#i get the weirdest looks whenever i tell people what i think abt myself. when i tell people i think on some spiritual leveli might be dead

[miamicommune]

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[woolieshubris]

5, 8, 12, 15, 19, 20, 22, 27, 29, 33, 34, 42, 49 >:)

Feel free to pick any 5 of these you wanna answer if there are too many!!! I’m just 👁👁 Looking ☺️

5) What do you wish more ppl knew abt autism? I wish people knew about what it ACTUALLY means, because I feel like there are a lot of misconceptions. Autistic characters on TV often don't help either cuz they dont usually explain what it actually is, but show a few vague traits. 8) If you have any, what are your special interests? Learning new things? Can that be one? I like to spend hours learning weird softwares and how to do extremely unuseful skills, such as hacking a 3ds, or learning live2d 12) Do you headcanon any characters as autistic? If you want, tell us why you headcanon them autistic. WAYYY TOO MANY. But my weirdest hc is link from botw! I just think hes neat + I like to play where he speaks the least possible and runs from everything. One of my favorite things in games is to see how far i can stretch mysterious silent protag, which I feel tends to lend itself to autistic characterization. 15) Have you ever recieved any accommodations for your autism in either school or work? Yes, I recently got my 504 done along with my Dx :) some of my accommodations mean I skip school assemblies and that teachers generally need to give me written instructions, because verbal ones I have a hard time remembering and keeping up with. 19) What kinds of things are sensory hell for you? School Assemblies, crowds when I am with a group (usually people I'm supposed to be watching) and many tourist attractions !! I get stressed out when strangers try to talk to me, so some clothes stores or any store where the attendees get money off commission is totally off limits to me basically. 20) What kinds of things are good sensory wise? I'm choosing to interpret this as "sensory heaven"? Dry rice/beans are really comforting to stick my hand in, typing on a computer is fun, and petting my birds. Also listening to music I know super well is fun! Listening to familiar music is one of my favorite active defenses against meltdowns. I often listen to music in one ear almost all of the time whenever I'm outside of my room. 22) Would you say you are proud to be autistic? I am much more open about it online than I am in my personal life, and that's mostly due to me masking very well. Most of the time, people cannot even tell when I'm distressed. I wouldn't say I'm proud or really ashamed. I feel more like I just am lol. 27) Do you have any vocal stims or echolalia? I normally don't due to masking, however cuz of covid times, I picked up the stim of any time I'm asked a question, I look at my bird n ask him what he thinks of it. I think my parents find it super annoying lol. 29) Are your friends/family accepting of your autism? I think so? But also people in my family and also some of my friends just literally don't understand it at all lol. They accept it because they have to, but I don't think they understand anything about autism other than misconceptions they've read and some people they've met. 33) Foods you are sensitive to (maybe because of bad texture for instance)? Fish,, sadly. I want to like fish really bad, but I cannot :( I don't know what it is. I also don't like soups. Only having liquids for a meal messes w/ my gut. 34) Do you enjoy hugs? Or are they sensory hell? No lol, I kind of hate hugs. I think it's mostly because I was forced to do them my entire life, than the sensory part. If I was given a choice to hug as a kid, rather than it being forced on me (quite literally sometimes) then I think I'd like it a lot more. 42) Tell us something about your special interest. I recently got a DS emulator working on my 3ds so I can play any DS game I want on it!! :) 49) What's something you find hard to do because of autism? My brain has a hard time differentiating between whining and sticking up for myself? Like I don't know what is stupid and what isn't? So I basically cannot stand up for myself or speak out about things that are bothering me. Same thing with differentiating between a normal request and something selfish. I just cannot do it. It's really difficult to explain to NT's tho, and they often r like

"noooo you cannot ask for too much from me :)))" which like, Lol I don't think you realize what kind of floodgates you are opening. Thank you for the questions <3

[dreamerology]

my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

[sxdomy]

All numbers

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? not @ all3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? tissues, napkins, sticky notes, random cuts of notebook paper4: how do you take your coffee/tea? two-four sugars w creamer or 1/2 n 1/2 (tea)5: are you self-conscious of your smile? not after i got braces6: do you keep plants? no7: do you name your plants? 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? idk the only art i do is in photography, and i try to do dark/spooky shit.. it doesnt have a meaning9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? i dont rly have a friends group, less drama that way12: what's your favorite planet? smth has always intrigued me abt mars13: what's something that made you smile today? lars (:14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idc it's somewhere to live.. we can fix it up if we have the money. if so, i would prob have a bunch of shit everywhere lmao15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it says language programming ??16: what's your favorite pasta dish? some plain old penne/rigatoni w red gravy, but it has to be GOOD red gravy .. none of that ragu/preggo shit17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? black and it already is dyed that color, but i do want to experiment a bit and get few pieces red18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. JESUS.. these are endless... once i RLY had to pee, and i was @ school. it was after school hrs. my friend and i were waiting for the game to start. all the doors were locked up @ the school. i think they took out the portapotty from outside, so i said to my friend, "let's go to the lower field" (we have an upper and lower field idk what other schools have lmao) despite it saying there are cameras down there (which IK for sure bc i've seen the computer w the school cameras, and there are ones surveilling the fields), i peed. in 8th grade during lunch, this girl pissed me the fuck off. i can't remember what she did, but i picked up her sandwich and threw it to the ground.another time in 8th grade during gym, my friends and i were fooling around during a fitness walk (walk thru the trail surrounded by woods oooo). i was yelling "IN DA GREENZ" bc i was a rly weird kid, and now we bring it up whenever we see bushes. OKAY lasT memORYYY in 8th grade, i was on the soccer team. i sucked @ it... the ball was coming to me, and i tried to kick it. instead of kicking it, my foot went on top of the ball resulting in my fall19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i used to keep a journal. last winter was the most recent journal i'd had, and my guidance counselor purchased it for me. i was going thru a rly hard time, and it was an outlet from that. after the winter ended, i never felt the need to write in it again.. it hasnt gotten that bad20: what's your favorite eye color? lars' eye color21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. 22: are you a morning person? depends... if my sleeping schedule is just like that, I LOVE WAKING UP IN THE MORNING. if i don't usually, then no fuck it lmao23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? literally nothing, but i do that when i have obligations... i get to it @ some point24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? lars25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? i've broken into my friend's house and my own. breaking into my friend's house wasn't rly that weird. i was out of it bc i had hardly gotten sleep the previous night. i also had permission lmao it wasn't as if i just went in. my friend had forgotten her key. breaking into my own house was actually bizarre ...26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i usually wear my docs, but i switch out. before getting my docs, i wore my all black vans W LITERALLY EVERYTHING. the only time i wouldnt was when i wore a light outfit, which wasnt often bc 98% of the time i wear all black27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? i don't chew gum. it has aspartame, which is literally poison28: sunrise or sunset? i haven't seen a sunset since i was a child, and i want to definitely see it again29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? monty is my lover30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. socks are good. if you wear them in the cold months around the house, you are less susceptible to sickness. they also work well when you wear them w most shoes bc they prevent sweat. lars take notes (; i love wearing weird socks. i love socks. i usually never match socks bc no one will see them?? if i wear a black sock, i try to match w another black sock tho. i do sleep w socks in the cold months. otherwise, my feet would freeze. sometimes i wear multiple socks in the summer to keep my feet warm. i do wear white socks sometimes32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. i wasn't w my friends, but i found a drunken man in my rm after 3am on st. patricks day two yrs ago33: what's your fave pastry? cannoli34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept this one stuffed animal who was a girl. she had blonde braids, and i used to kiss her on the lips when no one was looking. i knew it was weird bc she wasn't real. i also used to pretend i was fucking her... it was a weird childhood. idk where she is now35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I LOVE PENS!!!! okay im going to sound like a weirdo.. i only love certain kinds. i hate cheap ass pens. my fav pens are the ones that u click on the bottom to get the tip bc the clicking helps me concentrate. it's also fun to just click it. i haven't used a clicky one in awhile bc i bought myself pentels. i love pentels as well bc they come in nice colors, and i rly like the cap for it. i like pens that come from certain companies bc it looks like i've been somewhere.. maybe i have? i've gotten free pens from places and some of them i just found w that lettering lmao 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? nine inch nails (:37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? dont care as long as ik where everything is. my parents call it messy, but i call it my peace38: tell us about your pet peeves! i hate when ppl put things back where they don't belong. idk i dont keep track of this shit39: what color do you wear the most? black40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? none41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? 1984 by george orwell42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks LMAO43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? no one44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? the last time i was w lars45: do you trust your instincts a lot? yes46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. idk47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? high fructose corn syrup48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? idr what it was then, but now it's getting raped.. ive had this fear since i was 14 i think49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? i dont usually buy that shit50: what's an odd thing you collect? wristbands.. i like to say i've been places51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? lars , peach // the front bottoms52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? the yr just started, bUT I LOVE IAN'S (IDUBZZZZ) VIDEO OF "I HAVE CRIPPLING DEPRESSION"53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i want to see rocky horror picture show. i've seen heathers, beetlejuice, and pulp fiction. i love heathers and beetlejuice. i didn't understand pulp fiction entirely, but that could be bc i was spammed by a gc while watching it54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? idk56: what are some things you find endearing in people? smile57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? i never realized that this song sounds like five mini songs put together... i did reenact them in my head58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? nonexistent lol59: what's your favorite myth? black eyed children60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? anything from edgar allan poe61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? idk i hate getting gifts i'd rather give them, but i don't usually give them bc i never have money when it's time62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? ORANGE!63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? no64: what color is the sky where you are right now? grey65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? lars66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i have SAD soooo68: what's winter like where you live? FUCKING HORRIBLE, but it's worse in other places69: what are your favorite board games? ive been missing guess who? lately70: have you ever used a ouija board? no, but my math teacher says u have to make it from a certain wood and put a spell on it for it to work... too much work 😩71: what's your favorite kind of tea? lipton lemon!!!!!72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? i try to note everything down, but sometimes i can remember things w/o writing them down73: what are some of your worst habits? staying in bed for too long74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. bye75: tell us about your pets! i have a dog, and she's old af lmao i never rly liked her idk i hate dogs76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? homework and probably calling up my new job to see when i have to go in.. cant be arsed.. 77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? FANCLUB!!! (:79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?lars gave me cute cat headphones80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white.. i didn't choose it81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i can't rn82: are/were you good in school? i made it into university, so i guess so83: what's some of your favorite album art? the devin n god are raging inside of me // brand new .. cant think of many in particular84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? one in remembrance of my friend who died and a full sleeve85: do you read comics? what are your faves? no86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YES YES YESSSS MANSON 'S CONCEPTS R SO GOOD (: 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? idk88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i just rly like frida kahlo89: are you close to your parents? no90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. i want to visit/live in philly so badly ):91: where do you plan on traveling this year? texas92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i only put a little fresh mozz on it if there is quite a bit93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? i just wear my hair the same everyday94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? lars95: what are your plans for this weekend? none96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? omfg i had 20 or so awaiting updates last summer that i had to finally do bc it was fucking up my computer97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? what98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont hike99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. NOBODY'S PERFECT BY HANNAH MONTANA100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 yrs into the future.. why would i want to relive the last 5 yrs of life ?? idk im just fine living w my past mistakes.. they've shaped me

[lexidem-blog]

dreams: parallel universes. kinda like a video game; each level was a crazier world. one was this beautiful pastel gradient one w/ these tall beautiful alien ladies bouncing on big pastel spheres. then i used the taxi service which was run by “kind demons” and u had to tell them which hill to take u to and then they just appeared and u were there but everything was fuzzy and dark blue and it took about two seconds n u were dropped off and took a few minutes to be conscious again. giant phone book full of hill names. bag w/ it as bottom. xbox game theif rides in a tropical place. paddle to the other side of the lagoon and then there was a ride i’m little boats w/ like half real half plastic ducks on it. running into the ocean but it was really hot water i was at a family party in a huge backyard and there were sooooo many dogs!! but then it was june and cold and ppl were trying to swim a dream that adele michaela madi and taylor kept being rly rly rude and then were acting like i was being ridiculous for being upset. carol was angry then agreed with them. adele would ignore me whenever i spoke. then later taylor apologized and said i was right n we were in a relationship so it was like back in high school and she made out w/ me and then i was like “ur straight” and told her abt her future and she was like no way i’m in love w/ u n i was like yea but ur straight in the future lol jordan skype showing me t-shirt’s all ugly she was annoyed in big weird space hbd mackenzie emoji straight to 😎 from ❤ lily frankle loook for vid dt n amusement park makeup skipping laughing feet in holes. racing game grandmom real cars. purple mascara. til mirror. lots of tickets. amy talking about marriages florence across table “knew you’d choose jordan” told her i didn’t choose her two dreams about florence’s parents checking in on me & one miimz checking i wouldn’t kill myself but angrily hours: 9 big confusing party was cuddling two girls then graduation but swim i got low place in figures b/c it was split into junior senior but one award set. then hiding but it was m n okay but then they like lost it b/c i held them too tight cuddling. also video games chris beds idk. then i think chris was antagonist. two submarines battling. kept shrinking ourselves but we were inside antagonists lair n breaking all the like dinosaur skeletons. halloween costumes mom orange wig. downstairs laundry  washing bloodstained gown using bar soaps scrubbing. surrounded by half dead little girls doing same woke up in a cold sweat i couldn’t shake b/c all the blankets are cold n damp too. very long dream moving to africa to study abroad. still don’t know what country in africa. started by visiting to see if i’d like it disney style thing could see coronado springs. stranger things kids? then was home n there was maybe gonna be a storm so i was gonna miss my flight but made it. iphone has stopped working so was using my env3 but then phone started working. michaela and other swim ppl were there again saw her friend got bad vibes she got annoyed and i said all her friends still give off mean popular kid vibes. purple lit tunnel after long security/suitcase weird stuff. took like 7 different flights to get to the right country. u could see soooooo many stars and a huge planet and it was on the sea n there were so many mountains. then i had one i was at this place on rollerckatser w/ these girls from a glasgow band and they wanted to be my friend. the one was vegan and knew like ellie’s friends. then i was in this shop thing then a hut and some guy was fingering me and everyone was like “no that’s their job” these like beautiful ethereal women that lived in the water next to the shop. then i lived w/ han n cal n ppl and was tucking them into bed n we were having vegan food n wine also a part w/ a trick where id be chained in the middle of this part and tricked other ppl into me being set free n then ran to find a bus but they were all taking ages then bethany was there more cold sweat 13 hours don’t remember which night. started in moms house and kept feeling stressed. was w/ other ppl and went in an elevator kept checking around each corner. turned out main characters sister was villain and had made it so every time u went in a different room u went into this disorienting like parallel universe and back. walked towards evil sisters hub and hid in jewelry store that was closed for the night. could make self invisible. turned out sister had made eating meat a requirement for her followers? i (main character now?) revealed that she was evil and everything was okay. scaffolding ? climbing. something about a little boy (my child?) none. two hours sleep. i was in a little shelter and held a teeny tiny baby german shepard and pet an american eskimo but their fur was v matted. i was on my moms street and taylor and i were laying down and holding hands and men kept being like “ooooh”. then we were at a party and it was the weirdest mix of people in this weird space that looking back seems maybe. spacestationy? idk how else to describe it. but then i went to the kitchen and it was p normal but like huge and american and laura was there and she was being v sweet as usual and i was talking about baking and left to go to this other meet up thing. these 3 people there wanted me to make them v specific huge drawings in chalk pastel. one of the people was michael from IT who wanted it to be of his one professor and he had a photo of him in his pocket in an envelope. we were about to clean up the cakes n all but then i remembered i needed to grab stuff from this other stall (they were in like fair-esque stalls) and the lady in charge gave me the key and it was like this old cottage and when i went inside i felt like. suffocated. b/c it was rly hot and stuffy. but grabbed my stuff (two stone carvings of giraffes, two of a smaller animal, and two of lions that i realized were poorly done w/ the mane so i was like oh man i’m gonna put fur over them to fix the manes) they were v heavy and i held them in my shirt folded up like a child. the one girl kept saying she needed the chalk pastel thing by tomorrow n i was stressed 10 hrs. i was back w/ florence n hanging w/ her and miimz and we were all v happy very stressful. one w/ big bridge. driving. one w firefly patrol jordan replied. i was rly angry. also she cut her hair soooo short went to cheesecake factory. they said i couldn’t eat alone. was like wow i gotta tell marte at a play w/ like alice. walking down the stairs. colonial british men. teal set on stage. had to go to bathroom. amy and leah woke up and if rainbow reflected mckenzie room plants  then on bed w/o her and tab but pad all over the bed trump was paying me to meet up gave me £700 florence mom debt angry dorney water park uber 2 stars

Brie