#i get so much secondhand embarrassment from everywhere in my life but sometimes i just couldn't give less of a fuck about shit that happens

[fanvoidkeith]

"high empathy autism" this, "low empathy autism" that. you don't even know how fast my empathy can switch on a dime

(*update to this post before i even post it: the day i wrote this, i forgot to take my anxiety meds. oops. this still applies, though)

[momentsofbllove]

A year of BL Love

I discovered BL for the first time this year, and boy what a year it was! I wanted to write up a quick and simple review of the shows that I watched just to finish off the year. So here goes! (Spoilers EVERYWHERE. So... be careful.)

Shows that I loved, will definitely rewatch in the future, and will skip very little of when I do:

The Untamed - beautiful story, beautiful production, all around worth every second of the 50 episodes. technically not a BL because of censorship, but still managed to portray the most beautiful love story I watched all year. Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan deserve every second of the acclaim and praise they have received for this masterpiece! 10/10

Until We Meet Again - I love every couple in this series with all my heart! a lot of people felt it was slow but I honestly just thought it was a beautiful story full of love and heartache and friendship and just... uhg, everything. I will rewatch this one again and again and again. 10/10

Like In The Movies - this one was heartbreaking and hopeful and beautiful and tragic and sweet and just altogether perfect in every way. I need the sequel right now immediately please! 10/10

He’s Coming To Me - this one was so good?!! I don’t know how a show about a love story between a ghost that was murdered 20 years ago and a university student could be so perfect, but it was? the only thing that was a little iffy was the previous relationship between Met and Thun’s mom. this one is sweet and sad (Met is dead afterall) and has love and mystery and good side characters and friendships. yeah. just altogether great. 9/10

HIStory 3: Trapped - fascinating story (I want so many more BL’s that AREN’T set in high school/university please!) and great chemistry between both couples. the acting was fantastic and the storyline was compelling. I truly love this show except for the fact that we’re not getting that sequel they were hinting at and that makes me SAD because it makes the ending hurt so much even if it was a hopeful one. 9/10

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - cute story, amazing actors, wonderful side characters, just all around great! the only reason it’s not getting a perfect score is because I feel very OLD when watching highschool storylines. it makes the intimate scenes... awkward. even if the actors are adults. 9/10

Where Your Eyes Linger - loved the storyline, loved the chemistry and dynamics of the couple, the ending was rushed and left me wanting so much more, but since it was one of the first Korean BL’s to ever be produced it was wonderful. 8/10

Cherry Magic - I love Adachi and Kurosawa with all my heart! this show was so good. so so good! the only reason I’m not giving it a higher rating is because Tsuge and Minato’s storyline gives me so much secondhand embarrassment ALL THE TIME! but they’re still so cute despite that, so it’s not horrible. Rokkaku and Fujisaki are SO CUTE and the perfect side characters. basically this show is perfect (except for the second hand embarrassment) and the fact that we never got a proper kiss. like... I don’t need skinship in every BL show I watch, but that last second cutaway in the end was just... frustrating. 8/10

Theory of Love - OffGun have my whole heart and are 80% of the reason I love this show so much. but also I really liked the story line and the way Third and Kai’s relationship progressed throughout the show. it had a perfect resolution for all the couples (including the teacher/student ‘couple’ which I usually HATE) and was definitely a stand out from all the multitude of ‘university’ shows out there. 8/10

3 Will Be Free - this was was so interesting and lovely and tragic and I loved every single second of it... up until the last ten minutes. I almost put it lower just because of the ending. we deserved a happy, loving bisexual polyship d*mn it! but I’ll definitely rewatch it again. and stop right before the end when I do. 8/10

Because of You 2020 - ridiculous nonsense that I will gladly watch again! really there is no justifying this one being in my top list because it is NONSENSE but it makes me happy and that’s all that matters. all three couples are adorable and the last scene makes me smile so much! 8/10

Shows that I liked and will probably watch again, but will be skipping a lot of parts when I do: 

My Engineer - this show should be in my top list. but I HATE BohnDuen so much. so so much. and they are the main couple. so because of them when I rewatch this show (which I have several times now) I have to skip 60% of it because I really really hate them. so much. but the other three couples make up for it - especially RamKing who GIVE ME LIFE - so it’s at the top of my ‘not the top’ list. 7/10

Mr. Heart - this one was cute, but I felt like the couple was very... lop-sided. Sang Ha was almost obsessed with Jin Won before they ever even properly met and that gave me a weird feeling. their relationship was cute by the end, but... idk. and the whole side story with Sang Ha and the debt collectors was... odd. I felt like it was a very serious storyline that they did not take seriously at all. very off-putting. but altogether the show was cute enough, and short enough, to deserve a rewatch. 6/10

Why R U - I just... did not like SaifahZon. like... at all. Zon’s character annoyed me, their dynamic was... off, and Zon’s sister makes me so mad I can’t watch her at all. I adore FighterTutor (they are one of my favorite couples which is why this show is still getting such a high rating) and I have rewatched their part of the show 3 times now. but the rest, including the THREE other side couples (seriously? 5 couples in one show? why? it’s too f*cking much!)... no. no thank you. 6/10

Roommates The Series - it was cute, and did very well on a VERY low budget and a very limited cast because they filmed during the pandemic (or after the worst of it was over in their country at least). the side female characters were great (a rarity in BL’s for sure!) and there was a few really great scenes that I loved. altogether a bit of a lackluster show compared to others, but definitely worth at least one watch. 6/10

Tharntype - I know how problematic this show is, alright? but it’s fictional, and sometimes people like things in their fictional stories that they HATE in real life... all the very serious consent issues for one. that being said, if I had been watching the show as it aired I probably would have given up on it by, like, episode 2. as it was I knew everything that happened before I ever started watching and that gave me the freedom to appreciate the storyline for what it would become at the end. I love MewGulf and the way they portrayed Tharn and Type. I thought Tar’s storyline was interesting and heartbreaking and he is a precious bean that I want to protect with all my heart. however, a big factor in this series not making it into my top list is the handling of Lhong and the ending of his story. you want me to feel sorry for that monster? are you kidding me?!! he should have been locked up in prison for the rest of his life, not had Tharn’s brother come APOLOGIZE to him as if he was the one who was wronged. if that hadn’t happened, despite all the problematic things in this show, I would probably have put this in my top list. 6/10

Wish You - this one had SO MUCH POTENTIEL. the storyline was unique, the ‘twist’ reveal was interesting, and the main characters had a lot of chemistry. and everything was RUSHED RUSHED RUSHED! this show needed at LEAST 5-6 more episodes. there was no time to develop the relationship between In Soo and Sang Yi, and I wanted them to so badly! there was no time to deal with the ‘twist’ and the fallout that happened from it. everything just happened and then you moved on, and then more things happened and you moved on. uhg. despite all that I’m putting this one a little higher because the actors, writing, and production value were very good. but gosh do I wish there was so much more of it. the wasted potential is painful. 6/10

The Effect - wow. this one was... not what I was expecting. be cautious of watching this because it could be VERY triggering. but the acting was PHENOMENAL! I think they took a very dark and serious subject and portrayed it with a lot of care. one of the best things about it was Shin’s friends reaction to his trauma and how carefully and kindly they helped him heal. beautiful to watch! the only reason this is not getting a higher rating is because that ending was INFURIATING! absolutely unforgivable for them to leave it so ambiguous like that. Shin deserved to have a clear and obvious happy ending. not... whatever the hell that was. 6/10

Love By Chance - AePete are precious and adorable and I love them. But Ae’s possessiveness in the later episodes really bothers me, the fact that Perth was 17 when they were filming really bothers me, and once AePete get together halfway through the show it’s like they just get dropped to focus on TinCan which is a couple I can’t stand even a little. and don’t even get me STARTED on Techno and Kengkla. just... just don’t. that whole ‘relationship’ is 85% of the reason I refuse to watch the sequel. altogether, I probably WON’T watch this one again, but I probably would at least have watched the AePete and TumTar (yes, I liked them leave me alone about it) storylines if Perth wasn’t so young, so I’m still giving it a 5/10

Together With Me - MaxTul are fire both on and off screen and I love them with all my heart, but I hated, like, 95% of the show that wasn’t strictly about them. teacher/student storyline? gross. couple with a huge age-gap that ends up being super toxic and emotionally destroying a sweet and lovely character? thanks, I HATE IT. yet another BL portraying the girlfriend as a conniving b*tch so that we’re okay with one half of the main couple being a cheater while they figure out their sexuality crisis? ew ew and more ew. honestly if it wasn’t for the fact that they had two fantastic side female characters (again, such a rarity in BL’s!) and the pure intense chemistry between KornKnock this show probably would have been put even lower. 5/10

Dark Blue Kiss - I can’t stand PeteKao? like... why do so many people love them so much? Pete is SO JEALOUS ALL THE TIME! I just want to smack him! and he’s also completely not understanding of Kao’s fear of coming out. he basically spent the entire show sabotaging his own relationship and then blaming it all on Kao! uhg. no. just no. but I love SunMork with all my heart and wanted them to have so much more development and screen time. it would have made the final scene with them so much better if they had just had TIME to really show their relationship and how it grew, instead of just getting them together and deciding that was good enough. I’ll watch their part again I’m sure, but only their part. 5/10

Shows that were very subpar - I may rewatch some of these for a specific couple but only if I’m really bored and feel like skipping 80% of the show:

#MyDay - I know there’s a lot of people that really like this one. but... oof. the writing was so bad. so so bad! the pacing of the show was weird, there were some major moments that needed a LOT more attention, and some minor moments that got way more screen time than they needed. things were just... awkward all the time when they weren’t meant to be. and again, we have a character that needed to go TO PRISON but ended up being forgiven in the end. just... no. I’m honestly only putting this show as high as I am because the chemistry between Ace and Sky was fantastic. but that wasn’t enough to save this trainwreck. I might watch the sequel for them. maybe. but also maybe not. 4/10

Quaranthings - this one had so much potential but was honestly just so subpar in the end. I really just don’t even have much to say about it. it’s worth watching, I guess. but put it at the bottom of your list, after you’ve watched all the better stuff. 4/10

YYY (and the 3 special eps) - look... weird shows are just not my thing. I love Lay and his portrayal of Punn, Nott was okay as the lead character, but the side characters and storylines were... bizarre. I get that it was supposed to be a parody of other BL’s and their tropes... but honestly I like tropes. and this show was just... too bizarre. especially the three special episodes. in fact... I’m just now remembering I never watched the 3rd one. oops. 4/10

En of Love - This was such a mix and match of good and bad. I didn’t like Tossara AT ALL. Gun pressured Bar into that relationship, including flat out blackmailing him with his necklace to force him to go out with him! they may have been happy in the end, but Bar was CLEARLY uncomfortable with Gun’s advances for most of the first three episodes and it really grossed me out. I kind of liked Mark and Vee together, but the issue with Mark’s girlfriend was frustrating and their whole relationship was just a little bit toxic. and I actually liked Neua and Pra-Ram... AFTER they let us know that Pra-Ram was a legal adult. I hated their relationship up until they had the birthday party because I thought Pra was 17. I’m still a little iffy about a very experienced third year student in university dating a very inexperienced high school student. but at least it wasn’t ILLEGAL. oof. 4/10

HIStory 1: Obsessed/Stay Away from Me/My Hero - My Hero and Stay Away From Me were cute enough although I’ll probably never rewatch them, but Obsessed was toxic and horrible and gross in all senses of the word. -4 for that one which puts the whole series at a 3/10

Tien Bromance - y’all this one is... I don’t even know how to describe it. weird. bizarre. confusing. badly written. strangely acted. (the acting wasn’t bad... it was just... strange.) I watched the special episodes first and thought it was just a cute little domestic family drama with some strange moments. then I watched the rest. and the fact that the first episode started off with a ghost possessing and killing like 8 people while they were on vacation at a lake was the least weird thing that happened. 3/10

Craving You - no. the storyline makes no sense. why are a popular cake baker and an upcoming musician partnering together? why? it doesn’t make any sense! And one of the lead actors is just SO BLAND. I think he was going for ‘quiet and sad’ but just ended up with ‘emotionless and boring’. the most compelling part of the show was the side character dealing with the unexplored feelings that he had for his first love that were denied to him by a homophobic family and how those feelings are now interfering with his current relationship. the rest was pointless and bland. 3/10

My Gear and Your Gown - I liked this one SO MUCH for the first 3-4 episodes. then is went downhill and FAST. Pai and Itt had no chemistry for the last 8 episodes. they spend the whole show angry at each other and then we’re just supposed to accept them getting together in the end because Itt confessed his feelings. like... that’s not enough! the best part of the show was PureFolk. Pure finally believing in love again because he met the ray of sunshine and sweetness that is Folk? yes please! but even their storyline was not fantastic because it got rushed and pushed aside in the end to focus on Pai and Itt breaking up AGAIN and having to deal with the issue of homophobic parents for all of one episode. the last episode was so pointless! there was no reason to shoehorn in that last little bit of drama. none. 3/10

Oxygen - uhg. I do not understand why so many people liked this one so much. Solo’s feelings for Gui were UNHEALTHY. he became obsessed with him over one tiny act of kindness! that’s... that’s not love. that is a broken young boy desperately seeking out love and forcing it onto someone because he doesn’t know what it’s supposed to be like. and the side story with the fujoshi barista and her brother and the doctors was creepy and weird. the only good part of this show was PhuKao but they got about 3 minutes of screen time per episode. I would watch a sequel with them in a heart beat, but leave everyone else out of it! 2/10

Shows I’m currently watching but haven’t finished airing yet so my rating may change:

Manner of Death - this show is EVERYTHING! the murder mystery, the suspense, the suspicion, the CHEMISTRY! I have no idea what’s going on or who I trust or don’t trust (except for Dr. Bunn and Sorn, they are precious rays of sunshine!) but I love every second of it. MaxTul are FIRE and I am so so happy to get to watch them in a story like this! 10/10

Ingredients - this show is EVERYTHING! and yes, I just said that about MoD, but this one is on the complete opposite side of the ‘everything’ spectrum and I love it with all my heart. Win and Tops are SO. FREAKING. CUTE! their pining for each other for eighteen d*mn episodes was so beautiful and sweet and infuriating! their love for each other as friends above all else is precious and perfect! and now that they’re actually together my heart just bursts every time I see them. I think the series only has 1 or 2 episodes left and I am DEVESTATED because I want 20 more! 10/10

TonhonChonlatee - I watched the first two episodes then stopped. I’ve been ‘watching’ the rest via people’s reactions to new episodes online. I get that Tonhon’s homophobia and toxic masculinity is supposed to be awful and is a major plot point in the show... but I don’t want to f*cking WATCH it! I’m hoping we’re getting to a point in the show where he’s calming the f*ck down and starting to learn better and BE better. I want to watch this show. but I can’t watch THAT. 3/10

Color Rush - this one has started off fantastically! the story is interesting and the characters are compelling already. but... I can tell you right now that it’s going to go the way of all the other Korean BL’s that came out this year. it’s not going to have enough time. AT ALL. it’s going to be rushed, I just know it. I applaud Korea for getting into BL’s in the first place and for giving us such interesting storylines and characters to watch, but these 10 minute, 8 episode shows are KILLING me with want of better development! 7/10

Well dang! That was... a lot! lol! Sorry for making such a long post, but BL’s have been such a huge part of my life this year I really just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings about everything out. I was originally going to make a part of the post be about my favorite (and not favorite) couples, but I’m going to end this here and put the couples in their own post.

My ask box is always open to discuss any and all shows on this list. You agree with my faves and want someone to talk to about them, hit me up! You disagree with my not-faves and want to tell me why... let me hear your opinion. You have suggestions for shows that I definitely should have watched by now but have somehow looked over... give them to me! I’ve got a whole new year to fill with beautiful couples and interesting stories!

[soundofseventeen]

13 Days of Christmas (Kim Mingyu)

Happy Saturday! The most exciting part of my day has been knowing I’m cleaning my bathroom. I’ll see y’all tomorrow! gif credits to owners! (Unedited!)

Word count: 1846

You had known that you hadn’t been in a relationship in sometime. You couldn’t remember when someone had asked you out to grab a coffee or go to the movies or anything. You missed someone holding your hand and holding you close, but you had a good reason. After two years, your ex-boyfriend had just dropped you like you didn’t exist. He kept everything you bought him of course,and he refused to take everything back you bought him, so it stayed in the corner of your room, haunting you for months on end.

And then one day, Mingyu offered to help you burn it all: the clothes, the pictures, the stuffed animals, everything that came from him went to the fire and the smoke polluted the sky. Everything that survived the first round, went to a secondhand store where you traded that junk for money and you treated Mingyu to smoothies to repay him for freeing you. Mingyu helped mend your broken heart; you weren’t oblivious to how he cared for you during that time. It didn’t matter if it was two am or two pm, if you had a breakdown, he was a phone call away. You would’ve texted him but the sound of his voice calmed you and over time, it gave you the strength to help you heal. 

Mingyu had helped you in more ways than one, and you didn’t know how to repay him. 

It had been a tough year but you persevered and you planned on ending it as strongly as possible. And you wanted to thank him for everything, so you decided to invite him to a holiday party a town over. It wasn’t a luxurious thing but people would be exchanging gifts throughout the night and the present wrapped up nicely on your bed seemed like it would make up for it. 

You planned to meet up with him there due to a difference in your schedules so you weren’t in a rush to shower to get ready, but when you had nothing else to do, you still managed to arrive 45 earlier than expected. You mingled with some acquaintances from a few classes and some of your coworkers while you waited on Mingyu.

And then there were people rushing past you, making you spill your drink everywhere and sent your present flying out of your hands. You didn’t know how they could be so careless around others. (You already knew the poor host was gonna be in for a long clean up session...and if they had money, then their poor cleaning people for having such entitled bosses.) You could already see the red drink seeping into the white, white carpet and had you not heard Mingyu’s name, you would’ve stayed behind to clean it. 

It didn’t take long to spot Mingyu; he was always the easiest to find in a crowded room. However, he didn’t look happy; he looked like he was out for blood and upon closer inspection, you found him holding your ex-boyfriend by the collar of his Christmas sweater. And if there was anything you knew about Kim Mingyu, it was the fact he wouldn’t strike unless provoked. So, he must’ve heard something, and while he glared daggers into your ex’s eyes, you weren’t afraid for Mingyu’s safety. (Mingyu’s height and frequent visits to the local gym made him scary to the wrong people.)

“Say it again,” Mingyu threatened him, not knowing that you could see him.

“Hey man, look I didn’t mean it like that. I just-”

“Y/N is not a toy or an object for you to be talking shit. You wanna talk shit, I’m right here.”

“You got the wrong idea; you guys just seemed really cozy lately-”

“How the fuck is any of that your business?”

You wondered why no one tried to diffuse the situation. Sure they had their phones out and everything, but no one was stepping in to try to convince Mingyu to let go.You had to admit how amused you were. You could feel the tension yes, but it didn’t stop you from enjoying the scene. You had suffered for so long, shed too many tears, and stopped taking care of yourself all for no good reason. You weren’t the type to tell anyone who hurt you that you still wished them the best. No, you wished all kinds of pain on them, for them to feel what you did. (It wasn’t your healthiest trait if you were honest, but you weren’t perfect and you were only human.)

Seeing him the way you felt for so long gave you a sense of power. They couldn’t see you and you knew that if you came into view Mingyu would immediately let go and your ex would scurry to the opposite side of the house...if he didn’t leave right away, that is. And that made you smile...a lot. Hell, if Mingyu wanted to deck him in the face once, that be the best Christmas present ever.

“Y/N, control your boyfriend,” you heard a friend whisper to you. “It’s Christmas and this is a time for all of us to be together, happily.”

“Ahh, you’re the one. I get it. Are you afraid that Mingyu’s gonna hurt your boyfriend?” You didn’t say that Mingyu wasn’t your boyfriend...or that he wouldn’t actually hurt him. You’ve seen how soft-hearted this boy really was. He sang Christmas carols at a hospital not too long ago. Part of you wanted to see how much longer this would play out, but you actually saw people getting too scared now to actually intervene. So, you broke it up yourself. “Mingyu?” you managed to say as quietly as possible. How pulled off a scared look, you didn’t know but hey it worked.

As predicted, Mngyu’s hand gripping at the collar went slack and he pulled back. The anger you saw on his face, however, surprised you. “Hey,” he said, keeping his voice low.

Your ex finally had some color on his face and somehow managed to spit out, “You two deserve each other anyway.” and ran to go hide. No doubt come Monday, the shit-talking would start and he’d try to make himself look good. Not that you cared or that Mingyu cared.

“Sorry I kept you waiting,” he apologized. “Traffic. But this party already sucks. So I’m just gonna head out. Do you wanna come with me?”

You didn’t give it a second thought as you nodded your head, and you walked out the door with him without saying goodbye to anyone. “Where are we going?” 

“Well, unless you have a different idea, I’m thinking we could just drive around.” He opened the passenger side for you and once you were in, he walked around and started his car. “By the way, I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. Your ex really likes to talk, huh?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about him...what did he tell you anyway?”

“Well, he’s convinced I’m dating you due to all the times he’s seen me come out of your apartment...so early in the morning. But he also wanted to know some information that really wasn’t his to know.”

“What -”

“You’re a person, not a toy that can be played with and then be put to the side. God, I wish I could’ve hit him. Are you cold? Let me turn on the heater for you.” He fumbled around with knobs nad buttons until a burst of warm air hit the car and then you were on your way. He turned on the radio and quickly changed stations as soon as he heard the Christmas songs. It’s not that he hated them, he just hated how overplayed they were. “So, what’d you get me?”

“What makes you think this is for you?”

“The Mingyu in bold letters does the trick. And if it was yours, you would’ve unwrapped it by now and showed it off.”

“I really hate that you’re a good guesser.” You turned the present around in your hands so the friction could keep them warm. “It’s just a cologne. I smelled it when I was on my break once, and I thought it’d be a good scent for you.”

“You have amazing taste.” His eyes widened at the sight in front of him as the roads soon became covered in snow. He drove a little further along until he could stop at the side of the road. He pulled out some gloves in the backseat and then got off. He waited for you to get off on your own because he knew you didn’t care much for snow or the cold weather in general and he felt like he could wait. He liked snow; it was temporary and it brought people close together, be it making forts, building snowmen, or trying to catch the flakes on their tongues. 

“Why’d you stop here?” you managed to chatter out. You blew on your hands to keep them warm and then stuffed them into your jacket.

“It’s quiet and calm. I don’t think it feels like Christmas until it’s cold and dark. And even with all the lights decorating the houses, it’s still too dark to see unless you're in the neighborhood.” He leaned back, watching the cars speed by, most of them carrying trees to decorate once they got home and he smiled, thinking of all the kids who’d put the ornaments and fighting over who got to the star on top. Mingyu watched you struggle to keep warming your hands to he reached over took them into his. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed one a little and then put it in his pocket. 

He took the other one and blew on it, not giving up until it was a lot warmer than when he started. Although, his gloves helped in the process. “Better?”

“A little.” You liked how close he was to you,and you could smell the peppermint creamer from his coffee. You liked his company...and him in general. He was warm. You let go of him then, only to wrap your arms around him. And you liked the pressure he put on his arms as he hugged you back. No one did it quite like Mingyu.

“Hey Y/N…”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“You’re really cold.”

“So are you.”

You were grateful to him, especially in moments like these. 

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“You smell really good.”

“So do you.”

You felt so content, something you had been lacking for sometime.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“I think I wanna kiss you.”

“Me too.”

Gently, so gently as to not disturb the moment, he angled your face perfectly so that he could give you the softest of kisses and one for every time he wanted to tell you how much you meant to him. The snow brought you comfort for once in your life, and you finally found that missing piece.

“Hey Y/N?”

“Yes Mingyu?”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

Maybe that missing piece was Mingyu.

[rmg91]

The Woes and Antics of Living Together-3

THIS CHAPTER! Gaaaahhh!!! It felt like it goes on forever even though it doesn't because I just couldn't get the right words to come out! So, sorry if it seems rough in places I was trying to work through my slight writers block. More slice-of-life like stuff will start next chapter as I attempt to drag this out a little bit rather than just skipping all the way to the Broppy goodness like I want to. (Also we need some of that mutual pining I promised all of you heehee~)

Enjoy.

Previous Chapter/Next Chapter; AO3/FF.net

                                                    ~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day after morning classes found Poppy skipping her way up to Branch's soon to be old building to help him collect his things. The day was bright and sunny, a sure fire sign that it was going to be great and she couldn't wait to have her new roommate all settled in. Humming a cheerful tune, she glanced around the hallway as she found her way to Branch's door and thought the place could really need a new coat of paint and maybe some pictures of puppies and kittens, everyone loved seeing puppies and kittens! Glancing at the slip of paper Branch had hastily wrote his apartment number on, she found the correct door and knocked in tune to her song.

She heard a muffled 'In a minute' and figuring he had all however many extra locks locked up -he could be so paranoid the dork- leaned against the wall with her phone to wait for him. Making a quick post on all her accounts to tell all her wonderful followers about the excitement happening, Poppy started to scroll though her feed to pass the time, swaying in time to her humming. After a few moments a shadow was suddenly looming over her and she glanced up to see a large man standing next to her.

"Well hey there, Girly~ Never seen ya here before." He said, leaning a hand on the wall.

"Hi! I'm Poppy!" She beamed, "I'm just here waiting for my friend."

"Heh, well how 'bout I...entertain ya till this friend shows up, eh?" He leered closer, musty breath fanning into her face, "The backroom of the lobby is nice and cozy."

"Back off, Griff." Branch's familiar growl echoed as he suddenly appeared between Poppy and the man.

"Oh-ho! Why should I? She ya girlfriend?"

Branch sputtered, "What?! No!"

Poppy smiled and placed her hands on Branch's shoulders, "But I am his friend! And his new roommate! I'm here to help him move!"

Griff snorted, "Shackin' up with a girl, huh? Heh, sure she ain't ya girlfriend?"

Branch growled and tried to fight down the blush he felt rushing to his cheeks, "Just leave us alone, alright? I'm moving just like you wanted."

"Che, whatever. Good riddance." Griff then lumbered off down the hall leaving the new roommates alone.

"Bye! Have a good day!" Poppy cried after him.

Huffing, Branch grabbed her arm and dragged her into his apartment, "You do realize he was trying to come onto you, right?"

"Psh, oh please, Branch." Poppy said, flapping her hand in the air, "I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself and would've been fine. And can't you just be nice for once?"

"No."

Heaving a fond sigh and rolling her eyes, Poppy glanced around the fairly barren apartment, seeing nothing but a few boxes and an old mattress, "Oh...wow. This, uh....this all you have?"

"Pretty much." He had to sell whatever secondhand furniture he had to make rent sometime ago.

"Well...At least it'll only take us like one or two trips to get in loaded in my car!" She proclaimed, finding the bright side of things, like always. "Say, what's in here?" She asked suddenly, going to open a lid of a box.

Branch slammed his hand down on the lid, "Nothing important."

"Aww, come on, Branch. Let me see! I promise not to tell if it's embarrassing~"

It was embarrassing but like hell was he going to let her see it was his collection of all the invitations she had given him, "It's just personal stuff, alright?"

"Fiiine." Poppy pouted before glancing at the some of the other boxes, "What's all these?" She grabbed an unopened can of beans and grimaced at the date, "Dude, these are all expired, you know that right?"

"They are not." He tapped the top, "Those are just the purchase by dates, they haven't been open so they're still good. As for what this is all for, is provisions of course. Food, water, medical supplies all in case of an emergency."

Poppy snorted, "What kind of emergency? Zombie Apocalypse?"

"Maybe. You just never know."

Giggling, she placed the can back in the box, "Okay, fine. You can bring your 'Emergency Supplies' but you're going to have to freshen some of the stuff up."

Branch rolled his eyes and grabbed a couple boxes, "You'll be grateful for them when there's a zombie outbreak, just wait."

Poppy merely laughed in response as she lifted some boxes and started taking them out the door.

                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been easy enough to fit Branch's minimal possessions in Poppy's hot pink Volkswagon Beetle before leaving the decrepit apartment building behind and Branch couldn't help heaving a silent sigh at finally being out of that place. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all? Minus having to keep his feelings in check and to try to not watch every little thing she did with that adorable passion she had and to keep from spouting all the poetic words that wanted to spill out right this very moment for giving him this opportunity and-Nope! Branch growled to himself to stop thinking like that and stared out the window, trying to ignore the way Poppy bopped her head to the music playing on the radio and sang along.

He watched the old, grey and crumbling buildings of his old neighborhood meld into the better part of the city as they drove to Poppy's apartment complex. Bright shops and businesses flew by and Branch made a mental note to work out a new bus system for himself now that he'd be living somewhere new. Soon they turned into a parking lot and parked in front of a cheery, tall white building with sparkling windows and vibrant foliage surrounding it. Branch quietly appreciated it's curb appeal as he got out of the car, this was defiantly a place fitting for the pinkette dancing around the front of the car.

"Ok, so! Do you want to see the place first and then come back for stuff? Or start taking stuff up now?"

"Might as well start taking things. Get this over with."

Poppy gave him an exasperated look as she gently smacked his arm, "Oh, stop acting like this is the end of the world. This is gonna be great!" She weaved around him to go unlock the trunk before grinning wildly and jumping up and down, "Creek! Over here!"

Branch's almost relaxed state vanished as he turned with a scowl to watch the person he disliked most casually walk over. Creek Ophir, who wore bright, eye burning yellow pants, sandals, had the worse combination of teal and green ombre hair and was always spouting something about 'spiritual enlightenment' had been a thorn in Branch's side since middle school. He hadn't even done anything to him, they just never got along and it never did Branch's poor heart any good to see just how happy Poppy became in the presence of the 'guru'.

"Why the hell is he here?"

Unlucky for Branch, Creek had heard that, "Why, I simply came over to help Poppy move in her new roommate of course. No need to be so hostile, Mate." He then smiled at Poppy, "And hello, Poppy."

"Hi~!" She chirped, "And, Branch, chill. This will go faster with three people verses two."

Branch scoffed and reached inside the tiny car to grab the few boxes they fit into the backseat, it wouldn't have taken them that long, he barely had anything! Grumbling to himself and wishing Creek would just disappear, Branch followed Poppy as she skipped up to the building, leading the way into the lobby and to the elevator. A short ride later found them on the sixth floor and Poppy led the way to her apartment.

Dropping the boxes in her hands by the door, the pinkette danced in placed as she rummaged around in her sparkly teal purse for her keys. Laughing in success, she pulled out a keyring full of mostly silly keychains and jiggled them as she unlocked the door. Dropping them back into her purse, Poppy picked the boxes back up and bumped open the door with her hip as she declared brightly, "Ta-dah! Welcome to your new home, Branch!"

Rolling his eyes at her dramatics, Branch followed in after her and took in where he'd be living for an indefinite amount of time. The front door opened into a small foyer overflowing with Poppy's shoes and a cluttered end-table before leading out into the open concept living room and kitchen. The kitchenette was small but not cramped and looked like it had pretty good counter space between the oven and fridge, with a little more on the other side where the sink sat in the island/bar. Branch set his boxes on the table that was butted up against the island and covered in various magazines and colorful binders as he looked at the living room portion.

Cozy and warm were the best way to describe it with it's pale blue couch (overflowing with multi-colored cushions), bright pink armchair (was that a giant stuffed animal peeking over the top?) and beanbags sitting around a scrapbook and glitter covered coffee table. A decently sized wide-screen TV sat across the wall, surrounded by game consoles and racks full of movies and games. Shelves and pictures covered the walls, each overflowing with bits of Poppy's personality and her love for her friends. Branch couldn't help but feel a little out of place in this brightly colored apartment as he looked around at Poppy's life.

"Soooooo," Said young woman drawled as she watched her new roommate look around, "What'cha think?"

"It's...bright." He grimaced, "And do you ever clean up around here? There's clutter everywhere."

Poppy placed her hands on her hips, "Excuse you, it has a healthy lived in feel, thank you very much!"

"Now, now, let's not let any negativity ruin such a...fun occasion, shall we?" Creek said as he sat a large box on the counter, "Branch, mate, there's no need to be so judgmental. And, Poppy, Love, you have a very unique way of letting yourself be captured in everything you do. Don't let anyone ever tell you to do different."

Poppy giggled as she grinned at Creek, "Oh, I know~ But thank you for saying that."

Branch gagged before gesturing to the small hallway he could see, "I'm going to go put this in my room."

"Oh! Right!" Poppy grabbed her boxes again and flounced down the hall, "This way~!"

"I think I could've found it on my own, Poppy."

"Says the one that couldn't find me when we played hide n' seek when we were kids ever."

Branch blinked at the sudden callback to their childhood but didn't let that stop him from replying, "For your information I let you win." She never had to know he actually had the worse time finding her and she was as good as she thought she was.

"Ha! Sure~ Anyway!" She hip checked the door at the end of the hallway open, "Here you go!"

The room was decent size, able to fit the full-sized bed in the corner plus the dresser and desk already in there nicely. The bed was made with soft looking periwinkle sheets and the window had some gentle blue curtains framing it. There was also what looked to be some overflow of Poppy's craft supplies in there but all in all it was a nice looking room, it was just missing a bookcase. Although it was shockingly bare compared to the rest of the apartment.

"I'll get the rest of my stuff out, don't worry." Poppy said as Branch sat his stuff down on the bed.

"That would be good." He snarked instead of saying thank you like a normal person would.

Poppy stuck her tongue out at him before turning around, "Let's go get the rest of your stuff, yeah? Then you can 'Branch' up the room to your liking."

"Haha." He replied as he followed her out and back down the picture filled hallway glancing into both the bathroom and her room as they went by. A lot of pink was all he managed to see.

They came back to the living room to find Creek plucking cans out of Branch's ration box and placing them on the counter. He looked up with that stupid condescending smirk of his when he noticed them, "You do know most of these are expired, yes?"

"That's what I told him."

Branch rolled his eyes, "And I told you they're rations and as long as they aren't opened or the cans dented they're fine. Those dates are just when they should be sold by. Now let's go get the rest of my stuff."

As Branch stormed out the door, Poppy couldn't help shaking her head, "He can be so touchy about things."

"Well some people are just like that. The thing to remember is to not let their life choices effect yours." Creek smiled at her, "And do be sure not to eat anything is these cans, I don't want to hear you've gotten sick."

"Don't worry, I'm gonna make sure they get replaced." Poppy giggled. She then bounced up and kissed him on the cheek, "And thanks so much for helping today~"

"Not a problem, Sweet~"

Giggling some more, Poppy skipped out the door with Creek following to go catch up with Branch at the elevator. He frowned at them before pressing the down button and waiting for the doors to open. Once inside, Poppy bounced and sang softly between Creek and Branch before suddenly exclaiming, "Oh!"

"What?" Branch asked, without thinking.

"I almost forgot!" She pulled her phone out of her pocket before suddenly wrapping her arm around Branch's neck and smooshing their faces together, "Selfie~!"

She snapped a picture just before Branch could pull away, "What was that for?!"

"Duh, to commemorate the occasion." She said as she typed away on the small screen, "Gotta post an update on the moving day for the followers."

"Huh?"

"Don't you follow social media, Branch?"

"No. I use the computers at school for homework and real news." And maybe some conspiracy video's now and again, just to know what to look out for.

Rolling her eyes, Poppy pocketed her phone, "Social media is news. Oh! We should make you an account on Instagram or Twitter! Wouldn't that be fun? You could follow me and the rest of the Snack Pack!"

"No."

"Aw, come on. You'd love it."

"No, I wouldn't."

"Yes, you would."

"No."

"Yes."

Creek chuckled at their childish banter, "You know, Branch, Poppy's right. I'm sure you could find something pertaining to your...unique tastes."

Glowering at Creek as they exited the elevator, Branch growled, "No."

"You don't have to be such a stick in the mud, Branch. Posting is fun! And so is vlogging!"

"Ah, yes. Poppy is quiet the known vlogger. She's fairly popular on Youtube, then again it is very hard not to love her."

"Creek~" Poppy giggled.

Branch gagged again as he went toward her brightly colored car, "You do know that there could be anyone behind those so called 'followers' right? Serial killers, rapists, sicko's with a weird fetish! And you're just giving away your personal information like it's nothing!"

"Oh please, you worry too much. And I know not to trust everything on the internet, I'm not stupid, Branch. Also I'm surprised you know what a vlogger is."

"I've heard Bridget and Gristle gush about it before." And he wasn't a complete idiot, just because he wasn't into keeping up with social media didn't mean he hadn't seen a vlog or two. He just didn't get them. "Let's just finish this up."

Another trip up to the apartment was all it took to finish getting his things in and Branch was ready to unpack and to try and ignore the personified sunshine he now lived with. However, Poppy had other plans as she stopped him before he could retreat into his new room.

"Before I forget again..." She started before pulling something out of her pocket with a flourish, "Dah! Dah! Da-dah! Your key! You are officially my roommate now."

She dropped the key into his hand and he couldn't help tilting his head as he looked at the wink face emoji key cap she had added, "...Thanks."

"No problem~" She giggled.

"Well, as fun as this has been, I'm afraid I must be going." Creek spoke up, "I have a yoga class to get to."

"Oh! Of course!" Poppy skipped over to him, "I'll walk you out. Be right back, Branch. No disappearing into your room yet! We're gonna do some roommate bonding when I get back!"

"What?" He asked but they weren't listening as they walked out the door.

Rolling his eyes and deciding to ignore whatever 'roommate bonding' Poppy had in mind, Branch turned to head down the hallway but something on one of the shelves lining the wall caught his eyes. Wandering over, Branch stared in disbelief at the old, dingy and dinged up cowbell that Poppy had kept with her all throughout elementary and middle school. He couldn't believe she had the stupid thing, he had thought she had finally grown out of it in high school but apparently he was wrong.

Now sort of curious, Branch looked though her collection of pictures, seeing snapshots of her life. Most of them had her main group of friends in some variation, while others held her and people she clearly had charmed with her sunny personality. There were shots of people partying, playing games, her dad of course, Branch was even surprised to see one of him and her. Her seven year-old self was smiling widely, freckles gleaming in the sun with arms wrapped tightly around his ten year-old self, who was smiling just as brightly as he held onto her with one arm, the other holding a first place trophy from the science fair he had entered. Branch let himself remember that moment for a second, back when things were happy and uncomplicated but snapped out of it as he heard Poppy come back inside.

"Hey~ What'cha lookin' at?"

Unwilling to admit what he been thinking about, Branch picked the most random thing he saw sitting innocently before him, "This. Why the hell do you have a dressed up troll on your shelf?"

"Hey!" She came over and picked up said troll, cradling it gently in her hands, "Don't diss Princess Poppy. As princess of the trolls she has to look her best."

Branch snorted, "You named it after you?"

Pink hair flew around her as Poppy shock her head, "No, you did. Don't you remember that you gave her to me?"

Now that she mentioned it, he did vaguely recall presenting a younger Poppy with the toy, "Not really, no."

Rolling her eyes, Poppy placed the treasured item back in her spot, fluffing the hair a little, "Well I do. And she's still one of my favorite gifts from you. Along with these~" She gave the rainbow bangles a little shake to call attention to them, "Anyway~" She sang, "I was thinking since it's still pretty early in the day why don't we go to the store as our first roommate bonding experience?!"

Branch gave her a deadpan look, "I'd rather unpack."

"Aw, come on!" She whined, twirling around him and tugging on an arm, "You can unpack later, we need groceries! Cause let me tell you, mister, I am not sharing my Lucky Charms with you." She playfully wagged a finger at him.

"Like I would touch that sugary junk."

"Exactly! We gotta get you some boring cereal. And some bread...chocolate chips...eggs...maybe some mayo, I gotta check."

Branch stared at her as she fell into thought, finger poised by her chin, "When was the last time you went grocery shopping?"

"Eh, it's been a little while yet. Hence why it's a good time to go!"

"So you're using 'roommate bonding', as you call it, as an excuse."

"No!" She crossed her arms and pouted at him, "I think this'll be a fun first experience for us, I've always had fun going with my previous roommates. Plus come on, when was the last time you ate real food?"

"I eat real food!"

"That didn't come from a can!"

"Uggg!!" Branch groaned before throwing his hands into the air, "Fine, we'll go!"

"Yes! This'll be great! Trust me."

                                              ~*~*~*~*~*~

A little while later, they returned burdened with more groceries than Branch thought they'd get from a very...eventful trip to the store. After Poppy had managed to force him on camera to introduce him to all her 'wonderful subscribers', they had gone from practically corner to corner of the store as Poppy kept remembering things she either wanted or they actually needed. Branch had tried to stick to just a few things but after a brief argument over wither getting just canned soup counted as grocery shopping or not, he had relented and actually picked a few things he hadn't allowed himself to have in a few months.

He'd be lying to himself if he said he wasn't just a little happy to have fresh pears and peaches again, plus the small chocolate bar he snuck past his new roommate.

Getting everything put away now was an even bigger event as Poppy, who just couldn't seem to slow down for a second, put on some bubbly pop song and was dancing around the kitchen as Branch tried to figure out where she liked to put things. Her cabinets were a seemingly random host of things that had no rhyme or reason to being stored together. Branch made a mental note to reorganize everything soon so it would be easier to find certain things, for both of them.

"Show the room what you can do, Prove to them you've got the moves, I don't know about you, But I feel better when I'm dancin, yeah, yeah~" The pinkette sang before hip checking Branch, "Come on, Branch! Sing with me!"

"No. I don't sing."

"Oh please, you use to sing all the time when we were kids." She responded as she tossed a boxed of cereal into the cabinet.

"Well I don't anymore."

"Gah! Such a spoil sport." Poppy groaned before suddenly jumping in place as her phone rang, interrupting the music, "Hello? Oh, hi Satin! Really?! A party?!"

Branch rolled his eyes, wondering if there was ever a time where Poppy wasn't excited about a party, and continued shuffling groceries into their places. At least he'd get a few hours to center himself in this new place since she was sure to go.

"Of course I'll be there! When am I not?!" She nodded along with whatever Satin was telling her before replying, "Okay~! Meet ya at your place in twenty!" Then as she hung up, she grinned at Branch, "Branch. My man. How would you like to go to a party tonight? Eh? Eh?"

"No." He was not going to let her drag him to any parties anymore now than before their living arrangement.

"Pleeeease?!" Oh god, she was trying to puppy dog eyed look again.

"No, Poppy." He growled, glaring at her, "No parties means no parties!"

"Oh fine." She pouted before glaring back at him, "Gesh, I was just trying to get you to lighten up a little. As your friend and now roommate it is my duty to make sure you're living life to it's fullest!"

"No, it's not." He waved her off toward the door, "Now go. I'm looking forward to unpacking in peace."

"Fine, fine." She sighed, rolling her eyes before rushing into her room to grab her make-up bag before flying to the door, "Bye~! Happy to have you as my new roommate even though you're still a grumpy troll~!"

"Don't come back drunk!" He shouted but the door had already slammed shut behind her.

Sighing, Branch finished putting away their food before wandering to his room and sliding down to the floor, back against the bed frame. Tilting his head back, he groaned and wondered how he was ever going to survive living with the tornado that was Poppy Meadows. Reaching for his backpack after a moment, he grabbed a notebook and opened it to a blank page and begun to pen down the words that had been swimming in his head since seeing that old picture of the two of them. That woman just had no idea what she did to him and now he'd have to be extra careful not to let any of his unrequited feelings show. She believed them to be friends and he wasn't about to ruin that with his stupid, messy feelings.

Groaning once more, Branch really hoped he wouldn't regret living with her.

                                               ~*~*~*~*~*~

I swear I either focus too much on certain details and then not enough on others but then again maybe it's just me as the beta has given this chapter a pass *shrugs* I don't really wanna write Creek I be honest but he's necessary for what little plot I have so.... Also the Snack Pack will be coming in next chapter! I have not forgotten them! I'll also make sure to try and add more snark between Branch and Poppy, like I said still getting the hang of them. c:

Read and Review!

Song Credit: Better When I’m Dancin’-Meghan Trainor

[pisati]

I suppose it's a product of the society we live in, but I feel messed up in some ways for not wanting my own children. Not liking babies, not even really thinking they're cute. Being terrified of pregnancy. I almost wish I could be 'normal' about it, in the same way I sometimes wish I could be 'normal' about sexual attraction and drive. It would make things so much less complicated, feels like. I looked it up. Just a few scattered articles about women who don't want children (some of which say "it's perfectly normal!"). A lot of the justifications some of these women give are... honestly really pretentious. Some of these people just think babies are plain gross. And they can be; they're little poop machines, they puke, they blow mucus everywhere... but I saw one article that was like "they're gross and inconsiderate and selfish" like... fucking duh? They're infants. They don't know how to control their bodily functions quite yet and they don't know how else to communicate their needs. "You're a baby. You have nothing to do. If you're tired, just sleep instead of crying about it" like how fucking stupid are y'all? Have you ever tried falling asleep when you're tired but your brain just won't let you? Did it occur to you that infants have to learn things as basic as the concept of object permanence, and maybe they cry when they're tired because they just don't know what else to do about it? Being tired fucking sucks. Even at 25 I sometimes get so tired I want to cry. Fuck off. And "inconsiderate"?? As if babies have even the slightest concept of "considerate"? They are wired to survive. To need their parents to provide for them. That is what they know how to do. "Considerate" is learned. God. Those things are not an issue I really have with babies. I get kind of secondhand embarrassed when babies do stupid things, but I understand they're learning. I get super grossed out by the idea of diaper blowouts and spit-up and faces covered in snot and every food they try to ingest, but... I know if that were my child it'd be a little easier to deal with. I'm fine with my pets' bodily functions, I don't see why, if I loved something enough, it should really be a problem. Some people don't get that. But they say they love their pets in a way they don’t care for children; makes me wonder how they actually treat them. Some people think babies are life-ruiners, but of course they're going to be if they're not wanted, you absolute fucking morons. They are work. Some women love being a mom but hate motherhood, and that's understandable. Some people don't want to give up their careers, because honestly, raising children is a full-time job in itself. Babies maybe won't ruin your life's work, but they certainly can derail it and be a weight you have to carry around for a lifetime. Not everyone is ready to commit to that. But that's not an issue I seem to have with them either. If I wanted them, they'd be worked into my future plans. It wouldn't be ruining my life if that was the way I wanted my life to go, you know? The people that think it's the worst thing that could happen to their career... shouldn't have them, lmao. Those kids are going to grow up knowing they're resented. Knowing that you had things you wanted to do with your life, until they came along. They're going to feel like a burden on you, and you’ll probably take out your regret on them at some point. Your feeling like you "need" to have a child because of societal expectations doesn't trump the wellbeing of the child you're bringing into this world. There's the tantrums. The crying, the screaming, the not listening to reason. That's one thing I can actually agree with. I can't deal with babies crying. Some say that the cry of a baby draws people in; it makes mothers want to go to them and comfort them. I have the opposite reaction. I hear a baby crying, I want to get far away from it. I don't think I'd be very good at perceiving a baby's needs. They wouldn't stop crying, I'd get impatient and frustrated. You can't reason with a crying infant, you have to find the off switch by guessing at which needs aren't being met. I wouldn't be able to deal with tantrums or an indignant child, but I feel like any child of mine would know better than to give me the business. Who knows, though? Who knows what I'd end up with? I was a good kid. Afraid of consequences, sensitive, obedient, for the most part, if not a little stubborn (ok, very stubborn). What if my kid was the exact opposite? What if no matter how much love I gave them, no matter how attentive I tried to be towards their needs, no matter how many lessons I tried to teach them, they ended up a little brat? A gigantic asshole? God forbid, a white supremacist or some other horrible thing? Sometimes people really do their best and still it doesn't matter.

I just. I don’t have those instincts towards babies. I really don’t. I wish I did, sometimes. But that’s just not how I was wired. They scare me too, possibly because of unfamiliarity, but more because I don’t have the energy or the money to be as good of a parent as I’d want to be for an infant.  I do think I have maternal instincts though. I know I try to take good care of my rats and I love caring for them. Spoiling them, making sure they have what they need, making sure they're happy and healthy. I can't see myself ever not having pets. But by that same token... just thinking about it. I've been saying for a while now that I think my maternal instincts are misdirected towards animals instead of humans (ha ha), but I don't think that's actually true. My heart breaks for older children in the foster system-- older children being kids that aren't babies. Any child in the foster system, of course, but I’m more drawn personally to the older ones. Kids that have known abusive parents or never even knew who their parents were, kids that grew up in foster care, bouncing from place to place, knowing they don't really have a family. Children have a lot of needs growing up, and emotional needs are a big one that people sometimes overlook. Kids can get hurt, bad. They feel a lot of things, and deeply. I remember being a kid myself, and I was always one to feel things extraordinarily strongly. I remember dad got me two Polly Pocket sets for.. maybe my birthday one year. And I'd thrown out the little plastic insert that one of them was packaged with-- you know, just opening a box, discarding the packaging. And I realized later that the insert would've been perfect for keeping the little rubber doll pieces organized, and the regret over having thrown it out hurt so bad I cried. Like... kids are growing and they're complicated and I can't even imagine having that made harder by parents or lack thereof. Knowing that kids are growing up in those conditions makes me want to take them in. Like my friend’s family, who’s taken in a whole bunch of foster kids and adopted them all. I'd want to bring a child home, and let them know that this is their home and would always be their home. Give them some stability on a fundamental level. Show them love they may not have received yet. Do their hair, have little makeover days, movie nights, game nights, craft nights. Surprise them with things they like, watch their face light up knowing they're listened to and cared about. Listen to them talk about their interests, try to guide them towards things that make them happy; spark that interest and let them explore and grow; not try to mold them any way I think they should be. Help them with homework, work through problems together, because lord knows I'd probably struggle with some of them too. Hope they'd trust me enough to come to me with emotional issues-- not like how I could never talk to my mom about boys. Try to help them heal from whatever trauma they may have experienced. I don't know how I'd handle behavioral issues, if that were to happen, but I know the best course of action is educating myself and trying to be understanding. I do think I'd be a good mother. Just not to an infant, lmao When I was still in school, I'd let my rats run around my apartment during playtime. I'd leave my plastic shopping bags on the floor in the kitchen once I'd put groceries away, because I knew Jay liked to hoard them under my couch. And sometimes I'd take my phone flashlight and look around under there at the mess he made. I wouldn't touch it (until cleaning day came, usually, or unless there was a receipt I realized I needed). I'd just look at the organized chaos his little rat brain told him to create. I was witnessing the physical manifestation of his personality-- something he created himself. He put those bags right where he wanted them, and I could hear him rustling around down there sometimes, arranging them how he liked. He would grab mouthfuls of food and stash them in piles under the couch too, in specific places. I think I'd be the type of person to do the same for a child. I couldn't ever tell them what to do or how to be, necessarily. I'm sure I'd just marvel at anything they created; anything their mind produced. I'd want to know them for them, and love them just the same, even if they were nothing like me. Hell, I'd probably be happy if they were nothing like me (in some regards). Reminds me of that scene from Ladybird. I just. I wish that you liked me. Of course I love you. But do you like me? I want you to be the very best version of yourself that you can be. But what if this is the best version? Parks & Rec: I love you and I like you. One day I'll be able to say that. I hope.

[sleepymarmot]

DS9 season 1 liveblog

[Season index: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 PS]

Emissary

Wait, "kidnapped for six days"? I thought the timeframe was much tighter...

I hope Kira won't always overact so much.

I like how quickly Sisko can go from barely contained cold hatred to cheerful manipulation.

Bashir's LITERALLY FIRST LINE is flirting! I'm honestly impressed :D

Bwahaha, tell him, Kira!

...Did O'Brien change back into his old uniform just to visit the Enterprise? 

O'Brien now talks to computers just like Geordi.

Is this show going to regularly use baseball as a metaphor, like TNG did with poker? :D

This episode is a much better take on explaining humanity to an alien than "Encounter at Farpoint".

Past Prologue

The entire opening scene is just delightful -- does that even need saying?

Why does O'Brien feel so strongly about not giving the guy to the Cardassians? Has Chain of Command happened already?

Ooh, is this the encounter with the Duras sisters that will be referenced in TNG season 7, or are they going to visit DS9 again?

"Klingons have an odd sense of style, don't you agree?" -- Nah, only those two.

Drinking game: a shot every time Garak says the word "simple".

I didn't expect the show's second story to be so good!

A Man Alone

...Is every episode going to open with a scene where an older person on whom Bashir crushed within five seconds of their screentime is standing behind him and touching his shoulders?

I'm confused again, isn't the O'Brien kid a bit too old?

"Killing your own clone is still murder" -- Was this episode deliberately written as a fuck-you to Up the Long Ladder, or is it just a lucky coincidence?

Babel

What a beautiful script lol

Why aren't they at least trying to build a linguistic database? That was my first idea...

Captive Pursuit

"I'm not a barkeep" Well now I want an AU with Quark as Mrs Hudson...

"They've reversed the polarity of our shields" Sorry I just cannot take this phrase seriously...

Oh ffs, not the Prime Directive again!

Wow, this show really likes O'Brien...

Q-Less

I love the guest appearances from TNG characters! It really helps to establish the show as part of the same continuity.

Q and Vash's Doctor-companion dynamic gives me life.

Oh no, the Ferengi handjobs are back, I was wondering when it would happen...

"I like your new tailor" I thought Q meant Garak, not the change in Starfleet uniforms...

"But it's not going to be the same without you. When I look at a gas nebula, all I see is a cloud of dust. Seeing the universe through your eyes, I was able to experience wonder." I'M DYING THIS IS LITERALLY THE DOCTOR'S LINE

Dax

I was looking forward to this one! But I didn't expect the "how Trills actually work, let's forget about The Host" story to be presented as a courtroom episode, that's pretty clever.

Ah, of course whenever they talk about Dax's past relationship with a woman, they switch to third person and male pronouns -_-

I thought the wife was the murderer.

The Passenger

God, don't they have filters or oxygen masks or anything like that? 

Yoo, a possession episode! This is endearing: TNG season one sometimes felt like revisiting TOS stories with a new cast, this season does the same to TNG.

Move Along Home

Does a fourteen year old really need a strict bedtime?

Kidnapping people is easy with transporter technology -- but how does one change their victims' clothes in the process?!

Quark's breakdown was unexpected; I suppose there'll be a follow-up on that?

The Nagus

Jake and Nog's friendship is very heartwarming.

Vortex

I'm glad to learn more about Odo, but wasn't this episode kinda cheesy?

Battle Lines

Yess, more Kira drama

Let me make a guess: this will be important in the season finale?

The Storyteller

You know that post "Have you ever accidentally befriended someone who was extremely annoying"? It needs to be on a screenshot of O'Brien and Bashir from this episode.

Progress

Kira's subplot is like an unholy hybrid between The Survivors, Ensigns of Command/Journey's End, and Preemptive Strike. Plus, that guy looks like Hannibal Lector.

Jake and Nog's subplot is giving me a bit too much secondhand embarrassment.

"I'm going to tell Minister Toran that she's remained temporarily on Jeraddo at your request" "But sir, that isn't true" "Make it true, Doctor. Now, please" lmao Sisko's methods are... interesting.

He gave a good speech to Kira in the next scene, too.

I'm glad it worked out well for the kids :D I kind of expected the two plots to tie together at the end -- like the old man settling on the piece of land they bought.

If Wishes Were Horses

"Waste of time. Too many people dream of places they'll never go, wish for things they'll never have, instead of paying adequate attention to their real lives." Are you calling all of your viewers out, Odo?

A bit too much technobabble, but funny! I thought this would be not just about imagination, but about youth. The imaginary characters are conjured up by a three year old, a fourteen year old, and by Julian whose immaturity is even commented upon in the cold open.

The Forsaken

Oh... oh my god... it's her

Why is her hair pink, anyway

O'Brien's talking to the computer right after opening credits, just after Majel Barrett's name appeared on screen -- are they doing this on purpose?

this orange hair is even worse

"You are the thin beige line between order and chaos" I'm dying what kind of compliment is this

Odo's grumpiness re: humanoid mating rituals is beautiful

"Every 16 hours I turn into a liquid" "I can swim"

Hello fanfic trope :D

Yes, Odo, I was making the same faces during the episode she's recalling

"Do you hear it?" "Hear what?" The voice" ARE THEY REALLY DOING THIS

"Like a baby" I'd say, more like Lwaxana

"It came here when we downloaded the probe's files. If we upload those same files back to the probe, it might go with them" That's... not how it works...

Universal acceptance is a lovely and very plausible other side of the coin to Lwaxana's eccentricity and odd taste. I've grown to appreciate that. She's always so obnoxious at the beginning of the episode, I completely forget about her sensitive side and she manages to surprise me every time.

wait, so she's been canonically wearing wigs in all those TNG episodes?

Dramatis Personae

Wait, is the infirmary right across the corridor from Quark's bar?

Bashir is acting very strangely

Alright, the question is "who isn't acting strangely"

Is Kira trying to flirt with Dax?

Bashir really won the temporary personality lottery. Everyone else became unlikeable and he just Lives For The Drama. I mean, more than usual...

Will Odo often play this role of the only one unaffected by a disease, like Data did? But unlike Data, he can also manipulate people. I'm only now starting to appreciate that he actually is a "Constable". Very refreshing to see a security officer who's allowed to be smart.

Duet

Oooh, finally it's time for the Bajoran-Cardassian drama again!

The plot twist makes this episode remind me of The Defector even more... And I think it cheapens the conflict; what to do with a bureaucrat who hasn't personally committed atrocities is a difficult and morally grey area -- not so much if it's the Big Bad responsible for everything and proud of it

Alright, he's too hammy, is there another twist coming?

Nice, Dukat is getting nervous, that's a good sign. I love Odo the detective

Okay, but even under his real identity, wouldn't, like, a very public trial and broadcasting his story everywhere have some effect?

I... don't really like how this episode ends on a "Not all Cardassians / Some Bajorans are just prejudiced". Still, it's the strongest story in the season.

In the Hands of the Prophets

Ughhh religious fundamentalists...

Have I mentioned how uncomfortable it is that on this show people's ears are often grabbed with completely different connotations?

Oh god I'm just seething this is too real

The murder mystery is interesting!

I hate her so much

Call! Odo!! Or! Sisko!! Preferably both!!!

General impressions:

A surprisingly even season. There are no outright failures (unlike TNG's first and last seasons -- hell, probably unlike any TNG season) but it's rarely remarkable.

The interior and costume design is quite ugly, sorry to say.

It took me several episodes to adjust after the glorious remastered HD of TNG. Please remaster this show too!

Best character for dramatic scenes: Kira

Best character for lighthearted scenes: Bashir

Most underused character: Dax

Best duo: Odo and Quark (okay, there's not much competition so far, I just wanted them to have their own category)

If O'Brien is such a super engineering pro, why did he spend all these years on the Enterprise manning the transporter instead of being Geordi's right hand man or something?

I don't know what I think of Sisko yet. But I like him more than Picard in his first season.

[combefier]

I was tagged by @dreamingrain and @drschwa a long time ago but punctuality is a vague and menacing dream to me.

5 Things Meme

5 Things You’ll Find in My Bag 1. Two cheques that I forgot to cash despite putting them in my bag specifically for this purpose and spending 15 minutes at the bank yesterday. 2. Cinnamon gum so ancient that it sucks the moisture from your mouth. 3. Lots of napkins. I have a horrible aversion to wasting things/creating unnecessary garbage, so if I’m given a napkin I will hoard it for some mysterious future use. Bright side, if you ever spill anything on yourself while you’re around me, I got your back. 4. A flyer in French for a group promoting the rights of immigrant women that I got handed in Montreal in early November. I should really clean out my purse sometime. 5. At least three tubes of lipstick at any given time.

5 Things in My Bedroom 1. A floor only partially visible under the mess. 2. A mandarin I have been meaning to eat for at least two weeks. 3. Books everywhere, appearing in implausible places at inconvenient times. 4. Furniture that I have neither the room nor use for, but which continues to live in my room because my mother wants it and she hasn’t cleared out her room enough to have it there yet.  5. Flasks, some of which look like other objects.

5 Things I’ve Always Wanted to do in Life 1. Write and publish a book. 2. Travel. 3. Have an inadvisable number of cats. 4. Cover everything in glitter always. 5. Be lusted after.

5 Things That Make Me Happy 1. Friends. 2. Books. 3. Cats. 4. Whimsical onesies. 5. Loud music.

5 Things I’m Currently Into 1. Painting my nails pale colours. 2. This song like really too much. 3. Candles. 4. Desperately trying to finish watching Gilmore Girls which I don’t even particularly like but @dollylula started it and I’m so close and I’ve put so much time and cringing secondhand embarrassment into this and now I’m finally on the seventh season and if I just keep going I’ll finally be done with this hell and I’ll never have to watch Gilmore Girls again. 5. YA fiction.

5 Things on My To-Do List 1. Put away the pile of laundry I am currently using as a backrest. 2. Make a to-do list of things that need to be done to make my room habitable. 3. Write. 4. Do more laundry because laundry never ends and this is why we should never wear clothes. 5. Catch up on tedious work things I put off over the holidays.

5 Things People May Not Know About Me 1. I don’t have pierced ears. I briefly had my ears pierced when I was 17, but as I had never had pierced ears before, I didn’t realize that they were not supposed to be as red and swollen as they were, and they got very, very infected. We had to go to the hospital to have the doctor take them out because we couldn’t get at them; they were embedded in the swollen flesh of my earlobes. I got my lip pierced a couple of years later, but have never had the desire to revisit earrings. 2. I can’t lick my nose but I can lick the bottom of my chin. 3. I went through most of my male exes between the ages of 12 and 14 before tiring of the whole ordeal and largely ignoring them until I was 20. (And, after the one when I was 20, p. successfully purging them from my system.) 4. I have five of my friends’ handwriting tattooed on my body. 5. One of my first publications was a poem about how much I hated Avril Lavigne, published in Chart Attack’s letters section, when I was about 14, but I’ve long since lost the copy.

Tagging @paladinical, @delilahdiscord, @finnble, @watercolourstorm, @et-in-arkadia if any of them want to do this, and whoever wants to do this in general, if you wish I’d tagged you, pretend I did, notify me and I will add a tag to you in this post so we can all maintain the illusion. I can vouch for it as a fine way to pass the time when you’re supposed to be putting laundry away.

[weepingcoffeestudentfromhell]

Boys are falling for me- well more on top of me. . .

CHAPTER NINE:

Boys are falling for me- well more on top of me. . .

Catherine's Pov.

I spent the next few days trying to get the hang of the whole demigod thing.

I liked hanging with the Hermes cabin, especially for the camp activities, and I actually did pretty well in sword fighting (except for when I almost decapitated Percy), and I slowly got the hang of the lava wall, leaving with a few burns of course, and I found out one of my favorite things to do was ride the pegasi from the stables. I got a pretty cool one named Felicity, she had shining black fur and and dark mane, Even though I was having fun and all, I still felt left out because I never got claimed at any of the campfires or during the activities.

Each day more and more campers showed up and all of them got claimed at the fire. Percy and Anna tried to make me feel better about the whole situation every night, but nothing could. And all I could think was, am I not good enough? Am I too embarrassing or weak to claim? If any of these gods were my parents then what's the difference between me and all these other new kids? Do I just not belong here?

These thoughts consumed me all through the night and during activities, enough that I began to lose focus sometimes and I actually almost fell off the lava wall one day, but one of the campers on a pegasi caught me so I got away with just a scratch.

This only worried Anna and Percy more, I could tell by the looks in their eyes, but they never said anything and tried not to bring it up whenever we were together. It's sweet how they're trying to protect my feelings, but this really shouldn't be as big of a deal as I was making it.

So, after my first week there, I decide to let it go. If my parent didn't want me, then they didn't want me, I was use to it already. I found a home, and a family, and Chiron is enough like a dad to all of us, (Mr.D being the annoying uncle who never remembers your name), and I was happy with that.

>>>>>

Having a strange boy fall on me and a clifford sized dog attack me was not how I imagined my day going.

I was just enjoying polishing my sword after a hard workout. I was sitting in the dark shade of a tree next to the strawberry fields, when out of nowhere I heard someone yell-

"Look out!"

Next thing I know I feel weight crash down on my shoulders and I fall onto my side groaning.

I look up to see what the actual hades was on top of me, and saw a short, pale, boy wearing all black, groaning as he laid across my side. He held a dark blade which was stuck in the ground just inches from my stomach and his messy black hair was scattered everywhere.

"What the hades?" I yelled and he looked up with wide eyes as if he just noticed he fell onto someone.

"So-Sorry, sorry!" He shouted and immediately stood up, reaching an awkward hand down to help me up.

I huffed, taking his hand and crossing my arms over my chest once he let go. He coughed awkwardly and looked away, grabbing his sword out of the ground and sheathing it as Anna and Percy ran over.

"What's going on?" Anna said and then her eyes ran over the strange looking boy as he stood there with his gaze hidden. "Oh, Nico what are you doing here? I thought you left for a quest?"

"Nico how are you." Percy's face lit up with a smile and he walked over, giving "Nico" a hug. Said boy blushed and cleared his throat, awkwardly patting Percy's back a few times.

"I did, and now I'm back." He answered once Percy let go and he looked over at me apologetically. "I just got a little confused on my way back and accidentally shadow traveled onto this girl. Sorry again."

I huffed and looked at Anna incredulously who just laughed and rolled her eyes.

Nico looked at me oddly then at Anna who just shrugged her shoulders and sighed.

"She'll forgive you eventually, she's just stubborn." She explained to him and I gave her a look of betrayal. She rolled her eyes then walked over to my side. "Nico this is Catherine bancroft. Catherine this is Nico di Angelo, he's a demigod son of Hades, he lives here, but he only visits once in a while."

I sighed and finally looked Nico straight in the eye, sticking my hand out quickly. He flinched at my quick move and awkwardly took my hand before shaking it slightly and quickly letting go.

"Wait." I cocked an eyebrow and looked over at Anna. "I thought there weren't supposed to be children of the big three, except for Percy."

"That's what everyone says." The small emo boy mumbled and I kept my eyebrow arched as I looked back over to Anna.

"They're not. Nico, Thalia, and I are the only exceptions because our parents broke the oath, but Nico was born before the oath in the 1920's, then he was stuck in a time sucking casino for 90 years until he escaped with his sister. Now he's here and boom, child of the big three."

Percy answers my question and ends the whole thing with a shrug as if that was the most normal thing to say. Which it probably was here.

"Okay." I say like I completely understood that.

I didn't.

"So how long are you staying Nico." Anna asked as an awkward silence began to settle upon us.

"Only until the campfire." Nico huffed and looked back towards the tree in which he fell out of on top of me. "I still have some business to finish in the underworld."

Business in the underworld, okay steering clear of this guy for the rest of my life.

"Aw, that's a shame." Percy walked over and put his arm around Nico's shoulders. "Can you at least stay for the night? Your cabin was just finished and you haven't even slept in it."

"I don't really want to." Nico started, but cut himself off as Percy gave him a pouty lip and the poor small boy blushed, probably because of how awkward this is. I certainly felt like I was going to die from secondhand embarrassment.

"I-I, guess I can st-stay." He mumbled and Percy punched his fist in the air.

Just then the air horn blew fro lunch and {Percy walked over to Anna and grabbed her hands.

"See you guys later." Anna called as she and Percy walked towards the Pavilion.

"Um. . ." Nico mumbled as we were left alone and I coughed.

"Uh, I should probably head down now." I looked anywhere but at him and pointed towards where Anna and Percy walked off. "Don't want to be late or-"

Just as I was about to run off, I head a sudden noise and felt a chill before what felt like a semi slammed into me and I fell onto the ground, something large and black on top of me.

"WOOF"

And that something just barked.

"WHAT IS HAPPENING!?!" I shout, but it sounds muffled under as my face is under a mound of, fur?

"Mrs. O'Leary!?" Nico's shocked and slightly high pitched voice was heard above me and "O'Leary". "Come on girl, get off her!"

Finally I was once again reunited with fresh are. I took a deep breath, happy not to be squashed anymore, but then I felt something large, wet, and scratchy run up along my body.

The O'Leary licked me.

I finally looked up and what I saw kind of terrified me.

Now living there for the past three months, I've gotten used to the unusual popping up in Camp Half-Blood, but the fact that there was a gigantic black dog with beady red eyes was licking me and barking in my face, I felt a little weirded out.

"Is this a hellhound!?!" I yelped as it nudged me and licked up my side again.

"Yes, yes, but she's nice, no biting here, just a lot of licking." Nico rushed out and I looked up at the dog, just as she licked me straight across the face.

"Cute." I chuckled and finally stood myself up, brushing off as much of the dirt and slobber over my body and sighing. "I guess I should go take a shower and change, do you mind taking your dog and telling Chiron I'll be late to lunch."

"Oh I don't really-"

"Thanks." I waved off Nico and walked away quickly, rolling my eyes and sighing. "Never letting that happen again."