#i feel so guilty for not saying goodbye to her properly
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etherea1ity · 1 year ago
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adrienneleclerc · 5 months ago
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Wrong Name
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader
Summary: Charles pranks Y/N by calling her the wrong name to see how she would react, it did not go well
Warning: spelling and grammatical errors
A/N: inspired by @23victoria post “what did you call me” also I figured Y/N put Charles through two TikTok pranks, it’s only fair Charles pulls a prank on her. Same universe as “say it back” and “can you get out?” Also, super sorry if your name is Romina.
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Charles was on TikTok because he couldn’t sleep and saw a video where a girl called her boyfriend by the wrong name. He decided to take it upon himself to pull this prank on his girlfriend. He just hopes she doesn’t get angry.
“Muñeco, im getting groceries for dinner, I’ll be back soon!” Y/N calls out.
“Okay, Mon ange.” Charles said, getting off the couch to say goodbye to his girlfriend properly. “I love you.” Charles kissed Y/N.
“I love you too.” Y/N said before leaving. Charles decided to play video games and when he heard the door open 30 minutes later, that’s when he decided to put his plan into action. Y/N was putting the groceries away in the fridge when…
“Hey Romina, what did you buy?” Charles said and Y/N closed the fridge and the bags that were on the counter were long forgotten because she was now in front of the TV.
“What did you say?” Y/N asked.
“I said ‘hey Y/N, what did you buy?�� Are you feeling alright?” Charles asked, pausing his game. He felt so guilty for the gaslighting.
“The hell you did, you just called me Romina. Who the fuck is Romina?” Y/N asked in a louder tone.
“Romina, calm down.” Charles said and that’s when he knew he fucked up.
“First of all, you never tell a woman to calm down, have you learned NOTHING from watching TV or having other girlfriends? Second, you just called me Romina AGAIN! So please, calmly tell me…” Y/N said as she went to their bedroom to get one of her chanclas 🩴 “who the hell is Romina before I become like my mother and beat your ass with this chancla.”
“There’s no need to get violent, Y/N.” Charles said.
“Really? Then tell me why did you call me Romina.” Y/N said.
“It was a prank.” Charles said. “I saw a TikTok of girls calling their boyfriends by the wrong name and I wanted to see how you would react.” Charles confessed shyly.
“You chose THAT prank, specifically THAT one, to pull on me, a girl who has been cheated on before?” Y/N asked rhetorically.
“Yeah, I didn’t think it through actually.” Charles admitted.
“Menso, i was actually gonna hit you.” Y/N said.
“You love me too much to hit me.” Charles said.
“That’s true. Anyway, I have to finish putting the groceries away because someone decided to be a pendejo and prank me. Like why would you prank me? I’m a freaking delight.” Y/N said, walking save to the kitchen
“You pranked me twice, ma Belle!” Charles exclaimed, following her.
“Okay but those were cute pranks, that prank would have ended up with me in jail.” Y/N said, putting the groceries away on the fridge, freezer, and pantry.
“I would never let you go to jail.” Charles said,
“Hey, so while I’m cooking dinner, I’m gonna put on some music, okay.” Y/N said.
“Yeah that’s fine.” Charles said and they kissed. Y/N out her phone on full volume to CUIDADITO by Becky G and Chiquis, singing out loud and specific part.
“Yo no soy celosa pero si eso pasa me transformo en otra. Te poncho las llantas dormirás afuera y esa misma noche le marco a mi suegra para que recoja a la cochinada que un día parió. Te rayo el carro te quiebro los vidrios y voy a llamar a todos mis amigos para que me ayuden que en un pisteada lo arregló yo. Nomas cuidadito con ponerme el cuerno que todo eso lo hago y hasta más me atrevo y no mas te advierto que cuidadito con ponerme el cuerno de la que te salvaste da gracias a dios que nomas fue una broma.” Y/N sung, changing the last two words (which are originally ‘un sueño ’ which means ‘a dream’). I’m not a jealous woman but if that were to happen, I become a different person. I’ll slash your tires, you’ll be sleeping outside, and I’ll call my mother in law that same night to pick up the piece of shit she gave birth to. I’ll key your car, break your windows, and I’ll call my friends so they’ll help me, I’ll handle it in one good beating. If you cheat on me, just be careful because I would do all of that and even more, I’m just warning you to be careful if you cheat on me. You got lucky, thank god it was only just a prank
“Mon ange, what’s that song about?” Charles asked curiously.
“The song is about a women who dreamt that her husband cheated on her. She would have done some crazy shit if he actually cheated her so he’s fucking lucky it was only a dream.” Y/N said with a smile.
“But you sang ‘broma’ and that’s means ‘joke’…” charles said,
“Or prank.” Y/N said,
“You sang that for me?!?” Charles yelled.
“Yes I did so you know, cuidadito.” Y/N warned.
“I Don’t know whether to be scared of you or attracted to you.” Charles confessed and Y/N laughed.
“Both work, mi Amor. You want lomo saltado or tallarines saltado?” Y/N asked.
“Whats the difference?” Charles asked.
“Lomo has French fries and is served with rice, tallarines is pasta.” Y/N said,
“Pasta please.” Charles said,
“Of course, muñeco.” Y/N said, chopping the steak into little strips while humming the music to CUIDADITO and Charles stared at her because he found himself humming too.
“You know I would never cheat on you, right Y/N?” Charles asked just to make sure.
“Of course I know you’d never cheat on me. But the song is so catchy.” Y/N commented and that made Charles feel so much better. He walked up to Y/N and hugged her from behind as she continued to chop the steak, he kissed her shoulder.
“I love you,” Charles said,
“I love you too.” Y/N said,
The End
Hope y’all liked it! A silly little one shot for giggles 🤭
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axiina · 1 year ago
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PLSSS soft corio comforting reader after they get he saves her(or them idm) from the arena after she tried to say a proper goodbye to her tribute (kinda like sejanus) but maybe she gets hurt and super traumatized but hes there for her idk
If I Killed Someone for You
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Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x capitol!reader (gender neutral)
Summary: It wasn't supposed to end this way. You just wanted to say goodbye to your tribute, Lamina. Luckily, your boyfriend was there and made sure you didn't get hurt. Just why do you look at him differently now?
Words: 1.5k
Themes: hurt with comfort, a bit of fluff but also angst
Warnings: slight spoilers to movie and book, small changes to canon, Pup isn't Lamina's mentor, character's death, murder, a bit of trauma, blood, comforting, a bit of argument, death, overthinking, reader feels guilty about situation, referring reader as 'you'
Author's note: Lamina deserved better so you are her mentor, fuck this idiot Pup.
It was supposed to be fluff, but it came out a bit sad and traumatic. We got a soft Coriolanus, leaving aside the fact that he killed someone in the process. Enjoy!!
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It was a pure act of desperation.
You just wanted to tell Lamina what you hadn't managed to do before. You had grown close to the young girl, who was horrified by what was happening. The very fact that she was in the arena, alone, without any support was driving you crazy.
She didn't deserve what happened to her. You hoped that maybe Lamina would be able to win and would be able to return home to the family she missed so much.
With each hour of the Hunger Games, her chances seemed to get smaller and smaller. For those few days, you sat like you were on pins and needles staring at the big screen at the Academy. After a while, the helplessness returned and you had to try not to cry in front of the cameras.
Lamina did not deserve it. None of the tributes deserved it. You did everything you could to make Lamina feel as comfortable as possible during the meetings and her stay at the Capitol. In the arena, you tried your best to make sure she wasn't hungry or thirsty. You didn't want her to get hurt. That, however, was not enough. Seeing a boy from her district, Treetch, joining another group made you feel anxious.
"What if they kill her? What if he betrays her…" This thought ran through your head repeatedly like a mantra.
She became weaker and weaker every day.
Your last meeting was too short. You didn't have time to say goodbye to her properly. You wanted her to know that even though you were physically somewhere else, your heart and thoughts were with her, at the arena. You had to say goodbye to her. You wouldn't forgive yourself if Lamina died without hearing a proper goodbye.
That's why you decided to see her one last time. Under cover of darkness, you crept into the arena in disguise and quietly snuck under the beam where Lamina was. Perhaps foolish and reckless, but you didn't think about the consequences. Ever since the girl got to the arena you couldn't find a place. You slept only short naps and didn't even want to meet Coriolanus, who was getting more and more worried about you.
While you were at the arena, every now and then you looked nervously around to the sides to see if anyone was coming. Lamina was surprised when you showed up. It was all surreal and you felt as if you were detached from reality. As soon as you saw Lamina you started crying. You both cried. Now the knowledge of how dangerous the arena was came to you like a powerful punch. She can't die. You don't remember what exactly you told her. You don't know if you said anything that made sense to her at all. The adrenaline made your mind kind of foggy. However, you know that it lifted her spirits. She knew you were with her and supporting her. You don't know exactly how much you were in the arena.
Everything happened so fast when Coriolanus grabbed your arm. Your brain didn't even register the fact that the boy appeared there practically out of nowhere. He looked terrified. He spoke quickly and incoherently. You only understood as he begged you to run away from there, because at any moment someone might come out of the tunnels and kill you. You were frozen with panic when it came to you. They hate the Capitol. They hate you too, and they certainly wouldn't think twice before killing you. Your fear was increased when Lamina's eyes widened in horror and only one word came out of her mouth.
Run.
Tributes began to leave the tunnels. As soon as they noticed that there were two mentors in the arena they started running towards you. Because of the adrenaline in your veins, you don't remember much of what happened next. You and Coriolanus ran as fast as you could when Coral, Mizzen, Tanner and Bobbin chased you while holding objects in their hands that could be the cause of your upcoming death.
The next scene that stuck in your mind was when your boyfriend hit one of the tributes on the head with a wooden plank. The boy fell down, and Coriolanus, without thinking much, hit him a second time. Then another and another. You looked at the body of Bobbin lying lifeless and Snow standing over him, unable to get a single word out. Your heart was raging and your head was spinning, feeling fear. You were terrified.
You couldn't tell what was the reason. The fact that you had just nearly died in the arena, or…. no, it couldn't have been that. He was merely trying to defend you. Yes, that was definitely the reason. Coriolanus is not a murderer, he was just…. he was terrified and acted emotionally. Bobbin would have killed him if Coryo hadn't done it first. Then you would have been next in line. Yes, that's what would have happened.
Both of you were injured, but at that moment it didn't even cross your mind to ask him how he was feeling. The Peace Keepers almost carried you out of there. Your parents were as terrified as you were. By the time you were sitting in your room wrapped in a blanket as your mother hugged you crying something finally hit you. You could have died. Your family would have been devastated. Your friends and…Coriolanus. Well, exactly, Coriolanus. He almost died because of your fault. Your stupidity and recklessness. Now he is injured and probably suffering, and you are not there with him. After what happened you didn't even say a stupid thank you to him.
"What were you even thinking! You could have died there! Did you even think about your loved ones? About me? What would have happened to me if you had died there? If I didn't get there in time!" Coriolanus repeated walking in circles around the empty classroom, the next morning. You had your head bent down, and tears were running down your cheeks. How could you do something like that?
Coriolanus sighed and sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around your body, pulling you closer.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't yell like that. You're probably still terrified. I was just…scared. I was scared that I would lose you."
It seemed to you that his voice cracked as the boy pressed his cheek against your head.
"Don't do that again. Don't scare me like that. If you had died I wouldn't have forgiven myself. I wouldn't be able to live normally." He whispered in your ear with a trembling voice.
"I'm here, love. I will always be until you have had enough of me. Although, most likely, even then I won't give you a break." A quiet, slightly trembling chuckle left his lips, at which you also smiled involuntarily.
"Enough of you? Never." you replied in an amused voice gently pulling away, but still remaining in his embrace. "I'm sorry, Coryo…I'm so terribly sorry for you. I just wanted to say goodbye to Lamina. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I don't want her-"
"Shhh, it's okay." Coriolanus rested his forehead against yours and took your face in his hands gently stroking your cheeks. "It is past. The most important thing is that we came out of it alive. Lamina is also alive and relatively well, excluding the circumstances."
"Thank you, Coryo. Thank you for everything. For saving me that night and that you do not resent me for it." You whispered, trying not to cry. You nuzzled your cheek into his palm and placed a gentle kiss on it.
Coriolanus' face moved closer to yours and he gently brushed your lips with his own as if he was afraid he would frighten you.
"I am angry at you. Earlier even furious, but I love you too much to stay mad at you." Coryo gently rubbed his nose against yours and looked into your eyes.
His beautiful blue eyes. Cold, but at the same time it makes you feel at home. Eyes that yesterday were raging and at one point…full of hatred.
Your smile slowly disappeared as you remembered what happened to Bobbin.
"Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday-" you started uncertainly, but Coriolanus cut you off.
"No." His voice seemed cold and in a moment you were embarrassed and your heart beat faster. You were the reason he had to do it, and now you're reminding him of it. Maybe he thinks you are blaming it on him.
Your thoughts, however, were interrupted by your boyfriend's voice. Softer this time.
"I didn't mean to. I didn't want to do it, but it was stronger than me…Please don't hate me. I love you and I did it for you too."
His eyes were glassy and he seemed panicked. You shook your head in denial and took his hand in yours bringing it close to your lips and kissed his knuckles.
"No, you're a good person, Coryo. Nothing has changed. I continue to love you, and you only proved me during the night that I couldn't find a better one."
Coriolanus wrapped his arms around you and kissed your forehead.
"You know you don't have to…you don't have to be afraid of me. I wouldn't hurt you. Never."
You froze for a brief moment. It was as if he was reading your mind. How could you think that about him? He saved you. If not for him, you would be dead.
It was stronger than that. When he approached you this morning your heart was beating faster and a chill went through your body.
"It's because I love him. Typical reaction" You repeated to yourself in your mind.
Every time you felt his hands stroking your hair while you were hugging, you thought about how tightly he gripped that wooden plank with which he cracked the head of the boy in the arena. How the blood spurted onto his snow white shirt from his school uniform. And those eyes. The eyes that always made you feel butterflies in your stomach, and then they seemed so unfamiliar. You thought about how later after the situation at the arena, he tried to approach you, and you took a step back with your eyes wide open in horror.
Of course, he knew. You don't need to read minds to know that. And he was intelligent. He knew right away.
"I know, I know, Coryo. It's just…" you knew that if you continued your voice would break. Besides, you didn't know what to say. You snuggled into his neck hugging him more tightly at the waist. You don't want to hurt him with such thoughts, but they are so intrusive. You can't get them out of your head despite his reassurances, affectionate words and gentle touch. "I'm sorry, I should be there for you, and I'm making everything worse."
You whispered soaking the collar of his shirt with your tears.
His hand went to your hair gently stroking it.
"Stop, it's not your fault."
You stayed like that in each other's embrace, in silence. Words are not important now. What is important is that you are together and nothing will change that.
He will not hurt you. Yes, he won't hurt you.
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darkphoenix07 · 1 year ago
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Hi love if requests are still opened may I have an established relationship hongjoong oneshot where reader isolates herself frequently because of mental health and spends a lot of unwanted time in bed because she can’t muster up the courage to get up where hj helps her start her day and stuff?
Hongjong helps you as you isolate yourself often
Masterlist
Series Poll
Mental Health Request
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Paring : Hongjong x Reader
Genre : Comfort, Fluff, Romance, Dance
Song 🎶: Everything I wanted by Billie Eilish and Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift
7.00 a.m.
You hear Hongjong entering the house as he parks his car in the garage. You want to get up, run towards him and hug him. You want to break in his arms feeling free as tears leave your eyes. You wish you could get up but it's too hard.
You have been lying on the bed for the whole day like a corpse. He called you a million times for having breakfast but you said you weren't hungry. He left kissing you goodbye, saying he loves you. But you didn't even say love you back. You laid there not moving a single muscle, not taking shower or having food.
Right now you can't feel your body. You don't feel like you are in this universe anymore. The pain, the anxiety, the panic attack have taken over your body suppressing everything.
"Baby, are you home?" His sweet voice echoes in the living room.
You haven't touched him for how long you don't remember. You don't know when was the last time, you kissed him, hugged him properly. Sex is far.
"Baby!" The way he calls you baby. It should pick your body up. You feel guilty for being such a prick. But you can't help. You imagine how he will leave you alone, you'll be able to lay here for the rest of your life until you actually become a corpse.
There looking for you, he enters in your room. Seeing the darkness of your room, the curtains all down, your blanket covering half of your body and you same gaze at the ceiling, he understands you haven't moved from the bed.
"Hey, are you feeling alright?" He asks entering as he touches you forehead.
"Hm," you mumble not wanting to get attacked with more questions.
But he notices how messed up your hair is though you aren't warm or cold. You are still wearing the dress from three days ago which means you haven't showered for three days.
You think of the consequences that will occur if he switches on the lights, pulls the blanket off you and starts screaming at you. What will you do?
You wait for it but the lights aren't being turned on, no screaming is around you like it used to happen in your household. Its more quite than usual that you can hear his heartbeat beside yours.
"Can I get inside?"
You would have said no. You would have pushed him away. But the way he asked you, the way he plead like he is asking foe forgiveness that you had to move slightly making space for him.
He gets inside the blanket though you know you stick as bad as a garbage can. He pulls you on his hand, "I want to have dinner outside with you or we can have a terrible cheat day. Only street foods and chocolate or ice cream. What do you say?"
You don't answer him so he looks at you with all of the love he has for you, "Or we can stay here in the bed while I sing for you. Then we can take a shower together while dancing and order dinner. I can make you some too but I am not as good as Wooyoung when it comes to cooking."
You look at him with sleepy eyes. His touch makes you realize how long you haven't slept. Maybe three days or more. It happened without any reason. You don't know why you are feeling like this life doesn't matter or why you don't want to move. You feel heartbroken, guilty for not having a single reason to tell him why you are feeling this much heavy.
"Baby. You'll become sick. I would let you stay here but you look so pale. I am worried," he says pulling you close to his chest, "You know how much I love you, right?"
You wanted to walk up a while ago. But it was just night. The ending of another day you could have spent productively that you wasted. You feel so disgusted by your own self but the man in front of you gazing at you like you are some diamond.
"I don't know what to do," that's when you speak up because you don't want to disappoint him. He has so much patience and hope for you. You understand now that if you speak up maybe he will understand but it's just too hard.
"Will you let me do something for you?" He asks kissing your forehead gently.
You don't say anything as a positive answer and he gets up, "Stay in your little paradise for some moment. I am coming back."
He says and rushes outside. After some while, you hear his car's sound. You don't understand and you forget that you should care after sometimes. You curl around hugging your blanket drowning in your dark side again.
You don't know how long it passes away before Hongjong comes, "I am going to pick you up. Okay?"
He warns you so you can say no if you want to. But you don't say anything or do anything as he cradles you up in his arms and walks outside the room. You notice the lights are all off, there is just the chandelier lighting in the living room.
As he enters in the bathroom of the room you two share, you see there are scented candles on the sink area. He doesn't stop here, he places you inside the tub filled with purple flower petals, you don't understand what flower are these. But the sudden warm water washes thrill over your whole body. You start feeling a little better from the warm water.
He helps you take off the clothes and runs outside again. You start hearing him playing Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift in the background before he enters in the bathroom again with a fruit salad bowl.
He sits outside the tub feeding you the salad, "I thought you may faint so I had to give you some food and suger."
You smile as you keep having the fruits one by one. Some little effort is all you wanted to give to feel better again but it was too hard.
"Join me," you tell him making his eyes go big.
He places the bowl on the sink and makes you stand up, "I have a better idea," and pushes the shower button. Cold water starts washing over both of you and you start giggling seeing him shiver.
It's so adorable yet fascinating how he is looking and acting right now. He holds your one hand and wraps your waist with another, "Let's dance in the rain."
"It's literally summer," you tell him as he spins you while the water of the tub splashes around dripping on the floor.
"Who cares?" He says pulling you towards him and again moving you with him. The dance, the movements, they are so messy yet perfect for your body to feel alive. It's like every cell of your body is waking up one by one.
"Kiss me," he says cupping your face in his hands and your lips find his in no time.
You wish you would have talked about your feelings to him earlier, you wish you wouldn't waste your time, you wish you would kiss him back and say love you back. But it's alright, you tell yourself. It's alright because I can do it now.
"Hongjong," you say as you wrap yourself in the towel and he looks at you.
"I love you," you tell him and his smile gets bigger than ever.
"I love you," he says and pecks you on the lips.
No, you haven't stopped feeling the heaviness yet but you have stopped blaming yourself making it look like a crime for feeling depressed without any reason. Every feeling is precious after all.
For the people who thinks your feelings aren't valid. They are.
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gingiesworld · 1 year ago
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Call Me When You're Sober
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Natasha Romanoff x GN! Maximoff Reader
Warnings: Angst. Nothing but angst.
Thank you @ginnsbaker for helping me re-live my emo stage that I haven't really left behind. <3
18+ MINORS DNI
Ever since the accident, Nat has done nothing but drown her sorrows. Even ignoring the help of her partner Y/N Maximoff. Every night was the same for Nat, she would be sat on the sofa, a bottle in her hand as she drowned her sorrows. Every morning was Y/N picking up the empty bottles and throwing them in the recycle.
As the weeks went on and nothing changed, Y/N then went to their sister. Hoping to find some comfort they never had in their apartment.
"She's still drunk?" Wanda questioned as she made two coffees. The twins were out in the yard playing with Vision.
"Yeah. I understand the accident was hard on all of us." Y/N started as Wanda placed the cups in front of them.
"It was hardest on you Y/N. You're the one who has to live with a prosthetic." Wanda stated as Y/N shook their head.
"I feel like I am drowning Wanda." They whispered with sadness in their eyes. "I wish I had died in that accident."
"Don't say that." Wanda told them sternly. "If you want, I can talk to Vis and maybe you can stay here?" Wanda told them as they gave her a small smile.
"I'll be fine Wanda. Thank you." They supped their coffee before they hugged her goodbye, walking to their apartment only to find Nat sat there with yet another bottle in her hand. Y/N sighed before they snatched the bottle from her hand.
"Hey!" Nat slurred as Y/N poured it down the drain. "I was drinking that."
"And now you're not." Y/N stated plainly as they turned to face her. "I am getting sick of this Natasha. I wake up every damn day to the same thing! You passed out and a bottle in your hand. Empty beer bottles littering the counter. Hell, even my own sister who has a family of her own had to help me with my recovery while you drowned your sorrows in a bottle."
"Y/N." She tried as she suddenly remembered the accident.
The two were just coming home from Tony's party, Nat was drunk in the passenger seat as Y/N remained the designated driver.
"Come on Y/N. Let me drive." Nat slurred as Y/N shook their head no. "I promise I'm sober enub."
"If you said enough properly then I may have half believed you." Y/N chuckled at their girlfriend. Not really expecting Nat to try and take the wheel, causing the two to drive off down into the bank and into a tree. Her eyes widened as she noticed that Y/N was out cold as she reached for her phone in her pocket, dialing 911. Not anticipating the consequences of her actions. The life changing injuries that Y/N will have to live with.
"I almost killed you!" Nat yelled as Y/N sighed. "I almost killed you. I was the reason you lost your leg."
"Nat." Y/N started. "You were drunk that night and I was tired. Too fucking tired but right now, I'm exhausted or carrying us, our relationship on my shoulders." Nat shook her head as Y/N couldn't hold in their anger anymore. "YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME!! I NEEDED YOU!! I lost my leg and had to learn how to walk again while you were here. Getting drunk and feeling guilty while Wanda helped me through it all."
Y/N looked around and grabbed a bag, ready to leave as Nat followed them unsteadily on her feet.
"Where are you going?" She slurred as she watched Y/N pack some clothes.
"Away from here." Y/N stated as they zipped the bag up. "I can't be here while you don't want to help yourself. I understand you're suffering but so am I and I can't focus on me while you are here getting drunk." Nat watched as Y/N walked passed her. Only stopping them when she grabbed the back of their jacket and knocking them down.
"Please don't leave me." She pleaded as Y/N groaned, looking at their prosthetic which lay on the floor.
"Fuck Natasha!" Y/N yelled as they noticed the the crack in the ankle. "You've fucked it."
"I'm so sorry Y/N. Please." She whispered as she watched them reach their crutches. Putting their bag over their shoulder.
"Call me when your sober Natasha." With those words, they left the apartment, leaving Nat with her tears and self hatred.
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milgram-tournament · 9 months ago
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MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 5 I LOVE YOU vs. CAT
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Propaganda for both options under the cut!
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Propaganda for I LOVE YOU:
mappi’s spitting bars 🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️
ok but i, as the iloveyoucountdown person before it released, waited 89 days for ily and SHE DID NOT DISAPPOINT‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥 go vote ily now bc its peak music
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the acoustic section where it just feels so raw and emotional it's crazy also we love to see mappi/miho okasaki rapping again and good lord mahiru delivered hadauwd, like you think about it a lot? like "Ishokujuu plus ai Miss you Raishuu aemasuka no Cadence Yurusarenai ikigai mou iki mo dekinai" it's also so catchy just "Dai- dai- dai- datte suki suki! Dai- dai- dai- datte daisuki."
it's such a quick song but it delivers and it DELIVERS WELL there's so much in the instrumental you can also miss, like sirens and such! again guitar section it's crazy!! i didn't even touch on the visuals, like the visuals are absolutely amazing and really touch on the toxic cycle of mahiru's relationship for example, the carousel turning into a forest! and also they were still able to implement some of tihtbilwy in the beginning of the song! we got to see mahiru's boyfriend as well!! additionally, RATS AND CAKE. HOLY SHIT we all know the absolute shock that appeared on everyone's faces the second that cake turned into a rat (to be honest, I was absolutely sick with shock for the rest of the day) It's really amazing as a song and MV, plus it did help give some more information on Mahiru!
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miho okasaki's vocals are so powerful. it sounds like mahiru is screaming because of not being forgiven and because of what happened to her boyfriend and because "she can't just do it right".
THE LYRICS ARE SO. "clothes food shelter + love and miss you"?? "my lethal weapon is how to be in love with you"?? "kiss goodbye to this feeling cuz it's too heavy"?? again, the "why can't i just do it right" line?? SO GOOD.
MAHIRU RAPPING. THIS SONG STARTS WITH HER RAPPING. LITERAL CHILLS
i've heard the i love you chorus once and now it's in my head forever. i wake up, i sing the i love you chorus. i go to sleep, i sing the i love you chorus.
the lyrics are so sad when you start thinking about them more. "saying i love you but doing what i did, i know i have no right, crossed and covered in sin"?? please, don't you want to give mappi a hug. please she deserves it. she needs it
the "DIE-suki" pun.
the mv is so. i can talk about it for hours. it literally starts with showing us what happened to her bf. i've watched it live, i knew about this part and i still was shocked. mahiru's boyfriend is dead. mahiru is also rapping. also, the lyrics. this scene is terrifying to me and i mean it in the best way possible.
the cake symbolism. mahiru refusing to accept her reality and the true nature of her relationship with her bf and still seeing everything around her as cute and soft and pink. her feeling guilty and not knowing how to express love properly and still choosing to continue to love in this way. i don't know, something about it is so.. it's so sad and so realistic and so heartbreaking
i love how we can say so much about her relationship with her boyfriend based on mv and the lyrics. this is more of a theory and i probably shouldn't talk about it but i like the fact that mappi and her bf's relationship wasn't just abusive or one-sided love or anything like that. it's like they loved each other, they just.. didn't know how to show it or express it in a healthy way (or maybe mahiru's bf did know, but he was okay with going through all of this for her). like this scene when they're both riding the carousel and looking happy at first and even when both of them look like a mess, mahiru's face expression is still pretty much the same while her boyfriend looks much more tired, but he's still smiling. something about that part breaks me.
the instrumental is so fun and chaotic and creepy please listen to it. all milgram instrumentals are great but ily instrumental is definitely one of my fav ones.
Propaganda for CAT:
"You like jazz? Jazz is chaos within order. Got to love the whole band. Vibraphone, saxophone, trumpet, flute, piano, guitar, drums, bass… Go, rhythm section, go! The song sounds tender at times and aggressive at others as different instruments pop up at different times. Sometimes they follow Kazui’s voice (“follow the king of the masquerade”). Sometimes they get to be the focus. You have the chill piano one moment and the screaming guitar in the next.
You’ve got a lovely “jingle” (“Lie until it gets better…”) which occurs at the beginning, middle, and end. It fits the “newspaper ad” style of the video really well. Also at the very end, there’s one more line that gives the jingle an upward contour, giving a sense of finality. “Until you can meet the king of the masquerade.” You’re there now.
The two verses start off differently before they take on a similar melody. It feels like Kazui is talking to a different person in each verse.
The chorus is a beautiful façade the first time and a sinister truth the second time.
The opening for solos shows that this jazz song means business. I love how the saxophone and trumpet especially get in your face. And with the tacet on vocals, the walking bass really shines if you lend it your ear.
And the smoke break! Silence is golden. Glass click. Lighter. Huff.
As always, Kazui’s voice is super deep. He hits even lower notes this time around. He’s a fifth lower than the next lowest singers (Haruka and Shidou)."
---
-Great instrumental choice. Kazui and jazz is *chefs kiss*
-Symbolism. THE SYMBOLISM. I can’t type out all my thoughts but ifykyk
-The almost comic like style of the MV is really appealing.
-Lyrics!! There is so much to unpack but it’s really cool.
-Kazui eating the dove… fricken iconic.
---
FIRST OF ALL the vocals????? BEAUTIFUL. His va put his whole pussy into this song and you can tell!! The way he sings the chorus is so damn addicting I'm so in love with him. His voice is more or less stable throughout the entire thing until the final chorus but you can hear the emotion peaking out which fits perfectly with Kazui keeping everything hidden. The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper during "all the things I wanna do that I can't say outloud"??? The way his voice starts trembling during "this feeling it's yearning to be satisfied"???? The way his voice turns into a sort of whisper AND starts trembling during "hey, if I said I liked-liked you, what would you?"?????? HEAVENLY! You can really feel how afraid Kazui is under his disguise and my heart breaks a little everytime I listen. Not to mention how absolutely powerful his voice gets at the climax!!!!!! It's insane!!!!!!! It's genius!!!!!! It makes me wild makes me crazy makes me eat my walls!!!!!!!!!!
THE SMOKE BREAK?????? What other song has something as powerful as that huh???? This isn't just a song produced by the milgram machine using his memories, this is HIS song and he is OWNING IT! The music builds up so much and gets so intense right before it, I can literally feel myself get tense and starting holding my breath right before he takes the break and everything relaxs… it's not just a break for him, but a break for the viewer. The song is spiralling out of control just like his life and his lies and he has no choice but to put it to a quick stop before its too much to handle.
THE IMAGERY IS WILD!!!!! He's a magician!!! Little magic guy!!!! Using tricks and lies to amaze and captivate the people around him! Trying desperately to magic his own feelings into something else! But it's all fake! It's all tricks and no matter how hard he tries he can never actually change himself into what he wants! But he's trying to convince himself the same way he's convinced his audience!! And when you're watching a magic act, are you there for the magician themself or are you there to watch the show?? The people in his life only cared for him when he performed for them, but they didn't give a drop of love to who he was a person! ALSO the transformation of the wedding ring to a cigarette to the dove at the end??? Makes me wild every single time! Right infront of his wife, he showed her that their marriage was something unhealthy for him that was slowly killing him from the inside. AND THEN he uses it to harm himself???? And then he turns that cigarette into a dove- a representation of love and literally TEARS INTO IT. He tears his marriage apart with his mouth!!! AKA HIS WORDS. makes me wild. Also fun fact Kazui says he started smoking because when he was younger it was "just natural for everyone to smoke" and that lines up with his reasons for marriage perfectly.
Kazui looks really hot in it. You should vote for Cat because Kazui is insanely attractive. What other reason do you need huh? Hot gay middle aged man.
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muiitoloko · 8 months ago
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Between Takes and Waistlines
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Summary: Alan, a mature and charming actor, is enchanted by the talented costume designer.
Pairing: Alan Rickman × Fem!Reader
Warning: none.
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Alan rolls his eyes in amusement at costume designer, you, while you gasps in disbelief, taking his measurements.
"Good grief, Alan! Have you been sneaking off to the buffet table between takes?" You exclaims, measuring his waist.
Alan chuckles, "Oh, you caught me. Couldn't resist the allure of those craft service pastries. A man's gotta eat, you know."
You shakes your head, still incredulous. "Well, you'll have to lay off the pastries if you want to fit into your costumes properly. We can't have Lionel Shabandar looking like he's been indulging in too much fine dining."
Alan nods, feigning seriousness. "Yes, yes, I suppose you're right. I'll just have to stick to sipping water and nibbling on celery sticks from now on. The sacrifices we make for art."
You laughs, rolling your eyes. "Oh, stop it, Alan. You know you love your snacks too much to give them up completely."
Alan shrugs, a playful glint in his eyes. "Guilty as charged, my dear. But hey, at least I'll be a well-fed actor, right?"
You chuckles, shaking your head. "You're incorrigible, Alan. But I wouldn't have it any other way."
As you continues to take his measurements, Alan can't help but steal glances at your, admiring her beauty and grace. He knows he's too old for you, but that doesn't stop him from fantasizing about you every night. He sighs inwardly, pushing aside his desires as he focuses on the task at hand. After all, he wouldn't want to make things awkward between them on set.
As you finish with Alan's measurements, you take the pen out of your blouse and retrieve your small notebook from the pocket of your jeans. With a focused expression, you begin making new notes of Alan's measurements, ensuring everything is accurately recorded. Once satisfied, you glance up at him, a warm smile on your lips.
"Alright, handsome, we’re done here,” you inform, your voice full of enthusiasm for the work ahead. "These costumes will fit you perfectly."
Alan returns your smile with his signature charm, his eyes twinkling with appreciation. "Thank you, my dear. Your expertise is truly unmatched."
As he starts to make his way over to where his coat is, he pauses, a hint of hesitation crossing his features. Trying to appear casual, he clears his throat before speaking.
"Hey, I was thinking," Alan begins, his tone light. "The cast was talking about grabbing some drinks tonight. Would you care to join us?"
But you seem distracted, engrossed in your notes as you continue jotting down measurements. After a long silence, you finally seem to notice that Alan is still standing there, and you blink in confusion.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Alan," you apologize, a faint blush tinting your cheeks. "Did you say something?"
Alan's heart sinks a little at your apparent lack of attention, but he quickly recovers, offering a clever comment to change the subject.
"Oh, it was nothing important," he says smoothly, masking his disappointment with a charming smile. "Just thinking out loud. Well, I should be off. Goodbye, my dear."
With a polite nod, Alan takes his leave, pretending as though he had never extended the invitation for drinks, even if it was with the rest of the film's cast. As he walks away, he can't help but feel a pang of regret, knowing that he'll continue to pine for you from afar, unable to act on his desires.
Later, Alan comes home a little tipsy after all the drinks he's had. He stumbles to his bedroom, barely bothering to take off his clothes as he flops onto the bed, settling onto his pillow. Once again, his mind turns to you, and he tries in vain to push thoughts of you away, but it's no use. With a disappointed groan, he can't help but consider the idea of eating more and gaining weight again, just so you would have to take his measurements once more. He enjoyed having your hands touching him, measuring him, and hearing your voice as you spoke to him.
As Alan recalls this moment, he stops his story when Jimmy Fallon laughs, and Alan joins in, his baritone voice adding a touch of sophistication to the laughter. Jimmy questions if Alan really got fat just to have a chance to talk to you again, and Alan, a little embarrassed but still maintaining his wit, confirms the truth behind his actions.
"Well, Jimmy," Alan begins, his hooked nose giving him an air of distinction, "one must do what one can for love, even if it means sacrificing one's waistline for the pleasure of a lady's company."
As the audience chuckles, Alan's gaze drifts to where you're sitting, a fond smile playing at his lips. Despite the age gap, he couldn't deny the deep affection he felt for you. And as he continues to share his story, recounting how he eventually gathered the courage to confess his feelings and the joy of finding out that you felt the same way, he knows that every moment was worth it.
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aspoonofsugar · 2 years ago
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Love that last volume's climax starts with Ruby thinking Yang died to protect her:
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And this one starts with Yang thinking Ruby died because she did not protect her enough:
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And of course both are wrong:
Yang shields Ruby out of instinct and it is definately not Ruby's fault if she fell. It is something that can happen while fighting side by side with someone.
Ruby attempts to kill herself not because Yang has not been there for her enough. Not because she has moved into a romantic relationship when Ruby needed her most. Tbh, the volume is full of scenes where Yang keeps checking on Ruby.
Yang would have probably shielded Blake and Weiss too. Ruby would have probably drunk the tea even if Yang and Blake did not kiss. Still, both sisters think the other's pain could have been avoided. If only they were better.
Yang and Ruby's relationship has been paradoxical since the beginning. Yang is Ruby's stand-in mom, while Ruby is Yang's leader. Both think the other is a better version of themselves, someone they can look up to. Ruby is inspired by Yang's strength. Yang is inspired by Ruby's optimism. Maybe they also envy the other a little. Like many siblings do.
And yet, they also feel they owe the other something. Ruby is Yang's little sister, so Yang owes her warmth and protection. Yang is Ruby's stand-in parent, so Ruby owes her to be a good child. They love each other, but also they feel they are not enough for each other. Because both feel the emptiness left by Summer and project it on the other. They know they could never fill that emptiness. And feel guilty about it.
We have had bits of this dynamic throughout the whole series, most notably in Mistral. There both feel they are letting the other down:
Yang feels guilt over not going with Ruby. She shows distress when she overhears Tai implying he can't run after Ruby because he has to look out for Yang. Eventually she puts on her arm and leaves home, all for her sister's sake.
Ruby feels guilt over leaving Yang alone, when her sister has already lost so much. She feels so terrible about it, she can't even say goodbye properly. She leaves a note and then keeps on writing letters to her. To show her she cares, even if she is far away. The moment they meet, Ruby starts crying and immediately apologizes for leaving Yang.
Basically, Yang feels terrible for not running straight up into danger after being hurt both physically and psychologically. Ruby instead feels selfish because she decides to travel the world to save people. This should give us a measure of how they have a lot of interiorized guilt toward each other.
This dynamic is finally exploding. I think Ruby's suicidal attempt will bring to the surface a lot of unsolved issues (maybe even leading to Yang regressing a little), which will then be solved and explored in Vacuo, where Raven and Summer are coming back.
My guess is the 2 sisters need to grow up into their own different people. They need to outgrow the roles they have been playing for each other's sake and reforge their bond into a stronger and healthier one.
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kestrel-bee · 1 month ago
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Alright so for Sasha’s Character arc could’ve been written better would we’d have more Sasha screentime in Season 2 to see more of her character progression. Like would you rewrite “Toadcatcher” or have some more Sasha episodes?
I mean I would personally wanted to see more of her onscreen development.
It’s not so much that I would rewrite any episodes per se, I just think she needed more little small moments showing that she wasn’t quite sure about her plans, so that when she DID make the switch it wouldn’t feel as rushed.
I think Toadcatchers is like, one of the only S2 episodes that show that she’s acting out of anger, hurt, and a need for control over her situation (I think so anyway, I haven’t watched Amphibia in awhile.)
Her entire S2 arc could have been fixed (for me anyway) by just having one or two little moments towards the end where she looks guilty about what she’s planning to do. Something like:
Anne: “…I can’t wait to see/do this with you when we get back home!”
Sasha, looking to the side with a guilty/pensive expression: “haha, yeah…when we get home…” [redirects Anne’s focus to something else, episode continues as normal]
I remember being pissed that Sasha during the The Dinner and Battle of the Bands wasn’t acting even a LITTLE bit guilty about how she was about to betray literally EVERYONE, and send away her friends forever without the chance to properly say goodbye.
Absolutely no remorse from her until AFTER her and Grimes’ plan fails, she watches Marcy get run through with a sword, and has to run away to Wartwood and win over the residents. And then it’s all “I’ve seen the errors of my ways! Even though I was 100% ready to overthrow everyone and create a toad empire 5hrs ago, you should trust me!!”
Besides the way her arc progresses though, I appreciate Sasha as a character. She gives such a good representation of what a toxic friend acts like, and Sasha and Anne’s face off during the end of S1 hits hard for me. And having her realize that she’s wrong, and that she needs to let go of the need to have control is a GREAT arc for a character like her, because it shows that just because you have toxic personality traits, it doesn’t mean you can’t change and become a better person.
It just sucks that her character arc wasn’t demonstrated all that well in S2.
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luckyqueenreign · 1 year ago
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ozzy...
going to tag some ozzy girlies...sorry if I missed you:
@noahsthottie @operationnope @cycat4077 @oliverslove @queen-of-boops @mendie91 @kunepie @earlyevenings @damagedsavefile @katsie
so ive had time to breathe from yesterdays disastrous update and I also replayed it again this morning and maybe it's bc I already knew what was going to happen or maybe playing it again made me realize a few new things but I'm actually not as mad w/ Ozzy as I was yesterday...
in my playthrough, Roberto was the one that pulled MC for a chat after the casa recoupling to talk about how ozzy was feeling during casa, his massive insecurities and that he was the one that wrote the note for MC. In my opinion this conversation basically lays out the foundation and road map for this weeks update.
We know that MC and Ozzy obviously had feelings for each other pre-casa, but they were never actually official. MC had MULTIPLE guys trailing after her around the villa and even if she felt the strongest connection to Ozzy - in his defense we never really told him this. Even the kiss goodbye was just that...a kiss goodbye. When we have the first chat with him he opens up and tells MC how much he missed her and how he felt when she was gone and when she says she missed him back. he's obviously happy but its almost like he's relieved and surprised she feels the same way. Being that they've never been coupled and never had a "this is it...you're the only one I want" chat his insecurities here are completely valid.
Then we hear about Ozzy making mad moves at casa. And at first I was PISSED especially bc in my mind that kiss goodbye was me telling him I wanted him. But then I started to think about how this is so completely out of character for Ozzy. This man doesnt do one night stands, he's held out on kissing MC until he had properly sorted his feelings for her and Grace so for him to get to the point where he's in a pool skinny dipping with two strangers, he must've been feeling super low and super insecure. (call back to Roberto telling us he has way more insecurities than we know) He tells us multiple times that when he saw the postcard he thought that Grace and MC were both moving on and he had to make moves. but what got me around this second playthrough was his instant guilt in the moment after it happened. If Ozzy was really a player who went around skinny dipping and triple kissing girls, he wouldnt have been racked with guilt. He wouldve just brought back a Casa girl bc that wouldve been the easy way out. But he didnt do that. And sure do I wish he had been more upfront about it on our very first convo? Absolutely!! but then I do see his side about feeling so guilty about it, being insecure and ultimately being inexperienced in scenarios such as this...bc this is not in his character!
all in all I still do think theres a redemption arc for Ozzy somewhere here. and if you have followed me since s5 you know I wont give up that easy 💀
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fangirlingfromdownunder · 11 months ago
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Comfort in the Bunker
Summary - Part 46 in the Comfort series
Pairing - Dean Winchester x Reader, Reader x Sam (platonic), Reader x Bobby (father-figure), Andre (OG Character) x Reader (best friends), Garth x Bess
Series Masterlist | Masterlist
A/N: In case I haven’t been saying it enough lately, I just wanted to let you guys know how much I appreciate you all: all your likes, comments, reblogs and even if you’re a silent supporter I appreciate you all the same. You guys constantly remind me why I love writing so much. So, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this week’s chapter. 
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You spend a few more quiet days with Garth and Bess observing and getting tips to help keep Destiny on the right path and give her everything she needs to thrive. At Destiny’s request, you end up getting a blow-up mattress for her to sleep on the floor in the guest room with you and Dean. That had cemented in your mind that she was coming home with you. You can tell Dean’s still unsure and nervous about it all, but he’s trying his hardest for you and the more real it becomes the more he gets on board. Over the past few days, he’s tried to talk to her more and make her feel more comfortable around him. He even took her for a drive, just the two of them, so he could properly apologise for her father and start to make amends. And all of it has just made you love him even more. You couldn’t be more sure that he’s the one for you and glad that you married him amidst the chaos. 
Feeling more confident and prepared to take this massive step you and Dean start packing your bags and the Impala. After a lengthy discussion and lots of back and forth between the two of you, you finally agreed that for now you would just go back to the bunker and help her settle. You will help her decorate and set up a room of her own beside yours. You also agreed that it would be best to home-school her for now until she’s settled and you settle on a place to live more permanently. Rather than risking overwhelming her or forcing her to bounce around schools like Sam and Dean did. 
You fold your clean clothes back into your bags as you watch Dean struggle to deflate the mattress. Once he finally gets most of the air out and rolls it most of the way up, he sits on it to keep it in place and shut the valves. He then wrestles it back into the carry bag it came in. It’s quite the show, you can’t help but laugh at his struggle, feeling a bit guilty despite him refusing your help multiple times, causing you to roll your eyes at the strong hunter trying to show off. Once it’s finally secured in the bag he takes it and your bags down to the car. 
You say your goodbyes to Garth, Bess and Gertie, thanking them for all their hospitality and guidance and promising to come back and visit soon so the girls can have another play date. You hug each of them and then pile into the car. Destiny snuggles up on the backseat for the long drive while you and Dean sit in the front listening to his classic rock. So many words have been shared between each of you over the past few days that it’s nice to just enjoy the quiet. 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
It’s dark by the time you finally pull into the Bunker’s garage. Sam comes out to greet you all. You help Destiny out of the back and go to introduce her to him but she hides behind your legs from the giant man. 
You pick her up, place her on your hip and smile at her. “It’s alright. I know he’s big but he’s not scary. This is Dean’s brother, Sam.”
She glances at him shyly and then hides her face in your shoulder. 
“It’s alright. Take your time,” he says softly while backing away.
You mouth “thank you,” at him and he nods.
He helps Dean unload the bags from the car while you take her around for a small tour, sticking to just the essential rooms: kitchen, bathroom, Dean Cave, and bedrooms. She seems very overwhelmed, understandably, so you take a seat on your bed with her in your lap.
“You can stay in here with us tonight. We’ll look at setting up your room next door tomorrow. How does that sound?”
She nods. “But I wanna stay with you.”
“You can stay with us until you feel safer. But we’ll always be right here. Just a wall away.”
“Thank you,” she says.
“Come on, you must be hungry. Let’s go see if Sam picked up any food.” You take her hand and lead her back to the kitchen. You help her up onto one of the tall stools while you go to check the fridge. Sure enough, Sam got everything you asked. You pull out a packet of cow hearts and serve one onto a plate and place it in front of Destiny. She goes to pick it up but it’s very cold. You notice her hesitation as you seal and place the packet back in the fridge. “Too cold?” you ask.
She nods, “a little. I’ll just wait.”
“Alright. Just let me whip up a sandwich and then I’ll join you.”
“Okay,” she says as she watches you move around the kitchen.
You make two PB&Js knowing that if you have one Dean will eventually find his way in here and want one too, and if not then you can just take it to him once you’re done. You join Destiny at the small metal table. She tests her meal again, the chill is ever so slightly less so she takes a small bite. The oosing of the blood from the vessel as she bites into it is something that will take a lot of getting used to. Even after days with Garth and Bess, it still puts you off. But you mask your reaction by biting into your bread. Minutes later, as expected, Dean strolls in and joins you. You slide the second sandwich across to him. He smiles before taking a massive bite. You smile back as you watch him and then Destiny. You think about how you could get used to this little family. It’s far from the nuclear family, but it’s yours, nothing’s been normal in your life so far, why would you start now.
After swallowing his mouthful of bread Dean says, “How’s your organ, kid?”
Slowly learning table manners from the frequent sit down meals we’ve shared recently, she swallows and then replies, “Good. I wanna thank Sam,” she looks down before shyly adding, “but I’m scared.”
You open your mouth to speak but Dean beats you. “Want me to come with you? He might look like a big scary moose, but really he’s just a big sap.”
“Can you?” she asks.
“Sure! Finish eating and then we can go.”
You all finish eating in relative silence and then you start to collect the plates. You hand Destiny and Dean a napkin each as they’re just as messy as each other, the only difference is that the red smeared across Dean’s face is a little sweeter and yet Destiny wears hers better. It’s much more acceptable for a child to make such a mess than it is for a man in his mid-thirties. You shake your head at them both as they clean up. After placing the dirty plates in the sink you come back and help make sure they’re both food-stain-free. Once you give them both a thumbs up Dean helps Destiny off the chair and leads her down the hall in search of Sam. You hang back to tidy up the ingredients and clean the plates.
Once the kitchen is clean you head back to your room to unpack your and Dean’s bags. His being overful from when he tried to leave. The room seems so bare without his usual decorations, although you hesitate at the though of putting all of them back. You put the framed photo of the two of you back on his bedside table and put his clothes back in their respective homes, but your opt to leave the weapons in the bag. You figure he can display them in the shooting range instead to keep your room more child-friendly. You then turn to your own bag with your new purchases, most of which still haven’t been washed. So, you take the remaining dirty clothes to the laundry. The whole process feels so domestic. Your child-self would never believe that you feel comfortable taking on this role, but now you would happily take on the role of a stay-at-home mother to keep things flowing smoothly and do right by that little girl and your husband. 
You dump the clothes in the machine along with a detergent pod and then turn it on. You set a timer on your phone to remind you to come and switch them to the dryer and then go out in search of your family, Sam included, his is officially your brother-in-law now afterall. 
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
Tag list: (Leave a like or comment on this post or let me know below if you want to be added to the tag list for this series)
@bitchwitch1981, @muhahaha303, @justrealizedimmascifygurl, @mcdowell-123, @leigh70, @marvelsmarauder, @losa12308, @tapedeck-hearts, @luvjaida, @peachtxa, @ambearsstuff, @shadow-of-a-cloud, @slut-for-buck, @iprobablyshipit91, @sassy-pelican, @fallenlilangel99, @heavenlyhopeful0, @nelachu2423, @ladysparkles78, @canyouimaginethatstory, @mrlonelycat
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yup-thats-me · 2 years ago
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— feelings • Lee Know x solo!idol!reader
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paring : Lee Know x idol!reader
summary : just some idiots in love
warning : hurt comfort, crying Minho:( , a bit of angst and a bit irrational Y/n ^^
♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎
"Just go away Y/N!" Lee Know shouted, causing tears to swell up in Y/n's eyes. Lino never shouted at her, no matter how angry he was.
"Okay." Y/n said or rather whispered, slamming the door behind her. A deep sigh left Lee Know's lips, his hands pulling at the roots of his hair in frustration.
Y/n and Lee Know were know to be the iconic best friend duo in the k-pop industry. Everybody knew of their friendship. They knew each other since kindergarten, they went to JYP together. While Minho was placed in a band, Y/n debuted as solo artist.
For the past few months, Minho had ignored Y/n's calls and texts. It bothered Y/n. He's been out of touch for so long. Minho never acted this way before. That's what led Y/n come to Skz's dorm today to see her best friend AND crush.
Crush. That's true. Y/n had developed another kind of liking towards Minho other than that of a best friend. She had started to love Minho. But looking at the treatment she got from Lee Know today, she began to believe another girl has already taken the place in Minho's heart. Recently there was a rumor going on that Lee Know of Skz had been spotted with a very pretty girl in a local café. Y/n have seen the pictures and they seem to look like they were pretty close. And that was why he'd been acting distant, according to her.
The boys looked at Y/n with concerned eyes. That all heard their fight that happened in the room next to their's. They didn't eavesdrop. They could just hear them screaming and it worried the boys.
"Y/n don't worry, Lee's just stressed," Chan tried to assure but her but Y/n shook her head. "No Chan. I think I've lost him to someone else already...I'll see y'all later," Y/n smiled sadly, waving them goodbye.
"What have I done?" Minho screamed from the other room. Upon opening the door, they saw Minho sitting on the floor, his eyes red and puffy from the crying.
Chan sat beside him trying to calm him down. "Hyung, just tell her how you feel," Felix suggested feeling bad to see his hyung suffer.
"How can I? She'll probably push me away if I do."
The boys looked down. The truth was, Minho loved Y/n. But he was just too afraid that if he does tell her, she'll shut him out and probably never talk to him again. How can she not? They've been best friend since they learned how to talk. And is he  confesses his feelings, it will ruin their friendship and he can't afford to do that. He can't afford to loose her.
"You have to sooner or latter. She's beginning to think you love someone else. Fix it before it's too late, Lee," their leader tried to make him face the reality.
•••
It's been two weeks since Minho last saw Y/n. She was neither picking up his calls or answering texts. He was worried about her but too guilty to go to her house to see her.
Today's the day Y/n's new album is set release. Y/n and Minho had a ritual. Whenever either of their new album gets released, they give each other the first copy.
Y/n should come any moment now, Minho thought, checking the time.
Within a minute, the doorbell rang. Chan opened the door, stepping aside to let Y/n come in. Y/n hugged the boys as they congratulated on her new album.
"Hem," Chan cleared his throat, making everyone look at him.
"Me and the boys know you and Minho have to discuss something. So we'll go out to give you guys some privacy." Y/n looked away.
As the boys left, Hyunjin and Felix gave Lee tiny thumbs up to cheer him up a bit. Minho smiled softly.
They both stood in silence. No one uttering a single word. "You have anything to say?" Y/n asked still not facing Minho properly.
"Uhh...," Minho stuttered.
"Just so you know, this is the last time that you'll see me. I came to do our ritual because I had dedicated a bunch of songs to us, in this album before I lost you to someone." Y/n's voice cold.
"That's the thing. You didn't loose me."
Minho's statement making Y/n chuckle dryly. "Oh yeah? But I think I have."
"Y/n have to understand. There was a reason why I had ignored you," Minho tried to ration with her but Y/n was too hurt to listen to his justification.
"Reason? What reason? That you have to spend time with your girlfriend whoever that might be? See, I don't care if you have a girlfriend or not. If you have great then! I'm happy for you. But you should've told me that. It's such a shame that I had to find it out through some stupid tabloid."
"Y/n I do not have a girlfriend. She was just a high-school friend I had. She means nothing to me."
"And I? Do I mean anything to you or not? You know what I'll just say it although it won't make much of a difference. Lee Min-ho, I love you. But guess you're too busy to figure it out."
Y/n's confession made Minho's eyes wife with disbelief. "You...love...m-me?"
"Yes I do you dumb idiot. Why do you think I get all flustered and shy around you? I've been meaning to talk you but...I was scared."
Lee Know came towards Y/n, holding her hands. "I love you too." Y/n sighed, brushing off Minho's hold. "You don't have to say it back if you don't," Y/n voice cracked.
"No, I really do. At first I wasn't sure what these emotions and feelings were. I get butterflies whenever you talk, whenever your fingers graze my hair. Whenever you do anything or when you're near me. I didn't realize it was love. Even I finally admitted to myself, I got scared. I was scared to loose you. That's why I ignored you. I thought that if ignored you and be away from you, then the feelings will go away. But those feelings just grew more and more. I love you, I really do."
Their foreheads touched, both of their tears falling. "I love you, I love you, I love you," Lee Know repeatedly over and over again. Y/n smiled, pulling him by the back of his neck. As their lips touched, Y/n felt fireworks erupting inside her. She's been waiting waiting for this moment for too long, and now that it was finally happening, she didn't want it to end.
The kiss started off slow, but as their lips moved together in sync, it grew more and more heated itwould have led something to happen if it wasn't for Seugmin who had opened the door, regretting as soon as he did so.
"Ew ew ew. Get a room you guys," He gagged, the others laughing alongside him.
Y/n's face was as red as a beet root, giggling softly, while Lee was throwing daggers at the boys but still holding Y/n by the waist, never wanting to let go. Ever.
♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎♡♥︎
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sequinsmile-x · 1 year ago
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Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Thirty Nine
Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.
-x-
Hi friends!!
As always, thank you so so much for your love and feedback on this fic - it means the absolute world to me.
I really hope you enjoy this chapter <3
Please let me know what you think! -x-
Words: 3.2k
A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List and will be updated as we go along.
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Emily groans as she shifts on the couch, her hand on her belly as she desperately tries to get comfortable, something she hasn’t truly felt in weeks.
“You ok, Emmy?” 
She looks down to see Jack looking up at her, his head no longer resting on her as it had been and his attention no longer on the movie they’d been watching. She smiles at him and runs her fingers through his hair, pushing it out of his face. 
“I’m ok, sweetie,” she assures him, leaning down to kiss his forehead, “Just trying to get comfy, that’s all.” 
He smiles and nods at her before he nestles back into her side, his arm slung over her bump as he settles in. It makes her smile as she feels the baby move and Jack giggles, his hand pressing into the place she could clearly feel a sharp kick. She turns her attention back to the TV, a movie they had all seen countless times on the screen. Despite it being a weekend Aaron had been called to work by Strauss, the woman seemingly intent on making him work even harder since he’d made the choice not to go away on cases until Emily gave birth. It meant that since he left just after breakfast it had just been her and Jack all day/
She feels guilty that this is what they are doing, watching their second movie already, on a beautiful summers day instead of going to the park, that the little boy is indoors when he’d probably rather be outside, but she doesn’t have it in her to be outside in the heat for any longer than strictly necessary. She was warm even in the house with the air conditioning cranked up enough that Jack had asked her for one of his sweaters. 
“I’m sorry we couldn’t go to the park, baby,” she says, pulling him even closer, “I know this isn’t very interesting.” 
“I like being with you,” he says, shrugging as if it wasn’t one of the sweetest things someone had ever said to her, his attention barely leaving the TV, “I don’t mind what we do.” 
“I like being with you too.” 
He pulls back to look up at her, “But when Nugget is born we can go to be park right?” 
She chuckles and nods at him, “Of course, we’ll go and Nugget and I will sit and watch you and Daddy play.” 
The thought of it makes warmth spread through her chest. It was strange to think she was, at most, only two weeks away from having the baby now. She wanted so desperately to be on the other side of it now, not just because she was uncomfortable and hadn’t slept properly in weeks, but because she wanted to hold her baby, to see them for the first time. 
There’s a knock on the door and Emily grabs the TV remote, pausing the movie they were watching, “That will be your Mommy.”
Jack jumps up, heading deeper into the house, “Got to go to the bathroom.” 
She chuckles and shakes her head, knowing that was also code for finding Sergio and saying goodbye to him before he went to the bathroom. She pushes herself up off of the couch, something that takes far longer than it used to, and she takes a moment to catch her breath before she heads to the door. She pulls it open and smiles at Haley, stepping back to let her pass into the house.
“Hi Haley, Jack is in the bathroom,” she says breathlessly, her hand on her lower back, “Sorry it took so long for me to get the door, Aaron isn’t here right now so I had to get up myself,” she says, not quite sure she could believe the fact she, someone who once claimed she was fine after being thrown around by a religious zealot, was admitting to the fact she needs help for the most simple of things, “It’s like a military operation to get me off of the couch now.” 
Haley chuckles politely as she walks past her, “I remember those days,” she says, following Emily into the living room, sitting next to her as she starts to lower herself back down to the couch, “You’re close now, right?” 
“38 weeks and two days,” Emily says, grunting as she sits back down, the breath forced out of her as she tries to settle, “I feel like I’m counting down the seconds.” 
“So it could really be any day now,” Haley says, her eyes fixed on Emily’s bump as she thinks of the future. Of the life ahead that Emily and Aaron were about to start, one where she sat on the sidelines as an observer, a side character who would jump in when necessary to Jack’s life. She hears Emily clear her throat, and she looks up, blushing when she realises she’s been caught out staring, “Well, I hope you won’t take this the wrong way given the fact I used to be married to your husband, but I kind of hate you for how good you look.” 
Emily laughs, shaking her head as she remembers that JJ had said the same thing at the baby shower just a couple of weeks ago. 
“Well thanks for that,” she replies, smiling at her, “I’ll try and think of that next time I feel like the biggest mammal to ever roam the earth.” 
Haley joins in on her laughter before she sobers up, looking Emily up and down before she speaks again, “While I’m here I wanted to talk to you about something,” she says, pausing as Emily nods in response, smiling at her expectantly, “Jack wants to meet the baby as soon as he can, and I spoke to Aaron about it. He said you’re happy for me to bring him to the hospital, but I just want to make sure you’re okay with me being there.”
Emily smiles tightly, sighing as she nods. It was something she and Aaron had discussed at length. She’d decided a while ago she didn’t want any visitors, other than Jack, in the hospital. She wanted the chance to sink into those first hours of motherhood without interruption, just her, Aaron and the baby in a little bubble until they went home, where she hoped she’d also be able to steal some more time just for them before the real world snuck in. Her first ever taste of what a family should feel like was something she didn’t want, or need, spectators for and she didn’t feel guilty about that. It was a conversation that hadn’t gone down well with their friends, Penelope especially whose excitement at the baby being born almost rivaled Emily’s some days, but it hadn’t deterred her. 
Jack was her only exception to the rule. She wanted him to be a part of it, her love for him the exact same as the love for the baby she was carrying. That came with practicalities and meant that Haley would have to bring him to the hospital. If Emily was entirely honest, the last person she truly wanted there just after she’d given birth was her husband’s ex-wife, but it was the reality of their lives. Her, Aaron and Haley intertwined forever by an adorable little boy who only understood that they all loved him, too young to see any of the complications behind the vale they had wrapped around him in order to protect him. 
It wasn’t ideal, but it was her life, her impossibly ordinary life, and for that reason alone Emily wouldn’t change anything. 
“It’s fine Haley, I promise,” she replies, smiling at the other woman, “I know Jack is excited.” 
Haley chuckles and nods, biting the inside of her cheek as she stares at Emily as if she’s trying to see if she’s lying, “Are you sure it isn’t weird?” 
Emily lets out a laugh, “Oh it’s definitely weird,” she says, smiling when Haley joins in on her laughter, “But Aaron and I talked about it. I want Jack to meet his brother or sister as soon as possible. Aaron said he’d happily go pick him up but I don’t know if I’d want him to leave. So…” she shrugs and drifts off, unsure how to phrase it without hurting Haley’s feelings. 
“It’s the only choice we have,” Haley says, finishing her sentence for her, and Emily nods. 
“Yeah, it’s the only choice we have.”
“Well, I’ll wait out in the hallway,” Haley says, smiling at her. Their conversation is cut off as the bathroom door bursts open, indicating Jack was on his way, “I know the last person I would have wanted to see me after I had Jack was an ex of Aarons,” she says, her smile turning into a smirk, “Or my mother.” 
Emily laughs heartily, the movement stealing her breath as the baby shifts closer into her lungs, “Well, I understand that better than most.” 
Haley stands up and Emily tries to join her to show her out, but Haley simply holds out her hand, “Please don’t get up, it’s ok I can show myself out,” she says, smiling as Emily sighs in relief, “And if you want me to bring anything in just let me know. I’m not above sneaking sushi or a bottle of wine into a hospital.” 
She smiles, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 
“Ok, I’m ready to go now!” He says, running around the couch and hugging Haley tightly, “Hi Mommy!” 
“Hi sweetheart,” she replies, kissing the side of his head, “We should get going, Grandpa and Aunt Jessie are coming over for dinner,” she smiles when Jack exclaims in excitement, “Say goodbye to Emily.” 
Emily opens her arms just in time for Jack to throw himself at her, his arms tight around her neck as he hugs her, “Bye Emmy!” 
“Bye, sweet boy,” she says, kissing the side of his head, “We’ll see you next weekend.”
He nods enthusiastically and pulls himself out of her embrace, leaning down to press a kiss to her bump, “Bye Nugget.”
Emily and Haley exchange a small smile over his head, a moment of understanding between two mothers who love their children above anything else. 
Haley insists that Emily stays seated so she waves as they leave, sighing as the house falls into silence when the door closes. The baby moves, the pressure immediately pushing into her bladder, and Emily groans, her head resting on the back of the couch as she mentally prepares to push herself back up. 
“Not long to go now,” she mutters outloud, not sure if she’s speaking to the baby or herself. 
___
Emily was bored out of her mind. 
She’d done all of her nesting, had spent hours sitting in the nursery folding and re-folding tiny clothes and doing more laundry than she thinks she’s ever done in her life. The urge had passed, and now she often found herself just waiting at home for Aaron to get back from work. 
It’s what had led her here, sitting in his office as she waits for him to finish a meeting. She’d been texting him all morning, making her boredom clear, and he’d suggested the two of them go for lunch together. She’d all but jumped at the chance and was in the car driving to Quantico before he could change his mind. 
When she arrived he was already in his meeting, but she’d walked into his office to find a candy bar and a can of Sprite, her newest craving, sitting on his desk with a post-it note resting against it.
So you and Nugget don’t starve whilst you wait. 
Aaron
She’s just finished her candy bar when the office door bursts open, Penelope walks in case files in hand. She yells out, something that makes Emily jump, clearly not expecting to see anyone. 
“Hello to you too, Pen,” Emily says with a smile, looking at her friend with amusement dancing in her eyes as Penelope drops the files onto Aaron’s desk, her hand on her chest over her heart.  
“You scared the life out of me Peaches, I thought you were on maternity leave.”
Emily smiles, rubbing her hand over her bump, “I am, but it’s boring,” she says, grimacing as she feels a tightening in her abdomen, “Aaron is taking me for lunch.” 
Penelope nods, and they fall into silence, the air around them thick with awkwardness and everything they hadn’t said in weeks. Emily still felt angry with Penelope sometimes for calling her father, something she couldn’t fully shake off. She felt oddly guilty about it, because Penelope was doing her best to balance making it up to Emily and also respecting her boundaries, but she couldn’t quite let go yet, still trying to get her head around the fact her father had shown up after being absent for so many years. She’s about to say something, anything, to break the tension but is cut off by a pain rolling through her belly, making it feel tight. She groans and presses her hand into her belly, blowing out a slow breath as she tries to get through it. 
“Oh my god, are you in labour?” Penelope asks, her eyes wide as she steps closer, ready to spring into action if needed. 
Emily shakes her head, “It’s just Braxton Hicks contractions,” she says, not sure if she’s reassuring herself or Penelope, “I’ve been having them for weeks,” she blows out a steady breath as the feeling fades, her body relaxing into the couch, “Usually after sex,” she says, smirking at the look on Penelope’s face, “It really freaked Aaron out the first time.”
She smiles as she thinks about it, picturing the way her husband’s eyes had gone so wide they’d almost bugged out of his head. She’d assured him she was fine, that if anything, it showed he’d done his job properly according to all the books she had read, her skin still flushed from her orgasm as her stomach went drum tight, but he didn’t believe her. It had taken her days to convince him it was okay, that she and the baby were fine. 
“I don’t know why I’m asking,” Penelope says, sitting next to Emily on the couch, grateful for the slight insight into her friend's life, “But how did you convince him everything was ok?”
Emily chuckles, “I had Reid explain that the release of oxytocin after an orgasm is what causes the contractions,” she smiles, amused by her own attempts to make both her husband and Spencer uncomfortable. She looks at Penelope who raises an eyebrow at her, and she shrugs, “Maternity leave is really boring, I’ve got to make my own entertainment somehow.” 
Penelope laughs and they talk for a while, chatting about everything from the baby to the night out Penelope had recently had with Derek, making Emily laugh with tales of their friend's attempts to flirt with a girl he’d apparently dated before. She’s laughing at the thought of Derek being turned down by a woman who he hadn’t recognised when she feels another pain travel through her abdomen, and it’s sharper than the one she’d just had, the one she’d been feeling for weeks, and she frowns, hissing as it doesn’t fade as quickly as the previous ones. 
“Fuck,” she says, her hand on her bump, “Fuck that hurts.” 
Penelope’s eyes go wide again, “Are they usually that close to each other?” 
Emily looks at her watch, “It was about 15 minutes I think,” she says, breathing as the pain passes. She rubs a circle on her stomach and tries to think back over the morning, how her back had ached more than usual, how there was a pattern to it she was only just seeing now, “Shit. I think I’m in labour.” 
“You think you’re in labour? How do you not know?” Penelope asks, her eyes fixed on Emily’s stomach as if the baby was about to burst out of it. 
“Funnily enough I’ve never done this before, Pen,” she grits out through her teeth, “I need Aaron.” 
“Okay,” Penelope says, going to stand up, “Okay, I’ll go get him.” 
Emily shakes her head and grabs Penelope’s arm, “No, don’t leave me here alone.” 
Penelope looks at her as if she’s lost her mind, trying to figure out how she’s supposed to go get Aaron and stay here at the same time, and then she nods, “Okay, cover your ears.” 
Emily nods, doing as she’s told, but she still flinches when Penelope calls out for Dave, hoping he’ll hear her through the wall. He’s at the door in a number of seconds, a confused look painted all over his face. 
“Bella, I didn’t realise you were here-”
“You need to go get Hotch,” Penelope says, looking at him as she nods towards Emily, “Peaches is in labour.” 
Dave’s eyes go wider than Penelope’s and it makes Emily shake her head, rolling her eyes at her friends.
“It’s not like the baby is going to fall out of me right here, right now, so will someone please go find my fucking husband,” she grumbles. Dave nods and disappears, and Emily groans as she sits back against the couch, “I thought I’d go overdue,” she says, “I’m 39 weeks.” 
“Everything will be fine,” Penelope assures her, “Nugget will be fine.” 
Emily nods, squeezing her friend's hand tightly in a silent thank you. They make small talk again until Emily feels the contraction start again, and she checks the time, seeing they are still 15 minutes apart. 
“Fuck here comes another one,” she says, and she squeezes Penelope’s hand even tighter as the pain swells, not missing how her friend yelps, “Sorry.” 
“It’s okay,” Penelope forces out, her voice tight, “It’s just the hand I used to code and type and generally do my job.”
Emily chokes out a laugh, “Well, consider it payback for bringing my estranged father back into my life.”
Penelope laughs, surprised by the comment and she shakes her head, “Really, this is when you want to bring it up?” 
Emily smiles as she turns to look at her, the contraction fading, “What? You can think of a better time?” She smiles lovingly at her friend and gently squeezes her hand, their eyes meeting as the final bit of awkwardness lifts from both of their shoulders. 
Aaron bursts into the room and both of them turn to look at him. He looks calmer than Dave and Penelope, but she can see the sparkle of nervous excitement in his eyes, something she knows only she can see. 
“Baby time?” He asks, walking over and crouching in front of her, his forehead against hers in a rare show of affection in front of their friends. Emily nods, smiling at him widely. 
“Yeah,” she replies, pressing her forehead into his, taking a moment of peace in what she knew would be a long day, “It’s baby time.” 
-x-
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teadreamsims · 6 months ago
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Kind of a sad post so gonna put the content under a read more. TW for discussion of pet loss and grief.
Today it's a year since my special boy Nelly passed away. I didn't get to say goodbye bc I was at uni at the time finishing up the last of my third year assignments. It's been pretty much a year since I properly looked at pictures of him and I didn't realise how much I truly miss him until I looked at the photos of him on my old phone. I feel guilty missing him so much bc we've got our girl Ruby now and she's the sweetest, silliest dog. I love her to pieces, but I guess there's still that little hole in my heart where Nelly used to be.
I guess I just wanna day it's okay to be sad and to grieve and to not be okay all the time. In the span of 12 months, I've never properly processed the fact he's gone forever and it's okay to process things at a different pace to everyone else. If it takes you a long time to process and grieve, that's okay. Your grief and your feelings are valid no matter how long it's been 💜
Gonna end this post with a couple of photos of my boy, because he's beautiful and deserves to be seen even if I can't see him anymore.
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hunsa-jars · 1 year ago
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Howdy
Good morning, or evening, or middle of the night to whoever happens to be reading this, hi
I'm just here to rant I guess, as there's nothing else to do, waiting for a train right now
I always feel guilty when I suddenly disappear out of blue and leave my friends in the dark so this is kind of an explanation
But saying that just... I'm sorry
This is mostly for myself
For grounding purposes
Last week was pretty rough and I'm still processing it, because even as I'm writing this, it still feels unreal
Well it was a lot worse last week but sure you get what I mean
My grandpa passed away last Wednesday morning
I was on a bus, on my way to the town's kindergarten to have my first practice classes when my mom called, and uh... you can probably imagine that for the next few days everything got stuck in this void limbo of "He can't be gone" and "Is this actually happening" and "What happens now"
I didn't want to bawl my eyes out in front of strangers but I couldn't think about going back either after the arrangements me, my group mates and the kindergarten teacher had to make, so I kind of forced myself into entering a tunnel vision mindset and just..... tried not to think about it at all. At least not while I was with the children
Honestly I'm a bit proud of myself for that, that I held out for so long, didn't have a meltdown in there during those 3 days
Well today I did crack up but it couldn't be helped. I managed to take care of everyone on my own for a whole hour, they liked my games, the teachers told me I did great, and I guess the relief mixed with them telling me again that they're sorry about what happened pretty much kicked me out of the Calm Zone
(They were very understanding and left me alone till I felt better, so it's okay, I'm okay now)
So that's all over.
But god, it was hard, back home. Him and my grandma were our next door neighbours for as long as I could remember. We ran into each other almost every day. And yet I feel like I didn't know him that well. I didn't know him enough, as he was also a person of few words, but I miss him, I'm gonna miss him so much. I wish I could just go back and ask him about his past, what he was up to as kid, what kind of dates he took grandma on or anything, instead of just walking by him in silence. I wish I could have been there before the ambulance took him away. I wish I could have told him I loved him before he was gone. He'd been feeling off for the past few months but it all got worse so suddenly.
My sister keeps my grandma company, because there's no way we gonna let her be all alone. The house is so quiet now
The funeral is held tomorrow, I don't know how she, my mom or my aunt will handle it
Hell, I have no idea how I will handle it
Things will get better, I hope, after we said our goodbyes properly
Not easier, but maybe a bit better
If you're still here, thanks for listening, I don't know where I was going with this but I feel a smidge calmer now
See you soon
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truly-morgan · 1 year ago
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[Reigen has a terminal illness and hides it]
Reigen Arataka | Mob Psycho 100 06-04-2023
Having some Reigen angst morning thoughts:
Him being diagnosed with an illness that will be the death of him and he has at best only a handful of years left.
Yet he doesn't tell anyone, doesn't want to worry and burden anyone.
Like, maybe he had been struggling a bit nore already in the past months, but always brushed it off because it came and went. Although he's half forced to go by his employees when they botice he doesn't seem too good.
Then he get the result about his terminal illness.
And of course, he doesnt tell anyone.
Not his family, not that he'd know how to tell them to be quite honest. It seems like a lot of trouble to deal with.
He doesn't tell Serizawa, he doesn't need to worry about his boss when he's already focused on his night class.
Plus he doesnt quite trust the man wouldn't accidentally spill the bean.
He doesn't tell Tome, she's already occupied enough with her first semester and year of college, she doesnt need to worry about him.
He doesn't tell Ekubo, because he feels like the spirit would likely tell Mob.
And of course, he doesnt tell Mob. His little student is in his last yeard of high school, he should focuse on having fun, his finals and college application.
Something in Reigen hopes Mob will go to a college away from Seasojing City (contrary to Tome) so he can more easily hide it from him. He knows Mob would worry about him and would likely try helping him more, and he refuse to take away parts of Mob precious teenage Years because he's sick.
So instead he hides it from everyone. He doesn't need the people he cherish to worry over him, to feel sad or awkward around him because of it.
He wants to only leave good memories behind.
And at first it easy enough to hide.
If he's getting tired more easily, he just brushes it off as him getting old (even though he barely entered his 30's). And sometimes simply says he just stayed up too late the previous night.
But then sickness days comes more regularly and that is a bit hard to hide properly, making him look awfull. And there's only so many excuse he can give for that.
He still tries to reassure everyone, but even Reigen doesn't find his bullshiting convincing.
And he goes months not telling anyone, the uncertainty and awkwardness still settling in the office despite his attempt being the opposite of that.
and with time he also grows weaker, and thinner from his lack of appetite and his medication not helping that.
And everyone tries acting as if they were seeing nothing.
Until Mob simply snaps.
He snaps because Reigen lost consciousness as they were fighting against a spirit and nearly got himself gravely injured.
Snap because he now has months of frustration and worries piling up and he NEEDS to know what the fuck is happening with shisho.
and maybe he grows really quiet when Reigen finally admits it.
and then Mob looks mad. mad and sad "Did shisho ever plan to tell me? Did you think I would rather one day stop having you reply to me while I am away only to learn from someone else you died?
"Did you think I would be happier not knowing you are in pain, that I would be happier to not make proper goodbye if I can?"
emotional talk and angst, everyone around Reigen end up finding out too and they all do try to help him out as best they can, but also try to not overwhelm him with all this attention.
Maybe Mob decides to take a little break before going to college, so he can stay with Reigen and help him. Maybe Reigen feels guilty about it, because he didn't want this to happen.
But really, there's nothing that would change Mob's mind once he decided on something.
Also maybe havinghis precious Mob by his side in his last moment wouldn't be so bad...
(I just realised this was angst with a bit of comfort at the end lol, always need a little bit of comfort at least)
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