#i feel so far away from my body

[very-uncorrect]

Either I have brain damage or am INCREDIBLY high right noe

[eightspringdays]

one of my favorite hc about near is that he just drops fun facts literally out of nowhere and keeps doing whatever he was doing after

near, building a card tower

mello, meters away doing reports

near, unprompted: did you know bees communicate by dancing

mello: what?

near, keeps building the tower in complete silence

mello: what?!

and after a while mello just knows

near, assembling a hot wheels highway: it's almost impossible for opossums to get rabies

mello: good for them

but sometimes is just

near, under a ten storey lego building: praying mantis can change colors to adapt to their environment

mello: wait. like chameleons?

near, already on the eleventh floor, completely silent

mello, side-eyeing rester who just sighs and googles it

[skunkes]

thje really good thing about this year is ive gotten poked with a needle for drawing blood or other reasons like 20 times so that part of Fearing Going On T has been lessened a bit

[abluescarfonwaston]

I am a simple (trans)man. I see the reboot of Ranma 1/2 and ask- but what if he HAD to stay a girl to stay safe. Because some big bad was actively on the hunt to kill Boy!Ranma or something.

What if Ranma hadn't been caught in the bath by Akane and had gone to school with her, (refusing to wear the school uniform like normal). Watching Akane defeat the army of boy's at the gate only to swoop in and kick Kuno's ass resulting in him falling for 'the pigtailed girl' right away.

What if he'd gotten there and been so excited to have all these guy friends again (its so hard on the road) only to realize they're just trying to date him, not talk to him guy to guy like he'd hoped. (He feels no remorse ordering that fifth Ultra Brownie delight special with their wallet)

Complaining to Akane in the dojo after school as Ranma's personality just starts to peak through and Akane agreeing 'That's why men are Awful'. Ranma withdrawing that little bit back in as he realizes that - no. Akane doesn't get what he's saying- and she would hate him if she really knew him.

Ranma bellowing out for them all to back off because Akane is MY FIANCE. The awe and silence and then 'but that's not even legal' murmurs. HUH?! SAYS WHO??? 'the government...' 'Oh... Huh.'

The divide between how big and powerful Ranma acts verses the moments when he notices how short his arms are. How small he is. Shrinks into an ill fitting body in a way Akane wishes she could stop from her friend.

The horror and Relief that comes with Ryoga's appearance. An old rival who Knows. Knows and is angry and furious but treats him just like he expects to be treated. And maybe his legs Are too short and he still misjudges the distance but there is something so freeing to knowing he is being seen as he really is.

Ranma slipping out of the house early, before sunrise, so he can escape. Pour hot water over his head and just be Himself for a few minutes that day. Even if it's risky. Even if it gets him killed. Because he was willing to die to become strong, but he didn't think that meant losing his manhood first.

Akane spotting a boy training in the park, pausing because for a moment she thought- but it was a trick of the light. They just share a braid, that isn't Ranma. Her friend and 'fiance' Ranma.

Being drawn in my something. By that pigtailed braid or the force of their blows and the smoothness of his movements.

Or maybe by how he keeps kicking the target with his calf instead of his foot. That's a big one.

And she hates men. Absolutely despises the whole lot. But she offers him a correction and he looks at her in such shock.

"Y-yeah. I know. I guess I'm just not used to being tall."

Her offering a suggestion. Him doing it right this time as she nods. Offering to spar.

Didn't you say you'd hate to lose to a man? "Nah I already have a fiance." "What does that have to do with anything?" "Isn't there a thing at your school that if someone beats you they get to take you on a date?" "Oh my god other schools know about that?" "Furinkan is pretty loud." "Yeah it is..."

"Do you like her?" "Who?" "Your fiance." "Oh... I guess. She's kinda cute. But she hates me." "What'd you do?" "Why do you assume I did anything huh?" "Cause youre a boy." "... What about yours then?"

"Mine?"

"You have a fiance don't you?"

"I guess. But she's a girl."

"How'd that happen?"

"My dad's an idiot."

"Yeah. Mine too."

[stressedanime]

just received +25 psychic damage by relating song lyrics to the treatment of demigods in pjo

[whereishoney]

he's the earth btw

[daz4i]

grumbling grumpily bc i unfortunately have to admit that i am indeed getting better >:( like i actually feel excitement again for example. smh. i look forward to going out and being with people??? i am way more agreeable to trying new things and i let myself approach them with an open mind so i often end up enjoying them??? this isn't me this isn't my heart .

[rainingincale]

.

[acourtofquestions]

Rowaelin Chapter 41 Kingdom of Ash:

She'd rebuild it—what she had been.

Perhaps one last time, perhaps only for a little while, but she'd do it. If only for Terrasen.

Rowan swooped from the mast, shifting as he reached her side at the rail. He surveyed the night-black sea beyond them. "You should rest." She slid him a glance. "I'm not tired." Not a lie, not in some regards. "Want to spar?" He frowned. "Training can start tomorrow."

"Or tonight." She held his piercing stare, matched his dominance with her own.

"It can wait a few hours, Aelin."

"Every day counts." Against Erawan, even a day of training would count.

Rowan's jaw tightened. "True," he said at last. "But it can still wait. There are ... there are things we need to discuss." The silent words rose in his animal-bright eyes. About you and me.

Her mouth went dry. But Aelin nodded In silence, they strode into their spacious quarters, its only decoration the wall of windows that overlooked the churning sea behind them. A far cry from a queen's chamber, or any she might have purchased as Adarlan's assassin.

At least the bed built into the wall looked clean enough, the sheets crisp and stainless. But Aelin headed for the oak desk anchored to the floor, and leaned against it while Rowan shut the door.

In the dim lantern light, they stared at each other.

She'd endured Maeve and Cairn; she'd endured Endovier and countless other horrors and losses. She could have this conversation with him. The first step toward rebuilding herself.

Aelin knew Rowan could hear her thundering heart as the space between them went taut. She swallowed once. "Elide and Lorcan told you... told you everything that was said on that beach."

A curt nod, wariness flooding his eyes. "Everything that Maeve said." Another nod.

She braced herself. "That I'm-we're mates."

Understanding and something like relief replaced that wariness. "Yes."

"I'm your mate," she said, needing to voice it. "And you are mine."

Rowan crossed the room, but halted a few feet from the desk on which she leaned. "What of it, Aelin?" His question was low, rough.

"Don't you..." She scrubbed at her face. "You know what she did to you, to ..." She couldn't say her name. Lyria. "Because of it."

"I do know."

"And?"

"And what do you wish me to say?"

She pushed off the desk. "I wish you to tell me how you feel about it. If…"

"If what?"

"If you wish it wasn't so."

His brows narrowed. "Why would I ever wish that?"

She shook her head, unable to answer, and stared over her shoulder toward the sea.

It seemed like he would close the distance between them, but he remained where he was.

"Aelin." His voice turned hoarse. "Aelin."

She looked at him then, at the pain in his words.

"Do you know what I wish?" He exposed his palms, one tattooed, the other unmarked. "I wish that you had told me. When you realized it. I wish you had told me then."

She swallowed against the ache in her throat. "I didn't want to hurt you."

"Why would it ever hurt me to know the truth that was already in my heart? The truth I hoped for?"

"I didn't understand it. I didn't understand how it was possible. I thought maybe ... maybe you might be able to have two mates within a lifetime, but even then, I just ….." She blew out a breath. "I didn't want you to be distressed." His eyes softened. "Do I regret that Lyria was dragged into this, that the cost of Maeve's game was her life, and the life of the child we might have had? Yes. I regret that, and I wish it had never happened." He would bear the tattoo to remember it for the rest of his days. "But none of that was your fault. I will always carry some of the burden of it, always know I chose to leave her for war and glory, and that I played right into Maeve's hands."

"Maeve wanted to ensnare you to get to me, though."

"Then it is her choice, not yours."

Aelin ran a hand over the worn wood of the desk. "In those illusions she spun for me, she showed me variations on one more than all the others." The words were strained, but she forced them out. Forced herself to look at him. "She spun me one dreamscape that felt so real I could smell the wind off the Staghorns."

"What did she show you?" A breathless question.

Aelin had to swallow before she could answer. "She showed me what might have been—if there had been no Erawan, if Elena had dealt with him properly and banished him. If there had been no Lyria, none of that pain or despair you endured. She showed me Terrasen as it would have been today, with my father as king, and my childhood happy, and..." Her lips wobbled. "When I turned twenty, you came with a delegation of Fae to Terrasen, to make amends for the rift between my mother and Maeve. And you and I took one look at each other in my father's throne room, and we knew."

She didn't fight the stinging in her eyes. "I wanted to believe that was the true world. That this was the nightmare from which I'd awaken. I wanted to believe that there was a place where you and I had never known this suffering and loss, where we'd take one look at each other and know we were mates. Maeve told me she could make it so. If I gave her the keys, she'd make it all possible." She wiped at her cheek, at the tear that escaped down it. "She spun me realities where you were dead, where you'd been killed by Erawan and only in handing over the keys to her would I be able to avenge you. But those realities made me ... I stopped being useful to her when she told me you were gone. She couldn't get me to talk, to think. Yet in the ones where you and I met, where things were as they should have been ... that was when I came the closest."

His swallow was audible. "What stopped you?"

She wiped at her face again. "The male I fell in love with was you. It was you, who knew pain as I did, and who walked with me through it, back to the light. Maeve didn't understand that. That even if she could create that perfect world, it wouldn't be you with me. And I'd never trade that, trade this. Not for anything." He extended his hand. An offer and invitation.

Aelin laid hers atop his, and his callused fingers squeezed gently. "I wanted it to be you," he breathed, closing his eyes. "For months and months, even in Wendlyn, I wondered why you weren't my mate instead. It tore me up, wondering it, but I still did." He opened his eyes, and they burned like green fire. "All this time, I wanted it to be you."

She lowered her gaze, but he hooked a thumb and forefinger around her chin and lifted her face.

"I know you are tired, Fireheart. I know that the burden on your shoulders is more than anyone should endure." He took their joined hands and laid them on his heart. "But we'll face this together. Erawan, the Lock, all of it.

"We'll face it together. And when we are done, when you Settle, we will have a thousand years together. Longer."

A small sound came out of her. "Elena said the Lock requires—"

"We'll face it together," he swore again.

"And if the cost of it truly is you, then we'll pay it together. As one soul in two bodies.

Her heart strained to the point of cleaving. "Terrasen needs a king."

"I have no intention of ruling Terrasen without you. Aedion can have the job."

She scanned his face. He meant every word He brushed the hair from her face, his other hand still clasping hers to his chest, where his heart pounded a steady, unfaltering rhythm.

"Even if I had my choice of any dream-realities, any perfect illusions, I would still choose you, too."

She felt the truth of his words echo into the unbreakable thing that bound their very souls, and tilted her face up toward his. But he made no move beyond it.

She frowned. "Why aren't you kissing me?"

"I thought you might want to be asked first."

"That never stopped you before."

"This first time, I wanted to make sure you were ... ready." After Cairn and Maeve. After months of having no choices whatsoever.

She smiled despite that truth. "I'm ready to be kissed again, Prince."

He let out a dark chuckle and muttered, "Thank the gods," before he lowered his mouth to hers.

"You're my mate." Her words were a breathless rush. "And I am yours."

The world might have been burning around them for all she cared, all he cared, too.

"Together, Aelin," he promised, and she heard the rest of the words in every place their bodies joined. Together they would face this, together they would find a way.

Together we'll find a way, their mingling breaths, the crashing sea, seemed to echo.

Together.

[cinammonelles]

Complete the 4 novels you're currently reading ❌❌❌

Start yet another novel because it seemed intriguing ✅✅✅

[nexus-nebulae]

known we were a system for about 7 years now, probably been a system for far longer, and just realised. we got an intrusive self-fakeclaiming thought today and laughed it away

[clownpassing]

I feel so like. Isolated in my specific gender identity lately

[thetangibleghost]

I think we might have trauma tied to the literal feeling of falling asleep/waking up. Like we get nightmares that are just. The feeling of changing concousness but drawn out + adrenaline + terror

[sanjarka]

when i was younger this whole ''no romantic or sexual experience" thing made me feel deeply unlovable and it still does but in a different way. now i've somehow convinced myself that i'm not supposed to desire anyone like that. like it's not meant for me. it's me who can't love now. not other people.

[lieutenantselnia]

I currently have to write a thesis, work on the biggest project in my entire study programme and will have to start preparing for my bachelor's exam at some point, and my brain thinks now it's a good time to get back into Red Dead Redemption 2👍

[arolesbianism]

I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman