#i follow my biases wherever they lead me

[cupcakeslushie]

Okay. I've been tip-toeing around this AU for a while now, but I just got caught up, and now I think I have a (decent) grasp on what's going on. So I wanna go over everything I know so far to see if I'm right or wrong on anything. Don't know if you'd be willing to correct me or not. Either way, I hope my mistakes can help you understand what to clarify to other fans like me. But, I also have some questions. You probably won't be able to answer most of them, but it's at least worth a shot.

First, where's Venus? Like, why is she not in your comics that are (sort of) separate frome the canon now story. The ones that skip to the future way after all the turtles reunite. Did she die? Did she escape? Is it because she wasn't introduced yet when you made those comics?

Two, why do you keep on making references to the future timeline? I know you're planning on possibly making your own stuff leading up to the events of the movie. It just gives me a jumpscare when I see certain...imagery in those comics. I guess you're hinting at what your version of the future apocalypse would look like, but it just hurts to see. Specifically in the comic explaining both the events and aftermath of the movie and the bad future timeline. It's starting to really confuse my brain as to where this story is headed. What's meant to be the main focus? The Hamto's reuniting? The aftermath? Or the future?

Third, did you make all those min-comics before you started the actual AU? Or did you do them during?

Fourth, are any of those mini-comics relevant to the actual story now? Or have you changed your mind on a few things? It's just that everything is so all over the place, I don't really know whether to trust if they're accurate. I know most of them are just there for funzies, but the longer ones concern me. I guess I'm just not used to the storyteller doing sequel, start, prequel, start, sequel, prequel, prequel, sequel, and then end. Or maybe it's just me, and I'm sleep deprived.

My little observation speech is gonna take a while for me to get out in your asks because when I get theoretical, my speech gets long, and my proper English goes down the drain. So I'll be back. I appreciate your work very much. Despite the pain it causes me, it's still amazing.

I’ll try my best to clear up what confusion I can!

1. As far as Venus. The answer is kind of a mix of, I was still figuring out her design and backstory while coming out with some of those early comics, and then, once I had that down, I wanted the boys to grow strong bonds as a main cast. That’s why a lot of the side characters are only making small appearances in the Sep!AU Life stories, as those are mainly for the boys reconnecting. (Usagi shows up the most because I love him and am totally biased towards him).

This maybe hasn’t been stated outright, but I wasn’t really expecting so many ppl to like Vee as much as they do, and now im trying not to spoil too much of her story. It’ll unfortunately just take us a while to get to the meat of it. Since the boys reconnecting takes up a lot of the early s1s2 story, Im trying to follow the familiar Rise blueprint of Draxum, Shredder, Krang, and then in s3 we’ll have crazy fun new stories with the extra characters.

Ive also decided to take this little nugget from one of the Q&As, and use it for Venus instead of Jennika. It was a much needed bit of inspiration to explain why Venus sorta disappears for a while and will go through some major physical changes (not yet revealed) before the family can figure out a way to reach her.

2. I’m not sure if you mean jump scared in a bad/triggering or neutral way, but if you need me to tag anything on those posts please let me know!

The glimpses of the future timeline, are being scattered throughout wherever they parallel the present story in little ways, but that’s only for now. As we get closer to the movie plot, bigger chunks of the future will be revealed, because the future versions of the boys will have a larger role to play in the present timeline. So we will need more backstory than what the canon got. And also I just enjoy drawing my future versions so sometimes I don’t think too hard on a reason. I just like throwing them at ppl with no warning or reason.

When s2 ends, I plan on collecting all the future related stuff that’s been released, and recapping it for easier reading. Right now, it’s just little sprinkles of foreshadowing to give ppl an idea that, ‘oh crap. The doomed timeline is a bummer’. In my mind, I guess i thought it’d be kinda like a fun scavenger hunt for clues, but maybe ppl don’t like that 😅

3. All of the side-stories were written as the main comic was/is being released. A lot of them resulted from asks that just spawned the need to expand on certain ideas, or a desire to give all the turtles their time to shine.

For instance, when I was doing Donnie’s section of the main comic, it was a good few months where we hardly saw anyone but him and Venus. I wanted to just mix it up, and give Raph some love with his ‘Raph Time’ short. When Leo was front and center in the main, we hardly saw the others, so Mikey and Donnie got their little ‘Secrets’ short (and it was also I fun thank you for EW making it so far in the tmnt sep competition).

4. Anything that has been reworked/revised or just plain dropped should have an ‘Edit’ note because yes—I have gone back and changed some things, but more so from the asks i got in the early days, and some movie idea drafts.

All the short comics done in the last year, especially the ones that are listed in my pinned post, are canon and fall somewhere in the timeline. They’re like supplemental reading though—extra meat to give the world and the characters more personality. They do have particular backstory plot and important info in them, but nothing that shouldn’t eventually be re-visited/repeated in the main story.

um I hope that cleared up some things! I know it’s kind of a crazy amount of lore. I’ve tried my best to organize it in the pinned post, huge timeline, and search bar tags, but I know it’s getting harder and harder for newer ppl to jump in as it just get bigger. Thanks for reading regardless!

[gayregina]

Amadeo by gayregina

Basically the painting scene of 2*04 but make it devil’s minion in the 70s-80s (and generally a little devil’s minion around that time). This is small but enjoy;)

-

He was surprised when he witnessed the apathy settle in. It appeared his boy had grown used to him. No longer afraid, no longer running. Long were the nights he chased after him, looking for the spark that set him apart from the rest, the one that had intrigued Louis into picking him among the norm. And he had found it at last. The restless dark hours of following him around and making him jump at every turn were fun but limiting. The days he would wake the human from his slumber were better. The way he would caress his damp curls, trail his fingers across the soft skin and kiss the lines of his body. His lips that he refused to touch even through the fever of lust that defined most of their nights together. Instead they found his neck and the rich blood flowed into his mouth. The low moan of agreement and his boy’s hands grasping his arms or his back or his hair desperately. The times Armand’s hands wandered lower on the human’s body, pleasuring what ached for him the most. That was strictly the days Daniel refused the high of the drugs, when he chose the vampire’s blood above all else. His demanding lips on his wrist, the blood trailing down his mouth. The desire in his eyes and the little gasp he would let out when he would feel Armand’s breath on his neck. Anticipation and trust being the only words hanging in the air around them, the horrors of their past rendezvous long forgotten. Now he was enamored only by his beauty and his charm and the way he would melt into every embrace they shared. That was what set him apart from everyone else. That was the very reason why at times he couldn’t predict his own words as they were flowing out of his mouth with profound ease.

There was a specific night that felt different even before it had begun. Daniel had promised to follow him wherever he went. They talked and they laughed as their feet were moving in sync through the streets of Paris and Daniel’s fingers even dared to brush against his in the dark corners of the alleys. It was a sober night and Armand had learnt those were the most dangerous. He lead him through the bustling crowds and away where the silence in the familiar museum welcomed them and mocked the vampire for his scheme. Daniel’s eyes were a reflection of curiosity and bewilderment and they fell on the painting as Armand stopped next to it. The boy reached out his hand and his fingers grazed Amadeo’s face gently, no one around them to prevent him. No words of explanation were exchanged because they were never needed between them. Only a surprised chuckle was heard across the room and the young boy just watched, admiring the sight.

“I was seventeen years old then, I think. The only one to ever capture my humanity. My maker was the one that thought of it and brought it to life. I served him with all my heart but not for what he was. I never asked for the dark gift. What good is eternal life if you do not know who you are? When you live so long you forget your origins and the faces of those who once cherished you and protected you and loathed you and betrayed you. There is no longer truth amongst your memories, only biased perceptions of half-forgotten stories that feel so distant as if they were once myths. I would have rather died of the illness that plagued me than endure all that have followed. But my maker couldn’t bear the thought of losing me and so he cursed me.” He looked over to Daniel and he was watching him with restlessness and concentration. Was it empathy he was looking for? Someone to comfort him? He did not know.

“It felt as though I was thrown overboard and I didn’t know how to swim. I struggled and it was endless. The question of whether I could float or inevitably drown was pounding in my nauseous mind. I wished and I prayed that the sea would swallow me whole. But it didn’t hear any of my pleadings and I was washed ashore. A meaningless existence followed, all my potential companion to everything that flourishes at the bottom of the ocean; always out of reach with the treacherous possibility of greatness. Only loneliness remained and it wrecked the rest. My own body felt foreign and the sun was my enemy and my temptation for a long time. I almost surrendered to it until I no longer could. My power was too strong and somehow still useless. I was never capable enough to get rid of all I despised because somehow I was still myself.” Bloody tears were rolling down his cheeks. “I never learnt how to float. I never walked along the sand, Daniel. I am still drowning.” He felt Daniel’s touch on his cheeks, how he wiped away his tears, similar to what had occurred between him and Amadeo a few moments ago. His violet eyes were apologetic and sorrowful and he offered him a bitter smile. He guided him in his arms for the first time and Armamd thought he understood now the safety of a life vest and the calmness it spread in him. And when he pulled him closer and pressed his lips gently against his, Armand felt like a boy again and suddenly he had no regrets and he forgot all about the grief and the pain. And as he hugged Daniel’s waist and brought him closer, he considered that maybe his boy didn’t reach for him despite his demons and his edges but because of them. Through the innocent gaze of Amadeo, the boy smiled at him in agreement.

-

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you!

[bizarrequazar]

GJ and ZZH Updates — December 31-January 6

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And we're back! Sorry for the break between posts, thank you all for your patience.

This is part of a weekly series collecting updates from and relating to Gong Jun and Zhang Zhehan.

This post is not wholly comprehensive and is intended as an overview, links provided lead to further details. Dates are in accordance with China Standard Time, the organization is chronological. My own biases on some things are reflected here. Anything I include that is not concretely known is indicated as such, and you’re welcome to do your own research and draw your own conclusions as you see fit. Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, concerns, or additions. :)

[Glossary of names and terms] [Masterlist of my posts about the situation with Zhang Zhehan]

12-31 → Gong Jun's studio posted eleven photos of him rehearsing for his performance that evening. Caption: "The lark @ Gong Jun Simon shines, see you tonight"

→ Deeyeo posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Dragon TV posted a short video with footage from Gong Jun's rehearsal.

→ Chinese whalers who bought the scam's photobook (the one that was being sold on a soft-core porn site, see 10-26) started posting photos from it. The content includes such things as Zhang Sanjian shaving, eating, etc. and feels very voyeuristic, so 100% it's aimed at dreamgirls. Photoshopping quality is on par with the scam's usual stuff.

→ The Instagram posted six photos of "Zhang Zhehan".

→ Gong Jun performed at Dragon TV's New Year's Eve show, performing his song 明天晴空万里. [performance video] [on stage with Justin and Johnny] [backstage interview]

→ Gong Jun's studio posted nine photos of him from a New Years photoshoot. Caption: "The blue sky is thousands of miles away, and the clear waves are vast; whatever your heart desires, you will go wherever you go. @ Gong Jun Simon is gilded with colour and feels the beauty of the past."

They later also posted a video from the same shoot. Caption: "The sound of pressing the shutter, and the smiling expression was frozen. Waiting for the update of the four seasons, enjoy the clear sky with @ Gong Jun Simon."

01-01 → Gong Jun's studio posted four photos of him holding balloons spelling out "2024". "Starting a new journey in 2024, @ Gong Jun Simon wishes everyone a happy New Year and a fun and promising new year!"

→ Gong Jun posted a douyin of him doing a little dance with Justin and Johnny Huang (two of his costars from Go Fighting). Caption: "Dance with your brothers! Happy New Year 🎉" BGM is Stay by The Kid LAROI feat. Justin Bieber.

→ The Instagram posted ten photos of "Zhang Zhehan" at a New Years fanmeet in Thailand. During this fanmeet, Zhang Sanjian reportedly said that he has been less active(???) recently because his mother has been in and out of hospital due to a viral infection, and has gone blind in one eye. The post he later made about this was worded in a very impersonal way. A reminder that the real Zhang Zhehan was very private about family matters like this, including never mentioning his father's death in 2016 until his post-813 interview with Li Xuezheng.

→ 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

→ Gong Jun posted two photos of himself with a puppy. Caption: "Wishing everyone a prosperwoof 2024!" This was reposted by his studio with the added caption, "@ Gong Jun Simon and everyone will be prosperous in the new year!" He also posted these and two more photos to his Xiao Hong Shu, caption "Woof woof woof! Happy New Year!", and his Instagram, caption "2024 woof woof woof!"

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a year in review video for 2023. Caption: "Annual report, please check it out! In 2023, cultivate 'Ye' morally, be meticulous in every 'Si', and interpret various forms and postures with ingenuity. In 2024, actor @ Gong Jun Simon is 'modest' and a 'beginning' of a brilliant generation, running towards the ideal 'rank' with enthusiasm."

→ The Instagram posted four photos of "Zhang Zhehan" holding an apple.

→ For New Year's Day, Gong Jun changed his Weibo auto-reply to "Happy New Year, I send you a song of wealth, Do re mi fa fa fa fa fa!" The following day, he changed it back to the "Now that you're here, won't you stay?" auto-reply that he's had it set to since the Word of Honor concert. [screenshot]

01-02 → One of Gong Jun's lawsuits against an anti was announced to have been settled in Gong Jun's favour. It's worth noting that it was closed in September but could not be made public until now.

→ 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun. (1129 kadian)

→ Gong Jun's studio posted a video of Gong Jun with the puppy. Caption: "@ Gong Jun Simon: Is it warm? 🐶: Warm, but want to escape."

→ Gong Jun posted a commercial he did for 361°. [subbed video] Caption: "Put down your endless work and trivial matters in life, go out, and you will discover the big world. In the new year, let’s go wild with me and @ 361degrees."

→ The Instagram posted five photos of "Zhang Zhehan" and one of a bedazzled music note.

01-03 → Gong Jun posted a commercial he did for L'Oreal. [subbed video] Caption: "This time, [L'Oreal] and my care are not just about the scales of the hair, making the hair smooth and shiny; they are also extended to nature to jointly protect the strange and rare scales and life of pangolins. Let's 'protect your skin and shine' with @ L'Oreal Hair Care."

→ The Instagram posted five photos of "Zhang Zhehan" and one of clouds.

01-04 → Nothing of note.

01-05 → 361° posted a photo ad featuring Gong Jun.

01-06 → Gong Jun's studio posted a behind the scenes video of a photoshoot he did with Tissot. Caption: "Behind-the-scenes footage drop TIME! @ Gong Jun Simon rode on his beloved motorcycle"

→ LaLaTV re-aired the first five episodes of Castle in the Time.* They previously aired these on 12-27, but people aware of the Zhang Sanjian situation have been avoiding bringing attention to it. *Zhang Zhehan's old drama that is suddenly and suspiciously being aired in Japan, see [here] for info.

Additional Reading: → N/A

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[det2x-fanfic-dump]

HEADCANON: DEMON BROTHERS AS ANGELS (MAMMON)

Lucifer | Mammon | Leviathan | Asmodeus | Beelzebub | Belphegore | Lilith/Satan

This is a reference for my fanfic series. Obey Me kinda gives a vague lore or maybe I just forgot and didn't read it properly. But here's my headcanons and takes on what I imagined the brothers' lives are as angels.

You can also see this as my character analysis lol

Disclaimer: This is inspired from the game and my basic understanding in Theology. I am no expert in Theology and I may be religiously-biased writing this.

WHEN HE WAS AN ANGEL:

Mammon is a giver as an angel, giving emotional and physical support. If MC is out of their therapy duties, he's most likely the subsitute lol

WEAPON OF CHOICE: He is skilled with a SWORD.

Headcanon: Being under Michael's tutelage once, he is introduced in training with a sword. However, as a demon, he sees no use of it since he rely more on magic and deceptions now.

POWER AND ABILITY:

1. Teleportation:

The ability to teleport everywhere between celestial realm and human world. This ability is contrast to Mammon's demon power to summon crows and super speed.

Explanation: Crows are everywhere and super speed is technically teleportation but running.

2. Swordfighting / Protection

He used swords to protect humans from evil spirits. This ability contrasts to Mammon's demon powers to having physical strength in general.

Explanation: He no use swords as demon

3. Protection/ Attraction

The ability to get one's attention, encouragement and unconditional protection. Singing and playing an instrument is the medium. This ability is contrast to Mammon's demon power of giving wealthy luck

Explanation: Giving luck is mostly a granted wish or reward. There's a price to pay. Unconditional protection needs no trade.

RANK AS ANGELS: Stated in Obey Me Wiki, Mammon was an ARCHANGEL.

1. As an archangel, Mammon often went down to the human world to bring the good news to humans and saves them from danger if necessary.

2. He's one of those angels that whispers in your ear guiding you to the right path.

3. He always play with little kids who sees him.

4. Mammon's stories about his job in the human world is what lead to Lilith and Belphie's love and curiosity for humans .

5. Despite being a messenger of god, he still does what normal angels do and that's to interact with random people.

6. The hifher angels finds this a waste of time but lets him cuz he still does his job.

7. Probably the reason why Michael gives Mammon to Luci instead.

RANK: After promoted by Lucifer as a THRONE...'

1. As a Throne, he sings to Father God, bringing peace of minds to humans and angels.

2. He follows Lucifer everywhere he goes like a duckling.

3. He always announces Lucifer's arrival to everyone wherever he goes. Kinda annoying to Lucifer but didn't mind.

4 He is good at playing wind instruments. specifically trumpets.

5. He is a babysitter for human souls residing in the Celestial Realm.

HOW BEING AN ANGEL AFFECTS HIM AS A DEMON:

1. Mammon is cursed by Greed and being very materialistic. This contrast of him being a giver.

2. Mammon still find himself doing things when he was an angel by:

Mammon's overprotectiveness towards his brothers and MC is similar to him guiding humans to what's right.

His carefree attitude and being idiot is his own interpretation of bringing peace of mind to others in a way...IT'S 50-50

3. He still gives life advices to everyone. Even though he has poor use of right words and analogies.

Source of Inspiration/ Origin:

Source: Angeology Wiki / Christian Religion

What is Thrones:

My interpretation: Thrones is the third highest rank of angels. As carriers of the Throne, I imagined these angels to be the ones who announces to the angels that Father God or the other higher ranked angels are coming.

Thrones is one of the ranks that serves Father God directly so assumig they mostly never leave heaven. Since they're the last that belongs to the top hierarchy, they're in charge of taking care of the human souls.

My interpretation: Since Mammon is a pretty ikemen boy, we shall ignore the depicted of old man lol. However, old man is wise hence Mammon can be qualified in giving life advices and stories. If we use this facts to fiction, The so called wheels can be interpreted as the ones that steers or the pilots---a somewhat guide to a certain destination. All eyes are on the Thrones, may it be angels or humans. Thrones are guides to God's way.

What is Archangels:

Source: Patch.com

My interpretation: Archangels are angels sent to Earth to protect humans. Michael is known as the great defender and protector, he has a sword and everything. Hence, Mammon being Michael's disciple first creates Mammon's character of overprotectiveness and caring where he is seen to be most caring to MC. (This is probably my headcanon since this is too much positivity for a demon lol)

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Happiness doesn't come from grades, it comes from BooSeokSoon!

Appreciation post for BSS and their amazing comeback after five years ♡

I haven't been a fan of Seventeen for too long, but I love Just Do It and Hoshi and DK are my number one and two biases, so I was as hyped as everyone else for BSS' comeback in February! This is just a post for me to gush about how much I loved everything about it.

LEAD-UP PROMOTIONS

Pledis pulled a sneaky way of announcing the comeback by posting a hidden tweet with their signature "Ladies and gentlemen, they call us BSS" but the fans found it and Caratland freaked out! After that, everything that was teased prior to the album's release just continued to build on the hype. From the teaser images, we could see that there was a sports concept that coupled well with the album name Second WInd, and also that they would probably be faithful to the silly charm that we love about BSS rather than go for a more mature concept.

The whole rolllout was incredibly well-thought-out and cohesive. The highlight melody in particular was genius. Modeled after a fitness or training app, the members take turns acting as your voice coach, and they each introduce a song that coincides with a time of day - morning, afternoon, and evening. Basically, they want our entire day filled with BSS and I'm not complaining. I was super excited to hear a bit of the featured artists as well!

GOING BSS

We got two special episodes for BSS, rejoice! These episodes were filmed in the mockumentary style following the members as they prepare for the comeback, and they are honestly some of my favorite in all of Going Seventeen. Everything was just so funny and unhinged - the dialogue, the presentations, the side interviews, the camera work, even the comedic cuts and timing worked into the editing. And BSS are the perfect members to take on the mockumentary format because they have absolutely no shame and will do anything for the sake of humor. Almost as funny as seeing the members commit so hard to acting out their ridiculous ideas is seeing them break character. I don't know how they filmed any of this with a half-straight face, staff included. The cameo appearances were great! Woozi deserves a raise for doing his part semi-seriously in a space helmet, and my favorite was Dino giving 1000% as the flamboyant Mr. Cha lol.

ALBUM + MUSIC VIDEO

The music video for Fighting dropped at 11 PM on a Sunday night for me but I was up and waiting from the live countdown. I loved the song and video immediately on the first watch. Fighting is incredibly catchy and energetic, and the song structure is really interesting, particularly the rap bridge that leads into a musical-esque second bridge. BSS were serving as vocal kings all around with harmonies, ad libs, and high notes - even Hoshi! And Lee Youngji absolutely SLAYED her rap. When I took the time to read the lyrics I found them very relatable, motivating, and quintessentially BSS. In a nutshell, life just sucks sometimes but you still gotta keep fighting! And BSS will be there rooting for you (literally, they say "we're your BSS" who is "here to sing this song for you").

The music video was a perfect fit for the song. It was full of colorful outfits and sets, energetic backup dancers and extras, a bit of humor and a super fun choreography. BSS looked incredible and I could feel their energy and how much fun they were having through the screen. I watched the video a good three times straight after it dropped before going on to listen to the rest of the album.

And the other two tracks didn't disappoint either! LUNCH, which is meant to be a late afternoon pick-me-up, is pretty quirky and while not my taste initially, it definitely grew on me. It's really cute how the members are "cooking" up a song to deliver to you, wherever you may be in the universe (or multiverse). 7PM was the song I was looking forward to the most after hearing it in the highlight melody and it was just what I was hoping for. It's a warm hug at the end of a long day. The members’ voices are beautiful and soothing, and the lyrics are simple but sentimental. Peder Elias features and actually sings the whole second half of the song. I was a little conflicted because I would have preferred a shorter feature or at least finishing out the last chorus with BSS, but he has a wonderful voice that fit perfectly with the vibe. And it’s nice to have a part that's easy for me to sing since it's in English haha.

PROMOTIONS PERIOD

The promotions period was no doubt short but sweet. It was only one week but BSS' three music show performances absolutely delivered. They performed with live vocals, unveiled the entire choreography for Fighting, and even brought their two featuring artists with them! Youngji and Peder are such gems, Youngji moved her schedule around to promote with BSS and Peder flew all the way from Norway. Fighting was so much fun to watch each time because of the choreo (super interesting, detailed, creative, and on-brand) and also because of the ad libs that BSS changes up each time. My favorite was Hoshi's shoutout to Coups, Wonwoo and Mingyu for coming to see their Music Bank performance, so wholesome. We also got our ears blessed with two performances of 7PM in a cute outdoor food/drink stand setting. The harmonies in the chorus were so wonderful, and it was cute how they got Peder more involved by having a short dialogue with him at the end of the song.

But my favorite performance of all might actually be their appearance on It's Live. BSS performed with a live band and I truly wish this version could be on Spotify, I love it that much. The video starts off with the members marching in to Fighting (of course). They do a short-ish intro with an overly enthusiastic Hoshi and DK and Seungkwan lamenting about how they get off track when they don't follow the script. Even the band members could help but crack up in the back! Once the performance starts they get totally in the zone and even without dancing, it was so much fun to watch. They killed the vocals, slipped in a bunch of fun ad libs (one by DK had Seungkwan on the floor), and even ran around the whole room to get everyone else to cheer along for the last chorus. It was both extremely chaotic and professional, two things BSS does best.

Oh and as an extra bonus, during the performance period we also got to see BSS doing dance challenges with everyone under the sun and I was living for it!

THE ICONIC CCMA PERFORMANCE

Just after promotions ended, we got to see BSS perform as the ending act at the Circle Chart Music Awards! The boys brought BIG ENERGY. They put on another fantastic performance of Fighting, but what really stole the show was when they brought out Just Do It again. BSS incorporated a little skit with their hair/makeup people at the beginning of the song and sang the first verse up on a raised platform in front of a podium. They sang and danced so well but added an extra silliness to their ad libs and movements that made this five year old song still feel so fresh and fun. During the chanting part of the bridge, BSS ran into the artist audience area and got everyone to join them, then pulled the viral "Next Level" reference in front of aespa before running back on stage to finish up the song. I loved how DK yelled at everyone to congratulate him because it was his birthday lol. The song ended... and then BSS pulled a Seventeen and gave it the never-ending encore treatment!! Iconic, legendary, game-changing. It's crazy how just three members of Seventeen could fill up the entire space with their presence and get everyone in the audience, both fans and artists alike, hyped up with them. Their professionalism and energy continues to amaze me over and over.

EXTRA GOODIES

Finally, we got spoiled with so much extra content to go along with the comeback. Seungkwan guested on Lee Mujin's show (and just recently Jo Hyunah's as well). DK did a video with Dingo where he surprised a fan in order to cheer her up since she had been having a hard time. Hoshi fought his inner introvert and appeared on Suga's drinking show. The list goes on. We even got special performance videos of Fighting and 7PM, plus all the behind-the-scenes.

To wrap this up, I'm just so proud of BSS for everything they've done in this short period of time. It feels like they did it all just for fun and everyone's enjoyment, but the results have spoken for themselves and I'm hoping we'll get to see another comeback sooner than five years.

[fridakahloblvd]

the one time I trust an old white woman, I lose an eye…

I mean, sURE, there were some red flags. her potions didn’t work, and she talked with innuendo. her smile was kinda creepy, and she seemed a little too eager to talk to me.

I’m just humoring her at this point because she’s just a frail old woman lmao. I’m a sorcerer, I can tell she’s a little loopy.

but she was harmless! I find her and she’s surrounded by two young men who are threatening her. she had no weapons! they’re calling her a hag! 🙄 I get it, she’s a weird old lady, but that’s not a crime.

and I’m not buying this story about their sister! who’s to say she didn’t run off on her own volition? I know the genre we’re in! we meet so many star crossed lovers in act 1! maybe she didn’t like her home life! maybe her brothers are abusive!! Idk!!

so what was i supposed to do?! i met her first, and she was nice to me! she’s Auntie!! i tell them to leave her alone and they point their swords at me! and at this point I’m like lvl 2 or 3, so we easily kill them.

and it’s mostly just because I find her funny, Idk. I find Volo annoying, but I think Auntie’s great so maybe I’m just dumb. I role played the Volo surgery and save scummed back before that because I KNEW he was a bumbling idiot.

The letter the sister left behind doesn’t help either. I don’t know what to think of this situation, I just hope that the sister is safe and sound wherever she is.

Anyway, I go off. Auntie tells me to meet up with her as thanks, I go and fight the goblins and gnolls. the game tells me that I’m not ready to go after the Gith, so I decide that I’m ready to meet back up with Auntie.

I’m following the quest marker, when I step onto the sunlit wetlands. something happens, like a weird blast that changes the area into a stinky bog. ok. whatever. there’s some sheep and they’re highlighted so I grab Wyll to go talk to them.

but they turn into…gnomes? ok. whatever. there’s an illusion going on and these gnomes are trying to pass off as sheep. so I humor them. I “baa” at them. the only other options are to confront or attack them. I don’t feel like starting shit, so I let them be. maybe it’s a kink or they’re being method? I don’t judge.

so I bound up the stairs in this dispelled illusion bog-turned-wetland and there’s Auntie!

…with a young woman. and she’s forcing homegirl to overeat, telling her that she’s eating for two. and again…I’m not stupid. I clock the weird vibes. that’s Marcy what’s her name. the little sister. And Auntie’s being really cruel to her, threatening Marcy to finish her food.

I’ve read Hansel and Gretel, I know a thing or two about child eating witches. so I say something to Auntie, like “hmm. Marcy. ain’t that the name of the little sister of the two guys I killed for you?” like what’s up with that?

and she just tells me to shut it, that she doesn’t like busybodies. Astarion tells me to leave well enough alone, and not worry about strangers. Wyll and Lae’zel stay silent and just stand behind me with their arms crossed. and I suddenly wish I had brought Gale along because I’m romancing him. and he’s a wizard so he’s gotta have some expertise with all this.

but he’s not here. and then Auntie’s telling me that I gotta give up my eye in exchange for getting the worm out. and I’m just letting shit happen at this point because I wanna see where this leads.

so I say ok. but then she says she’s gotta get her long nails for this job. and I’m like, “huh?”

and she transforms into a big gnomish monster. a hag. and I’m just looking at her not knowing what to think. because just because she’s a hag, doesn’t mean she’s evil! right?

(I’d just listened to NADDPOD’s Twilight Santorum four shot and there was a nice hag there so I might’ve been biased. it’s a really funny and surprisingly heartbreaking story. the ending is so good)

Long story short, she pulls my eye out and then freaks out when she sees the worm. apparently it’s been tampered with. duh. we know. but she’s mad at ME, and says the deals off. and kicks me out.

WHAT. like…how rude. she’s like “oh I COULD do it. but I won’t. you’re not getting your eye back, but here’s a lil gift. piss off” and I just had to laugh! because what??

anyway, I’m tempted to save scum and go back and try to kill her I guess.

[accessant]

Jan 1 2024 so is this where I can start blogging?

So. Is this where to start blogging?

I’m listening to this trying to contain my excitement for the new year. Mixture really isn’t it? I mean they say not to fear but there are certain elements on earth absolutely dead set in bringing about dread for the days ahead. Not just for yourself. For others too. But hey ho go on without fear for fear is the mind killer says Dune. Fear leads to hateful thoughts says Star Wars and further still the “dark side”. Now, is psychology taking the same acknowledgement? Don’t be afraid of the job interview. Don’t be afraid of the walk to wherever you may need to go. Fear not, or holistically you could be manifesting your own fate! Of all things! Like losing out on good artistic endeavour. As an artist I need to tackle my fears…How to deal with fear then?

Breath in. Breath out. Don’t suppress the fear. Feel the fear, exploit the fear and express the fear turn the fear into something you can see and feel something about. In doing that you can stand back and look at it and say, “I can deal with fear , with love!” Love of the work I can muster and love of the life I lead. Fear can be a concealed in the unconscious though and art can reveal the face of fear too. Then the process of love can be able to begin.

I’ve got a daughter in conflict with her mother over a son I’ve also got. Her brother is autistic and her love is being twisted out of her grasp as she deals with sibling rivalry on an unprecedented scale. Her mum does her best but she can’t help her mercurial ways, blaming my daughter for things my daughter has now power over. Her emotions. She’s an emotional human being too and the acceptance for her brother’s condition and the lack of understanding for my daughter’s condition (a growing, evolving, emotional human being) is massively hypocritical and biased in daughter’s eyes.

The fact that she is accused of premeditated and acts of a cynical nature already at nine, by her mum is one of the hardest things I’m having to comprehend at the moment and I’m sure it’s just as confusing and identity cracking for my daughter. I’m sure her mum loves her daughter but maintaining a status quo and being a single mother (we’re divorced) leads to her letting off steam at the nearest person she respects with any intelligence. And I find she’s often critical of our daughter and much stricter with her, in comparison to our son who gets all the understanding in the world. And he doesn’t have those emotions to deal with in the same way as our daughter he has much, much more to deal with.

I think our daughter is getting the brunt of criticism of neurotypical children being critical of our son. This is leading to our daughter’s own battle with fear. Fear of loss of a mother and fear of her own feelings and a suppression of those feelings. This is one of my fears for this year. That our daughter’s love, self love is contorted into fear and anger for herself. Thus suppression of the guilt that follows and the toxic shame coming from the adult in her vicinity not dealing with her own life problems and generally dumping the responsibility onto our daughter. Stunting her development rather than what mum wants so badly, for her to mature in QuickTime to help mum with all these burdens.

Our daughter’s responses are already apparent and a preemptive cynical side is already showing. Something I fear as having a domino effect on the rest of her life. And her brother will also be affected by her behaviour towards him. Don’t get me wrong , all the mum sends me is the bad news as she wishes me to have a skewed view of the children so that I bare a lot of the responsibility of the growing pains until you realise that mum is wanting to control all the love going to and coming from the children. And making sure she is getting the lion’s share everytime.

I know, I’m appearing to be moaning about my ex wife now but this is what my blog is for. For writing is the last bastion of dealing with my fears and in those fears are real life problems. Which I feel after discussing these with my Exwife, are being ignored by her as weaknesses and dismissed as she avoids facing her own fears. Of herself and her past. She talks a lot about her past but she never deals with her feelings about past trauma. No self reflection and no commitment to grow fully. We all have this about us and it depends on what level we’re willing to expand that notion of self reflection to encompass serious growth on not only ourselves but those of our loved ones.

My relationship with my parents is in a state traumatic dismissal of glaring truths about ourselves that we haven’t got the heart to face, reflect on nor deal with. You may be seeing “the father wound” phrase bandied around the latter end of 2023 and boy do we have that prevalent in our unit. Maybe just maybe I’m over analysing the problems with my own ex family unit to deflect from the problems going fast to the grave of my own childhood family?

These are my stationary fears. Never mind my further fears for the environment, the wars of the world the treatment of each other as a species and the treatment of other species as a more powerful species. All of which I hope to deal with , with love. Love you remember that feeling? Self reflection and a code of conduct can resolve issues within myself and embed a love of myself and a love for others, even my trauma makers, but not be too good and not be too bad, just be good enough, just be human… I will find equilibrium perhaps and within/surrounding that, love. And growth. As an artist as a human being and even find a way through for my children if I can.

[generallemarc]

They're just unaware of the deep antisemitic history of repeating claims that "Jews have too much power",

Cold take, but I don't think that a rational, mentally competent adult who made it anywhere past the eight grade in a Western country could possibly be unaware of that. "X ethnic/religious group has too much power" can't be a true statement in a functional democracy at all, since power is given to those elected by the people and thus is rightly possessed by the victor, whoever they may be, but it's especially stupid when said of a minority. The logistics necessary for any minority group to be more powerful than a vote bloc, like Cuban Americans for example, simply cannot be achieved unless this "minority" could comprise over a quarter or a third of the entire population, and last I checked all the Jews in the world (16 million, according to an Israeli think tank) don't add up to even a tenth of the American population.

Waters is openly and explicitly antisemitic, saying that there is a widespread conspiracy of Jews running the world's politics... but he has been insisting for over 40 years that he's just "antizionist, not antisemitic."

His latest brilliant theory is that the opening attacks of the war were a "false flag." Because that's a perfectly acceptable thing to say about the deaths of thousands of innocents, just like how it was totally normal and socially acceptable to accuse Bush of doing 9/11 before September of 2001 was even over. That definitely wouldn't have made you a social pariah and it 100% wouldn't have been deserved.

Well, if your ideology claims that you want a better life for everyone and social progress and being against racism and bigotry... but yet they don't speak up when it's happening right in front of them...

This right here is why the left will always get under my skin more than the right. At least these days, most right-wing retards are just pure personalists, deciding their morality entirely based on what their idol(which 99% of the time is Donald Trump) said that day. They'll follow wherever he leads them, and for the most part they're up front with that. They'll never call it what it is, but they don't try to deny what they're doing as they're doing it either. And that's all that seems to happen with more and more of the left these days. They're fighting for equal rights for everyone, unless you're one of an ever-growing list of outgroups who aren't as equal as the smaller and smaller pool of people that is "everyone".

Some people in this category might object to being labeled as "Pro-Jewish", as if they're biased for Jews. But I have to ask... do you think that they would also object to being labeled "Pro-LGBTQ"?

It's like the parallel to the people who use "[insert group here] rights advocate" as an insult. Yeah, you're gonna attack me by saying I want men or trans people to have equal rights? Wow, I sure must be an awful person for wanting that.

But the number of Type 3s I've seen are outnumbered a hundred to one by Types 1, 2, and 2.5.

I want to call this a problem with modern leftism, I really do. And I do think that the obsession with categorization, us-vs-them binaries, legitimization of calls for and celebrations of political violence and the encouragement of bigotry against "privileged" groups all played a role in this. But honestly, I don't think it's possible to teach this kind of cruelty to this many people in any free society. You'd need Chinese levels of control to pull that off. What's happening is a mass unmasking of all the varieties of moral bankruptcy known to man, as people willfully reveal that all they needed was the right opportunity and they would choose to talk and act like the fascists they claim to fight. Alot of these people would've been rotten no matter what they chose to use to try and legitimize their spite.

In my own experience as a Jewish Leftist, and corroborated by the similar experiences of other Jewish Leftists, there are, roughly speaking, five to six broad categories of Leftists in their attitudes towards Jews. This is a tangential categorization in terms of precise political affiliation; in other words, one's position in these categories is not dependent on what precise type of Leftist/Progressive an individual is.

Type 1: Open And Unapologetic Jew Haters

These Leftists hate Jews and don't try to hide it at all. According to them, Jews are the Problem, and they know what type of Solution they want enacted.

The archetypal example that I'll currently use is Cynthia McKinney, former US Congresswoman and US Green Party presidential candidate, who, well...

But this is also the class of Leftists who say that there is no room for Judaism in their ideal, imagined perfect world, that they picture everyone assimilating and giving up their ethnic and cultural identities to just be "human", and often single out Judaism as a particular problem in that regard.

Type 2: Closeted Knowing Jew Haters

These Leftists hate Jews, know that they hate Jews, but know that it's bad optics to openly praise Hitler or cozy up to the KKK to satisfy their hatred of Jews, so they try to find the barest veneer of plausible deniability to hide behind. "Anti-zionism" is a particular favorite on the Left, but the hatred has a way of slipping past the mask when they get questioned.

A classic example here is the Boston Mapping Project, who literally made up a list of every Jewish institution in Boston, Mass, on suspicion of them being "Zionist"--including elder homes, Jewish high schools, and Kindergartens, and including scary "links" on the map to various government agencies, no matter how tenuous or outright imaginary, thereby invoking old conspiracy tropes about "Secret Jewish Control of the Government". (And BDS, as the parent organization, also gave the lie that they're just antizionist, not antisemitic, when they disavowed the Mapping Project for bad optics, not the rank antisemitism and conspiratorial thinking they were promoting). Another example would be the organizers of the Chicago Dyke March, who explicitly expelled Jews from the March and crowed about "zio tears" (which is a slur originally used by the KKK, no less).

However on first encounter, Type 2 are indistinguishable from and camouflaged by...

Type 3: Undereducated And Unknowing Traffickers In Antisemitism

These Leftists don't hate Jews per se... they're just unaware of the deep antisemitic history of repeating claims that "Jews have too much power", or stating that the Holocaust was "White on White violence", or that "Jews are just White People from Europe", or any of a host of other antisemitic beliefs that are endemic on the Left. They're initially indistinguishable from Type 2, as they say the same things, and can only be told apart by their reactions; a Type 3 will go, "Oh, I didn't know and I'll try to learn!", while a Type 2 will typically double down, or let the mask slip in some other way.

The problem is that, from the perspective of Jews, Type 2 and Type 3 are indistinguishable from each other at first glance, and rather than try to engage and risk the emotional harm, a lot of Jews tend to write off all of them as Type 2, and there's a lot of debate on the ratios between the two.

Also worthy of mention, as a midpoint between Type 2 and Type 3 are:

Type 2.5: Openly Antisemitic "I'm Not An Antisemite, I Just Refuse To Learn, Listen, Or Let Jews Define Antisemitism"

As a midpoint between types, these Leftists openly traffic in antisemitic motifs, conspiracies, and attitudes, all the while insisting that they're not antisemitic. They're a midpoint between types 2 and 3 because they've had plenty of time and opportunity to learn about the bigoted attitudes they're espousing, but refuse to do so... but at the same time, they genuinely seem to think that they're not antisemitic. They just think that there's a vast Jewish conspiracy out to get them personally, or any of a number of other antisemitic beliefs, and refuse to accept or learn that what they're saying is antisemitic. They can believe that they themselves are not all they want, saying that Jews have too much money and power and run the world's politics is still trafficking in antisemitic conspiracy theories.

The archetypal example of this type, assuming we can take his word for it, is Roger Waters. Waters is openly and explicitly antisemitic, saying that there is a widespread conspiracy of Jews running the world's politics... but he has been insisting for over 40 years that he's just "antizionist, not antisemitic."

But these are just the outspoken ones. None of them would get anywhere without the tacit support of...

Type 4: The Silent Majority

These Leftists are, being blunt, hypocritical cowards. They don't want to get involved in issues on antisemitism. When a Leftist Jew is being harassed by one of Types 1 to 3, they don't speak up, they don't get involved, they just say nothing.

Maybe they agree with one of the above types. Maybe they just don't want to get involved. Maybe they're afraid of seeming sympathetic to Israel. Maybe they're afraid of getting the social backlash that the Jew is experiencing. But ultimately, their motivations don't matter, their actions do—and their actions give tacit social support to the antisemite in the Leftist group, not to the Jew being harassed and chased out.

And the reason they're hypocritical cowards?

Well, if your ideology claims that you want a better life for everyone and social progress and being against racism and bigotry... but yet they don't speak up when it's happening right in front of them...

Well.

That says a lot, doesn't it? Both on what their ideals actually mean to them... and how highly they value Jews. And we know that it is possible, because of...

Type 5: The Pro-Jewish Leftist

These Leftists are, in my experience, a minority outside of Leftist Jews, but they do exist among non-Jewish Leftists. They stand up to Types 1, 2, and 3 when they express antisemitic views, and try to shame and cajole Type 4 into standing up as well.

And, just to point out how normalized antisemitism is on the Left...

Some people in this category might object to being labeled as "Pro-Jewish", as if they're biased for Jews. But I have to ask... do you think that they would also object to being labeled "Pro-LGBTQ"?

[independentartistbuzz]

7 From the Women with Jaimee Harris

Jaimee Harris turned 30 during the pandemic. It’s a milestone that is a rite of passage even during normal times. But for this Texas-born singer-songwriter, it came in the midst of one of the strangest and most tumultuous periods in American history. When the world stopped during lockdown, Harris, like many others, found herself gazing back into the past, ruminating on the nature of her hometown and family origins, and reckoning with their imprint on her.

Harris’s sophomore effort, Boomerang Town marks a bold step forward for this country-folk-leaning singer-songwriter. It is an arresting, ambitious song-cycle that explores the generational arc of family, the stranglehold of addiction, and the fragile ties that bind us together as Americans.

We spoke with Jaimee about her music and career. So, without further ado, let’s dive in:

What Have You Been Working To Promote Lately?

I am very excited to introduce my sophomore LP Boomerang Town to the world on February 17th. This album is a collection of songs I’ve been working on since 2015 that explores the imprint my hometown and my family of origin made on me – but I strongly believe it’s a story anyone can see themselves in. I’ve hired fellow songwriters to create music videos for every track on the record. The first one was filmed, directed, and edited by Neighborhoods Apart (songwriter/producer Neilson Hubbard and songwriter/multi-instrumentalist Joshua Britt). It features a cameo from my partner, fellow singer-songwriter Mary Gauthier, and one of my best friends in Nashville hair artist/songwriter/actor Riqué Patire. 

“Missing Someone” Official Music Video

My favorite thing about making and releasing this album has been embracing the opportunity to bring in so many folks I love to participate in the art.

Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you 

It’s pretty impossible for me to pick a favorite song. Right now, I have had “Black Umbrella” by Anna Tivel on repeat. I first heard this song when she played it at the Edmonton Folk Festival and it made me cry hard on stage. I’ve listened to it hundreds of times since and I still cry every time. I am pretty sure the reason I’ve had it on repeat is that, to me, it is empathy in its highest form. By just telling the story with perfect, impactful imagery, she forces us to question our biases.

What does it mean to you to be a woman making music/in the music business today and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music? 

I do not feel a responsibility to deliver specific messages about anything in any of my songs. I do feel a responsibility to follow the song wherever it leads me. It’s been my experience that if I surrender my will and allow the song to guide me, the song contains more wisdom than I do – and the song does the work of reaching who it needs to reach. I do feel a responsibility to be fully who I am when I get to the spaces the songs take me. When I arrive, I stand firmly as an openly sober, tattooed, queer, woman/non-binary, southern folk singer.

What female artists have inspired you and influenced you?

Mary Gauthier, Patty Griffin, Tracy Chapman, Emmylou Harris, Eliza Gilkyson, Gretchen Peters, Nanci Griffith, Sarah Bettens (now Sam Bettens), Lori McKenna, Julie Miller, Caroline Spence, BettySoo, Kathleen Edwards

Who was the first female artist that made want to create music / be in the business?

The first time I heard Emmylou Harris’s voice, I knew I wanted to sing. The first time I saw Emmylou live, she shared the stage with Patty Griffin and Julie Miller. It was later revealed to me by my grandmother, who spent some time in a bible study with Julie Miller’s mother, that Julie Miller spend a significant amount of time in Waco. When I put it together that someone “from” Waco wrote a song that Emmylou Harris recorded, it opened up a world of possibility for me. I knew it was possible for someone like me to have success as a songwriter. It’s still my ultimate dream to have Emmylou Harris sing one of my songs.

Who's Your Favorite Female Icon (dead or alive) and why?

It’s as difficult for me to choose a favorite female icon as it is to choose a favorite song. I’ve been obsessed with the genius of Jo Carol Pierce’s Bad Girls Upset by the Truth for years, but have been hanging on to it tightly since I moved away from Texas. Last month, I listened to it almost every night in green rooms in The Netherlands and in the UK before we went on stage. It gave me courage. Jo Carol’s voice – both speaking and singing, her rhythm, and her vocabulary always help me to feel a lot less homesick. She was a fierce, original, and deeply gifted artist. I could be wrong, but I don’t think she released her first album until she was in her 50s. Although I never met Jo Carol, I have had the joy of getting to know her daughter Elyse and granddaughters Riane and Ellery. They are three of the kindest, most badass women I’ve ever met. Those four women are icons in my world.

What was the most challenging thing you have had to face as a female artist?

Soundchecks (laughs until cries). For years, I was the leader of a seven-piece band that was mostly made up of dudes. When sound personnel saw that other men were deferring to me, and that the men in the band were in supportive roles, I was treated with respect. Playing as a side person with Gauthier, because I’m in a support role but also I think because I am more feminine looking than Gauthier, I deal with a lot more sexism.

Some of the biggest challenges I’ve encountered in the business have to do with being talked out of my gut. Every time I don’t listen to my gut I end up in a tremendous amount of pain. My brain can easily talk me out of what my gut knows. “This guy has more experience than me,” “he’s worked with _____ so he must know…” I’m actively working on this in recovery. It can be oddly scary for me to defend my gut knowing. Every time I do it gets a little easier and I get stronger.

If you could collaborate with any other female artists, who would you choose?

Some of my favorite moments ever on stage have been with Mary Gauthier, Eliza Gilkyson, and Mary Gauthier. I’d like to do more of that. I DESPERATELY want to sing harmonies with Caroline Spence. I’d also love to collaborate with Emmylou Harris, but I think I’d be too nervous to do a good job honestly.

If you could form an all woman super-group who would play in it?

Emily Gimble, Katie Shore, Carrie Rodriguez, Eleanor Whitmore (yeah, three fiddle players why not), Brennen Leigh, BettySoo, Bonnie Whitmore, Jane Ellen Bryant, Lisa Pankratz

Watch her latest “Love is Gonna Come Again” Official Lyric Video

Connect with Jaimee Harris via: Website / Instagram / Facebook / Twitter / YouTube / Spotify

[tokkiheart]

Short Drama Recommendations

Got a short attention span? Have ADHD and just want to squeeze one more K-Drama in before going to bed after binge-watching 16+ hours of another K-Drama? Just want to watch something between class or during a work break? Well, here’s a list of some short K-Dramas that I’ve watched that can be finished in less than a day and some under 3 hours.

Semantic Error

This is a cute enemies-to-lovers school (college/university) BL drama with a good OST that's available on Viki. This drama is based off of a webtoon of the same name. It has 8 episodes, each ranging anywhere from 17 minutes to 28 minutes. The entire show is 185 minutes and 1 second long, so roughly 3 hours long!

Splash Splash Love

This is a great super short fluff K-Drama that I love to recommend. It only has 2 episodes, each one being about 1 hour long, so it’ll only kill about 2 hours of your day/night.

This K-Drama is about a high school student who escapes the pressures and stress around school and the important test she’s supposed to take. Where and how does she escape? Well, she escapes into the past via a puddle on a rainy day, winding up in the Joseon dynasty. In order to survive, she pretends to be a eunuch and a mathematician to help the king.

Queen of the Ring

This is a short webdrama that I literally just watched for Ahn Hyo Seop. I’d say this is about middle ground for me, it’s not a favorite, but it’s also definitely not the worst thing that I’ve ever seen by any means lol

To sum this show up very briefly, girl loves boy, boy is in love with some girl he had a chance encounter with (who turns out to be the FL’s best friend) who he doesn’t really know. Girl gets magic ring from mom that allows her to, in the eyes of the person she likes, look like their ideal type (in this case, her friend). Basically, the message of this show boils down to “don’t judge a book by its cover.”

7 First Kisses

This is quite literally the weirdest thing I have ever watched of my own free will and this recommendation is partly a joke and partly because I want to make sure it wasn’t all just a weird fever dream lol

Anyway, this is a web series k-drama (with an extremely misleading title) that is basically a giant ad vehicle for some duty free store/company (I don’t even know what a duty free is, but it seems to just be a big mall/department store). I kid you not when I say that this thing is literally just some y/n fanfic brought to life as a choose-your-own-adventure style show. You could watch the whole series if you want to, or just watch the first episode + whichever episode stars your bias + their corresponding ending episode and call it a day. You can find this show on YouTube where you can watch them all mashed together in one video or watch from a playlist. There’s 15 “episodes,” with the episodes in which the FL meets the male leads and figures out the AU she’s in having a run time of anywhere from 8 minutes and 21 seconds to 12 minutes 51 seconds and the ending episodes for the choices being only 1 to 2 minutes long. If you decide to watch all of the episodes and all the ending possibilities, you’ll kill 1 hour and some minutes of your time, if you just want to watch your bias, you’ll kill less than 25 minutes of your time (anywhere from 18 to 24 minutes depending on your bias).

I will readily admit that the only reason that I even watched this thing was for Lee Jong Suk. Do I have regrets? I genuinely don’t know. This thing was wild lol

Soundtrack #1

A short, four episode long romantic drama that you can find on Disney+ (or your favorite illegal streaming site).

This drama is a best friends turned lovers drama set around winter. The female lead has two weeks to write a song for singer Seo In Guk, I mean Jay Jun, about unrequited love. The only problem? She’s never experienced unrequited love, so she recruits her best friend who she knows is currently experiencing it with “Jennifer.”

The Sound of Magic

This is on the upper end of things in terms of length/run-time. This K-Drama is a musical on Netflix that has 6 episodes, each at about an hour long, which puts the total run time for this drama at 6 hours and 51 minutes, so about 7 hours.

This show has a good OST, it’s a bit darker/serious than most if not all of the other dramas on this list, but it’s got some great light moments.

This show is about a girl who was forced to grow up too fast in order to provide for herself and her little sister, who one day meets a magician who is very much still a child at heart. There’s some intense themes in this show, including an attempted r*pe of a minor, so just be aware of that going into the show.

This ended up being a short list since I haven’t watched a ton of short K-Dramas yet, but I will add to it some more when I watch more!

I will say that outside of shows that I’ve seen, I can say that just about every BL K-Drama tends to run on the short side and can be finished in a few hours. I think they typically tend to range from 6 to 10 episodes in length, with episodes of 30 minutes or less. Outside of those, web series tend to be your next best bet for something short to watch!

[genshin-impacted]

lost & found // Diluc x Reader (2/3)

Word Count: ~5.0k

Notes: GN!Reader, Seelie!Reader, Diluc/Reader, includes more Mondstadt people interaction such as Klee, Albedo, and Kaeya, see why I had to split it into 3 parts now

Summary: Despite being a seelie, you and Diluc are inseparable. You aren't sure what you are or why you are here, but you know for certain you want to be wherever Diluc is through every adventure and misadventure. (And throughout it all, you get closer and closer to him.)

Alternatively: The two of you lose and find each other over and over again.

[Part 1] [Part 3]

.

.

You are satisfied with your life as a seelie, being Diluc’s partner in vigilante justice as the Darknight Hero (though when he goes out as the Darknight Hero, you’re usually hiding underneath his coat, all cozied up) and being able to spend your days by his side. Most days you are content without the answers to the questions of your origins or why you are different because Diluc accepts you for what you are regardless, as his radar for trouble and as his trusted companion.

It is only on the days where Diluc does not speak to you, burdened by the emotions of his past, withdrawing into himself at the familiarity of solitude, that you wish you are not what you are. There is very little you can offer in terms of comfort when compared to the warm arms and reassuring kisses of another person, but you make do with what you have.

You nuzzle into the crook of his neck in a semblance of a hug, and, though it takes a few tries to have Diluc understand what you were doing, your light touches to his forehead are the kisses you bestow upon him whenever his spirits are low.

“...Thank you,” he says to you when you lightly brush onto his temple, smiling when you twirl in the air, happy to have him receive your affections with full translation. He chuckles. “Would you like me to do the same for you?”

The squeaks of surprised embarrassment that follows make him laugh, and you imagine if you could speak, you wouldn’t be able to say anything of coherence with how equally flustered and pleased you feel. You don’t want to conflate any of his gestures, but you think that Diluc’s ability to tease you is a testament to how close you have gotten, even though his remarks make you feel giddy.

(If anyone else were in the vicinity they would think to themselves how rare that they see Master Diluc laughing so easily, though this is a thought that would not have crossed your mind considering this is a Diluc you have always seen. He is more youthful, less burdened, when he is near you. Is it because you are a seelie or is it because he is not bound by expectations when you have only known him for who he is?)

His ability to understand you and his unwavering trust in you despite your inability to do many things is something that you cherish. As such, you find ways to help Diluc wherever you can: temporarily swallowing small items to bring to him, being a literal light in the dark, and caring for his well-being wherever you can. The next time Kaeya drops by the tavern, stating something about treasure hoarders, a big expedition, and something about Dragonspine, he drops off a young girl about eight years old who introduces herself as Klee, and you find yourself in a new position as a babysitter.

And you are happy to glow, squeak, and fly in different shapes to make Klee laugh. You would be lying to yourself if her laughter didn’t make you happy, but it’s in addition to the fact that Diluc can finally rely on you. The grateful glances he keeps giving you over the shoulder when he caters to the tavern guests is invigorating. And if the tavern weren’t so well-lit, Klee would be able to see how you glow brighter in response to your emotions.

As perfect as Diluc may be (no, you are not biased), you find that you are surprisingly better at handling Klee. It’s not as though Diluc is completely helpless-- he responds to Klee’s questions just fine, speaking to her more as though she were an adult than a kid. You think Klee likes it for how she eagerly nods despite not understanding what Diluc is saying. It's just, for once, you may have an advantage because you are a seelie, and Klee absolutely adores you simply for existing. It’s a lot easier to entertain and play with her as a glowing ball of light than as a tavern-keeper, but you consider this a win anyways because you can finally help Diluc in a way that matters, considering the look of relief he shoots you when you’re able to distract her.

Your role as a babysitter goes well… until it doesn’t.

"It was nice playing with you, little seelie!" Klee chimes cheerfully. You coo at her, right up till the point she says, "Let's play another time, okay?"

Where are you going? You squeak, flying in front of Klee as she packs up her things. You nervously look at Diluc, hoping he can see you with how you flash your light like a siren, but his back is turned.

Klee only giggles. "Do you want to come with me too? Let's go!" She says, bounding out the door with terrifying timing when everyone's too distracted to stop her. You watch with growing horror as she runs with arms outstretched into the streets of Mondstadt, and you only have a split second to decide to follow after her before losing her completely. (In retrospect, perhaps it would have been better to tell Diluc, considering how little you could do as a seelie, but you forget that at times, especially in moments like these.)

You follow Klee, glancing around nervously for any roaming hilichurl or abyss mage. Miraculously, the two of you don't run into any enemies, though you did urge her to go around the path when you spot a few of them walking toward you. This is out of my pay grade, you think warily, and if you had a heart still, it would be beating rapidly with the self-contained panic every time you narrowly miss a confrontation with an unsavory crowd.

When Klee leads you into Dragonspine, which you now know to be a snowy terrain whose chill is cold enough to make you shiver, you want to cry. Where are you going? You want to ask, Why are we here? You watch as Klee picks a random direction to go in, and you can only follow her, twirling around sources of heat at every opportunity so that she knows where she can stay warm.

Having Diluc here would be nice, you think, as you float next to the orange seelie that radiates warmth much like a campfire. The fires Diluc would light easily if he were here, the warmth he would exude for how hot pyro users run... You think warily that you're going to make him worry again, having disappeared with Klee, but for some reason, you feel reassured that he'll find you again eventually.

It is many minutes traveling in Dragonspine when Klee puts a finger to her lip and asks you, "Do you think you can find my big brother?"

Here you are, following Klee this entire time, only to find out you are both lost. Next time, you think to yourself, as Klee describes her big brother Albedo and you quietly listen, no matter how Diluc looks at you, you don't think you can ever accept being a babysitter ever again.

(When you're attacked by hilichurls, you think of distracting them as Klee runs to safety, but then she throws literal explosives at them to defeat them soundly and you think that at least there is one less thing to worry about.)

.

.

.

You let your instinct take the lead this time, as something within you pulls in a certain direction. Asides from the basic investigative skills (footsteps here, disturbed bush there), it is a miracle that you lead Klee to the encampment that Albedo had set up for his experiments in Dragonspine. It's not as though the path was particularly hard to traverse, but it did take some backtracking and maneuvering around Fatui camps (will Diluc end up fighting them looking for you, you wonder). You breathe a sigh of relief when you see Klee leap up to hug the blond, doe-eyed alchemist whose eyes widen at her arrival.

“Kl-Klee? How did you get here?” Albedo stammers, looking over her before landing on you. You simply twirl in the air in greeting, and the alchemist can only blink. (You never realize this, but this is one of the very rare moments Albedo is ever flustered-- courtesy of Klee.)

Klee goes on a long monologue about you as well as the adventure to get here, Albedo nodding in understanding ever so often, when you hear the crunch of snow behind you. Your mood lifts along with your body as you recognize the familiar tuft of red hair against the whitest of snow.

“There you are,” Diluc says, setting down his broadsword. He sounds out-of-breath, most likely weary from the fact the two of you disappeared and from the climb to get to Dragonspine. You glow immediately from his evident relief, and you race to him, nuzzling into his neck in an affectionate hug to which he immediately responds by brushing the back of his gloved hand onto you.

How did you find me again? You ask, easily sitting on the hand Diluc offers you.

“Kaeya told me that Albedo was in Dragonspine,” he explains. “Knowing Klee, this was the first place I thought to go to, and I know you wouldn’t let yourself split off from her.”

You nod sagely, though that line of thought would have made sense to anyone who generally knew Mondstadt geography. You look up at Diluc in confusion when he pets you.

“I would have found you anyway,” he says softly, “even if you weren’t together.” You feel yourself grow warm. “I’ll always find a way to find you.”

(Even in this snow? You wonder, even in this frigid wonderland? Through the driest of deserts and coldest of oceans? And you can imagine that if you had asked him this, he would have said ‘yes,’ though that was just what you hoped.)

You coo softly, flying up to gently press your face to his cheek in a gentle kiss, and the smile that Diluc gives you, you think, should be warm enough to melt even the snow on Dragonspine.

.

.

.

.

When the wind grows harsh in the changing of times, you find flowers of blue and white hidden amongst the fields of grass. And when Stormterror abandons his domain, you lead Diluc to a red, crystalline teardrop that neither of you can touch without protection. You thank the stars Diluc is not a man to shy away from danger, especially when it pertains to the safety of Mondstadt, because he follows you wherever you lead him-- finding teardrop after teardrop scattered across lands festered with monsters.

(“It’s a well-kept secret, despite the way he acts,” Diluc says, leaning on his propped-up arm by the fireplace. He huffs in laughter when you trill-- my lips are sealed!-- and the two of you would watch the embers slowly die out. )

It has become more and more evident as time goes on that you are more than you appear. Your small size and dedication to following Diluc are already indicative of your unique nature as a seelie. What makes you particularly distinct is your penchant to find things or people that many would consider strange. Even before you found these objects, being able to find the elusive Venti would be indicative enough. You don't know what was so strange of him besides his eternally youthful appearance and talent of disappearing into the wind (you thought that was just what people could do, okay?) until Diluc tells you of his godly origins one late night in the winery.

Your proclivity for the unique is something that does not go unnoticed by Albedo.

“I would greatly appreciate being able to tag along on your next journey. I’m very interested in seeing what you, as a seelie, can do,” Albedo tells you. When you meekly titter in Diluc’s direction, Albedo raises his hands reassuringly. “Ah. Don’t be nervous. It’s quite alright if you don’t lead us to anything. It’s all part of the process. Klee has told me much of what you can do, and I’m simply interested in learning more about you, as special as you are.”

Diluc looks to you, waiting for your response as you float in the air, pondering. You cock your head to the side, and he only shrugs, answering the nonverbal question you shoot at him.

“You’re the guide. It’s up to you,” he says, and that is all you need to look back at Albedo (who has been observing everything thus far with keen eyes) and bob yourself up and down in agreement.

“We can meet at Windrise in one week’s time,” Diluc says to Albedo.

Albedo nods, taking one last look at you before pushing himself off the tavern stool, ending the conversation until next week-- that is if Kaeya were not there.

“You aren’t planning to go on an adventure without me, are you?” He says, and Diluc can only sigh.

.

.

The week passes quickly and the four of you (Diluc reluctantly allowing Kaeya to accompany the three of you) meet up at the Statue of the Seven near Windrise. You prove yourself once again when you lead Diluc, Kaeya, and Albedo on an off-trail route to Daudapa Gorge. They all follow you, climbing up the cliffside, until you lead them to an unusual hilichurl of blue hair and a talisman on its mask. To keep with the consistency of your battle-filled wanderlust, the unusual hilichurl starts throwing items-- some of which you can recognize from your previous(?) life and some of which you’ve never even seen before. The barrage of things is incessant until fire, ice, and bursting flowers make him escape into his suitcase, leaving behind strange four-pointed stars that glimmer for a moment before disappearing, much to Albedo’s disappointment.

The silence that follows after the oddest encounter you have ever led Diluc to is deafening. You can’t even bear to turn your body to face Diluc who you know is looking at you with a (fondly) exasperated expression. “Trying to outdo yourself every week, aren’t you?” He asks, and if you could, you know that you would be blushing.

Kaeya makes it a point to make your embarrassment worse, as he often likes doing. (You know Kaeya shows his affection through teasing remarks, but oh, what you wouldn’t do to be able to retort back to him once without Diluc having to come to your rescue.) “Your mini seelie finds a lot of strange things, don’t they?” He says, giving you a cat-nipped smile when you bristle and squeak. “Maybe the seelie thinks you’re strange Diluc. Maybe that’s why it follows you around--”

“Shut up, Kaeya.”

“That’ll cost you, you know.”

You watch the two bicker back and forth in a manner that is now very familiar to you, not noticing the alchemist observing you in the background.

“I’d like to test something if that’s alright with you.” Albedo suddenly says to you. “Nothing painful,” he reassures you, even though you hadn’t said a word. “I’ll simply be asking you to do your best to find Master Diluc to test a theory of mine.”

Why Diluc? You wonder.

“Why me?” Diluc repeats your thoughts. “I didn’t realize we would still be under observation after this one journey.” You think Diluc sounds testy-- in a manner that is unlike whenever Kaeya drops by his tavern and more like when fire abyss mages show up on your path. You are alarmed, unsure why you feel the tension rise despite Albedo’s unbothered demeanor.

And while Diluc would never thank Kaeya for his quick wit and way with words, you definitely would, especially when he jumps into the conversation with an easy lilt to his voice to de-escalate the situation (for once). “A-ha, worried that your time with your precious companion is being encroached upon, Master Diluc?” He teases, “Or perhaps you’re afraid you’ll be separated from your precious seelie?”

“Kaeya--”

“Your relationship with your seelie is unique, just as your seelie and its abilities are unique,” Albedo interjects before Diluc could pull out his greatsword. “I’d like to qualitatively and quantitatively define them, if possible.”  He pauses, addressing you directly. “I thought this would prove fruitful for you as well if you were ever wondering what your... purpose is, as one might say.”

How rare it is to have an opportunity like this just fall into your metaphorical hands, you think. You are interested in knowing more about yourself. It wouldn’t change much about how you want to stay with Diluc, but there is a sense of peace knowing what you can and cannot do. In Albedo, you see a man of science through-and-through (even though he evidently defies the laws of transmutation you learned from a certain anime). He sees things for what they are, always addressing you when he wants to talk to you, and recognizing that you can speak for yourself. In some ways, he is no different from Diluc, who has never demanded you to be more than what you are as his companion.

If you decide to do something, Diluc respects your decision-- which is why he only watches you quietly as you croon in agreement. You glance over at Diluc to wait for his consent as well, and he can only sigh. (You don’t know it, but he cannot say ‘no’ to you.)

“I have one condition.” When Albedo nods, Diluc continues, “We do nothing to put them in danger. Is that clear?”

“Crystal,” Albedo says immediately, and you almost miss what he says next, as distracted as you are by how Diluc comes closer to you almost protectively. “I’ll converse with you to let you know what you’ll be doing, but there should be no harm done to anyone during this experiment. How does the day after tomorrow sound?”

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.

.

Diluc heads to Dragonspine without you, for what feels to be the first time in forever. Now that you think about it, has Diluc ever been separated from you the same way you have been separated from him? Even though you’re the seelie, he’s always the one finding you-- have you ever needed to find him?

You want to be able to find Diluc as flawlessly as Diluc can do for you. You want to know, and you especially want Diluc to know that you will always be able to return to him no matter what. Succeeding in this self-given trial of yours will provide definitive proof whether or not you can. With that thought in mind as you float up the slopes of Dragonspine, you think there’s a lot more at stake after all.

You titter nervously when you find Albedo in his camp, and when he spots you, he waves you over as he prepares for the journey with you. “I told your companion to get a headstart,” he says to you. “I won’t know where he’s gone either, so it’s a double-blind experiment. Feel free to use any way you see fit to find him and I’ll follow you.”

You nod dutifully, and when he does nothing else but follow your movement with his eyes, you realize that those were the only instructions you were given. Find Diluc, you think to yourself. Should you start to conjure an image of him in your mind to guide you? That was easy enough to do: half-lidded red eyes that soften when he sees you, red hair you’ve dazed off in more than once, black coat he’s used to shield you from the weather despite your immunity to it, and black boots that are worn to the heel when he follows you.

You are only a few steps away from the camp when you feel a growing panic, for no matter how much you think of Diluc, you don’t feel anything telling you where to go.

When you guide Diluc, even if it’s an impromptu journey, you feel a pull to go somewhere. You’ve once thought it to be your whims but after finding so many other things on purpose and having that same familiar pull, you know that it isn’t just your curiosity guiding you. You conjure up his image, you think of how much you want to find him, and still-- nothing.

How are you going to find him now?

You follow those footsteps, with not much else to go on, and you hope with all your might that perhaps these are the only signs you need to find him. When you reach a snowstorm, your heart falls, only to see that the heat source midst of the snowstorm has been activated. In a place with newly fallen snow and no fireplace, you see a tree with the snow shaken off from its lower branches, and that's when you realize that these are clues that Diluc has left for you.

You look frantically around, following the most likely path he would have taken out, and are met with crossroads. You're tempted to choose a random road and stick with it, but your random choices and the instincts you have been using this entire time are not the same. If you could, you would grunt in frustration, but it comes out as a high-pitched squeal instead (that Albedo takes note of just in case). How were you supposed to-- and then you see footsteps clear as day around the bend of rocks and realize it's Diluc’s.

Does he know, you wonder, that you do not know how to find him? Or did he leave these signs regardless just to make sure you do?

Diluc wants you to find him-- and you find it hard to explain why that means so much to you.

You follow the footsteps, the snow, the branches, and the flames with growing anticipation to see that bright tuft of hair amidst the whitest snow you've ever seen. You're led into an icy opening where heat sources have been activated, and it's hard to contain your excitement when you notice that all of them are activated. You're so close to him; you can feel it.

You rush to the center, hoping to see Diluc-- only to see a gaping chasm where the ice broke, and your heart freezes over.

"Ruin guards," Albedo murmurs, taking note the same time you do that there are various irreparable ruin guards within the hole. If Albedo says anything, if anyone else shows up afterward, you do not notice. The only thing in your mind was the worst-case scenario: Diluc might be hurt, and you didn't know how to find him.

You jet off into the chasm, flying from corner to corner to find him. Every time you see a gleam of red, you desperately hope it is him, but it's just shards of scarlet quartz Diluc must have broken to keep himself warm. Follow it, you think, follow the trail-- quickly!

The path leads to a waterfall where enemies are littered on the ground, including an ice lawachurl right in the river's path. Diluc, you think, following the line of arrows up the snowy hill. You fly up and up and up and as the footsteps fade and you grow colder, you think chillingly that if you were cold, then--

What would you do if he got hurt? What would you do if you could never find him ever again?

No! You think, no, no! Your barely contained composure breaks again with the rising panic. You zip forward, searching for the nearest heat source and praying (to Barbatos, perhaps, or any other god out there that Diluc has yet to tell you-- that he promised to tell you about) that Diluc is there. In the face of your great love for Diluc and the helplessness that comes with it, you have never felt so lost.

Overlooking a tree, you spot an orange seelie-- a heat seelie!-- and speed to it where it slowly looks in your direction. Can you please, you begin desperately, help me find someone? He must have come here before. Red hair, black clothes, big sword? You spot another looking your way and you ask it the same thing. You attract another and you repeat yourself again.

Please, you tell them, I need to find him.

Slowly but steadily, they all look in one direction, and you are off at once. (You forget to say thank-you; you're normally better than that, but you hope the seelies can forgive you just this once.) You fly as fast as you can, begging whoever is listening that the seelies did not mistake someone else for Diluc. And when you see Diluc at the campsite, you finally can breathe again.

Unharmed, his head in a towel to dry off his wet hair, Diluc is fine. You can barely believe what you’re seeing as you numbly float to him, checking him from head to toe for any injuries you can perceive. You don't feel as though you're doing that well of a job though, considering the only thing running through your head that he was safe and what would you have done if he wasn't--

Before you reach him Diluc turns his head to you like clockwork, as if he always knows when you are here. (There are those red eyes again, you think, and wonder if his affection for you will ever run out.)

“Ah, there you are,” he says, almost as frantically as you felt finding him. “I was about to go look for you since you weren't with Albedo." He gives you a smile when you slowly approach him. "I was worried," he says, "I--" He freezes in the middle of his sentence, eyes widening before slowly softening with every passing moment watching you. “Hey,” he says tenderly, raising his hands to cup you close to him. “It’s okay. I’m fine; I’m here.”

If Diluc ever doubted how much you cared for him, he does not have to look any further than the tears that drop down your translucent body, disappearing before they fall off of you. You don’t understand how you can cry, considering what you are (and the lack of tear ducts), but you do anyways, ears drooping as all your worries, concerns, and relief manifest into tears.

I’m so glad you’re okay! Your trills and squeaks are nothing more than hiccups in-between tears. I’m sorry I couldn’t find you earlier!

And Diluc does his best to wipe away the droplets that come from where your eyes would be as he continues to soothe you through them. “You found me,” he says, voice warm like the hands he holds you in. You don't have the strength in you to tell him otherwise when he repeats it to you again and makes you believe it. “You found me.”  

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.

You spend the next half-hour or so with Sucrose who calms you down a great amount. Her genuine eagerness for alchemy combined with her shy, nervous demeanor is something that endears her to you quickly, especially when she is trying her best to make you feel better by rambling about her latest experiments.

With the worry for Diluc gone, you feel reaffirmed in your relationship with him. You are sad and will be for a while, that you do not have the talent to find Diluc whenever you can, but you are reassured by your determination to do so despite it.

Getting lost and being found again-- it seems as though that’s the cycle the two of you have started together.

“I apologize for causing you distress.” You perk up from your position above the alchemy table when Albedo walks back to you after a brief conversation with Diluc over the bubbling mechanisms on the table.

“Dragonspine is still an unpredictable terrain and I had not taken into consideration that there would be problems using this area as our testing ground,” Albedo says with a twinge of regret. You can understand him well enough to know that he truly did not intend for the day to be so emotional, so you squeak in response and fly in a loop. He looks relieved when you do, and you think for a brief moment that perhaps he isn’t so hard to read after all.

“Though the procedure was… unexpected, I hope you learned more about yourself as I have.” He waits as you eagerly nod in agreement, and you see him briefly hesitate. “...There’s a type of loneliness in being different. I’m sure you know this very well,” he says quietly as you float. “If you wish to learn more about what you are, feel free to visit any time. I will be happy to help.” The smile he gives you is partly fond as it is lonely, and you can only fly up to gently bump your head against his in response. “Until next time then,” he says with a tone of finality. “Perhaps when your companion isn’t so protective over you.” (Which is unlikely, Albedo thinks, but not impossible.)  

Until next time, you say, watching as Albedo walks away into the snowy terrain. You spot Diluc, hands crossed as always as he leans against the darkened bark in a manner that is so reminiscent of the first time you found him. You feel oddly nostalgic as he watches you intently. Then, you do a somersault, and, going full circle, he smiles at you.

“Let’s go home,” he says to you, and you follow him, just as you did in the very beginning when you found him.

(If there is anything that the two of you could conclude at the end of this, it is the confirmed knowledge that the two of you would go till the ends of Teyvat to find each other again.)

--

[temp taglist]

@thetwinkims @loveyoutothestars @ninqat @winterptilopsis @nya-vivi @just-noelle

[masterhandss]

Who do you think katarina will end up with?

Anonymous asked: Who do you ship katarina the most with ?

I got these two questions consecutively, I'm assuming they are coming from the same person so I'll combine them to a single reply, if that's okay.

People who have been following me since the first season can probably tell that I really like Geordo x Katarina (GeoKata) the most out of all ships. At first it was mostly just because I have an unintentional biases towards characters with blonde hair, which is why favorites were GeoKata and MariaKata, but then when I slowly got into the series more, my biases permanently shifted to the G-boy.

I'm not really a fan of laying out why I like certain ships through test to be honest. I usually get super frustrated when zine mods ask contributors to explain why they like a character or ship for contributor spotlight graphics because I can never really say everything I feel correctly hgdsjsdgfj, which is a good thing someone had already asked me a similar question before so I'll just copy paste my response here if that's okay :DD

TLDR; I ship Katarina with Geordo (Maria, Sora and Cezar behind him), and I think Katarina will end up with Geordo :))

You didn't really ask why but I'll give it anyways :)) -> major light novel spoilers, by the way <-

I'm not really the most deep person, if a ship has the bare minimum of something that I like (a trope or a hair color combination) then I stan it hard. That's why I used to be so equally adoring to both Maria and Geordo, because hurrdurr blonde hair hurrdurr. But the more I read the books and got into the community, I eventually liked him more than Maria. I didn't understand how or why at first, since Geordo and Maria are undergoing a very similar character arc: both characters wants to become better people in order to become worthy of Katarina (Geordo emotionally, and Maria physically? magically? in terms of her position/social status? I can't think of a right word but you get it). Again, Maria and Geordo's struggles are similarly written but one of them is more compelling to me. I feel like Maria's problems are easier to solve (her inability to rely on people, her attention seeking and her desire to be more magically powerful) imo, since she's already a well-liked figure in the Ministry and she's already a high-level magic user. Geordo's though; the series doesn't put too much attention on it, but despite the fact that Katarina gave his life color, he still somewhat sees the world in a desaturated light even post-childhood according to the novels and his lack of empathy still prevents him from completely absorbing all the colors. He's still learning how to see and he is happy that Katarina is always there to help him learn how.

I just love the irony that Katarina sees Geordo as a Perfect Prince and feels that she is inferior and unworthy of him, but then Geordo also seems himself as flawed, inferior and unworthy of Katarina and sees her as someone perfect. Geordo constantly wants to be better for Katarina (and for the people around him), and in time, maybe he could become a motivation for Katarina to be better too (on Katarina's side though, because on Geordo's she doesn't have to because she's already perfect the way she is). Geordo, while being self-centered and aggressive in his pursuits, isn't always selfish and thinks about what Katarina wants too. He'd fight tooth and nail for her and will do whatever he can so that Katarina will love him in the same way, but that doesn't mean he wont respect her decision if she falls in love with someone else, he just wont lose without a fight that's all (and fight, he'll give that's for sure).

Geordo is crazy in love with her; wants to protect her happiness, keep her safe whenever he can, and is even willing to both fight to become king and throw away the life he currently knows if it means he can live a life where he and Katarina can be together wherever she is most content and happy. He wouldn't lock her up in the castle like a caged bird like what Keith and some fans of the series thinks, whenever he does have thoughts like that like in Volume 6, its his internal response to the lack time they can have together alone, rather than being indicative of how he wants to treat her (like in his desire in Book of Desires, he conjured up a literal honeymoon because a honeymoon is the only time where he can spend it with her alone without someone butting in! It's weird and exaggerated, but his desire is simply to just be able to spend a day with her and be able to pursue her romantically without the threat of people like Keith and Mary).

Katarina sees him for himself, and she extends her hand of friendship to him despite all her fears of her bad ends involving him. She knows he's a "sadistic prince" but doesn't always tie him to that title. Out of everyone, Katarina has just as bad, if not worse, initial impression of Geordo compared to almost everyone around him (Others sees him as a Perfect Prince while she sees him as a Sadistic Prince and Future Murderer), and yet she accepts him and wants to learn more about him. She supports him and wants him to find happiness in love with Maria, even if it means she'll get exiled to another country or to a far off farm! (i'll edit this with citations later)

I can't help but want that for him, someone who there for you through thick and thin, who supports him despite everything she knows about her future involving him. Katarina is everything he would ever want in a partner: someone who isn't disturbed by his past, can see through his fake smiles, constantly cares for him, sees him beyond his princely façade, is one of his first friends who has helped him create friendships with other as well that prevented him to wallow in isolation and hate of the version of himself that society created for him, is genuinely interested in him as a person, is endlessly fun to be around and unpredictable, and is overall beautiful inside and out.

Again, a lot of Maria and Geordo's struggles are very similar to each other, but I'm more interested in Geordo's side. I find it more compelling. Geordo's scenes always almost provides something new, we get to see him angry, flustered & embarrassed, scheming/conniving, possessive, grateful, sad & frustrated and so much more. Maria has that too (we get to see her sad and thankful), but this might be my own perspective of reading the novels, but Maria's scenes kinda feel the same to me. It almost always starts with Katarina helping her and her realizing time and time again how much she loves her and become more motivated to be a better version of herself. I mean its unfair to say that they are all the same but that might just be me. (Maria: wow I'm so grateful for everything Katarina has given me, I want to be with her forever (rinse and repeat for the next 5 books))

Yes I know it's beautiful to see Maria falling deeper and deeper in love with Maria, but I'd rather see moments of someone who is trying to advance on those feelings rather than someone who is still trying to understand what they feel. Declarations and descriptions of love are beautiful in literary works and it always gets my heart fluttering, but I can read fanfics if I want to see that be written in 8 or more ways. Give me some action, some internal conflict!

It also doesn't help that it makes me really really happy for Geordo that he's made a dent in Katarina's baka shield? Katarina's heart skipped and fluttered for a second when Geordo was patting her head, and it makes me want to root for him even more! (Yes, go break the bubble! You can do it!!)

It's not even the same doki-doki as when she gets charmed at how pretty Maria is, to me its different in a way that my small vocabulary can't explain.

And besides, it really is just a battle between the protagonist that almost ruined her life (Maria) and the love interest that almost ruined her life (Geordo). Keith is part of that equation too, but he was never a threat after they became close (narratively, its seriously just Maria vs Geordo vs Keith, ignoring the changes to that narrative by FL2). It's always about Geordo (and Maria), everything she's doing in the Fortune Lover 1 Arc is because of Geordo (and arguably, Maria & Keith too) and the consequences of where he decides her future to would lead to.

It has to be Geordo, in my opinion, to show her that things aren't the same as the game (and he already kinda has, just a dent though) (If not Geordo, it should be Maria). He, who she feared and yet cared for so much

(I know Fortune Lover 2 basically removes that importance of Geordo and Maria specifically to Katarina's narrative by making her an active problem in all routes, finally becoming loyal to the title "All Routes Lead to Doom", but its not like the story is digging into Katarina's brain that she's sword training for the purpose of fighting back against all the boys, its still just Geordo, so idk I still count that in my shipper brain)

It also also helps that Geordo is basically the poor bullied animal in the hamefura community's eyes, regardless of how far he is into the battle (like in the reddit discord lmao). Yeah he has the best chances which is why many people both in and out of the series find it so fun to drag him under because of his unfair advantage, which is fair, but just like how you feel when you see a small wounded animal, you can't help but want to help someone who has the whole world against him (there's literally a canon manga page with that joke lmao), which is how I eventually felt over time. He's so misunderstood and bullied by people despite the authors dedication to flesh him out more beyond being a possessive prince fiancé of Katarina because of the anime's adaption, so I'd rather give my biases to someone who needs (and deserves it) rather than other contenders who are already overflowing with love and support. Also who doesn't love a perfect guy who breaks when his beloved is harm/who opens up to the person he cares about most?

I know people will read this and find it unfair that Katarina is giving so much to Geordo, but he isn't really giving anything to her. One thing I'll agree that Maria has over Geordo is that Maria makes Katarina want to try and work hard. Seeing Maria improve her magic wants Katarina to do the same, and whether or not it's from motivation or fear of getting left out depends on the reader. So far we don't really have anything like that for Katarina with Geordo because most things involving Geordo intimidates her, compared to Maria who is surrounded by mysteries and adventure (though arguably it's Katarina and not her lmao, but Kat doesn't know that).

Katarina is already the most well-adjusted character in the story even as a child so the only thing to really explore from her is mostly just her relationships and skewed sense of reality. That's why I hope that Geordo will not only help her realize that she can be loved by her peers romantically despite her self-perceived position/role, but also be one of the persons to make her completely realize that she isn't living inside a game. I mean like I said a few paragraphs ago, he's already kinda doing it by constantly confessing his feelings to her, reminding her that he is a person with his own feelings and not a character programmed to fall for a heroine.

So yeah, I ship Katarina with Geordo for those reasons and believe they should end up together for those reasons.

If you ask me who I think would she end up with objectively, I'd still say Geordo. The author's focus jumps between Geordo and Maria so that really depends on who you're asking. It also doesn't help that Geordo is always in the marketing with Katarina in the books and games, which pretty much cements his Male Lead status to Katarina's Female Lead status lmao

Thank you for the ask lmao, I'll be updating this with more thoughts and possibly citations later :))

[heniareth]

Here's that ask I promised :D Some more questions for the OC ask meme <3

What is your character's biggest realtionship flaw? Has that flaw ever destroyed relationships for them before?

Companion they are closest to and why?

Thoughts on the Dalish?

What biases does your character have? (This can be in favor or against)

How does your OC react in stressful situations?

What do they like to ridicule and/or what do they find stupid?

Does your OC have recurring themes in their dreams?

What is your OCs proudest moment?

Did you create the OC to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

(These are a lot again, it is so hard to hold back xD So take your time and no pressure as always :) Just excited to get to know more about your Astala <3)

Thank you for the ask!! I had this sitting for forever, life has kept me busy, but I'm so excited to give this a go XD And to delve into some aspects of Astala that I haven't given much thought yet, so that's exciting.

What is your character's biggest realtionship flaw? Has that flaw ever destroyed relationships for them before?

Astala's biggest flaw when it comes to relationships is her inability to let go of people. On a positive note, this trait manifests as a very strong loyalty. On the negative side, it will lead her to cry after relationships that have ended and pour over them to try and find out what went wrong. It can also put her or other people she cares about in danger; especially in her position as the de facto leader of the companions, this could quickly lead to the loss of a whole unit (aka the three companions you can take with you on missions + the Warden). Luckily, she has Morrigan and Alistair (and Sten and Zevran) who can and will point out when a course of action is likely to put them in more danger than they already are.

Companion they are closest to and why?

Ooof, this is a tough one. Ironically, the romanceable four. Alistair is practically second-in-command, even though I imagine he’d protest at the title. They work closely together and are therefore quite close. Astala admires and respects Morrigan, even when her opinions and advice goes against most things Astala believes in. She’s the kind of friend you know would hide a body for you. Leliana is a friend in the more “common” sense. She and Astala both have a thing for nice clothing, their morals are similarly aligned, and they just get along in general. And then of course there’s Zevran, who’s Astala’s love interest. Funnily enough, they both started off annoying the hell out of each other over various petty reasons, and it takes them some time to really see each other for who they are. And from that point on there’s no turning back and they fall hard.

Thoughts on the Dalish?

The Dalish are an interesting subject. Astala hadn't met any previous to the Blight (although her cousin Shianni imagined her dad, who she never knew, to be a strong Dalish warrior). So to see them live these relatively normal lives when she encountered Zathrian's clan was... odd. But on the other hand, their lives were everything but normal because they spoke elvish, worshipped the Creators, had halla and could go wherever they wanted. So the first thing Astala did when she got there was ask a metric ton of questions about everything. On the other hand, the way some of the Dalish talk about the city elves makes her sad. They have a point , the city elves would probably treat one of the Dalish similarly, and she understands the distrust in anything that so much as smells of humans; but she still finds the divide tragic. She also thinks the Dalish are a bit too proud for their own good; but then again, how else are you going to defend yourself against a world that threw an Exalted March against your forebears' homeland?

What biases does your character have? (This can be in favor or against)

Astala is generally biased in favour of elves, and in favour of whoever she percieves to be the underdog in a given situation. This can lead her to get duped (it hasn’t yet in my current playthrough, but it probably will at some point).

How does your OC react in stressful situations?

When in stressful situations, Astala generally tries to remain in control of it. To do so, she relies heavily on whatever companions she has at the moment and the resources available, both in the environment and on her person. She tends to try and talk things out, but also to make rash judgements, which uuuuuh can backfire (she's quick to draw her blades, for instance, and that does not exactly help to deescalate situations). She also has a tendency to just seize control. She also will give orders and will expect others to follow them. The companions look to her as a leader, so that works out fine. In Redcliffe, however, she did find that the militia men would listen to the mayor, and not to her. That was frustrating for both parties.

What do they like to ridicule and/or what do they find stupid?

Human nobles. Just the whole package. From their fondness of dogs and their dainty dances (which her father, who was a bann's servant, would describe to her and her cousins) to their pointy-ended shoes and their petty grievances (because when you have enough money to boss other people around, all your grievances are petty, right?). A surefire way to keep the younger kids entertained was to pretend to be a noble, let them play servants, and have them wreak havoc upon you as they got orders wrong on purpose and "stole" the "noble's" belongings. Afyer the Blight, that fondness to ridicule sadly wanes away and leaves mostly frustration in its wake.

Does your OC have recurring themes in their dreams?

Astala is a terribly heavy sleeper. If she dreams, she doesn't remember it come morning. She can therefore sadly not report any recurrent themes in her dreams as of now.

What is your OCs proudest moment?

Apart from the power trip in the Fade (she walked out smiling and continued to smile until Uldred turned into a pride demon), it was probably when she got her first job. She was 14 at the time and overheard some boys talking about how a merchant was expecting a big shipment and looking for new help. Up until then, she had been trying to get a job as a servant like her father, to no avail. On a whim she followed the boys, and lined up with the other hopeful candidates in front of the merchant's warehouses for a try-out (a selection process entailing an unpaid day of work). She proved herself to be strong enough to lift and carry crates, small and nimble enough to climb to where others couldn't reach, and above all she got extremely lucky. She was called back, first for one month, then for a trimester, then for one year and for another. And while Cyrion would have liked his daughter to have an easier and less dangerous job, he was proud right alongside her when she brought the first coins she had earned home.

Did you create the OC to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

I created Astala's first version (which I mentioned in this post) based on a character that was very much an ideal; strong, kind, and above all, brave and adventurous. That first heroic version then got put through all the trials and tribulations of the story, and I was very much going with my gut instinct and not with a predetermined idea of the character when I tokk her decisions. So basically, this first versions had a good chunk of my morals and priorities. After the Deep Roads, that first version started getting depth; she reacted very strongly to having to shoulder the responsability of chosing a new king for Orzammar, for Ferelden, and defeating the Archdemon. From that point on, I started exploring why that reaction might have been so strong. Astala as she is now is the product of that exploration (during which she acquired some fears and pain points she shares with me. Examples are the fear of messing up, the sometimes blind loyalty or the need to shoulder all the responsability). Bottom line: she definitely has parts that are mine, some of which she acquired over time, but she's her own person. She's not me.

---

That was a lot of fun!! Thank you so much for the ask and sorry for the delay >.< But I'm very happy I finally came around to it, I always love answering these

[sakkac]

re: fumetsu no anata e as of chapter 139.2

this started as a response to @bestbonnist​‘s post on chapter 139.2 but now i’m just dissecting differences and similarities between tonari, mizuha, and kahak like im writing an essay for a uni class. i interchangeably use he/they pronouns for fushi and my writing may be clumsy (bc im not actually writing for uni ❤️).

mizuha is a broken mirror to tonari (and kahak a foil to the two aforementioned) in this modern-day arc, especially in their expressions of love for fushi. tonari’s love for fushi is aged over hundreds of years and mizuha’s, at first glance, is an infatuation just based on how long they’ve known each other. im the biggest kahak stan ever, but even i understand kahak’s love started as an infatuation for parona’s form. though, i’d consider the word infatuation compromised when it comes to defining mizuha’s love, bc u cant be sure if her love for fushi is entirely her own, seeing as it had been passed from generation to generation of guardians.

(chapter 134, read right to left)

tonari and mizuha aren’t that different once you look deeply into the both of them. mizuha’s personality and actions are factors in tonari’s dislike of her, but what ultimately repels tonari from mizuha is that she knows they’re similar, and that manifests most clearly in how she reacts to fushi being with mizuha. i.e. resenting fushi for using her friends’ vessels to help their “love life” in chapter 135.5. she can’t stand mizuha bc mizuha is able to express her love for fushi and fushi does not reject (or accept) it; tonari still hasn’t fully admitted to herself that she likes fushi romantically (perhaps because she can’t separate it from the devotion that led her to harden her body to poisons and to promise her corpse to rest at fushi’s feet), so seeing mizuha appear to progress further than she has irritates her. as for kahak, tonari only has the biases of the other pseudo-immortals and her own of past hayase reincarnations to rely on. (this is not as plot-related, but these two also both like books. kahak read tonari’s fushi book, so i wish they actually met, but in a world where tonari didnt hate hayase beyond death.)

tonari as a child seemed like she thought herself superior to others, perhaps a natural result of her upbringing. she was raised on a prison island, but she herself never committed any crime; banding together w other kids like her, writing about her life in her book (which keeps her separate from or above others in a way). but this thinking ceases at her relationship w fushi. however, i believe this started before they even met. tonari’s childhood dream at seven years old was to write a book her father would be impressed by. she also used to believe in god, while her family was still whole. she even prayed to god when he decided to participate in the tournament in chapter 35. however, she stops referring to god by the time her father had shown tarnish. coincidentally, she meets fushi, who would “upend everything... jeannanda and [her] fate.” she ends up, instead of writing for her father, writing a book to allow a peaceful existence for fushi for whenever they decided to come back. this act shows that the adult tonari has written fushi to a level above her, out of her reach. 

(chapter 35)

here i’ll quote ray’s words about kahak and tonari: “she also has a surprising amount in common with Kahaku, too, with the ‘I want to protect you even if you disagree.’” the way tonari had waited and honed her body for fushi resembles kahak’s attachment; she had finished living for herself, so now she was only allowing herself to live to further create an ideal vessel for fushi (which also brings up one of hayase’s goals). the difference is that kahak lived for fushi because, as raikkousaki said, fushi was the only thing he was “ALLOWED to live for.” however, while tonari is unquestionably devoted to fushi now, what pulled her to him was black hood’s coercion. as a result of black hood’s words to her, she manipulated fushi into helping her solve her problems, to save her from the island. this first “meeting” also revealed that she was attracted to their white hair; she later admits that she admires their fair skin, contributing to the idea that she could view fushi as the equivalent of a god or at the least, a vision of purity (which is :/ imo, bc of her dark skin). we should also keep in mind that, this, technically her first impression of fushi, and his later display of violent immortality in the arena would further his image as a “legend.” 

mizuha was exposed to fushi’s immortality and reveres him like tonari and kahak respectively do and did. instead of the specific word “legend,” it’s “immortal monster.” her first formal exposure to fushi’s fabled power was not unlike tonari’s, since mizuha had went into her grandfather’s library and read on fushi in chapter 124.1. after this, she manipulates fushi to save her, again paralleling the beginning of tonari’s relationship with fushi, but it’s from her overbearing mother and herself. both tonari and mizuha forced their problems onto fushi, but mizuha doesn’t have black hood stepping in front of her saying “you must lead him.” instead, she may have been influenced by the left hand, but i believe mizuha’s thoughts are majorly her own (left hand lies in wait within mizuha’s consciousness like a predator), and what they appear to say is that she’s leading fushi until he decides to follow her willingly. as for kahak, we only have a few pages on his childhood and what we can make of it and of his actions as an adult is that he was willing to follow fushi wherever they went, until left hand betrayed them both.

mizuha’s superiority complex comes from a different place than young tonari’s; she was a prestigious child from young, in addition to her fear of her uniqueness fading as she aged. this caused her to feel separate from other children. when she meets fushi, she sees how different he is from everyone else and uses subtle ways to keep him with her, while never directly admitting she wants him to stay with her, except for ch 125′s “i’m scared. stay with me tonight,” after her mother’s sudden murder. she usually uses excuses instead, like cutely demanding fushi to walk with her after school and go on dates with her.

(chapter 36 vs. chapter 128.2)

as fushi was introduced to the people around tonari and mizuha, they received similar reactions, i.e. “your hair is so pretty!” and “woah, his hair is white!” in the pages following these, the similarities continue into tonari and mizuha gaining ownership over fushi: in ch 36 oopa declares “tonari found him. so he belongs to tonari,” while the islanders try to get on fushi’s good side, and in ch 128 fushi goes out of their way to ask which club mizuha belongs to when asked to join a club (vocalizing her claim on them so she doesn’t have to directly do so).

(chapters 38, 106, and 139)

when the opening comes for mizuha to actually admit her feelings in chapter 139, she tries, but demands instead, “so... love me.” this recalls kahak’s confession to kai in 105.3, that he wants to “protect fushi’s humanity.” kahak and mizuha were both covered in blood when they spoke, but the atmospheres and characters are different; mizuha is clever w her words, but still too immature to let go of her pride, whereas kahak was the exact opposite. he rid of himself of his pride for fushi when he was a child, but said a lot of the wrong things to fushi when it came down to it. additionally, mizuha, when she wants something, she’ll phrase her words so that it seems like there’s only one choice: to follow her. this has been the case for others including fushi (chapters 120.2′s testing of hanna with “if i died, would you cry for me?” and 132.1′s “i’ll teach you about love” and the following guilt-trip). tonari is more direct with her words and meaning than either mizuha or kahak, bc of her personality. she directly confronts fushi when she realizes he had felt betrayed by her in chapter 38, because she still needed him for his plans. but mizuha is more direct with her actions; in chapter 129.1, she latches herself onto fushi, while trying to get information out of him. after the failed marriage proposal, rather than physically attaching himself to fushi like mizuha, kahak used acts of domesticity and protection to subtly appeal to and maintain his space next to them.

(chapter 38 vs chapter 139)

tonari’s “there are people in this world who are better off dead” above isn’t far from the knockers’ reasoning behind “wishing for death is paramount to being dead” and the reason for mizuha’s mother’s death: left hand decided to “eliminate the cause of [mizuha’s breaking point’s] stress.” what this shows is that tonari can also justify murder, though granted, this is from a hundred chapters ago. however, this black and white thinking comes back in the modern era where tonari holds prejudice against mizuha because of her relation to hayase. tonari knows her dislike of mizuha is unfair, she can’t get around it. tonari is still as prideful as she was when she lived on jeannanda; it’s just that she is able to use fushi to justify her opinions now. i also want to bring up mizuha’s reaction to her mother’s death and funa’s knocker’s “purging and guidance.” mizuha seems comfortable with the sight of death, despite having a more normal childhood than tonari, because her actual main concern overwhelms it; she is always thinking on how she can appeal to fushi (almost like kahak), or in other words, how to salvage her pride. so instead of being concerned over being the actual murderer, she is concerned with appearing as a murderer to fushi.

so to actually answer ray’s question, objectively, tonari’s love is as excessive as kahak and mizuha’s. but personally, i think tonari’s love for fushi right now is also unhealthy, though it comes out of good will. kahak’s love also ended in fushi’s benefit, but it was undoubtedly unhealthy. and ofc, mizuha’s love is also unhealthy; she reaches for fushi for perfection, tonari reaches for fushi for humility.

[life-rewritten]

START UP- DREAMS: DISILLUSIONS vs DESTINY

It's starting to get exhausting dealing with the discourse in Start-up, especially when revolving around the love triangle that refused to be ceased. Heads up, whilst I'm on here analysing mostly about the relationship with Dosan and Dalmi.  I didn't have a side for a long time, I also liked Jipyeong because he was based on Cyrano, he was the guy who wrote to her soul or whatever, but the thing is, as much as I've tried to follow where the show leads me, what clues the show leaves, which Fate is supporting (Fate represents the writer's opinion as well) and why a couple deserves to be together, whilst I've tried to be unbiased, I can't help but now shift the other way to Dosan 100%. I will be infuriated and disappointed if Dalmi ends up Han Ji Pyeong, there I said it, irrationally, possessively, and harshly. And I know this won't get a lot of notes and support but who cares. This is my voice and my opinion. I have come to dislike Jipyeong a lot, fear not this is not a Jipyeong hate post, I don't have it in me to make lists of reasons for why I dislike him, but this is about episode 11-12,  our characters breakdowns from their dreams and destiny.

 All of our main characters in start-up have a dream that yes again, Fate is trying to lead them to, but sometimes their goals don't align with what Fate has for them. The characters experiences; have shaped them to see the future in one way, to want things in another, and to also feel stopped cruelly by Fate and Luck each time it's near them, however, like with Destiny and Purpose, these characters are guided by Fate with good intentions, all the plans for Fate for them are to get to them to their most significant potential and success, even if it seems like it's not for them. Everyone is guided and pushed by Fate, almost forced even, if you try to do something that isn't for you Fate harshly stops you, if you try to run away from something that is for your benefit Fate forces you to go there. 

So our 4 main characters have a destined path for them designed by Fate, its to ensure their skills, growth and talents are utilised in every way possible. This episode it seemed like everything was crashing down for our babies but really, although everyone feels defeated this storm was a push in the right direction. Here's why;

DOSAN’S DREAM: TO BE LOVED

Dosan, my Dosan, no words to explain the hurt he went through this episode. The way his dreams came crashing right in front of him, the way that the only way for him to move forward was to be on pause for a while and fulfil what the world wanted for him, to be a genius. I've written so many posts about Dosan being the person who's the most needed, used and wanted in the world of Start-Up. He's the key man remember, he's the person who everyone falls apart without him there. This episode Dosan was forced to go to the next part of his destiny, somewhere where he'd be utilised more and needed. Dosan was born to code, he was born to be a genius, not even metaphorically, or jokingly, the boy was given coding as his strength, it's automatic to him, authentic to him and is the thing that he's the most accurate at. 

Except for so long because of this Dosan resented himself, he found it useless when he couldn't make friendships or connect with people correctly, he found it useless when it came to being loved for who he was, he found it useless when it came to him trying to find meaning for why he was such a loser. For him, coding was his comfort, his tool to help wherever he can (because that's just him helpful) and the only thing he could rely on. But because of this Dosan never saw how vital his coding was, he's humble, modest and just using it to help wherever he can, he didn't notice all that coding has done for other people. 

First, it provided his friends job they were happy in; Their potential was seen (CODA and 2STO. 

It led to an accurate handwriting forgery test to detect forgery other businesses. 

It led to success with Noongil for both Dalmi's grandma and so many other people,

 It led to him also accurately helping Dalmi code for her drug recognition app, which is also crucial for everyone to use. 

Dosan is incredible, and the fact that he didn't understand why Alex would spend billions and billions to just get him is so sad, but it's good because it means he's not going to go bad. I just love him (that's me being biased). Everyone can see (apart from Jipyeong who I'll explain later), how great he is, how important he is but Dosan only wants his dreams, to be loved. 

It's like he views his coding/geniusness like a curse? It makes him awkward and struggles with everything else, and it makes him feel worthless. All he's ever wanted was to be loved for who he really is (even though being a genius is also who he is);

He wanted his dad to love him without the idea of being a genius, 

He wanted his friends to be by his side just for him, 

He wanted Dalmi to love him only as his awkward, weird and stupid Dosan self. 

His dreams from the start felt blocked because everyone tried to push him to see being a genius as his dream. His father interrupted his speech to Park Changho about what he wanted to say the obvious; winning awards etc. Dosan saw it as a  burden, guilt, and just a barrier to actually loving himself for who he is. 

DOSAN’S DESTINY; TO BE A GENIUS AND THE NAM DO SAN OF DALMI’S LETTERS

Thing is yes I get it, I get why he just thinks being loved and being happy is enough for him. But I agree with Fate as we've seen Dosan is so needed by the world for all that he can do, he's automatically the most selfless and inventive person around him, he takes dreams, ideas, and illusions and makes them real. Heck, he's a real-life manifestation of dreams (Dalmi's own dream guy). He's so incredible the way he just is, the symbol for everyone's hopes and dreams to come through; this isn't me being biased! 

 In episode 12 alone we see it; 

He brings hope as a symbol for  Youngsan's dreams; to not be seen as a failure. 

He brings the solution for Dalmi's ideas to come through because he fixes and solves the coding issue for her on the plane.

 He brings proof for Chulsan who always wanted to be seen and noticed for his skills and be recognised by going to 2STO.

He also brought ease for Dalmi's grandmum to still live comfortable although she may not be able to see. Still, he also made her dreams for granddaughter come through because he is a real-life manifestation of the guy she wanted for her. 

 He also made wishes come through for Jipyeong despite him not seeing it: he's the real-life representation which helps repay Jipyeong's debt to the grandma.  

Dosan is so needed by everyone and also the world, so he couldn't stay stuck in the sandbox with Dalmi, he had to be forced to move on for now. So his dreams (to be loved) and her dreams (her dream guy) can come true. 

DOSAN’S STORM: BEING FORCED TO GIVE IN AND SEPERATE FROM DALMI

Fate forces Dosan to become great and self-confident and see he's worthy.

That's where Alex comes through because Alex for everyone is actually the representation of Fate/Purpose, he's here to be the storm that forces them to grow. Like Dalmi said it's Fall; she's falling before she blossoms. Alex is the falling step, he's the hurt, the betrayals, the challenges before the beauty/truth is seen and appreciated. He's the fire/heat used to make the diamonds. And he did it, he pushed everyone by force to their next destinations. And he chose Dosan because he saw what we've seen, he knows how desperately the world needed Dosan's skills, how much his headquarters needed Dosan. He saw it all, and harshly had to cause reality to come so everyone grows up and pushes forward to where they need to go. 

Symbols for Dosan's conflict with his dreams, vs destiny

Follow your dreams baseball: Dosan says he doesn't want the results and the awards Fate intends to bestow on him its led him to feel lonely with no one by his side. Fate doesn't stop his dreams as he thinks but also makes him viable for them without him knowing. Yes Dalmi broke his heart, but actually, it confirmed to us pretty much he's the one she wants, she selflessly chose to let him go because of how much she loves him, and he'll keep being in her heart until he returns. It also made her realise he is the guy of her dreams (despite the fact she said he wasn't) she was lying; everything she said was the opposite, he was the guy from her dreams, but at that moment life was making her think it was an illusion. 

But in a show that is so supportive of dreams it literally is named after a place to prevent dreams from being ruined, Dalmi and Dosan will get back their dreams; its already in motion. 

DALMI'S DREAMS: TO CONTINUE HER FATHER'S LEGACY AND BE SUCCESSFUL WITH HER CHOICES; TO PROVE EVERYONE WRONG/ TO BE CHOSEN

 Dalmi is someone who I absolutely love, she's determined, resilient and she's actually so bright. The thing with her so far is that we see her potential, her ideas are genius, and she also represents dreams becoming a reality that is useful and helpful for people; 

She's the one who poked Dosan in the right direction for the handwriting forgery test,

 she's the one who brought up the idea of the self relying car

 The person who brought up the idea for the drug recognition device. 

She's great. But also she has her own dreams, Dalmi's dream whilst Dosan's is to be loved, is to be chosen/wanted. From a young age, she felt slighted that her sister and her mother did not pick her and her dad, and the fact the world seemed to make fun of her choices made by her heart. She had dreams to prove to everyone that she made the right choice, that she was on the right path, but also she wanted to continue her father's legacy and dreams. She wanted to be successful with her choices. 

Her choices so far are: Her father, Dosan and being CEO of samsan tech. Each time she's been mocked, rejected by the world and hurt for her choices; 

She's mocked by her sister for staying with her dad when he was going to die, and leave her alone, and force her to be behind.

 She was rejected by the world as CEO of Samsan Tech when Alex didn't view her as useful or important, 

and she was hurt because she chose Dosan as her love interest, she was hurt because she had to let him go cruelly to be who he was supposed to be, she was meant to be left alone by him if he was to grow and become prosperous. 

In each of these, something great came out of it; her father inspired sandbox to be created, Samsan Tech was chosen by 2STO and won demo day, and Dosan was her dream guy manifested. 

 But she was the leftover, the discarded and the failure in each one. It's sad to see how much her dreams felt like disillusions, she was not the person winning from those dreams but the person those dreams did not belong to. Dalmi struggled this episode to see her self as worthy or needed. And that hurt. 

DALMI'S DESTINY: TO BE THE GIRL ON THE SWINGS; AN INSPIRATION, A LEADER AND EXCELLENT SOURCE OF HELP TO PEOPLE

Thing is Dalmi is needed. Her destiny is to be the very face of the Sandbox company. She's the original source of the inspiration of this company used to make sure everyone's dream doesn't get hurt or ruined. She's meant to represent, innovation, comfort and success. She's meant to be great, and Fate wants her to be great. She's a leader, a spark of ideas, and a catalyst to winning. She is important. And she's destined to become a great source of help to people. 

Notice the things she thinks of; its all to do with ease and helping people (like Dosan), whilst Dosan is application and manifestation, she's the innovation and inspiration to everything; 

She is the person who makes him find a way to sort out the handwriting test, 

She's the person who makes him realise how to sort out Noongil with VR and the voice activation,

 She's the person who comes up with the self relying car, 

She's the person who comes up with the drug recognition system. 

See she's already the source of creation for helping the world and making life easier for people and companies. We see what she's good at in episode 1 with her father (she comes up with ideas for him, and she stays by his side as a helping hand). In episode 2 before she quits, she was able to get her company the money needed for buying the products she knew what fangirls wanted, and she catalysed sales. She's a catalyst. So why is she being deserted by Fate?

DALMI'S STORM: BEING REJECTED AS A CEO AND FORCED TO GIVE UP ON DOSAN

Fate forces Dalmi to become self-reliant and determined, she's been given the tools, experience, the location, dream, and the people by her side she just needs to see it.

 Also, she was forced to reset, she was forced to go back and learn from her scars, remember she felt discarded by so many people, it wounded her pride and slowed her down, she was petty to her sister, and that always stopped her growth, Fate came in to force her to heal from that, to grow from that and work with her sister. Because they're both meant to fulfil her father's dream. Fate gave her the right people to use, and learn from (Dosan, Injae, Jipyeong, Sandbox owner, her father) to become who she's also meant to be. So it felt like Fall, but actually, it was for her to bloom into who she was meant to be.

If you noticed in episode 13 trailer: she has her own start up named after her father (fulfilling his legacy) she has the prototype for the car named after Dosan’s teachings (Tarzan) and she also works with Injae as well. She’s on her way to fulfilling her destiny, and Dosan needed to go for her to do so.

Symbols

Self relying car: Because those dreams aren't hers, see she's the catalyst in all of I've mentioned before, those scenarios where she's left, she's always helping others, but like her self reliant car, she needs to become self-reliant. Dosan is excellent to her he's her help, her inspiration, her guide, but she needs to grow and rely on her self, she needs to find out what her strengths are and not just rely on fantasies. Instead of dreaming it up, she needs to manifest it her self. She's now been given an opportunity without Dosan and JP input to find her own voice, where she's actually in charge and confident of what she knows.

Dosan's baseball: it was telling her to follow her dreams, not his, not JP, but hers. To do so, she needed to reset, return back to deal with her feelings, and pride and reunite with her scars and learn about her self. Dosan being there wouldn't help her at that moment. But also she returned the ball back to him: because he also needs to follow his path although he doesn't see it as his dreams; in doing what he was forced to, he'd return back to her and actually keep his promise/dream for her in episode 7 (to be wealthy and successful). 

In a way, disappearing is fulfilling both their dreams/ideas Dalmis dream guy comes back to her the way she asked him to in episode 10 (the suit), and He becomes a dream version of himself for her. She still is his dream, and he still is hers. 

It's funny how life works, it makes you face reality, but love brings fulfilment of dreams in a way you never expected it to, it's still going to get there, but you just have to climb up the mountain first before you see the view, a few obstacles to help you get to the top. 

JIPYEONG'S DREAM: TO HAVE SUCCESS AND TO BE WEALTHY; TO BE WANTED

Jipyeong is an interesting case, he starts off alone, all he dreams of when he's young is to be successful and wealthy. But I also think his dreams are similar to Dalmi's; to be chosen/wanted. He's been without anyone for so long, deserted by Fate to be alone; he's an orphan. He doesn't trust anyone because he's never known how to, everything felt difficult, and he had to fight his way out on his own. For him, clinging to logic and controlling the real world is how he survives and is successful. In fact, controlling/investing in numbers is how he got his first success, that brought him here. He's always wanted to be wanted and chosen. But he also sees success as being above others as well, because he's been looked down on so long when he was younger, he wanted a chance to be seen as important. 

In this episode everything comes crashing down for him 

He realises he's not essential; He didn't even know details about someone he claimed he cared about the grandmum and her blindness. He noticed Dosan already helped her with that not him.

He realises he's not wanted; Dalmi already wanted and was in a relationship with Dosan who he looked down on; who just proved to everyone he's wanted and actually destined for greatness and success. 

He realises he's not chosen; he stopped being seen as Samsan's Techs mentor by Yong San and everyone due to how much he belittles them and put them down. Because of this, they refused to listen to him when he tried to warn them and then he didn't try to help. He wasn't chosen by Dalmi although she thanked him for his words of advice. He wasn't chosen either by grandma because she already rejected him as Dalmi's love interest in episode 9. 

So basically everything was falling apart for him, and he also realised he wasn't a good person. Although fangirls will keep on saying the opposite, he's not a good person, he's selfish and always so focused on the surface that he doesn't look deeper or take a chance on things. It makes him an awful mentor; all he does is break people down instead of offering advice on how to move forward—a pessimistic presence. 

JIPYEONG'S DESTINY: FOUND FAMILY, TO BE WANTED DIFFERENTLY AND TO FEEL PEACE AND TRUST WITH PEOPLE. TO BE AN OLDER BROTHER TO ALL THESE CHARACTERS.

But the thing is like Jipyeong's strength has always been to do with Dalmi's grandmum. In fact, I wanted to say with Dalmi as well but not really cause he keeps crossing that line. His destiny has led him to finding someone who will choose and want him. Fate led him to Dalmi's grandmum in episode 1, it's why he was first shown, he also is being pushed by destiny to find the family he never had. It's about found family. Dalmi isn't meant to be his soulmate, she's meant to be family, just like the grandmum is like a mother figure to him. Jipyeong is meant to be loved, chosen and wanted as an older brother figure. I keep saying this, but you'll notice that's what the show has been showing, his advice only works when he's a mentor/ guidance to the group, it's like an older brother, he's meant to show them reality and berate them, but he's not meant to be the hero or the prince charming to Dalmi's rescue. 

His advice works especially for Dalmi, who needs guidance on reality. But it's for a family relationship; he's been like an older brother to Dalmi for a long time, despite the fact that he was her fantasy Dosan on paper (Dosan is the manifestation of that), but as an older brother, he's protective, caring and looks out for her in the right way, he guides her and becomes another male figure in her life that is comfort and advice after her father died. 

Jipyeong is meant to be a family member, that's why in the promo you see him finally getting his found family dream come true. He also said this was his dream/wish for his birthday he wanted a family to play go stop with; with Dalmi in his life, he's gotten a grandma, a mother figure (probably Dalmi's mum) and a sister (Dalmi). The fact that people don't see why this is what he was meant to be aiming for is funny to me. 

It's not just to Dalmi he's meant to be destined for. Its Dosan, Dosan and him are destined to form a brother bond its why Fate pushed him to Dosan from the beginning, he was meant to guide and teach Dosan how to fulfil his destiny, but he let jealousy and pettiness prevent him from being a good mentor to Dosan, he looked down on him and refused Fates call to invest and trust in Dosan. It was a mistake, and he knew it this episode. Also, he had a found family with Samsan tech, he had three people who would have been friends to him if he didn't berate them and put them down in a disrespectful manner, even Yong San is there to teach Jipyeong to humble himself. But also its Dosan and his crew who help him achieve what he wanted the most to repay his debt to grandma; they make noongil, they use his AI to make noongil, for grandma. He was just too prideful to see it. 

So Jipyeong is destined to become a good boy just like Grandma says he is like he's meant to grow to trust, and love and be chosen as a family member/ mentor. Its what he's been starved of for so long and where he's the most useful and needed.

JIPYEONG'S STORM: BEING SECOND LEAD AND FORCED TO SEE THAT HE'S WRONG ALL THE TIME AND SELFISH

Hence why his storm was exactly showing him all the ways, he failed though people didn't notice; it showed he was a horrible mentor because he didn't gain the trust and respect from his group, it showed he was an awful love interest because he was too focused on money and success to realise the girl he loved's grandma was going blind. He was against the source that was helping her, it showed he was always late, he was forced to be a second lead because Dosan has always been by her side helping and thinking of her first and foremost. Did he learn from his lesson? 

Fate forces Jipyeong to become humble, selfless, and reflective. He still isn't even close to doing so, but also to understand the value of money and greed to not look on the surface

From the trailer it seems like he still doesn't get it, he's still trying to cross that line, maybe I'm a fool, but even after three years I'm sure Dalmi brother zoned him, we'll see, but I think he's still prideful and didn't get what Fate was doing when it gave him three years to spend time with his found family. He still has a long way to go, but I'm sure he'll grow, and I'm his final fulfilment for his destiny in being a good boy would be choosing selflessly to bring Dalmi to Dosan. Because I still think that's how Fate has been using him this whole time. 

So these are the ways Fate pushed our characters to achieve their growth and become who they’re meant to be. In Jae also has her own story to tell but this was already too long and not connected to the love triangle. I’ll make her own post a review later on. But yeh I love this show, a lot of people like to call it useless, or failure to show its message, but this has always been an inpirational message about fulfilling your dreams and becoming the person you’re meant to be, how love helps that, but also how reality needs to happen for that as well. Life isn’t a bed of roses but we can always manifest and get our goals if we put enough effort and hard work into it. These characters all do that, and they all help each other grow. The love triangle may seem useless but it’s a learning point for all our character’s its a way for them to learn and change, and so I’m grateful for it. Just hopeful the writer doesn’t change her direction just because fangirls are threatning for her to make someone endgame who doesn’t deserve it. Okay that’s it. that’s the analysis for this week. Bye <3

[bestworstcase]

tired of ‘it doesn’t make sense for cass to trust zhan tiri’ takes 

cass is a cautious person with a good instinct for danger which yes means that for most of the show she is indeed the ignored voice of reason saying ‘hey this OBVIOUSLY SKETCHY situation is sketch’ YES

but

in the latter half of 2 she is mutilated by her friend, blamed for it, made to apologize for her own injury, denied any space to feel hurt or upset or angry about this, and literally told ‘you should know we never listen to you!’ when she gets mad about yet another instance of her saying ‘this seems sus’ only for them to literally walk out on her mid-sentence without even acknowledging that she’s speaking. 

cass tries again and again to communicate her feelings and every single time she’s brushed off or scolded or belittled by her friends. her friends have so little respect for her that by the time they hit the hoyt the aren’t even pretending anymore. this hurts her, terribly

then - ok listen. take off the ‘zhan tiri is a horrible evil monster’ goggles put aside your entrenched preconceived biases against this character for a minute. 

what is the first thing zhan tiri does when cassandra meets her?

cassandra hears a voice calling her name. following it leads her here, to a disembodied (disemwalled?) door in some sort of enchanted forest. this is one of those obviously sketchy situations that instantly puts cassandra on her guard: she draws her sword while getting her bearings. 

[sidebar: those light-and-dark green swirls on the forest floor look an awful lot like the clouds in the lost realm, don’t they?]

then: 

ZHAN TIRI: There you are, Cassandra!

[Cassandra looks around, sees Blue, and lowers her sword slightly in confusion. Blue approaches her.]

ZHAN TIRI: I’d nearly given up on you.

CASSANDRA: [shaken] Who- who are you?

ZHAN TIRI: A friend. Or, at least—I’d like to be.

cass at this point is baffled but still on her guard - she holds her sword in a low guard and she’s physically leaning away from the unsettling ghost child. 

more important here is zhan tiri’s opening gambit. ‘a friend, or at least i’d like to be.’ she’s dodging the question of what her name is, yes. but also the second part of that statement implies a correction of the first, an acknowledgement that they are not friends and becoming friends is contingent on whether cassandra accepts her overtures of friendship; there is, in saying ‘at least i’d like to be,’ an implication of acknowledgement of and respect for cassandra’s personal boundaries. this is not something cassandra has ever experienced before. contrast it with rapunzel’s aggressive, domineering pursuit of cassandra’s friendship in beginnings.

continuing: 

ZHAN TIRI: Come.

[She leads Cassandra away from the door, deeper into the enchanted forest. Though hesitant, Cassandra sheathes her sword and follows.]

CASSANDRA: Wherever you’re taking me had better have a blonde princess.

note how the blank confusion on cassandra’s face hardens into a glare the instant zhan tiri says something that could be construed as a command. cassandra has two years worth of experience in the minefield that is friendship with someone in a position of authority and power over her so of course she bristles at this. i think it is also not coincidental that she refers to rapunzel in response.

but there is also a second dynamic at work here. for two years cassandra’s whole life has been locked into orbit around the blinding sun of rapunzel, and even before then by nature of her existence in the palace as a young girl only a little older than the lost princess she would have spent her childhood in the shadow of a child who wasn’t even present. zhan tiri is the first person cassandra has ever met who is flat out indifferent to rapunzel’s existence. even in vardaros, where cass was better liked by the populace than rapunzel, the people still focused on rapunzel - they disliked her, and they cared enough to make sure she knew it. 

but zhan tiri does not give a single fuck about rapunzel. she ignores cassandra’s attempt to make rapunzel relevant to this conversation. she called out for cassandra. she has been waiting for cassandra. she has something she wants to show cassandra. she wants to be cassandra’s friend. rapunzel just...doesn’t matter to her, but cassandra does. and that is disarming, both in the figurative and literal sense. so cass puts her sword away and goes to see whatever it is that this strange child wants to share with her. 

[They reach the forest’s edge and enter the memory. Cassandra is startled, struck by the familiarity of this new setting.]

CASSANDRA: This place... feels familiar?

[Blue takes her by the hand and leads her into the cottage. She remains silent, allowing Cassandra to take it all in, until Baby Cass enters with her music box.]

ZHAN TIRI: Do you recognize that child?

[Her prompting makes it click for Cass that she’s watching herself as a child.]

again, set aside your knowledge that zhan tiri is an evil villain and your instinctive distrust of everything she says and just... take a look at this screenshot. what does it look like if you take what zhan tiri says in this sequence at face value? 

this is a horrible memory. zhan tiri knows precisely what it entails, because she is the one who dredged it out of cassandra’s mind and set it up for her to experience again. cassandra, however, has only just recognized her younger self and has no idea what’s coming. it’s going to hurt her so badly when she remembers everything—but this is an experience she needs to confront in order to heal from the damage it did to her. so much of her suffering can be traced back to this defining, forgotten moment of her childhood.

we the audience know that zhan tiri doesn’t care, doesn’t have any real interest in genuinely helping cassandra, isn’t revealing this memory to her out of the goodness of her heart - but all cassandra knows is that this is a strange ghost who expressed a desire to be friends and has brought her here to, apparently, show her a childhood memory she forgot. so erase your audience knowledge from your brain for a second and look at zhan tiri’s expression here.

she looks weary. sad, even. she looks like someone who truly values cassandra’s wellbeing, who knows that reliving this memory is going to hurt, who’s showing it to cassandra anyway because she thinks cassandra deserves to know and she understands that this is the root cause of cassandra’s pain and that in order to grow and heal it must be seen, it must be acknowledged, it must be examined.

and that is the impression of zhan tiri’s character that cassandra walks away from this experience with. someone who saw her, and saw her pain, and saw the deep festering forgotten wound of this memory buried under layers of repression and denial, and gently unpeeled those layers and brought that wound to light, because she knew cass couldn’t heal from it if she didn’t know it was there.

moving on: 

[Baby Cass approaches Gothel with the music box, only to be coldly brushed off.]

CASSANDRA: ...That’s my...

ZHAN TIRI: Mother, yes. It is.

[Skipping transcription of the remainder of the flashback; what matters is that Blue exists the scene at this point. She isn’t just standing quietly in the corner; she is fully gone, leaving Cassandra by herself to experience the rest of the memory.]

again - obviously zhan tiri knows what happens in this memory, but that isn’t the point. by staying just long enough to help cassandra put this memory into context and then leaving, she gives cassandra complete privacy to process what she is seeing and feel whatever emotional reactions she has to it and express those feelings openly, without any of the reservations she might have about having a breakdown in front of a ghost she met a few minutes ago.

again, contrast this to the way rapunzel treats cass. in under raps, when cassandra tells rapunzel that she’s dealing with ‘some stuff’ and asks rapunzel to wait until she’s ready to share, rapunzel’s response is to stalk her. in RATGT, cass tells rapunzel that she feels disrespected and unwanted and rapunzel brushes her off. in RDO, when cass is mad because rapunzel’s reckless choices resulted in cassandra’s hand being mutilated, rapunzel is furious and backs cassandra into a corner in an attempt to force her to share her feelings and then get over it so things can go back to normal.

how soothing, then, must zhan tiri’s quiet departure must be for cass? how comforting, how much of a relief must it be to have this new person recognize by herself that cassandra needs a moment alone and give that to her without cass even needing to ask?  

there is, i think, a direct line of causation between zhan tiri exiting this scene and cassandra crying for the first time in the entire series afterwards while zhan tiri comforts her. cass doesn’t cry, right? even when she thinks rapunzel is going to be trapped as a bird forever, she stops herself from crying. she doesn’t cry when her hand is burnt in the great tree, not even from physical pain. she doesn’t cry in RDO. 

but zhan tiri is the only person in the whole series who shows consideration for cassandra’s emotional boundaries, so when cassandra is upset after reliving this memory, she freely allows herself to cry, and she lets zhan tiri comfort her. 

because it’s safe. so much blame is heaped upon cass for not being more open with rapunzel, but the thing is - a) cassandra is a lot more open with rapunzel than most of the fandom gives her credit for, and b) rapunzel is not a safe person for cassandra to be emotionally open with because she tramples boundaries, doesn’t listen, routinely chooses to hear only what she wants to hear, and never acknowledges or apologizes for any of the hurt this causes cass. 

which segues us into this:

ZHAN TIRI: I’m sorry that happened to you, Cassandra. Sometimes the most painful truths are the most difficult to remember. You’ve always felt outshined by Rapunzel, haven’t you? And you always will, unless...

in this statement, zhan tiri: 

1 - expresses sympathy for the trauma cass suffered

2 - empathizes with the pain she feels right now

3 - connects the dots between her past trauma and present angst

4 - verbalizes her fear that this pattern will never change

and

5 - offers to help.

zhan tiri is, once again, the only character in the whole series who does these things. in s1, rapunzel does occasionally try to be emotionally supportive of cassandra - under raps and big brothers of corona are the big examples here - but the way she goes about it tends to do more harm than good. in UR she runs roughshod over cassandra’s clearly stated boundaries and continually escalates to the point of actual literal stalking; in BBoC she utterly disregards cassandra’s statements vis a vis how rapunzel can help in favor of doing a bunch of other things that rapunzel thinks cass should want, and in the process she actively interferes with cassandra’s rest and makes her recovery experience worse.

in contrast, zhan tiri gets it. she is absolutely correct in her perception of the situation: cassandra has been trapped in this pattern of inferiority to rapunzel her whole life. her mother abandoned her for rapunzel, and everyone in her life now is willing to sacrifice cassandra’s needs, her feelings, her physical health on the altar of Rapunzel’s Destiny, and that will never change if she continues on as she has been. and... if cass tried to simply leave, by herself, do you really, truly, honestly think rapunzel would let her go?

she feels trapped because she is trapped, and she’s desperate for a way out, and zhan tiri sees that, understands that, and most important of all, shows her a way out.

so like

when she walked through that door in the house of yesterday’s tomorrow cassandra was a heap of emotional pain and unfulfilled emotional needs—for respect, for compassion, for basic consideration of her boundaries, for someone to see how much she’s hurting, for space to feel things without being asked to sacrifice more of herself for somebody else, for someone to care about her and what she needs and thinks and feels and wants, for an escape from the toxic inescapable dumpster fire of her life—and in the space of maybe a couple hours zhan tiri answered every. single. one. 

cassandra entered this situation expecting trouble, and instead she got someone treating her with dignity and compassion for the first time ever sO OF COURSE CASSANDRA TRUSTS HER!!

it beggars belief that the show expects me to believe she never bothered to ask what her new friend’s name was between this point and OAH, and yes, if cass were in a healthier place or surrounded by less toxic people then i’m sure she’d be more inclined to be suspicious of the weird little ghost child who reached into her head and pulled out a suppressed memory. but nevertheless it does, in fact, make sense for cass to conclude after this experience that blue is trustworthy and really does care about her and is a better friend to her than rapunzel. 

tts was allergic to acknowledging the legitimacy of cassandra’s grievances in any way after s2 and refused to allow zhan tiri even a modicum of depth as a character so the vast majority of their relationship exists off-screen, which is, yes, deeply frustrating and does a huge disservice to both characters and to the overarching plot of the season. but “why would cass trust her?” is a question the series answers, on screen, in spades.