#i got a little ahead of myself doing so much work on the graphics before i can even make it functional with the code and everything

[mossymanor]

Low res preview of the dress up game I'm working on! It will be fairy themed, only one skin tone for now until I can figure out the code and get it working, but then I plan to add more as well as additional dresses and wings. I also still need to design the menu/controls.

[mountainsandmayhem]

BDSMaid - Chapter 9

Series Summary: In order to save money for law school, you accept a job working as a maid for high end clients. You aren’t supposed to know whose home you’re cleaning, but your curiosity is peaked by your first client, and when the two of you have a shocking and surprising run in more than just your curiosity peaks.  Word Count: 5k CW: see small red lettering below the cut AN: I'm going to miss them!! I'm absolutely heartbroken that I'm done, but so fucking proud of myself for what I've created. Thank you to @lotusbxtch for being my beta from pretty much the very beginning. I am so grateful to you and so honoured (yes, with a u because I'm Canadian lol) to call you my friend. Also little shoutouts to @for-a-longlongtime, @alltheirdamn, @mermaidgirl30 and @littlevenicebitch69 for listening to me go on about them for 80% of 2024. As always, graphics and dividers by @saradika-graphics

My Masterlist || Series Masterlist

TW: unprotected p in v, one spank, multiple orgasms and Overstim hinted at, pining, heartbreak

Eight Months Later

Joel

“I got yelled at by a feisty brunette last night at that gala,” Tommy says as the two of them sip whiskey at the bar of the club. 

“Probably deserved it.” Joel deadpans and closes the folder of invoices he’s looking over.

He should be doing this in his fancy, and newly renovated, office across the street. He was in the large office for all of three minutes the day after you left when he could only see the ghost of you. From the chair you sat in when you first asked him to teach you how to be a sub, to the door he pinned you against and confessed how out of his mind he was over you, everything was you, and it had to go if he had any chance of following what you needed from him. Joel hasn’t even been in his room at the club out of the fear of what it would do to him. Would I still be able to smell the lavender of her shampoo in there? Still be able to hear her beautiful cries of pleasure and pain bouncing off the walls?

“She thought I was you,” Tommy says, glancing over at his brother and interrupting Joel’s impending spiral.

Joel sighs, slipping his reading glasses from his face before taking a long pull of the amber liquor from his crystal glass. Tommy looks straight ahead as he continues.

“She’s doing great, by the way. Or at least that’s what her friend said when she was scolding me.”

 Joel winces at his words, “Of course she is, Tommy.” Even though it's been almost a year since you left, just the mention of you rips his barely-mended heart back in half. It doesn’t seem to matter how much time passes, he still feels like he did in his kitchen. 

The very fibers of his being ache just as hard for you now as they did then. He longs to see you and touch you, to feel your warm, soft skin under his hands again. Anyone before you was always, ‘Yes, Mister Miller,’ even when they weren’t in a scene; but not you. You weren’t afraid to be curious and unapologetically yourself. He hasn’t laughed as hard with anyone, including Tiffany, as he did with you. But the part that he misses the most is the way you look at him the first time you see him. Your eyes soften, velvety pink lips parting slightly before they curl into a smile that makes his heart hammer behind his ribs. Then, he watches your shoulders relax and it makes him feel like he hung the moon and stars for you, and if he could have, he would have.  

He clears his throat and then rasps, “She’s too smart to not be doing well.”

Tommy stands, bringing his hands to rub at Joel's shoulders. He squeezes his tense deltoid muscles and with a hint of mischief in his voice he says, “Lots of pretty girls here tonight if you feel like moving on.”

Joel shakes his head and pulls away from Tommy’s grasp with a grunt. “Never gonna happen. Get outta here before you get yelled at two nights in a row.”

“Just too bad for me that you aren’t a hot brunette,” Tommy says with a laugh.

“I have brown hair,” Joel replies defensively, running his fingers through the grown out curls. 

“Not to kick you when you’re down, but it’s mostly grey at this point.”

Joel holds up a single finger at Tommy over his shoulder as he laughs and walks away. 

Two and a half years later

You

You’ve been up to your eyeballs in studying as you prepare for your finals. These last few years in California have been the hardest yet most fulfilling time of your life. Two nights in a row now, you’ve fallen asleep in the library, only waking when your Spotify would switch from the white noise playlist you use to help you focus, to your “getting ready” playlist. After dragging yourself to your dorm room in the dead of the night, you’d get a few restless hours of sleep before heading right back to your favourite studying spot. You can’t believe that in just a few short weeks you’ll be graduating and stepping into the life you’ve always envisioned for yourself.

The unmistakable FaceTime jingle fills your AirPods. Jamie’s name is splayed across the screen of your phone, along with a photo of the two of you at Albany Beach when she visited this past Christmas break. You put your highlighter down and slide the answer toggle over. 

“Hey!” She says, her warm smile shining up at you. You squint, trying to place where she is. You don’t often let yourself think of Joel, but the cracks across your screen make FaceTiming difficult, and the selfish side of you always wishes you had grabbed that new phone before you left. Your head cocks to the side; broken screen or not, you don’t recognize the background.

“Where are you?” You ask.

“Oh, I’m good, thanks. How are you?” She jests with a mocking eye roll.  “I’m at a cabin.”

“What cabin?” You say, glaring at her jokingly. A deep laugh comes from the otherside of the phone and your eyes widen. “Who’s that?”

The man's voice comes from offscreen, “I can’t believe you thought she wouldn’t ask where you were. She’s going to be a lawyer, for god's sake.”

“Jamie, who is that? What is going on here? Blink twice if you need rescuing!” You joke. 

Jamie blushes, looking over the phone at whoever that voice is coming from. “I just wanted to call to see how the studying is going, and to let you know that I got the graduation tickets.”

A glass of white wine appears in front of Jamie and she smiles before puckering her lips in a kissing motion towards the man in the room with her. “Ok, seriously, who the fuck is that and where are you?”

“I was also calling to let you know that Laren can’t make it anymore and Odette is in New York,” she takes a small sip of her wine.

“Oh, well that’s ok,” you say, trying to squash the disappointment and hoping it doesn’t show in your voice or face. You wished that at least two of your three best friends would be there for you. “It can just be me and you, baby!” 

“Well…I’m wondering if I could maybe bring my boyfriend? Might be a good opportunity for you two to meet.”

“What? What boyfriend?” You say, officially abandoning all study materials until you get some answers. Jamie raises a perfectly manicured finger and calls the mystery man over. 

You swallow hard as Tommy Miller appears beside her. 

Jamie glances up at him, her bright green eyes full of admiration, his mirroring hers. The starry look in their eyes tells you everything you need to know; they’re so far gone for that even a search and rescue team wouldn’t be able to save them. She looks back at you. “Meet again, I guess.”

You try to push for answers, but either of them give in, claiming you need to focus on finals. Before you hang up, Jamie promises to tell you the entire story when you see each other next. You’re happy for your friend, especially seeing the way Tommy looked back at her. Even through your cracked screen you could see the love, but as you try to go back to studying you have a hollow feeling in your stomach.

Graduation Day

You

The late afternoon sun fills your dorm room, boxes of your belongings stacked haphazardly around you. After walking the stage tonight, you are going out to dinner with Jamie and Tommy, and then he has paid for a hotel suite so the two of you can have a girls’ night. You can’t wait to hear how Tommy went from, in Jamie’s previous words, “my dad’s new asshole friend” to her boyfriend. 

You step in front of your floor length mirror, zipping up the black graduation gown over your knee length, form fitting, deep emerald velvet dress. The California sun has been good to you, your tanned legs and sunkissed nose and cheeks are glowing. You place your blue and yellow Berkeley Law stole over your head and then grab your cap, ensuring the ‘Class of ‘28’ tassel is secure. You fluff your curls one last time as a light knock comes from your door. 

“Ready to graduate, gorgeous?” Ronan smiles at you, eyes trailing down your gown. He’s the type of handsome that’s almost painful to look at, but more importantly - you wouldn’t have made it through these last three years without him. You met the first day - the lock on your door wasn’t working, and he waltzed in on you half naked when he mistook your room as his. 

You smile at him in your doorway now; remembering the way you screamed at him that first time, trying to cover your chest, and him scrambling to close the door. His eyes were clamped shut, and he slammed his finger so hard that you had to take him for stitches. Now, several years later, he fills out his graduation gown perfectly with those wide rugby shoulders, a sight you couldn’t even have imagined back then. Whichever angel made him didn’t make a single mistake - he’s tall and insanely broad, with dark sandy blonde hair, and clover green eyes that in the right light are a golden hazel. He’s easily one of the smartest men you’ve ever met and an incredible athlete. The cherry on top, because of course there’s more: he’s an international student and has a panty-melting Irish accent. 

“Beyond ready. Let's become lawyers, babe.”

He steps aside, one arm out in a ‘ladies first’ gesture. Handsome, charming, and thoughtful - a dangerous trifecta. You slide your hand in the crook of his muscle-lined arm and walk across campus together.

Ronan jerks his head towards the coffee cart. “Remember when you spilled your entire coffee on your new puffer jacket?”

You glare up at him, you saved for weeks to buy that jacket. “No, but I remember you throwing up in that trash can after the Halloween party last year.” 

“Well, if Beach Party Barbie had helped Lifeguard Ken with all those shots we wouldn’t have had that problem, would we?” You laugh as Ronan puffs out his chest, but you both know he was more than willing to take your half of the ‘Best Couples Costume' shots. 

Finally, you reach the courtyard where the law students will be walking across a stage that acts as the symbolic bridge to the rest of their lives. I’m a lawyer, you think to yourself and try to force a smile. The magnitude of the day only really starts to sink into your bones as you see the friends and families of your classmates start to take their seats. The excited feeling you had earlier starts to morph. You’re proud of yourself for what you’ve done these last three years, and this was just the first step. You have so much to look forward to, so why do you feel a sense of dread building in the pit of your stomach? 

Ronan walks you to where you need to line up alphabetically, kissing your cheek and then, after leaning in and placing his large hand on your lower back, he whispers a joke about how you better not trip. You glance around the thick crowd for Jamie and Tommy. After realizing it’s hopeless to try and spot them in a group this large, you slip your cap over your hair and get in the procession line. 

You try to soak in every minute of the day, from the speeches to the birds chirping in the background, but something akin to loss flutters at the base of your spine. You’re just as sad to be leaving Berkely as you are excited to carve out your future. Leaving here isn’t what’s causing you to feel this way, however. You try to tell yourself that maybe it’s just nerves; even with all the job offers coming in from your internships, it’s normal to be nervous about what comes next. 

As the student union president gives his toast to the family and friends, you look down at your lap, pushing back the cuticle on your left thumb. Maybe it’s leaving Ronan. He’s been an anchor for you, grounding you almost every day of the last three years and you don’t know how you let yourself become this dependent on anyone, especially a man, again.  

You shake your head at yourself and try to move your focus to the cuticle on your other thumb. Seeing the skin clean from the nail bed eases the tension slightly for you. ‘I’m allowed to be nervous when leaning on people, but not everyone will leave me,’ you recite almost automatically in your mind, the mantra you’ve had these past few years whenever you feel yourself getting this anxious. Just as you finish the thought, a car revs in the distance and the realization of what - or who - you’re actually missing slams through you so hard that you almost feel winded. Your lungs ache, tears pushing behind your eyes as his name rings loudly through your mind.  

Joel.

You kept yourself busy since the minute you left Austin. The busier you were, the less time you had to focus on the void in your heart. During the school year, you didn’t have to find things to stay busy with; law school nearly chewed you up and spit you out. Over the summers, you worked as an intern and visited your friends. There was never a quiet moment, never too much time alone with your thoughts, and it was better this way. You can confidently say that you’d only thought of Joel six times since you walked out of his house that day: when you fell asleep on the beach and were so sunburnt you could barely move for three days; when you failed your first test; when your rusted SUV, that acted as your ticket to freedom at eighteen, died on the freeway in rush hour (from that point on you had to rely on public transportation to get you to the homes you cleaned). When you experienced your first earthquake; when you stayed up for forty-two hours straight after your partner in a group project didn’t have their side of the work done; and, lastly, this past New Year’s Eve when you were in Austin and thought you saw him at a party. 

“Is he here?”, that little box of feelings that you shut away in a vault long ago wonders. “Has anything changed for him in the last three years?” 

The small smile that pulls at your cheeks, and the excited flutter of your heart when you think about the possibility of seeing him again, proves that maybe nothing has changed for you. As the minutes tick by, your mind races with all the possible scenarios for after the ceremony. What if he is here? What will you say? What will he say? How will Ronan react, you know he has strong feelings about what happened between you and Joel. Even worse though, what if he’s not here? But maybe he’s at the hotel where Tommy and Jamie are staying?  

Before you know it, your row is standing and walking single file towards the stage. With each strike of your high-heeled strappy sandals against the concrete, a memory of Joel floods your system. The toast he made you in his kitchen, the kiss in that dimly lit hallway on your birthday, the way he walked you through his club and how calmly he talked about you being in charge before going into the voyeur room. The multitude of orgasms he gave you within the four walls of his private room. Him singing on the small stage of the dive bar you found, followed by him spanking you right there in the bathroom with his hand clamped to your face to keep you quiet. His strong hand grasping your thigh as he drove you to his house. The way he tasted on your tongue. The smell of his skin: all ash and leather, occasionally mixed with whiskey or mint. The feel of his body: hard, broad and hot. His shuddered breaths as he confessed so many things in so few words. 

‘It’s only you, sweet girl.’

‘Just call me Joel.’

‘I know, and I’m so proud of you, sweet girl.’

You carefully walk up the stairs, forcing the thoughts of Joel from your mind, just in time to hear your name announced as a graduate of Berkeley Law. You float across the stage, grabbing the piece of paper that acts as your degree until the real one comes, shaking the hand of the Dean who flips your tassel before you walk to the stairs on the other side; the stairs that symbolize the ending of your time here and the beginning of the rest of your life. 

As you reach the top of the steps, you look out into the audience and see Jamie. She pumps her fist in the air and before you can process the empty seat beside her, you feel it; a strong tug from behind your navel. It takes you less than a heartbeat to find him and the sight before you floods your body with a familiar warmth. Standing under a large tree at the edge of the audience, dressed in all black, and holding his Stetson hat to his heart, is Joel. For the first time in years you feel whole again.

 You keep your gaze on him, worried that if you so much as blink that he’ll be gone. You are supposed to follow your classmates, but you veer left, walking towards Joel. The closer you get, the more at ease you feel. He’s real, you think, he’s here. You stop a foot or so in front of him. 

“Hi, Freckles,” he whispers, his voice cracking slightly. His eyes dance around your face, almost as if he’s trying to memorize this moment. You can’t help but wonder if he’s feeling exactly how you are.   

“Hi, Sweet Cheeks,” you say, the same tremble in your voice, as you try desperately to hold it together. “You’re here.”

He nods and you give him a tight-lipped smile as your mind races. There’s so much you want to say, but now that he’s standing right there in front of you after three years, you don’t know where to start. 

Joel breaks the silence, jutting his chin in the direction of the other graduates as he says, “I saw you come in with your boyfriend. When I saw you kiss, I was going to leave, but I made you a promise.”

You knit your eyebrows together and take a step closer. “Boyfriend?”

“The man you walked over here with,” Joel says, his black Stetson sliding down the chest you so desperately want to touch as he drops his hands to his sides. He’s left no barriers between the two of you except the heartbreak that’s evident on his face. 

You laugh quietly, “No, he’s - that’s Ronan.”

Joel nods. “Okay.”

“He’s my friend,” you clarify, and when Joel’s face stays the same, you add, “And he’s still as gay as the day we first met!”

Joel lets out a whoosh of a breath and closes the distance between the two of you, his free hand comes to one of your curls, twirling the end of it around his thick fingers. Soft and silky meets rough and calloused. “I’m so proud of you, Freckles.”

You don’t miss how he watches your tongue dart between your lips, “Thank you.”

“So? How does it feel?” He gives you a soft crooked smile, his dimple carving into the short facial hair of his salt and pepper beard. Between that smile, and the way his brown eyes wash over you, you’re overcome with affection. He let you go. He did exactly as you asked him. He didn’t chase you or try to convince you to stay. You told him if he really loved you, then he’d do exactly this; and in turn, he did what he said he would. 

He showed up. 

“I love you,” you state and the air between you turns electric, almost like this moment could either set you both aflame or act as a generator for your future together. Joel gives you that look, the one that makes you feel like you’re the center of his universe. He lets the curled end of your hair slip from his fingers, reaching up towards your graduation cap but hesitating.

“May I?” He rasps and swallows hard.

You nod, and knowing exactly what he’s going for, you take the Stetson from his other hand and place it on your head after he removes your cap. The brim of it blocks out everything but the two of you.

“Say that again, sweet girl,” he murmurs.

“I love you,” it’s barely a whisper this time. “Even after three years apart, you are everything to me. I asked you to let me go so I could accomplish this, and you did. You’ve always done what I asked, what I needed. I’m not sorry for what happened between us, but I am sorry that I missed out on getting to spend the last three years with you looking at me how you are now. I love you, Joel Miller.”

He brings his lips within a breath of yours, and your body practically vibrates with the knowledge that if you leaned just a bit forward, you’d finally have his mouth on you again. You can almost taste the mint on his tongue as the familiar fragrance of ash and leather surround you. “I have dreamed of hearing those three words leave your beautiful lips more times than I can count, baby. You’re it for me. I’ll do anything for you, even if it means breaking my own heart, but I’m always going to be here for you, rooting for you and encouraging you. I’m glad you’re not sorry, because I’m not, I’m so fucking proud of you. I love you, too, my sweet girl.”

Finally, he presses his warm, firm lips against yours while pulling you tight to his body. You wrap an arm around his neck, holding the black cowboy hat against your head with your other hand. It doesn’t matter that the ceremony isn’t done, or that there are hundreds of people to your right. For the first time in three years, everything goes quiet. He hums contentedly and you feel yourself melt against him, tilting your head so he can deepen the kiss. He parts his lips, letting you take the first swipe of your tongue against his. Need floods your system, and based on the way he grinds into you, he’s feeling the same. 

He breaks the kiss, but doesn’t go far, resting his forehead against yours. “Take me home,” you practically purr.

“Where do you want home to be? I’ll go anywhere,” Joel rasps, running his nose down the bridge of yours. 

“Austin,” you respond, your breath catching as his lips ghost along the side of your mouth.

“I sold my portion of the club to Tommy and Tess. I don’t have anything holding me in Austin anymore, sweet girl. If you have a job offer you really want, that’s where we’ll go.” You pull back to look at him. You can tell by the set of his jaw that he’s serious. 

“I want to go to Austin. I have a job offer there.”

“Good thing I told Tommy not to touch my room at the club then.”

“That’s a very good thing,” you moan and then pull him in to kiss again. The audience behind you erupts into cheers, celebrating the accomplishments of every student in that crowd. 

You’re a lawyer, and suddenly, the future doesn’t seem so scary.

Joel

Taking you home to Austin that night unfortunately wasn’t an option. After finding Jamie in the crowd, and being formally introduced to Ronan, he called the car to pick up the three of you. You all met Tommy at the restaurant, celebrating with all the expensive homemade pasta and overpriced wine that you wanted; even though seeing you in that curve-hugging velvet dress was slowly killing him. Joel had kept at least one hand on you since seeing you again, and he doesn’t plan on changing that anytime soon. 

He didn’t want to rush you on your big night, so he waited patiently, listening to you tell stories of your last three years, and revelling in the evident joy that you and Jamie share over being together again. When dessert comes around he catches Tommy’s attention and gives him a small smile. It’s fitting that the two brothers, who have been so close their entire lives, would fall in love with best friends. 

Once in his room, he spent two hours stripping you down at an almost painfully slow pace. He kissed every inch of your skin twice over and has pulled five orgasms, and counting, out of you so far. 

Now, Joel is seated in the wide velvet arm chair in the corner of his hotel suite. His cock is buried deep inside of your tight cunt as you straddle him. Your skin feels like butter under his hands as he trails them along your back and the globes of your perfect ass. He’s missed tying you up, but this is what he longed for: the earth shattering intimacy he feels with you in these moments.   

“Please,” you mumble into his neck, desperate to move your hips.

“Not until you answer me,” he demands softly. “How many times was it that you needed me, but were too stubborn to reach out?”

Earlier tonight you told him about the six times you really needed him. He’d kissed you softly after each confession, returning the trust with a time he needed you. After the last one, he’d pulled back to look at you with dark eyes. He’d hated that you needed him and he couldn’t be there. He’d clenched his back molars twice before he said you’d be denied six orgasms the next time you were at the club, but tonight you have permission to come as often as you need to. 

He swats your already reddened ass cheek and your pussy flutters as you cry out. “Mister Miller, stop. Please, just let me move.”

“Do you need to use your safeword?”

“No,” you respond with a pout. 

“How many times?” He says again through gritted teeth, even though already knows the answer. 

“Six,” you sob. 

He tuts and then growls, “That doesn’t sound like my good girl, does it?”

You shake your head against his throat and moan a sound of disagreement.

“Do you want to come for me again?”

“Yes, Mister Miller. Please!”

He trails his fingers up and down your back again, the thin sheen of sweat on your skin makes it easy for him to caress you. He smiles to himself at the shiver that racks through your body at his touch. You react so beautifully to him. “Yeah? You wanna grind your swollen little clit on my piercing, baby girl?”

“Please,” you whine again, stretching out all the vowels in the word.

“Show me. Ride my cock, take what you need.” 

You lift your head from the crook in his neck and pull back slightly, rocking your hips back and forth; a sultry laugh leaves his lips at your eagerness. You look at him with hooded eyes, hair stuck to your forehead. His eyes trail down your neck to the bruises he sucked into your collar bone earlier and then to your breasts; both of which are covered in his marks. He watches the little gold nipple clamps, and the chain that connects them, bounce with each flick of your hips. 

“That’s it, sweet girl. You look like a goddess, my goddess. Who do you belong to?”

“I’m yours, baby,” you say through shallow breaths. He pulls at the chain and you cry out in pain. “S-sorry, Mister Miller.”

“Again, sweet girl. Tell me who you belong to.”

“Oh fuck, y-you, Mist -” his hands come to your face and when he whispers your name the rest of your sentence dies on your tongue.

“Just call me Joel.” The commanding voice of his alter ego is gone as he says it. 

Your hips slow, changing from a frantic back and forth to a sensual swirling motion. “I’m yours, Joel. Forever.”

He kisses you softly, a silent telling of how vulnerable he is at this moment. “Don’t ask me to let you go ever again.”

The smile you give him causes his heart to skip, “I won’t.”

“You might, sweet girl. I won't survive it if you do, so I’m going to remind you of this moment as often as possible for the rest of my life. Remind you how much you’re loved and supported. You’re mine, Freckles.” Your hips swirl and he feels you tighten up around him. “Come for me, my sweet girl.” 

“Fuck, fuck, Joel!” It’s a cry and moan all at once. 

“I’m here, it’s ok, baby.” With that, your body shudders and you fall into him as you shatter. Your pussy clenches and releases rapidly around his length. His cock twitches, and once he can’t hold it anymore he relaxes, letting his orgasm rock through him in time with yours.

“I’m yours, too,” he gasps as he melts into you.

The End

Coming Soon:

Curious how Jamie ended up with her "dads new asshole friend?"

Part 2 of the BDSMaid Trilogy coming mid 2025!

Also, stay tuned for the epilogue for Joel and Sweet Girl.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Good Omens graphic novel update: December 2024

We promised a graphic novel treat for December to send off 2024, which we have at the end of the update, so let's dive in!

Colleen has been working diligently ahead of the graphic novel going to print next month, which she discussed over on Patreon. For those looking for more behind the scenes on both Good Omens and Colleen's work more broadly, we recommend either following her Substack, or subscribing via Patreon, as she approaches the finish line.

A snapshot from our production HQ where dummy books of the graphic novel, slipcase and other editions of Good Omens have been arriving thick and fast. The graphic novel (slipcased version shown) has quite the heft to it. It's going to be such a magnificent object inside and out.

Here, we're testing out the various papers, finishes, embellishments and more – everything is falling into place!

Merch-wise, some more delights. The A.Z. Fell & Co tote bag design is in, one side in celebration of our favourite angelic bookseller, the other as if it's been purchased from the bookshop itself, so you can take your pick.

We've got more pins that will be available in the 3-pin set add ons. While the full list will be available in 2025, we're happy to share a few more to get excited about:

On the trading card front, have a look at some of the base deck designs by Steve Gregson and Kirsty Hunter in situ as this all comes together rather nicely, and causes a heated game or two behind the scenes.

And, a quick admin note to wrap up that we always recommend checking the FAQ page as a first port of call for any queries. If you have questions tied to specific tiers, we'd suggest checking the last few updates if your answer can't be found on the FAQ. If there is any information required for your pledge, we will be in touch. We will be back at full steam in the New Year!

Thank you.

So, to wrap up this year's updates, we give you the draft of the full first scene of the graphic novel, artwork by Colleen Doran and lettering by Lois Buhalis. If you'd like to wait until the graphic novel publishes in Spring, skip everything after the ducks!

To 2025 🥂

Until next time.

+ post from Colleen Doran:

Good Omens: You Get...Stuff Like This

In the most recent Good Omens update at the Kickstarter, a few people got upset at the suggestion that you have to get past my paywall here to see Good Omens updates.

Except you really don't, and the post doesn't actually say you do. You get a bit more, like pics of my studio, a discussion of tools and process - but not all of that is exclusively about Good Omens.

I think the Dunmanifestin team just wanted to draw a little attention to my blogs and other works, for which I am very grateful.

As my Patreon supporters already know, Good Omens info posted here gets to the Substack and Kickstarter eventually. And since most of my posts here aren't just about Good Omens, but my other projects and personal stuff, as well as links to our weekly Virtual Art Studio sessions, I think I'm justified in keeping that material behind a paywall.

In fact, I don't think I've posted much stuff about Good Omens since the summer: pages of flats like the one you see above, a few studio photos, and color tweaks.

Also, me boo-hooing about my nerves and health.

But for those who feel left out missing even this small amount of stuff, then the screen shot above is for you.

That's called a flat.

It's a prelim color before adding final color.

Here's what the final color looks like.

So I've posted a handful of this sort of thing since this summer, but frankly, there's even more of my sketches and so on posted at my Instagram that aren't here at all.

For those who don't know, I am doing most of the color myself on the book, but I am working with assistants. I'm not sure how much the Dunmanifestin team wants out there before the big reveals, but here's a snippet of a sky.

In the first image, my flat color.

And after my assistant worked on it.

Here, I've done a repaint. Sometimes I do very extensive repaints after the assistant works on a page. Sometimes not so much. I didn't use assistants on many pages at all. About 80% of the labor on the color of the book is my work.

However, the assistants have been a big help, and I am very appreciative of them.

I will make a point to go through all my prior posts and get every single bit of art that you haven't seen and make it public for all of you in the coming weeks. I need to excise it from previous posts. As I respect the privacy of all my readers, I never make prior posts public without their permission as they may not want their comments or identities to be public.

Thanks so much for everything!

[directdogman]

hey dog! sorry to bug you with a coding question, but i'm learning rpg maker mv for a fangame & i'm wondering how you did a couple things. if it's not too much trouble, could you quickly explain some of it? i've scrounged around as much as i can but i cant find what i need so i thought it'd be worth asking directly ^^;

how did you get the players name to show up in the message log? i know theres a plugin that adds the name windows for other characters & i've got that figured out, but i have no idea how to get the players name to show up in the history after selecting stuff

how'd you get the graphic for the route diverging choices to show & play During choices? so far ive figured out that looping the images recreates the visual but then the game doesn't progress, bc its just stuck in that loop...

how'd you disable ( + grey out) dialogue options after selecting them??

how'd you add the fullscreen option? i found a code that was supposed to add a fullscreen option to the optionscore settings but that one just breaks the plugin & i simply Don't know enough javascript to figure it out myself

i'm using all the same plugins that dialtown has so clearly these are possible without extra ones, i just don't know how to do it,, thanks for explaining your pronoun system a little while ago btw! i wasn't the one who asked but your post was super helpful when i was setting it up for myself :D

It's been close to 6 years since I started making DT, and I had to figure out a few solutions to specific issues that cropped up which I've likely forgotten now, but I'll answer what I can remember. I'm also gonna give you some advice and advise you not to use RPG Maker for projects like these.

I basically Scott Cawthon'd DT and forced the engine to yield to my demands because I wanted to use the one I knew best. A few of these solutions are over-complicated because the easier ones (which would've worked in other engines) had to be constructed differently. I'll also mention a few solutions to problems you might not have encountered (but inevitably will if you try to recreate DT.) With that out of the way...

1)

You'll want these settings for the backlog plugin. the \c[x] commands refer to standard name colours. Log special inputs set to true, followed up by this below:

\n<\c[4]\n[1]\c[0]>%1

With \n[1] being the name you want and the number after the first c being what colour you want.

I'll also save you a potential future issue: I'd actually recommend you find the backlog plugin I used in DT's files (located inside the www/js/plugins folder) and use the version I have instead of the official release if you're not already, because I made a small change to fix an error. Basically, it breaks slightly with the plugin that lets you bring up the menu during dialogue because text reloads when you leave the menu and re-enter the text box, causing text to be logged at least twice after you pause it. If you keep bringing up the menu, you'll get constant duplication. I simply added a line of code that tells the log not to have two duplicates in a row. Not a programmer, but it seems works.

2)I did it in a funny way to ensure the engine wouldn't screw it up. Basically, there's 3 steps to the event and it's kinda hard to explain (and would be annoying to reproduce without a lot of trial and error for a beginner.) It's easier if I show my code. The first thing I do is run a common event (you can also just paste this code in and run it from the event) that renders the frames used by the popup, so they're loaded into memory + ready to go.

As you can see, they're set to 0 opacity but now ready to be used. Obviously they have to be on a layer that isn't being used by anything else in the scene (and won't be during this part of the game.) I run this event ahead of time, usually 4 messages before the choice comes up or so, so even slower PCs should have time to get them up.

The 'if head' thing just switches between the files for phone/typegingi's heads. I render each frame on separate layers and toggle their opacity from one to the next on a single frame to avoid flickering (bc RPG maker's renderer is hot trash and I have to work around it. Case in point.)

Step 2 is a second command event that orders the frames to fade in.

One layer is the text (which doesn't move) and the other is the first frame of the little head animation. A switch is also turned on at the end, and this signals the animation to go, which is handled by an event on any map where a choice like this comes up.

The event page that handles the animation itself has 2 pages, one to handle the animation as it goes and the other to handle when it stops (note that you could use one page and simply use a conditional branch. I didn't.)

Set to parallel so it runs in the bg behind normal events. As you can see, every 17 frames, I command one image to fade out over a single frame and another to fade in. It loops perfectly, cycling from middle frame, to left, to middle, to right, back to middle. Finally, when you select any route diverging choice, it sets off a second switch, which activates the second event page and commands the game to dispose of the graphics and then turn itself off.

Basically, it's the same animation but with a twist. The text is faded out over 60 frames and then the same animation is played as before, except the values it fades back into go from 255, to 170 to 85. Each of those commands is also followed by a 17 second fade to the opacity of the next frame. So, frame one renders in one frame at 255. Then seventeen frame fadeout to 170... Next frame renders for 1 frame AT 170, then fades out gradually to 85. Then next frame renders at 85 during 1 frame, fades to 0. This is how i synced the turning animation to fade out convincingly.

At the very end, I turn both of the switches this event page uses off so both event pages don't continue on loop. I also have a check for the first event variable to check if the game should still think the animation is running, as a failsafe. I don't remember if this mattered.

3)It's a function in the YEP Extended Message Pack. You'll see the commands for hiding (temporarily removing) + disabling choices (greying them out) as you scroll through the help list, almost 2/3 down. The thing you have to remember though is that messages that are commanded to be hidden/disabled will STAY disabled unless you turn them back on. So, ANY time there's a possibility to make a choice with a disabled or hidden message, add this plugin command to EVERY selectable choice

ClearChoiceSettings

This will ensure the game doesn't break from having a choice permadisabled. If you use loops or labels to make the game return to a previous choice, make sure the looping point is BEFORE any logic that may disable/hide a choice so it doesn't autoenable everything if the game has to go back.

4)Make a new RPG Maker project, copy the js folder from www/data/js and open the new project alongside your other one. Then check my YEP Option core plugin and follow this path in the plugin editor

This code should work.

On a similar note, I'd also take a look at how my plugins are ordered, if your list is different. I had to meddle with the list to make sure some plugins functioned correctly. This engine is held together with duct-tape and spite, so do what this advice what you will.

Hope this helps!

[stellewriites]

https://www.tumblr.com/stellewriites/765393221177196544/httpswwwtumblrcomstellewriites76537667751582?source=share — thanks for offering to tell me! it’s not so much that i can’t read it, rather i’m just mentally preparing since i love the fic so much already. only question now is on how violent is it gonna be 😬 (the noncon), if you’ve thought that far ahead. by that i mean are we talking physically forced through harm etc or like being coerced emotionally/or verbally. can’t wait for any other future work xx.

hi again anon!!

i literally just finished this scene so i’m gonna describe it under the cut for spoiler reasons but i’m not gonna go into graphic detail - more black and white plain language so you can decide what you wanna do 🫂

again just let me know if you want the lines before and after the scene - it’s not detrimental to the plot so you can skip it easily xx

it starts closer to physical harm. reader is slightly injured/dazed and has her upper body held still by johnny while kyle has sex with her. though they don’t threaten to harm her, johnny was the one to make her dazed and they don’t give her much room to move. she says no and stop - this is used when kyle first steps behind her and then when he moves it along a little too quickly (encouraged by johnny) and she’s worried about not enough prep.

there’s a single use of ‘slut’ by johnny. they both are convinced (or pretending, up to readers’ interpretation) that she’s into it and only hesitant because of her husband/being married.

towards the end it dips into dubcon with reader pushing back into kyle and she has a brief thought when kyle cums inside her about how maybe now she’ll get the baby she’s always wanted.

they take her to their room and when she’s passing out (adrenaline, head injury, a generally exhausting day before allll of this too) johnny plays with the cum leaking out and rubs his cock through it. not explicitly stated but inferred that he has sex with her when she’s asleep.

i’ll also note that in regards to reader’s pov i don’t get descriptive with how she feels - if you’re concerned it might be quite graphic in describing her panic or stress or internal thoughts as it happens, i don’t go into that. it’s smth i find difficult to read and write myself. at most it goes more into her hiding the reluctant pleasure she feels as it happens, e.g. hiding her face in johnnys leg to muffle any sounds.

hope this has helped any!! if you’ve got any more questions anon please please feel free to send them in and ask, i’m happy to explain anything else in more detail or less if this was too much or whatever you need for an easier read :D

[theworldibuilt4you]

[Addie broke out into a huge grin, and felt their own face warming. They... Didn't even realize he had previously put in the effort to try...!]

N-no! I… Like that you can see me. I mean, I get to see you all the time, so now we're even!

[They crossed their arms and stuck their tongue out playfully at Casey's offhand comment.]

Nyeeeeeh! That's me sticking my tongue out at you, Case-Case…!

-Addie

[Casey rolled their eyes, but there was a dull smile on their face. It was clear that they're just playing... they're much more relaxed than they had seemed before as well. Something about not having to do anything dangerous anymore just sort of puts you at ease.]

"Sooo... what's the goal now..? I mean we got that admin whatever away from Kinito, but what now..?"

[Sonny puts a hand to his chin, tapping his heel against the digital grass of their home.]

"I've already got a lot of stuff starting in the background... I'm starting with little things. Kinito hasn't updated anything in a... long... long time.. So all the drivers on the main server computer are years out of date."

[He gestures a hand out at nothing. Something only he could see, perhaps.]

"Once the graphics and display drivers are up to date, plus a hard drive cleanup, everyone should start to see a huge difference in performance. I wanted to make sure the graphics card started first, as all of our models depend on it. You'll feel a bit more energetic eventually, which will help you last longer without your constant naps, Casey."

[Now it was their time to glance away sheepishly]

"I... I thought it was just laziness on my part, dude.."

"Not at all..! Sluggishness and fatigue is bound to be a side effect of poor disk maintenance... Once everything minor like that is up and going, I'll have to see what I can do about world corruption... I may need to create a new instance if I can't find the source. Corrupted world data can be a pickle to work out, and..-"

[He took a glance back towards

Addie.... what a rambler he was being.]

"...Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. Apologies.."

[a-real-cupcake]

An explanation to my Discord profile picture.

Alright, so my Discord profile picture has been pretty much the exact same ever since I got Discord way back in 2017. When I do change it, it's to a recolor of the same picture. So, what is my profile picture?

It's this. A screencap of an anime called Kaiba. I wont do an explanation of what the anime is about, but basically it's my favorite anime so I just started using it as my pfp on Discord and it's basically just kind of become my thing. I would like to just to just double mention that the original screen cap is not drawn by me, it is from the anime Kaiba directed and created by Masaaki Yuasa so please go give it a watch.

The oldest edit I have still on my computer is this one here where I basically tried making a "retrowave" type pfp. At the time I never really liked it, and looking back on it I really don't like it because I've gotten a lot better at making these things.

That said, I did add to that specific picture right after this and removed the background to replace it with the original Kaiba background which does look better.

I tried making a Pride pfp not long after and it turned out pretty bad.

My very first Christmas pfp in 2018 was...well it was not good if I'm being honest.

My first official recolor that I have wasn't until 2020. That's when I decided to recreate the outline of the original drawing so I could do my own thing. The colors I used for this come from Kamina from the anime Gurren Lagann.

The next one I did after Kamina was Stocking Anarchy, a character from Panty & Stocking, another one of my favorite anime.

Next up is Halloween of 2020. This would be the first Halloween pfp I have saved, and probably ever made. It is just a jack-o-lantern. The concept of it I think is pretty clever, but the actual execution just didn't work. Maybe I can do it again another year and make it better.

And after Halloween comes Christmas, this being the second Christmas pfp I have means it has to be better....right? I had a whole year to get better. You can decide that.

This next one isn't one I did, it's actually one a friend of mine did for me. It's just the normal Kaiba picture, but they made him a cat boy! I actually do come back to this one from time to time.

Ok so shockingly, for 2021 I didn't really have any new pfps, at least none that I saved, so we're jumping right into Halloween 2021. It's Dracula and I actually really like this one. This I think is when I think I can see a change in myself getting better at making these, and graphic design as a whole.

Christmas 2021 was also really good, it's a gingerbread man! Has texture and everything. Also one of my favorites I've done.

I eventually decided to upscale the original Kaiba picture, remove the background, and leave just the outline and was left with this.

I was then able to do cool things like this Nonbinary Kaiba. I did this when me and a bunch of friends in a server were doing similar pfp.

One that I really love is this "real" Kaiba that I made. I usually use Paint.net to make all my stuff be that YouTube thumbnails or these profile pictures, but I decided to try out Gimp just for this one specific pfp to get the warp tool and I think it worked out.

I'm not going to show all of my pictures, but I do want to leave it off with this years Halloween pfp. It's Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

With that being said I'm going to go ahead and leave a screenshot of the folder that hold all of my Kaiba pictures just so you can see the rest of them that I didn't show here. It's funny how this little joke of a profile picture has unintentionally been helping me better myself at graphic design.

[thetextiwriteiwrote]

False Obits and Overdramaticism

Go ahead? Put anything? Literally? On God? Just like that?

I suppose it's trying to probe my brain for thoughts, which is fair, but I'll divulge them at my own pace, thank you, graphics-interface. I don't need the suggestion to talk about how I'm feeling. If that cauldron happens to be boiling or broiling anywhere near the surface, you'll be the first to know.

I have a funny grip on my hearing that tells me I might very well have a day like that tomorrow, but I'll be in love with the feeling, because I'll be back at work. I'll be able to flex these new people-skrillz that I've picked up in recent days.

There'll be those that I can't help, but I'll try with everyone. I need to try with people or else they might never bother to try with me, and I'm worth trying with-- I'm worth trying out-- and I'm worth taking home. This, I have to prove to myself by proving it to society for a while.

Then, the gym-etiquette will come back to me, and I'll be cycling again like my heart depends on it, and it does. Love or no love, cycling puts distance between me and my emotions as I'm currently feeling them, so that I might be able to process them.

It's all running, at the end of the day. Spiritual and physical cardio, we do these things to clear our heads. We watch TV, we play games, we bob our heads to music and pretend to know what it all means.

But none of us know, we're all learning together, gradually, slowly, gently. It's a process, believe me. As someone who is fighting tooth and nail to be and feel better and better each day, it doesn't get easier, but it shouldn't have to get easier.

It should get harder. That's how leveling up works.

If you're constantly boxing at your skill-level, you'll never get better. Metaphors. I have too much energy to slow down, take my time, and write a periodic draft of this, which is why you're getting the manic ramblings of someone freshly-medicated and freshly-reunited with his family, job, and support-structure. I got my job back! It's all thanks to these little circular white tabs that give me a fighting chance against my psychosis.

One tablet, every night, at 9PM, right before bed.

I'll stay creative. I'll stay content. I'll stay healthy.

[itgetsbetteroneday]

This whole time, I thought I was the shepherd, so why do you call me your little lamb?

All of my life, it has rained fire, but you keep me sheltered, I don’t understand

I never got why no one ever tried

So why does your love make me terrified?

When I have a bad day, you push work away,

Say I don’t have to do a thing

But love costs a leg and an arm

But love, they say, is hard

But love, I know, it takes a lot of effort

Yet when I’m burnt out, you love me better?

Why are you gentle?

Haven’t I learned how to be tough?

Why call me little?

When I’ve been asked to outgrow everyone?

Why do I feel a need to have you by my side?

I have been taught to walk alone all of my life.

And just when I accept that no one will ever show up,

I learned to save myself, and only then, fall in love.

But when they say no one completes you,

I guess that I’d have to laugh.

You have sawed me down, smoothed my edges,

Taken from my whole.

I completed myself by building these walls,

The point is you made me let it go.

When people look for their other half, they’re blind,

When you’re alone, you’re all that you find.

But when you have met the man in the mirror,

Only then, it gets to be time.

I am smaller than the day we met,

Though you have added so much purpose.

And I know that there’s lots we’ve said,

But I’m not sure that you’ve heard this.

When you call me little anything,

It always strikes a nerve.

The tiny hands that grasped a check

With blood from sacrifice and work.

I tend the lands, I work the field,

I’d do all to bring sheep home.

For the first time in my whole life,

There’s a light on when I get home.

Fires burnt fields where shepherds spend their nights,

Leading cross the rivers, before, not beside or behind.

And of all the years of tales of helping people the way you decide,

The ferry, the shepherd, and the king, but the responsibility was always mine.

When I was suffering, I still said to others, there’s hope ahead.

When I was healing, I tried to rope everyone in, but they still reached for death.

When I was finding my footing, I let it all go, you can’t bring everyone, you must accept.

You hope that they follow, to be a role model, but somebody still must lead.

And in trying to find the best way to cross, nobody ever tried for me.

The fire that burnt me should have left me scarred

But your warmth is such a relief

The water that drowned me should cause me fear

But I’m revived being pulled to my knees

The earth that has buried me countless alive

Now flourishes and it grounds me

The air that I spent years trying to give away

Is every breath that I’m grateful to take

And in all of my years of isolation and misery

I have made one mistake

It crafted you, and it crafted me, and it gave us this room for love

How could I find any misery in the same universe and stardust?

Bah, bah, little sheep, rest your little eyes

For you to be grateful, tragedy must strike

The contrast comes so beautifully when you know dark from light

Over the river and voices and the cries,

You’ve gone deaf to what it’s all for, waiting on the other side,

You forget you’re someone too, what about your life?

Little lamb, your time has come, you’ve earned your lullabies

I know you rock me to sleep, rub my back, and play with my hair

Even when I’m far gone in dreamland, disappeared

It’s the beauty of secrets, the unknown and passing time

You keep it from me, no mentioning, like the world with you and I

Did it have us planned since it began? Written in the divine?

Were you waiting for me, somewhere else longing, every night I would cry?

Across the distance, under the same moon, you still sang my lullaby

Not to be graphic, but if something happens, I ask only this of you

On this planet or on the next adventure, sing me a song to the moon

“But love was-“ no, no

Love, I am

Everybody gets it wrong

Only now I understand

Little lambs

[vodka-redbull-daily]

October 30th, 2023

*Graphic Sexual Content*

I spent the evening googling how long your asshole bleeds after anal.  I met up with F---- today and he was very insistent about taking my anal virginity. didn't even really know that was a thing. and also, I wasn't even an anal virgin. it was just too complicated to explain to him that 4 years ago ahead and ex who I tried anal with, but since it's been 4 years ago I really would like him to go gentle with me as if I had never done it before. he brought over vodka and Red Bull  for me and a beer for himself. he came around 1:30 and was quick to let me know that he had to take a business call at 3:00.

we talked for a little bit. he did that thing all these guys do were they pretend like they're actually interested in having a conversation before suddenly going heavy into sexual questions and talk. what do you do for work? oh I've never heard of that before can you explain it to me? so what do you do for fun? what's your favorite position? it always happens like this. I don't know if they're just can't keep a train of thought or if they think that by asking me all the softball questions before I'll be more open to their advances. the money is what makes me open to their advances, not their personality.

I hadn't eaten all day. I know my usual limit for vodka Red Bulls is five. learn that the hard way. it was out when I was with him for his birthday. I was so nervous because  he had invited me to go out with all his fancy friends.  all his rich friends. all his white collar friends. he knew how to Captivate a room, always shining with an incredible confidence. and I was nervous. so I drank.  we are at a bar. it's not like it was a crazy thing to do. but I got five Red Bulls in and had to pull him close to me and Whisper… 

“I'm about to fucking pass out.”

 of course, the fun ended there. we had to go home since I was completely wasted at that point. alcohol sneaks up on me. I'll be three drinks I'm not feeling anything before suddenly the entire world is spinning.

 and F---- keep telling me to drink.

 he was aggressive and pushy, but I think that's just how he is. he really wanted me to try anal. He was convinced that if I was drunk enough, and he put enough Lube, then it would be fine. no thoughts of helping me stretch out or anything. I know from B------ and from trying to Peg T----- that stretching is pretty important.  and I hadn't eaten anything all day and I know how not very much alcohol can do a lot to me. I think I only had like two drinks before  my head was starting to buzz.

 he didn't want to wear a condom. of course he didn't. selfish old man. maybe just selfish man in general.  he asked me if I was on birth control. whenever anybody asks me, I usually say no. that's a lie. It’s the only lie i ever tell. i am. but birth control can fail and I'm highly paranoid. besides, I've been having problems with my birth control for a while now. I skipped the placebos because my period makes me want to kill myself. and make sure of hormones, dysphoria, stress, anxiety,  bleeding through most of my clothes no matter how often I change the tampon, excruciating pains so bad that when I had kidney stones I ignored it for hours thinking they were period cramps. A cocktail of suffering. and even though I haven't been taking the placebos, almost every single brand of birth control I've tried has done nothing to stop them. I'm not entirely sure if that's actually part of the birth control's fault. I don't know if that means it would actually stop pregnancy. but I live in Texas. it's too dangerous to even think about that here. it's dangerous for me to even have birth control.

 so, I told him no. I told him the same way I tell everyone. I've tried it, I really have. it just makes me sooooo sick. the side effects are just too much. I can't handle it. please, for the love of God, where a condom.  he Didn't. he didn't even bring one. I was really thinking about buying something to keep in the Airbnb with me in case some asshole like him did this.  I just ran out of money. it was either a pack of condoms or toothpaste. and he had the audacity to get on to me about sleeping with other people, about the possibility of spreading stds. he said this while his raw dick was inside me, burning my yeast infection.

 right from the beginning, I could tell he was too clingy. he wanted to see me everyday of my vacation. sounds good for the bank, but every second I talk to him I hated him more. he's one of those guys the fancies himself a dom  to the point where they don't give a shit about what you’re experiencing.  they take so much joy out of people being in pain. they don't care if you like it or not. he had me write him for a little bit, constantly giving orders. that's another thing guys like him like to do. give orders. boss people around. I hate being bossed around so much. I like it when B------- does it, but he's nice. he doesn't say it in a mean, Snappy way.

 I rode him for a little bit, honestly not that long. and between riding him, of course you wanted me to suck his dick. that's all men ever want. I get it, it feels good. but it's so fucking boring.  it has been gone for very long at all before he wanted to stick it in my ass. and I was pretty tipsy at this point and I did remember how much I had left anal when I was with t-----. I like anal. I know guys will go wild if I ever told them that. and I wouldn't mind, the problem is I know they'll be rough. I know they'll just shove their whole cock and instead of giving me a chance. he had me kneel in the couch, put my face down flat on the cushion, ass in the air. had me rub my own asshole With Lube as well as basically give up a handjob to lube up his dick.

 then, push my face into the cushion and just stuck it directly in my ass.

 like I said, they don't give a shit about being gentle.

 I tried to squirm away, try to make it very clear that I was in pain. he didn't really care. of course he didn't. he kept telling me to stop moving away.  eventually, after I had gotten used to it, it didn't hurt anymore. but I can't stand it when they just go all the way like that. a 65 year old man should know better.  he fucked me in the ass for a little bit. I don't know how long. it's hard to tell since I was pretty tipsy.  randomly, he pulled out and demanded I take him to the bathroom and wash his cock off. said something about how it's very important that you always wash a cock off after anal before doing anything else with it. I feel like that was obvious, but whatever. that's the most care he showed me this entire time and it's almost 3:00 at this point. I  wash his dick off in the sink like  he said, they need demanded that we go back out to the couch and I suck his dick again.

 because of course.

 Because that's all men can never think of.

 he got a call from his daughter. he was so quick to tell her that he would call her back. he had me  drink even more. he wanted me to finish off the entire class and I really didn't want to. I knew I was already getting to the point where would be too much. I didn't want to vomit like I had a T------'s house. like I had at his house. I honestly wanted to be in control of myself. and I can feel myself starting to spin.

 he took his conference call at 3:00  with me in between his knees. because of course he did. Don't get me wrong, that's kind of hot. but at this point he had already been here for an hour and a half and I wanted him to leave. I didn't like him. I don't want to spend any more time with him. I wanted to go to sleep because I’d  had too much alcohol. he answered the call, wanted me to keep sucking his dick. I did for a little while, but again it's so boring. it was so boring and I was starting to get dizzy. I  Got up to go pee  and tried to just sit on the couch next to him. just worked for a few minutes before he demanded that I get between his knees and start sucking him again.

 I did it for a while. I guess it was lucky that I was drunk to the point where my jaw didn't hurt, because  that definitely starts to happen  after too long. it did get to the point, though, or I got so bored and so tired and so dizzy that I just laid my head down on his knees. I close my eyes in the entire world was spinning and I swore to God that I might puke right then and there all over him. maybe I should have. maybe that would have made it end.  but maybe he wouldn't have paid me.  he let me rest for a few seconds, then had me right back on his dick again. selfish  bastard.  there was no way he couldn't  have seen that I was pretty drunk.

 that call lasted for an hour. I sucked him almost the whole time. how is that even pleasurable? how did he not get bored? that's so much time. after he finally got off the phone,  he demanded we go upstairs. laying down on the bed, demanded I rode him again.  that also didn't last Very long. soon enough, we were using more lube and he was sticking it in my ass again. he didn't even wait for me to adjust, this time. even more brutal.  I wanted to be over so badly. I was so sick of him. he just wouldn't leave. so clingy. I made a sexy show of begging him to cum in my ass.  it worked, and finally we were both laying in bed and the sex was over. I wanted to go to sleep so badly, but he just kept asking me questions, kept trying to talk to me, kept pretending like we were a couple or something.

 he made a big deal about how he didn't want me to see anybody else. and I told him flat out that that wasn't going to happen. I told him I had people in A----- and I was planning on seeing them again. I told him I had somebody coming the next morning.  I actually had two people planned For tomorrow, but I only told him one. and he was even upset with just that. he made a big deal about it. demanding that I was his and only his because he was putting so much effort into me. as of taking what you want and leaving behind $250  is that much effort.  as if an hour-long blowjob is that much effort.

and then he was talking about how he was going to fly me up there. but he's so stingy, too. talking about how if he bought my plane tickets, I would have to figure out where to stay and then I wouldn't be making any money he would just expect me to be his and his alone for the weekend. I couldn't spend any time with anybody else, I would have to be at his disposal. but he wasn't going to pay me. my compensation would be the tickets to come see him. because I guess he's God's gift to this earth. or at least his dick is,   at least in his eyes.

 and how could it not have been clear that I wanted to go to sleep? he got me drunk, laid me in bed after fucking me, I had my eyes closed. but no, he had to just shove his fingers inside me. reminded me a lot of tommy. he fingered me over and over, and then like him always rubs so hard. always rub the clit raw. I don't understand why they always want me to be in pain. eventually, he stuck two fingers up my ass. he's talking about trying to fist me, even though I kept telling him I don't want to do that. kept talking about how I took his dick so easily that  he thought I could take his hand fine. he fingered my asshole so roughly that I shit the bed.  I feel like that's actually pretty common. but that might just be because I listen to too many drag queens talk about the sex they have. after that, of course he was ready to leave. after embarrassing me like that.

 I had put down a towel cuz I know I squirt so much. he didn't laid me down even close to it. the bed sheets were complete mess and of course they soaked through to the little fluffy thing that the Airbnb owner had underneath them but above the mattress. which I guess was good cuz that means the mattress  didn't get stained.  of course I immediately cleaned up the mess and through the sheets in the wash. the big squishy thing went in after. it was so big though, that the washer flooded. I had to use all the towels I had just washed to clean it up.

He Stayed until almost 6:00.

 that is way too long for only $250.

 and after he left, after I went to go take a pee to try and not get a UTI on top of my yeast infection, I saw the blood. makes sense.  my asshole hurts so bad. and I've got two more appointments tomorrow. 

Total Earned: $2,050

Body Count: 9

Dick Pics: 10

Sex Ranking:

B------

Him

T-----

P------

F-----

R--

T-----

D--

M---

[earthlysorrows]

Perfidy - Chapter 9

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x female!reader

Word Count: 10.2k

***WARNINGS: Extreme belittlement, arson, suicidal thoughts, mentions of blood, graphic descriptions of violence involving weapons, main character death, NSFW 18+, Unprotected Sex. ***

A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @gvfgroopie19 !!! 🎉

Thank you @capturethechaos for being my source of encouragement and editor of my fuck ups during all of this. I hope you all enjoyed my little story, but keep an eye out for the epilogue!

Masterpost

The clatter of sticks sent a thin dust rising from the ground giving a fresh coat of earth to your ankles. Unable to think, you simply stared ahead of you at the silhouette of a woman. She was familiar, a tad shorter than you were with golden blonde hair right above her shoulders. She wore a pair of light wash, loose boyfriend jeans  that flipped upwards at the ankles. Her shirt was long sleeved and wispy, with just the front tucked inside her belt. 

 “Livia? What are you doing here?” Dazed and confused you looked straight at your late best friend. She was exactly as you remembered her. 

“Happy Birthday.” She smiled a half smile that brought you back to high school. Brought you back to the comfort of the endless rows of lockers. She nearly ran up to you, arms looping around your neck and you melted into that familiar sense of comfort. The feeling of home before things got crazy and before Mara plagued your life with her persistence. 

“You haven’t talked to me in months. How did you even know I’d be here?” You hugged her closer, nearly crying at the familiarity. “In the middle of the field nonetheless.” 

“Oh. Josh told me.” The small semi-smile grew to both sides of her face. You pulled away from the embrace, her shirt flowing in the wind though she didn’t seem bothered by the chill. 

Though at first you accepted this reasoning, with thought your head cocked to the side. “I never told Josh about you… Just Danny.”  

Snowflakes began to float down from the sky. Your exhales froze with the air, turning into light white clouds as they drifted away. Though you could see those little frozen specks of water, your eyes never left hers.

“You know. You have always managed to ruin things for me.” She grasped one of the ruby flowers beside you in her hand and sent it crumpling to the ground. “I’ve had to deal with you for some time, and it’s all led to this moment. Fuck, I can not believe I dealt with your insufferable ass, I should really get a reward.” She stood back and held out her hands as if accepting a reward. “This one goes to the witch with the most patience!” 

You stumbled backwards at the sudden mood change. Though confusion coursed through your veins, you tried your best to sort out what was happening. Staring her deep in the eyes for an answer, you weren’t expecting the color of the eyes to be just that. Blue, with dark blue sprinkling throughout. 

“Mara?” Shyly the name slipped from your lips and you took a few more steps behind yourself. 

“I hate that name so fucking much. Do you know how long I had to look for names before I fell on that one? Too long.” With every step you took away from her, she took one closer to you. “It was so convenient for Josh to think of a camping trip of all things on such a night.” 

“I don’t understand.” You murmur helplessly, like a wounded rabbit being played with by a fox. “Mara has lived here forever… You haven’t.”

She scoffed. “You’d be surprised how easy it was to manipulate those little minds of theirs. Since the truth is out I’ll let it all out. I got here just a day before you. It was easier than I thought to make them see exactly what I wanted them to see.”

Your eyebrows furrowed at her insinuations. “You’ve been… Making us think you looked like Mara this whole time?” You shook your head back and forth slowly as you wrapped your head around the idea of it.

“And it worked didn’t it? Rather flawlessly if I do say so myself.” She raised her hand to play with her blonde hair. “It was nice being a ginger for a while.” 

“But why?” Your eyes glazed over with tears of betrayal. With how someone you confided in for all this time was now so against you. 

“God. I guess I am going to have to spell EVERYTHING out for you then, aren’t I?” She rolled her eyes with an intensity you didn’t think was humanly possible. “My parents, though useless now, knew the exact history of your mothers upbringing. They knew about your grandmother's resistance to give your mom exactly what she wanted. So obviously, as one does when they’re power hungry, they moved right next door and set me up with you in hopes that I would get exactly what they wanted for me. Everything.” 

She was now running her fingers through your hair, forcefully pulling them through the little knots that the wind tied together. “I didn’t understand at first, why I was forced to spend so much time with the weird and annoying child that lived next door. It wasn’t until I was older where they spelled it all out for me. If I managed to be friends with you until your grandmother's passing, I would have it all in due time.”

“You greedy bitch…” You spat her way, shoving her by the shoulder blades as a way to make space between the two of you. “I did nothing to you but be a good friend.” 

“You're a clingy, deplorable, disgusting little cunt. I couldn’t get away from you for a full day to catch my breath.” She pushed back, snarling as if she were rabid. “A better adjective for you would be insufferable.” 

“Fuck you!” You shout, now pushing her as hard as physically possible, her shirt branded beneath your hands. “You spent your whole life knowing you were going to betray me like this? You’re a goddamn heartless witch.”

“And what a beautiful perfidy it is.” The half smirk that grew on her mouth was disgusting. There was no remorse behind her eyes from the pain she had caused you. There was only a glimmer of hope that in due time your abilities would be hers. 

You raised your hand up to slap her, but your wrist was caught in her grasp. She gazed upon the golden ring that rested on your finger. “Aw cute. Did Joshy make that for you?” She faux cooed, pulling your hand in to inspect it. “Too bad it only works if you’re wearing it.” 

Her lengthy fingers tried to make quick work slipping the ring off of you but you were able to get your wrist scorching hot before she got the chance to fully remove it. She threw your arm away and stepped back to shake out the heat from her arm. 

“Take it off. Take it off. Take it off.” Repeated in your mind in her voice, the muscles in your hand flexed to obey them. Until this point you were able to fight off these thoughts, push them to the side because you had the boys there to pull you out of the trances. 

It was harder now. 

Your fingers grasped the ring, shaking as they fought back from the thoughts swirling in your mind. This would be where Josh snapped you out of it and brought you back to reality, but he wasn’t there.

The ring was removed from your finger and now resting between your thumb and index finger. “Hand it to me.” Infiltrated your mind, and at her command your arm extended outwards. Your elbow was trembling as your eyes locked shut to fight this off, but you felt her quickly snatch it from you, placing it down her middle finger. 

“Looks rather marvelous. I never took gold to be my color, but I guess it does work on me after all.” She laughed, wiggling it down a bit to place the stones facing upwards. 

You had enough of the games and lunged forward, clawing at her throat as you used your strength alone and no outside forces to press deeply upon her arteries. She choked for air, and reached into her side. There was a metallic clink that echoed around you as she pulled a small dagger from her side, raising it to cut a gash against your forearm. 

It was instant, the way the blood began to pool from the wound and dripped downwards upon the soil. You sucked air through your teeth as you winced, retrieving your arm to hold it close to your side. 

“Why so surprised? Did you really think I wouldn’t at least bring a knife to an elemental fight?” Livia chucked at her own words. “I give you too much credit sometimes.” 

It was an idea, you had heard of cauterizing wounds before but had never thought to do it on yourself. Your finger worked its way across the wound, doing a rather shitty job of mending your skin together. However, it did enough to slow the bleeding down. 

🜁🜂🜃🜄

Danny leaned forward in his chair, glancing up the path you had once taken. “Hey Josh, what’s the time?” He called out, still staring down the dirt trail. The stars reflected off of the night sky to illuminate the opening. 

Josh stretched upwards and let out a long yawn before checking his phone. “About half an hour past midnight. Why? What’s up?” 

They all looked over to see the concern on Danny’s expression and one by one that little light bulb went off in their heads. “Guys. How long has it been since Phoenix left?” Josh stood to his feet, every single speck of exhaustion dissipating, completely replaced with concern.  

“Like... twenty minutes, she left a few minutes before midnight.” Sam chirped up, his thumbs anxiously twirling around themselves. The once calming ambiance grew eerie with the lack of your presence. 

🜁🜂🜃🜄

While you were distracted, she managed to get behind you. Livia kicked you in the back of your knee, sending you buckling downwards to the dirt. The sour ground crunched between your teeth as little brown flecks covered your inner lip. Warm iron slowly began to intertwin with that taste, overtaking your senses. The small rocks cut up your hands as you braced for landing. While you were falling, you let out a blood curdling scream, one that traveled through the dense forest. 

Livia let out a maniacal laugh, clutching her gut to hold herself together “Send in the calvary!” She pressed her foot down upon your spine, locking you in place so she could lean forward. “Should have stayed quieter, love. You know I have no sympathy for those bastards.” 

You cursed yourself for your involuntary noises, praying that your screams got lost between the trees. For the first time in your life, the last thing you wanted was to see those men running to your side to help you. You had seen it already, the aftermath of the battle, and was dreading the possibility of it being a reality instead of a vision in your mind. 

🜁🜂🜃🜄

Their ears perked up at the high pitched echo of a faint scream in the distant woods. They all looked upon one another, and without hesitation took off in a sprint up the trail. Josh was frantic, nearly tripping over the flat ground as he tried to remember where the sound of desperation originated from.  

Jake found your shoeprints in the soil and waved over the other guys. They were now all trying to follow your trail. Eventually, Jake threw out his arm to stop everyone else from walking. He used his free hand to point forward. You were there on your stomach before their very eyes, being taken down by someone whom they have never seen before. Or at least, remembered seeing before.

Livia had taken her time walking in front of you, kneeling down to raise your head off of the dirt by your chin. “I could slit your throat right now, you know… But what kind of fun would that be?” She held the dagger against your skin. Up until this point you hadn’t realized the boys were so close, until from out of the corner of your eye you could see just the slightest glance of an arm peeking out from behind a distant tree.

Josh watched as you slowly shook your head no in their direction, yet the fear that radiated from the situation had him furious. He took a step forward, only to feel Jake’s resistance stronger. “Joshua do not be a dumbass, do you not see the daggers against her artery right now? One wrong move and she’s gone.” Jake spat quietly through clenched teeth. Danny and Sam sat in silent agreement.  

Sam raised his hand, and though Jake glared at the movement he allowed his motions. The four of them watched as the trees on the opposite side of the field began to sway and crackle. 

The remainder of the autumn leaves blew in a wave towards Livia, her head swiveled at the dancing forest. “And would you look at that princess, your knights are finally here.” 

The silver blade that was once kissing your neck was removed as she stood to face where she believed they were, her back fully turned towards their true location. 

It gave them enough time to sneak closer, yet the leaves beneath their feet gave them away. “So you want to play games?” She spoke with a casual tone, back still turned towards them “Well… game on.” 

With their focus on you, they didn’t notice when Livia dipped out into the forest to disappear. Josh ran over to your side immediately, helping you stand to your feet and doing a once over to ensure you were okay. The rest came to your side shortly after. 

Though you were off the ground, you were stuck in a trance, believing that she was still overtaking you. You could feel her foot pressing further and further against your spine. You could hear it cracking out of place like a glow stick as she pressed down harder. You looked back over to the boys for help but they were gone. Everything was gone. The trees were replaced with a solid darkness that no light could break through.

She leaned forward to grab hold of your hair, pulling your neck backwards with a force so strong your neck ached. “I don’t have all night to play these games with all of you. Though they are fun.” 

She could feel Josh’s energy approaching you, attempting to draw you out of your pain ridden trance. She left you locked to the ground with a weight so strong upon your body you had to focus on every single breath you took. Josh was your anchor, and it was finally time for him to get a taste of what he continued to pull you from time and time again. Livia focused her energy on him now. 

“Oh Joshy… Coming to delay the inevitable for your little damsel in distress I see.” Josh could nearly feel her breath on his shoulder, yet when he sent his elbow flying backwards the air was all he managed to hit. No one was there behind him, “It’s a shame isn’t it? How she’s already dead and gone yet you still stand here.”

 Josh grew confused because as he looked down to the ground you laid still. Blood pooling from your neck with the end of the wound still holding the dagger. Josh knew for certain he had pulled you off the ground just moments before, but now his memory wavered.

The sight of you sent him falling to his knees, holding your head in his hands as the blood pooled down his arms rather theatrically. “No no no no.” He sobbed, glaring up at Livia who looked down upon him with a menacing grin. 

“What will you do now, Josh? You’ve never had a purpose in life until she came around…” Livia knelt down beside him, taking the dagger from your neck and holding the blood stained blade in her hand. She placed the handle between Josh’s clenched fist. 

“Tell me. Are you a fan of Shakespeare?” She began, her hand wrapping around his fingers to hold the handle tighter. Josh nodded his head, staring down at your body. “Then I'll be brief—O happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and let me die.”  

Livia began to push Josh’s hand inwards toward himself. Though she believed him to be weak minded and torn to shreds, he resisted her. He pushed with all his strength to get the tip of the dagger away from the skin that protected his heart. 

He was distracted enough now with the battle of strength that Liva focuses her energy onto Danny next. Danny had been the most observant during all of this. While Sam and Jake were frantically trying to find her, Danny had been watching as both you and Josh grew eerily still. 

A vision of a cold dark world overtook Danny, one where concrete replaced forests. Not a single plant was in sight. There was a feeling of suffocation that overcame him. Danny’s hands fell upon his chest as his breath grew heavy, desperate for the extinct oxygen in his surroundings. 

As he walked down the corroded street, the blood vessels in his eyes grew desperate for oxygen, swelling from the strangulation. He had to stop moving all together to hunch forward and control his breathing. “Why?” He huffed out, feeling her eyes staring into his back.

“I’d imagine someone like you would understand the need for more.” Livia knelt beside him. “What do you bring to the table Danny?” 

He went to speak, but it took too much of his air to do so. So in return, Livia answered for him. “Herbs. Pretty plant décor. In the grand scheme of it all Daniel you’re useless. You’re worthless. You’ve been surrounded by real ability and talent your whole life and you’ve never considered it?” 

Danny rapidly shook his head no, looking up with reddened eyes to stare at Livia. “Never.” He breathed out.

“Well then you’re a fool. You could help me, take down your brothers. You’d be useful for once. Actually be able to stand up for yourself instead of cowering in the back and cooking up some potion.” 

Danny reached his hands up to cover his ears, trying to find a way to snap out of this hell she had designed for him. “I’d rather have nothing.” 

“Nobility will get you nowhere.” 

Jake and Sam wanted to regroup as Livia was nowhere to be found. They walked back to the opening to find that you, Danny and Josh all remained stationary. Jake moved to touch Danny’s shoulder, seeing the all too familiar black eyes had overtaken him. 

“Sam, she’s in their-”

“Jake the protector…” She focused on the twin now, while the others were preoccupied with her mind games. “Always the leader that’s never followed. The lone wolf. How does it feel that your twin gets all of the praise and attention? How does it feel knowing that after all your efforts, she takes Josh more seriously?”  He was alone, isolated in a room with no doors as her voice traveled to him through the wall. 

He could hear the faint echo of his brother's screams through the concrete wall. His first thought was to run full force, throwing his body against the wall in an attempt to break through. “Let me out!” He cried, kicking at the wall once more. 

“This is bullshit. You’re bullshit.” He pounded the wall with the edge of his fist, and after many thumps it disappeared and sent him flying down to his face. 

“Is it Jacob? Or are you hiding from yourself?” She spoke so eloquently, in such a way you’d think she actually cared for Jake. 

Though her words were artificially soft and gentle, when Jake lifted his head from the ground the room was now entirely reflective. Mirrors coated every inch of the wall and ceiling showing only himself. He tried to shut his eyes yet physically couldn’t. It felt as though fingers had grasped his eyelids and yanked them upwards. 

Tears attempted to coat his delicate eyes as he was forced to look at his own reflection, 

Livia was having the time of her life watching them all squirm in the distance… Though heartless, she couldn’t bring it upon herself to fully overcome Sam’s thoughts.  

“And you Sammy… My beautiful boy. What a disappointment it was to see you give up your independence for her. I truly thought you were better than that, better than always being a little mutt. Do you think your mom would be proud of your lack of individuality?” He was all too familiar with her voice and simply ducked his head down into his shoulders as a turtle in danger would. 

“I can’t believe I fucking kissed you.” He spat. 

“If only you knew how much you’d prefer my kiss over what’s going to happen to you.” Her voice laughed between his ears. 

Sam shook it off, staring at her directly as she had somehow managed to appear a few yards ahead of him. “I'd rather die.”

“Careful Sammy boy.” Her physical body spoke, all while the others were distracted with separate conversations going on in their heads. “You might just get what you want.”

She went running to Sam at full speed, and he shoved a wave of air in her direction to knock her to the ground. Only when she hit the ground, her body turned to smoke. A rumble of laughter erupted from behind Samuel, and when he turned around her dagger was being held to his throat. 

He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing right above the blade.”How.” He demanded the answer. 

 Livia went to glide the knife through Sam’s skin“I’m hurt. You really thought I was dumb enough to pull out all the tricks early on?” Sam could feel it, the tip of the blade cutting down into his skin, and squeezed his eyes shut. 

She leaned forward, her lips only inches away from his. “I never wanted to have a soft spot for you Sam, but damn do those puppy dog eyes make me weak.” 

Sam let her worlds swirl around in his mind, looking past her to watch as Danny managed to snap himself from his trance. He saw as Danny frantically looked over to Sam, his hand raising in the air to summon something. 

Sam needed to stall.

With the blade indenting his skin, Sam pressed his lips against Livia’s and was amazed that she reciprocated so willingly. From the sidelines, Danny was putting energy into the ground below. Roots from the trees around him grew longer, shallow in the soil. One of the thick roots emerged from the ground and found home around Livia’s ankle. The root wrapped around like a hungry constrictor before pulling backwards towards the ground. 

She lost her balance, falling away from Sam enough for him to run closer to all of you. His first reaction was to grab the dagger, holding it close to his body as he ran over to the group. One by one he shook your shoulders, bringing you all out of your trances. “Wake. The. Fuck. Up.” He panicked, aggressively shaking you as Livia got closer to him with every passing second. 

Your eyes open to the chaos that had ensued, and your first thought was to shoot fire in her direction but your flame was pathetic. Sam came to your aid, fueling the fire with oxygen so when you finally sent the scorching flame in her direction. The distraction was enough for everyone to come to and gain some distance. 

Jake reached out, manipulating every ounce of water in Livia’s body towards her lungs as he had once done to her helper. She knew he was weak to her mind games, so she placed him in yet another mirrored room. Only this time, he had all of you to pull him back out of it. Though the distraction had her once again disappearing.

Every single one of you stood with your backs turned towards one another in a circle. Unbeknownst to you you were in the same lineup as the pentagram from your first dream. You remember that first ever dream, the first one where you saw a woman in the distance. 

“This is so fun. My little lab mice are scrambling through the maze. How do you know this is real? Any of this?” You heard her voice coo in the back of your head, and by the way everyone else looked around you knew they heard it too.

And then, right before your very eyes she appeared. Walking directly towards you with her blue eyes as vibrant as they were during your initial conversation. You tapped Sam’s hand, and he passed the dagger over towards you, and with every muscle in your arm flexed you gripped that handle as tightly as you possibly could. 

She approached you, her hand placed delicately on your neck. She leaned forward to speak but before she could get a word out you plunged the dagger deep into her stomach. 

“P-Phoenix…” 

Her delicate blonde hair inched back upwards and began to turn brown. The little strands of curls began to form from her head. Her blue eyes grew hazel and her facial structure shifted into a more masculine appearance. You looked down upon your hand, blood oozing out and over your fingers. The blood was real, but she was not. 

You looked back up into Josh’s helplessly hazed over eyes as you both crumbled to the ground in unison. You left the dagger in his body, hoping that the metal would help keep some of the warm red river of regret in place. “No no no no.” You panic, hands moving the pool of blood back towards the wound in a desperate attempt to keep him awake. 

Lubdub Lubdub 

“I’m going to be okay.” He whispered, breath loose and shaky with a faux sense of comfort. “I’ll be okay.” 

Lubdub Lubdub 

A tear of yours dropped down upon his cheek, intertwining with his own as you sat on your knees and held his head up with your hand. “Josh, you better keep your eyes open. You better stay awake. For me.” 

Lubdub

Jake, Danny and Sam all watched from their standing positions. Watched with hands covering their mouths as you mourned from afar. 

“Phoenix. I think I want to go home.” His voice was weak as a few soft coughs followed his words.

Lubdub

“And we will get home. Together. Josh, I promise you we will be going home together.” At your words, he looked up at you with his bottom lip quivering. He knew that wasn’t a possibility as every passing second left him more and more light headed. 

“You know I love you right?” He raised his hand to press it against your cheek, savoring the softness of your skin one last time. You looked over at his hand to see that the golden ring once on his finger was no longer there. 

Lub

“And you’re going to continue to love me.” You pressed, watching as his eyelids began to droop heavier with each slow blink. 

Dub

His thumb brushed against your bottom lip. “I hope we cross paths in another one of your many lives, phoenix. Reborn stronger than ever.” As he smiled, his hand fell outwards upon the soil. It took a few moments for his head to fall backwards further against your hand. 

There was a wailing scream you didn’t think could form in the depths of your throat, yet it shook the trees with its force. Every tree that your scream touched was sent up into instant flames. You pressed your hand against his artery to confirm the lack of pulse. 

You sobbed for the boys to help, and they came walking over to you with tears in their eyes as you desperately fought and shook Josh’s body in hopes it would magically reanimate. “Help us! Danny please! Do something!” You sobbed, tears dropping down upon Josh’s stomach. 

Then you could hear it. Her laughter through the crackling of flames. The heat from the fire didn’t disturb you, if anything it helped convert your sadness into rage. You stood up, head held high as you watched the real Livia enjoying the sight before her. 

“God. I knew the black eyes would come in handy, but I never expected this.” She shook her head in utter disbelief at how unbelievably easy it was for him to come to his demise. By your own hand.

She began to recite the incantation for the transference spell as she confidently made her way closer to you, expecting the emotions to have left you weak. Though your veins flowed with power induced rage you could feel some of that begin to extract from your body and flow towards her. 

In response, you outstretched your hand and let out one singular banshee yell. A flood of fire exited your palms and pushed against her, knocking her to the ground and leaving her bewildered. She was confident that getting this far in the incantation would leave you weaker than before. 

She miscalculated.

Her body was flung to the ground and with flames surrounding and smoldering the wood you nearly pounced upon her. The boys watched from afar, knowing not to intervene and instead watched from the sidelines as your hands gripped Livia’s throat. You rested above her, one knee on the ground in a kneeling position as you overtook her. 

Jake looked down at his twin’s stomach. The dagger still plunged deep. Going against every instinct he removed that metal weapon and began to walk in your direction, holding it loosely between his exhausted fingers. 

“I’ll let you do the honors.” Jake spoke up, his voice gravely and lacking emotion. 

You happily snatched the steel away from Jake and repositioned yourself so both knees were on either side of Livia’s stomach. “Fuck you, bitch.” Were the very last words she heard as you buried her own device deep into her heart. You pulled back out, a line of blood following and splashing back towards you before going in for another round. This time you made sure to twist the blade in a circle and watched as life drained from her eyes.

Red engulfed your vision as you looked back at Josh's lifeless body, the boiling of your blood urged you to continue to stab down upon her skin until Jake intervened.  He held  your arm back, taking the dagger from your hands in an attempt to calm your thoughts. 

You leaned down to rest, your chest heaving for air. Branches around you fell down to the ground, an impact so strong a puff of ash rose up from the fallen wood. Wind swirled the embers around your body.

Nature always has a way of rebalancing itself. So with the rain of fire falling to the ground, all you could do was watch as nature ushered those small flames down to Livia's body. 

Two  golden protection rings were sitting side by side upon her fingers. Gleaming and glistening for your attention, wanting to be back home. You didn’t hesitate to pull them off of her flesh and reunite them with your hand. Standing slowly from your position, you turned to face the brothers for the first time. Lines of red covering your face. 

They stood still in awe of your bravery. Your strength. Not one of them moved or tried to speak while you stared in their direction. 

You used your sleeve to wipe the blood from your face, taking slow steps over to Josh’s body. Pushing past the brothers was something you planned to do, but to your surprise they willingly stepped out of the way to grant you access. You fell to your knees and grabbed his hand, taking his fingers into your own to slide the protection ring back where it belonged. For good measure, your ring also joined his finger. 

“Hey… They aren’t resurrection rings…” Jake tried to sooth, his hand delicately placing itself between your shoulders. “He’s gone…” 

Not a single word slipped from your mouth. Not a damn word but only a glare as you looked up at the twin. It wasn’t until now that you realized just how similar their voices sounded. “Leave.” You demanded. 

To your surprise, they obeyed. They left the world sputtering and popping around you as the arms of the burning trees came crashing to the ground. 

“Illumina ei. Ignem meum ei da. Da ei virtutem meam. da ei animam meam. Illumina ei. Ignem meum ei da. Da ei virtutem meam. da ei animam meam.” You repeated the transference incantation as many times as you could before your throat grew sore. 

If someone could gain your powers through life, in your mind they could resurrect with those same powers from death. If the abilities were to grant a child life there were endless possibilities. Or, so you thought. You checked his pulse again and the soft thumping of his heart was still absent. 

Defeated. You stood to your feet, knees weak but still functioning. You walked around the field, with embers growing softer, and went to the first plant you saw. Your hand outstretched and in seconds the scorched flower straightened back out to life. You plucked the stem from the ground and made your way to the next flower. 

Under the soft glow of moonlight, one by one you brought the colors of the field back to life only to pull it from the ground. One by one you added to the bouquet. It wasn’t until your hands were spilling with floral adornments that you turned back around. 

You cautiously walked closer to the indented grass in the field to lay your flowers upon Josh’s stomach. His wound would no longer be able to hide the beauty of his body as you placed the flowers above to cover it. 

Silence. Silence wasn’t something you had ever enjoyed until this very moment. The fire had died down and the wind had calmed. There was only the sound of your breath that could be heard. The flowers laid still upon his body, and you sat to take the sight of him in. 

Death isn't something you were normally scared of. It wasn’t something that left you mourning for weeks on end. Though now you understood the tears at a funeral. Now you sympathize with tissues and handkerchiefs. 

A single tulip rolled off Josh’s chest and onto the ground. You lazily reached out to grab it, but another rolled off his stomach and onto your hand.

 You took a closer look. 

Your eyes had to have been playing tricks on you. It had to have been. Because the longer you stared at his bloody torso the more you swore it was softly rising and falling. 

When you looked away from his body and up towards his face, his hazel eyes were sleepily looking back at you. 

Fuck… you wanted to believe it, wanted to think that maybe just maybe you had transferred a part of yourself to him. That maybe you were strong enough to do such a specific spell. 

Josh blinked slowly, and with every lift of his eyelids you realized your idea wasn’t so crazy after all. He had been mentally weakened by the idea of losing you. He had been stabbed by the one he loved. Through it all he had become nothing, and with that made it easier for your energy to consume him. 

You lifted your palm, staring at the center of it to summon a flame but that flame never came. Your hand didn’t feel as hot as it once had. 

You heard a faint snap coming from Joshua, and you looked down upon his palm, subtly shaking. “Looking for this?” He choked out, the smallest of flame dancing a waltz right in the center of his hand, covered in dried blood. 

His teeth were still stained red as he smiled.

 This was a dream, it had to be. In every horror movie the bad guy never dies. Slowly you looked over your shoulder to ensure Livia had burnt to a crisp as nature had intended. It never occurred to you how happy you would be to see that sight in person, but she laid lifeless as the last bit of fire sucked the moisture from her skin. 

Shaking, you pinched the end of Josh’s shirt to lift it up past the wound. It was gone, only a faint brown line remained. “Josh?” 

The smile that happily spread up his cheeks forced a tear to fall down past his temples. A tear of pure joy. He couldn’t speak, just nodded his head in response to your question of disbelief. 

A tingling sensation overtook your legs, like static on an old box tv. It slowly spreads up your torso and across your arms. The way your face scrunched up was out of your control. The warm river flowed down the crevices of your scrunched cheeks and you leaned down to hold him close. 

His heart was beating rapidly, you could hear it with your head pressed tightly against his chest. You pressed your lips upon where his heart rested, savoring the pulse. 

“You really weren’t fucking around huh?” Josh’s voice mumbled, the sound vibrating your lips still pressed against his heart. 

He had let his head fall to the side, seeing as Livia's body reunited with the soil below her. She would later fertilize the fields with beautiful flowers that would bring more to this world than she had. 

The warmth of his arms surrounded you to pull you in closer. You succumbed to it, willingly lowering to lay on top of him. Though you knew the wound had vanished you still watched for signs of discomfort. He showed none.

Instead, he pulled your head lower and delicately pressed his lips upon yours. They rested together for a moment before he pulled away to reposition for yet another kiss. It was deep, passionate and drew a low groan from Josh’s throat. 

“Josh. Let’s go home.” You whispered upon them. He nodded beneath you, watching as you stood to your feet. With a hand reached out Josh allowed you to help him up to his own. 

The campsite had been broken down in the time you had been alone. All that remained was the dust outline of where the tents were and a cold fireplace. The boys were huddled around the car, and just as they were about to turn towards the trail to retrieve you and Josh’s corpse, you appeared. 

Josh walked out from behind you, your hand interwoven with his. It took Sam and Danny a moment to register what was happening, but Jake didn’t need it. Jake was running at full sprint to his twin with tears in his eyes. 

Their bodies crashed together with a thump, Jake neary taking Josh to the ground with no regard to how painful that could have been. He didn’t care, all that mattered was his brother was alive and though he didn’t know why, he was thankful. 

“You bastard don’t ever do that to me again.” He whispered against the crook of Josh’s neck. 

Josh just let out a soft laugh, wrapping his arms around his brother. “I can’t promise that Jake, but maybe when it finally happens you’ll go first so I can get a taste of my own medicine.” 

Sam and Danny had walked in to greet Josh, only looking up at you with quizzical expressions. There was a comforting stillness in the air. You could smell the subtle scent of smoke but nothing as extreme as you would imagine. 

One by one everyone sat in their designated seats, Josh’s head immediately resting upon your shoulder. “If you get blood on my seats, you’re cleaning it.” Jake teased, looking over his shoulder just to get another glimpse of Josh, though his middle finger was raised. 

You never thought you’d be so happy seeing the home you once dreaded moving into. The building that now brought you comfort after your supposed “stress free” camping trip. You were reunited with the scent of old furniture that you had grown nose blind to. It was also combined with the soft earthy aroma of cannabis and patchouli. 

Josh made a beeline to the cabinet of glassware, pulling a glass down for himself to gulp down a few cups of water. You walked over to him to rub between his shoulder blades. “You should go get cleaned up.” You placed your head upon his shoulder to whisper. 

Exhausted, all of the brothers made their way to their respective bedrooms, only to return to the living room with their comforters and pillows in hand. “Don’t look at me. Sams the one making us do this.” 

“I just watched my brother die and reanimate. I'm not sleeping alone tonight. I don’t give a damn if I’m an adult.” He pouted, laying out the blanket upon the floor.

Josh only smiled, taking strides to the main bathroom down the hall. When he couldn’t hear the echo of your footsteps, he turned and raised an eyebrow at you. “Aren’t you going to help clean me up?” 

“If you insist.” You tease, following close behind him as the others all watched your interaction. 

Isolated from the others, you leaned into the shower to turn the water on so it could come to a comfortable temperature for Josh. Your hands traced over the holes in his shirt so gently, as if the wounds still remained. He sat upon the lid of the toilet, you knelt down upon the soft forest green bath rug. 

“You know… I need a new nickname for you, now that you’re not a phoenix anymore.” Josh clicked his tongue against his teeth as he brainstormed. “My kraken… little Nymph.” He thought of it, frantically shaking his head. “I got it… The Loch Ness monster.” 

You looked up solely to glare at him. “Joshua, you are not calling me any of those. I’m still your phoenix.” 

His eyes softened at your words, and he hunched over to place his lips softly upon your forehead. “Damn right you are. Bringing me back to life through the ashes. How kind of you.” 

The reminder of death brought him back to that moment. “It was a bit more peaceful than I thought it would be. Dying.”

“You remember it?” You looked into his eyes, hands moving to pull his shirt up and over his head. 

“It was as if everything washed away. My body was numb, I couldn’t even feel myself bleeding. I just saw you, and then the darkness.” He ran his hand across what remained of the oxidized splatter across your face.. “I’m just sad I missed the good part.” 

“I think I’d consider you coming back to life, as the good part.” You leaned up to gently kiss Josh, a touch of desperation behind the motion. 

“And that’s all because of you.” Though you went in for another kiss, Josh stood to remove his dirt stained pants. 

A part of you wanted to look away from him, but you couldn’t stop yourself. The flex of his stomach begged for your attention as he reached across himself to open the curtain. Standing to your feet, you turned towards the doorknob, only to hear a scoff coming from behind you. 

“Where do you think you are going?” Josh was offended, his eyebrows scrunched inwards as he stared at your hand placed upon the doorknob. 

“Just making sure the door is locked…” The response prompted you to tuck your bottom lip between your teeth. 

Josh was mesmerized with you as you slowly stripped your shirt from your body and tossed it to the side. You shimmed from your pants and he watched intently as your hips swayed from one side to the next. Never before, did you think you would meet someone that admired you in such a manner. That took the time to just watch you doing mundane tasks that you would never think someone would cherish seeing you do. 

Once you were standing there nude, Josh reached his arms out, pulling his hands towards himself to coax you closer. “Get over here.” 

Obeying, you joined him in the shower, the warm water instantly washing away the anxieties locked between your shoulder blades. Josh relaxed as well, letting the trickle of water wash away the layer of dirt across his skin. The water below was murky as the pollution from the night ran down the drain. 

Josh looped his arm around your lower back to pull you close, his forehead leaning upon yours leaving a waterfall flowing beside your face. “I love you Phoenix.” He whispered past the trickle of water. “Why did you do it? Save me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You began, allowing your body to fall further into his. “You have been nothing but supportive, honest… and appreciative. Things I have never experienced before you.” His warm hand that wasn’t against your back moved to loop around the nape of your neck. “And because I love you too, Josh. I didn’t realize just how intense it was until I had to think about never seeing you again.” 

In response his lips fell against yours, his hand grasped your neck to desperately pull you in closer. The tip of his tongue slid between your teeth to intertwine with yours shyly. He inhaled deeply upon your cheek, refusing to part with you for even a moment. When he finally parted from you, his breaths were heavy.

To solidify your words, you squeezed a small amount of his shampoo between your hands and lathered it. He submissively tilted his head forward to allow you to massage small circles against his scalp, all the while releasing delicate hums of approval. 

He continued to let you care for him, to let himself relax enough to accept help from you. Though still stubborn a portion of your soul resided inside of him, strengthening the bond that was already well developed. The chill touch of the air had the two of you scrambling to wrap up in a towel and secretly make your way to Josh’s bedroom. 

As soon as the door clicked shut Josh lifted you against it, his hand rubbing up your thigh and brushing the edge of the towel up with it. “I think I need a way to repay you.” His voice was smooth as it landed softly upon your neck, his teeth nipping ever so softly at the skin. 

You were exhausted only minutes ago, ready to cuddle up in the warmth of his arms and finally get a peaceful night's rest. Though now, feeling his teeth grazing your neck, you were rejuvenated. You let your head rest back against the door, inviting him in. 

He quietly whispered a string of praises against your neck, following the skin down to your collarbone and then lower to your breasts. The warmth of his mouth encompassed your nipple, his tongue softly flicked at it just for the effect. When the moan spilled from your lips, he couldn’t help himself but to gently bite at the nub. 

“You like that baby?” His words cascaded out and around your breast, earning a firm nod from you in response. “Come on now, I want to hear that pretty mouth tell me how well I’m doing.” 

“I love it…” You breathed out, trying your best to keep a levelhead. “--feels amazing.” 

Pride overcame him, as his smile creeped up only one side of his face with your praise. “That’s what I like to hear.” The cool door was no longer upon your back as he spun you around and walked a few steps towards the bed. It was then that he gently lowered you onto the mattress, ensuring that the towel was nowhere near your skin.

You resisted the urge to tense up, to hide your body. Though to your surprise, it was an easy urge to hold back. Josh knelt down beside the bed, his hands sneaking between your legs to pry them open further. “How badly have you missed the way I kissed your cunt?” His eyes were locked on yours though the warmth of his tongue was radiating against your core, even though it wasn’t even touching you yet.

“Fuck…I’ve missed it so badly.” You admit, looking down upon him, your hand moving to grasp his hair to push his head a bit closer to get just one taste of what you were craving. 

“I think my good girl deserves to be treated tonight… After all you’ve done for me…” He caved, moving further to press his tongue flat against your core, inching it upwards with a delectable amount of pressure. 

He started slowly, savoring how delicious you tasted. It wasn’t until you began to let moans softly slip from your lips that he gave up savoring your flavor and decided to devour you. His lips locked around you throbbing clit, sucking upwards until your legs flinched. 

It became a fun game. He smirked as you muffled your sounds of pleasure to ensure the brothers laying upon the living room floor couldn’t hear you through the door, the soft noises only encouraging him to go further. Eventually his fingers slid inside of you, curling upwards at the same pace his tongue flicked upon your nub. 

Your head rolled to the side, teeth grabbing for the pillow beneath you. “I want to hear those pretty noises, phoenix….” Josh cooed from above. “Give them to me.”

With eyes squeezed shut, you shook your head no. Your response had Josh’s free hand sliding up to grasp your hip with force, digging his nails inwards. The sensation was too delicious, and one long groan released itself into the fluff of the pillow. 

Fueled by his success, he pulled his lips away from you and stood, letting his hand lazily stroke his cock as he stared down upon your nude body. “Do you want me?”

“All of you. Josh, please.” You beg softly through clenched teeth. 

The head of his cock was tracing slowly up and down your slit with hardly any pressure. Just enough to tickle and give you a taste of what was to come. Instinctively, your hips pushed downwards begging that the timing was perfect enough he would just slip inside.

“No need to beg. I’ll give you everything you need.” Josh gave a firm slap upon your clit, enjoying the wet sound that echoed off of it. It was then that he cautiously let his length slide inside of you. 

Unlike your first time with him, there was no water to help absorb the heat radiating from Josh’s body. Both of his hands were grasping upon your hips, and with each thrust inside of you his grip grew warmer. 

The warmth evolved from comfortable to scolding and you attempted to wiggle your way free. “Josh. Not immune anymore, remember?” You whimper, hissing softly as the pain began to subside. 

His head nuzzled against the crook of your neck after he leaned in. “You don’t want me to brand you?” He began, a playful smirk emerging. “Show everyone who you belong to?”

“Only use the tip of your finger.” You responded with a completely serious expression, so shocking that Josh’s head snapped upwards so his eyes rested above yours.

“Are you joking?” 

“Not one bit.” Your reassurance left Josh’s thrust running rampant. His thumb pressed against your hip bone, and he pushed down upon your skin. 

At first the pain was there and real but as he held his thumb there longer the nerve endings grew tolerant of the pain as they withered away. After it healed, you would be left with a thumbprint scar right where the hem of your panties would rest. 

Little did Josh know that while he was immune to the heat, the same burn mark mimicked itself upon his hip as well. A transference spell that left both members alive and well would result in an unexplainable lifetime bond. 

Josh pulled out of you then and rolled you over onto your stomach. His arm looped under you and forcefully pulled upwards to leave you on your hands and knees. He slowly entered you, savoring how you clenched around his cock.

“Tell me how much you love my dick.” He leaned forward to growl upon your spin as his lips made contact with your skin. 

“I love it so much Josh.” Your voices remained hushed, unsure of if the brothers had fallen asleep or remained restless. 

“Mmh. This pussy is mine, do you understand?” There was a possessiveness to him that wasn’t apparent when you had first had sex in the hot spring, though you didn’t mind it you couldn’t help but wonder what fueled those emotions.

“You’re  fucking sopping for me. Fuck, I know you can hear that. Do you like hearing it? How wet my cock makes you?” He nibbled at your earlobe. 

A simple nod was your response which encouraged Josh to continue. He sat upright once more, using his hand to wrap your hair into a ponytail and yank your head up. 

You could feel it, the build up as your stomach grew tighter. Josh wasn’t oblivious to this tension and reached his free hand around to rub consistent circles against your clit. 

“I need my phoenix to cum for me. Can you do that?” God, the way his words just melted off of his tongue, as if it were the creamiest of  ice cream.

“—So close, Josh.” Your thighs grew more tense by the second, and eventually you hit your mind numbing release. The only thing that muffled your moans were the sheets below you. Honestly though, at this point you were so on top of the high you could care less who heard. 

“Would my good girl want another?” He asked ever so gently. Lowering back down to press his kiss against the curve in your spine. 

“Yes please.” You whimpered, Josh’s slowed thrusts we’re driving you absolutely mad. 

“How can someone so selfless be so greedy.” Josh huffed out in amusement. “Do you want me to fuck you until you’re sore? Actually. I know that’s what you want.” 

He no longer wanted you in that position, so once again he was moving you, only this time he was moving you off of the bed and pressing your back against the wall. One sudden lift later and you were hovering right above his erection. 

Josh slowly lowered you down upon him, your nails digging indents in his back as your walls hugged his cock flawlessly. You could feel it pulsating inside of you, sending another round of arousal down upon him. So much so, that you felt the thin dribble of what remained steadily making its way down your thigh. 

He grew drunk with that feeling, the way he so easily slid inside of you. The way he could feel his pelvis growing wetter with each and every thrust. “I could fuck your gorgeous cunt for forever.” You heard him whisper to himself, staring down mesmerized with you. 

The words alone had you teetering off the edge, and without warning the high was overtaking your senses. With legs wrapped tightly around Josh, the sudden sensation had him finishing inside of you. You could feel each and every time his dick throbbed with his release.

He let his head rest between your breasts as he kept his dick deep inside of you, holding everything in. “Have I told you how much I loved you?” 

“Just a few times.” You responded, your head tilted back against the wall as you let him continue to hold you in place. Josh cautiously laid you down on the bed and grabbed the towel he had just used on his body to rest it under you. 

After you were cleaned, you still couldn’t keep your hands away from him. Only now instead of sexually driven you physically felt lost without him near you. You both laid side by side, legs intertwined and foreheads pressed against each other. 

“You need to keep an eye on that burn… Make sure it heals okay.” Josh let his thumb gently slide off the little blister that had already formed. 

“You know. Despite all of this, I’m happy I gave in and moved here.” The damp curls fell between your fingers as you brushed your hand through his hair. “Happy you’re here.” 

Josh closed his eyes softly and let out a hum as you played with his hair. “I don’t think I would be able to deal with you leaving, so I’m glad you’re happy.” He ran his finger up your collarbone and down your arm. A trail of goosebumps followed behind his touch. 

There was a knock from the other side of the door then and though you were calm the two of you flinched at the sudden noise. “Are you two dressed?” Danny’s voice peeked through the slight crack in the doorway as he clicked the door open. 

“No. Danny. We are not dressed.” Josh blurted out before you had the chance to lie. With rolling eyes, he left your side to move to the dresser and slip on a pair of gray sweatpants. 

“Can you put clothes on then? We would like to have you guys out here with us, cause you know… The two of you are the epicenter to this madness and all.” Danny kept his lips between the gap, eyes locked shut to avoid seeing anything he didn’t want to see. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to see her nude? It’s kind of hot.” Josh teased, throwing you a change of clothes as he said it. 

“Joshua!” Danny heard you yell at him on the other side of the door and let out a laugh. 

Josh shook his head as if he realized what he said was idiotic, yet instead he just corrected himself. “Fuck sorry, it’s extremely hot.”

“Just get your clothed asses out here.” With a final huff, the floorboards creaked as Danny walked back to the living room. 

Eventually, you and Josh were both presentable and stole the comforter and pillows from his bed to join the rest of the boys on the floor. 

Sam was in charge of the rest of the night, or more accurately morning, so he rummaged through the show options before landing on The Princess Bride which was the winner all around. 

Your eyelids grew heavier as one by one the sound of muffled snores grew louder as each brother drifted off to sleep. Josh had his arm looped around your side, nuzzled deep in the crook of your neck. The flashing of the TV illuminated the room creating a cozy and comfortable atmosphere away from the darkness. 

🜁🜂🜃🜄

You came to, expecting to be on the comforter padded hardwood floor yet you were laying in a meadow. Trying to wiggle your arms was impossible with the way you were being held down. 

The cold air was once again surrounding you, only now a few inches of snow had managed to pile up. Your teeth clattered together, muscles clenched to reserve some body heat.

“Did you have fun?” Livia giggled, her eyes locked upon yours.

“What the fuck is going on?” You whimpered, squirming as hard as possible yet your limbs still refused to budge. Livia's knees closed tighter around you, digging into your hips. You let out a hiss of pain but she just seemed to enjoy it. 

“Look for yourself, princess.” Her hand pressed firm against your cheek and pushed it against the frozen ground. Josh was laying in the field as well, only with blood still covering his stomach. The snow had accumulated on top of his corpse, soaking up the red liquid as it continued to seep from his wound.

“No.” You begin to hyperventilate, struggling until your left hand was finally free of her grasp. 

“Your prince isn’t coming back, and now that the transference spell is completed you won’t be coming back either.” She pulled the dagger from her back pocket and raised it dramatically high in the air as both of her hands clasped around the blade. 

Right as the tip of the blade touched your skin, you could hear him. The sound of his voice calling for you 

“Phoenix…. Wake up.” His voice was so clear yet his body remained lifeless. “Come on baby…”

Josh had felt the way your body twitched against him. It was violent enough to wake him from his exhaustion induced slumber. The flinches were  followed by the sound of your whimpering, and watching you in that state left his heart shattering like a glass window. 

You were pulled from your nightmare to see his honey brown eyes locked upon yours. The horizon of the sunrise aligned with his irises, illuminating the darker flecks of brown it contained. 

“You’re just having a nightmare. It’s okay. I’m okay.” Josh soothed, his hand running small circles against your back as his nose pressed against yours. 

“We’re home?” You needed the confirmation. To hear him say it.

“We’re home.” 

______________________

TAGLIST:

@gretasmokerising @dannysgf @st4rdust-ch0rds @softlikesilkchiffon @shutupdevvie @andromeda-raine-gvf @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @pippin-jay @lunaindigoraven @myownparadise96 @of-infinite-wonders @jakeyboiiiiiii @golden-van-fleet @tearsofbri @josh-iamyour-mama @gardensgatedaisy @gvfgroopie19 @hippievanfleet @lightmylove-gvf

[buckyownsmylife]

Count the Shadows - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky wants you to sit on his face.

Warnings: smut, a more dominant reader than I’m used to writing, pining!Bucky, all of the good stuff, second hand embarassment

A/N: so... this is a gift to @navegandoaciegas. She gave me the idea for the Graveyard series ending, and that actually inspired me to keep working on that fic that was supposed to only be a oneshot and then became the pride of my eye. I hope you don’t mind that I’m dedicating this to her 😅 It also allowed me to explore some new kinks that might be appearing thanks to her writing and so really, I felt like this had to see the light of day. But really, if it weren’t for @world-of-aus, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog​ and @awesomerextyphoon​‘s support, I probably never would have had the courage to publish it, so thank you guys so much!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Friday nights at Stark tower meant that something out of the ordinary was about to happen, and I’d already grown used to it, after being a part of the Avengers for the last two months. However, that didn’t mean that the prospect of a night planned by Tony Stark didn’t bring me a hell of a lot of anxiety, to the point where sometimes I’d catch myself wishing for a simple recon mission to take me away for the weekend. 

Despite all of my fears and discomfort, I’d been lucky so far. Not once had his attentions turned towards me, and he never even so much as called me to dance with him during one of the raves he liked to organize, so I was able to slip by unnoticed, seizing the opportunity to drink the good (expensive) booze and talk to my friends before retiring for the night.

By Wednesday that week, it was clear that the same couldn’t be said about the next event he’d be hosting.

“Say, Y/L/N, have I thrown you a welcome party?” Was my rude awakening on that fateful morning. Until his arrival, I’d been happily whipping up some pancakes for the supersoldiers and Sam, my morning run partners. The moment his question was processed in my brain however, I froze on my spot, looking up at him with wide eyes. “Oh, now, don’t give me that look. When have I ever thrown a bad party?”

Bucky choked on his coffee, and I immediately was by his side, lightly tapping his back to help him. “I guess this answers your question,” I joked, but with a serious face. Unfortunately, Tony simply rolled his eyes, too used to Bucky and I’s “antisocial behavior”, like he usually described, to give us any attention. “Okay, so maybe not bad, but if you’re going to throw a party using me as an excuse, I have at least one request. And it’s a dealbreaker for me.”

Something in my words truly interested Tony, because instead of brushing me off he actually turned to face me, raising his eyebrows in expectation. “So what you mean is that if I don’t give you what you want, you won’t join the party?”

I nodded, standing my ground. “That’s right.” Next to me, Bucky stood straighter in his chair. 

“Neither will I.” That brought a smile to my lips, and I turned to hug him quickly. 

“Thanks Buck,” I whispered in his ear, relishing in the way he always held onto my embrace just a second longer than I expected. It was always like this with us. Ever since I first noticed just how touch-starved the super soldier was, I’d find little excuses to touch him. And if I ever doubted my first assumption, the way he always chased away my warmth for just a second longer was enough to prove to me that I was doing something right.

“Very well,” Tony said after clearing his throat to regain my attention. “What’s your request?”

“Only the people who live in this tower can be invited.” I was expecting a lot of fuss from the billionaire, but surprisingly, all I got was a disappointed sigh.

“Figured as much. Okay, big shot. But here’s the deal: you’ll have to stay the entire night and participate in every game we decide to play.” I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. That sounded fair. “It’s a deal then! All you have to do is be here on Friday night, capisce? Don’t be late.”

I should have known something was up back then, but as it were, I was just happy that I was able to stop him from filling the Tower with people I didn’t know. Not only would it help to keep Bucky relaxed (and perhaps even allow him to enjoy himself for once!), it’d also help to keep myself relaxed. 

I’d never been one to enjoy big crowds, and I especially didn’t want to celebrate joining the team with people who weren’t even a part of it. It made sense. So when Friday night rolled around, it found me in a way better mood than I expected. I even accepted Nat’s suggestion and let her pick my clothes. I was feeling so great, in fact, that I felt bolder, brave enough to accept to wear a satin red dress with a deep neckline that seemed to be able to attract every man’s attention upon seeing me. 

Even Bucky seemed drawn to it. And I couldn’t deny that knowing I held that sort of power even to a man of his caliber, a man that attractive, made me feel even braver. But with braveness comes stupidity, and I was brutally reminded of that fact by Tony’s smug face when I heard the dare he had for me.

Listen, I would have never accepted the idea of fucking truth or dare if it wasn’t for this stupidly sexy dress. I mean, the powers that clothing can have… They can make you blind with clout. That’s the only way I could justify what happened next.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I argued, much to Tony’s (and the rest of the team’s) amusement. Each and every single one of them looked at me with barely contained laughter, with the exception of Bucky, apparently.

“Careful, sweetheart… The dare’s already on and that wasn’t very sexy of you.” Narrowing my eyes at him, I very carefully thought out my gameplay here. I could very well retreat to my bedroom and go to sleep. But then again, this whole night had been so fun, and Tony had been really nice to abide by my wishes to only invite people that I knew…

“Fine. I’ll spend the rest of the night being as blunt as possible as I hit on you guys. After all, this is probably the only way you’ll ever get to hear me talking dirty, huh?” And with a wink in Tony’s direction, I resigned myself to face the challenge ahead. “So, let’s get on with this orgy, shall we?”

Bucky’s P.O.V.

It’s not that I was jealous. Of course, I wasn’t jealous. It’s just… hearing her say those things in front of everyone else made my blood boil like nothing else. I knew it wasn’t my place to feel this way. It’s not like she owed me anything, much less attention. As much as I wanted, she wasn’t mine, or even close to that.

Despite being head over heels in love with her, I still hadn’t gathered enough courage to even ask her out for a cup of coffee - or anything else, for that matter. And the worst part was that everyone but her seemed to know about my feelings. Which made this whole night even worse, since I was pretty sure Tony had done all of this on purpose.

So I had to sit through a lot of “Oh, please fuck me”, and “I wouldn’t kick you out of bed,” none of which were addressed to me - and those were the least graphic ones. I couldn’t really blame her, since I hadn’t spoken a single word from the second this whole dare started, but still, I was sulking, and I knew it.

In fact, I was so lost inside my own head, that I didn’t even realize what had happened when she asked “Do you want me to sit on your face or what?” (which I’m pretty sure was directed to Sam) until a heavy silence took the place of the animated chatter that had been going on. Imagine my surprise when I realized everyone was staring at me.

“What?” I asked, my heart already beating out of control, looking from one face to the other in the hopes of grasping what I had lost in the conversation.

“You just said you wanted Y/N to sit on your face,” was the response I got, from no other than Sam himself, and if my heart had been pounding on my chest only seconds before, now it felt as if it had stopped altogether.

“You’re crazy,” I tried to joke, trying with all of my might not to look at the woman who was staring at me. I could feel her gaze on my face. It burned and I ached to look, to see what sort of expression she was wearing, but my anxiety was just too strong - stronger than my curiosity ever could be.

“I wish I was, man. But you literally just answered ‘Please sit on mine’ when she asked if she could sit on my face.” I was going to die. I was sure of it. My face felt so warm, there was no way I wouldn’t just spontaneously combust any second now.

The worst part was, I knew Sam was telling the truth. Because those were the precise words I thought the second that I heard the offer leave her beautiful lips. And now I didn’t know what to do.

“Fine, your room or mine?” She broke me out of my self-deprecating thoughts, surprising me so much that I automatically raised my eyes to meet hers, finding her looking down at me with a mischievous smirk on her lips. Was she joking? Was this part of the dare?

The room erupted on laughs and I forced myself to join them, praying to whoever was available up in the heavens that they would let me be and thankfully, soon enough, the conversation smoothly transitioned away from me and my stupid malfunctioning. Y/N didn’t look in my direction again, which helped with my task of trying to get my breathing pattern into a normal one once more, and in a half hour people were breaking up into small groups and going back into their own rooms for the night.

I figured it was safe to do the same. So I got back to my bedroom’s floor with my hands buried deep in my pocket, trying to figure out what the hell had happened that night, when the door to my room suddenly opened and a tiny hand wrapped around my wrist, hauling me as best as they could into my own living quarters.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

Bucky looked beyond surprised as he stared down at me with his mouth hanging open. I was tempted to tease him about letting flies in if he stayed like that, but I didn’t want to make this any more difficult for him than it clearly already would be. To be honest, I also had no idea how I’d been able to move that mountain of a man.

“What are you doing in my room?” Oh, right. That’s what he was concerned about. Fair enough.

“I wanted to show you something.” By the way he opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally being able to say anything else, it was clear that it wasn’t the answer he was expecting, but then again, he obviously wasn’t expecting me to be in his room. 

“W-What?”

I grinned, immediately curling my fingers on the edge of my dress before promptly pulling it over my head and sending it flying across the room. Bucky’s jaw dropped, and it only made my smile grow bigger as I quickly got rid of my bra before finally doing the same to my underwear.

“What? Did you think I would let you suffer?” The poor thing, he didn’t seem capable of answering at all, eyes the size of plates as he stared at my naked body, practically drooling. I ran my hands over my breasts, cupping them slightly before trailing further down.

“Did you think I’d let Sam learn what my pussy tasted like? Or Steve? No, no, no, James. This is for you and you only.” Burying a finger inside of me, I made sure to let out my loudest, most pornographic moan as I slowly thrusted it once inside of me before raising it to his face.

“See how I’m soaked? I always get like this when I’m near you.” Bucky actually whimpered, knees faltering for a second as he reached out to grab a hold of himself with the wall next to us, and I laughed before raising a challenging eyebrow in his direction. “What are you waiting for? Get on your knees.”

My breath hitched as I watched the mountain of a man before me literally do exactly that, hypnotizingly staring at the space between my legs before slowly meeting my eyes with a look of pure need in his perfect face. Jesus. How the fuck was I supposed to control myself when he was looking at me like that?

I had gathered the sense that Bucky wanted me, that much became clear tonight, but I had no idea the extent of his desire until just then. Until he looked at me with pupils dilated from under his stupidly long eyelashes, breath coming out from his open mouth like he was desperate for me, desperate to taste what I had to offer.

He looked like he would do anything I asked him to in that second, and the feeling of power that thought gave me left me horny as nothing else. So my first order of business was to command, “Eat me.”

The second the words were out, it was clear that was all he was waiting to do what both of us so clearly wanted. Two strong hands grabbed me from behind and with that grasp of my ass, he pulled me to him until I was in fact seated on his face, wholly dependent on his muscular body to keep me up.

“Oh God,” he was the one to whisper, and a shiver ran through my body as he licked my pussy from clit to hole before diving in as if he was determined to rid me of all of my wetness - knowing fully well it was an impossible task.

Bucky Barnes didn’t need any guidance in the art of eating pussy, that quickly became clear to me, but I still felt the need to grab a hold of his hair just to help keep myself grounded into the reality of this moment. The way he moaned against my cunt at the action, the vibrations running through my body and making me tremble on top of him, certainly didn’t make me regret any part of my decision. It was clear he liked that sting of pain.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

I was having a hard time believing this was really happening, even though I had Y/N’s completely naked body on top of me, her cunt spread open by my own tongue, her juices covering every inch of my tongue. I couldn’t even convince myself to close my eyes to fully enjoy her taste, too preoccupied with memorizing every little thing about this moment. 

And the second she opened her eyes to find me already looking up at her, I was particularly glad for my decision, if only because I got to witness the delicious smile that took over her beautiful face before she grinded her pussy against my lips.

“Fuck, you look so good like this. I could get used to this.” A jolt ran through my body at the implications of what she was saying. Before I could even fully process it, I was already responding with the only thing that occupied my mind then, “Please do.”

If I thought I would scare her away with my desperation, a delighted giggle immediately managed to calm my nerves. “Do you always say what you’re thinking?” She asked, still rubbing herself against me, so it took me a while to be able to moan against her wetness an honest, “Yes.” When I did though, the vibrations managed to be exactly what she needed to gush her release onto my waiting mouth, making me growl in excitement. She was so fucking sweet. My cock was so fucking hard it hurt, but all I could think about was how much I wanted to pleasure her, how much I never wanted this night to end.

Unfortunately for my plans, she decided to climb down from me, eyes drinking my kneeling position while she caught her breath for a bit before she threw herself on my bed, feet on the mattress so I’d get a perfect vision of her perfect pussy. Hypnotized, I didn’t even notice I’d gotten up and approached her until her voice broke me out of my reverie.

“Would you like to take a picture?” I knew she was joking, but there was no way I’d miss the slightest possibility of getting at least a permanent reminder of this night, so I answered as truthfully as possible yet again, “Of course. Would you let me take one?”

I was expecting her to laugh it off and move this along, but once more her answer surprised me. “Only if you promise me you won’t use it to jerk off to.” The confusion must have been clear in my expression, because she quickly added, “That’s what I’m here for.”

My heartbeat picked up as I struggled to process her words. “D-Does this mean you’ll want to do this again?” I watched as a small smile grew on her lips and she sat up on the mattress before reaching out to me.

“Every night, if you’ll have me.”

Another moment of silence as I struggled to accept that this was real, that this was really happening. 

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t contain my delighted giggles at the lovestruck expression on Bucky’s eyes. But my need for him was growing deeper every second, so while he stared I reached out for his jeans, quickly managing to unzip them and push them down until I could wrap my hands around his member.

“Jesus, you’re so hard.” Even without any actual stimulation, apparently just giving me pleasure was enough to get him ready for me. I could barely wait to feel his cock inside of my pussy.

“I-I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered while climbing on the bed and settling between my thighs. “I’ve been dreaming about this for the longest time.” Gosh, could he be any more perfect?

“Well, it’s happening now, James. Please, please, fuck me. I need your cock in me.” His lips looked wet from our earlier activities, and my gaze immediately fell on them when he gasped at my words and the feeling of his cock rubbing on my pussy. When I positioned the head and pulled him closer to me, signaling what I wanted, he followed without any resistance, his entire body trembling as he struggled to keep himself up with both hands on either side of my head.

“You’re doing so great, baby. God, it feels so good to be with you like this.” Apparently, Bucky grew tired of fighting against his own body, since he allowed his massive frame to fall just over mine, resting his forehead on mine.

“Fuck.” Hearing the word whispered so close to me, his warm breath dancing over my skin, while he was effectively about to do just that, felt incredibly arousing for something so small. “It’s like I can’t get close enough to you.”

In the search to feel more connected to me, he finally started thrusting, and then it was like I’d forgotten to speak altogether. Only able to hold tight to those shoulders that tempted me for so long, I struggled to keep the moans and whimpers inside so I could continue to hear the little breathless whispers that he was releasing, almost like he was speaking to himself…

“So wet…” It all only made me more desperate for the enchanting man on top of me, so beautiful, and yet so insecure of his own allure. I hoped after tonight he’d start understanding just how attractive he truly was, at least to me.

“Bucky…” I managed to whisper, calling out for his attention and earning it when his eyes snapped open to meet mine. “Bucky, kiss me.” I needed to feel those lips against mine, to have that one sweet gesture of entwinement that we still hadn’t shared. Apparently, he felt the same need, because in a second, he was onto me, mouth slowly prying mine open so his tongue could explore yet another part of my body that now belonged to him.

By then, he couldn’t contain his moans anymore, and I was grateful that I was still able to keep mine low so I wouldn’t miss the symphony of whimpers and whines, especially after he pulled away to catch his breath and his eyes met mine.

“Fuck, darling…” Each sound from his lips made my pulse grow quicker, my body warmer, that incredible high closer and closer to me. And still, because I needed to tease him, I found myself saying, “For someone who was so embarrassed about the team knowing you wanted me, you surely can be loud.”

Bucky hid his head on the crook of my neck, making goosebumps rise all over my body as he rubbed his nose against my skin, breathing me in. If I thought it was a gesture of shyness, his next words assured me that wasn’t the case at all.

“I want them to hear. I want them to know I’m yours.” The confession had the fire of desire burning brighter inside of me, and my hands slipped around his back, certainly leaving nailprints behind.

“Oh, is that it? You’re mine now, James?” The thought thrilled me to no end, but I needed him to say it, not only because I wanted to be sure there was no uncertainty in his feelings for me, but also because it made me even weaker for the soldier and the dominance he had over my body.

“C-Can I be? Please?” There was so much vulnerability in his beautiful blue eyes that the only answer I managed to give at first was the connection between our lips again, pulling him down to me so our bodies were completely glued to one another once more. My fingers buried in his locks, I pulled on them when I needed to gather some air, and finally give him an actual answer.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

“Hell fucking yes. We’ll be the hottest couple on Earth.” A shiver went through my body at the realization that she truly wanted this, that she truly wanted me. A sound escaped my lips before I could realize, and in fact, I only noticed it because she broke me out of my reverie by saying, “You know, everytime you whine, I have the overwhelming urge to just tie you down to this bed and give you a reason to do so.”

Shit. This woman made me weak. And the moment I lost control of my own weight, she took advantage of it, inverting our positions so she was the one on top, while managing to keep my cock nestled deep inside of her.

“Do you want to cum, sweetheart?” Hearing the filthiness that spilled out of her lips only made me hotter and hotter, my hands flying up to hold her waist as she began to ride me. “Tell me just how badly you want it. Say it, or I’ll leave you right here, right on the edge of bliss, and I’ll cum on your thigh instead.”

I heaved loudly, trying to force my own tongue to work, but the sight of her breasts bouncing with her movements was too hypnotizing. I would never regain full control of my body again, I realized, for as long as she wanted to keep me around. But instead of feeling lost, like I did when the Winter Soldier took over, all I could feel was peace.

She wanted me. She wanted my body, my soul, every part of me. Despite every missing piece, every scar. Everything anyone had ever done to me, everything I’d done to so many. And I’d gladly give it all to her, forever.

“Please, please let me cum, ma’am.” The name left my lips before I could realize, but it made her smile. And right then, I knew I’d done the right thing. Her movements picked up, her hand searching mine to guide my thumb to meet her nub, and as soon as I started rubbing it, she gasped in the most melodic of sounds.

“Cum for me, James. I wanna feel you cumming inside of me.” Jesus fucking christ. I didn’t have a choice, my body reacting to her calling like she was a siren and I was helpless. I felt helpless. It wasn’t difficult to see that I liked it, though. I liked being under her control. I liked how she pulled me apart and held me in place all at the same time.

“If you don’t take your thumb away, so help me God.” Her voice broke me out of my thoughts, realizing her chest was heaving with the effort to breathe properly now that she’d reached her climax with me. I smiled sheepishly before adjusting on the bed, right when she climbed down from my body, and a whine escaped my chest despite my better wishes, making her look at me with an amused smile.

“I’m sorry, I just… I kinda miss you already.” Her smile grew bigger, her eyes twinkling under the moonlight as she leaned over me to kiss me, and I couldn’t help it. I just had to hug her closer, have her falling on top of my chest just so I could invert our positions and kiss her some more.

“I want something that’ll show them I’m yours.” I admitted once she pulled away to gather her breath, and her eyebrows rose in surprise, but also interest, I could tell.

“Like a collar?”

“I was thinking more like a love bite, but I don’t mind.” Her giggle was the most adorable sound in the universe, I was sure of it. 

“Baby, I’ll let you fuck me in front of them, if it’ll help your insecurity,” she soothed me, and the thought of having everyone see us together, fully understand that I belonged to her, electrified me. “You’re mine now. You can be damn sure if anyone tries to flirt with you, they’ll have to deal with me. And I’ll make sure they know I’m yours and only yours if they try to chat me up.”

The thought made me smile, and I laid back on the bed and pulled her to rest against my chest, my hand instinctively coming up to play with her hair. “I can get used to that.” We stayed like that for a while, just breathing in each other’s presences, relishing in the comfortable silence between us, until I felt the need to break it.

“Can I kiss you again?” I felt her smile against my skin, before she pushed away to reach for me and connect our lips once more. God, I don’t think I’d ever get used to knowing I could have this anytime I wanted. “One more,” I begged when she pulled away, and she pretended to think for a moment before shooting me a mischievous grin. 

“Only if you come fuck me in the shower.”

The only thing I could think to say in response, as I watched her strut in the direction of the bathroom, was “Fuck, you’re sexy.”

[holylulusworld]

Smirk of the devil

Title: Smirk of the devil

Summary: He’s the devil in disguise.

Square filled for @spnquotebingo​​​​​​: (“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years.” – SPN)

Word Count: 1,9k

Pairing: Clubowner!Dean x fem!Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Ruby, Gadreel, unnamed girl

Rating: Explicit

Warnings:  angst, language, smut, unprotected sex, a hint of fluff, mentions of cheating (implied), sadness, toxic relationship?, unrequited feelings, Dean hurt the reader more than once, hopeful ending but no happy ending

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​​

SPN Quote Bingo masterlist

“Excuse me, miss,“ a young girl, barely twenty-one coos. She looks up at you with big doe eyes, batting her eyelashes. “I’m looking for Dean Winchester. He asked me to come here at nine.”

“No, you don’t,” anyone not knowing you would think you are trying to be rude to the girl, but this is so far from the truth. “Girls like you shouldn’t come to places like these.” you huff when the girl rolls her eyes. “You don’t want to meet up with Dean.”

“And you know this why?” she sasses, hands on her hips now. 

You can smell the strawberry chewing gum she tortured the whole time and can’t help but chuckle at her bratty attitude. Once upon a time, you were just like her.

Sweet, innocent, an intact heart beating in your chest.

“You’re not my mom. So, why do you think you can keep me away from Dean,” you’d like to slap her face at the ‘mom’ comment but bite your tongue. You never were a violent person. Maybe if you were, Dean would run around with one ball missing. “I bet you’re just jealous he wants me.”

What can you possibly tell the girl? That he will break her heart. That, once he has you in his clutches he will strip off your dignity, rip any pride left out of your chest and replace your former self with a drooling mess, begging him to do it all over again.

“Speak of the devil,” you whisper, watching Dean waltz into his club, the bunker, the place you first met. Those days seem a lifetime away. Back then you still were a cute and clueless girl, missing the way he tainted you with every touch and kiss. 

“I want to speak to him, now,” the girl pouts and you get the feeling she’s rather a girl scout wanting to sell cookies than her pussy to a man she won’t be able to handle. “NOW!”

“It’s your funeral, sweet cheeks,” you wave her off, walk past the girl to talk to Dean Winchester, the devil himself. Oh, how you wish you could tell him to go to hell, but you would only beg him to take you with him.

“Sweetheart,” he dips his head, shamelessly roams your body with darkened eyes, “you look ready to get eaten.” damn him, he smirks, and you get weak in the knees. “And you will—”

“Another of your fangirls,” you jerk your head in the girl’s direction, rolling your eyes. “Guess you are down to high school girls now, Winchester. Shame on you.”

“Jealous?” he cocks his head, watches you turn on your heels, ignoring your racing heart when he walks behind you, one hand on the small of your back. “So, how’s it going with your mysterious boyfriend lately?”

“Wonderful,” you grit out, already walking faster to brush Dean off. “I told you, no questions about my love life or I’ll quit once for all, Dean. Go, take care of your girl.”

It’s when he walks toward the girl that you allow yourself to admire his back, his broad shoulders, and, yes, his ass.

“Ogling my brother again?” Sam stands too close for comfort, but you don’t mind. “What’s the state of your on-and-off relationship? Who’s winning this round?”

“No one is going to win shit, Sammy. Dean wants to fuck every woman with a pulse, and I want a faithful man, period,” you turn your attention back toward the bartender who wanted to talk to you about the latest order.

“He’s hard to handle, I told you so,” Sam nudges your side. “Why don’t you lay claim on him and show any woman he’s yours.”

“Dean is not my man, never was,” you sigh, eyes filled with unshed tears once again. “When we met, he did anything to get me, and then, he dropped me like any other girl. I’m not what he wants, Sam. Dean lives for his club, Baby, and having sex with any woman he can get into his bed…”

“Bunny hole would be the better name for this shithole,” you grit out, downing your first drink of the night. “Give me another one, Gade. I wanna get drunk tonight.”

“Sweetheart, you shouldn’t drink at work,” Dean sits on the barstool next to you, grinning when you grasp for the next drink. 

He easily snatches the drink out of your hands, downing it in one go, slamming the glass onto the counter. “Your boss could catch you red-handed and fire you or slap your ass. Whatever you prefer.”

“Go ahead and fire me, Winchester. This shithole will go down without the manager keeping it alive,” you quip. “Now let me have another drink. My shift is almost over.”

“Almost,” he whispers in your ear, fingertips sliding over your thigh to hike up your skirt. “How about we talk about this at my office in the back, Miss Y/L/N?” you place your hand on top of Dean’s to guide it to his thigh, hiding you shivered at his touch.

“Don’t hurt yourself, boss,” you lean closer to whisper the words. “I think you had enough fun with little miss sunshine not an hour ago. I hope you checked she was at age, Dean.”

“Jesus, I asked her to come around for a job, nothing else,” Dean grumbles, hand moving toward your thigh again. “I don’t play with girls, only with women.”

“Yeah, I remember how well you played with half of the female population in town,” snickering Dean slides off his barstool to stand behind you. He’s caging you with his body, places both hands on each side of the bar counter.

“You were one of them, and I remember you were so eager to get out of that cute dress you wore only for me, sweetheart,” he husks in your ear. “Come to my office, Miss Y/L/N, and let’s talk about your behavior lately.”

“If you insist, boss,” you hate you follow him all too eager.

While Dean waltzes toward his office, waving at people, you fight your way through the masses, unbeknownst Sam is following your every step with his eyes.

“She will fall for him all over again,” Ruby sighs. The brunette sips at her drink while sitting on Sam’s lap. “Can you not tell your brother to stop breaking my friend’s heart? She deserves better for fuck’s sake. Two years ago, she found a nice guy and tried to quit only to do the walk of shame the next morning.”

“I can’t help two fools in love to find their way. I tried, Baby. Don’t ask me to talk to my brother about love again. He’s stubborn. You know that Ruby.”

“I know, still, she deserves better than a quick fuck at his office only to end up alone and weeping on the floor for weeks after he had his way with her…”

“Fuck, Y/N,” Dean groans with every thrust. “I’ve missed this tight little cunt around me.” you hate yourself for letting Dean in once again while he takes you apart.

What can a girl do when he has you pressed against the wall the moment he closed the door behind you. His lips on yours, his hands on your ass to heave you up to hold you against the wall.

His thrusts are more demanding tonight, his lips tender against your throat and his hand, well his hands hold you a little tighter. “Dean, fuck—we shouldn’t.”

“A little too late for regrets,” the devil moans in your neck, moves a little slower to drag his thick length against your walls. “You’re so wet for me, Sugar.” you whimper at the nickname. 

It brings back memories of all the nights he called you like that, voice hoarse and his eyes only set on you.

“Go to hell—” you finally choke out, still, you hold tight onto his shoulders when he starts to fuck up into you at a madding pace. 

“I’ll just take you with me,” he grips your ass tighter, moves you up and down his length while his lips do the worst thing possible – they claim yours in a bruising kiss, take your breath away. 

Dean moans against your soft pillows, ignores a single tear that runs down your cheek or that your cunt flutters around him.

“You’re mine, my girl,” he demands, hips jerking uncontrollably now. “Never gonna let you go. Just hold tight, baby.”

You grasp for his shoulders, dig your nails deep into his skin when you can’t hold back the approaching high anymore. A wave of pleasure washes over you and for a moment everything is like it should be—until it isn’t. 

His warmth fills you and you remember the way he ended things, right after he fucked you against the wall at his place.

“What if you let me fall?” there is so much fear and pain hidden behind those few words Dean stops moving for a moment. He just looks at you pinned to the wall, bare and vulnerable right in front of him. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Why do you always keep coming back to me?” he nips at your lips, hands wrapping around your back. “Why, baby?”

“Believe me, I’ve been asking myself the same question for two years,” you give Dean a sad smile, eyes filled with tears again. “Maybe I’m a masochist and like to get hurt. I don’t know why I let you in over and over again only to get broken.”

“I hate to break it for you, but we have this thing going on for almost six years,” Dean laughs when you punch his shoulder. “Maybe a little longer.”

“I know, dumbass,” you shake your head. “Two years ago, I found a new job and tried to leave town, but then you dragged me back into your life, and since then…”

“You try to escape me and my charming personality…”

“Why are you still here?” looking over your shoulder you wonder why Dean didn’t leave your place like he always does after he got what he wanted. “Isn’t one of your other girls waiting for you?”

“I told you that the girl was there for a job, not to suck my dick,” he kicks his shoes off and drops his shirt to the ground before he unzips his pants. “I want to stay the night.”

“Why?” watching Dean strip his socks off you frown. “Dean, you don’t need to pretend shit, okay. We both know I was just convenient again.” you turn around, not wanting to face the devil again. If you do, he’ll drag you down to hell again.

“Y/N, baby,” he crawls under the covers to press his face into your shoulder, “you’re not convenient to me. I swear, I asked the girl to come to the club for a job. She asked around at my mom’s place and I offered she can take over a few shifts. As a waitress, not for me to… you know…”

“How shall I know?” you hate that his warmth lulls you into safety. And you hate his arms wrap around your waistline even more. “All you do is to bang random chicks at your office. Just like you did with me not an hour ago.”

“You’re not a random chick, Y/N,” oddly Dean clings to you tonight. He burrows his face in your neck, not letting go of you until he feels your breathing even out. “Maybe you are the only girl I ever loved. I was just too afraid to keep you in my life.”

You can’t react to his confession as you are fast asleep. Dean doesn’t care. He needed to get it off his chest. 

“No matter what, you’ll always be mine, sweetheart. Come hell or high water,” he whispers. 

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll give him another chance to prove he’s not the devil, only a lonely man who messed things up years ago.

>> Part 2

Tags in reblog. 

[calltomuster]

Star Wars Fic Recs Part the Fourth

[first fic rec list] [second fic rec list] [third fic rec list]

Been a few weeks since I've done one of these and I've read/reread some great fics recently so let me share them with you now!

And I Fear Nothing by @maiseey (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 11/? chapters, 43.4k words) Picture this: I am sitting in the parking lot of my local grocery store, having just bought a load of perishables. I get the email that And I Fear Nothing has just been updated. What do I do: run home to preserve the food I just paid for, or sit in my car and read the new chapter right away? The answer is obvious, of course! That is exactly the situation I found myself in last week when chapter 11 dropped and I did in fact choose to read it in spite of my groceries, that's how much I love this fic. In this fic, Obi-Wan and Cody are raising Luke and Leia together on Tatooine, and they've got so much trauma, and new + old wounds, and love for each other and the children they're raising that it both warms your heart and tears it apart. But that's not all, this fic expands beyond just the small home in the middle of the Jundland Wastes and explores Ahsoka and Rex and their journey to de-chip as many clones as possible. I love this fic because it doesn't shy away from hard conversations, but it does it in a way that makes you want to cry and give everyone involved a hug. Plus, there are some fantastic minor clone characters that you will 100% want to die for by the time you finish reading. Cannot recommend this fic enough.

Obligate by @communistkenobi (gen, one-shot, 23.9k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin & Ahsoka) Just when you thought the Deception arc didn't have enough pain, this AU sees Anakin fake his death instead of Obi-Wan! My heart is physically ripped out of my chest just thinking about this fic, so imagine what it'd do to you actually reading it. Anything @communistkenobi writes is so well-done and I've gone through his works list on AO3 multiple times, but somehow I missed this when it was first posted and it was like a wonderfully delightful surprise when I ran into it the other day. So, so good. Highly recommend!

Moirai by damonkey (gen, WIP, 4/? chapters, 9.2k words, Obi-Wan & Qui-Gon) All I can really say about this fic without giving anything away is that it's a Phantom Menace AU and it's so intriguing. The author is very deliberate in having a vague summary and only tagging as the story progresses, so I truly have no idea what's ahead of me but it's so -- as I said -- intriguing that I'm happy to strap into the ride. Ahhhh I'm skimming through the fic and there are so many things I want to mention but I don't want to give anything away!

Almost Home by @frunbuns (gen, one-shot, 5.2k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) You know, every time I recc a Modern AU I'm like "I don't usually like Modern AUs but..." and then proceed to gush over the fic. I went and checked and I've recced a Modern AU on almost every fic rec list I've made! Maybe I do like Modern AUs?? Or maybe the fics are just that good -- and this fic is definitely that good. In this fic, the first of a planned series of fics set in a modern Star Wars universe, Obi-Wan is reeling from the loss of his adoptive father Qui-Gon and has to care for a young Anakin. Ooooooof. Definitely hits you right in the feels, this one. Love the non-chronological storytelling too!

Naked and Not Paid by biscuitlevitation (Obi-Wan/212th Attack Battalion, WIP, 6/? chapters, 14.9k words) This fic is essentially ~15k words of the clones thirsting over Obi-Wan and it is the funniest thing I have read all year. I'm not kidding, I just read the last chapter which features space-church-lady!Anakin and I laughed so hard I cried. I'm cracking up just thinking about it. I promise you will have a good time reading this fic. And if the tag "Obi-Wan Kenobi/212th Attack Battalion" puts you off, let me just say there's no sex in this at all, it's just thirst. And it's hilarious.

Full Disclosure by @trixree (Obi-Wan/Cody, WIP, 2/3 chapters, 7.4k words) ROTS AU in which the Force bonds Obi-Wan has formed with a few members of the 212th save them from the chip and Order 66, but it doesn't stop the devastation from happening on a mass scale and they all have to try and deal with Mustafar and Luke and Leia. This fic manages to be both extremely soft and extremely gut-wrenching at the same time, and I wish I could leave more kudos. Full disclosure (get it, little pun there for ya), I will be dying until the final chapter comes out. Time to go listen to Olivia Rodrigo and reread this fic and just live in my feels.

Thirteen Days by @ewanmcgregorismyhomeboy12 (gen, one-shot, 4.1k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) Post-Zygerria arc, Anakin dresses an unconscious Obi-Wan's injuries and struggles. Ahhhh this fic is one of my favorite Zygerria arc fics, and given that that's my favorite arc, that's saying a lot! Obi-Wan doesn't say a word in this fic, but his presence is very much there, if you know what I mean. And the descriptions of injuries here are pretty graphic at times, but it's so good that you'll want to keep reading even if you have to do it through the fingers covering your eyes.

brother, let me be your shelter by @kenobilovebot (gen, one-shot, 1.6k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) This fic packs so much tenderness in a short amount of words. It covers an AU in which Obi-Wan's issues from Zigoola never really resolve, and Anakin finds out when -- well, you'll just have to read for yourself. I love Zigoola because it is such an excellent whumpfest for poor Obi-Wan and this fic is great for that, but also highlights Anakin and Obi-Wan's relationship.

A Padawan At War (Again) series by @itstimeforstarwars (gen, 3 parts, 100k words, Obi-Wan & Anakin) In this series, Obi-Wan and Anakin are transported from The Phantom Menace into the Clone Wars and have to deal with all that comes with it: fighting wars, discovering a Padawan you never knew you had, dueling your grandmaster who apparently is a Sith Lord now(?!) and all the rest. This series is a great ride, and I look forward to every update. Note: the first fic in this series is a one-shot that was expanded upon, and it drops you in media res. The second fic is a prequel that shows how they got to that point, and the third fic is the sequel that shows what comes after.

The Desert Storm series by @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning (complete, 24 parts, 1.144 million words) There has never been a better time to start reading this series. If you read Star Wars fics on AO3, then you've definitely seen the Desert Storm series before, but maybe you were daunted by the high word count, or felt like it would be too much effort to go all the way to the beginning of a series but couldn't just jump in halfway. Let me tell you, it's 100% worth it, and now is the perfect time to read this series if you haven't already. This series is complete, but it turns out it's all just Act 1 of the larger story, which will continue in the Rise and Fall series. @blue-sunshine-mauve-morning is taking a break right now before starting the next series, so you have ample time to get caught up, and YOU REALLY SHOULD. Let me tell you, this series had me on the edge of my seat more than any other piece of media I can remember. With the most recent chapters, where everything that has been building for a million words came to a head, I would get so worked up after each chapter that beforehand I would have to queue up calming things to watch afterwards, and it still wouldn't be enough and I'd be too full of feelings to get anything done the rest of the day. Seriously, this series is amazing. And if you HAVE read it before but haven't reread, now is the perfect time for that as well. I've reread this series multiple times and it's so rewarding because the author sprinkled in so many hints as to what will come that you only understand the second (or third) time around. I know I've written a lot for this rec but this is a long series and it deserves it. Go read! Now!

If you like any of these fics, please consider reblogging so they can get more exposure! And if you noticed I missed someone’s Tumblr account, or linked the wrong one, please let me know!

[starlightrows]

8 — The Healer

The Queen of Tatooine Masterlist

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Pairing: Boba Fett x reader

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: NSFW, Blood and injury, medical, unintentional self inflicted harm, mention of disordered eating (Not graphic, but warnings still apply), oral sex (f receiving)

Summary: You get the chance to start working on a long awaited project, and get in over your head.

A few days later your breakfast with Talece and Mira is interrupted by the head of one of the construction and renovation crews to let you know that the sunless garden space is complete.

You’re so excited you can hardly finish your meal. You find yourself wanting to sprint down the halls to see the room. It takes so much self restraint to compose yourself and walk beside the rather stoic and unbothered construction lead down to the room.

Before the renovation it must have been either a ballroom or a massive storage space. Either way it was not well maintained. It was full of piles and piles of junk that climbed all the way to the ceiling, the floors and the walls were damaged, and it was unusable.

It had been your idea to gut the room and turn it into something usable and unique. You loved having a garden on your homeworld, and since nothing grows on Tatooine due to the excessive heat from the suns and the lack of fertile soil, this seemed like the perfect use for the room.

Boba didn’t have much of an opinion on it either way when you initially pitched him the idea. In all honesty, he was just happy to see how happy it made you. He was quite impressed by your ingenuity creating this room. Artificial sun and moon lighting in real time with the seasons, water reclaimer and distributor so that whatever plant you choose can be watered without wasting it, and holo panels covering the walls to make the entire space look like an enclosed greenhouse.

And when you finally get to look at it, it’s perfect. Rows of raised garden beds, the lighting and holo panels look so real you’re almost sure they misunderstood your directions and just built out a patio instead.

“If there’s anything we missed or not up to your standard let us know, my lady” the foreman tells you

“No no, this is absolutely perfect” you can’t contain the smile on your face “Thank you! Thank you so much, it’s wonderful”

The foreman has to hold back a laugh, you’re practically vibrating, you're so elated. In all his years of doing large scale projects like this, he’s never had a client seem so appreciative.

“I’ll leave you to it my lady” The foreman politely exits the room, leaving you to wander around and admire their handiwork.

As you walk you begin taking notes on your data pad, for what plants and flowers you want to put in which planter boxes. It’ll be a tall order to get all the seeds and plant bulbs delivered here, but once they’re planted and growing, this will be a sight to behold!

You land up spending the entire day in the garden, labeling planter boxes with bits of flimsy tacked on the sides. Talece brought down a tray of food and insisted you eat something, but she also took the time to let you gush about the vegetables you planned to grow and how beautiful the room will be when things begin to bloom.

When you’re too exhausted to stand up straight any longer you make the long trek through the palace back to your room. Only to lay down on the bed with your data pad to begin placing the orders for soil, seeds, bulbs, labels, and plant pots. When you finally power off the data pad, you’re so happy. You can’t wait for Boba to be home so you can show him how amazing it all is.

You hear from Boba a couple days later, he is finally returning to Tatooine, and is “very excited” to see your new projects. He can’t help but smile picturing you squealing with delight as you show him all of your little plants and paintings.

On the same day, your soil and seeds finally arrive at the palace. You almost feel bad for having guards and some of the stronger looking servants help you drag bags of soil down to the garden. You feel less bad because you’ve got your sleeves rolled up to do the heavy lifting too.

Once everything is down there though, you release them to go back to their everyday duties. You get into a rhythm. Slice the seam off a soil bag. Dump into a planter box. Distribute evenly, and rake to till it. Move on to the next planter box.

Hours and hours and hours of this pass. You couldn’t be happier. It reminds you of summers back on your home planet, planting the seeds that would eventually become your fall crops. That would later become your fall meals. Soups and stews thickened with vegetables, roasted root and tubers to go with roasted meat, and gourds to be cooked down into mush to be put into pastries. It’s too hot to have such a need for hearty hot foods like that here on Tatooine. But you still crave them from time to time. It’s one of the only things you miss about your previous home.

As you’re slicing open a bag of soil, thinking about soup, you put in just a little too much force and swipe the blade farther than you expected. At first you don’t really feel it. But then you see the colorful bloom of fresh blood staining your sleeve. You’re stunned for a moment looking at it.

Your hands are covered with dirt. Mind over matter you resist the urge to clamp your dirty hand down over the bloody wound. Instead you calmly stand up and go back to your room. Staring straight ahead, not really able to look at it at the moment.

You get back to your room and know without looking that it is still bleeding but not that bad. I’ve had worse. I’ve had worse. I’ve had worse. You recite to yourself. You start the facet in the fresher and clean your hands, some of the blood has dribbled down your arm into your hand. You scrub it away quickly so you can peel off the shirt.

You take a deep breath and look in the mirror. It’s bloody. But not bad. You figure if you can clean it well and wrap it tightly it’ll be fine. You decide you’re done for today and it might be best if you just clean it in the shower. Perhaps not your best decision, but people make poor choices when they’re in shock.

Eventually you are clean, dry, dressed, and have the wound wrapped in a clean bandage. The shock has finally worn off, leaving you feeling exhausted and in quite a bit of pain. You know you’ve probably pushed yourself a bit too far today, and not just because you got hurt. You didn’t remember to take breaks, drink water, or eat meals at all today. A nasty habit you’re still trying to break.

Tomorrow will be better, you promise yourself. You do the responsible thing and lay down for the rest of the evening, falling asleep to an older episode of one of the shows Boba likes to watch.

In the morning, your whole body is sore and the wound hurts pretty badly. You risk taking a peek at it, the bandage is mostly soaked through but not enough to stain the bedding or your clothes… your clothes from yesterday.

You groan in frustration, blood stains are difficult to remove if you let them set. Sitting up you feel a little dizzy, chalk it up to lack of food and water plus everything that happened yesterday. Today is going to be better, you remind yourself. You start by getting out of bed and drinking a glass of water from the fresher. There you already feel a little better.

Next you search around for your dirty clothes from yesterday. Just as you thought, stained. You decide to run some water in the bathtub and let it soak with soap while you take care of the wound. It’s certainly not a pretty sight, but you muscle your way through it and get it clean once more and wrapped as best you can. It’s not perfect but it will have to do.

Just as you finish up you hear a knock at the bedroom door followed by the door opening on its own. You flinch at the sound. Usually if someone in the palace needs your help they will knock but wait for you to bid them entry or open the door yourself. This can only mean one thing.

“Cyare?” It’s Boba! You turn quickly and dash out of the fresher, leaving the medical supplies on the counter.

“Boba!” You exclaim running into his waiting arms. He snatches you up in a bracing hug and laughs at your enthusiasm.

“I tried to com you last night to tell you I would be home in the morning but you didn’t answer. I figured you were asleep” He explains releasing you from the hug and pressing a kiss to you cheek.

“Oh yeah, I was really tired yesterday. I fell asleep with the holo on” you tell him with a bit of an embarrassed heat creeping up into your cheeks.

“You needed rest, can’t be blamed for that my dear” he assures you, tilting your face up to him to give you a proper kiss on the lips. The kiss deepens, both of you finding that you can’t seem to pull away.

“Stars I missed you” you say quietly when you finally have to break for fresh air

“I missed you too cyare. Let me clean up a bit and we can have some breakfast together” he lets you go completely now. You smile and nod happily. He kisses you one more time, and moves past you to go into the fresher while you go find clothes to wear for the day.

Suddenly Boba is calling your name from the fresher. Your heart fills with dread at the thought of what he’s just seen in there.

“What the hell happened in here? Are you alright?” He begins scanning you up and down with his eyes, zeroing in on the bandage on your arm.

“It’s okay! I’m okay” you assure him, trying to push past and clear away the medical supplies from the counter

He places his hands on his shoulders and spins you around to face him, carefully saying your name again with a warning air about him. His hands stay on your shoulders and he looks you in the eye when he asks again. “What happened?”

“It’s nothing really, I cut myself opening a bag of soil yesterday” you explain

He sighs and shakes his head “And what did the healer say?”

“I… I didn’t see a healer” you admit sheepishly

“What? Why not?” He’s appalled and a little frustrated

“I didn’t think it was necessary, I’ve had worse before” you realize his shock and frustration is not unfounded, any rational person probably would have spoken to a healer about this.

“Had worse? And you handled it yourself? Cyare, that is a serious injury” He says, as if repeating it would get you to understand the severity of the situation.

“Boba… I wasn’t welcome to visit the healer on my homeworld. I’m sorry, I didn’t think to ask for help” Suddenly you feel guilty and a little defensive “I don’t… I don’t know how to do that when I’m in trouble. I didn’t even think about it”

Then he understands. Of course you wouldn’t think to ask for help when you hurt yourself. Because you’ve been conditioned to think you would not get it if you asked. He has to remind himself that he too used to struggle with asking for assistance, and it’s something that he needs to be understanding about in this relationship.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry cyare, I didn’t mean to overwhelm you” he apologizes “I was just worried when I saw the bloody clothing and used medical supplies. I know you did your best with what you had at the moment. But now you’re not in danger, and we have the resources to have a healer that will actually help you. May I call someone to come look at it?”

You nod in acceptance and let him guide you back out into the main living space in your quarters. He sits you down in a chair, and asks that you just sit and relax for a couple minutes while he steps outside to give instructions to a guard or staff member.

He instructs a guard to go into Mos Eisley and bring back a healer, and a second guard to instruct the kitchen staff to bring a pitcher of hot water as well as breakfast. A few moments later there’s a gentle knock at the door. Boba calls for them to enter, and Mira comes forward bringing the pitcher of water and a tray laden with tea, toast, and eggs cooked the way you like them. She has a look of horror on her face as she sees Boba tending to your injured arm, and you cringe thinking back to your conversation with her the other day.

But Boba doesn’t seem to notice at all, “Thank you Mira, we might need more water if the healer asks for it later”

She gives a shaky curtsy and small voiced “Of course, my lord. My lady” before quickly leaving the room.

“So” Boba gives you a look “Cut yourself opening a bag of soil aye? Does that mean your fancy garden is finished?”

“Yes” you smile a little shyly, knowing that if he gets you talking about it you won’t shut up for the next half an hour at least

“Go on then, tell me everything” he encourages you, because more than anything, he missed hearing you gush about things you care about while he was traveling.

As you eat your breakfast you tell him about your new painting studio and the garden and all the plants you’ve ordered. Which things have arrived, which things you’re still waiting for. You tell him the truth about yesterday, that you had been at it for hours and your hand just slipped when you hurt yourself.

“Accidents happen cyare” he reminds you “I just want you to be more careful”

Just then there is another knock at the door, Boba calls for them to enter. The guard he sent into town has returned with the healer, and you’re surprised to see that you recognize him.

“It’s you, hello again” you greet him.

The man looks a little stunned. When you had asked him to make a remedy for chemical burn scars, you had said it was for your partner, not the kriffing king!

“Y-yes… nice to see you again… um… What seems to be the problem?” he asks, struggling to get his bearings.

Boba takes the liberty of explaining your injury to the healer, and invites him to come take his place so he can examine the wound and assess if it needs further treatment. While the healer works Boba excuses himself to remove his armor and get cleaned up in a different room of the palace. But he leaves two guards to watch over you. When Boba’s gone the healer looks up at you.

“You didn’t tell me your partner was the kriffing king” he hisses as he unwraps the bandage

“That was intentional” you explain “I can’t just go broadcasting to the entire city what my business is”

“Yeah but you might have mentioned it” he grumbles “would have charged you more”

He takes a look at your wound and takes on a look of concentration and disappointment

“What?” you ask with a touch of worry in your voice

“This needs stitches and bacta. You should have come to me or another healer immediately” he chastises you

“Hey, I did my best okay. And if you’re going to get mouthy can I at least know your name so I know who to curse in my mind when you stitch me up?” You bite back

“Darius” he replies “And you can curse me all you like, but you’ll thank me later when this heals without an ugly scar”

“Fine” you relent and let him get to work recleaning and stitching up the wound.

By the time Boba returns Darius has the wound rewrapped and is writing out instructions to keep it clean on a spare bit of flimsi. Darius gets markedly more tense when Boba is in the room, clearly he’s more intimidated by Boba than he is by you. He hands you the piece of flimsi and reminds you to be more careful next time before hastily departing the room with guards escorting him. Boba sends the breakfast tray out as well, finally giving you both some privacy.

“Now then, I believe I promised you a reward last we spoke” he leans forward to kiss the sensitive spot just behind your ear.

You hum in contentment as he continues kissing down your neck.

“Have you been a good girl while I’ve been gone?” he purrs

“Yes” you say with a little gasp and he sucks a particularly pleasant spot

“Go lay down for me” he pulls away from your neck and nods his head towards the bed. You get up quickly and toss the pillows up to the head of the bed and lay back.

He crawls up the bed slowly, pushing your legs apart at the knees dipping down to start a trail of kisses leading up and over your thigh. He breezes right past your needy pussy and instead continues kissing over your hips, and across to your tummy.

“You were so good for me on the com” he murmurs, dragging his nose across your skin, down from your belly button to top of your mound. He’s looking up at your pretty face, wanting to see every expression cross it.

Without blinking an eye, pushes his tongue between your lips and licks a broad stripe up, already tasting your arousal. He continues, slowly stroking you with his tongue up and down, up and down, up and down.

You can’t help it, you start squirming. It feels amazing, but his slow pace is driving you wild. Normally Boba might be a little mean and make you stay still, but it’s been too long and he’s loving watching you writhe in pleasure.

He maintains his long strokes but begins increasing his speed. Finally working an audible moan out of your chest. He switches tactic and pauses mid stroke, and begins fluttering his tongue just barely inside your dripping hole.

“Fuck!” You whimper trying to force yourself not to buck your hips into his mouth.

He knows you’re getting close and he knows just what to get you to the finish line, he makes one more broad stroke with his tongue and stops at the top of his path and latches onto your clit. Suckling and circling the swollen bud with his talented tongue.

Your whole body tensed with such force that you’re sure you might have pulled a muscle and moan in ecstasy as you cum on his face. Boba doesn’t stop, he continues to lap up your release all the way through your orgasm. When you’re finally laying back boneless with your eyes closed, breathing heavily he pulls away kissing back up your belly with feather light pressure until he’s hovering over you, kissing your neck and waiting for you to feel ready to open your eyes again.

Eventually you do open your eyes again, and place your hand on the back of his head to guide him away from your neck. He follows your direction and comes back down to kiss your lips.

“That was one hell of a reward” you say with a breathy laugh

“What can I say? I’m a man of my word” he shrugs laying down beside you

“You certainly are” you smile “I’m really glad you’re back”

“You really did miss me” he chuckles

“Of course I did! I love getting to talk to you about the garden and my painting and my projects. And I really missed getting to relax with you at night. And I love watching your weird holo dramas and hearing about your clients and having dinner with you. I just love… you” you find yourself admitting

He reached out, cradling your face in his hand, stroking your cheek with his thumb “I love you too cyare. I missed you dearly while I was gone. Thought about you every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to sleep”

Your heart soars hearing him say that. It’s easy to fall in love. Day in and day out, it just happens. It’s hard to admit you’re in love. You have to find the words to explain to someone why they are the most important person in your life and they give you unending joy even when you’re not right next to them. But with Boba it’s easy. It’s easy to be in love and it’s easy to say it.

“I love you”

Tag List: @cannedsoupsucks​ @otterly-fey​ @paige6768​  @littledragonlady​ @star-hoes​ @aeryntheofficial​ @xx-small-town-witch-xx​ @lokigirlszendaya​ @ladysongmaster​ @2clones-1kamino​ @cagrame​ @ashbyrhymer​ @adancedivasmom​ @4rosydreams​ @heybub​ @thefact0rygirl​ @elinedjarin

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Wilfords Demands: Simple As That

Summary- 7.3k Curtis Everett x You. Realization of your predicament really sinks in, but Curtis wont simply let that happen. Wilford seems happy to extend the deal, after all Curtis is his favorite fighter, always has been. Confident that things wont be as bad as they could be, you and Curtis settle into preparing for the new child. Divider made by @firefly-graphics​

Warnings- talks of pregnancy, hint of possible abortion (a sentence), smut. 18+ Only. 

A/N- I can’t claim to know anything about pregnancy except what research has informed me. So descriptions will be vague and probably not accurate. 

Chapter 4 / Wilfords Demands Masterlist

“Then my Dear, you better encourage Curtis to win.” 

Those words sunk deep as you looked into Wilfords cold ice-sharp eyes, the way he was grinning as if this was a game. But it wasn't a game, this was your life, Curtis's life and ultimately the new life growing inside of you right now.

And right now it was better to stay with the devil you knew. Your hands flew to your still flat stomach, pressing it lightly while gasping out. 

“But I'm pregnant, with Curtis’s child. You can’t give me to another while raising his child.” You pointed out, hoping that the facts would be on your side in this. 

Wilford pulled back with a hearty laugh that made you feel sick, wanting to vomit hearing it. Claude to snickered at you as if you were to stupid to understand. Your confused look clouded your face. 

“Girl, you think you get to keep that baby? No woman like you gets to keep them.” Wilford wiped under his eyes to clear the tears. You could feel the blood ringing in your ears now as panic settled in your chest. 

“You are going to take away my baby?” 

“Of course you stupid bitch, you all are not fit to be mothers. Other more capable women will take them, raise them.” Claude snapped out gleefully at your distress. Wilford leaned forward giving you what was supposed to be a comforting pat on the hand, which you pulled back to your chest out of his reach. 

“Girl, you will birth that child and give him up to us. I might even keep this one for myself. If Curtis wins. I only keep winners. I expect you to be good to whoever gets to claim you after the tournament.” He shifted to a stand, putting his chair back. You were in too much shock to even comprehend what Claude and Wilford were saying to one another. 

“Ah, Claude, you better take her back to Curtis. The pretty thing seems to be in shock.” Wilford sighed a bit. “If she wasn't a tail ender, I would keep her for myself. She is a lovely thing. I'm sure Curtis will do his best to keep her.” 

You just stared ahead now while Claude pulled you to a stand with a mutter. “It is a shame Sir. But you don't really want to lower yourself to that.” 

All of this was just mumbled nonsense to you, still rolling over what they said earlier, neither you nor Curtis were going to get to keep the baby. 

Heading back towards the rooms, Claude paused you at the door and gave a nod to have it unlocked. 

Curtis had been pacing the room. To watch him was like the large cats in the zoo, coiled muscles back and forth pacing, snarls of frustration escaping at his predicament. The creak of the door made him pause though and you stepped through, your arms wrapped around your midsection and a blank look on your face. That scared him. And when the door slammed shut behind you, you flinched and blinked suddenly realizing where you were. 

“Y/N? Say something.” Curtis finally broke the silence, crossing the room to grasp your forearms, looking for another reaction from you. Anything to snap you out of the silence. 

You blinked a few more times and opened your mouth to say something but the words seem to be stuck somewhere. 

Curtis drew you to sit on the edge of the bed and lowered next to you waiting. Finally you looked at him, drawing in a breath. 

“There's a tournament? And I'm the prize?” You asked it like a question, still disbelieving. Curtis’s face darkened with a nod. 

“Yes. It's a gladiator style tournament once a year. I swear Y/N, I'm not going to lose and let anyone else have you. It’s why I have been training so hard.” He shifted in closer and let his hand rest on your thigh, squeezing lightly. “I have been training for these tournaments for years.” 

You looked down at his hand and studied it a moment, his knuckles were thick with scar tissue, some still busted from use. Fingers dug slightly into your thigh, as if holding you to him in case anyone tried to take you. 

Hands of someone who lived a hard life, but managed to be gentle on you most the time. You knew you would have to tell him the next part. This you didn't know how to deal with. It should have been joyful news, but it was so tainted by the situation. “I'm also pregnant, several weeks now. Did you know… when you got me pregnant that I wouldn't be keeping the child?” You cleared your throat a bit. 

Curtis withdrew his hold on you, flexing his hand. “Y/N… I never was sure but I suspected. The other women I had with me, I never saw them again. I don't know what happened to them or if they were allowed to keep their children.” His shoulders hunched. “But you… Wilford told me you were going to stay. He told you specifically that he would be taking it away?” 

You swallowed and pulled back into the bed, to use the wall as support, your legs stretched out before you and your hands resting on your stomach. 

“He did, he plans on taking it as soon as I give birth.“ You say darkly, already feeling protective and deep sadness that you wouldn't be able to prevent this. 

Unless… the idea was so dark, it made your stomach churn. 

Curtis was quiet for that moment watching you, worried at how quiet you had turned. He made a move to touch you and you withdrew from him. 

“Please don’t… just this once.” You asked and Curtis for the first time withdrew from you and moved to the chair at the table, rubbing a hand over his head. 

Any other time this happened, it didn't mean much to him except that his current charge was leaving. But to hear that you had his baby growing inside you made conflicting feelings. Part of him was thrilled, for whatever reason he wanted to see you grow and need him. To cradle his child to your chest and whisper sweet nothings. Warming his bed and filling his life. 

The dread followed close on that feeling, because nothing good ever happened on the train. Even if he won, you were still going to lose the child. And Curtis didn't think he could handle that pain, but more importantly, that you couldn't handle it. Pushing to a stand, he pounded on the locked door. Hard enough for you to jump “Curtis, what are you doing?” The door opened once more. 

“I need to see Wilford.” 

The guard shook his head. “Not till your appointed time.” Curtis surged forward, pushing the man back into the hallway wall and fisted his hand in his gear to lift him off his feet, snarling out. 

“I need to see Wilford now.” 

Let him come. Came a cackle in a walkie and Curtis let him go.

He didn’t look back as your panicked voice called to him once again. “CURTIS! What are you doing?” You were trying to untangle from the bed when the door slammed shut, the last view Curtis had of you was your look of confusion and panic. 

Without a word, Curtis was escorted back to Wilford’s. Being let in, Curtis didn't even hesitate as he brushed past Claude, who huffed in annoyance. “Asshole.” 

“You can’t take her child.” 

Wilford was standing up in the engine. “Isn't she just beautiful Curtis? Every part of her has a function that keeps us alive and moving. I’ve worked so hard to keep her running so smoothly” Curtis went up the steps into the hellish thing, not finding the beauty that Wilford seemed to be admiring. 

“Let her keep the baby.” He started again, clenching his hands at his sides to keep from grabbing Wilford. He knew if he did Claude would shoot him in two seconds, but the urge not to snap the man's neck burned through him.  

Wilford finally broke from whatever he was admiring and turned sharply to ascend down the steps, leaving Curtis standing there. “You two can just make more Curtis. Why this time? You never cared before what happened to the women or children.” 

“Because Y/N is staying with me, you take away that child and you will destroy a part of her.” 

“Make her easier to handle then wouldn't it? No fight left.” 

Curtis growled a bit. “She isn't a problem now Wilford.” 

“Listen, I’m not an unreasonable man. You win, you keep it all. The girl, the baby. We will change the terms of your contract. You Curtis were always one of my favorites. If it makes you happy, then I can give you this.” Wilford finally said, acting as if he was doing Curtis a favor by the way he spoke to him.

“What's the catch? If I lose?” Curtis asked knowing there would be more and Wilford shrugged. 

“Then you lose it all Curtis, just like always.” Wilford stated, snapping his fingers to have the guard come back in waiting for Curtis. “She belongs to the champion, she will lose the child and the terms of her contract with you will pass to whomever gets to claim her. Like I told your little Sweetheart, don’t mess up if you want to keep her with you that badly.” 

Curtis glowered at him, straightening to his full height. “I don't plan on it.” 

Wilford looked nothing but joyful and calculating. “Just what I wanted to hear.” 

After that Curtis was directed to leave the engine, the steel door slamming in his face. 

There is no other choice, not that there was much of one before going into the ring ever. If Curtis was to keep you safe, he was going to have to win. With that resolve, he went back to find you curled up on the bed, knees pulled up, arms hugging around yourself. As if you were trying to fold in on yourself and escape. Lifting your head when you heard the door open, Curtis could see the relieved sigh that escaped you. Your tension loosening in your hold as you shifted to sit at the edge of the bed. “What happened?” 

“I just talked to Wilford.” He made his way to the chair at the table, easing down in it for a minute while the silence stretched between you two. 

When Curtis leaned down to untie his boots, you ventured with your next question. Playing with your fingers. “About the child? Curtis if they take me away…” Your voice drifted, cracking a bit at the thought even passing your mind, let alone saying it. “Maybe it's just better that this baby doesn't come, you know? Maybe it's best to just-” 

Curtis immediately snapped his head up, eyes blazing in anger as he barked out sharply. “Don’t even go there Y/N. You and that baby are not going anywhere.” 

You quieted for a moment, looking down at your hands after his raise of his voice and you heard Curtis curse from his seat, moving to grasp your chin and make you look up at him. “Trust me okay Y/N. I'm not going to lose.” 

You wanted to, you could see the resolve in his gaze as he made you look at him. 

This sadness that was all over your face pained Curtis and he wanted nothing more than to take it away. His grasp loosened slightly on your chin, your eyes still uplifted to bore into his, but you made no move to pull away from him. He did what he could only think of to do, lowering his head, his rough lips pressed gently against yours and his hands sliding to cup your face. You were so soft in his hard life. 

This time Curtis didn't demand you to open for him, he waited, the top of his tongue tracing the seam to be allowed in. The action spun your head, and immediately the tickle enticed your lips apart, allowing him to tangle his tongue with yours. Pressing you back as Curtis continued forward, you fell back into the mess of the bed, Curtis moving over you while never breaking the kiss till you had to pull away to draw in a breath. But he didn't stall, bringing his mouth down to your jawline and the curve of your neck, pressing his knee in between your thighs so he could slot his hips there to press his weight over you. 

A while ago you learned how pointless it was to fight against him and now at this point maybe you no longer wanted to. He could give you mindless pleasure, let you forget the mess of your existence for just a few moments if you just let him. Curtis’s fingers expertly plucking away at the ties of your pants and drawing them down, muttering for you to lift yourself which you listened to, raising your hips under him while dragging your palms to brace against his back, digging in your fingers through the layers of his clothing to hold onto him. 

“Do you promise Curtis? I don't care what happens to me anymore. But this baby, Wilford cant have. Please promise me.” You gasped slightly under him as you felt his fingers start to stroke you, seeking for you to open once more for him. Arousal pooling with each expert touch heated you to a warmth that couldn't be found any other way. He dragged your shirt over your head, kissing against the top of your breasts and drawing a nipple into his mouth to suck between his teeth while you started to wither at the sensations he was drawing out of you. 

“I promise Y/N, you just focus on growing our baby, m’kay?” He grunted as his hand covered your fluttering belly, not yet round or even showing. But knowing it was in there and for once he was going to get to see it all happen stirred something in Curtis. Something he never wanted or cared for before. Flicks of his tongue traced around your nipples, the warmth of his mouth was such a contrast to the coolness in the air, it drew out these soft little gasps that delighted the man. 

Your hips started to rock into his hand while he started to finger you, stroking velvet walls while he lifted his head to watch your reactions. Always so expressive, you fisted your hands in his shirt while your head tilted into the pillows with a soft whimper, knowing that you were close. Curtis was rewarded when your eyes glazed over and warmth flooded his hand while you clamped around him. “Good Girl, don't hold back.” He praised you while tilting down to kiss you slowly, swallowing the aftermath of your orgasm, the tiny whimpers of his name and your pleas for him to finish. 

How badly you wanted him to finish in you now. 

Curtis pulled back to yank his shirt off and shove his pants down enough to release his cock, stroking himself over you. Your eyes lowered to watch him and for the first time ever, you reached to wrap your hand around his length. “Oh shit Y/N.” His voice stuttered when you squeezed slightly. He hunched over you, falling to his elbow while you pressed him between your swollen folds, looking up at him with a bite to your lip. 

“Promise me Curtis.” 

Blue eyes that were once so damn harsh and cold towards you simmered heatedly. You didn't know how you could ever think of them as cold as they sharpened with desire. Curtis pressed his forehead to yours for a moment, whispering. “On my life Y/N.”  

You gave a slight nod at his answer and his mouth pressed against yours as he started to press into you. The stretch had you gasping though, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him down to press your mouth back to his, his hands held onto the side of your head as he started rocking his hips, dragging himself in deep to the place only he has ever been. Dragging against your sensitive walls, you wrapped yourself around him while placing kisses against his mouth, gasping whenever he dropped his weight on you and speared back into your heat. 

With everything going on, you let yourself enjoy being with him. The push and pull, the feel of his heavier body pressing yours into the bedding beneath. His heavy length filling you till you were clamping around him to keep him there. 

Your fingers curled into his neck, twisting into the short hairs at the back of his head, and Curtis continued pressing harder grunting kisses against your shoulder, his hands curling around under your arms and grasping your shoulders to hold you close as his hips ground into you, his pelvis pressing against your clit. 

The rush of it all, the feeling of him kissing you so passionately while he kept claiming you to spiral under him was so much. A cold fire in your belly and the flutters in you turned to clamping, trying to hold him to you while you came. 

“That's right sweet girl, just let it happen.” He grunted once more when your body under him locked, twitching as you dug into the back of his neck and your knees gripped his hips to rock with him. His hand loosened on your shoulder and pressed between your bodies, his palm slightly pressing against your stomach to feel how full you were from him and then fell between your bodies to rub your clit to bring you to arousal again. 

“Curtis-” You whined and he nudged your head back, sucking on your neck, pressing faster. 

“One more, that's it. I know it feels good.” He hissed feeling you buck underneath him. “Feel s’good, right?” 

You nodded your head hurriedly while he played you so expertly, all those other times he had grown to learn what made you wither and whine for him, the only man to ever make you feel like this. Which after the stress of the day, you needed to go mindless. “So-so good.” 

Nip of teeth with a touch of his tongue, had you arching, the room filled with the harsh sounds of his body colliding with yours and the squeak of the mattress underneath you. Your toes curled and you sobbed out, dropping your hand to cover your mouth to keep your orgasm from bouncing off the metal walls, but he jerked your hand down, filling your mouth with his tongue. Harsh thrusts turned to grind out his own release, warmth flooding you in an all to familiar pleasure. 

You dug fingers into his shoulders and dragged him over you, quivering underneath him while pressing your face into his chest, willing your heart to start to slow while his rat-a-tat-tat rapidly in his own chest, deep inhales expanding his chest and pushing you into the mattress while he gasped for air. Curtis went to move, but you clutched tighter. “Dont, please not yet.” 

Reaching underneath him, he pushed to an elbow and fisted his hand in your hair gently to pull your head away to look up at him. “I'm not, just be patient Y/N.” 

Curtis eased down enough so he wasn't smothering you, but could lay his head on your chest, his arms looped around your midsection. His hips kept your thighs pinned underneath him and his belly pressed against your waist, keeping you under him. 

“Soon I won't be able to lay like this on you, you know.” He pointed out after a few minutes and you slipped your hand tentative over his scalp and along the back of his neck. Another first he thought to himself while he closed his eyes to enjoy the way you were willingly touching him. 

“I know… I actually never knew I liked the way it felt.” You admitted, having always pulled away from him before after they finished. 

Curtis didn’t either, sex had always been a means to an end, there was no intimacy really in it for him. It was a necessity to survive, so he never allowed himself to enjoy it like this, it was simply good in the moment and when it was over, it was over. It never really occurred to him that it could be this simple moment of bliss. But feeling the softness of your body just cradle him so easily, your warmth envelops him into a lull of relaxation. Well, maybe he could get used to feeling this way. 

Feeling this way with you. 

“Curtis… I have to get up.” You said after a while with what he hoped was regret in your voice. Planting his hands against the mattress, he pulled himself off to lay at the side while you shifted out from under him to sit on the edge of the bed and reach down to grab something to cover yourself with. 

“Why do you do that? Cover yourself?” He asked, while you slipped the shirt over your head so that it pooled down around your thighs. You glanced over your shoulder, where he laid stretched out, comfortable in his own skin. 

“Why wouldn't I? It's not like I'm anything special Curtis. Also it's safer in the tail end to not get noticed.” You said while pulling to a stand and disappearing in the bathroom. Curtis frowned to himself, he could understand not getting noticed, but the other he couldn't agree with. He was still genuinely surprised that you were a virgin when you were brought to him. 

When you came back out, running your hands over your shirt and moving to crawl back in the bed, Curtis reached over and grasped your chin in his forefinger and thumb. “That's not true Y/N.” 

You blinked at him wide eyed, confused in such an innocent way. The corners of his mouth tugged a bit seeing you blink at him owlishly. “What's not true?” You wriggled into the dip in the mattress you had left earlier. 

“You claim you're not anything special. You are beautiful Sweetheart. Especially now that your health is returning. I'm not the only one to notice.” His fingers loosened and trailed along your cheeks that were filling out and were always so warm against his fingertips. 

You huffed a bit and your eyes went downcast while settling back in the bedding. “I don't know if that is a good thing.” You wrinkled your nose and Curtis reached over to let his hand settle on your stomach. 

“You are not going anywhere.”

First Trimester

Changes started so subtly. One morning your stomach turned at the sight of eggs Curtis brought that had you sprinting to the bathroom and over the toilet. You grasped the sides as you gagged over it, and Curtis cussed while placing the tray down, following you in to stand behind you, pulling hair back and rubbing your back. Once you stopped gasping and fell back to sit on your ankles, he let go of you and went to the bathroom sink to fill a cup with some water for you to clear your mouth with. Taking it, you swished some water and spat it out before handing it back to Curtis. “Thank you.” 

“What was it?” He questioned while giving the cup a rinse and reached down to help you to stand. 

“Uhh, the eggs maybe?” You took a deep breath just thinking about it and felt your stomach roll again while moving to the sink and grabbed the tooth brush. 

“Want me to get rid of them?” 

“Can you Curtis?” 

He gave a smile and rubbed your back once before exiting the bathroom, giving you some privacy. Going back out, you saw the offending pile of eggs was gone. Alot of it was trial and error. You soon learned that you had a constant craving for milk as well, which Curtis was sure to start adding to all the meals he brought you. 

You craved back rubs and shoulder rubs, which Curtis was good at you found out. As well as being so tired. All the time. You took several naps throughout the day, which at first you apologized for. Curling up in bed to sit whenever Curtis caught you dozing off. One day with a sketch pad stretched out before him, making lazy swipes with his pencil, he gave a shake of his head. “Sleep. You have to listen to your body and right now you are growing a person, no wonder you are tired.” When you started to protest by throwing the blankets off you, Curtis gave you a hard stare till you sunk back down, blinking back at him. 

“You are being serious.” 

“Aren't I always Y/N? Finish your nap.” He said curtly and went back to his sketch. The sun heated through the glass and the beams fell over you, lulling you back to sleep. When you woke up later, Curtis was gone. But his notepad was left, which when you got up, you leaned over it to see what he had been working on. 

A sketch of you stretched out in bed, your hair falling around your sleeping face. You could tell he had been practicing his shading as he did it from several angles, and one where you had rolled to your hip, sure to focus on your hand pressing against the slight bump you had.

When he came back, Curtis would offer to take you around the train as long as you weren't tired. At first you declined, worried about further run-ins with people like Grey, New Years Eve not far from your mind. But the more times he offered and you grew restless, you took him up on the offer. 

The greenhouse car was one you always looked forward to, the natural lighting in it for the vegetation soaking into your body, the air felt fresh from the plants and you would wander the aisles to attempt to learn from the greenhouse workers what they were growing. Curtis simply watched as you started to get braver, ask questions and help with the weeding, just wanting to feel the dirt. 

One day you two were sitting under the trees, Curtis nodding off in the warmth, and you were reading a new book out loud to him when you eased the book shut. 

“Curtis? I need some water.” You mentioned and his eyes snapped open, pulling himself up to sit. You would have just gone yourself to get it, but you knew he wouldn't allow that. So you stayed there while he pushed to a stand. 

“How about a snack to? You haven't eaten much today and I saw them picking the cherry tomatoes when we first came in.” He inquired. 

Giving a nod, he soon dipped out of the aisle to get what you asked for and you tilted your head back to relax against the tree trunk. But your peaceful moment was short lived. A shadow passed over you and a snickering voice taunted you to spring your eyes open and pull your legs back. “Well well well, Curtis left his little pet to wander around all alone?” Grey moved to a squat in front of you, a few of his friends crowding around behind him, all leering down at you while you tried to shrink away. Your tongue swelled up, unable to speak. When Grey reached a hand out to touch you, you pulled further away. 

“Don’t.” You finally were able to say, causing him to jerk his head back and laugh deeply at your attempt to put space between you two. 

“Oh you shouldn't be scared of me, I was your friend on New Years remember? Curtis is the one who beat you, not me.” 

You folded your arms around your legs to hold yourself away from him, but Grey wasn't allowing you to shrink away too much, his hand moving to touch your knee, grinning at the way you jerked. “Don't touch me.” 

Grey shuffled closer, the men behind him closing in further till the space of the greenhouse seemed to no longer exist. 

“You're like a little unsoiled dove, so innocent in all this. I promise you though once I take you, you won't be able to play this act anymore.” Grey said coldly, his gaze glinting with promise as it raked over your face. He was close enough to feel his hot sour breath washing over your face. 

The tension stretched between you two and you felt like you were going to snap when a low deep voice came from behind. “Step the fuck back from her.” The group parted enough to show Curtis striding closer the handful of cherry tomatoes in his palm crushed to drip the juices and seeds from between his fingers and the tin cup of water sloshing over the edge as he sped up, pushing past the others to grasp the back of Grey's collar and fling him back. Grey easily straightened, pulling an innocent look as Curtis moved to block you from them. You scrambled to get up, using the back of his shirt to pull yourself to a stand and stay behind him. A barrier between you and Grey. 

“I thought I told you not to go near her again?” Curtis’s rage was laced in his tone and Grey shrugged a bit. 

“Just saying hello Curtis, I missed seeing your girl since the party.” You eased around Curtis a bit and Grey caught sight of you, aiming a wink towards you. “Till next time Y/N.” 

You pressed in behind Curtis, your gaze looking down the aisle to see members of the greenhouse take interest. From afar it would appear to be just a passing of words, and the tremors going through Curtis told you how he was holding back from attacking Grey. If he did, it would all seem unprovoked, Curtis words and yours against Grey and his crowd. It wouldn't end good for Curtis. 

Curtis watched long enough to make sure they were out of sight and turned swiftly towards you, wiping his hand against his jacket till the tomato residue was off his palms and touched your face afterwards, tilting you to look up at him. “He didn’t touch you did he?” 

A firm shake no answered him and he offered the mug of water which you tilted back to calm your nerves and moisten your mouth. “No Curtis, not really.” 

“Son of a bitch.” He clenched his hand at his side, looking over his shoulder again and you reached to press your hand to his chest, bringing his focus back on you. 

“Let’s just leave here, please?” Last thing you wanted was Curtis’s anger to sit with him the rest of the day. 

He took a deep breath to let it settle in his chest before turning to you blinking up at him and part of him softened. “Come on… Got somewhere else you might like to see.” Wrapping an arm around you, you followed along with him as you two made your way out of the gardens aisle. Your fingers played at his sleeve nervously as you glanced behind once more, but Grey was nowhere to be seen. The silver train door whooshed and crossed into another threshold. Once it closed behind you, you turned your focus to the area Curtis had taken you. 

It was filled with wild greenery, and the echoes of songbird calls bounced off the towering glass of the train's ceiling. Your lips split into a grin when you stepped from Curtis hold, your gaze lifted to see brilliant colored birds darting around one another. “I remember coming through here when I was brought to the front, what is its purpose?” 

“An aviary, the last birds on earth that we know of.” Curtis informed you, his head tilting back to look up in the treetops crowding against the glass of the train, straining for freedom that would forever be denied them from growing to their full size.

Curtis watched your child like wonder as birds filtered down to land on you, tiny trills and warbles inquiring as they inspected you. You stretched out your arms for other curious birds, hoping down to peck at your palm looking for food. You happened to giggle with the ticklish feeling and to Curtis it was far better then all the songbirds in the aviary. 

You were such a light in Curtis’s life now. These kinds of moments where you seemed to forget that you were held against your will but found a reason to laugh, your eyes bright when they looked at him and you danced into a small circle, the birds lifting off of you in a flurry of cries and wings, so you could come back to him excitedly. Curtis couldn't believe that he once saw you as a job, something he had to tolerate. 

Now he didn't want anyone else sharing his space with him. 

“There were so many Curtis! I didn't know there could be that many on the train…” Your hands fluttered back and forth with your words, rambling about how much you loved the moment, thanking Curtis for bringing you when he cupped your face, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks and his eyes bright while looking at you. It paused you in surprise as his head lowered against yours and pressed his mouth against yours. This was a different kiss then any he's given you before. 

But this was a gentleness that was asking permission, his hold cradling and gentled, slightly rough lips easily pressing against yours and the tip of his tongue just swiping as in a way of saying ‘Please?’ 

Your hands braced against his chest and slid around behind him, allowing him to swipe in and roll his tongue with yours, pulling you in closer to him till your body was flushed with his own, his hold sliding from your cheeks and sliding down your back. When the two of you parted, foreheads leading against one another, panting slightly. 

That kiss simply took the air from your lungs and you could feel it meant something more this time. 

More than being forced together or trying to comfort. This one had something behind it. Part of it scared you that maybe this man meant more to you then he had before. 

Second Trimester

You sat on the edge of the bed, a hand braced against the curve of your stomach, waiting. Curtis was nearby, nose in a book but he noticed that you had moved up to sit. A curious glance looked over the spine of the book. “Whats going on?” He questioned as you sighed a bit, sliding your hand to another spot, scrunching your nose. 

“He was just moving, I swear he was getting ready to kick.” you looked down at your now protruding belly, rolling your shirt up enough to slide your palm against it. “But feels like he has settled down.” Curtis chuckled softly and set the book aside on the table, moving to kneel on the floor before you and ease his hand around the sides, exploring for himself. 

“That's because he's decided to treat his mama well.” 

You snort a bit and roll your eyes. “More like he's saving it for tonight when I'm trying to sleep.” 

Curtis smirked a bit, and rested his hands against your thighs, winking at you. “Well he does take after his dad.” 

You shoved at his shoulder with a scoff, leaving Curtis laughing heartily while falling back to rest on his ankles looking up at you. Moments like these he seemed so boyish, his laugh was genuine and rare. But the longer you two lived together, the more you got to hear it. It was a pleasant sound, one that seemed to make you forget for a moment that you two were stuck together in a glorified prison. “We keep calling him he, do you think he is a he?” 

Curtis shrugged a bit. “Honestly, boy or girl doesn't matter to me. But yea...I think it's a boy. Just feels right when I think of seeing him for the first time.” He admitted admiring the glimpse of skin showing where your shirt had ridden up. 

It was also easier letting him see more of you. It probably helps that during your pregnancy, you had cravings. Serious cravings. 

Which even now started to curl in your lower belly and clench your thighs slightly under his hands that still rested against them. He felt it and arched a curious brow as you shyly looked away as if distracted. But he knew, he shuffled in closer and slid his palms warmly back up to your belly. “You know you just have to ask.” 

Caught. You knew you were caught and you shifted slightly, twisting your fingers together. “I don't wanna ask though. I mean it's not like your job to have to anymore.” 

“Y/N- will you just lay back? You want it and I don't mind giving it.” He instructed, pressing you to lay back on the bed, leaving your legs dangling over the edge of the bed. His hands grasped in the band of your shorts and started to draw them down to leave your lower half naked and you folded your hands together to rest on your stomach, looking down your body to watch Curtis. 

“You may not mind, but I still don't want you to feel like you gotta.” You rambled on as he brushed his chin against the top of your thighs to nudge them apart and drew one leg up over his shoulder, brushing a kiss to the inside of your knee. “Your damn kid is making me horny, but I have other ways to handle it whenever-” 

Curtis rolled his eyes in amusement to your rambling. Honestly he would be happy taking care of you like this, seeing you pregnant was driving him crazy with want. Knowing he made you need him so much, be able to take care of you and see you satisfied in his bed. Right now nothing was better than seeing you post orgasm bliss. You were still going on above him, but he stopped listening, his goal now to make you forget about feeling guilty for wanting him. Flushing kisses up your thigh and he brought the other one over his shoulder, he heard his name while he dragged the tip of his nose through your curls and to your folds that were starting to glisten with arousal. 

“Are you listening, Curtis?” you voiced above him and he snickered a bit while spreading your folds apart and lapping along your quivering cunt, hearing your question turn into a gentle moan. 

“I was, but now I'm not Darling, because honestly eating you out is my main priority right now.” He lapped again, sucking on your outer folds and was rewarded with another gasp above him and your hand falling to his head, curling your fingers against his scalp. 

“Do that again?” You breathed out and you felt his tongue curl through you once more, just making you pulse and arousal seep from you that he was quick to collect with a growl as he sucked on you. You let your eyes close and mind clear to just the sensations he was creating in you. His fingers massaged the tense muscles inside your thighs as he looped his arms over the top of your thighs and spread them just a bit wider, burying his face in between your legs. He found your clit and proceeded to tease it in just that way that had you arching your hips for him and whimpering into your shoulder till you couldn't keep quiet anymore. 

“Oh god Curtis… Curtis…” You started chanting his name while he played with you, continued pressing his tongue in all those places that made your core clench and thighs quiver and strain in his hold trying to clasp around his ears. 

“Just let it happen Y/N, why are you holding back?” He teased you, the graze of his cheeks scratching along the inside of your thighs that he released so they clasped around his head and your hands started to press his face into your center. He plunged his tongue into you, teasing your fluttering walls till they were driving you blissed out, rocking into his face till you finally did as he said, letting go and letting your orgasm wash over you till you were floating happily in pleasure, a sigh escaping you as your toes curled into his shoulders then they collapsed over his back, humming out your bliss. 

Curtis rolled his shoulders to let your legs fall off, one last lap through your core and a kiss to the top of your mound before he sat back and massaged your thighs till the tension seeped through them. Planting his hands on the mattress to pull to a stand, looming over you as he pushed your shirt up to kiss the curve of your belly. 

“Better?” He asked as he fell to the other side of the bed, his hand massaging your hip, the other hand running through his beard and you slid an eye open to see him watching you for an answer. 

“Thank you, he's settled down.” Your hand slid over your curve and he mimicked your touch, feeling for himself. 

“Perhaps he decided taking a nap was better than being aware of his parents intimate time.” He teased and you covered your face in embarrassment, sighing. 

“You are terrible Curtis.” 

He snorted with a grin while pushing up to a stand. “That I am. Alright, time for me to go to the gym. Do you need anything before I go Y/N?” 

You shook your head while pushing up to a stand yourself and brushing past Curtis to reach into the little fridge to grab an apple. “Nah, I'm good. Afterwards do you think we could go walking somewhere? My back has been killing me and the baths are not helping so much anymore. Walking around seems to help though.” 

He gathered what he needed while nodding. “Sure, we will do that when I get back.” Curtis promised before heading out, and you plopped down in the seat he occupied earlier, easing back a bit and picking up the book he had been engrossed with earlier, looking to see where he was. Taking bites of the apple, you suddenly felt the baby start to wriggle again, and this time he gave the kicks you were expecting earlier. 

“Oh now you wanna be a wriggler. Apparently your father was wrong, you have been awake.” You chuckled a bit while settling back. 

A whoosh of doors announced Wilford as he stepped into the enclosed space off the engine. Humming to himself as his eyes glanced over the screens to different sections of the train. Everyone was right where they needed to be, his eyes glinted gleefully appreciating the order of Snowpiercer. Everything so wonderfully balanced, just as it always has been. He was there god, giving them life. Each one he looked at was absolutely perfect, all constructed by him. Wilford viewed them as stories, each one he could maneuver in the way he wanted. Settling down in his seat, he twisted his chair towards his prize tv screen, the biggest and clearest one. 

On the screen was a black and white version of Curtis’s room. So far Wilford had let you and Curtis have moments of domesticity. Let you two get comfortable, sure that your lives were going to continue being peaceful.

Wilford grinned coldly while leaning forward to trace a finger over your form sitting in the chair, singing to your belly. 

“That's right Dear… you keep on taking care of my baby so sweetly. You will be the perfect mother to my son.”