#i feel so bad for not knowing the difference between a main and a secondary blog

[anarglitch]

Scott pilgrim takes off inhabits the same artistic space as the matrix 4, or even the final fantasy 7 remake. I mean this as a good thing. It has the distinct touch of an artist that made something that defined a generation revisiting the art that outgrew them a thousandfold with more maturity and different interests.

These interests usually skew meta, they're about what drives someone to revisit something made by a past version of oneself, about the experience of suddenly gaining more influence than anyone could reconcile, where criticisms of your work (which you also, no doubt, have many) become synonymous with criticisms of your culture. If you've been here a while, you probably know (and are tired of) what I'm talking about, manic pixie dream girls and aloof average male protagonists, toxic nostalgia, pick your theme and it's a video essay title.

Imagine having every read of your 2004 funny video game-coded coming of age comic reverberate infinitely toward every direction, people saying your main character taught a whole generation of men to be self-absorbed while the exact opposite type of people rant about how your secondary lead "ruined a whole generation of women" because of hair-dye or whatever. Imagine Edgar Wright makes a movie adaptation of your cute little comic that somehow launches the careers of half of the current celebrity pantheon simultaneously. How would that change you?

Well, for one, it makes you less relatable. The truth of an aloof nerdy guy dating in his early 20s is a lot more universal than the truth of an artist in his 40s forever defined by the event horizon of a thing he wrote half his life ago. The matrix 4 couldn't stop talking about how it feels to have created the matrix. The final fantasy 7 remake can't help but to constantly examine what it means to remake final fantasy 7. It's easy to see why someone would hate that indulgent meta trend, I'll probably never write a generation-defining story, why would I care about the first world problems of someone who did? It can feel distant, and at its worst it can feel insulting. Like it's pointing the finger at the fans, whispering 'you did this to me'. I get that.

I get that, but I love it.

It's the fundamental difference between wanting something that is like something you liked, and wanting someone that is from the same creator of something you liked. The difference between feeding the mona lisa into an AI and finding a new authentic da Vinci. You can't make something entirely new if you religiously stick to using the parts of something that's already there. The human behind the work will always have influences you didn't realize, thought patterns and aesthetic preferences that weren't entirely clear in their previous work, no matter how much you deconstruct it. More importantly, the human will also change, and this organic self-continuity will reflect on the art. I don't want the creator of something to hold their own creation with the same zeal as its fans, because someone who did that simply wouldn't have been capable of creating the original piece in the first place.

I don't want a product, I want art.

Scott pilgrim, the original, indulges the most earnest impulse we have-- that of self-mythologizing, of creating a narrative off of our own lives. To depict the mundane as fantastic, interpersonal relationships as adventures. It resonated with so many people because it was earnest, and it was also picked apart to hell and back because it was earnest. Its flaws were on display, and not just the ones it intended to show. But in my opinion, the opposite impulse, that of washing off everything that could be criticized and presenting the cleanest possible image of yourself through your art, is just... bad. it makes for bad art, or it just freezes you. The very first hurdle of creating anything is getting over that, then maybe the spotlight will fall on you. If it does, you'll get everything you ever wanted, but everyone gets to see through you.

So, how do you revisit something like that? You have two options. Either you take all the pieces and try to reassemble them exactly how everyone remembers it, signing your name as a formality, looking at a mirror in which you no longer see yourself, or you talk to it. You dialogue with your own work, with who you used to be. You travel in time and talk to yourself. You question them, acknowledge them but also teach them a thing or two. You don't respect the product, you respect the feeling. You find the same earnestness that made you put pen to paper for the first time, and you point it towards your new loves and fears. Maybe you make it less about the main guy, take the chance to develop your secondary characters, maybe you give the girl more agency. Maybe you summon the future and refuse its answers. Maybe you fight yourself.

That's the harder choice. It submits your new self to the scrutinizing eyes of a whole new generation, it risks alienating the people who identified with your previous piece. It's riskier, probably less profitable, and by any pragmatic lens probably a bad idea. But it's the only way you can make art. It's truth, the truth that got you there in the first place.

It's how you get it together.

[khaleesiofalicante]

RWRB Movie Review

Since some of y'all asked for my thoughts, here you go:

What I Liked about This Movie:

The casting - They absolutely fucking nailed it. From the main cast to even smaller characters like Ellen and Zahra and Amy and everyone else. Even the King. They all understood the assignment.

The POC nuances - There is a big difference between being queer and being poc and queer. I think the movie captured it better than the book did. Obviously, a lot of that had to do with Matthew. The little conversations about being a person of colour in the US and Alex and Henry constantly bantering (and educating each other) about their cultures and differences between them added so much value to their dynamic.

Subtle Creativity - I really liked how they translated the texts from the books into the movie. The symbolism of the water during the Lake House scene and all the queer historical references spread out throughout the movie. Important. Well done.

The music - I always pay close attention to the soundtrack in a movie and I think they killed it. Starting off with Joan Jett's Bad Reputation was such a good idea. I know everyone is soft about 'Can't Help Falling in Love' playing during the V&A scene, but personally I loved that they included 'If I Loved You' - it's such a classic and it's such a Henry song.

Alex and Henry - I'm going o be brutally honest here. If they had cast anyone other than Taylor and Nick, this movie would've flopped hard. Nick and Taylor carried this movie on their backs and they did SUCH a great job with it. I need to write a whole other post about how much I liked their acting and what I enjoyed the most.

What Could've Been Done Better

The storytelling - I didn't mind the changes we already knew (as much as I thought I would) - such as cutting out June and Alex's parents not being divorced. But I did find the overall pace and storytelling to be a little bit off. Some scenes felt disconnected and others felt rushed. Like, Henry saying 'I need to show you something' and taking Alec to the V&A felt very random to me considering the pace of that scene. I'm very curious about how all of this looked like to someone who hasn't read the books.

The gaps - I'm personally glad June wasn't in this movie because I feel like it would've made no sense. Honestly, a lot of her storyline is connected to Alec's struggle with understanding his sexuality and trauma from the divorce and both those plotlines were not part of the movie, so yeah. No June made a lot of sense. But some other edits didn't make sense to me. For instance, I really wish they had placed more emphasis on the emails and showed the intimate nature of those (they did a good job with the texts, but not with the emails). I honestly didn't understand why Richards was there. Phillip felt like another dead end. Nora was barely there too.

Alex's Bisexuality - There is this line in the books where Alex (in his list to Henry) says 'all the things I now understand about myself because of you'. I always felt that was important. I'm not saying that line should've been in the movie, but it should be a theme. Because in his speech when Alex was talking about the queer rights movements and queer history, I was like 'where is this all coming from??'. It would've been nice to see Alec's interest in these things (whether because of Henry or not) displayed more in the movie.

The lack of friendships - This honestly was my main disappointment. Because the lack of emphasis on Pez was a little shocking. Considering the movie had Henry pov, I really thought we'd see more of him. The same went for Nora (and the lack of June) who were barely there. I loved that the movie focused more on Alex and Henry, but I will always stress the importance of friendships for queer people - because we often feel safer with our friends than with anyone else. So, I wish they had done a better job. I personally feel much better choices could've been made about the secondary characters, such as removing Pez entirely and fleshing out Bea and Henry's relationship instead of giving Pez half a minute of screen time.

The women - this is a bit of a personal qualm and I'm still navigating this writing issue myself, but often in stories with mlm relationships, women are seen as these tiny side characters who are simply there to drive the plot. Sometimes women are barely there at all (I've noticed this in some BL dramas). This is not a rwrb issue, but a broader issue. But the thing is, in the books, Casey did a fantastic job in weaving in women and how just having them around makes a lot of difference (Alex and June are the primary examples of this). It's very interesting to see how depending on the identity of the creator, which themes get prioritized and which themes don't. For instance, we noticed Alex's race (or him being biracial) was more prominent in the movie than in the books, but Alec's relationship with the women in his life was more prominent in the books than in the movie. It's just interesting, I think. Very interesting.

RWRB in (my) essence: I read some say that the above issues could've been simply fixed if the movie was a mini-series. I personally don't think it should've been a mini-series though. Rwrb was always meant to be a movie.

But I do think, a larger conversation needs to be had about queer book-to-screen adaptations - where the budgets are smaller and restrictions are higher and there is bullshit like giving an R rating for a movie with barely any nudity and sex.

It wasn't perfect. It's a rom-com. A rom-com, in its essence, is flawed and talks about finding love in 90 minutes. It's supposed to feel rushed - like a whirlwind. I think rwrb movie did what it was supposed to do. It gave us a good rom-com.

BUT. I think we need more than that. We need cheesy romcoms like this. We need poignant queer movies with bigger budgets that will win Oscars. We need mini-series that have more time to explore broader themes. And we need TV shows that run for 14 seasons and have no plot but we want still want to watch anyway because it's gay people doing gay stuff.

Queer people need all of these options. We deserve the same diversity in content as straight people have. We, as Alex said, have the right to choose.

So, here is to more queer content, each wonderful and each flawed in its own way.

RWRB movie was not what I expected. But I loved it anyway. I watched it twice already and I will watch it again. Because, to put it simply, it made me so happy to have a queer rom-com that I can watch.

But we should and can and must have more of this.

So, I really hope every month will be gay as August 2023 is/was :)

[romana-after-dark]

The Wrong Way: Chapter 8

Dark!Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Tommy Miller x reader (secondary)

Masterlist

Spotify playlist

Summery: You are sold to Joel to clear up some of your fathers' debts, and he takes you back to his house where him, Tommy, and high ranking members of his raiding trope stay. Joel is mean, cruel, and hash, but had small moments of softness that confuse you in your venerable state. Over time, you get to know him and Tommy, and see different sides of each, and both are hiding secrets. Was it possible to fall in love under these circumstances? Or was that just another way Joel was fucking with you?

Aka: my mom sold me to One Direction

WARNINGS FOR FULL FIC, NOT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER UNLESS SOMETHING NEW IS ADDED AFTER MASTER WARNING LIST: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!! Fic contains graphic depictions of sexual assault, rape, molestation, dubcon/non con. Blow Jobs, PIV sex, lose of virginity, sex trafficking, past incest, death/people dying everywhere, Stockholm syndrome, falling for your rapist, victim blaming, torcher, branding, physical abuse, rape (not Joel), somno, dub con on tommy? idk he's not really into it but feels like he has to, self-harm/depression/suicidal thoughts (not a lot) but fair warning, major age gaps, love triangle, pregnancy/birth, threats of abortion, major character death, mentions of potential csa/child abuse but does not even come close to happening, forced pregnancy, forced housewife shit, breeding, breeding kink?!?!

I wanna add we're really heavy on the birth/pregnancy, forced birth, choking, domestic violence, threats of hanging and murder. Can't say I didn't warning yuh (unless i missed a warning of course. then please let me know so i cant edit ASAP) Like this is a rough chapter, a lot of violence to a pregnant woman. but I wanna say right now...

The baby will not be harmed in anyway. Baby will be born healthy, and live and have a good life in both the main ending and alt ending.

5k words (sorry not sorry lol)

Also to clarify a few things I guess i didn't make clear enough in previous chapters!

Joel only 'guessed' that Tommy and LO slept together. He had suspicions but thought he could trust Tommy and his 'girlfriend'. When LO rushed to stop Joel from hurting Tommy, that was his 'evidence'. Joel was beating Tommy because he found out about Maria.

Joel only heard part of the conversation between Zach and Little One. Nick said way back in chapter 3 the wall are thinner than she thinks. He didn't know Lorenzo had any part of it, and because LO didn't rat him out, he never will.

Thats my bad for not being clear!

Can you catch the Superstore homage? (aka i rewatched two episodes just to take it line for line lol)

***************

Month 3

No one warned you about morning sickness. 

You knew fuck all about sex before you came to Joel’s, just a thing or two from your friend back at the ranch and how to get a man off with your mouth or hands, but pregnancy and birth was next to nothing. You didn’t even know how pregnancy happened really, other than a penis in a vagina until you asked Tommy early on if you were going to get pregnant. After a very uncomfortable talk for both of you, Tommy explained that Joel told him he pulls out, so you should be good… Lorenzo said you can still get pregnant that way, but thinking back to the night Joel almost killed Tommy and you… Joel finished inside… the timing added up. 

Pregnancy and birth were entirely unknown to you, and you wished someone would just give you a heads up. Joel had a daughter and no doubt had been through at least once pregnancy, and Lorenzo had mentioned 4 of his 6 older sisters got pregnant before leaving the house… something about no sex education, men too old for them, and their religion not believing in birth control or abortion… but you didn’t know what half those words meant, and after Lorenzo mercilessly made fun of you for days about not knowing Joel’s song for you was actually a very famous song, you didn’t dare ask him about the words, or anything with pregnancy. You didn’t want to ask Joel either, not wanting to give away how terrified you were, not wanting him to think you didn’t want to… But you did! You did want this baby, you reminded yourself again and again and again, because Joel was good to you, Joel took care of you, Joel would care for this baby too. You’d be bound to him, and he’d never get tired of you this way, and he wouldn’t hurt the mother of his child, right?

The birth was something you tried not to think about.

So here you were, puking your gut out before you even had breakfast and Joel held your hair back.

“Shhh, shhhhhhh” he coo’d and you heaved, yellow bile and acid coming up from inside you since the little food in your stomach from dinner had been thrown up 5 minuets ago.

With a final spit into the toilet, you sink back and Joel wipes your mouth for you. “I think that’s it.” You mutter, and Joel carries you into your shared bedroom, laying you down with the care of an infant before kissing your forehead. 

“Don’t worry about breakfast, little one. I don’t need anything this morning.” He says before kissing your cheek. But you were worrying about breakfast, because you wanted it… but the only way you’d be getting food is if you made it. Tommy wasn’t here to care for you anymore. “I’ll be gone until the evening, what's for dinner?”

The thought of cooking, the thought of raw meats and the strong smells of spices made you want to vomit again. “I dunno…”

“I think a few of them chickens is ready to be butchered, you ever made chicken parmesan? We got that cheese I brought back yesterday, you could make something like that.”

You groan a bit, exhausted and tired despite being only 3 months in. You didn’t sleep at all last night, nightmares of the past and the future plaguing you. He knew that you didn’t sleep, you had told him… “Joel I can’t, the butchering, I feel so-”

“I’ll make Lorenzo do it.” He promises. “Chicken parmesan it is then?” He decided for you. What he didn’t understand is it wasn’t just butchering a few chickens. To make chicken parm you need chicken breasts, not the rest of it. You didn’t waste meat, so Lorenzo kills (you could do it on a normal day, but not with your heightened smell) then you pluck, clean, Lorenzo butchers, then you have to separate the different parts and put them into hygienic storage and take them to the freezer locker, then thoroughly clean yourself, all the tools and surfaces (and Lorenzo) to prevent illness. It would take hours. But Joel didn’t see that, he only ever saw the food at the end of his day.

“Okay” You agree reluctantly, and he begins kissing your neck and groping you, no doubt wanting a quicky before a long day of unspeakable violence. “Joel, please, I don’t feel good.” You beg him not to, but you learned in the past that this never got far.

His morning breath wasn’t helping anything as he tugged down your shorts. “I’ll be quick.”

You knew what that meant. Joel slid into you with no prep, no lubrication, and it burned. The steady rocking was the last thing you needed right now, and with his head buried in your neck, you covered your mouth as the nausea took over. You threw up, but like everything the last several months, you just swallowed it down again to deal with when Joel was gone. When he came inside (wasn’t he worried about you getting pregnant again?) you quickly pull up your pants and run to the bathroom, pushing past Lorenzo no doubt on his way to babysitting duties with you. 

As he watched you run past and heard the sounds of throwing up, Lorenzo caught Joel’s arm as he brushed past. “Peppermint or ginger. Find it, whatever form it's in. Oils, drops, whatever. If you can find the leaves or the root we can make it into a tea. Just find it, it’ll help her nausea.”

Month 4

“Okay Lorenzo, I got a question for you, and you can’t make fun of me.” You say as you cook, the swell of your belly beginning to show now.

“No guarantees.” He says, sitting his drink. How did he find so much alcohol?

“Fine. Okay… when Joel and I have sex-”

He visibly cringed. “Since when do we talk about our sex lives?” 

“Renzo.”

“Fine, go on. But remember I’m not exactly an expert on female anatomy.”

You take a deep breath. “Okay. Well I told you he always pulls out right? Um… ever since I told him im pregnant… he doesn’t.”

Lorenzo waits for you to continue, but you don’t. You think that’s it. “What the problem?”

You continue to avoid looking at him, stirring the soup. “Well.. what if I get pregnant again?”

He stares at you like he’s trying to make sense of your question before the recognition sets in. “OH!” But before he explains what he means… his face shifts… theres something sad in there, a hint of pain in his eyes you only saw once, the face he had as he looked at you in disgust while Joel carried you from the bedroom to the bath while you were covered head to toe in spit and cum and period blood… was it pity? “Jesus kid… No one really taught you anything, did they?”

“C’mon, just tell me.”

Scrubbing his face, he sighed. “No, you can’t get pregnant while your already pregnant.”

Oh. “Wait… really?”

“Yes, really.”

“Ah. Okay then.”

There was a long, long silence before he spoke again. “If you got any other question about, like… pregnancy and birth… I can try and answer.”

Joel had been trying to find a doctor, a midwife, something for you… but it was slim pickings in Wyoming. 

Five minuets later, you were squealing, covering your ears, but laughing. “Ew! What the hell is a mucus plug! You know what, I don’t wanna-”

“IT’S A PLUG FULL OF MUCUS IN YOUR VAGINA WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS?!?!” He yells loud enough to get past your attempt at blocking your ears. 

“NAH NAH NAH NAH NAH!!! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” But you still could.

“Honestly in the last month or two all kinds of weird things are gonna come out of you including but not limited to a very slimey and weird looking baby.”

You gasp, feigning indignance. “How dare you insult my unborn child!”

“It ain’t personal, sweetheart. All babies look ugly as fuck as newborns. Now, let’s get back to the gritty details.”

With a squeal, you try to run away. “No! I know enough!” But you’re laughing. It felt like you were messing around with Zach back in your childhood home. 

“My sister Elaina lost like 4 teeth.”

“AAAHHHHH!”

Month 5

Joel had finally found a midwife of sorts. Well, technically, Jack did, as it was his cousin. Maura had been a nurse in the birthing wing a short time before everything went to shit and had been helping women deliver babies ever since. Initially, she told Jack to keep his mouth shut. She hated Joel and didn’t want a thing to do with him, but when no one else showed up and you were in your 5th month, she relented, purely for the sake of the innocent kidnapped girl. 

“Put the fucking gun away, Joel.” She said as she entered your room, grabbing the barrel in Joel’s hands and pointing it to the floor. “Point that shit at me again and I’m not helping your child bride.” She stared him down, head tilted up only slightly to reach his eyes. If she was intimidated by Joel, she wouldn’t

Joel glared at her, but he didn’t have many options. “If you hurt her-”

“From what I hear, you’re doing enough of that yourself. Now, you stand up against the wall and watch if you want to, but don’t interfere, and do not try to intimidate me, understood?”

You watched in awe as she stood her ground… It had been months before you had done anything of the sort against Joel, only standing up to him when Tommy’s life was in danger. Joel gave a curt nod and she turn to approach where you lay, sat up against some pillows.

A gentle smile was on her face, but it was clear she was here for business. Still, her confidence and certainty put you at ease.

“My name’s Maura, I’ll be helping deliver this baby.” She was beautiful, with long black hair and a light smattering of freckles on her face, but got straight to the point. It was clear she knew what she was doing, asking you questions you hadn’t even thought of yet and examining you. When she was done, she stood up, looking at you, not Joel. “It seems despite the circumstances-”

Joel tried to interrupt. “The fuck’s that supposed to mean”

But Maura ignored him, keeping your attention with her bright brown eyes. “Despite the circumstances, everything appears to be progressing naturally, theres no cause for concern as of right now. But you need to keep things low stress.” It was then she turned to glare at Joel, to emphasize her point.

Maura said she’d be staying near-by and Joel was paying her a hefty price for her services. When you’d go into labor, Joel was to send a man on horse to fetch her, preferably Jack, but she warned she would armed, and she’d be there shortly.

That night, Joel held you close as you discussed baby names. 

“How about Loretta? Like that singer you liked?”

Joel hums, none commital. “I always liked Dorothy, we could call her Dolly as a nickname. I know you like Dolly Parton” Joel had been teaching you about old country music, and you certainly had a few favorites. Not knowing many women in general, your pool of girl names was not strong so you drew from singers he’d mentioned. 

You scrunch up your nose a bit at that. “I like Dolly, I don’t like Dorothy.”

“It was my grandmas name, I’d really like to name our daughter after her.” His voice had that tone to it, the one that left little room to argue, but you tried to push past Dorothy.

“Maybe June? Like June Carter?” You knew how particle he was to Johnny Cash, but also... that was the name of the only friend you had before Tommy.

“That’s beautiful, little one, June it is.” He smiles into your skin, and you think you’ve won, when he says. “Dorothy June.” 

He had already decided, and there was no real option to argue or change his mind. You’d just call her Dolly, then.

You had one thing you really, really wanted for boy name, and you desperately hoped you could get it, but you couldn’t tell him why. You didn’t want any more kids so this was your only shot. You hadn’t even wanted this one, but as your stomach swelled with life, motherly love came with it and you decided you’d make the best of the situation. The child inside you was your number one priority. “Okay, boys? I really like Caleab… It’s my favorite boy name…” You didn’t have to tell him that was Zach’s middle name.

“I like it, bebita.” 

You got what you wanted. You knew Joel was hoping for a girl, so you figured he was less particular on the boy name. 

“Got any ideas for the middle name?” You ask him.

“Nothing in mind, really. I’m open…” He kisses your neck.  “Anything you want?”

You keep quiet. The name you wanted… he’d never go for.

Joel pulled you closer, nuzzling his face against you as he whispered. “Ah. I see.” You freeze. Tommy hadn’t been so much as alluded to since he barely made it out alive and you thought for sure Joel would have a fit, and you began to prepare yourself to feel a hand wrapped around your throat… But he tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed into your locks as he settled down for bed. “Caleb Thomas”

Month 6 

Lorenzo was getting on your fucking nerves today, and you were about to fling the frying pan, bubbling grease and all, at his face. 

“Will you shut up?”

“No, I’m not going to shut up because you are being fucking stupid!” Instead of his usual spot sitting at the kitchen table, he’s standing, arms crossed, in the doorway as you tried to get diner done. “I told you the first day, you are a dumb. Bitch.” he was drunk, three sheets to the wind and absolutely no filter.

“You have no fucking idea what I am! I am trying to fucking survive, Lorenzo, I am trying to keep myself and this baby-”

“You are playing housewife to a serial murder and a rapist!” He yells at you, clearly frustrated. “You are rewarding all the bad things he’s ever done you just give positive reinforcement-”

“Don’t fucking blame me! I’m not reinforcing the bad, I’m reinforcing the good!” You storm over to him, glaring Lorenzo down. “You have no fucking idea how bad things were! I used to dream about killing myself, about dying, about Joel finally snapping and doing it! I am doing the best in the conditions I have!”

“You could have left! You could have left with Zach and gone off with him for fucks sake!”

With a burst of anger you didn’t know was even in you anymore, you shove him, hard, causing the drunk to fall over. “You wanna know what he did last time I tried to run? He caught me within 10 minuets, dragged me back and chained me to this table-” You point at the table that you and Joel sit at most evenings now for diner. “And raped me in front of everyone, Lorenzo! Then he branded me and left me to be gang raped by all your little buddies here! And no one could stop him, not even Tommy! All Tommy could do is stand by and watch, and unchain me after Joel left before anyone could do anything more!”

Lorenzo was not deterred. “That’s my fucking point!”

“If I leave and he catches me, I am dead!”

Scoffing, Lorenzo rolls his eyes from where he’s slumped against the floor. “Yeah, that’s why”

Unsure how much more you can take from him, you motion him to continue.

“You just don’t wanna admit you fell in love with your rapist.”

That was enough. You begin to walk away from him, but he follows after you. 

“What about when you give birth, huh? What kind of father is he going to be? Are you going to stand by while he beats your kids?”

“SHUT UP!” You scream, still walking away. 

“And what if you have a daughter? You just gonna let him molest her like your dad-”

You wipe around so fast you don’t even have time to blink. “No, Joel isn’t like that.” 

Lorenzo laughs at you, cruel and loud. “You are 20 years younger than him, he raped you! You really think he’s above-”

“YES! He will not hurt her like that!”

“And if you have a son? Do you really wanna raise a man like Joel? The kind of man who beats and rapes innocent girls?”

Tears prickle at your eyes now, a terrible tightness in your chest bubbling with stomach bile. “N-no, that’s not gonna happen, I won’t let-”

“Oh, because you’ve had so much choice the last year, havn’t you. Sooooo much control.”

“I won’t.” You shake your head vigorously. “I won’t let anything happen to my baby, Joel won’t hurt them.”

“So, say he doesn't. You really gonna raise a kid here? Half the men here would’ve raped you, given the chance! You really think your child is safe here?”

You can’t argue with him when he’s right. But he doesn’t get it. Joel is good now, Joel protects you, Joel will protect the baby… Joel is gentle now… soft, kind… he thinks of you, he sings you songs… he plays music for you, he’ll be a good dad… You’ll be okay…

You shut down, going into autopilot. You don’t look at Lorenzo as you walk back to the kitchen to finish frying the chicken. Joel would be home soon.

Month 7

“JACK! GET MAURA!” Joel shouts as you groan on the bed, the tight contractions hurting.

“Joel, it hurts!” You call for him, and in a flash Joel is at your bedside, letting you squeeze his hand. 

“I know, little one, I know…” He pets your hair, having flashbacks to Sarah’s birth…. He wanted another girl so bad, but god, he just wanted a healthy baby and for his girl to make it out alive. Birth was dangerous in modern medicine, nonetheless a post-apocalyptic shitstorm. 

Lorenzo stood in the doorway, biting his nails. “You’re not due for another 8 weeks!”

Grunting through the pain, you let a rare bout of sarcasm slip. “Oh yeah, that’s right, never mind.”

“Could be false labor, you know? That’s called Braxton-Hicks contractions?” Lorenzo looked more nervous than you.

Joel ignored him. “It’s gonna be okay, Maura’s on her way and I think even out here 32 weeks is gonna be okay.” Joel wasn’t entirely sure about his own words. 32 weeks meant a premature baby, and pre-mature usually meant NICU… but there was no NICU to go to… if the babies lungs were under developed or anything like that, there were no options. 

Lorenzo was chewing through his nails enough to draw blood. “Or maybe it’s Braxton-Hicks”

At that, Joel finally acknowledges Lorenzo. “Okay, we get it, you know the term Braxton-Hicks, we’re all very impressed.”

“AHHHHHHH” You yell, wishing to get there was something for the pain.

Lorenzo wouldn’t shut up. “Okay, contractions are getting longer, that means your in active labor?”

“Her water hasn’t broke yet!” 

“Is she dilated?”

“Does it look like her pants are off to you?”

“Well check!”

“I don’t know how to tell! Weren’t you bragging last month you helped your sister give birth in a Walmart?”

“That doesn’t mean I know how to check if she’s dilated!”

“You know more than me!”

“I’m not sticking my fucking face between legs!”

“Oh, because you’re gay you’re suddenly scared of vagina’s?”

“What are you talking about?”

“So you’d rather let her just die?”

“DIE? Joel she’s not gonna die because I’m not looking at her fucking cu-”

“GUYS” you shout, causing both to turn and look at you. “The contractions stopped.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lorenzo speaks. “Oh. Huh. That’s uhhh… Braxton-Hicks I guess. False labor.”

As Joel kissed you that night, sex was the last thing you wanted, but you knew there was no point in fighting it.

Joel sucked on your throat, already bruised with dark marks from the night before, now sore and aching with new licks and bites, his hands roaming to expanse of skin presented before him. Gripping, feeling, pinching, tugging, some things felt good, some hurt, but that didn’t matter. He’d get you off, he always did, at night anyway, but you knew sometimes he just liked to feel you, feel what he owned.  The pain is mine. Your cries are mine, your cunt is mine. And if you bleed? Your blood is mine.

Your belly round and swollen with child, he could not hardly keep his hand off it, every time his hand traveled to explore, it quickly found itself returning to its home, never wanting to miss a kick. He slithered down, nestling his face between your legs and devouring your pussy the way he did your neck, the way he did every piece of you, body and soul and until there was nothing left but this subservient version of you, weak and obedient to his hands. He lapped you up, skilled tongue exploring through your folds only pausing to nibble at the soft skin of your thighs or kiss the round stomach above him. He felt extra possessive today, a desperate, anxious way about him as he devoured you so hungrily you wondered if he intended to eat you, swallow you whole to keep you with him forever; a communion, and you were the eucharist, a matrimony of cannibalism. 

You wanted to tug at his hair, you wanted to entangle yourself in him but your belly was in the way, so you simply laid back and enjoyed as he tongue fucked you, prodding at your entrance, his hands on the globe where your child waits to be born.

“Fuck, Joel, need you, need to cum, please.”

You beg for him, plead, and he devours. Joel knows you love when his perfect, plus lips such at your mound and your clit with long fingers fingering into you, and you yelp when they curl up and hit that spot inside you. “Keep moaning, little one, let me hear you.”

You obliged. Sometimes you wondered how sick everyone in the house was of hearing you, but they weren’t the ones you needed to please; pleasing Joel kept you alive.

“I need you inside me, please” Nudging him with your leg as you cry for his cock. “Joel, I gotta have you inside me, I need to cum on your cock, please? Please, Joel-”

A wet, sloppy sound as he detached from you, and his eyes looked just as hungry as he acted while he crawled up. “You beg so pretty, little one, such a pretty little cock whore.”

But you didn’t have time for his talking, you needed him inside you, now; the hormones of the pregnancy had a mind of their own. You take a chance and push him down, watching Joel smile as you straddle his waist. “God, I just- just need you.”

“The take me, little one, take me” 

You cry out as you sink down onto him, feeling your cunt split on him. “Fuuuck!” Sobbing, you take him fully and begin to fuck yourself on him.

“Just like that, pretty girl, fuck, taking me so well, gonna have you all stretched out to have this baby, huh? Gonna give me a child, little girl? A baby of our own? Fuck, fuck you look so pretty like this, swollen with my child, stretching your stomach as I stretch your cunt, fucking perfect, my perfect wife.”

Wife.

Wife.

Wife?!

You knew Joel was delusional… but fuck, Lorenzo was right… you were playing house wife. Joel thought of you as his wife… 

“Gonna fuck you full of my cum, again, and again, keep you constantly knocked up, make our happy little family, you and me and a dozen little kids running around, FUCK, our family, our family.”

You continued the pace, you couldn’t falter, you couldn’t slow down, you couldn’t hesitate; you couldn’t give any sort of reason for him to think you didn’t want this…

But it suddenly struck you

You were trapped. Joel trapped you with a baby, knowing you’d need him to protect it, knowing you’d never leave your child… and now he was going to keep you pregnant. You could never leave with 5,6,7 kids, it would be impossible. 

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock little one, just little that…” Joel reached out to touch you, roughly manhandling your tits that were swollen and engorged.

You begin to cry, but that wouldn’t give away anything for Joel; he fucking loved that shit.

One hand on your breast, one on your clit. “Cry on my cock, baby girl, cry when you cum.”

You did, you sobbed as you came, your body betraying the horrors you felt at his hands.

Month 8

“Hey Joel? Can I talk to you about something?”

You had to do it. You had to. And it had to be now. You two had fucked less than half an hour ago and he was currently eating your food, humming contently. He was always lovey-dovey after sex, and was always much happier after food… The pair didn’t line up often, so now was your chance. 

“What’s on your mind, little one? Nervous about being a mother? You’ll be a great mom; I just know it.” He smiled at you with puppy dog eyes, looking up from his plate, and you couldn’t help smiling back, not when he showered you with compliments.

“Well… you’ve said before you wanted lots of kids… but we… well this little baby was an accident.”

“A miracle, not an accident.” Joel corrected you. You didn’t see how conceiving a child the night he was threatening to blow your brains onto a wall for sleeping with his brother if you didn’t shoot said-baby’s uncle was a miracle… but you digress

“Right. Well… we never really talked about more kids… and although I’m over the moon about this baby, I did initially not want to have it.” Joel’s face began to darken, but you powered through. “Maybe we could see how we feel about one kid after a few years before thinking about-”

Joel slammed down his silverware. “What are you trying to say.”

But you freeze. This was a bad idea, you needed to placate immediately, you needed to calm him down. “N-nothing, Joel, just thinking out loud.”

He stood up, a deadly, blank stare on his face, so far removed from the adoration as he bestowed kisses on your ever-growing belly. Joel walked around the table, standing behind you and placing firm hands on your shaking shoulders, leaning into your ear. 

“You say’n you don’t want my kids? Don’t wanna be their mama? You don’t wanna be my wife?”

“No, no that’s not-” But you don’t get a chance to finish, his hand is wrapped around your throat and insane strength pulling you up and out of the chair, the wooden furniture toppled to the side in a loud clatter. He slams the back of your head against the drywall, you’re toes barely touch the ground; struggling to breath, you claw at his hand, but he doesn’t even blink.

The panic begins to set it.

“YOU ARE NOT IN CHARGE! YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE CHOICES!” He screams, and out of the corner of your eye you watch as a few men hesitantly gather, like vultures waiting on the next piece of deadmeat. You couldn’t see who, but it didn’t matter. Even the good ones couldn’t intervene.

Joel’s face was suddenly right in front of yours. “Everything you have, any freedom, any luxuries, any power you think you have is because I have given it to you.” Black spots appeared, your vision blurring, sinking into the unknown and god, did it feel sweet. Was it finally over? “I bought you, I own you, you have no rights! You are nothing! You are nothing but a toy for me to play with, a breeding bitch and you should be so lucky to sit at my table!”

He let go, but as you gasped for breath, Joel yanked at your hair and patched you across the room, not letting go of his grasp on you as you flung into the counter. What he didn’t know, what he could never understand was how the handle of the draw rammed into the brand on your side. Suddenly, all sense, all rational went out the window, and you were violently thrust back to last year as he burned his initials into your skin. The flashbacks were triggered, and the result was nothing short of hysteria. You cry out for the only person who would step in.

“TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMY!TOMMYYYY” You scream, the fact Tommy was miles away didn’t matter, nor did the fact this would only anger Joel more. This didn’t matter; you wanted him, no one but him, and all sense was knocked out of you.

Joel pulls you up by your hair and slaps you hard enough that you taste blood and screams at you to not say Tommy’s name, but you can’t stop, you scream and scream and scream for him to come save you and your baby, the precious little life inside you that has never done anything wrong. 

You fight and claw and panic, hysterics drowning out the one or two voices telling Joel to stop; who they belonged to, you couldn’t say. 

Joel stopped listening, and the voices grow louder as Joel drags you, kicking and screaming, outside; rope and a chair in his hand, your hair in the other, and Joel walked with long strides to a tree outside.

****************

YEEEEEEESSSSHHHHHHHHHHH Cliiiiiff hanger, hanging from a cliiiiiiffff thats why he's caaaaallled, Cliff Hangers!

Who else used to watch Inbetween The Lions? Anyway.

Who wanna guess what happens!

Only two chapters left!

For the sake of credit, if you didn't find the superstore reference or dont watch the show, most of the dialogue between Joel and Lorenzo and LO was between Amy and Jonah from two birth related episodes of superstore

Also, Maura is named after my dear dear friend @maura-honey who although is not generally a fanfiction girlie, made a tumblr so she could read, like and reblog this series and always sends me such lovely messages <3

Reblogs are the best way to spread and support, but comments mean the world. I know not everyone likes to share dark content on their blog, but even a kind anon is such support!

for those who voted you dont like or hate or Lorenzo, I hope that doesn't mean you hate him as n he's a bad character. I got a comment on AO3 that said "i cant tell if i like lorenzo or not, but i like him in the story" which makes sense! His victim blaming is really fucking shitty.

no poll today, sorry!

MoonBanana said they think LO copes by lying to herself until she beleives it, what do y'all think? is she as delusional as joel?

@my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @howaboutcastiel @tidlewav3 @bunnnyy-dummy @slutfortimotheechalamet @foggymoonbanana @dinsbaby @miraclesabound @jenna-ortega @primosworld @marclovers @threeheadedlamb @secretwriterpp @the-fox-den

@bitchyglitterfox @0bsessedwithfictionalcharacters @alloftheboysivelovedbefore @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @lunar-ghoulie @pedritosdarling @dreamonseems @alwaysdjarin @amoramorquetepintas @milla-frenchy

[jayz4dayz]

RWBY Volume 9 Was A Total Missed Opportunity:

Putting this out there right now. Volume 9 is by far my favorite volume of RWBY for many reasons which I will not be addressing in this post, but there are a few things that have been on my mind since it's been released where I feel the storyline went wrong and could have been something so much more meaningful for the character's story arcs and development.

Starting off with our main man or should I say our old man Jaune Arc. His presence throughout Vol. 9 felt out of place not just for his character, but also the way his development was handled didn't feel right in the slightest. Becoming a crazy old crackpot because he foolishly made bad decision after bad decision, completely altering and undoing a lot of his character's timeline, and turning into this sort of secondary antagonist for Team RWBY made no sense to me. The way he said so many out of pocket things throughout the different episodes, including completely crossing a line with Ruby and being insensitive towards her mental and emotional condition instead of showing genuine concern like he normally would have, made me cringe to where I wasn't enjoying what I was watching anymore. Not in a good way!

Here's how I would have done it:

Going back to the very end of volume 8 where we see Jaune running towards the portal and barely missing it by mere inches, followed by seeing him fall into the dark abyss and joining the same fate as Team RWBY and Neo. Instead of that, we see him jumping through the portal at the very last second and making it to Vacuo by the skin of his teeth. The others see him and question why he's alone and where Team RWBY was, only for him to go "Uh..." and then the screen cuts to black and the credits start rolling.

We're gonna skip the three year hiatus and jump right into the beginning of Vol. 9 where only Team RWBY and Neo have fallen into the Ever After. For the first few episodes leading up to the reveal of the Rusted Knight, I don't think much needs to change except for the fact that they won't ever encounter Jaune, but they will still encounter the Rusted Knight who, in this version, is someone that would have had the entire fandom shook to their core when the big reveal of the Rusted Knight's identity happened: Pyrrha.

Now, how would she get to this point, you might ask? Well, remember when she got pierced by Cinder's Arrow and her body seemed to disintegrate? This scene:

This death compared to all the other characters who were killed off was unique in the fact that there was no body left behind and it almost appeared her energy was transported to another place. Hmm, perhaps another realm such as the In Between or the Ever After? Why this happened, in my opinion, was because of the use of someone else's semblance. We know very little about Pyrrha's family and have only seen her mother on screen once, so we don't know much about her backstory or semblance either. However, if her semblance worked anything like Raven's to where she needed to be attached to someone in order for her semblance to work and transfer her loved ones to a safer location to escape a deadly threat, now we have something. What if her mom's semblance transported the body to another realm of her choice right before the moment of death? (I like to call it a "divine intervention" semblance.) If that's the case, then why wouldn't it make sense for a mother's love to send her daughter somewhere familiar and (relatively) safe and still accessible to Remnant? The Ever After was based on a children's tale that everyone knew growing up and Pyrrha being as smart as she is would instantly recognize where she was transported to. Maybe she had knowledge of her mother's semblance and knew this might have happened one day, or maybe not. I find the one scene her mother is in to be very interesting because while she was talking to Jaune, she had a very bitter-sweet attitude about it and almost talked as if she knew more than she let on, but I digress.

In the story's timeline, when Team RWBY arrives in the Ever After, Pyrrha would have been there already for a couple of years. That would have given her enough time to establish herself and explore the different acres because let's be real here, Pyrrha wouldn't have stumbled upon the time travel fruit and messed around with it like Jaune did, nor would she have focused all her energy into the people of the land even though she would protect them with her life if she had to, but at the end of the day, she was just trying to figure out a way home. Once she stumbles across Team RWBY, it would all make sense why the Tree didn't let her return to Remnant yet. By this point, I'm sure she would have encountered Alyx, Lewis, and the Curious cat, probably handled the situation a lot better than Jaune did, and give Team RWBY a cautionary tale about the Curious Cat in a way that wasn't bitter or vengeful. The bee's having their special moment still would have happened, the team's fallout with the Curious Cat still would have gone down, and then we get to the scene with Neo's Jabber Walker clones and Ruby has her mental breakdown and identity crisis. I don't see Pyrrha blaming Ruby for what happened to the Paper Pleasers despite her immense sorrow for the loss of her only friends she had during her time in the Ever After. Her experiences with the Paper Pleasers would have been way different too because there's no way she'd be a gold-hearted tyrant like Jaune was painted out to be. I do see Ruby blaming herself and still running off anyway because she feels like a burden and a failure as a leader. I didn't enjoy the way Jaune was the center of focus when Ruby was very clearly in a dangerous state of mind and I'm positive Pyrrha would have picked up on it right away and address it to Ruby's team after the fact and not go off on her for not doing enough.

Team RWPY would go on the search for Ruby and still find her in Neo's torture dungeon, which would have been just as painful to watch, especially from Pyrrha's point of view. Ruby having to watch Pyrrha die in Vol.3 and now she had to witness Ruby "die" in Vol. 9 is kind of a trippy coincidence that fits so well. The only difference being Pyrrha immediately taking the initiative to find Ruby before the cat does and the final battle being way more epic. Jaune certainly gained a lot of battle experience throughout the series, but Pyrrha was always ahead of him in that respect and without a doubt would have sharpened her skills to perfection while she was on her own in the Ever After. Ruby emerges as a new version of herself, they defeat the Curious Cat, Neo ascends, and all of the girls finally get to go home together, hand in hand.

I can even go as far as to say this would have made Vol. 9 Beyond so much better too. Picture it, Team RWBY and Pyrrha leaving the portal and the first person to see them is Jaune. The potential for Arkos here is so strong it kills me inside! They'd have a raw moment between each other, there'd be lots of crying on Jaune and maybe even Pyrrha's part too, a long hug, and most definitely a romantic kiss that would have tied their relationship arc together in such a perfect way. It would have brought Pyrrha back and that's honestly all I want.

Of course, this is all just for shits and giggles, but I'd love to hear what y'all think or if you have something else to add! ^-^

[cienie-isengardu]

I remember scrolling MK reddit and a post basically asked why Bi-Han let Sareeena live and consensus was basically Bi-Han thinking with his lower head and feeling bad for her, though a lot of people leaned towards Bi-Han being horny unironically and sparing her because he thought she was pretty and because he didn't seem her a threat.

Like lmao, I get Bi-Han is not socialized that great and I can see where people are coming from but I'm hoping he's not that shallow lol.

Nah, Bi-Han is not that shallow. The man does not comment on women's beauty - or anyone’s for that matter, the way the clearly horny characters do, like Johnny, Erron or Kano. His intro dialogues also has no sexually creepy undertones, the way Kano and Mileena sometimes imply things. So I think it is safe to assume that Bi-Han in general is not a sexually driven type of person. 

It would help a lot if the game or tie-in material gives us more direct reasoning for his action, however even the provided basic knowledge allow us to see the main difference between Scorpion and Sareena and it’s not about gender (though that may play some secondary role), but the fact that Hanzo, presumably, wanted to kill Sub-Zero, not for rivalry over the Map but because he was a Lin Kuei, an sworn enemy of Shirai Ryu clan, while Sareena was doing just her duty - following Quan Chi’s orders and there was nothing personal about their fight. So in a sense, Bi-Han could feel some kinship with the woman even despite her attempt at stopping his effort to save Earthrealm and trying to kill him, because he understood well what it means to serve merciless masters, as he himself, no matter how praised, was ultimately just a tool in Grandmaster’s schemes. Sareena has never been anything other than another obstacle in his path to beat down Quan Chi and steal the amulet back, so I can see why murdering her could feel pointless as it didn't serve any real goal of his.

Hanzo on other hand was tipped by Quan Chi about Sub-Zero’s mission - something the sorcerer did not deny at all 

Quan Chi: Greetings, I see the ninja has been successful in retrieving my map... as I have forseen.  Sub-Zero: Let's get something straight... I am not a ninja. I am Lin Kuei. Scorpion was a ninja!  Quan Chi: Ah yes, your Japanese counterpart. It's unfortunate that you happened upon him in your battle with the pesky Shaolin monks.  Sub-Zero: Scorpion was tipped off... he knew I was breaking into that temple, and if he weren't there - there wouldn't have been a battle! You are responsible for this sorcerer!

and as the game shows, Scorpion managed to get inside the Shaolin Monks Temple before Lin Kuei. But instead of quietly stealing the man and getting the hell out of the place while his rival was busy fighting Shaolin Monks, Scorpion literally was introduced as a man who mocked and provoked Sub-Zero  (“You will fail. Hahahaha”) and challenged him to fight over the Map ("The map is mine Sub-Zero. Fight!").

When the both men met again in Netherrealm, Hanzo accused Bi-Han for killing him in cold blood to which Bi-Han responded he had no choice. 

Warrior: I am a dead man. But somehow you have retained your mortality, which would mean you are vulnerable to death.  Sub-Zero: Wait... I know your voice.  Scorpion: Yessss... I am Scorpion. You killed me in cold blood.  Sub-Zero: I had no choice. If I had not stolen that map I would be the dead one.

Maybe Sub-Zero did not trust Scorpion to not attack him again as he did not believe Shirai Ryu would respect the act of mercy. Maybe he figured out he must kill his sworn-enemy, because Lin Kuei tradition demanded that and if Grandmaster learned about Sub-Zero sparing Scorpion’s life, he would be severely punished. Whatever was the reason, Bi-Han took no pride in killing Shirai Ryu, as he did not boast about that. When returning to Lin Kuei Temple, Bi-Han greeted the leader with “Grandmaster, in honor of the Lin Kuei, I bring you this sacred Map of Elements.” but there was no as a bonus, I also killed the filthy Shirai Ryu dog. Instead, he was clearly angry at Quan Chi for creating the whole situation in the first place by hiring the second assassin of the enemy clan (“[Scorpion] knew I was breaking into that temple, and if he weren't there - there wouldn't have been a battle! You are responsible for this sorcerer!).

So to my understanding, killing Hanzo was dictated by unfavorable circumstances and long-termed enmity between Shirai Ryu and Lin Kuei clans that forced Bi-Han’s hand while Sareena was just a demoness doing her job the same way as he was doing his. Frankly, Fujin too was not killed by Bi-Han, nor I don’t think sources implied he attempted to murder any Gods of Elements or Shaolin Monks on purpose - otherwise I think Raiden would be much more angry at the Lin Kuei assassin. Or at least mentioned that, in similar fashion to intro dialogue in which Liu Kang said "The Shaolin's losses have left many angry" to past!Scorpion, who took part in murdering Shaolin Monks in MK11.

Also, when Sareena came to aid Bi-Han in his fight against Quan Chi, Sub-Zero was understandably surprised by demoness’ action:

Sub-Zero: Why did you help me?  Sareena: You are still mortal... that means you can escape the Netherealm.  Sub-Zero: There won't be anywhere to go if I don't get the amulet back.  Sareena: Take me with you... I've waited an eternity to escape.  Sub-Zero: You don't understand. I can't leave without the...

but there is literally zero implication he finds Sareena sexy or hot or trying to pull the card “I spared your life so you own me” to get a “reward” from her. I repeat, a relatively sexy/beautiful lady just asked Sub-Zero to take her with him and Bi-Han’s mind was solely on the mission - getting back the amulet before Shinnok destroys his realm. 

Dunno about you all, but that interaction for me doesn’t sound like Bi-Han was thinking with his dick or in any way ever was smitten by Sareena’s beauty; he was a man on a mission and there is a chance he may be just more merciful than people want to give him a credit for. 

The last one brings me back to MK9, in which I still think Bi-Han's head gesture was a voiceless support for Johnny to not kill Baraka, the same way Raiden did for Cyrax. He may not have any love for strangers, he may mock Hanzo, but I don't think he is the cold killer that takes pleasure in killing like some characters do.

[eerna]

okay wait actually now that we're on the book-series-strengths-and-shortcomings-train what do you love most about tlt and tlc? (multiple answers bonus)

HOHO A COMBO

TLC: 1) Friendship not being secondary to romance!! The series' main theme is love. In the grand finale the big bad taunts the MC about love... but she doesn't use her boyfriend, no, she uses her best friend. This is made even more powerful because by all means, the best friend was meant to be the secondary love interest by all rules of 2012 YA, but NO he is JUST A FRIEND and it is not treated as "something less". 2) Team building!!!! Oh my god!!!! Building onto point 1, but it needs its own point. Rarely does a fictional team of main characters feel as natural as the Rampion Crew. This is even more impressive because the 9 of them don't appear in the same room until the end of the series. Even though the team consists of 4 couples and 1 single, everyone has a dynamic with everyone, they have arcs that aren't tied exclusively to their partner but also someone else on the team, they interact with each other freely. 3) The wide range of characters! I am a sucker for a "team of girls totally different from each other saves the world" setup, and TLC does it perfectly. I think this is one of the best YA series out there because of how much it empowers different kinds of girls. The guys are also easy to tell apart even at first read, and I sooo appreciate that at least one of them isn't conventionally attractive (anymore). 4) It's so funny. I love these books and how funny they are. They hit the perfect balance between a fun teen adventure and a heartfelt emotional story. 5) This is one of the least "Here's what REALLY happened" series I've read. A bunch of times major things influence characters' thoughts and opinions, but those things are fake and never revealed as fake, OR the characters never learn some big things that could change their opinions at all. Seeing how impacted Winter was when she realized Levana truly loved her father, when I KNOW what really happened, always shakes me to my core - and Winter never learns the truth!!! Everyone who could explain what really happened is dead!! Winter will forever go on thinking at least her father had a marriage of love!!! And why should she learn the truth, really, it would only serve as yet another sad plot twist that traumatizes her even deeper. 6) Levana. I am not usually a villain girlie, but Levana absolutely slaps. She is simultaneously disgusting, horrible, and pitiful. Usually if I like the villain it's because he has something smart to say, but Levana doesn't, I can't relate to her or see things from her perspective... But the leads can! Levana seems to carry all the trauma and complexes of our leads, but she crumbled under them, showing Cinder what she might have become if not for her loved ones.

TLT: 1) Isn't afraid of people not getting it!! Do you understand how refreshing this is to see in a mainstream popular series??? The book doesn't act like you are an idiot, it acts like you are some sort of a genius, and you feel illiterate until you realize NO ONE got it the first time around and you're gonna have to do lots of rereading and thinking to get it. This makes it impossible to get into for some people, but so what. So what!!! What matters is that it rewards those who stay and put in the work!! 2) Absolutely bonkers insane relationships. No one can be "just a friend" in these, we need 1000 different layers of trauma and tenderness surrounding everyone. 3) Pathetic women. These books are the epitome of all the worst parts of yourself laid bare. These characters act out the most shameful, horrible memories and impulses of your heart, all the while spouting poetics about the entire situation. And it is pure catharsis!! It is so rare to see female characters depicted this pathetic without it being torture porn. 4) Writing style. It's the perfect example of how realism doesn't matter if you're good with your words. No one in these books talks like a real life person, but they are all distinct from each other and filled with personality. Every book has several lines that have the power to reduce me a to a sobbing mess just from hearing them. Just. The writing style is so good that I even enjoy reading INTERVIEWS with the author, she has a way of speaking that keeps you engaged and makes her sound so smart. 5) Each book is its own thing, keeping you on your toes, but they all still feel cohesive. It also means that even if the final book sucks, I won't have any hangups about it, since I will just be able to reread the first 3. Honestly even if AtN never comes out, I won't feel like I wasted any time, because the books are so fantastic and so worth reading that the end of the journey doesn't even matter to me that much - and if you've been here a while, you'll know what a radical statement that is for me. It is so nice to relax and enjoy the ride instead of stressing over my thoughts and opinions aging badly.

[physalian]

Am I the only one who likes Heroes of Olympus less and less as I get older?

Sometimes I think about how much better Heroes of Olympus could have been if there was A Plan. I have reread my copy of TLO so many times I have to be careful with it because the spine is falling apart, meanwhile I don’t think I’ve opened my copy of MOA. Originally read it borrowed from a friend as the copy I have came with the box set.

I don’t know what went on behind the scenes or why choices were made and they weren’t written that far apart so it can’t be nostalgia interfering—I was in middle school when the first few HOO books came out, I distinctly remember being a little jealous seventh grader that an eighth grader in my criminology class had the hardback of Lost Hero. But I wish I did know what went through either Riordan’s mind or his editor’s or the people at Disney-Hyperion because this series… just pales in comparison in so many ways to the original.

Not to say it’s all bad! So before anyone starts screaming, here’s the shortlist of things I liked:

I think SON was probably the best written overall as a cohesive story between all POVs, never got bored waiting for Percy’s POV to come back around and Frank and Hazel are awesome characters

Still adore the Tartarus sections in HOH, I loved all the callbacks and how it felt like a hellish road trip through everything that brough these two legacy characters to this point, digging up even the oldest of old foes

The main seven are solid, more so now as I get older and can appreciate them all for what they brough to the table, however the changes in characterizations for the legacy characters is… something else

I liked a lot of the minor gods and villains, despite Cupid’s role in the story, he was fantastic. I liked the exploration into both wider known Greek myths, like Narcisus and Heracles, and myths you’d definitely have to google, and the exploration outside the US

But regardless of what the actual plan was, it doesn’t feel like there was a plan, and a lot of that comes down to the plot and the complete lack of a thematic throughline. There was so much plot, that there was just no time for theme.

What I mean by this is that a message really front and center in PJO was the neglect of the gods and how they became their own self-fulfilling prophecy, by treating their kids like tools and toys, they can’t be surprised when the actual human children wake up to their neglect and attempt to do something about it, and that whole story was anchored by the different paths of Luke and Percy—Luke is what could have happened to Percy, whether by not having a slightly-less-shitty god for a dad, or having a mom who wasn’t cursed by the Oracle.

Fully admit that my memory of HOO is less than stellar because I haven’t read it nearly as much, but there was no Luke of that series, there was just Gaea and a couple secondary villains like Octavian, who is not nearly present enough or significant enough to be more than an obstacle. Kronos did a whole lot of nothing for the entire series until the final book, just whispers and threats and moving pieces around his chessboard, but his proxy was Luke. Luke was a personal, meaningful villain to Percy, Annabeth, Grover, Thalia, the Camp as a whole. He wasn’t just some guy. Gaea didn’t have a proxy—she had the giants and little short-lived minions, but none of those gave personal stakes to the story. If, say, something catastrophic had happened and Jason became the New Luke for the same damn reason—didn’t have anywhere else to turn and thought a world without the gods would be better than this—after spending a whole book getting to like him, maybe?

Obviously a big difference is the pacing, but I won’t fault it for the attempt at telling one huge, months-spanning story. Making a bold choice like that and seeing what sticks was always going to be interesting, but doing so did sacrifice seeing these new characters grow over five years like we did with Percy, and then having to share page time with multiple POVS, and not showing up at all for an entire book, either in TLH or SON. Not only was it less time with the former protagonist, but on top of all this plot, we’re having to race through it with a majority of new faces.

Another thing is the very intentional meta rivalry between the Greeks and the Romans. When I was a kid people hated Jason. We got incredibly protective of Percy and didn’t like Jason creeping in on Percy’s spotlight, this dude who we’ve never met and are simply told “he’s the Roman version of Percy but slightly better” and yet the book reinforces that idea constantly. In SON, I can’t pull specific page examples, but the Roman condescension of CHB’s way of life—like the campers being split by godly parent—isn’t just a condemnation of their ancient enemy, it also mocks the older books themselves, like “oh, you thought this was cool? Well you’re supposed to hate it now”. In MOA, literally, on the front cover, is the repeated skirmishes between Percy and Jason, once again asking readers to pick sides instead of thinking of these two as a team. If Jason really is Percy But Better, contrived fistfights never would have happened because they’d respect the fuck out of each other—and they didn’t happen organically for that reason. They had to be possessed and brainwashed. For…tension?

But I think the treatment and the arcs of the legacy characters, Percy, Annabeth, and Nico [no footage found for Grover], is the most confusing decision. I really don’t know what was going through their heads when they decided not to give a single POV to Percy, the sole narrator of five years of books, to the (presumed at the time) last book we’d ever see him in. So many choices with his characterization, too from MOA on, like the lack of meaningful reaction to Calypso, or Nico randomly getting kidnapped, to just… just the whole climactic nosebleed in BOO. He just became a caricature of himself, popping up to throw out a Persassy one-liner or getting weirdly jealous of Frank for being able to shape-shift. One of the only lines I remember clear as day from him, probably because it was a quip and not anything with substance, is “I can’t drown and neither can my pancakes.” If this isn’t his first line in BOO, I do remember waiting like, 60 pages to hear this boy speak. He was at his best in a return to form in HOO, and man was that a fall from grace from the last chapter of HOO to the first chapter of BOO.

Annabeth… is Annabeth. Ironically it was because her character didn’t change that makes it worse. I only recently had the “she actually is hell abusive” revelation, but beyond that, I know there are fierce defenders of her not being useless, but she… kind of is? Not in the vein of her not having combat powers, and I know she has her role with the Parthenos, but so much of her skill overlaps with or is overshadowed by Percy (he's incredibly clever and saves them at least half the time, and is a perfectly servicable strategist and tactician who, when he doesn't know something, consults his friends), and always has been. She’s the only character whose fatal flaw bites them in the ass without them even realizing it, more than once. Percy’s loyalty sees him drop with her into Tartarus, but it’s Annabeth’s hubris that got them into that situation. I will always appreciate a character who has to be clever because they aren’t strong, but she is also abusive and arrogant and instead of trying to exercise her fatal flaw, she keeps it in her corner like it justifies her every decision.

Nico. I do have more to say about him than the “lone queer character forced out of the closet at gunpoint in a shocking twist reveal” trope but I still, to this day, am confused about what the heck he was doing for two books only to suddenly get kidnapped by giants because the plot demanded it. “Oh we have to rescue Nico he’s suffocating in a jar with pomegranate seeds as his only lifeline.” Why couldn’t we see that battle? It feels like he only showed up as the “Ambassador of Pluto” so audiences could do the DiCaprio pointing meme, sometimes. But of course, the Cupid scene, and how Nico’s entire character is now and forever more defined by his sexuality and the traumas associated with it. Loved the scene for the tension, hated it for what it did to his character.

A few other legacy characters did pop up, like Thalia, but I don’t remember her role well enough to properly comment on it in this post. All I remember is Phoebe getting killed rather suddenly and graphically.

And then the whole “at least one of you is going to die” bait and switch, which could be a whole post on its own. For a series that was supposed to be darker and more adult, more for teenagers than the YA audience, for a book that got as dark as HOO did with everything in Tartarus, to then completely wimp out on the promised major character death on a technicality was definitely. A choice. That was made.

Look I don’t hate these books, I just feel mostly apathetic toward them and I think that’s worse. I don’t need every story I read or watch to have a moral and a message, but when the moral and message was so strong in PJO, to have just nothing to say for a series with a 50% longer wordcount was a letdown. We have to stop Gaea because the world will end. Yeah, okay, we know you’ll do that.

When you have stakes like the end of the world in a fantasy setting, the tension rarely comes from “are they gonna let the world end,” but from what the cost of preventing catastrophe will be. We knew in the back of our minds in PJO that Kronos wasn’t going to win, but TLO opened with a kid blowing himself up in what amounted to a vain effort to end the war early, who’s death haunted his surviving girlfriend so much, she then also died trying to redeem herself for her role in getting him killed. The cost of stopping Kronos was the possibly-avoidable death of a teenager who, at the last second, woke up to his grooming and gaslighting and killed himself to kill the villain.

If I’m not mistaken, BOO opened with Jason in cosplay and he and Piper on yet another fetch quest. Leo technically did die, but he didn't stay that way for long, and the climax was so confusing that I don't recall even being upset about him dying.

I might not remember the story very well, but I do remember this confusing uncertainty while reading BOO for the first time just… waiting for it to get good. The only thing I was holding out on by the halfway mark was somebody important dying to stop this, to make any of this matter. And that did not happen. Considering how manipulative the cliff-hangers were, I wouldn’t be surprised if “oooo somebody gonna die” was just a carrot on a stick to keep readers’ attention to the end.

PJO, what did it all mean? The tragedy of child heroes and the consequences of neglectful parenting, the lives it ruins and the means hurt people turn to just to get the respect and attention they were robbed of by their parents and those who were supposed to care about them.

HOO, what did it all mean? I guess… when the world’s at stake even the oldest of foes can set their grudges aside for the greater good? Even though the main seven weren’t foes, or rivals, and the big climactic Greeks vs Romans battle was kind of background fodder for the grand plan of singing Gaea a lullaby.

Not awful books by any means, but books that were full of bizarre choices in everything from characterization to pacing to conflict both internal and external and a lacking throughline of meaningful tension without a decent, meaningful villain.

[chaikachi]

Speaking about tension and conflict to build romance:

Bumbleby's conflict was Adam stalking Blake,and Yang upset by her leaving because Blake was scared,but gradually more relieved as she proved that she would always stayed by her side and fight together

Renora's conflict was Ren being stubborn and almost risking his life to a grimm that killed both his parents and Nora stopping him,leading them to a better strategy attack

~

We already saw Oscar suggesting Ruby to tell Ironwood the truth,maybe Oscar will struggle to 'share her burden' because she's like her sister and doesn't like being vulnerable? Or maybe it will be about the merge and we'll have a parallel to Blake in V1 talking about "the man with two souls fighting for control" ?

Of the main three ships, they all had a big tension and conflict leading up to V8, and then had a secondary one just by virtue of the separation in Atlas.

Yes BB's conflict was Adam plus Blake running away while Renora's was Ren's tunnel vision in v4... but then in V8 Yang is worried that Blake thinks less of her for prioritizing Mantle over Amity. And Ren and Nora are having a conflict of ideals AND miscommunication.

For Rosegarden, their conflict started with not agreeing on how to handle Ironwood and then became stretched out by ending up on opposite teams while Atlas was falling. The difference between RG and the other ships is that eVERYONE ELSE GOT TO STAY REUNITED AT THE END OF V8, BUT RG DIDN'T. 😭😭😭

I have a feeling the rest of their conflict in the Vacuo arc is going to have multiple layers and be very personal to their individual characters. For starters, there's a matter of how to sort out leadership. Ruby used to be head of the team and became the symbol of hope for All of Remnant after her broadcast... but in her absence, Oscar will have stepped up to the plate in her place. There's going to be some fumbling to get them back on the same page again to a point where they are properly sharing the weight of their burdens together.

Then we know that Oscar probably thinks she died! :'D Which, in tandem with his attachment, admiration, and protectiveness of her in the past, sets him up perfectly to not want to lose her again. Be that struggling with sticking too close, keeping his distance from not wanting to get too attached again (too bad boy, you can't run from this), or a mix of both... it's anyone's guess how he'll handle it.

We also know, thanks to Neo, just how important Oscar is to Ruby and that the thought of losing him is something she literally could not handle. So there is almost certainly going to be a mutual protectiveness going on there. they can have a LITTLE codependency, as a treat. /lh

We also have VERY SOLID SETUPS for their individual character arcs mirroring each other so strongly. And it's impossible for those themes to not be explored at this point.

From their very introductions, they both address each other's core conflicts with their first words to each other.

Oscar: Woah, you... have silver eyes.

Silver eyes being symbolic of her burden as Salem's adversary and the mirror that reflects humanity's hope back onto darkness.

Ruby: Who... are you?

Oscar being the next (and likely final) Ozcarnation who's entire character arc is a struggle of identity.

Oscar's "I always knew I wanted to be more than a farmhand... but this? Who would ask for this?" to Ruby's "I wanted to be the hero, like the stories that my mom read to me."

Oscar's "I thought the idea of falling through Remnant into a new world was... exciting. I never understood why she was so sad when she finally made it back home." to Ruby's "I don't want to be me anymore."

Ruby's "What if you could be anyone?" to Oscar's "I'm just going to be another one of his lives, aren't I?"

god the way they've written this story... i sincerely don't understand how people can watch ALL of this, all the moments i didn't mention cause i'm too lazy to turn this thread into another essay, and still say they don't see it. 😭

however their conflict is handled, i know i'm going to be very not normal about it every step of the way and i'm so freaking excited

[themanwiththeplan05]

Do any of y'all remember my Magical AU for H*R? No? Well too bad, here's a post about it.

I'm talking about The Cheat, just like I promised last time. If you don't care, good news! Reading is optional! Read more after the image.

For those uninterested, rock on! \__/,

Okay, you've taken the plunge. Here goes nothing.

The Cheat is actually a familiar! Like Strong Sad, he also has a shadow form that he can freely switch between, but unlike SS he has no qualms about doing so in front of other people. On a similar note, he also does not go through any major personality changes when he switches, and is always in a state of at least semi-permiability (which is why his bottom portion sinks into the ground).

As a familiar, The Cheat is naturally much more animal-like than the other residents of Free Country. However, through the long-term exposure of FC's particular brand of strangeness, he's actually much more cognitively aware of things to such a degree that he can hold his own in any kind of conversation.

Main Ability: Semi-Permiability (permanent)

Secondary Abilities: Common Speech, Astral Projection, Item Transfer (linked to Main Ability)

Shadow Version:

The main difference between the mainline universe version of The Cheat and EXPMAU TC is in regards to his role in The Brothers Strong's lives. Since (spoilers) they all got sent to FC when they were fairly young, TC had no choice but to act as a sort of surrogate parent/guard dog, meaning he's naturally more protective over them (especially SM). Funnily enough, this nature has only really grown over the years, meaning that he can be unreasonably wary of new things. He will still leap in front of The Brothers to protect them, despite the fact that all of them can hold their own with ease.

His shadow form has glowing spots, which are relatively strong as light sources. He can control their strength at will, and turns them off when he sleeps. He usually takes this form for energy conservation, when he feels safe, for speedy travel, and whenever he wants to prank someone by popping back up into his normal form.

Main Ability: Shadow Manipulation

Oh, and as a side note, only Strong Mad knows who actually summoned The Cheat. And it wasn't him.

That's it! Have a good day, and tune in next time when I finally make a master post for all this junk!

[gryfflepuffinthetardis]

Gryfflepuff in the Tardis' Masterlist

All my Works, characters are colored by which Hogwarts House I think they're in. I am a Primary Hufflepuff, Secondary Gryffindor and I genuinely think Hufflepuff is the best and most underrated house. (Since Tumble removed the yellow color, Orange will represent Hufflepuff, except in the condition of Good Omens' Crowley who I am stuck between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. If you disagree, please give me your best argument and I'll offer my insight of David Tennant's Crowley.

I don't do reblogs, just because I feel that when you're searching through the posts, the reblogs clutter up the blog and get mixed with original posts but I am willing to do fan fic recommendations if requested.

You can call me either Gryfflepuff or the Eccedentiast (Not to sound by Lemony Snicket but "a word that means 'someone who hides their pain and tears and sadness behind a smile'.").

Ninth Doctor - Brooding Time Lord Who Tries To Hide His Light with Darkness

Supernova Series/Season One Masterlist (Ninth Doctor/Tenth Doctor) (Delilah "Lillie" Tyler/Princess Supernova played by Katherine Langford)

Tenth Doctor - Hyperactive Time Lord Who Is Always Being Slapped Born From His Love For a Human Who Tries To Hide His Darkness and Trauma With Light

Campbell Bain - Bipolar Nineteen-Year-Old Walking Ray of Sunshine That Somehow Doesn't Do Well With Girls

Sweet Jane Masterlist (19-year-old Campbell Bain x 18-year-old Traumatized Reader)

Metacrisis Doctor/TenToo (My Headcanon is that he chose the surname "Noble")

Fourteenth Doctor - The Face That Returned, now arguably more Hyperactive and Traumatized

Alec Hardy (Broadchurch) - Grumpy and Broody Scottish Detective With a Heart Condition yet a Heart of Gold (Doesn't Know He's a DILF)

Emmet Carver (Gracepoint) - The American Version of Alec

Crowley (Good Omens) - A Hyperactive Drama Queen "Vaguely Sauntered Downward" Angel Turned Only Demon with an Imagination

Barty Crouch Junior - The (Possibly Bipolar) Misunderstood Boy Who Never Got His Father's Love and Was Manipulated By Voldemort (I think I read that he was actually a Ravenclaw but I do see a lot of Hufflepuff in him, his insistence of a fair fight and honesty and loyalty)

Peter Vincent (Fright Night) - Hyperactive Alcoholic Magician/Vampire Hunter with a Heart of Gold

Dave Tiler (Single Dad) — The sweetheart dad with too many children with so much love in his heart who fate was so cruel to.

Kilgrave (I've never seen Jessica Jones, I just feel like with him having the same accent and looks the same, it might ruin David Tennant's Doctor for me, and I love David Tennant as the Doctor.)

Cale Erendreich (Bad Samarian; Haven't Seen This Either)

--

Steve Harrington (Stranger Things) - The Hair; Nomenee for Mother of the Year

Embers In the Sky (Domnique "Nico" Henderson played Georgie Henley; Alex Henderson played by David Tennant)

Killer Queen (Cassandra "Cassie Dare" Henderson played by Zoey Deutch; Pan Henderson played by David Tennant)

Trauma (Emilie Henderson played by Hailee Steinfeld)

Devil Town (Imogen Henderson played by Katherine Langford)

Isaac Lahey (Teen Wolf) - The Abused Puppy With a Heart of Gold Who Only Wanted the Power to Defend Himself and To Not Be Scared

Embers in the Sky Season One (Milo Stilinski played by Katherine Langford)

Embers in the Sky Season Two

Embers in the Sky Season Three

Embers in the Sky Season Four

Embers in the Sky Season Five

Embers in the Sky Season Six

Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds) - The Genius Pretty Boy

(I have created so many ideas for the initial character, Zoe that I may have to split them up among Spencer Reid main character love interests and because of more complicated reasons I will explain in Valentía)

Valentía (Zoe Noble-Valdez played by Selena Gomez)

Valentía Season Masterlist

Valentía Season One

Braveheart (Isobel Noble played by Karen Gillan) (*This is a different character completely from Isobel Noble the aunt of Zoe Noble-Valdez in Valentía.*)

Born Profiler (OFC Played by Katherine Langford)

Raymond Wadsworth

Chip Taylor (68 Kill)

The Black Sheep (Work in Progress; Coming Soon) (Chip Taylor x Reader; Liza and Dwayne's sister)

Kyle Orfman

Brother's Best Friend (Work in Progress; Coming Soon) (Kyle Orfan x Reader; Zach Orfman's Best Friend)

Lesley Juniment-Smith

Thornton "Thorn" Adams (King Knight)

Joe Harper (The Band of Robbers)

--

Fred Weasley

(All of these are Potter!sister!OCs, most of them are of Harry Potter's twin sister)

The Girl Who Lived (Sadie Sink as OC) (Need of a rewrite. Her name was Violet but since then my cousin had a baby daughter who he named Violet so I'm changing this character's name. I just can't write original characters with names of people I know. It's a rule of mine.)

North Star/Falling Star (Metamorphmagus!Cassiopea Potter played by Katherine Langford) (May change the name to Vega Potter)

The Twins Who Lived (Georgie Henley as Currently Unnamed OC)

Embers in the Sky (Emberly "Ember" Potter Played by Caitlin Blackwood/Karen Gillan) She is also the face claim I maintain of Lily Evans/Potter. (Caitlin Blackwood played young Amelia Pond in Doctor Who and is Karen Gillan's real life cousin.)

Yes, there are a lot of David Tennant characters. I don't want to write for the actor himself, I just feel a little creepy doing that. In my numerous Steve Harrington fics, the more recent ones (The OC is always Dustin's older sister, except in one) I think he is the best Doctor and I think he should officially be titled as the biggest Doctor Who Fan ever. (He became an actor because of Doctor Who, he says he thinks he underplays how much he loved Doctor Who, he became the first regenerated Doctor and the first one to last more than one season on the revived Doctor Who, he met his future father-in-law, like a year before he met his wife, Ty Tennant, Georgia's oldest son and David's now adopted son, in 2008, considered the Tenth to be his favorite, and hilariously, his grandfather was nowhere on the five-year-old's list--then David Tennant met Georgia (at the time) Moffat on the set of Doctor Who as she, the daughter of the Fifth Doctor, played the daughter of the Tenth Doctor, I heard that David Tennant met Ty on the set, and according the Peter Davidson, Georgia didn't even realize that he liked her when they started going out (apparently he was offended when she said she hadn't seen any Shakespeare), then David Tennant counts as the unofficial twelfth regeneration (there was the War Doctor who the Doctors deem as not worthy of having the name of the Doctor), then he adopted Ty Tennant and married Georgia; he returned for the 50th and 60th anniversary (and I hope he never stops returning), now is the Fourteenth Doctor, that's three official regenerations, and Good Omens is full of Doctor Who references. I don't think anyone can beat him for the biggest Doctor Who fan. His life like revolves around Doctor Who in a way that every fanboy/fangirl dreams of.

I have created an OC to be the Henderson!OC and Dustin's father and I always choose David Tennant, he just really gives off protective I-will-kill-anyone-who-hurts-you dad vibe and I have a soft spot for an overprotective dad for his daughter (I never had that. My dad wanted a boy--granted the disapproval that's implied is possibly because my mom told me this--and he is ADHD and was always sleeping and then he moved two towns over which was an hour's drive but seemed longer in my ADHD mind but so he could sleep and I could play video games on the Xbox that's memory wouldn't save the game so I continuously had to start over. Oh, and also, there's the fact that a TV fell on me when I was five/six because I didn't understand gravity and I locked myself in the dryer when I was seven/eight. What, is that not normal? 🙄) I'm not a big crier but a father that's willing to do anything for his daughter is your best bet. Sorry for this rant.

*(Can't pinpoint what house Alec Hardy and therefore Emmet Carver would be in, the only blog I've found on it, discussed how he may be a burnt Hufflepuff (just google it, it'll send you to the tumble immediately) but hiscusses his desperation in season two suggests Gryffindor, also implying his ignoring of his heart condition but he's aware that he has it, so he's gone to the hospital and he takes pills, he's just aware that the doctors told him that he may not survive his surgery to have the pacemaker put in and he feels like he owes it to the families to get the closure they deserve, so it doesn't strike me as impulsive but more dedicated, determined, and "unafraid of toil". Then the blog argues that his need to protect people he views as in his care and how he related to the Sandbrooke case as Slytherin but I don't see that. I think perhaps a "Burned Hufflepuff" is accurate.*

[2manythoughtz]

Reasons Why Nate Is The Most Misunderstood Character Of Euphoria

Nate is probably the most misunderstood character of all the series, people both adore and hate him, but why is that?

When you think of Euphoria the first characters that come to mind are Rue, Jules, Maddy and Cassie. While they’re all very well-defined characters, I think we can all agree that Euphoria is great at leaving a cloud of mystery around these people. So, while you take in their backstories and see what they’re up to, you might question their actions and their reasoning since they don’t exactly show you everything you want to know.

While plot holes and mischaracterization aren’t new to fans, what seem like small mistakes when talking about the main characters can later become big trouble for other secondary characters like Nate.

To refresh your mind, Nate is the youngest son of a very important and wealthy family, his great looks and athleticism made him one of the most popular kids in school. He’s the usual asshole jock you can find in any kind of movie, only in Euphoria you can see so many different shades of him that you end up confused and you don’t know what type of person he is.

Why is he so misunderstood in the series?

As I said earlier, he is your typical jock. He’s a douche who plays football, gets the girl, throws wild parties and is overall a pretty bad person. That is until we see his backstory and realize that something is wrong.

1. Sexuality

I’m gonna stop on this point for a while because I feel like no one ever cared/understood what was going on. Ever since we got our first look at Nate’s backstory, during episode 2 of season 1 “Stuntin like my daddy”, I think people have entirely misunderstood his character based on his sexuality.

As we get to see, his psyche is very dark and twisted because of his father’s influence from a very young age, though it was indirect it didn’t stop him from getting this obsession with sex. We can see this through his whole relationship with Maddy which is very sexual and almost obsessive, which to me feels like kind of an anchor to his heterosexuality. But that doesn’t mean that he is homosexual, differently from what everyone in the series seems to think as soon as they find out that he has dick pics on his phone.

So what is he? Truth is, it doesn’t really matter? I don’t think people should concentrate on the right label as the show is good at portraying the fact that sexuality is fluid. If you think about Rue, everyone was so quick to accept her and her relationship just because she’s the protagonist, Jules also gets acclaimed for her initial confusion but Nate gets immediately ridiculed and seen as this weird boy.

Another thing that I see a lot of people talking about is his obsession with Jules in the first season, which to me doesn’t sound like a romantic interest at all and it just goes so far as for the sexual part. They’ve only shared nudes and Nate was no stranger to receiving nudes from other people, both men and women apparently, so there was never something special between them. Yes, they texted a lot and he seemed genuine in getting to know her, but let’s all remember that it all started because Nate knew Jules had hooked up with his father and wanted to protect his family’s name.

I really like how in the first season no one really talks about his preferences that much because we’re all focused on his toxic side after he attacked Maddy.

The second season was a hot mess, that is no secret. I’m not surprised he went for Cassie, if you think about it really hard it makes sense. She is everything he liked and everything Maddy wasn’t. At least at first, in the end, we’re left with a lot of questions after the school play which makes fun of Nate being gay for no apparent reason. We’re left with this curiosity, is Nate really gay and hiding his preferences because that’s what he’s been taught? Or is he simply confused and still trying to understand himself?

2. Trauma

As much as everyone hates Nate’s ways, we must remember that everything happens for a reason. In his case, Nate’s father is the real reason behind his behavior. This is in no way a reason to excuse what he did in the series nor justify him, just trying to understand the reasoning behind his character.

Euphoria has done an incredible job of showing the different traumas that affected most of the main characters, it’s amazing to see how their childhoods impacted their teenage years regardless of how serious you think their problems might be. In this sense, Nate’s childhood is very well described.

Not only he had an emotionally absent father, but he’s only seen his dad being obsessed with having the perfect family while hiding away every flaw they might have. Nate is born with this unexplained anger inside of him that we later find out is passed down by his father, that alone makes it hard for him to grow up without anyone ever noticing it.

The rest of his family is messed up as well, but the father is the real reason for how he behaves. Nate finds out about his father’s sexuality through the recordings of his random hookups with gay men and trans women, this significantly impacts little Nate’s mentality.

Not only does he learn that his father is cheating on his mother, but he also tries to hide his preferences meaning that they’re wrong. Of course, we know that that is not the case, but everything is very well explained in season 2 when we see Cal Jacobs in his teen years having difficulties with his sexuality as well, but that’s another topic to look into.

Nate’s constant obsessive behavior is just a replica of his father’s desperate tentative to have a perfect family while hiding himself. One of the main reasons why I don’t think Nate is necessarily gay is that he is never shown to have a genuine interest in men romantically speaking, just trying to fill his father’s shoes.

3. Toxic Relationships

As I said before, he is in a very toxic relationship with Maddy in season 1 and in yet another toxic relationship with Cassie in season 2. That definitely goes to define his view of love and relationships, not only that but his only example of a regular couple is his parents who barely talk to each other.

Maddy can be labeled as his first love, he goes as far as saying that he would kill for her. But it is also shown that they argue a lot and have many differences that cause them to yell at each other and become physical and that only goes to reinforce his idea that with love comes anger and it’s ok as long as it’s not out there for everybody to see.

That is shown when Nate reacts violently to Maddy insulting him in front of his family and everybody standing there. But when faced with the question about his sexuality he breaks down because he doesn’t know what acceptance is, he feels like he has failed.

With Cassie everything seems to be perfect, she’s gentle and delicate and he thinks she would be perfect to be his future wife. But as their relationship develops, we can see that he quickly regrets his decision once he sees just how broken she is. She’s perfect on the outside but she may be worse than Maddy on the inside and I believe that will definitely shape his view of relationships in the future and he’ll think twice before getting with anyone.

This can also be proved by the fact that even if he and Maddy broke up, they kept meeting up and acting like a couple, even when he was with Cassie. To me, this shows that he’s not comfortable getting with new people and would rather stay with the old toxic ones.

As I said earlier, Nate seemed genuine in talking to Jules even if he wasn’t honest with her. When she finds out that the boy she has fallen for is none other than the school’s jock she is disappointed and scared which is understandable from our point of view, but I think that left Nate bittersweet. He knew he was blackmailing her but from his point of view as long as she kept quiet he wasn’t going to do anything to her, what might’ve developed into a friendship became a hate relationship.

Going into seasons 1 and 2, Nate never tries to hurt Jules again and seems kind of melancholic that they’re not talking anymore. That might be just another way for him to see that he is not fit for friendships with the other sex and keep his view of women as these objects for his pleasure and status.

4. Self-esteem issues

Throughout the series, we can see that Nate is not this big confident jock as everyone think he is. In fact, he is very self-conscious about himself in every way. We can get a first glimpse of this in the second episode of season 1.

Nate has been working out ever since he was a child to get the perfect body, he is ashamed of his insecurities and tends to hide from others. He doesn’t like changing with his teammates in the locker room, he doesn’t feel comfortable having people around him and he needs to be in control of the situation and also everyone close to him.

His sexuality of course is his number one insecurity, he doesn’t know how to hide it so he tries his best to focus on finding the perfect girl. As I anticipated before, his relationship with Maddy feels like an excuse to feel and show his heterosexuality even though we know he isn’t. As soon as that facade is over he doesn’t seem to care about anything, not Maddy, not Cassie and definitely not Jules.

His aggression, his jealousy and his need to protect those he cares about all come from the fact that he is insecure, he fears they will leave him and he’ll lose the only people he actually accepts. At the end of the day, he is still a teenager and feels just like most teenagers which is something I feel like most people completely forget and see him just as this grown asshole that only cares about himself.

In conclusion, while Nate is probably the most hated character in the series, he is so complex and has a lot of potential, it’s a shame that it was wasted in the end. There is so much more to say about him that I think was completely missed throughout the second season. There is so much people want to know about Nate’s future, is he going to hide all his life and play pretend like his father? Or will he break the cycle and finally be himself?

What do you think? Feel free to join the discussion with your personal thoughts! Do you agree? Do you disagree? Let me know!

[viola-ophelia]

in defense of thranduil

hello! so you know how i occasionally do “in defense of” meta posts about unpopular characters ( X X X ) ? well, i’ve been thinking for a while about doing one for thranduil, but i wasn’t quite sure how to go about it since tbh, i don’t think anyone could call thranduil unpopular. his ao3 tag is very well-populated, and, ahem, a good portion of it is smut lol. he even has a ton of “x reader” stuff about him on tumblr, which to me is usually the hallmark of a popular character. but i’ve felt the urge to defend him anyway, and i think it’s because... well. i do think a character can be both popular and misunderstood, and for all the thranduil enthusiasm i’ve seen, i’ve seen just as much thranduil hate and criticism, so clearly something about him has people at odds. specifically, a lot of people seem to think he’s a bad dad, and/or that the peter jackson movies totally butchered his character, which is really interesting to me because i actually believe neither. so i’m going to try to illustrate why! i’ll be primarily discussing movie-verse thranduil in this post, with a few references to the books as a secondary source. so without further ado, here is why i think thranduil is A Good Dad Actually, and the movies are not a “butchering” of but a compelling darker/grittier spin on a character who - since he exists in tolkien’s written works only in a book for children and in the margins of a sprawling and very bloody history - only really works if you reconcile those two things. 

under a cut because as always, this is LONG!

let’s first talk about what seems to be people’s main grievance with movie-verse thranduil: the fact that he’s “turned into this greedy character whose only motive is getting back those gems” when that’s not what he’s like in the book. while it’s definitely true that there are a few key differences between book thranduil and movie thranduil, i actually don’t think that the two versions are so incongruous with each other. the areas where they differ, i think, flesh out movie thranduil into a character who compels beyond his simplified, kid-friendly presentation in the hobbit book and who makes sense within the larger historical context of his world. it’s true that the elvenking in the hobbit isn’t explicitly interested in material gain. he mainly seems to get involved in the battle of the five armies to help out bard, since mirkwood is allied with laketown. and there’s also no mention in the book of the elvenking having lost his wife, even though that’s a key part of his backstory in the hobbit movies. in the movies, those gems that he’s so interested in getting back from the dwarves are actually a necklace that belonged to his wife before she died. he’s still motivated by wanting to help laketown - which is why he shows up before the battle with wagons of food and supplies for the starving people - but he’s also motivated by grief - something deeply personal that none of the other characters (except gandalf, because gandalf knows everything lol) are even aware of, and this, i feel, gives depth to his character. 

the thing is, thranduil seems greedy because none of the other characters know of, and thus inherently cannot understand, his real reason for pursuing the gems. and it’s true - at face value, it doesn’t make sense why he’d seemingly put his people at risk for a random necklace. a pretty harsh reading of thranduil’s motives could even align him with thorin’s dragon-sickness. but remember how the battle of the five armies started? thranduil and bard pulled up with their forces thinking it was gonna be all of them against twelve dwarves and a hobbit lol. they probably thought there’d be no casualties and it’d be over in twenty minutes! they had no way of knowing how many other forces were going to get involved. and when thranduil does see the first elves laying dead on the ground, he tries to draw out. he never wanted to spend his people’s lives like that. he realizes he had been blinded by his grief for his wife and had acted selfishly - and personally, i like this a lot better than the book’s sort of handwave-y explanation for why the elvenking is even bothering to involve himself and his kingdom in the (petty, by his standards) affairs of dwarves and men. because... movie thranduil is not just Like That for no reason. he has a whole history, going wayyy beyond his wife’s death even, that makes him the way he is - and that is what is so satisfying about his portrayal in the movies, because it actually attempts to acknowledge that deeper context. 

we have to remember that thranduil, at least in comparison to pretty much every other character in the hobbit, is old as hell. he reminds us of this multiple times in the movies: “a hundred years is a mere blink in the life of an elf. i can wait.” for a character who presumably shouldn’t need to worry or think about death, he’s unusually fixated on his own immortality in the movies, a trait that is missing from the books. and while i do get why some readers are charmed by the idea of an elf who doesn’t seem to perceive himself very differently than the men and dwarves he’s surrounded by, i’m a lot more drawn in by the idea of an elf who just can’t forget about how different he is. because if you actually think about where thranduil fits into the bigger history of middle-earth, it’s sort of hard to turn the page back from this darker, more scarred side to him - because yeah, he might live forever if he avoids conflict, but he also knows death in a way that someone like bilbo baggins would not even be able to conceptualize. thranduil was born in doriath in the first age, making him old enough to likely have been involved in not one but two kinslayings against his people. we know nothing about his mother, making it likelier than not that she was lost in one of them when he was still a child. his father, oropher, the original elvenking of the greenwood, was killed in the battle of dagorlad in the second age - the “last stand” of elves against sauron. thranduil, fighting alongside him and the silvan elves, had to watch his father die and then be crowned as the new king right then and there. (also, oropher died in the very first charge of the battle, which then continued on for months. imagine how hard it’d have been to stave off that creeping hopelessness.) and finally, thranduil’s wife was killed in battle at some point not long after their son was born. thranduil’s dragon fire scar on his face is an invention of the movies, and it’s unclear when exactly it happened - at the same battle where he lost his wife? some time earlier? but anyways. i’ve been going on and on about his life for a reason, and that reason is Thranduil Has Seen A Lot Of Shit. it’s easy to look at him in the movies and critique him - why is he so cold? why is he an isolationist ruler when in the books he’s more welcoming (after initially chucking the dwarves in jail, lol)? but the hobbit isn’t really thranduil’s story, so exposing all of this context in the movies wouldn’t have made much sense, would it. and i actually like that there are some gaps, because that’s what makes him so interesting. no one knows his history, and why should they? when it comes down to it, thranduil is just a side character in someone else’s adventure. 

the last thing that i really want to address is thranduil’s relationship with legolas, his son - partly to refute the idea that he’s a bad dad, but also partly to talk about how despite all the griping that i’ve seen about how stupid it was to “randomly” insert legolas into the hobbit movies, it actually made so much sense for both of their characters. obviously, while it’s confirmed elsewhere that thranduil/the elvenking is legolas’s dad, legolas is not actually in the hobbit book. but this, i think, is more so to do with the fact that tolkien wrote the lord of the rings (and invented legolas’s character) after he wrote the hobbit, and less so to do with the idea that legolas is inherently “irrelevant” to the story of the hobbit. because if legolas is irrelevant to the hobbit, then is he irrelevant to thranduil? i really don’t think so, because even though tolkien gave us no clues as to what their relationship might’ve been like, even the fact that they’re father and son is really important. for thranduil, the fact that he has a son adds dimension not just to who he is in the movies - and yes, we see a fraught side of his dynamic with legolas as he has to reconcile with legolas growing up and wanting a freedom that thranduil with his too-deep understanding of the world’s dangers doesn’t want to give - but also to the concept of his character. thranduil has lost so many people he loved in horrible ways that now legolas is all he has left, and consequentially there’s so much talk about him as an oppressive parent, so paranoid of losing him that he keeps him imprisoned inside the always-closed kingdom gates. but at the end of the hobbit movies, thranduil also gives legolas his blessing to go on the quest to destroy the one ring. when it comes down to it, he is willing to let legolas do what's best for him, even knowing that this could be how he loses him. i know thranduil isn’t a perfect parent, that’s pretty obvious lol. but i don’t see how people watch these movies and their takeaway isn’t that he’s at least trying his best and that he does genuinely love his son. also, look at legolas! legolas is clearly proud of his identity as a wood elf. and he’s happy, he’s caring, he’s adventurous, he’s even pretty wise despite being one of the youngest elves. i don’t exactly see a traumatized victim of horrible parenting in him (and believe me, there is no shortage of victims of terrible parenting in the silmarillion/elsewhere in tolkien’s works) - i see a strong and well-adjusted young adult who wouldn’t hesitate to threaten anyone who spoke ill of his father’s kingdom with his bow lol. 

anyway, if you’ve made it this far through my rambling, i hope you can understand at least part of what i’m trying to say lol. it’s hard, because i have so many things i’m kind of trying to say all at once, but: tl;dr i actually think the hobbit movies did thranduil’s character right, not wrong, and that they do the opposite of proving that he’s a bad dad. :3

[jetwhenitsmidnight]

Skater Boy by Anthony Nerada

Source: Audiobook ARC from NetGalley

Release date: 6 February

Genre: young adult contemporary romance

If you like: queer coming of age, explorations of toxic masculinity, pop-punk, flawed protagonists trying to be better, Sk8ter Boy by Avril Lavigne but gay

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5

Synopsis

Stonebridge High’s resident bad boy, Wesley “Big Mac” Mackenzie, is failing senior year—thanks to his unchecked anger, rowdy friends, and a tendency to ditch his homework for skateboarding and a secret photography obsession. So when his mom drags him to a production of The Nutcracker, Wes isn’t interested at all . . . until he sees Tristan Monroe. Mr. Nutcracker himself.

Wes knows he shouldn’t like Tristan; after all, he’s a ballet dancer, and Wes is as closeted as they come. But when they start spending time together, Wes can’t seem to get Tristan out of his head. Driven by a new sense of purpose, Wes begins to think that—despite every authority figure telling him otherwise—maybe he can change for the better and graduate on time.

As a falling out with his friends becomes inevitable, Wes realizes that being himself means taking a stand—and blowing up the bad-boy reputation he never wanted in the first place.

Content warnings

Explicit language

Bullying

Alcoholism

Underage drinking

Racism (as experienced by a Black love interest)

Past domestic abuse

Childhood trauma

Smoking (cigarettes + weed)

Homophobia

Physical violence

Review

Why'd Wes have to go and make things so complicated 😔🤘

I hadn't expected to, but I found myself relating to Wes quite a bit. His experience of being labelled as a bad kid, and then only being seen as such without being given the chance to break that expectation, as well as his feelings of anger and fear and powerlessness, that no one wants to listen to him, that he can't open up to people, that he's inferior and will never amount to anything, took me right back to primary and secondary school lmao. (I'm so glad I'm not a teenager anymore.)

I also empathise with how awkward Wes feels around Tristan, or when he's trying to talk to people who aren't his friends; not knowing the right thing to say, or when he says something that comes off as angrier or meaner than he intends—that's literally me, baby!

A part I don't relate to is the bullying. Wes is like, a legit bully, like pushing kids into the lockers like in american high school movies kind of bully. While he's not the main aggressor among his friends, it still kind of hurt to read about how he hurt people in the past. I liked how his character arc developed, with him facing up to his actions and apologising to his victims, although I do think he was forgiven pretty easily; I personally would have held a grudge until I died, but good for them!

At the start of the book I was worried that this would be a whole "find a bf and magically all your problems are fixed!" kind of story, but while Tristan is definitely a motivating factor for Wes to improve himself, I really appreciate that Wes was the one who decided to take initiative and begin the first steps to becoming better.

There's layers of complexity to Wes and Tristan's relationship, because (a) Tristan is Black, and so deals with racism that Wes could never understand, (b) Tristan is out and Wes is not, (c) Tristan is a perfectionist and has a goal and life plans, while Wes is flunking high school with no plans to apply for college, (d) Wes had an abusive childhood, and Tristan has loving supportive parents, and (e) Wes is poor and Tristan is wealthy.

These are a lot of issues to handle in one book, and while I feel like the author does a good job discussing and resolving most of these elements, there's one point that I feel didn't get fully resolved, and that's the wealth disparity between them. Wes is super aware of this, he constantly notices the differences between the way they live, which makes him feel self-conscious around Tristan.

Spoiler warning, but at one point Tristan dresses Wes up in like a pricey cardigan and a polo shirt to meet his parents, and later Wes is furious and leaves early because he feels out of place and insecure, and that Tristan is trying to change who he is. Later, they talk and Wes comes to the conclusion that he was over-reacting, which, yeah, he was. But Tristan never apologises and is like "you know I would never have made you change your clothes if I knew it would make you feel bad!" He also makes fun of one of Wes's friends, and Wes wonders if part of the reason why he doesn't want to introduce Tristan to his friends was because he felt embarrassed.

I feel like this is a pretty big deal, and an obvious source of tension, that doesn't seem to get fully resolved. Most of Wes and Tristan's discussions about their relationship revolve around Wes apologising, but Tristan, even though he never does so intentionally, never apologises for making Wes feel inferior in this aspect.

I also feel that Tristan was kind of one-dimensional. From Wes's perspective, Tristan is perfect and flawless, and he puts him on a pedestal, while Wes is the one messing up. Tristan's only flaw, as far is I can tell, is that he struggles with anxiety, but he never seems to show it to Wes, for all that he encourages Wes to be emotionally vulnerable with him. I would have liked it if Tristan messed-up, or needed Wes to support him or comfort him in some way (Wes does support him, at near the ending, but that doesn't really count), to balance out their relationship a bit, instead of always having Tristan encouraging him, and having Wes mess up and make up for it.

The climax of this book gets really chaotic, huge shit goes down, like life-ruining shit. He manages to work it all out in the end, but I feel that it came way too easily, especially the problems he had with his friends. I feel like it got dismissed as some sort of misunderstanding, like Wes was the one making a big deal out of nothing. Afterwards, he and his friends talk it out very maturely, but where was all that maturity when shit was going down!!

I realise that a lot of my review sounds like I'm complaining, but this is really worth a read! The way this book discusses toxic masculinity, emotional vulnerability, dealing with trauma (because Wes is very clearly traumatised) is so well-done, and you can tell from the author's note that he put a lot of love and thought into this book. I would discuss this more but this review would get very spoilery.

To finish off this review, here are some nitpicks! These are minor details and do not affect the overall story! Some of these are purely personal issues I have that may not apply to other people!

Wes is stated to be a punk, and a lot of this book (the title, the chapter titles, the marketing) is about pop-punk, or scene music in general. But Wes doesn't seem to listen to pop-punk? The only band he mentions listening to is Metallica, which, last I checked, is a metal band. He wears a Linkin Park t-shirt once (huge slay) and mentions the My Chemical Romance reunion (double slay), but that's about it. He seems to be more of a metalhead tbh, which there's nothing wrong with, but I was hoping for more pop-punk references. (This sounds greedy, since almost every chapter title is a pop-punk reference, and I did appreciate that, but I wanted more!!)

I didn't vibe with the audiobook narrator. I'm kind of (very) picky about audiobooks, so the fact that I didn't dnf shows that he did a decent job at least, but I feel like he missed the mark on narrating the dialogue. Sometimes I couldn't tell the difference between Wes's internal narration and when he was actually speaking which was confusing, and the narrator also read everything in this sad, hesitant sort of voice, which works for the overall vibe of the story, but makes the happy, lighthearted moments in the book feel sad as well.

Minor spoiler, Wes's mom got him and his friends tickets to see Metallica, but later they start growing apart and the concert is never mentioned again (unless I somehow missed it?), so its unclear if they did go to the Metallica concert. I need to know if they went, because if they skipped out on it due to their beef, I will be very sad on their behalf.

[kraro-school-life]

i am interested in what a Gymnasium is! i am from the u.s. so we don't have anything really like it.

from my googling, it seems to be like a higher level/more advanced secondary school/high school before university? i am pretty curious. what do students have to do to qualify?

Ok, wow my first ask!! (💖) Thank you so much I hope I can explain it good enough:

A Gymnasium is a type of secondary school, that comes after elementary schol. In Germany, the individual „Bundesländer“ (States ig?) manage the laws for Education, so it’s very different depending on which „state“ you live in. Elementary school is mostly 4-6 years long, and after that you go to secondary school.

There are 3 main types of secondary school, “Hauptschule”, “Realschule”, and “Gymnasium”. (There are of course other options you can take, but these are the most common ones). And the school you get into depends on your average grade the last year of elementary. To explain it simply: it’s worst to best. The children with the best grades get accepted into a Gymnasium, the less good into a Realschule and then Hauptschule.

And that’s the thing about the German Education system. Not to exaggerate, but it’s like your life depends on how well you do in school as a kid as early as 4th grade. Which is fucked. Like how does that make sense?? Most of the students who are in a Gymnasium are expected to go into university, and it’s harder to get in if you only graduated from f.e. a Realschule (which is also shorter btw). Unfortunately, there is also a direct correlation between the amount of money parents are earning and what level education their children get.

You could say it’s sorted by skill, but really, i feel like it’s not. I could rant about the education system in Germany and how it’s just bad, forever (I even went to a convention that talked about it), but it could be worse honestly. It’s not THAT bad.

(Although I say that I go to a gymnasium, it’s a bit different for me personally, because it’s kind of a private school, but mostly the same.)

I hope I could help you out a bit, and I think it great how you want to know more about other systems!! American schools seem so different to me though, the freshman, sophomore thing is kinda confusing to me. I have to inform myself now lol.

(edit: wow this turned into a rant I didn’t intend on writing, hopefully I still answered your question)

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

I think part of why most people I've talked to like Hazbin Hotel better then Helluva Boss, and why most of the writing problems in Helluva aren't as present in Hazbin, are because Hazbin is an ensemble show that treats all it's characters as EQUALLY IMPORTANT, while Helluva Boss is an ensemble show that just. Really wants to be the Blitzø and Stolas show.

Like oh my god that show wants to be about only Blitzø and Stolas so bad. It's why Moxxie gets more focus then Millie(he's closer to Blitzø), it's why the Stolitz drama gets dragged out the way it does, it's why Fizz has been getting more attention then the rest of the supposed main cast lately. Viv and Brandon(who doesn't get brought up very often when discussing the writing in Helluva Boss despite being the main cowriter?) CLEARLY just wanna focus on Blitzø and Stolas' backstories and relationship, despite marketing Helluva as an ensemble show. Moxxie gets some time as an individual, but I think that's more of a biproduct of him being around for longer then the other side characters tbh. Like they were initially concieved FOR Hazbin, and I'm not really sure where production went from there, but I believe they were originally just supposed to be an assassin duo that showed up in Hazbin a couple times? Idk details are fuzzy so if anybody knows more and feels like sharing feel free to rb/comment with your knowledge. Anyways Moxxie has more depth because he's been in development for longer, and as season 2 progresses it really feels like they're running out of shit to talk about with him. Everybody else is secondary to those two, which would be FINE if the show was PRESENTED as being about Stolitz, but it's kinda. Not. The show, especially if your going off of the pilot, is presented more like "the Office but in Hell". That is the concept most people are drawn in by. So when the people who signed up for a funny ensemble show in Hell start watching and end up with just a bunch of relationship drama and some occasional focus on like 1 or 2 other characters, they get confused and put off. It's like trying to watch the Office but getting Bojack Horseman(I think. I don't know much abt BJH-) instead.

Meanwhile Hazbin is advertised as an ensemble show and, so far, has fulfilled that promise. All 4 of the episodes we've gotten so far have focused on different characters and, between them, given an equal amount of focus to everyone except maybe Niffty. Episode 1 had Charlie and Vaggie leading the subplots, episode 2 had weirdly Vox and Sir Pentious as the focuses?, episode 3 was about. Pretty much everyone really but Velvette, Carmilla and Vaggie got especially highlighted because of their songs, and episode 4 was focused entirely on Angel and his relationships with the rest of the cast. Like. That's how ensemble shows are supposed to work. And while Charlie is still the main focus of the show, and I'm sure we'll see her get highlighted a whole lot more in coming episodes, Hazbin is still at it's core about EVERYBODY. Even characters that aren't even close to mains are getting attention! And aside from some uh. Very obvious pacing issues, the show handles the ensemble cast surprisingly well! And like, I think the main complaint I've seen(that isn't a straight up controversy) is that the Hotel isn't the main focus of the show? Which like. To be fair we're only like four episodes in? And also fits into my false advertising argument about Helluva but honestly this post is getting long and my brain is kinda melting and it's almost 2am and I have school tomorrow so I'm gonna cut this off here.

In conclusion Hazbin Hotel is generally more well liked than Helluva Boss because it's a true ensemble show, while Helluva is actually the Blitzø show PRETENDING to be an ensemble show. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk :)

[biwenqing]

My Thoughts on: Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know

I picked this up after I finished my reread of Golden Stage/Terrace, looking for a relationship that felt similarly balanced. I think I found it, but the books are also so different it would be a disservice to compare them. Devil Venerable Also Wants to Know is very much a story of the fantastic with lots of playing with tropes (which is a soft spot of mine). You can read the details on the Carrd and you can read the translation here on WordPress.

Things I adored:

The characters: Just about every one of the main characters (except for the ones you were supposed to hate/dislike) are delightful! Moral codes are all over the map, but that's what made it so great. No one was fully good or bad, and the story explores the ways that work in this world. The characterizations were delightful, especially considering that the POV does shift around a lot. There are some characters' POVs that would feel a bit dragged out now and then, but that was so rare and usually ended in advancing the plot so masterfully, I could easily forgive it.  

The premise: The fan-favorite character/secondary male love interest of a terrible hetero romance novel has said novel dropped on his head with a note asking him to fix the reader hated ending. It seems like a simple set up, but it gets so complicated and the ways it dives into some of the existential questions that comes up when you find you are a character in a story is masterful. I don't want to say more because I don't want to spoil it - I went in unspoiled and the twists that came up around the premise delighted me!

The worldbuilding: This had some of the most detailed and specific descriptions of the way cultivation worked (advancing and regressing in levels), as well as details on different cultivation paths to follow. At first, it felt like a lot, until it became clear how important it was to the story as a whole. By the time I was five chapters in, I no longer felt it was clunky and instead leaned into the insight it provided. 

Ties into characters but I feel needs its own shout-out - the female characters: There are three main ones, the "female lead" of the romance novel, and two high-ranking leaders in the demonic sect. They are all so different from each other and the stereotypes I feared would plague them were subverted or played with masterfully. Definitely shipping potential abounds between all three too, if that sweetens the deal. Support women's wrongs!!!

The romance: terrible bastard men miscommunicate at each other. Okay, not really, it's a lot more complicated than that. I will note that this is definitely a plot-heavy story so if you are looking for a more heavily romance focused, it might not be for you. But if you LOVE slow burn, unrequited love that is actually mutual, leveling of power imbalances so the relationship works better, exploring toxic and non-toxic possessiveness, power couples, and in a lot of ways friends to lovers, this story is for you!

Things I didn't like:

I don't think I have any? I couldn't read it fast enough? Like I said, some places would slow down a little, but it usually made sense in the context of a story that spanned so many decades.

Content Warnings:

Do pay attention to what is mentioned on the summaries. I think I'd more strongly warn for rape - the victim is a male character  assaulted by a female character, and it is brushed off in a way that made me uncomfortable, but I think that was also sort of the point? It does happen off screen. The male character ends up marrying the character who assaulted him sooooo... yeah. Be aware of that and take care of yourself!