#i feel so bad for everyone who didnt make it and for every senior who doesnt have any more chances

[speak-now-girlies-unite]

rant

my band competed at state today. about an hour ago we found out that not only did we make finals, we placed the same as we did last year when we sucked ass and also put our prop in the wrong spot. this year we did so much better, everyone was so excited. idk why im posting this but im just really sad between this and the election and idk. im just so sad and it doesnt feel fair, everyone agreed that we did so good. i really thought we had it. i dont know where we went wrong and everything feels wrong. ive never cried over losing something but i think about the rest of the band and i think about our seniors and i think about our senior drum majors and color guard leaders. i think of them standing there in the middle of the field in front of everyone as they hear about how we fell short again. i think about how its their last year and it wasnt even our fault this time and they dont deserve this. i have so much love for everyone and all of our seniors and this was it for them. i wasnt expecting to win but i thought at least we could make finals. im so stressed as is and this is just it for me. it feels like no matter what well never be good enough. idk im sorry for the long post but im just so torn up about this. thanks for reading ignore this if you want i just needed to rant

[usernamesarehard1]

Most of the time, I completely ignore Magisterium canon to the point where I forget it exists. But every now and then a reminder of it comes up and it hurts me so much inside.

I hate the canon so much. I am one of those autistic people where I am lower-empathy when it comes to real people, but have hyper-empathy for fictional characters. Especially certain fictional characters. Because some characters become a part of who I am. It's like I absorb them into my emotions and I care about them so so deeply.

And the Magisterium characters are that for me.

But the canon treats them like garbage! First of all, most of what happens is such lazy writing and doesn't even make logistical sense (ie, why is Call getting injured on the log his fault? Why would anyone believe Alma that Call is the EOD?? Why would the Magisterium TELL everyone Call was the EOD, etc????)

But secondly, shit just happens to the characters for no reason over and over and over again. They do nothing to deserve it. They don't do anything wrong! All they do is try to help and be good people and save the lives of other people. They, as CHILDREN, take on responsibility that the adults won't because they care more about people than the authority does, but yet shit just keeps happening to them!

And I hate it so damn much. It causes me such deep emotional pain. It's like what Bones did to Zack and it's hard for me to handle.

It's just so unfair! And it's not even a good story.

It's literally bad writing. First of all, it's lazy. Second of all, I feel like I can say it is like objectivley just bad writing.

I remember in my senior year of high school, we read Aristotle's break down on what makes a tragedy in literature, and it summed up exactly what was wrong with Magisterium so perfectly.

He said that in order for a tragedy to work, you need a character who is flawed but not evil, and relatable but not overly likeable. That way the audience feels bad for his ultimate demise, but also feels it's justified.

He said that if the character was just evil, we don't get sad, we instead are happy when he meets his demise. We feel that he has gotten his "just desserts"

And that when a character is too good, and hasn't done anything to deserve his downfall.....

We get angry.

That if a character is punished despite not doing anything wrong, we will want justice for that character.

THAT is the problem with Magisterium.

Call is told he is a "punishment" at 12 years old solely for distrusting an authority that killed his mother. He falls off a log that he was SUPPOSED to fall off of and gets punished for getting injured. Master Rufus automatically assumes Call would use an anti-scrying stone to cause trouble despite him not having caused any trouble at the Magisterium thus far (the only time he did anything that broke the rules that Rufus knew about was to sneak out of the school and save their precious Makar, Aaron). He gets thrown into literal adult prison at 14 for a murder that he didnt commit of his best friend (slash boyfriend) with no outside contact with Tamara or his own father for SIX MONTHS. He is then kidnapped by Anastasia at only 15 and forced to create chaos ridden. He then returns to the Magisterium at around 16 and everyone still thinks he murdered Aaron and treats him like a murderer. And then his dad, the ONLY person who ever loved him 100% uncondionally and didn't hate him at some point in his life, gets turned into a fucking devoured as a "punishment" for not wanting the very last person in his life to die at the hands of the people responsible for the deaths of everyone else in his life.

That is so fucking bad. That is so fucking bad. That is so fucking terrible.

And the authors don't even fucking care.

I am so fucking mad. Typing all that out literally HURTS me.

THIS is why I need to make the Magisterium movies someday. THIS is why I'm mad at myself every day for not making more progress on getting filmmaking experience and learning about how to make money so I can buy the film rights. THIS is why I'm driving myself crazy every day.

Because I love Call. Call is so fucking real to me and I can't let this be his life. I just cant.

[miraclemaya]

As a teen I moved to a small highschool with a proportionately tiny group of LGBT+ peers, and me missing out on the Middleschool Period of schooling for those students meant that I was like, missing a shit ton of in-group lore that I had to find out bit by bit over the years. A lot of which, in hindsight, was uuhhhh. Pretty awful?|||Like, sophomore year, "oh yeah there's this guy in the friend group named "A" who is constantly on the verge of getting recruited into alt-right spaces. You'll have to keep re-explaining to him why eugenics is bad (yes, even when it's targeting conservatives, he gets hung up on that detail) and tell him to stop sending you memes about "tr*ps," but we're afraid that if we excommunicate him from the friend group he really will go off the deep end" yikes. I guess I'll be drafted into the cause as well, just add me to the separate group chat made to shit talk him ig

Junior year, "Hey you probably didn't know this because that person "Y" isn't really a part of our main friendgroup, but can you call them by she/her pronouns and deadname them unless you're in a conversation with these 3 specific students? They're in the closet, even to their own group of friends" oh shit, yeah, of course of course.

Senior year, "Oh geez, yeah, remember when "A" was stalking "Y" in like, the 7th grade? Oh I guess you weren't here, anyways that's why "Y" isn't a part of the friend group and why they're still in the closet. Like, they came out as enby to three of us some time after leaving the friend group, and they definitely don't want "A" to know their chosen name so it's kept under wraps" jesus. What?? That's horrific, but after knowing the guy for a couple of years I'm unfortunately not surprised... I guess I understand why everyone decided to try and keep him in line from then on...?

Post graduation: ...HEY, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ALL KEEP "A" IN THE FRIEND GROUP INSTEAD OF "Y"? TO THE POINT THAT "Y" DECIDED TO NEVER FULLY LEAVE THE CLOSET AND JOIN A GROUP OF CISHET FRIENDS UNTIL AFTER THEY LEFT FOR COLLEGE?

And anyways sometimes even when you do baby a white guy's feelings (be he a member of the LGBT community or not) all you end up doing is alienating those who he hurts and allowing him to get away with shit within your social circle under the guise of him "being confused and needing you to explain it. Yes, a tenth time over." And this is a hyperspecific personal experience but every time I see a post referencing the "well if I just hated the right way, alt right spaces called me brother :(( " guy I think about "A" and how even when we bent over backwards to make him feel like family he was still a pretty shit ass sibling to have around

im a little curious what prompted this but yeahhhhh that is very real is the thing. i didnt have much in the way of real social groups in highschool but the like nazi adj types were not people you could like coddle back into not being nazis they got pissed at you if you said they were wrong about anything i got threatened with getting beaten up a few times (i never did get my shit kicked in by them because there were not that many white nazis at a school that was mostly brown and black kids lol) as for like online social spaces, i was the tranny that had to deal with this shit with the few "friends" i had it was not good and i do not talk to any of those people anymore even the ones that were nice to me, because they very much kept around assholes who were awful

[normal-is-a-raging-psychopath]

ok so I just saw this (@blobvis456) fanart of max with the caption "do you accept the risk?" which obviously is the quote lucas said to max when telling her about the up-side down.

and that threw my mind to this one analysis? or something that focused on how mike was against telling people about the supernatural shit, both as a way to keep the party safe, and also the person. I'll try to find it because I'm pretty sure I rb'd it and I'll link it when I do. EDIT : here (@darkquill98)

I am a sucker for time travel au's. specifically when the future is thrown into the past and reveals something not known (relationships -romantic or otherwise-, personal revelations etc) or when the past gets transported to the future and just see how they're future selfs are, whether it be in a fluffy way or angsty or something in between.

anyways. imagine this. it's the st season 2 finale after el closes the gates and everyone is back at the byer's house. they're planning the sleepover (the party not the older teens because it's awkward still). it's been a long night, and then suddenly there's a long bang or something and two people kinda just appear on the floor of the byers living room (where the party was planning on sleeping).

everyone's on edge, weapons are pointed and then they realize who it is.

mike and max considerably older (I see them as seniors but anytime post-s4 post-vecna defeat goes).

during this time, mike's gotten up to a sitting position on the floor, but max is still on her back.

a key point in this is that max is disabled.

so everyone (present) is surrounding m&m (it's much easier to type that max and mike every time) and they see as mike slowly helps max up and positions himself behind her so that she can lean against him.

this is odd for two reasons. a) max and mike are getting along? mike is helping her? which he'd obviously do either way (see skateboard scene) but still, it's the care and love he does it with. b) why does max need help? why didnt she get up her self?

before they can verbalise this one of the walkie talkies starts spewing static and first, which slowly clears into lucas's voice. future lucas.

there's talking about are they ok? do you know what happened? and so on so forth. it's not really planned out in my head but there are a few things revealed. 1) a reference is made to both el and will working together in order to create a signal between the present and future radios, 2) lucas asks how max is and she replies that it's a bad day and quips the whatever sent them here is abelist because it didn't even bother to send her wheelchair with her.

(max absolutely plays the abelism card wherever she can fight me on this. she also makes so many dark jokes related to it. i think lucas would kinda hate it but it makes her smile so it's fine with him. el also kinda hates it but she finds it funny as well so she conflicted.)

also the way I imagine things, most days max is in her wheelchair with limited mobility, on good days, she's able to walk with her crutches but on bad days (like the one she's having) she can barely move without pain and needs help a lot. (which the party+extended are always happy to give her)

so after the whole conversation, obviously the present have some questions, m&m just reveal that max is paralyzed due to some event with the up-side down but not how (because they're not sure how much they can reveal)

anyway onto why i wanted this. the angst. i want present max to cope with the fat fact that she can't walk, i want mike's guilt at not being able to keep her away, I want lucas's horror because he was the one that brought her into this. maybe will and el feel guilty because it was caused by the upside down. maybe the older members (teens +jopper) feel guilty because they're older they should have been able to protect her.

while i'd like the main focus to be how max has adapted to her disability (speaking of which, does anyone have any fics recs like that?) I also want little snippet into the future to show that despite things becoming worse for a while it's also gotten so much better. i see elumax and byler. or if elumax isnt your thing then elmax or lumax maybe with henderhop aswell. idk, it's kinda flexible ig (excepts for byler even though it's not a main-main focus i still want a reveal because mike to mike chat about their sexuality and relationship with will and el and will learning that theres hope (especially considering it's following the shed scene) and theres just a lot i think can be explored there)

it it was elumax, which is what i thought of, then it's lucas and max finding out they get together and finally act on their feelings, its lucas feeling odd because he's also dating el and he though that el and mike had their thing going on. its el's not sexuality crisis i would say but realising not everything is like in the movies. its el and max realising that they worked through their problems and became friends and then more.

for the older teens idk what but im either leaning towards established jancy whose worked through their issue with steve who is learning he's come to term with it and learning about robin (he definitely make more of an effort to befriend her while working at scoops ahoy) or stonathon. which might require alteration to the canon s2 or maybe not and they figure out how that complicated mess of relationships worked out (which i think would be hilarious cause at this point in time stancy have just had their nasty break-up and jancy are in that weird phase that's like we fucked and we lie each other a lot but haven't defined what we are yet only to find out apparently steve and jonathan are dating?? what?)

for jopper, if they find out they're established and married, I think there's a whole lot to work through, cause while joyce may have had some feelings for hop, that was far overshadowed by her love for bob who she is now grieving because he's dead because she dragged him into this supernatural bullshit and yeah she has a lot of shit to work through. not to mention I think hopper will also need time to come to terms especially since the last time he was married didnt go well.

this has drastically spiralled but whatever.

as a bonus to the previous, give me the byer-hopper clan realising they're becoming a family. jonathan had a new father figure and he doesn't know how to feel about that. hop suddenly has 2 sons. joyce has a daughter now jonathan and will have a sister now el has two brother now. apparently will and el who literally only just met are as close as twins in the future.

can you tell that i really love time travel au's. there's just so much potential.

this has spiraled way out of control so if the beginning and the end seem disjointed, its because I expected this to go in a very different direction.

[ventingbaybe]

1/16/24

I did end up moving out after that last post, two or so years ago.

Im on my second year break from school, the whole point of the gap year was to save money for school. I got kicked out though, so there went that.

My parents dont like when i word it that i got kicked out, I was “heavily implied that I should move out so that I can thrive away from my family because they didnt sign up to start taking care of me again because I couldnt go back to school” but not kicked out.

I got a second job, worked 80 hour weeks for a while, quit one, work the other. Moved from one apartment to another and then another. I dont have any roommates, just me. I cant get an animal because it would be irresponsible when im planning on going back to school and wouldnt be able to bring them with me.

Every month I pay $1000 in rent, $500 in my loan repayment, and whatever other shit i get roped into.

I have a boyfriend. I had a crush on him at the beginning of last summer, we met at work. I ended up getting over him at one point. But sometime in October I got drunk and flirted with him, we went on a couple dates and made it official. Its awkward. We dont have anything to talk about and dont have anything in common. I feel bad that I cant be the partner that he deserves, but we just arent fit for one another. We need to break up but we havent had any free time to see eachother and actually have a talk about anything. Hes a great guy, but romantically we just arent compatible at all.

Were having a winter storm in my state and just my washing machine pipe froze, so last night at 2am I got to spend hours cleaning up my overflowed washing machine and hand wringing out and emptying the machine. I feel constantly overwhelmed and like Im drowning, but I dont have a solid enough support system to feel helped. This isnt to diss my friends or anything, I just need professional help at this point and cant keep burdening my friends with this kind of constant badgering of venting.

I need to make some more friends, like actual friends I hang out with who are on a similar level of being grown up as me. I need other people who are moved out that I can find some relation and comfort in. I just dont feel like I have anyone solid in my corner that I can turn to at this moment. Its my own fault which is even more frustrating.

I wish i could just go home and curl up on the couch and be comforted. Im a grown person whose fully moved out, supported completely by myself, but I just want my mom. I wish her and I were close. But neither of us are willing to let down our egos enough to ever talk without fighting. One time my mom told me she likes me better when Im drunk, because Im quiet and sweet. So everytime i go over, I have a drink and pretend it affects me more than it does.

I was a functioning alcoholic for most of my senior year of highschool. I’d drink nearly half a bottle of vodka every night. It hurts to see people compliment how I act when im drunk more than when Im sober. I wish I was a likable person. I dont know why I lash out, why I cant not have the last word, but I also wish i didnt have to fight everyone at any given moment.

I dont know why i fight but I dont know why everyone around me loves to rile me up.

My family has always known I had anger issues, and nothing made them laugh harder than seeing me lose my temper, if i got mad i was laughed at. If i got sad I was laughed at. If i stayed sat at that dining room table and went quiet then i was laughed at. If i excused myself to go to my room or hide in the bathroom, I was laughed at. There was no way to get away from the ridicule besides being an asshole back, and then someone else was always allowed to storm off. No one else was laughed at when they left. The table would go silent until everyone else excused themselves and it was just me.

Theres nothing quite like being left alone while everyone else comforts eachother. Why wasnt I included. Was it my own fault? Was I that repulsive of a kid? A teen? What about me was so fundamentally wrong that I couldnt be included.

I remember being young, maybe 9 at this memory. My brother had said something, I said something back, he stormed off and told my mom. I remember feeling excited when my mom came to my door. I remember thinking maybe it was my turn to be comforted. To be held and rocked the way she would to my brothers. I remember standing there while she screamed at me, hearing my brothers doors squeak open so they could tune in to the show. Being ridiculed for being such a horrible daughter, a horrible sister, just a base level horrible person to be around. How much my brothers would complain to my parents about how much they hated me.

Watching my mother stand there with this blank face as I would stand there, tears welled up in my eyes being told that if it wasnt for being family, I would be unloved.

She would hug me after, let my tears soak into the shoulder of her shirt, and say nothing as Id choke out apologies for being how I was. She’d stand there and hold me, telling me that all I could do was change.

So I tried. I tried so hard. I distanced myself from my family so they wouldnt have to deal with me. I got criticized for hiding away and hating them.

Now that I dont live there its easier. I dont see any of them often and they seem happy. My older brother is also moved out but he was still over there constantly, having dinner with the family most nights. I would tell my mom I would swing by later and come over to an empty house. Id wait for an hour, thinking maybe they were all just out, but they wouldnt be back. Id put away whatever Id brought over and leave, a silent drive back home to throw myself into an empty apartment and sit there. Not even a text to acknowledge whatever Id brought. Who knows if they even noticed.

I know my parents care about me, at least on some level. My dad comes over to help me set up my wifi, he drove me to work during this snow storm. I can see that on a base level he cares. But I hate that ill never know how much. Some people you can just sense it when you meet their parents, how they interact, how their parents look at them so fondly.

I feel embarrassed when my friends meet my family, not because Im embarrassed of my family, but because I know that the way I talk about my family isnt reciprocated. That no matter how many stories of my family I can share to my friends, how fondly I talk about them and their achievements, how every eyelash I wish on is spent wishing for my family to receive only the best, I know that when my friends look at my family and I, they dont see that fond look that their parents give them.

No matter how funny I can be around my friends, it will never translate over with my family. How I get quiet and move to the background around family.

I wish I was something and someone that could be talked about.

I wish I was worth bringing up in conversation when Im not around.

I wish just once in my life I felt like I was worth putting up with.

[kath-artic]

moar

since im on the topic i wanna play around in this space a little more

growing up i was a very private person. sure, my best friends knew about problems at home and my struggles with mental health, but i never talked to them about the things i cared about or the people i liked. love was such a valuable thing that to talk about it frivolously seemed sinful and just downright disrespectful to the concept. it had to be protected. this is unfortunately why i stayed in my first relationship for so long. i foolishly thought that i was somehow about infatuation and frivolous love. i thought id know it when i found it and that id never let it go, so i couldnt just admit id made a mistake. regardless, friendships to me were always about being too in the moment to care about anything else. friendship was about silent understanding and play. most of my high school friends were like this. we never talked about our lives outside of school save for one or two times, but we all knew we were all going through something so we'd all keep each other busy all night. we wouldnt leave the school until the janitors kicked us out and then we'd wander the town. every now and then someone would break down and cry and we'd sit there and hold each other, but talking about it hardly seemed necessary at that time. it wasnt until the dam broke for me at the end of my senior year that i started really opening up about stuff. that was my brief Therapy phase. i became obsessed with talking about the trauma id gone through and didnt know how to be someone outside of it for a while, but that was a horrible person to be for me. i feel bad for her and it was important that i was her for a time, but im glad im not anymore. she taught me how to be open, but every time i opened up i exploded and it never felt all that fulfilling. in fact, i found that me "trauma dumping" was just me trying to answer everyones questions before they started prying so theyd think i had nothing to hide. i was afraid of people knowing me at that time. what's more, the concept of meeting new people was exhausting at that time because to know me at that time was to know what id been through and it was hard having to go through it again and again.

leaving fixed me. ive said it before but it remains true. ive realized i love a blank slate and ive realized that knowing me is an innate quality some people do or dont possess in varying degrees. ive realized my story is mine and that i generally like being private because i really only like sharing when i think i'll be understood or when i think it's necessary to expose people to new possibilities. i like knowing lots of people, i like knowing them deeply and intimately, but not necessarily constantly. i dont want people to run dry by dumping all their is to know at my feet at once, which is why i think space is so necessary for me. old friends reaching out is such a joy because theyre a new person at this point! new friends are such a joy because they tend to feel as though theyre old friends! i just like for my circle to be full of as many people who are distinctly themselves as possible and i like to learn something. i know sometimes i have to be the teacher, but i vastly prefer equal exchanges. there are few people i never grow tired of, but they tend to also be the ones who think similarly and likewise go off on their own from time to time. we maintain a healthy distance even though we could just as easily talk forever and ever and never grow bored. i think thats the kind of relationship i can have only one of at a time and its something i reserve for romatic partners. a romantic partner is someone who is eternally interesting. someone i can be close to and still find more new things about. i still like to have space, but the closeness wouldnt make me squirm. we could talk forvever and ever and maybe we just will. idk. but there it is

[takalzuoom]

twst boys i would avoid irl and why

jade : he’s weird. like- really weird. he’ll come up to you, say some morbid shit, then leave. would actually be the teachers pet. would giggle in the middle of class cause he saw smthn on youtube. DEFINITELY SMILES AT HIS PHONE- creepily. has 2 tiktok accounts. one for terrariums, other for those really weird thirst traps. french coat kid. “any questions for this years science class?” “are we going to dissect frogs?” “…no-“ HE MAKES A DISAPPOINTED FACE AS HE LOWERS HIS HEAD.

idia : ooc but he would be one of those people who wore the hentai sweatshirts. “you’re not like others girls, your different”. slouches. i hate slouchers. the person you try to befriend but after you talk to them you don’t wanna be in the same room as them. perks up if someone mentions anime 😭 HES THAT ONE WEIRD KID WHO HAS ARGUMENTS WITH POPULAR KIDS- LIKE AT FIRST HE DIDNT BOTHER BUT NOW HE ACTIVELY LOOKS FOR THEM.

malleus : giving me trench coat vibes. being honest, would you try to talk to the loner? would you? that’s what i thought. one time you asked what he was listening to it was angel with a shotgun…night core. what everyone wanted to be in highschool. bart simpson pt1

ace : gym try hard. popular kid try hard. has a new girlfriend every other week. the kid in class who moans. ‘ben rover’ in kahoot. that one kid who tries to be friends with the popular people but usually get excluded 💀💀 unironically uses ‘🥶💯😈’ actually- probably that childhood friend that drifted and now he’s ‘popular’ lol. choked on a vape trying to be cool. senior friends so when he’s a freshman he’s trying to make new friends- it’s a never ending cycle 🧍🏻

rook : the actual weird kid. you sat next to him in class kne tjme, and when you snuck a peek he was looking at you… smiling. “your hair smells good’ 😐. what the fuck. don’t feel comfortable standing behind him. I THINK HE SITS ALONE AT LUNCH. if you look at the door during class he usually walks by making eye contact. everyone thinks he’s a perv lol. heated debates about his sexuality. needed up with pan

riddle : teachers pet. no one likes a teachers pet. i remember this time in choir where i told my teacher i got into this prestigious out of school choir- then this BITCH (teachers favorite) said she got into one too right after me. BOY IF DONT- reminds teacher of homework. “ MR.SMITH! MR.SMITH THEYRE CHEATING! THEYRE CHEATING MT.SMITH” SHUT YO BITCH ASS UP. pretentious bitch pt 1. “i do violin, piano, tennis, boy scouts, college prep, ballroom dancing, saxophone, and-“ “bruh we’re literally in 6th grade. all in all, i’d feel bad for him until i met him.

vil - mean girl mean girl mean girl. literally heather macalmore and regina george. the person to put their gruesome history notes in rose gold pen /w glitter. heather. perfect body, perfect grades, perfect everything. the mean girl you fucking hate. that person in school you wish will fail in life. but 10 years later at the reunion he’s still hot and skinny, turns out he’s a ceo. OFF HANDED COMPLIMENTS.GIVES YOU DIRTY LOOKS FOR NO READON. THAT ONE UNFILTERED KID. “yeah so we went to peru for summer break”

ruggie : would steal your shit. don’t leave your backpack around or else he’ll take a pencil. if you drop your eraser and go to pick it up he’ll put his foot over it. and if you ask him to lift it up it suddenly won’t be there anymore??? rook part of that trend where people stole the schools toilets / sinks. just a prankster in general. you’ve seen him run away from staff multiple times. FUCKING GRILLS DURING CLASS- LIKE YOU COULD BE TAKING A QUIZ AND YOU EITHER SMELL SAUSAGE OR HEAR A SINGLE CHIP CRUNCH. BUT NO ONE SNITCHES CAUSE HES THE SCHOOLS HOOK UP. seems very condescending.

sebek : the ACTUAL wanna be popular kid. looked over and saw him watching inspirational ted talks. EVERYONE fucking hates him. like no joke sits alone at lunch (or with sliver lol) fun days are when he’s not there. “ACTUALLY it’s pronounced-“ “that’s wrong cause you have to round up.” ONE TIME I RAISED MY HAND IN HISTORY TO ANDWER A QUESTION. AND AS I WAS ABOUT TO ANSWER THIS KID YELLED THE ANSWER AND ME THE THE TEACHER SHARED A LOOK- THATS SEBEK popular kids usually mess with him. if you want friends don’t settle for him. he’ll ruin your social life. gets mad when he loses in gym. “FUCK” “sebek language” “ NO CAUSE THESE LAZY ASSES DIDNT TRY AND WE LOST” “it’s literally high-school gym class”

[unknownwriting]

Summary: childhood friends to lovers with the asl trio hc (modern au!)

Characters: Sabo, Portgas D. Ace, Monkey D. Luffy

Notes: Uhhh...I didn’t just write more Sabo and Ace. 🙈 omg I really can’t get enough of these 2. Lol it was hard to write Luffy but I tried my best 😌

━━☆⌒*.

Sabo

Definitely love at first sight. When he first saw you, he wasn’t sure why, but he loves you. Maybe it the way you smiled, or laughed, or your playful eyes. Whatever it was, Sabo has always like you since you were kids.

now seeing how the world isnt perfect, Sabo had only barely got to know you before he was forced to move away to London (idk why London but Oda said that Sabo was British sooo....🤷🏼‍♀️ and like if you live in London or what not just don’t for the sake of the hc 😌)

Of course before he left he made sure to make a secret email so he could still email you and his brothers. Once he got his phone he did not wait to give you his number and call.

because he still lives over sea (assuming that no one reading this lives in England...) the 2 of you would call and text all the time. Text each other good morning and how y’all slept, text through the day about every little thing, and at night the 2 of you would fall asleep on the phone (I completely forgot about the time difference so just ignore it for this)

I can’t even tell you how many time you had your phone taken up and had Ace to steal it back.

even though the 2 of you couldn’t see each other in person, only being able to call and text didn’t seem to stop you 2. You still told each other everything, sent each other memes on Insta, and called when ever you got a chance.

no don’t think that just because Sabo is over seas, Ace doesn’t know about his crush on you. 100% knows about it and 100% teases you about it. You can’t really get mad at him because if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t have realized your feelings for Sabo

but with Ace knowing about Sabo crush, he made sure to keep other boys away just because he can. Sabo really didn’t ask for it but he’s still greatful anyways.

and so with any boy that has ever like you being scared away by Ace, in your senior year of highschool (Sabo is 2 years older than you so he had to wait until your senior year) Sabo fianlly came out and told you that he liked you. And surprise, surprise you like him too and as soon as those words left your lips, he dropped everything and booked the next flight. He didn’t even tell you here was flying over till he landed.

you, Ace and Luffy wasted no time and drove right to the air port. You definitely made sure to wear your running shoes because you practically sprinted to one side of the air port to the other. As soon as your eyes landed on the blonde, you jumped straight into his arms and didnt let go for a solid 10 minutes.

with sabo now home, of course y’all throw a huge party. How could you not. Literally everyone’s invited. Garp, Daran (she complains, but she happy and everyone knows it), all the straw hats, most of the whitebeard pirates, even Shanks and his crews shows up even though they hardly know Sabo. It’s just a huge party

the party could’ve gone on for days but Sabo still had to get situated. So once the party ended the 2 of you began to unpack his stuff at your house. He came over with practically nothing so it wasn’t hard. And once that’s was done, the 2 of you began to do a bunch of couple-y shit to make up for the time spent apart.

touch starve, both of you, but most Sabo. Always had to be touching you. Whether it’s holding hands, kisses on the cheek , or just hugging. He feels the need to make up for all the years he was away from you.

and you better be ready for surprise dates, like this man will not stop making you feel loved. And in all honesty you could care less about the dates, simply being with him and being able to hug him after so long is all that you need. It doesn’t take a lot for the 2 of you to feel loved at all but just let Sabo spoil you. If you don’t he’ll practically throw a fit. And plus being smothered in kisses isn’t that bad from time to time

omg I so need a fanfic like that 🤧

Portgas D. Ace

At first Ace came out cold to you, just like he did Luffy. When Ace was a child he didn’t think he deserved to be love so he contuined to stay cold but just like Luffy, you didn’t give up. You tried to make conversation and play with him and sooner or later he did come around to you.

But what really sparked his so called curiosity with you was when Sabo had told you who his dad was and you simply shrugged it off, saying, “his dad has nothing to with Ace. As far as I’m consered he’s dad’s irrelevant at this point.” It was bold for you to say but Ace liked that. From there on out there aways seemed to be a glow that followed you, like a spot light.

Ace knows everything about you, even the things you don’t know. He doesn’t do it to be creepy he just couldn’t stop thinking about you. Ace knows your favorite color that changes every 3 months, how you like your pizza, how you always sleep talk, how you have a bad habit of speaking before you think and how you bite the inside of your cheek when your nervous, and how you dig your nails into your palms when your angry

He’s know you inside out and he really doesn’t mean it in a creepy way. It’s just hard to not watch you when your caught his attention. Now all throughout elementary school and middle school he didn’t think much of it. But once he was a freshmen in highschool and you were a 7th grader, and boys began to take interest in you that’s when he finally figured out: he was in love with you

of course, he had a little help from Sabo. Sabo’s best friends with Ace, how could he not notice? He thought it would be best to let Ace figure out that unknown feeling himself, seeing how Ace’s has never once thought about it. But as soon as Ace was able to figure out his feelings, Sabo was right there ready to help him out

It wasn’t hard, really. You were right by Ace when he slowly came out of his shell thanks to Whitebeard and his crew who took Ace in. And once you saw how lively and happy he got it was hard not to fall in love with him. Now that hard part was trying get together

Thatch was the the one who ended up actually getting you 2 together with the help of Sabo and Koala. Now of course, they waited until your senior year of highschool so things weren’t weird and then the plan was set into motion.

If the 2 of you had to be honest, you don’t even remember how it happened. You 2 just started dating The plan was all over the place, so the 2 of you just decided to tell each other you like them. And then boom, the 2 of you were a couple.

So like everyone always knows this but Ace won’t care of the relationship of the other one doesn’t love back. With his past he needs to know that he is loved, so while he always spoil you in kisses and acts like he is the giver in the relationship, you know well enough that he’s a receiver. You don’t mind at all anyways, seeing the fluster look at his face, is enough for you.

But that doesn’t means he does plan surprise dates, or random gifts. The relationship you 2 have is very balanced, nothing ever feels to overbearing. And I know I say this a lot but dating Ace is the best thing to ever happen

Monkey D. Luffy

Honestly the 2 of you probably met at some random park. You don’t even know how it happened. One minute you playing on the play ground, next thing you know your walking in the woods with a random boy that was about your age.

You couldn’t really complain though, the playground was getting boring and being pulling along for an adventure wasn’t bad. While on the adventure you were able to learn, surprisingly a lot about the boy. But the big take away is that his name is Luffy, he’s got 2 bigger brothers, and is around 7, about 2 years younger than you.

Definitely ended up spending the whole day with him in the woods. Y’all did everything from climbing trees, finding rare beetles, fighting animals, and playing in the ponds. You hardly met this kid yet and yet you had more fun than any other friend you met. By the time y’all headed back it was practically nighttime and, although he probably didn’t do it internationally, Luffy ended up walking you all the way to you house.

Before you could even knock on the door, your parents swung open the door and engulfed you into a crying hug while also scolding you at the same time. They were definitely giving off mixed emotions. From there, Luffy let out a loud laugh and ran off, waving by to his new friend. From that day forwards, you seemed to always be caught up in some mess with him. Y’all would meet at the park, at school, at stores, just any place where the 2 of you could have any type of fun.

This went on for a while, the 2 of you would adventure off to the woods, until Luffy’s brothers began to ask who you were. That’s when Luffy finally decided to take you to his house. It’s not that he didn’t want to take you before it’s just that he thought it would be more fun to go other places. But once Luffy brought you to his house, Dadan, the lady you learned who was taking care of them, practically had a heart attack. Seeing anything kid was the last thing she wanted. You had to tell her like 10 times that you were just here to hang out with Luffy. 

It’s not like it mattered though, you were already with him so it was really like Dadan had to take care of you. But just like the other boys she definitely came around to like you. And of course, Ace and Sabo came around to like you. How could they not? It wasn’t everyday that a girl would hang out with them. Whether or not he wants to admit it, Sabo had a small crush on you. But it didn’t last long after seeing your relationship with Luffy.

The think about Luffy is that he’s not gonna know he has a crush or even realize it on his own. He doesn’t really care that much. He knows all about dating and love and the birds and the bees, he just doesn’t care as much. So Luffy didn’t notice his crush on you until you brought it up. And even once you brought it up, not much changed between you 2. Not because he doesn’t like you he just doesn’t see what’s the difference between being friends and dating.

You ended up telling him you liked him early on but you didn’t want to actually get into anything until high school. So you waited until sophomore year then you asked Luffy to date you. Of course he got a push from Ace and Sabo but Luffy was gonna say yes anyways. And thus, the 2 of you began dating.

Dating Luffy is kinda a challenge. He not one to pick up on the little things or signals, so most of the time you have to tell him straight forwards. Whether you want a kiss, a hug, or to go on a date. Although the 2 of you are dating, Luffy acts how he was before beacuse he doesn’t see how the relationship changed much. He doesn’t do it to hurt or upset you, it’s just how he sees it.

And although you have to tell Luffy what you want most of the time. Dating Luffy is surprisingly easy, too. Depending on what it is, Luffy could either be a challenge or not. Beacuse you have to tell Luffy everything communication is really strong between the 2 of you. The both of you also trust each other very much. Because Luffy doesn’t just build relationships with anyone. Once the relationship starts though, you can expect him to be very trustworthy and reliable. Luffy adores all the friendships he makes, so he’ll never befriend someone who he doesn’t trust.

[bangtansmau]

midnight memories

pairing: kim taehyung x you

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summary: you moved in to a new apartment because you couldn't live another day with a noisy neighbor. to your luck, your balcony faced another apartment's balcony from the building next door and he also is infamous for making sounds. however, you can't seem to care when the noise is actually from a nice violin and the player himself is also nice-looking. 

------------–------

track 6: don't forget where you belong

she was the last person he wanted to see standing behind his door.

taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed at the sight of his former muse that still held the same smirk and the glint of mischief in her eyes. her clothes looked like she just came from a club and his nose twitched when the faint scent of booze permeated the air.

“minji, what are you doing here?”

his icy tone made her pout and she leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms.

“is that how you call me now, taetae?”

the nickname made him flinch and she grinned.

“come on, taetae. can you let a girl in? you don’t want me to stay in the streets, do you?”

everything in him screamed to refuse but he wasn’t given a chance to answer as she already barged her way in through his door. 

“you belong in the streets”

he mumbled but she didn’t seem to hear it.

minji stood at the end of the hallway, surveying the whole room and her nose crinkled at the sheer size of it.

“you really stay in this shed, tae? you could do so much better”

she chided but taehyung ignored her and grabbed her arm to face him. his eyes were no longer warm and inviting- rather, cold and upset.

“what the hell do you want, minji? why did you come all the way here? how did you even know my address?”

she rolled her eyes as if the answer was so obvious that he should know. but he didnt, a sharp stare boring straight to her face.

“i have friends everywhere, tae. and i just wanted to see you, since it’s been so long”

her manicured hand travelled to his shoulder and was about to rub his shirt when he swatted it away. taehyung exuded an aura of anger and he clenched his jaw.

“i don’t want to see you nor do i want to do anything with you. now get the fuck out of my home or so help me God”

but the threat didn’t faze her. minji reverted to her true colors, the mischief being replaced by malice and her lips curled into a sneer.

“don’t forget who i am, taehyung. i could ruin your reputation here just like i did at home but surely, you don’t want me to, right? you don’t want to be looked at like that here too, right?”

the faux sympathy annoyed him and he chuckled humorlessly. of course she would threaten him with that. she was what chased him away from his home and everything he knew towards a family friend who graciously accepted him to live with them in the city.

the city where he would have a fresh start. 

“it’s nearly been 2 years. you’re still holding on to that?”

he looked off to the side to contain himself then looked back at her with a harsh glare.

“you may have friends and connections in daegu that could believe you and every lie you could spout off. but here? this is my territory. they know nothing about you, or my life back then so they won’t believe you if you spread them. besides, you’re the only one in them. would they think it was me who took the photos in the first place?”

he was right.

she knew he was right.

the explicit photos he consensually took of her were what ruined his image at the small town but in the big city, no one would bat an eyelash. and no one knew who lee minji was. compared to their rural home where everyone knew everybody to the capital of the country, she was just another person living in this city like the other millions. taehyung has been here for nearing 2 years now, making friends and connections from the middle of his senior year to current. he has an upper-hand than her and even if she tried to blame and point fingers at him, the photos only showed her face and none of who was behind the camera- him.

taehyung laughed at her defeated face and was about to go on when his phone rang. minji watched her former lover pick up the phone with a bright smile and answered happily. 

“okay. yea, sure. i’ll be there. on my way now”

when he hung up, his face shifted to the same coldness from before and tears welled up in her eyes. not from sadness, but from frustration. that she no longer holds a threat over his head and he was finally free from her.

tae paused for a second, then sighed.

“this is the last time you’ll ever hear or see from me again. if you come back, i will release the videos of you, like you did to me. i could’ve done it immediately after you leaked it but i had a feeling i needed to wait. and i was right. so try something again, i’ll really destroy you. both in seoul, and daegu.”

minji gulped and harshly pulled away from his grasp to cradle it close to her and glaring hatefully at him.

“i hate you, kim taehyung”

he chuckled.

“sure you do. now, i have to go somewhere. i’ll go first but don’t even think about looking for anything because i have nothing in here. i really shouldn’t be this nice but i’d feel bad kicking you out when you stink like the combination of a beaver’s ass and puke. so go take a shower and leave when you’re done. and your clothes? use my robe and go. it would be a shame to find you dead in a ditch because you wore something like that. terrible cause of death, don’t you think?”

she stomped her foot on the tile in the bathroom as she replayed the last things taehyung said to her. minji looked at herself in the mirror and resisted the urge to throw the vase by the door at her reflection.

“stupid, lee minji. you shouldn’t have come here”

you didn’t do anything or say anything because you should’ve expected this. taehyung was one handsome and fine young man, of course he would have women begging to sleep with him. unfortunately, you saw one of those girls leaning against the railing of his balcony with nothing but a robe.

he even let her stay at his place.

the curious stare you had was met with the girl herself and her lips turned up to a smirk and her head cocked to the side. minji caught your eye since you could be seen through the large windows of your living room.

so you were the girl in his camera.

she even raised her hand as a hello and beckoned you to come outside. at first, you didn’t know who she was talking to, even pointing to yourself as confirmation, but she nodded and you slowly walked to the doors and out to the balcony.

at a closer look, this girl was beautiful. duh, only pretty girls should be with him. with the perfect skin and even flawless natural beauty, she was the girl you would envision to be his girlfriend.

of course, he has a girlfriend!

the topic never came up and you assumed he was single with the flirty texts he sent but she might be his girlfriend.

minji smirked when you said nothing and just kept staring at her. it was so unlike taehyung to find interest in a little girl like you.

“you must be,, diana?”

you stopped.

“huh?”

how does she know about that?

minji chuckled.

“sorry. i was in tae’s laptop and saw a folder named diana. and your pictures were in there so i assumed,, you are diana. you are, aren’t you?”

it made you feel awkward that his girlfriend knew you and the fact that she found out about you was because her boyfriend’s laptop had pictures of you in it. you would be curious too if your own boyfriend did that.

so you just nodded.

“um, i guess? but don’t misunderstand! i’m just helping him! that’s it!”

you clarified but minji didn’t seem bothered, even just examining her fingernails.

“it’s alright. tae’s always been like that. he wasn’t interested in anything strikingly attractive or beautiful so his standards of beauty are quite rare. but once he does find it, he doesn’t let go. he takes pictures of it and keeps it as,,, a collection?”

you didn’t understand anything she was saying but the energy you got from her was suspicious and negative.

“what are you saying? i’m not following”

you awkwardly chuckled to lighten up the air but minji kept going.

“once you become taehyung’s model, he becomes drawn to you- almost, obsessed. but in the end of the day, you’ll still just be his model. that’s it. why? because he doesn’t fall in love with the eyes. he falls in love with his camera. you can be the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth but if one day, his lens doesn’t capture that, he would cast you aside and find a new one. so darling, i want to give you a bit of an advice to save you the heartbreak. you can like him all you want- hell, even fall in love with him if you so desire-but don’t forget who you are, don’t forget where you belong. stay in your place, know your purpose, and just be his good little doll, nothing more. okay?”

there was conflict inside you because you weren’t in love with him, attracted sure, but you weren’t going to fall in love with him. but why does it feel like your hopes were just crushed? was it because he could easily cast you aside when he no longer needs you? but she was right. you were just a model. 

then again, who was she to be saying this stuff? 

“why are you saying this?”

you quietly said and minji showed a ‘sad’ smile.

“because i was once you. and if you don’t follow my advice, you could end up like me. thrown away and forgotten.”

----------------

fun facts:

- lee minji was taehyung's ex-girlfriend and they were,,, doing stuff and she told tae he was allowed to take pictures and all that but tae broke up with her which made her spread the pictures and taehyung's family were ashamed of him so they sent him to seoul where a family friend let him stay.

- minji didn't know there were videos too but he kept them just in case for payback or revenge or just something to keep over her head

- namjoon is currently reading DEMIAN and DON QUIXOTE and he switches from that language to crack for the group chat

- jimin still has an X and jungkook keeps teasing him about it

- tae works as an intern for a photography company but he usually does the editing at home so he never leaves the house

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//masterlist//

← track 5 // track 7 →

taglist!:

@weasleyswizarding-wheezes​

[aenniesryu]

tsukikage middle school exes

tsukishima kei and kageyama tobio. both in their first year of high school and are also teammates since they played in the same vb team for their school

ofc everyone is well aware of the fact that these two kind of hated each other. not that it was an obvious fact to begin with since ever from the beginning the two would constantly bicker and throwing insults at one another

however, that was it. that was the only thing everyone knows about the two. the team even had to separate the two of them when things escalated quickly just to make sure none of them will started to throw fits

no one knows the actual reason as to why they would bicker every so often. the team just thought that the two have so different perceptions towards volleyball that makes them so hard to get along with

the team did tried to help them to get along but it just ended up with them constantly at each others throat arguing about whatever it is

what the team actually didnt know is that tsukishima and kageyama once dated back then in their middle school days.

so basically the entire thing going on between those two were just them being salty because of 1) the break up and also 2) their mindset when it comes to volleyball

tsukishima and kageyama once dated before despite them not attending the same school

but, both were living in the same neighbourhood and their houses were basically next to each other making it easier for them to constantly see each other

however, that was a year ago before kageyama's family decided to move to another neighbourhood

no, the break up was not because of them moving because they would still see each other if they put more efforts in it

the break up on the other hand was because of this one major thing. it was a silly reason but nevertheless it was the thing that made them broke up and that thing is volleyball

yes, volleyball. even tho both were playing for their respective teams back in middle school, their perspective when it comes to volleyball differs too much.

kageyama being the volleyball freak he is would just spent most of his times practicing his serve. even on the weekends. tsukishima, however didnt really took it seriously when it comes to volleyball ever since it was just a club anyway, right?

with kageyama spending more and more time with his practice, tsukishima was left alone. they barely even get to meet each other because of them being in different schools and then kageyama's free time was now full with volleyball alone

tsukishima might felt a lil bit jealous since kageyama, his boyfriend at that time would constantly talked about oikawa. it's always oikawa this and oikawa that. he knows kageyama only meant no harm and hes just looking up onto his senior who plays really well.

tsukishima was fine with that. yeah, he really does because never once did he ever tell kageyama to shut up whenever he talks about oikawa.

what was not fine was that kageyama spent the only free time they had on volleyball. it was the only time that they would be able to hang out and go outside but suddenly it stopped. no more seeing each other, no more dates and no more talking to each other

yes, kageyama did tell him over and over again that he feels sorry and that he just needs to prepare himself to be the best for their team

tsukishima did understand him but as time passed by, tsukishima became selfish. well that's what he thought. hes tired of waiting. he shouldn't be blamed when all he wanted was for his boyfriend attention

then 2 months before the very important match for kageyama, tsukishima went and break things off. and just like that they are no longer boyfriends or friends

kageyama moving to another neighbourhood just make things a lil bit easier since they wont be seeing each other anymore after the break up

"What the fck was that kageyama?" Tsukishima is now in rage with his once called boyfriend. They were in the middle of a practice match where they were divided into two different teams and just to make them work along together and maybe become friends, coach ukai and daichi thought it would be the best to put them into the same group. Oh how wrong they were because now they are fight again.

"I just did what's the best for the team. All you need to do is jump a lil bit higher than usual for that toss. you are already tall enough, make sure of it for once" kageyama was surprisingly calm when he said that but only god knows how scared he felt whenever tsukishima raised his voice at him because he got irritated. it wasnt a pleasant sight to see and get into especially when tsukishima is dmn mad. like the situation they are in now.

"yes my height alone is enough and that is why, you as the setter should take in mind that I would perfectly score if you just tossed me the ball right at where my hand can reach. making me go through all the hard work just to reach that fcking ball you threw is just wasting my energy" tsukishima is really not having it. not only did kageyama sent him a high ball, hes also pissed that kageyama made him wasted his energy in jumping higher than he normally do.

"excuse me? I'm just doing what's the best for the team. I'm taking out that fcking capability that you have in you that you decides to freaking hide and toss it away, just because you think putting an effort even the slightest of it into the match is a waste of your time" now kageyama started to boiled up. he knows that tsukishima has a lot of talent when it comes to volleyball, he knows that really well. perks of being his boyfriend throughout their middle school years. well honestly kageyama thinks tsukishima is just wasting his talent with his kind of mindset.

everyone at the gym are just staring and listening to them arguing. daichi was closed to tear them apart and continue with the practice match, but before he can do that sugawara stop him. daichi was not having it but sugawara had something else in mind. he thinks that maybe them arguing this time would make the rest of the team to get a grip on what making them argue in the first place. and maybe the truth would unfold without them needing to ask tsukishima and kageyama. coach ukai seems to have the same thoughts too since he make no moves in stopping them. so the team just understands and silently look at them and wait for more.

"I dont get your obsession with drawing the team's talent or whatsoever because you ended up getting more demanding. I thought you were a setter. didnt setter usually can already feel his teammates thoughts? im here just doing what I have to do during practice and waiting for it to end like it always did but you? you just have to screw up everything. im already tired but you clearly didnt see that! just what kind of a setter who acted like a dictator and yet hes not even the leader of the team? tell me!" tsukishima yelled his frustration out. he wants this to end just so he can go back to his house and do whatever he finds interesting. and basically volleyball is not one of them.

kageyama didnt said anything after that. he felt bad and all the memories from when his old team abandoned him during a play starter clouding his mind. to make it worse he's on the verge of breaking down. his eyes are filled with tears but he held them back. hearing those things from someone you love didnt really felt the greatest.

"what? now you decided to stayed silent? why? just realizing how my words are true and theres no point in denying it? did you ever just sit back and think about how your shitty your attitude is in court? about how tired your teammates felt trying to satisfy you? this is literally the reason why your old teammate decided to abandoned you in the middle of the match. because you are so demanding and it stresses them out more than the actual game is" just when he finished saying what he needed to say, kageyama slap him. when tsukishima turn to see him, kageyama is already crying.

"YOU! out of all people in this world should know how important volleyball is to me. you should've known that theres literally nothing I can do aside from volleyball. you shouldn't have said that if you know what I went through the entire year. and then at the end? what did I get? I get abandoned. not only by my teammates but I was also abandoned by my own family. just to make things even worse, you fcking break up with me at the times when I needed you the most kei. the one person i thought that would always stay by my side. but you didn't even listen to the shit I have to tell you because you completely shut me off. I went through every single thing alone. All by myself. I practice alone, think of the best strategies for my own team on my own because I was pressured AND threatened by the coach, I came back to an empty house and freaking live alone. theres no one I can even call and relied to!! I cant even call the person I love because hes sick of me. all I ever wanted was people to appreciate my efforts even tho it's only in volleyball. I wanted YOU to be proud of me above anything else because I cant reach your level when it comes to academic. I wanted to be perfect for you and all I ever wanted was for people around me to be proud of me for the one thing I'm capable of but all I get is people abandoning me!!"

silence. theres no sound can be heard in the gym aside from kageyama's heavy breathing. everyone is just stunned with the sudden confession. not only did they just heard kageyama's biggest fear but they also heard the part where he mentioned about their break up. tsukishima and kageyama were a thing before? they were dating? since when?"

"tobio-" tsukishima breaks the silence. hes panicking but he didn't know what do to because everything is just too sudden and all he can think of is how shitty of a boyfriend he was during the time that they were dating. thats what his brain has been saying. after all never once did he ever asked how kageyama was feeling. he was indeed selfish and everything is all his fault. if only he stayed-

kageyama seems to snapped back into reality when he heard tsukishima called him by his given name. he panicked. he just spilled everything in front of the team.

"i-im sorry. I should just go home. I'm really sorry you guys have to witness such a pity side of myself" kageyama chuckled and wipe his tears. "coach, i would like to take a break from the team for the time being. again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I'll see you guys later" and with that kageyama walked out of the gym ignoring his teammates eyes and the calls.

"what the hell just happened" tanaka said as the argument really is tensed and they literally just heard something that is kept secret between tsukishima and kageyama.

"tsuki, you and kageyama-" yamaguchi said softly as to not add any more anger in tsukishima. after all tsukishima kind of had an anger issue.

"ugh fuck, yes we did." tsukishima sigh. theres really nothing he can do. everyone knows and they probably think its his fault anyways. but the team has the opposite thoughts than him

"I honestly dont know what to say" sugawara said to him. he really wanted to help but it's not in his power to do so. all he can do is give them advice.

"ha, no need. I already know it's my fault. you guys can blame me. I would gladly accept it"

"What? No" were the replies he get from his team members. he was clueless coz after all kageyama wouldnt turn into a tyrant if only he stayed and didnt leave.

"we didnt blame you. both of you were young that time it was just normal for you to feel he loved you less. but you two lack in communication which leads to this whole entire mess. idk what you two went through and how long you've been together, it's not my business. but, all I can say is that you two need some closure. and clearly none of you even moved on from the past. arguing with each other every other day isnt the healthiest way to cope with the break up. just please sort this out with him. hes in pain and so are you." enoshita who has been quite the entire time decided to speak up. he do got a point especially with that lack communication between tsukishima and kageyama. sooner or later he needed to settle this whole mess before it started to drag the entire team. kageyama is the regular player in their team, and even with sugawara who can replace him as a setter, kageyama really is needed in the team. hinata also needed kageyama.

"I know I'm the last person you want to hear this from.. but tsukishima please bring kageyama back to the team. I needed him. the team too. and I think you needed him too. so please, I will do whatever it takes to help get him back into the team" hinata cried out. after all they were the freaky duo. they relied more on one another.

"but didnt kageyama only asked to take a break? it's not like he would just quit" nishinoya chipped in. "indeed he said that, but we are not sure on how long would the break be. it can be days, weeks, months and even years." coach ukai reasoned.

"let's just stop here. you guys can go home now. I will cancel tomorrow's practice so please just take a good rest. We'll continue our practice on the day after that. And you tsukishima" coach ukai added and turn to look at tsukishima with a soft look. It was a rare sight to see but they know it's for the best

"yes?"

"idk what you are planning to do. whether you sort things out and talk to kageyama or you didnt do anything about it is up to you. just clear out your minds whenever you came intl practice. we already less in one member, we didnt need to lose another one"

"thank you coach!"

listen, idek what I'm doing but I'm just gonna post this even tho I know it was bad because honestly when I reread this I felt truly nothing lmao but my friend said it was good/okay idk dont really trust her but hey, the very least I can do is post this here so I can move on(?) welp, enjoy ig.

[smnthwrd]

i feel like im the only one who hated pacey and joeys first time?

okay actually no, the scene itself was beautiful, i loved it, but i hate the way it happened. like, they're fighting literally the entire episode and theres this awful tension between them, and i just really hate that it happened on the trip where it was expected to happen. the whole episode (and the episode before it tbh) it just felt like joey was being pressured. like the whole trip was setup to be about sex, and she never once seemed even remotely comfortable with the idea, and there was this looming pressure that we as the audience could feel, like "so, are you gonna do it? you know everyones doing it. pacey wants to do it. everyone expects you to do it." and even though in the end she did want to have sex with him, and the scene itself + the one where pacey turns down that one chick is really sweet, it just ultimately felt kind of untimely to me. i wish it had happened more naturally, without all this "will she/wont she" stuff leading up to it.

like there were almost no positive moments between them in the episode and i just didnt like that. the whole thing just gave me bad vibes. like it wasnt even a buildup of "im ready but im just scared to take the final leap" tension leading to her decision, it was just bad tension. like, the whole world is pressuring you to do something youre not ready to do yet bad. and while i do believe that she did ultimately actually want to have sex with him, i hate that the timing of her decision felt rushed because everyone expected her to do it.

i also hated that pacey seemed impatient? the whole time i was waiting for him to, just once, genuinely reassure joey that it was okay that she wasnt ready, but instead it was a lot of half-assed "whenever youre ready, but uh sooner would be better than later😬" (and he was borderlining nice-guy territory with the "look at me, look at me, i waited a whole 8 months to have sex because im such a good understanding boyfriend" as if he deserved a medal for keeping it in his pants🙄) like i know its realistic for a teenage boy to want sex, but pacey isnt meant to be a realistic teenage boy, hes this fictional fantasy of "the perfect boyfriend" and thats why so many people love him, because watching him be so understanding and sweet gives us hope that maybe, just maybe there are good guys out there. idk maybe its my asexuality talking but i hate the whole narrative that sex is the be-all end-all of every relationship.

personally think it would have been way better if joey and pacey had an actual conversation (that didnt end up in some weird passive aggressive bitch fight about dawson) where joey explained that yes, she loves pacey, but she just isnt ready yet, and pacey reassured her that its okay, that he loves her, and though he does want to have sex with her, he wants to wait until joey is ready and it feels right. then they go on to cuddle, sleep, whatever, and dont end up having sex on the trip, and thats what makes joey joey realize that she really is ready, and then the exact same scene happens, but after they get back.

but alas, thats just my opinion. idk i just really really really hate when sex seems forced or pressured at all, its an immediate turnoff for me. and joey and pacey just didnt seem like the type of couple to have sex for the first time on a senior ski trip where everyone expected them to, ya know? their whole relationship has been unique, completely unlike the "expected" teenage relationship, doing things on their own terms. theyre goofy, loyal, and they were alone on a boat for 3 months and they just read stories to eachother and slept in hammocks. idk i just kinda expected expected different from such a special couple

[linopetal]

lily calla’s.

genre : mostly angst ( ? )

pairings : na jaemin x reader

warnings : mentions of underage drinking , cursing , like one mention of making out , cheating

word count : 1.8k

authors note : oh wow :O this fic is personal in a way 2 me bc its based off of something that happened to me - today in class i saw a sight and it brought up old feelings which inspired this fic. i hope you enjoy it <3 !

you vividly remember the first time you had met na jaemin. it was your first day in the first grade. you had been so nervous. you were often quite , not outgoing at all , you didnt know how to react when you walked into a classroom full of people. everyone had introduced themselves. but one person stuck out to you , na jaemin. you remember the smile plastered on his face when the bell rang for recess. you ran straight towards the monkey bars. when you looked right behind you , there he was. he slowly walked up towards you with a big welcoming smile on his face, “ hi im jaemin , nice to meet you “ he said. “ oh um im y/n “ you nervously spoke. that had been your first encounter with the black haired boy. and that had been the start of your blossoming love for him.

in the sixth grade , your mom took you to a halloween carnival. you vividly remember the purple and black witch costume your mom made you. you loved that costume. halloween was one of your favorite holidays and times of the year , you always loved trick or treating and getting candy. your mom had decided to take you to a near by carnival. as soon as you got there , you ran to find soonyoung , your best friend since kindergarten. “ y/n do you want to go play go fish ? “ , soonyoung asked you. “ of course “ , you responded. you remember your poor skills of attempting to throw the ping pong ball into the water. after 5 tries you finally decided to give up. but around that time , you saw in the corner if your eye jaemin walking up to you. you had felt butterflies overcrowd your heart. “ hey y/n , i beat i can win you one ! “ he said joyfully. and again you were so happy. you remember him winning you a goldfish. you decided to name it nana after him. you kept that goldfish for years.

in the tenth grade , you remember that you were finally planning to confess. after years of being in denial for how you felt , you finally accepted it was time to tell him. you were mistaken. you and jaemin were only mutual friends , never reaching passed that stage. you didnt talk consistently. so you were taken aback when he randomly walked up to you one day during lunch. you thought that maybe this could be a good time. he looked happy today , maybe you would not receive a bad response. again , you were mistaken. when he finally reached you , he said words that broke you just a little , “ hey y/n ! do you know what somin’s favorite flower is ? i heard you two were friends and i wanted to get her something for her birthday since i kind of like her “ , he said nervously , scratching his head. you gulped , completely overwhelmed with feelings. of course you were happen he liked someone. somin was always kind and funny. how could he not like her ? she was particularly perfect. in this moment , you felt far from even remotely decent. you sighed and looked up with a fake smile , “ of course ! she always told me how she loves lily calla’s ! “ , you said , attempting to try your best at acting fine. beauty....thats what they represent , somin was beautiful. you were decent. she offered more than you could ever. “ thank you y/n “ he smiled and walked off.

you remember how you dreaded the eleventh grade. that year was something you could never forget. jaemin and somin were known as the best couple there was in the school. in class , they always were hand in hand every second and you hated it. it had been so many years yet you still loved him. and how ? you dont even know. but during that school year , you had finally decided something.

you had noticed this boy in your algebra class. his name was lee donghyuck. he was always so funny. he made jokes that could make you laugh endlessly. one day you had decided to ask him out. you knew you werent over jaemin , but you also knew you never had a chance. so you told yourself “ fuck it “ and went for it.

it was an impulsive decision, did it matter to you tho ? no. you nervously walked up to donghyuck with your hands in your pocket as he was putting his books in his locker. “ what do you want y/n “ , he said smirking “ “ hm i was thinking about if you want to go out with me on friday night ? “ you tilted your head towards him , “ i guess so “ he said smiling , “ see you then at eight , pick me up “ you said.

those were all members because now its your senior year and you finally had a boyfriend , couldnt you be more happy ? truthfully , you werent as happy as you planned. you were not over jaemin. you didnt think you ever would be. you tried to fall for hyuck , it was just hard. jaemin had been your one sided first love. but you still tried to love hyuck.

there was a party hyucks friend jaehyun was throwing. he had asked you to come as his date. you were beyond excited since parties with donghyuck had become a usual thing. he had helped you branch out of your shell and get out and experience things more. you were grateful.

you had decided to bring him coffee this morning to discuss him letting you stay at his place friday night after the party. as you were walking up to him , you noticed the change in his mood. why had he been acting strange lately ? for the last week , every time he looked at you , he seemed so uncomfortable as if he didnt want to be around you. you chose to ignore it and let it be. “ hey i brought you coffee like you like it “ , you said smiling “ thanks “ he said shortly , you chose to think he wasnt having a good day. after a few minutes of dry responses from him , you got fed up and left for class , you hoped this week didnt suck.

wrong. friday came along and you felt unusually odd. soonyoung had messaged you about her coming over to get ready for the party with you. as soon as you heard the doorbell ring , you ran towards it. “ soonyoung hi come in “ , “ you look so good “ you said “ no you please “ you both laughed and headed to your room to get ready. “ hey soonyoung , im starting to feel like donghyuck doesnt like me anymore “ you said pouting , “ really , ive seen the way he has acted lately. i hope its just a short phase “ she said patting your shoulder , “ yea me too “ you said slightly smiling. “ you look so hot woah come on lets go “ she said.

arriving at the party , you went straight to find hyuck. you had asked a couple of people where he could have been yet you hot no replies. you decided to wait it out and hopefully he would show up later. you went to grab a drink for yourself when all of a sudden you ran into someone “ oh- oh wait im so sorry “ you said , “ oh no its fine “ the male said and i soon as you looked at him you noticed it was jaemin , “ oh hi jaemin “ “ hi “ he said while chuckling , “ have you seen donghyuck “ “ have you seen somin “ you both said in unison. laughing you both shook your heads no. he looked so beautiful , you thought. you looked so pretty , jaemin thought.

“ well im going to go look for donghyuck “ you waves bye and headed towards the upstairs. you thought maybe he went to use the bathroom. again , wrong. as you walked farther up the stairs , you noticed heavy breathing. at first you were concerned so you made your way to the room you heard it from. as soon as you cracked the door open , you were met with a sight you didnt think you would ever have to see. somin and hyuck in a heavy make out session. “ what the literal fuck “ you steadily said loudly as you opened the door. “ yn i swear its not what you - “ hyuck tried to say but someone cut you off. “ what’s happening here ? “ a male said. as you turned around jaemin was right behind you. “ jaemin - are you sure “ he softly pushed you aside and witnessed the sight for himself. “ what the hell somin ?! i did nothing to you and you pull this shit. “ he said angrily , “ its not my fault you are inlove with the fucking bitch behind you. i needed someone who could love me not you “ she spat out. “ w-what “ you said. “ jaemin you l-love me ? “ you eyes widened. you heart swelled. you didnt know what to feel so you just run outside with him running after you. “ yn wait please ! “ he scream , “ you waited so long ? jaemin why didnt you tell me earlier ? “ you said out of breathe , “ because we never talked , okay i didnt think you liked me back and i still dont think you do “ he said , “ jaemin ive been inlove with you for as long as i can remember. “ you said tearing up and walking towards him , “ r-really ? “ , you nodded hugging him “ yes jaemin , i love you “ he smiled back at you and kissed your forehead , “ i love you too , now come on let me take you home before you get so cold “ he said “ your too perfect na jaemin , too perfect “ you both smiled. “ oh and jaemin , lily calla’s were always my favorite “ you said softly smiling , “ yea ive always known “ . many things were wrong in this world. you and jaemins mere love for each other was not one of them.

[thereindeerlady]

I've got modern day college au Zukka Headcannons that NONE of you asked for but here you go!

Everybody seems to agree that Sokka would be an Engineer major but y'all, Sokka isnt just an engineer guy. Hes a true Jack of All Trades who would most definitely be a double major kid. I think he'd have Engineering as one major and maybe a minor in special effects. I mean how many times did he help create special effects to trick other people into thinking somebody was bending fire or earth or whatever? At least 2. And thats enough for me 😂 Genuinely, Sokka would be that Engineering/Special Effects kid with a 2nd minor in like software design. I dunno. Hes too smart for his own good.

Zuko however; everybody says he would be an english major. And I mean i see it i guess? But nah. This boy would definitely have a major in Business/Law something or other, and i feel like he would have a minor or second major in communications.

Zuko would most definitely teach martial arts classes to kids on weekends. This is not up for debate.

Sokka is the kind of guy who everybody would know. Whether his campus is big or small, everybody has had an interaction with Sokka. Its almost like he can sense when somebody close by is too stressed or emotional bc he gravitates towards them and cheers them up.

Sokka has been known to randomly show up at your dorm door in a onesie and a basket of cookies if he notices youve been spending too much time in the library.

However nobody has ever seen him set foot in the library on a weekday so no one is really sure HOW he knows.

I dont make the rules but Zuko was most definitely a theater kid in high school. Sokka was theater tech even though hes actually a really good actor. He just enjoyed teching more.

Zuko had a private education at a high end school until his last two years of high school when he went to live with his uncle and went to a public school. He loved to read a lot and actually studied many many plays in his private school and found out he enjoyed acting in his junior and senior year.

This of course also means that Zuko can sing :)))

Sokka can too and hes good at it but nobody has ever really heard him sing bc its one of those things hes private about.

Sokka was a public school kid 100% and he was The Mother Hen™ that kids would flock to in the halls and at lunch. He was the one everyone felt comfortable talking to about anything. This also means he knew almost every closeted and out gay kid in school.

Back on the subject of private school Zuko, he was always one of those Rich, Untouchable kids with bad boy vibes. When he joined public school, everyone there realized he was just a really awkward kid who had a 6 year edgelord faze.

Did i mention the high school Zuko goes to is the same one the gaang attended?

When they all end up at the same university, Sokka and Zuko actually agree to room together bc they become really good friends in high school.

Zuko didnt come out to Sokka until they were sophomores in college to which Sokka replied, "Dont be mad but i already knew"

Sokka has been proudly out for years at that point but he still comes out again to Zuko.

Junior year, they get an apartment. They both actually take turns cooking because, as it turns out, they're both really good cooks.

Neither of them can drive very well tho 👀

In terms of nationality, i kinda see Zuko as Asian and Sokka as more of native/islander or a little bit of hispanic influence even? Definitely something with a lot of tribal heritage. Maybe Mayan and Hawaiian or smth? I dunno, I havent done enough research on that part yet.

The SIGNIFICANCE though is cooking. They both kinda share their authentic cooking and recipes and teach each other. So between them they come up with these blended culture foods

Yall i forgot the word culture for a whole 5 minutes there

Sokka being the strategist he is gets along very well with Uncle Iroh whenever he and Zuko go to visit their families. They both practically live at Iroh and Sokka's family's home. Iroh and Sokka spend a LOT of time playing Pai Sho and chess and other board games whereas Zuko has lots of fun discussing literature and whatnot with Sokkas fam

About that: Zuko is the cuddliest little shit. He and Sokka have been cuddling and constantly physically affectionate for almost as long as theyve known each other.

Junior year of college is actually when they go on their first date. Sokka is of course naturally flirty so when Zuko finally notices (or is told) that Sokka doesnt flirt with anyone the way he does with Zuko, the wonderful conversation goes as:

"Wait are you flirting with me? For real?"

"Have been for 4 and a half years but thanks for noticing"

Sokka genuinely has liked this cute intelligent dumbass for 4 and a half years. Zuko almost cries when Sokka tells him that

Thats when Zuko finally tells him the whole story of why he's living with his uncle.

Zuko was so touch starved and so used to not being loved and chosen first that Sokka's constant unconditional love just overwhelmed him.

This has been Zukka College Au headcanons with Lydia, thank you for coming to my tedtalk

[tomdiddlyumptious]

i know youre just as obsessed with the save your tears song as me, please make a fic with peter of it🙏🏾😭

lololol sorry i got this a while ago, but yes. i have an unhealthy obsession with this song. 

P.P~ Save Your Tears

warnings: none?? language??

words- 1.8k

You and peter...you and peter were special. When there was peter, there was you. No matter where you went, no matter where he went, you both were with each other, until you werent. 

“Y/n, i love you but i need this college, it means so much to me, tony wants me to go-” “tony wants you to go? He matters more then me? Peter ive been with you since forever” you said, tears pooling from your eyes, standing up in his room while he sat on his bunkbed- his cheeks and nose red as he looked at you. “So this is what its about, making tony proud? What about me peter? What about me?!” you waited for his answer, but when he didnt say anything, you just gave him an empty, sad look, a shocked look,”so this is it, huh? You go to college and you leave me and may in shitty new york, and for what?” you chuckled, “to make your” you did quote on quote “dad proud?” he became angered, staring daggers at you. “He cares about you but i clearly care more, you wouldnt even be thinking about college if it wasnt for me. Youd be stuck as spiderman still trying to make him proud!” you laughed.

“Peter, did you hear what i said, “STILL PROUD”. He doesnt even give you fuckin validation. You know what. Fuck you, have fun in missouri, i hope you make him proud” you said, stomping out and slamming the door behind you, power walking out and accidently ignoring may with your own crowded thoughts while you walked out.

But that was 2 years ago. 

You went to a college in Atlanta, peter long forgot, you and ned decided to go together. So there was a huge party in Atlanta, Harry knew about it causing Peter to know about it too. 

“Yeah theres this huge party in atlanta and i wanted to go” he said, in the kitchen of the apartment, eating chips as he looked at peter, who had his textbook in his hands and his glasses on, he looked at harry “your going out of state...just for a stupid party?” he said, his eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah i go every year,” “and your telling me this….for?”

“I want you to come with me” harry smiled, walking over and hopping on the couch while peter set his text book on the coffee table “i dont think so” he said, “oh come on! The most baddest chicks are their peter! And you need to get over y/n-” “shut up, harry” peter looked at him with a clenched jaw, your name was his kryptonite, making him weak in his stomach and his knees woozy as if they were gonna fall out. “Look, your doing it again” harry called him out. “Ive dated her for over 7 years harry, what am i supposed to do, toss her in the trash?” “Yes actually” he shrugged, making peter grumble before taking off his glasses and setting them down. “i’ll think about it” “i’ll pack your bag” harry did a quick grin at him before standing up and tossing the chips at peters chest. 

So there they are, moving into another apartment for three days, only taking out a few pairs of clothes and leaving it on the bed. “Party is tomorrow, we need drinks and stuff” “if its a huge party what do we need to buy stuff for?” peter asked, harry said, “You're too innocent” before walking off. 

“Ned! I do not need a plus one!” “it wont be a plus one it’ll be a plus two!” “im not going in there as a throuple” you turned to him, he didnt want you to look lonely inside of the party, so why not just go on an open date with betty and him? Because it weird, or thats atleast what you thought. You picked out your dress, your body has changed since senior year, making your curves more evident, which you didnt mind, it was nice. The dress was quite tight in the right places, making you feel confident, you asked betty how it looked, she said if she was a lesbian shed try to dig, which was unusual for someone like her to say that, but youd take it. “Are you sure, y/n?” he asked, genuinely, you turned to him and sincerely nodded. “Yes, thank you” 

And so there it was, harry and peter went to buy the drinks, two bottles of each just for home, which harry made peter try, peter wasnt pleasant but harry said hed need it. 

So there the party was, harry helping peter pick something out, making sure it wasnt too “nerdy” which ended up in harry having to give peter something to wear, an oversized orange shirt and jeans, a black hat backwards and some of peters normal shoes, vans. “Im proud of my creation” harry said while they both looked in the mirror, peter sighed in disgust “i hate you” “love you too bud” 

You and ned got ready, helping him out with which colognes he should use, you made him help you out with the makeup, it was a simple black dress but there was no harm in trying to pop it out, “red” “red? Are you sure? Does it bring out my skin??” you said, he nodded “wear it! And hurry! We have to pick up betty!”

It was 9 o’clock, the party already started as you and your best friends pushed past people to get something to drink, but one drink turned into two, and then to three, and then continuing on. Ned ended up with red lipstick and lip marks all over his face and a tie around his eyes, everyone cheering him on when he was in a drinking competition with the famous gregory, of course ned won, making the boys chant his ned “ned ned ned ned!” and you were in the front row with betty, a red cup in your hand and everyone letting out a deep “wooooo!” and whistles when ned stuck his arms out in the air before taking the tie off, you laughed as the party stopped the challenges and it was dancing time, so betty pulled you to the dance floor, you let out an “ahhh!” as in you didnt wanna dance but she gave you a stern look “loosen up” she smiled, dancing around and her grin widened when you started to slowly loosen up, drinking the forbidden juice in your cup before you threw it wherever.

Peter and harry finally arrived, drinks in hand as he looked around, “there really is hot chicks” peter said making harry laugh hysterically before grabbing a cup for peter. “Just make sure you leave before i do” “yuck” harry passed the cup to peter, and he took a sip, his throat burning before he looked at harry “dont give up, the party has just started! I have to use the bathroom” harry walked off, peter looked around at the different sections, he could sit on the couch but there was people making out there, he could join some of the shot gunning but it was clear they were already thirty drinks in, which left him to the dance floor. 

Dancing in the crowded hall, stood you, as before, his stomach turned and his knees felt woozy as his mouth slightly opened, it was really you. Your hips moving loosely with a huge smile on your face, you looked so much more happier without him, he started to feel bad, his mind coming to memories before you caught him looking at you, making your movements falter. Your mouth open with shock, a single tear coming down your face before he called out your name, you ignored him walking the other way. “Dammit!” he said, placing down the cup he didnt need before pushing past people, he could see the back of your head, he groaned when a girl pushed him “watch where your going dumbass!” she said, peter ignored her and came upstairs still following you, now into an empty hallway “Y/N!- Y/N- i know you can hear me theres literally nobody else in this fucking hallway!” he said, his walking stopped as yours did to, you looked back at him, turning to him. “Please” you made eye contact with him, your face empty as no words came out of your mouth, you walked to him, a hopeful smile on his face, until you walked passed him, your shoulder thumping against his that made him fall, he looked back at you and furrowed his eyebrows, his heart shattered in pieces as he swore he heard it break like glass, it was already cracked. 

You could have asked him why he broke your heart

You could've told him that you fell apart

But you walked past him like he wasn't there

And just pretended like you didn't care.

He ran away from you and now it was your turn, you told yourself not to cry, to save your tears for another day, or for another, he wasnt worth it, at least thats what you told yourself. He watched as you disappeared, sadness engulfing him as he sat against the wall. “Fuck” he ran his hands through his hair before he looked your direction again, tears threatning to roll down his cheeks as he couldnt believe that happened, but it was his fault, and once he noticed that, he broke down in tears.

he made you think that he would always stay

He said some things that he should've never said

 He broke your heart like someone did to his, 

And now you won't love him for a second time.

He didnt know it would make you cry when he ran away, he didnt even know why he ran away. He wanted to chase after you, for you to take him back because this time he really wanted to stay, two years, much too late. He didnt deserve you, you deserved better, not someone who left you for someone he didnt even talk to anymore, tony. 

“Save your tears, y/n” you told yourself, but you couldn't take it, you ran to your car and opened the door, getting in the driver's seat you cried, slamming the door shut as your back hunched and you hit the hunk, kicking and hitting the steering wheel until you couldn't anymore, tears ruining your makeup as you looked at yourself through the rear view, your hair a mess, your eyeliner ruined, you, ruined. you couldn't save your tears, you couldn't save them for another day, or another. Peter, the love of your life, ran away, and you cant love him again, because, he broke you.

[unlocktxt]

hi 😄 i saw your reblog and i want to ask the same thing: what was your first impression of your moots?

First i want to say that I may of gotten a littleeeee carried away. I wanted to include as many people as possible, but some I don’t have enough to say. Despite this I might add more. I’ve met so many various people on this app and I’ve loved interacting with them all or just seeing them around. So much so that I can’t list everybody. I really love all my moots and there are so many of them that I’ll forever be grateful for. (yes i added a keep reading because this was so long and please excuse my gramtical errors)

@hoes4hoseok - our first impression was playing among us WHICH WAS SO FUN. I don’t remember much about talking to her in the game BUT I do remember that she was the first one to ever make the group chat filled with those who played with us. honestly I’m so grateful that she did that because I wouldn’t have been able to become friends with her and many others. I remember thinking that she was beyond kind and that she was good with trying to include everyone. After that I just remember hearing her voice and then DYING because she has a wonderful voice. I felt as though I related to you just a bit. Now I’ve gotten to see different aspects of her and really value her as a person and friend. She keeps things real and is so helpful. Sometimes I wish I could see what goes on inside her head because sometimes I think she reserves herself or overthinks and I’d like to give her a big hug.

@binniebutter - amie... oh amie 🙄 just kidding 😂 amie well... I also met her while playing among us in that same group. we played a lot with each other and I find that nice BECAUSE I CANT REMEMBER WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT DURING THE FIRST TIME WE PLAYED. I think I do remember laughing about her and gen tho. In our first gc I remember thinking that she had a bright personality and could keep the conversation going. I also find out we live about an hour away so I was able to connect with her about that (I also was so excited just because IVE NEVER MET AN ONLINE FRIEND IN THE SAME STATE) After that we played among us a lot together and I just remember thinking amie was EVIL. She was funny though and I felt comfortable around her. Now... I honestly think I’m pretty close to amie emotionally. It’s very rare that I put down my guard and talk to someone about certain things (I don’t really think I’ve talked to her about certain things tho) I still feel as though I can talk to her or that I can cry or rant to her without feeling judged. I don’t know how much she’s come to me about, but anytime I try to comfort her i feel like I get to know her better. I usually don’t start joking with my friends and being “rude” to them unless I know that they know I love them, which is why I’m starting to show amie sarcasm at times ☺️ I may of written too much 😅

@hyukaite I ACTUALLY REMEMBER MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF KAT. oml we’d send asks every now and then and I remember thinking she was a crack head. From the videos I’d see her post to that one drawing. Man if only I could go all the way back to it, but it was monthssss ago. I also remember relating to her about having to help our sisters with math 💀. I wanted to be her friend after seeing her interact with some of my other moots, but I was too shy to actually message her so I stuck with sending in asks every now and then 😂 then we started playing among us together. I remember thinking “NOOOO SHE STOLE YELLOW” which led to me falling in love with the dark green among us color JFKAJFLW. After that I remember getting betrayed by her in the game SO MANY TIMES. she killed me during the Simon says task... to tell you what grudge I hold... I still remember it. ITS SUCH A HARD TASK AND SHE DIDNT LET ME FINISH IT. She also killed me in electrical when I thought she was INNOCENT. Now... kat I don’t even know how to describe her. She has many aspects to her that I love. She also is able to help me think straight whenever I let my anger get to me.

@yawnjunie - I thought she was shy at first because when I first met her she didn’t talk much, so I felt bad because I thought she didn’t feel all that welcomed by us (no specific reason we were just introduced to blu so abruptly 😂) After that I think I was intimidated by her at first JFJAKFJERI. We also compared our schools and our grade mindset which I think really opened my eyes a little bit more. I still believe she’s really smart Zknfaltn. She makes me laugh though and she also started the network moacabinet. She’s really sweet with so many ideas, but I feel bad because sometimes I think she gets stressed easily. She’s not on much, but everytime she’s online I’m blessed with her presence.

@kkuming - gigiiiii! my first impression of gigi was fairly simple. We met on the au group chat and she seemed really sweet. I wanted to try and give gigi a warm welcome and make sure she felt comfortable. I wish I remembered more about our first meeting. I DO HOWEVER remember thinking she was v v innocent. I sat back and watched gigi get thrown into the group and laughed my ass off at how she interacted with kat. I was worried that because the others were already so comfortable with her and joking around about things that she may actually think that the “divorce” or whatever it was that kat and her had would make her upset, so I wanted to remind her that I appreciated her Zofnakfjeof. She also was taking a lot of stressful classes so I could only hope this girl didn’t die underneath all that stress. Now I- she’s crazy guys. Just kidding 😂 she’s still really sweet and jokes around with all of us. I’m glad she’s online a lot more now. she’s also really funny.

@lipbeom - I’m like 99.9% sure rynn was the first person I ever really talked to on tumblr. I thought she was a really good writer and saw that she was a senior as well, so I was glad that I wasn’t the only one on tumblr that was going to suffer through the last year of school. I was so glad when she messaged me first like Y’ALL HAVE NO IDEA. When I first met her I remember thinking she was really sweet AND BEYOND SMART. I’m really grateful for rynn and I actually miss her a lot because I feel like I don’t interact with her as much as I should. She was very supportive and still is. It’s only been a few months since I first talked with her but I’m reminiscing 😂 She also got me hooked on selling sunset WHICH WAS AMAZING but I was talking like the girls on the show for WEEKSSSSSSS.

@bbhyeoliskooks - I don’t really remember how I came across her, but I realized she was a new moa writer and wanted to check her out. My first impression... hmmm I guess you could say that I believed she was very grateful even when she didn’t have to be. Sometimes she makes me feel old 💀 but she’s reminds me a little bit of my sister... just way sweeter. She’s very loyal and anytime you tell her you’ve posted something oml she’s wonderful. She’s the type of person who is really supportive and I appreciate that, but sometimes I feel like I don’t give her enough of ittttt. I really need to go stalk her blog now as for some reason I don’t see her notifs half the time. I’m really proud of her and think she’s one of the sweetest people on tumblr NOT TO MENTION SHE SINGS BEAUTIFULLY.

@txthearteu - oml cj 😂 she is also one of the first people I talked to on tumblr. I don’t really remember our first impression tho :/. I DO REMEMBER I READ ONE OF HER STORIES THO and i sent an ask about it because she deserved the recognition for it. Hmmm at first I believe I was intimidated because she is older than me 😂 however she was so extremely sweet and I loved talking to her. I tried talking about various different things with her because I wanted our conversation to continue hehe. She stays feeding me 😌 and even if I can’t physically eat del taco I get full off of the love and support cj gives me. My eyes light up when I see her in my notifs. I think she deserves the world and I always want to be there for her. I don’t think I can ever repay her for the love she’s given me.

@sung4oon - SAM I SWEAR IF YOU CHANGE UR URL BEFORE I HAVE A CHANCE TO POST THIS! I met her when her url was... 👁👄👁 lixxie sumtin. I think it was lixieebear. I truly don’t remember her first impression 💀 the only thing I remember was thinking that she was also a crack head. She was really funny and sweet and DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE WHOLE BRAINCELL THING. I should’ve given her my brain cells for christmas. I still think she’s really fun to talk to and I literally try to remind myself as much as possible that I need to go stop by and send an ask every now and then. Even so she still says hi to me ☺️

@beomiebear5 - R A I N A. hehehehehehe I actually love this first impression for me. At the time I saw her anon asks to rynn. I saw that she was going to start posting stuff on her blog soon and she gave a hint about how to find her. Ofc I let rynn do that herself BUT I went searching KFJSIFIWFKW I couldn’t help it I saw it as a challenge. My first impression was rlly just that she was sweet. Then after a while KFJAOFJWOF I really love interacting with her and seeing her rants. Gosh she’s so funny and ✨inspires✨ me. I’m always down to talk to her because she’s amazing and sweet.

@magicisland9-34 - lillie ☺️ I honestly don’t remember our first impression? I do however remember when she first sent an ask! I would always get so excited when I got an ask from her 😂 I loved talking to her and she let me ramble on and on. Whether that be about gymnastics or ballet. Once again even lillie is sweet, but she’s betrayed me for siding with amie about Christmas 😤. She’s also one of the people that I try to remind myself to go and visit their blog and see what they’ve posted.

@spookybias - if I remember correctly gen was the first one who reblogged my about me post, which ended up allowing others on this app to see that I was a new writing blog. She was also one of the first people I followed and one of the first who followed me, so I was really grateful and thought she was beyond helpful and nice. I also really believe she’s a great writer and i admired how she would tell things how they are. She’s always been sweet to me even if she’s threatened to shoot me a while back 😤. OH YEAH we also played among us together in that group as well and I always suspected her at one point. IT WAS BECAUSE THE ONE TIME I TRUSTED HER SHE KILLED ME.

@bffsoobin - My first impression of Sara was pretty simple like I found her blog and fell in love. she writes so well and I’ve loved everything I’ve read from her. I thought she was really pretty and pretty funny too. When she’d talk about some of her stories revolving school it honestly made my day as well. I admire her especially because she’s such a good writer and LET ME TELL YOU when she followed me back I think I did a little cheer. I was reading her fics before I even started writing on tumblr.

@soobcxre - I saw Sara around because we had a lot of moots in common and when I saw them interact I would just think about how I wanted to befriend her 😂. When she texted me I got so excited, but I WAS SO CAUGHT UP IN SCHOOL TOO. She’s also really sweet ajfjwkfjw and I’m glad to have met her.

@lovesickchoi - MADDIE 🤩 I.... I don’t remember my first impression of her 🥲. It may of revolved around asks? I think I ended up trying to get to know her more at the time I was trying to get to know yoonie. I say this because I remember always seeming to get their urls mixed up... I think it’s because the h at the beginning. I LITERALLY DONT REMEMBER HOW WE STARTED INTERACTING. She’s also an amazing writer tho! Now I still think she’s sweet and we’ve talked about yeonbin together 😂.

@sunoo-luvs - 🥺 zaara JFJAJRKSKF literally my first impression was “cute.” That still stands btw. She’s absolutely the sweetest and is really considerate of others IM SCARED BECAUSE SHE MAY APOLOGIZE FOR THINGS THERES NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR. Even so she can easily add happiness to people’s day with just a hi and a hug.

@i2gyu - I- first impression: scary. IM KIDDING wait... actually even though that was a joke because she used to stop by and say “boo” I MAY OF ACTUALLY FELT INTIMIDATED BY HER AT FIRST. I think one of the first times we interacted was about a network and at the time I was ready to join a network SO I FELT SO BAD FOR SAYING NO. Afterwards tho I realized how nice she was and I always end up getting a little energetic once I see she’s sent in an ask. One day I’m scared I won’t see her change her url or blog, but that’s if she does again.

@fairycore-gyu - I haven’t interacted with anyone new recently and when I saw kira that obviously changed 😂. I related to her with music taste and stuff. LET ME TELL YOU when someone seems to have the same music taste I JUST my eyes light up. She was really welcoming and I instantly felt like I could message her anytime. I also just realized she’s a pisces 🥺.

@yoonjunie - I just remember thinking ooooo new moa writer! I think anyone who comes across her can say she’s very welcoming and sweet + she deserves everything she has. I really just wanted to support her 😂 I need to interact with her more and read more from her blog.

@hyeyoonwrites - yoonie 🥺 AHHHH okay 😂 first impression: LITERALLY THE SWEETEST. I know I’ve said that so many people here are sweet but yoonie is a different kind of sweet. I don’t know every single time I’ve interacted with her has felt like a soft hug. She’s supported me a lot and I really need to check up on her more frequently I feel guilty about it aifoshf.

@txtextme - gon I- even though we haven’t talked much she’s extremely funny and relatable. she just has this vibe that I love about her. I know I don’t have much to say, but I had to add her because she’s left an impact.

@yeonbins - VIVI HAS WONDERFUL GIFS. Every now and then I’ll see her post some stuff just talking and akfjskf. I mainly remember (I think) Starbucks getting her name wrong. Her names so pretty tho. I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH OLDER SHE WAS THAN ME. I also played among us with her for a lil... I was scared she was gonna murder me 😂.

[unloved-cadillac]

Leather Jackets and Glasses

Y/n L/n, the leader of the notorious gang called The Scouts. Placed in Rose high, Y/n is in her senior year but things take a turn when she starts getting interested in a certain boy named, Levi Ackerman. Follow the journey of heartbreak, betrayal and love between two people who were destined to be together.   

CHAPTER ONE:

There’s always someone out there made for everyone. This is something i highly believe in. Every person has their person. A boy could have had this childhood friend, who later in life turned out to be more than that. The girl who kissed her best friend because she had never had her first kiss and wanted to get it over with, only for her best friend to pull her closer and kiss her harder. Everyone had that someone. it was only a matter of time before we all found them. But sometimes, its not always that easy. Things happen that are out of your control. You won’t speak to them for long periods of time, bad fights, leaving. And this almost always happens before you get together. That’s the bad part. But that’s the wake up call to tell you that “hey. I care for this person more than myself. I need them. I can’t loose them”.

I loved the idea of love. But I never spoke on it. It made me seem weak and soft and, that’s something i did not want a GANG to know. But i have had my fair share of boyfriends, no love just a quick fuck here and there but there was one boy who captured my heart without even trying. He did so effortlessly you would think he was the biggest player out there. But no. That was just who Levi Ackerman was. 

It all began in my senior year of high school. The year had just started and i had nothing to be afraid of. My gang, The Scouts, were the notorious gang of Rose. I was their leader, mostly because my father was the main leader of The Scouts. He was The Godfather. I’d like to say that I did fairly well in school, but not A plus material, I just wanted to graduate and get outta there. This year was mostly about forming new relationships, clearing the air to certain people, and just making amends. But some people also wanted to confess to their someone. I dont want to brag or anything, but i had a lot of people wanting to be with me. Boys would try their luck and i only gave a few chances to a few people, and well, it never turned out good, mostly because my dad found something wrong with them, wanted them to join the gang or they were too scared to take things further. 

I loved the gang. They were my family. And plus I could get anything I wanted. I was a princess. In my senior I made a promise to myself that I would not date. Anyone. No matter who much they begged. Because when I hit 17, my life in the gang became a whole lot dangerous. Shootouts would occur at my house, I would get kidnapped and sometimes they would use my friends to threaten me. It was horrible to say the least. And I could ony imagine what they would do if i had a special someone. God. I would not want my someone to have this life. As great as it is material wise, shit gets serious in a split second. My dad had warned me about it. He said that the only way i would get involved with someone is if he had picked them. And naturally i told him, i just wouldnt get a boyfriend, much to his displeasure. 

Of course, my school had heard about the little, mishaps my gang had endured and that resulted in me having this huge reputation in school. I was labelled as: dangerous. I’m not gonna lie to you and say that I didnt get into fights, or break some bitches nose because they offended me. I was still a gangster, fighting is in my blood. I got suspended. A lot. And apparently, that attracted Levi. 

I had seen him around town and school. He would always be in the cafe around the corner of Trost. I knew that because my brother owned that cafe. Marco had nothing to do with the gang. He wasn’t my father’s child so my dad wasn’t so concerned about him. He was from my mothers first marriage, but that never stopped us from being brother and sister. My mother left me after three years and went back to Marco’ father.

Levi was one of the smartest people at school. Always getting awards but he never seemed to go for the functions. He had kept to himself most of the time. He had his close friends. To name them there was Farlan(his brother), Isabel(Farlan’s girlfriend),Hange(the crazy science geek) and Erwin, the jock.

The first time I actually had spoken to Levi was in Physics. I was running late because I was caught up in beating someone up at the back of the school for reasons I shall not say. I ran into the classroom, out of breathe. Everyone looked at me. Some snickered but when I shot them a quick glare, they shut up.

-Ah Ms L/n. How nice of you to join us.

My professor told me, voice laced with sarcasm.

-uh..sorry. I was busy..lost track of time.

I explained. I winced all of a sudden when I looked at my knuckles. Bleeding. Of course. But I kept that hand behind my back.

-hm. Get to a seat.

He said a bit irritated. I walked away to find one and the only one that was available was the last one by the window. I sat down and realized that..I didn’t bring my books. I cursed myself then I turned to my left and saw a boy sitting there taking notes. He seemed really into his work though, but shit, I needed something to write on.

-hey.

I say to capture his attention. He stops writing and slowly looks towards me. He seems really...shy?

-can I borrow a page? And pencil?

I ask him. He widens his eyes and quickly tears a page from his book and digs in his pencil case for a pencil. He finds one and hands me the objects.

-thanks,man.

He simply nods, a faint blush forming on his cheeks but I couldn’t really see it because he put his head down and his long ass bangs hid most of his face. I take a second to observe him. A simple t-shirt, black jeans with converse and cute pair of glasses. His hair was sort of, jet black. I smirk. I knew him. He was one of those top students.

-alright. I’m gonna pass out your tests.

My professor suddenly says. “Fuck”, I mentally curse. I hated physics. I never got the gist of it. I only knew those Newton’s Laws. But I knew that wasn’t enough. He walks around passing papers and comes to me. He looks at my paper, fucking ‘scoffs’, and hands me my paper. A 57. That’s what I got. I didn’t think it was that bad, but this teacher is makingit seem as if the world had just caught on fire and its pissing me off. Looks like someone’s car is getting wrecked today.

-Levi, well done. Keep it up.

I hear him say to the boy. Ah. Levi. That was his name. I reach over and see his mark. 97. Goddamn. He was smart smart.

-a 97? Holy fuck. I could never.

I tell him. He looks at me, kinda stunned. I must admit, if he took off those glasses, it would be one of those scenes in those shitty teen movies where the nerd removes their glasses to reveal they look like a model. But he still looks cute. I looked at him tilting my head to the side.

-what?

I ask him. He shakes his head and looks back down. What a strange one. Suddenly I flinch and look at my bruised knuckles. Fuck they were bleeding. I pat down my pockets on my jeans and check my inside pocket of my leather jacket. How marvelous. I didn’t bring a handkerchief. So I just hold the bruise down to stop the bleeding. Maybe I can make it 45 minutes. All of a sudden I see a handkerchief next to my arm. I look at it, confused, but I take it anyway. I look at Levi. He has a smile, tiny smile. Yeah, he gave me it.

-Thank you.

I tell him. I saw him visibly tense but he looks at me and smiles. I felt...warm. What was this feeling? It’s weird. I have never experienced this before. I don’t know if I want to throw this feeling away or like it. But I promised myself that I wouldn’t get involved with anyone. I may be an asshole, but I would NEVER want anyone to join a gang. Especially my person.

Throughout the day I kept my eye on Levi. I don’t know why I did, but it was just something I found myself doing. The gang and I were chilling on the stands by the football field.

-Ugh! I just want school to finish already! I can’t take it anymore.

Eren says. He was fairly new to the gang, after I found him beating up a kid in an alleyway I recruited him. He’s super hyper and gets worked up easily so he was a good asset to us.

-and I can’t take you complaining anymore.

Jean shoots back. Jean and Eren almost never got along. But I kept them in line.

-both of you shut up.

My right hand woman says. Mikasa. She matched me in strength, but she never dared put me off. We all knew that Jean had a crush on Mikasa, but he never had the balls to say anything. I ignored them and kept my eyes on the boy on the first stand. He was with Hange and Isabel, I take it he was watching Erwin and Farlan train.

-what do you say, Y/n?

Eren asks me. I look at him after a while.

-say what?

I ask.

-you seem to be staring an awful lot lately. Who caught our oh so powerful leader’s eyes?

Eren hops down to where I’m sitting.

-shut up.

I tell him and look back at the field. Eren follows my eyes.

-oh is it Erwin? I’m not gonna lie, he is hot.

-Gay much, Eren?

Jean says as he sits next to me.

-fuck off, horse face.

I don’t care for their conversation and sneak glances at Levi. He seems to be quiet most of the time, since Isabel and Hange talk his ears off. I feel my pocket and I feel the handkerchief. I’m not giving it back. It’s mine now. I seem to be daydreaming again because Jean keeps talking to me.

-what do you want?

I ask him harshly.

-I just want to know if you’re going to homecoming next month.

I scoff and turn my face back to the field.

-of course I am. There’s a lot of things I want to ruin on that night. Oh and by the way guys, home time I want to key my physics teacher’s car. He’s been acting like a bitch and I want to teach him a lesson.

Jean and Eren scream,” HELL YEAH!”, and that caused some people to look at us. That good for that because I caught Levi’s attention. He turns and looks at me. I smile and wink at him. He widens his eyes and turns around. I love fucking around with him.

Hometime rolls in and we go out to the car park and look for my teacher’s car. Luckily, the son of a bitch didn’t park where the cameras were so I pull out my key and so did the others and run it down the bonnet of the car. I run it through the driver’s door moving it to the back. Mikasa took the boot and the boys took the roof and passenger side. After our masterpiece we heard:

-HEY YOU BRATS! STOP THAT.

My physics teacher yells. We look and laugh and made a run for it. We ran to our bikes and took off. Laughing. We drove past the gate and everyone was cheering for us as well. I saw Levi. I once again winked at him and rode away. “Maybe I should mess around with him. What could go wrong?”

Little did I know, a whole lot would go wrong.

Chapter Two