letsrilakkusu-blog

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

My quest for Seventeen concert tickets

It's been just over a year since I slipped and fell HARD into the diamond life, and I have spent most of that year waiting and looking for a chance to see Seventeen in concert. My patience has been rewarded, and I'll be attending the Nagoya performance of their FOLLOW to Japan tour this December! It wasn't easy, and a lot of it really just came down to luck, but I thought I'd write about my experience trying to get tickets through various methods in case there's any international Carats who could use some guidance or encouragement.

Missed opportunities and hoping for another world tour

I became a Carat right when Seventeen was in the middle of their Be the Sun tour in North America, but it was my peak busy season at work and I couldn't justify trying to make a trip to see them. It couldn't be helped but I really regretted it later on. In November/December 2022, I traveled to Korea but had short stops in Japan on both ends, precisely when Seventeen was doing their dome tour. At this point there was no legitimate way to get tickets so I resigned myself to at least enjoying some of the Seventeen pop-up events around Tokyo. I also met a fellow Carat living in Japan who was able to attend multiple dates of the tour and I got maaaaajor FOMO.

I told myself that 2023 would be the year - they would come back to the states and I would be willing to drop some dollars to get good seats to see them. I bought my Carat membership to take advantage of any pre-sale - I was READY. It seemed like everyone was anticipating a world tour announcement after the release of FML. I was already feeling pretty antsy because I know Seventeen had a crazy increase in popularity in 2022 (I mean, I'm a part of it) so I was psyching up myself and my wallet for a ticketing bloodbath.

THEN Pledis only dropped two Korea concert dates and 12 dates for Japan for the rest of the year, and Carats around the rest of the world sighed.

Failed attempts to FOLLOW to Seoul

With the FOLLOW (not world) tour announcement, I grew increasingly desperate, particularly because I know there's not much time left with OT13 before the big E period begins. The Seoul dates were at the end of July and not ideal since my work is already ramping up by that time, but I decided if by some miracle I could get a ticket, I would swing a quick trip to attend the concert.

The miracle didn't happen, haha. I applied for the fanclub lottery and missed. After hearing about how ruthless ticketing for Korean concerts is, I pretty much accepted that I wouldn't be able get a ticket during the fanclub pre-sale but I still had to try. I read up on tips and tricks, practiced buying tickets to other events on Global Interpark, and even enlisted my husband to try and help me when the sale started at 1 AM our time. After multiple errors loading the site, we got into the queue with 100,000 people in front of us :,) Needless to say, there was nothing left once we finally got in. I spent a few days after that checking religiously for cancelled tickets, but when Pledis announced that Seungkwan was going to sit out, I decided that it just wasn't meant to be. I ended up watching Seoul Day 2 online and it was such a bittersweet experience because the concert was so amazing, and I wondered when my chance to see them in person would come.

Jumping through hoops to try for Japan concert tickets as a foreigner

After my complete failure in getting Korea concert tickets, I turned to Japan as my last hope to see the boys this year. I didn't know the specifics but I was aware that it's difficult, and sometimes impossible, for foreigners to get tickets to concerts in Japan. To curb scalping, tickets for many popular events are sold through a lottery system, where you apply for the dates/seat type you want, and everything is up to chance whether you get it or not. Popular artists will often have one or two lottery rounds reserved just for their fanclub, so being a member increases your chances. And almost all of this requires a Japanese phone number.

For Seventeen, they usually have a Lawson general lottery open to the general public after the fanclub rounds are over, so I considered using a proxy to try for that. I reached out to a reputable one, but he put me on a maybe list because he had already received an overwhelming amount of requests for the FOLLOW tour. ^^;

Then, the hero we didn't deserve appeared. An international Carat living in Japan posted a very detailed guide on Reddit (now deleted, RIP) on how to join Seventeen's Japan fanclub and the process of applying for tickets through the fanclub lotteries. I don't have a Japanese phone number and address, which is needed for the fanclub, so I didn't think too much of it until I saw other users commenting about borrowing said information from friends who live there. Fortunately, I have a friend in Japan who had previously helped me get a ticket to the Seventeen museum pop-up, and he graciously let me use his phone number and address to apply for the fanclub. I successfully signed up and paid my 6,000 yen fee.

The first round of the fanclub lottery for Saitama / Aichi / Osaka / Fukuoka was open for a little over a week from mid-August, with the results to be announced in early September. You are allowed to apply up to two times for each date, once for premium seats and once for regular reserved seats, but you can only win one type of seat per date. Premium seats are strictly for fanclub members and cost more because they are closer to the stage and come with extra benefits. After some hiccups and a lot of trial and error (needing a VPN, using a Japanese keyboard, Google translate messing with the page functionality), I submitted my lottery entries. I was open to attending five dates, so I applied for both seat types for each day, so 10 entries total. I just needed one to win!

Luck was on my side - success!!!

The day of the lottery result announcements, I was neck deep in work and also recovering from COVID, HAH. I was feeling miserable and trying not to get my hopes up so I wouldn't be too disappointed if I didn't win.

The results came out at 4 PM my time. The Reddit user who made the guide had said that typically, the losing emails come first all at once, and the winning emails will come a few minutes later. That is NOT how it went this time. xD I think there were so many entries and emails to send, the server was overloaded, so the emails just came trickling in, one or sometimes two at a time. I tried checking the results on my Lawson My Page but that was overloaded too, so I kept getting an error. All I could do was wait.

45 minutes and five rejections later, I was steeling myself for 0/10. Then, the sixth email came and I could tell right away that it looked different. I google translated and couldn't believe it - I won a premium seat ticket to Nagoya!!! I screamed and immediately told my husband, my mom, my sister, and my closest friends LOL. Four more rejection emails eventually came but it didn't matter, all I needed was one win and I got it! For this round of lottery, payment had to be made at a Lawson convenience store, so I had my friend go and pay for me. The actual ticket will be available for me to pick up at a Lawson closer to the concert date.

Overall, even with all the difficulties I had, I actually really like the Japanese ticketing system. Of course there are loopholes, but it's definitely a fairer way of making sure that fans can get tickets at a reasonable price. And I'd much rather lose out on tickets based on a random draw than actually trying to buy tickets and failing to get any because I wasn't fast enough. The ticket prices in Japan are also fixed and much, much cheaper than in America. Regular reserved seats for Seventeen were 14,000 yen. The catch is that for that same price, you could get a pretty close seat or a really far seat (and seat assignments are also random), but it is what it is. My premium seat cost 24,000 yen, which, with the very favorable exchange rate converted to $170. Honestly, even at a 1/1 rate, it's still cheaper than a much less desirable seat in America.

Can't wait to FOLLOW Seventeen to Japan!

I'm sooooo thrilled for my first chance to attend a Seventeen concert!! I'm a little nervous because it will be my first time attending a concert at such a huge venue, by myself, internationally, but of course my excitement completely outweighs that. The first thing I did after confirming my win was order the version 3 caratbong (I hate it but I caved because I don't want to be the only Carat in the premium section without a syncing lightstick) and a Hoshi picket (cuz all the Japanese fans have them). My trip is all booked, and December can't come sooner!

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

OnlyOneOf appreciation + concert experience

My love for OnlyOneOf is new but immense! I only discovered them recently but fell into them so fast and so hard that I decided to travel out of state to attend the last stop of their Grand America Tour!

A little over a month ago, my YouTube recommendations included a music video for "because" by Rie. As a BL enthusiast, I clicked because I saw two guys kissing in the thumbnail LOL, but I was pleasantly surprised by how good both the song and the video were. When I looked into it more, I found out that Rie is a member of OnlyOneOf, and that he was playing a couple in the MV with fellow member Junji! I also learned that "because" is the fourth in a series of six solo songs released by the group as part of their undergrOund idOl project, which explores themes of love and acceptance in support of the pride movement. The songs are all fantastic, each a different style to reflect their individuality, and the MVs, which feature the members paired off as couples, are beautifully shot and feel very intimate without fetishizing. I was so impressed with their music and the messages they were sending that I felt the need to look into them further.

In the comments on their solo videos, the song I saw mentioned most was libidO. I checked out the MV, then the "Guilty Pleasure" choreography video, and then a bunch of live performances. I was shooketh, it was soooooo sensual. I read that it received a lot of hate in Korea for being "controversial", but the boys stood by it and explained that the song is about a young man experiencing first love and exploring his sexuality, eventually deciding to leave it to instinct and primal desire aka libido. The MV and choreography express this concept perfectly, and honestly, it's so tastefully done in a way that is sexy, but not egregiously so, that I see no room for complaints.

I was hooked enough to do a deep dive into the rest of their discography where I found countless other songs, both title tracks and b-sides, that I loved. I'm not sure how to describe their sound in technical terms, but it's different and more experimental than most K-pop out there. They have a lot of songs that are mid-tempo, smooth, and sexy, and the way they process their vocals gives them this kind of ethereal, breathy effect. They have a very distinct sound and regardless of whether the song is an upbeat banger like seOul drift, a mid-tempo bop like gaslighting, or a slower, sentimental track like OnlyOneOf yOu, you can tell it's them. It's pretty niche, which unfortunately means less general public appeal and popularity, but I appreciate that they stay true to it and hope that one day it catches on. Either way, I was sold.

Of course, just because I like a group's music doesn't mean I go all out and commit myself as a fan. But I felt compelled to check out OOO's other content because I was curious about the group dynamics, seeing as how they seemed very comfortable acting as couples for their solo songs, libidO, and skinz. I'm sure this is true with most groups, but they are completely endearing crackheads! They are fun and silly, have great chemistry with each other (they are basically shipping themselves), and they show off their crazy abs on camera a LOT lol. I got sucked into them real quick.

One week later, I was pretty much a newborn lyOn club, and I was aware that they were touring in the US at that time. I still have huge regrets of not being able to see Seventeen in concert last year because I also found them while they were in the middle of their US tour, so I didn't want to experience the same thing with OOO and decided to check whether there were still tickets for any shows available. I live in Hawaii so it's not like I can just hop around the continent to see them, and I was in the middle of my busy season at work, so I had a lot of limiting factors. However, I saw that there were still general admission tickets for their show in LA, which was after my big work deadline. After finding a pretty good deal on airfare, I bit the bullet and bought concert tickets for me and my husband (bless him). YOLO, am I right??

In the few weeks before the the concert, I got more and more hyped and as I continued to fall even deeper into the lyOn den, I started to get a little greedy. I really wanted snapshot tickets for my two biases Nine and Yoojung. I was scouring Reddit and twitter in search of anyone selling, to no avail. But it's okay because two days before the concert, I was able to snag a VIP ticket from a kind Reddit user who was selling theirs because they could no longer attend the show. So even though I couldn't have individual polaroids with my favorites, I would be able to do a hi-touch with all of the members, plus a group photo! Ahhh!

04-30-2023 - GRAND AMERICA TOUR LOS ANGELES

The LA show was held at the Avalon Hollywood, a nightclub which doubles as a concert venue. We arrived at the venue and started lining up for VIP at around 4:15. Once they started letting VIP into the venue, my husband (again, bless this extremely supportive man) went to go stand in the general admission line while I went on ahead. I'm pretty shy and everyone around me was with another friend, so I didn't really talk to anyone while waiting. But once we got let into the room where the hi-touch and group photo were happening, the girls in front of me started freaking out so naturally I freaked out with them hehe. It was comforting because it was the first time doing hi-touch for all of us.

The hi-touch/group photo happened so fast, I wish I had a little more time to soak it in. I high-fived each member and definitely looked at them while I was doing it, but the only one who I can clearly remember now is Yoojung. The man is so beautiful that he dazzled me into remembering only his face, even over my number one bias Nine! xD For the group photo, I stood behind Junji and Yoojung and was probably cheesing so hard, I hope I come out looking okay in the photo lol. And that was it! But even in such a short time, I could sense the members' kindness and sincerity. They are seated for the group photo, but they stand up for the hi-touch and thank each fan as they go by. And then after the photo is taken and we're exiting, they stand up again and turn around to greet us on our way out. I was starstruck. Ugh, next time maybe I'll splurge for VVIP so I can get a few more seconds with each member~

The venue was standing only, so VIP got to enter after VVIP was all settled in. I'm a shortie, and I had done my research prior so there was a second-floor balcony that I was aiming for. Luckily, it was still open when I got in so I made a dash for it and secured a spot against the balcony railing, with an unobstructed view of the stage below. It was perfect for me and since the venue is small, I still felt so close. My husband joined me once general admission was let in and to his joy, there were couches behind us that he could rest on lol.

The concert itself was absolutely amazing! The boys, who I'm sure were exhausted as this was the last of an 18-stop tour over the course of one month, brought 110% of their energy to every performance. Before seeing them live, I was thinking that maybe some of their choreography just looks cool because of good camerawork, but I was wrong, they really are that cool. Moments I can't believe I saw in real life:

The entirety of skinz, especially Yoojung and Mill's body rolls, and the KB/Yoojung moment in the second verse

The chest popping in gaslighting

THAT part by Yoojung in the final chorus of chrOme hearts

Crazy chemistry between Junji and Rie during be mine

Iconic libidO crotch grabbing by Nine

KB destroying his shirt during a sOng Of ice&fire

Rie saying "OMG pleeeease everyone, jump!!!" for angel, and everyone really jumping!

I had also seen someone on Reddit who was disappointed after attending OOO's first show because they felt they weren't singing live (I'm thinking it was a sound mixing issue rather than the members actually not singing), but for this concert I could definitely hear them over the backtrack and they were so good! During one of the breaks, they took requests to sing parts of songs that they wouldn't be performing, and this was another testament to how well they can sing. I was screaming because I got to hear a bit of byredO live.

Just as they gave their full energy for their songs, they did the same for their ments in between. They are so personable, sweet, and funny, and full of fan service! They also tried their best to speak in English when they could, which was extra endearing. And I may be delulu but they definitely waved in my general direction of the balcony a few times, so I excitedly waved back! At the end when they took the group photo with the audience, they accepted pride flags from fans and set it in front of them or draped it over their shoulders. Stan these supportive, inclusive kings. *Flag not pictured below because Studio Pav doesn't have Pride :\

The very last song was OnlyOneOf yOu and it was magical hearing them sing this beautiful number while the crowd held up their phone flashlights and swayed them to the beat. When they finally left the stage, I was overwhelmed with happiness, wishing the concert could go on for like three hours more, and a certfied lyOn. I'm totally rooting for OOO's success and hope they come back to America again someday soon!

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Thoughts on the final Given chapter

I got my copy of Cheri+ so these are just some thoughts after using my basic Japanese and piecing together the panels with Keru's wonderful twitter translation.

-- SPOILERS AHEAD --

I was hoping for a cover illustration of Mafuyu AND Ue together but I'm okay with solo Mafuyu too. This was ultimately the story of his grief, discovery, and growth, so to see him smiling at the end of it all is so beautiful. He's surrounded by cherry blossoms, which symbolize change and a new season, and is set against the ocean, which holds special meaning in both of his relationships. I cry.

The fold out poster (pictured above) is so cool!! I really want to cut it out of the magazine and display it somewhere but I'm afraid I'll mess it up...

Given debuted, rejoice!

It's really nice that Kasai wasn't just cast aside as "that jealous girl" competing with Mafuyu for Ue (although she never stood a chance lol) and grew to become kind of a confidant and supporter for him. They may not fully understand each other, but they share a mutual respect and provide little bits of unexpected encouragement for each other and it's so wholesome.

Hiiragi being a menace but also sparkly, usual stuff. It's so funny because Hiiragi and Ue don't get along on the surface (two ore-sama types am I right), but they totally jive as artists, which is why Ue will continue playing support - and "ONLY SUPPORT" says a very bitter Mafuyu - for SYH.

I'm surprised at how little Haruki and Akihiko showed up in the chapter, but we did get crumbs that Haruki is apartment hunting~ They are so stable, just get married already.

When Keru initially tweeted that a significant portion of the chapter covers something she was hoping would happen but wasn't sure if it would, my mind immediately went to the gutter and assumed it was RitsuMafu sex lolol. It wasn't just me, right???

Anyways, they went to the BEACH. Mafuyu has gone to the beach with Yuki, but they went during the biting cold of winter and weren't "officially dating" so they didn't really do date-y stuff. His experience with Ue was totally different. There's several pages of them just eating and having fun, and they look like they can't get enough of each other.

Ugetsu calling Mafuyu out of the blue to thank him for the CD was really sweet. When I initially watched and read the series up to the end of the AkiHaru arc, I wasn't too big on Ugetsu and I actually thought that he was romantically interested in Mafuyu and would stir things up or cause trouble. Clearly I was wrong, and I'm glad. Their friendship is so valuable for both of them as two musical geniuses who are a bit socially awkward, and they've taken turns being there for the other when they needed a push, whether it was to say goodbye to an unhealthy relationship or to take a step towards love and music.

Ugetsu's wish to Mafuyu back when Yoru ga Akeru was in the works - about hoping that despite everything that's happened between him and Akihiko, if at least the music could remain - ends up being the driving point of this chapter and the end of the series. Mafuyu tells Ugetsu that he believes that Ugetsu remains in music, and so does Yuki, even if he can never see him again. When Ue comes back and kisses Mafuyu before offering him a drink, Mafuyu muses that someday, he'll probably forget this moment too, and that's why he wants to keep making music. It ties back to his last time at the beach with Yuki, because Yuki insisted that Mafuyu would eventually forget that day, but now with Fuyu no Hanashi and Umi e, these moments are able to live on.

The kiss had me squealing! It's nothing big or grand, but Ue is kneeling and he looks up at Mafuyu for a moment before going in for the kiss. This is such huge growth for Ue~ Their first kiss was a result of his overwhelming emotions after the live, and he didn't even remember it later! When they shared the classroom kiss after their fight, Ue wanted to take initiative but got shy and so it was ultimately Mafuyu who made the move. Now Ue has kissed Mafuyu on his own, in public!!! and with full intent and absolute love and affection. When he pulls away, the look in his eyes is like Mafuyu is the most amazing being in the world and he can't believe he's his. Ughhhhhh.

There is a full blank page of just text that says, "If only everything could stay like this forever." This is what Mafuyu is thinking as they ride the train back from the beach. I found it a weird thought to highlight because obviously, things WILL and SHOULD change.

As they get up to leave the train, Mafuyu (blushing slightly) calls out to Ue and says, "When we get back, should we do it?" to which Ue responds with "EHHHHHHHH?!" A little unexpected as the final panel of the final chapter but it's a nice callback to when Yuki asked Mafuyu the same question. MAH BOY UE IS FINALLY GRADUATING! I knew Mafuyu was going to have to take the lead, hehe.

MINOR GRIPES AND FINAL THOUGHTS

I've had two months to deal with the series ending and I had already tempered my expectations knowing the ending was going to be rushed, so honestly as long as Kizu-sensei didn't like, spontaneously kill off a character or break up a couple, I was pretty okay with anything the chapter was going to give us. I do still have some some gripes and things I just wish had been explored more.

My biggest complaint is in regards to the treatment of Ue as an individual and his relationship with Mafuyu. If we recall, Given actually starts off from Ue's point of view. He had been in a musical slump until Mafuyu came along and rocked his world. He had to come to terms with his unfamiliar feelings, and then he also had to deal with the fact that he knows almost nothing about the boy he likes. Even after they started dating, Mafuyu really didn't share anything about Yuki with him, so whatever he knew was very vague and second-hand knowledge. THEN in addition to that, he's tasked with finishing the demo of a piece that Yuki had obviously intended as a love song for Mafuyu. And ironically, he works on this song at the expense of his relationship with Mafuyu. He had brief moments of vulnerability, once when Aki called him out for his feelings toward Mafuyu (this is one of my favorite scenes in the anime), and again when Mafuyu rejected his invitation to SYH's debut concert. But then we never really see him working through these complicated feelings. My boy's been through so much and he is strong, but I wanted to see more growth and development from him. After all, he's just a teenage boy who fell in love for the first time and is trying to balance that with music, school, a part-time job, etc.

As for Ue and Mafuyu as a couple, they are my endgame, my OTP, so while I enjoy the arcs that focus on AkiHaru and ShizuRagi, I was never as invested in them. I was okay reading 20+ chapters of them because I always assumed that the series would circle back around to have a final arc focused on Ue and Mafuyu. I also found the resolution to their problems in the hiiragi_mix arc to be very rushed. They had MAJOR communication issues, which is completely understandable for two young guys. Ue was trying so hard to finish the song as a gift for Mafuyu, but Mafuyu pulled away because he saw a repeat of what happened with Yuki coming again and got scared. The root of the issue is that they've never talked about Mafuyu's relationship with Yuki and Yuki's death.

At SYH's debut live, Mafuyu hears Umi e, instantly recognizes that the song came from Yuki, and then is so moved and inspired that he basically proposes to Ue that he wants to make music with him for the rest of his life. And then the final chapter just cuts forward after this declaration to Given debuting. This resolution is too fast and unrealistic. I would have preferred at LEAST one whole long chapter dedicated to Ue and Mafuyu after the live debriefing and talking. In an even more ideal world, they would have also done it after the talking. I never expected anything explicit but I would have at least liked to see the lead up, because it would have been the truest form of intimacy they could share, and Ue coming to terms with his sexuality and what exactly he wanted to "do to Mafuyu" was such a big part of the series early on.

Regardless, Kizu-sensei wrapped everything up nicely, brought back every character for at least a cameo, and ended things on a happy, meaningful note. I've seen that many people are unsatisfied with it but I mean, I watched Game of Thrones, so I know a bad ending and this was just fine. Although I didn't get everything on my Given wish list, I am glad that I got to see the end. I prefer that over it getting cancelled at some point for whatever reason and being left unfinished. And we still have more to look forward to! I'll be hoping for some extra manga content with the volume 9 release and waiting to hear Umi e in the anime.

Just like Mafuyu says, Given and the music will remain with us. It touched my heart and will always have a special place there. Thank you for everything, Given!

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Last night I had a dream about a dear friend who passed away over two years ago. She just appeared like it was no big deal, so I asked her what she was doing here, she explained something in dream logic that I accepted, and then I gave her a big hug. I think for the rest of the dream we just talked like old times. I almost forgot it when I woke up but once I grasped it again, it was kind of like a reality slap to the face. It's just a reminder that grief subsides but it never stops.

I miss you, always.

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Just two besties wearing matching shirts 🖤

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Today is the day.

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Not me reveling in these two gorgeous artworks and celebrating the new movie announcement while also in denial about the last chapter dropping in a week :,)

But seriously, MAFUYUUUUUUUU!! He’s so pretty and happy in the cover art I’m going to cry.

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Happiness doesn't come from grades, it comes from BooSeokSoon!

Appreciation post for BSS and their amazing comeback after five years ♡

I haven't been a fan of Seventeen for too long, but I love Just Do It and Hoshi and DK are my number one and two biases, so I was as hyped as everyone else for BSS' comeback in February! This is just a post for me to gush about how much I loved everything about it.

LEAD-UP PROMOTIONS

Pledis pulled a sneaky way of announcing the comeback by posting a hidden tweet with their signature "Ladies and gentlemen, they call us BSS" but the fans found it and Caratland freaked out! After that, everything that was teased prior to the album's release just continued to build on the hype. From the teaser images, we could see that there was a sports concept that coupled well with the album name Second WInd, and also that they would probably be faithful to the silly charm that we love about BSS rather than go for a more mature concept.

The whole rolllout was incredibly well-thought-out and cohesive. The highlight melody in particular was genius. Modeled after a fitness or training app, the members take turns acting as your voice coach, and they each introduce a song that coincides with a time of day - morning, afternoon, and evening. Basically, they want our entire day filled with BSS and I'm not complaining. I was super excited to hear a bit of the featured artists as well!

GOING BSS

We got two special episodes for BSS, rejoice! These episodes were filmed in the mockumentary style following the members as they prepare for the comeback, and they are honestly some of my favorite in all of Going Seventeen. Everything was just so funny and unhinged - the dialogue, the presentations, the side interviews, the camera work, even the comedic cuts and timing worked into the editing. And BSS are the perfect members to take on the mockumentary format because they have absolutely no shame and will do anything for the sake of humor. Almost as funny as seeing the members commit so hard to acting out their ridiculous ideas is seeing them break character. I don't know how they filmed any of this with a half-straight face, staff included. The cameo appearances were great! Woozi deserves a raise for doing his part semi-seriously in a space helmet, and my favorite was Dino giving 1000% as the flamboyant Mr. Cha lol.

ALBUM + MUSIC VIDEO

The music video for Fighting dropped at 11 PM on a Sunday night for me but I was up and waiting from the live countdown. I loved the song and video immediately on the first watch. Fighting is incredibly catchy and energetic, and the song structure is really interesting, particularly the rap bridge that leads into a musical-esque second bridge. BSS were serving as vocal kings all around with harmonies, ad libs, and high notes - even Hoshi! And Lee Youngji absolutely SLAYED her rap. When I took the time to read the lyrics I found them very relatable, motivating, and quintessentially BSS. In a nutshell, life just sucks sometimes but you still gotta keep fighting! And BSS will be there rooting for you (literally, they say "we're your BSS" who is "here to sing this song for you").

The music video was a perfect fit for the song. It was full of colorful outfits and sets, energetic backup dancers and extras, a bit of humor and a super fun choreography. BSS looked incredible and I could feel their energy and how much fun they were having through the screen. I watched the video a good three times straight after it dropped before going on to listen to the rest of the album.

And the other two tracks didn't disappoint either! LUNCH, which is meant to be a late afternoon pick-me-up, is pretty quirky and while not my taste initially, it definitely grew on me. It's really cute how the members are "cooking" up a song to deliver to you, wherever you may be in the universe (or multiverse). 7PM was the song I was looking forward to the most after hearing it in the highlight melody and it was just what I was hoping for. It's a warm hug at the end of a long day. The members’ voices are beautiful and soothing, and the lyrics are simple but sentimental. Peder Elias features and actually sings the whole second half of the song. I was a little conflicted because I would have preferred a shorter feature or at least finishing out the last chorus with BSS, but he has a wonderful voice that fit perfectly with the vibe. And it’s nice to have a part that's easy for me to sing since it's in English haha.

PROMOTIONS PERIOD

The promotions period was no doubt short but sweet. It was only one week but BSS' three music show performances absolutely delivered. They performed with live vocals, unveiled the entire choreography for Fighting, and even brought their two featuring artists with them! Youngji and Peder are such gems, Youngji moved her schedule around to promote with BSS and Peder flew all the way from Norway. Fighting was so much fun to watch each time because of the choreo (super interesting, detailed, creative, and on-brand) and also because of the ad libs that BSS changes up each time. My favorite was Hoshi's shoutout to Coups, Wonwoo and Mingyu for coming to see their Music Bank performance, so wholesome. We also got our ears blessed with two performances of 7PM in a cute outdoor food/drink stand setting. The harmonies in the chorus were so wonderful, and it was cute how they got Peder more involved by having a short dialogue with him at the end of the song.

But my favorite performance of all might actually be their appearance on It's Live. BSS performed with a live band and I truly wish this version could be on Spotify, I love it that much. The video starts off with the members marching in to Fighting (of course). They do a short-ish intro with an overly enthusiastic Hoshi and DK and Seungkwan lamenting about how they get off track when they don't follow the script. Even the band members could help but crack up in the back! Once the performance starts they get totally in the zone and even without dancing, it was so much fun to watch. They killed the vocals, slipped in a bunch of fun ad libs (one by DK had Seungkwan on the floor), and even ran around the whole room to get everyone else to cheer along for the last chorus. It was both extremely chaotic and professional, two things BSS does best.

Oh and as an extra bonus, during the performance period we also got to see BSS doing dance challenges with everyone under the sun and I was living for it!

THE ICONIC CCMA PERFORMANCE

Just after promotions ended, we got to see BSS perform as the ending act at the Circle Chart Music Awards! The boys brought BIG ENERGY. They put on another fantastic performance of Fighting, but what really stole the show was when they brought out Just Do It again. BSS incorporated a little skit with their hair/makeup people at the beginning of the song and sang the first verse up on a raised platform in front of a podium. They sang and danced so well but added an extra silliness to their ad libs and movements that made this five year old song still feel so fresh and fun. During the chanting part of the bridge, BSS ran into the artist audience area and got everyone to join them, then pulled the viral "Next Level" reference in front of aespa before running back on stage to finish up the song. I loved how DK yelled at everyone to congratulate him because it was his birthday lol. The song ended... and then BSS pulled a Seventeen and gave it the never-ending encore treatment!! Iconic, legendary, game-changing. It's crazy how just three members of Seventeen could fill up the entire space with their presence and get everyone in the audience, both fans and artists alike, hyped up with them. Their professionalism and energy continues to amaze me over and over.

EXTRA GOODIES

Finally, we got spoiled with so much extra content to go along with the comeback. Seungkwan guested on Lee Mujin's show (and just recently Jo Hyunah's as well). DK did a video with Dingo where he surprised a fan in order to cheer her up since she had been having a hard time. Hoshi fought his inner introvert and appeared on Suga's drinking show. The list goes on. We even got special performance videos of Fighting and 7PM, plus all the behind-the-scenes.

To wrap this up, I'm just so proud of BSS for everything they've done in this short period of time. It feels like they did it all just for fun and everyone's enjoyment, but the results have spoken for themselves and I'm hoping we'll get to see another comeback sooner than five years.

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Just Ham Ham Hoshi because he needs to be immortalized. Unfortunately for him, The Adventures of Hamtaro suited him perfectly. xD

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

My favorite Going Seventeen episodes

In honor of the return of GoSe, my favorite past episodes!

2019 ep 5 Caratland Behind - Solely for DK and Jeonghan's recording of BRING IT. Jeonghan's lil "tu~rn left" was so cute but I was totally blown away by DK's angry rap. So much 'tude, possibly fiercer than the original. :0

2019 ep 17-18 Karaoke Escape Room - The moment Hoshi is dramatically drawing out the last lyrics to some random old song that they don't know and the 100 points shows up on screen and everyone absolutely loses their shit. Also, the members being relatable AF because they can't do math.

2020 ep 5-6 Past Life Destiny - Where do I even start? DK full on grinding the floor and getting up close and personal with the camera during his intro dance. JiHan's chaotic reenactment of a scene from "I'm Sorry I Love You" where Shua throws himself out of the car (not scripted). All the SeokSoon drama. As a bonus, Seungkwan sang DBSK's Hug while DK was choosing his partner and I squealed!

2020 ep 9 Insomnia Zero - Birth of Wonwoo's iconic ~tasty~ and when I learned that Woozi has no chill.

2020 ep 21-22 Kartrider - "Booster! Booster! Booster! YAH! BOOSTER!" - Hoshi failing to get a booster, 2020

2020 ep 23-24 Seventeen's Got Talent - Seventeen is so good at adlib humor, they just take the concept and go hard. Too many amazing characters! My favorites were diva judge Boo, sloth rapper Hoshi, musical actor Jun, angry ballad singer DK, robot Shua, and of course "Jun" aka mischievous Minghao.

2020 ep 25-26 The8 and the Shadows - Minghao wanted to be the leader for a day and the GoSe team gave him what he wanted... kinda lol. Favorite moments include the impromptu "We Will Rock You", DK's sogo dance, Jeonghan casually throwing water at Shua, and Shua getting everyone to imitate the voodoo doll he threw on the floor multiple times.

2020 ep 33 Mousebusters - Not so much for the actual Mousebusters part but the orange and grape games they did after. Seventeen takes games EXTREMELY SERIOUSLY.

2020 ep 40-41 Don't Lie II - Hoshi absolutely slayed this season of Don't Lie and he knows it. There's something so satisfying about seeing his chaotic thought process pan out to actually be correct.

2020 ep 44-45 TTT - I enjoy all of the TTTs but the focus on "hyperrealism" made this one even better because it seemed like the members were simultaneously more and less aware of the cameras and making content for the show. It had all of our favorite SVT pastimes - eating and drinking, badly played sports, games they've played a thousand times, and overly-enthusiastic karaoke.

2020 ep 46 Going Magazine - Minghao styled Hoshi sooooo well for the shoot, holy crap. Praise the denim crop top. And Mingyu was carrying this whole project so hard, this is when I first started to appreciate how hardworking and talented he is in other artistic ventures outside of just performing.

2021 ep 11 Ad Genius - Honestly too many meme-worthy moments to count, but my top are: Shua putting Shin Ramen in his hair, Jeonghan putting gochujang on his eyebrows, and Coups proposing to Dino with all kinds of products while Hoshi sings 2AM's "This Song" in the background.

2021 ep 24 Tribal Games - The Whispering in Silence game is probably my most rewatched Seventeen clip ever. Hoshi "epik"-ly screwing everything up makes me laugh every time.

2022 ep 37 How to Eat Rice - We must pay our respects to two members who threw away their idol image for this episode: 1) DK, the hungry rice monster, and 2) Shua, who poured a bucket of ice water over himself to prove that ramen tastes the best when you're cold. Double respects to Shua because he didn't even win after all of that lol.

2022 ep 50 GOING Radio Show - Dino going "look at my fit!" while Vernon is fighting for his life keeping his laughter in is one of the first clips I ever saw of Seventeen and it's still hilarious. The whole corner with Jeonghan and Dino learning English from Shua and Vernon was peak comedy.

Anyway, the two episodes that have been released so far have been really enjoyable! Lots of pun humor, member banter, and a surprise twist! I'm looking forward to Wednesdays now~

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Watching Seventeen Project for the first time eight years later

As a new Carat, I've been consuming Seventeen content at a rapid pace over the past few months. I had reached a point where I wasn't sure what to watch next when a kind Reddit user made a post about watching Seventeen Project for the first time and recommended it to all newer fans. I tend to avoid their older content (I won't lie, mostly because they look so fine now that it's hard to see them with cringe mid-2010s hair and styling) but I put my prejudices aside because I wanted to learn more about their pre-debut period and what they went through to become the absolute powerhouse that they are today.

For any newbies like me, Seventeen Project is a seven-episode series that follows the boys in the lead-up to their debut and gives them challenges that they need to complete in order to earn a one-hour live debut stage. The challenges are all performances that take place in front of a variety of audiences and judges, and they are done either as OT13, in their units, or in mixed groups.

As I anticipated, the hairstyles ranged from tolerable to terrible. Except for Jeonghan with his gorgeous long hair. Mans was so beautiful even pre-debut that he had the editors adding sparkles and angelic effects every time he shows up on screen. He also has this smoky eye look going on that I hate on everyone else but it just WORKS for him. Anyway, asides from the hair and baby faces (particularly Vernon and Dino) the boys look almost exactly the same!!

I know that it's a reality show and therefore highly dramatized but I still wasn't expecting to get so emotional while watching it. It's eight years after the fact and they've clearly debuted and become extremely successful, but it was still such a rollercoaster ride and I had to keep reminding myself that they are FINE. I was so mad at the Pledis CEO for coming in at the end of the first episode, giving them harsh criticism and then taking away their precious rings. Seeing various members disappointed and down on themselves when they couldn't perform up to par in the challenges was heartbreaking. The campfire candlelight ceremony where Coups shared his concerns about Woozi's combativeness and Woozi opened up about the burden he feels as their composer and producer really brought to light their struggles as leaders. And finally, when Seventeen had completed all of the challenges, earned their debut, and got their rings back from their parents, I cried happy tears. Overall, it was a valuable watching experience where I learned a lot about their beginnings, and it gave me a starting point to compare to their current level so I can really see just how far they've come.

Things that really stood out to me:

China line's Korean in progress

Jun and Minghao are still on the quieter side of the group, but watching Seventeen Project made me aware of how comfortable they've become with Korean. Back then, they were quiet simply because they had no choice. They were learning the language and struggling just to understand what was going on, let alone conveying their thoughts. Now, they speak freely and easily and even make really great jokes and insults in Korean! One thing that hasn't changed is how the other members are always looking out for them and making sure they have a chance to speak up.

Pre-debut songs that ended up as B-sides

The fourth challenge mixed up the members into four teams to see which one could win the hearts of an audience made up mostly of pre-debut fans. The songs performed by the teams were none other than NO F.U.N, OMG, Hello, and Drift Away (all but Hello are composed by Woozi, more on him later). These songs were released on later albums, so I had no idea that they were made pre-debut. It just continues to impress me how involved they were in production of their music and performances at such an early stage in their career. I particularly enjoyed the winners Jeonghan, Hoshi, and Wonwoo's performance of NO F.U.N, which they slayed with a Kingsman concept complete with suits and umbrellas. And they actually kept with it when they performed the song later on at concerts, just swapping out the umbrellas for canes.

*Not really related but while talking about this challenge, I had to laugh because now I know that Mingyu was a natural flirt from day one. He turned Hello into his own personal fan meeting and probably converted a Jeonghan fangirl haha.

Woozi is a genius producer

At the time of Seventeen Project, Bumzu said that Woozi had been composing and producing songs for about a year (he was only 19!), and mused that he showed real promise but only time would tell if he could become a genius producer. Later, Woozi talked about the burden of his position and how he felt responsible for the future of all 13 members, because their trajectory would be determined by the songs that he makes. Eight years later, Woozi has produced countless hit songs for Seventeen, its members' solo endeavors, and other artists, and he won the AAA Best Producer Award for 2021. My Carat heart is so proud that's he's surpassed Bumzu's expectations, and happy that Woozi clearly still loves making music and continues to do so out of passion rather than responsibility.

Vocal unit's rendition of "Because of You"

For the second challenge, the units competed against each other in front of a large crowd at a park. For their performance, the vocal unit rearranged After School's song Because of You into an acoustic version and sang it accompanied by Joshua's guitar. They placed second in the audience vote but got ripped by the judges for not standing out and ultimately ended up in last place. I had to disagree with the judges' assessment because I really loved their performance. It was soothing and sentimental, and I thought every member sounded wonderful. Even the clips of them practicing and harmonizing together sent me to heaven.

DK's vocals and confidence

My thoughts on the vocal unit's performance lead me to the absolutely heartbreaking moment in the same episode when DK starts crying during his post-evaluation interview. Although the vocal unit as a whole failed to impress the judges, Seungkwan received a lot of praise while DK wasn't spoken about at all. DK was asked how he felt about this since the two of them are the main vocals, and while expressing his disappointment in himself he just broke down in silent tears. DK is my second bias and my favorite singer in the group, so this made me incredibly sad. I know DK has always struggled with his confidence and perfectionism, so it really gets to him when he makes a mistake or can't utilize his voice the way he wants to. Looking at him now, the difference is astounding. He can sing with amazing fullness, belt out high notes, flawlessly switch between falsetto, head voice and chest voice (looking at you, Kidult), and pull off crazy adlibs. And he does so with such joy (or whatever mood matches the song) and command. He's the undeniable main vocal along with Boo and I'm so happy he's getting the recognition he deserves.

Hoshi's choreography and stage presence

Of course I have to talk about my number one bias, Hoshi. It's one thing to be a great dancer, but as the main dancer and leader of the performance unit, Hoshi was in charge of making the choreography for their songs. Thinking of dance moves is already hard enough, but he was also coordinating the movements of 13 people, taking into account transitions and singing positions to make for an effective and entertainment performance. From the beginning you can already tell that Hoshi is very creative and detail-oriented. He gets inspiration for movements from tiny things like grabbing a tissue from the box, creatively utilizes props, and likes to incorporate bits of acting into their performances (and now they have a rep as the theater kids of K-pop). Seventeen is known for their intricate choreographies and synchronized dancing, and Hoshi has definitely had a hand in making that name for them.

On another note, in the first challenge Seventeen performed Shining Diamond for the first time in front of a small audience at a mall. They were all really nervous and the judges pointed that out. But they were especially hard on Hoshi and said that he lacked the stage presence of a main dancer despite being in the center for much of the formations. Hoshi of course was ashamed that he wasn't living up to the positions that were given to him. But just look at him now! On stage he oozes charisma and grabs your attention even if he's not center. It's known that Hoshi's fancams are a must-watch even if he isn't your bias. Hoshi is stage presence encapsulated. Watching BSS' Circle Chart Music Awards performance, it blew my mind that just three members could fill the whole venue with their energy and get the crowd - fans and idols included - hyped up along with them.

The three leaders

Finally, I just wanted to give our three fearless leaders their flowers. Coups, Hoshi, and Woozi were given such huge responsibilities at such a young age. Coups had the double duty of leading the hip hop unit in addition to Seventeen as a whole. Hoshi and Woozi were responsible for their units and the group's songs and dances. Seventeen Project showed just how big the burden was on them, and how they all stepped up and into their roles to help the group succeed. It's no wonder that all three were inconsolable when they got their first music show win with Pretty U. Leaders and Seventeen, you've worked so hard for everything you've achieved and I know you have even higher places to go! I may not have been here from the beginning of your journey but I plan to be here for the rest of it. :)

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Goodbye February and Happy Birthday to Mafuyu! The sweetest cinnamon roll to ever pick up a guitar. He slayed in this artwork.

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Seventeen in the SOOP S2 episode 6 - random thoughts

All good things must come to an end~

Carat trend 2K23: CHEESE TONKATSU WAFFLES

The survival game was chaotic. DK running back through fire to retrieve his lost shoes. Hoshi just trying to shoot in any cool pose. And Mingyu being scared, sticking to Jeonghan and crying out when he got hit, what a big baby haha.

We witnessed a truly rare and amazing sight: Wonwoo cooking. Even if it was just bibimmyeon.

Clingy Jeonghan is so cute!! Case 1: Sticking to Hoshi the whole day, from hiking, to waking him up from his nap so they could eat together, then dragging him into the survival game. Case 2: Telling Wonwoo that he loves him when he goes to bed and demanding that Wonwoo say it back to him (bonus "I love you"s from DK).

Hoshi mafia logic strikes again! After all the mafia games I've seen them play I thought I'd be over it but they still manage to make it entertaining, even with only half the group. Poor Gyu. xD

Dino's Darl+ing karaoke is everything! The dancing! The use of props! The fanservice for his hyungs! The man gives 110% every time. I was amusingly reminded of Mr. Cha from BSS' comeback episode.

I already mentioned Mingyu's cooking before but Joshua in the kitchen is really something. Total boyfriend vibes.

It's unbelievably sweet that Minghao calls Vernon to come eat when he cooks breakfast, since he knows that if someone doesn't cook for Vernon he'll most likely not eat or make some strange concoction of whatever is readily available. And Vernon reciprocates by eating Minghao's cooking so well and complimenting him.

DK told Clumsy Gyu not to drop the glass balls that they got from In the SOOP pleeeeeeese.

Finally, Hoshi strikes again as ending fairy with his MV for BRING IT. It was reminiscent of his Spider MV from the Treasure Hunt GoSe episode. The dancing, the circling drone, the action shots, it was all so extra. He was even using his phone as a gun so convincingly lol.

It was nice seeing the boys relaxing together and separately, and I hope it was the recharge they needed to get through the rest of the year. I hope they get to do In the SOOP for a third time, or as Mingyu suggested, they could do an In the SEA and go somewhere with an ocean. As the enlistments for the oldest members inch closer, these moments with all 13 of them are increasingly precious.

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Posting my recently acquired and decorated caratbong in appreciation for version 2, the prettiest version ♡

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Seventeen in the SOOP S2 episode 5 - random thoughts

I was away for the weekend so I was finally able to watch the episode!

The meal at the tavern was such a vibe! My mouth was watering at the cauldron lid pork belly and kimchi.

But also... so many meal kits! I understand the appeal and convenience but I won't lie, I miss seeing the boys cook things from scratch like how they did last season (or on One Fine Day Castaway xD).

DK yelling for help from the bathroom in smol, so cute lol.

Jeonghan eating a raw onion like it's an apple is wild.

No one: ... Absolutely no one: ... Hoshi: *ropes in the drone and camera crew to shoot an entire music video for BRING IT circa 2017, complete with running, sniping, and an ATV getaway* Boy is so crazy and he loves the spotlight. And he still looooooves BRING IT.

Speaking of, this episode was filled with SoonHoon moments, a lot of times it seems like they're just on a forest vacation by themselves.

So in the preview it was Jeonghan and Dino getting the raw eggs cracked on their heads but the first victim was Coups! Dino was so shocked when he cracked it, I bet he was afraid for his life for a moment haha.

Jeonghan and his BETS I swear to god lol. The way he will make a bet out of literally anything and the things he will do to execute it (running out in the freezing cold to get raw eggs to crack on their heads).

It was so nice to hear the members' stories about Carats and how they feel about these interactions. I wish I could run into Coups while drinking~

I love the breakfast crew! Vernon doesn't strike me as a morning person but of course he'll wake up for a meal that's made for him hehe.

One the way to wake up Hoshi, Jeonghan was singing a sleeping song that sounds just like their "BARcardi" song from TTT!

It's confirmed, DK cannot meditate. He looks like he lasted about 10 seconds before he was sneaking glances at Jeonghan and Hoshi.

Having tea and rice cakes near the temple at Cheongnyangsan has been added to my bucket list. ♡

It seems like next week's episode 6 is the last one? I'm bummed because I was expecting 8 episodes but I guess they did stay one night shorter than last time.

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

Seventeen in the SOOP S2 episodes 3 & 4 - random thoughts

Seungkwan (aka angry dandelion spore) drinking his iced Americano out of a wine glass after having a rough morning in the kitchen is a MOOD.

I'm glad that Minghao reminds us that even though he's transcended to a place of mindfulness and meditation, he's still a normal dude. He was imparting wisdom upon DK about seeking normal, everyday happiness rather than fleeting stimulation, but then when DK suggests they go ATV-ing he happily cuts the tea ceremony short LOL.

I've really been enjoying seeing Seungkwan and Dino's interactions, whether they're betting for their lives on who has to wash the dishes or doing stretches together. They're really like brothers!

Shoutout to Dino and DK for looking particularly fine while working out this week. DK is so ripped now omg.

I already know but am always reminded of how ~domestic~ Mingyu is. I love seeing him cook for the members.

Speaking of, it was so nice to see the members eating their first meal all together! ♡

Hoshi mentioning Haikyuu during their hilarious volleyball-ish game made my little weeb heart so happy! I knew Woozi is a huge anime fan but Hoshi is my bias and Haikyuu is one of my favorite series.

Again, Vernon?? Hiking in jeans??? He really marches to the beat of his own drum. But also the mountain that they went to (Cheongnyangsan Provincial Park 청량산도립공원 for future reference) looks gorgeous in autumn.

Wonwoo greeting his mother at the temple and Coups being there to give him a comforting gesture and tell him good job... *crying* It's beautiful, intimate moments like this that show just how wonderful Seventeen is, as individuals and together.

I wonder who's getting an egg cracked on their head in the sauna next week!

[letsrilakkusu-blog]

An ode to Given

A few days ago the internet collectively freaked out - myself included - when it was announced that the next chapter of Given would be the final chapter, ending its 10-year run. I'm honestly still in shock and while I'm trying to stay optimistic that maybe the big announcement that's coming with the final chapter will involve some kind of sequel, a second season of the anime seems more likely. It's difficult coming to terms with the fact that I may have to say goodbye to a series that I love so much, and with an ending that I most likely will not find satisfying. Regardless, Given has taken up a huge space in my heart for the past two years and I just wanted to write about how I found it, my experience with it, and what it means to me.

I've enjoyed manga and anime ever since I was in middle school, but toward the end of college I got too busy to keep up. Fast forward to years later in 2020, I was stuck at home during the pandemic and decided to dive back in. After rewatching a BL anime that I really liked in high school, Given came up as a suggested series. A quick Google search told me that it was a great romance story between boys in a band, cool.

The first episode starts with Mafuyu's melancholy monologue about the dream he keeps on having and I see right off the bat that I've signed up for a bit more than a cute love story with music. Then the opening song Kizuato hits and I'm totally captivated. It's probably one of my favorite opening sequences and truly captures the feel of the series with its hard-hitting instrumentals, Cenmilli's emotional vocals, and the moody art.

The series pace is on the slower side but there was enough drama and intrigue to keep pulling me in, and it's full of comedic gold. And then... episode 9, A Winter Story. It shook me to my core, everything about it was absolutely amazing. Ue's talk with Mafuyu before the show where he admits that even he doesn't know what he is doing or how to express himself, all he knows is that he loves Mafuyu's sound. The song itself, interspersed with flashbacks of Mafuyu and Yuki's relationship and Mafuyu's monologue (his "I'm lonely" is truly devastating, major props to Yano Shogo). THE KISS. A genuine surprise, so quick and so gentle from inexperienced Ue. I had to watch the episode twice because it left me in complete awe and I needed to experience it again. Then episodes 10-11 were the perfect wind-down with a lot of cute and legendary moments, aka Ue experiencing increasing levels of gay panic. The series became an instant favorite and I rewatched it immediately. I can't find the words to properly express what it did to me but it just made me feel so many things, things I don't think I've felt for a long time. I couldn't shake it.

After that, I was still hungry for more Given so I read the manga, which is a totally different and wonderful experience. The art is beautiful, and the way Kizu-sensei portrays emotions through the characters' facial expressions is unparalleled. Soon after that, the movie came to Crunchyroll, and I've been keeping up with the series in every form since. I read the chapters as they come out bi-monthly. I watched the drama adaptation (not great but not the worst I've seen). I watched the OVA many times (my favorite, all the precious RitsuMafu moments I was missing from the movie). I splurged on a second-hand DVD set of the stage play (really well done). I even watched the anime dub (tolerable), and I hate dubs. Rereading and rewatching the series are routine. Safe to say, it's consumed me for two years and the flame has not died down one bit.

Lots of fans joke about referring to Given as our comfort series when it actually hits on a lot of heavy topics and has eviscerated our emotions on more than one occasion. But it truly is my comfort place. Just as I had finished watching the anime for the first time, I lost a very close friend to illness. This friend was a fellow anime/manga enthusiast and was probably the one who introduced me to the world of BL. Although she didn't watch Given, I like to think that it could have been something we would have enjoyed together if we had the time. And although the circumstances are different, I could relate to Mafuyu prematurely losing an important person in his life. Because the story is equal parts pain and healing, Given kind of provided me with a space where I could dump all of the emotions I was experiencing, whether they were happy or sad. It taught me about loss, grief, and above all, the way music and love can heal the wounds that these things have left behind.

I also have to speak separately about the music of Given, it's just so well done, with so much care and attention to detail. You can tell that Cenmilli worked closely with Kizu-sensei or really dived into the source material when working on the music. Every song created for the series relates very clearly to an event or element of the story. I could write praises upon praises for all of them, but some of my favorites include:

Fuyu no Hanashi, for obvious reasons. Yano Shogo's raw vocals are haunting and the guitar riffs are insanely cool. The way the lyrics change from Mafuyu being stuck and unable to say goodbye in the first chorus, to finally moving forward despite that in the last chorus, show that he's getting the closure he needed.

Kizuato - The lyrics perfectly express the series' tagline "can't say goodbye, I'm still drifting with your echoes." And the pre-chorus is so, so good.

Hetakuso - A simple but insanely sweet song that is definitely Mafuyu's response to Ue's admission that he is bad at expressing himself. I squealed when I saw the lyrics mention "covered by the heat of summer" and "not being afraid of the next winter" in reference to the two of them.

Bokura dake no Shudaika - As I read the lyrics, I can't tell if the song is referencing Akihiko and Ugetsu's relationship or Akihiko and Haruki's (maybe it's both), but I actually like that ambiguity. I also love how it beautifully incorporates the violin as a salute to Aki and Ugetsu.

Uragawa no Sonzai - I know Mafuyu is singing the song but I like to think of it from Ue's perspective. He is aware that there is a side to Mafuyu that he doesn't know, his past, a time when he cried, a person he cried over. But he embraces this "existence on the other side" as a precious part of the person he loves and vows that he will fill up for what the other is lacking, and vice versa. I'm crying.

Now that the series is coming to an end, I don't know what I'll do with myself. If it's truly ending for good, I do have my complaints, but I'll save that for another time. No matter what though, Given is solidified as one of my top anime/manga series of all time, and I'm sure I'll keep revisiting it over the years even after it's finished. It's given me so much - joy (RitsuMafu soft moments are my serotonin), sorrow (Strawberry Swing, anyone?), laughs (too many to count), and some of my favorite music - and for that, I'm incredibly thankful.