#i forgot the netherlands we have to them out of there too

[magbeth]

i am dead serious we cannot let blond people win this tournament. i'll lose my mind

[adore-laur]

HOME IS A FEELING

— former high school sweethearts reunite for a conversation about what went wrong 🌃

——

"Don't turn around." 

The vague statement thrown your way sends speculations trickling through your brain. Those three words usually never mean anything good. What is it? Or who is it? Whatever the mystery, it makes you anxious based on your friend's wary expression.

"Just tell me," you say timidly, becoming tense in the diner booth with a forkful of red velvet cake halfway to your mouth. "Tell me so I don't have the urge to actually turn around." 

"Your ex," she mutters, never one to beat around the bush, much to your appreciation. "He just walked in. Don't kill me for saying this, but he looks really good." 

You kick her foot under the table and sink further into the leather seat. "Why is he here? He's supposed to be in another country." 

It's not an exaggeration or a falsity. Harry is supposed to be in not only another country but also another continent entirely—the Netherlands, to be exact.

Your friend risks another glance at the front door. "Well, he's back, and it's like he never left. Look at them..." She shakes her head slowly. "Hyping him up like he's a goddamn hero." 

You assume she means the people you went to high school with. A hometown get-together with a small crowd of classmates from nearby colleges is being held at everyone's favorite local retro-style diner to celebrate the last week of summer break. It was going swell until Mr. Marine Biologist, who probably makes studying abroad his whole personality, waltzed through the door. 

You cradle your left cheek with your hand to create a shield for your face in case he happens to look over. "I'm almost done with my cake, and then we can leave." 

"Good luck," she sings. "The only booth open is the one right behind us." 

Of course. Sighing, you silently pray that Harry won't come near you. You doubt he'll try to talk to you anyway since it's been complete radio silence on both ends for over two years. You're really hoping the breakup doesn't get brought up. 

A sudden and forceful compulsion tells you to catch a quick glimpse to see how he looks, what he wears nowadays, and how he acts when you're not around. It's hard to resist. 

"He's coming this way," alerts your friend through a spoonful of vanilla ice cream. 

The universe must be listening, and you can't combat the urge anymore. Someone as beautiful as him begs to be looked at. You sure as hell didn't break up with him because he was unattractive. 

Subtly peeking to your left, you see Harry in person for the first time in what seems like forever. It's only a short window of time where you can take in his presence as he walks closer to sit with a group of people in the booth behind you. 

Black skinny jeans. Nothing has changed there. 

Chelsea boots. Since when does he wear those? 

A gray, tattered sweater, and a blue beanie. It's summer, for crying out loud.

Most surprising, however, is his hair, which now falls just a tad below his jaw. The same soft curls you would run your fingers through until he fell asleep. 

You continue picking at your dessert, your mind running a mile a minute at the sight of him. The fact that he's behind you—thankfully facing the other way—but still inches away nonetheless is nerve-wracking. If you move your head back even the tiniest bit, it'll touch his own. 

Did he notice you? Does he know his ex-girlfriend is in the same room and thinking about everything he could be thinking? Like how you never forgot about him as much as you tried to? 

He's speaking, but you can't piece together what he's saying because you're too distracted by how his voice has deepened over the years. The rasp and British drawl are still there, and the warmth and comfort of them still make your heart race.

Your friend keeps stealing glances and looking at you with apprehensive eyes that cause prickles of anxiety on your skin. "What?" you whisper.

Before she can reply, you feel something nudge the back of your neck. You strain your peripheral vision and see Harry's elbow resting on the top of your booth. 

"Oops, sorry," he says, twisting around in his seat. 

You automatically turn and look at him. It's impossible not to, since he's like a human magnet for the eyes. His face is so close to yours now. Have his eyes gotten greener? Why does he have such beautiful lashes? Does he have more freckles on his nose since you saw him last? 

Snap out of it! 

"It's fine," you mumble, shaking your head and quickly turning around. Your heart feels like it's in your throat. 

After finishing the rest of your dessert, you lean forward so he doesn't accidentally bump you again. Your friend raises her eyebrows at you and taps her foot against yours. 

"So, your brother is coming to visit soon?" you ask, ignoring her questioning look and attempting to make any sort of conversation to distract from Harry. 

"Yeah, tomorrow. My mom is going to weep happy tears."

"Aw. Remind me to visit her before the semester starts." 

The leather seat suddenly squeaks behind you, and your breathing goes uneven for the third time tonight. 

"You guys want anything to drink?" Harry asks his group of friends. 

They all tell him their desired orders, and shortly after, you see him walk past your booth. He heads toward the counter with long strides and hands he doesn't know what to do with. His back is turned, so you use your chance to shamelessly observe him. He looks different but is familiar all the same. He has the same body, although he looks buff. Same friendly personality, although you've missed out on it lately. Same gentle presence, although it wasn't that way the night you separated. 

"Didn't you once tell me that he always ordered ginger ale at restaurants?" 

You look at your friend, processing her question. "Yes. He never mixed it with anything, either. Just drank it straight up like a freak." 

"Gross," she says with a wince. "I think he just ordered one." 

Once again, the counter is your focal point; this time, you notice the glass of creamy yellow liquid on it. You internally gag at how Harry could still drink that. Harry then walks back to his booth, skillfully carrying two glasses in each of his hands, like he worked as a waiter in his past life. You don't even try to hide the fact that you're staring. 

Eventually, he catches your eye and abruptly stops in his tracks. You watch him blink a couple times before he continues to the table and sets down the drinks for everyone. 

"I'll grab some napkins," he murmurs, leaving again. 

You slide your empty plate toward the center of the table and watch him fumble while taking out napkins from the dispenser. Why is he so nervous all of a sudden? 

When he walks by for the second time, he jerks his chin up to the ceiling. You furrow your eyebrows in response. 

He nonchalantly repeats the gesture as he starts passing napkins around. You shake your head, nonverbally telling him that you have no clue what he's conveying. 

His jaw clenches before he mouths, "Come with me." 

"Absolutely not," you mouth back as you fiddle with the sugar packets. 

Harry huffs and sits in his seat. 

Everything used to be so easy with him. 

—— 

Two Years Ago

It was graduation day, and you were inserting a silver hoop earring in the pierced hole of your earlobe when three thumps gently rattled your bedroom door. 

"Knock knock." 

In the reflection of your vanity mirror, you grinned giddily. "Come in! It's unlocked." 

Harry opened the door with a pout on his lips. "You're supposed to say who's there." 

"Wha—" you stammered confusedly, turning around in your chair. "I hate you." 

He shuffled inside and immediately bellyflopped onto your bed. "Wow. I missed you too." 

"Just kidding," you said, flashing him a winning smile. "You left your laptop charger here, by the way. I set it on the kitchen table." 

"Thank you, baby," he mumbled into your pillow. 

"Don't fall asleep."

"Mm, c'mere." He lazily patted the space next to him. "Let's cuddle before we have to sit far away from each other for the rest of the night." 

"It'll only be for a couple of hours at most," you replied, putting in your other earring. "Don't be so dramatic."

After tidying your vanity area, you stood and slinked into bed with Harry. The lavender-colored sunset filtered through your sheer curtains and created a serene ambiance. Harry's body rolled over on top of yours, his weight providing the perfect amount of warmth and comfort. The scent of his almond oil shampoo reduced your nerves. You reached for your phone and set an alarm for fifteen minutes from now so he would have enough time to get ready, then pulled the blanket over both of your heads, not caring if the hair you spent precious time on became tousled. It would mostly be hidden under the immensely unflattering graduation cap anyway. 

Harry's clean-shaven cheek rested on your chest, and he planted a chaste kiss on your collarbone. He had always been the affectionate type. Touch was his love language, and he never failed to fulfill it with you. 

Every touch strengthened your love for him. Every touch left you longing for more. Every touch felt purposeful. 

—— 

You swear he's doing it on purpose. You know he is. 

Harry keeps leaning his head back until it faintly touches yours. Nuzzling it, if you will. That, or he'll clasp his hands behind his head and loosely twirl a strand of your hair. 

This time, he pretends to yawn and stretch his arms before tickling behind your ear. He knows goddamn well it's the place where you're the most ticklish. You pretend to have an itch and bring your hands back to slap his burning touch away, but of course, he takes the opportunity to be a pest and capture your fingers. 

You yank them away and clear your throat. "I need to go to the bathroom," you tell your friend before getting up and making a beeline straight to the back of the diner. 

When you open the door, you sigh relievedly when you find all the stalls open and no one is lingering. You pace toward the farthest wall and rub your hands down your face. Two years without Harry, and not a single call or text—only the occasional picture you'd see of him when you caved and scrolled through his social media during particularly lonely nights. Yet tonight, he acts like you're best buds who can tease each other and initiate playful touches, like you didn't end on a terrible note that made both of your hearts shatter into smithereens. Maybe this is some bizarre dream you'll wake up from and laugh about later. 

You blow out a sharp breath and wash your hands before splashing cold water onto your heated cheeks. 

"Were my hands dirty or something?" 

Your whole body flinches. Now, he's just plain annoying. How long has he been standing there? 

"Why are you in here?" you ask monotonously. 

Footsteps come closer. You keep your back turned. 

He laughs softly and says, "How've you been?" 

Such a master at avoiding questions. "That wasn't what I asked." 

"That wasn't an answer," he replies smugly. You can practically hear the satisfied smile in his voice. 

"I've been fantastic, Harry," you say, your words laced with petty sarcasm. "What about you?" 

"You sound stressed." He's right next to you now. "Is it because of your job? I heard you're an assistant teacher at the middle school." 

Your hands grip the edge of the marble sink. "Who told you that?" 

"I knew you'd be here," he says, as if it were obvious. "I had to ask people what you've been up to since you clearly weren't going to tell me yourself." 

He asked about you. No, that can't be right. Turning to face him, you let your guard down just a little. "I'm helping with the summer school program." 

Harry smiles. If you analyze it enough, it almost looks like a proud one. "That's amazing. What grade do you want to teach in the future?" 

A conversation with your ex-boyfriend about career aspirations is entirely too casual for your liking. Doesn't he have friends to catch up with? Some ginger ale to drink? 

You shrug and truthfully say, "I haven't decided yet. It's a big decision." 

He nods, crossing his arms. "You've got time." 

Silence hangs except for the drip of the faucet. 

"So... I assume you're still studying marine biology?" you ask, already knowing the answer. 

He hums an affirmation. "I'm almost done with my bachelor's degree, and then I'll be on my way to becoming one with the ocean." 

You almost let a laugh slip out. "Well, I'm sure it's beautiful in Europe. I can't imagine the view every day." 

He nonchalantly plucks a stray strand of hair off your sleeve, making your blood rush. "It is, yeah. It gets a little lonely sometimes, but it's been nice to live somewhere so different from what I was used to." 

"You don't have a roommate?"

"Nope, just me. I don't really like sharing my space." 

Only if it was with you. He's told you that before. Not that it matters now.

"I know. I don't know why I even asked." 

It's a bold statement but a tenuous breakthrough in the barrier of the inevitable and awkward breakup conversation you're dreading. 

Harry inhales and takes a step closer. "Come up to the rooftop with me. I don't want our first conversation in two years to be in the women's restroom." 

You give him an apologetic look and say, "I'm sorry, but I can't. I have to head home soon and get up early for work tomorrow." 

He toys with the bottom of your shirt. "Please." 

It's a soft whisper that echos in the empty space, a begging tone chipping away at the walls built around your heart, paired with pleading eyes so clear and tender. Harmless.

"Okay." You'll kick yourself later for giving in so easily. "Okay, fine. Let's go." You pull out your phone and send a quick text message to your friend about where you'll be. She'll understand the weight of the situation. 

Harry walks out of the bathroom, with you following behind. He takes a sharp right toward the concealed metal stairs leading to the diner's roof. He leaves some room so the two of you can walk side by side, your clothes rustling against each other in the narrow space. The rusty door opens, and you step out onto the flat concrete. 

Little squares of light shine from the city buildings far away. They cause a strange feeling to wash over you. It can only be described as a powerful wave of hometown nostalgia, even though you never left. You wonder if it's hitting Harry as well. 

He stands by the edge and leans his forearms on the railing, glancing at you with an unreadable expression. Is it reminiscence? Yearning? Regret? All could be the reason for the melancholy shift in energy. 

"What did we do wrong?" 

—— 

Three Months After Graduation

The party turned sour out of the blue. Harry's friend hadn't just said what you think he said. It was loud, so you must have heard him wrong. Why didn't he tell you? Why did you have to find out from his drunk friend, who's not even close to him? 

Harry definitely saw your face drop because he instantly pulled you into an unoccupied bedroom upstairs. You'd been arguing for the past half hour, neither one of you inebriated funny enough, but still throwing words that were more like weapons at each other—launching arrows at the heart, shooting daggers at the eyes, and slashing swords in the Achilles heel. 

Your weak spot was him, and you were his. 

You stood your ground as you spoke your closing statement with frustrated tears. "I'm never going to see you if you're abroad, so what's the difference if I just leave now and never see you again?" 

"Will that make you happy?" He was being stubborn; you were, too. "Because obviously, I don't make you happy enough for this to continue. For us to at least try." 

He did make you happy, but anger blindly leads people to say what they don't mean, especially in cases of love. 

"Obviously not." Lies, lies, lies. "It's useless when we know it'll end badly." 

Harry released a bitter laugh. "Fine. Have it your way." 

"Fine," you repeated. 

You should have fought for him, but what would have been the use if you had known it would only hurt you in the long run? 

He roughly swung the door open and then turned around one last time. "You can come pick up your stuff at my house this weekend. I won't be home." 

The door slammed shut, and reality sank in. 

—— 

The open sign of the diner flickers below. 

"We did a lot wrong," you declare defeatedly, standing beside him. 

"True, but we were eighteen and didn't know anything about communication or how to balance adult shit." 

The conversation is heading toward a place you don't want it to go. "I really don't want to talk about our breakup, Harry. It's in the past. We've moved on." 

He shakes his head. "Why? There was no closure whatsoever. I think it'd be good to get some now that we're face-to-face." 

In the distance, you watch birds flock on the wire of a telephone pole. "Why didn't you just ignore me tonight? We've been doing fine without each other." 

He scoffs quietly and leans his body against the railing. "Really? I was homesick for months because of you. You felt like home to me; you know that. The feeling never disappeared, no matter how much I pushed it down." 

You throw your arms out. "Then why didn't you call or text me? I would've replied, Harry. I'm not that cruel." 

"I thought you hated me," he says. "I wouldn't have blamed you. I just couldn't stand having you hate me, so I thought it'd be easier not to talk to you." 

It's the classic tale of a high school mindset. You think you're doing the right thing until it slaps you across the face with the hand of cluelessness. You wonder what would've happened if Harry had reached out. Maybe you could've figured it out. 

"I didn't hate you," you admit. How could anyone hate him? "I mean, I might've thought that I hated you, but if anything, I still loved you for way too many months after." 

Harry looks like he wants to say something, but you continue. "Like you said, we were young and didn't know how to balance a relationship and our lives outside of it. Two years can really mature a person, and we both needed to do that without each other." 

He nods while stuffing his hands in his pockets. "Yeah." 

The conversation stops at a dead end. There's nothing else to say since it's a mutual understanding of what went wrong. 

The breeze picks up, and you shiver before asking, "How long are you here for?" 

He clears his throat. "I'm staying with my mother, then I have a flight back to the Netherlands in a few days. I have to go back for an ecology camp." 

"That's nice," you say. A couple of days. That knowledge causes an unwanted sinking feeling to take place in your stomach. 

"Do you…" He raises his thumb to his mouth, nervously biting his fingernail. "Can we maybe talk more before I leave?" 

It's an open opportunity, but what would it lead to? What would come of it? Would it be worth the pain? 

"What's there to talk about? You're leaving soon, and then we'll never speak again." 

You've taken logical truth more seriously over the years. You've learned that holding on to false hope is dangerous for the heart and mind.

"That won't happen," he replies with a pensive gaze. "We've grown and know how to communicate now. There's so much we've missed in each other's lives that we can talk about. I don't know where you live or the places you like to go anymore, who your friends are, or what new songs you like to listen to. It kills me." 

A shaky breath escapes you. "It doesn't matter. We're not right for each other. Call me selfish, but I don't want a relationship where we barely see each other. I'm sure that's not what you want either." 

"So, that's it?" he asks, staring at the sky. "Do you not want to give this another chance?" 

You can't imagine a more complicated question to answer, but it seems you've known the answer for a while. Gently grabbing Harry's chin and tilting his face down, you say, "Right person, wrong time. It would never work with the distance, and you know that. Deep down, we both know, as much as it hurts to admit."

"What now? Are we back to being strangers?" 

"Harry, I don't think we'll ever be strangers. I know too much about you." 

You're trying to lighten the mood, but Harry's sad eyes aren't helping at all. Instead, you focus on the stars twinkling brightly across the black sky and the single car driving by on the otherwise empty street. Every second that ticks by, he seems to move closer to you. 

"If this is the last time I see you," Harry says apprehensively, "can I hold you for a little while? Give me that, and I won't ask you for anything else." 

It'd be foolish to say no, wouldn't it? You need to feel him just as much. He's too significant of a person to let go of without saying a proper goodbye.

"You can hold me." 

And so he does it for the last time. 

Harry closes the distance and embraces you like he always used to—his cheek resting on your head and his arms completely around you, squeezing the sides of your body. He's breathing you in, like he's scared of losing you. It's just you and him standing on a rooftop and holding on to any last bit you can get of each other. 

You're tucked so far into his chest that the only thing you can hear is his heart pounding. He's warm and sentimental, and the nighttime chill makes you melt into him even more. He eases you—every laugh, every tear, every moment you share with him was brought about by the ease of being around him. 

"You still feel the same." A pang ripples in your heart because of your own words, and a sob desperately tries to crawl up your throat. 

Harry nuzzles his nose into your hair. "Yeah? You still smell the same." 

You laugh, but it's choked with sadness. "What, like shitty teen store perfume?" 

"No, you smell like home. Like when I used to go to your house for sleepovers, and you'd always light those vanilla candles." 

Another pang, this time from his vulnerable confession. "I should go," you say, deterring the conversation from any more agony. 

He doesn't argue. "Yeah, me too. I never really liked those people in there anyway." 

You smile, stepping away from his arms. "I'll walk you to your car." 

He nods, and the both of you retreat down the stairs, exiting the building through the back way to avoid any distractions. After reaching the front of the diner, you find his black Jeep sitting alone in a parking space. It's nice to know he still has it, considering it's a car with good memories, like Harry driving you to school every morning and picking up coffee. Or eating fast food outside the high school after a football game. Or nights of endless kissing and professions of love before he walked you to your doorstep.

Facing him under the moonlight tonight, it's time to officially move on. 

"Bye. It was really nice to see you." A tear unexpectedly falls from your eye. Maybe it's due to the chilly temperature, but you know better. 

Harry's face crumbles. Your composure shatters. 

"Please don't cry," he pleads, biting his lip to stop it from wobbling. However, it's too late, and both of you give in to the misery and drama of it all.

"Now we're both crying."

He rubs his eyes and leans against his car door. "God, this fuckin' sucks." 

"We'll be okay," you say weakly. "It's fine. We went two years without each other. You'll forget about me soon enough, and it'll be like this never happened." 

You're only trying to convince yourself at this point. 

"I never forgot about you. You were the first person I fell in love with. How do I move on from that?" 

His choice of words isn't something you gloss over. Is he insinuating that he hasn't moved on yet? Should you tell him you haven't either? 

Logical thinking, you mentally tell yourself. Don't say something that will make it harder to leave.

"I have to go home now." But isn't home standing right in front of you? 

"Okay," Harry says. "I guess… Good luck with everything. I hope teaching goes well for you." 

You kick away a pebble on the pavement. "Thanks. I hope you become one with the ocean." 

He laughs breathily, his dimples popping out for the first time tonight. He then inhales and gazes somewhere far away as his smile dies. When he looks back at you, he nods once before getting in his car. 

"Wait."

He freezes. "Yeah?"

Don't make it harder.

Leave. 

Don't hurt yourself. 

Yet the way he looks at you is enough to make you ignore those logical thoughts. You lean forward and kiss his cold cheek, and it's like his entire body deflates under your hesitant touch. "Thank you for making me happy during the time we had together," you say against his tear-stained skin. "I never got to tell you that."

Harry sniffles and nods, then kisses your cheek a little longer and softer.

A lasting pang. A lingering sting. A sharp twinge. 

Why? 

Because the words he whispers to you cause silent tears to fall down your face when he finally closes the door and drives away. 

You still mean so much to me. 

—— 

Opening the door to your bedroom, the silence echoes louder than usual. The small space is where memories of Harry can still be found. There's the blanket he used to lie on, the desk he would sit on to help you study, and the dresser you used to keep his shirts in to wear when you missed him. The most tragic thing is an empty photo book on the top shelf of your closet that was meant to be filled with future road trips that never got planned. Next to it are unused polaroids for dates that stopped happening. 

Piled at the bottom are a few that actually got used. A picture of Harry when the both of you went to a homecoming afterparty, and you didn't want to drink alcohol, so Harry drank orange Hi-C cartons with you to make you feel better. A picture of Harry on a floating water bouncer at the lake by your uncle's cabin when you went on summer vacation together after junior year. Your favorite picture of him is when he's turned around in the seat of the school auditorium, smiling widely. It was back in high school when nothing could separate you from him. 

The pictures remind you of a time when you were in love—not only with him but with life. They feel like home to you. 

That feeling of home seems impossible to catch now. It's like chasing a butterfly that keeps escaping from the loose grasp of your hands because you don't want to hurt it. 

Are you the hands, or are you the butterfly? 

—— 

The journal on top of Harry's suitcase mocks him. He shouldn't open it, but logical thinking has never been his strong suit. 

The first page has pressed and dried lavender taped to it from the first date he took you on. The next has your drawings in the margin from when you stole his journal while he studied. Yet most of the pages are filled with lovesick entries about you. 

January 29th 

Last night, I told her I was falling in love with her. She said no one had ever told her that before, and I couldn't believe it. How could someone not instantly fall in love the moment she walks into a room? 

Then she told me that she loved me too. I swear, I almost cried with happiness. She's the one for me. I see us being together for the long haul. 

I hope she sees the same thing. 

June 6th 

We graduated! We're finally done with high school!

When they called my name, my eyes went to hers first. She looked so proud of me. I wonder if I could convince her to rent an apartment with me instead of staying in different dorms. 

College will be strange, but we'll get through it together. I have no doubt we'll adapt and find time for each other. 

I always have time for her. 

August 2nd 

I think I'm going to tell her about the college I chose. She's not going to take it well. It's abroad, but it's the best school for marine biology. 

She wants to stay close to home, but I want to get out and travel. There's nothing hard about talking through some of our differences, right? Long-distance relationships can work if you put in the effort. We can do it. 

If this ends up biting me in the ass, you'll never hear from me again. 

Harry stopped writing in his journal after the breakup. It's almost funny, he supposes. He jinxed it in the last entry. He thought of the worst-case scenario, and it came to fruition right before him only days later. 

Blissful ignorance is what he'll call it. Two high school sweethearts who didn't know what would hit them. Foolishly in love and blinded by reality. But the thing is, it's not easy to just move on from it. Especially when he brought those damn vanilla candles from his dorm room to his mother's house so he could sleep better at night. 

So he can be reminded of home. 

It was never a place when he was with you. Home became a feeling that bloomed without warning. It took him by surprise when he found himself wanting to be around you all the time. Home was entirely, ultimately, and unconditionally you. 

Harry closes his journal and brings it with him as he heads out the door to search for a drop of that feeling in the places you used to go. 

The places he will write about until his hand aches as much as his heart. 

——

[abductsanxiety]

So @lizery @nelost and I were talking and imagine like a

VashWood Florist-Tattoo Artist AU

- They have their shops set up on opposite sides of the street

- Rem owns the flower shop and Vash is one of her employees, Wolfwood owns the tattoo shop across from them

- Meryl and Milly are their landlords

- Wolfwood and Livio are roommates

- Livio works as a mortician and owns a morgue in the same building as Wolfwood and he sometimes sends Wolfwood to get some flowers for him to make the place look nicer (he seems to need them more often since he found out his roommate fancies the cute florist across the street for some reason. And Rem also tries to set them up with each other every chance she gets)

- and who would Wolfwood be to say no. After all he'd be able to see a certain spikey haired someone

- so they slowly get to know one another after months of just starring at each other through the window and then quickly looking away with a big fat blush on their face when they get caught

- there's like the occasional flirting and some awkward moments, the usual

- Knives also owns a coffee shop next to the flower shop (we couldn't decide if Legato is a weird obsessive Knives stalker in this one or his cook who admirers him a little too much but I personally like the second option more even though the first one would be more in character)

- Knives also notices that his brother starts to like the stinky guy he sees every morning when opening his coffee shop who smokes 2 whole packs of cigarettes before he has to open his own and he absolutely hates it (he's sometimes seen glaring out of the window and his regulars are getting concerned)

(- Knives shop also has a white bench infront of it in the outside sitting area iykwim)

- so anyway, one day it's pouring outside and Vash obviously forgot his umbrella so Wolfwood offered him to take him home on his motorcycle

- newsflash: they both got soaked

- when they arrive at Vashs place Vash invites Wolfwood in to dry off and offers him new clothes. But the storm get's so bad that Wolfwood can't leave (like full on hurricane or some shit) and then one thing leads to another, you know the drill "only one bed" and so on

- they start dating and after a little over a year when Vash is on a business trip in the Netherlands to buy flowers etc where he dragged Wolfwood along, Wolfwood proposes on a romantic date in a tulip field

((- Legato lives in the apartment right next to Wolfwood and Livio and one morning when Vash leaves their apartment, a little after him and Wolfwood started dating (without ever telling his brother about it), Knives is leaving at the same time from Legatos and let's just say hell breaks loose))

((we will probably draw some of it out as soon as we have time for it but for now I hope this is enough))

[prayerplanthoarder]

Recently I placed a very spontaneous order at PLNTS.com, because they had a baby Calathea warscewiczii on sale and I've been hoping to find one for pretty long now 🥺✨ Another one from my wishlist was the Syngonium wendlandii, and since the aurea variegata was out of stock I got this one instead.

All of the others you can see here were from a surprise baby sad plant box and NOT ONE of these baby plants was looking especially sad?! (at least before they were shipped...) Tbh they seemed to me pretty much the same or even better as the other two plants that I ordered. I've heard that about these boxes before and wanted to give it a try. Anyway, if I did my identification correctly they sent me baby plants of a total value of 83€ (EIGHTY THREE EUROS) and these boxes are about 20€ 😳 I was VERY impressed. In that regard I would definitely recommend these boxes. The only thing I was concerned about was the shipping, although that was partly my own fault. I forgot to check my weather forecast when I ordered and the first day of their shipping journey it was below freezing (at least in my location in Germany), but since the Netherlands are located a bit more to the north compared to my own location I would assume it was the same over there. PLNTS does state that they only send out plant mail if day temps are above freezing, but I can only hope that this was actually the case 😅 The entire box was cold when I got it. There was a heat pack in there, but it was already cold. All the plants were cold too, which did concern me. I tried to handle/ touch them as little as possible and just placed them in the recovery box and makeshift pots so they don't fall over. I did take pics, though. It's been a few days now and almost all of them still look pretty good, though, so I hope they'll be fine! 🤞🤞🤞

So we have here out of the sad plant box:

Philodendron melanochrysum

Anthurium crystallinum

Anthurium warocqueanum

Anthurium villenaorum

Alocasia heterophylla

Pilea 'Moon Valley' (not pictured; this was sopping wet and thus had the coldest root ball of all of them. I didn't want to place it in the box so it can dry out a bit, but it's not looking very good right now, leaves are crisping up and droopy🫤 but we'll see if it survives)

And that's the start of this little adventure! I probably never would have bought any of these plants on my own, but I wanted to see which plants I get and if anything in there would do well in my apartment, and also if any of them would grow on me (pun not intended lol). It's feeling a bit weird to have all of these plants I've been seeing on YouTube for years in my own collection now haha. So far I'm pretty happy about the melanochrysum in particular, it DOES look stunning irl. The Alocasia is also right up my alley color wise, and the Anthuriums are all rather glittery irl which I also like. It's going to be interesting! It's still not been a full week yet since they arrived, but once I'm positive they're not suffering from cold damage I'm going to give them proper pots and everything. Until then, fingers crossed and I will update!! 😁🤞

[internet-girl-friend]

Sega Saga

7:49am - Sep 28

I truly do not have a minute to spare, but now that I have started blogging I can't stop. Something about living alone maybe. Anyway, today is moving day. I must transfer my entire life from the West End to East Van and make it to Fortune for Sega Bodega at 10pm. Wish me and my extremely generous friends luck.

October 2 aside

Okay, so I have not had wifi at my apartment (I still don't; I am, once again, writing this from my day job) and have not had the chance to write the rest of this post until now -- so so sorry to all five of you.

Back to September 28

After spending the entire day moving and cleaning my old apartment I was finally ready to take a few hours to get hot for the show. I showered, conceptualized fits, responded to all my ignored texts, and started my makeup when a text from Allison arrived.

"The show is at 7." It was 7:15.

We thought the show was at 10, but TicketWeb even sent a reminder email that it was an early one. FUCK. At least this time we weren't committing our typical faux pas of arriving much too early.

I threw on my uniform (black skirt, tights, plain black top, leather jacket) and left for the show with wet hair. My fit was so boring and my hair was such a mess that I had no choice but to wear my tits as accessories.

I was so frantic, you'll never guess what I forgot. My fucking camera. So all the pictures you'll see were taken by me on Allison's camera or by Allison herself.

We got there in time to see a couple songs from the opener, Lexc Stacy, and he was really sick but much higher energy than Sega Bodega, so I was thrown off by the choice. I find that electronic(-leaning) shows in Canada prioritize both sets being independently Cool over developing and maintaining energy in the room like they do in The Netherlands (where I lived (and partied) briefly). I like to think of building a setlist for electronic shows as curating vibes or like, interior designing more than it is about showcasing how fire the contents of your USB are -- but what do I know? I don't DJ, I just fuck 'em.

I saw a weird number of people I know at the show (as a transplant, this doesn't happen to me often) and the audience was COOL AND HOT AND SEXY and age appropriate. Needless to say I felt way more aligned with the audience at this show than I have at the last couple (haha). Everyone was vaguely alien-looking.

Sega Bodega's set had markedly bad sound issues and I really felt for him. Having the audio fuck up for a show where the vocals are so delicate and the production is so aggressive is detrimental. But I was thrilled regardless. People had great concert etiquette and seemed to really be there For The Music.

There was a really touching moment where Sega introduced Um Um (a heartfelt song about SOPHIE) and everyone fell silent except to sing along and no one took their phones out despite it being an obvious fan favourite. There are few moments at shows I feel I could cry (and have cried) during but hearing this live was one of them.

My brother described Sega Bodega in San Francisco as "a ghostly illusion," and I agree. There was so much fog that I kept losing track of where he was on stage but the effect was fitting, him seemingly materializing in new locations. But also, literally not a single photo I took worked out (which is slightly unsurprising given that I am used to using my own camera and don't really know how Allison's works).

The light show was magnificent and fit each song perfectly. At one point he mixed clips of SOPHIE's "It's Okay To Cry" and the lights flashed manically between red and white and the crowd warmed up and danced tons. By the time his set was done everyone wanted more.

Allison said the concert was bad and while I enjoyed it, I can understand why she thinks so. If I weren't as big a fan as I am I'd likely have been underwhelmed to no fault of Sega Bodega. My one wish is that I'd been in the pit.

He played no encore, but we collectively begged. The sound guy didn't turn the house music on or the house lights up quickly enough and it felt like an evil tease. If the audio guy was a house tech I hope that it was just an off night, otherwise, I hope he has good transferrable skills...

Allison and I met a really cool woman out front of Fortune who had friends who helped organize the following show, SadBoi. The Cool Girl mentioned that there was another party at Red Gate happening later. Had I not been exhausted and feeling ugly and mildly grumpy I'd have let the night take its course -- fun exists here if you chase it and have the chance to do your hair beforehand.

Cost Breakdown

One tall can @ Fortune: $12.00

Frantic Uber ride: $8.00

Ticket: $20.00

Total cost: $40.00

1 note = 1 prayer that I make rent next month <3

[cooltrainererika]

Just watched the Hetalia musical!

It was fun, though I had no idea what was going on sometimes lol. It didn’t take itself completely seriously, and was good goofy fun.

If I had any complaints it would be the aforementioned at times confusing story. Or maybe that’s just because I couldn’t hear what everyone was singing half the time. The main story was about Japan being chosen to host an international festival, and trying to find what’s so unique about himself. And this somehow results in him falling back in time. There was this whole “Open the country, stop having it be closed” mini-arc that I didn’t know how it connected to the whole thing about Japan finding his uniqueness. They could have made it relevant; like maybe Japan has realized how unique he is and goes too far in the other direction, deciding that to preserve his culture he’s going to remain closed, and he has to learn that he needs his friends too, but from what I could gather that wasn’t what they were going for. Or maybe it was? Idk really.

Also man they flanderized Ame badly. He was a brute in this! Like he didn’t even care when Japan disappeared, WTF America??? That’s one of your best friends like??? Also Past!America was trying to prevent the Axis Stooges from returning to the present because… Reasons? Seriously Ame why are you such a jerk here?! Also I swear China was way more hyper in the opening scene than I’d ever expect him to be (Like there was a gag at the beginning where he and Italy were like “Uneasiness? Like the uneasiness of wanting to go to the bathroom oh no we forgot!” and run around goofily). Though that didn’t last long, and he appeared to act slightly like his old salty self, at least in the past, at least what I know of his old personality, after the fact. And Ned was way more cheerful, though that’s not a complaint. Also I kind of wish the JP fandom didn’t push the whole Axis thing still. …And they mistook tomatoes as being North American lmao. Those come from South America, writers!

As mentioned, the story was about Japan finding himself basically. It really was a story made for Japanese audiences and to pull at Japanese heartstrings lol. Also, the actors were really cute. Especially Japan and China. Man Japan was so smol. Though Ame and China’s voices were really jarring to me because wow they were low. Like I’m expecting them to be these tenors and then bam, I hear these goddamn baritone voices come out of their mouths. It’s not bad, just jarring and hard to get used to. Italy and Spain and England’s actors were clearly trying their best to match the anime though. And I remember saying Ame’s singing was… Eh in another Hetamyu clip I saw, but everyone was great here!

Also man the Netherlands fans were eating good tonight! On the other hand, as soon as the characters started talking about how “The world is uneasy recently” in the opening scene I immediately noticed the giant Russia-shaped hole in the cast. His lack of presence was pretty noticeable. Is it because of current events…?

I found it kind of funny that Past!China was like “You don’t have to copy me to the letter you know?” (and at one point quips something like “What is there to copy about me?”) because of how I write Imperial China and how Imperial China was in history, and I’m pretty sure it was the opposite in canon too lol. This was in response to how Japan basically goes the opposite direction of nationalism and is like “Being unique is too hard, imma copy China for the rest of my life”, which was also funny also because of how I write him (then again so was the entire central story of how he doesn’t know who he is and what’s so unique about himself).

But yeah it was a great time. Btw the climax involved past!China appearing out of nowhere and having an epic ping-pong battle with Japan. On Mt. Fuji. And Japan and the rest of the Axis trio are there because supposedly volcanic eruptions release enough energy to create wormholes. Because screw you it’s that type of show. I’m not complaining, that was awesome.

[callsign-owl]

Amsterdam - Part 5

This is a continuation of Amsterdam - Part 4

Trigger Warning: Drugs

Amsterdam, Netherlands - October 2007

Owl woke up a few hours later, his body exhausted but his mind more or less clear again. The headache that had plagued him earlier had dulled to a manageable throb. Owl rubbed the sleep from his eyes, trying to push away the last vestiges of grogginess. He felt more or less normal again, but "normal" for Owl was a relative term. It wasn't a state of comfort or contentment, but rather the familiar, constant undercurrent of discomfort that had become his default setting.

As Owl sat up, the door to the room creaked open, and his three roommates—Julian, Lukas, and Mark—filed in, their laughter and chatter filling the small space. They quieted as they noticed Owl was awake, their eyes immediately locking onto him.

"Look who's finally up," Mark said, a smirk playing on his lips as he tossed his jacket onto the bed. "We were starting to think you'd sleep through dinner."

"Yeah, you’ve been out cold all afternoon," Julian added, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. "What happened to you, man? You just disappeared last night, and then this morning you show up again looking like death warmed over."

Owl hesitated, his mind racing to come up with a plausible explanation. He knew they were expecting some kind of story, something to satisfy their curiosity. But what could he say? The truth was out of the question, and any lie he came up with would only invite more questions.

"I just… needed some air," Owl finally said, his voice sounding more defensive than he intended. "So I went for a walk, and I guess I just lost track of time."

His classmates exchanged glances, clearly not convinced. "All night?" Mark pressed, raising an eyebrow. "Come on, do you really expect us to believe that?  You look like you went on some wild adventure and forgot to invite the rest of us.”

Owl sighed, realizing that his vague explanation wasn’t going to cut it. “Yeah, well… I guess you could say that. I wasn't planning to but Amsterdam’s a big city and easy to get lost in.”

His classmates curiosity seemed far from satisfied. Mark, leaned in slightly, his eyes narrowing as if trying to decipher some hidden meaning in Owl’s words. “Lost in the city, huh? You don’t exactly strike me as the type to just wander off into the night without a plan. You’re usually s quiet and… well, kind of predictable.”

Owl shifted uncomfortably. They were right, of course. This wasn’t like him at all. At least not when anyone was around to witness it. Normally, he kept to himself, avoiding anything that might draw too much attention. Owl forced a smile.  “Look, I just needed some space,” his tone was deliberately casual. “We’ve all been stuck together for days, and I guess I wanted a break from all the group stuff. I ended up wandering around, checking out some places on my own. It wasn’t a big deal.”

There was a brief silence as his classmates absorbed his words. They weren’t satisfied, that much was clear. Owl could feel the tension in the room, the unspoken questions hanging in the air, but he wasn’t about to give them any more than he already had. Julian finally shrugged, seemingly deciding to drop the subject. “Alright, man, if you say so. But next time you go on one of these ‘walks,’ at least give us a heads-up so we have a chance to join in on the fun.”

After that brief exchange in their room, the boys made their way to the community area of the hostel, where the rest of the class was gathering. The atmosphere was lively, the students chatting and laughing as they waited for everyone to arrive. Owl trailed behind trying to keep a low profile. He could feel the occasional curious glance in his direction, but he kept his expression neutral. He was determined to stick to the story he had already told his roommates.

Mr. Schmid was standing near the entrance, checking his watch and occasionally scanning the crowd to ensure all his students were accounted for. When he spotted Owl, he gave him a brief nod, his expression a mix of warning and acknowledgment.  “Alright, everyone, let’s get moving,” Mr. Schmid called out, clapping his hands to get their attention. “We have a reservation and I don’t want to keep the restaurant waiting. Remember, this is our last night in Amsterdam, so let’s make the most of it.”

The group began to file out of the hostel, making their way through the narrow streets of Amsterdam toward the Indonesian restaurant that they had chosen for their final dinner together. As they arrived at their destination, the tantalizing aroma of exotic spices filled the air. The group was led to a long table near the back of the restaurant, where they all settled in.

Owl found himself seated at the end of the table. He glanced at the menu, his eyes scanning the unfamiliar dishes without much interest. He wasn’t particularly hungry—he rarely ever was. The thought of the unfamiliar food made him feel uneasy.

As the waitstaff began to take their orders, a few other classmates couldn’t resist probing Owl about his mysterious night. They tried to be subtle, asking questions about what he had seen or where he had wandered, but Owl stuck firmly to the vague answers he had given earlier. He wasn’t in the mood for sharing, and he could tell they were beginning to realize that they wouldn’t get anything more out of him.

Eventually, the questions stopped, and the conversation shifted to other topics. When the food finally arrived, the table was filled with a colorful array of dishes—steaming bowls of rice, skewers of satay, spicy curries, and fragrant rendang. The others dug in eagerly, while Owl mostly just picked at his plain bowl of rice. His appetite was nonexistent, and he struggled to eat more than a few mouthfuls.

As the evening wore on and the dessert was being served, Mr. Schmid stood up, raising his glass to get everyone’s attention. “I just wanted to say a few words before you head out to enjoy the rest of your evenings,” he began, his voice carrying easily over the subdued chatter. “This trip has been a great experience, and I’m proud of how you all conducted yourselves, despite a few bumps along the way.” His eyes flicked briefly to Owl. “I hope you’ve all enjoyed your time in Amsterdam and that you’ve learned something new along the way. Let’s make the most of our last night here. However, don't forget to get some rest before our long journey home tomorrow evening.”

The class raised their glasses in a toast and clinked them together, sharing smiles and well-wishes. Owl joined in, his smile not quite reaching his eyes, but no one seemed to notice. As the dessert plates were being cleared away, the students began discussing their plans. Groups quickly formed, each with a different idea of how to spend the last night in Amsterdam. Owl sat back, listening to the chatter around him without engaging. He was used to being overlooked when the class split up and had already resigned himself to spending the night alone, possibly in a coffee shop where he could just disappear into the background.

But as he stood up to leave, something unusual happened. "Hey, *redacted*!" Julian called out, catching his attention. Owl turned, surprised to see Julian, Mark, and Lukas standing together, looking at him expectantly. "We’re heading to a coffee shop. You want to come with us?"

Owl blinked in surprise, his mind trying to process the unexpected invitation. It wasn’t that he had never spent time with his classmates—after all, they currently shared a room, and had exchanged the usual pleasantries—but he had never been included in their more social outings, neither here or back at school. Normally, Owl was the one left behind, not neccessarily out of malice, or dislike. His classmates usually simply seemed to forgot that he existed. And now they were suddenly asking him to join them?

Owl almost declined, tempted to stick to his original plan. He knew they were probably still just trying to figure out what had happened to him the night before. Maybe they thought they could get him to spill the details if they pestered him long enough But something made Owl pause. Maybe it was curiosity. Curiosity about how they would react if he decided to tell them. Whatever it was, Owl found himself nodding. "Sure, why not?" The decision surprised even him.

The four of them made their way through the bustling streets of Amsterdam, the cool night air a welcome contrast to the warmth of the restaurant. The city was alive with activity, the canals reflecting the glow of the streetlights as people moved about. As they walked, the conversation flowed easily among Owl's classmates, mainly with Mark and Lukas teasing each other about their lack of luck with the local girls.

When they arrived, they found a cozy spot in the corner, and settled in. Mark took the lead and headed to the counter to place an order for the group. A short while later he returned with a few edibles and a pre-rolled joined to share. The conversation drifted from topic to topic, but it was clear to Owl that the others were just waiting for the right moment to bring up the question that was on all their minds. Eventually, it was Mark who broached the subject, leaning back in his seat with a casual air that didn’t quite mask his curiosity.

"So, *redacted*," Mark began, his tone light but probing, "about last night…I think it's time you spill some details."

Everyone was looking at Owl, waiting for his answer. For a moment, he considered brushing off the question with another vague answer. But then he remembered why he had agreed to join them in the first place. He wanted to see their reactions, to see what they thought when they learned that maybe he wasn’t as predictable or boring as they believed.

Owl leaned back in his chair, his expression deliberately casual. "Honestly? The guided tour was boring as hell, so I just decided to head off on my own." Owl paused for a moment before he continued, watching their faces carefully. "I wasn’t really planning anything, just wandering around, you know? But then, out of nowhere, this guy approached me and offered me some pills. So I figured, why not? It’s not every day you get a chance like that. So I had a bit of fun, got pretty wasted, and, well… let’s just say I didn’t make it back to the hostel before crashing out in a park somewhere."

There was a brief silence as his roommates processed what he had just said. Then, to Owl’s surprise, their expressions shifted from curiosity to something closer to admiration. Mark let out a low whistle, impressed. "Damn, man. That’s wild. And here I thought you were the quiet, sensible one."

“Yeah, that’s pretty badass,” Lukas added, nodding appreciatively. “You’ve been holding out on us. Not quite the goody-two-shoes type you had us belive you were.”

Owl shrugged, playing it off as no big deal. "Yeah, I mean, the opportunity presented itself, so I took it. Figured I might as well make the most of the trip."

Owl enjoyed their reactions a lot more than he had expected. There was no judgment, no disapproval—just genuine interest, maybe even a little envy. For once, it felt like they were seeing him as more than just a quiet, reserved guy who kept to himself. They obviously still had no idea what Owl was usually up to behind closed doors when no one was looking and he had no intention of changing that.

The edibles took effect slowly and brought with them the familiar sense of relaxation and lightness that made everything seem a little more enjoyable. The rest of the night passed in a blur and before they knew it they were all back at the hostel.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

On the final day in Amsterdam, the class visited the city’s renowned botanical garden and zoo. As the day wore on and their time in Amsterdam came to an end, the class was given an hour of free time before heading to the train station. Most students used this time to grab some food and last-minute souvenirs. Owl, however, had a different plan. He slipped away to a nearby coffee shop and purchased some edibles—one for now and two for the train ride. His goal was simple: he wanted something that would help him sleep through the overnight journey.

Owl's plan paid off. As the train pulled out of Amsterdam Centraal, he could already feel the first edible beginning to take effect, a gentle wave of relaxation washing over him. He quietly ate the other two edibles and then he waited. Eventually, his eyelids grew heavy and he drifted off to sleep.

Continue reading here

[nyaheum]

My Annual Eurovision List - 2023

Completely based on music videos until we actually see some staging. Don’t come at me.

37. POLAND

Solo – Blanka

LMAO fuck TVP. Jann would have been my winner.

36. LITHUANIA

Stay (ČIŪTO TŪTO) – Monika Linkytė

Bleh. I know some people really like this song, but...bleh. There’s nothing here that sticks with me. The song was over and I forgot what it sounded like. I don’t know, I’m used to more from Lithuania.

35. IRELAND

We Are One – Wild Youth

This is the point where I feel like too many bands are hurting this year. They would have been fine any other year, but comparing them to the other bands this year, they’re quite weak. I also expect them so sing “We are Young” every single time...what is fun. up to anyway? (hiatus, apparently.)

34. AZERBAIJAN

Tell Me More – TuralTuranX

Uh...it’s a song. Their name reminds me of Duran Duran. Remembering the name of Duran Duran was the main thing I did while listening to this song. I abolutely HATE spoken word, oh my god. And apart from that, this sounds like one of those songs from an average to slightly bad romcom. Not even the ending song, but the one from the middle, the part where the producers knew that they wanted to convey the passage of time so they simply chose to do a montage.

33. ALBANIA

DUJE – Albina dhe Familja Kelmendi

The guy singing in between is absolutely taking me out. Definitely would’ve liked this more if the chorus hit harder, like this it’s just...kind of sad? But not the good kind, the melodramatic kind (which I can appreciate, to a certain extent, but not to THIS extent.)

32. CYPRUS

Break A Broken Heart – Andrew Lambrou

Did you know that Andrew actually wanted to participate for Australia in 2022? Yeah. I googled this while listening to the song because it has nothing that pulls me in. It’s fine, don’t get me wrong, he has a great voice, but...eh.

31. GREECE

What They Say – Victor Vernicos

Why is he a child. I like the chorus, kind of, but that’s pretty much it. Very meh.

30. LATVIA

Aijā – Sudden Lights

Another song that really takes its time to build up to nothing noteworthy, which is a shame, because in its basics, I quite enjoy it. It’s just a little...frustrating when the chorus comes and goes and nothing in me has changed? Idk lmao.

29. SWITZERLAND

Watergun – Remo Forrer

This is my grandma’s favourite song this year, yay? For some reason I keep reading his name as Ferrero Rocher. The letters barely match, I think it’s just because this is Switzerland. (yes, ferrero is italian, idk.) Oh, the song? It’s fine. It’s not his fault he’s not Gjon.

28. ICELAND

Power – Diljá

It’s fine. Feels very generic, but doesn’t hit hard enough to justify it. Specifically considering it’s Iceland sending it.

27. ARMENIA

Future Lover – Brunette

Surprisingly good in theory, but in the end I only actually like the middle part. The beginning is well sung but a little too slow for me, and I don’t really enjoy the end in general? I’m very unsure with this.

26. NETHERLANDS

Burning Daylight – Mia Nicolai & Dion Cooper

I don’t find any joy anymore either, dude. We’re so in synch, damn. Why does the first chorus do that thing where it teases a nice build up for half a second just to drop immediately? And then the second one doesn’t even properly redeem it. Ruined the whole song for me, genuinely. Not that I liked it a lot before, ehem.

25. DENMARK

Breaking My Heart – Reiley

I listened to this and kept thinking that it sounds like a song I already know, but...turns out it was just this song the whole time. Apparently someone at my local radio station really likes it. I don’t, really, I feel like I might be too old for this type of music. Talking about this...you’re telling me Reiley is OLDER than me? What the hell.

24. ITALY

Due Vite – Marco Mengoni

Second year in a row where Italy doesn’t really do it for me, damn. At least it’s a lot better than whatever was going on last year with Brividi. I still liked Supereroi a lot more and think it should have won. Meh.

23. SAN MARINO

Like an animal – Piqued Jacks

Certainly a song. All I could think about while watching this is one Youtube comment simply saying “He is a little hot” because...they’re not wrong? The song itself just doesn’t hit – but I have the fleeting suspicion that this might be fixed by having the sound mixing done by literally anyone that ISN’T San Marino. I don’t even dislike it or anything.

22. ESTONIA

Bridges – ALIKA

I know that everybody loves this, okay? It’s good enough. Perfectly good ballad. It’s not her fault I dislike most ballads. I do like the last minute though, it picks up a lot, I enjoy that.

21. AUSTRALIA

Promise – Voyager

I love how Australia is really going through the classic Eurovision evolution. My right ear also likes the song. I watched the music video, and I think the left one just didn’t get invited or something. It’s actually REALLY off-putting.

20. SLOVENIA

Carpe Diem – Joker Out

Please don’t come for me, but why does everyone love this SO much? Like, I like it a bit too, but not as much as everyone else seems to? I genuinely feel like I’m missing something here.

19. BELGIUM

Because Of You – Gustaph

This is so groovy, I don’t know why everybody hates it. (I mean, I DO know, but apart from that...it’s not that bad.) It’s not the best thing I’ve ever heard, and the aspect ratio of the official music video freaks me out, but it’s very camp – which is a good thing, obviously this is Eurovision after all!

18. UNITED KINGDOM

I Wrote A Song – Mae Muller

I had no expectations for the UK, mainly because I missed all of the teasing they did, so I’m completely fine with this...it just feels like a lot of songs this year sound similar to this? Maybe I’m going insane. But it’s nice to listen to. I wouldn’t turn the radio off if it came on.

17. GEORGIA

Echo – Iru

Imagine how much more this could have slapped if it was in Georgian. Just imagine. It’s fine like this too, and I’m sure it will be elevated by the staging, but...just imagine, honestly.

16. ROMANIA

D.G.T – Theodor Andrei

Okay, let’s ignore the performance for a bit, and just judge the song. I quite like it, actually. His voice is nice, it’s absolutely something different, and I always give a native language bonus.

15. MALTA

Dance (Our Own Party) – The Busker

The revamp did good things for this song. I like a good saxophone, and I feel like this is quite underrated in the community. It’s fun(ky), I think they will be great live, and the music video is definitely worth a watch while you’re at it.

14. SPAIN

Eaea – Blanca Paloma

I feel like I shouldn’t talk about this song without my lawyer. It’s growing on me, very slowly, but there’s still only select parts of the song that I really like, while the rest is just something I have to go through to reach them. Like the salad you get when you order a steak with fries. (I also just liked Agoney a lot more.)

13. PORTUGAL

Ai Coração – Mimicat

After a song I absolutely couldn’t stand last year, Portugal absolutely delivers again. Feels very authentic to Portugal, I really like her voice, it’s quite fast-paced, I really enjoy it.

12. SWEDEN

Tattoo – Loreen

It’s a song. I don’t know, I don’t care about it, it’s good, sure, but it’s absolutely not a winner for me. Also, the pre-chorus sounds so much like another song I know, but I cannot figure out which one and it’s driving me insane. (I have to admit though, rhyming pain and rain IS true lyrical genius, and whoever wrote that part should win an award.) I like the studio version more than the live version by the way. Yes, even with the performance. Don’t ask me why.

11. MOLDOVA

Soarele si Luna – Pasha Parfeni

I love that as long as we have Moldova, Eurovision will never be boring. This is genuinely nice, too, and fills the void Fulenn left in my heart last year perfectly.

10. FRANCE

Evidemment – La Zarra

C’est très...French. Obviously. Good French, but French nonetheless. Groovy, though. I can appreciate that it’s not really a chanson chanson.

9. UKRAINE

Heart Of Steel – TVORCHI

It’s completely fine. Quite good, even, but I just don’t think that it lives up to the songs Ukraine sent the past decade or so...which is understandable, not only because of their situation, but because the song sent by the winning country never really is. I still really appreciate it for it’s modern tone and the bass. (still preffered fiinka though sorry)

8. CROATIA

Mama ŠČ! - LET 3

This is my absolute guilty pleasure this year. I even rather like it musically, I quite enjoy it away from all the chaos. Of course, the chaos is the main reason I like it. What would Eurovision be without these songs, seriously? BRRRR, TRAKTOR.

7. ISRAEL

Unicorn – Noa Kirel

I know people don’t like this because it sounds like three songs mashed together, but I quite like it. Why? Probably because I listen to K-Pop, I’m used to the mashed-together-sound, and I quite like it. Apart from that I enjoy the song, of course, although I’m purposefully ignoring the lyrics.

6. SERBIA

Samo mi se spava – Luke Black

I listen to music like this quite a lot, so I obviously enjoy it...I’m just very afraid that it won’t really land at Eurovision, not with the juries and not with the televote. But I’ll be optimistic and delude myself into thinking that there’s no way it won’t at least make it out of the SF. (And I would absolutely believe it if it was in Semi 2 instead of Semi 1.)

5. NORWAY

Queen of Kings – Alessandra

She, Queen of the Hype! For good reason though, this is GREAT. Very Eurovision, very European in general, I love good party music.

4. CZECH REPUBLIC

My sister’s crown – Vesna

PLEASE PLEASE LET THEM BE GOOD LIVE. I can’t take another Austria 2022. This is SO good. I love it musically, I love the mix of languages, I might have a small crush on their rapper, please let them be good live. Please. I beg you. (I have a bad feeling, though. Especially the chorus just seems very hard to replicate life. I’ve seen the NF, I know.)

3. GERMANY

Blood & Glitter – Lord Of The Lost

I’m still so...in awe that we’re actually sending something good this year? Like, how did this happen? Who did we sacrifice for this? (Answer: Electric Callboy.) This kind of music just feels very German, even if they’re singing in English. My only critique is that I want him to growl more, but if their Eurovision stage is anything like their winners performance at the NF, I’m not worried.

2. AUSTRIA

Who The Hell Is Edgar? - Teya & Salena

No, seriously, who is Edgar? I only know Teya & Salena. This is such a bop – WITH a message, damn. Easily moved into my Top 5 immediately after it came out. Probably my most listened to song this last week. It’s REALLY addicting. What the hell, Österreich? Not both of us going through change right now, aww.

1. FINLAND

Cha Cha Cha – Käärijä

This song came out, I heard it once, and decided it’s my winner this year. Only Gladiator could have possibly challenged it, but we know how that went, so this is my undisputed first place. Please, juries and televote, do not rob our small king.

[thetrgger]

One of my teachers, a really cool and interesting guy, once said that, if you had an idea, and someone else did that, then it was never yours. An idea is yours if you think it and go as far as you can with making it real. That is when it is your idea. And I don't know how to make games, especially not on the level I think this idea deserves to be made on, but I do have the idea, and I've thought on how to theoretically make it, though I am sure that counts for little. Anyways, here it is: A horror game based on the idea of superposition, where something can be in multiple states until measured. In this case, it is the (what I'll refer to as) monster that is in superposition, in multiple locations at once, perhaps in different forms as well. I never liked the overused horror monster that could only kill when not looked at, so I turned it on its head. Now we have a monster, created by the classic human meddling with space-time, that you must absolutely not look at it. Measure it with thine eyes, and it will be there, and it will see you as you see it, and boy does it want you dead. You'll have to go through the tight halls of a wrecked Research Centre™ as well as disturbingly large rooms, and in a place as ruined as this, you best watch your step, or meet your end at something as boring as sharp debris, falls or inconveniently positioned equipment.

What was the reason for all this science mumbo jumbo that lead to this creature? Why, the search for immortality of course. If you could exist in multiple states at one time, it would not matter if you died once, you have more states to live in that are perfectly fine. Except whoever greenlit this project probably didn't consider the consequences of using death-row inmates as test subjects, and skipping any animals. The result was a "human", born a big ol' murderer, that had their atoms flung around a tad too much and now they resemble that of a blended squirrel without the fur and double the terror. And this stuff was in prototype phase, so each and every state of the poor buddy is gonna be uniquely screwed up. Maybe they have about fifty six eyes too many and they really don't appreciate not having any eyelids... That or the pain of being a flesh creature with too many views of one ugly idiot staring at them. Maybe they're blinder than the genetical defect of a child between a mole and a bat with the hearing of Mr. Krabs when the cash register goes off, and god are your footsteps loud and annoying (but, you know, also the immeasurable pain of being a creature like that.) I think you get the idea. Don't worry, they won't stay put even if they want to though, being a "living" creature in superposition is not your average Tuesday (the canonical day this would take place) and their states just kinda float around when not observed. Maybe the freaky, breathing blob of skin is on the 4th floor one moment, but the other, it is two feet to your left.

Oh, but of course, you want to GET OUT of the terrifying and dangerous ruin, yeah, I forgot about that tidbit. How do you do that? Well, this wasn't your run of the mill Bachelors students doing a group project, the Government™ was all over this and made sure it was the number one top secret. Only people who knew worked in the place itself, or at least resided there, and they did not fancy any easy access, so you gotta go against some big ol' doors, buddy.

Now gimme a second to decide where this takes place geographically. Okay, did some wheel spinning, picked a country from every continent plus one from the entire world, and the mix of all these is gonna be what this country is gonna be like: Europe, Estonia; Asia, Armenia; Africa, Tunisia; North America, Grenada; South America, Bolivia; Oceania, Nauru and all countries, Netherlands. Okay, so let's say they have the language of Estonia, architecture of Armenia, food of Tunisia, people of Grenada, geography and nature and terrain and stuff of Bolivia, history of Nauru and general influences on all parts from Netherlands. Credit to random wheel jr.

Oh and there's also Martin. Martin is just chilling. The whole superposition thing worked perfectly on him, he wasn't even supposed to be on death row, got framed by accident (he doesn't mind.) He just exists all over the world. Maybe you see Martin, he says hello, asks how your day is, that stuff. Come back the next day and he isn't there, but don't worry, one of him will float back around to you one day. He just chills, nothing much. No pain, no anger, no nothing. Just a cool guy. Scared of the water, but otherwise unperturbed, just carries on existing.

[achaiapelides]

Kit's Diary

Chapter 16

Dear Ty,

I'm sorry I didn't write anything for the last few days. I was so exhausted from all the trips we made, that I fell asleep the moment I went to bed and didn't even think about you. Well, lies, I still think about you. Your ghost still haunts me in my dreams. (Ok stop with the cheesiness Kit! That happens, when you listen to Taylor Swift too much!) What I mean is, that I still think about you in every spare minute and I still miss you, but when I think about you it doesn't hurt as much. First I was scared that I would fall out of love with you and loose all my feelings for you, but I talked with Tessa about this and she said that she feels the same with Will, but that doesn't mean that she loves him any less than when he was alive. It's just that she got so used to thinking about Will and the pain that comes with it, that she got used to it. And I got so used to the fact that I can't be with you right now and have so much else to do, that it doesn't hurt as much. Just like when a child gets vaccinated and the doctor distracts them while giving them the shot. The needle is still there, but it doesn't hurt as much.

But enough about me still pining for you. Surely you want to know what I did the last few days. Or you don't. But I'm telling you anyways because this is still a diary.

So, on Tuesday we rented bikes at the holiday resort and then rode them to the neighbouring town Knokke which is in Belgium. There we went first to a museum about the birds that live in the area. It was very interesting. You would probably like it here. The first part of the museum was inside and you could do a test, how much you know about the birds while learning new things about them. In the end, you can print out your result. Afterwards, you can go into a park outside, where you can watch some of the birds. There, we met some experts who gave the young birds trackers around their feet to be able to locate them later. In a hut that was build in the beach area we found another bird expert, who didn't work at the park but still explained some interesting things to us. Sadly, I didnt really understand much, but I'm sure you would have understood everything. After the walk through the park, we also walked through the national park, which is located right across the border between Belgium and the Netherlands. On the walk we encountered some cows (?), that were laying around right on the walking path. No, they didn't run away from their farmer, they just live in the national park. So, we hesitantly walked by the cows, when Mina had the glorious idea to run to the biggest of the cows and pet it. I really thought it would get annoyed or scared and try to attack Mina, but apparently a little human is not scary enough for them, so it let her pet its face. Then a little cow also let me pet it. It was so cute. I even forgot to take a picture of it, but I'm pretty sure one of my pare Jem or Tessa took one. I will ask them. When we finished the walk, we were able to enter the museum again to go all the way up to its roof so we could take a look at the whole are surrounding the building. They also installed these big binoculars where you have to pay a few cents to use it for five minutes. Naturally, that's exactly what Mina wanted to do, so we all took turns with the binocular. There are many fields surrounding the museum and we could even spot some more cows on another field, but I'm pretty sure they were another breed, as they seemed to have black fur.

Then, Mina complained about being hungry, so we ate at the Café, which is located in the same building. We all ordered hot chocolate and some waffles, since Belgium is famous for its waffles. Which they deserve, to be honest.

(Omg, as I'm writing this, I can hear some cats fighting outside of my window. They sound so funny. Haha. Oh no, my laughing scared them away. Sorry, cats.)

Anyways, back to Tuesday. After eating the waffles, we paid, and rode our bikes to the beach, where Mina and I swam in the sea again and collected a lot of shells.There are these beautiful, long onesn that I absolutely have to show you and we even found one that looked like a sunset.

In the afternoon we went back home, where Tessa taught me how to cook spaghetti, while Mina run around the house, very proudly displaying the knowledge of how to pronounce "binoculars" and showed the plush dove, that she bought in the gift shop of the museum around the house. After dinner I was very tired and immediately went to bed. Mina joined me to cuddle and I guess we both fell asleep. Tessa found us and took a photo of us, which I'm not going to show you. Like never ever. It's very embarrassing. I drooled so hard on the cushion. Ew.

(Just found out that one of the fighting cats outside was Church. He looked at me with such an angel face I got another laughing fit. Haha)

On Wednesday morning we decided to do something calm that day, so we just went to the shops and bought some postcards and a small kite for Mina. I also bought a blue cap and a hoodie. Sadly, the only hoodie that would fit me was pink, but since I don't possess any toxic masculinity, I bought it anyway.

Lucky for Mina and her kite, it was very windy, so we went to the beach afterwards and managed to fly the kite. We had packed some sandwiches, so we spend the whole day at the beach and ate ice cream on the way home. After dinner I almost immediately fell asleep again.

Yesterday, we went to Sluis, which is a small town a few kilometres away from Cadzand, where we explored the shops and took a look at the old windmill in the middle of the town. I bought a snow globe in the gift shop. Also, the church there is apparently getting turned into a house to live in, like Shadowhunters do it for their institutes. Maybe it will be an institute some day.

In the afternoon, when we returned home, we saw two bunnies in a garden that looked time they were kissing each other and shortly afterwards a whole bunny family. Obviously I had to take pictures. At home, we wrote post cards for the people we know and when I brought them to the post office, I saw a postcard in a shop with a drawing of two bunnies kissing. I don't know why, but I bought it and another stamp, and WROTE YOU A POSTCARD. Yes. A postcard. No, I don't know what was wrong with me at that moment, but I put it into the postbox before I could rationally think about it and panic. I did that when I returned home. So yeah, if you received a postcard with two kissing bunnies on it, that was me.

Anyways, here are some of the pictures I took in the last days: (loads of bunnies, some of the cows, a windmill and the church I was talking about)

Now I have to go, because we're going to a town called Breskens today.

Lots of love (and kissing bunnies)

Kit ♡

Author's note:

Here I am, back from the dead. And not even on a Monday. Embarrassing. I was so stressed the last few weeks, that I forgot to continue writing. And the next few weeks, I have some exams, so I don't think there will be a lot of updates following this one until September. But don't worry, afterwards I will hopefully update every Monday again.

[supernoondles]

2023

In my haste of class planning and making the most of my time in the bay, as I moved to LA for work in December of 2023, I completely forgot to write my year in review. So now I tell that it was a great year!

It was a year of milestones: I finally finished my PhD and graduated over the summer, spent the fall funemployed and traveling, and the last month moving and preparing for what, at least right now, seems to be my dream job. Yet when things are too good, I harbor a greater fear it could all come falling down.

I write this sitting on a plane from SFO to LAX (wretched airport) because 1) it was conveniently timed with my brother and his fiance (!)’s flight back to the Netherlands, and 2) I had airline credit from when I got COVID and could not make my friend’s wedding in Florida. In 2023 I got a PhD, my brother got a bachelor’s, and I got COVID from my mom when we went to Boston for said brother’s graduation. Last night (which isn't technically 2023, but 2024 starts, for me, when my health insurance card finally arrives in the mail and I get in a classroom with students) I hung out with my friends, who largely live in San Francisco, in the endless Asian strip malls of Union City. “When you get to the suburbs, SF and LA aren't so different,” said a friend. This has helped quell my anxiety about the move: that driving 30 minutes to neon plazas of Rowland Heights was semantically and experientially the same as the imitation mission plazas of the East/South Bay. (Since starting to read City of Quartz, again part of my migration south, I have thought: how funny that the lasting impact of the Spaniards, besides white supremacy, is their architecture. How funny it is that Asian immigrants now occupy these sites of worship.) This year, despite being filled with drama and (claimed) abandonment and reconciliation (or not despite, perhaps because of?) was the year of my mostly queer, entirely Asian diaspora friend group. In LA I believe I will have everything I need except for them (so although I'm scouting, I know what a rarity and a privilege I've had).

To put my move in perspective, I haven't changed geographic regions since I started college. Leaving high school was exciting (I couldn't wait) and for the last decade of my life I've had solid friends and community, as well as my family nearby. Sure, it's just the other major metropolitan area in the same state, but the distance is non trivial! For the first time in my adult life I don't have a reserve of people who are willing to hang out on a moment’s notice. For the first time in my adult life I am also living alone. I have loved the control (especially around having a clean house), but I get lonely very easily.

This year my Canadian partner left the PhD program and moved far away (back to Canada) to my immediate and eminent grief. I'm better now: daily calls help, as does begging for attention, as does turning an old friend into a lover. Japan was a sex vacation. Banff was a sex vacation. Oahu (where my lover’s aunt lives) was a sex vacation. 2023 was the year of having really good sex: public sex in a Petaluma park, sex in a ryokan with paper thin walls, hookups of varying but generally positive quality. As a consequence of my partner leaving, I finally became a real slut. It's been liberating, except for the fact that, even as of writing, I never heard back about my Medicare application so I was fucking uninsured. Out of the many indulgent days of unemployment vacation, two instances have stuck with me: hiking 12 miles while it was snowing in Banff to two teahouses nestled amongst glaciers, and landing at LAX after a sleepless flight from Japan, with a grueling 7 hour drive back to the bay ahead of us.

As I knew I would be leaving the bay area in 2022 (do you sign a year before you start in any industry besides than academia?), in 2023 I whittled away at my bay area bucket list. While I never managed to get up Sutro Tower, I did go to the Fallorons, which, despite my throwing up twice, was everything a birder could have wanted. (I took two boat rides this year, the other at Cape Cod when my brother begged for us to vacate his suffocating studio, and in that one I saw a great white shark attack. How lucky I am!) As usual, I went to many shows. New this year were shows my friends performed in! The past winter had the most rain I’d ever seen in the bay area, so I did a lot of hiking amongst the luscious green east bay hills, which stayed green until May. This made me also really happy, but I don't want my relationship to the bay area (like it is for so many people I know who have moved) to be one defined by lack.

One thing I will not miss, however, is West SF’s fog. This summer, as well as the ending of Daylight Savings time, particularly pushed me to my limits. As I get older my need for two daily hours of direct sunlight exposure grows more dire. The other lowlights of the year were having to replace my phone screen twice, and, after a decade in the bay, finally having my car broken into. I found it ironic that it was not because of petty theft (I also never leave anything in my car), but a TikTok trend encouraging teens to steal Kias and Hyundais. At least they failed with me!

In 2023 I organized a really big (600 people) party for a conference. I wrote a paper with my friends about power dynamics for the same conference (which usually only talks about “technical” things) which was also the last chapter in my thesis. Thanks, advisor, for believing in me. As the party was on Halloween, I hosted a costume contest. The winner for scariest costume was my labmate who put a photo of our advisor (my other one) on a programmable LED screen strapped to his chest.

In 2023 I also started getting paid an hourly wage that made me happy looking at the number doing contract work with an old undergraduate mentor. Beyond this, and the volunteer labor, and the paper/thesis writing, I did not do much of “working” this year: also part of the reason why this year has been awesome.

Thanks to an Asians with dyed hair and pronouns art accountability club, in 2023 I made more art than I had in past years. I did gouachetober and the occasional digital illustration. I did not, however, accomplish what I sought to do during my unemployment: dedicate myself to being a full time artist and making something great. (In retrospect, rest, recuperation, and being excited for my job instead of burnt out from my PhD was the more important goal, and I definitely achieved that!) I feel like one’s relationship to their creative practice is a lifelong evolution (mine certainly is), and at least I had time to slow down and think about how I want that to shape out (the answer which is, more than it has been.) I didn't sew much of significance (a robe with black cat fabric I bought in Japan, a very hungry caterpillar Halloween costume, a Pokémon fanny pack) this year. It was, however, a great year for video games: I really enjoyed Tears of the Kingdom (timed well with my COVID recovery), Super Mario Wonder, Pikmin 4, and I wouldn't say I “enjoyed” it, but I did play the Scarlet Violet DLC. My brother started playing Pikmin Bloom (so I have been playing it more) and I also “play” Pokemon Sleep every night. The best thing I watched was Beef. I listened to a lot of Caroline Polachek.

At a zine making workshop at Sour Cherry I got a 4x6 photo print of a cat that says, Wow! I'm looking forward to the future! That's the energy I'm approaching this new year with (I'm going to hang it in my office for my students). I am looking forward to adopting cats. My only resolution is to work less than 40 hours a week. Recapping how I did with last year's resolutions, I 1) did not really exercise more consistently, but I did run more consistently, and did a 5K with my dad on Thanksgiving! (Middle school me would never imagine.) 2) am unclear if I developed a more methodological way to conduct literature reviews, because my thesis related work was mainly copy/pasted from my old papers, and 3) did very much enjoy my last year in the bay. Here's hoping I can find community, nature, and food (rip China Lounge, I love you so much) as good in LA.

[inpursuitofmeaning]

March 11, 2024

Had hot chocolate with my friend Sophie. So lost in conversation we forgot that we had a journal club with our favourite lab mate Émile. Ran across campus. 8 minutes late. Received his sarcastic French comments. I would expect nothing less. Met with our CAN-RGX team and introduced them to our new member David. David is really cool. I know him from years ago. Secretly want to be his friend more. He has done some really cool things, like solo bike-packing across California, rafting the Grand Canyon, and babysitting in Japan. David is the kind of person that should be writing a blog like this. Did an interview with the university newspaper about our project, which I am leading. Hunter drove me to pick up my parcel. Thanks Hunter. Hunter got his passport pictures taken. "This Staples feels like the backroom" he said. "What's your current phone plan, maybe I can save you some money" the staples employe said. I gazed upon the wall of pastel highlighters. I am just a girl after all. Thought about the bike-packing trip I've been invited to go on this summer. 2000km from the Netherlands to Spain. I should probably text Russell back about that. I want to go with every bone in my body, but I don't think I can afford it. Im not sure if I can afford to go to Virginia (with Hunter, Cass and Sophie) either, or even New York (With Hunter, Kaylen, and Matt) to see the eclipse. The next one won't happen until 2044, and the moon may have exploded by then. at least Im getting paid to go to that conference in Singapore this June. I'll have to go to Korea to see my friends. Im not Korean, but seeking fluency. Speaking of, I should study for my Korean tutoring session on Wednesday. They love their football, which is great because im Manchurian, and it runs through my veins. I hope these blogs will start to get more interesting as I do more things. The life of a PhD student means work and life don't always happen at the right times. 8 pm and studying for the LSAT, but having fun. Listening to LOFI to drown out the hum of the fridge. A glorious reminder that I am now living in a safe apartment, away from the awfully awful basement I lived in before, with bad people, too. But that is over now, and we will look forward. Never look back, it distracts from the now.

[xemptymialife]

Honestly, I think Ilvermorny alone would handle the North American wizard population, as well Castelobruxo with the latinos. USA has a HUGE latino population. The part about cultural differences doesn`t make too much sense to me, since not even in Hogwarts was like that. There were students from all of UK.

Canada is very well known for being a immigration country, theres people from all over the world. Its a mix of cultures, and that`s not a bad thing.

If I`m not mistaken, it was stated somewhere that it exists a spell that make the students understand each other, doesnt matter what language they speak.

I belive that in Castelobruxo would be easier, since it would mostly be portuguese and spanish. From a native portuguese speaker pov, learning and understanting spanish is not that hard. Can`t say the same from native spanish speakers. They could also divide the classes by language, if it was the case.

Idk if this was explained somewhere, but i feel that the wizard community is way smaller that the muggle one. It just makes sense in my head for some reason, I feel like if there was too much wizards in the world, the muggles would be fucked a long time ago lol someone worse than voldemort would pop up from time to time. (it`s just an info that i took straight up from my ass, don`t know if is cannon or not)

I think we will never know exactly how all of these schools works, and if they are infact enough, or if there`s more out there. Tbh, i think the author it`s kinda lazy to developt it, so the only thing we have is our imagination.

For instance, I don`t think that the house format would work in Castelobruxo, like its on Hogwarts or Ilvermorny. I think it would like a normal school, in a sense that students would only be separate by year.

One thing i dont understand tho is why the author created a school for Japan and another one for Russia only. Mahoutokoro only attends japanese wizards, being such a small country, that doesnt make much sense. The other Asian countries are completly forgot. Russia is a big country, but doesnt have a big population like China or India. Accordingly with Harry Potter Wiki, these are the range that the schools reach:

Beauxbatons: France, Spain, Portugal, the Netherlands, Luxembourg and Belgium

Castelobruxo: south america

Durmstrang: mainly Northern and Eastern Europe

Hogwarts: Scotland, England, Ireland, Northern Ireland and Wales

Ilvermorny: north america

Koldovstoretz: Russia

Mahoutokoro: Japan

Uagadou: the whole african continent

Also, homeschool seems like a normal practice between the wizard community, but a muggle born that doesn`t live near none of those could be in trouble or never understand that they are a wizard. I also remember that the author said that are more 3 big wizarding schools somewhere, but she never said where. Some say one them is in Australia.

Another thing that apparently exists its a lot of smaller wizarding schools that are not regulated by the Minister of Magic of their respective country, so not necessarily the whole population of a country or continent will attend one of those big schools.

I wish we could have more detail from these schools, i would love to know how they work and what they enviroment is like.

Do you think 2 wizarding schools is enough for the Americas?

I made a post about Ilvermorny a little while ago, and one of my guesses is (based on the NA population I found) it would house over 54,000 students. Not bad, but even still I think one school for each continent isn't realistic. I could see Ilvermorny housing wizards/witches from the USA (and related territories), but not Mexico and Canada, due to their differing cultures. I'd probably make a wizarding school in Canada (I'd call it Couerderenne, or "Reindeer's Heart" in French; IDK if the name should be English or French; it's English name could be Reinheart), as well as a wizarding school in Mexico that accepted students from all over Central America (I'll call it Ventanagua, based on ventana de agua, or "water window," inspired by a Mexican belief I heard about that throwing a bucket of water out the window signifies throwing out the old year and welcoming in the new).

As for South America, I'd probably put a school in Colombia to represent Spanish-speaking wizarding communities in the continent (I'll call it Amarillaposa, based on Mariposa Amarilla, or yellow butterflies, a symbol of hope and peace in Colombia; perhaps too long a name), as well as keeping Castelobruxo in Brazil (kinda confused on why the name is Portuguese when it was founded before major Portuguese settlement), and since the other non-Spanish-speaking countries are smaller, I'd probably have them go to the schools of the colonial countries (ie Suriname students go to wizarding schools in the Netherlands, Guyana and Falkland Islands in the UK, French Guiana in France, etc.)

How do you think this would work out?

[forabeatofadrum]

Hi, hi @you-remind-me-of-the-babe​ thanks for the tag. It’s a national holiday in the Netherlands, but I’ve never celebrated King’s (or Queen’s) Day, so I am enjoying my day off. The real MVP today is Charlie Spring. Screw the king of the Netherlands, happy 27th birthday Charlie Spring!

I once again come bearing the gifts of Klaine and Snowbaz. First, some Ebb and Flow. I hoped to have finished it by now, but it is still coming together. One more chapter left, folks!

Blaine’s waiting for the door to open and fuck, what is he doing? He’s mentally trying to find a swift escape route. He can move a couple of feet to the right, to his own door, and just bolt. But then Mr. 21 might wonder who knocked on his door. And they live on the fifth floor of an apartment building, so Blaine can’t make Mr. 21 believe that it’s a couple of kids playing around. Besides, he knocked, instead of using the doorbell, which makes it even more obvious that someone is actually in front of the door-

“Oh, hello neighbour.”

Blaine was so stuck in his head that he didn’t even notice Mr. 21 opening the door.

The escape plan is definitely a no-go.

Second, I posted my @co-wipadoption​ fic Call Me Maybe which I’ve written with/adopted from @captain-aralias​, but I actually have a little deleted/alternative scene. I’ll put it under the cut for possible spoilers, together with an explanation and the tags.

This takes place on the day Penny and Shepard went shopping in London. Penny calls after their ramen dinner and Agatha is at her own flat in San Diego, scrolling through Instagram. The call originally went like this:

“Hi!” I hear, “We’re walking back to my flat. Shepard’s here too. Say hi, Shepard.”

“Hi Agatha,” Shepard’s voice is clear and I won’t be surprised if Penelope used a spell for that.

“To answer your question, the fall and winter collection is currently on sale, which is why I am looking at knitwear.”

“Well, that and the whole demon thing,” Shepard says and Penelope hisses at him to be quiet. I think she said something like ‘not in front of Agatha’, and I bark out a laugh.

“Sorry, we know you don’t want to talk about magickal stuff,” Penelope says.

I am home alone, so I don’t have to hide my surprise. Penelope keeps doing all these things for me. I am not used to it.

“It’s fine,” I say, “I actually did some household magic yesterday. Merlin, I forgot how nice that can be.”

“Really?” Penelope sounds surprised.

I automatically get up to retrieve my wand.

“Does this mean we can talk about the curse?” Shepard asks.

I fling my wand without magic.

“Well, I still prefer to live a more Normal life, so I don’t really want to know what kind of trouble you two have gotten yourself into, but,” I sigh, “I am still a mage. I just don’t want every conversation to be about magic.”

“So… no demon?” Shepard asks.

“Preferably not,” I answer, “So. How was the ramen?”

“Fan-tas-tic!” Shepard exclaims.

The main reason I cut this is because of Shepard. In the final scene, Penny tells Agatha about the whole curse thing alone, because they’ve gotten home and Shepard is taking a shower. I decided that I wanted Agatha, Penny and Ginger to be the only characters in the story that got a big role, so I pushed Shep back to the background, where he’s chilling with Simon and Baz. I wanted to focus on Agatha and Penny instead. This is also why I kept writing Shepard out of the story when Agatha and Penny are calling after I cut this. He’s showering! He’s at Pret-A-Manger! He’s out with Simon and Baz!

The reason I added Shepard in the first draft was because I wanted Agatha to pick up on some romantic tension between them during the call, and that would lead to the big ‘are you and Shepard a thing?’ question. But I was very much struggling with how Agatha would pick this up, especially since my aroace ass has difficulties with that too. (Hence why I asked the people on the CO Discord for the eventual Stormchaser scene.) So instead I moved the whole Shepard thing AFTER the events of AWTWB, where Penny can just outright tell Agatha that they’re together. I think this works better.

And another change is the magic thing. In the final scene, Agatha does agree to listening to the curse story. Now that it’s just Agatha and Penelope, they get to talk about how Agatha is opening up to magic again. I didn’t really know how to do that with Shepard around, since Shepard doesn’t know Agatha’s history with magic. 

That’s why I changed it and I think the final scene is better. I got really stuck on this snippet, so I just decided to throw it in the bin all together.

Tagging @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor​ @redheadgleek @urban-sith @mostlymaudlin​ @captain-aralias​ @dragoneggo @otherworldsivelivedin @bookish-bogwitch​ @caramelcoffeeaddict @thnxforknowingme @sillyunicorn @ivelovedhimthroughworse​ @wellbelesbian​ @cutestkilla​ @urban-sith​ @excalisbury​​ @takitalks​ @bazzybelle​ @tea-brigade​ @martsonmars​ @facewithoutheart​ @captain-aralias​​​

[painless-innit-colourful]

Hi everyone, it's Crim, back again with our Eurovision commentary for the night. Coming at you from: one Eurovision superfan, one dance teacher, one former professional dancer, and the dog we scared every time we screamed. Here we go!

Czech Republic: She's really changing it up, huh.

Romania: We spent two and a half minutes talking about sexualsation in dance and that man's ruffled shirt.

Portugal: That was very beautiful.

Finland: The musical equivalent of The Smiler ride at Alton Towers. Director of Cinematography really said "YES WE CAN DO THAT FOR YOU."

Switzerland: We thought that resembled a charity advert song. Also, why are all the costumes too big.

France: And we are summoning something in this Eurovision tonight. My aunt just let out an unholy scream. I'm slightly scared for her.

Norway: That felt like a fever dream. We're all reeling from the lyrical genius of "Before that wolf eats your grandma, someone give that wolf a banana."

Armenia: Graham Norton made a remark about this one being the reason the UK had no toilet paper early in the pandemic, and it killed us for the whole song. Can we vote for the tech team to win.

Italy: Good *heavens* that was awful. We will discuss it no further. Was nice to hear the crowd singing though.

Spain: Well that was phenomenal. What a singer, what a dancer, she rocked it! Best choreography and staging of the night so far.

Netherlands: Is it just me or are pop songs getting more predictable.

Ukraine: A true Eurovision banger. None of those people looked like they were dancing to the same song, but man did they dance dance. I expect pink woolen bucket hats to be the trend by Monday. (We also really want to know what they're singing about.)

Germany: No wonder they had to go to the presenters for that change-over: they had to get the carpets on. The German Eminem.

Lithuania: As my aunt said, "Jessica Rabbit meets Liza Minelli. [...] She should audition for the [candlestick] in Beauty and the Beast. [...] Bit of Twiggy as well." This woman has turned both my aunt and my mom gay. She is my favourite so far. Who is she. I am very gay.

Azerbaijan: That wasn't a dance, that was pilates/a battle between a man and his rogue, evil doppelganger. Nice voice.

Belgium: Ehhhhhhh (I was out getting brownies. Why are they putting all the ballads together.) Why does no one's shoes match the rest of their outfits tonight. Why is there always a Bond Theme-ish one.

Greece: Goodness that was beautiful. The staging was cool, but just the song on it's own. A memorable ballad, and that's not something I'd say often.

Iceland: Thank goodness the ballads are over.

Moldova: Beastie Boys with 80% more acordian. Moldova is 30 years behind the rest of Europe and I ran out of words to describe that one mid-performance.

Sweden: No shoes this time. Costume department is having an evening. My aunt made a comment about how hard you would have to slam your head on the floor to change the lights and I lost it.

Special Mention to the Presenter Moment Where One of the Norweigan Wolves Attempted to Kidnap Mika.

Australia: Eh. It's no ice queen on an oscillating stick.

UK: WE MIGHT ACTUALLY STAND A CHANCE HOLY SH!!!!! THAT WAS REALLY GOOD I FORGOT I WAS WATCHING THE UK ENTRY!! That was such a jam - rock, ballad, good staging, great costume, great singing!!

Special Mention to Mika Getting Lost, Saying Romania was Spain and Misreading His Autocue, Announcing Holland to be Next.

Poland: Current theory on the couch is that the costume department this year only has five pairs of shoes and keeps needing to run them between acts. While are they all so big. Why was that so wet.

Serbia: That was. A lot of things. It felt like a cross between a bad GCSE Drama devised piece, a dystopian hygiene advert, and whatever they meant by "God has abandoned us" or whatever it was.

Estonia: A fun bop to conclude. Funky little hop down across the stage.

[emptymasks]

I’ve seen a lot about your thoughts on Elisabeth and Tanz der Vampire, and they’ve been really helpful getting into those musicals! But you have a huge list of other musicals that people can get into…

So I was wondering if you had any musicals you hadn’t mentioned in a while that you really like or would like to talk about??? (preferably something from your lists that has a blue heart please?)

Oh if only you knew how long the list of European musicals really is... I however have only seen 9 (if I counted right) and I have a lot more that I still need to watch. Oh also, I only put the blue hearts on any musicals that I was providing multiple links for so people could see which version I reccoment the most highly. If a musical only had one link and didn't have a blue heart it doesn't mean I didn't like it.

I've watched: Mozart das Musical, Elisabeth das Musical, Tanz der Vampire, 3 Musketiers, Mozart L'Opéra Rock, Dracula (the Graz production), Rebecca das Musical, Roméo et Juliette and Schikaneder.

If you enjoyed those two you're likely to enjoy Rebecca! It's written by the same composer/lyricist team as Elisabeth and Mozart (and same lyricist as Tanz der Vampire - though if you're listening to any German musical, original or translated, 90% of the time the lyrics will have been done by Michael Kunze that man is everywhere). The Stuttgart production has my favourite set design of any musical! Well... Actually probably. There are so many big set pieces it's insane, way more than I've seen in some Broadway and West End musicals. You can tell so much work went into it and the visual effects that I won't spoil if you don't know the plot but if you know the plot you know what I mean by the effects at the end are so good and I didn't expect them at all and I freaked out so much the first time I watched it. Jan Ammann as Maxim in the Stuttgart production is the best Maxim. No I won't take any argument. Other actors feel a bit one-dimensional to me, but the way Maxim acts at times comes from trauma and some actors and productions seem to forget that, but Jan really goes for it and his Maxim is a lot more sympathetic and I just want to give him a hug. Pia Douwes as Mrs Danvers, if you've seen her in Elisabeth what more do I need to say, she's amazing. A musical goddess. Her Danny is a bit more wild than some, but she kills it. My favourite video, which I put the blue heart next to, has understudy Christina Patten as Ich/I, but I adore her she's my favourite. She adds some spunk to Ich in act 2 and her voice is so pretty and aaaa. I just love these three actors together in these roles.

Roméo et Juliette is another favourite of mine! It's hard to choose which one to recommend, but it has to be the original 2000/2001 production because of the sweetness and chemistry and voices of Damien Sargue and Cecilia Cara as Romeo and Juliet. They're so pretty and work together so well. The only reason I say it's hard to pick is Mercutio. I adore him, but in the original production they cut out a song they had planned for him and he doesn't really do much at all? In the 2010 revival they gave him two more songs and you care about him so much more and John Eyzen plays such a good Mercutio. So I'd recommend the original but if you want to like Mercutio more, which you should he's amazing, I'd recommend watching at least clips of John's. It's an interesting musical because all productions are non-replica and also change around the order of songs, add or take away characters, all sorts. The Hungarian production is also very popular and I'm sure it's great, I just haven't' gotten around to watching it yet.

Mozart das Musical was the first non-English language musicals I watched so I have a fondness for it, but it's not my favourite. However, I do realise I have forgotten most of the songs and the few I've gone back and listened to are better than I remember.

Dracula isn't super popular and I understand why, I don't love the plot of the Dracula/Mina romance in it, however. I do love this musical because despite how I find the plot lacking, the songs are so good! At least, I love them. And the actors are all doing a great job. And it's one of the few Dracula adaptions to keep Quincy Morris so they get bonus points for that.

Mozart L'Opéra Rock and modern French musicals... This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but they're often more like pop-rock operas now. So if you're not into musicals with that style of music it might not be for you, but I still enjoyed it even though I didn't think I would because of the style of music. Mozart and Salieri's chemistry is very good, Salieri's bisexual crisis song is iconic, actually all of Salieri's songs are iconic.

Schikaneder... eh. I didn't like it that much and I didn't really like any of the songs. There's no English subtitles, but someone sent me the entire English synopsis and I watched it with a German friend so I had double the help of understanding it. Doesn't mean others might not like it, just none of the songs stood out to me and I had no desire to listen to any of them again. It's by Steven Scharwz of Wicked fame and I love Wicked, but I didn't love this.

3 Musketiers!! God it's so underrated and not spoken about within the European musical fandom that I even forget about it and literally forgot to write about it earlier in this post. It's a Dutch musical (though did also have a German production) and it's really good!? Faces you might know are Pia Douwes as Milady de Winter, Stanley Burlseon as Cardinal Richeliu (Netherlands Der Tod in Elisabeth), Henk Poort as Athos (Netherlands Phantom and Jean Valjean). The dialgoue is funny, the songs are good, some of the set pieces have no right to exist in this tiny musical?? They made this giant boat and pelt the actors with rain just for one 5 minute song and then we never see the boat again? And while I recommend the Dutch one because Dutch musicals deserve more love and it has official English subtitles!! Official ones, not fanmade! I have the DVD and it comes with English subtitles (and Dutch and German subtitles) which is so nice. The German version is also good, good cast, Pia came back and Uwe Kroger as Richeliu and omg they rearranged the songs and the German arrangement of Nicht Aus Stein is insane and amazing and frankly iconic.

That's all of the ones I have watched. Next on my list to watch are Rudolf and Notre Dame de Paris, both of which I have listened to some songs from and already love (I've listened to way too much of Notre Dame de Paris and am so in love).

I want to start organising streams where I'll host the musical either by getting the video from Youtube or my own files and anyone who wants to join can come along and watch with us, chat with us if you want or just watch there's no pressure to chat. I thought about doing weekly streams? This would also make me finally watch some of the ones I've been meaning to for ages. But I keep wondering about time zones. I'm in the UK and would want to stream at about 11pm at the latest (11pm BST/GMT+1 as we’re in daylight savings at the moment, if the streams continue past the end of October which would be wild then I’ll make a note of the time change that would be to 11pm GMT), which I know can work for other UK and Europeans, but for any Americans would be in the afternoon. So, I wondered if doing it on a weekend would be better? Then it doesn't matter if it's in the afternoon? Maybe Saturday evenings then? It would either be Saturday evenings UK time or Friday evenings UK time. What do you guys think? If people are down then I'll make a separate post with a list of what we'll be watching each week and if anything happens to me that means I can't stream one week then everything will just get pushed back a week, but I don't see that as likely to happen. And I'll only be streaming those that have English subtitles, so don't worry about not being able to understand anything.

edit: am also open to 10pm bst if others want that, im just trying to think of what time works best for everyone so sorry if 11pm is a little late for europeans, i know 10pm could be a little early for americans. also in case it sounded like these are the only musicals i will be streaming, thats not so, ive got more than just the ones mentioned on this list!

(Tagging some people who I know are or might be interested in streams to see what you think of that plan: @sirona-art @ringwraith100 @tanz-der-trash @smilingwoland @the-weird-dane @witchgaye @ami-fidele @kisstheghouls @looking-4-happiness @ladysapphire928 @sloanedestler @tinywound @persephonaae @phoenixdewinter @uwucoffee @freshbloodandgothicism )