#i felt like i needed to add her
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the modern/band au i keep threatening to write but doodled instead
#dragon age 2#dragon age#isabela#merrill#anders#fenris#my art#char avis hawke#da2 band au#im really proud of how anders specifically turned out ifeel like i can never get him the way i want to#but dont ask me whats going on w fenris lmao#i shaded hawke and only hawke#she came in from a different file lmao#i felt like i needed to add her
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me: finally accepting theres a good chance im autistic and starting to work up the courage to ask my parents to see if i could get a diagnoses but being scared to
my mom: do you ever think you have adhd? if you want to do a screening for add next time your at the doctors you can
me:
#for context im terrified of being the person who sees stuff online and diagnosis themselves and then is wrong#which is why it took me so long to accept im —probably— autistic (bc now i have done research and stuff for it)#and id see adhd things that were relatable but i felt i related more to the autism + self diagnosing both felt weird (for me not in general#but now like. my mom is willing to accept i might have add??#(there was a long talk in between her asking if i ever thought i had it and her saying i could get a screening where we both agreed that#—if i did have it— i didnt have the hyperactive part. hence the add vs adhd thing)#and now that kinda through off my plans because like. what if i do also had adhd. or something#so yeah small crisis woo#i need to actually look i to symptoms and stuff for adhd though#because im not saying anything til i know more about it and if i actually do have a lot of the things#but this also gives me a chance go write about the autism things as well bc i told my mom i would look into the adhd#so now i can hopefully find a way to bring that up#ive mentioned that autism is a spectrum recently which i didnt think she knew before#so progress i guess#wow long rant in the tags whoops#jasper’s posts#moots have some jaz lore i guess
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Caretaker wrapped their arms around the emotionally devastated Whumpee, "I will hold you together," Caretaker muttered, cradling the back of Whumpee's head, "Even as the world tries to tear you apart, I will hold you together."
"How cruel," Caretaker thought to themself. "How evil of the universe to hurt you so unjustly like this. To rip away the happiness you deserve. For no other reason than the fact that it just... can."
"I will hold you together..."
"Then I will return what is rightfully yours."
#idfk what this is tbh. but the lines in the first paragraph felt like a good prompt so I wanted to share. then my brain decided to go and#add a lil more cuz why not lol.#anygay-- any proseka players in here? you know mizuki5? ...yep-- that's what inspired this. hold the fucking line for her. hug her tight.#she fucking needs all the fucking hugs rn. classmate a... *cocks shotgun* see you soon. hope Ena kicks him in the balls next n25 event <3#potential soup#whump prompt#whump prompts#angst#hurt/comfort#caretaker#whumpee#whumpblr#whump
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please i am BEGGING for you to drop the other roleswap champion designs,,, i had no idea how hard cynthia would slay in lance’s fit and my animal brain is now starving for roleswap steven and lance if you ever feel confident enough to post them,,,,,;
[insert meme of guy on his hands and knees offering a wad of fanned-out dollar bills here]
TY JUST FOR YOU ANON…. i redrew my old designs. I still cant figure out stevens design but this will do
Just for fun ill throw my old designs/brainstorming under a read more too!
This is a year old. Theyre so ugly. Okay
#he looks like steven stone if he had pronouns#anyway. wehhe.#didnt know if i should make a new post or just put the art under the ask ohhh welll#art tag#pokemon#i need a prper ask answering tag…… meh#minty rambles#champion lance#champion steven stone#i wont tag cynth shes not even here. shes here in spirit#to the other anon in my ask box…… im a tiny bit busy bit ill get to u. promise. i gotchu#ty for the ask!!!!!!!! deadass these designs wouldnt have seen the light pf day if u didnt ask i forgot the second i posted that cynthia#shout out to everyone tagging the cynthia art as teef. very common opinion. and the people calling her hot#lucky you didnt catch my in the height of my champion craze i could be SO insufferable rn. im a litle normal.#ill post this to twit but idk if i should now bc everyone asleep…. i could bump it in the morning…. hmm………#also ill be dead honest i got rid of lances littl ehair thing bc i thought hed look way too much like kuro enstars </3333#and bc i managed to draw his hairline and felt rly proud#okay bye bye. byyyyye#steven stone#girl has a full name i dont need to add champion. okay#ask tag
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do you have your own design of Nim?
Not really- or at least fully. Nim is harder to pinpoint a character design for in any sense bc she doesn't really come from the Undertale multiverse. she has little visual connection to either Nightmare and Dream. Here is a first attempt that is inspired by her cannon design. I'm not fond of it (also I don't really give skeleton characters hair in my designs but I couldn't get the idea of tree as hair out of my head. I know her hair is canonically straight but just give me this-)
#my art#utmv#kitt answers#nim dreamtale#If yall have any suggestions to add for her design please share : D#I tried to make her bandana look like leaves#also i know she has one horn but 2 felt right okey#maybe hc her as a shapeshifter?#thats kinda what i do with Dream and NM#god i really need to work on her design#nim give me strenght lmao#lots of interesting ifo on her in the wiki
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Alastor feels more like Niffty's dad then Charlie's tbh
#he also feels more like Niffty's dad then Husk and Angel do#like. angel is just a mom friend and husk has eternal grandpa vibes. does not make either of them parents#also my previous statement still stands: if you infantalize Niffty Im adding your scapula to my collection#<- felt the need to add this because discussing who seems like a father figure to her can very well dip into “Niffty is a child” territory#and I don't want to imply she is a child#Im tag rambling again fuck-#anyways adults can benifit from parental figures too smthn smthn Alastor is Niffty's father figure and if u disagree u are simply. stoopid?#hazbin hotel#hazbin alastor#hazbin niffty#charlie morningstar
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Compilation of the leaks in one place for my own sanity
also big reminder that they're all prototypes and things might change
especially Catty since the one on the left is a very early proto and her final doll (on the right) will look closer to her concept art with better proportions and more concept accurate dress
#monster high#mh leaks#anyway i love them all💕#they're all stunning even the unfinished catty#i felt the need to add the reminder because i saw people being mean about her#as if it's the finished product like beastie use your eyes she literally has drawn on hair in the first one😭
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source: ATLA - "Bato of the Water Tribe"
#atla#avatar: the last airbender#prince zuko#katara#sokka#screw the ship wars but i adore when animation adds to the visual aspect#the creators didn't need to make this blink-and-you-will-miss scene but they bothered to make the sequence more dynamic#like katara slowly falling from the beast and zuko holding her/grabing her clothes to prevent it#because he apparently kept an eye on the captured avatar's friends and/or felt katara's body is sliping down when animal was in motion#because riding the beast is not easy and the animal moves in very dynamic way#small thing but it adds a lot to the feeling of the scene and characters
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@wolfstarmicrofic May 5 - prompt 5: Awful First Meeting [word count 676]
Remus was having a bad morning. He already didn’t like early shifts, but that morning he had overslept, had ran all the way to the café because there had been no buses in sight, had grabbed the first apron he had found and had dived head first right in the middle of three whole field trip classes of teenagers and their caffeine-starved teachers. Then he had barely had the time to wipe the counter and register how hot the guy who had just pushed the café door open was, with his leather jacket with a pride pin on it and his bike helmet under his arm when then man had made a beeline for him, taken one look at his apron and had started shouting at him.
“My friend can very well defend herself, but I’m here to make sure you will never dare to creep on her or any other girl who comes here!” the stranger waved a finger in Remus’s face. “And you’re on the clock, what are you doing, using your paid time to creep up on girls?!”
Remus opened his mouth to say he was very, very gay and in any case he wouldn’t dream of being a creep to anyone, but the stranger was on a roll.
“When someone says no, it’s no, it’s a full sentence! There’s no ‘why’ or ‘but’ or whatever! If she ever comes back here I want you to stay away from her! Don’t talk to her, don’t look at her, don’t even breathe in her direction! Actually, you’d better not talk to any girl or woman who comes in here, am I making myself clear, Severus?!”
Remus blinked, staring at the hot guy who was now catching his breath, then he looked down at the badge pinned on his apron and groaned seeing it said Severus - Happy to help, which was quite hilarious since Severus had never been happy to help in his four months at the café.
“Well?” the stranger glared at him.
Remus removed the pin from his apron and tossed it in a nearby bin with a grimace.
“Sorry,” he said then. “I’m not him. He used to work here, but he got fired just yesterday and I must’ve gotten his apron by mistake coming in this morning.”
The guy frowned.
“How do I know you’re not lying to save your ass?” he asked.
Remus knew he didn’t have to prove anything, but even glaring and shouting the stranger was so insanely hot he would’ve kicked himself if he let him think he was a creep. So he reached in his back pocket and handed him his battered wallet, the pride pin on it well on display.
“My ID’s in it.”
The stranger shot him a puzzled look and had a look inside, his expression immediately turning from anger to horror.
“Shit, I’m so sorry!” he handed back the wallet. “I looked at your name tag and thought it was you, I’m really sorry!”
“Don’t be, I was wearing the wrong name tag after all,” Remus smiled. “And you defending your friend was quite endearing. You can tell her Severus was kicked out when the manager caught him being a creep to his sister.”
“Good,” the stranger nodded. “So your name’s Remus then?”
Remus nodded, the guy smiled and he somehow became even hotter just like that.
“I’m Sirius,” he said. “When do you get off work, Remus? I’d like to buy you a drink as a proper apology.”
“Only as an apology?” Remus smiled.
“Well, not only that,” Sirius grinned. “When I saw the name tag my first thought was why are the hot ones always arseholes.”
“I’m off in an hour,” Remus laughed. “And I promise I’m not an arsehole.”
“I’ll wait right outside for you then. I have a spare helmet,” Sirius smiled. “And I can be an arsehole, but only when you’re mean to my friends.”
Remus kept smiling as Sirius walked out and he gathered empty mugs to clean. Maybe that morning wasn’t so bad after all.
#look at me writing my first coffee shop au here#also yes I do hate Snape thank you for noticing#also also Lily doesn't need anyone to defend her let's be clear#Sirius just felt he needed to add on the crap she put the creep through as well#and the pride pin placement is based on my own#wolfstar#wolfstar microfic#remus lupin#sirius black#remus x sirius#sirius x remus#marauders#marauders era#modern marauders#coffee shop au#the marauders#the marauders era#just writing (like i'm supposed to live)
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Basically, TLDR i saw a fake screenshot on TikTok showing Amy in the Knuckles series and it got me thinking about how she... doesn't quite fit in the movieverse yet...
So here is my long rant about why it would be bad for her to join in Movie 3 and she should be saved for a future installment.
to preface: I DO NOT HATE AMY OR HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST HER. I think shes wonderful and shes literally a main character so shes very important obviously.
First, the elephant in the room. Shadow the Hedgehog. One of, if not THE most, complex character in the Sonic franchise, let alone in the main expanded cast. Having to introduce, and illude to, aspects of Shadow’s backstory (his relationship with Maria and Gerald, The ARK, how he was made, and the fallout) and his future (returning with amnesia in his next appearance, potentially introducing the Black Arms and some of the Heroes and Shad05 story beats that are important who he becomes) in about an hour and a half to 2 hours. I just don’t see how it would be a good idea to introduce a core member of Sonic’s friends into the movie series when she could be introduced later so that Shadow has more of a time to shine, and Amy can too later on.
Historically, Amy’s talk to Shadow to remind him of his promise to Maria has been filled in by another character when the plot called for it. In Sonic X, during its own adaptation of SA2, Chris spoke to Shadow to try and help him remember his real purpose and talk sense into him. While it didn't exactly work out, it shows that this role could be interchangable in SEGA’s eyes. I propose a similar story, using Tom’s niece Jojo. Being a character who is around Maria’s age and doesn’t have a complete character behind her as of now, this could be a more meaningful way for Shadow to realise his purpose and remember his promise. Hearing the words from someone who is like Maria (a young girl who cares about Earth) would be more impactful to him. I can see any human character taking up this role though, but Jojo would be the best candidate, due to her simiarities to Maria.
However, while not introducing another new character could be good for not overcrowding the movie with new arcs and introductions involving them, I could see this working for one character; Rouge the Bat. She was introduced along with Shadow in SA2, which is immediately a good sign, as their plots intertwine with each other. They both work with Eggman, until they turn the focus on saving the world. Rouge is one of Shadow’s closest companions going forward, and has her own arc too. She is the one who frees Shadow in Heroes, and rekindles their friendship there.
Rouge also could connect back to the previous movie. Being a jewel thief at heart, she goes after the Master Emerald, but in Movieverse its destroyed and the Chaos Emeralds are retrieved from it. She is established as being the Rival to Knuckles, and this could help him fill a new purpose on Earth (cos lets be honest… he didn’t really do that in his show-) of becoming a protector of the Chaos Emeralds instead or something. The main part of SA2 is about the Chaos Emeralds so this makes sense. Refinding the Emeralds or going to the right spot to use them and such but thats besides the point.
Another huge loss of introducing Amy in Sonic 3 is missing out on how she was introduced in the franchise. In Sonic CD, she was introduced along side another key character in the franchise; Metal Sonic. She saw a blue hero coming to help her, believing it to be Sonic, but turned out to be Metal instead. Having Amy navigate the trio around and give them the lore would make a lot of sense, given the way that others were introduced in the second installment.
Its also appropriate for this introduction too, since Metal Sonic is the perfect equal to Sonic, compared to Shadow's unintentional equal. After Eggman's failure of using Shadow, creating Metal is the next best thing. Whatever the story is with Metal, whether its faithful to Sonic CD or is twisted to fit the Movieverse story.
Now... I think introducing Amy could also mess up a lot of aspects of what the movieverse has set up for the stories of the characters. I 100% know that they will try and pull off a romance for Sonic and Amy, since its one of her main character arcs and for the longest time and its kind of (??) the main romance of the franchise. BUT according to the Sonic Dream Team character profiles, and the ending of Frontiers, she's drifted away from that interest in him... so to go back to that would be a really weird choice. I know its a different universe, but if SEGA is trying to steer away from that, then why would they go back on it?
PLUS I think it would be a huge detriment to both of their characters. Movie Sonic is much different to the Sonic's of the past, as he has all of the charms of Modern Sonic (his quick wit and charming personality) but hes younger and less experienced and jumps head first without thinking because he doesn't know what to actually do. He was thrown into the role of the hero in the first movie because the place he grew up was being threatened and he refused to run away. Amy being introduced as solely 'the love interest' also does a disservice to her character. She's strong willed, and unafraid to stand up to Eggman and any other wrong doer. She's also rather hot headed but still kind and cares for those who matter. (this is also part of a larger discussion i wrote about how in canon Sonic and Amy wouldn't work out because they want different things and are very different people but thats for a different day and/or if anyone is interested). Sonic immediately switching to a head-over-heels guy would be a complete ruin of his character built up, while also immediately destroying Amy's.
Another problem is that there isn't a focus on romance of any kind in the story so far, and introducing it could mess up what they have going. The Movie's are clearly about familial love and growing up and filling the boots of a hero. It is not a story of romance in any way. The first movie was friendship, the second was about family bonds and making new friends, and the third is most likely about trust or learning to trust again (Shadow has to trust Sonic to save the world). It'll also be a huge moment for Sonic's character; Meeting someone who is not just against him and Knuckles and Tails, but against the world itself, someone who is so hellbent on revenge for the one he lost, and how hes going to over come that WHILE meeting his new love interest... is a huuuuge task to pull off and the two stories don't really mix imo. Plus even in SA2 the extent of the romance is just 'Amy mistaking Shadow for Sonic and then she thinks its awkward and gets embarrassed and thats how they meet for the first time'.
So yeah this could be done much better if it's something thats going to happen, and it would be better left for a 4th or separate installment. Having a mini romance arc along with the Metal Sonic stuff works better because the introduction of a potential romance was worked more into Sonic CD than anything.
Im still gonna be pissed off if they do a romance, because Sonic the Hedgehog has never been about romance... but its also a multimillion kids film franchise and its bound to happen, especially when its the main male and main female character. Just know i won't enjoy it lol.
IF they do Amy... I want tarot cards AND the Piko Piko Hammer and if you take either of them away i will be causing problems (on purpose). If you give her the original outfit +11 points and if you make up an outfit whatever as long as it works and its cute (I'm partial to Dungarees myself).
anyway yeah id like to see other opinions on this... maybe some other ways it could work out? or how else she could be introduced? or maybe even of she could be in Sonic 3 but idk what they would do for her to make her not get sidelined or overtake the plot...?
#THIS IS ALL MY OPINION AND IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN MOVE ON THANK YOUUU#if they do amy im going to be praying and begging for her to be independent or take a note from the Mario Movie#Mario and Peach's dynamic was perfect for potentially branching into a romance in the 2nd movie so PLEASE PLEASE-#anyway yeah i felt like i needed to say all of this before any more news comes and you guys get to hear me complain about this again#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie 3#sonic movie#amy rose#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#ALSO meant to add this but if Rouge is introduced they could SOOO do a Heroes Team Dark spin off omggggg#they probably wont but pllleeeeeease it would be so good#id love to see Movieverse Omega it would be so cool
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there were so many hints i was a lesbian in my life lmaoooo
#girl.#how did it take until 18 to add 2+2#refused to kiss boys in school bc it wasn't “the perfect situation” (in the rain/sprinklers like high school muscial)#(this ruledidnt apply to kissing my best friend lmao)#got my first hickey from my best friend at the time bc we wanted to know what they felt like#SCARRED.#MY HAND.#BC MY BEST FRIEND WAS MOVING.#AND I NEEDED TO REMEMBER HER#ARE U KIDDING ME LMAO#BE NORMAL CHALLENGE???????#it worked i think of her every time#and she didn't even move AAHHAHAHA#「mercury speaks」
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“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#no spoilers please first read to read along with me#more notes quotes annotations & reacts in the tags spoilers for the chapter & book in post & tags of course pt 2 of 4 perspectives#Lorcan had never felt the weight of the hours so heavily upon him-I FEEL IT 2poor Rowan must feel this 247HURRY where’s Elide?hold on Aelin!#And to send Elide into Maeve's clutches--it had taken all of his will to let her walk away.😭#If Elide was captured if she was found out he wouldn't hear of it know of it. — you’d know cause she’s your mate idiot (I love you idiot#without proving their worth they could still visit--briefly. — ugh Maeve why does everything about you suck so much#If she emerged. — COME ON ELIDE — I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER CAIRN-NAPPING#the Prince of the North and the Lion the protector and the ever impatient in love idiot we all love Lorcan#He knew some of them. Had commanded them. Were they now his enemy? — they are all having some inner morality battles#What manner of birds? Raptors mostly — none from the House of Whitethorn — they fought for him on the other borders… for her🥹😭them#why so many guards if no Aelin hmm???? SHES HERE GUYS#though Gavriel kept glancing to the tattoos inked on his hands. How many more lives would he need to add before they were through?#Aelin had been trained to endure torture. Elide... He could see those scars on her from the shackles. — how about we save them both?😭🖤#She had endured too much suffering and terror already. He couldn't allow her to face another heartbeat of it--#Rowan and his random hatchet now😅😂 it’s giving my wife is gone unhinged in the woods with the bros might become a horror movie vibes#But then a two-note whistle echoed and Lorcan's legs wobbled so violently he sat back onto the rock where he'd been perched-OH MY ELORCAN😭🖤#also Lorcan… perched??? isn’t that bird boy Rowan’s thing?😅😂🤣#her cheeks rosy in the cool night air. — cheeks pink in the twinkling lights tell me bout the first time you saw me (shipping in insanity)#She was fine. She was unhurt. There was no enemy on her tail. Elide's eyes met his. Wary and uncertain. I met someone.#THANK GOD — but also wait WHAT-when?WHO?HOW?#also this quote posted is like one of the reasons I love Elide#another grand Maasverse enterance is on its way?#the fact the opening line shows that being sold out to Maeve is the same as death — OH GET TO AELIN ALREADY PLEASE#no more tattoos guys — what’s with Maeve’s wolves — isn’t dark haired beauty what Elide called the girl in the caravan so maybe it’s her
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more feelings below again. whatever. let me have my weak moments
anyways ive also eben reflecting on some stuff that was said between us when we argued and like. damn some shit sticks w u. what they said wasnt said in a bad way but now ive gone and twisted it in my head and i feel like if im not out of the closet to my parents ill never be able to have a proper romantic relationship w anyone. which sucks ass but theres truth to it bc ive got a weak will and tbh stay in my comfort zone (even if its not that comfortable) quite a bit so i wouldnt get into a relationship either way despite me. kinda wanting one.
but also i keep thinking that whats the point of a relationship if im just gonna end up hurting the other person bc i dont like saying shit straight to someones face bc i dont wanna hurt their feelings. which. remedio peor q la enfermedad etc etc whateverrrrr.
AND ANOTHER THING is that even if i could get into a relationship w someone i would feel so fucking alienated. i hate this but i truly feel like i dont belong here in spain. or maybe more like. i belong here in spain but i need someone that knows and understands US culture and has lived there and speaks the language. i cannot imagine talking to my SO in a language thats not english. as fucked up as it may sound especially coming from someone who loves and cherishes their native languages and then some. like i can barely say cutesy words in english (dont think ive ever uttered one in fact) or barely said i love you. what makes anyone think i can say t'estimo or carinyo or te quiero or amor out loud. i would rather kill myself before that happens methinks.
idk if this me closing myself off from certain types of relationships or if its bc ive only experienced one type of relationship and cant imagine anything else or WHAT but genuinely this adds to the distress ive already had this entire month and it doesnt help at all
#and to add insult to injury there are 4 lesbian couples that i knoe of this yr: two of the dorm workers#one of them has a kid. the other is also happily in a relationship. then theres my lab partner.#the other day she showed me pics of her kids as well. and then theres the cook's sister. AND all her lesbian ambulance-driving friends#and it just makes me so jealous. these ppl are happy. and as much as i want to. idt ill ever be able to find something like that#BUT at the same time. theyre older than me. and sometimes i just wanna ask them (especially the 40 yr olds)#how they found their happiness in between figuring out their sexuality and how to be a person and hoe to navigate the world#and how they felt for another person and figured out their feelings and how did they know they wanted to build a life w them#bc im guessing it wasnt easy. but at the same time. was it ever this hard????????? i need to know stories of lesbian heartbreak#i think im gonna ask the dorm worker thats here next week and shes closer to my age how shes dealt w everything#if she even has dealt w all these things#z xarre
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the umbrella academy - season three
the fact that christopher exists without any proper explanation as to why he is a cube casually implies that a poor girl didn't only give birth unexpectedly, but also to a cube (?)
#the umbrella academy#i mean what#the idea of a second academy is weird enough#but why do you need to add a *cube* to it#also I'm rewatching the show just because I felt like it#and omg they all went through so much in their own separate ways#klaus was in the middle of vietnam like half of season 1 (?) and no other sibling knew about this (?)#and although she brings it up sometimes allison is also away from her daughter like 90% of the series (?)#well something could be said about all of them so you get the point#anyways#I hope you have a nice day :)
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me after editing the aau prologue for the bajillionth time
#First chapter I changed the opening bc I always thought it felt off/abrupt and wanted to have it be prince pov from the start#I wanna get in his head more ok sue me#Beyond that tho it was just some wording edits#Specifically with the internal dialogue moments I helped them flow more/feel more like thoughts#Also mj gets a bit more of their usual edge/pessimism bc the prologue they always felt a bit too “ówò sad poor smol bean” or whatever#That’s it tho chapter 4 I didn’t change bc it’s peak#Did add some teases to later things tho like snatch senses mjs soul at the end of his chap but doesn’t realize it#Or like I added the Not Now running thing in the earlier chapters bc it was more of a chapter 4 thing so I wanted 2 set it up more so boom#I think that’s all the notable edits ig like I said just description additions the only actual new thing is the opener for chap 1 👍#Also also I got to include a hc that I have that I neglected to do before but I hc a!prince used plural internal dialogue#Because lol we love dramatic irony in this house#Grace post#this reminds me tho one of these days I should look through heart strings chapter one to look for editing things#Bc I think I did that recently but I don’t remember it much tho#Mostly just when the Hat stuff starts that was the parts I never directly rewrote I just edited them so they feel out of place in my brain#Also I’d wanna edit her dialogue bc it *was* in character (after rereading her diary’s to confirm) but I wanna have her be a bit more snark#Hat is Hard bc i Need the balance of cute little kid and also smug little shit (affectionate) like she is a pain to write man cries#This is just me rambling lol ignore it I just wanted to spam aau thoughts#In other news I made shapes redesigns but I’m on the fence on posting them bc idk if I wanna spoil or not hhhhhhhhh#Nowadays I’m more chill w spoiling things than I used to be#But there are a handful of things I’ve kept shut about (ex being princes name or mjs species stuff etc)#So I’m not sure if this thing with shapes i should keep secret or just post bc I used to spoil it but idk now#Shrugs#maybe I’ll do a poll later I dunno#Ok yapping over byeeeeee
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5 AM
Just me and my overactive mind facing the nighttime again 🙃
#hopefully the meds work but while waiting for them to kick in I get so damn nervous#and sometimes I do get nights where even on my full dose my anxiety is too overpowering and I just. Do Not Sleep#I mean I do eventually but not without spiraling first :')#way before I was prescribed sleep meds my longest was 3 nights without sleep while on a VERY stressful trip#I felt like I was gonna die and I did not sleep until I got off the plane and was back at home#(this was like 15 years ago already but it still haunts me fhfgsgdh)#my best friend and I were having a conversation today#and she was like 'not sleeping can make you hallucinate right?'#and I was like :') I get the hallucinations in other scenarios too#BUT I also get what she meant#not sleeping is really bad for me mentally which is why I can't do 'sleep restriction therapy'#and fun fact#a lot of my OCD obsessions revolve around sleep!!!#which is 'awesome' because laying in bed with insomnia makes my OCD flare up so like#the two get to feed off each other and make my life a living hell!!!#and don't even get me started on my sleep paralysis episodes#(which I like to think of as just my brain misfiring but that my aunt tells me is saints or demons trying to talk to me)#'cause she hallucinates too but hers are like 'spiritual' or whatever#same with my mom's hallucinations as well#and to add fuel to the dumpster fire of my mind and body is the fact I've been overcaffeinating again#which I've known not to do ever since I was in middle school and saw the pediatric cardiologist who specifically said 'hey don't do that'#fast-forward to adulthood and I still haven't learned how to handle anything#like. I have heart meds and sleep meds and migraine meds and IBS meds#and yes meds are good but like. I know you need to incorporate lifestyle changes as well#which I do for like 2 weeks until the next time I fuck up#I've been so irresponsible lately but like. ESPECIALLY today#didn't eat#took some meds on an empty stomach and forgot to take my other ones at all#had too much caffeine#stressed out over some stupid situations thanks to overthinking
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