#i find it a bit sad that I’m slowly forgetting.. haven’t rewatched the show in a while because of all the Emotion surrounding the ending

[candydos]

sometimes I miss anne boonchuy

[writings-of-a-british-fangirl]

Everything Has Changed [Zuko x Reader]

Title: Everything Has Changed Summary: Even after returning to the Fire Nation, you weren't happy. Zuko on the other hand seemed to be having a lot better time. Maybe, he would be better off without you here, ruining his happiness. Warnings: A little bit of angst? Request: N/A

A/N: This wasn't requested, but I've been rewatching ATLA recently because it's been added onto Netflix and I'm feeling inspired <3

PART 1: EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED PART 2: CHANGE IS GOOD PART 3: CHANGING SPIRITS PART 4: A HEART OF CHANGE

Zuko~Everything Has Changed

You'd been Zuko's best friend for as long as you could remember. And, although the friendship hadn't always been easy -the Prince had quite a famous temper- you couldn't even imagine a world in which you weren't friends. This is why the inner turmoil you were feeling inside was making you feel all the more guilty.

     You had returned back to the Fire Nation when Zuko had reclaimed his honour by fighting the Avatar along with his sister, Azula. Since you didn’t side with the Avatar and the 'traitor' Iroh, you'd been welcomed back with open arms. However, it wasn't quite the life you were expecting. You were still happy for Zuko! Of course- this is what he'd always wanted. In fact, you'd always supported Zuko in his journey to find the Avatar but something about this felt wrong. Especially since Aang had helped Zuko's uncle, Iroh, to find and rescue Zuko from the caves under Ba Sing Sai.

     So, now you were stuck in a very difficult position.

    It had almost been a month since you and Zuko had returned to the Fire Nation, and yet you'd barely spoken a word to each other. Once, you had felt like he was the only soul in the universe that understood you completely… And, now? It felt like you didn’t even know him. He'd been far too busy celebrating the fact he was now recognised as the Crown Prince. You'd also noticed that he'd been spending more time with Mai- along with Azula and Ty Lee.

    That didn’t sit right with you. As long as you live, you promised yourself you would never trust Azula. Where she was involved, it meant trouble. She was the type of person that always had an ulterior motive- even when there didn't seem a need for one.

     And, as for Ty Lee and Mai, you just saw them as Azula's attack dogs. Not that she needed help fighting people, but you couldn't exactly call them her friends. Azula didn't have friends. That required her to care about other people. The only way she knew how to relate to people was through fear. Yet another reason you found to keep as far away from her as possible.

     Zuko seemed to be doing the same to you. Maybe him and Azula were more alike than you thought.

     You had gone down to the Royal Gardens for some peace. As much as the 'Hero's Welcome' was a good ego booster, it wasn't good for the soul. And, right now you were doing some serious soul searching. You'd helped the Fire Nation. You'd fought the Avatar. You should feel good. Right? Except you didn’t, you felt awful. When Aang was shot down, all you could see was a child. A 12 year old kid who hadn't chosen this role in the world. Who was just trying to survive. Who was trying to help the universe.

     Sighing, you put your head in your hands. What had you done? What had Zuko done? You thought of Uncle Iroh… How you had betrayed him. You told yourself that you were doing it to survive, that you couldn’t survive a Fire Nation Prison, but the truth was that you were a coward. A coward who couldn’t do the right thing.

     You hadn’t realised you had started crying until your tears had slipped down your cheeks. Quickly, you wiped them away. Crying was weakness.

     Your attention was caught by a small turtle duck quacking loudly. He appeared to be suck in a weed within the pond, meaning he was separated from his family. You could sense his distress from where you sat. Gently, you moved to the little creature, and slowly removed the weeds from around the turtle duck. Hurriedly, he swam to his mother, who welcomed him immediately. You watched the family of ducks swim happily away. Together. Loved.

     "Why can't I just be like you, little turtle duck?" you murmur to yourself, "You seem so happy. I wish I could feel like that again."

    It was only then you noticed how dark it had gotten. It was best to return to your room before the guards started asking questions- and 'suggesting' you return to safety. Despite being welcome in the palace, it felt more like a prison.

   What you hadn't realised while you had been sat in the gardens, was that you hadn't entirely been alone. Zuko had walked past the entrance to the caught yard and you had caught his eye. At first he saw a glimmer of his mother sitting by the pond. She had always loved animals, especially feeding the turtle ducks. But then his vision cleared and he had seen you. It made his heart sink. He hadn't spoken to you in weeks. He didn't entirely know why…

     Zuko watched you disappear out of the garden and down the corridor… Away from him.

     He hated to admit it but being back in the Fire Nation wasn't bringing him the happiness he thought it would. His honour had technically been restored and yet he was feeling more ashamed than ever.

     Part of him wanted to follow you; the other half knew he should visit Mai as he had promised earlier. The latter part of him won, but he couldn't help but look back in your direction. As soon as he reached Mai's room, he knocked softly.

     "Hey, what took you so long?" Mai asked, dragging him into the room, "I thought you'd never show up."

     "Ah," Zuko let out, "I didn’t- I just got caught up. That's all."

     "Whatever," Mai smiled.

     As much as Zuko wanted to enjoy his girlfriend's company, you were still nagging on his mind. Even when Mai was speaking, he was still thinking back to you. How sad you looked. How guilty he felt about ignoring you. Mai started noticing how distant Zuko was being.

    "Okay, what's going on?"

     "Nothing," Zuko said defensively.

    "What's with you? You don’t have to snap at me. I was just asking a question," Mai replied, leaning away and folding her arms.

     Zuko sighed.

    "I'm sorry. I'm just tired," he said, "I need to go. We'll talk tomorrow."

     Mai attempted to reply but Zuko was gone.

---

You'd been inside your head for the past hour. It was as if everything was slowly coming together. You knew what you had to do now. It wouldn’t be easy- but when was the right thing to do ever easy? Some part of you broke knowing you'd have to leave Zuko behind but in the end you couldn't let him control your destiny- not when he seemed to want no part in your future.  

     You began packing as quickly as you could. Throwing a few items of clothing into a bag as well as some medicine, basic hygiene products and a blanket. You didn't know where you were going but you knew you had to get out.

     Just as you finished packing, you heard a knocking at the door.

    "Hello?" you reply after a moment of hesitation.

    Zuko hesitated.

    "Who's there?" you replied, walking closer to the door.

    With one hand you slowly began opening the door, with the other you had a small flame building. It never hurt to take a precaution when living in a place like the Fire Nation.

    You fully opened the door and saw Zuko: you were stunned for a moment.

    "Zuko?" you asked.

    Gently, you let your hand drop, and the flame went out with it. You opened the door and walked back into your room, leaving it open to Zuko whether he was going to follow or not. He was surprised at your lack of response. He was expecting you to cry at him or yell at him, but there was nothing.

    He followed you into your room and shut the door behind you.

    "Don't you want to know why I'm here?" Zuko asks.

    "I don't think it's going to matter much longer," you tell him, "I don't think anything you're about to say is going to matter much longer, Prince Zuko."

    "Prince Zuko?" he repeated, "You've never called me that. Not even when we were kids."

    "Yeah, well things have changed since then."

    "For the better!" Zuko insisted, "You're telling me you preferred it when we were sailing in the frozen South Pole for weeks at a time than being a war hero in your own nation? You can't be serious?"

     "Maybe I did."

    "You can't be serious! I- We were miserable!"

   "Maybe you were! I wasn't!" you yelled at him, walking closer to him, "I had my best friend! I don't even know who you are anymore! You haven't spoken to me in weeks!"

   "Y/N, I-"

    "-No! Don't Y/N me!" you snapped at him, pressing a finer to his chest, "I was there for you. I never stopped believing in you. I never left your side. But, the moment you get back here, the moment you have your precious honour back, you forget I even exist!"

   Zuko was silent.

   "And, the saddest part is that I waited for you," you murmured, all your anger gone, "I waited. I thought maybe you're just busy, off doing Prince stuff. But, then I saw you with Mai. Even Azula. And, I knew something had changed. I thought I was your friend; that we had a friendship that was unbreakable. But, now I see you were just using me as a replacement. As a place holder."

   "No," Zuko cried out, "That's not true."

   You turned away, trying not to let him see your tears building.

   "Then tell me why I feel this way. A stranger in my own nation. A prisoner in my own nation."

   "I'm sorry… I didn't think-"

   "-No you didn't think."

   Zuko tried to reach out towards you. And, then he noticed your bag on your bed. It was full and there was items strewn around your room. Something was going on.

   "Y/N, what are you doing? What do you mean it's not going to matter anymore?"

  "I'm leaving."

   "You can't."

   "I have to."

   "You can't leave me here, please," Zuko pleaded.

   "You'll be just fine," you sadly smiled, "You haven't needed me since you got back. I'm sure you won't even notice I'm gone."

    "That's not true!" Zuko argued.

   "Then what is the truth?"

   "The reason… The reason I couldn’t talk to you… Is because every time I looked at you I was remined of that day in Ba Sing Sei," Zuko murmured, "I… I've realised I made the wrong decision that day. Looking at you just reminded me I didn't need to be in the Fire Nation to be home. I just needed you."

   "Oh, Zuko."

   "I'm sorry," he murmured, "I truly am. I'll do anything to make it up to you. Anything."

   "Leave with me."

   "I want to leave," Zuko promised, "But it needs to be the right time. The solstice."

   "I'll wait," you agreed, "But promise me something."

   "Anything."

   "Promise me things will be different this time. I'm tired of fighting against the world's last hope. I'm tired of not doing the right thing."

   "I know my destiny now. My uncle helped me see the light," Zuko said quietly, "I know what I must do now. I'm going to find the Avatar, and I'm going to help him defeat the Fire Lord."

   "Not 'I'. We. I'm coming with you."

    Zuko nodded at you. And, for the first time in what felt like forever he had hope.

[peeterparkr]

limits of desire⤳t.h.||6

chapter 6: mail your save the dates

story summary: you met Tom a night he was trying to sleep with you, it didn’t work and you became best of friends. Wedding bells might be ringing for when you both realize what you really feel.

summary: the one with the blue box and the big question

pairing: fuckboy!tom holland x best friend!reader

warnings: swearing,alcohol mention, didn’t proof read

word count: 6.2k (whoops sorry)

OOF IT’S HERE. TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK! 

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December 1st. 

Tom’s room was a mess, several shirts were placed on his bed, with pants and underwear flying through the room. It was a warzone. Tom was a bigger mess. He was walking bare chest and with his wet hair flying as he was placing the dress shirts above his chest, trying to decide which one looked better. Dress shirts, t-shirts. Hell, what the hell was he supposed to wear? 

Gosh, was he nervous. He was shaking, and his hands were sweating. He had walked around his room for about an hour now. He hadn’t slept the night before and he had drunk coffee, not tea, coffee. Three espressos. He had showered twice and shaved the almost non-existent beard. He had brushed his teeth, three times and then combed his hair. Tom was an emotional mess. 

He was finally going to see her. He was going to finally pick her up, today. After all that time. He was going to see her. He had arranged a dinner with her and her mother, and he was dying to see her. 

Tom walked to Haz’s room, holding a lot of shirts. “I need your help.” 

Haz was only watching him, laughing about it. “Man, you need to calm down,” he told him as he followed him ever. 

“I can’t, how can I calm down? Would you be calm? I wouldn’t, I can’t be calm, I love her man, I haven’t seen her, what if she doesn’t like me anymore?” He was rambling. “How am I even gonna tell her?” There was Tom, placing shirts over his chest to see which one he should wear

“Black one--” Harrison rolled his eyes as Tom kept placing shirts over his chest. “What’s the plan?” 

But… alright, I’ll pick her mother up, and then we’ll pick y/n up from the airport, then we will go out for dinner...And I wanted to be alone with her,” Tom admitted. “But I guess her mother missed her, too.” 

“You guess?” Haz rolled his eyes.  “Well, you can spend tomorrow with her, right? Before the party.” 

“Yes, yes, I cleared out all my schedule,” Tom gulped. “I’m still nervous.” 

“Are you telling her today?” Haz questioned. 

Tom gulped. “Maybe? If the time shows up, I just don’t wanna tell her in front of her mother, but I want her to see I’ve… changed, you know?” 

“But you know, why don’t you tell Anna?” Haz suggested. “That you want some alone time.” 

Tom bit his lip. “I sorta told her, I told her that I wanted to...talk to her daughter and I told her I was taking her to dinner to tell y/n something very important and then she just said: uh yeah I’ll go with you, ” he said. “But I guess Anna isn’t that fond of me, you know, I’ve slept with her niece and…” 

“But she knows her daughter loves you,” Haz said.  “But, I wouldn’t blame her if she’s trying to protect her daughter.”

“You think?” Tom gulped. 

“So you’ve got a long way home, Tom,” Haz admitted. “You’ve gotta prove them both you’ve changed.” 

“I have, I have…” Tom looked down at the dress shirts. 

“Right, are you giving that to her today? That might show you’ve changed” Haz asked, looking down at the blue box on his nightstand. “If I have a guess of what it is...”

Tom had to stop as he looked at the blue box. He bit his lip as he took it in his hands. 

“It’s nothing.” 

“Nothing?” Haz raised his eyebrows. “You’re telling me that if I dare to open that box I won’t find an engagement ring?” 

Tom’s eyes widened. “No, no, of course not! Don’t be silly!” Tom gulped. “No, no.” he blushed. “No, it’s a necklace… a pendant, actually, a rose gold pendant with a small diamond,” Tom cleared his throat, he placed the box inside his drawer. “See? Do you...?” He cleared his throat. “Did you really believe it’s an engagement ring?” 

“Coming from you? Never,” Harrison laughed. 

Tom frowned. “Hey, shut up,” Tom ran a hand through his hair. 

“As if you would buy one,” Harrison laughed. 

“Maybe not now,” Tom cleared his throat and then shook his head. “What am I saying?” He laughed. “No, no, uh… I need...uh.”

“To get ready,” Haz reminded him. “It’s getting late.” 

Tom nodded as he rushed to spray cologne on himself. “Right, late, late, should I buy flowers? Yes, I’ll leave now...and,” he ran as he picked up his keys.  

Haz laughed following him. “Man, aren’t you forgetting something?” 

Tom had already walked out when he felt a cold breeze. “Ah, shit…” 

Haz gave him a black dress shirt since Tom had walked out shirtless, and his coat and he finally left.  He was going to see the woman he was in love with, so it was one big deal. He still had some time to spare, so he decided to buy the flowers. 

He went to a flower shop, and he struggled as he looked at the different flowers, roses, daisies, lavenders, tulips, gerberas, every single type of flower looked pretty. And he didn’t want to go to the cliché, he couldn’t. But red roses just had their special meaning, so he wanted to give it that a try. And of course, a bouquet of roses would right away yell at her he loved her. So it could be good. He remembered when they were talking back at the wedding. 

“I’d have sunflowers,” she started. “Yes, and daisies…Flowers are important.” 

Sure, roses had a big meaning. Red roses were the lovers roses, they meant passion, love. Everything that Tom was dying to tell her. Which had him very nervous, how was he supposed to tell her? 

He could make a reservation to have dinner at a fancy place, but he knew that it’d be too much. She didn’t like the conventional. Y/N wasn’t one to like that. He remembered how ti had gone with Andrew Jacobs when he took her to a big place. She didn’t like being in the spotlight. Not with Andrew, at least. 

y/n’s idea of romance, Tom knew, was simple. She didn’t need the big show or the rom-com like stunts. No, for her, it was the simple things. Like when that guy who had dated her and remembered she liked honey and lemon with her earl grey tea. 

Tom could be that. Tom could be that who remembered every small detail about her, like how she likes to curl up with that grey knit blanket while reading a book, or how she’ll always press her pen repeatedly when she’s nervous. How she likes to eat first all the red m&m’s, or how she hates when people walk slowly. How she ends up rewatching Friends whenever she’s feeling sad after hours of scrolling through the Netflix movies and shows. 

He knew her from head to toe. He knew her soul and he knew the way she would think. He realized it then, he was the one who guessed her thoughts before she could even think them. 

On his way he saw a flower shop he would visit quite often before, he didn’t remember why he had stopped going there. 

“Hello,” the florist said, as she grinned. “Oh my god, Tom Holland” 

Tom sketched her a smile, as he nervously approached her. He realized then, why he had stopped going to that flower shop. He had once slept with that florist who happened to be oh so in love with him. Tom turned red, as he gulped down every embarrassed sentiment he was getting. 

Tom chuckled nervously, as he turned around to catch his breath. Everything was paying off. He needed to be there, for y/n. He pumped up his chest and then turned back to her with a smile. It was weird now that he couldn’t go on flirting with someone. But the girl acted naturally.

“Eh, add some sunflowers, some daisies, and some… red roses,” he asked her. 

She raised an eyebrow. “Interesting combination, daisies mean innocence and purity,” she said as she was setting the flowers up. “The sunflowers symbolize adoration, loyalty and longevity,” she looked up at him and smirked. “And the red roses, huh? They mean passion, you know?” 

Tom rolled his eyes. “Those are my friend’s favourite flowers,” he defended himself. “Not any meaning.”  

The girl laughed as she finally gave him the flowers. It was perfect, perfectly balanced and arranged. Besides, it had roses, but not only roses so it was like a subtle way to declare his love. He paid for it and thanked her while leaving to pick up y/n’s mother. 

Anna, her mother, was staying at a hotel since she didn’t live in London and since y/n had been gone, she didn’t have a place yet. Tom wondered if it would be too inappropriate to offer his place to y/n, while she arranged everything. It would be nice, having her around, and starting off a relationship like that could be nice. They knew everything about each other, nothing could go wrong from that. 

“It’s weird not seeing you on your bike,” Anna said while she got into Tom’s car. She smiled looking at Tom but then bit her lip. She did look at the flowers and she stared at him, making Tom nervous. She had a sad look upon her face. 

“So, y/n’s finally back,” Tom tried to make conversation with her mother. 

“Yes, have you been speaking to her?” She asked Tom. “

“Barely lately,” Tom admitted. “We did text and everything, but I guess we have a lot to talk about, I’ve missed her so much,” Tom said. “Have you talked to her?”

“Yes, you need to talk… Has she told you about…?” She paused, Tom gulped. “I figure not,” Anna said, staring at the flowers, Tom scowled. 

“About what?” Tom bit his lip. 

“Ah, nothing, her...adventures,” Anna whispered. “And well, yes, she tried to facetime me every week,” her mother answered. 

“We tried doing that, but while filming, and with the different time zones…” Tom cleared his throat. “I just… can’t wait to see her.” 

Anna grinned. “I see you brought her flowers,” she pointed out. 

“Yeah, a nice way to welcome her, ” Tom admitted. “I know how much she loves flowers.” 

“She does, she says flowers make…” 

“Everything brighter,” Tom finished her line. “Yeah, yeah, they do, so I brought her sunflowers and daisies… and roses, I also brought her a coat, because I guess she won’t be used to the weather.” 

Oh gosh, if only he had told her about his feelings before, maybe he could’ve brought then only red roses, and he could’ve kissed her, and he could’ve brought something more. Maybe he would’ve visited her, maybe there would be more future. But maybe he would’ve still brought her sunflowers and daisies and roses. It would be just slightly different. 

 Time to time, from time to time. But he wasn’t going to wait, he was going to tell her right away. Of course, if he had time alone with her. It wouldn’t be as nice if he told her in front of her mother. He needed free time with her. 

Eventually, they arrived at the airport. His feet were shuffling as he was wearing a baseball cap.

“Are you alright?” Anna asked him. 

He gulped. “Yeah, yeah, just scared I won’t recognize her.” 

“You dressed up nicely,” Anna pointed out. “Too bad that cap brings down all the charm.” 

“Oh, right, right,” he took it off, scared that y/n wouldn’t like his appearance. 

“Tom?” Anna looked at him again.

Tom gulped. “Yeah?” 

“It’s late,” she sighed. 

Tom blinked. “Late? I thought we were on time,” Tom looked at his phone. 

Anna sighed. But the time arrived, Tom started to look out for her, his stomach jumping up and down and his heartbeat going fast and almost popping out of his chest. He felt like he had turned paled but at the same time, he felt like he was blushing. It made no sense. He had become dizzy as he tried to look out for her in the crowd. 

But then, he saw her, with her skin a bit tan, and her hair longer, she had a bright smile on her face, and even if she looked tired, she looked radiant, her hair was tied up in a bun and she had a hoodie. Tom felt like the whole world had stopped the moment she turned and locked eyes with him, her eyes and her hair, and her skin and her everything. Her smile widened and she didn’t care, she ran over to him. Tom opened up his arms to catch her as she jumped on him, he spun her around holding her tightly, admiring every single thing, taking her essence, and just letting her wrap herself around her. Time had stopped ticking. 

He whispered how much he had missed her on her ear and she just giggled. He kissed her cheek as he kept holding her, the hug lasted for more than expected because he just didn’t want to let her go. She tried to let him go, but he kept his arms around her, he stared down at her lips. He was crazy about her.  

“Hi,” she finally said as they were looking at each other. 

“Hey,” Tom sentenced as he was breathless, helpless, and hopeless. He just wanted to blurt out already. Hell, he could kiss her right away. 

“I missed you!” She squeaked. 

“I missed you too,” he leaned over to place a peck on her cheek, as he finally let her go, turning red and embarrassed. “Oh, sorry.” 

“No, it’s okay, I’m cold anyway,” she said, with a big smile. “Your hugs have always been warm.” 

“Right…This!” He placed the coat on her. “Uh,” he handed the flowers over as well. “These… these are for you.” 

“Thank you,” She blushed as she put the coat on. “Damn, it’s really cold.” 

“Aren’t you going to say hi to your mother?” Anna interrupted as y/n turned to her. 

“Mum!” She squealed as she hugged her mother. 

Tom couldn’t wait to tell her. 

They left to the hotel, y/n took a shower and changed to some warmer clothes and despite y/n being completely tired and hit with the jet lag, she accepted to go on dinner. The reservation was already made. 

They were laughing at her crazy stories. But all Tom could think was how he should be having his arms around her, and how his lips were supposed to be on hers or how they should be holding hands. 

She had her hand on her necklace, but Tom couldn’t see the charm it had on it. She kept hiding it. 

“I swear, in the beginning, I was really really confused by the language! But now I can say those Spanish classes paid off,” she answered. “And I learned a lot, even medicine stuff! I had a free day this day, and okay, I was with Miguel we were exploring, he helped me take some pictures.” 

Miguel, he didn’t like how that name sounded, but Tom smiled anyway, listening excitedly. He knew Miguel from her Instagram. He clenched his jaw. 

“Miguel… as in the guy in your Instagram?” Tom asked with the least poison. 

Y/N blushed as she took a sip of her drink. “Yeah, that guy, he’s a doctor,” she took a deep breath. 

Great, the guy saves lives. 

“So, they reached for us, a kid was ill, apparently he had eaten this plant…what was it? Well, I don’t know, but he was definitely not doing well, so we were in this town, if we can call it that way, in the middle of the jungle, trying to figure out what was the plant, but we spoke with some townspeople and we made this type of serum let’s call it that way, with the root of the plant, and we saved him! But can you imagine how difficult it was trying to figure out what to do without medicine? The poor kid, he was adorable!” 

“You’re a superhero,” Tom commented. 

“Yes, Spidey, I’m a superhero,” She winked at him. “Gosh, a lot of things happened, and I saw a lot of beautiful places.” 

“Indeed, you’re full of adventures, huh?”  Anna commented. “Have you told Tom about them all?” 

Y/N glanced at her mother. “Well, uh, not everything,”  but hey, that might be a good idea! What are you doing tomorrow, Tom? So we can fully catch up?” 

“Uh, I actually freed my day for you,” Tom grinned. “Because we truly need to talk.” 

“Well, that’s just….” Y/N stayed quiet as she turned to her mother. “But tomorrow,” she turned to her mother. “Would you… pick him up, tomorrow?” 

“Pick who up?” Asked Tom, y/n just side-eyed him, while Anna nodded. 

“Sure,” her mother agreed. 

“Pick who…?” 

“So, Tom! When did you come back from filming?” Y/N was sure to change the subject. “I mean, it’s been a few weeks right?” 

“Oh, er, yeah… yeah.” 

“Another Spider-Man movie, wow, remember when you were out of the MCU? Wow, that was such a hard time, huh? Good thing you’re back in!” y/n said condescendingly. 

“That’s something,” Tom added, looking down. “It’s time for a change.” 

“Yes, time for a change,” Y/N nodded, as she smiled at Tom, melting him with a single glance directed at him. He felt like all his shields were being tumbled down, he was weak around her. He had missed her, so so so much, and now that he had her, without taking her for granted, he realized how important she was in his life. And he couldn’t wait another day, he had to tell her. He wanted her to be his forever already, to hold her in his arms, to be able to kiss her hand, to be able to wake up beside her. 

But it had to wait until tomorrow, he needed to have a speech prepared. The night continued, Tom and Anna admitted they had had breakfast together a few months before because Tom was missing y/n that much so he had the closest thing to her. The conversation had a spectacular flow, listening to her adventures and her shenanigans in Mexico. Eventually, y/n’s eyes were struggling to stay open. 

Tom offered his place for both of them, but y/n was quick to resist it. So Tom was going to pick her up the next day. 

However, the next day early in the morning Harrison was laughing while Tom was cleaning up himself in front of the mirror. 

“What?” Asked Tom, glancing over at Haz. 

“Y/N texted me,” Haz answered. “You won’t have her for yourself.” 

“Huh?” Tom frowned. 

“She invited me over, said we should all hang out.” 

“Man, but I need to talk to her,” Tom bit his lip as he leaned against the wall. “Say no.” 

“I did, she said she’d drag my ass down if I didn’t,” Haz commented. “Look, you can invite her for dinner.” 

“I wanna tell her,” Tom whined. “I wanna just tell her.” 

“You can take her to that new pub you said you’ll go with her,” Haz insisted. “And well, she said she wanted to go shopping.” 

“Ugh, right, she mentioned she wanted to buy something to Lizzie, it’s her birthday in a few days,” Tom rubbed his face. “Alright, sure, we could spend it as we usually do, brunch,  shopping, uh… yeah, then, we can go to the bakery, I wanted to go for a walk in the park, that’s romantic, right?”

 “That’s so cheesy,” Haz teased. “But hey, anything to win her heart.” Haz continued. “So have you figured it out? How you’re gonna declare you love for her?” 

Tom grinned and then laughed. “Nope.” 

“Dude?” Harrison scowled. 

“I’m kidding, I kind of… have it figured it out,” Tom started. 

“But?” Harrison crossed his arms. 

“I need the right time,” Tom shrugged. “That’s why I needed the whole day, to figure out when.” 

“Tom, any time is the right time to tell someone you love,” Harrison insisted. 

“Fine, then I’ll tell her at the park, or at the pub, maybe I need some alcohol before telling her, at least a beer,” Tom felt nervous again, with his heart rushing and his blood flushing. “I’ll go, y/n, I'm crazy about you. I think about you all the time. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” 

“And then you’ll be happily ever after,” Harrison joked laughing. “I’m happy for you.” 

Eventually, Tom and Harrison were waiting at the hotel lobby, and when she saw Harrison she rushed to hug him. “Oh my god, Watson, I missed you!” 

“Missed you too, Sherlock!” He said. 

Then she looked at Tom, who opened his arms for a hug. 

She chuckled and hugged him. “Hmm, you’re wearing cologne again?” She asked him. Tom blushed. 

“I always do.” Tom cleared his throat. 

“No, I know,you always smell good, but… this one is your… fancy event cologne, and I mean that sounds weird but I know you,” y/n said, glancing up at him. “And you’re all dressed up.”

Tom winked at her. “So, let’s go for brunch,” Tom cleared his throat. 

“You’ll be joining us all day, Haz?” Asked y/n. 

“Oh, no, no, I have something to do later,” Harrison lied with a nod. “You’ll be alone.” 

“Oh, okay, because I have something very important to tell you both, but it can wait.”

“Can’t you tell us at brunch?” Tom asked. 

She gulped. “I…” 

The day had gone spectacular, however, it had been exhausting. They had followed their old amazing routines to spend the best day together. They went to the usual restaurant where they usually hung out, and Harrison came along. They ordered mimosas and she was laughing too much. 

She seemed nervous, too. 

“So, what’s that you wanted to tell us?” Haz asked. 

She then grabbed her necklace again. “Um,” she looked down at her phone. “I uh...I uh, started… writing a book!” 

“A book?” Tom grinned. “That’s amazing!” 

“Yes, and I will… continue working for BBC, I’ll be an official reporter!” She grinned, nodding, her hand still on her necklace. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Tom said. 

They continued to eat. 

“You look so different, y/n,” Haz said. 

“Yeah,” y/n chuckled. “The hair, maybe, got a tan,” she admitted. 

“You look beautiful,” Tom said, looking into her eyes. 

She blushed and chuckled. “Thanks, Tommy.” 

Haz criticized them for always ordering the same damn thing from the menu, then they, as usual, ended up ordering two desserts so they could both enjoy both of the sweet pastries while eating from each other’s plate (of course, Haz didn’t suppress his critics because a. That was too cheesy, and b. Who orders dessert in breakfast?). They went to explore together all the mall searching for a gift for Lizzie. Tom had used the day to tell her all of his adventures, shenanigans, and misconceptions he had had along his trip in the last months, and his adventures while filming. She had kept quiet, listening intrigued all his stories. It was unusual, she was quiet, not sad but different. Her sight was lost. 

Oh, Tom could not stop watching her, the way her fingers walked through the dressers, or the ways her eyes were riveted on the different gifts, it was the most impressive sight Tom had seen. He was seeing her with different eyes, or maybe, after all this time, he finally realized the right way to watch her. He was not blind anymore. 

After all that, finally both of them were alone, y/n and Tom went to the bakery. He guessed what she wanted to have but she seemed so...off. She didn’t guess what he wanted to have. 

But he kept asking her about her trip and everything. 

Tom was anxious, he guessed it had to be due to the fact of the last incident they shared together. 

Tom took her to the park, place where he had finally decided to take her. 

“We’ve never been to the park before,” she commented. Her eyes were glued on her phone. 

Tom shrugged. “Thought it’d be nice,” he commented. “I’ve come here all the time you were away.” 

“You missed me that much?” She laughed. 

“I did,” Tom admitted. “I usually came here to see the old couples, they’re adorable.” 

“Really?” Y/N chuckled. 

“Yes, they made me believe in love…” Tom said, glancing at her. “Maybe it does exist, maybe it’s been right in front of me.” 

Y/N wasn’t aware she was looking at him, she kept watching the couples. 

 “I… y/n, I think we left on bad terms and…” 

“No, no, that’s alright, all of it, it’s forgotten.” She looked nervous, Tom watched her clumsy and fast movements. She was now texting on her phone, with an expression that Tom knew perfectly, it was the look that hid something. Tom had not taken noticed how much he had missed her, and because of his recent realization of his feelings for her, it was a little hard work not to get dizzy or stunned by her.

He knew that it probably was the right time to tell her everything he felt for her, yes, it was time. These six months without her, him working and her in Latin America, it was impossible to contact her, so even if they had been apart for a while he knew it could work out, after all, they were the best of friends. But they had so much to tell. Yet, it was time. He did not know how to tell her, though, going: 'hey, I decided to leave my playboy life for you, because I realized that all this was an act to cover the emptiness I have, and oh, I have always been in love with you.'

“So, now we’re finally alone,” y/n commented.

“Yes, I needed this,” Tom said, reaching over for her hand. “You’re cold.” 

“Well, I mean, I’m not used to this weather, spent 6 months in Mexico in Quintana Roo, quite a hot place, so I’m..” Y/N nodded. “It was good.” 

“You’re tanned,” Tom smiled, as he watched her. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, her eyes flickering and the way her smile was lopsided. She didn’t need the red dress or all the makeup, all she needed was that smile she had.

“Yes, and you’re pale,” she chuckled.

“I…” He wanted to tell her. “I...missed you so much,” he said.

“I know,” she laughed. “I missed you too… Hey, so at what time’s the party?” 

Tom blinked. “The…?” 

“It slipped from Haz,” she chuckled. “I mean I can still act surprised when we arrive,” she laughed. 

“You were not supposed to know,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s later…” 

“Yeah, and I mean, Haz not wanting to hang out? And you bringing me to the park?” She grinned. “That’s a nice way to stall around.” 

Tom gulped. “Yeah, I guess.” 

“What’s got you all nervous, Tom?” She pointed out. 

“I mean, all this time has given me a lot of time to think,” he gulped. “I… feel like we truly have been avoiding this and I don’t…”

Y/N gulped. “Tom, you’re my best friend,” she said. 

“Yeah, yeah, and you’re mine,” he said. 

She stepped right in front of him, she was tense. “I need to tell you something.” 

“You do?” Tom asked, squeezing her hand. Her phone started to ring. "Look, that’s that’s… a coincidence, y/n there is something ..." That was a start.

“Wait, I need to take this…” She took her phone and walked away. Tom sighed. 

Suddenly, a big smile was on her face. “Tom, we need to get back to the hotel!” 

“Back to the…?” He frowned. 

“Yes, you’ll understand,” she said as she dragged him back to the car. 

She spent the whole ride texting. Tom wasn’t concentrating while driving. His heart was going to bump out of his chest. The ride was rather quick. 

They went to the hotel bar. They both ordered a beer. 

“Y/N, I really need…”He gulped. “I… y/n, you’re my best friend in the world, and this 6 months,” he started out again. But she kept her eyes glued to her phone. 

“What?” She looked up. “Sorry, sorry, what were you saying?” Y/N gulped. 

“y/n can you explain--?” 

"He's here!" She shrieked excitedly, as she looked down at her phone again. She sketched a mischievous smile, Tom looked at her confused as she made her way to the entrance where Tom observed she hugged a stranger. He saw Anna there as well, smiling. What was happening?

The man was bold and handsome, they were holding hands when they arrived, causing Tom to want to pass out. He saw him. He saw him. The hazel-eyed handsome boy he had seen on her Instagram. The tan big boy on her Instagram.  The guy who had had his lips on y/n’s. Jealousy was a word that fell short for what he was feeling. Tom decided to order a whiskey.

"Tom ... I want to introduce you, to the love of my life," y/ n's voice was shrill. "Miguel."

“The…? What?” Tom felt that his stomach burn, and he knew that he was going to faint at any moment. Clearly, it was not the time to declare his love for her.

"Hello," said the boy offering him a hand, Tom shook it surprised. "I can not believe I'm meeting Spider-Man."

And Tom could not believe whatever that was happening was happening. It must be a nightmare. 

He looked at y/n’s mother who waved a sad goodbye at him. 

"Would you give me a moment?" Tom wanted to go to the bathroom to throw water to his face so he could wake up from this nightmare, but when he turned around, he made a waiter stumble over him throwing away his food. It was a complete disaster.

"Sorry, sorry," Tom apologized, as the waiter shook his head cleaning it. 

Tom sat back, ignoring the panorama. "What ... what...where were we?" Tom said as the couple took a seat and the waiter brought him his whiskey, which Tom drank before the waiter had even left. Tom ordered another whiskey.

"This is what you wanted to tell me?" Tom asked, nervously, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt. 

“You haven’t told him?” Miguel grinned, wrapping an arm around her. 

"Something like that, well, well, I met Miguel in Mexico," Y/N explained, unable to take her eyes off the handsome young man. Tom listened interested. "It was so romantic."

"Oh, and why did I not know about this?" Tom asked with as little poison as possible.

"I wanted it to be a surprise, and I also did not have time to tell you, or no phone whatsoever," y/n continued. "Wait, I did tell you! It's the boy I met the day I got lost in the jungle ... It was raining, my truck broke down, remember? And I mean it’s not like you haven’t seen my instagram pictures."

"Ah, it's him." Tom gave her a fake smile.

"Yes, it's me," said Miguel with an accent that Tom guessed was making y/n sick or something, because she looked… flushed . He had intense green eyes that were accentuated by his tanned skin. "Well, I just helped her with her truck, and that’s it."

"You're the doctor then, huh?" Tom turned to Miguel.  “He is … he is the guy from your stories.” 

"Yes! But, alas, Miguel here likes to takes away the romantic part, he arrived like a prince to my rescue. "

"Princes do not normally ride motorcycles," Miguel teased sweetly. Tom wanted to vomit.

"You do," she said as he kissed her. Tom poured down his whiskey, and the waiter watched and caught the situation and quickly brought him another one. "Well, that day, I had a free day, I was gonna go out and explore the town, I borrowed this truck from this family, it wasn’t like a new one but I thought it would…” She laughed. “Well, it was very old, and it started to stop working, and I freaked out… It started pouring and suddenly, it was just me surrounded by mud and just no clue where to go. Of course, I’m in damn nowhere because we were filming in the...Selva Lacandona. There are no street signs anywhere and it's getting dark.” 

“I think she thought she was in some bad Indiana Jones movie!” Miguel laughed. 

Tom just smiled. He felt like he wanted to die right there. 

“So, anyway, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, Miguel comes riding a motorcycle,  and asks me if I need any help! He came to my rescue because I was completely lost, and he took me with him to this hut in the village, this nearby indigenous town, where he bought me the best coffee I ever had, he took care of my cold, we started to hang out, and we realized that ... we were meant to be. We spent the whole time together.” 

Debatable, thought Tom .

“We didn’t like each other at the beginning,” Miguel admitted. “Well, she didn’t like me.” 

“Is that so?” Tom asked with a fake grin. 

Y/N nudged Miguel. “That’s not true, I was just stressed that he seemed to be making fun of me such a city girl,” she laughed. “But he managed to make me fall for him,” she kissed him again. “I mean, you can’t blame I was so stressed… But then when we arrived at the town and I saw how kind he was with everyone, I just…” She looked Miguel in the eyes and kissed him again.

Tom rolled his eyes as he looked away. 

“So what were you doing there?” Tom asked Miguel. “Why is a doctor in the middle of the jungle?”

“I uh, I decided to live in the jungle for a bit, they usually don’t have doctors there and I wanted to help the village out,”

“Isn’t he the best?” y/n chuckled. 

“Indeed,” Tom gulped. 

"But well, how couldn’t I fall for him?” She chuckled. 

“Of course, how couldn’t you,” Tom clenched his jaw. 

“Long story short…” 

"You fell in love," Tom finished her sentence, the waiter had already brought him another whiskey. He started to sip this one slowly. He was sweating. 

“And ...Then I realized that she was about to leave,” Miguel explained. “I realized we had so little time together.” 

 Y/N finally pulled out her necklace, without showing the charm. She took it off and hid the charm on her hand. Tom watched her carefully.

“So I just realized that I couldn’t let her leave,” Miguel said, looking her in the eyes. “Because I fell in love with her the first moment I saw her.” 

You and me both, Tom thought. 

Y/N smiled, not taking off his eyes from him. 

“So I did what any man with sense would’ve done,” he gulped. “I got down on one knee and…” 

“We’re engaged!” She finally showed the charm, which was an engagement ring. She placed in on her left hand. 

Tom almost spat out his drink.

"What? How?" Tom blinked repeatedly as he watched them.

"He proposed to me and I accepted!"

"Yeah, well, that's what ... What?" Tom was cold. This was an even worse nightmare. 

"We know it's soon but when I see her, I look at her and I know she's the only person I need in my life, she's the answer to all my questions," Miguel said before kissing her.

"Te amo," she told him and then turned back to Tom."Isn't he adorable?"

"Yes, yes he is ..."Tom gurgled. 

"Yeah, well, and I know it's soon ... But, thw wedding’s coming together very quickly actually, we’re gonna get married back in Mexico, small thing, we don’t expect a lot of people to book a flight overseas in a month…” 

“A month?” Tom frowned. “As in new years eve..?” 

“Yes! I thought it would be romantic, to start my new life with him,” Y/N said. 

“It’s crazy, isn’t it?” Miguel smirked. 

“Very,” Tom frowned. 

“And it’s in a very pretty place, near where we met, in Bacalar, Quintana Roo…”She continued. “But anyway, I was here to ask you ... I know you’ll never get married, but I thought, you're my best friend, the bestest friend in the world Tom, so ... "

Tom could not say anything.

"I won't ask you for anything else, so Tom, would you be my maid of honour?"

"You ..." Tom began to feign a laugh, as he stood up. "Your maid of honour?"

The waiter arrived with another whiskey, which Tom knocked down when he stopped.

"Man!" The waiter complained.

“Sorry, sorry, but… I…” Tom couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “Your maid of honour?”

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[purplesurveys]

1030

1. What did you do on the last nice weather day? I’m guessing ‘nice’ here universally means sunny and fair, even though that isn’t my weather of choice. But that said, yesterday I just stayed indoors and caught up on rest by binge-watching Friends, which I haven’t done in a while. I also ordered another embroidery kit online since my first kit, which I had mostly used as a trial since I’ve never done one before, has since run out of the given floss.

2. What do you love the most about your work? I work in an agency, so I’m not forced to do PR under just one company which I think would get boring for me pretty quickly. With the nature of my work, it’s fun working with many different brands/companies at one time because I get to be exposed to and learn about different industries, and I’m also challenged to come up with campaigns that would best fit the different groups that we work with which is always fun. Also, PR is a great way to keep up with the trends and always remain hip because I always know about upcoming campaigns or promos before they’re even unveiled to the public, lol.

3. What do you think about what is going on in the world today? I think wealthy people and big corporations are a crucial, if not the main, root of the world’s problems and it’s frustrating that the task of mitigating those issues is always delegated to everyone below them.

4. What is your favorite way to work out? By not doing so, hahaha.

5. What motivates you? I don’t know if anything has been lately. I’ve been taking life slowly and easily these days and I’m allowing myself to just go through the motions as I digest all these big adjustments currently going on in my life. For now I’m not putting any pressure on myself to be motivated to do anything big. I’m still a little overwhelmed with everything as it is.

...where’s #6?

7. What is something people do that drives you crazy? When people need something from you so they message you, but do unnecessary small talk before asking for a favor. The fact that they need my help does not bother me; the fact that they are only talking to me because they need something from me does not bother me. It’s the small talk that irks me. I’ll be ready to help anybody at any time and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve spoken – but just go ahead and ask for the damn thing and don’t waste my time trying to sound like you care about what’s going on in my life.

8. What are some things on your bucket list? Go to Wrestlemania, travel with my own funds, have my own place, have kids.

9. What are some of your deal breakers in a relationship? Do I even have any? Gab dropped so many red flags in our relationship that should have been dealbreakers and my dumb, ever-forgiving ass always saw past them. I think the thing with me is that I think I have a list of dealbreakers, but when actually confronted with them I’m too afraid to speak out about it, so I just forgive and forget and eventually they just stop being dealbreakers. I have to work on that.

10. What do you never leave your house without? My top three are phone, keys, wallet. And of course, as a given – a face mask and face shield.

11. What was your most memorable vacation? Sagada and Singapore/Malaysia, since that was my first trip abroad.

12. Do you have any phobias? Needles and fire.

13. What is your favorite ethnic food? Indian, Thai, Indonesian, and Korean. 14. I love Italian/Thai etc. Would you like to go to my favorite place sometime? I love both, though I like Thai a tad bit more. And yessss, I’m always open to anyone’s recommendations so long as it’s got something to do with food.

15. What TV shows have you binged lately? I’ve been rewatching Friends again and I’m in between seasons 5–7, which I believe to be the show’s peak. Currently, I’m several episodes away from the Ross/Elizabeth storyline and Chandler’s proposal.

16. Send me a funny meme that you shared recently. I haven’t been active on social media, so I haven’t seen any new memes lately. I hate missing out.

17. What do you hate about technology? This is more nitpickiness on my end than anything else, but battery power. I hate being constantly cautious over my gadget running out of power or dying on me especially when I’m out. I often find myself wishing for technology to evolve to the point that we won’t need batteries or to charge stuff anymore, which idek if it’s even possible haha.

18. What sites do you find yourself visiting the most? YouTube, by a mile.

19. Do you have any favorite apps? Again, YouTube. I also like going through Reddit at the end of the day.

20. What is the best part of your day? Any point I don’t find myself feeling miserable.

21. What time period would you like to visit the most, if you could time travel? 70′s punk/rock scene, maybe? < Ooh, this is a good one. Also, late 90s Attitude Era-era WWF/E. And whenever Pompeii was around.

22. What scents do you really enjoy? (a certain flower, cut grass, fireplace, perfume) Bakeries, a newly-cleaned hotel room, coffee shops.

23. What is something that you are terrible at? Giving and following directions, drawing, and cooking.

24. What are some favorites on your playlist right now? Because I mentioned The Japanese House on a survey last night, I am ALL over Saw You In A Dream again. Seriously, god-tier. One of my favorites ever. Outside of that, haven’t been listening to music lately because I’m still sad; but I might find myself back on Spotify soon. As much as I haven’t been tuning into music, I do miss it.

25. What comedy movie is your favorite? Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Also, a bit of a garbage choice but White Chicks.

26. Have you ever meditated? No. I don’t think I have the patience/required attention span for it.

27. What is your dream job? I wanted to be in PR. I currently work at an agency which is my dream for now so yay for me achieving that, but like I’ve said before it would be such a dream come true if I can come work for WWE, my dream company, in any capacity. Getting to work for their in-house PR team would be the perfect icing on the cake.

28. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Being in a relationship, and how much I miss that feeling. Now that I’ve experienced both singlehood and having an SO, I can definitely decide that I don’t particularly enjoy being by myself.

29. What do you miss the most about college? The independence I learned to gain. My campus was such a freeing environment and it allowed me to grow so much, to wear whatever I want, to join whatever protest or rally was going on, to meet new people, to hear different perspectives from my classmates. I miss being there.

30. Whenever you text it makes me smile! ???

31. What are you planning this weekend? My weekend is nearly over, actually...for the remaining 10 hours and 20 minutes of it, I willllll probably just watch a bunch of wrestling and maybe find something to watch on Netflix just so that I have something interesting to share for the weekly check-in tomorrow with the team.

32. Who is your favorite band? Paramore, but you knew that already.

33. How do you like to spend your free time? If I manage to find a few free minutes while at work, I gobble that shit up by lying in bed and finding a video to watch. On weekends I like doing embroidery, taking surveys, maybe even find a black hole of articles to read on Wikipedia. I’m also looking forward to playing video games once I’ve finally bought the ones I’ve been eyeing to get.

34. What do you like about springtime? I don’t know. I can’t relate, we don’t have that season.

35. Is your personality similar to anyone in your family? I’m most similar with my mom, but I share traits with my dad as well.

36. How have you handled having to stay in? It was sucky at first, but after eight months you kinda get used to it and just make the most out of things you can do only at home.

37. Are you able to work at home? Yeah, we’re all on a WFH set-up right now.

38. How would your friends describe you? The most popular opinion would probably be ‘shy.’

39. Did you ever take a really big risk? Sure.

40. What do you want to be known or remembered for? Anything but negatively.

[glass-on-the-waters-surface]

Misplaced

You awake, dazed, vision blurry and head foggy. All you know is that it’s hot - but your skin is dry, and it doesn’t bother you. You sit up, rub your eyes to wipe the sleep from your eyes. You are still wearing the white cotton summer dress, but when you look up, you are no longer at the midsummer picnic with all of your friends. Instead you are surrounded by towering spires that stretch up into the red mist miles above you. Large creatures soar between these volcanic towers, letting out an echoing screech. 

“Welcome,” you hear.

Turning to face the voice, you see a tall and handsome man, holding out his hand. You take it, and he pulls you to your feet. 

“Where am I?” You ask, voice hoarse.

“I can imagine you’re quite confused. You’re in Hell. Allow me to introduce myself - Lucifer. You may have heard of me.” 

“But if you’re...and I’m in...that must mean I’m...”

“Dead. Yes. You...drowned. It was quite the scene. Would you like to hear more?” Lucifer answers.

You nod slowly, bewildered. Just moments ago you were in the sun, surrounded by your friends, your family not too far. How could you be dead? Maybe it’s all a dream...

Lucifer tucks your hand into the crease of his elbow and begins walking. “Well, this is going to be quite hard to hear, and everyone’s memory is always a bit hazy when they first arrive. But you were down by the river, cooling off from the intense sunshine whilst enjoying your annual picnic with your friends and your family and their families. You and your friends had enjoyed a few drinks, as you’re allowed to, and you went down into the water with that boy. The others can’t see you, and all you’re doing is...splashing around...but then you lose your footing-”

“And I go under the water...the current...”

“Yes, the current was strong. You hit your head, and with the drinks you’d had, you had no control. And that boy...rather than helping you, he...put his foot on your chest...pressed down until...well, I’m sure you know.”

“So...I was murdered?” You ask aloud, despite knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

You stop, turn to face him. “But if I’m in Hell...where’s the screams of pain? The torture? The Seven Circles? Purgatory? Demons and...why don’t you look like all those, no offence, awful paintings of you?”

“I appear differently to everyone. Sometimes I do look like those paintings you mentioned, but usually only to those who know they’ve done the worst things. Despite knowing how awful they are, and how much they fear this place and, myself, they continue to do it. So they see what they expect. Others see the goat image, which is frankly my least favourite. Sometimes I’m a woman. But you seem to just see me as another generic man in a suit,” he begins. “As for the landscape, again it varies for the person. Some wake up immediately in their personal Hellscapes, others must be taken, and a rare few like yourself just appear in random locations, and I have to lead them to where they will reside. Does that make sense?”

You nod again, but your mind is far. 

“You still seem perplexed. Would you like an example?”

“No...I just...I don’t know what I did for me to end up in Hell...”

“Ah, I have something that might help you with that. Follow me.”

You follow him through a maze of volcanic rocks and spires, over a river of lava, past pits and locked doors. He brings you to a rather well-constructed...cave? He unlocks it, and inside there are shelves upon shelves of boxes; as you walk past them, you can see they’re alphabetised, spotting a few famous monichers. You both come to a stop, he searches, then pulls out a box. Your name is engraved in the top; you open it, and inside is a small glowing sphere. 

“Your memories. Sort of. Memories of all the sins you have committed, whether you knew they were sins or not. Hold on tight to that.”

He waves his hand, and you follow him out of the cave of memories, into another cave. Inside, a large throne-like chair on a raised podium; Lucifer takes you to a bowl filled with...water? He takes the box from you, takes the bead and drops it in the bowl. Suddenly, the room is illuminated with a projector screen, and images of yourself. 

“There are quite a few that end up here without an understanding of why. So they come to one of these projection rooms, and figure it out for themselves, once they know, off they go to their punishment.”

“Isn’t that your job?”

“Seven billion people on Earth, and millions dying every day. I can’t possibly deal with each one of them. Only particularly interesting cases I deal with by hand, like you.”

“Why me?”

“Find out, won’t we? Make yourself comfortable, all you have to do is touch a memory with your hand to watch it, or to stop it, I have other matters to deal with, as always.”

Lucifer leaves. You glance up at the projections, a pang of sadness as you catch some images where you’re smiling and laughing, surrounded by the closest people, their names flashing across your brain. You begin with the earliest memory, tapping on what seems like air. The picture expands, you’re still young, possibly around five years old. You take a seat, and watch.

- - - 

You spend days watching, re-watching, rewinding, repeating your memories, but none seem to show a clear sin. And each time, you reverse the mistake you made - apologies, honesty, helping, fixing. You don’t know, but Lucifer keeps watch over you from the door of the viewing room, also confused as to why you had landed in his domain. There must be something that damned you to Hell.

One day, you are rewatching a memory of yourself in your teen years where you make a passing comment about a friend that turns into a widespread rumour. There’s a human shriek not far from the room. You pause the video, rush to see the commotion. A newcomer had landed in the river of lava; you run, pulling him out of the current on to the ground, cradling his head and reassuring him that it will be okay, but his lower-half has disintegrated, and he cries in pain. You don’t notice them, but demons surround you both and watch in awe and shock. Lucifer arrives, and then he sees it.

“Help him!” You beg.

“It’s too late, the only thing he can do now is go down the River Lethe. Someone take him away.” Lucifer explains, sending him to the river of forgetfulness, so he can forget his pain and his memories on Earth. “From there he will receive his sentencing.”

The man is taken away by a group of demons. 

“That poor man...” You say, hands still resting on your lap as if his head is still there.

“It happens, most don’t make it. I think I know where you need to be. Come,” Lucifer says, and like that first day, he helps you from the ground. 

Once again, you’re following him through a maze of pathways. You have walked through the towers before, you know the routes. You don’t know how long it’s been, but you pretty much have the map memorised, but then, he takes you down an unknown route, darker, and...cooler. 

“Did you figure out why you’re here?” Lucifer asks, still walking.

“No! I have watched those memories countless times, but I...I still don’t know why. I made up for all of them.”

You’re suddenly walking through an open expanse, where a door stands alone. The air is colder, the colours bluer. Lucifer leads you right outside that door, then stops.

“I know why you ended up here.”

“Why? Am I...about to...finally be punished?” You asks, blatantly terrified.

“No. In the last moments of your life, you felt so guilty, convinced yourself that it was your fault, if you didn’t hide your relationship with that boy from your friends, or drink, this wouldn’t have happened. You even forgave that boy. You made yourself believe you deserved to be in Hell, so you did. From the moment you landed, I couldn’t understand why you were here. Hope the memories would help, but even then, I couldn’t see it.”

“So, what’s the verdict?”

“Just now. You helped that man, even though you didn’t know him and he probably deserved it. Usually those that end up in the River Phlegethon are some of the most abhorrent people. I haven’t seen it before, and certainly none of my demons have either.”

“What?” You ask, concerned and panicking.

“You aura. I can see everyone’s, they correspond with how sinful they are. But yours was bright white. It was partially evident when you arrived, but it was dim. But just now, it was blinding. You have never been a bad person, always fixing the sins you have committed, but you believed this is where you would end up,” Lucifer explains. “Of your own accord, you were misplaced.”

“So...where are we? What is this door?”

“Only I know where this door is, and only I can open it. It’s where you were meant to be,” he begins, pulls the door open to reveal a bright, blue-tinted light. “Heaven.”

Your mouth agape, and eyes wide and flickering to and from the light to Lucifer. 

“It’s time for you to go. Don’t worry, when his time comes, that boy will pay for his sins, for what he did to you.”

Without hesitation, you hug him. “Thank you. For giving me a chance, for helping me. You’re not as terrible as everyone thinks, and as you believe.”

He chuckles, you pull away, smiling.

“And that is why you shouldn’t be here. Sympathy for the Devil. Thank you, but off you go.”

Your smile widens, you nod, and in a few steps you disappear into the light, and Lucifer closes the door behind you.

gonna start posting my one-shots and ideas that pop into my head on my blog. tap the heart if you like it xoxo

[stevesnightmares]

Top 25 Doctor Who episodes

They are in chronological order, from season 1 (2005) to season 11 (2018), not of preference, two parters are counted as one episode. (edit: I had forgotten about “Midnight, so there are 26 now instead of 25, ops?)

★ S01E06 "Dalek" this episode really made me love the 9th doctor, Christopher performance was fantastic, I wish they had given him more time on the show so that we could have seen more of that rage.

★ S01E09-10 "The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances", this will be no surprise to anyone because it's a fan favourite of almost everyone, but that's because it's such a well written episode, creepy and intriguing, original and with a beautiful and heartwarming ending. That "For once everybody lives" always makes me tear up a bit.

★S01E12-13 "Bad Wolf/The Parting of Ways", RTD has always had beautiful endings and this surely is one, emotional and beautiful, but also funny at times. The final part where Rose looked into the TARDIS and her interactions with the Daleks was badass as fuck, and her interaction with the Doctor was beautiful. And let's not talk about "You were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!"

★ S02E08-09 "The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit", this is such an underrated episode but a brilliant one. It's scary and it always keeps you on your toes because you don't know what's going to happen. I didn't appreciate it enough the first time I saw, only when I rewatched it I realized how good it was.

★S02E12-13 "Army of Ghosts/Doomsday", of course this is going to be on the list, Rose was my first companion and seeing her go was a devastating experience that I can't forget. I remember seeing this episode for the first time and crying like a baby just during the initial monologue "[...] But then came the Army of Ghosts. Then came Torchwood and the war. That's when it all ended. This is the story of how I died." Still crying over this. And let's not talk about the wall scene. You know which one.

★S03E01 "Smith and Jones", when I first watched season 3 I didn't appreciate it enough because I was mourning Rose's departure and couldn't get over it, however, when I rewatched it, I finally was able to appreciate this season because it's a really good season. I know this episode is an odd choice, not a lot of people talk about this specific episode, but I think it's a really good episode, really enjoyable, but not too heavy, and Martha in this episode is absolutely brilliant, we can see just how smart and brave and smart and smart she really is.

★ S03E08-09 "Human Nature/The Family of Blood", this is another really popular and loved episode by the fandom, and again, there is a really good reason. This episode it's fun but also emotional, it's really original and super intriguing. And of course we can't forget to mention the "fury of a time lord", that scene where he punishes the family of blood is just perfect. Loved it.

★ S03E12-13 "The sound of Drums/Last of the time lords", as I said, RTD finales are absolutely brilliant, and this, like the others, is brilliant too. It shows what a complete badass Martha is, traveling the world all alone because she is a woman on a mission. I didn't really like how the doctor got back to normal, but let's not think about it too much. My favourite scene ever, that gave me the chills is when Martha finds out what's inside those robots, it still gives me chills every time I see that scene.

★S04e08-09 "Silence in the Library/Forest of the Dead", again, this is a really predictable episode, but it is a beautiful two parter. The villain is brilliant and super scary, the whole concept of the episode is brilliant and it's executed perfectly, and we are also introduced to River, for whom we are sad when she dies the first time we see it but it's so much better when you rewatch the episode after having watched all the other episodes with her, including The husband of River Song, which take place right after this episode.

★ S04E10 "Midnight" do I even have to explain why this episode, which is loved by everyone, is in this list? I don't think so.

★ S04E11 "Turn Left", this episode is criminally underrated. I LOVE this episode with all of my heart. When people talk about Blink, they praise it because it was brilliant even tho the doctor wasn't even in it, well this is brilliant and the doctor isn't in it. This episode is so devastating to watch trough the eyes of a human, the devastation and pain that is caused by the fact that the doctor is not there to save earth is just, you know, devastating. I don't know how to explain how much I love this episode.

★ S04E12-13 "The stolen earth/Journey's end" another beautiful finale from RDT. Not only because it's a beautiful episode but also because we got EVERYONE in this episode, Rose, Jack, Martha, Sarah Jane, Donna, Micky, Jakie literally everyone was there, and it was just beautiful to finally see again some old friends.

★ S05E01 "The Eleventh Hour" this was a perfect introduction to the new doctor, we needed something strong that could make us like him after loosing Tennant, someone that everyone loved, and this episode did it. Matt did and incredible job in this episode, which introduces to Amy and Rory, the crack in time and space and the new doctor. I loved the episode and 11 speech was just phenomenal, really made me like him instantly.

★ S05E02 "The beast below", I guess this can be considered an odd choice, because I never hear anyone talk about this specific episode, but I loved it, it was fun and it also showed us a bit more about the doctor, how he is, what's his moral compass like, how he acts and reacts to things, and also we learned more about Amy. The plot was really interesting and cool, at time a bit creepy but also really sad because of what happened to that whale-thing.

★S05E04-05 "The time of angels/Flesh and stone", I actually have no clue of how people feel about this episode, but I personally really loved them, we got the angels, the crack in time and space, cool moments with River, Amy and the doctor, it was exciting and it was cool, but also a bit emotional at times.

★S05E12-13 "The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang" Moffat showed us that he could make a good finale too. I really loved this finale, it's so exciting and it ties a lot of ends together, which is always cool to see it happen. The Pandorica speech is one of my favourite moments ever and also we got Rory back. Really awesome ending that didn't leave you underwhelmed and it was completely satisfying.

★ S06E01-02 "The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon" is one, if not the best opener ever. It just keeps you hooked and excited, not only for these two episodes, but for the whole season. The episode literally starts with the death of the doctor, and then it introduced a new and cool villain that is the Silence.

★S06E04 "The doctor's wife" is one of the best episodes ever, it has a cool and we'll executed concept, it's really emotional but also cool as hell? And it also has one of my favourite quotes ever "Fear me I've killed hundreds of time lords" "Fear me, I've killed all of them".

★ S06E07 "A Good Man Goes To War" is just PERFECT, the plot twist were brilliant, they left me speechless, I cry and laughed and I just loved the episode. Bonus points because in this episode Rory was a complete badass. It has my favourite doctor who quote of all times

"Demons run when a good man goes to war

Night will fall and drown the sun

When a good man goes to war

Friendship dies and true love lies

Night will fall and the dark will rise

When a good man goes to war

Demons run, but count the cost

The battle's won, but the child is lost"

★ S06E08 "Let's Kill Hitler", from what I saw people don't really love this episode, but I absolutely did love it and this is my list, so here it is.

★S06E10 "The Girl Who Waited" this episode was really devastating but so so beautiful, this is another fan favourite, at least it was before, I haven't heard a lot people talk about it recently. But again, there is a good reason if it is so loved.

★ S06E11 "The God Complex" surprisingly I haven't seen anyone ever talk about this episode even though it absolutely brilliant and spectacular. It's not a really heavy episode, but heavy enough. It's also a bit of a strange episode, but not in a bad way.

★ The day of the doctor/The time of the doctor

★ S08E05 "Time Heist" this is not a really popular episode and I saw a lot of people say that they didn't like it, however I did, probably because I'm a slut for heist movies and this episode combined two things that I love, Doctor Who and Heist Movies.

★ S08E08 "Mummy on the Orient Express", this episode really blew me out of the way, it was just brilliant. I don't even know what to say, it just was.

★ S09E11 "Heaven Sent" (I know I said that two parters would count as one episode but I HATED Hell Bent, I'm not going to get into why or it'll take to long) This episode was probably one the best doctor who episodes ever , the acting was phenomenal, Capaldi is just great, and the plot and dialogue and monologue and plot twist and everything. Even if you don't like doctor who this is episode is great. It has my favourite quote:

"As you come into this world, something else is also born.

You begin your life, and it begins a journey towards you. It moves slowly, but it never stops.

Wherever you go, whatever path you take, it will follow me. Never faster, never slower, always coming.

You will run. It will walk.

You will rest. It will not

One day, you will linger in the same place too long. You will sit too still or sleep too deep, and when, too late, you raise to go, you will notice a second shadow next to yours. Your life will then be over."

★ S10E11 "World Enough And Time" (In this case I did like episode 12 but it wasn't good enough to make it into the list) This episode left me speechless, I really wasn't expecting this episode to be that good. Absolutely loved this episode, it was brilliant.