#i get to be a bit unreasonable and mean in my personal blog.

[cloudyweatherahead]

can't believe my nearly two-hour mental health blogging got interrupted by my brother calling me at 2am to ask me if i think he'll miss his late night bus

can't a girl try to achieve inner calm in peace you motherfuckers

[dunmeshistash]

Greetings, Mr. Meshi!

This is perhaps a bit of an unorthodox question, but one that has been bothering me for an unreasonable amount of time.

Now, here's the thing: I OBSESS over Marcille outliving everyone she holds dear. It's a theme very close to me, but even beyond that I just find it to be one of the most interesting elements of Dungeon Meshi's story for me personally. I've written an embarrassing amount of lengthy essays on it that will never see the light of day - that's how obsessed I am over this specific element of her character. But, there's something that bothers me...

A lot of poignant stories and artworks that tackle this topic get comments on 'em whenever Falin is the subject of aging, each one some variation of "Everything points to Falin having an extended lifespan after her revival!" which... Seems weird to me?

I don't know why this bothers me so much, but setting aside my personal annoyances, I don't remember anything pointing to this at all. At least, nothing concrete.

I don't know if this is a question you'd want to answer or not, but since your blog is a hub for all sorts of opinions and headcanons, I'd love to know where this line of thought could originate from.

I really wouldn't blame you if you didn't answer this question, though. Part of me feels I'm just asking this because I want to see if others share in my confusion or not.

Rrrregardless, though! Lemme take the opportunity to say that your blog is delighful. Love it! Also, that mushroom man with the funny face that sometimes responds to you with lengthy essays is also really cool. Everyone is cool. At least here on the northern hemisphere! It is smack dab in the middle of fall, after all! Coolness all around! Stay frosty! Or don't! Maybe warm up at a fireplace. I don't know!

Hi there! Thank you for the kind words, I love reading other's opinions on what I post so I also love the additions by the mushroom <3

It's quite hot over here in northeast Brazil, send some coolness my way please I'm dying.

Your question isn't strange at all! And I don't mind answering anything (unless it's rude or sounds like shipping war bait) so don't worry.

(Decided to put the rest under a readmore, TLDR: Kui said "maybe so, right?" about Falin having a longer lifespan but I have arguments why I don't think this actually confirms it. Anyway if you're someone who likes the headcanon you might want to skip this post)

To be honest those type of comments bother me too because I also LOVE Marcille's struggle with mortality and sometimes "Falin will live much longer!" feels undermining of the lesson she had to learn. I don't mind it in the headcanon sphere where everything is allowed and happy endings grow on trees but when it becomes intertwined with canon it starts to make me a little disappointed.

Just a reminder of the lesson she has to learn

She has to come to terms with the cycle of life and death, that something she wants (everyone to live longer) shouldn't be forced upon others just because it causes her grief. So, to me at least, Falin being made into something that will end up outliving other tallmen would undermine the message? In a canon sense ofc, if you're writing a wish fulfillment story then her living longer would have a different meaning, I just wanna be clear I have nothing against it in that sense, it all depends on what story you're trying to tell.

Anyway, actually answering your question that idea comes from the fact she was fused to a Red Dragon, and the fact her body has been affected by it, her sight was fixed and she grows feathers for example, so people theorize maybe her lifespan has been affected too. But we don't really know how long dragon's live so it's hard to say how much it would have been affected if at all.

It also comes from this answer Kui gave in a QnA

Q: Would Falin have an extended lifespan after the whole chimera thing? A: Maybe so, right?

To me this reads as the usual non-answers Kui gives, like, "I'll leave it up to your imagination" but for other people this read as a confirmation of the headcanon, in another questions she answers "I hope so" about Thistle leading a happy life after having his desires eaten and it's even debatable if Thistle survived at all so I don't think those comments indicate much of canon (I'm that way about most QnA answers tbh, unless it's something inconsequential like confirming Mithrun's Brother's name or stuff about very minor characters)

Another argument I have against her having a different lifespan is Izutsumi, Izu has been mixed with a monster but continues to age at the same rate a Tallmen would, even tho she also has different biology because of the Great Cat she's fused with (ears, reflexes, eyes etc etc) she is still a tallman

Falin isn't really the same thing as Izutsumi tho, I understand, but it's the closest example we have, if we believe the AB descriptions and demi-humans are really mixes between humans and monsters that's also another argument about it not affecting lifespan, since all of them are short lived and have an average lifespan of 55.

All of this *can* be dissmissed tho, the other demi-humans and beastmen are all mixed with mammal monsters and nothing nearly as powerful as a Dragon, so there is arguments to be made that Falin is different and that she *might* have an extended lifespan, all I'm saying is that there's no solid confirmation of it, it's fine to believe it but going around "correcting" other people saying it's a fact wouldn't be right I don't think, especially if you're saying that in a conversation about Marcille journey of death acceptance.

Death is a touchy subject and everyone is at different stages of their own journeys with it so I really don't want to judge those who would rather have Falin or even Laios live longer. I'm not really sure how to talk about this in the proper way, but I hope I didn't make anyone upset!

[dazai-anon-archive-taketwo]

Your answer is complete bullshit. What the dazai anon did is nowhere as serious as what you are doing. You want her personal life basically sabotaged, and all she did was send you a couple of cruel messages that made you have a bad day, guess what? That’s everyday for the dazai anon. She’s just fucking tired of the treatment her favorite character faces form this shitty fandom, even his own “stans” join in the hate against him but there seems to be some hypocrisy against chuuya or even the fucking pedophile mori.

All she did was send mean things out of frustration and anger, she deserves to feel that way. I don’t agree with death threats, but nothing about her behavior is “harassment” or “grooming minors” you’re all dumb fucking idiotic children and it shows seeing how you label petty internet fights as “crimes”, at the end of the day, did you lose your degree? did you lose your job? are you in constant fear and suicidal ideations because you’re scared you’re going to jail over THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CHUUYA NAKAHARA of all things???? No! You are completely fine and living your life with no fears or anxieties as she is. Your blog is also completely useless btw! No one is gonna make a case on this, your parents didn’t which is why they asked u to delete the previous blog. Follow their advice again and leave the Dazai anon the FUCK alone and have the balls to actually face her without holding legal threats over her head. You pieces of shits.

What she does is tell people to kill themselves and say that she hopes they die, that their pets die, that they fail their finals, that their mental health/life gets worse. All over fictional characters, and we are just documenting it. At most she might get a fine, or have her Tumblr/Twitter privileges removed. I'm not sure how that second one would play out but I know people have been banned from sites.

As for the. having a bad day bit. I've mentioned this to her before but I have several disorders that make everyday hard for me too, most notably that I've been either passively or actively suicidal for the last 6 years. How do you think her damn near constant hate and harassment of me and my friends affects my mental state? I say it doesn't get to me because it doesn't incapacitate me and I don't want my friends to worry. The shit builds up. I have blocked her, I have reported her, I have ignored her, I have asked her to leave me alone. None of that has worked.

I understand the frustration she goes through, that's the whole reason I don't interact with the pjo fandom anymore. I was taking everything personally, I couldn't play nice with others and I realized that I was problem so I stopped interacting with it. That is my oldest special interest that has kept me alive multiple times. I do not post about it. Because it is unreasonable for me to ask everyone else in the fandom to only see it my way.

She has become the problem here and needs to deal with that. It is not fair to everyone else here for her to decide that her way is the only right way and everyone who disagrees is against her specifically. She absolutely has every right to feel angry or frustrated but she does not have the right to take that out on everyone else, if she doesn't want to block people and respect people blocking her she needs to leave until she can play nice.

As for the legal action, she can stop harassing people right now and case will likely go nowhere. And I have tried to talk to her about the things she does without "threatening legal action" and she called me a cunt and stupid and jobless and a dickrider and a doormat. She isn't willing to talk things out and treat others with respect, so we have this blog. And we have gotten a few asks regarding legal action, we haven't answered them publicly because Kavya tends to harass anyone mentioned here.

-2

[simlicious]

Personal update!

Hey everyone! I started to write this at 9:40 am, then I got distracted and did not post it right away but I guess activity on tumblr at that time is low anyway.

I am happy to report that I am still going strong with my changed day/night cycle. It's not always easy, I don't get into bed early enough on some days and feel pretty groggy the next. But this is always where I get defeated - I think okay, sleeping in for half an hour won't be a problem... but then I go to bed even later and the cycle goes backwards really quickly. This time I am determined to stay strong even if that means I walk around like a zombie and drink 1.5 liters of black tea on some days to keep me awake 😆

I guess it takes time to adjust the evening routines too. On these "useless" days, I often play Anno 1800 which is engaging and relaxing at the same time. I often quit the game to mod this and that in the game, so my brain is pretty engaged still and this is how I like it most days.

Since new habits need at least 6 weeks to be counted as a new stable habit, I will focus only on my sleep rhythm for the time being and allow myself to take a mental break from other projects to eliminate the inner expectation of working on those when I know it is unreasonable at this time. It also does me good to let go of any pressure to create TS3 content. I know it has been a while but it does nobody any good if I guilt myself because of it. I often get negative feelings around my simblr lately and it sucks, like I am really unsure about the few AI patterns I made and the poll made me really question what I should do since it is pretty divided. I do not know whether those are more random people who answered the poll or people who often engage in my blog anyway. So I don't really know if I should release those patterns at all or if people come and harass me over them if I do. But not releasing them would mean that energy to create them would be truly wasted, I think? If the images exist already, shouldn't they be used to make it count? Because thinking of that makes me uneasy, I put my creative energy into Anno 1800 for the time being which is not emotionally loaded. I am way too disorganized to really do beauty building, and most of the time I am just happy when my population get the goods they want 😆but modding another item that helps with that or editing other people's mods to fit my needs is fun and satisfying. It's a bit like editing tuning mods for Sims 3 (just with some more complicated layers added depending on the mod).

Knowing myself, I will get another pattern idea soon enough though, and sweater season is fast approaching which means I get into the mood of creating more cozy patterns, hopefully! I want to give a shoutout to people who have shown my patterns in screenshots lately. I admit I am not very active on tumblr at the moment and do not see everything I should. Memorable ones were @martassimsbook and @gittessimsadventuresog, but anyone else please feel addressed too! It means a lot to me to see my patterns in use, it makes me feel validated and useful and lifts my spirits. It also helps to dispel some of my negative thoughts (maybe patterns do not go obsolete after all if people are still using them). I'm really happy they are so useful to you! A lot of you probably do not post many gameplay screenshots but use my patterns anyway, I cannot forget about you 💜thanks for all the support!

[balkanradfem]

I was trying to explain to my friend how all music from our country that is made by m*n is sexist, and was deconstructing the lyrics of some beloved, popular songs from the 90s. She told me I was the only person who would ever find fault in those songs, and acted like I was, in fact, a lunatic for dissecting every little thing to find offense in it. So I thought, you know what, I will bring this to my blog. Let the tumblrinas decide if I'm right.

So I will translate for you, some of our very beloved songs, in order to tell you what I think is wrong with them. If you're croatian, this will be funny, and you are allowed to correct my translation. I don't even hate these, they're incredibly catchy, but the lyrics are driving me insane.

Mary and Kate (youtube link) (1st verse) I thought the life was restaurants and dreams Friends, pretty women, for love to guide me And wherever I went, I didn't care I loved, never asked, through the world I drifted (chorus) Mary and Kate Where are they, to come back? My beautiful little Anne Who did you sleep with tonight? (2nd) I talked a lot, drank a lot, and laughed a lot I did this and that, everything, and always what I wanted And while I drifted, a crazy fool Pretty girls were all snatched by effortless cretins (chorus) (3rd) Where was I, what I was doing, who did I love? I was having fun, never lost my head I am still the same, I am the real one Real m*n goes, gives, never gets spoilt.

I no longer understand These young girls I am real for them They are not the real ones. I no longer understand What do they want? If only women were what they once were. (chorus) Mary and Kate Where are they, to come back? My beautiful little Anne Who did you sleep with tonight?

So you all can probably tell why this pisses me off, the chorus itself is giving me rage, but then the last bit just goes into full misogyny rant about women. It is obvious that this is a bullshit sicko man! He fancies himself as a 'vagabond' who just drifts around, drinks and has sex with women, and while he was young, it was working out for him and he could get young women to sleep with him, and then some time later, women obviously caught on onto the fact that he is a worthless drunk who doesn't do anything but party and bed women, incapable of being faithful or useful to anyone, and they've settled for males who, I would hope, are at least having a job and don't cheat or do alcohol all day. So as a response to that, he has to go and say 'wow women today are not real anymore, what do they want?? I am the real male obviously, m*n can never go bad, but all these women, they are unreal for not wanting me,' and then he proceeds to try and guilt trip MULTIPLE WOMEN AT ONCE for being on a location he doesn't know of, asking who they slept with! It's literally none of his business! He's literally not invested in any of these and will not contribute to their life in any manner except to give them a horrible time and to then proceed to look for his next victim, but they're being depicted as wrong and unreasonable. It's very obvious why no woman would look at him!

It makes me even more concerned that by the end of the song, he's no longer saying 'women', he's saying 'girls', indicating that now that he's older, he's interested in younger female demographic, but then also a verse later he had the GALL to call them 'not real women', if they're also not interested in him. In the end he even goes 'if only women were what they once were', by which he probably means, without any rights to reject him, without legal protection, only that way he could get whatever he would want from them.

My friend told me I'm supposed to just 'not listen to the lyrics' but m*n are listening to these lyrics! And agreeing! And if we're also acting uncritically, they're taking it as a sign that we also agree! A m*n wrote these!! It got mega popular!! And the song itself is so damn catchy it's been playing in my head all damn day. Someone needs to say something!!!!

The second one I want to criticize is considered one of the most beautiful, most romantic songs in our language, and I too will sing it sometimes because the imagery gets to me, but once I fully analyzed the lyrics I could see that something unsavory and messed up is going on in here and I am going to talk about it.

Empress (youtube link) (1st verse) Golden threads of the summer dawn came to her castle to wake up my love. Light shall kiss her face, beautiful as in an empress, while I can't kiss her. Golden net of her body has captured my soul only to throw it back into the sea. Every morning, before dawn I come to her castle, white castle of my penance. (chorus) All of my life, all I wanted was her. To find the way to her heart. All of my life, my body is without her Like flowers without water.

These are all of the lyrics, and on the first glance, it sounds beautiful, he's describing her as royalty, and without any derogatory terms as well, which is not common, thus the romantic notion. But. If you paid attention, there are clues that tell us that this woman is not even remotely interested in him, and he's depicting himself as this deeply pained, suffering man, and he's suffering because of her appearance.

He's depicting an image of a woman who is hidden from him, by a castle, and he can't get close to her – this is probably because she is unwilling to face him, or to come close to him, she's behind a wall for a reason. He even implies he's jealous of the light kissing her face, which is in the area of insane obsessed stalker, and when you read further on, he mentions he actually comes to her castle, BEFORE DAWN, which means she probably doesn't know he's doing it, he is in fact, stalking this woman. He describes her castle as a white castle where his punishment happens – he is punished by what? Her existing?

The only description of this woman we get is the perceived beauty of her, there's never any insight in who she is, anything she does or says that would imply interest, but he feels deeply victimized. 'Golden net of her body has captured my sol', he imagines that her appearance was a trap to capture him, by which we can assume the poor woman never even said anything to him, he just saw her and decided that she is responsible for his feeling, because he likes appearance and feels he should have her. And here also we can see that she doesn't want him, because she 'threw his soul back into the sea', meaning she did not show any interest in him. He goes on to cry about how his body is 'like flowers without water', implying he is withering at the foot of her castle, because she is not showing any interest in sleeping with him, oh the horrors.

This is clearly a stalker song! She probably never even spoke to this man and he doesn't seem to know anything about her, he never ever mentions anything except for her beauty, we don't know what this woman is like, or what she wants, this is not a love song! The only agency this woman is showing is that she's staying hidden in her castle PROBABLY FOR A GOOD REASON, and he keeps stalking her and claiming she's causing him pain. I would freaking move castles.

The only saving grace of this song is that I do hope he withers completely without ever getting a glimpse of her, and that she never even finds out, which I feel is the correct way for him to go, without bothering her.

These are not the only songs I find issue with, I am actually continually mad about many other songs but I will leave it at this for now. Thank you for coming to my music corner where we point things out.

[elliespuns]

https://www.tumblr.com/elliespuns/743339485174054912/how-do-you-feel-about-everyone-going-nuts-on-tlou

you summed up my thoughts perfectly! there is a lot of very juvenile virtue signalling going on right now but then again i’ve always found things like ‘black outs’ and ‘strikes’ a little silly and just.. unrealistic honestly. it’s just a way for people to flex ‘i’m better than you because i’m dedicating all my free time to the cause and you’re not’. it reminds me of the very toxic twitter era where this sort of grapple for moral superiority was rampant amongst young people trying to assert that they were in fact good and pure (a LOT of these individuals are 17,18,19 it seems). not everyone wants to be a social media activist and that’s perfectly valid. calling you a zionist on anon is way too far though, at least have the guts to put forth such a serious accusation with your name attached.

I just think that people attacking bloggers for not 'spreading' informations about the conflict are unreasonable and rude. 

Every fandom blogger has their own personal social media where they might be talking about it, which these anon attackers won't ever know, yet they keep harassing. They are basically trying to spread good by being mean to others? How ironic.

I don't feel the need to apologize for not sharing it here. If I feel I want to share something here, I will (as I did a few hours ago). People should realize I am running a fandom blog here. Those who are already following me must already be aware of how things are.

Needless to say, many of us fell in love with the game back in 2013 (part 1) and 2020 (part 2) where there was no conflict and no 'choosing sides'. So now that the creator of the same game shows his true colors, we're supposed to start hating on something we already love and find hard to unlove? A bit harsh, huh? Because unless we go and buy the products from the big corporate companies, we are harming no one. Loving something from afar has never hurt anyone. For Christ's sake, we're loving a game with fictional characters, not the people who have the guns and bombs. The game will always be there; ignoring its existence will do nothing. 

For those who would be wondering (as I understand everyone expects a big fan like me to own things related to TLOU)… yes, I own things. But I bought them a long time ago, when there was NO conflict to get upset about yet. All of these things were bought secondhand on top of everything (well, except for Part 1, which I bought completely new back at the time—again, no conflict back then). So does that mean I should just take all these things and throw them away too? The damage has already been done; someone already bought these things from the corporate companies before selling them to me secondhand. Should I just take all these things, destroy them, and throw them out the window to prove what exactly? That doing so is completely useless too because it helps literally nobody? These things might as well just keep lying on my shelf. I didn't hurt anybody by getting them back in the day.

I am tired of repeating myself over and over. Those who understand this will get me. Those who don't, won't. And that's okay. I won't apologize for talking about Palestine in my personal life and not in the feed of the silly little blog I manage.

[age-of-moonknight]

Helloo

If im not bothering you too much, may I ask what you know about the cia?

I know it may not be a question related to moon knight, or maybe it could be, but im kinda interested to know the basics at least and you seem to know a lot about it

Btw, i absolutely adore your blog

Hello!!! :D I'm so glad that you enjoy this blog and thanks for stopping by! Although, well,,,,hm,,,maybe it's just my rabid paranoia sinking its claws even deeper into me, but this is one of the more interesting asks I've gotten for this blog, that's for sure. 😅 For perhaps some context, I think anon might be referencing this post I made, gosh, close to two years ago now, where I got....maybe a little too excited talking about the history of the CIA and what Marc's time with The Company could mean for his character hahaha Accordingly, a full rundown on the agency's history, not to mention its many, many facets, is probably a bit outside the purview of this blog, but this is then a good time to state that if anyone ever wants to talk about anything and everything besides Moon Knight, my dms are always open and I'm happy to chat! However,,,I also have an affliction where I am an incorrigible pedant who jumps at the chance to write essays on things that interest me (and intelligence interests me very, very much, unfortunately). As such, while all my instincts are telling me this is absolutely glowing bait on a hook, if anyone wants to read a rambling wall of text about that agency Marc spent some time with, that will be waiting for you under the cut. Again, disclaimer, I'm just some person on the internet and thus can't really be considered a credible source on much of anything (except maybe how many times Moon Knight has teamed up with the Punisher hahaha). All the following info could easily be gathered from OSINT sources (and we're talking, like, Wikipedia, although this gave me the chance to pull out one of my favorite textbooks, Intelligence: From Secrets to Policy by Mark Lowenthal (vol. 7). If you're the textbook reading-type and interested in the topic, I'd suggest giving it a shot, particularly chapters 2 and 3 for the CIA and the U.S.' broader intelligence community). I tried to keep this incredibly surface level, as these are all topics that you could write monographs on, so if you want more sources/context, just hit me up! This also got,,,,unreasonably long (I didn't even know tumblr HAD a point where it would stop autosaving, but apparently trying to list all of the CIA's crimes against humanity will get you there), so I ended up having to split this across multiple posts.

Conception I discussed it in my previous post, but I'll give a brief rundown on how the Central Intelligence Agency came to be. So, the United States had intelligence organs pre-World War II, but they would typically only be spun up for however long a conflict lasted and then all of their assets would be reintegrated back into the military, da? But then with the end of WWII ushering in the atomic age and nuclear deterrence pushing out conventional conflict in favor of an espionage-fueled Cold War, the U.S. government deemed it prudent to have a permanent intelligence gathering service. There was just one hiccup, the question of what to do with the U.S.' WWII-era intelligence service, the Office of Strategic Services (OSS). Under the leadership of the very descriptively nicknamed Brigadier/Major General William "Wild Bill" Donovan, OSS officers had been running around conducting sabotage and espionage operations throughout Europe and Asia, doing wild things like working with an underground intelligence network of European Catholic priests and coordinating with the 20 July plot/Operation Valkyrie assassination attempt on Hitler. They were the very definition of irregular, British officials accused them of "playing cowboys," and the U.S.' massive post-war military organization was loathe to have to find some way to force OSS officers into the military's necessary uniformity, so in 1947, after a couple years of bureaucratic shuffling, the OSS apparatus got pasted onto this new intelligence agency that was so far,,,rather bookish and the CIA as we know it was born. This divide, between the incredibly Ivy League analysts and the more martial remnants of the OSS that got folded in was a contributor to the two major branches of the CIA (and their infamous intra-agency rivalry), so this perhaps a good segue into the CIA's different internal departments, its "directorates."

There are the two ogs, the Directorate of Operations and the Directorate of Analysis, and then the newer Directorates of Digital Innovation, Support, plus Science & Technology. (Note: this is as the agency stands now; there have been some fluctuations in structure and naming conventions over the years).

The Directorate of Operations (DO) needs little introduction, as it's the legacy of the OSS and what most people think of when they hear the word "espionage," the kind of work one individual once described to me as "fast cars, nice suits, and unlimited spending" (hope he's still out there and doing well). They're your politically deniable boots on the ground collecting HUMINT (human intelligence such as handling contacts and the like) and executing covert actions. It contains the ultimate sharp point of the spear, the Special Activity Center (SAC) with its Political Action Group (PAG), which spreads black propaganda, influences elections, and conducts other psychological operations, and the Covert Action Group (CAG), which draws operators from the military's special forces programs to form their own direct action, counter-intel/counter-terror, unconventional warfare, paramilitary group (they have a very diverse set of martial skills). Naturally, most recipients of the U.S. intelligence community's highest honors, the Intelligence Star and Distinguished Intelligence Cross are from the SAC. Most of the stars on the CIA HQ's Wall of Honor, which memorializes officers who died in service of the CIA, represent SAC officers too, however.

The Directorate of Analysis (DA), in contrast, doesn't get enough love, despite making up nearly half of the CIA for decades. Whereas the DO mainly collects the intelligence through various means, the DA has the people who take the raw intel and try to turn it into something digestible for policy makers (whether that means just translating the intel into basic English or proposing whole, wide-sweeping policy strategies has varied across the agency's history depending on its professionalism and the degree of government oversight at the time). They get so overshadowed despite being a key part of the intelligence cycle, it's almost not funny hahaha (I kid you not, the official CIA website not only has a "kids" section with an online coloring book that depicts the various directorates as heroes, but it even went so far as to depict the DO with a rather dashing hat and cape,,,,while they gave the representation of the DA glasses and a briefcase, I weep hahaha). However, if you've ever heard a stereotype of the CIA actually being made up of a bunch of incredibly Ivy League, smart but cliquey, uncomfortably cold (both in manner and strategy) eggheads, that would be because of the DA. That's a very disparaging stereotype,,,,but it got its start from somewhere. It's still the CIA after all, and there have been times in the institution's history where the only thing to distract the DA from its intra-agency pissing contest with the more domineering DO was to shield the CIA from any sort of external government or other agency encroachment on the CIA's "purview."

Probably the next most established division would be the Directorate of Science & Technology (DST). Whereas the DO is predominantly HUMINT and the DA works closest with policy makers, the DST is the one expanding the CIA's technological capacity to deal with CBRN threats (chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear), and collect SIGINT (signals intelligence over radio waves and the like), IMINT (image intelligence as from satellites), and GEOINT (geological intelligence monitoring seismographs to, for example, detect if a nation is doing underground nuclear tests). Intel collection is only as good as the tools used and naturally intelligence agencies all around the world are constantly trying to leapfrog each other in capabilities, circumvention, and denial (preventing adversarial interest's collection efforts, that is).

Similarly, the most recent division is the Directorate of Digital Innovation (DDI), which is similar to the DST, but the DDI is focused almost entirely on cyberwarfare/espionage. They also seem to be doing a lot with OSINT ("open-source" intelligence, AKA any information you can access without a security clearance). OSINT used to be a bit of a joke in the intelligence community ("so, it's just what you read in the paper this morning??? That puts it one step above LAVINT: intelligence collected by overhearing conversations in the lavatory"), but with the explosion of information made available by the modern internet landscape and social media, you can go far with OSINT. (If you too salivate over the potential OSINT, maybe checkout Bellingcat if you haven't already)

Lastly but not least, there's the Directorate of Support, who are all the people who keep The Company running smoothly, managing logistics, comms, security at CIA sites, and overseeing officer training.

So yeah, I've alluded to the DA's and DO's rivalry, so maybe I should talk about inter- and intra-agency competition and the hot water those things have got the CIA in over the years. Maintaining an effective intelligence community is a tricky thing, particularly in a nation trying its best to be democratic and at least nominally respect human rights. You want officers to be able to collect intelligence, but you can't let them have so much free rein they rough up the nation's own citizens with impunity (as that's a bad look and can lead to civilian push back that could not only hurt the regime but handicap intelligence gathering in the future) and you definitely don't want an intelligence agency getting so much power it feels like it can start dictating a nation's policy instead of just advising on it. (Plus, the absolute nightmare scenario of an agency that's gone completely off the rails and no longer bothers much with consulting on politics at all, but just operates completely independently). Thus, to prevent the intelligence community from getting too big for its own good, a little competition, a little checks-and-balances from within the intelligence community can be beneficial. The drive by one intel group to outperform another (and consequently get more recognition/funding/etc.) can lead to a mutual improvement of the products that end up on a policy maker's desk. Having said that, I hope I explained it in such a way where you might see the issue with the CIA being the U.S.' singular, domineering force in the federal intelligence community for decades. The DA and DO had their marked cultural divide, but the CIA had very little competition from other agencies and, for example, had their ultimate weapon: the President's Daily (intel) Brief. The CIA, due to its vast capabilities, for years had the privilege of providing the president with (what the CIA deemed to be) the most important intel topics of the day. Accordingly, particularly during the Cold War before government oversight of the CIA really kicked up, this allowed the CIA to sway the government towards some at best politically questionable and more critically ethically deplorable policy choices.

Yeah, having gotten this far, I don't think I've made it clear that, for as much as I am fascinated by and spent,,,,a lot of resources studying subjects such as intelligence and terrorism, I am fully cognizant and never quite cease to be outraged by the injustice that permeates those fields. The CIA for sure, with its vast resources and the outsized role the United States played in meddling in international affairs during the Cold War and on, is a chief and, now, well-documented offender. I'm sure CIA intelligence collection and guidance has prevented many attacks we'll never know about, but you can't talk about the CIA without discussing the actions that directly resulted in thousands dead. Let's go over some of their greatest hits, shall we? (And that takes me so long I have to put it in a whole other post).

[zeddimusprime]

Trans Man Noah Diaz

The first time I saw Rise of the Beasts, I read Noah as a Trans Man, and that headcanon just solidified after my second viewing.

I’ll get the heavy reasons out of the way first, and work down to the most silly ones.

The section that was here before has been removed, because I was overstepping and someone rightly called me out on it. However. I’m not going to lie and pretend I didn’t do what I did. I deleted the comment that called me out because it made me feel bad, I panicked, and deleted it to save my own ego. It was wrong, it was cowardly, it was fucked up, and I shouldn’t have done it.

I truly am sorry, and have spent the last day sitting with myself until I stopped trying to excuse my behavior and just acknowledged what I did. I am not asking for forgiveness, I can only try going forward to be the kind of person deserving of it.

For now, I’m taking a break from this blog, leaving it on a queue, and I won’t be posting here for a while. Even though that isn’t the kind of person I want to be, I need to reckon with the fact that that is the kind of person I am. I’m sorry, once again.

1994 was also the year Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was put into place, which, for those too young to remember, was basically a policy allowing queer and trans people to serve in the military so long as they remained closeted, and prohibited superiors from forcibly outing them. Given that we’re never actually told in the film why Noah was discharged, it’s not unreasonable to think that it may have been because he got found out as trans.

The part that’s particularly personal for me is his relationship with Kris. I’ve also got a little brother that’s quite a bit younger than me, and I acted as an extra parent to him, practically raised him since we were both latchkey kids, and yeah, there’s no doubt in my mind that I’d face the apocalypse head on if it meant keeping him safe. All that to say, it’s comforting to think that Noah’s identity as a man is inseparable from his identity as a Big Brother, the way it is for me.

Most of my other reasons are less serious:

Noah wears a lot of layers and baggy clothes on his upper half, which yes, was part of 90s fashion, but it’s also how I dressed for most of my life, even before I realized I was trans.

Noah is also non-toxically masculine in a way that’s not unheard of but also not as common for men, especially service members, of that time period. Again, there may very well be a cultural component I’m missing here, let me know if there is, but this is just something I related to as a Guy Who Wasn’t Raised As One.

This last one’s kinda silly, but I’m a Car Guy, and one of the most gender euphoria inducing things I can do is work on my car. There’s few things that make me feel like Man quite like sweat on my brow and grease on my hands and a purring engine from a job well done. So for Noah to not only be a tech wiz but specifically a Mechanic? That was the thing that really sold me on this headcanon. (And that’s not even getting into the very fun implications of Noah being the one to repair Mirage, to get to know him so intimately, literally inside and out. Very nice.)

(I also love the idea that rather than being weirded out or taken aback at first like he is in some fics, Noah would be kinda weirdly affirmed to find out that not only does Mirage have some of roughly the same *equipment* while still being treated as and being a Mech, but his setup is the norm for Cybertronians. I can so picture Noah anxiously telling Mirage about his situation when they finally get together only for Mirage to be like “you mean other human mechs don’t have a 🐈??? Like, most humans only have one or the other?????”)

[thevoidscreams]

Pretty words

The other idea I had for @liar-anubiass-blog 's ask in which the reader is a diplomat with the imperium of man.

"I think that went quite well." Sanguinius smiled and reclined into his office chair, relaxing for the first time in days.

"Only because you were there." You laughed softly and joined him at his side, organizing your report of the interactions taken over the last week to peacefully bring this world into compliance.

"Why do you say that? You're a wonderful speaker and negotiator." Sanguinius insisted sincerely.

"They could hardly take their eyes off of you, I don't think they heard a word of what I had to say." You explained, not bitter but something like it. Bit not for the reasons you anticipated. You couldn't care less that the other diplomats didn't look at or hear you. But a gross jealous little pocket in your heart swelled as you thought about how in love a few of them looked. Not just awed but like they were experiencing love for the first time ever.

"Well, all that matters is that the meetings went well." You said precisely and tapped your slate as you put those people out of your mind.

A massive arm pulled you in and Sanguinius lifted you with no effort at all into his lap.

"Something is bothering you, my love."

It was impossible to hide things from him. So you usually didn't try, but it was embarrassing to admit you didn't like other people looking him up and down the way they had been.

"It's silly, and I'd rather not talk about it."

The angel tilted your chin back with one finger, and your eyes met his. You utterly crumbled under his gaze.

"Fine," you sighed as you set down your slate, "I didn't like how a lot of the other delegates were staring at you is all. Their gazes were so hungry, and I didn't like the idea of them wanting you. It made me jealous, which, I know, is a bit unreasonable, given that we're together and it didn't matter, but my feelings were getting the better of me the whole time and I wanted to climb into your lap to make them all stop."

Ypu took a breath, and Sanguinius chuckled. "So it was you as well then?"

You glanced up at him quizzically. "Hm? What do you mean?"

Sanguinius's hold around your waist grew tighter as he held you against his chest.

"I'm talking about that older man. What was his name?"

"Hugo Vantora?" You supplied, there was only really older individual out of all the delegates.

"Yes, him. The way he kept isolating you during breaks and suggesting it would be nice to 'Go find some peace and quiet'." Sanguinius huffed, his feathers abnormally fluffed.

"Yeah and? The guy needed a nap, I just don't know why he didn't take it."

"He was after more than just a nap unless you consider sleeping with another person a nap."

"No... you're not saying what I think you're saying, are you?" You breathed in disbelief.

"I wouldn't lie to you, my dearest. But you were tired yourself. I can see why you didn't immediately pick up on the advance."

You thought on his words for a minute, confused as to why he'd tell you all this. Then it clicked.

"Oh my throne! Sanguinius? Were you jealous of some old guy?" It was hard not to chuckle.

He sighed and nuzzled his perfect face against the top of your head. "Of him? No, but he did take a good bit of your time up, and his ability to openly make suggested of that nature to you was... irksome. And I was," he swallowed his pride to admit it, "jealous that you spent so much time with him."

He leaned down to kiss your cheek and neck. "All I wanted all week was to steal you away where he wouldn't state at you and remind you of how much I love you."

He continued to kiss your neck, and you shivered.

"Well, there's no one to stare at either of us here."

"No, indeed, there's not." He purred.

You both spent the rest of the night reminding the other why neither of you had any reasons to be jealous.

[hyenahunt]

Obbligato: The Punishment of Kaname Tojo - 2

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring, two years ago

Characters: Jun, Kaname

Proofreading: Remi + 310mc (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: Peace & hyenahunt

Jun: So bring it the fuck on! Don't hold back! No matter what kinda unreasonable suffering you Specials put me through, I won’t feel a thing!

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: At the same time, in a classroom for the exclusive use of Special Students within Reimei Academy.

Jun: — GODDAMN!

Kaname: .....

Jun: Hey, HiMERU! What the fuck d'ya think you're doing, you asshole!?

Kaname: I could ask you the same thing, Sazanami!

You're not a Special Student, and yet you've waltzed into our classroom without permission whatsoever, spewing such insults my way!

That’s a curse word, right? Goddamn, I mean.

Jun: You bet it is. Kazehaya-senpai told me that rather than cursing at other people when something bad happens, we oughta curse at God instead.

"That way, no one will get hurt," or so he said.

Kaname: Really now. Whether God exists or not, I don't think he's listening to a word we're saying down here.

So no matter how much you curse at him, he's probably not hurt one bit by it.

It makes sense—You learned a useful word, didn’t you? Of course, a perfect idol like myself would never allow such unpleasant words to pass my lips, though.

Jun: Perfect idol, my ass. The stupid words you spout always straight-up clash with your good looks, huh?

Kaname: I'm merely stating a fact, that's all.

Jun: Oh, riiight. Well, I dunno 'bout perfect, but you're not wrong — you've come to be the top idol at Reimei Academy.

Kaname: I have. Through hard work, of course.

Jun: Hard work? The fuck are you on about, you degenerate copycat, stealing the hard work of someone else — of Kazehaya-senpai!

The hell d'you mean, hard work? Cut the crap, you thieving bastard!

Kaname: It seems you're misunderstanding something... Sazanami, was it?

Pardon me. I'm not an idiot, but I'm bad at remembering things; if it isn't important, then it slips right away.

Jun: Yeah, yeah, that's right... I know you high and mighty Specials can't be assed to remember the names of losers like me, huh?

Forget shitty useless guys like us, right? It's more important to remember the contact info of your business partners or all the shit you study up on in idol history, yeah?

Kaname: That's right. Being an idol requires one to have resourcefulness and knowledge to match, not to mention a tremendous amount of technical skill — I can't neglect a single thing.

The human brain can only hold so much.Therefore, we must be exceptionally discerning in what we choose to remember and what we choose to forget.

Jun: Hah! Exceptionally discerning, he says! Using big words for a dumbass now, are ya!? I know what you're really like — you're just a dumbass tryna maintain your stupid facade!

Kaname: Do stop insulting me in such a loud voice, Sazanami, unless you'd like to be sued.

Jun: Oh, go ahead and try! If I'm pissin' ya off, go ahead and take me out with violence! Everyone around you’ll just take the side of the lil' goody Special Student anyway!

Jun: So bring it the fuck on! Don't hold back! No matter what kinda unreasonable suffering you Specials put me through, I won’t feel a thing!

Kaname: ... Fine, then why don't I give you exactly what you want?

You all, please do remove this idiot from our space. He's unpleasant to look at.

Jun: That's my damn line! Just a little while ago you were on the same level as me, y'know? Just a snivelling lil' crybaby brat!

Kaname: ... Forget about that. No, even if you don't, then I'll simply pretend it never happened in the first place.

I have the power to erase whatever I'd like now, after all.

No matter how much you might talk about those disgraceful days, not a single person will believe a word you say: they'll ignore you at every turn.

You and I are in very different standings, Sazanami.

Kaname: ... You have realized it by now, haven't you?

Reimei Academy is founded on irrationality. No matter how you may push your "righteous ideals" onto others, it's in vain.

While you're here, you're the one in the wrong. It's only by acknowledging it and allowing ourselves to be dyed in the hues of insanity that we can survive even a bit.

Understand that much, won't you?

Even now, I can't help but pity your reluctance to abandon that "individuality" of yours, Sazanami.

[ ☆ ]

✦✦✦✦✦

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[maibluemen]

ok while i'm working on which meta stuff i want to have on this blog, i do want to make a somewhat? detailed post on some name headcanons i have. so. some countries whose names i either tweak or change from the ones suggested by himaruya (arguably, there are no canon names. alfred is really the only one you could argue for lol)

🇷🇺 - ivan ivanovich morozov

hima doesn't give patronymics to the countries that would use them. ivanovich comes from ivan being very young and asked what his full name is, and the only male name he could think of was his own lol so he just stuck with it. and yes both sisters have teased him for this. morozov is derived from the russian word for "frost," which i find fitting; i wanted to find a non-jewish surname for him because i don't headcanon him as jewish and. of all the non-jewish countries to have a jewish surname.....well. no judgement on people who use braginsky and i doubt himaruya meant any harm or anything but yeah that's why i use a different surname for him lol

🇱🇹 - tolvydas jonas laurinaitis

shoutout to @hinotorihime who i believe was one of the first, if not the first person in the fandom to suggest tolys being a more accurate translation of トーリス (since japanese doesn’t distinguish between R/L sounds like indo-european languages do, and english doesn’t distinguish between I/Y the way lithuanian does, and tolys being an EXCEEDINGLY uncommon name, i don’t think “toris” is an unreasonable translation to have made after the game of language telephone from lithuanian->japanese-> english lol. トーリス would be directly transliterated like “to risu” for those unfamiliar with katakana. it’s worth noting that pixiv translates his character tag as “tolys”). uhh the source he gave me is a website that no longer exists and wasn't archived unfortunately, but "tolvydas" means something like "far seer" and tolys is a shortened form of it jonas is the name he added when he was finally baptized, and it's in reference to john the baptist anyway, here is an old post where she explains some name meanings!

🇪🇪 - eduard tamm

look i know eduard isn't really used in estonia but the guy simply gives off eduard vibes to me, sorry tamm, aside from being the most common surname, means "oak"

🇱🇻 - raivis bērziņš

bērziņš is, again, the most common surname and means "birch"

ed and raivis having the most common surnames in their countries i swear isn't me being lazy, i like the idea of all 3 baltics having tree names (laurinaitis referring to "laurel")

🇵🇱 - feliks mieczysław kazimierz łukasiewicz

who let the poles be catholic so. feliks has only been a name used in poland since around the 1800s? iirc, it was specifically brought over because of a fascination with french names but i might be wrong lol (and ultimately the origins of the name are latin, so variants of it are pretty old anyway). anyway. i've decided that his first name used to be mieczysław and he changed it around the time of the napoleonic wars to feliks, but kept the old name. kazimierz was chosen at his baptism and refers to st casimir, one of the many patron saints of poland (there's literally a wikipedia article dedicated to them all lol)

🐥 - gilbert maria beilschmidt

mary was just a hugely important aspect of gil's history as a knight (and the specific orders he represented also). he hasn't been catholic in centuries but he keeps maria in his legal name because that's his mom, guys

N. 🇮🇹 - felice luca veneziano

veneziano and romano being surnames (meaning "venetian" and "roman" respectively) i decided to just...assign the italy bros their uh. titles? as surnames. apparently siblings having separate surnames isn't unheard of for the nations lol, anyway. i thought it would be more fitting as i also headcanon that there's at least 20 italies (corresponding with each modern-day region though the actual history gets a bit messier, like my tuscany oc is more properly my florence oc.....that's another post, tho) and vene and romano represent. well. veneto (but originally venice) and lazio (but originally the city of rome...though i have yet to decide when he started representing rome because he's not an Ancient....anyway.....) felice being the italian variant of "felix" luca is a baptismal name referring to st luke, who is a patron of (amongst other things) artists

S. 🇮🇹 - lovino francesco romano

heh so lovino is in the category of not really a real name but i like it and have never really felt drawn to another name instead francesco refers to st francis of assisi who is hugely popular. well, in general. and is a patron of italy. i need to workshop some more headcanons about romano and religion because of....reasons lol, but this is definitely a name he took on relatively recently.

[yr-obedt-cicero]

You know, for a community that continually exhorts against glorifying historical figures because it shadows the realism that these were just people and not characters in a fairy tale—we don't really hold these ideals against our peers or ourselves. Idolizing big blogs that seem intimidating because they have more knowledge on a subject than you, or even because they're older, is similarly as false as idolizing historical figures. In fact, it's arguably a bit more flawed because it should be easier to acknowledge that those around you are just the same as you, contrary to the perception of historical figures that have been heroized for centuries. I get it, there is this form of alienation when behind the mask of your internet persona. But the reality is still perceptible that behind every blog is just a person. And even more so, they're not professionals or historians (Some are, but most aren't), they're not Big Important people with authority over you. Most of the time, they're just people sitting in their bedrooms with a laptop or phone. And they suck and make mistakes, just like you and I.

And I'm talking about my own blog too. As much as all the compliments and praise are sweet and good-natured, I realize how much people put me on this pedestal simply because I am knowledgeable about a topic. Anons have even frankly admitted they wished to interact with me but were too shy to, and I don't want to be intimidating, I've feared others before but have realized how ridiculous of a notion that is. I want people to see me as equal to anyone else with a passionate hobby. Because that's all this is. Don't get me wrong, the sweet compliments and gratitude toward my work make my day! But you can do that without thinking unreasonably highly of someone. And I mean this for yourselves as well. You run a blog where you've put your hard work, soul, sweat, and tears into it? Good for you, but that doesn't make you special, of course, you may know a lot but that doesn't mean you're worth or deserving more or less than anyone else.

There is a level of trust one can have with these blogs, I'm not saying the work means absolutely nothing. I know that if a blogger is more knowledgeable on a topic than another, I should probably go to the former for an answer. And that's understandable, but that isn't equated with respect or importance. Another issue with this is that it bars people from being more open-minded, it makes it harder for people to recognize and accept when someone they adulate is wrong. People make errors or can be wrong. And again, most of them aren't experts, so there is still a considerable chance they're going to be wrong. I've been wrong plenty of times, and it makes me feel lousy when I see my old inaccurate posts and many who are easily influenced just willingly take my word. So, another thing, do your own research too. Don't rely solely on someone's word, fact check things! You should do this with the biographies you read, you should do this with the posts you read. By this deification, so many just eat up whatever someone - they perceive as being higher in the respect hierarchy of the fandom - says as fact.

So, look, you can admire people. I'm not saying you can't, hell I admire plenty of blogs. But don't instill this superiority complex in your or their head that this person is holier-than-thou simply because they know more. A majority of these people aren't scholars or professionals. They might be more proficient or knowledgeable in a subject, but none of that is analogous to eminence or respect. Stop with this celeb treatment, you shouldn't adulate the people in front of you just as you shouldn't towards people who died two hundred years ago.

[postive-rainworld-anarchy-conf]

I came here to defend azriel after a friend told me about this blog of supporters, but like.. after seeing everything here and taking a closer look at the doc fuck There is no grooming in the document, just stray inappropriate messages between two ppl that were clearly familiar with eachother prior to a massive fallout. I'm honestly baffled that I didn't pick up on that. If what happened to azriel counts as grooming, then any conversation that unintentionally sways in an uncomfortable direction is grooming. and that's fucking.. unreasonable. I can't stand behind that.

oh, huh welcome to the club I guess?

but yeah, don't feel bad about being fooled into believing this stuff. like think about and reflect on why you did, but beating yourself up will get you nowhere, and there is already enough suffering in the world.

the most you can really do is well, just do better next time.

personally I'd suggest next time something like this happens, and you feel like you might be getting on a bandwagon, ask yourself these questions.

what actual evidence is there? basically is there anything you can definitely proved actually happened

is this person using intentionally scary language to make me stop thinking? words like "grooming" "zoophile", and "rape" often make people worried that they might've supported someone who's a bad person, and while this might not be a sign that things aren't as they seem, things like using therapy language incorrectly is (though this could also just be someone who doesn't know this kind of stuff, and is trying to express their experience).

why would this person being revealing this. allegations like 'this person groomed me' are very serious. and take a long and arduous time to sort through. so do they want closure, retribution or something else?

how are we getting the information? if you have a good point, the best way to share is is clearly and concisely. so that people know the facts and can decide for themselves. however if you have a point that falls after a bit of scrutiny, it's much better to give it piece by piece, say you'll reveal more later (like for example, saying you're working on a document, that'll show everything, and then not release it for months. even better if you just move on from the situation without releasing it.) but also things like making a big announcement about something and when people ask for proof, sending a video of you quickly scrolling through discord messages is a great way to get people to just not read it or basically just read the highlights. I mean I didn't read it and I think alot of people just assumed it proved something.

now of course this is just some basic suggestions for later allegations that come up, and it's key to remember that just because this one was fake, doesn't mean all of them are. listen to the people who say they are hurt, hear what they have to say.

but don't accept everything they say as gospel. look into it more.

shit like the johnny depp and amber heard situation happens if you just instantly assume someone is lying. (though this was also fueled by sexism) you end up with people getting hurt more than they needed to.

same is true for the opposite.

like before I reached the conclusion that this was a false allegation, I didn't say anything, and instead looked through everything, finding things like pansear's document, and reading through it, and then I drew my own opinion.

hope your having a good day though! I'm glad you can realize that you were wrong, that's alot more than most people can say.

[dearweirdme]

There is a former (I guess?) blog that seems more upset about the recent bangtan bomb than some jkkrs. So they are really committed to saying that JK was annoyed and "dead eyed" at Tae. I think objectivity and even criticism can be healthy for a fandom. But this just seems like a really awkward way to try and justify their own cynicism about TK. Their whole vibe is weird. They say they don't believe but they talk and theorize about TK just as much as a TK blog. Except its under the guise of being some "voice of reason". So they seem to be particularly pissy when something comes along to disprove their whole angle.

Hi anon!

Well I really don't know where they get the 'dead eyed and annoyed' from. that is not my interpretation of that footage at all.

I think it's a good thing when people dare to go against fandom narratives. I mean, there is a lot of nonsense going around, so skepticism, objectivity and criticism are good things. What I have personally found tough at times is when people try to push me into going alog with a certain narrative (like seriously, the shit I got for saying I think the Paris walk was really them was kinda weird). People having different opinions is a good thing, and none of us actually know what the entire truth is. It gets a bit problematic when people start being nasty and degrading to people with different opinions though. Calling onesself a "voice of reason" is a bit... meh to me. Who is to decide what reason is in this case anyway? To some the idea of two persons of the same sex being together is unreasonable for instance.

There have been several narratives going around for quite a while... one of them being the "Jk is dismissive of Tae" one. There's a lot of accounts that really went for that one. To me it looks as though they have at one point decided that that was going to be their angle, and they now just always see Tae and Jk's interactions in that light. Why? No clue. Everyone interprets situations with their own set of experiences in mind. So who knows what that specific account's experience (with fandom, or in private) had been to come with this narrative. I know Taennie hit some people hard, I know the Jk vids hit some hard, we all just try and make sense of things in our own way.

Whatever you think of their relationship though, I absolutely disagree with the "Jk is dismissive of Tae" narrative. The love he has for Tae is absolutely there and I think many take Jk's "holding back" as something he does because he doesn't care for Tae as much, when I think it's more likely he's holding back at times because he cares so much.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

On the topic of fem fortress, I agree and disagree. For the record I fall under the trans umbrella myself as well and I used the have the same opinion. You are entitled to your opinion of course but calling gender swapped art transphobic is a little too much. My problem with gender swapped art is if they make the female version without wrinkles or without the same body type. If you want to draw the mercs as trans that is totally fine and awesome but again calling people transphobic for drawing vid versions of characters sounds like a little bit of projection no offence. If someone were to draw me as a gender swapped version of me as cis personally I wouldn’t care. And again I’m only talking for me here but calling someone transphobic over something as small as this is taking away from actually transphobia that us real living people have to deal with. I don’t think I’ll change your mind and that’s ok with me. I hope you’ll at least consider this point of view. Love your blog and I hope you have a nice day.

Anon I genuinely do not want to be mean but like. do you know how to read? Nowhere in that post do I say "all genderbent art is transphobic" and I specifically disclaim that I do NOT think that because I KNEW this was the kind of reaction I would get. I can't help but feel like you are either intentionally or unintentionally misrepresenting what I said in order to make my critique sound more outlandish and unreasonable and craaaaaazy and thus easier to disagree with than it is, which is something that Always fucking happens to me whenever I talk about transphobia as a trans person, biphobia as a bi person, racism as a Latino person, etc, someone misrepresenting my argument to make me look like an oversensitive "triggered" idiot for even daring to see bigotry in something "small". I understand that YOU might feel comfortable with people whose genderbent art is like "the thing that makes this character a man is that he was born with a penis and ascribes to all cis standards of 'masculinity' and the thing that makes my new genderbend a woman is that she was born with a vagina and ascribes to all cis standards of 'femininity'" but I don't! I would not want someone to "genderbend" me and make me cis! I do not think it "takes away from 'REAL' transphobia" (whatever that means, transphobia in media and fiction is still transphobia and still affects people in real life) to say that "associating the gender of a character with the 'biological sex' of that character is cissexist" and/or "showing that you have 'genderbent' a 'male' character by making them ascribe more heavily to 'female' beauty standards is not just transphobic but misogynistic" (MASSIVE FUCKING PROBLEM with "fem fortress" designs, since when is Medic tf2 thin and petite or since when does Sniper tf2 wear makeup and a crop top and since when do either of them not have any wrinkles), that's like. completely normal media critique. I know that a lot of my followers enjoy "fem fortress" and I have tried to be as nice as I can about my critiques of SOME VERSIONS of it because of this, but like you need to be able to take critique of things that you enjoy. Nowhere do I say "all genderbend art is transphobic" but it seems like people are rejecting that for "no genderbend art is transphobic" which is just objectively untrue. I enjoy tf2 and I am able to make and take critiques of it, especially things like its portrayal of women characters (or lack thereof), but not everyone can. I would like to be able to talk about misogyny, biphobia, racism, or transphobia within this game and/or its fandom just once without someone inevitably coming to tell me "it's not that bad and you're just overreacting". I guess I'm not saying you have to agree with me but maybe try actually listening to what I say and not knee-jerk react like this bc I lightly criticized something you enjoy (which I have even praised in other posts, wouldn't you know! I think fem fortress is fun!)

[pretty-demiboy]

TW: Sort-Of Transphobia

this is a lot less light-hearted than my usual posts but i needa vent somewhere and my other blog is more bleh sooo...

idk, i was jst thinking bout terfs, transphobes and my mother today as well as jst a lot in general cause my mum and i have been having... well, not rlly conversations, more like her saying 'oh ur my daughter, always have been' and me being too scared of conflict to disagree with her. she knows what i am and all, like im out, but yk how it is with parents. they are passive-aggressive, love the old u too much and can think of rlly gaslight-y/guilt-trippy arguments. today she sent me a ss of an article explaining the origin of my deadname and sorta hyped it up with a caption along the lines of 'love u my little shapeshifter' (for context my deadname is a goddess who shapeshifts which like BADASS but also yk) and ik its like i shouldnt even be complaining about it cause she's not abusive and loves me and all but like... idk. it felt bad. she's more accepting than my dad but still yk having a transgender child is hard. she doesnt want her baby girl to rlly be a boy, and she's a non-aggressive terf and shit. idek if ill be demi for the rest of my life, its prolly jst a phase and shit cause i dont get much dysphoria but its still pretty upsetting in a way. i mean, i got into an argument w/ my sis abt micro-aggressions and whether or not they're harmful and i didnt explain it vry well (my sis is also openly transphobic despite being bi) and like it started when i tried to tell my lil bro not to say smt abt women, idk it was like stereo-typing or smt like that but he's only seven and i wanna help him grow up to be accepting unlike the kids in my school, but my sis... well. yk. and it sucked that i couldnt put into words how harmful micro-aggressions are without her making me feel fking sensitive or smt, and it sucked when my mam and stepdad acted like i was making a fuss over nothing, when its not nothing, its my whole fucking life. but my sis acts like im being a child cause yk, transphobic, like our dad, so. idk, its jst rlly fking shitty. i thought i was accepting of my identity but ppl keep making me second guess myself and my beliefs concerning basic human rights. it sucks so much. i shouldnt feel afraid of even expressing my opinion that trans women arent predators, or feel scared to tell my mam that atm i am a boy (technically i am, i think she'd have a stroke if i tried to explain what demi is xD) despite her being prolly the most supportive person in my close family. ppl shouldnt have to feel this way abt literally the most basic part of their identity. its jst not fair, and it sucks. idw feel like idw be queer, cause being queer is beautiful and the community is amazing, but sometimes i jst get so fking tired, and thats w/ me being in a lot more accepting family and community than most ppl. if i wasnt demi & biromantic i wouldnt be me, and i know that for sure, but sometimes i cant help but think of how easy it would b to jst be cishet, at least for shit like this. its pride month and i cant even b proud of who i am rn. its easy when im w/ my friends or watching an ot/click/jamie vid, but when im alone or w/ my family i jst... i hate it sm. if i wasnt queer, maybe a lot of my problems wld go away. if i wasnt queer, maybe id feel accepted at school and w/ family. if i wasnt queer, maybe id love myself a little bit more.

idk, its jst fking hard, especially when ppl say the lgbtqia+ community is like being unreasonable or dramatic or some bullshit like that, when they dont have to feel everything that we feel on a daily fucking basis. ive been so lucky with me being bi (practically everyone in my family is accepting of lgb) its jst my gender and asexuality thats causing problems, and if i cant even handle a little bit of discrimination that isnt even real discrimination, i cant imagine what its like for ppl in aggresively homophobic and transphobic environments. it makes me want to kms and hms when i think of all the ppl getting treated less than human or sinners or anything like that jst cause they arent smt that they are supposedly born to be... god, fking terfs and bigots make me sick, man. even the gaslighting and micro-aggressions are jst so disgusting. im so sorry to everyone dealing with discrimination. i wish i could help u somehow. i wld do anything to make this shit stop. jst know that i and others in our community love you so much even if atm it seems like no one else does.