#i genuinely dont understand tags
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im a little late but i want to do some of these anyway so im going to do some past ones here if you don't mind :) (days 1-5)
1 April:
The typical introduction question! Tell us something about yourself. If you can't think of anything, try these: What do you enjoy to do in your free time? What music or series/show do you like? Are you happy with your current living situation/the people you live with? What's one of your favourite foods?
my name is equinox! i like to play pokemon, write stories and draw :D
i LOVE alice in borderland at the moment, i also like those crappy dating shows like too hot to handle lmao
éclairs are one of the best things ive ever eaten and i think i could eat rice all day i love it so much
i do tend to exaggerate things a lot lol, maybe it's something i picked up from people around me or maybe ive just always enjoyed it i don't really know, i'll try and mark it when i do with '[exaggeration]' :)
2 April:
When were you diagnosed and when did you know that you're autistic? If you're self-diagnosed, when did you first suspect that you're autistic and when were you sure?
currently i am in the process of being diagnosed, with an assessment having been done in school (age 16) where i scored very highly, idk what that is but the staff there said it was almost as good as a diagnosis. we started all the referrals and everything when i was about 14. i have a distinct memory of talking with my mum once when i was like 11 and she said "oh yeah we've always thought you were autistic" but she doesn't seem to remember this lol
3 April:
How good or bad is your memory for things people say? For example verbal instructions. If you're deaf: Can you lip read? Do you think your autism influences your ability to lip read?
ajshakdhsk pretty bad- i have really bad auditory memory, i usually need to see something written down to remember it unless i focus really hard and repeat it in my head. this is one reason i use subtitles when watching things lol
4 April:
Were/are you in special education? Regular school? Home schooled? A private school? Did it change over time? Did/do you like it?
i was homeschooled for most of primary school (roughly ages 2-11), mostly because of my poor physical health (i have arthritis and uveitis with glaucoma, arthritis is in remission now though yay :D ). but i was in regular public school for the entirety of high school, which was quite simply awful. i really wish i could have been in some sort of special ed school or even part of the special ed group there but people didn't notice because of my grades. i had shutdowns every day and couldn't focus half the time in lessons bc of people talking, i couldn't talk most of the time, and that made the existing bullying much worse. but i mean, i survived!
5 April:
Did/do you have accommodations at school/IEP? If not, do you think it would help/have helped you?
short answer: im not sure, but not really
i was allowed earplugs but honestly, i think anyone couldve put some in in teachers wouldn't care, i was also able to use a whiteboard to communicate, but again, really anyone could if they needed or wanted to (and half the teachers weren't aware so they'd move on without seeing what i wrote). so those made my time easier but im not sure if they count as accommodations or not, i was ultimately treated the same as every other student and any leeway i did have was because of my good grades, not because i was struggling (which is like really messed up??)
i don't think im aware enough of the support my school could have offered to say whether or not it would've helped but i definitely needed something. actually, i do think it would've helped; they had a support staff (im not sure what their title is sorry) and i feel that definitely would have helped some of my problems there
#heh rambling sorry#i like to talk about myself a lot lol#equinox rambles#30daysofautismacceptance#2023#actually autistic#i genuinely dont understand tags#im scared to post this lol i never talk about this sort of thing
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green haired guy that has haunted my character types for 10+ years
#roronoa zoro#one piece#opfanart#ive spent a good 2/3 of my artist life trying to draw him in a way i like.... i'm inching to it slowly bit by bit as i improve#which is truly One of my greatest joys as an artist - learning to draw better so i can draw my faves better#zoro is genuinely my favorite fictional character everrrrrrr... i think.... i love him so much but i have long since ran out of words to#Describe why. and i dont think any other character has come close tbh -- EXCEPT FOR WOLFWOOD!!!!! god. WW!!!!!!!!#which is crazy. but ww is very special. very dear. zoro and ww are very different... someone more similar to ww would be sanji and robin#but there's also smth about them that are so Similar. i sound like an insane person in these tags and clearly im bias BUT I SWEAR!!!#it might just be the loyalty aspect - incredibly strong traits in both of them.... also nightow drew wolfwood in a haramaki once......#connecting the most minor dots over nothing - but any ww + zoro lovers out there - maybe u understand what i mean.
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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the recursive nature of fractals typically means it's bound to get crowded when you're the pattern
#animator vs animation#animation vs education#animation vs geometry#ava the second coming#ava tsc#avm the second coming#avm tsc#avm orange#ava orange#why do you have so many names little guy!!#besides that though. clearly i have a favorite concept in geometry. even if i dont understand much about it#fractals are genuinely so cool though#the whole video was so beautiful and fun and ohhhh second coming we're really in it now#love love LOVE the whole video#sprout art#I FORGOT TO TAG THIS INTO MY ART TAG... anyway...
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More pages under the cut, it just got a little long!
So if Mira doesn't have her big talk in the last run and neither does Isa, what if, just hear me out- they talked to each other.
Part 2!
#in stars and time#isat#mirabelle isat#isat mirabelle#isabeau isat#isat isabeau#i really didnt think id get this far#i wanted to write this scene but i was content to just doodle it#and then i was like “but i could practice making comics and i could make it a little crisper-”#and here we are#odile isat#bonnie isat#siffrin isat#isat fanart#genuinely thought id only really draw Loop for this fandom but oh#mirabelle my beloved#aromantic characters >>>>>#also i just feel like Mira would reach out to Isa bc theyve known each other the longest and she KNOWS that Isa#of ALL PPL would be able to understand the change belief and why its important TO change#also backgrounds killed my grandma#mirabeau#<-dont come for me that is my BESTIES tag#friendships are a type of relationship- die mad#mirabelle in stars and time#in stars and time mirabelle#isabeau in stars and time#in stars and time isabeau#mirabelle chevalier#isat spoilers#yellow's art
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Sorry I forgot Hanneman suggested Byleth undress after they show up with a different hair color. And I miss Hanneman. And also while swapping between Houses and Hopes and seeing Hanneman pop up to help in a Hopes paralogue is just devastating since he doesn't ever actually join you at all and I am denied my old man rights.
So I had to draw this. Thank you for understanding.
#fe three houses#byleth#hanneman von essar#i like that Byleth just kinda stares at him and he realizes WHAT HE SAID and the implications and is like#step back uh forget that I said that#like man so zoned in on research he blurts that out and has to backtrack mentally to AH socially bad to say that my bad#if i need to tag this as anything lemme know even though it is a conversation in game basically (minus the marriage)#also if you have never married hanneman i genuinely enjoyed his s support and was VERY surprised and hes just#honestly one of my favorites overall in 3h ?? and im still bummed i cant play as him in thropes like thats just mean#also i think if byleth was like oh well if its awkward to see someone undress randomly#then marriage would solve the awkwardness this is truly the best deduction#which is really funny that i can see it happening with both leths despite my hc of them#with fyleth as bi and myleth as ace i think both would just be like AH cool we can avoid awkwardness by marriage#and hanneman just wants to go lie down in a ditch because he said something like that#and and byleth doesnt even know about religion while working at church school they dont know about school regulations#that wasnt really on their mind to check ok just saying you could tell byleth no to something#and then they just go oh school policies i understand unfortunately#and the person is like no we just meant its frowned upon to do archery practice in the tea garden its not technically illegal just dont??
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hey guys if i see another billdip vs billford poll i might ram my fist through my head <3 in fact can we stop with the comparison altogether lol. CLEARLY theyre the same but also completely different we’ve all elaborated enough on that. idc which one u like they both equally suck because bill is the worst. now lets go back to making whichever one we like better (for some weird unknowable reasons) kiss in our heads and go about our day. PLEASE
#billdip#not tagging the other ones cuz theyre mean to us#but listen i truly dont care. canon not canon WHO CARESSSSS ITS A FUCKING TRIANGLE#’its pedophilia’ please go outside for once in ur life genuinely im worried about u#i think we should worry less about which ship is better and more about what shipping either says about our mental state#im betting 90% of us grew up with a narcissistic parent LMAO#ok enough diagnosing i wont waste my degree here#but seriously excuse my harsh tone this is all in good fun#i like making fun of how absurd this is#tldr we all need therapy and also our favorite ship is based#i am a billdip tho for life theyre my bread and butter and if u dont understand Well. u just werent meant to. but trust me its glorious#i wish u could get it#canon is as real as these characters are. meaning its not
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People who view Wanderer like this fascinate me. Like how was he supposed to. Stay a villain. Completely ignoring how limiting him to being.. 'psychopathic' (not a big fan of using that word in this context) ignores the nuances of his character, how was he meant to continue being an antagonistic force??? We kinda. Crushed any hope that he had abt being able to ascend to godhood. We took the gnosis from him, then gave it to Dottore, who is part of the Fatui- the organization he BETRAYED. Dottore views Scaramouche's attempt to seize godhood as a fun little experiment, but now that he's seen that he failed, Dottore wouldn't be interested in trying again... We backed Scaramouche into a corner, man. He can't do ANYTHING. He can't go back to the Fatui and his literal only goal for the past 400ish years that he was so close to achieving was smashed in front of his face. He can't go back to that previous ambition either.
That's why I don't understand some people's pushback to him.. accepting Nahida's mercy?? And staying with her in Sumeru?? What else was he supposed to do??? And then it's like. Yeah, of course he's gonna internalize some better behavior because yEAH Nahida is a good influence. She stops him from isolating himself and pushes him into participating in things (like in the Darshan event) to allow things in this world to have meaning to him. So he stays. Because.. this undoubtedly makes him feel better. He's so much gentler to people as Wanderer, and that's because he's learning to once again be gentle with himself. Idk, I've always felt that this was a very natural progression...
#i want to go inside these people's brains bc I simply cannot understand#??? it makes me so confused#i hope i dont come off mean#i am. genuinely bewildered#how did they manage to interpret his lore so differently?#or the themes of sumeru and in turn the entirety of teyvat w divinity and such..#wanderer#scaramouche#fig rambling tag#:') i will forever be confused by some ppl's takes on Wanderer
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Can people stop maintagging outright hatred and namecalling
#trafficblr#jimmy solidarity#scott smajor#when I go to a tag I dont want to be called a loser with genuinity and malice#people seem to have such huge problems with “the fandom” and then their solution is to be literally just blatantly mean publicly and vocally#I understand these people are probably 14 because who else thinks that this is okay. but that doesnt make it less of a problem#blabber
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rooted underneath this old machine
the chestnut toils. the chestnut breathes.
#chonny jash#angelo tag#this song means SO MUCH to me you dont understand ToT#absolutely crushes me everytime#eugh#fun angelo fact i was a chemistry major before changing to art history x[#scary stuff i wont lie#what sucks is that i went to community college before university#and graduated with two degrees! one in chemistry to prepare myself for uni!#my friends always tell me that im hording degrees lol#anyways#i have plans with art history but i genuinely love it no matter its reputation#i got straight As last semester after switching! and got on the presidents list!#maybe ill be alright#hello person reading this far >_>#do what you love#youll be fine
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Im really enjoying the Agatha show for now, but wanda maximoff, kate bishop and billy kaplan are my favorite comic book characters of all time and if they treat billy the way they treated wanda in doctor strange 2 and kate in the hawkeye show i will go there and personally assassinate whoever did it
#i really didn't give a fuck about the mcu for a while until this show came out#they better not fuck it up#i did enjoy kate in Hawkeye but like. so much of her character was deleted to make her a comic relief side character#im definitely not a comic accuracy purist#but i hate it when they take all the depth and the best trates out of the characters so they can keep having the cishet white guys shine#and don't get me started on the antisemitism in the mcu lmao#like i understand not mentioning wanda and pietro are jewish bc they don't have magneto there#but they have literally no reason to delete billys judaism and i definitely feel like they're gonna do it#and i bet they choose to not introduce hulkling at all to avoid the gay storyline (aka. the main romance storyline of the young avengers.)#anyway fuck disney🫶🫶🫶#agatha all along#billy kaplan#wanda maximoff#oh and they also absolutely mistreated america to but it doesn't matter to me as much bc i dont like her as much as the others#and also i kinda prefer the og young avengers team/ comic run then the one with america and bucky#anyway#marvel cinematic universe#i feel like at this point its better if they don't introduce magneto at all bc#a. they can never make a better version of him then the ex men movies allredy did#b. theyre gonna be all like “haha no whats auschwitz theres no antisemitism in the mcu”#anyway tag rant is doneeeee#nvm that#would like to stress im genuinely enjoying the show#all the acting is very good#and the main characters and premise are very cool and enjoyable
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Hey if you're a white person (as I am too!) and reading the stuff about End OTW Racism (@end-otw-racism) is making you uncomfortable CONGRATULATIONS THATS THE POINT bipoc have been uncomfortable in fandom for decades and some of yall can't face being uncomfortable for five seconds and still have the gall to have shit like BLM in your descriptions.
Put your money where your mouth is. Be uncomfortable. Actually read what they're talking about and what changes they're proposing instead of jumping right to BuT wHaT aBoUt My DaRk FiC (they want to protect your dark fic and help ensure you're safer from harassment over it!)and ThEy'Re PrO-cEnSoRsHiP (they are explicitly not).
I'm so fucking tired of having my posts and those I reblog on this topic largely ignored on my personal account, but ESPECIALLY I'm furious about how ignored posts on racism in fandom are when I put them on the danmei art sideblogs.
I see racism every single fucking DAY as part of running those accounts. This isn't some nebulous thing happening elsewhere, this is us!
If you don't care, I really need you to take a long hard look in the mirror and ask yourself WHY DONT I CARE?
Because YOU SHOULD FUCKING CARE.
#unforth rambles#end racism in the otw#end otw racism#i was already at my breaking point on this issue a month ago when i started talking more about microaggressions in the mdzs tag#now seeing how impossible it is to get people to give a shit ive moved to fucking FURIOUS#WHY ARENT MORE PEOPLE ANGRY I DONT UNDERSTAND#(i do understand#its racism taking rhe form of complacency and disinterest#from people who have the privilege to ignore it because it makes them uncomfortable and doesnt harm them directly#im honestly gettibg so disgusted#do better white fandom)#im a jewish white woman with biracial kids#it horrifies me to realize that im genuinely not sure if the circles im in would be safe for my half black kids to join#im genuinely not sure i can let my kids join fandom when they get old enough#for fear of what they'll be exposed to here#do yall even realize what a fucking indictment that is?#note this is mostly not aimed at my mutuals#yall are awesome and ilu#but i only have about 75 mutuals#what about the rest of my 1900 followers like wtf guys
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here's that essay i accidently hyped up (sorry) on how fionna & cake did a poor job of concluding betty & simons characters + story in the final 2 episodes. sorry it is so insanely long. i don't know what my deal is. sometimes a show just does such a bad job of handling your favorite characters that you have to write 19k+ words complaining about it, i guess. im linking it as a pdf bc i DO NOT want to have 2 copy & paste this all over to tumblr & i kinda don't think tumblr would be happy with me making a post that long.
#if it sucks uhm. be nice to me pls 👉👈#ik im very snarky & kinda harsh in this but like. i rlly dont usually share my thoughts on media like this much#im ok w hearing rebuttals btw. but also its not likley youll change my mind#im really happy other ppl enjoyed this ending (& also kinda jealous)#but i very definitely. dont like it#not just from a personal standpoint but in that#i just genuinely think the portrayal of simon & betty was done really poorly#things r bolded + theres random section titles that interupt the flow#bc even tho i wrote this much i do genuinely have reading comprehension issues#as in the actual definition of poor reading comprension. due to disability#not the tumblr thing where its for some reason used to mean ' bad at understanding media ' sometimes#oh yea also the font is big bc of this too#im nervou s abt this but too late now ig#fionna and cake spoilers#im not putting it in the tags its 4 the ppl who already know abt it#its emberassing that i wrote all this but i think its worse if i dont share it bc then i just. have it#mmmm..worst part is i dont even cover everything. i have MORE complaints#text
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Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown
#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV#okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now#have been drawing them like its my god damn career#have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone#and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go!#BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL#I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR#*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these#yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had#i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :)#BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART#AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT#and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction'#and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL#i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic#like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening'#i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity'#and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn#if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor#UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them#im trying to be concise but i really cant#because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn#HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS???????????????#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#vettonso#2023 japanese gp#we do a little bit of f1
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WHY ARE PEOPLE PUTTING KEITH IN THE SHIRO TAGS I DONT UNDERSTAND
IF IT DOESNT HAVE SHIRO PHYSICALLY PRESENT WITHIN THE WRITING/ART THEN DONT TAG IT AS TAKASHİ SHIROGANE
#voltron#shiro#takashi shirogane#voltron shiro#this is what I mean by k/ancers putting their shit where it doesn’t belong#I just want to look at SHIRO#if I wanted to see Keith ID GO TO HIS TAG#there is literally a post in there that’s like ‘omg Keith appreciation’ Bro if it’s about Keith just tag Keith why do you need to put EVERY#SINGLE CHARACTER#do I really have to block the Keith tag too people just to look at shiro#it’s genuinely a problem#AND ANOTHER THING ACTUALLY BECAUSE ITS NIT JUST SHIRO#THE ALLURA TAG FULL#THE HUNK TAG FULL#THE PIDGE TAG FULL#LITERALLY EVERY FREAKING CHARACTER HAS THEIR TAGS FULL OF ANYTHING BUT THEM#WHY#I DINT UNDERSTAND#YOU HAVE YOUR OWN TAG THERE IS LITERALLY NO NEED TO TAG EVERY CHARACTER#UNKESS YOU DREW/WROTE THEM ALL INTO THE THING THEN DONT TAG THEM#AND YES THAT INCLUDES A SMALL MENTION BECAUSE THEYRE STILL NIT ACTUUALY PRESENT
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the thing they don't tell you about being raised in a high-demand religion is that everyone who you grew up with at some point will either have a faithbreak or they will continue to stay. and both of those are kind of the hardest thing ever to watch someone you cared about go through.
#.lyr#my closest friend from when we were teenagers just got her mission call.#i was so sure shed make it out. she was always one of the best and most genuinely caring people i knew.#im...crushed. by this. she cared about people more than she cared about rules and i thought shed make it out i thought she already had.#and whatever shes doing is because she really and truly thinks its the right thing#but that doesnt mean it is and that doesnt make it easier#exmo#<- i dont talk religion on here anymore and back when i did i didnt use that tag but like. idk.#added context and kind of hoping that. people who see it from that tag will understand the feeling.
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