#i for one certainly forgive him
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(Major S-Class Heroine spoilers)
ok idk if im mischaracterising tesilid but like. tesilid in my head is such a funny guy because he went fuck this shit im tired of living and the world wont let me die in peace so ill destroy it so NEITHER of us can exist and he becomes a mass murderer and puts his entire heart into it. and he's like teehee since this will be the last round i'll just have fun committing some (many) atrocities, but then when it doesn't work out he goes uhh hey god if you're actually out there. that wasn't very nice of me, sorry. i'll be good this time. and he genuinely means it 😭 both times. when he destroyed the world and when he said whoops that was a shit idea nevermind wont try that again. like he's beating himself up for it and when things go wrong he blames it on his sins, like does that sound like a thoroughly evil person to you. it's like he was just being a little silly and committed a whoopsie when he was off destroying the world yaknow like that wasn't really him that was just a slip of judgement when the chaos and evil got him at his very fucking worst and had zero support. it just so happened that this "slip of judgement" occured over an extended period of time and he did actively pursue it for a while but like
#s-class heroine spoilers#mash potato#roast potato#i for one certainly forgive him#its ok tesilid we all make mistakes. especially when under the crushing pressure of having no one to talk to and 99 traumatic deaths and#divine certainty of having no future and no end#also i think it's very nice that when he was destroying the world he seems to enjoy it#as opposed to how dead-eyed he prob was when he was going thru the motions of saving the world#we all need some variety in our jobs yknow!#i think it's fair that he gets a little silly once in 100 lives#^ everything above is as from my drafts#is he evil is he good is he just a normal guy i cant tell#he is such a fun char he contains such multitudes#also tesilid applying the concept of sin to himself is kind of sad because#he never believes in the strict order rewarding him#but he sure as hell believes it would punish him#did i already post some variation of this post??? i feel like i have#anw penned aug 22
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there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.
like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?
and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?
the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)
#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into.#anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what?#because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time.#i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore.#and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part#which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth#like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen#and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love)#i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love#like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life.#and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad-#and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do#because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far)#anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot.#succession
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The Man Who Killed Jason Foreman
#Cyberpunk 2077#Phantom Liberty#Phantom Liberty Spoilers#Johnny Silverhand#Hnurrg no thoughts head empty except for Johnny's thoughts during the Leon Rinder gig#Setting him up directly as a light mirror to Rinder to the point that their names are literally one letter off from each other#Linder and Rinder -- L and R; aka Left and Right-- two branching paths#Allowing Rinder to serve as the look into a future where Johnny never deserted and kept falling deeper and deeper into his own trauma#And basically having the entire mission serve (in my eyes) as an echo of both your thoughts on Johnny's past life as a soldier#Do you forgive the boy or do you kill the man#(For all my prose this choice was NOT hard for me lol I shot him right in the face without hesitation lol)#Johnny doesn't buy Rinder's pleas for remorse and I think you could read a lot into that; whether he sees a shade of himself there#I certainly do#Aldi speaks
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SEASON 5 OF HOUSE IS SO FUCKING CRAZY
#ppl keep telling me theyre watching it now bc i wont shut up abt it and i cannot put into words how ECSTATIC that makes me#but im wondering if i shld tag spoilers now#ngl it’s such a good show even if you know things abt it it’ll still hit u#but i certainly wld rather be surprised#anyway. spoilers. season 5. the hostage situation. house handing the gun back. him nearly dying bc he’s taking methadone on top of the#vicodin. him throwing away his cane bc he’s not in pain for once. quitting the methadone bc he made one (1) mistake and can’t forgive#himself bc he has to be medically right or he has nothing.#also thirteen and foreman. im so bisexual.#cuddy and her baby. cuddy firing house for the methadone then seeing how much it helps him and offering the job back. her wanting him to#take it but house refusing#wilson and house. as always.#shoutout to kutner also. my beloved.#OUVGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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MacGyver (2016) s3e15 K9 + Smugglers + New Recruit | Cold Open
#macgyver#macgyver 2016#video#angus macgyver#desiree nguyen#desi#mac#cold opens#3x15#queue#EDIT: meant to queue this for tomorrow but I guess today it is. have a bonus cold open for today#ok I was so prepared to dislike her by default just bc I was so disappointed at jack being essentially replaced but#god this scene is so fun to me. I really. REALLY loved her right off the bat#cocky badass beautiful woman breaks into his home and berates him for 2 minutes straight? what's not to love#also they remembered the lake como scar. which is cool#esp because they didnt in the casino heist ep but whos counting#certainly not me#EDIT: stop reading the tags here if you want to avoid me ranting about the writers choices lmfao#if only they didn't go down the needless romance route. things could have been so fun *clenching my fists and crying* we couldve had it all#the romance wasnt EVEN WELL WRITTEN. dysfunctional ass relationship if ive ever seen one. which I have#sorry sorry. and no hate to those that ship macdesi obviously but. how they characterized her in the following seasons made me seethe#THEY DID HER SO DIRTY AND ILL NEVER FORGIVE THE WRITERS FOR IT. actually I don't think there's a single character in seasons 4-5 they didn'#just absolutely butcher at least once. it is so abysmal#OK SORRY HAD TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST sorry folks. we're back to fun happy goodtimes now
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mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW
#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again.#sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does#like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful#while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child#like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all.#imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child#only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you#his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you#agree deep down#and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept#but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide#and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke#and you discarded it and got a new one#and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow#and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it#until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly#and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different#and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child#and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da#and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand#but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs!#so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee#his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing#and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately.#but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when.#like. imagine that. jesus dude.#like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love#or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do#with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here.#but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like
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ok but like WHAT DID APOLLO MEAN BY THIS???? SAVED HIS NECK WHEN?!?????
The only time I can think of is Pheonix interjecting in the first trial of aa4 bc Apollo hadn't put it together yet/didn't have the confidence to accept the truth yet, but other than that??????? When tf has Pheonix ever saved him??????
#ace attorney#apollo justice#spirit of justice#one thing i really dont like abt the later ace attorney games is that they do shit like this and im just like. What.. are you talking abt 😭#that Didn't Happen. he would not sau that..#Like. idk#They act like Pheonix has always been this righteous heroic mentor to Apollo when that is VERY MUCH not the case ansbsjbdjshd#to me Apollo might forgive but he will never ever ever forget so like.... sjdvsjbd#he might not /hate/ him anymore but he certainly doesn't respect him the way Athena does#and he doesnt like him the way former witnesses etc. might. He's one of the few people in the cast that DON'T see Pheonix as their savior#or someone they 'owe one' to. AND hes on the protagonists side. His standout perspective on the world and the way his relationships with#everyone in his cast differ from Pheonix is why hes my fav AA protag#so like. I Don't Like This it bothers me A LOT haha
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my mother is absolutely convinced of some nonsense conspiracy theory that (in her words) "originally humanity lived in peaceful all-woman societies of goddess worshippers who took care of eachother and lived in harmony, while males were roving loners that had no society and never cooperated. that changed when the men banded together and overthrew the peaceful woman-dominated societies, and enslaved us all." and, according to her, this is proof that a woman-dominated world would be innately more peaceful, and that men are innately violent and evil and should be either barred from holding any legal power or leadership roles or at least should be (again in her words) "gelded like bulls" to remove their testosterone before even being considered for such a thing.
she also evidently believes that the problem with all religions today is primarily that they aren't "goddess worshippers", because she seems to think goddess religions are inherently peaceful and pure too and seems to be especially obsessed with "Isis" in particular. the very very few times she's openly considered it unambiguously bad for some population or another to have been exterminated (she's got a bad case of devil's advocating genocide brain), she's gone out of her way to make up some crap about how said people were a peaceful society of goddess-worshippers, almost always of isis. delusions of isis-worship seem to be the only thing that ever causes her to consider any arab or middle-eastern culture, society, or ethnicity to be relatively uncomplicatedly undeserving of extermination, in fact, because every fucking time she doesn't immediately start devils-advocating it and making remarks about how "the rest of the world should box them in and let them blow eachother up" it's when she's whinging on about how whatever specific micro-ethnicity she's thinking about are or were traditional persecuted isis-worshippers.
the sole major exception to her weird fixation on isis worship justifying worthiness of life is the whole israel thing going on, in which she has consistently made very obvious that literally the only reason she's against the genocide of palestine is because it gives her an excuse to even more openly hate jewish people than she already did. and honestly i'm not sure even that's true because i think she's made some offhand remarks about palestinians having probably been peaceful isis worshipers before the jews infected them with christianity or something anyway.
so for the last, however fucking long it's been i've been constantly having to listen to her go off about how this behavior is in the jew's blood or whatever and that they literally invented all genocide because somehow the concept didn't exist before them and wouldn't have ever been invented by the rest of humanity without those jewish aliens dropping it in i fucking guess apparently and she furthermore goes on about how every single genocide and mass-oppression movement in history is directly inspired by them, ESPECIALLY the nazis, and THEN i have to listen to her rant about how, basically, wwii was something they entirely brought on themselves by "dominating the economy and treating everyone not them like shit" and the nazis were just "using their own tactics back at them". and then she goes on a rant about how the people the original jews exterminated back in the day (aka the first ever genocide, which they invented, because jews invented genocide and hate according to her) in the middle east region were peaceful matriarchal isis-worshipers.
and then she starts making comments about arabs being backwards and palestinians either being mysogynist muslims that should be boxed in to blow eachother up with everyone else or secret peaceful isis worshippers corrupted by men's cruel hand, sometimes in the same sentence, entirely dependent on which group she's more in the mood to hate at the time.
it's exhausting. beyond exhausting. her sole purpose in existence seems to be to have the singularly most exhausting set of politics physically possible to fit into one person.
just, sometimes i think, if there really is anything at all to the incredibly stupid and inexplicably popular idea that anyone or anything has a Purpose tm to exist for, i feel like my mother's purpose is to be walking proof to me of a Type Of Guy That Is Real, cause i sure as fuck would have trouble inventing this mess if it wasn't standing right in front of me spewing confusingly bipartisan hate. all of her thoughts and opinions are these long winding nonsense chains that feel like if that man carrying thing sketch about the friend with confusing politics was a person. on meth.
#and sometimes i feel like she just believes whatever will allow her to hate and feel innately superior to the most people#the fact that this woman considers herself a leftist#... well. given what this country just voted for it looks unfortunately likely that she IS in fact a fairly average example of a leftist#and therefore i have zero remaining hope for or particular desire to save humanity#actually it kind of feels like the only reason she really aligns herself with “the left” is because she's a female supremacist#and the left is the closest thing to a movement in that direction compared to the only current alternate party's “lets undo women's rights”#and also she inexplicably hates trump despite constantly devils-advocating for him and how he “has some good ideas”#and yes she does specifically mean about immigrants and the wall. one of her staunchest positions is pro-closed borders#honesty if trump was a woman and not a misogynist sex pest i think she would like him a lot. even despite his blatant ignorance of economic#she's also a big “anti-wokeist” type and we can barely watch any movies anymore without her whining about there being black people in them#and then she's like “PEOPLE ONLY DON'T WANT TO WATCH MOVIES WITH ME BECAUSE MY THEORIES ARE ALWAYS RIGHT AND THEY'RE JEALOUS OF HOW SMART”#she's nominally anti-corporation but in practice tends to come down on their side and is also staunchly against student loan forgiveness#because she thinks that “anyone who's stupid enough to do that deserves it”#and “it would be a slap in the face to ME and everyone else that had to pay”#and “kids these days don't want to develop healthy financial habits so they can SAVE for things. i SAVED for it and i know how HARD it is”#the way she often talks i also increasingly feel like the only actual reason she hates christianity is because she's a female supremacist#especially since she regularly goes on about biblical things as if they're real and complains that god either must be a woman#because “only women can create”#or that god CLEARLY is a man because he's destructive and evil and Destruction is a Man Thing That All Men And Only Men Innately Do#and likes to talk about how “jesus said he would come back as the least of us so he would be a woman”#and then goes on to describe a woman that sounds suspiciously like her. or at least her perception of herself#she's also said that if she wasn't straight she would be a political lesbian by choice because she hates men so much#and has tried repeatedly to bitch at me about men in an “eyyy amirite sister” kind of way#and got mad when i didn't fancy the idea of sitting there joking with her about half the species being barely-sentient cancer nodes#but she ALSO identifies as sapiosexual despite having the most vanilla housewife smut book taste ever#but ALSO she considers every single other sexuality aside from straight and gay to be made up woke mental illness nonsense!#so according to her the only orientations are “normal”. gay. and sapiosexual. and SOMETIMES bi (but no pan or poly).#i'm fairly sure she's convinced asexuality isn't real and is just repression. she certainly acts like i never said anything every time.#unless she's explosively yelling at me for “always bringing it up” when i tell her to stop making jokes about me being attracted to things#and she thinks anything other than monogamy is “selfish” and “exists only for men to abuse women”. especially muslim and arab men.
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bianca di angelo really projected HER fatal flaw on her brother and we all just accepted it.
#if we had just gotten a little bit more about her we would have seen her holding grudges like no other#she would have resented so much about the demigod world and HADES omg daddy issues girl#ok maybe nico also holds grudges but i think to a lesser extent and TBH his main grudge has always been the one against bianca#other than that ???? percy???? that was certainly a thing but it was so tied to his grudge against bianca that well it IS about bianca#and i mean. an argument can be made about nico being more forgiving bc bianca WARNED HIM but i don't buy that completely#i think he can have tendencies towards it but it's not really him and at the end of the day he can take a step back and see the big picture#but the bianca situation was MASSIVE he needed years to be able to take enough steps back to finally understand and see what led bianca to#her choices#anyways. nico di angelo ur fatal flaw is not grudges.#stubborn maybe??? jealous??? he's a lot actually idk what word would encapsulate his character best#i think he would meet his end bc he's stubborn tho. i think he doesn't know when to stop and THAT will kill him.#but i think all of this ties to the fact that he feels guilty. even in tsats they discuss this and i do think that is truly the core of nico#he feels guilt over what he has done and didn't get to do and even for others#can guilt be a fatal flaw?? if it can i'll take that one for nico
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Has anyone written an AU where Snow stuck around in district 12 as a peacekeeper instead of returning to the capital and was there in Katniss’s time?
#I feel like he’d rise to head peacekeeper#and be a lot less forgiving than Cray was and more like Thread from catching fire#but also he’d be the type to play favorites#i feel like I could see him choosing to overlook katniss’s hunting (and gayle by association) and whipping someone else for the same crime#Lucy probably stuck around in this au since the fight with snow in the woods wouldn’t have happened#but they certainly aren’t lasting long#especially not if he does make head peacekeeper and she can’t convince herself he’s a better person than he is#when he’s the one instigating the policies#and if she left him I think that would make his favoritism of katniss all the more interesting (and creepy)#if she is still with him it’s cause she’s afraid to get out#hunger games#abosas
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playing leyla today did nothing but hurt me 🫠
#sequence of events from my play today:#1. the dream guardian appears in the form of leyla's bf. who she hasn't known the fate of since she was yoinked#2. leyla takes this to mean that traven died. she takes her anger out on some goblins.#3. tiefling party time! astarion immediately propositions her. she's sober enough to know what she's agreeing to but tipsy enough to say ye#anything to distract her from realizing she's lost what she thought was her soulmate. or one of them at least#4. they fuck. it's almost good enough to forget traven exists for the night. almost#5. LITERALLY THE NEXT NIGHT the guardian appears again. it's like a twist to the gut. she doesn't know what to believe#the guardian says he's an adventurer like her. that he was infected. leyla has HOPE#but she can't help but feel like there's something wrong. that it's just her mind playing tricks on her.#after all... the others are having similar dreams. certainly this couldn't be traven...#aaaand i closed down immediately after that long rest bc i was emotionally compromised#whoops i accidentally wrote a novel in the tags#forgive me i am Sad#i still intend her to romance gale btw!!#leyla just deals with her emotions. physically. and astarion was down soooo#plus she let him bite her neck so she could be a bit more out of it#leyla needs fantasy therapy tbh#moxie plays bg3
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The funny (not funny) thing is that even tbh Kendall would have plenty of justification for speaking out about the shitty parts of his father since Logan did, y'know. Hit Kendall's kid. But Kendall in the end is also a shitty dad so the idea of being outraged permanently about that is not even in his mind
#succession#succession spoilers#like i have issues with my dad for various reasons i wont get into#but when /his/ dad made me cry one time#he cut out contact for awhile. and even when they ket up he said he would never forgive him for that#like he would forgive him for the stuff his dad did to him when he was younger#but not for making me cry#anyway kendall would be completely justified in making that event clear. but its not about logan not really#and its certainly not about the truth
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I'm finishing up the Belgian gp(2005) rn and I was gonna put this commentary in the tags of my post-race highlights post, but it would be like, a giant paragraph, so I'll just put my commentary in these tags lol bcs I need to ramble abt this cause it's actually insane to me
#so okay rn im absolutely baffled rn abt how mclaren has basically made the same exact mistake 3x in one season#like the accuracy of them fumbling on exactly the 2nd-3rd to last lap consistently is so wild????#like tell me its not morbidly impressive the way theyve managed to make the same mistake 3x???? its just insane to me#down to the exact detail of montoya letting fernando into p2 twice and kimi letting him into p1#even the commentators were like "wait wtf isnt this the exact same situation as turkey???' and im yelling at my screen I KNOW RIGHT#to quite literally quote them he said#'almost a carbon copy of turkey then. running 3rd. behind montoya. mclaren up for a 1-2. doesnt work out that way. alonso picks up 2nd.'#kimi in the european gp is forgiveable bcs absolutely no one could have predicted his axel just noping out#but BRUH montoya how the hell are you gonna make the exact same mistake twice down to the exact detail?????#haha tho i love nando saying smth in the press conference like: 'well mclaren is certainly helping me'#catie.rambling.txt
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today is a weird day when i finally snapped at my father and decided to tell him everything i think about him and how much i hate him and how much his actions have affected me, also kinda came out as bi, really wild day.
#he had oddly enough a 'good' reaction#and by that i mean he didnt threaten to kick me out#also didnt expect the token homophobe of the family to just go 'ok' to me saying that#i never had a crush on a boy but certainly had few on girls#but for the whole thing happy that he understands that he behaved like an asshole and probably forever ruined my brain#not forgiving tho he will feel the consequences of teaching me that 'people dont change' and 'never forgive those who hurt you'#not doing it out of spite i just physically cant bring myself to forgive him#vent/rant#happy (?) one tho#tw abusive parents
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can I request house wardens + leech twins with a reader who doesn't eat enough bc Crowley doesn't give them enough for food, and they end up really ill and collapsing or something. I'm cravin some fluffy comfort rn, pls and thank you 🙏
I got you🫡🫡 as someone who's been through an eerily similar situation, I really liked this request
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ another crowley moment™️
type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, leona, azul, floyd, jade, kalim, vil, idia, malleus additional info: romantic or platonic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, mentions of food and not eating
Riddle wouldn't even have to like you to rush to your side. but he does like you, which makes it all the worse
after checking your vitals, you're in the infirmary. he's got doctors for parents, after all, and he knows that malnutrition is bad
he should have seen the signs...
with exams coming, he's been so busy, and he assumed that you were just tired from studying
but he can feel guilty later. right now, he needs to focus on you getting well again, and not killing Crowley
(then, of course, he'll look for some legal statute or clause that he can threaten Crowley with so you're fed properly)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona noticed you'd been acting a little weird lately, but watching you collapse still puts him in shock
luckily, Ruggie and Jack are nearby to help you to the infirmary, so Leona can focus on hunting Crowley down like an animal
there are very few times where Leona is particularly grateful for his status, but this is one of them. just one word on how his family will be hearing about Crowley's neglect, and the old bastard is begging him for forgiveness
even after that, Leona still sends Ruggie with snacks and drinks to Ramshackle
and if you ever scare him like that again, you'll regret it (lovingly)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
the news of you collapsing during flight lessons reaches Octavinelle rather fast. no one is particularly surprised, since Floyd had mentioned how easily you'd been bruising lately just the night before, but everyone is certainly worried
Azul is the first at your side, asking you all sorts of questions, worried sick. Jade has to remind him to give you space to rest, since you look exhausted (had you always had those dark circles? how could Azul have not noticed?)
now, Azul and the tweels could easily find a way to pressure Crowley, but they know better than to trust him
from now on, you'll be eating in the Mostro Lounge, free of charge
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
perhaps Kalim was just oblivious, because he really didn't think anything was wrong until you were suddenly on the floor in front of him
sure, you'd been a little moody lately, but he figured it was just a thing you were going through. and besides, you know that you can talk to him about anything... right?
Jamil hurries to check your pulse, and shouts for him to get the school nurse- which is jarring, because Jamil never shouts
when you explain everything to Kalim later, he feels... terrible. he should've known- no, he should've asked
Kalim insists you stay at Scarabia while you're recovering, and makes sure you have the most enriching, delicious meals money can buy
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Vil knew it was bad, but not this bad. if he had known you were on the verge of collapsing, he would've taken a firmer approach to getting you to eat
you're going to worry him to death someday, you know that?
after he's done verbally eviscerating Crowley, he'll insist on joining you at every meal. he'll eat at Ramshackle, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, if that's what it takes
he's subtle about it, at least
if he notices that your plate feels empty, he'll just take some food from his and put it on yours. gracefully, elegantly, without a word
you'll come home one day to see your kitchen stocked with vitamins, supplements, and apples (courtesy of Epel)
<3 and a note that says he'll treat you to dinner whenever you want
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
never scare Idia like that ever again. he wasn't even with you when you collapsed, and he STILL nearly had a heart attack
listen, he knows he's not a great role model when it comes to nutritional eating, but you have got to tell him these things. he would've had Ortho go get takeout! or something!
typical Crowley behavior, SMH. what does he think you are? a rabbit? even the school horses get treated better...
no way that Idia is going to even bother with that old fart, anyway. you want something? he'll get it for you. you don't even have to ask, he'll just send food to your place (and have Ortho check your vitals more often but shhh)
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
I would not want to be in the room when Malleus finds out about this
not even the building. you know what? I'd steer clear of the whole island, because it will not be pretty
when you collapse in front of him, it feels like he's dying, too. the panic sets in, and he sends Lilia to look after you, and Silver and Sebek to escort you to the infirmary, and then he casually threatens to smite Crowley. obviously
if the students and staff of NRC thought Malleus was scary just being Malleus, he's terrifying when he's mad
(rest assured that you will be getting ten times the amount of food from now on)
it's thunderstorms for days after, but he never leaves your side
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#queued#riddle rosehearts x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader
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i'm down on my knees, i wanna take you there
summary: you are suiting up for your first mission, the only problem being everyone "forgot" (intentionally withheld) this information from Logan wc: 2.3k a/n: thank you thank you so much for all of your support about my other Logan fic!! I am really enjoying writing for him, and have a few ideas for this Logan as well as some for Worst!Wolverine aka Deadpool 3!Logan as well! More info about empath!reader's powers and her role at the school in this one <3 warnings: slight (incredibly) slight angst, protective!Logan, a bit of a hurt comfort vibe, Ororo, Scott and Jean are meddlers this is the previous fic with these two, not required reading at all, though!
The leather was cool and surprisingly soft against your skin. There had never been reason for you to have to accompany a mission requiring one of the suits before, and you were shocked at how comfortable the uniform was. Typically, when you were asked to help with a mission, you were there for intel. Scope the place out, get a read on the general vibe of the place. Your powers didn’t provide the same level of protection as laser eyes or a strong regenerative healing factor. You would typically arrive with Rogue, in clothes from your own closet and one of the least fancy cars from the garage. You would slip in, get your read, and get out.
It wasn’t that you didn’t want to help, you just lacked the training that the other members of the team had. And after all, someone had to stay back to mind things at the school. When Charles had approached you a few months ago about some possible applications for your mutation that would come in handy on missions, you’d been hesitant. It was so outside of your comfort zone to load yourself onto a jet that you’d never even considered the possibility. You were far more comfortable in the library where you held English classes for the students, or helping Charles keep students calm while exploring their powers. Neither scenario included the possibility of a lot of violence.
Ororo helped you finish zipping yourself into the suit, smoothing her hands along the sleeves before giving you a final nod of approval. Jean and Scott granted you small smiles and you did your best to look as confident as you knew they felt.
They’d promised it was a simple mission, the kind they usually took students on when Charles felt they were ready to join the team, if that’s what they decided to do after wrapping up their schooling. Charles had heard word of a young mutant who had some kind of telekinetic powers and had recently had an eruption while at school. Everyone agreed that it would be best to find them and convince them to return to the school for some training with as little force as possible, only expedited by the fact that Charles had found them hungry and afraid after running away from home using Cerebro. In the past, the kids had been resistant due to huge amounts of fear, causing them to lash out. You knew they were right that your powers would be useful at times like these, and if you were able to help in any way you were inclined to.
“The fuck do you think you’re doing to her?” You sighed. It wasn’t that you were all conspiring to keep this a secret from Logan. It wasn’t a discussion that you’d had to agree on group espionage. It just seemed that all of you had a sort of understanding that it might be better to ask forgiveness rather than permission. Not that you needed permission.
Logan looked furious, and what’s worse, he felt furious. You and Charles had been working to extend your powers over further distances, no longer needing to touch someone directly to know how they feel. Though it certainly doesn’t hurt matters. You’d sensed him upstairs, seemingly pacing around and seething. You’d hoped one of the kids had gotten on his nerves, or something on tv had set him off. You could see that was foolish now.
“We aren’t doing anything to her,” Scott had his visor on, blocking his eyes from view, but you didn’t need to see to know that he was rolling his eyes. “She’s chosen to accompany us on a mission.”
“A small mission!” Ororo chimed in, doing her best to give Logan a reassuring smile.
You checked back in with his aura. Still furious. But it was a nice try, you supposed. Logan’s hackles were raised, his chest heaving. This certainly wouldn’t do. “Can I have a moment with you,” you glanced around the room, briefly meeting the other three mutant’s eyes. “Alone?”
Logan was still staring daggers at Scott. He wasn’t even the one who suggested you were ready to come along. Jean and Charles had approached you this morning. You laid a hand against his arm, hoping to lead him out of the room, but he flinched away. The pang in your heart was immediate. Did he really think you were so callous that you would ever use your powers without his express permission, or some kind of emergency. You could feel the tears starting to gather in the corner of your eye, your arms wrapping protectively around your midsection.
Jean slipped one arm through Scott’s and took Ororo’s hand with her other, gently leading them out of the room. “We are going to check a few things with the jet, last minute.” She began to hustle them out of the room. “Call if you need anything!”
The door shut firmly behind them, and you were left alone with Logan, who looked like he was going to start shaking. “I wasn’t going to-”
“You don’t think I know that?” You can’t help but recoil. You have never been afraid of Logan, even when it may have been in your best judgement to be wary, and you still aren’t. But you can’t deny that it hurts when he snaps at you. Especially when you thought, well. You thought you were growing close. You started to turn away, but before you could, a warm hand caught ahold of your arm. “I’m not… fuck.” He took a heaving breath, shaking his head as if he could clear whatever thoughts were bothering him. “I’m not mad.”
Despite the serious energy of the conversation, you couldn’t help the incredulous look you shot his way. He tried his best to hide it, but you could see the corner of his mouth turning up at you. “Fine, I’m not mad at you.”
“You know, you really can’t be mad at anyone, they were just doing-” you were cut off when you fell Logan’s hand traveling down your arm, and pushing your sleeve up gently from where it was covering your hand. He slipped his hand into yours and you felt yourself relax a bit. “Just, take a look, yeah?”
“Are you sure you want me to?”
“I trust you, bub.” You searched his eyes for any sign of hesitancy, but all you found was trust. Complete and utter trust. You nodded, tightening your own grip on his hand. Doing your best not to let the gentle rub of his thumb against your knuckles distract you, you took a deep breath and opened yourself up to his feelings.
At first you did feel anger, bright red and hot. You sifted past it, steeling yourself. The first time you had encountered such strong anger, you had felt as if you were going to collapse. But you were stronger now, more prepared to deal with these kinds of feelings. The anger was strong, but also surprisingly shallow. In the depths of his emotions, Logan was worried. Terrified. A deep dark purple that made your own hands shake. His grip on your hand tightened, effectively drawing you back to yourself. There was more, a soft inviting pink that you didn’t dare to touch and shiny bright gold, which told you he was proud.
You opened your eyes, fighting back the heat you felt creeping onto your cheeks. His expression hadn’t changed, pure trust and tenderness. It should have been disarming, or at the very least surprising. Logan wasn’t so open and honest with people. But the two of you had always had different expectations for the other.
You couldn’t help it, a smile crept over your features. “You’re proud of me?”
He rolled his eyes, but his smile only grew. He took your free hand in his, pulling you in closer. “I’m always proud of you.” He hesitated for a brief moment, and you did your best to bite your tongue. You could tell Logan had been making an effort to open up lately, and not just to you, but that didn’t make prolonged silences and easier to bear. “I know it’s not my place to demand anything of you.”
“You’re my… friend.” You cut him off, wincing at the pause. It didn’t feel like the time to pressure him into labeling whatever feelings may be floating around. “And I always want to hear my friend’s opinions. What’s bothering you so badly?”
“I could hear your heartbeat from upstairs.” Your eyes grew wide, too shocked to try to school your expression. Logan had told you several times that he had learned to block out his enhanced hearing when he was quite young. Usually to tease you when you got on a long tangent about something you enjoyed. He pretended to zone out and ignore you, but he would always remember small details about your rants, bringing them up nonchalantly at a later date “I, uh, keep an ear out sometimes. Helps with the worry.”
He worries about you? Even more surprising, he’s listening to your heartbeat like background music to his day. You promise yourself you will ask him about it when you don’t have a room full of your friends waiting on you. “I thought we’d covered this. I can take care of myself.”
He sighed, bringing a hand to rest gently where your jaw meets your neck. “Sweetheart, I know you can. But that doesn’t stop me from watching out for you.”
Your hand moved to rest overtop of his. “The good news is that I will have lots of people watching out for me. You know they won’t let anything happen.” You receive a single huff in return. He’s not convinced. “You know that these are the kinds of missions we send the kids on. I’ll be fine.”
He considers for a moment, before dropping his hand and nodding. “Give me a second to get changed, and we will head out.”
You grabbed for his hand, but he was already out the door, and moving too fast for you to stop. “Logan, don’t be ridiculous.”
“What’s ridiculous is you thinking that I would ever let you go out there alone.”
“As we already established, I have three very capable friends coming with me. I am only going as a contingency plan.”
“Well then consider me the contingency to the contingency plan.” You huffed, following him next door.
You darted around in front of Logan, pushing against his chest with all your strength, even if you were fully aware that it was the equivalent of a fly buzzing around him. He stopped all the same, eyebrows pulled together in frustration. “I know you’re worried and I know that this is you trying to help.” Logan had his I’m about to interrupt you look on his face, leaving you to shove him again. Thankfully, he understood your intention. “This is important to me. You can’t be there every time, and I have to stand on my own two feet. I want to contribute to the work we do here more than just teaching kids about how awesome Shakespeare is.” The look was back. “Which is still an important contribution.” You added, which seemed to appease him. “But, I don’t want it to be my only contribution. So I am going to go and make sure that this scared kid who is all alone out there makes it back here safe. And you are going to stay here and make sure that everyone gets dinner and help with their assignments. And then when I get back, we are going to have a talk about all this.”
“All this?” A smile crept back onto your face, hearing the teasing tone in his voice.
“Oh my god shut up!” He caught your hands before they made contact with his chest, but he was slow to let go this time. He brought the back of both of your hands to his mouth, dropping a small kiss on each one, before returning your hands to your side.
“If you come back with so much as a bump to the head, Scott’s dead.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, and pointing out that this was exactly what you were talking about earlier did little to sway him. So you gave in, agreeing to give him a full report before slipping your hand into his and tugging him towards the jet.
“We’ll be back in a bit.” You promised. You could feel the others staring from just inside the jet, but you barely noticed. Logan was checking over your suit meticulously, tugging zippers a few more clicks up and making sure that the collar wasn’t too tight around your neck. He kneeled down, checking to make sure the laces on your boots were double knotted. “Logan,” you laughed, reaching down to tilt his head up to look at you. “I’m too seconds away from sending a lot of exhaustion your way and leaving you passed out in here. You have to let me go, it’s going to be fine.”
He remained kneeling for a second too long, a look in his eyes you couldn’t entirely place. The sound of the jet powering on broke the both of you out of your trance. He was on his feet in a flash, checking over you one final time. You rose up on your tippy toes, balancing by resting your hands on his shoulders, before gently kissing him on the cheek. You pulled back, nose scrunched up from the tickle of his facial hair. “We’ll be back in a few hours. Hold down the fort for us, yeah?”
He nodded, pupils slightly blown out and a dreamy look on his face. You giggled, walking backwards for as long as you can before turning around and finding a seat on the jet. You could feel Jean and Scott’s eyes on you as Ororo began maneuvering the jet out of the garage. “Don’t even start.” You muttered, settling firmly into your seat, doing your best to soak up the pride and confidence the others were projecting into the cockpit.
as always, feedback is so appreciated! if you have any requests for these two/wolverine in general, please leave them here!
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#Logan howlett x reader#Logan howlett#wolverine#wolverine x reader#deadpool and wolvering#marvel x reader#marvel fic#Logan howlett imagine#Logan howlett fic#wolverine imagine#wolverine fic#Hugh jackman x reader#x men x reader#x men fanfic#x men fic#marvel imagine#my writing#x men#x men comics#x men movies#Hugh jackman#empath!reader
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