#i got a little ahead of myself doing so much work on the graphics before i can even make it functional with the code and everything

[mossymanor]

Low res preview of the dress up game I'm working on! It will be fairy themed, only one skin tone for now until I can figure out the code and get it working, but then I plan to add more as well as additional dresses and wings. I also still need to design the menu/controls.

[citrus-moonlight]

Danger Starts the Sharp Incline

Fandom: MCU - Age of Ultron, Black Panther Pairing: Demon!Klaue x Fem Scientist Reader Chapters: 1 of 1 Word count: 4.5K Rating: Explicit

Summary: At your scientific organization the study of demon energy output has become no less mundane than it would at any other research facility. That is until you find yourself trapped with the demon who has recently shifted in your thoughts from an idle curiosity to a distraction.

Warnings: Explicit Rating!, No Age Specified, PWP, One Shot, Smut, Let Me Be Clear: This Is Absolute Filth, Monster Fucking, Demon Fucking, Could be viewed as Dubcon, Implied Mind Manipulation, But to be clear reader is Into It, Pet Names, Touch Starved Demon, Oral Sex (Fem Receiving), Vaginal Fingering, Big Hands I Know You're the One, Unprotected PIV, Size Kink, Squirting, A Lot of Demon Cum, Like A Lot, Cum Marking, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms (both), Overstimulation, Possessiveness

A/N: Once again, this was supposed to be a quick little smutty thing that ended up getting very, very away from me. This honestly could have been even longer (it was over 5.5k and counting at one point!), but I managed to reign myself in, lol. I almost feel like I have enough for a part two, so who knows, perhaps I'll revisit this AU one day in the future!

This was inspired by the first bit of this absolutely incredible demon/scientist blurb* by @biscuitdragonwithastick, which you should definitely read first (thank you for the ok to go ahead with this!). It fully dug its claws (pun intended?) into my brain and refused let me go. I couldn't stop thinking about a Demon!Klaue AU, and thanks to some lovely encouragement, this is the result!

Please, please mind the tags, my dears, and thank you for reading!

*Demon's name has been changed here to fit the AU

Dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics ❤️

UPDATING TO ADD PLEASE GO CHECK OUT THIS DEMON!KLAUE FANART BY MY INCREDIBLE LOVELY TALENTED FRIEND, truly I have not stopped screaming! 😍🥹💕

Work title is from "All Mine" by Portishead

AO3 Link

Make no mistake You shan't escape Tethered and tied There's nowhere to hide from me All mine You have to be

Klaw’s reaction continues to be noted by the higher-ups, and eventually it’s decided that they want to conduct an experiment, using you.

The next time you’re scheduled on the cleaning rotation they want to take the opportunity to determine if there’s a measurable difference in output and chemical composition - before and after you’ve been in the room with him.

“Just consider what it might mean to the future of energy research”, they’d said. “It could lead to the discovery of a demon-sensitive pheromone additive that boosts energy output across the board.”

Although you flush at the outward acknowledgement of what’s been happening, you can’t deny that it intrigues you.

Especially since you had started dreaming about him.

Since you’d stopped being able to control how wet you got when you observed him.

Since the self-consciousness you’d felt at the sidelong glances of your colleagues had started feeling like something else. 

Something like pride.

* * * * * *

Two days later you’re scheduled for the night shift alone, with not much else to do but make the occasional note in the shift log and wait for the alarm that indicates the mare’s collection tank is full. So you wait. 

And watch.

For the first time you have a chance to really just look at him, and you’re finding it difficult to pay attention to the instruments that you should be monitoring. Your eyes instead are continually drawn back to the observation window and the thick mop of black curls that falls across his forehead where his horns emerge, sharp features are framed by the scruff of a dark beard, and an intriguing mix of tattoos, brands and scars play across the planes and curves of his body.

Although his muscles aren’t as chiseled as many of the demons you've observed in this facility his shoulders and arms are thick, and you unconsciously lick your lips as your eyes follow the dark hair that covers his broad chest and abdomen down to where it meets the wiry hair at the base of his cock.

A slick warmth has been slowly pooling between your thighs since you settled into your chair at the beginning of the shift, but as you watch the bored pumping of his hips fall into a smoother, swaying rhythm, that warmth ignites.

Widening his stance, hooved feet brace on the floor as he pulls out further before thrusting back in, letting you watch his cock slide slowly back into the machine’s opening, burying himself with a jutting roll of his hips, over and over. Almost teasing. 

Almost taunting.

This could be you.

It’s only when Klaw drags his hands along the metal “body” of the mare that you notice it: The claws of the first three fingers of his right hand seem to be…gone? 

With a flicker of concern you flip a switch on the console, using the camera to zoom in. 

Ok, no, they’re not gone per se, but they’re definitely shorter, nearly down to the quick. Was it an accident? Did they break in a fervor as he fucked the contraption? 

Frowning at the screen your mind turns over the possibilities, but before you can think to add the peculiarity to your notes your thoughts fizzle away when you glance back up to the observation window and see that he’s watching you.

As soon as your eyes meet his the tease in his movements falls away and he’s bottoming out hard against the opening in a rough, stuttered rhythm as his eyes cloud over, and you know from past observation that he’s nearing the edge.

Your inner muscles clench and the ache that’s been building since you walked in here swells and overlaps with a flaring jealousy when Klaw shudders and growls, filling the receptacle with another thick load of his seed.

You don’t even realize that you stood up until you feel the cool glass of the observation window beneath your palms, your breath fogging the surface as you press yourself against the barrier.

There’s still a slow, uneven cadence to the demon’s thrusts following his climax, but his gaze swiftly sharpens on you again when one of your hands drifts idly across your stomach, then lower, fingers brushing over the top button of your pants-

-and then you jump when a shrill sound interrupts you, nearly growling at the surge of frustration.

The alarm is piercing and incessant and won’t stop until you enter the demon’s room, so you return to the control panel to activate the sigil that will keep him contained while you clean and recalibrate the machine - tests having shown that a laser projection of the correct wavelength of light is just as effective as a physical binding.

Once you’re through the airlock you quickly set to working through the checklist, unhooking the mechanism that feeds into tanks in the floor and connecting it to a fresh one. You move on to cleaning the unfeeling hole that the demon fucks into day in and day out, your breath going shallow at the jealousy that continues to singe your nerves. 

His gaze stays entirely focused on you as you move around, cock swaying heavily in front of  broad thighs - still hard, always hard - the still leaking head so dark it’s nearly purple. 

The slick between your thighs has only increased since you started to work, fairly certain that you’ve soaked through your panties at this point, and when you have to pass closer to his “cage” he leans forward, nearly pressing himself against the barrier as he follows your path.

Inhaling deeply his cock twitches, more cum dripping from the tip as he ruts at the air, and you can't help but wonder if he’s picking up your frustrated arousal.

“Hurry up.” you chide yourself. “Stop getting distracted. Just finish your shit and get out.”

Kneeling down behind the machine you open the access panel and flip through the menus until you find the one that will complete the calibration, and while you’re focused on watching it cycle you don’t notice the outer door open from the hall into the observation room. 

The intern who enters must not see you where you’re kneeling on the floor, and evidently thinking that the trap has been left on in error he flips the switch to deactivate it.

When the light from the beaming sigil goes dark you pop up in alarm, the face of the intern frozen in an almost comedic grimace of horror when he finally registers that you’re staring back at him from the wrong side of the glass. 

The man reaches for the switch again but Klaw’s reflexes are faster, and before the trap can be reactivated the demon rushes the door. Slamming his shoulder against it he jams it so thoroughly they'll need to bring in special equipment to get it open again, but at this time of night it'll be hours, if you’re lucky, before a crew gets here.

Then he rounds on you.

With an oddly warm sense of detachment you think that you should feel fear as you watch the slow grin spread across his face, but the only thing you feel is a surge of hot, aching desire. 

He rumbles something you don’t understand, though the rough texture of his words is still intoxicating, and before you realize what you’re doing you’re walking towards him, pulling your shirt over your head as you move. 

Because right now you find that you want - need - to bare yourself for him, the sensation of it intense that your skin feels like it’s going to scald if you don’t get your clothes off now, and your shoes, pants and underwear quickly join the discarded pile on the floor.

Stopping in front of him you reach back to unclasp your bra, but your arms pause mid-way when Klaw’s hand reaches out, your breath hitching when he hooks a large, clawed finger beneath your chin, tilting your head up so that your eyes meet his.

You’d always assumed that his eyes were black, but this close you realize that they’re actually an impossibly deep blue, a blue that only resides along the penumbra of light and shadow where the last rays of sun reach into the depths of the ocean

You stand mesmerized as his hand dips lower, leaving behind a trail of gooseflesh as a claw trails gently down the delicate skin of your neck and chest, and then with a flick of his wrist the last scrap of fabric covering you gives way, exposing your breasts to the cool air.  

You’ve barely shrugged off the ruined garment when suddenly you’re being picked up - so, so easily - and placed on a table, swiftly reminded of how much larger and stronger he is than you, and once again dimly aware that you should feel fear, or dread, or some instinct telling you to run.

Not of the shiver of anticipation that leaves your breath hitching in your chest. 

Definitely not the wild need blooming in your core as sharp teeth ghost along the place where your blood thrums, his breath hot and his skin hotter.

His mouth continues its path downward, pausing to lick at the soft swell of your breasts, taking a moment to pull and pluck at your nipples with his lips. A pleased growl vibrates against your skin when you lean back onto your hands with a moan, arching into the swirl of his tongue around your pebbled flesh. 

It’s not long, though, before he can no longer ignore the way this increases the heated musk between your thighs, leaving behind a wet trail of saliva as his mouth travels down, seeking the place where you’re already dripping for him.

The demon's hands nearly wrap entirely around your thighs yet his touch is almost cautious as he presses you open, mesmerized by the way you unfold for him like the petals of a flower, slick and shining.

HIs eyes are heavy lidded as thick fingers begin to tease through your folds, toying with your clit, surprising you with how softly he rolls it between thumb and forefinger, a grin curving the corner of his mouth when your hips buck into his touch.

Noting your reaction he repeats the motion, gently pinching and rolling the sensitive bud until your mouth drops open and your breath is coming in sharp gasps, his dark eyes staying fixed between your legs as thick fingers coax a warm, honeyed orgasm from you, leaving you keening and startled by the slow intensity of it.

You’ve barely caught your breath when you feel his mouth suddenly envelop your mound, lapping eagerly at your release as you whine and writhe beneath his tongue, overwhelmed at the stimulation.

It’s too much, all of this is too much, but as he continues licking and suckling at your sensitive flesh you find that you’re no longer fighting it, the hum of bliss that hadn’t yet faded already building to a fresh swell, and when his lips capture your clit with a sudden fluttering pressure your body stiffens as your second orgasm flares through you, sharper and brighter than the first. 

When he finally releases you he speaks again, but through the haze of afterglow it takes a moment for it to register that this time you think that you understand him, the word seeming to appear within your mind at the same time that you hear it from his glistening lips.

“Sweet.” 

With a start you look down at him and he pauses, head tilting, curiosity knitting his heavy brows. 

Not moving his eyes from yours, his voice is a low, tentative purr when he speaks again.

“Would your sweet cunt like..more?”

Holy fuck. You can understand him.

Your thoughts spin as the shock works its way through you, the analytical part of your mind attempting to parse what the fuck is happening. Is it the increased time in his proximity? The physical contact? Whatever the mechanism, you can suddenly hear- or perhaps more accurately feel - his words, somewhere deep in your conscience.

A firm nod, then, in answer to his question, a responding pull of his lips into a slow, pleased grin.

Dipping his head Klaw licks a broad, wet stripe up your cleft, and then he’s devouring you, slavering hungrily against your sex, drool mixing with your arousal as his lips and tongue work your aching bundle of nerves until you’re gasping shallow breaths, every muscle strung taught as you hover on the edge once more.

Seeking for an anchor your hands find his curved horns, warm and leathery beneath your scrabbling fingers, and then with a rasping cry you’re coming in long, surging waves, your entire body trembling as your hips chase every flutter of pleasure on the tip of his tongue. 

Dimly you think that he must be satisfied now, that you must be satisfied, yet it seems as though with every climax you only hunger more intensely for the next. 

Once your hands release his horns and fall limp at your sides Klaw straightens up, and then wrapping his hand around his cock he starts roughly stroking himself. 

Almost without thinking your legs fall open, shaky arms pulling your knees back to expose yourself to him, knowing he can see how your soaked cunt still clenches through the last waves of your orgasm, and it’s only a few more strokes before he’s coming with a rough jerk of his hips and you gasp at the heat, thick ropes of cum streaking across your slick folds and the insides of your thighs.  

Still breathing hard, the pumping of his fist gradually slows, a hand drifting along the curve of your inner thigh as his focus comes back to you. Gathering some of the sticky mess he left between your legs he drags it through your folds, and then suddenly a thick finger is sliding into you.

Even as you gasp at the intrusion you begin to understand that he had actually done it on purpose: Biting down those claws himself because, it seems, he had been thinking about this.

The realization that it was for you leaves your entire body humming, and as your hips cant up to meet the slow, almost teasing thrusts, there’s only one word that swells and ripens in your mind, uncertain whether it’s your word or his even as it falls from your lips.

“More.”

A knowing glint flashes in his eyes at your soft plea, and almost immediately you feel a second finger slipping against you. Just teasing his fingertips at your entrance at first he lets your juices slick them before pressing into you, both fingers together nearly as thick as a human cock.

You moan as he continues to slide them in and out of you, and just as you begin to sink into the ache of it, you moan low in your throat when suddenly he’s adding a third.

The heady pressure of him working three fingers into your already stretched hole is overwhelming, and you’re unsure whether you want to throw yourself towards the sensation or resist it, your body arching into him, yet tensing and pulling away at the same time.

But then he’s pressing you down onto the table, his hand nearly spanning the width of your chest to hold you in place as his fingers continue nudging deeper.

“Where are you going, little one? Going to have to take it if you want my cock." 

As if to emphasize his words he drags his erection against the inside of your thigh with a grunted sigh, a fresh streak of precum adding to the mess that he’s already left on you.

Because of course you do, and he knows it, has known it since you stopped being able to look away from his hunched form as he fucked into his mechanical mate, a warm curiosity growing into a distracting need.

And you know that he could have taken you at any time, could have forced himself into you as soon as your clothes were a forgotten pile on the floor. But instead, he’s been preparing you to take him properly, making you come until the only thing you know is his mouth and his fingers and you’re soft and trembling and ravenous.

“God yes.” You spread your legs wide again, giving him an obscene view of where his fingers are sinking into you, slick sounds filling the room as they pump faster now.

“There you go.” He croons above you. “Made for this, hmm?" 

Any attempt at a response trails into a choked cry when he finds that soft, needy spot deep inside you, a fresh, pulsing heat spreading through your already exhausted body as he takes you apart once more. Still pinned beneath his hand you’re unable to do anything but allow it to wash through you, shaking and whimpering as he continues to drag firm, curling strokes against your clenching walls.

Leaning down Klaw presses his face into your heaving chest, and your nipples tighten and ache as he licks languorously between your breasts, his huffed breath is hot against your skin.

As your senses filter back in your hands slowly begin to move, exploring the corded muscles of his neck and shoulders, trembling fingers tugging and sliding through his hair, and then up and over his horns again.

Letting your eyes slip closed you take in the ridged curve of them, a velvety pleasure blooming in your chest when he inhales sharply, cock throbbing against your thigh when your fingers wrap around the base of them.

Finally pulling his fingers out of you he tugs you up, turning around and repositioning you so that you’re straddling his broad hips as best you can. Strong hands support you, encouraging you to slide your slick folds along his shaft, a giddy sort of panic stuttering in your chest at the sudden awareness of the size of him where he twitches between your thighs.

Desperate whines that may as well be prayers slide from your throat when he lifts you higher and you feel the thick, bulbous head of his cock nudging against your entrance, the only words falling from your lips a whispered litany of “Oh my god oh my god oh my god."

“I’m not your God, little one,” he growls softly, words distorted as if you're hearing them through a sediment of granite and blood. "But you will worship me."

“Yes. Yes..Oh fuck, please.” 

Beneath your lilting plea you dimly hear gritted curses and words of encouragement as you circle your hips, your arousal making a slick mess of his cock.

You can't help how eagerly your hips rock down, seeking more, so lost in the sensations that you're unprepared when a hard press of your hips matches his upward thrust, and the thick head of his cock suddenly ruts up into you, and when he slips past the tight ring of muscle the feral sound from deep in your chest nearly matches his.

Panting open mouthed you hold him there before rising up, slowly, slowly, letting him slip out of you before sinking down to take him back in. You feel weightless beneath the obsidian glint in his eyes as he watches you repeat the motion again, and again, his arms helping you move as you start to shake from the effort of riding just the head of his cock.

Even now there’s something warm and urgent drawing your hand lower, and you’re unable to help feeling pleased when his eyes go heavy as his gaze follows your fingers down to where they press against your clit.

“So..needy.” he rumbles. “Better than I imagined.”

“You..imagined?” You pant, attempting to sound coy, but your words are thick with lust as you continue to roll your hips, forcing yourself down further down his length. 

Your movements are becoming less controlled now, and when your fingers slip and brush against his shaft you whimper at how fucking big he feels where he's stretching you open, and how much of him is still outside of you.

You can feel every slick ridge and vein beneath your hand, and as you slide it along his length the muscles of his thighs tense and flex beneath you, his breathing going rough as your messy strokes continue.

“Look at you taking my cock,” Klaw grits, the demon’s hips beginning to stutter up in short, sharp thrusts. “Such a good little pet.” 

His words trail into a low growl that vibrates through your body as you feel a hard throb beneath your hand, and then heat.

You gasp, continuing to writhe as he spills into you, coating your inner walls with his thick seed, and almost you feel as though you could come again just from the heat of it.

Fuck, you need more of that.

Need it deeper.

Even as the pulsing beneath your fingers slows he doesn't stop moving, finally coming inside of you seeming only to have tipped his need to fevered desire. Holding you in place he thrusts up harder, dislodging your hand, and you can feel his spend leaking out of you, dripping down the insides of your thighs and slicking his still hard cock as he continues to drive deeper, no longer letting you set the pace. 

“This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” He taunts, voice still a rough half-whisper after his orgasm. “Could feel it when you watched me. Wanted me to fill your little cunt, hmm?”

“Yes.” You let out a growled sob, jealous anger surging through you. ”That..thing, doesn’t fucking deserve it.”

A flame crackles in Klaw’s eyes at your heated words, and you wonder with a jolt of awareness whether he hasn’t been just as desperate for this as you have, longing for you as he remained trapped in the torment of a cold, unfeeling machine. Driven purely by instinct, chasing his release over and over again but never being truly satisfied.

The sudden realization that you could give that to him floods you with almost as much pleasure as the agony of being filled with his cock.

You’ve barely processed the thought when you suddenly find yourself with your back once again pressed against the cool metal of the table, Klaw only pulling out of you briefly before thrusting back in, harder.

He continues a slow, controlled rhythm, both of you panting hard as you feel yourself softening around him, becoming more pliant as your body relents to every stroke until with a final arching rock of his hips your cunt is completely stretched and full, everything so impossibly tight that you can’t even clench around him.

He's never felt anything quite like you, the achingly tight grip of your pussy leaving him nearly breathless as he holds himself as deep as he can, huffing and grunting like a bull while he watches you writhe and spasm beneath him.

Then he starts to fuck you.

He tries to keep his strokes firm and measured at first, but he can’t hold back anymore and it's not long before his chest is heaving, lips curled in a snarl, and it feels as though you're being split open as he pulls you back onto his cock in time to meet every thrust. 

A scarlet thread runs through every cell of your soft animal body, stringing tighter and tighter as pleasure builds to the edge of breaking but then surging higher, a fresh ecstasy building on every peak. 

The tightening grip around your waist signals the absolute loss of his control and when you hiss at the sudden piercing bite of his claws he moves his hands to brace on the table instead, his broad body forcing your legs back towards your shoulders as he leans down over you, driving his cock as deep as he can get into your willing heat until he’s grunting and drooling above you. 

A divine bliss slides through your veins as you lie beneath him, caught between the trammel of his arms, and as you watch his base instinct take over you begin to understand that only fools could believe that lust is a sin. 

And even if it was, even if you were offered perfect grace in this moment, you know with absolute certainty that you would refuse.

An infernal dam is finally swelling to breaking as you surrender to every relentless thrust of his cock, your wailed sobs the only sounds you can make as an impossible pressure ripples through your core, and with a deep throb you suddenly feel a drenching heat as your release washes over his cock and your thighs. 

“There you go.” Klaw growls. “Make a mess for me, little one.” 

This seems to be his final undoing, and as you continue to soak his cock his thrusting goes ragged until with rough groan he’s coming deep inside you, stilling himself to keep the head of his cock pressed against the deepest part of you, making sure that you feel every hot, throbbing pulse of his cum as it fills you.

Keeping himself seated deep he rocks slow grinding thrusts into the slippery mess he’s made of his you, the lust that’s had no real outlet finally finding satisfaction in the way your clenching cunt is milking his cock, in the gentle swell of your belly as he pumps you full of his seed.

You’re a sweaty, twitching mess beneath him, and as much as you wish you could you’re unable to take all of it, can’t help how it spills out around his cock where you’re stretched and sore, how his cum and yours drips down your swollen sex to pool beneath you on the table.

His hands don't stop moving over your body, cupping your breasts, grasping at you hips, sliding over the ripe swell of you where he can feel you filled with his cock and his cum. Vaguely aware of soft grunts mixed with mumbled praise, you don’t register what he’s saying at first through the haze of euphoria.

“Going to be mine.” he rumbles, between languorous strokes. ”My little queen.” 

“Mine.”

* * * * * * *

The room is warm and flickering, silken sheets decadent beneath your fingers, your body thrumming with a heated anticipation that never seems to fade, now.

Rough hands lift your hips as your demon mounts you from behind, a hand placed firmly between your shoulder blades, pressing you down into the mattress.

A panting whine slides from your throat as he spreads you open, the thick head of his cock prodding your entrance, pleased to see you’re still dripping with his seed from the last time he filled you. And he doesn’t like leaving you empty for very long.

“Say it again, little one.” Klaw growls softly, holding himself still. Waiting.

“Yours.” 

You sigh, a smile curling around the word as he pushes into you.

“I’m yours.”

A/N: As ever, thank you for reading! This was definitely a bit outside my comfort zone, but I hope you enjoyed this filthy little foray into monster fuckery. 😊

[stellewriites]

https://www.tumblr.com/stellewriites/765393221177196544/httpswwwtumblrcomstellewriites76537667751582?source=share — thanks for offering to tell me! it’s not so much that i can’t read it, rather i’m just mentally preparing since i love the fic so much already. only question now is on how violent is it gonna be 😬 (the noncon), if you’ve thought that far ahead. by that i mean are we talking physically forced through harm etc or like being coerced emotionally/or verbally. can’t wait for any other future work xx.

hi again anon!!

i literally just finished this scene so i’m gonna describe it under the cut for spoiler reasons but i’m not gonna go into graphic detail - more black and white plain language so you can decide what you wanna do 🫂

again just let me know if you want the lines before and after the scene - it’s not detrimental to the plot so you can skip it easily xx

it starts closer to physical harm. reader is slightly injured/dazed and has her upper body held still by johnny while kyle has sex with her. though they don’t threaten to harm her, johnny was the one to make her dazed and they don’t give her much room to move. she says no and stop - this is used when kyle first steps behind her and then when he moves it along a little too quickly (encouraged by johnny) and she’s worried about not enough prep.

there’s a single use of ‘slut’ by johnny. they both are convinced (or pretending, up to readers’ interpretation) that she’s into it and only hesitant because of her husband/being married.

towards the end it dips into dubcon with reader pushing back into kyle and she has a brief thought when kyle cums inside her about how maybe now she’ll get the baby she’s always wanted.

they take her to their room and when she’s passing out (adrenaline, head injury, a generally exhausting day before allll of this too) johnny plays with the cum leaking out and rubs his cock through it. not explicitly stated but inferred that he has sex with her when she’s asleep.

i’ll also note that in regards to reader’s pov i don’t get descriptive with how she feels - if you’re concerned it might be quite graphic in describing her panic or stress or internal thoughts as it happens, i don’t go into that. it’s smth i find difficult to read and write myself. at most it goes more into her hiding the reluctant pleasure she feels as it happens, e.g. hiding her face in johnnys leg to muffle any sounds.

hope this has helped any!! if you’ve got any more questions anon please please feel free to send them in and ask, i’m happy to explain anything else in more detail or less if this was too much or whatever you need for an easier read :D

[theworldibuilt4you]

[Addie broke out into a huge grin, and felt their own face warming. They... Didn't even realize he had previously put in the effort to try...!]

N-no! I… Like that you can see me. I mean, I get to see you all the time, so now we're even!

[They crossed their arms and stuck their tongue out playfully at Casey's offhand comment.]

Nyeeeeeh! That's me sticking my tongue out at you, Case-Case…!

-Addie

[Casey rolled their eyes, but there was a dull smile on their face. It was clear that they're just playing... they're much more relaxed than they had seemed before as well. Something about not having to do anything dangerous anymore just sort of puts you at ease.]

"Sooo... what's the goal now..? I mean we got that admin whatever away from Kinito, but what now..?"

[Sonny puts a hand to his chin, tapping his heel against the digital grass of their home.]

"I've already got a lot of stuff starting in the background... I'm starting with little things. Kinito hasn't updated anything in a... long... long time.. So all the drivers on the main server computer are years out of date."

[He gestures a hand out at nothing. Something only he could see, perhaps.]

"Once the graphics and display drivers are up to date, plus a hard drive cleanup, everyone should start to see a huge difference in performance. I wanted to make sure the graphics card started first, as all of our models depend on it. You'll feel a bit more energetic eventually, which will help you last longer without your constant naps, Casey."

[Now it was their time to glance away sheepishly]

"I... I thought it was just laziness on my part, dude.."

"Not at all..! Sluggishness and fatigue is bound to be a side effect of poor disk maintenance... Once everything minor like that is up and going, I'll have to see what I can do about world corruption... I may need to create a new instance if I can't find the source. Corrupted world data can be a pickle to work out, and..-"

[He took a glance back towards

Addie.... what a rambler he was being.]

"...Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. Apologies.."

[a-real-cupcake]

An explanation to my Discord profile picture.

Alright, so my Discord profile picture has been pretty much the exact same ever since I got Discord way back in 2017. When I do change it, it's to a recolor of the same picture. So, what is my profile picture?

It's this. A screencap of an anime called Kaiba. I wont do an explanation of what the anime is about, but basically it's my favorite anime so I just started using it as my pfp on Discord and it's basically just kind of become my thing. I would like to just to just double mention that the original screen cap is not drawn by me, it is from the anime Kaiba directed and created by Masaaki Yuasa so please go give it a watch.

The oldest edit I have still on my computer is this one here where I basically tried making a "retrowave" type pfp. At the time I never really liked it, and looking back on it I really don't like it because I've gotten a lot better at making these things.

That said, I did add to that specific picture right after this and removed the background to replace it with the original Kaiba background which does look better.

I tried making a Pride pfp not long after and it turned out pretty bad.

My very first Christmas pfp in 2018 was...well it was not good if I'm being honest.

My first official recolor that I have wasn't until 2020. That's when I decided to recreate the outline of the original drawing so I could do my own thing. The colors I used for this come from Kamina from the anime Gurren Lagann.

The next one I did after Kamina was Stocking Anarchy, a character from Panty & Stocking, another one of my favorite anime.

Next up is Halloween of 2020. This would be the first Halloween pfp I have saved, and probably ever made. It is just a jack-o-lantern. The concept of it I think is pretty clever, but the actual execution just didn't work. Maybe I can do it again another year and make it better.

And after Halloween comes Christmas, this being the second Christmas pfp I have means it has to be better....right? I had a whole year to get better. You can decide that.

This next one isn't one I did, it's actually one a friend of mine did for me. It's just the normal Kaiba picture, but they made him a cat boy! I actually do come back to this one from time to time.

Ok so shockingly, for 2021 I didn't really have any new pfps, at least none that I saved, so we're jumping right into Halloween 2021. It's Dracula and I actually really like this one. This I think is when I think I can see a change in myself getting better at making these, and graphic design as a whole.

Christmas 2021 was also really good, it's a gingerbread man! Has texture and everything. Also one of my favorites I've done.

I eventually decided to upscale the original Kaiba picture, remove the background, and leave just the outline and was left with this.

I was then able to do cool things like this Nonbinary Kaiba. I did this when me and a bunch of friends in a server were doing similar pfp.

One that I really love is this "real" Kaiba that I made. I usually use Paint.net to make all my stuff be that YouTube thumbnails or these profile pictures, but I decided to try out Gimp just for this one specific pfp to get the warp tool and I think it worked out.

I'm not going to show all of my pictures, but I do want to leave it off with this years Halloween pfp. It's Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

With that being said I'm going to go ahead and leave a screenshot of the folder that hold all of my Kaiba pictures just so you can see the rest of them that I didn't show here. It's funny how this little joke of a profile picture has unintentionally been helping me better myself at graphic design.

[nardonotes]

11 oct '24

10:15pm

HOUUUUGGGHHHHHHWWEEEEW WWAAAAGHHHH I AM SO OVERWORKED!!!! FOR NO FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SLAVERY!!!!!!!!!!! ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

i didn't get to write an entry because i was so goddamn busy the past few days. let's RECAP! : ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡

wednesday: i had so much work to do and ended up just knocking tf out,, like i don't even remember what i did then?? what did i even do... just college work and so much soooo much catching up to do.

thursday: after college,, i went to park with my sister, her bf, and her two friends (one with a baby and one's bday was coming up) so we celebrated a little bit there,, but it was cold as fuck so we were in my sisters bf's car eating snacks and talking! it was fun but i was really really tired.. and then we watched episode 2 of dandadan ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و,, it was so good man fr!! i need to catch up on the manga. but after that man i was too fucking tired to do shit. which is weird because i been so restless?? (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ) ‧º

FRIDAY!!! TODAY!!!!!!: i had my first day of my new placement,, long story short,,, the printing business got back to me and i am now doing my work experience there instead of my mum's place BUT I AM still going to make their website because i feel bad also,,, they're very nice and it's good for my portfolio. anyways,, i was on my feet ALL DAY. (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) doing WAREHOUSE WORK. LORD SAVE ME IF I HAVE TO DO WAREHOUSE WORK ALL FUCKIN DAY EVERY WEEK!!!!!!!!! but it's ok. they're super sweet and said eventually- ill end up meeting the actual graphic designers at the company and that's rlly all i want. ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ when i got home,, my sister was babysitting her friends baby and i helped out a bit bc he's so sweet and so big now and he said my name!!! and we made videos w him,,, he's so cute..... i will miss him a lot when he moves. when he left, i facetimed my good friend who lives in bulgaria! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) she's so funny fr,, we caught up a bit and then i went to shower!!!!!!!!

i am really fucking tired. i think being this drained has distracted the seasonal depression that i feel at the back of my head. i don't even have time to do my regular hobbies anymore and it sucks but also good for me because i really am locking in and im happy !! (sorta kinda) more like im really proud of myself for pushing through and getting shit done.

ALSO! i got invited to my friends birthday party next week and im excited cause i can see them and the ppl i did the little project with! :)) they're chill and cool asl and they're also funny,,, i love funny people!!! and and and and and,,,, im going to an opening day for big boy college next week, the day before the party, and im going to apply on november. JUST IN CASE! i can always defer it. but i just want to be ahead and think of my career. phew.... that was a typeful...... (｡>﹏<)

im going to catch up on my chicas and relax now,, had a long day.

goodnight!!!~ <33

song of the day: Panavision by Roy Blair !! (king is back)

[thetextiwriteiwrote]

False Obits and Overdramaticism

Go ahead? Put anything? Literally? On God? Just like that?

I suppose it's trying to probe my brain for thoughts, which is fair, but I'll divulge them at my own pace, thank you, graphics-interface. I don't need the suggestion to talk about how I'm feeling. If that cauldron happens to be boiling or broiling anywhere near the surface, you'll be the first to know.

I have a funny grip on my hearing that tells me I might very well have a day like that tomorrow, but I'll be in love with the feeling, because I'll be back at work. I'll be able to flex these new people-skrillz that I've picked up in recent days.

There'll be those that I can't help, but I'll try with everyone. I need to try with people or else they might never bother to try with me, and I'm worth trying with-- I'm worth trying out-- and I'm worth taking home. This, I have to prove to myself by proving it to society for a while.

Then, the gym-etiquette will come back to me, and I'll be cycling again like my heart depends on it, and it does. Love or no love, cycling puts distance between me and my emotions as I'm currently feeling them, so that I might be able to process them.

It's all running, at the end of the day. Spiritual and physical cardio, we do these things to clear our heads. We watch TV, we play games, we bob our heads to music and pretend to know what it all means.

But none of us know, we're all learning together, gradually, slowly, gently. It's a process, believe me. As someone who is fighting tooth and nail to be and feel better and better each day, it doesn't get easier, but it shouldn't have to get easier.

It should get harder. That's how leveling up works.

If you're constantly boxing at your skill-level, you'll never get better. Metaphors. I have too much energy to slow down, take my time, and write a periodic draft of this, which is why you're getting the manic ramblings of someone freshly-medicated and freshly-reunited with his family, job, and support-structure. I got my job back! It's all thanks to these little circular white tabs that give me a fighting chance against my psychosis.

One tablet, every night, at 9PM, right before bed.

I'll stay creative. I'll stay content. I'll stay healthy.

[chilopodacrudus]

Who do you Want to Be? Chapter 10: We'll Make Great Pets

CW: Graphic depictions of violence; cannibalism, cults, (extremely NON romanticized) physical and verbal abuse, major character death, death, blood and torture.

Piers followed Johnny down the winding staircase down to the basement; forced to listen to Johnny’s cheerful whistling the whole time. His mind was on fire; he had no idea what to expect but he knew he wasn’t going to like it. When they reached the bottom of the stairs; his eye ticked at the sight before him.

The floor was finished in smooth concrete; a surgical table in the corner making way to shadows so dark he couldn’t see what awaited beyond that. The most worrying thing to him however; were the jail bars they had just walked through. They extended the parameter of the giant space. Tables were set up; Piers noted a bed in the corner, a small bathroom off to the side. He got the picture now and he was none too pleased.

Johnny: He spoke suddenly in his normal loud; raspy tone. “I hate people like you Piers.” Piers: This just made him laugh. “I’m not too thrilled about you either.” Johnny: He held his hand up as if to tell him to be quiet but a cruel grin crawled along his lips. “I don’t think you understand; I hate people like YOU that think they’re better than ME. You come in here and act like you have ‘morals’; Piers...come on your morals are no better than mine they’re just different not better. I have preferences too you know; I’ve done good, I’ve felt good about myself doing good even. You think ‘saving’ Allison and...man...even CASEY will absolve you from whatever bullshit you’ve got yourself into over the years and you’re living a lie my man. LIVING A LIE. You’re no better than me. We don’t like it here when our interests are put under judgment; you want to fit in...you need to get a little more loose.” Piers: He gave a bitter smile then laughed and couldn’t stop. “You think I see myself as BETTER? You...you don’t know me. You have no idea what’s going on in my head you don’t know what I’ve done. You even get queasy looking at the bodies of the people you EAT you don’t get in my face and act like you know me.” He lurched forward and pointed his finger in Johnny’s face much to Johnny’s amusement. “I like Allison…” He purred; rolling that sweet taste of her name on his tongue. “I like Casey too.” His voice darkened. “You think I have any faith in my mind that I wouldn’t have bled them out in any other situation? I don’t like how you WORK...Johnny...kindness…” He hissed. “Is very important to me. You don’t take a life cruelly...tenderness…” His mind reeled thinking of Allison; of Aster and the ones that came before. “You orchestrate their perfect final moments Johnny...you free them from a life of suffering. That’s what this is about for me…” He placed his hands on Johnny’s shoulders and gripped them firmly. “I’m not a ‘Good Dog’...Johnny...but I do have limits...and now...I want to know for sure...will you hold up your side of the bargain? Can I...TRUST...you with that?” Johnny: For a brief second in Johnny’s mind he felt fear but he was impressed by the display of his new dog in front of him. Speaking softly he patted his hand along Piers’ cheek. “Man...you really are crazy.” Piers: He laughed with his eyes wide jaw clenched shut he had no words now. Johnny: “Yes; you can trust me...to keep my word on our bargain Piers. You can trust me...I don’t think I can trust YOU...but you can trust me...now…” He looked off to the side and spoke a bit louder. “Go ahead.” In a second two large men in surgeons outfits seized Piers from the shadows; Piers fought wildly, when his hands were held down he used his mouth, gnashing into one of the man’s upper arms and tearing into him like a beast until they managed to inject him with a knockout drug. It wasn’t quick but quick enough; Piers thrashed and roared out at Johnny calling him every name in the book and then some before his body finally went limp and darkness was all he knew.

Piers: His mind stirred a few times and then fell silent; pain. He felt a vague sense of sharp terrible pain in his mouth? In his...jaw...his face...everything. He couldn’t pinpoint it. He felt his mouth seized open as Johnny’s surgeons sharpened all of his teeth to match his abnormal canines. Johnny wanted a good dog a good attack dog. More pain; sharper this time and more violent as his mouth was forced shut. His teeth vibrating from the work that had just been forced upon them. What was happening now? He felt the sensation of metal against his chin...against his upper mouth? His face hurt; screws were tightened. Numbness; he didn’t feel the presence of the men for awhile but suddenly, with the press of a button by Johnny, the turning and snap of a latch and he could no longer open his mouth.

He had been fitted with something truly ghoulish; an articulated metal muzzle, bolted into his skull and firmly fastened. The outside was intricate; ‘lovingly’ crafted with interlocking razor sharp fangs that fit over his mouth. Johnny really knew how to treat his pets to luxury and he was Very excited to pamper Piers.

Piers: He was waking up; the muscles in his jaw flexed as he tried to speak but to no avail. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t open his mouth wide enough to talk, at least not much. He muttered. “What…?” But the words were hushed; silenced by the metal work strapped to his face. His eyes snapped open darting across the room. He jerked his arms and found he was restrained quite firmly to the operating table. He snarled which Johnny; who was standing right beside of him, found VERY Cute. Johnny: “Aww now THAT’S a dog! Look at you Piers…” He coo’d down at the hate filled groggy man. Admiring the artistry of the work in front of him. He traced his fingers along Piers’ cheek; down the cold steel of the muzzle and under his chin. Piers wanted to throw up but he was barely even aware right now. “I gave you a gift; something to help that appetite of yours Piers. And something to keep that appetite focused OFF...of me. You must really be hungry friend and I’ve got something real Fun planned for you but for now…I’ll let you rest. I’m a good owner Piers and I know when my pet’s been too stimulated.” He patted his head and smirked. The men came back into view; pulling Piers off of the table and helping him stand. Which he was desperately trying to do; vertigo hit him with a wave of pain and he lurched forward stabilizing himself on a metal pole.

Johnny: “OH...someone wanted to see you...Allison.” He called her name dryly like it was too much effort to even acknowledge her. “I’ll let her stay down here tonight; I feel you’re in a…” He ticked his eyes to Piers. “Good enough mood to have company over. You two have fun.” Johnny wanted him to snap; Johnny wanted him to kill Allison, Johnny wanted to watch but he knew teasing Piers into that perfect mindset would take time, though he was patient enough when he wanted to be. He made his way up the staircase as the men took their leave as well. When Allison came into view. Allison: She had been crying; likely having been filled in with what Johnny had planned to do with Piers, what he had planned to do with her only way out. Her heart sank; seeing him like this. Standing dazed and bleeding from the fresh implant on his face. She looked at the mask that was forced on him; he really looked the part of a killer now but she tried not to think that, not about the man that had just helped her so greatly. “What did he do to you…” Piers: He had time to think but thoughts wouldn’t come; he saw Allison in front of him and he tried to smile. It hurt; everything hurt but he was gaining his awareness. Listening to her words he tapped the mask; slowly moving his balance away from the pole he was resting on, he showed her with his hands that he can’t open his mouth, a sickening laugh escaped his lips and he walked closer to her, or rather stumbled. He was starving; he couldn’t eat, not yet but all he could think of was food and the sweetness of Allison’s scent. The latch inside of him was red hot but he couldn’t open his mouth; he’s glad he couldn’t, not now not now...you can’t right now.

Allison: She wanted to back up seeing him walk closer but she chose to stand still; she got the picture that he couldn’t speak, so she chose to sign. “(Can you sign to me instead?)” Piers: Dizzy he read her voice and rolled his eyes back trying to snap his mind back into place. He knew what the words meant; he hesitated. Language; what even is language but he managed to respond shakily. “(I can try.)” He flared his nostrils and snuffed feeling lightheaded but he chose to give Allison space. He had no idea what was attached to him but he had a feeling it didn’t look very welcoming.

Allison exhaled; at least he’s still somewhat stable, at least he can still speak. She walked to him and wrapped her arms around him; burying her face into his bloodied shirt. She felt like she was at fault here but she was mourning her last chance as well. Breathing in deeply as Piers held his arms around her in turn; resting his tired chin along the top of her head. For once in his life Piers had no plan; he had to play it by ear from here but he could already taste the death that was approaching him from all sides and the latch inside of him grew weaker with every pump of his heart.

[itgetsbetteroneday]

This whole time, I thought I was the shepherd, so why do you call me your little lamb?

All of my life, it has rained fire, but you keep me sheltered, I don’t understand

I never got why no one ever tried

So why does your love make me terrified?

When I have a bad day, you push work away,

Say I don’t have to do a thing

But love costs a leg and an arm

But love, they say, is hard

But love, I know, it takes a lot of effort

Yet when I’m burnt out, you love me better?

Why are you gentle?

Haven’t I learned how to be tough?

Why call me little?

When I’ve been asked to outgrow everyone?

Why do I feel a need to have you by my side?

I have been taught to walk alone all of my life.

And just when I accept that no one will ever show up,

I learned to save myself, and only then, fall in love.

But when they say no one completes you,

I guess that I’d have to laugh.

You have sawed me down, smoothed my edges,

Taken from my whole.

I completed myself by building these walls,

The point is you made me let it go.

When people look for their other half, they’re blind,

When you’re alone, you’re all that you find.

But when you have met the man in the mirror,

Only then, it gets to be time.

I am smaller than the day we met,

Though you have added so much purpose.

And I know that there’s lots we’ve said,

But I’m not sure that you’ve heard this.

When you call me little anything,

It always strikes a nerve.

The tiny hands that grasped a check

With blood from sacrifice and work.

I tend the lands, I work the field,

I’d do all to bring sheep home.

For the first time in my whole life,

There’s a light on when I get home.

Fires burnt fields where shepherds spend their nights,

Leading cross the rivers, before, not beside or behind.

And of all the years of tales of helping people the way you decide,

The ferry, the shepherd, and the king, but the responsibility was always mine.

When I was suffering, I still said to others, there’s hope ahead.

When I was healing, I tried to rope everyone in, but they still reached for death.

When I was finding my footing, I let it all go, you can’t bring everyone, you must accept.

You hope that they follow, to be a role model, but somebody still must lead.

And in trying to find the best way to cross, nobody ever tried for me.

The fire that burnt me should have left me scarred

But your warmth is such a relief

The water that drowned me should cause me fear

But I’m revived being pulled to my knees

The earth that has buried me countless alive

Now flourishes and it grounds me

The air that I spent years trying to give away

Is every breath that I’m grateful to take

And in all of my years of isolation and misery

I have made one mistake

It crafted you, and it crafted me, and it gave us this room for love

How could I find any misery in the same universe and stardust?

Bah, bah, little sheep, rest your little eyes

For you to be grateful, tragedy must strike

The contrast comes so beautifully when you know dark from light

Over the river and voices and the cries,

You’ve gone deaf to what it’s all for, waiting on the other side,

You forget you’re someone too, what about your life?

Little lamb, your time has come, you’ve earned your lullabies

I know you rock me to sleep, rub my back, and play with my hair

Even when I’m far gone in dreamland, disappeared

It’s the beauty of secrets, the unknown and passing time

You keep it from me, no mentioning, like the world with you and I

Did it have us planned since it began? Written in the divine?

Were you waiting for me, somewhere else longing, every night I would cry?

Across the distance, under the same moon, you still sang my lullaby

Not to be graphic, but if something happens, I ask only this of you

On this planet or on the next adventure, sing me a song to the moon

“But love was-“ no, no

Love, I am

Everybody gets it wrong

Only now I understand

Little lambs

[vodka-redbull-daily]

October 30th, 2023

*Graphic Sexual Content*

I spent the evening googling how long your asshole bleeds after anal.  I met up with F---- today and he was very insistent about taking my anal virginity. didn't even really know that was a thing. and also, I wasn't even an anal virgin. it was just too complicated to explain to him that 4 years ago ahead and ex who I tried anal with, but since it's been 4 years ago I really would like him to go gentle with me as if I had never done it before. he brought over vodka and Red Bull  for me and a beer for himself. he came around 1:30 and was quick to let me know that he had to take a business call at 3:00.

we talked for a little bit. he did that thing all these guys do were they pretend like they're actually interested in having a conversation before suddenly going heavy into sexual questions and talk. what do you do for work? oh I've never heard of that before can you explain it to me? so what do you do for fun? what's your favorite position? it always happens like this. I don't know if they're just can't keep a train of thought or if they think that by asking me all the softball questions before I'll be more open to their advances. the money is what makes me open to their advances, not their personality.

I hadn't eaten all day. I know my usual limit for vodka Red Bulls is five. learn that the hard way. it was out when I was with him for his birthday. I was so nervous because  he had invited me to go out with all his fancy friends.  all his rich friends. all his white collar friends. he knew how to Captivate a room, always shining with an incredible confidence. and I was nervous. so I drank.  we are at a bar. it's not like it was a crazy thing to do. but I got five Red Bulls in and had to pull him close to me and Whisper… 

“I'm about to fucking pass out.”

 of course, the fun ended there. we had to go home since I was completely wasted at that point. alcohol sneaks up on me. I'll be three drinks I'm not feeling anything before suddenly the entire world is spinning.

 and F---- keep telling me to drink.

 he was aggressive and pushy, but I think that's just how he is. he really wanted me to try anal. He was convinced that if I was drunk enough, and he put enough Lube, then it would be fine. no thoughts of helping me stretch out or anything. I know from B------ and from trying to Peg T----- that stretching is pretty important.  and I hadn't eaten anything all day and I know how not very much alcohol can do a lot to me. I think I only had like two drinks before  my head was starting to buzz.

 he didn't want to wear a condom. of course he didn't. selfish old man. maybe just selfish man in general.  he asked me if I was on birth control. whenever anybody asks me, I usually say no. that's a lie. It’s the only lie i ever tell. i am. but birth control can fail and I'm highly paranoid. besides, I've been having problems with my birth control for a while now. I skipped the placebos because my period makes me want to kill myself. and make sure of hormones, dysphoria, stress, anxiety,  bleeding through most of my clothes no matter how often I change the tampon, excruciating pains so bad that when I had kidney stones I ignored it for hours thinking they were period cramps. A cocktail of suffering. and even though I haven't been taking the placebos, almost every single brand of birth control I've tried has done nothing to stop them. I'm not entirely sure if that's actually part of the birth control's fault. I don't know if that means it would actually stop pregnancy. but I live in Texas. it's too dangerous to even think about that here. it's dangerous for me to even have birth control.

 so, I told him no. I told him the same way I tell everyone. I've tried it, I really have. it just makes me sooooo sick. the side effects are just too much. I can't handle it. please, for the love of God, where a condom.  he Didn't. he didn't even bring one. I was really thinking about buying something to keep in the Airbnb with me in case some asshole like him did this.  I just ran out of money. it was either a pack of condoms or toothpaste. and he had the audacity to get on to me about sleeping with other people, about the possibility of spreading stds. he said this while his raw dick was inside me, burning my yeast infection.

 right from the beginning, I could tell he was too clingy. he wanted to see me everyday of my vacation. sounds good for the bank, but every second I talk to him I hated him more. he's one of those guys the fancies himself a dom  to the point where they don't give a shit about what you’re experiencing.  they take so much joy out of people being in pain. they don't care if you like it or not. he had me write him for a little bit, constantly giving orders. that's another thing guys like him like to do. give orders. boss people around. I hate being bossed around so much. I like it when B------- does it, but he's nice. he doesn't say it in a mean, Snappy way.

 I rode him for a little bit, honestly not that long. and between riding him, of course you wanted me to suck his dick. that's all men ever want. I get it, it feels good. but it's so fucking boring.  it has been gone for very long at all before he wanted to stick it in my ass. and I was pretty tipsy at this point and I did remember how much I had left anal when I was with t-----. I like anal. I know guys will go wild if I ever told them that. and I wouldn't mind, the problem is I know they'll be rough. I know they'll just shove their whole cock and instead of giving me a chance. he had me kneel in the couch, put my face down flat on the cushion, ass in the air. had me rub my own asshole With Lube as well as basically give up a handjob to lube up his dick.

 then, push my face into the cushion and just stuck it directly in my ass.

 like I said, they don't give a shit about being gentle.

 I tried to squirm away, try to make it very clear that I was in pain. he didn't really care. of course he didn't. he kept telling me to stop moving away.  eventually, after I had gotten used to it, it didn't hurt anymore. but I can't stand it when they just go all the way like that. a 65 year old man should know better.  he fucked me in the ass for a little bit. I don't know how long. it's hard to tell since I was pretty tipsy.  randomly, he pulled out and demanded I take him to the bathroom and wash his cock off. said something about how it's very important that you always wash a cock off after anal before doing anything else with it. I feel like that was obvious, but whatever. that's the most care he showed me this entire time and it's almost 3:00 at this point. I  wash his dick off in the sink like  he said, they need demanded that we go back out to the couch and I suck his dick again.

 because of course.

 Because that's all men can never think of.

 he got a call from his daughter. he was so quick to tell her that he would call her back. he had me  drink even more. he wanted me to finish off the entire class and I really didn't want to. I knew I was already getting to the point where would be too much. I didn't want to vomit like I had a T------'s house. like I had at his house. I honestly wanted to be in control of myself. and I can feel myself starting to spin.

 he took his conference call at 3:00  with me in between his knees. because of course he did. Don't get me wrong, that's kind of hot. but at this point he had already been here for an hour and a half and I wanted him to leave. I didn't like him. I don't want to spend any more time with him. I wanted to go to sleep because I’d  had too much alcohol. he answered the call, wanted me to keep sucking his dick. I did for a little while, but again it's so boring. it was so boring and I was starting to get dizzy. I  Got up to go pee  and tried to just sit on the couch next to him. just worked for a few minutes before he demanded that I get between his knees and start sucking him again.

 I did it for a while. I guess it was lucky that I was drunk to the point where my jaw didn't hurt, because  that definitely starts to happen  after too long. it did get to the point, though, or I got so bored and so tired and so dizzy that I just laid my head down on his knees. I close my eyes in the entire world was spinning and I swore to God that I might puke right then and there all over him. maybe I should have. maybe that would have made it end.  but maybe he wouldn't have paid me.  he let me rest for a few seconds, then had me right back on his dick again. selfish  bastard.  there was no way he couldn't  have seen that I was pretty drunk.

 that call lasted for an hour. I sucked him almost the whole time. how is that even pleasurable? how did he not get bored? that's so much time. after he finally got off the phone,  he demanded we go upstairs. laying down on the bed, demanded I rode him again.  that also didn't last Very long. soon enough, we were using more lube and he was sticking it in my ass again. he didn't even wait for me to adjust, this time. even more brutal.  I wanted to be over so badly. I was so sick of him. he just wouldn't leave. so clingy. I made a sexy show of begging him to cum in my ass.  it worked, and finally we were both laying in bed and the sex was over. I wanted to go to sleep so badly, but he just kept asking me questions, kept trying to talk to me, kept pretending like we were a couple or something.

 he made a big deal about how he didn't want me to see anybody else. and I told him flat out that that wasn't going to happen. I told him I had people in A----- and I was planning on seeing them again. I told him I had somebody coming the next morning.  I actually had two people planned For tomorrow, but I only told him one. and he was even upset with just that. he made a big deal about it. demanding that I was his and only his because he was putting so much effort into me. as of taking what you want and leaving behind $250  is that much effort.  as if an hour-long blowjob is that much effort.

and then he was talking about how he was going to fly me up there. but he's so stingy, too. talking about how if he bought my plane tickets, I would have to figure out where to stay and then I wouldn't be making any money he would just expect me to be his and his alone for the weekend. I couldn't spend any time with anybody else, I would have to be at his disposal. but he wasn't going to pay me. my compensation would be the tickets to come see him. because I guess he's God's gift to this earth. or at least his dick is,   at least in his eyes.

 and how could it not have been clear that I wanted to go to sleep? he got me drunk, laid me in bed after fucking me, I had my eyes closed. but no, he had to just shove his fingers inside me. reminded me a lot of tommy. he fingered me over and over, and then like him always rubs so hard. always rub the clit raw. I don't understand why they always want me to be in pain. eventually, he stuck two fingers up my ass. he's talking about trying to fist me, even though I kept telling him I don't want to do that. kept talking about how I took his dick so easily that  he thought I could take his hand fine. he fingered my asshole so roughly that I shit the bed.  I feel like that's actually pretty common. but that might just be because I listen to too many drag queens talk about the sex they have. after that, of course he was ready to leave. after embarrassing me like that.

 I had put down a towel cuz I know I squirt so much. he didn't laid me down even close to it. the bed sheets were complete mess and of course they soaked through to the little fluffy thing that the Airbnb owner had underneath them but above the mattress. which I guess was good cuz that means the mattress  didn't get stained.  of course I immediately cleaned up the mess and through the sheets in the wash. the big squishy thing went in after. it was so big though, that the washer flooded. I had to use all the towels I had just washed to clean it up.

He Stayed until almost 6:00.

 that is way too long for only $250.

 and after he left, after I went to go take a pee to try and not get a UTI on top of my yeast infection, I saw the blood. makes sense.  my asshole hurts so bad. and I've got two more appointments tomorrow. 

Total Earned: $2,050

Body Count: 9

Dick Pics: 10

Sex Ranking:

B------

Him

T-----

P------

F-----

R--

T-----

D--

M---

[lady-charinette]

That Fear Chapter 2 - Spy x Family Angst

Decided to write something of a Part 2 to this, since I felt the first chapter didn’t properly capture the suspense, fear and absolute horror of what happened and could’ve have happened. While I don’t have children myself, I feel a very similar fear whenever I had to watch over kids or work with them in a professional setting and seeing them get hurt.

From different perspectives this time, like Yor’s, a more in depth one from Loid and Anya’s.

Warnings: graphic depictions of child drowning, mention of potential death, drowning.

---

‘C-can’t…breathe…’

Anya stopped dead in her tracks, her normally loud mind suddenly quiet.

‘My legs…won’t move…’

Anya’s hands trembled, her thoughts filled with horror at who’s thoughts she was reading right this moment.

Someone was drowning in the pool.

“Papa!” Anya ran towards Loid, gripping his pants leg tightly.

“What is it? You just went to the bathroom, didn’t you?” Loid fixed his sleeves, glancing down at Anya once he noted the girl’s sudden distress.

Anya’s next words hit him like a freight train. “Someone’s drowning in the pool!”

Loid’s eyes widened, “What?! How do you know that? Exactly who are you!?” there were nowhere near the pool area, in fact, they hadn’t even visited it since it was only meant for patients.

Was Anya’s overactive imagination playing games with her? He would need to have a talk with her about joking with such serious things-

Anya seemed shaken, her small body trembling in fear.

If Loid ever found out about her powers, if Yor found out about her powers, Anya would…Anya would…!

‘Help me…somebody help me…’ the desperation in the drowning boy’s voice momentarily cut through Anya’s fears and she bravely looked up at Loid.

“Papa…Anya is terrible at volunteering. So I…” turning on her heel, remembering her mother’s training, Anya ran as fast as her little legs would carry her to the direction of the pool and the drowning boy’s screaming thoughts. “I’m gonna become a pro swimmer and get stars, so I’m gonna go practice in the pool!”

“Wait, come back here! That’s not a public pool! Anya!” Loid took off running after the girl as the patients in the hallways looked after them.

Tears pricked Anya’s eyes the more her mind got filled with the boy’s thoughts.

‘Help me! Please! Somebody…anybody…why can’t….why can’t nobody hear…me…’

‘Ma…..mama…please…please hear me…please!’

‘Mama!’

Anya finally managed to see the deep blue waters of the pools up ahead, a woman with a ponytail had just closed a door. “Woo! The pool!”

“Hey, where are your parents?” the question fell on deaf ears, Anya’s heart racing with fear and her head filled with the drowning boy’s screams.

‘I can’t….I can’t…! Help!’

“Woo, the pool! How fun!”

All the adults in the pool looked at her quizzically, but Anya had no time for them.

 She had to find the boy.

‘Where is he?’

‘I’m…gonna die…’

No!

Anya’s legs felt weak, weaker than they’d ever been.

The air in the pool felt sticky, suffocating, too hot all at once. How could adults breathe in here? Why did she feel so out of breath?

‘I’m gonna….’

The splash of cold water washed over Anya like ice over a heated pan, her body jumping from the shock of the sudden temperature change before she forced her eyes to open and survey her surroundings.

There!

The boy’s eyes were wide open, staring at her as if she was the grim reaper coming to claim his soul.

Anya kicked her legs harder, her whole body burning up like a furnace despite the cold water all around her.

Had she taken in enough air before she dived? Why was Anya so tired already? The boy was still so far away.

No, she couldn’t give up! That boy needed help. She wouldn’t let him die!

The burn in her lungs grew worse. She needed air! Air!

‘Anya…can’t….anymore…’ Anya’s thoughts were filled with cries for air and the boy’s cries for life, she couldn’t discern which thoughts were hers or his anymore.

Everything looked so blurry. The pressure was too much. Too much-

Water entered her mouth and Anya kicked her legs and arms harder, before fatigue finally won over her body.

‘Papa…mama….’

Before Anya’s eyes closed fully to the dark abyss of the pool, she felt an incredible force grabbing her collar and pulling her upward.

The water rushed all around her, pulling at her body to remain at the bottom while being pulled away from it.

‘Operation Strix is in danger!’ Loid felt his heart beat wildly in his chest, as if clawing against his ribcage to escape into freedom. ‘Anya is in danger!’

“Tell me, where did the little girl just go?!” Loid’s head whipped this way and that, finally arriving at the pool area, waiting impatiently for the stunned woman next to him to talk.

When there was no answer, Loid rounded on the woman, desperation and fear in his wide blown eyes. “Tell me where my daughter just went!” his lips pulled back in a snarl, fear gripping his heart in a vice. When the woman finally pointed a shaky finger towards the pool area with air bubbles disrupting the surface, Loid felt as if he stood under an ice-cold shower.

No.

Anya!

Without thinking of Operation Strix, without thinking of his own safety or the fate of Westalis and Ostania, Twilight raced towards the edge of the pool and dived into the water.

Loid quickly resurfaced, grabbing the boy and Anya more securely in his arms as he quickly made his way towards the edge of the pool. “Hey, are you two alright?”

The woman from before rushed towards them, grabbing the boy from his arms. “Ken! Ken!!” that must be his mother then.

“Someone get a doctor!” someone shouted in the distance, but Loid only heard white noise.

Anya wasn’t stirring.

“Anya?” Loid heaved himself up and out of the pool, quickly turning Anya to get a better look at her face.

It was pale.

“Anya? Hey.” He gently patted her cheeks, leaning in close to check for breathing. She was breathing, but it was shallow.

Was someone screaming in his ear?

His hands held on tighter to Anya, worry and fear keeping a tight leash on his carefully kept control. “Call an ambulance! Now!” Twilight didn’t register when a team of doctors arrived, he did notice when somebody tried to pry Anya out of his embrace, but he relaxed upon seeing the green and blue scrubs and doctor’s coats.

Twilight’s legs felt like liquid gelatin when he tried to stand, a man in speedos rushing towards him with a clipboard in his hand. “Hey, are you okay? Was that your daughter back there? Does she have a mother? You should call your wife to let her know what happened!”

Wife?

Yor.

Where was his phone? Didn’t he have it on himself? He had shed his jacket before he dived into the pool, but where was his jacket?

The man kindly grabbed his elbow, which distracted Twilight long enough from his racing thoughts to listen to him. “Let me guide you to a nurse, she’ll call your wife for you.”

All Twilight could do was nod, thoughts still racing with Anya and her shallow breathing.

-

“Thank you, Sharon!” Yor called after the woman handed Yor her coffee, feeling tired after a long day of work.

She wondered how Loid and Anya were doing, normally Loid would sent her a message with a quick update on their progress but none came today.

Maybe they were very busy with volunteer work, she knew it could get very busy there.

Chief Barnes suddenly left his office in a hurry and looked directly at Yor. “Hey Forger, there’s a nurse on the line! Your husband and kid are in the hospital!”

The coffee she was about to take a sip from stilled in mid-air, Yor’s hand suddenly entirely too clammy and cold for them to be holding hot coffee.

“...What?” was all that left Yor’s mouth before Chief Barnes quickly ushered her towards the phone. “H-Hello?”

“Mrs. Forger?”

A middle-aged woman replied on the other end of the line and a sense of dread pooled in the pit of Yor’s stomach. “Y-Yes?”

“This is Nurse Joy, please come to the Berlint city hospital at the volunteer center. Your husband and daughter are here. There’s been an accident.”

Yor wasn’t sure when she had begun to sway on the spot, she wasn’t sure when her footing became so unsteady that Chief Barnes had to hold her by her shoulders for her not to fall.

Everything seemed a blur from that call onwards, Yor hadn’t realized when she had packed her bags and left Berlint City Hall, she didn’t even know how she arrived at the hospital, all she knew was she had to get there as fast as she could.

Loid and Anya were hurt.

-

The staff at Berlint General Hospital were schooled in dealing with patients and their worried family members, but they weren’t prepared for Yor Forger.

The woman had scouted the halls as if possessed, driven by maternal instinct that a lot of the hospital staff could sympathize with. Still, she really didn’t have to look this murderous.

“Excuse me, who are-“

“Where are my husband and child? Loid and Anya Forger!” Yor really didn’t have to look this murderous at the male nurse.

It wasn’t until Yor saw Loid slumped over Anya’s small body, lying on the hospital bed, that she felt like she could breathe again.

All the tension and fear left her at once and her legs threatened to give out.

She didn’t know when it registered to Loid she was there, she certainly had no idea how the man managed to move from his seat next to Anya to her side so quickly to catch her fall, but he did.

One arm wrapped securely around her waist, the gym bag digging into his soaked side that Yor had brought with her.

When had she brought the gym bag with her-

“Yor?”

Both adults blinked at each-other, as if in a stupor, until Yor seemed to melt against Loid and her voice came out hoarse from crying and threatening murder. “What…what happened, Loid? Is Anya okay?”

Loid’s grip around Yor tightened, his chin resting on top of her head and despite the exhaustion rolling off his body in waves, it almost seemed like the embrace was giving him strength.

“She’s fine, Yor. They’re still checking her breathing, but everything is fine.” He carefully guided Yor to sit on a spare chair next to him and Anya’s bed, her hands immediately moving to inspect the child, as if Yor’s hands had the healing abilities of the doctors around them to assess the damage, “Anya dived into the pool to save a drowning boy. She…can’t swim that well yet and almost…” Loid sucked in a breath. “I managed to get them both out in time.”

Yor blinked away the tears stinging her eyes and focused on her husband’s voice to calm her frayed nerves down.

-1 hour later-

It was already 6pm, the doctor and nurses had checked on Anya regularly to ensure her vital signs were in order.

A nurse offered to check on Loid, but he politely declined. He had felt more ill from the shock than his quick dive in the pool. Normally, this would be nothing since his training in WISE had been far worse, but there was something about this situation that had drained him far more than any physically strenuous operation ever could.

It had been the emotional turmoil he found himself in when confronted with the possibility of Anya drowning.

Loid sighed, running a hand through his still damp hair. Why did this room feel so stuffy? It had already been an hour and his clothes didn’t seem to dry as fast as they should’ve.

Before he would drive himself mad with these pointless questions, Twilight focused on Anya’s sleeping face, his hand gently rubbing her knuckles, his other hand rubbing Anya’s belly through the blanket.

‘How did she know that the child was drowning? Anya mentioned it before we reached the pool, that woman told me Anya said she could see air bubbles from the shallower pool and that’s how she knew somebody was underwater, but I remember Anya telling me about someone drowning in the pool.’ Twilight glanced pensively at the sleeping girl’s face, his hand moving to pat her head gently. ‘There is something about her…even if Franky couldn’t find anything in her files, I’m sure there’s something Anya’s not telling me.’

“Loid.” Loid startled when he heard Yor’s voice from right beside him, her own hand resting on top of Anya’s legs, pulling the blanket down to cover her feet fully. The room had been so quiet before, Loid had almost forgotten Yor was here with him. “You’re still soaked, please get changed, I’ll watch over Anya.”

Loid spied the gym bag on the chair in the corner, assuming it to be filled with a spare set of clothes for him and most likely Anya. Yor had still been at work when the hospital had called, yet she still rushed back home to bring a spare change of clothes and food with her before rushing to the hospital to see them.

Feeling an uncanny warmth bloom in his chest, warming his ice-cold body, Loid stood up to grab the bag and leave to change, but not before he looked back at Yor. “Thank you Yor, you must’ve been terrified to receive that call from the hospital, and yet, you still thought of bringing us fresh clothes and food…thank you.” He smiled, a genuine smile that spoke of deep gratitude.

Yor returned his smile, nodding in his direction. “Of course.”

When Loid left to change, Yor sighed deeply and moved to Loid’s seat to gently grab Anya’s hands, Yor’s bangs covering her eyes.

Droplets of liquid fell on Anya’s hands, so small and tiny cradled in Yor’s, as the woman silently wept for the child she thought she lost today.

When Loid came back dressed in clean, dry clothes he found Yor sound asleep next to Anya, resting her head next to Anya’s body. The regular beeping of the heart monitor a reassuring sound in the quiet room.

Loid quietly set aside the bag and grabbed the blanket a nurse kindly left them. Moving carefully, mindful of Yor’s sharp senses, Loid gently draped the blanket over Yor’s form, tucking her in so it didn’t fall off.

His keen eyes spotted the tear tracks on her face and the residue of liquid in the corners of her red, puffy eyelids.

‘She was crying.’ thought Twilight, realizing how, despite not being biologically related, Yor still considered Anya as her daughter. Her daughter who almost drowned today while trying to save a drowning boy herself.

While Loid had experienced and knew great loss, he couldn’t fathom the pain a mother went through upon the loss of her child.

Whenever the older soldiers would trade war stories over the campfire on the front lines, they would always speak of death and the decorated heroes who fell prey to a senseless war.

And they would always be mindful of mentioning the mothers weeping over their dead sons, the light catching the medal placed upon the coffin keeping their son’s body, an honor given upon a body who died protecting a country the young man hadn’t know what to protect it from.

A deep sigh left Loid, as if the sorrows and the heavy emotion tried to exit through his mouth. He knew it was wise to catch some sleep, after today’s events, they would need the strength for tomorrow when Anya would be discharged and go home.

After all, their little girl had saved someone’s life, that ought to call for a celebration.

Twilight soon fell into a deep sleep with that thought in mind, exhaustion finally forcing his body to shut down.

-

When Loid opened his eyes, bright light hurt his vision for a moment.

Once his sight adjusted to the brightness of the room, Loid could make out two figures looking at him.

One was Yor, still dressed in her work clothes and appearing relieved.

The other was Anya, tired but beaming with a smile stretching her cheeks.

Twilight had never felt so grateful to wake up for the next day.

Thanks for reading! :) Hope you enjoyed! Also on Ao3

[buckyownsmylife]

Count the Shadows - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky wants you to sit on his face.

Warnings: smut, a more dominant reader than I’m used to writing, pining!Bucky, all of the good stuff, second hand embarassment

A/N: so... this is a gift to @navegandoaciegas. She gave me the idea for the Graveyard series ending, and that actually inspired me to keep working on that fic that was supposed to only be a oneshot and then became the pride of my eye. I hope you don’t mind that I’m dedicating this to her 😅 It also allowed me to explore some new kinks that might be appearing thanks to her writing and so really, I felt like this had to see the light of day. But really, if it weren’t for @world-of-aus, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ and @awesomerextyphoon​‘s support, I probably never would have had the courage to publish it, so thank you guys so much!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Friday nights at Stark tower meant that something out of the ordinary was about to happen, and I’d already grown used to it, after being a part of the Avengers for the last two months. However, that didn’t mean that the prospect of a night planned by Tony Stark didn’t bring me a hell of a lot of anxiety, to the point where sometimes I’d catch myself wishing for a simple recon mission to take me away for the weekend. 

Despite all of my fears and discomfort, I’d been lucky so far. Not once had his attentions turned towards me, and he never even so much as called me to dance with him during one of the raves he liked to organize, so I was able to slip by unnoticed, seizing the opportunity to drink the good (expensive) booze and talk to my friends before retiring for the night.

By Wednesday that week, it was clear that the same couldn’t be said about the next event he’d be hosting.

“Say, Y/L/N, have I thrown you a welcome party?” Was my rude awakening on that fateful morning. Until his arrival, I’d been happily whipping up some pancakes for the supersoldiers and Sam, my morning run partners. The moment his question was processed in my brain however, I froze on my spot, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Oh, now, don’t give me that look. When have I ever thrown a bad party?”

Bucky choked on his coffee, and I immediately was by his side, lightly tapping his back to help him. “I guess this answers your question,” I joked, but with a serious face. Unfortunately, Tony simply rolled his eyes, too used to Bucky and I’s “antisocial behavior”, like he usually described, to give us any attention. “Okay, so maybe not bad, but if you’re going to throw a party using me as an excuse, I have at least one request. And it’s a dealbreaker for me.”

Something in my words truly interested Tony, because instead of brushing me off he actually turned to face me, raising his eyebrows in expectation. “So what you mean is that if I don’t give you what you want, you won’t join the party?”

I nodded, standing my ground. “That’s right.” Next to me, Bucky stood straighter in his chair. 

“Neither will I.” That brought a smile to my lips, and I turned to hug him quickly. 

“Thanks Buck,” I whispered in his ear, relishing in the way he always held onto my embrace just a second longer than I expected. It was always like this with us. Ever since I first noticed just how touch-starved the super soldier was, I’d find little excuses to touch him. And if I ever doubted my first assumption, the way he always chased away my warmth for just a second longer was enough to prove to me that I was doing something right.

“Very well,” Tony said after clearing his throat to regain my attention. “What’s your request?”

“Only the people who live in this tower can be invited.” I was expecting a lot of fuss from the billionaire, but surprisingly, all I got was a disappointed sigh.

“Figured as much. Okay, big shot. But here’s the deal: you’ll have to stay the entire night and participate in every game we decide to play.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. That sounded fair. “It’s a deal then! All you have to do is be here on Friday night, capisce? Don’t be late.”

I should have known something was up back then, but as it were, I was just happy that I was able to stop him from filling the Tower with people I didn’t know. Not only would it help to keep Bucky relaxed (and perhaps even allow him to enjoy himself for once!), it’d also help to keep myself relaxed. 

I’d never been one to enjoy big crowds, and I especially didn’t want to celebrate joining the team with people who weren’t even a part of it. It made sense. So when Friday night rolled around, it found me in a way better mood than I expected. I even accepted Nat’s suggestion and let her pick my clothes. I was feeling so great, in fact, that I felt bolder, brave enough to accept to wear a satin red dress with a deep neckline that seemed to be able to attract every man’s attention upon seeing me. 

Even Bucky seemed drawn to it. And I couldn’t deny that knowing I held that sort of power even to a man of his caliber, a man that attractive, made me feel even braver. But with braveness comes stupidity, and I was brutally reminded of that fact by Tony’s smug face when I heard the dare he had for me.

Listen, I would have never accepted the idea of fucking truth or dare if it wasn’t for this stupidly sexy dress. I mean, the powers that clothing can have… They can make you blind with clout. That’s the only way I could justify what happened next.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I argued, much to Tony’s (and the rest of the team’s) amusement. Each and every single one of them looked at me with barely contained laughter, with the exception of Bucky, apparently.

“Careful, sweetheart… The dare’s already on and that wasn’t very sexy of you.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I very carefully thought out my gameplay here. I could very well retreat to my bedroom and go to sleep. But then again, this whole night had been so fun, and Tony had been really nice to abide by my wishes to only invite people that I knew…

“Fine. I’ll spend the rest of the night being as blunt as possible as I hit on you guys. After all, this is probably the only way you’ll ever get to hear me talking dirty, huh?” And with a wink in Tony’s direction, I resigned myself to face the challenge ahead. “So, let’s get on with this orgy, shall we?”

Bucky’s P.O.V.

It’s not that I was jealous. Of course, I wasn’t jealous. It’s just… hearing her say those things in front of everyone else made my blood boil like nothing else. I knew it wasn’t my place to feel this way. It’s not like she owed me anything, much less attention. As much as I wanted, she wasn’t mine, or even close to that.

Despite being head over heels in love with her, I still hadn’t gathered enough courage to even ask her out for a cup of coffee - or anything else, for that matter. And the worst part was that everyone but her seemed to know about my feelings. Which made this whole night even worse, since I was pretty sure Tony had done all of this on purpose.

So I had to sit through a lot of “Oh, please fuck me”, and “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,” none of which were addressed to me - and those were the least graphic ones. I couldn’t really blame her, since I hadn’t spoken a single word from the second this whole dare started, but still, I was sulking, and I knew it.

In fact, I was so lost inside my own head, that I didn’t even realize what had happened when she asked “Do you want me to sit on your face or what?” (which I’m pretty sure was directed to Sam) until a heavy silence took the place of the animated chatter that had been going on. Imagine my surprise when I realized everyone was staring at me.

“What?” I asked, my heart already beating out of control, looking from one face to the other in the hopes of grasping what I had lost in the conversation.

“You just said you wanted Y/N to sit on your face,” was the response I got, from no other than Sam himself, and if my heart had been pounding on my chest only seconds before, now it felt as if it had stopped altogether.

“You’re crazy,” I tried to joke, trying with all of my might not to look at the woman who was staring at me. I could feel her gaze on my face. It burned and I ached to look, to see what sort of expression she was wearing, but my anxiety was just too strong - stronger than my curiosity ever could be.

“I wish I was, man. But you literally just answered ‘Please sit on mine’ when she asked if she could sit on my face.” I was going to die. I was sure of it. My face felt so warm, there was no way I wouldn’t just spontaneously combust any second now.

The worst part was, I knew Sam was telling the truth. Because those were the precise words I thought the second that I heard the offer leave her beautiful lips. And now I didn’t know what to do.

“Fine, your room or mine?” She broke me out of my self-deprecating thoughts, surprising me so much that I automatically raised my eyes to meet hers, finding her looking down at me with a mischievous smirk on her lips. Was she joking? Was this part of the dare?

The room erupted on laughs and I forced myself to join them, praying to whoever was available up in the heavens that they would let me be and thankfully, soon enough, the conversation smoothly transitioned away from me and my stupid malfunctioning. Y/N didn’t look in my direction again, which helped with my task of trying to get my breathing pattern into a normal one once more, and in a half hour people were breaking up into small groups and going back into their own rooms for the night.

I figured it was safe to do the same. So I got back to my bedroom’s floor with my hands buried deep in my pocket, trying to figure out what the hell had happened that night, when the door to my room suddenly opened and a tiny hand wrapped around my wrist, hauling me as best as they could into my own living quarters.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Bucky looked beyond surprised as he stared down at me with his mouth hanging open. I was tempted to tease him about letting flies in if he stayed like that, but I didn’t want to make this any more difficult for him than it clearly already would be. To be honest, I also had no idea how I’d been able to move that mountain of a man.

“What are you doing in my room?” Oh, right. That’s what he was concerned about. Fair enough.

“I wanted to show you something.” By the way he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to say anything else, it was clear that it wasn’t the answer he was expecting, but then again, he obviously wasn’t expecting me to be in his room. 

“W-What?”

I grinned, immediately curling my fingers on the edge of my dress before promptly pulling it over my head and sending it flying across the room. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and it only made my smile grow bigger as I quickly got rid of my bra before finally doing the same to my underwear.

“What? Did you think I would let you suffer?” The poor thing, he didn’t seem capable of answering at all, eyes the size of plates as he stared at my naked body, practically drooling. I ran my hands over my breasts, cupping them slightly before trailing further down.

“Did you think I’d let Sam learn what my pussy tasted like? Or Steve? No, no, no, James. This is for you and you only.” Burying a finger inside of me, I made sure to let out my loudest, most pornographic moan as I slowly thrusted it once inside of me before raising it to his face.

“See how I’m soaked? I always get like this when I’m near you.” Bucky actually whimpered, knees faltering for a second as he reached out to grab a hold of himself with the wall next to us, and I laughed before raising a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “What are you waiting for? Get on your knees.”

My breath hitched as I watched the mountain of a man before me literally do exactly that, hypnotizingly staring at the space between my legs before slowly meeting my eyes with a look of pure need in his perfect face. Jesus. How the fuck was I supposed to control myself when he was looking at me like that?

I had gathered the sense that Bucky wanted me, that much became clear tonight, but I had no idea the extent of his desire until just then. Until he looked at me with pupils dilated from under his stupidly long eyelashes, breath coming out from his open mouth like he was desperate for me, desperate to taste what I had to offer.

He looked like he would do anything I asked him to in that second, and the feeling of power that thought gave me left me horny as nothing else. So my first order of business was to command, “Eat me.”

The second the words were out, it was clear that was all he was waiting to do what both of us so clearly wanted. Two strong hands grabbed me from behind and with that grasp of my ass, he pulled me to him until I was in fact seated on his face, wholly dependent on his muscular body to keep me up.

“Oh God,” he was the one to whisper, and a shiver ran through my body as he licked my pussy from clit to hole before diving in as if he was determined to rid me of all of my wetness - knowing fully well it was an impossible task.

Bucky Barnes didn’t need any guidance in the art of eating pussy, that quickly became clear to me, but I still felt the need to grab a hold of his hair just to help keep myself grounded into the reality of this moment. The way he moaned against my cunt at the action, the vibrations running through my body and making me tremble on top of him, certainly didn’t make me regret any part of my decision. It was clear he liked that sting of pain.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I was having a hard time believing this was really happening, even though I had Y/N’s completely naked body on top of me, her cunt spread open by my own tongue, her juices covering every inch of my tongue. I couldn’t even convince myself to close my eyes to fully enjoy her taste, too preoccupied with memorizing every little thing about this moment. 

And the second she opened her eyes to find me already looking up at her, I was particularly glad for my decision, if only because I got to witness the delicious smile that took over her beautiful face before she grinded her pussy against my lips.

“Fuck, you look so good like this. I could get used to this.” A jolt ran through my body at the implications of what she was saying. Before I could even fully process it, I was already responding with the only thing that occupied my mind then, “Please do.”

If I thought I would scare her away with my desperation, a delighted giggle immediately managed to calm my nerves. “Do you always say what you’re thinking?” She asked, still rubbing herself against me, so it took me a while to be able to moan against her wetness an honest, “Yes.” When I did though, the vibrations managed to be exactly what she needed to gush her release onto my waiting mouth, making me growl in excitement. She was so fucking sweet. My cock was so fucking hard it hurt, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to pleasure her, how much I never wanted this night to end.

Unfortunately for my plans, she decided to climb down from me, eyes drinking my kneeling position while she caught her breath for a bit before she threw herself on my bed, feet on the mattress so I’d get a perfect vision of her perfect pussy. Hypnotized, I didn’t even notice I’d gotten up and approached her until her voice broke me out of my reverie.

“Would you like to take a picture?” I knew she was joking, but there was no way I’d miss the slightest possibility of getting at least a permanent reminder of this night, so I answered as truthfully as possible yet again, “Of course. Would you let me take one?”

I was expecting her to laugh it off and move this along, but once more her answer surprised me. “Only if you promise me you won’t use it to jerk off to.” The confusion must have been clear in my expression, because she quickly added, “That’s what I’m here for.”

My heartbeat picked up as I struggled to process her words. “D-Does this mean you’ll want to do this again?” I watched as a small smile grew on her lips and she sat up on the mattress before reaching out to me.

“Every night, if you’ll have me.”

Another moment of silence as I struggled to accept that this was real, that this was really happening. 

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t contain my delighted giggles at the lovestruck expression on Bucky’s eyes. But my need for him was growing deeper every second, so while he stared I reached out for his jeans, quickly managing to unzip them and push them down until I could wrap my hands around his member.

“Jesus, you’re so hard.” Even without any actual stimulation, apparently just giving me pleasure was enough to get him ready for me. I could barely wait to feel his cock inside of my pussy.

“I-I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered while climbing on the bed and settling between my thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about this for the longest time.” Gosh, could he be any more perfect?

“Well, it’s happening now, James. Please, please, fuck me. I need your cock in me.” His lips looked wet from our earlier activities, and my gaze immediately fell on them when he gasped at my words and the feeling of his cock rubbing on my pussy. When I positioned the head and pulled him closer to me, signaling what I wanted, he followed without any resistance, his entire body trembling as he struggled to keep himself up with both hands on either side of my head.

“You’re doing so great, baby. God, it feels so good to be with you like this.” Apparently, Bucky grew tired of fighting against his own body, since he allowed his massive frame to fall just over mine, resting his forehead on mine.

“Fuck.” Hearing the word whispered so close to me, his warm breath dancing over my skin, while he was effectively about to do just that, felt incredibly arousing for something so small. “It’s like I can’t get close enough to you.”

In the search to feel more connected to me, he finally started thrusting, and then it was like I’d forgotten to speak altogether. Only able to hold tight to those shoulders that tempted me for so long, I struggled to keep the moans and whimpers inside so I could continue to hear the little breathless whispers that he was releasing, almost like he was speaking to himself…

“So wet…” It all only made me more desperate for the enchanting man on top of me, so beautiful, and yet so insecure of his own allure. I hoped after tonight he’d start understanding just how attractive he truly was, at least to me.

“Bucky…” I managed to whisper, calling out for his attention and earning it when his eyes snapped open to meet mine. “Bucky, kiss me.” I needed to feel those lips against mine, to have that one sweet gesture of entwinement that we still hadn’t shared. Apparently, he felt the same need, because in a second, he was onto me, mouth slowly prying mine open so his tongue could explore yet another part of my body that now belonged to him.

By then, he couldn’t contain his moans anymore, and I was grateful that I was still able to keep mine low so I wouldn’t miss the symphony of whimpers and whines, especially after he pulled away to catch his breath and his eyes met mine.

“Fuck, darling…” Each sound from his lips made my pulse grow quicker, my body warmer, that incredible high closer and closer to me. And still, because I needed to tease him, I found myself saying, “For someone who was so embarrassed about the team knowing you wanted me, you surely can be loud.”

Bucky hid his head on the crook of my neck, making goosebumps rise all over my body as he rubbed his nose against my skin, breathing me in. If I thought it was a gesture of shyness, his next words assured me that wasn’t the case at all.

“I want them to hear. I want them to know I’m yours.” The confession had the fire of desire burning brighter inside of me, and my hands slipped around his back, certainly leaving nailprints behind.

“Oh, is that it? You’re mine now, James?” The thought thrilled me to no end, but I needed him to say it, not only because I wanted to be sure there was no uncertainty in his feelings for me, but also because it made me even weaker for the soldier and the dominance he had over my body.

“C-Can I be? Please?” There was so much vulnerability in his beautiful blue eyes that the only answer I managed to give at first was the connection between our lips again, pulling him down to me so our bodies were completely glued to one another once more. My fingers buried in his locks, I pulled on them when I needed to gather some air, and finally give him an actual answer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Hell fucking yes. We’ll be the hottest couple on Earth.” A shiver went through my body at the realization that she truly wanted this, that she truly wanted me. A sound escaped my lips before I could realize, and in fact, I only noticed it because she broke me out of my reverie by saying, “You know, everytime you whine, I have the overwhelming urge to just tie you down to this bed and give you a reason to do so.”

Shit. This woman made me weak. And the moment I lost control of my own weight, she took advantage of it, inverting our positions so she was the one on top, while managing to keep my cock nestled deep inside of her.

“Do you want to cum, sweetheart?” Hearing the filthiness that spilled out of her lips only made me hotter and hotter, my hands flying up to hold her waist as she began to ride me. “Tell me just how badly you want it. Say it, or I’ll leave you right here, right on the edge of bliss, and I’ll cum on your thigh instead.”

I heaved loudly, trying to force my own tongue to work, but the sight of her breasts bouncing with her movements was too hypnotizing. I would never regain full control of my body again, I realized, for as long as she wanted to keep me around. But instead of feeling lost, like I did when the Winter Soldier took over, all I could feel was peace.

She wanted me. She wanted my body, my soul, every part of me. Despite every missing piece, every scar. Everything anyone had ever done to me, everything I’d done to so many. And I’d gladly give it all to her, forever.

“Please, please let me cum, ma’am.” The name left my lips before I could realize, but it made her smile. And right then, I knew I’d done the right thing. Her movements picked up, her hand searching mine to guide my thumb to meet her nub, and as soon as I started rubbing it, she gasped in the most melodic of sounds.

“Cum for me, James. I wanna feel you cumming inside of me.” Jesus fucking christ. I didn’t have a choice, my body reacting to her calling like she was a siren and I was helpless. I felt helpless. It wasn’t difficult to see that I liked it, though. I liked being under her control. I liked how she pulled me apart and held me in place all at the same time.

“If you don’t take your thumb away, so help me God.” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts, realizing her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe properly now that she’d reached her climax with me. I smiled sheepishly before adjusting on the bed, right when she climbed down from my body, and a whine escaped my chest despite my better wishes, making her look at me with an amused smile.

“I’m sorry, I just… I kinda miss you already.” Her smile grew bigger, her eyes twinkling under the moonlight as she leaned over me to kiss me, and I couldn’t help it. I just had to hug her closer, have her falling on top of my chest just so I could invert our positions and kiss her some more.

“I want something that’ll show them I’m yours.” I admitted once she pulled away to gather her breath, and her eyebrows rose in surprise, but also interest, I could tell.

“Like a collar?”

“I was thinking more like a love bite, but I don’t mind.” Her giggle was the most adorable sound in the universe, I was sure of it. 

“Baby, I’ll let you fuck me in front of them, if it’ll help your insecurity,” she soothed me, and the thought of having everyone see us together, fully understand that I belonged to her, electrified me. “You’re mine now. You can be damn sure if anyone tries to flirt with you, they’ll have to deal with me. And I’ll make sure they know I’m yours and only yours if they try to chat me up.”

The thought made me smile, and I laid back on the bed and pulled her to rest against my chest, my hand instinctively coming up to play with her hair. “I can get used to that.” We stayed like that for a while, just breathing in each other’s presences, relishing in the comfortable silence between us, until I felt the need to break it.

“Can I kiss you again?” I felt her smile against my skin, before she pushed away to reach for me and connect our lips once more. God, I don’t think I’d ever get used to knowing I could have this anytime I wanted. “One more,” I begged when she pulled away, and she pretended to think for a moment before shooting me a mischievous grin. 

“Only if you come fuck me in the shower.”

The only thing I could think to say in response, as I watched her strut in the direction of the bathroom, was “Fuck, you’re sexy.”

[holylulusworld]

Smirk of the devil

Title: Smirk of the devil

Summary: He’s the devil in disguise.

Square filled for @spnquotebingo​​​​​​: (“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years.” – SPN)

Word Count: 1,9k

Pairing: Clubowner!Dean x fem!Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruby, Gadreel, unnamed girl

Rating: Explicit

Warnings:  angst, language, smut, unprotected sex, a hint of fluff, mentions of cheating (implied), sadness, toxic relationship?, unrequited feelings, Dean hurt the reader more than once, hopeful ending but no happy ending

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​​

SPN Quote Bingo masterlist

“Excuse me, miss,“ a young girl, barely twenty-one coos. She looks up at you with big doe eyes, batting her eyelashes. “I’m looking for Dean Winchester. He asked me to come here at nine.”

“No, you don’t,” anyone not knowing you would think you are trying to be rude to the girl, but this is so far from the truth. “Girls like you shouldn’t come to places like these.” you huff when the girl rolls her eyes. “You don’t want to meet up with Dean.”

“And you know this why?” she sasses, hands on her hips now. 

You can smell the strawberry chewing gum she tortured the whole time and can’t help but chuckle at her bratty attitude. Once upon a time, you were just like her.

Sweet, innocent, an intact heart beating in your chest.

“You’re not my mom. So, why do you think you can keep me away from Dean,” you’d like to slap her face at the ‘mom’ comment but bite your tongue. You never were a violent person. Maybe if you were, Dean would run around with one ball missing. “I bet you’re just jealous he wants me.”

What can you possibly tell the girl? That he will break her heart. That, once he has you in his clutches he will strip off your dignity, rip any pride left out of your chest and replace your former self with a drooling mess, begging him to do it all over again.

“Speak of the devil,” you whisper, watching Dean waltz into his club, the bunker, the place you first met. Those days seem a lifetime away. Back then you still were a cute and clueless girl, missing the way he tainted you with every touch and kiss. 

“I want to speak to him, now,” the girl pouts and you get the feeling she’s rather a girl scout wanting to sell cookies than her pussy to a man she won’t be able to handle. “NOW!”

“It’s your funeral, sweet cheeks,” you wave her off, walk past the girl to talk to Dean Winchester, the devil himself. Oh, how you wish you could tell him to go to hell, but you would only beg him to take you with him.

“Sweetheart,” he dips his head, shamelessly roams your body with darkened eyes, “you look ready to get eaten.” damn him, he smirks, and you get weak in the knees. “And you will—”

“Another of your fangirls,” you jerk your head in the girl’s direction, rolling your eyes. “Guess you are down to high school girls now, Winchester. Shame on you.”

“Jealous?” he cocks his head, watches you turn on your heels, ignoring your racing heart when he walks behind you, one hand on the small of your back. “So, how’s it going with your mysterious boyfriend lately?”

“Wonderful,” you grit out, already walking faster to brush Dean off. “I told you, no questions about my love life or I’ll quit once for all, Dean. Go, take care of your girl.”

It’s when he walks toward the girl that you allow yourself to admire his back, his broad shoulders, and, yes, his ass.

“Ogling my brother again?” Sam stands too close for comfort, but you don’t mind. “What’s the state of your on-and-off relationship? Who’s winning this round?”

“No one is going to win shit, Sammy. Dean wants to fuck every woman with a pulse, and I want a faithful man, period,” you turn your attention back toward the bartender who wanted to talk to you about the latest order.

“He’s hard to handle, I told you so,” Sam nudges your side. “Why don’t you lay claim on him and show any woman he’s yours.”

“Dean is not my man, never was,” you sigh, eyes filled with unshed tears once again. “When we met, he did anything to get me, and then, he dropped me like any other girl. I’m not what he wants, Sam. Dean lives for his club, Baby, and having sex with any woman he can get into his bed…”

“Bunny hole would be the better name for this shithole,” you grit out, downing your first drink of the night. “Give me another one, Gade. I wanna get drunk tonight.”

“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t drink at work,” Dean sits on the barstool next to you, grinning when you grasp for the next drink. 

He easily snatches the drink out of your hands, downing it in one go, slamming the glass onto the counter. “Your boss could catch you red-handed and fire you or slap your ass. Whatever you prefer.”

“Go ahead and fire me, Winchester. This shithole will go down without the manager keeping it alive,” you quip. “Now let me have another drink. My shift is almost over.”

“Almost,” he whispers in your ear, fingertips sliding over your thigh to hike up your skirt. “How about we talk about this at my office in the back, Miss Y/L/N?” you place your hand on top of Dean’s to guide it to his thigh, hiding you shivered at his touch.

“Don’t hurt yourself, boss,” you lean closer to whisper the words. “I think you had enough fun with little miss sunshine not an hour ago. I hope you checked she was at age, Dean.”

“Jesus, I asked her to come around for a job, nothing else,” Dean grumbles, hand moving toward your thigh again. “I don’t play with girls, only with women.”

“Yeah, I remember how well you played with half of the female population in town,” snickering Dean slides off his barstool to stand behind you. He’s caging you with his body, places both hands on each side of the bar counter.

“You were one of them, and I remember you were so eager to get out of that cute dress you wore only for me, sweetheart,” he husks in your ear. “Come to my office, Miss Y/L/N, and let’s talk about your behavior lately.”

“If you insist, boss,” you hate you follow him all too eager.

While Dean waltzes toward his office, waving at people, you fight your way through the masses, unbeknownst Sam is following your every step with his eyes.

“She will fall for him all over again,” Ruby sighs. The brunette sips at her drink while sitting on Sam’s lap. “Can you not tell your brother to stop breaking my friend’s heart? She deserves better for fuck’s sake. Two years ago, she found a nice guy and tried to quit only to do the walk of shame the next morning.”

“I can’t help two fools in love to find their way. I tried, Baby. Don’t ask me to talk to my brother about love again. He’s stubborn. You know that Ruby.”

“I know, still, she deserves better than a quick fuck at his office only to end up alone and weeping on the floor for weeks after he had his way with her…”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Dean groans with every thrust. “I’ve missed this tight little cunt around me.” you hate yourself for letting Dean in once again while he takes you apart.

What can a girl do when he has you pressed against the wall the moment he closed the door behind you. His lips on yours, his hands on your ass to heave you up to hold you against the wall.

His thrusts are more demanding tonight, his lips tender against your throat and his hand, well his hands hold you a little tighter. “Dean, fuck—we shouldn’t.”

“A little too late for regrets,” the devil moans in your neck, moves a little slower to drag his thick length against your walls. “You’re so wet for me, Sugar.” you whimper at the nickname. 

It brings back memories of all the nights he called you like that, voice hoarse and his eyes only set on you.

“Go to hell—” you finally choke out, still, you hold tight onto his shoulders when he starts to fuck up into you at a madding pace. 

“I’ll just take you with me,” he grips your ass tighter, moves you up and down his length while his lips do the worst thing possible – they claim yours in a bruising kiss, take your breath away. 

Dean moans against your soft pillows, ignores a single tear that runs down your cheek or that your cunt flutters around him.

“You’re mine, my girl,” he demands, hips jerking uncontrollably now. “Never gonna let you go. Just hold tight, baby.”

You grasp for his shoulders, dig your nails deep into his skin when you can’t hold back the approaching high anymore. A wave of pleasure washes over you and for a moment everything is like it should be—until it isn’t. 

His warmth fills you and you remember the way he ended things, right after he fucked you against the wall at his place.

“What if you let me fall?” there is so much fear and pain hidden behind those few words Dean stops moving for a moment. He just looks at you pinned to the wall, bare and vulnerable right in front of him. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Why do you always keep coming back to me?” he nips at your lips, hands wrapping around your back. “Why, baby?”

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years,” you give Dean a sad smile, eyes filled with tears again. “Maybe I’m a masochist and like to get hurt. I don’t know why I let you in over and over again only to get broken.”

“I hate to break it for you, but we have this thing going on for almost six years,” Dean laughs when you punch his shoulder. “Maybe a little longer.”

“I know, dumbass,” you shake your head. “Two years ago, I found a new job and tried to leave town, but then you dragged me back into your life, and since then…”

“You try to escape me and my charming personality…”

“Why are you still here?” looking over your shoulder you wonder why Dean didn’t leave your place like he always does after he got what he wanted. “Isn’t one of your other girls waiting for you?”

“I told you that the girl was there for a job, not to suck my dick,” he kicks his shoes off and drops his shirt to the ground before he unzips his pants. “I want to stay the night.”

“Why?” watching Dean strip his socks off you frown. “Dean, you don’t need to pretend shit, okay. We both know I was just convenient again.” you turn around, not wanting to face the devil again. If you do, he’ll drag you down to hell again.

“Y/N, baby,” he crawls under the covers to press his face into your shoulder, “you’re not convenient to me. I swear, I asked the girl to come to the club for a job. She asked around at my mom’s place and I offered she can take over a few shifts. As a waitress, not for me to… you know…”

“How shall I know?” you hate that his warmth lulls you into safety. And you hate his arms wrap around your waistline even more. “All you do is to bang random chicks at your office. Just like you did with me not an hour ago.”

“You’re not a random chick, Y/N,” oddly Dean clings to you tonight. He burrows his face in your neck, not letting go of you until he feels your breathing even out. “Maybe you are the only girl I ever loved. I was just too afraid to keep you in my life.”

You can’t react to his confession as you are fast asleep. Dean doesn’t care. He needed to get it off his chest. 

“No matter what, you’ll always be mine, sweetheart. Come hell or high water,” he whispers. 

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll give him another chance to prove he’s not the devil, only a lonely man who messed things up years ago.

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog. 

[calltomuster]

Star Wars Fic Recs Part the Fourth

[first fic rec list] [second fic rec list] [third fic rec list]

Been a few weeks since I've done one of these and I've read/reread some great fics recently so let me share them with you now!

And I Fear Nothing by @maiseey (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 11/? chapters, 43.4k words) Picture this: I am sitting in the parking lot of my local grocery store, having just bought a load of perishables. I get the email that And I Fear Nothing has just been updated. What do I do: run home to preserve the food I just paid for, or sit in my car and read the new chapter right away? The answer is obvious, of course! That is exactly the situation I found myself in last week when chapter 11 dropped and I did in fact choose to read it in spite of my groceries, that's how much I love this fic. In this fic, Obi-Wan and Cody are raising Luke and Leia together on Tatooine, and they've got so much trauma, and new + old wounds, and love for each other and the children they're raising that it both warms your heart and tears it apart. But that's not all, this fic expands beyond just the small home in the middle of the Jundland Wastes and explores Ahsoka and Rex and their journey to de-chip as many clones as possible. I love this fic because it doesn't shy away from hard conversations, but it does it in a way that makes you want to cry and give everyone involved a hug. Plus, there are some fantastic minor clone characters that you will 100% want to die for by the time you finish reading. Cannot recommend this fic enough.

Obligate by @communistkenobi (gen, one-shot, 23.9k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka) Just when you thought the Deception arc didn't have enough pain, this AU sees Anakin fake his death instead of Obi-Wan! My heart is physically ripped out of my chest just thinking about this fic, so imagine what it'd do to you actually reading it. Anything @communistkenobi writes is so well-done and I've gone through his works list on AO3 multiple times, but somehow I missed this when it was first posted and it was like a wonderfully delightful surprise when I ran into it the other day. So, so good. Highly recommend!

Moirai by damonkey (gen, WIP, 4/? chapters, 9.2k words, Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon) All I can really say about this fic without giving anything away is that it's a Phantom Menace AU and it's so intriguing. The author is very deliberate in having a vague summary and only tagging as the story progresses, so I truly have no idea what's ahead of me but it's so -- as I said -- intriguing that I'm happy to strap into the ride. Ahhhh I'm skimming through the fic and there are so many things I want to mention but I don't want to give anything away!

Almost Home by @frunbuns (gen, one-shot, 5.2k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) You know, every time I recc a Modern AU I'm like "I don't usually like Modern AUs but..." and then proceed to gush over the fic. I went and checked and I've recced a Modern AU on almost every fic rec list I've made! Maybe I do like Modern AUs?? Or maybe the fics are just that good -- and this fic is definitely that good. In this fic, the first of a planned series of fics set in a modern Star Wars universe, Obi-Wan is reeling from the loss of his adoptive father Qui-Gon and has to care for a young Anakin. Ooooooof. Definitely hits you right in the feels, this one. Love the non-chronological storytelling too!

Naked and Not Paid by biscuitlevitation (Obi-Wan/212th Attack Battalion, WIP, 6/? chapters, 14.9k words) This fic is essentially ~15k words of the clones thirsting over Obi-Wan and it is the funniest thing I have read all year. I'm not kidding, I just read the last chapter which features space-church-lady!Anakin and I laughed so hard I cried. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. I promise you will have a good time reading this fic. And if the tag "Obi-Wan Kenobi/212th Attack Battalion" puts you off, let me just say there's no sex in this at all, it's just thirst. And it's hilarious.

Full Disclosure by @trixree (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 2/3 chapters, 7.4k words) ROTS AU in which the Force bonds Obi-Wan has formed with a few members of the 212th save them from the chip and Order 66, but it doesn't stop the devastation from happening on a mass scale and they all have to try and deal with Mustafar and Luke and Leia. This fic manages to be both extremely soft and extremely gut-wrenching at the same time, and I wish I could leave more kudos. Full disclosure (get it, little pun there for ya), I will be dying until the final chapter comes out. Time to go listen to Olivia Rodrigo and reread this fic and just live in my feels.

Thirteen Days by @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12 (gen, one-shot, 4.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Post-Zygerria arc, Anakin dresses an unconscious Obi-Wan's injuries and struggles. Ahhhh this fic is one of my favorite Zygerria arc fics, and given that that's my favorite arc, that's saying a lot! Obi-Wan doesn't say a word in this fic, but his presence is very much there, if you know what I mean. And the descriptions of injuries here are pretty graphic at times, but it's so good that you'll want to keep reading even if you have to do it through the fingers covering your eyes.

brother, let me be your shelter by @kenobilovebot (gen, one-shot, 1.6k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) This fic packs so much tenderness in a short amount of words. It covers an AU in which Obi-Wan's issues from Zigoola never really resolve, and Anakin finds out when -- well, you'll just have to read for yourself. I love Zigoola because it is such an excellent whumpfest for poor Obi-Wan and this fic is great for that, but also highlights Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship.

A Padawan At War (Again) series by @itstimeforstarwars (gen, 3 parts, 100k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) In this series, Obi-Wan and Anakin are transported from The Phantom Menace into the Clone Wars and have to deal with all that comes with it: fighting wars, discovering a Padawan you never knew you had, dueling your grandmaster who apparently is a Sith Lord now(?!) and all the rest. This series is a great ride, and I look forward to every update. Note: the first fic in this series is a one-shot that was expanded upon, and it drops you in media res. The second fic is a prequel that shows how they got to that point, and the third fic is the sequel that shows what comes after.

The Desert Storm series by @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning (complete, 24 parts, 1.144 million words) There has never been a better time to start reading this series. If you read Star Wars fics on AO3, then you've definitely seen the Desert Storm series before, but maybe you were daunted by the high word count, or felt like it would be too much effort to go all the way to the beginning of a series but couldn't just jump in halfway. Let me tell you, it's 100% worth it, and now is the perfect time to read this series if you haven't already. This series is complete, but it turns out it's all just Act 1 of the larger story, which will continue in the Rise and Fall series. @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning is taking a break right now before starting the next series, so you have ample time to get caught up, and YOU REALLY SHOULD. Let me tell you, this series had me on the edge of my seat more than any other piece of media I can remember. With the most recent chapters, where everything that has been building for a million words came to a head, I would get so worked up after each chapter that beforehand I would have to queue up calming things to watch afterwards, and it still wouldn't be enough and I'd be too full of feelings to get anything done the rest of the day. Seriously, this series is amazing. And if you HAVE read it before but haven't reread, now is the perfect time for that as well. I've reread this series multiple times and it's so rewarding because the author sprinkled in so many hints as to what will come that you only understand the second (or third) time around. I know I've written a lot for this rec but this is a long series and it deserves it. Go read! Now!

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone’s Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

[starlightrows]

8 — The Healer

The Queen of Tatooine Masterlist

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Pairing: Boba Fett x reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: NSFW, Blood and injury, medical, unintentional self inflicted harm, mention of disordered eating (Not graphic, but warnings still apply), oral sex (f receiving)

Summary: You get the chance to start working on a long awaited project, and get in over your head.

A few days later your breakfast with Talece and Mira is interrupted by the head of one of the construction and renovation crews to let you know that the sunless garden space is complete.

You’re so excited you can hardly finish your meal. You find yourself wanting to sprint down the halls to see the room. It takes so much self restraint to compose yourself and walk beside the rather stoic and unbothered construction lead down to the room.

Before the renovation it must have been either a ballroom or a massive storage space. Either way it was not well maintained. It was full of piles and piles of junk that climbed all the way to the ceiling, the floors and the walls were damaged, and it was unusable.

It had been your idea to gut the room and turn it into something usable and unique. You loved having a garden on your homeworld, and since nothing grows on Tatooine due to the excessive heat from the suns and the lack of fertile soil, this seemed like the perfect use for the room.

Boba didn’t have much of an opinion on it either way when you initially pitched him the idea. In all honesty, he was just happy to see how happy it made you. He was quite impressed by your ingenuity creating this room. Artificial sun and moon lighting in real time with the seasons, water reclaimer and distributor so that whatever plant you choose can be watered without wasting it, and holo panels covering the walls to make the entire space look like an enclosed greenhouse.

And when you finally get to look at it, it’s perfect. Rows of raised garden beds, the lighting and holo panels look so real you’re almost sure they misunderstood your directions and just built out a patio instead.

“If there’s anything we missed or not up to your standard let us know, my lady” the foreman tells you

“No no, this is absolutely perfect” you can’t contain the smile on your face “Thank you! Thank you so much, it’s wonderful”

The foreman has to hold back a laugh, you’re practically vibrating, you're so elated. In all his years of doing large scale projects like this, he’s never had a client seem so appreciative.

“I’ll leave you to it my lady” The foreman politely exits the room, leaving you to wander around and admire their handiwork.

As you walk you begin taking notes on your data pad, for what plants and flowers you want to put in which planter boxes. It’ll be a tall order to get all the seeds and plant bulbs delivered here, but once they’re planted and growing, this will be a sight to behold!

You land up spending the entire day in the garden, labeling planter boxes with bits of flimsy tacked on the sides. Talece brought down a tray of food and insisted you eat something, but she also took the time to let you gush about the vegetables you planned to grow and how beautiful the room will be when things begin to bloom.

When you’re too exhausted to stand up straight any longer you make the long trek through the palace back to your room. Only to lay down on the bed with your data pad to begin placing the orders for soil, seeds, bulbs, labels, and plant pots. When you finally power off the data pad, you’re so happy. You can’t wait for Boba to be home so you can show him how amazing it all is.

You hear from Boba a couple days later, he is finally returning to Tatooine, and is “very excited” to see your new projects. He can’t help but smile picturing you squealing with delight as you show him all of your little plants and paintings.

On the same day, your soil and seeds finally arrive at the palace. You almost feel bad for having guards and some of the stronger looking servants help you drag bags of soil down to the garden. You feel less bad because you’ve got your sleeves rolled up to do the heavy lifting too.

Once everything is down there though, you release them to go back to their everyday duties. You get into a rhythm. Slice the seam off a soil bag. Dump into a planter box. Distribute evenly, and rake to till it. Move on to the next planter box.

Hours and hours and hours of this pass. You couldn’t be happier. It reminds you of summers back on your home planet, planting the seeds that would eventually become your fall crops. That would later become your fall meals. Soups and stews thickened with vegetables, roasted root and tubers to go with roasted meat, and gourds to be cooked down into mush to be put into pastries. It’s too hot to have such a need for hearty hot foods like that here on Tatooine. But you still crave them from time to time. It’s one of the only things you miss about your previous home.

As you’re slicing open a bag of soil, thinking about soup, you put in just a little too much force and swipe the blade farther than you expected. At first you don’t really feel it. But then you see the colorful bloom of fresh blood staining your sleeve. You’re stunned for a moment looking at it.

Your hands are covered with dirt. Mind over matter you resist the urge to clamp your dirty hand down over the bloody wound. Instead you calmly stand up and go back to your room. Staring straight ahead, not really able to look at it at the moment.

You get back to your room and know without looking that it is still bleeding but not that bad. I’ve had worse. I’ve had worse. I’ve had worse. You recite to yourself. You start the facet in the fresher and clean your hands, some of the blood has dribbled down your arm into your hand. You scrub it away quickly so you can peel off the shirt.

You take a deep breath and look in the mirror. It’s bloody. But not bad. You figure if you can clean it well and wrap it tightly it’ll be fine. You decide you’re done for today and it might be best if you just clean it in the shower. Perhaps not your best decision, but people make poor choices when they’re in shock.

Eventually you are clean, dry, dressed, and have the wound wrapped in a clean bandage. The shock has finally worn off, leaving you feeling exhausted and in quite a bit of pain. You know you’ve probably pushed yourself a bit too far today, and not just because you got hurt. You didn’t remember to take breaks, drink water, or eat meals at all today. A nasty habit you’re still trying to break.

Tomorrow will be better, you promise yourself. You do the responsible thing and lay down for the rest of the evening, falling asleep to an older episode of one of the shows Boba likes to watch.

In the morning, your whole body is sore and the wound hurts pretty badly. You risk taking a peek at it, the bandage is mostly soaked through but not enough to stain the bedding or your clothes… your clothes from yesterday.

You groan in frustration, blood stains are difficult to remove if you let them set. Sitting up you feel a little dizzy, chalk it up to lack of food and water plus everything that happened yesterday. Today is going to be better, you remind yourself. You start by getting out of bed and drinking a glass of water from the fresher. There you already feel a little better.

Next you search around for your dirty clothes from yesterday. Just as you thought, stained. You decide to run some water in the bathtub and let it soak with soap while you take care of the wound. It’s certainly not a pretty sight, but you muscle your way through it and get it clean once more and wrapped as best you can. It’s not perfect but it will have to do.

Just as you finish up you hear a knock at the bedroom door followed by the door opening on its own. You flinch at the sound. Usually if someone in the palace needs your help they will knock but wait for you to bid them entry or open the door yourself. This can only mean one thing.

“Cyare?” It’s Boba! You turn quickly and dash out of the fresher, leaving the medical supplies on the counter.

“Boba!” You exclaim running into his waiting arms. He snatches you up in a bracing hug and laughs at your enthusiasm.

“I tried to com you last night to tell you I would be home in the morning but you didn’t answer. I figured you were asleep” He explains releasing you from the hug and pressing a kiss to you cheek.

“Oh yeah, I was really tired yesterday. I fell asleep with the holo on” you tell him with a bit of an embarrassed heat creeping up into your cheeks.

“You needed rest, can’t be blamed for that my dear” he assures you, tilting your face up to him to give you a proper kiss on the lips. The kiss deepens, both of you finding that you can’t seem to pull away.

“Stars I missed you” you say quietly when you finally have to break for fresh air

“I missed you too cyare. Let me clean up a bit and we can have some breakfast together” he lets you go completely now. You smile and nod happily. He kisses you one more time, and moves past you to go into the fresher while you go find clothes to wear for the day.

Suddenly Boba is calling your name from the fresher. Your heart fills with dread at the thought of what he’s just seen in there.

“What the hell happened in here? Are you alright?” He begins scanning you up and down with his eyes, zeroing in on the bandage on your arm.

“It’s okay! I’m okay” you assure him, trying to push past and clear away the medical supplies from the counter

He places his hands on his shoulders and spins you around to face him, carefully saying your name again with a warning air about him. His hands stay on your shoulders and he looks you in the eye when he asks again. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing really, I cut myself opening a bag of soil yesterday” you explain

He sighs and shakes his head “And what did the healer say?”

“I… I didn’t see a healer” you admit sheepishly

“What? Why not?” He’s appalled and a little frustrated

“I didn’t think it was necessary, I’ve had worse before” you realize his shock and frustration is not unfounded, any rational person probably would have spoken to a healer about this.

“Had worse? And you handled it yourself? Cyare, that is a serious injury” He says, as if repeating it would get you to understand the severity of the situation.

“Boba… I wasn’t welcome to visit the healer on my homeworld. I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask for help” Suddenly you feel guilty and a little defensive “I don’t… I don’t know how to do that when I’m in trouble. I didn’t even think about it”

Then he understands. Of course you wouldn’t think to ask for help when you hurt yourself. Because you’ve been conditioned to think you would not get it if you asked. He has to remind himself that he too used to struggle with asking for assistance, and it’s something that he needs to be understanding about in this relationship.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry cyare, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you” he apologizes “I was just worried when I saw the bloody clothing and used medical supplies. I know you did your best with what you had at the moment. But now you’re not in danger, and we have the resources to have a healer that will actually help you. May I call someone to come look at it?”

You nod in acceptance and let him guide you back out into the main living space in your quarters. He sits you down in a chair, and asks that you just sit and relax for a couple minutes while he steps outside to give instructions to a guard or staff member.

He instructs a guard to go into Mos Eisley and bring back a healer, and a second guard to instruct the kitchen staff to bring a pitcher of hot water as well as breakfast. A few moments later there’s a gentle knock at the door. Boba calls for them to enter, and Mira comes forward bringing the pitcher of water and a tray laden with tea, toast, and eggs cooked the way you like them. She has a look of horror on her face as she sees Boba tending to your injured arm, and you cringe thinking back to your conversation with her the other day.

But Boba doesn’t seem to notice at all, “Thank you Mira, we might need more water if the healer asks for it later”

She gives a shaky curtsy and small voiced “Of course, my lord. My lady” before quickly leaving the room.

“So” Boba gives you a look “Cut yourself opening a bag of soil aye? Does that mean your fancy garden is finished?”

“Yes” you smile a little shyly, knowing that if he gets you talking about it you won’t shut up for the next half an hour at least

“Go on then, tell me everything” he encourages you, because more than anything, he missed hearing you gush about things you care about while he was traveling.

As you eat your breakfast you tell him about your new painting studio and the garden and all the plants you’ve ordered. Which things have arrived, which things you’re still waiting for. You tell him the truth about yesterday, that you had been at it for hours and your hand just slipped when you hurt yourself.

“Accidents happen cyare” he reminds you “I just want you to be more careful”

Just then there is another knock at the door, Boba calls for them to enter. The guard he sent into town has returned with the healer, and you’re surprised to see that you recognize him.

“It’s you, hello again” you greet him.

The man looks a little stunned. When you had asked him to make a remedy for chemical burn scars, you had said it was for your partner, not the kriffing king!

“Y-yes… nice to see you again… um… What seems to be the problem?” he asks, struggling to get his bearings.

Boba takes the liberty of explaining your injury to the healer, and invites him to come take his place so he can examine the wound and assess if it needs further treatment. While the healer works Boba excuses himself to remove his armor and get cleaned up in a different room of the palace. But he leaves two guards to watch over you. When Boba’s gone the healer looks up at you.

“You didn’t tell me your partner was the kriffing king” he hisses as he unwraps the bandage

“That was intentional” you explain “I can’t just go broadcasting to the entire city what my business is”

“Yeah but you might have mentioned it” he grumbles “would have charged you more”

He takes a look at your wound and takes on a look of concentration and disappointment

“What?” you ask with a touch of worry in your voice

“This needs stitches and bacta. You should have come to me or another healer immediately” he chastises you

“Hey, I did my best okay. And if you’re going to get mouthy can I at least know your name so I know who to curse in my mind when you stitch me up?” You bite back

“Darius” he replies “And you can curse me all you like, but you’ll thank me later when this heals without an ugly scar”

“Fine” you relent and let him get to work recleaning and stitching up the wound.

By the time Boba returns Darius has the wound rewrapped and is writing out instructions to keep it clean on a spare bit of flimsi. Darius gets markedly more tense when Boba is in the room, clearly he’s more intimidated by Boba than he is by you. He hands you the piece of flimsi and reminds you to be more careful next time before hastily departing the room with guards escorting him. Boba sends the breakfast tray out as well, finally giving you both some privacy.

“Now then, I believe I promised you a reward last we spoke” he leans forward to kiss the sensitive spot just behind your ear.

You hum in contentment as he continues kissing down your neck.

“Have you been a good girl while I’ve been gone?” he purrs

“Yes” you say with a little gasp and he sucks a particularly pleasant spot

“Go lay down for me” he pulls away from your neck and nods his head towards the bed. You get up quickly and toss the pillows up to the head of the bed and lay back.

He crawls up the bed slowly, pushing your legs apart at the knees dipping down to start a trail of kisses leading up and over your thigh. He breezes right past your needy pussy and instead continues kissing over your hips, and across to your tummy.

“You were so good for me on the com” he murmurs, dragging his nose across your skin, down from your belly button to top of your mound. He’s looking up at your pretty face, wanting to see every expression cross it.

Without blinking an eye, pushes his tongue between your lips and licks a broad stripe up, already tasting your arousal. He continues, slowly stroking you with his tongue up and down, up and down, up and down.

You can’t help it, you start squirming. It feels amazing, but his slow pace is driving you wild. Normally Boba might be a little mean and make you stay still, but it’s been too long and he’s loving watching you writhe in pleasure.

He maintains his long strokes but begins increasing his speed. Finally working an audible moan out of your chest. He switches tactic and pauses mid stroke, and begins fluttering his tongue just barely inside your dripping hole.

“Fuck!” You whimper trying to force yourself not to buck your hips into his mouth.

He knows you’re getting close and he knows just what to get you to the finish line, he makes one more broad stroke with his tongue and stops at the top of his path and latches onto your clit. Suckling and circling the swollen bud with his talented tongue.

Your whole body tensed with such force that you’re sure you might have pulled a muscle and moan in ecstasy as you cum on his face. Boba doesn’t stop, he continues to lap up your release all the way through your orgasm. When you’re finally laying back boneless with your eyes closed, breathing heavily he pulls away kissing back up your belly with feather light pressure until he’s hovering over you, kissing your neck and waiting for you to feel ready to open your eyes again.

Eventually you do open your eyes again, and place your hand on the back of his head to guide him away from your neck. He follows your direction and comes back down to kiss your lips.

“That was one hell of a reward” you say with a breathy laugh

“What can I say? I’m a man of my word” he shrugs laying down beside you

“You certainly are” you smile “I’m really glad you’re back”

“You really did miss me” he chuckles

“Of course I did! I love getting to talk to you about the garden and my painting and my projects. And I really missed getting to relax with you at night. And I love watching your weird holo dramas and hearing about your clients and having dinner with you. I just love… you” you find yourself admitting

He reached out, cradling your face in his hand, stroking your cheek with his thumb “I love you too cyare. I missed you dearly while I was gone. Thought about you every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep”

Your heart soars hearing him say that. It’s easy to fall in love. Day in and day out, it just happens. It’s hard to admit you’re in love. You have to find the words to explain to someone why they are the most important person in your life and they give you unending joy even when you’re not right next to them. But with Boba it’s easy. It’s easy to be in love and it’s easy to say it.

“I love you”

Tag List: @cannedsoupsucks​ @otterly-fey​ @paige6768​  @littledragonlady​ @star-hoes​ @aeryntheofficial​ @xx-small-town-witch-xx​ @lokigirlszendaya​ @ladysongmaster​ @2clones-1kamino​ @cagrame​ @ashbyrhymer​ @adancedivasmom​ @4rosydreams​ @heybub​ @thefact0rygirl​ @elinedjarin

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Wilfords Demands: Simple As That

Summary- 7.3k Curtis Everett x You. Realization of your predicament really sinks in, but Curtis wont simply let that happen. Wilford seems happy to extend the deal, after all Curtis is his favorite fighter, always has been. Confident that things wont be as bad as they could be, you and Curtis settle into preparing for the new child. Divider made by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- talks of pregnancy, hint of possible abortion (a sentence), smut. 18+ Only. 

A/N- I can’t claim to know anything about pregnancy except what research has informed me. So descriptions will be vague and probably not accurate. 

Chapter 4 / Wilfords Demands Masterlist

“Then my Dear, you better encourage Curtis to win.” 

Those words sunk deep as you looked into Wilfords cold ice-sharp eyes, the way he was grinning as if this was a game. But it wasn't a game, this was your life, Curtis's life and ultimately the new life growing inside of you right now.

And right now it was better to stay with the devil you knew. Your hands flew to your still flat stomach, pressing it lightly while gasping out. 

“But I'm pregnant, with Curtis’s child. You can’t give me to another while raising his child.” You pointed out, hoping that the facts would be on your side in this. 

Wilford pulled back with a hearty laugh that made you feel sick, wanting to vomit hearing it. Claude to snickered at you as if you were to stupid to understand. Your confused look clouded your face. 

“Girl, you think you get to keep that baby? No woman like you gets to keep them.” Wilford wiped under his eyes to clear the tears. You could feel the blood ringing in your ears now as panic settled in your chest. 

“You are going to take away my baby?” 

“Of course you stupid bitch, you all are not fit to be mothers. Other more capable women will take them, raise them.” Claude snapped out gleefully at your distress. Wilford leaned forward giving you what was supposed to be a comforting pat on the hand, which you pulled back to your chest out of his reach. 

“Girl, you will birth that child and give him up to us. I might even keep this one for myself. If Curtis wins. I only keep winners. I expect you to be good to whoever gets to claim you after the tournament.” He shifted to a stand, putting his chair back. You were in too much shock to even comprehend what Claude and Wilford were saying to one another. 

“Ah, Claude, you better take her back to Curtis. The pretty thing seems to be in shock.” Wilford sighed a bit. “If she wasn't a tail ender, I would keep her for myself. She is a lovely thing. I'm sure Curtis will do his best to keep her.” 

You just stared ahead now while Claude pulled you to a stand with a mutter. “It is a shame Sir. But you don't really want to lower yourself to that.” 

All of this was just mumbled nonsense to you, still rolling over what they said earlier, neither you nor Curtis were going to get to keep the baby. 

Heading back towards the rooms, Claude paused you at the door and gave a nod to have it unlocked. 

Curtis had been pacing the room. To watch him was like the large cats in the zoo, coiled muscles back and forth pacing, snarls of frustration escaping at his predicament. The creak of the door made him pause though and you stepped through, your arms wrapped around your midsection and a blank look on your face. That scared him. And when the door slammed shut behind you, you flinched and blinked suddenly realizing where you were. 

“Y/N? Say something.” Curtis finally broke the silence, crossing the room to grasp your forearms, looking for another reaction from you. Anything to snap you out of the silence. 

You blinked a few more times and opened your mouth to say something but the words seem to be stuck somewhere. 

Curtis drew you to sit on the edge of the bed and lowered next to you waiting. Finally you looked at him, drawing in a breath. 

“There's a tournament? And I'm the prize?” You asked it like a question, still disbelieving. Curtis’s face darkened with a nod. 

“Yes. It's a gladiator style tournament once a year. I swear Y/N, I'm not going to lose and let anyone else have you. It’s why I have been training so hard.” He shifted in closer and let his hand rest on your thigh, squeezing lightly. “I have been training for these tournaments for years.” 

You looked down at his hand and studied it a moment, his knuckles were thick with scar tissue, some still busted from use. Fingers dug slightly into your thigh, as if holding you to him in case anyone tried to take you. 

Hands of someone who lived a hard life, but managed to be gentle on you most the time. You knew you would have to tell him the next part. This you didn't know how to deal with. It should have been joyful news, but it was so tainted by the situation. “I'm also pregnant, several weeks now. Did you know… when you got me pregnant that I wouldn't be keeping the child?” You cleared your throat a bit. 

Curtis withdrew his hold on you, flexing his hand. “Y/N… I never was sure but I suspected. The other women I had with me, I never saw them again. I don't know what happened to them or if they were allowed to keep their children.” His shoulders hunched. “But you… Wilford told me you were going to stay. He told you specifically that he would be taking it away?” 

You swallowed and pulled back into the bed, to use the wall as support, your legs stretched out before you and your hands resting on your stomach. 

“He did, he plans on taking it as soon as I give birth.“ You say darkly, already feeling protective and deep sadness that you wouldn't be able to prevent this. 

Unless… the idea was so dark, it made your stomach churn. 

Curtis was quiet for that moment watching you, worried at how quiet you had turned. He made a move to touch you and you withdrew from him. 

“Please don’t… just this once.” You asked and Curtis for the first time withdrew from you and moved to the chair at the table, rubbing a hand over his head. 

Any other time this happened, it didn't mean much to him except that his current charge was leaving. But to hear that you had his baby growing inside you made conflicting feelings. Part of him was thrilled, for whatever reason he wanted to see you grow and need him. To cradle his child to your chest and whisper sweet nothings. Warming his bed and filling his life. 

The dread followed close on that feeling, because nothing good ever happened on the train. Even if he won, you were still going to lose the child. And Curtis didn't think he could handle that pain, but more importantly, that you couldn't handle it. Pushing to a stand, he pounded on the locked door. Hard enough for you to jump “Curtis, what are you doing?” The door opened once more. 

“I need to see Wilford.” 

The guard shook his head. “Not till your appointed time.” Curtis surged forward, pushing the man back into the hallway wall and fisted his hand in his gear to lift him off his feet, snarling out. 

“I need to see Wilford now.” 

Let him come. Came a cackle in a walkie and Curtis let him go.

He didn’t look back as your panicked voice called to him once again. “CURTIS! What are you doing?” You were trying to untangle from the bed when the door slammed shut, the last view Curtis had of you was your look of confusion and panic. 

Without a word, Curtis was escorted back to Wilford’s. Being let in, Curtis didn't even hesitate as he brushed past Claude, who huffed in annoyance. “Asshole.” 

“You can’t take her child.” 

Wilford was standing up in the engine. “Isn't she just beautiful Curtis? Every part of her has a function that keeps us alive and moving. I’ve worked so hard to keep her running so smoothly” Curtis went up the steps into the hellish thing, not finding the beauty that Wilford seemed to be admiring. 

“Let her keep the baby.” He started again, clenching his hands at his sides to keep from grabbing Wilford. He knew if he did Claude would shoot him in two seconds, but the urge not to snap the man's neck burned through him.  

Wilford finally broke from whatever he was admiring and turned sharply to ascend down the steps, leaving Curtis standing there. “You two can just make more Curtis. Why this time? You never cared before what happened to the women or children.” 

“Because Y/N is staying with me, you take away that child and you will destroy a part of her.” 

“Make her easier to handle then wouldn't it? No fight left.” 

Curtis growled a bit. “She isn't a problem now Wilford.” 

“Listen, I’m not an unreasonable man. You win, you keep it all. The girl, the baby. We will change the terms of your contract. You Curtis were always one of my favorites. If it makes you happy, then I can give you this.” Wilford finally said, acting as if he was doing Curtis a favor by the way he spoke to him.

“What's the catch? If I lose?” Curtis asked knowing there would be more and Wilford shrugged. 

“Then you lose it all Curtis, just like always.” Wilford stated, snapping his fingers to have the guard come back in waiting for Curtis. “She belongs to the champion, she will lose the child and the terms of her contract with you will pass to whomever gets to claim her. Like I told your little Sweetheart, don’t mess up if you want to keep her with you that badly.” 

Curtis glowered at him, straightening to his full height. “I don't plan on it.” 

Wilford looked nothing but joyful and calculating. “Just what I wanted to hear.” 

After that Curtis was directed to leave the engine, the steel door slamming in his face. 

There is no other choice, not that there was much of one before going into the ring ever. If Curtis was to keep you safe, he was going to have to win. With that resolve, he went back to find you curled up on the bed, knees pulled up, arms hugging around yourself. As if you were trying to fold in on yourself and escape. Lifting your head when you heard the door open, Curtis could see the relieved sigh that escaped you. Your tension loosening in your hold as you shifted to sit at the edge of the bed. “What happened?” 

“I just talked to Wilford.” He made his way to the chair at the table, easing down in it for a minute while the silence stretched between you two. 

When Curtis leaned down to untie his boots, you ventured with your next question. Playing with your fingers. “About the child? Curtis if they take me away…” Your voice drifted, cracking a bit at the thought even passing your mind, let alone saying it. “Maybe it's just better that this baby doesn't come, you know? Maybe it's best to just-” 

Curtis immediately snapped his head up, eyes blazing in anger as he barked out sharply. “Don’t even go there Y/N. You and that baby are not going anywhere.” 

You quieted for a moment, looking down at your hands after his raise of his voice and you heard Curtis curse from his seat, moving to grasp your chin and make you look up at him. “Trust me okay Y/N. I'm not going to lose.” 

You wanted to, you could see the resolve in his gaze as he made you look at him. 

This sadness that was all over your face pained Curtis and he wanted nothing more than to take it away. His grasp loosened slightly on your chin, your eyes still uplifted to bore into his, but you made no move to pull away from him. He did what he could only think of to do, lowering his head, his rough lips pressed gently against yours and his hands sliding to cup your face. You were so soft in his hard life. 

This time Curtis didn't demand you to open for him, he waited, the top of his tongue tracing the seam to be allowed in. The action spun your head, and immediately the tickle enticed your lips apart, allowing him to tangle his tongue with yours. Pressing you back as Curtis continued forward, you fell back into the mess of the bed, Curtis moving over you while never breaking the kiss till you had to pull away to draw in a breath. But he didn't stall, bringing his mouth down to your jawline and the curve of your neck, pressing his knee in between your thighs so he could slot his hips there to press his weight over you. 

A while ago you learned how pointless it was to fight against him and now at this point maybe you no longer wanted to. He could give you mindless pleasure, let you forget the mess of your existence for just a few moments if you just let him. Curtis’s fingers expertly plucking away at the ties of your pants and drawing them down, muttering for you to lift yourself which you listened to, raising your hips under him while dragging your palms to brace against his back, digging in your fingers through the layers of his clothing to hold onto him. 

“Do you promise Curtis? I don't care what happens to me anymore. But this baby, Wilford cant have. Please promise me.” You gasped slightly under him as you felt his fingers start to stroke you, seeking for you to open once more for him. Arousal pooling with each expert touch heated you to a warmth that couldn't be found any other way. He dragged your shirt over your head, kissing against the top of your breasts and drawing a nipple into his mouth to suck between his teeth while you started to wither at the sensations he was drawing out of you. 

“I promise Y/N, you just focus on growing our baby, m’kay?” He grunted as his hand covered your fluttering belly, not yet round or even showing. But knowing it was in there and for once he was going to get to see it all happen stirred something in Curtis. Something he never wanted or cared for before. Flicks of his tongue traced around your nipples, the warmth of his mouth was such a contrast to the coolness in the air, it drew out these soft little gasps that delighted the man. 

Your hips started to rock into his hand while he started to finger you, stroking velvet walls while he lifted his head to watch your reactions. Always so expressive, you fisted your hands in his shirt while your head tilted into the pillows with a soft whimper, knowing that you were close. Curtis was rewarded when your eyes glazed over and warmth flooded his hand while you clamped around him. “Good Girl, don't hold back.” He praised you while tilting down to kiss you slowly, swallowing the aftermath of your orgasm, the tiny whimpers of his name and your pleas for him to finish. 

How badly you wanted him to finish in you now. 

Curtis pulled back to yank his shirt off and shove his pants down enough to release his cock, stroking himself over you. Your eyes lowered to watch him and for the first time ever, you reached to wrap your hand around his length. “Oh shit Y/N.” His voice stuttered when you squeezed slightly. He hunched over you, falling to his elbow while you pressed him between your swollen folds, looking up at him with a bite to your lip. 

“Promise me Curtis.” 

Blue eyes that were once so damn harsh and cold towards you simmered heatedly. You didn't know how you could ever think of them as cold as they sharpened with desire. Curtis pressed his forehead to yours for a moment, whispering. “On my life Y/N.”  

You gave a slight nod at his answer and his mouth pressed against yours as he started to press into you. The stretch had you gasping though, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him down to press your mouth back to his, his hands held onto the side of your head as he started rocking his hips, dragging himself in deep to the place only he has ever been. Dragging against your sensitive walls, you wrapped yourself around him while placing kisses against his mouth, gasping whenever he dropped his weight on you and speared back into your heat. 

With everything going on, you let yourself enjoy being with him. The push and pull, the feel of his heavier body pressing yours into the bedding beneath. His heavy length filling you till you were clamping around him to keep him there. 

Your fingers curled into his neck, twisting into the short hairs at the back of his head, and Curtis continued pressing harder grunting kisses against your shoulder, his hands curling around under your arms and grasping your shoulders to hold you close as his hips ground into you, his pelvis pressing against your clit. 

The rush of it all, the feeling of him kissing you so passionately while he kept claiming you to spiral under him was so much. A cold fire in your belly and the flutters in you turned to clamping, trying to hold him to you while you came. 

“That's right sweet girl, just let it happen.” He grunted once more when your body under him locked, twitching as you dug into the back of his neck and your knees gripped his hips to rock with him. His hand loosened on your shoulder and pressed between your bodies, his palm slightly pressing against your stomach to feel how full you were from him and then fell between your bodies to rub your clit to bring you to arousal again. 

“Curtis-” You whined and he nudged your head back, sucking on your neck, pressing faster. 

“One more, that's it. I know it feels good.” He hissed feeling you buck underneath him. “Feel s’good, right?” 

You nodded your head hurriedly while he played you so expertly, all those other times he had grown to learn what made you wither and whine for him, the only man to ever make you feel like this. Which after the stress of the day, you needed to go mindless. “So-so good.” 

Nip of teeth with a touch of his tongue, had you arching, the room filled with the harsh sounds of his body colliding with yours and the squeak of the mattress underneath you. Your toes curled and you sobbed out, dropping your hand to cover your mouth to keep your orgasm from bouncing off the metal walls, but he jerked your hand down, filling your mouth with his tongue. Harsh thrusts turned to grind out his own release, warmth flooding you in an all to familiar pleasure. 

You dug fingers into his shoulders and dragged him over you, quivering underneath him while pressing your face into his chest, willing your heart to start to slow while his rat-a-tat-tat rapidly in his own chest, deep inhales expanding his chest and pushing you into the mattress while he gasped for air. Curtis went to move, but you clutched tighter. “Dont, please not yet.” 

Reaching underneath him, he pushed to an elbow and fisted his hand in your hair gently to pull your head away to look up at him. “I'm not, just be patient Y/N.” 

Curtis eased down enough so he wasn't smothering you, but could lay his head on your chest, his arms looped around your midsection. His hips kept your thighs pinned underneath him and his belly pressed against your waist, keeping you under him. 

“Soon I won't be able to lay like this on you, you know.” He pointed out after a few minutes and you slipped your hand tentative over his scalp and along the back of his neck. Another first he thought to himself while he closed his eyes to enjoy the way you were willingly touching him. 

“I know… I actually never knew I liked the way it felt.” You admitted, having always pulled away from him before after they finished. 

Curtis didn’t either, sex had always been a means to an end, there was no intimacy really in it for him. It was a necessity to survive, so he never allowed himself to enjoy it like this, it was simply good in the moment and when it was over, it was over. It never really occurred to him that it could be this simple moment of bliss. But feeling the softness of your body just cradle him so easily, your warmth envelops him into a lull of relaxation. Well, maybe he could get used to feeling this way. 

Feeling this way with you. 

“Curtis… I have to get up.” You said after a while with what he hoped was regret in your voice. Planting his hands against the mattress, he pulled himself off to lay at the side while you shifted out from under him to sit on the edge of the bed and reach down to grab something to cover yourself with. 

“Why do you do that? Cover yourself?” He asked, while you slipped the shirt over your head so that it pooled down around your thighs. You glanced over your shoulder, where he laid stretched out, comfortable in his own skin. 

“Why wouldn't I? It's not like I'm anything special Curtis. Also it's safer in the tail end to not get noticed.” You said while pulling to a stand and disappearing in the bathroom. Curtis frowned to himself, he could understand not getting noticed, but the other he couldn't agree with. He was still genuinely surprised that you were a virgin when you were brought to him. 

When you came back out, running your hands over your shirt and moving to crawl back in the bed, Curtis reached over and grasped your chin in his forefinger and thumb. “That's not true Y/N.” 

You blinked at him wide eyed, confused in such an innocent way. The corners of his mouth tugged a bit seeing you blink at him owlishly. “What's not true?” You wriggled into the dip in the mattress you had left earlier. 

“You claim you're not anything special. You are beautiful Sweetheart. Especially now that your health is returning. I'm not the only one to notice.” His fingers loosened and trailed along your cheeks that were filling out and were always so warm against his fingertips. 

You huffed a bit and your eyes went downcast while settling back in the bedding. “I don't know if that is a good thing.” You wrinkled your nose and Curtis reached over to let his hand settle on your stomach. 

“You are not going anywhere.”

First Trimester

Changes started so subtly. One morning your stomach turned at the sight of eggs Curtis brought that had you sprinting to the bathroom and over the toilet. You grasped the sides as you gagged over it, and Curtis cussed while placing the tray down, following you in to stand behind you, pulling hair back and rubbing your back. Once you stopped gasping and fell back to sit on your ankles, he let go of you and went to the bathroom sink to fill a cup with some water for you to clear your mouth with. Taking it, you swished some water and spat it out before handing it back to Curtis. “Thank you.” 

“What was it?” He questioned while giving the cup a rinse and reached down to help you to stand. 

“Uhh, the eggs maybe?” You took a deep breath just thinking about it and felt your stomach roll again while moving to the sink and grabbed the tooth brush. 

“Want me to get rid of them?” 

“Can you Curtis?” 

He gave a smile and rubbed your back once before exiting the bathroom, giving you some privacy. Going back out, you saw the offending pile of eggs was gone. Alot of it was trial and error. You soon learned that you had a constant craving for milk as well, which Curtis was sure to start adding to all the meals he brought you. 

You craved back rubs and shoulder rubs, which Curtis was good at you found out. As well as being so tired. All the time. You took several naps throughout the day, which at first you apologized for. Curling up in bed to sit whenever Curtis caught you dozing off. One day with a sketch pad stretched out before him, making lazy swipes with his pencil, he gave a shake of his head. “Sleep. You have to listen to your body and right now you are growing a person, no wonder you are tired.” When you started to protest by throwing the blankets off you, Curtis gave you a hard stare till you sunk back down, blinking back at him. 

“You are being serious.” 

“Aren't I always Y/N? Finish your nap.” He said curtly and went back to his sketch. The sun heated through the glass and the beams fell over you, lulling you back to sleep. When you woke up later, Curtis was gone. But his notepad was left, which when you got up, you leaned over it to see what he had been working on. 

A sketch of you stretched out in bed, your hair falling around your sleeping face. You could tell he had been practicing his shading as he did it from several angles, and one where you had rolled to your hip, sure to focus on your hand pressing against the slight bump you had.

When he came back, Curtis would offer to take you around the train as long as you weren't tired. At first you declined, worried about further run-ins with people like Grey, New Years Eve not far from your mind. But the more times he offered and you grew restless, you took him up on the offer. 

The greenhouse car was one you always looked forward to, the natural lighting in it for the vegetation soaking into your body, the air felt fresh from the plants and you would wander the aisles to attempt to learn from the greenhouse workers what they were growing. Curtis simply watched as you started to get braver, ask questions and help with the weeding, just wanting to feel the dirt. 

One day you two were sitting under the trees, Curtis nodding off in the warmth, and you were reading a new book out loud to him when you eased the book shut. 

“Curtis? I need some water.” You mentioned and his eyes snapped open, pulling himself up to sit. You would have just gone yourself to get it, but you knew he wouldn't allow that. So you stayed there while he pushed to a stand. 

“How about a snack to? You haven't eaten much today and I saw them picking the cherry tomatoes when we first came in.” He inquired. 

Giving a nod, he soon dipped out of the aisle to get what you asked for and you tilted your head back to relax against the tree trunk. But your peaceful moment was short lived. A shadow passed over you and a snickering voice taunted you to spring your eyes open and pull your legs back. “Well well well, Curtis left his little pet to wander around all alone?” Grey moved to a squat in front of you, a few of his friends crowding around behind him, all leering down at you while you tried to shrink away. Your tongue swelled up, unable to speak. When Grey reached a hand out to touch you, you pulled further away. 

“Don’t.” You finally were able to say, causing him to jerk his head back and laugh deeply at your attempt to put space between you two. 

“Oh you shouldn't be scared of me, I was your friend on New Years remember? Curtis is the one who beat you, not me.” 

You folded your arms around your legs to hold yourself away from him, but Grey wasn't allowing you to shrink away too much, his hand moving to touch your knee, grinning at the way you jerked. “Don't touch me.” 

Grey shuffled closer, the men behind him closing in further till the space of the greenhouse seemed to no longer exist. 

“You're like a little unsoiled dove, so innocent in all this. I promise you though once I take you, you won't be able to play this act anymore.” Grey said coldly, his gaze glinting with promise as it raked over your face. He was close enough to feel his hot sour breath washing over your face. 

The tension stretched between you two and you felt like you were going to snap when a low deep voice came from behind. “Step the fuck back from her.” The group parted enough to show Curtis striding closer the handful of cherry tomatoes in his palm crushed to drip the juices and seeds from between his fingers and the tin cup of water sloshing over the edge as he sped up, pushing past the others to grasp the back of Grey's collar and fling him back. Grey easily straightened, pulling an innocent look as Curtis moved to block you from them. You scrambled to get up, using the back of his shirt to pull yourself to a stand and stay behind him. A barrier between you and Grey. 

“I thought I told you not to go near her again?” Curtis’s rage was laced in his tone and Grey shrugged a bit. 

“Just saying hello Curtis, I missed seeing your girl since the party.” You eased around Curtis a bit and Grey caught sight of you, aiming a wink towards you. “Till next time Y/N.” 

You pressed in behind Curtis, your gaze looking down the aisle to see members of the greenhouse take interest. From afar it would appear to be just a passing of words, and the tremors going through Curtis told you how he was holding back from attacking Grey. If he did, it would all seem unprovoked, Curtis words and yours against Grey and his crowd. It wouldn't end good for Curtis. 

Curtis watched long enough to make sure they were out of sight and turned swiftly towards you, wiping his hand against his jacket till the tomato residue was off his palms and touched your face afterwards, tilting you to look up at him. “He didn’t touch you did he?” 

A firm shake no answered him and he offered the mug of water which you tilted back to calm your nerves and moisten your mouth. “No Curtis, not really.” 

“Son of a bitch.” He clenched his hand at his side, looking over his shoulder again and you reached to press your hand to his chest, bringing his focus back on you. 

“Let’s just leave here, please?” Last thing you wanted was Curtis’s anger to sit with him the rest of the day. 

He took a deep breath to let it settle in his chest before turning to you blinking up at him and part of him softened. “Come on… Got somewhere else you might like to see.” Wrapping an arm around you, you followed along with him as you two made your way out of the gardens aisle. Your fingers played at his sleeve nervously as you glanced behind once more, but Grey was nowhere to be seen. The silver train door whooshed and crossed into another threshold. Once it closed behind you, you turned your focus to the area Curtis had taken you. 

It was filled with wild greenery, and the echoes of songbird calls bounced off the towering glass of the train's ceiling. Your lips split into a grin when you stepped from Curtis hold, your gaze lifted to see brilliant colored birds darting around one another. “I remember coming through here when I was brought to the front, what is its purpose?” 

“An aviary, the last birds on earth that we know of.” Curtis informed you, his head tilting back to look up in the treetops crowding against the glass of the train, straining for freedom that would forever be denied them from growing to their full size.

Curtis watched your child like wonder as birds filtered down to land on you, tiny trills and warbles inquiring as they inspected you. You stretched out your arms for other curious birds, hoping down to peck at your palm looking for food. You happened to giggle with the ticklish feeling and to Curtis it was far better then all the songbirds in the aviary. 

You were such a light in Curtis’s life now. These kinds of moments where you seemed to forget that you were held against your will but found a reason to laugh, your eyes bright when they looked at him and you danced into a small circle, the birds lifting off of you in a flurry of cries and wings, so you could come back to him excitedly. Curtis couldn't believe that he once saw you as a job, something he had to tolerate. 

Now he didn't want anyone else sharing his space with him. 

“There were so many Curtis! I didn't know there could be that many on the train…” Your hands fluttered back and forth with your words, rambling about how much you loved the moment, thanking Curtis for bringing you when he cupped your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks and his eyes bright while looking at you. It paused you in surprise as his head lowered against yours and pressed his mouth against yours. This was a different kiss then any he's given you before. 

But this was a gentleness that was asking permission, his hold cradling and gentled, slightly rough lips easily pressing against yours and the tip of his tongue just swiping as in a way of saying ‘Please?’ 

Your hands braced against his chest and slid around behind him, allowing him to swipe in and roll his tongue with yours, pulling you in closer to him till your body was flushed with his own, his hold sliding from your cheeks and sliding down your back. When the two of you parted, foreheads leading against one another, panting slightly. 

That kiss simply took the air from your lungs and you could feel it meant something more this time. 

More than being forced together or trying to comfort. This one had something behind it. Part of it scared you that maybe this man meant more to you then he had before. 

Second Trimester

You sat on the edge of the bed, a hand braced against the curve of your stomach, waiting. Curtis was nearby, nose in a book but he noticed that you had moved up to sit. A curious glance looked over the spine of the book. “Whats going on?” He questioned as you sighed a bit, sliding your hand to another spot, scrunching your nose. 

“He was just moving, I swear he was getting ready to kick.” you looked down at your now protruding belly, rolling your shirt up enough to slide your palm against it. “But feels like he has settled down.” Curtis chuckled softly and set the book aside on the table, moving to kneel on the floor before you and ease his hand around the sides, exploring for himself. 

“That's because he's decided to treat his mama well.” 

You snort a bit and roll your eyes. “More like he's saving it for tonight when I'm trying to sleep.” 

Curtis smirked a bit, and rested his hands against your thighs, winking at you. “Well he does take after his dad.” 

You shoved at his shoulder with a scoff, leaving Curtis laughing heartily while falling back to rest on his ankles looking up at you. Moments like these he seemed so boyish, his laugh was genuine and rare. But the longer you two lived together, the more you got to hear it. It was a pleasant sound, one that seemed to make you forget for a moment that you two were stuck together in a glorified prison. “We keep calling him he, do you think he is a he?” 

Curtis shrugged a bit. “Honestly, boy or girl doesn't matter to me. But yea...I think it's a boy. Just feels right when I think of seeing him for the first time.” He admitted admiring the glimpse of skin showing where your shirt had ridden up. 

It was also easier letting him see more of you. It probably helps that during your pregnancy, you had cravings. Serious cravings. 

Which even now started to curl in your lower belly and clench your thighs slightly under his hands that still rested against them. He felt it and arched a curious brow as you shyly looked away as if distracted. But he knew, he shuffled in closer and slid his palms warmly back up to your belly. “You know you just have to ask.” 

Caught. You knew you were caught and you shifted slightly, twisting your fingers together. “I don't wanna ask though. I mean it's not like your job to have to anymore.” 

“Y/N- will you just lay back? You want it and I don't mind giving it.” He instructed, pressing you to lay back on the bed, leaving your legs dangling over the edge of the bed. His hands grasped in the band of your shorts and started to draw them down to leave your lower half naked and you folded your hands together to rest on your stomach, looking down your body to watch Curtis. 

“You may not mind, but I still don't want you to feel like you gotta.” You rambled on as he brushed his chin against the top of your thighs to nudge them apart and drew one leg up over his shoulder, brushing a kiss to the inside of your knee. “Your damn kid is making me horny, but I have other ways to handle it whenever-” 

Curtis rolled his eyes in amusement to your rambling. Honestly he would be happy taking care of you like this, seeing you pregnant was driving him crazy with want. Knowing he made you need him so much, be able to take care of you and see you satisfied in his bed. Right now nothing was better than seeing you post orgasm bliss. You were still going on above him, but he stopped listening, his goal now to make you forget about feeling guilty for wanting him. Flushing kisses up your thigh and he brought the other one over his shoulder, he heard his name while he dragged the tip of his nose through your curls and to your folds that were starting to glisten with arousal. 

“Are you listening, Curtis?” you voiced above him and he snickered a bit while spreading your folds apart and lapping along your quivering cunt, hearing your question turn into a gentle moan. 

“I was, but now I'm not Darling, because honestly eating you out is my main priority right now.” He lapped again, sucking on your outer folds and was rewarded with another gasp above him and your hand falling to his head, curling your fingers against his scalp. 

“Do that again?” You breathed out and you felt his tongue curl through you once more, just making you pulse and arousal seep from you that he was quick to collect with a growl as he sucked on you. You let your eyes close and mind clear to just the sensations he was creating in you. His fingers massaged the tense muscles inside your thighs as he looped his arms over the top of your thighs and spread them just a bit wider, burying his face in between your legs. He found your clit and proceeded to tease it in just that way that had you arching your hips for him and whimpering into your shoulder till you couldn't keep quiet anymore. 

“Oh god Curtis… Curtis…” You started chanting his name while he played with you, continued pressing his tongue in all those places that made your core clench and thighs quiver and strain in his hold trying to clasp around his ears. 

“Just let it happen Y/N, why are you holding back?” He teased you, the graze of his cheeks scratching along the inside of your thighs that he released so they clasped around his head and your hands started to press his face into your center. He plunged his tongue into you, teasing your fluttering walls till they were driving you blissed out, rocking into his face till you finally did as he said, letting go and letting your orgasm wash over you till you were floating happily in pleasure, a sigh escaping you as your toes curled into his shoulders then they collapsed over his back, humming out your bliss. 

Curtis rolled his shoulders to let your legs fall off, one last lap through your core and a kiss to the top of your mound before he sat back and massaged your thighs till the tension seeped through them. Planting his hands on the mattress to pull to a stand, looming over you as he pushed your shirt up to kiss the curve of your belly. 

“Better?” He asked as he fell to the other side of the bed, his hand massaging your hip, the other hand running through his beard and you slid an eye open to see him watching you for an answer. 

“Thank you, he's settled down.” Your hand slid over your curve and he mimicked your touch, feeling for himself. 

“Perhaps he decided taking a nap was better than being aware of his parents intimate time.” He teased and you covered your face in embarrassment, sighing. 

“You are terrible Curtis.” 

He snorted with a grin while pushing up to a stand. “That I am. Alright, time for me to go to the gym. Do you need anything before I go Y/N?” 

You shook your head while pushing up to a stand yourself and brushing past Curtis to reach into the little fridge to grab an apple. “Nah, I'm good. Afterwards do you think we could go walking somewhere? My back has been killing me and the baths are not helping so much anymore. Walking around seems to help though.” 

He gathered what he needed while nodding. “Sure, we will do that when I get back.” Curtis promised before heading out, and you plopped down in the seat he occupied earlier, easing back a bit and picking up the book he had been engrossed with earlier, looking to see where he was. Taking bites of the apple, you suddenly felt the baby start to wriggle again, and this time he gave the kicks you were expecting earlier. 

“Oh now you wanna be a wriggler. Apparently your father was wrong, you have been awake.” You chuckled a bit while settling back. 

A whoosh of doors announced Wilford as he stepped into the enclosed space off the engine. Humming to himself as his eyes glanced over the screens to different sections of the train. Everyone was right where they needed to be, his eyes glinted gleefully appreciating the order of Snowpiercer. Everything so wonderfully balanced, just as it always has been. He was there god, giving them life. Each one he looked at was absolutely perfect, all constructed by him. Wilford viewed them as stories, each one he could maneuver in the way he wanted. Settling down in his seat, he twisted his chair towards his prize tv screen, the biggest and clearest one. 

On the screen was a black and white version of Curtis’s room. So far Wilford had let you and Curtis have moments of domesticity. Let you two get comfortable, sure that your lives were going to continue being peaceful.

Wilford grinned coldly while leaning forward to trace a finger over your form sitting in the chair, singing to your belly. 

“That's right Dear… you keep on taking care of my baby so sweetly. You will be the perfect mother to my son.”