#i get distracted from one shitpost by another

[melioristicbeast]

What was my plan for the day: a quick warmup and get some work done on a comic project

What ended up happening: mid-panel i remembered this image, the demons overtook me and suddenly it’s 10pm ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dreadbornesaint-moved]

do you ever think of how scary beryl is even if the whole saint thing didn't happen bc.... goodness gravy she's terrifying

[httpsserene]

𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐞𝐭 “𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤”𝐞𝐝 - 𝐨𝐩. 𝟖𝟏

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: oscar’s girlfriend is feral on main. 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: crack. this is a shitpost, you have been warned. uh this is completely unrealistic, it’s pure vibes okay. this is not an accurate representation of those mentioned. 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: oscar piastri x fem!black!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: smau.

𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: i wouldn’t consider myself an oscar girlie but then,,, i opened tumblr and saw the photos of oscar from when he went karting and um…now have another op 81 mess of a smau! this is completely unserious and it’s inspired by the nefarious actions i would do to oscar’s biceps. inspired by @dwarvenchords and @hookhausenschips ‘s reblog lol. it’s short but, enjoy, loves xxx.

insp. 1 | insp. 2 | taglist | feedback & requests | table of contents ↻

instagram

yninstagram • february 28th

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oscarpiastri: love…you couldn’t even save this for the close friends stories? you had to post it on main yninstagram: did you like my joke? oscar “jack”ed piastri LOL im so clever oscarpiastri: ijbol 😐 yninstagram: i’d be pressed but ur muscles are distracting me oscarpiastri: u should cmere and give them a kiss :)

lilymhe: he let u tie a bow around his bicep?!!! omfg i have to do this with alex yninstagram: i don’t think alex has enough muscles to meet the requirement for the bow :/

landonorris: he’s such a simp landonorris: i would never let my girlfriend tie a bow on me 🥱 yninstagram: step 1: have a girlfriend

logansargeant: your freak out on twitter had a slight mentally-ill aura yninstagram: shut the fuck up and get on a podium before you talk to me yninstagram: gangly bitch + not funny didn’t laugh + L

instagram

yninstagram • february 28th • in between my boyfriends tiddies ⚑

liked by, oscarpiastri, mclaren, logansargeant, markwebber, and 1,223,458 others

yninstagram: things to do with your boyfriends muscles; listed in the comments below (a huge thanks to the toto user on twt for FINALLY sending me the photo)

tagged oscarpiastri

view comments

yninstagram 1. tie a bow around them (completed)

➥ user thx for sharing the photo

➥ user FUCK! I CAN’T FIND A PIECE OF PAPER TO WRITE THIS ON

yninstagram 2. kiss them (completed)

➥ user awh how cute! going to nap on the interstate rq

➥ user wait for me!

➥ user omg slumberpartyyyyy

yninstagram 3. touch them (completed)

➥ markwebber there’s a time i thought you were a normal girl

➥ yninstagram who told you to think that??

user i know those arms are rock solid 🥴🤤

user i’m the toto user on twitter !!! she did not kill me y’all !!!

➥ user u were flirting with death babes

➥ user i would not have admitted to this under her post

➥ user you should seek witness protection 🙏🏾

yninstagram 4. have him suffocate you with them (he said no)

➥ oscarpiastri WHY DID YOU INCLUDE THIS ONE

➥ logansargeant i think you’re proving the mentally-ill part y/n

➥ yninstagram u sound jealous logan

➥ user personally, i think if you didn’t want her to say that, you shouldn’t have muscles @/oscarpiastri

➥ oscarpiastri oh! yeah! why didn’t i think of that—lemme just take them off rq 😐 WTH

yninstagram 5. wall sex (?)

➥ oscarpiastri i specifically said not to say #4 and #5 in public

➥ user the question mark is SENDING MEEEEE

➥ yninstagram i mean, i can tell you that he didn’t say no to this one 😈 @/user

➥ landonorris i did not want to see this when i opened ig

➥ yninstagram do us all a favor then and delete ur account x

➥ oscarpiastri what she said^

➥ landonorris :o -> :(

yninstagram 6. draw on them (in progress)

➥ user wait this one is actually cute 🤭

➥ oscarpiastri watching the pure concentration on her face is adorable

➥ user omg she’s so 👉🏼👈🏼 coded

➥ oscarpiastri it tickles lol

➥ yninstagram ur moving around too much

➥ yninstagram might have to tie you to the headboard 😏

➥ user and she’s back on her bs

yninstagram 7. watch him flex for you (ongoing indefinitely)

➥ mclaren do we have your permission to post oscar thirst traps now?

➥ yninstagram i’m sure we could work out something mutually beneficial

oscarpiastri • february 28th • my girl’s basement ⚑

liked by yninstagram, danielricciardo, logansargeant, landonorris, and 1,478,539 others

oscarpiastri she knocked out on my chest halfway through drawing on me. didn’t know this was part of the boyfriend job description, felt like there was some false adverting. overall: 12/10 experience, will be doing this again.

view comments

danielricciardo didn’t know where this was going for a sec but fuck you guys are so cute 🥹

➥ oscarpiastri thank you? i guess

➥ user oh to have my relationship praised by danny ric

➥ user girl ur man responds to your texts two days late

➥ user DAMN u didn’t have to air out my business like thatttt

user WHAT DID SHE USE TO DRAW ON YOU OSCAR??? HELP A GIRL OUT

➥ oscarpiastri its liquid eyeliner 🫡

➥ oscarpiastri she used an eyeshadow palette when she wanted to add colors

➥ user why did i never think of that, she’s so smarttttt

user oscar piastri the MAN that u AREEEE

logansargeant so,,,,are we still getting dinner later orrrrr

➥ user LOL

➥ user omg y/n was right logan IS jealous

➥ logansargeant im not jealous !!!!

➥ user 💀

➥ user okayyyy….we believe you LMAOOOOO

➥ oscarpiastri ijbol 😂

➥ logansargeant stop using ijbol it’s not funny

➥ user this will be the only time that i say i agree with logan on something

➥ logansargeant ur literally a fan account FOR ME?? @/user

➥ user yeah man u didn’t have to bring that up 😒

taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @tallrock35 @iloveyou3000morgan @smartstupyd @spideybv28 @loomiscorpse @hiireadstuff

© httpsserene2023

[acid-ixx]

lovefool by the cardigans

— series concept ft. soft yandere dc! x bimbo/himbo reader

soft yandere! dc characters x himbo/bimbo/careless reader... who's just a bundle of joy to be with... where all the villains have an agreement to never mess with you, hell even kidnap you occasionally from the arms of the heroes just to hear you rant endlessly about your 'mundane' life as if you weren't just abducted... where the heroes would quite frankly sometimes have to put you in some sort of human leash because you wouldn't literally panic if there's a gun pointed against you...

the urge to make a shitpost/romcom series just because i listened to lovefool by the cardigans... no idea of platonic/romantic but i'm just moving on with the flow... a bit more on the romantic side ig...

i'm going feral at the thought of a wild goose chase with you, because one second you're bundled up in the arms of the justice league, each one of them scheduled to strictly watch over you, another is stationed near the door as they'd be the one to get you anything you want or need— then suddenly you're at a villain's lair that houses all the bad guys and then oops! you accidentally inhaled the scarecrow's fear gas but you're not reacting?! is your mind filled with air...? all your response was a quirk of your eyebrows and a question that's just "is there any signal here? the league told me to call me if i'm in any trouble...?" which then you would quickly take back and instead would smile at them like some goons didn't just threaten you with a knife to your neck just because you screamed, calling the scarecrow's mask a sack of moving, possessed potatoes.

originally, most villains would whisk you away from the arms of your vigilante babysitters but then they discover you're just a bundle of joy who laughs at the shittiest joke anyone could make, who snorts at their 'funny' antics and words, who grins when they take pictures of you to use as bait that you're being held hostage. it kind of goes to the point that their original plans all go to waste and they decide to just, take you all for themselves. they don't even know how you were able to survive being thrown around carelessly by the shoulders of big, muscular men, but they're more jealous at the image of you giggling and running your hands through muscles arms and toned abs; so they took it in themself to be the ones to guide you through your now makeshift room, hoping you would fawn over them with those cute stars in your eyes...

and if you were taken back into the arms of the vigilantes? oh god, the heroes can't even scold you because you'd be already hugging the next person in the room, babbling endlessly about your adventures with the villains and ignoring their seething envy with just how much you brag about how some are "too hot to be evil! i think i can change them!" because why are you talking about some randoms who just kidnapped you for their own gain when you have them right there? no way are you now getting out of their sights, them trying so hard to even distract you from going outside because "it's just too dangerous to be out there, boo! you're safe with us."

and you just nod your head with that toothy grin of your! are you seriously unaware of how much the richest of the rich are willing to pay for just an hour of your already shining presence? hell, you're just too... out of it, to the point you'll be the one who discovers their secret identities just by accidentally noticing details that nobody with functioning thoughts would even think about.

"batman! you must be bruce wayne, right?" you randomly approach him one day, with a foot tapping the floor impatiently. you stare at him like you had made a scientific discovery.

"... how do you know...?"

"'cause you're both hot and rich and whenever i get a feel of mr. wayne's abs, they're the same size as yours—!" and you continue to guess his children's identities all correctly with a quip of how hot they are or how you wish one you were fit and toned enough to have honkers as big as them...

... that night, you're spending it in the batcave with bruce and his children trying their damn best to brainwash you into keeping their identities a secret, to which you reply with a nod and an airheaded smile. but then the moment they remove you from the straps constricting you in a comfy bed, you'll be running off to alfred, ranting about how you can't believe that you guessed their personas right and if he knew it all along too...

huh, guess that's what makes you all the more charming.

a/n: please do comment or send in asks if you're interested in this as much as i am... i wrote this in quick succession and altho i am planning to make this series a shitpost one or a lighthearted romcom one, i rlly want to amp the yandere-ness hehe. it was fun writing this albeit it being written in about 10 minutes or less. ignore the header ill change it soon 🫦

[lovelytsunoda]

F1 DRIVERS AS CHARACTERS FROM MAGIC MIKE

aka the best shitpost that has ever shitposted from lovelytsunoda on tumblr

JENSON BUTTON as DALLAS

He’s been around the block a few times. The seasoned veteran that holds our group together. Semi-retired, Jenson is now the touring MC and the owner of the club where our favourite boys perform. He’s still got it though, and that’s evident by the women that hang off him like shirtless white dudes are going out of style and they’re desperate to grab the last one. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and just how to please a woman. Looks incredible in a cowboy hat.

LEWIS HAMILTON as MIKE

He's got dreams, visions of a life where he can put his male stripper days behind him. Despite himself, he takes a new young talent under his wing, while he prepares to leave and create a humble new life for himself. Ladies everywhere know his name, and he's always the title performer. The other dancers are jealous of his street cred and wish they could all be him. There will never be another Lewis.

LANDO NORRIS as ADAM

He’s young, he’s eager and he’s attracted by the idea of swimming dollar bills and all the chicks he could possibly want. Lando Norris is green in the gills and needs someone to take him under their wing. Enter Lewis Hamilton. Lewis teaches the kid everything he knows, and eventually The Kid becomes a bigger star than he is.

CARLOS SAINZ JR. as BIG DICK RICHIE

Do I really need to explain this one? Ladies man with two sides: romantic and scandalous. Insecure about the size of his package, as it tends to scare the ladies away. Lover of MILFs. The ideas man of the group, tired of doing the same routines over and over again. No fashion sense at all. when he finally gets laid, you know damn well everybody is going to hear about it (and it might be with a middle aged mom).

CHARLES LECLERC as TITO

He's like a hyperactive puppy with a heart of gold. Brings a certain kind of swagger to the stage, but is easily distracted offstage. Has tried (and failed) to create different products and startups, but thinks whatever hairbrained idea he has come up with next is the one. Wants to go on Shark Tank. I love him your honour.

FERNANDO ALONSO as TARZAN

He's been in the game longer than some of the younger dancers have been alive. Nobody is sure why, but the ladies love him. A sweet and gentle soul who would do anything to go back in time and settle down with the one who got away, Fernando has more depth than expected.

OSCAR PIASTRI as KEN

Thinks they should 'stop giving women what men think they want' and start 'asking women what they want'. Certified sweetheart, the ladies love him. Will give you a lap dance while serenading you with love songs that stopped being popular in 1986. The baby of the group, sometimes it takes a few tries to be taken seriously. And did I mention women love him?

VALTTERI BOTTAS as TOBIAS

He may not be a good stripper, but he's the number one supporter (and the driver, and the DJ). When Jenson fucks off to Monaco, it's Valtteri who takes over as MC. Will totally win an impromptu drag race because he is just that bitch.

YUKI TSUNODA as ANDRE (magic mike xxl)

Certified sweetheart. Will put on his little fedora and suit jacket and make up a song about how wonderful you are. Because sometimes, the shy girls in the audience need a bit of love and attention as well. Even if his music career were to take off, he'd probably still keep stripping because he loves making pretty girls smile.

[pianocat939]

Imagine Fucking Up Your Potions L.

(Kind of a shitpost)

Tw: brief mention of murder. Not much except Chrollo wanting to constantly touch MC

Imagine Chrollo happened to run into a goofy enemy who decided to throw a potion at him. Well, this enemy fucked up and threw the completely wrong potion. That's right a love potion.

But the effects don't show right away, so Chrollo kills the enemy as normal before going off on his way.

MC. MC is just another one of the troupe members. They happen to be the one that Chrollo bumps into first. Right away, Chrollo eyes are a bit more widened, looking slightly more unhinged. To MC, this isn't anything too weird. Just another day of him searching for blood.

When they get back to the base, Chrollo is acting odd.

He's asking where they were, who they might have interacted with, etc. He gets a lot more defensive if MC did happen to talk to someone (other than the troupe). He seems irritated.

Then he randomly stops. He goes back to reading, and everything is as it usually is again.

But you see, that's when the real shit hits.

In a few hours, Chrollo goes from calm to the neediest person ever. He asks MC to sit beside him, he starts to talk a lot more. He rambles on and on about how admirable MC is. He's holding their arm with two hands, tugging them as close as possible.

Of course, the members are weirded the fuck out. In no way does such a intelligent man turn into the human equivalent of a dog. But if they try to separate Chrollo away from MC or distract him from them he gets PISSY.

His whole demeanour goes dark, and it's taking his every will not to murder whoever. His hold on MC gets tighter, more desperate. (If he's provoked further more he will attack). Hence it's a challenge for Pakunoda to go through his memory.

The condition only gets worse as the hours pass by. At the peak of the effects, he'll be sitting on MC's lap, snuggling them. Poor MC has to dodge his kisses as much as possible.

It takes a while, but the members get either Shizuku to get rid of the potion, or wait for the effects to wear off (Max is like 3 days).

When Chrollo is no longer affected, he doesn't remember much. But he enjoyed being able to express his true feelings.

(Nom. Random idea I had. Honestly I'm just making Chrollo's image look so bad lmao)

[cannoli-reader]

The White Tower's Strength Hierarchy is not a Problem

I know, it seems like a hot take that has to be a shitpost. The idea of a person being in charge based solely on a physical attribute beyond their control makes monarchy look like a good idea. But I don't think it's actually what the system is, or the intent behind the strength hierarchy.

Basically, most of us completely miss the point of the Aes Sedai and the White Tower. We keep seeing them as an institution of a particular type, like a military or a government or a religion. But it's not. It's a union. Its purpose is to facilitate channelers, like a union's job is to advocate for, and protect, workers. And the part of a worker's life and attention dedicated to his union, or even his job, is only a part of what makes him who he is. Yeah, it influences a lot, like his status in life, where he lives, who his friends are, and so on, but at the end of the day, you work to live, and no matter how staunch your membership in the Local #whatever, you're going to be more worried about getting your work done and going home to your family, your interests and your hobbies.

The Aes Sedai are not soldiers in an army, or bureaucrats in a government, or clergy in a religion. They are not even soldiers, security forces, scholars, philosophers, doctors, diplomates and activists, depending on their Ajah. They are heroes. Protagonists, each of an adventure story. Each one is a powerful person who has an agenda they want to see done for their own advantage or the benefit of others, or just because they want to. The Tower and their Ajahs are just things they sign up for to get that done. Yes, the Tower engages in geopolitical shenanigans, but that has as much to do with what each sister does, day-to-day, as a country's foreign policy does to everyone who is not abroad, near the border or on the internet at the moment.

Basically, every given sister's job at any given time is what she thinks it is. Some of them need or want to be told what to do, so they pick "serve the Tower" and hang around to be given assignments. Others lock the door to their study and yell their cultural equivalent of "fuck off" when someone tries to assign them duties, or just head out into the world to do what they want. And that's cool with the Tower, however annoying a particular Tower authority figure or faction thereof might find it at the time. Because that is what the Tower is for, to make it possible for them to do that stuff. That is the essence of empowerment, and that is the Tower's purpose. They train you to channel, give you an excellent education, train you how to push around deal with people, pound into your head the importance of making a good impression and set you up with unlimited funds, and sit back to see what you do with it.

The problem is, people are going to people, and eventually, each sister will realize that the biggest obstacles to doing what she wants are her fellow sisters. The point of the White Tower is to govern those inevitable clashes, and sort things out, not to achieve some platonic ideal solution, but to minimize the drama and not let the world take advantage of the conflict or distraction. If Aes Sedai are too busy butting heads with one another, some damn fool male might start improving international cooperation and establishing schools that gather a critical mass of scholars and technicians to jump-start a technological revolution might screw everything up.

But that means, there needs to be a rule for who wins, and who gets her way. From the Tower's perspective, it does not matter who wins, so long as there is no fighting over it. The Tower is basically a parent, and every single woman with a Great Serpent ring (or, honestly, the ability to touch saidar), including the Amyrlin, are the kids. As a great comedian whom we should probably be grateful never had access to actual forkroot would say, "Parents don't care about justice, they just want peace and quiet."

From that perspective, the strength hierarchy is an excellent rule. There is no way to game the system, you can't legislate to change it. And like Tic-tac-toe (and Global Thermonuclear War) the only way to win is not to play. Don't like the idea of a woman giving you orders just because she was born with higher innate strength than you? Don't get involved with her! That's all there is to it.

And we see there are many, many ways to get around the strength hierarchy. All you really need is to not require every single person on the planet to give way to you. The Hall and Amyrlin had an plan for Moiraine's career and the authority to make it happen. That's why Moiraine begins the series on the Sun Throne. Oh, wait. No. How did that happen?

Because she is an Aes Sedai with all the power and resources her White Tower training gave her, and the self-awareness to say "Nope," and skip out to do what she wanted/thought was more important. She ran into Cadsuane, too, who also had ideas about what she should do. Didn't take, either.

The main place in the story where it seems like the strength hierarchy messes things up is with the rebel embassy to Rand in Caemlyn, where Kiruna and Bera march in and take over the embassy and head off to comeuppance at Dumai's Wells. You know whose fault that was? Not the woman who first proposed strength as a criterion for situational authority, but Merana. Because she let their strength, or Verin's experience before that, matter. And that was mostly because Merana didn't really believe in what she was doing. She knows her authority does not really come from the White Tower, only a pack of cranks in a village. She is there to serve the agenda of the Salidar rebel movement, and deep down inside, she knows they are there as supplicants to Rand, trying to get him on Team Salidar. She is not there trying to save the world through negotiations, she is just working for a petty factional grudge. So on one level, she knows she has no right to assert her Hall-granted authority, and on another level, she isn't certain that Verin or Kiruna & Bera don't have a better idea of what the best interests of Salidar actually are.

Another major loophole we see in the strength system is cooperation between sisters. Delana, when she is thinking solely as a conventional sister, before she is refocused on her Black duties, notes how Siuan once protected her in their friendship and now she has to be the one protecting her. It's not Delana mistaking their respective strengths for competence to protect one another, it's Delana acknowledging the strength system, and meaning that where Siuan once prevented women between her & Delana in strength from bossing around her Gray friend, now Delana is going to be protecting Siuan from being bossed around by women weaker than Delana. We see this in action with Cadsuane and Daigian & Kumira. Cadsuane respects their mental abilities and judgment, and from their perspective, what more do they need? Rather than claw their up through a meritocracy and securing their position based on some esoteric algorithm weighing the value of their specialties, or pushing their ideas through a review and assessment procedure, all they have to do is convince Cadsuane. And then Cadsuane will see to the implementation of their ideas, or prevent other sisters from interfering with them on the basis of strength.

For a more equitable version of such an arrangement, we have the relationship between Nynaeve & Elayne. There are no two Aes Sedai with a PoV in the series with as much respect and trust for one another as these two have. And we see a few interesting examples of how they work with the strength dynamic in WH.

The first is when the issue of the damane captives who want to have the leash removed is broached to them. Elayne has an opinion on the matter, but she lets Nynaeve make the call because she is the strongest women around. But Elayne is willing to stare down Birgitte, a hero of the Horn, over the civil rights of a man they are certain is a murderer. Is she really going to let Nynaeve keep damane enslaved? Nope. She is letting Nynaeve make the call, letting the system stand, because of her absolute trust that Nynaeve will make the right call. She has been working closely with Nynaeve for over a year now, and most importantly, she saw how Nynaeve handled a related situation in the disposition of the two sul'dam they had captured. If ANYone was going to know that Nynaeve was going to get it right, it would be Elayne. And no, Lan is not telling her what to do, he is speaking to the world at large, he is offering his own opinions based on being in a very similar position, and that's why his own congratulations of Nynaeve for her decision affects her so much. And I think the Kinswomen were feeling her out with the question, because they are worried about ending up in a similar position as the damane, vis a vis the Aes Sedai. Their own agreement with, and pleasure over, Nynaeve's choice speaks to their feelings on discovering that the White Tower (embodied in that moment by Nynaeve) has the right values, and they can trust it to take them in again, without abuse. So what is the point regarding the strength hierarchy, if everyone involved was in agreement on this issue? By referencing the hierarchy, they are not just a bunch of women who happen to have the same opinion, they have made policy, by following institutional procedure, and that gives their agreed-upon course of action weight and it strengthens the connection between sisters, Kin and ex-damane.

The next example is when, after Elayne's near-assassination incident, Nynaeve starts lecturing her and Elayne tells her that she does not want to disobey her, so don't try to use her authority. She's not dismissing Nynaeve's authority, she is respecting it, but also saying that she thinks this is more important. And Nynaeve realizes this, and does not flex on her. Because with reasonable people, self-evident situations like this weigh more that artificially imposed definitions.

And finally, in their last shared moments on-page in Jordan's lifetime, Elayne realizes that Nynaeve is up to shenanigans, noting that it has to be something really out of whack if she's hiding her plans, instead of flexing her strength position. Which incidentally speaks to Elayne's trust that Nynaeve would not abuse her authority, and also the point that she does trust Nynaeve, regardless of how crazy her current scheme is. Or at least, she has a guy to bond and bone and so she'll let Nynaeve do what she thinks she needs to do. Later on, when Rand indicates he sees through her own façade, and knows she has something she is trying to hide from Nynaeve, if not the bond-and-bone specifics, Elayne has a moment of chagrin, because if this guy whose experience of her is basically three days of dating saw through her subterfuge, her partner in crime comrade in arms of far longer standing should have, too. And the answer to why Nynaeve did not interfere is the same as why Elayne picked bond-and-bone over solving Nynaeve's thing: they trust each other.

If you have trust, you don't need to worry about who is ranked higher, and the system cannot stop you from ignoring it and building that trust with other people. And by being so clearly unfair and onerous the system is all but demanding that you reach out to your sisters, and build trust between yourselves, so that you don't have to be constrained by the idiocy of who was born with greater strength in the Power.

And if you can't build trust, stay out of one another's way. Either way, it keeps the White Tower from falling apart and Aes Sedai from internecine conflict.

In the end, it was not the strength system that failed the White Tower, but the formal hierarchy, with its elected leadership and ostensible selection of authority positions by merit, of which the Blue leadership boasts in New Spring.

And for all that the Wise Ones are hailed as a better system using superior criteria (though my own issue with that one is 'who decides who fits those criteria best?' and we see through Perrin's eyes on the conflict between Amys & Sorilea in LoC, it's not always so simple), as an institution, the Wise Ones lied to their people for 3,000 years, made them vulnerable to Couladin's pandering demagoguery, and failed to contain Sevanna's lateral thinking. When it comes to practical results, the Wise Ones are not noticeably more successful than the Tower.

[takeariskao3]

status update (?)

it's 2024, my real life is a bit of a mess (pending job change & cross country move), and i need a plan. i keep getting this urge to streamline, instead of bouncing around between fics like a goldfish with no attention span, so i'm going to lean into that and hope to god we get some results.

this is in terms of actively writing and posting. guaranteed i will still be daydreaming and plotting for all fics, but i still want to share some expectations with you all so we are on the same page and so i can hold my self accountable to my own imaginary deadlines.

at this point in time, i am going to post and complete SPRING FEVER first. it is the easiest and quickest to finish (pun intended) by far. and the only reason i haven't done it, is because i'm convinced the majority of you want other updates first. but i need to get it out of my head and off my plate.

after spring fever is completed... give me a few weeks? then THE PATH FROM YOU takes the drivers' seat. we are so close to the climax and conclusion, that it *should* go pretty quick and fast-paced from here. I don't have a timeline for completion but my goal is to post one chapter a month once we get to that point.

here is where i'm going to disappoint some of you. ALREADY GONE is going on hiatus. at least until the path from you is finished. this fic started as a side project, a distraction (read: shitpost), and now I have to rethink some things and potentially even dedicate myself to some mild rewrites. there is just a lot I want to do with it now, that i didn't in the beginning, and i want to be able to dedicate my full headspace to it. because the emotions and conclusion could be so good, but only if i give it time.

for hannah 2.0 and val: MEMORIES FEEL LIKE WEAPONS will get it's day in the sun. i've been taking notes on it for over a year, and i definitely need to work through it and finish it before i even attempt a tpfy sequel. there is so much i want to showcase in this fic outside of ginny's journey, but like with already gone, i need the time and headspace to do it. i will also, almost definitely, rewrite and repost chapter 2 at some point. i have more groundwork i need to lay with a certain slytherin. but that's a discussion for another day.

if this is in anyway a let down for you, i'm sorry. but this is the only way i can stay sane during a total life upheaval. thanks for sticking around if you've read this far and still like me. as always, i will post an changes or updates as soon as i figure them out.

love you all,

hannah <3

[alpacahat67]

A Very Detailed Analysis Explaining Why Asrian is Mid

Yes, I've made a shitpost summing up my thoughts on the topic before. However, I regularly get into bi-weekly complaint sessions about this terrible, horrible ship.

I am willing to be burnt at the stake if it means I will be a martyr against Dorian... (I'm joking. This is Tumblr. It's not that serious.)

Under the cut is a lot of words! Be prepared

By the way all of this is Dorian's fault GIVE ME MODERN ARCANA I WILL REWRITE IT

I want to preface this by saying my opinions on the ship come off as very mixed? At least in my head. My problem is obviously more with the fandom than how it's portrayed in the actual game, as you will see. Unfortunately, it's just what happens in fandom. Asra x Julian fits the perfect mold for a potentially popular ship. Two masc-presenting people with a tragic story, yeah cool.

I don't care about people making art or writing about them. I actually think Asra and Julian have an interesting dynamic and I enjoy a lot of their in-game interactions. Here's the thing, and my thesis statement for this post, most of the fanworks surrounding these two that I see in the wild are using the dynamic for the wrong reasons! Furthermore, for Asrian to work out and genuinely last a while, you have to mischaracterize one or both of the characters.

I think that this stems from a misunderstanding of the characters and the circumstances under which their situationship (they didn't have a relationship, I'll get into that soon) sparked. Dorian's pushing of content including the two in a romantic or suggestive context does not help matters.

I think a good example of this was under the original shitpost I made about the topic. I won't put this user on blast because I don't recall their URL, and if you find it do not be mean to them. I had called Asrian one-sided. I do sort of agree now, Asra x Julian is not one-sided. However, one party sure as hell does not reciprocate the feelings as much as the other party does! Here's the thing, Asra and Julian's relationship was born from grief for the death of the apprentice on both sides. However you want to interpret Julian's relationship with the apprentice, it's clear that he had some interest in Asra following their death. But we can see very, very clearly in literally every scene involving Asra speaking to or about Julian, Asra didn't feel the same. Asra loved the apprentice through and through. Asra gave the apprentice half his heart for fuck's sake!

I don't want to say Asra was using Julian, or vice versa. But the other was a distraction from everything going on in their lives, from the apprentice's death to the plague. Hence, situationship. Although I do think there was romantic intention on Julian's end, chances are it fizzled out during the three-year interlude.

It's a very tragic dynamic and I do enjoy it! They drive me INSANE! It's just... a lot of people willfully ignore that. A lot of people ignore that they both have problems they haven't addressed that more than just some kisses will solve, both internally and with one another. And when you ignore that...

...You mischaracterize them. Haha, like my segue? Unfortunately, the best ending for those two is in Muriel's route. Which, as far as we know, the two didn't... ever seriously sit down and have a talk. Which is what they need to do. In order for those two to work out, they need to have a serious, long talk about where they went wrong in the past and what they can do to do better.

Do you wanna know something about those two characters? NEITHER OF THEM WOULD BE WILLING TO HAVE THAT DISCUSSION! Furthermore, their personalities in a lot of media I see (cough cough mostly from Dorian) are completely wrong! I love a morally gray character very much, people tend to erase that from Asra and only make him mischievous if not straight-up an asshole, or very cute and loving, as if the point of morally grey isn't a very confusing middle. I mostly see Julian being characterized as pathetic. Yes, he is my pathetic little wet cat sometimes, but he is smart. He's a doctor. Not only that, he was a battlefield medic at what we can only assume is a pretty young age. Julian has issues but he can handle himself.

I have a lot more I can say on the topic. In short, a doomed relationship where they just have to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't the right time or the right person is much more interesting to read than a perfect one where you get your happy ending. I understand the appeal, but if you want to write them being cute and happy together, I implore you to just... make an au. That is not fixing itself. They both need to be medicated.

[feralkwe]

[insert witty greeing here]

i've had a startling number of new follows (thanks, @thefreelanceangel lmao i'm still sweating over here), so hi! i'm b! just b will suffice, thanks! i've been here since around 2008 and i'll probably die on this hellsite. don't bother rolling me out the door, i'm where i want to be. if you see someone using feralkwe elsewhere, it's probably me. for handy reference, i am also on ao3 and bsky with this handle.

this is hardly a dedicated blog, but i've been in a ffxiv hole for some time now, and don't see myself surfacing from that any time soon. pretty sure that is why most of you are here now.

i'm a filthy ascian-shipper in my villainfucker era. my wol, kit hareington, has an original primal only tank stance, and that is gonna be the bulk of what you find here. i also spent around 15 years in the dragon age fandom, and am not an 'anders apologist' so much as i am a 'he was right' girlie. i love complex, complicated, difficult characters. my love and/or hatred of them tends to stem from this, and if i have a strong feeling about them, it's probably because i find them well-written. i am not hydaelyn/venat friendly. it's not headcanon. it's not a bit. this is how i have interpreted and view the lore and the canon, and how my wol reacts to the story as i play it. i have an entire 'elidibus and zodiark are saviors actually' ted talk at the ready.

that's my 'gun shots to bring the rent down' paragraph.

i'm not going to give a laundry list of information to remember. you'll have to trust that if i speak about something it is informed by my lived experiences and intersectional identity. the exception is that i am aggressively a turtle island ndn, and kind of angry all the time right now as a result. that said, i'm an open book, my askholebox is always open (no anon tho--seriously shut anon off, your life gets better), and i love to chatter and get to know people!

i do not follow a lot of people back, and am slow to do so when i do. i also sometimes rotate who i do follow depending on what my brain can handle. it's not personal, and i still try to interact with people outside of that. i'm not really a 'mutuals only' kind of person. i am also not afraid to block, and will do so for any variety of reasons. i welcome you to do the same with me if it brings you comfort and makes your tumblr experience better. i love getting asks and being tagged in things! if i don't reply, it's probably because i got busy or distracted and try to keep up with it.

i'm a long-time fic writer, a new gposer, amateur shitposter, and love sharing and getting excited with people about what they create and get joy out of. many of my fics are listed in my pinned post. i am also committed to being the enthusiastic supporter fandom person i want to see in the world. i just need more joy in my life right now.

hardly exhaustive, but here are some tags to block or follow if you are so inclined:

b does life -- what it says on the tin and that's jenga -- my anders-specific tag as i do not and will not post in general dragon age tags of any sort. b plays ffxiv -- also what it says on the tin. kit hareington -- that's my wol. b writes fic -- another 'on the tin' tag. kitlidibus -- this one's newish but if you'd like to avoid seeing my shipping nonsense, there you go. block away. b's gpose shenaniganery -- i'm new to crimes and am flailing around trying not to make body horror with brio. i swear i am gonna make a bloopers folder to make all new gposers feel better.

if you want my attention, just talk to me directly. that's all i want, and what i try to do. i'm imperfect. so are you. i hope we can build from there. we're all playing in sandboxes and making dolls kiss because it helps get through the horrors(tm).

still here? cool! come by and say hi! i'd love to chatter!

[malapertmarquess]

25 questions

Tagged by @thankyouforyourcooperation

1. Why did you choose your url?

Because at the time of choosing it I had recently played the Marquess of Dorset (amongst other characters) in Richard III and I love that ridiculous boy.

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them.

@redpensandplaywriting is where I focus my writing stuff and share posts from my Ghost blog/newsletter of the same name.

@adhdtectives is for stuff about the detective story I'm writing, but I'm not very consistent about posting on it.

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

Since sometime in 2011.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

Nope.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

My new uni bestie talked me into it (as well as into watching Doctor Who and Sherlock, and listening to Cabin Pressure...)

6. Why did you choose your avatar?

I like medieval drawings, and a snat? Perfect.

7. Why did you choose your header?

I also particularly like the medieval meme of fighting snails.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I hopped on the polls train with a D&D themed one when they started getting big, and it travelled quite a ways.

Check yours here

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Technically 20, I think? (I got distracted immediately after counting) A lot of them are no longer active though.

10. How many followers do you have?

79.

11. How many blogs do you follow?

An even hundred, though I don't know how many of them are regularly active.

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

Not one that took off.

13. How often do you use Tumblr each day?

I usually keep it running in the background most of an evening while doing other things.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope.

15. How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

I ignore them.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yeh :)

17. Do you like ask games?

I don't really do them anymore; never got much response when I reblogged them.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?

I think @schmergo is the most famous mutual I have.

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I am married to one!

20. What is the last song you listened to?

I don't remember...

21. What are you currently watching?

The second Lethal Weapon movie (it's a brainless movie night).

22. Sweet/savory/spicy?

Yes, yes, no.

23. What is your current relationship status?

@dragonatthedinnertable.

24. What is your current obsession?

Probably the Anne of Green Gables books...

25. What are nine albums/songs you’ve been listening to lately?

You assume I regularly seek out specific songs and albums.

Tagging: Avron already has, sooooo @dragonatthedinnertable? Anyone else who's interested?

[erasedvoice]

this is mostly me shitposting but i was bored and don’t feel like drawing lmao (also sorry its low quality LMFAO)

template by @ misxtune on tiktok!

explanation and clean copy under the cut vvv (lots of ranting abt characters lol)

clean copy:

explanations:

okay SO im very indecisive (as you can see) but i love looking into characters and so it’s hard to just choose one LMAO

i love both casey and usagi in the way that casey is kind of just this teenager who puts on a hockey mask and happens to meet the turtles, he’s super supportive and has such a loyal and resilient character that i just appreciate him lol

usagi is always the samurai that is very dedicated to honor and i honestly just find his character so interesting, especially in 2003

IDW bebop and rocksteady. i love how these two, in this iteration, are the villains that tend to goof off and make jokes but stay focused on their mission — see Attack On Technodrome #125-130 — and are powerful villains despite their jokes and fooling around

attack on technodrome is also one of my favorite arcs because it shows the careful planning of the turtles and the sacrifices they make for each other, how far theyre willing to go shows their bonds are

SAINW. there isnt enough that i can say about this episode — how much is showcased that, quite literally, when one falls, they all fall. especially when its the mediator of a group and a very loved family member, the four of them are four, and always will be.

even in the last ronin, mikey showed his exhaustion for war and how when mikey was looking at the aftermath, he couldnt get over it and continuously felt guilt over his decision

as for the punk frogs comic, i see that arc as a whole in favor; from the disappeared mutant frog to donatello’s encounter with dr. barlow — it builds up so meticulously and even looks back to recent/past trauma, which ive noticed that few iterations go in detail with.

favorite characters-

mikey- i love his personality in 2003, and i genuinely admire his style of fighting thats unpredictable and confident. he can be distractable and isnt always the most powerful, but hes very adaptable and can goof around while skill taking what hes doing seriously. in IDW, he at first plays mediator, then shifts into a more relaxed but focused personality. he has very strong morals and even steps away from his family for them briefly — although first and foremost, he loves his family and just wants to be together and happy

leo- i love his IDW arcs; especially dark leo, because it shows how even as the leader, it can leave him with making difficult choices despite his strong goal of keeping his family safe first. when he defeats dark leo, he goes through a recovery arc that his family helps him through. as for 2003, leo is the leader that knows how to work with hus family, and even when he makes the wrong choices or keeps things to himself and explodes, he is always family centered and grateful for their care. he has a very interesting character thats honestly explored in various ways through other iterations as well, but its always somehow tied to protecting his family

donatello- okay, so hes my favorite turtle in general, but IDW, 2012, and 2003 have paricularly stuck out to me. in 2012, aside from his crush on April throughout the series, i very much appreciate his character and bonds. the self-hatred he holds for being a mutant i found very interesting — it isnt overtly discussed in 2012, but its mentioned enough that its clear. and while hes not a hothead like raphael, he does have moments of anger, especially in Heart of Evil. this series shows that where hes the science heart of the team, there is a lot of pressure on him during battle because of that. this continues and he even explodes on leo for the pressure. in 2003, hes almost the opposite — a gentle heart, and a mediator between his family. he’s very rarely pressured for his inventions, and willing to help another no matter who they are. despite this, he has his moments of mischief, and a morally grey line that he crosses at times. as for IDW, i love his arcs with dr. barlow and attack on technodrome — the sacrifices he makes for his family, and a sacrifice he almost takes himself as a result. this iteration also touches on his trauma the most, where it mentions the attack on technodrome arc several times and manifests as trauma through the series. this iteration also has him go to an alternate reality that shakes him — see Turtles in Time #1-4. overall, i appreciate donatello’s character in the iterations, showcasing his intellect, passion, and struggles.

raphael- i gotta admit, 1987 raphael has a special place in my heart bc this iteration hes so funny, and so much different than how other iterations act — although 2018 is most similar to his personality in 1987. all iterations of raph speak to me (and 2003 comes to a close second in favorites for his passions and struggles) but ive found 1987 raph to be my first favorite for his one-liners and expressions.

minor notes-

2003 splinter i love for his attention and care for the turtles, hes not overly strict like 2012 or overly humorous like 2018 and 1987, but he does have his moments of humor. 2012 and 1987 i like his sense of humor, and IDW is interesting for his morals that become influenced and, later on, his realization and redemption (kind of?) for his past decisions

and yes, i like tmnt vs batman movie for its humor and animation. i love their character designs, expressions, and attitude (tmnt vs batman mikey is another favorite of mine tbh) with each other and with allies and enemies. i also like the showcase of leo’s struggle as a leader, and his desire to keep his family safe as well as his frustrations when he isnt able to protect them. its very brief, but it speaks out to me in this way

sorry this turned out so long LMAO but i really do love tmnt iterations

i may or may not have a whole google doc of character analysis thats still in progress 💀

[starthesociety]

“STAR is like the lobby just outside your destiny” -Queen Machete

I have likened this community to many things, but this one I feel is the most fitting. And though some of us get flashbacks when we read the word “lobby” and anything STAR related, I am not talking about that one (shout out to the lobby goblins and chat killers, the trauma dumpers, oversharers & spammers) . I am talking about the spiritual one, The existential one, that exists where we stall, we wait, we writhe in anticipation to our highest calling, knowing that just beyond those self-kept 8 of Swords gates, lies the raw intensity of our destiny. Brushed with the stroke that Jupiter brought us here. The Wheel of Fortune expands opportunity, good and bad. Both individual and collective, we shitpost to pass the time. Get lost in trash fires to feel the burn. To distract us from what we know is imminent–our evolution and physical and metaphysical beings. From the responsibility that plagues us spiritually, what we have known since we were kids, that we were meant for something more, that we are special, and that life is going to unfold and show us the way.

I have also compared it to the American Idol auditions waiting room: Some sing, some dance, some link up with those similar to them and vibe. Others are throwing up in the bathroom, and can't handle the nerves. Others pacing back and forth. SOme surrounded by family and friends, filled with joy and anticipation, while there are others, all alone, forlorn, feeling like this is their last shot. There are hotel rooms, and other spaces to occupy, people run off to and fro. Some are protesting outside, and others are watching from home. Either way we are all involved, busy waiting on ourselves.

It is a shadow work play ground or gym (more like a Planet Fitness, rather than a full service), where we can practice self-love and confrontation. We can trauma dump and laugh about our collective and generational suffering. We were brought here for a reason, if only for a szn, to be impacted by one another. By our stories, our energy, our passion, and compassion. It is not perfect, and there is a palpable restlessness, juxtaposed with the bigness of it all. The vastness of the possibilities, the echo of our calling, form our ancestors, from The Divine, from the Collective Unconscious or simply from ourselves.

You do not stay in the lobby forever, unless you work at the venue of course. So there is absolutely no love lost when you move on. We are impacted by who came before because we are nostalgic in nature. 6 of Cups replaying the possibilities and the moments we felt the most, were the most involved, projected the hardest, and escaped the moment in communal form. Experiences will vary, while some are picked, and others feel dejected, there are a myriad of responses and reactions to a place like this. It is with intention that the ball is handed back to you repeatedly, that the onus of your experience is on you. So that when you leave here you don’t lose yourself, lose your faith in the same way you can when you leave the church. Please don't lose your faith in community, in connection, in love, & self-expressive accountability. Take your growth with you. And the connections you make are not contingent on hotel management (though some of you were removed by security, that is just the way it goes when you facilitate an institution like this.)

There is purpose and intent behind this exhibition but it is not without flaws. In years past, our immaturity and naivete blaring like the fool ready to leap, we couldn't have known. And if we did, would we have taken the risk if we knew the potential pain endured by attachments formed via a web of elaborate and coexisting projections. That's what astrology is. That is what life is. That's what we are mirroring here. Sometimes it cycles mimicking the hypomanic while other processes are enduring, we are here together, to pass the time until we are fully called into ourselves. We are gathered here today to agree that this is not solely delusions of grandeur, we really are that individual, this really is that collective, and even if we only meet here in this lobby, and never cross paths again… it was for a reason, if only to read this and to know, that we all know, how profound this really can be.

[terror-of-life]

heres a post where i don't have to shut up about these fics and get the brainrot out of my system.

( @kadomoni if you ever feel like looking at some point, don't take me seriously, just with a grain of salt jfskdhj lmk if youd rather i chill out a bit lmaoooo )

-

the outside reader in me is like: ryou and masato would do well to trade hobbies with each other. karaoke. learn piano or guitar. live reactions to reading a book. watch favorite movies or new movies. learn new hobbies. there are youtube vids for everything! or take care of someone's pets while they're gone. some wholesome fun to distract from their huge backlog of internal struggles.

if i knew anything about omori i'd make a ryou for the "depressed" and "miserable" ones. poor dude.

... actually they'd both have those, huh.

AH YES this one part toward the end (ryou asking if masato was a dothacker) felt vaguely like a hyouka gif.

(skeith vc) Buy my silence for $10,000 a month.

(ryou, trying to find his debit card for irony)

(skeith vc) Nice try, but we share a bank account.

He took in a deep breath, trying to keep his emotions in check. When he was able to form words again, they came out a little smaller than he intended. “If you weren’t there, I might still be in that coma. And, since The World is over now, I might not even be alive right now. You helped save me.” They stood there, eyes locked, the soft breeze blowing between them. 

“I suppose I did.” It was then that it finally dawned on the both of them that there was really no choice in the matter. Their fates really had been inextricably intertwined since they involved themselves with The World. They hadn’t met until two years ago, but somehow, they had been connected by a thread of fate that weaved between years and circumstance, joy and sorrow, growth and pain. It felt especially surreal that they stood in front of one another, both alive and well.  Without the other, they both would most certainly be dead.

(i actually know nothing about hyouka either, just the mental image.)

there's probably more to shitpost but ive already forgotten it RIP i'll have to remember to comment on the other one too

WAIT before i forget.

i saw youd mentioned on 2nd one that youd started it as a oneshot collection? if you ever feel up to those, i'm sure a separate collection would work too? i know i'd rly RLY love to read more but i don't like pressuring people so like. ;o;

[ra-meat]

random art dump??

I need to put more effort into organizing my computer because its a mess and all of this was a pain to find past all the weird shit I have

[sysig]

Various DQIX doodles