#i fucking WORKED to get literally every single video here. 17 tries but i did it.

[vonlipvig]

Do you have a ranking of the bits of you life endings? Like most favorite to least?

oh my god, i have a terrible memory, there's no way i can rank them now i cause i barely remember what happens in each of them lmao. i just remember funny moments completely devoid of context, like all the times ivan was kinda hot (SORRY!) or when peter chases eamon around the studio, or when peter is drunk as fuck and they all sing the song at the end and it's very naughty. many many things.

you may even say that i remember...bits...of their life!............where is everybody. hello? oh god that's dorothy hammermann with a hammer about to hit me on the HEA---[BONK].

[lozzypoz321]

Word count: 3.8k!

A/N: this is one of my favourite things I’ve ever written and I’m super proud of it, also the biggest word count I’ve ever done, hope you enjoy and pretty please leave feedback!! <3

Warnings: brief mentions of underage sex, calling of child services, brief mentions of an anxiety attack

Avengers college AU

-

Bucky: Guys I’m really desperate

Bruce: what?

Steve: wdym?

Bucky: does anyone have the first period free tomorrow? Can’t afford a babysitter for Riley :/

Tony: nah can’t, I’ve got a busy schedule

Clint: economics man

Bruce: science m8

Nat: same as Clint I’m afraid Jamesy

Clint: wbu Steve?

Steve: library club and I can’t skip

Bucky: >: I

Bucky: I think I may be having a midlife crisis.

Tony: okay 1. You’re 20 and 2. You shouldn’t have gone an’ knocked up a woman at 17

Nat: Tony!

Bucky: You’re acting like you didn’t get some at 17 Tony

Bruce: he has a fair point.

Nat: and anyway Riley’s too pure for your insults Tony

Bucky: uwu

Tony: you have officially turned into every teenage girl Barnes

Nat: anywayyyyyyy, Thor how’re you coping with your brother’s “phase”

Tony: I am starting to think Loki’s goth phase isn’t just a phase Natalie, I caught him walking around in a skull T-shirt with chains this morning

Clint: oh daym

Steve: what are you going to do?

Thor: I am going to show that I respect him by buying him some flowers!

Clint: What abt a chain tho?

Nat: wait, does anyone wanna go to laser tag at some point?

Tony: oooh yes!

Bruce: yeah I’m down! :)

Steve: I’ve got time yeah thanks

Bucky: I never back down from a laser tag game

Nat: great! I’ll book it with Tony’s card

Tony: wait what?

Bucky: oh shit, I’ve gotta go, Riley’s just run away somewhere brb

Clint: oh damn.

Bucky shoved his phone hastily into his pocket and looked around, desperation filling his eyes as they searched for any sign of his daughter. The bushes swayed with the evening breeze and very few people strolled around campus, either going on a walk, meeting up early with friends or getting food. The young adult heavily sighed out of relief when he caught sight of Riley, excitedly chatting to a man, who James quickly identified him as one of his other friends, Sam.

Braking out into a light jog, he made his way across campus to the pair while also trying to avoid bumping into the other students that were now staring at him, in college he was basically known as the fuck boy. Not that he was, the only reason behind it was that he had a daughter at 17 and everyone apart from his friends never saw past that.

“What’re you doing here munchkin?” He asked the small girl who was now shyly smiling at her father. Sam chuckled at the duo and turning his attention away from Riley, “wasn’t her fault dude, just telling me how she’s going to chemistry class tomorrow, can’t wait to see that” he said with a sly smirk on his face.

Bucky mentally sighed, yes it was going to be very tough tomorrow. Not only was she very restless, but she also was very talkative and wouldn’t put a filter on around people older than her, which most of the time could be very offensive. “Yeah! I promised him I’ll be good!”

“Oh really? Well I kinda hoped you’d have something to say to Professor Demon”

“Sam,” he groaned and ran a hand through his hair “his names Damon, if he caught you sayin’ that then we’d get suspended so quickly dude” Riley giggled and looked up at her dad innocently “and then we’d go poor because you suck at getting jobs”

“He sucks at everything” Sam mumbled, earning a glare from the other man. “We better go get some food now, there’s literally nothing in the fridge except a can of tuna, some ketchup and packets of sour sauce from takeout awhile ago”

“Oof man”

The walk to the diner that he had decided on going to after he couldn’t be bothered going grocery shopping was a long one. Riley insisted on stopping for every dog they saw, to ask to stroke it. “Ri’ baby, we can’t keep stopping, we gotta get back to the dorm before it’s your bedtime”

The pout she sent him instantly melted his heart before he realised she knew exactly what she was doing and he readjusted his grip on her hand so she didn’t end up running away again like she did earlier.

-

“Ri’ what do you want?” He asked the child once the waitress had come over asking for their orders. She gave a nonchalant shrug and turned her attention back to the video that was playing on Bucky’s phone that he had given her for the wait. “M’kay so, can we get a,” he took a pause to take a quick glance at the kid’s menu on the table “chicken nuggets and chips please with… chocolate milkshake?”

Riley nodded and the waitress, who from the name tag on her apron, was named Elizabeth, began to write down both his and her order but halfway through gave a quick glance up to Bucky, but when he caught her cheeks flooded red that made his daughter snort.

“Is that all sir?”

“Riley shut up” he quietly told the girl as Elizabeth walked away with her head down. “She was flirting with you dad” she laughed making him jokingly nudge her across the table “Oi, and anyway she’s not my type munchkin”

“Well don’t be too loud, the creeps staring at you dad”

He didn’t mean to, but without thinking his head whipped round to instantly make eye contact with the woman who was biting her lip, her eyes now as big as plates. His cheeks heated furiously as he immediately turned back around to face his adorable giggling daughter. “You better like those chicken nuggets munchkin cause I’ve got to go through this to get them”

“I will dad, I like chickens”

-

“Riley, come on you gotta get some sleep” he groaned once she’d slid onto the sofa where he was writing his assignment last minute for the fifth time that night.

“But dad,” She whined and pulled on the sleeve of the college logo sweater he had pulled on without even thinking about it once they’d got home as he had only just realised he had a paper to write, “I’m not tired and I don’t want to be alone”

His eyes softened at the pleading look on her face that would get him to do anything she wanted him to “m’kay baby, how about we go into into the bedroom and you try to get some sleep while I finish this up”

She nodded enthusiastically and he picked up the study books and paper in one hand and Riley in the other, deep eye bags could be found on his face from the lack of sleep that he had spent pulling all-nighters working on college work and began to make his way into the small room that had a single bed pressed up against the wall with a mattress next to it, an abundance of blankets on both.

He set the small girl onto the single bed and lowered himself down into the smaller one, using the bed frame to press his back against and using a hardback book underneath the paper to rest on.

“Why do people stare at you?” Bucky only just heard Riley mumble as her eyes struggled to keep open. He stopped writing but kept his hand in the same place while grinder his teeth, wondering what to say. “Cause baby… people don’t really think that I should have you this young,” he struggled to find the words as he felt his daughter roll onto her back to listen “but they don’t understand that I love you a lot, don’t I munchkin?”

Riley giggled behind him and uttered a small yes. “At least they haven’t tried to take me away again”

The young man's breath hitched in the back of his throat at the memory flashed through his mind. They’d been watching a movie with Steve after their classes and a knock had sounded on the door.Apparently, Child services had been called by one of the students and they tried to take her away but he wouldn’t let them, they had threatened to take him to court because the living settings were not meant for a child but 17-year-old Steve had calmly spoken to them outside the room while James had been on the edge of a panic attack inside.

“Yeah, scared me Ri’” his horse voice answered back making her eyebrows scrunch in confusion “I’m not going anywhere dad. Well, unless I die but y’know”

He sent her a bitch face look over his shoulder which made her uncontrollably giggle. Bucky chuckled and set his attention back to the essay while absent mindedly talking to her about random things.

“Is Loki gonna be at the laser tag place?” She asked and added on excitedly “oooh can I come dad?!”

“Sure doll, let me tell the guys”

Buck: we got plus ones on this laser tag thing?

Bruce: whyyyy??

Thor: oooh if that is the case I would very much like to take my brother!

Nat: oh are you bringing Riley then?

Buck: yup

Steve: I don’t see why not

Tony: I’m off to speak to this really hot girl

Clint: what that spice girl?

Buck: do you mean pepper?

Clint: ah yes!

He chuckled at the screen and chucked his phone to the side while looking up to his daughter on the bed above him, going to tell her they approved before stopping and smiling to himself as he caught sight of her peaceful, sleeping form.

Without waking her up, he got off the mattress and tucked in the blankets, quietly laughing as he retrieved the earbuds she had borrowed in the diner from her pocket. “Night munchkin”

-

Bucky groaned as the ringing of his phone awoke him, the technology next to his ear from when he had fallen asleep sat up. “Wha’?”

It was so early in the morning that he didn’t even have the energy to think of a proper sentence, never mind say one.

Steve: hey guys make sure your ready, it starts an hour after school

Clint: Steve. School. Finishes. At. 6. Pm. What. Tf. Do. You. Mean. It. Starts. In. An. hour. After.

Nat: we thought you could do with a late start

Tony: fuck you Romanoff

Clint: ten bucks says she’s smirking rn

Buck: ughhh

Bruce: I feel exactly the same way

Buck: no you don’t. I spent up until 6 am doing that English essay I forgot about

Tony: oof

Bucky: I will physically be running on caffeine this morning so be ready

He took a look around the messy room before deciding he would clean it another day and raised himself onto his feet before making sure Riley was still on the single bed asleep. He made his way to the tiny kitchen that held a mini-fridge, microwave, kettle and an oven with two counters on one side to make himself a cup of coffee that he was depending on if he had to spend an hour of his day running around in sweaty gear and a fake gun while making sure his daughter didn’t run away to get some sort of snack.

“Fuck” he mumbled as the loud whirring of the kettle started, sure to wake Riley up. “I’m tired” he heard a voice groan behind him, making the man whirl around, instantly making eye contact with his daughter. Sighing out of relief and returning back to the drink he was previously making. “So am I doll, yet you can’t have coffee”

He made her go get dressed and brush her teeth while he had a mental breakdown over what he was going to do about the paper he didn’t manage to finish before he fell asleep last night.

“Dad,” Bucky looked up to find Riley once again dressed in a pair of Joggers and a baggy T-shirt that she’d dragged out of the very few clean clothes in her draw “someone’s messaging your laptop”

She struggled to hold up the open device that showed multiple emails from one of his professors questioning his performance in class for the recent weeks. He inwardly cursed and took the laptop from her to begin emailing her back, choosing to ignore the insults she had thrown at him and his daughter in the middle of it.

“She is so full of-“ he stopped halfway through the sentence, noticing that Riley was sat next to him, quietly playing a YouTube video on his phone. “Whatcha watching Ri’?” He asked, his attention still focusing on trying to be professional in the email back. “c- c-“ she struggled to pronounce the word so she passed it to him.

“Commentary channels?” The man asked with a laugh, thinking about how most parents wouldn’t even let their 4 child near a video like that but yet again he wasn’t like most parents. He was 20 and had to do this alone.

“Oh yeah”

“Come on munchkin, we gotta get to first period before we’re late” he told her and grabbed his backpack to quickly shove his college things in before glancing at the digital clock on his phone and scooping Riley up so they could get there quicker.

Halfway through the panicked running across campus, the small girl decided she needed a nap and fell asleep against his shoulder, making Natalia laugh as they passed.

As soon as he arrived in the classroom he knew it was a bad idea when 11 pair of eyes fell to his, heavily panting and holding an asleep 4-year-old.

“Sir he’s late” a girl, younger than him moaned to the teacher who was now shrugging his shoulders “I don’t care”

“But professor, why’d he bring the baby?”

Bucky had enough of everyone staring at him, he readjusted the bag on his back before making his way to the back of the class, sitting in an empty seat in between Sam and Tony and placed Riley on his lap.

“That’s a good question Jaimee, Barnes?”

“Couldn’t find anyone to look after her professor” he mumbled in response, making sure to be loud enough to hear. “No babysitter?”

“Can’t afford it sir”

He didn’t once make eye contact with anyone in the room, instead putting his attention on the books that he was bringing out of his bag. “You alright man?” Tony whispered across the desk and flicked a pen at him, “Oi” Bucky hissed as the metal came in contact with the side of his head making Sam laugh loudly at him.

“Dad,” a mumble was heard quietly, making the older man look at his daughter, eyes that were previously closed were now looking up at his wide with pleading “I’m hungry”

If he was anywhere else in the world he would have sworn loudly, but right now he was in a class with 10 other students and his daughter. “Okay baby, but you're gonna have to wait for a while, we’re in my class but I’ll get you something after okay?”

She nodded and rested her hair back against his chest, making him smile slightly as he went back to taking notes of the class. “I’ve got skittles,” Sam held out the family-sized packet of sugary sweets making Riley do grabby hands towards it. Without asking Sam gave her it, earning a goofy smile from the girl. “Thank you dude but she’s literally gonna get the biggest sugar rush possible now”

“Aha, can’t wait to see that”

-

By halfway through the period Riley was already rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, on the spot next to Bucky’s chair, his hand holding hers to make sure she didn’t run up to the front and distract everyone. “Dad, are you going to work tonight?”

“Yeah munchkin, not for long though, you can stay with Stevie. How about that?”

“Yeah, m’kay”

Suddenly the professor spoke up, directing his attention to Bucky “Barnes, the symbol Sb stands for stibium or stibnite. What is the modern name of this element?”

“That doesn’t sound like English dad” Riley loudly whispered to him, making the class laugh, “and what do you think the answer is?”

The girl pondered for a second and looked at her dad with seriousness drawn upon her features “...tell me,”

-

“Laser in the house!” Clint exclaimed in excitement once everyone had found their way to the front of campus where they’d agreed to meet.

“I like lasers,” Riley gushed while smiling brightly making most of the young adults chuckle, Loki however, did not. “Why did you have to bring me?” The man grumbled, sending a death glare towards his brother.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Riley no-“

“Did you go through childhood trauma to endure this?”

“Ri’ you can’t ask-“

“Why is there a child?” Loki asked as if he had only just noticed she was there. “She is Barnes’ daughter brother” Thor said and gently patted her head, making her scowl.

“You have a daughter?”

“I’ve had her for 4 years dude”

“Oh”

Steve grabbed his phone from his pocket and glanced at the time “guys we’ve gotta be there in half an hour we better get goin’”

“Alright Rogers, you really do like to keep track of time don’t you?” Tony asked and rolled his eyes making Nat nudge him in the ribs. “Tony, I’m not that old”

“You're 21, everyone else is 20 punk” Bucky teased him but stopped when he sent him a death glare. “Erm, I’m not 20.” The young girl pointed out while everyone else started making their way to the entertainment place. “Smart girl Ri’”

“Wait, do we need to decide the teams?” Bruce asked everyone once Bucky and Riley had caught up with the rest. “Ooooh,” Clint exclaimed with wide eyes “dibs on Natasha! She’s got good aim.”

“I’m gonna stick with you. Power team” Bucky whispered down to the stupidly smiling girl as she nodded furiously. By the time everyone had chosen their teammates and managed to agree, the group had arrived. “This’ll be great” Bruce sighed once they’d caught sight of the room of light-up vests with attached laser guns.

“Rules,” a middle-aged man who looked like he’d given up on life, walked into the room with a clipboard in hand “No Running, No Physical Contact, Hold Laser with Both Hands, No Climbing, Players must be careful when manoeuvring around interior arena walls, Please let us know if any of your guests suffer from the following: Asthma, epilepsy or suffer from seizures caused by fog or strobe lights.”

Everyone was quiet for a second before Steve quietly spoke up with a blush “I have asthma, sir.”

The worker took a pause and pondered for a moment, as though this had never happened in his whole 68 years of working there, “just… don’t start a fire alright?”

They all nodded in agreement, just happy that he’d been let in, and began to enter the massive room where the game was about to take place. “Right, so, let’s not rugby tackle people like you did last time,” Steve said and mostly directed it to Thor who smiled sheepishly “cause- err, there’s a kid, yeah, Riley, that’s it”

Bucky chuckled and picked up the fake laser gun as the lights began to darken, “let’s get this party started”

As soon as the words left his mouth, chaos ensured, young adults setting off running to find a place to set-up camp. As he wanted to be fast, Bucky quickly picked up Riley and began to run towards a pillar so he could hide behind it, so he’s able to get a good view of people.

“How does it work?” Riley whispered from the spot of her back pressed against his chest so she could also see and indicated towards the gun. “Gotta put your finger on the trigger” he instructed and took ahold of her index finger and brought it over to the weapon, placing the rest of her hand on the handle while her other one held the underneath of the top part, trying not to drop it.

The whole room was silent for a good 5 minutes before Bucky decided to make a move, taking hold of the collar of her jacket to gently pull her up with him. Not holding Riley’s hand as she would have ended up dropping the laser gun if she didn’t have two hands on it.

The two of them scouted out the place trying to be quiet so they didn’t get caught. Suddenly, making them jump, a loud zapping sounded in the distance, indicating that someone had found an enemy. He began to run away from the sound, after making sure his daughter was following and attempting to find somewhere to hide again but this time he didn’t find a deserted place.

“Aha!” Nat yelled and jumped out from behind a pillar while aiming the laser at Bucky’s chest. His panicked yelling and screaming filled the air as he made a run for it, completely forgetting about his teammate left behind and the rule “no running”. Suddenly, before he could brace himself his body went flying, his foot getting stuck on a stray shoe that belonged to Thor. At the same time Steve had jumped out, meaning to get the man in the chest, but instead Bucky had landed on him, using him to muffle the landing, earning an “ow man...” in return.

Bucky wanted to move, he really did, but he just couldn’t. He was in a trance, his and Steve’s baby blue eyes made eye contact, without knowing what he was doing, Steve’s body involuntarily leant up: closer to the younger man. His lips never looked more inviting, but all of a sudden a yell broke out in the room.

“Dad! Help! Nat nearly got me!”

The father scrambled up off the floor, his mind going a million miles an hour about what just happened and why it was wrong. He was his best friend. He should only see him as a friend.

Without meaning to, he ran away from him, not bothering to even spare Steve a second glance in search of his daughter, who was now cowered in one of the room's corners, trying not to get shot. Bucky chuckled slightly at the tactic and crossed the room, luckily not being noticed by Tony and Nat who were having a shoot off at each other from their opposite ends in the room.

“Nat nearly got you Ri’?”

“M’ yeah and you weren’t there.”

Guilt coursed through the mans veins as he remembered that he’d left her, but before his mind could go wondering to the events after it, he stopped himself, “sorry munchkin”

“Is’ okay, just don’t do it again dad”

He silently laughed at the sincerity in her voice and grabbed her hand to lead her away from the battle scene so they could get somebody else in the laser tag game. In quiet discussions they settled on Bruce, the one who was most likely to not be paying attention, and if he was it would still be easy to take aim without him seeing.

“Come on Ri, we got this.”

-

@donutloverxo @xolovegrace @rooskaya-yelena @deephideoutmilkshake @kidney9-9 @marvel-ous-hobbit @snarky--starky @rae-is-typing @stargazingfangirl18 @canadianhufflepuffavenger @herecomesthewriterwitch @every-marveler-ever

[surveys4ever]

25.

Section 1 – Who were you?

Think back as far as you can. What is the first memory you have? I think meeting my (now) dad for the first time when he and my mom were dating. I was very upset because he was short and that’s not what dads were supposed to look like in my 3 year old eyes since my bio dad was super tall.

What is something you remember enjoying very much as a small child? Playing Barbies, watching Barney, Happy Meals, being with my grandma.

How old were you, when you made your very first friend? Probably preschool.

Are you still friends with this person today? Facebook friends, yeah. Real friends, no.

Was there a story somebody read or told you that has stuck with you? No one ever read to me after I learned to read for myself so one day I was sick and I came home and curled up with my mom on the couch and asked her to read me a Little Mermaid book I had and she did, even though I had to get up to go shit myself halfway through and it meant a lot to me at the time.

What is something you get an immense feeling of nostalgia from? Hannah Montana for some reason. It was my favorite show and we didn’t get the Disney channel so whenever we went to a hotel, nobody could tell me fuckin NOTHING because we were watching Hannah Montana whether they liked it or not.

As a child, were you a sore loser or a sore winner? I was the only child for 8 years and then the oldest after that so I never lost at anything and now when I do, I feel like I'm the biggest piece of shit loser there’s ever been. So that’s fun.

Did you go through the "naked phase"? I learned that you didn’t have to sleep in pajamas and you could just sleep naked so I did it for a while but then realized that I much preferred pajamas.

Which television shows do you watch the most as a child? I loved TV so basically all of the 90′s/early 2000′s shows there were.

Did you play with siblings, neighbourhood kids or by yourself? Either with neighborhood/school kids or by myself. I didn’t ever really have siblings who weren’t my kids, if that makes sense.

Is there something you really miss from your childhood today? I miss back when everything was simple.

Section 2 – Likes and interests  

Would you ever like to try competitive pinball playing? Ummm, no.

Do you knit, crochet or cross stitch? I’m trying to teach myself to crochet.

Have you ever, or would you like to attend a gaming or comic convention? No thx.

What's your opinion on online multiplayer games? I really liked Among Us for a while there but I don’t really enjoy how rude everyone is on online games.

Do you like to go cycling? If so, where? Uh no.

Have you ever tried woodturning? If not, would you like to? Never tried it, don’t really have any desire to, but it can be relaxing to watch!

Do you enjoy drawing? If so, what do you usually draw? I do! I usually draw graphics for YouTube videos or doodle over Instagram photos, draw things to put on shirts with my Cricut, etc. I use my iPad for so many things.

Have you ever attended a painting class? If so, what did you create? I haven’t but I would like to!

How about a creative writing course? If so, did you get any feedback? I took Creative Writing literally every year it was offered in high school and I always got awards for having the top marks in the class.

What is your favourite form of exercise? No thank you.

Section 3 – People  

Who is the most important person in your life (besides yourself)? My husband.

Do people generally approach you easily? I think so!

Do you get along with people well? If not, what's the problem? Yeah! I’m pretty friendly and easy going.

Do you enjoy being in crowds or do you prefer your own company? I would much prefer my own company than crowds.

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? I still talk to the girl I was best friends with in the 6th grade on occasion so like 17-18 years?

Do you find it easy to make friends now? If not, what makes it difficult? As an adult who works from home, making friends is hard as fuck. 

What is something about people that annoys you? Something I've noticed in recent years is just how entitled and greedy everyone is. Everybody wants something from you or for your skills to benefit them without them putting in any work or paying you for your time. It’s just gross.

What is something about people that you really like? We have really, really harsh winters and if you ever find yourself in the ditch for whatever reason, there will be a lineup of cars stopped behind you to help you push it out or let you chill in their car while you wait for a tow truck. On the really bad blizzard days, there are groups of men in big trucks that literally L I V E to go around and help pull people’s cars out of the ditch. It’s the only time I feel like there’s actually a sense of community around here.

If you live alone, what would be your criteria for a roommate? I honestly would never have a roommate because they could either be your friend or a stranger and living with friends is a good way to ruin a friendship if your living styles aren’t similar and living with a stranger just sounds like a nightmare.

How about criteria for a spouse, if you're single? I am married but my criteria was honestly that I just wanted him to be kind and funny and I got that tenfold with my husband.

In general, what's your attitude towards people? I can’t stand to be around grumpy people. If all you do is gripe and complain about literally everything, I’m out. No thank you. Why is your hobby being angry? Take up knitting or something for christ’s sake.

Section 4 – Habits

What is something you do every day without fail? Baby talk the dog and snuggle with Beebs.

What is your typical breakfast? I’m a leftovers for breakfast kinda gal but lately I’ve been having a bagel and watermelon.

Which article of clothing do you like to wear the most? I loooove me a good baggy T-shirt and booty shorts.

Is there a TV show you watch habitually? We’re currently watching Unhhhh while we eat dinner every night, haha!

Where do you usually spend most of your day? I really only sit in 4 places--bed, the couch, my makeup/work desk, or my sewing desk. Depends on the day which one I’m at.

Is there a product that you do not want to run out of? Moisturizer. I’m a dry son of a bitch.

What is your preferred mode of transport? Car!

Do you usually have something playing in the background when you're home? Nah. I’m in silence a lot of the time.

Where do you usually get your groceries? Walmart for the bulk of it, a local grocery store for the specialty items, and Target if we ever run out of something midweek because I cannot handle Walmart more than once a week.

How often do you go to your local park? Like once or twice a month in the summer!

Which of your hobbies do you indulge in most often? Sewing and Sims currently!

Section 5 – Favourites and dislikes

What is your favourite fruit? Watermelon!

How about your favourite berry? Strawberries are the only berry I like.

Which food do you highly dislike? Fish. It’s all disgusting.

What is your favourite song, and why? I hate this question. Who can pick one definitive favorite song out of the bajillions of songs that have been written??

What is a movie you cannot stand? Anything with Seth Rogen in it, any movie that's got a 3+ after it (looking @ you, Fast & Furious), and all the fuckin’ superhero movies that have the same ‘ah yes, this undefeatable bad guy that we have absolutely no chance against and will undoubtedly kill us all--but we’re going to pull through at the last second with the power of friendship!’ plot line.

Which trait in a person do you find most appealing? I don’t know how to describe it--certain people just have that spark and you can always tell right away if they’ve got it or not and those are my favorite kind of people.

Which trait puts you instantly off? If they’re religious it’s an instant no from me, dog.

Who is an actor/actress who you dislike so much you can't watch them? I really, really dislike Tom Holland. I honestly think he’s a terrible actor.

What colour are your favourite shoes? White!

What is a smell that disgusts you to no end? B.O., on me or others. I just can’t deal with it.

Which door handle/door knob do you like the most in your home? They’re all the same.

Section 6 – Culture

What is something very typical to the culture of your home country? Apple pie and baseball are the only things coming to mind atm.

Do you enjoy art? If so, which form of art is the most enjoyable? I do! But I prefer art that you can look at and know the artist is incredibly gifted and/or has put in a ton of time and effort to master their skills. None of that million dollar paint smear on a canvas shit.

What is something about another country's culture you don't understand? I feel like other cultures take their family and their family’s approval way too seriously. That might be rich coming from someone who doesn’t have a very good relationship with their family but I just don’t understand what the point of making yourself miserable to make your family happy is.

Do you ever attend the theater? If so, which play did you see last? Last thing I saw in a theater was Shangela perform a drag show, haha!

How about the opera or the ballet? Nope.

Which dance troupe do you enjoy, if any? ...they still do that?

Do you attend concerts or gigs? If so, which band did you see last? Not as much as I’d like to as no one good really comes here very often. Last band we saw was X Ambassadors and Paramore!

Are you interested in foreign food? I’m not uninterested but I’m not super interested either.

If so, which country's cuisine do you enjoy the most? Chinese...albiet probably a very Americanized version of Chinese.

Do you enjoy stand-up comedy? If so, who is your favourite comic? I doooo! Bo Burnham and Drew Lynch are my favorites.

Do you contribute to culture in some way? If so, how? I try to? I’m an influencer so I definitely have a platform of a couple hundred thousand people. Not sure what exactly I contribute tho.

Section 7 – Charity

Do you volunteer your time to anything charitable? If so, what? Newp.

Do you donate money to any charities? If so, which ones? No. I don’t trust a lot of charities, to be quite honest. A lot of them are very shady and I’d rather donate money directly to someone who needed it rather than it getting tied up in a charity where it might never actually see the people they claim to be helping.

If you have pets, are any of them rescues from shelters? We adopted our dog from one of my husband’s coworkers but she probably would have gone to the shelter if we didn’t take her.

Do you donate your old clothes, linen etc. to charitable organizations? Yes! We almost always have a bag of donations in our trunk that we always forget to take to the thrift store when we go.

If someone you know is in need, is it in your nature to offer help? If I can, yes!

Have you ever donated Christmas presents to children of poor families? We used to do that when I was a kid.

Have you ever had to rely on other people's charity? One Christmas when I was really young I remember my parents signed up for a sponsorship through the Salvation Army where a family adopted us and bought us Christmas presents and Christmas dinner or whatever.

How do you feel about donating to charities endorsed by celebrities? I would never donate to a charity simply because it was sponsored by a celebrity but I guess its the easiest way for a charity to get the word out that they need donations.

Is there a charity you absolutely never ever will not trust? PETA, Salvation Army, Goodwill, and that breast cancer one with the horrible CEO.

Have you ever donated to a cause that had a person going door to door? No. I extra wouldn’t if someone came knocking on my door asking for money.

In general, what is your opinion on charity? I already did my rant about them, haha.

Section 8 – Entertainment

Which was the very first video game you remember playing? Ocarina of Time I believe!

Which was the very first film you remember watching? That I don’t remember. Maybe that Barney movie with the magic egg?

What is your go-to form of entertainment? TikTok usually.

Do you have a large collection of DVDs/Blu-Rays? Nah. We have a drawer but we usually stream everything.

How about music albums? Beebs collects vinyls!

Do you prefer to have your music on vinyls, tapes, CDs or digital? I prefer digital and Beebs likes vinyl.

When and where do you like to entertain yourself usually? Either the bed or the couch.

Do you ever binge watch shows? If so, what are you binging now? Usually! I’m sadly in between shows rn.

What kinds of books do you like to read, if any? I honestly don’t read anymore.

Is there a book series you're currently collecting? ..

Is entertainment something you prefer to enjoy alone or with someone else? I have my shows and then we have shows we watch together. So there’s a time and place for both!

Section 9 – Internet 

Do you always have access to the Internet, wherever you go? If not, why? Yup!

Which website do you frequent the most? Website website? Google. App website? Instagram or TikTok.

Which search engine do you prefer and trust the most? Googs.

What do you use the Internet the most for? Social media or entertainment.

Do you judge people who have their phones out all the time? If so, why? Random people? None of my business. But if we’re spending time together and I’m trying to have a conversation with you and you're not paying attention to me because your nose is glued to your phone, I’m gonna be pissed.

If your connection goes down, what do you do? Go do something that’s not on the internet?

Is there something you wish you could do online that isn't possible yet? I still wish you could smell things through the internet.

Do you remember the first time you used the Internet? When was it? Yes! I believe the 2nd/3rd grade?

What was a website you used to frequent that doesn't exist anymore? I loved the Disney website with all the games.

Do/Did you ever have your own website? That was the thiiiing back in the day.

Isn't it great how much knowledge and info we have at our fingertips? It’s great but also overwhelming.

Section 10 – And finally...

What is something you consider to be highly controversial? Politics, apparently.

What kinds of jokes do you like the best? I love a good pun.

Is there a person who makes you laugh effortlessly? Oh definitely.

Which part of your body do you like the least? My eyes.

What's something random, out of context you remember from your past? I don’t do well with really vague questions.

Do you wear shoes indoors? No, I’m not a heathen.

What's the silliest thing you've worn on your body in public? I don’t think I usually wear silly things.

What's the most important thing in your life right now? Just spending time with my fam. Trying to get over this anxiety.

What is the most distant point on the planet that you've been from home? Florida.

Do you enjoy trivia games? If so, which one's your favourite? We love some Trivial Pursuit in this house!

Are you more logical or emotional? My emotions take over and then my logic brings it back in. Equal parts, baby.

[placesthatchangedpeople]

Montana Academy testimony

This testimony was found on Reddit. All rights go to the author.

I’m not going to go into the hell that was SUWS Carolina [wilderness], as that is a whole different can of worms, and the boarding school was far more sinister. I arrived at Montana Academy a few weeks after turning 17. I was absolutely terrified after what I had been through spending 9 weeks living in the woods, but I was at least happy that I could use a toilet and sleep in a bed. [To get rid of any confusion later on, I was born male. At this point in my life I was still living as a boy, and trying very hard to convince myself I wanted to stay that way.] When I got to campus I was greeted by my team leaders and paraded through the lunch room as the entire student body looked at me [as all new students are]. I’m still convinced this is a power play devised by the creators of the school to subtly break your guard down. I said goodbye to my mom, grandmother, and my uncle, and began the worst period of my life.

So the Staff of our team was our team leader Dave, and boy, Dave was a piece of shit. He was the type of guy who would get a shit eating grin whenever he could punish you. You could fucking tell he got a semi off of it, and we would all talk about how much we hated him behind his back. I remember the ear to ear smile he got on his face as my eyes welled up with tears when he told me I couldn’t spend Christmas away from the ranch with my mom, because I was short by one signature on my checklist. That’s Dave in a nutshell. The weekend team leader was Sam and I think he was even worse, because he had the amazing ability to make you feel safe and loved one week, and then emotionally beat you to a pulp the next. For instance... There was one weekend where Sam and I had a long emotional talk where I opened up to him about how much my dad meant to me and how I would give anything to have him back. He gave me the biggest hug and told me he was here for me. The week after was rough and I was so excited to talk to him again, but when his shift started, he sat down and immediately screamed at me in front of everybody for not sitting down fast enough at the table, and put me on privilege freeze for a week. This would happen all the time. It was like he got off on building up our trust and hopes and then he would have a bad week at home and treat us like absolute shit.

I started with every intention of bettering myself. I had fully subscribed to the belief that I was broken as a result of “immaturity”, and the Founder of M.A.'s book was so fond of claiming. Despite coming from a broken home, childhood neglect, death of a parent, sexual abuse, trauma etc, it was MY fault that I ended up at M.A. I was ready to do my part. Unfortunately I wasn’t perfect as the staff expected me to be. I tried my ass off to do chores to the militaristic standards that they upheld, but I often fell short. Perhaps I missed a nearly microscopic hair in a bathtub. Sometimes, my sheets were a little crooked. And for each little transgression there was a severe consequence. If you made more than one mistake on your chores within a week, you could kiss all of your privileges goodbye. No phone call to your mom. No movie night. This may not seem like a big deal, but when you’re locked in an environment where you have maybe one tiny thing to look forward to a week, losing it because of something that is often not your fault is the most heart wrenching feeling in the world. Sometimes the punishments would go beyond cruel and just become abusive. About 5 weeks into my stay, I made the grave mistake of telling my team leader Dave that I had finished my assignment because I was having a really horrible day and just wanted to continue reading my book. Unfortunately he decided to double check. When he found out I wasn’t being honest, he assigned me to my first drudgery. That weekend I spent 6 hours outside in 20 degree weather scraping ice off of every single pathway on the entire ranch campus. I asked once if I could stop because my hands were rubbed raw and starting to bleed, and my weekend team leader Sam refused. I shouldn’t have lied, he insisted. By the end of the night, my hands were covered in blisters and I had learned my place. At this point I was broken, or so I thought. I didn’t know it could get worse.

As for therapy… My 1st therapist was useless. She was liable to cry about tragedies that had occurred during her own life. Ironically she was as cold as ice when it came to my issues. When it came to the issue of me being sexually assaulted in the 1st grade, she breezed right past it, and moved on to other issues. When I told her that I had always wished I had been been born a girl, she didn’t seem to give the slightest semblance of a fuck. When I would bring up the death of my father, or my mother’s alcoholism, she would go into how her brother died and start crying, and the next thing I knew I would be awkwardly wondering if I should console her. The biggest breakthrough in our therapy was when she came to the confident conclusion that the root of all my issues was that I was… wait for it… ADDICTED TO VIDEO GAMES… Every therapy session turned into her trying to convince me that I never wanted to play video games again, despite the fact I was drinking heavily and using substances before entering wilderness. After I finally promised her I would never touch another game again, we finally moved on to trying to process the loss of my father, and even that was a useless endeavor.

Group therapy was a clusterfuck. I don’t exactly know a better way to describe it than to call it “conflict therapy”. Seeing as how the entire M.A. operation was based around punishing students for their mistakes it was only natural to pit them against each other. The students of M.A. were each separated into 7 teams of roughly 10 students each. I spent 90% of my time with my team. They were your my friends, but I can guarantee they knew me fucking biblically. During group, it was common for one student on the team to be singled out and for every other student on the team to just fucking lay into them. It happened to everybody. We were all encouraged to tell on each other if we witnessed any rules being broken. I couldn’t trust my best friends with a secret at M.A. because the consequences were so dire. One tiny mistake could land me there for an extra year. Imagine the fucking paranoia that this causes. I was ALWAYS being watched. I began to question every single thing that I did. I began to believe the punishments I was being given were because I was useless, and because I couldn’t do anything right. After about a year I was 100% fucking brainwashed. I because some kind of M.A. Drone and I genuinely believed that I needed them to survive. It was like I was in a fucking cult, and if they had fucking cyanide in the punch I wouldn’t be writing this right now.

I think this next part was the most fucked up. This was the point where my red-pollyped festering cunt of a therapist decided to use me as an example, to teach a fucking seminar. My team was planning a father-son weekend trip. Doesn’t that sound lovely? Well, problem is, my dad’s fucking brain drowned in its own blood and so he’s in a box in my mom’s closet, so I can’t exactly take that out to Bowman lake with the boys. Luckily for me my therapist called me in and informed me that I was allowed to spend a weekend with my Uncle [who I love very much]. I was so happy, I was jumping for joy! A few weeks pass, and the father-son weekend is getting closer. My therapist calls me back in and tells me to sit down, and then informs me that she actually thinks it would be great for my “therapy” if I went with my team on the trip... I begged her to let me spend the weekend with my uncle, but she said it would also be good for the team’s therapy. So that weekend we all went to the lake. It was a really wonderful experience for everybody except for me. For the entire weekend I was alone. Some of my friends and their dads spent some time with me but I honestly wanted to be alone. Being the only kid without a fucking dad on a father-son trip is fucking humiliating beyond words. The worst part was on the last night of the weekend where the therapist held a group therapy session and the whole fucking thing was centered around me and my fucking dead dad, and all the issues that come with having a dead dad. My therapist had some really great and sensitive questions prepared... “Do you miss your dad?” “Do you feel guilty about anything?” “Why do you feel like it was your fault?” “Do you think your dad would be proud of you?” “Do you wish your dad was here?” “How did you deal with your mom falling apart?” “How do you feel that your mom is drinking again?” and the therapist just keeps pushing me and pushing me and pushing me until I’m inconsolable, and having a panic attack, and I just want her to shut the fuck up. I felt so broken, humiliated, and violated. How fucking dare this bitch of a therapist come at me with all of this heavy shit in front of people I've never met, when all she ever wants to talk about in our sessions is how much I like video games. They don’t care in these fucking places. They wanted to give these stupid fucking dads something powerful to witness so they could write a fucking Facebook post about the amazing work that's being done at MA. May they rot in hell.

Medical malpractice was also Rampant. While at M.A. I was struggling with weight and eating issues. My team “suggested” that I run a half marathon because our new team leader liked to run and they love to fucking push even the smallest beliefs and hobbies on their students. The shoes I was training in had literally no insoles. I asked for new shoes and was told to write a proposal. I wrote one and was never responded to by the treatment team [big fucking surprise]. After weeks of training we finally ran the half marathon. Halfway through, I felt a shooting pain in my foot. I told my team leader as he was not too far ahead. He didn’t give me much of a choice but to finish. For the next 6-8 weeks I asked the nurse every day if I could please go to the doctor as my foot was killing me, and nobody ever did anything about it. Finally after asking over what must have been 50 times, they agreed to let me go into town to get an x-ray. The x-ray found that I had snapped the middle metatarsal bone in my foot clean in half. So not only did M.A. make me run 6 miles with a broken foot, they made me do hard fucking labor on it for 6-8 weeks before allowing medical treatment. Care for Transgender students was disgustingly ignorant and based on lies and misinformation. Despite trying to come out as trans to my 1st M.A. therapist, it was just ignored. I tried multiple times to bring it up, but I’m now certain that my therapist didn’t know what a trans person was, and so she just thought it would be easier to switch the subject. When I moved on to the Sky House [the halfway house portion of the program] I said fuck it and just fully came out. This was met with backlash from the therapy team. Since I was at the Sky house now I had a new therapist and he had a lot of info about transitioning. Unfortunately, all of the info was fucking wrong, and he filled my head with misinformation, lies, and half-truths, in an attempt to make it sound like starting hormones was harder than getting a fucking doctorate from Harvard.

After Finally graduating M.A. I had been brainwashed into believing that getting a script for hormones was like a quest for the holy grail. I had no idea how fucking easy it actually was. I tried to live a normal life. I moved in with my aunt and uncle for a little while until I went off to college. I stayed sober for a few months, but as soon as I got to the university, things started fucking unraveling fast. I realized that I had been horribly abused and that the “therapy” I had been undergoing was nothing more than expensive babysitting. I fucking lost it I started drinking and taking any substance I could. I failed out of my school and moved back home. I drifted around for 3 years drinking, and being a disgusting and terrible person. I had to figure it all out on my own. I fucked with drugs I never should have and fell in with people I had no business being with. I drank too much, and made many regrettable decisions. But I still figured my fucking life out. I figured out that I needed to fucking get it together. I made a goal. I needed to transition. That was problem A. I got sober, went to my Nana [my hero] and found a therapist and within 2 weeks I was on hormones and began my transition, and by pure luck, I found love. It’s been a little over 4 years since I’ve gotten sober and things are far from perfect. I have severe PTSD from going to that hell of a school. I still dream about it multiple nights a week, and wake up in a fucking panic. I never leave the goddamn house because I start to panic, and I have serious trouble holding a job, so instead I work from home as a camgirl, inserting large objects into me for money. I’m lucky though that I now have my girlfriend to help me through it. Without her, I don’t know what I would do most days. Also, its really fucking great to not have to be a goddamn boy anymore. If anyone else had a similar experience [and I know others have] you’re not alone, and good luck.

[xhaotixaesthetica]

Guardian Witch!Hyunjin

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator

You are in: a genetic mutation of The Fantasia Star System 

TRIGGER WARNING: one mention of groping, one mention of a creepy man luring kids in a van, some sexual themes

man this is gonna fuck me up so hard but lezzgettit i need to stop reading jae’s tweets

idk how it works in y’all’s universe, y’all got some weird shit going on that one dude, trump? WILDT

but here in CS2001, witches are a subcategory of demons, so basically you got a guardian demon trailing after you 24/7

guardian witch! hyunjin looks like the above picture, his eyes are like that constantly, but whenever he works any kind of magic, his irises glow

hyunjin is not a subtle bitch and he works magic pretty much 24/7 so either they’re normally constantly glowing or flashing like a fucking neon sign

once when y’all were cuddling and he was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes were just constantly glowing and when you asked about it he said, “I’m protecting you.” all casual like he does this shit all the time which he does sis do you know how many shields and protection spells are around your fucking house

crying rn, where can i get me a guardian witch! hyunjin

hyunjin is v young, esp for a demon, he’s the same age as you, but all the other demons are fucking terrified of him and they never tease him about it except his eight other crackhead demon friends

boy knows some powerful magic, some neutral, some light, and some very very dark

no one outwardly knows if he’s ever offed someone but he never gives a straight answer to the question, only this smug little smirk, and he knows a little too much about some very disturbing curses and torture devices

this is not to say that he’s a bad person, he’s not, he’s like the chaotic good type

because the only people that end up on his shit list are the people who deserve it

that dude who groped you without your consent when you were 13? yeah no one knows what happened to him, hyunjin don’t fuck with that sexual assault shit

the creepy dude in the white van trying to lure kids in that hyunjin happened to spot when he was walking you home from school one day? yeah, he’s missing and a bunch of previously missing kids were recovered the next day

he’s not like a vigilante or an antihero, boy spends most of his time with you anyways, but this shit is everywhere and if he sees it, he’s gonna put a stop to it

there was no big event where you came home and saw him chilling on your bed and threw him out the window in fear if i saw hyunjin’s fine ass on my bed after i came home from school, i’d probs cry and need a bowl of cereal to cope

he was just kinda always with you

demons are notoriously bad parents so when his mom had him, bitch just kind of dipped and he was assigned to you

witches don’t eat, not like humans anyways, they feed off energy, what kind of energy depends on what kind of witch it is

guardian witches feed off the life energy of their person, so as long as you’re alive he is too

growing up, your parents were no stranger to the name hyunjin cause you talked about him constantly but they thought he was just an imaginary friend till you were like seven and hyunjin started his drum faze and he was “drumming along” to linkin park on your father’s office desk at 3am

now they just don’t comment when shit starts floating around the house or you scream at them when they try to sit in a spot where hyunjin’s already sitting

he can actually appear to people if he chooses to, he just likes fucking with your parents, this dumbass thinks their reactions are funny

two of hyunjin’s dumbass demon friends, these little assholes named minho and jisung like to hang around your house and eat all your fucking food, EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE FUCKING WITCHES AS WELL AND DON’T NEED FOOD

they hang around your house constantly, it’s like they live there

it’s lowkey a battle for who can get hyunjin’s attention

now onto YOU and hyunjin

boy is WHIPPDT

he low-key follows you everywhere, not like a stalker, he’ll just find an excuse to go anywhere you go

claims it’s cause you need protection, when really he does, cause this bitch is ready to throw hands at any single loud noise

you and hyunjin are a couple but were best friends long before that and it fucking shows

knows all your orders from every single restaurant, but he doesn’t order it, he just pops it into existence cause he’s lazy and he doesn’t like the way the cashier checks you out when you guys go

jinnie takes his job as your guardian WAYY too seriously

you ain’t going outside in late fall without a jacket, you better be wearing short sleeves in summer, no standing around in the rain you might get sick, ANYONE messes with you at school, you gotta tell him so he can kick their asses

some things hyunjin doesn’t have a solution for but he’ll just be by your side for it and it’s so calming. you got a test? he’s sitting beside you both while you study and while you take it lowkey trying to help you cheat, you might have to hit him a bit or accept his help and cheat, do what you gotta do sis, you won’t need that info later on anyways

you gotta come out to your parents? boy’s right there rubbing circles on your hand with his thumb

you gotta give a speech? he’s in the audience with a foam finger and a fucking banner with your name on it, trying to be stupid and make you laugh

supportive in the most tsundere way

“ooh, that looks cool” he says nonchalantly, looking your talent show dance and pretending like he didn’t just finish putting  up flyers for the show, highlighting your name and crossing out the other contestant’s names and drawing mustaches on them and acting like it was just your fucking solo performance basically

the. CLINGIEST. BABY.

“y/n can we cuddle i had a nightmare :(”

“jinnie....it’s noon and you don’t sleep”

“ >:( HOLD ME YOU DUMB BITCH”

despite how he acts and how clingy he is, this boy is so fucking tsundere and actually quite shy

his eyes glow when you hold his hand cause he still has to perform a silent spell to keep himself from blushing

he pretends to be all aloof when his friends are over

“y/n don’t hold my hand, you have two for a reason, hold your own”

this is said WHILE he’s crawling into your lap and literally drinking from the same cup as you

he’s not reserved about PDA around other demons who aren’t his friends, boy wants them to know you’re taken

“jinnie, what are you doing why are your eyes glowing?”

“i don’t like the way that asshole was looking at you”

“but your eyes only glow when you— HWANG HYUNJIN DID YOU JUST MAKE ME INVISIBLE?!”

“don’t worry we both are”

whenever hyunjin feels really REALLY strongly (anger, lust, happiness, doesn’t matter as long as the emotion’s really really strong), his eyes will glow completely green iris, pupil, sclera the white part for you uneducated bitches, and all

you’ve only seen this happen three times (minus when you have sex, boy’s eyes go green quicker than you can get him on the bed)

the first time was when y’all were fifteen and he realized he loved you

it was stupid, you were literally just about to fall asleep and he was playing with your hair and looked down and was like wow, i would really die for this moron

and his eyes glowed green and he just poofed out of your room and you didn’t see him for two days it was like that video of that cat that ran in and said i love you and then zoomed off real confused cause they couldn’t handle their emotions

the second time was when y’all were 17 and you were the first to say i love you

he. literally. started. crying.

I MEAN BLUBBERING, YOU HAD TO CALM HIM DOWN

cause he still has doubts that anyone could ever really love a demon and he thinks that you’re amazing and you could get any guy you want but you fell for him? that shit just got to him man, he wouldn’t stop saying i love for for like three hours

fight me you dumb bitch, you’re literally a fucking god and you deserve all the love in the world

can y’all tell i love hyunjin, i love hyunjin so fucking much :(

and the third time was when an angel tried to get you to ditch him

they do this shit a lot actually, they don’t agree with the idea of any sort of demon being a guardian so they try to get the human to break the bond and get a guardian angel

and this angel was bold, he walked up to you when hyunjin was right there, the nerve of him >:(

hyunjin’s eyes glowed green as soon as he realized what was happening

“you have three seconds to get the hell away from my human before we have a fucking problem”

he fucking growled the words out

ngl, it was hot, you’d never really seen hyunjin this mad before 

the angel was scared af

yall went home and fucked after, for a loooong time

if you ever want to get hyunjin riled up, call him hyunjin instead of jinnie

his eyes glow green and he does that thing that people do where they like close their eyes and roll their neck around, trying to release the tension from their shoulders and keep themselves under control idk if you know what i’m talking about but it’s so dom, jimin from bts did it once and i think i had a spasm

“yes baby?”

and he’s looking down at you really intensely, like you’re something to eat

you can always tell when he’s in the mood either cause his eyes are glowing or suddenly your name has switched from y/n, love, sweetheart, and loser to baby or prince/ess

MOVING ON

jinnie has an animal form

it is, you guessed it, A SAMOYED DOG

except his fur is as black as his hair and he’s kinda VERY big for a samoyed, and his eyes are green

people who know what samoyeds are and are supposed to look like are kind of freaked out when they see him but everyone else just coos over how cute he is cause he is

he’s a very happy pup, actually likes for you to walk him and take him to the dog park and shit

doesn’t like leashes, but he’ll never admit that he actually likes wearing the collar with your name on it

“i just don’t see why i have to wear it y/n”

“jinnie, you don’t, you made me buy it”

“it’s not like if i can’t find my way home or teleport if the pound picks me up”

“that’s what i said before you made me buy it”

*dramatic sigh* “if you insist, just put the damn thing on so i can go play”

“jinnie, you don’t have to wear it, i really don’t care—”

“ >:( YOU’D BETTER CARE, JUST PUT THE STUPID COLLAR ON Y/N, DON’T MAKE ME CHEW UP YOUR SHOES AGAIN”

even sometimes changes into his samoyed form while you're at school and walks around the street so strangers give him food and pets and tell him how pretty he is

he’s really carefree and happy in this form and usually only changes into it when he’s really stressed or just wants to chill or play

he likes to lay on you in this form big ass mf thinks he’s a fucking lap dog or some shit so you rub his ears and give him pets and belly scratches and will not move until he gets them

lays in sunspots and sways his tail like a cat

not afraid to use the puppy dog eyes and they work everytime

call him a good boy or a good dog and he’ll probably bite you

do NOT play tug-of-war with this damn dog, he does not care that you’re his s/o, he will fucking DRAG you with NO. MERCY

one time y’all were at the mall and he was trotting along beside you in samoyed form, happy as a clam, until some rando person came up trying to spit game

long story short, jinnie peed on their leg

he got an earful that day but he still hasn’t apologized and probably never will

“i had to go y/n”

“YOU COULD’VE CHANGED INTO A PERSON AND GONE TO THE BATHROOM”

“c’mon prince/ss, it’s not like they didn’t get what they deserved, who wants to be flirted with while they’re walking their dog”

his logic makes ZERO sense and he knows it, bub just doesn’t wanna admit he was jealous

and as he’s saying this he’s back hugging you, whispering in your ear, swaying gently, even nibbling on your neck and earlobe a bit

he’s got you wrapped around his finger and he uses that to his full advantage

he thinks you deserve it for stealing his heart >:(, how dare you reader

ANYWAYS THIS IS LONG ENOUGH CAUSE I’M A SUCKER FOR ALL THINGS HYUNJIN

so basically guardian witch! hyunjin is a really chill but really devoted boyfriend, protective af with a heart of gold and would give you the moon and stars but pretends like he would sell you to satan for one corn chip

The Fantasia Star System 

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator

[taylorswiftreadmydiary13]

I’ve completely gotten lost. Aimlessly sidetracked.

This is my lover

This is my person. The love of my life. The place where my heart lives.

The one I would marry with paper rings, every single time. The one I let get away once, but know that in the end it��s a fight we are gunna win.

I’d move mountains, spin the world the other way, cross oceans for this man. I’ve loved him for half my life. From the very first time our eyes locked. This love came back to me.

August 25, 2020 update Illicit affairs 

part one: Mike

Do you ever stop to think about how your choices and decisions ricochet and impact others unsuspectingly? For me... I had a love. I had two children with this man of mine. We rarely fought, but when we did... it was always because exes of his with other motives wanted to “catch up,” for me, that was a hard line that no one should cross. I had been cheated on too many time to want to deal with those people, or be that person. Especially now that I had children, those were games that younger people should be playing if played at all. 

I remember one day you came home and wanted to tell me that you had just apparently realized that you were a smart ass, because Jen said so. This is something that was not new news to literally ANYONE who knows you. So you proceeded to tell me the story about how rude you were to another apprentice at work. & you were texting Jen about it. I asked why you even had her number? Because you were working together and you needed to call or text to tell others when or when not to stop. She was “one of the guys,” none of the men at work looked at her that way, you said. Plus, you added “she was trailer trash & I had nothing to worry about.” I voiced my opinion and said that she had no business texting you when you were not at work. 

I remember you graduation, and her barging her way between us all, while your entire family, the kids and I were standing in line. more specifically, she walked right between you and I... and your head turned to watch her walk away. The look on your face infuriated me. I almost slapped you. I almost made us all leave- fuck your graduation. You wouldn’t have done ANY OF THAT with out me... not with a child. Our house was ALWAYS clean, dinner was ALWAYS made, your laundry always done & folded away. One girl, one boy. It’s haunting to me how songs I heard as a 3rd grader that stuck with me like Dixie chics “He’s 2 and she’s 4, and you know they adore you... so how can I tell them that you’ve changed your mind?” haunted me for generations. Trains “one that’s 5 and one that’s 3, been 2 years since he left me.” whyyyy did those lyrics echo in my mind years and years before, foreshadowing exactly what was to come?

Christmas work party, same thing.. I saw you two talking across the room. You “just happened to bump into each other.” she’s a chain smoker, something you detest. You tell me stories about how one of the other guys at works gets blow jobs from her in the parking lot on lunch break, were you really telling me about what you two were doing, or were you just taking sloppy seconds? 

Look at this God forsaken mess that you made me!

the night before our son turned one, his first birthday party you were “at the gym” passed out in the parking lot. You were lying. you were cheating on me for over a year. After my father passed away. Finally telling me that my weight gain was a problem for you. But I didn’t see you helping me at all, you never took the kids for a few hours so I could go on a run, what did you do for me? 

That’s the thing about illicit affairs... stolen stares, they show their truth ONE single times. & they lie and they lie and they lie a million little times. Your new relationship is built upon a million little lies. If she cheats with you, she will cheat on you. And just so you know, as fast as he left me & his children he will leave you EVEN faster for the next skinny girl that comes along. If you haven’t noticed, it’s great and freeing to not have any “baggage’ holding you down. She fights you whenever the kids take time away from you. She fights you about me... still. To this day. foundation built on a million little lies. 

part 2: Adam

You know me. You’ve know me for years. We dated... we lost touch. We got back in touch, we kept in contact. Wished each other well when our lives took off with others. When our children were born. Nothing but love for each other, always. You found this video of this woman who was an artist... years before she had left the love of her life somewhere. She’s meeting with people and staring into their eyes for a minute. A million strangers, one minute at a time. Then she locks eyes with the lover that she lost all those years ago... and they lock eyes again- it was the most powerful and magical video and feeling that I have ever witnessed in my entire life. It’s the way we would lock eyes with each other oh so many years ago. You said you hoped that it would be our story. 

https://youtu.be/mEcqoqvlxPY

One night I received a call from you, after 5 plus years of not hearing from you. I thought someone must have died because you called repeatedly until I answered. At the time I was pregnant with my first child. It was actually the only night Mike and I had ever spent apart our entire relationship. timing... was it fate? You told me that you were sorry for how we ended. How you would tell your grandkids one day that the love of your life was me. A Californian girl that you were too stupid to not fight for. You told me that every night when you see the moon and the stars you think of me, and you wish and hope that I know and feel that you still love me, and pray that I think of you when I see the moon and stars, too. It was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to me. I remember wishing that every single girl in their life gets a phone call like that. You said “Bella, when you see the moon and stars, I want you to know that I’m looking at it too and thinking of you, and that no matter where you are in the world... know that I LOVE YOU with all my heart, and I will until my last breath.”

You were my best friend 3 states away; you were there for me when I was breaking up with Mike. You came to California to see me. You told me I was the love of your life; that you were already in contact with a lawyer to divorce Volde (short for Vodlemort) you told me all about how awful she was, not supportive. I tried to be the voice of reason. to coach you through different ways of communicating with her, to save your marriage. You said you did therapy and nothing changed. I told you that if I could go back in time, I wish that mike would have just been honest with me. If you’re not happy- say something. Before it’s too late. Before you cheat and take everything to the next level. You told me that you moved to the first floor- I saw your room. I saw the boxes,.. the text messages. We FaceTimed enough to me to feel like you weren’t lying to me about any of it. but 3 states away and both of us with kids- we were best friends and nothing more. what more could we be? 

You were the one who said that you wanted two years. Two years and you would be divorced and move out to California to be with me. My childhood best friend happened to move to the town next to yours... and she paid for me to come visit. I had no intentions of seeing you, of meeting up. But YOU made a point of ensuring that it would happen. I said lets meet for coffee. You asked me to meet you at a local soccer field, you wanted me to see where you grew up playing and where you would go when you missed me most. I agreed, but that we would go straight for coffee then lunch. You had nothing else to do for the day and asked if you could invite yourself over for BBQ and such. I didn’t think it would be a good idea, drinks and time alone with you would leave me too vulnerable. 

we get to the soccer field and we hugged for 17 minutes! and then you kissed me and told me how much you missed me. I asked what was the deal with you and volde, you said you got your own apartment with your brother since he divorced his wife. So I let that kiss lead to more. I let you in.. too easily.. I had no regrets and felt like everything that had led me to that point in time was an invisible string leading me back to you! 9/1/18, we saw each other for the next 3 consecutive days until I flew back home. I came to visit again not long after that. we were constantly on the phone, FaceTime, and texting. we spent hours just loving each other from near and far... Hours together just tied up under the sheets, hours on end with out going out to eat. hours just basking under the sun picnicking and cuddling near the river. 

I was in a full fledged long distance relationship, waiting for this man to tie up “his loose ends” until he would move here to be with me. We talked about everything, we talked ALL the time. So how I missed any warning signs is beyond me, and how you fooled me into be the OTHER woman is beyond me. Because you weren’t separated, you weren’t living in an apartment with your brother. That first day we reconnected, was your wedding anniversary! Who does that. I hated myself... for allowing anyone to ever make me that person that I have hated more than anything in the world. I would never ruin a family. I would never cheat with anyone. 

I never felt like I was stealing stares, or clandestine meetings. 

Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby. Look at this God forsaken mess that made me. You showed me colors you know I can’t see with anyone else. Don’t call me kid, don’t call me baby, look at this idiotic fool that you made me. you taught me a secret language I can’t speak with ANYONE ELSE. And you know damn well, that I would ruin myself a million little times. 

I would’ve lied for you. I would’ve protected you had you just be honest with me. But you made me out to be the bad person, you did that to not only me, but to your wife and your kids and for that... I will never forgive you. 

[nyruratchet]

Time...

“...Why you punish me?”

So, I explained last time the situation regarding the creation of my music...monetarily. But let me explain and expand on how my time is utilized on a monthly basis.

If I haven’t made it clear, I hate my job. But here’s the thing, it’s flexible (for the most part), has benefits: (insurance, free-ish air travel, scheduled pay increases). Cons: passengers are allowed to treat crew like shit, always working with new people (that you may not mesh well with), anyone you try establishing a relationship with has pre-conceived notions/little to no faith you will ever be around, pay SUCKS until you get REALLY senior (7+), and...more, but I digress. But that flexible schedule, albeit limited, has afforded me the ability to work on music; until it doesn't. 

See, I was getting “comfortable” in my work situation a few years ago until certain a situation beyond my control forced me into deep debt, bad credit, and deeper depression. In order to fix all of this, money is needed. How do u get money? Work more. More work leads to more depression and sometimes health issues. So, I’ve been stuck in this seamlessly endless cycle of paycheck to paycheck living. And my desire and NEED to work on my music has not helped it (as explained in the previous blog post). Every time I get a bit more money, it goes to my craft. 

See, after you put all that money into creating art, you have to then put it OUT there. And in the case of a performer, you need to do live performances. That is a whole other situation in itself. There are lots avenues to get live performance experience. Open mics, concert showcases, live cabaret/karaoke bars, etc. Guess what THEY ALL COST MONEY. But not only money, LOTS of excess time is involved. 

This past spring, I was dragged into a showcase by my producer friend (who I’m partially in love with but he’s straight...but that’s another story). In order to do a showcase, you have to apply for acceptance. Applications involve you submitting current work and having a worthy social media following (which you have had to spend constant time building). Once you fill out the application, send the files and info, PAY your entry fee ($25) and receive your acceptance, you then have to sell tickets. Yes, how do they get people to come to the showcase? By having YOU bring them. And if you cannot find people to buy your tickets, all of those tickets come out of YOUR pocket. So, I was given 25 tickets to sell (last minute mind you); 25 tickets to sell at $20 bucks each. So, if I don't sell them, I owe the company $500 dollars. Yup, that’s correct. In order for me to perform my original content on their stage, I needed to make sure they got their $525 and help them get people in the venue so that they buy drinks at the bar (which we were given ZERO drink tickets for). Now before stepping on stage, you don’t get a sound check. So, you show up early before everyone to check in and simply check they have your correct music file(s) then wait...and wait...and wait. But your music has to be edited within their restrictions (this means more studio time. Remember, studio time =more $$...just making sure ur following me. Too many times you’ll hear big recording artists talking about how they have just sat in studios for hours creating a song from scratch. Yeah, only if you are signed to major label is this a thing! But anyway...back to the showcase.) 

Needless to say, I did everything I needed to. But I had some help since I asked to do this last minute and told them UP FRONT they would have had to get that unsold ticket money from me in blood. I landed from working a redeye the day before, got a nap in, did my vocal exercises in my car on my way to New Jersey, checked in and sat there. Since some people didn't show up on TIME, I was abruptly grabbed from drinking my whiskey at the bar and told “YOU’RE ON NEXT!”  Being the seasoned professional that I am, took that shot to the head, said “Actually, that’s not my slot...but ok, I’m ready.” NO SOUND CHECK, NEVER given TIME on the stage beforehand...I went on. Sung my ass off with a standing ovation from the judges. Then, went back to drinking with my friends who were in shock because they had never heard me really sing live. Then I had sit for HOURS while mediocre “rappers” and “singers” rapped over pre-recordings of their own vocals. Finally, they were ready to announce the winners. I won that sucker.

But what did I win? ...A promise to be put into another show... *DICK FACE*  No money to recoup what I just spent getting to this moment. No free promotion on social media to help me and my art. NO, some bullshit. So, I took the experience fore what it was and cut my losses. I got some exposure and was able to test out an unreleased song...but besides that. Nothing but wasted time and effort. I left there feeling somewhere between elation and disappointment. Not to mention, I was exhausted; I had done all this after working my full time job, and had to work again the next day. So all I had time to do was drive home and sleep. 

“Like a wave bashing into the shore...

Since this, I have had some money issues and mental health issues, so I have just barely been able to work on music. On my days off, I have to sleep and get back in the groove of being a real person instead of a redeye zombie. Then when I’m feeling slightly normal, I’m back to work...it is a vicious, irritating, restraining cycle. I’ve tried working shorter flights so I’m home more; nope, the pairings (schedules) for those flights work you in a way that leaves you feeling raped. My company will build a pairing with a duty time of 27hrs and only pay you for 15-17 of those hours. DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. Then on top of that, your rest time at the hotel is set to 11hrs...WTF?? 

Let me explain this for those of you with normal jobs. On these pairings, you are schedule to work a number of flights each day. So, 3 day pairing means you work 3-4 flights each day and have 2 layovers. Now lets say FLIGHT time is 1.5-2.5 hrs each (8-12hrs). Then you land from your final flight for day one. We’re usually delayed at our carrier...honestly, rarely on time. So, you have minimum rest at 11hrs. BUT, before you can leave the aircraft we have to get all passengers off the plane, CLEAN the seats, wait on our shuttle which is probably late if your pilots are sucky human beings and haven’t called ahead to make sure they’re there (Pilots aren’t required to clean; just us lowly peasants). So, by the time you get to the hotel, down to 10hrs. If you get there and rooms are ready, great. IF NOT, another 20-30 min or longer. But, lets say you’re down to 9.5hrs now. Get to your room. Hopefully your key works, air/heat works, no one is already in you room (yes...it happens all the time), room already cleaned, no bed bugs, and you aren’t by a noisy ice machine/elevator. You then have to shower and eat. Let’s say you get all that done in an hour. You now have 8.5 hrs to sleep...BUT WAIT, the van is scheduled to pick you up from the hotel 45 min to an hour before you are supposed to report at the airport and you need to be dressed and ready to make that van. So instead of 8.5hrs, you actually have 7hrs at best to sleep and pop outta bed, get dressed and properly ready to do the shit show all over again; all the while, knowing they are really only paying you for the time you spend on the aircraft, AFTER THE DOOR IS CLOSED AND THE BRAKE IS RELEASED. Time before like boarding, checks, delays? nope...no pay. Just us waisting our fucking time. Literally.

Why, is this? cuz everyone does it is the answer. That is how all airlines do it, so you have no leg to stand on. Got a union, the company retaliates like a reprimanded toddler. Now as I said before, once you get to be a super senior in your company and can choose what you want to work, when you want to work, in the position you want to work, getting $40/hr at base hours and a crazy amount for premium (overtime) hour, etc. the job is GOLDEN. (Unless that company gets purchased/merged.) But for a young person/flight attendant in debt, living in NYC, with a high cost of living, life ain’t fun. I tried living in New Jersey for a lower cost; that came with its own issues. I’ve taken out loans, became a hermit to save money, worked holidays, etc. Dug my hole deeper is what I did. And I’m pretty good at setting goals and managing my time and getting things DONE. But for some fucking reason, life is not working in my favor. This job is not working for me. I see younger people coming up behind me doing LITTLE to no work, getting musical accolades with trash “music” (I know, matter of opinion...but really. C’mon now), young white/latino/asian twinks shaking their ass for anything that breathes and getting rich men to pay their bills or marry them, all the while telling me they just want my BBC or other racist BS like that (Yes, I have receipts) and I’m just like WTF AM I DOING WRONG?! Have I spent my time stupidly? 

And the most recent shit that really hurt my feelings: If any of you remember (to the three of you reading this lol), a few months ago I posted about help getting into bartending. Well, I had actually asked a friend in person before that about bartending and if he knew any directors who could do a music video. This “friend” told me “no, not really”. Didn’t know anything about that, he just does movies and short films (which I’ve donated to his kickstarters for btw...) but no one who he thinks does music videos. THEN, I asked this same “FRIEND” how much he would charge to be IN a music video, as I had a song (the one I won the showcase with) that he would be perfect for as it deals with subject matter he rallies for. I wanted to help his career out in turn by help my video out, because I’m ugly and having beautiful actors in my video would be a better sell (as again, I need this song to make money. He then tells me me, he’s not sure how much he would charge for that. SEVERAL MONTHS LATER...this bitch releases a music VIDEO to his NEW SINGLE about a SIMILAR SUBJECT!! Without promotion, he gets instant 2.2k hits on the video on youtube. MIND YOU, he would always be shy to sing around me and I told him, “you need to give yourself more credit. You have a beautiful voice.” Meanwhile, I’m asking for some knowledge from him, and he wouldn’t help me with ANYTHING. I have NEVER asked for a hand out. Just tell me where the door is, I will get in even if I have to pick the lock. But he not only pretended he didn’t know where the door was, he was holding the keys, had lock picks on the side and duplicates to share; But, for whatever reason...didn’t want to share that with me. Even though, I was going to include him in MY art without any thought and was willing to pay. Now, I have some thoughts on why he did this. But seeing as I’m on the verge of tears, I’ll end on that note.

...You wash away my dreams.”

[1112lw]

Every question!!

SDFFSDFG DAM OK SIS

LONG POST AHEAD IF U LITERALLY WANNA KNOW ME PERSONALLY JUST READ THIS LMFAO

1: Name: Arche/Jupiter, my close friends know my real name so!

2: Age: High school has just been done so try to guess

3: Fears: Heights, oral presentations, the dark

4: 3 things I love: Drawing, men- concept art n stuff like that

5: 4 turns on: Oh here we go- uhh thighs, messy hair? when they give u The Look or when they. say things i will not talk about here HHGBDF n uhhh Arms 👀👀

6: 4 turns off: weird macho attitude, overly confident bullshit, being selfish and fuckboys in general

7: My best friend: not sure what this means but my bff is named Daphnée n i love her and ive known her my whole life so 

8: Sexual orientation: homosexuale

9: My best first date: :))))))) as if

10: How tall am I: sigh. I’m 5″4

11: What do I miss: sometimes i miss the feeling loved ig

12: What time were I born: 12:19

13: Favourite color: pink!

14: Do I have a crush

15: Favourite quote: My senior quote!! “if what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, I’m telling you I’m immortal”

16: Favourite place: well? my room ig? I like my yard too

17: Favourite food: ugh ramen,,,korean dishes are TASTE as fuck but i also like classic ass spaghetti so like lol

18: Do I use sarcasm: does it look like i dont

19: What am I listening to right now: dr.phil LMFAO

20: First thing I notice in new person: Hair and eyes!! also how they laugh

21: Shoe size: Like. a 7-8 in women’s 6 in men’s 

22: Eye color: Hazel/Golden yes bitch let me be special

23: Hair color: it’s either dark brown or golden brown idk

24: Favourite style of clothing: bruv its either kpoppie fuckboy or uwu skirts pastels

25: Ever done a prank call?: no i have anxiety

26: Meaning behind my URL:

27: Favourite movie: rise of the guardians and HTTYD

28: Favourite song: Comeback Home (BTS cover)

29: Favourite band: looks in the camera i dont know nan molla huh

30: How I feel right now: I’m fine im hungry

31: Someone I love: shoutout to my babeys in my server ily

32: My current relationship status: Single(tm)

33: My relationship with my parents: theyre fine ig just a bit tired

34: Favourite holiday:

35: Tattoos and piercing I have: Ear piercings? that’s it

36: Tattoos and piercings I want:

37: The reason I joined Tumblr:

38: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I sure hope not?

39: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? A bit ig?

40: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Literally no

41: When did I last hold hands? Like last Friday

42: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 20 minutes

43: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i havent shaved in like months

44: Where am I right now? in my room, in quebec, canada

45: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? bitch i sure hope my friends would

46: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? fuck my ears 

47: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yeah

48: Am I excited for anything? yeah? yeah

49: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? ig? always

50: How often do I wear a fake smile? just at work tbh

51: When was the last time I hugged someone? not long ago i cant tell but my friends r cuddle monsters so 

52: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? i havent kissed anyone so 

53: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? lemme think uhhh no not rlly im not dumb 

54: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up n i thought i had school lol

55: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? oh john cock i want to be ur best friend

56: What do I think about most? i daydream 24/7

57: What’s my strangest talent? uhhh i can put my thumb behind my hand?

58: Do I have any strange phobias? trypophobia, if thats “weird”

59: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? depends on what the video is, mostly behind

60: What was the last lie I told? idk answering to my deadname

61: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? online

62: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I slightly believe in ghosts? also aliens GOTTA exist so 

63: Do I believe in magic? i think!

64: Do I believe in luck? yeah

65: What’s the weather like right now? very pretty i filmed a video outside!!

66: What was the last book I’ve read? L’Étranger d’Albert Camus in french class

67: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes my dad’s a mechanic

68: Do I have any nicknames? a lot a lot

69: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? bitch @ my birth #neverforget 

70: Do I spend money or save it? i have 40$ in my name right now

71: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

72: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? yes highlighter

73: Favourite animal? cats or otters

74: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? FBISDFD NO WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT

75: What do I think is Satan’s last name idk he can have any last name he wants!!!

76: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? everytime i start hearing “waiting for you anpanman” or “i just wanna go home” 👀👀

77: How can you win my heart? aaahh. be a twink. b fashionable. b funny. cheesy. pls romance me like a npc in the sims 2

78: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? s(he) died smh

79: What is my favorite word? cunt is SUCH a satisfying word

80: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? oh great uh honestly cant be fucked 

81: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? please have brain. PLEASE

82: Do I have any relatives in jail? i sure hope the fuck not?

83: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? either invisibility or mind reading

84: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? ahaaa “what are your intrusive thoughts”

85: What is my current desktop picture? my lesbian sims getting married LMFAO

86: Had sex? no

87: Bought condoms? no

88: Gotten pregnant? NO

89: Failed a class? i think yeah maths last year

90: Kissed a boy? :(((

91: Kissed a girl? no

92: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

93: Had job? I have a job rn so 

94: Left the house without my wallet? yeah when i go to school

95: Bullied someone on the internet? define bullying?

96: Had sex in public? virgin squad

97: Played on a sports team? yeah

98: Smoked weed? no ew

99: Did drugs? no ew

100: Smoked cigarettes? NO EW

101: Drank alcohol? yep 

102: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no i’d die

103: Been overweight? i’m twig

104: Been underweight? i think i was underweight when i was young? i was very Small

105: Been to a wedding? yes very long boring

106: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? bruh. everyday

107: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? probably?

108: Been outside my home country? ONCE

109: Gotten my heart broken? TWICE !

110: Been to a professional sports game? yesss canadians game!!

111: Broken a bone? no

112: Cut myself? not technically 

113: Been to prom? SOON SOON SOON SOSOSNSBFSHDD

114: Been in airplane? once

115: Fly by helicopter? i am not rich bitch

116: What concerts have I been to? noneeee- WAIT NO MARIE MAI

117: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? not sex but for the purpose of pretending i have a penis yes plenty

118: Learned another language? yeah!! i learned english, i almost learned spanish and i’m trynna learn korean now

119: Wore make up? i try!! but i’m not super good

120: Lost my virginity before I was 18? not 18 yet but it’s goin that way

121: Had oral sex? as if 

122: Dyed my hair? i wishhh

123: Voted in a presidential election? I WISH THE ELECTIONS R ONE MONTH B4 MY BIRTHDAY 

124: Rode in an ambulance? nope

125: Had a surgery? yes at a week old 

126: Met someone famous? i think yes but i was super small

127: Stalked someone on a social network? define stalked?

128: Peed outside? yes

129: Been fishing? YES

130: Helped with charity? i think? we do volunteering so 

131: Been rejected by a crush? not directly

132: Broken a mirror? no 

133: What do I want for birthday? boyf......boy..boyff

134: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? oh man uhh maybe 2-3, i dont know their names yet honestly

135: Was I named after anyone? MY DAD NAMED ME AFTER A FUCKIN CLIENT HE MET. as for my actual name now I named myself after my fav video game character. lit

136: Do I like my handwriting? yeah!!

137: What was my favourite toy as a child? bitch hot wheels

138: Favourite Tv Show? hells kitchen,,,,judge judy,,,anythin like that

139: Where do I want to live when older? honestly i wish i could just live in japan or tokyo, or new york? but i will most likely end up in montreal 

140: Play any musical instrument? i used to play the clarinet last year!!

141: One of my scars, how did I get it? the one on my knee, i scratched my desk with my knee 

142: Favourite pizza toping? my dad makes AMAZING sea food pizzas,,,

143: Am I afraid of the dark? a lot

144: Am I afraid of heights? A LOT

145: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? idk prolly? im a bit of a goody two shoes or however u spell it

146: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end: dont we all

147: What I’m really bad at: organizing my anxiety n shit i get overwhelmed

148: What my greatest achievments are: finishing high school 

149: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: honestly has to be that time someone dug up my vent post about being dysphoric to try to say i hated myself with some dumbass DySphorIa Is SelF HaTRed argument

150: What I’d do if I won in a lottery: pay my parents’ debt off, buy 284223$ of BT21 merch, pay my whole college/uni and transition

151: What do I like about myself: idk i like how i literally do not give a fuck anymore and ive learned to love myself instead of trynna care

152: My closest Tumblr friend: @peptobismol-official​ @ace-landofthesun​ @dorkalisious​ and ana but idk her @ anymore :((( ana pls

153: Something I fantasise about: we dont talk about that

154: Any thoughts on the paranormal?: lit. please stop crawling in my ceiling !

ok now that u know my whole biography. go doxx me ig. bye bye

[appavevo]

okay so listen some times you get really interested in one single thing and that’s all you think about for a long time so you develop some dumb thoughts and here are a list of mine about atla and tlok in no particular order

1. in tlok they made aang look so BORING like so COOKIE CUTTER. the only times i like how they made aang look is in the old friends poster and in the picture where he’s airbending the rolls like that’s IT like come on yall focus too much on making the hair differenet people got faces too ya know

2. TENZIN IS LIKE 16 YEARS OLDER THAN PEMA??? ISN’T THAT CRAZY??? LIKE PEMA WOULD HAVE ONLY BEEN ABOUT 20 WHEN AANG DIED. ALSO TENZIN HAD KIDS SO OLD

3. at the end of tlok bumi must be about the age (maybe a few years younger) when aang died that’s so weird bc bumi doesn’t look old i wonder how it happened with aang like maybe the last few months of his life he just physically aged like 30 years wouldn’t that be weird (and sad)

4. i mentioned this before but i’ve seen posts like “its sad to think about the fact that aang probably had to bury appa” and NO i refuse to believe that esp appa bc i thought an avatars spirit animal lives as long as the avatar? like roku’s dragon lived and died with him so that’s what happened with appa too. also momo, i’ve decided

5. kinda.............weird how learning the avatar state was like one of THE main problems in atla and aang had a hard time with it and it was considered this awesome power that we didn’t see that often and the in the legend of korra she just.......................gets it. like aang gives her her bending back and oh here’s the full power of the avatar state as well no need to learn about the chakras and meditate on life or whatever hey also have some energy bending as well why not

6. lin beifong is literally so hot 

7. also in the legend of korra, bending isn’t as cool.. like in atla bending has all the beautiful forms and its like a dance or an art like that dance aang and katara did was based on their bending moves!!! and tlok isn’t like that and they try to spin it like “oh its modern now” but that’s just lazy and  boring

8. also (that one video explained this better than i could) while it’s kind cool to see the new technology mixed with the bending at first, the legend of korra is so much more american than atla, like i can see how a city with all those cultures mixed together might be a bit culturally ambiguous but like....... idk they talk about democracy in a weird way and they literally got the statue of liberty type thing going on (although i love every reference to aang i can get) and idk how to describe it. the bending is like this too where it used to be based off of hung ga kung fu or tai chi chuan now it’s just ..........boxing. i’ve seen some people say it’s because its easier to animate but like idk

8.5 oh also the whole good and bad evil spirit thing goin on (i forgot their names i think the good one was raava?) was really like god and satan smelling even though they tried to paint it as yin and yang idk it just didn’t come off like that

9. speaking of animation while i am desperate for new material can they NOT MAKE ANOTHER LIVE ACTION VERSION like........make a NEW STORY or maybe just DON’T with how korra turned out just like.....focus on the goddamn comics bc those are kinda fun and chill

10. bolin is pretty funny but him and mako and even asami are kinda boring im sorry but they are(asami is more interesting than mako though)

11. also fucked up how like the culture that was the most accepting and peaceful and spiritual and kind is the one that we never fuckin see this isn’t really a complaint about the plot just like it fuckin sucks!!! i would have loved to see some gay and funny air nomads

12. also maybe this is just bc im a big dumb fan but i refuse to believe aang was a bad father like maybe he didn’t divide his time in the best way but hey no one’s perfect and kya esp made it clear she wasn’t interested in air nomad culture so like what was he supposed to do ALSO SORRY BUT HE HAD TO LITERALLY BUILD A WORLD OUT OF 100 YEARS OF WAR AND REBUILD HIS CULTURE OUT OF NEXT TO NOTHING LIKE SORRY HE DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO TAKE YOU FISHING OR WHATEVER 

13. i do love kya though bc lesb 

14. THAT ONE LINE IN TLOK THAT WAS LIKE “ZUKO KNEW AANG BETTER THAN ANYBODY”??????? LIKE OF COURSE THEY WERE VERY COURSE BUT KATARA IS RIGHT THERE???? HELLO???

15. bc im a big dumb stupid idiot every character i get attached too i immediately insist that they can sing bc i’ve always wanted a really good singing voice so i’ve decided that aang is just like, a great singer

16. god i just love momo

17. UHHH I’M CURRENTLY READING THE WIKI AND IT SAYS THAT KYOSHI LIVED TO BE 230??? THAT’S COOL????? 

18. i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, air nomad avatars are just cooler bc of their fuckin tattoos. when those tattoos glow? fuckin tight. korras just got her eyes and like.......where’s the drama and conflama 

19. while the spirit world can be interesting idk how i feel about the spirits in the legend of korra, like all cutesy and weird like that, like i don’t hate it, it’s just really different from atla spirit world and idk

20. i’ve always been curious about aangs tattoos like,,,, the ones on his arms go into his armpit, but like the one on his back? does that just go all the way to his ass or what? and where do the leg ones stop do they connect with the back ones or just go to the hip bones or idk

21. i wanted a detailed map and description and history of air temple island and i want it now

22. while i know that extensive and unnecessary backstory and weigh a good story down WHO ARE AANGS PARENTS, I’M JUST CURIOUS. LIKE WERE THEY EVER TOLD HE WAS THE AVATAR?

23. i will defend aang until the day i die bc he was so young and so good and even the stuff he did selfishly he has like ample reason to can u imagine being twelve and waking up and realizing that not only are you the only person left of your race and culture and history and that everyone you knew and loved, like even people you didn’t really know but the people who you would smile too sometimes, the all died pretty violent and horrible deaths while you were just stuck in some ice bc you got hit by some storm after running away can u imagine???? ALSO LIKE the world hadn’t had an avatar for a century so he had to just like make shit up as he went along of course he could talk to his past lives but like..........idk!!!! and how do you build up

24. I ALREADY SAID THIS BUT KORRA JUST..........GETS THE POWERS. LIKE WE SAW AANG NOT ONLY LEARN THE ELEMENTS BUT ALSO DEAL WITH LEARNING ABOUT THE AVATAR STATE IN DEPTH AND HOW BEING THE AVATAR WORKS AND IT WAS SPECIAL AND INTERESTING AND WE COULD HAVE SEEN KORRA WORK TO GET HER AIRBENDING POWERS AND HER SPIRITUAL SIDE AND HER AVATAR STATE BUT THEY WERE ALL JUST FUCKIN HANDED TO HER EVEN THE E N E R G Y BENDING LIKE COME ON................................................................GIRL WHOS WRITING THIS

25. real disrespectful how much sokka is neglected in tlok!!! smh

26. this is very important to me but my favorite episode (not really including the last ones bc those are just on a dif level) but my favorite episode is 3x2 The Headband which was the footloose ep if you don’t remember..........it’s just fun............he just wants to dance AND HE WAS FUCKIN MACKIN YOU SEE THAT SHIT?????????? “DON’T WORRY ABOUT THEM IT’S JUST YOU AND ME NOW” LIKE BITCH!!!! YOU’RE TWELVE YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEIN THAT SMOOTH also i LOOOOOOVE the fact that aang being a good dancer is literally canon....................

27. i literally never wanted to know how the avatar cycle started like don’t explain the magic like that just leave some mystery

[nivearga]

This Is A New York Story

11/12/2018

I’m sitting in a Delta Sky Lounge, sipping on the fourth complimentary whiskey and coke. You ruin whiskey with that shit, you told me once at Tangier airport. We got drunk as soon as they told us our flights were cancelled. We kept drinking until the morning after, when the concierge called us to wake us up, our bus to the airport waiting for us. You didn’t wake up, I left. I cried my eyes out for the entire flight back. I came back from that trip completely broke, sleepless, without any documents left but my passport, and hopelessly infatuated with you. 

Three years are passed and I’m again at an airport trying to get drunk. This time because there’s no way I can accept flying back home knowing that we didn’t meet. I managed to hide my sadness quite brilliantly but it comes to no surprise as the only art I can say to have mastered in my life is the one of deceiving feelings. There was just a moment that hit me pretty badly. One night at a restaurant where I was eating asparagus while everyone else around me ate lobster, the voice of Frank Sinatra started singing New York, New York in the background. I immediately knew it couldn’t end well. It was two years ago, we were in Rome and already quite wasted we stopped in a really small karaoke bar. You insisted to sing that song, everybody around was charmed by your voice. Some months later you told me, I didn’t sing Frank Sinatra to you for no reason, my darling. Unexpectedly, you love Sinatra. I still remember your profile in the darkness humming Fly me to the moon while I was still half asleep. I always thought Strangers in the night was the perfect depiction of our first meeting. Back to that Manhattan restaurant, I tried so hard not to think about all of those memories when Sinatra finally sang My way. My way is outside your life, apparently. It’s always been. 

09/12/2018

At some point, in my erratic discovery of the streets of New York City, I found myself wandering around the aisles of Crate and Barrel. Sometimes, probably more often that I’d like to admit, I like to immerse myself into an environment that doesn’t belong to me in any possible way. Preppy homeware department store Crate and Barrel is one of them. I have no kitchen, nor house, that I would like to decorate and I have no particular interest or adequate money to invest in a $250 waffle maker, but I like how my mind starts to behave in such places. That particular time, I started thinking about her, for real, for the first time. I imagined her as a kind of person that actually enjoys spending her time at a shop like Crate and Barrel. You told me she was freaking out at the idea of you meeting me. About me. Did she know who I am? Who is she? Did she look up for me? Did she find me? Is my Facebook profile picture target of hideous comments in some all-female instant messaging group? I hope not. Or maybe, not so subtly, I do hope so. I don’t mind being the reason why someone would freak out. Not long before bailing on me, you told me you didn’t have your ass eaten in too long. So that’s the only thing I know for sure about her. That and the fact that freaked out at only the idea of us meeting. Sure you don’t want your girl to be one of those who eat ass and don’t freak out when you sleep with someone else. Those are the kind of girls you call my whore, the kind of girls sending you videos of them masturbating, those who let you sleep with other because they don’t consider you their possession. They are the kind of girl I am.

17/12/2018

Back to the streets of London. I feel I don’t belong here but at the same time I feel at home in the particular state of loneliness I feel in this city. I walk down roads I walk down everyday and still I feel a newcomer, an outcast. The Southern train towards Croydon has become my new home. A week has passed and I don’t feeling anything. I’m numb. I dragged myself to work every single day since I’m back and completely alienate myself from hours. I repeated mechanically the same sentences to customers over and over again. Sometimes the echo of my voice wakes me up from the numbness and an utter sense of despair and acrimony towards people completely overcome me. 

07/12/2018

You: Thank you for being understanding.

25/12/2018

You: I feel terrible we didn’t hang out. 

03/01/2019

There are moments that are absolutely cathartic in life and you immediately realise it while you’re living them. It was Friday 7th December, I was standing in the middle of Astor Place, crying, trying to roll a cigarette while the wind and the cold worked against me. I’m not ashamed of crying in public. I’ve cried so many times in front of strangers, especially on public transports, that I’m now comfortable with it. I’ve always lived in careless metropolis, where people don’t give a fuck about you. Nobody ever offered me a tissue paper, a word of comfort, on the contrary I always made them uncomfortable. In that square I don’t even think somebody saw me, I was invisible in a city I didn’t belong to, that rejected me cold heartedly. And for that specific reason, I felt at home for a very brief moment. My tears were supported by the voice of Billy Corgan, my favourite soundtrack for these moments. The killer in me is the killer in with you. I cried because you rejected me, I literally flew to other side of the planet to see you and you didn’t want to. You preferred being a good partner. Even if until a few days before you couldn’t wait to fuck me in the ass. Your words. But I’m repeating myself. I particularly hated you in that moment because you just ruined one of those moments. 

18/01/2019

I was sitting in the dark, alone, watching a film by Cosey Fanni Tutti performing a castration. You could hear people retching, someone almost passed out and had to leave the room. I stared at this penis getting mutilated and all I could think was that you’d never been the person coming to me to hear Cosey Fanni Tutti talk and watch her films. You don’t have any idea of who she or Throbbing Gristle or Genesis P-Orridge are. You don’t have idea of who many artists I consider seminal for my development as a person are. I don’t want to spend my words and thoughts and feelings and time for someone I cannot share my interests with. Dam always says he doesn’t think one should share the same passions as the person they love. I strongly disagree. I’ve spent my entire life experiencing art and music and film and literature by myself only, I think I finally deserve someone that cold understand me. I just want someone to go to watch Cosey Fanni Tutti films together. And that person is certainly not you. And after all, I can go to the cinema by myself. I already do.

The second film of the night was a collection of photographs from Cosey’s life morphing into each other, faces merging into buildings merging into guitars. For a brief moment, when Cosey arrived in the room, she looked in my direction. I think we stared at each other for a second that seemed never-ending.

[slowdelicate]

@ the phandom

i'm going to say something, and i know a lot of people won't like what i have to say, and it’ll be a very long post, but here we go

i see people being VERY mad, disappointed (which is fine, being somewhat disappointed, i mean) and even straight up rude and accusatory towards dan after his latest liveshow and because of the way he talked about the reaction people had and the 'jokes' a lot of people in the phandom made after his video. and i just think this intense, angry atmosphere a lot of people are trying to spread is a) not justified and b) pretty damn selfish and not sensible. you all do realize it's not dan who constantly over-analyzes and objectifies you people? you realize dan doesn't tell you how you should do this and that and doesn't try to 'prove' anything about your private life? he doesn’t make all those claims about anyone here, it's you. you people who do that to him. so could you, maybe, forgive the guy for getting overwhelmed by your reaction? i know he told not to treat him differently because of that, because he doesn’t want pity and his struggles don’t define him as a person, but the thing is, he suffers from depression and anxiety, that alone messes with your head and makes you feel low and on edge. dan posted a video in which he just wanted to update people on his life and express how he wants to try to be more authentic and happy, despite the fact that he's struggling with that a lot and doesn't even know who he really is at the moment (most probably because so many people, in the phandom, mainly, expect him to be a certain way and do certain things and it all unfortunately fucks with his self-image and self-worth). he made it clear that so far he doesn't have definite answers on what to do to achieve what he wants to achieve and he'll just be doing micro steps in that direction, one step at a time. which is VALID. and maybe, just maybe, he also tried to be more vulnerable with us by mentioning something more personal to him and asking people to let him live. and the most intense and visible reaction he gets to that video is 'oMG DID HE REALLY JUST COME OUT :O' 'he sucks dick!!!!! LOL!1 we been knew!!’ ‘whose dick you be suckin, dan?? ;)) phil's??? 👀' 'lucky phil!' ‘pHaN cOnFirMed!!!!’ 'he came out and i'm so proud of him!!!!' ‘he’s gay and idk how to feel about it >:/’ 'DICK DICK DICK' and like he said, he wasn't even trying to make any grandiose statements regarding anything? it was... just a life update? with a message of him saying that he wants to try to be happy? and a lot of people whose reactions he most likely saw were very insensitive and made too much of a big deal out of his sex mentions? which isn't really dan's fault, is it? and it’s not like he said that you people are stupid or anything. he blamed himself. either for not being able to get his point across to some people, or for oversharing, or for being a ‘fool’. 

i think he blames himself for once again ending up in some sort of fucked up situation where people don’t get his intentions, as usual. he blames himself for not even knowing what to do to make things right. and, sorry not sorry, but he has the right to be upset and uncomfortable with the people who went over the line with their reception of the video. he does have that right and you all don’t get to tell him how to feel since none of you are in his position where millions of people look at you and hundreds of thousands of shippers watch your every move and theorize about literally everything you do or say, blowing things out of proportion and making everything about one single thing, all the time. 

and speaking of theorizing. i saw how some people were saying that dan needs to work on his communication with his audience and how he needs to say what he wants from them. and i find it funny, you know, because dan and phil both have made it pretty clear they don’t like or appreciate how people theorize about their private lives and make bold assumptions, stating things as if they are facts, and yet? nobody gives a fuck about that? 

^ so many people keep doing that and keep trying to ‘prove’ shit, keep taking things out of context and keep making a mockery out of dan and phil. so maybe they realized that it’s pretty fucking pointless to try to express their real thoughts on what many of you are doing? dan is the same guy who had to unfollow charlieskies (x) after him making a shitty, threatening ‘joke’ or whatever that was. dan literally cut ties with him, despite the fact that they used to be friends, but charlie was just pushing and pushing and being an ass, much like many of you have been to dan for years. dan is the same guy who had to unfollow shane dawson on twitter last year after him doing this (skip to 4:17)

shane used to be one of dan’s biggest inspirations on youtube, he used to really admire him, but if you still didn’t get it, dan HATES it when people assume and theorize and create invasive rumors about him and phil. nobody respects that, however. it’s funny to everyone else, right? 

basically, what i wanted to say is: PLEASE, chill the hell out with your favourite sport: jumping to conclusions. PLEASE, try to be more empathetic. PLEASE, let dan and phil live. PLEASE, be more respectful with the language you choose to use when you talk about dan and phil or when you make all those jokes because you don’t know them and because your actions, even online, have their consequences. understand that dan doesn’t try to manipulate you with malicious intentions. dan doesn’t try to tell you all how to live your lives, but all of you do that to him and phil on the daily. so maybe some of you need to be less harsh and take some of the blame yourselves and not just frame dan as the villain who ‘let the entire lgbtq+ community down’ or ‘is ruining your ship’. dan can’t be responsible for every projection every person ever makes, can he? he’s only human who’s clearly been going through something difficult and it honestly sucks how many people see him as a puppet who doesn’t function in the way they want him to. that is all.

[roleplay-salt]

“Wow, just when you think “Tumblr can’t get much worse” you learn that they witchhunt even more than you thought (like, how the fuck is Attack on Titan pro-National Socialist) and doxxing people’s faces is a-okay by large parts of the community if they’re Undesirables™, FIRE UP THE GULAG, BOYS, WE’VE GOT A WRONGTHINKER. Honestly, every single time I’ve ever seen someone on this site go “YOU’RE A NAZI”, they know NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, of what the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei actually was or believed or anything. I’m sure they never even knew Nazi was a contraction of the German words for national and socialist. Fucking insane ideologues who can’t understand shit about shit and half their own policies directly align with the Waffen SS way of thinking. They can’t see anything other than their little lens of the world and absolutely everything is political or racist or sexist or some other bullshit and everyone with the wrong opinion needs to be persecuted as much as possible. The Nazis came to rise through information about them being suppressed and them being conflated with every day people, you fucking morons are doing everything wrong if you actually want to reduce racism or support for them. This is how YOU HELP THEM. Like holy shit are you people ignorant fools, the white nationalists even straight up say in their videos the only people not disappointing them are their enemies, you are all behaving the EXACT WAY THAT GOT THE NATIONALSOZIALISTISCHE DEUTSCHE ARBEITERPARTEI SUPPORT IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE. It got to where the communists and anarchists were beating every day people and attacking anyone they deemed morally inferior in the streets and the Nazis were the primary target and they called everyone Nazis, the Nazis go “if you give us some power then maybe we can help” and then they gained support and then they used the same tactics but far more subversively and executed all opposition in secret. By conflating literally everything you see with racism and Nazism and sexism and watering down the definitions and suppressing information about them you can only help them. I’m going off on a tangent here but fuck all of your inquisitorial jackasses. Oh you want to talk anti-semitic how about you go on about how the LGBT parade banned several Jewish people because the symbol was “offensive to Muslims” you fucking ideologues, oh what’s that? They’re on your side so you shut the fuck up about it? WELL COLOR ME FUCKING SURPRISED. I CAN’T BELIEVE A BUNCH OF IDEOLOGUES REFUSE TO APPLY THINGS EQUALLY. Oh yes post that hammer and sickle everywhere “ha ha I’m anti-Nazis but I’m full soviet, the group even more successful at genocidal campaigns against wrongthink than the Nazis and starving everything.” I love Soviet and Nazi memes, I love the themes and songs used in fiction, but that’s all ironic and in mockery of them. I wouldn’t expect an ideologue to have the self awareness or insight to be able to even care about historical evidence so I’m just ranting at a brick wall. Same goes to the fucking National Socialists but they aren’t really existent on here are they? Because they’re such a fucking tiny powerless group that only matters because you keep giving them power and relevance by calling everything to be them, you give them that association and power. Just like you tried to do with that whole “lizard people jokes are anti-semitic Nazi jokes” no they’re fucking not they originate in a Conan the Barbarian comic from the 1930’s before the Nazis were even on the world stage you fucking batshit insane witch hunters, you’re just throwing everything over to the neo-Nazis and saying they own everything. Anyone who actually understood history and how the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (and yes, they were socialists, not pretending to be socialists just to get support. stop fucking lying, they just hated every other brand of socialism just like the Soviets did because it threatens their control, Hitler worked on the Volkswagen Beetle specifically to get an affordable car for every man. He instituted constant socialist policies and nationalizations, it was socialist, study some fucking history you ignorant jackasses) actually operated and came to power would know just how fucking terrible you guys are at opposing them and how you are just like the brownshirts, you just aren’t breaking faces yet, well, at least most of you aren’t, though I’ve seen constant support for beating people for wrongthink, but everything aligns. This is the exact WRONG THING TO DO and you are just a mirror image of them that uses claims of sexism and racism as jackboots. Lord, give me strength to ignore and forgive these jackasses on all sides because I’m really fucking struggling here with how blind and insane some of these people are and how deeply entrenched and damaging they are on this site.“

RE: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78

[bitegore]

I was tagged by the absolutely awesome @gold-from-straw and I’m gonna tag a few people so uhhh... @mllemusketeer , @poplitealqueen , @travellinglemonworkshop , @chaotictrickster , @ternaryflower53

post: 

A snippet of your work in progress

The theme song for your WIP

The theme song for your protagonist

The theme song for your antagonist

The theme song for your protagonist’s love interest (if they have one)

The theme song for the main pairing of your WIP

The theme song for the opening chapter (if it’s a long fic)

Song for the current chapter/page (if it’s a long fic)

Any other songs you’d like to mention and why

and then tag some friends and have fun!

A snippet of your work in progress

They dragged him before the council again. They shoved a single cube of energon into Megatron’s hands and forced him, again, to his knees. He made to lift his head and the enforcer on his right snatched the cube from his starvation-weakened servos. “Bow, filth, and you get your precious energon back,” the enforcer snapped. Megatron weighed his options—his dignity, or his life?—and then slowly inclined his head, training his optics on the floor.

“Good mech,” the enforcer purred, and held the cube out again.

Megatron snatched it and, this time, drained it in one quick gulp. He heard the enforcer to his left chuckle.

How he wished to tear off their faceplates and bash their faces to shattered wrecks beneath his fists. But he knew it was hopeless, and so he knelt on the floor of the Senate, and he waited.

“Megatron of Tarn,” one of the councilors said, voice laden with condescension. Megatron had never bothered to learn who was who, and so all he knew was that this was one of many mechs with too much power and too much arrogance than could possibly be good for anyone other than themselves. ”You have disobeyed the will of Primus and defied your path in life . You have attempted to tempt others to follow in your sinful footsteps. You have attempted to seduce others to follow your evil rhetoric. Is this not true?”

Megatron raised his optic ridges, though he kept his gaze fixed on the floor. He didn’t want to tempt the enforcers to do something to him that he couldn’t fight off. “Is this meant to be some mockery of a trial?”

One of the enforcers hit him over the back of the helm with something, and Megatron winced as his optics shorted out for a moment.

“Megatron of Tarn, you stand accused of these heinous crimes,” the unnamed senator snapped. “Are the charges true?”

Megatron attempted to lift his head and received another brutal blow to the back of the helm instead. “Frag you!”

An angry rumble went around the room.

“Admit your guilt,” the senator snarled at Megatron.

Megatron gritted his dentae, bracing for the blow he knew would come. He glared at the senate floor. “The things I’m accused of—you are the guilty ones!”

The theme song for your WIP

A Song for the Nameless by Sworn In(video) (lyrics)

At its core, Project Forged Chains is about revolution, but also at its core, Project Forged Chains is about brainwashing and brainwashing aftermath. A Song For The Nameless is kinda about both. At once. Both about dismantling the prejudices that one holds and , also, about breaking one’s programming in the more literal sense.

The Great Die Off by Rise Against (video) (lyrics)

This one is just pure revolution. Revolution a la we’re going to end you and supplant you and build a better world in your wake and you are not allowed to bring your ideals to our new order.

The theme song for your protagonist

Zero Visibility by Rise Against (video) (lyrics)

Megatron wants to make things better. The problem is, he’s never gotten to see a better world. He’s going to keep trying and keep trying, but his guidance is just a guess in the dark. At least the Decepticons will be with him for the ride, but there’s no guarantee his world will be a better one so much as it will just be one that strives to be better. They walk through the dark, and Megatron, blind, tries to guide them down a path he cannot see.

Forty Six and Two by Tool (video) (lyrics)

Megatron gets shadowplayed and brainwashed. Forty Six and Two is about digging out the secrets and pitfalls in your subconscious mind. Unfortunately for Megatron, that’s…a bit more literal than the song originally was.

The theme song for your antagonist

Red Right Hand by Karliene Reynolds (video) (lyrics)

It’s so quintessentially Proteus. Proteus controls the Senate, controls the people, does all these things for power and blackmail and pulling all the strings in his own metaphorical red right hand. He wields his money and privilege like an executioner’s axe. He’s also generally a douche who doesn’t conceive of the people he considers ‘lesser’ as real beings, but that’s kind of besides the point, because every nobleman Cybertronian did that. That’s why Megatron’s gonna kill em all lmfao

The theme song for your protagonist’s love interest (if they have one)

Never go Back by Evanescence (video) (lyrics)

This one is really good for when Orion starts to lose his strong sense of morality after seeing everything that the Decepticons face from the Decepticon perspective and not as an outsider and then an Autobot. He starts to feel like he’s coming undone, and the only thing that really keeps him grounded is Megatron—but of course, Megatron himself is looking to dismantle the rest of the world and bring Cybertronian society crashing down about everyone’s ears. Don’t get me wrong—Megatron has a hell of a moral compass himself, albeit a somewhat rewritten one, but he and his views are not very good for Orion as he’s going through the downward spiral of yet another Patented Optimus Prime Crisis of Conscience(tm).

Ticks and Leeches by Tool (video) (lyrics

Basically, Orion @ the upper class’s mistreatment of his newfound close friends in the Decepticon movement and…well…everywhere, ever, really, Functionism fucking sucks.

The theme song for the main pairing of your WIP

Become the Beast by Karliene Reynolds (video) (lyrics)

Orion isn’t getting the option of staying his original, somewhat more idealistic self here; he’s being dragged headfirst into the dangerous life of being a rebel, and, eventually, an insurgent rebel, by the Decepticons and especially by a newly-minted, forged-in-fire-and-furious-about-it Megatron. He may have found new friends, and love, and all this nice happy belongingness among the Decepticons, but ultimately it is a dark path he winds up walking here.

Better Things by Memphis May Fire (video) (lyrics)

It’s very much Megatron about Optimus @ Proteus after the Chainlink arc (which is currently plotted for chapters 14-17!). Orion helps Megatron get himself together after everything, but Optimus is the one burning in fire and fury beside him. And together, they will remake the society that broke them.

The theme song for the opening chapter (if it’s a long fic)

White Washed by August Burns Red (video) (lyrics)

Megatron here is arrested and forcibly stopped from doing what he does, but he still has that anger and rebelliousness in him.

Song for the current chapter/page (if it’s a long fic)

Sink With You by Underoath (video) )(lyrics)

It just hits really hard for everyone in this chapter. Sink With You is fundamentally about losing hope and still being defiant and angry about it. Orion and Megatron are both at this point by this chapter, already.

Any other songs you’d like to mention and why

The Product of Hate by Ice Nine Kills (video) (lyrics)

It’s just so good for, well. The entire story, really. Anything dealing with the revolution against Functionist Cybertron and functionism as a whole has to deal with the violence inherent in the system, the mistreatment of the lower classes…and the inability of the middle and upper classes to recognize it until it’s thrown in their faces and plastered on the walls and even then the better-off mechs all tended to join the Autobots. The Product of Hate is about real-world racism.

The Power in Belief by Ice Nine Kills (video) (lyrics)

It feels like the whole Decepticon movement is kind of encapsulated in the concept of “we can do this if we fight hard and we believe in the cause.” And, of course, Decepticonism is like three quarters of the story, so if there wasn’t something to say about Decepticonism there would be something wrong, lmao.

Destruction of Myself by From Ashes to New (video) (lyrics)

Megatron internalizes a whole bunch of really bad shit between chapters five and seven. Blame Proteus.

[flipperlips]

July 1st, 6:46 AM

Another day gone by, another night spent counting down the clock to return home to seemingly nothing.

I sit here this morning, pipe in hand, yet again narrating the internal warzone that is my consciousness.

I suppose it is a common idea that one can only endure so much of a routine, and that exact ideology seems to be what I embody in my entirety.  Yet, despite my fruitless efforts to maintain a constant state of uncertainty, or maybe vulnerability is the word, in life, I seem to inevitably hit a brick wall just as I think I’ve started upon a new journey.

Maybe it’s common to feel this way at 19 years old, it is quite possible that I am one of many, or maybe even just one person in a niche full of anxious, emotionally-overwhelmed young adults grasping to construct a pathway to every possible outcome in every possible situation.

For me, however, the battle seems to have no resolve.   For me, it would seem that the battle quite possibly all of us face, is met only with more turmoil, slowly enveloping itself in a smog of painstakingly-thought-out failures.

When I say failure, I don’t mean the “I really thought I nailed that interview” type of failure. The failure I’m referring to leaves a much, much harsher burn upon the already open wound in the flesh of the grand beast we know as passion, that is pulsating with every second closer to a new, wasted day.

~

“Who am I?” “What am I supposed to do?” “Am I making the right choice here?” Three questions that have haunted me for the past 3 years of my life.   I have tried to approach these questions in the most unbiased way possible, but even I am unable to dictate total control over my mind.

It’s as though I feel inside of me, deeply rooted in my soul, inside the atoms that create who I am as a physical human being, that I am not going to be able to live my life in unity with the ways of living that the society around me has enforced.

I know it sounds edgy; similar to the angsty, pissed-off poetry thought up by your local scene girl… But no other sentence could more accurately reflect how I feel in this world.

Even as a child, I had occasionally recognized the more abstract concept that I wasn’t exactly fond of the way life just…was. But it wasn’t until the ripe age of 17 that I was becoming coerced into dealing with the fact that at some point, I’d no longer be able to function healthily within society unless I were to undergo some sort of “grand revelation.”

When I wake up for the day, I ponder the limitless list of possibilities that I could encounter.   I think about the possible conversations I may have, or any run-ins I may have with a familiar face or two.   I consider the weather, how I’d feel if it were to rain, and usually how busy work might be since it could rain all day. Wait, it’s only 2 o’clock in the afternoon, why am I already thinking about how many people might come into work after I go in at 10 pm?

Forget it, shake off the thought, it’s time to shower and get some grub, then maybe to Sarah’s. Nah, no Sarah’s today, I’ll see her tomorrow. Time to kick back at home.

~

5 PM Mom and dad are home, stay in my room.

6 PM

It’s cool I still have 4 and a half hours before I get ready for work.

7 PM

Fuck, an hour already went by. I literally did nothing that entire hour, god dammit. Why is everything so fucking boring?

8 PM

Now I have an hour and a half left, great. Time for fucking work! Whatever, one more video.

9 PM

*Angry silence activates*

10 PM

“Oh hey, how’s it goin’? “Eh, not too much, just been chilling out, you know, the usual!” “Haha yeah you too man, take it easy!”

~

Everyday is the same. Every single day I face the same “stop being negative, you’ve got this!” bullshit that I guess I consider self-help.

Fuck self-help.

I don’t know what the answer is; the prescription for purpose is continuously unavailable at my local Rite-Aid.

My quest to find purpose in an objectively purposeless existence amidst the clutter, the anxiety, the boredom, the rollercoaster of emotions that make me feel numb, is never-ending.

I pray for a chance, a new piece to the puzzle, even a sign that maybe, just maybe things will be alright.

But I’ve reached the end of this path, the end of this chapter full of missed opportunities that I thought I critically panned out in my head.

I don’t know what will come, but I can’t sit back and drift anymore.  

Someway, somehow, I will craft my raft to internal happiness.

Piece. By. Piece.

And maybe then I can share what I have to offer with the world.

[terselylove]

50 Ways To Be A Better Boyfriend

1. I may hang out with your friends like one of the guys or play video games like one of the guys, but I am not one of the guys. I am your girlfriend. Give me attention outside of hanging with your friends, do things with me other than what you like to do with your friends, and spend quality time with me away from your friends. Not as a special treat, not as a holiday surprise, but as a normal part of our relationship.

2. If she’s complaining, or venting, it’s not always because she wants advice or a solution. Sometimes all that’s needed is to vent. So, in those situations, just let her vent.

3. Do not forget to tell your girlfriend she’s beautiful. I feel like so many guys forget to do this. Specially after they’ve been with a girl for a while. Girls love to be reminded that you’re still attracted to them. It goes a long way and it’ll always make her happy.

4. Plan out unique dates! Don’t leave it all up to her. And offer back rubs without wanting anything in return.

5. Know where the clitoris is, and how your partner likes hers to be simulated. Remember that MOST women do not get off through vaginal penetration.

6. Explain how you feel. We want to know what you’re feeling.

7. A “how are you?” text and a “thinking about you!” text etc goes a long way!

8. Hugs and affection with no ulterior motive. Sometimes I like to be held with out feeling like he’s wanting to fuck me.

9. Learn to cook. Not just one very slow to prepare meal. Learn to cook decent meals that can be prepared “normally” during a weekday. Learn to cook without making the kitchen look like a war zone.

10. Do your share of household chores. Don’t ask or expect a medal for doing household chores once or twice. It is a routine. Just own the task and keep doing it. Remember that since you are doing something it is easy for you to remember you did it and that this makes you overestimate the amount of chores you are being responsible for.

11. You guys should be a team, not just you. This helps in arguments. Remind yourself you are a team and that you shouldn’t bring your own teammate down.

12. Pay attention to what she says and remember the little things.

13. GENUINE COMPLIMENTS theres been so many times I get especially dressed up thinking “my boyfriend is going to think I look nice!” and then I see him and he doesn’t compliment me! Even when I know I look good because other guys hit on me, it would be nice if my boyfriend could hit on me for once.

14. Just keep your girl up to date on things if you’re having a busy day. It keeps them less worried and making sure you are safe.

15. When I ask you what do you want me to cook for dinner, please don’t say “I don’t know!” Sometimes men can be as bad as women are portrayed when deciding what to eat!

16. Pay attention when she is talking. Active listening. Don’t be on your phone when out to dinner. Communication. Honesty. And yes pay attention to the little things. Do what you say your going to do. Share your interests. Be authentic.

17. Biggest thing for me is to just do what you say you’re going to do. Nothing more, nothing less.

18. Be honest about how you feel about literally everything instead of allowing small things to build up resentment in your heart and then break up over something small. Like just be honest if something she does like a quirk bothers you, communicate what you like and don’t like so she can have the chance to at least compromise or adjust. And then if she doesn’t care for your feelings you can break up. Way too often men don’t communicate and expect us to read their minds, then say they fell out of love over some petty crap.

19. Think for yourselves. Don’t relay on your partner to carry the mental load. Wash basket GETTING full? Do some washing then get it dry and then put it away. Your partner shouldn’t be directing you to do everyday chores. You should see it needs doing and do it. You shouldn’t have to ask if your partner needs help with the cleaning, you should be doing it together. It’s called being a team.

This works both ways obviously.

20. Don’t compliment them by saying things like ‘you look so much better in that dress that other girl ever would’ – compliment them without making them feel like they are being constantly compared (even if they do come out on top).

21. Remember that women like to orgasm too!

22. Learn their love language, I would say. What makes them feel most appreciated or most loved? Not every girl wants the same thing (as is evident in this thread) but it comes down to one of the big 5. Words of affirmation, physical touch, gift giving, acts of service/devotion, or quality time.

23. Don’t make her feel like your mom.

A lot of guys I know say something to the effect of, “If you just ask I’ll do the dishes/put laundry away, etc.”

Well we don’t want to be your mom and make you do these things. Rather when you notice something needs to be done, do it. Trust me, we will notice!

24. If she asks you to stop doing something or do something more, LISTEN. Even if you don’t agree, compromise on something you both can work with.

25. Honestly, get excitable. Nothing kills a conversation like when a man tries to look cool and not geek out when they want to. Seeing a dude get excited over their interests is adorable

26. Affirm your affection for them by saying nice things, or qualities you like about them. “You’re so….” “I love that you do that.” Anything that shows your reassurance that they are the best.

27. If you’re getting irritated with us, please calmly explain why. Or if we are trying to bring up what’s bothering us, please don’t get defensive and then flip the blame on us. Otherwise, it makes us feel like we’re just a nuisance to you. I get that communication is a learned skill that requires experience. In short- encouraging & practicing open, honest, and respectful communication on both sides.

28. Don’t lie or hide things from her. She knows, she always knows because she knows you so well she can tell when you are being shifty. Just be open and honest and vulnerable. She will love you the more for it.

29. When you’re in the store, don’t call and ask what to bring. Hopefully you have paid attention and know what she likes/what the household needs and just bring that. Or google a recipe and buy the ingredients. Maybe shoot a text and say “I think I’ve got it covered, but here’s your chance for requests, I’m in the store”. Be pro-active, don’t force her into supervisor mode constantly.

30. The #1 thing all successful healthy relationships need is mutual respect. Do some research on what it’s like to live in society as a woman and make sure you’re not contributing to how hard it can be.

31. Don’t mention exes.

32. Date someone you’re happy with and don’t have to make “better.” If you need something, communicate what you need. If someone is doing something that bothers you, let them know in a kind way and include a solution that could work for both of you. If you want something done by the other person, let them know your time frame up front. For example, can you please do the dishes before I get home from work today, I want to have an empty sink when I cook dinner tonight. Not just do the dishes.

33. Don’t laugh when I’m frustrated no matter how “cute” it is.

34. Cut your goddamn nails my dudes you don’t need mountain peaks at the tips of your fingers.

35. I’m a big believer in equity theory. Do as much for her as she does for you! If you don’t she’ll end up feeling unappreciated, unassured, and questioning why she’s with someone who doesn’t put in the same as she does. Even recognition, a thank you, and some flowers goes a long way. But it’s still important to show how much you care about her in your actions.

36. My husband sends me little gifs online when he sees one that he thinks I’d like. It always makes me smile because he was thinking about me enough to find something I’d smile at and send it.

37. We don’t always need you fixing solutions, sometimes we want to be heard and vent.

38. Don’t put women in a box. Men tend to compartmentalize things and have figurative boxes in their heads in which they keep all the things in their life. That’s great, but not for relationships. You can’t take your significant other out of that box and play with them only when you want to. You always need to be there for your gf and sometimes that means making time when you weren’t expecting her to need you.

39. Don’t tell her what to do, she is her own person. Don’t try to control her. Be supportive of her dreams and aspirations (even if you don’t necessarily agree with them).

40. This could go either way, but reciprocate everything. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your S.O doing.

41. Randomly say “I love you”. No context, no nothing, just say it.

42. Take her seriously when she talks about her health. And if she needs to go to a hospital and allows you to come along, be prepared to advocate for her.

43. My grandpa thanked my grandma for the delicious meal after every. Single. Meal. that she cooked for him.

Don’t get so used to your partner that you stop noticing and showing gratitude for the lovely things they do for you.

44. If a woman is in a bad mood – NEVER – I repeat – NEEEEEEVER ask if she’s got her period!

45. Stop caring about your looks and just try to be more hygienic. For real you people care too much about how you look and you smell awful.

46. Don’t fucking cheat.

47. Affirmations and validation work well.

48. Communicate instead of yelling. I have made a pact with myself to never be with a person ever again who doesn’t make an effort to communicate with me. It’s paid off immensely and I’m super happy with a wonderful man now who I never argue with, when all my previous relationships were torrentially toxic and abusive. I’m not saying not arguing ever is normal, but it definitely isn’t normal when people yell and cuss as a communicative norm.

49. Just take a moment to reflect on what conversations you’re having and what you’re bringing to them. I know there’s this idea that your partner is the person you can vent to but is that all you’re doing? Try to be mindful that your partner also has difficult times; are you as available to listen to them as they are for you? Do all (or even most) of your conversations turn into a back and forth of complaints about work/traffic/etc.? Are those complaints really worth the time you’re dedicating to them?

I recently suggested to my boyfriend that, hey, let’s make the bed a no-complaining zone. I brought it up because every single night I would find myself just laying in the dark rolling my eyes as he went on and on about the same issues with the same coworkers every single night. Even nights when he didn’t work would end up this way.

Now we have a rule of “if this is really something that you want to talk about right this moment, we’ll go sit on the sofa and talk.” It gives you a moment to just consider if it’s really that big of an issue or not. What he’s found is that usually it’s not worth it, and I’ve seen a positive change in him. He seems happier now that he’s not dwelling on small stuff.

50. Surprise her sometimes by remembering something you shared and calling back to it.

[freuleinanna]

Supposedly, tagged by @inconspicuouslyabsent. Supposedly, cause you I cannot find your post but at a time you mentioned it's like free tags for whoever wanna do it, so I'm just feeling like it tonight, and I'm finally home with a good internet connection, so bambolleeeeiiooo

RULES: YOU MUST ANSWER THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

LAST

1. Drink: I think, it's was black tea. Like, I either drank water or coffee, lots and lots of coffee, over the past week, but the last thing was black tea. Several cups. Missed it, I guess.

2. Phone call: My dad

3. Text message: ummm message was to my sister, viber text was to my best friend.

4. Song you listened to: hoo boy. I've literally drowned myself in the Notre Dame de Paris (should there be an accent circonflexe there? Can’t remember for the life of me), so the last thing I think was Daniel Lavoie’s live performance of Être prêtre et aimer une femme, this man is just goddammit!!!!! Also, I recently listened to the latest Lara Fabian's single on repeat, and I can't remember what was the last one.

5. Time you cried: Hmmmmm. I'm a crier most of the times but can't remember the last time I cried. You see, I have a memory of a golden fish. 3 seconds, that’s it.

6. Dated someone twice: No.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No. I haven't romantically kissed more than one person, fyi :D

8. Been cheated on: According to the Person I love, yes. According to me, it depends. You could say that, tho. Vague, much?

9. Lost someone special: Lost to death? No.

10. Been depressed: Not clinically, but sure, there've been hard times.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No. I don't drink. Tried it, thought I shouldn't do it if I don't like it. I hate the stereotype about Russians always drinking heavily, but there IS such a thing of socializing through alcohol on many occasions. It unsettles me, mostly.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

Dark blue, white and black.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: No. I also don't like to use that word carelessly. I have like the Friend. It's enough.

16. Fallen out of love: No.

17. Laughed until you cried: Oh, yeah

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yes

19. Met someone who changed you: I think so, yes

20. Found out who your friends are: Always knew

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Um, there are like my sister and her husband on my Facebook friends' list, sooo

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Both of them

23. Do you have any pets: No, I'm allergic. Literally cant breathe when spend a long time around cats. Dogs are better, I think.

24. Do you want to change your name: Not a chance in the world

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Um, went out with the Friend. As per usual, mocked high school gals and guys for being so full of themselves :D My B-day is September 1st (sorry for advertising, kinda), so first day of everyone's school, the town is pretty crowded

26. What time did you wake up: Around 8.30am?

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Losing my shit next to my best friend, watching Notre Dame cast live videos. I mean, they're awesome, they're funny as hell, OMMGGG :) :) :) :) :) :) :) 

28. Name something you can’t wait for: February 24th, gonna go to the Lara Fabian's concert to Moscow. Losing my head compLETELY just thinking about it

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: This afternoon 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Be more brave to do some things that require serious changing of my life style?

31. What are you listening right now: Nothing, sitting in silence. I like the feeling just as much as music.

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Never had a chance.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: When people fucking leave their dishes undone and just leave goddamn them and OHHHHHHHHHHHHH this type of people who comment on their every step and mumbling sth under their breaths non-stop

34. Most visited Website: YouTube, I guess. + VK.com

35. Elementary: I was seriously obssessed with being the best in class. And seriously insecure. Also, had a light epilepsy, that was fun. Don't know how I even got a friend, but I know her from 1st grade and I mean it's fate, dudes

36. High School: I think I was laid back, but I was kinda either good at or cheated at everything, so. Graduated with honours.

37. College: We don't have colleages here, but I've done my Bachelor's in Linguistics and Translation and I'd loved EVERY bit of it. I mean, I whined like a bitch a lot, but I was glad to do something I loved doing. Currently dropping out of Master's program. Burnt out + stubborn + unorganized this time around = sucker.

38. Hair color: Blond.

39. Long or short hair: Cut them short(-ish) in spring, so they've grown a bit now.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Oh, lots of people. I know who I love, but celebrity crushes, you guyyyyyyzzzz. Mostly women 45+

41. What do you like about yourself: I think I'm open and rather understanding. I don't judge anyone usually, cause pfffft. I'm also emotionally lazy in a way that I'm lazy to feel offended by sth or hold grudges or whatevah, just don't really wanna spend myself on that. Is it even a good thing? Works out for me

42. Piercings: None

43. Bloodtype: Hell if I know what the Russian type corresponds with in English

44. Nickname: None, I guess.

45. Relationship status: In a long-distance relationship. 8 years. With a girl.

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Of all times? The X-Files. Just...okay?

49. Tattoos: No tattoos. Planning to get one.

50. Right or left: Right-handed.

51. Surgery: Never had one

52. Piercing: None appeared since question 42

53. Sport: Some day I'll learn how to ride a bike, but not today. Not into anything professionally.

55. Vacation: Prefer quiet time. Coffee, a book, some tv series. Without many people around.

56. Pair of trainers: Reebok? I think they’re making easytones? Idk, I've had them since high school. 

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Depends. When alone, I exist perfectly on apples and coffee, reaaaaally don't like cooking for me myself and I.

58. Drinking: Coffee mostly. Have been tracking a habit of drinking at least 1 cup of water a day for the past month, too.

59. I’m about to: Sleep. It's 3am my time.

61. Waiting for: Some kicks to brush up my French and learn Italian.

62. Want: Write more. I love writing, but am capricious about it.

63. Get married: When it's legalized for me, sure.

64. Career: Writer? Translator? Currently sales manager in an IT company.

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: I admit, I love tall people, but some of my most favourite ones are rather short, so doesn't really matter

68. Older or younger: Older, definitely older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms

71. Sensitive or loud: Oooh, sensitive. I can't coexist with loud people.

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant most of the time

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: No, why would I?

75. Drank hard liquor: Yes. Though it was cool. Didn't like the smell and the taste.

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Don't wear either

77. Turned someone down: Yes

78. Sex in the first date: YES :D I mean, a first date after 4 years of relationships, it's okay, right?

79. Broken someone’s heart: Don't think so

80. Had your heart broken: There've been times

81. Been arrested: Nope

82. Cried when someone died: Yes

83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: Yes. I know I can do a lot. That’s rather experience. I’m responsible. It bites me in the ass every single day. 

85. Miracles: Not really

86. Love at first sight: No. But I'm a mess when it comes to slowly falling in love. Yep.

87. Santa Claus: I don't particularly remeber believing when I was a kid, but I assume I did.

88. Kiss in the first date: *cough* yep *cough*

89. Angels: No. One good woman once said she does believe in angels, in a way that this is just some light we might bring to people. I'm of the same opinion.

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Мария (Maria)

91. Eyecolor: Greenish

92. Favorite movie: how fucking dare you, there should be a separate questionnaire for that! :D I love some old goodies mostly. Green Mile, maybe? Really, can't answer that, too many options.

Okay, I’ve no idea who’s done or hasn’t done it yet, but I’d love to know more about @harlequinade-13, @marioncranes and @snarlett, though you guys, my greatest fear in the Internet is to make sth people don’t wanna do. Decide for yourself, deal? Maybe you’re not in the mood, idk :)