#i give zero shits if they’re your comfort character. they don’t get a free pass to destroy the environment either

[creampuffqueen]

b-b-but what about people who are neurodivergent and DEPEND on ai 🥺👉👈

being so for real right now: how the fuck have you have you used ai so much that you now DEPEND on it. ai has only been widely available for like A YEAR. JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING BEFORE????

speaking as someone who is neurodivergent, being neurodivergent does not give you a free pass to destroy the environment as you please

[mxgilray]

Loki Season 1 Thoughts

Overall, I really liked this series. It has some issues without question, but I sincerely don't think it's the dumpster fire so many viewers on this site treat it as. Did it go how I expected? Not at all? Did I enjoy the heck out of it and look forward to it every Wednesday? Hell yeah!

Loki's Good Guy Personality

A big complaint many have had with it is how much Loki's demeanor has changed and how his emotional growth feels rushed or his personality is ooc. Truth is, he saw his entire future, saw what his angry, power hungry, I-work-alone persona would get him in the end, and it snapped him back to reality. He has always been shown to be quite emotional and craving attention and lacking in self assurance, it's just in the past movies he's masked it with violence and fake narcissism, and he's always been a secondary character so his perspective is rarely shown. But if you really pay attention it's obvious he isn't truly villainous; we all know that, it's largely why he has such a huge fan base.

Right after meeting Mobius, Loki got an infodump of his future, saw his parents both die, found out that free will means jack shit, and learned he's absolutely powerless in this realm. On top of that, this is 2012 Loki, fresh off of being under Thanos' control, suddenly being shown that the guy who controlled him is going to end up killing him. Frankly,, I think it all broke Loki. He was too shook up by it all and by the sheer helplessness he found himself in at the TVA that he let all his barriers down momentarily. Just long enough for him to open up to Mobius about his motivation and his lack of self confidence. And you know what I bet? Loki felt relieved after talking to Mobius. A weight was lifted, because he bore his heart to someone and wasn't rejected or laughed at or treated like a psycho. And after letting his walls down fully, Loki didn't feel the need to put all of them back up. He stayed guarded around other people, but he didn't need to pretend around Mobius. Mobius has seen under the mask, so Loki doesn't feel pressure to perform as an all knowing, all powerful God around Mobius. That freedom is life changing.

People who gravitate towards broken, pseudo-villain characters do so because we relate to their internal conflict, their mental illness, their need to fake it around everyone close to them. Their turmoil and depression and self destructive behavior are familiar and we see ourselves reflected in their actions. Now, when a person really truly let's their guard down, drops all their layers of facade, and embraces themself, they tend to change demeanor and even personality pretty drastically. It's jarring in real life, so of course when it happens to a fictional character who you usually relate to it is going to be jarring, maybe even more so because it feels like a change you yourself would never go through. I know this sounds bad and people might get at me for it, but...

I believe the issue here is that a large part of Loki's fan base doesn't want him to get better. They don't want him to move past his mental illness, to learn how to cope with anger and disappointment in healthier ways, to be happy. They like his damaged persona, they like the internal conflict. Maybe it's because they're still at that low place themself and feel like a relatable character is getting taken away from them, maybe it's because they don't understand how much being at peace with yourself can alter a person and to them it feels like he's been changed too much. To those of us mostly on the up and up from battling depression and mental illness, it's comforting to see Loki getting a chance to be genuinely happy and accepting of himself.

Sylki and Lokius

First things first, I'm not anti anything. Ship what you want, idc. Personally, I do not see the Sylki dynamic as romantic, but I get why people read it that way. I thought the series did a good job of showing unrequited love, namely Loki falling for Sylvie and Sylvie feeling zero romance towards him. This was aware of his attraction and in the end used it as a distraction so she could get the upper hand. The show played up the potential romance because we are viewing things from Loki's perspective and he's become smitten as a kitten. I do think in the long run they'll have a more sibling-like dynamic, one Loki realizes that you can feel extreme love and care for a person without it being romantic. I enjoyed how the show explored their relationship, though I do wish they hadn't had every character under the sun mention their moment on Lamentis-1 like it was some big deal to bond with someone you're about to die with.

I'm bitter towards the development of Lokius. It had a strong start in the beginning, and in ep 5 had some potential reignited, but then they had Mobius not know who Loki is at the end. I'm still hoping they're playing the long game with this ship and that it'll come to fruition partway through season 2. The chemistry is there, and Mobius knows Loki very intimately and isn't put off by his past. Loki also feels much more at ease around Mobius than he does around Sylvie. It's the comfort of a deep loving bond with Mobius verses the nervousness of a new crush that he feels for Sylvie.

I don't think Loki is quite aware of his feelings for Mobius, simply because it's based in friendship and mutual respect and isn't a hot and heavy lust. Plus, as soon as he was away from Mobius he was thrown into a near death experience with Sylvie and developed a surface crush during their heart to heart. Since Loki's still figuring out what genuine feelings are beyond anger and sadness, he sees the simplistic crush he has on Sylvie as love and the intimate bond he's been forming with Mobius as friendship. He doesn't understand his own feelings yet, but I think he'll figure it out next season. I mean, he was probably already rethinking his feelings for her after she kissed and betrayed him, mentally kicking himself for expecting her to not pull a Loki betrayal like he would've in the past.

The Time Variance Authority

I really like the concept of the TVA, the structure of it, the methods they use, the deeply fucked way they recruit employees, the cult like motto, shady Miss Minutes who is definitely playing her own long game, and the blind acceptance TVA agents have of the Time Keepers' will. It's all very well done... until your dig into the core, aka He Who Remains. They built up the idea that the Time Keepers created the TVA to prevent a multiverse war and that they created agents to enforce their will. Then the creating agents turned out to be fake, the Time Keepers were fake, I expected the reason for the TVA's existence to be fake to. It felt too simple to have it genuinely exist just to keep the multiverse in check. Why the anonymity, unless it's to keep from having agents target and prune versions of himself which.. songs like a decent solution. HWR made it sound as though the multiverse war was just a bunch of versions of himself screwing shit up, so why isn't the TVA's focus on eradicating every other variant of this guy? Sounds a lot easier and nicer than fucking with the free will of every other living being. So either Marvel made a bad call when choosing what HWR's motive was for creating the TVA, or he was lying about it all to cover up something sinister.

Overall Storyline

I'm fairly happy with the plot as a whole. There were some pacing issues and I think a few missed chances for deeper conversations between various characters. While I enjoyed the Loki variants, I honestly would've been happier seeing Tom playing most the variants (except Kid Loki and Classic Loki since they are clearly different age ranges). If there is supposed to be one sacred timeline, it seems off to me that Lokis would be allowed to vary so extremely without it causing a nexus event(an alligator, whose nexus wasn't that he's an animal who obviously can't do any magic much less command Thanos' army, but that he ate someone's cat) and not just in appearance but in life path (ie boastful Loki collected all the infinity stones but it wasn't till he had 6 that he caused a nexus event even though him gaining control of the Soul, Power, and Time stones should've each caused nexus events since on the sacred timeline he never interacts with those 3 and taking any one of them would've fucked up a lot of other timeline parts)

I love the display of Lokis raw power, and 2012 Loki coming to the realization that he's way more powerful than he ever thought. And it wasn't just Classic Loki who spent thousands of years alone honing his skills, 2012 Loki reversed time on a goddamn falling building! I also liked the small magic, the fireworks, the tablecloth blanket, Loki yanking Sylvie away from HWR with just magic.

As someone who is both bisexual and genderfluid, I would've really loved more concrete representation. The comment about there never being another female Loki hit me in the gut; it undermined the Easter egg "Sex: Fluid" on Loki's TVA file. With how big a deal Sylvie being female was made out to be throughout the season, I expected her gender to play a key role in taking down the head of the TVA, like it was foretold that only a female Loki could end it all or some shit.

I don't mind the idea of Loki finding love in a straight passing relationship. I don't even mind the selfcest all that much. It just feels so obvious to me that Sylvie is written as not having any romantic inclination towards Loki, while Mobius is clearly written as falling in love with someone he shouldn't and trying to maintain an heir of professionalism to keep from wrecking his bond with Loki. I really really hope they come through on season 2 and give Lokius the canon relationship and proper representation they deserve.

Mmkay I thinks that's all the thoughts I've got right now. If you've been feeling cheated or clowned by how things went this season, maybe my perspective of things can help ease your pain.

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[collisiondiscourse]

i have decided i am now going to blow up your inbox bc i csn i’m sorry codi focnnf

b u t!! anyway i’m going to rambling abt my new dad for all au [whixh was the au i sent you that ask abt]

alrighty so all might is now midoriya’s dad. that’s a thing. i like to think that inko and toshinori were high school sweethearts who broke up after graduation but met again when all might was called to recuse some hostages and inko was one of them!! anywho all might recuses her, they go on a coffee date, realize they’re still in love and start again

they get married and have izuku, who keeps inko’s maiden name [midoriya is now inko’s maiden name bc i do what i want]. he’s the cutest baby who has inko’s green hair, but has one blue and one green eye! [these are /important/] inko and all might talk abt maybe giving izuku all for one when he’s older, but they decide against it bc they don’t know if he’ll have a quirk or not

spoiler!! bitch baby has a quirk!! he gets a quirk that’s so much different than inko’s quirk and !!! ahhh!!! the basic explanation is that all might’s all of one genes mixed and then “corrupt” inko’s like 3 generation quirk-having genes or smth and izu has a very, very complex quirk now. it’s called astron, and astron allows him to fucking astral project into the center of the university and shit chxnc

astron works two different ways: using his blue eye he can project other people into his own personal astral plane and do whatever he wants. while the person’s physical body is still where it was, their mind is in the astral plane. if he uses his green eye, he can project himself to his astral plane and fuck around without consequences!!

[there’s an untold third ability of astron using both of his eyes, but izuku tried doing that when he first got his quirk and immediately fell into a coma for like a month? it was bad and his mind couldn’t handle the stress and dipped lol]

ANYWAY, izuku grows up with a bomb ass quirk and still has his kacchan with him thru his childhood so things are a lot different than canon? the wonder duo are little shitheads together and i love them, they wreck havoc and i love them

i have more ideas for this story but this is all i have for now, codi this is so long i’m sorry i’m blowing up ur inbox 🥺😭

me opening my askbox and seeing the length of this au: holy shit

me reading the actual whole au: HOLY SHIT

AJ I LOVE THIS HIGHKEY!!! I LOVE THE IDEA OF OP DEKU W A FUCKED UP QUIRK JUST TERRIFYING EVERYONE HE COMES ACROSS!!!! heterochromia is SO so good as a character design element and i LOVE THE WAY THIS IS IMPLEMENTED YELLS. I WANNA DRAW THIS SO BAD!!! THIS LOOKS SO COOL

(serious writing/plot below - blood and vomit mention)

oh god and now im imagining deku like. being this extremely feral and annoying lil shit whos extremely powerful and now bakugous got someone on his level so hes a lot more humble as hes growing up but also him and deku are the?? BESTEST OF FRIENDS. and i imagine when bakugou is being a little shit deku just. astral projects him out of his body for a while and apologizes to whoever kacchan yelled at LMFAO---bakugou comes back to his body and is all like “....fucks sake stop doing that”

AND THEN omfgkjfds imagine morally grey deku who does whatever he can to win?? he knew he wouldnt get into UAs hero course fair and square (all might offered him a recommendation but he declined because he wanted to get there on his own with kacchan) because robots didnt have souls he could astral project so he practices his quirks limits like YEARS prior and he tells bakugou about it but never rlly shows him but on the day of the entrance exam?

he shows up. everything goes as normal and he finishes the written exams and then moves on to the practical exam (still seperated from kacchan like in canon) and like. Every one goes dashing forward and deku doesnt really try to beat anyone. He waits until theyre all in the center engaging with robots when he walks to the center of the room.

and he sees the zero pointer in the distance.

“THE ZERO-POINTER’S HERE!” He yells and points at the gigantic mech heading their way. All at once everyone’s heads whip up to catch sight of the robot, enraptured by its sheer size and power. 

As they all look to one direction, Deku makes eye contact with them and smiles.

All at once, every single participant in the area goes limp. Astron throws their souls into the astral plane with little fanfare and everyone watches in awe and annoyance as their bodies uselessly crumple to the ground from the outside. The green-haired boy is suddenly given free reigns of the arena and they seethe as one by one he deactivates or disables robots that were once under their purview.

(What some of the smarter ones notice however, is the way he seems to be leaving some stray 3 pointers untouched... almost as if he was doing the calculations in his head as he goes... on how to ensure the number one spot while others can still score points...?)

One by one however, they start struggling and reaching to reconnect with their bodies. Their gleaming bright souls bob up and down with frenzied energy and Deku feels it. He feels it like itches on his skin and goosebumps that turn into hills that dance up and down his back. He feels it like he feels his limit reaching.

Its still around 10 minutes though before he actually loses control and everyone comes back to their bodies. His quirk times out and almost like its angry, the astral plane takes his body in exchange for the dozens he kept in there. He gets sucked through and passes out while everyone else runs and destroys the remaining bots. It doesn’t matter though, because he knows he’s racked up enough points to stay on top. He lets himself rest and observes the blue-haired tall guy with engines who contemplates carrying Deku’s body to safety.

Until, he sees her.

Just under some rubble and very close to getting crushed by the Zero-Pointer’s foot, Deku spots a brown-haired young girl that he recalls has some kind of floating quirk. He sees as everyone runs past her, prioritizing their own safety instead of hers.

He makes a decision.

Quickly--recklessly, a familiar gruff voice says in his ear--he forces himself back into his body and looks around. He runs to the girl and attempts to dig her out from the rubble before she gets crushed. The robot comes ever closer.

Using the little strength and flexibility he’s learnt from years of sparring with Kacchan, Deku abandons her in favor of climbing up the broken concrete and metal to meet the robot’s visor. He knows he won’t save her by digging her out of there, but by god is he gonna let her get injured without a fight. These robots weren’t designed to kill, but they were designed to destroy.

Focus. Focus and listen to what’s around you, Izu-kun.

The world around him reduces to tunnel-vision and suddenly Deku is face to face with the Zero-Pointer. It stops, as if calculating how to discard of Deku without hurting him severely with its own strength.

Everything has life in it. You only need to focus and look for it.

Izuku Midoriya looks at the robot.

In a whirlwind of blue and green, he reaches inside of himself and searches for life. Cold steel and hard-wired code meet his gaze and he plunges even deeper. 

Focus.

Then all at once, everything in his visions snaps into sudden clarity, like he’s never seen before. He feels everything. Sees Everything. Smells, tastes, hears--and he hears how the metal beneath him bends and groans. He feels how it winces and shudders. He sees it as it opens its maw and its visor bends in a facsimile of eyes, pleading him as if asking how?

The robot beneath him comes to life and stumbles back.

Quickly, he scrambles to the nearest ledge which happens to be a broken support beam. Distantly, he thinks he feels his arm being sliced open on the edge of it and the warmth of blood streaming down his side as he nearly falls. 

“HEY! YOU WITH THE ENGINES!” He hoarsely screams to the still remaining, slack-jawed contestants. “I CAN’T KEEP THE ZERO POINTER DOWN FOR LONG! GO HELP THE GIRL AND TAKE HER TO SAFETY NOW!”

With a sudden burst of energy, the fellow participants start taking others out from the rubble while the blue-haired boy helps the brunette he was protecting earlier. As he watches them clear the rubble to drag her out, he feels a pang.

Who am I? a lost voice calls out. It’s raspy and almost-robotic sounding and only he can hear it. Where am I? What am I?

And Deku’s vision flickers.

In and out, he sees flashes through eyes that aren’t his. He hears voices that are simultaneously faraway and way too close for comfort. The world tugs at the sides of his perspective and a strain is pulling at the back of his head tearing his brain to shreds. He doesn’t know what he’s focusing or straining on, except that its working and keeping the zero-pointer down.

He grits his teeth. “Hurry the hell up! i can’t do this any longer--”

Bursts of pain appear behind his mismatched eyes and he wants to scream so bad and if he were looking any clearer he’d see the way that the zero-pointer thrashes on the ground in time with the pounding on his skull. Bile crawls up the back of his throat and Deku screams.

“SHE’S CLEAR! YOU CAN LET GO NOW, MIDORIYA-SAN.”

Izuku lets go and his vision goes black.

[morgansdeb]

☕️ alex leaving jo for izzie

*sighs* Okay, so I have several thoughts about this, but I don’t know if I’m going to do a good job at articulating them properly. This is going to be long.

So, this is probably my most unpopular opinion of all time... I don’t like Alex Karev. I never have. I think he’s annoying, a bully, and quite frankly, he did a lot of terrible things that the fandom doesn’t really address. I mean, when I finished Grey’s and I went online to see if others disliked Alex, I was disappointed that I found very few people that agreed with me. This fandom LOVES this guy, and I’m just here in my little corner like “nope, he sucks.”

I think the thing that bugs me the most is the hypocrisy in the fandom when it comes to Izzie vs Alex.

When Izzie left the show, because Katherine Heigl left the show, she became the evil bitch who abandoned Alex, that horrible ungrateful woman who didn’t stay by her husband’s side despite all he did for her. We know the reason Izzie’s exit from the show was so poorly handled was because of Shonda’s issue with Katherine not submitting herself for an Emmy for season 4 (which tbh, I can’t blame her? She was right when she said the material she received that season wasn’t Emmy-worthy, especially in comparison to Izzie’s storylines in the previous two seasons, which were actually heart-wrenching and better developed), so I genuinely don’t get where people’s beef with Izzie comes from. She was written that way because of issues behind the scenes.

And if I’m honest here... people forget that when Izzie left the first time, she was under a lot of emotional distress. She was BATTLING CANCER, JUST LOST HER FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WORLD, AND GOT FIRED FROM THE HOSPITAL!!!! Sorry for yelling, but this fandom doesn’t have any consideration for Izzie’s feelings. Webber fired her in a stone-cold way and heavily implied Alex helped him with that decision. So of course Izzie left. She was traumatized!! And then SHE CAME BACK. She came back and wanted to make things right with Alex, but he told her TO LEAVE. He was the one who did that. So what was Izzie supposed to do? Stay in a hospital where she has to work with a man who told her “I love you so much I almost hate you” (wtf was that line)? Yeah, I can’t blame her for leaving.

People always wanna talk about how Izzie is selfish when she donated 8 million dollars to open a free clinic, was the only resident who bothered to teach the interns (while Alex complained about working on the clinic and said the interns were stupid, lmao, what a guy), donated money to pay for a girl’s back surgery, decorated the house for Christmas and made socks for Meredith and George (and Doc!!), tried to be nice to the doctors from Mercy-West (and ended up getting called a bitch for it :///) and was overall a happy, sweet person who cared about her patients and her friends. Izzie was amazing, why are you all so mean to her?? Because she left Alex’s annoying ass?? If that man was my husband, I’d leave him too, lmao

ANYWAY... so yeah, Alex ain’t shit to me. The first thing he did when he met Izzie was tell her she wouldn’t last as a surgeon, then sexually harassed by hanging pictures of Izzie’s modeling days all over the locker room, cheated on her with Olivia, made fun of her relationship with Denny, called her a stupid bitch and stole one of her surgeries, made her cancer all about himself, didn’t comfort her after George died (seriously, this was so fucked up and nobody ever talks about it. Alex was so jealous of Izzie’s love for George and he showed it all the time)... that man was not “the perfect husband”. He’s lucky Izzie gave him the time of day after the stunt he pulled in the locker room. She was the only one of the interns who gave him a chance, when Meredith, Cristina, and George wanted nothing to do with him (and who could blame them).

He also bullied the hell out of George and April, especially April. People defend this by saying “oh, but everyone bullied April!!” (that isn’t a solid defense, btw), and while the other characters were annoying for that (I love Cristina, but her treatment of April was so awful, same with Meredith, Lexie, and even Jackson was a dick to her at times), Alex always took things to an extreme level. When they’re in the on-call room and are about to have sex, Alex starts yelling at her and saying all that gross stuff about not wanting to hold her virgin hand, and then we see April choking on her own tears at Cristina’s house and Alex never apologized to her for that, he just continued to bully her. He ALMOST KILLED Andrew, and I know that he beat him up because he thought he was assaulting Jo, but he didn’t even try to make things right with him?? He could have killed him or ruin his entire career, but the show had Alex be portrayed as the victim and the other characters didn’t seem to be bothered by what he did?? How did Bailey appoint him as temporary chief when he had a record??

Okay, so this turned into an anti-Alex rant more than anything else, but all this needed to be said. I know he became a better doctor and everything, but he never clicked as a character for me. His friendship with Meredith seemed forced (Cristina was gone, so Meredith needed to hold on to someone, right??), and it was very shitty how it took Meredith TWO YEARS to respect Jo as Alex’s girlfriend and Alex just let Meredith treat her like crap?? Never change, Karev. I don’t care about his friendship with Arizona, either.

So... this guy left Jo. He cheated on her, lied to her, and then left her in a letter. And the fandom is like “okay, but Alex didn’t do it!!! The writers ruined him!!!”, oh, wow, so when Izzie leaves Alex she’s a bitch, but when Alex leaves Jo, it was the writers??? Alex should be the most hated character on the show because what he did was horrible, but the fandom gives him a pass. Y’all hate Izzie, but this guy is okay in your eyes???

Another unpopular opinion, but I don’t like Jo either. She’s boring to me; I don’t care about her storylines (I find them quite repetitive), and I never cared about her relationship with Alex (they had zero chemistry to me). So no, I don’t care that they’re over. I do wish Alex had taken her with him, lmao.

I hate that they made Alex and Izzie end up together because now EVERYONE is blaming Izzie for Alex’s exit. “She hid the children from him!!!” Alex SIGNED his rights away and told Izzie she could do whatever she wanted with his sperm. It’s not Izzie’s fault Alex decided he now wanted to be a dad to those kids. Why does Izzie get all the blame for all of this? Alex is a grown man who made a choice. We also never saw them reunite on screen, so we have no idea what they spoke about. Maybe Alex didn’t even tell her he was married. I mean, he had no problem lying to his wife about where he was, so who’s to say he didn’t lie to Izzie, too?

I know, I KNOW that Alex leaving Jo like that is bad writing. But the only reason I care is because I hate that this storyline made my favorite character the target of fandom hypocrisy and hate. But to be honest, Alex got a better ending than most. George, Lexie, Mark, and Derek died horrible and painful deaths. Callie and April also had shitty exists. The ONLY one who had an exit worthy of her character was Cristina (not counting Addison because she went to have her own spin off).

I don’t know if I have anything else to add, tbh. If you hate Izzie but love Alex, you’re a hypocrite.

Oh, and George and Izzie forever <333

[moonfirerainbow]

how about 34 for reddie! it sounds really intimate/romantic

This only took 30 years but here it is.  It’s not how I wanted it to be at all but it’s something?  Right?  Yeah??  I hope you like it.  

#34 kiss prompts:  Kisses that start on their fingers and run up their arm, eventually ending on their lips.

Pairing: Reddie

Rating: Mature

_____

Eddie is sprawled out on the floor of Richie’s bedroom, feet up on the dresser and eyes on the TV set on top, where The Lost Boys is playing, volume low.  The cover for the video is nearby, torn on the edges from overuse and years of being shoved in Richie’s backpack and carried to sleepovers at Bill’s.  They’ve watched this movie hundreds of times, and they’ll watch it hundreds more, because Richie just can’t get enough of it. 

Speaking of- Richie is right beside Eddie, mouthing the lines and tapping his long fingers against his knees, his voice a low, familiar sound that makes Eddie smile.  It’s late, the clock on the desk reflecting a neon green twelve-zero-seven in the dark of the room, but Eddie isn’t sleepy.  He never gets sleepy when he stays over at Richie’s.  Not since the first time when they were ten, and Eddie pulled his first all-nighter, playing video games and reading comics, cracking up over funny expressions on their favorite characters. 

“My own brother, a God damned shit sucking vampire!”  Richie’s brows move up his forehead as he speaks, the light from the screen reflecting off his glasses.  Richie chuckles, bumping Eddie’s shoulder with his.  “This movie sucks so much.”  

Eddie snorts, shoving at Richie’s knee with his foot.  “You love it.”  

“Nah.”  

“Fucking liar.”  

“It’s funny,” Richie says, rolling on his side and facing Eddie.  He narrows his eyes in a dramatic glare.  “Careful, Eds.  I’m a shit sucking vampire.”  

Reaching out, Eddie shoves Richie’s face away, laughing when Richie falls back into their piled blankets and pillows.  “You’re just a shit sucker.”  

Richie gets up and to his feet.  “Jaysus.  You’re after my throat tonight, huh?”  

“You deserve it,” Eddie quips, no longer paying attention to Richie as he heads over to his messy closet.  

Eddie sighs, stretching his toes out as he stares off, not watching the screen anymore.  They start college in a month, and though they’re both headed to Boston-- along with Bill, Ben, and Mike-- Eddie dreads the end of these easy, wonderful nights.  The end of spending so much time together, of sharing everything in their lives that they can call their own.  Like Richie’s sweaters, that Eddie always ends up wearing when he’s cold.  And Eddie’s softest pillow, that he gives to Richie whenever he sneaks over to Eddie’s in the middle of the night, to squeeze and hold as he falls asleep to nightmares.  

Eddie is startled out of his thoughts by Richie settling down beside him, looking much more comfortable in a tee and shorts.  “What’s that look for?” he asks, leaning down and peering into Eddie’s eyes.  “You’re making your grumpy face.”  

“I’m fine,” Eddie says, forcing his eyes away from Richie’s blue, blue stare.  “Just kinda tired.” 

“Then go to sleep, dumbass.”  

“I could if you’d shut the fuck up.”

Smirking, Richie falls back, dark hair curled over the pillows, the screen light bouncing off his glasses again.  “You’re not tired.  Who is the fucking liar now, huh?”  

Eddie can’t help the smile that curls over his lips, even though he’s trying to force his mouth into a thin line.  “I’m not lying, asshole.”

“Yes you are!” Pushing up on his elbow, Richie pokes Eddie’s side with his free hand.  “Like I don’t know you?  You get all cuddly when you’re about to pass out.  Trying to spoon me.”  

Cuddly.  Something in Eddie’s stomach twists at the way the word leaves Richie’s mouth.  The same thing that always reacts to the unexpected ways Richie shows he pays attention.  “I’m not cuddly,” Eddie says, failing to keep a straight face.  “Shut up and watch your movie.”  

Richie chuckles.  “You’re caught.”  

“Shh.  The movie.”  

“You’re a big time cuddler.”  

“And you’re a big time moron.”  

“So mean,” Richie says, then pokes Eddie’s side again.  “Don’t be a dick.” 

Eddie shoves at Richie’s face again, but Richie catches his hand that time, brings it to his mouth.  Eddie’s chest goes tight at the warm breath brushing over his skin.  Until Richie smirks, cocks one brow, then bites the pad of Eddie’s middle finger. 

“Ow.  What the fuck?”  Eddie pulls his hand away, glaring.  “What’s wrong with you?” 

Richie’s grin is wide, a little crooked, like the angle that his glasses are sitting on his nose.  “I’m a shit sucking vampire.”  

Rolling his eyes, Eddie considers kicking him in the head.  Or the balls.  “Then suck on yourself!”  

Cackling, Richie spreads his legs out in front of him, then bends down toward his lap.  His voice is strained as he bobs his head a few times and says, “Nah.  Can’t do it.  You’ll have to do it for me.”  

Eddie kicks him in the thigh, cheeks hot and ears burning.  “Suck a fat one.”  

“I would, but your mom-” 

Eddie swings the pillow at him, catching Richie right in the face, almost knocking his glasses off.  “Shut up.”  

Richie’s unfazed, falling back into the blankets and laughing hard.  Loud enough to wake his mom and dad.  “You’re so mad!  Why are you mad?”  

“Cause you’re talking about my mom!”  

“I always talk about fucking your mom.  What’s the big deal?” 

Eddie’s not even sure why he’s mad, so he doesn’t bother answering.  Face flushing deep.  Embarrassed.  He just crawls under the thin sheet he stole from Richie’s bed, pulling it up over his head.  Fucking jerk.   

“What are you doing?” Richie says, tugging on the sheet.  “Are you hiding?”  

“Going to sleep.”  

“It’s like, only a little after midnight.”  

“Goodnight, Dick.”  

“Okay, okay.”  Richie reaches out, fingers sneaking under the sheet to take Eddie’s hand in his again.  “I’m sorry.  Forgive me, Eddie my love?”  

Eddie sighs, deflated, and kicks the sheet away.  “It’s fine.  Just.  I’m tired.  Ok?  I’m gonna sleep.”  

Richie is quiet for a moment, eyes big and deep and so blue. “Hmm okay,” he says, but he squints, and Eddie knows he isn’t buying it.  “I don’t think you’re tired at all.”

“Don’t think too hard there, Rich.”  

Richie goes on, ignoring Eddie’s insult.  “You’re embarrassed.”  

This trips Eddie up, makes him stop before he can spit out another comeback.  Yeah, he’s embarrassed, but Richie’s never called him out on it before.  “And why would I be embarrassed?”  

“No idea, but you’re face is all red like you are.” 

Eddie looks away, withering under Richie’s stare.  “I’m not.  I’m mad that you bit me.  Like, who does that?”  

“I’m sorry,” Richie mumbles, then he pulls Eddie’s hand up to his mouth again.  “Okay?” He breathes out, and presses his lips to the soft pad of Eddie’s finger.  

Eddie inhales, just sharp enough for Richie to notice, and it should end there, but Richie pauses instead of moving away.  Long enough for their eyes to meet in the glow from the TV.  It’s one of those weird little moments, where Eddie isn’t sure what’s about to happen, but the air is charged around them, a sudden change.  

Richie goes on, breath hot and damp on Eddie’s palm, warm mouth dragging over Eddie’s dry skin.  And higher, to press a kiss to the inside of Eddie’s wrist.  Slow.  Hesitant.  Eddie’s heart jumps hard in his chest, every spot Richie’s mouth touches on fire.  He should stop this.  He should shove Richie away, call him an idiot.  Something that would bring this back to normal territory.  But he doesn’t.  Eddie doesn’t say a word as Richie kisses up his arm, over the crazy sensitive skin (has it always been this fucking sensitive?) of his inner arm, the inside of his elbow.  Lingering as he gets close to the fold of Eddie’s sleeve.  

Richie pauses, lips hovering over Eddie’s shirt, and their eyes meet again.  A deep swooping runs through Eddie’s stomach, his breath getting shorter as Richie waits.  Just as Eddie’s about to tell Richie to get the fuck off him, Richie’s eyes drop to Eddie’s mouth, a brief glance that lights heat in his chest and skin.    

Bringing his free hand up, Eddie cups the back of Richie’s neck and pulls him in, lips missing the mark and catching the corner of Richie’s mouth instead.  But Richie adjusts with a sharp gasp, palms suddenly on Eddie’s face, a gentle touch that spills the truth, despite how hard Richie’s kissing him back.  And Eddie’s had so few kisses in his life that he’s not sure what the hell to do, but he follows Richie’s lead, holding on to his best friend with trembling hands.  

Pulling back to breathe, Richie buries his face in Eddie’s shoulder, slipping the neck of the tee down and mouthing a hot trail over the flushed skin there.  A sound chokes Eddie off, one he can’t hold in when Richie’s teeth skim the base of his neck.  

“Richie,” Eddie groans, legs falling open as Richie’s thin hips get so close to him.  So, so close.  “Rich…” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Richie’s eyes come into view again, heavy and lidded as he stares down at Eddie.  “What the hell, Eds?”  His voice is breathless and low.  “We’re kinda making out here.  What’s happening?”  

“I want you.”  The words are out of Eddie’s mouth before he can think twice about admitting it.  “I want to be with you.” 

“Fuck,” Richie groans, dropping his head to rest on Eddie’s chest.  He speaks muffled into the fabric of Eddie’s shirt.  “I’m dreaming.  I gotta be.”  

Frowning down at the mass of dark hair hiding Richie from him, Eddie rubs his palms over Richie’s back, urging him gently to look at him.  “What do you mean?”  

Lifting his head, Richie moves up a bit and settles between Eddie’s legs, warm and perfect and hard against him.  “I’ve wanted to kiss you since we were like, fucking twelve, dude.”

“Really?”  

Nodding, Richie leans in, presses a sweet, slow kiss to Eddie’s lips, a kiss that Eddie deepens, wrapping his arms around Richie’s back, one hand pushing under the hem of his shirt to touch smooth skin, the other getting lost in Richie’s hair.  Gripping the strands hard as Richie’s hips jerk against him.  

The damn movie is still playing, a background to the sharp breaths and gasps, and Eddie can barely hear it.  So caught up in Richie’s mouth and his taste and how good his hair smells, and every little sound he makes as Eddie slides a knee over his hips.  Lifts up to meet the little rolls of Richie’s body.

“Wait.  Wait, fuck.”  Richie pulls back, so flushed and hair a bigger mess than usual from Eddie’s hands.  “Eds.  I can’t.  If you don’t want more than this, I’m gonna have to tap out.

Rolling his eyes, Eddie pulls Richie back to him.  “Asshole.  I do want more.”  

“Yeah?”  

“Yes,” Eddie says, then squeezes his thighs around Richie’s waist.  “Fucking kiss me.  Be my boyfriend, or whatever.”  

Richie smiles wide, whispers, “Okay,” and then they’re kissing again.      

________

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[b-listbadboy]

Castlevania Season 3 was disappointing

(Spoilers for Castlevania Season 3, if you haven’t seen it yet it’s out now on Netflix. I suggest watching that first before reading this review)

I won’t say it was an awful season by any stretch of the imagination but man was it a drag to get through.

Almost nothing of significance happens for the majority of the season and the things that did happen felt extremely off and weird. 10 episodes, 25 to 30 minutes each, and every single one except for the fucking TWO LAST EPISODES were spent dicking around with a mystery that had little to do with anything from season 2 beyond a really out there twist that I’m sort of iffy on. Top that off with a lackluster arguably stupid ending to leave us off on a needless cliffhanger, and that’s the magic remedy that will leave me feeling pretty damn frustrated.

The best parts, in my opinion, were with Isaac’s massive undead crusade he was waging throughout his journey for revenge, and Trevor and Syph’s interactions with each other as well as with the little villagers. Isaac’s arc going from a servant of Dracula to slowing evolving into the master of the damned felt genuine, intriguing, and badass! I really wish he was the next main villain instead as it makes sense thematically. He carries out Dracula’s nihilistic views of humanity in a similar but now more direct way and that can lead into something really intriguing. However, for some reason, this season left him and his whole journey on a back burner, and virtually everything else that is implemented into main villain role fell flat on its face execution wise.

For example; The new vampires of this season are Camilla’s three other empress sisters, and while they do have a plethora of personality at the very least, that kind of comes at a cost of the main threat being extremely diluted. We go from this hurting sympathetic undead overlord with the power of an anchent GOD, to a couple of wicked sassy sisters who just wanna eat people forever? It’s a bit lame of a progression from what we once had, we know Vampires like to eat people that’s nothing new or exciting. There’s no real twist to it besides it being “led by women in the dark ages” and granted that makes sense here since it IS the dark ages, but come on we literally just had arguably the BEST adaptation of friggin’ Dracula! This shouldn’t be all they got moving forward from that.

Now, I have ZERO issue with the main antagonists being female or even two of the four sisters (not by blood don’t worry) being a lesbian couple. I hate that I have to emphasize this, hell I often defend Cinder Fall in RWBY more than anyone in the fandom at all despite her issues as a complex and sometimes flat out badly written character. However, The four of them in this season have the most basic of plans that it seems arbitrary status quote fluff at best. It felt like just because it’s Castlevania, we HAVE to have the vampires as the villains. Even though in the games the Belmont’s were literally fighting werewolves, dragons, skeletons, and the GRIMM REAPER??

Therefore, the sense of urgency and tense calculating plans of ‘survival vs extinction’ is completely gone. And yknow in a way, I can kinda initially SEE that working in a sort of “Empire Strikes Back” esque plot. Yknow, with Alucard and the gang go around cleaning up Dracula’s leftover horde only for Isaac or even Camilla to have this huge vengeful comeback of dominance? But there’s no one exactly “striking back” or even taking any kind of immediate initiative after Dracula’s death. It’s been MONTHS after the whole event and no one seems like they really care about that world changing event from the last two season’s. Everything is fine and dandy, no one has a single worry in the world! How enthralling...I miss Godbrand 😑

Besides the plan the four empresses have as well as Issac’s revenge, which I hope will both be more explored in season 4, no one really has any goal to warrant THAT kind of length of a season. This is more of a Netflix problem that I have with most of their shows and it’s one of the reasons why I don’t like watching them. Almost every singe show Netflix produces now, feels the need to overstuff itself with needless filler that gets us really nowhere until the very end where it SUDDENLY all comes together. But because of the nature of binge watching and considering how Netflix wants to desperately keep their subscriptions in fear of intimidating competition, they make these shows 12 episodes long with HALF HOUR OR MORE amount of filler content that’s supposed to satisfy us cause it’s “cute”?! No, stop this shit! Granted, Castlevania wasn’t nearly AS bad as the live action shows, but honestly, what exactly was shown to us that couldn’t have been reduced to like 5 solidly paced episodes focused on one or two plot lines ONLY like before? It worked perfectly back then, why change what ain’t broke?

As much as I don’t like the immediate rush of Trevor and Syph’s out of nowhere sexual relationship, I didn’t overall mind it too much since they still somewhat felt consistent. Their characteristics play off very nicely with one another and it’s pretty easy to see the chemistry between the two....HOWEVER I’M STILL GONNA COMPLAIN ABOUT IT SO HERE WE GO!

I get that they were setting them up as an endgame ship of the series, there’s no denying that, but they start fucking for what feels like (to the audience) two days after and I think that’s a bit ridiculous! Even if Alucard states that it’s been at the very least a month worth of time since the events of Season 2, there’s no real physical signs showing that statement to be true. Hell, Trevor’s beard and hair remains the same despite a HUGE passage of time where it would naturally grow out to indicate said time passing by. But both him, Syph, Alucard, and damn near everyone else looks the exact same as last season. So for all I know it could have been like a week since Season 2 and that to me doesn’t feel exactly earned. The Season 2 finale didn’t explicitly leave off Trevor and Syph officially a couple, they felt more like partners in crime more than anything else. Not to say that there wasn’t any chemistry there to develope INTO a relationship GRADUALLY, but going from a little spark of interest to the immediate jump of them sleeping together naked all comfortably as if they’re a goddamn married couple is a STRETCH! Even Trevor himself thinks so too so don’t jump down my throat about not being immediately swooned by the shipping fanservice given to us. I don’t dislike them as a couple at all, in fact I think their dynamic is cute! However, I would have also liked to have this couple feel natural and earned. They most certainly do not feel earned this way, at least to me.

Oh god, then there’s this out of nowhere sexual tension between Alucard and his new two recruits from another region hinted at in the previous season? Mind you, Alucard was doing literally NOTHING throughout the entirety of Season 3. Yep, literally the ONE DUDE WHO BASICALLY KILLED DRACULA gets about fuck all story progression afterwards out of the three. But what they DO give him are these two new vampire hunting student’s who look identical to one another (no racial they just literally look like fraternal twins) so I assumed they were either siblings or a couple, which makes it REALLY WEIRD WHEN THEY BOTH FUCK ALUCARD OUT OF NOWHERE?! I’m NOT making this shit up I promise! What makes even less sense is that it was really just a ploy for them to steal the Belmont knowledge of killing vampires to show to their people who have been enslaved. Which of course ends with them being killed so it really makes this entire conflict in his character damn near pointless besides “sad vibes check”, but here’s the thing...why didn’t they just keep doing training with Alucard?? There were virtually no downsides to having him teach you how to kill Vampires to save your village from being enslaved, he was teaching you both very well and gave you like the eternal knowledge of how to kill literally EVERY MONSTER and even let you live in the castle FOR FREE, food and wine included! What was the turning point for them to want to kill him all of the sudden? Cause he’s a vampire?? THEY FUCKING KNEW THAT ALREADY!!! Why was is suddenly not a problem at first but then coincidentally a problem now? If they wanted to use this to somehow depict this notion of “Oh my dad/Dracula was right humans are the worst” mindset, trust me, it was better conveyed with Isaac. These twins side plot not only made no sense, but also felt unjustified for Alucard to be an emo boi. I get that it’s supposed to be symbolic of him going through the same issues that both of his parents went through, but none of that really showed how bad human’s are. Just that those two twins didn’t think things through apparently. So the point of Alucard having this odd character convenience shift feels by the numbers cliché, and most importantly CHEAP.

It really makes no sense to me why they’re adding so much of this filler for such a long time, especially with some of this filler being oddly sexual. I don’t mind honest depiction of sex between consenting adults of course, but it just felt so misplaced and awkward at parts where it showed itself. I felt like I was reading a mediocre fanfic of Castlevania instead of the actual show itself! Granted, Season 2 had somewhat of a similar dilemma but the lull in between was still showing the character specifically doing things to further the story along. Towards the end, it gave us a way more satisfactory closure of that saga with Dracula that felt natural and well earned. This season however, felt like they were scrambling with different ideas here and there and didn’t know which to go with. Alucard training new recruits in his castle, Trevor and Syph figuring out an estranged (and BORING/GENERIC) cult of Dracula’s plan, Camilla setting up an army with her fellow sisterhood of evil vampires to gain ultimate power, Hector surviving captivity by using his wit and charm, Isaac raising up the dead for revenge on his deceased master, a new character introducing an all new world to the lore of Castlevania as we know it, all of these interesting concepts and ideas that could easily make up for a good season alone! And instead of focusing on one or two ideas to develope into something natural, they ended up saying “FUCK IT! Fucking I dunno what to- WE’RE DOING ALL OF IT I DUNNO!” and mixed the whole thing in a blender of different flavors that don’t necessarily blend together well enough for a tasty satisfactory meal. It just ends up being a mesh of okay at best, and gross at worst.

IN CONCLUSION, Castlevania Season 3 had a rocky start, an okay middle, and a kind of cool end. There was definitely some cool and exciting ideas implemented in here, but not enough to warrant that lengthy amount of time that Netflix seems to love to give to most of their TV shows. Sometimes less is more, and all that shiny cool glitter isn’t necessarily going to turn out to be gold. I’ll give this season a 5/10. It’s not the worst I’ve ever seen but it certainly could’ve been a lot better.

P.S. “Who Do Ya Voodoo” from Dead Island is Isaac’s new theme song, you can’t convince me otherwise.

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #167

Hey, I’m not dead!

Yeah, sorry that took a while. Had a lot of real-life shit to work through, honestly. In any case, I finally sat my butt down to really crack down on yet another fun-tastical chapter. Tomoko’s actually doing what a lot of quasi-incel degenerates are afraid to do in high school and is taking an actual stab at self-improvement. Will karma rear its ugly head, or is the series now beyond that point?

Chapter 167: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Spend My Time Wisely unlike me

This is a really pretty shot and...that’s about it. Real pretty. 

Oh dear! The friendship disease has disrupted Tomoko’s gremlin-like body clock and has her waking up early like a healthy human being!

Reminds of that one Gintama episode. You know, that one with Kagura and the sick kid and you don’t care, do you?

I know Japan prides itself on its cheap, quality goods, but Tomoko is a real penny-pincher, eh? Well, she’s a Gen Zer, so I can’t complain.

Not sure if this makes me sound like a perv or whatever, but hot damn, the detail on this model is stupidly good. I mean, just look at the patterning on that bra. You can really tell when Ikko’s really getting into the art.

They’re really milking the armpit fetish, aren’t they?

Tomoko...sweetie...my girl...

You don’t even have a dick. I mean, sure, you could find it fascinating from a purely educational, not-applicable-to-you perspective. And yeah, I suppose it could be useful if you were to start a sexual relationship with a noncanonical male. But to be honest, I can’t help but take it as more signs of your gender dysphoria here. 

I mean, hey, whatever floats your boat.  

Well, they say kids learn more about practical knowledge out in the real world than in school, don’t they? 

Then again, coughgoogleitcough.

I always thought Tomoko was just having some kind of psychosomatic experience when she talks about being de-energized from a lack of sexual stimulation. 

Now I’m inches from calling that shit an actual, physiological withdrawal.

Ah, the good ol’ days. Back when future prospects felt like a lifetime away and you could spend days on end dicking around, lamenting the need to get serious, and disregarding your resolve right after because you secretly didn’t really care.

...I gotta stop projecting.

Despite Tomoko proving time and again that she can be a crass-hole with a negative outlook on life, it’s when she does childish things like laying your head on your arm when studying and cuddling her plushies that her innocent side pops up and you realize that Tomoko’s a legitimate cutie. 

Fake-smoking? Tomoko, stop! If you keep this up, you’ll turn from a deconstruction of a cute, moe girl to becoming an actual cute, moe girl.

I only just noticed that Tomoko’s wearing a “happy” shirt. Remember when she was sporting the “alone” shirt back in year one? Even her clothes get character development.

Oh, shit. Your girl Yuu-chan talking this whole cram school thing seriously even though she’s at a disadvantage. You see, this is why Yuu is literally the best. Despite being at the “top” of the school clique food chain, she has not once ever felt like “bottomfeeders” like Tomoko and Komi were below her in any way. Sure, she knows they’re weirdos, but she makes those acknowledgments without judgement, and all while putting herself on the same leveling field. She doesn’t love them ironically–she loves them sincerely, and that’s why Yuu is awesome. 

Sorry if this turned into a ramble, but Yuu only gets like, one panel of dialogue nowadays and I wanted to make the most of it. 

Tomoko be raising that “phone-call” flag like a motherfucking chad. 

...

...

...

Oh, sorry. I saw Yuri with her hair down and lost track of time.

...

...

...

Damn, Yuri’s pretty.

Black leggings at home? That’s exactly the kind of conservative attire Yuri would wear and only Yuri could look amazing in. Seriously, If Ikko hadn’t become a manga artist, she would have made a damn fine fashion designer.

And Tomoko be crushing that “home-visit” flag like a motherfucking chode.

I could make a pretty tasteless joke about how “haha, Yuri will never look at you like you’re trash like she does at Tomoko,” but, 

a. it’s just the angle of the smartphone like Yuri said, and

b. you’d probably prefer to get denied like that, wouldn’t you?

I can’t help but wonder if Tomoko realizes just how homoerotic she sounds. Like, does she have any inclination that her borderline-sexual harassment jokes could easily be misconstrued as flirting? Sure, she might be using the old excuse that “we’re both girls, so it’s fine right?”, but given that Tomoko at least knows about LGBTQ+, you’d think it would have at least crossed her mind.

Or maybe, on a sadder note, Tomoko doesn’t see it as flirting because she really does have zero faith in her own attractiveness...  

There is no heterosexual reason for this exchange whatsoever.

Alright, so I’m a dude, so...hell do I know. But do girls typically not wear bras when just lounging around the house? I know Tomoko is the kind to just wear tank tops if she can help it, but I always thought that was a characterization unique to her, and that other girls wear bras for the comfort and support like any other undergarment. I mean, sure, Yuri’s kind of reserved, but I wouldn’t think wearing a bra at home would be considered an oddity, yeah? I ask this out of genuine curiosity, but I’ll stop before it gets too creepy.

Side note, you can officially tell when Yuri gets pissed by her nose crinkles.

I could give a long, analytical spiel about why Yuri didn’t give Tomoko a straight answer and speculate on what she was doing, but I eventually realized the answer was actually really simple:

It didn’t fucking matter to the story.

The last time Tomoko had one of these “I know!” moments, she ended up trimming her pubes on a class trip. But surely Tomoko’s character growth wouldn’t allow something like that to happen again, would it not?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Adorbs.

Can’t fight awkward with awkward, can you?

Tomoko, what are you playing at? You just said that video chatting was erotic and tried to get Yuri to lewd herself for you. And now you were planning to appear on-screen totally naked and you somehow don’t see any sexual implications for this at all? Finding it funny would be an elementary schooler’s mentality. If you seriously have no confidence in your sexuality, then sweetheart, you need some help. 

You ever notice that Tomoko can lie through her teeth when trying to screw with people, but when lying to be nice, it sounds so phony? I think that says a lot about the kind of person she is.

Ya’ll knew I was gonna add this panel, didn’t you?

I was never one to go crazy about blushing anime girls ‘cause to me, it always felt like it stemmed from some sadistic desire to see girls look uncomfortable. So while I can’t get behind it for reasons like that, I can admit that Yuri’s blush is fucking precious and I think that’s because I love seeing her so emotionally transparent for once. It feels rare, raw and well-earned after all this time, so yeah. A++ 

Oh, Tomoko, if only you knew that skill often has nothing to do with it. Yuri’s not embarrassed because she sucks at humming, but because you saw a side of her that she only lets out in private. Trying to reassure her is a good move, but putting the girl on blast like that is not going to end well.  

I felt like the vibration alone would’ve left a huge-ass crack on Yuri’s phone screen. This whole moment is like eleven tiers of funny because even though Tomoko is probably miles away, the impact of Yuri’s punch still jostles her. It also helps that we can visibly see Yuri’s fist come down mere millimeters from Tomoko’s mug. 

There is no escaping her wrath, Tomoko.

I feel you, girl. For me, nothing beats a good ol’ burger and fries after a hard day of studying.

Careful there, Tomoko. If there’s one thing that studying has taught me (other than I hate it), it’s that you could get serious burn out if you go all-out on the first day, especially if you’re typically not a regular studier. Always make sure to get dem breaks in. 

That sounds like the kind of line you’d see in a mainstream shounen action manga like [ ]. I don’t even have a direct reference here, so feel free to fill in the blank.

Hey, with Tomoko’s luck, I was expecting karma to hit her harder than Truck-kun in an isekai anime, so I consider this a small loss. 

Man, remember when we were young and had ambitions as high as the sky, and we all wanted to change the world by being firefighters, astronauts, idols, and presidents?

Kind of sucks that “financial stability” has become our goal in life as we enter adulthood. Perhaps that’s just the mindset creative-types like Tomoko have towards the STEM industry when it’s hard to see what makes that world so personally fulfilling. 

Oops, my opinions are starting to seep in, so let's move on.

Nooo, don’t do it, Nico Tanigawa Tomoko! Don’t sell out your passions for financial security even though it’s a totally viable career decision! How else are we going to validate the pursuit of our artistic dreams?  

How in the hell is Tomoko balancing that drink? I’m willing to let it pass for rule of cute, but I don’t care how secure that cup is. One wrong move and those practice sheets are done for. 

Jesus Christ, Nemo is on some otherworldly dimension of cute right here.

I don’t even think Tomoko is trying to one-up her or anything. This is already the most effort she’s given to study in a single instance, so I think she genuinely just wants to share this personal accomplishment.

You know, while it’s already been established that Tomoko and Nemo have different tastes in anime, that doesn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t watch the same show, right? Just for different reasons. While Nemo would watch her cute slice-of-life series earnestly, Tomoko would probably watch them ironically MST3K-style. In any case, it’s a good way for them to find some common ground.

Bruh, Nemo must be over the fucking moon for this opportunity. Think about it: when was the last time she’s had someone to watch anime with her? After concealing her power level for so long, this could be the first time Nemo has had a fellow anime fan to geek out over a series with. And not just discussing it afterward, but actually reacting to a live episode together.  

Nemo may give Tomoko all kinds of shit, but this is actually what she wanted all along, wasn’t it?

Boy, Tomoko sure gets pretty demanding when she’s sleep-deprived, huh? I’d hate to see how loose her inhibitions get when she’s stark-raving drunk.  

Is this referencing the Quintessential Quintuplets anime? I don’t know anything about it other than that’s a kickass title.

Hey now, Tomoko, beggars can’t be choosers. Let Nemo give you the play-by-play at her own pace. She’s even acknowledging that you hate the source magazine without a hint of judgment. She’s gonna go places.

At first, I thought all this recent armpit content was just an incidental joke. Then I thought it was the mangaka slyly inserting their fetish into the series. Then I realized the series turned the joke on its head and made it a meta-reference about their very thing their readers were accusing them of. 

Well played.  

You ain’t slick with that leg service, Nino Tanigawa. Just sayin’.

Seriously though, I love the dynamic going on in this conversation. Tomoko and Nemo are approaching the discussion from different outlooks, the former looking at it from a degenerate’s perspective and the latter looking at it more optimistically. But even so, they’re not trying to “get the upper hand” like they might've done before. They’re simply having a totally organic talk about what they do and don’t like about the series, while still recognizing each other’s personal preferences. For once, it’s completely devoid of passive aggressiveness and it really shows how earnest their friendship has become.

At some point, I think Tomoko’s consumed so much near-pornographic content that pretty much all anime, manga, VNs, etc. looks like the same hentai to her.  

Every fiber of my being says that this is a reference to Komi-san Can’t Communicate, but it could just as well be the mangaka shooting themselves in the foot for a good joke. In any case, I do like how they point out shy, socially awkward girls is a rising trend that borders on romanticizing communication problems. 

Does that make Watamote a hipster manga since it did the whole “social anxiety girl” shtick before it was cool? 

I wanted to make a pretentious joke about how basic that anime sounds and how I’m so above a show that panders to the masses, but even I like junk food, so I’ll spare you the hypocritical humor.

If Ucchi caught a glimpse of this, she’d probably explode right on the spot.

I spent a good five minutes trying to decipher how Tomoko’s sleeping expression could be seen as “happy”, and I realized that it’s not that she looks happy. It’s that she doesn’t look unhappy. I’d imagine that those plagued by anxiety and stress have it evident on their face when they sleep, so the fact that Tomoko fell asleep in relative bliss must mean she’s had a pretty satisfying day. To top it all off, this is one of the few times someone–and Nemo of all people–has seen Tomoko in all her vulnerability. 

And you know what? Nothing bad happened. No punchline undermining the moment, no sarcastic quip, no embarrassment. Just genuine sweetness and it really speaks to the series’ faith in its heartwarming moments.

As a final note, I just wanted to thank everyone again for their patience. I’ve been trying to put a fresh spin on this, making it a little more comedic since its honestly getting harder to “analyze” without constantly repeating myself. It’s a lot of fun, and I hope you guys enjoy it for what it is.

[sleepy-giggles]

The Impostor (a continuation of Ch. 26 from FT 100 Years Quest)

OHMYGOSH GUYS, I’ve been so excited after the latest chapter that I literally couldn’t sleep until I wrote my little version of what’s going to happen next!! I know we’re unlikely to get another gruvia-dense chapter after the GLORY that was Chapter 26, but I still have a full week until the next chapter comes out to dream ok? *o* 

Click here to read on FanFiction.Net!

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Lucy and Wendy shuddered as the icy waves of doom and darkness emanated from their friend's body. The poor girls who sat on either side of him could only shiver silently, unable to escape the sub-zero temperature that extended within a 3-feet radius from Gray. Neither had the courage to say anything; they could tell that it wasn't a good time.

Erza, as well as Happy, were soundly asleep against a boulder furthest to his right. Luckily, having taken Erkis' place in the play earlier had tired Erza out completely, or else she would've smashed his skull open for being so careless with his magic.

The ice mage's right leg shook restlessly as he stared intently at the bluenette who sat directly across from him. They were separated by a campfire that unfortunately illuminated the unsightly scene in front of him all too well.

Yes, unsightly was the right word.

To say that he was in a sour mood right now would be an understatement.

"U-um," Wendy said meekly, barely above a whisper. "A-are you okay, Gray-san?"

He didn't hear her. It was safe to say that at that moment, he only had eyes and ears for one person, or rather two, to be accurate.

The neglected chicken wing he happened to be holding on a skewer engulfed into flames, but even then, his eyes never left Juvia's smiling face as she listened adoringly to Natsu's exaggerated retelling of how they defeated the Water God Dragon.

What. The. Fuck.

The scorched skewer in his hand snapped in half. He didn't know if he was overreacting because he hadn't seen her in a while and was simply more sensitive than usual, or if there really was something fishy going on.

Ever since Juvia showed up out of nowhere on their train, she hadn't been acting like herself. First of all, she didn't pounce on him immediately after she found them. This part wasn't all that strange since even Juvia had her calm days. But after explaining to the team why she was there —apparently, she had taken up a solo mission close by because she just couldn't bear to be away from her Gray-sama another second— she then had the audacity to sit down next to stupid Natsu. Without so much as hugging the ice mage.

Ok fine, he'll admit that to outsiders, her behavior didn't seem out of place at all. Perhaps to the rest of Team Natsu, it just looked like Juvia was holding back more than usual and keeping her feelings in check. But they didn't know her, Gray did. The two of them had been separated for an insane amount of time. She surely would've missed him just as much as he missed her, if not more. But to his utter disappointment, other than a few polite acknowledgments and gentle smiles his way, Juvia had, for the most part, ignored him.

And now, as they're settling in for the night, the water mage had once again plopped herself down beside flame-brain. Even when there was a huge vacant spot next to Gray, which he had purposely kept free just for her.

Juvina-sama's words echoed in his mind.

"Don't think she will wait for you forever, lover boy!"

He shook his head to get rid of any unnecessary thoughts. No, there was no way she moved on already. They had been through too much; they literally died for each other. And besides, even if Juvia finally got tired of waiting for him, it was ridiculous that she would choose the pink-haired idiot over him, of all people.

And yet…

"Wow, Natsu-san is so powerful!" Juvia giggled. "The Water God Dragon didn't stand a chance, huh?"

The dragon slayer let out a boisterous laugh, his head doubling in size at the compliment.

It took Gray everything he had to not plant his foot in Natsu's face right then and there.

He glanced over at Lucy, who had been sitting quietly at his left. The celestial mage's eyes were also glued to the unlikely pair across the campfire.

Shit, even Lucy looked worried. And this made him worried because if anyone was an expert at reading these types of situations, it was her.

The blonde emerged from her thoughts when she felt like she was being watched.

"W-What…"

"Nothing."

"So you noticed too, huh?" Lucy gave a forced smile and tried to sound cheery. "I didn't know they got along so well!"

Gray said nothing.

An elbow nudged him in the chest. "Don't tell me you're jealous?" Lucy winked at him.

He scowled and looked away, knowing that a blush was making its way to his face. "Shut it."

"Oh? You're not even going to deny it?" Lucy laughed and this time, it was genuine. "You've come a long way, Gray Fullbuster."

Gray grunted but smiled back. "Stop, you're starting to sound like Juvina-sama."

His friend, now more relaxed, looked back towards Natsu and Juvia happily chatting away. "Alright, since you're having such a hard time, I'll be generous and help you out before you freeze us all to death."

Wendy and Charle, who were currently cuddling close to the fire after Gray had unknowingly unleashed his cold wrath, turned to Lucy and gave her their best look of gratitude despite shivering.

"Um, Juvia!" the blonde called out. "You and Gray haven't seen each other for a while, I'm sure you two have a lot of catching up to do. Why don't we switch spots? Natsu here doesn't know when to shut up once you get him started on dragons."

"Hey I don't talk that much!"

The bluenette looked startled for a second as if realizing something. "Ah yes, Juvia indeed has missed Gray-sama so much!" She turned to face the ice mage and gave him her best, loving smile. "Juvia can't wait to hear all the stories Gray-sama has to share, later."

Later?

Gray's heart fell. Lucy, Wendy, and Charle looked on with shock. Heck, even Natsu's jaw dropped slightly at her response.

Without sparing him another glance, the water mage turned back to the dragon slayer. "Please continue, Natsu-san. You left off at a most exciting part!"

Natsu let out a nervous laugh and reluctantly continued. In turn, Juvia shifted closer to him until her bare knees pressed snuggly against the clueless man's thigh.

Very. Snuggly.

The campfire froze.

Everyone turned their attention to Gray.

"Hey ice princess, what's your deal?!" Natsu immediately blew a mouthful of fire at the block of ice, restoring the heat a little.

"Gray?"

Lucy peered up at her friend cautiously, but couldn't see his eyes as they were hidden under his bangs.

She noticed his tightened fists shaking and digging into his thigh, and placed a comforting hand over his white knuckles.

The girl jumped when the ice mage suddenly grabbed her wrist instead and tugged her closer.

"Sorry, Lucy," Gray said under his breath. Confused, she followed his line of sight until her eyes landed on the bluenette. The dots quickly connected as she realized his plan.

So Gray was going to test Juvia's reaction. Lucy relaxed slightly and tried to play along. By now, Juvia's love rival senses would've been tingling and any minute now, she'd probably fly across the fire to put herself between them.

However, to their surprise, the water mage didn't even notice the fact that they were holding hands. She couldn't have, because she never once looked their way.

Lucy was thoroughly freaked out at this point. And Gray was getting desperate.

In one swift motion, and a little more aggressively than he had intended, Gray threw his arm around Lucy's shoulder and slammed her body into his. This earned a loud squeak from the celestial mage. Wendy's face turned red, and finally, Natsu and Juvia paused their conversation to see what's up.

The pink-haired dragon slayer was the first to react.

"GRAY!" he roared and shot up from the log he was sitting on. He then pointed an accusing finger at them. "What do you think you're doing to Lucy?!"

Gray ignored him and continued to direct his piercing eyes at Juvia. No one can tell except probably Lucy, but he was fuming right now.

Suddenly, the hair on his body stood up.

Although it was gone as quickly as it had appeared, Gray could've sworn he saw a flash of irritation across Juvia's face. But it hadn't been the look of jealousy like what Gray was expecting. No… it was a look of annoyance directed at him for interrupting her conversation with Natsu.

She can't be serious….

Just what the hell did he do? Was Juvia actually giving him the cold treatment? Was this all because he went on the 100 years quest without considering her feelings?

Ok, that kind of made sense. But regardless, this was still out of character for Juvia no matter how angry she was with him! And Gray knew her more than he would admit. The girl who proved that her love for him was strong enough to break even Invel's Ice Lock was not someone who would play mind games with him. Like water, Juvia's thoughts were transparent and people can read her like an open book. She was refreshingly simple in the sense that she spoke her mind and behaved in ways that felt right to her. She displayed her heart for all to see, believing that there was no shame in telling someone how much she loved them. Juvia was different from Gray.

So why then, is his woman cuddling up to his best friend and—more importantly—not losing her shit over the fact that he literally has her "self-proclaimed" love rival practically sprawled across his lap?!

Another second passed, and Juvia was making no move to do anything about their compromising position. However, just as Natsu was about to march over and start a fight, Gray stood up, making poor Lucy lose her balance and fall on her stomach.

"It's getting late. Let's call it a night."

"HUH?! Oi popsicle head, I'm not done with you ye—"

"Natsu, stop!" Lucy snapped as she tried to pull the fire dragon slayer away. "You've done enough for one night, now let's go get some sleep!"

The blonde all but shoved Natsu into the boy's tent.

"Wendy, Charle, do you think you two can manage carrying Erza to her bed?"

"Don't worry, Lucy. We'll take care of it," Wendy said with one arm already under Erza's shoulder. She seemed relieved to finally escape this 'adult drama' that had unfolded a few moments ago.

As the crew slowly retired to their respective tents, only Juvia and Gray were left.

"It's been a wonderful night, Gray-sama," she smiled at him brightly. "Juvia will see you tomorrow!"

"Wait." His hand shot out and pulled her back.

"Hm?"

His eyes were pleading. "What's with you? You're acting different."

"Am I?"

"Yes, you are," Gray stressed. "It's been a long time since we've seen each other, and you're treating me like a stranger."

"You're worrying over nothing, Gray-sama. You can never be a stranger to Juvia."

There it is, that fake smile again.

The ravin-haired mage narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"Juvia," he leaned over the wooden fence that stood along the edges of the hill, and stared off into the faded landscape as dusk settled in. "Has that scar healed yet? I still feel awful for accidentally stabbing you that day."

The blue-haired beauty had a troubled expression on her face. "Gray-sama, Juvia will be sad if you keep blaming yourself. It was nothing more than an accident, and the scar is healing just fine."

"Oh really?"

Her skin crawled when he turned slowly, eyes glowing bright red in the dark. His arm and the majority of his broad chest was covered in disturbing, black markings. She backed away.

"Gray-sama? You're scaring Juvia—"

In a split second, his long fingers were around her neck and she found herself choking.

"Your acting was pretty good there, almost had me fooled," the devil slayer seethed. "Too bad it just wasn't good enough."

She struggled and clawed at his tight grasp.

"You're not Juvia. So who the fuck are you? Some sort of shape-shifter?!" he bit out threateningly and released his hold just enough for her to be able to talk.

"Please… Gray-sama…" Her tear-stained face twisted in pain, and almost immediately, Gray released her.

His heart beat heavily in his chest from the adrenaline. Shit, what if he was mistaken? What if—

A chilling laugh escaped the water mage's lips. With a hand still massaging her neck, she gazed up at him with a smirk.

"I'm impressed, I didn't think you'd catch on this quickly. You're not as dumb as you look."

Gray froze and his blood ran cold when the unfamiliar woman in front of him confirmed his worst fears.

"I'll ask you one more fucking time," he rasped out as his whole body shook with barely restrained rage. "Who are you? And where the hell is Juvia?"

"Who I am is not important."

The woman stepped towards him. "But your sweet little Juvia…" she took his hand and placed it over her heart, "is right over here… Gray-sama." She whispered the last part tauntingly into his ear, and Gray realized that he had escaped a crazy dream only to end up in a nightmare.

[initcne-arch]

@consequntial asked : all of them :)

1. how does your character think of their father?? what do they hate and love about him?? what influence - literal or imagined - did the father have??

Darlene’s feelings towards her father are incredibly complicated. We all know that Edward Alderson is the scum of the earth, but pre-canon and during the timeline of the series, Darlene has no clue what he was doing to Elliot. She was four fucking years old when he died. So let’s start with her feelings towards Edward Alderson pre and during canon, yeah??

She has few memories of him, but they’re mostly positive memories. Darlene mentions a few times throughout the show that she misses him, she wishes she had gotten to know him better, “what happened to Dad fucked me up too”, etc. I’ve discussed this before--I think growing up Darlene really idolized her father. Again, because the few memories that she has of him are positive, she wasn’t aware of what he was doing to Elliot, and her mother was blatantly neglecting her and berating her and occasionally beating the shit out of her. In Darlene’s mind, Edward could have protected them from Magda. I don’t know if Darlene ever really loved her dad. I think she had an idealized image of him because her mother’s abuse was so much more apparent.

Which leads us into post canon, whenever Elliot decides to tell Darlene about the sexual abuse. Again, incredibly complicated. It doesn’t change the fact that for twenty-five years, Darlene wanted nothing more than for her father to be there protecting them, that for twenty-five years she had this idea that if he were still around, things would have been better. Not great, but maybe he could have saved them from Magda, who’s abuse is much rawer in her mind. 

She’s furious with Edward. She hates the man. Despises him. She feels a tremendous amount of guilt for wanting him to be there. Realistically, she knows that she wasn’t aware of the abuse he was inflicting on Elliot, but she still feels guilty for wishing that he hadn’t died. She hates that their whole revolution was in his name. That they started all this to get back at the people who killed him. And those people needed to be taken down, just not for Edward Alderson’s sake. She hates that he had that influence on her. She wants nothing more than to beat him to death again with his own bones.

2. their mother?? how do they think of her?? what do they hate?? love?? what influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have??

Darlene hates Magda!! Hates the woman!! For all the shit Darlene has been through, she doesn’t think anything was worse than being in that house alone with Magda between the ages of fourteen and eighteen. She is, however, the only mother figure Darlene knows, and so she does regard Magda as her mother. Never mind the fact that Magda didn’t actually regard Darlene as her daughter. She loved to remind Darlene that they shared zero actual relation and the only reason Magda even “parents” Darlene is because she signed some paperwork claiming Darlene as her daughter. Darlene hates Magda for treating her and Elliot the way she did. She felt no guilt, no remorse over Magda’s death. It’s unclear exactly when Magda’s health started to deteriorate but Darlene sure as shit didn’t help out with getting her into memory care. Zero relation, remember, Magda??

As far as her biological mother goes, whoever she is, Darlene’s feelings about her are at a zero. Darlene doesn’t even know the woman’s name. Darlene was only a few months old when she dipped out of Darlene’s life. She does think about it from time to time--what is she like, what would have been different if she hadn’t left, does Darlene get her fire and anger from her or does nurture conquer nature?? 

3. brothers, sisters?? who do they like?? why?? what do they despise about their siblings??

Elliot!! Ultimately, Darlene loves him. They’ve been through thick and thin together. They work very well together. Both of them have a lot of their own unresolved shit that gets in the way of their relationship. Post canon they have a lot of work to do, both individually and between the two of them. Their relationship has ebbed and flowed over their lifetimes. Despite what canon says about them never being terribly close, I think they were close when they were younger, at least until Elliot was an older teenager. I seriously doubt that siblings who weren’t close would share the same bed or spend all day at the movies and arcade together or have goddamn code words with each other. Darlene was the only person who knew someone else was fronting from 2014-2015, the only person who knew her Elliot was gone. But they “were never close.” Bullshit. 

I get the impression that Darlene used to take it upon herself to take care of Elliot, when she was younger. Make sure he was getting out of bed in the morning, making both of them breakfast, packing both of them lunches. 

They grew up in an incredibly abusive and tumultuous household, each of them with their own unaddressed mental health concerns, and it doesn’t surprise me that they drifted apart as they grew older. Clearly, there was a period of time where Darlene attempted to rekindle their relationship, but it was too difficult and she ran away. It’s...a little more difficult to say if this rings true for Elliot as well, but Sam / the Mastermind blatantly admits that he’s treated Darlene like shit, that he’s been a shitty brother. I don’t think Darlene has always been the best sister, either. They’re never outright cruel to each other but again, lots of unresolved and unaddressed issues on individual levels. They aren’t always kind to each other. I do think Darlene idolizes Elliot to an extent as well, but considering he was the only person in their household who wasn’t absolutely awful, I can’t say that I blame her.

4. what type of discipline was your character subjected to at home?? strict?? lenient??

Inconsistent discipline. Depended on whether or not Magda wanted to deal with her on any given day. On Monday Darlene could get away with murder without Magda so much as glancing in her direction and by Tuesday, Magda would be slapping her for putting her dishes in the sink instead of the dishwasher. I’ve said before that based on Darlene’s behaviors as an adult, I’m pretty sure Magda was more emotionally / verbally / psychologically abusive and negligent towards Darlene than she was physically abusive but that didn’t stop Magda from smacking Darlene around from time to time. There was also a lot of restriction going on, like food restriction and medical restriction. For the most part, Magda just didn’t pay much attention to Darlene, and therefore, Darlene was not a well-disciplined child ( or adult, for that matter ).

5. were they overprotected as a child?? sheltered??

No. Again, Magda paid no mind to Darlene. She practically raised herself. Magda likely tried to shelter Darlene from things, given the woman was pretty staunchly religious, but since she didn’t want to be bothered with Darlene most days of the week, Darlene was free to do whatever she damn well pleased ( until those rare days Magda did pay attention. then there was hell to pay ).

6. did they feel rejection or affection as a child??

Big time rejection!! Starting with her biological mother leaving, someone who was supposedly genetically programmed to give a damn about Darlene. Then the woman who willingly married Darlene’s father and willingly adopted Darlene rejected her. Darlene was always kind of that weird, loud kid who no one really knew how to deal with, so a lot of her peers kind of left her alone, too. The only people Darlene really had were Elliot and Angela. They eventually had to grow up and start leading their own lives. As a young teenager, this certainly felt like they were cutting Darlene out of their lives. It was when those two went off to college that Darlene went really far off the deep end. 

7. what was the economic status of their family??

Given the cozy little house the Aldersons lived in, they seemed to be upper-middle class. Edward obviously worked for e-corp for a time and I assume the pay there was decent. There’s no indication that the Aldersons moved somewhere else after he passed away. Perhaps the mortgage was already paid off. Who’s to say. Upper-middle class.

8. how does your character feel about religion??

Darlene hates religion as an organization--Magda was an Evangelical Christian and loved to shove that down her children's throats. Above all, religion was used to shame Darlene, and thus, she despises it, despises that people will blindly follow some invisible being in the sky and be so cruel to others on the basis of what their invisible friend in the sky allegedly tells them. Spiritulaity, she believes, is very individualized, and if people get some comfort from it, then good for them.

9. what about political beliefs??

Tag walls, punch fascists, eat the rich, fuck the GOP, ACAB, BLM, etc. etc. Money is the invisible hand puppeteering all of our politicians and influences just about everything. She’s one whole entire lef.tist-social.ist-anarchist. Next question.

10. is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted??

Darlene is definitely street-smart. She has to be, given her lifestyle. She’s a hacker and a con-artist--she has to be a smooth talker and she has to know her way around. She’s a pick-pocket, a lock picker, a smooth talker. She’s incredibly intelligent and quick-witted. Look at everything she’s accomplished!! She took down the most powerful people in the world!! Good for her!! I think Darlene could be book smart if she wanted to be, and I think she is to an extent. She talks about politics freely and clearly knows what she’s talking about when she does discuss them. There’s a certain amount of math involved with coding but she’s definitely not the scholarly type.

11. how do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated??

“I happen to be really smart and good at things.” Yes you are, baby. 

12. how does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations??

Darlene speaks very casually. She’s not peppering all these flowy, prosy words into her daily vocabulary, and god knows this woman has some colorful language and is an artist in profanity. She doesn’t speak like someone who’s uneducated nor someone who is educated. She says what’s on her mind. She is quite articulate and she can have quite the silver tongue when the situation calls for it. She scripted a handful of fsociety’s videos and completely adlibbed one in the span of ten minutes, for fucks sake.

13. did they like school?? teachers?? schoolmates??

Darlene only enjoyed school when it was an excuse to get out her house. As I previously mentioned, Darlene was always kind of the loud, weird kid that no one really knew what to do with. She liked to be around her schoolmates but she didn’t like to get too close to them. Her teachers were fine. Her schoolmates were fine. None of them were influential enough for her to remember particularly well. 

14. were they involved at school?? sports?? clubs?? debate?? were they unconnected??

Darlene was largely disconnected from school. She showed up often enough to pass her classes and graduate. Her after school activities consisted of ballet and getting high with others.

15. did they graduate?? high-school?? college?? do they have a PHD?? a GED??

She did graduate from high school. She completed exactly one semester of community college when she was nineteen, decided academia was absolutely not calling her name, and promptly dropped out.

16. what does your character do for a living?? how do they see their profession?? what do they like about it?? dislike??

Hacking and con-work. Darlene likes it well enough. She’s dead set on sticking it to the man. It’s also what she’s comfortable with. Darlene doesn’t like staying in one spot or doing one thing for too long. Maybe one day she’ll settle down and do some sort of freelance work--she did have a brief stint with freelance graphic design and she did enjoy doing that. She does desire some sort of stability. WIth how turbulent her life has been thus far, stability isn’t something she’s familiar with or comfortable with. So be gay, do crime.

17. did they travel?? where?? why?? when??

She skipped around the east coast when she was with [ REDACTED ]. That was mostly their decision, though. Running from whoever or whatever. Darlene won’t get into it. 

18. what did they find abroad, and what did they remember??

If you ask her, she’ll say nothing. Darlene doesn’t run for the sight seeing. She remembers many nights in shady motel rooms and countless fights with her own personal Humbert followed by her running away from them again until they either found her or she either came back because she had no where else to go. Rinse, lather, repeat. That’s what Darlene saw while she was “abroad.”

19. what were your character’s deepest disillusions?? in life?? what are they now??

That everything would magically be better once she turned eighteen. Darlene was fourteen years old when Elliot and Angela exited stage left. At that point, she had this fantasy that when she turned eighteen, she too would go to college, maybe live with Elliot or Angela again, and everything would go back to the way things were when they were kids. Her brother would be okay. There would be zero strain on their relationship. Elliot would be the same person he was in when he was fourteen / when he was fifteen / when he was sixteen / before he quietly started to remove himself from the home more often and gently distanced himself from Darlene, perhaps for his own sake, because he couldn’t take her with him. That she would be the same person, that she wouldn’t be this jaded, cynical adult who quakes at the thought of someone getting to know her too personally. That Angela would be the same person. 

Darlene is pretty grounded in reality. She fantasizes of a better world, certainly, but she did create some change in the world. Is that really disillusionment??

20. what were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced??

Repping the entire millennial generation here--Darlene has lived through a number of political catastrophes. 9/11, pandemics, the 2008 recession, and then she helped drive one of the biggest economic downfalls of them all with 5/9.

21. what are your character’s manners like?? what is their type of hero?? whom do they hate??

Darlene is like...make rude gestures at authority figures but tip your barista 20% every time and it’s not the end of the world if you have to wait 10 minutes for your food to come out. That pretty much sums up how she treats other people.

As for the second part of this question...it’s hard to say. She didn’t have a lot of great influences in her life. Her brother, certainly. Pre-canon and during canon, her father, but he has absolutely zero rights now. People who can look injustice in the eye and do something about it. The anarchists and the socialists. She definitely opposes celebrity culture and putting strangers on pedestals based on a public persona. So it’s hard to say.

22. who are their friends?? lovers?? ‘type’ or ‘ideal’ partner??

So Darlene very much needs people around her, because focusing on others is easier than focusing on herself, but when they get too close, she pushes them away. She doesn’t have many “friends”. She has acquaintances. She has people she sees from time to time in the same spaces. I think about the girls at the party she threw at Angela’s old place in 4x1. They’re not really friends, they clearly don’t know each other very well, but they know of each other and seem to hang out with the same circles. 

And she doesn’t have the most stable romantic relationships, either. Canonically we see her with Cisco. We know she breaks up with him when he makes her mad and then she goes back to him. She hit him with a fucking baseball bat when he was sending her photos to Dark Army. Before Cisco there was humbert, an awful and traumatic endeavor for her. I adore dom.lene but that wasn’t a relationship, and they both have a lot of their own personal shit to work on before they could even play with the idea of a relationship. 

I think Darlene’s ideal partner is someone who can match her intensity but has the ability to bring her down when she’s too intense. Someone who will call her out on her bullshit, but do it gently. Someone who brings out the best sides of her while also embracing her bad sides. Someone patient but firm. That’s a lot to ask for but Darlene is complicated and deeply flawed. At the present time, what Darlene really needs is to take a step back from everyone and focus on herself, because she is incredibly unstable in relationships and that’s simply not fair to the other person.

23. what do they want from a partner?? what do they think and feel of sex??

Again, Darlene doesn’t have the healthiest romantic relationships. She thinks she needs someone to take care of her so that’s what romantic partners are at her beck and call for. She wants someone around but only on her terms. As previously mentioned, what she really needs to do right now is take a step back and focus on herself. Go to therapy and what have you.

She enjoys sex for the most part, though obviously, that’s partner dependent. Her relationship with sex isn’t the healthiest either. It’s often used as a distraction or as a means to get her way. 

24. what social groups and activities does your character attend?? what role do they like to play?? what role do they actually play, usually??

For the lack of close friends, Darlene is a social butterfly. She enjoys clubs, parties, hackerspaces, etc. She can often be found in the center of the room dancing with a drink in hand, until she’s completely overwhelmed and screaming at everyone to get out or hiding in an empty room until she calms down. Aside from these spaces, Darlene doesn’t really have any other social groups.

As a sidenote, I thoroughly enjoy that mid-credit scene during the season 3 finale where she apparently just strikes up a conversation with a random sex worker and they have a full blown conversation about politics and money while walking back to Elliot’s apartment. Darlene is very social, she does enjoy talking to people. She simply is not comfortable with people Knowing her.

25. what are their hobbies and interests??

I was joking the other day about how Darlene needs to get more hobbies and I still stand by that. She has ballet, and she still greatly enjoys that. It’s very controlled. It forces her to focus on one thing at a time. She likes that. She’s good at it. She does enjoy gaming to an extent, though she mostly sticks to Nintendo and portable gaming because she’s constantly on the move and simply cannot be expected to carry a PlayStation in her backpack. She would probably jive with some multiplayer online games. She had a brief stint with freelance graphic design and she still enjoys graphic design. 

Darlene is big on the classic horror and sci-fi films and media. I do not think she has seen a single movie that has come out since 2005. She likes going to the movies, though. The movie theater was a comfort zone for her at one point and it still is. 

26. what does your character’s home look like?? personal taste?? clothing?? hair?? appearance??

Darlene does not have a steady place to live. She couch surfs and crashes at different friend’s places. Thinking about her apartment that she was staying in during season 3 when the FBI had eyes on her, it was...deeply depersonalized. There were no touches of Darlene in there. Even with a semi-stable place to stay, she couldn’t be bothered to decorate the place, add some of her own touches. She left Angela’s apartment as is in season 4. She has zero attachment to the spaces she stays in and treats them as temporary, just like she treats most things in life.

Darlene’s sense of style, though?? Absolutely impeccable. There is so much of Darlene in her clothing, hair, and makeup. She’s got the cool grunge look going on for her. Thrifted clothes that she alters and upcycles, boots for stomping, tastefully wild hair, and dark makeup. Darlene takes great care of her appearance. It’s the one thing she does have, the one aspect of her life that she can control. When everything else is out of her hands, at least she can have kickass winged eyeliner.

27. how do they relate to their appearance?? how do they wear their clothing?? style?? quality??

Literally just said it--Darlene’s appearance is one thing she can control and she puts quite a bit of effort into her appearance. She’s very eclectic with her clothing!! She pulls off so many looks!! I love in 1x2 where she makes a whole outfit out of clothes from Elliot’s closet and it’s probably her most iconic look to date. She rocks that old, musty looking jacket that belonged to Magda. Darlene’s clothing is largely thrifted, partly because fuck fast fashion, partly because she doesn’t have a ton of money, partly because she tends to leave clothes behind when she moves and doesn’t want to waste money on anything crazy expensive when she knows it will likely get lost in one of her many moves. She largely wears dark and neutral colors but we see her in a few bright colors. I, for one, adore that cozy looking colorful sweater she wears after the heist episode. Goes to show how she can pull off pretty much any look.

28. who is your character’s mate?? how do they relate to him or her?? how did they make their choice??

She doesn’t have one. Maybe one day Darlene will settle down but I’ve said it several times already and I will say it many more times, she is taking the time now to focus on herself. She needs to.

29. what is your character’s weaknesses?? hubris?? pride?? controlling??

Yes.

Darlene has a weird dichotomy going on, where she’s both very confident in herself while also constantly seeking validation from others. She knows what she’s doing, she knows what she needs to do, but she thinks she needs approval from others before going forward with it. She is prideful. She is controlling. She desperately needs someone else to tell her it’s okay before she will do something.

30. are they holding on to something in the past?? can he or she forgive??

The great thing about Mr. Robot (2015-2019) is that it says you don’t have to forgive your abusers. You do not owe them shit. Darlene holds onto a ton of resentment for her mother, for humbert, for her father, for many other people who have wronged her. Maybe one day she’ll be able to let go, but she sure as hell doesn’t have to forgive them for what they did and how they treated her.

31. does your character have children?? how do they feel about their parental role?? about the children?? how do the children relate??

Nope, nope, nope, nope.

32. how does your character react to stress situations?? defensively?? aggressively?? evasively??

All of the above. It depends on the situation, who’s involved, and she tends to cycle through all three. In 4x6, I think, whenever Dom has Darlene at gunpoint in the bathtub, I think about how Darlene kind of cycles through defense and aggression and evasion. She screams at Dom, tells her where to stick it, but then she cowers and cries and says, “you don’t have to do this, it’s okay, you don’t have to do this, it’s okay, it’s okay, Dom.” It’s an incredibly interesting cycle to watch. Hell, even clear back in season one, when Vera’s brother and his other goon have Darlene in their clutches. She’s very loud and aggressive until they actually have her, at which point she falls silent. Yet when Janice has her and Dom, she’s pretty openly defiant. Calls Janice a cuntstick and, once again, tells her where to stick it.

33. do they drink?? take drugs?? what about their health??

Haha yeah!! As far as drinking goes, she’s more of a social drinker than anything ( although her little flask in season one absolutely kills me, what a legend--we don’t see her drink in private after that, though ). She does use party drugs ( ecstasy, acid, etc. ) but again, only socially. I don’t think she’s dependent on cocaine in the same way Sam / the Mastermind was dependent on opiates, but it seems to be her drug of choice. She’s strung out on it a few times through the series. She likes to smoke weed, and she’s a heavy cigarette smoker.

Despite all this, Darlene’s health is weirdly pretty stable. She has awful sleeping habits and nutritional habits. She smokes cigarettes like her life depends on it. She’s definitely at least a little underweight and could stand to gain a few pounds. She catches an occasional cold and she’s maybe had the flu two or three times during her life. She doesn’t have any chronic conditions though.

34. does your character feel self-righteous?? revengeful?? contemptuous??

She sure does!! When Trenton said, “You want momentary anarchy,” she was 100% correct. Darlene is incredibly vengeful and contemptuous. Her entire reason behind fsociety and 5/9 was to get revenge on the people who killed her dad and therefore made her life a living hell. She specifically sought out Susan Jacobs’ home because Susan Jacobs was the lawyer who destroyed her family’s case against e-corp. There’s another meta here somewhere about the absolute whirlwind of emotions Darlene goes through when she learns about what an absolute scumball Edward Alderson actually was but the fact of the matter is, it was retribution for his death that she initially wanted and that’s what drove initially drove her.

35. do they always rationalize errors?? how do they accept disasters and failures??

Yes. For her sake, I think she has to. She would absolutely spiral if she couldn’t rationalize errors. Again, Darlene doesn’t have a ton of control in the things in her life, and she has to be able to rationalize that.

When thinking about the second part of this question, I think about the buildings blowing up, and I think about Elliot’s reaction to that vs. Angela’s reaction to that vs. Darlene’s reaction, or rather her lack of reaction, to that. Elliot and Angela were absolutely broken up over it and Darlene was...not. This is a revolution and sometimes people die and it’s for the greater good. It’s not ideal, but shit happens.

36. do they like to suffer?? like to see other people suffering??

Hell no, but she doesn’t really know any other way of living. She’s not always having fun but she doesn’t know what else to do with herself. 

Darlene does not like to see other people suffer. That’s precisely why she brought down ecorp, Whiterose, and the Deus group. Humanity doesn’t deserve to live in the shadows of evil rich corporations and to be controlled by a handful of the most powerful people alive. Darlene enjoys seeing those people suffer. Lowkey she had a blast fucking over Susan Jacobs the way she did. She straight up said so to Susan Jacobs’ face. 

37. how is your character’s imagination?? daydreaming a lot?? worried most of the time?? living in memories??

Darlene is clearly very creative and quick-witted, which leads me to believe she does do a lot of daydreaming. She has the drive to make those daydreams a reality, though. She desires a better world for herself and for other people, so what does she do?? Co-founds a hacktivist group, crashes the economy, and then doxxes and redistributes the wealth of the most powerful people on the planet. With that being said, she is very grounded and present. She does have one foot in the past, but most of her energy is in the now.

38. are they basically negative when facing new things?? suspicious?? hostile?? scared?? enthusiastic??

Once again, for her own sake, she has to be enthusiastic about change. Darlene’s life is constantly in motion. She’s constantly on the move, jumping from one thing to the next. Things aren’t working in the world, things need to change with the world. For as cynical as she is, Darlene does enjoy experiencing new things and she is often hopeful that things will be better this time around.

39. what do they like to ridicule?? what do they find stupid??

Anything, everything, most things. She’s mean. Big April Ludgate energy over here, honestly. Darlene never hesitates at the opportunity to absolutely decimate someone or something.

40. how is their sense of humor?? do they have one??

Very dry and deadpan and sarcastic. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when she’s joking or being serious. She’s always saying something about eating the rich and guillotining the president and she’s both joking and being very serious. I have absolutely referenced this tik tok before, spammed everyone I know with it, and I will post it again because it is pretty much PEAK Darlene’s sense of humor. She absolutely has a spoof twitter account where she just @ Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Zuckie 24/7, I do not make the rules.

41. is your character aware of who they are?? strengths?? weaknesses?? idiosyncrasies?? capable of self-irony??

Darlene has a lot of self-awareness but she lacks the ability to make much change. She knows what her strengths are and she knows what her weaknesses are. She’s confident, but she’s prideful. She’s very sure of herself, but she craves validation from others. She makes jokes about all of her psychological dysfunction but she has very little insight into how off the rails she actually is. She knows she’s a bitch but she doesn’t care and she will remain that way, thank you very much.

42. what does your character want most?? what do they need really badly, compulsively?? what are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain??

It’s hard to say what she wants most. I do think Darlene craves stability. She’s not a stable person in really any sense of the word. At the same time, she enjoys the freedom of drifting from one place to the next. I think she wants a balance of that. The ability to do as she pleases while maintaining relationships with the people she loves. She’s only barely figuring out what she needs to do to obtain that. Therapy, for one, and actively working on her own shit, actively utilizing whatever coping mechanisms she’s taught, actively making changes to her lifestyle. She’ll eventually fall back into her ways of petty crime because she enjoys it and would rather perish than work for the man. But she wants to be able to do so without compromising her relationships anymore.

43. does your character have any secrets?? if so, are they holding them back??

Darlene keeps most things in her life a secret from others. You don’t ask, she doesn’t tell. Even if you do ask, she might not tell. It might not be as surfaced as Elliot, but Darlene is fairly paranoid herself and reveals very little about herself to others. She doesn’t own any credit cards and aside from her SSN and a driver's license, there’s little documented information on Darlene. Lord knows she’ll try and wipe her information from whatever database the FBI has.

44. how badly do they want to obtain their life objectives?? how do they pursue them??

She doesn’t have any life objectives, really. Traumatized individuals have difficulty comprehending the future and Darlene is certainly one of those people. She can’t make herself see anything more than a few weeks into the future because who knows where she’ll be in the next hour?? She very much lives in the present and takes things one day at a time. She doesn’t plan for the future, she doesn’t have any life objectives. Whatever happens happens and she doesn’t necessarily like that but again, she can’t make herself future trip.

45. is your character pragmatic?? think first?? responsible?? all action?? a visionary?? passionate?? quixotic??

Pragmatic, visionary, and passionate, yes, very much so. Think first, sometimes--there is a lot of thought, tact, and planning that has to go into programming and con work, but one has to be prepared for everything to wrong at the same time. All action?? Absolutely!! Responsible?? Fuck no. Quixotic, from time to time. Darlene’s a thinker and then she runs with what she has.

46. is your character tall?? short?? what about size?? weight?? posture?? how do they feel about their physical body??

Darlene is 5′5″ and weighs in at about 125 lbs. Average height but somewhat underweight. She’s quite petite and thin--if she wraps her hand around her wrist, she can touch her thumb to her pinky. She doesn’t have a lot of curves. She definitely has the posture of a ballerina. She holds herself very upright and the way she walks is very calculated. Her feet turn outwards slightly when she’s standing and when she walks, her steps are nearly parallel to each other. 

47. do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person?? does they want to be visible or invisible??

I wouldn’t say Darlene wants to project an image as being younger or older or more important. She definitely wants to come off as powerful and intelligent. Frankly, she achieves that. But she does like to remain anonymous. She doesn’t need people knowing what she’s all about. She’s fine with being underestimated because it means people are in for an even ruder surprise when she completely destroys them, and she gets a lot of satisfaction from that.

48. how are your character’s gestures?? vigorous?? weak?? controlled?? compulsive?? energetic?? sluggish?

Definitely very energetic and grand, often times erring on the side of aggressive. That’s simply a condition of Darlene’s existence. 

49. what about voice?? pitch?? strength?? tempo and rhythm of speech?? pronunciation?? accent??

Darlene is loud as fuck and good for her, honestly. She has very little volume control. Her voice can be shrill and it has the tendency to break when she’s overwhelmed or excited. She has a bit of that smoker's rasp, too. Her tempo is very controlled, though. She speaks at a pretty average pace, though she slows her speech when she’s being deliberate. There isn’t much to say in terms of an accent, though I still think it would be hilarious if she had a strong Jersey accent. There’s a lot of emotion in her voice and it fluctuates greatly.

50. what are the prevailing facial expressions?? sour?? cheerful?? dominating??

For as much as she emotes in the way she speaks, Darlene’s facial expressions are rather constricted, which is very interesting. She has a chronic case of resting bitch face and her facial expressions are rather subtle. 

[nobodies-png]

modern!au is a CONCEPT. bless y'all. could u do some hcs for modern! roxas, ventus, vanitas, xion, and sora + having a disney marathon w/ their s/o? like what movies they pick, do they sing along, r there snuggles, what snacks are brought, etc. (pls feel free to add any other details u want. i love lil details.) (this might've sent once already, my page refreshed. if so, sorry!) hugs & kisses!

o this is such a wholesome prompt, thanks for sending it !

Sora : 

You’re looking at the Disney King himself. He knows a shit ton of movies and almost every song in existence so you bet your ass he’s gonna sing. And you’ll probably tag along too, his enthusiasm is just so contagious - hell, it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the lyrics, just sing whatever you want to the rhythm of the song with him ! 

He’ll b e g you to watch Big Hero Six and the Lion King movies with him. After that, you can choose anything you want but just p l e a s e let him watch those, they’re his absolute favorites. Also, remember to keep some napkins around cause Sora will cry no matter the movie, the messages just hit d e e p and he’s just a softie. Just snuggle with him for a bit and pat his back while he just stutters about how cool the movies were, he’ll eventually stop with the waterworks. 

You know what ? Sora probably has a lot of Disney merch. If you guys are having a disney marathon, you’re gonna do it properly. He won’t hesitate to prepare his entire house just for this movie night - building a pillow fort in the living room so you two can chill comfortably, hoarding a lot of snacks and like a thousand popcorn bags, wearing his Stitch onesie (and probably lending you his Winnie the Pooh onesie if you’re up for it !) 

Like the whole concept could feel childish, but not to Sora ! He grew up with Disney and he holds those movies very dear to his heart, so he’d be so happy to know that you’re willing to pull an all-nighter with him ! You’re never too old to enjoy these things.

You know Sora would suggest inviting absolutely everyone, but he won’t complain if you wish for a more intimate date. That’s fine with him too ! The two of you would have such a fun time and then pass out in the pillow fort at like 4 am. 

Vanitas : 

You know those people who are like “Pffft, Disney is overrated” ? That’s Vanitas right there. The guy looks like he’s fueled by kicking puppies and being a generally mean jerk - but you know better than that. Vanitas has zero knowledge about Disney cause he was never interested in cartoons as a kid so he simply assumes it’s bad. It’s up to you to show him the real deal.

At first he’d be against the idea of having a marathon. The guy can barely pay attention to class or hold a normal conversation and you want him to just sit there and watch movies ? U n b e l i e v a b l e. Are you singing ? Please stop, no singing allowed in this house, no he doesn't want to be part of your world, plEASE SPARE HIM - Accepts in the end just to avoid doing homework. He’d let you pick whatever movie you want, but if he were to choose, he’d probably go with the Lady and the Tramp, Treasure Planet or any Pirates of the Caribbean movie. 

No one will be able to wipe off that shit eating grin off your face after seeing Vanitas go from constantly talking over the movie, critizicing everything, teasing you for being so childish to just being dead silent, completely absorbed in whatever movie you two decide to watch. Feel free to catch him off guard with a smooch here, he’ll probably have a hard time processing what the fuck you just did cause holy shit did you see Hercules beat Hades' ass?

If you introduce Vanitas to the whole conspiracy theory about all Disney movies being related, you better be ready for 3 hours of him just rambling about the posibilities. Now THAT’s something that interests him. The movies would just be background noise as you two just talk away into the night, probably in the kitchen while preparing some weird food combination cause you two ran out of snacks. 

If you expect Vanitas to admit that he was wrong and that Disney was, in fact, something pretty cool then you better sit down, honey. The closest thing you’ll get is him just stubbornly saying that “he wouldn’t mind spending more time with you, watching movies for kids.” 

Ventus : 

Ventus is a casual fan. The type that just knows the old 2D princess classics because he grew up with them, but just slowly lost track of what the hell Disney was doing. Like he probably didn't even get to see the Princess and the Frog - But's all good cause he's eager to see your favorite Disney movies !

If you make him choose a movie to watch, he'd go with the safe choices. Stuff that he knows like Snow White, the Little Mermaid and Cinderella. I can see him loving Pocahontas, Moana and the Three Musketeers, though.

If you want to pull an all nighter to watch as many classics as you can, he won't stop you and he'll try to stay awake with you (and pass out a little after midnight, lmao) - but he'd insist on taking breaks cause looking at a screen for over 6 hours straight can't be h e a l t h y.

Ventus would gladly cuddle and snuggle with you - and he'd also love to sing along, but the poor dude doesn't really know any of the lyrics. Solution ? Just put on those good subtitles and there you go ! He'd love to sing Aladdin's A Whole New World with you or just any duet. You two would get so into it that your neighbours would propably have to knock on the walls a few times so you'll lower your volume.

If you ever mention your favorite (s) disney character(s), you can totally expect Ventus to show up one day unnanounced with a plushie of them, just for you. Consider this his way of saying thanks ! And also apologize for passing out so early - he'll make up for that inviting you to yet another movie night with him.

Roxas :

Another casual fan, but the complete opposite of Ventus. Roxas never got into 2D Disney as a kid and he's more into the 3D additions like Brave, Coco or Frankenweenie. He's also that type of controversial fan who actually enjoyed the liveaction remakes of the old classics.

But don't get him wrong, he's still a r u t h l e s s critic. Roxas gets bored pretty quickly with movies that have such obvious and bland plots and twists that he can see them coming from a mile away. I see him being more of a Pixar fan, just quoting Shrek in his usual deadpan voice on a daily basis. Roxas' brain in a 1000 heartless fight : "and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming and they-"

If you want to watch movies with him, prepare to discover Roxas' more sassy side - the guy just can't hold back all these funny remarks and jabs at Disney Fairy Tale Logic™. "Oh good for you Gaston, trying to send your crush's father to a psychiatric ward just so she can pay attention to you is SUCH a powermove. You should've dated Lefou instead -" "Do you think Ariel's daughter was born with a mermaid tail or legs? Imagine the monstrosity -".

In the end you two wouldn't even pay attention to the actual movies, since you'd be too busy mocking and impersonating every character and just rolling on the floor laughing your asses off. Your snapchat and instagram stories would be filled with videos of each other doing dumb stuff, calling out all the tiny mistakes as if you two were CinemaSins.

In the end, this Disney Marathon would just turn into a weekly movie night where you two just watch everything and anything. Sometimes it's fun and goofy, and sometimes you two actually get into the plot and discuss all the h i d d e n lore. Roxas would feel super special to have this little new tradition with you.

Xion :

Xion is the definition of a Disney Princess. She absolutely loves every princess movie and you bet your ass she screamed when all of them appeared in full 3D during Ralph breaks the Internet. Like she's a natural romantic and a dreamer at heart, so all the fairy tales just get to her, always tearing up during the climax of the movies.

Ironically, most of her favorite Disney movies aren't princess related : Aristocats, Peter Pan, Tangled and Brother Bear. Xion is that type of person who just points out all the similarities between her friends and the characters. Like Kenai and Kods's bond remind her of her and Roxas' friendship with Axel, Saix reminds her of Randall from Monsters Inc, Kairi is totally Lilo and Aqua is Nani - You get the idea !

Even if you suggested the idea of a Disney Marathon, Xion would just plan the best course of action and take the lead almost immediately. She's just so excited to be able to spend this night with you that she wants to make the most of it ! Snacks ? Check. Netflix and other sites to see movies ? Check. A shit ton of blankets and hot cocoa ? Check. The perfect partner ? Check.

Xion would do her best to not break out into fullblown singing - mostly out of respect for her roommates and neighbours, but you'll definitely hear her hum along and mutter the lyrics under her breath. And if the song is catchy enough, she'd love to pull you in for a dance !

At the end of the night, you two would be exhausted but content. Probably giving up on seeing all the movies, just listening to a disney playlist on Youtube while you two do stupid and silly Buzzfeed quizzes like "What Disney villain are you based on your aesthetics" and such. Xion has trouble sleeping, so you'll most likely end up falling asleep on her first. She'll stay awake till sunrise, taking a few sneaky selfies with you peacefully sleeping by her side.

[fuckcyberlife]

DBH Fic Recs

Some faves below the cut.

The Artist by KyDesert

"Sometimes, you’ve gotta fight your own battles, kid.”

And fight he did while he lay on Hank’s sofa, swaddled in blankets and unable to move. Too hot, but much, much too cold. Motionless while the last of CyberLife’s programming tore through his systems and made his hands ache to complete one final mission.

Damn did Hank wish he could be there to help the kid fight this one.

Lidocaine by SgtSalt

Markus is a caretaker. Markus is a nurse.

Markus is an android, and androids don't need either of the jobs he was created to do, because they can't feel pain.

A character exploration from Markus' POV, as he figures out what makes him - and other androids - uniquely alive. Features reflections about Carl and developing a rapport with Connor, who has a confession to make. Starts pre-canon and ends slightly post-canon.

seven, five, three, five, seven by WonderAss

Being alive is a messy process. Connor is confronted again with the double-edged sword of higher thinking when he starts displaying the first signs of a disorder.

empty-handed by silverhedges

Connor hunting Markus, successfully.

“The first time Markus hears of the android detective is from the TV they stole and managed to illegally rig up in the main living room.”

Getting Ahead of Deviancy by lapsi

The FBI begins to infringe on Lieutenant Hank Anderson's investigation of the TV station hijacking, in the form of the newly established Deviant Science Unit. The Bureau's answer to outbreaks of deviant behaviour, this unit collects data on deviant androids in order to understand and preempt criminal behaviour. So, Hank has no fucking idea why they've zeroed in on a non-deviant android, his partner Connor.

(The Mindhunter x Detroit: Become Human crossover that nobody asked for)

Empathy (and other dead weight) by CynKLBouns

Sure, now everyone wanted to hold hands, give out flowers, and pretend machines were real boys and girls or some shit. As if they weren’t hunting them through every city like rats just a month ago. People going nuts over their crusade one moment, stinking up the streets with the fires, and all of a sudden everything just fucking stops as though anything changed.

Nothing fucking changed.

A machine was still a machine, no matter how fancy its program.

How to be Authentic by StoriesFromDust

Hank was at work. Connor should be at work. He frowned from the sofa, staring at his jacket across the room. He liked that jacket. His favorite part of being woken up after uploading to a new build was when he put the jacket on and fixed his tie. He was mad that it had betrayed him, become something that marked him as less-than-a-person.

Changed the name from 'A Loan I Can't Repay' as I got farther in the story and figured out the ending. Sorry if it confused anyone!

Fear Response by joudama

Gavin Reed’s eyes narrowed, and the man was almost vibrating with a barely-contained rage. But there was also something else in his eyes, a “blink-and-you-would-miss it” tremor of something else, enough to make Connor pause and analyze the other man.

Clue: Slight widening of the eyes, with the whites showing around the irises.

Clue: Increased breathing, but shallow breaths; not the faster, heavier breaths associated with anger and rage.

Clue: Increased heart rate.

Clue: Loss of facial color due to constriction of capillaries, and a resulting vasodilation of central blood vessels to muscles.

Analysis: Gavin Reed was afraid.

Further Analysis: Gavin Reed was afraid of him.

of all ghosts by BeepGrandCherokeeper

In the moment, he’d defined the statue as religious – but androids have no distant gods who require worship, only their human creators. Reverence is as far outside their limited scope as any other emotion, and yet…

“In the bathroom,” Connor says, testing the waters. The deviant looks up at him abruptly, moving with a speed that blatantly indicates interest. “You left something behind. An offering. Why? What purpose does it serve?”

“So I’ll be saved,” it replies. “rA9. The first. The only one who can save us.”

Mind-Blowing by Reddooo

“I mean it, Gavin,” Hank said. “If Price even looks at you funny, if he gives you any shit—” He took a step closer to Gavin to make sure that the younger man was listening. Reed began to fidget considerably by the proximity, but it didn’t seem to be from anger. It was almost as if he was getting upset, “—you come to me immediately. Do you understand?”

Gavin didn’t answer. He hadn’t looked over at Hank since he started talking to him directly. Chris and Connor exchanged glances. Connor’s interest was more than piqued. Hank was acting almost… protective? Was that the word? Protective over Gavin?

“Gavin?” Hank called again and Gavin’s attention finally snapped to the acting captain.

“Yes. Hank. I understand.”

---

An accident at a neighboring precinct has two departments sharing office space, but Gavin and Hank have murderous beef with the guest lieutenant and Connor is determined to find out why.

stay out of trouble by yellow_caballero

Unemployment was not the best thing to ever happen to Connor, but it was high on the list. The best thing to ever happen to Connor was the sight of a Corgi wearing a small cowboy hat leashed to a post in front of the liquor shop. The second best thing to ever happen to him was the emancipation of his people from slavery and the opening of negotiations for equal rights. But unemployment may come in at a solid third.

march of progress by Calamitatum

Connor could fill a book with the things he doesn't know. One of Hank’s big, thick paperbacks, pages worn with age, covers creased and coffee-stained.

"What?" Hank grouses once, when he catches him looking. "They’re well-loved, at least."

Connor looks at himself, smooth plastic and pressed clothes. No creases, no stains.

Tonic by psymyn

The reclining chair had been a gift from Hank—something about housewarming—and Connor has never felt the need to get anything else.

All of Detroit is Lonely by steadycoffeeslow (Salimity)

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Hank’s non-alcohol addled brain was reminding him he hadn’t told Connor anything in particular at Stratford Tower. Last he could rightly remember, they were both watching that deviant’s speech and Connor hadn’t shared his thoughts with the detective. Connor had clearly been thinking of something, but of what, Hank couldn’t decipher. A part of him, at the time, had hoped that the deviant’s message had swayed something in Connor. Hank sure felt that it had swayed something in him.

Can androids and humans coexist? As Connor and Hank cope with the rapidly changing political climate of Detroit, their choices threaten what peace the partners have forged. Updates Friday-Saturday-Sunday

The Novelist by Satirrian

Androids did not feel. His mind was cold metal and white plastic. He was nothing more than a mission. The time was 1207 and Lieutenant Anderson was due to arrive at the station. Connor predicted that there was a 67% chance that Lt. Anderson had not arrived at the station.

Some new cases come in that make Connor wonder what deviants really are.

passing time. by shorelines

Androids don't sleep. They don't eat. Sometimes, they don't even die. So what do they do, with all that time?

The hobbies and histories of three androids, now and into the future.

Uncanny by MercuryPilgrim

It’s strange, how RK-800 is more unnerving as a Deviant than he ever was as a machine.

Meanwhile... by wintercoat

Connor is loitering in his peripheral vision, his officious shoulder angel. “What are you doing, Lieutenant?”

“Questioning my life choices.”

Christmas, 2038 by phocion

The mostly peaceful Android Rebellion of 2038 ended with tentative success, but now the androids must carve out a permanent place in a wary society. Markus, trying to hold on to that hard-won freedom, gets drawn into Hank and newly deviant Connor’s investigation into a string of complex thefts and murders. With far too many coincidences for comfort and old enemies resurfacing in the shadows, Markus has to figure out fast who he can trust. Letting North blow everyone up is starting to sound like a better idea every day…

--

Mostly an excuse to write more Markus and Connor interactions, now featuring triple the angst, double the Tracis, allegedly naked confessions in a public restroom, and a furby.

error by ZombieBabs

An error message, angry red and insistent, fills Connor’s field of vision.

He blinks, but diagnostics reveal no malfunction. And yet, the error message persists.

It buzzes like an old neon sign, refusing to be ignored.

warm and waking by puppyblue

Connor is not a deviant. He has also been programmed with the ability to lie.

November Cold by floweryhanzo

He's not answering the messages, but by now, Connor knows where to find him.

Fish in a Bowl by ConnorRK

“So as long as it’s not the face, it’s fine, huh?” Reed says. His free hand is suddenly on Connor’s neck, fingers soft against the line of his jaw, and the press of skin is hot. He lets it trail down the front of the CyberLife coat, and Connor can’t stop the shiver of his plates as they respond to the light pressure. “I’ve heard that before.”

(Connor is forced to work with Gavin on the deviancy case when Hank is injured and relegated to two weeks of desk duty.)

Faulty Buzzer by spitfireoo

Connor glitches out and can’t wake up. Hank finds him unresponsive on the couch and remembers the last time he had to carry a son.

Five Times Gavin Receives Kindness and +1 Times He Tries To Give It Back by Lady_Origami

It's hard to continue hating a person when said person is apparently a rather kind soul. Even if that person isn't a person at all, but an android with the same job as him.

101 Things (about Lieutenant Hank Anderson) by MoonlightPastime

“Good morning, Hank.” The Lieutenant grunted, mouth buried in the mug already. Connor glanced towards the tv, led flickering for half a second it took to turn in on. This was also ‘routine’ now. Another thing Connor now knew.

Non-verbal before consuming at least 2.76 fluid oz of coffee.

In which Connor does even more 'homework' on Hank.

Castaways by SilverKnight16

Connor grit his teeth. Why was he making this difficult? “If CyberLife knew that deviancy had the potential to end human lives, they had an obligation to their consumers to protect them from the danger as soon as they were made aware. And if CyberLife knew that deviancy was the formation of self-awareness, then their attempts to stop it are tantamount to genocide.”

“And if you were programmed to hunt them down, that makes you an accessory to murder.” Hank swigged again.

Connor stiffened, Thirium 310 churning loudly in his audio receptors.

--

Like a piece of driftwood in a hurricane, Connor, Hank, and everyone else stranded in the eye of the storm have to navigate something much bigger than themselves--or die.

Validation by spiderstanspiderstan

Post-revolution, androids in the workforce require bi-annual validation. Connor has just turned six months old, and is going for his first.

He does not like it.

Hands Stained Blue by PorcelainPlayground

After the car crash that changed their lives forever, Hank Anderson ends up buying an android to help care for his son, Cole. Being short on money, Hank turns to a collection of second-hand androids and stumbles across Connor, who quickly becomes the second son Hank never knew he wanted.

Too Long, Lost Cause by staringatstars

Fowler knows he didn't stop being Hank's friend when he became his captain. He's been trying to help him for years, but it's starting to seem like the old Anderson isn't coming back. If anything, he's only getting worse.

And he'd hoped giving him a partner, even an android partner, would help get him out of the rut he'd fallen into, but now he can't help but wonder if his latest plan to reignite the fire in him hasn't worked a little too well.

The 5 Times Gavin Was An Ass and the 1 Time He Wasn’t by HelsSoBlue

5 times Gavin was an ass and elicited a response from Connor. And the one time he wasn't an ass.

or

Connor has had enough of Gavin's shit, and Hank is loving every moment of it.

A Strange Comet by windyfiend

Connor's dedication to Jericho's mission -- and his guilt over having hunted his own people -- has him working tirelessly every moment of every day and night. He's given himself no time to breathe, let alone live his new life.

Hank's got something to say about that.

Man’s Best Friend by ryouseiteki

Can one small change affect the course of a Revolution? Connor takes a left instead of a right at the Detroit Police Department reception the morning of his first meeting with Hank.

Connor's brow furrows as he accesses the new ID and doesn't see Lieutenant Anderson listed under Handler. In fact... he is listed under Handler and instead of being under partner or associate, he's been placed above a Trainee named-

"FuzzButtIncoming, come." The android calls out, and through a slot in the door on the other side of the room, a tiny bundle of fur almost buried under a DPD K-9 Unit vest comes gamboling up to stand beside it.

Someone had desperately wanted its initials to spell FBI.

Guillotine by assistmediagnostics

"Then I'll crawl back to Jericho," and as if to exemplify this fact, Simon puts one hand on the graffitied wall, puts his right foot forward, drags his left foot behind it. Rinse. Repeat. It takes him an inordinately long amount of time to walk five feet and by two feet and six and a half inches, Markus is already shaking his head.

"I'm not leaving you behind, Simon."

it's anchored to my racing mind (maybe you can slow its stride) by bibliomatic

Connor's programming tells him he's wrong for being deviant. The new world tells him he's wrong for thinking he's wrong for being a deviant. The result: he feels bad about everything.

Hank's history has led to untreated depression and a roster of coping mechanisms that consists pretty much entirely of alcohol and a partially loaded gun. He isn't really equipped to handle an anxious android on top of that, but he can't bring himself to abandon him either.

The result: Connor moves in.

The result: They begin to help each other.

The result: They fall in love.

((aka conflicts between Connor's opinions and his programming lead to moral OCD, which he deals with badly; he moves in with a still-depressed Hank, which who isn't doing so hot himself; together they learn to deal with their problems and each other a bit better))

cool shit by niltia

Hank hates when Connor puts stuff in his mouth for instrumental analysis. The forensics department personnel, on the other hand, think it’s the best shit ever.

MCR.exe by hopelesspapaya

Cyberlife is about to make a deal with the State Department, but all they have is a prototype with a buggy social module. They stress about that, while Connor tries his best. Meanwhile, Markus learns to play the piano, and develops the artistic taste of an angsty preteen. Kamski and Amanda Struggle through it all.

Canon-era crack taken seriously.

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Fragile Hearts Ch. 3: I Want Your Midnights

Remember you can commission me for continuations with just 5 dollars!!! <3 </i>

Click the OP if the READ MORE link does not show!

Click here for chapter 1

Click Here for Ch. 2

Of course a big thank you to the person who commissioned! 

READ ON AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11928798/chapters/26961477

A TRIGGER WARNING- dubious consent/implied assault (in the past NOT between hidge)

You should know that I was debating this chapter and where it went for a while before deciding to go ahead and keep it as it was. I actually had to get my guy friend’s input on it.

I’ve always said that I wanted to write reality. I’ve always wanted to write stories that incorporate the real world, not just some fantasy life. I believe that the things we are shielded from in literature, those things that place banned books on a list together, are all things that need to be talked about. So I’m hoping that you all as reader can understand that too.

Please feel free to stop reading if it gets uncomfortable. I promise the chapter after will pick up just fine. But if you are willing to read it, please understand why I write what I write. These things happen. And they aren’t talked about. In a sense, I was also sort of imposing my experiences on these characters. Writing is therapeutic for me and I tend to do so often before I realize it.

I’ve sort of hinted at it with Pidge in previous chapters, but this one explains a little further. There is no explicit detail, I know I may be making it out to seem like a scene from The Kite Runner or something, but no. I just know that a lot of people tend to get offended if not warned about the slightest possible trigger so I’m trying to take precautions.

I hope you all continue to read and watch this love story develop! 

Thank you all for reading!

These butterflies were not welcome. Not in the slightest. They made everything so complicated. And it wasn’t a simple fluttering or even a swarm. It was a fucking tsunami of butterflies every single time she knew Hunk was coming around and every single time as he left.

It was strange though. As soon as Hunk was there with her, as soon as he hugged her and started conversation, they went away. And Pidge felt so comfortable, hours could pass without her realizing just by joking and talking and catching up. It was like her butterflies were sedated by his presence. She was thankful because said sedation kept her from acting weird around him. Hunk knew her too well, and he would easily pick up on her acting different around him.

He stopped by the apartment every day after work to say hi to her and Matt. And he’d stay to talk into the late hours of the night. Typically, Matt would end up excusing himself to sleep, leaving Pidge and Hunk to talk and laugh.

They had a habit of always reverting to food. Somehow, each conversation would veer off until Pidge was asking Hunk about his baking and cooking. And each time, Pidge found herself smiling at the light that came into Hunk’s eyes when he talked about it. Whether it was about umami and how he had to get ingredients to react together just right for that special taste, or if it was about the serenity of icing cakes, or the excitement each time a customer freaked out over the intricateness of their cake. It didn’t matter. Hunk would light up and ramble, and Pidge could feel herself falling a little more for him with each word.

One night, Pidge joined him at his apartment to enjoy a few drinks. She didn’t like drinking around Matt, partially because she always felt like she was still 15 in his eyes. But he would also always be just an 18 year-old in hers. Besides, it was a big day! Hunk had gotten booked for cakes for the entire month of January and it was New Year’s Eve!

New Year’s Day was a Monday, so Matt had taken a single shot of whiskey and gone to bed.

Meanwhile, Pidge was still on vacation and Hunk had closed the bakery for tomorrow. They were just fine sitting in his apartment drinking cheap champagne out of the bottle as they watched fireworks through the window.

“Any resolutions, Pidge?” he asked.

“To graduate. Get a job.” She looked over at him and passed him the bottle. “You?”

He tipped the bottle back and sighed. “I don’t know. Every year since we got back, I tell myself I’m gonna find the others. Just to know they’re okay. But I can never bring myself to.”

She frowned and hoisted herself up to sit on the window ledge. “Why not?”

“Because we all lost contact for a reason, right? We remind each other of… bad times and…. They wouldn’t want to see me. Lance was my best friend, and if he hasn’t reached out to me, it’s because he doesn’t want me reaching out to him. We’re our own reminders of war, Pidge.” She looked down at her hands and furrowed her eyebrows. “Shit. I didn’t mean…. You’re not….”

“It’s okay,” she said offering him a smile. “I get it.”

“No,” he insisted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The champagne is making my words come out funny. It’s just….” He took a breath and looked at Pidge. “I’m happy I saw you again. I don’t want you to disappear, even though I know you’re okay. I miss Lance and Keith and Shiro, but I’m scared they won’t want to see me. Yeah, we all needed distance at first; we’re all we had on the castle for like four years. But now I just want things back to how they used to be.”

She smiled and leaned her head back. “You mean, me posing as a guy and Lance and Keith competing in everything?” He laughed and shook his head. “Yeah I get it. When I saw you at the bakery, I kind of panicked. I wondered if seeing me would upset you.”

“I wondered that too. If I’d upset you, or if I’d get upset unconsciously. But honestly, all I’ve felt since I saw you again has been relief.” She smiled at him, the blush in her cheeks not only from the alcohol buzzing happily in her brain, but from the closeness and the quiet words. “I’m so happy you’re back in my life, Katie Holt.”

She turned away, unable to contain her smile. “You’re getting sappy, Garrett.” She hopped off the windowsill and took his hand. “Come on. Now isn’t the time for gloom. We’re gonna get trashed and we’re gonna reign in the new year smiling!”

He laughed and followed her to the kitchen where they poured themselves another drink. And then another. And another. Hunk turned on some music and cleared the living room where they stumbled around, claiming to dance, laughing so hard their stomachs hurt.

Pidge felt warm and her face was probably hurting from smiling so much, but she couldn’t feel it. She’d opened the window and the apartment was so cold, her fingers were numb. She and Hunk kept slurring words, laughing at each other dancing clumsily around the living room. Suddenly fireworks went off one after another, screams and squeals of delight rising up to the apartment window.

“What time’s it?” Pidge asked, dragging herself to the couch as she recovered from a laughing fit. “M’God, Hu-unk!” He hummed and plopped down beside her. “We missed the coun’dow,’” she whined.

“We can make our own,” he said. “Okay, okay. Ready? Ten! Nine! Eight!” Pidge laughed and leaned over, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He blinked rapidly and chuckled softly. “You’re s’posed to wait till zero.”

“Oh. Whoops.” He chuckled and looked at her, unfocused eyes and breath that smelled sweet from the Disaronno liquor. “Happy New Year.”

“Happy New Year, Pidge.” He leaned in and kissed her cheek, and suddenly every cold, numb feeling went away and her entire body was alive with warmth and joy. She bit her lip to contain her smile, glancing at him.

He was so close. His dark skin lighting up with the fireworks outside, the steady beat of whatever song was playing from the television. She could just lean forward and give in and blame it on being drunk.

If it weren’t for the sudden lurch of her stomach.

She took a breath and swallowed hard. “Gotta use the bathroom,” she mumbled, standing unsteadily as she walked to the bathroom. He followed behind her, asking if she was okay, but she didn’t trust herself to talk.

The good thing about being drunk is that you’re never really too aware of the moment you throw up. Pidge always hated being sick, but it wasn’t so terrible when she was drunk. It just sort of happened until she was… sort of done.

She was vaguely aware of a hand at her back, vaguely realized she should be embarrassed.

She flushed the toilet, cleaned her mouth, and looked back at Hunk with a smile. “I think I drank too much.”

Hunk smiled and shook his head, his arm wrapped around her middle as he pulled her back against him. He ran his fingers through the waves of hair on one side as she sighed. For a moment it was just them, sleepy and drunk on the bathroom floor.

“’M cold an’ tired,” she whispered.

“You should rest. I’ll sleep on-” he hiccupped, “couch.”

She shook her head and tilted her head back. “No. You’re warm. Stay with me.”

“Mkay.”

It took a while before they both stood and made their way to Hunk’s room to sleep. He lent her a pair of basketball short and a shirt that she changed into before crawling under the covers and promptly falling asleep.

***

When Pidge woke up, the room was cold and unfamiliar. She turned over, groaning at the throbbing in her head, the disgusting taste in her mouth, and burn in her stomach. She kicked her feet, seeking comfort until her leg brushed against someone’s much warmer leg. She turned and saw Hunk sleeping on his stomach, turned away from her.

For a second, she panicked.

Had they done anything the night before? Had she said something stupid?

But then again, this was Hunk. She could trust him with her life. And she didn’t feel any different from a normal mediocre hangover. She was fully clothed… in his clothes, which were very comfortable. Everything was fine.

She nudged him and grumbled, turning his head. “Hunk, wake up,” she prodded, her voice hoarse.

He groaned and blinked, adjusting to the light in the room. “Whoa. Uh, morning,” he said with a light blush on his cheeks.

“Why is your room so cold?”

“I know I had the heater on yesterday. I dunno.” She shivered and curled into a fetal position. “You okay?”

“Hangover aside, yeah. Just cold.” She heard the chiming bells of her ringtone as a call came in. “Shit. Where’s my phone? Where are my pants?”

“What?” She got up and heard his sigh of relief. “Oh my God, okay. Okay. I need food.”

He stood as she searched the bathroom for her clothes, cursing the cold as she shivered. A hangover was bad enough, and shivering from the cold wasn’t helping. When she found her phone, she answered and looked herself in the mirror, cringing at the way her hair stuck up in odd places, tangling itself.

“Hello?”

“Good morning, Pidge,” Matt chuckled. “You sound like shit.”

“Thanks, asshole.”

“Do I want to know what happened last night over there?”

Pidge huffed and ran her hand through her hair, trying to fix it. God, Hunk woke up to see her like this? “Nothing.”

“So you’re not hungover?” She cringed at the prospect of Matt knowing that. “Just tell me this isn’t the beginning of you two dating, because I promise my speech at the wedding will begin with, ‘So they got drunk on New Year’s and that’s what bring you all here!’”

“Oh my God. Matt!” He laughed, and she sat on the toilet seat cover. “No, nothing happened. I’ll be home in a bit, okay?”

“Drink water, eat food. I’ll be at work though, so I wanted to call.”

“Will do. And okay, I’ll probably just sleep until you get back then. Happy New Year’s, Matt. Love you.”

“Love you too, Pidge.”

She hung up and sighed before going to the sink to at least wash her mouth with mouthwash. She walked out, feeling embarrassed and gross and weird. She hugged her body and followed the scent of food to the kitchen.

“I found the reason the place was so cold. I think we opened the window at some point and forgot to close it,” Hunk said. She chuckled and sat down, watching him move expertly around the kitchen. Suddenly, he turned and leaned onto the counter to face her. His face was surprisingly red despite his dark skin. “Did I trespass at all? I just… I feel like there’s something I should apologize for, and I can’t remember much from yesterday and-”

Pidge laughed and threw a rage at his face to shut him up. “Relax Hunk. As far as I remember you were an absolute gentleman.” She blushed and looked down. “And if you’re asking what I think you’re asking, no I don’t think that happened. I… feel the same. And I’m pretty sure I’d feel different.”

“You haven’t…?”

She shook her head. “My dating life hasn’t been the best, dude. I don’t like the idea of sleeping around for fun. Not… for my first time.” She cleared her throat then glanced at him. “H-have you?”

He nodded and looked away again. “I was… in a bad place the first time. I had a girlfriend and she was a little… pushy? Manipulative?”

“A bitch,” Pidge supplied in a clipped tone.

Hunk just chuckled. “Yeah, that’s another way to put it. I don’t know. I was lonely. I didn’t want to let her go. It didn’t last though. Maybe a month max?” He shrugged. “After that it was a blind date my coworker set me up with. I wasn’t really into it, I didn’t know her much. Took weeks for me to feel like myself. That’s why… I just wanted to know I hadn’t fucked up again.”

Pidge took a shaking breath and bit her lip. Hunk’s back was to her, but she looked at him anyway. “Well, you didn’t. I promise.” She couldn’t help the way her heart sank, though. The idea of Hunk with other girls…. None of them would know him as well as she did. “I thought you said you hadn’t dated.”

“Mm, no. You asked about Shay. Not about anyone else.”

She hummed and messed with the hem of the oversized shirt she was wearing. She began to wonder if there would ever be a day when she and Hunk would be more than this. Best friends that got drunk together. It wasn’t horrible, but… Pidge really wanted more.

She wanted those things she’d seen in movies. The dates, the flowers, the period mixtape- she saw that movie once, and that one gift stuck with her since- the handholding, the gentle kisses, the dancing in the living room in the middle of the night. Her roommate told her to stop listening to Taylor Swift each time another boy proved to be an absolute idiot, but Pidge couldn’t help it. The music was catchy.

More specifically, she found herself wanting those things with Hunk. Because there was no one else she felt this comfortable around. No one else she felt she could be her absolute self with. Who better to understand the nightmares, the memories, to listen to her go on and on about engineering and technology and inventions, to see her as more than a girl and her body parts?

“You okay?” She blinked and refocused.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. Sorry, this headache is driving me nuts. Plus I think I just remembered I threw up last night.” She grimaced as she tried to piece together fragments of memory. There had definitely been a bathroom involved.

Hunk’s eyebrows went up and for some reason, his cheeks reddened. “Okay, I actually remember that now. You actually laughed it off.” Pidge grimaced and hid her face in her hands. “Here, this’ll make you feel better,” he said. He gave her a rectangle with Spam and rice wrapped in seaweed. “Masubi. Quick and easy to make. Excellent for hangovers.”

“Thank you, you are a saint.” She bit into it and before she knew it, the food was gone. It was small, but still even Hunk was smirking at her. “I was hungry,” she muttered.

Hunk was happy to continue supplying masubi for them both as they regained their strength.

“So what are you doing today?”

“Nothing, I don’t think. Matt’s working, so I’ll probably just relax at home.”

“You know, we still have that movie to go watch. I don’t know if it’s still in theaters, but… we could check?” Pidge raised an eyebrow and allowed herself a smile. “You up for it?”

“Definitely.”

–

What the hell was a date? Pidge looked it up in the car. The word was defined as a social or romantic appointment or engagement. So… it was a date. But what kind of date? Romantic or social? And why was not knowing making Pidge sweat more than usual?

She just really wished she could tell what Hunk thought of her. Sure, they’d only met back up recently, but… well they were best friends. Did Hunk still see her as the fifteen-year old who’d passed as a boy? Or did he see her as a little sister? Was she too much like one of the guys? He’d called her beautiful, hadn’t he? Or was it pretty? They were different. They had different connotations, so it mattered. God, and she’d woken up in his bed that morning.

“What’s chewing at you over there?”

Pidge took a sharp breath and chuckled. “Nothing. Sorry.” Hunk looked over at her and frowned.

He didn’t say much aside from that as they drove and Pidge tried not to berate herself for being so awkward. Of course it wasn’t a fucking romantic date. She was wearing the same jeans from the day before and one of Hunk’s button ups with most of it tucked into her waist. She was still gulping down water to replenish that which she’d lost the night before. And now she was just making it weird.

Things felt somewhat okay once they were in the theater, hands shoving the other’s out of the way for better access to popcorn as they tried not to giggle too loudly, each with an Icee and a shared box of Whopper chocolates. The movie they’d gone to see wasn’t in theaters anymore, so they’d decided to watch the newest Star Wars. Even though she’d never seen any of the other Star Wars movies, Pidge didn’t have a problem staying up this time.

When the movie ended, they talked about the realities of space wars versus that which Hollywood had created. That was most of the ride until Hunk had taken her to get food at Chick-Fil-A. They ate in the parking lot inside the car with the radio on, talking about what they looked forward to that year.

“It’s funny. Last year, I think I just binged a Netflix show New Year’s day,” Hunk said. “I never expected that I’d be spending the day with you just a year later.”

She smiled and shrugged. “Who knows, maybe by next year, we’ll manage to find the others. We could all go to New York. I’ve been wanting to see the Rockefeller tree.” She licked her thumb and forefinger clean before reaching for her lemonade. “I have another break for Easter, but I don’t know if I can afford to come out here again. You and Matt should road trip to see me. Just a suggestion.”

“Suggestion, right.” He smiled and Pidge stuck her tongue out at him. “That’d be fun. Then it’s your turn to be a tour guide.”

She snorted and shook her head. “I barely leave my campus, what makes you think I don’t need a tour guide?”

“Oh my God, Pidge.” She shrugged again and finished her last piece of chicken.

“You know what would go great with the rest of these fries?”

Hunk met her eyes and smiled. “Oh, hell yeah. Let’s do it.” He drove back into the drive thru and ordered an ice cream cone for them both, along with freshly made, large fries. They parked in their same spot and sang along to the radio as they ate their ice cream and watched a light fall of snow outside.

“How much longer are you staying?” Hunk asked.

“I have to be back by the 14th.”

“So we’ve got two weeks to make up for about five lost years.”

“Sounds impossible.” Hunk looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “I accept the challenge.” He broke into a smile and it made the hurricane of butterflies come back full force.

–

Pidge got back to Matt’s place with enough time to plop onto her bed and mull over the day’s events for about fifteen minutes before she heard the door open and close again.

“Wakey wakey, Pidge!” he called. “You home?”

“He’s had sex,” was the first thing Pidge could think to respond as she stared at her ceiling helplessly.

Matt appeared at her doorway with a confused, slightly disturbed expression. “Okay, it’s gonna be one of those talks. Come on, sis, I’ll make some hot chocolate. With marshmallows, because what are we? Animals?” She managed to scoff out a laugh. Then she let herself slip off the bed and grabbed an extra blanket as she followed Matt to the kitchen. Sure, it was a weird conversation to have, but they were both adults, and… he was all she had. Besides, it wasn’t the first time she’d talked to him about uncomfortable things.

She was the one he went to whenever her heart got broken or her sort-of friends made a passing comment that upset her just because she wasn’t like them. She didn’t have prom, she didn’t get high with friends, she didn’t have her first kiss during a game of spin the bottle. She had training and wars and a family to find. Matt was always there.

“Is that his shirt?”

“Yeah. I didn’t wanna wear the same one from yesterday.”

He nodded. “So what’s going on?” he asked as he stirred the milk.

She burrowed herself with the blanket and rested her head on the table. “We were talking and he mentioned that he’s had sex and I don’t know why but it bothers me. Everything got awkward. And I can’t tell if we went on a date or not.”

Matt sighed and stirred in the chocolate. “Katie, you’re gonna have to explain this from the beginning because I need to know the context behind this.”

She groaned and looked at him as he grabbed two mugs and continued to stir. “Um, okay. So obviously we drank.” Matt nodded. “And we can’t remember much, but when we woke up….” She trailed off uncertain how to continue. It was just so weird to talk to Matt about this because he knew them both. This wasn’t a faceless stranger Pidge was mentioning. It was Hunk.

He served the chocolate and sat down beside her. “Did you sleep together?” he asked gently. Enough to show he wasn’t teasing, and that he wouldn’t hold it against her either.

“No. No we didn’t, I know that for sure. But I guess he thought maybe we had so he was freaking out. I know we hadn’t because… well I didn’t feel different. Don’t people usually feel it when something happens?”

“I think that depends on a few factors….” It was Matt’s turn to blush. “Okay. So I take it you haven’t done anything with anyone?” She shook her head and hid her face with her drink. “I’d expect you would know the morning after. Especially if it was a drunk thing, not… planned. There’s a lot of… foreplay-”

“Please stop talking.”

“Oh thank God. I’m up for us being open with each other, but I didn’t want to give you The Talk.” Pidge grimaced and waved her hand for him to continue. “Anyway, yeah, in your case, I’d expect you’d have known if anything happened.” He snorted. “Unless he’s just that small.”

“Oh my God.”

“I’m joking! Anyway, then what happened?”

“I just assured him nothing happened, he asked if I’ve ever… you know. And I said no. Then I asked him.”

“And he said yes.”

“He explained.”

“Oh no.”

Pidge nodded and ran a hand through her hair. “He said he was in a bad place the first time. The girl was manipulative or something and he was just really hung up on her. I don’t know how many times or anything. But he said the second was with a stranger and he didn’t really want to, but he went with it and felt bad for a long time.” She sighed. “It bothered me. Knowing that some shitty girls know him that way. They didn’t deserve him.”

“That’s jealousy. Also, maybe the fact that he’s done it at all bothers you because you haven’t. Face it, Pidge. You’re a romantic.” She frowned and stared at Matt in confusion. “You wanted to be his first. First off, those experiences really don’t sound fun or healthy at all. I’m pretty sure those….” His face got solemn. “If he was coerced into those it’s basically abuse.” Pidge’s heart clenched and suddenly her own feeble jealousy didn’t even matter. Matt was right. It was no wonder Hunk seemed so jumpy. “And second, you can’t let the fact that he’s done that already, coerced or not, affect whatever relationship happens or doesn’t happen between you two. You weren’t even around him for those times. For all he knew, you would never come back into his life. People put a lot of pressure on sex meaning something huge, but it doesn’t have to and it doesn’t always mean anything. Don’t be put off by it. And don’t feel like you have to catch up either.”

“I don’t. I guess I just… felt bothered by the fact that he’s done it. But you’re right, it’s not like I was even around. It’s not like he likes me back either. Do you… really think he was forced into it?”

“Pressured mentally or emotionally. Especially if it had the toll he said it did. Hunk’s a good guy, Pidge. And you know that.” She nodded. “I know he’s not the type to sleep around for shits and giggles. He’s not the type to sleep with just anyone. Not that there’s a problem with that, I’m just saying….” She nodded and he nudged her. “So you mentioned a maybe date?”

She bit her lip and told him about the movie and the food and the ice cream in his car. “Like I said, it was a little awkward at first, and really tense. Then it went back to normal. It sounds like a date, but what if it was just a friend thing, you know? Friends go to movies and to eat.” She dipped her finger into her mug to swipe off some leftover chocolate at the bottom.

Matt stretched and nodded. “Yeah. Okay, personally, I think he likes you. And it does sound like a date. I think maybe you both wanted it to be and you’re both freaked out to say it aloud. I don’t know if it’s because you’re scared the other won’t feel the same or if you just don’t want to mess up your friendship after finding each other, but yeah. My philosophy however, is that it’s not a date if it’s not clarified with the other. Saves you from lots of embarrassment.” She huffed and brought her knees up on the chair. “You could always ask him you know?”

“I don’t have much to go off of. I can’t pick up any signs that he likes me.”

Matt snorted and counted off on his fingers. “Okay, let’s see, he’s gotten drunk with you like twice and fed you after it. Didn’t try to feel you up which gives him major points in my book- just saying. He made you an entire Christmas dinner and decorated the place. He’d planned the whole thing out with me. He lets you fall asleep on him in movies, on the couch, apparently at his place too!” Pidge blushed and placed her hands on her cheeks. “He stops by every day after work and stays until nearly three in the morning! Yeah, I can hear you two laughing. And you don’t notice how he looks at you when he first sees you because you’re busy fidgeting and trying to hide your blush.”

“Shut up!” She hid her face completely then peeked through her fingers. “What do you mean?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Oh boy.” He stood and took the mugs to the sink without responding. “You know, I do realize you’re an adult now, Katie. I figured you get drunk and go on dates and do what most people your age do. You don’t have to feel bad if you talk to me about it or try to hide it. Yeah, it’s a little weird to talk about sex with your big brother, believe me I get it. It’s a little unsettling talking about it with my little sister. But we’re all we’ve got. And I’m not going to hold anything against you, ever. I’m here for you no matter what. Okay?” Pidge nodded and stood up with her blanket draped over her. She waddled over to him and wrapped her arms around him. “I love you, Pidge.”

“Love you too, Matt. Thank you.” She stayed there for a moment, hugging her brother, feeling incredibly grateful for him. She didn’t know what she would’ve done if she hadn’t found him. She can never forget that terrible sinking feeling, the hopelessness and pain that she felt when she thought she was too late. When she thought she’d lost him forever. She hugged him a little tighter to remind herself he was real; he was okay. “I’m going to bed. Thank for talking with me.” She gave him a fist bump as she pulled away.

“Night, Pidge.”

–

Pidge decided to stop by the bakery that Wednesday. Hunk had been so exhausted after work on Tuesday, that Pidge told him to go home instead of stopping by the apartment again. The bakery had many cakes to get done by the end of the week.

She could smell the comforting scent of chocolate and vanilla and merengue frosting. She saw many customers looking at the simpler cakes for last minutes orders, people looking in as tourists in total awe by the intricate cakes. She went up to the register and smiled at the guy taking orders.

“Hey, is Hunk back there?”

“Sorry miss, the head chef can’t come out today. Though I can answer any question you might have.”

She shook her head and smiled. “Thanks, but it’s… um, is he getting a lunch hour?”

“That depends on how ahead of schedule he gets…. Um, I can let him know you’re here, but I can’t promise he’ll be able to come out.”

“It’s fine, I can wait for his lunch hour. Or just come back before closing.” She ran a hand through her hair and cleared her throat. “Thanks.”

She left the bakery quickly. What was she thinking? He was working. He was insanely busy.

But ever since Matt pointed out the emotional toil Hunk’s experiences had left him with, she’d been wanting to talk to him. To clarify. To tell him he wasn’t alone. To tell him she’d experienced the similar things when boys tried to touch her during cuddles or tried to get her drunk to “loosen her up.”

She knew they were both strong people. They’d piloted lions, fought in wars, had gone through hell and made it out alive. Still, somehow humans managed to fuck them over more than any Galra could. They weren’t supposed to keep fighting on Earth. But now it wasn’t evil alien emperors trying to hurt them… it was humans. And that made things so much harder because while they could tell a Galra was evil, you couldn’t always tell a person was. And the body either freezes, fights, or flees.

Pidge had worked hard to not berate herself for freezing. She couldn’t think of anything else to do. The shock of some stupid boy managing to get past her defenses better than a fucking Galra had shocked her into stillness and silence. And then she fought. And then she fled.

She wanted to tell Hunk it wasn’t his fault. She wanted to tell him that she understood. That just because they’d been in war didn’t make them invincible. She just…. She wanted to be there for him now that she was there.

Still, she’d stuffed that experience to the very back of her mind and digging it back up now made her feel anxious. She’d been in therapy for PTSD in regards to the war thanks to the Garrison. Thankfully she had still been in therapy when that happened, so she was able to work through it with both Matt and the therapist’s help. Did Hunk have any of that? Was he even aware of the truth behind those experiences, or did he shrug it off because he was a guy? Even Pidge hadn’t realized it until Matt pointed it out.

Pidge walked around aimlessly trying to get her thoughts together.

She returned just before closing and managed to get Hunk’s attention. He brightened and let her in while he finished cleaning up a bit.

“I was just about to head over to your place. What’s up? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” she said with a smile. She looked around where the other chefs were finishing up their areas and waving goodbye. “I was actually wondering if we could talk?”

Hunk frowned and put his rag down. “Of course…. What is it?”

She looked at him and wondered if she was doing the right thing there. Was it right for her to bring up something he probably hadn’t mulled over? To shed light on something he probably wasn’t even aware of? Maybe not…. But it would be worse if she kept it to herself. If she didn’t dispel the misconception. She thought about his expression when he asked if he’d done anything. How he’d thought he fucked up again. But he never had. It had never been his fault. It was eating at him even if he didn’t know it, and Pidge couldn’t let that continue.

“Pidge?” Hunk looked worried now, nearing her.

“Um…. I just…. You seemed really tense at first when we went to go see the movie. I was wondering why. Did it… have anything to do with how we woke up?”

Hunk’s expression fell and he returned to cleaning. “Um…. I mean…. Sort of? It’s just, I couldn’t remember a lot, and you seemed uncomfortable too, so I thought… maybe I’d done something and you just didn’t want to tell me. And I freaked out because you’re my best friend, and if I hurt you-”

“You didn’t. You didn’t do anything to me. Hunk, you are a good person.” He smiled at her and nodded as he rinsed out his rag. “Is this… about the other girls?”

Hunk turned to her and frowned again. “The ones I mentioned? No, not really…. I just… I fucked up then. I did that out of loneliness and stupidity. I promised myself if I ever did anything with anyone it would mean something. And I wouldn’t feel like crap because of it.”

This was her in. This was when she could explain. “Those weren’t your fault, Hunk,” she whispered. “Those girls…. They forced you to do those things by exploiting your loneliness. You said it yourself, you… you got manipulated and-”

“Hey,” Hunk said, taking her hand. “Calm down. You’re shaking.”

“It happened to me too.”

There was a long pause before Hunk managed to ask, “What?”

Pidge let herself plop onto the floor and just like that it came tumbling out. Her frustration, her struggle, her experience. She’d started to cry but whether it was because of the memories or the frustration, she wasn’t sure. “It wasn’t you, Hunk. You know that, don’t you? It doesn’t make you weak or- or-”

“Pidge, come here.” Hunk pulled her against him and took her hands. “I know. I know, I do. I did talk to someone. They told me the same. But it’s not necessarily fun to bring it into a conversation, is it?” He squeezed her hands and smiled. “Thank you for talking to me about it, though. It means a lot. And I’m glad you felt you could trust me with yours. Hey.” He touched her chin gently, and she looked up at him. “I don’t think you’re weak either. You’re the strongest girl I know.” She smiled weakly. “We’re survivors in so many ways, aren’t we?”

She chuckled and nodded. “When do we get a break?”

“Honestly? I feel like I catch a break whenever I’m with you.” She met his eyes and felt a blush fill her cheeks. “You’re my best friend, Pidge.” She nodded, trying not to let the disappointment show. He sees her as only a friend. That was fine. “Here, I should get you home. It’s almost one in the morning.”

The ride back felt oddly light. She felt like she’d lifted a weight she hadn’t even known she was carrying. And Hunk seemed much bubblier than he had since New Year’s. His smile was wider. And Pidge found herself laughing harder at everything. There were many types of battles in life. Some literal and some not so much. Pidge had considered herself a survivor. But that night, in the car with Hunk as they kept laughing and talking past two in the morning in the parking lot of Matt’s apartment complex, was the first time she’d actually felt the strength of a survivor.

Click Here for Ch. 4

[italicwatches]

GAMERS! Episode 03

Okay, sliding back towards center. It’s GAMERS!, episode 03! Here we GO!

-Opening! And what comes with an opening? Why, game references out the complicated love shape, of course! Number two on our list, a wild looking side scrolling shooter, can only be one thing… Gradius? No, Parodius! Konami’s long-running shmup series, it is a literal parody of their main shooters and other such franchises, notably Gradius and to some degree its chief competition in the market, R-Type. Gradius, and thus Parodius, are known well for the power-up bar system, where each power-up item you get moves the selector one section up the bar. You can get things like speed-ups and options and powerful weaponry, but be careful, because one wrong move and you might lose it all…And one bad combination, or one too many Speed Ups, could spell your doom! Also they haven’t made a new one that’s an actual game and not pachislot since, uhhhh…1997! Congratulations, Parodius, your newest actual game is old enough to drink the pain away. Konami: Ruining childhood dreams they themselves built, since 1969.

-DAY 03: Hoshinomori Chiaki and StreetPass Communication

-We begin in the morning, with a young lady having to keep her short skirt from showing her panties to us the viewer. Gotta be careful, lass. Then it’s to Keita, switching to his inside shoes, when Tasuku comes up…And he’s not super happy. The hell was that free-to-play game, man?! It sucks and just wants his money! And how the hell does a horror game turn into a fishing game exactly? And the ending was shit! Tasuku even slams his hand into the wall next to Keita’s head…

-They’re parodies, Tasuku, parodies! That’s the joke! Also all the girls are seeing stylish tough guy Tasuku having scrawny small nerd boy Keita pinned to the wall and are starting to ogle. And the farce continues to build.

-Once they’re in class, Keita admits that yeah, the games that guy makes are kind of…a mess, looked at straightforwardly. They’re fun because the bad parodies are funny, like mocking a crappy movie, you know? It’s like a matter of the heart! A single virgin does not get to compare things to matters of the heart with a guy who’s actively dating. …Harsh, Tasuku. Very harsh. And have you even done anything with her?!

-Um er well you see THAT’S NOT THE POINT how are things with you and Karen? Because she wants you bad. He’s…Not really had the chance to get into any real contact with her…Are you dumb or just stupid, Keita? Reach out you damned fool. Don’t just keep passing her by…

-Passing her by…You mean like StreetPass on his 3DS? Is this a comedy routine or are you just that dense?! And then Keita’s got another assistance request from Mono-san. Hold that thought he’s gotta bail out his comrade. Fine. Fine, but think about what he said.

-And so back to MMOs, as Tasuku notices that Keita’s username is “Tsucchie”, which has no connection to anything but sounds like a real-person nickname, not a username…Yeah, it’s actually from his mother’s maiden name, Tsuchiyama. He doesn’t like using anything connected to his real name, but didn’t want something too chuuni, so he just took that and simplified it down to Tsucchie, or Yama-san when they want something less cutesy. So who’s Mono there?

-Longtime MMO friend. They’ve been guild bros since practically his first day in the game! Uh huh. Well, Tasuku’s gonna have to work on this if he wants to get to watch a farce…You’ve got a lot of work to do if you’re gonna get anywhere with Karen. You’re right, he does suck. …Okay quit that. You just need to get out of this loner mode of thinking. YOU ARE SO KIND TASUKU!

-So, first way to start is by learning how to be more comfortable around young ladies…And their best in for that is gonna be what you’re passionate about! Which means they need a girl who’s into RPGs and weird parody games and shit…

-But, BAM! Right after school, Tasuku takes Keita over to another class…And bam, Hoshinomori Chiaki. Another loner who needs a friend. Keita protests, not liking the idea of sorta hitting on this girl. Too bad, Tasuku decided already. Now GET YO ASS IN THERE.

-And that’s when Aguri finds them and Tasuku you were going to spend time with her today, not your uke! Right. So he’s got to go, and you’d better make it happen, Keita! Fare thee well~

-Which is about when Keita realizes he’s been standing in the doorway long enough that people are noticing. And then his stomach lets out an unpleasant rumble. Oh dear.

-And then we’re where we left off with yesterday’s after credits scene. With Karen having a giddy haze, and then Eiichi from the club spotting Keita and hey, what’s up? Did you need Karen? Karen’s head pops up because KEITA WHAT WHERE, but Keita awkwardly claims he’s got no business with her and Karen just turns to stone. Oh, that is painful. This whole scene is gonna be rocky, isn’t it? (OH GOD THE PUNS ARE COMING OUUUUUT)

-So she crumbles to dust, and is blown away by a mournful wind, as Keita admits he’s here to talk to that girl over there…Oh, and he steps in the dust that once was Karen, for a scene that makes absolutely zero literal sense but tons of metaphorical logic, as he makes it over to Chiaki’s desk, and she…Has no idea he’s there. She’s too busy playing her PZ Vivio with her headphones in.

-Karen, recovering from her brief time as a symbol of the folly of man and the decaying powers of time immemorial, tries to get Keita’s attention…And hears it right from him that he’s here to see a girl. Ouch. B-But knowing you, it’s something managerial, some class business or something, surely! Right? TELL HER SHE’S RIGHT KEITA SHE NEEDS THIS.

-Nope he’s here to…Fuck it, all in. To work up the courage to come here and make friends with this girl as a fellow RPG lover!

-Guys I think Karen just died.

-And then Keita catches her when she collapses and EVERYONE GOES WILD, as Karen tries to get out a word, any word, and finally calls him a sleaze ball before fleeing at top speed!

-And Chiaki finally looks up and realizes things have happened and oh god there’s a strange boy looking at her what to do what to do?! She shrinks away as small as she can, in raw unyielding fear of the unknown…And that’s when he sees that she’s playing Aegis VIII. Aegis Vee plus Aegis Three equals…Aegis Eight! Aegis In Space! (Did I stretch for that Simpsons reference? Yes! Do I care? No.)

-But she realizes that he knows the game and that short-circuits the fear of Boys into just plain old confusion…Which soon leads to them at the bus stop. At far, opposite ends of the bench, as he finally introduces himself properly. And she’s…Oh she’s a nervous wreck and this conversation is totally dead, but she can only assume that he’s in the game club and is here to recruit her like Karen and Eiichi!

-Wait wait wait, he’s not in the game club! You’re not? He’s not. Oh. She, she went to watch one day when Karen invited her, but…

-But it wasn’t what you wanted at all? It was the same for him! They’re cool, but way too intense, right? Yes! She doesn’t want to be the best at anything, she just wants to have fun! YES! And Chiaki’s face finally comes out of shadow, as the two clasp hands, realizing they have finally found kindred spirits…!

-Over the next few days, the two became close friends, exchanging numbers and hanging out. They even got on a first-name basis, which isn’t nothing. They were even secretly texting in class…All as Karen watched, turning more and more into a horrifying little goblin of misery and woe…

-But then, THEN! They had a moment, of shared gushing over the Aegis series. And the best part of that series is, same time now…

-The music!

-The characters!

-A rift has opened between them. As they both suddenly feel so deeply, deeply betrayed.

-Commercial break!

-And we’re back! It’s after class and Tasuku is hearing how Keita got into a huge argument with Chiaki. Over games. Over philosophies! Shut the hell up with that overwrought bullshit. And he admits that she was far more of an actual friend than him…Oh don’t give him that. What happened?

-She…She said games don’t need appealing moe characters to be good! Are you stupid or just an idiot, Keita? He doesn’t care if she’s a cute girl who kind of looks like the Curse Freak from the much-beloved Satchél Creatures series, he will never compromise on this! So idiot, then. But fine, fine, take a few deep breaths and you two can talk it over calmly later. Okay? Don’t let a good friendship go because of this one little—

-Hard cut to the argument staring anew! Keita think of how the industry has already taken moe too far! There’s lolicon and imoutos in what were once mainstream games now! The foreign game industries are running laps around them with cinematic stories and tightly polished gameplay! The force of moe is stifling Japanese game development, you narrow-minded shrimp!

-Hold on there! Haven’t you ever played a foreign game and wished it had cute girls, instead of roid-chomping muscle men working for the military?! You…You seaweed head!

-WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL HER YOU MOTHERFU—

-Tasuku cuts in, argument stops now or he starts cracking skulls. How is it that Tasuku now feels like the only sane man? I assume we are only two, maybe three episodes tops from Gakuto being the only person with a rational thought in his FPS-addled brain. The only question in my mind is whether it’ll be because of actual logic, or because things have devolved so far that “teabag them all and let God sort it out” becomes a sensible approach to the situation.

-Anyways Tasuku wants these two idiots to just chill the fuck out and get along, they clearly care about each other…And Chiaki gets all blushy about the idea and Keita thinks she’s getting a crush on Tasuku like all the other girls. So you’ll fawn over a stylish, handsome guy like Tasuku here, but won’t accept moe?! What kind of hypocrite are you?!

-Hey. HEY. Tasuku cuts that all down. Everyone cool your fuckin’ jets. And don’t go making shit personal. …Even if Keita really is a shrimp.

-But soon he’s making them both sit down and, hey, Chiaki, weren’t you talking about where you were in the new Aegis game? …She was in the elven hideout…

-That’s where Keita just got to this morning! It’s one of the best maps yet! The look, the layout, the way they show off the elvish hatred for humanity! Yeah, yeah! Chiaki gets all hype again as her anger fizzles in the wake of getting to talk about her new favorite game with someone who gets it…

-But the best part for Keita and the worst part for Chiaki is the downright lewd pose of the elf girl in the center! Everyone else in the room promptly takes their chance to run like hell, as the argument starts right back up…! But Tasuku is on the ball this time, and cuts it right off, and can’t you both just fucking let this shit go?!

-You don’t get it! Actual quote: “We’re lonely gamers with nothing but our inflated egos.” Okay first of all Keita I fucking saw you just subtweet me right there, and second

-Of course, both of them consider this compromise simply UNACCEPTABLE…But for Tasuku, the worst part is that Aguri is on the other side of the locked door, giving him the horrifying-little-goblin face. Damn, she’s got an intense aura. Okay, time to call it short. You two have good hearts, don’t let one disagreement wreck a good thing. And Chiaki, don’t let Keita’s shit get to you. You’re cute in your own way. The messy-hair thing works for you. And now Chiaki doesn’t know what to do and Aguri is about to shatter this door with her sheet wrath and fury.

-So, okay, they’re all gamer buddies now, right? They should enjoy it. And Keita realizes how much this looks like a romance between these two, as Tasuku idly comments that if Chiaki does want a change, maybe she could try the short-haired look? She’s got the face for it, and she’d look cute as hell with it! Oh god that damned idiot…Because over at the door, Aguri has collapsed much like Karen earlier.

-Speaking of Karen, she and Eiichi are over at the window, watching this whole proceeding…And she needs to know what kind of relationship those two have! Eiichi has no idea but they seem to get along really well. OH GOD THEY GET ALONG REALLY WELL?! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN! He has no idea please quit shaking him.

-Cut to Tasuku and Aguri walking home, and Tasuku notices how quiet Aguri is…And has to try and figure out how to explain what she saw. He was mediating a fight between two friends, is all. And Aguri gets all down, because she feels she’s being lied to, and the only thing she doesn’t know is if her boyfriend is leaving her for a weird nerdy girl, or a weird nerdy guy. Oh dear…

-Cut over to Keita writing up a post on that least parody game. Which was fun, but maybe played it a bit too safe…Still, he posts a positive comment. One that gets noticed by the creator and gets a thanks sent his way! But something seems off for him…

-The next day after class, Tasuku’s more stylish friends are wanting to figure out this rumor of this really cute girl that just showed up in school out of nowhere, and Tasuku’s trying to figure out who the hell it could be…He didn’t hear about any transfers, so did someone pull off a weekend makeover…? Keita comes up and hey, want to go hang out? He would, but he’s waiting for Aguri. …Is something up, Keita?

-He’s…Worried about Tasuku and Aguri. What? Why? Tasuku doesn’t even think Keita knows Aguri…But before that subject can go any further, up come footsteps, and a very nervous Chiaki who has gotten a redo into being the bluenette from the OP and ED! And Tasuku stares, as a crowd starts forming, and Keita is the one who realizes it. That specific way it curls, like dried seaweed. WHAT DID YOU SAY YOU MOTHERFUCKER

-And Tasuku realizes oh shit it’s Chiaki. And she suddenly looks…Really cute. And oh jeez. He just got himself into a mess, didn’t he. If Aguri finds out what he said led to this…

-Of course Aguri hears it and has a freakout so bad she turns into a sketch. And Keita quietly realizes he’s in hell…But also he sees Aguri stagger off and oh jeez, as he steps away to go make sure she’s okay. And Tasuku realizes several seconds later, as Keita is off looking for Aguri who managed to pull a runner…When he runs into Karen! Karen great timing! OH GOD KEITA um er that is hi. S-She’s sorry for her misunderstanding about the other day and, um…

-Huh? Never mind that, time is of the essence. Have you seen Aguri?

-Do you just like making her suffer? Are you into S&M, is that it? Should she get one of those masks with the zippers?

-But, she saw a ditzy, cute pink-haired girl looking deeply depressed and heading for the entrance and wait tell her, exactly, why you’re looking for this girl! Relationship drama thanks bye! And Karen collapses in Keita’s absence…

-When Keita catches up to Aguri at her locker and oh, it’s the weird guy who wants to fuck Tasuku. Wait WHAT that’s not…Okay. Okay never mind. Listen. …Do you want to go have tea?! And Aguri is very, very confused, even as they end up at a little cafe, and Keita wonders when the hell this became his life, hitting on every girl around him… (YOU DAMNED FOOL CAN’T YOU SEE WHAT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU)

-Of course, it’s VERY awkward at this cafe, as Aguri is down in the dumps and just making bubbles in her drink. And Keita tries to talk to her about what she saw and what happened. But her Tasuku said that bluenette was super cute! If he’s even her Tasuku anymore…Yeah, but that wasn’t…It’s not…He’s not into her like that. Besides, he was just talking about you and how cute you are. He definitely has strong feelings for you! just give him a chance to explain and clear the air, and Keita promises you, it’ll work out…

-And Aguri starts to perk up, as she decides to go get a fresh drink, feeling all warm and bubbly again…And Keita just relaxes at last, as he pops out his phone and sees an MMO event. Well, maybe he’ll jump into some battles, invite Mono-san, and just be able to clear his head, let everything go back to normal…When he hears the sound of a tray hitting the ground.

-And finds Aguri just standing there, locked up. Because across the street, Tasuku and Chiaki are all cuddled up WHAT THE FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU

-Credits!

UUUUUUUUUUUU

[howlingmoonrise]

Dear Yuletide Author

Hi! Thanks for signing up for Yuletide despite the hell year it’s been, I hope you have fun with your assignment!

I ramble a lot so everything is below the cut. Obviously you don’t have to follow any of this (though I hope you’ll respect my squicks) but hopefully this will help you out!

general things i like

so much pining. all the pining. pining everywhere plz.

continuing from above, PINING. i mean it. i prefer a thousand times over idiots in love who are having a hard time wrapping their minds around it than an already established relationship.

either gen or romantic is fine! what really does it for me is the development of the relationship, platonic or otherwise. it’s all about the growing intimacy and understanding and character dynamics and interactions and developing trust and finding kinship and growing respect for the other and subconsciously learning to lean on the other over anyone else and--

i love love love enemies-to-reluctant-allies-(to-maybe-friends?)-to-lovers and bickering pairs in general! it’s so much fun and it gives us so many opportunities for character and relationship developments okay i’m a slut for that shit

sticking to the original characterizations and the tone of canon is a definite plus!!!

“missing scenes” and “what if” canon-divergent situations are excellent, as are continuations from where canon left us depending on the fandom! more details on the sections for the respective fandoms i GUESS

casual intimacy is super fun, especially when adapted to the character dynamics. a bickering pair being casually comfortable adds a whole new depth to it, enemy dynamics makes is hilarious since the other half would have zero clue as to how to react, a pair that is already comfortable with each other that they do stuff without communicating is so intimate, mix and match however you like!

fun tropes i enjoy (a bit romance-leaning but if you’re not into that then some of these can probably be adapted): fake dating, accidentally got roped into x and shenanigans of all sorts keep happening, misunderstood confessions, groundhog day au, one or both the characters having stupid levels of denial while technically in a relationship and just not realizing it like What Do You Mean We’re Dating??, that sorta thing.

TROPE SUBVERSION ALL THE WAY!

--

general things i dislike

kidfics. babyfics. next gen fics. pregnancy fics, or even pregnancy discussed in the fic is a major squick of mine. the one exception i make for kidfics is for kids already existent in canon and even then it depends, but no babies or children otherwise please.

future fics/time skips in general, actually. what i enjoy is the relationship development, so huge time skips make me feel like we missed way too much

angst is... mrrmf. it really depends on how it’s done, but usually it feels like it’s angst for the sake of angst instead of giving the fic some actual meat.  as a result of this, i’d pass at least on most content with major character death, sexual abuse, self-harm, gender/sexuality angst, the like. beyond that, feel free to go ahead!

hard AUs are a bit ugh to me. by this i mean AUs that rely heavily on setting, such as high school AUs, harry potter AUs, that sort of thing. i DO however enjoy stuff like soulmate AUs and alternate canon AUs, depending on the concept and on the fandom. more details in their own sections if you enjoy writing those!

i heavily dislike things involving cheating/infidelity, sickfics, and genderbending of any kind is a bit ehhhh for me, as are concepts such as ABO. hard pass on stuff like dysphoria and deep diving into mental illnesses and disorders, too.

script-based or roleplay fic is not really my preferred format, i really enjoy prose instead of nearly all dialogue!

stuff with bigotry in general, racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc as well as discussions of it is a pass in general. it’s not a HUGE squick but i’d rather not see it if possible

discussions and thoughts on gender/sexuality. if you’re gonna make them gay/bi/etc, make them gay/bi/etc, no exploration of it added. delving into the psyche of it is a hard pass.

--

if you’re going for nsfw

kinks

moderate sadomasochism, uncommon forms of bondage (plants, stuck with strange substance or in awkward position, the shadows from p&tf as restraints, etc), choking/breathplay, xenophilia and tentacles/alien genitals (shadowplay in p&tf for example), moderate degradation, edging/desperation play, ladies topping and calling the shots, bloodplay/knifeplay, long hair dragging over skin, sharp nails/claws (charlotte la bouff, morticia), lowkey cannibalism imagery and hunger, biting, ladies stepping on body parts with their heels on

squicks

scat, vomit, praise kink, daddy/mommy or baby kink, vore, forced feminization, pet play, wound-fucking, abuse, abo, anything involving pregnancy at all

--

PRINCESS AND THE FROG

i am 100% aware this is a weird-ass pairing but gods, the possibilities. it has so much potential. there are few things i like quite as much as a villain and a good person developing a strange sort of kinship with each other >u> this doesn’t have to mean a romantic development, if it’s not your thing! as i said, for me it’s the building understanding and reluctant respect that i really love, far more than the actual romance.

ideas, ideas, ideas. i’m aware this is a rare relationship to either portray or ask for, so i’m gonna try to give some more concrete-ish ones for you to build up on if you have no clue as to how to approach this. 

we could have canonverse with charlotte dealing with the shadowman in some other, unrelated matter while the main plot is occurring, making him feel somewhat guilty about the whole marriage plot with laurence-turned-naveen. cue introspection, or even an entirely different outcome.

or a post-canon sort of hades&persephone plot (please no actual hades and persephone au though), with charlotte curious despite herself and tempted to listen to a shadow/dead/whatever!dr facilier when she’s the only one that can hear him.

in a continuation from above, OR her being dragged Beneath with him in a freak accident and then charming him into helping her back to the surface/living world (very, veeeeery reluctantly on his part, at least at the start, he might have even be thinking of tricking her but then change his mind when the time comes to do it).

i think dr facilier wouldn’t be sure how to deal with charlotte’s particular brand of personality and good humour, and it’d throw him off his rhythm a lot - that sort of thing is always super fun to write.

soulmate au in canon would work pretty well, but with this pairing? you could even do a FULL AU, keeping only basic stuff like the shadowman thing to her normal bougie self; it’s one of her charms. (and their personalities, of course). stuff like charlotte thinking that she wants one thing (her prince-slash-one-true-love, etc) while keeping getting drawn to him time and time again could work on pretty much any era or setting. vice-versa for him, thinking he wants to be rid of her but coming to realize he’d actually miss her if she were to be gone. OR, charlotte deciding she wants this sullen manipulative bastard and manipulating HIM into taking her out and hanging out with her would be hilarious.

if you wanna do nsfw, i have only one major request: charlotte calling the shots/topping. i think this arrangement would be in character for both of them (dr facilier would prob also enjoy having someone else do all the work lol) considering her go-getter attitude, but keeping in mind his manipulative personality i’d be more comfortable if she had some control over what was happening. ASIDE FROM THAT, d’you know what would be fun? a little darkness, and by that i mean consider dr facilier’s shadow joining in on the fun. shadows would also be an interesting sort of constraint. also i know i said charlotte calling the shots, but she can be constrained by the shadows while being amused by it or being used to it (implying it’s not the first time that they’ve used it in bed play and that it’s therefore negotiated), or charlotte could team up with the shadow to do it to facilier instead. charlotte using her nails and facilier being a bit of a sub/masochist would be excellent!

(actually in general it’d be really fun if there was some complicity between charlotte and facilier’s shadow in general, nsfw or otherwise. the shadow being wrapped around her little finger is an excellent concept, especially if facilier isn’t too fond of her just yet OwO)

--

THE ADDAMS FAMILY

oh boy. let me just begin by saying that this really isn’t my usual kind of pairing, by sheer virtue of them being perfectly happy and established in canon. HOWEVER, they’re goth and they’re odd and they’re kinky and they’re delightful to watch interact (i’m familiar with the movie canon featuring anjelica and raúl and a few (few!) of the comics, so idk about other dynamics) and so they’ve managed to creep their way into my blackened little heart.

THAT BEING SAID, my absolute biggest wish for this fandom would be pre-relationship. i don’t mind if canon is twisted a bit for this, considering that they presumably met and proposed on the very same day, so it’s definitely a bit hard to work with. perhaps some shenanigans with the funeral itself? or gomez has a date/fiancée already and so there’s some juggling of priorities here while he’s absolutely falling over himself in order to continue looking at that gothic vision of a woman? or an old family feud, or them just being downright useless at knowing how to deal with proper romance (on morticia’s side, i’d imagine she’d only grow more stoic and be at a loss of what to say. on gomez’s side, it’s probably his first time being speechless, or he’s not speechless but he’s flirted so much in his life that he doesn’t know what to do with these actual literal feelings, what the hell is this and how does he show he actually means it this time??), or morticia has a long string of dead fiancés black widow-style (i think she and debbie would have gotten along great if given the chance okay), or a soulmate au where they don’t realize it’s each other right away, or morticia amusedly pretends to be dating gomez before they know each other to get him out of a bind, or they’re somehow roped into someone else’s shenanigans and don’t know how to react to each other (my money is on either ophelia or cousin itt putting them in a bind), the sky is the limit!

if you’re more comfortable writing established, however, casual intimacy or smut are the best! give me a moment of respite where they are just comfortable basking in each other’s presence, or when they’re separated for a moment at an event or something and the longing is burning all the way across them until they come back together again (y’know, in the good old way of the script). for smut, morticia being a mostly stoic dom maybe? (though yes, i know she’s very much into being tied up and tortured, i can’t really see her as a normal sub unless it’s really something languid and drawn-out - she doesn’t really read as someone who spends a lot of energy doing things others will do for her). they’re both definitely into pain and bondage too; morticia conflating arousal with hunger would also be really interesting to see (think praying mantis or lady spider who is actually very invested on not taking off her partner’s head, but who dreams of it all the same. gomez is, of course, very much into it). something lowkey macabre would be amazing.

things i’d like to see for this fandom in general are:

morticia being her stoic vampiric goddess of a self

gomez being completely twitterpatted for her as usual

burning sultry glares/staring across the room

overly passionate hand-kissing

creepy/gothic atmosphere

you know, like canon. (with non-existent or minimal kid existence, though)

references to horror stuff/general creepiness like sudden lightning, casual poisonings and dealings with death, dracula references, etc, like the movies would be super fun, as campy as possible! half the greatness of the movies come from these imho

--

MONSTROUS REGIMENT

i have a confession to make: it’s been a while since i last read it, and so i fear i won’t be as helpful in giving ideas/dynamics for this fandom as i was in the others. 

i have one request - apart from what i’ve already rambled on about above - and that is for at least polly to be portrayed as female (or close enough, although not quite non-binary). to make it clearer: i usually see them both as female, even if not female-presenting (it’s funny because as i was writing this i actually kept writing about maladict as “he” so frankly it’s whatever, i definitely prefer “maladict” to “maladicta” at least in terms of names though) but chaffing to fit the roles that “female” comes along with, especially with maladict and the expectations for female vampires. i’d rather the fic not have gender or sexuality exploration, since like i said above i think it detracts from the meat of the stuff - if you want to see maladict as male, write him male with male pronouns (keeping the female vampire backstory if you’re keeping it canon, otherwise it wouldn’t really make sense). if you want to make her female, write her female with female pronouns. i’d pass on they/them pronouns though. i don’t particularly care either way outside of polly however, just don’t delve into the psyche/introspection of it please.

if you have different views on their genders and it would make you uncomfortable to write female polly or non-they/them maladict, then that’s fine with me as well! these are just my preferences, and i thought i’d elaborate on them since the fandom has many perspectives on this topic. 

with that out of the way, on to more interesting stuff!

what’s good: their interactions. oh dear loki, their interactions. they have my favourite dynamic in the whole book, and they’re weirdly comfortable with each other (especially since polly lowkey threatens maladict after kicking the other dude in the nads, in my view that moment probably got his undead little heart skipping a beat (do vampires have beating hearts on discworld? i haven’t read enough discworld to remember this)) and they understand each other the best out of the rest of the squad. maladict teasing polly and pretending to be cool before polly catches on to him is absolutely hilarious, and i absolutely love maladict trying (and failing!! horribly!!) at being smooth. also polly blackmailing people left and right is absolutely fantastic.

as you can probably guess, i’d love some canon-verse interactions. perhaps alternate scenes or what-ifs of canon events, or even extra scenes during the ongoing plot of the book. OR, post-book, once they have their own squad of little lads and have to figure out how the hell to handle that, or shenanigans where they have some sort of mission or official event elsewhere and resolutely stick together because “if i have to deal with this then so do you”. or some hilarity with maladict desperately going after every coffee grain available so he doesn’t just bury his face on polly’s neck because she smells so good but that would be an awkward conversation to have and he’d rather die (again) than admit to that. 

what else? AUs! feel free to completely tear apart the canon discworld, though i’d request polly remain her ass-kicking clever self and maladict an awkward vampire. maybe maladict has to deal with diaphanous underwired nightgowns. maybe polly has to deal with diaphanous underwired nightgowns. vampire politics? satirical awkward dracula au? maladict failing horribly at being a vampire (failing at being a female vampire or trying to pass at being a male vampire and failing at that, too)? they’re all great! 

what matters to me is their banter and the way they keep falling into pace with each other, regardless of the way they begin. a good dose of sardonical pratchett-style humour would also be welcome ;)

--

thank you so much for staying with me this far! i hope you have a grand time this yuletide, and that you enjoy your own requested fic as well!

[greetingsfromthebottomofthewell]

ROOM ZERO

[directory]

it’s been so long.

[source] [triggers]

It's been a while since I've written anything related to the Disney Corporation, and I'm sure you can understand why.

A lot has been going on since my last post. I've received a lot of questions and concerns from folks who read my first-hand account of Mowgli's Palace... a resort that was built and abandoned by Disney.

I want to thank everyone who mirrored my post. It's been taken down from a few places, mostly corporate sites that were easily leaned on by a larger power. However, for every nuked topic or disappearing blog post, it seems like a hundred more have popped up.

This is something they'll have to face. There's no turning back for them... none for me, either...

I'm definitely being followed. For the first month or two, I chalked it up to paranoia. Any casual glance or half-smile in my direction set me off. Hairs standing on the back of the neck and everything.

The first one, or rather, the first one I was actually able to spot, was a telephone worker milling around my apartment complex.

He was middle-aged, doughy, dressed just as you'd expect, but something just seemed off about him. I couldn't place it, but I knew this wasn't just my imagination acting up. He was awkward and out of place, not somebody who was comfortable doing his routine job.

I followed him around a corner, only to lose him there. When I turned back to go home, there he was. Staring directly at me, about ten feet behind me. Expressionless and cold.

"Exploring?" he asked. That was all he said, and there was an accusing tone to his voice.

Tell me, what blue collar phone jockey does that?

I guess that's the worst part. Never feeling safe. Never feeling alone. That, and the occasional Disney merchandise left somewhere for me to find. Little rubber Mickeys in the mailbox, a Disney Adventures magazine on my bookshelf.

They hide little Mickeys everywhere. Three circles, one big, two small, in the silhouette of the famous mouse's head.

I've started keeping a running list of Mickeys I've found.

Coffee cup rings on my coffee table. One big, two small. Colored glass bottles left on the doorstep, viewed from the top down. (All red.) Graffiti on the wall on my way to work; a huge Earth, small Sun and Moon in the proper locations.

They're everywhere.

People have emailed me about this as well. If you repost anything I have to say, you're going to start finding those son of a bitch outlines. I guarantee it.

The best one by far, one that actually made me laugh because of the horror of it all, was a drawing in chalk next my car. I was taken aback at first, walking through the parking garage, keeping an eye out for people following me.

The outline seemed a perfect match for... well, a "murder victim" you're probably familiar with if you've read my past posts.

Written in yellow... paint, I'm sure... was a single word.

"RETRACT"

The only good thing that has come out of all this is that I know I'm not the only one who's seen something they shouldn't have.

I'm not going to give their names, because... well, if I have to tell you why, you haven't been paying attention.

"Researcher" goes to Disney parks whenever he can, all throughout the year. He's not going to have fun, enjoy the rides, etc.

He's looking for the Gascots.

There's been a long tradition, apparently, of people reporting strange patrons throughout the park. Silent, motionless, staring patrons of every age, shape, and size. Men and women, adults, children, and teens.

All wearing Disney-themed gas masks.

Way back when, Disney would get tons of complaints about "oddly dressed" folks following others around the park. Folks who would then merge into crowds and disappear.

Later on, the gas masks caused folks to draw other conclusions, and reports of "possible terrorists" and "bombers" started flowing.

All of those reports most likely went straight into the trash can. I know I can't find any sign of any such occasions reported on by the media. (Although you should be aware of the fact Disney can pretty much control its press like no other.)

Researcher goes to the parks, talks to a few people, and tries not to draw any attention to himself. He'll just ask three or four families if they've seen "his friend", who's wearing a "funny mask".

He has yet to see a gascot for himself... though on one occasion, a child pointed him toward Frontier town. As he raced through the crowd, he heard a single voice ahead cry out "Mommy! I want a Goofy air-mask too!"

A fellow I'll call "Lifeguard" worked in a Disney water park from 2001 through 2003. He stood at the top of a huge water slide and made sure none of the kids got too rowdy. He passed the kids through, one at a time, telling them over and over again to be safe, keep their arms in, and so on.

One day, as he tells it, this fat kid goes down the tube and doesn't come out the other end.

He's sent two or three kids after, the whole thing moves at a steady clip, so naturally you'd expect that if fatty got stuck, the kids that followed him were stuck, too.

Not so. Only the big kid disappears. Everyone else comes out the other end, cheering and splashing like nothing's wrong.

Lifeguard shuts down the slide, much to the aggravation of the kids waiting. Before he can go through any of Disney's strict procedures... SPLASH... fatty finally comes out.

Staff members pulled the kid out of the water. He sank like a stone when he hit, his skin already blue and his eyes wide. All he would say was "No-face Kids" and "Stop squeezing".

The kid was okay, in case you're wondering. He got carted right off to the medical center. When Lifeguard was told to open the slide back up, he made a big stink about how it clearly wasn't safe. Despite his complaints, he was threatened with firing and begrudgingly opened the slide again.

From that point on, he kept a closer eye on the kids. Every so often, they'd come out in the wrong order... never as stunned as the fat kid, but always with a vague look of concern... a dreamy half-stupor that seemed as if they were trying to figure out what was reality.

They'd take on some water and choke a bit... and they'd never come back up to ride again.

I read his emails with the same sort of unease you might be feeling right now. I wanted him to share his own story, but in the end he didn't want to expose himself that way. I can't say I blame him.

"Snow White", which wasn't the actual role she played, was a "character" in the park. She had a nice little tidbit for me. You know what happens when a costumed employee drops dead in his suit?

Like, one second he's taking a picture with little Jimmy, and the next he's had a fatal stroke?

A second costumed mascot in the area has to sit with the corpse on a curb or bench and wait for a designated "Dry Cleaner" to arrive and cart the body away in a discrete manner. All the while, patrons have no idea they're sitting with a dead body for photo ops.

Feel free to check your photo albums at this point.

That was bad, but another fellow, "Janitor", went completely off the creepy charts.

Disney World (and probably others) is built with a series of underground tunnels just below your feet. Three stories' worth. Anything and everything you can imagine is down there, for use of the employees.

They're called Utilidors. Utility Corridors.

Basically, that's the reason you don't see characters out of place or Janitors wandering through the park. They pop in and out of hidden doors, and travel a concealed town you're walking on.

Janitor told me something that might be common knowledge, but was nonetheless news to me.

Walt Disney had several apartments built into his parks. There's one above Cinderella's Castle... there's one in the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. They're all over the place.

More than that, there are night clubs, a movie theater, a bowling alley, and much more. All behind doors built right into the whimsical facades you passed by without a second look.

Club 22 is one such hidden area. If you have the cash to join the exclusive club (you don't) then you'll have access to it and much more.

Club 22 is a place where anything goes. Disney Co. calls these places "Dark Zones". Spots where the squeaky-clean visage of Mickey Mouse gives way to drinking, drugs, and, yes, sex.

Conversely, the rest of the park is the "Bright Zone", with a few "Gray Zone" utilidors between.

As far as Janitor has said, it wasn't always that way. It was more of a slow decline and the gradual relaxation of social norms within that elite group.

The reason he knows all of this? You may have already guessed - He's cleaned it.

After a lengthy background check and a non-disclosure form, Janitor moved up from a park attendant to one of the Dark Zone cleaning crew.

Now, before you get some Satanic "human sacrifice" vision in your head, Janitor saw nothing of the sort. Lots of empty alcohol bottles? Yes. Used condoms scattered like deflated New Years balloons? Oh, yeah. He cleaned up his share of blood, piss, and vomit, but it was all down to the unrestricted behavior of patrons as opposed to any sort of cult behavior.

At least that's how he sees it in retrospect.

All that trash, that profane shit, went into a furnace and mingled with the smoke of a quaint cottage's chimney.

If you've been to Disney World, you've breathed ultra-condensed sin.

Backing up this information was "Hammer". Hammer mailed me the old-fashioned way, though I don't know how he got my home address. He sent me photocopies of work papers proving his employment, with the instruction to burn them when I was convinced.

Which I did gladly.

Hammer worked around the Disney World park, doing demolition and construction. At one point, he approached a superior regarding some strange construction plans.

There was wide, rectangular area marked off on the blueprints, about the size of a supermarket. The area was left unnamed, and only bore the words "DO NOT DIG".

Not only was his superior in the dark, but he was super-fucking-purposefully in the dark. He didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to know about it, and ended the conversation with "this space intentionally left blank".

Hammer didn't get it. The area seemed a waste of space, and it was directly conflicting with the work his team had been given. He started poking around the area on his off-time, finding only a derelict steel door, and a great span of concrete just beyond.

It was a "supermarket's worth" of blank, gray floor.

Soon after, Hammer started picking gascots out of the crowds.

Unlike all other reports, the people... the things... would stand in full view of the guy. They'd cluster together in the distance, or they'd just be pressed against a wall when he turned a corner.

He said they "moved weird", like they were weak or injured... like a deer that's been run down by a hunter and can't flee anymore.

The gasmasks... the Disney character faces with filters jammed in... he noted that they seemed wet on the inside, like condensation on a car window. Tiny beads of water glimmered behind the glass, making it impossible for any of them to actually see.

Probing further, Hammer started asking questions of anyone and everyone who had been working in the park for a decade or more.

He hit dead ends throughout, until he was directed to Ida, an elderly woman who worked in a restaurant on Main Street. She'd been there since way back, and though nobody had the balls to ask directly, everyone KNEW she had plenty of terrible stories to tell.

Hammer asked about the empty space, then about the gas-masked customers, and at first he thought he would receive the same non-answers he'd gotten so far. She was quiet. Eerily quiet.

"Room Zero." She croaked, a single, shaking hand placed to her cheek as if she were a little girl fearing a Father's punishment.

She didn't meet the man's gaze for the entire conversation.

Room Zero, as it turned out, was yet another hidden room just like the apartments and Club 22. However, its sheer size and its spot deep beneath the park set it apart from any of the "fun" dark zones.

It was a bomb shelter.

Room Zero was built to withstand a massive attack, be it conducted by foreign or domestic enemies.

Room Zero was to be stocked with enough rations to feed the entire park's average number of patrons at any given moment, and housed a smaller yet lavish "panic room" of sorts for Disney higher-ups.

During World War II, official Disney gas masks were actually produced for children to wear in the event of an attack. The idea was that it would be less scary for kids if Mickey's face was emblazoned on the wartime safety device.

Yes, I know the obvious problems with that.

During the Cold War scare of the 60s, when Disney World was constructed, Room Zero was stocked with similar masks, as well. Whether they cared about the fears of children, or just callous branding, the things found their way down there.

What's more, some genius decided that kids would THEN be frightened by the gas masks their parents wore... and so all masks, adult and child, were made to comply to this insane standard.

Ida described it as "Treating a wound with lemon juice."

None of this explained what Hammer had been seeing, though. Not only the seemingly supernatural appearances, but the emptied out room as well.

"I've been in there," he explained, "There's nothing but a cement floor and four walls."

"No," Ida shook her head and covered her mouth, stifling a sob, "You've been on top of it."

Someone or something sounded the alarm one day, when the park was at full capacity. The warning was clear. It was supposedly an air attack.

Security ushered everyone down, down, down into the tremendous shelter. There, they were ordered to put on their masks and hunker down for the duration of the assault.

Everything was quiet for about thirty minutes, save for the crying children and the frightened whispers. No one wanted to die, and so they were thankful in a way for this strange measure of safety.

Then, the first scream rang out.

"Hey!" a man shouted, "Quit pinching!"

Waves of shrieks and yelps rippled through the crowd, from one wall to the other, back and forth.

"Who's running around? Settle down!" Someone hollered.

"Who's laughing? This isn't funny!"

"Ow! Who stepped on my foot?!"

Despite security guards' urging to calm down and keep their cool, the crowd became more and more agitated until, finally, after nearly an hour of madness...

The lights flickered...

Then died.

What followed could only be described as utter chaos. In the dark, only the wails of the young and the anguished cries of adults could be heard in a massive, swelling din that bloodied the ears of all within that black echo chamber.

A group of staff members and a select few patrons made it out of the door, ready to face the War above rather than the insanity below. What they found, of course, was a desolate, yet untouched theme park. The music continued to play, echoing through silent storybook towns.

Upon returning to Room Zero, the few who stood at the top of the steel staircase that lead down into the pitch blackness heard no sign of the previous fray. There was only silence.

Ida herself descended that staircase despite the begging of those she left above.

She reached the reinforced doors, herself now awash in darkness and hearing only the buzzing in her ears.

A single voice came out of the darkness. The echo made it impossible to tell whether the mocking, raspy voice was at the back of the bomb shelter, or if it was right in front of her face.

"Shut the door, dear. You're letting out the cold."

Gripped by terror, she did just that. Within days, the entire thing... shelter, staircase, all of it... was covered with feet upon feet of cement. Air systems and generators above its ceiling were removed, creating the large, empty space.

"They're all still down there." Ida told Hammer, "Down there with whoever that was."

You might notice I've used Ida's name.

Unfortunately, she passed away soon after telling her story. Accidental fall, supposedly, after getting out of bed to turn on a light.

"Such a company devotee," the paper reported, "that her entire bedroom was covered with Mickey silhouettes."

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