#nameless ghouls x m! reader

[ace-of-gay]

A Mountain is home

I currently dont have a masterlist set up for this collection but i hope you enjoy this none the less, this will eventually be posted on ao3 but i dont have an account currently

Warnings: age regression (not very in depth) , self destructive stimming like scratching pulling on tail thrashing and hitting ones self during a neurodivergent meltdown, quite panicked reader, reader has trauma, reader is a full ghoul this time cause this is still my interpretation of a fantasy universe <3, cuddles and ghoul-piles!!!

The word muzzle is used multiple times over but is referring to a mouth cover to symbolize silence

I headcannon mountain as autistic, no shoes for lifeee yup thats all

age regression is a coping mechanism that can be both voluntary and/or involuntary it is entirely safe and reccomended by therapists if they believe it would be effective for said person but as mentioned for some people it is entirely unpredictable, if this makes you uncomfortable please scroll away thank you <3

Not betad or edited

Word count: 5,611words (it basically wrote itself)

Youd been summoned just a week ago and it already seems as though youre once again fading into the background, no one had taught you if someone of your neurotype was acceptable in todays world, the bok-hord in hell or library as you read above the one here in the church of sin was not at all up to date on whats acceptable yet.

This is your second time being summoned, your first ritual was terrifying but what made it worse is they thought you were impossible to become a domestic ghoul, the uncertainty of being sent back from this one weighed on you, if you went back again no one would be there for you.

Holding yourself back and biting your tongue from doing or saying anything including the strange chirps and trills that kept you regulated, taking it upon yourself to be even more docile and quieter than the tall ghoul behind the drums, no matter the situation not a peep has been heard from you, all you did was play your instrument, there was no jumping around putting on a presentation, the others however did so, its just practice but you hadnt earned your place, you could always be sent back for even the most minor of slip up, its happend before and you for sure wont let it happen again.

《~♡~》

Friday nights are prime for the others, the guys in a ghoul-pile and girls raiding the fridge for snacks while watching a film, in the common area designated for only ghouls no one wearing their mask but yourself, only passing through doing your best to keep in the shadows, if youre out of place surely youll be duely punished, the first time you were summoned your family and friends were disappointed to see you sent back but your mother worst of all had said she had expected it , you had no place yet, so your room was for you the closest to safety.

Locking the door to your room as soon as you returned; taking off themask and the muzzle of sorts, some ghouls had facepaint instead but you weren't vocal so there was no reason, finally now to a safe place you let everything fall from its people pleasing manner into what felt most like yourself, jumping up and down to get your blood flowing and thoughts swarming.

"Who needs others when you can feel at home just being yourself", clicking and pacing and flapping your hands you were trying to catch up to what your body demanded, but

It just kept spilling, from the deepest places in your mind, crevasses full of discomfort, confusion, irritation and just the most overwhelming feeling that could muster  itself from your being.

Nothing was working, it was too late to regulate and your mind took to a melt down, shaking your head wasnt good enough, grabbing hold of your horns, you violently shake yourself around, tail whipping and slashing all around you, and than the crying.

Oh how the crying was the worst part, shoving the muzzle back on it didn't do much for silence but its still an attempt, everyones expectations ringing shrill in your ears, you didn't come from a happy home, your family torn apart by sinners from christs hall a completely different take on sin, as it caused harm.

Hands over your muzzle to silence just a bit more if possible and than the silent choked sobs, more physically painful but it wouldn't draw attention, thats the last thing you wanted, slamming your fists down against your thighs followed by tugging on your tail and scratching the spade of it until it hurt, the only thing that could regulate you was small jolts and shocks of pain and than it stopped, you were right back where you started, silent but this time you felt like a kit.

A tiny kit who got told that they need to learn to be normal, but for the time being there was the innocence, nothing would happen if you weren't, you were just different, and you were alone but you were still safe.

Putting the helmet back on, you take all of the blankets and pillows that are in your room and shove them under your bed, taking the cover sheet and creating a curtain between the floor and the frame, all of your tiny kit-like self holed up in one place, a place as small as the family and friends in your life had made you, maybe this time you were sent here to be safe.

Fixing up the nest you made under your bed you let yourself hide away from the world, be as small and pure as your mind could muster and let all the terrible feelings melt away, chirping and trilling quietly as you lay there eventually being held close and coddled by darkness, falling asleep you would not return to the common rooms until most necessary.

Grabbing food and hiding once more, at some point when you were in the library and had found scratch paper, a sketchbook , a couple pencils and a mess of tacks set out in a bin that had the word 'FREE' in print on it for anyone to partake in the activity of drawing, collecting the supplies and a few books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, and just a simple fairy tale, you embark back to your room.

Over the weekend you had covered the walls in the corner of the room under your bed with fantastical pictures of your dreams, and drawings of each ghoul and papas youve seen so far.

《~♡~》

When monday came it was back to breakfast and lessons in the morning, lunch after practice around noon and communal chores, the others were very loud today, as for yourself youd been silent like predicted but you could feel eyes on you and could hear bickering but nothing quite clear of their words.

making dinner for everyone was the last thing, it was easy, it was one thing your family didn't ridicule you over, your cooking made anyone who was having a bad day feel better, there was so much passion that anyone could see and taste.

your tail flowing in an easy, comforting sway and a smile hidden under your muzzle, the first smile to bare your face outside of your room and it felt like this was what would give you your place to stay.

Dishing everyones plates with your home-made meal and taking it to the ghouls and ghoulettes where they each were was apparently unexpected and out of their ordinary, but you had no idea, how would you when you hide away, maybe they would take that into consideration. This was also one of the first times you got to hear others address you, smiles and bright eyes shared when they where blown away by your cooking, you dished up yourself and sat at the island counter crouching on a wooden stool, sitting on them hurts the backs of your legs and crouching was more like hugging yourself anyway.

Soon enough people would march in putting their dishes in the sink giving a thankyou and a smile or a compliment to your cooking, slowly eating your food, savoring each bite, the comments from others causing your tail to pick up its sway with a little flick in it, maybe itll be okay.

You go to put your dish in the sink after rinsing it off when the tall guy from behind the drums approaches, while just as quiet as you he was also playful like the others.

"Hey y/n dinner was amazing, i cant wait til next week to see what you come up with" he exclaimed, "im mountain by the way, i know i didn't exactly introduce myself at all since you first got here, we wanted you to settle in, you seemed very stressed" he added before someone shouted for him from the other room, leaving with a smile and wave.

There was no expectation for you to respond, no expectation to look someone in the eyes, you let out a small chirp joined by a small movement in your hands.

《~♡~》

Back in your room you let your tail wag wildly,  pulling the books you'd been reading up on, you had gotten from them the fact that over the years some churches of sin have allowed a better understanding and acceptance for people and ghouls alike with neurodivergencies to be better recognized and seen as equals, there were things they didn't tell you about back in hell when you were told of your neurotype, like your sounds and movement for self regulation was called stimming and that it can be harmful but it can also be helpful just depending on the purpose and action, you had copied information from the book down on resources and important things you thought would help, these books were the most helpful and the fairy-tale was perfect however you needed a new one since youve read this one so many times you knew every line, you take the books back to the library.

Putting them back on their respective shelfs you pick out two new fairy-tales and stop by the free stuff bin, taking pencil lead an eraser and a new sketchbook, youve already filled your first one in just a few days, you dont have anymore room on the walls around your nest for more loose paper sketches so you need the sketchbook instead.

On your walk back to your room admiring the stained glass windows, lost in thoughts somewhere between regression and big feelings, letting them mingle and intertwine,

So lost in thought you dont see when papa copia started coming closer until he spoke up, "good evening y/n" a small scream torn from you as you are brought back to right now practically jumping out of your skin, your eyes big as you process who it is, the first time anyone has heard your voice in any way and it obviously had to be a panicked scream, this wouldn't sit well with your family, your mind shifting farther into regression, just wanting to be in your room again.

"My apologies little one" littleone? Is it that obvious you think to yourself, "it was not my intention to frighten you, i see youve taken a liking to the library, what books have you got there?" Hanging your head in shame and slight worry you show him the two fairy-tales and he breaks out in a grin "i remember reading those, i might have to look at them once more! A very good choice, Molto bene indeed" finishing up your silent-sided conversation you rush quickly back to your room, theres been too much interaction and what did papa copia mean by 'little one?'

《~♡~》

After a few days of this halfsided banter from the ghouls and papa youre started to feel a little more comfortable.

A knock on your door pulled you from your slumber, the first couple times had made their way into your dream, you get up and open the door to the ghouls and ghoulettes standing in the hall, a few smiles making their way on a few faces, and thats when you realize youre not wearing your mask or muzzle, heat rushing to your ears and cheeks causing your cool grey skin to tint purple, hanging your head in embarrassment while rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, "were sorry to wake you but were meeting early today because papa has a meeting with the clergy and after lessons and practice mix we have the rest of the day off", nodding you return into your room to get changed and to put on your muzzle and mask, the group waiting outside of your room for you to walk with them.

Lessons and practice going by quickly you find yourself in the library,helmet off, curled up and tucked into one of the couches reading another fairy-tale, looking intently at the pictures, your eyes irritated from not getting all of the sleep you normally get, theyre slowly drifting shut, you can only stay awake so much longer before your mind takes you to a rem sleep.

Waking up to mountain shaking you awake he smiles gently, "hey sleepy head, i was looking for you, its lunch time but it seems as though youre tired, we'll get you to your room and ill bring lunch to you there" he was a gentle giant ghoul and although you haven't said anything to anyone youre starting to warm up to him, he puts a book mark in the book and helps you up handing you your mask, you decide to just carry it with you.

Opening your door he hands you the book and you set it down atop your bed along with your mask, "do you want me to knock when i come back?" Thinking for a moment and shaking your head 'no' you'll probably just be asleep again, taking off the muzzle you set it with your mask getting ontop of your empty bed you curl up waiting while slightly dozing.

When he returns he walks in with your plate in hand, "wheres you stuff bud? Did they move you into an unready room?" You once more shake your head, pulling up the bedsheet curtain putting your nest on display, "aaah a safe spot, i completely understand, im here if you need anything, just holler my way" he kids while stepping out.

"Can you- stay?" You mutter through a slightly broken voice, catching him off guard, youre not sure why you asked but he seems easy to open up to, hes kinda like you.

"Id be honored"

You sat there mostly quiet eating but occasionally you'd respond and every time he would be looking elsewhere but the smile on his face said he was paying attention.

The more you got to know him the more you realized youre very similar to him.

《~♡~》

The next couple weeks youd spend lunch with him sharing stories while you sat in your nest and him at your desk, he talked about how fond the ghouls and ghoulettes and even the papas were of you, they all looked forward to you hopefully someday talk full sentences with them but for now with you slowly coming out of your shell, wearing your mask and muzzle less often and spending more time somewhat near the group, for now they were content watching you grow and become more of yourself.

You gave each person a sketch youd do of them from observation and mountain even brought you another sketchbook when he noticed you were running low on pages, you told him why youve been scared to come out of your room and your past experience with your previous summoning, you however didn't tell him why it failed but he understood itll take some time.

《~♡~》

One evening after another one of your delicious meals you were invited to watch a movie with everyone, accepting the offer you show up in your hoodie you just recently bought and pajama pants, socks with sticky tabs on the bottom so you didn't slip on the marble floors, you balled yourself up in a beanbag chair, others had grabbed pillows or stuffed animals from the pile in the corner, you go over to look through the pile, pulling out a well loved multi-textured dog plush, smiling and taking it over to your spot with you, focused on the textures, "very good choice little wisp" mountain hummed, your tail thumping against the bean bag chair, your cheeks and ears dusted purple once more, "i haven't held one since i was very small" you return.

After the movie you gave the plush one last hug before placing it atop the pile, "you know if you want you can take it to your room with you, we have them here for everyone" he encouraged but you shook your head, "he would miss his friends and i dont want to take someone elses opportunity of loving him away", little did you know the ghouls left in the room all felt their hearts melt, this wasnt new to them, theyve met ghouls and people whose minds are permanently part kit, they wouldn't say anything until you said something first, youre part of the family, you deserve to do it on your own terms.

Just the next evening when you returned from the library you come to find a black gift

Bag infront of your door with a tag that has your name on it.

Entering your room you set everything down before you open the bag, youre met with a soft multi-texture plush almost identical to the one from the other night but this one had weighted feet,and a book of several fairy-tales with a few purple tabs on certain pages along with it. A card that says, "a plush specifically for you and your love, i hope you give him a wonderful name, and a book my mother read to me when i was just a kit, one that you dont have to take back to the library"

Holding the plush out infront to look at him your headspace slipping quickly, thankfully you were in the safety of your bedroom and he would fit perfectly into your nest with you.

With plenty of time between now and dinner time, your chores being done and someone else being on dinner duty you took right now to relax.

in comfortable clothes you lay down in your nest with your book and the stuffy you named chip cause he reminded you of chocolate chip cookies, you named him late at night when you were feeling very small and it just stuck.

Closing your eyes when the words in the book were adding to the strain, from all the light today, hunger pulling a whine from you, if you slept for now youd wake up at the perfect time to eat dinner, you might even sit with rain and talk about the books youve read recently outside of the fairy-tales.

Being pulled out of your dreams by someone gently shaking you awake and calling your name, confusion built it way to your face, he doesn't need to knock but normally he chooses to, what brought him in?

"I know youre sleepy but its dinner time and i know you like your routine,  i tried knocking but you were out cold" he states after reading your scrunched and slightly confused face, handing you your bowl, tonight cirrus and swiss made dinner together.

Mountain sits on the floor across from you as you both ate in a comfortable silence, thats one thing about him, he tries to make sure hes not being a trigger for anyone with misophonia.

Eating slowly and running your hand along the textures of your stuffy, "s'named chip" you just barely say aloud, causing him to smile, "thats the most perfect name for him, does he give the best of cuddles?" Nodding youre completely unaware of the fact hes talking to you as if you were a kit, he was just being kind and attentive for all you knew, and while yes thats completely true he also saw through your silence, hes talked to semi-permanent kit-minded ghouls and he knew it was for safety of mind.

Both of you done with dinner, you pull out your sketchbook as he gets up to take the dishes to the kitchen, standing in the doorway looking down at you with a smile upon his face, "do you want me to come back after i put the dishes in the kitchen?" Watching as you ponder for a moment before nodding, looking up at him, never once more than now have you longed for physical contact with someone but you little mind craves it.

He returned quickly to see you moving your nest about, your movements less exact and a little choppy, he could see the irritation when the blankets wouldn't flatten out so he got down to help, fixing it for you he sat back on his knees when you planted yourself down closer to the wall than normal, you pat the spot next to you while holding chip close to your chest.

"You want me to cuddle little wisp?" He questioned already taking his jacket off before you hummed in response.

Cuddling was very common amongst ghouls so there was no questions asked as to why

It was naturally so second nature for most.

Curling into him he holds you close, your head resting on his chest, you could just fall asleep right now but you fought that instinct so you could savor a moment of feeling completely safe, where youre not being overstimulated.

"When i was first summoned i read those exact same books on ghouls with neurodivergencies, i remember reading that someone with a mind like the one both of us have can easily struggle in public environments or around new people"

He retold, causing you to question how he knew you read them.

"Oh wisp, i can hear just how stirring you mind can be, i saw you walking back to the library to return them, i want you to know that you are safe here with me and all of the others, im honored to cuddle, i didn't join a ghoul-pile until several months of being here."

Nodding to yourself, taking a moment to process his words when your own  join the party.

"Jus cant do touch with others almost ever, makes brain hurt and than hurts me aswell"

Your eyes started to sleepily flutterand he picks up the fairy-tales book he brought you, opening it up to one of the purple tabs, some of his favorites.

He read you to sleep, when his pants were starting to put deep seam imprints  into his legs causing him discomfort, he goes to leave the room but is stopped by you plea for him to stay, "ill be right back little mouse."

And like promised he did return in much more comfortable clothes, a blanket and a comfort item of his own, cuddling back up with you halfway ontop of him, covering the both of you with his blanket, setting your temporarily forgotten of stuffie in the corner above your head along with his.

《~♡~》

From than forward you and mountain spent Friday nights in your room reading and cuddling, going to lessons and practice together, he was helping you open up, when it would be your night to make dinner, which you had requested to have more than once a week instead of sink duty because soggy wet hands felt offensive to your skin, he would sit at the island watching unless one of his chores intercepted that period of time or if another ghoul requested his company.

It took five months to ease you out of you shell, at four you had brought up the regression and neurodivergency topics to the others and than out of fear you hid in your room for the weekend until dew stopped by inviting you to watch a movie with the others which you happily obliged to do so, remembering that its okay to be around others and be yourself, that night you sat on the couch behind the ghoul-pile falling asleep with chip in your arms, your tail intertwined with mountains.

Not wearing your mask unless you needed a break or everyone else was, copia had taken you aside at one point to find fabrics that looked like the others but were sensory safe so when it was time for uniforms you would feel comfortable.

At night you would go out to the garden in secret and jump around, spin, stomp, trill, chirp, coo and so much more. It helped tremendously.

《~♡~》

Tonight unlike the others was much louder in your head and harder to feel okay, already regressed you tried stomping around and flailing your hands but without meaning to you were once more pulling on your tail and scratching it painful and raw, the garden was closed for the night with new fertilizer being put down, taking chip you trail your way down to one of the last rooms, the shiny name plate reading 'mountain' you gave a slightly too heavy knock on the door, rocking back and forth on your feet, he answers and is suprised to see you standing there with deep grey tear tracks down your face, chip under your arm and your tail in hand scratching as you fumble with your words.

Letting you in he pats the bed for you to sit down while he turns on the light and pulls a shirt on over your head, sniffles and hiccups break your silence, he take your hands and holds them for a moment, watching the spade of your tail drop small dots of blood onto the marble floor, "come with me little wisp, its okay" he leads you to the bathroom, picking you up and setting you on the counter, lifting his tail for you to hold on, he knew full well you wouldn't scratch his, tracing the scars on his tail had you questioning if he did the same.

As he took hydrogen peroxide cleaning the small cuts and scrapes pulling a hiss from you in reaction, "i know hun, im sorry ive got to be mean and clean it but weve got to take care of it so it doesn't get icky ya-know?" He soothes, "you see the ones on my tail, theyre from the same thing, sometimes i almost start scratching at them again but i normally just hold my tail and put lotion on the scars to feel like im cleaning it up once more"

Once hes done patching you up he once again takes your hands leading you to his bed and looking through his closet. His room was well decorated and filled, a queen sized pillow top mattress and black wooden four poster bed frame against the wall, he had a collection of old trinkets including a camera that takes film, your father used to have one, several gas masks, a homophone record player. On the wall above his desk was a cork board coverd in the drawing youd given him, small trinkets littler his desk, before you could look further he brings over a box of similar small trinkets setting them infront of you.

"You can dump the box out if you want, find whatever works best, i have plenty more" dumping them out you turn the box upside down organizing them, finding three, liking them the most you put the duplicates of them and all the others away back in the box holding onto the three youd picked out, he puts the box under his bed, seating himself next to you, leaning into his side as he turns on one of the movies you'd taken interest in, "hey wisp can i hold chip?", nodding against his chest, paying deep attention to his heartbeat how slow and rhythmic, tapping your tail against the bed in the same beats, occasionally humming and trilling, his left hand running up and down your back, occasionally running though your hair gently.

"Youre gonna be okay little mouse, ive got you".

《~♡~》

Your first ghoul pile was something very special, stuffies piled everywhere, they all had banded together to make the room perfect for your comfort, your favorite music playing in the background, dew and sunshine had found you in the library quietly crying flicking around one of the fidgets mountain gave you

Humming and rocking back and forth, chip sitting ontop of your tail, you couldn't find mountain and you didn't want to taint the energy of your nest. Sunshine sat with you as dew went to find mountain, she lifted chip for a moment, carefully intertwining her tail with yours setting chip on your tails.

Dew returned around 10 minutes late with a smile upon his face, taking your open hand with sunshine carrying chip, they took you through the abbey to the lounge where the blanket, stuffy and pillow pile was spread across the floor, mountain and all the other were waiting, some of them already cuddled up, and others walking around, drawing the curtains and dimming lights, filling up a cooler to keep near the pile, mountain lead you to the group, curling himself around you with chip between the two of you, sunshine still connected to you laying back to back with you.

The first time being so close to the others all together and for once your brain lets it happen, youre not sure whose hand is running through your hair but it causes you to chirp, nuzzling you head into the hand.

Swiss tapping his forehead against yours, "youre welcome to stay as long as you need, this is your pile."

Theyre all so much more calm and centered on one another when theyre cuddled, with the warmth from all of the bodies it made it very easy to slip into a smaller headspace.

Cirrus reaching over mountain to wipe away the tear tracks with a wet cloth, they already had a feeling youd be disoriented with the news of the tour starting at the end of this month and the arrival of the outfits.

Cooing and trilling, others trilling back made you excitedly laugh.

《~♡~》

Youve been attached to at least one ghoul at all times, they knew you liked holding tails until you had to use your charm to pass as human, copia gave you a hug before he headed out first.

This was the first time youve seen mountain wear shoes, it looked as abnormal as it felt to not have a tail.

Standing in your place when papa introduces the band, not paying attention to him but instead the piece in your ear counting down til the lights cut off and mountain and dew are counted in, mountain looks to you taking an exasperated deep breath telling you to take one aswell, feeling the lights go out and the beat of mounts drums through the floor, counting the cymbal crashes and its time for you to join in, as soon as your hands start moving, you feel it, absolute euphoria, youre radioactive with energy,  the fans going wild, youre practically thrashing as you play, prancing around and jumping when youve got time to spare you run up front adding flair and showmanship to the ceremony, interacting with the others.

By the end youre absolutely drained, enough energy to hop about and screech getting rid of the last bit of energy, if all of the tour is like this youre gonna have an absolute blast, mountain hands you a couple drumsticks for you to throw after taking a bow, and than perching yourself in 'frog crouch' on mountains riser next to his drums watching everyone go about their ending routines, people throwing stuff on stage, bracelets and flags to hand made gothic style stuffed animals, the ghouls picking some stuff up to look at em, handing them to the designated ghouls if there was a name and handing the rest to anyone else like yourself, the ghoulettes and even papa, swiss picked up a couple hand made stuffed animals bringing them to sit next to you.

When it was time to leave the stage mountain came over opening his arms, you lean forward wrapping your arms around his shoulders and he sets you down on you feet, grabbing the teddy's leaning into his side, hes completely drenched in sweat but so are you, it was practically a work out so it was worth it.

In the van having let down the human charm you wash up and slip into pajamas, the stuffies and bracelets set in your bunk you stare out the window waiting flicking your fidget around, Cumulus walks by stopping to give you a hug, "you did great wisp, your energy was so contagious. ", nodding and tapping your forehead against hers in a silent communication, you were absolutely exhausted.

As soon as mountain is out of the shower you push yourself into his chest, finally time to rest, and with your favorite ghoul no doubt,  he hands you chip, folding into one another he holds you gently, as he pulls out the fairy tale he reads your favorites in the book, looking down when youre not humming out your regular vocal stims he realizes youve fallen asleep with your head on his chest, his hands running up and down your spine, tail occasionally thumping against the bed followed by nuzzling against him, "sleep well little wisp, you were so radiant tonight.

《~♡~》

Your room at the church of sin was finally decorated, still sleeping in your nest, the ghouls helped you assemble a proper loft bed with the mattress from your previous bed as part of the nest below, stuffies from the tour everywhere and bracelets hung on a set of racks to display them, posters scatterd on your walls, some plushies piled on the top matteress but keeping that open for the most part if someone wants to hang out. A bookshelf full of normal books and fairy-tales,  a starry curtain over your window with a matching opposite one around your nest. Chip in his spot as always hes constantly waiting for your cuddles.

Drawings of both your own and others, many interpretation of what fans saw you as, they call you gargoyle, but to the ghouls youre just a little wisp or little mouse, you were your most accurate self, you were finally at home.

(Accidentally posted the unfixed version, sorry bout that)

[rav3inth3grav3]

I’m debating who to write for next

More Rick

König

Ghost

Nameless ghoul Dewdrop

Or someone else???

Idk help plz?? <3

[ghoulphile]

it's always the quiet ones | c.h./the ghoul

➥ pairing | pre-war cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 700 ➥ warning(s) | 🔞 smut; oral (m receiving), throat fucking, choking, dirty talk, bathroom sex ➥ summary | based off this ask; We can see that Cooper tends to go for good girls (like @ghoulfuckersincorporated mentioned!), but what if he ran into a seemingly innocent - or at the very least kind - person… but they dirty talk like a sinner in the sack? ➥ notes | i humbly offer this drabble to @gingersforeverbox 🙈 masterlist | feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | feedback is always appreciated ❤️

It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?

At least, that’s what Cooper’s mama always said (and he wouldn’t know how right she was until he found himself shoved in a swanky club bathroom, slacks tucked under his ass as the prettiest — politest — lady choked herself with his cock).

Frankly, how he got here’s a hazy blur of bourbon and cigar smoke.

Whispered conversations and coy looks. The flash of cherry red nails, and a well timed head tilt; a pretty little thing cozied against him as nameless faces passed in and out of view.

Another pointless after party (though far smaller of an event than he used to pull) where vultures circled the room, waiting for their chance to pick at his bones. LA devotee’s ready to snap up the scraps of the once great Cooper Howard.

Dog eat dog; he couldn’t stand the petty games —the mindless indulgences.

So, he’d invited you as a buffer.

An acquaintanceship that’d gone back years, having met on set of one of his earlier productions, you were always cordial and had a kind word to say about anybody. Not a mean bone in that body… or so he’d thought.

Now, he’s not so sure he knows you half as well as he thought he did.

“Fuck!”

Air hisses through his teeth, his hands hovering over the sides of your head, unsure where to grip. Your hair looks awfully pretty (like it took a long time to force into shape), he’d hate to ruin the style. But if you keep trying to suck his soul out through his cock, he might just have to sink his fingers into those delicate curls and yank.

“S-Sweetheart, what are you — oh, ssshit.”

You peer up at him from beneath the spiky fan of your lashes and hum. His hips jump and you choke, your tongue pinned as your teeth scrape along his thick shaft.

Spit drips past your swollen lips, clings to your chin in sticky strings. The lower half of your face is a mess of smeared lipstick and pre-cum.

He pants, gazing down at you with awe. “How’re you so fucking good at this?”

He’s so big, stretching your mouth to the limit. A tender ache sets behind the hinge of your jaw, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

Those half-lidded eyes, dark and hungry, make it all worth it. The slack circle of his mouth, the pained furrow of his brows as he wrestles with his self control all the payment you require.

You pop off; trace along the throbbing vein with your tongue as the heavy weight of his cock slips free with a wet suction. Your thighs clench and your toes curl in your heels at the low-throated groan punched from his chest.

“Practice makes perfect, don’t you think, Mr Howard?” you press a sloppy kiss to his leaking slit, lapping up the salty beads of fluid. Your fingers roll his balls, dragging the tips of your nails along the sensitive skin to watch him shiver. “Besides, I’ve seen how you look at me.”

His eyes flick off to the side, blowing wide once he catches your reflections in the mirror. He gulps, his knuckles white beside his hips. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetheart.”

“Please, spare me.”

You snort, roll your eyes and shoot him a catty grin. Laugh when his cock throbs at the teasing flash of your tongue.

“You’re sweet — as true a gentleman as they come — but you can’t fool me. You’ve wanted me since you met me... and I don't get my best dress dirty for just anyone.”

“...”

“Now, before you try to say otherwise, remember whose on their knees with your cock in their mouth.”

“...No. Y-You’re right but I… I shouldn’t want to.”

You wink, circle the crown of his head with a red nail. More pre-cum dribbles from the slit, sticky drops you kiss away with your tongue.

“It’s okay, Mr Howard,” you say. “I want you too. Now do us both a favor and fuck my throat until I can’t talk. Please, I want it to hurt — want you to make me cry.”

[sink-me-in-your-ocean]

Just a Quick(ie) Change

Papa Copia x gn!Reader smut

WC: 3100

A/N: I think I blacked out when I wrote this at 2am. This one is for @endhisbloodlineinmyesophagus - thank you for spamming me with pics of Copia’s amazing thighs.

Content warnings: oral sex m!receiving. 18+ only. Minors DNI.

NSFW below the cut.

Hired as a quick-change assistant, you didn’t expect much from the job backstage for Papa Emeritus IV.

You never expected, one, that you’d actually enjoy your job, and two, that the two other assistants would quit right before a tour. 

It was much too close to the start of the ritual tour to hire someone on the spot. Sister Imperator always had the last word, and since the clergy was thousands of miles away from her at the moment, it was an inopportune time to be short-staffed. Papa required many, many intricate costume changes during rituals. Usually, these changes required at least six additional hands, but at least for the next several shows you’d have to make do with just your two.

It was down to you and him when he’d come backstage. Sometimes another member of the crew would bring him refreshments while the nameless ghouls stalled on stage, riffing and whatnot, but mostly it was just the two of you. This led to witty banter, goofy little mishaps, and the like. Some accidents even led to flirtatious jokes between you two as you quickly warmed to each other.

Papa rushed offstage, clutching the front of his trousers. Holding back a laugh, you couldn’t resist asking, “Are your pants falling off or are you just eager to see me?”

He put his hand to his heart, exclaiming a word in Italian before inhaling in a dramatic gasp. “My button popped off.”

You knew his button came off while he was performing - you had a small live monitor in your closet - coloring you thoroughly impressed by the movements of his hips. You had the cheesy line and a needle, thread, and replacement for the offending button prepared as soon as you saw it happen. 

The laugh you shared together wasn’t the first, and certainly would not be the last of the evening. You couldn’t place why it brought you so much joy to just make him smile in between sets. It was a moment of complete and utter glee in the midst of the madness that went into each ritual.

Zippers got caught, shoes were left untied, robes were wrinkled, the whole nine. It was like Murphy’s Law backstage sometimes… anything that could go wrong, would go wrong. 

On the second night of your solo adventure, in the middle of a particularly intricate change involving his Dracopia bat wings, Papa said something to you that would keep your mind stirring the entire night. He was on a high from the opening of the show, beaming at you from the moment he saw you, but this… this was different.

“I enjoy our time together, you know.”

“What?” Your focus was on the second, most stubborn, buckle as you stood in front of him. The harness couldn’t lace itself up so you kept working, your fingers nimbly adjusting as he kept speaking.

“Well, it’s just that I’m used to so many people poking and prodding me, shoving me this way and that, just going through the motions.” He paused, tilting his head to listen for his cue coming up before he continued, “But with you this is different, I feel like I’m actually getting a break instead of just being rushed around like a…how do they say... chicken with its head cut off.”

You finished the last buckle, securing it in place and patting his arm as you were utterly lost for words. His sentiment cut through you like a blade, but was as soft as a feather pillow. 

He turned on his heel as he walked away, but paused and looked over his shoulder, winking at you before walking back on stage. The crowd of devotees screamed and you stood alone in the dark, accompanied only by the mass of butterflies in your stomach. 

The rest of the night went by as usual, but somehow smoother than expected. The stolen glances between you and Papa were more heated, and held more weight than before. Neither one of you crossed that threshold that night though; You refused to be the first one to take this - whatever this is - to the next level.

The next show you were alone, yet once more. Sister Imperator unsurprisingly didn’t like any of the candidates that had applied for the position, not deeming them ‘good enough’ to work with Copia. She never called him Papa, you noticed. 

Sister was doing her best to assuage you while simultaneously making your head hurt. She was always kind to you for some unknown reason, but tonight she was truly laying it on thick, “… but you, my dear, are a diamond in the rough. You’ll have to shine on your own just a little longer.”

The video call glitched, her word’s temporarily interrupted by a bad connection as she said something else.

“I’m sorry, would you repeat that? It sounded like you said it’s just going to be me for the rest of the week.”

“Oh no, I didn’t say that.” The video finally stabilized. You sighed in relief before she continued. “I said you’ll be on your own for the rest of the tour.”

Your face fell. It felt like a two-ton weight was placed on your chest, or that you were shoved in a truck, locked in, and the key was thrown away. 

No help? Seriously?

She noted your facial expression before you could reel yourself in. “Don’t worry my dear, we will compensate you more for the lack of help you have, but at least I know that my - cough - er, the Cardinal, will be happy in your capable hands.”

You tried to hide your dismay, “O-Kay.”

“I’ve got to run off now little one, try to make the best out of it, alright?”

“I promise, Sister, thank you.”

You sighed again, to no one this time and not out of relief. To be on your own the rest of the tour seemed, in practice, too much. You had only done two shows solo and the limited sanity you had was already wearing thin. Suddenly, you had a strange thought that warmed your body: if you’re the only one then that means more time for you and Papa to get to know each other. 

Your traitorous heart gave a squeeze. More time alone with him couldn’t possibly be a bad thing… could it?

Perhaps? Perhaps not. But you could certainly think of many, many bad things to do.

One week later 

Your heart was pounding as you did your final checks. Everything tonight was going to run perfectly. 

The first change went to plan, then the next. Every second that passed with the two of you in each other's vicinity felt like an eternity. Your own personal hell of stolen glances and small comments. Of shallow breaths and lingering touches. 

“Is this new?” He nodded to your night-black long-sleeved dress. All-black was the dress code for backstage crew so tonight you’d opted for a racy mini dress and long black stockings to cover your legs up to the thigh. Only a salacious inch of skin showed between the garments, and Papa couldn’t resist peeking. 

Flattered that he noticed, you blushed, “Yes, it is.” You straightened his robes, ensuring the easily-wrinkled fabric lay perfectly in its place. 

“I’d like to see it off you later.” He reached with one gloved hand and ran two fingers along the visible skin of your thigh, making you tremble with want. It felt like the little room turned into a furnace, just from that.

Quick as a flash he grabbed his prop from your open palm before you could react and darted back out to the stage, leaving you in shock with the realization that he wants you just as badly as you want him. 

You pace back and forth, setting everything out for the next change. At one point the stage manager pops in, asks you if you need anything and you assure them that you’re good. 

There’s only one person who can give you what you need.

As soon as the cue hits for him to exit your palms tingle in anticipation. Your eyes lit up as you saw him, stripping him out of the floor-length robe immediately to get started on the next change. But Papa had other ideas.

His gloved hands grabbed you firmly, one on your jaw and the other at your waist to pull you into a deep and sensuous kiss. You felt the electricity between you buzz from your lips down to your toes. Your body responded before you truly realized what was happening, and you kissed him back with equivalent enthusiasm. 

He growled as you parted your lips to dart your tongue out, grazing his teeth once before going back on the next kiss to taste his tongue. You moaned, greedily, taking in a deep breath through your nose to inhale his bouquet of fragrant cologne and hair products. It felt like the two of you were kissing with the need of long-lost lovers, reunited after a decade of time. He grabbed and groped at your body, pulling you closer as though he never wanted to let you go.

You did your best not to be too handsy with him in return, as you didn’t want to fuck up his costume.

Fuck! His costume!

The head-spinning thrill of the kiss made him miss his cue to go back on stage, both of you too caught up in the passion of the moment to feel the world around you. You broke the kiss and violently threw items at him to put on. Luckily this change was one of the easier ones, but it never looked good for Papa to delay his return to the stage.

The stage manager came in again, “Everything alright in there?”

“Yes! Just a stubborn zipper again!” You laughed breathily to cover up your anxious flitting about while Papa stayed silent. 

“Alright, well, hurry it along, the ghouls are going to start eating each other out there if not.” They sounded less than pleased before cutting back out of the tiny room.

“Heard.” You replied curtly, not in the mood to have your moment ruined any further. 

“I don’t know how to say this without sounding like a dickhead,” your breath caught in your chest. Did he regret the kiss? “You have a little, er, smudge.” He motioned towards his lip.

You looked in the mirror beside you, hells below, he was right! You had black makeup from him smudged all over. 

He giggled his way back out, leaving you furiously rubbing at your lips and chin, your face fully flushed with embarrassment.

By the next quick change, you two had a pattern working perfectly. 

First, change out of the previous costume.

Second, put the next one on.

Third, and most importantly, spend any and all remaining seconds kissing each other like giddy teenagers.

You both became a desperate mess of hands, lips, and teeth. You even picked up a few new tricks: one of which being that you could tie his tie exceedingly well while he had his tongue in your mouth. You got a little too handsy now, stroking him through his pants as his hands gripped your rear. Feeling him growing with every motion was spurring you on, making you almost delirious with need.

“I’ll see you shortly.” He exhaled heavily, palming the front of his pants to adjust the placement of his dick. It was adorable how he was going to go out there like this, pantomiming that nothing had transpired, but you were fine with it, it was a little game.

“I’ll be waiting.” You called after him.

The longest break in the show was up next, and you already knew what to do. You were on your knees before he finished the song, his cue to move backstage for his change came and when he saw you he stopped in his tracks. 

“Don’t just stand there now, come over here and let me taste you.” Your bold words seemed to almost miss him, as he looked to be in a trance. He soon snapped out of it, taking a few steps to you and closing the distance. 

He stroked your hair, “You don’t have to do this right now, we can wait until later.”

His suggestion was tempting but unnecessary, you were committed to this. “I gave you a problem, and I want to take care of it for you. May I?” You pleaded up at him and his mouth dropped open.

“Yes. Fuck, please.”

With his explicit permission you went to work. It was well-known that Papa went commando on stage. However, this didn’t make it any less difficult for you to peel the “rat-eaten” black pants off of him. His sweat combined with the stiff, unforgiving tightness of the trousers and made it quite difficult for you to wrench him from the tight fabric. 

You wrestled the fabric down, exposing the very tops of his delicious thighs and in the middle, his magnificent thick cock sprung forth. Your mouth watered at the sight, so long and hard, how you wanted - no - needed to taste him. 

You wet your lips, looking up at him and not wanting to waste any more time as you pressed your tongue lightly to the underside of the hot tip. You flicked your tongue to the very end, where a bead of pre-cum was leaking out. 

Tasting him stirred something within you that made your insides clench. You wanted so much more than just to give him a sloppy blow job in the stage right closet at a ritual. But this would have to do for now. 

The salt of his sweat on your tongue was like a drug to you, and you needed more of everything. You impaled yourself on his length, gagging obscenely as you took as much of him into your mouth as possible. 

He groaned as you sucked at him, your tongue working to massage the underside of his shaft. You bobbed your head back and forth, one of your hands coming up to follow the motion of your mouth. It slid back and forth easily, the copious amount of spit already coating his length made for ideal lubrication.

Your other hand steadied yourself by gripping his exposed thigh, squeezing the flesh lightly, your fingertips satisfied just by touching his bare skin. You felt your arousal again, a pulse at the apex of your legs thrumming to almost fierce levels. Fuck, you wanted to put one of your hands between your own legs, but right now, your focus was solely on Papas pleasure.

He exhaled with a ‘ha’ sound, another groan making its way out through his clenched teeth. You felt one of his hands curl itself through your hair, pulling slightly to get your attention.

You looked up at him, and you were so turned on by the sight. Papa’s face was contorted in lustful indulgence. Some of his hair plastered itself to his forehead while other pieces stuck out at the sides as though he had been running his fingers through the salt-and-pepper strands. You made a quick mental note to fix it before he went back on stage. 

He pulled again at your hair and you removed your mouth from him, although your hand continued to work, stroking up and down his entire shaft. 

“Fuck my mouth Papa.” The words in your desire-filled heart spoke themselves aloud.

He growled, “Open up.”

You did exactly as you were told, moving both hands now to his thighs as he readjusted his grip on your hair. The music was changing, the instrumental interlude was almost to an end. Your mouth opened wide and you got your wish.

Papa fucked your mouth as though the success of the ritual depended on it. He wasted no time pressing his impressive length into your mouth and throat as far as it could go. Your gag reflex was being obliterated with each thrust of his hips forwards. After several quick, punishing blows to your throat it finally relaxed. You were at his mercy, and mercy, he was not pulling any punches.

Tears stained your cheeks, an ache started in your jaw, and your facial muscles tensed. The pressure, the pain was all made worth it as you looked up through bleary eyes to see Papa. His chest shuddered with every breath. His heterochromatic eyes watched you and his eyebrows were knit together. Papa's mouth hung open and dirty remarks, expletives, and guttural sounds of pleasure sputtered out. 

“Look at you, so wanton, so needy for my cock that you’ll kneel before me.”

You hummed in response, pressing your thighs together to try to gain even a slight bit of friction between them. 

It could have been the vibrations from your hum that put him over the edge, or maybe it was that he knew he had to get back out there, but his grasp in your hair tightened. Your scalp flashed in white hot pain as he cried out in one final thrust and painted the back of your throat with hot, heavy spurts of his release.

You swallowed greedily, not wanting a single drop to be missed as he pulled out of your mouth and moved to quickly pull his pants back up. He knelt down unexpectedly, and you met his gaze. His gloved hands wiped the tears from your cheeks as he leaned forward and kissed you on your swollen lips.

“Grazie, mi amore, I shall return the favor after the show.”

With one final caress to your cheek with his hand, he stood, pulling his bright, glittering jacket on one arm at a time. You watched, rosy-cheeked and soft-eyed as he straightened his clothes, checking himself out in the mirror. Of course he looked over everything except his hair.

You snapped out of your lightheaded stupor with a second of time to remain, shooting to your feet, “Wait!”

He turned towards you and you wiped your damp hands on your thigh-highs before reaching up to smooth his soft hair back into place. You covered his eyes and with your dominant hand snagged the miniature can of hairspray out of your stash of supplies to fix everything back in place. 

You’d be damned if you didn’t do your job. 

Papa grabbed you by your collar once you dropped your hands, kissing you once more before heading back on stage. The scent of hairspray, his cologne, and sweat created a haze for you to dream in, thinking of the implications of his words from earlier.

You couldn’t wait for him to return the favor.

[onedaughterofman]

About me and fic masterlist <3

Hi! I can speak English and Spanish. This is a +18 blog, so please DON'T follow/interact if you're underage.

Also, PLEASE DO NOT repost my works on ANY OTHER SITE. They are exactly where I want them to be.

Fics are under #my writing tag!

Fic masterlist under the cut!

In all the fics the reader is gender neutral, unless I say otherwise.

You, forever: Papa Emeritus IV x reader. Angst, a bit of horror. Evil! Copia. Antichrist! Copia. COMPLETED

Chapter I: Life eternal

Chapter II: Maternal slave

Chapter III: If you have ghost

Chapter IV: A funeral pyre

Chapter V: Kiss the goat under the spell

Chapter VI: Your friend Death

Chapter VII: Zenith interlude

Chapter VIII: Spawn of pure malevolence

Chapter IX: Waiting for the night

Chapter X: Dance Macabre

Chapter XI: Thank you, now go, go

Evil: Papa Emeritus III x reader. Rated T, some sexual innuendos.

Admirer: Aether ghoul x reader. Fluff. PART II

Hope: Aether ghoul x reader. Fluff.

Ritual: Papa Emeritus (any of them) x reader x Nameless Ghoul (any of them). +18, adult content.

Sun: Papa Emeritus (any of them) x reader. Fluff, comfort.

Premature burial: Mary Goore x reader. Rated T, a bit of horror.

Call me: Cardinal Copia x reader. +18, adult content.

Night: Papa Emeritus (any of them) x reader. +18, adult content.

Ring: Cardinal Copia x reader. +18, adult content.

Sin: Papa Emeritus (any of them) x reader. +18, adult content.

Bless me: Papa Emeritus (any of them) x reader. +18, adult content.

Vampire Party: Young! Sister Imperator x reader. Rated T, vampirism.

Cold: Dew/Sodo/Fire Ghoul x reader. Rated T, some sexual innuendos.

Prime Mover: Papa Emeritus (any of them) x reader. +18, adult content.

For me: Papa Emeritus III x reader. +18, adult content.

Dying tonight: Resurrected! Papa Emeritus III x reader. Angst.

Garments: Cardinal Copia x reader. +18, adult content.

Dance Macabre: Young! Sister Imperator x reader x Young! Papa Nihil. +18, adult content.

Goodnight, again: Young! Papa Nihil x reader. Fluff.

Rebirth: Vampire! Papa Emeritus x reader. Rated T. Mentions of injuries and blood. Vampirism.

Feisty: Nameless Ghoul (any of them) x reader. Rated M. Light adult content.

Binding ritual: Nameless Ghoulettes x reader. Fluff.

Untitled vignette: Papa Emeritus III x Omega Ghoul. Angst.

That classic "getting sold to" fic: Papa Emeritus IV x reader. Humor, crack fic.

Dark Waltz: Vampire! Papa Emeritus (any of them) x reader. Rated T.

Another bloody Mary: Mary Goore x Young! Nihil. Angst, crack ship.

Untitled vignette #2: Rain Ghoul x reader. Humor, bit of crack fic.

Ruin me: Nameless Ghoul x reader. +18, adult content.

Untitled vignette #3: Papa Emeritus III x Omega Ghoul. Angst.

Untitled vignette #5: Papa Emeritus IV x reader. +18, adult content.

Untitled vignette #6: Mary Goore x reader. Rated T, angst and emotional hurt/comfort.

Writing Sessions #1: Papa Emeritus IV x reader. Rated M, manipulative manwhore Copia, sexual innuendos.

Terzo x Omega scenario: Rated T, angst.

Writing Sessions #2: Papa Emeritus III headcanon. Angst, self esteem issues, depersonalization, imposter syndrome.

Writing Sessions #3: Cardinal Copia x reader. Rated M. Not explicit, but sexual themes. Fluff. Copia being weird and dumb.

Writing Sessions #4: Papa Emeritus II x reader. Rated T, sexual tension, age difference, Secondo being dark and handsome.

Writing Sessions #4 PART II: Papa Emeritus II x reader. +18, adult content.

Writing Sessions #5: Papa Emeritus III x Omega Ghoul. Angst.

Writing Sessions #6: Mary Goore x reader. Rated T, mostly fluff, some sexual tension. Blood (fake)

Writing Sessions #7: Papa Emeritus I x reader. +18, adult content.

Writing Sessions #8: Papa Emeritus I x reader. +18, adult content.

Writing Sessions #9: Papa Emeritus I x reader. +18 adult content.

Sacrifice me: Papa Emeritus x reader. +18 adult content.

PD: The Devil works hard but I'm sitting next to him chugging coffee like it's water.

Feel free to share this list with your Ghesties. Spread the word of the Lord!

[undyingghoul]

Don't Forget Me

Pairing: Nameless Ghoul x GN!Reader Warnings: Blood, murder, descriptions of murder, mentions of suicide, death, mentions of self-harm, violence, mentions of suicide IF ANY OF THIS IS TRIGGERING FOR YOU DO NOT READ READ AT YOUR OWN RISK ~~~~~~

It's been months now. Months since it all happened. He couldn't forget it. He couldn't forget you. Your smile, your laugh, the way you lit up when you saw him, the way you'd greet him when he came back from tour. He couldn't forget your scent, he couldn't forget the way you'd waited for him during his practice. He couldn't forget your stunning eyes and he couldn't forget your delicate touch or the sweet sound of your voice. He couldn't forget your screams. He couldn't forget your pleas and your begs to live. He couldn't rid of the look of horror you had on your face that had been permanently etched and burned into his memory. He couldn't forget those awful sounds you made, the sounds of flesh tearing and animalistic growls forever echoing in his ears. He couldn't forget the way he held you in his arms as he scream and sobbed, blood drenching him. He didn't want to accept you were gone. That you weren't coming back. That he'd be alone. Again. He couldn't forget the image of the lifeless Ghoul in front of him, bloodied, broken, and ruined. The Ghoul that brought your death. The Ghoul that now no longer lived, a deed done by his own hands to try and bring you a sliver of justice. He couldn't forget the sounds of thumping footsteps that made him wince every time, the way he heard the gasps and 'oh no's come from siblings and other Ghouls. He couldn't forget the looks of horror and shock on his fellow Ghoul's faces when they finally saw what had happened. He couldn't forget the way they'd taken you from him only to disappear with you down the hall away from the scene. He couldn't forget how it took his four fellow Ghouls to hold him back as they took you from him. He shouted, screamed, sobbed, yelled, and cried so desperately for you to come back. He needed you to come back. He missed you every single day. He couldn't forget the lonely, dark, gloomy nights alone, so overtaken by rage and depression that'd he destroy anything he could, even himself. He couldn't forget the multiple times that he'd needed immediate medical attention because of what he'd done to himself only to do it again at a later time. He couldn't forget how dull and dark the world was with you gone, he couldn't forget the utter despair he felt day after day after day. He couldn't forget the times he tried to end his life by any means possible. If you weren't here, he didn't want to be here, either. He couldn't forget the days he'd spent in hiding, not wanting anything to do with the outside world unless you came back. He couldn't bear to see everything that reminded him of you. But what was forever burned and hammered into were your last words to him. "D-Don't for-forget m-me, ok, my pre-precious G-Gh-Ghoul? I'll- I'll alwa-always b-be he-here... I-I lo-love you... My pre-precious Ghoul..."

[ghoulphile]

janey's dad | c.h./the ghoul | teaser

➥ pairing | cooper howard/the ghoul x f!reader ➥ word count | 465 for the teaser, overall wordcount tbd ➥ overall warning(s) | 🔞 smut; age gap (i hc reader to be late 20s but i tried to leave it vague enough), cowgirl position, biting, hair pulling, choking, squirting, teasing, pining, lipstick kink, breast/nipple play, masturbation (m), porn w/ feelings, porn w/ plot, mild angst w/ happy ending, coop's pov to start - rest of the fic will be in reader's, divorced!coop, babysitter!reader, pre-war/bomb ➥ summary | "We really s-shouldn't - oh fuck - be doing this." ➥ notes | here's a teaser for the fic i took a poll on, some people wanted more info 😊 coop is a big dick dilf fite me. feedback is always appreciated ❤️ lmk if you want to be tagged feel free to send in thots, questions, requests! | masterlist

Divorce is hard, but being a divorcé is downright hellish.

Ugliest thing in the world, if Cooper Howard has any say.

It's not like being a Marine with a gun in hand, being told where to point and shoot, or an actor reading off a script. There's no guidebook, no crash course. These people aren't nameless threats coasts away or co-workers following a cue.

In fact, his 'enemies' aren't enemies at all.

They have names: Barb, so smart it hurts, and sweet little Janey, his very own North star. Sometimes looking at them rips open a hole in his chest that'll never close, edges jagged and sore. The phantoms of family, of happier times, found in the glint of a smile or a peal of laughter.

See, war's something he understands. Something he's good at.

But these domestic battlefields where he's gotta look his ex-wife in the face, and struggle to meet his daughter's eye? Barter this weekend and that holiday? To pay for the privilege of his child's presence (he does, he will, she's worth every goddamn cent he's ever made)?

To look down the barrel of a smoking gun only to find the woman he loves staring back; he doesn't, can't, comprehend that. Because once upon a time, he was happy (with her) and life was sweeter than pie.

Now he's nothing but a washed up actor who struggles to land a call back let alone make his monthly alimonies. His marriage has failed, his reputation is in shambles, and his bank account is dryer than the Mojave.

Barb gets the house. He gets the dog.

And caught in the middle of it all is his little girl; the only thing he’s got left worth while. He wants to protect her, provide for her the way she deserves — only he seems to fall short every goddamn time.

The mistakes and missteps keep stacking up against him; such is his new life in all its raw, unglamorous glory.

Look how far the mighty fall.

Lucky for him — the first bright thing that's come his way in a long, long while — a sweet, young woman moves into the apartment next door. Of course, it isn't long before Janey takes a shine, always so friendly.

Thankfully, you're just as good with her.

It only makes sense you'd watch her when a gig runs late. Rustle up some grub and put her to bed whenever he slinks in through the door, stripped to the bone.

And if he takes himself in hand late at night, stroking his cock to the thought of you down on your knees in that pretty little sundress? Imagines the wide stretch of your lush mouth as you peer up at him from between his thighs when he cums hard?

Well, what you don't know won't hurt you.

After all, he promises to keep his hands to himself.

part 01 of full fic