#i got a little ahead of myself doing so much work on the graphics before i can even make it functional with the code and everything

[mossymanor]

Low res preview of the dress up game I'm working on! It will be fairy themed, only one skin tone for now until I can figure out the code and get it working, but then I plan to add more as well as additional dresses and wings. I also still need to design the menu/controls.

[mountainsandmayhem]

BDSMaid - Chapter 9

Series Summary: In order to save money for law school, you accept a job working as a maid for high end clients. You aren’t supposed to know whose home you’re cleaning, but your curiosity is peaked by your first client, and when the two of you have a shocking and surprising run in more than just your curiosity peaks.  Word Count: 5k CW: see small red lettering below the cut AN: I'm going to miss them!! I'm absolutely heartbroken that I'm done, but so fucking proud of myself for what I've created. Thank you to @lotusbxtch for being my beta from pretty much the very beginning. I am so grateful to you and so honoured (yes, with a u because I'm Canadian lol) to call you my friend. Also little shoutouts to @for-a-longlongtime, @alltheirdamn, @mermaidgirl30 and @littlevenicebitch69 for listening to me go on about them for 80% of 2024. As always, graphics and dividers by @saradika-graphics

My Masterlist || Series Masterlist

TW: unprotected p in v, one spank, multiple orgasms and Overstim hinted at, pining, heartbreak

Eight Months Later

Joel

“I got yelled at by a feisty brunette last night at that gala,” Tommy says as the two of them sip whiskey at the bar of the club. 

“Probably deserved it.” Joel deadpans and closes the folder of invoices he’s looking over.

He should be doing this in his fancy, and newly renovated, office across the street. He was in the large office for all of three minutes the day after you left when he could only see the ghost of you. From the chair you sat in when you first asked him to teach you how to be a sub, to the door he pinned you against and confessed how out of his mind he was over you, everything was you, and it had to go if he had any chance of following what you needed from him. Joel hasn’t even been in his room at the club out of the fear of what it would do to him. Would I still be able to smell the lavender of her shampoo in there? Still be able to hear her beautiful cries of pleasure and pain bouncing off the walls?

“She thought I was you,” Tommy says, glancing over at his brother and interrupting Joel’s impending spiral.

Joel sighs, slipping his reading glasses from his face before taking a long pull of the amber liquor from his crystal glass. Tommy looks straight ahead as he continues.

“She’s doing great, by the way. Or at least that’s what her friend said when she was scolding me.”

 Joel winces at his words, “Of course she is, Tommy.” Even though it's been almost a year since you left, just the mention of you rips his barely-mended heart back in half. It doesn’t seem to matter how much time passes, he still feels like he did in his kitchen. 

The very fibers of his being ache just as hard for you now as they did then. He longs to see you and touch you, to feel your warm, soft skin under his hands again. Anyone before you was always, ‘Yes, Mister Miller,’ even when they weren’t in a scene; but not you. You weren’t afraid to be curious and unapologetically yourself. He hasn’t laughed as hard with anyone, including Tiffany, as he did with you. But the part that he misses the most is the way you look at him the first time you see him. Your eyes soften, velvety pink lips parting slightly before they curl into a smile that makes his heart hammer behind his ribs. Then, he watches your shoulders relax and it makes him feel like he hung the moon and stars for you, and if he could have, he would have.  

He clears his throat and then rasps, “She’s too smart to not be doing well.”

Tommy stands, bringing his hands to rub at Joel's shoulders. He squeezes his tense deltoid muscles and with a hint of mischief in his voice he says, “Lots of pretty girls here tonight if you feel like moving on.”

Joel shakes his head and pulls away from Tommy’s grasp with a grunt. “Never gonna happen. Get outta here before you get yelled at two nights in a row.”

“Just too bad for me that you aren’t a hot brunette,” Tommy says with a laugh.

“I have brown hair,” Joel replies defensively, running his fingers through the grown out curls. 

“Not to kick you when you’re down, but it’s mostly grey at this point.”

Joel holds up a single finger at Tommy over his shoulder as he laughs and walks away. 

Two and a half years later

You

You’ve been up to your eyeballs in studying as you prepare for your finals. These last few years in California have been the hardest yet most fulfilling time of your life. Two nights in a row now, you’ve fallen asleep in the library, only waking when your Spotify would switch from the white noise playlist you use to help you focus, to your “getting ready” playlist. After dragging yourself to your dorm room in the dead of the night, you’d get a few restless hours of sleep before heading right back to your favourite studying spot. You can’t believe that in just a few short weeks you’ll be graduating and stepping into the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself.

The unmistakable FaceTime jingle fills your AirPods. Jamie’s name is splayed across the screen of your phone, along with a photo of the two of you at Albany Beach when she visited this past Christmas break. You put your highlighter down and slide the answer toggle over. 

“Hey!” She says, her warm smile shining up at you. You squint, trying to place where she is. You don’t often let yourself think of Joel, but the cracks across your screen make FaceTiming difficult, and the selfish side of you always wishes you had grabbed that new phone before you left. Your head cocks to the side; broken screen or not, you don’t recognize the background.

“Where are you?” You ask.

“Oh, I’m good, thanks. How are you?” She jests with a mocking eye roll.  “I’m at a cabin.”

“What cabin?” You say, glaring at her jokingly. A deep laugh comes from the otherside of the phone and your eyes widen. “Who’s that?”

The man's voice comes from offscreen, “I can’t believe you thought she wouldn’t ask where you were. She’s going to be a lawyer, for god's sake.”

“Jamie, who is that? What is going on here? Blink twice if you need rescuing!” You joke. 

Jamie blushes, looking over the phone at whoever that voice is coming from. “I just wanted to call to see how the studying is going, and to let you know that I got the graduation tickets.”

A glass of white wine appears in front of Jamie and she smiles before puckering her lips in a kissing motion towards the man in the room with her. “Ok, seriously, who the fuck is that and where are you?”

“I was also calling to let you know that Laren can’t make it anymore and Odette is in New York,” she takes a small sip of her wine.

“Oh, well that’s ok,” you say, trying to squash the disappointment and hoping it doesn’t show in your voice or face. You wished that at least two of your three best friends would be there for you. “It can just be me and you, baby!” 

“Well…I’m wondering if I could maybe bring my boyfriend? Might be a good opportunity for you two to meet.”

“What? What boyfriend?” You say, officially abandoning all study materials until you get some answers. Jamie raises a perfectly manicured finger and calls the mystery man over. 

You swallow hard as Tommy Miller appears beside her. 

Jamie glances up at him, her bright green eyes full of admiration, his mirroring hers. The starry look in their eyes tells you everything you need to know; they’re so far gone for that even a search and rescue team wouldn’t be able to save them. She looks back at you. “Meet again, I guess.”

You try to push for answers, but either of them give in, claiming you need to focus on finals. Before you hang up, Jamie promises to tell you the entire story when you see each other next. You’re happy for your friend, especially seeing the way Tommy looked back at her. Even through your cracked screen you could see the love, but as you try to go back to studying you have a hollow feeling in your stomach.

Graduation Day

You

The late afternoon sun fills your dorm room, boxes of your belongings stacked haphazardly around you. After walking the stage tonight, you are going out to dinner with Jamie and Tommy, and then he has paid for a hotel suite so the two of you can have a girls’ night. You can’t wait to hear how Tommy went from, in Jamie’s previous words, “my dad’s new asshole friend” to her boyfriend. 

You step in front of your floor length mirror, zipping up the black graduation gown over your knee length, form fitting, deep emerald velvet dress. The California sun has been good to you, your tanned legs and sunkissed nose and cheeks are glowing. You place your blue and yellow Berkeley Law stole over your head and then grab your cap, ensuring the ‘Class of ‘28’ tassel is secure. You fluff your curls one last time as a light knock comes from your door. 

“Ready to graduate, gorgeous?” Ronan smiles at you, eyes trailing down your gown. He’s the type of handsome that’s almost painful to look at, but more importantly - you wouldn’t have made it through these last three years without him. You met the first day - the lock on your door wasn’t working, and he waltzed in on you half naked when he mistook your room as his. 

You smile at him in your doorway now; remembering the way you screamed at him that first time, trying to cover your chest, and him scrambling to close the door. His eyes were clamped shut, and he slammed his finger so hard that you had to take him for stitches. Now, several years later, he fills out his graduation gown perfectly with those wide rugby shoulders, a sight you couldn’t even have imagined back then. Whichever angel made him didn’t make a single mistake - he’s tall and insanely broad, with dark sandy blonde hair, and clover green eyes that in the right light are a golden hazel. He’s easily one of the smartest men you’ve ever met and an incredible athlete. The cherry on top, because of course there’s more: he’s an international student and has a panty-melting Irish accent. 

“Beyond ready. Let's become lawyers, babe.”

He steps aside, one arm out in a ‘ladies first’ gesture. Handsome, charming, and thoughtful - a dangerous trifecta. You slide your hand in the crook of his muscle-lined arm and walk across campus together.

Ronan jerks his head towards the coffee cart. “Remember when you spilled your entire coffee on your new puffer jacket?”

You glare up at him, you saved for weeks to buy that jacket. “No, but I remember you throwing up in that trash can after the Halloween party last year.” 

“Well, if Beach Party Barbie had helped Lifeguard Ken with all those shots we wouldn’t have had that problem, would we?” You laugh as Ronan puffs out his chest, but you both know he was more than willing to take your half of the ‘Best Couples Costume' shots. 

Finally, you reach the courtyard where the law students will be walking across a stage that acts as the symbolic bridge to the rest of their lives. I’m a lawyer, you think to yourself and try to force a smile. The magnitude of the day only really starts to sink into your bones as you see the friends and families of your classmates start to take their seats. The excited feeling you had earlier starts to morph. You’re proud of yourself for what you’ve done these last three years, and this was just the first step. You have so much to look forward to, so why do you feel a sense of dread building in the pit of your stomach? 

Ronan walks you to where you need to line up alphabetically, kissing your cheek and then, after leaning in and placing his large hand on your lower back, he whispers a joke about how you better not trip. You glance around the thick crowd for Jamie and Tommy. After realizing it’s hopeless to try and spot them in a group this large, you slip your cap over your hair and get in the procession line. 

You try to soak in every minute of the day, from the speeches to the birds chirping in the background, but something akin to loss flutters at the base of your spine. You’re just as sad to be leaving Berkely as you are excited to carve out your future. Leaving here isn’t what’s causing you to feel this way, however. You try to tell yourself that maybe it’s just nerves; even with all the job offers coming in from your internships, it’s normal to be nervous about what comes next. 

As the student union president gives his toast to the family and friends, you look down at your lap, pushing back the cuticle on your left thumb. Maybe it’s leaving Ronan. He’s been an anchor for you, grounding you almost every day of the last three years and you don’t know how you let yourself become this dependent on anyone, especially a man, again.  

You shake your head at yourself and try to move your focus to the cuticle on your other thumb. Seeing the skin clean from the nail bed eases the tension slightly for you. ‘I’m allowed to be nervous when leaning on people, but not everyone will leave me,’ you recite almost automatically in your mind, the mantra you’ve had these past few years whenever you feel yourself getting this anxious. Just as you finish the thought, a car revs in the distance and the realization of what - or who - you’re actually missing slams through you so hard that you almost feel winded. Your lungs ache, tears pushing behind your eyes as his name rings loudly through your mind.  

Joel.

You kept yourself busy since the minute you left Austin. The busier you were, the less time you had to focus on the void in your heart. During the school year, you didn’t have to find things to stay busy with; law school nearly chewed you up and spit you out. Over the summers, you worked as an intern and visited your friends. There was never a quiet moment, never too much time alone with your thoughts, and it was better this way. You can confidently say that you’d only thought of Joel six times since you walked out of his house that day: when you fell asleep on the beach and were so sunburnt you could barely move for three days; when you failed your first test; when your rusted SUV, that acted as your ticket to freedom at eighteen, died on the freeway in rush hour (from that point on you had to rely on public transportation to get you to the homes you cleaned). When you experienced your first earthquake; when you stayed up for forty-two hours straight after your partner in a group project didn’t have their side of the work done; and, lastly, this past New Year’s Eve when you were in Austin and thought you saw him at a party. 

“Is he here?”, that little box of feelings that you shut away in a vault long ago wonders. “Has anything changed for him in the last three years?” 

The small smile that pulls at your cheeks, and the excited flutter of your heart when you think about the possibility of seeing him again, proves that maybe nothing has changed for you. As the minutes tick by, your mind races with all the possible scenarios for after the ceremony. What if he is here? What will you say? What will he say? How will Ronan react, you know he has strong feelings about what happened between you and Joel. Even worse though, what if he’s not here? But maybe he’s at the hotel where Tommy and Jamie are staying?  

Before you know it, your row is standing and walking single file towards the stage. With each strike of your high-heeled strappy sandals against the concrete, a memory of Joel floods your system. The toast he made you in his kitchen, the kiss in that dimly lit hallway on your birthday, the way he walked you through his club and how calmly he talked about you being in charge before going into the voyeur room. The multitude of orgasms he gave you within the four walls of his private room. Him singing on the small stage of the dive bar you found, followed by him spanking you right there in the bathroom with his hand clamped to your face to keep you quiet. His strong hand grasping your thigh as he drove you to his house. The way he tasted on your tongue. The smell of his skin: all ash and leather, occasionally mixed with whiskey or mint. The feel of his body: hard, broad and hot. His shuddered breaths as he confessed so many things in so few words. 

‘It’s only you, sweet girl.’

‘Just call me Joel.’

‘I know, and I’m so proud of you, sweet girl.’

You carefully walk up the stairs, forcing the thoughts of Joel from your mind, just in time to hear your name announced as a graduate of Berkeley Law. You float across the stage, grabbing the piece of paper that acts as your degree until the real one comes, shaking the hand of the Dean who flips your tassel before you walk to the stairs on the other side; the stairs that symbolize the ending of your time here and the beginning of the rest of your life. 

As you reach the top of the steps, you look out into the audience and see Jamie. She pumps her fist in the air and before you can process the empty seat beside her, you feel it; a strong tug from behind your navel. It takes you less than a heartbeat to find him and the sight before you floods your body with a familiar warmth. Standing under a large tree at the edge of the audience, dressed in all black, and holding his Stetson hat to his heart, is Joel. For the first time in years you feel whole again.

 You keep your gaze on him, worried that if you so much as blink that he’ll be gone. You are supposed to follow your classmates, but you veer left, walking towards Joel. The closer you get, the more at ease you feel. He’s real, you think, he’s here. You stop a foot or so in front of him. 

“Hi, Freckles,” he whispers, his voice cracking slightly. His eyes dance around your face, almost as if he’s trying to memorize this moment. You can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling exactly how you are.   

“Hi, Sweet Cheeks,” you say, the same tremble in your voice, as you try desperately to hold it together. “You’re here.”

He nods and you give him a tight-lipped smile as your mind races. There’s so much you want to say, but now that he’s standing right there in front of you after three years, you don’t know where to start. 

Joel breaks the silence, jutting his chin in the direction of the other graduates as he says, “I saw you come in with your boyfriend. When I saw you kiss, I was going to leave, but I made you a promise.”

You knit your eyebrows together and take a step closer. “Boyfriend?”

“The man you walked over here with,” Joel says, his black Stetson sliding down the chest you so desperately want to touch as he drops his hands to his sides. He’s left no barriers between the two of you except the heartbreak that’s evident on his face. 

You laugh quietly, “No, he’s - that’s Ronan.”

Joel nods. “Okay.”

“He’s my friend,” you clarify, and when Joel’s face stays the same, you add, “And he’s still as gay as the day we first met!”

Joel lets out a whoosh of a breath and closes the distance between the two of you, his free hand comes to one of your curls, twirling the end of it around his thick fingers. Soft and silky meets rough and calloused. “I’m so proud of you, Freckles.”

You don’t miss how he watches your tongue dart between your lips, “Thank you.”

“So? How does it feel?” He gives you a soft crooked smile, his dimple carving into the short facial hair of his salt and pepper beard. Between that smile, and the way his brown eyes wash over you, you’re overcome with affection. He let you go. He did exactly as you asked him. He didn’t chase you or try to convince you to stay. You told him if he really loved you, then he’d do exactly this; and in turn, he did what he said he would. 

He showed up. 

“I love you,” you state and the air between you turns electric, almost like this moment could either set you both aflame or act as a generator for your future together. Joel gives you that look, the one that makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe. He lets the curled end of your hair slip from his fingers, reaching up towards your graduation cap but hesitating.

“May I?” He rasps and swallows hard.

You nod, and knowing exactly what he’s going for, you take the Stetson from his other hand and place it on your head after he removes your cap. The brim of it blocks out everything but the two of you.

“Say that again, sweet girl,” he murmurs.

“I love you,” it’s barely a whisper this time. “Even after three years apart, you are everything to me. I asked you to let me go so I could accomplish this, and you did. You’ve always done what I asked, what I needed. I’m not sorry for what happened between us, but I am sorry that I missed out on getting to spend the last three years with you looking at me how you are now. I love you, Joel Miller.”

He brings his lips within a breath of yours, and your body practically vibrates with the knowledge that if you leaned just a bit forward, you’d finally have his mouth on you again. You can almost taste the mint on his tongue as the familiar fragrance of ash and leather surround you. “I have dreamed of hearing those three words leave your beautiful lips more times than I can count, baby. You’re it for me. I’ll do anything for you, even if it means breaking my own heart, but I’m always going to be here for you, rooting for you and encouraging you. I’m glad you’re not sorry, because I’m not, I’m so fucking proud of you. I love you, too, my sweet girl.”

Finally, he presses his warm, firm lips against yours while pulling you tight to his body. You wrap an arm around his neck, holding the black cowboy hat against your head with your other hand. It doesn’t matter that the ceremony isn’t done, or that there are hundreds of people to your right. For the first time in three years, everything goes quiet. He hums contentedly and you feel yourself melt against him, tilting your head so he can deepen the kiss. He parts his lips, letting you take the first swipe of your tongue against his. Need floods your system, and based on the way he grinds into you, he’s feeling the same. 

He breaks the kiss, but doesn’t go far, resting his forehead against yours. “Take me home,” you practically purr.

“Where do you want home to be? I’ll go anywhere,” Joel rasps, running his nose down the bridge of yours. 

“Austin,” you respond, your breath catching as his lips ghost along the side of your mouth.

“I sold my portion of the club to Tommy and Tess. I don’t have anything holding me in Austin anymore, sweet girl. If you have a job offer you really want, that’s where we’ll go.” You pull back to look at him. You can tell by the set of his jaw that he’s serious. 

“I want to go to Austin. I have a job offer there.”

“Good thing I told Tommy not to touch my room at the club then.”

“That’s a very good thing,” you moan and then pull him in to kiss again. The audience behind you erupts into cheers, celebrating the accomplishments of every student in that crowd. 

You’re a lawyer, and suddenly, the future doesn’t seem so scary.

Joel

Taking you home to Austin that night unfortunately wasn’t an option. After finding Jamie in the crowd, and being formally introduced to Ronan, he called the car to pick up the three of you. You all met Tommy at the restaurant, celebrating with all the expensive homemade pasta and overpriced wine that you wanted; even though seeing you in that curve-hugging velvet dress was slowly killing him. Joel had kept at least one hand on you since seeing you again, and he doesn’t plan on changing that anytime soon. 

He didn’t want to rush you on your big night, so he waited patiently, listening to you tell stories of your last three years, and revelling in the evident joy that you and Jamie share over being together again. When dessert comes around he catches Tommy’s attention and gives him a small smile. It’s fitting that the two brothers, who have been so close their entire lives, would fall in love with best friends. 

Once in his room, he spent two hours stripping you down at an almost painfully slow pace. He kissed every inch of your skin twice over and has pulled five orgasms, and counting, out of you so far. 

Now, Joel is seated in the wide velvet arm chair in the corner of his hotel suite. His cock is buried deep inside of your tight cunt as you straddle him. Your skin feels like butter under his hands as he trails them along your back and the globes of your perfect ass. He’s missed tying you up, but this is what he longed for: the earth shattering intimacy he feels with you in these moments.   

“Please,” you mumble into his neck, desperate to move your hips.

“Not until you answer me,” he demands softly. “How many times was it that you needed me, but were too stubborn to reach out?”

Earlier tonight you told him about the six times you really needed him. He’d kissed you softly after each confession, returning the trust with a time he needed you. After the last one, he’d pulled back to look at you with dark eyes. He’d hated that you needed him and he couldn’t be there. He’d clenched his back molars twice before he said you’d be denied six orgasms the next time you were at the club, but tonight you have permission to come as often as you need to. 

He swats your already reddened ass cheek and your pussy flutters as you cry out. “Mister Miller, stop. Please, just let me move.”

“Do you need to use your safeword?”

“No,” you respond with a pout. 

“How many times?” He says again through gritted teeth, even though already knows the answer. 

“Six,” you sob. 

He tuts and then growls, “That doesn’t sound like my good girl, does it?”

You shake your head against his throat and moan a sound of disagreement.

“Do you want to come for me again?”

“Yes, Mister Miller. Please!”

He trails his fingers up and down your back again, the thin sheen of sweat on your skin makes it easy for him to caress you. He smiles to himself at the shiver that racks through your body at his touch. You react so beautifully to him. “Yeah? You wanna grind your swollen little clit on my piercing, baby girl?”

“Please,” you whine again, stretching out all the vowels in the word.

“Show me. Ride my cock, take what you need.” 

You lift your head from the crook in his neck and pull back slightly, rocking your hips back and forth; a sultry laugh leaves his lips at your eagerness. You look at him with hooded eyes, hair stuck to your forehead. His eyes trail down your neck to the bruises he sucked into your collar bone earlier and then to your breasts; both of which are covered in his marks. He watches the little gold nipple clamps, and the chain that connects them, bounce with each flick of your hips. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. You look like a goddess, my goddess. Who do you belong to?”

“I’m yours, baby,” you say through shallow breaths. He pulls at the chain and you cry out in pain. “S-sorry, Mister Miller.”

“Again, sweet girl. Tell me who you belong to.”

“Oh fuck, y-you, Mist -” his hands come to your face and when he whispers your name the rest of your sentence dies on your tongue.

“Just call me Joel.” The commanding voice of his alter ego is gone as he says it. 

Your hips slow, changing from a frantic back and forth to a sensual swirling motion. “I’m yours, Joel. Forever.”

He kisses you softly, a silent telling of how vulnerable he is at this moment. “Don’t ask me to let you go ever again.”

The smile you give him causes his heart to skip, “I won’t.”

“You might, sweet girl. I won't survive it if you do, so I’m going to remind you of this moment as often as possible for the rest of my life. Remind you how much you’re loved and supported. You’re mine, Freckles.” Your hips swirl and he feels you tighten up around him. “Come for me, my sweet girl.” 

“Fuck, fuck, Joel!” It’s a cry and moan all at once. 

“I’m here, it’s ok, baby.” With that, your body shudders and you fall into him as you shatter. Your pussy clenches and releases rapidly around his length. His cock twitches, and once he can’t hold it anymore he relaxes, letting his orgasm rock through him in time with yours.

“I’m yours, too,” he gasps as he melts into you.

The End

Coming Soon:

Curious how Jamie ended up with her "dads new asshole friend?"

Part 2 of the BDSMaid Trilogy coming mid 2025!

Also, stay tuned for the epilogue for Joel and Sweet Girl.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Good Omens graphic novel update: December 2024

We promised a graphic novel treat for December to send off 2024, which we have at the end of the update, so let's dive in!

Colleen has been working diligently ahead of the graphic novel going to print next month, which she discussed over on Patreon. For those looking for more behind the scenes on both Good Omens and Colleen's work more broadly, we recommend either following her Substack, or subscribing via Patreon, as she approaches the finish line.

A snapshot from our production HQ where dummy books of the graphic novel, slipcase and other editions of Good Omens have been arriving thick and fast. The graphic novel (slipcased version shown) has quite the heft to it. It's going to be such a magnificent object inside and out.

Here, we're testing out the various papers, finishes, embellishments and more – everything is falling into place!

Merch-wise, some more delights. The A.Z. Fell & Co tote bag design is in, one side in celebration of our favourite angelic bookseller, the other as if it's been purchased from the bookshop itself, so you can take your pick.

We've got more pins that will be available in the 3-pin set add ons. While the full list will be available in 2025, we're happy to share a few more to get excited about:

On the trading card front, have a look at some of the base deck designs by Steve Gregson and Kirsty Hunter in situ as this all comes together rather nicely, and causes a heated game or two behind the scenes.

And, a quick admin note to wrap up that we always recommend checking the FAQ page as a first port of call for any queries. If you have questions tied to specific tiers, we'd suggest checking the last few updates if your answer can't be found on the FAQ. If there is any information required for your pledge, we will be in touch. We will be back at full steam in the New Year!

Thank you.

So, to wrap up this year's updates, we give you the draft of the full first scene of the graphic novel, artwork by Colleen Doran and lettering by Lois Buhalis. If you'd like to wait until the graphic novel publishes in Spring, skip everything after the ducks!

To 2025 🥂

Until next time.

+ post from Colleen Doran:

Good Omens: You Get...Stuff Like This

In the most recent Good Omens update at the Kickstarter, a few people got upset at the suggestion that you have to get past my paywall here to see Good Omens updates.

Except you really don't, and the post doesn't actually say you do. You get a bit more, like pics of my studio, a discussion of tools and process - but not all of that is exclusively about Good Omens.

I think the Dunmanifestin team just wanted to draw a little attention to my blogs and other works, for which I am very grateful.

As my Patreon supporters already know, Good Omens info posted here gets to the Substack and Kickstarter eventually. And since most of my posts here aren't just about Good Omens, but my other projects and personal stuff, as well as links to our weekly Virtual Art Studio sessions, I think I'm justified in keeping that material behind a paywall.

In fact, I don't think I've posted much stuff about Good Omens since the summer: pages of flats like the one you see above, a few studio photos, and color tweaks.

Also, me boo-hooing about my nerves and health.

But for those who feel left out missing even this small amount of stuff, then the screen shot above is for you.

That's called a flat.

It's a prelim color before adding final color.

Here's what the final color looks like.

So I've posted a handful of this sort of thing since this summer, but frankly, there's even more of my sketches and so on posted at my Instagram that aren't here at all.

For those who don't know, I am doing most of the color myself on the book, but I am working with assistants. I'm not sure how much the Dunmanifestin team wants out there before the big reveals, but here's a snippet of a sky.

In the first image, my flat color.

And after my assistant worked on it.

Here, I've done a repaint. Sometimes I do very extensive repaints after the assistant works on a page. Sometimes not so much. I didn't use assistants on many pages at all. About 80% of the labor on the color of the book is my work.

However, the assistants have been a big help, and I am very appreciative of them.

I will make a point to go through all my prior posts and get every single bit of art that you haven't seen and make it public for all of you in the coming weeks. I need to excise it from previous posts. As I respect the privacy of all my readers, I never make prior posts public without their permission as they may not want their comments or identities to be public.

Thanks so much for everything!

[citrus-moonlight]

Danger Starts the Sharp Incline

Fandom: MCU - Age of Ultron, Black Panther Pairing: Demon!Klaue x Fem Scientist Reader Chapters: 1 of 1 Word count: 4.5K Rating: Explicit

Summary: At your scientific organization the study of demon energy output has become no less mundane than it would at any other research facility. That is until you find yourself trapped with the demon who has recently shifted in your thoughts from an idle curiosity to a distraction.

Warnings: Explicit Rating!, No Age Specified, PWP, One Shot, Smut, Let Me Be Clear: This Is Absolute Filth, Monster Fucking, Demon Fucking, Could be viewed as Dubcon, Implied Mind Manipulation, But to be clear reader is Into It, Pet Names, Touch Starved Demon, Oral Sex (Fem Receiving), Vaginal Fingering, Big Hands I Know You're the One, Unprotected PIV, Size Kink, Squirting, A Lot of Demon Cum, Like A Lot, Cum Marking, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms (both), Overstimulation, Possessiveness

A/N: Once again, this was supposed to be a quick little smutty thing that ended up getting very, very away from me. This honestly could have been even longer (it was over 5.5k and counting at one point!), but I managed to reign myself in, lol. I almost feel like I have enough for a part two, so who knows, perhaps I'll revisit this AU one day in the future!

This was inspired by the first bit of this absolutely incredible demon/scientist blurb* by @biscuitdragonwithastick, which you should definitely read first (thank you for the ok to go ahead with this!). It fully dug its claws (pun intended?) into my brain and refused let me go. I couldn't stop thinking about a Demon!Klaue AU, and thanks to some lovely encouragement, this is the result!

Please, please mind the tags, my dears, and thank you for reading!

*Demon's name has been changed here to fit the AU

Dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics ❤️

UPDATING TO ADD PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THIS DEMON!KLAUE FANART BY MY INCREDIBLE LOVELY TALENTED FRIEND, truly I have not stopped screaming! 😍🥹💕

Work title is from "All Mine" by Portishead

AO3 Link

Make no mistake You shan't escape Tethered and tied There's nowhere to hide from me All mine You have to be

Klaw’s reaction continues to be noted by the higher-ups, and eventually it’s decided that they want to conduct an experiment, using you.

The next time you’re scheduled on the cleaning rotation they want to take the opportunity to determine if there’s a measurable difference in output and chemical composition - before and after you’ve been in the room with him.

“Just consider what it might mean to the future of energy research”, they’d said. “It could lead to the discovery of a demon-sensitive pheromone additive that boosts energy output across the board.”

Although you flush at the outward acknowledgement of what’s been happening, you can’t deny that it intrigues you.

Especially since you had started dreaming about him.

Since you’d stopped being able to control how wet you got when you observed him.

Since the self-consciousness you’d felt at the sidelong glances of your colleagues had started feeling like something else. 

Something like pride.

* * * * * *

Two days later you’re scheduled for the night shift alone, with not much else to do but make the occasional note in the shift log and wait for the alarm that indicates the mare’s collection tank is full. So you wait. 

And watch.

For the first time you have a chance to really just look at him, and you’re finding it difficult to pay attention to the instruments that you should be monitoring. Your eyes instead are continually drawn back to the observation window and the thick mop of black curls that falls across his forehead where his horns emerge, sharp features are framed by the scruff of a dark beard, and an intriguing mix of tattoos, brands and scars play across the planes and curves of his body.

Although his muscles aren’t as chiseled as many of the demons you've observed in this facility his shoulders and arms are thick, and you unconsciously lick your lips as your eyes follow the dark hair that covers his broad chest and abdomen down to where it meets the wiry hair at the base of his cock.

A slick warmth has been slowly pooling between your thighs since you settled into your chair at the beginning of the shift, but as you watch the bored pumping of his hips fall into a smoother, swaying rhythm, that warmth ignites.

Widening his stance, hooved feet brace on the floor as he pulls out further before thrusting back in, letting you watch his cock slide slowly back into the machine’s opening, burying himself with a jutting roll of his hips, over and over. Almost teasing. 

Almost taunting.

This could be you.

It’s only when Klaw drags his hands along the metal “body” of the mare that you notice it: The claws of the first three fingers of his right hand seem to be…gone? 

With a flicker of concern you flip a switch on the console, using the camera to zoom in. 

Ok, no, they’re not gone per se, but they’re definitely shorter, nearly down to the quick. Was it an accident? Did they break in a fervor as he fucked the contraption? 

Frowning at the screen your mind turns over the possibilities, but before you can think to add the peculiarity to your notes your thoughts fizzle away when you glance back up to the observation window and see that he’s watching you.

As soon as your eyes meet his the tease in his movements falls away and he’s bottoming out hard against the opening in a rough, stuttered rhythm as his eyes cloud over, and you know from past observation that he’s nearing the edge.

Your inner muscles clench and the ache that’s been building since you walked in here swells and overlaps with a flaring jealousy when Klaw shudders and growls, filling the receptacle with another thick load of his seed.

You don’t even realize that you stood up until you feel the cool glass of the observation window beneath your palms, your breath fogging the surface as you press yourself against the barrier.

There’s still a slow, uneven cadence to the demon’s thrusts following his climax, but his gaze swiftly sharpens on you again when one of your hands drifts idly across your stomach, then lower, fingers brushing over the top button of your pants-

-and then you jump when a shrill sound interrupts you, nearly growling at the surge of frustration.

The alarm is piercing and incessant and won’t stop until you enter the demon’s room, so you return to the control panel to activate the sigil that will keep him contained while you clean and recalibrate the machine - tests having shown that a laser projection of the correct wavelength of light is just as effective as a physical binding.

Once you’re through the airlock you quickly set to working through the checklist, unhooking the mechanism that feeds into tanks in the floor and connecting it to a fresh one. You move on to cleaning the unfeeling hole that the demon fucks into day in and day out, your breath going shallow at the jealousy that continues to singe your nerves. 

His gaze stays entirely focused on you as you move around, cock swaying heavily in front of  broad thighs - still hard, always hard - the still leaking head so dark it’s nearly purple. 

The slick between your thighs has only increased since you started to work, fairly certain that you’ve soaked through your panties at this point, and when you have to pass closer to his “cage” he leans forward, nearly pressing himself against the barrier as he follows your path.

Inhaling deeply his cock twitches, more cum dripping from the tip as he ruts at the air, and you can't help but wonder if he’s picking up your frustrated arousal.

“Hurry up.” you chide yourself. “Stop getting distracted. Just finish your shit and get out.”

Kneeling down behind the machine you open the access panel and flip through the menus until you find the one that will complete the calibration, and while you’re focused on watching it cycle you don’t notice the outer door open from the hall into the observation room. 

The intern who enters must not see you where you’re kneeling on the floor, and evidently thinking that the trap has been left on in error he flips the switch to deactivate it.

When the light from the beaming sigil goes dark you pop up in alarm, the face of the intern frozen in an almost comedic grimace of horror when he finally registers that you’re staring back at him from the wrong side of the glass. 

The man reaches for the switch again but Klaw’s reflexes are faster, and before the trap can be reactivated the demon rushes the door. Slamming his shoulder against it he jams it so thoroughly they'll need to bring in special equipment to get it open again, but at this time of night it'll be hours, if you’re lucky, before a crew gets here.

Then he rounds on you.

With an oddly warm sense of detachment you think that you should feel fear as you watch the slow grin spread across his face, but the only thing you feel is a surge of hot, aching desire. 

He rumbles something you don’t understand, though the rough texture of his words is still intoxicating, and before you realize what you’re doing you’re walking towards him, pulling your shirt over your head as you move. 

Because right now you find that you want - need - to bare yourself for him, the sensation of it intense that your skin feels like it’s going to scald if you don’t get your clothes off now, and your shoes, pants and underwear quickly join the discarded pile on the floor.

Stopping in front of him you reach back to unclasp your bra, but your arms pause mid-way when Klaw’s hand reaches out, your breath hitching when he hooks a large, clawed finger beneath your chin, tilting your head up so that your eyes meet his.

You’d always assumed that his eyes were black, but this close you realize that they’re actually an impossibly deep blue, a blue that only resides along the penumbra of light and shadow where the last rays of sun reach into the depths of the ocean

You stand mesmerized as his hand dips lower, leaving behind a trail of gooseflesh as a claw trails gently down the delicate skin of your neck and chest, and then with a flick of his wrist the last scrap of fabric covering you gives way, exposing your breasts to the cool air.  

You’ve barely shrugged off the ruined garment when suddenly you’re being picked up - so, so easily - and placed on a table, swiftly reminded of how much larger and stronger he is than you, and once again dimly aware that you should feel fear, or dread, or some instinct telling you to run.

Not of the shiver of anticipation that leaves your breath hitching in your chest. 

Definitely not the wild need blooming in your core as sharp teeth ghost along the place where your blood thrums, his breath hot and his skin hotter.

His mouth continues its path downward, pausing to lick at the soft swell of your breasts, taking a moment to pull and pluck at your nipples with his lips. A pleased growl vibrates against your skin when you lean back onto your hands with a moan, arching into the swirl of his tongue around your pebbled flesh. 

It’s not long, though, before he can no longer ignore the way this increases the heated musk between your thighs, leaving behind a wet trail of saliva as his mouth travels down, seeking the place where you’re already dripping for him.

The demon's hands nearly wrap entirely around your thighs yet his touch is almost cautious as he presses you open, mesmerized by the way you unfold for him like the petals of a flower, slick and shining.

HIs eyes are heavy lidded as thick fingers begin to tease through your folds, toying with your clit, surprising you with how softly he rolls it between thumb and forefinger, a grin curving the corner of his mouth when your hips buck into his touch.

Noting your reaction he repeats the motion, gently pinching and rolling the sensitive bud until your mouth drops open and your breath is coming in sharp gasps, his dark eyes staying fixed between your legs as thick fingers coax a warm, honeyed orgasm from you, leaving you keening and startled by the slow intensity of it.

You’ve barely caught your breath when you feel his mouth suddenly envelop your mound, lapping eagerly at your release as you whine and writhe beneath his tongue, overwhelmed at the stimulation.

It’s too much, all of this is too much, but as he continues licking and suckling at your sensitive flesh you find that you’re no longer fighting it, the hum of bliss that hadn’t yet faded already building to a fresh swell, and when his lips capture your clit with a sudden fluttering pressure your body stiffens as your second orgasm flares through you, sharper and brighter than the first. 

When he finally releases you he speaks again, but through the haze of afterglow it takes a moment for it to register that this time you think that you understand him, the word seeming to appear within your mind at the same time that you hear it from his glistening lips.

“Sweet.” 

With a start you look down at him and he pauses, head tilting, curiosity knitting his heavy brows. 

Not moving his eyes from yours, his voice is a low, tentative purr when he speaks again.

“Would your sweet cunt like..more?”

Holy fuck. You can understand him.

Your thoughts spin as the shock works its way through you, the analytical part of your mind attempting to parse what the fuck is happening. Is it the increased time in his proximity? The physical contact? Whatever the mechanism, you can suddenly hear- or perhaps more accurately feel - his words, somewhere deep in your conscience.

A firm nod, then, in answer to his question, a responding pull of his lips into a slow, pleased grin.

Dipping his head Klaw licks a broad, wet stripe up your cleft, and then he’s devouring you, slavering hungrily against your sex, drool mixing with your arousal as his lips and tongue work your aching bundle of nerves until you’re gasping shallow breaths, every muscle strung taught as you hover on the edge once more.

Seeking for an anchor your hands find his curved horns, warm and leathery beneath your scrabbling fingers, and then with a rasping cry you’re coming in long, surging waves, your entire body trembling as your hips chase every flutter of pleasure on the tip of his tongue. 

Dimly you think that he must be satisfied now, that you must be satisfied, yet it seems as though with every climax you only hunger more intensely for the next. 

Once your hands release his horns and fall limp at your sides Klaw straightens up, and then wrapping his hand around his cock he starts roughly stroking himself. 

Almost without thinking your legs fall open, shaky arms pulling your knees back to expose yourself to him, knowing he can see how your soaked cunt still clenches through the last waves of your orgasm, and it’s only a few more strokes before he’s coming with a rough jerk of his hips and you gasp at the heat, thick ropes of cum streaking across your slick folds and the insides of your thighs.  

Still breathing hard, the pumping of his fist gradually slows, a hand drifting along the curve of your inner thigh as his focus comes back to you. Gathering some of the sticky mess he left between your legs he drags it through your folds, and then suddenly a thick finger is sliding into you.

Even as you gasp at the intrusion you begin to understand that he had actually done it on purpose: Biting down those claws himself because, it seems, he had been thinking about this.

The realization that it was for you leaves your entire body humming, and as your hips cant up to meet the slow, almost teasing thrusts, there’s only one word that swells and ripens in your mind, uncertain whether it’s your word or his even as it falls from your lips.

“More.”

A knowing glint flashes in his eyes at your soft plea, and almost immediately you feel a second finger slipping against you. Just teasing his fingertips at your entrance at first he lets your juices slick them before pressing into you, both fingers together nearly as thick as a human cock.

You moan as he continues to slide them in and out of you, and just as you begin to sink into the ache of it, you moan low in your throat when suddenly he’s adding a third.

The heady pressure of him working three fingers into your already stretched hole is overwhelming, and you’re unsure whether you want to throw yourself towards the sensation or resist it, your body arching into him, yet tensing and pulling away at the same time.

But then he’s pressing you down onto the table, his hand nearly spanning the width of your chest to hold you in place as his fingers continue nudging deeper.

“Where are you going, little one? Going to have to take it if you want my cock." 

As if to emphasize his words he drags his erection against the inside of your thigh with a grunted sigh, a fresh streak of precum adding to the mess that he’s already left on you.

Because of course you do, and he knows it, has known it since you stopped being able to look away from his hunched form as he fucked into his mechanical mate, a warm curiosity growing into a distracting need.

And you know that he could have taken you at any time, could have forced himself into you as soon as your clothes were a forgotten pile on the floor. But instead, he’s been preparing you to take him properly, making you come until the only thing you know is his mouth and his fingers and you’re soft and trembling and ravenous.

“God yes.” You spread your legs wide again, giving him an obscene view of where his fingers are sinking into you, slick sounds filling the room as they pump faster now.

“There you go.” He croons above you. “Made for this, hmm?" 

Any attempt at a response trails into a choked cry when he finds that soft, needy spot deep inside you, a fresh, pulsing heat spreading through your already exhausted body as he takes you apart once more. Still pinned beneath his hand you’re unable to do anything but allow it to wash through you, shaking and whimpering as he continues to drag firm, curling strokes against your clenching walls.

Leaning down Klaw presses his face into your heaving chest, and your nipples tighten and ache as he licks languorously between your breasts, his huffed breath is hot against your skin.

As your senses filter back in your hands slowly begin to move, exploring the corded muscles of his neck and shoulders, trembling fingers tugging and sliding through his hair, and then up and over his horns again.

Letting your eyes slip closed you take in the ridged curve of them, a velvety pleasure blooming in your chest when he inhales sharply, cock throbbing against your thigh when your fingers wrap around the base of them.

Finally pulling his fingers out of you he tugs you up, turning around and repositioning you so that you’re straddling his broad hips as best you can. Strong hands support you, encouraging you to slide your slick folds along his shaft, a giddy sort of panic stuttering in your chest at the sudden awareness of the size of him where he twitches between your thighs.

Desperate whines that may as well be prayers slide from your throat when he lifts you higher and you feel the thick, bulbous head of his cock nudging against your entrance, the only words falling from your lips a whispered litany of “Oh my god oh my god oh my god."

“I’m not your God, little one,” he growls softly, words distorted as if you're hearing them through a sediment of granite and blood. "But you will worship me."

“Yes. Yes..Oh fuck, please.” 

Beneath your lilting plea you dimly hear gritted curses and words of encouragement as you circle your hips, your arousal making a slick mess of his cock.

You can't help how eagerly your hips rock down, seeking more, so lost in the sensations that you're unprepared when a hard press of your hips matches his upward thrust, and the thick head of his cock suddenly ruts up into you, and when he slips past the tight ring of muscle the feral sound from deep in your chest nearly matches his.

Panting open mouthed you hold him there before rising up, slowly, slowly, letting him slip out of you before sinking down to take him back in. You feel weightless beneath the obsidian glint in his eyes as he watches you repeat the motion again, and again, his arms helping you move as you start to shake from the effort of riding just the head of his cock.

Even now there’s something warm and urgent drawing your hand lower, and you’re unable to help feeling pleased when his eyes go heavy as his gaze follows your fingers down to where they press against your clit.

“So..needy.” he rumbles. “Better than I imagined.”

“You..imagined?” You pant, attempting to sound coy, but your words are thick with lust as you continue to roll your hips, forcing yourself down further down his length. 

Your movements are becoming less controlled now, and when your fingers slip and brush against his shaft you whimper at how fucking big he feels where he's stretching you open, and how much of him is still outside of you.

You can feel every slick ridge and vein beneath your hand, and as you slide it along his length the muscles of his thighs tense and flex beneath you, his breathing going rough as your messy strokes continue.

“Look at you taking my cock,” Klaw grits, the demon’s hips beginning to stutter up in short, sharp thrusts. “Such a good little pet.” 

His words trail into a low growl that vibrates through your body as you feel a hard throb beneath your hand, and then heat.

You gasp, continuing to writhe as he spills into you, coating your inner walls with his thick seed, and almost you feel as though you could come again just from the heat of it.

Fuck, you need more of that.

Need it deeper.

Even as the pulsing beneath your fingers slows he doesn't stop moving, finally coming inside of you seeming only to have tipped his need to fevered desire. Holding you in place he thrusts up harder, dislodging your hand, and you can feel his spend leaking out of you, dripping down the insides of your thighs and slicking his still hard cock as he continues to drive deeper, no longer letting you set the pace. 

“This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” He taunts, voice still a rough half-whisper after his orgasm. “Could feel it when you watched me. Wanted me to fill your little cunt, hmm?”

“Yes.” You let out a growled sob, jealous anger surging through you. ”That..thing, doesn’t fucking deserve it.”

A flame crackles in Klaw’s eyes at your heated words, and you wonder with a jolt of awareness whether he hasn’t been just as desperate for this as you have, longing for you as he remained trapped in the torment of a cold, unfeeling machine. Driven purely by instinct, chasing his release over and over again but never being truly satisfied.

The sudden realization that you could give that to him floods you with almost as much pleasure as the agony of being filled with his cock.

You’ve barely processed the thought when you suddenly find yourself with your back once again pressed against the cool metal of the table, Klaw only pulling out of you briefly before thrusting back in, harder.

He continues a slow, controlled rhythm, both of you panting hard as you feel yourself softening around him, becoming more pliant as your body relents to every stroke until with a final arching rock of his hips your cunt is completely stretched and full, everything so impossibly tight that you can’t even clench around him.

He's never felt anything quite like you, the achingly tight grip of your pussy leaving him nearly breathless as he holds himself as deep as he can, huffing and grunting like a bull while he watches you writhe and spasm beneath him.

Then he starts to fuck you.

He tries to keep his strokes firm and measured at first, but he can’t hold back anymore and it's not long before his chest is heaving, lips curled in a snarl, and it feels as though you're being split open as he pulls you back onto his cock in time to meet every thrust. 

A scarlet thread runs through every cell of your soft animal body, stringing tighter and tighter as pleasure builds to the edge of breaking but then surging higher, a fresh ecstasy building on every peak. 

The tightening grip around your waist signals the absolute loss of his control and when you hiss at the sudden piercing bite of his claws he moves his hands to brace on the table instead, his broad body forcing your legs back towards your shoulders as he leans down over you, driving his cock as deep as he can get into your willing heat until he’s grunting and drooling above you. 

A divine bliss slides through your veins as you lie beneath him, caught between the trammel of his arms, and as you watch his base instinct take over you begin to understand that only fools could believe that lust is a sin. 

And even if it was, even if you were offered perfect grace in this moment, you know with absolute certainty that you would refuse.

An infernal dam is finally swelling to breaking as you surrender to every relentless thrust of his cock, your wailed sobs the only sounds you can make as an impossible pressure ripples through your core, and with a deep throb you suddenly feel a drenching heat as your release washes over his cock and your thighs. 

“There you go.” Klaw growls. “Make a mess for me, little one.” 

This seems to be his final undoing, and as you continue to soak his cock his thrusting goes ragged until with rough groan he’s coming deep inside you, stilling himself to keep the head of his cock pressed against the deepest part of you, making sure that you feel every hot, throbbing pulse of his cum as it fills you.

Keeping himself seated deep he rocks slow grinding thrusts into the slippery mess he’s made of his you, the lust that’s had no real outlet finally finding satisfaction in the way your clenching cunt is milking his cock, in the gentle swell of your belly as he pumps you full of his seed.

You’re a sweaty, twitching mess beneath him, and as much as you wish you could you’re unable to take all of it, can’t help how it spills out around his cock where you’re stretched and sore, how his cum and yours drips down your swollen sex to pool beneath you on the table.

His hands don't stop moving over your body, cupping your breasts, grasping at you hips, sliding over the ripe swell of you where he can feel you filled with his cock and his cum. Vaguely aware of soft grunts mixed with mumbled praise, you don’t register what he’s saying at first through the haze of euphoria.

“Going to be mine.” he rumbles, between languorous strokes. ”My little queen.” 

“Mine.”

* * * * * * *

The room is warm and flickering, silken sheets decadent beneath your fingers, your body thrumming with a heated anticipation that never seems to fade, now.

Rough hands lift your hips as your demon mounts you from behind, a hand placed firmly between your shoulder blades, pressing you down into the mattress.

A panting whine slides from your throat as he spreads you open, the thick head of his cock prodding your entrance, pleased to see you’re still dripping with his seed from the last time he filled you. And he doesn’t like leaving you empty for very long.

“Say it again, little one.” Klaw growls softly, holding himself still. Waiting.

“Yours.” 

You sigh, a smile curling around the word as he pushes into you.

“I’m yours.”

A/N: As ever, thank you for reading! This was definitely a bit outside my comfort zone, but I hope you enjoyed this filthy little foray into monster fuckery. 😊

[frog-necromancer]

Betting on a Losing Dog

Masterlist

Read on Ao3

Chapter 7: Too well loved to ever be forgotten

Logan/fem!reader

Summary: The final chapter of this story. You can guess what happens.

Also I would die for every single one of those mutant children.

I made myself cry while writing this and I hope you like it as much as I do. It's not perfect but it's my longest finished work yet and I'm proud of it. Also I'm already planning a sequel and prequel, so stay tuned! Love you <3

Likes and comments are always appreciated!

Chapter: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

Tags:

#drug abuse and addiction #swearing #angst #anger issues #main character death (it’s Logan sorry babes) #fluff and smut #kissing #alcohol abuse  #graphic description of violence and injuries #heavy angst #biting #thigh riding #oral (f receiving) #p in v sex #unprotected sex (wrap it up)  #attempt at humor #spending time as a family #intrusive thoughts #some gore #hurt no comfort (maybe a little comfort) #found family #marriage!?!! #self harm (skin picking) #throwing up #depression  #smoking #references to Christianity and religion #video game references #road trip 

Too well loved to ever be forgotten

They made their way back to the car, continuing more or less like nothing had happened.  They had no choice but to. 

Logan seemed even more exhausted now, his head bobbing as he fell asleep momentarily. 

Hours passed.

The old mutant was on the verge of falling asleep, his head jerking forward as he closed his eyes for a second or two before pulling himself together, trying to focus on the dusty road ahead. Laura had to reach for the wheel so as to not have them drive off the road. He was barely awake, barely alive it seemed. The landscape had changed. From lush forests to dusty brown wastelands, only few greenery adorned the lands. A couple of small, lonely trees and bushes here and there. The little chapel had seemed like a haven in all of this.

F/N was dozing in the back, head resting against the dirty glass, bobbing with each bump in the road. Even in sleep she kept holding onto Logan's cheap ring. 

He made a silent promise to get her a nicer one, 

Once this all was over. 

He was glad that she finally got some rest. Laura said something in Spanish but Logan didn't understand. She repeated herself in English: “Let me drive.” She sounded determined but Logan scoffed: “absolutely not.” Laura kept staring at him but the older mutant didn't budge: “stop looking at me.” Laura turned around to look out of the open window, again saying something in Spanish. Logan huffed, eyes on the road: “No comprende.”

Laura turned back around, looking straight at him, eyes wise way beyond her years: “You are dying.” It was a statement, not a question. Logan stayed silent, he didn't want to have this conversation. 

Not now. 

Not ever. 

Laura continued: “You want to die.” The air shifted, tense with unspoken words. Finally Logan spared her a glance, he was secretly glad that F/N seemed to be asleep. “Charles told me” Laura said, voice softer than usual, Logan grunted quietly: “What else did he tell you?” The young girl paused for a movement before finally answering: “To not let you.” 

Logan didn't respond, he felt too tired, his head bobbing forward yet again. Laura reached for the wheel but he protested: “Hey, hey, hey!”

The car came to a halt off the road, bumping and shaking. Laura was persistent, her eyes fierce: “Rest”, this time Logan didn't even try to fight it, slumping to the side. His head fell against the headrest of the other seat. 

—

The sun was just about to set when F/N woke from her slumber, feeling surprisingly well rested considering the situation. Her bleary eyes found Logan in the front, his head was resting on Laura's lap as he slept. It wasn't a peaceful sleep but sleep nonetheless. 

F/N hummed, alerting Laura: “I'm glad you could convince him to get some sleep. He would have driven us off a cliff sooner than later.” Laura nodded, she was silent for a moment. “Why do you like him so much?” She finally asked. F/N paused, thinking. Where should she even start. “He- he wasn't always like this…uhm…always drinking and being a mean grump, you know? Well he's always been a little grumpy but his heart was in the right place.” She reached forward to push a strand of gray hair out of his rugged face. He didn't even stir. “He always fought for what is right. Trying to save who he could. He was there when it mattered the most.” Laura listened, not quite understanding but she trusted F/N. She'd been nothing but kind to her. 

F/N sighed. “Let's get you to North Dakota, alright?” She spoke, with Laura's help they carefully relocated Logan to the back of the care. The old mutant was fast asleep and F/N thought that in this state nothing could wake him.

—

The drive to the border was mostly spent in silence, with F/N retelling some of her favorite stories with Logan. Some of which were heroic, others silly, but she wanted to let Laura see the whole picture that was Logan. Not just the bitter man he was right now, but his soft core and good heart too. He was her Logan, her everything. 

He had saved her from herself.

—

The sun was high in the sky, burning down on Logan’s face when he finally awoke. He found himself alone in the car. With a groan he pulled himself up, he still felt exhausted and disoriented. And where the hell were F/N and Laura? He coughed as he stumbled out of the car. The once turquoise surface now covered in brown dust and dirt. 

He wasn't sure where he was going, each step more exhausting than the last. He was staggering dangerously, he looked around. He was in the middle of nowhere, a high cliff In front of him, too steep to climb without help. His mind was swimming and his vision blurring, his throat was dry and scratchy. Where the fuck was he? 

Finally he saw Laura on a stone plateau a little higher up, she was calling him in Spanish, waving him over. His gaze wandered high, on the top of the canyon was an abandoned wild fire lookout, children were occupying the old building. They had made it.

 “Logan?” He would have recognised that voice anywhere, his F/N. He knew he would be alright, he knew he could let go. 

He let himself fall forward, his body hitting the ground with a muffled thud. 

—

Logan was tied to a board, a hundred feet in the air over the Box Canyon. Above him, F/N was holding her breath as the kids haul him up on a rope, only supported by some kind of rusty looking crane. 

She let out a sigh of relief as his conveyance reached the top. The children swarmed around him, crowding him. There were about ten of them, some older, some younger than Laura, all looking down at him like they caught the biggest fish ever. They were all mutant children. Among them were Laura and next to her F/N, who was giving him a reassuring smile as he faded out of consciousness again. 

F/N followed close behind as they carried him to a run down looking building, a faded sign on it read ‘CAMP ANOLJEET’ it reminded F/N of something, as if she'd seen this place before. Well a comic version of it at least. This was the place from Laura’s book, or a run down version of it anyway.

She followed them into the building, Logan was being put on a dusty bed and F/N wished she'd still have her first aid kit. 

—

“You're Ghost, right?” F/N looked down at the boy in surprise. He was about ten, a Wolverine action figure in his hands. She nodded softly, she hadn't expected any of the kids to recognise her. “Yeah that's me…or was me.”, She murmured. The boy's eyes lit up with childish excitement: “You're amazing Mrs Ghost! My name's Bobby! I'm a huge fan of you and the Wolverine!” A tired smile tugged at her lips at his words: “Well it's always nice to meet a fan, Bobby. But please just call me F/N, alright!” She hadn't expected his smile to grow even wider, pearly whites sparkling: “Yes! Of course Mrs Ghost- I mean F/N! Is it true that you fought against Magneto?” F/N nodded softly, taking a seat on a free bed. She glanced at Logan, the children were taking care of him, and there was nothing she could do for him at the moment. She hummed: “Well without his helmet he wasn't all that strong. But there was also a time when he almost got me. It was a really close call but Logan saved me.” She explained and Bobby nodded, sucking in every word she spoke like a sponge. Some of the other kids seemed to be listening too, but F/N didn't mind.

They talked for a little while longer, Bobby introduced her to some of the others. 

Rebecca, a girl with dirty-blonde hair, Delilah with her dark eyes, a boy who resembled a lizard named Felix and finally Rictor, a 14 year old boy and the self proclaimed leader of the group of children.

“Thank you for getting Laura here safely”, it was Rictor, he was overseeing the others taking care of Logan. F/N looked up at him in surprise, still sitting on the bunk bed. Laura was leaning against her, half asleep: “Don't thank me. I wasn't much help” Rictor shook his head. “You're here with her now. She told me how you fought X-24.” F/N huffed: “It wasn't much of a fight…but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. For her and for Logan.” Rictor nodded at that, glancing at the now fully asleep Laura. “Are you tired?”, He asked and F/N nodded softly, she'd driven with Laura through the night and unlike Logan she didn't have a healing factor, not even a malfunctioning one. Sure, she could find someone and drain some of their energy, but she’d feel terrible. These kids needed all of the strength they had, after all they weren't out of the woods yet. 

“Rest for a while. We'll take care of your Logan” F/N hesitated for a moment but when she saw how Delilah froze a piece of cloth to keep Logan comfortable, she knew he'd be in good hands. She also didn't have much of a choice as her eyes fluttered: “Alright. But wake me immediately if you need me.” Rictor nodded and with that F/N laid down on the bed, getting comfortable on the thin mattress, Laura sound-asleep next to her. It took only a couple of minutes for her to fall asleep too.

—

Logan’s hazel eyes fluttered open, he found himself on a bed, his body weak and his eyelids heavy. 

“Is this good, Rictor?”

He heard the voice of a boy ask, but he couldn't see what they were doing.

“No, not so much. Less.”, Another boy replied, he sounded a little older.

What the fuck were they talking about?

Delilah came into his field of vision. She brought a wet cloth for Logan, but before she handed it to him, she held it under her breath, freezing it into an ice pack for his battered ribs. 

He grabbed her hand, stopping her from placing the ice pack: “Hey!” She froze in her movements before quickly taking a few steps back, something akin to fear filled her dark brown eyes.

He coughed, looking around, trying to assess the situation: “Where am I?” 

No answer. A few more coughs wreck through Logan's body

He looked around, he saw the kids scattered in the room and on the bunk beds. Some of them sleeping, or reading. Others were busy with tasks like cleaning cutlery. A few of them seemed to be tending to him.

His bloodshot eyes found the green vial in Felix’ hand. He grabbed the object rudely from the boy’s hands, squinting to read the label: “Hey, what is this?” His voice was laced with anger, Felix took a step back, fear written all over his lizard-like face. And although Logan would never willingly hurt a child, these kids didn't know that. How could they.

He was nothing but an old barking dog. Too sick to bite.

“Where did you get that?” Logan asked, voice gruff, his breathing heavy. Rictor answered, he kept his voice even, diplomatic: “Where we came from. They gave it to us.” He bravely took a couple of steps forward: “When we would fight. It makes you stronger.” Logan tried to lift his head but it fell down on the pillow: “It makes you crazy, is what it does. It'll kill you.” Rictor seemed unimpressed: “No, not if you use it in small doses. It's helping you heal.” Logan gave up. It did make him feel a little stronger, but he didn't need to admit that.

“Where’s F/N and Laura?”, he grunted eventually.

“They're asleep down there.” Bobby replied from up on a bunk bed. “Do you want me to wake them up?” Logan let his gaze wander below the boy. There in a tangle of limbs and blankets lay F/N with Laura loosely in her arms. His heart clenched painfully. They looked so peaceful. He coughed softly: “No.” Again he was overcome by darkness.

—

“Mrs. Ghost. I mean F/N. Laura, wake up please.” It was Bobby, his hand was softly pushing against F/N's shoulder. “What is it? Is everything alright?” she slurred, voice heavy with sleep. She quickly sat up, looking around to make sure there was no immediate danger. Bobby nodded as Laura crawled out from under F/N's arm, blinking slowly like a cat might: “It's time for dinner.” 

F/N found herself at a campfire. Children were chattering and the smell of grilled sausages as well as vegetables filled the air. F/N filled a plate for herself and another one for Logan, she'd bring it to him.

“He's not like I imagined…” It was Rictor, F/N looked up from the sausage she was currently trying to grill, but it didn't go very well. She could tell that one halfway was burned and the other almost raw. (If you don’t like meat it’s veggie of course) F/N hummed softly, keeping her gaze on the flames: “The last few years haven't been kind to him…but deep down he's still the X-Men he used to be.” Rictor nodded, sitting down next to her on a log: “I'm not so sure about that…we- we don’t know who our donors are for the most part. But of course we all hope that they were heroes…good people, you know?” F/N nodded softly, rotating her sausage, she understood him all too well. “Some of our parents were most likely not good people. We..we don’t wanna be like them.” F/N sighed softly “I get, I think…Never meet your heroes and all…but I can guarantee you that your parents don't define you. Sometimes it's easier said than done but try to go your own way.”

—

When F/N stepped into the cabin, Logan wasn't alone. Laura was with him, they were talking in hushed voices. She could see Laura reach for his hand, before leaving the room. She silently put the plate next to Logan on the little wooden bedside table, having to push aside some medical supplies. “How are you feeling?”, She asked, not sure if he was even still awake. “Like shit. But I'll live” He murmured gruffly, eyes closed. “Are you hungry? I’ve got half sausage and corn. I'm even giving you the not burned half” She offered, in an attempt to lighten the mood, whatever he and Laura had been talking about, hadn't been nice. It did seem to work a little though. Now that they were this close to reaching their goal. 

“I'm not very hungry, but I don't mind some company”, Logan mumbled, patting the cramped space beside him. F/N hummed, silently laying down next to him. The wooden bed frame creaked under the extra weight. “Sleep well, Logan”, She murmured but Logan's breathing had already become steady, lost in the land of sleep.

This time he didn't have a nightmare.

—

Logan was still half asleep. The sound of snipping all around him. Very close to his mouth. Something was tickling his face and beard. Children were giggling. Maybe it was F/N. He kept his eyes closed, too tired to care.

—

When he fully awoke he found himself alone on the small bed, but not in the room. He couldn't feel F/N's warmth next to him and for a moment it scared him. Children were giggling and laughing as he tried to make sense of the situation. He looked up. F/N was standing among the laughing children. Excited grins on all of their faces. Even Laura was laughing. 

F/N realised that they had needed tha, a moment of humor and lightheartedness. At first she had wanted to stop them from cutting his beard but at the end of the day, it was innocent fun and the smile on all of their faces was totally worth it. She could have melted when she heard Laura's little laugh. Logan's disdain at his new, or should she say old, beard cut was a small price to pay for their childish happiness.

Logan checked his face in a dusty mirror on the wall, having to clean it with his hand first: “Not funny. That is not funny!” His voice reminded F/N of his days as teacher at the institute when the kids would pull yet another prank on him. His gaze found F/N amongst the still giggling children: “You- You shouldn't be supporting this kind of behavior.” He scolded, but there was no real anger behind his words. F/N simply shrugged.

—

Logan huffed following Rictor and F/N outside. The sun had just risen over the horizon, the light still soft: “How long have I been out? How long have I been in that bed?” Logan was far from amused. Rictor stayed unimpressed: “Two days.” He replied, not looking at him “You've been sitting here for two days?” It was clear that Logan wasn't happy with this revelation. F/N reached for his shoulder, while Rictor ordered the others to get packing. Logan was getting irritated at his lack of urgency: “You can't do that, you can't just stay here.” F/N squeezed his shoulder. “They had to wait. It was their plan.”, She spoke softly. Logan swatted her hand away, but not roughly. He kept arguing with Rictor, telling him that they needed to leave as soon as possible or they would be killed. F/N stayed silent, she knew he was right but she also knew how important it was to keep promises. 

—

Laura was high up on the wildfire tower, looking through the giant binoculars that had been installed there. F/N watched her through squinted eyes while Logan freshened up back in the cabin. “

“F/N?” She looked down at Bobby and Delilah. “Would you like to play soccer with us?” The girl was holding a rough looking ball in her hands. F/N nodded, smile tugging at her lips: “Sure!”

—

When Logan left the cabin, his eyes immediately fell on F/N, she was smiling and laughing, kicking a ball with two of the children. To anyone who didnt know her, she looked carefree and happy, but Logan recognized the lingering sadness in her pretty E/c eyes. 

He watched as the lizard boy shyly walked over to her, asking if he could play too. F/N welcomed him into the game with open arms. It tugged at his heartstrings. It was just like back at the mansion. 

When F/N noticed him she gave him a little wave and a smile that was reserved only for him. He waved back before making his way up to the wildfire tower where he'd spotted Laura at the binoculars.

—

That night Logan joined them for dinner at the campfire. Sitting next to F/N on an old log and enjoying the calm before the storm. His hand found F/N's, giving it a gentle squeeze. “This ain't too bad, is it?”, He whispered, for her ears alone. She hummed, enjoying the feeling of her hand in his as he traced his thumb over her skin: “It's like the camping trips we used to go on with the students.” She chuckled softly Logan grunted: “Don't remind me, my back still hurts from those uncomfortable mattresses” F/N hummed, rubbing his back: “My poor Logie” she mused softly. He huffed, faux annoyed at her playful teasing. 

As he looked around he noticed Bobby staring at him. He hadn't talked to the boy yet as it was with most of the children. His tired eyes found the Wolverine action figure clutched in his small hands. As the boy saw that he had noticed his staring he quickly looked away, avoiding his gaze. F/N noticed the small exchange, giving Logan a little nudge: “He's a fan of yours.” She whispered. Logan sighed softly, nodding.

He turned back to Bobby who was looking at him shyly. “Hey! Bobby, right?” Bobby nodded, caught off guard that the Wolverine was talking to him. Logan continued, a little awkward: “Cool action figure” A shy smile broke out on Bobby's face, his dark eyes sparkling. “Thanks…”, He muttered sheepishly, but clearly happy.

—

While F/N stayed at the fire, Logan retreated to the cabin early, needing a moment for himself to think and rest. 

Why did he care so much? He only met Laura like a week ago. All that mattered now was F/N and her safety. He couldn't afford to care about some random mutant kids, as much as they reminded him of the students at the institute.

—

Sunlight was filtering through the holey curtains when Logan awoke. What time was it? Where was F/N? He remembered faintly how she had crawled into bed with him last night. The sheets still smelled like her. His mind went back to the fight he'd had with Laura before that. When she'd come to him and he had pushed her away, making her feel like he didn't care. Which was a lie, of course. A lie to protect himself from heartache and pain. 

A lie to protect F/N.

He got up from the bed, noticing a note from Rictor. ‘not all at once’ The piece of paper lay next to the familiar green vial. He sighed, changing from the dinosaur t-shirt he’d slept in into something more practical.   

After that he left the cabin. There was no trace of the children, they must have left at the break of dawn. The only trace of their stay seemed to be the ball that F/N and some of the kids had played with the day before. 

He looked around, finally his eyes fell on F/N, a soft sigh of relief left his lips. She hadn't left him.

She was sitting on a log by the cold fireplace, deep in thought. “You didn't go with them?” Logan asked, voice rough with sleep. F/N looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand. He could see his ring sparkling on her finger: “I wanted to, I really did…but I couldn't leave you behind” 

Logan sighed, sitting down next to her, just when he'd snaked his arm around her waist to pull her close, they heard a strange buzzing sound, coming from the sky. Drones, about a dozen of them. 

They had found them. 

F/N’s eyes widened and Logan pulled her up to her feet with him. They hurried over the old lookout, not caring about splinters as they climbed the old ladder.

When they reached the binoculars, Logan scanned the area. Where were the children? Maybe they'd already made it to the border, hoped, no he prayed. But that's when he spotted a group of cars between the trees in the distance. 

They were hunting the children. They had to do something.

—

Back in the cabin he grabbed the syringe and vial, throwing them into a discarded backpack. The note was forgotten. F/N watched him in panic, grabbing anything they might need. 

They got off the stone plateau, the path was stoney and difficult but it didn't matter they needed to reach the children before Alkali did. 

F/N thought she hadn't run like this in years as the trees flew by, she followed Logan, he was faster than her. The journey was a blur of high pine trees and uneven ground.

With each step, F/N could feel her energy draining, and Logan in front of her wasn't doing much better. He was stumbling and swaying forward. 

The Wolverine was determined to save those children, and if it was the last thing he did.

He slumped against a tree, holding onto the thick bark to not fall over. He had to do something. And as he heard the yelling and distant screams of the children, he made up his mind.

Panting and coughing he continued his chase, F/N was barely able to keep up with him. She could taste blood in her mouth from the constant running, her heart beating loudly in her ears.

At last she caught up with Logan, he was leaning against a fallen tree, fishing something out of the small backpack. 

F/N's eyes widened, she could barely talk, as she rested her hands on her knees to catch her breath. 

“Logan- it might kill you”, She panted, spitting out the saliva that had gathered in her mouth uncomfortably. 

“Don't care”, Logan got out, shaky hands filling up the syringe with the green liquid, before stabbing it into his neck. He gasped as the needle pierced his skin, it took him some effort to press down, to inject whatever these scientists had mixed up in a lap. 

He groaned as the medication entered his bloodstream. Logan was desperate and F/N knew it was the only way, but that didn't change the fact that she was worried about him. Who knew what an overdose of this stuff would do to his already fragile body.

“Wait here, love. Please wait here”, Logan begged as he straightened up, she had rarely seen him this desperate: “Logan- I- won't-” Logan gave her a stern look but he was pleading with her: “Please, just this once. Listen to me. Keep yourself safe” She nodded. to breathless to even reply. 

A barking dog seldom bites. But sometimes he has to.

He gave her one last soft look before running off, disappearing between the trees.

F/N was left alone, leaning against a tree. Minutes passed. The screams of the children could be heard in the distance, a gunshot or two. She couldn't bear to listen. They were being slaughtered.

Her mind went to Logan, to Laura, to Bobby and the others. She couldn't stay here. She didn't care what Logan had told her. She needed to help them. 

She stumbled to her feet, taking deep breaths to calm her body and mind. She needed to be clear headed for this. None of these kids would die today. Not if she could prevent it.

She followed the sound of yelling and fighting. Grown men in black uniforms were attacking these children like they were the most dangerous criminals. Like they weren't even human.

—

When F/N arrived at the scene, Logan was killing men left and right, Laura in the middle of it all. He was trying to protect her. They both were fighting bravely, slicing and beheading enemies like it was nothing. 

Reinforcements arrived and F/N knew that she had to step in, she was still hiding behind a tree, having to dodge bullets that were flying everywhere, heart beating wildly in her chest. Logan and the soldiers hadn't noticed her yet, too busy with killing one another. 

This was her chance, carefully she peeked out from behind the thick tree trunk. Quickly she made eye contact with one of the soldiers, taking control of his mind. It was a little like pricking into a balloon without popping, this was second nature to her. It was way too easy for her to access his worst fears. Trapping him in his own mind, and linking the real world to his nightmares. In his case, to his own comrades. 

The moment she left his brain he started to shoot at the other soldiers. Shooting one, two, three of them before another one took him out with a sloppy shot through his neck. 

It was then that Logan noticed her, his eyes wide. But not with surprise. Of course she'd follow him. He hadn’t seen her use her powers like this in many years. He knew she despised this side of herself. It was too easy to lose control.

They continued to cut up the soldiers, Laura was screaming as she jumped at one of them and F/N saw her chance to repeat her spiel, picking the next soldier she would manipulate.

That way she took down a couple more men, but the reinforcements wouldn't stop coming. “Get behind me!”, Logan growled at Laura, leaving no room for arguments as more men arrived, shooting and pointing their weapons at them. It wasn't looking good.

Logan was hit by bullet after bullet but he was still standing, still fighting. Killing man after man. Anyone else would have been long dead. 

—

As the situation calmed down a little and they had defeated yet another wave of soldiers, Logan had a moment to take a breath. He was getting weaker, each pant sent a jolt of pain through his slowly healing body “You took all the medicine.”, Laura stated, of course she would notice: “It's wearing off.” 

F/N stumbled over to them, as the air was clear for the second. “Where are the others, Laura?” She asked breathlessly.

—

They found their way to a clearing, even more military cars were waiting there. The children had been gathering beneath a large tree. Heavily armed soldiers surrounded them. There was no way they would get to them unnoticed. 

They were waiting for him, this was a trap. And he'd walk right into it: “Go to your friends. Go” he glanced at Laura, the girl nodded, she'd only gone a couple of steps when Logan called out to her: “Laura. You'll know when.” With a small nod she left. He turned to F/N: “If I asked you to stay back here, you wouldn't? Right?” He already knew the answer. She nodded: “Not a chance I'm leaving you alone right now.”

—

Together they made their way over to the children, emerging from the trees they were immediately spotted. “Nine o’clock!”, A soldier yelled, immediately weapons were pointed at the slowly approaching pair. Most of the children were huddled together beneath the tree, metal contraptions connecting their necks with their hands, preventing them from moving. A younger, blond man approached, he was holding Rictor in a headlock, pressing his gun against the boy’s head, ready to pull the trigger. F/N recognised him from somewhere, she faintly remembered him from the night when Charles had died. Pierce, Logan had called him.

“That green juice is wearing off, huh?” He taunted, a malicious smile on his lips, as he pulled Rictor along: “You know, for an old mute, it's kind of a short high. Be hard to keep them claws out, soon.”

He pressed Rictor to his knees between the high grass. He didn't act like it, but F/N could tell the boy was scared. “And Ghost, huh? Thought you killed yourself with those pills of yours years ago.” He mocked, turning to F/N. The woman didn't reply, staring him down. 

She could try to invade his mind but if she wasn't able to take control immediately, he might be able to shoot Rictor. She couldn’t risk that.

Pierce was ready to pull the trigger with his prosthetic hand, moving the barrel to the boy’s cheek. 

All of a sudden Rictor lunged forward, held back by the steel grip Pierce was having on his neck: “Waste his dick, Logan! F/N!” He screamed before Pierce knocked him out by hitting the gun against his head. He fell down in the grass, knocked out cold.

“Please stop, Mr. Howlett.”, Another man stepped forward, he didn't look like a soldier. “I'm gonna have to tell this man to fire on these children. You don't want that” He continued, not a trace of sympathy in his voice. Logan watched him, panting. He could barely keep himself standing. F/N reached out to support him. “How sweet.”, The man tutted: “You can see the effects of the serum are wearing off. You will not survive further wounds. Allow me to introduce myself.” He stepped forward: “I'm Zander Rice. I believe you knew my father on the Weapon X Program.” Logan snarled, F/N could feel the anger evaporating off of him as he lifted his adamantium claws: “Yeah. He's the asshole who put this poison in me.” Her eyes widened. Fucking hell.

Rice nodded a little awkwardly : “Yes, he was one of them.” Logan, who was still holding his claws up huffed: “I think I might have killed him.” Rice nodded yet again, uncomfortable with the situation: “I- I think you're right.” 

“Why don't you show some respect, mutie? You're looking at the man who wiped out your kind.”, Pierce spoke up, still holding his gun against Rictor's head. The boy was still unconscious. 

Rice had the audacity to look a little sheepish: “My friend Donald overstates. He makes it sound more brutal than intended.” F/N was barely listening but kept her focus on the men ahead. 

Where was Laura?

“The goal was not to end mutant kind…but to control it.”, There was a sadistic gleam in Rice’s blue eyes: “I realised we need to stop perfecting what we eat and drink. That we could use those products to perfect ourselves. To distribute gene therapy discreetly through everything….” It was dawning on F/N and Logan then. “From sweet drinks to breakfast cereals. And it worked. Random mutancy went the way of polio.”, Rice concluded, as if mutations were a sickness to be cured: “We embarked on our next endeavour.” Logan interrupted his little speech: “Growing mutants of your own.” He grunted and Rice nodded, a faint smile on his face: ”Precisely.” 

“Dangerous times, James”, Pierce chimed in: “You can't-”, he was interrupted as a gunshot went off. Logan hat shot Rice straight in the neck, he was spluttering and stumbling, blood soaking his shirt and jacket. F/N turned to Logan in shock, she hadn't even noticed that he had a gun. 

She hadn't even fully processed what had happened when Logan fired another shot. This time the bullet hit Pierce’s robotic hand. He dropped the gun, screaming in pain, as if it was his real hand, a part of his body. He went down, trying to make his way back to the cars in search of cover.

All hell went loose. Laura appeared behind some soldiers, killing them before they could even point their guns at her. In the moment of distraction Bobby took action, electrifying the car, frying the soldiers that were sitting on it.

Logan was going after Pierce, fire burning in his bloodshot hazel eyes. 

Meanwhile F/N made her way over to the trapped children: “Laura, I need you to cut them free!” She called out, the girl nodded, finishing killing one of the soldiers, before running over to her friends.

F/N followed her, making sure none of the kids were seriously injured. As soon as all of them were free they joined in on the fight. 

Pierce seemed to have let loose X24. The Logan clone was currently fighting the real Logan. And it wasn't looking good, he was simply too strong for the already unwell Wolverine. 

F/N tried to get into his mind again but this time she couldn't even get close to taking control. “Get up, boy. Get up, boy!”, Pierce yelled, he was hiding behind one of the cars like a coward, while the clones did the dirty work for him. 

Logan was this close to beheading X24 with a car door when the clone's yellow eyes found the dead body of Rice, just a few steps away in the grass. His anger seemed to boil over at the sight. And Pierce noticed it too: “He did that. Get up!” He yelled, a frantic grin on his beaten face. And in that moment F/N almost felt bad for the clone. Maybe just maybe he wasn't just an animal. But he surely behaved like one. Maybe in another situation, in another world they could have talked to him. She had no time for compassion, this creature had killed Charles and the Munsons. He deserved to die. Right?

Laura jumped into action with a scream, killing another soldier, in the same moment X24 regained the upper hand. He was able to push Logan and the door away, sending the old mutant flying and hitting a car. 

For a moment F/N thought he wouldn't get up again, she'd never seen him like this. His complexion pale and his breathing laboured. 

He was dying. 

He coughed, blood filling his lungs. Log glanced at Laura and F/N who was continuing her spiel of manipulating soldiers and letting them kill their comrades. He'd forgotten she could do that, it was actually scary how easily she could make these men switch up. Their eyes filled with pure terror as they shot their own comrades, maybe even their friends.. 

Laura charged at X24, fear flashed through his system: “Laura! No!” He tried to stop her, crawling over to her. He was too weak to walk. X24 and Laura were fighting with claws and teeth. She was kicking him with her foot claws, as they rolled in the dirt. 

Pain spread through Logan's leg, Pierce had managed to fire some sort of harpoon at him, it had pierced his already bad leg. F/N turned around at his guttural scream. 

With a single look F/N stopped Pierce in his movements, terror filled his eyes as she played with his mind, with his fear. Reducing him to a shaking, pathetic mess on the dirty ground. The rest of the children stepped up, and F/N knew they wouldn't give him a chance. He deserved whatever they'd do to him.

She turned her focus back to Laura, who was still furiously stabbing X24. The larger mutant seemed to be gaining the upper hand. Finally he threw her to the ground a couple of steps away. This didn't look good and Logan knew he had no chance like this. The clone was about to charge at him again.

Another scream cut through the air, it was Rictor. He was using his powers, lifting the truck into the air and with a sickening crunch he let it fall onto X24. They all knew that this would only stop him momentarily, but this was their chance to run. “Go!” Logan gasped, wobbling on his feet. He was overcome by a coughing fit: “Let's go! Go!” He ordered, waving at children, making sure Laura joined them. F/N stumbled along. Logan continued to shoo them away: “Go! Get out of here! Go!” 

The threatening creaking of metal cut through the air and F/N quickly turned around to the car. The fallen over vehicle was moving, of course X24 was still alive. He would not die this easily. “Get out of here!”, F/N yelled at the children, who were slowly backing away. But they weren't fast enough. 

X24 jumped from the car wreck, charging directly at Logan. F/N had hoped that now that his handlers were dead he'd calm down, but his rage had only grown. 

They'd killed his father.

Logan was screaming at them to run now, while X24 dragged him over the floor, ready to deal the final blow. “F/N! Run! Run!” He screamed, his hoarse voice was laced with desperation. 

He was fine with dying, but he needed F/N and Laura to be safe. 

F/N's sole attention was on Logan and his clone now, the world around her seemed to stand still as she held her breath. 

She watched him lift Logan up above his head, before throwing him on the branch of a fallen tree. The rough wood pierced his back, sticking out of his abdomen. She watched in terror as X24 drove his claws into Logan. 

Again and again and again- 

A gunshot. 

X24 fell to the ground. Dead.

Laura had shot him in the head. 

The look on Laura's little face was one of surprise and fear, F/N had never seen her this shaken, she was frozen for a moment before dropping the gun and rushing over to Logan. 

To her father.

It was Logan's weak grunt of pain, as Laura cut the branch that was piercing his stomach, that pulled her out of her trance. She'd been standing there, unmoving. Frozen in shock. She couldn't believe it. This wasn't happening. 

It couldnt be.

No.

No.

No.

She screamed in her mind.

Finally she stumbled over to Logan, only now feeling the pain in her whole body. Bruises forming where she hadn't even noticed that she'd been hit.

She fell to her knees next to him, hands frantically, traveling over his softly trembling body, taking in the countless wounds and blood. There was so much blood, bubbling from where the rough wood was sticking out of his abdomen.

F/N could hear Laura's quiet sobs, but she was barely registering the world around her as she turned to grab Logan's blood covered hand. 

Feeling his warmth. Feeling him give her a hand little squeeze. 

He heavily turned to Laura, it took him great effort to speak, he was in agony: “Take your friends, and run.” Laura shook her head, clutching onto his shoulder: “No…no…”, She whimpered like a beaten puppy. But Logan continued: “Run. They'll keep coming and coming.” He took in a shaky breath: “Listen, you don't have to fight anymore.” His other hand found Laura's: “Go, go.” He murmured, his voice dropping to a weak whisper.

“You can do it Logan, please…” The expression on F/N’s face broke his heart, the fear, the desperation in her eyes digging into his flesh like a knife, tearing his very soul. A deep wound, he'd never heal from not even with his healing factor, not with the time that he had left.

“Logan.”, His name fell from her chapped lips like a prayer.

And maybe she was. 

Maybe she was praying, praying to whoever would listen. 

But no one heard her plea. Or maybe no one cared.

It was quite funny actually. In his long life he'd been hurt countless times. He had been stabbed, burned, experimented on and shot at more often than he could count. 

For all he knew, he should have died many years ago. He'd survived things no one should have survived, and yet he had always healed. His broken body had always mended itself, his flesh had pulled itself back together. And yet in this very moment he knew it was over. 

He had fought his last fight. And he had saved them. He had saved her.

“You're betting on a losing dog, love.” But she wasn't giving up, her shaky, cut hands cradled his face. Her hot tears stained his dirty tank top, mixing with blood. His blood. God there was so much blood. But not hers.

There was still hope. But not for him. 

Never for him.

“I don't care. I don't. It can't be anyone but you.”, She was spiralling and he could do nothing to soothe her pain. He knew this was inevitable.

“F/N- F/N I need you to focus.” She blinked, vision blurry with tears. “Take care of her, alright? She's our daughter.”, There was the faintest ghost of a smile on his pale lips as he spoke, words barely audible. 

His eyes shifted back to Laura, too hazy to quite see her.

“Don't be what they made you. Laura…Laura…” he was fighting to stay conscious at this point. F/N could see a tear run down the young girl's face, she was crying too. Her tears were running down her dirty cheeks, dropping down and mixing with the blood on Logan's hand, just where his claws would pierce his skin.

“Daddy”, F/N had never heard Laura like this, this vulnerable and broken.

 “So…this is what it feels like…”, He whispered, his eyes becoming incredibly heavy. He just wanted to sleep. The pain was starting to fade, a numb feeling spreading through his body. This was good, right?

But he would not go without saying goodbye, not again. Not without telling her how much she meant to him.

F/N's hands found Logan's, face cradling it oh so gently, he was covered in blood there was so much blood and yet her hands cradling him: “I love you, Logan-” Her voice broke, turning into a choked whisper. She pressed her stinging lips to his in a frantic, desperate kiss.  

“Goodbye, F/N” His eyes found hers. He was so tired. Tired of fighting. 

“I love you”, His hand loosened in hers but she wouldn't let go.

He took his last breath, his expression softened. 

The light had left his eyes. What was once a lush forest, glowing in the rays of the sun, was now a lifeless and dull desert.

Yukio had been wrong all those years ago. He hadn't been holding his heart in his hands when he died.

It had been his very soul.

—

Farewell, dear Logan.

We miss you. And we will always miss you.

You are too well loved to ever be forgotten.

Thank you for reading. 

Grüße an Ernst <3

[stellewriites]

https://www.tumblr.com/stellewriites/765393221177196544/httpswwwtumblrcomstellewriites76537667751582?source=share — thanks for offering to tell me! it’s not so much that i can’t read it, rather i’m just mentally preparing since i love the fic so much already. only question now is on how violent is it gonna be 😬 (the noncon), if you’ve thought that far ahead. by that i mean are we talking physically forced through harm etc or like being coerced emotionally/or verbally. can’t wait for any other future work xx.

hi again anon!!

i literally just finished this scene so i’m gonna describe it under the cut for spoiler reasons but i’m not gonna go into graphic detail - more black and white plain language so you can decide what you wanna do 🫂

again just let me know if you want the lines before and after the scene - it’s not detrimental to the plot so you can skip it easily xx

it starts closer to physical harm. reader is slightly injured/dazed and has her upper body held still by johnny while kyle has sex with her. though they don’t threaten to harm her, johnny was the one to make her dazed and they don’t give her much room to move. she says no and stop - this is used when kyle first steps behind her and then when he moves it along a little too quickly (encouraged by johnny) and she’s worried about not enough prep.

there’s a single use of ‘slut’ by johnny. they both are convinced (or pretending, up to readers’ interpretation) that she’s into it and only hesitant because of her husband/being married.

towards the end it dips into dubcon with reader pushing back into kyle and she has a brief thought when kyle cums inside her about how maybe now she’ll get the baby she’s always wanted.

they take her to their room and when she’s passing out (adrenaline, head injury, a generally exhausting day before allll of this too) johnny plays with the cum leaking out and rubs his cock through it. not explicitly stated but inferred that he has sex with her when she’s asleep.

i’ll also note that in regards to reader’s pov i don’t get descriptive with how she feels - if you’re concerned it might be quite graphic in describing her panic or stress or internal thoughts as it happens, i don’t go into that. it’s smth i find difficult to read and write myself. at most it goes more into her hiding the reluctant pleasure she feels as it happens, e.g. hiding her face in johnnys leg to muffle any sounds.

hope this has helped any!! if you’ve got any more questions anon please please feel free to send them in and ask, i’m happy to explain anything else in more detail or less if this was too much or whatever you need for an easier read :D

[theworldibuilt4you]

[Addie broke out into a huge grin, and felt their own face warming. They... Didn't even realize he had previously put in the effort to try...!]

N-no! I… Like that you can see me. I mean, I get to see you all the time, so now we're even!

[They crossed their arms and stuck their tongue out playfully at Casey's offhand comment.]

Nyeeeeeh! That's me sticking my tongue out at you, Case-Case…!

-Addie

[Casey rolled their eyes, but there was a dull smile on their face. It was clear that they're just playing... they're much more relaxed than they had seemed before as well. Something about not having to do anything dangerous anymore just sort of puts you at ease.]

"Sooo... what's the goal now..? I mean we got that admin whatever away from Kinito, but what now..?"

[Sonny puts a hand to his chin, tapping his heel against the digital grass of their home.]

"I've already got a lot of stuff starting in the background... I'm starting with little things. Kinito hasn't updated anything in a... long... long time.. So all the drivers on the main server computer are years out of date."

[He gestures a hand out at nothing. Something only he could see, perhaps.]

"Once the graphics and display drivers are up to date, plus a hard drive cleanup, everyone should start to see a huge difference in performance. I wanted to make sure the graphics card started first, as all of our models depend on it. You'll feel a bit more energetic eventually, which will help you last longer without your constant naps, Casey."

[Now it was their time to glance away sheepishly]

"I... I thought it was just laziness on my part, dude.."

"Not at all..! Sluggishness and fatigue is bound to be a side effect of poor disk maintenance... Once everything minor like that is up and going, I'll have to see what I can do about world corruption... I may need to create a new instance if I can't find the source. Corrupted world data can be a pickle to work out, and..-"

[He took a glance back towards

Addie.... what a rambler he was being.]

"...Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. Apologies.."

[a-real-cupcake]

An explanation to my Discord profile picture.

Alright, so my Discord profile picture has been pretty much the exact same ever since I got Discord way back in 2017. When I do change it, it's to a recolor of the same picture. So, what is my profile picture?

It's this. A screencap of an anime called Kaiba. I wont do an explanation of what the anime is about, but basically it's my favorite anime so I just started using it as my pfp on Discord and it's basically just kind of become my thing. I would like to just to just double mention that the original screen cap is not drawn by me, it is from the anime Kaiba directed and created by Masaaki Yuasa so please go give it a watch.

The oldest edit I have still on my computer is this one here where I basically tried making a "retrowave" type pfp. At the time I never really liked it, and looking back on it I really don't like it because I've gotten a lot better at making these things.

That said, I did add to that specific picture right after this and removed the background to replace it with the original Kaiba background which does look better.

I tried making a Pride pfp not long after and it turned out pretty bad.

My very first Christmas pfp in 2018 was...well it was not good if I'm being honest.

My first official recolor that I have wasn't until 2020. That's when I decided to recreate the outline of the original drawing so I could do my own thing. The colors I used for this come from Kamina from the anime Gurren Lagann.

The next one I did after Kamina was Stocking Anarchy, a character from Panty & Stocking, another one of my favorite anime.

Next up is Halloween of 2020. This would be the first Halloween pfp I have saved, and probably ever made. It is just a jack-o-lantern. The concept of it I think is pretty clever, but the actual execution just didn't work. Maybe I can do it again another year and make it better.

And after Halloween comes Christmas, this being the second Christmas pfp I have means it has to be better....right? I had a whole year to get better. You can decide that.

This next one isn't one I did, it's actually one a friend of mine did for me. It's just the normal Kaiba picture, but they made him a cat boy! I actually do come back to this one from time to time.

Ok so shockingly, for 2021 I didn't really have any new pfps, at least none that I saved, so we're jumping right into Halloween 2021. It's Dracula and I actually really like this one. This I think is when I think I can see a change in myself getting better at making these, and graphic design as a whole.

Christmas 2021 was also really good, it's a gingerbread man! Has texture and everything. Also one of my favorites I've done.

I eventually decided to upscale the original Kaiba picture, remove the background, and leave just the outline and was left with this.

I was then able to do cool things like this Nonbinary Kaiba. I did this when me and a bunch of friends in a server were doing similar pfp.

One that I really love is this "real" Kaiba that I made. I usually use Paint.net to make all my stuff be that YouTube thumbnails or these profile pictures, but I decided to try out Gimp just for this one specific pfp to get the warp tool and I think it worked out.

I'm not going to show all of my pictures, but I do want to leave it off with this years Halloween pfp. It's Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

With that being said I'm going to go ahead and leave a screenshot of the folder that hold all of my Kaiba pictures just so you can see the rest of them that I didn't show here. It's funny how this little joke of a profile picture has unintentionally been helping me better myself at graphic design.

[nardonotes]

11 oct '24

10:15pm

HOUUUUGGGHHHHHHWWEEEEW WWAAAAGHHHH I AM SO OVERWORKED!!!! FOR NO FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SLAVERY!!!!!!!!!!! ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

i didn't get to write an entry because i was so goddamn busy the past few days. let's RECAP! : ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

wednesday: i had so much work to do and ended up just knocking tf out,, like i don't even remember what i did then?? what did i even do... just college work and so much soooo much catching up to do.

thursday: after college,, i went to park with my sister, her bf, and her two friends (one with a baby and one's bday was coming up) so we celebrated a little bit there,, but it was cold as fuck so we were in my sisters bf's car eating snacks and talking! it was fun but i was really really tired.. and then we watched episode 2 of dandadan ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و,, it was so good man fr!! i need to catch up on the manga. but after that man i was too fucking tired to do shit. which is weird because i been so restless?? (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) ‧º

FRIDAY!!! TODAY!!!!!!: i had my first day of my new placement,, long story short,,, the printing business got back to me and i am now doing my work experience there instead of my mum's place BUT I AM still going to make their website because i feel bad also,,, they're very nice and it's good for my portfolio. anyways,, i was on my feet ALL DAY. (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) doing WAREHOUSE WORK. LORD SAVE ME IF I HAVE TO DO WAREHOUSE WORK ALL FUCKIN DAY EVERY WEEK!!!!!!!!! but it's ok. they're super sweet and said eventually- ill end up meeting the actual graphic designers at the company and that's rlly all i want. ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ when i got home,, my sister was babysitting her friends baby and i helped out a bit bc he's so sweet and so big now and he said my name!!! and we made videos w him,,, he's so cute..... i will miss him a lot when he moves. when he left, i facetimed my good friend who lives in bulgaria! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) she's so funny fr,, we caught up a bit and then i went to shower!!!!!!!!

i am really fucking tired. i think being this drained has distracted the seasonal depression that i feel at the back of my head. i don't even have time to do my regular hobbies anymore and it sucks but also good for me because i really am locking in and im happy !! (sorta kinda) more like im really proud of myself for pushing through and getting shit done.

ALSO! i got invited to my friends birthday party next week and im excited cause i can see them and the ppl i did the little project with! :)) they're chill and cool asl and they're also funny,,, i love funny people!!! and and and and and,,,, im going to an opening day for big boy college next week, the day before the party, and im going to apply on november. JUST IN CASE! i can always defer it. but i just want to be ahead and think of my career. phew.... that was a typeful...... (｡>﹏<)

im going to catch up on my chicas and relax now,, had a long day.

goodnight!!!~ <33

song of the day: Panavision by Roy Blair !! (king is back)

[thetextiwriteiwrote]

False Obits and Overdramaticism

Go ahead? Put anything? Literally? On God? Just like that?

I suppose it's trying to probe my brain for thoughts, which is fair, but I'll divulge them at my own pace, thank you, graphics-interface. I don't need the suggestion to talk about how I'm feeling. If that cauldron happens to be boiling or broiling anywhere near the surface, you'll be the first to know.

I have a funny grip on my hearing that tells me I might very well have a day like that tomorrow, but I'll be in love with the feeling, because I'll be back at work. I'll be able to flex these new people-skrillz that I've picked up in recent days.

There'll be those that I can't help, but I'll try with everyone. I need to try with people or else they might never bother to try with me, and I'm worth trying with-- I'm worth trying out-- and I'm worth taking home. This, I have to prove to myself by proving it to society for a while.

Then, the gym-etiquette will come back to me, and I'll be cycling again like my heart depends on it, and it does. Love or no love, cycling puts distance between me and my emotions as I'm currently feeling them, so that I might be able to process them.

It's all running, at the end of the day. Spiritual and physical cardio, we do these things to clear our heads. We watch TV, we play games, we bob our heads to music and pretend to know what it all means.

But none of us know, we're all learning together, gradually, slowly, gently. It's a process, believe me. As someone who is fighting tooth and nail to be and feel better and better each day, it doesn't get easier, but it shouldn't have to get easier.

It should get harder. That's how leveling up works.

If you're constantly boxing at your skill-level, you'll never get better. Metaphors. I have too much energy to slow down, take my time, and write a periodic draft of this, which is why you're getting the manic ramblings of someone freshly-medicated and freshly-reunited with his family, job, and support-structure. I got my job back! It's all thanks to these little circular white tabs that give me a fighting chance against my psychosis.

One tablet, every night, at 9PM, right before bed.

I'll stay creative. I'll stay content. I'll stay healthy.

[chilopodacrudus]

Who do you Want to Be? Chapter 10: We'll Make Great Pets

CW: Graphic depictions of violence; cannibalism, cults, (extremely NON romanticized) physical and verbal abuse, major character death, death, blood and torture.

Piers followed Johnny down the winding staircase down to the basement; forced to listen to Johnny’s cheerful whistling the whole time. His mind was on fire; he had no idea what to expect but he knew he wasn’t going to like it. When they reached the bottom of the stairs; his eye ticked at the sight before him.

The floor was finished in smooth concrete; a surgical table in the corner making way to shadows so dark he couldn’t see what awaited beyond that. The most worrying thing to him however; were the jail bars they had just walked through. They extended the parameter of the giant space. Tables were set up; Piers noted a bed in the corner, a small bathroom off to the side. He got the picture now and he was none too pleased.

Johnny: He spoke suddenly in his normal loud; raspy tone. “I hate people like you Piers.” Piers: This just made him laugh. “I’m not too thrilled about you either.” Johnny: He held his hand up as if to tell him to be quiet but a cruel grin crawled along his lips. “I don’t think you understand; I hate people like YOU that think they’re better than ME. You come in here and act like you have ‘morals’; Piers...come on your morals are no better than mine they’re just different not better. I have preferences too you know; I’ve done good, I’ve felt good about myself doing good even. You think ‘saving’ Allison and...man...even CASEY will absolve you from whatever bullshit you’ve got yourself into over the years and you’re living a lie my man. LIVING A LIE. You’re no better than me. We don’t like it here when our interests are put under judgment; you want to fit in...you need to get a little more loose.” Piers: He gave a bitter smile then laughed and couldn’t stop. “You think I see myself as BETTER? You...you don’t know me. You have no idea what’s going on in my head you don’t know what I’ve done. You even get queasy looking at the bodies of the people you EAT you don’t get in my face and act like you know me.” He lurched forward and pointed his finger in Johnny’s face much to Johnny’s amusement. “I like Allison…” He purred; rolling that sweet taste of her name on his tongue. “I like Casey too.” His voice darkened. “You think I have any faith in my mind that I wouldn’t have bled them out in any other situation? I don’t like how you WORK...Johnny...kindness…” He hissed. “Is very important to me. You don’t take a life cruelly...tenderness…” His mind reeled thinking of Allison; of Aster and the ones that came before. “You orchestrate their perfect final moments Johnny...you free them from a life of suffering. That’s what this is about for me…” He placed his hands on Johnny’s shoulders and gripped them firmly. “I’m not a ‘Good Dog’...Johnny...but I do have limits...and now...I want to know for sure...will you hold up your side of the bargain? Can I...TRUST...you with that?” Johnny: For a brief second in Johnny’s mind he felt fear but he was impressed by the display of his new dog in front of him. Speaking softly he patted his hand along Piers’ cheek. “Man...you really are crazy.” Piers: He laughed with his eyes wide jaw clenched shut he had no words now. Johnny: “Yes; you can trust me...to keep my word on our bargain Piers. You can trust me...I don’t think I can trust YOU...but you can trust me...now…” He looked off to the side and spoke a bit louder. “Go ahead.” In a second two large men in surgeons outfits seized Piers from the shadows; Piers fought wildly, when his hands were held down he used his mouth, gnashing into one of the man’s upper arms and tearing into him like a beast until they managed to inject him with a knockout drug. It wasn’t quick but quick enough; Piers thrashed and roared out at Johnny calling him every name in the book and then some before his body finally went limp and darkness was all he knew.

Piers: His mind stirred a few times and then fell silent; pain. He felt a vague sense of sharp terrible pain in his mouth? In his...jaw...his face...everything. He couldn’t pinpoint it. He felt his mouth seized open as Johnny’s surgeons sharpened all of his teeth to match his abnormal canines. Johnny wanted a good dog a good attack dog. More pain; sharper this time and more violent as his mouth was forced shut. His teeth vibrating from the work that had just been forced upon them. What was happening now? He felt the sensation of metal against his chin...against his upper mouth? His face hurt; screws were tightened. Numbness; he didn’t feel the presence of the men for awhile but suddenly, with the press of a button by Johnny, the turning and snap of a latch and he could no longer open his mouth.

He had been fitted with something truly ghoulish; an articulated metal muzzle, bolted into his skull and firmly fastened. The outside was intricate; ‘lovingly’ crafted with interlocking razor sharp fangs that fit over his mouth. Johnny really knew how to treat his pets to luxury and he was Very excited to pamper Piers.

Piers: He was waking up; the muscles in his jaw flexed as he tried to speak but to no avail. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t open his mouth wide enough to talk, at least not much. He muttered. “What…?” But the words were hushed; silenced by the metal work strapped to his face. His eyes snapped open darting across the room. He jerked his arms and found he was restrained quite firmly to the operating table. He snarled which Johnny; who was standing right beside of him, found VERY Cute. Johnny: “Aww now THAT’S a dog! Look at you Piers…” He coo’d down at the hate filled groggy man. Admiring the artistry of the work in front of him. He traced his fingers along Piers’ cheek; down the cold steel of the muzzle and under his chin. Piers wanted to throw up but he was barely even aware right now. “I gave you a gift; something to help that appetite of yours Piers. And something to keep that appetite focused OFF...of me. You must really be hungry friend and I’ve got something real Fun planned for you but for now…I’ll let you rest. I’m a good owner Piers and I know when my pet’s been too stimulated.” He patted his head and smirked. The men came back into view; pulling Piers off of the table and helping him stand. Which he was desperately trying to do; vertigo hit him with a wave of pain and he lurched forward stabilizing himself on a metal pole.

Johnny: “OH...someone wanted to see you...Allison.” He called her name dryly like it was too much effort to even acknowledge her. “I’ll let her stay down here tonight; I feel you’re in a…” He ticked his eyes to Piers. “Good enough mood to have company over. You two have fun.” Johnny wanted him to snap; Johnny wanted him to kill Allison, Johnny wanted to watch but he knew teasing Piers into that perfect mindset would take time, though he was patient enough when he wanted to be. He made his way up the staircase as the men took their leave as well. When Allison came into view. Allison: She had been crying; likely having been filled in with what Johnny had planned to do with Piers, what he had planned to do with her only way out. Her heart sank; seeing him like this. Standing dazed and bleeding from the fresh implant on his face. She looked at the mask that was forced on him; he really looked the part of a killer now but she tried not to think that, not about the man that had just helped her so greatly. “What did he do to you…” Piers: He had time to think but thoughts wouldn’t come; he saw Allison in front of him and he tried to smile. It hurt; everything hurt but he was gaining his awareness. Listening to her words he tapped the mask; slowly moving his balance away from the pole he was resting on, he showed her with his hands that he can’t open his mouth, a sickening laugh escaped his lips and he walked closer to her, or rather stumbled. He was starving; he couldn’t eat, not yet but all he could think of was food and the sweetness of Allison’s scent. The latch inside of him was red hot but he couldn’t open his mouth; he’s glad he couldn’t, not now not now...you can’t right now.

Allison: She wanted to back up seeing him walk closer but she chose to stand still; she got the picture that he couldn’t speak, so she chose to sign. “(Can you sign to me instead?)” Piers: Dizzy he read her voice and rolled his eyes back trying to snap his mind back into place. He knew what the words meant; he hesitated. Language; what even is language but he managed to respond shakily. “(I can try.)” He flared his nostrils and snuffed feeling lightheaded but he chose to give Allison space. He had no idea what was attached to him but he had a feeling it didn’t look very welcoming.

Allison exhaled; at least he’s still somewhat stable, at least he can still speak. She walked to him and wrapped her arms around him; burying her face into his bloodied shirt. She felt like she was at fault here but she was mourning her last chance as well. Breathing in deeply as Piers held his arms around her in turn; resting his tired chin along the top of her head. For once in his life Piers had no plan; he had to play it by ear from here but he could already taste the death that was approaching him from all sides and the latch inside of him grew weaker with every pump of his heart.

[itgetsbetteroneday]

This whole time, I thought I was the shepherd, so why do you call me your little lamb?

All of my life, it has rained fire, but you keep me sheltered, I don’t understand

I never got why no one ever tried

So why does your love make me terrified?

When I have a bad day, you push work away,

Say I don’t have to do a thing

But love costs a leg and an arm

But love, they say, is hard

But love, I know, it takes a lot of effort

Yet when I’m burnt out, you love me better?

Why are you gentle?

Haven’t I learned how to be tough?

Why call me little?

When I’ve been asked to outgrow everyone?

Why do I feel a need to have you by my side?

I have been taught to walk alone all of my life.

And just when I accept that no one will ever show up,

I learned to save myself, and only then, fall in love.

But when they say no one completes you,

I guess that I’d have to laugh.

You have sawed me down, smoothed my edges,

Taken from my whole.

I completed myself by building these walls,

The point is you made me let it go.

When people look for their other half, they’re blind,

When you’re alone, you’re all that you find.

But when you have met the man in the mirror,

Only then, it gets to be time.

I am smaller than the day we met,

Though you have added so much purpose.

And I know that there’s lots we’ve said,

But I’m not sure that you’ve heard this.

When you call me little anything,

It always strikes a nerve.

The tiny hands that grasped a check

With blood from sacrifice and work.

I tend the lands, I work the field,

I’d do all to bring sheep home.

For the first time in my whole life,

There’s a light on when I get home.

Fires burnt fields where shepherds spend their nights,

Leading cross the rivers, before, not beside or behind.

And of all the years of tales of helping people the way you decide,

The ferry, the shepherd, and the king, but the responsibility was always mine.

When I was suffering, I still said to others, there’s hope ahead.

When I was healing, I tried to rope everyone in, but they still reached for death.

When I was finding my footing, I let it all go, you can’t bring everyone, you must accept.

You hope that they follow, to be a role model, but somebody still must lead.

And in trying to find the best way to cross, nobody ever tried for me.

The fire that burnt me should have left me scarred

But your warmth is such a relief

The water that drowned me should cause me fear

But I’m revived being pulled to my knees

The earth that has buried me countless alive

Now flourishes and it grounds me

The air that I spent years trying to give away

Is every breath that I’m grateful to take

And in all of my years of isolation and misery

I have made one mistake

It crafted you, and it crafted me, and it gave us this room for love

How could I find any misery in the same universe and stardust?

Bah, bah, little sheep, rest your little eyes

For you to be grateful, tragedy must strike

The contrast comes so beautifully when you know dark from light

Over the river and voices and the cries,

You’ve gone deaf to what it’s all for, waiting on the other side,

You forget you’re someone too, what about your life?

Little lamb, your time has come, you’ve earned your lullabies

I know you rock me to sleep, rub my back, and play with my hair

Even when I’m far gone in dreamland, disappeared

It’s the beauty of secrets, the unknown and passing time

You keep it from me, no mentioning, like the world with you and I

Did it have us planned since it began? Written in the divine?

Were you waiting for me, somewhere else longing, every night I would cry?

Across the distance, under the same moon, you still sang my lullaby

Not to be graphic, but if something happens, I ask only this of you

On this planet or on the next adventure, sing me a song to the moon

“But love was-“ no, no

Love, I am

Everybody gets it wrong

Only now I understand

Little lambs

[vodka-redbull-daily]

October 30th, 2023

*Graphic Sexual Content*

I spent the evening googling how long your asshole bleeds after anal.  I met up with F---- today and he was very insistent about taking my anal virginity. didn't even really know that was a thing. and also, I wasn't even an anal virgin. it was just too complicated to explain to him that 4 years ago ahead and ex who I tried anal with, but since it's been 4 years ago I really would like him to go gentle with me as if I had never done it before. he brought over vodka and Red Bull  for me and a beer for himself. he came around 1:30 and was quick to let me know that he had to take a business call at 3:00.

we talked for a little bit. he did that thing all these guys do were they pretend like they're actually interested in having a conversation before suddenly going heavy into sexual questions and talk. what do you do for work? oh I've never heard of that before can you explain it to me? so what do you do for fun? what's your favorite position? it always happens like this. I don't know if they're just can't keep a train of thought or if they think that by asking me all the softball questions before I'll be more open to their advances. the money is what makes me open to their advances, not their personality.

I hadn't eaten all day. I know my usual limit for vodka Red Bulls is five. learn that the hard way. it was out when I was with him for his birthday. I was so nervous because  he had invited me to go out with all his fancy friends.  all his rich friends. all his white collar friends. he knew how to Captivate a room, always shining with an incredible confidence. and I was nervous. so I drank.  we are at a bar. it's not like it was a crazy thing to do. but I got five Red Bulls in and had to pull him close to me and Whisper… 

“I'm about to fucking pass out.”

 of course, the fun ended there. we had to go home since I was completely wasted at that point. alcohol sneaks up on me. I'll be three drinks I'm not feeling anything before suddenly the entire world is spinning.

 and F---- keep telling me to drink.

 he was aggressive and pushy, but I think that's just how he is. he really wanted me to try anal. He was convinced that if I was drunk enough, and he put enough Lube, then it would be fine. no thoughts of helping me stretch out or anything. I know from B------ and from trying to Peg T----- that stretching is pretty important.  and I hadn't eaten anything all day and I know how not very much alcohol can do a lot to me. I think I only had like two drinks before  my head was starting to buzz.

 he didn't want to wear a condom. of course he didn't. selfish old man. maybe just selfish man in general.  he asked me if I was on birth control. whenever anybody asks me, I usually say no. that's a lie. It’s the only lie i ever tell. i am. but birth control can fail and I'm highly paranoid. besides, I've been having problems with my birth control for a while now. I skipped the placebos because my period makes me want to kill myself. and make sure of hormones, dysphoria, stress, anxiety,  bleeding through most of my clothes no matter how often I change the tampon, excruciating pains so bad that when I had kidney stones I ignored it for hours thinking they were period cramps. A cocktail of suffering. and even though I haven't been taking the placebos, almost every single brand of birth control I've tried has done nothing to stop them. I'm not entirely sure if that's actually part of the birth control's fault. I don't know if that means it would actually stop pregnancy. but I live in Texas. it's too dangerous to even think about that here. it's dangerous for me to even have birth control.

 so, I told him no. I told him the same way I tell everyone. I've tried it, I really have. it just makes me sooooo sick. the side effects are just too much. I can't handle it. please, for the love of God, where a condom.  he Didn't. he didn't even bring one. I was really thinking about buying something to keep in the Airbnb with me in case some asshole like him did this.  I just ran out of money. it was either a pack of condoms or toothpaste. and he had the audacity to get on to me about sleeping with other people, about the possibility of spreading stds. he said this while his raw dick was inside me, burning my yeast infection.

 right from the beginning, I could tell he was too clingy. he wanted to see me everyday of my vacation. sounds good for the bank, but every second I talk to him I hated him more. he's one of those guys the fancies himself a dom  to the point where they don't give a shit about what you’re experiencing.  they take so much joy out of people being in pain. they don't care if you like it or not. he had me write him for a little bit, constantly giving orders. that's another thing guys like him like to do. give orders. boss people around. I hate being bossed around so much. I like it when B------- does it, but he's nice. he doesn't say it in a mean, Snappy way.

 I rode him for a little bit, honestly not that long. and between riding him, of course you wanted me to suck his dick. that's all men ever want. I get it, it feels good. but it's so fucking boring.  it has been gone for very long at all before he wanted to stick it in my ass. and I was pretty tipsy at this point and I did remember how much I had left anal when I was with t-----. I like anal. I know guys will go wild if I ever told them that. and I wouldn't mind, the problem is I know they'll be rough. I know they'll just shove their whole cock and instead of giving me a chance. he had me kneel in the couch, put my face down flat on the cushion, ass in the air. had me rub my own asshole With Lube as well as basically give up a handjob to lube up his dick.

 then, push my face into the cushion and just stuck it directly in my ass.

 like I said, they don't give a shit about being gentle.

 I tried to squirm away, try to make it very clear that I was in pain. he didn't really care. of course he didn't. he kept telling me to stop moving away.  eventually, after I had gotten used to it, it didn't hurt anymore. but I can't stand it when they just go all the way like that. a 65 year old man should know better.  he fucked me in the ass for a little bit. I don't know how long. it's hard to tell since I was pretty tipsy.  randomly, he pulled out and demanded I take him to the bathroom and wash his cock off. said something about how it's very important that you always wash a cock off after anal before doing anything else with it. I feel like that was obvious, but whatever. that's the most care he showed me this entire time and it's almost 3:00 at this point. I  wash his dick off in the sink like  he said, they need demanded that we go back out to the couch and I suck his dick again.

 because of course.

 Because that's all men can never think of.

 he got a call from his daughter. he was so quick to tell her that he would call her back. he had me  drink even more. he wanted me to finish off the entire class and I really didn't want to. I knew I was already getting to the point where would be too much. I didn't want to vomit like I had a T------'s house. like I had at his house. I honestly wanted to be in control of myself. and I can feel myself starting to spin.

 he took his conference call at 3:00  with me in between his knees. because of course he did. Don't get me wrong, that's kind of hot. but at this point he had already been here for an hour and a half and I wanted him to leave. I didn't like him. I don't want to spend any more time with him. I wanted to go to sleep because I’d  had too much alcohol. he answered the call, wanted me to keep sucking his dick. I did for a little while, but again it's so boring. it was so boring and I was starting to get dizzy. I  Got up to go pee  and tried to just sit on the couch next to him. just worked for a few minutes before he demanded that I get between his knees and start sucking him again.

 I did it for a while. I guess it was lucky that I was drunk to the point where my jaw didn't hurt, because  that definitely starts to happen  after too long. it did get to the point, though, or I got so bored and so tired and so dizzy that I just laid my head down on his knees. I close my eyes in the entire world was spinning and I swore to God that I might puke right then and there all over him. maybe I should have. maybe that would have made it end.  but maybe he wouldn't have paid me.  he let me rest for a few seconds, then had me right back on his dick again. selfish  bastard.  there was no way he couldn't  have seen that I was pretty drunk.

 that call lasted for an hour. I sucked him almost the whole time. how is that even pleasurable? how did he not get bored? that's so much time. after he finally got off the phone,  he demanded we go upstairs. laying down on the bed, demanded I rode him again.  that also didn't last Very long. soon enough, we were using more lube and he was sticking it in my ass again. he didn't even wait for me to adjust, this time. even more brutal.  I wanted to be over so badly. I was so sick of him. he just wouldn't leave. so clingy. I made a sexy show of begging him to cum in my ass.  it worked, and finally we were both laying in bed and the sex was over. I wanted to go to sleep so badly, but he just kept asking me questions, kept trying to talk to me, kept pretending like we were a couple or something.

 he made a big deal about how he didn't want me to see anybody else. and I told him flat out that that wasn't going to happen. I told him I had people in A----- and I was planning on seeing them again. I told him I had somebody coming the next morning.  I actually had two people planned For tomorrow, but I only told him one. and he was even upset with just that. he made a big deal about it. demanding that I was his and only his because he was putting so much effort into me. as of taking what you want and leaving behind $250  is that much effort.  as if an hour-long blowjob is that much effort.

and then he was talking about how he was going to fly me up there. but he's so stingy, too. talking about how if he bought my plane tickets, I would have to figure out where to stay and then I wouldn't be making any money he would just expect me to be his and his alone for the weekend. I couldn't spend any time with anybody else, I would have to be at his disposal. but he wasn't going to pay me. my compensation would be the tickets to come see him. because I guess he's God's gift to this earth. or at least his dick is,   at least in his eyes.

 and how could it not have been clear that I wanted to go to sleep? he got me drunk, laid me in bed after fucking me, I had my eyes closed. but no, he had to just shove his fingers inside me. reminded me a lot of tommy. he fingered me over and over, and then like him always rubs so hard. always rub the clit raw. I don't understand why they always want me to be in pain. eventually, he stuck two fingers up my ass. he's talking about trying to fist me, even though I kept telling him I don't want to do that. kept talking about how I took his dick so easily that  he thought I could take his hand fine. he fingered my asshole so roughly that I shit the bed.  I feel like that's actually pretty common. but that might just be because I listen to too many drag queens talk about the sex they have. after that, of course he was ready to leave. after embarrassing me like that.

 I had put down a towel cuz I know I squirt so much. he didn't laid me down even close to it. the bed sheets were complete mess and of course they soaked through to the little fluffy thing that the Airbnb owner had underneath them but above the mattress. which I guess was good cuz that means the mattress  didn't get stained.  of course I immediately cleaned up the mess and through the sheets in the wash. the big squishy thing went in after. it was so big though, that the washer flooded. I had to use all the towels I had just washed to clean it up.

He Stayed until almost 6:00.

 that is way too long for only $250.

 and after he left, after I went to go take a pee to try and not get a UTI on top of my yeast infection, I saw the blood. makes sense.  my asshole hurts so bad. and I've got two more appointments tomorrow. 

Total Earned: $2,050

Body Count: 9

Dick Pics: 10

Sex Ranking:

B------

Him

T-----

P------

F-----

R--

T-----

D--

M---

[lady-charinette]

That Fear Chapter 2 - Spy x Family Angst

Decided to write something of a Part 2 to this, since I felt the first chapter didn’t properly capture the suspense, fear and absolute horror of what happened and could’ve have happened. While I don’t have children myself, I feel a very similar fear whenever I had to watch over kids or work with them in a professional setting and seeing them get hurt.

From different perspectives this time, like Yor’s, a more in depth one from Loid and Anya’s.

Warnings: graphic depictions of child drowning, mention of potential death, drowning.

---

‘C-can’t…breathe…’

Anya stopped dead in her tracks, her normally loud mind suddenly quiet.

‘My legs…won’t move…’

Anya’s hands trembled, her thoughts filled with horror at who’s thoughts she was reading right this moment.

Someone was drowning in the pool.

“Papa!” Anya ran towards Loid, gripping his pants leg tightly.

“What is it? You just went to the bathroom, didn’t you?” Loid fixed his sleeves, glancing down at Anya once he noted the girl’s sudden distress.

Anya’s next words hit him like a freight train. “Someone’s drowning in the pool!”

Loid’s eyes widened, “What?! How do you know that? Exactly who are you!?” there were nowhere near the pool area, in fact, they hadn’t even visited it since it was only meant for patients.

Was Anya’s overactive imagination playing games with her? He would need to have a talk with her about joking with such serious things-

Anya seemed shaken, her small body trembling in fear.

If Loid ever found out about her powers, if Yor found out about her powers, Anya would…Anya would…!

‘Help me…somebody help me…’ the desperation in the drowning boy’s voice momentarily cut through Anya’s fears and she bravely looked up at Loid.

“Papa…Anya is terrible at volunteering. So I…” turning on her heel, remembering her mother’s training, Anya ran as fast as her little legs would carry her to the direction of the pool and the drowning boy’s screaming thoughts. “I’m gonna become a pro swimmer and get stars, so I’m gonna go practice in the pool!”

“Wait, come back here! That’s not a public pool! Anya!” Loid took off running after the girl as the patients in the hallways looked after them.

Tears pricked Anya’s eyes the more her mind got filled with the boy’s thoughts.

‘Help me! Please! Somebody…anybody…why can’t….why can’t nobody hear…me…’

‘Ma…..mama…please…please hear me…please!’

‘Mama!’

Anya finally managed to see the deep blue waters of the pools up ahead, a woman with a ponytail had just closed a door. “Woo! The pool!”

“Hey, where are your parents?” the question fell on deaf ears, Anya’s heart racing with fear and her head filled with the drowning boy’s screams.

‘I can’t….I can’t…! Help!’

“Woo, the pool! How fun!”

All the adults in the pool looked at her quizzically, but Anya had no time for them.

 She had to find the boy.

‘Where is he?’

‘I’m…gonna die…’

No!

Anya’s legs felt weak, weaker than they’d ever been.

The air in the pool felt sticky, suffocating, too hot all at once. How could adults breathe in here? Why did she feel so out of breath?

‘I’m gonna….’

The splash of cold water washed over Anya like ice over a heated pan, her body jumping from the shock of the sudden temperature change before she forced her eyes to open and survey her surroundings.

There!

The boy’s eyes were wide open, staring at her as if she was the grim reaper coming to claim his soul.

Anya kicked her legs harder, her whole body burning up like a furnace despite the cold water all around her.

Had she taken in enough air before she dived? Why was Anya so tired already? The boy was still so far away.

No, she couldn’t give up! That boy needed help. She wouldn’t let him die!

The burn in her lungs grew worse. She needed air! Air!

‘Anya…can’t….anymore…’ Anya’s thoughts were filled with cries for air and the boy’s cries for life, she couldn’t discern which thoughts were hers or his anymore.

Everything looked so blurry. The pressure was too much. Too much-

Water entered her mouth and Anya kicked her legs and arms harder, before fatigue finally won over her body.

‘Papa…mama….’

Before Anya’s eyes closed fully to the dark abyss of the pool, she felt an incredible force grabbing her collar and pulling her upward.

The water rushed all around her, pulling at her body to remain at the bottom while being pulled away from it.

‘Operation Strix is in danger!’ Loid felt his heart beat wildly in his chest, as if clawing against his ribcage to escape into freedom. ‘Anya is in danger!’

“Tell me, where did the little girl just go?!” Loid’s head whipped this way and that, finally arriving at the pool area, waiting impatiently for the stunned woman next to him to talk.

When there was no answer, Loid rounded on the woman, desperation and fear in his wide blown eyes. “Tell me where my daughter just went!” his lips pulled back in a snarl, fear gripping his heart in a vice. When the woman finally pointed a shaky finger towards the pool area with air bubbles disrupting the surface, Loid felt as if he stood under an ice-cold shower.

No.

Anya!

Without thinking of Operation Strix, without thinking of his own safety or the fate of Westalis and Ostania, Twilight raced towards the edge of the pool and dived into the water.

Loid quickly resurfaced, grabbing the boy and Anya more securely in his arms as he quickly made his way towards the edge of the pool. “Hey, are you two alright?”

The woman from before rushed towards them, grabbing the boy from his arms. “Ken! Ken!!” that must be his mother then.

“Someone get a doctor!” someone shouted in the distance, but Loid only heard white noise.

Anya wasn’t stirring.

“Anya?” Loid heaved himself up and out of the pool, quickly turning Anya to get a better look at her face.

It was pale.

“Anya? Hey.” He gently patted her cheeks, leaning in close to check for breathing. She was breathing, but it was shallow.

Was someone screaming in his ear?

His hands held on tighter to Anya, worry and fear keeping a tight leash on his carefully kept control. “Call an ambulance! Now!” Twilight didn’t register when a team of doctors arrived, he did notice when somebody tried to pry Anya out of his embrace, but he relaxed upon seeing the green and blue scrubs and doctor’s coats.

Twilight’s legs felt like liquid gelatin when he tried to stand, a man in speedos rushing towards him with a clipboard in his hand. “Hey, are you okay? Was that your daughter back there? Does she have a mother? You should call your wife to let her know what happened!”

Wife?

Yor.

Where was his phone? Didn’t he have it on himself? He had shed his jacket before he dived into the pool, but where was his jacket?

The man kindly grabbed his elbow, which distracted Twilight long enough from his racing thoughts to listen to him. “Let me guide you to a nurse, she’ll call your wife for you.”

All Twilight could do was nod, thoughts still racing with Anya and her shallow breathing.

-

“Thank you, Sharon!” Yor called after the woman handed Yor her coffee, feeling tired after a long day of work.

She wondered how Loid and Anya were doing, normally Loid would sent her a message with a quick update on their progress but none came today.

Maybe they were very busy with volunteer work, she knew it could get very busy there.

Chief Barnes suddenly left his office in a hurry and looked directly at Yor. “Hey Forger, there’s a nurse on the line! Your husband and kid are in the hospital!”

The coffee she was about to take a sip from stilled in mid-air, Yor’s hand suddenly entirely too clammy and cold for them to be holding hot coffee.

“...What?” was all that left Yor’s mouth before Chief Barnes quickly ushered her towards the phone. “H-Hello?”

“Mrs. Forger?”

A middle-aged woman replied on the other end of the line and a sense of dread pooled in the pit of Yor’s stomach. “Y-Yes?”

“This is Nurse Joy, please come to the Berlint city hospital at the volunteer center. Your husband and daughter are here. There’s been an accident.”

Yor wasn’t sure when she had begun to sway on the spot, she wasn’t sure when her footing became so unsteady that Chief Barnes had to hold her by her shoulders for her not to fall.

Everything seemed a blur from that call onwards, Yor hadn’t realized when she had packed her bags and left Berlint City Hall, she didn’t even know how she arrived at the hospital, all she knew was she had to get there as fast as she could.

Loid and Anya were hurt.

-

The staff at Berlint General Hospital were schooled in dealing with patients and their worried family members, but they weren’t prepared for Yor Forger.

The woman had scouted the halls as if possessed, driven by maternal instinct that a lot of the hospital staff could sympathize with. Still, she really didn’t have to look this murderous.

“Excuse me, who are-“

“Where are my husband and child? Loid and Anya Forger!” Yor really didn’t have to look this murderous at the male nurse.

It wasn’t until Yor saw Loid slumped over Anya’s small body, lying on the hospital bed, that she felt like she could breathe again.

All the tension and fear left her at once and her legs threatened to give out.

She didn’t know when it registered to Loid she was there, she certainly had no idea how the man managed to move from his seat next to Anya to her side so quickly to catch her fall, but he did.

One arm wrapped securely around her waist, the gym bag digging into his soaked side that Yor had brought with her.

When had she brought the gym bag with her-

“Yor?”

Both adults blinked at each-other, as if in a stupor, until Yor seemed to melt against Loid and her voice came out hoarse from crying and threatening murder. “What…what happened, Loid? Is Anya okay?”

Loid’s grip around Yor tightened, his chin resting on top of her head and despite the exhaustion rolling off his body in waves, it almost seemed like the embrace was giving him strength.

“She’s fine, Yor. They’re still checking her breathing, but everything is fine.” He carefully guided Yor to sit on a spare chair next to him and Anya’s bed, her hands immediately moving to inspect the child, as if Yor’s hands had the healing abilities of the doctors around them to assess the damage, “Anya dived into the pool to save a drowning boy. She…can’t swim that well yet and almost…” Loid sucked in a breath. “I managed to get them both out in time.”

Yor blinked away the tears stinging her eyes and focused on her husband’s voice to calm her frayed nerves down.

-1 hour later-

It was already 6pm, the doctor and nurses had checked on Anya regularly to ensure her vital signs were in order.

A nurse offered to check on Loid, but he politely declined. He had felt more ill from the shock than his quick dive in the pool. Normally, this would be nothing since his training in WISE had been far worse, but there was something about this situation that had drained him far more than any physically strenuous operation ever could.

It had been the emotional turmoil he found himself in when confronted with the possibility of Anya drowning.

Loid sighed, running a hand through his still damp hair. Why did this room feel so stuffy? It had already been an hour and his clothes didn’t seem to dry as fast as they should’ve.

Before he would drive himself mad with these pointless questions, Twilight focused on Anya’s sleeping face, his hand gently rubbing her knuckles, his other hand rubbing Anya’s belly through the blanket.

‘How did she know that the child was drowning? Anya mentioned it before we reached the pool, that woman told me Anya said she could see air bubbles from the shallower pool and that’s how she knew somebody was underwater, but I remember Anya telling me about someone drowning in the pool.’ Twilight glanced pensively at the sleeping girl’s face, his hand moving to pat her head gently. ‘There is something about her…even if Franky couldn’t find anything in her files, I’m sure there’s something Anya’s not telling me.’

“Loid.” Loid startled when he heard Yor’s voice from right beside him, her own hand resting on top of Anya’s legs, pulling the blanket down to cover her feet fully. The room had been so quiet before, Loid had almost forgotten Yor was here with him. “You’re still soaked, please get changed, I’ll watch over Anya.”

Loid spied the gym bag on the chair in the corner, assuming it to be filled with a spare set of clothes for him and most likely Anya. Yor had still been at work when the hospital had called, yet she still rushed back home to bring a spare change of clothes and food with her before rushing to the hospital to see them.

Feeling an uncanny warmth bloom in his chest, warming his ice-cold body, Loid stood up to grab the bag and leave to change, but not before he looked back at Yor. “Thank you Yor, you must’ve been terrified to receive that call from the hospital, and yet, you still thought of bringing us fresh clothes and food…thank you.” He smiled, a genuine smile that spoke of deep gratitude.

Yor returned his smile, nodding in his direction. “Of course.”

When Loid left to change, Yor sighed deeply and moved to Loid’s seat to gently grab Anya’s hands, Yor’s bangs covering her eyes.

Droplets of liquid fell on Anya’s hands, so small and tiny cradled in Yor’s, as the woman silently wept for the child she thought she lost today.

When Loid came back dressed in clean, dry clothes he found Yor sound asleep next to Anya, resting her head next to Anya’s body. The regular beeping of the heart monitor a reassuring sound in the quiet room.

Loid quietly set aside the bag and grabbed the blanket a nurse kindly left them. Moving carefully, mindful of Yor’s sharp senses, Loid gently draped the blanket over Yor’s form, tucking her in so it didn’t fall off.

His keen eyes spotted the tear tracks on her face and the residue of liquid in the corners of her red, puffy eyelids.

‘She was crying.’ thought Twilight, realizing how, despite not being biologically related, Yor still considered Anya as her daughter. Her daughter who almost drowned today while trying to save a drowning boy herself.

While Loid had experienced and knew great loss, he couldn’t fathom the pain a mother went through upon the loss of her child.

Whenever the older soldiers would trade war stories over the campfire on the front lines, they would always speak of death and the decorated heroes who fell prey to a senseless war.

And they would always be mindful of mentioning the mothers weeping over their dead sons, the light catching the medal placed upon the coffin keeping their son’s body, an honor given upon a body who died protecting a country the young man hadn’t know what to protect it from.

A deep sigh left Loid, as if the sorrows and the heavy emotion tried to exit through his mouth. He knew it was wise to catch some sleep, after today’s events, they would need the strength for tomorrow when Anya would be discharged and go home.

After all, their little girl had saved someone’s life, that ought to call for a celebration.

Twilight soon fell into a deep sleep with that thought in mind, exhaustion finally forcing his body to shut down.

-

When Loid opened his eyes, bright light hurt his vision for a moment.

Once his sight adjusted to the brightness of the room, Loid could make out two figures looking at him.

One was Yor, still dressed in her work clothes and appearing relieved.

The other was Anya, tired but beaming with a smile stretching her cheeks.

Twilight had never felt so grateful to wake up for the next day.

Thanks for reading! :) Hope you enjoyed! Also on Ao3

[buckyownsmylife]

Count the Shadows - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky wants you to sit on his face.

Warnings: smut, a more dominant reader than I’m used to writing, pining!Bucky, all of the good stuff, second hand embarassment

A/N: so... this is a gift to @navegandoaciegas. She gave me the idea for the Graveyard series ending, and that actually inspired me to keep working on that fic that was supposed to only be a oneshot and then became the pride of my eye. I hope you don’t mind that I’m dedicating this to her 😅 It also allowed me to explore some new kinks that might be appearing thanks to her writing and so really, I felt like this had to see the light of day. But really, if it weren’t for @world-of-aus, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ and @awesomerextyphoon​‘s support, I probably never would have had the courage to publish it, so thank you guys so much!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Friday nights at Stark tower meant that something out of the ordinary was about to happen, and I’d already grown used to it, after being a part of the Avengers for the last two months. However, that didn’t mean that the prospect of a night planned by Tony Stark didn’t bring me a hell of a lot of anxiety, to the point where sometimes I’d catch myself wishing for a simple recon mission to take me away for the weekend. 

Despite all of my fears and discomfort, I’d been lucky so far. Not once had his attentions turned towards me, and he never even so much as called me to dance with him during one of the raves he liked to organize, so I was able to slip by unnoticed, seizing the opportunity to drink the good (expensive) booze and talk to my friends before retiring for the night.

By Wednesday that week, it was clear that the same couldn’t be said about the next event he’d be hosting.

“Say, Y/L/N, have I thrown you a welcome party?” Was my rude awakening on that fateful morning. Until his arrival, I’d been happily whipping up some pancakes for the supersoldiers and Sam, my morning run partners. The moment his question was processed in my brain however, I froze on my spot, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Oh, now, don’t give me that look. When have I ever thrown a bad party?”

Bucky choked on his coffee, and I immediately was by his side, lightly tapping his back to help him. “I guess this answers your question,” I joked, but with a serious face. Unfortunately, Tony simply rolled his eyes, too used to Bucky and I’s “antisocial behavior”, like he usually described, to give us any attention. “Okay, so maybe not bad, but if you’re going to throw a party using me as an excuse, I have at least one request. And it’s a dealbreaker for me.”

Something in my words truly interested Tony, because instead of brushing me off he actually turned to face me, raising his eyebrows in expectation. “So what you mean is that if I don’t give you what you want, you won’t join the party?”

I nodded, standing my ground. “That’s right.” Next to me, Bucky stood straighter in his chair. 

“Neither will I.” That brought a smile to my lips, and I turned to hug him quickly. 

“Thanks Buck,” I whispered in his ear, relishing in the way he always held onto my embrace just a second longer than I expected. It was always like this with us. Ever since I first noticed just how touch-starved the super soldier was, I’d find little excuses to touch him. And if I ever doubted my first assumption, the way he always chased away my warmth for just a second longer was enough to prove to me that I was doing something right.

“Very well,” Tony said after clearing his throat to regain my attention. “What’s your request?”

“Only the people who live in this tower can be invited.” I was expecting a lot of fuss from the billionaire, but surprisingly, all I got was a disappointed sigh.

“Figured as much. Okay, big shot. But here’s the deal: you’ll have to stay the entire night and participate in every game we decide to play.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. That sounded fair. “It’s a deal then! All you have to do is be here on Friday night, capisce? Don’t be late.”

I should have known something was up back then, but as it were, I was just happy that I was able to stop him from filling the Tower with people I didn’t know. Not only would it help to keep Bucky relaxed (and perhaps even allow him to enjoy himself for once!), it’d also help to keep myself relaxed. 

I’d never been one to enjoy big crowds, and I especially didn’t want to celebrate joining the team with people who weren’t even a part of it. It made sense. So when Friday night rolled around, it found me in a way better mood than I expected. I even accepted Nat’s suggestion and let her pick my clothes. I was feeling so great, in fact, that I felt bolder, brave enough to accept to wear a satin red dress with a deep neckline that seemed to be able to attract every man’s attention upon seeing me. 

Even Bucky seemed drawn to it. And I couldn’t deny that knowing I held that sort of power even to a man of his caliber, a man that attractive, made me feel even braver. But with braveness comes stupidity, and I was brutally reminded of that fact by Tony’s smug face when I heard the dare he had for me.

Listen, I would have never accepted the idea of fucking truth or dare if it wasn’t for this stupidly sexy dress. I mean, the powers that clothing can have… They can make you blind with clout. That’s the only way I could justify what happened next.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I argued, much to Tony’s (and the rest of the team’s) amusement. Each and every single one of them looked at me with barely contained laughter, with the exception of Bucky, apparently.

“Careful, sweetheart… The dare’s already on and that wasn’t very sexy of you.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I very carefully thought out my gameplay here. I could very well retreat to my bedroom and go to sleep. But then again, this whole night had been so fun, and Tony had been really nice to abide by my wishes to only invite people that I knew…

“Fine. I’ll spend the rest of the night being as blunt as possible as I hit on you guys. After all, this is probably the only way you’ll ever get to hear me talking dirty, huh?” And with a wink in Tony’s direction, I resigned myself to face the challenge ahead. “So, let’s get on with this orgy, shall we?”

Bucky’s P.O.V.

It’s not that I was jealous. Of course, I wasn’t jealous. It’s just… hearing her say those things in front of everyone else made my blood boil like nothing else. I knew it wasn’t my place to feel this way. It’s not like she owed me anything, much less attention. As much as I wanted, she wasn’t mine, or even close to that.

Despite being head over heels in love with her, I still hadn’t gathered enough courage to even ask her out for a cup of coffee - or anything else, for that matter. And the worst part was that everyone but her seemed to know about my feelings. Which made this whole night even worse, since I was pretty sure Tony had done all of this on purpose.

So I had to sit through a lot of “Oh, please fuck me”, and “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,” none of which were addressed to me - and those were the least graphic ones. I couldn’t really blame her, since I hadn’t spoken a single word from the second this whole dare started, but still, I was sulking, and I knew it.

In fact, I was so lost inside my own head, that I didn’t even realize what had happened when she asked “Do you want me to sit on your face or what?” (which I’m pretty sure was directed to Sam) until a heavy silence took the place of the animated chatter that had been going on. Imagine my surprise when I realized everyone was staring at me.

“What?” I asked, my heart already beating out of control, looking from one face to the other in the hopes of grasping what I had lost in the conversation.

“You just said you wanted Y/N to sit on your face,” was the response I got, from no other than Sam himself, and if my heart had been pounding on my chest only seconds before, now it felt as if it had stopped altogether.

“You’re crazy,” I tried to joke, trying with all of my might not to look at the woman who was staring at me. I could feel her gaze on my face. It burned and I ached to look, to see what sort of expression she was wearing, but my anxiety was just too strong - stronger than my curiosity ever could be.

“I wish I was, man. But you literally just answered ‘Please sit on mine’ when she asked if she could sit on my face.” I was going to die. I was sure of it. My face felt so warm, there was no way I wouldn’t just spontaneously combust any second now.

The worst part was, I knew Sam was telling the truth. Because those were the precise words I thought the second that I heard the offer leave her beautiful lips. And now I didn’t know what to do.

“Fine, your room or mine?” She broke me out of my self-deprecating thoughts, surprising me so much that I automatically raised my eyes to meet hers, finding her looking down at me with a mischievous smirk on her lips. Was she joking? Was this part of the dare?

The room erupted on laughs and I forced myself to join them, praying to whoever was available up in the heavens that they would let me be and thankfully, soon enough, the conversation smoothly transitioned away from me and my stupid malfunctioning. Y/N didn’t look in my direction again, which helped with my task of trying to get my breathing pattern into a normal one once more, and in a half hour people were breaking up into small groups and going back into their own rooms for the night.

I figured it was safe to do the same. So I got back to my bedroom’s floor with my hands buried deep in my pocket, trying to figure out what the hell had happened that night, when the door to my room suddenly opened and a tiny hand wrapped around my wrist, hauling me as best as they could into my own living quarters.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Bucky looked beyond surprised as he stared down at me with his mouth hanging open. I was tempted to tease him about letting flies in if he stayed like that, but I didn’t want to make this any more difficult for him than it clearly already would be. To be honest, I also had no idea how I’d been able to move that mountain of a man.

“What are you doing in my room?” Oh, right. That’s what he was concerned about. Fair enough.

“I wanted to show you something.” By the way he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to say anything else, it was clear that it wasn’t the answer he was expecting, but then again, he obviously wasn’t expecting me to be in his room. 

“W-What?”

I grinned, immediately curling my fingers on the edge of my dress before promptly pulling it over my head and sending it flying across the room. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and it only made my smile grow bigger as I quickly got rid of my bra before finally doing the same to my underwear.

“What? Did you think I would let you suffer?” The poor thing, he didn’t seem capable of answering at all, eyes the size of plates as he stared at my naked body, practically drooling. I ran my hands over my breasts, cupping them slightly before trailing further down.

“Did you think I’d let Sam learn what my pussy tasted like? Or Steve? No, no, no, James. This is for you and you only.” Burying a finger inside of me, I made sure to let out my loudest, most pornographic moan as I slowly thrusted it once inside of me before raising it to his face.

“See how I’m soaked? I always get like this when I’m near you.” Bucky actually whimpered, knees faltering for a second as he reached out to grab a hold of himself with the wall next to us, and I laughed before raising a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “What are you waiting for? Get on your knees.”

My breath hitched as I watched the mountain of a man before me literally do exactly that, hypnotizingly staring at the space between my legs before slowly meeting my eyes with a look of pure need in his perfect face. Jesus. How the fuck was I supposed to control myself when he was looking at me like that?

I had gathered the sense that Bucky wanted me, that much became clear tonight, but I had no idea the extent of his desire until just then. Until he looked at me with pupils dilated from under his stupidly long eyelashes, breath coming out from his open mouth like he was desperate for me, desperate to taste what I had to offer.

He looked like he would do anything I asked him to in that second, and the feeling of power that thought gave me left me horny as nothing else. So my first order of business was to command, “Eat me.”

The second the words were out, it was clear that was all he was waiting to do what both of us so clearly wanted. Two strong hands grabbed me from behind and with that grasp of my ass, he pulled me to him until I was in fact seated on his face, wholly dependent on his muscular body to keep me up.

“Oh God,” he was the one to whisper, and a shiver ran through my body as he licked my pussy from clit to hole before diving in as if he was determined to rid me of all of my wetness - knowing fully well it was an impossible task.

Bucky Barnes didn’t need any guidance in the art of eating pussy, that quickly became clear to me, but I still felt the need to grab a hold of his hair just to help keep myself grounded into the reality of this moment. The way he moaned against my cunt at the action, the vibrations running through my body and making me tremble on top of him, certainly didn’t make me regret any part of my decision. It was clear he liked that sting of pain.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I was having a hard time believing this was really happening, even though I had Y/N’s completely naked body on top of me, her cunt spread open by my own tongue, her juices covering every inch of my tongue. I couldn’t even convince myself to close my eyes to fully enjoy her taste, too preoccupied with memorizing every little thing about this moment. 

And the second she opened her eyes to find me already looking up at her, I was particularly glad for my decision, if only because I got to witness the delicious smile that took over her beautiful face before she grinded her pussy against my lips.

“Fuck, you look so good like this. I could get used to this.” A jolt ran through my body at the implications of what she was saying. Before I could even fully process it, I was already responding with the only thing that occupied my mind then, “Please do.”

If I thought I would scare her away with my desperation, a delighted giggle immediately managed to calm my nerves. “Do you always say what you’re thinking?” She asked, still rubbing herself against me, so it took me a while to be able to moan against her wetness an honest, “Yes.” When I did though, the vibrations managed to be exactly what she needed to gush her release onto my waiting mouth, making me growl in excitement. She was so fucking sweet. My cock was so fucking hard it hurt, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to pleasure her, how much I never wanted this night to end.

Unfortunately for my plans, she decided to climb down from me, eyes drinking my kneeling position while she caught her breath for a bit before she threw herself on my bed, feet on the mattress so I’d get a perfect vision of her perfect pussy. Hypnotized, I didn’t even notice I’d gotten up and approached her until her voice broke me out of my reverie.

“Would you like to take a picture?” I knew she was joking, but there was no way I’d miss the slightest possibility of getting at least a permanent reminder of this night, so I answered as truthfully as possible yet again, “Of course. Would you let me take one?”

I was expecting her to laugh it off and move this along, but once more her answer surprised me. “Only if you promise me you won’t use it to jerk off to.” The confusion must have been clear in my expression, because she quickly added, “That’s what I’m here for.”

My heartbeat picked up as I struggled to process her words. “D-Does this mean you’ll want to do this again?” I watched as a small smile grew on her lips and she sat up on the mattress before reaching out to me.

“Every night, if you’ll have me.”

Another moment of silence as I struggled to accept that this was real, that this was really happening. 

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t contain my delighted giggles at the lovestruck expression on Bucky’s eyes. But my need for him was growing deeper every second, so while he stared I reached out for his jeans, quickly managing to unzip them and push them down until I could wrap my hands around his member.

“Jesus, you’re so hard.” Even without any actual stimulation, apparently just giving me pleasure was enough to get him ready for me. I could barely wait to feel his cock inside of my pussy.

“I-I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered while climbing on the bed and settling between my thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about this for the longest time.” Gosh, could he be any more perfect?

“Well, it’s happening now, James. Please, please, fuck me. I need your cock in me.” His lips looked wet from our earlier activities, and my gaze immediately fell on them when he gasped at my words and the feeling of his cock rubbing on my pussy. When I positioned the head and pulled him closer to me, signaling what I wanted, he followed without any resistance, his entire body trembling as he struggled to keep himself up with both hands on either side of my head.

“You’re doing so great, baby. God, it feels so good to be with you like this.” Apparently, Bucky grew tired of fighting against his own body, since he allowed his massive frame to fall just over mine, resting his forehead on mine.

“Fuck.” Hearing the word whispered so close to me, his warm breath dancing over my skin, while he was effectively about to do just that, felt incredibly arousing for something so small. “It’s like I can’t get close enough to you.”

In the search to feel more connected to me, he finally started thrusting, and then it was like I’d forgotten to speak altogether. Only able to hold tight to those shoulders that tempted me for so long, I struggled to keep the moans and whimpers inside so I could continue to hear the little breathless whispers that he was releasing, almost like he was speaking to himself…

“So wet…” It all only made me more desperate for the enchanting man on top of me, so beautiful, and yet so insecure of his own allure. I hoped after tonight he’d start understanding just how attractive he truly was, at least to me.

“Bucky…” I managed to whisper, calling out for his attention and earning it when his eyes snapped open to meet mine. “Bucky, kiss me.” I needed to feel those lips against mine, to have that one sweet gesture of entwinement that we still hadn’t shared. Apparently, he felt the same need, because in a second, he was onto me, mouth slowly prying mine open so his tongue could explore yet another part of my body that now belonged to him.

By then, he couldn’t contain his moans anymore, and I was grateful that I was still able to keep mine low so I wouldn’t miss the symphony of whimpers and whines, especially after he pulled away to catch his breath and his eyes met mine.

“Fuck, darling…” Each sound from his lips made my pulse grow quicker, my body warmer, that incredible high closer and closer to me. And still, because I needed to tease him, I found myself saying, “For someone who was so embarrassed about the team knowing you wanted me, you surely can be loud.”

Bucky hid his head on the crook of my neck, making goosebumps rise all over my body as he rubbed his nose against my skin, breathing me in. If I thought it was a gesture of shyness, his next words assured me that wasn’t the case at all.

“I want them to hear. I want them to know I’m yours.” The confession had the fire of desire burning brighter inside of me, and my hands slipped around his back, certainly leaving nailprints behind.

“Oh, is that it? You’re mine now, James?” The thought thrilled me to no end, but I needed him to say it, not only because I wanted to be sure there was no uncertainty in his feelings for me, but also because it made me even weaker for the soldier and the dominance he had over my body.

“C-Can I be? Please?” There was so much vulnerability in his beautiful blue eyes that the only answer I managed to give at first was the connection between our lips again, pulling him down to me so our bodies were completely glued to one another once more. My fingers buried in his locks, I pulled on them when I needed to gather some air, and finally give him an actual answer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Hell fucking yes. We’ll be the hottest couple on Earth.” A shiver went through my body at the realization that she truly wanted this, that she truly wanted me. A sound escaped my lips before I could realize, and in fact, I only noticed it because she broke me out of my reverie by saying, “You know, everytime you whine, I have the overwhelming urge to just tie you down to this bed and give you a reason to do so.”

Shit. This woman made me weak. And the moment I lost control of my own weight, she took advantage of it, inverting our positions so she was the one on top, while managing to keep my cock nestled deep inside of her.

“Do you want to cum, sweetheart?” Hearing the filthiness that spilled out of her lips only made me hotter and hotter, my hands flying up to hold her waist as she began to ride me. “Tell me just how badly you want it. Say it, or I’ll leave you right here, right on the edge of bliss, and I’ll cum on your thigh instead.”

I heaved loudly, trying to force my own tongue to work, but the sight of her breasts bouncing with her movements was too hypnotizing. I would never regain full control of my body again, I realized, for as long as she wanted to keep me around. But instead of feeling lost, like I did when the Winter Soldier took over, all I could feel was peace.

She wanted me. She wanted my body, my soul, every part of me. Despite every missing piece, every scar. Everything anyone had ever done to me, everything I’d done to so many. And I’d gladly give it all to her, forever.

“Please, please let me cum, ma’am.” The name left my lips before I could realize, but it made her smile. And right then, I knew I’d done the right thing. Her movements picked up, her hand searching mine to guide my thumb to meet her nub, and as soon as I started rubbing it, she gasped in the most melodic of sounds.

“Cum for me, James. I wanna feel you cumming inside of me.” Jesus fucking christ. I didn’t have a choice, my body reacting to her calling like she was a siren and I was helpless. I felt helpless. It wasn’t difficult to see that I liked it, though. I liked being under her control. I liked how she pulled me apart and held me in place all at the same time.

“If you don’t take your thumb away, so help me God.” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts, realizing her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe properly now that she’d reached her climax with me. I smiled sheepishly before adjusting on the bed, right when she climbed down from my body, and a whine escaped my chest despite my better wishes, making her look at me with an amused smile.

“I’m sorry, I just… I kinda miss you already.” Her smile grew bigger, her eyes twinkling under the moonlight as she leaned over me to kiss me, and I couldn’t help it. I just had to hug her closer, have her falling on top of my chest just so I could invert our positions and kiss her some more.

“I want something that’ll show them I’m yours.” I admitted once she pulled away to gather her breath, and her eyebrows rose in surprise, but also interest, I could tell.

“Like a collar?”

“I was thinking more like a love bite, but I don’t mind.” Her giggle was the most adorable sound in the universe, I was sure of it. 

“Baby, I’ll let you fuck me in front of them, if it’ll help your insecurity,” she soothed me, and the thought of having everyone see us together, fully understand that I belonged to her, electrified me. “You’re mine now. You can be damn sure if anyone tries to flirt with you, they’ll have to deal with me. And I’ll make sure they know I’m yours and only yours if they try to chat me up.”

The thought made me smile, and I laid back on the bed and pulled her to rest against my chest, my hand instinctively coming up to play with her hair. “I can get used to that.” We stayed like that for a while, just breathing in each other’s presences, relishing in the comfortable silence between us, until I felt the need to break it.

“Can I kiss you again?” I felt her smile against my skin, before she pushed away to reach for me and connect our lips once more. God, I don’t think I’d ever get used to knowing I could have this anytime I wanted. “One more,” I begged when she pulled away, and she pretended to think for a moment before shooting me a mischievous grin. 

“Only if you come fuck me in the shower.”

The only thing I could think to say in response, as I watched her strut in the direction of the bathroom, was “Fuck, you’re sexy.”

[holylulusworld]

Smirk of the devil

Title: Smirk of the devil

Summary: He’s the devil in disguise.

Square filled for @spnquotebingo​​​​​​: (“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years.” – SPN)

Word Count: 1,9k

Pairing: Clubowner!Dean x fem!Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruby, Gadreel, unnamed girl

Rating: Explicit

Warnings:  angst, language, smut, unprotected sex, a hint of fluff, mentions of cheating (implied), sadness, toxic relationship?, unrequited feelings, Dean hurt the reader more than once, hopeful ending but no happy ending

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​​

SPN Quote Bingo masterlist

“Excuse me, miss,“ a young girl, barely twenty-one coos. She looks up at you with big doe eyes, batting her eyelashes. “I’m looking for Dean Winchester. He asked me to come here at nine.”

“No, you don’t,” anyone not knowing you would think you are trying to be rude to the girl, but this is so far from the truth. “Girls like you shouldn’t come to places like these.” you huff when the girl rolls her eyes. “You don’t want to meet up with Dean.”

“And you know this why?” she sasses, hands on her hips now. 

You can smell the strawberry chewing gum she tortured the whole time and can’t help but chuckle at her bratty attitude. Once upon a time, you were just like her.

Sweet, innocent, an intact heart beating in your chest.

“You’re not my mom. So, why do you think you can keep me away from Dean,” you’d like to slap her face at the ‘mom’ comment but bite your tongue. You never were a violent person. Maybe if you were, Dean would run around with one ball missing. “I bet you’re just jealous he wants me.”

What can you possibly tell the girl? That he will break her heart. That, once he has you in his clutches he will strip off your dignity, rip any pride left out of your chest and replace your former self with a drooling mess, begging him to do it all over again.

“Speak of the devil,” you whisper, watching Dean waltz into his club, the bunker, the place you first met. Those days seem a lifetime away. Back then you still were a cute and clueless girl, missing the way he tainted you with every touch and kiss. 

“I want to speak to him, now,” the girl pouts and you get the feeling she’s rather a girl scout wanting to sell cookies than her pussy to a man she won’t be able to handle. “NOW!”

“It’s your funeral, sweet cheeks,” you wave her off, walk past the girl to talk to Dean Winchester, the devil himself. Oh, how you wish you could tell him to go to hell, but you would only beg him to take you with him.

“Sweetheart,” he dips his head, shamelessly roams your body with darkened eyes, “you look ready to get eaten.” damn him, he smirks, and you get weak in the knees. “And you will—”

“Another of your fangirls,” you jerk your head in the girl’s direction, rolling your eyes. “Guess you are down to high school girls now, Winchester. Shame on you.”

“Jealous?” he cocks his head, watches you turn on your heels, ignoring your racing heart when he walks behind you, one hand on the small of your back. “So, how’s it going with your mysterious boyfriend lately?”

“Wonderful,” you grit out, already walking faster to brush Dean off. “I told you, no questions about my love life or I’ll quit once for all, Dean. Go, take care of your girl.”

It’s when he walks toward the girl that you allow yourself to admire his back, his broad shoulders, and, yes, his ass.

“Ogling my brother again?” Sam stands too close for comfort, but you don’t mind. “What’s the state of your on-and-off relationship? Who’s winning this round?”

“No one is going to win shit, Sammy. Dean wants to fuck every woman with a pulse, and I want a faithful man, period,” you turn your attention back toward the bartender who wanted to talk to you about the latest order.

“He’s hard to handle, I told you so,” Sam nudges your side. “Why don’t you lay claim on him and show any woman he’s yours.”

“Dean is not my man, never was,” you sigh, eyes filled with unshed tears once again. “When we met, he did anything to get me, and then, he dropped me like any other girl. I’m not what he wants, Sam. Dean lives for his club, Baby, and having sex with any woman he can get into his bed…”

“Bunny hole would be the better name for this shithole,” you grit out, downing your first drink of the night. “Give me another one, Gade. I wanna get drunk tonight.”

“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t drink at work,” Dean sits on the barstool next to you, grinning when you grasp for the next drink. 

He easily snatches the drink out of your hands, downing it in one go, slamming the glass onto the counter. “Your boss could catch you red-handed and fire you or slap your ass. Whatever you prefer.”

“Go ahead and fire me, Winchester. This shithole will go down without the manager keeping it alive,” you quip. “Now let me have another drink. My shift is almost over.”

“Almost,” he whispers in your ear, fingertips sliding over your thigh to hike up your skirt. “How about we talk about this at my office in the back, Miss Y/L/N?” you place your hand on top of Dean’s to guide it to his thigh, hiding you shivered at his touch.

“Don’t hurt yourself, boss,” you lean closer to whisper the words. “I think you had enough fun with little miss sunshine not an hour ago. I hope you checked she was at age, Dean.”

“Jesus, I asked her to come around for a job, nothing else,” Dean grumbles, hand moving toward your thigh again. “I don’t play with girls, only with women.”

“Yeah, I remember how well you played with half of the female population in town,” snickering Dean slides off his barstool to stand behind you. He’s caging you with his body, places both hands on each side of the bar counter.

“You were one of them, and I remember you were so eager to get out of that cute dress you wore only for me, sweetheart,” he husks in your ear. “Come to my office, Miss Y/L/N, and let’s talk about your behavior lately.”

“If you insist, boss,” you hate you follow him all too eager.

While Dean waltzes toward his office, waving at people, you fight your way through the masses, unbeknownst Sam is following your every step with his eyes.

“She will fall for him all over again,” Ruby sighs. The brunette sips at her drink while sitting on Sam’s lap. “Can you not tell your brother to stop breaking my friend’s heart? She deserves better for fuck’s sake. Two years ago, she found a nice guy and tried to quit only to do the walk of shame the next morning.”

“I can’t help two fools in love to find their way. I tried, Baby. Don’t ask me to talk to my brother about love again. He’s stubborn. You know that Ruby.”

“I know, still, she deserves better than a quick fuck at his office only to end up alone and weeping on the floor for weeks after he had his way with her…”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Dean groans with every thrust. “I’ve missed this tight little cunt around me.” you hate yourself for letting Dean in once again while he takes you apart.

What can a girl do when he has you pressed against the wall the moment he closed the door behind you. His lips on yours, his hands on your ass to heave you up to hold you against the wall.

His thrusts are more demanding tonight, his lips tender against your throat and his hand, well his hands hold you a little tighter. “Dean, fuck—we shouldn’t.”

“A little too late for regrets,” the devil moans in your neck, moves a little slower to drag his thick length against your walls. “You’re so wet for me, Sugar.” you whimper at the nickname. 

It brings back memories of all the nights he called you like that, voice hoarse and his eyes only set on you.

“Go to hell—” you finally choke out, still, you hold tight onto his shoulders when he starts to fuck up into you at a madding pace. 

“I’ll just take you with me,” he grips your ass tighter, moves you up and down his length while his lips do the worst thing possible – they claim yours in a bruising kiss, take your breath away. 

Dean moans against your soft pillows, ignores a single tear that runs down your cheek or that your cunt flutters around him.

“You’re mine, my girl,” he demands, hips jerking uncontrollably now. “Never gonna let you go. Just hold tight, baby.”

You grasp for his shoulders, dig your nails deep into his skin when you can’t hold back the approaching high anymore. A wave of pleasure washes over you and for a moment everything is like it should be—until it isn’t. 

His warmth fills you and you remember the way he ended things, right after he fucked you against the wall at his place.

“What if you let me fall?” there is so much fear and pain hidden behind those few words Dean stops moving for a moment. He just looks at you pinned to the wall, bare and vulnerable right in front of him. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Why do you always keep coming back to me?” he nips at your lips, hands wrapping around your back. “Why, baby?”

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years,” you give Dean a sad smile, eyes filled with tears again. “Maybe I’m a masochist and like to get hurt. I don’t know why I let you in over and over again only to get broken.”

“I hate to break it for you, but we have this thing going on for almost six years,” Dean laughs when you punch his shoulder. “Maybe a little longer.”

“I know, dumbass,” you shake your head. “Two years ago, I found a new job and tried to leave town, but then you dragged me back into your life, and since then…”

“You try to escape me and my charming personality…”

“Why are you still here?” looking over your shoulder you wonder why Dean didn’t leave your place like he always does after he got what he wanted. “Isn’t one of your other girls waiting for you?”

“I told you that the girl was there for a job, not to suck my dick,” he kicks his shoes off and drops his shirt to the ground before he unzips his pants. “I want to stay the night.”

“Why?” watching Dean strip his socks off you frown. “Dean, you don’t need to pretend shit, okay. We both know I was just convenient again.” you turn around, not wanting to face the devil again. If you do, he’ll drag you down to hell again.

“Y/N, baby,” he crawls under the covers to press his face into your shoulder, “you’re not convenient to me. I swear, I asked the girl to come to the club for a job. She asked around at my mom’s place and I offered she can take over a few shifts. As a waitress, not for me to… you know…”

“How shall I know?” you hate that his warmth lulls you into safety. And you hate his arms wrap around your waistline even more. “All you do is to bang random chicks at your office. Just like you did with me not an hour ago.”

“You’re not a random chick, Y/N,” oddly Dean clings to you tonight. He burrows his face in your neck, not letting go of you until he feels your breathing even out. “Maybe you are the only girl I ever loved. I was just too afraid to keep you in my life.”

You can’t react to his confession as you are fast asleep. Dean doesn’t care. He needed to get it off his chest. 

“No matter what, you’ll always be mine, sweetheart. Come hell or high water,” he whispers. 

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll give him another chance to prove he’s not the devil, only a lonely man who messed things up years ago.

>> Part 2

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