#i forgot to start the dishwasher lol

[actual-corpse]

I'm so excited to move out....

I can't sleep😫

[hausofwoo]

handy | choi san

pairing: choi san x afab reader

word count: 5K

summary: you move into a shitty apartment with a long list of maintenance issues. your landlord puts off sending someone to fix them, only making your frustrations grow. that is, until the maintenance man finally arrives and you discover that he's hot... and you find yourself making excuses for him to keep coming back.

warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, maintenance man!san, tenant!reader, reader is kind of a perv lol, unprotected piv (wrap it up!), oral (f receiving), san is a tease, fingering, hair pulling (m receiving), cumplay, kitchen counter sex!!!, he kinda throws u around hehehe, choking, dacryphilia, use of a petname (baby), lmk if i forgot anything!

author's note: umm.... hahaha um...... so this is lowkey based on a recent experience i had of my maintenance man coming to fix some shit in my apt and he strangely had SO much rizz and i was like wait a minute.... this could be a great fic idea LMAO thank u to @hausofmingi for being my beta-reader ily always ♡

when you signed your lease at your new apartment, you didn’t expect to sign up for a list of problems.

you desperately needed a new place to live, and with the measly budget you had for rent, all that was left available were slim pickings. so when you finally found a small 1 bedroom apartment that wasn’t double your desired price, you jumped at the opportunity. you applied for the place on the spot and were approved the same day. you didn’t really think anything of it, but when you finally got settled in and actually gave a good look at your newfound home… you were in for a fucking nightmare.

for starters, the window unit in the bedroom wouldn’t blow cool air. it’s right in the heat of the summer, so coming home after a long day only to sweat all night long was not cutting it for you. you put in a maintenance request through your tenant portal app the first day when you realized this.

another annoyance was the dishwasher. one of your biggest must-haves was to have an actual working one. maybe you were asking a bit much with your budget, but with the amount that you work, it was imperative. you were thrilled to see the dishwasher during the viewing, only to find a few days worth of dirty dishes later, that said dishwasher was rusty and moldy. literally unusable. so you put in another maintenance request.

last one, and maybe now you’re just getting picky because you’re pissed, but your shower water pressure sucked, and by the time you would finish a shower, the water would take forever to drain. another request sent.

all these maintenance requests and not a single one fixed. you started to wonder if the tenant portal app even worked, so you called your landlord, only to grapple with them on finding a time for them to fix it while you’re still home. you might want these things fixed asap, but you’re not willing to let a stranger in your space when you’re not there.

you started to fucking lose it. a few weeks with no cold air, shitty water pressure, and dishes piling up your sink, and not one thing being done about it. you call your landlord one more time, urging them to finally fix these issues, arguing that they should’ve been fixed before you even moved in. and with that last push, they finally caved and did their fucking job. they said they’re sending someone there first thing tomorrow.

so when you finally wake up and go about your day-off routine, you’re constantly watching the clock. when they said “first thing tomorrow,” did they mean “first thing tomorrow once the maintenance man feels like it”? because it’s already pushing noon and you’re getting impatient. it’s obnoxious; you’re not able to run any errands (let alone actually go out and enjoy your day off) and you’re just waiting around for some dude to actually do the job you’ve been asking for for weeks.

just as you find yourself dialing the landlord’s number, you hear a knock at your door. fucking FINALLY. you jump off your couch, mind spewing profanities out of frustration. you walk towards the door, ready to give this stupid maintenance man a piece of your mind. you swing open the door, and your heart drops.

the maintenance man stands before you, with a tight black tank that hugged his muscular build and dirty worn jeans. he has a tool belt strapped to his (surprisingly small?) waist and a heavy tool box gripped in his hand. he’s a little dirty, and his chest is shiny with sweat due to the humid outside air. his rugged exterior is a huge juxtaposition to his face, however, with sharp yet kind eyes and a sweet smile.

“you need some maintenance done?” he asks.

“oh, uh, yes,” you stumble, suddenly at a loss for words. “come on in.” you hold the door open, allowing him to walk through to your living room.

“so you’re having issues with your water pressure?” he says, looking around the apartment.

“yeah, that and a few other things,” you reply. “but the biggest thing is the window unit in my room. it doesn’t blow any cold air.”

“i can fix that,” he looks at you with a grin. “which one’s the bedroom?”

you walk him to your room, thanking god he can’t see the blush forming on your face. he walks in and places his tool box down, promptly inspecting the window unit.

“i’ll just let you do your thing,” you say, twiddling your thumbs. “i’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

he nods, and you go back to sit on your couch. you mindlessly scroll through your phone, all while spiraling in your head. did your landlord hire this guy from a fucking modeling agency? he has the build for handyman work, that is certain. however, his face is what’s really getting to you. he could be on the cover of vogue and you wouldn’t bat an eye. but there he is, working on a shitty a/c window unit in your room.

you suddenly become hyper aware of the appearance of your bedroom. what does he think about your decor? is he cringing at the plushies sat on your bed? what if you left a pair of underwear out? oh my god, did you leave your nightstand drawer open, with your vibrator out for the whole world to see?

“it looks like you’ll need a whole new window unit,” he says from your room, interrupting your swarming thoughts. “this one doesn’t even have heat, and you’ll need that for winter.”

“oh, yeah,” you say, getting up and standing in your bedroom doorway. “how long will it take to get a new one? this heat has been brutal.”

“i should be able to bring one tomorrow, if you’re available,” he says, turning back to look at you as he closes up the tool box.

“i’m available,” you say all too quick. dude. be cool. “i mean, yeah, i can try to get off work a little earlier, maybe at like 3?”

“works for me,” he smiles, standing up. “can i get your number?”

you can’t hide your blush this time, nodding at the insinuation, but knowing it was just to iron out arrangements. “here,” you say, opening your phone messages so he can send himself a text.

he types away and hands your phone back. “you need a new dishwasher too, right?”

“i do,” you confirm.

“i can try and get you one by tomorrow too,” he says. “i’m off duty by like 5, so hopefully i’ll have enough time. now the shower?”

you nod and lead him to your bathroom. he examines the shower head, and you watch your cat approach him from behind.

“oh my god,” he says, startled at your cat rubbing against his leg. “this little dude came out of nowhere!” he reaches down to pet him, all while he’s purring up a storm.

“wow, he really likes you,” you stand shocked. your cat is always so standoffish to strangers, usually hiding under your bed or couch. but he’s rubbing against your maintenance man’s legs like he’s best friends with him.

“cats tend to really like me, i don’t know why,” he chuckles, scratching at your cat’s head. “what’s his name?”

“leo,” you say.

“like the zodiac sign?” he looks up at you while still petting him.

“yeah, i wanted to name him after his own sign but he’s a cancer, soooo…” you trail off, awkwardly fiddling with your hands.

“i’m a cancer!” he lights up, looking back down at leo. “no wonder we get along.”

you smile, and then realize you’re staring again. “i’ll go back in here so you can work.”

after distracting yourself with your phone again for a bit, you look up and see the man starting to walk out the bathroom doorway, already with his things together.

“okay, it should be good now, but let me know tomorrow if there’s any issues,” he says. you nod to him and lead him to the front door. you open the door and he walks out, but turns to you before he leaves. “so, i’ll see you tomorrow?” he has a smile on his face, with a hint of something behind it that you can’t quite read.

“yeah, tomorrow,” you say.

after locking the door behind him, you slump onto the couch with a big sigh. that was somehow the most nerve-wracking thing you’ve ever experienced. you remember he texted himself on your phone, so you open your messages and see the unsaved number.

sent 12:28 pm this is san :)

you can feel heat rising to your cheeks. even a stupid smiley face in a text has got you kicking your feet. you text him back, telling him your name and a quick thank you.

dear lord. this man didn’t even do anything, but he will be the death of you.

you come home early the next day, even earlier than you mentioned. partly because you wanted to clean up your place a bit, but the other part to mentally prepare yourself for a hot man in your apartment again. you clean up your room, tidying up so it looks a tad better than it did the day prior. once you’re done, you find yourself fixing up your makeup, realizing you’re putting way too much effort into seeing a fucking handyman fix your a/c.

are you really doing this? intentionally getting dolled up for this?? haha never! right….?

you hear a knock at your door and jump up. you check yourself in the mirror one last time, fixing the gloss on your lips. you go to open the door to reveal san, standing in front of you again with a familiar sweet smile on his face. you smile back too eagerly.

“i got your window unit!” he says, nodding down to the large box in his hands.

“oh, come in, that must be heavy!” you say, ushering him into your living room.

“mind if i go in your room?” he asks.

“of course, please,” you say, opening your bedroom door and letting him set the box down. you attempt to subtly watch his arms flex as he drops it. oh my god he is so hot.

you retreat to the living room as usual, allowing him to work in peace. you work on some things on your laptop to pass the time, but the thought of this man working on your a/c, muscles protruding, sweat glistening… it’s all too much of a distraction. you decide to put your ear buds in, trying to drown out your own perverse thoughts. you finally are able to hone in on your work, catching up on the things you couldn’t finish during your shift today since you left early.

you don’t realize that san finished installing the window unit until you feel a hand on your shoulder, making you jump.

“oh!” you stammer, pulling an ear bud out. “sorry, what’s up?”

san has a smile creeping on his face. “my bad, i didn’t mean to scare you. i just wanted to let you know i finished putting in the unit.”

“that’s great, thank you so much,” you say, standing up. “did you get the dishwasher today too?”

“yeah i did,” he says, but then he checks his phone for the time. you realize it’s about to hit 5 pm, and he said he’s off by that time.

“you’re almost off, i forgot,” you say apologetically. “you can just come back another day?”

he checks his phone again, contemplating. “well… i mean i already have it in my truck, so i don’t mind working a little bit over my time.”

“you really don’t have to, san,” you plead.

“it’s okay,” he says. “i’ll be right back with it!”

he exits your apartment, giving you a moment to kick yourself. having a dishwasher that works would be so great right now, but you feel guilty for having him work past his time. another part of you wants him to go anyway, if it meant he would come back again.

you hear a loud noise outside your front door, so you open it to see san with the new dishwasher on a dolly. you hold the door open for him, allowing him to enter your apartment and bee-line to the kitchen. he props the dolly down to drop the box.

“i should be able to finish this in about an hour, is that okay?” he asks, already unboxing it.

“as long as you’re okay with working this late,” you shrug.

“i don’t mind at all,” he smiles, looking up at you.

“okay, i’ll just be in here,” you point behind you, gesturing to the living room.

“alright, dishwasher is done,” san says, walking into the living room with a broken down empty box in one hand and dolly in the other.

“thank you so much,” you smile.

“is there anything else you need then?” he inquires, quirking up an eyebrow.

a moment of silence washes over the room momentarily, with you wracking your brain trying to find a reason for him to stay longer. but you push that away, knowing he’s been working way too long past his scheduled time.

“no, i think that will do it,” you sigh, unintentionally sounding disappointed.

“well,” he mumbles, toying with the box in his hand. “well you have my number, so if you need anything, feel free to shoot me a text.”

you walk him to the door, thanking him. he stands out in the hallway, you looking at him out your front door.

“really though,” he insists. “if you need anything.” with one last sweet smile, he leaves.

so what does he mean by that? “anything.” maybe you’re delusional for thinking there’s a hidden meaning behind that statement. as in, you can text him if you want him to fuck your brains out, “anything?” definitely not, but your mind wanders at the thought of it; that he’d drop everything and book it back to your apartment, heaving and sweaty, ready to take what’s his. you’re actually fucking crazy.

and to make yourself even crazier, the next few days you find yourself itching to get another reason to have him come back. you check your kitchen sink’s water pressure, it’s fine. you test out the stove for the first time and it cooked your food perfectly, no gas smell. then you find something. one of your kitchen drawers won’t close completely. it’s something small, but enough to put in a maintenance request. for the first time since you moved in, you feel grateful you live in a shitty apartment.

you swing the door open, happy to see the cute grin san always gives you the moment he sees you.

“sooo… a drawer, huh?” he quips with a hint of a teasing tone.

“y-yeah, i tried to fix it but i don’t know what i’m doing wrong,” you defend, rubbing the back of your neck.

“i can fix that,” he says, passing into the kitchen, tool box in hand. you’re ready to retreat to your living room as usual, but san stops you. “you know, you don’t have to wait around in your living room for me to finish. i like having company.”

“oh,” you mumble, turning around. “i thought you might want privacy while you work.”

“no, it’s okay,” he says, opening his tool box to grab a few items. “if you wanted, you can hang around. i like learning about the tenants i’m working for.”

“okay,” you murmur. you open a kitchen cabinet to grab two mugs. “do you want some tea?”

“i would love some tea,” he says.

you put the kettle on the stove, heating up some water. you chat with san about work, how many units he has to visit in a day, about the interesting tenants he meets, how long he’s been doing this. once the kettle starts whistling, san is already finished fixing the drawer, placing it back into it’s assigned slot. you can’t help but feel disappointed that your time with him is almost up. you put the tea bags in the mugs of hot water, offering one to san.

“i know you’re done, but if you still want it,” you say, and he accepts the drink with a grin. you both sit at your kitchen table, continuing to chat. your cat leo enters the kitchen, going to straight to san’s legs to rub against him.

“there’s my boy,” san coos, scratching leo’s head.

“i still can’t get over how much he likes you,” you laugh. “he’s never this friendly, he’s only like this with me.”

“he seems friendly to me,” san says. “maybe he just has good taste in people.”

you chuckle, wondering in the back of your mind if he meant that about you too.

san checks his phone, realizing the time. he sets down his tea and stands. “i should probably get out of here, there’s another tenant waiting for me.”

“i didn’t mean to keep you—”

“no no,” san interrupts. “it’s okay. i really liked this. not a lot of people are this welcoming.”

“of course,” you reply, standing up with him. “i—i really liked this too.”

san smiles, biting a bit at his lip. you look at each other for a moment, feeling an intriguing tension in the air. he finally shakes head, going to grab his things to go. you walk him to your front door. you say another thank you, about to close the door.

“like i said,” he repeats, leaning against the door frame. “anything.”

you hadn’t seen san in over a week. it was driving you mad. you became addicted to his energy, to his warm greeting at your front door, to the lingering gazes you shared. you didn’t have any reason to see him again, and you needed to find another. so you did something you’re not entirely proud of… something that an actual crazy person would do. you loosened a bolt on a pipe under your kitchen sink, allowing water to trickle the smallest amount in the lower cabinet.

listen. you know it’s bizarre at this point, but you had to see him again. it’s not like anything would happen; he’d probably just fix it up, have another nice chat with you, and be on his way. is it so bad that you meddled with your sink just to see him?

when san arrives, he has that all-knowing grin on his face the moment you open the door.

“the sink now, hm?” he asks.

“yeah,” you chuckle anxiously. “the sink.”

he goes to the kitchen and inspects the pipes under the sink. you lean against the counter, hoping to god he doesn’t notice that the pipe didn’t magically get loose.

“ah i see,” he laughs to himself. “it’s just a loose bolt. easy fix.” he tightens it with his tools, quickly finishing.

“oh, haha,” you say, nerves bubbling in your stomach. “i guess i could’ve done that.”

“you know, it’s so interesting…” he trails off, standing up to face you, running a hand through his hair.

“what?” you ask.

“i’ve never had to do so much maintenance work for one tenant before,” he says, sly grin across his face. fuck. do you think he knows?

“and i swear, that bolt kinda looked like it was loosened by a wrench…” he trails off again, stepping closer to you. HE KNOWS.

“n-no, i would never,” you defend, feeling backed against the counter.

your eyes are locked on san, wandering over his built frame, over his sharp features. he’s inching closer and closer, and you feel your breath hitch. he catches your trailing eyes as if to ask for permission, and leans in to kiss you.

finally, the thing you’ve been wanting so bad from him, to feel his lips against yours. he cups your cheek with one hand, letting you melt into his touch. your lips part to allow his tongue to slide in, deepening the kiss with fervor. his form pushes against yours, pressing you against the kitchen counter. his hands begin to wander, grazing from the side of your face down to your waist. he holds you in a tight grip, pulling your hips forward to meet his. you can feel him harden in his jeans as he lets out a groan against your lips.

“you did this on purpose, hm?” san says, separating from your lips. he lifts you up and places you to sit on the kitchen counter in one swift motion. he kneels to the floor, grabbing at the waist of your pants. “just to see me?”

you nod emphatically, watching as he pulls down your pants and underwear. the cold air hits your core and you try to close your legs, but san pushes them back open to admire you. putting your legs over his shoulders, he runs his fingers against your folds, eyes drinking in the sight of you. you shudder at the feeling, knowing all too well that he’s already got you soaked.

“you like seeing me like this?” he whispers, looking up at you. “i bet you imagined me like this, between your legs.” when his fingertips graze over your clit, your body lets out a shake, and he knows he found what he wanted.

he attaches his mouth to your core and places a firm hold on your outer thighs. licking stripes up to your clit, each stroke of his tongue feels like heaven. he dips down to your hole, dragging your slick upwards. he moans at the taste of you, devouring at you with more passion. your hands grasp at his hair, relishing the stimulation.

he tugs his head back, looking as pussy-drunk as ever. “i imagined you like this too,” he moans, lips still hovering over you. you unintentionally tug at his hair, yearning for his mouth back on you. “i wanted you so bad the moment i saw you.”

he releases a hand off your thigh and snakes it back between your legs, teasing at your hole as he goes back to circle his tongue around your clit. he looks up at you as he slides his middle finger in, watching you crumble at the feeling. once he can tell you’re comfortable, he slides in another, slowly starting to pump them into you. you whimper at the feeling, walls contracting around his fingers.

your moans are uncontrollable, and he matches them, letting the vibrations enhance the stimulation. he curls his fingers into you, hitting that perfect spot. he can feel your core clenching more erratically, causing him to pick up the pace, but maintaining a steady rhythm. his tongue flicks at your clit just right, making you squeeze your eyes shut and tighten the grip on his hair.

“s-san,” you let out. “i’m gonna cum.”

he detaches from you briefly, still finger fucking you. “cum for me, baby, i want to taste you.” he immediately latches back onto you, eating you like his life depends on it.

you feel a wave of pleasure wash over your body, feeling like chills. you’re shaking now, unable to control the sheer amount of bliss your body is experiencing. you moan out to san, coming undone on his tongue. he continues to work at you, allowing you to ride out the entirety of your orgasm.

he finally disconnects from you, pulling out his fingers coated in your essence. he licks them clean, looking up at you with the same look of desire. he stands up, promptly placing his lips on yours in a passionate kiss. you can taste yourself on his fucked-out lips, and it makes it that much hotter. you can hear him fumbling with his belt, and your hands reach down to help. you place your palm over his bulge, it twitching at the contact.

san separates from you, letting out a heavy sigh. he pulls himself out from his underwear, rubbing the tip at your spent pussy. he looks down and lets a string of his spit hit his throbbing cock, spreading it around the expanse of it with his hand. he angles himself into you, and slowly starts pushing in. you gasp at the size, him stretching you out much more than his fingers initially did. he takes it slow, acknowledging the whimpers leaving your lips.

once he’s fully inside, he groans. “god, you’re so fucking tight.”

he watches himself enter you as he starts rolling his hips into you. he places a hand on the back of your neck, pushing you towards him for a messy kiss. he starts to pick up his pace, earning a sharp hiss on his lips in between kisses.

“you feel so good,” he murmurs to you. “i knew you would feel good.”

you moan in response, completely unable to form any words. all you know is that the stretch of his cock is deliciously painful, and the sweet kisses he’s peppering over your neck gives you goosebumps all over. you can’t even believe this is happening right now, that your fantasy of fucking your maintenance man is coming true, and it feels even better than you imagined.

“you wanted this so bad,” san teases, continuing to piston into you. “for me to fuck you like this. you probably imagined it, touching yourself the moment i left.”

and he’s right, you found yourself needy and horny after every visit he made. you couldn’t stop yourself from grabbing your vibrator and pretending he was the one fucking you, not yourself. but the feeling of the real thing was much different, much more euphoric. to have his chest heaving in front of you, sweat beading on his temple, desperate energy emanating from his body, saying i want to have all of you.

suddenly, he lifts you from the kitchen counter, holding your thighs firmly with his cock still in you. something about the fact that he can completely hold you up, still bouncing you on him even… you feel like his little play toy that he’s throwing around. he takes you to the bedroom, dropping you down on your bed and landing on top of you.

he wastes no time in sliding back into you, desperate to continue feeling your tight walls around him. his body is hovering over yours, your legs tangled as he thrusts into you. he pecks around your neck, hand ghosting over your throat as if seeking permission. you place your hand over his, allowing him to choke you until you’re lost in a euphoric haze.

his thrusts become more intense and forceful, each stroke sending chills down your spine as his length reaches deeper inside you. you swear you’re shaking the whole bed, the headboard repeatedly slamming against the wall. you’re so clouded by pleasure that you barely even notice he’s fucking you so hard that he’s pushing a dent into the wall from your bed frame.

“i can fix that,” san whispers with a smile, not even bothering to stop.

you let out a chuckle, then press a soft kiss to his lips. his hips begin to slow, as though he’s really taking his time to melt into you, to feel every part of you. he then lifts up to hit a new angle inside you, gripping your waist and slamming your hips into his with powerful, deliberate motions. you move your hand to your clit, feeling your walls tighten around his throbbing cock. your vision blurs, tears starting to well up in your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure.

“you gonna cum for me?” san asks, sensing the irregular pulsing of your core. you nod up at him, eyebrows furrowed and lip caught between your teeth. “cum on my cock, baby, let me feel you.”

your orgasm builds to a peak and then cascades over you, sending you into a state of pure bliss. san is still fucking into you, extending your orgasm while still chasing his own. it’s not until his hips begin to falter that you feel him shoot ropes of his cum into you, filling you completely. his moans echo yours, his hips gradually slowing until he finally comes to a stop.

he pulls out of you, falling next to you on the bed. the room is filled with the sound of your heavy breathing as it gradually returns to a normal pace. you look at each other, smiling with a shared understanding of the unexpected moment you just experienced. he wraps his arm around you, drawing your head to his chest to where you can hear his heartbeat.

“sooo…” you chuckle softly, pointing at the dent in your wall. “you’re gonna fix that, right?”

san grins, pulling you closer. “i mean, i can, but then i’d have no reason to come back tomorrow.”

“now that i think of it,” you say, chuckling. “i think there’s probably a few more things that could be fixed…”

“anything you need,” he says. “anything.”

a/n: guys this was so fun to write, i hope u enjoyed it too!! something about san lately oml... plz leave feeback as i'm new to writing, and reblog to support me! it motivates me to write more!

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[novasturns]

!BFMATTSTURNIOLO HEADCANONS

- how i think matt would be in a relationship lol

warnings: little suggestive/nsfw but fluff mostly

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he never lets you pay like ever, he ALWAYSS pays for you no matter what it is and don't even get me started when you come up to him saying u wanna get job. he doesn't want you to work, he says he's the one that makes money and your his girlfriend so you should just relax

he tries to cook for you but fails everytime :( he does love to help you in cooking tho, he always comes down to the kitchen when he hears u cooking and is like ,,can i help you with something?" cause he feels bad when he doesn't help you :(( and even when you say ,,matt there's nothing you can help me with but thank you" he still sits in the kitchen and watches you in admiration

speaking of helping in the kitchen, he actually enjoys cleaning. he cleans the house every time you come over. after you're done cooking, he loads the dishwasher for you, cleans the counters, puts the remaining ingredients back. he puts on fresh sheets few mins before u come over, he scrubs the bathroom entirely so you can shower in a clean space, he will even wash your clothes

his heart melts when he's playing with trevor with you:( or just simply when he sees you cuddling/playing with him. if you had a cat he would try to play with it or pet it. i bet all animals love matt so your pet would love him 100%

CAR RIDES DATES LIKE ALL THE TIME. you two like to go to a fancier restaurant but yalls fav date would still be a car date. driving to a store, buying snacks and just eating them in a car, or you would get McDonald's.

he is TOUCHY. always holding ur hand no matter what. he would do the thumb thingy too (ikyk) he's hugging u from behind, resting his head on your shoulder, giving u little kisses on your neck and cheek, his hands hugging your belly and you cant help but giggle

in sex, he takes everything slowly. starting as a slow makeout, his lips moving to ur neck, gently kissing, sucking your nipples, tracing kisses all over your body. he treats you like goddess, caressing your hips and legs, praising you like ,,you're so beautiful" all the time.

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- SO SO SORRY i didn't post in so fucking long, i have completely forgot about this app and i have no motivation to do anything

- reblogs are highly appreciated <3

- i love you all🤍

[miscfandomwrites]

A/N: This was supposed to say "Bad day" but whoops. I'm tired. anywho, this seriesis inspired by some other authors with their own 'Sunshine series' yet my main take was wanting a main character who is a housewife ish and is fed up with their shit. They're all scared of this rabbit shifter because she's put up with them for this long. There's a whole backstory and lore and such if you want me to get into it, but for now here's 'Bay day' lol

Pairing: (Shifterverse) 141 + Keegan + Konig x Rabbit Shifter! Reader

Warnings: Lots of language, mentions of bodily harm.

Words: 1.3k

Tagging: @tyler-t0t

~

Nothing seemed to be going right. 

First, it was a downpour all day, meaning I couldn’t even drive to the farmer’s market since they had announced that they were going to be closed for the weekend since the weather was so severe. 

It also meant that I had to rush outside to the garden in my new, clean, white sundress, getting mud all over it as I hustled the chickens and ducks back into the coop, and ran around gathering all the tomatoes I could find before they split from the excess rain, some of them already splitting as I gathered them into my dress, staining it red and coating it with tomato seeds.

They boys were all on base today, yet weren’t coming home anytime soon both due to the weather and due to the paperwork they were getting held up with from their last couple missions. 

And today was a Sunday, meant to be a relaxing, self-care, pampering day for me, yet here I am, running around like I lost my head. 

I had just started to dry my hair with a kitchen towel before I remembered that there were sheets hanging outside on the line to dry - one of the perks of living with a team I guess, is that even with an industrial washer and dryer, it still didn’t cut the amount of laundry this house went through during the week. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” I yelled as I ran back outside, skipping putting on the rainboots and just decided to go barefoot, easily hopping the small gate that kept the animals on the fenced side of the yard. My ears twitched as the rain hit them, and I flattened them against my head as I muttered curses to myself as I tore the sheets off the drying rack and ran back inside, about to toss them into the dryer before I realized my dress had covered them in mud. 

I opened the washer, expecting it to be empty, yet was greeted with the sight and smell of Soap’s mildew-y clothes that have definitely been sitting in the washer for the last two days, unswitched. 

“Motherfucker.”  I hissed as I dropped the sheets on the floor and grabbed a laundry pod and some scent beads, throwing them into the washer and starting his clothes on a hot, heavy washer since half of it was his workout gear. 

I shook my head as I felt some of the water starting to reach my inner ears, causing them to twitch and me to wince and I quickly grabbed a spare cloth and quickly cleaned them out, hating the feeling of water in them. 

I could faintly hear my phone buzzing from upstairs, and I jogged up there only to be greeting with Price’s contact, wanting a voice call.

I answered as I opened the dishwasher, realizing I forgot to start it before I went to bed last night, the pod door still closed tight. 

“Hey love, looks like we might be running even later tonight, there’s a new recruit….” He started as I held the phone between my shoulder and head and tried to start the dishwasher again. 

“What time should I have dinner on the table then?” I interrupted him as he was telling me about how they were going to be training not just one but several new recruits, causing them to be home around eight pm at the earliest. 

“Oh, uh, probably around nine or ten then?” He questioned. 

I just shut my eyes and sighed for a moment, before nodding. 

“I’ll get some stew in the crockpot then, today’s not going too great so I doubt I’ll be up that late.” 

“That’s alright dove, we can just pick up food on the way over.” I heard Ghost’s voice, causing me to pause for a moment. 

“Am I on speaker?” I asked softly. 

“Yeah, we jus’ got out of a meetin’ “ Soap replied. Sounds like everyone was there. 

“I’m implementing a new rule: Set a fucking timer on your phones for your laundry. Next batch that grows mildew in the washer will go into the burnpit.” 

A hushed silence answered me, before I heard a smack! and Soap yelling out. 

That was definitely Gaz. He’s the only one who actually takes care of his laundry on time. 

The washer beeping from downstairs gathered my attention, and I said my round of ‘be safe’ and ‘don’t kill the newbies’ before I hung up and tossed my phone on the couch, only for it to slide off and land on the wooden floor, landing screen-first. 

“Oh that definitely fucking broke.” I sighed, padding over to it and picking it up, wincing as I saw shards of glass left behind on the ground. 

A slew of expletives left me that would’ve left Soap blushing, and I set it face-up on the coffee table and headed downstairs, switching over laundry and starting half of the sheets in the washer before heading back upstairs, and cleaned up the mess my phone made. 

It was around three at this point, so I gathered some thawed meat out of the fridge and some vegetables and went to work putting together and stew for the boys that could be left cooking for the next several hours. Halfway through chopping up the carrots, the dryer buzzed, scaring me enough that I accidentally sliced into my finger instead, causing me to yelp and immediately hold it to myself, using my dress as a pressure dressing as I rushing into the bathroom and yanked out the medkit from under the sink. Only to find it fucking empty. 

I hissed at finding this, heading back into the hallway and pulling open the doors and finding the spare medkit things, disinfecting and wrapping up my fingers. (Turns out I nicked two, not just one.) 

I didn’t bother putting away the items since I knew I needed to refill the medkit anyways, leaving the bloody wrappers and roll of gauze on top of the box.

I headed downstairs, switching laundry again, and set up the drying lines we had in the laundry room for the sheets, carefully setting them up, not noticing spots of blood getting on the edges from my fingers. 

After switching laundry I headed back upstairs, my phone buzzing with an incoming call from Soap, which I didn’t even bother touching as I was not about to get shards of glass into my fingers. 

I finished making dinner, setting it up in the crockpot on medium heat, and didn’t bother cleaning up the kitchen as I collapsed on the couch, about ready to cry my eyes out. 

Instead, I fell asleep, my body exhausted, and about jumped out of my skin when I heard the door open and several voices. 

About thirty minutes had passed, leaving me groggy as shit, blinking sleep out of my eyes as they shuffled inside, dropping off bags of something on the counters as Price made his way to me. 

“I know we’re a little early but-holy fuck, what happened?” He started, causing everyone to immediately stop and head my way, causing me to be crowded by everyone. I could barely keep the tears out of my eyes, explaining that today was just horrible. 

“C’mon, let’s get you out of that dress and into something warm, bun.” Gaz spoke softly to me and Price starting giving instructions to the rest of the boys: Konig and his crew were to take care of the animals and check the perimeter, Ghost was to help with laundry, Soap was on dish duty, Price was going to finish up with putting away the groceries which I later learned were from them going to the farmer’s market ass-early in the morning before the sky opened up to make sure I got what I needed for the week. Keegan took it upon himself to restock the medkit, and helped rebandage my hand as I sat on my bed, Gaz sitting behind me, softly brushing my tangled mess of hair. 

This. This is what a pack was like.

[in-hav3n]

Ok so hear me out. Would you please write me this fantasy:

This one is kinda more fluffy but I have that stupid PHOBIA of insects and spiders and moths. I need him to either get rid of the bug for me or kill it for me or something. Makes me feel so single imagining a cute little domestic scenario like that, and him laughing at you screaming and the way you stand so far back from the quarantined area watch from behind a door and he smiles at you acting like a little girl (not in a weird way btw, like he imagines briefly what you were like as a child in a cute way) and how you initially scream BLOODY MURDER, probably knocking shit down and then plundering down the stairs aggressively shaking down your clothes saying “IT FEELS LIKE ITS ON ME” and he is in the garage or something and hears the commotion and comes in looking ALL KINDS OF FUCKING FOINE. Then he just effortlessly gets rid of it, but pretends to throw it on you maybe or if not that he pretends to be afraid of it like you before just getting rid of it. The era I’m picturing… um, like 2003. Gimme some beef😏

THANK YOU FOR EVEN CONSIDERING THIS AND YED. If you create this, good things will happen to you, thags just how it works tbh.

𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄

WARNINGS : horrible spider lol

It was a rainy Sunday in San Fransisco. Winter was slowly coming, bringing a smooth and fresh atmosphere to the city. After sharing delicious breakfast with your boyfriend, you both decided to go back to your own businesses of the day. James went to his garage to do some handy work on this new old car he recently bought while you decided to spend more time in the kitchen, enjoying this morning peacefulness.

You grabbed a coffee mug and sat down at the table to read some local newspaper brought by the postman yesterday. You weren't really in a hurry this morning and it felt good. You just wanted to enjoy this tranquility you couldn't have during the week. But someone else asked for your attention first. A slight bark and a head bump reminded you that it was time to feed your dog Disco.

"Oh I'm sorry buddy, you were outside and we forgot you", you said to him, quickly getting up to put some food into his plate. "What horrible owners are we, uh?", you scratched his ears and he completely forgot your mistake as soon as he started to devour his meal.

You gave him one last little smile before going back to your reading. You took a sip of your hot beverage and let out a sigh of satisfaction. Being at home was the best feeling in the world. James would be there for at least a month and you already planned many things to do. Including best cuddling sessions after weeks of separation. What you did last night actually and the thought of it is enough to make you smile.

Twenty minutes later, you were still reading, humming a song you had in mine for a while as you were turning the pages. You could also heard James' electric devices from the garage but you didn't mind. You liked when he was busy and when he was at home. You always missed his presence so much.

But suddenly, your smile faded, as soon as you felt something on your bare leg. You froze for a short time, wondering what it was. Probably Disco moving around but...then you realized he was sleeping peacefully near the dishwasher, belly full.

You froze more. If it wasn't Disco, then what could it be? You didn't dare to check and let your mind giving you a picture of the thing that probably was on you. Maybe just a envy to scratch your skin, after all you shaved two days ago...but then, your mind brought you less funny pictures. What if it was a bee? A fly ? A moth ? Or something worse like...a spider ?

You gulped and didn't move. You wanted to see if this feeling was your imagination or if something was really on you so you leaned a bit on your chair but you couldn't see what was under the table. You was kinda reassured when you didn't feel anything for a while when brusquely it moved again. And now you started to panic...

Your breath just increased and you looked around, searching for a solution. You closed your eyes when you felt this "thing" literally walking on your skin...You couldn't take this anymore. With a gasp of fear, you quickly pushed this horrible thing from you, shaking your leg the best you could as you back your chair away in a full speed.

"Oh my god, oh my god!", you mumbled as moving around, searching for a safe place somewhere, far from the monster and landed standing on the couch. Disco looked at you with curious eyes and tilted his head on his side, asking you what was going on. You panted hard, waiting for a sign of the beast. Until it finally showed up, walking peacefully before stopping near your chair.

When your eyes landed on it, you felt another rush of fear. It was a big black spider, with horrible long legs. It could have had the size of a tarantula cause it was absolutely big. No way you were going to kill it by yourself.

"JAMES!", you shouted as loud as you can, when you heard a silence coming from the garage. He wouldn't have heard you with his machines. You heard some other noises and screamed for his name again, adding a little "QUICK ! HELP ME". With that you were sure he'd come in a hurry. And two minutes later indeed, heavy footsteps were heard and then the door was opened.

He looked around, thinking he'd find you in the kitchen but then noticed the chair on the floor and your presence in the living room. "What are you doing there ? Is there a problem, I heard you screaming", he explained with a frown, wondering what you were doing on the couch.

"Oh James please help me!", you begged, almost shaking of fear. "You have to kill it, please!".

"What should I kill ?", he asked again, still curious about the situation.

"This horrible monster near the kitchen table! Please, please do something, it's a big tarantula, an horrible giant tarantula", you explained as pointing out the place where it was. James frowned and walked in the direction, searching for the "monster" you were talking about. He stopped near the beast and suddenly cracked a laughter.

"This monster?", he knelt down to observe it closer.

"James, are you mad ?! Go away from that thing and smash it please!", you begged when you saw him. Was he crazy? Intrigued too, Disco woke up to check what James was doing. "Ha! Wait, Disco is too close baby, please push him away and do something!".

"Sweetheart, calm down...it's only a little spider...", he said softly as he got up, searching for something to smash it while Disco was sniffing it.

"Little spider? Are you kidding me? This monster was on my leg, I can tell you this isn't little AT ALL!", you replied, scratching your legs like if you could still feel it on you. James giggled more and finally found something to smash it with. He kneeled again and you looked at him, hoping this horrible beast would be out of this world very soon.

When James tried to smash it the first time with one of his shoe, he missed it. And you saw the spider walking faster in your direction. Without thinking twice, you screamed loud and high as you can as you jumped faster over the couch to run till the stairs where you finally stayed, feeling safer.

"James please, you can kill a beast with a fucking gun from afar, don't tell me you can't kill this fucking spider !", you begged again, scanning every movement of it to see if it wouldn't come in your direction.

'Hey I do my best!", he replied as he walked to the spider, Disco following him as well. He focused on his target and let his shoe falling down on to, finally smashing it down. "Got it!".

You sighed of relief when you see the horrible beast wasn't on your floor but stuck on the back of his shoe. What a luck James was at home, you wouldn't have been able to do that on your own. You'd have probably stayed outside till he'd have come back home...

"Nothing to worry about baby. It was just a little spider. You know this couldn't have killed you, right ?".

"Oh no, she could have! Believe me! I know this horrible...AAAH!", you screamed louder, jumping from the stairs when James came closer to tease you. He ran after you with his shoe exposed.

"Are you sure?", he said, giggling like a goofy.

"James! C'mon stop this!", you begged, almost like a little girl but it was stronger than you. Insects, and spiders actually, were your biggest fear. "I really ask you to stop, please!"

"Oh c'mon", he chuckled and put the shoe away, near the main door. He'd get rid of the spider later. Instead he came closer to wrap his big arms around you.

"I warn you, if you have this damn fucking spider with you, I'll kill you", you warned him, already preparing yourself to run away again. But James wrapped his arms around you, reassuring you.

"Don't worry baby", he gently said, amused by your attitude. "I have nothing with me, I just want to protect you against a tiny spider". You snuggled into his beefy arms and hid your face against his comforting chest.

"That's not funny at all, you know how much I fear those monsters", you mumbled, asking for some comfort he gave you soon. He rubbed your back, whispering some "hush" near your ear.

"I know baby and you're so cute when you're afraid like this", he smiled and kept doing his gestures to comfort you. You blushed a little but he couldn't see. At least, he thought your childish's reaction was cute. "And you know I'd protect you from any threat...big and little threats", he said.

"This is my man!", you answered, feeling safe in his arms...

A/N : Thank you sweet anon for your ask! I'm sorry for the delay, I needed some time to feel the inspiration coming back :( Hope you'll enjoy it, I had fun writing this!

[whentherewerebicycles]

I am worried that this is going to sound judgemental / passive aggressive and I really really really do not mean it that way, I am just confused and curious - what is it that keeps parents of newborns so busy? I thought they didn't really... do much until they got more mobile? I know you have to change the diapers and clean the bottles etc but what actually takes up your time on a daily basis atm? needless to say I have zero experience with newborns lol

I also wondered this!! but it turns out it’s really more all the other Stuff that takes up so much time + the fact that you only have very short windows of time to do that stuff before the baby needs you again. like here is an average morning and early afternoon right now:

6:30-7 wake up, take dogs out, get pump parts out of sterilizer, grab breakfast to take upstairs if he’s not already screaming

7-7:35 feed baby (babies are such slow eaters I’m told they get faster but for the first three weeks it would often take him an hour to finish a bottle and you can’t do anything else while he’s doing it)

7:40-8:20 pump and hang out with baby (I have to pump for a long time bc my supply is so low)

8:20-8:30 put milk away, change him, get him dressed (a battle of wills but I’m bigger)

8:30-9:45ish he naps if I’m lucky! race around the house cleaning out all the bottles from overnight, mixing new formula for the day, emptying the dishwasher, doing any other house chores

9:45-10ish he’s awake again and HUNGRY!! try to distract him a bit to determine if he’s actually hungry or just cranky/gassy

10-10:35ish feed him again

10:35-11:45ish he’s awake and wants to be held and entertained so I hang out with him or try to do stuff one-handed while carrying him around the house. also often I have to change him again.

12-1ish longish crib nap if I’m lucky!! try to shower, take the dogs out again, maybe start laundry bc babies make SO much laundry, do anything else on my list. sometimes he skips the nap and just decides to spend that time screaming. sometimes he wants to nap but will only do it while being held in which case none of the above stuff can get done

1-2 feed him! but this time he’s gassy and grumpy and refusing the bottle or sleepy and refusing the bottle so it takes forever and I have to burp him a bunch or do stuff to wake him up more so he’ll eat

2-2:40 whoops I forgot to pump again and I’m leaking everywhere gotta do that while I hang out with him

2:45-3:45 try to walk the dogs with the baby while he naps in the stroller except I have to walk the dogs separately bc I can’t handle them both + the stroller so we do two 20-30 min walks with a cooldown break to change him at home & make sure he’s not too hot

3:45-4:15 whoops I forgot to eat lunch but now he’s screaming for no reason that I can discern so I gotta walk around bouncing him or do skin to skin time to help him calm down

4:30ish time to feed him again! I’ll never eat lunch but I have high hopes for dinner maybe like a poptart around 9pm!

etc etc

[desdinonniying]

Ya wanna hear how much I hate Lowes?

I have had a horrible time dealing wizh Lowes.

I purchased a dishwasher early August.

It arrived at za store a week later. Zhey called and scheduled my installation for a week after zhat.

Install guy comes, sees za new dishwasher is damaged, says someone will call me in 24 to 72 hours, and leaves.

Nobody called me for over two weeks.

I get a call. For some reason, zhey skip my ringer and go to voicemail. Dishwasher update - new unit is on za way. Two days later, same zhing - skip my ringer. Voicemail says it arrived, but za delivery guy needs to return za damaged unit first.

Huh?

And she'll call za following Monday.

No phone call. Just an email canceling my whole order, and reordering za same dishwasher, but no delivery/installation, etc.

And no explanation.

And za email says za dishwasher will be ready for pickup za following week.

So I call za delivery line. Tell her everyzhing I just wrote. She says she'll pass on zhis info to zhat store and ask what's up. "They cancelled your order, rebilled you for the dishwasher unit, but must have forgot to rebill you for the delivery/installation."

Ya, no shit, lady!!!

But ozherwise, she is unsure what's going on. She says she will ask and call me in two days wizh an update.

Two days later, nozhing.

So I said "fek it" and canceled my order.

I ordered from another company za following Saturday and got my new dishwasher zhat Tuesday.

Zhat Monday, got a call, skipped za ringer, went to voicemail. Lowes delivery letting me know I have been refunded for za delivery/installation fee.

Good.

A week later, I get an email zhat zhere will be a delivery from Lowes zhat day.

Wut.

I check and see I have not been refunded for za dishwasher.

Za email says za dishwasher will be delivered.

HUH???

I try to stop za delivery but it's all "too late, lol. And if you wanna return it, gotta do it in store."

So I put signs on my door and mailbox saying I refuse zhis order. And go to work.

Come home, no dishwasher. Just an envelope. I check my email and za order email no longer says it was a dishwasher, but a store card.

Huh?

I open za envelope and is a latter from Lowes and a little gift card attached.

"In lieu of a refund, please accept this store credit."

Zhey don't wanna refund me, but give me over 300 bucks worzh of store credit.

So I email zheir customer service.

I do my best White Lady Email and tell zhem everyzhing I just wrote.

I eventually get an email back, apologizing for my experience, and zhey will contact leadership at my local store to see what zhey can do, and to expect a response in 24 hours.

It has been a week, yall. And radio silence.

Zhis saga started at za beginning of August. It's October 2nd.

Don't buy appliances from Lowes.

Shout out to PC Richard and Sons for actually doing zheir damn job, not just in a timely manner, but wizh plenty of communication and clear instructions.

Zhis saga ain't over yet, and I still have options, so I don't need advice. Zhere are reasonable zhings I haven't yet tried, like doing a chargeback via P@yPal or going to my local store in person or calling customer service on za phone.

But my point is zhat zhis whole zhing is ridiculous and stupid and annoying and I am just fucking perplexed at za incompetence of zhis company.

Fuck Lowes.

[100dayproductivity]

95/100.

One of those days where I'm feeling overwhelmed by chores and don't know where to start. You ever have those days? You feel kind of paralyzed and end up doing nothing, right? I'm finding what helps me is to start in the corner of the kitchen with dishes and go from there.

First, I clear off my drying rack area:

It wasn't bad today, just a couple of things. The mug stays there; it's what I put cutlery in to dry. The yogurt container is for compost.

Next, I have to finish filling up my dishwasher and running it.

I got a new countertop mini-dishwasher recently because my old dishwasher stopped working and I couldn't keep up with hand-washing. The old dishwasher is pretty old--over 15 years old, probably. I didn't think it was worth getting repaired. However, I wasn't sure I wanted a new full-size dishwasher to replace it. My eldest child just went off to university this year and my youngest child is only with me part-time. The rest of the time I'm by myself. Do I really need a full-size dishwasher for 1.5 people? Also, I'm really thinking ahead to possibly downsizing at some point. Plus, I didn't want to deal with having to get a plumber to install a new unit at this time. So, I decided to try this cute little thing. It was on sale. (I can't remember the price off the top of my head, I think it came to about $300 CAD including taxes and shipping?) Jury is still out on whether it was a good buy. It's VERY small. But I knew it would be mainly for dishes and cutlery, not pots and pans. I'm okay with hand-washing a few things, just needed a little extra helping hand so I wasn't drowning in dishes every day. So from that standpoint, it's fulfilling its purpose.

Lol, I know the before and after pics look the same but I DID squeeze a few more things into the dishwasher. What's left is mostly things that just need to be rinsed out: my Turkish coffee pot and French press, a pot I steamed veggies in, a takeout container that will go in the trash.

In clearing off the stovetop I discovered I still had about a half cup of coffee left in the French press. Woohoo! Yay me! ☕

In the sink I have: a cat food tin and a meat tray (the brown stuff is just coffee grounds). These go in recycling but I like to wash things out before putting in the recycling bin so that things don't get stinky in there because a) stinky recycling is 🤢 and b) it won't attract raccoons and rats that way.

Now, I have to take a break from dishes for a minute to deal with laundry. I had put this laundry outside to dry the other day but I want to run it through air fluff in the dryer to suck out lint and soften the fabric up a bit.

That big box with what looks like a little doorway is what the mini-dishwasher came in. My cat loves it! His own personal little fort. 😆 I guess I'm keeping it for now.

Here he is enjoying his privacy:

Ok, back to the kitchen, I have a pot roast I wanted to put in the crockpot for dinner. Hopefully it's not too late!

Oops! I forgot about the max 10 photos per post. Stay tuned for my next post if you want to see the pot roast!

[audiovisualrecall]

Lol painting isn't on that list

Its just after 4, I bought the paint, emptied the dishwasher, washed the meat dishes and cleaned the sink, and ate something...

probably should eat more but stomach is dicey so..maybe I'll have a fruit. Maybe animal crackers bc they don't bother me. Gas pain is a little bit back bc I had cheese but I needed the protein and fat and salt after my walk, so. Tums to the rescue

Anyway I still need to do the one load of laundry, and clean the litterboxes absolutely. and then... I can bake or I can paint, probably can't do both, I need to start prepping for dinner by 6:30 latest, I'd like to be eating by 8 latest. Scheduled for 6am tomorrow and forgot to ask my boss if I needed to or if he could swap me to 7am since my tm who was on vacation is back and she's in at 6. So whatever I'll be there at 6. Which means leaving enough time to give Edison all of his morning food at once.

[mardoufox21111]

i had a beautiful day. a really beautiful morning. i woke up around 9, got breakfast which was shit but i didnt really care. then i had a bath, watched tv [rome], had trouble ordering lunch but again no big deal, dyed my hair, looked cute. watched some more tv before the devil came home and absolutely lost her shit at me over the dishwasher. she just wont shut the fuck up or get over herself. i hate her so much. as soon as she came in i felt HORRIBLE really just my entire body was anxious and unsure and unhappy. then she started with the criticising and the scoffing/laughing nit picking. 

shes just started noisily putting the dishes away i said ill do it. but she ignored me. shes not talking to t. i am at the point of wanting to cry. its so horrible being here and im probably better going to work in the office lol. thats right i work ina n office now and have done for 2 days. i actually wasnt too nervious about it. the whole week prior i had cried at night about it but when i got there it was easy/i felt ok. amazing right! the whole time ive been there i havent felt at all like this or anxious or nervous about anything. amazing! i forgot what that was like. of course no congratulations or we’re proud of you for going in the office from d or t. but i really excelled! you know like i made some friends and am understanding the content [its not rocket science] but i just feel good about it all. i dont feel too out of place and no one is overly mean thoughim sure they will show their true colours, its only been 2  days. after training we get to owrk from home 3 days a week which will be great. im hoping i can pick and choose when that is? the cool thing would be working when d is there then when shes at home i can go into the office haha. well you never know as well i might finally win lotto like ive always wanted. tonight is 20 mil. AMAZING RIGHT. imagine what i could do with that! earlier this week i had a change of heart and thought my parent was a good person/nice and was like well i forgive her for her faults but then she pulls this shit whichi s sooooooooooo emotionally damaging and scary to the point where im like fuck. i was dumb hahaha. its a vicious disgusting cycle. anyway i got no writing done today unfortunately but thats ok i needed time to just decompress and look after myself. i hate her. she just ruins everything and hes not much better. he just laughs at when she attacks me. great parents/parenting. she needs to get out of my life. i need to get out of this house. anyway im super proud of myself of going into the office, actually being able to make some bonds and not being scared! like i actually excelled at it... weird. i think it was just what i needed and has given me a bit of a confidence boost as well because i feel like wow this was suuuuuuuuuuuuuch a daunting thing for me i was so scared and unsure of myself but i have done such a good job and i deserve to be happy... thats the thing. ive gone through so much shit i deserve to be good. the dude who sits next to me is a fucking jerk but ill move away from him and not work with him anyway thankgod also he wont be in next week for 3 days so im like yes 

[formulaonedirection]

Hope not to bore you too much lol but basically 🤪 uni house drama 🤪

So I'll start by saying I got a new flatmate in october (there's 4 of us). No issue for the first period, she was actually very nice, let us borrow her stuff but then she started "bossying" around and basically do things her own way. She moved bins, things on the shelves, reorganized cupboards and stuff... but like me and my other flatmates have lived here for 2 years and there were no issues with how the house was organized 💀 but anyway, I'm pretty chill so I didn't mind it at first. THEN one day she sends a very passive aggressive text on the gc telling she re-did the house calendar (where we write cleaning turns, who throws the trash and when, house items to buy exc) because it was "too messy" but proceeded to write it the same way ?? Just the weeks of the months were numbered and spaced ?? Wtf

In the meantime she and one of my old flatmate started getting super close and basically unite against me and my roomie. This is pretty funny, me and my roomie have afternoon classes so we wake up late-ish. What the other two started doing was emptying the dishwasher at like 7am when we were sleeping. They did it for about a week and one day I asked them why and the new girl goes "somebody has to do it" with her bitchy tone and I was like "girl let me wake up first?"

But anyway from then it turns out that they felt like they did most things for the house and we needed to clean better. Lol, so we lived in the dirt for 2 years without saying anything, alright...

Then the day we got home for the holidays my roomie forgot a stalk of celery to throw out because we were in a rush to leave. She sent the pic of the celery writing "who left this stinky thing here" and my roomie said "weird that it stinks, it was there for 15 minutes" and she replied "maybe you're used to smell shit and you don't realize it" brooo why the need to be so aggressive. I was shocked. Why make this drama about a small piece of food...

Things excalated and then she sent THE text. Explicitely saying she doesn't want to be our friend (no way?) Because we act childish and she doesn't want to be like a mum to us (????)

End of the story we come back from the holidays and she didn't even say hello or anything 💀 she stays in her room and comes to the kitchen when me and my roomie are not there 💀 but we are the childish ones right

Oh my god the aggravation I felt at the weirdo new flatmate reading this!!!! What is WRONG with people oh my godddddd. That's so annoying I'm so sorry! This is why finding strangers to live with is so scary, like you could really just meet the craziest people and then you're stuck living with them!!!! The whole like texting war thing omg I feel the trauma coming back and it really could be like the most minor thing and they'll act like you shat on the floor. FREAKY!!!!! I hope you and your roomie stick it out and she fucks off tho ugh it's so annoying to live like that though like that's your home you shouldn't have to feel like you're walking on eggshells!!! I'm sorry bud that does sound very dramatic and nightmarish but it'll be a funny story to tell one day when you're far far removed from the situation!!

[imgonnapanic]

Haikyuu Boys Getting Yelled At In Front of You 😀

More specifically, the Karasuno first years. Enjoy!

Yamaguchi Tadashi

You poor souls.

Tadashi forgot to start the dishwasher this morning, even though he was told a thousand times to do it.

Now, his mother can’t make dinner because of the dirty dishes.

Tadashi has forgotten all about this up until his mom comes stomping up to his room.

He takes one look at her face and alllll the color leaves.

“Tadashi...:) you did the dishes, right? :)))))”

And he’s like “oh no, sorry Mom-“

And his mom looks at you, glares at him, and takes a breath.

“You better count your lucky stars Y/n is here. We will talk about this...later :)”

Then she slams the door and goes stomping out.

And Tadashi, who looks as white as Gary from the golf course, is like.

“Uhhhh sorry you had to see that. She gets a little...”

And you’re like “no no no it’s fine.”

...

“But ya gotta do the dishes, Tadashi.”

“I know, I know.”

Tsukishima Kei

He really fucked up with this one-

TcH.

You guys were not supposed to be sitting on the glass coffee table.

AND MOST CERTAINLY NOT ON THE EDGE.

Tsukishima’s mom was pretty quiet, watching it all unfold, just how she told you it would happen.

Tsukki fell through the mf table, and his mom lost her marbles.

You’re just evading the area as you try not to laugh.

Because: A) Kei is sitting in a pile of glass shards looking very remorseful.

B) Tsukishima’s mom is very funny when she’s not mad at you.

Still, you apologize more than once by the time she calms down and helps glass-ass out of the mess.

“Oh, you’re fine dear. I know you were only doing it because of Kei.”

Passive aggressive remarks the entire rest of the time.

Kei mumbles a quick apology to you, but mostly he’s embarrassed 😭

My guy just got scolded like a five year old in front of YOU.

Oh well...it was kinda his fault anyways-

Kageyama Tobio

Apparently you were not supposed to be over at his house :o

This was something that you didn’t know, but he did, so he got in trouble.

The minute he heard the door click early, he knew he was done.

And when his mom came in to check on you, she was like.

“To-oh hello, Y/n-Tobio. I told you that your sister was coming 😡”

“Oh. Forgot. Sorry.”

As you may have guessed, that response was not satisfactory for his mom.

She might have been having a bad day or something but Kageyamas just mortified.

“AND YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY BECAUSE YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT VOLLEYBALL AND SEX.”

And you’re like wOaH wOAh WoaH-

Eventually she finishes, and she’s grumbling.

“I guess you can stay, Y/n. Tobio was supposed to come straight home and spend time with Miwa, his sister.”

The second she shuts the door you start laughing.

“Volleyball and sex, huh? I guess that sounds like you.”

“Uh, you need to shut up.”

Hinata Shoyo

Natsu bit Shoyo and that didn’t end well for anyone because Shoyo proceeded to let out a string of curse words.

And mama Hinata conveniently materialized into the doorway right that second.

So now you’re listening to the muffled but clearly legible scolding that’s going on right outside the door.

Oh well

Maybe Hinata shouldn’t have shouted “OW! MOTHERFUCKING BITCH!”

In the presence of his seven year old sister.

And maybe Natsu shouldn’t have treated his arm like a turkey leg.

Tomato tomato.

Still, you didn’t remember the last time you saw Hinata’s mom so mad.

“Natsu, how many times have I told you that biting is really bad?!!”

“And Shoyo, we do NOT speak like that, am I clear?”

And they both come slinking back to their rooms.

Shoyo is more mad than he is embarrassed lol.

Now he has a fucking bite mark on his arm.

“...You saw her bite me right-?”

[druggeddraccus]

i forgot how nice it is to work 3 days in a row lol that’s third night is made so much easier

and now i get a nice little stretch to be off and relax. my mom and i went to go and get pedicures this morning and we came back and i read in my hammock and got in the pool. my dad made ribs on his new smoker. we got a new dishwasher (it stopped working) and oven (we’ve needed a new one for the past 2yrs) and then our dryer stopped working this afternoon…so my dad made a makeshift clothesline

i started and finished “the girl from the sea” it was a really cute graphic novel! i have to look into it and see if there’s a sequel

now i’m in bed reading “muse of nightmares” before i go to sleep

[bookofmirth]

if you’re still taking prompts.... can i please get no. 29 for elucien? hopefully something abt lucien not being able to keep his mouth shut lol. tysm!

omg I forgot that I wrote this prompt in that list lol. 

The IC have a monthly dinner with all the ships in Velaris - feysand, nessian, gwynriel, and elucien. Elain can rarely hold her liquor and always falls asleep. She and Lucien walk home together and make plans. 

Prompt: We aren’t playing Cards Against Humanity, you can’t say shit like that.

Cassian, Rhys, and Lucien jostled for space in Feyre and Rhys’s kitchen as Azriel transported plates back and forth from the dining room to the sink. 

Every month the men took care of the dishes after the women’s attempts at making dinner, and yet they could never figure out a system in which the kitchen ended up cleaner than it had started. Water on the floor, sopping kitchen towels, and a dishwasher stuffed passed capacity perpetually had Feyre groaning that they should just hire someone for all of it, from dinner to clean up.

By the time they had finished, Elain was asleep on the couch. Gwyn, Feyre, and Nesta were speaking in hushed voices punctuated by restrained laughter, and every bottle in the place had been emptied. 

“Elain is conked out,” Cassian said as he and the others rejoined the women in the living room. He held out a hand. “Time to go, sweetheart?” 

Nesta took his hand and unfolded her legs from beneath her to stand. She brushed her nose against his cheek in answer and turned to her family. “Next week,” she said to Feyre, referencing some plan they had made. 

Azriel and Gwyn gathered their things, Feyre disappeared to check on Nyx, and the party disbanded as it usually did - quietly, content in the knowledge that they would see one another again and that the worst was behind them.

When Lucien touched Elain’s shoulder she sat up rubbing her face. 

“I’m not asleep,” she said, blinking. She pushed her hair back from her face and Lucien smiled at the line pressed into her face from the throw pillow she had fallen asleep on.

“Of course not, dearest. Everyone else was exhausted, they’ve taken off.”

Elain looked around the comfortable living room as if she would find her family there despite what Lucien said. “Oh, they must have drunk too much.”

“Yes, that’s surely it.” Lucien placed her coat on her shoulders as she stood and made her way to the door. He noted the full glass of wine on the table where she’d been sitting as they left and imagined that her tolerance must have lessened of late.

Once in the chilly night air, Elain seemed to perk up again and become alive. “Next month,” she said, leaning into Lucien for warmth, “I think I’ll make a pavlova and bring it to dinner. Or perhaps I should make it in Feyre’s kitchen. I’ve never tried one, and they do look impressive.”

“I’ve never had one either,” Lucien answered.

“Really?” Elain looked up at him, eyes glowing and curious. 

“Really. I’d be delighted to try one for the first time ever if it were made by my wife. Though you might need to let me have some at home first, just practice on me or something.” 

“Yes,” Elain said, “I should perhaps practice it first. Maybe this week.”

“Perfect. One of these days I might have to fight Azriel and Cassian and Rhys for wanting to take you for their own. Your pavlova might be the thing that breaks their resolve. We’d have to call in the President to intervene, there’d be a threat to national security, they’d outlaw all bakery projects from leaving the house on account of making men covetous of others’ wives.” 

Elain gripped his arm as she laughed quietly, trying to keep from breaking the evening silence.

“I think that if I were to challenge them to a writing challenge, I’d win. Only if it were to write erotica, though. I know that Cassian reads all of Nesta’s books but I still think I’d have him beat if we were asked to write smutty Twilight fanfic. I might be able to write some good Mario Kart fanfic, though I’m not sure about the smut. It could be a real battle, you know. I might have to get my shirtsleeves wrinkled.”

“Lucien, you can’t say shit like that. We aren’t playing Cards Against Humanity.” Elain laughed despite her protests and pulled him closer, hugging his arm before letting him go. 

Lucien spun on his heels and faced Elain, walking backwards and he spoke. “What if you and I go away, just for a while?”

“How long is a while?”

Lucien hummed in mock contemplation. 

Elain raised her eyebrows. “How long have you been planning this?”

“Only a few weeks,” Lucien confessed.

Elain grabbed his arm and turned him around, a near-miss with a light post. 

His arm draped over her shoulders, Lucien continued to hum in thought. “Well, you see my love, I was thinking that we’re overdue for a vacation somewhere sunny.”

Elain scoffed. “I think we get enough sun, darling, living in Day.”

“Yes,” Lucien agreed, “But what about sunlight on the Continent? We could visit their topiaries, their estuaries, their aviaries. It would be grand.”

“The Continent...” Elain stopped walking and touched her stomach. It had been so long since he’d seemed this light, this unburdened. 

Lucien turned and tilted his head at her. “You don’t like birds? Or is it the trees? I’m sure their rivers are quite nice.”

A small smile stole across Elain’s face and Lucien’s bloomed in response, even before he realized why. 

“Perhaps we should go somewhere closer to home,” she said. “At least for the time being.”

“Yes,” Lucien said in answer. He gripped her hands.

“I’m sure I’d like to see the shrubbery on the Continent,” Elain continued, “But I think I’d much rather meet our child, first.”

---

I’m open to more prompts, I have a few left so they just take some time. :) dialogue prompts

[fairyhaven13]

Had an interesting dream about Sam and Max last night, almost forgot about it until now. I was playing the role of Barb, my OC I posted on here. She was helping the duo with an investigation. We chased a thief out of a series of apartments and down into another neighborhood.

The thief was a kid who was working with a kooky old guy who she claimed was her grandpa and he claimed was her uncle. Sybil from the games came out of the nearest apartment and shooed them away, giving us the thing they stole. She said the kid was homeless, and my brain went, oh, this must be the origin of Geek from the show. Even though Geek's introduction was totally different.

Sybil invited us in for dinner and introduced us to her baby. Then Sam and Max started having nightmarish visions of their worst memories, and I thought they were being dramatic at first. Max went to Sam for comfort and I expected Sam to come to me since I established this OC as his girlfriend, but instead he pulled a bottle of vodka out of nowhere and drank from that. Which is like, wtf lol, he wouldn't do that. He's more likely to go for a peanut butter fudgie pop. I got upset and so did Sybil and we went to the kitchen while Sam tried to apologize.

While Sybil showed me how to use a weird combination of a dishwasher and laundry machine, I asked her how she was doing. She didn't know where Abe was, and was frustrated with him, but she said she didn't know who else she could have fallen in love with. I said the Frankenstein Monster from the games was really nice and maybe he could have worked, and Sybil said she thought about it in the past but hadn't been in contact with him and it was too late now. She loved Abe too much and he had been a good father, he was just so busy.

Meanwhile Sam and Max's visions grew worse and we realized it was serious. Sybil used her nonsensical vague experience to make me fall asleep and enter their dreams (I have no idea) and I went hunting for them. Sam was stuck remembering how his baby sister died at the hospital years ago, which sucked, but didn't take long to deal with. Max was more entrenched in his: a memory of a bad deal he took to make a quick buck that led to him unwillingly killing four kids. Very angst. The figure of him was raining water which I think was supposed to be him crying, and I hugged him and said I didn't hold it against him.

I was able to get them out and we were so exhausted that Sybil let us sleep on her couch. Sam flopped down first and I tried laying on the other end, shifted to hugging Max partway through, and then ended up hugging Sam with Max on the other side, and me reaching around to partially hold Max in a big group hug. Sam snored very loudly and I was afraid of drooling on him. I was sure Max would never let me live it down. Woke up with super dry skin where I drooled on my pillow in real life.

[100dayproductivity]

97/100.

Am I incapable of doing chores without turning them into a blog post? Seems so.

You know what it is? It's avoidance. I am avoiding a couple of unpleasant tasks (not household chores) that are causing me deep anxiety. So instead of facing them, I do nothing. Which also causes me anxiety. So I try to do housework to feel like I'm "too busy" to get to those unpleasant tasks. But I can only motivate myself to do housework by writing a Tumblr post about it. I think I feel like I can't properly focus on the unpleasant tasks while I have housework nagging at me. Like when you can't get down to studying or writing an essay until you clear off your desk. Kwim?

So... Let's start at the kitchen drying rack again. This seems to be my current modus operandi.

Clear off drying rack ✓

Empty dishwasher ✓

Do a load of laundry ✓

Take dog for a walk ✓

Have a healthy lunch ✓

Hang laundry outside ✓

Have healthy snack ✓

(Lol, it looks like all I did between lunch and snack was hang laundry but I was actually working all afternoon.)

Now it's dinner time already.

Oh! I actually did a half-hour of yard work too! Almost forgot.

Yard work ✓

Healthy dinner ❌

I had a leftover slice of pizza and too many Doritos.

Run dishwasher ✓

Take in laundry from outside and put in dryer ✓