#i gave up trying to tame my bangs lol

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

one thing that always made me wonder, especially when i don't have much to occupy myself (like right now lol), is why bang pd didn't let bts have solo activities as a whole prior to 2023, and why he limited solo activities just to the rap line. when i think about it, it would've been so much better for the members to have sparsed, natural solo debuts in-between their promotions as bts, like every other group does. the impression i had during this entire year is how those solo debuts and promotions felt forced and rushed. i wonder if hybe withheld some rap line releases (like jitb, even d-day) for 2023. then, you have members who clearly didn't have nothing to release, but were forced to just to tick the "solo debut" box, like jungkook and taehyung.

sometimes, when i entertain the idea of earlier solo debuts, i wonder if some of the misconceptions armys have always had about jimin wouldn't be erased, i.e when some diet solos and antis helped spread through the fandom that he's not creative or musically inclined or artistic. it makes me even question why some of his collaborations in early bts songs were ommited for so long, like when he said that the original dna melody was trash or literally came up with the melody for bs&t. i don't blame pjms who believe in some hardcore conspiracy theories about hybe/jimin, because it does look like the company had an agenda against him from the beginning. also, it would've helped so much to humble the Real Husbands™️ and tame their egos and their insane solos, because jungkook and taehyung were the ones who benefited the most from this arrangement. they could tease their legendary mixtapes and snippets of their songs as much as they wanted, be labeled as the artistic geniuses and creative artists and never release a single song. it's so funny to me that the "most artistic and creative" members of bts were the ones who didn't even try to release something they wrote/produced for their debuts. and the member deemed the least artistic just dropped a whole self-produced masterpiece.

to me, this whole solo era really made me open my eyes to which members are in bts because they want to be artists and performers and which ones are there just to ride the fame wave.

The "most artistic and creative" members of bts were the ones who didn't even try to release something they wrote/produced for their debuts. and the member deemed the least artistic just dropped a whole self-produced masterpiece.

FUNNY THAT..

I think there was probably a general understanding between them that the time for solo releases would come once they went into hiatus, and that's why they didn't release before. I mean, jitb, dday, the examples you gave. I thought the same about Jungkook and Taehyung, who were allegedly writing music since 2019 for their solo "mixtapes". I thought, maybe they didn't release it two years ago because they knew they'd had their moment to do only that.

It's not a secret why they didn't all get solo debuts before this, and it's just because the group was the focus. The company doubled down on the "ot7" agenda after 2017, when they won that Billboard Social award, because they understood that people liked them as a group, and that's where they'd make the most money. "If it's not broken, don't fix it" kind of thing.

There was an interview where bangpd said that if the members wanted to release solo music, they had to work on it themselves, that they didn't get help from the company. Which -lies, because rapline still got help. I always thought that they were allowed to release solo music because they were able to do it, of course; but also because BTS whole image was created around the premise that the members did their own music. Allowing rapline to release their solo works kept feeding this narrative. Not that it was a fake narrative, but it was basically the core of the BTS lore. And that's how the company itself also helped foster the idea that rapline were so superior because they wrote music.

They eventually did the same with Jungkook. Slowly, but surely. He started talking about releasing his mixtape in 2019, and in 2020 only he got a song stay in BE, still with you, your eyes tell, film out. I don't know if I'm forgetting something else from that year.

Yoongi said he'd wanted to give Jimin his song People, and the company didn't let him. Right after that they said, let's get a Yoongi song and give it to Jungkook. That was stay alive.

What would've been so wrong about Jimin singing in Yoongi's album?

The devil works hard, but hybe worked even harder for Jungkook's 209849 solo debutSSSS.

Everyone in BE had a song... except Jimin, even though he said he had presented three songs for the album. The only thing they ended up choosing from Jimin was the bridge in disease, which was literally the best part of the album by a landslide according to everyone's opinion lmao.

Then Jungkook went and posted the bridge he'd done and got rejected because why let Jimin have a moment for himself, right? Funny that whole attitude carried on onto their solo careers.

About earlier solo careers changing the opinion of the fandom regarding Jimin... maybe? I'm not sure. I don't think it's lack of proof of Jimin's character or anything, it's the narratives the members and company have drilled into the fandom's collective brain on one side, and on the other side there's the fandom's own reluctancy to acknowledge Jimin in a serious manner. I've said before it's almost as if they like having him under their thumb, they need to control him or at least control the way others think about him, hence their constant fighting with pjms only while they don't care about the other members' solo fans.

[benefits1986]

Unlikely Friends: Matthew, Anhedonia & Sangria

When life's highs and lows look and feel the same, what's left of you, really?

I gave Friends so many good tries from then until now; however, I'd choose Big Bang reruns as my white noise anytime. You see, the whole cast looked too polished and that their jokes maybe spot on, but I can't seem to get why they had to look too skinny and too mainstream. This was back in grade school in local TV and up until now. So, let's be clear with that.

Of course, I don't say this out loud as much especially when I have close friends who swear by this series. To each their own. Besides, one of the guys I dated has a complete Friends Lego set and bona fide fan, so, ayun na nga. Hahahahaha.

Anyway, I was moved by the last post of Matthew Perry. I liked him a lot in The Whole Nine Yards which dad and I watched in our generic VCD player several times. Good copy pa! Those good old days. I have been interacting with a good number of Gen X the past years and I must say that this bunch may be having a tougher time than Gen MZ.

As a graphic example, when my ina died, my tita who's a menopausal babe, reached out to me several times. She wanted to understand why she has been feeling unexplainably sad even when she knew that we all fought a good fight for and with my ina. She even asked, is this what depression feels like? Ang gara pala. Ito na ba talaga 'yun or baka nalulungkot lang talaga ako.

I could have dropped bombs everywhere, but, in the name of choosing to be kinder, I took several deep and deeper breaths. While I lost my mom, every experience is unique. In the same plane that our DNA are only ours (for now), death of a loved one is universal and inescapable.

I told her that depression should be clinically diagnosed but there are telltale signs. I asked her to take a break instead of indulging in her busy schedule. I requested that she may reach out to close friends who've undergone the same route for moral support. She can't explain why she knows she is okay but something is off. She has been updating me ever since but I try my best to keep a safe distance.

So, Matthew is a Gen X. Had to look it up because '69 looks like a boomer and Paperback Writer by The Beatles landed no. 1 in Billboards in that year, June 25 to be exact.

What hits home hard is his story about how phenobarbital was given to him to tame his crazy cries. My brother also took these highly addictive drugs to cure his meningitis. I never thought that my brother had a mental situation growing up. All I saw was that he's a special case and he was spoiled to death. LOL. All I felt was that he was my cross to bear and I am but a Christmas elf who slaves of my fat ass all-year round. While I totally understood that he is a special case to infinity and beyond, somehow, I care for him in a unique way. He and I may have a love-hate-hate-love-hate-hate relationship, but I'm keeping my promise mom forced me literally before she breathed her last breath. Hahahahahaha. Shemay.

This book also tackles anhedonia, my TIL. Wow. As in. It has been a term that's been in existence since 1897 from Theodule Ribot. Damn. So, this is what I may be feeling for a long time. Sakto lang lahat. Kaya lahat. Matatawid lahat. However, there are glimmers amidst the triggers.

Truth is, one of the fuck ups of the depressive state is trying not to feel too happy. There's this feeling that being too happy will just bring me back to the rabbit hole once the euphoria dies. 'Yung alam naman ng rational self ko na happiness is but a feeling pero ayoko siyang i-embrace. Sakit. 'Yung masyadong tinatalinuhan ang arguments instead of just riding the waves of emotions and waiting for the other waves to come, because they will come naman. Circle of life baga.

Coming across anhedonia at this time in my life coupled with Gabor Mate, Brene Brown and my so-called slow growth szn, may I be able to choose to be happy, instead of being too RBF. Okay. Fine. Puwede namang RBF pero may emotions na rin, kahit onti. Speaking of not feeling anything, let me share why I love unli sangria. Eto na po. Siguro eto 'yung drink na very nostalgic.

I attended a wedding way back and I had liters of sangria because ansarap. Legit. Dun ko first time sinagad 'yung aking lakas because I don't drink irresponsibly. Hindi ako ganun. But that night, solid na solid. As in nagtanggal na ako ng high heels at naka slippers na lang ako. Hahaha. Buti, mababait kasama ko. Safe space. So ayun na nga. The feeling that unli sangria gave me was to feel high and the flat line as in super sarap ng tulog ko na parang wala na ako sa earth levels is just sooooo precious. As an overthinker, wine pacifies me. Nakakalma ako, in style pa kuno. Hahahahahahah. Saka it keeps me up as well. 'Yung may kick siya talaga as in. Poetic shitballs pa because the wine glass is just too sexy for me. Ewan ko ba. Hindi siya because of soshal or mainstream kasi I like drinking sangria alone best. Nakakarami po tayo like wtf. 'Pag may kasama kasi, social thing siya. May certain social grace kahit ubusan pa rin ng lakas at budget. Plus, ang mahal ng sangria ha! E ang dali lang naman gawain nun. :p And mura pa.

A reminder lang din na don't mix anhedonia and sangria unless gusto ko ng mapunta sa beyond ng infinity real quick. Very timely ito since I'm feeling that I'm authentically healing bit by bit na after 11 years of being stuck in the rabbit hole. It's still a daily struggle na mala-EDSA meets raining in Manila vibe. It's still a constant choice na hindi birong piliin at maraming back-sliding. It's still a leap of faith. It's still growing in my defunct system that's fortified with my trusted trust issues. LOL. But, things could be better and so could be the world, or the universe, rather.

While hearing his stories, Matthew is now my official unlikely Friend. I can't help but think that he might have this planned all along. Kung baga, his death made a stronger statement in a taboo kahit pa sabihing progressive tayong lahat. Thank you, Matthew for showing us your super flawed life and demise. May it remind us that while drinking and smoking are therapeutic, they don't numb the pain. I've shared this a good number of times, but lemme share it again and again. What's wore than being numb of pain? It's still feeling the pain even when you're numbed by alcohol, drugs, sex and all forms of addiction.

Glad to know my current org has an HMO for mental health. It also makes me feel good that we have 30 wellness leaves and in my team, there's a mental health advocate who happens to be a good friend, too. :) 'Di ba? The universe is finally aligning. Kaya hirap mag-yes sa ibang invites to be honest kahit super tempting. Sana talaga magkaroon ng forever work from anywhere set up. Sana.

I have yet to finish this 5-hour audio book, but, I'd like to write this out here and now.

[forbaes-arc]

a wild & drunk caroline appears to wish you lovely humans a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! 🎆🎊💕

[jacaranda-bloom]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2021

Thank you to all the lovely people who tagged me to do this @zanniscaramouche @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @parmahamlarrie @disgruntledkittenface @kingsofeverything @justalarryblog @larrydoinglaundry @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @allwaswell16 and @larryyouknow. It’s sure been a helluva year!

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 14

2. Word count posted for the year: 450,639

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Love, Ever After (1240 - ABO wins out yet again lol)

Bookmarks: In A Twinkling (441)

Comments: In A Twinkling (1364 - still blown away by this)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): This would have to be a toss-up between Full Moon Dreaming, which was written for the Soulmates Abroad fest, and In A Twinkling, which I wrote independently as an advent fic.

Full Moon Dreaming started as completely different story, on two separate occasions; once for Big Bang last year, which I ditched, and once using a different soulmate prompt, before landing on the story it ended up being. If you read the author's note for this fic, you’ll understand why it was so special to me and I’m proud that I was able to tell this story.

In A Twinkling ahhhhhh my little Christmassy, 10k, meet-awkward, one-shot that briefly shifted to a 25k advent fic, before morphing into the 90k behemoth of an advent fic that it became. This one really came out left-field and knocked me flat on my ass. I never expected people to take to it like they did, nor for it to end up in a single month surpassing the success of every other fic I’ve ever written. But I think the reason I’m most proud of it is because the way the core messages of the story really resonated with people; self-discovery, self-reliance, looking within to find your own happiness, and that while relationships with others are great, it’s the relationship with yourself that is most important.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): Fuck U (Even) Betta - I learned a big lesson this year which is that writing Part 2’s/Sequels is absolutely NOT my thing. I had 3 of them planned for WordPlay and gave up after this one. It was a good process to go through though, because now I know I won’t try it again, but it was a frustrating couple of weeks and I’m not particularly happy with how the story turned out.

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received: I truly don’t think I could single one out, but I was completely overwhelmed in the best possible way with the comments I received on In A Twinkling. The kindness and generosity of people who read this story as it was being posted over December was something I had never expected. From the pages-long essays about character development, to the keyboard-smash all-caps outpourings of emotions, to the heartfelt sharing of personal stories as the story resonated with people, to the validation of the journey of self-discovery the main character went on; I appreciated them all so much. Lots of them made me laugh, many of them made me cry, reading how people were creating their own self-insert characters and subplots was utterly brilliant, and seeing the readers build their own little community and reply to each other's comments was really lovely.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: I had some health issues at the beginning of the year, which really hampered my writing to the point where I thought I might have to drop out of the Big Bang. Thankfully, they abated and I was able to finish it, but yeah, that was really tough.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 100% the epilogue for In A Twinkling. Originally it was just my standard 2k wrap-up; x period of time later, fluff and love, tie up all the loose threads, and add a heaping dose of closure. But then people started reading the fic and really getting involved with the main characters and the side characters too. I realised on around December 23 that the standard 2k wrap wasn’t going to be enough, and that the readers and the story deserved more. So I ditched what I’d written and wrote a 9k epic-logue in 2 days instead. In the chapter [spoiler ahead], I had them waking up in bed on Christmas morning a year into the future, and it was just meant to show how happy and couple-y they were, but then Harry followed Louis into the bathroom and then it kind of got away from me resulting in a marriage proposal in the shower that I never even saw coming. But it somehow felt like it fit perfectly and clearly, by that stage, the characters knew better than I did how they wanted the story to end, so I just rolled with it.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: Gosh. Having written as many words as I have this year, it’s kinda hard to narrow that down. I have favourite pieces from lots of my stories. I love the scene in the bar from Moments where Harry and Louis enact a bit of Ed Sheeran’s Shape Of You. The bushfire scene in Full Moon Dreaming where Louis gets injured. The scene from Man, Deconstructed where Harry’s secondhand embarrassment reaches new heights of mortification. The smut in Wild Hearts Run Free which felt so raw and was a bit of a new take on the concept of heat in an ABO fic. The sexual tension in the car on the way to the lake in my Dirty Dancing AU In The Still Of The Night. The scene in A Hungry Heart when Harry discovers Louis is the guest judge. The bit in Player where Harry has Instagrammed his dick to his 18m followers and Louis turns up utterly frazzled to try and sort out the mess. In The Future Is Now when Louis finally realises that the fortune telling machine has been trying to point him towards Harry the whole time. All the interactions between Louis and his Nan in In A Twinkling as well as the scene where Liam gets Louis to see things from a different perspective. 

But I think my favourite standalone excerpt was actually from The Pirate and The Piper, my Hook/Peter Pan AU (note - Hook is Harry, but he’s under a spell, Smee is Smee, and Minerva is an evil Siren):

Finally, Louis’ gaze lands on Hook. He stands motionless, one arm hanging loosely at his side, his hook at the end, the other cocked at the elbow, hand resting on his sword. His mouth is set in a firm line, eyes glazed over, vacant, his soul in limbo. But Louis knows Harry’s still in there, somewhere, clawing to get out. He just has to find the trigger to break the spell.

Proximity to Louis hadn’t, on its own, been enough to keep the spell at bay for Harry when Minerva was right there, but maybe… maybe there’s a way to increase the effect, even just for a moment. That’s all they need, a few precious seconds. 

He stares at Hook, imploring him with his eyes. Please, Harry, come back to me. But he gets nothing in return. Louis is about to turn away, resigned to his fate in the murky depths of the ocean below, and then he sees it. The fingers on Hook’s hand that are draped over the hilt of his sword move. It’s barely a twitch, but it’s there. Louis’ eyes dart back up to Harry’s face and there he finds the smallest crease between his brows, barely visible, but there nonetheless.

Smee prods him again, puncturing his shirt and pricking his skin. Louis knows it’s now or never. He’s got one last chance to save himself, to save Liam and the Lost Boys, to save Harry.

With all the courage he can muster, and with all the strength he has left in his muscles, he jumps toward Hook, landing sure-footed in front of him. He surges up, pulling him down by his neck and crashes their lips together.

Time seems to stand still as a bolt of electricity fires through his bloodstream, igniting him from within. Static rushes in his ears, loud, powerful. Hook pulls back and gasps, sucking in air like a drowning man finally breaching the surface of the water. Louis searches Hook’s face as his eyes come to life, the blackness replaced with the most beautiful green Louis has ever seen.

“Lou,” he breathes out as a smile spreads across his face.

“Harry,” Louis says on an exhale.

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: Wow. So, this has been a big year for me, but 3 things stand out the most. 1. I finally managed to move from writing exclusively on my phone to writing on my laptop. I had tried so many times before to do this before and had been unsuccessful, but this time I was adamant it had to happen and I’m so much happier for making the change. 2. I started exploring themes more heavily laced with angst and drama, which I feel has started to add a new depth to my stories. 3. I continued to develop the whole ‘show, not tell’ aspect of my writing and worked hard on my dialogue too.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I learned a lot from writing In A Twinkling in terms of pacing and plotting and I’d like to take that forward into my other fics too. Having to write with a very rigid ‘one-chapter = one-day’ structure was a huge challenge, but I really enjoyed it and I feel that it significantly changed how the story came across to the reader. This fic also showed me that I can write outside of fests and people will still read my stories, and that WIPs aren’t to be shied away from, so I’d like to try my hand at that again in 2022.

I also made a few trailer videos for my stories this year which I thoroughly enjoyed, so I’ll be continuing that too and will also look into other software to enhance and streamline the process.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): I was without a beta for around a year, which was super hard. But then I randomly saw a post about someone offering their services, and on May 13, I reached out and the rest, as they say, is history. I’m not sure I can even put into words (which is mildly concerning given the subject of this post) how much of a positive influence having @parmahamlarrie come into my life has been. From dealing with my overuse of ‘says’ in dialogue, to fondly side-eyeing my Aussie sayings, to all the wonderful comments you leave as you read my stories, to falling in love with the characters I create, for being the best cheerleader when I need it the most, for never letting me get away with plot shortcuts, for beta-ing the epic-logue rewrite for In A Twinkling on CHRISTMAS DAY (what!?!). You’re amazing and I appreciate you more than you can ever know.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Oof. Yeah, but very much accidentally. It was absolutely, hands down, Louis’ character in In A Twinkling. I will forever remember the day I sat on my deck, half way through December, and bawled my eyes out as people’s comments began coming in validating the core messages of the story around self-discovery, self-reliance, and finding your own happiness within. Until that point I hadn’t realised I’d essentially written a fairly autobiographical novel, so every new validation that was posted, was a validation of my own life decisions. I sent my wonderful beta a string of garbled messages through my tears to which she replied, with some level of confusion, that she thought I already knew and had done it somewhat intentionally, and then held my hand (virtually) as I proceeded to unravel. It honestly hadn’t occurred to me, so it was definitely a surprising (and quite confronting) day, but altogether amazing.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: I think this year has taught me a lot about how to structure my stories, to get the pacing right, and also to not be afraid to keep writing until the story is told. I used to try and squeeze the plot into the word count I had allocated time for in my schedule, whereas during the second half of this year, I started to just ‘let it flow’. It’s resulted in some fics that were much longer than I had originally intended (In A Twinkling, I’m looking at you), but it’s been wonderfully freeing too. So, I guess I would say to just let the characters take you where they need to go to tell their story and just go along for the ride.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: Definitely my Big Bang, the plot for which is a totally new adventure for me, and also a second advent fic because I enjoyed the interactive process this year with the readers so much.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: @falsegoodnight @crinkle-eyed-boo @juliusschmidt @evilovesyou @absoloutenonsense @lululawrence @beelou @louandhazaf @2tiedships2 and @princelyharry if you’d like to do this and haven’t already.

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s August 2020 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists.

This month has been a rollercoaster for me personally for so many different reasons, but as per usual fic was a wonderful escape and way to recharge for me. I’m so glad to be able to share the fics that helped me get through it all!

As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation for all of the hard work our fandom authors have put into their fics with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

driving down a one way road (to something better) by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed / we_are_the_same (26k, T, Zayn/Louis, Walls Fic Fest, song fic, based on DLIBYH, friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, pining, sharing a bed, basically this fic was filled with so many emotions, but you felt so soothed and loved along with them)

The Stars Look Very Different Today by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (43k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang, space fic, space travel, enemies to friends to lovers, hate to love, friends to lovers, space pirates, age difference, this fic just was the coolest structure and i loved the story so much, i keep smiling thinking about it as I try to figure out how to summarize it here)

I can’t do this alone (sometimes I just need a light) by @beau-soleil-louis / Only_angel_28 (8k, NR, Harry/Louis, Walls Fic Fest, song fic, based on DLIBYH, doctor Harry, tattoo artist Louis, grief, hurt/comfort, like this fic was so sad but so incredibly beautiful and cathartic, i loved all the feelings it gave me)

Raise My Body Back To Life by @fallinglikethis / FallingLikeThis (2k, M, Harry/Louis, Walls Fic Fest, song fic, based on KMM, necromancer Harry, magic, Louis is brought back from the dead, this fic was so cool and unique and i really loved the entire concept)

pink like the paradise found by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface (18k, M, Harry/Louis, Bottom Harry Fic Fest, girl direction, bartender Louis, Psych major Harry, meet cute, flirting, ace Niall, I don’t think I can find the words to express how very much I loved every second of this fic, plus it’s set here in my hometown so, ya know there’s that too)

i must admit i thought i'd like to make you mine by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface (51k, M, Harry/Louis, Big Bang, girl direction, fake relationship, bridesmaid Louis, lawyer Louis, photographer Harry, flirting, strangers to friends to lovers, sharing a bed, accidental cuddling, pining, y’all this is just like every single thing i love about a fake relationship fic, made into girl direction, and i cannot yell about how amazing it is enough)

Follow Your Arrow by @bitter-leaf / bitter_leaf (78k, E, Harry/Louis, Niall/Julia, Zayn/Perrie, Big Bang, High School AU, American AU, best friends, friends to lovers, sexuality crisis, kinda, coming out, angst, working through feelings, figuring life out, multiple POV, all five of the guys are really just about as important as any of the others, it’s beautifully done)

Tease You, Please You by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours (13k, E, Marcel/Louis, Bottom Harry Fic Fest, girl direction, rock star Louis, personal assistant Marcel, flirting, oblivious walnuts, miscommunication, teasing, this fic was just adorable and cute and i loved it haha)

Just a touch of your love by @thegirlontheblackhoodie / thegirlontheblackhoodie (12k, E, Harry/Louis, Bottom Harry Fic Fest, A/B/O, omega Harry, alpha Louis, touch starved Harry, past abuse, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, this fic was just so interesting because every time i thought i had things figured out i learned another piece and it wasn’t what i expected)

I think I'm falling (I'm falling for you) by @beau-soleil-louis / Only_angel_28 (7k, NR, Harry/Louis, punk Louis, disaster gay Louis, meet ugly, based on a tumblr post, flirting, banter, listen this fic is so ridiculous and silly and lighthearted, i just adored it, it was exactly the pick me up i needed after a hard day)

A Road To Something Better by @taggiecb / taggiecb (25k, E, Harry/Louis, Big Bang, writer Louis, mayor Harry, Idaho, hurt/comfort, kinda, friends to lovers, insecure Louis, confident Harry, this fic was such a lovely journey and character study, I love all her fics but this one was another one that struck me as i read it)

Hate to Smoke (Without Me) by @louhazpride / louhazpride (12k, M, Harry/Louis, hate to love, enemies to lovers, neighbors, mutual friends, banter, bets, this fic was so wonderful in the assumptions made and how ridiculously stubborn they both were)

Feels So Right by @jacaranda-bloom / jacaranda_bloom (9k, E, Harry/Louis, Disney Direction Fic Fest, High School Musical AU, Harry as Gabriella, Louis as Troy, meet cute, karaoke, ski resort, New Year’s Eve, flirting, emcee Niall, listen i thought i had the fic pegged and was patting my shoulder in congratulations, but dee pulls a fast one on us and i was cackling when the fic ended, i love it so much)

It Does A Body Good by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours (7k, E, Harry/Louis, Momrry Fic Fest, PTA president Harry, teacher Louis, kink discovery, lactation kink, mom Harry, in case you didn’t get that from the fest it was a part of lol, listen this fic was so great because it was healing, and discovery and soft exploration all in one, it was so fucking hot too)

She's a Milkshake Mademoiselle by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis, Momrry Fic Fest, girl direction, Louis and Harry are a country duo, recently divorced single mom Harry, lactation kink, friends to lovers, sexual exploration, this fic was such a great way of navigating the needs of a new mom who is still trying to get the hang of things, and friendship and everything else, while being super sexy and hot too)

Milk & Honey by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (8k, E, Harry/Louis, Momrry Fic Fest, A/B/O, omega Harry, omega Louis, new single mom of twins Harry, lactation consultant Louis, strangers to friends to lovers, lactation kink, this fic was so effortlessly sexy while still holding so strong to the feel of what it’s like to be a new parent omg it was amazing, plus you get glimpses into later on and get to see Harry growing into his role as a mom, it’s really lovely)

[dearwriterciera]

Not In the Same Way (Spencer Reid x Reader )

a/n: ok so since I stan 5SOS and Spencer I figured I would write a short little story based on their new song Not in the Same Way. This is part of the little writing challenge I put on myself. I’ll link the list so you can see the other parts as well! 

Pairing: y/n x Spencer Reid

Warnings: fighting, breakup, depression, alcoholism, 

Summary: Spencer and Y/N have been getting into arguments a lot recently, and they’ve both been avoiding the inevitable, until Spencer sees a side to Y/N that he had only heard about. 

Words: 1855

a/n: I’ve been really sad recently so I figured I would get my feelings out the only way I know. I’m not going to lie, this one made me so sad to write. I almost cried but i’m also super emotional right now anyways lol i hope you guys enjoy it! 

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Things between you and Spencer had been...rough these past few weeks to say at the least. Every little thing that happens turns into an argument between you two and it was starting to cause you a lot of stress. Just yesterday you guys literally had a fight over dinner, which resulted in you guys eating in two separate rooms, two separate meals, when you guys usually eat together and talk about your days. 

You had to admit all this fighting and things changing is making your usually pretty tame depression go wild. Whenever you got majorly depressed you would drink, a side of you Spencer had never seen. You wanted to keep it that way but sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. 

You were home alone, Spencer was gone on a case so you knew that you’d have days to figure out how to talk about you guy’s last arguement, but, for now it was time for another session of binge drinking. You got up on the counter, pulling the bottle of vodka off the top shelf and set it down beside you. You slid off the counter carefully before grabbing a shot glass and a can of Dr. Pepper as a chaser. Looking down at the items in front of you made you let out a loud sigh. 

“Back to square one.” You mumbled to yourself as you poured vodka into the glass, setting the vodka back down and opening the Dr. Pepper. After very little debating, you threw the shot of vodka back, the burn hitting your throat almost instantly as you swallow the clear liquid, before you take a drink of Dr. Pepper. Setting both the shot glass and the can down, you place both hands on the counter and lean over it a bit. This had become such a familiar thing to you, you didn’t even question it anymore. You just went with it. 

After 5 more shots of the same repeated cycle, you set them down again, but as you stared at the counter all you could think about was the last fight you guys had, right before Spencer left for work. 

 “Hey, Spence, have you seen my phone?” You asked, walking into the living room of you guy’s shared apartment. Walking in you immedately saw he was on your phone, going through it. You didn’t have anything to hide of course, you loved Spencer, but you were hurt, you weren’t going to lie. You walked over to the couch he was sitting on and raised an eyebrow, crossing your arms, “Can I help you find something?” 

Spencer looked up from your phone and instantly became flustered, dropping it onto the floor as he began speaking, “Wait, y/n, I’m sorry!” He practically pleaded. You leaned down and picked up your phone, sliding it into your pocket, 

“Did you find anything you were looking for?” You asked, your voice was not very forgiving, he could tell you were mad..no..furious. You’ve never done anything to make Spencer think he couldn’t trust you, and you would never invade his privacy like that so why he felt the need to invade yours was..beyond words. 

“It’s not what it looks like, babe, I swear.” He defended himself, standing up from the couch and turning towards you.

“Enlighten me then because from where I’m standing, it looks a whole lot like you going through my phone to find something, ANYTHING, that would make you want to leave me.” You said, your voice was filled with anger, you were on the verge of shaking if you were being honest. Spencer’s face was filled with guilt, confusion, and a hint of anger himself. This was common recently so it didn’t phase him. 

“Y/n, that’s literally crazy.. I wasn’t looking for a reason to leave you.” He started his argument, “I was just..curious.” 

“OH! Oh, my bad, you were just curious, my mistake.” You shot back, sarcastically, Spencer frowned,

“You’re being ridiculous.” 

“No, you know what’s ridiculous, you not trusting me to the point you had to go through my phone. Spencer, I have done NOTHING to show you that you cannot trust me. That’s so fucking low. If something is bothering you, you can talk to me, you don’t have to go through my personal stuff.” You rose your voice a little at the end, 

“Can I? Can I really talk to you about anything these days without you starting a fight over it?” He shot back, 

“Me? Spencer, you’re the one who gets angry at me for breathing half the time.” 

You were pulled from your memories as you heard the front door opening. Despite trying to quickly hide everything, you failed. Spencer walked into the kitchen and saw you causing you to freeze and looked at him. 

“Y/N, are you..drunk?” He asked, worried as he walked over to you, helping you put everything in the correct place before walking over to you,

“You weren’t supposed to be home yet.” you slurred your words together but Spencer was usually good at figuring it out. He held onto you as he guided you towards the bedroom. You were okay with it until you remembered what he did to you so you stopped in your tracks, 

“Don’t touch me.” You said, shaking him off you, but you immediately began to wobble and fall, until he grabbed onto you again.

“Let me help you.” He whispered, and you caved and let him take you back to the bedroom. As he got you into bed, he sat on the bed, next to you for a moment, in silence, before he spoke, 

“I had to come back for a file but I’ll be back by the time you wake up, okay?” He talked softly and you nodded, slowly drifting in and out of tiredness. You were completely out before Spencer had even left the bed. 

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Waking up, your head was banging. You don’t remember ever getting into bed, until you look over at the nightstand and there’s a cup of water, medicine, and a note. You smile faintly as you reach over and take the medicine and take a drink of the water to chase the pill. You pick up the note and read it, 

We really need to talk. I’ll be home in the morning. 

Spencer

You knew what was coming. You knew what was waiting for you the moment Spencer got home and you prayed he would get held up on a case and would be home late, but you also knew that would help nothing. You spent the rest of the time, sitting in bed, anxiously scrolling through your phone. Spencer sent you a text when he was on his way home but you didn’t reply. 

Way too soon for your liking, you heard the front door open and you drug yourself out of bed. Slowly and carefully you walked out of the bedroom and you instantly caught Spencer’s look. He looked so tired, so stressed, so drained, and you felt like you were part, if not the whole reason. He motioned for you guys to sit on the couch and you followed, sitting on the couch next to him. Being this close to him gave you a perfect sight of how dark the skin under his eyes actually was like he hadn’t been sleeping. His hair was messier, way messier than normal like he’d been running his fingers through it constantly. 

“Y/N, I know that you’ve felt it too..the  tension between us, the constant yelling and arguing.” He started, and you nodded, you didn’t trust yourself to not cry if you opened your mouth. He continued, “I didn’t know how bad it was affecting you, until last night.” He whispered softly, he turned his gaze down to the ground, “I never wanted to be the reason that you drink again, that was never something I wanted.” 

You reached over and grabbed his hand slowly, for comfort, but he slowly and hesitantly pulled his hand away. You retracted your hand back into your lap, the tears were definitely falling now. 

“Spencer..please.” was all you could manage to get out. 

“Yesterday, when I was going through your phone I wasn’t lying when I said I wasn’t looking for a reason to leave..but I was looking for a reason to stay.” He confessed, looking up at you again. You felt your heart shatter. As he looked at you, even through your blurry vision, you could tell he was on the verge of tears as well. 

“Did..did you find one?” You asked, sniffling and wiping your tears away off your cheek. You knew the answer because if I was what you wanted the answer to be, you wouldn’t be sat here having this talk. 

“No,” Spencer whispered as he began to break down in front of you. You couldn’t help yourself from leaning over and pulling him into a hug. He wasted no time wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close to him. You guys had been each other’s rocks for so long, you didn’t know anything else. 

You guys were like that for well over an hour. Just sitting there, in each other’s arms, crying. Maybe you guys were just putting off the hardest part, but you didn’t care. Finally, you pulled away and Spencer let go as well. You moved back on the cushion of the couch you were originally sat on. You wiped your tear stain cheeks with your hands, before reaching over and wiping his away next. 

“I love you, Spencer, so much. So fucking much.” You started, “and I know you love me just the same amount but, we don’t love each other in the same way.” 

“I know,” His voice was raspy and quiet from crying. 

“You’ve been drinking, I haven’t been sleeping, this isn’t good for us anymore.” He admitted, 

“I know,” You said, your voice barely a whisper. 

“This is goodbye.” 

“I know,” 

Neither of you moved. Neither of you knew what to do. Who was going where, who was supposed to stay in this apartment that you’ve shared all your memories together in? You eventually stood up, 

“I’m going to call my sister,” you said before walking out of the living room back into the bedroom. You didn’t explain anything as you asked her to come pick you up and you packed a bag. Carrying the bag out of the room, you enter the living room again, Spencer is still on the couch, he hadn’t moved an inch. You walked over to the front door, and pulled your keys from your purse, you took the key to the apartment off your keyring and placed it on the table next to the door, 

“Goodbye, Spencer.” You said before opening the door and walking out. As you closed the door behind you, once it was closed fully, that’s when it fully hit you. You were never going to see the love of your life again and god, that was the most soul-crushing thing you’ve ever experienced. 

[starryparkrr]

hi hi <33 can i get a strawberry boba, please? you could say i have a bit of a preference for males. im miya!

im a cancer and infp-t! im a writer, i have a foul mouth, i have a monster energy drink addiction, i smoke, and i sneak out to go skateboarding lots. despite those things im pretty shy, soft, n i love cute stuff and sweets. im really motherly but i like feeling small and protected.

i love anime and kpop, surprisingly love classical music (piano was probably my first love) and i hate conflict and confrontation. i call myself a gremlin a lot, cause im the definition of chaos and i will not be stopped >:0 i love receiving praise, and i love kids!! i want to be a kindergarten teacher.

in case you need a physical description, im tan, dark brown eyes and green and black hair! i have straight bangs and a curly bob im desperately trying to grow out. im curvy, i have tattoos, and i wear glasses (only at home though, i wear contacts out). i typically wear alt clothing, and spend lots of time on my eyeliner lol.

as someone who's held a matchup event before im not sure how much you want- sometimes short ones dont give enough and long ones give way too many details to consider- i just did... wtv this is lol. tysm !!!

(!EVENT CLOSED!)

𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘶𝘱 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 ! 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦 ! 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘧𝘶𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘶 𝘪 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘶𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩...

You and Shinso just instantly click in my opinion. He comes off as the type to skateboard and smoke too so like... I imagine you guys meeting at a skate park at night. You snuck out and he did to bcs he couldn't sleep, like usual. It became a regular thing to meet up at the skate park. Either at night or during the day. Then he initiated the first interaction when offering you an energy drink. We all know that our mans doesn't sleep so you better believe he gets the both of you a daily Monster Energy Drink so you guys can survive through the day. He's an OG and just prefers the original flavor and you guys will sometimes have debates about the better flavor.

Once you guys fully open up and get close he just can't help but love your soft side. Loves how you're so motherly and will definitely make you feel loved and protected. Whenever you go on a rampage he'll calmly be at your side taming you so you don't go crazy. He's like the only one you'll listen to.

He loves to just lay in bed with you and cuddle while yall watch anime. Will wrap his hand around your hips and draw you close to his side I- He loves to also trace your tattoos at like night when he can't sleep just to calm himself down.

Shinso is a little iffy about kids. Like he really wants them and would love to be good with kids, but everyone thinks he's scary so he tries to avoid kids at all cost. However, he's willing to try new things if your by his side.

First time he ever saw you without glasses you were shocked at his arrival. It was out of the blue he just showed up and you had your glasses on and you were all panicking bcs he has never seen you with them on. However, he acted like it was nothing. Literally just strolled in, looked you up and down, and continued on like he had seen you in them a 100 times. When he left that night at the door he gave you a kiss and then right before he left he said, "by the way... I like when you wear your glasses." Sends a wink and walks off like nothing.

So, I imagine Shinso being really nonchalant about the whole dating thing tbh. I can literally see him being the type to not even ask you to be his girlfriend. He just kind of assumes you're in a relationship. You'll both be laying in bed watching a movie and you decided to bring it up, it took A LOT of confidence and motivation since you hate confrontation. You just casually asked what you were to him and he LITERALLY said, "what do you mean? We've been dating for 6 months." 💀

𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘢��𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 3 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬𝘴... 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘺. 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺 ! 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 ! 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘮𝘬 !

[lokispettigerr]

Devil In Disguise Part 3: Loki x Female Reader! She-Devil SMUT (NSFW)

Summary: Loki has a mysterious new partner to work with. He is told to meet her at a small bar outside of town and is surprised in what he discovers and finds himself torn with the deal that he may have to make and the manner in which it is made *wink*.

Word Count: 5891

Warnings: Non-Con

A/N: Part 1 and Part 2 on the MASTERLIST located in my bio. Yeah Thranduil might pop in with another name. He pretty to me lol. ***I will post a one shot next week to take a short break from this fic. 

Taglist: in reblog

The She-Devil being one for surprises and anticipation had asked Loki, in the spirit of the upcoming masquerade, to get ready separately and arrive separately. 

The She-Devil clapped her hands excitedly, “It’ll be such fun, Silvertongue!” “How will not knowing where you are be fun?” Loki asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

“Oh, don’t be a spoilsport. Besides, we have imprinted, I want to see if you know me when you no longer recognize me.” The she devil approached Loki.

She leaned forward, grabbing him behind the neck to draw his ear to her lips “When all you have to identify me is by my voice…” “Or my touch,” she slid her tongue down the side of his neck,  “My lips on yours…” She planted a soft kiss on Loki’s lips, and when she withdrew she sucked on Loki’s bottom lip forcing him to smile. 

“Very well. You have convinced me, Demon Woman.” Loki leaned into her as she pulled away from the kiss. She giggled, pressing her hands against his chest, “It’s what I do best!” “Now, my Prince, if you will be so kind as to get the Hel out, go home and get ready for this evening! I will see you there.” She winked at Loki, the ever present glimmer of mischief in her dazzling eyes. Loki wrapped his long fingers around the delicate bones of her wrist, pulling her with him as he passed through the threshold of the office door, ready to devour her, “Oh, but how I will miss being with you, watching you undress for me here and prance around in the front of the mirror while you get ready.” She quirked an eyebrow, challenging him, “If you had your way you wouldn’t let me dress. We would never make it there. You can undress me after though.” The she-devil gave one final push against his chest, then ran her small hand down his hard abdomen, over his belt buckle to his erect length confined within his pants. She rubbed him there, taking a sharp inhale through her teeth, breathing in his arousal “Now go, before I reconsider and beg you to take me!” Loki chuckled at her, his cock jumping against her soft, needy palm, and stole one last kiss from her lips, before he walked away. “And don’t be late Trickster!” she called out after him, rubbing her lips where his cool kiss still lingered. Her hip rested against the threshold of the door as she smiled in a daze, twirling a lock of her hair. She was smitten like a helkitten. ***

The full moon acted as a glowing beacon for Loki as he approached the side door of “Club Mayhem”. He looked up at it, his already silver complexion being bathed in the radiant glow.

There had been a recent downpour from the hot air mixing with a cool wind and he could smell the fresh fallen rain on the pavement. With ease he strode over a large puddle, his reflection passing through it like the shadow of death or the grim reaper. He had chosen to wear his all black outfit. His she-devil had yet to see him in it and he was looking forward to seeing her reaction.   Loki had even decided to slick back his hair which made him look ever more the predator than usual. Before reaching the side door of the club, he tugged down his black, half-mask to cover his face. It was smooth and resembled that of the terrifying visage of a black panther. He knew his Demon Woman would enjoy it. Once, upon his recollection, the she-devil had told him, while they were wrapped up in one another, naked, after a hard fuck that he looked much like a black panther that lay in wait behind the tall sea of grass--waiting to pounce on some poor lowly creature of prey. He had turned to her, the green satin sheet that had covered the bed falling away to expose his alabaster skin. “How do you mean?” He asked as he propped his head up with his hand. “Well, you just have that ever so hungry look in your eyes.” Her hand trailed up to cup his jaw and her thumb rubbed his cheek. There was a sudden distant look that came into her eyes while she looked at him, “You know, when I was a girl, Daddy, in order to teach me a lesson of obedience threw me into the pit of the helcats. He had starved them for days before, so they would be aggressive and hungry. I put up the fight of my life, just a small girl then. I had more than 5 guards drag me to the entrance of the pit. Finally, my father ordered the gates open and instructed the guards to throw me within.” She had continued stroking his cheek, though her lip was quivering, her voice a satiny hush that wrapped around him and threatened to pull him with her. “Many of the guards had known me since I was a babe in the belly of my mother. They’d raised me, protected me, and taught me as if I was one of their own.” She sniffed, “They knew the wrath of my father was unforgiving and though tears streamed down my cheeks they threw me in with the helcats nonetheless. “Many of them apologized,” she chuckled, deepening her voice to mimic a male guards, “So sorry, my Princess. Forgive me, my Princess.”

“When I was sure Daddy wasn’t coming back for me, I dried up my tears. I had to let go of the sadness and loneliness and fear that I felt. The helcats sensed weakness. Any sign of weakness and they were likely to pounce and make a meal of me.” Her voice had broken while she was telling the story and she had to pause to keep from sobbing. Loki moved to pull her to his chest but she brushed his hand away, “No, please. Let me finish. Well, I-I didn’t last long, Daddy saw to that when he had starved those poor beasts. Mind you, they didn’t take to kindness or affection either. They, like the helhounds were used to separate souls from bodies, ripping and wrenching them from their flesh to be dragged down to the pits of Helheim. I’ll spare you the gorey details, but I did everything I thought I could. I mean I ran, I stood my ground, I played dead. Nothing worked.” The Princess looked down, tears coating her long lashes. Loki had thought they looked more appropriate on a doe than on the strong she-devil. “So what happened then?” Loki asked her in no more than a whisper. “Daddy came along, a torch flame burning from his right hand.” Loki wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I remember very vividly being in the dark with the helcats and seeing a light chasing away the shadows. I remember thinking, my savior had finally come. It didn’t matter at that point I just needed my wounds tended to, professionally, really.” The she-devil laughed to herself. “Daddy didn’t expect to find me in the state I was in. I was badly wounded, bleeding out. Probably would have died within an hour. The wounds were much to bad for me to heal on my own, even with my accelerated healing abilities. The venom that drips from the fangs of the helcats is very potent.” She sat up, in front of Loki, the sheets falling to expose her beautiful body, her breasts, her cloven womanhood, and several, giant silver-colored scars here and there. “Daddy found them surrounding me, licking my wounds, laying next to me to keep my warm. You see, he didn’t expect me to become friends with them, it was something that had never happened. Not once has anyone tamed the wild, ferocious soul of a helcat.” “Until you,” Loki observed. “Until me,” she agreed, “You see, the alpha helcat, a Queen, must have sensed something in me. Her conscious energy prodded my own and saw me for who I am I ‘spose. I dunno, something about me anyway made her make all of them stop tearing my skin to pieces. She fought them to force them to stop.” She looked at Loki a smile rising on her red lips. “Funny, you’ll like this, the helcat Queen, her name was ‘Fidelus’. She was named after my mother. Interestingly, she was born the same day my mother died.” Her eyes twinkled as she left her memories. “Loki,” she whispered his name, “there is just something about you, that reminds me of something in those cats. Wild, catastrophic, ferocious, volatile, yet in some strange harmony with my very being. A beast or a monster to the masses that somehow understood me so completely it saw me for, well, me.” Loki was stunned that night, he didn’t know what to say for what seemed like the first time in his life, instead, he had planted a kiss on her full lips.

And now, here he was on the prowl, hunting for his Demon Woman. He couldn’t wait to see the joy on her face when she saw what he had dressed up as. Loki stood in front of the basement door. It was metal, and when he knocked a loud, metallic bang clamored in his ears. After a moment an intercom system near the doorknob beeped, “Name?” the voice on the other end called out. “Loki Laufeyson,” Loki called out as he leaned close to the intercom system. Another moment passed, “You aren’t on the list, maybe try the club down the block.” Loki blinked. He knew he was at the right club, he had made sure of it… A thought came into his head and he cleared his throat, rolling his eyes as he pressed the button next to the intercom system, “Name?” the voice called out again. “Silvertongue,” Loki sighed. The door locks clicked, in succession. Leave it to her to put his “pet name” on the list. Loki grumbled under his breath as he rushed into the basement entryway. Though no one was around to hear it sounded something like, “Choke her...probably like...though.” *** Loki walked up the basement steps, taking two at a time with ease. He tapped four times, as instructed on the door to the cellar, and it opened slowly. As he exited the cellar he pulled on his black suit and smoothed down his jet, gleaming hair. The club was extravagant. Most of the masquerade decor seemed to be in some sort of paradise scene. There was fog lurking about, trickling across the floor from a machine that blew out billowy smoke that made it look like the whole club was in a cloud. There were white and silver light streamers hanging from the ceiling, snaking down towards the party guest, and there were lights spread throughout the crowd- tall lights that shot up into the cloudy room looking like still search lights. It gave the club an eerie, yet beautiful glow. Loki could feel a hum in the air, a vibration that he had quickly become accustomed to as a signal that his mate was nearby. He had no idea how he would find her. The party-goers were everywhere, clinking glasses filled with golden bubbly drink, laughing boisterously, and swaying to a song. In the crowd, servers darted in and out carrying trays of food, tiny quiches and cakes lined their trays. There were large, wall to floor sheer fabric like curtains hanging from the ceiling and lining the walls of the club. Loki was astounded to find that upon his inspection, the theme of the decor was “heaven”-- because of course Christian myths dominated this Midgardian culture. How peculiar it was to have the Princess of Hel, a She-Devil at that, stalking the crowd for a lost soul to claim and take back to her home realm. Loki chuckled to himself at the irony and began to push through the party-goers on his hunt for the she-devil. She wasn’t one to ever make things easy, and he sensed that she liked the chase--a good game of cat and mouse. Of course, she liked to fool others into thinking she was the mouse, initially, but soon the tables would turn and she would become the predator. She was good at games, at tricks-- just like Loki. She had even once told him, one of the first nights that they were together, that she would rather be the hunter than the prey, every time-- and yet, here she was making herself hard to find. Loki didn’t mind though, if he was being honest with himself, he would admit that he too liked the game of chase.

Loki stopped in the crowd of bodies, he needed to use his senses to find his She-Devil and right now everything was blasting through. He felt as if he was spinning from all of the stimuli. And there, something, over there. He reached out with his thoughts to caress the mind of the one he felt. It was unmistakably her, but there was something else with it, wrapping around it, seemingly mingling with her unspeakably strong energy. Loki turned to search from where he had just come and found her. She had climbed the winding stairs to rest at the top of a balcony overlooking the partygoers. Watching her made Loki feel like he could no longer catch his breath. All his blood rushed loudly within him and his groin filled with the familiar tingling sensation.

She wore the most beautiful dress. The fabric was in a sense sheer and the color of it was an off white. There were red, orange and yellow sequins throughout-- especially covering her bosoms and her womanhood. It made it look likes flames were licking up the fabric of the dress and that his mate was in truth, on fire. When she moved this way and that the flames flickered maddeningly, drawing the attention of the people around her. And when she turned to talk with someone who had approached her from behind he could see that the back of the dress had a long train with the same sequined flames leaping up it-- making it look like as she walked she created some sort of path of destruction that she left in her wake. She created a fire that enraptured the world and ground beneath her feet. Her hair was loose and spiraled down her bare back in an elegant way that much was like the flames of her dress-- at times it seemed to have a life of it’s own-- it was wild in a mysterious way, a long mane of grace. She was temptation in its purest form.  Instead of a mask, she wore a white cloth around her eyes-- lace it appeared to be. Loki wondered why this was, but perhaps, most interesting was that she allowed her own horns to protrude crudely from her terrible, yet magnetic visage. Because everyone was in costume, her horns were not out of the ordinary. Loki again was reminded of the Christian myths he had studied as a young boy and thought about how the devil came to be. He was cast out from heaven, an angel at one time. His name- “The Morning Star”, and now Loki’s mate looked as if she was the devil, she was indeed a star. She was his star that had come crashing down from the multiverse. Though she was horrifying to behold everyone seemed to be drawn around her like a group of wild animals that had stumbled upon a dangerous bonfire that they couldn’t help but be curious about. Wild animals that didn’t know the true destruction the bonfire could easily bring them if they wind blew it out of its healthy confinement. Loki thought how helpful and useful a contained fire could be but how destructive and catastrophic it always had the potential to become. Even the smallest flicker of a candle flame could bring down an entire forest and mortals were helpless to even put an end to it.

A smile came to Loki’s lips as he watched his She-Devil mate, taking in her excellence. However, someone moved in front of her, blocking her from Loki’s view and his lips quickly forsook the smile.

The man who stood before her had long, silvery white hair. He was fair skinned with darker eyebrows and piercing blue eyes. He grabbed her arm to pull her closer to his lips so he could whisper in her ear and Loki watched as she patted the strange man with one arm as she laughed musically at whatever the stranger had just told her. Even Loki was able to admit when a man was fairly attractive and as far as mortals went this man was divine. His nose was sharp, almost cruely so and his chin was pointed with slyness. He seemed rather clever, though not a match for Loki himself. He glowed in the lowlit light of the club as if his skin was giving off some radiant silver aura which was battling or even attempting to court the flaming aura of his own mate.

Something about the man’s actions sent a shock of anger through Loki. The man seemed possessive over Loki’s Demon Woman. They acted very familiar with one another and Loki could sense black jealousy within himself. Though his She-Devil seemed to act fondly towards the man it almost seemed as if there was a hint of urgency or even danger underneath the emotions that she wore. Loki felt that he needed to be by her side immediately in case this odd stranger would decide at any moment to attack her, but Loki knew deep down that his She-Devil could fend off her enemies easily. Yet why was it that she seemed to give off a sense of caution? Was she possibly excited instead of frightened? Or was she perhaps, afraid of how the man made her feel?

Loki stalked forward in hopes to walk between the two. The man was awfully close to his mate and this was something he would not stand for. His She-Devil mate’s mouth dropped when she spotted him, she was speechless. He knew that she instantly recognized what he had dressed as for her. Her face lit up and she flashed a mega-watt smile ecstatic to see her God of Mischief.

“Oh, good! It’s my Silvertongued Prince!” his mate exclaimed excitedly. “I have been so lonesome without you by my side, Gabriel sought me out in this crowd to keep me company.” her arm wrapped around Loki’s and her fingers tightly squeezed his bicep as if indicating some information to him that he was not privy to as of yet.

“Loki, is it?” Gabriel asked holding out his slender, glowing hand for Loki to take. His voice was like muted velvet, full of lies, “Our Princess has told me so much about you.” Loki shuddered at Gabriel’s mention of “Our Princess”. She was Loki’s alone. Loki glanced down at the hand that Gabriel held forth with a taste of disdain on his face, “A pleasure,” he said clipped, pulling his She-Devil closer to him while he towered over her protectively. He looked at the surrounding crowd, showing Gabriel that he had no interest in getting to know him.

It was unusual that the Demon Woman appeared uncomfortable, yet now with the two men before her Loki could tell that she was out of sorts.

“Gabriel!” the She-Devil called out over the crowd and the thumping music, “would you be so kind as to get myself and Loki some of that delicious vodka you introduced me to earlier?” Gabriel replied with a nod, “Of course my dearest, anything for you.” he threw daggers with his eyes at Loki and bent forward to place a kiss on the She-Devil’s cheek possessively. Loki could have called forth his Jotun form, red eyes glowing while he ripped the man limb from limb and tore at his throat with his teeth. Instead, he smiled kindly, nodding as Gabriel left in search of the drinks.  

“Loki…” his She-Devil whispered, “must you act to territorial? I wanted to yell at you both to put your damn swords away!” she hissed. “I don’t like him.” For a moment the She-Devil was speechless, “Ah, well, so what? Did I ask you? Gabriel is the acolyte I mentioned this morning. The one who so helpfully kept tabs on our lost soul. He does it all for me. Must you act like an animal in heat?”

“Yes!” Loki spat. “Ugh! You...Sometimes I just want to push you and knock some sense into you, for Hel’s sake, Loki!”

“I could easily do the same to you this very moment!” Loki’s eyes flashed at her in the dim light of the club, displaying hostility and something else-- a kind of sexual hunger and desperation. “Whatever!” she barked back at Loki, “I don’t want to discuss this now, our soul is nearby.” Loki didn’t want to let this go, but he had a job to do, there was a reason he was here and he could not forsake that. “Where is the one we hunt?”

The She-Devil reached up to grab Loki by the should of his black suit, setting his body up so he could easily spot the lost soul. “There, under the alcove, do you see? He’s talking to someone wearing a muzzle around their mouth.”

“You’re sure?” Loki asked, searching his mate’s face for the answer as she nodded.

“When Gabriel comes back we can chat strategy. Ah, here he is, speak of the Devil.” Gabriel handed them both glasses of vodka, “Try it Loki! It is something exquisite!”

“As are you, Princess,” Gabriel purred as he reached out to rub her bare arm. Loki’s fist clenched in response, *how dare this man be so blatant with his disrespect!*

“Oh Gabriel, Stop!” she laughed, “We have work to do.” “Yes, it would seem that you need to focus your attention on the job at hand.” Loki growled.

“Gabriel,” the Demon Woman interrupted, “Bring the mortal to the suite on the third floor, lure him in some way, you’re good at that. There Loki and myself will wait. Once you arrive with the soul, Loki and I will handle the rest. We will meet you there, alright Gabriel?” “Of course, Princess.” Gabriel said before he made his way towards the soul. “Loki,” the She-Devil addressed him, “come with me.” She reached for his hand and Loki let her lead him to the suite to await their victim. “Loki, because the soul broke a deal with me I have to reforge a new one to make sure they are locked within this one. It cannot be broken. Will you be able to remain calm?”

“I beg your pardon?” Loki asked, “you don’t mean you have to fuck this bargain breaker…” “Loki, you know I do.” she tried to comfort him with a kiss on his lips, but he turned from her. “Remember, it means nothing. I have to make this deal, this is the only way I  can get this soul where it belongs, in the hands of my father.” “And what of me? Why am I even here, it doesn’t seem that I am of much use for you!” Loki growled at her with such force that she flinched, pulling away from him. “No, I need you. I always need you.”

“You do not! You are entirely capable of taking care of yourself!”

She huffed with desperation and frustration, “Are you coming or what?”

Loki followed her, though he was seething with rage, this would be the second time he would see her in the midst of making a deal, but this time it wouldn’t be with him. He didn’t want to watch this. Would Gabriel watch as well? Gabriel!... Loki’s teeth clenched at the thought of Gabriel seeing his mate in all her splendid glory, unclothed, without her glamour before them.

“Please,” she turned to him, before opening the door to the empty suite,  “Behave. We can’t have this going awry.”

“Fine,” Loki mumbled under his breath, full of reluctance.

“Gabriel works quickly, he should be here any second now,” she said, trailing off. “Would you like to take a seat?” “No.” She muttered something under her breath.

Finally, the door rattled, and in barged Gabriel with his lips pressed against the mouth of their prey who mumbled and fumbled at the strings holding Gabriel’s clothing closed. They stumbled into the room, and Gabriel pulled back. “My Princess, here he is.”

The prey looked around, confusedly for a moment-- either from the effect of Gabriel or the situation. When his eyes fell on the Princess of Hel he tried to back away, but Loki was now standing between him and the door with a wicked, frightening grin on his face. The prey turned from Loki, feeling his murderous vibes. “No, no, no,” he whispered turning back to the Princess of Hel, “Please, I’m sorry, I beg of you, I don’t want to die!” He fell to his knees, crawling on the ground towards her.

“You grovel for your life in front of the Princess of Hel?” Gabriel spat disgusted, “And to think I had to kiss you.” He wiped his lips with his fist. “You broke our deal.” The She-Devil spoke in a hushed tone, her voice was sinister yet soothing, “Your soul belongs to me and to my father as well.” She looked down at him, kneeling on the carpet of the suite. “Please, let me go, I swear, I just. Not yet, Princess.” She knelt to his level, pulling his face up to look at her, “You know I can’t,” she crooned, “If it isn’t me it might be the helcats or the helhounds, and we wouldn’t want that. They will be much worse than me. Wouldn't you rather go out feeling pleasure than pain?” She reached up to slip the shoulder straps off her shoulders one at a time, the bodice of the dress fell to expose the brilliant scar covered skin of her bosoms. The prey was speechless, his eyes darted between her breasts covetously. His hand reached out to give them both a good fondle, but she batted them away, “Ah, ah, ah, not until you pledge your soul to me…” Without hesitation he replied, “I pledge my soul to you, I will bargain it to you. Just please, I need to feel you again.” “Very well,” she chuckled, glancing at Loki as she rose to her full height, pulling the prey along with her. Her eyes remained locked with Loki’s as the prey began to plant sloppy, hungry kisses on each breasts. His wet tongue darted out to tickle and pluck at each pink nipple. When her breasts filled his lips he suckled on it, moaning deeply, as if he was trying to get milk to come forth. She giggled, “Gentle now.” Her hand went to the soul's hair to grab at it, and her eyes would drift closed from time to time as the prey’s tongue would glide over her sensitive, erect nipples.

He stopped suckling and licking to look up at her, his neck still craned towards her breasts. “Please, Princess, can I please?” He begged. She nodded in answer and he wrenched the dress from around her curving hips, it fluttered to the floor and she stepped out of it. “Lay down, now,” she ordered and the prey did as she bid.

She set herself upon him then, easily taking his erect, jumping manhood inside of her. When he parted her lips with his length she sighed, contentedly. Her eyes rolled as she felt pleasure of the flesh ignite within her. She looked back towards Loki a sadistic smile on her full lips. Loki’s blood  was boiling and he looked away from her, he didn’t want to watch the scene that was unfolding before him like an unwanted disease of the mind. He knew if he watched her ride this prey animal that the sight would be trapped in his mind, incurable forever.

As he looked away he saw Gabriel sitting in a chair, looking entirely seduced by his mate. Loki had had *enough*! Of course, he would allow her to finish what must be done, he had promised, but he had cleverly chosen his words. He made no mention of behaving or acting civil towards the voyeurist upon the chair. He walked towards him, his feet beating against the ground angrily. His hands reached down to grib Gabriel’s collar and easily lifted him to his feet. “Get out.” he hissed venomously-- a clear warning. “You do not belong here! She does not belong to you! Look at her with this perversity again and I shall pluck the eyes from your face.” Loki dragged Gabriel towards the door, opened it and threw Gabriel without, turning back and slamming the door making the metal threshold shake and leaving Gabriel without a chance to respond.

When Loki turned back towards his She-Devil he saw that she was just finishing up, quick enough, but what mortal could last long with a succubus such as her? She had transformed into her true, monstrous, seductive form and was sucking the blood from the man’s neck when Loki stalked over, to her, pushing her aside. His Jotun form was screaming to be acknowledged and without care he allowed the blue tint to rise on his skin, his eyes glowed feverishly with the fury pumping within his veins.

“Hope you enjoyed it!” he spat, “touching her was the last thing you ever did!” and his hand brought forth a long, dagger made of ice. He slit the prey’s throat with it. “Now,” he turned, his rage overtaking him, “I will deal with you, Demon Woman!” Again, she smiled, but this time with a masochistic edge, she wanted Loki to punish her! “You vile, evil woman!” he growled at her, “you are mine and mine alone, I will destroy that soaking pussy of yours until you plead for mercy, yet I won’t stop! My seed will gush forth into your womb! I want your flat, taught belly to be full of my hot seed! You are mine, I claim you! No one else can have you! All mine!” His teeth clenched together and his muscles trembled with adrenaline, his cock jumped at the thought of pumping all of his cum within her belly.

“Loki, Loki, wait” her hand went forth pressing against his unforgiving abdomen. “It is too late for that, Demon Woman!” Loki was truly savage, he was possessed!

“Stop, please I can--” but before she could finish Loki’s cock pushed through her soaking, wet lips, plunging into the weeping cave of her womanhood. “Ah!” she sighed with both pleasure and pain. He filled her up with ease. “Mine!” he barked back at her as he humped her, his hips sliding his cock between her folds, the head of his dick rammed into her walls, to the end of her. His head fell down as he panted heavily from the adrenaline coursing through his Jotun form and claimed her breasts with his own cool tongue. She hissed against the harsh, unforgiving temperature. “Mine,” he mumbled his mouth full of her nipple and he tested it, biting at it between his sharp teeth causing a deep penetrating sensation to ache through it in an erotic way. The She-Devil’s horns were still upon her brow and when she tried to buck against Loki his hand went up to hold her down by her horns. “Stop, Loki! Please!” she cried out, flinching from the pain he was inflicting upon her soft inner flesh. “Mine!” he rumbled. She moaned as he shoved his long length against her cervix and his hand quickly went to her lips, he held her mouth shut as he whispered in her ear. “I will possess you body and soul, I will tear your walls in two if you do not submit to your Master. This pussy belongs to me! You gush for me and my cock will squirt my seed deep into your belly until you are full of it and ache!” She moaned against his palm, excited and aroused by the thought. Shining droplets of sweat began to bead on her chest and on her forehead. “Oh you like that do you, Y/N?” She fervently nodded her head, her hips bucking and coaxing him to release within her.

“Now I want you to be a good girl and clench those pussy muscles for me,” he whispered against her neck. “--Muhhn” she moaned from beneath the palm of his hand. “That’s a good girl for me,” Loki purred. “Now, clench those walls around me and don’t stop until you cum for me.” The She-Devil began to clench her muscles as Loki’s own muscles rippled. With each thrust his core would tighten, his abdomen becoming more defined, and his glutes tightening.

He drew a sharp inhale of breath when she pulled at his cock tightly, “Oh, Norns, Yes.”

The more her velvet walls pulled and gripped around Loki, the closer he came to the edge of orgasm.

But he wasn’t finished with her yet, he needed her to cum for him. The voluntary clenches she gave him were bliss, but the involuntary clenches that happened when she was having a body convulsing orgasm not only pleased him but also felt like nothing he had ever experienced before.

Loki began to move his hips magnetically, so tribally that the flesh above his cock began to grip and rub her satin soft, swollen-with-arousal, clit. With each thrust she would whimper from the pleasure.

Loki commanded her body as if he was her one, true master. An orgasm rose, brewing deep within her hips and finally the dam broke. The orgasm the She-Devil had, made her head tilt back in complete ecstasy. There was a loud hum in her ears and neurons causing a trail of fire to shoot from her groin to the top of her head.

Like Loki had expected, her walls clenched, harder, faster around him, unable to stop, without consent or control and Loki followed her. His hot cum gushed from the weeping head of his length, and he thrust his hips forward ramming the head of his cock into her cervix. He wanted every last drop to enter her. He was overcome with desire to fill her belly full of his cum and once he was finished squirting his seed in her he grabbed her beneath her shoulders and sat up with her cradled against his chest.

They sat there, her on his lap exhausted and him breathing in her spicy scent. Their own bond and bargain was unbreakable. Together they would be unstoppable.

No one could break them apart. Not Odin, not Gabriel, not a soul in the nine realms. Loki was convinced, yet he still couldn't shake the dream that he had just had. What did it really mean and why did he continue to have such a dream? No matter the reason, he would never let go of his She-Devil mate.  

Gabriel is gorgeous truly. Loki is right about that! 

Thank you all again for being so patient with me and supportive! Please ne so kind as to warm my heart with some exciting feedback and a reblog.   ***If you would like to be on the taglist for this fic or a future fic please send me an ask.  Peace, Loki’s Pet Tiger

[ravenchaitea]

HCW-ICT Update

For anyone who follows me for my fic writing a new chapter of my MuteProtagonist fic will be up tomorrow! In the meantime, preview under the cut. If you are a newbie, you can start reading by clicking right HERE. If you need to catch up on the previous chapter before the update tomorrow, you can do that here.  (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ Thanks for all the support. Also tumblr really really messed the formatting of this up. Maybe I'll fix it someday....... But probably not. Lol  

Ryuji looked around the apartment in approval. He had spent the past week working on it. All the boxes had been unpacked. The furniture was arranged. It finally looked like a place he and Akira could call ‘home’. As an added bonus it had served as something to keep his mind busy. The first few days after the surgery had been quiet. Now that their communication had picked up in frequency again, he was eager to show off his hard work.

Akira would be finishing up his medical tests soon. They had a video chat planned for right after. Ryuji put some finishing touches on their bedroom before settling in the living room to wait. He glanced at his phone to check the time, his chest filled with nervous anticipation. He had just turned his screen off when the display lit back up. Akira’s screen-name appeared and Ryuji felt his heart leap up into his throat.

“Hey!” He greeted. The video took a few seconds to buffer. A side effect of bad hospital wi-fi. Akira’s face went from pixels to a clear image. Ryuji grinned.

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: What’s with that face?

For his part, Akira was smiling too.

“Ain’t nothin’. Jus’ glad to see you, man.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Me too.

And Ryuji did see him. His eyes drank in every detail. Though he was a little pale, Akira looked better than he had for a long time. His eyes were clear and bright and he looked well rested. His smile became more of a smirk when he noticed the rapt attention Ryuji was giving him.

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: See something you like?

“Shut up,” Ryuji replied sheepishly, averting his eyes away from the screen. They didn’t stray for long. “What’re you doing with your hair?”

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Oh that? Lavenza did it.

**Akira reached a hand up to touch the elastic headband at the crown of his head. The material held his bangs back, taming the normally unruly curls. It gave Ryuji an unobstructed view of his bright gray eyes and the long eyelashes that veiled them.

“Don’t take it off. It looks kinda nice.”

“Yeah?” Akira signed, cocking his head to the side.

“I like seein’ your whole face,” Ryuji mumbled in a soft voice, running a nervous hand back through his own hair. He still hadn’t had a chance to deal with his rapidly encroaching roots. “Your hair got so damn long.”

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Do you like it long?

**“C'mon man. Don’t ask me weird things.”

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I want to know. **

“Please?” Akira pressed. His expression was so openly sincere that Ryuji couldn’t bring himself to deny him an answer.

“Fine, okay. Yeah, I like it long. Y'happy?”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: :-)

“Dude. Stop with the smiley faces.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: :D

“Akira, jeeze,” Ryuji shook his head in disbelief but he was smiling in spite of himself.

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Hey ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I just noticed** ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Are you at the apartment?

**“Huh? Oh! Yeah, I finally finished unpackin’. Wanna see?” Ryuji had been hoping Akira would ask. In fact, he had specifically off centered his phone camera in the hope that it would grab the other man’s attention. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I want to see.

**“Alright. I’ll give you the grand tour,” Ryuji limped to the front door and made it his starting point. From the entryway, it was easy to see the entire expanse of the living room. He swept his phone in a large arc in front of his body, giving Akira a panoramic view of the apartment’s main space. They still didn’t have a lot of furniture but in the middle of everything was a large black table. Ryuji indicated towards it with his free hand. “I went by that second-hand shop near LeBlanc and they had a used kotatsu for sale. So I bought it with some of the money I made workin’.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You bought us a kotatsu?

“Hell yeah, man! You’ll be back before winter ends and we can probably use it in the spring some too. It’s not as nice as the one I had at my mom’s place but it’ll be fine for now. Right?

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You’re making me want to drop everything and come home right away.

“You haven’t seen nothin’ yet.” Ryuji enthused as he moved through the apartment toward the dining area. The table and chair set from Akira’s room above LeBlanc had been set up. In the kitchen Ryuji opened every cabinet and drawer, showcasing their neatly organized dishes and utensils. He had spent an annoyingly long time the day before removing the old paper cabinet liners. He had replaced them with clean new ones and Akira took notice. He complimented them and Ryuji’s chest swelled with pride.

“Bathroom is next,” he announced, continuing the tour with as much grandeur as he could muster. He slipped inside through the living room entryway. It was an easy way to bypass the bedroom. He wanted to save the best room for last. He had stocked the bathroom with all their combined toiletries. New blue-grey towels hug from the walls. A matching rug was laid out over the tiles. “Futaba picked out the bathroom decor. I hope it’s okay.”

“It looks great!” Akira assured him.

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: We’ll have to do something to thank her.

**“Totally,” Ryuji agreed, nodding his head. “It’s weird to say this but it was fun shoppin’ for the stuff with her.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’m glad you two have been spending time together.

“We’re actually gonna go to a game night thingy tonight.“

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: A game night?

“The weird guys at the tattoo shop have game night on Sundays. I mentioned it to Futaba and she practically begged me to go. So I’m gonna take her.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It sounds like fun. : )

“It got me out of my chess game with Akechi. So I’m fine with it,” Ryuji sighed, feeling a throb of annoyance settle at his temple. “I still haven’t beaten him. I don’t think I ever will.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: He’s still coming over to play? ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’m surprised he’s dragging it out.**

“I thought he would lose interest but I guess not.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: He can become hyper-fixated sometimes. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Do you want me to talk to him about it?**

“No. It’s not that big of a deal. I just wish he wouldn’t come over every night.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: He’s there every night? ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: lol He must miss me. ;D**

“Don’t even joke about that, man,” Ryuji complained. “Did you ever finish that chess book he got for ya?”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Oh yeah. Finished it within a couple of days. There’s not a lot to do here at the hospital.

“Can I borrow it?”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You want to borrow it?

“It might help me beat him,” He explained in a soft tone. He shrugging his shoulders to try and play off his embarrassment. “I’ll try anythin’ at this point.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Wow lol ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You are desperate**

“You have no idea, man.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’ll send it off in the mail before I go to my parent’s house.

“Oh, speakin’ of, how are things going with all that? Your recovery and your parents?” Ryuji asked, watching Akira’s lips turn down at the corners. He reached a hand up to touch the crisp white strips of gauze wrapped around his neck. Briefly lost in thought, he itched the fabric.

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Recovery is going well. I’ll probably be out of here in a few days. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: My parents will pick me up and I’ll be stuck with them until Christmas. Maybe even New Years.** ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It all depends on what the doctors say.**

“Sorry if this is a stupid thing to ask, but can you explain it all to me? I don’t know 'bout all that medical stuff like you do.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It’s not a stupid question. I promise. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’m happy to answer anything you want to know.**

“I want to know all of it. Well maybe not all of it but the real important stuff,” Ryuji explained, earning a soft smile from Akira. “Takemi said the surgery went well. What comes after surgery?”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’ll need to do speech therapy in order to regain my tone and clarity. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I have to rest my voice before I can start on that though. It could be a few weeks before I’m allowed to attempt speaking.** ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’m sorry again that I won’t be back for Christmas.**

“I understand, man. It’s not your fault.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It’s frustrating ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I want to come home

**“I know,” Ryuji agreed. “I want ya home too. What about the surgery trial? Are you don’t with it?”

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Kind of. I still have to report my results. Right now it’s mostly a lot of medical tests and question sheets. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I also have to talk to Dr. Igor about my feelings. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Which is really annoying.

“They’re still makin’ you see that creepy guy?!”

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Unfortunately. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Once I’m out of the hospital I’ll go see the doctor my parents picked out. And I assume a therapist too. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: They’ll send data back to the hospital. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I might eventually have to come back here for tests or if there are complications.

“What kind of complications?” Ryuji asked, his tone guarded.

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Obviously there’s still a chance that the surgery failed. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: We won’t really know until I’m able to start speech therapy

“And your breathin’?”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It’s been better. I don’t wake up as much during the night. So that must be a sign that it’s better. [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: After the surgery, I was on oxygen for a while. They were pretty insistent about it. I’m at least past the need for that.

“Was it… Y'know… Scary?”

There was a short lull in the conversation after Ryuji’s question. The moment the words were out of his mouth he immediately regretted them. Akira’s eyes trailed away and he stared blankly off to the side. Ryuji could hear his fingers patting restlessly over the keys of his laptop. Tension set itself into the lines of Akira’s neck and shoulders

“You don’t gotta talk about it. I shouldn’t'a asked.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It’s okay.

Akira turned his attention back to the screen. His eyes weary.

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Honestly, yes. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It still sort of is. I won’t know for several weeks if it worked or if it failed. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: The uncertainty is frightening. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I was pretty out of it for the first few days so there’s a lot of big gaps in my memory. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’m not used to getting so much sleep so I still feel kind of foggy. The past few days haven’t felt real to me somehow.

“Anyone would be freaked out by all of that,” Ryuji insisted in a soft tone. “Hell, just hearin’ about it makes me feel kinda weird. I can’t imagine what you’re goin’ through. I wish I could do more for you.”

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You’re doing amazing, actually. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: This whole thing has been taxing on both of us. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You’ve got so much going on right now.

“Speakin’ of,” Ryuji leaned back against the bathroom counter. “I thought a lot 'bout what you and Ann said. This whole tattoo thing I’m doin’- I enjoy it and I’m learnin’ a lot, way more than I was learnin’ at Uni. It might turn into somethin’ great for me or it might turn into nothin’. Either way, I wanna focus more of my attention on it. So yesterday I went in and dropped my classes. Er, well I put 'em on hold or whatever. I can still go back next semester if I really want to. I got my scholarship and all still.”

**[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It’s like you said, ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You can always go back if you want to.

**“I know, it just feels like a failure or something’.” ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Don’t count it against yourself. ** **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Okay? ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You won’t know if you like something until you try it, right?

“It’s not my resolve that I’m worryin’ about,” Ryuji told him, grimacing. “It’s my mom. I don’t know what to tell her.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: The truth

“I know. I just-… She’s gonna be disappointed.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: It’s your life. You have to decide what you do with it. **[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I know that better than anyone. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Trust me, it’s okay to take risks.

“Man, when did you get so wise? It’s kinda creepy. You’re turning into Boss or somethin’.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: lol Sorry. I might have laid it on too thick. You get my meaning though. [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You never showed me the bedroom.

“Huh? Oh! Oh yeah!” A smile broke loose across Ryuji’s face. He had almost forgotten about the surprise in the bedroom. After adjusting his camera to allow Akira a clear view he entered their room. It was fully assembled, a clean mashup of the remainder of their possessions. Ryuji turned in a slow circle, stopping when he came to their sleeping area. What had once been two futons and a mess of blankets was now a neatly made double bed.

“You got us a bed!” Akira signed, his movements excited.

“Actually Ann and Shiho got us a bed.” Ryuji corrected, running his hands over the duvet to smooth a stray wrinkle. “Ann said it’s supposed to be a housewarmin’ slash Christmas gift.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: What?!

“I’m pretty excited about it. My knee ain’t a real big fan of sleeping on the futons.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Did you put it together by yourself?

“No way. Futaba and Makoto did most of it. Haru put the sheets on.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: lol I’m sure they made a huge spectacle out of it.

“You got no idea, man. It took them hours. Oh yeah! Speakin’ of Futaba and Makoto,” Ryuji trailed off suggestively. “How long have they…?”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Close to a year? ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: You really didn’t know?**

“I can’t know somethin’ like that!”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Don’t worry about it so much. It’s not any different from Ann and Shiho. Or you and me. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I can’t believe Ann and Shiho got us a bed.**

“I can,” Ryuji scoffed, despite the rush of heat running up the back of his neck. “Ann ain’t exactly subtle with that kinda stuff.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: She’s persistent. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Not that I’m complaining.**

“It totally gave me some ideas, y'know, for when you get home.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Oh yeah? [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Like what?

“Don’t ask for details. I’d rather show ya than tell ya.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Will you? ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Show me I mean** ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: When I get back**

“Of course,” Ryuji murmured, averting his eyes away from his phone screen briefly. “I can’t look at you when we talk about it.” _ "You’re cute,”_ Akira signed.

“Stop that!”

Before either one of them could say more, the door to Akira’s hospital room opened. Ryuji could hear someone speaking in the background but the words were too muffled to make out.

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I have to go now. I’m sorry.

“It’s okay,” Ryuji said, shrugging his shoulders lightly. “We can just text for now.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: Sounds good. ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: I’m glad we got to talk for a while.** ** [♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: The apartment looks great! Thank you for working so hard on it.**

“Of course, man. Go do your hospital stuff. I’ll talk to you later.”

[♣]]]Joker[♠]]]: TTYL

The video call disconnected, leaving Ryuji staring at their thread of messages.

[gaasaku-fanfests]

Enslaved (Part 7 & 8)

Title: Enslaved Author: Pikaboubou Rating: E Word Count: LOL 86,775 Summary: AU; Suna succeeded in the Konoha Crush, enslaving their people. Years later Sakura is forced into the care of the man who destroyed her village, and is surprised by what she finds in him. Gaara, on the other hand, is interested in becoming more… ‘social’. Warnings: sexual assault, abuse, stockholm syndrome, graphic sexual content, murder, torture, physical abuse, verbal abuse, foul language. Author’s Note(s): Both Sakura POV and Gaara POV. Despite the warnings this is actually not as a dark as it sounds, and does in fact have some comedy and romance. There’s some OOC moments, but hey, its fanfiction. (Also have plans for a sequel if well received) (Additional note: Mild dub-con elements in the early section but not a dark story. If you don’t like dark Gaara you may still like this.👍😊💕) [Due to the size (and 10 parts) this story has been merged into 5 parts/posts.]

Prompt chosen: AU, War

Partner: saku-harem

Part 7

The next few days were ridiculous.

Sakura would sleep in his room at night, and when Gaara would leave someone would fetch her to bring her back to that strange bedroom. She would be forced to change into some sort of ridiculous harem attire, and made to sit in one spot for him to return.

Now he was just beginning to expect it, and would immediately come up to 'her room' to bring her back down into his. It was exhausting, and she made sure to complain about it every single day.

Today seemed like she would be going into the same ridiculous routine, leaving her to groan as the door to his room opened.

"Oooh don't you people ever give up?! He doesn't want me staying up there!!" Sakura turned away from the window to stare down whoever was taking her away today, but ended up blinking in surprise.

"Sakura Haruno, yes?" The blonde kunoichi waltzed in like she owned the place, well she technically did. "I require your company today."

Immediately the pinkette flushed, thinking that this beautiful woman, who also happened to be Gaara's sister, desired her for darker reasons.

"What for?" Sakura asked before wringing her hands.

"I'll be prepping you for tonight's festivities." Temari answered, beckoning her to follow as she exited the room. The pinkette rushed to follow after the blonde, wearing only her casual red dress with black shorts. Outside the room she hurriedly slipped on her shoes, and scurried to keep up.

Temari walked at a fast pace, that was for certain. Within a matter of minutes they were already walking down the city streets.

They rounded a corner, surprising Sakura when they were at an entrance to a hidden spa.

"Alright, hurry in. We need you to look classy if you're going to be on Gaara's arm." The blonde pushed at her back, and almost immediately upon entry the women in the shop set to work.

The pinkette was tugged this way and that, her only moments of rest was a mud bath and a relaxing facial. Other than that they roughly exfoliated her skin, put weird things in her hair like mud and oils repeatedly washing and drying her. It was a strange phenomena that she never wished to experience again. They plucked her brows, exfoliated her lips, cleaned her nails, scrubbed her hands and feet with harsh pumice stones, applied paraffin waxes, oils, lotions, potions; you name it and it was done to her.

By the time they applied her small amount of makeup she was exhausted. Temari seemed to be going through similar treatments, but handled it with the grace of a pedigree cat. Sakura was amazed by this woman's resilience.

"So, my brother, what all have you two done together?" The blonde didn't even bother looking at her as she asked the shameless question. The pinkette stumbled for a moment, wincing as her hair was yanked back into an elegant twisted hairstyle.

"I don't kiss and tell--"

"Ah, so you have kissed him. I'm surprised he hasn't killed you yet." Temari was cruel, but Sakura was certain it was merely a defensive act. Something told her that this woman was actually kind.

"He says he likes me enough that he'll protect me like he protects himself. I think that spells out how he feels." The pinkette could play this game, she grew up with Ino after all. It seemed to get the blonde's attention rather quickly.

"If you think you can tame him then think again. Gaara is ruthless--"

"You obviously don’t know him well, because I have experienced a gentleness from him that no other man has ever shown me." Sakura knew that this woman would not hesitate to beat the crap out of her if she felt like it. However, she merely smirked at the pinkette's boldness.

"Sounds like you like him, that's surprising too. Most women are scared shitless of him." The blonde gave a small laugh, completely at peace with the woman behind her yanking her hair into a high spikey bun.

"I'm not most women. I don't fear pain, and I don't fear death. Only humiliation." Sakura brought her eyes forward, and her words seemed to silence the powerful kunoichi sitting next to her.

Once they were finished the were given robes to walk back in, what they were going to do with her clothes she didn't know, Suna was a strange place.

Temari walked side by side with her up the stairs, but when the pinkette went to keep going the blonde yanked her back.

"My room, I have some things for you." Without even the opportunity to argue Sakura was pulled by the wrist into the blonde's elegant bedroom. It was very classy, draped in many fine purple silks and decorated with fans that the pinkette knew had to double as weapons.

Temari disappeared into her closet then came back out with a box of powder, and a velvet box that Sakura could only assume was some sort of jewelry.

"Perfumed powder mixed with diamond dust, it's extremely expensive so don't spill it. Also, this is one of my best bracelets, I hope it will go with whatever the hell you're wearing tonight." The blonde tried to sound tough, but it was obvious that she seemed to be enjoying this a bit too much. The pinkette nodded in thanks while taking the trinkets. "Kankuro brought Gaara with him to pick out corsages, yes this is a very elegant engagement. The annual Suna banquet celebrates the history of our people, and schmoozing up political officials. Don't fuck this up, keep your mouth shut, and just look pretty. That shouldn't be hard for you."

The sneaky compliment Temari threw in did not go unnoticed, and earned a smirk from Sakura.

"I'm a smart girl, I can blend." The pinkette snickered, and surprisingly the blonde laughed a bit before shooing her out of the room.

Now it was time for Sakura to prepare herself for probably one of the strangest nights of her life.

--- ... --- ...

The elegant black and nude dress was on, the black heels with ankle straps being slipped into. She had dusted her collarbone and shoulders with the perfumed sparkling dust, and it made her skin look shimmery, like she didn't belong on this plain. She reddened her lips a bit more, but just enough to look bitten. A wide crystal choker was placed high on her long neck, and the bracelet, which luckily was a diamond one, matched rather well with her choker.

Last but not least she placed a crystal pin in her hair in the shape of a cherry blossom. It went well with the elegant hairstyle. With her bangs brushed to the side she nodded at her appearance. This was probably the most beautiful she would ever look in her life.

She chose not to wear a bra underneath from how skin tight the dress was, and her underwear was the lacey kind that left no indentations. Her whole form looked sleek and fluid, elegant and sexy.

She wandered back out into Gaara's bedroom, not expecting him to be there. When she heard a light sound, like someone opening their mouth to speak she turned her head to see who it was. The redhead was wearing that nice cream suit she had seen in his closet the other day with a sharp red shirt underneath, and a white tie. He seemed completely dumbstruck.

"Cat caught your tongue?" Sakura straightened before jutting out her hip seductively.

Gaara was dumbfounded for a moment, but then quickly shook himself out of his daze. His eyes narrowed dangerously, and he practically slammed the door behind him making her jump.

"Woah, I was just teasing--"

"We're not going." He huffed as he tried to roughly take off his tie, blinking in confusion she closed the distance between them.

"Why? Is something wrong?" The pinkette tried peering into his eyes, but he refused to look at her.

'That's strange...' She studied him, but couldn't find an answer to his strange behavior. Finally he gave an exasperated sigh.

"I don't want anyone seeing you like this--"

"-Oh for heavens sake, Gaara! If you hated the dress why did you agree to buy it?!" When he wouldn't answer she grew frustrated, ripping the tie out of his hands to synch it back up to his neck, then she pulled him by said tie to lean forward. "We are going."

"No, we are not! I can't have every man lusting over you! I'll end up killing everyone in the fucking room!" The redhead sounded legitimately stressed about it, as if what he was saying was the truth. "Those men imagining you in disgusting ways... I can't--!"

"Let them imagine it then, I'm not going home with any of them." Sakura tried not to snicker about it, but her smile still peaked through. She undid his tie finding it had gotten too messed up, and began remaking it.

"Sure, walk around like that. Let every man eye-fuck you while I watch!" Gaara hissed, and as his voice started to rise she hushed him gently back into a calm state.

"Yes, but I'll be on your arm. You'll have the prettiest girl while they have the mediocre ones." She wasn't trying to flatter herself, rather she was trying to make a point that he could show her off, and revel in their jealousy. "Even if I'm wearing rags there will still be men who will desire me just because I'm female. There is no getting around that--"

"If anyone looks at you wrong I will kill them." The redhead huffed stubbornly making her smack at his chest.

"You will not! What is it going to take for you to be okay with this? Do I have to get on my knees, and beg you or something?" The pinkette gave an exasperated sigh before tightening up his tie. She glanced up to see him looking off to the side, trying avidly to avoid her gaze. "Well?!"

"Or something... could you elaborate?" Gaara murmured softly, awkwardly clearing his throat before staring off in a different direction. She blinked at him in disbelief.

Was he trying to get something perverted out of this?! Was she going to have to bargain with him?! She almost couldn't believe it.

Almost being the key word here. She knew that he had that side in him, he just hadn’t utilized it until she had came into his life.

'Fine.' She mused to herself before letting out a sigh of resignation.

"Well, it could be one something... or a few different somethings. Maybe I could let you choose one 'something' you'd like, but you have to show me that you can be a gentleman tonight." She smirked, knowing full well that his mind would probably be racing with possibilities. He licked his lips for a moment before looking down.

"I get to choose?" The redhead spoke shyly above a whisper, it was adorable.

"As long as it's not full penetration, then sure. Whatever you want." His eyes widened at that, and she moved in to swiftly kiss him on the cheek. She teasingly slipped past him, not failing to notice how quickly he turned to follow her as she made her way to the exit.

In a split second he was there, opening the door with the fiercest blush she had ever seen on him. Before she could step through it, however, he shoved something towards her.

It was a corsage of pink roses that matched the color of her hair. She outstretched her one bare wrist, and he tied it down with a stern expression. Once again, he was acting too innocent for his own good.

"It's beautiful, thank you." She admired the flowers attached to her wrist with a smile. He nodded quickly before gently ushering her out of the room.

--- ... --- ...

"I hate these things." Gaara huffed bitterly, walking steadily with her arm linked in his. She gave a small giggle at his expense.

"Don't forget about what we talked about. I want you on your best behavior if you want to get that 'something' tonight." Sakura smirked as she felt him tense under his jacket. They just rounded the corner when they came face to face with the legendary puppet master.

"Oh ho! Did my ears really just hear that--?"

"Shut up, Kankuro." The redhead narrowed his eyes threateningly, forcing the puppet master's smile to disappear.

"Gaara, knock it off." The pinkette warned before turning to Kankuro. "You look nice this evening."

"Heh, in comparison to you I look like road kill--"

Gaara started to growl, receiving a smack to the chest once more from his date.

"Do that again and you get nothing." Sakura glared at him, and while he tried glaring back at her his anger eventually waned.

"Two 'somethings', or no deal." The redhead put it out there so blatantly that it was obvious what he was bargaining for. At first she gaped at him in disbelief, but then finally narrowed her eyes.

"I get to pick the second 'something'--"

"No, I get to choose both--"

"Quit being greedy, you get what you get or you can have nothing. We can turn around right now, and I'll sleep upstairs. Alone." The pinkette was a ruthless haggler, and his eyes blinked in shock over how she was willing not only to deny him 'something' but also take even more away. She was certain that he hadn't taken that into consideration.

"Wow, Gaara, you should take the deal." Kankuro looked between them with interest while the redhead continued to glare daggers at her.

"Three 'somethings', and you can choose two." A small smirk started to form on his mouth, and finally she began to feel relief over the fact that he was becoming playful.

"Deal. Be sure to grab a drink while we're there cause it's going to be a rough night for you." Sakura gave him a teasing smile that had him looking off to the side.

"Likewise." Gaara grinned then, and that's when she was pretty sure she had just sold her soul to the devil.

"So, Sakura... do you have a sister--?"

"The closest thing I have to a sister is already a part of your harem. Try bantering with Ino, she's just as bad if not worse--"

"Really, billboard brow?!" Speak of the devil and she shall appear, Ino walked up with Temari before slipping her arm through Kankuro's. She wore a rather scandalous purple dress that was quite strappy all over.

Sakura couldn't believe it, she never thought that she would see her best friend again, let alone tonight of all nights. The smile that stretched across her face made her cheeks hurt pleasantly.

"Ino-pig!!" The pinkette detached herself from the redhead to throw herself at her best friend. They hugged it out so tightly that the rest of the group didn't know how to feel about it. "I missed you so much!!"

"You too!! Are you okay?! I thought they were going to kill you!" The blonde ran her fingers down her best friend's cheek, checking her over for any marks. Sakura felt a tidal wave of emotion begin to rush through her, but pushed it down in the sake of professionalism.

"I'm fine. They threw me in with this broody fellow over here, and he's actually a huge sweetheart don't let his glare fool you--"

"Sakura." Gaara warned, and it made her giggle for some reason.

"Ooo, yeah you can have the violent ones. I got the goofball--"

"H-hey!" Kankuro huffed at the girls as they erupted into a fanfare of giggles. Suddenly the two best friends linked arms to continue down that hallway, Temari seemed to say nothing about what was happening, but her smirk let on that she was amused.

Gaara growled for a bit as he followed behind them, but Sakura decided to not pay much attention to it. Instead the two girls clucked away over what they had been doing over the past few weeks. When it came to something nitty gritty they would begin whispering to each other, looking back at their dates, then break out into giggles.

The redhead growled a bit louder--

"Hey man, I get that its irritating, but look at it this way. They are two very beautiful girls practically smooshed together, it just takes a little bit of imagination and then--"

"Are you kidding me?!" Ino whipped around to poke Kankuro in the chest. "We don't do that perverted stuff, get your head out of the gutter!"

The redhead blinked owlishly, before noticing that Sakura was slipping her arm back into his. She knew Kankuro originally wanted her to be a part of her harem, now she wondered just what he would have done with her had she actually went along with the other girls.

"Well, now I know what your brother is into." The pinkette gave a scoff before urging the redhead to go forward down the hall. She could hear Ino chewing Kankuro out even as they turned another corner to go down a flight of stairs. It seemed she didn't have to worry about Ino at all, she obviously had the man wrapped around her finger.

‘She seems happy too, I’m glad.’

"What is my brother into, exactly--?"

"I really shouldn't have to spell it out, but I can be nice just this once. Lesbians." She tried to remain serious, but as his face distorted at the thought she nearly snorted with laughter.

"I don't understand. If women only have love for each other, and none for a man, then why would that be attractive? It makes no sense, the man would get nothing out of it." Gaara's naked brows furrowed in confusion as he tried thinking it over.

"I don't know, what would you do if I decided to just go over there and make out with Ino--?"

"I would kill her." His tone was practically murderous, and yet she had to stifle a laugh.

"What if I asked you to join?" Sakura smirked when he went completely silent. His lips formed a thin line while his brow continued to furrow. "Does it make sense now?"

"...I'm not really sure." The redhead tried to focus on something, his knuckle coming up to his mouth to bite at it in deep concentration. He was always so cute when he couldn't quite understand something.

"Have Kankuro explain it then--"

"Explain what now?" The puppet master had jogged to catch back up to them, leaving his enraged date in the dust.

"Gaara needs a crash course on the birds and the bees, especially between women--"

"I do not!! I understand it well enough!! I just don't care!!" Gaara hissed at the both of them, where Kankuro grew a bit nervous the pinkette busted out into laughter.

"Oh whatever! You're such a liar!" She snickered under her hand, watching him just about boil over.

"Does it work both ways?!" The redhead fumed while stopping dead in his tracks. She blinked at him for a moment as it caught her off guard.

"I'm not following--"

"Do women enjoy seeing two men together?! It's not that hard to understand--!"

"Um... I can't really say for myself but some women like it." Sakura bristled when he stepped closer. His haunting eyes had her mind stolen, hypnotized by the darkness that surrounded the ghostly opaque color.

"I want to know what you think about it." Gaara spoke in a low tone, making her hairs stand on edge. Why was he suddenly so interested in this topic?

"I've never seen anything like that, how should I know?!" The pinkette snapped, and surprisingly he straightened with a calm expression setting her at ease.

"Let's find out." The redhead said matter-o-factly. She stared at him incredulously, wondering just what the hell he was talking about--

Then he did the most strangest thing. He leaned over, and kissed his own brother on the mouth. It wasn't a truly intimate kiss, but it was longer than a peck and it was enough to make her shriek.

"GAARA!! What the hell are you doing!?!" Sakura quickly yanked him back towards her, forcing him to break contact with his utterly stunned brother.

"Well? Did it do anything--?"

"Did it do anything?!?! YOU JUST KISSED YOUR BROTHER!!" The pinkette screamed at him, and Kankuro immediately stepped in to try and save the day.

"Hey now! It's okay! No harm done! It's not like we're jacking each other off--"

"Oh my god NO!!" Sakura slammed her hands over her ears before storming away from the two. She chanted gibberish to herself to try and get the image out of her mind.

It took a few minutes to get her head back in the game after that fiasco.

--- ... --- ... ---

"I said I was sorry." Gaara murmured softly to her as they waited to be announced. Apparently everyone needed to be announced before entering the banquet, and she was already on edge from his shenanigans earlier. "I don't see what the issue is, though. It's not like he's female--"

"It's still incest, Gaara. Please don't defend things like that." Sakura groaned, but then stiffened when she heard him chuckle.

"Your face was priceless." The redhead broke out into a genuine grin, taking her breath away with how handsome he was when he smiled.

It was then that the doors opened, and whoever was paying attention on the other side got a good view of his wonderful smile before he quickly turned to stone. With a hardened expression he walked forward, a crowd of well dressed people started clapping from the get go, but then it quickly died down into a strange wave of whispering. He rose a hairless brow at the odd situation.

"That's the first time that's happened." Gaara murmured while he looked around himself curiously, then walked her towards a large table meant for the guests of honor.

"Why are they doing that?" The pinkette looked around too, noticing many eyes were staring at them.

"I've never brought a date to any function. I assume they think I must have snapped or something--"

"Or 'something' indeed." Sakura teased, and got a suggestive glance for her effort.

"Don't tempt me, I will make a scene." His eyes shamelessly sized her up before pulling out her chair. Even though he was teasing her back, the redhead still managed to play a gentlemanly card.

"That sounds like fun, let's get kicked out for fooling around on the buffet table." The pinkette laughed before sitting in her spot. He took a seat next to her, and funnily enough Kankuro was sitting on his other side. They were the last to be announced, thus the last to take their seats.

"Or we could give them all a real heart attack, right now." He gave her a devilish grin that made her wither.

"Please don't kiss your brother again, I swear to god--"

Gaara leaned in quickly, capturing her jawline in his hands before placing a soft kiss on her lips. Before she could say anything a hushed silence fell on the crowd of people in the room, and someone somewhere dropped a glass that happened to shatter loudly.

Kankuro snickered behind his hand, and it was irksome enough for Gaara to pull away to glare at him.

"Why are you laughing?" Even though the redhead was trying his best to be intimidating the puppet master couldn't contain his giggles.

"You didn't wipe your mouth first. She just got an indirect kiss from me-- OW!!" Kankuro winced as he recieved a hard punch to the shoulder. "Hey man, it was a joke!"

"Not a funny one, you should work on your punchlines." At first it sounded like a normal response, but when Sakura looked deeper into it she nearly squealed. The two boys looked at her suspiciously before she broke out into giggles.

"You made a pun! 'Punch' lines! Get it?" The pinkette clapped her hands giddily, enjoying the fact that sometimes the redhead could act like a normal person. It wasn't long before Kankuro started chuckling too, yet all they could get out of Gaara was a smirk.

The night started off strangely, what with everyone freaking out and staring at them, but then a few boring speeches were made. Certain council members gave these droll monologues that made not only her yawn, but Gaara too. She was beginning to understand why he hated these things.

Next there was dinner, and it was very delicious with several of Suna's signature dishes. Gaara got his own plate of what looked like a cooked tongue. She shivered at the thought, but he seemed to be excited about it. She happily had the chicken.

Desert was surprisingly cake with ice cream, and while she giggled at the thought of a children's birthday party the rest of the table raised their brows at her. Except Ino, she knew why it was funny.

All that was left was essentially drinking, and dancing. A few men had actually come up to ask her for a dance, but had left with their tails between their legs when Gaara would answer for her; in his most threatening tone possible.

They stood there, wine in hand, watching everyone else twirl on the floor. She sighed wishing she could do the same.

"What's wrong?" The redhead queried, leaning against the wall looking like a complete punk with a bad attitude.

"I want to dance." The pinkette huffed before giving him a pair of classic puppy eyes. His face actually started to look like his heart was breaking a little bit.

"I don't know how." He flushed lightly at his admission, and she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I see..." Sakura stared back out at the crowd, watching them twirl to the beat of the music.

"Wait here." Gaara suddenly walked past her, leaving her alone on the wall. He left the room completely, which worried her a little bit.

"Well, I guess I'll just stand here--"

"I'm shocked that Lord Gaara has brought such a beautiful flower with him tonight, one that should be dancing rather than standing against the wall." One of the younger council members, still in his mid thirties however, approached her while holding out his hand to shake.

"Hojo, it's a pleasure, miss?" He waited for her to respond, and finally she kicked into gear.

"Sakura." The pinkette smiled handing him her hand, to which he surprisingly kissed the top rather than shaking it. It made her instantly nervous.

"Lord Gaara must be smitten with you--"

"Yes, he really is." Sakura decided to press that point, hoping that this man would back off. Yet his eyes drank in her appearance in a way that she would deem as inappropriate.

"You're not native, I see. It shows in your hair." Hojo grinned, his dark locks swaying into his eyes. Something about this man made her uneasy, and it wasn't just the perverted way he looked at her. She had met many perverts that she still felt comfortable around.

This man, Hojo, was clearly a cunning person who killed with slow acting poisons rather than with knives.

"I'm from Konoha." She finally answered truthfully, and got a strange expression in return.

"Oh, I see. That's why he likes you." The councilman's face cracked with a dark laugh making every hair raise on her body in alert. "Makes perfect sense why you were able to tame him--"

"Caring for one another does not make us a beast, and tamer. You would do well to watch what you say, and not just because I'm Gaara's date either." The pinkette threatened, letting him know that she could be just as dangerous as some of the other ninja here. However, she merely received another laugh discrediting her.

"Konoha women, so spirited. In more ways than one--" He went to stroke her hand, but was quickly intercepted by a very protective big brother.

'Oh thank god--'

"If you don't want to die tonight you'll back off, do you understand? Gaara will kill you if he sees you touching her." Kankuro grabbed Hojo's arm, and the man wiggled his fingers in surrender. Like this was just a game to him.

"I'm merely playing, I wouldn't dream of touching the jinchuriki's concubine-- er sorry, forgive me, his 'mate'." The middle age man sized her up before turning away to talk to other guests. A few people were watching curiously, probably wondering what the hostility was about.

"Fucking bastard." Kankuro nearly spat, but Sakura shook her head.

"Don't tell Gaara about this, it will ruin his night." The pinkette looked back out onto the floor wondering where he had even gone off to. In a matter of seconds of him leaving she had become shark bait.

They were already trying to use her to get to Gaara, it disgusted her.

"It's no problem, I just know if Gaara starts a fight it'll be really bad. Not only for him, but for you as well. Sometimes he just rushes in just because he knows he can, and that he is strong enough to get away with murder... literally--" Kankuro looked pale at the thought, but she really couldn't blame him after having to deal with the redhead's odd behaviors. In the beginning he was a ranting lunatic, but he seemed to have mellowed out since she started giving him the attention he needed.

It made her smile, knowing that she could make a huge difference for someone.

"Back, let's go." Out of nowhere Gaara appeared, not stopping as he made a beeline for the dance floor snatching up her arm on the way there. She stumbled after him, trying to balance on her heels as he forced her to powerwalk.

"Gaara, where did you go?" Sakura asked, but was quickly distracted when they got to the dance floor. He turned abruptly attempting to put his hands on her, but instead furrowed his brow in thought. "Start with the waist, we can just sway if you want."

"Rrrright." The redhead's speech sounded off, something wasn't right here, but he managed to put his hands on her waist... then let them slip down to her hips. She gave an exasperated sigh, wrapping her arms around his neck.

That's when she smelled just a hint of alcohol--

"Oh no, you didn't do what I think you did, did you?" The pinkette suddenly felt extremely worried, she had no clue what kind of drunk he was, and now she was stuck in a very precarious situation.

"Ha! That's a weird sentence!" The redhead gave her a funny kind of smile, and her point was proven.

"Oh my god, oh no. Oh nooo--" Sakura started to panic.

"Whassup?" Gaara tried tilting his head to see her more clearly... even though they were literally inches away from each other.

"What kind of drunk are you? Happy? Sad? Murderous?" The pinkette bit her lip in concern, watching him tilt his head to the other side.

"I dunno... never drank like this soooo, guess we'll find out!" The redhead laughed genuinely, practically like a normal person. He seemed relaxed, casual, but still a bit drunk.

Okay, maybe this could turn out for the better. He could seem more sociable--

"Heeey... did I tell you that you're really gorgeous?" While Gaara had attempted a whisper it was still loud enough for a few couples to hear. Sakura almost grimaced, but stopped herself as she knew that he was honestly trying to compliment her. She forced a small laugh for his comfort.

"You're not so bad yourself. You clean up nice--"

"Woah now! I know you want my body, but we should take things slooow." The redhead snickered before growing a bit more ballsy, and started to nearly waltz. She kept up with him, but still kept her eyes sharp watching for sharks in the water.

"Yes, you know me so well." Sakura rolled her eyes, but still carried a smile for him. She was surprised at how well he could dance now.

"I do! I know you better than anybody--"

"Oh really?" She played into his game, getting the biggest grin she had ever seen on his face.

"Yup, I know what you look like naked--"

"SSH! Gaara!" Although she smacked his chest she couldn't help but snort at his comment. With a laugh he twirled her outward, then pulled her back into his embrace rather hypnotically. It made her dizzy for many reasons.

"Good thing we already did stuff cause you're in trouble, pretty lady." He was clearly teasing at first, but then his eyes truly focused on her. "You're in a lot of trouble... big trouble..."

"Are you playing the hero then? Am I the damsel in distress?" With another giggle the pinkette was spun outward, then with greater force pulled back in. His eye's were so focused on her own that it seemed like he was thinking they were alone in this room full of people.

"Not a hero... I want to be the villain." Gaara purred softly, and as she blinked owlishly at him he leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I'll tie you up... and make you scream for mercy..."

Her heart started pounding wildly, her cheeks inflamed at the thought.

Sakura thought of pushing away, thinking that perhaps someone might have heard him say that to her, but everyone just continued dancing like nothing happened.

"Eeeh... you're blushing. Hehe..." Gaara snickered, and for his boyish behavior she smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "I don't want that expression to go away."

"Since when did you become such a pervert--?"

"That day when we were running and you got attacked, I licked a cut on your leg... and you blushed just like this-" His hand came up to trace his thumb over her cheekbone, the action made her tremble. "-I want to do that tonight--"

"Gaara, stop saying things like that in public." She tried to warn him, but it only made him grin devilishly.

"Why? Afraid someone might hear me? Hear about how I'm going to strip you down later--?"

"Gaara!" Sakura hissed at him, and he raised a devious brow at her. He went to speak, but she immediately hushed him. "Say one more word about it, and I will start taking back the 'somethings'."

He blinked at that, and then surprisingly gave a bitter expression.

"Fine. Take them. I don't care--" The redhead huffed stubbornly, she almost couldn't believe the instant change.

"Really? You're going to throw a fit right here?" The pinkette groaned with frustration, and then pulled away from him.

"Hello, may I cut in?" A different council member approached them with enough balls to ask Sakura for a dance. While she was prepared for Gaara to tell the man 'no' he actually continued to glare at her.

"I don't care anymore. Dance with her, she enjoys being a people pleaser--"

"Gaara!" The pinkette blinked at him in disbelief, and he merely shrugged.

"I'll see you later, I'm going for a walk." The redhead turned his back on her quickly, and her stomach dropped. The older man grinned expectantly at her, holding his arms out for a dance. She turned to call out for Gaara but he was already gone in a cloud of sand.

She was alone... stuck with the wolves while she was nothing but a lamb to them.

Sakura moved in to dance, trying to play off confidence as this older man spun her around like a rag doll.

"Hojo told me good things about you, I just had to see for myself--"

"Did he now?" The pinkette went apathetic, acting as if that man didn't scare her.

"He did, you're an ex-leaf kunoichi aren't you? You certainly are high strung like one--" The older man was despicable straight out of the gate, and it took everything in her power not to stamp on his feet.

"I wouldn't say 'high strung', we just know our worth." Sakura hissed bitterly as she glared daggers at the man, his smile turned into a evil smirk.

"Yes. Now that's a look I wouldn't mind changing. When Gaara is finally through with your outrageous antics I'll have the guards send you my way. I know just what to do with that pouting mouth of yours, leaf slut." The councilman chuckled darkly, and she balked at his disgusting behavior. Not being able to stand it any longer she tried breaking free of his grasp, but he held on rather tightly. "Don't make a scene, my dear. It will reflect badly on your owner--"

"Get your fucking hands off of me!" The pinkette spat venomously at him, but it only made him laugh more.

She felt trapped in more ways then one. She needed to get away from these people. This was turning out to be a very frightening evening.

"You know what? I think a few of my colleagues would enjoy your company as well, you obviously must have some sort of 'charms' going for you, otherwise Lord Gaara would never keep one of your kind--"

"For the second time today I have to tell one of you assholes to get the hell away from Sakura." Kankuro appeared at her side, gripping at the councilman's shoulder with hands itching to kill. She had never felt so relieved in her life, in fact she instantaneously thanked him for it. The older man narrowed his eyes, clearly offended.

"I'm not done with her--"

"Not your choice, you gross old lech. I overheard what you fucking said. You're a nasty old pervert, and you should be ashamed of yourself." The puppet master gave the councilman a hard shove, getting complete disbelief out of the man.

"How dare you, Kankuro!? Dishonoring your village for some worthless leaf whore--!!"

The crack that resounded around the room was loud, and sickly, but it made the pinkette so happy she could cry for joy. Kankuro hit the older man so hard that she was almost one hundred percent certain she heard his jaw break. The councilman dropped so fast that he looked like a sack of meat falling to the floor, and Kankuro was practically steaming he was so pissed.

Alright, the puppet master definitely deserved an award for best gentleman of the night.

"Kankuro!? What are you doing!?!" Temari stormed over to her brother, and opened her mouth to scold him up and down. He stopped her before she could even start.

"I'm getting Sakura out of here, that's what I'm fucking doing. No wonder Gaara was pissy about being here tonight, even the council is filled with disgusting old fucks--!"

"Kankuro!" Temari warned, but he shook his head angrily.

"Nope. I'm done. I'm taking her to a safe place. Fuck'em." Kankuro snatched up the pinkette's arm, tugging her after him in a rough way. She stumbled a bit, but she knew he was just urgently wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible.

"What about me?!" Ino shouted after him, and he groaned.

"Have Temari bring you back!" The puppet master shouted, and threw open the main doors to the ballroom dramatically as they made their exit.

Her heels were clicking against stone double time in comparison to his dress shoes, his gate was much longer as well so she had to nearly run to keep up.

The halls around the area doubled as walkways around the courtyards, the night air was dry and cool under a bright silver moon. Had she been with someone else, she would have found it romantic.

"Let's stop here for a minute." Kankuro guided her to a stone bench, and practically forced her to sit down. She followed his demands, and rested for the time being. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you--?"

"No! No... it was just unnerving is all. Embarrassing..." Sakura looked out into the night, she was beginning to feel shittier by the second. "I hate this place. No offense, but I hate your people too. They are savages."

Her words were cruel, but at this point she just didn't care anymore. She wished she could just leave.

"We're not all like that, but I can understand why you'd think it. Since we took over Konoha our people have grown cocky. They forget what it was like to be honorable, and instead revel in the fortunes of war." The puppet master sat next to her with his hands on his knees, his fingers tapped away like they had strings attached to them.

"They're misguided, I want to change that. However, the 'council' deems me to be unsuitable for the title of Kazekage. They don't think I'm strong enough, they want someone like Gaara to do it."

"Why won't he?" The pinkette pressed, and the man next to her laughed.

"It's not that he won't, it's just that they don't think he's perfect for the job either. Gaara is violent, selfish, and unmerciful. While he could get us far just by riding his coat tails it would only make for more wars, and he would not hesitate to kill his own people--"

"He's not like that anymore! He's making great changes-!!" Sakura tried arguing, but Kankuro hushed her.

"Do you really believe that? What do you think he does when you're not around, hmm? Do you think he just sits on his ass, eating a lollipop?" The puppet master grew a bit angry over the topic, and she could tell that it had been bothering him for a while. "I bet he's maiming someone right this very second--!"

"Just because he stormed off doesn't mean he's going to kill someone. The only threat I heard from him tonight was that he would kill anyone who came on to me. To be honest you should be happy he left, otherwise he would have killed two council members--"

"He gave you away to one." Kankuro said lowly, and it seemed that he had been there to witness the whole entire exchange.

"Gaara didn't know that those men were going at my throat, and he doesn't need to know either--!" She was about to tear him a new one when low and behold Gaara walked up the steps from the courtyard.

'Uh oh...'

"I just love it when people talk behind my back, especially the ones I favor most." The redhead's eyes were glowing, but with what emotion remained unclear. It were as if he were perfectly calm, laying in wait like a silent panther. Yet there was something off about him.

"You deserve it." The puppet master huffed, and she watched as Gaara's head turned painfully slow in his direction. The moon glinting strangely off his eyes.

"Excuse me--?"

"You heard me, you ignorant bastard." Kankuro looked him dead in the eye without a single trace of fear. The redhead seemed to smirk at this.

"You're not afraid of me." Gaara seemed amused while his brother violently shook his head.

"No, I am done with your bullshit." The puppet master hissed before standing, storming over to him with the intent to harm. Before she knew what she was doing she put herself between them.

"It's not his fault, Kankuro! He didn't know!" Sakura suddenly started to yell, as if it would defend the man behind her more.

"I didn't know what, Sakura?" The redhead's humor left him instantly, chilling the air with his aura while also heating it with the sound of her name. She couldn't open her mouth, she didn't want him to be angry...

"Well, for starters, that guy Hojo cornered her at one point to creep on her. Then when your ass decided to ditch you left her in the hands of that old guy Hebiki, who might I add called her a 'leaf whore'--"

"Kankuro, that's enough!" The pinkette tried putting her hands over his mouth, but Kankuro quickly pushed them away.

"He said that once you were done with her he'd have the guards send her his way, so that him and the rest of the council can do whatever the fuck they want to her--!!"

"ENOUGH!!!" Sakura screamed at him, at first gaining a glare of betrayal from the puppet master, but his face quickly changed when he saw her begin to crack. "I didn't want... I didn't want him to know..."

She quickly tried to conceal a tear by wiping her cheek with the back of her hand, but another just fell forward to replace it.

"I'm going to bed... I don't want to talk about this anymore." The pinkette couldn't look the redhead in the face, she felt so embarrassed over the whole thing. Instead she merely began making her way back to the main building.

The two she left behind began talking normally to each other, and she was grateful that at least her outburst had now kept them from fighting.

--------- …………… ----------- …………..

Gaara hadn't planned for something like this to happen. If anything he actually had high hopes that the night would end well, but of course his rotten luck would have it turn sour.

'Perhaps I really did get bad luck when I broke that mirror--'

"So, are you going to kill them? If you do, you know the rest of the village will be in an uproar." Kankuro spoke, still a bit bitter over the events of the evening.

The redhead couldn't say anything, he was at a loss for words. He had left her all alone with the very men that he knew had it out for her. He was a failure as a mate, and his shame was beginning to make him immobile.

"Are you fucking listening to me--?"

"Yes. I'm sorry." Gaara blurted out before walking dejectedly over to the railing to look out into the night.

His vision was a bit off, still woozy from the alcohol he had snatched from one of the more drunken guests. Luckily for him the alcohol seemed to metabolize fast due to the fact that he was a jinchuriki.

He remembered leaving Sakura in able to go find the 'liquid courage'. No, he had never truly gotten drunk before, but from what alcohol he had in the past he knew that people always thought of him to be friendlier with a drink.

Surprise-surprise, Gaara was a giddy drunk.

At any rate he knew that people did ridiculous things when under the influence, so he thought he would use that to his advantage.

Turns out that he's a bit more than 'happy' with half a bottle of hard liquor. For some reason he turned into a rather forward flirt. He knew he had been hitting on her when he had returned to Sakura's side, but literally half the conversation was a blur.

The redhead did remember her shooting him down, and the bitterness that came with it especially after they had made plans for 'private' activities later. It had left him for a complete loop.

Then he did something extremely stupid, he left her with the very crowd he hated most.

'I'm such an idiot.' Gaara shamed himself with a sigh, noting his brother now was on the approach.

"You said to them that if they disrespected her that you would torture them. To be honest I think you should act on that promise." The puppet master leaned with him against the balcony, looking out at the same night sky. "Teach them a lesson, and then go apologize to Sakura."

Silence fell again at the sound of her name. The redhead felt like burying himself in a hole out of guilt.

"You made her cry--"

"I fucking know that!!" Gaara surprised himself with his own outburst. He had never felt so guilty before, nor had he ever cared about someone else's wellbeing in such a way. His chest was starting to hurt. "Will she feel better... will she smile again?"

The redhead had meant to keep such questions to himself, but he felt that his mind was becoming more and more scattered every day.

"Just go beat those idiots up, and then apologize to her. If she starts turning her attitude around then seize the moment, and do something you know she'll love." Kankuro patted his younger brother on the shoulder, but something about it felt off. He felt tense.

The inkling had been there for a long time. From the first moment the puppet master had mentioned taking her, to him always questioning about her, even tonight with his gallant 'rescue'.

Gaara had heard them, he had been out in the courtyard practically underneath them at the foot on the large staircase.

He had heard his brother's anger, his malice towards the younger for his selfish behavior. However, had it been a different woman the redhead knew that Kankuro would have acted differently. He wouldn't have given a single shit about any other female...

But Sakura... she was special, and he knew that there was a jealousy there that bubbled under the surface.

"You like her, don't you?" Gaara murmured softly, and while he didn't want to know the answer he knew he had to know it anyways.

It went quiet, nothing but the breeze was heard between them for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Kankuro shifted, and cleared his throat.

"She belongs to you, not me--" His older brother dodged the question, making it painfully obvious how he truly felt on the matter.

"I'm not talking about that. Do you love her?" The redhead pressed, and the silence that followed was palpable.

He didn't want to know, but he had to know. She was important to him, as was his own brother. Gaara had never felt so torn in his entire life--

"I don't know her that well to answer such a question, but I'm sure if she had came to me instead of you I would have fallen head over heels... but...." Kankuro gave a pitiful laugh before shaking his head.

"...I may like her, but you love her, so I will only ever further your relationship with her. You don't have to be concerned about me sabotaging anything. You are my brother... I could never do that to you."

Gaara felt his brother's words wash over him, dousing the redhead with a wave of care that awakened him. Kankuro was his brother, and he knew he could trust him regardless of his feelings for the pinkette.

For some reason it felt like so many peaceful doors opened up in his mind. There were so many thoughts... good thoughts.

"I trust you." Gaara murmured, not failing to notice how his older brother tensed up completely.

'I've... never said those words before in my life... he must know this too.'

"Heh, well then I guess I'm going with you to kick some council ass. Someone has got to watch your back!" The puppet master gave a hearty laugh.

Yes, this was an alliance that the redhead had truly needed. For once he felt grateful to have an older brother.

--- ... ---

"I told you all what would happen, yet you chose to ignore my warnings. Why is that?" Gaara purred at Hojo, reveling in the man's fear as he was held captive in a coffin of sand. "It's almost as if you had asked me to kill you outright--"

"NO PLEASE!!" The middle aged man shrieked, squirming in his sand entrapment. It pleased the redhead to no end, the man who had made his mate feel uncomfortable was about to receive that feeling tenfold.

Gaara reared his dominant hand back, and pushed it faster than his sand could follow. He was able to strike the man in the cheekbone with a bare fist, and even though it stung it was just as equally satisfying.

Hojo groaned with confusion, but before he could collect himself the redhead struck again, and again, and again.

The sand was trying to keep up, but wasn't fast enough. Every bare fist connected beautifully as he beat this horrid man in the face--

"Woah woah!" Kankuro stepped in then, grabbing at the pummeling arm to hold it back from laying down another strike. "Hey, I know it's great getting revenge, but if you kill him it'll be your head on the chopping block--"

"Just one more--" Gaara argued, but the puppet master shook his head.

"Gaara... he's already unconscious." The older brother pointed to the limp person within the redhead's sand, and sure enough Hojo was out for the count.

'Damn.' Gaara inwardly cursed, wanting nothing more than to continue punching the guy until he felt better. However, he had to admit that his knuckles were definitely going to bruise after this.

He loosened the sand, and watched as Hojo fell unceremoniously to the ground in a heap.

"Alright, who's next?" The redhead cracked his neck, and then his knuckles before shaking them out.

"Hebiki is unconscious too, remember? I handled that one--"

"Well, I'll just break his legs then..." Gaara snickered for a moment, but his face dropped when he saw a strange look on his brother's features. "What?"

"Dude, it's done. Go take care of your girl." Kankuro frowned for a moment, but then a sly smirk graced his face. "Fine, if you want to go pummel some faces be my guest. I'll go visit Sakura, and make sure she's okay."

"No, you will not." The redhead barked at his brother, getting a snicker in return.

"I specifically remember you telling me how to handle my women, that I needed a firm hand?" The puppet master grinned ear to ear, making the younger brother uneasy. "Well, right now Sakura needs a 'gentle' hand. Maybe a nice massage, and a steamy bubble bath--"

"Is that what you want written on your tombstone?" Gaara glared with every fiber of his being, but didn't expect the bellowing laughter that followed.

"I'm joking! Get a grip, man! I'm not going to fuck your girl, but you need to step up. I've never seen a woman look so god damn stunning, and your standing here looking for a fight rather than doing her proper! You need to get those priorities straight before she finds 'comfort' somewhere else." Kankuro scolded him thoroughly. The redhead went completely dumb, he knew his brother was right, but he was so pissed that he didn't want to admit it.

"Gaara, go find Sakura! Fucking hell--!"

"Alright!!! I'm going!!" Gaara barked ferociously before beginning his trek towards the living quarters. He heard Kankuro shout a few lewd well wishes, but it didn't soften his stomping feet as he moved angrily through the halls.

--- ... --- ... ---

She wasn't in his room, and that was a bad sign.

Gaara thought about leaving her to her own devices for the night, but then again he knew he had to make things right as soon as possible. With a groan he made his way to the harem room, but didn't bother knocking on the door before entering.

The room was empty, but her dress was on the floor. In fact, all of her beautiful items were strewn everywhere, most likely in a fit of anger.

A bubbling sound caught his attention, and he saw that the stone bath had been filled to the brim with hot water. Sakura was at the bottom of the tub, eyes shut tight as she let the air escape from her lungs.

He waited for her to come back up, but then noticed that she seemed to be making it a game to practically drown herself.

He reached in, unceremoniously grabbing her from both sides to yank her to the surface. She jolted, gasping for air as she struck him hard in the chest like an enraged feline.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!" She screamed with every strike, not bothering to open her eyes.

"Stop acting like a fool, and I will!" Gaara seethed, tightening his grip around her until she finally calmed. He eventually let her go with a sigh, and watched mournfully as she sank back down to shoulder level.

"What do you want? I'm busy--" Her tone was not appreciative.

"Sorry to take you away from your 'drowning', but I want you to know that those men will not approach you again." The redhead huffed stubbornly. She whipped around, wiping her vision of water while looking him over. She seemed almost confused by his appearance.

'She's expecting blood...' He finally guessed.

"I talked to them, isn't that a surprise?"

The pinkette's mouth hung open slightly, completely shocked by his testimony. However, he wasn't being completely honest.

"Alright, I threatened a little bit... well... okay more than threatened--"

"Gaara." Sakura spoke in a warning tone, forcing him to look off to the side shamefully to avoid her judging eyes. "Did you torture them?"

"Torture is a strong word, more like 'physically pressured'..." Gaara broke into a small smile for a moment, but then cleared his throat when he caught her glaring. "I didn't mangle them, and you can blame Kankuro for Hebiki's broken jaw."

She didn't seem amused, and he found himself scrambling.

"Just know that I took care of it, and if it happens again they know full well that I will come to kill them. I made that fact more than crystal clear." The redhead sighed as he sat on the edge of the tub. She was still glaring at him, as if expecting him to say something else...

'What does she want--?'

"Do you regret leaving me?" Sakura murmured softly as she brought her wet knees to her chin. Her words finally hit him, and he realized that he had forgotten something crucial.

"Yes, but I also wish that you could have relaxed a bit on the dance floor..." Gaara huffed stubbornly, but regretted it as soon as her face soured.

"Gaara, there were more than a few eyes as well as ears on us. I had to be careful--"

"They already assume that we've gone all the way, why does it even matter--?!"

"Because they think I'm your whore! Not your girlfriend, mate, partner, whatever you like to call it... they think that I am your... sex slave." The pinkette sighed, turning on the hot water faucet. While her words stung, he could also see now why she would be hesitant, but she also hated these people so why should it matter?

"Who cares what they think?! They are all useless wastes of space! Meaningless in the grand scheme of things! All that matters is how I feel for you!" The redhead started to argue vehemently, but never rose up from his spot on the edge of the basin.

"And how do you feel about me, Gaara? Do you love me?" The pinkette stared at the water, shocking him to the point where he couldn't respond right away.

'What am I to say to that?! "Yes, I love you. Please, be mine?" I can't say that to her!!' His mind was running a million miles per minute, and he felt every muscle in his body clench as he finally found some word vomit to spew at her.

"Don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to." Gaara huffed, looking away from her with a small flush. Then he heard the water shift, and two wet arms wrapped around his center as she molded herself to his back.

'Just say it. "I love you." It's not that difficult--!'

"You're getting me wet..." The redhead huffed, and inwardly slapped himself for his stupidity.

Suddenly he felt a great pull from her, and his whole world turned as she pulled him into the hot water. His whole body was able to go under, and for a second he flailed splashing water everywhere.

Finally he came back up to the surface with a snarl. It scared her enough to squeal, and attempt flight, but his reflexes were quick enough to snatch up her ankle to yank her back under the water.

They wrestled, fought, pushed and pulled until the bath turned into a stormy ocean. Somehow he was underneath her, wondering why she was sitting on his waist before she slammed his shoulders against the edge of the bath in frustration.

"Apologize!!!" Sakura barked. He bared his teeth at her in response, causing her fist to yank at his red hair. Pulling his head back painfully he gave a harsh groan of discomfort, but something about it was strangely erotic. He was beginning to like how her dominance felt.

"Say you're sorry!! For everything that happened!! For leaving me! For... not being nice to me..."

Her hand finally relaxed, and she leaned in next to him to rest her head on the side of the tub. He reached for the tap, turning it off with a long sigh of resignation. He knew he was going to have to humble himself to make this right again.

They remained silent until the water was finally still.

"Sakura... I'm sorry..." Gaara murmured softly before his head dipped into the crook of her neck. His arms wrapped around her possessively as he nuzzled against her. Her naked form felt so soft under his gripping hands. "I'm sorry. I've been too... neurotic. My desires have turned me into a shameful man..."

The redhead adjusted himself into a more proper sitting position, her body slid down until she was nestled sweetly in his lap. Her form felt small in his arms, almost breakable. Like he could snap her if he truly wanted to.

Only he didn't want to kill her, if anything he wished that all barriers between them would disappear. Had he just stripped down before all of this they could have been in a perfectly precarious situation.

Well... they still could be.

The pinkette pulled away to look at him in the face, and the hard blush that hit her cheeks was flattering as well as telling.

"While I do apologize for it, can you really blame me for wanting you? I've tasted you... touched you... I've become greedy for it, and you keep so much to yourself." Gaara's hands gripped at her bottom, and he pulled hard on her hips to grind with her. A small gasp escaped her, and it left him wanting more.

His desire finally reached a tipping point, it left him licking his lips before purring gently.

"I want to be inside you... I want to feel you around me."

Part 8

Sakura sank into the giant stone bathtub, she had no desire to stay in Gaara's room tonight so she went to the one room she hated most. Thankfully she brought her own clothes this time.

The pinkette sat in the water for a long while, and had already washed her hair. At the moment she only had conditioner sitting on it, but with a hard sigh she dunked her head under the surface. Her eyes clenching tight as she sunk to the bottom of the deep bath.

She held her breath for as long as possible, and even after she released it she continued to stay under for an even longer time. She already felt a bit dizzy, and wondered if it would be okay if she just drowned--

Something reached in, grabbing her from both sides to yank her to the surface. Once above, she inhaled with a sharp gasp before hitting the assailant repeatedly in the chest.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!!" She screamed with every strike, not bothering to open her eyes.

"Stop acting like a fool, and I will!" The rasped voice barked, and she didn't have to hear him speak twice to know it was Gaara.

Of course, who else could it be? He could never leave her alone to bathe.

"What do you want? I'm busy--"

"Sorry to take you away from your 'drowning', but I want you to know that those men will not approach you again." As that sentence sunk in she feared for the worst. She wiped her vision of water, expecting to see him covered in blood, but there was none to be found. He had lost the jacket and tie, and his knuckles seemed to be raw from hitting something. Other than that there was no carnage. "I talked to them, isn't that a surprise?"

The pinkette's mouth hung open slightly, completely shocked that he just admitted to not murdering in her name.

"Alright, I threatened a little bit... well... okay more than threatened--"

"Gaara." Sakura spoke in a warning tone, forcing him to look off to the side shamefully. "Did you torture them?"

"Torture is a strong word, more like 'physically pressured'..." Gaara broke into a small smile for a moment, but then cleared his throat when he caught her glaring. "I didn't mangle them, and you can blame Kankuro for Hebiki's broken jaw."

She waited in silence, anticipating an apology or a confession. His expression flittered a few times before continuing.

"Just know that I took care of it, and if it happens again they know full well that I will come to kill them. I made that fact more than crystal clear." The redhead sighed as he sat on the edge of the tub. She could tell that an apology was on the tip of his tongue, but his pride was preventing him from saying it.

"Do you regret leaving me?" Sakura murmured softly as she brought her wet knees to her chin. She hugged her legs for self comfort, yet it still didn't do much to ease her.

"Yes, but I also wish that you could have relaxed a bit on the dance floor..." Gaara huffed stubbornly, and it made her frustration skyrocket once more.

"Gaara, there were more than a few eyes as well as ears on us. I had to be careful--"

"They already assume that we've gone all the way, why does it even matter--?!"

"Because they think I'm your whore! Not your girlfriend, mate, partner, whatever you like to call it... they think that I am your... sex slave." The pinkette sighed, turning on the hot water faucet for extra added heat. The temperature was almost blistering already, but she was still feeling cold.

"Who cares what they think?! They are all useless wastes of space! Meaningless in the grand scheme of things! All that matters is how I feel for you!" The redhead started to argue vehemently, but never rose up from his spot on the edge of the basin.

"And how do you feel about me, Gaara? Do you love me?" The pinkette questioned him.

Why was she asking that, and why did it seem so sad coming from her lips? Perhaps she wished that he did, and that would be at least one person who truly loved her like she always wanted. Someone who wasn't already dead, or had left her behind.

Sakura wanted to be loved, but all of her relationships, even with friends and family, ended up failing in some way.

"Don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to." Gaara huffed, looking away from her with a small flush.

She was done with this. This weird dance with him was driving her insane. She reached up, hugging him around the waist feeling him tense.

She just needed to be comforted, she needed to feel close to someone. The desperation was there, and it was glaring.

"You're getting me wet..." The redhead turned his head further to huff, and she felt something snap inside her. With every ounce of her strength she yanked him into the large bath. His whole body was able to go under, and for a second he flailed splashing water everywhere.

He turned around while snarling at her like a vicious dog while she practically jumped out of the water. She squeaked when his hands dove under, pulling at her ankle until she was submerged.

Sakura splashed around, coughing and breathing fresh air as soon as she was able. Her fingers latched onto his wet shirt, tugging it away from his skin in able to regain balance. He started to snicker, and in another wave of anger she kicked at his legs, sweeping him back under the hot water.

The bath had turned into a wave pool, splashing out over the floor while more water was still being poured in by the faucet. Some how she got him completely under her, and she slammed him by the shoulders against the wall of the basin while she sat on his waist.

"Apologize!!!" Sakura barked, and when he bared his teeth at her she fisted her hand in his hair. Yanking his head back painfully he gave a harsh groan of discomfort. "Say you're sorry!! For everything that happened!! For leaving me! For... not being nice to me..."

Her hand relaxed, and her head rested next to his. She felt the coolness of the stone basin on her forehead, while his abdominal muscles seemed to tense under her thighs. She felt him reach for the tap, turning it off with a long sigh.

They remained silent until the water was finally still.

"Sakura... I'm sorry..." Gaara murmured softly before his head dipped into the crook of her neck. His arms wrapped around her possessively as he nuzzled against her. "I'm sorry. I've been too... neurotic. My desires have turned me into a shameful man..."

The redhead adjusted himself into a more proper sitting position, the water coming up just under their chests. Her body slid down him naturally, and she found herself quickly seated in his lap.

The pinkette pulled away from him to gauge his thoughts, and was shocked by the intense gaze he gave her. While his eyes were surrounded by darkness she could now see the water dripping sinfully off his lashes. His red hair sticking to his forehead in a piecey mess. He looked far too sultry to be real.

"While I do apologize for it, can you really blame me for wanting you? I've tasted you... touched you... I've become greedy for it, and you keep so much to yourself." Gaara's hands gripped at her bottom, and he pressed down hard in able to get her to rock against him. A small gasp escaped her lips, and she watched carefully as his eyes grew lidded. "I want to be inside you... I want to feel you around me--"

"Gaara, no. I'm not ready for that..." Sakura tried turning away from him, but one hand turned her chin while the other wrapped around her waist. His hips rose up to meet hers again, gaining a soft groan from both of them.

"I know that, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it." The redhead panted, his fingers gliding along the skin of her throat. He wrapped his hand around it gently, rubbing her jugular with his thumb. "Every day... I think about it. I try to imagine what it would feel like to be inside you, pleasuring you--"

"Stop this." The pinkette batted his hand away, but he pressed her hips down hard as he lifted his own. She shook violently, and gave a true moan while he looked on in wonder.

"That sound, make it again... I want to hear you beg for me." Gaara held onto her tightly, grinding against her. His mouth went in to suck at her neck, and it had her so overwhelmed that her voice went up in pitch.

Sakura could feel how hard he was through his pants, and how his muscles would tense every time he moved. She wanted to feel them directly under her fingertips.

Her hands traveled to his shirt, plucking each button one by one on the way down to reveal his smooth wet chest. There was no netting this time, just silky pale skin that was hot to the touch. He broke away from her to watch as she finished undoing his shirt, his eyes glazed over with an emotion that she knew all too well.

"You're so beautiful..." Water dripped hypnotically from his lips as he nearly whispered. The redhead's unfocused eyes devoured her nudity, but it seemed that just grinding against her was not enough to quench his thirst. "Let me have you... please--"

"No." The pinkette was stern, but continued her own war of rolling her hips against his while slipping her hands into his open shirt. Her fingers reveled in the feeling of his working muscles, making her whimper with each hard movement. His hands lowered between them, and she knew exactly what he was doing. "Gaara... I said no..."

The redhead ignored her, and suddenly she felt his hand adjust his length out of his pants. He moved his hips in a way that the underside of his erection could slide against her folds, leaving him practically breathless, and her surprised.

"I wont go in... but... it's so close now...." Gaara panted excitedly, his hands now going to her hips for his fingertips to dig into. "This is my 'something'... I hope that's okay with you..."

'Clever bastard.' Her eyes narrowed, but he was correct, since it wasn't penetration it didn't count... but it was cutting it close for sure.

However, she found herself more humored by it rather than upset. She locked her eyes onto him, and rolled her hips sinfully against his. A whine erupted out of her as she did it, and he seemed to follow with a moan of his own.

The water around them made small waves as they moved together. At times he would get a bit antsy and begin kissing her chest, neck, jaw, and then eventually her mouth. The longer they did it the more intense his actions got. Occasionally he'd give a hard squeeze to her bottom, suck hard at her breasts, and sometimes bite at her neck and shoulders. He panted heatedly against her flesh while starting to groan continuously from the attention.

All his hard work was beginning to become her undoing. She rode her naked hips with his with an intensity that she didn't realize she had in her. Her body was pulsing for more, urging her to take it further when she knew she couldn't. She took out her frustration on his chest, clawing down the muscles as they tensed under her touch. His hands ran up her sides to tangle into her wet hair while she leaned forward to suck lasciviously along his neck.

"Fuck--" Gaara cursed as his coal rimmed eyes fluttered shut, she could feel his heart pounding rapidly in his chest as he whimpered. Her fingers latched in his hair for a light tug, and got a heavy whine for her effort. His movements grew more frantic, and his arm around her waist was holding her bruisingly tight so he could rock his hips even harder.

She moaned on his neck, then turned her face up to his ear, mewling against the shell while he shivered with each needy cry.

"Gaara... please..." Sakura knew he would be weakened to it, and as good as this felt she did not want to finish this way. Instead she wanted to really feel, and witness him do it. While she whined loudly next to his ear she heard him give another curse, this time it sounded almost like desperate prayer.

'He's so close...' The butterflies in her stomach wouldn't stop fluttering, the more he cried out in desperation to climax the more she felt those cries pang through her body in the most shameful of ways.

"Sakura--!" The redhead tilted his head back with a pitched moan, his hips rolling against her as his voice continued to cry and break. His breathing was panicked, his body arched up for one last grind before he came hard. She felt like she might be riding a bronco with how much he writhed beneath her. It was so incredibly sexy that she almost ended up getting there herself, and was somewhat disappointed when she felt her veins pulse with the absence of orgasm; screaming at her for being too cruel.

Gaara held her to him fast, his erection still pushing out what had been building up between them. The pinkette leaned her face upwards to kiss at his neck, occasionally giving long licks to wick away the water that had gathered along his pulse. She was in a state of arousal that had her doing strange things at the moment.

The redhead seemed to notice, and even in his hazy state he ended up raising a curious naked brow at her.

"I... seem to be the only one who got there...huh?" It was a rhetorical question, but for some reason he ended up laughing at himself. "I'm not very good at this--"

"No... you're wonderful..." Sakura ran her hands up his chest, and into his hair to scratch playfully at his scalp. His eyes watched her as if she were the most interesting thing on the planet. "I held off... on purpose..."

"Why?" His hairless brows furrowed, and his hand came up to trace her bottom lip with his thumb.

"I wanted to watch you first." The pinkette felt a sense of shamelessness, as if any and all truths could be told at this moment. He blinked at her owlishly for a second before looking away.

"Well... I hope I didn't disappoint... " Gaara formed a shy pout with his lips, and a flattering blush had tinged his cheeks. She almost couldn't take it anymore, and began reaching for his hands.

"You didn't--" Sakura pulled his hands over her wet frame, watching his expression carefully as he managed to swallow hard. She pushed his right hand downwards, and in between her legs. "--but now I need you to touch me--"

"Sakura, wait." The redhead held his hand firmly away from her, and she almost cried at the lack of feeling. He began moving them, but all she wanted was for him to touch her. She started to throw a fit, whining and smacking at him while he lifted her up out of the water to sit on the edge of the tub. Her feet were still submerged, but the rest of her body was exposed to him. "Forgive me, but I'd like to take the second choice of 'somethings' for tonight--"

"That's not fair--!!" The pinkette went to argue at first, but he ignored her completely. Distracted in her anger she didn't realize what he was doing until his hands had parted her legs. He nestled his chest between them, wrapping his arms around her waist sweetly before kissing her stomach. "Wh-what...are you--??"

"I want to taste you properly." Gaara answered huskily, and she was shocked that he could already be so worked up after just finishing himself. His kisses went lower, and lower.... and lower....

Sakura gasped as he quickly put one thigh over his shoulder, and placed his mouth over her aching heat. She mewled in approval, fisting her hands into his red hair to pull firmly at the locks. He let out a heated breath that flayed against her wet folds, and a slight breathy laugh escaped him before he took a few lascivious licks.

The pinkette whined, her figure started to rock itself shamelessly in ecstasy while he lapped at her. The occasional sucking had her throwing her head back in a hard pant while scraping her nails against his scalp.

The more he did it, the more strongly she'd react. She was already so worked up when he got to her that it didn't take long to get her to a steady point.

Sakura had never felt like this before, it was nothing like anything she could do to herself, and it was so intense that it had her trembling with the need to finish. There was no pain in the friction, no discomfort, only pleasure. As his mouth became more ardent she felt her legs clinging to his back while his fingers dug into her hips and thighs.

"...Gaara... yes...." The pinkette whined, her heart starting to race as her orgasm was fast approaching. Her body was shivering with need, and he answered by licking her as firmly as he could. When her hips went to buck in pleasure his strong hands held her steady, allowing her to have that fight that she needed for a great climax.

It was like a gunshot, loud and fast. Her hands pulled hard at his hair, and he groaned against her folds as he tried to keep up. She gave out high moan that quickly turned into a scream of ecstasy. Her blood pounded so hard that it was all she could hear in her ears. Her heartbeat was the only thing left of her before she took a much needed sharp inhale, coming back down into her body once more as oversensitivity took over.

He was still going, and as much as she liked his enthusiasm her body just couldn't handle that much attention.

"Stop!" Sakura squealed, her legs trying desperately to close even though he was still there, however his grip on her was great enough that she did not succeed.

Gaara pulled away from her with a lidded expression at first, but then a genuine smile made it's way across his features. He ended up chuckling as her expression grew more flustered.

"H-hey!! Stop laughing--!"

"I'm sorry... you looked so cute..." The redhead panted slightly, and ended up licking his lips which only made her more bashful. "Did I do it right?"

The flush that took over her whole body was intense, she made a weird expression before hiding her face in her hands.

'Oh my god... I was screaming!!'

"Sakura? I asked you a question..." She felt his hands go back to her thighs, steadily creeping up her frame to her waist, but she refused to look at him. "Did I do it right? Or perhaps I should try again--?"

"You did fine!!! Go away!!" The pinkette shrieked at him before swinging her legs out of the tub. She quickly grabbed the towel next to her, and wrapped herself protectively in it. However, it didn't protect her from his laughter.

"There's no need to be embarrassed." He teased. She heard water sloshing around, as well as a drain being pulled. Then one by one his soaked clothing seemed to be plopped over the edge of the tub. She jumped when she saw it, and scurried over to the bed in the center of the room. Acting quickly she hid deep under the blankets, encasing herself in darkness.

Sakura knew he would follow her there, but at the moment she didn't want him to see her face, or tease her for how she had reacted.

"Sakura... Sakura... in spring sky as far as I see... is it mist or is it a cloud?~" Gaara sang her name in a familiar song, and hummed the rest of the tune as he approached. The edge of the blanket lifted, so she huddled further down. "There you are, cherry blossom, no more hiding--"

"Go away!!" The pinkette pouted, and his brow furrowed before a sly smirk graced his features.

"Not a chance, not after hearing you scream like that..." His tone grew dark, sultry even. "How dare you tease me, and then hide away."

Suddenly he was crawling under those very same blankets as her, and for a moment it seemed that he was not dressed.

No, he truly was not dressed. At all.

"Stop!!" Sakura shrieked as she felt him pawing at her in the dark. Her body was being pulled to him easily on the silk sheets. His mouth was on her flesh in an instant, kissing along her chest and up her neck. She didn't know why, but her hands clawed sinfully along his back making him drag his teeth down her jugular.

"I want to hear it again... say my name... scream it..." The redhead spoke huskily, tilting his mouth towards her ear to purr. "I am starving, and my appetite is insatiable--"

"Gaara, please! I can't take any more, it's too much!" The pinkette tried moving away from him once more, but his hands pulled hard on her hips bringing her under him. With one arm he held himself over her, and with the other his hand immediately found it's way between her legs. "Gaara!! Stop--!!"

"Ssh... hush now, I'm going to do something a little different--"

"It's going to hurt!!!" Sakura kicked her legs, and only recieved a breathy laugh for her effort. The feeling of his lips against the shell of her ear had her breaking out in goosebumps all over her body.

"You really think I would be so cruel? I have only showed you gentleness despite the fact that I have an intense desire for you." Gaara's words were whispered, but the meaning had her feeling a bit guilty. She began to relax, and a small sigh escaped him. "Yes... just relax..."

His fingers stroked gently at her wet heat, humming in approval over the state of arousal that she still seemed to be in. Suddenly her folds started to part, and she felt him slowly insert two digits inside of her.

Sakura was not completely foreign to this, as she had grown curious a few times, but having someone else do it had her tensing up almost painfully. As he moved his fingers out slowly she felt her sheath wanting to hold him in despite the fact that she wasn't sure if she wanted him there in the first place.

"You're burning up inside, I can feel it." The redhead panted excitedly against the shell of her ear. She squirmed slightly with shame, placing her hands over her face even though the blankets already hid them from the light. When he pumped them again she felt a familiar sensation, but it was also different. The fingers that were invasive before were now filling her with a pleasure that she hadn't felt before, a pleasure she was slowly starting to warm up to. "Is this okay?"

Although he asked a perfectly normal question she had to turn her face away, and this seemed to not sit well him. He removed his hand, and then flipped back the blanket to blind her. She felt as if it were agony, being teased in such a way only for him to stop so abruptly. He glared down at her, and it made the pinkette feel small.

"I wont do it unless you tell me that you want it." Gaara scolded her, and while she would usually feel upset by it for some reason she found it somewhat alluring tonight. "Say it."

The redhead was impatient, dark, and dominant. It was turning her on, and surprising her at the same time. She maneuvered her body into more relaxed position while keeping her eyes on his, and she let herself become vulnerable underneath him. Yet all it did was make him click his tongue.

"No, while I do appreciate this I still asked you a question. You will give me a verbal answer--"

Sakura whined like a spoiled child who refused to ask for something politely, and it got the redhead to raise a hairless brow at her display. A small smirk tried to make it's way across his lips, but he quickly narrowed his eyes instead.

"Say you want it." When she shook her head his voice lowered to a soft growl. "Say it."

Her heart was pounding so fast, and truth be told she wanted him to do it more than anything, but she didn't want to have that choice. She didn't want to come off as some sort of sex crazed nympho--

"Alright, I'm leaving." Gaara's lips formed a tight line as he began to move away from her, but before she knew it she was grabbing at one of his arms desperately. That tight line quickly formed a devilish smirk that he unfortunately could not hold back. "Say it then."

"I want it." The pinkette's voice came out small, but it seemed to have a good effect on him. She could see him breathe hard at her admission, goosebumps showing up on his skin while a shiver went down his spine.

"...Say it again." The redhead growled as he turned towards her, an animalistic instinct washing over him quickly. She could practically feel the heat radiating off of him.

"I want it." Sakura spoke more confidently, and that same shiver rippled through him as he pressed his mouth over hers.

She could taste a hint of herself on his lips, but it didn't bother her in the slightest. If anything it had her burning up at the reminder of what he had done to her. He pressed her back down onto the mattress, and held one knee up to her chest while his hand stroked her exposed sex. She gave a needy whimper, and he answered by slipping in two fingers. It was more accepted this time, and the more she relaxed into it the better it felt.

Gaara moved back slightly to get a view of what he was doing, and it was enough to make her squeak in bashfulness. However, the tone quickly changed as he began working a firm and steady pace on her. Forgetting her shyness she started to writhe in pleasure, her body moving like a snake as his digits pumped into her.

"You're getting so tight..." The redhead chuckled slightly, and although she felt thoroughly flustered by it the only thing she could do was moan for him. Her emotions didn't seem to matter anymore as her natural instinct took over. "Does it feel good?"

The pinkette mewled in answer, rolling her hips with his working hand finding it to be just that much sweeter. His eyes roamed her frame greedily, enjoying every second of pleasurable torture he placed on her. Soon he was hovering over her again, leaning in for a kiss that she was far too eager for.

Sakura moaned against his lips, occasionally panting his name in between rough kisses that took her breath away. Her nails raked against his skin, carving her way down his lean hips and toned thighs leaving him trembling underneath. When her hand accidentally ran across his groin she felt his hardened length, and grabbed hold of it with an almost painful firmness.

"Stop being...sneaky..." Gaara panted in between desperate kisses, and decided that moving faster was the best option. She tried stroking him, but was greatly distracted by what he was doing to her. Her head shot back as her body arched with his hand, stringing her tight like bow's string. She was too close to function properly anymore, so holding him tightly was all she could do. "That's it... scream for me--"

As he pushed harder she felt herself clenching around his fingers, crying out wildly from high pitches to low ones. Her body was breaking out into a sweat as the noises heaved from her throat, slowly causing her vocals to rasp from overuse. Her pink hair clung to her face as she rolled her head in pleasure. Just when she thought it was too much his hand began to slow, and she regained the breath that she had lost during the intense moment.

The redhead pulled back, chuckling slightly in a breathy tone while his eyes continued to study her. As she came back to reality she looked over to him, her heart still racing from what he had done to her.

"I've been wanting to do that all night." Gaara laughed genuinely then, and his smile was far too beautiful.

That same smile that he only ever showed to her. It was a gift, and she wanted to return it.

"You're too stunning for your own good, I was completely enchanted when you walked out of the bathroom in that dress." His eyes closed for a moment, as if he were remembering it fondly.

"Is that so?" She didn't know why at first that she was suddenly crawling over to him, and it didn't become apparent until she had placed her hands on his hips that she actually had a plan in mind. It was spontaneous, but she didn't care, this would be her 'something' for the night. "You didn't think about yourself... at all?"

His eyes opened as her hands stroked at his skin, they darted around her frame curiously before he bit his lower lip for just the briefest of moments.

"I tried not to... I'd just chase you away with the things I'd want to take from you--"

"Such a martyr, the demon that loves only itself is a total lie isn't it?" Sakura smirked, taking his erection into her hand to tease it with feathery strokes. He let out a slow, yet shaking breath, his eyes starting glaze from the second she had reached for it. "So, oh selfless one, I guess you wouldn't be interested in me putting this inside myself, would you?"

"Don't be cruel." Gaara narrowed his eyes in warning, but it only spurred her on.

"Are you sure? You could try begging for it. Who knows, maybe I'm in a giving mood--"

"You already told me 'no', and I already prepared myself for that rejection." The redhead snipped, his temper started to flare just the slightest. It seemed he was not one to be teased, even lightly.

"I didn't mean 'that' way. You assume there is only one part of me that can take you..." The pinkette lowered her head for a moment, and licked the underside of his length as his breath hitched. His breathing from then on out was a forceful pant.

"Do you want it?" She purred.

"Yes." There was no waiting, no thinking involved, he simply put his desire out there on the table. She snickered for a moment at his eagerness, finding him to be fairly innocent yet struck with a carnal need.

"What's the magic word?" Sakura giggled looking up at him from below his waist. His eyes unfocused, became lidded, and glazed over with lust as his lips parted.

"Please..." He breathed the word, and it made every hair raise up on her body.

"With sugar on top-" She gave a long lascivious lick before continuing. "-And ice cream in the middle?"

The redhead blinked at her for a moment as his cheeks began to flush. He looked like he might faint from the attention.

"Yes... sugar... ice cream... middle..." Gaara's words came out choppy, as if he forgot what language was. She full on laughed at his display, but decided against teasing him any further.

The second the pinkette wrapped her lips around him he let out a groan of relief. His fingers tangled in her pink hair, but he was incredibly gentle with her scalp.

She remembered things that Ino had told her about her 'oral' encounters. There was to be no touching from her teeth, that was a given. The tip was the most sensitive part, that was second. Last, but certainly not least, the penis was not the only part that was to receive attention; the testicles were just as important.

It was funny how other women would rave about their talent in merely placing their mouth on a man, and calling it a day, but Ino had made sure that Sakura knew that there was a lot more to it than that.

As the redhead let out a rather youthful whimper she seized that moment to cup him gently in her hand. The fingers in her hair clenched while he gave a full moan.

He was far too precious, sounding like a young teenager during his first sexual experience. She reveled in the idea that she was tainting him in some way; tainting this 'monstrous' man who always seemed to have blood drenched in his clothes.

Sakura was enjoying herself, and that scared her a little bit, but just because it was new and odd didn't mean that she would stop herself. That would be true cruelty.

"Sakura..." Gaara whimpered, his hands clenching and opening in her hair. As she swirled her tongue around his tip she witnessed him not only cry out harshly, but tremble as well. He was shivering hard, and his skin started to sweat while he gave shaking breaths. He would whisper her name, whimper it, and cry it out like a mantra. It left her feeling high with how she could bring such a 'frightening' person literally to their knees. "S-stop... please..."

She didn't, she knew why he wanted her to do so, but she didn't care. His hands tried to push her away, weakly one might add, but she stayed regardless of the fact that he was also trying to pull her hair. She became more vigorous, and soon his hips were rising up to meet her with each bob of her head.

"No! Stop!" The redhead cried out, but after it was said she went harder, and she could practically feel the shock go through him as he groaned loudly through his teeth. She felt him start to pulse on her tongue, and as a wave of bitter salt splashed into her mouth she quickly tried gulping it back. It wasn't as fluid as she would have liked, but it wasn't awful either.

The fingers in her hair loosened, and all the muscles that were clenched up relaxed almost instantly. The only sound left was that of his panting breath. Pulling away she wiped her mouth smartly, giving him a rather smug smile.

"Did I do it right?" Sakura teased, and while he did blush he also got a tired laugh out of it.

"I think so... however we could try again--" Gaara said with a exhausted smile, and she balked at his suggestion.

"Stop getting greedy!" She smacked at his thigh, gaining another laugh for her trouble. "How about instead of acting like an ass you can thank me with a glass of water?"

As much as it made him wince he also couldn't stop his snickers. While she turned to lay on her stomach she felt the bed move as he got up to do the exact thing she had told him to do.

'He's such a puppy.' The pinkette giggled inwardly, thinking how he could literally eat from the palm of her hand while also licking it completely clean. 'Oh, boy... He's got a talent for that too...'

"Here." The redhead was now holding out a glass of water for her, and surprisingly wearing a nice black robe. When she looked him over questioningly his cheeks managed to tinge pink. "Um... it was by the closet... I can get you one too--"

"No need." Sakura smirked as she rolled onto her side, taking a long drink of the water he had given her. From the corner of her eye she could tell he was studying her naked form, and for some reason she liked the attention. She pulled the drink away from her lips to place it down on the nightstand before truly staring him down. "Well, thank you for such a wonderful evening. You were a fantastic bed partner, but now I must bid you farewell. The door is that way."

She pointed to the door, and gave him a sinister smile, which he returned in kind.

"Kicking me out--?"

"Well, that's what you're here for right? To please me? You've done your job well enough." The pinkette looked at her nails, pretending to be aloof with him just to get under his skin. It seemed to be working for the most part. "Oh, I forgot to ask what your going rates are-- AAACK!!"

With a ferocious snarl he tackled her onto the bed, and while it surprised her she couldn't help but laugh hysterically as he growled against her neck. He seemed to understand the joke, and it put a nice spin on things.

"Back! Back I say! You little beastie--!" Sakura almost snorted as she smacked at his shoulder, but he stopped abruptly to glare at her.

"I am not 'little'." Gaara spoke in a low tone that sent pleasant shivers down her spine. She lowered her lashes for him, and bit her lip.

"You're right. You're a big, intimidating, enticing, and handsome beast." The pinkette purred, and as he tried to inch closer she proceeded to crawl away.

"Flattery will get you nowhere--" He smirked.

"Wrong! You're already trying to paw at me again, you're incorrigible." Sakura turned her head defiantly, but it only gave him an opening to kiss her neck. "Hey! I'm tired--!"

"Hello, tired. I'm incorrigible, it's a pleasure to meet you." Gaara bit down, and when she jolted his hands gripped greedily around her frame. She smacked at his shoulder a few times, receiving a snicker against her skin.

"I can't believe you just made that joke!" The pinkette scoffed, but quickly became putty in his roaming hands while he worked his magic on her neck. It had her humming, and relaxing in his strong arms. "I'm about to fall asleep..."

"Let me sleep next to you then..." The redhead's heated breath flayed against her skin, and his weight on top of her was more than welcome.

"You really shouldn't." Sakura pet his hair while he kissed down her collar to the center of her chest, it was the place where he finally rested his head despite the fact of it being bare.

"I know...but I still want to." Gaara's arms gripped her possessively, and her heart began to sink thinking about his predicament.

"Have you talked to 'him' about it? You two talk often don't you?" The pinkette kept her tone gentle, as she was prodding at a very delicate topic. He nuzzled further against her chest at first before giving a tired sigh.

"It's like talking to a wall. He is stuck in his ways thinking that everyone must die--"

"Including me?" Sakura blurted, and felt stupid for asking such a thing. When he didn't answer she felt that she had recieved her answer.

"I don't... like to talk about you with him... but I can tell he likes you. However, I don't want to share you with him..." The redhead's hold tightened, but his words confused her.

"What do you mean by 'share'?" She asked carefully, and when he stiffened she felt a bit nervous to know the answer.

"We share a body... he knows what I know... and can feel what I feel.... I believe this is why he likes you." Gaara almost whispered, then some sort of desperation came over him. It inspired him to move upwards to hold her more protectively. She could feel a sense of anxiety wash over him as he held her. "He made me an offer recently... after our first... whatever you'd like to call it, and I don't think the risk is worth it."

"He made an offer? Like what?" The pinkette was already suspicious of the being inside of him, and felt her caution become validated rather quickly.

"Time with you... in exchange for the first peaceful night's sleep I've ever had in my entire life." The redhead sighed before shaking his head. "I'd rather die of insomnia--"

"You should accept it." Sakura stated calmly, and he instantly pushed himself up to truly look at her face. He looked absolutely horrified.

"You can't be serious! He would kill you--!"

"If he wanted to kill me he obviously wouldn't care enough to want my company." The pinkette deadpanned while he gaped at her for even trying to defend the beast.

"And what if it's something more sinister than that?" Gaara narrowed his eyes in warning, jealousy clear on his features. While she was worried about something like that she also knew that any chance he had at getting some rest was probably worth it.

She'd probably have to bargain with this one, and with the last card in her hand no less. However, she desperately wanted to give him some sort of peace... so handing over her final ace seemed only natural.

No, it was more than that. She honestly just wanted him to have it.

"You can take the bargain... after you've had me for yourself..." Sakura said it in a small voice, but it made a great enough impact on him that he started to forget how to breathe.

"Sakura... I... I can't do that--"

"Oh don't lie, you know you'd fuck me in a heartbeat." The pinkette scoffed, and while the idea seemed to dawn on him with a fierce reddening of his cheeks he also seemed to shake the thought literally from his head.

"I...no---wait... yes... I mean... yes. Yes, I would, but it's not right for me to feed you to a monster just so I can actually sleep for once." While he seemed a bit mixed in his emotions she could see the weariness in his eyes. He just... looked so exhausted. The idea must have been haunting him for so long now...

She'd have to force him to do this somehow, yet an idea came to her quicker than she thought.

"Gaara, I give you full permission to have sex with me whenever you so choose, but afterwards you will answer to the one tail's demands. Then you can finally get the rest you deserve." Sakura laid out the bargain for him, and he merely stared at her as if she were insane.

"You can't be... serious--"

"Deadly serious. I'll meet him head on for you, I'm not scared of him."

That was a filthy lie, ever since that day in the forest she was scared shitless of the bijuu that lived inside of him. The sand beast had almost killed her, yet she was sure that Gaara had somehow made it so she could live another day. She truly believed that deep in her heart.

His face started to twist, and his jealousy seemed to erupt.

"Then I guess I'll just stay abstinent!" The redhead barked at her. She frowned, thinking that he was blowing this out of proportion.

However, there were sneakier ways to get what she wanted, and she decided to use what she had at full force.

"That's too bad... I was really looking forward to it." The pinkette stretched languidly underneath him, and just like that she had his undivided attention. "After the amount of talent you've shown me tonight I'm positive that you must be a complete animal in the bedroom. I guess I'll just have to use my imagination--"

"Stop teasing." Gaara growled at her, making her raise a well groomed brow at him.

"What am I going to do? I don't think I've ever wanted anyone so badly in my life..." Her hands wandered her own body in the most sensual of ways, making him stare at her with a hungry expression. "Don't you want me too?"

As she reached up to stroke his cheek he leaned his head into her hand before kissing longingly against her wrist. His eyes were dark with desire, holding an almost bitter expression.

"You're so cruel..." The redhead murmured against the inside of her delicate wrist. She watched in wonder as he inhaled her scent while growing more enraged. "Why don't you ever shut up? I'm so sick of your twisted bullshit--"

"Excuse me?" Sakura furrowed her brow both in insult, and confusion. Her words seemed to wake him up to his odd behavior, cueing a horrified look in his eyes as he realized that he had spoken aloud.

"N-not you! I'm sorry, I wasn't talking to you!" Gaara seemed truly upset by this, and while she loved to watch him act like an innocent little boy she didn't truly want to cause him any harm. She reached up to soothe him, scratching with a feather light touch along his nape.

"Ah, I see. Well, if you're going to talk to him out loud can you make sure to let me know that its 'him' you're talking to, and not me?" The pinkette snickered while another blush graced his cheeks, although this time it was merely out of awkwardness.

The redhead couldn't seem to speak, and her only confirmation was a quick and awkward nod of his head. He was too distraught to tease any further, so she decided to end their discussion for the night.

"So, am I sleeping here? Or downstairs?" Sakura smiled warmly at him, and he blinked as if he were stunned by her somehow.

"I don't want you to get dressed..." Gaara started pouting, causing her to roll her eyes at him.

"Oh my god, you are such a brat!" While her words sounded mean, the little smile that went with them told him that she was merely playing. He seemed to take it well enough, managing a smirk if his own. She rolled over, and felt him cuddle up close to her. With a wave of his hand the sand in his gourd by the bed started to move at his will, going around to each oil lamp to douse them for the night.

Sakura watched curiously as the grains sparkled in the moonlight, wondering how he could get them to move on a chakra level. She felt him nuzzle the back of her neck, and breathe slowly. It were as if he was truly about to go to sleep, although she knew better than that.

"Goodnight, Sakura." The redhead whispered as he clung to her naked frame under the sheets. She moved even closer to him.

"Goodnight, Gaara, sleep well--"

"You know I wont." He huffed, and it was cute enough to make her laugh.

"I know, but I can still wish for it, right?" The pinkette hummed before truly feeling fatigue hit her, and she started to drift to the sounds of his calm breathing.

"I love you."

She could have sworn she heard him say that, but she wasn't completely certain. Perhaps it was only a dream.

Yet, it warmed her heart in places that she thought were completely destroyed. Places she could have sworn were broken inside of her.

She wished it were real.

[wofuru]

Voltron legendary defender ask game

~Voltron Legendary Defender Ask Game~

Tagged by my lovely lady @seiteki9​  (Yes you are love, don’t even try to tell me otherwise)

How did you discover the show?

Well ... I’m an illustrator and have been selling for years in conventions with my gf @seiteki9​. Along the line (I think when S2 came out) I heard about it by clients who asked me for goodies from VLD. It took a while before I checked the serie because I thought it was juste another mecha anime and I’m usually not into these really. So at some point, since it is on netflix and all AND when I learned it was made by the same studio as Avatar last air bender ... I gave it a shot. And oh boy did I fell head 1st into this show. Sheith is my life now, thank you. 

Was it love at first sight or did it take you a while to get into the the show?

1st sigh. I think it took .... 10 minutes. I fell in when Keith rescue Shiro and makes that so tender expression recognizing him on the table and unconscious. 

Do you have a favorite episode?

S2 ep 1 is definitely among my favorite ones that’s for sure (Gee guess why huh) and I think the trial at the blades of mormora would be there to. But it is hard to decide, this serie is so amazing in general and also so much sheith moments >_< 

Do you have a favorite Paladin?

Shiro, yeah, totally. Keith in close 2nd. 

Do you have a favorite Lion? (If it’s different from your fav Paladin, why?)

As dork as I am, I would say Black. Not because she is the head, but also because of the evolution between her and Shiro and the whole complicated relation/story with Zarkon. 

Do you have a favorite Villian?

Hmm ... I think that would be Zarkon. I love his tragic story. How he came to be, but also how much of a dangerous man he became. What goes around him and also we know where he’s going. 

Do you have a favorite Alien Race? (Recurring and/or minor)

I do really love the galras in all their glory and bad sides to. I mean they are mostly brawl over brains you know. Their designs are all so interesting, but also I love how their mind set has been presented so far (since we don’t know much about the culture yet). I think in 2nd would be the balmerans (I’m not sure who it’s written). They look so awesome and their story is so sad and interesting at the same time. 

Favorite side / other character(s)- Rebels, Generals, Blade of Marmora, Garrison, etc?

I love Shay and Narti ( ;_; ) so much. 

Also Lieutenant Ozar looks like such an interesting character (yeah I know you guys are wondering who’s that lol) 

How/Why did you join the fandom?

Falling face 1st into Sheith, I looked around for some fanart here on tumblr and it slowly went from there. I decided to join Sheith Big Bang that is currently on going and it’s been really fun so far. 

Care to share your favorite headcanon?

I really like the basic idea of Sheith pre-kerberos (not being a couple back then at all tho) where Keith was like this teen kid wrecking havoc everywhere for no reason. Not bullying people, but just losing his shit every so often because he was angry all the time and then Shiro met him and decided to take him under his wing, to get in his life even if he had to force his way in / tame the beast and just believe in him and giving him what any human deserves which is a sense of belonging somewhere and be loved for who they are. 

What do you think is the best part of the show?

The characters. Their lives, how they are. All the little details we can catch on all the time, but also these elements in the show that you just don’t see anywhere. I love that they made it so we could see representation and good values teaching to people seeing this serie. How a character can be so cool and not just a comic relief while being an overweight character OR a straight guy that is someone who takes care so much of his own body and appearance without it being weird OR a genderless character (or someone who doesn’t care) that despite her size is such a kickass character OR you know someone who’s so strong for everyone all the time but with such deep scars that you wonder how he keeps going OR a child who was abandoned again and again and how his life goes on. And I’m not talking about the multicultural elements (Allura not being just this pompom stereotyped girl but a woman of color with such an big temper while being such a variety of things and stories). Oh, and please, myore love for Coran people, he’s or favorite uncle. 

Any hopes and wishes for future episodes / seasons?

Please Shiro be safe, come back to us and PLEASE be the black paladin again while Keith comes back to red. I loved the old roster of paladin (no offense allura, I just loved you more while being the pilot of the castle and a diplomat and now an alchemist O_O !). I’m so praying they don’t end up doing like in the old series where Shiro just becomes the blue paladin because he’s emotionally compromised or whatnot and disappear in the background like being the black paladin is the highest title, which no ... it’s not the case and its not a competition. Also poor shiro worked so hard to bond with his lion to just ... be thrown away again ?! 

Do you think you’ll stick it out until the end of the show?

Oh I will. If my worse fears come to be, I’ll cry my world, but I’ll stick to the end. 

Tag your friends or someone you want to get to know better: @escaleamare  ?? (no pressure lol)

[itsclowreedsfault]

2017 Writing Round-Up

Total year-long word count: 87,840 (holy fuck)

Word count by fandom:

Mystic Messenger » 6,830 Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle » 2,022 Bungou Stray Dogs » 1,862 Yuri!!! On Ice » 169 Boku no Hero Academia » 76,957

Fics completed: >1k words

mosaic » yoi, viktuuri, angst Untitled Drabble » mysme, zen/mc, fluff Untitled Drabble #2 » mysme, v/mc, fluff something more » mysme, juminv, fluff  all our colors » bnha, todobaku, soulmate au Kitchen Disaster » bnha, todobaku, fluff Heroes » bnha, todobaku, hurt/comfort Shooting Stars » bnha, todobaku, fluff Your Hand in Mine » bnha, todobaku, angst Untitled Drabble #3 » bnha, todobaku, angst Untitled Drabble #4 » bnha, todobaku, fluff Untitled Drabble #5 » bnha, todobaku affection » bnha, todobaku, fluff

1k-5k

Kingdom of Words » mysme, saeran/mc, soulmate au a secret among the flowers » mysme, juminv, fantasy au Never Enough » trc, kurofai, angst Shatter » bsd, soukoku, angst Operation: TodoBaku? » bnha, todobaku  Unravel » bnha, todobaku, fantasy au Baby, It’s Cold Outside » bnha, todobaku, fluff It Started With a Game » bnha, todobaku Just Listen » bnha, todokiri, hurt/comfort and I know you’ll have my back » bnha, todobaku, fantasy au When It Snows » bnha, todobaku, fluff Of Movie Nights and Smashed Bowls » bnha, todobaku, roommates/childhood friends au

5k-10k what really matters » bnha, todobaku, soulmate au  The One I Want » bnha, bakukami

10k+

Silver Lining » bnha, todobaku, modern fantasy au Wandering Wolf » bnha, todobaku, fantasy au

Works-in-progress:

everything we (never) planned » bnha, todobaku, urban fantasy/fake dating au

This year I wrote and posted:

31 fics, 13 of which are drabbles (under 1k),15 one-shots, 1 completed multichapter, 1 wip (ongoing), and 1 wip (abandoned)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?

I wrote so much more than I even thought I could write, no kidding. I’m still thinking about that word count and crying.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?

Considering that in January I hadn’t even watched the anime/read the manga, BNHA! I never thought I’d get this invested in the series and more especifically, in TodoBaku (but I’m glad I did!).

What's your own favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?

I will never stop being proud of Wandering Wolf. Writing it was a really comforting yet challenging experience, and it holds a special place in my heart.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

So many! Especially ever since I started writing TodoBaku, I started aiming for longer fics with a little more plot, instead of the moment-focused drabbles I was used to. It has helped me become more confident in going deeper into the character’s feelings, exploring how they react to different situations; it’s also been a challenge to figure out pacing and worldbuilding. Through many mistakes, I feel like I’m slowly learning to improve on those things.

I tried writing smut, something I had told myself I’d never attempt again lol And I feel like my attempts actually turned out half-decent, motivating me to keep trying to improve on that aspect of my writing.

I gave another try at multichapters, too, and managed to finish my first fic of that kind that was being posted as I wrote it, and not all chapters at once like I did for the AkaYona Big Bang last year. It was a journey that took months but I never felt more fulfilled than when I finally posted that last chapter. 

Your best story of this year:

Wandering Wolf. I feel like my writing was at its best for this fic.

Your most popular story of this year:

what really matters (considering hits/kudos on AO3). I actually never expected this story to be so popular, especially because it was only my second try this year at writing something with an Explicit rating, but I’m glad people seem to enjoy it so much!

Story of yours most under-appreciated by the universe, in your opinion:

Huuh, I guess Shatter, my Soukoku fic. I’m really proud of that one but it barely got any attention (maybe because it’s the only story I’ve ever written for the BSD fandom lol).

Most fun story to write:

Operation: TodoBaku?. I had so much fun writing TodoBaku from the perspective of other Class 1-A students, as well as coming up with their shenanigans and trying to fit some humor into it :’)

Story with the single sexiest moment:

Silver Lining, when Bakugou is touching Todoroki’s wings for the first time. I just have a thing for characters with wings, okay. 

Most "Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story:

I don’t... think there was anything like that? My stuff is pretty tame lol worst thing I wrote was MCD and there wasn’t even any detailed description of anything.

Story that shifted your own perceptions of the characters:

Hmm, Wandering Wolf, I think. I had to do a lot of thinking to fit the characters into the universe I created, and then make them develop as the story progressed - and that involved thinking a lot about Todoroki and Bakugou’s core traits and what makes them who they are regardless of canon.  

Hardest story to write:

My current wip - everything we (never) planned. It’s hard to make my writing style work with the genre and it’s a more complicated plot than what I usually write, so that has been a challenge, too. I’m having fun with it though!

Biggest disappointment:

Your Hand in Mine. It wasn’t a disappointment as in I didn’t manage to convey what I wanted - the fic turned out exactly like I’d planned - but I just regretted ever writing it. I’ve even thought of deleting it multiple times, but decided not to. 

Biggest surprise:

Silver Lining and Wandering Wolf! I was so excited with both AUs, and really afraid I wouldn’t be able to do them justice. But both stories developed so well and writing them was so much fun, I’m very proud of the finished works. And they were both extremely well received by my readers, which was the biggest surprise of all and made me incredibly happy.

Most unintentionally telling story:

Just Listen. The entire thing is me projecting myself onto Kirishima lmao

Favorite opening line(s):

“There's a myth about the forest that is hidden among the distant mountains.” - from Wandering Wolf

Favorite closing line(s):

“But the thing is - not everything about a myth is true, is it?” - from Wandering Wolf

Favorite 5 line(s) from anywhere:

This would get pretty long and coincidently I chose exactly 5 favorite lines for the favorite quotes prompt of Fic Writers Week so I’ll just link to that post here.

Top 5 scenes from anywhere you would choose to have illustrated:

» Bakugou holding Todoroki in the forest as he disappears, from Unravel. » Bakugou touching Todoroki’s wings for the first time, from Silver Lining. » Bakugou and Todoroki sitting side-by-side in the snow, from When It Snows. » Bakugou holding Todoroki’s hands to calm him down, from Chapter 4 of Wandering Wolf. » Chuuya playing the piano, from Shatter.

Fic-writing goals for next year:

Finish my current WIP and my ideas for BakuTodo Week. Do my best to write a great piece for a zine (!!) I got accepted into. I also have a rather ambitious project I want to work on that will involve mixing my writing with graphic design.

And this is more of a personal goal, though it’s still related to fic writing so I suppose it counts: stop obsessively comparing myself to others and hating myself and my writing whenever I don’t measure up to them. Stop depending on numbers so much. It’s something that’s been hindering me a lot these past few months to the point where I have to force myself to write because it’s almost like constant writer’s block.

Despite the ups and downs, I feel like this was an amazing writing year for me. I’m proud of what I achieved with my writing, and it has improved a lot even if I have a hard time believing that most of the time. I’m thankful for all the support I’ve gotten and for you lovely readers who always interact with me or my content in one way or another. Y’all are the real MVPs ❤

[snow-okki]

Messiah Akatsuki ‘LIVE’ reaction 1/?

There’s no meaning whatsoever to make a review/impression since Akatsuki’s already an old news by now, but I’m making it anyway.

Why?

BECAUSE I’VE WATCHED THE FREAKING THING FOR ALMOST 29 TIMES.

So you see, I have this super slow internet connection that basically finishes downloading at most 2/3 parts per day (the entire 24 hours). This impatient me decides to join every single part that I can get. It works, and I can watch the stage till the part that I’ve downloaded, but the video becomes corrupt. As a result? I can’t speed forward anything. No jump cuts, no fast forwards, heck only a handful of app can open the incomplete video without crashing.

And therefore I have literally sit through the entire thing for almost 29 times, more than enough info for me to comment on every single thing that happened on the scene. And yes that means I have listened to Mamoru’s sexy panting for almost 29 times.

So below you’ll find me tsukkomiing commenting on every single scene, pointing out tiny things that you might not catch on your first watch, and maybe sometimes not really making sense.

Note: Split it in parts because THE DOWNLOAD IS STILL NOT DONE AT THIS POINT TToTT

Before opening:

Mamoru’s sexy panting 

Camera takes a long time to warm up. Many odd shots during Mamoru’s fight which ended up highlighting Tomoru’s not top notch action skill.

But Tomoru’s ability to fall onto the floor is top notch

Kagami’s lack of sensitivity is top notch

Ariga immediately removing his gloves once he heard that Mamoru was safe is a very nice touch

Ichijima’s: “There’s no plan to retrieve you.” “Your messiah’s life or death is unknown.” *leaves* ASSHOLE 

You can see a bullet of sweat drop as Mamoru was forced to deal with said asshole

Adore Dr THREE’s “Jikan wa muda da” expression and way of speaking for some reason <3

Intro pace is very rapid, then very chill. Feels like you’re suddenly teleported into an accelerating car, but said car suddenly decelerate to a snail speed in the next instant.

Mamoru I get that you’re very unhinged with Yuuri’s disappearance but holy hell those eyes look like they’re going to pop out.

Opening:

HOLY CRAP THAT SYNC AT THE BEGINNING IS SO COOL

AND THEY HAVE CHARACTER NAMES INTRO–OH GOD THOSE BLUE BLOCKS WHY

Mamoru introduced himself through rolling on the floor

Kagami’s hidden smirk is so freaking cool (props to camera)

Yugi’s super wide stance and super recoil vs firing a tiny gun

Kogure you missed your glasses

Kogure was fighting an enemy before he was thrown to the front in a kneeling position then the 3 seniors took their position standing as if to cover for him at the centre of the stage. Yugi and Miike were at opposite sides of the stage. The position feels symbolic somehow.

Ariga and Mamoru firing at each other’s direction (covering), Kagami in the centre. Hmm…

I see they’ve changed the narrator of the SAKURA rules–THAT’S RYOKI! OHH IT’S THE CADETS NARRATING NOW! (I can only catch Okki & Ryoki’s voice, and maybe Mamoru’s)

Izawa having a recoil so huge from firing a sniper, you can see him bending his knee

Kogure what is wrong with your stance are you incapable of moving your top half separately from your lower half

Holy crap that Yugi kick is so damn awesome!

Now here Mamoru is in the middle and Ariga-Kagami are at the sides

Right after that is blink-and-you-miss-it ArigaMamoru moment lol

Salut not really nailing the slow motion part

Dr TEN totally nailing the slow motion part

*Kuroko came in* *smack smack* two bodies

*Amane Guen Shogo came in* *bang bang* two bodies

Then the old guys appeared, on top of a ‘sea’ of bodies. IT’S SYMBOLIC

Ichijima freaking flipped his badass coat as he walked away

Poor Kogure got to fight in the furthest (deepest) part of the stage you can’t even see him

Kogure drew his gun slowly, Yugi drew his gun rapidly, Miike just shoot.

Mamoru looks super dead as he picked up his gun and shoot 

I kinda miss the old opening, but this one’s pretty good too. I’m torn.

Intro of Gen3 cadets:

Miike-Yugi vs Mamoru:

Italy~~–oh wait it’s Miike. His voice is lighter than I expected. Kinda like dark chocolate Italy

Mamoru looking dead tired from all the previous action scenes + dead because of Yuuri

Okki being in super serious mode. Surprisingly it’s very different from what I’ve seen from him so far. Pretty nice.

During the fight, there’s a lot of moments where Yugi and Miike clash. It’s not because they can’t work with each other but rather because they won’t. Yugi immediately shoved Miike aside, preferring to fight alone. Miike passed his gun to Yugi (like 'hold my things for me’) and proceeded to fight alone.

Miike’s doing Echizen Ryoma’s Split Step. 

Okki seems a bit hesitant at times, but when he didn’t hold back, pray that he doesn’t accidentally hit you. It’ll be like the 'pat’ he gave to Isogai Ryuko, with 100x more speed.

There was an opportunity for them to fight together, but Miike realized something and decided to step back (just as Ariga was explaining how Miike knows who Yugi is but not the other way around)

Oh so that’s how Miike ended up being on top of Yugi…Huh they did this 20 times… :D

Compared to the footage from the dress rehearsal, Yugi sounded a lot more concerned with Miike’s lack of courtesy, and Miike sounded like he’s more murmuring to himself rather than chiding Yugi.

Wonder why Yugi wasn’t bothered with Miike calling him 'Kotaro’ when he chided Miike for being too casual with the senior Mamoru.

Absolutely love Kagami’s “Baaaka. Senpai namen'na yo.”

Miike’s insensitivity may rival that of Kagami’s. Amazing how Ariga out of all people is the only sensitive one here.

Mamoru looked so fed up with life. Not even in Shibi had he looked this miserable.

Ariga’s ‘Shuuryou da!’ sounds off. Does Izawa have problems with enunciating ‘r’?

Kogure & Ariga-Kagami:

Kogure being plot device to fill in background information on Mamoru and Yuuri. Poor Kogure.

SAKURA still uses pictures from the Shibi days. 

Kagami looks like a toy poodle waiting impatiently for his master to play with him on the side of the road.

I’m seeing Izawa rather than Ariga. I wonder if it’s because Ariga’s becoming more human.

Kagami looking so impressed at Kogure’s hacking skill like a kid getting his christmas present.

Kogure hesitated before asking about Ichijima, saying that his question is not something he can find in the server. Wonder why the hesitation…

Kagami weren’t you there in Polor Night (note: I still haven’t watched it as of writing this) when the whole thing with Mamiya happened? How could you still ask Ariga that you insensitive brat#1.

Kagami’s riddle: #1) insert 4 number passcode #2) the pattern unlock thing in android phones #3) slide to unlock

“Ojisan…!” Says Kagami looking happy, confused, shocked, in disbelief, and vengeful all at once.

Kuroko Mamoru scene:

The Church now has an AI. Awesome!

Mamoru’s heartfelt scream is beautiful.

Kuroko: “Kamikita sa~n” vs “Ichi”, and yet the distance between him and Ichi is further than with Kamikita sa~n.

Kuroko’s male voice is also beautiful.

I wonder if Kuroko did a mini ad-lib here by changing his 'prince charming’ question every time.

Mamoru Ichijima scene:

Asshole Ichijima still does that lil fist pump whenever he brought up the graduation mission.

Ichijima seems unusually pissed off. “You have no right to refuse!”

I miss ‘Kuroko’ already.

Ichijima: “It is said that night is the darkest before dawn.” This asshole really has a way with words goddangit.

The first mission scene:

James is so beautiful <3

Okki you’re holding such a tiny gun so far away from you it’s not like the gun’s going to explode on your hand

Romano Salyut totally trashed the Gen3 cadets 

MiikeKogure moment#1: Kogure slid on the floor to go and cover Miike.

Kuroko being kinda useless in fighting is a nice touch. He might be one hell of a person before, but he’s trying his best to tame himself, and it’s slowly taking over. It’s very realistic.

Kuroko’s fight has to have the most sound effect (in terms of Kuroko gasping with every single attack)

Also I think Kony is not really made to do action.

The underling guy that got possessed can act pretty well. He’s adorbs.

MiikeKogure moment#2: Kogure went to save Miike who was caught by the enemy.

Kagami being thrown and caught by Mamoru. Kagami being thrown and caught by Izawa. Never knew it’s a three way thing.

Yugi trying to judo flip the enemy and ended up flying. Imagine a pair of ice skater, the one who is being lifted up by the waist. Like that.

Eww Araken guy you’re giving your used lollipop to Salyut–oh ok thank god Salyut didn’t eat it

The only person in this team who will spare a glance at a fallen comrade (Kagami) besides his own messiah is Yugi

The only person who will yell out people’s names in battle other than their own messiah is also Yugi (“Shirasaki-san!” “Ariga-san!”)

KogureMiike moment #3: “Bring the bodies”   *Yugi went to carry one body* Kogure: “Miike-san”   Miike: “Eh?Ehhhh…”

Now I want to see more KogureMiike moments

Ariga Izawa-Kagami scene:

Sugie can really pull off that fake smile really well

Ariga: “Izuzu…”   Kagami: “'Isonson?’ Sounds like first and last name” Ariga->>>Izawa Kagami is very amused by Ariga’s transformation

Kagami: “Call me Itsuki”  Izawa: *ONIGAWARA*

Shikura-Guen scene:

Guen’s eyes are permanently as big as Mamoru’s at the opening

Also Guen can totally be Kuroko#2

And he looks like a puppy daww~

Shikura-keibikyoukujichou(?) is such a long title. “Ichijima kakarichou(?)” is already long enough.

Doctors-Mamoru scene:

Kuroko trying to feed microchip into Dr THREE and apologized profusely after that.

Dr TEN: “Sometimes science can be about fantasy” Dr THREE: *Frown + Raised eyebrows*

Dr THREE: “Inside Shirazaki Mamoru’s head, it’s full of Yuuri Kaito” *KUROKO SMACK*

Btw that slipper has some kind of pink ribbon or heart on it

Kuroko doesn’t even normally wear slipper in his caretaker costume so why on earth is he bringing it around

Ichijima can’t deal with Kuroko’s antics lol–oh of course he can by being an asshole as usual

Ichijima really likes to remind those who have lost their messiahs of said fact

With Kamikita, Kuroko feels like an assistant. With Ichijima, Kuroko becomes another Sakura cadet. 

During that serious Kuroko moment, keep in mind he still has the pink slipper in his gun holster

[procellasdracon]

Dragonize - Pt 2

The Bonding went off without much preamble, even the normally rambunctious Natsu was quite serious for it. He spoke his side quiet easily, his happy smile putting Erza at ease enough so that she got through her side easily enough too. The two children then placed their ‘sealing mark’ upon each other. For Natsu, it was on his forehead while Erza’s was on her back in the shape of a wing-like tattoo. The more elaborate the design, the more magic was given through the bond.

“Exquisite,” Irene murmured, looking at how Natu’s mark on Erza grew to cover nearly her entire back. “He’s just like you - brimming with such power...”

“You should thank his real father for that,” Igneel mentioned with no small amount of pride. “He allowed me to adopt Natsu in name in order to fulfill a promise between his family and me. He is a good man.”

“Rare that you would praise a human so,” Irene looked at him. “Even so, it’s even more rare that one could handle the energies of a Dragon like this little one. He is one of the strongest that I have seen in all my years.” A proud smile graced her lips. “Now if only Erza can learn to control all that power, she’ll become the strongest of the Belserion line in 500 years.”

“Always setting the bar high for her,” Igneel shook his head. “Let her develop on her own. Together with Natsu, I am sure that she will not disappoint you.”

“It’s not the power that I fear she can’t control, it’s the emotional side.” She took a deep sigh and gave a half-glare at the ‘man’ standing beside her. “Puberty was rough with you.” Even as she said it, there was a smile in her tone.

Igneel gave a shrug and the barest hint of a smirk. “Yeah, our times were pretty rough. Did you ever manage to pay off that one - !!!”

THWACK!

“Don’t push it, Igneel.”

“Heh heh, yes my Lady.”

Irene rolled her eyes. Leave it to a BondMate to pull up memories of that particularly licentious time of her life. And to bring it up while their respective charges were going through this Bonding. However, going through with it when they were this young could prove to be ... interesting to say the least. The Natsu child was no more than 11 from the looks of it and her own Erza was 13, going on 14 within a few months. They had until her 14th birthday to train her how to tame the power that was now at her disposal as a Dragon Marked.

Igneel continued to watch, his aura shifting in response to Natsu’s increased output as he prepared for the final part of the Bonding. “This is it. Show us what you got, ‘son’.”

Natsu was elated. He was finally bonded to Erza! The amount of magic power flowing between them was unreal! He could take on an entire country for her now!

“Damn it, the kid is getting too excited,” Igneel remarked. “He’s only dreamed of that much power and now, it’s at his beck and call.*

Natsu looked at Erza’s face with a huge grin. “Can you feel it? We can do anything - ANYTHING! This is AWESOME!”

Erza gave a nod. Dressed down to their small clothes was a bit off-putting but Natsu didn’t seem to care one bit, which made her berate herself for being so caught up in such a thing as her modesty in the face of this ritual. From what she had heard, her mother performed this in the nude many times. But that was her mother - not her! She shook her head to fight the blush down.

“Hey, why are you embarrassed for?” Natsu took her hand and pulled it away from her body, to her stuttering protests. “C’mon, we’ve got to finish this last part with a bang!

The red-head took a steadying breath to calm herself. “..yes, you are right Natsu.” She could not help the rueful smile from appearing on her face. “You are a bit wiser than I gave you credit for.” To her surprise, the young boy lowered his head as a blush appeared on his face.

“Th-thanks,” he replied shyly, confusing Erza for a bit until she thought about it some more. This little brat couldn’t take a compliment!

“Okay Natsu, let us show our parents our new strength.”

“Yeah!”

They both gave a nod at each other then closed their eyes, letting their magic surge between them. For Erza, the magic began to wrap around her body, pulling closer and tighter to her skin like hot silk. Natsu, however, felt an intense burning from within his body, trying to force it’s way out. **Visualize! Give a direction for the power to go - a form to manifest!**

Their eyes flashed open as they both cried out, “*DRAGONIZE!*” as they were enveloped in a terrific flash of light...

~*~

“Marvelous, simply marvelous. I’m so proud of you, my daughter. Truly you have proven yourself a Belserion this day.”

Erza felt her heart would burst from the praise Lady Irene was heaping on her. She sat demurely at the table, fidgeting with her fingers. “Th-thank you, Honored Mother.”

“That’s my boy! They didn’t think you’d be able to pull it off but you nearly did a full body conversion! That’s amazing!”

“YEAH, I”M THE GREATEST!”

Both women couldn’t help smiling at the antics of the pair as they both danced around, laughing at the top of their voices, Natsu atop Igneel’s shoulders.

Erza turned to look at her mother. “I was surprised that Natsu managed to shift his body that much. Nearly all of his skin was scaled and even a wing came out of his back...!”

“Yes, that is indeed a marvel. Igneel was not exaggerating in the slightest with this one,” Irene smiled. “There is no doubt that the two of you shall become even stronger than myself and Belserion in our heyday.”

“Mother, you bonded with more than one Dragon?”

“That...is another story, my dear. I’m not like most women that you’ve seen. You and I are special in a way that I shall tell you of later. But this is yours and Natsu’s night tonight. A feast in celebration with just us together.” Irene put a hand on Erza’s shoulder. “Tomorrow will be time to start training with Natsu. You two shall become inseparable from now on. This will help your snychronization rate and start to temper the bond between the two of you.”

“Yes, Mother,” she nodded.

“Also, you’re the older one in this bonding so you set the tone. Natsu will ultimately do whatever you want but you must remember that he is not a slave - he is a partner and one who knows you more intimately than any one else could hope to.” Irene noticed how her little girl blushed when she heard the word ‘intimate’ and couldn’t help squeeing a bit inside. In truth, Irene was a master of facial expressions but seeing her daughter doing cute things always made her self-control bend just a little bit. “You ultimately decide how far to take things with Natsu. But since the two of you are underaged, I’d prefer you didn’t do anything of a lewd nature.”

“Mo-Mother...!”

Irene’s silverly laugh burst forth at the sight of Erza’s face turning as red as her hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Full steam ahead it seems.

I am being purposefully vague on the entire nature of this ‘Bond’ of theirs and here’s why - I don’t know what it should encompass. While I do have a general idea of what I want, important particulars have not been figured out and I am pretty much writing this on the fly. Besides, I prefer to let my audience figure certain things out for themselves and let them draw their own conclusions. The Bond itself is subjective and certain people will see it’s very existence in different ways. Kinda like how people interpret the bond of Natza as a whole, really. Erza is in control - she dictates how far things go. The potential of their bond is incredible, as Irene and Igneel have alluded to but it can only become what Erza and Natsu agree it should.

And I’ll put fears to rest - this is not going to be a sexual story - sensual in some parts for plot reasons yes, but not sexual (learn the difference if you don’t already). Some have complained that Natza stories are just sex-filled romps of OOC power-ups given to Natsu for the excuse of bedding Erza. While I do see where that is true in some respects, that by no means sums up what Natza is. That is just the aspect that is focused on for now - in a few months, who knows what the focus will be. Take into account the age group that is watching and making up the Fairy Tail fandom as it is now - it’s normal to get that sort of thing. I’ve been around since when Sailor Moon and Ranma 1/2 fandoms had the run of the mill on the internet - I’ve seen this happen more times than I care to admit. ... aaaand I just dated which era I belong to... lol

As always, enjoy!

Keeping the dream alive one chapter at a time.