#i get the appeal but i dont really read fanfic that much anymore so im just. staring in horror

[vampiiric]

ihope ao3 down forever <3

[semi-imaginary-place]

umineko more ep6-7

Author really should have made like shannon 19 and george 21. "Think of all the children we'll have" the 23 year old says to the 16 year old.

The two genders: attack and defense.

God damn kyrie. She was going to murder asumu. And the worst part is that rudolph doesn't deserve her devotion. Kyrie deserves a better man. she deserves someone who won't cheat on her. Kyrie deserves someone for whom she's their first pick not their second. She deserves someone who values her intellect, efficiency, and strategic genius. Kyrie deserves someone who recognizes that she's the coolest person ever. She deserves someone who doesn't make her wait 18 years.

Wow past episodes about people fighting the system to avoid killing each other and now jessica, george, and battler are killing the family members. Now that i think about it has battler met the other beatrice with ber hair down the big sister?

Lol battler fell for it again. This is how he ends up in a shotgun marriage huh.

I never really liked the romance in this story to begin with (or romances in general). George shannon jessica kanon all bore and annoy me i'd be happy if i hadn't wasted time reading their scenes. But at least beatrice and battler were interesting tearing into each other and now i dont even have that. New chick beatrice dropped any interest i had in the pair off a cliff. Like what was interesting was beatrice having fun being evil and bullying battler that sort of heated back and forth (also femdom). And now that back and forth dynamic is with erika and beatrice is narratively reduced to an accessory for battler. Not even sure i like the story anymore but im like 2/3 though the game so maybe i'll finish it for the sake of finishing it. The romances really are getting in the way of my enjoyment.

Between the love game and the marriage plot point fe... the author witch is a shitty trope fanfic author. Wow this is bad. I hate it here. Really marriage is a ball and chain to tke the ring. This is really stupid.

Mother???? Beatrice was created to love battler split from another beatrice. I know the author is doing like a fated lovers thing but i'm a hard sell on this trope it easily has unsettling implications. Like that beatrice was raised specifically to appeal to and to be battler's wife. Also what is uo with the flashback i'm guess those are battler's forgotten memories brought up a few episodes ago.

Given how much kanon refers to shanin as his big sister this is just more evidence the author forgot shannon is 16 and the same age as kanon. She's consistently treated by the narrative as older than 16. Also if kanon has been a servant aince he was aix why didnt he meet jessica until they were teenagers

there's so many beatrices in this story.... So uh older and younger "sisters" fused? But if one was made new from the rules to love battler and the other is the embodiment of rokenjima urban legends then neither of them remember the first 3 episodes and the time actually spent bonding with battler.

16 people info drop so besides kinzo someone else is already dead?

Ep7: ug is beatrice dead again this is like the 4th time. Guess she needs to be saved. Again. Lion??? Alright whose fanfiction self insert power fantasy oc is it this time. (Really not even Leon, it's Lion). Uhhhhhh kinzo got even worse??? Like the incest implications are back. that kumadorian beatrice was the daughter of og gold kinzo beatrice. Like the grooming is the minimum. It's been listed several times that beatrice's distinguishing characteristics are her blue eyes and blond hair and lion is right there probably about 19 years old which also fits the secret baby. The incest is layered what is this fire emblem. Lion's an incest baby poor guy. Ewwww. The incest. The grooming. The way beatrice 2 was acting (the one rosa met). I support ep1 beatrice's torture murder mission. Wait that makes Beatrice and battler also incest-y just not the predatory type this time. Of course beatrice seems to be a multi entity being rather than a single individual person. Could still do without the incest flavoring tho. Who hired will again i forgot.

Kinzo telling the epic love story of how he cheated on his wife and kids. Mussolini fascist gold. This whole story is from kinzo's perspective so who knows what their actual relationship was but even if og italian beatrice and kinzo were in love she did essentially end up imprisoned on an isolated island as a married dude's dirty secret in a foreign land. Guuuurl you should have run to argentina just like all the other fascist Italians and germans. Kinzo's 40?? Also he kept fucking his wife even after meeting beatrice.

Ok lion gender icon. So in this fragment Beatrice 2 kinzo incest baby was pushed by natsuhi but nanjo saved it, then raised as Yasu, a servant. Yasu started at 6 as a servant and was said to be the only servant so young and that this never happens. But what about kanon and shanon who were said to have started 10 years ago at 6, are they not real??? And shanon shows up older in yasu's childhood so why's there 2 shanons? If yasu/beatrice3 is both shanon and kanon then that... Fits actually but it's soooo fucked because then every single ushiromiya cousin (minus ange) in romancing a beatrice who is also their cousin/auncle. Umineko once again has my head reeling. That would explain the 16 people is kanin and shanon are the same person and also the secret 19th person. Takes the role of beatrice in the fragment they're accepted by natsuhi, but also natsuhi assumes they're a young man in ep... 5? I'm assuming based on the baby's sex. Also the successor to kinzo in the fragment where they're raised by natsuhi and unlike jessica lion is refered to the successor not their future husband. Also kinzos a misogynist. Also when asked their gender by will, lion is like lol no. Not that i think any of the ushiromiya adults would be trans allies. The best supported interpretation so far is that lion was intended for the role of the woman beatrice but performs gender and lives in a masculine role. They're assigned male at birth but choose androgyny and live beyond rigid manhood. Imagine being such a chad that you're transfem and transmasc at the same time. And the stakes are maids.

And then yasu made themself beatrice! I always did wonder are gaap's clothes glued to her? Yasu made a witchsona! I'm still a bit confused but yasu rewrote reality so shannon is the servant shell left behind, white beatrice is them living her best life, and kanon is miserable wet cat boymode. Yup the incest is layered. All the ushiromiya cousins are romancing... uh aspects(?) of the same hivemind entity. I never really liked the romance in this story but yeah umineko totally lost me. For how central the theme of love is, this romance sucks.

George does not act 7 years older than shannon and 5 more than jessica and battler. Like in the scenes reminiscing about their childhood they all feel much closer is age. Wait so is shanon separate from white beatrice or no. Im confused. Also umineko is showing its long development cycle you can tell the author is moving on to new ideas. The tone has changed as this has become a story of outlandish witches. The author in ep 7 (6 too i think battler reads 100 books a year) writers battler as a mystery novel enthusiast while in ep 1 (and 2?) battler seemed unfamiliar with the mystery genre and it's conventions and tropes. SHANNON AND WHITE BEA ARE ...from(?) the same person! because battler promised that he would come for shannon's answer next year and then he never came and when he did he didn't mention it! And that was the forgotten promised gold beatrice despaired and lost her will to live over. And shannon was wanted to promise the rest of her life to him.(Also the incest is inescapable as someone else says "3/4 kinzo").

[gay-country-fangames]

please lets not be shitty

tws for talk of racism, eugen/cs, n*zis, slavery, genocide, etc. read at your own risk but please be aware this message is important. so this isnt specifically related to hetagames but its related to hetalia and i think its important that everyone hear it again just to be sure. im going to shelve my rabid persona for a minute because this is super important and a super serious thing.

making hetalia OCs or 2ps or personifying characters based off of problematic time periods from their history is not okay.

some examples include: -n*zi germany this is so wrong for so many obvious reasons everyone should know by now but for the sake of the post im gonna go into detail a lilbit. so many people were killed and both physically and mentally tortured during this time period, a large group being jewish people. during this time period german schools taught eugen/cs to their children which was a  h i g l y  racist concept. n*zis basically hated everyone that wasnt a blonde blue eyed ‘pure blood’ german. everyone else deserved to die according to them, and thats just.... not something that you make an anime boy about? like no. please. -civil war era america/the confederacy/the confederate states of america this one some people seem to think is okay for??? some goddamn reason??? no??? okay i know a lot of non-americans might not understand what exactly the civil war was so here we go heres a very watered down explanation. once upon a time there was slavery in america. we all know that. but at one point the public opinion shifted to thinking ‘hmm, maybe slavery is actually really fukin gross and bad? hey lets pass a law to ban slavery.’ and the southern states went ‘wait no we like slavery.’ and they went and said ‘this law would violate our constitutional right to states rights. we should be able to choose whether or not each state has laws against slavery!’ which is bs by the way they just wanted to keep owning slaves but they called it a violation of states rights so they could start a war over this shit. so then the south decided to form the confederacy and then they declared war on the north to try and break away n have their ‘right’ to own slaves. by the way this wasnt just a buncha racists fighting for their right to own people a lot of them also made their slaves fight in the war. so black people were being forced to fight for their own enslavement. lovely. spoiler alert they lost hella bad and the emancipation proclamation was signed which helped pave the way for black people to be free. the confederacy through its entire short life stood for nothing but slavery and racism and that is  n o t  something that its okay to make an anime boy out of okay please stop this.

-Communist Russia okay look. look. stop what youre going to say and read this. okay? okay. yes i know himaruya kind of wrote about this already. no that does not make it okay. hes human just like anyone else and hes realized his problems and faults and doesnt write that shit anymore. and even if he hadnt thats no excuse. even if he had kept making it that wouldnt make it okay. creators arent perfect and everything they do isnt automatically moral. popular people do stupid insensitive shit all the time and they have to be held accountable for it. anyway if you really need to be told why communist russia isnt good ‘uwu anime boy’ fodder then you really need to read a history book. but in short; genocide. mass starvation of their own people. imperialism. etc. bad shit. lets not.

-Mafia AU Romano okay this isnt really a time period perse but it felt like it belonged on the list so i put it on. its my list i can add what i want. so anyway ive seen southern italian people express blatant discomfort with this before, and from what i remember it stems from both racism and classism to a certain extend and thats just.... uncomfy. i get the appeal of a mafia au ok some people find crime hot but if its blatantly making people uncomfortable then id suggest you stop. other peoples comfort is more important than your fanfic. just make some generic crime lord au or summ instead idk it dont have to be the mafia all the time an it dont have to be romano all the time. if anyone who has a better feel for this wants to expand on it be my guest.

anyway im sure theres many more but these are the things i see the most. feel free to rb and add your own “please dont”s to the list. an before anyone gets on me about “why is this stuff bad but things like ancient rome arent” look ancient rome did about as much bad shit as england did but we dont all cancel mister arthur monster brows do we? the difference is these examples are narrowing a character down to one specific problematic period of their history (or in the case of the mafia thing one single small problematic part of the countrys history) and ancient rome represents the entirety of the countrys existance which did more than just imperialism and murder and shit. ok mun lei out now.

[kweebtrash]

Hey, not necessarily a sex question. But as someone who loves reading fanfic and appreciates fanfic writers, I still can't bring myself to write it. How did you get into writing fanfic, and was it ever weird for you? Do you have any advice on how to feel less weird about it? Especially smut about real people? (To be fair I can't bring myself to write smut in general idk why)

I started writing naruto and yu yu hakusho fanfiction when i was ten and it was just a regular oc and the character i liked. It wasnt good at all but i thought it was the greatest. When i met my sister (non biological) in middle school we decided to come up with our own "anime story". We would write it in notebooks and pass it to each other during class and get in trouble for it. So i guess that was the first time ive written an "original" story. By the time i was 12 i knew what sex was (mostly) and i knew teenagers did it (my characters were teenagers) so i was like oh if they like each other then they should do it. But because i was 12 i was like THATS ICKY TO WRITE ABOUT (in detail) so i made them get in bed and then skipped ahead and wrote THE NEXT DAY 😂😂😂

Then when i got access to a laptop and internet thats when i round "real" fanfiction online and smut back when it was called "lemon/lime/citrus" whatever the fuck that means. I still remember my first one was about neji hyuga LMAO.

I started reading more fanfiction throughout my teenager years and kept writing for anime, wrote bandfiction, created a bunch of OCs to rp with my partner at the time and i think by the time i actually started having sex that i was like ok this isnt so weird to write about anymore. So when we would rp we would just text each other sex scenes and i guess it became normalized because we were doing it irl so writing about it was just like hey! We sorta know what were doing! Oh i also used to watch a lot of porn as a teen? Idk why. That stopped after like a year or so but i found out shit through that, like bdsm, squirting, how utterly gross blowjobs are, what a hitachi wand was, how much i hate spit, etc. So that actually helped me discover like my beginning kinks. Porn is still terrible tho.

I think the first time i wrote smut was with a wrestling fanfic? And i had been reading a bunch of fics that had smut and with my basic knowledge and slowly finding out what phrases i liked in order to describe things it flowed a little more naturally but it was still hard.

Then i think i didnt really write much until i wrote my pentagon story which i think is terrible but other people like it. I guess with my practicing, experience, and sex education it started becoming easier? You can tell in my pentagon story that i was still getting back into the swing of things bc my sex scenes are atrocious and ridiculous 😅

I never really liked reading series myself bc i didnt want just prose and build up. I wanted smut. I was like THATS WHAT I CAME HERE FOR. So i made it a point to write smut in every single chapter so that way people stayed interested. In doing so it also helped me practice and get better. Then i read A LOT of bad kpop fics and was like....why dont these people know that sex isnt like porn??

There is a lot of copying in kpop fics in the sense that a lot of them are written the same way and we get the usual; some u realistic giant dick, "ministrations, pussy, cunt", kitten every other word, thigh riding, everyone confusing abuse with bdsm, "daddy" popping up left and right without going in depth to what meaning that holds, random weird shit. And i realized WOW I REALLY HATE KPOP FANFICS lol. So when i started writing messy i was like OK FUCK THIS IM GONNA WRITE SEX LIKE HOW ITS SUPPOSED TO GO. Then i starting writing smut where the condom broke, they talked about birth control, having a mental breakdown during sex, sexual assault, accidentally wacking each other while moving around, giggling, talking, explaining what you want. This i think helped me a lot, especially with my mental trauma that was associated with sex. I wanted to make it fun and real while also possibly teaching my readers about sex and maybe influencing other fic writers to not just regurgitate what they read.

As far as advice, im not quite sure if i have any?? Maybe i do lol. Take it with a grain of salt maybe?

With writing i would suggest

Read fics you like and highlight key phrases or actions you think are sexually appealing

Practice writing shorter scenes, you can even do time stamps or drabbles, things like that-people love those on here

Look into things. Honestly i knew what a cock ring was but someone requested i USE it in a fic and i was like shit guess i gotta google how to use a cock ring and while awkwardly watching videos of guys putting these things on i learned about metal ones, cages, silicone, rubber, rings, how long you should keep it on for, etc. So RESEARCH! is key too

If youve never had sex before that also helps if you research. Porn can give you a little bit of knowledge in generic motions or toys to use but by no means is it great as far as realism and sometimes its just plain icky.

So porn can be a basis, research can be a middle layer, reading other fics and seeing what you like and dont like is on top, and writing ur own is like...idk frosting lol.

As far as being weird with real people; since i wrote bandfiction and wrestling fics i was used to writing about real people for a little under ten years or so. Also i have a really active mind at night and i have tons of sex dreams that fit into like a story based setting. Thats where all my ideas for prose, dialogue and smut come from. Not everyone ofc has a brain like that but writing down things here and there might work. Lets say you have a favorite idol moment-like some really slutty dance move during a performance, you could time stamp that for inspiration. Save a lot of gifs and pics of them looking *chefs kiss*, listen to some music (i like alina baraz, sabrina claudio, galant, alex tbh, and jooyong for softer, gentler scenes or if you wanna get freak nastie listen to some dumbass jae park, or pretty ricky, or any sex related song thats not pretty lmao. Like rude boy by rihanna or something with a hard beat).

I think its also good to try and picture yourself in a sexual situation. You dont have to look like you, you could make up however you want to look in the scenario, its fantasy after all. Also think "would i like this?" Like i wont write about some idol spitting in my mouth or slapping me or peeing on me or something because thats not stuff that im into and i would be forcing myself to appease someone else and the writing woukd end up sucking big time. This also doesnt help the lack of good fics bc people are just following the requests they get even if they dont like it. I would write about what i think id feel in the moment. Id probably be nervous or if im pretending i could be a cool badass, i would think about things that i find attractive like his (imma use his bc i do write mostly about boy idols) face in the shadows of the light, how nice or soft his lips look, they way hes conveying emotions and looking at me if we were in love or if we were angry, the hold he has on me, why would it be going slow? Is it sad makeup sex? Is it a first time together? Is it just comforting after a bad day? Why would they be rough? Are they angry? Had a fight? Had a slow burn relationship and its culminated into a big explosion? Did they hate each other but hide their true feelings?

So i would suggest not just thinking about sex but thinking about the moment and all the things that lead up to, happen during, and the aftermath of it.

And of course if you don't understand anything or need more info about sex you can always ask me!

I hope this help and sorry its long😅😅😅😅

[violet-amet]

[deep breath in] [deep breath out]

ranting about stories and stuff.

there is nothing more that i hate, then leaving things completely open ended, after so much build up and questions. why did they leave certain stories untold or unfinished? god knows i do the same, but i feel better when i complete my stories instead of leaving it with some gaps here and there.

then there are the stories that completely skewed my expectations after enjoying it initially, say like, a book series. i read one book in particular, liked it, read the sequel, haaaated it, and decided to ignore the rest. some tho are good and kept me hooked until i finished it all. but i hate the feeling of being utterly disappointed by some things.

some books really left me feeling that way. same goes for series of games or some such. it bums me out really. i dont mind the existence of fix it fics, but if im disappointed by something, i will drop it, ignore it, and just move on. there is just no point in enjoying something that was initially so terribly written, other people decided to take a shot at it and make it better in their own ways. goes to show the incompetency of the original writer.

i guess thats why i dont read books anymore. its just im tired of being disappointed. fanfics are great, but honestly, i might be in the minority here which is fine, i am not fond of fix it fics. unless its because i wanted to enjoy something specifically, i dont exactly find it appealing, given my initial expectations of the og story.

its fun tho to read others interpretation of something and do their own thing with it, but its just not my thing.

i also have other gripes with fiction, but thats just... stupid things tbqh. least to say, i hate the concept of ocs being mary sues. its just how it is written that matters. wish fulfillment is fine, esp if its for fun and doesnt harm anyone. its dumb and silly really to argue over that sort of thing. but i get it for some things. still... hm.

but im not a critic, im just a consumer. if that makes sense.

[pluviophile-imagines]

THE CAROLINE STORY OMG I REMEMBER THAT!!!!!! (tho i mostly learned abt it thanks to her extravaganza of that total scam workshop thing she tried to pull in like 2019) im also reminded of how soooo many "legendary” male directors—like quentin tarantino and george lucas—were totally CARRIED by female editors, who would go back through and like. make their movies into what we consider masterpieces today. obvi thats film rather than literature but v much applicable!

not to continue this rlly fucking long post but i have more opinions abt the fanfic discussion and im making it ur problem JKHSBDF i touched on it a little bit in my ask but..... the BIG different imo between beta readers in fandom vs editors in publishing is that editors do it professionally—they’re paid to read the books and tell you what needs to change. they’re rarely fans or friends prior to reading said book, and even if they are again reading the book IS THEIR JOB they are trained and paid to be brutal so that the book ultimately becomes better. whereas beta reading in fandom is...... more of a social thing??? they’re more often than not your friends, and in my experience most people want betas who aren’t going to absolutely tear up their work to help u build it back up again stronger. And don’t get me wrong! considering fanfic is a hobby i think that’s a perfectly reasonable thing; editing as rigorously as traditional publishing requires is A LOT more work and makes it very difficult to keep up with the sheer quantity that fandom tends to prioritize, and choosing not to edit so rigorously doent mean that the product can’t be a masterpiece anyway (i mean i dont edit that rigorously either!) but that is a big difference to note.

i AGREE abt the fanfic-to-pubbed-author pipeline it is SO interesting to me; fanfic has been around forever, it’s really only been since the advent of copyright that it’s been something to like. pointedly separate??? humans have been making stories & consuming stories & making stories influenced by the stories they consumed since the dawn of time it’s one of the universal things that makes us human. and i am of the opinion that once your work is out there...... its out there. what people take from it and interpret it as is up to them, no matter what kind of art you make. but back to the pipeline! i know i mentioned it with u before but theres this rlly big assumption, both from.... ~the outside word~ and from fandom, that published work is for “real” authors and if a fanfic author is “good enough” they’ll make the jump when like...... absolutely untrue. the only real difference between the two is that one is professional and one is for a hobby ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and anyone who’s really into either would probably be able to tell u that. the bell curve for both is probably v v similar; there’s some absolute shit that gets published and theres jaw-dropping masterpieces of fanfic. part of the fsog thing, imo, is that it happened to be a v mainstream yet VERY kinky erotica, and that has a lot of appeal for the middle aged housewife audience that doesnt do the fanfic thing—the fact that it is fanfic, at its core, doesn’t actually matter that much because fundamentally...... there’s not much of a big difference between fanfic and “real” work. despite what those true literature nuts claim, most published authors would agree JHBDFG and its only gonna be more and more and more common for popular authors to have grown up writing fanfic, it’s only natural. writers r gonna write & practice is the best way to hone any craft. idr where i was going with this anymore! i just find the topic rlly cool LMFAOOOOO

Tbh you bring up some rlly great points in ur response to that asker abt chonky chapters! but first, I will always jump into askboxes to remind people that their writing is for them first and foremost. if a reader finds longer work more intimidating, then it's on them to either brace themselves and read it anyway or look somewhere else. the benefit of the BNHA reader insert community in particular is that there are MANY other places to look! nobody's limited if they prefer longer fics or little drabbles, there's so many out there that it's impossible to read them all even if u absolutely refuse to read one type or another. And it goes the other way too! dont pressure urself to write more bc its what you think your fanbase wants—youre providing absolutely incredible work for free, write it how u wanna. anyway! all that out of the way, bc I also have some original fiction/manuscripts that I'm working on, and also bc comparing fanfic & fanfic writing to "real"/"traditional" fiction/publishing is a rlly cool topic that I enjoy discussing, i have some Opinions abt what you talked abt with bad writing habits. bc the BIGGEST thing that sets fanfic and "real" fiction apart is editing. simply put fanfic is never edited with the same vigorousness as a YA manuscript might be, even if you have many beta readers and you feel like your edits are massive. editing in traditional publishing is primarily the work of other people—an editor who is being paid to do so, sometimes even a team of them; beta readers and sensitivity readers who are also being paid to do so (the paid part is important, bc even tho we care about hobbies we arent doing them professionally!)—and v importantly, theres something you hear a lot from writers that from rough draft to print their work practically became multiple different books along the line. it's rigorous, it's practically half the total work & time put into working on a book these days. fanfic doesnt have that! i guess my point is that you're thinking that, like fanfic, the pressure of what to cut on the chopping block will come to you if/when you do make the jump to "real" writing, but it likely won't. you'd have editors to say "these parts dont matter as much, chop them" or "this is lengthy, cut it down" so your job is to do the work they tell u n trust them lmfao. ofc if you become a diva writer who bitches n moans n refuses to edit that's a different story (and frankly one that's becoming more common as fanfic authors start to break into the traditional publishing world, and writing esp in ya is v much suffering as a result imo) but. well. i dont believe thatll be a problem for u merm JKBAAKJHFS esp considering ur already thinking abt it as for accessibility...... first off one of the benefits of posting on ao3 as opposed to tumblr is that ao3 has a ton of scripts for users that can help with that. but you can always leave a little note in a chapter saying "hey, this is a good time for a break!" or something. or break it up differently! s'all up to you

either way ik ill eagerly read anything u put out 😌 whether its 10k or 30k or 100k, fanfic or original <333

Omg, Pluvi, i love you LMAO sdkjsdklfjh okay okay hang on, lemme squint at this for a bit.

I’ve always wondered if like, this unedited freedom is what’s given rise to the whole, worship-culture of long fics?? Okay, worship-culture isn’t the right term for what I want, but we’re gonna keep it for now — idk, because unless you’ve got a guaranteed audience to sell to or an editor who REALLY goes to bat for you, most publishers are gonna be leery of like, things over 100k???? The chonky-ass book trend has only been a relatively recent thing!!! I remember Tamora Pierce (one of my favourite childhood authors!!) saying that Harry Potter/Stinker (derogatory) really opened up the door to publishers being more willing to print big books, because it was proving that there was enough kids out there who would read them.

And on one hand, I feel like fandom sort of proves that that can be true for a general audience, too. Because you’ll come into a fandom and there’ll be someone going, “omg read this super popular Dramonie fic!! it’s 300k and will take a solid week off your life but it’s sooooo good!!!” (i am not a dramonie fan personally but that has also not stopped me from reading some of the single most popular fics in that ship — mostly because i was listening to a podcast one day that was like, two hours long and was an interview with a really popular Dramonie author who’s fics I kept seeing on tiktok being book-bound???? idk, it was interesting! She talked about how she would finish a chapter in a week (jealous) and then send it off to her army of betas and then post it via her phone while in service at Church LMAO dslksdkljdfk anyways). But then I wonder, like — is it less about length, and more about what you can explore when given the freedom to write whatever you want? And people just confuse length with that freedom? Because I have read some long, long, long fics that I can tell you right now were better off stopping like, 50k in LMAO. And I think being a storyteller (which we all are, really) means knowing when enough’s enough (i say, like my dumb ass isn’t planning an interconnected trilogy sdlkfjsdlkjf).

The fanfic-author-to-pubbed-author pipeline is FASCINATING lmao, because I always think of 50 Shades of Gray :’) Our Twilight-loving friend really said, “replace Edward and Bella’s names and hit print money” and it WORKED LDSKFJLDKSFJ. I guess… more so because it was just blatant erotica? I feel like fanfic is a really good example of the power of hornee LOL. But also that people… want it???? I dunno, the overlap is fascinating. I think a really interesting like, case study in the power of an editor/beta is the Caroline Calloway story, who is like, very, very, micro-ly infamous for like, being an early instagram “influencer” — she likes to say that she pioneered the “long caption” trend, because she (as an American citizen) went off to Oxford University and started using her instagram to like, chronicle the magic of those days — rowboating with Titled peers, spending a weekend in Italian with aristocrats and eating squid-ink pasta at midnight. She would have these long, long captions that were poetic and charming and she gathered a bit of a modest following because of it — and ended up scoring like, a 200k book deal from it? A book deal that she then reneged on because she couldn’t deliver the finished product — because her friend, Natalie, was ghostwriting said book, after editing the instagram captions for her. They’d had a falling out during the process of writing the book and it’s proposal though — so obviously, Natalie wasn’t ghostwriting anymore, and Caroline, under the influence of an addiction, couldn’t deliver. To this DAY, Caroline is STILL promising a book that she’s trying to self-publish, but she’s been promising (and has opened pre-orders) for it since like, 2019 LMAO. Okay, you know what, that actually has literally nothing to do with what we’re discussing here right now LMAO but idk.. it’s fun so I’ll leave it in sdlkfjsdlkfj. A neat little detour!!!

writing’s hard. :’) and i think i personally find it harder than it might actually be because — I worry about it like it’s my job, instead of something i do for fun LMAO. and, ultimately, i am a people pleaser at heart!!! i will only ever write the things i like, but i want the people who read them and like them too to like… idk, have fun doing it, LOL. it’s fine, this is fine. It’s interesting, because I didn’t have this pressure working on my manuscript — I just wrote the story I wanted to, and then the strictness came when I sat down to edit it the first time. I was on my second round of edits when i fell head-first into BNHA and haven’t looked back since :’) but it does need an overhaul; especially at the beginning. I just dread…. going back and doing it, lmao, because idk where to start with it. but i do need to do something with it, since i did love this idea, once, and believed in it pretty whole-heartedly!!! but also: My Hero Academia 😩 Bakugou. 😔 Bakugou, my beloved.

[saniika]

As promised before this is a drama-free blog. Please do not read further, this is a personal announcement which is very much in the drama category. There will be no filter and lots of swear words. 

TLDR: I am not well, will be not active as usual and don’t know when Ill be back. Bunch of stuff is gone, it’s not just you imagining things. I wrote all this since I gotten asks which I hid away from.

I am not ok. For about a year I've gotten under lot of pressure, both mental and physical. Shortly before that I closed  very traumatic period in my life and even went of antidepressant. And then bam, the above happened, yoi came in the mix. Wow! Fantastic a coping mechanism, works so well. I am happy. Friends message me genuinely excited to see me happy. I listen to music, read, draw and it shows its full of love. A sanii-wonderland.

But... nothing lasts forever, right?

I entered this exhausted and rushed like a hound dog. I wanted validation, to matter and make some good for the world (I cant sadly cure ass politics, world hunger or happiness for LGBT...yeah.) So Ive set to put my services into promoting writers with fanarts to their fanfics - because hey they made me happy, what other way to show thanks? Drawing fanarts just to join the happy in the community. Talk in streams. And Im telling you the insomnia rushes where the brain was like squirrel on caffeine - those are really damn productive periods. With horrible consequences.

Months went by, sometimes I didnt feel good, panic attacks started to be present, nightmare drove me to the point of waking up in fright (I got scared I fell asleep). Other health related issues arose...twirling down the ground as they say.

I met some really nice people which I will not mentioned here as I dont want to pull them into my drama post (even if id say thanks), participated on incredible project. The more I got involved into the fandom and socials it got faster and before I knew it - I felt like im stuck on a rollercoaster, about to puke and the fucking ride doesn't stop.

Thoughts like these arose - I’m too old, I’m not fast enough, cant keep up this speed, why does this person has so much success, has so many friends etc. Bad bad toxic feelings - which I am happy I did not act upon, no one deserved these and it was all in me. Friends helped here since I admitted these to them and was quite surprised to hear many felt similar - burnout from the fandom, apps in general, life in the whole mix.

I thouhgt itll pass, focused on the writing which made me really excited and productive. I drew my whole life, its the best I can do - the other thing I can do best is - hating myself. So believe it or not that actually helped with yakov flamers - no one can hate myself more than me. Im a medalist at that. Back back to the track.

Physically speaking I sought out doctors and they didnt help me as I expected they would. I have to write and type a lot in IRL job and my chronic pain in hand turned into vicious icepick stabing pain in collarbone + completely sore numb right upper torso. It took me a week to be able to type on a phone without vincing.

And few days ago - I actually cant tell what day it was because I spend the whole weekend in bed and ate once. Never had such episode, so that was really... not fun - I had a meltdown and deleted bunch of things. So if you cant find them - they are not there. You will see my art rebloged here and there, but the original posts are gone. With each delete I felt lighter and had a good cry too.

It all came down to this - I felt cheap, taken for granted and all the initial thoughts of happy turned into realisation (with the help of friends) that I do expect things in return. Im not the type to play an attention whore and avoid posting complaints as pest. Yet here I am. Because -

Bit by bit I neglected breaks for bathroom for drawing. Didnt rest the hand when I was supposed to. Wrote feedback or comments for others when I was tired. Offered support on drunk/depressive/suicidal posts and offered support in chat even though I should have invested into selfcare. And it all snowballed to this - loosing love towards certain pairings, drawing itself. Aaaaand posting 2 pics after such a break brought me to breathing labored and wow, suddenly I am here - BAM - very not ok.

I left a bunch of places, set up things so that I speak with bare minimum of people. I have no idea what Ill do from now on, but I know its easier to just watch others and consume - or maybe even easier to watch as little as possible (let me be frank, I really don’t care who sticks a dick to whom’s ass - petty discourse about pairings and topping really sour me and - EAT VICTORS DICK, CHOKE ON IT - became my private favorite curse. Don’t get me started on self entitled critics on whats right to draw, write and ship.... FUCKING WILL YA - just do your thing, have fun, SHUT UP - make stuff that makes you happy if you don’t see it around or PAY others to do it. OR like support them, be NICE. Doesn’t hurt...promise.)

I flipped the switch, lost it grand and that’s it. I wont be putting restrictions on myself here saying I wont draw ever or this fandom - that’s not how it works. But right now? Ill be happy if I manage to deliver work on a project I don’t want to fall out of. I tried the appeal of sharing work privately to friends or to no one at all. Engaging on discords and DMs - so freeing to talk about stories and stuff without tumblr police. I just cant do this anymore - posting out there steals my breath and it fucking hurts.

I hope you enjoyed all I did, it all came from heart - that’s all. I know Ill sweat all nervous posting this, but YAKOV COURAGE WOLF tells me so. Better than listening to voices telling me to go shit at Wendy's bar.

Thanks for everything.

[ramabear]

001 bakudeku & todobaku & tododeku

this gets kinda long plus the middle one has Surprise Weird shit so readmores galore

001 | Bakudeku:

when I started shipping it if I did: right off the bat. almost certainly my first ship that wasn’t like, unfounded nonsense

my thoughts: this is a delicate ship. there’s a narrative and a balance between the characters that you have to be aware of with them. if you arent, you can easily have a piece of work that just... doesn’t feel right. if you reduce them too far to their basic qualities, you can easily ruin what makes them a complex and interesting ship

What makes me happy about them: there’s so much room for growth, and, conversely there is so much room for awfulness. its a broad field to work in

What makes me sad about them: oh its almost certainly not going to be canon, which is a shame

things done in fanfic that annoys me: once i started writing katsudeku i stopped reading it. 99% of the time its characterization that bothers me, though

things I look for in fanfic: i dont read other ppls fanfic of katsudeku

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: comfortable? fuck i dont care. i’d rather they didn’t “end up” up with anyone bc theres more freedom, i think, in fandom creation if characters dont have set pairs. ultimately, the author has the freedom to do what they will. 

My happily ever after for them: mmm prob the “reconnected exes” fic i have is my fave version of this pair. 

who is the big spoon/little spoon: pfff, katsuki has the broader shoulders and demands big spoon but sometimes he ends up lil spoon and thats ok

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: cooking dinner

001 | todobaku: (note: i used to ship shouto/katsuki. i no longer ship them. so the todo in this todobaku isn’t shouto, if you know what i mean)

when I started shipping it if I did: i had a conversation with my VGF a few weeks ago and the idea hit and it Stuck. boy it stuck hardcore. i think this is my third fave ship for baku?

my thoughts: i love it. i love how nonsense it is. i love how im gonna be the only motherfucker with this pairing in my repertoire of fics because of how fucking nonsense it is.

What makes me happy about them: they are both assholes to everyone else, they’re proud, they’re competitive. they destroy everything they touch and yet somehow are marvelous. its so fucking good.

What makes me sad about them: god damn the hoops i have to mentally and plottingly go through to get them into a fuckin fic together in any sort of way that would fucking work is NONSENSE fucCK

things done in fanfic that annoys me: no one has written them. trust me.

things I look for in fanfic: fuck you this is MY SHIP dont write for it mOTHER FUCKER

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: i mean bakushin is hella fine and so is my other super top secret bakuship, my fourth fave and oh my god i have one with fourth and third being bangbuddies and im. look i know some fics will never see the light of day but I Enjoy them and fuck it

My happily ever after for them: Shouto: horrified. Everyone: confused and horrifed: Katsuki: Smug Asshole.  Tododad: Even More Smug Asshole

who is the big spoon/little spoon: are u kidding me Tododad would N E V E R little spoon (i mean at least not on purpose)

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: weight training. 

001 | tododeku:

when I started shipping it if I did: this was one of the early ships but i dont really ship it anymore. i just don’t see the Appeal

my thoughts: right so the only appeal i have with the younger todo (todoson) is like,,,, The Fucked Up Son, the Boy Who Fucked Up, i have this one fic, the only tododeku one that i indulge in, where todoson is like,,, a washed up musician and falls in love with izuku and its this whole complicated mess and fuck its so ridiculoust i hate it but i love it

What makes me happy about them: the fanart is pretty good

What makes me sad about them: why is todoson so boring

things done in fanfic that annoys me: i dont read todosondeku any

things I look for in fanfic: no

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: todosonANDKIRISHIMA FUCKIN GHSLGHEILGHGSef

My happily ever after for them: look i dont know i dont know

who is the big spoon/little spoon: todoson tries to Big Spoon but he...fails. its great. hehe

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: bookstore shopping

[bi-dazai]

the height difference between dazai and chuuya is less than the height gap between me (im the same height as chuuya down to the cm) and my bf and i dont have to go on tiptoes to kiss him nor does he have to lean down that much.

and maybe its because both me and my bf are bi, or that im not really a girl (im nb leaning neither masc nor femme), but even when our relationship feels extremely straight it doesnt stop me from being the big spoon or whatever else. fujos write these strange gay relationships that arent gay or interesting at all, they have one dynamic they write and thats it. and it isnt even an interesting relationship dynamic at all - its the opening relationship of a typical shoujo high school slice of life manga, with the girl being shy and subservient to a confident and clever guy. but in the good straight shoujo romances that isnt the appealing dynamic! its seeing both of them change and open up, become more confident and emotional with each other, explore unique aspects of their dynamic that makes their relationship fluid and unique. 

writers like setosdarkness write one pairing - seme/uke couples that do not change or diversify. setosdarkness, while also writing extremely problematic shit that includes but is not limited to racism and fetishization as well as romanticisation of abuse and bad power dynamics, has NEVER written a fic that features the dynamic of chuuya and dazai in a different way. they have NEVER written chuuya as a top and dazai as a bottom, and they have NEVER acknowledged dazai’s more emotional side. in hundreds of fics, setosdarkness has never portrayed dazai nor chuuya in a way that is at ALL like they are in canon - the dazai and chuuya are far removed from what we are writing fanfiction of. this is because setosdarkness is not writing fic of dazai and chuuya. if setosdarkness had an ounce of originality they would create their own characters to write racially fetishistic abusive straight-gay stories of. but they arent, and so they take whatever characters they like, strip them of any personality that was carefully crafted by a good character writer like asagiri kafka, and shoves them into seme/uke roles based on a shallow perception.

good fanfic takes the canon material and dives further into it. bsd fanfic in particular ive found is fantastic at diving into the nuances of characters and relationships. ive read skk fic that explores the complexity of the skk relationship in a way that, if you changed the name and setting details, you could publish it to positive critical appeal. and i say this as someone doing a degree and getting into the industry, someone whose plan out of uni is to go into copyediting, which involves meticulously picking apart and evaluating publishability. 

ive read skk fanfic that reads more like author responses to character relationships (users like diphylleias, flyby, shinkirou) than fanfiction. in all of these, chuuya and dazai’s relationship feels unique and interesting and multifaceted. it feels like you wouldnt get this out of any other pairing. so its extremely disappointing that setosdarkness, who clearly spends half their time dutch ovening themselves and the other half of the time reading narrowly curated fandom works, with no time left to actually rewatching/rereading the series, clearly does not appreciate this incredible quality of work available in the ao3 tag. instead they use their (admittedly fairly good, especially at 2020 ao3 standard) talents to write the most boring seme/uke shit that is extremely ooc, unoriginal, straight up abusive at times, and unappealing. 

i write this and call out this writer by username because 1) this fandom has a fujo problem and 2) this fandom’s most prolific writer is a 30 yr old fujo who writes very bad fic, even at fujoshi standard. i mean, come on, it’s 2020, last year the shounen ai of the year was fucking GIVEN. modern fujos dont even write bad gay work anymore often! so why does so much of setosdarkness’ and many other fandom creators work read like 2007 sasunaru lj bullshit lol

Do you ever think about how if chuuya was taller (JUST taller, that's literally the Only Change Here) all the fujos would put him as the top/uke or whatever? Like they literally are so strange like if a character is less than a ruler length shorter than the other fujos are like "you are banned from being a top because girls are shorter than boys and we project heterosexuality onto gay people"