#i feel so surreal right now
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first fucking hitoya and now hajun what the FUCK is up with both of yall hypmic & paralive stans 🤨🤨🤨
#hypmic#paralive#holy fukcing shit#hitoya holy fuck#i feel so surreal right now#oh my god#AND HAJUN THO ??#LIKE ???#the fact that all qrts immediately knew it was hajun#paradox live#pararai#hypnosis mic
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Darren’s speech at Maybe Happy Endjng stage door on 11/16/2024
#darren criss#maybe happy ending#so… last night I saw and talked with Darren?!#it feels like a dream. and surreal since I’m sitting on my couch at home in MN right now#dc#dc video#video#dc*
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Doodles based on "Yet Another Nightmare" by Catroic on Ao3 (highly recommend reading, its very good)
#kris#ralsei#deltarune#i didn't really draw much kralsei but the fic has the pairing so...#kralsei#i read this cuddled up in bed and half asleep (as per how i normally read these things)#so when i got to (no spoilers) that one sequence it felt really surreal#i wanted to try and depict half of the feeling i got from it#whether i have done so is debatable buut this was still fun to draw#i didn't make ralsei angry enough in retrospect... am a coward...#sorry these are so messy lol#on one hand if i cleaned it up too much it would stop feeling like a dream#and on the other... just don't have time for a more clean work right now haha#i think that “on one hand/on other” figure of speech is used for comparing options and i just used it wrong#but >:) i do what it want; my figure of speech now#derailed a lot - highly reccomend reading this#and catroic's other works too actually#hy is a amazing writer and has lots of good works to check out if you have the time :D#tumblr compression is a bitch lol this looks soo much better on desktop than mobile for some reason#rare morning post from dawn woah#updated almost 24 hours later because i spelled “recommended” wrong and forgot to sign the image lol
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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Okay, so...amid the chaos that is my brain and the feelings arising regarding my comic...please accept this tiny doodle of Cassandra. I doodled this at the very humble beginnings of this comic.
I literally just made this comic cuz I wanted to draw Cassandra in my style and now...welp y'all know the rest. Now I am so overwhelmed with this comic cuz I am ~deeply~ regretting everything I put Cassandra and Leo and Casey and Mikey through oh stars and it's not even over yet haha...🫠
But!
Just know that I see and hear y'all and I appreciate all your support, seriously, it keeps me going. Thank you 💙✨
#getting soft and vulnerable for a minute here#this comic has got me in a puddle rather unexpectedly#i dunno i just...drew something today that got me thinking a little too ~deeply~#things are feeling so surreal right now eugh boy#anywhizzle!#:)
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i....just finished my huge editing pass on my owl house daemon au. yall what the hell. no its not DONE i'll for sure do more editing as i start posting it, but...all my major edits, those are DONE, those are THROUGH, and...
all that's left to do is 100% confirm that my owl house daemon au, and a grove of palistrom to you, will start posting on june 19th! i cannot BELIEVE i've come this far, you guys....the 19th will be this fic's two year anniversary. and now it'll be slowly released into the wild, one chapter out of like 150+ at a time.
it's, uh, gonna be a year! or two! i hope to see you there! this beast has been my life for so long and im SO excited to start sharing these scenes that have been trapped in my head.
#chatter#and a grove of palistrom to you#now im left with the worst task. somehow naming. forty. three. individual. fics.#im sure that wont destroy me or anything =)#this feels so surreal btw what do you MEAN this project that has been my life for two years is done#all i have to do is post it#which isnt the end by FAR timeline wise i'll probably be posting this for two years lol#but in terms of like. writing. editing. im...past all the biggest parts#that chapter of my life is over.#woag.#anyways time to dive right into the drkau bc i am incapable of resting--
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I feel numb and angry and deeply, deeply sad. how can so many people be so blind and stupid and hateful? it genuinely makes me lose my trust in the people I see passing by me. and I don't want it to but so many more people came out to support such a vile excuse of a human shell. it's so hard to know that so many people picked their desire, their fleeting hope of touching power and wealth over the well being of millions. at least they will burn with us when he razes the economy
#[static]#there is so much wrong but I am very very grateful that I live in the state that I do and the person elected has been a thorn in his side#I just got my hrt appointment booked and hopefully they give me a year prescription so i dont have to think about that for awhile#i am just so scared for so many people in other states ... loved ones ... community members...people i dont know who will suffer needlessly#I'll likely be relatively quiet because everything feels surreal right now and it's going to take awhile to process what happened
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ZAWG YOUR IN THE FANLORE.ORG FOR NOCO!!!
I'm in the WHAT? For WHAT??
I'm a WHAT???
#I had no idea this website existed before right now but lord I'm happy it exists#IM A BIG NAME FAN??? HUH????#like yeah i draw them kissing a lot but to be called a big name fan feels so SURREAL. IM HONORED#THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THIS IS VERY NICE TO KNOW!!!#total drama#noco#total drama noco#td noco#Starry has a question
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On the floor crying my Silent Hill 2 Remake copy arrived today and I'm just asdhjkfjdkjdgljksdfljajsjksjkds I love this series so fucking much, my foggy town is back ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#i can't get over it#holding a new game after 12 years feels so surreal#i have been so sick recently lol this is exactly what i need right now#dice ramblings
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Wait you guys......
Mike and Will are in love
No because like they're just...they're just a wholesome childhood friends to lovers slowburn I'm gonna rewatch like "aww you don't know yet".
Like....
Mike and Will are in love.
They fell in love from ages 12-16(?). That's so cute. What the hell. I just randomly starting thinking about it like it's just some show I just heard about or something and I'm like "aw cute trope". What a cute trope wtf. That's adorable. Two twelve year old boys in the 80s and they fall in love over the course of many years as they grapple with internalized homophobia and homophobia in their small town? That sounds like a GREAT show where can I watch it? That's adorable.
Mike and Will are in love. And...that's just the premise. That's just the premise of their plot. If you came up to me after you watched episode 1 for spoilers and you were like "What happens to Lucas? Dustin? Mike? That girl they found? The kid who went missing?" I could just be like "Dustin gains confidence and becomes besties with Mike's sister's boyfriend after they break up, Lucas meets this girl who's introduced next season and they're really good for each other, the girl gets adopted by the police chief and then into the Byers and has a great found family and independence arc, and the boy who went missing survives and he and Mike fall in love!"
And that'd just be like...right. I'd just be telling you what happens.
#byler#byler endgame#stranger things#i'm processing in the simplest way of like#the knowledge that#not in a bad way but#once it's canon it won't be as big a deal#nothing to prove i'll just be like 'omg that's my favorite show bc it was such a wholesome romance. they fell in love from 12-16?? cmon ado#able!' and not need to elaborate#sometimes i think about it not even as an immediate reaction canon but like#when there isn't memory of it being this huge pop culture moment and you just pass by it on netflix#or when you've heard about it because it was on your youtube homepage one day#and you were like aw that sounds like a really sweet premise#i feel like i'm observing myself right now#like it's so surreal i'm just like#that'd just be true#that'll just be true#i am genuinely post-season 5 gonna find as many people as i can who haven't seen it and make them watch it#and keep me posted on their reactions#it'll be my main source of entertainment#motivation to make new friends also#i work a gig job so i'll keep getting great turnover too
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My brain hasn't fully grasped the fact that Thomas has retired from the NT for real now. And it probably won't sink in for a while.
All I know is that I felt something when he was subbed in against Spain. Something about it felt finite, like he was granted one last moment to enjoy wearing #13 on the pitch.
I still remember that he had been yellow card-banned from playing against Spain in 2010... And every single time he looked teary whenever we dropped out of a tournament.
For now, I want to thrive a little in positive nostalgia. Just a bit longer. Just a little more "Weltmeister samma".
#thomas müller#i was crushing on him in ridiculous amounts in 2010#it all feels so surreal right now
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i wish i could articulate the experience of seeing a band you're into live like actually seeing them in person because its so strange yet fascinating
#every time i hear take me for a ride by sparks it makes me think of the nyc show - the first show of theirs i saw#bc that was their walk on music. and i was front row for that show#and like. it was so surreal. so strange. obviously in a good way but its just something id never experienced before#and i noticed this especially with russell in that i had a weird thought that went 'oh wow thats him. he realls looks like himself'#and like of course he looks like himself but what i meant by that was he looks like that guy who ive seen 5 billion images of. hes that guy#like not only does he look like the him in more recent pictures but seeing him in person like 10 feet away#its like i could recognize every era of him. i could see like 70s russell in his face. bc of course thats his face! but still#is this making any sense.#like i feel like if you met 70s russell once and never saw him again until now youd immediately recognize him#and sure thats because of two other things - one that he has distinct facial features kinda and also that hes aged so well#but it was again so surreal to be like. in the same space. right in front of. fairly close to. that guy whos been in my phone. you know?#this was true for ron and the other guys in the band too of course its that feeling of wow its them! those people ive only seen pictures of!#and again being front row for that was bonkers insane. its like what do you mean these people are real#but the thing w russell i just especially noticed almost immediately when they came out onstage like hes that guy. for real#is this making any sense . anyway i just had to finally get this one out#the only downside of this experience was that yes these people are real and yes they can see me. a little anxiety inducing#its like nooooo dont look at meeeee im such a weirdo i bought a ticket to see you like everyone else here#anyway. concert thoughts
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been listening to a ton of oasis and blur this week and like purely musically purely artistically i think blur is better but theres the fact that oasis was there for me when i was like thirteen/fourteen so obviously i cant just choose one over the other like what the hell do you mean which band do i think is better. but also obviously the answer is oasis. purely because of what those two and a half ish albums i was sooooo super into back in like 2009 mean to me. the gallagher brothers inside my cd player pointed at a previously unoccupied part of my thirteen year old mind and said is this spot taken and didnt wait for an answer and theyre still there. you know how it is
#like it was the first two albums and the very last one. thing is i wasnt even like supermegahugely into them#i did get to see them in concert a month or so before they broke up which was cool and feels a bit surreal now. it was at wembley#but still. oasis has never been my Favorite Band. not even back then#like whats the story morning glory and dig out your soul and like half of definitely maybe are In There like theyre in my dna#but honestly other than those albums the rest of their stuff is just kinda whatever to me. like i guess theyre all right but ehh.#but it Does Not Matter. right place right time right age or whatever. bottom line is they sure are still there and probably will be forever#right next to the david bowie aladdin sane cd my friends got me for my 14th birthday. and we all know how normal im about That one#you know how it is. anyway. heres wonderw[GUNSHOT]#oasis
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so a while ago i made my alarm clock a news reader and today i woke up to a man saying ''news has just broken that liam payne aged 31 has died, falling from a balcony in buenos aires'' right next to my ear
fucking horrifying, i've never woken up that fast
#i'm shaken to the core#it was literally half an hour ago and i immediately spent like 20min scrolling through tiktok to see ppl talking about it#bc the first thing i thought about was how this happened now right when all that shit came up and ppl have been making fun of him#and shitting on him#- for completely valid reasons! bc of the allegations and ppl stepping forward etc but still#and i have to say i'm incredibly thankful that i've clearly interacted with the right ppl/accounts on there#bc the algorithm pretty much only showed me ppl talking about how it's important to remember that you're allowed to feel to things at once#that you are allowed to grieve him and still acknowledge what he did#that what tmz did was despicable and that he and his family didn't deserve that#and that you still shouldn't fucking harass the girls who came forward about him and you should still listen to them#that you can grieve for the version of him you thought he was when you were younger#and still be angry at the person he had become these past few years#and for the love of god to not harass the family or the other 1d members for tributes or harass maya henry or anyone else related to it#i think i might still be a little bit in shock#i can't feel anything#it just feels so surreal#1d was literally the reason i came to tumblr the reason i found fandom as a concept and it was a huge part of my life for so many years#so despite not being the biggest fan of him specifically esp lately it's still a huge shock and horror somehow#i remember thinking when i was younger that one day i would hear that one of the 1d member had died#and it felt insurmountable and absurd and horrible#but most of all i was just so sure it would be waaaay down the line#not now#anyway i just needed to come and let it out#rambles#ignore me
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There is a doctor who companion that was born in 2004 now
am i going to die soon
#doctor who#this is so surreal#i know I'm young i know im young#but fuck i feel 100 years old right now
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SO UH.
FOUND THIS OUT TODAY
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!!! :DDDDDD
it means a lot to me that so many people find my silly internet shenanigans interesting enough to get me to 50 entire followers!! it might not seem like a lot compared to other blogs, but to me, it's basically everything. genuinely, you guys are awesome and i appreciate every single one of you
...and that's why i decided to give you guys something in return!! i'd like to present to you...
THE OFFICIAL MEATBRICKS ARCHIVE!
i figured that i'd give something to the people who stuck around for this long first, so here's an official online reupload of every fanfic i've ever written for my dearly departed urbanspook request blog, meatbricks! i hope you guys enjoy, and once again, thank you SO much for being here and supporting me <3
#scary crane milestone#not fandom#does this make me a niche internet microcelebrity now???#anyways uhh. i might post another thing here too for the people who are new here and/or have no idea wtf a meatbricks is#i'll have to figure it out though lol#anyways thank you guys again; i know i've said it a million times but i'll say it a million times more#its SO surreal to me to see that 50 on my screen. i didn't even think i'd get 5 followers on here honestly#it's so good to be appreciated even by just one person; imagine how it feels when there's 50 of em#seriously i cant even describe how overjoyed i am right now
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