#i felt so called out the whole time
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oh.
(i reached the tag limit but i do wanna emphasise that im not against feminism and im happy yn didn't just succumb to the trope but i truly wasn't paying attention to the preface and didn't expect such a plot twist and angst and ending so I'm really shaken up because i was expecting something cute and silly and now im in actual physical pain and i need a resolution to this (hopefully a sequel where jaem's a better man and actually loves her) to make me feel better.))
(also omg somi was such a nice person only she knew the real him while all his other friends were nasty fake bitches. she actually cared and knew him even though she wasn't even there most of the time. also I need to know did jaem break up with his friends after the incident or is he still with them senior year? what made him switch his major? also did he ever even actually love her or did he think he did at the time? oh god the pain is getting worse this truly broke me shsjsjsjsj i need to cry I NEED A SEQUEL)
barbie girl.
if life is plastic (and therefore, nonbiodegradable), then it’s so not fantastic. honestly, who came up with that? regina george really should’ve googled about the new plastics economy.
or alternatively, pretty girls rule the world, and you find out that he’s (not) all that.
pairing :: na jaemin x reader genre :: comedy, fluff, angst ⋮ makeover + college au word count :: 24,618 words warnings :: body issues, body image, weight mentions, insecurities, beauty is a social construct, [spoiler] did something bad, people being literal scum, so much gaslighting that you can start a wildfire and j*ke gyll*nh*al should take notes, “if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing” playlist :: pretty boys (romi) ⋆ you can’t sit with us (sunmi) ⋆ i just wanna know (katherine li) ⋆ lie to girls (sabrina carpenter) ⋆ look what you made me do (taylor swift) ⋆ leftover feelings (regina song) ⋆ number one girl (rosé) + extended playlist here. author’s note :: she’s all that is one of my most favorite rom coms ever, but i’ve always been ///: at the whole makeover idea and decided to write my own version !! the idols mentioned in this fic are just characters, and how i portray them in this fic do not reflect how i actually view them or their irl personas. as always, much love to miss lana and miss moon for being my biggest cheerleaders ᥫ᭡ ↳ part of the 𝔯𝔢𝔭𝔲𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 collaboration series.
i. hiya, barbie! hi, ken!
Na Jaemin does not know that you exist.
Good looking, charismatic, and popular — it’s his world, and you’re just living in it. Or something like that. You’re decently smart, somewhat funny, and not pretty enough to stand out, but not exactly hideous according to societal standards (source: those beauty quizzes in Seventeen magazine that you used to be obsessed with when you were thirteen and in desperate need of flirting tips). If he was the main lead, you’d probably be Extra #6, maybe Extra #2 on a good day.
By your calculations, the two of you should never cross paths, like two parallel lines. Wait, scratch that, you would probably never be aligned with anything that has to do with this guy. You saw him standing outside of the door of your shared accounting classroom during your fall semester, and he spent twenty five minutes editing his picture for Instagram and ended up late for the lecture. And he probably already spent even more time selecting the final photo to edit before you arrived to class and noticed him. Absolute idiot. Absolute handsome idiot, but idiot nonetheless. A grade A himbo with a grade C in financial accounting.
Okay, so scrap the parallel lines theory, maybe skew lines are a better way of explaining it. Yeah, that seems about right, the two of you are from completely different dimensions, never meant to interact or run parallel with each other. And once again, by this logic, your paths should never cross.
“Y/N!”
You stand corrected.
Na Jaemin does know that you exist.
Keep reading
#i didnt read the tags and warnings properly and now im broken#this broke me#why does it hurt#i felt so called out the whole time#literally felt the whole life in rose coloured glasses in real time and then felt it as everything broke away oh god#im in physical pain i did not expect it to end in such painful angst#im so happy yn knew her worth and didnt put up with jaem's bs#but i wasnt expecting the angst i really needed him to open his eyes and realize what an asshole he was and then grovel and get together#my brain is not functioning#i was listening to music while reading and i literally had to stop and read in silence because of the disbelief im in#somebody sedate me#this is a masterpiece but please i need a sequel tell me it gets better tell me it stops hurting#tell me jaemin is a changed man that actually deserves and truly loves abd cherishes yn and yn is a badass who knows her worth#and they finally get together as successful adults in the real world#please stop i need this sequel it cant end like this#im actually crashing out in real time i wasnt expecting angst and i wasnt expecting it to end like that#this is not real life this is fantasy so i need them to get together#they love each other... right?#please im going crazy why has this actually broken me#i cried#how do i move on from this#what if i can never read another work of this creator's because im too scared i dont pay attention to the tags n summary n end up like this#oh jaemin#i cant look at barbie and ken the same again#this broke me truly#im so sad#send help#need cute soft fluffy HAPPY comfort nana after this#i cant stop tagging im going crazy you dont understand#NO BECAUSE I REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE CUTE SILLY FUN LIKE ITS CALLED BARBIE GIRL BUT IM SOBBING WTF THIS WAS EVIL
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Holy crap this is like world record breaking pace guys
Speedrun/Time Travel AU masterlist
#speedrun au#one piece#time travel au#op fanart#sabo#monkey d. luffy#portgas d. ace#asl brothers#time travel aus are my favourite trope for any fandom's fanfic#but this especially is why i want it for one piece#because I needed ace to die in canon. luffy NEEDED to get that wake up call and his whole crew NEEDED badly to get stronger#but ace is so much more than just a plot device for luffy... he was a person who was loved by so many people because#he made so many people happy#if luffy and his crew travelled back in time... they wouldn't need to worry anymore about their strength#Ace could live you know....#He could meet sabo while he was an adult#sabo could meet ACE while he was an adult#ALSO SIDE NOTE BUT SABO ALSO REMEMBERS THE TIME TRAVEL SHENANIGANS!!! but def not as well as any of the strawhats#i think the thing he remembers most is what he felt when he regained his memories in the first timeline#u guys... this comic was so vivid in my mind i HAD to draw it out... like i was planning on doin other time travel au comics before#but like I HAD to draw this because i had such intense ASL feelings#I tried to think if Ace would just start cussing sabo out cause like WHY DID YOU LET US THING U WERE DEAD ; - ;??? WHY DIDNT U CONTACT US??#but i think ace is really tired... like he's been worrying about luffy... and suddenly his brother starts uncharacteristically start#full out bawling in his arms... and he's really confused right now but both of his brothers are here and they're both crying#so there's really only one thing he can do#anyways i hope u enjoyed the comic#op spoilers#<- oops forgot to add that my b
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Vanessa Doodles before work™️
My interpretation of canon Vanessa + her w Snatcher + Someone wanted to hug he <3
#a hat in time#not really an au but ya know not really canon lol#ahit vanessa#ahit snatcher#queen vanessa#demondoodles#my art#ahit#snatcher#my beautiful queen waaaaah#the noodle loser guy <3#the hold she has on me should be studied i swear jssjnwwn#anyways yeah#i know her having a shorter dress makes sense in the context of her wanting to be called princess but#I like long dresses :]#my hc is after the whole freezing she chilled out and felt guilt for some time but then she grew to not care as nobody wanted her apologies#so why bother right?#she and snatcher reconnected and they still dislike each other but still gossip over tea and murdering intruders <3#Vanessa: Can I talk to you like a girl friend for minute#Snatcher: Ya sure give me a sec#Snatcher: Heeey girlie men ain't shit#They have a very complicated situationship but they're essentially stuck together so might as well deal w it lol#I imagine Vanessa wouldn't care about his relationship status but he would be jealous over hers#a mix of 'She doesn’t deserve to move on from ME after what she did to me' and 'I am normal about my ex I swear but-'#He and Van get together for tea and watching 50 kids competing for their amusement lol
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sorry for a big post but i just found those again recently
huge throwback to these little things i did while bored out of my mind between calls on my tech support job i had in 2017 🌞 the phrases are whatever i could think of at the moment, from phrases i heard on calls to what i saw in google search to personal observations...
i did these with a mouse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i have not been able to replicate this style since. it will forever stay there, on that imac with that weird apple mouse and a random art app i downloaded that they later locked me out of bcs u know ur not supposed to download third party apps on work computers but i was also not allowed to have paper like what are yououuuu expecting me to do GOD i hated that place they made me work for 6 days in a row then ONE (1) ☝ day off and then SIX MORE DAYS AGAIN with sometimes less than 12 hours between shifts but i was young and stupid and didnt complain. this went on longer than i thought it would.
I was also (unsurprisingly) sososososososo depressed and this song was a big comfort (and hey, its an english one for once!)
Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List
E-sims donation
bonus thing i like but it didnt fit in with the rest of them
not. translating everything but if u really really want to know feel free to shoot me an ask i suppose. russian knowers will find some of these funny tho. esp the всё понял, иду нахуй (it was a positive customer review on one of the calls our trainer told us abt LMAO)
#kunst huli#how do i even tag these 🧍♂️#art#??????#lineart#i dont fucking know#flowers#animals#insects#man i dontttttt know tagging things is such a chore#i tried to put them in as much of a chronological order as i could but u know its hard to remember. the sloppier ones r def earlier tho#but they have their charm#i miss it sometimes. ive tried to recreate the brush in photyshop but never quite could#the pixelation-but-not-quite is so hard to capture#and i dont remember which program it was that i downloaded#it was apple only anyway so fuck that#a certain nostalgy about a time that was so bad for me i guess is weird to have#but that song will forever remain very special to me#its kind of not. comforting? technically?#but it helped. i dont know#anyway tried to get another call center job recently n had a trauma response after just 3 hours on the line so👍#hated the place anyway so nothing lost#for THAT paycheck?? get the fuck out of here#but thats a whole another story. what is it with call centers n terrible scheduling skills anyway...#oh wait i know how to describe the feeling.#its close to what i felt playing disco elysium sdSDFSDF
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Give me five whole minutes.
Credits: Me
#I sobbed like a baby during Missing Limbs but I didn't expect the end of Euclid to catch me so bad#but hearing that line. hearing that *song* that has constantly ran rampant in my mind. That I've held so close to my chest? Amazing#absolutely fucking amazing#let alone getting to sing it along with 20k other people#the Espera sounded gorgeous Vessel sounded gorgeous and ii iii and IV played wonderfully well#(about to be a bit vunerable so bear with me)#I said in one of my other posts that 'I think my soul came out of my body for a bit' and I mean that whole heartedly. because this is where#call it an extreme reaction but I felt all my blood go out of my fingers and just this. humungous weight peeling itself off of my shoulders#I jokingly call myself a cockroach a lot because I tend to have bitterly bad luck and just try my best to get back up after it and this jus#I'm describing as I go and it's the hardest thing to illustrate#I felt welcomed. like the warm feeling when you come home and the heatings on in Winter#never will I ever fully be able to execute the thanks I have for what this band has done for me#for what you guys in this community have done for me#this felt like a peak and I think I'll forever being going upwards from here. this and you guys have made the climb so much easier#perhaps the appropriate time to simply say 'worship'#mel's rambles#mel's photos#sleep token#st#teeth of god tour#tog tour#vessel#vessel sleep token#euclid#song euclid#tmbte#sleep token tmbte#take me back to eden#+ again. kindly ignore me crying and singing
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a slight continuation of this
no caller ID pops on your screen, pulling your attention away from your previous task at hand: not fucking up your eyeliner. you typically wouldn’t care if it was a little uneven, but you’re going on a date tonight, for the first time in so long, and you want everything to go as smoothly as possible.
which is why you groan when you end the call, and that same no caller ID pops right back up seconds later. you know who it is—who else would it be? you figured he’s already seen your story of being excited for going on your first date in a while, on the only app you hadn’t blocked him on. petty? perhaps, but it’s on him to be keeping up with you despite you cursing him out for wasting your time and then blocking him right after.
you watch it ring though, contemplating for a while longer than you should. you blocked him for a reason. no need to entertain his same shit that he always spews to you when he realizes that he might be losing you once more?
….but it doesn’t hurt to hear the hero beg for you.
“What do you want, Bakugou?” You sigh irritably as you finally answer his call, putting him on speaker as you go back to even out your eyeliner. You hear him huff on the other side of the phone at the use of his surname, but he doesn’t say anything about it, instead, quickly telling you what he’s been bothering you for.
“Who’s the fuckin’ loser that’s gonna drool over how good your tits look in that stupid green dress you love so much?” Bakugou grunts, and you instantly feel your face heating at his crude words. You glance over with a frown at that same green dress that makes your tits look good, where it hangs on your closet.
“None of your damn business, Bakugou.” You snap at him, wondering if it’s too late to find something else to wear. “Not like you ever took me out in my stupid green dress.” Your voice holds a level of bitterness that only he can bring out of you, and you hear his sigh through the speakers.
“I told you this before, I’m always—”
“Busy.” You cut him off, voice suddenly thick as you think back on the countless rejections he’s splattered at your feet every time you tried to further your relationship with him. “You reminded me of how busy you’ve been since you first started this whole situationship.”
“Situation—? Huh? We were dating!” Bakugou protests with a huff, and you can hear how he paces the floor quickly. You glare at your phone, setting down your liner to instead pick of your (his) favorite lipgloss.
“You’d have to ask me out to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to court me to be dating, Bakugou. You’d have to make time for me and take me out on dates and not hide me to fucking date me, Bakugou.” You spit at him, venom dripping off of your lips in waves. You don’t know why you answered, why you even entertained him. You shake your head with a huff when the line goes quiet, eyebrows quirking up when your date sends you a text to make sure you’re still on for tonight.
“I’m sorry.” Bakugou mutters pathetically, his voice suddenly soft. You hesitate, for some reason, when it comes to texting your date back. Why do you always hesitate when Bakugou is around?
“Let me make it up to you, court you, and shit. I can take you to one of my favorite places, you can wear that pretty green dress and that gloss you know I love.” His voice is pleading, thickening and sweet and suffocating. You shouldn’t respond, should reply back a yes to your date.
“Please? You know how much you mean to me.” Bakugou mumbles, and you can hear the earnestness in his voice. Why haven’t you said yes to your date yet?
“I’ll do better this time. Just one more chance, sweetheart.” Bakugou’s voice is so soft, you’ve never heard him this vulnerable before. You sigh with a shake of your head, slumping back into your seat in defeat.
…
Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. Something came up. Maybe we can reschedule for another time?
#sorry this is kinda angsty lol#but I saw this tt earlier where this girl was so giddy bc ‘no caller id’ called LOL#and it just reminded me of the first part to this#at first he’s all ‘no we can’t date bc of xyz bullshit reason’#but the moment you’re like ‘I’m done w this toxic back n forth we’re not even a couple’#he’s like WE WERE TOGETHER THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!#delusion is what I like to call it#also he definitely takes you out to a place that’s very secluded and exclusive#to shut you up for the time being#the whole ‘at least I took you out!’ shtick#I hate him actually#but the toxic hate sex goes crazy ☝🏻#okay gn I’m sleepy and I felt so shitty today#or yesterday#so I’m hoping today will be better#maybe I’ll mediate before I start on my work#I wanna go on a walk sometime this week bc it’s gonna be great weather but my anxiety keeps telling me#that one of the stray cats or foxes is gonna attack me AKSJDKDJDJD#omg does anyone remember me talking about that calico kitty in my backyard at one point???#I haven’t seen her since and I hope she’s okay :( we miss her :(#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#bakugou treats! 🍬
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if i see one more post about how solas/mythal/elgar'nan had a weird love triangle thing going on i'm gonna scream
#probably gonna annoy some people by saying this#but i think it is really telling that taash's response 'they were doin' it'#is positioned in a way that strongly implies it's the immature response to take#not to say i'm 100% right bc they left it deliberately vague for a reason#you're meant to make up your own mind#and i personally do not see this as a stupid love triangle bc a. i fucking hate love triangle plots they're overdone and boring#and b. it's stated multiple times that the ancient elves felt things in different ways that can't be fully understood by mortals#so deducing that it was a romantic bond is an oversimplification of something that's actually very abstract#falon'din and dirthamen were called both twins and lovers by legends but it turned out to be neither of those things#they were just one spirit split into two#the only two that i think were actually romantically involved were ghil and andruil bc it's stated that they fell in love in the abyss#and there are statues of them naked holding hands apparently#we didn't get enough info about sylaise and june to really say much about their relationship#the actual regret memory of solas and mythal meeting in secret#is the memory that the inquisitor gives to rook#and it appeared after the ritual was interrupted and solas killed varric#when varric told him to stop#when varric expressed his love for his friend and died for it#the parallel is not of lovers but of solas taking mythal's place and varric taking his#ugh i'm just so uncomfortable with the solas/mythal romance stuff#like it actually nauseates me#not out of jealousy but bc his whole story is him dealing with the horrific trauma bond he formed with her#and those are so often borne from family bonds#like mythal is just one big mother wound to solas#i honestly think if they were lovers they would just state it as such#but people have a hard time imagining devotion as being anything other than romantic ig#sad bc platonic relationships can sometimes be more intense than romantic ones
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Imma do this final vent and then I’ll shut up about it.
This was a dumb move, from every possible perspective.
In the og goodbye video, they really made it sound like they were doing the streaming service because they wanted to go bigger, make cooler videos, really see what they could do and let their creative vision take the lead.
Growing as an artist is what you do when you Already Have The Money To Do So. You don’t tell your audience “give me money and then I will use to it to make cooler bigger things”. That’s not a streaming service, that’s a kickstarter.
They didn’t have the numbers to pull a streaming service off either. “We think we’re ready for television quality content” no you don’t. Sorry, no you do not. Television quality content means 30-50 crew per project, means at least 4-5 production being worked on at the same time, and at least 4-5 productions being broadcast at the same time. Watcher has maybe 2 series they upload simultaneously and they have 25 employees TOTAL. Not even CLOSE to tv levels of content, who the fuck do you think you are???
Did they really think all 3 million of their subscribers were going to follow them on this? Including kids, whose spending is dependent on their parents? Including the casuals, who only subscribed for the occasional video? Including people for whom $6 dollars on another streaming service just isn’t an option? Why DIDN’T they poll this, was this being a surprise really that important??
AND why would you completely cut off another revenue? Even if YouTube is restrictive, it’s still another source of income. Cutting that off completely is… bold.
Especially since in the apology, they let it slip that no, actually, it’s because Watcher is on the brink of having to close up shop because they’re not making enough money with just the patreon, the merch sales, the ad reads, etc.
So… one of those is a lie. Or at least part of the truth.
But let’s assume they are in financial trouble, then this was still the dumbest they could’ve done.
Welcome to the entertainment industry where we follow 1 giant fucking rule: Kill Your Darlings.
Fellas, pals, amigos, bros, dudes. If your projects spend more than what they make, it’s time to downsize. Not upscale. Cut the shit that’s spending the most money, start concentrating on how you can conserve without having to fire your crew. Put the projects where you have to fly out and buy new stuff all the time on the back burner, you can get back to them once you actually have the money for them. Work with what you already have. You have a MASSIVE studio space, fuckin use it. You HAVE sets, you HAVE props, you HAVE talent and you have ideas. Start workshopping all the crazy and shit ideas you thought weren’t gonna work and start thinking how you could make them work with the lowest possible budget you can have. Your audience is there, they’ll watch whatever you throw at them. Now is the time to go crazy and see what sticks. You HAVE viewership. Collab. CONSTANTLY. Get it the fuck out there that you exist. A lot of people had no idea a patreon existed, mention it ALL THE TIME. To the point that it becomes annoying. Do it!
If your studio is becoming too expensive, get rid of it. Sorry, kill your darlings. Move some shit around in Steven Lim’s tesla garage, put up some green screens, this is where you work now until you can afford a studio in LA again, you dipshits. Editors can work from home, sound designers can work from home, writers and researchers can work from home, meetings can happen in someone’s kitchen or living room.
And finally: be transparent. Be honest to your audience and communicate. “We’re sorry to put Ghost Files on hiatus, however we can no longer justify the cost of traveling to locations.” The majority of your audience will understand and show patience. The part of your audience that matters will wait and enjoy your other wacky shit in the meantime. Hell, they might spontaneously start their own kickstarter because those who can, will want to support you financially, if you’re just hONEST WITH THEM.
As a business, you constantly have to choose between your financial stability and that of your employees, your vision and the future of your company and what you Want to do with it, and your integrity, the trust between you and your audience. (Especially that last one, businesses can’t pretend they don’t have a relationship with their audience, that’s not how business works, guys.)
When you’re in financial straits, one of those has to go. Watcher chose the latter, they should’ve picked the middle. Their grand television quality ideas can fucking wait, if money is a problem.
Look, I’m an artist too. I had a vision too. But it was either my creative vision or being able to afford food and rent. Creativity can wait, creativity will always be there once I can support it. Living comes ALWAYS first. Asking my audience to fund my huge artistic dreams though, with only the promise of something cool, NEVER even crossed my fucking mind. That’s what donations are for, that’s what the patreon is for.
They apologised. And good. But this was a dumb decision from the goddamn start. There were like 500 steps in between and they skipped all of it. And for what? For money? For grand ideas? For greed or for hubris? How many of their original subscribers are actually gonna come back? How much money did they lose with this stunt? If they really are in financial trouble, this MASSIVE risk -which is what it has always been- might just be their downfall. And it’d be 100% their own fucking fault.
#Watcher#Ok that’s ACTUALLY the last time i talk about this i need to move on#I dunno why this played in my mind so much#No i do know: it was boredom#But even as an outsider to whole streaming service just Felt Gross#And as someone who’s worked in the entertainment industry… i just.. SAW all the red flags#And it’s BAFFLING none of the so-called professionals at watcher entertainment stopped this#Or maybe that’s the hubris of the ceo’s talking who tf knows at this point#Anyway all of this was playing in my mind and i had to type it out to get my brain to hopefully shut up#Imma pirate some fucking tv shows now#If paying for it isn’t owning it then pirating isn’t stealing#Long post#like LONG-ASS FUCKIN POST
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PLEASE COULD WE MAYBE GET LIKE A VIBE OF WHAT THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF SETTLE OUR BONES IS GOING TO BE ABOUT NO PRESSURE JUST CURIOUS
The vibe is it’s kicking my ass 😂
#it’s a collab with batmoniker!#it’s set in Sept/Oct ish#after school starts up again#and it involves some Proper Comic Book stuff#no one throws up in it so I should get points for that!!#a few days ago I got so frustrated trying to work out the logistics in one scene that I cried a little#then felt very dumb bc I’m a grown woman and this is fanfic#then called batmoniker in a panic like listen what if we just scrap the whole fic#and she was like orrrrr#we could NOT do that and just delete the part that isn’t working#and I was like ‘but it would be so satisfying to just delete everything‘#and she’s like ‘I support you but……maybe just try this first’#ANYWAY it started sort of coming together today#and I THINK it’s somewhat steering in the right direction#it’s got a TON of pov shifting#including one bit that’s outsider POV#and that makes it quite a challenge#I’m currently on an Alfred section#it has more action than I generally write#but there will still be a good bit of hurt/comfort bc I’m still me#batmoniker and I came up with this idea like 3 years ago while slightly drunk the first time we ever met up irl#so that’s the vibe#and if this fic ever sees the light of day it will be 100% thanks to batmoniker#settle our bones
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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day 5 - la sodieux ft. grumpuses?!?!
yeah i couldn't resist. i thought of this scene and i could not get it out of my head. the other image is la sodieux stuck after someone (probably floofty) put it like that D:
#this is my first time properly drawing grumpuses. like whole and with colors#i tried to give floofty those. digitigrade legs? i think they're called? idk but like not human legs. but i think i messed that up lmao#well whatever. i actually really like how this one turned out :D#i like how i drew la sodieux too :D#also i just realized i was so busy yesterday i forgot to shade sweetiefly.. maybe that's why i felt like it looked a little silly#bugsnax#la sodieux#bugsnax la sodieux#bugsnax journalist#floofty fizzlebean
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Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´;ω;`)
#I'm late...#I'm sorry I wasn't able to watch the episode by time last week but again. Food poisoning. And then the new chapter came out#I feel like I had much more to say when I started watching it last week...#Mmmmhh. I really like when bsd animation uses the colored lineart effect for flashbacks / subspaces (Anne's Room‚ Poe's books).#I think it's one of the prettiest and most original things of the bsd animation.#I've always felt like the Natsume reveal was a bit coming out of nowhere lol.#Here's this legendary ability user everyone knows but no one has ever seen with this immensely unthinkable powerful ability...#That the reader literally wasn't ever made aware of in the previous 49 chapters lol#After all that build up‚ his ability even feels a little underwhelming.#Which I suppose was the intended result‚ but I'm not sure it really works all that well in the end.#Then Naomi's words “Come to think of it‚ the things that happen when Mii-chan vanishes [...]‚ disasters are stopped every time”#really feel soooo out of place when so-called Mii-chan was never before mentioned up to this episode (╥﹏╥)#But I'll stop complaining. It's nothing big really#Fukuzawa and Mori's relationship is very homoerotic. Tbh#I looooove the ss/kk I don't even have much to say just watching scenes of them interacting together fills my heart of a warm feeling :')#The animation quality is very poor and the drawings are very undetailed but really I love ss/kk too much to care.#A lot of emphasis is put by the fandom on Atsushi's cruel remark towards Akutagawa in this ch/ep and it *is* cruel but really...#Akutagawa had literally just attacked Atsushi in a death-threatening way‚ futilely and completely unprompted#I can't find it in myself to blame Atsushi if he was irritated and lashed out at him.#And all their other moments are just so cute. What do you mean Akutagawa is deeply interested in understanding Atsushi's motivations.#What do you mean Atsushi can't get Akutagawa out of his mind!!!! They're so cute#So many more cute moments were cut out too rip lawnmower line you'll always be missed rip date line you'll always be missed#I feel like Pushkin's character is another instance of‚‚‚ Wow me and the author's morals really don't align at all#I really don't like the narrative of “weaker people will constantly try to harm and take advantage of strongest ones”#random rambles#Fun fact when I watched this episode for the first time I asked my mother to join me. Because I know a ss/kk scene was coming and I really–#didn't want to watch it alone. Well as it turned out the whole first half of the episode was dedicated to old man fighting–#and she gave up after that 😂😂 But I'm still grateful to her for trying.
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Alex Forbes will never forget how much he yearned to hold Nigel Colbie on their wedding night. He wanted to taste his skin, temptation thumping in his veins, his hands were itching to pin him down, see his whole weight pressure the life off of Nigel's wrists, wanting to see the lines he'd leave on his skin, the way his parched throat is seeking his heavenly waters: He felt like a lecherous teenage boy. But for all he knows, he cannot wait to be one with his beloved Maraclea.
#murderous intent#like minds 2006#like minds#alex forbes#nigel colbie#nigel colbie x alex forbes#alex forbes x nigel colbie#Alex felt so stupid the whole day. He never expected for himself to be so enamoured by an enigmatic boy.#Heck. He never expected to run away from the ONLY world he's ever known just to be with Nigel Colbie.#Away from everyone. Away from harm. NO ONE will ever bother them. No one will make Nigel Colbie pay for his grievances against his parents.#Nor Susan.#and Alex wouldn't be orchestrized by his father's rules and expectations anymore. Wouldn't be reminded of the hell hole he was once in.#Their old life was nothing but a husk of what it once was.#Nothing more.#So. When the night had settled in. The time struck at 12MN. Alex Forbes was restless.#He will never know what to do the moment Nigel will call out for him. Purr his name. chant it like an oath. He'd probably give in.#But when that moment came. He didn't expect for Nigel Colbie to wear something from something they've left behind.#Helen's nightgown. That night at the Colbie's. It was in pristine condition. except from the hole in the middle.#Nigel Colbie is a man filled with surprises. he doesn't know how he procured his deceased Mother's night gown but the emotions in him ->#prevented him from thinking straight. He's irritated. Confused. aroused: It's a cacophony of emotions he'll never ever be able to name.#Nigel's reason? He wanted Alex to realize that this is what Susan would've done for him. pliant and obedient.#Of course I won't make this long but I'm pretty sure Nigel enjoyed riling Alex up. and Alex had disposed of the nightgown afterwards.#goodbye#THIS IS OOC SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME#I WAS VIBIN
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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ily bakugou katsuki u are the only thing that hasn't pissed me off today
#today i was basically told that i have to take all of my breaks at work back to back to back within one hour two hours after i clock in#which means that i don't get a break at all later during the night so i don't fucking Want that but i have no other choice because#i'm basically being cornered into doing it by one of the managers who texted my department lead and said i tried to get someone to#cover me for my break at “almost 7 when everyone is going home” which is a fucking lie i asked at 6#who the fuck wants to take all of their breaks in one hour two hours after they start their eight hour shift#i asked for someone to cover me at 6 because i had to use the bathroom really fucking badly and she was like#“why didn't you take them while the midshift was here” the midshift has a three hour overlap with my shift and i have to be clocked in#for at least two hours before i take any breaks at all and i don't want to take all of my breaks at once that soon#ONE HOUR BEFORE MY COWORKER LEAVES#and like we both have stuff to do????#all three breaks two hours into my shift then nothing for the next six fucking hours funniest joke i've ever heard in my entire life#except it's not a joke because it's from a manager so if i don't do this stupid ass shit i could get disciplined or fired#because they don't want to send anyone to cover for me#you know what's even funnier? i am the ONLY PERSON scheduled for these fucking 2-10 shifts except for our full time guy#my other coworkers? 4-10. i don't want this fucking 2-10 shift get me the fuck OFF OF IT#EATS MY ENTIRE FUCKING DAY#i woke up at 8:30am this morning and it still felt like my entire goddamn day was stolen from me because i wake up have time to myself for#about 5 hours out of my whole day then i have to get ready and get my ass to work until the end of the fucking day#tag rant#tag vent#bakugou katsuki#i feel like this is something i should call my union rep about but idk
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i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry
#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad#i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad#trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself#idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out#but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it#i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk#like i’m not even supposed to know he existed#idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists#me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised#idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid#it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad#every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me#and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could#him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar#so i know he must have been special too#i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once#but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine#so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind#and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that#i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up#nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again#i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself#and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time#but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way#i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it#he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker#i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like#he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead#he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will
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