#i get it when i post it youll get it too (i hope you are lonely)
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I've gone back into an huge high school story hyperfix for No apparent reason for this past month and half so i decide to make a new tumblr! it's been a while since i've been in an fandom space so i decide to stick to an more niche(? i guess) fandom with not so many people still here as it's not as overwhelming for me.
these girls have been with me since 2013 and 2014 respectively with many many different changes! however their core characteristics have stayed the same.
(more info under the cut!)
i was planning on drawing them about a week ago buuut my drawing tablet has decided to die on me and my only drawings of them are from <2022. which isn't ideal. then i remembered a few days ago i can just create them on sims, so for the time being i'll use ts4 as a way to visualize them until i get a new tablet!
a little brief introduction to them -
vivienne is my high school story prime mc and she transfers over to berry high in her sophomore year. bc of this the timeline is a bit different to the canon one (especially since the choices games are canon to the original timeline) as in my tl hss prime takes course from her sophomore to senior year (there's NO way all the stuff that happens in hssp happens in one year!!! pixelberry u can not convince me otherwises!!!). side confession but despite hss/hwu being an defining part of me i've never touched choices... which means i've just never considered were those games would fit into my timeline. so i guess i'd consider my tl an au.
agnieszka or angel is my hollywood u mc who i miss dearly and i'll forever be torn up by the fact that hwu is unplayable now. she's vivienne half sister (vivi is a product of affair. there's A LOT of lore that i'll hopefully go into in later posts) and the two aren't aware of eachothers existence until around 2010. despite this angel loves the fact she has an younger sister, even in unconventional circumstances, and wishes to grow closer to her. vivienne is hesitant at first but by 2018ish they have a very good relationship!! sure it takes a while but the two had to overcome a lot when it comes to their family.
for the years vivienne starts berry high in 2013 and agnieszka starts hwu in 2014 (basically when the games came out). they don't start having an consistent relationship until about mid-to-late 2015.
also this is my first time doing character sheets that aren't heavily drawn so hopefully they aren't too hard to read/understand. this is all i'll say for now as i don't want this post to get too long! i'll drop more info abt them as this month goes by.
#high school story#hollywood u#hss prime#hwu#hss#pixelberry#hss mc#hwu mc#oc - vivienne#oc - agnieskza#my sims#i guess i can technically tag that#even if im not gonna be a simblr regular#i also use the be apart of the hss prime fandom back when the forums was still up#rip girl youll be missed#pixelberry when i CATCH you!!#also also note i did create all the other main 11 (whoa) characters on sims#but my dumbass forgot to send the ones without the psds on them over to my laptop#so i will not be able to post them until i get back home </3#living in an dorm is annoying#it took me a whole day too i did NOT get up once!! my butt almost fell off but i was committed#need to do the all stars + the hearst students next#for the lore and for my own self fulfilment#anyways i need to shut up and go to sleep#hello what is left of hss and hwu fandom... i hope i'll fit in here nicely
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#art summary#i have to clear out my phone. im hoping that if i remove all the nier rein screenshots ill have space#im almost certain its all the rein screenshots cause. they’re bigger than most pics and i had a lot#otherwise im not cooked but god i hope its that easy#i dont make resolutions but i hope i draw more next year#the problem with art summaries is youll have months where you draw a lot#months where yiu draw 10 good things and then every other month is empty#but you drew. so you cant look at art summaries with emoty months and get sad#but like i didn’t draw as much this year lmao too much going on in my head#i was gonna say i rarely drew but i draw so much more than the average person#what i really mean is i didn’t finish anything#i was in my dA gallery the other day and I really used to draw a fully colored piece everyday on high school#absolutely mad. and we (me and my friends) all used to do it#i just had a thought: a majority of my friends draw <- thoughts for later#i had to answer the door so I forgot what i was talking about#i think that. what i was getting at was that behavior really screws up what’s a healthy relationship with art?#like when you’re a kid you have time and when you’re inexperienced and don’t know you’re more forgiving on your mistakes#whereas now if i draw one thing a week thats a job well done to me. im so busy i can’t take it out on myself and i dont#and of course the sms algorithm but I don’t play with the algorithm#but yeah everyone i grew up drawing with friends or ppl i follow stopped drawing or just posting a lot and I’ve been thinking about it a lot#an artist i really like used to post a whole bunch of art dumps everyday. just doodles on different series and i loved seeing them#but they stopoed posting. working on being that kind of artist for me. we got xx art at home situation#if any of that makes sense
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Woah this is actually pretty sick
#just need to go into aviary inside where the floating defaukt mask is#bring the camera too#stand on the mask and make sure youre facing in the direction of the back of the mask#ass facing the direction of the front of the mask#level 3/4 slouch emote#dead on the ground#spin into the abyss#pull out your camera (to see) (or make a friend hold out their hand and get them to drag you out) and walk out the building#and voila your view will be set to a specific point at the bottom of the earth#in specific places youll see crabs#use the camera to move around or geta friend to drag you#the pic in the post is in forest temple#dw glitch wont cancel out when changing realms or going home#if the steps dont work then uhhh i dunno man this is what i did…#happy oobing lads#sky cotl#sky children of the light#sky oob#hope this makes sense LMAO
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#'well you cant win em all.' okay but i would like to win at least one!! (not my quote i swear ive seen it on tumblr just cant find it)#like i would kill for just one win. i would pay a crisp $10 to anyone that could provide a single win for me#today was yet another fucking loss and that was all i had lined up. like theres nothing set up to possibly be a win in the future#ive got nothing there. so weve ended on a loss and thats all i have for the foreseeable future#i counted all the wins and losses in recent memory. ive got like 13+ losses and about 1 win#i tried to count up all of my wins but truly i managed like. one.#even some things that i didnt know could become losses! like did you know you can just be refused an adhd reassessment?#like you can say 'id like to pay $160 for you to fuck up a diagnosis again' and they can actually say#'youre not even worth the trouble to misdiagnose so go fuck yourself'#but they can! i didnt know that#and then you can have the audacity to tey to hope for something and think youll get it. like hope a little too hard#truly shouldve lesrned my lesson after twelve losses in a row not to get my hopes up#but i did! i made plans! i was gonna buy a cute water bottle specifically for that job. snd take myself out to dinner if i got it#can you guess what happened? when i had the audacity to hope and plan for a job that i was so passionate about and wanted so much?#(i didnt get it. the job ive been posting about. didnt get it)#didnt get the apartment in the city i love and miss either. didnt get an adhd reassessment (which is still wild to me)#and i tried to frame them as better in my head. 'this is a chance to tey a different job youd be better at! this is a chance to save money!'#nope its just another shitty thing in a long line of shitty things and im just getting tired of it. im so fucking tired of it#i am back where i vowed id never come back to and i cant escape in any way shape or fucking form#just needed to vent because saying all this in my head wasnt helping. saying it here doesnt help either but whatever
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everyone say thank you ash @iinkstrike for posting the many bungo stray dogs i've written for her over the years onto ao3...no i have never watched bungo stray dogs. but of COURSE i will write the most bonkers fic for my bestie of all time ever. and yknow what. it goes hard. there's even a steven universe au in there.
#chatter#they really are so fun to write ash says 'okay heres my idea i hope its not too complicated' and i say do NOT even worry#and proceed to make the most wild universe of bungo fics ever.#i dont even know the actual correct name for it bc. again. i dont watch this show#but when the roleswap(????) fics get posted. then youll see#anyways THANK YOU ASH EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU ASH#helix my beloved helix
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people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh
#not like it makes a practical difference considering i only upload twice a year at best#but im realising how much my writing is shame motivated and its just not sustainable or healthy#it saddens me that these stories i invested So much time and effort into will probably never get finished#i wanna hold out hope that they will but#i dont want anyones expectations to be too high#bc knowing myself they probably wont#i started wgoin thinking that this would be the story i commit to finishing and not just abandon as soon as i get bored#but that was before i had really realised how my brain works#and for a while writing these chapters have felt very forced#gbgb had a much better run till it crashed and i was just unable to pick it back up#tbh that one could potentially still be saved bc of how open ended it is if i get any inspo for it back whatsoever#bc it had no strict plan i was entirely making it up as i go#and im realising thats how i write best. i tried to plan wgoin so id commit to finishing it but im realising that has the opposite effect#if i plan anything too thoroughly writing it becomes like gnawing on lead#cause i got all the dopamine out of the idea already#i write best when i have nothing but a vague idea or a vibe#gbgb crashed bc i ran out of vibes and ideas but if i find any again who knows#there is the possibility where i scrap the plan i had for wgoins entire plot and make the rest up as i go#which i might try purely bc i love the story sm#and i think i enjoyed writing it most back in the first three parts where i Was making it up as i went#which is why im saying indefinite hiatus instead of discontinued#bc there is hope for them. just not. much#so if u stick around maybe follow me on ao3 if u dont wanna see all my posts n just my stories#maybe in 3 years time youll see another wgoin notif or sumn#sorry to the small but dedicated handful of readers who really loved these fics#i wanted to write more for you guys bc ik its hard to find this kinda fic anywhere else; its why i started writing it#but i am but one unmedicated autist w severe adhd. we r working on the unmedicated part tho#ive learned so much abt how my brain functions now n how to make the most of it tho#i told myself id finish any new writing before i post it. so know anything new Will be complete :3#mischiefing time
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How cheesy are you with Pizza Tower?
cheesy as i can manage, really. i mean whats even the point of working with these characters if you're not gonna be cheesy
#my new cheesiest moment thats almost too much even for me is#in the current stuff im working on but i cant post that on its own bc its um. its uh. well! youll get it when you get it#truly dont know how to respond to asks like this#like you probably would have seen my stuff already to be sending me this so like you already know my amount of cheese#i feel like you guys send these hoping for a funny response but. i cannot be funny on command#im only funny within my own extremely specific setups sorry#you gotta send me like scenarios or discussion questions like its english class ow THAT i can work with
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@mid-n0vember thx for tagging me!
#the second one is so accurate tf#i need to see thesw blorbos in a specific setting or i will die (elevator troubles pts 1 and 2)#i thought about that canon plot hole and i think i have it fixed this time (dreams do come true)#the daydream i work on at night is getting really good you guys (every fic 2days before posting)#make! the! blorbos! kiss! (final coda)#my specific wants are not being catered to in the tags this is criminal (even gods cant change the past)#i get it when i post it youll get it too (i hope you are lonely)#ihyal is also the i need to write them in this specific setting or i will die!!!!#excellent excellent poll choices OP 2#and OP1#thx for tagging me!#moots#penpalling#bts with the writer#asks games
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staring at my google docs as if itll make me actually pick something to work on faster lmao. at this rate ill be posting Sagawa content before im even finished editing my kazumaji fics
#that being said. i hope youll all still respect me when those Sagawa fics go up bc its very obvious im down bad for him.#down horrenous even. its honestly impressive tbh like i hate him but also he says some shit and im just 🥴💕 whatever you say handsome#like. ive got one centered on the development of his and Majima's dynamic at day 1 of being out of the hole;#ive got a Goromi origins fic that hes found his way as a main character in;#and today i started kicking my feet and thinking about a 20s-30s aged Sagawa/Nishitani fic#what can i say. hes horrible but it makes him so interesting to throw into the mix.#all that aside idk if ill post the og Goromi fic I wrote. i wrote it then immediately started making a 2nd version of it bc i was like#its not often i get self conscious about my writing but i felt like the 1st version was a little *too* self-indulgent yknow what i mean?#idkidk i still love it dearly but i need to overcome that personal hurdle first i guess lmao#uhhh Sagawa rambling aside. i have alot of kazumaji content in varying stages of being complete including a longer chaptered fic#and some y6y0 content going both ways. its been alot of fun coming up with time travel mechanics/plot details#OH AND A Y0 GOROMI FIC BC I LOVE HER with Kiryu going mush over her <3#man i talk way more in the tags than i do in an actual post lmao oops?#bulletin board
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In the spirit of Christmas approaching, and as someone who prefers making gifts to buying them (for many reasons, the main two being that I love making things and forcing ppl to look at them and that I’m fuckin broke lmao), how do u think the 141 lads would react to receiving a gift from their spouse that was made by them? Like a drawing, something they knitted/stitched, or even a sculpture?
using this as my merry Christmas post so
merry Christmas and happy holidays yall<3 I hope ur having a great time and enjoying urself, sending much much love, mwah <3
cw: fluff, gn!reader + bonus what they would gift you
Price is a sucker for that stuff. handknit sweater? he'll wear that thing until it's barely more than a thread. nothing more cozy than something someone handmade with love specifically for him, nothing will ever be as comfy. that goes for anything handmade, he'll treasure it until he can't. nothing makes him feel more loved than anything handmade. hes has a hard time gifting things usually and will flat out ask and get what you asked for, but also add some stuff that he thought you might like. huge fan of practical gifts.
Gaz absolutely adores anything you make yourself, especially decorative items. paintings, stitching, sculptures, little trinkets, adores all of it with his whole heart. will keep everything with him, everything around the house/apartment. and he notices is somethings missing too, absolutely upset until he finds it again. he immediately finds a place for whatever you gave to him. kyle isnt really the one to gift materialistic things (sure, you get some jewelry or those new headphones you wanted) but he always gifts creative dates that he takes you on.
Soap is also a sucker for anything handmade. is a huge, huge fan of handmaking presents himself (he mostly draws, will 100% gift you a drawing too) and loves receiving them just as much. your skill level doesn't matter one bit, whether it be a patchy painting, a wonky mug or a sweater with holes, he'll proudly wear/display it and make sure you know just how much he loves it. as I said, you'll get a drawing - probably a portrait he secretly drew of you while you were doing the most mundane shit ever and he couldn't help but think you're gorgeous.
ghost is a secret christmas lover imo. colourful lights, christmas tree, sinple deco. he doesn't really want/ask for gifts, tells people there's nothing he wants when they ask. but listen: handmake him a balaclava. that man will propose to you on the spot. I'm so serious. appreciates any gifts he gets, especially handmade, keeps saying you shouldn't have, but that will make him fall hard. hes the type of guy where you think youll get a gift card at best, but you get almost anything you wanted but didnt get over the year. that cute mug? that sweater? those earrings? all yours, he remebered.
#cod mw#cod mw2#cod mwii#call of duty#cod#cod mw3#cod mwiii#gothghostiie#ask ghostiie#john price#John price x reader#price x reader#price#captain john price#captain price#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#kyle garrick#gaz#kyle gaz garrick#gaz x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#ghost#simon riley#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#John mactavish x reader
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my partner is dying
stage 3 lung cancer
not really sure where im going to go from here
not sure how much time i even have left
theres a lot of things i wanted to do with them and vice versa, some definitely wont happen now and others im just trying my best to have happen now in the ttime we still have together
theyre probably singlehandedly the most important person ive ever had in my life. finally gave me some direction to go with this honestly fuckass shitty little life ive been leading. used to talk to me about somewhere down the line moving in together and getting married when we're older and stuff
being totally honest, having tried as hard as i have to be happy, having finally felt like i was somewhere i wanted to be when they came into my life only for this to happen, im not sure what the point is gonna be once theyre dead
not sure what im gonna do
im just doing everything i can for them, no matter what it is, until the end comes
i hate this fucking planet
i dont know if i ever talk about whats actually happening in my personal life on this account but im not doing well
#i dont know why im saying all of this on this account#shes only 20 lol. god what the fuck#im just so disillusioned. ive clung on to hope for my entire life pretty desperately and it is 100% just fucking gone now#like no yeah sorry theyre right. this world is fucking cruel and awful actually#i guess if i suddenly vanish off the face of the planet by the end of the year youll all know why lol#that probably wont happen because im too much of a little bitch to go through with it#but once everything is over boy am i sure going to want to#im just keeping quiet about how much this is tearing me apart and doing my best to be here for them#unironically the last thing they need is to know how slowly depressed im getting again in real time lol#we were supposed to get better together#death /#doing trigger tags on this post feels insane because the internet feels so damn fake and the real world is so. well. real. right now#but also i know for a fact even i cant hear about death right now lol#and suddenly i understand way more why people tag that#'you have to face that part of life' just isnt the same when it's you whos lost someone or are going to#ive never felt more like an adult. which i know sounds weird but this is just so much compared to how problems before felt#a lot of everything was all in my head!!!! my ptsd and my anxiety and everything else. it was all coming from within and it could get bette#even my real world stuff like my grades. i struggle because of my adhd. it has always all come down to my brain in the end#but this is most certainly not that kind of problem. this is entirely out of my control. theres nothing i can do#truly the breakdown post of all time. do i get a medal for managing 6 hours of not crying today#..what am i supposed to do without you?
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bubblesss need ur help
i wanna take nudes (mainly for myself, until i’m confident enough to post them) but i wanna do it in a way where my arms don’t show much (i have arm tattoos) and you can’t see anything above the shoulders (don’t want ppl recognizing me lolz) any tips??
i was thinking about just dming you, but i thought your answer could be helpful for others since you’re so good at taking pictures :3
HIIIII IM SO EXCITED THANK YOU FOR COMING TO ME!!!
I too have tattoos on my arms. im PETRIFIED of people recognizing them.
initially i used the "markup" option in photos and matched the color with my skin. if you choose the markup option in photos:
dont use one color for the whole piece of ur skin. use three. one base, one highlight, and one shadow. it doesnt have to be perfect! ur tits will steal all of the attention anyway. but if you want to cover them using the markup option, using 3+ colors over them is the way to go.
now, i take so many pictures is not worth my time to cover up my tattoos, so i just frame the photo without them
i usually press my arms against my sides. this pushes the tits up and also positions the arms correctly to avoid seeing the ink
no tattoos
i also take all of my tit pictures zoomed out a little (have an iphone with the little zoom out selfie option on it) BUT when i dont have that option selected, you can hardly see my arms!! so that's an option too.
when i dont zoom out on my own photos tho, i feel like it makes the photo aesthetically boring. idk i need contrast and depth in my pics. so if you take them like this and ur like "it doesnt look right.... what's wrong with me?" know that there's nothing wrong with you
if your tattoos are in your elbows, try angling up.
when you take a photo from this angle, instinct will make you want to look at the camera. don't. youll get a double chin or something else that you can't crop out!
if your tattoos cover your upper arms and you want to be SUPER SAFE, wear clothes!!
ik you're like "wtf ru on? this is a nude and we dont do clothes."
i stand by it that the clothed tiddy pics are better than the unclothed ones 🥰🫠
for ass pics, i lovvvvvve taking them in bed. you can position your blanket however you wqnt and it becomes a little prop for you. you wont even need your arm in it.!!
i hope this helps sunnybun!!!i cant (can!! take your time!!) wait to see what pics u get!!! 💕💕
#it answers#attention wh0r3#needy slvt#needy wh0re#dumb slvt#dumb wh0re#good girls make more good girls#@nal slvt
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hii so as yk i wanted to make an requesttt. i wanna know if you can do ice brady hc (maybe a lil spicy iykyk)
i chose ice brady because i honestly because she’s literally so underrated i see no fics abt her and i feel like i need some(desperately)
its ok if u cant do it know js take ur time mll💋💋
love u smm have a amazing day ❤️❤️
hi lovelyyy, i love this request and i agree, ice is super underrated (she’s so fine omfg)
warning(s): cussing, smut
genre: fluff & smut
pairing(s): ice brady x reader
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always making dirty jokes
like that one live where kk, paige, snd ice were talking about height and kk says that her and nika were face to face and ice goes “mouth to mouth.” 😭😭
big and little spoon, depends on the day
you guys barely ever get into arguments so when you do it’s bad
shes the type to say stuff that purposely makes you mad
a bully 😭
definitely scream sings dirty songs ALL THE TIME
like she will be in the kitchen and youll be in the bedroom and all you hear is her screaming the lyrics to all i need by lloyd
calls you names all the time
“okay little ugly.” “you tell me the opposite every day.”
records you eating and posts it with the big back audio
now every time you eat you hide from her 💀
lowkey (highkey) slow as hell
loves to facetime you when you can’t come over and play roblox
falls asleep on the phone every time you guys call
LOVES taking showers with you (in cute ways and in dirty ways)
dramatic as fuck
my blurb about ice being sick is a great example of her being dramatic 😭😭
tells you that she loves you before bed every night
loves kisses and hugs
“one more kiss?” “i just gave you like 4.” “well it’s an uneven number so-“
kk and paige are always with you guys
they’ll all come to your dorm, go to your room, then go live 😭
ice is the type of person to say “do you wanna fight” every chance she gets
“no.” “do you wanna fight?” “let’s go then.” and you stand up and she starts screaming before your even do anything
takes absolutely nothing seriously
sends you tiktoks all day long
you guys make tiktoks together all the time
lazy and only does stuff if you give her things in return
“can you do the dishes?” “not unless i get something in return.” “like what?” “head.” “ice.”
posts you on her instagram story all the time
smut hcs
i don’t see her degrading you in bed, like making fun of you as a joke yea but never calling you a slut
she loves giving praises
telling you how good you’re doing and stuff like that
absolute clown
if you wear glasses and they fall off while you guys are fucking she will play around and put them on
same thing goes for lashes 😭 like if they fall off she jsut puts them on your body some where
and if you wear wigs and it comes off, guess what … she wears it
ice is definitely a switch
shower sex is 😩
she doesn’t really care for toys
you guys have a strap and vibrator but use them every once and a while
loves edging you and getting edged
def has a sex playlist
dirtiest of dirty talkers
like nobody has talked to you the way she does
takes pictures of you guys fucking and has an album in her phone full of them
fucking everywhere but the bedroom
car, bathroom, restaurant, anywhere
ice is always horny 😭 especially at night
sends dirty messages all day long
she also sends those red thoughts tiktok videos (pls tell me yk what im talking about)
she loves when you eat her out
her moans are actually angelic
thinks scissoring is too much work so she never does it 😭😭
when she uses the strap she doesn’t hold back
tells you have much she loves you as she fucks you
loves to make you squirt
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i hope you enjoyed, anyway i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋
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mutuals appreciation post
omg i cant believe im already writing another one what- anyways again, im just making this to let all of you guys know that i appreciate you LOADS. every single one of my mutuals. doesn't matter if ive mentioned you here or not, if youre a mutual, that means i do remember you and will never stop loving you /gen. i seriously LOVE you guys. thank you so so much for putting up and staying with me, talking to me and being friends with me. i cant express how much it means to me. happy new year, all of you ♡♡♡
(i wanted to write essays for everyone wtf this isnt at all enough but tis a LONG post nonetheless lmao)
oh also a little gift for everyone hehehe <3333
@meowmaii MY LOVELY ONLINE LIL SIS ILYSMMM. interacting with you and seeing u on my dash or notifs brings me smmm joy istg and im so so so proud of you for being you!!!! i am so very glad to have gotten to talk to you my dear behen and i hope we never stop talking <333 i genuinely love u so so much thank you for being here and being yourself! ♡ help i could literally make this a 50-page long essay sooo ill stop here. for now. :333 here's to another year together and to us never stopping talking to e/o hehe :333
@thegolden-tigeress SHREEEE ARGHHH another of my absolute favorite people on the planet!!! tysm for everything!!!! i literally appreciate your existence and you so so much i cant even begin to express it ♡♡♡ thank you soooo much for talking to me and sending me asks n tagging me and stuff!!!! it makes me feel so so seen bby <33 i promise ill try to interact more with u this next year after boards r over! im so so proud of u for being here despite the bs lifes giving u!! heres to us talking more and more simping over chuuya this next year haha ily take care <33
@kavehpilled aaand hello to u my dear online older brother :33 (help am i picking up siblings like pokemons-) anw!!! thank you for regularly interacting with me n remembering me despite how busy, chaotic and CRAZY(??!!!? HELLO??!?!) life is for u :3 i love talking to u so so much hehe <3 it always makes me SO happy to see u in my notifs, inbox or on my dash going insane over arcane (youre making me wonder if i should get into arcane too.) take care noah!! you being kaveh is great and all BUT dont become overworked and broke like him- :3
@floraldresvi you ANGELLLL!!!!! i did already send u a nice long christmas tree message so !!! ill keep this short but thank you so so much for remembering me!!! ill not have been very active for a while and then all of a sudden ill see you in my notifs or inbox or dash and go 'YAYYY ITS VI EEEE!!' and jump in happiness :333 (and just you wait grrr once my exams are over ill unleash ❀✿ anon on the world again and youll be the first victim mwehehehe :333) take care vivi ilysmmmm/p <33
@milk-violet MIMIIII :3333 tis our dearest ray of sunshine, incredibly talented star, god-level pjsk player and kazuha's most beloved lover <33333 i swear, talking to you is always soooo fun it leaves me smiling without fail :33 i love love love !!! seeing your energy and interactions on my dash and in notifs!!! aaa im so glad i got to meet u n talk to u this year!!! take care n i hope we talk more this next year ehe!!! <33
@alexisomnias LEXIIII !!! another person i absolutely love seeing on dash!!!!! admittedly, i havent interacted much this year but nonetheless i do always !!! remember u n thinking of u makes me smile without fail <33 ur so so so sweet and fun whenever we talk and it makes me vv happy <333 and istg u n kaveh are SO adorable omfg i ship you two SOO much its insane djdhs :333 take care lexi!!! <3
@mlkbwunnies oh my god yinggie!!!! again, ive often said this to u but youre are genuinely SUCH a wonderful person!!!! you give off such a comforting vibe that i always feel vv relaxed n happy when i talk to you <33 interacting with u n seeing u on dash makes my day hehe ♡ youre so so very caring and kind and loving and i still cant believe i get to be moots with someone as amazing as you!! take care of yourself!! you and alhaitham are so cute too ohmygoshh :33
@damyoujackson ok so you. tbh i have NO idea when youll be seeing this. may be a month or year later when im out of the schl or maybe today (in which case im running away bye.) BUT. thank u sm for being my friend. like genuinely fgfdffg omg i swear youve been one of my absolute best friends so like. tysm for listening to me yap and yk, putting up with my weirdness haha i cant even express how glad i am to have met you jajsdj !! hopefully we still stay in touch aaajshs (also if u see this before ive left then NO we dont talk about this.) take care bro n dont be a stranger :333
@punkisntdeadandneitherami orion!!!!!! thank u so much for interacting with me!!! (i wouldve honestly not reached out cuz social anxiety lmao) BUT!!! i loveeee talking to u and seeing u in my notifs!!!! youre such a chill and cool person djsjjshs youre one of the first people who come to my mind when i think of my moots or of tagging ppl !!! thanks for being moots with me shshs :33
@fishii28 youre such a wonderfully sweet person fishii !!!!!! its always been SUCH a delight to talk to u mwehehehe :33 and omg yukifishi >>>>>> hopefully we talk more this next year, please take care dear because you deserve nothing but the absolute best in the world, and im so so happy and proud of you for still being here despite everything!!!!! thank u so sooooo much for interacting with me <33333
@blackcherriestxox styx!!!! we only started talking recently but you are SUCH an incredibly fun person to talk to!!!! youre so silly hehe /pos/lh n i love ur vibes!!! +your aesthetic >>>>> thanks for listening to my rambles XD and and lmk if u read bllk hehehe anw im so so very glad i started talking to u!!! heres to getting to know e/o better this next year :33
@fyodorsushankaaa oliviaaaa <333 thank u so so much for filling up my notifs hehe it makes me feel sooo seen <333 but at the same time please don't burn/stress yourself out!! i loooveee talking to u :333 and oof ykw im gonna fix a day to spam u in return too mwahaha :333 hopefully we talk more next year ^-^ anw thank u sm for being mutuals with me!!! <33
@hoicacti cacti my dearest!!!!!!/p ilysmmm omg somehow ur always there for me for me when i need it even if u urself might not know it shdhdbshsj thank u smm for your kind words, asks and messages!!!! i often think of you and how sweet u are!!! interacting with u is SUCH a pleasure omg and i appreciate you so so soooo much its insane !!!! sjsj take care!!! <333
@still-fatemeh @s0lace-1n-s0l1tude @magicalgear @raskoln1kovsaxe +
@softmeetscreatureplz @siimplyapril you guys, thank you SO much for tagging me in stuff and interacting with me !!!!!!! makes me feel so happy even if i might not always do the tag games <333 (i have all the picrew ones saved in my drafts lmao i promise ill do them-) anw thanks for always remembering me and tagging me <3333 hopefully we interact more next year too <3333 (had to seperate the first tags from the last bc cant tag more than five in a row :( )
alright i think the tags r over for now... im sorry if ive forgotten any of my close moots :((( but to those mutuals who havent been tagged, if u see this please dont think ive forgotten u!!! i absolutely do remember u n love u its just we havent interacted one on one much soo i was nervous to tag yall ahaha...
anw thats it i think! to every single person reading this, happy new year!!! lets hope that this is our year lmao- everyone please take care of yourselves!!! i love u all smm <333
#ngl its kinda surprising to see how long this post is compared to last years' hehe#[🔮] rambles ~#mutuals appreciation post <3
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wait!- ☆ scara
CHARACTERS: idol!scara x gn!reader
SYNOPSIS: scara had always promised you that he will always love you and will always have time for you, but he never confirmed that hes a man of his word…
GENRE: angst 🦢 (comfort from another at the end)
W/C: 1.3k
C/W: cheating, moaning, hinting of intoxication, kissing, toxicity, and cussing (if theres anything that i missed let me know!)
A/N: a lot of people liked my previous post so it motivated me to make another! im still new at this so please keep that in mind if a few bits are off (IT’S REALLY REALLY REALLY CRINGY). most grammatical errors are also intentional!
your boyfriend, scara, has a performance today and youre really excited. you received flowers, theyre beautiful. maybe this is an apology for the lack of affection and being more grumpy towards you lately, i mean to be an idol certainly is tiring, isnt it? so it makes perfect sense why he’s acting like this… right?
as always, he gave you tickets to his concert. you couldnt get the chance to say goodbye to him because he left so early in the morning, so youll make it up to him when you meet him backstage.
you got dressed and headed out the door, youre excited to see your beloved scara preform, because he looked happy while doing his job, you were excited to see his smile because… well, he doesnt smile at you anymore… but you quickly brush it off, i mean, being an idol is very stressful.
youve arrived, you tried to enter backstage but some bodyguard stopped you, “hey! what do you think youre doing missy?” you sigh, he must be new, “scara is my lover, i just want to see him,” you try to explain but the bodyguard cuts you off and says “thats what they all say,” he rolls his eyes. “no! really, i am!” you show the bodyguard a picture of you and scara together kissing, “oh” the bodyguard grunts, “so youll let me in?” you look up at him, he looks a bit uncomfortable, “well uhm… ive been given specific orders to not let you in… im sorry,”
“w-what?...”
you heard him loud and clear, the world around you begins to spin, but you quickly ground yourself by comforting yourself with false hopes. maybe hes just planning a surprise for you back there, i mean, it might explain why you got flowers, yea! that must be the reason… you hope.
you found your spot, perfect timing too! the concert begins, you see scara. you melt when you see a smile on his lips, he looks so happy. the crowd screams, theyre chanting 5wirl (the name of their group). venti, xiao, kazuha, heizou, and scara is greeting the audience with warms smiles and kind words.
after a while, the performance ends, it was quite long actually, but it felt so short, time does fly when youre having fun. you head to the backstage doors, hoping that the bodyguard lets you in this time. as you make your way to the backstage doors you see scara’s back in your peripheral vision. hes in a secluded place, he looks like hes trying to be hidden from the crowd, makes sense. you decide to scare him, as you get closer you can see a beautiful lady’s lips pressed against scara’s. you hear the sounds of kissing and soft moaning coming from them.
your heart shatters into a million pieces, it broke so bad that you swore you heard it make a shattering sound. tears fall down your face, youre so stunned that you cant even form words, instead, a pathetic whimpering sound escapes your lips. scara turns around to see where the strange sound is coming from.
his eyes widen a bit, but he immediately regains his composure. “stop crying like a baby and get over it, youre just a nuisance in my life,” now scara was just stomping all over your already broken heart. these simple actions somehow drained all of your energy, just standing was exhausting, not wanting to waste time or energy you give him an “ok,” and you turn around and leave.
you arrive at your shared apartment and decide to eat and rest for a little, so when he comes back you can properly confront him. but, he comes back the next day, hes wasted and the smell of sex is clinging onto him. he walks past you and immediately collapses on the couch and knocks out cold.
when he finally wakes up, youre making dinner. he remembers the encounter from last night. his eyes wander, wanting to look at anything but you. something in the trashcan catches his eye, the flowers. theyre pretty but it didnt come from him.
youve finished cooking, you see scara sitting at the table. you sit down, and placed your meal in front of you and you start to eat. “…what about mine?” scara asks you with a quiet voice. “oh wow, youre initiating a conversation with the nuisance. well, if you must know, that having to take care of you is quite tiring and ive realized that youre quite troublesome and it would be better if you werent in my life. so, kunikuzushi, im breaking up with you.”
hes taken aback when you use his birth name, “h-hey y/n, i didnt mean what i said yesterday… i regret it, it was just the heat of the moment,” he says, his voice trembling a bit. you sigh, “that still doesnt change the fact that you cheated on me, pack your bags and leave, this is my apartment after all,”
his trembling demeanour quickly turned aggressive, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH LOVE AND TIME IVE SPENT ON YOU?” you scoff, “WHAT LOVE? WHAT TIME? SURE, YOUVE PROMISED ME THESE THINGS BUT HAVE YOU EVER FULFILLED IT? EVER SINCE YOU BECAME AN IDOL, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU CHANGED,”
the two of you are now yelling. “WELL, BEING AN IDOL IS TIRING, AND BEING BOUND TO ONLY YOU IS TIRING. ANEMO RESEMBLES FREEDOM, I CANT JUST BE BOUND TO YOU. A-AND SHE LOVES ME FOR WHO I AM” youre hurt, you stop yelling, “she loves you for who you are today, but will she when you have nothing?” “NO ONE LOVED ME WHEN I HAD NOTHING, WHEN I WAS NOTHING-“ “I FUCKING DID”
your voice begins to break, “i loved you when you had nothing, i was the one who helped you get back on your feet,” you sigh, hot tears now spilling down your face, “im gonna take a walk, and when i come back your things better be packed.” you leave the apartment, “you didnt even get to enjoy your meal,” he mumbles to himself. he begins to pack his things.
youre walking towards the park, youre tears making your cheeks glisten in the sunlight. you spot kazuha admiring the scenery, hes sitting down on a bench with a pen and notebook in hand, you assume he was making song lyrics or a haiku. you walk up to kazuha and wipe away your tears, “u-uhm hey kazu,” you sit down beside him. “oh hey y/n! nice seeing you here!” his voice is warm and comforting.
“im surprised that you arent swarmed by paparazzi yet,” you giggle, “me too, the quiet is very relaxing. my day has become better now that youre here. wheres scara?” you can feel your eyes watering up “we broke up… he cheated on me,” kazuha hugs you, patting your back, tears are now falling down your face. “you dont deserve that, you really dont, youre one of the most amazing people that i know.”
tip tap tip tap tip tap
you hear the sound of footsteps running, it’s probably someone jogging. kazuha tucks your hair behind your ear while looking you in the eyes.
“WAIT!-“
kazuha presses a gentle kiss on your forehead. you turn your head to see who had just called out, it was scara, he was standing there in shock, tears slipping down his face. “YOU BITCH KAZUHA,” scara yells at him. the bouquet of flowers you threw out earlier was now in his hands. “YOU LIKE Y/N, DONT YOU? YOU HAVE HER THESE FLOWERS, RIGHT?” scara scoffs, “and what if i do? theres no harm in having a crush, unlike cheating on your lover. and, i did give those flowers to her, so what?”
scara turns to you “b-baby you still love me right? a-and not this bastard, right?” his voice seems desperate, “kunikuzushi i-”
A/N: UHMM I LITERALLY HAD NO IDEA HOW TO END THIS- I AT LEAST TRIED LOL ┐༼ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°༽┌
(ngl i wanna make a part 2 because the ending was so messy ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º· )
TAGLIST @justaxiaosimp @mommykukki @xdrin @midnight-pluto @boomie-123 @scaramochies @dnsuhwr874y @hopefulceladon @yukinenikora @akusiapaakudimana @mai-yay @uhfhfhfhf
#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#genshin angst#scara angst#genshin wanderer#wanderder#wanderer x reader#wanderer angst#wanderer#genshin scara#scaramouche#scaramouche angst#angst#idol scara#anemo
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A Mountain is home
I currently dont have a masterlist set up for this collection but i hope you enjoy this none the less, this will eventually be posted on ao3 but i dont have an account currently
Warnings: age regression (not very in depth) , self destructive stimming like scratching pulling on tail thrashing and hitting ones self during a neurodivergent meltdown, quite panicked reader, reader has trauma, reader is a full ghoul this time cause this is still my interpretation of a fantasy universe <3, cuddles and ghoul-piles!!!
The word muzzle is used multiple times over but is referring to a mouth cover to symbolize silence
I headcannon mountain as autistic, no shoes for lifeee yup thats all
age regression is a coping mechanism that can be both voluntary and/or involuntary it is entirely safe and reccomended by therapists if they believe it would be effective for said person but as mentioned for some people it is entirely unpredictable, if this makes you uncomfortable please scroll away thank you <3
Not betad or edited
Word count: 5,611words (it basically wrote itself)
Youd been summoned just a week ago and it already seems as though youre once again fading into the background, no one had taught you if someone of your neurotype was acceptable in todays world, the bok-hord in hell or library as you read above the one here in the church of sin was not at all up to date on whats acceptable yet.
This is your second time being summoned, your first ritual was terrifying but what made it worse is they thought you were impossible to become a domestic ghoul, the uncertainty of being sent back from this one weighed on you, if you went back again no one would be there for you.
Holding yourself back and biting your tongue from doing or saying anything including the strange chirps and trills that kept you regulated, taking it upon yourself to be even more docile and quieter than the tall ghoul behind the drums, no matter the situation not a peep has been heard from you, all you did was play your instrument, there was no jumping around putting on a presentation, the others however did so, its just practice but you hadnt earned your place, you could always be sent back for even the most minor of slip up, its happend before and you for sure wont let it happen again.
《~♡~》
Friday nights are prime for the others, the guys in a ghoul-pile and girls raiding the fridge for snacks while watching a film, in the common area designated for only ghouls no one wearing their mask but yourself, only passing through doing your best to keep in the shadows, if youre out of place surely youll be duely punished, the first time you were summoned your family and friends were disappointed to see you sent back but your mother worst of all had said she had expected it , you had no place yet, so your room was for you the closest to safety.
Locking the door to your room as soon as you returned; taking off themask and the muzzle of sorts, some ghouls had facepaint instead but you weren't vocal so there was no reason, finally now to a safe place you let everything fall from its people pleasing manner into what felt most like yourself, jumping up and down to get your blood flowing and thoughts swarming.
"Who needs others when you can feel at home just being yourself", clicking and pacing and flapping your hands you were trying to catch up to what your body demanded, but
It just kept spilling, from the deepest places in your mind, crevasses full of discomfort, confusion, irritation and just the most overwhelming feeling that could muster itself from your being.
Nothing was working, it was too late to regulate and your mind took to a melt down, shaking your head wasnt good enough, grabbing hold of your horns, you violently shake yourself around, tail whipping and slashing all around you, and than the crying.
Oh how the crying was the worst part, shoving the muzzle back on it didn't do much for silence but its still an attempt, everyones expectations ringing shrill in your ears, you didn't come from a happy home, your family torn apart by sinners from christs hall a completely different take on sin, as it caused harm.
Hands over your muzzle to silence just a bit more if possible and than the silent choked sobs, more physically painful but it wouldn't draw attention, thats the last thing you wanted, slamming your fists down against your thighs followed by tugging on your tail and scratching the spade of it until it hurt, the only thing that could regulate you was small jolts and shocks of pain and than it stopped, you were right back where you started, silent but this time you felt like a kit.
A tiny kit who got told that they need to learn to be normal, but for the time being there was the innocence, nothing would happen if you weren't, you were just different, and you were alone but you were still safe.
Putting the helmet back on, you take all of the blankets and pillows that are in your room and shove them under your bed, taking the cover sheet and creating a curtain between the floor and the frame, all of your tiny kit-like self holed up in one place, a place as small as the family and friends in your life had made you, maybe this time you were sent here to be safe.
Fixing up the nest you made under your bed you let yourself hide away from the world, be as small and pure as your mind could muster and let all the terrible feelings melt away, chirping and trilling quietly as you lay there eventually being held close and coddled by darkness, falling asleep you would not return to the common rooms until most necessary.
Grabbing food and hiding once more, at some point when you were in the library and had found scratch paper, a sketchbook , a couple pencils and a mess of tacks set out in a bin that had the word 'FREE' in print on it for anyone to partake in the activity of drawing, collecting the supplies and a few books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, and just a simple fairy tale, you embark back to your room.
Over the weekend you had covered the walls in the corner of the room under your bed with fantastical pictures of your dreams, and drawings of each ghoul and papas youve seen so far.
《~♡~》
When monday came it was back to breakfast and lessons in the morning, lunch after practice around noon and communal chores, the others were very loud today, as for yourself youd been silent like predicted but you could feel eyes on you and could hear bickering but nothing quite clear of their words.
making dinner for everyone was the last thing, it was easy, it was one thing your family didn't ridicule you over, your cooking made anyone who was having a bad day feel better, there was so much passion that anyone could see and taste.
your tail flowing in an easy, comforting sway and a smile hidden under your muzzle, the first smile to bare your face outside of your room and it felt like this was what would give you your place to stay.
Dishing everyones plates with your home-made meal and taking it to the ghouls and ghoulettes where they each were was apparently unexpected and out of their ordinary, but you had no idea, how would you when you hide away, maybe they would take that into consideration. This was also one of the first times you got to hear others address you, smiles and bright eyes shared when they where blown away by your cooking, you dished up yourself and sat at the island counter crouching on a wooden stool, sitting on them hurts the backs of your legs and crouching was more like hugging yourself anyway.
Soon enough people would march in putting their dishes in the sink giving a thankyou and a smile or a compliment to your cooking, slowly eating your food, savoring each bite, the comments from others causing your tail to pick up its sway with a little flick in it, maybe itll be okay.
You go to put your dish in the sink after rinsing it off when the tall guy from behind the drums approaches, while just as quiet as you he was also playful like the others.
"Hey y/n dinner was amazing, i cant wait til next week to see what you come up with" he exclaimed, "im mountain by the way, i know i didn't exactly introduce myself at all since you first got here, we wanted you to settle in, you seemed very stressed" he added before someone shouted for him from the other room, leaving with a smile and wave.
There was no expectation for you to respond, no expectation to look someone in the eyes, you let out a small chirp joined by a small movement in your hands.
《~♡~》
Back in your room you let your tail wag wildly, pulling the books you'd been reading up on, you had gotten from them the fact that over the years some churches of sin have allowed a better understanding and acceptance for people and ghouls alike with neurodivergencies to be better recognized and seen as equals, there were things they didn't tell you about back in hell when you were told of your neurotype, like your sounds and movement for self regulation was called stimming and that it can be harmful but it can also be helpful just depending on the purpose and action, you had copied information from the book down on resources and important things you thought would help, these books were the most helpful and the fairy-tale was perfect however you needed a new one since youve read this one so many times you knew every line, you take the books back to the library.
Putting them back on their respective shelfs you pick out two new fairy-tales and stop by the free stuff bin, taking pencil lead an eraser and a new sketchbook, youve already filled your first one in just a few days, you dont have anymore room on the walls around your nest for more loose paper sketches so you need the sketchbook instead.
On your walk back to your room admiring the stained glass windows, lost in thoughts somewhere between regression and big feelings, letting them mingle and intertwine,
So lost in thought you dont see when papa copia started coming closer until he spoke up, "good evening y/n" a small scream torn from you as you are brought back to right now practically jumping out of your skin, your eyes big as you process who it is, the first time anyone has heard your voice in any way and it obviously had to be a panicked scream, this wouldn't sit well with your family, your mind shifting farther into regression, just wanting to be in your room again.
"My apologies little one" littleone? Is it that obvious you think to yourself, "it was not my intention to frighten you, i see youve taken a liking to the library, what books have you got there?" Hanging your head in shame and slight worry you show him the two fairy-tales and he breaks out in a grin "i remember reading those, i might have to look at them once more! A very good choice, Molto bene indeed" finishing up your silent-sided conversation you rush quickly back to your room, theres been too much interaction and what did papa copia mean by 'little one?'
《~♡~》
After a few days of this halfsided banter from the ghouls and papa youre started to feel a little more comfortable.
A knock on your door pulled you from your slumber, the first couple times had made their way into your dream, you get up and open the door to the ghouls and ghoulettes standing in the hall, a few smiles making their way on a few faces, and thats when you realize youre not wearing your mask or muzzle, heat rushing to your ears and cheeks causing your cool grey skin to tint purple, hanging your head in embarrassment while rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, "were sorry to wake you but were meeting early today because papa has a meeting with the clergy and after lessons and practice mix we have the rest of the day off", nodding you return into your room to get changed and to put on your muzzle and mask, the group waiting outside of your room for you to walk with them.
Lessons and practice going by quickly you find yourself in the library,helmet off, curled up and tucked into one of the couches reading another fairy-tale, looking intently at the pictures, your eyes irritated from not getting all of the sleep you normally get, theyre slowly drifting shut, you can only stay awake so much longer before your mind takes you to a rem sleep.
Waking up to mountain shaking you awake he smiles gently, "hey sleepy head, i was looking for you, its lunch time but it seems as though youre tired, we'll get you to your room and ill bring lunch to you there" he was a gentle giant ghoul and although you haven't said anything to anyone youre starting to warm up to him, he puts a book mark in the book and helps you up handing you your mask, you decide to just carry it with you.
Opening your door he hands you the book and you set it down atop your bed along with your mask, "do you want me to knock when i come back?" Thinking for a moment and shaking your head 'no' you'll probably just be asleep again, taking off the muzzle you set it with your mask getting ontop of your empty bed you curl up waiting while slightly dozing.
When he returns he walks in with your plate in hand, "wheres you stuff bud? Did they move you into an unready room?" You once more shake your head, pulling up the bedsheet curtain putting your nest on display, "aaah a safe spot, i completely understand, im here if you need anything, just holler my way" he kids while stepping out.
"Can you- stay?" You mutter through a slightly broken voice, catching him off guard, youre not sure why you asked but he seems easy to open up to, hes kinda like you.
"Id be honored"
You sat there mostly quiet eating but occasionally you'd respond and every time he would be looking elsewhere but the smile on his face said he was paying attention.
The more you got to know him the more you realized youre very similar to him.
《~♡~》
The next couple weeks youd spend lunch with him sharing stories while you sat in your nest and him at your desk, he talked about how fond the ghouls and ghoulettes and even the papas were of you, they all looked forward to you hopefully someday talk full sentences with them but for now with you slowly coming out of your shell, wearing your mask and muzzle less often and spending more time somewhat near the group, for now they were content watching you grow and become more of yourself.
You gave each person a sketch youd do of them from observation and mountain even brought you another sketchbook when he noticed you were running low on pages, you told him why youve been scared to come out of your room and your past experience with your previous summoning, you however didn't tell him why it failed but he understood itll take some time.
《~♡~》
One evening after another one of your delicious meals you were invited to watch a movie with everyone, accepting the offer you show up in your hoodie you just recently bought and pajama pants, socks with sticky tabs on the bottom so you didn't slip on the marble floors, you balled yourself up in a beanbag chair, others had grabbed pillows or stuffed animals from the pile in the corner, you go over to look through the pile, pulling out a well loved multi-textured dog plush, smiling and taking it over to your spot with you, focused on the textures, "very good choice little wisp" mountain hummed, your tail thumping against the bean bag chair, your cheeks and ears dusted purple once more, "i haven't held one since i was very small" you return.
After the movie you gave the plush one last hug before placing it atop the pile, "you know if you want you can take it to your room with you, we have them here for everyone" he encouraged but you shook your head, "he would miss his friends and i dont want to take someone elses opportunity of loving him away", little did you know the ghouls left in the room all felt their hearts melt, this wasnt new to them, theyve met ghouls and people whose minds are permanently part kit, they wouldn't say anything until you said something first, youre part of the family, you deserve to do it on your own terms.
Just the next evening when you returned from the library you come to find a black gift
Bag infront of your door with a tag that has your name on it.
Entering your room you set everything down before you open the bag, youre met with a soft multi-texture plush almost identical to the one from the other night but this one had weighted feet,and a book of several fairy-tales with a few purple tabs on certain pages along with it. A card that says, "a plush specifically for you and your love, i hope you give him a wonderful name, and a book my mother read to me when i was just a kit, one that you dont have to take back to the library"
Holding the plush out infront to look at him your headspace slipping quickly, thankfully you were in the safety of your bedroom and he would fit perfectly into your nest with you.
With plenty of time between now and dinner time, your chores being done and someone else being on dinner duty you took right now to relax.
in comfortable clothes you lay down in your nest with your book and the stuffy you named chip cause he reminded you of chocolate chip cookies, you named him late at night when you were feeling very small and it just stuck.
Closing your eyes when the words in the book were adding to the strain, from all the light today, hunger pulling a whine from you, if you slept for now youd wake up at the perfect time to eat dinner, you might even sit with rain and talk about the books youve read recently outside of the fairy-tales.
Being pulled out of your dreams by someone gently shaking you awake and calling your name, confusion built it way to your face, he doesn't need to knock but normally he chooses to, what brought him in?
"I know youre sleepy but its dinner time and i know you like your routine, i tried knocking but you were out cold" he states after reading your scrunched and slightly confused face, handing you your bowl, tonight cirrus and swiss made dinner together.
Mountain sits on the floor across from you as you both ate in a comfortable silence, thats one thing about him, he tries to make sure hes not being a trigger for anyone with misophonia.
Eating slowly and running your hand along the textures of your stuffy, "s'named chip" you just barely say aloud, causing him to smile, "thats the most perfect name for him, does he give the best of cuddles?" Nodding youre completely unaware of the fact hes talking to you as if you were a kit, he was just being kind and attentive for all you knew, and while yes thats completely true he also saw through your silence, hes talked to semi-permanent kit-minded ghouls and he knew it was for safety of mind.
Both of you done with dinner, you pull out your sketchbook as he gets up to take the dishes to the kitchen, standing in the doorway looking down at you with a smile upon his face, "do you want me to come back after i put the dishes in the kitchen?" Watching as you ponder for a moment before nodding, looking up at him, never once more than now have you longed for physical contact with someone but you little mind craves it.
He returned quickly to see you moving your nest about, your movements less exact and a little choppy, he could see the irritation when the blankets wouldn't flatten out so he got down to help, fixing it for you he sat back on his knees when you planted yourself down closer to the wall than normal, you pat the spot next to you while holding chip close to your chest.
"You want me to cuddle little wisp?" He questioned already taking his jacket off before you hummed in response.
Cuddling was very common amongst ghouls so there was no questions asked as to why
It was naturally so second nature for most.
Curling into him he holds you close, your head resting on his chest, you could just fall asleep right now but you fought that instinct so you could savor a moment of feeling completely safe, where youre not being overstimulated.
"When i was first summoned i read those exact same books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, i remember reading that someone with a mind like the one both of us have can easily struggle in public environments or around new people"
He retold, causing you to question how he knew you read them.
"Oh wisp, i can hear just how stirring you mind can be, i saw you walking back to the library to return them, i want you to know that you are safe here with me and all of the others, im honored to cuddle, i didn't join a ghoul-pile until several months of being here."
Nodding to yourself, taking a moment to process his words when your own join the party.
"Jus cant do touch with others almost ever, makes brain hurt and than hurts me aswell"
Your eyes started to sleepily flutterand he picks up the fairy-tales book he brought you, opening it up to one of the purple tabs, some of his favorites.
He read you to sleep, when his pants were starting to put deep seam imprints into his legs causing him discomfort, he goes to leave the room but is stopped by you plea for him to stay, "ill be right back little mouse."
And like promised he did return in much more comfortable clothes, a blanket and a comfort item of his own, cuddling back up with you halfway ontop of him, covering the both of you with his blanket, setting your temporarily forgotten of stuffie in the corner above your head along with his.
《~♡~》
From than forward you and mountain spent Friday nights in your room reading and cuddling, going to lessons and practice together, he was helping you open up, when it would be your night to make dinner, which you had requested to have more than once a week instead of sink duty because soggy wet hands felt offensive to your skin, he would sit at the island watching unless one of his chores intercepted that period of time or if another ghoul requested his company.
It took five months to ease you out of you shell, at four you had brought up the regression and neurodivergency topics to the others and than out of fear you hid in your room for the weekend until dew stopped by inviting you to watch a movie with the others which you happily obliged to do so, remembering that its okay to be around others and be yourself, that night you sat on the couch behind the ghoul-pile falling asleep with chip in your arms, your tail intertwined with mountains.
Not wearing your mask unless you needed a break or everyone else was, copia had taken you aside at one point to find fabrics that looked like the others but were sensory safe so when it was time for uniforms you would feel comfortable.
At night you would go out to the garden in secret and jump around, spin, stomp, trill, chirp, coo and so much more. It helped tremendously.
《~♡~》
Tonight unlike the others was much louder in your head and harder to feel okay, already regressed you tried stomping around and flailing your hands but without meaning to you were once more pulling on your tail and scratching it painful and raw, the garden was closed for the night with new fertilizer being put down, taking chip you trail your way down to one of the last rooms, the shiny name plate reading 'mountain' you gave a slightly too heavy knock on the door, rocking back and forth on your feet, he answers and is suprised to see you standing there with deep grey tear tracks down your face, chip under your arm and your tail in hand scratching as you fumble with your words.
Letting you in he pats the bed for you to sit down while he turns on the light and pulls a shirt on over your head, sniffles and hiccups break your silence, he take your hands and holds them for a moment, watching the spade of your tail drop small dots of blood onto the marble floor, "come with me little wisp, its okay" he leads you to the bathroom, picking you up and setting you on the counter, lifting his tail for you to hold on, he knew full well you wouldn't scratch his, tracing the scars on his tail had you questioning if he did the same.
As he took hydrogen peroxide cleaning the small cuts and scrapes pulling a hiss from you in reaction, "i know hun, im sorry ive got to be mean and clean it but weve got to take care of it so it doesn't get icky ya-know?" He soothes, "you see the ones on my tail, theyre from the same thing, sometimes i almost start scratching at them again but i normally just hold my tail and put lotion on the scars to feel like im cleaning it up once more"
Once hes done patching you up he once again takes your hands leading you to his bed and looking through his closet. His room was well decorated and filled, a queen sized pillow top mattress and black wooden four poster bed frame against the wall, he had a collection of old trinkets including a camera that takes film, your father used to have one, several gas masks, a homophone record player. On the wall above his desk was a cork board coverd in the drawing youd given him, small trinkets littler his desk, before you could look further he brings over a box of similar small trinkets setting them infront of you.
"You can dump the box out if you want, find whatever works best, i have plenty more" dumping them out you turn the box upside down organizing them, finding three, liking them the most you put the duplicates of them and all the others away back in the box holding onto the three youd picked out, he puts the box under his bed, seating himself next to you, leaning into his side as he turns on one of the movies you'd taken interest in, "hey wisp can i hold chip?", nodding against his chest, paying deep attention to his heartbeat how slow and rhythmic, tapping your tail against the bed in the same beats, occasionally humming and trilling, his left hand running up and down your back, occasionally running though your hair gently.
"Youre gonna be okay little mouse, ive got you".
《~♡~》
Your first ghoul pile was something very special, stuffies piled everywhere, they all had banded together to make the room perfect for your comfort, your favorite music playing in the background, dew and sunshine had found you in the library quietly crying flicking around one of the fidgets mountain gave you
Humming and rocking back and forth, chip sitting ontop of your tail, you couldn't find mountain and you didn't want to taint the energy of your nest. Sunshine sat with you as dew went to find mountain, she lifted chip for a moment, carefully intertwining her tail with yours setting chip on your tails.
Dew returned around 10 minutes late with a smile upon his face, taking your open hand with sunshine carrying chip, they took you through the abbey to the lounge where the blanket, stuffy and pillow pile was spread across the floor, mountain and all the other were waiting, some of them already cuddled up, and others walking around, drawing the curtains and dimming lights, filling up a cooler to keep near the pile, mountain lead you to the group, curling himself around you with chip between the two of you, sunshine still connected to you laying back to back with you.
The first time being so close to the others all together and for once your brain lets it happen, youre not sure whose hand is running through your hair but it causes you to chirp, nuzzling you head into the hand.
Swiss tapping his forehead against yours, "youre welcome to stay as long as you need, this is your pile."
Theyre all so much more calm and centered on one another when theyre cuddled, with the warmth from all of the bodies it made it very easy to slip into a smaller headspace.
Cirrus reaching over mountain to wipe away the tear tracks with a wet cloth, they already had a feeling youd be disoriented with the news of the tour starting at the end of this month and the arrival of the outfits.
Cooing and trilling, others trilling back made you excitedly laugh.
《~♡~》
Youve been attached to at least one ghoul at all times, they knew you liked holding tails until you had to use your charm to pass as human, copia gave you a hug before he headed out first.
This was the first time youve seen mountain wear shoes, it looked as abnormal as it felt to not have a tail.
Standing in your place when papa introduces the band, not paying attention to him but instead the piece in your ear counting down til the lights cut off and mountain and dew are counted in, mountain looks to you taking an exasperated deep breath telling you to take one aswell, feeling the lights go out and the beat of mounts drums through the floor, counting the cymbal crashes and its time for you to join in, as soon as your hands start moving, you feel it, absolute euphoria, youre radioactive with energy, the fans going wild, youre practically thrashing as you play, prancing around and jumping when youve got time to spare you run up front adding flair and showmanship to the ceremony, interacting with the others.
By the end youre absolutely drained, enough energy to hop about and screech getting rid of the last bit of energy, if all of the tour is like this youre gonna have an absolute blast, mountain hands you a couple drumsticks for you to throw after taking a bow, and than perching yourself in 'frog crouch' on mountains riser next to his drums watching everyone go about their ending routines, people throwing stuff on stage, bracelets and flags to hand made gothic style stuffed animals, the ghouls picking some stuff up to look at em, handing them to the designated ghouls if there was a name and handing the rest to anyone else like yourself, the ghoulettes and even papa, swiss picked up a couple hand made stuffed animals bringing them to sit next to you.
When it was time to leave the stage mountain came over opening his arms, you lean forward wrapping your arms around his shoulders and he sets you down on you feet, grabbing the teddy's leaning into his side, hes completely drenched in sweat but so are you, it was practically a work out so it was worth it.
In the van having let down the human charm you wash up and slip into pajamas, the stuffies and bracelets set in your bunk you stare out the window waiting flicking your fidget around, Cumulus walks by stopping to give you a hug, "you did great wisp, your energy was so contagious. ", nodding and tapping your forehead against hers in a silent communication, you were absolutely exhausted.
As soon as mountain is out of the shower you push yourself into his chest, finally time to rest, and with your favorite ghoul no doubt, he hands you chip, folding into one another he holds you gently, as he pulls out the fairy tale he reads your favorites in the book, looking down when youre not humming out your regular vocal stims he realizes youve fallen asleep with your head on his chest, his hands running up and down your spine, tail occasionally thumping against the bed followed by nuzzling against him, "sleep well little wisp, you were so radiant tonight.
《~♡~》
Your room at the church of sin was finally decorated, still sleeping in your nest, the ghouls helped you assemble a proper loft bed with the mattress from your previous bed as part of the nest below, stuffies from the tour everywhere and bracelets hung on a set of racks to display them, posters scatterd on your walls, some plushies piled on the top matteress but keeping that open for the most part if someone wants to hang out. A bookshelf full of normal books and fairy-tales, a starry curtain over your window with a matching opposite one around your nest. Chip in his spot as always hes constantly waiting for your cuddles.
Drawings of both your own and others, many interpretation of what fans saw you as, they call you gargoyle, but to the ghouls youre just a little wisp or little mouse, you were your most accurate self, you were finally at home.
(Accidentally posted the unfixed version, sorry bout that)
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