#i fuckin hate the cheater type

[white-tale-tea]

It's been a long time since I'm juggling watching several kdramas and i just noticed how the dramas i'm currently watching, each has 2pm member as the main cast 😄

[notprofessionalwriting]

. 1:47am . -  Part Two

DAMAGED GOODS 

Corpse Husband X FemReader

Summary: After accidentally calling Corpse, Y/N and him are trying to not be awkward in a park, so they play 20 questions. Corpse won’t let Y/N forget she ignored his 8ball request (she 100% did) 

Warnings: slight angst if you squint, cursing, mentions of car accidents and guns being pulled

A/N: i literally cant believe anyone read part one, thank you sm for the nice words and stuff :) 

Part 2 of ???? 

PART ONE

3:46am

You were sitting on a park bench with your skateboard next to you. The world around you was quiet, other than the occasional car speeding down the busy road next to the park. You pulled out your phone and checked your notifications, nothing. The last text you got was 10 minutes ago from Corpse saying he was on his way. 

“What the fuck am I doing?” you questioned yourself as you looked down at your board. It’s from junior year of high school. It was a beaten up Black Label skateboard, one that your crush from high school picked out for you. The only time you ever actually used it was when the two of you rode your boards together downtown after school. That was until he then began dating your other friend - then you never touched it again. 

Your gaze never parted from the board until your phone buzzed as your phone screen lit up. A text from Corpse appearing across your screen. 

3:48am

Corpse: here. 

You lifted your head and looked around in the darkness. The park around you is completely empty, the swings standing lifeless as the grim night air creeps around you. A slight chill makes it’s way up your spine and you began thinking to yourself, ‘am I going to be fucking murdered?’ The fear began to sneak upon you, your skin now crawling. Eventually, you heard the sound of a skateboard rolling towards you. Slowly, you’re able to make out the figure on the board as it begins to approach you. 

Tall, slender build, curly hair hid under a beanie, dressed in all black with a pullover hoodie. They effortlessly rode the board until their foot touched the ground, the board now stopped before you. They had a mask on, hiding most of their facial features aside their eyes and up. You were in shock, this is the first time you’ve seen him in person. In fact, you weren’t even sure if Sykkuno ever actually met up with him, despite living in the same city. Your nerves began to creep up more as you studied what features of him were available to view. So far, you declared he has the prettiest set of brown eyes you’ve ever seen. 

“Hey, y/n.” he spoke quietly, his deep voice erupting into the eerie night air. He stepped off his board and sat next to you onto the bench. 

“Hey, Corpse” you responded while giving him a small smile, looking down at your hands and twiddling with them. You were nervous being in his presence. Something about how mysterious he’s always been caused you to feel intimidated. Though, in person, you saw how anxious and awkward he actually was. He wasn’t looking you in the eyes, his hands were stuffed in his pocket and wait- was he shaking? This all made you wonder, why were you so nervous? 

He let out a breathy laugh and turned to face you, studying your features. You felt blush begin to rise to your cheeks. His high pitch laughter was one you had originally only heard through your headphones in-game, hearing it in person was a whole different experience. 

“You nervous?” he questioned you

“Uhh,” you locked eyes to him, you could tell he was smirking underneath his face mask with the way his eyes moved, “yeah actually, really fucking nervous honestly.” 

“Me too,” he chuckled and leaned forward, not making eye contact with you anymore. He rested his arms on his knees, “really fucking nervous.” 

“Why?” you let your eyes rest on his figure, studying his movements as he adjusted his beanie and anxious pulled his sleeves down to cover his hands. 

“It’s the first time I’ve been out of my apartment in fuckin’ days,” he slumped into the bench now while looking off into the nighttime, “Plus I haven’t seen more than half of my friends in person. Uhh, actually all of my friends.” 

“Well, ain’t I special?” you said, confusion festering inside of you. You felt yourself so intrigued by every movement and word that let his mouth. You wanted to watch him and listen to him talk for hours. What the fuck is happening? 

He looked over at you, yet another smirk hiding underneath his mask, “I wanted to ask you in person…”, he adjusted his seating to now face you again, “Why the fuck did you ignore my 8-Ball request?”

You stared deadpan, another laugh escaping you, “No fucking way. I totally fucking responded to that.” 

“No you didn’t,” he quickly responded, “you definitely didn’t.” 

“You brought me in the middle of a park at basically 4am to argue about 8-Ball?” You questioned him, watching his features soften more. A smile grew upon his face, brightening what you could see of his face. 

“Yes, yes I did actually.” You didn’t respond, instead you squinted your eyes and stared at him. “I-uh- I wanted to also, you know, actually talk to you?” He mumbled, “We never actually talk. Plus, you called ME at wee fucking hours in the mornin. Don’t you spin this around on me.” 

“It was an accident!!” You retorted, laughter escaping your lips so easily it felt natural to be sitting and laughing on a bench with him, “I didn’t mean to be weird and randomly call you!” 

He moved slightly close to you, slowly closing some of the space between the two of you, “Well, I was the weird one and asked you to hang out at 3am, so we’re even I guess.” 

You could smell his cologne and aftershave, and fuck it smelled amazing. He continued to mess with the sleeves of his hoodie, pulling them over his hands and tucking them anxiously in his pockets. 

“Okay, okay, my turn. What made you ask me to ‘chill’ in this park?” 

You studied him, awaiting his response. “Same reason you ‘accidentally’ called me,” he said, putting air quotation marks over the word accidentally. 

“Oh?” you jokingly questioned him, “and what’s that?” 

You wondered what he looked like under the mask. You wondered how his hair looks under his beanie. You wondered if he smelled even better under the layers of his hoodie and what appeared to be another sweatshirt underneath. Your mind began to wonder how his voice sounded like when he first woke up, or what he sounded like when he was half asleep. More thoughts began to dance throughout your head as you stared at him, looking at his eyes which showed he was smiling under his mask. 

“I wanted to get to know you better. Ya’know, actually talk and stuff.” He responded, breaking the shared eye contact and looking around you.

“And stuff?” you giggled, watching his nervous reaction. His hands were stuffed in his jacket pocket again.

“I don’t fucking know, what do normal socially inclined people do?” 

------------

4:11am

“Okay, how about this,” you spoke into the uncomfortable silence that fell between the two of you after you ran out of small talk. You two were staring at each other, motionless. “20 questions?” 

“20 questions?” he questioned you, narrowing his eyebrows in confusion

“Yeah, why not?” you laughed nervously, something about him made your nerves on high alert, “you start!” 

You positioned yourself to face him on the bench, crossing your legs in front of you and resting your arms on your legs. You gauged his reaction, the look of confusion flooding his face.  

“Uhhhhhh,” he turned to face you, mimicking the way you were sitting -  crossing his legs in front of him on the bench, “uhh- i don’t fucking know, favorite color?” 

“Blue!” you exclaimed, “I’ve always loved darker shades of blue, like turquoise or- well it’s not blue-blue but aquamarine too.” 

“Aquamarine? That’s a fancy color, heh. Guess mine.” 

“Black?” you giggled, looking his outfit up and down, it was about fifty shades of black. 

He laughed his signature high pitched laughter, adjusting his sleeves to again cover his hands, “Correct. How did you guess?”  

“Oh just a hunch, that’s all. It’s your turn.” 

“Uhhh,” he pulled out his phone and began typing rapidly. You stared at his hands, luminated from his phone screen. His chipped black nail polish was uneven on his nails, his rings shining bright against the light. His hands were veiny, you found yourself unable to look away, “I’m ass at these things, so lemme google something.” He began clicking rapidly, “…. Okay okay I’m ready. Got some questions and all” He held his phone up to hide the questions as he stared at them. 

“That’s cheating!” you giggled, reaching for his phone, “you’re a fucking cheater!”

“No, no, no, there are no rules. You did not say any rules. No rules! Ahem- okay.” he cleared his throat, scrolling through the question list, “holy fuck these questions. Ok- okay this one is good. So, ahem,” he put on a fake announcer voice, causing you to giggle even more, “Have you ever been in a car accident — and it was your fault?”

“Well damn,” you laughed, “where the fuck did you find these questions?”

“Hey man, I didn’t write the question. Anyway, you gotta answer it. Spill the beans, hunny” 

“Oh geez, well yes, I have been in a car accident, no I didn’t cause it.” You watched as his face softened, a look of sorrow clouding his dark eyes, “It was when I was in high school. A friend of mine- an old friend- was driving and another car blew a red light. It was a minor accident. No one was hurt or anything, but it fucked with my anxiety for a while. I still hate driving now. So I prefer public transportation.”

“Oh fuck- I’m glad you’re okay- jesus fuck. I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, I was paranoid about any cars. I refused to get in them for about a year, but I’m able to drive now, no worries. Anyway- your turn.” 

“I for one, have never been in a car accident, thankfully. However, I have had a gun pulled on me inside of my car, if that counts.”

“You WHAT?” you interrupted him, leaning closer to him, “ex-fucking-cuse me?” His nonchalant way about talking about that baffled you. 

He giggled, how was he giggling over this? “Yeah it was fucking wild man, straight fucking wild. I lived though.” 

“Okay, my turn. Why the fuck did you have a gun pulled on you?”

“You’re not letting that go, huh?”

“NO.” You shot back at him, “that’s fucking nuts.”

“It happened so fast, I can barely recall most of it. Guy tried to rob me, but I’m too fucking broke and didn’t have anything. Threatened to blow my head off, then fucking left. I still don’t know why the fuck he picked me. Do I even appear to look like I have any sort of value? But I lived, so there’s that.”

“Oh my fucking god.” That’s all you could manage to say, the thought of anything bad happening to him now begins to worry you. You have the strong urge to protect him from all evil, at any costs. 

“Yeah- straight fucking nuts. Anyway, my turn.” He began to scroll through the questions pulled up on his phone, letting out hmms and huuhs? until he finds a question that he deems worth asking, “What embarrasses you the most and/or what’s been your most embarrassing moment?”

“Hmmmm,” you took a moment to ponder the question, there’s a lot of things you’ve done that really embarrass yourself, “Okay so I was on a date with this guy I was really into in college, like I loved this guy before we even went out.”

“Was he cute?” Corpse asked, resting his elbows on his legs and his head on his hands, a pensive stare in his eyes as he peered at you.

“Uhhhh, really fucking cute actually….,” you were lost in his eyes, you couldn’t make out the rest of his face, but you’ve declared him as one of the most attractive people you’ve seen, “... uh anyway, so we were out on a date-”

“I can’t relate.” he interrupted, laughing again. 

“Huh?” you, again, we snapped out of your story. 

“Being on asked dates, can’t relate. I have never been asked on a date.” 

“I don’t believe that. Anyway-”

“O really? I legit have never been asked out on a date,” he let out a breathy laugh, “I’ll let you finish though.” 

“Well this isn’t a good date, anyway we were at the movies on a date and it happens to be the same exact movie theater his ex was at. Same movie, same time, same everything.” 

“Oh no…” Corpse knew exactly where this was headed. 

“Yuuupp, it was a ploy to run into his ex-girlfriend. They ended up getting back together right after that happened. Exact reason I hate the entire Purge series now.” 

“Evil. Straight fucken evil. I’m sorry.” he leaned his hand over to lay it on your leg, “that’s actually fucked.” 

He was touching you. His hand was on your leg, right above your knee. You felt the sensation of touch shoot up from your leg to your stomach. Your heart began pounding a thousand beats a second. Why were you acting this way? Why was your heart racing at an innocent touch to express sorrow? You tried your best to ignore it.  

You shrugged, although it still has taken a major shot to your self esteem, “I mean, it still stings but they have two kids now so, good for them I guess.” 

“At least you’re not spending the money on diapers now,” he laughed, moving his hand away and giving you finger guns, “that shit is outrageous.”  That was the cutest shit you’ve ever seen.

“Okaay, my turn. So have you really never been asked on a date?” You watched his reaction, he quickly rubbed the back of his head again, letting out an anxious laugh. 

“I mean, I’ve been on dates with my ex before and like, two other people, but I was the one to always ask ya’know. I never had anyone take interest in me first. I’m always the initiator. It’s not really that deep though. I actually like not being bothered with relationship shit honestly. Anyway, my turn.” 

Why did that upset you? You felt a ping in your heart. A ping of sadness. What’s wrong with you?

He scrolled through the questions a bit, searching for a good one to ask. 

“Okay, this one isn’t as cringe, what's the luckiest thing that's ever happened to you?”

You thought for a moment, looking at him staring back at you. A smile forming underneath his mask despite the lack of sleep hitting you both. The early morning sky began to form around you two on the park bench, you couldn’t deny it, he was attractive. You couldn’t see his face fully, but his visible features were inviting. You wanted to see what he was hiding on the mask. He had warm eyes, curly mess hair, you imagined he was more attractive than you imagined under the mask. “Well, I’m sitting on a fucking park bench at like 5am with Corpse Husband. Completely unplanned, no sleep at all. Answering questions about our lives in the darkness. Totally random, almost face reveal and all.”

Wait what the fuck - were you just flirting with him? Why are you flirting with him? You couldn’t tell, but he seemed to blush. 

“Oh shut the fuck up,” he laughed leaning over and playfully nudging your arm, “this is after you randomly called me, don’t forget that.”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!” 

“I knew you never actually wanted to talk to me.” 

“Ohmyfuckinggod.” you reached over and snatched the phone from his hand. In the process, you accidentally touched his hands, you felt another surge of butterflies rush through you again. You tried to brush them away and scrolled through the questions, “do you believe in soulmates?” 

Of all questions, you asked that one. You wanted to smack yourself. What were you doing? 

He raised his eyebrows, bringing his hands to his chin, rubbing the front part of his mask. You wondered what he looked like without the mask on again. Thoughts of his skin racing through your mind, “Huh. I don’t honestly. I don’t think anyone is truly meant for anyone. Love is fucking hard, yaknow? Sure you can be attracted and interested in someone. But to actually have a meaningful, fulfilling relationship, it doesn't just happen. You need to actually want it. Want to actually work and build with them. No one is someone’s actual soul mate. Don’t even get me started if someone dies.” 

“Period sis,” you laughed, “I’d like to believe there’s someone for everyone though.” You were a hopeless romantic, it’s showing. 

“My person is the one that probably was murdered or something,” he laughed, looking down at his pant legs, “I kinda gave up on relationships and shit anyway. I’m not really the ideal partner.”

“Why?” you didn’t mean to ask that immediately after he spoke, it slipped out

“It’s my turn, mam.” He laughed, taking his phone back, “ooooh here’s a goodie, when you can’t sleep at night, what keeps you awake?” 

“Everything,” you blurted out, laughing, “fucking everything.” 

“Mood.” 

You paused for a moment, letting go on any filter you’ve had set, tiredness is setting in and you have no control over your words, “I always feel like I’m never really good enough, yaknow? Like I don’t really belong anywhere. I feel like I’m an outsider everywhere. I guess, I guess that’s what keeps me awake at night. Damn that got really fucking emo.” 

He nodded, the two of you not speaking for a good minute. He finally broke the silence, “Yeah, yeah. I actually fully understand that feeling.” 

“My turn,” you didn’t look at the phone this time, “so why did you give up on relationships? Or finding in love, or whatever.” 

Why did you care so much? Why are you asking him this? 

He took a deep breath, letting up a breathy chuckle, “Ah fuck, I-I don’t think I’ve ever talked about this before - like out loud.” He paused for a brief second, you were moments away from telling him it was fine without answering, but he continued on, “I- I don’t really see myself as a good partner honestly. Like, I don’t go outside much. I don’t show myself anywhere - that’s actually unfair to my partners. I can’t see myself being able to fully invest myself into a relationship either, I have so much other shit going on. My life it’s self is a fucking mess, I’m a fucking mess. I don’t deserve that sense of happiness either.” 

“Why’s that?” You questioned him, staring into his eyes. Those big brown eyes shined back.

“I just don’t. I can’t go outside without fucken panicking, without worrying someone will find me. That’s why my ex left me. I couldn’t do anything with her, no, for her. She wanted to go out and do all of these lavish things, but me? I couldn’t. Literally would fucken panic at the thought. Hyperventilate, shake. What the fuck is wrong with me? I wouldn’t want any parts of that either. She got tired of waiting for me to fix myself and left. I can’t blame her, she had every right to. I can’t see myself committing to anything. I’m so accustomed to everyone leaving. I-I can’t put myself through that heartbreak. I don’t want to put myself through heartbreak again. I- I don’t know. I’m scared to get attached. I-” 

You were staring at him, lost in his eyes. Lost in the emotion of his voice as he spoke. Raw, unfiltered, passionate, and real. Every croke as he spoke, every pause, stutter. Your heart was about to break. Who hurt him so badly that they caused him to feel broken? To feel betrayed? To feel so unloveable. You wanted to speak, but you were lost in him confessing his heart to you randomly on a park bench in the center of the city.

“Corpse,” you breathed out, watching the tears begin to well up in his eyes. Wait, he’s about to fucking cry. Holy shit. How do you calm a crying person? Do you even have tissues on you? You’re not prepared for this. 

He turned his head away and cleared his throat, trying to hide his watering eyes, “Fuck I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-uhhhhhh- fuck- uhhh, ignore me.”

“Corpse,” you again said, reaching over to grab his hand. You made contact with the top of his hand, feeling the top of his rings grace underneath your palm. His skin is soft and warm. How the fuck is his skin so soft? You wrapped your hand around his and you lost control, you squeezed his hand to let him know you were there. You were listening, processing his emotion. You were letting him know you cared. 

“Thank you, y/n.” he looked back over at you, flipping his hand around so your palms are now touching. He intertwined your fingers together. His eyes are watering still, now vulnerable and more alive.

You were holding hands. Your heart began racing, you imagined it would jump out of your chest. He scooted himself directly next to you, your legs touching now. He rested his head on your shoulder, keeping your hands intertwined. His hair smelled like… was that cherry blossoms? His head was heavy on your shoulders, but it never felt so perfectly placed. He let out a deep sigh and you felt the breath on your shoulders. You began to panic inside, but it wasn’t a bad panic. It was a nervous panic. 

“Of course,” you whisper, laying your head on top of his, “damaged goods gotta stick together.”

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

Silly Little Symphony - Bakugou Katsuki

Track 1: Paralyzer- Finger Eleven

—/—

Bakugou is not a fan of half-assing things.

He hates it, despises it actually. Bakugou feels like anything worth doing deserves 100% effort, and if you give it any less than that you might as well not even attempt it in the first place. That’s his motto and that’s what he sticks with and that’s what he’s doing right now, too. Obviously.

Except- why does it feel like he has to convince himself?

It’s like there’s this lingering feeling in his mind that he’s taking the easy way out. That he’s taking the cheater’s way out, but it’s- there’s just no other choice, alright?

Bakugou knows he’s a brave guy, knows that he could shred anything he set his sights on, but by that very same logic, he’s knows even more that he’s not a very soft guy. His feelings for you are his feelings, and yes he might acknowledge them, but that doesn’t mean he could ever communicate them delicately. Even when he runs fantasy scenarios in his head, the words still come out all wrong. They’re too loud and too brash and too forceful and you always end up offended.

Bakugou doesn’t want you to end up offended- at leasy more than you already have. So, he quickly decided on a different method of communication.

A playlist.

A playlist full of songs that convey what he’s been wanting to, but also sound angry and scary and tough- because he’s a tough guy who listens to nothing but rock and punk and metal, and has definitely has not searched up songs with your name in the title before, and has definitely not then added those songs to his library. Because that’s ridiculous and soft, and like determined before, Bakugou Katsuki is not soft.

What he actually is, is a guy with a playlist full of specially-curated songs. And a guy with absolutely no idea how to give them to you.

The thing is, he’s read manga and watched movies and read all sorts of articles about these types of confessions (not that he’d ever admit that), but none of those felt like him. He was not a smooth talker or a brazen flirt or even just a kind guy- no, Bakugou was mean and loud, and he knew full well that he’d much sooner be cast as the antagonist than the romantic lead.

So all of that was a problem, and then you also currently didn’t even like him. You made it very clear, though every sneer and comment and biting comeback, that only feeling you held for him was begrudging respect- and even that was only on the battlefield. Once he stepped out of the hero uniform than you were back to hating him, and he only made it worse with every childish insult he threw your way. Bakugou knew it was a stupid way to get your attention, but it was also the most efficient one; and he was a man of efficiency.

So that left him here- pining the same way he had been for weeks, staring down into a playlist full of songs he couldn’t figure out how to play for you.

He sneaks a look at you, red eyes just barely skimming over top of the bus seats. You’re sitting a few rows ahead, sharing a snack with Tsuyu.

Bakugou thinks you’re stupid. He thinks you’re stupid for eating junk food right before a day of training, and he thinks you’re stupid for choosing to sit all the way in front like a nerd, and most of all he thinks you’re stupid for sharing your snack with that damn frog face when he’s right there. And obviously much better in every comparable, concievable way. Obviously.

Bakugou presses his headphones more securely into ears, and slouches down deep into his seat. All he can see now is the back of the seat, and he thinks that’s a better alternative. At least it won’t piss him off- not like the sight of you, sitting up front and laughing where he can’t hear, will.

With a grunt, he hits shuffle on his playlist, turning the volume to max. He closes his eyes dropping his head against the window. Drum fills and a guitar riff flood his ears, and he’s relaxing a bit, sinking into the sound, and all is well and good until-

Well just look at that girl with the lights coming up in her eyes. She's got to be somebody's baby.

God dammit.

Fuck Phantom Planet. Bakugou thinks. Fuck them.

Then he’s growling as he hits the skip button, throwing his phone onto the seat next to him.

—/—

As it turns out, all Bakugou needed was to beat the ever-loving shit out of something.

Cracking his palms and shaking his limbs, Bakugou launches at another robot. He thinks the machines feel weak under his explosions, almost offensively feeble in their construction. Like all of U.A’s staff went braindead that morning- like they couldn’t even bother to cook him up a worthy opponent.

When Bakugou looks around, that’s clearly not a shared statement. There’s the usual standouts of course, stupid deku and stupid icyhot and even stupid dunce face is doing well for once, but the rest of them are average. Mediocre. Completely and utterly inferior to him- and then you enter.

Your quirk, blink, is a bit useless in this scenario, but you’re not letting that stop you. There’s purpose in your movements, quick and controlled actions as you strap your home-made bombs around the base of each robot’s leg. Machines don’t blink, so you’re shit out of luck for your main speed ability, but your training makes up the difference. With practiced ease you’ve darted out from beneath the robot’s feet, and then you’re hitting the detonate on your remote.

Bakugou thinks you look unreasonably fucking cool as you sprint away from the blast. So cool in fact, that he might even consider your tech explosions as cool as his quirk ones. Maybe.

Bakugou wipes his palms, muffling a yawn. He’d blown up all his assigned robots ages ago, and now was left kicking rocks and generally doing nothing.

This training was supposed to act as a benchmark test- the idea was to drop a similar opponent into the ring, one that emulated the entrance exam, to test how far everyone had come since the beginning of the semester. It could’ve been good in theory, but Bakugou thought it was just a waste of time. Robot’s were easy for him then and they sure as hell were easy for him now.

Still though, he was the first one to kill all his robots, so not all was lost. Bakugou still walked away a winner and that meant he was feeling much better than earlier.

Smirking with shameless pride, Bakugou saunted to the exit area. More students began to file in after him, and he kept mostly quiet, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut when you walked past him.

“Fuckin’ fifth? With your overpowered-ass quirk?” He sneers, voice loud. “Waste of talent.”

Bakugou watches spin on your heels, watches your face melt into something deadly. You’re storming towards him, and he can’t even think past hoping you’d get a little closer.

“Robot’s don’t fucking blink, you jackass.” You’re red in the face and glaring, hands curling into fists at your sides. “You try getting. anything done without your quirk. Asshole.”

Then you’re stomping away, hardly giving him a second look as you cheer on your friends.

Bakugou can’t even begin to decipher what possessed him, to say those words, but he’s also not surprised. His words always come out wrong and he can’t say anything nice without wanting to scratch away his skin.

What he really wanted to say was that you were impressive even without your quirk. That you were admirably smart and tactical and well-prepared with your own bombs, and he thought that you looked really hot sprinting away from the wreckage- but that’s not what he said. Of course that’s not what he said.

Well, there goes his good mood. No amount of previous wins could ever distract him from how much of a loss that interaction was.

Eventually the rest of the class finishes, and then they’re all gathering breathless and tired back to the bus. Unfortunately, Kaminari fried himself completely and Mineta managed to break an ankle and that meant that they needed their own seats. That also meant that two people who had their own seats on the ride there, would now be sharing on the way back.

As shitty luck would have it, the class chose drawing straws as the deciding factor, and even worse than that, Bakugou got the shortest straw. The day was already shaping up to be pretty frustrating, but when you pulled the second-shortest straw it got even worse.

“We can always share instead, L/n!” Tsuyu’s says, hand on your shoulder and voice mediating. “Really. I don’t mind.”

Bakugou watched you sigh for a moment, and then you’re turning your head towards him. Your eyes meet his and Bakugou can’t help the smirk that rolls across his face- you’re looking at him and paying attention to him and even if it’s just you making a point he still likes that attention. He watches you squint your eyes at him in response, voice hard and steely as you speak to Tsuyu.

“No. It’s alright. We picked staws, and fair is fair.” Your squint morphs into a glare. “And besides, I’m not gonna let that smug bastard throw a fit into getting out of this.”

The statement should piss him off, and if anyone else said it it would’ve, but Bakugou finds it does the opposite. It just reaffirms how brave you are and how you’re not scared of him like everyone else is and how much he likes you for it- not that he’d ever tell you any of those things.

To save face, Bakugou instead pretends to be pissed about your words, his palms popping and crackling as he glares right back. He hopes it looks like a genuine threat and not a panic reaction, because really he just thinks you look so cool talking back to him directly like that and he definitely doesn’t know what to do with that. So instead he does what always works; what always makes him feel better when he gets a feeling too big to handle- he preps to blow shit up.

“Calm down, man. It’s just a seat.” Kirishima comes up behind him, pressing a water bottle into Bakugou’s crackling palms. “Here, take this and please don’t blow up the bus. Or L/n. That’d be so totally not heroic of you.”

“Shut the hell up.”

“No I’m serious, dude. Chill out, okay? L/n’s actually pretty nice once you get to know her.”

“I said, shut the hell up, Shitty Hair!” Bakugou barks, gritting his teeth.

Then he’s shoving his palms into his pockets, leaving Kirishima and the water behind, and stalking towards the bus before anyone else does. Bakugou figures that if he’s got to share a seat, then at least he’s going to be the one sat next to the window. He’ll make sure of it.

Still, there’s something sitting heavy in his stomach though- how does Kirishima know you’re nice?

The comment made his blood boil. Bakugou thinks it’s strange because usually he’s pretty tolerant of his friend, and even finds himself enjoying his company sometimes, but those words pissed Bakugou off. Pissed him off a lot.

”Wow, don’t look so goddamn thrilled.” You say sardonically, and Bakugou watches you drop into the seat next to him. “Might accidentally think you tolerate me, blasty.”

“Don’t fuckin’ call me that. Useless extra.”

Bakugou wants to smash his head into a wall- because why the fuck did he just say that?

Oh yeah, because apparently his jealousy was plastered all over his face, clear enough for you to comment on it. And even if you didn’t know that’s what the expression was, he’d still rather bite your head clean off than admit it was there in the first place.

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t want to fight.” You say, clenching your jaw as you settle back into the seat. “Look, it’ll be easier for both of us if we don’t talk, so I’ll just sit here and not bother you, alright?”

“Fine. Shut the hell up then.”

Once again, Bakugou wants to obliterate himself.

He doesn’t know why he can’t just tell you- why he can’t just say that he wants you to keep talking to him and that he wants you to keep snarking back at him. Why he can’t just say that he thinks your voice is one of the least grating ones in the whole class.

He thinks all of those things, but says none. Instead he keeps a fist clenched as his sides, scowling as he pulls out his headphones. He makes an intentional effort not to play your playlist and instead hits shuffle on all his music. He’d hoped that the loud drums and guitars would settle his emotions, but they didn’t. Nearly 10 minutes have passed and Bakugou’s as riled up as ever, but he’s also now completely convinced you’re trying to kill him.

You’re shifting in your seat, your arms extending out as you slip on your jacket. There’s little room, and every time you shuffle the sleeves to adjust them, you’re knocking your shoulders into his.

Then you stop.

You just stop and you go still and his skin isn’t tingling anymore and Bakugou is all kinds of pissed all over again. Because of you he’s nervous and flustered and you have the audacity to just sit there, unaffected. He has to snarl just to keep himself from blushing when he speaks.

“Why the fuck were you touching me?”

“It’s a small seat and I was putting on a jacket.” You reply, short and clipped. “I don’t know what you expect me to do about it.”

“Tch. Just don’t do it again. And shut up the fuck up already.”

“You- you talked to me first!”

“And? Who the fuck cares?” Bakugou grunts, turning the volume of his music up. “Now shut up.”

Jesus christ. Bakugou thinks to himself. Maybe I should just blow myself up for once.

Another few minutes pass, and Bakugou swears he’s really is dying. You’re still so close to him and he’s feeling very, very flustered, and while he doesn’t love the idea that you’re mad at him, he can’t say he hates the look on your face right now either. You’ve got your jaw clenched and your eyebrows set low and your hands are balled into fists as you steadfastly ignore him. Bakugou thinks you look scary- fucking terrifying.

He likes terrifying.

“Hey.” You suddenly nudge him with your shoulder, pointing to his earbuds. “I can hear it- your music. Turn it down.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

“Because that’s basic courtesy.”

“What the fuck makes you think I have that, hah?”

“Oh my god, you’re fucking impossible.” You rolls your eyes, heaving a frustrated sigh. “Listen, if you’re gonna keep it up that loud then at least skip that song. It’s shit.”

Bakugou glances down at his screen.

Fucking Nickleback.

Jesus, could his day get any worse?

“Shut the hell up.” He snaps, squinting his eyes. “What the fuck do you know about good music? You don’t know shit.”

“I know that song sucks, so skip it. If you’re gonna accost me with loud music at least make it good.” You bite back, and then Bakugou watches as your face melts into an easy smirk. “Unless... all your music is that terrible?”

“Sounds like you’re pickin’ a fuckin’ fight!”

“I am, you asshole!”

Bakugou doesn’t know when the two of you got so close, but now you’re only inches away. He’s got his palms up and you’ve got your lips pulled back into a snarl and suddenly the bus seat seems so much smaller. It’s so much smaller and all Bakugou can think about is the red in your cheeks and the fire in your eyes and how much he likes the sight of both.

“Just skip the song or turn it down.” You finally huff, falling back in your seat, and all Bakugou can think about is how that breathe would’ve been on his cheek if it was two seconds ago.

Bakugou is mad. He’s mad at you and your stupid witch powers that leave the air feeling cold and your stupid breaths that he can’t stop focusing on and your stupid comment. Your stupid comment that had his blood burning in his veins and irritation settling in his temple.

Bakugou listened to cool music, okay? Cool, loud music for cool, loud guys. You just insulted that, insulted him so this wasn’t just a means of confessing feelings anymore, it was a pride thing and that’s why he says what he said next. It’s definitely not because this was the golden chance he’d been waiting for.

“My music is fuckin’ good.” He growls, and then he’s yanking an earbud out and shoving it towards you. “I’ll fucking show you. Now shut up and listen.”

“So goddamn pushy, jesus.”

“You gonna fuckin’ take it or not?”

“Oh my god. Fine.”

Bakugou watches you fit the earbud into your ear, his mouth set into a determined line. He knew he’d fucked up every other part of this conversation, monumentally fucked them up even, but he wouldn’t mess this up. He was prepared and this was the chance he was waiting for. Only an absolute idiot could mess this up and Bakugou Katsuki was not an idiot.

So he plays the first song he’d added to your playlist. Paralyzer.

To his surprise, you start nodding your head almost immeadiately. You know this song. The drum fill starts and then you’re looking over at him, giving him the tiniest little smirk of approval.

“Not bad, blasty.”

“Fucking told ya.” He can’t help the pride that swells in him at your validation. It’s warm and heavy in his chest, nearly drawing a smile out of him- and then he remembers he’s supposed to be mad. “And I told you, don’t fucking call me that.”

“I’ll call you by your name when you call me by mine.”

“Wipe the smirk off your stupid fucking face,” Bakugou growls. “Or I’ll blast it off.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes! Fuckin’ try me, extra!”

“Okay.” You huff a laugh at him. “Don’t blink then. Champ.”

Then you’re raising your hand, shoving it in his face and snapping before he can stop you. Bakugou flinches out of reflex and by the time he’s opened his eyes, you’ve already used your super-speed ability.

You’re sitting back against the seat, calm and collected and smirking, with both of Bakugou’s earbuds in your ears. You’ve got his phone in your hand and he watches you twist the cord around your finger, cross your legs casually and he’s stunned. He’s pissed that you got the better of him, but he also just really thinks you’re hot when you’ve won. He watches in dazed silence as you turn up the volume on his phone to max.

Well I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you. I want to make you move because you're standing still.

Bakugou decides two things in that moment: One, he fucking hates Finger Eleven. And two, he wants to blow the entire fucking bus to smithereens.

—/—

eee i hope u all enjoy, but especially u @bakugouswh0r3 and @definitelynottrin :))

[dragonswithjetpacks]

I’ve been really wanting to write more about Astarion and Ferelith in the beginning lately.

Like she’s just so utterly disgusted by him at first. She finds him difficult to deal with and his flattery unnecessary. Ferelith is the type of person who like to be wooed, but only by a specific type of person. And while Astarion does meet some of the criteria, a deceitful vampire spawn isn’t exactly what she has in mind. She also hates egotistical men who pursue her despite her rejections. And she gets a little squeamish around undead. But he’s a very pretty undead so it helps.

Because that’s the thing, though, she’s very attracted to him physically. And eventually, he discovers making her laugh, which can be difficult, is a direct line to earning her trust. He charms her, as he does everyone. And though she tries to resist, eventually, she gives in. But she refuses to be another notch in the belt. She knows it’s not a one way street and she has certain skills with her charisma, herself. So she begins to play his game, learning what raises his brow and makes him grin. It’s a battle of wits and charm. That eventually turns into they don’t know if they’re toying with each other anymore... or if it’s getting too real.

Once past the insults and the obvious accusations of mistrust, their camaraderie turns into teasing banter and a certain confidence on the battlefield. Ferelith tolerates him and he slowly opens up, He develops genuine affections, but I mean, clearly has no idea how to deal with them. So he does what ever confused person does with emotions they don’t understand and... ignores it. The gestures of friendship he makes, showing an aptitude to kindness, are just ways to ensure Ferelith won’t eventually gut him. And the continuation of the romantic advancements are a way to hide how he really starts to feel.

And of course Ferelith starts to show a hint of emotional attachment, but buries them away. There’s a lot of tension and complexity to it all that she doesn’t want. And while he insists it’s easier than she’s making it, she basically doesn’t believe any sort of relationship with him is viable. Still, she can’t deny that the want for it is there. They’re basically playing a game called “First one to fall in love is a rotten egg.”

Which brings me to post game. Or post early access. I dunno. Well, I imagine they probably continue the sexual part of their relationship regardless. Unless he betrays everyone. In which case, Ferelith already warned him she’d kill him no matter how attached she got. She doesn’t deal with cheaters and liars very well. Her pride is way to massive to let it go. Me personally, I just want them to be happy. Ferelith has been alone for a very long time. And Astarion has never known what it’s like to be with someone romantically. It would be a nice ending if they found that trust with each other. Even if it is just for the game, their little rendezvous will at least be somewhat meaningful and they could know happiness with someone else for a short time. *holds onto that thought dearly*

Or, you know, Astarion is just a bastard and leaves her high and dry. And she basically hates him forever. Which is cool, too, because I am a sucker for tragedy. Looking at you Solas. Making me fuckin cry.

Long unnecessary post short: dislike - you might be ok - i guess we’re friends now - are we flirting for real this time? - oh... we’re flirting for real this time - i’m not falling for this - shit i’m falling for this - ok let’s just make out

Denial is key.

[aaronhart93]

text || aaromtin

Discord text thread featuring: Aaron & @romanbeckett & @quentindelancret​​

When: March 7, 2020 and March 8, 2020

Mentions: @jamisonhq @codyhq @jayceelynd​

Description: Quentin gets upset at what Jamison said in the group chat, they just fight a lot. the next day he tells Roman and Aaron that he sexted with Troye Sivan. 

Trigger Warnings: mental illness, arguing, cheating if you consider sexting cheating ig

Quentin.

I’m just gonna go back to my place.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

wait why?

Quentin.

I need to go back to my place

I’ll text you guys later

Aaron.

is it about what Jamison said in the group? ignore him, Q

Quentin.

don’t worry about it. It’s fine

Aaron.

its not. i texted him on the side and told him to cool it

im sorry he said that to you

Quentin.

of course you did

I can’t do this anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

do what??

Quentin.

deal with this

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

deal with what Q

Aaron.

Quentin, I'm making myself look like an ass to defend you in front of him. Don't take this out on us babe. Don't prove him right

Quentin.

being talked down to by all of Aaron’s ex’s who apparently think I’m just his pet now

just go deal with him I’m fine

I didn’t even do anything so I don’t know how I’m proving him right of anything

Aaron.

he's dealt with. it won't happen again

Quentin.

you just don’t even get it

Aaron.

maybe i don't, but come to bed and help me understand

Quentin.

no

I’m tired of it. Your little toys never do this shit to Roman or anyone else and I’m fuckin sick of it

Aaron.

i dont know how that's our fault

Quentin.

it’s not. I guess I’m just not worthy so I’ll step down

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

what have we done to ever make you feel that way

Quentin

You haven’t done anything. I just said it’s not your fault

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

then why are we being punished

Quentin.

you know what, never mind. I’ll just continue to be talked down to so that all of Aaron’s ex’s can pretend like he still feels some type of way about them and I’m just the flavor of the week

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

who cares what they fucking think. It’s not about them.

Quentin.

it’s not about what they think. I don’t care what they think. I care about the way they treat me. Only me

Aaron.

and you need to let me take care of that

Quentin.

yeah okay

maybe you can give him a job too

Aaron.

but don't treat us like this.

that's uncalled for Q

Quentin.

or my bad.. he probably already works for you

it is uncalled for Aaron. It is

Aaron.

cryptic

Quentin.

just let me step aside so you have have your toys close

Aaron.

text us when you cool off. then come back home to bed

Quentin.

yeah, I’m good. Just leave me alone

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

I’m staying at the apartment.

Quentin.

that’s fine

Aaron.

great ill just sleep alone.

Quentin.

maybe text Jamison or Cody I’m sure they would love to keep you company

Aaron.

or maybe half of my other employees

Quentin.

yeah maybe

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Jesus, can you all just stop

Quentin.

I just wish you would even try to see it from my side. Like what if Stas was saying that shit to me? And I worked with him and saw him every day and when he attacked you I ran to text him privately

is that okay? Or maybe if I went to Hawaii would that be okay?

Aaron.

Quentin, I'm on your side. I am seeing it that way. I'm just confused as to why you're getting upset at us.

Quentin.

I’m not upset at Roman

Aaron.

and why are you mad at me?

Quentin.

because Aaron. You tell me all this shit and then turn around and pet their heads

I just don’t get it. How you can just act like, oh I told them to stop and just want me to drop it

Aaron.

I just told you I’m making an ass of myself defending you to him

Quentin.

well, don’t go making an ass of yourself on my account

the only ass I saw was him

Aaron.

okay quentin. Reset. What can I do to make this better

Quentin.

leave me alone. That’s what you can do.

I don’t want to do this anymore

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

Q don’t make any rash decisions right now. Just cool off.

Quentin.

I shouldn’t have to dread going into the town chat or have to watch what I say or else I’m gonna be attacked by Aaron’s thots.

it’s bullshit

Aaron.

read

Quentin.

I’m sorry, I do love you Aaron. I’m just so tired of fighting everyone just to be with you

Aaron.

Quentin. Cool off. Please

Quentin

I am cool

Aaron.

I love you

Quentin.

yeah

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

:(

Quentin.

the thing is. I’m not mad at either of you

I’m just so tired of it

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

nothing in life is ever easy Q, but what we have is worth it.

Quentin.

yeah okay

I’ve been belittled my entire life. I just don’t want to have to deal with it in order to have a boyfriend

especially when said boyfriend just talks them down and doesn’t really care enough to cut it off

Aaron

but cut what off?

Quentin.

all these ex’s you are so determined to stay friends with even though they make me feel this way

Aaron.

you just told me about Cody today and Jamo wasn’t an issue until now

Cody is going to raise my best friend’s child and Jamison is my business partner. It is not that easy

Quentin.

okay well, that’s why I’m making it easy

Aaron.

don’t talk like that

Quentin.

Jay is my best friend too ya know? I’ve tried so hard to be friendly with Cody. But every time I turn around he’s being an asshat to me

it’s fine. It’ll all be fine

Aaron.

I’m sorry

I’m so sorry

Quentin.

don’t be

I guess I just need to start being more of an asshole myself

Quentin.

anyway, have a good night

the next morning

Aaron.

can we promise never to let other people affect our relationship

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I can definitely promise that

Aaron.

me too

♛ 𝕽𝖔𝖒𝖆𝖓 ♛

I don’t wanna lose either one of you.

Aaron.

and you won’t.

Quentin.

hello

Aaron.

morning sleepyhead

Quentin.

morning.

Quentin.

Troye and I messed around last night over text after you and Aaron fell asleep. I was rolling in molly and I wasn’t thinking straight and I swear I wasn’t getting off with him. I just didn’t think it was serious and I don’t even remember doing it. But I wanted you to know. I’d never keep that from either of you and I hope you know I don’t want him. It was a stupid crush and I’m so sorry. I’m so so so sorry

Aaron.

read

Quentin.

I just want to add that I don’t want him. I swear I don’t want him and I don’t even wanna go see him now. He’s been flirting with me for days now, which Roman I told you about that. But idk what happened. I’m not a cheater. I don’t wanna be a cheater. I’m so sorry I can’t even breath. Please don’t hate me. I love you both so much. With every ounce of my existence

Aaron.

read

I love you too

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

read

Quentin.

I love you both.

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧.

I love you too.

Aaron.

read

[peppermintquartz]

minific, Playroom!verse

the whole dang bunch, Ballins pov

*

It started as just casual weekend hangouts, but with the three of them being the competitive sort, they’ve since found that they enjoy spending time together more when they have something to win.

Thus far this month, they have tried axe-throwing (Seth won), archery (Mustafa won), and karting (Tyler won, and nearly gave Roman a heart attack from almost crashing into Seth). 

“tie-breaker dis weeknd,” Seth announces over text. “suggestions??”

Finn hooks his chin over his lover’s shoulder to peer at the phone. “Why can’t we just go with a competitive orgy again? Joe and I are more than happy to help.”

“Because Roman won’t join in and it’s not fair to him,” Seth chides the Irishman before kissing him on the cheek. “We have that trip to Lake Como two weeks from now, I’m sure we can find some time to have an orgy in Tyler’s villa then. Roman can go wander around town while we break a bed or something.”

Chuckling, Finn noses the soft spot behind Seth’s ear. “Sweetheart, Roman may not want to join in, but he’s definitely not going to leave Tyler to our mercies if he’s not around. He’ll stay and watch, and then steal Tyler away when he can’t take it any longer.”

Seth snorts. It’s now a standing joke among them that Roman just has to be the one that fucks Tyler to sleep whenever they play. (Not that Tyler is complaining about that at all.) 

Mustafa is the first to respond in the group chat. “bowling?”

“bowling shoes r UGLY 🤮🤮🤮” is Tyler’s immediate rejoinder. ‘y do u hate me stafa whyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭😭’

Finn buries his face into Seth’s neck and laughs. The younger man squirms - Finn’s beard tickles - before typing, ‘ive nvr bowled b4 tho’

“Joe is probably having a conniption right about now seeing all this terrible texting,” the older man remarks.

As if on cue, Joe sends, “Use proper English, you brats.”

“It’s all Finn’s fault.” Roman even sounds smug over text. “He sets a bad example.“

Finn takes Seth’s phone and types, “nexttime im fuckin princess in gaelige u lil fukk n i wont let u hav him 4 hours n hours - fn”

Seth steals his phone back. “Don’t be rude.”

“Then he shouldn’t have said I’m a bad example.” Finn licks the shell of the younger man’s ear and nibbles on it. “Bowling. You and me on one team, Joe and Stafa, Tyler and Roman. We’ll wipe the floor with their asses.”

It’s a great idea (though Tyler is still sulking about the ugly shoes in the group chat at the end of the discussion) and everyone agrees. Joe throws in an additional wager for the losers to buy dinner.

(Finn and Seth win, mostly by virtue of Finn showing up in very flattering jeans and distracting Tyler, Roman and Mustafa thoroughly. Joe calls Finn a dirty cheater, but since Tyler and Roman are the ones footing the bill, he doesn’t protest overmuch.)

[hardyimagines]

Debt Collector — Part 2

Alfie comes to collect a debt owed to him every week/month from your husband. Your scared of him but can't help feeling attracted to him. Your husband isn't very nice to you in general. One month when Alfie comes ur husband can't pay so he agrees to go with one of Alfie's men to do a side job for him. Alfie stays with you untill the job is done. And things can get steamy pretty please.😘

Warnings: sex

Part 1

——

It was never your intention to be unfaithful. And even though you’d kissed the gangster, you’d managed to convince yourself that it was purely because of curiosity. It didn’t make you a cheater. In your moment of weakness, you’d pathetically used the excuse that kissing wasn’t nearly as bad as having sex. So you told yourself you hadn’t cheated, as you sat in Alfie’s lap with your mouth glued to his own. Even as his roaming hands began to grip the bottom of your dress and roll it up and along your soft thighs, you’d told yourself it was innocent. It didn’t mean much, did it?

Lionel didn’t touch you like this. Never did he pull you on to his lap so he could kiss you feverishly or caress every inch of your body. He never took time to foreplay, he just wanted to rush right into the penetration part. But Alfie, Alfie was being tender with you, almost seemingly loving. His hands were firm on your body, determined to brush along every part of you. So why then did you feel guilty for not feeling guilty? Was it because your heart didn’t belong to the man the ring on your finger bound you to?

It was heartbreaking to know that a man you’d thought you’d loved had turned out to be cruel. Mean. Impossible to love. You’d tolerated him for all this time, convinced yourself that he was the best thing for you. But when Alfie had managed to get your dress up to your stomach and your arms lifted on their own accord, you found that you liked the feelings Alfie made you feel. Bashful. Confident. Warm. Desired. Lionel didn’t make you feel like that. He made you feel bored. Empty. Alone. Sad. Those weren’t feelings that a married woman should carry with her on the daily.

So you let Alfie undress you. And you forgot the meaning of the word cheater. It didn’t fit this scenario. A cheater was someone who knowingly gave another person attention when the person they were meant to be loving loved them back.. but Lionel didn’t love you. You knew that. There were no morning kisses or nightly ones. Not soft inquiries on how your day went. No meals together. No dates. No cuddling. Your life was spent living with a man that you were almost positive couldn’t stand you. It hurt you much more to know that you were his wife than it did to know you wanted to let things with Alfie progress.

Your gown was on the floor and the strong man beneath you lifted you swiftly along with his own body. He carried you on his strong hips, holding you close to him so he could keep your bare form warm. You hooked your arms around his shoulders, clutching on to him as your mouths continued to battle one another. The sounds he pulled from your throat were noises you didn’t know you were capable of making and the closer to the bedroom he grew, the louder you became. Impatience swarmed you as a hot bubble of need formed in the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t felt that in forever. Not since you’d first married Lionel and he’d taken your virginity. But after he’d had you a few times, he grew tired. Hell, you didn’t know much about sex seeing as the only thing you’d ever done was lay beneath the man like a rag doll and take what he gave you.

He was harsh with his thrusts, aggressive with his mouth, hands, hips. You always felt so sore and bruised and you barely knew what an orgasm felt like. He rarely ever bothered to push you to your climax. He was selfish and he didn’t care.

Alfie laid you down on the wide bed, warm fingers tracing the outer part of your thighs. “Pet?” He spoke up. He could see the empty tint in your gaze. You were far away. It took you a moment to draw yourself out of your cluttered thoughts. Moving your hand to your locks, you pushed the slightly sweaty strands away from your skin and peered up at the gent who hovered above you. “Everything alright?” He murmured. He was unaware of what had actually happened behind closed doors. For all he knew Lionel was great in bed and he had a lot to live up to.

Alfie moved his hand to your cheeks. Pinching them together softly, he leaned forward and stole one more kiss before waiting for you to respond to his question. “Yeah.. I’m fine, i was just.. far away.” You placed your hands on his wide shoulders before giving them a squeeze of assurance. “Would you mind not being so rough with me?” The question was almost inaudible. But he’d heard you.

“Fuckin’ hell, pet, do I look like the type, yeah, to fucking hurt you?” His hand fell away from your face to instead glide south to your jugular. He traced your skin lazily, blue eyes scanning yours for an answer.

Alfie did look tough, rough, and mean. And he was most certainly capable of rough sex, you were sure of that. “No..” You lied. But that wasn’t why you’d said what you’d said. “Well,” You paused before biting your cheek. “yes, actually, but I’m not asking you because you look strong.” You giggled quietly. It felt weirdly comfortable to talk to him when you were laid beneath him, completely naked. “Lionel’s too rough with me and I.. don’t like it much.”

A little crinkle formed on his face before a frown stained his lips. His hand brushed down and along your body, delicate as it skimmed your skin. There was nothing wrong with hard sex. Nothing wrong with angry, rough, or brutal sex. So long as your partner enjoyed it too. He hadn’t even thought about being anything but firm with you. He leaned in and gave you a very light peck on the lips before moving his mouth to your ear. His breaths tickled your skin, summoning goosebumps to rise all along your body. “Relax, right, pet, I’m not going to do anything to you, yeah, that you don’t fucking like.” His hand was on your chest, palm resting between your breasts. He watched closely as you closed your eyes, a sign that you trusted him. Neither of you knew if that was a good or bad thing.

Alfies hand slid to the side, fingers skimming your hardened nipple before they continued to brush along your breast until his palm covered you completely. He was rather tender with his touch, kneading and squeezing you lazily as he tested to see what it was that you liked. It didn’t take much more of him massaging your breast before you arched your back off the bed and whimpered out pleadingly for him to do the same to your other one. He did so.

Your knees bent slowly, feet smushing the duvet beneath you as your heels dug into the soft fabric. Letting out a breathy moan of want, you turned your head toward his own and caught his lips for a firm kiss. “You dont have to be uncharacteristically kind to me, Alfie.. I just can’t handle being fucked like I’m hated.” You mumbled out. Alfie frowned.

“He’s doing it wrong, pet. Sex is suppose to be good no matter how slow, gentle, hard, or fast it is, right, you’re just doing it with the wrong fucking person.” He spoke against your lips before letting his ring-covered fingers brush along your stomach and down to the space between your thighs. The medal on his hand was cold when it skimmed your sensitive skin, but it was appreciated because you felt as if you were on fire. Alfie made a promise to himself not to lose his self control. He wasn’t going to harm you in any way. He didn’t want you thinking of Lionel, he wanted you to crave him over and over and over, long after he’d gone home.

—

Ollie looked toward Lionel, elbow resting on the hood of the car as he slumped against it. He sent the man across from him a stern look and then a questioning gaze, as if to ask if he’d done what he needed to.

“Stop fucking looking at me like that.” Lionel uttered. He wiped his blood stained hands off on the front of his jacket before moving toward the passenger door. Grabbing ahold of the handle with his sleeve, he yanked it open roughly before lifting himself up on to the side of the car. Sliding inside, he shut the door just as roughly as he’d opened it before collapsing against the seat. His fingers rubbed against each other, eyes glued to the mess he’d made. The lifeless body inside was sure to go by unnoticed seeing as the bloke didn’t have many friends and no family. He looked toward Ollie when the younger lad climbed into the driver’s seat.

“I wasn’t looking at you in any particular way.” He murmured before slipping the key into the ignition. He leaned over and popped the handle to the glovebox before rummaging around inside. He drew out a bottle of water and a damp cloth before tossing them both to Lionel. “Clean up. Change your shirt. Toss it in the back. There’s a clean one on the floor.” He directed the man before beginning to lead the car away from the crime scene and back toward Camden.

Lionel did as he was told. His shaky fingers pinched the fastened buttons, undoing them one by one before he slipped the fabric off of his shoulders and rolled the material down the length of his arms. He threw the cloth into the back seat before changing into something clean after he’d rid of all the blood on his hands. Bits of red stained the corner of his fingernails, but overall, he’d cleaned up majority of the mess.

—

Your fingertips traced the visible veins on Alfies arms. Brushing from one end of his strained skin, all the way down to the other. You whimpered beneath his heavily breathing form, savoring the intensity of this moment. You didn’t know when or if you’d ever feel it again. Your fingers were locked around his forearms as his palms rested beside your head, curled tightly in the bedding that the pair of you were laid on. You squirmed beneath him now and then, adjusting your hips desperately when you needed him to fix his angle. It blew his mind how willing you were to let him know what felt good. He couldn’t imagine how many times you’d probably tried to tell Lionel, but the man was too selfish to care. Alfie leaned in so that your foreheads rested against one another. A low moan of approval left your lips, his name following directly after the quiet sound.

“S’alright, pet?” He grunted out hoarsely. His voice was strained, heavy.

“Mh...” You clamped your eyes shut before nodding. You were so grateful for his need to check on you, it left you feeling cared for. You felt a bit pathetic, seeking comfort from someone who probably truly didn’t give a damn about you. Your nose bumped his before you head tipped to the side, lips twitching south momentarily. Alfie had caught the little flicker. His thrusts were hard, much harder than Lionel’s, but they werent angry or unbearable. He was playing with your clit and adjusting his angle so that this wasn’t just some painful, repetitive fuck. He slowed considerably when he spotted your frown. Moving his hand to your cheek, he gently guided your face back to his own before leaning in and stealing a soft kiss from you.

“What’s the matter?” He piped up again, though his words seemed to slur into one big word. He lifted his hand away from the bed, moving it instead to your forehead. He brushed your sweaty strands away from your skin before studying you. He wasn’t sure why he felt protective suddenly over your much smaller form or why it hurt him to see you frowning, but he didn’t like the little jab in his chest that seemed to affect his heart.

“Nothing.” You panted out softly. Your droopy eyes fluttered open so you could gaze up at the handsome bloke. Alfie arched a brow, hand lowering to rest on your curvy hip. He adjusted himself inside you, knees sliding along the blanket as he wiggled closer.

“Sure, pet. I saw that little frown, yeah, I’m not fucking blind, right, spit it out. What’s on your mind?” He assumed that he was maybe hurting you and you just didn’t want to say anything, but when you opened your eyes and your shining orbs met his own, he swore he read you like a book. Alfie didn’t want to call you out for feeling too curious about what this meant. You were having sex. Did this instantly mean there were feelings or was it just sex? You were sure it was the latter and that thought alone made you feel a little sick. You didn’t want to continue to be someone’s means of pleasure until they grew bored and tossed you away. “Pet.” He drew you out of your thoughts. “Come on, yeah, don’t get lost in all the ‘what-if’s’ and wonders.” He leaned in and kissed your nose. He wanted to promise you that he had had no intentions of using you like a toy.. and that because you’d done this, he wanted to do it many, many more times. But he was a busy man, and busy men like him didn’t make promises — they found them too hard to keep.

“I know, I’m sorry.” You whispered quietly before lifting your arms so they could circle his neck. You didn’t want to ruin the moment by getting all down in your feelings, so you embraced the large man and gently lifted your hips toward his own so you could urge him on. Alfie was still for a few more moments before he leaned in and kissed you again. His lips lingered more and more after each kiss he gave you before he spoke against your mouth.

“This, right, it’s not gonna be a one time thing, pet. I’m not Lionel, yeah, im not fucking using you.” His tone was sincere, a drawl, it was sweet. Your head bobbed along to his words, heart clenching because your brain told you he was merely trying to soothe your worries for the time being so the sex could continue. You shut your eyes. Lionel had ruined everything for you. Every man would always feel like a threat the second you met them because they could be just as bad as your husband — or worse. You didn’t want to think about that now, Alfie was doing his best to soothe you and you wanted it to work.

You shut out all the loud thoughts in your head and instead focused on the nerves and ecstasy in your body that Alfie was causing with so much ease. When you lifted your hips again and this time began rocking, he resumed his thrusting, steady and slow at first which gradually picked up in speed and force.

It had been hours, whether it felt like it or not, and unbeknownst to you and the gangster, Ollie had just pulled up outside. The car was parked on the curb, keys jingling noisily in the blokes hand as the medals tapped against one another. Lionel walked a few feet ahead of Ollie, ready to take an actual shower and bid the criminals, he’d wound up involved with, goodbye. He didn’t bother knocking on the door to his own home seeing as it was his, but the second he opened the front door, he wondered if he should’ve.

The hollow moans and broken-record cries that filled the house were enough to make his blood hot. What the hell was going on and who the hell was making those sounds?

At first, he didn’t even think of your name. He’d never heard sounds that sounded remotely like that ever fall from your lips. You were a quiet lover, a limp one. But as he began to frantically search the downstairs for you and the gangster he’d left you with, he was forced to come to the conclusion that it was, in fact, his wife whining out alongside what could only be Alfie Solomons. His stomach twisted enviously, but his heart didn’t pang. Lionel didn’t feel betrayed at all — he felt only anger. Had this been Alfies sole purpose of getting him out of the house? So his punishment could be to come home to the criminal screwing his wife? A large part of him didn’t even care, but the part of him that held the struggle to manage even just a sliver of anger.. it was like an explosion internally. Lionel was red in the face, ready to tear Alfies head off.

Truthfully, he had no desire anymore to have sex with you or love on you like he had during your first year of marriage.. but he didn’t want any other man doing it either. He just wanted you to exist.. you didn’t need a loving touch from any other man. Or from him. He stepped forward so he could clamber up the stairs and throw open the door to his bedroom, but Ollie swiftly stepped in front of the stair way, halting him from going any further.

No. Alfie hadn’t come here today with the intention of sleeping with you. Ollie knew that. Alfie would’ve said something. And he also knew, since it had happened unaccording to the plan they’d gone over a million times the previous night, that Alfie would want no interruptions.

“Out of my way!” Lionel bellowed to the bloke in front of him. “Mate, I will fucking punch you.” The bloke in front of Ollie threatened him lowly. Ollie was unmoving. His face was calm. He laid his hands on the rails, shoulders shrugging.

“And if you do, Alfie will do worse to you. Trust me on that one.” His head bobbed, demeanor entirely too relaxed and nonchalant over this entire situation.

Alfie looked over his shoulder, hips continuing to buck toward your own at an impossible speed. His thumb rolled your clit repeatedly before rubbing it when he heard your breaths quake. He could hear the loud shots from downstairs, the pounding on the wall which he was sure was Lionel trying to get your attention. Alfie looked back down at you.

You were in your own little world. Your arms were stretched high above you, fingers wrapped around the railing of the headboard. Your eyes were closed peacefully and your mouth hung open in a wide O, brows drawn together in an intense crease. He studied you intently before leaning in and pressing his mouth against your throat. You moaned out quietly before tilting your head so that you could give him more room to explore.

“Oh... Alfie.” Your toes curled.

Alfie bit your neck playfully, succeeding instantly in his attempt to pull a little giggle from your throat. You moaned out directly after before beginning to rock your hips toward his just a little bit harder and faster. Your pace didn’t quite match his, but it didn’t matter to him. He took ahold of your hips in his palms and pinned them to the mattress before beginning to ram himself into you. He was determined to move this quickly and this firmly until you were so paralyzed by ecstasy, you wouldn’t know if you wanted him to stop or keep going.

Lionel clenched his jaw and stared at the ceiling as your cries grew louder and fell from your lips more often. Alfie grunted with every thrust, little breathy whines playing in with the sounds. It was music to your ears, hearing the big bear of a man pathetically whimper because of how good he felt. It took absolutely no time at all before every muscle in your body clenched and your stomach began to flip repeatedly. Every ounce of warmth seemed to travel south to your groin where it almost tickled, then tingles, and then an explosion of relief flooded you. It was a mind-numbing feeling. One that left you panting, breathless, shaking. You felt exhausted, but your insides were still tightly clenched around the man, begging him to just stay there forever. Your climax left you feeling weak and worn out so the second that he’d emptied himself inside you, he slowed, dragging out both of your climaxes before he slid out of you and collapsed at your side.

Your sweaty cheeks lifted with your toothy smile. Lifting your small hand to his hot chest, you shyly moved toward him, testing to see if he’d let you snuggle up to him. His arm opened, lifting out of your way so you could come in as close as you pleased. You let out a soft hum of delight before locking your leg around his hips and setting your head on his big, broad shoulder. He laid his arm around you, fingers tracing your hip, up along your side to your ribs.

It was peacefully quiet, neither of you thinking about the man downstairs or his endless shouting. All you could think of, as you lazily twisted the hairs on the front of Alfies chest, was how you wished he was the man you’d ended up with instead of Lionel. It took a few more moments for the pair of you to catch your breath before you sat up in bed and pushed your curled locks out of your face. Sliding off of the mattress, you brushed your palms along your soft skin before moving toward the vanity. Alfie watched you closely, arms lifting to fold beneath his head as he studied the way you came to a halt at the dresser. You pinched the wedding ring and smoothly slid it off before opening the top drawer and tossing it inside. Drawing your lips in, you stood there for a moment before letting out a quiet sigh.

Alfie rubbed down the length of his face repeatedly before climbing out of bed and moving toward his discarded clothes. He began to re-dress, but his eyes were unwavering from you. “Pet?” You looked to him. “You, yeah, still want that fucking job?” Your head bobbed softly. “Right, well, you’ll start tomorrow, if that’s alright, and.. if you ever need a place to stay that isn’t so fucking toxic, as I’m sure it’ll be after today, you can always stay around mine.” He offered quietly as he began to button the front of his shirt. You sent him a lazy, grateful smile before crossing the room.

“Careful, Mr. Solomons, your word choice is exactly what brought us here.” You looked to the bed before brushing his hands out of the way and taking it upon yourself to continue to button his shirt.

“Yeah?” He grinned cockily. “How’s about I take you home with me then, now. I don’t think he’s gonna be too fucking kind to you when you see him, is he? And I’d have to break something if he were to lay a hand on you.”

“Hes never hurt me before, Alfie.” You promised the man before laying your hands on his stomach. “I’m okay, really. It’ll be alright.” You didn’t want to go with Alfie. You didn’t want things to move too fast. And it weirded you out how much you craved to be with the man in front of you. Eager for work. Desperate to take him up on his offer to spend the night. You leaned up on your toes and stole a soft kiss before wrapping your arms around his middle. Alfie grumbled out against your mouth before lifting your arms and drawing them around his neck instead. The action forced you to lift up on your tiptoes, but he was more than happy to assist you in balancing. He locked his arms around you, continuing to kiss you at a very lazy pace. It was slow, warm, and it left you feeling heavy. “I need a hot shower.” You told him softly when the kiss came to a close. You playfully bit his bottom lip, dragging it out and down as you lowered yourself back down to your flat feet. You released it when you distanced. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Alfie couldn’t help but smirk. His hand moved to his trousers, lugging them all the way up and into their rightful place before he zipped and buttoned them. He watched you disappear into the bathroom before he slipped his feet into the toppled over boots and hunched over to tie them. He swallowed thickly. He felt as if he was growing to be attached to you rather quickly... Since when did he let himself be so weak toward a woman.. and since when did it not bother him? Alfie pulled the bedroom door open and moved out into the corridor. Walking down the hall and toward the stairs, he halted at the top.

Ollie was in the middle. Lionel at the bottom, banging on the wall.

“That’s a real fucking mood killer, you know that, mate?” Alfie piped up. His hand moved to the front of his trousers, fisted hand opening in order to force the front of his shirt into his slacks. He tucked the material away as he began to descend, fingers brushing against his belly with the movement as he continued to shove the white fabric into the waistband of his slacks. His brows twitched, waiting for Lionel to respond cockily. Lionel knew better than to take up an attitude with Alfie Solomons. “Now, mate, you clearly have something you wanna say, yeah, so let’s fucking hear it.”

Lionel was still. Silent. Afraid. “Alfie, you..” His voice faltered. “Were you just...”

Alfies ears twitched. “fucking your wife, mate?” His lips curved in the faintest as he began to descend, only coming to a stop when he’d reached Ollie. “I was, lad, seeing as you weren’t fucking doin’ it, and if you were, you weren’t doing it right. Lass is gonna be awful sore tomorrow, but I’ll be sure and take good care of her, seeing as she is my new assistant.” Alfie looked toward Ollie. “Just an extra set of hands, right, we could always use a pair.” He clapped his hand down against Lionel’s shoulder, squeezing it before he passed by the men completely. He grabbed his coat and hat from the rack before dragging the material on and looking back toward Lionel. “I’m safe to assume you did what was needed, right, and I did what she needed so.” He opened his arms, shrugging. “We’re even, yeah, consider your debt finalized and you are once again neutral. Won’t be bothering you anymore,” He twisted around to leave, but didn’t make it very far before he looked back toward Lionel. “and Lionel, yeah, don’t try and stop the girl from coming to work. Don’t shout at her or do whatever it is you’re planning on doing right now, alright? Because I assure you whatever you put her through, I’ll see to it that you go through much worse.”

Ollie pat the man’s back before retreating from the room directly after his boss. He paused in the doorway, hand curling around the front door handle. “Open or closed?” He inquired, still just as nonchalant as before. He studied Lionel, noting the man’s faraway gaze. He was silent. Unmoving. “Closed?” He shook the handle, attempting to get the man’s attention. When it didn’t work, he almost smiled before stepping out of the house and slamming the door shut directly behind him.

Ollie climbed into the same car as Alfie, both of them dropping back against the seats and sending lingering looks toward the home.

“Did you plan to...” Ollie started.

“No, mate.” Alfie cut him off.

“But she went with it?” He continued.

“Initiated it.” He nodded before laying his hands on the steering wheel and studying the house.

“And she’s really gonna start working with us?” Ollie pulled a sweet out of his pocket and pushed it past his lips.

“Yeah, mate, anything to get her out of there.” He let out a breathy sigh. “She’s quite sweet. I think you’ll like her.” He turned over the ignition. “But let’s just get one thing straight, right, I am pursuing this one, alright, I’m interested in her so you just keep your distance.” Ollie defensively lifted his hands before shaking his head in amusement.

Ollie had a tendency to flirt with the younger women that came around the distillery. Be it for a delivery or because their father worked for Alfie, when Alfie saw them, he never approached because he knew they’d pick the lanky, shaggy-haired boy at his side. Not him. He was far too old. He looked back to the house. Or maybe just older. You seemed to like him just fine.

The car pulled out of the driveway before driving off and into the fog infested streets. It was no longer than thirty seconds before the black vehicle was invisible, swallowed by the large cloud that loomed throughout the whole city. Ollie laid his head back against the seat and Alfie tried to silence his thoughts, each one revolving around you. Things were most certainly going to be different from here on out — and all because he’d let himself be, for just a few months, a debt collector.

———————————————————————

Part 1

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[btgalaxy]

Moonlight - Jungkook wolf!au

➳ pairing: jungkook x reader

➳ genre: wolf!au, a little bit of everything tbh; angst, fluff, smut

➳ word count: 4.6k

warnings: oral sex, fingering

previous / next / masterlist

Chapter 9

When Jungkook wakes, you’re still vulnerable in a deep slumber, weighing down on one of his arms. His eyes slowly focus in on the ceiling, feeling only the warm gusts of breath against his palm from your slightly parted lips. Why does he have to be so impulsive sometimes? It’s like he can’t hold back, as much as he wants to and tells himself it’s not the right course of action he just cannot stop himself from submitting to his inner Alpha instincts telling him to go crazy. And you thinking he doesn’t want you? You couldn’t be more wrong.

Everyday he ends up at the packhouse after leaving you in the morning, only able to envision the sight of you with strands of hair strewn across your face, sticking to your lips and your silk nightdress looming dangerously low on your chest to reveal some of the supple flesh that makes him want to reach out and trace the curve of your breast, feeling the way you automatically press into him. He wants it so badly. He agonises everyday with his hand down the front of his jeans behind his desk, rapidly searching for something to relieve this paralysing ache, but he’s never left fully satisfied. He still yearns for more, for you.

You stir slightly in your sleep, turning around to face him and nuzzle into his bare chest and his arm tightens around your form, gently running his fingertips along the skin of your arm. All he wants to do is protect you. He couldn’t bear seeing you hurt; it might nearly kill him. Even worse, the thought of you being in another man’s arms, kissing him, caring for him, loving him. He subconsciously curls around you closer. He can’t think about that.

In fact, he doesn’t want to find the Hoseok boy from your old pack; he doesn’t want to know anything about the little shit, but he’ll do it for you. If it at least stops you from contacting that damn unmated Alpha Taehyung from Crimson Lake then he’ll do anything. And he truly does want to see you happy- something he isn’t entirely sure he’s experienced much of since you got here, so, despite being angry finding you on the phone to that imbecile Alpha, he’ll do it. Stupid fuckin’ Taehyung.

He presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before slipping from your grip and the security of the duvet and staggering over to the cupboard to yank a jumper from the hanger, but not before he notices a broken piece of cardboard that flies to his feet. He leans down and takes it between his thumb and forefinger, glancing at your sleeping form briefly to check you’re still dead asleep, then brings out the rest of the box.

“Shit,” he mutters quietly to himself. The lid is broken. The lid has been broken by someone, and that someone would never be Jin, he wouldn’t have the nerve, nor Jimin- he knows all about Jungkook’s history already. It has to have been you. He swallows down the bile biting at his throat when he sees a glimpse of himself and his father many years ago; a brief slice of history sized down into a tiny polaroid, coated now in a thin layer of dust. He swiftly places the broken top back on, shoving the whole thing back into the cupboard and retrieving a jumper, deftly ignorant to the reality.

It’s a good few hours later that you wake up, still feeling Jungkook’s phantom touch across your skin, lingering like twilight hues. His scent is smothered over the bed sheets, so you bury your face into the fabric and just inhale deeply, already missing his arms around, holding you protectively. How can he go from being such a gorgeous, affectionate mate to some crazy, possessive Alpha overnight? He’s not the only one suffering from migraines at the hands of this relationship.

Reluctant to leave the aroma, you groan to get up, clicking your neck back and sliding from the cushioned mattress to your feet, barely awake as you meander into the bathroom to wet your face and brush your teeth.

“Y/N?” Jin’s voice echoes from outside your room. You hum loudly in response, prompting his entrance.

“You look well-slept,” he smiles slightly from the doorframe, watching you brush your teeth with hooded eyes.

You try to mumble a retort with a mouthful of foaming water, but the most you come out with is an indistinguishable grunt with bits of toothpaste spattering on the floor.

“Red Moon’s Luna everyone,” Jin applauds sarcastically, eyes glossing with amusement.

You spit into the sink, “Funny.”

“I like to think I am.”

You pat your mouth dry with the towel, wiping away the excess on your lips before sighing, “So what’s the plan for today?”

Jin slumps against the side of the door, crossing his arms over, “Well, Alpha gave me this phone and told me-“

“He gave you your own phone?” Your eyes swell with jealousy, focusing in on the small device your guard pulls from his pocket.

He softly retreats, “Yes… he did… he told me that I should wait for his text, and in the meantime there are some board games in the cupboard in his office…”

Your eyes are still glazing over his pocket, holding the small cell, “But your own phone…”

“Why is that such a big deal?” He laughs, but you can see he’s a tad unnerved by your obsession.

You sigh, despondently, “I wish he trusted me that much.”

Jin laughs at your misery, ushering you to get ready, “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Jin wins four rounds of monopoly, but you’re sure he’s stealing from the bank. Then he beats you at Scrabble too, and cards. Cheat, rummy, sevens, trumps. You aren’t particularly good at those types of things anyhow, never have been. And Jin seems to be some kind of a professional, with all of his fancy shuffling and smug moves. You nearly want to strangle him.

During one game of Cluedo, you fake going to the bathroom, to hide around the corner and peer out into the lounge to see him swiftly peeking at the result cards. You huff quietly, grimacing acutely at the sight in front of you.

“I knew you were cheating!” You jump out.

Jin’s head snaps up towards you, hands frantically recoiling from small pack of cards centre of the board, “What? Luna-“

“Don’t Luna me!”

“I didn’t cheat!”

“I watched you!”

“You were in the toilet!”

You continue to bicker like this what feels like endlessly, countering each other with even the pettiest of retorts, but you’re stubborn and he’s too proud. You, however, are also immensely lazy and can’t be arsed to fight with him for hours on end.

“Whatever, I’m sick of board games anyway,” you grumble, surrendering and taking a seat on the sofa behind him curled up on the floor in front of the coffee table.

“We could watch some TV?” He suggests, clambering to his feet.

“I wanna go for a run,” you announce, making him still, “My wolf has been cooped up for quite a while now.”

You’re aware it’s awkward, bringing this up after last time. But truly your wolf hasn’t gone for a run for nearly a couple of weeks now, and back at Scarlet Oak you were out all the time with Hobi or your father, or pack runs. Do they even have those here?

“Luna, we should wait for Alpha Jungkook’s text.” His voice is firm and official, and you hate how he’s so compliant to his Alpha’s commands, unlike you. You guess if you were at the butt of Jungkook’s wraith you might feel the same though.

You exhale deliberately loud, throwing your head back to look up into the spherical chandelier bulbs, “Well we’ve got to do something because I’ll go out of my mind if I have to play with a cheater any longer.”

Jin frowns, “So… TV then?”

“I wanna eat something.”

“I can do food,” he nods mostly to himself, turning gently on his heel and striding towards the kitchen. You immediately rise to your feet, taking a blanket from the sofa and wrapping it round your shoulders to pad behind him, trailing over to the breakfast bar.

You slide onto one of the stools, settling your elbows on the surface and placing your head in your hands, eyes scrutinising his every move like a hawk surveying its prey. It’s instantly clear cooking isn’t something new to the man, the way he glides from one ingredient to the next, effortlessly bringing about a scent that could nearly beat the one of your mate, lingering in your bedsheets.

You wait for some time in silence, watching him throw ingredients into a pot and slowly begin to stir.

“Do you like to cook?” The corner of your lips poke upwards into your cheeks slightly, blossoming beneath your eyes.

He shrugs, looking over his shoulder at you, “My mother showed me how. Said she doesn’t want my mate to be stuck with someone that can’t cook, like my dad.” You smile brighter in response, lying down your arms and placing your cheek to rest on the back of your hand.

“What are your family like?”

Jin continues to stir in the stainless steel pot bubbling on the stove, “Well, my dad’s obviously an Epsilon, like I am. And my mother was just a normal pack wolf, whose rank was raised ever so slightly by my dad. They pester each other a lot, but they love each other.”

“Any siblings?” You poke further into his personal life, enjoying the ability to pry freely, unlike your meddling into Jungkook’s family life.

“Nope, just me. I was a nightmare child apparently- enough to put my parents off having another,” he admits, and your teeth clamp over your lip as you let out a laugh.

“God, I couldn’t picture that,” you tease, tapping your nails against the marble counter.

“Shut up and eat your food,” he shakes his head, bringing over the pot and placing it between the two of you on the table then retrieving two bowls from one of the cupboards. “Hope you like soup.”

You shrug teasingly, before smiling at his grimacing expression and taking a mouthful. Your father says that soup is good for the soul, soothing for it. Then he’d make a joke about how it’s the sweat or tears of some chicken God which you used to pray to as a kid, thinking you’d be blessed with more chicken. It was a long shot, you always knew, but you still liked the idea.

You were always very prone to outside influences, picking up different habits and concepts from those around you. Hobi you took a lot from; the two of you think the same way. After years spent alongside each other, nearly joined at the hip, you became alarmingly similar, from everything down to the position you sleep in. It unsettles the food digesting to think about him though, where he is, what state he’s in. You focus back on Jin, who’s pulled out the cell-phone from his pocket to glaze over the screen.

“What is it?” You ask, bringing another spoonful of broth to your lips, “Is it Jungkook?”

Jin nods, taking a mouthful himself, “He says we should go down to him as soon as possible.”

“Really?”

“Yep.” And he begins speeding up with his food.

It’s mid-afternoon by the time you finish and clean up everything, bundling into Jin’s jeep with profound haste. You miss your mate already, his scent only lingering faintly around the house leaving you with just enough to want more. You’re trying hard not to become completely dependent on him, his love- if anything were to happen to him, you don’t want to be left empty and lonely, or just be too co-dependent either way. You value your individualism, and don’t want to be clouded by your wolf’s constant yearning for her mate, but it seems that’s easier said than done.

The town is quiet, as usual. Just a few pack wolves about a strip of greenery, hosting a BBQ for their families. It’s so unbelievably mundane you envy the whole carefree atmosphere, with some of the older wolves shifted and racing across the turf at top speed, whirring by like a blur. You sigh, resting your head against the doorframe of the jeep and running your teeth over your lower lip. You aren’t sure if life will ever be that same level of easiness again.

Reaching a meeting room in the pack house, Jungkook and Jimin are sat across from each other at a large oak table, conversing tensely over something you’re uninformed of. Jungkook spots you immediately, but he doesn’t smile, he looks concerned, agitated, and your stomach starts to churn.

“What is it?” You ask, blatantly. You can already see something’s wrong, and you don’t want to beat around the bush like he does with every other uncomfortable subject. Him and his Beta exchange a knowing look, your mate rising to his feet seconds later to come and greet you with a hand to your waist.

“Did you have a good day?” He asks, ignorantly.

You frown in response, looking past him at Jimin, “What is it?”

The Beta freezes under your glare, glancing to his lap as Jungkook sighs, pulling you closer, “We looked into the Hoseok case,” he reveals, holding you against him to soften the blow of anxiety that drains you of any other emotion.

Your skin pales, “Hobi? You’ve found him?” You swallow back the apprehension nipping at your mind, “You- Is he…” You try not to think the worst, but the whole situation speaks otherwise.

Jungkook brings you to sit down at the table, gently caressing your side, “He’s not dead.”

You can finally breathe at the words, exhaling and closing your eyes to restore your shattering heart at the thought of your best friend’s death.

Then Jungkook speaks again, “But he was seen by an Epsilon near Red Moon, with a man identified as Min Yoongi.” What?

It doesn’t make any sense. Yoongi with Hobi? You never even met Yoongi, let alone Hobi. Why on earth were they together near Red Moon? Why the hell is Hobi even near Red Moon? The last time you saw him was with your father in Scarlet Oak, perhaps upset you were leaving, but nothing insinuated he would follow you all the way here. Is that what he’s doing? Following you? But then why wouldn’t he answer his phone? Your head spins.

“With Yoongi? Yoongi as in June’s…,” you struggle to label the relationship, “June’s- June’s ex?” But June slept with Hobi, so why would the two of them get all buddy-buddy?

“We confirmed it over the phone with her today,” Jimin tells you from the other side of the table, pushing across his phone to show a text image to June. The picture isn’t of Hobi, but for the first time you see Yoongi. He’s handsome, of course. You expect nothing less of a boyfriend of June’s. But something about him looks so deadly sinister, his jaw clenched and lips pursed into a tight line as he leans against a tree, eyeing the landscape cautiously.

“What’s he doing?” You mutter, reaching for the device, but before you’re able to, Jungkook draws your attention.

“We haven’t made any correlations yet, but I have certain theories,” he mumbles, looking off to the side with a subtle anger burning behind his eyes.

You turn towards him, “Theories?”

“We’ll look into it more for you, and as soon as we have some definite answers you’ll be the first to know, okay?”

You nod slowly, numbly, unable to look him in the eye, enveloped in a hurricane of anxiety and panic.

“Jin, you can go home. I’ll drive Y/N back.”

Your mate guides you towards his car, but it all seems like a dream, the tension and confusion leaving you lost. He opens the door for you and you slide in, swallowing back the concern as you buckle yourself into the seat.

Maybe Yoongi is mad at Hobi for sleeping with June? Is Hobi safe? What if Yoongi dragged Hobi over to Red Moon so that Jungkook would deal with him? But, Jungkook wouldn’t do that, would he? Not after everything that’s happened- he wouldn’t do that, surely-

“You okay?” The voice brings you from your spiralling thoughts, like a soothing velvet to your ears. You look over at him, suddenly unsure how you feel about the situation – aside from sheer anxiety – and you don’t know if he’s telling you the full truth.

“I guess so,” you announce, exhaling deeply, “But it doesn’t make sense, why would they both be here? Why wouldn’t Hobi tell me anything? He didn’t even know Yoongi!” You know better than to expect a straightforward response, so the Alpha’s silence is what you settle for. You’re irritated and stressed, yes, but you don’t want to argue with him now. Not after today.

Soon enough, the car is pulling up in front of the house and you hesitantly open the door and follow an awaiting Jungkook.

“Is there anything you need?” The uncertainty in his tone depicts his own worries; that if he doesn’t divulge all his secrets that you’ll drift away again, and that gaping void that lingers in your past will break through again and pull you apart. You surprise him when you simply walk over to him however, and wrap your arms around his waist, his scent relaxing you as it always does, bringing you a much needed escape from the hauntings in your head. Your body begins to regain feeling, and you realise just how exhausted you are from the stress. You fall into his arms, and he’s quick to keep you up and steady.

“Do you want to take a nap or something?” He mumbles into your hair, but you press against him harder instead of responding, moulding your body into his and holding the front of his top in knuckled hands.

“I actually have something for you.”

He separates away from your body with a slight smile, jogging round to his desk to pull open one of the drawers and pull out a small box. You rips back the tape and pulls the top apart to reveal a little camera inside, with a long cable draping out the back.

“Here, I bought a webcam, so you can call your dad on the office computer,” he offers, looking at you hopefully.

You can’t help but smile, nearly distracted by the thought of seeing your father’s face again after so long. You speak on the phone with him everyday but it’s not the same as a face to face conversation, and you miss the way his eyes wrinkle when he smiles, and the lines on his forehead from frowning at books he doesn’t agree with. You can’t wait for whenever he’ll next visit you in Red Moon.

You eagerly sit in Jungkook’s office chair in front of the computer as the screen buffers and loads, till the screen pops up and your dad’s face is frozen.

“Dad,” you smile, seeing him in the lounge frowning down at his laptop like the old man struggling with technology that he is.

“Is it working?” He mumbles, faffing with the angle.

“Yes, it is,” you laugh slightly, looking up at your mate with an appreciative grin.  

Your dad squints at the screen, grazing over your form, “Is Alpha Jungkook there?” Jungkook comes into the frame, leaning down beside you.

Your mate slides his hand onto your thigh and you place yours over it, “You can call him Jungkook, I’m sure he won’t care.” Full well knowing he would care, he squeezes your leg making you squirm with a small giggle, staring you down.

“Oh, of course, Jungkook,” your father’s voice resonates through the speakers.

“He loves it.” You tell him, Jungkook’s eyes still trained on the side of your head.

About an hour later and you still haven’t run out of things to talk about with your dad. You aren’t sure that you ever will. After hanging up you still don’t feel fully satisfied, but your thankful your mate stayed and talked to him too the whole time. When you were younger, you used to go to a school with human children, and as you grew up they all started dating and your friends getting boyfriends and girlfriends, and one thing that was always incredibly important to them was their parent’s blessing. It’s slightly different in the wolf world- you only ever have one mate and so for the parents to dislike them would be unimportant anyway, you aren’t finding anyone different. It still makes you happy, though, that your father seems to like him, that they converse over the recent football game and speak casually to each other. You crave your dad’s blessing, the same way those human kids did too.

You kiss your mate hard on the mouth once your father’s face is off the screen, holding him there by his shirt till you feel contented with the thank you. He leans in again as you pull back, feeling his hot breath against your cheek.

“Thank you for that,” you tell him, “And thank you for finding out about Hobi.”

He brings you to your feet to pull your waist against him, pressing into his groin, “I’ll do anything for you.” He kisses you on the lips again, then slowly travelling to your cheeks and down your jaw along to your neck.

You become entranced in the way he feels, legs nearly failing if he wasn’t holding you up with an arm now curled possessively around your back. He gently suckles on the skin by your collarbone, flattening out his tongue against the flesh every now and then to soothe the irritation, blooming into a deep purple flower on your chest. It's at this moment that everything comes flooding back you were briefly distracted from; Hobi, Yoongi, Red Moon, Rogues- everything.

“Do you think you’ll find him?” You pant, raking your fingers through your mates hair, still firmly attached to your neck. “I just don’t want him to be hurt and it’s difficult for-“

“Stop worrying.” He pulls back momentarily to mumble at you, then going back to the mark on your neck and grazing his teeth over the bite to send a rush of endorphins pulse through you, straight down to your centre. You instinctively convulse against him, releasing a choked moan as he outlines the small indentations of the scar.

“Let me calm you down,” he mutters, running his nose up your jaw and cupping your chin to press hard against your mouth, gently caressing your lips with the silk of his own. Jungkook’s heart rate picks up when you don’t protest, and you’re slowly guided to the sofa in the lounge, pushed over the arm rest onto your back, watching as he deliberately climbs on top you.

He wantonly kisses down your chest, his hands slithering up beneath your top to your waist where his touch burns like fire on the flesh. You can barely breathe as the fabric is hitched up to your bra, and Jungkook rims your navel with the tip of his tongue, sensually rotating his jaw to mark the revealed skin. It feels foreign to have someone so close to your core, gliding down so leisurely to savour every taste of you like one would a Michelin star meal, the excitement pools in your stomach and leaves you churning for more. The wet, underside of his lips falls down your stomach to the top of your jeans and he gently pulls open the button, the zip down.

You moan softly as you push up your hips to allow for the jeans to roll over your legs, your mate falling lower with them to slide the material from your ankles and you hastily kick them away. He smirks at your eagerness, but doesn’t make any teasing comment like you’d expect. He’s far too turned on for that, engrossed in your body’s ministrations as he explores your every pleasure.

There’s a moment when he looks at you from between your legs, a silent inquiry to pull down the white thong concealing your sex, and you respond by exhaling, lulling your head back and shutting your eyes to drown in his intoxicating touch. The small strip of fabric effortlessly grazes down your thighs to rest on your knees, revealing your core and you suddenly feel incredibly vulnerable, revealed, embarrassed. You attempt to squeeze them together, but the Alpha growls and spreads them apart again with his palms.

“Don’t,” he grunts, eyes burning with a fervent lust you’ve never seen before- you thought you never would see. You never believed someone could ever look so crazy for you, driven so primitive and animalistic by a hunger for your body’s reactions.

He suddenly delves into your cleft, tongue parting the sensitive tissues and plunging into your centre. Your hips jolt at the impact, an arm slamming against the back of the couch to grip onto the pillow as you struggle away, but his hold doesn’t relent, face still buried shamelessly in your centre.

“Stop moving,” he growls again, diving into the slick flesh with his velvet tongue gently pulsing against your clit to make your back arch and hips churn. Your body yields to his every touch, rocking parallel to his movements as his hand descends to your inner thigh, and one digit gently presses into your core. You can’t think of anything but how good it feels for him to touch you, taste you, eat you  like his last meal. You could cry in pleasure, lost entirely to his silky touch, fundamentally possessive as he brings you closer to him.

“God,” you whine, teeth clamping over your lip to stop your squirming, your free hand now clutching the back of your mate’s hair to encourage his lubricious attention to your dripping centre. The finger gliding in and out of you with his sinful rocking makes you jerk suddenly, as it curls upwards to graze euphoria and the coil snaps in your stomach.

The waves of your climax rush over you in a scream-inducing, toe-curling orgasm that leaves you quaking violently, trembling as he continues to lap up your writhing cleft, tongue still thrusting against you and one finger stroking the sensitive bundle of flesh. It seems to drag on for an eternity, rolling through you relentlessly and vibrating you both as the tears spill unwilling from your eyes down your temples.

“Enough, enough,” you whimper, pushing his head back with your hands as he thankfully retreats, leaving the pink, swollen core bare and exposed to him; he’s never seen something so fucking salacious in his life, and if he could he’d carry on eating you till you physically couldn’t take anymore, unable to stand and sore the next morning. He wants to devour you.

As he pulls your pants back up your legs, you begin to come around, catching your breath and wetting your lips to see the raging boner beneath his jeans, looking somewhat painful to endure. You still feel a little high from your climax, and with a gentle pursing of your lips you lean forwards to the belt of hi jeans, but he stops you immediately. You frown, a little muddled as to why you can’t touch him.

“But- but,” you fumble over the words, “You- I didn’t-“

He smiles and interrupts you with another kiss, hands curling possessively around you bare waist to hold your form beneath him, “Baby, the second you put your hands on me like that I’ll lose it. And seeing you like that was enough for me to remember for later.” He winks and you bring your hands up to cover your face with an embarrassed groan, curling into his chest, vibrating with laughter. You’re crazy for him.

previous / next / masterlist

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #232

“i’ve never bought a suit before in my life, but when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.”

Do you have trouble typing when the room is dark? No, I don't look at the keyboard. When’s the last time you had a headache? I had an abomination of a three-day-long headache before my cycle like a week or two back or something. How often do you take surveys? Not as much as I used to now that I actually have school, but occasionally. What did you last write on paper? I think some items to Mom's shopping list? Does anything on your body hurt? No. What do you currently hear? "Bullet" by Hollywood Undead. I can hear cars outside, as well as Bentley biting himself incessantly. Sounds gross. Do you have any goals you’re trying to fulfill? As for in the near future, hopefully - I'd pray if I believed in it by this point - start losing weight again. Grow more in my photography, 1.) because I want this so badly and 2.) there's no way I could handle the stress of school and a "real" job but we're in serious need of money right now. I'd really like to make progress with driving too, but I haven't been able to in months because a headlight in broken, the license plate or whatever is expired, and the car can't pass inspection, so Mom doesn't want me at the steering wheel and get pulled over for it. Being on the borderline poverty line is A BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you ever do the dishes? I'mma be real, real honest here. Not really. Reason being we don't have a dishwasher and I am super queasy actually hand-cleaning dirty dishes, I get frustrated because I feel I don't clean them well enough (being a germaphobe is also fun), and my OCD goes absolutely insane trying to play Tetris with the drying rack thingy. All that being said, it's my least-favorite chore. At your house, does everyone eat together as a family? No. We started to drift apart when I was... maybe a pre-teen? When did you last have butterflies in your stomach? Sara decided she wanted to try making out and I was fucking terrified of going too far or scaring her. Are you independent or dependent? I'm embarrassingly dependent. Who last made you smile? My pup. How did you find Bzoink? Taking surveys for so long. What’s your dream job? If travel and heat weren't considered, a meerkat biologist. Do you brush your teeth twice every day? Just once. Do you have a pool? No. Are the streetlights on? We don't have streetlights on my road. When you wear a hoodie, do you pull the sleeves over your hands? Not unless I'm really cold. Do you trust anyone, besides yourself, fully? Sara. I would say Mom, but I'm entirely aware she's lied and made stories up about Dad. Do you believe the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? No. I've never really understood this. People change. Are you in any advanced classes at school? I bypassed the freshman English class, yeah. Well, is that considered "advanced?" I don't believe it's like an AP course or anything, but it's not a class I'm supposed to be taking as a freshman, so??? How often do you eat your favorite food? Every once in a while. Have you ever fallen asleep on public transport? (including planes) Probably. What was the last TV show you watched? Uhhhh I think it was all the way back when Colleen and I were still friends and we checked out The Good Doctor. Or it was either Parks and Recreation with Sara and her family or Avatar: The Last Airbender, also with Sara. Where was the last place you went on vacation/holiday to? Who’d you go with? The beach with Colleen, her husband, and their son. Well, does that count since it was only for a day? Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don't have a job. What’s your favorite type of donut? It varies between chocolate frosted, glazed, and plain. What do you usually eat for breakfast? If I even eat, it'll probably be like, a meal replacement shake or Pop-Tart. Can you touch your toes without bending your knees? Surprisingly. When was the last time you went out for dinner? Like at a sit-down restaurant? Hm. I think it was El Tapatio with my mom and Nicole maybe near two months ago. What was the last thing you said to someone else in person? Idr, something to Mom. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. How many times do you call someone on the phone a week? Like zero, usually. Have you cooked anything today? What was it? No. Do you have a lot of cousins? What are their names? Yeah. I'm not sharing all their names on the Internet, and besides, I don't even know most. What does your shampoo smell like? I don’t know. What about the body wash or soap you’re using at the moment? I don't remember, even though I got out of the shower like an hour ago. Any movies you’ve seen recently that you’d recommend to me? No, I barely ever watch movies. Why did you last go see a doctor? The primary reason was for my night terrors. Do you know how to play Minesweeper? No. What was the last thing you bought online? A new heat lamp for my snake Venus. Where do you usually park your car? I don't have a car, but Mom parks in the driveway behind the house. Does your mail get delivered to your house or do you have to collect it? It's put in the mailbox on the other side of the road. Are you more logical or creative? Creative, I'd say. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Usually. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Pretty much never. Can you curl your tongue or do anything else cool with it? I can curl it a little bit, but my snake eyes piercing prevents me from doing it all that well. What was the last job interview you went to? For a deli position at a Food Lion. Got the job, lasted not even two hours. :^) What embarrassing music do you listen to? I'm not really *embarrassed* of any I listen to. Just kinda surprising to admit to some people sometimes. What’s your biggest talent? Writing, I guess? What’s the best gift you ever received? My dog. What fear would you like to overcome? More than ANYTHING? Probably being judged in a negative way or being seen as "weird," and not in a good way. AvPD is a bitch and makes me less open about myself (mostly just irl, but yeah), which I REALLY don't like. Would you rather ride in a hot air balloon or hang-glide? Hm, hang-glide, maybe. I dunno. What habit would you like to break? Procrastinating, lately. Describe the most romantic moment you’ve ever had. I can think of a few, but here's the one that had the most biggest effect on me, I think. There was one time Jason and I were kissing, I told him I loved him, and he whispered, "I love you too, wife," before going back to kissing me. Remembering that still hurts, a lot. I know now us separating was for the better, I don't want someone who doesn't have faith in my strength, just the memories like those from the time I was convinced our love story was a fairy tale are very painful. Just typing it caused a discomfort in my stomach. What’s your worst personality trait? Laziness, probably. Or impulsiveness. Have you ever cheated on a test? No. What’s your favorite karaoke song? I don't sing karaoke. Do you know anyone with two different colored eyes? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you bought for someone else? Sara's anniversary present, which was a pillow that said something along the lines of, "Hug this pillow until you can hug me" or something. Do you like hot fudge sundaes? My fat ass can't even associate with you if you don't like HOT FUDGE SUNDAES????????????? Do you like to sleep a lot? It's funny, I tend to like naps during the day, yet I don't look forward to trying to go to sleep at night. It always takes longer, and there's also the possibility of just waking back up and struggling to fall back asleep for the rest of the night. Is there a garbage can in the room you’re currently in? No. Have you ever been in a class that you thought you were too smart for? I don't think so. Can you type without looking at the keyboard? Yeah. We had a mandatory typing course in middle school, so I learned it exceptionally well. Have you ever been snorkeling? No. Who was the last person you apologized to? Maybe Sara? Do you throw things when you’re frustrated? NO. I am very conscious of not expressing my anger with physical violence of any sort. How much do you get paid at your current job? N/A Are your friends mostly older than you or younger than you? I think younger. Would you ever get a pet tarantula? Nah. Do you want to dye your hair? Ugh, you have no idea. What’s your favorite zoo animal? Meerkats, duh. Is there anything in your room you’d be ashamed to show to your parents? I'm VERY self-conscious of my artwork, so I'd be mortified if my mom saw my drawings, even though there's nothing "wrong" with them. I'm just shy about 'em. Have you ever accused someone of cheating when they weren’t? Yeah, hence the end of that day-long relationship. Him cheating was a lie from his insane ex, but at the time, I just believed it, but it was absolutely for the better. He wasn't for me. I really shoulda just listened when my art teacher literally took me aside one day and warned me about him. Wha'd'ya know, he wound up on house arrest or something similar, and who the hell knows what he's done by now. When was the last time you played hide and seek? I played with my niece and nephew some months ago. Don’t you hate when people stare at you? Fuckin' yes. I'm too self-conscious for that shit. Have you ever accidentally caught yourself on fire? Well thank god no. Are you Jewish? No. Does anyone copy the things you do? No. Is your dad still alive? Yes, yay. Have you done anything lately that you instantly felt was a mistake? Possibly. What melts your heart/makes your knees weak? Watching Mark with kids causes me severe physical pain. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. What are your views on spontaneous human combustion? Freaky. Parasite Eve first made me think "oh shit what if this could actually happen," and I've also watched a Shane Dawson video about it, and the idea of it possibly being a real thing is absolutely terrifying. How many dryer sheets do you put in an average load of laundry? I think Mom uses one or two? I dunno. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? No. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream. Do you have a sexual fantasy? ...What is it? There's probably something I could think up. Maybe like bang on a church pew or something lmao idk. Who was the last person to insult you? I'm not sure. What color is your brush/comb/whatever? White. Is it wicked hard for you to sleep when its hot in your room? It is almost entirely impossible. Have you ever purposely given someone wrong directions? No, but then again, it's not like I even give them. I have a horrible sense of direction and don't know street names, highway numbers and locations... What is your favorite thing to do with your best friend? I'm not sure. Everything is fun with her. Are you easily offended? It depends. In most contexts, no. Have you ever acted as tour guide for friends/relatives from out of town? Not really. If you were an anime character, would you be a yandere or a tsundere? HAHAHA I AM PAINFULLY A YANDERE. If you have glasses, do you get days when you don’t feel like wearing them? No, because I like to see. Have you ever played bingo at an actual bingo hall? No. Ha ha, this reminds me tho, I can't recall if he did it once or just WANTED to, but my brother may have gone into one, yelled "BINGO," and immediately left. Did your parents ever collect any magazines they didn’t want you to read? Uhhhh no. I'm quiiiiite sure neither of my parents had those. Have you ever pledged money to a Kickstarter and it reached its goal? No. I probably would if I had excess money and really believed in it, though. Is there a color combination that holds a significance to you? Because Jason's favorite thing in the world was the Joker, seeing purple and bright green together is one I just prefer not to see. I wouldn't call it a PTSD trigger, like I don't freak out about it, it's just like an "ugh ew" sorta thing. If you use Facebook, do you ever look at the Memories page? No. I cringe 90% of the time when they pop up. Do you have a drawer where you just throw some random stuff? No. Have you ever had to provide an alibi for something? No. What’s the funniest shirt that you own? I have a Batman one I'm trying to shrink back into that says something like "I wish I was Batman but I'm poor and hate fighting" & I love it. What is something you absolutely refuse to pay for? Idk off the top of my head. Has a stray/runaway cat or a dog ever followed you home? Cats, I think? If so, what did you do with it? Fed it with the other cats, and I'd assume Mom would've called the owner's number if given. If you could grow a beard or a mustache, would you? I'm a cisgender female so like... Is there a stranger you expect to see every day? No. What is something you take pride in? I'm proud of just how deeply and genuinely I care about people. And my writing and photography, mostly. What does the nicest dish set you own look like? All our dishes are literally the same, and they're ancient. I think they were my grandma's but given to Mom. Pattern's worn and everything. They're ceramic with a floral design. Why did you stop working at the last place you were employed? I absolutely cannot be in a position of responsibility or customer service, and the environment was way too busy. What would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? I... don't know how I would react? Picturing it, I first feel like I'd be so happy for him, but I KNOW my PTSD would act up at some point shortly after and I would probably end up in a bawling ball (lol "bowling ball" that wasn't intended sorry) because "that was supposed to be me," but then I'd be fine again after I got all that emotion out. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in front of you? Someone at school. You can smoke outside, and it's the one thing I don't like about my college. Are you very close to your siblings? Not nearly as close as I wish we were. How often do you watch the news? Never. Do you have a dishwasher? No. What is the worst lie you’ve ever told? I don't like talking about it. Well, it wasn't a lie, but I stretched the truth because anxiety's a goddamn asshole. Where is the last place you drove to? I drove to, probably home. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Lion King. I may even like the live-action remake more, but I can't say with certainty. Do you have a fan in your room? Yeah. What color is your lampshade? I don't have a lamp. Do you like to wear belts? Not anymore. What is the most expensive electronic in your room? This laptop. Only a year old and yet it's so abused with how much it's used. Are you involved with any charity work? I wish I was in the position where I could, anyway. Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? No. Have you ever hatched an egg? OKAY SO! I remember in elementary school, maybe like 1st grade or something, we incubated a chicken egg and hatched it. I can't remember where it went. Do you chew gum on a daily basis? No, I rarely do. What brand shampoo do you use? Suave. When is the last time you went to an amusement park? Years ago shortly before the breakup with Jason and Dillon. Or Dustin. Whatever his name was. Do you have a garden shed in your backyard? Nope. Are you obsessed with anything? Y'all know I don't know how to love in moderation, not even remotely. Do you prefer non-diet or diet soda? I hate diet, and the artificial sweetener also gives me serious headaches. Who was the last person you hugged? My mom, maybe? What did you do when you found out Michael Jackson died? We were swimming in the pool while Mom or Dad was grilling, idr. What’s your best friend’s favorite band? Pink Floyd, Evanescence, and Within Temptation. What’s your favorite kind of beer? Never tried it, don't want to. How do you get songs out of your head? Binge it 'til I'm tired of it lmao. Have you seen all the High School Musicals? I've only seen the first two. Do you dress appropriately for your age? I don't know? Probably not? Do "normal" 23-year-olds wear graphic tees? What’s your favorite word? "Serendipity." What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? A serious stomach virus that made me puke all the food I'd eaten since birth. Do you take compliments well? Of course I appreciate them, but I get shy. Are excessive piercings sexy or trashy? Well they're definitely not "trashy," but SERIOUSLY excessive ones, I don't usually find attractive. But it really depends on the person, the size, and where. What do you put on toast? Cinnamon, sugar, and butter. The Southern cinnamon toast. Have you ever watched Fear Factor? I LOVED it when I was younger, and I still enjoy it if I happen to see it. Joe Rogan was one of my earliest crushes, too. How many songs do you have on iTunes? Over 1k. What song reminds you of summer? MAN I remember as a kid, back when I liked country, my sisters and I loved "When The Sun Goes Down" by Kenny Chesney. Big summer vibes. Has a bird ever flown into your window? OH WOW I don't think so, but I do remember one flew into the car's grill when I was very young and going on a trip. Safe to say it died.

[ellerevelle]

okay so im feeling crazy and detached again (as usual lately)

but instead of spiraling into absolute fucking panic, I’m deciding to take today to just ... not wholly subscribe to this manner of thinking BUT. JUST FOR NOW. I feel like taking some of the craziness flack off myself and blaming it on some shit outside of myself. Because feeling this weird and detached cant all just be me. So here’s a brainstorming of whats got me fucked up, in no particular order: 

Trump is our stupid President

That guy who told me he loved me daily and asked me to be his girlfriend after basically living with me immediately after meeting me and I fell for hard despite a ton of red flags CHEATED on me while I was away visiting home. 

And then blamed it on MY bad communication? fuck that guy. 

But now I see one of the girls he slept with (multiple times, three days in a row) I see her everywhere all the time in everyones instagrams, at everyones parties... ugh. 

Um. People are dying. Close to me. More importantly and spefcifically women I love are dead. 

I didnt get to see Inga before she died. I was too busy forging a relationship with CHEATER GUY. Didnt get home in time to see her. Talk to her. 

Grandma. This has been the whole first year without her, come November. Its subtle, but terrible and I hate it. She was my last matriarch. The last woman who’s blood is in me. 

because Mom’s dead too. And has been since August of 2015. 2015, right? God it feels like forever ago now, probably because I’ve pushed it away. She died unexpectedly and NO ONE IN MY FAMILY HAS SAID THE WORD SUICIDE OUT LOUD even though thats what happened. She OD’d on prescribed opiate painkillers to escape her depression. And we NEVER talk about it. 

So I kindof feel insane. Not talking about things that are clearly there. Like, are they not clearly there for anybody else? Now all my women are gone. My brother literally avoids talking about feelings. My dad is a little more receptive but is more the comforting type than the forthcoming, express onesself type. Getting sentimentality out of my brother is like pulling teeth sometimes. But yet if his son does something cute, its God’s Work and he cant help but cry and get that beautiful lovie squishy look on his face. 

I’m jealous of my own nephew. I see the way my Mom loved me, in the way my Brother loves his son. And I miss being that perfect to somebody. My Dad loves me forever and always and there isnt a word for how grateful I feel for our relationship. I dont take that for granted at all. It actually kindof scares me because... hah, well what if Dad dies? Like, before I’m ready? I’ll be even MORE fucked! 

Anyways. Austins been pissing me off. I’m sorry but although Polyamory is possible and cool and im sure quite beautiful for many, 

The Austin poly scene is fucked and tainted and a bunch of slutty people having orgies and not TALKING about anything and its ruining the healthy vibe poly is incumbent upon. 

So, whatever I’m angry. So fuck that noise. 

I feel like because of cheater guy and my anger at the psuedo poly orgy sexy bullshit scene in Austin, I feel like I’ve broken up with a whole group of friends. Like, I dont want to be around any of it. I dont want to see you eat mushrooms and twerk. I dont want to see your stupid, super naked outfit. I dont think its hot you carry a flogger or can pole dance or slink around like a tarantino character. It used to be hot and thrilling and fun, when I felt like it was connected and for love and sharing and caring. But now it all just is slutty and vapid and useless and cold. Like a sad clown. And thats not sexy, its dark and desperate. *this is about both VERY particular people and broad general strokes. There are several extremely amazing friends in the scene and outskirts thereof that truly inspire me and dont fall into this catagory in my mind, although they’d probably still be angry with me for dissing things ^^ the way I just did but. fuck it, this is MY journal entry and I can be irrational if I want to. 

You cant be open fucking minded ALL the time. Sometimes people really arent acting with anyones best intentions but their own. I’ve used up SO MUCH FUCKING ENERGY making myself soften and open and “woke” and trying to go with everybodys flow. And I’m exhausted and over it. I have my own principles and theres nothing wrong with having differing opinions than someone else. 

All summer I’ve been feeling like I’m a bad person for not liking or not understanding this hyper sexual scene in Austin. I thought, “why am I shaming a scene thats giving me opportunity to really shine and be free?” when, in an IDEAL world, yes thats what the scene could be. But in what actually fucking unfolds -- humans SUCK and dudes SUCK and girls SUCK and everybody (especially when horny) are fucking STUUUUPIIIIIDDDD and ideals get thrown out the window! people arent nearly as “woke” as I gave them the actual credit for. Seriously. So! I’m fuckin OUTTIE! 

I’ve felt broken up with a whole scene. FUck cheater guy, fuck poly, fuck orgies, fuck people who are reckless with my love. 

Back to the list:

I’ve been eating too much out of boredom. Which I’ll blame on lack of quality social interaction in this town. Where are the scholars? Where are the sexy edgy BRAINY people? I’m tired of hot people in little clothing in the summer. 

Ah! Another thing for the list. its been TOO FUCKING HOT OUT. FOR MONTHS. 100 DEGREES FOR MONTHS. thats enough to make anyone insane. 

So i’m sick of teenie boppers in their nothing outfits in the heat. 

I want old smart people in peacoats. I miss books and weather and frowns. Irritable debates about literature or physics or religious theories. 

I only like my own brand of cigarettes. 

My roommates are annoying me. I dont really like my house anymore. Theres too many humans and not enough square footage. Four people to one kitchen is TOO MUCH SHIT. EVERYONE BUYS THEIR OWN BANANAS AND THEY ALLLLLL GO BROWN ON THE TABLE. thats four peoples worth of bad bananas. FUcking stupid. 

I dont have a hairdresser here. Sometimes when I feel shitty I like to throw money at the problem. Buy something. Get a haircut. See a show. Etc. 

And my hairdresser love is in Philadelphia and getting a flight to get a haircut is slightly insane (without a longer visit)

I miss Adam. 

What else can I blame my upset on. Shitty politics, shitty weather, shitty social sexual scene in my town, I dont like my house, I dont like my hair. Its too expensive to live here. No one in my immediate acquaintance or friend circle seems interested in the sort of romantic relationship I’m seeking, nor if they did does anyone have the “it” factor I look for which I’ll *try* to describe maybe in another post. 

So. I sit inside my room and try to fix stupid remedial things as if itd make a big impact. I tidy and put away clothes in attempt to feel less cluttered but am too scared to make BIG cuts and BIG changes. So instead I light insence and watch netflix and eat too much. I have started going to Barre3 again more and have been semi regular with therapy so thats something. 

I really ought to start doing “morning pages” like the book Fiona loaned me suggests in its FIRST GODDAMN CHAPTER. But, alas, I am lazy. 

No, I have become recently lazy. 

I’m spoiled. I dont do things I dont want to do. Its a major character flaw. I only push and struggle if I see worthyness in it, and lately theres been serious lack of evidence of that in, well, anything.

 #depression! 

so, I guess in summation- because nothing has been a WORTHWHILE struggle, EVERYTHING feels like a struggle. Humph. thats... thats not good. But it does, because i dont see the worth in a lot of goals or tasks or even relationships, (and i dont mean the greedy “what can I GET for ME out of this!” sort of b.s.) (I mean the... conserve precious energy, is this going to teach me something or help me grow as a person or bring love into my life sort of vibe) ...

when I dont think the energy expenditure is going to pay off, I dont do it. Or I do it half way or lazily or with tentative fear. I guess I could do an experiment and just do everything with HOPE and see if my energy put in will get a different result... but. like. I feel like I did that all summer and he cheated on me. And my “friends” said “dont be angry, be poly” and I couldnt call on my Mom or Grandma and so I call on eating and isolation and running away to visit home where no one cares I dont have a job. where the house is big and the air is cold and my friends are smart. 

I really miss Kristian. That was one of the greatest feelings of self love in my entire life. I felt like, if someone that special noticed ME. Saw ME. Little old, semi chubby, not famous ME, and wanted me around for a couple tour dates. Then I ought to believe in myself TOO. I wanted to dance, I wanted to make art, I wanted to take photos, I wanted to be bold, I wanted to be humble, I felt so open and content with myself. I was motivated to work out, I was motivated to eat healthy and clean and small portions. It was easy. It felt so fun. I loved him. I dreamt big. My imagination was so warm and excited. My inner critic was GONE. 

But he faded away. He got back with his ex. The shooting star left the sky. I’m still grateful for the experience at all, but. 

I feel a little stupid for thinking anything could’ve happened. 

And I truly miss feeling so special and excited about life. 

I dont want to run away from Austin out of fear. But I cant tell if I’m unhappy and want to leave genuinely, or if this is the spoiled part of me thats like, “this sucks, lets leave.” instead of pushing though, curating something better with some struggle, and sticking it out. 

How do people make big life decisions like this? I feel like thats what marriages do. People stay together and fight. But sometimes they get divorced anyways, its just been longer. More years wasted. When maybe it wouldve been healthier to leave sooner and cut the cord and be free to live without, sooner. 

I really like a lot of things about this city. But I really dislike a lot too. And I cant tell where I want my life to go, in a grand sense, so its hard to pick which attributes will matter in the long run. 

I dont think I should leave yet. Maybe a new house. Or like, serious efforts to declutter this one. Is this just excuses? Ugh. 

Declutter this house. If that doesnt feel better, leave the house and move to a new part of austin. If that doesnt feel better, leave austin. 

I need a job. 

[scornedlove]

Chapter Fourteen

ROBYN

Why didn’t I just die? I thought to myself as I stared at the ceiling. It was 2am and I couldn’t sleep. I hated nights like these. I had a couple of glasses of wine and smoked couple of blunts with Rorrey and Le. Mel asked Rorrey to perform at her New Year’s Eve party so he and Le were staying with me for a few weeks, before heading North. It was nice having them around. I miss my brother, so their company was always welcome.  

The wine and weed together usually helps me sleep, but tonight I was high and tipsy, thinking about the car accident that redirected my life. I was supposed to be a mother right now and on nights like these I drowned myself in pity.

Just think of the bright side, now I don’t have to forever be attached to the lying cheater who got me pregnant in the first place…. No matter how much I still love him.

I missed Chris like crazy. I missed his goofiness more than anything. I missed the times he would do or say something silly just to make me laugh, but most of all I missed his friendship.  

The last year or so was more than enough to drive anyone crazy but the two and a half years we were together without the drama was everything I ever wanted.

Suddenly I had the urge to contact him. It’s been over six months since I even considered reaching out to him, but I was curious. I grabbed my phone and dialed the last number I knew of his. My face got hot with anticipation, so I hung up before it could ring. I’ll just start with a text. I decided with a sigh. After typing and deleting several things, I decided on something simple.  

Hey, this is Robyn. Just wanted to see how you’re doing these days.  

I stared at my phone, hoping for a quick reply. After a few minutes, I decided to get up and do something productive since I was up anyway. I cleaned out my fridge, did a load of laundry, and started to go through the stack of mail I had been avoiding since I got back.

I was scanning the pile, sorting the bills from the advertisement when a pretty, lacy envelope fell to the floor. I opened it carefully and a smile crept across my face as I read.

They decided to do it anyway I smiled, remembering the last conversation I had with Nikki. She said it would probably be years before they actually walked down the aisle, guess she was wrong.

I paid the bills I could online then found myself shopping. I bought myself a new bag and a couple of pairs of boots. Finally, I felt asleep approaching so I laid down.

The minute my head hit the pillow, I heard a soft tapping noise, and quickly sat back up.  

“Oh, it’s just you” I relaxed as Ollie jumped into my bed. He snores pretty loud so I usually kick him out, but tonight I needed his cuddles.  

“How’d you know I needed some kisses?” I asked, as he kissed me on my cheeks and hands until we both passed out.

“The last day of this sorry ass year” I huffed, as I hit snooze on my alarm.  It took me so long to fall asleep that I probably would’ve been better off staying up all night. Then I remembered the text. He never responded.  

“Is he gonna be an asshole for the rest of his life?” I muttered to myself, dialing his number. This time I was prepared to give him a piece of my mind.

“Hello” Kate’s familiar voice answered after the third ring.

“What the fuck!” I groaned. I’d hung up so fast, she barely even got the whole word out.  

Why didn’t I realize they were probably still together…a happy lil family?”

Now I remembered why I forced him out of my mind to begin with. He’s with HER. That was just the confirmation I needed to let go of the past.

“YOU KILLED THE FUCKIN STAGE” I yelled, slapping hands with Rorrey. He performed two songs, opening the act for an up and coming artist from England, named Ryan. He definitely had the crowd warmed up for her.

“Just wait until I get in the studio” he grinned excitedly. We took shots and I started to let loose.  

I realized I’d been stressed out over so much and for once I needed to let go. I found myself on the dance floor and after a few songs of dancing on any and everybody in my way, I knew the liquor was hitting me hard because I felt like I was being watched.  

I looked up and could’ve sworn I saw Chris, but when my eyes focused, I realized it was Matt.

“You tryna have a repeat of last year?” he asked with a smirk.

“Hell nah, you bad luck. I had a fucked up year after that kiss” I laughed, overly obnoxious.

“Well my year was great. I think you’re my good luck charm” he winked.  

I started to ease my way out of the crowd, to get as far away from him as possible, when someone stepped on my foot. Before I could stop myself, I shoved the man in front of me and he instantly pushed me back, only he was twice as rough with me and shoved me into someone else, whose drink spilled on me.

“Are you ok?” He asked helping me out of the crowd. I was fuming with rage as I fought back tears.  

“No, I’m not fucking ok” I yelled in frustration.

“Whoa, I’m not the one who pushed you” Dre frowned, clearly offended. It took me a minute to recognize him.

“Dre!” I smiled giving him a hug. As his scent filled my nostrils, I was reminded of the last time we’d spoke (which was the day before my wedding that never happened) and I started to feel uneasy.

“I figured I would run into you here, but not literally” He joked at the wrong time. I was wet and irritated so I couldn’t help but give him an evil glare.  

“I saw Mel and knew you couldn’t be too far” He explained, taking off his jacket and placing it around my shoulders.  

“Thanks” I replied, gladly taking it.

“If you don’t mind me asking, where is your husband?” He asked looking around nervously.

“You know what, fuck you!” I cursed him and took off. My blood was boiling and it took a lot out of me not to slap him. I went to the bathroom and grabbed a few paper towels and patted my shirt, which was useless considering it was a white T.

“Robyn? Hey girl!” Lala smiled, giving me a quick hug. ” This is Chris’s ex I was telling you about” she announced to the girl behind her.

“Ooh, I love those boots!” the other girl smiled.

“Thanks how you been, where’s Trey?” I asked, giving up on my shirt and tossing the paper towels in the trash.

“He’s out there acting a fool. It's too packed in here and these hoes are disrespectful. They wanna dance all on your man and shit” she shook her head. “Matter of fact, let me get back out there before I have to be a bitch’s ass. It was good seeing you though” she called over her shoulder.  

When I walked out the restroom, Dre was standing nearby, obviously waiting for me. It was hard not to feel guilty for my attitude with his soft eyes locked on me.

“I’m sorry you probably didn’t even know” I sighed with realization. We hung around mutual people occasionally but maybe the topic never came up.  

“What happened?” Dre asked, confused when I held up my hand to show him the bare finger that once held that beautiful princess cut diamond.

“It doesn’t matter” I shrugged walking off. If Trey was here, there was a pretty good chance that Chris was too. I wanted to make it back to our section which had a pretty good view of the crowd, maybe I could spot them.  

After 10 minutes of searching the crowd, I found Trey and Lala but Chris was nowhere to be found.  

He’s probably at home with his family I assumed and my spirits dropped. Fuck him. I was here to support Mel and Rorrey, and considering Rorrey’s performance was over and Mel’s party was packed, my time was served. I was ready to get wasted, then beat the crowd getting out.

I looked at my watch, five minutes left this year. Good I’m out right after I decided.  

“You bored?” Dre asked, appearing behind me.

“I’m good” I muttered, taking the glass that was in his hand and tossing it back.

“Water? Why am I not surprised? You always playing it safe. Don’t you ever take risks?” I slurred, shaking my head. He answered me by pulling me into a kiss.  

I wanted to pull back but when he slipped his tongue in my mouth, I wanted more. It had been so long since I felt so much passion. I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer and that only intensified it.  

Before I knew it, everyone began to count down to the next year, and when they got to zero, he pulled away to say Happy New Year.

What have I done? I groaned, slapping my forehead. Not only did I have sex with Dre, I also stayed the night. I came back to his place to catch up. I told him about the wedding I ditched and the baby I lost and he told me about his new life being stress free. Apparently, he was enjoying being a bachelor and focusing on his career. One thing led to another and we had wild, passionate sex on his balcony, sofa, and bed.

I turned my head ever so slightly to see if he was awake and almost had a heart attack when he started to snore. Thank God I sighed, relaxing and easing out the bed. I grabbed my clothes and boots and slipped out unnoticed.

“Bitch!! You got some last night, didn’t you? “Paige asked, interrupting my thoughts. I couldn’t believe last night actually happened, my whole morning was thrown off because I was off in lala land.

“Huh?” I asked dumbfounded.  

“Don’t play dumb, we all saw that kiss last night” she teased. Instantly, I could feel my face get hot with embarrassment.  

“Caught red handed” Jenn giggled, adding in her two cents.  

“A lady never kisses and tells” I winked and Frankie gave me a high five.  

“I’ve taught you well” he clapped and we all roared with laughter. I was even more embarrassed when Dre showed up at noon with my purse and some food.

“Well at least we know you put it on him” Paige whispered when she saw him walking in.  

“I tried calling you, but your phone was going to voicemail. I thought you might need this” he stated handing me my bag. Do you have time to eat with me?” Truth was, I turned my phone off so I could put this conversation off as long as possible, but he was here now so, there was no use in avoiding it.  

“What’d you bring?” I asked when we were upstairs. I'd changed my old apartment to a break area for the staff and used it for storage now.  

“Burgers and Fries” he replied handing me mine, then settling down to eat his.

“How long are you planning on avoiding talking about this” he asked bluntly. We were eating in complete silence, waiting for the other one to speak first.

“I’m not avoiding anything” I lied. “It was just sex, it’s not a big deal”

“Why did you leave before waking me up?" he asked, ignoring my statement.

“I had to work early. I didn’t want to wake you” I replied nonchalantly.

“So, it was better to wake Melanie and have her drive across town to come get you?”

“I took a cab”  

“Why would you do that? I could have taken you home.”

“Relax I take them all the time. It’s no biggie” I shrugged, tossing my last fry in my mouth, then reaching over to grab a couple of his.

“If that’s the case, you need a driver. It’s much safer, there are weirdos out there” he pointed out.  

“I guess I never really thought about that” I replied, realizing he was right. I hadn’t drove since the accident because I always use Mel or a taxi. It would be much smarter to hire a driver.

“So, you didn’t sneak out because you were regretting last night?” he asked, getting to his real concern.  

“No. I enjoyed last night” I whispered. “It’s been a long time for me and last night was a much-needed release”  

“Then what are we doing here?”

I had fun. If you did too, we should just keep having fun” I shrugged as he nodded in agreement.

“I want to have fun right now” he whispered, slipping his hand up my skirt, and sending chills up my spine.

CHRIS

The last ten days were straight bullshit. I couldn’t believe I was arrested for something I didn’t do. If I weren’t mad enough to kill Michelle before, I definitely was now.

Turns out she had blackmailed mama for money, art, and jewelry. On top of that, they had footage of my vehicle parked near her home the last day she was seen. I was in jail with no bond because I was at flight risk, until my lawyer proved Michelle was still alive the next night.

He found a video of her on Facebook. She was on the pole upside down, but it was definitely her. Her desperate need for attention had finally paid off.  

“I don’t understand how this got so far” Mama stated, breaking the silence. She’d come to take me home and after learning about all that she had given Michelle, I wasn’t all that excited to see her. I wanted to say she’s the one who let it get this far, but I held my tongue. I wasn’t trying to get popped in the head.

“I’m just glad this is over with and they can finally stop harassing me” I exhaled. I was glad mama came, but I wasn’t interested in the lecturing I knew I was going to get.

“Oh, and Kate was really helpful” she stated with a side eye. I had completely forgotten about that situation.  

“Yeah, she’s gonna be staying with me for a little while” I revealed. I didn’t expect to have to explain this to mama.  

“I hope you know what you’re doing with this girl. She’s already put you in some bad situations, just like Michelle did. You need to be more careful with these women and quit leading them on" she warned, and I realized she was right.  

“I’m just trying to do the right thing for a friend, like you taught me” I explained. I had absolutely no desire to be in a relationship, especially with K.

“How has Robyn been?” she asked unexpectedly. “That’s what you should be worried about. I ran into her a few months ago and she had lost a lot of weight. Poor thing is probably so depressed” she stated sadly.  

“Mama, I tried reaching out to her, she wants nothing to do with me” I replied feeling helpless. After the past week I was not interested in any other negative news. I had plenty of time to think while I was sitting in the cell. My mind needed a break, so instead of responding, I let my mom ramble on for the rest of the ride.

“Thanks for helping me out with Diamond” was the first thing I said to Kate. I swear Diamond was twice as fat now, then when I left.

“Of course, she kept me company” she smiled, making eye contact.  

“What?” I asked, when she continued to stare.

“Do you not want to talk about the fact that you were just arrested?” she asked. I was a little irritated that she would be all in my business, so I shook my head.  

“Well it’s just… the other day you said you could take care of Ty…did you have someone else taken care of?” she asked, fearful of my answer.

“No, I was wrongfully arrested, which is why I’m out now” I defended myself. Everybody wanted to talk about this, when I preferred to leave it in last year. It was New Year’s Day and I was free, I just wanted to eat a good meal and relax.

“Oh” she nodded. “Well I’ve been working from your office. I rescheduled your meetings, classes, and events for the past week but that means you’ll be super busy for the rest of this month” she informed me and I nodded.  

“Thanks. I’m sorry for the attitude, it’s just been a long week” I apologized, feeling guilty when I realized she was only trying to help.

“It’s ok. I’m on your team” she winked.

The next few weeks were busy as promised. I was barely even home. The past few nights I stayed at the studio, while working on a new painting, so when I came home to pancakes in the shape of a heart and Kate cooking in nothing but one of my shirts, I was highly confused.

“Happy Valentine’s Day” she grinned. “I didn’t know if you’d be here today or not but I made breakfast for two”

Before I had a chance to respond, my stomach growled. The food smelled great, plus I had been working so hard that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast yesterday, so I gladly accepted. I wolfed down my food while K bragged about a daycare she’d found for Cindy.

“I was hoping you could help me out on the first month’s bill" she pleaded. I swear every time I turn around, she was asking for something. Well, I was not in the mood for anymore favors, I guess she picked the wrong day.

“I hate to disappoint you, but I can’t give you any more money” I replied, dropping my fork. “I’m going to have to draw the line. You’re taking advantage of my kindness and you know what? I don’t blame you because everything you’ve asked for, I’ve always said yes. I love ya’ll and all but I’m going to give you thirty days to figure your shit out. I’m putting the house on the market.” I announced, getting up from the table.  

I was barely here anymore and it wasn’t like I had a family, so it was only logical. This house didn’t make me happy anymore, it held too many memories, and it was kind of depressing. I think it was her being in Robyn’s favorite shirt of mine that had me feeling some type of way. It meant she was going through my things and invading my privacy while I was gone.  

I expected her to go into apology mode and beg to stay, but she didn’t even respond. Just stared at me wide-eyed for moment before nodding.

I went back to the studio to gather the paintings that were ready to hit the gallery when I ran across the painting I done of Robyn last Valentine’s Day.

I ran my fingers over it, remembering everything that had happened that day. We fought that morning and made up that night. She never even got to see the finished product.

What better day then today? I asked myself, loading it up with the rest of the art I was taking. I made it to Robyn’s boutique before I could talk myself out of it. I was going to try and steal a moment with her, but she wasn’t in. My timing was never good. I decided to leave it with a note, letting her know that after all this time, she was still on my mind.

I told myself I was just going to show up for my bro and chill for a little while, then go home and crawl  in my bed. Trey had finally proposed to Lala, after 6 months of carrying around the ring, so here I was at their engagement party. It’s not that I wasn’t happy for my boy I was geeked for him, but I was exhausted. I just finished helping K pack and move her and Cindy’s, things including the brand-new furniture I had no use for. She decided to move back in with her parents while she continued to save more money, so I was happy to be done with that situation. “-And here is the best man” Trey announced, approaching me with a woman I had never seen before. “Chris, this is Shontae, Shontae-Chris" 

“Nice to meet you” I nodded, shaking her hand.  

“Good to finally meet you too” she grinned.

“Shonte is the maid of honor” Trey explained “Really? I guess I just assumed that would be Lexi” “Well she asked Lexi first but she be declined, I guess she’s going to be doing the catering so she doesn’t want to be overwhelmed.” Shontae responded. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m still honored. She is one of my best friends so anything for the bride-to-be” 

“Why haven’t I met you before?” I asked intrigued. She was cute with her little country accent and it was hard not to notice her banging body.

“I’m from Texas. Lala and I went to high school together” she replied. “But I’ve heard quite a bit about you” she smiled shaking my hand.

“Good things I hope” I replied a little surprised, but not much. I know how women like to gossip so there's no telling what she’d heard. 

“Well I've been a fan of your art for some time now, I just wasn't aware of how attractive you are” she smiled, biting her full bottom lip.

“You're not too shabby yourself” I winked. 

“You should give her a tour at both of your galleries” Trey suggested, with a nudge. It was obvious he was trying to hook us up.

“I'd love that. I'm here for a few days figuring out the wedding stuff anyway. Would you mind?” she asked excitedly. 

“I'm sure I can make something happen” I smirked. We exchanged numbers and she promised she would be calling soon. 

“I see what you did there” I stated, punching Trey in the arm as soon as she was out of sight.

“She cute huh?” he laughed, waiting my approval.

“Yeah, she is fine, but don’t be trying to hook me up. Especially with Lala’s friends. She’s crazy so I know they are too” I laughed.

“You just need some fun. It’s obvious that all that Robyn shit fucked you up. You gotta get back to your old self, and why not start now....with her?” he asked with a smirk. I knew he was right, but I wasn’t interested in courting any women or starting something new, so all I could do was nod.

I was literally on my way out the door when I was stopped by Lexi. “Chris” she yelled, trying to catch up to me. “Where you headed?”

“I have some stuff to take care of. Why? What's up?” I asked curiously.

“Nothing, I was hoping we could hang out after this, but I guess you have stuff to do” she rolled her eyes and started to walk off, then stopped in her tracks. “You know, you could have just kept it real with me” she blurted.

“Girl what are you talkin about?” I sighed. I swear women are always in their feelings.

“Well I used to think you were just going through the motions and hoping to get back with Robyn, but after meeting her and seeing her new boo, I know that couldn't be the case. You could have just told me you're not interested, no hard feelings” she shrugged and continued walking off, leaving me confused.

I wanted to not feel affected after hearing that but I was. I knew I had no right to be upset, she’s made it clear she's done with me. I just couldn’t accept it.  I thought maybe if I gave her some time and space, she would eventually reach out to me. After hearing the possibility of someone new in her life, I realized I should at least give it one more shot. I had to think of a way to win her back before it was too late.

[arttrampbelle]

List of people i can't stand.

Warning vent ahead. I'm not holding back.

Pretentious douches. Those i am laughing at you behind your back type bitches.

Militant and pretentious vegans. You know the white becky kale salad i wanna save the cows type vegan. I actually am cool with vegans and vegetarians. mostly ones that do it for financial or dietary reasons. Not save the whales type reasons. Because sometimes they come off as toxic. That was just my experiences tho. People tryin to tell people what to eat and how to live their lives. Like bitch if you dont. I mean as long as people stay in their lane and do their research and are healthy bout it. Its all cool. I don't honestly care. But i hate the pretentious douchey vegans and vegetarians.

Which leads me into, i hate the people who tell others how to live their lives. Like i know me better than anyone else. Im living the way i want to. Eatin and doing what i wish. I live life for me ,not you or society or any other bitch on this blue fuckball of a planet we call earth.

People who take advantage of others kindness. Unfortunately im a victim to this. Sadly. People take my kindness for granted a lot. And they wonder why im bitchy a lot of the times.

Gossiping,snake hoes. I met people like this unfortunately. I dont mind tea spillled as long as everyone stays in their lane.

Others who dont stay in their lane.

Immature butthurt fangirls

Rabid yaoi fangirls

Rabid fangirls in general

Know it all jackasses

People who do shit for clout

Cheaters

Racists of any kind

Sexists of any kind

Toxic masculinity period

Biphobic assholes

Homophobic assholes

Transphobic assholes

Heavily bigoted religious people and groups

Hate groups of any kind

Parents who just can't fuckin parent

Government. Period.

Ungrateful people

Rapists

Pedos

People who don't know jack shit bout a fan topic or a franchise but act like they are a know it all.

The so called president. Fuck trump. Sorry. Get mad. I hate him.

People who say fuck shit bout veterans and people who served. Tho im anti war. Im not anti warriors and soldiers.

People who say fuck shit bout my friends and family and loved ones.

People who hurt kids. Period.

People who don't respect women

People who hate on other for not agreeing with them. Like fuck you.

People not understanding i just don't care bout your bullshit.

Toxic fandoms and communities.

Certain people i thought were friends and cool but turned out to be completely twatwaffles and dickwads.

I could go on. But you get the general idea.

[rainythefox]

Two Sons (Detroit: Become Human fanfiction. Happy Birthday Hank Anderson!)

Two Sons

Disclaimer: I do not own Detroit: Become Human, yadda yadda yadda...now onto a short oneshot dedicated to Hank Anderson for his birthday! Enjoy!

September 6th, 2039 – 4:21 P.M

The bullpen was a mess of activity. Officers and detectives worked at their desks, typing on their terminals or taking calls. Phones constantly rang, voices shouted back and forth, and bodies weaved through desks in a relentless habitat.

Lieutenant Hank Anderson could hardly focus on his work. Today was busier than usual it seemed, and he swore he cursed at Gavin to shut the fuck up at least three times within the last hour. He was tempted to put some headphones in. He might could get more done with heavy metal blasting his eardrums than the constant hum of the police department in the background.

It had been a usual Tuesday, not like Connor or Hank had weekends off or anything, their shifts changed by the week. The fact it was his birthday played no importance either. Connor suggested taking the day off to "celebrate", but Hank told his partner he hadn't taken a day off for a birthday in twenty years. To him, it was just another day.

Hank took a sip of coffee, shifting his position in his seat as he typed up the case report for a crime scene they had just returned from. He glanced up at Connor, who sat at the connecting desk across from Hank. With a huff of breath, he wasn't surprised to see the RK800 staring off into space again.

Hank had no clue why, but Connor had been acting strange for the past few weeks. He was easily side-tracked, lost focus during investigations, and hadn't been as talkative. It was very much unlike the partner, friend, and son figure he had come to know over the past ten months. Connor would leave as soon as they were off work and not show up back home until late at night.

Hank didn't mind that, he knew Connor deserved his own life, and that included a social life with friends like Markus and his crew at Jericho. But Connor had always made sure to make time with Hank. The android detective was particular with making sure Hank was always okay, even to the point that Hank called him a nanny at times. Connor wouldn't take it as an insult though.

Hank figured Connor was coming into his own, now that he had been a deviant this long, he was grasping life without being on a leash with coding. It shouldn't had come as a surprise to Hank when Connor starting taking off more and more on his own.

The lieutenant was happy for his partner. Although, he did start to feel that all too familiar ache within his soul, an ache he had carried for so many years. Connor had healed it, but the past few weeks, it had eddied back within him, and well, he wasn't as prepared for it as he thought he should have.

Loneliness.

Hank shook out of his thoughts and his feelings. He was being selfish, really. Connor had got up early and made him breakfast before work, wishing him a warm and happy 54th birthday.

Connor was still distracted. Hell, Hank was starting to worry that something was actually wrong with his partner. Squinting an eyebrow at him, he picked up a paper clip and tossed it at the RK800. The clip flicked Connor right above the eyebrow, making his LED flash yellow briefly as Connor became aware again. He looked over at Hank, giving a small smile.

"Yes, Hank?"

"You're doing it again."

Connor became self-conscious, eyes flicking around him before they returned to Hank. "W-what?"

"Zoning out. You've been distracted all day! What's wrong?"

"Oh. Sorry. Just have…a lot on my mind."

Hank pointed at him. "That's fine and all, but we're working. I need you focused. Can we get these case reports filed so we can get the fuck outta here?"

Connor nodded. "Sure thing. I apologize, Hank."

"It's fine, Con. Just…stop worrying me so much."

"Hank, I do have a question."

"Hmm?"

Connor looked around, looking puzzled. "No one else has said happy birthday to you all day. Do they not know? Even for as long as you've been here?"

Hank chuckled, waving him off. "Nah, they just know I hate birthdays, err, well mine. I…uhh…kinda went off on them the year after…Cole died. Guess it stuck then…"

Hank trailed off, clearing his throat. He got back to work. He felt Connor's eyes on him for a bit longer before the RK800 started working on his computer. The two partners were quiet for nearly an hour, finishing up their case notes. Connor finished first, only because he directly uploaded his report processed from his memory onto his terminal.

"Fuckin' cheater," Hank muttered.

Connor grinned, and it brightened Hank's mood. "It's not cheating. It's a perk."

Hank shook his head with a smile and finished up. After shutting down their terminals and collecting their things, Hank tossed Connor the car keys. His partner caught them with deft hands, the two walking out of the bullpen and station side by side.

One thing Hank was happy about in the ten months that had passed since Markus's peaceful demonstration and the foundation of android rights was that Connor didn't have to wear that ridiculous suit anymore. It had taken the lieutenant some convincing, but now Connor enjoyed wearing normal clothes. He still did prefer a suit, like the dark one he wore today, probably from old programming habits. Now if only Hank could get that LED off his temple…

They got into Hank's 80s model Buick LeSabre, and Connor drove them towards home. They were quiet for a while. Hank could tell that Connor was distracted again. What the hell had his dear friend so preoccupied?

"What's on your mind, son?"

Hank watched the RK800 as he drove, once again saw his LED flash yellow then blink back to blue. Connor glanced at the lieutenant, then back at the road.

"Well…since you are inquiring…" Connor tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "Are you sure you do not wish do to anything for your birthday? Anything at all?"

Hank sighed. "Connor, it's not a big deal. I appreciate it, but I'm fine. Really."

"You made a big deal for the anniversary of my release date last month. You called it my birthday. You got everyone at the station involved, and even had Markus and our other friends throw a big party."

"So?"

"Why will you not allow the same for yourself?"

Hank felt exposed, and he hated that feeling. He knew that Connor meant well, was honestly wondering why Hank refused to celebrate his birthday, especially after Hank had made a big deal about Connor turning one year old. He had never made a big deal about his birthday in all of his life, but after Cole died…it was like he resented it. What's another year when you cannot watch your son go to school? What's another year when you cannot watch your son try out sports? What's another year when you cannot watch him grow into a young man? To learn how to drive? To teach him how to be a good man?

Hank brushed Connor off, uncomfortable. "Eh, what's there to celebrate? Another year closer to death? Sure."

He meant it as a joke within his unease, and then winced after the words left his mouth. Hank cursed at himself, glancing at Connor. He saw the LED flash red, the look of distress on Connor's face.

The car pulled into the driveway of their home, but both men were tensely quiet, even after Connor killed the motor. Hank clawed for some words, but he really didn't know how to voice what was eating at him.

They got out of the car and went inside the house. Sumo greeted them with happy whining and tail wags. Hank dug for words even as he let the dog outside into the backyard. The two men stood in the kitchen, quiet.

Connor spoke first.

"Last month I asked you an important question…the night after we celebrated my birthday, as you called it. Do you remember what it was?"

Hank nodded, staring at the floor. "Yeah…you asked if we were a family. I told you yes. That I…think of you as a son."

"Now can you imagine how I feel now, hearing those words from you?"

Connor sounded upset. Hell, he had every right to be. Hank flinched, really wanting to kick himself in the ass.

"You…you're right. I'm sorry, Connor. I shouldn't have said that."

He looked to his partner. Connor's eyes were lowered, rubbing his hands apprehensively, his LED yellow. "My biocomponents and the Thirium-310 that powers them enables me to have a lifespan of nearly 200 years, Hank. I only have a little time to spend with you. And I want to make the most of it…because…I'm not sure what I would do without you. I cannot even fathom it right now. So please…do not joke that way."

The impact and hurt he dropped on Connor was repelled back on him. Hank had spent three years of his life in emotional disarray from Cole's death, not caring what happened to him, hell even trying to kill himself at times to not have to deal with the pain and loss anymore. But Connor had started healing that. His ever steadfast, rational partner with a bio-heart of gold was here, and he cared. He was new at life. He was new at feeling it.

It made Hank's words that much more insensitive. All because he wanted to avoid the discomfort of talking about his feelings over his birthday. He felt the need to wipe his eyes.

He grabbed Connor into a tight hug. "I won't. I promise. I'm sorry, it's just that…after Cole died, I never wanted to celebrate…ever again." Hank pulled away to look at Connor, gripping him by the shoulders. "But then you came along and changed everything. I made a big deal of your birthday because it is! I care about you that fucking much. And instead of just fucking saying that, I had to be an asshole…"

Connor chuckled, and Hank felt a little relief in the pit of his stomach. "You do have a tendency to speak before you think."

Hank stepped back from the RK800. "Guilty as charged. Still, it's no excuse to hurt you like that."

"It's alright, Hank."

Hank scratched his head. He thought back on Connor's heartfelt words to him. He said he wanted to make the most of the time they could share together. But Connor had been spending so much time away from him. He didn't bring it up though.

"I have something for you."

The words caught him off guard. "Huh?"

Connor pulled something out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket and extended it to him. Hank's eyes fell on a USB thumb drive. Hank slowly reached up and took it, peering it over.

"What is it?"

"It's a USB flash-drive."

Hank rolled his eyes. "I fucking know that! I mean what's on it?"

Connor smiled, cocking his head slightly. "Perhaps you should plug it into the hard drive of your desktop and find out?"

Hank gave him a suspicious stare before turning to go to his desk in the living room. Connor followed but stayed back near the sofa. Hank sat down at his desk, plugging the USB drive in and loading it up. There was a video file on it and so Hank clicked on it.

He was watching video clips of an amusement park. Upon closer inspection, he recognized Pirates' Cove, the old amusement park on the Detroit River that closed down a few years earlier. This was before it closed, and so many people flourished the park. He heard laughter, rides going, so much activity. Hank didn't realize it at first, but the video was jumping back and forth between recordings from EM400 Jerry androids, the usual models used for amusement parks.

Hank was about to question Connor on exactly what this was, when he heard it. A voice he thought he would never hear again. He froze. His heart clenched in his chest. His blue eyes shot open. He couldn't breathe.

"That one, Daddy!"

Cole. It was Cole. His little form, right there. Sitting atop his shoulders, pointing at something behind the Jerry. Hank looked a tad younger, shorter hair, not as much grey. He followed Cole's hand with his own finger.

"That one?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

Cole giggled. "Yes!"

"What are you going to do with a shark with flames on it?"

The child shrugged his shoulders in over exaggeration, still smiling. "I don't know!"

Hank saw himself put Cole down outside the booth. His son climbed up on one of the seats, a ship canon made out of plastic and cheap paint faced in towards the booth. Hank rubbed Cole's head.

"Alright, so what do we have to do to get Mr. Shark with Flames?" Hank asked.

The Jerry answered in its ever-upbeat attitude. "Well, mateys! You just have to shoot the canons and defeat the monstrous Kraken!"

"Oh, it's a big octopus, Daddy!"

"Is it? You think you can shoot that sucker down? Looks pretty scary."

Cole got ready, giddily shaking his head. "I got this!"

Hank laughed in the video. He handed the Jerry some cash and the canons turned on. Hank watched as Cole moved the plastic canon around, laughing and shooting plastic balls at some unseen creature behind the Jerry. He looked so determined, but so happy. After a few moments he squealed in delight, jumping up in his seat and pointing.

"I got it, I got it! Did ya see, Dad?!"

"Holy moly that giant octopus didn't stand a chance! Great job, son!"

Cole's tiny hand smacked the palm of Hank's in a cheerful high-five. The Jerry clapped, turning away briefly to get the prize.

"You're a natural pirate, matey! Here you are!"

"Thanks!"

Cole took the plush shark, blue with green and gold flames all over it. He squished it up to his body, grinning ear to ear.

"What are you gonna name him?" Hank asked, kneeling down to be level with his young son.

Cole squinted one eye, thinking really hard. "Hmm…How about...Frank!"

"Frank…the shark?"

"Yep!"

Hank chuckled, ruffling his son's head. "Alright, Frank it is. Is Frank hungry?"

Cole vigorously nodded. "Yep. Sharks are always hungry, Daddy!"

"Oh boy, we better feed him before he takes a chunk outta you!"

Hank pinched Cole's side and the child squealed in laughter. He stood his height and took Cole's hand. The two walked away together, Cole holding the plush shark under his other arm. The video stopped.

It was so quiet. Hank could hear the blood rushing through his veins, the shaky breath he finally choked out. He was crying. Hadn't realized he had been crying the whole time watching the video. His fingers trembled and he just…couldn't believe it. He never thought he would hear Cole's voice again, see his smile.

He felt something break within him. It hurt at first, like he was reliving the day he finally realized Cole was gone forever. But it subsided, and all he could feel was…warmth, a soothing yet aching warmth. He stood up, wiping his eyes, still trembling. He turned to face Connor.

Hank couldn't understand how Connor could have known about this, or how he got the video, but then he recalled it. He told Connor months ago about taking Cole to the Pirates' Cove amusement park the summer before he turned six. He told him how it was one of the best days of his life, and one he deeply cherished of Cole.

Connor looked shaken. His eyes blinked rapidly and he avoided Hank's hard stare, his LED flashing yellow and slowly turning red. Hank knew the look. Had seen his partner do it many times when he was confused and trying to reanalyze exactly what he had missed, or messed up.

"Hank…I didn't mean to upset you. I thought it would make you happy. I expected some sadness, yes, but…but…I had no intention of hurting you like this. I am so-"

Hank pulled him into a tight hug, tears still streaming down his face, and he could only choke out a laugh. "I am happy you fucking idiot. Sometimes…sometimes humans cry when they're happy."

"I know that, but your vital signs are really concerning."

"Emotions always screw everything up," he said, pulling back. "How…how did you find this?"

"It wasn't easy," Connor said, calming down. His LED returned to blue. "But I sought out help from Markus and his friends. I wasn't even sure if any of the EM400s that had any interaction with you and Cole were still alive…many were killed in the deviant demonstrations back in November. I showed them Cole's picture so they could scan through their memories. It took me weeks, and I was starting to think I wouldn't be able to find anything. After talking with 14,736 Jerry EM400s, I found the one on the video. He was able to give me that single clip."

"Is that…why you've been gone so much?"

Connor nodded. "Correct. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, as you like you say."

Hank chuckled, wiping his face with his sleeve. "Yeah, I bet. Connor…this is…this is the best gift anyone could ever give me. Thank you."

Connor smiled, looking relieved. He then glanced at the computer screen, the video paused on Hank and Cole walking away holding hands. "You're welcome, Hank. I wish…I wish I would've been able to meet him."

"He would've loved you, Connor. He…always wanted a brother." Hank let loose a shaky breath. "You know…I never told you this, but…when Cole was around two I had a dream that I had two sons. The dream's foggy now, almost forgot about it after he died. But…I do recall a taller, older son, and a younger son. I always assumed the taller one was Cole, you know, after he had grown. But now I know…know it with all my heart, it was you."

Hank could tell that Connor was touched by his words, could tell how he considerably brightened. And well, it was the first time the RK800 cried. As Connor touched the tears, shocked and staring down at his wet fingertips, Hank pulled him into another hug, feeling a lot more at peace.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15918795

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13058312/1/Two-Sons

[boobachu]

The T.C. rambles while watching a force awakes

Re-watching star wars 7 to see if out of the 3D headache IMAX theatre, if it’s any better.

I still hate parody Han Solo guy, like he reminds me of post-Black Knight Sonic the Hedgehog. Just really unfunny and trying way too hard to be hip and internet savvy or something.

I don’t think anything will change my opinion that he shoulda been a bit character.

I’ve decided to commentate the whole fucking movie so read on if you dare.

Rey’s making space bread. It’s very gross.

I doubt anything will change my opinion that she’s the best star wars character.

Oh God BB-8

HBomberguy ruined BB-8 for me. Whenever I see him all I hear is

L I T T L E   W H I T E   C U C K - B A L L L L L L

I guess Rey doesn’t like him either, I forgot this part.

I wish they got rid of the Dorito Destroyer.

Oh boy Darth Helmet is interrogating Lone Star.

Kylo Ren has the stupidest helmet.

There’s subtitles on this so I learned the guy’s name is Poe

RRRAAAAAAAAAAAA

Like Kylo Ren is really badass in the first half I remember this, like he stops a God damn laser blast.

Would you sell BB-8 for 60 meals?

Oh hey

Ugh what’s his name... the storm trooper’s gonna take Poe outta here.

You need a pilot. LOL

I guess Poe is alright, just his first impression was very dumb.

Oh snap it’s hooked down. What kinda name is Hux that’s stupid.

Ha hah shootin’ em down just like Annie in ep 1.

Get fucked command center.

Why do they still have Twin Ion Engine fighters?

I guess we still drive cars so eh...

Ah his name is Finn now, I guess he is a clone? or something?

Maybe they have multiple types of clones. I wonder if they still use Jango Fett...

Fucking proton torpedos!!!

Ah yeah I forgot Finn just wants to GTFO

Trailer shot. Nice.

Oh wait I can turn off subtitles. Good that was disorienting me.

And Poe dies... a great fake-out you thought parody han solo was a protag, but no this is the story of Finn, the storm trooper defecting from nazi hell-space to find his own life on Jakku or wherever.

He keeps Poe’s jacket for cover, very poetic. HAH

POE-ETIC God why did I hate this movie again?

If there’s a Kylo Ren, where is Kylo Stimpy?

Oh God Finn no don’t ugh drank the slop water ugh no why ugh

Finn goes to save Rey cuz white knight trope. Rey can handle herself like a ‘90s chick. Hey she’s a pit chick she’s got a staff.

RUN FINN RUN

Rey fuck taser what

Finn’s having a lousy life.

Poor basketball’s friend died. I feel like the story is rushing.

Like I expected more of a build-up not “SPIT OUT THE EXPOSITION FUCKIN”

Ah, storm troopers...

Rey doesn’t want your cooties, Finn.

Fucking TIE fighters fuck

Is Finn dead? No he just nappin’

Everything exploding!

THE GARBAGE’LL DO

God damn Millenium cheeseburger.

I can do this I can do this

HOW DO YOU FLY A CHEESEBURGER

Fucking karma’s a cheeseburger, that’s what you get for callin’ the SS you loser

The action scenes are choice

Ah Dorito ruins.

Oh I remember this part just

TIE DOWN

oh no Finn down

here it comes

G E T  R E A D Y

fucking engine exhaust TIOGHT

HARD RIGHT

WOOOOOO

Takin’ the shot yeah

Space

CHUCK A  SHIT

ohp

Kylo is Mado

NERD RAGE

AAAAAAAAAA

Kylo is such a 12 year old in 2003.

GIRL?! THERE WAS A WOM?!?!?!?!? XDDD fucking loser

pweese BB-8 help I dunno what I do

fucking lighter thumbs up

Damn Finn what a nerd. “Got a boyfriends? a boyfriend?”

oh no they got garbage dayed

come on Rey gas them gas them all

oh great it’s Han Solo and Chewie

oh wait he used to be Han Solo

What is he now Han Oriana? Whatever Leia’s last name was I never could spell it.

Damn buncha everything happens

Oh great it’s big eyed billy joe armstrong and his O-nauts

WE WUNT OR MUNEY BAEK NAU

oh boy more losers.

It’s all over for Solo.

Ah shit just unleashed things.

There goes the neighborhood just fucking angry meatballs of death AND HE FEEDS THAT DUDE TO IT

oh shit it quiet

Rey is allalone...

Fucking Finn I turn my head a sexond and the meatball caught him.

Get to da cheeseborger

“I never ask that question until after I’ve done it”

Just lightspeed dashed I swear he looks like british billie joe armstrong.

Damn giant fish thing on planet deadly pokeball.

Who is supreme leader he is stupid ugly stupid.

Oh his dad’s Han Solo wow way to blow it spoiler alert fucking why didn’t they save that for the end who wrote this crap oh he was a hologram.

Damn babuy chewie

Ah the new hope plot.

I dunno they twist it enough to make it feel fresh so eh.

Ah a planet of islands... the scenery reminds me of ep 2

“Did you just call me ‘Solo’?”

Women always figure out the truth, always.

There needs to be a han solo inspirational poster that says that.

A job? The fabled... job? You offer job?

Rey has a home? I thought she was just a wayfarer.

Don’t stare “At what?” any of it XDDDDD

Yeah this story feels like it’s going too fast like what’s going on.

HAAAN S O L O

Wait she’s hot for Chewbakka?

Man this band sucks.

Oh great fucking droid nark NARK

Weird lady narks NARKS EVERYTHWIER

Oh boy Darth Helmet is brooding.

Fucking Darth Vader. Kylo Ren is such a fanfiction.

Like, the idea of a warrior of light choosing darkness is something you seldom see done, but... eh... I guess? IRL kids no like most nazis are privilidged and a decade ago would be seen as nerds.

what’s this

what are you doing

The eyes of a man who wants to run

Finn need go bye-bye

Oh wait storm troopers are stolen, not bred. That’s worse like

Finn is really shiny there who does his makeup?

Rey sure didn’t care he was a storm trooper LOL

The screams... they becon me...

Finally a fresh feeling scene.

WHAT’S IN DA BOX

fucking lightsaber

T R I G G E R E D

Is she clairvoyant? I dond’t remember this part.

Is this special edition?

FUTURE

I like specs. She cool.

FUCK D A FORCE

Oh boy nazis

Fucking screamy bitch XDDD

FIST UP why are the nazis doing the fist up this is upsetting.

PEW

How does the laser split up into shit and what is this planet?

Like this is supposed to be dramatic but... you literally don’t know any of those people or any of those planets. This should have been episode 8 or 9 after establishing those planets.

 W H A T    A    W A S T E

oH BOY  Finn got da lightsabah

BEASTS

There goes that dump, way to go Rey it’s your fault I guess BLANKS

Way to kill that soldier

MURDER SPREE

Oh boy Kylo Ren, what a hoot that guy.

wait is this the part?

Han Solo so has the force like if his force3 ghost isn’t in the movie

YOU HAAAVE ONE

Han Solo what a goof

TRAITOR

M E L E E   B A T T L E

Fucking just like in Empire except it’s not Yoda hallucination probably.

Caughted

THE RESISTIES

The x-wing is still the coolest thing like Sonic knew that.

Damn Finn calm down it’s just a pilot.

Rey is in weird jungle o no

She just got godlike and Ren is gonna break that killstreak

MELEE OP

Fucking using cheater force

Kylo you sound like such a dork

That cross saber is still stupid where’s the minorah saber

Nooo Rey!!!

C’mon Finn melee them

fucking lightsaber the whole first order you can do it

just

throw it at the ship

just

throw

and the bad guys win

C-3P0 you mother fucker

Changed your hair

Same Jacket

I can’t believe Carrie Fisher is dead.

The resisties are kinda boring looking.

Oh look it’s Poe, he’s alive somehow.

Maybe the second time I’ll get the good explanation.

Oh no, there’s no good explanation he just wasn’t there.

L A A A A A A A A A A M M M E.

Okay we’re past a new hope kinda in empire strikes back territory and the ending is the last jedi. Like I totally get people being upset that this is basically the original trilogy in a nutshell.

Damn dead R2-D2

Wait C-3P0 has a red arm why

I wonder how many parents relate to Han and Leia because their son turned into a nazi.

Fucking Snoke. What kinda name is that. Solid Snoke.

Was Kylo Ren just staring at Rey’s unconscious body for the past hour?

I’m sorry he’s just not intimidating he looks like a cheap halloween darth vader

Then the dramatic reveal like remember when Darth Vader was so disfigured from burning alive?

Kylo’s just ugly. Like that’s it that’s the reveal. Kylo is ugly.

Rey/Kylo is like whenever a 4chan boy tries to hit on a hot youtube girl like your face just melds into the chair to escape his grasp like a cat that doesn’t want to be pet.

I dunno this scene is just so stupid cuz they both look dorky like this is happening at otakon

You. You’re afraid... that you will never be as strong as Darth Vader

BITCH GOT TOOOLLLLLLD

Kylo has a huge nose. Like he’s Lois Griffin triangle sandwitch nose

I like how Rey tries to Luke Skywalker the storm trooper and he’s like “Serious?”

LOL fucking just left

T A N T R U M   T I M E

and the storm troopers just turn around LOL

Okay I love this weapon like, it’s a combination of the star crusher and a vaccum cleaner from Luigi’s mansion. It destroys the star, but in the way that it uses it to destroy things.

“So it’s big”

Disable the shields... there better be Ewoks on that planet.

Seriously, what does Poe add to the story after the escape?

Damn leila and han... dum

Hey a woman stormtrooper, like just a white gal. I didn’t notice that.

Damn lightspeed their way in.

Hooooh what a landing.

...Han Solo...

That‘s not how the force works!!!

LOL

Finn just wants Rey. I can see why people would think he’s horny for her since that boyfriend line, but that was the last horny thing he said.

Fucking mad with Power, calm down Finn then again we all wanna tell off our boss.

Rey is gonna escappeeeee damn hang on the side of the wall is that a switch what

Rey just climbing that wall like a monkey.

S H I E L D S   D O W N

Fucking Han... is there a trash compactor? You dirty bastard

And here comes the interesting part of Jedi Returns SHOOTY TIME

A T T A C K   T H E   S C P H I N C T E R (that’s how you spell it right)

Oh I love the sun thing like, it’s a great way of showing the timer without a clock.

Oh look it’s Rey, go on and almost get shot to death

H U G

Escape now, hug later.

The cinematography is good I like the dog fights.

LET”S BLOW SHIT UP

I dunno this just really isn’t dramatic at all

Placing bombs, just like in Jedi.

Here comes Kylo

At least he keeps the mask on, like too many movies rely on faces.

oh light’s almost gone.

M A H   B O Y

Ah the stupid part

Wait is his name Finn too?

Like this woulda been way more dramatic if you didn’t know Kylo was Han’s boy.

There’s no music making this awkward and gut-wrenching which you don’t see modern mvoies do.

I’m being torn apart ;w;

What a bitch

Knowing what happens these lines are hilarious

Will you help me

L I G H T S   O U T

red

STAB, STAB, STAB~

AHHHHHH HOOO HOO HOO HOOOIIEEEEE

I dunno like, you’d think Han Solo being stabbed to death with his son would feel more heavy but that was just... nothing.

A S P L O D E

Fucking Kylo TEEF

Night time, being chased by a crazy dork in the woods.

oh here it comes

TRAILER FUEL

YEUR A MUNSTAH

REY DOWN

C’mon Finn

TRAAAIIITOOORRRR

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAT

Fucking melee battle

Just fueled by the rage of his fallen friend, the desparation of the sun dissolving he fights for his life against a wounded lunatic.

Okay so maybe that cross saber has a use.

FINN DOWN

grabby time

oh no

REY GRABBED THE SABER

ROUND TWO, DARTH LOSER

This is unbearably xcool

Time to shoot the hole... like in new hope.

This ending is just all three original endinds with new stuff

30 seconds

SNEAKED IN SHOOT EM UP WOOOOOOOO

JUST LIKE ANNIE IN EP 1

only cooler

KA BLOOOOIIEEEE

fuckin’ A

this battle is just like in empire strikes back

fucking planet’s falling apart so it’s better

A tempting offer

Who wants kylo ren to be a teacher like he’d be like a nun

W 0 0 T

it’s the comeback

don’t give the hero a dramatic pause to focus

B E A T   D O W N

the struggle is real

K-O

Take that loser

there seems to be something between us, Ren

Welp the planet is collapsing woo

Finn don’t you die, Poe is a loser you’re cool Finn

Ah it’s Chewie in the Churger

oh yeah han died like I thought it was han but no he died XDDDDD

GTFO

Here comes the sun doot de doo doot~

Epic

Now for the final scene of congrats.

“Sorry General, your boyfriend was stabbed by his son and then the planet exploded”

H U G

Poor Chewie.

Fucking Artoo what are you doing here.

Like, this shoulda been episode 8 here, it feels like it shoulda ended with han’s funeral and the map was the start of the next movie aunno.

And Finn’s tale of a freedom slave blowing up the nazi death planet comes to a close.

Wait is she leaving?

I thought there was a funeral.

Nothing?

Not even an F?

Yeah then se see’s Luke’s hairy ass and it ends so awkwardly like this movie felt like two movies and THIS SHOULDA BEEN IN THE SEQUEL WHAT

Whoever wrote this is an idiot, whoever directed is even worse.

ANyways my conclusion is that the movie isn’t horrible, but... I dunno it’s about as bad as ep2 tho that movie’s crime was being boring, this one was too much story crammed into a short period and ruined opportunities.

I might watch ep 8 but I just am not invested like

HAN SOLO DYING MEANT NOTHING

Like fucking handing him a lightsaber what kinda ending is that

R O G U E   O N E   W A S   B E T T E R.

The end.

[rexrighteous]

since it's the topic at hand -- charlotte and becky, playing video games away from the UUDD cameras

tbh, based on a true story with me as Becky in three (3) triple threat cage matches with my friends.

“Y’all already know the rules. Why do I gotta babysit?”

“Cause Paige has Billie and Peyton, as per the divorce decree.”

Namoi deadpanned at Becky from across the room.

“Besides, Charlotte cheats.”

“I do NOT!”

“You used your titties to DISTRACT ME and then pinned me.”

“A normal Thursday night.”

“Can we get started before y’all start fuckin’?”

Becky and Charlotte giggled as Naomi rolled her eyes and produced a quarter.

“Charlotte has the winning record, somehow-”

“Cheating.”

“SOMEHOW so she gets to call it in the air. Winner gets to pick match type and gender because apparently the men we work with are too fragile to face some real competition.”

“Heads. Cause I’m gonna take Becky’s.”

“Oh, feeling confident Flair?”

Charlotte eyed her wife in a way that made Naomi more than a little uncomfortable.

“Confident is my middle name, Quin.”

“Weird. All this time I thought your name was Charlotte ‘Always in my fucking way’ Flair.”

Charlotte put her hand on her chest. “That hurt more than any loss could.”

“The coin landed heads. You know like, Becky-just-snatched-your-blonde-head-bald.”

“Et tu, Glow?”

Naomi smiled and pointed to the TV. “You better get picking, Queen.”

“Fine fine. I choose…. A cage match.”

“I’m undefeated in a cage match. You’re going down. Just like you did last night. And the night before. And the nig-”

“Please tell me you’re talking about video games and not y’all sex dungeon.”

Charlotte and Becky lowered their heads and giggled quietly to themselves as Naomi groaned. “Y’all nasty. Keep y’all nasty stuff to yourself. I don’t tell you about what me and Jimmy into.”

“That’s because you’re a true top.”

Naomi opened her mouth to argue but stopped and folded her arms across her chest instead.

“I choose Roman.”

“He’s the best overall! Cheater!”

“I won fair and square.”

Becky scrolled through the roster for minutes on end before making a decision.

“Come on Becky, you’re gonna lose no matter what.”

“I’ve made my decision. I chose Randall.”

“The fuck?”

Becky turned around and raised her hands as Charlotte went into the match. \

“Yeah. I know. But I have a plan. Watch.”

Charlotte ‘button-mash-and-hope-for-the-best’ Flair was off to a fast start. Quickly she had Randy’s health deteriorating. Charlotte took a moment to stand in the center of the ring and taunt as Becky found herself slamming buttons to get back to her feet.

“That’s what you get for picking an asshole.”

“I peg your asshole every week, I know what I’m doing.”

“Y’ALL.”

Slowly Becky started getting reversals that mattered in. Her health was still in a deep orange while Roman got dangerously close to yet another Superman Punch.

“One more and your ass is mine.”

“Always is Charlie.”

“I’m calling Paige, I wanna trade lesbians.”

Charlotte giggled just enough for Becky to reverse the superman punch. A quick spike ddt left both men on the mat, and both women screaming at their TV.

“GET UP YOU STUPID RACIST PIECE OF TRASH!”

“COME ON YOU SAMOAN GOD LET’S GO!”

Roman was up first and Charlotte’s smile lit up the room.

“OOOOOOAAAAHHHH!”

Charlotte hit Randy with a spear and ducked in the corner, cocking her fist for a superman punch.

“Are you ready Becky? Are you ready to get your jaw sent to the side of your face?”

Becky stayed silent. Randy groggily got to his feet and Roman charged. But Randy ducks under the punch and hits an RKO!

“WHAT THE FUCK WHERE HOW DID YOU DO THAT I’VE BEEN KILLING YOU ALL MATCH!”

Becky laughed maniacally as Randall got to his feet and stalked Roman, hitting another RKO!

“WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT COME ON ROMAN GET UP GET UP GET UUUUUP!!!”

Becky grinned as she slowly climbed the cage and hit the floor.

“And your winner, Becky!”

“This is BULLSHIT!”

Charlotte threw the controller into the couch and stormed up the stairs, slamming the door behind her.

“Girl ain’t never been a good winner.”

“No, she hasn’t. But then again, I’d hate to be beaten by a pile of shit too.”

“Do you remember that one time when she beat you as Al-”

“NOPE GOODBYE NAOMI YOUR HUSBAND CALLED AND MISSES YOU.”

[eternalsadgirl]

I hope you suck dick like you've always wanted to u prick

dear you fucking asshole. I saw you today driving on MY road. why were you there? did you look at me? what the fuck? did it fuck you up as much as it did me? I hate that I share this town with you. how is it so fucking big yet I see u everywhere I look. and I don't mean just literally. I see u in everything I do. everything reminds me of you and it makes me hate you even more. just like you said on your tik tok. the same tik Tok page you smear my name all over. speaking of that, how dare you tell people our business. my business. my personal bodily autonomy business. how. fuckin. dare. you. I hope seeing me today messed with your brain too. I hope you're in your room drinking too. I hope seeing me makes it hard to get out bed too. fuck this wine is so good.

you ruined everything. aborting our baby was the hardest thing I've ever done. but you wouldn't care. I wanted to break the generational cycle. you are a cheater and a manipulator and a narcissist and an asshole. you would have never loved her. I know there was no gender yet. but I named her Althea. Althea would have experienced the same thing I went though. drug use, alcoholism, mental illness, daddy issues, etc. I will never allow that to happen. just like the book I read, it ends with us. this ends with me. I hate you so much Steve. you ruined motherhood for me. you ruined love for me. you ruined life. I don't even like breathing anymore. I don't like music. I don't like myself. I hate myself actually for pushing my limit so far with you. allowing you to get away with so many things. how could I believe someone would love me if they did all of what you did to me? knowing what I've been through? watching me cry and heal after my last relationship and my father and my brother. god you are so cruel.

im so glad im alone now. having nobody. I cut off every guy I was talking to this summer. that's 5, by the way. I hope that stings. I wish you knew I fucked 5 guys after you. I didn't want to belong to you anymore. why I let you cum in me every time, ill never know. a psychologist is going to have to study me or something because that was the most out of pocket daddy issues type shit I've ever done. and to let YOU do that after you cheat on me? god I hate myself. I hope seeing me today made you realize everything you did to me and how I had to leave you because of all of it. I

I know you tell people that I got pregnant, aborted it, and left you. but I wonder if you know that I was going to leave you a long time ago. I guess I just held on to hope that I would be good enough for you to change one day. you never did. you never even tried.

im tired. I don't want to think about you anymore. I hope you're in bed thinking about me and knowing deep down I showed you real, raw love that you'll never get from anyone else. fuck you. Im going to tell everyone you are actually gay. because u are lol.