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bucketsofgiggles · 5 years ago

Text

To Be There

Steven Universe Future fanfic, a missing scene from "Growing Pains", from Greg's POV. Greg tries to be the best father he can, considering the circumstances, as he also grapples with the idea he hasn't been the best father. AO3 link in the reblog.

As Steven shrunk back down to normal size, Greg quickly reached out to pull his son into an embrace. He's relieved when Steven accepts it readily, considering what he had just recently been through. And there was clearly much more going on that Greg wasn’t aware of.

“ How am I supposed to live my life when it always feels like I’m about to die? ”

Those words kept echoing. What exactly had led Steven to feel such a way? How had he, as a father, not noticed such a drastic change in his son?

There’s a quick nock on the door, which causes Steven to tense in his arms. Rubbing his son’s back, Greg turns his head to see who walked in. Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran stands just inside the room, shutting the door behind her, a stack of papers in her arms. She meets his eyes as the door shuts and the initial look of fury the doctor gives him makes Greg jump. While her professional face slips back on quickly, Steven still notices.

“You okay, Dad?” His voice is muffled in Greg’s shoulder and he spots Dr. Maheswaran’s eyes soften at the question.

“Yeah, Schtew-ball, it’s just Dr. Maheswaran.”

“...Without Connie?”

Yeah, that’s gonna be a sore spot for a bit. “Yep, just her.”

She doesn’t move when she speaks up. “Take all the time you need, Steven.”

Steven takes a few more big, shuddering breaths, squeezes his father tightly for a second, then breaks away. He rubs his eyes slightly as he looks around Greg for Dr. Maheswaran. “I’m ready now.”

She nods in response. “I have some questionnaires I need you to fill out. Please answer them honestly,” She states, crossing the room to Steven and hands him the papers and a pen. “I’m going to speak to your father in my office for a bit, so please wait here until we return. Feel free to put your regular clothes back on.”

Steven nods and heads over to a desk in the corner of the room, gabbing his clothes along the way. He glances over the top sheet of the stack. Greg didn’t get a chance to see what kind of “questionnaires” they were exactly.

With Steven’s back turned, Dr. Maheswaran levels Greg a withering glare. Whatever she wants to speak with him about in her office, it can’t be good. Greg swallows hard as he turns to follow her out of the exam room. He turns back in the doorway.

“Steven, please text me if you need anything, okay?” He glances up from the papers, and gives his dad a ghost of a smile as he nods. Greg doesn’t miss the way his face falls as he turns back towards the papers, his narrowing eyes storming as he reads.

Following Dr. Maheswaran to her office, he is very much reminded of his school day trips to the principal. But there are two very different factors now: A. Greg hasn’t the foggiest idea why Dr. Maheswaran is so angry at him and B. His son is involved somehow. Has Steven been hurt? Was someone hurting him? Why didn’t Steven tell him? Or the Gems?

They walk in, Dr. Maheswaran shutting the door behind him, and silently indicates for him to take a seat. The office is just as meticulous as Greg expected, with not a single piece of paper or chart out of place. The filing cabinets are clearly labeled, the textbooks and journals on the selves are in alphabetical order by author last name, and her screensaver is the same family picture from the Maheswaran’s New Years card. The only personal effects are her medical degrees and licenses hanging on the wall and a few framed pictures of Connie and her husband on her desk. She quickly sits down behind the desk and tents her hands, obscuring her mouth but leaving her furious eyes well exposed.

“So, uh,” Greg desperately tries to break the tension. “How did your exam go-”

“Greg Universe, please explain to me how your teenage son has never been to a doctor before?” She doesn’t yell, but her tone is withering. Greg feels himself slide down in his seat in shame.

“Well, uh, the lack of health insurance sure didn’t help.”

“There are programs to help with that, especially for single parents.”

“Yeah, but how was I supposed to explain Steven to any doctor? You gotta realize he wasn’t born in a hospital, or even in a…” Greg fumbles on his words, cursing the way his cheeks burn with embarrassment. “You know, typical way.”

“Well that’s why he seemed confused when I asked for his social security number. Does he even have a birth certificate?”

“No…”

“Has he even been vaccinated?”

“It’s not that I don’t believe in them! But with his physiology, I had no idea how they would react-”

“ Greg Universe ”

“Look, things were chaotic! My wife was dead, I had a newborn son who isn’t even fully human, I was alternating living out of my van and crashing on a friends couch, without health insurance! And do you think if I had taken him in and said ‘Hey, here’s my newborn son with a gemstone stuck in his naval. His mother was an immortal alien being who fought a war to defend the Earth thousands of years ago, and died to give birth to him. I’m raising him alongside her fellow alien friends who also have gemstones stuck in their bodies. Oh, and I didn’t even have the type of gemstone right at the time because his mother lied about who she was to escape her horrible home planet! ’ How would you have reacted?”

“It did take me witnessing Steven in action to fully believe it," Dr. Maheswaran shrugs a bit, her face relaxing slightly.

“Look, I did strongly consider it multiple times, but I was afraid of how they’d treat him. Plus, Steven never got sick or injured. Never. Not even those non-stop sniffles little kids get. Not a cold, not a fever, not a stomach bug; he was exceptionally healthy his entire childhood. Heck, he never even scraped his knees!”

Dr. Maheswaran sighs at that. “That actually leads well into one thing I found that we need to discuss.” She turns towards her computer screen, shakes the mouse to wake it up, and starts typing and clicking rapidly, leaving Greg clueless as to what she meant. Did Steven get hurt? Was he sick? After all these years and all the various incredible things he’s done, it seemed almost comical.

Then Dr. Maheswaran turned her screen around, and any thought of this situation being a comedy died. It's an x-ray of an upper body labeled “Universe, Steven ''. He didn’t need a doctor’s trained eye to see the various cracks and fracture lines running throughout Steven’s skeletal system, spiderwebbing through his ribs, spiraling down his upper arms, and some truly large and painful-looking breaks to his face.

“H- how?” Greg sputters, though he knows the reason - Steven’s healing powers.

“It seems that Steven’s Gem half is able to instantaneously heal any physical injury, major or minor, he experiences. The bones set and re-heal from the moment they break.” She hits the arrow keys and a few more images scroll past: His arms, legs, back, close-ups of his face, hands, and feet. All of them have some healed fracture lines on them, evidence that despite him never saying a word, Steven had been getting severely hurt for years. His son was getting this badly injured and Greg never noticed. Despite the horror gnawing at his gut, he couldn’t look away.

“Now, this is unprecedented in the medical field. Miraculous, even. And every test I ran on your son came back negative. Steven is physically a perfectly healthy teenage boy, even with his injury history.”

“Well then, that’s good, right?”

Dr. Maheswaran sighed. “These kinds of injuries...some of them only occur in cases of severe physical trauma. And Steven listed for me a number of incredibly severe, repeated instances of traumatic experiences he went through as a child. And then he indicated to me that that wasn’t all of them. I know his upbringing and heritage is...unusual, but he still has human anatomy and a human mind. And any human, especially a child or teenager, who went through that number and level of traumatic experiences for as long as he did is going to experience some mental effects.

“The questionnaires I gave Steven before we left the room were diagnostic screeners for Adverse Childhood Experiences, Major Depressive Disorder in teens, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in teens. And I might not be a psychiatrist, but I can say, based on my exam and conversation with Steven, that I am 98% certain of the PTSD diagnosis and 95% on the depression diagnosis. Those screeners are just a last bit of confirmation, as well as further evidence for his chart. Mr. Universe, your son is experiencing major mental health challenges.”

Greg stares at the doctor, slack jawed. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he feels a tear trace down his cheek. He goes to brush it away, and finds his hands are shaking. “I-I don’t...how did I not see?”

Dr. Maheswaran gives Greg a look of sympathy for the first time. “Honestly, I don’t think Steven even realizes just how much an effect all his traumatic experiences have had on him. That’s not at all uncommon, especially in cases like his where multiple traumatic events were experienced.” Greg groans, and Dr. Maheswaran pulls a box of tissues out from behind her desk and hands them to him. “Steven has experienced so many traumatic events that his body and mind have almost gotten used to being in mortal peril. But now that he no longer isn’t experiencing that, his body isn’t used to dealing with much more minor forms of stress, so it does what it’s used to; preparing for a potentially deadly scenario.”

And Steven’s words finally make sense. Steven has spent years realistically believing he might die, and now it’s all he’s ever known. All those Gem missions, over all the years… Greg had let him go. Greg had allowed Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl to take his son out on various dangerous, potentially deadly missions multiple times. And he stayed back, not wanting to get involved in a world he didn’t belong to. And even when he began to express concerns about it, Steven and the Gems all reassured him that things were fine. Steven had seemed fine . And Greg knew in his heart that if he pulled Steven away from Crystal Gem business, if he forbade him from going on missions, Steven might not have forgiven him.

Greg wonders now if he should’ve risked that anyway.

“So, what do I do now?”

“We can help your son. Rest assured, you are not alone in helping Steven deal with this. I will take on the role of Steven’s general practitioner. There is an excellent child psychologist in this hospital, Dr. Jeanne Greenlow, who I will refer Steven too, and I will make sure she fully understands his...unusual background. Unless something is indicated on the screeners I gave him, I expect that Steven will go home with you today.”

Dr. Maheswaran stands up, walks over to Greg, kneels down so they are at eye level, and places a hand on his shoulder. Her eyes have softened considerably, and the touch on his shoulder is fully comforting. “What you can do for Steven, right now, is take him home and be there for him. That, as his father, is the best thing you can do for him at this moment.”

Greg can tell that in every aspect of Dr. Maheswaran’s behavior, from her posture to her expression to her vocal tone, she was not speaking as a doctor, but as a fellow parent. Some of the panic that’s in him dies down as he meets her eyes. “I will, I promise.”

She nods, then stands up. “Let’s go see if he’s done.” Greg agrees, getting up and following her out of the door and back down the hospital hallways. His mind still swarms, but he pushes it all aside for now. He needs to focus on Steven, on what he needs, on being the best father he can be. Which is apparently going to have to be far better than what Greg has done so far.

As they approach the exam room, Dr. Maheswaran stops, spins around, and gives Greg another hard look. It’s not nearly as severe as some of her earlier ones, but it still makes him shudder a bit. “You need to discuss this with the Gems. Promise me you’ll do that.”

He blinks, slightly shocked. “Of course, I promise.”

She spins back around, takes a deep breath, puts on a much more soothing face, and opens the exam room door. Greg follows quickly enough behind to see Steven, now dressed in his regular clothes, sitting on the exam table, phone in hand. When his eyes meet Greg’s face, his pupils shrink and Greg realizes it’s obvious he’s been crying. Another pang of guilt hits him for making Steven worry again, so he puts on a smile as he walks over to the table and sits next to Steven. Almost instinctively, Steven scooches close and Greg puts his arm around his son. Knowing the news Dr. Maheswaran is about to break to him, Greg figures more hugs are better.

“Did you finish the questionnaires?” She asks, her tone far more gentle than anything she used with Greg, which does not at all make him angry. If anything, he’s grateful to Dr. Maheswaran for how well she’s handled this situation. Steven nods, handing her the stack of papers. “Great, give me a few minutes to put your answers into the computer.”

As she heads over to the desktop sitting on the corner desk and begins typing, Steven lays his head on Greg’s shoulder. “I’m sorry for worrying you.” His voice is whispered, creaking slightly.

“Don’t apologize for anything, Steven. Absolutely none of this is your fault.”

“It’s not good news, is it?”

Greg sighs. “No, but it’s not the end of the world either, kiddo. We’ll get through it. I’ll help you get through it.”

They sit, silent only for the sound of typing. After a few more minutes, Dr. Maheswaran gives a little hum at whatever pops up on her monitor, then turns towards the two of them. Her eyes are soft and full of sympathy. Greg pulls Steven closer as she approaches, sits down close to Steven, and begins to explain the diagnoses. She tells him everything she already told Greg in her office, and that she’s already sent his chart with a referral note to Dr. Greenlow’s office.

“Once the referral is processed, your father will get a call from her office to schedule an appointment.” At this, Dr. Maheswaran gives a pointed look at Greg, with the unspoken and he will pick up that phone call and make the appointment clearly in her gaze.

“Wait, why does Dad need to make the appointment? I could do it.” Steven asks.

“It’s protocol, as you’re still a minor in the eyes of the law.”

Greg can see the refutes brewing in Steven’s brain, up to and including his dismantling of a millennium-long, multi-galaxy, tyrannical rule, but he’s clearly too physically and mentally tired to make the argument.

At the end, Dr. Maheswaran gives Greg a polite handshake, and then, after a moment's hesitation, pulls Steven into a hug. Though she whispers, he can still make out the words she says to Steven. “I know things between you and Connie are...difficult right now, but she wanted me to tell you that she’s ready to talk whenever you are. She’s okay with waiting because she wants you to be comfortable first. So, don't push yourself, okay?"

Steven pulls away, wiping a tear from his eye. “Thanks, Dr. Maheswaran.”

“Of course, Steven. Feel better, and please, reach out if you need to see me again.”

Greg and Steven agree and they leave the room, Greg grabbing the duffle he had dropped outside the exam room when he spotted Steven through the window. It had just a few days worth of clothes and essentials, but he had more of his stuff still at the car wash, and he could use Steven’s washer and dryer for laundry. He had to leave the van with Sadie and Shep; they had dropped him off in front of the hospital and went on, the tour still tentatively on unless they heard otherwise from him. He would have to call them, but decided it could wait until tomorrow.

Steven pulling the Dondai keys from his jacket pocket answered the question of how to get home before Greg could ask it. But as they got to the parking lot and approached the car, Steven stopped short.

“Do you want me to drive?” Greg asked.

“...Yeah, I’m a bit tired.” Steven said, handing the keys over.

Greg got the car unlocked so Steven could sit down, threw his duffle in the trunk, then got in and began driving back towards Beach City. The ride starts silent, Steven staring out the window blankly. Greg has never been the one to ride in silence; it makes him uneasy to not have some music in the background. After checking the tape deck and finding it empty, he fiddles with the radio until he finds the radio station Shep had stumbled upon, which plays a lot of soft, acoustic music. It had been good post-show calm-down tracks, and Greg feels that it would be best after everything that had happened. He knows he’s right when he glances at Steven and sees him smiling softly, fingers tapping along on the window.

They approach the house, and the pair get out of the car, Steven grabbing Greg’s duffle for him. The two enter, Greg calling out a “Hey, we’re home. And by we, I mean I’m here with Steven.”

“The Gems aren’t here,” Steven says behind him. “Little Homeschool field trips, they’ll be back tomorrow."

“Well, then it’s just you and me, lil man. Like the old days.”

“Yeah, like the old days…” Steven replies, a little wistful. “You sure you’ll be okay on the couch?”

“Yeah, my back ain’t that old yet,” Greg states, but the little pang that he feels when he says that argues otherwise. But Steven doesn’t need to know that; the last thing he needs to feel is guilty.

“Okay. I’m gonna uh…” Steven starts as he climbs up the stairs, but his voice trailing off soon turns into a groan.

“What’s going on?”

“I forgot I left my room a mess.”

Greg climbs up the stairs, and manages to push down the sound of shock he feels climbing up his throat. While not meticulous, Steven did like to keep his space orderly and clean (although Greg figures Pearl had no small part in that). So the complete mess - cartons of melted ice cream, dirty bowls stacked on top of each other, clothes strewn about, bed unmade - of his son’s room was quite shocking. Greg only feels more guilty at not noticing something sooner; the seriousness of this was made all the more clear.

He spots Steven’s shoulders sag as they take in the state of his room, and Greg knows he needs to make things as easy on him as possible. “Hey, don’t worry about it, Schtew-ball. I’ll clean this up. You go grab your pajamas and go downstairs to get changed.”

“But, Dad, it’s my room and my mess. I should handle it.”

“Steven, it’s okay, you’ve had a long day. I don’t mind helping you out a bit.”

There’s a few seconds before Steven sighs, telling Greg he’s won. “Okay, but let me take the bowls downstairs and wash them, if I’m going to head down anyway.”

Greg decides not to argue, knowing Steven will feel better by helping a little bit. He was never one to let others do a job he felt responsible for. As he grabs his pajamas and the bowls and heads back downstairs, Greg wonders if that’s partly what led to all of this. The task of picking up the room allows him to not dwell on that thought.

Once he’s done, Greg heads downstairs, Steven’s bedding in his arms. As he turns the corner into the living room, he sees Steven on the couch, scrolling through his phone, the bowls and spoons lined up perfectly on the drying rack by the sink. “Hey, the laundry room’s still on the hand with the warp pad, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Figured it might be good to give your sheets a wash, but if you gotta warp me up there-”

“No, no, that’s okay. Honestly, they probably need it.”

They quickly head up to the laundry set-up outside and throw Steven’s bedding in the machine. When they warp back down, Steven’s stomach rumbles.

“Been a while since you ate?”

“Yeah, and it was mostly ice cream…” Steven says, making his way over to the kitchen. Greg follows as Steven looks through his cupboards and fridge, shoulders shagging as he mumbles different meal options under his breath, accounting for prep and cook time and if there’s enough for two.

“Hey, Steven,” Greg finally interrupts the third time Steven debates the box of pasta. “Let’s just call Fish Stew Pizza for dinner and have a pizza-and-a-bad-movie night, like we did when you were a kid. Sound like fun?”

Steven glances at the cupboard again, then grins at him. It’s not nearly as large as Steven’s typical smiles, but it’s the largest he’s given today and Greg’s heart is full.

Steven goes back up to his room to go through his movie collection while Greg calls Fish Stew and places their typical delivery order. As he finishes, the ordering process elongated by Kofi getting on the line and catching up, Steven returns downstairs with one of the Boomerang Blade movies. Greg would’ve gone with whatever Steven wanted, but he definitely can’t say no when he sees the smile still on his son’s face.

They move Steven’s bedding to the dryer and start the movie, curling under blankets at the foot of his bed. About 20 minute in, there’s a knock at the door.

“That must be the pizza, I’ll run down and get it,” Greg says as Steven reaches to hit the pause button. He makes his way back downstairs and opens the door for Kiki, holding the extra large box in her hands.

“Hey, Mr. Universe! Didn’t believe you were in town when my dad mentioned it. What happened to the tour?”

“Oh it’s still going on, but uh…” Greg glances up the stairs. Steven certainly wouldn’t want Greg telling Kiki, or anybody else for that matter, about his PTSD diagnosis without his permission. “Steven had something come up so I decided to pay him a visit and help.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” She says as Greg hands her the money. “Tell him I said hello!”

“Will do, have a good night!”

Greg makes his way back up the stairs, balancing the box in one hand, and spots Steven’s eyes the moment he re-enters his room. There’s a level of fear and embarrassment in there. “Was that Kiki?” Greg nods as he sits back down on the floor, putting the box between them. Steven grabs a slice and stares at it a moment. “Did she say anything about you being here?”

“Yeah, but I just said you had something come up, so I decided to visit.”

“Nothing else?”

“Nope,” Greg pauses as he takes a slice of his own, and takes in the concern on his son’s face. “I won’t tell anyone about the PTSD or anything else that happened today without you being there or without your permission. But,” he interjects when the relief starts to flood Steven’s face. “Dr. Maheswaran wants us to tell the Gems. And honestly, I agree with her. At least Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. They raised you, they were around you for a lot of what you went through, you still live with them. They need to know what’s going on.”

Greg holds his breath while Steven processes what he just said. He hates pilling it all on now, but it needs to be said and discussed and the conversation led there naturally. With the Gems out until tomorrow, they need to plan out how the conversation will go.

“You’re right,” Steven finally says. “They need to, should, know what happened.”

“Right. So, how do you want to handle it? Do you want to do it on your own, do you want me to do it?”

There’s another pause as Steven thinks. Greg hates putting stress on him, especially after everything, but it’s better now than throwing him into a situation tomorrow he’s unprepared for. “Can we both do it? Together?”

“Of course, Schtew-ball. I’ll do whatever you need me to.”

There’s another small smile, and it stays as Steven turns back towards the TV and unpauses the movie.

They go through the movie and the pizza, Steven taking care of more than half the box himself. Greg lets him; that Gem-stress response looks like it took a lot of energy. Once the credits roll, they venture back up to the laundry hand to grab Steven’s bedding from the dryer, then warp back downstairs. As Greg passes the kitchen, an idea comes to him.

“Hey, do you mind making your bed? I’ve got to do something real quick.”

“Uh, okay, sure.” Steven says, then heads upstairs. Once he’s around the corner, Greg runs to the cupboard, rifling through and- Ah ha! He thought he spotted the hot cocoa packaging. He grabs a mug and some milk, warms it up, and stirs the cocoa and marshmallows in until it looks perfectly soothing. As quickly as he can without spilling, he makes his way up the stairs to see Steven smoothing the corners of his duvet.

His eyebrows raise at the mug. “I still have hot cocoa?”

“I spotted the box while you were looking through earlier. A hot drink never made anyone feel worse.” There’s a little grin as Greg approaches the bed and Steven climbs in, old routines coming back despite the years. Steven sips and they chat a bit more about the day and what has to come tomorrow. Soon, Steven starts slipping himself more under the covers, his blinks becoming longer.

“Get some sleep, Schtew-ball. You’ve had a long day.”

Steven makes a noise of agreement as he fully lays down and rolls onto his side, facing away from Greg, and it’s like they had just done this yesterday. He carefully reaches a hand out towards Steven’s curls, and rubs them as he begins to sing softly. Comforting nostalgia fills him as the time passes Steven’s breathing becomes more even, both slipping into a routine from way back when he was really little. Even if his son is older, and bigger, bringing peace to galaxies, the curly haired teen sound asleep in bed was still Greg’s little boy. He would always be there to support him, to love him.

Guilt pangs deep in Greg’s chest. He didn’t support him, not enough, not this time, not so many times before. Steven might be calm now, but there was tomorrow to face, and the days after it. There were so many unknowns and how to handle them seemed insurmountable if Greg thought about it too hard.

Who knows how challenging they must feel to Steven, who responded to stress as though he could die.

But those were all tomorrow things. So all he could do now was reflect on the awful father he had been.

Years, years, of unending trauma had been inflicted on his kid and he hadn’t noticed the effects, hadn’t even stopped to really ask if Steven was okay. He acted like he was doing fine, and Greg had believed him. And after everything he’d been through over the past six years, Greg had left his son alone so he could, what? Relive his glory days traveling the country? What kind of a father was he?

Greg groaned as he recalled his earlier phone call with Steven. He had probably called to reach out, to talk at least about his failed proposal to Connie, and what had Greg done? Ignored the strain in his voice and joyfully talked about the tour being extended. Made his son feel that pulling him away from the tour would be burdensome. Gave him another excuse to not talk about his feelings. Took away another social support, and left him to face this alone.

How was he going to make all of that up to Steven?

He couldn’t believe Steven wasn’t angry with him. He would be if the roles were reversed. But Steven had been so relieved the moment Greg walked into the hospital room. And he had given him some genuine smiles throughout the evening, and seemed to enjoy everything Greg had done. What Dr. Maheswaran had told him, speaking parent-to-parent, went through his mind again.

He looked back down at Steven, still soundly asleep. Greg knew his son well enough that he’d forgive his father’s mistakes, tell him it wasn’t a big deal, that he should forget about it.

But Greg wasn’t going to forget his failings, nor forgive them quite just yet. He hasn’t yet done enough for forgiveness. But he will. To be the father he promised Rose and himself he would be before Steven was born, he will be there for his son. He won’t let his son face this alone anymore.

“ How am I supposed to live my life when it always feels like I’m about to die? ”

Greg Universe was going to help his son live again.

#Steven Universe #Steven Universe Future #SU #SUF #Steven Universe fanfic #Steven Universe Future Fanfic #SUF fanfic #Growing Pains #my fanfic #i've been a fan of SU for 5 years and this is my first fic for it #this was initially a drabble but i wasn't satisfied with it #too much telling over showing #so i told and now it's my longest one shot whoops #long post

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anonymous-wolf22 · 5 years ago

Text

Fuck Yeah

1: Name Kai

2: Age 22

3: 3 Fears Fiance leaving me, never meeting him face-to-face, being alone with my thoughts

4: 3 things I love My fiance, food/desserts, and animals ^^

5: 4 turns on Hell, anything my fiance says to me, forced to submit, pain, and just looking at my fiance

6: 4 turns off Talking bout my parents, my current life situation, thinking about a certain asshole, and my depressing thoughts seeping through

7: My best friend That one’s hard.... It’s a tie between David and Kiana, though I’m leaning more towards David

8: Sexual orientation Bi-sexual <3

9: My best first date What first date?

10: How tall am I 5.1 ft :’(

11: What do I miss Triple Chocolate Fudge Cake

12: What time were I born 1:03 pm

13: Favorite color Black, Red, Purple, and Blue

14: Do I have a crush Yep :)

15: Favorite quote I got lots

“It’s funny how someone can break your heart and you still love them with all the tiny pieces”

“I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you”

“The demons are back and stronger than ever. They are looking for a fight, looking to win, and this time, I might just let them.....”

16: Favorite place Does in my fiances arms count if I haven’t been there yet?

17: Favorite food They are all number 1 <3

18: Do I use sarcasm Sometimes

19: What am I listening to right now Criminal by Britney Spears

20: First thing I notice in new person Hmm, the way they act, their personality~

21: Shoe size Fuck, idk lmao

22: Eye color Blue

23: Hair color Dirty-Blonde (Wish it was black)

24: Favorite style of clothing I don’t know, I guess loose and comfy

25: Ever done a prank call? Can’t remember

27: Meaning behind my URL Don’t have one

28: Favorite movie Fuck, uhhhh..... Deadpool 1&2 for now~

29: Favorite song Lot’s, Baby Don’t Cut - Bmike, Anxiety - Blackbear, Hold On - Chord Overstreet, and more fucking depressing songs <3

30: Favorite band Hmmm.... Ramstein

31: How I feel right now Eh, depressed, loved, horny, sad, upset, happy, it’s all jumbled up

32: Someone I love My fiance~

33: My current relationship status Engaged <3 <3

34: My relationship with my parents I wouldn’t care if they died, not going to lie, I would do it if there were no consequences

35: Favorite holiday Halloween ;o

36: Tattoos and piercing i have Sadly, no tats yet. Only piercings I have so far, are my ears

37: Tattoos and piercing i want Tattoo: A knife going through a skull with chains loosely wrapped around it Piercing: The tip of my ears

38: The reason I joined Tumblr My fiance told me about it, and it was an easier way for us to chat with each other and send each other all of the dirty little naughty things we want~

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I don’t know if he hates me, but I don’t know if I hate him, I’m just fucked up and confused

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Nope, but I hope to soon~

42: When did I last hold hands? Hold hands? I think that was in 8th grade when my friend Kiana was dragging me away from the bullies

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Like 5-10 minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yep

45: Where am I right now? In my cursed room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Depends, where am I? In England, my fiance. Here? I don’t know, Kiana

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Depends on the type of music playing, and also what it’s playing from, like headphones.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Unfortunately

49: Am I excited for anything? 2024 :3

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yep

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Honestly? 97% of the time

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? I don’t know, uhmmm..... think it was in 11th grade

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Well, that’s a hard one, cause I have yet to kiss anyone. But, say if it was my fiance, I would slap the shit out of whoever he is kissing, and probably shove a stick up their @$$

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? ....

55: What is something I disliked about today? No chocolate

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? My fiance, I just want him in front of me and to hug him and never let go~

57: What do I think about most? 2024, Desserts, Fiance, Music, Pets, unfortunately, John

58: What’s my strangest talent? Uhhh.... Don’t really have any, I guess hiding how I truly feel inside

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Is being deathly afraid of ants a strange phobia?

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, 100%

61: What was the last lie I told? That I was fine

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I don’t know, they both seem a bit weird to me

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts, yes. Aliens? I don’t know

64: Do I believe in magic? Who knows

65: Do I believe in luck? Sometimes

66: What’s the weather like right now? Clear

67: What was the last book I’ve read? A fan-fiction of RWBY

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Yesssss

69: Do I have any nicknames? K

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? My arm twisting completely around

71: Do I spend money or save it? Save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Nope :(

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Eww, fuck noooo

74: Favorite animal? Entire Cat family and wolves

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Watching “Love 020″ on Netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Hmmm.... I have no clue, never really thought about it

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Lots, but, definitely this one: Dream of You - Camila Cabello and Battle Scars - Lupe Fiasco

78: How can you win my heart? Be mindful of how I truly feel, care for me like no one ever has, be a dominant

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? "I had so many battle scars from my war, but my love healed them away~”

80: What is my favorite word? Chocolate

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr @thelonewolf84 @we-are-beautiful-s0uls @britishdom

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? I don’t give a fuck what you think about who I love

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Yeah, my bio-father

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Invisibility

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? What my thoughts are about my ex or how I feel towards him or what I would say if I was allowed the chance to ask him 1 thing

86: What is my current desktop picture? I have it on shuffle, but currently it’s on a picture of an anime boy playing the piano in the rain

87: Had sex? Not yet ;)

88: Bought condoms? Nope

89: Gotten pregnant? Do I seriously need to answer that?

90: Failed a class? Yes.... I think

91: Kissed a boy? Not yet ;)

92: Kissed a girl? Nope

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Haven’t kissed anyone!!! Omg

94: Had job? Not yet

95: Left the house without my wallet? What wallet?

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Fuck no!

97: Had sex in public? -sigh-

98: Played on a sports team? Yep, soccer and baseball when I was 8-11

99: Smoked weed? Nope

100: Did drugs? Nope

101: Smoked cigarettes? Almost

102: Drank alcohol? Mhm

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Fuck no! I want my bacon and kielbasa!!!

104: Been overweight? Nope

105: Been underweight? Currently am

106: Been to a wedding? Yep, my aunts

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Yes lol, longer

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes lol, longer

109: Been outside my home country? Not yet

110: Gotten my heart broken? ....yes.....

111: Been to a professional sports game? I...think so....?

112: Broken a bone? Many, many times. I was very clumsy in my teens, I still am but have yet to break any bones so far

113: Cut myself? Yes and yes, to both ways

114: Been to prom? No, skipped it

115: Been in airplane? -shivers- Too scared to be in one, but I will have to when I go to England

116: Fly by helicopter? Nope

117: What concerts have I been to? None

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yep

119: Learned another language? Mhm, spanish

120: Wore make up? No

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Still a virgin.....

122: Had oral sex? Nope

123: Dyed my hair? Want to

124: Voted in a presidential election? Nope, fuck politics

125: Rode in an ambulance? Yep

126: Had a surgery? Mhm

127: Met someone famous? Nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network? Hehe....yeah lol

129: Peed outside? I don’t remember if I have or have not

130: Been fishing? Yes... My instructor ate the worms ;-;

131: Helped with charity? Yep ^^

132: Been rejected by a crush? Yep

133: Broken a mirror? Yeah

134: What do I want for birthday? Depends, which birthday? This year, Triple Chocolate Fudge cake. 2024, to be in my fiance’s arms~

#took to long #it was awesome though #love surveys #and my fiance #more of me #surveys #depressed #i got insomnia #love yall

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tjswritingstuff · 5 years ago

Text

11/11/11 Tag Game

I was tagged by @katherinescribbles!

1 Who is your favorite character in any work of fiction and why? This is a hard question. There’s a lot of characters that I really like for various reasons. I think there’s really an archetype of character that I find myself drawn to in most works. The rebellious, misunderstood “bad boy” who is redeemed through love. Cliché, and something that I personally don’t write, but those are the characters that I find myself thinking about after I close the book.

2 Do you remember the first piece of writing you ever wrote? What was it?

My very first piece of writing, I consider my work rather than like a homework assignment or something, was a poem. My uncle Melvin had a computer. I was 8 at the time so we’re talking in ’95. The computer was so old it didn’t have windows yet. You had to enter everything through commands. But the one thing that I could do on it was write and print. It printed on the paper that was joined together. So, I had access to a computer that could do basically nothing. For the first time in my life I saw a blank screen and it’s promise. I wrote a poem about an apple tree in my grandparents’ yard. It was one of my favorite things to climb. Me and my little brother had spent hours there. If I was going to write something it had to be about something I loved. I loved that tree. I don’t remember the words to the poem. I do remember the rush that I got when I finished, printed it, and took it to show my mom.

It might not have been my first story, I mean I had siblings we told each other stories orally all the time, but it was when I discovered my love for writing.

3 If you could be any kind of fairytale creature, what would you be and why?

Today I think I’d like to be a forest nymph. I mean that will probably change tomorrow, but for today I’d like to lay at the edge of a forest pool and be seductive. I want to feel cool water against my skin and listen to the wind through the leaves. I want to spend some time in love with nature and part of it.

4 What is your zodiac sign and MBTI?

I’m a Leo and my MBTI is fluid. I am normally either INTJ or ENTJ depending on my mood. Sometimes I enjoy being with people, other times I just need some space to myself to be alone with my thoughts. My judging vs. perceiving will also shift a depending on how I’m feeling about the world.

5 How would you describe your writing style? My stories tend to be dark. I write horror and science fiction. A lot of my current readers aren’t avid readers, so I write my stories to tell what happens as succinctly as possible while still eliciting an emotional response from the readers.

6 Come up with a 5 word prompt! What is it? Why’d the devil visit Georgia?

7 Where do you find most of your inspiration for your writing?

This is another hard question because I don’t think there is one source for most of my writing.

Mother of Time was inspired by my son playing. When he was 4, he made a time machine out of a cardboard box in the garage. He got upset that it didn’t work to take him back in time. In my book I wrote a story about a mother whose son invents a time machine and because of it she loses him.

Love Never Dies was inspired by the song “Saving Amy” by Brantley Gilbert.

My Magic and Moonlight series was inspired by a nightmare.

My inspiration really is life, I take moments things that might mean nothing and try to turn them into something I find interesting.

8 What was the last piece of fiction to make you feel an extreme emotional response over?

I don’t remember. I remember Bridges of Madison County has stuck with me the longest, but it’s not the last thing I read that made me cry.

9 What’s your favorite trope?

So, I’m not going to lie. I just spent a long time looking at TVTropes asking myself which is my favorite. I’m not any closer to an answer. I love tropes especially if they’re done well. If they’re done poorly, they are clichés, but I don’t mind those either.

10 Opinion on love triangles?

I’d rather see less love triangles and more polyamorous relationships. Love triangles are a good source of conflict in a story, but too many times it becomes the driving conflict of the story.

11 Something you wish you’d see more in the stories you read?

I want to see more things that don’t say love and marriage are the end goal of life. I like healthy relationships that aren’t just about who ends up with who. I like when people who do like each other walk away from unhealthy relationships and don’t hate and vilify each other for it.

My questions

1. Who encourages you to write? Who is your support team?

2. If you could go on a writing retreat anywhere in the world where you would you like to go?

3. What part of writing appeals to you the most?

4. When did you get your last big idea?

5. Why do you think you were drawn to writing over other hobbies?

6. How do you prefer to work? What’s your writing routine like?

7. If your pet/ any animal was a human character how would you describe them?

8. Where do you like to write?

9. Do you collect notebooks? If so, what kind do you like?

10. Who is your ideal reader?

11. What is your dream for your writing?

Tagging: Everyone. Tag. You’re it. Have fun.

#tag game #11/11/11

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teapotpartythot · 6 years ago

Text

Doing this

1: I’m afraid my name will have to stay ademainalors ;)

2: 20

3: 3 Fears

The afterlife

Immortality

Mortality

4: 3 things I love

Anime

My Dell Latitude E6410

Cartoons that cannot technically be called anime

5: 4 turns on

Power

Intelligence

Strange hair

Complex understanding of trauma

6: 4 turns off

Misogyny

Homophobia

Clingyness

7: My best friend

Brie or Kyle, although to be honest, I haven’t talked with many humans in the past several months, so at this point, both individuals probably only consider me as a regular friend

8: Sexual orientation

Pansexual

9: My best first date

Aromantic, I never knew, but they were all awful

10: How tall am I

5″ 5′

11: What do I miss

When Zack used to do house rules DND with me, Kyle and Armstrong

12: What time were I born

Heck if I know

13: Favourite color

#ff0000

14: Do I have a crush

I tend not to pay my crushes much mind now that I’ve come to terms with my aromanticism, but when Nathan joked about how he’d want to fuck someone in the server closet, in my head I was like, name a time

15: Favourite quote

16: Favourite place

The Japanese Library

17: Favourite food

Pasta

18: Do I use sarcasm

No, never, not me ever

19: What am I listening to right now

The silence of the void (that’s not an edgy band name... yet)

20: First thing I notice in new person

Their relationship to power

21: Shoe size

10 I think? Fun fact, I religiously wear crocs, and crocs actually stretch out with use, so my crocs have been growing with my feet.

22: Eye color

Hazel

23: Hair color

Brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

I was talking to Kyle about Queer Eye, and I said, “You know what they would say to me if they saw me, they would say I wear clothes that nobody would ever wear because no clothes express my gender, and then they would fix that” And he told me I was perceptive. My favorite shirt is an MPR Volunteer shirt that has no gender.

25: Ever done a prank call?

Nope

27: Meaning behind my URL

What Adrien says to Marinette at the end of the umbrella scene, “See you around” in french

28: Favourite movie

Tangled, but in Spanish

29: Favourite song

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story

30: Favourite band

Baths

31: How I feel right now

Overwhelmed

32: Someone I love

My parents platonically

33: My current relationship status

Single

34: My relationship with my parents

Good

35: Favourite holiday

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

I’d prefer to keep those Japanese bathhouse privileges

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

I shared a blog with Kyle on Blogger and he wanted it moved because Blogger sucks

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I’m irritated with my last ex, as my last relationship made me realize I was aromantic and that I was doing painful amounts of emotional labor and downright fraud in the name of normalicy

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

Nope

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

My dad? Platonically

42: When did I last hold hands?

In my last relationship

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

30 Minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

I haven’t shaved them in the past three years!

45: Where am I right now?

My room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

Nobody, that’s why I don’t drink

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

At a reasonable level

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

Yes

49: Am I excited for anything?

If I’m being honest, no, but there are several things I would tell people about IRL if I were asked

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

Is the opposite of non-binary cisgender, or another non-binary? Doesn’t matter, the answer is no

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Too much

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

My dad, platonically, two weeks ago

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I wouldn’t care

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

My lab partner for this goddamn lab report

55: What is something I disliked about today?

My lack of productivity

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

Justin Trudeau

57: What do I think about most?

My time efficiency

58: What’s my strangest talent?

Mechanum: I can execute complete instructions perfectly, and I can memorize sets of complete instructions. So if I get a set of complete instructions, I can master the task associated. I am very good at extremely divergent tasks due to this.

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

Having to attend SCSU

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind. Pansonic HMC150s are the bomb .com

61: What was the last lie I told?

I told a group of people that I was sick. I’m actually just anxious and depressed, which is it’s own kind of sick, but I implied influenza.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chat.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Aliens probably, but they likely formed at the same time we did and are either too far or lackluster like dolphins. Ghosts, not really.

64: Do I believe in magic?

I bought a spell from a witch down on money, I just like witches though, I’m not wiccan

65: Do I believe in luck?

100%

66: What’s the weather like right now?

Clear night skies?

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Sedra Smith, Microelectric Circuits

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

69: Do I have any nicknames?

None that I like, except 雨

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

Concussion, 6th grade skiing accident

71: Do I spend money or save it?

Mostly save

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

Nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

Yup, my blankets are pink, should change 74: Favourite animal? 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Sleeping

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

Ochocki-Becker

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Get it together, by the Go-Team 78: How can you win my heart?

You can’t. I’ll be your QP if we make a utilitarian symbiotic domestic partnership. I’ll fuck you if you’re sexy and can somehow manage to not trigger memories of my sexual assault, but like, that won’t happen.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

Rest in Pieces

80: What is my favorite word?

です

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

I’m not here to start a war, though one of them is haiku bot

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

We are not Trump

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

Nope

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Pausing time

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

Tell me about your sexual history

86: What is my current desktop picture?

Me standing next to a no parking sign in Japanese in a small town in rural Minnesota

87: Had sex?

Yes

88: Bought condoms?

Kind of

89: Gotten pregnant?

90: Failed a class?

I have more W’s than a web address but no F’s

91: Kissed a boy?

Yes

92: Kissed a girl?

Yes

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

94: Had job?

Yes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yes

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

Actually, surprisingly, Kyle. We’re cool now.

97: Had sex in public?

98: Played on a sports team?

Yep, 3rd grade, Softball. I wanted to play baseball and I hated it.

99: Smoked weed?

100: Did drugs?

101: Smoked cigarettes?

102: Drank alcohol?

Confirmation wine, a sip of champaign that I spat out, a sip of gin that I spat out. I can taste the death of my mouth microbiota when I put alcohol in my mouth

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

Vegetarian

104: Been overweight?

Nope

105: Been underweight?

Probably

106: Been to a wedding?

Yes

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

まいにち

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

はい、アニメを見ます。

109: Been outside my home country?

Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken?

I don’t have one, but I found out a FWB hated non binaries. It was kind of crushing.

111: Been to a professional sports game?

Yep

112: Broken a bone?

Nope

113: Cut myself?

Sort of, TW: I pick at the skin around my toenails, sometimes with pushpins

114: Been to prom?

115: Been in airplane?

Yep, Houston

116: Fly by helicopter?

117: What concerts have I been to?

The FIRST Robotics concert

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

Yep

119: Learned another language?

はい、すごし

120: Wore make up?

Yeah, I hate it

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

TW: Is rape virginity

122: Had oral sex?

Yeah, it sucked.

123: Dyed my hair?

124: Voted in a presidential election?

Hillary Clinton

125: Rode in an ambulance?

Yes, concussion

126: Had a surgery?

Wisdom teeth removal

127: Met someone famous?

Dessa

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

Probably

129: Peed outside?

130: Been fishing?

Yes

131: Helped with charity?

Yes

132: Been rejected by a crush?

Yes

133: Broken a mirror?

Yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

Cash

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

Adopting teenagers, they’ll have names already, probably one, but maybe more if they’ve got sibs, Despicable Me style.

136: Was I named after anyone?

Something

137: Do I like my handwriting?

No, it’s an abomination

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

Piglet

139: Favourite Tv Show?

Assasination Classroom

140: Where do I want to live when older?

Minnesota doncha no?

141: Play any musical instrument?

Used to play trombone

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

Scootering accident

143: Favourite pizza toping?

Alfredo sauce instead of tomato sauce

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

No 145: Am I afraid of heights?

Yes 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

No 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

The midterm two days ago

148: What I’m really bad at

Reading university textbooks

149: What my greatest achievments are

Student Senate President

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

I was in a political argument and some bitch brought my yellow teeth into it

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

Take the payments over time, put in a bank account, pay off people’s loans on the contidition they try to pay off other people’s loans, put solar panels on things, buy a tesla

152: What do I like about myself

My hair 153: My closest Tumblr friend

@dragon-in-a-fez 154: Something I fantasise about

Being dictator of the US 155: Any question you’d like?

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liberatingflame · 6 years ago

Note

1-169, asshole

lol i love you

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

like 6′ would be perfect

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)

uh. dragon? dragon.

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?

anything that you look at and you can’t decide if it’s jock or goth

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

spyro was the only series i was allowed to play and i lived for it

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:

whatever i’m hyperfixated on that month, sleep, and ciaran

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

warning: nearly pure taurus energy, scorpio ascending

7: What is your opinion on alpacas?

they’re fluffy and better than llamas

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

melancholic is what i just got, but it switches between that and sanguine all the time

9: Are you ticklish?

yes.

10: Are you allergic to anything?

am i not allergic to anything?

11: What’s your sexuality?

pan

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

cocoa or tea, just never coffee

13: Are you a cat or dog person?

cat

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

merperson hands fucking down

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?

bazza or muselk probably

16: How tall are you?

5′6ish

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

uh. well. you see. it’s jay.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

lmao no

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?

yes, i do

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?

i’m a “look at those stars” kind of person, but my room growing up was painted like it was underwater, so. both.

21: Are you religious?

lmao

22: Pet peeves?

harley licking my things

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?

i’d rather be diurnal because, uh, functioning human. i am nocturnal though.

24: Favorite constellation?

dickbutt

25: Favorite star?

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

i don’t like dolls, but those are the cutest

27: Any phobias or fears?

sure

28: Do you think global warming is real?

look outside right now and tell me it’s not

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

yeah, there have been enough instances of actual cases that it’s pretty hard for me to personally deny, so

30: Favorite movie?

it cycles, i still love heathers tho

31: Do you get scared easily?

kind of? not really?

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

not counting fish and including harley, 7

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

valid to eat fingers

34: What is a color that calms you?

blue and certain shades of red

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

i’m really liking washington?? i’d like to travel anywhere

36: Where were you born?

sanford, florida. hrugh.

37: What is your eye color?

blue-green

38: Introvert or extrovert?

extroverted introvert?

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

it gets spooky sometimes, but like. not on a basic level for sure.

40: Hugs or kisses?

depends

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

ngl, my sisters

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

everyone i love? uh

43: Any piercings you want?

re-pierce my cartilage and get a few more lobe piercings and just like stab me and put something in it and i’ll love it

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

yes.

45: Do you smoke or have you ever done so?

i’ve smoked weed, but like. eh. cigarettes are gross, they smell and feel and taste awful.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

i don’t have a crush on anyone lol

47: What is a sound you really hate?

ticking

48: A sound you really love?

trains really late at night.

49: Can you do a backflip?

50: Can you do the splits?

the splits? no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

winona ryder

52: Favorite movie?

uh h hh h i already answered this

53: How are you feeling right now?

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

i just dyed it but i really want it to be red again. it was like a sunset red for a while during the fading process and i’d kill for that all the time.

55: When did you feel happiest?

when a cat touched me with her tiny feet

56: Something that calms you down?

cats and their tiny feet

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

58: What does your URL mean?

it’s based on something i said when i was not myself. i said i’d died before and i’d do it again. so i’m functionally immortal.

59: What three words describe you the most?

really fucking tired

60: Do you believe in evolution?

it’s. science.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

a lot. i’m not above doing things for petty reasons.

62: What makes you follow a blog?

being interested in what they post??

63: Favorite kind of person:

64: Favorite animal(s):

cats, snakes, birds

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

@heathersadapt, @heatherspoisson, @dirtyheathersconfessions

66: Favorite emoticon:

:}€

67: Favorite meme:

horse memes. like. valid to eat fingers.

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

infp

69: What is your star sign:

taurus

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

lmao no

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

my work clothes or my pajamas

72: Post a selfie or two?

73: Do you have platform shoes?

GOD I WISH

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i’m the bird friend

75: Can you do a front flip?

76: Do you like birds?

i love birds

77: Do you like to swim?

of course i do

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

swimming

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

do you want to see my blacklist or something

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

fire magic. i wish fire magic were real.

81: Piercings you have?

just ears at the moment, cartilage closed up lmao

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

sleeping, eating ice cream, listening to music. pick from my faves.

83: Favorite person to talk to:

ciaran??

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

god it sucks here

85: How many followers do you have?

222 and only 111 of them are spam

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

in middle school, which was the last time i tried, i ran a mile in 6 minutes and 46 seconds

87: Do your socks always match?

fuck no that’s hard

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

yes

89: What are your birthstones?

diamond? stones?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

a cockatoo probably

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

i don’t fucking know

92: A store you hate?

walmart and the ones that smell bad in the mall

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

many, but i hate coffee so i drink none

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

fly, i don’t want to know what’s going through anyone else’s mind

95: Do you like to wear camo?

no. i did in elementary school.

96: Winter or summer?

winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

long enough to cross the bridge in spirited away

98: Least favorite person?

it’s all family all the way

99: Someone you look up to:

myself

100: A store you love?

target, lush

101: Favorite type of shoes

boots!! boots!!!! i also like sneakers

102: Where do you live?

outside of seattle

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?

no i like meat

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

uhhhh opals are the most diverse and coolest?

105: Do you drink milk?

106: Do you like bugs?

107: Do you like spiders?

108: Something you get paranoid about?

hhhh

109: Can you draw:

yes, but is it good? absolutely not

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?

this one

111: A question you hate being asked?

this one

112: Ever been bitten by a spider?

i lived in florida. yes.

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

i love them

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

cloudy, i moved to washington for a reason

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:

i’m comfortable right now actually

116: Favorite cloud type:

the kind in the sky

117: What color do you wish the sky was?

i wish i caught the sunset today

118: Do you have freckles?

no :(

119: Favorite thing about a person:

varies person to person

120: Fruits or vegetables?

i’m allergic to most fruits i like, but i like them more than vegetables anyways, so.

121: Something you want to do right now:

sleep or play bbs

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?

they’re both gorgeous, fuck off

123: Sweet or sour foods?

depends on the mood

124: Bright or dim lights?

dim, mostly

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?

me, i believe in me

126: Something you hate about Tumblr:

tumblr

127: Something you love about Tumblr:

friends

128: What do you think about the least?

i don’t think about it, i don’t know

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

believe it

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?

i have a list

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

not normally, no

133: Computer or TV?

computer

134: Do you like roller coasters?

yes

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?

only sometimes

136: Are your ears lobed or attached

attached

137: Do you believe in karma?

no, bad people don’t always get what’s coming to them and it sucks

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?

like 5?

139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

hate nicknames

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

nah

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

yeah, she sucked

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

it depends on the person???? i’m both

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

both are good!

144: What makes you angry

family

145: How many languages do you speak fluently?

none, i can’t speak

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

yes

147: Are you androgynous?

god i wish, my boobs are too big

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:

my hair is so fucking fluffy

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

i don’t have one

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

ciaran, i’m good.

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

BT: before trump

152: Do you like BuzzFeed?

no, but i’m on it all the time.

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]

i met my partner in being broke in high school

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

156: What embarrasses you?

i just told ciaran i wore camo in elementary school and that’s embarrassing

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

anxiety

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

idk i don’t keep track

159: How many people are you following?

451

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?

14199

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?

4190

163: Last time you cried and why:

i dont remember

164: Do you have long or short hair?

mid length

165: Longest your hair has ever been:

to my butt

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?

i was raised roman catholic by overbearing adults with racist views so im not friends w religion anymore

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

sometimes

169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?

#lunatroph

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b0stonmanor · 6 years ago

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since yall kept fuckin asking heres 1-155. Go ahead and see how fucking lame I actually am

1: Full name: Madison Lyn (I’m not putting my last name on the internet lmao)

2: Age:19

3: 3 Fears: heights, elevators, being alone for the rest of my life

4: 3 things I love: cats, coffee, sleeping

5: 4 turns on: (I’m gonna make it nonsexual okay): body mods, humor, good vibes, nice laugh

6: 4 turns off: (gonna make these nonsexual too): rude, nasty, conceited, takes days to reply lmao

7: My best friend: girl: @bohoangel guy: @bostonnanner

8: Sexual orientation: pansexual

9: My best first date: haven’t had a best one yet, need someone to change that lmao

10: How tall am I: 5′8

11: What do I miss: lots of things and people both too many too name

12: What time was I born: 2:06am

13: Favourite color: blue

14: Do I have a crush: still crushin on my last man

15: Favourite quote: either some vine or “I’m here for a good time not a long time” I have way too many favs

16: Favourite place: my room, best friends house, or beach house

17: Favourite food: buffalo chicken or alfredo

18: Do I use sarcasm: of course not

19: What am I listening to right now: music ;)

20: First thing I notice in new person: smile

21: Shoe size: no

22: Eye color: hazel

23: Hair color: naturally brunette currently red

24: Favourite style of clothing: gothic, pop punk or hippie/boho

25: Ever done a prank call?: I havent personally

27: Meaning behind my URL: I needed to change my url of 8 years and I wanted something short and easy to remember but I also wanted it to be a band so it would fit my blog and surprisingly this one wasnt taken

28: Favourite movie: I have way too many

29: Favourite song: again way too many

30: Favourite band: AGAIN way too many

31: How I feel right now: I feel fucking exhausted

32: Someone I love: okay now Im sad

33: My current relationship status: okay NOW Im crying but single

34: My relationship with my parents: welp my dads dead and my mom and I are okay

35: Favourite holiday: Halloween or Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing I have: no tattoos yet and I have my nose pierced and first and second holes pierced on my ears

37: Tattoos and piercing I want: too many

38: The reason I joined Tumblr: I was 12 that should be enough

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: No. In fact I could never hate him and I dont think I’ll love anyone like I did/do him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: eh sometimes

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? last text over imessage yes

42: When did I last hold hands?: I have no idea

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: I dont do anything really so not too long

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: dont out me

45: Where am I right now?: my room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: @bohoangel

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: both

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: mom

49: Am I excited for anything?: nah

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? @bostonnanner

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: eh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I mean idc but it’d just be fucking weird cause they’re kissing in front of me

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: plenty of people lmao

55: What is something I disliked about today?: I’ll do yesterday since today hasnt really happened. But it was fathers day and my heart was hurting so bad cause I miss my dad more than anything and really wish he was still here

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: my fuckin soulmate bitch

57: What do I think about most?: in all honesty, my ex

58: What’s my strangest talent?: I can do this smile thing that nobody else can do and it makes me look like a frog

59: Do I have any strange phobias?: probably

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: in front

61: What was the last lie I told?: that I was a child of God

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: video chatting but I dont mind either

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: fuck yes and fuck yes

64: Do I believe in magic?: I’m a god damn witch bitch

65: Do I believe in luck?: I believe in karma

66: What’s the weather like right now? according to my phone its currently clear and 61 degrees

67: What was the last book I’ve read?: I have no idea

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: eh

69: Do I have any nicknames? Maddie, Mad, Mads

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I had a staph infection in my foot that went back and forth across my foot and then up my leg (doctor said if my mom didn’t bring me when she did I would’ve died cause it would’ve gone to my heart)

71: Do I spend money or save it?: spend it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?: nope

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? ye

74: Favourite animal?: cats

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: I have no idea

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: oh shit I’ve never thought of this

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: good question

78: How can you win my heart?: Be Italian

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I honestly have no idea

80: What is my favorite word? bitch

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I get asked this way too much

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: probably some hippie bullshit

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: I’ve had relatives in jail but I dont think anyones in jail rn

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? theres too many lmao

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? probably if I’ve smoked or drank or have done anything bad but only if my mom was asking

86: What is my current desktop picture? its just basic

87: Had sex?: nah

88: Bought condoms?: nah

89: Gotten pregnant?: nah

90: Failed a class?: nah

91: Kissed a boy?: ye

92: Kissed a girl?: ye

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: nah

94: Had job?: ye

95: Left the house without my wallet?: ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?: nah

97: Had sex in public?: nah

98: Played on a sports team?: ye

99: Smoked weed?: ye

100: Did drugs?: nothing hardcore just smoking weed

101: Smoked cigarettes?: nah

102: Drank alcohol?: ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: I’ve tried

104: Been overweight?: no answer

105: Been underweight? also no answer

106: Been to a wedding?: ye

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: ye

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: ye

109: Been outside my home country?: nah

110: Gotten my heart broken?: of course

111: Been to a professional sports game?: ye

112: Broken a bone?: ye

113: Cut myself?: ye

114: Been to prom?: ye

115: Been in airplane?: ye

116: Fly by helicopter?: nah

117: What concerts have I been to?: pink, metallica/volbeat, warped tour 2016,2017,2018, jingle ball, some birthday bash, I cant remember if I’ve been to any other ones lmao

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: not entirely

119: Learned another language?: not fully

120: Wore make up?: ye

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: I’m a child of god

122: Had oral sex?: nah

123: Dyed my hair?: ye

124: Voted in a presidential election?: not yet

125: Rode in an ambulance?: couldve a couple times but my parents decided to drive me

126: Had a surgery?: nah

127: Met someone famous?: I guess?

128: Stalked someone on a social network?: who doesnt do this

129: Peed outside?: ye

130: Been fishing?: ye

131: Helped with charity?: I think so

132: Been rejected by a crush?: who doesnt get rejected

133: Broken a mirror?: probably

134: What do I want for birthday?: lots of things

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?: I have no idea

136: Was I named after anyone?: No but I have the same middle name as my aunt

137: Do I like my handwriting?: ye

138: What was my favorite toy as a child?: I have no idea

139: Favorite Tv Show?: American Horror Story, Bob’s Burgers, The Office, or Drunk History

140: Where do I want to live when older?: New Hampshire

141: Play any musical instrument?: I can play the violin and piano and can also sing but idk if that counts lmao

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?: its barely noticeable but literally right under my left eye (like right at the edge of my dark circle lmao) I got attacked by a dog and it bit me in the face and I had to get stitches but I bitched out and had it glued instead lmao

143: Favorite pizza topping? cheese

144: Am I afraid of the dark?: depends where I am

145: Am I afraid of heights?: ye

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?:nah

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: haha yeah

148: What I’m really bad at: everything

149: What my greatest achievements are: I fucking graduated from high school. Like I would never wish what I went through on anyone ever not even my worst enemy. It was worse than hell

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: I honestly dont remember

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: lots of stuff

152: What do I like about myself: my eyebrows

153: My closest Tumblr friend: I cant say @bohoangel cause I’ve known her since 5th grade so I’ll say @bostonnanner even though we met on omegle years ago lmao

154: Something I fantasize about: lots of things

155: Any question you’d like?: literally whatever anyone wants to know

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prairiechzhead · 7 years ago

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PrairieChzHead Rewatches Poldark S3 Legally--US Ep 4/UK Ep 5.

You know the drill. I revisit the answers I submitted to the @poldarkpodcast when they reviewed S3E5, which I submitted in this post. Then, I add more of my 2 cents. Sometimes, my opinions haven’t changed. Sometimes, they have changed. That’s the beauty of the rewatch.

I also like to add gifs and memes and stuff. Consider this post spoilery for the entire season, so if you haven’t watched the entire season when it aired in the UK this past summer, you may want to keep that in mind.

I also have the UK DVD for series 3. This episode has a commentary track. Getting a region free DVD player was one of the best decisions I ever made.

The answers and answers are after the jump.

What did you think of this week’s episode?

Loved it! I think it was the best one yet because of how it played with my emotions.

Still my favorite episode of the season--tied with the previous week’s episode.

Your favourite scene? Why?

The scene where we get to see Ross’s inner conflict between doing the right thing and being there for the people he cares about versus being reckless or being accused of being reckless. This scene shows this conflict by intercutting with him rowing harder and faster as the accusations of recklessness from those he let down play in his head. I think it also shows a lot of character growth on the part of Ross. Before, we’ve only heard him express regret when something went wrong, but we’ve never seen this conflict or doubt before the end result happened. I think it also shows how hard Henshawe’s death hit him and how he feels responsible for that.

Some people have argued that this was cheesy. However, I disagree. It was necessary to show this because it was the only way to convey a long passage from the novels of what was in Ross’s head to a TV audience. I also think it was necessary because before this, we weren’t necessarily privy to what was going on in Ross’s head or what he was thinking or feeling.

I’m currently binge-listening to the audio books for the Poldark series. (Audio books are a blessing on long car trips.) I’ve just finished Book 2 Demelza and I’ve started Book 3 Jeremy Poldark. The advantage the books have over the TV program is that Winston Graham lets us into the characters’ heads so we know what they are thinking at a specific time. We don’t get this on the show because it has to be shown, and given the time and budget constraints, it’s difficult for DH to include all of this. Because we don’t get to see this or know this, a character’s actions may be misconstrued by some people.

Ross has feelings. He doesn’t show them. But he thinks about them and the only way we get to see them on the show is if they show them to the audience.

I still love this scene and it is still my favorite.

Least favourite? Why?

Henshaw dying. I’m not thrilled that they killed off his character. I understand that it was done to show that he is loyal to Ross and he cares about the people around him. This loyalty and care for others extends to him even being willing to risk his life for them. Still there is a part of me that wishes that it was one of those no name actors who had to guard the boat that died.

I still hate that Henshaw died. Upon rewatching the season, they telegraphed this pretty loud and clear. I will miss you. #RIPHenshaw

Favourite new character? Why?

The toads. Because George hates them.

She’s not even a character in this show, but this is the first time that during the Weekly Twice Hourly Reading of the Donors, we got a cameo from Darlene Shiley, who adores Masterpiece so much, she donates enough scratch to be able to tell us herself how much she loves Masterpiece.

Least favourite new character? Why?

I’ve been holding off on this because I decided to wait until he actually was in a position to do something worthy of my scorn. My least favorite new character in this episode is Hugh Armitage. When he said to Demelza at the end that he intended to make the most of his freedom, my first thought was, “Oh, I bet you will, you homewrecker.” I’m watching you, Armitage.

I’m still watching you, Armitage. Like a hawk. Or a hawk with bifocals.

They’re telegraphing Lt. Armitage’s intentions rather loudly, aren’t they?

What made you cheer?

Technically, I did not cheer, unless you wish to expand the definition of cheering to include “ugly-crying”, but for me that moment was when Ross entered the room where Dwight was. I was gone after that.

Yassss! The bromance lives!

I did a mini-cheer whenever Elizabeth pushed back at George’s reaction over Valentine’s having rickets, his trying too hard to climb the social ladder, and George’s obsession with Ross over this MP rumor. It was nice to see her being assertive, and not sitting at her vanity, putting laudanum in her wine for most of her screen time.

This has not changed. I liked that she thinks some of these social events are dull and boring.

What made you want to throw things at the television/computer screen?

George. First, his disdain for Valentine having rickets. Really, George? He’s “the Warleggen Heir”? You’re so shallow that you think less of your son because he has a curable medical condition? Second, George’s insecurity over a RUMOR that Ross was running for MP and this “mission” to ruin Ross so he wouldn’t get elected. DUDE. GIVE IT A REST. The only things that made this bearable was how he completely embarrassed himself in front of Lord Falmouth, whom he was trying to impress, Elizabeth calling out George on making an ass out of himself (I loved that she was able to put him in his place), AND the crestfallen look on George’s face when he learned that one of the rescued prisoners was Lord Falmouth’s nephew, Hugh Armitage. I think it does a disservice to George’s character to ramp up his insecurities more than they are portrayed in the novels because it makes George look weak. Plus it looks worse when there is no moderating influence–such as George’s father in the books. George has weaknesses, and they can drive him to be petty and do petty things, but his weaknesses and his strengths are balanced in the books.

George’s obsession with Ross still bugs the crap out of me, but it’s tempered now because of something that will happen in the season finale. His obsession was amped up for the show in order to make the forthcoming scene in the final episode of S3 have more of a punch. His reaction to his son having rickets bothers me as a human being because I have a personal issue with parents rejecting children for things that are beyond the child’s control--like a curable medical condition such as rickets.

Although I was seriously gratified when Demelza basically owned George at that ball.

What was your performance of the week?

Aidan Turner. All the emotions he portrayed and so well. His performance is 95% of the reason why I was ugly-crying.

I was saving video of the scene which triggered most of my ugly-crying. Here it is.

youtube

Most favourite memory of Captain Henshawe #RIPHenshawe

The scene in season 2 when they struck tin and he broke his “no alcohol” rule.

My other favorite “Henshawe” moment is not from Poldark, but from Being Human, S1E6, where John Hollingsworth played a vampire who was harassing George Sands (played by Russell Tovey), who is a werewolf. Mitchell (Aidan Turner), also a vampire, showed up and saved George, even though vampires and werewolves hate each other. In a weird way that involves mental gymnastics, “Henshawe” was partially responsible for Mitchell and George meeting. And without their meeting, there would be no renting of the house in Bristol, no meeting Annie, and no Being Human. Without Being Human, there would not be the best (non-sexual) scene ever in the history of ever:

youtube

We owe this all to Henshawe. Bravo, sir! Bravo!

Any other observations you wish to share with us!

I really, really loved the song at the end at Henshawe’s memorial. That was so beautiful. The harmonies just gave me goosebumps.

I was scared they were going to cut this out. Seriously. I’m glad they didn’t.

I know that people are vocal in their hate on the Dwight/Caroline reunion on TV, but I didn’t mind it. The banter is so them. Those who feel these two characters have been short-shrifted so far in this series do have a valid point. I have this feeling that there is a reason for it. I have a feeling that they will get more airtime when the PTSD storyline gets underway.

Boy, was I ever wrong about the more airtime feeling. I think I had that confused with hot flashes. Or gas. Or acid reflux.

Yeah. It was acid reflux.

On the UK DVD, this is one of the two episodes that have a commentary track. Aidan Turner and Sean Gilder (Tholly) are doing the commentary. There was a moment at the end of the episode when Dwight, who has scurvy, and Caroline were reunited and were kissing and all those things that people who are reunited do. Aidan pipes up at that moment and asks “Is scurvy contagious?” And I’m over here sitting in my favorite chair laughing my ass off at this. It was one of a few perfectly timed funny lines in the commentary track.

Hopefully, the US DVD release won’t cheat us out of a commentary track like they did with Season 2. Being cheated out of a commentary track is my main motivation behind buying a region free Blu-Ray player.

There was another moment that I didn’t catch the first time around. There was a moment that kind of made me laugh and it was when Reverend Whitworth gave George the side-eye when discussing a rumor about Ross being a candidate for MP.

How do the British get “leftenent” out of the word “lieutenant”? I’ve always wondered this.

I’m not going to list all the edits because as I type this part, my sinuses are killing me and I just want to watch the episode and not worry about what got cut. Most of them are a second or two here and a second or two there, anyway, so the episode as a whole feels choppy. The cuts don’t matter to me because I have the DVD.

So if you don’t like that they had to edit the broadcast version, get the DVDs.

Well, that’s all for this week. Next week, toads. Lots of toads. Lots and lots and lots of toads. So many toads, you might even get warts.

#poldark #poldark s3 #poldark s3 spoilers #prairiechzhead watches poldark

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skiasurveys · 7 years ago

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old myspace surveyyy

1. Last beverage: Iced tea

2. Last phone call: My mom i believe

3. Last song you listened to: Closer- the chainsmokers ft halsey

4. Last time you cried: today

5. Have you dated someone twice: kind of. my current boyfriend and i dated before but it was only like 2 weeks and then we didnt date again til 5 months later, and now were still together which has been 15 months. i dont really consider he first time an actual relationship lmao

6. Have you ever been cheated on: Not that I am aware of.

7. Kissed someone & regretted it: eh, my first kiss was awful

8. Have you lost someone special: yeah my dad died.

9. What are your three favorite colors: lilac, cyan, pink

10. Met someone who changed you in the past month: not in the past month

11. Kissed anyone on your friends list: yeah

12. How many kids do you want: none.

13. Do you want any pets: i have two cats

14. Do you want to change your name: yeah i do

15. What did you do for your last birthday: Had dinner with my boyfriends parents, then had a small party with a few friends and my boyfriend, but that was it. Wasnt so lit.

16. What time did you wake up today: i woke up at 10 am i think

17. Name something you CANNOT wait for: to finally move out

18. Last time you saw your mother: um. like 10 minutes ago lol

19. Most visited webpage: youtube

20. Nicknames: Jen, Babygirl, i dont really have nicknames that much

21. Relationship status: Taken

22. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

23. Male or female: female

24. Height: 5′1

25. Do you have a crush on someone: my boyfriend

26. Piercings: I got my ears pierced when i was 18 but i took it out apparently too soon and they shut. I am going to get them redone but im just lazy

27. Tattoos: none as of now

28. Strong or Weak: physically or emotionally..haha..

FIRSTS

29. First surgery: wisdom teeth

30. First best friend: Eric or Reis

31. First sport you joined: softball when i was 7/8

32. First vacation: British columbia when i was 4/5

33. First school: Joseph welsh

34. First pair of trainers: If trainers you mean shoes but in a british lingo..uhh i dont know. DC shoes? those ugly fat skater shoes.

WHICH IS BETTER

35. Lips or eyes: eyes

36. Hugs or kisses: honestly both, but idk it depends. sometimes i love hugs because i like feeling him hold me and against me , but kisses are so sweet

37. Shorter or taller: taller

38. Older or younger: older

39. Romantic or spontaneous: both

40. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive.

41. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship.

42. Shy or outgoing: a bit of both. im really outgoing so in a relationship it doesnt matter for me. but i dont really like people who cant make conversations at all..

HAVE YOU EVER

43. Kissed a stranger: I dont think so.

44. Gotten a speeding ticket: No

45. Lost glasses/contacts: i dont wear glasses or contacts

46. Sex on first date: nope. but oral sex yeah.

47. Broken someone’s heart: i have but whatever.

48. Been arrested: No

49. Have you turned someone down: yeah but thats cause this dude wouldnt stop trying to date me and the funny part is he didnt even live in the same fucking city as me so idk why he kept trying so hard. I also had a dude back in highschool who i still chat with try to date me but ive turned him down couple of times but he knows now.

50. Fallen for a friend: not really.

51. Moved out of town: no

BELIEVE IN

52. Miracles: ehhh

53. Love at first sight: no. but i mean i know when i first met my boyfriend i was like oh hell yeah. but its not love.

54. Heaven: yeah

55. Santa Claus: no and never have.

56. Kiss on the first date: sure. ive done it. idk how you cant believe in a kiss?? lmao

57. Angels: yeah

58. Yourself: no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY

59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no.

60. Been in love with someone you couldn’t be with?: yeah but not “in love”.

61. Ever cheated on somebody: No i am not a cunt.

62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: i would love to relive my first date with Connor, i dont know why. i wouldnt change anything but that day was really awesome.

63. Are you afraid of falling in love: No.

64. Was your last relationship a mistake? well i guess, since i am in a different one right? it wasnt a mistake per-say but he was a waste of time.

65. Do you miss your last relationship? god no.

66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?

connor, the other day <3

67. Have you ever been depressed? yeah i have depression.

68. Are you insecure? yeah but im getting better.

69. How do you want to die? in my bed, while asleep.

70. Do you bite your nails? lol i am currently.

71. When was your last physical fight? Ive never really had one.

72. Do you have an attitude? yeah. i can have one.

73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti? twirl if i ever eat it. i hate spaghetti. Connor loves it though..

74. Do you tan a lot? eh no

75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving? yeah usually while on a trip

76. Ever made out in a bathroom? yeah.

77. Would you take any of your exes back? Not at all! Barf.

78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? depends on the time.

79. What are your plans for this weekend? it is the weekend currently, nothing is planned.

80. Do you type fast? yeah

81. Can you spell well? i think i do.

82: What are you craving right now? nothing actually.

83. Have you ever been on a horse? yeah a few times.

84. Would you live with someone without marrying them? yeah my boyfriend lmao

85. What’s irritating you right now? my dry skin atm.

86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts? yeah.

87. Does somebody love you? yeah my man does. lmao

88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car? a few times

89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate? milk. white chocolate is nasty

90. Do you have trust issues? i kind of do.

91. Longest relationship? my one i am in currently which so far is a one year and 3 months

92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you? i am sure he thinks about me every so often, i mean i sometimes think about them for no reason and not the “i miss you” thinking just like something reminds me of them or whatver. Im sure they think of me sometime. i dont really care lol

93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs? yah lol

94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? no

95. Did you have dream last night? yeah i dont remember it anymore

96. Have you ever been out of state? yeah

97. Do you play the Wii? eh not anymore. i dont like the wii or the wii u, i tried to like the nintendo products but i am more into Playstation ;)

98. Do you like Chinese food? i do

99. Are you afraid of the dark? sometimes

100. Is cheating ever okay? No.

101. What year has been your best? 2015 so far and 2016 wasnt really so bad.

102. Do you believe in true love? yeah i guess

103. Favorite weather? fall weather. where its warm but kind of cloudy, where you can wear whatever you want and you wont be too cold or too warm.

104. Do you like the snow? NO

105. Do you like the outside? yeah i do.

106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? yeah i like when connor does

107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight? yes

108. What makes you happy? cats

109. Ever been to Alaska? no

110. Ever been to Hawaii? no

111. Do you watch the news? usually like to keep an eye on whats happening with the world. like now.

112. Do you love MTV? no

113. Do you like subway? yeah but its not my fav anymore. but i do crave it randomly

114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? no lol were dating.

115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? well my best friend of the opposite sex is my boyfriend..so...

116. Why did you decide to do this quiz? im bored

117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them? yeah actually one time my mom and i were shopping and we saw this crazy lady that we know. and so we kept avoiding here while we were grocery shopping and we actually got away lol thank god. she is so annoying. When my dad died she told my mom she had to get rid of his pictures. like mcfuck off.

118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? yeah a few

119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? connor

120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Jennifer

121. Ever bought condoms? no. we dont use condoms

122. Ever gotten pregnant? No. thank god

123. Have you ever slipped on ice? im sure

124 Have you ever missed the bus? yeah

125. Have you left the house without money? i have once. i was working too and on my break i was heading to get food and then i realized i forgot my wallet. -___-

126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes? no. just weed.

127. Have you ever smoked a cigar? no

128. Did you ever drink alcohol? yeah of course.

129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”? yes. one of my favs

130. Have you ever been overweight? last year i went on medication that made me gain 20 pounds, but i lost all that weight now thank god. I wasnt over weight but i was kind of chubby. Im back to my skinny-self thank god!

131. Ever been to a wedding? yeah

132. Ever been in a wedding? yeah my cousin got married in 2013 and asked my sister and i to be apart of it. worst idea ever. We werent really apart of it. she had her friends in it and my sister and i were just kind of the side bridemaids..yah weird.

133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight? yeah back when i didnt have an ipad or iphone.

134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight? i sometimes binge netflix when im with my boyfriend

135. Ever kissed in the rain? no

136. Did you ever shower with someone else? yeah i have with my boyfriend. it was really intimate lol

137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test? i have only ever failed the written exam where they ask you all that stupid shit and you have to remember speed and signs. but my actualy drivig test, i passed first try!

138. Ever been outside your home country? yeah to canada

139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours? yeah we used to drive to vancouver or south BC which would take 13 hours.

140. Ever been to a professional sports game? NO

141. Have you ever broken a bone? no surprisingly i havent. even though i got hit by a car..

142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life? no :(

143. Ever get engaged? no

144. Have you ever been on a diet? kind of.

145. Have you ever been on TV? kind of. not really.

146. Ever ridden in a taxi? yeah. with my boyfriend, its really awkward and weird...

147. Ever been to prom? we dont have prom here in canada but we do get dressed up in nice dresses and have dinner and a dance, but not prom. But yeah i did go.

148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more? yeah i think 2 days

149 Have you ever been to a concert? yeah. my first was...Jonas brothers...BARFFF. thanks 12 year old me -.-

150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work? i did have a little crush on the security guard. but not a big crush.

151. Have you ever been in a car accident? i got hit by a car

152. Ever had braces? yeah from 12-14. (gr.6-8)

153. Did you ever learn another language? i tried french. but i cant speak it. i gave up. I wish i could learn something different.

154. Do you wear make-up? yeah.

155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out? yeah when i was 18 i got put completely out and had surgery to get them out.

156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself? yeah.

157. Ever dyed your hair? yeah ive dyed it reddish, darker brown, fire ombre (look it up it was awesome), blonde, ash blonde, blonde with purple tips and then now i just dyed it back to brown which is its natural colour. i like it blonde but im starting to like it back at its natural state.

158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes? yeah ive worn my sisters clothes

159. Ever ridden in an ambulance? no

160. Ever ridden in a helicopter? no

161. Ever caught the stove on fire? no

162. Ever meet someone famous? no

163. Ever been on an airplane? yeah i was only on a plane from here (canada) to california and back. but thats it. my first time it was really nerve-racking, but on the way back it was chill. i dont like being that high up lol

164. Ever been on a boat? yeah a few times. its kay

165. Ever broken something expensive? no

166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14? no. my first actual kiss wasnt til i was 18..lol

167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground? yeah my fucking life.

#long #survey #myspace survey #surveys

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2-d-ents · 7 years ago

Note

1-100 >:)

DAMN WEL THANK U OMG this is going under a read more after some bc damn this is a lot i love u thank u

1. the meaning behind my url

2d! stuart pot! 2 dents in his wee head!

2. a picture of me

the face behind the mask of tons of pics of 2d and noodle

3. how many tattoos i have and what they are:

none :( my parents wont help me pay for college if i get any facial piercings or tattoos, so i’m being patient. i’ve got a jar full of coins that i’ll some day exchange for money and use that for tattoo funds!

4. last time i cried and why

yesterday night after telling my dad i can’t come up with the money in time to pay my medical bill lol

5. piercings i have

just my ears i’m so boring lol

6. favorite band

i really like the band SALES, they are very calming. but i also like gorillaz (obviously), lullatone, K.I.D, best coast, the smiths, and the velvet underground

7. biggest turn offs

shoes???? this sounds stupid and idk why i do this but i dislike wearing tennis shoes on the daily. on a lighter and more understandable note i dislike people who are full of themselves even in the slightest? confidence is like really important and is completely different that conceitedness.

8. top 5 (insert subject)

i’m doing gorillaz songs bc why not.

faust

slow country

out of body

el manana

on melancholy hill

9. tattoos i want

already answered!

10. biggest turn ons

LEGS. like nice legs. idk what kind they are (short, skinny, plumpy, long) they are just GOOD u know u look at them and ur like GOOD. they are just aesthetically pleasing sometimes i guess more of like nice for the eye than a turn on. i like choking. ngl.

11. age

i’m 19, 20 in february next year!

12. ideas for a perfect date

planning one now actually! in october i have my one year with my boyfriend so we’re going to rent a hotel in chicago and go around the city for shopping, museums, and plays!

13. life goal

already answered!

14. piercings i want

MY SEPTUM

15. relationship status

dating a really weird hippie kinda dude named jacob lol

16. favorite movie

already answered!

17. a fact about my life

i weirdly own a lot of things with stitch from lilo and stitch on them and gudetama. i told my aunt when i was like 5 that i liked stitch and for some reason in japan there is a lot of stitch stuff like notepads and water bottles. same with gudetama. she just won’t stop sending them.

18. phobia

already answered!

19. middle name

maura. lol. my mom is mad all her kids have middle names bc japanese people don’t have them

20. height

5 foot 2. i’m sadly kinda short.

21. are you a virgin?

nope

22. what’s your shoe size?

women’s size 5!

23. what’s your sexual orientation?

already answered!

24. do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs?

occasionally drink beers with just my dad, not too much of a party drinker

25. someone you miss

my sorta grandma in japan who passed away recently. my real grandma died before i was born so this lady is my mom’s sister’s husband’s mom but she lived with my aunt so i saw her a lot. she like to make lots and lots of crafts and give them to me!

26. what’s one thing you regret?

spending so much money before i found out i had to pay a 400 dollar medical bill lol

27. first celebrity you think of when someone says attractive

already answered!

28. favorite ice cream?

already answered!

29. one insecurity

my thighs :(

30. what my last text message says

“then stop textin bihhh!!!” to my sister when she said “stop distracting me”

31. have you ever taken a picture naked?

no, but someone has taken a picture of me naked lol

32. have you ever pained your room?

not myself no :(

33. have you ever kissed a member of the same sex?

yes!

34. have you ever slept naked?

only after sex so like, napping

35. have you ever danced in front of your mirror?

all the time omg all the time

36. have you ever had a crush?

duh? i am dating boy

37. have you ever been dumped?

like once or twice, i doubt three times.

38. have you ever stole money from a friend?

i think accidentally once? she left 20 in my car and i thought it was mine but i’m pretty sure thinking back on it it was hers but i hate her now so yeah that 20 got spent on a good trip to the cinema

39. have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?

too many times this month to count

40. have you ever been in a fist fight?

thank god no. i would lose so fast

41. have you ever snuck out of your house?

surprisingly no? my parents never ask where i’m going and never really have all my life. i would walk to taco bell in middle school at like three in the morning at times and in the morning they would be like “oi how was the quesadilla”

42. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

now what kind of person would i be if i went through 13 years of general schooling and didn’t have an unrequited love?

43. have you ever been arrested?

nope! never plan to be lol

44. have you ever made out with a stranger?

NOPE NEVER WANT TO

45. have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere?

this is a vague question that i feel is meant to be like shocking. yeah, i met up with me boyfriend at subway earlier does that answer the question

46. have you ever left your house without telling your parents?

like. every single day lol they don’t seem to care

47. have you ever had a crush on your neighbor?

nah all my neighbors are antisocial

48. have you ever ditched school to do something more fun?

in senior year i left school in the first hour to drive to canada and drink the day away with friends

49. have you ever slept in the same back with a member of the same sex?

another question that’s meant to be shocking. i slept in my sisters bed last night

50. have you ever seen someone die?

no but does a cat count

51. have you ever been on a plane?

too many times

52. have you ever kissed a picture?

i swear i have but i can’t recall of when or of what

53. have you ever slept until 3?

yeah, even 5

54. do you love someone or miss someone right now?

my boyfriend i suppose? i’m used to technically living together and sleeping in the same bed every night so yeah i miss him right now

55. have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?

it’s a game called “find the dick in the sky”

56. have you ever made a snow angel?

when i was really young i only remember bc we have pictures

57. have you ever played dress up?

i was a tom boy when i was younger so no

58. have you ever cheated while playing a game

THIS MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY WHO HASNT

59. have you ever been lonely?

what kind of question is this of course i have felt a basic human emotion

60. have you ever fall asleep at school/work?

only at school never at work

61. have you ever been to a club?

no, i don’t really party

62. have you ever felt an earthquake?

yeah, living in japan makes you like never worry about them lol

63. have you ever touched a snake?

get that away from me its cute to look at but no way

64. have you ever run a read light?

only by accident

65. have you ever been suspended from school?

almost once but no

66. have you ever had detention?

saturday detention for dress code once

67. have you ever been in a car accident?

only when others are driving

68. have you ever hated the way you look?

all the time?

69. have you ever witnessed a crime?

i used to sit on the arm of my dad’s computer chair while he used to burn dvds we rented

70. have you ever pole danced?

ONCE there was one in my friends apartment and i gave it a whirl i love it

71. have you ever been lost?

my sister hates relying on technology so once it took us an hour and a half to get home from something that was only 20 minutes away

72. have you ever been to the opposite side of the country?

yep! went to nevada and arizona once.

73. have you ever felt like dying?

can we not lol but yeah

74. have you ever cried yourself to sleep?

what teenage girl doesn’t

75. have you ever sang karaoke?

its a big thing in japan so definitely!

76. have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldnt?

duhhhhh one of those things was to never have sex

77. have you ever laughed until something came out of your nose?

yeah its uncomfortable dont do it

78. have you ever slept with someone 5 years older or younger?

no no no no ew

79. have you ever kissed in the rain?

yeah! not too special there are better places to kiss.

80. have you ever sang in the shower?

i used to a lot, never anymore

81. have you ever made out in a park?

no :(

82. have you ever dreamed you married someone?

ugh i hate those dreams so much

83. have you ever glued your hand to something?

yes :(

84. have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flagpole?

nope! that’s gross!

85. have you ever gone to school partially naked?

is this a crack at dress code lmao

86. have you ever been a cheerleader?

nope and im ok with it

87. have you ever sat on a rooftop?

when i was little my pal let us climb on her roof and was like “i do it all the time”!!1 and then someone called the cops on us

88. have you ever brush your teeth?

what

89. have you ever been too scared to watch a scary movie alone?

every single one? i am a wuss

90. have you ever played chicken?

YEAH THAT WAS MY CHILDHOOD

91. have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?

no and good because that means people are considerate about your phone being on you lol

92. have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger?

one time outside a mac demarco concert a pimp would actually not leave me alone and kept asking me to become one of his girls so i guess so? his name was papa schoolboy and he made me take pictures with him on my phone

93. have you ever broken a bone?

NO AND I NEVER WANT TO

94. have you ever been easily amused?

… all the time?

95. have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

yes

96. have you ever mooned/flashed someone?

only my friends mom because she flashed me

97. have you ever cheated on at test?

in high school yes

98. have you ever forgotten someone’s name?

okay who doesnt wtf

99. have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real?

mac demarco

100. give us one thing about you no one knows

but if i give it someone knows

#ask #about me

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shovelthefries · 7 years ago

Note

🅰️ll 🅾️f theⓂ️

1: Namealex2: Agetwenty one pilots minus three3: 3 Fearshaving to install ubunturunning out of gaseverything on my hard drive getting corrupted, because that would mean reinstalling ubuntu 4: 3 things I lovedogs, drones, and bikes!5: 4 turns onconfidence, really good hair, a ticket to PyCon 2018, mccree6: 4 turns offwhen someone presses the power button again, all four of them7: My best friendhigh exarch turalyon8: Sexual orientationbi(cycle)9: My best first datewhat counts as a date10: How tall am Ifive even, i'm pretty useful in the home depot lumber section11: What do I missbeing in the robotics shop12: What time were I born6:12 pm, an unholy number 13: Favorite colorbloo14: Do I have a crushi think so 15: Favorite quote"everything dies, baby that's a factbut maybe everything that dies some day comes back"16: Favorite placeanywhere that i can pass out on17: Favorite foodnoodles, but also i had a really good brisket sandwich at my dad's place today it was like a healthy burger18: Do I use sarcasmno not at all19: What am I listening to right nowatlantic city by bruce springsteen the boss20: First thing I notice in new personif i can take them in a fight 21: Shoe sizesix but if you pay me, i can go up to a twelve 22: Eye colorbrown, apparently one that is abnormal for asians23: Hair colormidnight caramel24: Favorite style of clothingmessy, it's actually the new fad25: Ever done a prank call?no because i lose my shit in the first five seconds27: Meaning behind my URLits what i called the cheval de fries defense in 2016 because I'm Funny28: Favorite movieterminator 2 probably29: Favorite songthunder road but if it wasn't springsteen i'd probably say wish you were here/the final cut by pink floyd or read my mind by the killers. but listen that's like making me choose between my children30: Favorite banduGH what did I just say, pink floyd is up there i guess31: How I feel right nowtired, headachey, racing against hypothetical julia in answering this ask32: Someone I lovealleria windrunner33: My current relationship statustaken like bacon34: My relationship with my parentsits gotten better for sure35: Favorite holidayfourth of july because its warm36: Tattoos and piercing i havei'm bare and unstabbed37: Tattoos and piercing i wanti probably want a tattoo but idk what38: The reason I joined Tumblrprobably pjo fanart39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?well i certainly don't hate them40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?i get steaks, uchicago kid tells me good night after his last lame bot game of league41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?don't think i've kissed joseph42: When did I last hold hands?today, a few hours ago43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?not long if you don't count actually getting up44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?what is hair45: Where am I right now?my bed46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?either emma or art major au hanzo 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?well i like having working eardrums 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?hell yeah i do49: Am I excited for anything?really excited to go to work and have no one be there tomorrow50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?yeah 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?i'm always wearing a fake smile52: When was the last time I hugged someone?probably today53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?depends on the situation 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?probably not i'd cut it off by now55: What is something I disliked about today?the rain was being a dickhole56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?i think we already know the answer57: What do I think about most?what i should be doing58: What’s my strangest talent?i have no talents 59: Do I have any strange phobias?yeah 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?i prefer to eat the camera61: What was the last lie I told?"dark souls is a good game"62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?i hear carrier pigeons are making a comeback63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?ghosts? possible. aliens? yeah.64: Do I believe in magic?yeah i exist65: Do I believe in luck?no but my moms superstitions has made me paranoid of it66: What's the weather like right now?shitty and wet 67: What was the last book I've read?inheritance, again68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?not really69: Do I have any nicknames?alex is a particularly infamous one70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?either when i burned myself or when i found out my ubuntu installation didn't come with backlights71: Do I spend money or save it?hmmmmmm72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?i can touch my lip with my tongue 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?yeah there's my pink work shirt74: Favorite animal?tiger75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?probably vacuuming76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Adobe Experience Manager77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?born to run 78: How can you win my heart?tolerate me79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?"please rez me"80: What is my favorite word?pachyderm81: My top 5 blogs on tumblruh i dont even know the blog names anymore 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?good night i am sleepy83: Do I have any relatives in jail?probably some in china84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?flying like a stealth drone, so that i go at supersonic speeds and i'm also invisible85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?"have you been giving it your all"86: What is my current desktop picture?an alliance human and an orc duking it out87: Had sex?ye88: Bought condoms?no89: Gotten pregnant?pregnant with my dreams!!90: Failed a class?not officially91: Kissed a boy?almost92: Kissed a girl?i believe so93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?its happened i think94: Had job?many job95: Left the house without my wallet?not recently since i got my license96: Bullied someone on the internet?i don't have the time for that97: Had sex in public?nope98: Played on a sports team?robotics is a SPORT FOR THE MIND99: Smoked weed?first where would i get it100: Did drugs?nop101: Smoked cigarettes?n o p102: Drank alcohol?the ask meme got me there, yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?i don't think i could live104: Been overweight?no105: Been underweight?yeah 106: Been to a wedding?no 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?try ten hours108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?hm no109: Been outside my home country?yes #worldtraveler110: Gotten my heart broken?when the assassins creed revelations trailer came out and it ends with ezio's aged face being revealed i started crying111: Been to a professional sports game?that's too much112: Broken a bone?the bone that held my happiness113: Cut myself?nopee114: Been to prom?i had a date with my calculus workbook 115: Been in airplane?yes unfortunately 116: Fly by helicopter?no but it will happen117: What concerts have I been to?none concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?hm idk119: Learned another language?yeah technically 120: Wore make up?i prefer my ugly vanilla look thank you very much121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?i guess yeah 122: Had oral sex?never performed it 123: Dyed my hair?like a phoenix, and then a passionate robotics member124: Voted in a presidential election?i was basically a baby in the eyes of the law before i could125: Rode in an ambulance?noooo126: Had a surgery?once as a baby, now as a mature adult who needed their wisdom teeth taken out127: Met someone famous?hell ye128: Stalked someone on a social network?nichols before i became friends with him129: Peed outside?very likely130: Been fishing?yeah it was fun131: Helped with charity?yeeee132: Been rejected by a crush?this implies that i take initiative133: Broken a mirror?twice due to somersaults134: What do I want for birthday?a cd with all my spotify music burned onto it

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haunted-alien · 7 years ago

Text

so i did an ask reblog and @lamentedandmalcontented has requested for me to do all of them. and as they know, i never back down from a challenge. NEVER. (lmao) so let’s do this!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Seen My Man(Trixie Mattel), Mr. Know It All(Young the Giant), The Calender(Panic! at the Disco), Somebody to Love(Queen), That’s Life(Frank Sinatra), Monster(Kayne West ft. Nicki Minaj)

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Michlle Obama

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. “Wings, and no eyes, figure unheedy haste”

4: What do you think about most? death lmao

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? “Do we need coffee creamer do you know”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? with

7: What’s your strangest talent? im not sure. im pretty boring lol

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? nope

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar? i cant even remember

11: Do you have any strange phobias? not any strange ones

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? yes....

13: What’s your religion? prefer not to say

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? probably relaxing with a cup of coffee

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? behind :)

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? i cant answer this

17: What was the last lie you told? yeah im doing great

18: Do you believe in karma? yes

19: What does your URL mean? it is pretty self explanitory. spooky extra terrestrials

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? weakness: my emotions. strength: willpower

21: Who is your celebrity crush? kate mckinnon

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? nope

23: How do you vent your anger? internalize that shit

24: Do you have a collection of anything? gems and healing stones!

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? video chatting

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become? yes and im excited to see where i go

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? love: mechanical keyboards and acoustic guitar. hate: racism

28: What’s your biggest “what if”? what if i just died?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes and yes

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. right: my monitor, left: my glass of water

31: Smell the air. What do you smell? my seaside candle

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to? the inside of a heroins addicts house

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? east coast

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? brenden urie

35: To you, what is the meaning of life? 42

36: Define Art. complicated and subjective

37: Do you believe in luck? kind of?

38: What’s the weather like right now? cloudy with a chance of rain

39: What time is it? it is 7:33pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? i do drive and i have never crashed

41: What was the last book you read? a midsummer’s night dream

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? i do

43: Do you have any nicknames? alien

44: What was the last film you saw? i believe it was moana

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? i skinned my face

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly? yes :)

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? d&d

48: What’s your sexual orientation? bisexual

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? many times

50: Do you believe in magic? in a way

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? i try not too but i can be pretty petty

52: What is your astrological sign? scorpio

53: Do you save money or spend it? save

54: What’s the last thing you purchased? my new computer!

55: Love or lust? love

56: In a relationship? no....

57: How many relationships have you had? one

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no, i wish

59: Where were you yesterday? i was home

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? some pink running shoes

61: Are you wearing socks right now? yup

62: What’s your favourite animal? orangutans

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? sarcasm i suppose

64: Where is your best friend? at their home

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr. @maryarty @bestbewaremysting @hammertimeinthegrill420 @yourlocalvodkaaunt @thatsthat24

66: What is your heritage? Irish, Italian, and Slovakian

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? watchin youtube i think

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name? i think that is his last name

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? .......

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? im honestly not sure

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? save the dog

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? a)no, just tell the people that should know b) try to settle my life and worries c) i dont think so

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. trust

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? seen my man by trixie mattel

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 0844

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? love, trust, humor

77: How can I win your heart? be nice to me and like me back

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? yes but also getting the help you need is more important

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? talking to the pretty girl who gave a presentation on fanfiction

80: What size shoes do you wear? 9

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone? “i wanted to be cremated you twits”

82: What is your favourite word? soft

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. beat

84: What is a saying you say a lot? “fuck” “fcuking shit”

85: What’s the last song you listened to? currently listening to told you so by paramore

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours? black, white, blue

87: What is your current desktop picture? kermit the frog

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? kim jong un

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? if *that person* asked if i liked them

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? panic, wonder where the hell they came from

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? honestly i feel like the most practical is endless money

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? prom with *that person*

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? being locked in my room while my parents screamed at each other for hours

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? probably lana del rey

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? london

96: Do you have any relatives in jail? yes

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car? yes many times

98: Ever been on a plane? yup

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? please just be kind to one another and please just listen to each other. if everyone actually listened, we would be in a much better place

my goodness that was a lot! if any of you suffered through that, hi :) anyway that is them all!

#asks #haunted-alien

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embur · 7 years ago

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all evens 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i'm just doing them all bc i don't feel like deleting every other question on mobile (too difficult imo)1: How tall or short do you wish you were?like 5'2-4" 2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)nice cat 3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?v lazy n comfortable 4: What was your favorite video game growing up?honestly i have no clue what games i played or what i did for fun At All until the age of 9 so imma go w that game: wow 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:idk i only ever think abt what's immediately pertaining to me 6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?idk 7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?no person 8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]idk 9: Are you ticklish?ya 10: Are you allergic to anything?Dust and Dogs and Cats 11: What’s your sexuality?lèsbian 12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?cocoa 13: Are you a cat or dog person?idk imma say cat even though i never had one 14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?elf, they seem the normalest n i don't wanna change into the other 2 15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?cārlsāgān42 minus the -'s 16: How tall are you?5'8-9" 17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?i already changed it to colleen so idk that was all my creativity 18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]like 200 + tax 19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?sure 20: Do you like space or the ocean more?space 21: Are you religious?idk 22: Pet peeves?my mom 23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?diurnal bc that's what everything is based off of for hyumans 24: Favorite constellation?idk 25: Favorite star?idk 26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?not if they he creepy ones 27: Any phobias or fears?bugs, trýpóphóbíá, loud people esp men 28: Do you think global warming is real?ya i don't have to Think it though 29: Do you believe in reincarnation?i hope it happens but idk 30: Favorite movie?imma say wreck it ralph 31: Do you get scared easily?ya 32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?2 dogs but they died 33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]99999999/10 34: What is a color that calms you?pastel colors idk 35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?everywhere for both of possible 36: Where were you born?gretna 37: What is your eye color?grayish 38: Introvert or extrovert?introvert 39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?sure 40: Hugs or kisses?hugs 41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?christina 42: Who is someone you love deeply?christina 43: Any piercings you want?some on ears, maybe something more idk 44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?piercings mainly 45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?no 46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!nice 47: What is a sound you really hate?my moms bfs dog whining at my door when i didn't ask to be left home alone w her 48: A sound you really love?silence 49: Can you do a backflip?into/in a pool ya 50: Can you do the splits?nope 51: Favorite actor and/or actress?idk 52: Favorite movie?wreck it ralph didn't they alrdy ask this 53: How are you feeling right now?kinda bad as usual 54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?a darker brown 55: When did you feel happiest?idk 56: Something that calms you down?asmr videos 57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]idk What but imma say yes, at the least i know i got depression 58: What does your URL mean?i like it bc it's short 59: What three words describe you the most?bad bad bad 60: Do you believe in evolution?don't have to 61: What makes you unfollow a blog?almost anything 62: What makes you follow a blog?a lot of people i follow follow it 63: Favorite kind of person:nice 64: Favorite animal(s):cat dog idk 65: Name three of your favorite blogs.idk 66: Favorite emoticon:💕 67: Favorite meme:idk specifically 68: What is your MBTI personality type?intj 69: What is your star sign?capricorn 70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?no 71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?t shirt n gym shorts 72: Post a selfie or two?nei takk 73: Do you have platform shoes?nope 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?i have no life 75: Can you do a front flip?on a trampoline or into/in a pool 76: Do you like birds?sure 77: Do you like to swim?sure 78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?swimming 79: Something you wish didn’t exist:evil 80: Some thing you wish did exist:more goodness 81: Piercings you have?none 82: Something you really enjoy doing:laying down 83: Favorite person to talk to:idk abt picking favorites between friends feels bad 84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?sux 85: How many followers do you have?23 86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?ya 87: Do your socks always match?ya 88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?ya 89: What are your birthstones?blue topaz 90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?human 91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?idk 92: A store you hate?costco, i never been there but it feels Wrong 93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?as many as i'm given idk 94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?fly 95: Do you like to wear camo?No. 96: Winter or summer?winter bc it doesn't get That cold here n all the bugs die 97: How long can you hold your breath for?idk i rarely test that 98: Least favorite person?my dad i guess 99: Someone you look up to:anyone who's taller than me 100: A store you love?idk 101: Favorite type of shoescrocs 102: Where do you live?nèw òrlèàns 103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?no 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?alexandrite 105: Do you drink milk?ya 106: Do you like bugs?No. 107: Do you like spiders?No. 108: Something you get paranoid about?if i'm a bad person 109: Can you draw:yes, but def not well 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?idk 111: A question you hate being asked?idk 112: Ever been bitten by a spider?nope 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?not particularly 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?cloudy 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:christina 116: Favorite cloud type:i can't remember the name but the puffy ones 117: What color do you wish the sky was?the same color as now 118: Do you have freckles?i guess 119: Favorite thing about a person:how nice they are 120: Fruits or vegetables?neither bc i'm unhealthy but fruits of i had to 121: Something you want to do right now:i'm not gonna put that on here 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?sky 123: Sweet or sour foods?sweet 124: Bright or dim lights?dim 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?idk 126: Something you hate about Tumblr:everything 127: Something you love about Tumblr:mine friends 128: What do you think about the least?idk i barely honk abt whatever it is 129: What would you want written on your tombstone?rest in peace 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?myself 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?being trąns and lęsbįąn, or i guess i'm Made to hate myself for those things 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?ya 133: Computer or TV?computer 134: Do you like roller coasters?sure 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?ya 136: Are your ears lobed or attached?lobed 137: Do you believe in karma?idk 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?1 or 2 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?collie 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?i dont think so 141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?ya 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?i hope good but idk 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?both 144: What makes you angrya lot 145: How many languages do you speak fluently?one 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?girls 147: Are you androgynous?i would rather be 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:nothing 149: Favorite thing about your personality:nothing 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.trent stephanie christina 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?this one? 152: Do you like BuzzFeed?no idk 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?i think head kiss is better 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?ya but more so them playing w my hair 156: What embarrasses you?everything 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:everything 158: Biggest lie you have ever told:idk 159: How many people are you following?156 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?idk 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?105 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?idk 163: Last time you cried and why:i don't remember when/why 164: Do you have long or short hair?long for a boy short for a girl 165: Longest your hair has ever been:however long it is now 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?idk 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?no 168: Do you like to wear makeup?idk i've never worn it yet 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?i don't think so 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?i hope i did

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transssexualheart · 8 years ago

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Hey b I know you like asks so answer all 200 because I'm just that nice :^)

FUCK THATS SO MANY

200: my crush’s name is:as if you all don’t know at this point. it’s sarah

199: i was born in:2002

198: i am really:gay

197: my cellphone company is: i’m so fuckin stupid i’m not sure what the question is asking

196: my eye color is: brown

195: my shoe size is:eight and a half/nine

194: my ring size is:i don’t wear rings

193: my height is:5′5

192: i am allergic to:nothing

191: my first car was:never had a car

190: my first job was:never had a job

189: last book you read:hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy

188: my bed is:small

187: my pet:is a beautiful orange cat named danny and i love her

186: my best friend:is lovely

185: my favorite shampoo is:i don’t care

184: xbox or ps3:i’ve never played a ps3 so i guess xbox

183: piggy banks are:ok??? why are we trying to start piggy bank discourse

182: in my pockets:are trash

181: on my calendar:i don’t use a calendar

180: marriage is:alright?? i’d get married if my partner wanted to

179: spongebob can:?? exist??

178: my mom:is not very nice

177: the last three songs i bought were?uhhh i havent bought music in a while idk

176: last yt video i watched:for him.

175: how many cousins do you have?fuck dude. so many. i don’t know.

174: do you have any siblings?two, a brother and a sister

173: are your parents divorced?well my parents tried to get divorced but my dad died before it actually got worked out and my mom and my stepdad aren’t married and have never been so

172: are you taller than your mom?i believe so

171: do you play an instrument?yeah, piano

170: what did you do yesterday?not much, just sat around and then walked in circles around my house for hours and then hung out with my siblings in the yard

[do you believe in]

169: love at first site:no, what if that pretty girl u saw on the street is an asshole?? what if she’s racist and homophobic dude u don’t know her

168: luck:sure

167: fate:yeah i guess

166: yourself:haha no

165: aliens:ya

164: heaven:idk

163: hell:idk

162: god:idk!!

161: horoscopes:idk they’re fun to look at

160: soul mates: i’d like to believe in soul mates

159: ghosts:idk

158: gay marriage:gay marriage isn’t a fuckinhg cryptid, yes i believe in it i’m gay and i’m gonna probably get married

157: war:god fuck i don’t know

156: orbs:??????????

155: magic:could be real, might not be, who knows

[this or that]

154: hugs or kisses:kisses

153: drunk or high:never been either so

152: phone or online:phone, can text my friends whom i lov

151: red heads or black haired:black haired i guess

150: blondes or brunettes:someone’s gonna get sad when i answer this but brunettes

149: hot or cold:i don’t know actually

148: summer or winter:summer, it’s better than having seasonal depression added onto my normal depression

147: autumn or spring: spring

146: chocolate or vanilla:vanilla

145: night or day:night

144: oranges or apples:apples

143: curly or straight hair:curly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

142: mcdonalds or burger king:don’t really eat at either but if i had to choose, mcdonalds

141: white chocolate or milk chocolate?white chocolate

140: mac or pc:pc

139: flip flops or high heels:high heels

138: ugly and rich OR sweet and poor:wtf

137: coke or pepsi:don’t really drink soda

136: hillary or obama:man i don’t know too much about politics all i know is that i’d choose hillary over trump any day

135: buried or cremated:man i’m not sure,, i guess i’d prefer to be cremated Please Rid The World Of My Horrible Body

134: singing or dancing:singing

133: coach or chanel:i have like fifty cents do you think i can afford that shit

132: kat mcphee or taylor hicks:who

131: small town or big city:i love the city, maybe that’s because i live in a small town but i love the city

130: wal mart or target:target

129: ben stiller or adam sandler: idk

128: manicure or pedicure:well i don’t want anyone touching my feet i don’t even like taking my socks off around friends unless i very much trust them

127: east coast or west coast:well i live on the east coast so

126: your birthday or christmas:my bday bc we go on vacation for it bc it’s over the summer

125: chocolate or flowers:flowers

124: disney or six flags:never been to disney so six flags

123: yankees or red sox:sport???

[here’s what i think about]

122: war:didn’t another question p much ask the same thing

121: george bush:idk??

120: gay marriage:p much already been asked bud

119: the presidential election:not my president can’t believe u fuckers let trump win

118: abortion:if someone wants an abortion, they should be able to get it. no one else should have a monopoly over that, not even the father, because their body does not belong to him.

117: myspace:never used it

116: reality tv:eh

115: parents:some are good, mine i am not fans of

114: back stabbers:i don’t think i’ve ever really been backstabbed

113: ebay:it’s ok?

112: facebook:don’t really use it

111: work:don’t have a job

110: my neighbors:i don’t talk to them much but everytime we go near their dogs on the otherside of the fence they call the dogs back or pull them away one of the kids went “haha you can’t touch our dogs” and?? idk why??

109: gas prices:i don’t drive

108: designer clothes:can’t afford them

107: college:haven’t been

106: sports:Throw Ball

105: my family:my sister is lovely, my brother is really mean, and my parents are also p mean like i don’t realize sometimes until i tell something they said and they’re like “??? that’s really not ok??”

104: the future:hasn’t happened yet how would i know

[last time i]

103: hugged someone:earlier today i hugged my aunt because she’s over for easter

102: last time you ate:just ate a tootsie roll a lil bit ago

101: saw someone i haven’t seen in a while:i guess the only person i haven’t seen very recently is spence and the last time i saw him was a few weeks ago

100: cried in front of someone:long time ago

99: went to a movie theater: went to see beauty and the beast a while back but i don’t remember exactly when that was

98: took a vacation: last summer

97: swam in a pool:last summer at my aunt’s probably

96: changed a diaper:many years

95: got my nails done:i painted a clear coat on them a lil while back does that count

94: went to a wedding:year or so ago?

93: broke a bone:never broken any bones

92: got a piercing:when i was like five

91: broke the law:idk

90: texted:a few mins ago

[misc]

89: who makes you laugh the most:hahah. u

88: something i will really miss when i leave home is:oh man. all my friends, hubbard hall, the school playground, as much as i wanna leave this town i’ll probably cry leaving it behind

87: the last movie i saw:moana!

86: the thing that i’m looking forward to the most:death

85: the thing i’m not looking forward to:school starting again

83: the most difficult thing to do is:tell someone you’re in love with them

82: i have gotten a speeding ticket:never??

81: my zodiac sign is:leo

80: the first person i talked to today was:probably my mom

79: first time you had a crush:seventh grade

78: the one person u can’t hide anything from:apparently you because u always figure me out

77: last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, spence was talking about how his bf had big hands and i said “u know what they say” and i was about to say “big gloves” but he beat me to it

76: right now i am talking to:i’m not talking i’m typing

75: what are you going to do when you grow up:idk

74: i have/will get a job:i don’t?? know??

73: tomorrow:is easter

72: today:is not easter

71: next summer:??

70: next weekend:idk man??

69: i have these pets:one cat, two fish

68: the worst sound in the world:chEWING

67: the person that makes me cry the most is:haha

66: people that make you happy:my friends

65: last time i cried:about a month ago

64: my friends are:the best!!!

63: my computer is:alright

62: my school:is the fucking worse

61: my car:is non existent

60: i lose all respect for people who:support trump

59: the movie i cried at was:i cried over the shitty mario movie when i was seven

58: your hair color is: dark brown

57: tv shows you watch:i don’t really watch tv

56: fav website:i dont kno

55: your dream vacation:to go to the beach with friends

54: the worst pain i was ever in was:emotional

53: how do you like your steak cooked:well not burnt

52: my room is:alright

51: my fav celebrity is:does dan avidan count? he still holds a special place in my heart

50: where would you like to be:my answers for these kinds of qs are always so gay

49: do you want children:used to not want them, but i guess depending on the person i’d have them with i MIGHT

48: ever been in love:ya

47: who’s your best friend:asdgkjgf

46: more guy friends or more girl friends:many of us are nb

45: one thing that makes you feel great is:being loved

44: one person you wish you could see right now:u know, u all know who

43: do you have a five year plan:???????

42: have you made a list of the things to do before u die:1. kiss a girlthat’s it

41: have you prenamed your children:no

40: last person i got mad at:probably my brother

39: i would like to move to:nyc

38: i wish i was a professional:animator

[my favs]

37: candy:sweedish fish and jolly ranchers

36: vehicle:idk

35: president:i only remember obama

34: state visited:idk

33: cellphone provider:also idk

32: athlete:don’t pay attention to sports

31: actor:i don’t freakin know

30: actress:well,

29: singer:wELL,,

28: band:not sure

27: clothing store:idk

26: grocery store:hannaford??

25: tv show:no idea

24: movie:so many good movies

23: website:i think this was already asked??

22: animal:not sure

21: theme park:only ever been to like one

20: holiday:xmas

19: sport to watch:uhh i guess soccer?? i’ll actually understand whats happening so

18: sport to play:also soccer

17: magazine:don’t read them

16: book:carry on

15: day of the week:saturday

14: beach:no specific one i just like the beach

13: concert attended:only ever been to one, it was a top concert

12: thing to cook:grilled cheese

11: food:not sure

10: restaurant:idk

9: radio station:don’t really listen to the radio

8: yankee candle scent:??? idk???

7: perfume:don’t really wear it

6: flower:roses or tiger lillies

5: color:blue

4: talk show host:i don’t know??

3: comedian:bo burnham

2: dog breed:shiba inu

1: did you answer all of these truthfully?ya

i didn’t move the whole time i answered all 200 help me

#ask tag

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sparrowhaven · 8 years ago

Text

Bi-annual state of the self

*waves* soooo if you’re new to my blog, for the past couple of years I’ve had a couple of times of year where I write/post a bit about Sad Personal Shit. At this point it’s more to remind myself about how far I’ve come than actually inform other people about my state of mind. Although I guess it helps people know I’m doing okay since I hardly talk about personal stuff in public. Like in previous posts I’ll put most of the info under a cut to not clutter up anyone’s dash or make anyone really sad unless they wanna take a look.

As of writing this I’m doing fine (though admittedly I’ve been working on this off and on since the tail end of December and I’m like 95% sure i’m done as of 1/20 hahaha nvm i’m still touching up on this on 1/25). I’m probably okay when this gets posted. Well. Very likely on the lower end of okay. I’ll put in details under the cut but if anyone wants to ask questions privately I’ll answer them. Though maybe not immediately or even until late today because god knows I’ll be working to try not to think about today AND THEN I’m going to see A Dog’s Purpose with my family because my youngest sister insisted on taking us to a movie that’s gonna at least make ME cry.

Um, if you don’t want to read this and/or you wanna know what to do to help me out, send me funny and/or wholesome memes and videos. I also like cute stuff involving elephants and owls and cats and snakes. Any animal really but those are like my top 4 in no real order. Oh, or puns. I love puns. Yeah lots of puns will help too cuz I’ll be able to read them to other people who’ll need a laugh or a groan.

....This is gonna be long so sorry in advance for my rambling.

Anyway, on with the show.

To get this out of the way and also summarize the reason behind this post: my younger brother Benjamin killed himself on August 25, 2014. Today, January 27, 2017, would have been his 21st birthday. It’s been a bit of a ride these past couple of years to say the least even without the bullshit that was a good chunk of 2016.

So before I get asked this, no the name Benjamin or Ben or any other nickname related to it doesn’t trigger me. I’ll notice it, sure, but only in the same way anyone else with siblings would notice someone saying their sibling’s name in a regular context. Same goes for anyone mentioning having a brother. Suicide or death in general as a topic in conversation or in a story doesn’t exactly trigger me, but talk about wanting to die or disappear can make me a bit anxious even if the person talking doesn’t actually mean to do anything (although admittedly some days I can handle such talk better than others). I can get really intense just because (as mentioned in at least one previous post) there was a tangible hole in the world when my brother died and I dunno what I’d do if someone I knew just suddenly left again. This doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me when you’re feeling like you need to die or disappear and you need to tell someone. BY ALL MEANS please talk to me if you’re having these kinds of feelings--keeping them inside is worse than letting them out even to someone who might try to grab your face through a computer screen in an attempt to let you know that they care about you a lot. Don’t be worried about hurting me if you’re hurting. I tend to describe my current existence as “varying states of okay” but most of the time I’m on the better end of okay. I’ll let you know if I can’t handle things.

Oh yeah another thing: If I mentioned my brother in a conversation with someone that didn’t know about anything related to him, I always tried very very hard to use past tenses so that I wouldn’t be lying. Like “god he used to do such and such” or telling a story about him from when he was a kid. Mostly it’s because he was a great person and I love to bring up the silly things that he did and that happened to him in his life even if I don’t necessarily want everyone I meet to know that he’s dead. Also, I know a couple of people who are gonna feel really dumb because they didn’t figure this out sooner and I’m here to say that IT’S OKAY SERIOUSLY. I was only avoiding the topic because it’s heavy as fuck, why would I want to dump all that on you all at once just a little while after we met I mean come on. Also as a general rule I usually don’t feel bad enough about Ben’s death in particular to want to broach the subject in the first place. I’ve got more pressing things to stress about and tackle first, y’know?

Obviously that isn’t to say that I don’t still feel SOMETHING even 2 and a half years later. I definitely still miss him. But it’s like even if I AM having a bad day related to Ben’s death (like...being reminded of what age he should be as an example) I just don’t normally talk about this stuff with people I’ve only met since he died because...well, first off not everyone’s had someone close to them die. See, the thing that no one tells you about grief before you lose someone close to you is that the feelings don’t really go away. It’s more like, you get more used to missing the person that died but there are definitely times when the pain will flare up thanks to some reminder and you have to cry about it. People who haven’t lost anyone might not be able to understand or empathize when they’ve had no experience with loss. And that’s fine. I don’t ever want someone to lose someone close to them just to understand how I feel FUCK no. It’s just that the barrier of experience can make the conversation immediately turn awkward from the other side not knowing what to say and me not wanting to make them uncomfortable. So, as much as possible I try to avoid that.

Secondly, mentioning Ben and how he died can sound a lot like I’m trying to grab attention. Which, I don’t want or ever intend to do. At this point in my life (to me, at least), his being dead has been solidified as fact. Which means that when I mention his death it’s more like I’m saying that the sky is blue or the grass is green. Saying the words has easier and easier as time’s gone on. Not everyone will get that being able to say them at all is in fact one of the ways I know I’ve taken some steps forward in healing. So they might assume that I’m trying to gain sympathy points when all I really wanna do is talk. (Most of this is just paranoia I’m aware but it’s still a valid reason.)

And thirdly...well, there’s just some things I can say candidly that not everyone is going to appreciate right away. They tend to be a mix of reminiscing about stuff my brother did or would totally do in a given situation and whatever situation I happen to be in. This can lead to morbidly funny things such as this story about a conversation my sister and I had:

(He really would pull a fucking stunt like that tho. Not to really be mean but because he was that kinda person. As an example, he would sneak into my room while I had my headphones on and scare the crap outta me just because he could and I wasn’t paying attention.)(I didn’t end up with a shittily wrapped present on my bed but that would definitely have been something)

Okay now that we’ve got that extra long preamble out of the way, I can now get to how I’ve been lately.

The year and a bit after Ben died was hard, but it was easy compared to 2016 for whatever reason (even though for obvious reasons I consider 2014 to be my worst year). I was feeling more and more broken and alone as the year dragged on despite my moments of relief whenever I hung out with family or talked with my online friends or went to my grief group. On my days off of work I was often just at the house, not doing much of anything and not having any motivation to do much more than watch videos. Sure I had my good moments, but those seemed to get drowned out by how dull and repetitive life felt. Months ticked by and I was getting more and more lonely and missing the fact that my brother would have been there with me to go to places (despite knowing that he would probably have been working on my days off, the loneliness doesn’t have a set logic behind it). I don’t think I would’ve done anything to myself (there’s no way I’d put my family through what we’ve been through again) but I was fully aware that something had to be done and soon.

So one day I decided to join a private livestream of an artist I’d backed on patreon. I’d initially starting giving her money because I thought she deserved it and I didn’t really care about getting a reward for it, but one night she’d posted about doing a livestream for her patrons and I decided to see what would happen. And I had a great time. Everyone was so chill and friendly, and it was fun seeing her draw pages for her comic and talk to her patrons about all kinds of topics. So the next time she streamed, I joined that. And since then I’ve joined in on other livestreams of other artists, met new, wonderful people, joined discord servers and in general I’ve just been feeling much better about myself. And definitely less lonely. I don’t always make friends very easily but I’ve found strong platonic connections with these friends I’ve made and in a very short period of time. And I hope that I’ve helped them as much as they’ve helped me lately.

By the way just so we’re all clear in this whole long ramble: I appreciate every single one of my friends, old or new, and you’ve all helped me out in different ways while I’ve been sorting myself out. Just because I might not talk to you about my feelings or issues doesn’t mean I don’t like you or I’ve suddenly stopped caring about you. If you feel like you didn’t do anything for me because I didn’t say anything about it I WANT YOU, YES YOU THE PERSON READING THIS WHO IS MY FRIEND, TO KNOW THAT YOU BEING YOU HAS HELPED ME PERIOD THE END. Really. I’m not just saying that. Everyone has contributed something that’s helped me out in recent months even if to you it was just a silly chat. Don’t think I won’t smother you in momfriend worry and assurances and positive callouts about how good you are if you don’t believe me I STG.

2016 was a hard year for everyone. Friends of mine have gone through really hard times, politics has played havoc with everyone’s emotions, well respected and loved celebrities have died...with the dawning of this year I can only hope for the best for everyone (despite the really shitty political climate) and offer some words of advice and encouragement:

You CAN move on from your very worst day. Even the one that you never, ever wanted to happen. It’s going to really suck, but you can do it. You’ll feel like you’re in the bottom of a deep ditch with no way out, but there IS a path up. Finding it is something you’re going to have to figure out on your own, but there are other people out there who can help point you in the right direction if you need them. And if you don’t need anyone you can still find your way. Just keep moving, one step at a time.

Don’t worry about being “slow” in recovering. Don’t even worry if you feel like you’re never gonna recover at all.

There isn’t a competition to see who can heal better/faster/stronger/ever from something traumatic.

The important part is that you’re moving forward, even at what you feel like is a snail’s pace because if you’re still moving and breathing you’re still alive. The objective is to stay alive for as long as possible. (I’m not saying that there won’t ever be times when you’ll break down because of your feelings as you move on. Hell I’m WELL AWARE that those points in time never really go away.)

What you need is perspective. The more time and experience you have, the better you end up being able to handle what hurt you.

You might not think you’re important but I can guarantee you that if you died that people would feel your absence. It might not be the people you’d have expected, but they still will feel something because you’re gone.

Be gentle with those who lost someone, but you don’t necessarily have to walk on eggshells around them. Most of the time, they just want someone to talk to about their experiences.

So, if you need any more metaphors or advice or just someone to talk to I’m willing to help however I can.

Also Ben, wherever you are, I hope you have a good birthday. We all still love and miss you, but we’re doing okay. I mean. just within this past month I’ve managed to draw you fairly well so there’s something positive.

So you don’t have to worry about us from wherever you are on the other side. Really. Thank you for watching over us, tho. Happy birthday.

#tw: suicide #tw: grief #discussion therof really #sad shit #rambling #my brother #benjamin #happy birthday lil bro #don't hafta read or reply if you don't want to #seriously tho i'm more than willing to talk about this stuff in pms of any sort #just is a liiiiiittle awkward to bring up in casual conversation #altho if you wanna just let me ramble about how great my bro was #I will be ALL OVER THAT SHIT #I could talk about him all day I mean it #wow this posted an hour earlier than I was intending but HEY OH WELL

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argonapricot · 8 years ago

Note

all of them

ALEX THERE ARE TWO HUNDRED OF THESE PLS

200: My crush’s name is: Nupur199: I was born in: is this asking for time or place198: I am really: too tired to be dealing with this rn197: My cellphone company is: verizon I think196: My eye color is: brown. like 20% hazel-ish if you squint195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2194: My ring size is: uh193: My height is: 5′5″192: I am allergic to: capital pi191: My 1st car was: lol190: My 1st job was: working as a Hebrew teacher? That is. Still my job.189: Last book you read: Invisible Man for school, Adaptation by Melinda Lo outside of it, and I’m currently working on a book written about Tolkien.188: My bed is: A CASTLE IT’S THE BEST BED OKAY187: My pet: Sasha and Maya, the bestest cats186: My best friend: “””””””””””””””””you”””””””””””””””””” that’s a lie it really is you

185: My favorite shampoo is: I use Pantene but like. I don’t really think of shampoo in terms of favorites?184: Xbox or ps3: what are those183: Piggy banks are: c u t e182: In my pockets: money, quarters, this one teabag that I keep forgetting to do anything with, and occasionally small wrappers.181: On my calendar: your birthday!180: Marriage is: classy179: Spongebob can: sponge the bobs but can he rob the mobs?178: My mom: a great and good and amazing mom177: The last three songs I bought were? Three individual movements of Johan de Meij’s Lord of the Rings symphony176: Last YouTube video watched:175: How many cousins do you have? 4174: Do you have any siblings? 1173: Are your parents divorced? nope172: Are you taller than your mom? yup171: Do you play an instrument? DO I EVER170: What did you do yesterday? sure as heck not any calculus homework[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: I thought I did, until yesterday 3168: Luck: Yeah?167: Fate: I mean idk166: Yourself: “””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””sure””””””””””””””””””””””165: Aliens: I believe in the possibility, I’ve never pretended to know!164: Heaven: I wish I did more than I do163: Hell: nah162: God: *waves my hands in a squiggly agnostic way* not in like a biblical sense but in a unifying connect-y energy in everything idk161: Horoscopes: I mean I believe in them as concepts like. They exist. That’s a thing. I don’t buy into them but I like them all the same.160: Soul mates: 159: Ghosts: nnnnnah158: Gay Marriage: HELL YEAH157: War: not in so many words156: Orbs: what155: Magic: the elf sitting in my computer says yes[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs153: Drunk or High: drugs are bad152: Phone or Online: Are these mutually exclusive? Online151: Red heads or Black haired: BOTH I mean red heads bc maedhros but I find both very attractive150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes all the way149: Hot or cold: how cot or how cold?148: Summer or winter: mmmeh147: Autumn or Spring: autumn!146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla!145: Night or Day: night as a concept, day as a time when I’m awake144: Oranges or Apples: apples. unless we’re talking clementines or mandarins here in which case...143: Curly or Straight hair: shrug?142: McDonalds or Burger King: I only eat organic kale cubes141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate what sort of a rigged survey is this (but okay I like all chocolates they are all good and great)

140: Mac or PC: ...............mac139: Flip flops or high heals: neither gross sneakers are good138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: I love how it’s not even pretty and poor but “sweet”, like what kind of asshole would say ugly and rich and have that be an official statement that they make.137: Coke or Pepsi: I don’t like fizzy drinks136: Hillary or Obama: I’m going to cry135: Burried or cremated: planted into a tree134: Singing or Dancing: BOTH133: Coach or Chanel: what does this mean132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are these people131: Small town or Big city: Once upon a time I would’ve said small town, but these past two years I’ve really come into my own as a citygirl.130: Wal-Mart or Target: target ofc129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: uh128: Manicure or Pedicure: I don’t have nails127: East Coast or West Coast: I mean I feel like I kind of have to say east126: Your Birthday or Christmas: my birthday lol christmas is. not a thing. that I celebrate.125: Chocolate or Flowers: I’ve always thought flowers were the cutest, but I’ve also always wanted chocolate the most124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney I guess? I’ve been to neither123: Yankees or Red Sox: what are sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: really really fucked up and unfortunate121: George Bush: which george bush120: Gay Marriage: I don’t have specific thoughts on this it’s just a thing that should be a thing that I want to be a thing119: The presidential election: let’s not118: Abortion: I think I would have a hard time getting one personally, but I would never presume to speak for everyone.117: MySpace: sure is a website116: Reality TV: oh you mean the sitcomarillion?115: Parents: parents in general? Or my parents? My parents are the best most understanding loving parents and I’m really lucky to have them114: Back stabbers: “””””pals””””””113: Ebay: a party112: Facebook: I sure don’t use that consistently. I only really made my account to check in with my mom’s account.111: Work: should be FUN AND LIFE ENRICHING WOA110: My Neighbors: a okay109: Gas Prices: priced108: Designer Clothes: designed107: College: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH LETS NOT106: Sports: ew105: My family: I LOVE MY FAMILY104: The future: L E T S N O T[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: I just hugged Benjamin goodnight a moment ago102: Last time you ate: I had eggs for dinner101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile:100: Cried in front of someone: the real question is when is the last time I DIDNT cry in front of someone?99: Went to a movie theater: To see Hidden Figures the day after it came out!!98: Took a vacation: for a given value of “taken”...97: Swam in a pool: I honestly can’t remember96: Changed a diaper: Have I ever changed a diaper?95: Got my nails done: That one and only time at Lena’s birthday party where Elizabeth made me even though I didn’t want to.94: Went to a wedding: I can’t remember right now I’m too tired93: Broke a bone: 7th grade. Clarissa was there.92: Got a peircing: I got my ears pierced in fifth grade?91: Broke the law: I stole a firetruck to go to starbux90: Texted: 500 years ago in Vampire Scotland[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: u88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I can’t think about this or I will cry87: The last movie I saw: Hidden Figures86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: going to Starbucks85: The thing im not looking forward to: calculus examinations84: People call me: Buttermay83: The most difficult thing to do is: answer all these questions in one go82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: what’s driving81: My zodiac sign is: capricorn!80: The first person i talked to today was: My cat?79: First time you had a crush: You already know this leave me alone78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: sometimes you and sometimes Benjamin but mostly JRR Tolkien77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: that time you said “I want an oreo” in class today76: Right now I am talking to: my own exhaustion75: What are you going to do when you grow up: gay marry74: I have/will get a job: what is this even asking73: Tomorrow: Thursday72: Today: Wednesday71: Next Summer: pre-college screaming70: Next Weekend: pre your birthday excitement!69: I have these pets: Sasha and Maya, the bestest cats68: The worst sound in the world: Dr. Propst67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Uzuki Kakinuma66: People that make you happy: lots of people, you know the people65: Last time I cried: :}64: My friends are: the actual absolute best friends in the world63: My computer is: trying its best62: My School: has a fire microwave GK GK WE ALL WE GOT61: My Car: what’s a car60: I lose all respect for people who: are in robotics59: The movie I cried at was: the singular movie???? who does this survey think I am?58: Your hair color is: dark brown!57: TV shows you watch: the Uzuki Files56: Favorite web site: mspadventures obviously55: Your dream vacation: to middle earth yes hello54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when I last gave birth to my uterus and almost died53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium rare?52: My room is: smallish, messish, comfy51: My favorite celebrity is: Yuna Kim50: Where would you like to be: in bed49: Do you want children: we’ve discussed this. I go back and forth48: Ever been in love: ye47: Who’s your best friend: this was literally already asked46: More guy friends or girl friends: what are guys45: One thing that makes you feel great is: not having to answer 200 questions in a row44: One person that you wish you could see right now: Uzuuuuuuuki43: Do you have a 5 year plan: nnnnnup42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: we started one at least?41: Have you pre-named your children: HAVE I EVER40: Last person I got mad at: horst39: I would like to move to: bed38: I wish I was a professional: bed. I mean artist[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: Reeses36: Vehicle: bus35: President: Guiney34: State visited: California sounds so cliche but. I mean.33: Cellphone provider: idc32: Athlete: Yuna Kim31: Actor: *mumbleslumbles*30: Actress: too many to choose from help29: Singer: selena gomez obvious28: Band: selena gomez and the slene27: Clothing store: my mom’s closet26: Grocery store: Publix25: TV show: Galavant, Stranger Things, Community in the earlier seasons...24: Movie: I watched Boy Meets Girl lately and it was Fantastic23: Website: fernferction.dert.nert22: Animal: snow leopard21: Theme park: harry potter. world.20: Holiday: Tubishvat19: Sport to watch: ice skating18: Sport to play: night tennis17: Magazine: Elves Weekly16: Book: let’s not open this can of worms I need to go to bed15: Day of the week: tuesday14: Beach: all beaches are great13: Concert attended: Midori performing the Mendelssohn left a really lasting impression on me forever12: Thing to cook: eggs11: Food: eggs10: Restaurant: Tuk Tuk Thai Loft 9: Radio station: GPB OBVIOUSLY8: Yankee candle scent: wat7: Perfume: no6: Flower: azalea5: Color: jewel tones4: Talk show host: Stephen Colbert3: Comedian: andrew hussie2: Dog breed: cats1: Did you answer all these truthfully? of course

I hope this satisfies u u hellspawn

#shovelthefries #ask meme thing #my brain is dead now goodnight #alkaline earth muses

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