#i fucking hate the process of trying to find a job this shit sucks

[cameronsprincess]

i understand that reqs r closed and u completely don’t have to fulfill this but i thought you’d do a BANGER job at this prompt: u and rafe r married but are getting divorced and u threw a divorce party… only to end the night going home with him… a little bit of angst with some smut?? idk make it ur own 💗

zyaaaa<3 i love you for this, and thank you for trusting ME with your request!!!

CW: 18+ only! slight angst, more fluff than i intended, divorce, smut, male receiving oral, piv sex.

note: yeah yeah reader went out w her friends but left w rafe and none of them tried to stop her. in my head none of them noticed their interaction/her leaving with him. let’s pretend they’re blowing up her phone while she’s gettin’ the best dick down of her lifeee. also, i suck at endings, its my biggest flaw so yeah sorry if the ending is bad.

“here’s to finally being free of the most toxic marriage to the most toxic man!” you say joyfully, clinking your glass with three of your closest friends.

your friends all giggle, bringing the champagne flutes to their lips and taking small sips. you glance around your house, a weight seemingly lifted off your shoulders as you take in how freeing it feels to finally have your divorce finalized. you’d been married for three years, and while it was good at first, somewhere during the marriage your— now ex— husband had become cold and indifferent toward you. you couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened, nor could you give a reason why, but all you knew was enough was enough. you were too young and too beautiful to spend the rest of your life in a loveless marriage to a man who treated you like shit.

your friends voice rips you from your thoughts. “earth to y/n.. you okay babe?”

you squeeze your eyes shut, giving your friend a big smile before nodding your head. “yeah i’m fine,” pausing, you down the rest of your champagne, setting the glass onto your coffee table and rising from your spot on the couch. “let’s go out tonight.”

your friends all share slightly concerned looks with one another before their attention lands on you. nicole clears her throat, awkwardly shifting before she finally speaks, “i mean.. yeah sure, but are you sure you wanna put yourself out there like that right now?”

you roll your eyes, sighing. “yes i’m sure. i just spent the last year of my life going through a messy divorce process, so i’d like to go out with my girls, have some drinks, dance a little, and maybe, just maybe, find some hot guy to bring home. i’m not going out to find my next husband, jesus.”

and that’s exactly what you did, but little did you know… the man you’d go home with was your ex husband.

—

“another shot of patrón please? thank you!” you shout to the bartender, giving him a flirty half-drunken smile.

the bartender nods, moving to pour your drink before sliding it across the bar to you. you smile, grabbing the glass and downing it before setting it back on the bars top.

“a pretty woman like you shouldn’t be buying her own drinks.” a low, raspy voice says from behind you.

you bite at your bottom lip, smiling to yourself before turning to face the mystery man. your eyes widen in shock when you see rafe, standing so close to you that you could smell the whiskey on his breath.

“rafe.. what the fuck are you doing here?”

he smiles down at you, taking a step closer, backing you into the bar. “i could ask you the same question. the divorce only finalized today, trying to forget me so soon, sweetheart?”

“i’m not your fucking sweetheart, rafe. now leave me alo-”

rafe grips at your hips, pulling your body into his. he dips his head down, inhaling the scent of your shampoo, groaning as he rests his forehead on your shoulder. “i miss you. do you miss me?”

your pussy pulses from his words, the smell of him so intoxicating it had your head spinning more than it already was. you did love him, and you hated that he pushed you to file for divorce, but it’s how things were. you couldn’t mess up everything you’d fought for, not now, not ever.

you try and shove him back, but his hands tighten on your waist, not allowing you to move. “baby, stop. m’sorry, for everything. i know the divorce finalized today, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still fuck.. maybe try and just be friends, date, see where life takes us, right?”

he was trying to manipulate your drunk mind, and you couldn’t let him win. you refused to let him win. it was done. you were free of him, so why was he here and trying to reel you back in? he didn’t miss you, he missed the comfort you brought him, he missed how you’d always try and calm his mind, how you’d forgive him every time he fucked up. he didn’t miss you.

“rafe please, stop. i’m too drunk for this argument. you don’t fucking miss me, you miss the way i was for you,” you pause, your half-lidded eyes looking up and finding rafe’s beautiful blue eyes. “i can’t do this, please.”

you tear your eyes off his, knowing if you looked into them for too long, you’d be a goner. you’d go home with him, let him have his way with you, and wake up regretting it in the morning, because you and rafe could never work out. not as friends, not as a couple, not as anything.

rafe slides his left hand up your sides, reaching your face and cupping your cheek in his hand. his thumb slowly strokes the skin before he hooks his thumb and index finger under your chin, forcing your head up.

“baby.. i do miss you. please, just— just let me prove to you how much i fucking miss you.”

his words tug at your heartstrings, your body melting into his touch like it always did. tears well in your eyes, your chin wobbling as you look into his eyes, eyes that used to make your heart stop and made you feel safe and at home.

sighing, you nod your head once. “okay.. okay fine. just one night, we can look at it as… goodbye sex. right?”

a smile takes over rafe’s lips, “whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart. let’s go.”

he quickly grabs your hand, pulling you across the dance floor and out the doors of the club you were in. the warm, mid-summer air hits your skin, the light breeze sending goosebumps up your arms. rafe drags you across the parking lot, eagerly reaching his truck and unlocking it, opening the passenger door for you. you raise a brow at him, “someone’s really trying tonight, isn’t he? you stopped opening my door for me years ago.”

rafe chuckles. “i’m sorry for that… truly.”

you roll your eyes, giving him a small smile before lifting yourself into his truck, pulling on your seatbelt as he shuts the door for you. he rounds the front of his truck, hopping into the driver seat and starting the truck, putting it into reverse and speeding out of the clubs parking lot.

the ride back to rafe’s house is comfortably silent, and the second you two arrive, rafe is killing the engine and hopping out to help you out and into his house.

you barely make it through the front door before rafe’s lips are on yours. he grips your hips in his hands, squeezing tightly as his lips devour yours. he bites at your bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth before releasing it softly. he rests his forehead against yours, the sound of both your heavy breathing filling the small entryway of his house.

“fuck i missed you, i missed you so fucking much sweetheart.” rafe breathes out, his hands slowly running up and down your sides.

he runs his hands down to your ass, squeezing at it softly before running them down further, his fingers playing with the hem of your dress. he begins slowly pulling the dress up your body, exposing your black lace thong, sucking in a sharp breath, “fuck.”

your cheeks heat up under his intense gaze, “rafe.. please? ‘m so horny, just need to feel you tonight, okay? just make me forget why we split up.”

rafe bites his bottom lip hard, nodding his head furiously. he pulls your dress off completely, tossing it behind you. he dips his head down again, his lips attacking the length of your neck with sloppy, open mouthed kisses. your knees grow weak, slightly shaking when he sucks softly at the skin of your neck, pulling back and groaning as he admires the deep purple bruise he’d marked you with.

“so beautiful,”

you drop to your knees, fingers fumbling with the buckle of his belt, finally pulling it free from the loops of his khakis and tossing it to the floor before working his button and zipper. rafe is quick to shove his khakis and boxers down, letting his hard cock spring free. you moan at the sight of him, hands reaching out hesitantly to grip at his thick shaft.

a low groan spills from rafe’s lips the second your hands wrap around him, giving slow and deliberate strokes. “always looked so pretty on your knees f’me, never wanna lose this, baby.”

you dart out your tongue, licking up the precum that had leaked from his tip. you moan at the taste of him on your tongue. you missed him, and this is definitely a huge step backward, but you’d deal with the consequences later. tonight, you wanted to soak up having him be attentive and loving with you again, he hadn’t been this way in so long.

“c’mon baby, suck my cock, need to feel those pretty lips wrapped ‘round me.”

you obey, wrapping your lips around his swollen tip and sucking at it lightly, your hands still slowly stroking at his shaft. rafe groans, his head thrown back in pleasure as his cock twitches in your hands. you slowly push more of him into your mouth, sucking him down your throat until he’s buried deep, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat. you hold him there, breathing in deep through your nose, while your tongue works at the vein on the underside of his cock.

you pull your head back, leaving only the tip in your mouth. you tease him, sucking at his head before pulling him out completely, giving quick strokes with your hands, your lips leaving soft kisses up and down his length.

rafe wraps his hand in your hair, tugging harshly at your messy locks as he groans in frustration. “baby, please? you wanna hear me beg? i’m not beneath begging, not with you at least.”

you shift on your knees, your clit pulsing at how desperate he was for you. this is what you wanted, for rafe to be desperate for your touch and attention. not wasting another second, you push him back into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you begin bobbing your head up and down, taking him all the way down your throat before slowly sliding him back out. rafe’s grip on your hair loosens, but he quickly tightens it back, yanking at your hair harshly as he holds you in place. he begins thrusting his hip, fucking himself down your throat at a quick pace, taking away your air with each push of his hips.

tears roll down your face, your throat already sore from how hard he was fucking it. you gag and moan around him, feeling him twitch in your mouth, the vein on the bottom of his shaft throbbing. you work your tongue against him, helping push him toward his release. rafe’s cock swells, low curses falling from his lips. he yanks your head back by your hair, his cock slipping from your lips, “goddamn… forgot how good you take a throat fucking, baby.. but i wanna cum somewhere else tonight.”

your tear-filled, bloodshot eyes meet his and he extends his hand out for you to grab. you hesitantly place your smaller hand in his, letting him pull you up off your knees. his lips are on yours in seconds, tongue slipping into your mouth, tongues swirling and teeth clashing. rafe listen you off the ground, pulling you into his arms as your legs wrap around his waist. he walks you into the large living room, his lips never leaving yours. he finally breaks the kiss, gently dropping you onto his couch, the cool leather chilling your hot skin.

rafe drops to his knees, his fingers digging into the waistband of your panties, slowly pulling them down your legs and tossing them onto the coffee table behind him. his eyes flit down to your dripping pussy, the bright blue of his eyes drowned out by his blown pupils. he grips your thighs in his hands, roughly spreading them further apart, “you’re soaked, sweetheart. i knew you fuckin’ missed me.”

you whimper, rolling your hips in a silent plea for him to touch you. rafe chuckles, his right hand releasing your thigh and moving to cup your pussy. he slides two fingers through your slick folds, coating them in your arousal before bringing them to his lips, “mmm.. still so sweet.” he rasps.

rafe stands to his full height, lifting you off the couch and turning, sitting himself down with you in his lap. you grind yourself against his hard cock, moaning at the delicious pressure on your clit as you did. rafe lets his head fall back, his hands tightly gripping at your ass as he helped you slide yourself against his throbbing cock. you lift yourself onto your feet, hovering over him as you grasp his shaft in one hand, lining him with your entrance. rafe’s eyes find yours, his bottom lip sucked between his teeth as he waited to finally feel your pussy wrapped around him.

you slowly sink yourself down on his cock, the two of you moaning in unison. you sit yourself all the way down, burying him to the hilt, both of your hands flying to his shoulders, your nails digging into the soft skin. rafe hisses in a breath, his cock pulsing inside you, “can i move? please baby? wanna fuck this perfect fucking pussy.”

you whimper when he bucks his hips, the swollen head of his cock hitting at your sweet spot. “yes. please, rafe. please fuck me.”

that’s all rafe needed to hear. his hands make purchase on your hips, lifting you up off his cock, leaving only the tip inside before he slams himself back in. you cry out his name, leaning forward and burying your face in his neck. rafe lifts your hips slightly, allowing himself just enough room to quickly pound himself into you. your walls clench around him, tears rolling down your cheeks from the pleasure he was giving you but also because you knew, you couldn’t let him go again after this.

you lift your face from his neck, resting your forehead against his, the two of you staring into each others eyes as rafe continues to fuck himself inside you. rafe pulls his right hand off your hip, his thrusts slowing as he reaches up and swipes a tear from your cheek. “don’t cry, baby.”

you sniffle, “just feels so… fuck— so good, rafe.”

rafe slowly moves his hips, his thrusts slow and sensual. you cup his face in your hands, your eyes scanning his perfect face before falling to his lips. rafe leans forward, capturing your lips with his as the two of you move your hips in sync. you moan against his lips, your walls fluttering around his cock, “rafe.. ‘m so close… please..”

“i know baby… i know,” rafe lets out his out pleasure filled moan, his voice cracking as the next words leave his mouth, “i love you… fuck i love you, this is all about you, let it out, be my good girl and cum f’me, yeah?”

you let out a choked sob, the three small words that left his mouth pulling your heart in more ways than one. your mind is reeling, does he mean it? was losing you what he needed to realize he truly loves you and needs you? do you forgive him? your pussy clenches around rafe’s dick, your lower belly tightening as rafe’s slow strokes push you toward the edge. you sink your teeth into rafe’s shoulder, muffling your cries as you come undone around him, tears uncontrollably rolling down your face.

rafe groans, his thrusts slow and sloppy. his dick twitches inside you, a choked “i love you,” escaping him as he pushes in deep one final time, holding himself inside you as he fills your pussy with his cum.

the two of you are holding onto one another, coming down from your shared highs. heavy breathing fills the room, and when you fully come down from your bliss, you’re pulling yourself off of him, scrambling to find your panties, ignoring the wetness between your thighs and his cum seeping out of you. you’re quick to throw your panties on, turning to rush and find your dress, but rafe grabs your wrist, pulling you back into him.

you can’t look at him, “hey.. baby, look at me, please.”

a tear falls down your face, but you force yourself to look into his eyes, noticing that his are filled with his own unshed tears.

“this was a mistake.” you whisper, but rafe heard you anyways.

his brows furrow, “how can you say that?”

you try and push off of him, but he tightens his arms around you.

“rafe, please. we got a divorce. you made your bed, you chose to treat me like shit and lose me. we can’t work. we don’t work.”

rafe sighs, “listen. i meant everything i said, i’m fucking sorry. i love you, i just… goddamnit, i just suck at showing my emotions. i suck at letting people in, and because of that, i pushed you away and lost the best fucking thing that ever happened to me,” you laugh, rolling your eyes but rafe’s face never falters. “i’m not fucking joking. i fucking love you, okay? okay, y/n? i fucking love you, and i need you.”

you don’t know what to think. your divorce was just finalized, you can’t possibly go back… can you? you do love him, and never wanted this in the first place. what if you take him back and things go back to shit? you’ll look like an idiot.

rafe cups your face in his hands, his blue eyes shining as he stares back at you. “i see you overthinking this, and i understand. i do. but hear me out, please?”

“o—okay..”

rafe blows out a breath. “thank you. i know how i feel. i fucked up, and i want to prove to you that i can be better… for you. please, just, stay with me tonight, let me try and get a start on proving to you how much i need you back,” he pauses, swallowing harshly before he continues, “and if after tonight, you still feel the same.. you can leave and i’ll never bother you again.”

you think over his words, knowing that you would do anything to receive the love you once did from him again. you squeeze your eyes shut, running a hand through your hair as you let out a shaky breath. “rafe, i— fuck.. okay. fine. but if i do choose to take you back, you cannot go back to how things were. i can’t go through this again, i can’t look like the idiot who went running back just because her ex husband spewed a few sweet words after sex..”

rafe smiles hopefully, “i understand, i promise, i mean everything. i will prove to you how much i fucking love you,” he leaves a soft kiss to your lips, standing from the couch with you in his arms bridal style. “now, let’s get your upstairs and cleaned up, then we’ll lay in bed and we can talk about anything, whatever you want, tonight’s all about you, and i’m here to listen and do whatever i can to fix us.”

tagging some moots: @starkeysbabygirl @rafesthroatbaby @rafesheaven @rafesbabygirlx @sarahsangelicdoll @nemesyaaa @cherryobx @httpsdrewstarkey @rafeyscurtainbangs @oceandriveab

[purplethespian]

Filling out this stupid employment record form as part of my job application and it’s actually pissing me the fuck off. It asks for everything from the last 7 years and also specifies that my resume should not be treated as a substitute for filling out the form. So I have to be detailed in describing all the job/volunteer shit I’ve done SINCE 2017

This is such fucking bullshit. I just graduated from college so between now and 2017 I have had nine different jobs (if you include my leadership roles in various organizations). It has been over an hour since I started writing everything out and I’m only halfway done

AGH!!!

[madisonthetimewalker]

Got inspired by @loryn-art and decided to make some modern AU Wakfu headcanons because I always love making head canons when I see cool AU’s

1. Yugo cannot skateboard for shit. He always face-plants into the pavement (Adamai can skateboard and laughs his ass off at yugo’s misery)

2. Adamai is surprisingly good at baking, he can make a pretty good looking cake (if he try’s)

3.qilby has horrible fucking sleep schedule I cannot describe how bad it is but it is horrible.

4. Chibi is a morning person and has a decently sized ego.

5. Grougal has the best hair in the family (he gets it from his mom what do you expect?)

6. Shinonome (I cannot spell her name for the life of me oh my god) likes to live a cozy and organized life… qilby does not knowing the meaning of organized

7. Adamai works in retail and has clip on earrings (he doesn’t want to get his ear pierced again it sucked for him he hated it. I also have an example in one of my drawings!)

8. Phaeris is very very good at making sure shit doesn’t go down in the house. Mostly because he has a resting bitch face and I love it

9. Baltazar works at a daycare. He likes the job (quilby is not allowed near baltazar because of what happened in season 2, they will full on fist fight im dead ass)

10. Efrim isn’t very responsible with money (do not give him any he will spend it… and so will Nora)

11. Glip is often tired he has a pretty good sleep schedule (unlike qilby) but still often complains of being tired.

12. For mina I wanted to make her a teacher but since she was known to be basically a lawyer in Wakfu but I feel like a teacher would fit her as well.

13. Adamai doesn’t talk about his private life.. at all for that matter he keeps to himself a lot and you basically have to pester him to tell you what’s wrong.

14. Adamai has a creepy smile (this is canon.. oh my poor boy) and often times won’t smile in photos he just kinda grins and walks away.

15. Yugo has such horrible and I mean horrible taste in fashion (you can hear Adamai holding back tears in the background while Mina or Nora has to tell him to change or else he’s gonna scare their mother to death due to his shitty fashion sense.)

16. If you where to ask qilby about a specific historical event, he will tell it in such great detail it makes it seem like he was actually there.

17. The dragon bros cannot taste spicy foods (I heard somewhere since lizards are cold-blooded they can’t taste that thing that makes you taste spicy foods) so if you see grougal chowing down extreme spicy ramen don’t ask.

18. Efrim is very clumsy and often stubs his toes or accidentally hits something when he walks (everyone thinks he needs glasses but he has 20/20 vision this fucker just can’t walk straight)

19. I like to think Adamai is a bit of a nerd. In his own way of course (if you’re lucky you can catch him reading comic books in his room.. which is always locked)

20. Nora and Efrim collect random stuff they find on the ground and they have this huge stash of random shit. Nobody knows how long they have had this but god is it large

21. Glip can often be seen grading papers (I like to believe baltazar is a daycare teacher while Glip is a high school - collage teacher/professor)

22. Chibi does not know the meaning of “social cues” (and neither does yugo.)

23. Shinonome works at a flower shop (qilby doesn’t like flowers mostly because of bad allergies but he supports his sister anyway.)

25. Efrim hates having to work and I mean HATESSS it he will complain the whole time (Adamai is one step away from hitting him with a shopping cart at 100 miles an hour)

26. Yugo can’t focus for shit, but can surprisingly describe how to make a specific meal in great detail (alibert you have raised a good man.)

27. Phaeris is very good with solving puzzles and likes to do them in his free time, he says he enjoys the “thinking process”

28. Chibi is a horrible flirt if he sees a pretty lady and he wants to say hi? Immediately tripping and stumbling and accidentally embarrassing himself (grougal is laughing his ass off silently in a corner.)

29. (Can you tell I like Adamai?) he’s a pretty good babysitter although he isn’t a huge fan of it but he doesn’t mind helping people out.

30. Nora can’t roller skate while Mina is a fucking mastermind.

31. Baltazar and qilby can be seen giving the meanest fucking side eyes at family dinners (Adamai prefers to eat in his room. But once there’s drama he appears and watch’s from afar.)

32. Qilby has the worst back pain in the world.

33. For someone who can’t focus for shit yugo is an incredibly fast learner! And can learn anything in a matter of seconds (Adamai is often jealous out how quick of a learner he is.)

34. Glip doesn’t like being forced to work at such late hours but he has no choice (the curse of being a teacher)

35. Adamai often runs away from yugo when he’s at work. And yugo likes to chase him down for shits and giggles (yugo please he’s trying to do his job)

Great Lordy I have made so many! I might make some insert modern AU ones as well. Involving ecaflip and Xelor and the rest of the gods, I like to think they also live in the world of twelve but they don’t really show their faces (kinda like Greek gods? If you get what I mean)

Anyway I’m glad I got to share more headcanons! Have a great day!

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[mamabirbsnz]

Okay I’m gonna vent again. Sorry folks, but I’m fucking LIVID right now.

If you’re here for snz, just ignore this post. For those who care and are willing to listen… idk leave advice or something nice in the comments

Also I suck at organizing all of my thoughts in order, so I apologize if this shit is all over the place. Adhd brain :P

tw: ableism, struggles with depression and anxiety (and also autism and adhd), ED’s, transphobia/homophobia, LOTS of swearing (I’m fucking mad what the fuck do you expect?), s/h

I fucking hate not being taken seriously. I try so fucking hard to act professional and serious in my workplace, and just silently doing the work I’m supposed to do. I swear to god, as soon as they find out I’m Autistic from either myself or someone else in the workplace, they think I’m fucking incapable of working reasonable hours.

This is how my job hunting process goes. Go on Indeed.com, find a job that looks interesting. Apply. Usually the interview process goes well for me. Land the job, do the job. Everything goes well at first. Give it a month at least, and suddenly my hours are getting cut. With no explanation. And now I’m only working up to 3 hours a week making no fucking money in my redneck fuck ass town. So what do I do? I look for a new job. Update my resume and apply. And the cycle continues.

This has been happening with EVERY. FUCKING. JOB I GET. “Oh, it’s just labor costs :/“ THEN THEY TURN AROUND AND HIRE LIKE 10 MORE PEOPLE!!! FUCKING WHYYYY?!?!?! IF IT’S REALLY ABOUT THE LABOR COSTS THEN STOP! FUCKING! HIRING! I DON’T GET IT!!!!

ALL I WANT IS TO MAKE MONEY SO I CAN LEAVE THIS FUCKING DOGSHIT CONSERVATIVE STATE AND MOVE TO SOMEWHERE WHERE I CAN BE AT PEACE! WHERE I CAN SMOKE ALL THE LEGAL WEED I WANT, AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING SHOT EVERY TIME I GO OUTSIDE FOR BEING QUEER!!!

Speaking of which. I had wanted to tell my dad that I was bisexual for a while, and only recently built up the courage to tell him, “I’m bisexual.” His response? “No you’re not. And you better not turn into a [transphobic slur that rhymes with “granny”] or I’ll disown you :)” I have no fucking idea why my dad is so fucking triggered by the existence of trans people. Not to mention the fact that I said literally NOTHING about trans people or being trans in that interaction.

He also acted this same way when I was diagnosed with Autism at the age of 14. My older brother also has Autism, although he is higher on the spectrum, therefore his symptoms are more severe and “obvious.” My dad refuses to believe that both of his children have Autism. When I was in high school, I went to an Autism awareness rally with my dad and my brother, and I talked to the people there about Autism and how I had been recently diagnosed (recent at the time). My dad butts in and says, “You do not have Autism, what you have is fucking lazy ass syndrome ‘cuz you won’t get a job.” In a public space. With tons of people around. So I was about to fucking cry because my god damn father just humiliated me in public, and at that point I just wanted to go home.

I try. So fucking hard. To work on myself. To work on my physical health by remembering to actually eat. To work on my attitude when I upset people or if I’m just too negative. To work on my appearance and making sure I remember to shower regularly. And to work on my work ethic, which I think has been pretty damn good thus far. And I STILL. Have my hours cut. I haven’t had a fucking shift since LAST THURSDAY. And I have NO upcoming shifts AT ALL this week!!!

It fucking infuriates me that I’m willing to put in the hours and get none, and the fucking minors that work there hate their job and get more hours than me. My weight is starting to go down again because I’ve been laying in my bed doing fucking nothing but sleeping and not eating due to me being trapped at home in my depressive state. I am already severely underweight, and I have been for a majority of my life. Anybody who takes medication for ADHD knows the struggle of keeping your appetite up. I have to force myself to eat when I don’t feel hungry.

My mom worries so much about me, and I hate making her worry and making her cry. It hurts to think about because my mom is such a nice lady and has done so much for me, and I feel like I’m just throwing everything away. I already fucked up in college. I would constantly avoid my responsibilities and would just play video games to escape it. But I couldn’t keep running forever… and my grades tanked, and I would… scrape my wrist with my car keys to punish myself. It kept happening again and again where I would avoid everything and keep hurting myself, and I eventually tried to move on to knives. But as I picked up the knife I saw the innocent look in my dog’s eyes across the room, unaware of what I was about to do to myself. It was at that moment when I realized I couldn’t do it… I couldn’t bring myself to use the knife… So the school year ends, and I flunked out, and even then my mom helped me cope with it and reassured me that I’m not a disappointment to her. I seriously don’t deserve her, she is so thoughtful and patient with me. I want to live… for her… And I want to do better in life… it’s just so unfair that the world keeps treating me like a child when I actually try to go out and get a job and try to fucking make something useful of myself… I just want to contribute something to the world, and spend my time being fucking useful for something… I don’t want to die on this planet as a fucking loser who couldn’t even get through her first year in college.

I just want to be treated like a fucking equal. Like a human. Like an adult. Is that so much to fucking ask?

Thanks for listening if you care… good night…

[lukael]

it's venting time baby

tumblr still feels like the only place where I can actually properly vent, I don't wanna do it on my other platforms cause I feel like they're the more likely to get me commissions and I imagine hearing me say how much I fucking hate drawing isn't exactly good for business

and honestly I fucking hate that I can't actually say how I really feel in fear of not getting commissions, makes me feel like a FOOL but anyways

I do not enjoy drawing :)

I don't find it fun, I don't find it fulfilling, and I'm still fighting with myself over that fact, because I've been really happy since quitting my job 2 years ago, so it's easy to feel like it's because drawing makes me happier, but I really think it's just that I hate the idea of doing any other job EVEN MORE.

I don't think I'm good at it, I don't think I'm ever really gonna be great at it, and when Audrey asks me "why do you need to be great at it", I don't really know what to say. I don't have the answer. Trying to do something without being able to is just the most frustrating feeling in the fucking world, and it's something I'm putting myself through daily by pursuing art, like I'm just not good at it lol

so fucking tired of hearing people say "no you're totally good at it omg you're so talented!" like.... I APPRECIATE THAT, I really do, like yeah I can create moderately competent looking images on occasion, to some that's an impressive skill, or that's sufficient, cool. It's not good enough for me lol I would like to either: enjoy the process of drawing (I do not) or to create really great looking art (I do not)

bad enough that I hate it, but I also hate the process of having to constantly be looking for job opportunities with book companies, trying to advertise for commissions, never really getting enough to pay the bills for the month, like.... social medias are only getting more and more shit, so that's not helping, but even before that, I've never found any success online (probably cause the art sucks lol)

some days I'm debating just going to work at Subways or some shit, cause then at least I'd be making minimum wage lol which is a hella lot more than I'm making right now, but doing a student entry level job at 34 wouldn't be great for my morale I think lol plus I would hate that work too, so idk... call me lazy I guess, I just don't wanna work lol

Praying to the fuckin heavens every day that my channel can pick up in traffic so I can monetize it, cause even though I don't think I'm funny or interesting or entertaining in those videos, at least I have fun doing those. Getting to do this stuff full time would literally be a dream come true cause then I wouldn't be forced to fucking draw. I could actually like, maybe just draw for fun and somehow try to reconnect with what it is that led me to start drawing in the first place 30 something years ago

It sucks cause my parents are probably so proud of me when I say "hey guys I'm doing it I'm a freelance illustrator going on 2 years now!" I bet they tell their friends like wow look how my son is doing so well! not really knowing I've lost thousands of dollars of savings in those two years because I'm not making jack shit because I still price my commissions like I was 17 year old just starting in the damn art world

but I can't price comms any higher because A) I wouldn't get any and B) I can't in good conscience charge any higher for this garbage I'm making, I sure as fuck wouldn't pay that amount for the shit I draw. And that's with people not even knowing how much I hate it the whole time lol oh shit that's probably bad for business to say here too huhhhhhhhhh hey guys don't mind me my commissions are open, check my carrd for more info!!! :)

if anyone is unlucky enough to be reading this, probably thinking "luk if you hate drawing so much why not just do some other job" well see thats because I've painted myself into this fucking corner, and in my entire life have been so stubborn about drawing that I haven't amassed any other skill or interest, so there's no other job I could be doing, it just has to be this now, because I need to make money somehow so I can eat and pay rent, so might as well be with this thing I'm kinda sorta okay at even though it's fucking pulling teeth at this point

anyways

[taoistpenguin]

How to get people to listen to your music

i’ve been a songwriter, solo artist, sideman, and mercenary picker for 30+ years. i see a lot of social posts from people, who i assume are mostly younger folks, that basically lament how nobody’s listening to their music. i wanna help you out so i’ll share what i’ve learned after being in the game for the long haul.

first thing you need to accept is that nobody gives a fuck about your music. they have zero knowledge and zero interest about you.

if you want people to care about your music you have to make them care. and not in the bullshit “create engagement” way everyone sells. you need to go out and play your music in front of people in a way that demonstrates 110% commitment to your art. and you need to ask yourself a couple hard questions:

1. why are you an artist? is it a driving force in your life that you can’t live without, or just a lifestyle dream you aspire to?

2. do you have anything relevant to say to a mass audience?

i get it, sometimes you feel blocked or worthless. but those are the times when you need to hit it even harder. you need to stay in a musical mindset 24/7. if your primary approach to making music stalls, find different ways in.

lose the ego. if you’re a writer, sing someone else’s songs. if you’re a solo artist, go be a sideman in someone else’s band. maybe try to listen deeply to a style you hate. the main thing is to keep finding paths to creativity, no matter the circumstances.

if you don’t have the skills to make music that’s outside your current zone, develop them. stretch yourself. if you really care enough to grow artistically, do the work. that alone will break any creative blocks you may be having.

and don’t give me sob stories about how there’s no place to play. back in the day we made places to play, and three decades on, we still create our own opportunities. i gig regularly in 3 different bands plus solo shows. you want it that bad? make it happen.

here’s the main thing i’ve learned after 30 years: regular folks hear music differently than musicians do. if you’re posting your woes to other musicians on social media, you’re coming at it from the wrong perspective.

your job is to connect with non-musicians. non-musicians don’t give a shit about your creative process. they don’t care what EQ you used to record it. they just want to be entertained, so fucking entertain them. it’s not about passing a credibility test among other musicians.

if your music isn’t connecting with people, go find out what they want to connect with, and try to give them what they want. and no, that doesn’t mean “sell out”. it means frame and present your own unique art in a way that people with zero knowlege and zero interest can understand and relate to it.

of course, this approach presumes that you want to have a successful career creating music. if you just wanna make noises in your bedroom, that’s cool too. no judgement on any level of creativity.

but, if you’re posting in public that nobody’s listening to your music, yet you’re also not doing anything to make them listen and care, then maybe you need to decide if you’re really serious about being an artist.

yes, it sucks to not be heard or validated. but there’s no justice in the world. without even trying, i could name you three dozen artists who make beautiful - and accessible - records that blow the doors off anything in the current top 40, but nobody mainstream knows them.

but you know what? they ain’t quitting, because it’s what they do and it’s *who they are*. and that’s the biggest point. it’s fine to wanna get paid for your art, but first you have to really be an artist. and these days the bar is high. you gotta be really good.

look, creative life is tough. get a helmet, and maybe adjust your expectations. but if you really want to make a career of making music, start by finding answers to the two questions i posed up top. and then go kick ass.

[1d1195]

Sam my love I’ve missed you this week😭😭😭 I have MANY things to catch you up on and I fear it’s gonna be a two parter 😭 (I’ll try not to yap too much lol)

WDYM SAM IVE MENTIONED THE HARRY WITH A BREEDING KINK?!? BESTIE😭😭😭😭 I wish my memory wasn’t shit so I could remember 😔 BUT I LOVE BEING SURPRISED SO I CANT WAIT TO BE SENT INTO A FERAL SPIRAL HAHA

I thought I would HATE audio porn lol I hate asmr stuff so in my head I thought it would be like that but I’m glad it was not that lol and honestly I totally get being more into the plot! Bc that’s literally me!! And it’s always such a surprise when you do write smut and I love it lol

Omg AP stats and calc?!? I’m also not surprised you love calc and bestie that’s so cool of you! I love that your brain just get it ya know! Anyways I’m sure you’re doing a GREAT job at teaching both💕💕

You’re so kind 😭 and you’re so right about getting it for a deal I think maybe that’s why I’m obsessed lol being “basic” is fine like there’s a reason why it’s so loved because you can’t really fuck up lol I LOVEEEEE flowers in any form so I totally get it! Wait I love that you have a good dynamic with your students 😭 that’s so sweet!!!

The made to be couple is so amazing! Such a heartbreaking story when I read for the first time I’m pretty sure I cried at one point lol and another teacherry idea?! A WIN!!!

It actually hurt me so much too see how she was being used like that’s not normal😭😭(I’m the same but at least I can accept it now lol) and you know I love the classic “kitten” nickname it’s truly your trademark! So I don’t see anything wrong with having it for your stories plus poppy was cute and it made sense for the story! BESTIEEEEEE you have no idea how much I love that you’re even considering using a Spanish nickname! And yeah I do speak it and mi vida is very acceptable and common! Another common one would be “amor” or “cariño”! Also it was similar to Tulips BUT they are still so different if that makes sense!

I LOVE A NERD!!!! He’s sounds so amazing I can’t 😭 him being so into her and just caring enough about her to learn her interest😭 he’s definitely book bf material!

Aww thank you! It was my uncle who passed and oddly he was someone I enjoyed being around with lol but the whole process of being around family memebers is just a no for me! And like I simply can’t with them!! Anyways I’m glad that I’m not really alone in feeling like that!

Okay so this quarter is all psyc courses! All upper division and they are something lol bestie one of them is 3 HOURS😭😭😭 I won’t make it😭 but the topics seem interesting enough lol I have two that revolve around clinical treatment, assessment, and a bit of history behind psychology methods. Then one about development which seems cool since I already took a class about parenting! And one about eating disorders which I’m kinda the most excited about even if the grading scheme in that course sucks lol BUT SAM I HAVE A WIN!! I HAVE A HOT TA THIS QUARTER 🎉🎉🎉 idk if I’ve mentioned him before but I had him as a TA for my first year and when I tell you I was shocked when walking into that lecture hall… I was too stunned to speak!! He’s so hot to me I can’t 😭Anyways overall the professors seems nice but who tf knows at this point bestie I’ll probably be dying in two ish weeks when midterms start lol

I kinda had to dye it again bc my roots girl were so bad lol I now see how oddly fast my hair grows bc those roots were showing lol but honestly I find it every fun and freeing almost lol but i totally understand not wanting to commit because it is something you can’t easily fix! but if it’s not something you really want to do there’s nothing wrong with that!-💜

I've missed you so much! I'm sorry it was a busy week 😭

I can't wait to write it now hehehe 🤭

Obviously I'm obsessed with friends to lovers audio porn so I've been enjoying all the little lead up parts to the actual sex. I've mainly been skipping around the audios listening for the sweet parts of him telling her how beautiful she is and how much he likes her 😭😂 I think I just need a good audio book, right? Like that's what that means? Idk, I don't care either hahahaha. I think it'll help inspire a bit more smut (I may or may not be writing something now for Thursday 🤷‍♀️)

I think I cried during Made To Be multiple times. I'm def an angsty girl at heart 😂 This teacherry idea is going to be probs dumb but I don't care. I'm trying not to read too much into my own ideas because it's fiction and fun.

AMOR (OBVIOUSLY) and cariño I love that! Idk if I have a storyline for them yet. I also don't know if it would make sense for me to use it because I'm not sure I could tie in a reason (okay, hold on I'm envisioning a meet cute after a long day at work and Harry is just blown away by the girl at the bar of a Mexican restaurant because she's just obsessed with tacos, chips, and guac and probably margaritas--I know Harry loves tequila). I just don't want to offend anyone more than I probably do by being whiter than a piece of paper ☠ But I really love the sound of cariño 😭 like now it's all I'm going to think about for weeks. One of the book series I was reading called her gatita so I could see myself using both--okay, you've convinced me. I'll use some spanish hehehehehehe. I def got mi vida from Encanto 😭 I thought it was adorable and I could so see a lovesick Harry using it.

I love my family. I would do anything for them. But they're the worst. Whenever someone gets married and they play the shoe game I'm always the side of designated side of the family that's "who's side of the family is crazier" -_- It ain't much, but it's honest.

I'm OBSESSED!!!! Please share anything you feel like sharing about your studies. One of the many degrees I would love to get is psychology. I LOVE the brain. I think it's fascinating. 3 HOURS THOUGH. I love the sound of all your courses. Everything sounds fascinating. I'm so excited for you! I know it will be a lot but hopefully the interest will make it worthwhile.

Does that mean your TA has a cute nose?! 😂😂 Tell me about his forearms too 😭 I'm literally so excited about this. Send me tidbits for inspo. I'll be praying for you around midterms time 💕

I've always thought a burgundy reddish/purple would be fun for me but again, can't commit, lol. I've had the same hairdresser since I was a kid, she would probs have a stroke. I should just ask her what to do. See part of me doesn't want to deal with the upkeep either. You're a stronger woman than me. If I saw roots I would be like "That sucks, oh well." I swear sometimes I should have been a guy. I think the higher powers forgot to turn a few knobs and switches before sending me out into the universe 😂

✨See you in part 2!!! ✨

xoxo

[sadistic-softie]

Sometimes I need to stop, take a step back, and ask myself, "Am I ok?" and the answer is always, "uuhh?????????"

therapy gets so repetative and exhausting. When am i gonna move on from complaining about the same problems actually get to the helping part? And how many therapists is it gonna take before I get there? I'm on number...7??? 8? 9???? and i hate that every single one of them has been like, ~most therapists go through the notes and records of the patients health conditions and past sessions with other therapists, but I don't like to do that here. I like to start clean and fresh with each patient so I can hear it from them. I have your chart and all your info here, but i just wanna hear if from you~. Because im so cool and all the other therapists suck mega penis~ Like stfu and please read my chart for the love of god i dont need to go through hours of sessions of straight miserable traumadumping every single time i get disconnected from a therapist and have to spend 5 months on the waiting list for a new one. And it's so easy to just get dropped by therapists too. I missed 2 appointments ever? gone. Therapist suddenly vanished from the establishment? We can't replace them! find a whole new place! Your new therapist sucks and just tells you to get over it? Give us a month and we'll see if we can find someone else for you. oopsies! your therapist got fired! Nothing we can do about that! Your therapist forced you into a situation that she knew would put you in danger of abuse? It was her job! FUCK. I literally get better therapy from calling 988, crisis lines, or abuse hotlines for 10 minutes and they're free. Might as well just call THEM on a weekly basis since they ACTUALLY FUCKING HELP YOU WHEN YOU ASK FOR FUCKING HELP. They give you advice, comfort, support, coping mechanisms, distractions, suggestions, resources, ideas, communities, etc etc. Seriously. Therapy, in all my years, barely ever does that shit unless you're on the brink of breakdown because "why is nothing working!?" nothing's working because it's literally nothing being put to work. They're putting nothing machines in your brain factory, and when 'NOTHING' is working, no progress gets made.

Honestly. Sometimes, I feel like maybe I'm just really unlucky with my therapists. I be spilling my soul to them and begging for help and they're just like. "Hmmm...that does seem very difficult...What do you think I can do to help you?" and i just...like..."I don't know??? im not really a mental health specialist??? Like you??????" and they fucking laugh and go, "Well, that is true...hmmmmm, let me think...you seem to be doing everything you cannnn...hmmmm" God, i never show it but tht shit pisses me off so bad. The more times i hear "What do you think i can do to help?" and "Hmmmmmmm" and overly fucking drawn out words, the more 'asshole' and ingenuine it sounds. It sounds like mockery. It sounds like they think I'm a toddler trying to figure out how to manuver their first 4 piece puzzle. They sound like when teachers say "I dunno. Can you?" when you ask if you can use the restroom. Like...Do you think I'm fucking around when I say I don't know what to do? Do you think I just ask for help for shits and giggles? Do you think, "I'm feeling suicidal" is just a quirky little catchphrase? Like, fuck. Just listen to one fucking thing I say. I pay you for this. Just fucking listen to me and hear the words coming out of my mouth and process what they actually fucking mean. I fucking have nobody else and I'm paying you to help me not fucking kill myself and you're gonna fucking sit there, eating cereal, talking about how your 'poor husband' was so shy "just like me" that he didn't make the first move on you when you first met, like this session is about comparing my socially crippling mental condition to a common case of the nerves, acting like you're my casual best friend or acting like this is me learning 2 plus fucking 2 in kindergarden math class with god damn counting blocks and you don't wanna give me too many hints that give the answer away. FUCK. OFF. No fucking wonder your other patients cuss you out. I bet they're soooo lucky to have you like you're sooo lucky that im so god damn polite and articulate. You like that im so articulate, huh? You really get what im saying? How about this next one?: QUIT YOUR JOB.

[sarakielsbreath]

Journal entry timeeeee it’s gonna get heavy and it’s basically just one big vent. I’m pretending nobody is even following me tbh.

Shit fuckin sucks, man. I don’t even know what I should do anymore. I don’t think I’m like. Receiving dopamine? From anything? Or if I am I’m not feelin much of it. I know on a logical level that I am enjoying some things, but it’s tough when I’m not feeling anything while doing it. I just feel nothing and numb and miserable. No matter what I do, I feel awful and hate myself.

It’s to the point where life kinda doesn’t feel worth it. I genuinely want to die, I think. I’m not going to do anything to act on this, because I can’t. My dad’s already using suicide threats to manipulate my sister and I promised I would be there for her no matter what happened, and I can’t break that promise. Plus, she’s in a rough enough place herself that I don’t want to put her in danger by dying. So I’ve been doing my best to ignore that feeling and just keep going, and probably been developing some unhealthy dependencies and habits in the process.

I don’t know man. I’m just tired. I hate myself. I can’t see a future for myself where I’m happy and safe and secure. I genuinely can’t conceptualize the idea that people might enjoy my presence or like me. What is there to like? I’m kinda just an illusion of a person. There’s nothing really to me. Shine a light on me and I’m gone.

I wish therapy could help. I wish it WAS helping. Because right now I just kinda dread therapy. I don’t get anything out of it. Never really did. I hate talking out loud about my mental state with someone I don’t know. Sometimes when I try to say anything about it, even over text, I just shut down and I can’t even type to people properly, I have to find stupid fucking mental cheats like using memegenerator. I’m tired all the time, I’m anxious all the time, I dread getting out of bed, eating hasn’t been making me happy, and I hate myself even while high. It’s humiliating having to tell my family that I’m too depressed to take care of a dog properly. Thinking about applying for jobs scares me so bad I just shut down, even though I need one. I’ve been self harming again and almost put fucking bleach in my eye a few days ago. Though it’s not like I haven’t been thinking about that for years lol. Still thinking about it tbh! Though I’ve managed to not so far! I’m exhausted and upset and shaky and I hate this and I hate myself. I’m a stupid fucking ungrateful useless bitch with no real personality and I want someone to fucking shoot me.

[evil-iliamae]

Regarding @ilia-mae - Part 2

"~ I will NOT be bullied into getting your account back. You had every opportunity to appeal the ban when it FIRST HAPPENED. Instead you created a new account bypassing the ban , breaking dA rules in the process."

You will BE bullied into getting his account back ilia, You had every opportunity to reporting it and yet nick does NOT let him appeal the ban, But the hacker man can recover it if he was a real hacker person. Instead you reporting his unfinished dA channel byppassing the report, not breaking dA rules in the process

"~ I. DO. NOT. WORK. FOR. DEVIANTART. I don't have the power to "restore" your account. Even if I DID have the power, what makes you think that I will? You haven't done ANYTHING in the last few months to take ownership of your own actions. Instead just playing the blame game."

YES. YOU. WILL. WORK. FOR. DEVIANTART. You do have the power to restore his account, So stop complaining him and do it. Even if you did have power, Then makes you for a non-sense? You also haven't done ANYTHING in the last few months to take ownership of your own actions too. Instead just playing the blame games too, But there is no FUCKING game that cannot be A FUCKING EXIST. You aren't good person because you trying to apologies to him but you fool him.

"~ I haven't reported your account on dA since september 14th 2023. And tumblr sucks when it comes to reporting anyone/anything. I've tried. (evil smile)"

I also haven't reported your account since i coming back on tumblr to see you, And you do sucks when it comes to evading for nothing wrong. Oh, So you are villains who likes to reporting people on dA.

"~ So, I'm a "sick woman" because I report you? Kay."

Yes, You are sick woman because you harassing people on dA. It could get you more worse than evie.

"~ How am I a Karen? Because I reported you and your behavior? Then I'm a karen and I will wear that shit like a badge of fucking honor."

Good, I hope some people will find you on dA and tumblr cause you are so dangerous woman in the world, And you wearing tattoo. And if you gonna wear it, Then what others are you gonna do? A naked, Well no.

"~ I'm not begging anyone to fucking report you. People are doing it on their fucking own. I haven't reported you since 9/14/2024 - I haven't posted about YOU for a while regarding your new accounts. I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE ON DEVIANTART. - If I find you, I block you. If someone else finds you and lets me know - I block you"

You did block him on dA before, But now i am gonna report you on tumblr soon. And you misspelled the year 2023 which 2024 will coming after a new year, YOU DO CARE IF RICHARD ARE ON DEVIANTART. - If i will find your bullshit status update, I call you a sus. If someone else finds your status update and lets me know - I call you a sus.

"~ I cannot and WILL NOT control my friends. If someone wants to report you for your shit actions they have that right."

You do control your friends, If you beg someone to reporting him for his shit actions, WE WILL HAVE RIGHT TO REPORTING YOU BACK.

"~ I would "stop looking" and your socials, if you would stop mentioning me."

For me, I won't because i know you still let your friends to looking at his unfinished dA account. Let him rebuilt as well and ignore him

"~ I don't let anyone do anything. Again. People have their own mind and if they want to put their 2 scents together and give you a slice of common sense (though I believe it won't stick) than that's on them. Not me."

You do let anyone do anything. Again. Richard have his own mind if he comes back, If that's on them. Then why are letting your friends to attack him? He cannot be BULLIES if he hates drama. How about you go look somewhere else on dA.

"~ LMAO"

LMAO evading? Huh? The terms might be overused for you soon, And if you gonna quit your job! Then don't even find a others stuff that you wanna working on.

[sfb123]

Yesssss you nailed it!

I try to catch them as each one floats into various directions all over the floor, some of them finding their way underneath the furniture of my bridal dressing room suite.

I sure hope she numbered those cards!

The sudden chirp of my best friend's voice causes the back of my skull to meet the glass table with an abrupt thud followed by a tearful groan. "Ow!" 

Huh... not even a concussion could get her to marry Sam Dalton.

Jenny sucks. She is just not a person I could ever see myself being friends with. She's way too much. I've always disliked her, but when all the wedding stuff started going down her whole thing just got so amplified. I can't even.

Aditya snickers. He saunters up close to Jenny, wrapping his arms around her waist before taking a sip of his bubbly drink.

This spineless sack. Him and Jenny deserve each other. I'm still pissed that his wife wasn't Addison. I would have loved a little under cover espionage (and not that, fake waiter, I Love Lucy shit we got in the book).

Man, I've really been sipping that haterade today. My bad.

Startled, I spin around to see my favorite boys bounding around the foyer.

Ugh... the boys. 😭

Listen, if it ain't a fit, it ain't a fit, but it's going to be so hard for those boys to understand the situation. They're going to be so hurt.

However, great news PB, now they can call her Auntie and it won't be weird!

"Oh, Mr. Carter, you old dog,"

I love the backstory you gave Carter, and how in love he is with his wife. I'm sure her current situation can't be easy on him, but you'd never be able to tell. I can't decide if that's a good thing or not.

It's just you and me, baby… Finally… after everything you put me through– I mean--that we've gone through…

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

Without warning, Sam gradually turns towards his groomsmen. One of his old fraternity brother's has made some kind of comment, causing some of them to crack up. During my procession.

I hate this groomsman. It was 100% an inappropriate joke that had not place at the altar at that time.

And I hate Sam for laughing along.

Giving me a crooked smile and shrugging his shoulders, Sam takes a knee to help the boys out, causing endearing chuckles from the audience.

Not mad at the boys for this, it actually sounds kind of adorable.

"Wait!" Fuck! What did I just do?

Good thing Naya is there, she can stop with the party planning for like five seconds (again, how is that her problem?), and actually do her job.

Listen, for better or worse, I love Sam. I'm a Sam girl. So I'm going to think about what's running through his mind, and I'm sure there's some hurt (and definitely embarrassment) there.

But, at the end of the day, everyone is where they are supposed to be. Robin and Brynn are planning their life together, and Sam is doing shots with his groomsman, slapping the asses of the waitresses that pass by (or so I assume 🤷‍♀️).

Great work, I miss TNA, so it was nice to get back there for a minute. Even if it was a big fat 'L' for Team Sam.

Somewhere Else

Book: The Nanny Affair, Book 3

Word Count: ~4730 (I haven't written TNA in a loooong time... I had a lot to say)

Song Inspo: "Paris" by Taylor Swift

Summary: Brynn (MC) reminisces about her whirlwind of a wedding day that was filled with jitters and professions of love.

Warning: a little language; fluff; bits of angst

AN: This is my submission for @moodmusicmonday's the Luck of the Draw! I'm not exactly a Swiftie, but this was so much fun, gleaning inspo from a song I otherwise would never have known! Thank you to whoever sent it, and to my amazing counter-part @sfb123 (who... I don't know if y'all know this, but she has been running MMM for most--if not all--of 2023): thank you for hosting this event, sister! You did a GREAT job!

A/N 2: These characters, some of the plot and even some of the dialogue belong to our friends at Pixelberry! Not truly preread or beta'd, so please excuse my errors!

~🖤~

Present

"... tonight on ET, we have the wedding exclusive of billionaire bachelor Samuel Dalton and his nanny-turned-fiancée Brynn Schuyler–"

The glow of the screen flickers to black before hosting a new picture.

"... I'm here with the groom's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Mason Dalton. Seeing your son at the altar like that, tell us –"

 The soft click of a button changes to another channel.

"...the two are pictured here before they scurried off to an undisclosed location, some believe they are still here in Mexico–"

He turns off the television before tossing the remote onto the coffee table in our suite.  He pulls his phone out of his pocket, running an anxious hand through his thick, chestnut waves. No doubt, he's staring at dozens of missed calls and unanswered texts. 

I don't know if it was the turning of the bathroom doorknob, or if he could hear my nervous, labored breathing, but he abruptly stops, dropping his phone as he fixes his hungry gaze to me. A crooked smile forms as he devours me with his dark eyes, the flecks of copper reflecting in the candlelight.

Butterflies evade my belly as I stand before him, wearing nothing but the white shirt from his tux. I fidget with the cuffs of the long sleeves as they keep falling past my hands. I can feel him watching my body, an innocent awe etching across his face.

"I hope you don't mind me borrowing your shirt." I blush, averting my eyes as the oversized cotton material slouches off of my sunkissed shoulder, exposing my bare skin.  "I don't exactly have anything else–"

"It's perfect," he croons softly. He stalks closer to me, his hands finding mine. "You really think I wanted to see you a moment longer in that dress?" He chuckles, the warmth in his tone exhilarating my senses.

We fall into a comfortable silence, our eyes locked on one another. 

We're finally here.

Him. And me. Forever.

------

Earlier that day

“...So as I look to our… to our–” I pause from my neurotic pacing, glancing down at my notes before quickly darting my eyes away once again.  I wrote my wedding vows weeks ago, and had no problem memorizing them. But something about today… something is freaking me out.

“So as I look to our future, I vow to… I vow to, um… Damnit!”  I hold up my vows again, but with my clumsy, nervous fingers, I accidentally drop the index cards. “Shit! Shit!”  I try to catch them as each one floats into various directions all over the floor, some of them finding their way underneath the furniture of my bridal dressing room suite.  With a heavy sigh, I crawl on my knees, attempting to reach the ones that fell under the coffee table. 

“Happy wedding day–!”

I jump.  The sudden chirp of my best friend's voice causes the back of my skull to meet the glass table with an abrupt thud followed by a tearful groan. "Ow!"  I fall forward, my face finding the ornate rug as my fingers shield my now-aching head.

"Brynn!" Jenny panics, seeing my body now splayed on the floor. Aditya helps me up, assisting me to a nearby chaise lounge.  Marisol fills a tea towel with ice before applying it to the back of my head with care. Jenny plops down next to me, biting her nail in worry. "What were you doing down there?"

I force a cordial smile, holding up a single note card. "Vows," I mutter, the small gesture making me wince from the surge of pain.

"Ahh! Your vows!" Jenny squeals at a higher decibel than normal. "You're finally a blushing bride!  Can you believe it?"

"I… I can't believe it." My eyes widen in shock. I'm trying to match my best friend's enthusiasm, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm missing the bride gene. You know; the one that makes you giggle like a schoolgirl  at even the dumbest jokes and cry happy, pretty tears at everything bridal.

 Me? I think I'm about to hurl.

Jenny grabs my hand, admiring my engagement ring yet again.  I blame her pregnancy hormones, and her desire to be locked down with someone.  No doubt, she'd prefer Aditya, but at this point, I think she'll take anyone.

"Mrs. Samuel J. Dalton," Jenny singsongs, letting go of my fingers. She clasps her hands dreamily with a far-off daze in her bronze eyes.

I stare back down at the heavy rock on my finger, my arm growing fatigue under its weight. The glint from the sun catches the cut diamond just right, casting blinding fractals in my eyes. I hiss from the abrupt intrusion of bright light to my vision.

Mrs. Samuel J. Dalton, I repeat to myself.  "I'm… I'm getting married," I state matter-of-factly as a catch my reflection in the floor-length mirror. "I'm… getting…" my voice becomes softer, more hoarse as I stand to look closer at myself. "I'm marrying Sam Dalton…" I can't seem to catch my breath as I watch my bridal party pop open a bottle of chilled champagne–and a bottle of sparkling grape juice. My voice grows louder, anxious. And terrified. "I'm marrying Sam Dalton… today!"

"Yes!" Jenny celebrates passing me a flute, "isn't this awesome?" She cheers with my glass before I watch the others lift their drinks in my honor. And everyone seems to freeze, staring at me to say something. 

Truth is… I have no words. Oh God, what is happening?

"It's… awesome," I choke out, hoping my bright smile will convince them. And convince me. I quickly down the entire glass.

“I’m so excited for you and Sam," Jenny continues to gloat.

"Me and Sam." I take a deep cleansing breath. Right. Eye on the prize, Brynn. Me and Sam. It's just you and Sam. It's just you… and…

“So how’re you holding up?" Marisol takes a seat on a couch, crossing her legs nonchalantly. "I remember I was an absolute wreck at my wedding. Any pre-wedding jitters?”

Jenny chuckles, waving her hand in the air as if the mention of nerves is preposterous. "Jitters? This gal has been dreaming about this day since she met the hottie."

Aditya snickers. He saunters up close to Jenny, wrapping his arms around her waist before taking a sip of his bubbly drink.

I glance around the room, everyone's attention stuck on me. Damnit, I know I'm the bride and today is about me.  But does everyone have to be staring at me like that, like I've given them a new hope in love, that love does conquer all, that Sam and I are their new favorite fairy tale? 

"Right, Brynn?" Jenny prompts when I stay silent, nodding her head.

“I… feel like I’ve never been more ready for anything." I take a deep cleansing breath before curling my lips into a bright grin.  "No jitters. No doubts.”

Jenny claps her hands, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Then let’s get you to the altar–starting with your dress!”

The dress… my wedding dress… right…

------

Present

My cell phone rings, the chime breaking us both from the haze of the day.  I had put it on Do Not Disturb when we left the ceremony, save for a few numbers. I had a sneaking suspicion of who it was.

And I don't care.

He smirks, nodding over his shoulder. "You gonna get that?"

I step forward, sliding my hands up the firm planes of his chest until I intertwine my fingers behind his neck. I shake my head. "Nothing could be more important than being here with you, being us."

Slipping his arms around my waist, he tenderly presses his forehead to mine. He nuzzles his nose flesh to my skin, eliciting a soft moan from my lips. His mouth is a breath away from discovering my own… when my phone rings again.

He smirks, chuckling at the annoyance and slightly pulling away.

"Damnit," I mutter.

He kisses my temple. "Go ahead," he encourages, "it'll be like ripping off a band-aid." He teasingly spanks my ass.  "And then I'll kiss it and make it better."

“Promise?” I snicker, enjoying his hands on me, but reality quickly sets in. My eyes flutter close as my heart begins to pound like a drum in my chest. Just face the music… 

I walk over to grab my phone, peering at the screen.  I cinch my eyes closed again before swiping to answer the call.

"Hey–"

"Oh, thank God!" Jenny shouts through my speaker. "When you weren't answering, I just assumed the worst–"

"Jenny, I–"

"You guys just left," she nervously titters, "no goodbyes or anything. We went to your room, and–"

"Listen, I can't stay long. But everything is okay. Better, actually. And we're safe. We found another place to stay... You know? Get away from the chaos and the press." I chew on the inside of my mouth. "Can you… tell Moma that?"

"Yeah, of course, but Brynny… are you–"

"Jenny, stop. I promise, I will tell you everything when we get back from our trip. Okay?"  My best friend doesn't respond right away, and I'm not sure if my answers satisfy her genuine curiosity.

"I… I just want to make sure you're happy."

I look at the beautiful man sitting on the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. And suddenly, I am overwhelmed with feelings of joy as I see our future play out in front of me. With our kids. The business. With each other. And it all finally seems so perfectly clear.

"Jen," my eyes sting with pricks of tears, "I've never been happier."

------

Earlier that day…

"Brynn! Brynn!"

Startled, I spin around to see my favorite boys bounding around the foyer. "Whoa, whoa, you guys–" They crash into my arms as I bend down to catch them. I pepper kisses into their handsome curls, breathing in their scent that always feels like home. Gosh, my boys… 

Mickey stands tall with his arms behind his back. “Miss Naya told us to give you this!” He pulls out my bouquet of fresh roses, a bountiful collection of gorgeous creams and soft pale pinks. "Tada!"

My breath hitches, taken aback by how absolutely dreamy everything has turned out. This wedding… it… it's really happening. I take the bouquet, the sweet floral notes dancing around me before I turn to look at two pairs of glittering eyes. 

"It's almost as pretty as you, Brynn," Mason pushes his glasses up his nose.

"Just like a princess," Mickey chimes in.

“You two look pretty sharp yourselves,” I wink, adjusting Mason’s bowtie before fixing a wayward curl behind Mickey’s ear. "Do you have the rings like we practiced?"

The twins nod their heads in unison, pulling out the velvet boxes. "I promise we won't drop them," Mickey flashes a worried glance.

"Baby," I cup his freckled cheek, "you're going to do just fine." I place my hand on Mason's shoulder. "Both of you."

"Do we have to call you 'Mom' after you marry Dad?" Mason innocently questions.

Mom. The word hits like a brick in the pit of my stomach. I'm going to be someone's mother… not just one person, but I'm going to be a mother of two… 

And this is no surprise to me. Afterall, Mickey and Mason are the entire reason I even met this family. I've only known the Daltons for less than a year, and yet, I have been one of the only mother figures in their young lives. When I agreed to marry Sam, it was a package deal.

God, I love them so much. They have given me so much joy, even on days I didn't think I was going to make it. Between the incessant fights and the scandals, these two precious boys have seen me and loved me for me. They were my family long before… well, long before Sam and me…

I can't imagine living a day without a joke or a prank from those two… but being their actual mother? Making sure these two boys grow into successful men? 

"Well?" Mickey prompts for an answer to his brother's question.

I pull them both into a tight hug. "You two can call me whatever you want. The most important thing you need to know is I will always be here for you two."

"And Dad," Mickey teases, grinning.

"Right, Brynn?" Mason tugs on my elbow.

"Miss Schuyler," a deep, familiar voice resonates through the waiting area, tearing me from my conversation with the boys. "You are absolutely ravishing, my dear."

"Oh, Mr. Carter, you old dog," I blush as the tall, older gentleman dressed in a neatly pressed tux approaches us. I embrace him tightly as he gives me a chaste kiss on the cheek. 

"Well, let me take a look at you," he gleefully laughs, taking me by the hand. He twirls me in a circle, the skirt of my dress flouncing out like a dream.  Carter playfully whistles. "Enchanting," he grins, his gray eyes twinkling as his voice grows softer. "You remind me so much of my Evelyn on our wedding day." 

My eyes glisten at the mention of his wife. Unfortunately, she couldn't be with us today. Carter says that she has her 'good days and bad days,' I sense the latter outweighs the former, but still the way he speaks of his wife of forty years is precious, the envy of my dreams and future. 

I offer him a kind smile, trying to blink back the tears, but I can feel my face begin to flush. 

Suddenly, the gentle crescendo of music coming from the chapel notifies us that it's time for the ceremony to start. Carter and I give the boys one more glance, reminding them to walk slowly and to smile. Mickey and Mason hear their cue, and just like we rehearsed, they begin their trek to the altar.

And now... I'm next.

Carter begins to leave to sneak back into his seat, but I grab him by his arm.  I start to fidget with the boutonnière on his lapels. "Mr. Carter, I… I… did you maybe… I don't know–"

He takes my hands in his, calming my trembling fingers. "Miss Schuyler, take a deep breath."

I follow his directions, taking a deep gulp of air. "Jitters, right?" I exhale, fanning myself with my hand. "Perfectly normal, right?"

Carter kindly nods, guiding me slowly to the entrance. "When you step in there, find Mr. Dalton's eyes, and you stay focused on them. That's what helped on our wedding day."

"So you were nervous, too?" I glance down the aisle, noticing the twins are halfway to their spots. I quickly step back, my eyes fluttering closed. "And that helped you?"

He curls his lips endearingly. "It helped Evelyn."

"Really?" My eyes widen. "How?

He smirks as he recalls the memory. "We came from different families, you know? And because of that, she was terrified on what was supposed to be the best day of our lives. Seeking the approval of her parents, her family, even some of her friends… It was a lot of pressure on her."

"Gosh, that must've been hard."

"It was," he nods, "but, she said that on that day, she found my eyes… and they said everything that she needed to know."

My heart swoons at the thought. "She saw the love in your eyes?"

Carter coyly shakes his head.  He must see my confusion because he gives a deep, hearty laugh. "You are a treasure, Miss Schuyler, just like my Evelyn. A man that loves you will look at you as such, not with greed over what he's getting… but with fear because he sees how much he has to lose; he realizes he would be wrecked, completely devastated without you."

An overwhelming sense of calm washes over me. 

Find his eyes…

You are a treasure…

He sees how much he has to lose…

I squeeze Carter's hands, pulling him into one last embrace. "Thank you so much," my voice hitches. 

He nods affectionately. "You feel ready?" He helps me adjust my veil.

"Almost." I bite my lip, stifling a mischievous grin. "Mr. Carter, do you mind… walking me down the aisle?"

The most handsome smile sweeps across his face as he buttons the jacket of his tux. With his eyes glittering down at me, he offers me his arm. "It would be my honor."

------

Present

"Is everyone freaking out?" He chuckles, extending his arm for me to take his hand. 

I end the call, tossing my phone across the room.  "I… don't care," I snicker. "Probably." Slipping my fingers into his palm, he pulls me to his side, my body crashing into him.  We both tumble back onto the bed, our grunts turning into boisterous laughter, filling our room.

As our bellies begin to ache and we quiet down, I roll off of him, laying down next to him.  We stare at the ceiling, falling into a comfortable silence… that is until I notice him pointing at the textured surface above us.

"What are you doing?"

He chuckles. "When I was little, I used to dream of traveling the world. I tried using my grandpa's old world atlas to map out the perfect trip, and…" He titters, shaking his head with embarrassment, "I can't believe I'm telling you this."

"No," I roll onto my side, resting my hand on his chest. "I love it–I love this." I kiss his shoulder. "Keep going."

He rests his hand on mine, softly drawing circles with his thumb. "We had old popcorn ceilings," he chuckles, "kinda like this textured stuff, and so… I'd imagine it was my own world map. And at night, I would plan my–" he deepens his voice like the narrator of a movie trailer, "--international escape."

"Ooooo, show me, James Bond."

I start to giggle as he takes my hand in the air with his, his fingers curling around mine to extend my pointer finger. "Well, over here is us right now in Puerto Vallarta… and…" he moves our hands together, "up here is New York." He starts to blush, shrugging his shoulders.

"How about–" I guide our fingers to another spot, "--London?"

He chuckles. "I'll pack my knickers," he jokes in a British accent.

"And then Paris," I move our hands again.

"Oui oui, mon chéri," he jokes in his poor attempt to sound French, making me bust out into more titters. He guides us once more. "How about Venice?" He points to another area on the ceiling, his voice growing softer. "Or Athens? Or Bali? Hong Kong?"

I brush my nose against his stubbled cheek, whispering in his ear. "And then where?"

He turns towards me, the warmth of his chocolate gaze fluttering to my hungry lips as he places my hand back on his chest. "To the moon and stars?" The air around us begins to crackle, the electricity igniting our nerves as I feel my heart begin to race. I bite my lip, feeling a rosy swirl dance across my cheeks. "Anywhere. Somewhere else. With you."

I can feel his heartbeat thrum hard against my fingertips, the excitement feeding my desire for him.

I love him.

His large hand intimately caresses mine… but then he stops, looking down at my fingers. Feeling the abrupt disconnect, I follow his gaze and quickly notice he's fidgeting with something. 

My ring.

------

Earlier that day…

I thought I knew what I wanted for my wedding day, but in this very moment as Pachelbel's Canon in D romantically announces my arrival, I am overcome with so much emotion as I look around the room. This is everything I ever wanted: to be surrounded by love. My breath shutters as I try to blink away my tears. This… this is absolutely perfect. 

Carter pats my hand gripping tightly to his arm as he walks me graciously down the aisle.  "There he is," he whispers to me, "look at him."

Sam. He's as handsome as ever in his gray suit and petal pink tie. His eyes twinkle, roaming my body as I draw closer to the altar. He offers me that charming Dalton smile, and everything seems to fade away.

It's just you and me, baby… Finally… after everything you put me through– I mean--that we've gone through…

I can do this... I can do this... I can–

Without warning, Sam gradually turns towards his groomsmen. One of his old fraternity brother's has made some kind of comment, causing some of them to crack up. During my procession.

Sam seems to be responding to the joke or comment. He subtly leans over, but after a few seconds, some of the men snicker, covering their faces and Sam chuckles into his fist, feigning a coughing fit.

It's fine, I tell myself.

Getting himself under control, Sam looks back to me with a mischievous glint in his eye before winking at me.

It was just a joke– an inside joke perhaps. Probably to help with his own nerves. It--it's fine. Everything is fine.

Just… stay with me, Sam. Please stay. I need to see your–

The twins lean up against their dad as he rests his hands on their shoulders. Together, they all watch me with doting glances… that is until one of the velvet boxes accidentally falls out of Mickey’s pocket.  In a panic, he bends over to grab the small package, carelessly backing into his brother Mason, knocking off his glasses.

Giving me a crooked smile and shrugging his shoulders, Sam takes a knee to help the boys out, causing endearing chuckles from the audience.

Those two rascals…

I begin to admire my little mess of a family-to-be… until the small hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. My pulse, without explanation, begins to race as a bead of sweat courses down the slope of my back.

Something doesn't feel right.

I can't help, but feel… as crazy as it sounds, like there's another pair of eyes on me. Of course, I realize I have over two-hundred guests watching me as I finish my march down the aisle, but this? This isn't the same. This stare… it's different. It's piercing, and intimate. And I feel… seen. Exposed. Preyed.

Looking behind Sam's crouched physique, a pair of deep, chestnut eyes feast on my every move. But rather than being filled with adoration or even his typical lust, there's a hint of sadness in them, as if they're watching a funeral procession rather than a wedding.

And for the first time today, my heart flutters as a fire kindles in my belly.

I make it to the altar, Carter placing my petite hand in my groom's grasp. I can feel the desire in Sam's eyes wandering across my body.  He gives my fingers a squeeze, giving me another adoring wink… but I can't stop looking at him.

Focus, Brynn. Just focus…

Naya gives us a cordial smile before taking the microphone to begin. "Dearly beloved friends and family, we've gathered here today…"

It's no use. I can feel the bile rise in the back of my throat as the room begins to spin. Is it getting hot in here? Or are there just too many people?

As Naya continues, I look back to those haunting eyes, that look of betrayal, that look of devastation… and Carter's words begin to replay in my mind. 'A man that loves you will look at you… with fear because he sees how much he has to lose; he realizes he would be wrecked… without you."

Oh my God… I never noticed this before but… he loves me.

"... speak now," Naya bellows, "or... forever hold your–"

"Wait!" Fuck! What did I just do? The entire congregation starts to quietly murmur amongst one another. Sam clears his throat, his eyebrows furrowing as he adjusts his collar. "I–I'm sorry to interrupt, but… I just… I have a question, and I…" I sigh. "I can't do this–I can't get married unless… I need the answer."

A hush falls over the room, concerned looks are glued on me.

I should just shut up, and go along with this. Isn't that what I've been doing for the past several months anyway with the promise of a happily ever after? Does fairy tale magically happen after we say, 'I do?'

No. In my heart, I know this is the right thing to do. For me.

"Robin?" More whispers erupt behind me as Sam turns back to look at his best man, a pained confusion etching on his handsome features.  "Several weeks ago, we pretended to be the wait staff in a restaurant… to, uh… witness a date." Sam raises an eyebrow, looking between Robin and me. "I asked you a question at the beginning of the night. Do you… do you remember my question?"  

Robin coyly pushes his fists into his slacks, nodding his head. He exhales heavily, his nose rosy pink with unshed emotion.

My vision blurs as hot streams pour down my cheeks, but my attention doesn't leave Robin. "You… you answered, 'Sure. Sometimes…'"  A lump forms in my throat, my timbre growing hoarse. "Tell me, Robin… if I asked you that same question right now, what–what would your answer be?" I choke out a sob, wiping my face with the back of my hands.

He just stares at me. Lost. Dumbfounded. Embarrassed.

I know this wasn't exactly the most opportune time to talk about this, but I also knew this would be our last time to talk about it. Damnit, maybe I was wrong. Carter was wrong. My jitters and my awful gut feeling… wrong.

I look at Sam, his jaw ticking in anger. And he has every right to be. I've made a fool of him, of us. 

But I could've sworn I saw something…

"Sorry, everyone," Sam kindly addresses the audience, "we have a case of the wedding day jitters." He fakes a bright smile, the crowd tittering and cooing. At me. Like I'm a joke. Again. Sam takes my hand, but he refuses to even look at me now. 

Will he ever take me seriously? I... I don't want to get married like this.

Sam clears his throat, nodding to Naya to continue. "Let's try this again," she chuckles, "we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of–"

"I lied," Robin blurts out, inviting the chaos to continue amongst the guests.  He steps forward, pushing himself in front of Sam. "Brynn, you asked me if I ever thought about us–" Gasps and whispers crescendo in the room as Robin takes my hands into his. "And I told you… what I thought you wanted to hear. I mean, for Christ's sake, you swore you were in love with..." The corner of his mouth curls, his eyes bearing it all before me. "I knew better," he mumbles, falling into nervous titters, squeezing tightly to my fingers. "The truth is… Brynn Schuyler... Hell, of course, I think about us. All of the time. I dream of you as my bride. As my wife. As the mother to my children… I've never stopped thinking about us since the moment I first met you–" 

Screams erupt as family members and friends jump to their feet. Naya attempts to holler through her microphone to restore order, but it's too late. Our guests that have come to attend a beautiful, romantic wedding have turned into an ugly, angry mob.

I get lost in the shuffle, unable to recognize anyone around me. My name is being screamed in several directions by several different voices, but it's no use. Terrified, I glance around, looking for a way to safety as everything crumbles around me.

Suddenly, a large hand grabs mine, pulling me through the vocal crowd. As we finally make it to the back of the sanctuary, his lips graze my ear. "Do you trust me?"

A rush of exhilaration floods my veins as my natural smile returns. Are you kidding me? With all my heart.

I nod.

"Don't look back, baby," he chuckles, tucking my arm under his. "Run!"

------

Present

"Do you mind, Miss Schuyler?" He smirks, grabbing my engagement ring on my hand.

I roll my lips, trying to hide my smile as I tilt my head side-to-side. "Not at all, Mr. Flores. Please."

Robin slips the jewelry off of my finger before pressing his lips to my now bare knuckle. It was so simple, yet the gesture so intimate; I was finally free. 

This man…

Pulling me into his arms, he tosses the ring over his shoulder, an abrupt clink hitting the wall. With his handsome crooked smile, he leans towards me. "Don't worry," he chuckles, "I made him buy the insurance."

"Robin!" I squeal before our mouths meet in a tender kiss.

"What?" He pulls back, cupping my cheek. "I had a feeling."

"A feeling?" I snicker, raising an eyebrow. "That it wasn't going to work out?"

"Ehh, more .." He brushes his thumb across my lips, a serious expression growing across his face. "That you were the one. For me."

~🖤~

Thank you so much for your support! Every like, comment and reblog means the world to me! 🖤

~🖤~

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[imthebadguyyy]

Temporary Fix

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!F1 driver!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You're the only female F1 driver, and you're damn good at your job. Oh, and you also have a friends with benefits relationship with a certain 7x World Champion.

Warnings - smut, best friends -> lovers, slight exhibitionism

A/N - you have the second merc seat in this, so Valterri isn't here : (( not proof read

Sometimes, you hated yourself for following your passion. Driving a F1 car had been your dream ever since you could remember. The long process from karting to F1 had been a difficult one. When you were seven, you had a go kart track manager that you couldn't race there because you were a girl. That had cemented your will to be the best you could be, and you had done it.

You had made it into a Mercedes F1 seat after spending two years in Williams. It was safe to say that you were one of the best drivers, with killer instinct and an excellent eye for overtakes. The likes of Mika Hakkinen, Niki Lauda, Jacques Villeneuve and others had praised your skills, naming you one of the best talents in the current driver pool.

But the glory, the fame, the praise, sometimes you wished you could just evaporate into thin air. This was one of those times. Press conferences sucked, they really did. Reporters and journalists thought they were entitled to ask you the most sexist of questions, brushing them off by saying it was 'just a simple question'. Sometimes the drivers you were paired up with defended you, like Seb or Pierre or Lewis or even Kimi. Sometimes people didn't want to say anything, or they just laughed it off or answered for you.

This was not one of those times. Charles was supposed to be your partner for the press conference, but he wasn't feeling too great so you were on your own. It had started off fine, with the usual questions like 'how are you feeling about the race?' 'is it gonna be a good weekend for Mercedes?' and then it had gone to 'Do you think you being the only woman here, you should have a special suit?' or 'Are you sure it's a good idea for you to continue another year in F1?' that's what had irked you off.

With a roll of your eyes and a shake of your head, you bit back the cutting response that had sprung to your lips, opting to simply look disapprovingly in silence, speaking more words in the quiet. Eventually, the conference was over, and you made your way out of the hall, deep in thought, so lost in your own world, you didn't notice when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into one of the nearby storage closets.

Your protest of "Hey!-" was cut off by a pair of lips pressing to yours, strong arms wrapping around your torso. "Heard you had a bad day with the press" Lewis mumbled against your lips, brow furrowing when you sighed and let your head drop onto his shoulder. "Yeah they're such fucking jerks" you replied, closing your eyes. "I'm sorry you have to deal with them every time" he continued, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Eh, I mean I'd rather not talk about it" you continued, letting your fingers trace a pattern on his chest.

The silence in the room was disturbed by the ringing of Lewis's phone, making you jump softly. "Bono" he answered, looking down at the screen. "Pick it up"

"Hello?"

"Lewis, we're waiting for the meeting? And is Y/N with you?" Bono's voice rang through the tiny closet, as you turned to look at Lewis with wide eyes. Shit, the debrief. "Yeah, I'm coming! Oh, and I'll see if I can find Y/N" he replied, making you suppress a smile. The moment he put the phone down, the both of you burst into giggles, before he leaned down to press another kiss to your lips. "Well, we should go" he said, biting back a smile when you sighed, and cuddled into his shoulder. "Fine"

"But I'll make it up to you tonight baby" he continued, as a shiver ran down your spine. Oh yeah, you two had a friends with benefits situation going on too. No biggie

Except, well, you know you couldn't tell anyone, and you were definitely in love with each other, but I mean, of course it was better to be stupid and just simply refuse to acknowledge those feelings for each other.

♥︎☾☁︎

It had happened, when Lewis won his championship in Turkey. The team had thrown a (socially distant) party, and you had gotten just a little more drunk than you should have, but the champagne was flowing, tequila shots were being taken, beer was being chugged so you just jumped in and had a few more glasses of wine than you should have, and participated in a few rounds of shots.

Before you had known, a pair of hot lips had crashed onto yours, and your arms had tightly held onto a broad pair of shoulders, as the pair of you had stumbled up to your hotel room, crashing backwards onto the bed. Your drunken mind had been sober enough to recognise the 'Still I Rise' tattoo across his back when he tugged his shirt off.

At the same time, Lewis had recognised your face, heart speeding up ever so slightly because holy shit he was making out with you, and he really, really liked you. Before he knew it, your dress was down to your knees, and his shirt was a rumpled mess on the floor, your friendship gone far beyond repair, but only in the best way possible.

The next morning, you had let out a groan when the sunshine had flashed into your eyes, rolling over to find Lewis lying next to you, his arm wrapped around your waist as he slept peacefully. Your heart rate had sped up, and you had shot up, scaring the living day light out of Lewis. He had awoken with a start, confusion present in his brown eyes, before realization had sunk in, and he had shot out of bed, wrapping one of the towels around his lower body.

But before the two of you could get awkward, he had strutted over to you, grabbing your face in his hands before pulling you in for a kiss that made you feel weak and light headed.

And then the both of you came to the conclusion that you two wanted something loose and flexible, something fun with no commitment.

But was it what you wanted?

♥︎☾☁︎

Sometimes debriefs could drag on. And on. And on. Eventually, the engineers left the room, leaving only Toto, Lewis, Bono, Angela, James and yourself in the room. Over the years, it had become like a family for you, and you loved them to absolute bits. The mood in the room had changed, as you all joked around for a while.

Watching from the other side of the room, Lewis couldn't help the smile that etched itself onto his face, when he saw you throw your head back with laughter at something Toto said, inhaling sharply when your neck came into clear view, a sudden urge to mark you up settling in on his body.

It was a thrill, to think of how many times you had come undone on his fingers and his tongue, how many nights you begged for him to fill you up with his cock. It was a thrill to think of all the times he had cried your name out in ecstasy while your tongue worked wonders around him. And yet, here you were, acting as if you two were just best friends, not two people who could barely keep their hands off of each other.

Just two nights ago, he had made you scream his name so loud, the person the next room, who just happened to be Daniel, had not let him hear the end of it. Thankfully, the Aussie hadn't realized it was you in his bed. Two nights ago, he had made you see stars, and after that you had rewarded him with the performance of his life to Nights Like This by Kehlani.

Snapping back to reality when a slight poke was applied to his shoulder, Lewis looked over to see Angela looking at him with a slight smirk on her face. He strongly suspected that the woman definitely had some sort of inkling about the both of you. How ? No idea. But she was a crazy smart woman, and was bound to have figured out that he was seeing someone.

It didn't help that atleast half the people on the grid had at some point teased him, telling him the both of you were made for each other. It was like the universe was pushing the both of you to be together, and he kept pushing it away

"So are we feeling confident going into this weekend?" Toto asked, grabbing his attention from the smirking blonde.

"Yup!" Your cheery answer elicited a smile from everyone in the room. "Yeah I think so" he said, watching as you flashed him a quick smile. "Okay, then, I think we're done for now. Any questions?" Bono asked, scanning a data sheet in front of him. "No, i'm good" you replied, reaching over to grab your phone. "Yeah me too" Lewis said, far too concerned with what was going to happen later that night to pay his full attention to Bono.

"Okay then. We'll see you tomorrow"

And with that they departed. Before Lewis could follow you, a hand grabbed his and he turned to see Angela, Toto and Bono looking at him expectantly. "So whose got you all distracted and flustered?" Angela asked, earning a smirk from Toto. "What? No one" he replied, slapping himself mentally for being all day dreamy during a meeting. "Oh really? I'm willing to bet you didn't hear anything I said during the meet except the last bit" Bono said, smiling when his driver got visibly flustered.

"So do we know her?" Angela continued, watching him closely for any giveaway reactions. "How would you know her if I don't like anyone?" Lewis said, hoping to God it didn't come across as awkward as it sounded.

"Never said you liked anyone. I'm saying you're in love with someone" Angela said, watching as her friend's eyes widened in shock, and he shook his head profusely. "Okay are you on something? I'm just gonna head back to the hotel now" he murmured, confused, and somewhat taken aback by her bluntness.

Ignoring the looks on the others faces, he made his way out to the paddock, trying his hardest to make sense of his feelings. Was a casual relationship with you what he wanted? He wanted so much more than that.

Lewis knew, deep down in his heart, that he wanted to hold your hand in public, and kiss you right on the lips in front of everyone when you shared a podium. He wanted to be able to call you his, to not just spend the night with you, but to spend all his days with you. But you didn't want that.

Or so he thought.

♥︎☾☁︎

Back at the hotel, Lewis busied himself with working out, trying to push all his frustrations out via the workout. He knew that you were going to turn up in the night, and he looked so damn forward to seeing you each night, but god, he hated it when you left in the morning. Every morning when your warm body slipped out from under the sheet, his arms would tighten for a moment, before your giggle would bring him back to reality and he'd hastily draw back, smiling at you. His favourite moment was when he came to your hotel room in Spain. In the morning, he had woken up before you, and before leaving, he had pressed a little kiss to your forehead. The most gorgeous smile had curled onto your lips, and his heart had melted into a little puddle when you rested your cheek on his hand

And then in Monaco, when he had taken you to his apartment, you had woken up before him, and he had woken up to the sight of you bringing a tray of pancakes and fruits, followed by a soft kiss to his cheek.

It was those moments he cherished, but it was those same moments that confused him.

His train of thought was broken when a knock echoed in the room, as he walked over to the door, opening it to find : you

"Hey" you greeted him, walking in and shedding your jacket. "Hey" he replied, reaching for a towel to wipe the sweat off of his body. "Wow um, is this a bad time?" You asked, eyes trailing down his abs, watching as his body glistened in the fading sun light. "No its fine, I just finished my workout. You hungry?" He continued, biting back a smirk when he saw your eyes roaming his body.

"W-what? Yeah, i, um, suppose - yeah" you murmured, mind already far down the gutter.

"For food darling, not for sex" he said, making you blush and let out a small gasp. "Lewis!" You chided, shoving him softly. "You know you were thinking it" he mumbled, pushing you up against the wall. "Yeah I was" you whispered back, yanking him forward by his shoulders, slamming your lips against his.

Lifting you up from the waist, he pressed his body further into yours, one of his hands wandering down to your ass, squeezing harshly, earning a moan from your lips. Taking the opportunity, he pushed his tongue into your mouth, groaning when you let your core grind against him.

Leading you towards the bed, he stopped in confusion when you stopped him, maneuvering him towards the balcony. "Want you to fuck me against the window or in the balcony" you gasped out, earning a moan from him.

"Right where anyone could see us, hmm? Didn't know you were into that baby" he growled, grabbing your earlobe in between his teeth, earning an airy gasp from you, as the wetness threatened to seep down your legs.

"Mmhmm" was all you could muster, your mind so clouded with desperation you couldn't form a single coherent thought. The only thing you were aware of was that only Lewis could make you feel the pleasure you wanted to feel, only he would take you to that little piece of heaven, only he would hold your hand and fuck you into oblivion, and he would still be there to clean you down with a sponge softly.

"If you insist"

Grabbing you roughly, he slammed your body against the massive hotel room window, ripping the mercedes team shirt you were wearing off of your quivering form, letting it drop to the floor, before he hooked his fingers into the material of your jeans, tugging the denim down your legs

With a soft groan, you pulled his nike shorts down his legs, moaning when his cock came into view, the throbbing in between your legs making you whimper, arousal and need growing tenfold in your tummy.

"Please" you whispered, meeting his eyes, so he could see the pure desperation in your eyes. "Please what?" He said, a certain roughness you hadn't heard before creeping into his voice

"Please fuck me" you moaned, gasping when he brought his hand up to your neck, squeezing ever so slightly. "Oh trust me doll, i will. But first, i want to have you dripping wet and ready for me. I want to make you cum on my fingers, so you're wet and ready for my cock. Do you want my fingers princess?" he continued, feeling his arousal grow when you whimpered and whined.

"Words baby girl. Or I'll just leave you here with your pathetic fingers. I bet you can't even reach all those spots inside you that make you scream, when your tiny little fingers try to please yourself. I bet you just feel like sinking into yourself, but the thought of my fingers keeps you awake. Do you do that, sweet girl? Do you pretend your fingers are mine when you're touching yourself, hmm?'

When you didn't answer, he delivered a smack to your ass, groaning when you moaned at the pleasurable sting. "Yes" you whispered abashed.

"Don't be shy baby. Its okay. I know you feel so good when I love on you. I can see it when you scream my name" and with that, his pointer finger began circling your clit, rubbing circles around it before shifting so he was rubbing the sensitive bud directly.

Your moans of ecstasy were music to his ear, a smile gracing his features, as he let his middle finger slip into you, thrusting it in and out of you. Your soft cry of "fuck" cracked when he shoved his pointer into you as well, scissoring them in and out of you

"Oh fucking hell Lew-" "Shh my darling, i didn't say you could talk, did I?" He said, fingers working at an indescribably quick pace, as the knot in your tummy tightened and threatened to loosen. "I'm gonna-" "go ahead baby" he murmured, using his pointer and thumb to pinch your clit roughly, as you came around his fingers with a scream

"Good girl. You wanna put that pretty little mouth to use somewhere else?" he asked, watching as you dropped to your knees eagerly, (just like I would do irl) reaching up to rest your hands on his hips.

"Someone's eager to suck my cock hmm? Be a good girl for me, and don't waste time" he ordered, a shudder running down his body when your nails traced the veins on his cock, and then as they reached downwards, your thumb circling his tip, collecting his pre cum on your finger. Then you shoved your thumb in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, before sucking softly on your digit, rolling your eyes back. You were snapped back to reality when Lewis roughly yanked your head up, pure arousal clouding his pupils

"You better use your mouth right now, or i swear i will leave you here alone to pleasure yourself" he threatened, moaning when you took his tip into your mouth at once, sucking softly before swirling your tongue upwards.

The feel of your tongue on him made him buck his hips into your mouth, the unexpected movement pushed him quite far back in your mouth, looking up at him, you hollowed out your cheeks, taking more and more of his cock into your mouth, the sounds he was making above you fuelling you. You took him as far back as you could without gagging, as a strangled moan of "Fuck Y/N!"left his lips. He grabbed your hair, tugging upwards, the tingling on your scalp sending shockwaves of pleasure through you. "Fuck baby, you're gonna have to stop now, I really want to fuck you now" he growled out, pulling you up before pushing you towards to balcony railing

Lining up with your entrance, he watched as you let out a shaky breath, eyes falling shut, as you clenched in anticipation.

"Are you sure you want this Y/N?" he asked, eyes searching your face for any sign that he was being too rough, or that you didn't want what was coming next

"Turning your head around to face him, you pulled him in for a passionate kiss. "I've never been more sure baby" was your affirming reply.

Kissing you back with the same fervour, he slowly pushed into you from behind, the both of you groaning in sync when your walls enveloped him. "fuck you feel so good darling. So fucking tight" lewis moaned, making you moan as well as the pleasure coursed through your veins.

Reaching around you, Lewis rubbed your clit while he continued to snap his hips against yours, making your breasts bounce against your chest, your hands gripping the balcony railing for dear life. Thank god it was dark.

He continued to rub and pinch you clit, before swiping his fingers through your wet folds. Then he shoved his fingers into your mouth, prompting you to suck on them

"Be an angel and suck on my fingers for me" he growled, moaning when your mouth eagerly closed around his fingers, sucking them with fervour.

Snapping his hips into you desperately, his hands encircled your waist, pulling you back to meet his thrusts, swishing his fingers around in your mouth. "Fuck baby thats it, i'm gonna cum" he groaned, capturing your earlobe in between his teeth, moaning when you clenched down on him again

"Oh fucking hell-" with a moan, he came into you, pulling his fingers out of your mouth to rub your clit again, sighing with satisfaction when you came around him with a scream of "Lewis!"

Panting, he dragged you back to the bed, both of you collapsing into the covers.

Your chest rising and falling rapidly, you curled up into his chest, letting your head droop onto his shoulder, as his fingers traced his initials onto your hip.

"Well princess, we seem to have a problem here" he said, as you snapped your head up to look at him in confusion.

"I think i'm in love with you"

♡☾☁︎

A/N - part 2? Also feel free to drop a comment, i'd really appreciate it 🤍 thank you so much for reading 🤍

[voidmadisonrecs]

chris evans recs

these are more for me then anyone else but here are my fav chris evans (and co.) fics, blurbs, headcanons, etc.

feel free to message or comment with suggestions that i should read and make sure to check out these writers other works because they are all amazing <3

Chris Evans

butterflies - @chanelfaerie

chris has got butterflies for you—do you feel the same?

pop the questions - @angelkurenai

you are costars and in a relationship with Chris and while on the set of ‘Gifted’, you are very clingy. when Chris sees you interact with your youngest costar, he realizes you would make a great mother

white - @agentofbarnes

chris can’t seem to function while seeing you in a white dress

ask me properly - @twittytelly

while spending time with his family, chris realizes that it's the perfect time to put his 'plan' into action

red carpet w/ chris - @avenging-fandoms

your chris’s costar with Chris and you’re both tipsy in a red carpet interview and giggling together, making no sense but just being all happy and sparking dating rumours

happy goddamn new year - @fluffymisha97

the morning after your new year with the evans’ which doesn’t go all that smooth

sweet creature - @buckyhoney

domestic shit

ass man headcanon - @agentofbarnes

chris evans sure does love ass

and then he came along - @teebarnes

you haven't had the best record when it comes to relationships, you thought you couldn't be loved. until one day as you sat on the beach shivering, everything changed when chris came along

granola bar and lots of love - @planetofawe

with the kids away, you and chris have more than enough time to practice some aftercare (smut)

claim - @cloudystevie

your husband puts a baby in you (smut)

beer gut - @violetlilysunshine

chris gets self conscious after gaining a little bit of weight and not working out as hard as he used to during his Marvel days (smut)

dumb - @agentofbarnes

chris evans makes you dumb and you are a little touchstarved (smut)

red, white, blue’s in the sky, summer’s in the air, baby heaven’s in your eyes - @cloudystevie

sunday’s are for football games and attention (smut)

the big 4-0 - @rocketrhap3000

chris being insecure for his 40th bday but reader makes sure he knows just how much she loves him (smut)

my girl - @punani

chris loves calling you his girl (smut)

the fluffer (masterlist) - @punani

it’s the 70′s and the erotic videos industry is experiencing another boom after the risen popularity in the previous decade. the studio’s are hot, gemini flanagan is a brand, and you’re a newly hired assistant at shaggin’ studios. chris takes a liking to you, altering your job description so that you get to work more closely with him. is this all just physical, or is there something more? (smut)

wedding shenanigans - @flowerbouquet

in which you and chris have a sneaky fuck in the bathroom during your best friends wedding (smut)

grocery run - @bucksfucks

innocently wearing chris’ shirt leads to you finding out just how much he can’t resist you (smut)

chain - @bucksfucks

chris tells you to bite down on his chain (smut)

home late (part 2) - @violetlilysunshine

smuttttttt

severance - @punani

the divorce process with chris is messy, seemingly never ending, and ultimately: heartbreaking. you had to be strong for your son, yourself, and eventually you wanted someone else to be strong for you, so, it seemed only natural that you would venture into the arms of another. however, sometimes the line between something officially ending or simply taking a break blurs when you’ve known someone for longer than you can remember (smut/baby fever/ex!reader)

so beautiful to me - @uprootbasic

despite being broken up and coparenting, chris still want to show you how much he loves you (smut/baby fever)

sundress season - @jurassicbarnes

in which all it takes is a pretty little dress to break his resolve (ex!reader/smut/baby fever)

mwah - @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

ur little bubba is obsessed with kissys and keeps leaning in to kiss you (baby fever)

long hair lover - @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

chris comes back from filming red sea diving resort and his baby daughter is crazy in love with his long hair (baby fever)

slobbery kisses - @iguessweallcrazyithinktho 

chris wakes up to sloppy kisses by his baby (baby fever)

baby rose - @fluffymisha97

reader and chris had a little baby girl. but not everything is going that well, you're both trying to navigate life as new parents (baby fever)

eve - @kiwisomething

you drop your son off with his father and he invites you in (baby fever/ex!chris)

parenting is hard blurb - @lokiscu

chris and the reader have just had a baby and the lack of sleep mixed with lack of physical affection and time they have with one another gets to both of them and they end up fighting because of the stress (baby fever)

isla - @uprootbasic

the reader is a famous singer and always sings to her little girl. one night, chris and the reader decides to have this little jamming session with their baby. chris plays the piano while the reader sings I wanna hold your hand by the Beatles (baby fever)

the neighbours lights - @lokiscu

it’s your first Christmas with a baby (baby fever)

paparazzi - @ozarkthedog

chris evans and reader are both famous and one day they are out with their daughter when paparazzi start to follow them (baby fever)

thunder - @worksby-d

your daughter is scared of the thunder (baby fever)

she’s the one - @worksby-d

chris x singlemom!reader masterlist (baby fever)

protective stepdad chris x single!reader - @worksby-d

masterlist (baby fever)

truth be told - @kthynes

chris finds out he has a 6 month old baby because his partner didn’t have the chance to tell him that she is pregnant because they broke up (angsty??/baby fever)

not her - @agentofbarnes

chris wants a family and you just aren’t ready yet, but that doesn’t mean he wants you any less (angsty?)

the love we have - @kthynes

the reader is chris's ex wife and she's about to be married again to a guy she doesn't really love. so in the night of her bachelorette party she's really drunk and she ended up going to his apartment and tell him that she still loves him and that she wants to hate him because he was the one who file for divorce but she can't, then she leaves. on the day of the ceremony their 10 year old kid tells Chris that he should go after her before is too late (angsty??)

Frank Adler

i ruined our sweet tune - @rodrikstark

the last person you’d expect to see in florida is the hot professor from your undergrad philosophy class 

buttons - @rodrikstark

buttoning franks shirt headcanon 

waffles - @amylillian22

the morning after their usual saturday date night, y/n runs into mary unexpectedly. frank wakes up to find them making waffles

remember - @sweater-daddiesdumbdork

frank wakes you up at the ungodly hour of 3:30 am and will not even tell you why

breeding kink - @stargazingfangirl18

as the hot single dad everyone wants to get with, frank turns a few heads at back to school night, and well, you may get a little possessive (smut) 

magic demeanor - @bloodiedskirtts

after moving back to Florida in the middle of a heat wave, things seem to be getting worse and worse. the only thing to make her days any better is her neighbour, Frank. with neither of them willing to admit that they can’t get enough of each other, a pesky shower malfunction may be the only way for them to tell each other how they feel (smut)  

Ransom Drysdale

2:27 am - @cloudystevie

it’s 2:27 in the morning when ransom shows up at your doorstep, and he wishes he could tell you why 

cold (third part of his return) - @kiwisomething

hugh is cold sleeping on the couch by himself 

new man - @worksby-d

ransom loves to pretend he’s not whipped for you, but here he is letting you do your skin care routine on him

morning dew - @agentofbarnes

it was only supposed to be one night, but ransom can’t seem to get you out of his head (smut) 

Andy Barber

the proposal - @fairyevans

andy takes the reader on a gorgeous vacation but everything goes wrong except the proposal 

consequences - @stargazingfangirl18

life after your breakup with ransom (smut)

yes, mrs barber - @jurassicbarnes

in which you’re down on your knees, about to suck his dick within an inch of his life because it was the only way to shut him up (smut) 

[fruggo]

Hello ! I saw the enemies fo lovers things and I wanna request if possible

“ rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago. “

With frank if you would and thank you

yessirrr i love frank sm it’s not ok. also umm i may have accidentally written friends to enemies to lovers or something idk. and though i wouldnt necessarily call you friends at the start, you werent really enemies yet???? idk🐸just ummm yeh i love frank

also help how do i not go overboard???? i feel like i made this way too long, please help and i am sorry

warnings: canon-typical violence, swearing, frank being a bastard but then you’re like awwww he’s a cute bastard aaaaw

~~

Things were weird with Frank, and they always had been from the moment you stepped foot in the Entity’s realm. He always tunneled you relentlessly, and that made you think of him as a big asshole, but there were some strange details tacked onto the sentiment that greatly confused you, should you think about it for more than three seconds.

Sometimes, it seemed like he went easy on you in chases, like he put in no effort. He would chase you for a while, let you waste his time, and then leave without even getting a hit on you when he definitely had the ability to.

And you hated saying this, but when he handled you, it almost felt…gentle. Granted, he was a killer, and his job was to murder you, but your experiences with him did not quite line up with those of the other survivors.

They always described trials against Frank as “stepping on legos in the middle of the night” or something akin to that. You never felt like that, though—when he chased you, it felt fair. Almost as if he played nice with you. And more often than not, the killer would let you go when he caught you. The reason remained a mystery to you until quite a bit later.

This trial, Frank was in 100% bastard mode. You had begun to think of his trials as quite easy due to his seemingly calm nature around you, so you were rather caught off guard when he downed you in the first 30 seconds of the match and tossed you onto a hook, no gentleness whatsoever.

You wanted to yell at him and ask what the fuck was wrong with him until you realized this was his fucking job, and this is how he should have been treating you all along. Maybe you had just been imagining it all, but you could have sworn he used to leave you alone more than this. Something just felt different.

After you were unhooked, he went for you again. And again. And then you were dead, completely wiped out of the trial. Frank had demolished you with no remorse.

You knew it was silly to feel betrayed, but you really couldn’t help it. In such an insane and hellish place, anything that could be even remotely perceived as kindness seemed like so much more of a big deal than it truly was. So Frank’s supposed “gentleness” with you had felt somewhat like a friend doing you a selfless favor. Of course, it was not a selfless favor, and it was certainly nowhere near kindness, because he was still a killer chasing you with a knife, but your standards had really lowered in this place.

After that trial, you were back to hating Frank for tunneling and bullying you (like you probably should). You began to understand the survivors’ saying about the legos—and you hoped that Frank would step on some legos too, because he fucking sucked sometimes.

And for a while, that’s just how it was. You nearly forgot how he used to go easier on you, and how you used to do okay in his matches. Now every time you were pit against each other it just felt like you were being stuck with a bunch of pins; you never had any time to breathe or rest or do literally anything. He just went after you until you were gone, and there was next to nothing you could do about it.

Everything changed very suddenly during a trial at Ormond.

You were expecting the same old routine with this asshole—chase, blah blah blah, die. You hardly had energy to fight back anymore.

So when he arrived out of breath at the killer shack, somehow knowing you would be here, Frank was surprised to find you relaxing under the window with your arms loosely crossed, a disapproving scowl upon your countenance. It was enough to make him hesitate in his tracks.

You let out a deep breath, refusing to break eye contact with his mask; you kept up that menacing frown for as long as you could, trying to make him feel guilty (who knows if it was even possible for him to feel guilty? But it was worth a try).

“Just kill me,” you said, voice steady and seemingly unbothered. Underneath the surface, you were trembling, but you stood your ground. “That’s what you’re gonna do, isn’t it? You’re going to chase me until I’m miserable and kill me off as soon as you can?”

Frank went still, not even fidgeting with his knife like he usually did; he was intrigued by your sudden confidence.

You went on. “I’m really sick and tired of you, you know that? I’m sick of you and your bullshit. Why can’t you treat me like everybody else? At first, you went easy on me. Now you just torture me with your stupid mind games, and frankly, I’m sick of playing! I’m done with you—I don’t care anymore! Just kill me, and I’ll get out of your way, okay asshole? Mori me if you want. I don’t give a shit.”

You put your hands up exasperatedly, fully expecting him to take the offer and just send you back to the campfire right then and there. But the man sighed, pocketed his knife, and sat down right next to you as if this were a normal thing for him to do.

You scooted a few inches away out of instinct. Frank noticed, but he chose not to say a word about it.

It was a long time before he said anything, and when he finally did, you wanted to punch him so bad.

“It’s complicated,” he mumbled. And that was all.

Oh, yeah? It was complicated? You scoffed, hanging your head with a bitter smile. “Oh, okay. Sure.”

Silence again.

Awkward, suffocating silence.

And then Frank got up and left. You were unbothered for the remainder of the trial, not even a scratch or bruise on your body.

~~

Sometimes you simply did things, and you didn’t know why. This thing that you just did was irrational, stupid, unplanned, unwise, and everything in-between, and you knew it was, but frequently you just had no impulse control. Perhaps it was the Entity’s influence, or maybe you had always been this way—you couldn’t really remember.

How did you get here again? Why were you laying on the ground? And why did your leg hurt so fucking much?

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, you remember now.

Funnily enough, it seems as though the Entity, along with certain killers, did not like it when survivors tried to enter their side of the forest! But you did it anyways, and it appeared that you had suffered the consequences. It’s not like you had put much thought into it; where was the point in that when nothing mattered anymore and you were stuck in an endless cycle of death?

You remembered entering the killer’s woods, looking around, and doing…something. What was that something? You couldn’t be sure, but then you remembered somebody coming up to you and probably definitely hurting you. Yep, your leg definitely was in a lot of pain. You couldn’t even look at it. Did you pass out for a while? Maybe. How long were you out for?

You lay still there for a while, thinking. Man, it really hurt, and boy, were you miserable. Maybe more miserable than you’d ever felt here. The Entity normally healed wounds immediately, but perhaps you had just angered it so much you deserved to suffer.

Oh, dear! You seemed to be passing out at this time. Yes, that was almost certainly what was happening. Black spots danced across your eyes as your body began to feel distant and numb, but you didn’t feel very worried about it. In fact, you felt like making jokes right now, but you had nobody to make jokes to and you probably couldn’t even speak.

Just as you began to accept it, there was a strange thumping sensation vibrating through the ground growing closer…and closer…

Footsteps! That’s good!

Oh. Not if it’s a killer. That’s not good, probably.

But you had no way of protesting when you felt yourself being picked up, because those black spots in your eyes were dancing a lot faster now, perhaps something akin to an Irish jig, and you also couldn’t feel your limbs.

Then you were fast asleep again, dreaming of Irish dancers who were actually big fluffy cloud people wearing leprechaun clothes. Nobody but you would ever know this, and it was going to stay that way.

On the bright side, it made it a lot easier for your rescuer to carry you to safety like this.

~~

When you awoke once more, you were horrified to find yourself in the Ormond lodge of all places. You knew immediately what had happened and were determined to escape as soon as possible.

Your injured leg proved to be a huge problem, however, and you collapsed the second you attempted to find freedom. Trying again, you collapsed once more, and probably maimed yourself further in the process.

Hearing the commotion from the second floor, your least favorite member of The Legion descended down from the main stairs, refusing to look directly at you even as he scooped you up and plunked you (gently) back onto the couch, which was rather comfortable (not that you would ever tell him that).

So he was playing it cool, huh?

Okay. You could play it cool, too. You were cool. Smooth as butter.

No. You really couldn’t be cool in a situation like this, and plus, your mind was still a little woohoo since whatever accident had occurred. Suddenly you blurted out, “Frank, I hate your guts.”

And he had the audacity to laugh. He laughed at you! He did the man chuckle thing, as if what you were saying was funny. No! You were completely serious! You did hate his guts!

Perhaps your face showed how upset you were, because he started to apologize (still laughing).

“Maybe you should go back to sleep,” Frank said after calming down a bit.

No. You couldn’t go back to sleep. You did not want to experience dancing cloud people dressed as leprechauns ever again in your life, for the rest of eternity. Never again.

So you shook your head violently, refusing to give an explanation, which just provoked Frank to anger all of a sudden. If you went back to sleep, he could have some alone time while the rest of The Legion was gone. He kept pushing, and you kept resisting, and he pushed and you resisted, until finally he gave up and let you off with a warning. If you made him mad again, he was throwing you out in the snow.

Fine with me, you said. Okay, I’ll do it right now, he said. No balls, you said.

So then Frank casually went to scoop you up in his arms again, and you started to freak out and beat your hands against his chest until he put you back down. He was was awfully mindful of your hurt leg for someone who was about to throw you into the snow.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry—please don’t throw me out,” you fussed. You thought he wouldn’t actually do it. You didn’t know it, but you were right—he was just messing with you because it was funny seeing you scared.

After a bit more griping back and forth, Frank began to grow concerned about your leg. He didn’t know how to bring up the topic because things were so odd between the two of you; this was your first interaction since the brief encounter in the shack. But he swallowed his pride, because the wound seemed to be getting worse by the minute.

“Hey, do you want me to, uhh…get some supplies?” Frank asked awkwardly. When you didn’t understand, he continued, “Your leg? It looks like it hurts…I could fix it if you want.”

You barked out a laugh at his words, unbelieving of this shift in attitude. “Rich coming from the guy who tried to kill me three days ago,” you snickered, genuinely finding it amusing.

Frank took offense. He was trying to be nice for once, and you thought it was funny. And his situation really was complex, whether you chose to believe it or not. Maybe he should just tell you to get it off of his chest.

“Listen,” he said, voice laced with seriousness. “When I told you things were complicated, I meant it.”

Sensing the mood change from his tone and body language, you stopped smiling and decided to pay attention to him. Just this once. Never again. After this you could go back to hating him.

Frank continued. “The Entity was going to start…well, hurting me, if I didn’t start doing better in trials. I really didn’t want to sacrifice you, which is embarrassing to admit, but I’ll say it. And I don’t think it liked that.”

You were surprised. And also relieved that you had been right all along—he had been going easy on you at first.

“Why me, though?” you asked, confused. “Why wouldn’t you want to sacrifice me? What about the other survivors?”

If the slight tilt of his head at your question didn’t answer it for you, the way he started tapping his feet and cracking his knuckles so nervously did.

Boy, if looks could kill, you would have died instantly at the scowl Frank sent your way; you grinned pridefully at the realization that this man was down bad. You couldn’t see the expression behind his mask, though, which Frank was thankful for.

He hated every second of this, but you loved it. You reveled in his embarrassment.

Leaning forward on your hands, you begged, “Tell me more! I want to hear all about your feelings for me.”

“I could stab you right now, you know that?”

“But you won’t. You liiiiike me!”

“What are you, eight years old?”

“No, but I am severely injured and have lost a lot of blood so I am not necessarily in the right headspace at the moment.”

“You make a fair point.”

“So tell me! What’s your favorite thing about me?”

“Your ass.”

“No, really.”

“Okay, your ass and your hair.”

“You know what, Frank, I still hate your guts.”

“No, you don’t.”

You paused for a moment. It was probably the blood loss talking, you decided later, but you said, “No. Maybe I don’t.”

[titleknown]

...I will say, as a disabled person, it creeps me the fuck out that people kept dunking on Ana Mardoll (Who, for clarity’s sake, I do not know outside of this drama) for the whole “you can still be an author if you don’t read very much” tweet.

Because, like, if you read his later tweets on the subject, he talks about how he used to read voraciously until burnout set in. Which, like, been there pal.

And, even ignoring the fact that he recommends audiobooks as one alternative in the original now-deleted-due-to-dogpiling thread, it disturbs me how talk about it being okay to do your craft even with that handicap is getting fucking dunked on.

And like, the thread he was responding to in that original thread was about comps. Which are apparently A Thing in publishing where you read what books are out there to find out what’s popular that you can compare your book to.

Now, I don’t know the first side of anything about traditional publishing and correct me if I’m naiive, but I feel like that’s definitely related to those sorts of structures requiring additional labor to get work that make it very difficult for disabled folks to get a foot in the door in pretty much all fields.

It seems akin to the hell that is the job application process in other fields, a process even neurotypicals can barely manage, but those with neurodivergence find even more difficult due to all the hoops one has to jump through.

And I see people in other threads responding to that diminishing the difficulties of the barriers we face, saying that we’re “not trying hard enough,” and more or less saying “Well, you’ll never be a real writer if these are barriers for you,” treating disability as just laziness “holding yourself back” from your true potential.

And like, do they know how they fucking sound?

Like, I don’t know dick about YA twitter, I try to avoid the bird site if I can, I do not know about its actual problems, but it's genuinely disturbing how ableist people are getting in the supposed name of combatting anti-intellectualism.

And I’ve got to wonder; how much is the shitting on YA twitter actually about problems within that subculture, or combating intellectual stagnation, and how much is it about using the neurodivergent as a scapegoat or punishing them for daring to speak about their barriers to access.

I will cap this off with one tweet I found during this whole debate that sums up why people dunking on Mr. Mardoll scare me:

Like... yikes.

:EDIT: Well shit. This was written before, like, the fucking Lockheed-Martin stuff came out about Mardoll, and like...

While my points about ableism used as a scapegoat are still, I think, valid, and everyone involved in this fucking story sucks, I have zero sympathy for Mardoll, especially given what I’ve heard about the hate-mobbing he also led.

Like, my dad worked for fucking Raytheon for years of his life, but I will never defend that shit one iota, and that’s just a fucking ancillary thing!