#i felt johns crack energy there
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bunnyb34r · 7 months ago
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Okay finally awake/brain awake enough to talk ab Tuesday
So mom and I went to see Ghostbusters Frozen Empire. The last time she was at the movies was when we saw frozen lol so like 10 years ago (😩) anyway she was really excited 🥺 We ofc got snacks and thankfully I get 20% off snacks bc that shit is so stupidly pricey and we just had: 1 large popcorn, 1 large pop, 1 large icee = $20.
$16 with discount
We were in the reeeeally big theater and I was like oh well let's sit in row J which is like 2 rows from the back... we were walking up these stairs for what felt like forEVER sgdgdggdgd I forgot how big that theater is 😭
Anyway the movie was really good, super funny I loved Trevor's character and Phoebe was adorable. (Cast was uh... very white like there's like 3 nonwhite characters in the general cast.) Lots of flashing lights, which is kinda to be expected for Ghostbusters.
The StayPuff Marshmallow Men were so fucking funny I almost started crying laughing at the one part 😭
Story was interesting, funny cast (again could be.. better), the climax really couldve been better imo but it was good still. Anyway super fun time! I'm glad we went
Oh! And in the trailers they announced that every Monday in May is gonna be one of the spiderman movies like the first from each series so I can finally see TASM in theaters like I saw TASM2!!!!!!!! :D like a decade later....
Idk if I'm gonna see the marvel ones, but I do wanna see the Tobey McGuire one and ofc the andrew Garfield one
I'll just move hair washing day or deal sgdgdggd bc spiderman!!!
Also we went to cracker barrel after and I found the beanie baby Zip and I wanted to cry bc shes so perfect. I've been looking for a black cat with white paws plushie since our cat died and although zip has white on her tail, she looks enough like her that its perfect 🥺
We also found solar eclipse glasses!!!! I thought I was gonna have to dig up my old ones from 2017 and hope I found em or rush ship an amazon order (bc I've been having executive disfunction and delayed it...) but we got em!!
All in all it was a really great day :")
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kismetlotts · 8 months ago
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-`♡´- John Price fingering you in front of the mirror x afab femreader
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cw: mirror kink, “good girl”, reader gets fingered
John Price was a mad man; a fucking machine. Built like a superhero, covered in dirt with that sexy beard of his but god damn you’d let him do the unspeakable to you.
He could fuck for hours, for nights- you swore if he had enough energy he could go on for days. But one thing he struggled to do was finger you.
You felt a bit embarrassed to ask why as you always assured him it felt good but the disgruntled expression and sigh he makes when he pulls out of you made you worry. You began to wonder if it was something wrong with you and that’s the reason why.
In your head it made sense, him making it plainly obvious he didn’t want to do it every-time it was over but your mind always made something up to contradict your theory.
If he hated it so much why did he enjoy eating you out? Why would he throw you in the bed, staring at your pussy hungry before attacking your clit fast and hard like the military captain he is? And if he hated fingering you so much why did he offer?
Why did he do that?
You stretched your legs out under your office chair before packing your bag and leaving work, on your way home. Tonight was the night you were going to ask him, embarrassing or not. You couldn’t let your dwelling and overthinking cluster up your head any longer, it was time.
You opened the gate to your rustic home and headed for the big door. The house you two had bought was quiet old and elegant and you’d loved it so much, decorating the decaying walls and overgrown garden and making it your own. You loved the style and it made you feel cozy, this was your dream house.
The door shut behind you and the farmilliar scent of vanilla candles and firewood cascaded through the walls as the fire cracked beside you. You hung up your coat and dumped your bag on the floor.
“Baby? Where are you?” You called and after hearing a couple strained grunts you heard Price yell back a ‘Here’ from upstairs. Curiosity flooded your mind and you jogged up the stairs and pushed open your bedroom door to see him crouched on the floor, tool kit sprawled behind him and a screw driver in his hand.
“What the fuck is that?” The laughter of your voice falling through as you store at the mirror nailed to the wall, it was huge. Something out of a ballet studio and you turned back to him, heavy breathing and whipping the sweat off of his pink face.
“Thought you’d like it, pretty big though.” Yeah, just a little. Head to toe taking all the room and right in-front of the bed, how amazing. Cant wait to wake up to my own reflection.
“Doesn’t exactly go with the rustic design of the house does it?” But all he did was laugh and pull you closer, giving you a sloppy but loving kiss on the lips as you tried to wriggle away. His hands clasped around you waist and you remembered what you were going to ask him. Your mouth fell ajar but before you could speak he was dragging along the wide wooden chair to sit on before placing it infront of the mirror and take a seat.
“Want to know what it’s for?” He asked, words laced with something you couldn’t put your tongue on but you hesitantly nodded, wondering why he bought this. It must’ve costed a lot, and it was rather beautiful, it was as clear as glass. Why did he get this.
Price smirked letting a deep chuckle through his tight lips before patting his laps for you to sit. You sat down hesitantly and glacéd in the mirror at you two, his hands around your waist, just above your black skirt and eyes locked onto you. His left hand trailed up towards your neck sending tingles down your body and dampening your panties again. His other creeping closer down and rubbed your thigh soothingly.
“When I finger you love, I struggle a lot. I know you notice and I want to let you know why I struggle.” His hand reached your neck just below your chin and he tilted your neck back so your head laid on his strong shoulder, still looking at yourself in the mirror, with him in control.
"I love to see my fingers inside you, your cum gushing out after i finger you, but i also love to see your little face. Your cute little scrunched eyes, mouth wide open out of pleasure.” You couldn’t fight back the small whimper you let out as his hands on your thigh slowly rose higher, slipping comfortably under your skirt.
“But darling i’m getting old now, aren’t I? It’s too hard to look up then down then up- I miss a few things and I don’t like missing.” His seductive grin send pools of lava to your stomach and your thighs tensed under his hands as his thick fingers grazed the soft fabric of your panties. Teasing you and loving every fucking second.
“But fuck, from this angle? I can see all of you, all of you at once. Your breathing, face, pussy, everything and I love it.” You shut your eyes in embarrassment and you felt your face burn while he slid your underwear down slowly and gently tapped against your precious sensitive skin.
Tracing slowly down your wet slit coating himself in your taste. He groaned at the feeling kissing your temple while his finger prodded into your entrance greedily. Next time he will take his time, next time he will have you begging for his fingers. Next time because god he couldn’t wait now.
The thickness of his finger stretched you out slightly as he thrusted it in and out of you, burning your hole slightly as he added another and another. Your moans and cries send sparks to his dick below you and you felt him harden more and more beneath you- he didn’t stop to fuck you though.
“Oh yeah darling look at you, fucking look at yourself.” His other hand stretched to your chin, tilting your face up and through tears you watched yourself be finger fucked by John. Tightening around his hand more and moaning louder as tears rolled down your cheek.
“Baby I’m going to-” You started but he shut you up shushing you quiet with a small kiss and rapid movements. His husky voice demanding you just to let yourself go.
“Come on, that’s it. Just let it all go, cum on my fingers. Good girl, oh my god you’re such a good girl.” As you came, cum squirting out of your abused hole and dripping down his sticky fingers. Your back arched and your legs started to shake and tremble against him and he just smiled. Pulling out of you and holding you for a moment, licking his fingers clean.
“Was that good darling? I loved it. So much better than usually fingering you.” You breathing calmed down slowly as you shakily nodded. John leant over giving you another loving kiss before chuckling.
“I’ll give you a few minutes to calm down and then we’ll go again, yeah?”
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baohanhanesel · 6 months ago
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Play fighting with your boyfriend
Mention: John "Soap" Mactavish and Simon "Ghost" Riley ( separate scenarios. )
Reader is a civilian in John's scenario and a part of the 141 in Simon's scenario.
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John "Soap" Mactavish
You held your breath, your knees weak and hands were shaking while you tried to push John off of you. It was just a game. One you occasionally found yourselves in. You usually give up and tap out when he is all over you. Not that you are scared he'd actually hurt you, even if he did you'd know it was an accident. You just lacked to match his energy when it came to action. He is a strong energetic man, and you are a tired woman. You are famous for your talent of being able to break bones while walking on a straight road...
"Got the fight in ya today, bonnie!" He downright grunts the words to your ear with amusement. You grunt back, laughing and struggling against him.
"Fuck-- John!" You kicked his shin, and were maneuvered way too easily on your chest, he spread his fingers on your back and forced the heel of his palm in the middle of your spine. A loud crack and a pained grunt from your throat.
All action would have stopped if you were to just tap out, but the sound of the satisfying crack and the burning sensation took your mind away. You didn't stop him when he basically manhandled you, breaking your spirit to run away or tap out when he pushed you away.
It was light. It actually was pretty weak compared to what type of man John was. This must have been very hard for him to hold back all the hardness and strength, but the push still sent you down the couch.
Your chin met the ground with a thud and you hissed in pain.
"... Lass?"
You blinked, turning yourself around and laying on your back on the ground. You rubbed your chin mindlessly and looked up at John, who stared you down with mortified shot open eyes.
You felt the apology on the tip of his tongue and before he could get it out, you were laughing with tears in your eyes.
"Oh fuck" You exhaled "It hurts but--" You cackled, the giggle coming out of you was rather unhinged. "John help me!"
That did it. John scrambled to pull your arm. He grabbed your forearm. His big hand easily pulled you up on his chest and laid you back on the couch. You kept cackling, the redness on your chin was evident.
"Ah'm bloody sorry" He said, but then immediately frowned. "Why the fuck didncha tap out?!"
You felt his irritation and worry bleed into each other.
"Your hand felt good on my back for a moment, I forgot to tap out." What you couldn't say was I wanted to see if I could actually go through a bit of rough handling when it came to it, but no alive man would be able to take these words out of your mouth.
"Felt good?" John's brows furrowed further. He was glaring at you with a red blush on his tanned cheeks. "The crack?"
You gave him a nod, and his fingers came cupping your hurt chin. The redness was normal. Your skin got red to the slightest touch so it was fine. He just didn't want to miss it if it got purple or something. He placed chaste kisses all over your chin and you stifled your laugh.
"Yer the dead of me, ah'm telling ya." He genuinely looked distressed, you couldn't help but feel bad. Yep. You weren't playing tough anymore. You would definitely tap out next time.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
You threw one leg over his hips professionally before getting shoved into the couch. Your legs locked themselves around his hips.
"Fucking hell, love." Ghost grabbed your wrists and tried to maneuver you around, but your legs kept you tight in place. You bit down on your bottom lip to gather strength and confidence before you kicked him in the guts.
The kick didn't move him an inch.
But if Ghost was any other man, he'd recoil with pain. You knew that. Sure of that, even. Because that was what happened to every recruit under your combat training.
"So that's how it is?" His voice was gravely low and threatening.
Your eyes widened. An audible gulp of fear heard from you.
"Obviously." You fake confidence. Fake it till you make it, they say.
Ghost suddenly takes a hold of your ankles and pushes you off, you try kicking him away and you know he would be off of you in an instant if you were to tap out.
You never tapped out. You always ended up on the ground with small bruises but it was okay. They hurt a lovable amount.
Ghost raised your leg, and squished his body through. He towered over you and you were finally aware of your incredibly inappropriate position.
Your breath hitched. "Simon." You warned, but he laughed.
"Tap out." He pressed, wrists tight in one hand while the other held your leg.
This was sinful.
"Oh of course." You taunt with a snarky remark, trying to wiggle your hips and get away. There is no getting away from Ghost's grip if he doesn't want it. And right now, he is not even playfighting. He is being fucking petty because you kicked him in the guts.
You would complain about it, but the feeling is getting to you. It burns in your belly and you are having a hard time thinking straight. You will get out of here and make him swallow this stunt.
You try again, but then an idea pops in your head.
You slam your head back and pull your other leg beneath your body. You move your body forward and bite his wrist.
"Love?"
You reply with a muffled hum. Your teeth sunken in his flesh.
"Down, girl." He sighs, tired. This is not doing anything to him.
You let his wrist go, and he lets you go at the same time. He pulls his mask off of his head and suddenly tackles you down.
You go down with a squeal before the mask is slid through your face.
The fabric rests comfortingly on your cheeks. You blink a few times to understand your position. He has his hands on your shoulders and you have a fistful of his shirt in your hands.
"Down, girl"? What the fuck, Simon. He is doing so many things to you and you are having a hard time deciphering them all.
You look at him with flushed cheeks, which are hidden behind the mask, and glare at him.
He is smirking bright and smug. "Just not in your dictionary is it? Backing down, I mean."
You groan, letting his shirt go and looking up at him. "You are a pain."
"Anything hurts?"
"My bleeding heart does!" You don't even feel humiliated. There is no need to because there is no defeating him. You feel incredibly bashful because of his actions though. His words. His mask.
Meanwhile Ghost is basking in the feeling of pride. The flushed skin on you. The red marks of his fingertips on your wrists and ankle while the mask stays on your face. Everything about your state screams; Lieutenant Simon Riley had his hands on you. And this brings nothing but satisfaction.
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johnwickb1tsch · 14 days ago
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The Girl Next Door - X
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A Constantine x FemVampire!Reader (feat John Wick!) fic based on this imagine. all chapters warnings: nsfw, blood, biting, violence divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more gif and pics from pinterest
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he tastes like candy, he’s so beautiful -Awful, Hole 🤘
10. little bird
Wick says nothing more, just holds your gaze, and again you feel like the floor is going out from beneath you. You’ve become accustomed to your cooler body temperature, but now for the umpteenth time tonight you feel hot beneath the collar. 
“It’s…just a coincidence.” 
“Surely.” He smirks at you, laughing at you, deep down.
Asshole. 
One extremely fine, extremely dangerous, asshole. 
Glaring at the two of you eye-fucking eachother, Constantine clears his throat. “Are we trying to find don Juan or not? Otherwise, I should get to Midnite’s.” 
You look to John. Despite the energy you’d shared with him, he still has dark circles under his eyes, still seems just this side of fragile. You remember how much blood you had to take from him last time, to call up that much excess power, that it just felt like you were floating above your corporeal body. You’re not sure he can spare it, now. If you sent him to an early grave with blood loss you know you would walk yourself right out into the sun. 
On the other hand, there is Wick, robust, full of blood, and who you wouldn’t feel guilty at all about taking down a peg or two. His smile widens as he notices you assessing him like a piece of meat, his powerful body sprawled in the rickety old chair–maybe he wouldn’t be so smug, however, if he knew exactly what you were thinking. 
“Depends,” you answer John. “Will you let me in, or are you going to keep stonewalling me?”
“I’m not exactly in the habit of leaving my aura hanging wide open. It leads to bad things in my business,” he grumbles. 
You suppose, considering his occupation, that’s understandable. But you also think he’s making excuses to shut you out.  
“Uh huh.” 
You cross the cracked linoleum floor to him. He’s so tall that you’re nearly eye to eye, even with him sitting, and even though you already fed once tonight, just looking at him like this kindles that insatiable hunger in your belly, a lick of desire that curls in you like smoke from an opium pipe. Heady. Wonderful. Addictive. Shields up or not, you know he feels it too in the bond between you, his lips parting with a gasp, his pupils dilating to turn his dark irises purest black.  
He takes your hand, and the energy that ignites between you as his long fingers slide into yours fills the dilapidated room with something bright and charged. It even makes Wick sit up straighter in his chair. It feels like sunshine on your face, when you were still human, and you cannot suppress a sigh of enjoyment. 
They both seem surprised when you hold out your other hand to Wick. “Come here.” The vampire hunter obeys, his footsteps heavy and deliberate as he approaches, his presence a solid line of warmth at your back.  
With an almost quizzical look, Wick takes your hand. His fingers are calloused, and strong, and his touch feels like a live wire gripped in your hands. Reincarnated sweethearts or not–your magic likes him, and you think you can work with that. 
Constantine’s frown as he watches this exchange is thunderously contemptuous.  “We gonna sing kumbaya now, baby?” he gripes at you. 
“No. We’re going to find don Juan, and Mr. Wick here is going to cut off his fucking head. Got a problem with that?”
You see the corner of his mouth tick for the barest second, his only indication of mirth before he throws himself wide open to you, and the mingled energies of these two powerful men rips through you like an electric shock. 
♰♰♰
Maybe John Constantine is ill, but you were a fool to think him weak. One mouthful of blood taken carefully from his wrist is so power-charged you practically see stars. It’s possible that adding Wick’s rich blood to the cocktail nearly renders you drunk, so giddy you think you might hover physically off the ground. But the two men on either side of you keep you anchored, vying even now in their holds upon you. 
It’s funny, maybe, that you thought it would keep things tame, drinking from the wrist. But there is an agonizing tension amidst the three of you, unsatisfied lust and painful longing. It all adds a particular spice to this conjuring you work as the focus between them, and you are able to rise with barely a thought this time.
It’s more familiar, this second time you wander through the minds of the city, and you are more careful as you sift through them like grains of rice, in search of that one poisoned seed. You think you are successful more than once, before realizing they are just don Juan’s awful progeny, but not the original root of that particular brand of evil. 
You are surprised, when in your wandering you encounter Angela, the detective John Constantine so secretly fancied. She is in her apartment, working at her laptop. There is a glow of such goodness about her that is rare to find in humans. Her aura is practically a halo, it shines so bright. She is warm, and smart, and strong, and it’s no wonder John likes her, you think to yourself sadly. 
You probe a little deeper, finding that at this moment she is thinking about John. She likes him too, though she’s puzzled as to why. That is a feeling you understand all too well. She must feel your presence, looking up as though there is something in the room with her, reaching out to put a hand on her service issue Glock on the desk next to her. She’s already had quite a scare after her first encounter with real demons, and guiltily you back off, not wanting to upset her.  
You are about to give up your search, feeling that you have stretched yourself to the limit, when at last you sense him. That seething, cloying dark energy that follows don Juan like a cloud. You are more cautious in your approach this time, keeping your distance as you observe him. It seems he retreated north into the mountains, to a chic but almost quaint little house tucked into the hillside. He sits beside a glittering swimming pool, smoking and brooding. The moment you sense him turning your way you retreat, returning to your body, too quickly perhaps. 
It’s disorienting, after being weightless, to wrangle with your flesh and bones, like it’s hard to get all the pieces of you to mesh back again. You would have fallen, if not for two pairs of strong hands steadying you. You lean back on a broad chest. Constantine is before you, you recognize, which makes the imposing wall behind you still Wick. You are either the luckiest girl in the world, or you are cursed. You still haven’t decided which yet. 
“Back off,” snarls Constantine to the dhampir, pulling you into his arms. 
Wick growls, and you can't help but feel like the bone between two cranky dogs. You really shouldn't be enjoying it so much.
“Are you alright?” 
You think you’re fine, but you’re tired. You didn’t travel that far, last time, or search with such purpose in mind. It took a lot more energy than you thought it would.
“He’s in Laurel Canyon,” you whisper against Constantine’s chest. “North end. A little cottage with stone facing, clay tile roof. There’s a bronze statue of horses out front.” You think back, and realize you even remember the house number. You manage to say it out loud before the room starts to spin. Are you going to be sick? “I don’t feel good.” 
“I warned you,” grouses Constantine, even while his hand sits protectively on the back of your head. 
“She did well,” defends Wick. “This will save me time.” 
Sitting back down, Constantine pulls you into his lap, away from the dhampir. You hate to admit how good it feels to curl into him like a child who’s had a nightmare, his arms around you.   
“Great,” he snarks to Wick. “Feel free to go.”
Wick snorts in answer, still looking down at you. “Are you sure you’re alright?”
Reluctantly you nod against Constantine’s collarbone, closing your eyes. “I’ll be fine. Will you be fine by yourself?”
Wick laughs lowly at this, but not unkindly. “No worries, ptichka, no more flying around for you. I will give don Juan your regards.” 
“Please, kick him in the nuts for me,” you grumble. The thought of that awful vampire finally getting his comeuppance is darkly satisfying. 
“Would you like me to bring you his head?” 
“Ew.” 
Wick laughs, and you hear his footfalls as he crosses the kitchen to the crumpled vampire in the corner. You’d almost forgotten about the poor bastard. “I will see you soon,” says the dhampir, winking at you before dragging the informant out by his ankles. 
A strange quiet settles over the apartment, without the ominous dark energy of John Wick filling the room. 
You should be scared of him–but you kind of miss him.
“Alone at last,” grouses Constantine, his hold on you tightening. 
You laugh a little, snuggling into the bend of his neck. You start to feel better, sitting like this with him. His hand drifts to your thigh, tracing the hem of his shirt absently. “Was this really the only thing you could come up with to wear?” 
“You don’t like it, John?” you tease sleepily. 
“I like it a lot. For my eyes only.”
“Hmm. I think that’s something only a boyfriend gets to say,” you dare ripost.
He snorts in answer. “If I was your boyfriend, would I get to tell you what to do?” 
“No.” 
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He coughs, and only a beat later do you realize it was a laugh. 
 But then he can’t help but ruin the moment: 
“I thought the dhampir was your new boyfriend, Miss I’ll come visit you in New York,” he complains in an insulting falsetto.  
You, in turn, just roll your eyes. “Excuse you, but I saved you from getting your head lopped off. You’re welcome, by the way.” 
Then, he has to go and turn serious on you. “Baby, when I’m gone–” You whine, hating hearing him say it aloud, but he talks over you. “It’s going to happen, y/n. You’ve got to accept that. And when it does, you cannot take up with him. He is bad news. Call it…my dying wish.” 
You’re smart enough to bite down on your first response, which is, ‘he doesn’t seem so bad.’  
It turns out you don’t have any reply at all, and he watches you with an intensity that makes you fear he can read your mind. You’re not sure why he takes mercy on you, saying more gently, “You can’t save him, sweetheart. Any more than you can save me.” 
You look down, because his laser-like gaze is too much, even for you. 
Part of the reason you want to get this thing solved so badly is because you hope you can save him. Maybe with the help of modern medicine, and your own combined magic…something might work out. Buy him some time, at least. He already seems better, after finally letting you into your bond earlier that night. 
Maybe he’s resigned, but you haven’t completely given up hope. 
“I just…want to get this thing resolved,” you admit. “So you can rest.”  
He lifts one of those angular dark brows, clearly thinking that the only rest waiting for him is the permanent kind. But he doesn’t insist again that you accept the inevitable truth of his demise. Sometimes, when you care about someone, you let them get away with those little lies that keep them sane through the day to day grind of life. Maybe he realizes that you need this, so that you don’t run down the street screaming at God and anyone else unfortunate enough to get in your path.  
“Sure, honey.” He surprises you again, when he presses a tender kiss to your forehead. “I’m going to put you to bed, and I have to go to Midnite’s.”
You know the kittenish sound that escapes your lips sounds ridiculous. “Let me go with you.”
“You’re wiped out. Stay here and rest.” 
“No.” You sit up, feeling a little better. Tired, but better. 
“Yes,” he insists, narrowing his eyes at you. 
“I’m just going to follow you, if you try to leave me here.” 
“For once, can you not be so stubborn when I’m trying to protect you?” 
Your lips dance as you try to suppress a smile, lifting an eyebrow. “I could ask the same thing of you?” 
Another exasperated growl escapes him, and your heart sings when he pulls you into another kiss, that golden rope between you pulsing with energy, singing with light. He pulls back to look at you, his pupils blown wide. You wonder if it occurs to him, that this could be his last chance to be with a woman, if things outside this crumbling apartment do not go well. Or maybe, just maybe, he finds you as irresistible as you find him. Either way, when he tangles his long fingers in your hair and kisses you again, you are all too ready to lean in. 
You’re not sure how it’s possible, that this man simultaneously breaks your heart, and puts you back together again. 
When he stands with you in his arms you give a sound of protest, worried about the extra exertion.
“I’m fine, y/n,” he tells you with a rare gentleness that to you is precious as any gemstone. “I’ve got you.”     
He carries you to the bed in the next room, and you are more than happy to let him have his way with you. 
______
*ptichka - little bird
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Yearning
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Pairing: Captain John Price x f!reader
Warnings: tiny bit of angst, suggestive themes (mdni 18+), slight bickering but it's okay
Synopsis: You're waiting for something to start...
Duty Over Heart masterlist
Two days had passed since your leave had unexpectedly ended and like clockwork, you hardly saw Price. He stayed in his office, trying to get the work done while waiting for any intel from the phone to show up. Most of the paperwork could wait, the higher ups and Laswell didn’t need it immediately, but you knew that once he started he didn’t stop.
The only times you saw him were in the halls and at night just before bed. You rarely ever saw him at meal times, which made you more upset because you knew he wasn’t eating.
You wanted to say you were used to it but after spending a week with him almost constantly around you, you were a little lonely. Those late nights you spent together, all of the time you both spent together preparing for your anniversary and for any dates in between, the fact that you two weren’t far from each other inside the house. It almost bordered on too much but neither of you could help it, that was just how it was the first week you both were put on leave. The energy would relax eventually which would make it easier to go back to work but since that time was cut short, you weren’t ready.
You didn’t want to admit that you were still being clingy so you told yourself that eventually it’ll let up and eventually you’ll be okay with the minimal contact with Price.
However, as you watched the clock tick closer towards the end of dinner without him in sight, a pit formed in your stomach.
“How come we never get invited to your flat, Doc?” Gaz brought you out of your thoughts and you raised an eyebrow. “You’ve lived here for a while now.”
“Because I see you enough as it is.” You teased and he rolled his eyes. “My apartment is way too small for any social gatherings.”
“You could always invite one of us over.”
“Okay, pick who goes first.”
You hid your smile behind your cup when Gaz and Soap began a petty argument over who would go first when you knew that neither would relent. The subject would eventually be dropped and you wouldn’t have to worry about them asking again until the next time you go on leave. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last but you had become an expert at deflecting their wishes to visit.
You were incredibly lucky that they didn’t ask to visit Price, opting to instead go out for drinks, otherwise you knew that Price would have a hard time explaining why he had tampons in his bathroom.
You glanced at the clock. Ten minutes until the kitchen closed and he was nowhere to be seen. 
You hid your frown by eating. It would be a miracle if you didn’t both chew him out and cling to him when you saw him later tonight in your room. 
“How much longer until Laswell finds something?” Dinnae ken how many times I can lift before my muscles fail.” Soap sighed and you shrugged, understanding his slight frustration.
It was taking a long time to find anything from the phone. Usually it only took a couple hours before you all were back in the field when it came to cracking open a phone. You couldn’t imagine it would have that much protection on it when it seemed like a completely ordinary weapons deal. 
Maybe that was contributing to the way you were feeling. Everyone was antsy to get back in the field after a small bust. Most of the time there was more action, another terrorist to catch or something leading to another bust before you were grounded back at base. Now it felt like a waiting game.
You couldn’t help but wonder if Price was feeling the same and if that was why he had locked himself in office.
“Lay off the weights and watch TV or something, you’ll be too sore to work.” You chided Soap and he scoffed.
“Two days in and Doc is back to being the medic. New record.” He teased and you shot him a look that made the table snicker. “You gonna make us do physicals?”
“Maybe I should, it’ll give us something to do.”
He groaned and Gaz shook his head. While the idea of physicals was something to do, you weren’t too bored yet of helping the head medic of the base sort files and check on the other soldiers just yet. It was always hard stopping the adrenaline once it started but you wanted to get back in the field before it disappeared. 
You could use it as an excuse to see Price, one that would ward off any suspicions that the others may get. 
You looked up at the clock and the kitchen closed. You stood up, more than ready to see him before you nodded to the boys.
“I’ll ask John if he’s heard anything.” You said and smiled. “Maybe I’ll mention you’re bored while I’m at it.”
“Ah! No, don’t do that, he'll make me train the rookies.” Soap pleaded and you laughed as you walked out of the mess hall. “I mean it!”
You tried to hide your excitement so no one would ask you questions but you practically ran down the hall towards his office. You were ready to see him even if it would only be a quick visit. It would at least be longer than right before bed.
You knocked on Price’s door and didn’t even wait for him to call you in before you opened the door.
“Doc.” He smiled up at you from his desk which was covered in papers and his laptop.
“You missed dinner.” You closed the door behind you and he gave you a confused look.
“It’s only four.”
He looked down at his watch and frowned, which made you raise an eyebrow as you watched his eyes harden.
“How are you of all people this bad at time management?” You wondered.
He was the most timely when it came to literally everything else when he wasn’t filling out paperwork. The man praised his “violence and timing” and yet time seemed to slip past him when he was stuck at a desk doing the work he hated.
“I’m good when it matters.” He said and you made a disapproving noise that made him shoot you a look. “You know what I mean, I’ll grab something later.”
You huffed, willing to let it go but he paused.
Price studied your face intently. You watched his eyes bounce around and you raised an eyebrow before a frown pulled at his face. He nodded towards the door and you understood immediately.
You locked the door and when you turned around he had already pulled a chair up beside him. You didn’t hesitate to sit next to him and didn’t protest when he grabbed your legs to put them on his lap. 
“Did you finish?” You gestured to his desk despite the fact that he looked swamped with work.
“Was close to it but they sent me documents to read.” He grumbled and you frowned.
You knew that the reason why he got so much of the busy work was that he and Laswell split it apart to get through it quicker. It was the red tape that unfortunately had to be put around the task force for it to even be made, though there were many rules the force didn’t even have to worry about considering what it was made for, and Price had offered to help.
But you still couldn’t help but think that the higher ups gave the amount of paperwork they did for a spiteful reason.
It wasn’t exactly a secret that Price had a habit of insubordination and speaking out against anyone above him, in fact it was something that massively turned you on, so you wouldn’t be surprised if this was a way to get back at him. Regardless however, you thought it was ironic that they relied on him to get the job done on the field and yet bogged him down with documents and files that took up more of his time. 
It worried you too. He hid his stress well but you knew that it would soon chip away at his resolve if it continued. 
Which only made you feel worse about your predicament. 
“It’ll still be here tomorrow.” You said and he raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that they’re slow with processing these regardless of how fast you get them in.”
“Yeah, but I’d rather get it done in a day.”
You nearly laughed considering it had been two days and he wasn’t close to being finished. Instead you leaned back in your chair and watched him place a hand on your shin.
“I’ll finish tonight.” He said and this time you couldn’t stop the scoff that escaped your lips.
“You always say that but you never do.” You pointed out and he shot you a look.
“I will.”
“Uh-huh.”
Price rolled his eyes and you copied him before he gave you a tentative squeeze that made you both smile. He got more comfortable in his chair but went back to work, leaving the room in silence. 
You watched him for a moment before you glanced at his watch and your face fell.
You had already been in office for a lot longer than you intended. It was meant to be a quick visit, to satisfy your need to see him for just a moment but like always you found yourself stuck in his presence because he was the only place you wanted to be at the moment.
You’d have to cut it short however. Anyone could knock on the door or walk by and hear the both of you. Someone could also look for you or notice that you’re not anywhere in your usual places around the base and get suspicious, especially when you had told Soap of all people where you were heading.
He could keep a secret but not a secret he could use to tease you. 
“What’s bothering you?” Price brought you out of your thoughts and your eyebrows knitted together. “It’s written all over your face, love.”
You wanted to tell him how lonely you felt and to ask if maybe he was feeling the same way. You wanted to tell him it was a little unfair that he spent so much time on paperwork that could wait, that it didn't need to be done all in one sitting, and that you were quite frankly, a little upset that you didn’t get to have a proper leave before getting thrown back into this mess.
But when you looked at the paperwork on his desk, the amount and the way that you noticed he had slight undereye circles, you swallowed all of your complaints.
It would be unfair to say any of that to him now; what good would it do? It would only stress him out more than he already was considering you all were dealing with arguably the most dangerous man on the planet. He didn’t need to worry about you and your feelings right now, especially because right now you weren’t necessarily supposed to be together.
You were soldiers. 
Him a captain and you a lieutenant.
Besides, you had done this song and dance for nearly two decades. In your mind you should be used to your leave being cut short, so being upset just sounded childish when you thought it all out.
So you pushed it away, like you always did.
“I’m antsy.” You said, which was partially true. “Have you heard anything from Kate?”
“She’s still trying to get into the phone. Seems they put some protective measures on it.” 
You sighed heavily and he gave you a pat on your leg with a sympathetic smile. All there was left to do was wait. You weren’t too excited to break the news to Soap or Gaz, or even Ghost, considering that you were sure they’d complain about it too. 
You were about to leave when Price spoke.
“Next week is November.” He said and you tilted your head. “Week after is our anniversary.”
“And we still haven’t figured anything out.” You hummed. “Not that it matters anyway now since we’re at work.”
Price stopped what he was doing and turned his body towards you to give you his full attention. You could see a hint of nervousness in his eyes which made you give him a confused look.
“Actually, was thinking we’d have dinner. We can find an excuse.”
You perked up which made him smile.
“Our favorite restaurant?”
When he nodded you let out a small cheer that made him chuckle. You didn’t hesitate to lean forward and trap him in a kiss he happily accepted. 
A dinner wasn’t something grand or a vacation that got you away from all of the stress in your life but you were fine with that considering the circumstances. Ordinarily, neither of you would’ve tried to go somewhere romantic together while working, the risk was too high, but Price wanted to try to make the day special regardless. You weren’t going to complain.
You were just happy that you'd get uninterrupted time with him, especially when you knew that between now and then, you’d barely see each other.
You wanted more now however, especially as he grabbed your chair to pull you closer to him. You sighed when he deepened the kiss by holding your face with gentle hands. A simple kiss was all it took to bring out the desperation you hid away but you weren’t at all embarrassed, not when he smiled against your lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck...
“Be done for the night, please?” You pleaded softly when you broke apart.
Price stared at you with a sympathetic look and you tried not to frown. You missed the guilt in his eyes when you pulled away, though he didn’t let you go very far from him, and you were unable to hide some of your disappointment.
“I’m almost done, it won’t take me long.” He said but part of you had a hard time believing him.
You didn’t dwell on how much that hurt. Instead you swallowed your disappointment and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek to make it not a big deal. You gave him a small smile and hoped you could at least convince him to come to bed before the base called for lights out.
“Don’t be too late.”
“I won’t.”
You hummed and had the idea to leave, having overstayed longer than you should or expected to do, but he still had you trapped in your chair. You raised an eyebrow and gave him a suspicious look when he pulled you to the edge of your seat but that didn’t stop the deep loving look in his eyes.
He kissed you again. It was slower and you immediately understood what he was trying to do when he placed a hand on your hip.
“John.” It came out as a soft whine rather than the protest it should’ve been when he pressed a kiss under your ear. Despite knowing that you had to leave to avoid any sort of suspicions, you leaned into him and clutched the back of his shirt.
“It’ll be quick,” he mumbled in your ear and pressed hotter kisses against your skin. 
You’d call him a liar if you weren’t aching for him. Everywhere he touched you lit your skin on fire and you held onto him tightly as if he’d pull away from you now when he made his intentions perfectly clear.
All of your self control flew out the window when he pulled you onto his lap. The thought of someone walking by didn’t cross your mind as you straddled him and moved your hips against his, especially when he let out a low rumble from his chest.
You let out a hum and smiled when you felt his hardening cock against your clothed heat. You gasped when he grouped your ass and let out a soft moan when he squeezed your plump flesh. He moved your hips and you gripped his shoulders, letting the friction create pleasure that raced up your spine-
Price’s phone vibrated loudly on his desk and you both froze. For just a moment you stared at each other with heavy breaths, waiting for the other to make a move before he leaned forward. 
When he went past you and grabbed his phone you clenched your jaw. Disappointment settled in your stomach but you brushed it off and instead slipped off of his lap without saying anything. 
He didn’t let you leave, however, as he grabbed your wrist and gave you a serious look that reminded you exactly why you had gone to his office in the first place. 
“I’ll let them know.” He hung up the phone and adjusted himself before he stood up.
“Laswell?” You wondered and he nodded.
“Looks like you got what you wished for.”
You snorted but didn’t say anything as you followed him out of his office. You pushed everything else away as you prepared yourself for another fight. 
A soldier, a medic. No longer in love with the man who stole your breath away and made you happy. 
You could only hope that this would bring the mission closer towards Makarov.
link to part 5
a/n: decided to post wips here again hopefully i don't regret it lol
tags: @sofasoap @thriving-n-jiving @writingmysanity @teconkaals @xb14 @misshoneypaper @hers-area @shuttlelauncher81 @mamanmae @nicaeno @thedevillovesflowers
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strong-with-the-sarcasm · 10 months ago
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part 15 - we’re all misunderstood
"Me and all my friends, we're all misunderstood. They say we stand for nothing and there's no way we ever could." -Waiting On The World To Change by John Mayer
Masterlist Part 14
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The Watchtower was a marvel of engineering and fortitude, constantly in orbit above Earth among the star-studded void of space.
Just a quick glance out of the meeting hall window had proved to the Regent that her little brother would love it here. He’d inherited the innovative side of Fentonworks more than she, so the combination of one of his obsessions and tech to fiddle with was a dream come true. 
(She’d inherited the ruthlessness of Maddie Fenton.) 
Batman, the Dark Knight her little brother had trusted and the father of her soulmate, tapped away at a tablet in hand before turning his focus to her at ease form, hands clasped behind her back. Wonder Woman stood at her side and Superman at the other. A flanking maneuver it seemed. 
The Regent would’ve been offended if they didn’t consider her a threat, despite her willingness to discuss war prevention between the Infinite Realms and the Living Realm. Her armor alone was meant to be intimidating at first appearance, but it was the woman sealed into it that gave off the vibes of ‘Approach with caution’. She was a Warrior, not a pacifist,and everything she presented about herself was meant to signify that. 
However, the Regent was trained by the Ancient of Peace and would demand a peaceful resolution to a crisis rather than conflict, even if the Liminal had no desire for a battle against the Justice League. 
Constantine was a familiar presence in the room. The Laughing Magician had a soft spot for her little brother, but she felt the claim she had of his soul. It was cracked and missing so many pieces, but it was still a good one. The Sad Trenchcoat Man might’ve been a career drunk and conman, but that didn’t mean he was unnecessarily bad. 
He wouldn’t be here if he was. 
The man in question spoke first, much to the obvious surprise of those present, “How’s Phantom?” 
Her helmet turned to face him down where he sat a few feet away, an unopened flask resting on his thigh, “He is fine. Would you like me to pass on a message?” 
Constantine seemed to relax for a moment before shaking his head, “Nah, the kid bugs me enough.” 
“Regent.” Batman interrupted. “We would appreciate it if you could answer some questions we have regarding some disturbing files we received from Phantom.” 
The Liminal nodded, “I suspected as much. I cannot speak much on behalf of the King or others not present, but I will answer what I can truthfully.” 
“Thank you, My Lady, for your willingness to discuss such things with us.” Wonder Woman offered with sincerity in her words. 
The Regent shook her helmeted head, “I’d rather peace than be across from one another on the battlefield, Princess.” 
“Wisely so.” 
The Knight tapped on his tablet again, a projection of one of the Ghost Files documents spreading across the wall behind the Bat, the man in question returning his attention to her. 
“Why does the King require a Regent?” 
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If Bruce was being honest, which he was, he’d rather be anywhere else than here in the Watchtower about to helm peace talks between the Infinite Realms and Earth. He’d rather be eating dinner with his children, questioning Phantom about Jason’s whereabouts, or even on patrol- anywhere but here. 
It wasn’t even the presence of the armored woman who’d answered in place of the King Constantine had been asked to summon, rather Bruce wanted nothing to do with the Death Energy he felt in lapses radiating from the Regent that felt… cleaner than that of what Ra’s Al Ghul or Talia had. 
Bruce wanted answers. 
But he also wanted to be anywhere but here. 
He supposed it was his self-preservation instincts trying to get him away from the being that’s been summoned, he had no choice but to stay though. 
“The King is too young.” The Regent replied evenly, hands clasped in front of her stomach, much like Diana would when trying to demonstrate that she’s prepared to draw her sword at a given moment. “There is still much for him to learn and experience before he is ready for the Crown.” 
Batman hummed, even though Constantine spluttered in shock- “A kid defeated Pariah Dark in single combat?” 
“Yes.” 
“There are some questions that we would like to have recorded for the record, would you be amenable to this?” Batman interrupts, “We would also discuss public use.” 
Regent nods, helmet tinting a darker green as the Watchtower lights slant across it for a brief moment. “I accept, though there are some answers that are not mine to give.” The woman takes a breath, “I cannot give the identity of the King without his permission, nor can I discuss how or when he died.”
“Is there a particular reason why?” Superman asks. “It is considered taboo to ask a ghost anything related to their death because it can cause them to relieve it.” A pause, “Ghosts, or Ecto-Entites, are a fighting-based culture. They are beings of varying intelligence, thoughts, and emotions- sentient and sapient, much like humans and aliens. Capable of great things, both good and evil.” 
Bruce processed those words, a pit of horror forming in his chest. How many times has this woman said those exact words, hoping for them to be heard? They were eloquent, with the formality that hinted at diplomatic training, but with so much hope that it almost physically hurt. 
Capable of great things, both good and evil. 
Wasn’t that the choice Bruce made every time he put on the cowl? Anytime one of his kids got hurt and he felt such rage in his bones? He made the choice every day to do good and while it may not be great in the broader scale of things, it was to somebody somewhere. That was what it meant to be alive, to have free will, to exist. 
Now he finally understood why Phantom gave him the Ghost Files. 
He needed this. This confrontation of what it means to exist outside of Bats and Birds, the cowl and the mask, as a being. Would Bruce have listened had he not seen the Files? If he hadn’t seen the inhumanity committed upon the inhuman? What evil would he have perpetuated had he refused to listen? 
(Tim might think he had been the only one to watch the video of Danny Fenton’s death.)
(He was wrong.)(What if he hadn’t heard the wail?)(What if he hadn’t seen the rebirth of Fenton to Phantom?) 
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With all the bloodshed the GIW had on their collective hands, they would not go quietly. 
The Regent had emphasized their zealot tendencies, hypocritical ideology perpetuated by the Drs. Fentons and somewhat lackluster training, but exceedingly advanced technology geared explicitly towards Ecto-Entities in her testimony to the Justice League in the hours that followed. Several examples from the Ghost Files were explained and expanded on, including the destruction of the Casper High Gym which resulted in the death of a faculty member and the maiming of a student. Evidence of the town roads being utterly demolished, what looks like the aftermath of war being the norm for the citizens as they try to go about their daily lives. 
She had prepared to discuss all the above, and gone through various questions she’d been expecting from the League, but she had steadfastly avoided thoughts of the GIW’s unethical experimentation. Naturally, the League began this particular section with the Files’ opened to what Danny, Tucker, and Sam had included, a warning issued to all present that what they were about to watch was grotesque and to leave the room if they felt unable to hold the contents of their stomachs. 
The Regent was an older sister, a daughter, a leader, and a warrior- but she was still only able to take so much. (She hadn’t known the Fentons recorded Danny’s Phantom’s vivisection.)
(She hadn’t known they called each other sweetie and fudge-kins while digging in his chest cavity.)
Fury was a familiar enemy and friend in equal breaths, existing in the space between her ribs and her heart, trapped by a cage of bone and will. 
Fury echoed by her mirror image that entered the camera frame, sword first and merciless as she gutted Jack Fenton. 
(Regret was nowhere to be found.)(Shame had no place here.)
“By Realms Law 2127 subsection 32f paragraph 3: liminals, mortals, all in between may be promptly judged and or executed on grounds of threat to End a protector spirit or child. May also be decreed as battlefield law when faced with a sufficiently armed opponent and or external force.” The Regent recited monotonously. “Drs. Fenton also could have been tried for Invasion by opening the portal, but Phantom was able to give them a pardon.” 
“On what grounds?” Wonder Woman questioned, “He is a protector spirit, yes?” 
“Yes, which allowed the previous Law to be enacted and legal. By him acting within Amity Park and using Fenton tech to catch Ghosts, he gave them a pardon by an unspoken alliance.” 
“An alliance they broke,” Batman this time was clearly angry too in his clenched fists were any indication, “when they vivisected Phantom.”
“Yes.” The Regent continued, “Make no mistake, I uphold the Realms Law to the best of my abilities and expect my subjects and my council to do the same. We are a people and people have societies, societies have structures and without that, we would be no better than what the GIW claims us to be.” 
“Well spoken, My Lady.” Wonder Woman complemented, clearly taken by the Regent’s speech. 
“This is all gory and horrifying, but we still haven’t talked about preventing a bloody war.” 
While he’d been quietly observing the meeting, minor mutterings here and there, Constantine remained the only Dark member present. The Regent was somewhat fond of the Sad Man, even without having ownership over his soul (or the majority of shards) he would remain a fond memory for the Nightingales. 
 “My Lady,” the Magician belatedly addressed her, clearly having recalled to whom exactly he was speaking. 
“Constantine,” Batman warned, “we’ll get to that.” 
“Indeed we shall. In fact,” the Regent twirled a hand in a graceful motion “the Anti-Acto Acts is the main point of contention on the docket and allows that,” now she thrust a pointed finger at the Files’ section on ‘experimentation’, “to be legal.” 
“It’s been discussed, previously, to bring these laws before the UN with a censored version of the Ghost Files.” 
The Regent nodded almost immediately, “If you can, yes, but I would recommend leaking some of the data for the public to judge.” 
“Amity Park, for instance?” Superman asked, “Let the public choose a side and put pressure on the UN.” 
“Perhaps.” WW nodded, “Though there is likely chance that blame will be shifted onto the Ghosts solely for the damage.” 
“We can show the footage of the attacks that caused them.” Batman interjected, “As well as the videos of Phantom protecting Amity’s citizens at risk to himself.” 
The Regent agreed, “There are also videos of teenagers practicing drills for Ghost and Ghost Hunter attacks.” 
“What about sitting for an interview for a newspaper?” Superman suggested, “I can get a reputable reporter to conduct it.” 
“That can be done.” 
The Regent felt a slight tug on her Proto-Core, a shiver down her spine to follow- her little brother was trying to summon her back to him. Nothing urgent, not with just a slight tug, not an emergency. 
It had been quite a while here anyway and she missed her boys. 
“I’m afraid I am being summoned for a council meeting.” The Regent announced, “If I am needed again-“ 
She took a breath before turning to Batman, “You May summon me, Dark Knight, through your Lady’s Claim.” 
A friendly handshake with Superman, “Have your reporter meet me in the Ridge next Friday during the Witching Hours.” 
A clasping of arms with Wonder Woman, Warrior to warrior, “When this is settled, I would ask for a spar, Princess.” 
And the Regent was gone in a torrent of icy green-tinted mist. 
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A/N:
Happy new year!
I can't believe it's 2024 already! Feels like I just got used to writing 2023.
As always, thanks to the wonderful beta @meditating-cat, who also let me who use them as a sounding board for ideas for the Regent earlier. I cannot wait to write those ideas, let me tell you.
As always, if you have any song suggestions please feel free to share and check out the masterlist for the rest of the series. It's always updated afterwards!
Thanks for reading!
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purplelupins · 6 months ago
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Lamb
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|Midnight Mass|
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI
Father Paul Hill/John Pruitt x fem!reader
Word count: 12k
Summery: An entire life of being a good girl was a difficult cross to carry...especially in a tiny town with 127 residents on a good day. You kept the town fed and spirits as high as you could, but when a new face steps off the afternoon Breeze, things around you start to change; you don't even know you're in the eye of the storm.
Warnings: nsfw, reader is religious, religious symbolism, ideology, explanations and general conversations of religion, age gap (like this man is 80 technically and he watched reader grow up, and can remember reader as a little girl so if that’s creepy to you then go no further), stalking, manipulation,angst, murder (hello have you seen the show?), mentions of s*ic*de, drinking of blood, hunting of a person, grief, description of animal death, reader is described as blushing, character death, non consensual help showering, guilt and god maybe more but I think that’s it…this is not really a fix it fic
Notes:
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
It took your last bit of energy to tell Father John to leave you alone…that it was his fault. Your vision was fading fast; you had lost enough blood that you were dizzy, but your fear and exhaustion had your brain forcing your body to shut down out of self preservation. As darkness gripped you, you heard the Father shift away from the small door and then your head thumped with his heavy footsteps as he walked away.
Maybe he finally listened to you.
Maybe he would actually leave you there to slip into a comatose state and let you die just to hide his sins.
Your eyes dropped shut as you listened to muffled voices. Angry voices. You smiled a dazed smile, and the last thing you could understand was something about limits. You didn’t care what he said…not then. All you felt was dizzy darkness that was making you float.
It was so calm you didn’t want to give in to that nagging feeling of uneasiness. But that nasty emotion was battered away with a serene humming all around you.
You felt like you were a baby again…you wondered if your body was making you remember being cradled by your father. Was this death? Reliving your entire life in mere minutes before your soul left your body. As you felt yourself being held gently, you relaxed even more when the serene sound of low humming lulled you back into that darkness until you were asleep again.
That was all there was until your senses began to return to you one by one. You were somewhere soft and warm. It smelled familiar but not familial. You ached…and your tongue felt heavy. Breathing felt as if your body was operating manually; difficult and jaded.
Your eyes cracked open, and you slowly took in your surroundings as your consciousness sharpened. It had been a few times now that you had awoken in that bedroom, and each time it became more and more unwelcome. You pushed yourself to sit up and winced when you tried to inspect yourself; your neck and shoulder and jaw hurt something terrible. All at once, you were bombarded with memories of the bite. The panic you had felt in that moment as that man’s teeth had sunk into you returned as you went ridged in the bed. Did you die? Had you been turned?
Your eyes flicked around the room anxiously to ensure you were alone. It all felt akin to waking up as a child from a horrible nightmare, and even though you knew you were safe in bed, you anticipated monsters and ghouls to crawl out to capture you. But after a few moments of staring at every shadow and and corner, you decided that you were indeed alone.
You pushed yourself out of the bed, and timidly padded over to the small table by the window where you saw a pair of scissors among discarded gauze. At one time you might have thought things through a little more, but you were on your last nerve, in pain, and cornered, and you were beyond thinking. You crossed the small room to the cracked door, and pushed it open the rest of the way as quietly as you could.
You saw the back of Father Pruitt’s black halo of hair where he sat on the small couch.
He greeted you- that low timbre of his voice resonating inside your ears far more comfortably than it should have. Without another thought, you threw the scissors straight at him. It missed the back of his head, but you saw the stripe of red that was left on his ear after it ripped through his lobe.
John barely flinched. Pain had become something he was used to, and feeling your wrath was something he had to do.
“I apologize for the…” He said as he turned to you and stood, “The suddenness of everything. I hope it didn’t startle you too much.” John gestured to you.
Your mouth opened with some prepared reply, but then when he looked at you, you snapped your mouth shut. Your brow pinched in confusion, and you looked down at yourself. There was nothing that stood out to you, but then you noticed the change in your attire. You didn’t wear pants and a t-shirt to bed typically. And you particularly remembered being disappointed about how your nightie had been soiled by the blood.
And you were clean.
Oh…
Oh…
Oh god.
Your heart began to thud in your chest.
Why were you clean why were you changed why-
As you came to each realization, you returned your gaze to the Father, and he saw every ounce of shock and contempt there, “You- what did-“ you started, trying to find the right thing to portray your feeling of violation, “You- you took off…You washed me? You washed me.”
John shuffled a step and reached his hand out slightly to you, “I’m sorry…this thing is, you were quite a mess after your attack and you needed the rest…your clothes were soaked in blood and I just-“ he began to ramble.
“Wanted to help.” You finished for him.
Just like he always said.
The good Father nodded, but didn’t move any closer. It was as if John could sense a shift in you then. How your rage seemed to almost boil over as you stood there in his clothes, smelling like him, in his home. It was all too much after what had happened. What he had done. The life he took from you. The people he took from you.
You clenched and unclenched your hand.
Impulse took over, and you lunged towards the fridge, swiped a magnet off of it and threw it right at the imposing man before you. It bounced off his chest.
John sighed. He knew you needed to work through this.
“I’m sorry about what happened to you-“ he started again.
You threw a cup from the counter at him. It hit his head and toppled to the couch. Father Pruitt flinched slightly at the knock, but continued nonetheless.
“- I know you likely will decline, but …I think it would be best if you stayed here unt-“
The spoon you threw at him hit his arm, so you threw a knife too- it cut his cheek. You found a pot lid and threw that too.
It missed.
“-until you heal fully and I hold a town meeting with everyone.” John finished and closed his eyes as he found his patience for you.
He knew you heard him. Especially when you started throwing objects in rapid succession.
And the Father let you.
He could see the tears starting to pool in your eyes; he could practically taste them. Your suppressed emotions surged to the surface of your heart and exploded out of you in pandemonium. Everything you had wanted to do since Easter came out of you.
After several minutes, you slowed your attack. You stood only a few feet from him now after making your way along the kitchen counter to launch various debris at him, and his immobility only made you angrier. If angry was the right word…unsettled, frustrated, scared…it was all muddled together with guilt and grief and you found you didn’t know what you felt anymore.
When the older man didn’t move or even try to reason with you, you pushed away from the sink behind you and walked to him and slapped him square across the face.
Silence rang in your ears.
Your hand stung.
Did he even feel anymore?
The action seemed to stun both of you; you a little longer than he. John nodded as he blew some air out through his nose as if he finally understood something.
You needed to hurt him. And to John, he felt a great sense of peace in that.
“Go ahead.” He murmured to you.
You stood there, head craning up to look at him. For a moment you thought he might be patronizing you. then it was like every bit of restraint left in you ebbed away. Your hands balled up and began beating on him anywhere you could reach. You hit him and hit him and he waited. John watched you patiently, taking even breaths as you shoved at him and beat his body that wouldn’t bruise.
Your hands hurt. They likely sustained worse injury than he did from your hits.
Then all of a sudden, you stopped.
Father Pruitt watched as you sunk your head down, leaned your forehead against his chest, and sniffled. Wet patches began to dampen his shirt, and Father John had to suppress a sound of surprise. When you didn’t continue, and didn’t move away, he raised his arms from his sides, and wrapped you in them. His hands clasped together around your back like a bow keeping you tied. To the Father’s surprise, you nestled deeper into his embrace. Long, shuttering breaths wracked your chest against his that would catch in your soft throat every so often.
John was terrified he might do something or accidentally say something and break you out of your moment of submission. He closed his eyes and breathed in the calm. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had let him hold them so intimately.
Even when he and Millie reuinited after Easter…they never embraced for long. Over the decades, the closest he had come to embracing anyone would have seen when he consoled someone as they grieved. Perhaps it had been when you had let him dance in your living room…yes that must have been it.
John knew that the last time he had sat privately with Mildred when they were young they hadn’t embraced…it had felt like more of a meeting than an ending of a…whatever relationship they had had. Sneaking around when the island went to sleep. Hiding away during the storms…little touches when they passed eachother. Best friends in another life.
Now here you were…this sweet little young woman with hands holier than his; a man who had sworn a life dedicated to God.
He felt envy…among other things.
Yet another sin, but he couldn’t help it.
John knew that he had a tendency to ramble or fill space with words- an attribute he had learned over the years of being a priest. So he decided not to push anything in such a precious moment. He eased a hand up to your head and drew you closer into his chest, and softly shushed you. He hoped he resembled more of a man trying to comfort a young woman, but somehow he knew that his arms encircling you and that low hum of his voice soothing you was more akin to a hunter about to snap it’s prey’s precious neck.
The older man pushed that ill acknowledgment to the back of his mind.
“You’re not alone…you never will be.” he whispered into the crown of your hair after a long ten minutes of embracing you.
You sucked in a steadying breath.
“I don’t know if that’s comforting or terrifying, Father…” you replied, a small tremor in your hands as your temper settled under his touch.
He shrugged a little, though not condescendingly.
“It’s entirely up to you.” John sighed, “Only you can decide if loneliness is a blessing or a damnation…”
He was with you. There with you.
A long silence stretched on, then you sighed softly into his chest, and the warmth from your breath blossomed across his chilled skin under his clothes. The sensation made John’s hair stand on end with delight. You were trusting him.
It took two more minutes of contemplation on your part before you said anything. That question that had been on your mind since you woke up close to an hour ago. The question you should have asked him first. Now it prickled up the back of your neck begging to be asked.
“Am I…” you tried, but it was so quiet, “Did I…?” You couldn’t get the words out. You sighed and your shoulders sagged.
“Father am I a…?” You prompted him and looked up for any confirmation or denial.
John searched your eyes for just a second then he realized what you were asking.
“Wha- No!” He whispered almost relieved, “No you didn’t get-…you…you’re fine.” His hands squeezed you tighter as if to reassure you. Maybe himself, too.
You nodded and slowly pulled away from him; your arms hung limp at your sides. You stared up at his brown eyes that looked darker now than they used to.
You jumped when you felt his thumb wipe a few tears that fell. You hadn’t even noticed that you were crying again.
“My dear girl…You’re going to be fine…you’re alright.” He murmured to you.
And for the first time since Easter, you believed him.
And you wanted to.
Father Pruitt sighed and swallowed on the thickness in his throat.
“This…this is my fault- my fault and I-I see that now. It was always about God but it…it all went wrong, so wrong…” he whispered reverently as he remembered how long ago you truly had been okay. John’s eyes held yours as his voice broke.
“It did.” You agreed in a lofty murmur in an attempt to keep any more tears at bay.
He twitched a smile, but forced it away. He didn’t deserve to smile.
You looked down a little, then ventured a glance up as you spoke. “You…I think…I think it would just be best if you maybe revised the descriptions of angels in any of the holy books before jumping to conclusions next time, Father.” Your mouth twitched just as his had. You pursed your lips to hide the bitter amusement that pulled.
Father John breathed out some air he had been subduing.
“I think that would be best.” He nodded, and felt his heart soar at the sight of you accepting him a little. A fragile little bit. Precious.
The two of you stood silently in each other's space as you both seemed to bask in your current truce.
It was you who spoke first.
"I...I'll go home." You said, yet somehow it sounded forced. Rehearsed. You were so used to saying it and needing to get away that asking him if you could stay felt wrong.
It took him off guard, and he deflated a little. But he understood. He didn’t like it.
“You know you’re welcome here, sweetheart…” he reiterated, and offered you a small tight smile that he hoped hid how badly he wanted to beg you to stay.
You nodded, and fiddled with the edge of your- his- shirt. “I know…”
Another moment pulled on, and John was near to sinking to the floor for an answer.
“Can I make you coffee? I still have some I think.” He asked gently. Would you agree? If you did agree was it a sign that you would stay?
You wanted to shake your head, not wanting to ingest anything that wasn’t yours, but a fresh cup of coffee did sound like a godsend right then. And while you were still a little weary of him…you were willing to give him a chance. One.
“Okay.” You said.
John tilted his head to look at you a little better as he was flooded with joy.
“Yes? Good…good.” He hugged you again, but released you almost immediately. He was growing a little greedy with touch.
You fidgeted with your hands and stared down at how clean your nails were. Had he done that too? The skin on the soles of your feet almost itched and made you shift from the amount of attention you were receiving. Months of isolation could do that to a person.
“How do you take your coffee?” Father John asked as he pried himself away from your air. You shifted a little on your feet and told him how you took it, and he grinned- pleased that you accepted his offer.
Have faith…
That was what he told himself then as he watched you from the corner of his eye. He needed to have faith in you, and you in him. He needed to nurture the little faith you had left in you. Help you to thrive.
John knew he had to work slowly and steadily with you. He needed to remind you that he did have good in him, and that he too had once been a lamb just like you. Just another soul looking for salvation. Sadly he had thought he’d found it in a cave. He hoped you might find some semblance of salvation in him.
The anxiety you had felt upon waking still sat at the base of your skull and made your hair stand on end. That little voice of scepticism tickled your ear and made you shutter; you inched your way as little closer behind him as he filled the kettle and placed it on the stove. Watching.
John knew you were staring. You might have been the sweetest lamb in his flock but you hadn’t always been the best at being discreet. With your excitement, and your distain, your curiosity and boredom. At least not with the Monsignor. Evidently even now it was a force of habit that you let yourself be a little more honest around him.
When you saw him cross his arms as he waited, you stepped away and began picking up the various things you had thrown his way. The scissors, knife, spoon, recipe book, pot lid, among others. When you came to a mug you had hurled at him, you picked it up and meekly handed it to the man. He took it with a small smile.
The kettle boiled and steam made your cheeks flush from your spot beside the good Father while he poured the scalding water. John looked up at your watchful eyes, and his nose twitched in regretful humour. He wordlessly took his hands away from the small coffee press and began rolling his shirtsleeves up to his elbows, then showed you his empty, innocent hands.
“Nothing but a morning brew I assure you.” The older man said calmly.
The reassurance he offered you did little to cub your hesitation. You sucked in a breath and sighed. “Do you blame me?”
You had gotten so used to being weary around him that you were half expecting him to slip some blood into the strong drink.
He blinked and with missing a beat he said, “No.”
It seemed the two of you had some sort of unspoken understanding then. He wouldn’t hurt you and you would let him take care of you. You nodded your head, and turned away to pad over to the far wall to busy yourself with what books he had on his shelf. There were a few new ones you noticed.
Then your eyes slowly travelled over to the window, then to the newspaper clipping on the wall. You walked to it and stared at the grainy, youthful face that stared back at you. The same man who was behind you making you coffee.
You nearly hit the ceiling when the glass caught the reflection of the same face right behind you. You spun; startled at his proximity just a couple feet away.
“Sorry.” He said with a quick and slightly awkward smile as he offered you the cup. Those sharpened, white peaks poked out when his lips pulled back, and you were forced to remember that night again; the sounds still clear in your ears as islanders unleashed hell on one another.
You took the cup slowly, and gazed back at him for a moment before finally taking a sip. There was no metallic aftertaste. You sighed and closed your eyes. You needed that.
“Thank you.” You murmured to him, which he returned with a nod.
Tension kept you rooted to the spot, but you eventually managed to take a couple steps away, and gingerly moved past him to sat down on the small couch.
John didn’t want to crowd you too fast, and so stuck to picking up any remaining objects from earlier and washing a few dishes that had laid in the sink.
It was so quiet. While you were used to silence, you were not used to silence between people. You had been begging for an opportunity to talk to someone and here you were with exactly that, yet as fate would have it you couldn’t think of a word to say.
So you said the first thing you could manage.
“You swapped the cassock for jeans, hm?” You asked. It was stupid, but it had been something that made you shake your head with bemusement for months.
The jab at him made Father Pruitt’s brow jump and the lines beside his eyes deepen. Your humour had always been a welcomed companion even when you were little.
“Defiantly more inconspicuous.” He said, pausing to look back at you.
He missed you.
“Sure had everyone fooled…” You murmured. But he heard you…of course he heard you.
John pursed his lips and sighed quietly.
There was so much resentment and hostility inside you, and John knew that he put every bit of it there himself. You wouldn’t trust him on your own; you needed that guiding hand like he always had offered you. This time, he supposed, he faced the possibility of being nipped.
Father Pruitt was aware that you didn’t know every series of events following the vigil. You had run so fast and so far…so determined to stay alive. A crying lamb scattering away from the sharp blade that marked its fate with a red line.
The older man smiled bitterly, then moved slowly towards you.
“Can I sit, young lady?” He asked, coming around the edge of the small couch.
You watched him for a moment, then nodded and tucked yourself into one end of the couch to put space between you.
But then when John finally looked at you, he didnt know where to start.
You waited for a minute. When he still hadn’t spoken, you stared down at your coffee and blurted out another statement that had no rhyme or reason.
"Quite the cult following you have." You said.
Oh well done.
Months of loneliness truly had disintegrated your social skills.
But John’s head snapped up, and he laughed at the suddenness, "For a little while, yes...I did…I…the thing is, I thought it was their ability to hear God through me but…turned out they were more interested in what I had to say rather than God himself. They...they don't consider me much better than Judas now though and admittely I don’t blame them." He weaved his hands together in his lap and looked up at the ceiling.
You were surprised at the admission, "What do you mean?”
John sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “There is no short version of this for me to tell. But I’d like to tell you…” He said, leaning forward onto his knees, “Properly.”
You shifted a little at the seriousness in his voice, but supposed every story had a few sides to it, “Go ahead.”
“Thank you.” He said genuinely, “I’d like to start…I’d like to start from the beginning…”then he paused and thought, “No, no that’s not right. I’d like to start by saying that…you have every reason to resent my actions, and me. But I think it’s only right that you know everything.” He nodded to himself.
You looked down at the coffee in your hands as he spoke, but once he stopped, you slowly looked up at him. He was staring at you intently, as if gauging where to start. There was so much he needed to tell you and so much he wanted to tell you. He needed to tell you how utterly devastated he was by his selfish actions. He needed to tell you that he had been a coward for most of his life. He wanted to tell you that he missed you. He wanted to tell you that you were what kept him alive.
He supposed there was time for everything.
“When I was young…” he started quietly, “I was in love with a woman who I could not have…not that I’m supposed to have any- well, she was married. She was very devout to the church…a regular just like you were. Her husband was in the war and…she was alone…so alone…we…we let our feelings grow…I gave in and -…She had a daughter by me…Sarah…she had my eyes-“
“Doctor Gunning?” You blurted out, then your eyes widened,“You and Mild-“
“Yes.” He said absolutely, “Our lives were spent staring at eachother from across the church while I watched our daughter grow and I couldn’t even have the courage to come down and tell her…not until it was too late. Sarah…” he sucked in a breath as his throat tightened, “Sarah was shot…She died that night…Millie she…she was distraught in every sense. I tried to give her this gift of life so we could try together and it went all so wrong and it was only me to blame.” You watched him speak, and watched tears well in his eyes. You didn’t know he could make tears being what he was…but here you were with the man who had baptised you, weeping.
He swallowed and gathered himself, “Beverly she…she spun everything out of control. I meant what I said when I first came here, you know? That I’m-“
“-only here to help.” You echoed him.
He looked at you a little relieved that you were there with him.
“Yes. Yes exactly- I meant that. I told lies, but that was not one of them.” He assured you, “All I wanted was to help. To fix the mortality that keeps us from living every chance we desire…take something off of God’s hands but even saying that now out loud it’s foolish. I was foolish because God does not need help He is above help and only needs us to follow his will and somehow I thought I knew better. As a priest, I am supposed to let God speak through me, but at that time I was speaking for Him. Creating my own message…so clouded by this gift given to me that I couldn’t listen…and He was telling me to stop. But I didn’t.”
You didn’t say a word, and he continued.
“Then Bev she…I thought she was doing good and helping spread this gift and spreading the good word…but she…no she was even more clouded than I was. She spun everything until it was all so so wrong…she unleashed a living hell onto the rest of the island. Screams…God help me so many screams that night…”
“I know.” You choked out as you both shared the memory.
“And then it was quiet. So, so quiet. She wanted me to chose who lived and who died. She said it was always going to be me who chose and I realised then that she was no better than the pagans worshipping idols and false prophets…she had put me in ranks with our Lord’s messengers and sought to give me power that no man should be trusted with. As the sun rose, the island hid inside the rec centre and St. Patrick’s…but when the people needed aid and guidance, she made an enemy of herself. It wasn’t a week before the people turned on her and locked her out as the sun rose…now they govern themselves. I- I believe they resent me. We still hold Mass, but it’s so fascinating to witness the shift of a persons perception of you even if it is negative. It…it is…different. I pray that in time they will see that my intentions were only good. That I was merely lost.” Father Pruitt trailed off, and clasped his hands together- squeezing them as guilt gripped him.
“You…” you sat up, coffee gone cold ages ago as you tried to process everything he had told you. “You wanted to give yourself another chance with her…you just…wanted…to help.” You said, mostly to yourself, but John nodded.
“I did. I still do. Only now I truly mean it when I say I am merely a servant of God…to God. My guilt follows me everyday until I am ready to meet my fate…decide it is my last day and I feel the sun for the last time.” His voice broke and he stared at his loosely clasped hands, “Until I am…set free.”
You placed your cup down and settled back onto the couch. You knew this could all be an elaborate lie to manipulate you. You weren’t stupid. But when you finally looked over at him, there was such a startling vulnerability there staring back at you. Like he was baring his soul to you.
“She was your best friend, wasn’t she?” You asked slowly, shifting your gaze to a crack in the floor. “Mrs. Gunning.”
A smile twitched at his mouth, “A lifetime ago…”
You weighed his words, and thought.
There had been so many times now where he had failed to lend his help; that cumulated with his ability to twist words and situations to his betterment did not provide him with the most wonderful track record.
“You’ve lied to me.” You whispered.
“I did, yes.” He replied. Honesty. Have faith.
“You…you manipulated me,” You swallowed, “When I trusted you.”
“Yes.” His voice was hoarse with regret. He wanted so badly to tilt your head to look at him.
“You regret it.” You stated.
“I do. Every day.” He shifted a little closer to you. So minutely. Just a little bit.
“Can you help me?” You asked quietly.
At that, his head perked up, and he finally caught your eye. “Anything.” He meant it.
You were everything now. Perhaps you had been everything all along.
You considered your request carefully.
“Can you stop them?” You were meek and didn’t expect much. Honestly you were expecting him to give you an answer that would make you want to ask more questions.
As you stared back at him, you felt as if he was taking you in for the first time. Like he was memorizing every ounce of you that he could see, and you felt suddenly very aware of your skin and your hair and the teeth in your mouth.
John considered what might happen if he stood up for your absolute safety from the rest of the community. Many of them had become domesticated and had settled into their existence, but many were still resentful, vicious creatures of his own making. And in their eyes, you were their forbidden fruit. Perhaps you would become even more enticing to them with his authority over you. Regardless of the steady supply of blood to the island, he knew they craved the warmth of a live body to suckle. He was beyond well aware of the craving because, admittedly, he too coveted your tender flesh. John so wished he was far above such vulgarity, but he still found himself having to remind himself that you were sacred. Untouchable. That he was not to pin you down under his weight and expose your neck and bite into your fragile skin…
It would be a lie if he said that there weren’t nights where he was particularly hungry and he didn’t find himself imagining smelling your hair as he drank from you…he had gotten lightheaded by the thought alone and prayed for the remainder of the night.
But John had control.
“I can. Yes I can help you.” He nodded, “I’ll need your faith though.”
You stared at him. He knew exactly what you were thinking, and it pained him. John took your hands in his, and knelt down in front of you as he spoke.
“One more time. I promise…just one more time.” He assured you.
You pursed your lips, and vaguely looked out the window.
“I can’t keep doing this…I’m…I’m so exhausted.” You half laughed out of spite.
Father Pruitt nodded.
“I know…I’m so sorry I know you are.” There was that break in his voice again. Like he was on the verge of tears. “You are on such a higher level than I am in God’s eyes. He sees you and He is testing you. And you…you are doing so well.”
“I don’t feel like I am, Father.” You weren’t sure why you were being so honest. There was something magnetic in the man that pulled your heart from you so carefully that you didn’t even feel it.
“Tell me what you feel.” He squeezed your hands. You twitched at the contact, having not touched anyone for so long. His hands were soft…so soft.
You were nervous to open up to him completely.
John could almost feel your apprehension.
“Please, I am the one who put you here in this situation, in this…life. Please make me know your pain.” He whispered.
You looked down at your joined hands, and bit the inside of your lip to keep from crying.
“Tell me what is happening to you.” He urged you one more time in a whisper. And you felt a single tear fall from your eye and onto his thumb. He wished he could encapsulate that tear and keep it- precious.
Your last bit of restraint crumbled under his desire to help you.
“I…I feel washed out from the shore,” you choked out, “Like…like no matter how hard I try, I get dragged back out by a squall that just wont stop. It doesn’t matter how many times I gather my strength…I can’t get back. I feel like I’m in some foreign land and no one is there. And all it’s going to take is one wave that’s a little too big and a little too strong that I won’t be able to get over…and I’ll be gone. Lost under the surface.” Another tear fell onto your hands.
Father Pruitt stared at you, barely blinking as he regarded you.
“Giving in sounds so much easier than whatever it is I have to do everyday.” You shook your head; you hadn’t said any of these thought out loud, and now hearing them made your heart ache even more.
It would be a lie if John said he didn’t know how you felt. There had been many a time where he considered giving in…burning. But each time he would remember you, and how cowardly he would feel if he abandoned you there. He would see that photograph that sat in your hallway of you on Easter as a child in his mind and manage to make it through another day.
“I remember your baptism…” John said after a moment, “You hated it…” he laughed a little, “But when I gave you back to your mother you were fine…resilient and glowing. I have faith that you will weather this. The waters may be stronger, but you’re still that same soul.”
You felt your tears fall, “This time you can’t hand me back to my mom though.” You laughed a little at the ridiculousness of it.
He sighed and looked around the small house for a moment then moved and sat down beside you, and opened his arms to you. You eyed him wearily, but he only waited. He had done the same gesture to you many times over the years. Helped you when you had slipped and scraped your knee, or when your father lost his temper when you got ice cream on your dress on Easter…when you got sick and missed Mass. Always gentle and paternal, but not nearly as intimate as this. Your soul was bared to him now. It was no mere injury or heart ache.
You were grieving.
And he would guide you through it.
You took a deep breath, and scooted closer to him. You felt one of his arms wrap around your shoulders, and draw you into his chest. Your shoulders were ridged for a moment, then as your anxiety waned, and he drew small circles on your back with his thumbs, you relented. You timidly brought your arms around his shoulders and what was meant to be a hug turned into you clinging to him.
“I hate you.” You mumbled. It wasn’t a lie. Not a whole truth either but it was the only thing you could get out.
The Monsignor sighed out an amused breath. You could truly be so curt when you wanted to.
“Hate is such a strong word…used to express how despicable and irredeemable a person is…and I understand. I’ll admit I’m not my biggest fan either.” He agreed.
You laughed.
It was pained, but you laughed.
You sunk into his embrace a little more, minding your neck and shoulder to not disturb the injury too much. He nosed your hair, and settled into the cushions with you in tow.
Your heart clenched when you tried to recall the last time you had been embraced by someone for so long and unrushed. You only grew sadder when you truly could not remember.
You didn’t know when you fell asleep. What you did know was that you were opening your heavy eyes, and your body was warm and relaxed. You slowly took in where you were, and found that you were still in Father Pruitt’s arms.
There was a rumble against your ear, and you noted that it was him sighing. Your hand was gripping his shirt like a lifeline, and he still held you to his chest. And oddly enough, you felt safe. Wrapped in the embrace of the person who terrified you. Friends closer and enemies closer you supposed.
You slowly pulled away from him, and looked up at his face and he stared down at you. Your noses brushed for a moment, and you felt your breath hitch. He didn’t dare move- like a hunter about to shoot his beloved doe.
“Don’t leave me.” You whispered, warm air wisping against his lips.
He knew it then just as you knew it.
You were lost without him. And not in a way that made you reliant on him for your saving, but instead made him responsible for your healing.
“I won’t.” He murmured earnestly. He would always be a part of you; he had single-handedly etched himself into your life, and even if you left him right in that moment…he would somehow still be with you.
You pursed your lips, and fought the sting in your eyes as tears threatened to spill over again.
Then just as you started to pull from him and stand, John spoke. “Stay…” he said almost pleadingly.
You paused and looked at him as he rose to stand with you.
“Please, just…just for a day or two, you’re not fully healed.” He added, shifting a little as he stumbled over his words, “ I need…I need to speak with the town too…I may not look it anymore but I’m still their elder and they will hear me.”
You paused.
Redemption. You were letting him redeem himself in someway. His offer, while likely coming with good intentions, still made you nervous. You knew what they were like when they were hungry. And Father Pruitt was turned for longer than them, so either he had better control than the rest or he was even hungrier-
“You will not be harmed here, I swear.” He said, “I want to help you.”
You stared up at him, still thinking. You wanted to be helped…at this point you needed it. You were losing yourself completely to solitude.
He whispered your name.
“I need- need to help you. You’re lost…you said it yourself- how hard everyday is for you…and I have to take most of that blame. The thing is, I gave you so much security and assurance when I returned that now you cannot move on from this traumatic point in your life without my help. Let me help you…I know the horror you feel there in your heart- I- I saw it all too. Felt it. No one else could do that for you. Let me help you.” He whispered, hands coming to rest on your shoulders as he spoke, “Please…I need to.”
You bit at the side of your tongue, but found yourself growing weaker in resolve; you weren’t sure if it was from the wound still closing on your shoulder or from the way his dark eyes entranced yours as he spoke to you like you were the most important thing in the world in that moment. But the desperation in his voice ensnared you.
“…Okay.” You whispered back.
John nodded, a rush of air spilling from his lungs.
“Thank you…” he whispered back, and pulled you close, one hand on the back of your head, and the other around your ribs; careful to not disturb your wound, “I’m…I’m going to take care of you.”
Those words alone had your nose tingling as tears began to rise to your eyes, but you sniffled and fought them back.
The remaining hours of the winter daylight were only a few, and you spent them wrapped in a blanket that smelled of the man sat at his desk.
A respectful distance away from you.
Old fashioned.
You laughed a little to yourself when you looked at him so concentrated in his grey jeans and sweater. You wondered if he was more vibrant when he was young. Or was he always an old soul at heart?
“Old man…” you breathed out absentmindedly into a cup of broth he had made you.
“Deprecation is not in good manners, young lady.” He murmured back to you, and you nearly choked.
You forgot that he could hear the tiniest of whispers.
“S-sorry…it just…funny to see Monsignor Pruitt in jeans.” You said, cheeks warming.
John grinned.
“Ah…yes well…I can’t say I’ve worn them since I was a young boy…always saw the young parishioners wearing them by the 80’s and I always wondered what drew people to wear them so often…I won’t lie they are a little stiff at first.” He said in good humour, looking up from his writing.
You held his gaze for a minute, then nodded, “They suit you, Father.”
Your comment caught him off guard, and you chose to let him sit in that slight discomfort. So instead of saying another word you just smiled a little then turned away from him and nestled into your blanket a little more.
A half hour passed before either of your spoke again. This time it was he who approached you.
You were nodding off when you heard him walk over to the couch and crouch in front of you.
“We gotta change your dressing.” He whispered gently, patting your knee. His eyes flickered over your face as he tried to discern how you were feeling. What you were feeling.
You drew your heavy eyelids up and curled in on yourself, “Can we do it later?” You mumbled- already half asleep and so comfortable that you finally knew what those cinnamon rolls you used to make felt like.
“I know…I know…c’mon, hold onto me.” He slipped his hand under your blanketed legs and hoisted you up to walk you to the bathroom. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and buried your face there.
“There we go…good girl, just sit there for me and I’ll be right back.” He sat you down on the small counter, and retrieved the gauze from the bedroom before returning to you. You peeled your eyes open to watch him work. He snipped the fabric to have it ready quickly, then took a deep breath before gently removing the medical tape that kept your old dressing in place.
“Father it hurts…”You hissed a little at the sting and ache of the wound and how some of the gauze was stuck to the edge of the wound and pulled.
“Shh…shh…there you go,” he cooed to you. You then heard him swallow as the bite was exposed.
“That bad?” You asked.
The good Father blinked and took a steadying breath, “No- no not at all. Healing well actually…just…uh- just it- well…it’s- you’re doing good.” He stumbled over his words as he cleaned around the skin.
You looked up at him now, and he seemed to catch your sobered expression.
“I’m fine.” He said reassuringly.
And you nodded.
“I’m going to take care of you.” He repeated, then tossed the bloodied wipe into the bin and began bandaging you up.
“There you go…good as new.” John didn’t smile; he was almost looking for your approval. Still uncertain. He was almost waiting for you to say that you had enough and that you’d leave. But it didn’t come.
You nodded and let him help you into bed, and he felt a little reassured.
But then as he went to go after bringing your blanket up to your neck, he felt your hand grab his sleeve, and he paused and knelt beside you. Your eyes were closed and your breathing was already slowing.
“Thank you John…” you whispered.
The older man felt tears well in his eyes, but he swallowed and leaned his forehead to your hand.
“I will make this right…” Father Pruitt said quietly to himself. He watched you fade away, and found himself tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear before leaving you to rest.
You slept well into the evening, long past sunset.
When you awoke, the room was dark aside from the sliver of light from the cracked door. You blinked slowly, willing your weariness to go away as you slipped from the bed and to the floor; the cold wood sobered you a little as you padded to the door.
“You must be hungry.”
You jumped at the soft voice from the kitchen.
You pushed the door open and meekly looked out into the main room- your eyes adjusting to the light.
John was stood over a small pot that he stirred occasionally on the stove. It was only then that you smelled that he was making, and your stomach growled in recognition of food.
John hid his grin well when he heard your hunger.
“My mother used to make this all the time when we needed some healing…physical or mental…tell me if it needs anything I…I can’t really taste it.” He said gently, raising his bowed head to look at you. John stood with a spoon full of the soup as he waited for you to decide, and he felt a swell of pride in him when you slowly started to walk to him.
You tried to hide the fact that your stomach was doing flips at his gesture. You couldn’t recall the last time someone had made you food.
“Open…” He breathed out, and you parted your lips; his eyes caught your pink tongue just inside your mouth as you accepted the spoon. A detail he didn’t know what to do with.
You let the taste fill your mouth.
It was good.
Really good.
You swallowed and nodded, “Thank you…it’s really nice. Just a little more salt, please.” You wrung your hands as you spoke.
The older man nodded, and watched you turn away to sit on one of the chairs in front of his desk. A shiver ran through you then, and you sighed as you begrudgingly went to stand to retrieve a blanket.
John turned to bring you a bowl of soup, and quickened his steps when he saw you getting up. “What do you need?” He asked.
“I’m just a bit cold.” You said, and went to move past him but his large hand caught your arm.
“Sit, I’ll get you something.” John sat you back down and placed to soup in front of you while murmuring something about the liquid being hot. You watched him disappear into his bedroom then reappear just a moment later with a pair of thick socks, and a blanket.
“Oh thank yo- …Father what-…” you went to take the socks from him but he knelt in front of you and tucked the blanket around your hips and thighs, then began putting the socks on your feet like it was the most normal thing in the world.
John’s eyes caught your surprised stare, and blinked up at you, “Eat up, sweetheart or it’ll get cold.” He hummed.
You felt your ears grow warm, but you didn’t dare open your mouth to protest and tell him you could take care of yourself. You also decided to ignore the warmed that gathered behind your navel. So without another word, you turned and began to eat what he gave you. You sighed as it went down your throat; you didn’t know how you had managed to make it this long without some kind of human connection.
“I have Mass tonight.” John said and he stood and sat behind his desk- sorting through his papers.
You looked up from your bowl and nodded. Your anxiety rose slightly at the prospect of being alone after what had happened.
Evidently he heard your heart rate spike, and his focus broke from the papers and jumped to you instantly.
“You will not be harmed. It will only be a couple hours. I have the only key to the rectory after Bev- after she…passed. I’ll be speaking with the island tonight…I put in a word for all to attend tonight.” The priest spoke earnestly.
You peered up at his direct gaze, and sighed then nodded. “Okay.”
He returned the gesture, “Okay.” He whispered.
You watched him gather his things, and found yourself surprised by how your eyes followed him around the modest house as he readied himself. You startled yourself with the realization of how attached you were becoming to his presence, and you quickly looked away from him.
John sighed and grabbed his notebook then came to crouch down in front of you. “If anyone knocks, go into the cellar…if anything happens, open the back window and you come to me.” He said firmly.
Your eyes flickered between his, “Okay.”
He grinned a little and patted your cheek lightly, “There’s a good girl…eat, and have more water.” He pointed to the kitchen and you watched him leave. The lock clicked into place.
You felt alone again.
Although this solitude was not altogether uncomfortable. Just quiet.
You could hear voices approach the church and wander nearby. Unease churned in your guts as they drew close, and you chose to relocate to the bedroom. You filled another bowl of soup and shuffled to the back of the house where you cocooned yourself on Father Pruitt’s bed. A wince escaped you when you laid down wrong, and you rolled your shoulder to try to ease the pain. It was more of a dull ache now that throbbed every so often.
You downed the soup, and curled in on yourself. You wanted so badly to shower…to brush your hair and feel more like yourself. You felt far more exhausted than you should have; you wondered if the bite had come with some sort of poison that your body was fighting off.
Sleep took you before you could stop it. It wasnt until you felt a large palm against your cheek that you started to wake up. You nestled into the hand and burrowed yourself deeper into the pillows below your head.
Then you could hear your name being said softly.
After several minutes, you cracked your eyes open. When you did, you were given a bit of a fright.
John was leaned over you just a foot away as he tried to rouse you from your sleep. What startled you however was how the light from the living room caught his eyes and made them glint in the darkness like the cats that used to populate Crockett.
“Sorry,” he whispered, and backed off a touch, “It’s been a few hours…just need to check your dressing.”
You sighed and while you truly did not wish to move from your spot, you did not want an infection in the middle of winter.
“‘S okay…”you mumbled as you got up.
Father Pruitt gingerly pulled your shirt’s neck down and removed the bandage. You were healing, slowly.
“Father?”
John blinked and looked at you, “Yes?”
“Could I take a shower?” You asked. It had been almost two days, and you could feel yourself growing itchy.
The older man ground his teeth for a moment at his lack of care for you.
“Of- of course. The uh…the bite is healed enough that you can wash up under warm water.” He began looking anywhere but at you as he was reminded of how he had cleaned you.
You nodded and slipped past him into the small bathroom, “Um…do you have some clean clothes?” You asked timidly. You hated that you had to keep asking him for help; John on the other hand was elated.
“Y-yes just let me…um…” he began searching through his clothes and found you some pants and a shirt that would likely be warmer than what you had currently. The pants you would likely have to roll up.
You found a little amusement in how he seemed to be so uncomfortable; it wasn’t that it was sweet or gentlemanly, it was that you had been so distressed for so long because of him, and you enjoyed seeing him in the same position.
“Thank you.” You said, and left him there to wash yourself.
John released a breath that relieved a little of the pressure on his chest when you closed the door. He needed to do more than his best for you, and you seemed to be very aware of that. Knowing that you needed him to be better made him unable to relax. John knew he could be cowardly, and selfish, and very wrong, but he was going to do his damnedest to be more than his mistakes and sins. Even if it was the last thing he did.
When you returned to the living room, you found Father Pruitt standing with the rectory telephone pressed to his ear as he looked out one of the windows. You felt your stomach sink at the thought of him telling anyone you were there. But then again, they likely already knew.
“Yes…yes it seemed to go well…blunt or not, they needed the line drawn. No, just wait. I wou-…y/n, it’s okay, sweetheart, you can come out.” He called to you as he paused his conversation.
You timidly shuffled out the door and peeked over at him. He held his hand out to beckon you over as he hummed and mumbled a few things over the phone. You padded over to him, and he kept his gaze trained on you once you came within reach.
John reached up and tucked a few hairs behind your ear and touched your chin gently, “Good…and they understand?…good,” he said, “Yes…she’s strong. Alright. Take care.” He extended his arm to place the phone back on the receiver, and sighed, “Annie.” He said.
Your heart squeezed, but didn’t say anything.
“She’s worried about you,” John hummed, “I spoke to the island last night. Instilled the fear of their god into them lest they touch you again.” His voice lacked any malice or anger, in fact it was very calm, but there was no hiding how tight his jaw was.
You nodded, and tugged at the blanket you had wrapped around your shoulders.
“Father?” You asked him.
“Hm?” He hummed.
“I want to take a walk.” You said.
John stopped looking at your bandage and focused on you, “I don’t-“
“And I want you to come with me.” You finished.
That surprised him, but pleased him greatly.
“Lead the way, young lady.” He cracked a small grin.
You nodded, and disappeared back into the bedroom to find the socks he had given you and a sweater. When you returned, you frozen in your place when you saw him shrugging on that long black coat that was older than you.
“You kept it…” you mumbled.
Father Pruitt paused and looked down at himself, “Ah…yes well I suppose we all have things we grow attached to.”
You pursed your lips, and pulled the sweater you had taken a little tighter before you walked to your shoes and slipped them on. They were clean now, no longer muddy and full of grass.
John joined you by the door, and you looked up at his as he opened the door. He seemed to feel your pause, and turned his attention to you.
“You’re safe.” He whispered earnestly.
There was a calm that came over you then. You didn’t necessarily want to trust him, but you had told yourself that you would let him try to redeem himself. Trusting him was the first step.
You nodded, and stepped outside into the early morning air. The winter temperature made you shiver, but the crisp air was refreshing. You took a slow step out onto the grass, and looked back at Father Pruitt who stood at your shoulder like a guard.
A guardian angel.
You almost laughed at the thought.
He nodded, and placed a gentle hand on your back to encourage you. You truly hoped he was being sincere and wasn’t guiding you into the hungry mouths of the islanders. That this hadn’t all been an elaborate lie.
The frosty dirt and gravel under your feet crunched far too loudly. You could only imagine how loud it was for the man beside you. He chose not to comment.
John couldn’t have cared less about the sound of the road you walked on; he was far more occupied with listening for any islanders nearby, or that winged monster. He didn’t know who had done it, but whoever had cut holes into its wings had done Gods work. Forever contained to Crockett.
The two of you made it almost into town without incident. As you passed the marina, there were several old fhishermen maintaining their boats. Men you used to feed and laugh with. It look mere seconds for them to smell you and hear your heart. One by one their heads snapped up.
You could feel your natural instinct to run, but you felt that hand on your should and farm around your back that steadied you as you and the father stared back at the men.
You sucked in a breath, and turned to the older man, “I’m okay.” You said quietly.
John turned his attention to you, and his clenched jaw loosened.
The two of you moved on through the town. Left and right, heads poked out from windows and people stopped to stare at the pristine lamb walking through their den. Neither of you said a word as you passed the general store, and your old shop.
“Y/n?”
You stopped in your tracks. That voice broke your heart with just your name. You looked over past Father Pruitt, and saw Ali just several feet from you with Warren.
You couldn’t breathe all of a sudden as the memory of burying his father flooded you after so long of you praying to forget it.
“Ali.” You whispered.
The boy took a few tentative steps towards you, then almost ran to you and held you tight. You knew he wasn’t the most affectionate teenager, but as he gripped you, you could almost feel his own sorrow. You pushed the pain of the wound away even as his arm pressed on it.
“Thank you…” his voice came from your uninjured shoulder.
You embraced him and rubbed his back gently, “He loved you, Ali…he still does.” Your voice broke, but tears wouldn’t fall.
He sniffled, and tightened his grip, then slowly pulled away. You noticed how he wouldn’t look at the men beside you. In fact many didn’t. Perhaps he had told the truth about being ostracized.
“I’m sorry…I’m- I should have listened to you I’m sorry-“ he started to ramble.
You shook your head, “Ali…Ali it’s done,” you whispered, then remembered something his father had told you, “Inshallah God will have mercy on you. If I meet him before you, I’ll put in a good word.” You smiled a little, and he stared at you like you had given him the best possible news.
“Thank you…thank you.” He hugged you one more time, before you let him go, and began walking again.
John watched you from the corner of his eye every so often as you made your way through town. He was pleased that he only had to ward off a couple islanders who got a little too curious, and he noticed how you could subconsciously lean into his side when he did.
You house was always a no-go zone for anyone. Especially after your attack. That night when he addressed the islanders, John hadn’t been that angry since Easter…hadn’t yelled so venomously in so long. Now your home sat peaceful and empty.
He watched you gather the things you wanted and needed and stuffed them into a duffle. Photos and books and things that held memories or that you held dear to you. Things that could make anywhere feel like home. Clothes and shoes and snacks. You muttered occasionally to yourself, and gazed longingly at your stand mixer sitting on your counter as you passed it. You missed being you. You missed…living.
You might have stayed and reminisced a little longer, but the sun wouldn’t stay down forever. With just a few more things placed into the bag, you pulled it over your shoulder and walked back to the door where a Father Pruitt stood waiting.
He extended his hand out to you, and you stared at it a little confused, then he nodded to your bag, “I’ve given you enough of a burden to carry in this life.” John didn’t wait for you to hand it to him- he slipped it off your shoulder and onto his like it weighed nothing, then opened the door for you. You grabbed a coat off the pegs by the door, and slipped it on over your borrowed clothes.
Your fingers ached from the cold as you walked back across the island. You buried them into your pockets, and kept your gaze ahead as you went. Just as before, several heads turned as you went by. Your stomach hurt when you saw Annie standing with Ed in their doorway as you passed by. It had been almost 10 months since you saw them, and now you almost felt estranged.
You had begun to notice that whether you wanted to acknowledge it or not. But you truly didn’t belong anymore.
As your journey passed by that gap in the brush by the shore, you paused and began towards it to visit the halo of stones. You crouched down onto the cold earth, and placed your hand over the now-framed photo of Hassan and Ali on his grave.
You sighed, and looked up at the dark sky, “Put in a good word for me, too.”
John swallowed any words that tried to worm their way out. He didn’t deserve to comment. Instead, he stood by and watched you wipe off your knees as you straightened up, and continued on.
The two of you began to come up to the rectory, but then just as you went to turn down the path, you stopped again. You thought for a moment, then turned to the Father.
“Can I take you one more place?” You asked.
“Of course.” He said, and quickly placed your bag inside before joining you again. This time, you continued on past the church and towards the other side of the island.
You slowly led him out to the Uppards, and you walked him over to a patch in the grass that you now knew well. You sat, and patted the spot beside you, “Sit.” You said.
John took the place next to you, and stared out at the water.
“This was where I sat that night.” You said into the wind, “Waiting…”
John watched you, pain clinging to his chest. He had wondered where you had run. What shelter you had made for yourself.
“I tried to keep Leeza and Warren safe, I really did but…it just wasn’t enough,” your broken whisper came out in puffs of vapour. You could feel those emotions you had been certain were guarded start to rear their heads.
John so badly wanted to comfort you…to offer something. But your heart was racing and your breathing was heavy. You needed to say more and he wasn’t going to deprive you.
“He-…” you tried, “He was a good man, Father. Hassan just…he just…wanted some place quiet and safe for Ali…he died being hated but he deserved so much more. Ali deserves so much more and you took that.” Your cheeks warms as that rage began to seep into you.
“I did,” He said finally, voice hoarse, “I did take that and I’m so…so sorry and I wish I could give it all back…” he shook his head and looked over at you as he spoke. You met his gaze and pursed your lips, “There are no words that I could say now or in a hundred years that could express my sorrow to you.” He spoke earnestly.
You sighed, and stared at him, “And what about me?” You whispered.
His breath caught.
“What about me, Father?” You asked.
He thought for only a moment, “I took so much from you…I think the only thing I didn’t take was your faith. I told you…that night…to have faith. The thing is, you do have it. Your ability to believe in good and better is…astounding. You are…so good. And I hurt that. I cannot tell you how guilty I am. I was greedy.” John said honestly, “With so much, but especially with you, I was greedy. They say God mends wounds in time- physical, mental and emotional…but I would place no blame on you if you didn’t heal from what I put you through. You were so bright…so loved…just…Lord so beautiful. So beautiful inside and out and I was a coward for much of my life trying to hide that ugliness and I envied you. I am…so, so sorry.”
The older man looked away from you to stare out at the dark water. You felt a stray tear fall down your cheek at his words. He had hurt you, but you hadn’t expected it to be more than skin deep.
“I hurt something because I found it sublime and I wanted it to last forever. I was…cruel. I was cruel. I didn’t notice the destruction that came with it. And I’m sorry.” John looked back at you, and you noticed the glassiness in his eyes. A few tears fell.
The two of you sat in silence for a few moments. It might have been an hour that passed before you slowly reached over to him and grasped his hand. He was almost instantaneous in holding it in return.
“What’s it like, Father?” You asked, and looked over at him.
He returned his attention to you, “What’s what like, little one?”
You stared back at him and took in his handsome face. His dark hair that fell a little over his forehead, his dark eyes and full brows. It took a moment of your staring for him to realize you were asking about the… “gift”.
He paused and sucked in a breath before shaking his head, “Well you…you see things you’ve never seen and heard things you never thought you would be able to…smell things you didn’t know could be smelled. I could hear the flowers blooming when I stood close enough…the world breathes. Sings…glows brighter…magnificent.” John thought aloud, looking around him until he came back to you, “But too much of a good thing is bad.” He smiled bitterly.
You blinked, and nodded.
Father Pruitt squeezed your hand, and sighed, “I may not feel the cold but you do. C’mon sweetheart, let’s get you back.” He stood, and pulled you up with him.
You didn’t protest, and let him guide you out of the brush and onto the path. He took you through the marshy woods and along the stone road until you neared the rectory. You noticed then how it was starting to get lighter out. You slowed your steps as you came to the grass, and stopped completely.
John felt you stop moving and looked back at you. His brows pitched up in confusion, “Are you alright? What’s wrong?” He asked, fearing your wound had opened up or you had gotten ill.
But you just stared up at him and waited. A beat passed between you where he looked around and inspected you, trying to figure out why you wouldn’t move, then it dawned on him. John stopped looking around, and tilted his head down to gaze back at you. Seconds ticked by and the world around you grew brighter and brighter.
And you waited.
But the Father wouldn’t move. You saw his eye twitch when the warm glow started to break through the trees.
That was enough.
You took his hand and tugged him along where he scooped up your bag that had been resting on the stoop and entered the rectory just as the sun rose. Neither of you commented on what had just happened, not that you needed to. You wanted to see if he had been truthful; did he honestly want to change and stop being a coward? Would he die for you if that was your wish…as someone who he had taken everything from and manipulated.
You felt yourself soften towards him after that night.
For once, he told you the truth.
You let him take your jacket off and watched his hands unzip it. You took your bag and placed it in his room, where you opened it up and slowly took everything out. You felt silly grabbing so many things that you didn’t need…but not having them felt stranger.
You pulled out a fresh pair of your own clothes and didn’t think twice before you lifted up your borrowed shirt.
John Pruitt, ever the gentleman and holy man, froze when he caught sight of you through the open door. He might have chastised you for being so careless if it was anyone else, but he couldn’t get the words out. He saw the curve of your back and swell of-
Turn around John.
He spun on his heel and grabbed a book off his shelf and sat on his couch, facing the very opposite of where you were. It took a few more minutes of you shuffling through your things before you padded back out to him. You passed the couch and placed a pair of your shoes by the door. John could smell your scent again now that it wasn’t muddled with his clothes.
Then you came back and plopped yourself down beside him and leaned over to his shoulder to see what he was reading. “What’s this, Monsignor?” You asked softly.
The title gave him pause and he looked up from the pages.
“It um…it’s a collection of German fairytales.” He mumbled, only now realizing what he was reading.
You leaned closer, and laughed quietly, “Didn’t know you were German.”
“Oh I’m not- it was a gift…many years ago. Decades…Christmas I think. People seem to have the idea that priests lack any fear and don’t like a nice ending for stories. I’ll be honest, y/n this book always scared me a little.” John turned the page and grimaced at one of the illustrations.
“Be not afraid…” you whispered quietly. Those words made his heart ache; words meant to help and comfort were now tainted by his own doings.
You both quietly sat there, not saying a word. As you slowly let you guard down, you could feel yourself starting to recover after months of running on nerves and willpower. Your head grew heavy on his shoulder, and John realised after a minute that you had fallen asleep. He remained where he was and shifted you so your legs were across his lap and your face was in his chest. The last thing you needed was an aching back.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
@ellies-dad-jokes @littleredwritingcat @zaunite-leo @f4er1e-g1rl @purplemotif @vampyre-kin @hamishlinklaters @spacechupss @pansexualpamandabear @ebiemidnightlibrarian @erialuna @nilla-bear @vintageglassheart02 @ethanhoewke @dancingisdangerouss @cherrysugarx @daisychainsinknots @thesoundresoundsecho
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theblue6ook · 8 months ago
Text
Shit Interview PT 2
Summary: Interestingly, Y/N meets Alfred Pennyworth, and he offers her a new interview for a different assistant position? She's hesitant but decides to take the opportunity. Little did she know who she'd be working for. [B (23) & Y/N (21)] [Eventual slow burn with Bruce]
Pairing: Bruce Wayne x fem!reader
a/n: Well hello there. If you liked this story, it’s a part of my “Out of My League” series. There will be more to come ;)
John and Alfred chattered along, making pleasant conversation. Y/N had politely said hello when introduced, but since then, she firmly planted her feet in front of the petunias. When Alfred arrived... well, it was embarrassing to say the least. There was a silence after his greeting with John, and Alfred seemed like a smart man; he clearly noticed the tense energy between them. It made her want to crawl out of the flower shop on her hands and knees.
She drew in a deep breath, it was time to escape. Moving down the back end of the aisle she was in, Y/N tried to wander towards the front of the store… nonchalantly. She stepped around the cracked tile and drains carefully. This shouldn't be hard. She knew this store like the back of her hand. Scooting around the bags of soil in the corner, Y/N was in the last aisle near the front of the store. She felt guilty she had nothing to bring to Carrie, but flowers die anyway. She shrugs to herself, I’ll grab some Chinese food on the way home, and she’ll be just as happy-
Her heel snagged on a hose. A hose that is not normally lying on the floor, so much for a stealthy exit. She tried to gather her balance, but her foot literally flew out of her stationary heel and sent her flying forward. “Shit.”
“Y/N!” John watched, bewildered, as Y/N disappeared behind the back of the potting corner. “What are you doing-”
“Yeah, that hose should really be up on the rack, John,” she quipped. Frustration tore through her, and her palms dug into the tile floor. I might actually have to crawl out of the store on my hands and knees. She felt a tug on her shoulder. 
“Stop playing on the floor,” he smiled down at her. “You okay?”
She sighed and pulled herself off the ground, “That’s a safety hazard. I should report you.”
“Okay, tough girl, let me get you that arrangement for Carrie, and then I’ll get out of your hair,” he teased, pulling her towards the register. She stood by Alfred as John passed the oak door behind the counter. “Let me just add some finishing touches. I’ll be quick. Don’t let her leave without it, Alfred.” 
Alfred chuckled and turned to her, “It’s nice to finally meet you, Ms.Y/N. I’ve heard quite a bit about you from John. Good and bad.”
“Oh, you can just call me Y/N,” She chuckled politely and wrung her hands together. There was a pleasant but awkward silence between them. It was… a little uncomfortable, to say the least. “Are you here to get an arrangement?”
“Nah, I just wanted to pop in and see how John was doing.” Alfred looked toward her like he wanted to say something but refrained. Where is John? “I hear you had quite a busy day today. Job interview and all.”
“Oh yeah,” she sighed. “You know… jobs. It’s kind of a work in progress.”
“Well, I did want to let you know if you ever need anything,” he started. “-well, any friend of John’s is a friend of mine.” 
“Oh, I wouldn’t want to take advantage-”
“It’s called networking,” John appeared in the doorway, bouquet in hand.
“How long have you been standing there?” she asked bewildered, but John only waved her off. 
“Long enough to hear you pass up a great opportunity,” he turned to Alfred unimpressed, “as per usual.” 
“Don’t be cheeky,” Alfred lowly warned him, shifting his weight. He turned, looking back toward Y/N, “There is actually a position open that I know of. It’s an assistant's position, but trust me, it will pay well.”
He dug through his sweater pockets and presented her with a thin business card.
“I hope to hear from you soon, Y/N. John, it’s always a pleasure.” He tipped his head toward the tall, thin man and made his way out of the flower shop, a slight skip in his step. She turned to John.
“Meddling, John. Really?”
“What?”
-
It’s always terrifying when Carrie's appointments take extra long. She was only supposed to have her session of chemo today, but Dr.Miller had suggested a follow-up appointment. Y/N sat slumped in the waiting room, her bouquet for Carrie tucked in her elbow. John had put it together sweetly and added the lilies, pink roses, and baby’s breath, all of Carrie's favorites. When Y/N went to pay, he refused the money, telling her this one was a gift for Carrie. She didn’t have the heart to argue with him about it.
Digging in her pocket, she pulled out Alfred's business card and flipped it around her fingertips. For some reason, it felt heavy in her hands. John had taken so much time to encourage her, and she needed the money desperately, if not for her, for Carrie. 
“I cannot fuck this up,” she whispered to herself.
“Hey!” Carrie yelled from down the hall. Y/N quickly shoved the card into her pocket and stood.
Dr.Miller smiled at her and clapped a hand on her shoulder, “It’s good to see you again, Y/N. Make sure this one gets home safe and into bed.” 
“Trust me,” Y/N laughed, “I’ll strap her in if I have to.”
“Well, I’ll be seeing you in two weeks, Carrie. Let me know if you have any issues before then.” Dr. Miller looked down at her watch and started moving further into the hospital. “You know how it is girls. Gotham never sleeps. I’ll be seeing you!”
They both yelled out goodbye and watched her disappear into the hallway.
“Y/N!” Carrie smacked her shoulder. “You did not have to grab flowers.”
“Well, you know I had to see John, and he had a whole bouquet planned for you, so how could I say no?”
They laughed, moving out of the hospital. Y/N told her about her van and how they’d, unfortunately, have to walk home, and Carrie quipped back that it would probably be faster than Gotham traffic anyway. They made their way block to block. Then, onto the bus and down several blocks after that.
After Y/N's dad had quite literally kicked her out of the house at seventeen, she moved in with Carrie. Carrie had just moved out of her mom's house with barely enough money for a one-bedroom and had joked that she didn’t have any money for living room furniture anyway. So they threw up curtains to separate the living room and kitchen. Y/N bought a rug and a mattress, and her makeshift room was made.
Walking into the apartment was pretty much like walking straight into the kitchen. Y/N sat her bag down and opened her curtains, throwing herself onto her bed. Carrie threw herself down next to her. 
“Bad day?” Carrie asked.
“Meh,” Y/N muttered. “Probably not as hard as yours, but still sucky.”
Carrie bonked her on the head. “Stop it. I bet your day was just as sucky as mine. How’d the interview go?”
Y/N really didn’t want to explain for the third time today how she had been late. She couldn’t even get past the receptionist, and she felt like a failure. She thought for a moment, pulling the business card out of her pocket and looking up at it. “I uh… got an opportunity for a different position actually.”
“What the hell!” Carrie tugged at Y/N's arm. “That doesn’t sound so sucky to me; we need to celebrate! I’ll call for some Chinese delivery.”
Y/N was left alone on her bed, staring up at the business card. She flipped it in her fingers for the last time before she pulled out her phone.
-
Alfred was standing in front of the stove making dinner, and he watched out the window. The sun was getting lower and lower in the sky. I need to finish this quickly before Bruce leaves tonight, he thought. He stirred an assortment of vegetables in the pan before popping the lid back on as his phone rang. Alfred didn’t recognize the number, but he answered anyway. 
“This is Alfred Pennyworth.” He rubbed his hands on his apron, waiting for the response.
“Hey, this is Y/F/N Y/L/N,” she spoke softly. “Um, we met earlier at Dorthie’s Flowers. I was with John.”
“Ah, yes!” he responded. “Thank you for calling back, Miss.Y/N. Have you thought about what I said earlier?”
“Yeah, actually, I have,” she thought for a moment. “I really wanted to thank you for the opportunity, and I’d love to have an interview… If the position is still available, of course.”
“Of course,” he smiled. “Are you available tomorrow at noon?”
“Yeah, absolutely. Where should I meet you?”
“Excellent! Don't worry about meeting me anywhere. John told me about your car issues earlier. I’ll have one of our drivers pick you up. I would pick you up myself, but I have some business to attend to in the morning.” The business is getting Bruce out of the house before he can stop me, he smiled to himself.
“You really don’t have to do that-”
“It’s my pleasure, Miss.Y/N,” he said. “Go ahead and send me your address for the driver, and I will see you then.”
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ghostandsoap · 1 year ago
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John "Soap" MacTavish x Fem! "Viper" Reader Tags: Assassination mission. Gunfire. Snipers. A/N: I feel like this sucks. Does it suck? Let me know if it sucks. Word Count: 6.0k "You can't leave."
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John MacTavish was a deadly, silent marksman.
He struck fear into the heart of any enemy that dared to cross him...if they could even figure out that he was there to begin with. As Force 141's go-to sharpshooter and sniper, he had more than enough experience and advice to go around.
It wasn't lost on Sergeant MacTavish that he was one of the best -- but even then, his ego was never swollen. In fact, he felt like he was doing a disservice if he wasn't passing his wisdom along to someone just as talented and capable as him.
So when word on the street was that Captain Price had recruited a newly trained sniper to Force 141, Soap started preparing.
He wasn't surprised in the least when Captain Price approached him with a manila folder with a "classified" stamp on it. Soap wasn't shocked in the slightest when Price asked him to take the newbie under his wing.
He was more than happy to accept. He wasn't totally thrilled about the fact that most of his free time would be taken up by this, but it was a small price to pay to have the satisfaction of spreading his knowledge to someone deserving of his time and energy.
Price gave Soap a brief rundown, which didn't amount to much at all. Any information that Soap was going to have to know about this person was going to have to come from their files or from the person themselves. However, Price did give Soap a tiny sliver of information to get him intrigued.
"She's highly respected despite the fact she's young," Price had said with a chuckle. "They call her Viper."
Viper. The name rattled down his spine and left a tingle in his feet. He could only imagine where that name came from, and he was interested to know more.
And it seemed the more that Soap read up on her, the more that curiosity grew. As he read through her file, it became exceedingly clear to him as to why she was so well known and respected by her peers and mentors.
Viper showed a talent for sharpshooting in her early days of training. With proper mentoring and guidance, she ended up attending and finishing sniper school as one of the best.
When word spread that Captain John Price was looking for another sharpshooter for his infamous Task Force 141, Viper's information file was delivered to his desk almost immediately.
Price was betting on her just after seeing her file himself and after chatting with a few colleagues that had worked directly with her. His hopes for her only tripled when he actually met her in person to get a feel for how she would do with the rest of his team.
He knew that she would fly no matter what, but under Soap's supervision and guidance? She would soar.
Price introduced Soap and Viper to one another as soon as everything was settled...and truth be told, Soap almost scared her off on the first day.
Soap might have...overestimated how strong of a personality she was going to have prior to meeting her. With a name like "Viper", there was no question in his mind that she wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. And to an extent, he was correct. However, it seemed that his calculations had deemed her as nothing but a storm of venom and hatred, which was also not quite right.
Well of course Soap couldn't risk appearing smaller and weaker than the person who was supposed to be his student, so he amped up the side of him that was more "bad guy-ish."
He maintained the coldest stare that he could manage, and he didn't crack even a hint of a smile or any expression that showed him as anything but mean. He should've known that he was making a fool of himself when her eyes went wide and (quite frankly) concerned the moment he spoke to her in a tone that was less than pleasant.
Nonetheless, he kept this charade up for the duration of their first encounter, and by the end of their first day together, she was second guessing this entire arrangement. She debated running straight to Price and begging him to transfer her somewhere else and to someone who didn't act like they wanted to kill her in her sleep.
But thankfully Soap was intelligent enough to realize that his assumptions about her were horribly incorrect. When he saw just how rattled and exhausted she looked at the end of that day, he knew he needed to clear things up.
Once the misunderstanding was discussed and a "start over" was agreed upon, things went much smoother.
The two of them took off immediately. She soaked up every bit of advice he gave, and he practiced with her every free chance they had. For the most part, he helped her get familiarized with all kinds of different sniper rifles and practiced with her.
Any long ranged weapon that he had access to, he wanted her to be comfortable working with. He never wanted her to get into a situation where she needed to take someone out from a distance and was stuck with a weapon that she had no experience with.
As far as practice, they spent at least two hours at the shooting range every day. For the first few weeks, they stayed at the range. The range was a controlled environment with no outside factors...which also meant no distractions.
Eventually, Soap started taking her to locations outside of the range so that she could practice shooting from different elevations and altitudes. He wanted her to always be able to take wind speed and direction into account. He needed to know that she could still accurately locate a target at nighttime and in bad weather.
Long story short, Soap's end goal for her was easy. He wanted her to be able to take down an enemy in any environment, at any time, and with any long ranged weapon.
He had total faith in her, because it didn't take long for him to see for himself that, yes, she was very talented.
She was a fast learner, and when she was struggling with something, she persisted until she perfected it. She was determined and motivated in a way that he had never seen. He was impressed by her. He liked her.
The days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into days. Each new day, he was getting to know her as a soldier...and eventually, he was getting to know her as a person.
They were sharing things with one another that absolutely no one else on the planet knew or would ever know. He felt like she knew him better than anyone, and he had only known her a few months.
Their practice outings began ending with them sticking around in whatever place they were in, just chatting with one another and taking a load off from a long day.
One day in particular, about four months into this, he managed to get information out of her that he had wanted to know since the moment her callsign graced his ears.
The two of them were sitting together on top of a hill out in the middle of nowhere, dusk just beginning to creep over the sky as they sat together.
"So I've gotta ask ya," He had asked, slicing the blade of his knife into the red skin of the apple he had brought with him. "Where'd you get a name like Viper?"
Viper had laughed at his question, honestly surprised that he hadn't asked sooner.
"A few reasons actually. I'm fast, but also quiet...I can be pretty aggressive," She told him. "But mainly it comes from the fact that I can track and locate a target so easily and efficiently...especially through a scope."
"Oh, that's a good one." Soap said.
That was all he said after that. She waited patiently for a few seconds, expecting him to reciprocate the obvious.
"What about you?" She asked.
"What 'bout me?" He returned.
"Your callsign. Where does 'Soap' come from?" She clarified.
A shit-eating grin spread on the Scot's face as he popped a slice of apple into his mouth.
"That's classified Information." He remarked through chewing.
"What?!" She shrilled, unable to mask her smile. "I told you mine, so you have to tell me yours!"
"Not how it works."
"That's messed up. That is so not fair, Sergeant." She laughed an airy laugh, the kind that made his heart flutter and speak for himself before his brain had a chance to object.
"John," He blurted, his cheeks growing pink. "You don't have t'call me anything formal when it's just us."
The apple in his stomach was turning now, because that was the first moment that he realized that he was pining for her in a way that was beyond what he could control.
"Okay. I can call you John," She said to him, smiling in a way that almost made him collapse down the hill that they were perched on top of. "Now will you tell me why they call you Soap?"
He grinned and offered her the rest of his apple.
"No way."
After that, Soap found any excuse he could to see her and spend time with her. It got to a point where if someone needed to find Soap, they didn't even bother asking where he was. If they knew where Viper was, then they knew where Soap was.
They were glued to one another. She was excelling and improving every day, which only made him better and stronger as a result. The more time he spent with her, the harder he fell for her.
His likeness towards her was turning into something so much more wonderful. He was appreciating the world around him in ways he never had before.
John MacTavish was in love.
__
"Keep your breathing steady..." Soap instructed, his voice almost at a whisper. "Hold your breath right before you fire."
Viper was in the zone. She was perched with Soap's chosen sniper rifle of the day, staring at her assigned "target" through the scope. They were back at the range today, which should've made her feel more comfortable. However, Viper felt a bit of pressure today that she usually didn't feel when practicing because today Captain Price was observing.
Nonetheless, she did everything as she normally would. She waited until she was ready, she held, and she pulled the trigger. There wasn't any loud sound of a gunshot considering the weapon she was using was a suppressed rifle, but there was no noise greater than Soap when he was excited.
"Perfect shot," He buzzed. "Couldn't have done it better myself."
Her target wasn't a real enemy, of course. It was just a dummy that they used for shooting practice. Still, Soap was beaming and she was proud.
"What do I always tell ya, Vi?" He asked, leaning his head closer waiting for his signature quote.
"Be unseen and unheard until it's too late." She said, accepting Soap's hand to guide her up from the ground.
He grinned at her, waving Captain Price over to join the conversation. Price was wearing a proud, satisfied smirk as he approached them.
Price had been watching them closely over the many, many months that Soap had been working with her. He was pleased with Soap's mentorship, and even more pleased that she was blossoming into likely the best sniper he would ever see in his lifetime.
Not to mention, it wasn't lost on Price that Soap had grown to care for her.
Soap was interested in her in a way that extended past a teacher-student arrangement. Soap didn't have to take so much time with her. Truthfully, Soap's dedication to her was far beyond what Price could've ever hoped for.
"Nice work, Viper. Everything still going alright?" He asked.
Every once in a while, Price would ask that question. And every time, he got the same answer.
"Yes sir. All is well." She smiled.
"Good. You're quite the crackshot," He said, shifting the conversation topic. "I need to steal Soap from you for a moment. You mind catching up later?"
Soap and Viper shared a brief look before she answered.
"Sure, Captain."
Viper respectfully left the captain and the sergeant to chat and talk shop, and Soap already knew what Price wanted to talk to him about.
"You move out for Russia next week," Price said, and Soap nodded. "We need to talk about Viper."
Soap had known about this trip to Russia for two weeks. There was a job that needed to be handled there, and Force 141 would be heading there shortly. The mission was critically important.
Of course Viper had been with them on missions before. She was a part of the task force after all, so she was one with the team. However, Viper hadn't been put to the test yet. And this mission, if Price decided yes, would most definitely test her.
It was an assassination mission.
It was a mission that was going to be reliant on one person to be successful. And Captain Price was trying to decide if that person was going to be Viper or Soap.
Soap knew that Price was considering letting Viper take the lead on this one. Soap hadn't told Viper about the mission yet. He didn't want her to have that pressure simmering for so long. He didn't want Viper getting into her own head.
Soap would've been the obvious choice for this job, but Price was beginning to feel as if Viper was ready for this.
Soap knew her better than Price did at this point, whatever Soap said would determine Price's decision.
"You've been working with her for over six months," Price said.
Seven months and 12 days, actually. Soap thought to himself.
"You're the best judge of her ability and readiness to do this mission," Price went on. "She needs to be able to handle the pressure."
Soap understood exactly what Price was saying. Essentially, the captain was asking if Viper was ready for this.
Soap had complete confidence in her. She was already incredibly sharp when she first joined 141, and now she was an even better version of herself. There wasn't a doubt in Soap's mind that Viper was as prepared as she could possibly be.
"What's the verdict, Sergeant?" Price asked, arms crossed over his chest. "Is she ready?"
Without hesitation or lack of confidence, Soap answered.
"Absolutely she is."
___
This part of Russia is what she could only describe as the absolute middle of nowhere.
The land was extreme, and the tundra seemed to stretch out into hundreds of miles in every single possible direction. The land was painted white with the occasional silhouette of a tree or some other natural landmark.
Yet for some reason, in the middle of this vast land of nothingness, there was a small cabin about a mile away, only visible to Viper through the crosshairs of her scope.
Viper didn't mind the snow and frost in the least, but what she didn't care for was the extreme cold temperatures that came with them. And since it was nighttime, the frigid air was much worse. The air was so crisp and clean that her lungs were stinging with every inhale of air she took.
The sky was ablaze with millions and millions of twinkling stars, and if she had the time or focus to actually look up and study them...she might've even been able to see other galaxies.
But Viper wasn't out in the wilderness of Russia to stargaze and make wishes on those stars. Viper was here on business.
So here she was, hunkered down in the snow and camouflaged with the earth beneath her. Her rifle was an extension of herself tonight, as familiar to herself as her own heartbeat.
Even though she wasn't fond of the cold, it wasn't bothering her tonight. The numbness in her fingers and toes was ignored for the time being.
Soap and Ghost were elsewhere, but relatively close by. Their tasks were different for this mission, mainly to retrieve the body and to eliminate any unwanted visitors.
"Viper, this is Ghost. How copy?" The lieutenant's voice sounded in her ear.
"I hear you, Lieutenant. How's the weather down there?" She asked, keeping her voice low.
"Cold n' bitter." Soap chimed in, and she could hear Ghost's chuckle.
"At least you aren't buried in the snow." Viper remarked
The three of them had been bantering back and forth like this for a while. Something that most people don't know about being a sniper is that you have to have some serious patience. They had been playing the waiting game, and they had to do something to pass the time and the silence.
"Johnny'll warm you up when this is over." Ghost teased.
Soap had smacked Ghost's arm for that one, not believing that his friend was trying to embarrass her.
Viper's cheeks ran warm at that comment, which would've been nice in this weather if it hadn't been under flustered circumstances. She didn't respond, and thankfully she didn't have to, because there was sudden movement through her scope.
With perfect timing, she heard Soap again.
"Do you have a visual on the target?" Soap's voice echoed in Viper's ear.
Viper didn't move a single inch.
"Affirmative." She replied.
A very simple pause followed, and then an even simpler command was given.
"Take him out."
She steadied her breathing. She placed her index finger on the trigger. She held her breath, and she fired.
Her vision tunneled for a moment after she pulled the trigger, something that sometimes happened after she made a shot. When she looked through the scope again, her target wasn't down like he should've been.
He was on the move, alarmed and fleeing the area. Where he was going to go in this kind of environment, she wasn't sure. However, with enemies like this, they always had an escape plan.
"Shit." Soap cursed.
She missed.
She couldn't have missed him by more than a couple of inches. Her bullet was just a hair too far above, which only alerted her target and completely missed him altogether.
Nobody had expected Viper to miss. Especially not Soap. He knew that she didn't have long to reload and correct her second shot before her target disappeared.
"Viper, track him and fire again," He instructed, trying not to sound too urgent and make her nervous. "You've only got a couple of seconds."
She was trying not to panic, despite the fact that she was all shaken up from the fact that she missed. She had practiced a shot like this for what felt like a million times. How could she miss now when it was the real thing?
Viper reloaded, marked her target, aimed the crosshairs, and fired again.
There was a squeeze of the trigger, a puff of smoke, and her target a mile away that crumpled to the ground in an instant.
Viper coughed out a relieved, but stunned noise. One that came from a place of knowing that her target almost got away.
"Target is down," Soap said, yet Viper still felt sick. "Beautiful shot, Vi."
Soap and Ghost moved in swiftly, getting the now dead target out before his comrades showed up. Viper pulled away from the scope, her eyes finding two little, distant figures running around that she knew to be them.
She rested her forehead against the back of her hand, her mind spinning and reeling at a million miles an hour.
She knew that Price would hear about this -- the fact that she missed the first time. He had put so much faith into her and bragged about her to everybody. How would he react to this?
Even worse than that, how was Soap going to react?
Soap had put his blood, sweat, and tears into shaping her. He spent more time and energy on her than anyone else ever had in the last seven months. He taught her everything he knew. Every tip, trick, and piece of advice he had -- she knew it by heart.
How could she repay him like this?
"Meet us down here at the cabin," Ghost's voice returned to her ear. "Need to be heading out."
She predicted that Ghost wouldn't say much to her for the rest of the night. Not because he was angry or disappointed, but because he felt like not addressing it at all was the best way to protect her feelings and her pride.
Viper knew she needed to meet up with them quickly, and they needed to get back to their base for the night. Her entire body shook as she packed up her gear, the trembling was both from the cold and the severe anxiety that she was feeling at that moment.
She felt like a complete and utter waste of Soap's time. She felt like all his attention and effort that was used on her was for nothing. She almost blew it.
Viper used everything she had to keep it together as she worked her way down the hill. The last thing she needed was to fall apart in front of them, because then she would be a failure and weak.
At this point, she was just wondering if she still had what it took.
___
She had been staring at the fire for over an hour.
The chill in her bones had faded long ago, but she couldn't bring herself to stand from where she sat -- huddled up in front of the fire, contemplating everything that she had been doing in the last several months.
She could feel the heat radiating off of it, the same heat that might've saved her from hypothermia if she had stayed out in the cold Russian wilderness for too long.
The flames burned bright orange and dark red, dancing and casting long shadows against the far wall behind her. The flames were reflected in her glassy eyes, a painted picture of disappointment and questioning of her own abilities.
She hadn't said a word to Soap or Ghost since meeting back up at the cabin. She was too embarrassed to even spare either of them a passing glance. She felt like she had failed worse than she ever had.
Soap and Ghost gave her space for a bit. They ordered her to sit in front of the fire to get warmed up after being covered in snow and ice for so long. And that was how she found herself stuck in a daze, staring into those burning flames like they were her only source of life.
Their "base" was hardly anything at all. It was a one floor structure that you might could call a house.
This house was nestled in the vast expanse of birch trees that were dusted with snow and decorated with solid icicles. It was a small three room house with a kitchen, living room, and bedroom.
It was a relic, really. Long forgotten and abandoned by someone who was long gone by now. The wooden walls were weathered by the harsh winters and summers of Russia, but the structure was firm and resilient.
As she stared into that fire, Viper wondered what sort of stories and memories this house contained. She wondered what kind of history and life this place had. At least now the house was serving a purpose.
Unlike herself. Or, at least, that was how she felt.
Viper isolated herself in the living room, sitting on the hand-woven rug and ignoring the way the creaky floors made her bottom half ache. Ghost and Soap were cornered in the kitchen, which was only separated from the living room with a singular adjacent wall.
They were crammed together at the small table in there, basically just waiting for enough time to pass before they felt it was right to talk to her.
For Soap to talk to her.
Soap wasn't planning on yelling at her. Soap wasn't sure if he could ever bring himself to yell at her for anything at all.
He thought that maybe she wasn't ready for the kind of pressure this mission put on her. Maybe he was so in love with her that everything she did seemed to be extraordinary...which in turn blinded him to the fact that she needed more time.
But Soap (as much he did love her) felt confident that if this was truly, 100% her fault -- then he would know. Besides, she technically didn't fail this mission. The assassination was successful after all...but he knew that she was hung up on the plain fact that it almost wasn't.
Soap stood from the wooden table, sighing to himself as he mentally prepped for this conversation.
"Go easy on her, Johnny." Ghost said. "She's still learning."
Soap wasn't angry at her in the slightest. If anything, he felt like she should've been angry at him.
"What do I say to her?" Soap asked his lieutenant.
"Encourage her. Reassure her that it's not the end of the world," Ghost said. "And just be you when you say it."
Soap nodded. He understood what Ghost was saying. After all, it wasn't lost on anybody how Soap felt about her.
Soap left Ghost behind, entering the living room that was bursting with warmth. His heart stung at the sight of her so down and discouraged. He needed to fix this.
Soap was silent as he approached her, his footsteps heavy against the creaking floorboards. He lowered himself to the floor, sitting next to her without a word.
She knew he was there. And now that he was there, she had a million thoughts sprinting through the track of her mind. She was scared to speak first, because she didn't know how he was feeling.
"Talk to me, Vi. I'd feel a lot better if you did." He meant to say it as a command, but it came out as more of a request.
She couldn't look at him. She only continued to look at the fireplace in front of her.
"I missed," She said, which was obvious of course, but it was different actually hearing her say it out loud. "Almost twice."
Her voice was meek and insecure. It just wasn't like her.
"Yeah, you did." Soap remarked, his tone neutral and not showing any hard emotion.
"How did I miss?" She stared down at her hands that felt like they were weighing the rest of her down. "I was so prepared..."
"You were prepared -- as prepared as you could'a been." He agreed.
In a weird way, she wanted him to be angry. She wanted him to scream in her face and shake her around until she was begging for another chance and to keep her job. She wanted to suffer for making it look like he had failed to teach her.
But he wasn't going to do any of that. Not to her.
"Then how did I miss?" She was almost scared to ask.
"Unexpected wind. You felt rushed or distracted," He listed a few possibilities. "You got nervous under pressure...I put too much pressure on you."
Viper didn't believe that, even if it was partly true.
"Real soldiers don't get nervous." She remarked, her words sharp.
"Bullshit," He scoffed. "That doesn't make you a soldier. It makes you human."
Viper didn't say anything after that. She felt as if her natural reaction (as a result of being human) to a high-stress situation is what caused her to be unsuccessful in her mission. She hadn't let just herself and Soap down, she had let her entire team down.
Soap was still struggling with how to talk to her. He knew what Ghost had said, but which approach would she react best to -- her sergeant or the guy who had grown sweet on her?
"C'mon, Vi. You took him down," Soap said. "Stop beatin' yourself up."
She shook her head at her sergeant. His sudden casualness almost made her frustrated. She didn't say anything for a few more moments, before she did say something that made Soap immediately begin to panic.
"I'm putting in my resignation when we get back."
Soap processed what she said about as fast as she said it. His heart collapsed to his feet and fired back up into his throat. She couldn't quit. He wouldn't allow it.
He wouldn't lose her like this.
"What?" He blurted, realizing that his goal now was to prevent her from doing something stupid. "You can't leave."
"I missed, John. You can't just miss shots like that."
"Everybody misses," He stated. "And you still took him down the second time. Why can't you understand that?"
A quick beat passed. The crackling of the fire sounded loudly.
"You don't." She mumbled.
"What're you talkin' about? 'Course I've missed," He remarked. "And I've missed enough t'know that everybody misses."
"Okay," She said, her words sharp and defensive. "So what am I supposed to do now?"
He ignored her harsh tone. He kept talking to her as he had been.
"Come back home with me. Keep practicing. Make a perfect technique even more perfect," Soap said. "I promise you, doll -- keep at it n' you won't even think anything of what happened tonight."
She found that hard to believe. How could she ever get over the fact that she almost lost her very first high-pressure mission? The first of many?
Soap was out of things to say. Nothing that he was saying to her seemed to be making a dent. She was stubborn for sure, and now it wasn't working in his favor.
He had to be transparent with her. It was the only way he could talk her out of leaving the team.
Out of leaving him.
"You can't leave, Vi. You just can't," His voice was steady, despite the turmoil inside of him. "I know this life isn't easy, and screwin' up in this profession sucks worse than anything else, but...
Soap felt his heartbeat begin to quicken when she rested her head against his shoulder. It pounded in his chest in a way that made breathing feel difficult, and in a way that made him have to calm himself down. His eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes, hues of orange and red still visible from behind his eyelids.
Such a simple, seemingly meaningless touch made his legs feel wobbly and had his stomach doing somersaults. He was so infatuated with Viper.
Her talent, her skills, her determination. Her eyes, her smile, and just...her. Soap could say without a shadow of a doubt that no one had meant this much to him in a long time...no one had meant this much to him ever.
Soap's gaze was fixed on her. Her eyes were filled with uncertainty, which was a stark contrast to the woman that he knew Viper to be. Seeing her so discouraged and so unsure of herself broke his heart.
"I want you to stay...I need you to stay." His plea hung in the air between them, a testament to the depth of his feelings for her.
She finally looked at him then. The flames of orange and red reflected in her eyes as she tuned into what he was telling her. If her day hadn't already been complicated and taxing on her emotions enough, he would've kissed her.
She wouldn't have minded that in the slightest. At first, Viper thought she was in trouble when she first noticed how she felt about Soap. She felt doomed at first because how could she ever be able to pursue him? He was supposed to be her mentor, despite the fact that he was only a few years older than her.
She was worried at first because she feared that she had fallen for someone who she could never have. How was she supposed to live like that?
But as time went on, she noticed that her affection wasn't one-sided. She caught Soap gazing at her from afar more than once. She didn't miss the way he had a feather-like touch whenever he adjusted the position of her hands on her weapon. She knew that all of Ghost's passing comments and jokes didn't come from nowhere.
And on more than one occasion, she had heard about how much he talked about her.
She knew how she felt about him, and she also knew how he felt about her. After tonight, she was pretty sure that he would have that all figured out as well.
He settled for touching her hand instead, his rough fingers brushing against her delicate hand -- skin that didn't have the hard work experience and hardships that he did. He held her hand in his, a showing of something that extended far past him seeing her as just the soldier he was supposed to train.
He was showing her that he loved her for the woman she was.
Soap knew that he sounded desperate. Mainly because he was desperate. Viper had become such a massive part of his everyday life in the last seven months. Trying to imagine not spending every day with her pained his heart.
After all, she had become the most important person to his heart.
"Okay," She said, her voice serene and smooth. "I'll stay."
Relief rushed his system because he felt like he had another chance. It would take time to rebuild her confidence and teach her to be patient with herself again. But it was a task he was more than willing to take on.
"On one condition." She added.
She cracked a small smile then, which was enough to ignite the fireworks that were ready to explode in his chest. He would do literally anything to keep her around.
"You name it." Soap grinned.
"We have to start practicing and training an extra hour every day." She said, and Soap almost laughed.
That was more than okay with him.
"Deal," He said. "If you're lucky, I might even tell ya why they call me Soap."
Her eyes lit up then, and he almost felt bad for teasing her like that.
Almost.
"Really?" She asked, shifting closer to him to where she was almost snuggled into his side.
She rested her head on his shoulder again, and this time he wrapped an arm around her to pull her closer.
"No." He smirked.
They shared a small laugh before falling into a comfortable silence, the kind that eased any kind of tension or anxiety. He was soaking in her presence, thankful that it wouldn't be last time he would ever get to enjoy it.
As soon as they were back and settled, he was asking her on a proper, real date. As much as he loved it, he figured that somewhere outside of the range was in order.
The two of them sat like that for a long time, basically until the last of the fire had burned out, and all that was left was ashes and smoke. When Soap shifted to stand, he realized that Viper didn't move.
When he craned his neck to look at her, she saw her eyes were closed and her breathing was slow and steady. She had fallen asleep on him.
He nearly exploded through the ceiling.
He had to contain himself and not wake her because he wanted her to get as much rest as she could. He was careful as he moved to scoop her up, hushing her when she stirred and made mid-slumber noises of discontent from being disturbed.
He carried her and whisked her from the living room, cutting through the kitchen to get to the bedroom to put her in bed. Ghost, who had been on watch this entire time, saw this encounter and couldn't help but smirk.
"I assume all went well?" Ghost asked, and he felt proud at the beaming smile on Soap's face.
"Yeah. You could say that."
164 notes · View notes
sleepiexx · 1 year ago
Text
Right Under Her Nose
Valeria Garza x fem!Reader + Platonic!John “Soap” Mactavish x fem!Reader
Note: This has been a wip for mooonths dude
Summary: Valeria had expected that her girlfriend just wanted space, albeit not so fond of the idea that she couldn’t respond to a simple text, she’d grant her wish and leave her alone. Oh how wrong she turned out to be.
Warnings: Lots of talk about blood, death, and some gore, kind of graphic but not super detailed, Valeria and Reader fight, and the first half is Valeria-less
Word Count: 3859
The only sound resounding in the near empty room was the dripping of blood, a sick echo of the liquid dripping onto concrete. (Y/N) was so out of it that she had originally assumed there was a leak in the ceiling, but she was wrong. She only realized it was the sound of her own blood when she saw the pool of the red liquid under her rippling in tune with the dripping noise.
She knew she was hurt, of course— how could she forget the rigorous hours of torture she had been subject to? But she didn’t know that a person could bleed this much and survive, it reflected in her physical state heavily. Everything hurt, even thinking.
How did she even end up here?
She led a normal life. She lived off of tips and the wage she earned by waiting tables at a cushy place downtown. After long nights and rush hours, she would return home to her apartment and plants. Along the way, she met a woman who she loved with her entire heart and was lucky enough to call her girlfriend. (Y/N) (L/N) lived as normal as life could get and yet somehow, someway, one of those life choices led to her capture and torture by members of the cartel.
“I don’t know anything!” She’d sobbed for hours as they dismantled her physical and psychological being without relent. Drawn out beatings, cuts, slashes, all blended together in her mind as one heaping pile of pain.
One name stuck out. The one that they had asked her about her connection to over and over again: El Sin Nombre.
She had no clue who El Sin Nombre was. She guessed they were some rival to the men who had been torturing her, but she knew nothing more than that and she certainly didn’t know how she fit into the equation.
She didn’t run with any cartels, or do drugs— hard ones anyway, she couldn’t imagine her marijuana use had anything to do with this. She knew for a fact that her plug didn’t dabble in selling or consuming harder drugs either, so it couldn’t have been him. Besides, who gets tortured for enjoying a blunt every once in a while? She was innocent, why couldn’t they see that?
The door pounded, wood splintering and cracking from the pressure. That wasn’t good. The cartel had been angry throughout her interrogation, that much had been clear with the way they had treated her, yet now they were unable to even keep their cool. What happened? Was she no longer “useful” to them? Had they decided she was better off dead? What made it so urgent that they couldn’t use the key and had to knock the door down?
The door finally caved under the pressure. The big group of men that (Y/N) had been expecting turned out to be just one man. One man with a gun.
Panic shot through her veins, a newfound energy along with it. She thrashed around in her chair, desperate to get away from him, yet the restraints didn’t budge.
He stomped towards her, a blank face as he held the gun in a position that suggested he was ready to lift and shoot at the drop of a hat.
She would do anything to survive, grasping at straws for a chance at life, “Hey- hey, wait wait wait- I thought- you need me, you need the information I have.” She didn’t have any information, she knew that, and it seemed so did he.
“Your information is not important.” He huffed, a deep glare etched into his eyes, “Something’s come up, I have to tie up the loose ends.”
His gun raised, aiming straight for her forehead. Tears fell from her eyes, with nothing to lose now she had no qualms crying to her heart’s content. All shame she felt dissipated as she sobbed and begged— begged for her life.
“Please- Please, I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did please, please don’t kill me.”
Her throat felt raw as her sobs bordered on screams. She saw his finger wrap around the trigger and she closed her eyes as she heard a loud bang, waiting to feel the pain and then nothing at all.
But it never came.
She felt a spray of hot liquid splashing on her face, which she suspected was her own blood, but confusion consumed her as she still felt very much alive.
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes. The man who nearly killed her was on the ground, resting in a puddle of his own blood.
“What the fuck?” She whispered, eyes wide. She looked up, met with the sight of a man. He wore a uniform, army, and he had stubble and a Mohawk. He looked like any average soldier and yet after hours of unrelenting torture, you could never be too cautious.
She struggled against her restraints once more but it only proved to be a harder task now that her adrenaline levels were fading and exhaustion was taking over.
“Hey, Hey!” He called out to her, trying to calm her down, “it’s okay, love, it’s over. I’m gonna get you out of here.”
She calmed at the thought, staring at him with hopeful eyes. “Please.” She begged. At this point, she didn’t even know what she was begging for.
He stepped forward carefully, “I’m Soap, I’m going to try and untie your restraints. Is tha’ okay?”
She didn’t like how he treated her like a scared animal but she appreciated him narrating everything he was doing. It made things predictable, less scary that way. She nodded.
Despite getting the go ahead, he continued at a slow pace, in fear of startling her or triggering something. With the state of her blood-stained body, he could only imagine the horrors she had went through in however long she had been there.
She felt nervous as he had to stand behind her to untie her wrists. Out of her line of vision, he was unpredictable. But as a seasoned soldier, he knew that, knew exactly how she was feeling, and he would do anything in his power to alleviate some of the pain.
“The ropes aren’t budging, I’m going to use a knife to cut them off, so I need you to stay real still, okay?”
She nodded.
He sawed the ropes until they fell off with a wet plop onto the soaked floor. She pulled her hands forward, shoulders aching from having been kept in that position for so long. She stared down at the red lines that followed her wrists where the ropes had been. She had struggled so much that she rubbed her wrists raw and bloody.
He walked around to the front of the chair, where he squatted down and did the same to the restraints on her ankles.
Completely unrestrained, she got slightly overzealous and attempted to stand. Her legs were weak, though, having only stood few times in the past however long when the cartel felt gracious enough to let her go to the bathroom. She nearly instantly collapsed and likely would have fallen right on top of the dead man had the soldier not been there to catch her.
“Hey, easy, easy. Don’ think you should be walkin’ on your own just yet.” He looked down at her, trying to help her stand on her own but it was proving impossible in her state, “alright, I’m going to pick you up.”
One of his hands snaked down from where they were on her sides to the pit of her knees, picking her up in a bridal carry. She groaned at the movement, open wounds aching and sending shooting pains throughout her body.
“Steamin’ Jesus, what did they do to you?” He wondered aloud, concerned at the whines and pained moans leaving her mouth.
She didn’t respond, too emotionally and physically exhausted to have a deep conversation. As he carried her throughout the compound, her eyes began to shut, almost succumbing to darkness. Soap instantly took notice.
“Hey, you can’t go dying on me now, love. Gotta stay awake. Talk to me.” He hoped she would start rambling so he could gauge the state she was in without having to take his focus off of the compound in front of him, but she just blinked at him. It was a hard task to ask of a girl who had just been through hell. But Soap was witty, and he had no problem finding another way for her to talk, “What’s your name, hen?”
“(Y/N),” it came out like a whisper, but before this she hadn’t talked to him at all so it was progress.
“(Y/N)? I like it. What’s your favorite color, (Y/N)?”
“Blue,” she murmured.
He smiled, “nice color, I like green.”
“Green? Is your full name Irish Spring?” Her voice was weak, and wavering, so it was hard to get across a tone to match the joke she had made.
He shook his head, not understanding that she was joking, “I’m Scottish actually.”
“Irish Spring, like the green soap.”
He looked down at her and smirked, “I did not think you were capable of makin’ quips like that.”
She looked away, feeling some of the effects of the blood loss hitting her. Loopy-ness being the main one, she found herself unable to control her words, “What kind of name is Soap anyway?”
“It’s not a name.” He said, kicking down a door that stood in their way. Quickly checking if the coast was clear before finishing his statement, “It’s a callsign. My real name is John.”
“John,” she mumbled, “that doesn’t really suit you.”
“You can call me Johnny if ya like-“
Just as Soap thought he was making progress, keeping the hostage’s thoughts on other things, he was met with the sound of more cartel.
“Fuck.” He muttered, mind racing through all of his options.
(Y/N) could tell they were coming, her eyes were wide and her heart rate picked up. Fear consumed her once more. Especially as the soldier set her down on the ground.
“I’m going to deal with this, you stay right here.” He explained, not giving her room to speak as he b lined it out of the door, towards the gaggle of cartel members.
All she heard were gunshots, gunshots and screaming. She made an attempt at self soothing by rocking back and forth but it didn’t help that she was wounded to shit, making her movements jagged and painful.
What if Johnny died out there? What if her only hope at escape from this awful place was shot and killed defending her?
She didn’t know if there were more soldiers, or if it was just him, all she knew was that she needed him, desperately.
God, how she wanted to peek so bad, especially when the room went silent. But she knew she couldn’t disobey the soldier. Not when it was his judgement that had gotten them this far.
Like an answered prayer, he appeared right in the doorway.
“Hey, hen.” He smiled at her, trying to cheer her up, but it faltered when he saw just how harshly she had reverted to the nervous state he had found her in.
He walked up towards her, picking her up once more. “I’ve gotcha,” he coo’d, hoping to calm her down slightly. He knew he had to get her out of there, fast, so he sped up his pace.
It went like that for a while, until they finally made it to the evac point.
Soap could see the confusion portrayed by each of his team members as he carried the wounded woman towards them. She was covered in blood and limp, to the team she looked like a corpse, yet Soap could see her eyes staring at any and everything, they still had life behind them.
The masked man spoke first, “what’s this?” His critical eyes analyzing her.
Soap could tell that his teammate’s imposing presence scared the girl, so he nodded him off to the side, “This, Ghost, is (Y/N), the cartel was holding her hostage.”
Shortly after, he turned to (Y/N), not wanting to talk about her with them right in front of her, “this is my team, Ghost, Gaz, and Captain Price.”
The man he had referred to as Captain Price stood at attention as their evac helicopter came inbound. “Plenty of time for introductions on the chopper, Soap.”
He nodded and hopped in the second the aircraft landed. In the short time it took to load everyone in, he called out to the crew who had already been in the chopper, “can I get a medic?” He yelled, gesturing towards the blood coated woman.
Thankfully, of the small crew they’d taken with them, a medic was amongst their ranks. They took to the girl, packing her bigger wounds with gauze as she groaned in pain.
“Oh, fuck!” She called out, face twisting into a grimace.
“What did the cartel want from you?” Price prodded.
Soap went to get onto him for questioning her as she writhed in pain, but Gaz beat him to it, “Jesus, Captain, the poor thing’s gettin’ treated for extensive wounds and now is when you want to question her?”
The men stared at each other, but (Y/N) relented. “I- I don’t know. They kept bringing up some guy in a rival cartel but I don’t- I don’t know anything about it.”
A loud whine left her lips as a particularly deep gash was treated. She couldn’t stop the tear that fell down her cheek from the pain.
Soap frowned, trying to stay positive, “we’re gonna get you home, alright hen?”
And she nodded, reluctant but hopeful.
The rest of the ride was a blur, at some point she passed out, she only woke up days later in a bright hospital room. To her surprise, the Scottish soldier was by her side.
“Johnny?” She mumbled, voice raw and cracking from a lack of use.
His head shot up, staring at the girl who had been asleep for nearly four days. “(Y/N), hey! How are you feeling?”
She groaned, body sore, “like I’ve been hit by a bus.”
He chuckled slightly, “yeah, you look it too. But the doc says you’ll be back to your old self in no time, whatever that is.”
“So nothing too serious?” She asked.
His lips flattened, not liking the way her words discredited what she went through. “You took quite the beating, hen. Nothing deadly or physically altering, but you broke a few ribs, got a couple of deep gashes, and you suffered so much blood loss they had to drug you up until you were fixed.”
She sighed, taking in his words, “fuck, man.”
“But the doctor only let up on the drugs now because everything’s sorted, as long as you follow the doctors orders and get one last physical, you’re good to go home until the next checkup.”
Her expression didn’t change at the good news, “I- I don’t even know where I am. Or how to get home.”
Soap grabbed her hand, “Don’t worry about that, I’ll get you where you need to be.”
She gulped anxiously, but nodded nonetheless.
By the end of the day, Johnny fulfilled his promise. She was discharged from the hospital and he himself drove her back home. He even went as far as to walk her into her house and give her his number, should she ever need him.
She stared at the ground, never good at goodbye’s but still wanting to say her thanks, “Thank you, for everything.”
He pulled her into a hug, “No need to thank me, hen, you get some rest.” And just like that he was out the door.
Unbeknownst to the two, their goodbye had been watched.
Mere minutes after Soaps departure, frantic knocking sounded at (Y/N)’s door. Recent trauma still fresh on her mind, she panicked. A million possibilities flashed through her head, all ending with the cartel knocking down her door and taking her away once more.
That idea was shattered as (Y/N) heard her girlfriend yelling behind the door, “I know you’re home, (Y/N)!”
She hesitantly stepped towards the door, unlocking and cracking it open before Valeria pushed her way into the apartment with anger written all over her face.
Valeria slammed the front door shut, fuming words spewing out of her mouth before (Y/N) could even form a sentence, “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you like crazy for two weeks and you’ve just been gone. No voicemail, no text, not even a note.”
“Val I-“
“How could you just disappear like that? I care about you (Y/N), it really fucking hurts when you can’t seem to tell me you’re going somewhere.”
(Y/N) knew she was pissed. Valeria never talked about her emotions, ever, and here she was baring her wounds to (Y/N). Sure she was regularly angry, but (Y/N) knew her better. She knew that this was worse than any superficial fight they had ever had.
“Valeria-“
“And who was that man you were with, huh? Are you doing something behind my back?”
To (Y/N), this meant cheating, but to Valeria who had met Soap before, she had feared a full betrayal. She only fell short in her words as tears fell from her girlfriend’s eyes.
“No! No, I wouldn’t do that!” (Y/N) sobbed, “I was kidnapped, I barely made it out alive. He saved me!”
“Kidnapped?” Valeria whispered to herself, but (Y/N) heard it.
“I know, I know it sounds crazy- fuck, I feel crazy,” (Y/N) cut herself off, breathing out the last part, “but yeah, I was taken by the cartel because- because they thought I had ties to their rivals but I don’t, Valeria, I swear I don’t.”
Valeria’s face shifted to an expression (Y/N) couldn’t read. Some mix of pity, sadness, and almost… guilt?
She placed her hands on either of (Y/N)’s shoulders, “(Y/N), baby, do you remember who they were asking you about specifically?”
(Y/N) sniffled, “I don’t know, it was something like El Sin Hombre— no, Nombre? I don’t know, one of those. Why?”
Valeria’s face darkened. Her eyebrows knit together and the guilty look deepened. Her glare burnt a hole into the floor.
“You do have a connection to El Sin Nombre.” She muttered.
There was a beat of silence before (Y/N) spoke.
“What?” (Y/N) asked, confusion evident, only making her more distraught.
Valeria’s eyes slowly lifted to meet her girlfriend‘s, “(Y/N), I am El Sin Nombre.”
“No.” (Y/N) mumbled, ever so slightly raising her voice, “No, you can’t be.”
She tried to squirm away from Valeria, but the grip on her shoulders was too tight. Eventually she gave up trying to get away and allowed herself to collapse into her lover’s hold, sobbing into the crook of her neck.
“Please, no.” She cried, “it hurt, Valeria, it hurt. Please god no.”
Valeria pet her hair, tears quietly streaming down her face. The sound of her lover’s pain rang out like rusted church bells, raw screaming echoing off the living room walls.
Knowing that all this was her fault— that all of (Y/N)’s pain was caused by her— it hurt more than any bullet or shrapnel that Valeria had ever felt buried beneath her skin.
“They hurt me so bad. Please, Valeria.” And, god, (Y/N) had no clue what she was begging for but all she could do in this moment was plead— for respite, for love, for an end to her pain. She was reduced to this residual ache, physically, mentally, everything hurt. She hadn’t prayed in years and yet now she found herself yearning for divine intervention.
She choked on her words, yet Valeria heard her loud and clear.
The statement made Valeria shake not only in sorrow, but in a cacophony of despair and rage.
“I’ll kill them.” Valeria’s voice carried a malevolent undertone, laced with venom and spite.
(Y/N) stilled, her eyes trailing to slightly meet Valeria’s despite the way the rest of her face was hidden behind Valeria’s shirt, “What?”
Valeria pulled her from her chest, cupping her hands around (Y/N)‘s cheeks. It was in this moment that she finally saw how bruised and swollen (Y/N)’s face was, the full extent at which those men had hurt her. A rage bubbled beneath Valeria’s skin. “I will kill each and every one of them, (Y/N).”
And it wasn’t perfect. Everything still hurt. (Y/N) still felt like she was splayed out on the floor with her guts ripped open. And yet, it was enough. The promise of healing— of fixing things, however violently things needed to be fixed. And so they sat like that, Valeria holding her lover as she sobbed, for the rest of the night, and many nights after that, as long as it took to heal.
Months later, Soap was working late at the base, filling out paperwork from a recent mission. It was likely he was the only one working this late in this part of the building. That’s why it surprised him to hear a voice from behind him.
“Working hard, soldier?”
He knew the voice, but he thought he had imagined it. He was shocked as he turned around and confirmed his suspicions. She was leaning on the desk behind him, arms crossed.
“Valeria,” he looked the woman up and down, scanning her for weapons, “Why are you here?”
She sat up from the table, uncrossing her arms, “I came to thank you.”
“Thank me? For what? I got you arrested.”
She raised an eyebrow, staring into his soul, “I know that. I’m talking about something different.”
His brows furrowed, “go on.”
“A few months ago you saved a woman who was being tortured for information.”
“(Y/N),” he confirmed.
She nodded, “(Y/N) is my girlfriend.”
His jaw nearly dropped at the statement. “She told me she didn’t have any connection to the cartel,” he frowned, slight betrayal ebbing at him.
Valeria shook her head, guilt coming back as she remembered (Y/N) sobbing the same thing to her, “She didn’t know, I hadn’t told her.”
That made him feel better, but he was still confused, “I still don’t understand why you’re here.”
Valeria’s tough attitude seemed to falter, “I just- Thank you. Thank you for saving her. I didn’t even know she was taken, I fear for what would have happened had she been there any longer.”
He nodded, “She’s a good person, never hurt her.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” And with that, Valeria walked right out of the military base— presumably the way she came in. Soap knew he should follow her, should track her down and capture her so she could be arrested. But when he thought back to (Y/N), he knew he could never do that to the poor girl. So he let her go.
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manicplank · 9 months ago
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One more before I go to bed.
Alcohol tolerance headcanons (and how they act) (tiny suggestive warning for one of them)
Peppino: This one I see a lot, but he is definitely a lightweight. Doesn't drink much mostly because he doesn't like the taste. Only takes a few drinks for him to get wasted. He probably had a few drinks in before he was kicking Gus and The Noise in the cover for the OST. He becomes super fun when drunk. Dancing, singing, laughing; you'll see a side of Peppino you never knew existed.
Gustavo: A medium-weight. Doesn't drink often and doesn't drink too much at parties. He gets loose when he's drunk but not to the same degree as Peppino. Cracks a lot of jokes that make no sense. Gets lovey. Wants hugs, tells people how much he loves them and how beautiful they are. Once made Peppino cry after he told him how much he meant to him. The whole "you're my best friend" schpeel.
Mr. Stick: A medium-weight. Prefers wine. Turns into a person instead of a penny pinching seagull. Will open up and have decent conversations. He talks about fun times he had, be it in childhood or college. He'll actually talk your ear off. Talks about why he got into finances. Talks about money, that's inevitable. Not much of a party animal. Enjoys watching the others make themselves look stupid.
Pepperman: HEAVYWEIGHT. He can drink ANYONE under the table except John. Can drink all night and never be TOO drunk. Lets loose. That artsy fartsy narcissist persona disappears. He still talks about art, just not as much. Laughs a lot. Will listen to what you have to say instead of talking over you.
The Vigilante: Somewhere between lightweight and medium-weight. It only takes a few shots of whiskey for him to be off his ass drunk. Trips over his own boots. Laughs a lot, slurs his words. "Sspose to be... Thissws spose to be funn. Whys is, whys is nobody country line dancing? Ss not a party wifout line danssin." His drunk laugh probably sounds like Seth Rogan's.
The Noise: Medium-weight. Can handle most of his liquor. He usually gets giddy and silly. Wants to dance, joke around, probably might light something on fire. Would end up doing drunk karaoke just to be unusually good at it. Doesn't know his limits. Thinks he can handle more than he can, gets blackout drunk and pukes. He likes to run away and be a little shit. He also gets really affectionate when drunk. Wants hugs and kisses and snuggles. Sometimes even gets a little uh... TOO affectionate if you catch my drift. Likes to be dared to do dumb shit. "You guys think I could kick this gas pump hard enough so it'll explode? I'm gonna fuckin do it."
Noisette: Medium-weight. Likes mimosas... Likes mimosas A LOT. Bottomless brunch is her weakness. Gets super bubbly and giggly when drunk. Will laugh at anything. You could point at a pebble, and she'd bust out laughing. As much shit as she gives Noise for getting too drunk, she has also been in his shoes the same amount of times. They take turns on who gets to get drunk and who gets to be the babysitter. Knows her limits. Might suddenly start crying about anything. Would cry because she felt bad for laughing at that pebble earlier. "BUT WHAT IF IT MADE THE PEBBLE SAAAAD."
Fake Peppino: NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK. NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK. NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK. NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK. NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK. NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK. NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK. Took a sip of Pizzahead's wine once. Was an unstoppable force of energy. Got too silly. Many casualties and thousands of dollars worth of damage. All because of ONE sip. NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK.
Pizzaface: Simply doesn't drink. Watches everybody act like idiots. He's the one who pointed at the pebble. "Noisette, look at that pebble." (insert Noisette laughing hysterically)
Pizzahead: HEAVYWEIGHT. Had a drinking contest with Pepperman once; lost. Pouted and didn't talk to Pepperman for like a month. Can drink like 10 drinks before he's actually drunk. Can drink 10 more before he's DRUNK. Turns into even more of a party animal than he already is. Dancing, singing, screaming. When they're both drunk, he and The Noise are BEST FRIENDS. They go hand-in-hand to create the world's craziest party. Probably dances like a whore and gets yelled at for it. Then he dances normal.
Pillar John: Another HEAVYWEIGHT. Can drink more than Pepperman. It takes enough alcohol to kill a small elephant to get John drunk. He doesn't even drink often, he's just like that. Likes to dance and joke around. Usually wins at beer pong. Gets a lot like Gustavo and starts talking about how much he loves everyone except for Pizzahead.
Gerome: Doesn't drink. Sober bro, but still knows how to have a good time. Will stop John from drinking too much or doing something stupid while drunk. He keeps an eye on John, everyone else is on their own.
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dimlylittorch · 10 months ago
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Random Headcanons: Edition 4
could really use some comfort from my cod boys, so this is just going to be difficult self indulgent fluff scenarios (depressed!college-student!reader)
Featuring: John Price, Simon Ghost Riley, Johnny Soap MacTavish, Kyle Gaz Garrick
My Masterlist🌱
Warnings: Angst
(depression, poor hygiene due to depression, slight mentions of nudity, mentions of puking, overall mentions of poor mental health)
John Price:
You were home for Christmas break, and the seasonal depression had hit you pretty hard. Of course John still had work, so you didn’t see much of him except at night. The daylight was short, but the days still felt far too long. Everything was exhausting, even the basics like chores or showering. You’re curled up on the couch in a ball, snug as a bug in a rug, waiting for John to come home. He didn’t exactly make everything better, but he was a much needed comfort. You hear the door unlock and you consider sitting up, but you decide you hardly have the energy to. You sigh softly, snuggling your face deeper into the pillow you were resting on instead. You listen to John’s boots walk on the hard floor, setting his keys down on the counter. ‘Love?’ He calls out gently when he sees you. ‘I brought you dinner..’ He adds. You nod faintly, and he walks over, sitting on the coffee table so he can get a good look at you. ‘It’s bad again?’ He asks softly, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. You hum in confirmation, looking up into his eyes. ‘I don’t feel like myself anymore.’ You whisper shakily, voice wavering from lack of use. He sighs a little, a small frown forming on his lips. ‘A lot may change.. but you’ll always be mine.’ He whispers faintly into your ear before kissing your forehead. His words make you crack a small smile, something that didn’t happen often when he wasn’t around. ‘John.. can you hold me?’ Your small voice murmurs out. He smiles knowingly, moving onto the couch and slipping behind you, wrapping his strong arm around your waist. ‘You’ll be okay.. you’ll be okay.’ He hums into your ear as you close your eyes, finally feeling safe.
Simon Ghost Riley:
Simon had moved closer to your college campus, just so he could be with you. Just so you wouldn’t have to live in a dorm with someone else, and he could have you all to his self. He was home from work for a few days, having just gotten back from a mission. He was cozied up in your shared bed, soft lamp light highlighting his face in the dark room. He hears the front door open and a soft smile crosses his lips. ‘In here love.’ He calls out gently. Normally you’d respond with your sweet voice, quickly coming into the room to cuddle up with him. But tonight.. he didn’t hear a response. He listens for you, setting his phone aside and pulling back the covers. ‘Love?’ He murmurs faintly into the dark room. He tentatively slips out of bed, silently walking into the living area. He glances around, not seeing you anywhere. His body stills, starting to feel a panic grow inside of him. He looks around quickly, and finally he sees you on the floor of the kitchen, head resting on your bent knees. He pads over, crouching down in front of you. ‘Y/n? What’s wrong baby- what happened?’ He whispers softly, tone laced with worry. You sniff softly, lifting your head and wiping your eyes with the heel of your hand. ‘M’sorry. Should’ve come to bed.’ You murmur softly, eyes not meeting his. He quickly puts his hands on your knees, rubbing down your thighs comfortingly. ‘No, baby- don’t worry about that.’ He says softly, leaning forward and kissing your forehead. ‘Just a really.. really bad day, Si.’ Your soft voice murmurs. He slips his arms around you, pulling you into his lap. ‘S’okay love. I’m here.. you’re okay.’ He whispers into your ear lovingly, resting his forehead against yours.
Johnny Soap MacTavish:
You and Johnny hadn’t been dating long enough to move in together yet, so you still stayed in your college dorm. He tried to visit you as much as he could, but he loved it when you would come stay with him for a few days. He’d drive you to class, take you to lunch.. he loved taking care of you. One day, you’re not answering your texts. He keeps sending a few more, wondering if you’re just busy with your schoolwork.. after it’s been a while, he decides to just go over to your dorm and check on you. He knocks on your dorm firmly, knowing your roommate had decided to move out, so you had the dorm to yourself. ‘Sweetheart?’ He calls out softly. ‘It’s Johnny.. can you let me in, baby?’ He murmurs. You had been going through a rough patch lately. You hadn’t showered in a while, and you were eating less. You sigh softly, slipping out of bed and opening the door. You hadn’t bothered to look at yourself for a few days. ‘Sorry Johnny.’ You whisper softly, eyes downcast. His eyes immediately widen when he sees you, and he slips inside, closing the door. He cups your cheeks, feeling how dry your skin is. ‘Baby..’ he whispers as he scans over your features, noticing your matted hair, tired eyes and probably dirty clothes. You feel yourself tearing up, completely embarrassed at being unable to care for yourself. You think he’ll call you disgusting- that he’ll leave.. but he just pulls you into a hug. ‘How about we get a shower, hm?’ He whispers sweetly into your ear, kissing your neck gently. He leads you into the bathroom, helping you strip. He does the same, both of you standing under the warm water of the shower as he grabs your soap, lathering you up. ‘It’s okay to need help’ he murmurs softly as he starts to gently scrub your scalp. You sigh softly, slipping your hands around his waist and hugging him gently. He smiles to himself, kissing your forehead. ‘I’ll always be here to clean my baby up.’
Kyle Gaz Garrick:
It was finals week, and the stress was eating you alive. You’d already taken one or two of your tests, anxiously waiting to figure out what you got, and you were still killing yourself prepping for the remaining ones. It had been a hard semester, let alone a hard week. You were on the verge of ripping your hair out as you tried to keep up. Kyle told you he’d be home early tonight and that you could stay with him in his apartment if you wanted to. You decided you needed a break.. you deserved one, after all. You head over to his apartment, hugging him the second he lets you in. ‘There’s my lovie’ he muses sweetly, kissing the top of your head. You kiss his jaw tiredly, snuggling into his embrace. ‘I’ve missed you.’ You whisper weakly into his ear. ‘We need to get you to bed, baby..’ he smiles. He leads you over to his bedroom, helping you change into some comfier clothes you kept at his place. ‘Want anything to eat?’ He asks softly, kissing your forehead. ‘Have you had dinner?’ You hadn’t eaten in a while.. and quite frankly, you didn’t want to. It felt so exhausting- and nothing ever tasted good anymore. ‘I ate already’ you lie through your teeth with a sweet, tired smile. He ruffles your hair slightly, looking a little concerned. ‘Okay, lovie.’ He murmurs, walking over to the bathroom. ‘I’m going to shower.. let me know if you need anything.’ He calls out from the bathroom. You lay back on the bed with a sigh, closing your eyes. A few minutes later, you start to feel your stomach act up. You sit up gently, walking into the bathroom, trying to be quiet as you sit by the toilet, feeling nauseous. ‘Baby? Did you want to join me?’ Kyle asks from the shower. Suddenly your head feels heavy, and you lean over the toilet bowl, puking into it. He immediately pulls back the shower curtain, seeing you on the floor as you groan softly, eyes closed. He sees how sick you really are and he sits down with you, rubbing your back. ‘Hey- hey, hey, hey, it’s okay’ he whispers quickly, clearly a little panicked. ‘When’s the last time you ate?’ He asks. You shake your head no, not feeling well enough to speak without risking puking again. He gets the message- it’s been too long. ‘I’ll make you something’ he sighs softly, kissing your forehead. ‘I’ll make sure i take better care of you from now on, baby- and that you take better care of you too.’
Hope you guys enjoyed!! And if you relate to any of these scenarios, please know that depression and mental illness are really hard things to handle on your own. Always reach out for help if possible- things will get better <3
My asks are always open, as are tips! Hope you all have a great day/night :D
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whorangi1104 · 10 months ago
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Ghost AU: Frozen Hearts and Electric Souls
Chapter 1: FNG
Ghost observed the Scot chatting with Garrick from across the room. He noted how his mohawk seemed to crackle with light - maybe some sort of energy gift - and the glint in his bright blue eyes, possibly trouble, especially since he was a demolitions expert. He’d have to trust Price on his judgment for this one. He watched as he introduced himself to the team, striking up conversations easily, until his eyes finally landed on Ghost.
“Name’s John Mactavish. They call me Soap.” said the Scot with a smile and a slight accent, extending a hand.
“Lieutenant Ghost.” He responded and shook Soap’s outstretched hand briefly.
“Nice mask. Fits yer name.”
“Suppose so.”
“See ye around then, LT.” Soap said as he walked away to be given his room by price.
Ghost took a mental note to look into the Scot’s file sometime.
As Soap walked to his new room in the barracks, he noticed it was next to the one marked “Lt. Simon “Ghost” Riley”. Maybe he could try to crack his lieutenant’s cold exterior over time. As he pushed open the door to his own room, He put down his duffel bag and carrier on the floor and saw a simple setup with a bed, dresser, a desk in front of a window, and a few shelves along the walls. After closing the door, he opened the carrier door and watched as a streak of yellow and black fur flashed around the room once and settled on his shoulder, licking his face.
“Hey buddy, been pent up too long?” He stroked the cheetah cub’s head, static crackling at the touch. Of course, it wasn’t really a cub, he had no idea how old his prowler was, as there had never been a way to track their age since they seemed to shift however they wanted. Soap fed him a few pieces of dried beef from his bag before flopping on the bed and pulling out his sketchbook and started outlining the view from outside his window.
Simon stepped into his room, which was now unfortunately next to the new sergeant’s. It was plain, scarcely decorated and a few stray masks here and there, probably his prowler’s work as he had been away meeting the new recruit.
“Phantom?” 
A cat the color of night with slightly frosted fur and eyes the color of ice came out from under the bed, another mask being dragged in its mouth, to be gently taken by Simon and put on the dresser. As Simon sat down to finish some paperwork, Phantom curled on the bed for a nap, calm, soft breathing, being the only sound in the room.
A while later, a knock sounded on the door, and Ghost paused his work and answered the door to be greeted by Soap with a regal-looking adult male cheetah on a leash. The cheetah had dark eyes like obsidian and a handsome mane running down its back that Ghost wondered if that was what Soap had modeled his mohawk after. 
“Felt like I never got to get in a proper introduction with ye as I did with the rest of the team LT, so maybe ye’d like to be the first to meet my prowler?” said Soap
“...Why is it on a leash? As far as I know, prowlers are loyal to their gifted?” questioned Ghost.
“Aye, but he’s more the energetic type, meetin’ strangers often excite ‘im,” answered Soap.
Ghost sighs quietly and opens the door further to let them in, observing the pair and taking note of the lightning-shaped markings on the cheetah’s wrists.
“So where’s yer prowler? Mine usually likes bein’ in view.”
Ghost looks over at the bed and notices Phantom is gone, and is now observing from one of the shelves, and swiftly leaps onto Ghost’s shoulder when she sees him looking.
“Here. Her name’s Phantom.”
“She seems nice, an’ a way better name than mine. Did I introduce Cheeto?”
Ghost raises an eyebrow, “... you named your cheetah prowler… Cheeto? After something that was named after cheetahs?”
“I thought it was cute, it was supposed to be temporary. Besides, he won’t respond to anything else now.”
Phantom eyed the cheetah with a suspicious look that could rival the way Simon eyed Soap and leaped off onto the desk where the cheetah followed in the form of a cub now, trying to get her to play. 
“What can you do? Your gift?” asked Ghost after they watched the prowlers interact.
“Electricity. Think it’ll work well with the team? Yer ice gifted right?”
“Correct.” 
A sudden knock interrupted their conversation as Gaz stuck his head inside.
“You two done here? Price is calling us to the debrief room for another mission, better hurry it.
“Aye, be there in a sec. Comin’ LT?”
Ghost nods. “Give me two minutes.”
“Olright, we'll be waitin’ for ye.”
Ghost closes the door after they leave and makes sure Phantom is situated and the masks put away before going to debrief himself.
short chapter since I want to post chapters on Sundays (soapghost Sundays lol) with a chapter a week, and I just started mid week.
also I’m going into this work blind but I’m planning smut and angst.
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sam198 · 11 months ago
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Chapter One: A Tale of Envy
In the quaint town of Eldoria, where magic and reality intertwined, Sir John and Sam's paths converged in the echoing halls of the mystical training academy. Sir John, a weathered sage with a limp, hairy tail, bore the weight of years etched onto his diminutive frame. In contrast, Sam, the epitome of youthful vitality, stood tall with a clean-shaven, grand tail that mirrored the strength of his well-sculpted physique.
Sir John's aging visage held a map of stories and lessons learned. Liver spots adorned his face, a testament to the passage of countless seasons. His stooped shoulders carried the burden of wisdom, while his thin, cracked lips whispered tales of experiences both bitter and sweet. The tiny, withered balls between his legs told a story of magical reservoirs drained by the sands of time.
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On the other side of the spectrum stood Sam, the embodiment of vigorous youth. His chestnut hair framed a face sculpted by divine symmetry, and his hazel eyes sparkled with an energy that seemed to defy the laws of mortality. Broad shoulders, sculpted chest, and arms that spoke of countless hours spent in the pursuit of physical excellence showcased the results of relentless training. His full, plump balls, a source of potent Samen, hinted at a magical vitality that pulsated through his very core.
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The academy's training sessions were a stage where Sam's prowess flourished, leaving Sir John in the shadows of envy. Despite years under Sam's tutelage, Sir John's frail form remained untouched by the transformative magic that coursed through the academy's hallowed halls.
One fateful evening, as the moon cast its silvery glow upon Eldoria, Sir John, consumed by envy, hatched a plan to bridge the chasm that separated him from Sam's vibrant existence. This plot would weave a tale of magical exchange, jealousy, and unforeseen consequences.
As the clock ticked towards midnight, Sir John approached Sam in the dimly lit training chamber. The air crackled with a mix of anticipation and a whisper of trepidation.
"Sam," Sir John called out, his voice laden with a rare intensity. "I need your guidance, a special training that only you can provide."
Sam, always eager to help, turned toward Sir John with a warm smile. "Of course, Sir John. What do you need?"
Little did Sam know that this request would set in motion a series of events that would alter the very fabric of their magical existence.
Chapter Two: The Enchanted Exchange
Sam, unsuspecting and benevolent, nodded in agreement. "Follow my lead, Sir John. We'll embark on a unique training journey tonight."
As they settled into the ancient runes inscribed on the training chamber floor, Sam began guiding Sir John through a series of magical exercises. The air hummed with a mystical energy, and the two men immersed themselves in the dance of enchantment.
💱💱💱💱💱💱💱
Unknown to Sam, Sir John had surreptitiously woven a spell into the training routine. As they delved deeper into the mystical exercises, Sir John subtly redirected the magical currents, setting in motion the clandestine exchange he sought.
The first change unfolded in Sam's majestic tail. A subtle shiver coursed through its length as it began to lose its grandeur. Sam, immersed in the magical flow, felt a disconcerting twinge deep within. His brow furrowed as he continued the exercises, unknowingly surrendering a piece of his magical vitality.
Meanwhile, Sir John's diminutive, limp tail stirred with newfound energy. It responded to the clandestine spell, growing more robust and lively. The hairy strands seemed to stand on end, absorbing the magical essence siphoned from Sam's once-grand appendage.
Emotions played across Sam's face—a mix of confusion and slight discomfort. "Sir John, is everything alright?" he inquired, sensing a subtle shift in the magical currents.
Sir John, feigning concern, replied, "Just a minor adjustment, Sam. Keep going."
The exchange continued, the magical energies intertwining in a delicate dance. Sam's tail, once a symbol of his strength, slowly dwindled in size. He began to feel an overwhelming drain, a sense of depletion that echoed through every fiber of his being.
As Sam's tail lost its grandeur, Sir John's frail body absorbed the stolen vitality. The small, limp tail now pulsed with newfound strength, a stark contrast to its former state. Sir John, concealed behind a mask of feigned effort, reveled in the unfolding transformation.
However, the exchange was not without consequences. The drain on Sam's magical vitality reached a tipping point. A wave of dizziness washed over him, and the once-confident personal trainer stumbled. The magical tether between their tails fluctuated, causing Sam to gasp in sudden realization.
"Something's not right," Sam muttered, his voice betraying a mix of confusion and concern.
Sir John, seizing the opportunity, pressed on with the charade. "Just a momentary imbalance, Sam. Keep going, we're almost there."
The chamber pulsated with the ebb and flow of magical currents, sealing the fate of the clandestine exchange.
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ruth-writes · 1 month ago
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ruthswip
Chapter 3: Alex's POV
Content warnings: physical abuse, depression
            I don’t know what I was expecting when I finally arrived at the hospital, but I wasn’t ready for the three strangers sitting by Jamie’s bed. There was a man and a woman to his right, and a teenager who was holding one of his hands as it hung limply from the side. The sight almost made me break down.
            All three of them turned to look at me as I walked into the room. “Hi!” the woman said in a voice kind enough that it felt fake. “Are you here to see Jamie?”
            I nodded, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Sorry, who are you?”
            The woman’s smile wavered, but the tone of her voice didn’t change. She nodded towards the kid holding Jamie’s hand. “Holden’s his boyfriend, and we’re his parents.”
            Boyfriend? Jamie couldn’t have a boyfriend. He never talked to anyone. “Oh. „Well, thanks for staying with him,” I said, hoping they would get the hint. I pulled up a chair next to the apparent boyfriend and took a close look at Jamie for the first time in months.
            I could barely contain a scream. I knew it would be bad, but there was nothing I could have done to prepare myself for seeing it. His face was so swollen from the bruises, it was barely recognizable, and the bandages on his chest indicated broken ribs. Jesus Christ, how could I have let this happen?
            “Fuck,” I said, frantically wiping tears away with my sleeve, but it was hopeless. I gave up and let them fall, ignoring the three people watching me. Why didn’t they just fucking leave? I wanted to hold Jamie’s hand, but the stupid kid wouldn’t let go. Instead, once my sobs started subsiding he asked accusingly, “How do you know Jamie again?”
            “Holden,” his dad snapped, but he brushed it off.
            “What? I’m just asking!”
            God, I really couldn’t deal with a hormonal teenager right now. “I’m his brother,” I told them flatly, and it thankfully made Holden shut up.
            “C’mon, Holden,” his mom said, getting up. His dad followed suit. “Let’s give them some space.”
            He didn’t budge. “I’m not leaving Jamie,” he said defiantly. No matter how much I hated him right now, I had to respect it. Whoever he was, it was clear how much he cared for Jamie.
            “Holden, I’m not arguing with you,” she snapped. “Outside. Now.”
            Holden looked uncertain, but still didn’t move. The mom looked like she was ready to blow a fuse when my Mom walked through the door.
            “What are you doing here?” I snapped, forgetting everyone else in the room as I felt a tsunami of rage rising from my toes to my chest. I jumped to my feet to stand between her and Jamie, my clammy hands balled into fists.
            She had the nerve to give me a surprised smile. “Alexander! I thought you were in Michigan!”
            “Get out,” I said, my nails digging into the palms of my hands.
            She didn’t move. “I came to see- “
            I lost it. A boyfriend I’d never met was one thing, but her? “Get out!” I screamed. She looked at me in shock, and I wasn’t even done. “Listen to me,” I growled, my voice cracking. “There is no way in hell I’m letting you anywhere near him ever again.”
            She swallowed and took a step back. I took one forwards. “Alexander- “
            “Shut the fuck up!” I screamed at her again. “I leave for five fucking months, and you let this happen? Why the fuck are you even here? You don’t care about either of us.”
            She didn’t waste energy trying to deny it. Instead, her fake innocent expression morphed into an unreadable poker face. The same one she wore when watching John have one of his fits. “What do you want to do, then?”
            “He’s gonna come and live with me,” I stated, leaving no room for an argument.
            She looked at me like someone would look at a toddler who’d just claimed they were gonna rule the world someday. “With what money?” she asked.
            “Yours,” I said like it was obvious, even though I was making this up as I went. “You owe us that much.”
            She snorted. “Sweetie, you know John’s never gonna go for that.”
            It occurred to me that with both me and Jamie gone, she would probably become the primary target of his rage. I didn’t know how I felt about that, but it definitely wasn’t my problem. “Well, figure it out. It’s your money, not his.”
            “Or what?” she countered challengingly.
            “Or I’ll take you to fucking court,” I replied smoothly. “And everyone’ll know you were complicit in your children’s abuse.”             She considered it, then said, “Fine. Call me when you’re ready to talk about the details without screaming at me.” She took one last look at me, Jamie, and the hospital room, then she was gone. Just like that, our mom was out of our life.
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12timetraveler · 1 month ago
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Something In The Orange
Chapter 13
Summary: In the aftermath of the big reveal, reader finds herself at a crossroads.
Notes: Hey all. I just wanted to say thank you all so much for your constant support. Just a few days ago marked one year since I posted the first chapter of this story. I honestly never expected so many loyal readers who comment every chapter. I get so excited to read your reactions every time.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. Especially after the pain of the last one.
As always, blame typos on my phone's autocorrect system. One day I'll go through and edit all of it.
As per usual, below is a little sneak preview. Read the full chapter and the full story on AO3
You must be logged in to an account to read my works on AO3. Blame AI Scraping for that.
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You'd think that returning to the place that you'd called home for a decade would be comforting. But all it did was serve to highlight how lonely you were.
It reminded you of how you'd felt after your granny passed. Couldn't even hold a funeral due to the pandemic. Just hired some grave digger to bury her in the family plot and that was that. You were all alone.
Going to university, making all those friends, meeting Hosea, it had saved you from that lonely feeling. You'd finally had a herd of people who cared about you. You had a family. But you'd gone and ruined that, and now you were alone again.
You were convinced it was your punishment for some unknown wrong: loneliness. Now you'd ruined your found family, possibly destroyed an actual blood family too. You had a hard time imagining a world where Arthur could forgive his father. The two had been thick as thieves but now they were separated but this giant rift, with John likely caught in the middle.
And the loneliness was your reward.
The friend group of course was blowing up at the drama. You couldn't stand to look at the group chat, but they all sent you private messages (except Arthur, though that was no surprise). Their reactions ranged from shock to concern. None of them seemed outright angry, though you wouldn't have blamed them if they had.
Sadie was the most persistent of all of them, texting you nearly every hour for three days just to try to find out if you were alive. Finally you texted her back, if only to stop her from calling that reality show bounty hunter guy to come and track you down.
This satisfied her for about a little while. At least she knew you were alive. Though she made you check in with her multiple times a day.
Your first week back in Brandywine was mostly a blur. You spent most of it crying, occasionally cracking open a bottle of liquor and downing it at an alarming rate. Though there wasn't much alcohol in the house, and you ran out pretty quickly.
After that you hardly left your bed, alternating between fitful sleep, hysterical crying, and long stretches of dissociation. You knew you should try to pull yourself together. This wasn't healthy. You should get it together and do something instead of just wallowing in your mistakes.
But the loneliness had a grip on your heart that rivaled anything else. Like shackles chaining you to a prison wall. You were unable to do anything to help yourself. Could hardly remind yourself to eat most days. You'd try to watch something, read something, do anything but lay there. But you were held down by the monster tendrils of your depression.
The first time you really managed to snap out of it, even for a moment, was when you were pulled from your dissociation by a knocking at your door. At first you felt nothing but confusion, almost like you didn't even know what knocking at the door meant. Slowly you seemed to come around. Though you were now confused as to who may be knocking at your door.
You considered ignoring it. You didn't really have the energy to entertain. Or to face what you'd done. But still the insistant knocking finally dragged you out of your bed. Slowly you descended the stairs, not sure who could be knocking.
“Dove, please,” Hosea's muffled voice carried through the door.
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