#i felt attacked many times
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Cherry Magic really is the perfect "me and the bitch I pulled by being autistic" show huh?
#i felt attacked many times#lol#i'm curious about the thai version but the story is already so perfect I don't want to ruin it#ahnfshgnd#cherry magic#too long of a name#angel talks
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do u know cass personally? or is this a tumblr friendship? cuz its the most wholesome thing ive seen in my life
I don't even know their real name ~ But if I will be told that I have an extra liver, I will know at the exact same second to whom give it.
#without jokes#I owe her so much#I'm pretty sure she doesn't understand how much#It was first days of college when I found this place#and I was having attacks of hatred towards this place due to the fact that it takes up all the time#and in the end I do not get anything useful from it.#I didn't even have powers on drawing something#I didn't know what to draw#head empty#and everything felt so... flat?#and BOOM#what do you mean it is the style that I love the most#what do you mean the main attention to the emotions#what do you mean it's a chaos#what do you mean I love this thing already#what do you mean the author of this story is so wonderful and funny and cool and so many adjectives#WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE MAKES KIND OF ANIMATICS THAT I LOVE THE MOST#*puts paws together*#I love animatics and I finally found a passion#I survived last year only because of her#honestly#I don't know what and how happened#but I don't want to change anything#I am so much grateful I don't know what else I can give to her I have nothing
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about-to-kill.jpg
#i have so many e-mails to write but i felt... inspired#attacked and blessed at the same time one could say#i'm not prepared let me tell you#käärijä#lovingly handcrafted memes lmao (i have no idea what i#'m doing)
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"They're all looking at you." "Believe me, they're all looking at you." [ref]
#aruani#im enjoying these leyendecker studies#i felt like my art has been stagnating for quite some time but I'm happy with how this turned out#annie leonhart#armin arlert#attack on titan#shingekinokyojin#snk#but rlly i discovered so many techniques doing this piece holy shit I should do more studies in general#aot#my art#i might do more!#i had to redraw that stupid glove 10times in a row mygod ai art could never#my suffering is for free#進撃の巨人
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July 5th is the day I finished Attack on Titan, the second Anime I have ever watched. It was a beautiful, heartbreaking and just incredible journey...and now I don't know what to do with my life anymore 😂😭
Did I laugh? Yes, I did. Did I cry a lot? Yes, I did. Did I embarass myself fangirling about many characters and scenes? Yes, of course. 😇
AOT gave me a new fandom to obsess over, wonderful characters and a new OTP - I couldn't be happier hehe!
(I really wish, though, that I would've documented the entire journey, all my thoughts and all my favourite scenes.)
Someone please teach me how to draw so that I can make fanart! Yes, that's how deep I am into this show.
#aot#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#snk#i may exaggerating but it was just amazing#my heart broke so many times but the pain felt so good#and all those characters are so inspiring#this anime will forever have a special place in my heart#and now i want to rewatch it again
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One of my coworkers is pregnant and I'm really happy for her, but also my tokophobia is very active, I've been on shift with her for 24 minutes and I already feel like I'm gonna have a panic attack 😭 no one at work today knows about my tokophobia, I'm keeping it to myself and being so brave about it.
#tokophobia#tw; pregnancy mention#i walked in and saw her and was like oh no oh no oh no and immediately felt like i was gonna cry#she's such a lovely person and im really trying not to give myself away#if i do have a panic attack there's plenty of places to have one without being caught#just gonna have to wrangle my fear all day while working in a really intense environment#done it before many a time and I'll do it again
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I relate to Greez Dritus because I too use “weirdo” as a term of affection
I absolutely love his and Cal’s relationship btw. Absolutely devastates me
I have so many headcanons but the biggest one rn is that Cal gets Greez this for his life day:
And in return Greez plasters this on the back of the Mantis:
So funny imagining the Mantis with really camp car stickers btw. I know it’d kinda ruin the whole “not trying to get spotted immediately by the Empire” thing but I think they need some on there so badly.
#cal kestis#jedi fallen order#jedi survivor#greez dritus#greez is Cal’s dad btw. if you were in any doubt#that man isn’t an uncle. he’s a single father of an absolute disaster thank you very much#he keeps Cal’s old outfit in a box for gods sake :(#he made an entire room kitted out specifically for Cal.#he gave him the Mantis and I imagine he must have been the one to teach him how to fly it#Cal kept giving him so many heart attacks he had to retire early. it’s would be funny if it wasn’t true and also incredibly sad#Cal asks Greez one time if he’d like to be a father someday and I could only think of that audio of Clementine from twdg#‘you could become a mother’ ‘funny. I already felt like a mother’#I BET ON LOSING DOGSSSSSSSSSS 😫😫😫
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God, "I missed you" sex is the best
#eep.txt#as soon as we were alone he kissed me hard and just couldn't get close enough#we went to his room and he immediately attacked my neck i don't think i've ever had so many hickeys at once#he kept grinding for so long against me on his lap 😵💫 i was very desperate for more but he just wanted so feel my skin against his#he was sososo cute with his messy hair and the way he kept saying i love you!#i could see myself in the mirror in front of his bed i didn't think i was this fucked out lmao#maybe the first time i moaned this loud and talked this much too#usually i have to keep quiet even though it's hard cuz there's other people but it was so nice having him aaalll to myself#when he finally put his fingers in it felt like heaven i'd been so long#and same he just kept going so deep and so fast my god he said he liked hearing me again#i had to stop him cause i was getting really overstimulated but it was so good#i'm pretty sure it's the first time i've actually like moaned his name without meaning to do it#apparently i didn't realise i was babbling and scratching his back so hard#god i love being a power bottom and calling him cute or my sweet boy and getting him desperate but...#when he goes feral like that after not seeing me for a while? it's the best. i'm so lucky to have such a service top#so happy to be with him again#after we cuddled and we showered and we cooked and then watched videos and then talked and laughed#i'm so happy right now to even see him sleeping next to me :]#sorry i meant to do a sexy post but i guess this is more positive venting i'll make a proper one later#still new to this writing thing i'm probably very bad at it but it's nice to have a place to write down my memories and experiences
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Finally got around to watching ep 11 (´;ω;`)
#I'm late...#I'm sorry I wasn't able to watch the episode by time last week but again. Food poisoning. And then the new chapter came out#I feel like I had much more to say when I started watching it last week...#Mmmmhh. I really like when bsd animation uses the colored lineart effect for flashbacks / subspaces (Anne's Room‚ Poe's books).#I think it's one of the prettiest and most original things of the bsd animation.#I've always felt like the Natsume reveal was a bit coming out of nowhere lol.#Here's this legendary ability user everyone knows but no one has ever seen with this immensely unthinkable powerful ability...#That the reader literally wasn't ever made aware of in the previous 49 chapters lol#After all that build up‚ his ability even feels a little underwhelming.#Which I suppose was the intended result‚ but I'm not sure it really works all that well in the end.#Then Naomi's words “Come to think of it‚ the things that happen when Mii-chan vanishes [...]‚ disasters are stopped every time”#really feel soooo out of place when so-called Mii-chan was never before mentioned up to this episode (╥﹏╥)#But I'll stop complaining. It's nothing big really#Fukuzawa and Mori's relationship is very homoerotic. Tbh#I looooove the ss/kk I don't even have much to say just watching scenes of them interacting together fills my heart of a warm feeling :')#The animation quality is very poor and the drawings are very undetailed but really I love ss/kk too much to care.#A lot of emphasis is put by the fandom on Atsushi's cruel remark towards Akutagawa in this ch/ep and it *is* cruel but really...#Akutagawa had literally just attacked Atsushi in a death-threatening way‚ futilely and completely unprompted#I can't find it in myself to blame Atsushi if he was irritated and lashed out at him.#And all their other moments are just so cute. What do you mean Akutagawa is deeply interested in understanding Atsushi's motivations.#What do you mean Atsushi can't get Akutagawa out of his mind!!!! They're so cute#So many more cute moments were cut out too rip lawnmower line you'll always be missed rip date line you'll always be missed#I feel like Pushkin's character is another instance of‚‚‚ Wow me and the author's morals really don't align at all#I really don't like the narrative of “weaker people will constantly try to harm and take advantage of strongest ones”#random rambles#Fun fact when I watched this episode for the first time I asked my mother to join me. Because I know a ss/kk scene was coming and I really–#didn't want to watch it alone. Well as it turned out the whole first half of the episode was dedicated to old man fighting–#and she gave up after that 😂😂 But I'm still grateful to her for trying.
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it’s the 90s in my monkee universe where davy lost his mom young like he did irl and they are watching the land before time because, yknow it seemed like a cool newer movie and peter LOVES don bluth films so they happened to pick it up from a video store after it left theaters so they’re all at home on the couch snuggled up and then they get to the scene where the sharp tooth attacks and mike sees it coming and has a hand on davys arm immediately and sure enough theres a dying mother scene.
davy stiffens a bit but says he’s fine and so mike squeezes davys hand a bit but then eventually davy starts to sniffle and mikes like “okay that’s it micky pause it.” and despite it having been so many years since his mom passed and him having been so young at the time, something still hits davy, especially seeing a kid in denial that his mom is going away because he just assumed she’d always be there!
but davy is determined to push past most of his babyish ways of the past so he keeps assuring mike (who is holding his face and looking into his eyes) that he’s fine between breaths. but mike is in full mumma mode because davy became his baby forever and always, and they turn the film back on and it’s all fine but mike holds davy extra tight and snuggles up to him throughout the rest of the watch and davy can’t help but push himself into mike and cling onto his shirt because mike is there for him and he does love him so much.
#the monkees#mike nesmith#davy jones#peter tork#micky dolenz#mumma mike#this is something i don’t know if ive ever actually typed out but i got randomly into the land before time a while ago and thought of this#davybaby#or… post davybaby i suppose?#in this they’re older cause it’s the 90s and after his father passed in 72 davy started regressing real hard#(mostly after one really lonely trip to england to help with his father)#(he had some panic attacks because suddenly he was thrust back into evrything he left and called mike in the middle of the night freaking#out because he felt all alone and mike promised he’d never#have davy go to england alone and that he’d stay with him next time)#so throughout a lot of the 70s davy is on and off baby mode pretty hard#and at some point in the 80s he decides to try to stop it and goes all stoic and NOT little#but mike is now so attached to his little one and davy… despite trying to act like he’s not… is so attached to mike#and mike wants davy to be able to do what he wants but is also conflicted because it’s definitely not good for davy to ignore his emotions#which the guys usually helped him process through regressing#they all figure it out don’t worry it’s just hard for davy but he’s got his friends. they’ve all got each other and they love each other so#so much#and davy gets so many snuggles and hugs and kisses don’t you worry#okay goodnight folks i’m sorry for the lil davy rants
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horrible stupidass day. my aunt died. step-aunt technically; she was my uncle's second wife and she was amazing. they were putting up christmas decorations and she didnt feel well so she went to sit down and . that was it . feel weird bc its the middle of the week and im so wiped out from regular work crap that it isnt even hitting really i just found out and im . like sitting here thinking about dinner. but also she's the kind of person who wouldn't care; she'd think that was funny
#personal#dont reblog#i guess just bc its weird to me when ppl reblog specific personal events from peoples lives#but i also want to talk about her. we didnt see them that often bc they lived a couple states away so the last time was at grandmas funeral#but every time we got together she wanted to talk to me about blue october bc one time she found out we were both fans <3#she was the most patient encouraging woman; her support never felt pushy or like an expectation it was like she just quietly knew you#could do it - whatever 'it' was#compassionate. down to earth. in a family of big personalities terri was just a solid regular open-minded loving person#its fucked up and stupid that she has to be gone and there are so many assholes who dont die of a heart attack while holiday decorating
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are you doing artfight this year???
ive not ever participated, always forget about it until its here, dont have any refs for my ocs, and won't be participating this year either ^_^
#unfortunately comms are my sole income and i have many to do and keep doing#as ive got stuff happening at the end of this year#but in general idk that i would enjoy it‚ I'd feel very pressured. it makes me nervous#id want to just draw (attack?) whoever i felt like instead of feeling like i owe others art for drawing My ocs#i dont want anyone mad at me lol#grodygecko#skunk mail#oh i meant like comms are my only income and the rest of my time is For Me i dont think i could handle it being#owed art the entire time art fight goes on ykwim#maybe one day if someone reminds me several months in advance and i can finally focus on making refs for my 3 ocs#either way id much rather go make fanart for random people on deviantart again#and also i need to make moneyyy
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#tw suicide#tw overdose#tw suicide attempt#a close friend of mine overdosed for the 4th time in as many weeks last night and i just dont know what to feel anymore#she was sent home from the emergencies the 1st time and was staying with me for the 2nd which i still feel guilty about#how i was an idiot for not hiding any meds while i was in the shower#spent the full day at the hospital with her to make sure she was taken into inpatient care and not just dismissed#then yesterday morning shes released from the hospital and winds up in the same place that dismissed her the 1st time in the evening#and now isnt replying to any of my messages#and im just oscillating between feeling sick to my stomach with anxiety and nothing at all#and then feeling guilty when i feel nothing#or guilty that im angry at her because she purposefully did and said thing to hurt me#but shes hurting and i need and want to give her some slack but i just felt that attachment i had to her fade after the last thing she did#and i cant even bring it up with her bc last time i did she spiralled and didnt talk to me for a week#which is fucking worrying when shes so unstable#but ive not been eating or sleeping and just feel awful and anxious#at least now i have xanax for the panic attacks and dont have to rely on alcohol anymore but god#i just want things to get better#vent#delete later
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It's so crazy keeping up with the world(news) these days, the amount of things that have happened in such a short period of time lately. As I drove to school this morning, they discussed the possibility of Iran firing missiles at Israel. As soon as I get in my car to drive home, Iran literally retaliated as soon as I turned the radio on. It's all moving so fast
#i miss my middle eastern politics class#its so crazy to think i took that last semester: oh hopefully itll still be relevant!#and now its getting increasingly more tense and dire and i dont have that class as an outlet anymore :/#it was crazy walking in there twice a week like. uhhhhhhhh so what happened#and back then it felt like a lot and now i cant even imagine what it would be like now#i remember the whole thing w israel attacking tehran happened#that was obviously very we walked into class like okay so what happened this wknd#now that event just feels so idk???? not that bad??? comparatively???#i miss that class bcs i liked hearing my prof's takes on it#bcs we're learning abt all this history/context and its developing in real time irl#so id be interested now what he thinks 😭 cause listening to the news isnt enough to grasp it ig#bcs back when tehran was attacked he was like: ....i dont know what to say#so how about now??????#npr made a timeline of whats happened in the past week or so. so fucking insane#i just cant even imagine how he'd address ALL of this#bcs multiple new developments occur every single day. its so scary#also sry cant keep the politics discussion within its getting so much and i dont know where to talk abt it :/#it was interesting reading on reddit but OMG so horrifically biased i cant touch it anymore#also it drives me a bit crazy that theres so many people who just dont pay attention to it AT all#catie.rambling.txt
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I wanna talk more about Laudna saying she was at the end of her rope. I wonder what that saying means to someone who was hanged on the Sun Tree.
#critical role#critical role spoilers#cr spoilers#laudna#i dont have the brain space to dive into it so please someone share your thoughts#the phrase is itching something in my brain but i feel like i cant say exactly what it is#laudna has been brutalized so many times since she was hanged#but we've only seen her snap twice#she does not take betrayal well when it comes from someone she trust#and the greatest betrayal started with delilah#but it kept happening#dusk and fcg and bor'dor#even if fcg didnt actually betray them it must have felt like a betrayal that he attacked them#i wanna pick at marisha's brain to figure out if she said that unintentionally
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sometimes i think about the power some friends have over me
#marzi speaks#these fuckers know my weaknesses… i can’t get too cocky#not too many ppl know how to throw me off or catch me off guard but like. some of these bitches could shut me up so fast#bc they know exactly how to#just got flashbacks to the time i was playing dnd with friends and one of them was like ‘hey mars listen to this’#and brought their phone up to my ear. and i listened in real close bc i assumed it would be funny video#and then they just played servant saying smth or other directly into my eardrum#and it. Killed. Me#my brain just completely fried i was like ‘WUH BHH’ i did NOT anticipate his voice in my fucking ear like that !!!#it felt like he was There all of a sudden like you don’t understand. it was an actual psychic attack#i gotta be Careful around these fuckers bc they can humble me so goddamn quick
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