#i feel really bad lately so i just drew something to cheer myself up. not that it really worked but oh well o|-<< /div>
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fishbloc · 1 year ago
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"All they were—all they had ever been—was a pair of sunflowers who each believed the other was the sun."
or alternatively, an ending where there were two victors instead.
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drill-teeth-art · 2 months ago
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A late night, slight retrospective on the tiny amount of Tumblr fame I've gathered that also might be slightly annoying for my audience to read so feel free to skip it if you want.
I started sharing Transformers fanart on here back in 2022, around October. I had been posting art on here for a while before actually but people really started following me and asking about my work and actually reblogging my stuff when I started posting Transformers fanart in 2022. I was in a really low place then, and I really welcomed the attention. My art was and still is something I take a lot of pride in. It's my own. There's quite a few years of my life where the fact I could still draw was the only thing stopping me from attempting suicide. It's something that has always meant a lot to me, so the attention on one of the only things I really liked about myself was nice. It was nice for a while.
But I've gotta say the slight Tumblr fame (and I do mean slight, I've only got around 3k followers which is a lot of people and more than I ever thought I'd have following me and more than a lot of folks will ever have but not like A Ton Of Fame) has wreaked havoc on my mental health. Which is already pretty rough as is. Suddenly I wasn't just some guy making Transformers fanart while desperately saving up to get out of my parents' house. Suddenly I was some people's FAVORITE Transformers artist. Suddenly I was a role model to people and I had people in my DMs clambering for my attention and I had an audience that would cheer or boo or go awkwardly silent at my every post depending on how much they liked it. And it was Not Good For Me. I had and still do have people all over my inbox, excited about how I drew fat and disabled and trans characters asking me over and over to draw some specific representation that I don't want to draw right away. I had and still have people begging me to draw their favorite Transformers character who I happen to not really care about and not want to draw at all. And I am painfully aware how often people take personal offense to my polite "no I'm not drawing that unless it's a commission" and my not answering their ask because I'm not in the mood. I've had people send in asks asking for a specific drawing and then follow up asks when I don't answer in a timely manner. And it's really uncomfortable! And it's almost more uncomfortable that it feels like a lot of people don't even notice that they're making me uncomfortable.
And I like learning how to draw bodies I've never drawn before. I like looking at a character who I think is meh and being like "well actually how can I make them interesting to me...". But it really felt and still feels like my art was getting away from me, like I was drawing more what people were asking me to make instead of what I wanted to because people would take it so badly when I'd say no. I was getting commissions though and I was saving up money to move out so I ignored that bad feeling of getting distanced from my own craft because I was trying so hard to save money and I was actually making some. And I still wanted the attention. Plenty of people were still kind to me despite everything.
Things got weirder for me after I released my Good Bi Gender comic. Which I do still recommend people read I think it's some of my best work. But that comic became a huge hit. And it made things really complicated for a while. I got anon hate. I was told to kill myself by strangers online more than once while I was already deeply suicidal. Something I thought I stated very clearly in the comic itself, that I didn't want strangers calling me "she" though I did and do let my close trusted people call me "she", was immediately ignored by my regular audience and people reading the comic. I got a lot of "you go girl!" kind of messages in response to my comic, and I didn't say anything at the time but it made me deeply uncomfortable. The comic was partly about how the she/her part of my identity is off limits to strangers. How I don't let just anyone she/her me because I work so hard to have the he/him aspect identity acknowledged at all. And it was like what Tumblr decided for me was to go against my wishes. Was to be like "we'll accept your identity for you!" when that's not what I wanted. I did NOT want to be she/her'd by thousands of strangers at the time. And though I'm grateful to have heard the understanding stories of other folks with nonbinary gender identities in the notes, it was deeply humiliating and invalidating to watch as others decided for me to accept the Girl part of my identity. The opening lines of the comic are explicitly a plea to the reader to listen and understand why they're not allowed to use she/her for me even though I'm opening up about the complexities of my identity.
And like. I don't care anymore if people online she/her me. At least I don't care right now that's why she/her is in my bio right now maybe I'll change that. But at the time it was awful. It was something I asked people not to do. And between that and the constant clambering for my attention from people I didn't want to talk to (because I was severely depressed and wasn't looking to make a ton of new friends) and the alienation from my own work I felt like shit. I felt like garbage. I still do. I hate my art sometimes. I really hate it. And for a while, I considered breaking my own fingers just so people would stop acting so entitled to my art and I would have a reason not to post. And honestly the only thing that stopped me was just trying to get by financially. Just watching my follower count and regular notes steadily trend upward so I could do more commissions so I could move out.
And doing things for the numbers, even for a relatively short time, only made things worse. It sounds a little silly even to me, but I get so stressed out when my posts flop, especially if it's art I was really proud of. I'm struggling to detangle my sense of worth in my art from the online numbers game. And I'm proud of the progress I'm making, but it does really suck and it's really hard. And I really wish I was still the same person back in early 2022 who could say "I don't care about the numbers!" and actually mean it because god I WISH I didn't care about the numbers now. Especially now. I dunno if it's me posting more art people don't wanna see or people leaving Tumblr or a shift in the culture of Tumblr but fewer and fewer people interact with my posts despite my follower count ticking up slowly but surely and it kind of bums me the fuck out. But. I am very proud of myself for still drawing the ocs that I want to draw even if they get less notes every time. And even if I'm slightly frustrated they get less notes every time.
I don't really have a neat bow to tie on my personal story right now. I'm still healing and sometimes I backslide and it's hard and it sucks. I don't want to sound ungrateful or to sound like I'm trying to shoo people off my blog because I'm not. I'm really grateful for the attention and interest and I'm not trying to turn people off my art blog. But it's been a rough few years on here. And don't be surprised if you see me take more and more breaks from this website. I do sincerely hope y'all will stick around and watch me continue to post whatever art and say kind things because I do appreciate that a lot. I'm trying really hard to mend my relationship with my own art. To not be so hard on myself. And for the record I don't want any asks telling me to take breaks when necessary or reminding me to draw for me. I appreciate the sentiment, but I already know all that and I personally don't find it helpful to be reminded of things I already know. But anyway. I hope that I will draw more and more of whatever I want to, even if that means I fade back into obscurity.
If you stuck around to read me reflect on the stresses and occasional humiliation of my small amount of online notoriety, then thank you. I appreciate that. And really I do like people looking at my art on here and sharing it and sending asks about my work. And the person I expect to be responsible for my mental health and how much social media is impacting it is Me first and foremost. But sometimes I think that it's important to remember there's a person behind your favorite art blog. And sometimes when you get swept up in parasocial attachment and hype, you kind of treat that person really fucking weirdly. And no that doesn't make you a bad person or a monster. But it does mean you have to learn to deal with it when someone who you might even idolize is like "back off me you're making me uncomfortable".
Anyway. I shouldn't be up as late as I am. A headache has been keeping me up all night. I'm gonna try to rest though. Goodnight.
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dreamerstreamer · 4 years ago
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Driver’s License
Pairing: Dream / Clay x f!reader
Summary: [High School!AU] You’ve had a crush on Clay ever since he was first assigned to be your lab partner, and you finally muster up the courage to confess your feelings to him. But sometimes, not everything goes the way you hope it does.
Word Count: 6.8k
A/N: this was requested by an anon who wanted some angst inspired by olivia rodrigo’s driver’s license! i hope i captured the right mood with the setting and story, and i sincerely hope you enjoy! <3
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You glanced down at your phone, your thumb pressing on the power button before the screen flickered to life. The time flashed back at you in a white, clean font, and you chewed on your lip, your toes curling in your shoes.
There were only seven minutes until the bell—he was going to be late, wasn’t he?
Sighing, you picked up your phone and pushed your thumb against the home button, opening up your text messages. You scrolled down the list of contacts that stared back at you, your thumb hovering the one name that sent your head spinning in a flurry of pink hearts and white stars.
Clay.
Of all the people to have a crush on, of course it just had to be him. After all, how could you not fall for him? He was tall, cute, funny, and, well—he was a dream come true. It was almost like the universe had just set you up to fall, and really, you had no one to blame but yourself. It wasn’t like he liked you back, either. He was the cool, fun quarterback that was friends with everyone, while your only claim to fame was that you were his lab partner.
Should I text him? you wondered, fidgeting your fingers. I feel like I should text him. I know we’re technically just lab partners, but we’ve texted about other things, too. It wouldn’t be weird if I just asked him where he was, ri—
“Hey, you.”
You whipped your head up, immediately shutting your phone with one hand as your eyes wide went wide, your heart tripping in your chest. Standing by the desk next to you, Clay waved, amusement flickering across his face at your shocked expression.
“Hi, Clay,” you said, suddenly feeling breathless all at once. You could already feel the warmth blossoming in your chest, as his eyes locked onto yours. You really were too gone for your own good.
Sliding into his seat, he flashed you a bright grin as he dropped his bag onto the space beside him. “What’s up? Anything exciting happen to you?”
You turned away from your notebook with a soft smile. “Not really.” Trying to force down the heat crawling up your neck, you wagged a finger at him, a teasing lilt seeping into your words. “But you, my friend, are actually early—for once.” You shot him a thumbs up, winking. “Congratulations.”
Unzipping his backpack, Clay rolled his eyes at you, something like amusement flirting across his face. “Look,” he said, rummaging through his bag, “not all of us can be as early as you.”
Your lips twitched, and you leaned back in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest with a triumphant look. “Well, I’ll have you know that I drove myself here today.”
He froze, his hand pausing as he looked up to blink at you with wide, fascinated eyes. “You did?” A grin slowly spread across his face, and he pulled out a notebook before setting his bag back down on the ground. “Does that mean what I think it does?”
You nodded your head eagerly, electricity buzzing up your skin as you pulled out your wallet from behind you. “It sure does!” Flipping it open, you held out a small, plastic card towards his face with a giddy smile. “I got my license.”
In an instant, he was cheering, his eyes as wide as saucers as he clapped his hands in celebration. You had half the mind to be embarrassed that more than just a few people were looking at you now, but you were far more focused on Clay. “Woah, congrats!” he said, lifting a hand tentatively toward you. “Can I...?”
You nodded, watching as he gently pulled your license from your fingers. He turned it over in his hands once, his lips curling up into a crooked grin before he tapped at your photo. “Look at you,” he said, mirth dancing through his emerald gaze. “They got your good side.”
You raised a brow at him, holding your palm out toward him. “Are you saying I have a bad side?”
Clay shook his head, sliding the card back between your fingers and your hands brushing. A spark ran up your fingertips at the touch, sending a dizzying surge of heat rushing into your chest. “Nah. Every side is your good side.”
Your breath hitched in your throat as he turned back to his desk, his gaze leaving yours. Your fingers curled tighter around your license, and you swallowed. How could he say something like that so casually? It was so unfair. You already liked him enough, and then he just had to go and say something like that. Of course. Stupid, dumb, handsome Clay. It was not your fault he was so... attractive. Totally.
After a long moment, your fingers curled a fraction tighter around your license, the plastic digging into your skin as you softly said, “Thanks.”
He waved a hand at you, his eyes curving into crescent moons. “Anytime.”
Your stomach tightened into a knot in your gut, tingling elation shooting through you and wrapping around your lungs. Tucking your license back into one of the wallet flaps, you watched as he flipped his notebook open to a blank page, quickly scribbling the date in the corner of the paper with a focused gaze. With a reluctant sigh, you tore your eyes away from him to look back at your own paper, pretending to write something down that wasn’t just his name. It was almost embarrassing how easily you could just stare and get lost in everything he did. You never thought you would be one of those people, yet here you were.
“Hey, by the way,” he suddenly said, his voice making you jump while his eyes flickered to meet yours, “do you happen to have any plans for Friday?”
Catching your breath, your pencil stopped in its tracks on the page. Friday? You furrowed your brows, the cogs in your head churning before you slowly nodded. “I think so.” A grimace tugged at your lips, and you held back a quiet groan. “I’ve got a project due on Monday that I need to get done, but I can’t work on it until Friday, so...” You gestured vaguely. “You know.”
There was a moment of silence, and Clay’s lips curled into a slight frown. “Oh,” he said. “I see.”
You could have sworn you saw disappointment flit through his face, but it was gone in an instant. Leaning toward him, your eyebrows knit together in concern. “Hey,” you murmured softly, “is something wrong?”
In a flash, he was smiling again, and you couldn’t tell he had been frowning even a split second earlier. “No, no, I was just curious, that’s all.” He raised his hand toward you, tapping a finger against your nose. “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it.”
Your cheeks burst with warmth, his eyes brightening at the way your lips curled. Reeling back, you raised your chin at him, huffing. “Hey, this pretty little head is the one saving you from a C in chemistry, right now.”
He chuckled, his arm dropping back down to his side as he leaned back in his seat. “You sure are, and I hope you knows how much that means to me.”
Your heart came to a screeching halt in your chest. All at once, it felt like all the oxygen had been sucked from the room. Did he... could he—?
“Good morning, everyone.”
You jumped at the sound of your chemistry teacher’s voice, your hand tightening around your pencil as you watched him send your class a smile. “I hope you all had a good weekend. Today, we’ll be...”
Soon enough, you were already tuning him out, your mind drifting back to Clay’s words.
I hope you knows how much that means to me.
Something soft and fuzzy rolled over in your stomach, and you felt hope bubbling up in your throat.
Maybe your crush wasn’t as one-sided as you thought it was.
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You dashed through the halls, your backpack bouncing against your shoulder as you weaved in between groups of friends leaning against the lockers and couples holding hands as they walked. You stifled a curse as you dodged someone’s arm, grumbling to yourself as you finally pushed past the doors that led outside. Couldn’t people learn to just not stand in the middle of the hall? People needed to get places—people like you.
Inhaling the fresh, spring air, you bounded across the dewy grass toward the familiar picnic table underneath the school’s willow tree. It was the only spot on school grounds that actually had enough shade to keep your head from overheating in the simmering Florida sun, so naturally, it became your and Wilbur’s go-to spot for lunch.
As the bench drew nearer, you felt your face brighten, spotting Wilbur already sitting in his usual spot, his beanie askew atop his head. The two of you were unlikely friends, to say the least, but after having spent years living next to each other, you were more than proud to call him your best friend, even if he did make you want to smack him more often than not.
Wilbur offered you a brief wave as you finally reached the bench, tugging open his sandwich bag with his other hand. Above you, the willow tree swayed, the branches and leaves scattering sunlight across his face. “Hey, how was chem—”
“Today, our hands touched when I showed him my license,” you blurted, not even pausing for breath.
Wilbur blinked at you once, stunned for a brief moment. Then, a groan flew from his lips, and he pressed two fingers to his temple, grimacing. “[Y/N],” he said, drawing out the syllables of your name, “I can’t keep doing this.”
You blinked as you sat down in the space across from him, dropping your bag onto the seat with a thud. “Keep doing what?”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Keep listening to you endlessly pine over Clay without doing anything about it.” At your bewildered expression, he sighed, taking another bite of his sandwich as he pushed his glasses up further onto his face. “It’s been, what? Four months, at this point?”
“Five,” you said immediately.
He stared at you. “Five,” he repeated. When you nodded, his frown deepened. “You do realize how bad that sounds, right?”
A wave of embarrassment crashed over you, and you curled back into yourself,  grumbling, “Let me live my life.”
“Not like this, I won’t.” Wilbur leaned over the table with a firm look, pointing his finger at you. “You need to ask him out.”
Your eyes widened at his words, and you felt your jaw drop open in disbelief. “No way,” you said, slapping your hands onto the table. “Absolutely not. I am not doing... that.”
You could practically see Wilbur’s impatience wearing thin, his mouth pressing into a thin line. “[Y/N]. C’mon. You like him—it’s so obvious.”
You opened your mouth to shoot back, then shook your head, closing it—Wilbur knew you too well to even try. “Probably, but not to Clay. To him, I’m just his lab partner.”
“His cute lab partner,” he pointed out, lifting a finger. “Who is also pretty, and smart, and funny, and interesting and—”
The smile was stretching across your face before you could stop it, and you whined, feeling your chest grow warm with genuine appreciation. “Stop, please.”
Wilbur’s lips split into a teasing grin, and he poked a finger to your side. “You know I’m only calling it like I see it.”
When you glowered at him, he only laughed, brushing a stray lock of hair out of his face. Scoffing, you reached your arm toward him. “Well, if it’s only as much as you’re seeing it,” you said, “I guess I’ll just have to take these, then.”
Before he could react, your hand had wrapped around the side of his glasses, and you were pulling them off his face in a whirl. He jumped at the sudden change, and you watched as he fumbled with his sandwich, gaping at you as he whipped around. “Hey, give those back!”
You leaned back, sticking your tongue out at him as you held them above and behind your head. “Not until you stop.”
Now, it was his turn to glare at you, and he clenched his jaw with a long exhale. “Fine,” he said, focusing his attention back to his lunch. “I guess I just won’t tell you what’s happening on Friday, then.”
His glasses went limp in your hand, and your voice dropped down to a meek whisper. “There’s something happening on Friday?”
Wilbur only shrugged, humming softly. “Maybe, maybe not.”
Resting your elbows on top of the table, you pursed your lips, leaning forward to scan his face. “Will,” you said, your tone firm and demanding, “please tell me. Clay asked me if I was free on Friday and now I regret telling him no—you can’t just leave me hanging like this.”
Wilbur lifted his head to meet your gaze, a look of pure shock and disbelief shooting across his face. “He asked you if you were free and you said no?” He paused for a moment, then sighed for what must have been the millionth time. “Maybe you’re a bigger idiot than I thought.”
You scowled, but didn’t say anything. Instead, you lifted your head to slide his glasses across the table toward him. “Here,” you said, the tiniest tinge of desperation soaking into your voice, “I’ll even give these back.”
He raised his eyebrows at you, picking up his glasses with a soft whistle. “That was easier than I thought,” he murmured, ignoring the glare you shot him. Sliding his glasses back onto his face with practiced ease, he turned his attention back to you with a gleam in his eye. “Fine then, I’ll tell you.”
You held your breath as he leaned forward, opening his mouth. “There’s a football game on Friday,” he said, “and Chrissy’s throwing a party for after the game.”
You stared at him, then frowned, confusion swirling in your eyes. “Chrissy?” you parroted.
Wilbur nodded. “Yes, Chrissy.”
Your eyebrows knitted together. While you didn’t really know Chrissy yourself, you most definitely knew of her. That was the case for a lot of people in your school. After all, how could you not know Chrissy? She was the head cheerleader and practically the face of the school. With shiny, golden hair and a dazzling smile that put the sun to shame, it was basically impossible to miss her—you’d have to be blind to.
On one hand, you wanted to believe she was stuck-up and catty like all the cheerleaders you saw in movies, but deep down, you knew you had no right to make that judgement. People said she was nice, and you had never spoken to her yourself, so who were you to stereotype her? But on the other....
“What does Chrissy have anything to do with this?” you blurted, your eyes scanning his face for even a hint of something more. “We’re talking about Clay, not her.”
Wilbur only stared blankly at you, his eye twitching in agony. “How you pass your classes and still manage to be this dense is beyond me.”
You let out a groan, hanging your head in your hands. “Wilbur, you know I’m stupid. Now, will you please just get to the point?”
Wilbur dragged a hand over the bottom half of his face, sucking in a deep breath before lifting a hand toward you. “Chrissy is the cheer captain, [Y/N]. Clay is the quarterback. It’s an after-game party. He’s definitely going to be there.”
Silence washed over the two of you, and for an excruciatingly long minute, you simply stared at him, the dots slowly connecting in your head to form a full picture. After a few moments, Wilbur sighed again and looked away, giving you some time to think. Your head spun with thoughts of Friday, Clay, and your project, and you watched distractedly as Wilbur shoved the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth, chewing while you eyed him up and down.
A party, huh? you thought to yourself. Maybe, just maybe...
Just like that, something suddenly snapped inside you, and you felt your chest swell with determination. You could not believe you were about to do this.
“Wilbur,” you said, calm and slow, “this changes everything.” When he silently cocked a brow at you, you tightened your jaw. “We’re going to that football game, then we’re going to Chrissy’s party.”
He nodded, only half-listening as he stuffed his now empty sandwich bag into his pocket. “Sure, yeah, good for yo—wait.“ He froze, and you almost let yourself feel a sliver of pride as he gaped at you. “You said we.”
You ignored the sense of slow, sinking horror settling into your gut as you swallowed, squeezing your hands into tight fists. “Yeah—we. Because I’m going to need the moral support.”
Wilbur blinked once. Twice. Then, a slow grin began to spread across his face, and you could already tell you were about to regret telling him that. “Does this mean you’re gonna—?”
You swallowed thickly, your throat bobbing as you threw back your shoulders and nodded, firm and true. “I’m going to confess to Clay.”
Wilbur was on his feet in an instant, his hand shooting forward to clap you on the shoulder. “Attagirl!” Pulling back, he crossed his arms over his chest, smiling eagerly. “Sure then, I’ll come with. But you’re driving.”
You furrowed your brows at him, pulling yourself up until you were also standing. “You know I’ve only had my license for, like, half a week.”
He slung his arm over your shoulder, his lips twitching at the way you stumbled at his sudden movement. “That’s all the more reason to celebrate. Let’s go get ice cream.”
You gaped, somehow even more confused than before. “Celebrate? What are we celebrating? My driver’s license?”
Reaching down, Wilbur patted your head, grinning brightly. “You’ve made a step forward to finally being less of a wimp. That’s something.”
You sent him another glare, but shoved your hand into your pocket nonetheless. A few moments of rummaging later, you pulled out your parents’ car keys with a defeated sigh. “You’re lucky I like ice cream. But don’t blame me if I crash the car.”
“Hey,” he said, unwrapping his arm from its spot on your shoulder to pick up his bag, “even if you do, at least that way I’ll miss my stats test tomorrow.”
You gasped, frowning at him as you smacked his arm. “That’s a terrible thing to say.”
Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, he simply hummed at you, his eyes gleaming in the sunlight. “Sometimes, the truth hurts,” he said, “and you just have to accept it.”
You opened your mouth to respond, but he waved a hand, gesturing to your backpack. “Enough of the melodrama, though—get your stuff. I want ice cream.”
With a sigh, you rolled your eyes at him again, leaning down to grab your backpack with one hand and your keys with the other. As the two of you began to make your way across the field, squinting past the blinding sunlight, you felt your heart flutter in anticipation.
Friday—you could wait for Friday.
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The roaring applause was absolutely deafening around you as the football slammed into the grass, claps and shouts ringing across the bleachers like nothing you’ve heard before. On the other side of the field, you watched as the cheerleaders shook their pom-poms, Chrissy landing a flip in front of the crowd with a stunning grin. With a slight wince, you grimaced, your eyes flickering to the scoreboard. Your team was losing 24 to 37, but from the way everyone was yelling, you’d have thought they had just won a war. Did they just get a point, or...?
“You don’t know anything about football, do you?”
You whirled around, tearing your eyes away from the scoreboard to find Wilbur sitting beside you with a bucket of popcorn sitting on his lap. You frowned at his unimpressed look, resolve etched into your features. “I know things. Like, um—” You paused for a second. “Like, Clay is the quarterback.”
A sardonic smile stretched across his face, and he cocked his head at you. “That’s great,” he drawled. “But do you know what a quarterback does?”
You stiffened, digging your thumb into the palm of your hand. “Plays football?” you offered sheepishly.
Wilbur deadpanned, picking at a stray thread on his mustard yellow sweater. “You’re hopeless.”
You let out a whine, burying your face in your hands to at least try to ignore the aching warmth creeping onto your cheeks, a prickle of anxiety creeping up your spine. “I’m trying, okay?”
A hand settled onto your shoulder, familiar and warm. “I know, I know,” he murmured, sounding reassuring for once, “and I’m proud of you for that.”
You lifted your head, your wide eyes meeting his earnest ones. “Really?”
He smiled. “Really. But,” he added, something flashing in his gaze, “as your best friend, it is also my responsibility to clown you at every given opportunity.”
You pushed his arm off your shoulder with a pout. “You’re right, but I hate that you’re right.”
With a chuckle, he stuck his hand into the bucket on his lap, tossing a piece of popcorn into his mouth. “Look,” he said, casting a worried glance at you, “I’m just trying to lighten the mood a little—you look like you’re stressed out of your mind.”
Your voice came out louder than you would have liked, your nails digging into your palms. “Because I am! I am, okay? He...” You trailed off for a moment, searching for the right words. “...he means a lot to me, and I really like him.”
Wilbur’s gaze grew soft, his hold on the popcorn bucket growing loose. “I know you do.” He paused for a moment, then nudged your shoulder with his. “Tell you what,” he began, “if we win the game, you tell him, but if we lose, we can just go home.”
You stared at him, the weight on your shoulders suddenly feeling a lot less heavy. “Seriously?”
He nodded, his lips quirking. “Yes. I don’t want to push you into doing something you’ll regret.”
You turned back to the scoreboard once more, your gaze darting back and forth between the 24 on the sign and the grass. Down below, you caught a glimpse of a uniform with the number one plastered across the back dashing across the field as the crowd cheered. The gears in your head whirred, and you felt your gut churn. Did you really want to leave and give up, now? Were you really okay with that?
Memories of emerald green eyes and loud peals of laughter flashed across your mind, and you felt your chest grow hot.
“Okay,” you breathed, quiet yet firm. “Okay, I think I—”
You stopped, squeezing your eyes shut for a moment. Sucking in another breath, your eyelids shot open and you swallowed. “I can do this.” Your eyes flitted to Wilbur’s. “Yeah?” You nodded to yourself. “Yeah.”
Wilbur sucked on the inside of his cheek, his fingers nervously tapping on the side of the popcorn bucket. “We can still go home, it’s okay. We can leave now if you wa—”
You shook your head, and his words fell quiet. “No,” you sighed, feeling both nervous and relieved. “No. I’m gonna do it.”
His fingers stopped, surprise seeping into his expression. “You are?”
You watched as the football soared across the air, spinning in a perfect spiral. Something inside you flipped, and you found the words leaving your mouth before you could stop them.
“I am.”
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Flashing lights scattered broken rays of rainbows across the ceiling, moving bodies jumping and dancing against one another as their eyes glimmered with excitement. Some pop song you were pretty sure you had heard on the radio that morning was blasting through the speakers, making the floor shake beneath your feet. You blinked down at your shoes, feeling your arms tingle at your side with discomfort.
“I kind of regret doing this.”
Beside you, Wilbur let out a long sigh, shaking his head as he poured himself another glass of... whatever he had been drinking. “I literally told you we could leave earlier.”
Your hand trembled at your side, your thumb pressing against your side as you shuffled back and forth anxiously. “Do not remind me, please. I’m already on the verge of losing my mind right about now.”
Wilbur glanced down at you, taking in your shaking lip and nervous expression, then smiled, bending over slightly so that he was eye-level with you. “Hey,” he said softly, his voice still reaching your ear despite the deafening music, “you’ve got this, okay?” He pushed his cup toward you, gently tapping your arm with it. “I’m still here for you, even if goes badly. Remember that.”
The sting crawling up your spine grew a little fainter at his words, and you bit your lip, shooting him a sheepish smile. “Thanks. I’ll, um, find you later?”
Reaching his hand up, he ruffled your hair with a reassuring smile. “Of course. Go on, now.” Patting your back one last time, he bumped his side into yours playfully, pushing you forward. “You can do it.”
You pursed your lips one last time, willing the butterflies in your stomach to die down before turning on your heel and making your way through the house. You could do this—yeah, you definitely could! What was the worst that could happen?
You stepped past wild movements and braying laughter, weaving your way through the maze that was Chrissy’s house as your eyes swept over the bustling crowd. You never knew Chrissy lived in such a nice place, but really, you weren’t all that surprised, and you weren’t really complaining. After all, it was a nice party, and more than a great place to celebrate your school’s victory.
Although you would wished that it wasn’t as big as it was, if only so you could actually find Clay.
As you slowly pushed against the torrent of mingling people, your mind began to wander. I wonder if I look okay. Does my hair still look alright after Wilbur messed with it? He better not have ruined it. Or maybe Clay would find it cute? Your face burned, and you shook your head to yourself, muttering under your breath. You weren’t sure anymore, but you could tell that the nerves were starting to get to you.
You found your pushing into the kitchen, nearly toppling over someone’s leg as the dangling lights came into view. Reaching forward, you grabbed onto the counter to balance yourself, blood pumping in your ears. Were parties always this crazy, or was everyone just high off the adrenaline from the game? You couldn’t tell.
It was then that a voice called out over the deafening music echoing in your ears. “Yo, [Y/N]!”
You whirled at the sound of your name, your eyes scanning the kitchen for the owner’s voice before landing on a familiar face leaning up against the counter. “Sapnap?” you said, eyes widening as you walked over.
Sapnap flashed you a welcoming smile, raising his cup to his lips to take a small sip. “Hey,” he said, his voice somehow sailing across the blaring bass, “it’s good to see you. I feel like you never come to parties.”
You nodded, tucking some hair behind your ear as you offered him a sheepish smile, shrugging. “Just thought it would be nice to spend some a night out for once, you get me?” It was right when Sapnap nodded that you gasped, clapping your hands together. “Oh, by the way, have you seen Clay?”
Sapnap paused, fiddling with his cup. “Clay? I’m pretty sure he was with Chrissy out in the backyard.”
He jutted his head toward the glass, sliding door on the opposite side of the room, and you sent him a grateful grin. “Awesome, thanks.” Raising your hand in a wave, you turned. “See you around!”
He raised his cup in return, smiling back at you. “See ya.”
Your anxiety had blossomed into excitement now, a grin tugging at your lips as you leapt around the dining table and grabbed the door handle, sliding it open with a grunt. Stepping outside, you heard the splashing of the pool and bursts of giggles echo around you, washing the dim, evening clouds with a pale, swimming glow. Like the rest of her house, Chrissy’s backyard was big—bigger than you’d have thought. With a pool and a gazebo to boot, you were shocked by how unsurprised you were.
Sapnap said he was out here last time he saw him, you thought, wiping your damp palms on your bottoms. Your heart raged against your rib cage, beating wildly as you sucked in a deep breath. I guess it’s now or nothing.
Plastering a smile to your face, you lifted your head, taking a step forward only for your eyes to catch on someone moving in the gazebo.
Your heart stopped.
Tucked away under the gazebo’s arching roof, there sat Clay, his arm wrapped around Chrissy’s waist as he gazed at her with warm, fond eyes. He dipped his head down to whisper something into her ear, and you could only watch as she giggled, tilting his head down to press her lips against his in a soft, sweet peck.
Your lungs were constricted in your chest, and you suddenly felt like you couldn’t breathe. Every breath you took felt like a weight of bricks had been set into your bones, your vision hyper focusing on the sight lying a few feet away from you.
Her hands in his. His eyes focused on her. The sound of her laughter, light and pure. The flash of his smile, loving and kind.
He... Clay... and Chrissy...?
It was almost as you had ducked your head into the pool, everyone’s voices sounding murky and unfamiliar. Beside you, you could vaguely make out the conversation of two girls chatting away with one another, their smiles bright and gazes eager.
“Hey,” one murmured, “do you know how long Clay and Chrissy have been together?”
The other paused. “I think he asked her out after they won the game, right when everyone was coming over. Romantic, right?”
There was a gasp. “Really? That’s so cute. They’re perfect together, aren’t they? Head cheerleader with the quarterback—” A dramatic sigh. “—it’s like a movie or something.”
You heard a noise of affirmation. “And they’re both so nice. Like, gosh, no wonder they ended up together.”
You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat, your eardrums ringing inside your head. The world suddenly felt like it was a million miles away, like you were hearing everything through a tunnel as you stumbled your way back toward the house. Voices chatted around you and bodies jostled you as you walked, but all you could think about was the thought of Clay’s lips pressed to Chrissy’s, the image burned to the back of your eyelids.
Wilbur, you thought through the jumbled mess of your thoughts. I need to find Wilbur. Where is he?
Someone laughed beside you—it sounded too much like Clay. Everything was too loud, too bright. You were going to be sick.
Just then, a swathe of mustard yellow caught your attention from the corner of your eye, and in an instant, you were turning on your heel, pushing past strangers and acquaintances alike with only one goal in mind. Wilbur was taking to someone you recognized as Eret, the British transfer student from a little while back. They looked like they were getting along well, what with the way Wilbur was smiling, but right now, you couldn’t wait another second to get your best friend’s attention.
The moment you reached him, your hand was already gripping onto his arm, tugging at him. “Wilbur,” you said shakily, feeling like your knees were about to give out, “we need to leave. Right now.”
Wilbur turned, the bright lights making his eyes gleam in the dimness. “Oh, [Y/N], how’d it g—” His smile fell from his face the second his eyes met yours, worry flooding his features. “What happened?”
Your throat felt tight as you curled your fingers tighter into his sweater, the fabric bunching up in your hand. “Wilbur, please.”
His eyes lingered on you for a moment longer, then he nodded, his gaze softening. “Okay.” Turning, he sent a quick wave to Eret, muttering some excuse before dipping his head closer to you and placing his hand on the small of your back. “I’ll drive,” he murmured. “Where to?”
You felt your heart squeeze in your chest, a small, tight noise leaving you as your lips struggled to form a sentence. “I don’t know—my house... yours... the park?” You clung to his arm like an anchor, half-feeling like you would drift off into the endless sea without him. “Just... anywhere but here.”
Wilbur scanned your face, his fingers twitching against your backside before he nodded, nudging you forward ever so slightly. “Park it is.”
You were only vaguely aware of being pulled away from the party, walking down the front steps of the house and into the passenger seat of the car as Wilbur turned on the ignition. Your vision grew blurry as you felt hot tears begin to stream down your cheeks, the world outside the car windows turning into a hazy mess of colour and shadows. Inside your chest, you felt the shards of your heart dig against your lungs. Heartbroken didn’t even begin to describe the anguish you felt.
At least you weren’t the one driving.
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You kicked your legs back and forth on the squeaky swing set, the loud creaking digging into your skull like a thought you couldn’t shake. Your insides felt heavy underneath your skin, and you felt the back of your eyes burn with unshed tears.
“Did you want to talk about it?”
Your eyes slowly lifted to meet Wilbur’s, who was standing in front of you, his face contorted in concern as he quietly waited for you to respond. “I...” you began softy, swallowing. “I’m not sure.”
He simply watched you for a moment, then nodded, murmuring a soft, “That’s okay.”
In the distance, you could see a lamppost flickering in the darkness, the light fading in and out of view like it was just barely grappling to stay afloat. A wave of sadness rolled over you at the sight, although you couldn’t name why, as you found yourself opening your mouth, the words tumbling from your lips in incoherent sentences.
“It’s just... I just... I, um. I—” You stopped, letting your eyes fall shut before you managed to whisper, “He was with Chrissy, you know?”
Wilbur froze, his eyes slowly widening as he took in your words. “He was?”
You nodded your head, something cold and broken rattling in your chest at the movement. “Yeah.”
Fury flashed across his face like a wildfire, and he crouched down before you, his jaw clenched tightly. “Even after he asked you if you had plans...” He scowled, cursing under his breath. “What a prick.”
You let out a soft laugh, but it felt forced, the smile immediately slipping off your face the moment you closed your mouth. “He was all over her, you could tell,” you whispered, clutching your arms tighter around yourself. “He was looking at her like... I dunno, like she had done something wonderful, like she was the greatest thing in the world.”
The back of your eyelids stung, and you sucked in a shuddering breath. The hollow hole in the pit of your stomach suddenly didn’t feel so empty anymore as something cold and sad began to pool around your lungs as you continued. “And like, gosh, just... you were right when you said the truth hurts, Will.” Beside you, you saw him since, his expression blurry from the tears starting to fill your eyes. “It hurts. A lot. It really, really does.”
Your hand clutched at the fabric covering your heart, almost as if you were trying to cradle the shattered pieces. “I know I can’t control his feelings, and I shouldn’t have expected anything,” you whispered, “but I just felt like we had something, you know? Like we could have been something. But now it’s all—”
Your voice suddenly cracked, your sentences cut off by an empty, choked out sob. Hot, wet droplets spilled down your cheeks, and you squeezed your eyes shut, your sides trembling. In an instant, Wilbur’s arms wrapped around you, and you felt him tug you into his chest, your head resting against his shoulder while you whimpered.
“Oh, [Y/N]...” he whispered, his hand stroking against your back.
You hiccuped against him, shaking like a leaf as you buried your face into his sweater. “I’m sorry for roping you into this—I really thought I had a chance, but what was I thinking? She’s Chrissy, and I’m just...” You sobbed. “I’m just...”
All of a sudden, Wilbur pulled you back from him, his hands gripping onto your shoulders tightly as his eyes bore into yours. “You’re you.”
Your breath hitched in your throat, your eyes going wide. Wh-What?
Before you, Wilbur’s fingers dug sternly into your shoulders, his stare unwavering as he spoke clearly and true. “Look,” he said, “I can’t tell you what he was thinking, and I can’t tell you why he did that. But...” He paused for a moment, and you watched his face soften as his tone grew warm.
“I can tell you that he just passed up the best girl in the whole, wide world.”
You felt tears prick your eyes once more, but this time they didn’t burn. “Y-You’re just saying that,” you whined, reaching a hand up to wipe at your eyes.
He shook you gently in his arms, prodding you with his hands. “I’m not, I promise, even if I do think you’re my loser best friend.”
When you laughed this time, it didn’t feel nearly as heavy as it did before. You caught a glimpse of his smile as you pressed the sleeve of your shirt against your eyes, soaking up your tears. “Thanks, Wilbur,” you whispered as you sent him a smile—a real one. “Really.”
He grinned at you, dropping his hands from your shoulders. “Anytime, [Y/N]. Now,” he said, rising to his feet, “how do you feel about getting ice cream?”
You blinked at him, taking in the sight of his glimmering eyes in the light of the shining moon. “Please don’t tell me you’re calling this a celebration.”
He shook his head, but you caught the way his lips twitched in amusement. “No. Sometimes you just get ice cream because it makes you feel better.” He stretched his hand out toward you. “Here.”
You slipped your fingers between his, letting him pull you up from the creaky swing set with a slight huff. Once you let go, you held your palm up toward him, waiting. “I’ll drive.”
He cocked his head at you, slowly pulling your keys out of the pockets of his jeans. “Are you sure? You don’t have to.”
You shook your head at him, picking the keys up from his palm. “It’s alright.” Tossing them once in your palm, you flashed him a grin. “Hey, if I crash the car, I won’t have to hand in that assignment on Monday.”
Wilbur blinked at you once, then twice. Then, he burst into laughter, clutching at his chest as he keeled over, wiping a tear from his eye as he smacked your arm with his. “You know what?” he gasped between breaths as he stood upright once more. “I’ll pay for ice cream, this time.”
A cheer tore itself from your lips, and you pumped your fist in the air as you went racing down the hill toward your car parked by the sidewalk, the wind whipping at your face. Behind you, you could hear Wilbur shout your name as he chased after you, his voice echoing into the cool, dark night.
Maybe things weren’t as bad as you thought. Clay was happy, and while you weren’t quite there yet yourself, you knew that one day, you would be, too.
After all, while the truth may hurt, it wasn’t all bad, either.
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ghostofbambifanfiction · 3 years ago
Text
Part 1 of ?????
Started writing this fic a while ago and then lost faith in it. Should I continue? Feel bad for not posting much lately so I thought I'd share this. Read on and weigh in.
COME OUT TONIGHT
NO
You don't have to fucking shout?
Said the pot to the kettle?
Oh you grandmother The caps were an accidental by-product of voice-to-text Blame Siri if you're going to blame anyone
You have a Samsung Galaxy S20.
HAD. It got smashed. Worst luck. Listen, come out with me tonight.
Urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'm tired!
https://www.boots.com/wellness/vitaminsandsupplements/vitamins-supplements-shop-by-ingredient/echinacea
Hah (indifferent)
Just come out with me! Isaac has to go see some godawful student performance of the Antigone in wherever the fuck Chichester is and it's Sirius's flatmate's birthday party so I have to go and I don't know any of his weird mates
You don't HAVE to go.
Have to/want to Semantics
I'm not in a birthday party mood. I'm having a stressful week. My arse has been tense since Tuesday.
I will wade into the deep and massage your arse if I have to, just come It's a swank pad in Belgravia! I bet they'll have all sorts of expensive nibbles!
I read that as expensive nipples.
Those too!
Partying it up with the children of wealthy Tories. Sounds super fun.
Just come out with me, for fuck I'll pick you up at 7 and we can steal their silverware if it's boring as the grave
URGH I'll go but I'm NOT dressing up!
You don't have to dress up!
FINE!
*
take the drawings down please i'm begging you i'm actually begging you
Nah mate
siriusssssssss pleeeeeease
Nah
PLEASE
Nah
PLEASE ffs it's MY birthday!!!! there are going to be PEOPLE there! standing around! AT EYE LEVEL
I don't see what the problem is.
EVERYONE will see what the problem is! they literally will not be able to IGNORE what the problem is!
Sounds like a recipe for lively discussion to me tbh
that is NOT what i want people talking about at my birthday!
If I take them down, I'll have to take all the nails out and that'll leave nail marks all over the walls. It would be unsightly.
MORE UNSIGHTLY THAN YOUR DICK, SIRIUS?
My dick is bewitching.
DIE
*
She walks in expecting to find herself the infiltrator of a Made in Chelsea/Royal Ascot/Henley Regatta netherworld, filled with a gaggle of giggling, SW-postcode socialites wielding suspiciously powder-edged Harrods Amex cards in the place of horses and boats, but that's not what actually greets her on the other side of the lacquered front door.
What greets her is really quite ordinary.
Aside from the naked drawings of Kingsley's mate, which aren't.
Otherwise, the whole affair is pretty relaxed. People her age are clustered in their small groups, swigging beers. There's a table of oven-heated party foods, salty snacks and rapidly depleting ramekins of guac. She spies more band shirts than there are dress shirts. There's a round of Fortnite in full swing on the TV.
It's all just...startlingly normal. A normal birthday party.
And that's sort of embarrassing, really.
Where are all the visible Tory toffs, she wonders? Where is the braying laughter? The Eton alumni reunion? The glimpse of hunting-happy tweed and shotgun barrels as a coat cupboard door swings shut? Where's the indelible air of sneering superiority, of "we're richer and more privileged and better than you, so fuck the NHS and death to foxes!" that she'd been expecting? There's a fucking Henry Hoover in the corner of the hall, for Christ's sake. Lily came here to smile through her teeth at them all, to listen to the champagne problems privilege that bubbled from their lips and tell herself that she was the one who knew better, who thought better. Her plain white tee and skinny jeans and scuff-toed, high-top trainers were supposed to be a statement, a subtle setting-apart, but she's not even the most underdressed person in the room.
She pre-judged a house full of people. What's that about?
There's a lesson to be found in this. Perhaps.
*
James covered all of the dicks in Paw Patrol stickers that he bought from the newsagent on his way home from his mum's, but Sirius peeled them all off while he was taking a soothing lavender bath, so what's the bloody point in birthdays anyway?
It's early in the evening, and he's wedged—against his will—between the dining room bar and Shane Ruttle, who has just pointed at one of the many lamentable dicks and asked, "Is this one of yours?" which James kind of wants to thump him for. It's bad enough that he looks like a madman who stuffed his house with naked drawings of his brother, now people are actually assuming that he drew the damn things, even though most of the compositions are appallingly far beneath his skill level. He's a professional illustrator, for the love of god, and Shane is really standing before him like the posturing prick he is, asking him if he's the one who drew Sirius with one arm disproportionately longer than the other.
He knows that he should cheer up.
It is his birthday. There is cake.
Good cake, too, not the kind that gets buried in too-thick fondant that he has to pick off before he can eat what's underneath.
The problem is, there's also a party, and his friends are his friends, Peter and Sirius included, and Peter and Sirius can both get drunk much faster than James can. When Peter and Sirius get drunk, serious injuries tend to follow, Remus tends to fuck off in a flash and James tends to be the one who calls for an ambulance or mothers them back to health—physical, mental or otherwise. He has just turned twenty-six, and these repeated, drunkenly dramatic medical emergency scenes are starting to wear a little thin.
Can't a man get comfortably drunk and have a laugh at his own birthday party?
No, he can't, because Peter's already halfway to trashed, wobbling unsteadily towards the French doors that lead to the terrace, wearing that look on his face that says I'm definitely going to vomit or maybe even shit myself like I did on that one night we all spent in Munich with the Belgian handball team and the creepy tour guide who couldn't keep his sleazy hands to himself. For the sake of sparing the lawn such a punishment, James hastily removes himself from Shane, grabs Peter by the collar, shoves him in the direction of the downstairs loo and retreats to the safety of the living room, where there are, at least, no naked drawings of Sirius gracing the walls.
Most of the people in here are transfixed by Saffy Stephens, who is down to the last three in her Fortnite game and cursing like a sailor, but there are a small pile of birthday cards on the end table where James and Sirius normally keep their keys. He perches on the sofa arm, sets his half-drunk beer bottle on the carpet, pushes his dark, disheveled hair away from his forehead and begins leafing through them. It's a necessity when one lives with Sirius, who thinks nothing of swiping gift cards when the mood strikes him and he's had enough to drink.
They're mostly from his female friends, and all pretty standard, until he reaches the middle of the pile and finds a card bearing a picture of a moustached tabby and the caption: Have a Purr-fect Birthday!
The inscription inside is written in a lovely, swirling hand.
To Jasper/Jack/Jason/maybe Ja Rule?/J-something idk
(see above: everything I've learned about you from the friend* I came here with, verbatim)
(*who can't remember your name)
Happy Birthday! Thank you for (not) specifically inviting me, a stranger, to your party to celebrate this momentous event in your life. Please enjoy this festive card/social nicety/convention from me to you. My friend brought rum which you may prefer.
I'll be around. Not that you'll know.
LE
James lowers the card and twists on the sofa arm at once, eyes darting around the room in search of its author, as if they might be laying in wait to watch him read it and see how he reacts. Nobody appears to have ducked behind the couch, however, so the situation merits further scrutiny.
Obviously, he needs to meet this person.
A mystery! At his birthday party!
He perks right up after that.
*
She's coming out of the downstairs loo when a short, blonde man in a garish Hawaiian shirt barrels past her and pukes all over the chequerboard tiled floor, narrowly missing her jeans.
"Oh no," he moans into his wet hands. "Oh no—"
"There there, mate," says Lily consolingly, never one to judge somebody for getting drunk early at a party. She pats him on the back before squeezing past him and rejoining Kingsley, who is standing in one of this meandering Georgian house's many hallways, chatting to a bloke in a houndstooth sweater vest and holding two glasses of something very, very sparkly that she must try at once.
"It's like...it's like everything and nothing at the same time," Houndstooth Bloke is saying when Lily draws close, gesturing to a huge canvas painting of a rain-soaked fairground at night.
"Is it?" Kingsley asks.
"Mmm. Very." Houndstooth shakes his shoulders like he's slipping out of a robe. "Meant to be esoteric, I suppose."
That sounds suspiciously like pretentious bullshit to Lily, who doesn't find the concept of a merry looking fairground all that difficult to absorb. Kingsley knows more about the art world than she does, but he must agree with her assessment because he grunts and shoves her glass into her hand when she stops beside him, and more roughly than she deserves, as if she's the one who landed him in this mess of a conversation to begin with.
Trust him to find himself stuck with the only dick (not etched by a 4B Steadtler graphite pencil) in the building, and trust her to be stuck with the person who got himself stuck with King.
"What are we talking about?" she asks brightly, just to fuck with him.
"Drink your champagne, there's a good little hen," King mutters, his teeth clenched together, hallway lights bouncing off the smoothly waxed dome of his bald head.
"We've been discussing this piece." Houndstooth nods to the painting, but his limpid eyes narrow on Lily's face. "Christ, you're very redheaded, aren't you?"
It's decided. She'll wait 'til Houndstooth is drunk and trip him up with Henry Hoover's hose.
"Ergo soulless, yes," she agrees.
"And you...enjoy that?" he asks, as if being redheaded is her profession.
"Very much, thanks."
"Hmmp. Well. I came here with Saffron," he announces, pronouncing it Sef-ron. As if Lily is supposed to know who that is. "Platonically, of course. Actually, we're some sort of cousins, I think. What do you think the artist is trying to convey?"
He's very pointedly asking her, so Lily blinks at the painting, her eyes on the outstretched arm of a child on the carousel.
"I like the pretty colours," she decides aloud.
"Right," says Houndstooth, "but that's not—"
"And the lights, too. The lights are really pretty."
"But—"
"I love funfairs, actually," she brightly continues, finding a strange satisfaction in playing dumb in front of Houndstooth and his overbleached fade. Although she does really like the colours. "Haven't been to one in years!"
"Yes, good, whatever, but what is the artist trying to convey?"
"What artist?" comes a voice from behind them.
Lily glances over her shoulder and finds herself looking up at the man whose penis she's spent the past thirty minutes avoiding eye contact with, though he is taller, better proportioned and infinitely more beautiful than any of those crudely drawn depictions could possibly convey. He is also beplumed and bejewelled like a pirate, wearing a sumptuous velvet jacket over a loose white shirt, numerous rings on his fingers and an assortment of silver chains around his slender neck, while his grey eyes and elegantly high-set cheekbones are framed by a tumble of black hair that genuinely looks like silk.
The man is so beautiful, in fact, that Lily immediately wonders why he's been taking sketches home from the life drawing class that he and Kingsley pose for—hence their acquaintance and Lily's presence at this party—when nothing she's seen tonight has done him any justice.
Most happily, his penis is tucked safely out of sight.
"Alright, Sirius?" says King.
"Alright, Marvel?" Sirius claps a hand to the taller man's massive shoulder. Kingley's muscles bulge in a way that cannot be hidden by modern habiliments. "What are we talking about?"
"Not much." Houndstooth looks put out by the arrival of yet another person. "We were just mesmerised by this piece."
Lily refrains from gesturing to the painting with both hands and a "ta-dah!" choosing instead to sip her champagne.
It's very good champagne. Mmm. Yes.
"Oh, yeah, it's really something," Sirius agrees. He brushes past Kingsley and runs a finger over the illegible squiggle of a signature on the canvas. His nails are beautifully manicured. "Local guy, young up-and-comer. I assume you've heard of Algernon?" he asks Houndstooth, fixing him with a steely-eyed stare.
"Er, yes." Houndstooth's gaze slides from Sirius to the painting. "I know him."
Sirius's eyebrows lift. "Know him personally?"
"Well—"
"That's so weird, I heard he never speaks to people."
Houndstooth chews on the inside of his cheek, weighing up the challenge. "How…funny."
"Funny?"
"Oh, nothing. It's just, I know I've spoken to him before, and since you've bought his painting I assumed that you'd have—"
"That is funny, actually," Sirius interrupts, "because the artist is my brother, and Algernon is the name of his cat."
Kingsley has been tugging on his earring and almost rips it out of his ear as his body convulses, champagne spraying from his nostrils, while an alarming red flush sweeps across Houndstooth's face and he begins to sputter on his own self-importance. Sirius has clearly decided that he's done with all of that noise, however, because he turns back to Lily instead, looking her up and down with great and sudden interest.
"Who's this then?" he asks Kingsley, cocking his head to one side. "James's present?"
The champagne glass swings down and Lily fixes him with a deadpan stare. "Excuse me?"
Sirius slants a grin at Kingsley, a quick flash of teeth. "This one's queenly, isn't she?"
Kingsley wipes his nose with the back of his hand and laughs again. "Hardly."
"This is Primark, mate," Lily retorts, tugging on her t-shirt.
"Queenliness is a state of mind," says Sirius, "not a state of wardrobe."
"You had me marked down as a prostitute not ten seconds ago."
"Oh, that. I was only joking," he sighs, and grips her arm at the elbow, his long fingers cool against her skin. "But still, you're far too attractive to stand here talking to this clown. Come with me and I'll find you someone better."
*
James's friends are useless.
And drunk. Useless and drunk—or sort of drunk, in Saffy's case. Remus is certainly already pissed, but Remus is on meds so often that he drinks but once in a blue moon. One cocktail is usually enough to set him off, and he's been hard at the gin since he turned up with Peter at six.
"I don't know anyone with those initials," Saffy declares, once she has read, examined and even sniffed the birthday card for clues. "Except for Lisa Edelstein."
"Who's Lisa Edelstein?"
"Cuddy from House," says Remus, lowering the negroni from which he has been drinking deeply.
James pulls a face. "What the fuck is a Cuddy?"
"Oh, actually, it could mean le?" Remus suggests.
"Yes!" Saffy points at him like he might be onto something. "Like the French word for the?"
"Exactly, like—"
"It doesn't mean that!" James interrupts, unwilling to allow such profanity in his home. "That doesn't make sense, why would somebody sign their name as the?"
"Now you're asking me to explain how French people think?" says Saffy derisively, adjusting her bra strap beneath that burnt orange waistcoat she loves, the one that makes her look like she's directing a pornographic movie in the 70s when she pairs it with her tortoiseshell-framed aviators. It clashes wildly with her electric blue buzz-cut. "Am nooooo drunk enough for that."
"They could be one of those one word moniker pop stars, I suppose," Remus pipes up, smiling slyly. "You know, like Madonna?"
They think James doesn't realise that they're taking the piss out of him, but neither of them are sober enough to attempt their gambit with any kind of subtlety or grace.
"You know that's actually her real Christian name?" says Saffy.
Remus turns towards her with interest. "What, Madonna?"
"Yeah!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!" Saffy repeats. "I thought it couldn't possibly be her real name because, I mean, Madonna, yeah? But then I looked it up and apparently that's the name her mummy gave her, just goes to show—"
"I'm sorry," James interrupts, "but is Madonna relevant to this conversation?"
"Yes, always," says Saffy.
"She's an international pop megastar," Remus seconds.
James stares at his friend incredulously. "Drinking really chips away at your wit, y'know?"
"Does it?" Remus grins lazily and jiggles his cocktail in the air. "Oh, well, I'm negronly joking."
Saffy does a spit-take without the spit and clings helplessly to Remus's shoulder as she laughs, knees buckling, bangles tinkling, but James fights his own urge to start snickering.
"It's not that funny," he lies, and Remus eyes him with an alarmingly teacher-like shrewdness, despite the tellingly intoxicated flush that has crept into his thin, freckled face.
James's love of puns is tragically well known.
"You didn't get it." Remus points at his drink. His speech is starting to slur. "This is a negroni, what I said was—"
"Yeah, I got that part, I just—"
"Jesus fuck, look at her!" Saffy suddenly hisses, staggering sideways into Remus and sending him into the wall in a flurry of giggles—Remus giggling?—her voice hushed and urgent. "Who the hell is that?!"
James does look, following the direction of Saffy's gaze. Sirius has just entered the living room, casually clutching the elbow of a……
……goddess.
An actual. Like. Goddess.
A goddess. In James's house. In his living room. In the place where he eats his chocolate boulder cereal and rewatches Scrubs (even season 9, which is hilarious, and very unfairly disparaged by Joe Public) on Saturday mornings.
She's a goddess. A real one, and cleverly disguised as a mortal, sure, with her slouchy white t-shirt and her big hoop earrings and her light blue jeans that are torn at the knees, wearing her shoulder-length red hair half up, half down and slightly messy, but that doesn't hide what she is.
"Oh my god," he murmurs. His heart is pounding all of a sudden, which is so...utterly bloody stupid, but Saffy's right, bloody look at her, Jesus fuck.
"Surely she can't be with Sirius?" Saffy murmurs back.
"No, she—" He watches Sirius lean down to mutter something in the redhead's ear. A ghost of a laugh flits across her beautiful face. "She's not his—he isn't—"
"D'you think—"
"No, I—"
"Good," says Saffy firmly. She lets go of Remus and rises, lengthening her spine. It is a battle stance of some sort, presumably. "Because I saw her first."
"No!" James cries, wounded, and the redhead shoots him a curious look with a pair of eyes that are startlingly emerald green, even from all the bloody way over here. He spins to face Saffy and lowers his voice, face burning. "It's my house!"
"What are you arguing here, ownership rights?"
"No but it—it's my birthday!" James retorts, jabbing at his own chest. "And, actually, and—"
"It's in the bloody post!"
"—you didn't get me a present!" he finishes in triumph, not that he knows what he's arguing for, because the likelihood is that his tongue will glue itself to the roof of his mouth if he even dares to look in her direction one more time. "Plus I set you up with Vanya Petrich, with whom, as I recall, you enjoyed four years—"
"Stop throwing that in my face!"
"—four blissful years—"
"Is it my fault that you've never fancied any girl I've set you up with?!"
"—promised me an Easter ham for setting you up with her and I never got it—"
"So now you'll trade a woman for a ham?" Saffy accuses, though her face is too lit up, her brown eyes too crinkled at the corners—she's having fun with this and she isn't going to fool him and she knows it. "That's so low, even—"
"Don't start with that," James scathingly cuts in. "You offered me Sean Connery's autograph for Bonnie Grogan's number—"
"Which you never gave me!"
"Because you forged the bloody signature!"
"And now she's bloody married!"
"Yeah, well, Isabella wouldn't give me a counterfeit present, would she?" he retorts, and Saffy lets her shoulders drop, smirking. "This is pointless, Saf, we can't—"
"She's just left with Sirius," Remus informs them, and burps.
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lou-struck · 3 years ago
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Merry Lit-mas
Denki Kaminari x Reader
Day 2: Stringing the Lights
25 Days of Ficmas Masterlist
WC:1,200+
It’s still dark when you wake up in your apartment. The sun is poking through the thick winter clouds as if it is playing a game. It’s early, rolling over to check your phone you see that you have a text message from your boyfriend that was sent hours ago.
“Good morning beautiful, I’m decorating for Christmas if you want to come over to help. You don’t have to do anything but seeing your face will keep me motivated ;)“
You have to do a double take at the message, this was sent at four in the morning. Did he send this before he went to sleep after staying up late playing video games?
Feeling concerned about Denki you decide to head over to his home.
On the drive over you pick up a coffee, if he is asleep, you feel he deserves a piece offering for waking him up, if he is awake…He’ll need it.
Pulling into his driveway you step out of the car drinks in hand as you look around. You don’t see your boyfriend. Sighing in relief you go to his front door to let yourself in. Even though he is a pro hero he has a bad habit of not locking his front door Suddenly you hear a voice form above calling your name. Locking up you see him, Denki Kaminari standing tall on his rooftop. His hair is disheveled, and he is holding a coil of lights in one hand and a large staple gun in the other.
“Hey!” he yells excitedly waving his arms almost losing his balance and falling off his slanted roof top.
Denki shimmies down the ladder unbothered by the fact he almost died and rushes over to give you a tight hug as you hold the coffees out so they don’t get crushed by the Stun-Gun hero.
“I’m so happy you made it!” he says enthusiastically spotting the coffee. “Is that for me?”
“Of course, Denks.” You say as he takes the warm cup putting it to his lips. As you smooth out the top of his head.
“It’s so warm, my hands were kind of getting cold up there, “he says looking around at the house “I still have so much to do.”
“What do you need?” you ask as he pulls you into his garage to a large worktable.
“First I need this,” he says as he pulls you into a kiss as you happily return it warming his cold lips with your warm ones. Before gesturing to a sketch of his home that he very obviously drew himself.
“These are my blueprints.” He says proudly, “I drew them up myself this morning. So if you want you can put up lights on the lower windows decorate the lawn while I can finish working on the roof then come down and help.”
You look at him feeling very impressed with all the planning and organization he had put into this. “You must love the holidays Denks.” You tell him not even hiding how awestruck you are by the large coils of lights he has obtained.
As the two of you get to work you realize a few things.
Some may say that the first week of December is too early to decorate for Christmas. Some may think it is inappropriate to blast Christmas pop hits at eight in the morning. Some people just refuse to drink the Kool-Aid of holiday cheer. Denki Kaminari is not one of these people and you love him for it.
You move efficiently unraveling lights and lacking them through the various trees and shrubbery throughout the yard as Denki tests each strand of lights using his quirk sending small bolts of electricity through the coils to search for dead or broken bulbs.
He is clearly in his element somehow finishing the roof before you even touch half the yard making sure to line each and every window with tiny lightbulbs and ornamental festive greens.
Around lunch time the two of you take a break wanting to eat something warm and filling to combat the chilly labor you have been preforming. As he orders the two of you recaffeinate on the couch trying to steal each other’s body heat.
“Thanks for helping babe.” He says wrapping an arm lazily around your shoulders. “This year I really stepped up my game.”
“Why the change?” you ask raising a brow at him.
He stops for a moment bracing himself for the explanation. “Last year the neighbors bought a projector. Everyone though It was so cool as the guy was just bragging about how easy it was to put up. I had to work a lot so I couldn’t put up anything”
“Is that really the reason?” you laugh as he takes an exaggerated deep breath.
“That’s a part of the reason, the other of course is that I want to impress you.” He says teasingly, you have been dating for almost a year, but he still flirts with you like he’s trying to score a first date.
“Well color me, impressed baby.” You say ruffling his hair as he slightly blushes. As he sits up abruptly.
“You haven’t even seen the rest of it, the lights may be up but I have so many more things to bring out. We are going to blow everyone away.” He says excitedly as he shows you his outline of everything else that has to be done. You can only smile and nod seeing him so excited.
After eating the two of you head out once again getting to work putting up a small army of light-up snowmen, and reindeer discreetly hiding the many extension cords as Denki works to hang up a comically large Christmas wreath.
“Babe?” you ask concerned as you look at the mass of cords. “Is all this safe to plug in without blowing a fuse?”
“Normally no, but I am a master decorator. I have my ways of making this work.” He says stepping down from the ladder he was on. “Check this out this is a special generator that I can power with my quirk. I can use it for all the decorations without touching my home power.” He grins as you laugh.
“Only you would do this. How much did that cost you?” you ask him jokingly
“Too much” he admits dragging you to help him put up more decorations.
The two of you finish up just as the daylight drains from the sky. Feeling thoroughly exhausted as Denki takes you out to his sidewalk.
“Wait here, I want you to have the best view of everything being turned on.” He says before rushing over to the generator. “Ready?”
You nod excitedly as he powers up the generator with his quirk sending electricity through the mechanism. Immediately it’s as if the house came to life with a beautiful arrangement of lights and colors.
Despite the sheer number of bulbs and mechanisms, the house looks beautifully elegant. A wide smile washes over your face as he runs over to admire your handiwork.
“Do you like it?” he asks nervously hugging you from behind
“It’s beautiful Denks!” you exclaim unaware of the neighbors from all over the street coming outside to view the finished project.
“I think they’ll have to step up their game.” He says quietly in your ear warming it with his hot breath. “No projector can stand up to the product of our love.”
“You’re such a dork.” You giggle as the two of you stare mesmerized at the home seeing each and every bulb shine for all to see.
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wonder-kid-pugh · 4 years ago
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Waiting Long Enough - (Rose Lavelle x reader)
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!! I was thankfully able to finish this late last night (sorry I was busy and only got to post it now). I'm working on another one but I'm not sure if I'll get it finished for today but I'll post it as soon as it's done. But for now I hope you enjoy!!!
The idea of soulmates is great. Scratch that it's euphoric. I mean imagine having someone who was literally made to be with you. Someone to be there for the good and bad days. Someone who does the little things for you just cause. Someone who gives you that sense of calm when the world might be falling around you. The perfect partner who knows you better than yourself sometimes.
In theory
The idea of soulmates is brilliant. But there's the small fact you have to consider. The fact of you have to find them first.
That's the part Rose struggled with.
Now they did have some help. Everyone had the day they meet their soulmate tattooed on their wrist. So you could imagine the feeling when Rose's tattoo told her she would meet her soulmate on Valentine's Day of all days.
Rose couldn't believe her luck. It seemed like something out of a movie. When she was younger she would always imagine these romantic chance encounters that would lead to her meeting her soulmate. Like something out of a fairy tail. How she would meet her soulmate and would be swept off her feet for the love holiday and fall in love.
The thought of it sounded perfect except for one thing......
The tattoo told you the day....not the year
So it was a repetitive cycle of heartbreak as Rose would wake up excited for Valentine's Day only to be disappointed when she wouldn't meet her soulmate. She tried to stay optimistic but it was hard when year after year pasted only for her to remain single on her own having no one to celebrate the holiday with.
Now it wasn't fool proof. I mean there was plenty of other situations where the soulmate tattoo failed. There was Lindsey and Sonnet for example. Obviously they had both met at camp but they had never expected it to be one of their teammates. And Sonnett still to this day would have thought her soulmate would have been that girl at the coffee shop if it wasn't for a friendly game of Truth or Dare at a team bonding session which she was dared to kiss her the blonde colorado native which revealed their initials which burned underneath their tattoos.
It also didn't help that this year Rose had to spend Valentine's Day in camp surrounded by couples.
"Who shit in your cereal?" Kelley laughs as she see Rose glare at the Valentine's decorations that littered the meal room. "Shut it" Rose mutters as she stabs at her breakfast with her spoon. "What's up Rosie?" Alex asks as she sits beside her best friend. Sonnett laughs, "Yeah you don't look really in the loving spirit".
Rose just rolls her eyes, "Well excuse me that I don't feel up for celebrating Valentine's Day when I'm the only person on the team who hasn't met their soulmate". Mal gives the girl a small smile, "Sorry Rosie". Alex gives her a sympathetic smile, "I know it sucks but you shouldn't let that get you down. Who knows? Maybe today will be the day you meet them?".
But Rose lets out a sigh as she plays with her food, "I rather not get my hopes up only to be disappointed. Like every year". "Well what are your plans for the day?" Mal asks trying to stir away from the conversation of Love which was clearly upsetting the girl. Rose just shrugs, "Probably the same as every year I'll probably end up just watching TV and drown myself in junk food and wait until the day passes".
Sonnett scoffs, "How are you planning on meeting your soulmate if you don't even leave the hotel?" Rose just gives the blonde a look, "That is rich coming from the pair that thought that having the same tattoo was a coincidence. If it wasn't for Kelley daring you to kiss each other at Truth or Dare you idiots still wouldn't know". Sonnett pouts, "Harsh". Lindsey shrugs, "But true".
Kelley points her fork at the blondes, "I still expect to be godmother of your first child.....or your child be named at me I'm fine with either".
While the two blondes blush furiously, Kelley turns back to Rose, "They are right though". Rose just glares at the defender as she raises her hands in surrender, "Hey how do you expect the love of your life to find you if you don't even give them a chance?"
Rose huffs because as much as she didn't want it admit it, Kelley was right. The chance of her soulmate finding her while she was couped up in her room feeling sorry for herself was very unlikely. "Well what do you want me to do? Walk around wearing a sign saying, "Are you my soulmate?""
Kelley shrugs, "I mean if it works..."
Alex sighs and shakes her head, "And you were doing so well..." Kelley looks at her best friend hurt, "Hey!" Mal turns to Rose, "They're right you should do something tonight". Rose bites her lip she knew her teammates were right but after years of searching she really didn't feel like having another let down. Mal puts her hand on the midfielders shoulder, "Look some of us were planning on going to a club tonight. You should come with us".
Rose frowns, "I don't know Mal". Lindsey jumps in, "C'mon it'll be fun! Worst case scenario you don't meet them and you have a good time with us. Best case scenario you find your soulmate and you thank us forever".
Rose bites her lip as she thinks for a second before sighing running her hand through her hair, "Fine what do I have to lose". The youngsters cheer as Mal wraps her arm around her, "Tonight's gonna be fun!" Rose sighed
She could only hope so
...........
Rose soon realised early on that her friends were wrong. They had barely been in the club and hour and she had already lost her friends. Granted they had lost Lindsey and Sonnett 15 minutes after entering the club. Rose rolled her eyes thinking that they were no doubt making out in the bathroom right now or worst not that Rose wanted to think about the later.
All she knew is that one second she was dancing with Mal and the others and the next she suddenly couldn't see anyone. She felt like she had searched the entire club but couldn't find any of her friends.  Rose pushed her way through the crowd hoping to find someone at the bar hopefully (she knew there was a 50 percent chance Kelley would be there) only to be disappointed when she didn't find anyone.
Rose let out a sigh as she slips her phone out of her to text the girls but before she can even switch on the phone she feels someone sliding up to her. A bit too close for her liking. "Hey there". Rose looks up to see a man smiling at her. Rose had to hold back a wince as he looked her up and down with what could only he described as a predatory look. Rose could only give him a small smile before turning away slightly trying to text one of the girls. But obviously he didn't get the hint as he just leans closer into her, "You here alone?"
Letting out a sigh she turns back to him, "I'm sorry but I have to go". She pushes her way back to the entrance before leading the club. Rose starts to text Mal that she was leaving to go back to the hotel when she bumped into someone.
"Oof" she grunts as she stumbles backwards from the collision. But before she could fall arms wrap around her steading her. "Oh gosh I'm so sorry". Rose shakes it off, "It's fine. I wasn't looking where I was going".
But when Rose looked up she let out a small gasp
As blue met green it had felt like the world had stopped. It was like Rose had temporarily forgot how to breathe as she looked into the stunning green eyes that peered down at her. And they would have no doubt stayed like that if it weren't for the shout behind her.
Rose couldn't help the groan as she turned to see the same guy from the club had followed her out. He gives her a grin, "There you are!" Rose sighs before speaking bluntly, "Look I'm sorry but I'm not interested". The man didn't look a bit deterred though as he just shrugs with a smile, "You sure I can't change your mind?" Before Rose can even think about saying anything she feels someone wrap their arm around her waist, "I think she's okay". I look behind me to see the same person from before that I bumped into her.
The guy looked a little taken back before he shakes it off, "Well if you ever change your mind you know where to find me". He sends the soccer player one last wink because strolling back into the club. Rose scoffs before smiling at her saviour, "Thanks. I don't think he would have left me alone if you hadn't stepped in".
But the stranger just shyly rubs the back of her neck, "No worries. Consider it an apology for barging into your earlier". It was this time that Rose got a good look at her saviour. She was seemed to tower over her. Not as tall as Sam but still tall. She was wearing jeans paired with a tight muscle tee which showed off her biceps. But what drew Rose in was the soft green eyes. They were so gentle and caring.
Rose suddenly realised that she was staring and blushed brightly already feeling the heat pour off her face, "W-well uh t-thank you for the help. I'm sorry for bumping into you". She gives me a smile, "I-its no problem".
Rose bit her lip playing with her phone before smiling at her, "Uh well I better go". Rose was silently hoping she would say something to stop her from leaving but she only nods. The midfielder gives her one last smile before brushing past her. She couldn't deny that the simple contact sent shivers up her spine like a shock of electricity.
But Rose had only made it about 5 steps before she was called back. Rose had to bite her lip to try and stave off the smile before she turned back around. The girl was sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck, "Uh do you mind if I walk you back? Just so I know you get there safely". But she immediately starts to stutter, "Uh unless that's weird. Yeah that's weird I-I'm sorry. Feel free to tell me to get lost".
But the poor girl was cut off by Rose giggling, "Yeah I would like that". She grins as she falls into step with the soccer player as they start the trek back to the hotel. It's quiet for a moment before the girl speaks up again, "I never got your name?" The midfielder smiles up at her, "Rose". She starts to chuckle making Rose tilt her head at her, "What?" She shrugs, "Nothing just that my name is Daisy". Rose couldn't help but snort, "Seriously?" She nods, "Seriously".
After that the conversation just flowed. The two were able to talk about anything and everything. Rose talked about soccer and her love of dogs which sparked off Daisy talking about her job as a vet. She even showed Rose some pictures of the animals she helped even if Rose mainly focused on the dogs.
But sadly it seemed that their time was up as they came up to the hotel. They stopped at the entrance neither knowing what exactly to do and both hoping to find some way of making this run longer. "Well this is me" Rose says quietly. Daisy just rocks on the balls of her feet, "Yeah.."
Rose bites the inside of her cheek hoping that something anything would happen to prevent her from going inside just yet. Rose had never felt more connected to anyone like this. Sure she had met people that she thought could have been her soulmate but none that gave her butterflies like this. But part of her held back scared of yet another failed attempt which she couldn't help after years of false hope.
But before she could even think of anything to say it was Daisy who filled the silence, "I-I know we've only met but c-can I try something?" Rose just silently nods as she watches the girl nervously step towards her. The soccer players breathe hitches as the taller girl cupped her face in her hands. But she couldn't help but lean into the warmth of her hand. Daisy searched her eyes looking for any bit of hesitance or doubt but when she found none she started to lean in. Both of them slowly started to lean until their lips met in a sweet and gentle kiss.
The kiss was unlike anything the girls had ever felt before. It would have gone on longer if no doubt for the burn they both felt on their wrists' making them pull back. Rose smiles down at the D.C now tattooed on her wrist forever more before looking up at her soulmate, "You don't know how long I've been waiting for that". Daisy just chuckles as she pulls out her wallet, "I always carry this in my wallet. It always felt right, I just didn't really know why until now".
Rose scrunches her face until Daisy hands her a  pressed flower....a rose to be exact. Rose smiles brightly before leaning back up to press another kiss to her lips. And that was the start of the story of Rose and Daisy. And their blossom relationship.
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physicalturian · 3 years ago
Text
[18+] Undisclosed Desires - Miya Atsumu x Fem!Reader
[She/Her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18]
Words : 9480
Archive of our own
Tags : Frennemies to lovers / Cunnilungus / Drinking / Partying / Fluff / Wholesome / Hickies/ Oral sex / Vaginal sex / Blow jobs
If you think I should add some tags, tell me!
Summary : Pulling an all-nighter with Atsumu leads to both of you realising you've been wanting one another for far too long or...
“Tell me you don’t like me, and I’ll stop flirting,” He said. Without thinking, I snorted in surprise, “That’s not a question, maybe you should check the definition in the dictionary-“ “Just say you don’t like me, so that we’re clear and I’ll stop, it’s simple, you like simple right?" [Continuation of Define Hate]
---
A date night? Was this a date night? No, that would be weird. Just… two newly-friends, hanging out together because their drunk, chaotic, friends were out and about without giving any news. Nothing more, because Miya Atsumu being handsome shouldn’t make a difference to the type of hanging out that was happening, right? Yes. I’m right. Hope he doesn’t think it’s a date. It’d be flattering though…
Throwing him a glance, I watched carefully as he grabbed the order from the person at the drive-through, thanking them. I don’t know why he had removed his jacket the moment he got in the car, but right now he was just flexing his muscles and I couldn’t care less. No matter how good it looked. I didn’t care.
“What, do you need something else?” He asked, catching me off guard.
Catching myself, I quirked a brow, knowing he was talking about my insistent look, but I played it off “Are you sure there’s everything?” I asked, nodding at the order bag in his hands. His reply was to drop the burning paper bag on my lap, grinning, then saying “Check if you’re so worried, but have a little faith in the people,” “Faith has nothing to do with this, it's late and I’d understand if they forgot something that’s all.” I shrugged, checking that everything was in there.
“Right, right, what’s the report chief?” He did ask, but before I could reply he had started driving off. I rolled my eyes and closed the bag, “All good, Atsumu. Let’s go back to your place so we can eat that,“ He nodded but I continued, smirking mischievously. “Actually… I could start eating now, I’m not the one driving,” I purposely made more noise when I opened the bag, earning a complaint from the player as he slapped my hand off the package. “No! Not in my car! That- that is not fair! You don’t get to torture me with the smell when I’m driving, come on,”
Chuckling, I pushed his hand away. He was gripping the bag closed and did not seem willing to let go. “I promise I’m not going to eat in your car, you can let go,” I said, trying to pry his hand open, but he was not budging. “Right, I’d let go but it’s kind of cute seeing you struggling, so I don’t know,” He trailed off, this time he was the one in the mischievous mood as he threw me a side glance. I felt my cheeks getting slightly warmer but ignored it. “So that’s what it’s all about, ah well. Hold the bag then, it saves me from doing it.” I shrugged, stopping everything and looking out the window.
“That’s not fun!! You’re not fun, you should try harder, make this-“ “I’m sorry, was I supposed to entertain you?” He let go with a long sigh, focusing back on the road. Both his hands on the steering wheel, a pout adorning his features. I was never going to admit that he was kind of cute like that, and if he asked anything with that face, I might just let him do anything. What? No, the man is just handsome. That’s it, good for him.
“I’ll find something that ticks you off, one day.” I heard him say. It earned him a very confused look from me as I faced him fully, now. He didn’t add to that until he was finally parked in front of a building and the car was off. “I mean, you’re always composed and all, like Omi-Omi actually! His thing is like, germs, and well… Me, but in a good way, you know? But you…” He squinted his eyes, pursing his lips as he made a thinking face. “I’ll find out soon enough,”
Grabbing the bag, I unbuckled the seatbelt and opened the door, “Yeah… Sure, have fun? I hope you’ll be successful in your-“ I waved vaguely at him, “Whatever this is,”
Laughing loudly, he got out of the car too, the jingle of his keys stopping suddenly when he dropped them on the ground after having swung them around his finger. Swearing under his breath, he grabbed them from the ground, then lead us inside, to his place.
We had to climb a flew flights of stairs, and when we arrived, he ushered me inside. “Go, go, the table’s right there, we’re eating this while it’s warm,” He said quickly as he locked the door behind us. He slipped off his shoes easily, so I handed him the bag before struggling a bit more with mine as I tried to stay balanced. Once I had slipped them off, I let out a sigh of relief when I finally freed. I always loved walking around in socks, I loved the muffled sound it made on the ground.
Looking back up, I took a bit of time looking around and taking in the display of the room. It wasn’t as small as I thought it’d be, but it was clearly a one-person apartment. Surprisingly, he hadn’t lied when he said the place was clean, the worse I could find was an empty bowl and a mug on the counter. Probably from this morning.
“It’s a nice place-“ “I actually cleaned it in case I brought someone back from the party, you know…” to fuck, was the underlying statement. I hated the way my stomach churned when he said, it was stupid. Instead, I laughed. “Did I perhaps ruin some plan of yours?”
“I mean, I brought you home, did I not?” I was confused upon seeing his expression. It seemed serious, darker… Less cute, sultrier. But it quickly dissipated at my lack of answer, or perhaps my face did all the talking. He suddenly laughed as he handed me my food and placed his in front of him, the drinks too. “I’m kidding! I mean, I did bring you home, but we’re going to pull an all-nighter and have fun, right?”
“Sure, if you think you call that fun to be worried about that idiot Bokuto- who even forgets their phone? I just-“ I threw my hands in the air, sighing. “A moron,”
“You really are worried, but he’ll be fine!” Atsumu took a large bite of his burger, but that didn’t stop him from talking, mouth full. “If we don’t get a call from Shoyo or Kuroo, then it’ll be the police because they arrested him, but they’re not gonna die or anything.” I think he understood how it did not help at all by the way I paused mid-way bringing the food to my mouth.
He slammed his hand on the table, hurriedly justifying, “I’m saying that because it happened once, but they’ll be fine! Trust me, if anything they might just be passed out on a parking lot- like, at worse.” “I think I don’t really feel reassured, and I’ll just bear through my worry. Nice try though, Miya, thanks for the food,” I nodded before starting eating.
The blond seemed dejected from failing in cheering me up, and for some reason I couldn’t bear seeing that silly face of him without a smile. Every time I’d seen him, he was grinning widely at whatever his teammates were telling him, now it felt uncanny to see him sad.
So, I bumped my foot against his, I had nothing to say that’d make him smile, so I changed topic, “Do you like the food?” This was bad. And if I knew that, he did too. A small smile drew itself on his lips, it slowly but surely grew, no answer from the man just yet. When he did, he threw his head back, “That’s your way of cheering me up? You’re bad at this!” He laughed.
Feeling my cheeks flush in embarrassment, I rolled my eyes and focused on my own food. “I wasn’t trying to cheer you up, I was simply asking a question,” I quickly looked up at the blond when he hooked his foot with mine, under the table, “Come on, I’m kidding-“ “Stop that, oh god it’s gross-“ I interrupted him when he tried to tickle my foot with his, our socks rubbing against one another in a way I did not like one bit.
“Does that mean you’re ticklish?!” He quickly looked under the table, trying to grab my foot but I stood up faster than he reached for it. Food in hand, I stood behind my chair with a deadpanned expression, “You’re a man child, I don’t have enough words to express how exhausting you’re going to be,” I scoffed as I continued eating, earning a frown from Atsumu. He shoved the rest of his burger in his mouth, without saying much. In awe, I gauged the speed at which he chewed that shit and swallowed it. For a second, I’d even say he gobbled it down instead of eating it.
“You’re not fun,” He huffed, opening another box. “Once again, I had no plan of entertaining you for the evening, Atsumu,” His answer was to throw a chicken nugget my way, it hit the table with a terrifying silence when I looked up at him with as much disdain possible. “Tell me you didn’t just throw me a chicken nugget,” I trailed off, sauntering closer to the table, grabbing the nugget with tip of fingers I was going to put it back in the box when Atsumu opened his mouth wide.
Pointing at his mouth, he tilted his head backwards, “Here,” was what he said, although it sounded unarticulated with his mouth open like that. I had to do a double take at the man’s request, “Why did you even think I’d consider that, after you launched that shit at me? Feed yourself on your own,” While I did try to keep the contempt on my face, I quickly turned around when I let a short smile slip when he took it from my hand and ate it quickly.
A fucking dog, that’s what he was. “So that means, if I hadn’t thrown it at you… You’d have considered it!!” Sitting back down, I put my hand in front of me to stop him, “That’s definitely not what I said,” although it was right. “Oh you said it, you did!”
Sighing, I finished my food without answering him. When I leaned over the table to take the empty bag next to Atsumu, I saw him handing me a chicken nugget, “An offering for forgiveness,” He said. “No thank you-“ “Come on, I’m full, if you don’t take it, it’ll go to the trash, come on,” He dragged his words in a pleading manner. It’s with a roll of eyes that I was about to take it from his hand, breathing out a “Sure,” but he shoved it in my mouth before I could take it, a manic grin on his face.
Through gritted teeth, I said, “I’ll bite your fingers off,” he quickly let go, his eyes never leaving me as I ate it, nonetheless, throwing him a side glance. Without losing more time, I grabbed the trash from the table. I was left standing in the middle of the kitchen when I turned around and looked at Atsumu a bit lost. He was leaning on the back of the chair, his elbow supporting his head as he looked at me with a smirk.
“Yes?” He inquired in a sing-song voice, knowing full well what I needed. I ignored his attitude and nodded at him, “Where’s the trash?” I know I could have the opportunity to make a joke about him, being the trash, but we were not on fighting terms anymore. And he was not a trashy man… Yet.
Pointing at me with his hand extended in front of him, palm up, he said, “In your hand-“ “-can, the trash can, the bin, the little box for the trash, I knew you’d be a little shit even with the simplest thing,” I rolled my eyes before turning around and putting everything on the counter. When I looked back, Atsumu was right behind me. Startled, I snuck under his arm and moved away from him, frowning. “What’re you doing Miya?”
“Chill, relax, I was going to throw everything away,” He opened the cabinet closer to the ground and pointed at the trash, “There,” then did as he said he would. For a moment I felt bad at my sudden reaction, but I also was aware that the man could come up behind and surprise me. May it be by tickling, as he tried earlier, or maybe poking my side. And I was not in the mood for either of those.
Humming, I kept an eye on him. Not only because I didn’t know what to do now that we had eaten, but also because part of me enjoyed the view of him as he reached for a glass in the pantry. His black shirt lifting ever so lightly, the side of his hip peeking from under the fabric. The tightness of the sleeves around his biceps, I never realized how defined his muscles were. Then again, it came with being a pro volleyball player, and it wasn’t uncommon. He wasn’t special, just annoying. “Ground control to major killjoy,”
Blinking out of my daydream, I met his eyes and noticed he was handing me a beer. I took it without much thinking, but didn’t move, “You good? Do you need me to open it or something?” He asked as he brought the glass bottle to his mouth, ready to uncap it with his teeth. I quickly took his from his hand and went on a scavenging hunt to find a bottle-opener. “You send goosebumps down my spine with that stupidity, do you often uncap bottles with your teeth?- No, actually, I don’t want to know,” Opening them, I handed him his with a sigh.
“Come on, it’s a cool party trick! I can also do that thing where-“ He pulled the side of his mouth in a wide smile and stuck his tongue out, making it look a lot longer than it was. For some reason, part of me found it kind of lewd, the way he moved his tongue up and down, his back teeth showing. A party trick wouldn’t be what I’d call it, he looked like an idiot doing it, but a pretty one. “Right, a party trick. It makes one wonder if there is one thing that mouth can’t do, right?” I quickly regretted it when he stopped his silly display and looked at me with raised brows and a huge smile.
“Oh, it can do a lot more, are you curious?” He brought the bottle to his mouth and twirled his tongue around the tip, his eyes never leaving mine. I clenched my jaw and forced myself to look away, hating the way he was getting to me. Only hours ago, he was hating me, and right now the animosity was completely gone, and the man was feeling a lot more confident being flirtatious than spurring complete bullshit about me. “You don’t know how strongly I wish to shove that bottle in your mouth,” I rolled my eyes, turning away from him and walking to the living-room.
I heard the muffled sound of his footsteps on the parquet as he hurried behind me, “You’d be surprised by what’d happen, for your info I don’t have a gag reflex,”
Turning around, I quirked a brow, “Ok? Good for you!” He pouted as I continued, “That doesn’t mean I want to watch you slut yourself out in front of me though,” For some reason it made him laugh. Walking in front of me, he disappeared in a room and returned with his laptop in hand. “Deep down I know you want me,” A huff escaped my lips with how convinced he was and how much energy he still had this late.
“If it keeps you going, sure!” That kind of banter was interesting, but I was curious of how far he would go with his words. Joining him in the living room, I sat down on the couch and watched him as he installed the computer on the low table. He had gotten changed and was now wearing shorts instead of the cargo pants he had at the party. Probably for comfort, although it did make his ass look good like that. I quickly shook the thought away when Atsumu dropped two blankets on the couch along some pillows, purposely throwing the pillows at my face.
I took a deep breath and threw him a serious glare. “Do you ever, not? Or are you constantly trying to start shit?” His reply was a huge grin at first. He wasn’t fully facing me, and even crouched in front of the table as he unlocked his laptop and started looking for the movie. While I did roll my eyes at his reaction, I did not mind much. It felt like the man needed a lot of attention and was not satisfied with my little to no reaction to every shit he had done.
“I don’t know, it’s fun. ‘Should have thrown it back at me,” He shrugged while settling down on the couch. He set his feet on the table, then threw the blanket on his legs. I had thrown mine over my shoulders and was sitting tailor-styled on the couch, cocooned. “Right, and with your great reflexes you’d have caught it and definitely not spilled the beer, right?”
“I play volleyball, of course I’d have caught it! Did you forget or something?” His eyes were wide open in confusion, he looked at me a bit longer while I felt like an idiot for forgetting in those few seconds. I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling my face heat up, “Just start the movie already,” I huffed, checking my phone to see if I had received any text or call from Kuroo or Bokuto. But there were none.
An annoyed sound escaped my throat when Atsumu pried my phone away from my hand and kept it away from me. I tried to get it from his hand, but he placed a hand on my stomach to keep me from leaning further in. After less than a minute I grunted, “You’re a child, give it back to me when you’re done checking if I have fun games for you to play with,” I winced at my own words, sensing I was more annoyed than I actually thought I was. Before he could reply, I played the movie and crossed my arms over my chest, focusing on the screen.
“Come on, I’m playing with ya,” He nudged my elbow, I looked at him from the corner of my eye but did not say anything.
“You named me by my full name in your contact list? That sucks, I’ll change it to something cooler-“ Before he could do anything, I snatched my phone out of his hand and locked it. I didn’t even look at his face when I dropped it back on my lap, but I could guess he was surprised and, or, frustrated. Knowing this, I felt like gloating but as much as I tried to hold back my proud smile, I felt the rictus on the corner of my lips.
I was glad to not hear anything from him, it meant I could enjoy the movie while he was pouting in his corner. The quiet was welcomed. Leaning forward to grab my beer from the table, I put my hand on my lap to hold my phone from falling down but didn’t feel it there. Looking down at my lap, it wasn’t there, nor on my sides, I started patting the couch and everywhere around me then I felt Atsumu grab my hand and put it on my phone that was now in his hand. “Looking for this?” He asked, a smug smile on his lips.
“You can’t do shit if it’s locked, so, hand it over,” I wrapped my fingers around my phone, and his fingers in the process. When I tried to grab it out of his grasp, Atsumu moved my hand and managed to get the camera opened. “Look at us, being friendly and stuff,” He pulled the phone up to take a selfie of both of us, wrapping his free hand around mine to stop me from going for my phone. Putting our clasped hands in front of him, he made sure we could see it on the screen and took a few photos.
When he was done, I pried his hand away from mine, “Are you done? The moment I’m alone, I am going to-“ “you’re going to put them as the background for your phone, or just really stare at it ‘cause you love me that much, I understand.”
“I’m going to delete them, more than anything,” I said with a smirk, loving the puppy look in his eyes when I said so. It did not last long, only seconds after he handed me my phone back and said, “You wouldn’t dare, we look too good for those to go to the trash,” He made sure to show them to me, but I only chuckled.
“I always look good, no need to show me,” I waved him off, focusing once more on the movie. What caught me off guard was the blonde’s reply, which was said in an almost genuine tone, “Yeah, you’re right, you’re always hot,” He did not add anything else. I would have expected a joke following it, or an addition saying that he was also hot, but nothing. Instead, he looked at the screen without a word. Seeing how relaxed he was, I probably got too much in my head when feeling like there was some tension between us. So, I took a few deep breaths and calmed my flushing cheeks.
Nothing much was said, so I made sure to comment here and there. Part of me felt like I couldn’t stay silent the entire time, knowing Atsumu like the movie. Or so I thought.
“Wait you’re telling me his name is Wall-E is an acronym for like, little trash worker? For real?” I said, confused. Then quickly added, “Here, if he’s collecting those trinkets that means it has sentimental value, right? That doesn’t make sense, he’s a robot, is he like sentient or something?” The moment I finished talking, Atsumu paused the movie and looked at me with a frown.
“You shouldn’t be allowed to watch kid’s movie, it’s for kids! There is nothing like, sentient or something, it’s just, a little robot trying his best, okay?”
“But it’s stupid, I mean sure it’s been programmed for that, but there isn’t anyone else on the planet, so he shouldn’t keep doing that shit, right?” I inquired, earning a loud sigh from the player who seemed more than exhausted by that question.
Putting both his hands in front of him, he started gesturing, “Hope’s what keeps him going right now, alright?” he un-paused the movie, and only seconds after, a little white robot appeared on screen, “And love! Look, he saw her, and he likes her, so he was right to be hopeful all that time,” I rolled my eyes and slumped deeper in the couch, my arms crossed as I mumbled, “It doesn’t make sense to make robots fall in love though,”
Atsumu made sure to sigh louder, more dramatically as we both turned silent once more. As the movie continued, he was the first one to speak again, “Tag yourself, you’re the violent rampaging robot and I’m just a little fella,”
“I’m not violent, you’re the one who punched a dude Atsumu, not me. You should remember that,” I told him, earning an ungraceful huff as he tried to find the proper words to express himself. I faced him with raised brows, waiting, then something hit me. I grabbed his right hand to take a look at this fist but let go the moment I held it, feeling like I shouldn’t be this familiar with him. He looked at me confused, I was fast to say, “I just realized we never checked your fist, and since the dude seemed to-“
I paused, feeling the intensity of Atsumu’s gaze on mine. For some reason, it wasn’t as light-hearted as seconds ago, which led me to believe I had done something I shouldn’t have. “But you’re a tough guy, and an adult, so you can take care of that yourself, right-“ I cleared my throat and continued watching the movie.
This time I was sure there was some tension between us. If I were to leave right now it would look weird, and I was the one who had made it all strange, which left me with the only option left: staying in an awkward silence, my heart beating faster in embarrassment. If it had been Bokuto, I would have led that idiot to the kitchen and took care of his bruising knuckles then got it over with; But here, I wasn’t nearly as friendly with Atsumu as I was with Bokuto, and yet it felt sort of comforting to be around him.
Perhaps because I knew he had proven himself to be reliable when I felt bad, or maybe I thought: he’s already seen me cry my eyes out, what’s left to see? Whichever it was, now it wasn’t as comfortable as before, my hands felt hot and cold at the same time. I brought the blanket closer around my form and paid attention to the story but was still tempted to look at the man on my right. Was he mad that I had stepped over his boundaries? Or annoyed to have invited me at his place out of pity, or perhaps even-
My train of thought was interrupted when I saw a hand enter my field of vision. I leaned back a bit to get away from it, then heard Atsumu say, “It’s gonna bruise, but it ain’t bleeding or anything,”
I hummed, reassured, breathing a weak “Ok, good,”
“I think it’ll heal faster if you kissed it better, though,” He said playfully. A relieved laugh escaped my mouth as I faced the man, there was a mischievous smile adorning his features. My eyes never left his. His left mine a few times to glance down and look around nervously. “I’m not doing that, it’s not going to change shit about the bruises,” Placing my hand on his extended one, I pushed it down and out of my sight. “Alright, then I’ll just,” He took the opportunity to thread his fingers with mine like before then proceeded to shut his mouth and look straight ahead.
I wanted to make a joke, telling him that Wall-E was not a horror movie and that if he felt the need to hold hands maybe he should watch a kid show. But I was too thrown off to do anything. I did not move, but after a few minutes, I felt like I had to speak. I wanted to ask him what he was doing… But deep down I craved the slightest touch and wanted to keep this going as long as he’ll allow it.
I squeezed his hand a moment, then put my elbow on the armrest and rested my head against my fist. We stayed like this, in silence, only chuckling here and there at what was happening on the screen, our hands still clasped on one another.
Around the end of the movie, I realized Atsumu’s grip wasn’t as tight as before, and he was reacting a lot less. Lazily turning my head to take a look at the blonde, I held back a laugh when I saw his head was resting on the back of the couch and his mouth was slightly open, the slightest snore escaping his mouth as he breathed in and out. “Of course, you’d fall asleep,” I whispered, letting go of his hand and grabbing a pillow that had fallen on the ground at some point to put it behind his head.
Nudging his shoulder, I tried to wake him up, but he only closed his mouth and made a throaty sound as he moved to get in a better position. His head started falling towards the side opposite of mine, I had to quickly grab his shoulders so that he wouldn’t fall entirely. I forced myself to focus and not enjoy the feeling of his muscles under my fingers as I pulled him towards my side more. The resistance of his weight soon changed when he simply laid down on the couch, I had to put the pillow rapidly on my lap and let out a ‘oof’ when his full weight was on my legs.
“I’ll throw you off the couch if you don’t wake up,” I whispered to the sleeping man on my thighs. Of course, I did not receive any answer, he was passed out after a whole day of practice and a party he probably did not feel like going to. I mean… even tired he is kind of cute… I thought, taking a good look at his features. I never took the time to observe the man, but he was the perfect definition. If not for the fit body, even if his hair was dyed it looked good, and while I’d never admit it out loud, his smile almost made me want to kiss him.
What?
I rapidly looked away from his sleeping form and pulled out my phone, focusing on something other than the pretty boy on my lap. Seeing as he clearly did not respect my personal space, I was not about to respect his. I rested my hands on his chest as I started scrolling on my phone, waiting for time to go by. I did not want to fall asleep and miss Bokuto’s call, even if I was slowly falling asleep with the warmth Atsumu brought, I had to stay up.
The movie had ended a good while back and started playing something I wasn’t paying attention to. The sound was so loud I was surprised it didn’t wake up the sleeping idiot, “You could get robbed you wouldn’t even wake up,” I remarked out loud, not expecting an answer but making myself chuckle, “Actually I could rob you and leave, but your stupid ass is too heavy for me to move,” I mumbled, sliding my hands under his back to try to lift him but quickly gave up.
“You’re lucky I don’t hate you or I’d be trying to wake your sorry ass, although it’s still very tempting right now,” I muttered the last part, glancing at how much space he was taking. My attention was brought to the man once again when I heard something coming from him, but he seemed fast asleep. Shaking my head, I returned to my phone, but stopped once again when I heard him mumble in his sleep. “You’re telling me even sleep doesn’t make you shut up? How am I even supposed to-“ I cut myself off when he mumbled something again, I brought my ear closer to his mouth, trying to decipher what he was saying.
My eyes widened when I heard what he said, “All bark, no bite” Before I had time to react, his hands were on my cheeks as he pulled my face closer to his, pressing his lips against mine. The angle didn’t make it comfortable, but I felt my heart speed up and my cheeks flare at the suddenness of his actions. I dropped my phone and was gripping his shirt with little force, more in the hopes to calm my surprise than to hold him down.
I found myself returning his kiss after a short delay of shock, the beer taste was strong, but I couldn’t care less. His kiss was sleepy and lazy, different than my clumsy one, and yet I was enjoying a lot more than I was willing to admit. Slowly coming to my sense, I pulled away when he tried to deepen the kiss. My lips were still hovering over his, but I didn’t look at him. “What was that for?” I breathed against his lips, wanting an explanation.
“You use a lot of words to say you don’t want me, but you haven’t kicked me off you yet,” He grinned proudly, a hand tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I gripped it tight to stop him, but did not pull back yet, “You said you didn’t hate me, or you’d have pushed me off this couch, but I’m still here, a lot of words for nothing,” He trailed off, grazing his lips against mine, “All bark,” his teeth were now tugging at my bottom lip, “No bite,” He murmured before letting go and pecking my lips once more.
I pulled away with a huff, opening my mouth and closing it a few times, trying to find the words. All the words that came in my head were: little shit, sly bastard and arrogant prick, none of which were enough of a comeback to be said out loud. I looked off to the side, not saying anything yet, feeling the weight of his body leaving my lap as he sat up. My eyes followed each of his movement as he stretched, moaning how good it feels to take a short nap. “You didn’t sleep, how good of a nap can it be?” I asked rhetorically, aiming to avoid the topic of what had just happened.
After saying so, I tried to think of all that I had said when I thought he was asleep. From what I could remember, nothing incriminating had been said, it was a relief.
“I got to have my head on a pretty girl’s lap, I’d call this a win-“ “If you don’t go back to sleep, I’ll put you to sleep myself,” I spat, crossing my arms over my chest, not trusting myself to look at him just yet. The embarrassment from moments ago was still very present, even though Atsumu was completely unaware of it. “I thought we’d both agreed that you wouldn’t do that, that you were all talk,” He grinned then proceeded to uncross my arms and pull me towards him, I pulled back but faced him with raised brows, wordlessly asking him what he was doing. “Don’t know, waiting for you to do something about it,” He shrugged.
Sighing, I placed both of my hands on the couch to balance myself as I stood up, “There is nothing to do about anything, I’m going to wait in the kitchen,” I scoffed.
The twin laughed as he pulled me back to the couch, this time closer to him. I held his wrist tight to keep myself balanced and glared at him. “We just kissed, you can’t just leave, come on,” He tugged me closer, I had to hold onto his knees as I was now kneeling between his legs while he was stretching his legs on the couch. “Actually, I can. And I was about to do so,” I gave him a curt nod, trying to hide my blushing cheeks.
He did not take no for an answer and poked my side to get my attention, “I’ll let ya go if you answer two of my questions, alright?” He asked excitedly, his hands resting on my waist. It took all my will not to look down at his big hands on my body and push them anywhere but at this very spot.
Clearing my throat, I told him to go off. “Tell me you don’t find me attractive,” He said in all seriousness. Taken aback, I faced him quickly, “I’m sorry?” was what I asked.
“You heard me, tell me you don’t find me attractive,” He reiterated.
“That’s stupid, I literally told you earlier that you were cute, what’s your angle here?” The man seemed to be thinking, then made a sound at the realization that I had indeed said so earlier. He chuckled, his cheeks turning slightly redder than usual. “Right, I forgot that. I also find you cute,” “I didn’t ask, nor do I care,” I shrugged.
“Yeah? Then why are you all flustered and stuff? No, you know what? This is a lot funnier than making you angry! This is fun-“ “Just ask your second question so that I can go,” I cut him off, I felt my heart beat faster at his admittance but played it off. I didn’t care, right?
“Tell me you don’t like me, and I’ll stop flirting,” He said. Without thinking, I snorted in surprise, “That’s not a question, maybe you should check the definition in the dictionary-“ Clearly he did not want to waste time with my avoidance and pressed, his hands bringing me closer to him. I whispered, “Careful,” but didn’t think he heard me. “Just say you don’t like me, so that we’re clear and I’ll stop, it’s simple, you like simple right?” He smirked; The smug attitude was back tenfold.
“Do you have memory losses or something? I don’t hate you, I thought we had made that clear since we started over-“ “I don’t have time for those games, so,” He trailed off, this time he put more force into it as he pull me onto his lap and let his hands travel to the back of my thighs. I hated the ease at which at let him do as he pleased already, I wanted to, but I also didn’t want to see the satisfaction on his face when I’d give in. Bringing my hands on his, I held them on the spot. I don’t know why I was doing it when I so desperately craved for them to slide under my shirt.
His eyes traveled from my face to my stomach, then to my hands, smiling playfully when he saw how tightly I was gripping his. “Where’s the fun if you keep them in place, let go of my hands,” He said in a breathy tone. If I wasn’t already sitting, my knees would have been weak. While I did let go, I rolled my eyes and placed both my hands on his stomach. “I don’t need to hold them down, you’re also all bark no bite- actually, the reason you’re in such a good shape is because you keep running your mouth like that, for nothing,” I taunted, earning a smile at the corner of his lips as his hands slid under my shirt, his fingers brushing my skin very slowly.
I gasped silently, not expecting him to do that. The roughness of his skin against mine reminded me for that mere moment, when I had forgotten, that he was a pro player, which came with great strength in his arms… And hands for his serves. I shook the thought away. “Yeah? If you don’t like it, tell me to stop, tell me you don’t like me,” He taunted back, his hands crawling higher and higher on my stomach, grazing my sides ever so delicately.
The smile on his lips. The attitude that dripped off his arrogant person, his tongue brushing on his lips, the heat of his body between my legs. His thighs against mine… All of this made me more and more frustrated, I didn’t want to talk anymore, I didn’t hate him, it was true. But did I want to tell him I wanted him? “You’re very silent,” He was trying to provoke me, but I didn’t trust myself to speak. My fists tightened on his shirt, making it rise up on his stomach. A glimpse of his skin was shown but if I let my eyes linger there more than necessary, I’d succumb.
With his carefree tone, he said, “I’ll take it off if that’s what you want. I mean, you did find me cute since the day we met, you’re probably curious of what-“ Maybe I was more frustrated than I thought I was. Hearing his cockiness made me snap. Leaning over, I shut him up by pressing my lips against his quickly, followed by, “You keep talking and talking, it turns me on-“ His eyes widened, I was confused for a second and quickly corrected myself, “Ticks me off, it ticks me off, you’re annoying-“ “So that’s what ticks you off? Heard ya loud and clear,” He said enthusiastically.
Before I could say anything, he had taken his shirt off and was about to help me take mine off before I stopped him and gave him a warning look. When he was about to ask what was wrong, I held the hem of my shirt and threw him a side glance, “I’ll do it myself, I don’t trust your skills at anything,” I scoffed, throwing my shirt on the back of the couch and unzipping my pants. I stopped dead in my tracks when Atsumu’s eyes widened and felt like digging a hole to never come out of.
Getting off of him, I rushed my words, “Fuck, I read into this- forget whatever happened these past, whatever how long we’ve been at it, let’s just-“ “Oh we’re doing this, I was going for a heavy make-out but you clearly have something great in mind,” He chuckled, standing to take his shorts off. I couldn’t look him in the eyes, even though he said it was great idea. I felt like an idiot, “Flustered is a great look on you, but I think you’d look hotter without those pants,” I heard him say, very close to me.
Looking up to meet his gaze, I couldn’t help the smile that accompanied my scoff, the softness was quickly replaced by more ‘flattering’ words, “I mean, it does make your ass look good, but…” His hands trailed down to my zipper, tentatively pulling my pants down to grab my ass and bring me closer. I said his name in a warning tone, not stopping him, but holding his forearm to slow his adventurous hands from going further. “If you really wanna cover your ass, use my hands is what I’m saying,”
I snorted and pushed him down on the couch, still chuckling, falling down with him as he did not let go of my ass once. “Fuck you, that’s the worst dirty talking I’ve ever heard,” I told him playfully, letting my hands rest on his stomach as I set myself on his thighs at first. Atsumu was quick to pull me closer, right onto his growing bulge, “I’d say fuck me like you hate me, but I’m too sensitive for that,” He whispered half-jokingly, “And we’ve agreed there was no hate, so…” He brought my lips into a kiss that I returned with as much enthusiasm, this time letting him deepen it until we had to pull away to breathe.
“Right now, I want to make you lose your composure as you moan my name desperately,” He did not stutter, he did not play it off as a joke, no. He was assured, determined, and did not waste time. After letting those words hit me like a brick, he started attacking my neck, hands threading through my hair and pulling me to the side to get a better access. I held onto his shoulders at first but decided to no let him get anything out of me just yet.
“I think I can do that first,” I breathed as I pushed his mouth away from my neck and graze mine against it, my hands sliding lower on his body.
With the same cockiness he adorned daily, he brought me into a quick kiss and said with too much confidence, “All bark, no bite, let me do what I do best and get you riled up, while you enjoy it,” I laughed at that and pushed his head back, my hand under his chin as I kissed him down from his chin to his throat, to his chest to finally stop at his happy trail where I looked up at him with a smirk. “Careful what you wish for, and I hope for your sake that I don’t bite,” I threatened as I pulled down his boxers and grabbed his cock, giving it a few strokes.
I was surprised by how good Atsumu sounded with his throat tight, holding back his moans from the sudden touches I was giving him. His mouth was open, but he wasn’t letting everything out just yet. “Damn, don’t shut the fuck up, you’re so sexy…” I said mockingly, making him cover his mouth as I took his cock in my mouth and started sucking him off. Each time my tongue would brush his sensitive tip, a higher moan would escape his lips. His back was arched as he tried to meet my mouth to go deeper, but I held him down, my nails digging in his hips.
“Just like that baby- fuck fuck fuck,” He whined, a higher pitch in his tone. His hand threaded in my hair once more, I felt him push my head more on his cock and didn’t like his rapid take of control, I pulled his hand off my head and grazed my teeth on his length as I slid his cock out of my mouth and stopped everything. Saliva was dripping down my mouth and onto his tip as I looked at his frustrated frown, “Why did you stop?”
Brushing my thumb lazily on the base of his cock, I smirked, “Mmh? I thought you’d like teasing? I’m guessing it’s a lot less fun when you’re on the receiving end, but I’m enjoying this a lot-“ “Oh, oh, that’s- you…” His look darkened as a toothy grin made its way on his lips. He sat up and pulled me over his hips once again, I instinctively started grinding against his dick to get some friction, holding back noises of pleasure from the little I could get from it.
Atsumu’s fingers trailed to my chin, his thumb brushing over my lips, “Open your mouth,” He breathed softly. It caught me off guard, the tenderness in his voice, I did as he asked with a bit of hesitancy. “Good girl,” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear before shoving some fabric in my mouth, from the colour I guessed it was his shirt. When I tried to take it out to complain, he pushed me down, pinning my hands over my head, his hips straddling me, “If you can’t even put your mouth to good use, you lose the privilege of using it entirely, simple right?”
“It’s my turn then,” He smiled as he removed my remaining clothes and left me bare under his form. He started by playing with my nipples, his mouth on one, while his hand took care of the other. When I tried to push him away to take back the control, he placed both my hands on his back and said, “Since you bite like a bitch, use your claws like one too, don’t feel shy-“ I did exactly that, elating a deep groan from the man who smiled giddily at my action. I tried to match it with a smirk but couldn’t do much with the item of clothing in my mouth.
He started kissing down my chest, my stomach, to finally let his tongue trail down between my legs. Once he was there, he paused and licked my clit then blew on it, then did it again. Licking, blowing, making me feel the cold sensation and along too little friction. He would sometimes get me going longer by sucking it, elating deep groans from me, I could feel my body heat up more and more, getting higher and higher on the feeling of pleasure he gave me. He kept my legs spread, stopping me from closing them on his head, his nails digging inside my skin. I kicked my heel in his back, getting his attention. “What, you don’t like my teasing?” I shook my head. “That’s not what those moans are saying baby, I’ll keep it up some more-“
We were both startled when we heard Atsumu’s phone ring, he told me to stay there and picked up the phone. When he put it on speaker, I understood it was also my business. “Tsum-Tsum? Your place ‘t’s the number… sixteen right? I- the key it’s not working Tsum-Tsum, can you let me in…” My heart jumped in my chest when I heard it was Bokuto and he was alive and well, there seemed to be some groaning in the back. Kuroo then took the phone, “They’re this close to passing out, your place was the closest, so we walked- didn’t sober them much, just open the door Miya,” He explained. On the phone we heard some knocking but not on Atsumu’s door.
“It’s not number 16 though, it’s 36, it’s two floors up dude,” I was surprised by how composed he was on the phone when only seconds ago he had his face between my legs- Fuck, they shouldn’t see what was about to happen. “For fuck’s sake, you’re making me carry them two more floors? At least come and help out,” Kuroo said over the phone, Shoyou’s voice in the background was weaker than Bokuto’s but just as sluggish. “You put yourself in this situation, I’m being nice enough to let you stay at my place. So, take your time but I’m not coming to help,” Atsumu said before hanging up.
When I was sure he had hung up, I gathered all my clothes and rushed to put them on. “Don’t tell them anything, if they ask why-“ “I’ll simply skip over the part where we gave head to one another, don’t worry,” He finished my sentence. I paused in my dressing and threw him a glare, “Don’t say it so casually-“ when I was about to put on my shirt, it was damp under my fingers. Taking a good look, I noticed there was a spilled bottle of beer on the ground. “Shit, shit, why did you throw it there, I had put it on the couch!” I exclaimed.
“I considered using your shirt as a gag, be grateful I used mine, look,” He pointed at his shirt. There were darker spots on the black shirt, but he still wore it. “Then get changed, and give me a shirt too,” He quirked a brow as if something was missing from my request.
Rolling my eyes, I softened my tone, “Please,”
Standing up, he finally finished dressing up and asked me to clean the beer from the ground. I hurried to the kitchen to get everything and wiped the puddle just in time for Atsumu to get back in the living room and hand it to me. I put it on in a hurry, struggling to find the hole for my head only to have him help me off-handedly. “How about you calm down? They’re our friends, I don’t think they’d say anything. Weren’t they the one asking us to get along? I think we got along just fine,” He said smugly, his hand tugging at his shirt on my form.
“Also, it was entertaining to see you trying to take the reins,” He whispered right next to my ear before nipping it, then pecking my lips. I didn’t let him go so soon and pulled him back for a deeper kiss, earning a surprised grunt from him before his hands found my ass once again. “I think we should let them in the corridor and finish what we started,” He said against my lips. And while the idea was tempting, I couldn’t do that.
I pulled away from him at the same time the jingle of keys was heard outside, followed by the unlocking of the door. “Alright, now you can come help me Miya?” I heard Kuroo. Atsumu scurried off, I made sure to free the space on the couch for the two drunk he was bringing in. I was surprised to see Bokuto walking on his own. Maybe walking was a strong word, swaying was more adequate.
His face lit up when he saw me and pulled me into a hug while Kuroo and Atsumu carried Hinata to the couch. “You’re here too!! I missed you, did you have fun tonight? Are you hungry? I’m hungry, we should eat, I’m so thirsty too-“ With his arm around my shoulders, he led me to the kitchen and started rummaging around. I sat at the table, chuckling at his drunken yet pretty woke state until he turned around slowly and pointed at me, half crouching as he walked towards me.
“You… here? Why’re you here?” Just when he asked that, Kuroo and Atsumu joined us. Unfortunately, Atsumu spoke faster than I did. “You made the girl worried Bok, we were going to pull an all-nighter waiting for you,” He explained, standing behind me, his hands on my shoulders. I pushed them off, telling him to get away from me.
“Aww, I thought you were finally going to stop hating each other,” Bokuto whined, pulling Kuroo closer to him as he leaned his head against his shoulder. I laughed at his reaction, “I don’t hate him,” I kind of like him, was my second thought but I kept it for myself. Bokuto mumbled some more, I couldn’t quite comprehend what was being said but what I did know was that Kuroo’s eyes weren’t leaving me. He was observing.
Calling my name in a questioning manner, the black-haired man asked, “What’s that on your neck?” I placed my hands on my neck to cover whatever it was, pulling my phone to use the camera as mirror, I felt my cheeks heat up when I noticed the hickeys left by Atsumu. I started stuttering, trying to find an excuse, which was all in vain when Atsumu all but spawned behind me once more, his hands on my shoulders. He let them fall to my front, slumping over me lazily as he sighed dramatically.
“Ah, guess the cat’s out of the bag,” He shrugged, looking at the two men in front of us. That’s all I could say from the little I could see, I think he may have mouthed something but wasn’t sure, then he pressed a kiss on one of the hickeys. This part was unnecessary, so I pushed his face away in panic. “Hey, hey! there was no hiding it, they were suspicious,” He told me apologetically. That tone quickly disappeared when he faced the two men once more, “We were having fun before you called, but there isn’t any hate here. Just some feistiness, but it’s all in good fun, right? We ain’t gonna fight like animals or anything,”
The two men nodded, a confused expression still on their face. Bokuto was falling asleep standing up, but Kuroo was still fully awake. “So, it’s like, all bark, no bite?” I nodded, at the same time Atsumu laughed as he grazed his lips to the shell of my ear, whispering without moving his lips much, “A bit of bite doesn’t hurt though,” I quickly stood up after that. No wanting to listen to any more of his teasing or innuendos. Pointing at Atsumu, I said, “I can’t deal with any more of this guy, I’ll go to sleep,”
The blond called out my name, “Come on it was good, don’t rush off like that,”
“I think you could use a muzzle, Atsumu Miya, that’ll keep your mouth shut,” I rolled my eyes, but it felt like a déjà vu. I had told him to shut his mouth way too many times already and had set myself up for what came next.
When I entered his bedroom, he closed the door behind us, “Then do something about it, kiss me, do it,”
And I did, if it brought me the quiet, I desperately needed and the warmth of his hands on my hips, then I’d do it over and over again. Now bathing in the darkness of the room, I felt safe telling him, “I don’t really want you to shut up, I like it when you talk, even if you talk a lot… But I still think your mouth could be put to better use…” Lifting me off the ground, the blond grunted, “You’ve read my mind,”
That led to a continuation of what we had earlier started.
I don’t believe our friends would remember much of what happened tonight, but I sure would. I never thought I would want a cocky, arrogant, impudent, little shit, to fuck me and yet, here I was.
My mind desired something that I’d been a fool to refuse, so I let myself succumb.
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otomefoxystar · 3 years ago
Text
Denial
Fandom: Mystic Messenger
Pairing: Saeyoung X MC
Warnings: talk about money and mental health
Genre: Comfort
For @space-kitten-606 Sorry it took so long to write this !😔 Life has been super busy, but I’m back at it now ❤️
She was trying to make it she really was, but her employer increased the cost of her insurance, and to cover her antidepressants and anxiety medications she had to pay out of pocket. Not to mention the doctor and physiatrist appointments. That with rent and regular household bills, it was impossible to keep up. She was broke.
After getting dressed she twisted her hair up into a tight knot on her head as she went to the pantry knowing the only thing she had other than boxed and canned food was ramen.
“ Breakfast of champions.”
As she sat down to eat there was a knock at the door. Saeyoung was standing on the other side of the door with a big smile on his face.
“ Hiii” She was surprised to see him, he hadn’t even called. It was completely out of the blue.
“ Hi! I wasn’t expecting you to come over.” He kissed her cheek.
“ You are always at work! I haven’t seen you in like foreeeevvvveeerrrr. I was starting to think you don’t love me anymore.” She rolled her eyes.
“ You are so dramatic.” He gave her a toothy grin.
“ I miss you _ _ _ I've been lonely without you.”
“ I miss you too, I’ve been busy is all.”
She was standing in the doorframe and he chuckled.
“ Are you gonna let me come in or are we going talk out here the whole time?”
“Oh! Yeah, come in.”
After he shut the door, he saw the steaming bowl of ramen on the table, and his eyebrows drew together.
“ _ _ _?” It wasn’t his usual cheerful tone, it was one of concern.
“ Yeah?” He crossed his arms and looked at her with a serious look on his face.
“ Are you eating ramen… For. Breakfast?!” Her cheeks turned a crimson color. She had been caught.
“ And you dare to lecture me about eating honey buddha chips and Dr. Pepper. Do you have any idea how much sodium is in ramen?” She looked down at the floor.
“ I know”
“ I’ll make you something.” He stated, and her eyes shot up.
“ Uhh, I don’t have much food.” He waved his hands, telling her not to worry.
“ I'm sure there’s something I can make you.” He said as he made his way to the fridge.
He opened the fridge to see it practically barren with only a half-gallon of milk and a container of leftover food, that appeared to be spaghettos. He raised his eyebrows then went to the pantry and there were a couple of boxed and canned meals, a loaf of bread that was almost gone, peanut butter and honey. What happened to his girlfriend who was always so diligent about eating healthy?
“ Why don’t you have any food?”
“ I’ve just been so busy, I haven’t had time to go to the store.” He gave her a hard look. Saeyoung didn’t often look at her like this and she knew she was in trouble. He walked over to her.
“ You’re here now, you could’ve gone shopping right?” She was trying to come up with any excuse she could think of. She didn’t want him to know how broke she was, he had money. Even with quitting the agency he probably never had to work again.
“ I uhh was gonna go, I just wanted to eat first.”
“ Okay, let’s go out to eat then I’ll take you to the store.”
She shook her head
“ No, it’s okay. I’ll go later.”
“ You are not eating ramen for breakfast.” He noticed she was having a breakout on her forehead, and her face looked a little sunken in with dark circles under her eyes. She looked awful.
“ No, c’mon let’s go.” She shook her head and stood her ground when he started dragging her to the door.
“ I can’t!” He turned and looked at her when her face twisted into an expression like she was getting ready to cry.
“ What’s going on _ _ _? What are you not telling me?”
She sat down on the kitchen chair and covered her face with her hands. Saeyoung sat down next to her, facing her completely flabbergasted. He brought her hands away from her face.
“ You can tell me. We need to be open and honest with each other.”
She looked up with tears brimming in her eyes.
“ It’s just-“ She sighed “ I can’t afford to go shopping. I’m broke…. Really, really broke.”
“ I can help y’know, you just have to ask.”
“ No, it’s not your problem.” That stung, he wanted to share everything with her even the bad things. He tightened his grip on her hands. At that moment she knew he wasn’t going to give up, she had to just tell him the truth.
“ It’s not like I went on a shopping spree and spent too much money. I don’t get to do that, I don’t even remember the last time I bought something for myself. It’s my job the cost of the medical insurance went up. I just can’t afford it. I’d have no money left over and to pay for the medication I need I have to pay for it myself. I have to pay for doctor’s visits I have to pay for everything and I just can’t keep up. I’m always late on my bills, I have to use credit cards and bounce checks. It’s been … Hard.” Tears finally spilled out of her eyes.
His heart dropped at hearing this. She was suffering this whole time and he never even knew.
“ How long did you think you could keep this from me?” He didn't say it angrily, it was more of a disappointed statement. He tilted his head and sighed.
“ Is this why you’ve been working so much overtime?”
“ I have to take my meds, I can’t go without them.” He brought her hand up and kissed the top of her hand.
“ This is probably not helping your depression and anxiety though kitten. You don’t look good. You are going to make yourself sick if you work yourself to death and eat like shit.”
“ The pot called the kettle black.” She said wiping her tears away. Saeyoung let out a little chuckle.
“ Seems like it. Seriously though you don’t have to keep things from me. Even if it is YOUR problem. I want it to be my problem too.” He paused, seemingly contemplating something when his eyes widened as if a light bulb had gone off.
“Move in with me, you wouldn’t have to pay rent, my house is paid off, there’s food. You wouldn’t have to worry anymore.” He gave her a toothy grin.
“ I don’t know Saeyoung. What about Saeran?”
“ He’ll be fiiiinnnee” He waved her off “Besides, I think he likes having you around.” She bit her lip.
“ I don't want to put you guys out. I should just get a second job. I can’t depend on you like that.”
“ No no no, you aren’t getting a second job, that’s crazy! You are already overworked enough. You are just so stubborn, it’s drives me crazy sometimes! I am offering you help and a way for you to make it because right now sweet pea you are just barely getting by. It’s not healthy to be more worried about paying bills than eating. Plus, I’ll have a human teddy bear to cuddle every night.” He leaned forward and gave her a big hug.
“ I’m not your teddy bear!” She shoved him, and he put his bottom lip out, pouting.
“ Aww c’mon. Please kitten” He tucked her hair behind her ear “ I love you and I am worried about you. Let me help you. If you keep going like this your mental health will just get worse.” She knew that of course, she knew that.
“ What’s stopping you? Why won’t you live with me?” She didn’t know, maybe she was afraid?
He smiled at her and cupped her cheek. Giving her that tender look that she so adores.
“ It kills me that the only way I can make is to get help from other people. I wanted to make it on my own, to prove to myself that I am worth something.”
“ You are worth something! It’s okay to need help. Most people do at some point in their lives. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here and we can figure it out together because that’s what partners do. I’m not telling you to quit your job. I’m not saying that I’ll pay your bills. I just want you to move in with me.
“ You just feel bad for me.” He flicked her forehead and she glared at him as she rubbed her head.
“ That’s not it! I mean yes I do feel bad, but I want you to move in because I love you and want you around. It would’ve happened eventually, why not now?”
She looked at him hard and long as if the answer was on his face. Finally, the tension from her shoulders left and she squeezed his hand. She pressed her lips together as she looked at his pleading expression.
“ I’m not letting you say no.” She inhaled deeply through her nose.
“ Okay” He tilted his head to the side.
“ Okay? Okay, what? That I won’t let you say no? Or that you’ll move in with me?”
She sighed.
“ I’m sorry! You aren’t explaining!”
“ I know I’m just nervous.” She steeled herself and sat up straight, looking right into his eyes.
“ I’ll do it, I’ll move in with you Saeyoung.” A big grin spread across his face.
“ Yeah?” She nodded her head.
“ Yeah, just as long as you promise it’s not out of pity.” He shook his head vigorously.
“ Nope! it’ll just work better for both of us. I’ll get to see you more, and you’ll be able to pay your bills. It’s a win-win.” He was beaming.
“ I think I’m getting more out of this than you are, but if you’re happy then I’m happy too.” She said with a smile.
“ Finally a smile. I don’t like it when you're sad.” He stood up and held out his hand for her to take. She looked up at him, but then took his warm hand and he pulled her up. He kissed her lips softly then hugged her tight trying to convey his feelings.
“ Now that it’s decided, I am taking you out for breakfast. You aren’t eating that crap.” She smiled and slipped her shoes on letting him pull her out the door. He stopped just as they were about to get into his car. He looked into her bright eyes and stroked her cheek.
“ I really do love you _ _ _. I hope you never forget that. I will do everything in my power and beyond to take care of you like you deserve.” She placed her hand over his.
“ How about we take care of each other?” He gave her a tender smile.
“ I like the sound of that. No one’s taken care of me before.” She hugged him tight and gave him a light peck on the side of his neck.
“ There’s a first for everything!” She smiled and ran her fingers through his soft hair.
“Thank you Saeyoung. For being in my life, for loving me, for letting me love you.”
He pulled her close to press a fierce kiss to her lips, holding the back of her head as he deepened the kiss. When finally they parted he opened the door of the car for her ready to take on this new adventure in their lives.
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serenityseventeen · 3 years ago
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Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before
The Fourth Letter
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To: Wen Junhui
From: Y/N
Jun, how are you doing lately?
I'm always wondering that now that you're gone. I want to text you or call you but it'll be awkward since before you left, we decided to break up. I want to call and hear your voice, laugh at your jokes, I miss it all.
I'm sure it's better for the both of us that we cut off contact, but how can I forget you, my first boyfriend that I'm still in love with? I think you're the first person I've ever loved so deeply like this. I know that I'm in love with you.
During the little over half a year that we dated, I learned so many things about love. It was phenomenal, beautiful, and such a good feeling.
I'm always wondering, if we weren't teens in high school, if we were adults, would our relationship be different? Would we have ended differently? Because if we were adults, maybe you wouldn't have to leave back to China. Even now, I'm wondering, in the future, can we cross paths again? Give our love another chance?
But I know that by that time, we would be completely different people and maybe not even attracted to each other anymore. Who knows, you may find someone in China that you love better than me.
If you didn't have to go, maybe we could have had a longer relationship. Why must we have to be apart when we're so in love? You're my first boyfriend ever and I can't be more grateful to you. You were the best first boyfriend I could ever ask for.
This letter to you, it's not a confession, only a little bit. I just want to write this letter to remember you, my first boyfriend, and thank you now that it would be too awkward to do it over text or call.
You're my first boyfriend and when you came into my life, it felt like someone above heard my prayers. At that time when you slipped into my life, I'll confess that I was trying to fall out of love with someone else. Thanks to you, I was able to do that.
Should we both thank Mr. Koo for pairing us up for the 2-month project? I mean, thanks to him, I was able to fall in love with someone like you.
I remember how awkward it was for both of us introverts to speak with each other. You introduced yourself and I introduced myself and then we didn't talk for like five minutes. I still remember how heavily my heart pounded while waiting for you to speak. To this day, I don't know why you giggled first, but it was attractive and cute. Maybe I'm just so madly in love with you that I find your everything to be perfect and cute.
When we began talking to each other, I was surprised at how unique you were. Trust me, Junhui, you're nothing like anyone I've met before. Out of the guys I've ever met, you're the weirdest! But that's a good thing, because of that charm, I fell even harder for you. It's your charm, Jun.
It was just your way of thinking that was unique. You were able to come up with the most unique jokes I've ever heard and your humor always cracked me up as well. I still remember that first day when we were working on the project, you drew a small sun with a smiley face at the corner of my paper. It was so cute.
Soon, I realized that most of the time during class, we were just busy joking with each other and wasting time. You shared stories about your little brother and always made me laugh somehow. Each time I laughed because of you, my heart fluttered. Each time you laughed because of me, I would feel a rush of excitement and my heart would be pounding so fast.
When you started coming over to my house to work in hopes of getting more progress, that's when our relationship progressed. It was weird to have you around at my house because we just talked so much instead of getting work done. Sometimes, the responsibility would hit me and I would remind us to get to work, in which you would chuckle and reply, “Oh right, what are we doing, fooling around?”
Every time you said something along those lines, it made me smile because you were just so cute. I was slowly drowning myself into your charms. This unique personality of yours was drawing me in.
Aside from your dorkiness, when you get to work, you work hard. Sometimes I was distracted by how you looked when you were focused.
Thank you for asking me out that day at the bus stop. I was sending you home. I know I told you it was because I felt bad for leaving you alone and it really was because I felt bad, but it was also because I wanted to be around you longer.
When we reached the empty bus stop and you waited for the bus, you told me after some hesitation, abruptly, while chuckling softly, “I like you, Y/N. Should we date?”
At that time, my heart and mind were racing, that's why I replied stupidly to your confession and said “Isn't it too fast...?”
Gosh, I was so dumb! It wasn't fast at all and the pace was actually good. We took two weeks getting to know each other, it was about time that you asked me out, right? I mean, I liked you back then too, so I hope you don't think those dates we went on captured my heart because that's not the case at all! I've liked you before your confession.
However, thanks to my dumb reply, you took me on many dates. It was my first time going on dates like that with just one other person. A date like the ones in the movies.
The first date being at the carnival that was open in town. I had so much fun there! Plus, I still have that photo of us with the face paint in my photo gallery. I don't want to delete it because it holds so many memories. Maybe someday, I'll print our couple pictures and tape them on the back of this letter. Plus, the cat ears looked so cute on us.
For the first time, I felt like I was on a real date, and it was with you. I'm grateful that I was able to participate in so many different games with you. I still have the small duck you won for me. Those games are all a total scam but you still insisted and managed to win it for me. At that moment, I felt your sincerity at the bottom of my heart.
I also remember our date at the PC cafe. Gosh, you have the weirdest taste in games, you know that!? Usually, men like playing shooter games but you and I trained a cat to fly and had multiple races. The loser would then have to get a flick on the forehead, even though we both went easy on each other. That brought me a lot of joy too even though it was simple.
For our last date, before we started dating, I just want to confess, I lied about being able to stay out late. My dad didn't figure out I was with you though. I just really wanted to see the movie so I went to watch it with you. That was the location of our first kiss together.
After the movie, I was stretching my back outside the movie theatre. I don't know what you were looking at but if you were looking at me, I'm sorry I looked so ugly while stretching. It was almost 9 PM, two hours past the time I can stay out.
I can remember the scene clearly. I was just about to tie my hair while talking about the movie when you suddenly took my face with your cold hands and kissed me with your warm lips. Your hand on my warm neck was sending chills down my spine. I still didn't know how to kiss then and just going with the flow, I found myself enjoying kissing you a lot. My heart was racing and I remember how hard I clenched onto your khaki jacket. I'm giggling now thinking about it.
I did learn how to kiss better because of you though, Jun. After we started dating, sometimes when my dad left to get us some fruit, you would sneak some kisses onto my lips in the meanwhile instead of working. You're so playful too. Playful and sweet.
Sometimes, you don't know how much you mean to me, Jun. I mean, I'm still a bit upset that you didn't tell me you were moving back to China in the middle of summer break. However, I'm glad that you told me before you moved and just didn't disappear suddenly. Because you told me, I could love you with all of my teenage heart and give you all of me. I was able to convince my father to allow me to spend more hours with you, whether it was goofing around, working hard, or just kissing and hugging. Thank you for that, because I was able to prepare myself. I loved it whenever we were just sitting, our legs crisscrossed, and my arms around your neck with your hands clasped around my waist while we kissed sweetly.
I also love your hair, Jun. It was so soft and flowy that I could ruffle it all day. Your hand too, whenever they clasped with mine, I would always feel a sense of warmth.
When the move ticked closer, I was beginning to grow more nervous. I didn't want you to leave but I knew it wasn't your choice. Did you dread the day as well?
I wonder if we could have broken that long-distance relationship curse. We loved each other after all. I thought that I would be able to handle it as long as I could still hear your voice and text you. I thought long and hard about it, wondering if a breakup was necessary. But then, without even trying, I know that we will eventually drift apart. We're still teens and it's my first time having a boyfriend, how was I supposed to know what to do?
I remember the day before you left, you told me that you loved me and that you were sorry that all you could give me was memories. I'm still believing that every word you said was genuine.
You cared for me when I was sick. I remember how you rushed to check up on me after school when you heard that I was absent because I was sick. Most of the time I was sleeping but I can still remember how gently you caressed my hair and stroked my cheeks.
You showed me unconditional love, even when I was telling you that I wasn't proud of myself. You cheered me on with your bright personality.
I'm glad I said those words too. “I love you.”
Even though we may just seem like kids to others, I truly loved you, Junhui. The day when we broke up at the airport, I did not want you to see me cry. You always told me to cry if I wanted to but I didn't want you to see me cry.
When you said “Well, I guess that's it for us. Thank you, Y/N, for being mine for a while. I love you a lot and I'll always treasure the memories we made” as you left, waving and smiling painfully, I was going to cry, but I just smiled and waved after telling you that I loved you too and that this breakup was unfortunate.
When you stopped your suitcase and ran back to me one more time to hug me, I was about to burst into tears. You said your final goodbye and then went back to your suitcase. To be honest, I wanted to hold you longer. I didn't want you to leave, I wanted to hold you back so that you could stay with me.
After you left, I ran into my dad's car and cried.
I cried a lot and my dad didn't even do anything to stop me. He knew you were my first boyfriend and having to end my relationship with you so sadly made his heart ache too I bet. I'm glad my dad let me cry though. I think he understood what I was going through.
I miss you a lot, Jun. I still think about you a lot. Sometimes I look back on the place where we worked on our project and I can almost see the scenes of us sitting there, laughing, talking, hugging, cuddling, kissing. I was really sad after you left. I'm still getting over it. I'm still remembering when I wake up some days and realize that you're not here with me anymore and that you're in a different time zone, a different country, a different place.
A month has passed since you left. I have a month of summer left to spend to move on.
I hope you're having a good time, staying healthy, being happy where you belong. I will always remember you. I don't want to forget you, Junhui. You mean a lot to me.
I miss you, Jun. I'm thankful to you too.
I love you, Jun.
If only we fell in love at a different time, perhaps in the future when we are adults, capable of our emotions, capable of thinking, capable of our own lives, capable of loving. If you didn't have to move... If you didn't have to leave... I'm sure I'd still have you beside me. Yet, I can't even tell what the present holds, who am I to assume the future?
All I can do is reminisce now. I really miss you, Jun. I'll move on soon enough. Are you trying to move on too? Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
If only we were given more time.
Yours truly,
Y/N
-----------------
© serenityseventeen
6/20/21 - 1:03 am
a/n: I listened to ‘Silent Boarding Gate’ while making this one because that song is so beautiful and just makes me feel like I'm reminiscing about a past love that is now gone. I almost cry every time. It's such a beautiful song, guys...
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mikaze-discord · 3 years ago
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Love letter project ♡
Sooo to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Shining live, I put together a project! I basically got a bunch of people to write a love letter for their favourite boy. Things like, why they like them, how they got to like them and what they like about them were all accepted!
The event was supposed to have 2 fans for each boy but unfortunately I was unable to get two for some of the boys. 
Under the cut will be the love letters for all of Class A!!! Please enjoy~ And thank you for all the people who participated in the event and taking the time to write the love letters out. 
CLASS A
OTOYA ITTOKI
From @ponzu-penzui:
Hello world! My nickname is Yuki, and I’m here to tell you about the sunshine boy that is Otoya Ittoki. The redhead of the series, Otoya is your seemingly a-typical sunshine in a mascot boy character. But, as we all know with these types, the sunshine isn’t as, well, sunshine as they seem. Or, if you didn’t know, well… spoiler alert I guess. Go watch the anime, or play the otome games, then come back here. Anyways, let’s get started on our journey, shall we? Through the rabbithole that got me here in the first place!
Otoya immediately became my best boy the second I saw him. I’m not quite sure what immediately got me at first, whether it be his red hair and eyes, his voice, or his immediate friendliness, but here we are. I should also mention that UtaPri was my first idol anime, so I was completely unaware what was going to hit me later. And, if you’ve watched the entire anime, you know where I’m going.
Season 4 was an emotional wreck. I cried at least twice. Did I have a newfound appreciation for Otoya after all that heartache? Definitely. Without spoilers, it was incredibly painful for me to watch, but I don’t regret it.
After watching the anime, I soon found out about the existence of Shining Live. So, with no other UtaPri content to binge, I started to play SL in late 2018. After playing for a little more than a year, I tiered in my first Otoya event (Heartwarming Snow Festival), and achieved my first top 200. Ever since then, I’ve tiered in every Otoya event, getting top 200, then top 100.
But, why do I like Otoya Ittoki even to this day? Well, I guess this is the time where I say that, after a certain point, I started to see bits of myself in Otoya. This led me to start to RP him, and, as you probably know if you’ve ever roleplayed a character before, I started to look at the miniscule amount of translated game content (many thanks to the Ohayaho Translation Team) for, well, more content. And content I did receive. Long story short, this only served to solidify Otoya as my favorite boy of not only UtaPri, but from all anime/manga/game content I’ve ever seen/watched. His cheerfulness may have been the first thing that got me in this rabbithole, but his backstory and how he managed to grow up pulled me in even further. And, I don’t think I will or want to get out anytime soon.
Next one from; Anon
As much as we all know our Otoya for how sweet and kind he is, there is so much more to him than just a precious smile. He is uplifting, cheerful towards everyone he meets. He has empathy and goes out of his way to make sure his friends are happy. Even so, Otoya has feelings that aren’t always happiness and smiles. He can feel sad and angry just like anyone else.
The reason I care and love Otoya so much is because he has shown me that I don’t have to always put on a smile. It’s nice to show off your pearly whites, but sometimes, it’s okay to be sad too. There are times in everyone’s life when they feel out of place and that they don’t belong. Otoya also felt this way and that’s perfectly okay. He’s still being the best idol he can be: The idol that Otoya loves the most.
MASATO HIJIRIKAWA
From Anon: 
Masato Hijirikawa. Why do I like Masato Hijirikawa? I like him to the point that it feels weird for me to even question why I do. He's just- a good boy. A great boy. I love him. As a joke, I'd usually say that it was his weirdly pretty, bowl-cut hairstyle that drew me to him, or I'd say that he caught my interest when I read that he was "very good with his hands" (wink wonk) in his Shining Live description, and while both of these reasons are still true, it wasn't until I started role playing him in an old server that I really started to appreciate his character more.
Masato, despite his aloof and almost "perfect" initial image, is a very relatable character. When he first arrived at Saotome (in-game) he wasn't necessarily seen as someone with a lot of talent to become an idol, which he acknowledged with grace and worked hard to make up for. He's humble despite his privileged upbringing and is incredibly self-aware of his flaws, which are sources of insecurity for him sometimes (a lot of times). Though it should be said that most of this insecurity stems from not having a lot of control over his early life, which is why it felt so gratifying to see him break free of his metaphorical chains to pursue his happiness without any doubts. He's a hard worker and is willing to accept criticism with open arms, not only for himself but for the people around him. Despite his traditional upbringing and nature, he's very receptive to change as long as it benefits both him and STARISH. He values the people he cares about more than anything, which is why he constantly strives to be a better version of himself every day, not only for himself but for the people around him.
Though his stoicism sometimes makes him seem plain or even "boring" to some people, he hides a warm, hidden passion within that's just as bright as everyone else's. Like the springtime bloom of cherry blossoms after winter, Masato shows his passion and love with no restraint to anyone who takes the time to understand him, and I can very much attest to this. I love him a lot and I hope to see more content of him, STARISH, and the others for more years to come.
NATSUKI SHINOMIYA
From uh....me:
HELLO I’m Z~ also known as the mod of the mikaze-discord/utapri-hcs tumblrs, as well as the organiser for the event! But enough about myself, let's talk about Natsuki Shinomiya.
When I first watched the anime as a youngin, I had already known about the games and their plots but had decided to try out the anime as well since I had nothing better to do.
Natsuki was actually one of my least favourite characters in the anime just because of how they presented him. I just...didn't care for him at all. He was just some random tall guy who loved hugs and almost murder…. Yeah.
I’m sure like most, I had a changing point. Originally, I was a Tokiya rper but...I was just unhappy with how my Tokiya was, I wasn't as experienced in rping with that server being my first rp server i was ever in. I didn't feel like I matched up with the others. I felt my Tokiya was just lacking something, substance maybe. Another person actually had a similar feeling and had changed their character from Camus to Syo and since we already had an Ai, I had just decided to go with the flow and complete the rest of the cute team. Best decision of my life. I’m so grateful for Natsuki and everything I associate him with. Without him, I probably wouldn't have made my tumblrs, I wouldn't have stayed in that server, I wouldn't have gone looking for other servers to rp in. I don't think I would be the same without Natsuki. I just find him so endearing now, he is just a lovable giant who happens to be able to be a disney princess. He is just so darn cute damn it. , just look at his Christmas card, his King card, quite literally just half his Shining live URs. Also, just like his songs just slap. Natsuki to me, is just serotonin. He gave me so many opportunities that I could have missed. I don't even think I would have started this love letter project without him if I’m being completely honest. I genuinely enjoyed all the memories I made as Natsuki. Thank you to Natsuki and to the Mikaze-discord for basically starting me off.
From Luke:
Natsuki was actually the very first character I encountered before I got into utapri. A friend showed a photo of him and told me that I'd probably be into this guy. She sure was right! After installing shining live for the first time and having a familiar face on the screen, I grew curious of him each day and just had to find out why was so attracted to him. The fact that I've seen him so many times in the past was haunting me, telling me that this man actually watched me grow up from a distance without even knowing his name. It sounds weird but I find it rather comforting for someone who doesn't want to be protected but isn't strong enough to defend myself alone.
The thought of having him there was enough to get me through the day and gave me enough reason to wake up to the next. I admit I may have adapted some of his habits after looking after his account for a year but that isn't a bad thing if it means that it would turn me into a much better person than I am now. I guess you could say we've grown together now in a sense, preserving the feelings and just living through the moment no matter how happy or sad it is. What's important is that we're not alone in all things we do and in everything we feel, there will always be someone there to keep us moving when we feel like giving up.
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nowandajenn · 4 years ago
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Hard To Get
Pairng: Chris Evans x reader
Warnings: None, except for Chris being doggedly persistent lol
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Chris watches as you and a group of your best friends come into the bar, laughing and joking, arms slung over each other’s shoulders. 
“Hey, Mike! How are ya?” one of the girls calls out, smiling ear to ear. 
“Better than some, worse than others….” Mike, the owner says. 
“Annoyed by all!” you both say in unison, laughing. 
Mike turns to the server, a young guy in his late 20s who’s only been working there for about two weeks. 
“You give this girl whatever she wants tonight, on the house. It’s her birthday.” he says. 
You step forward and press a big kiss to his cheek and throw your arms around him. 
“You’re the best!” you exclaim. 
Chris doesn’t know exactly what it is exactly that draws him in; if it’s your smile, or the way you laugh, or if it’s the mischevious twinkle in your eye, but all he knows is he wants more. 
45 minutes later, Chris is watching as you’re bent over the pool table in the corner, trying to find the perfect angle to take your shot. You’re not dressed to the nines or anything, but you make a pair of skinny jeans that make your ass pop, and a purple sequined halter top that affords him a nice view of your cleavage look like the most amazing outfit in the world.
“Would you just go over and talk to her already?” Josh asks him.
“I’m working up to it.” Chris says defensively. 
“Well, you better hurry it up before this place closes and you lose your chance forever.”
“Not forever. She obviously comes in here a lot. She seems like she knows the owner pretty well.”
“Yeah, but knowing your luck, you won’t be back in town for months, and by that time, she might be coming in with a new boyfriend. So just shoot your shot already.” 
“You’re a real dick, you know that?”
Josh just smirks. 
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You sit down at the bar to take a break from dancing and to order some wings and more drinks for you and your friends. After a spectacularly shitty week that saw you passed over for a promotion that you deserved and being stood up by a blind date (never again), spending your birthday out with your best girlfriends is the perfect way to unwind and forget about it all. 
You’re waiting for your food and sipping your beer when a guy who looks remarkably like Chris Evans sits down next to you. 
“Hey, can I get a Stella?” he asks the bartender. He nods and gets the beer from the cooler and then pops the top and sets it in front of him. 
“Cheers.” he says. You flash him a smile and touch your bottle of Sam Adams to his beer before you both take a drink. 
“So, I heard it’s your birthday.” he says. 
You laugh and look down at your watch. 
“Only for another half an hour, technically.” you tell him. 
“It’s my birthday too.” 
“No kidding?” you ask. 
“Nope. 39.” 
You laugh. “Prove it.”
He pulls out his ID, holding his thumb over the address as you scan it. 
Holy shit, this IS Chris Evans!!
Your eyes settle on the date of birth, and sure enough, it’s June 13th, 1981. 
“Well, happy birthday to us.” you say with a grin, and you clink your bottle against his once more. 
“Did you want to dance?” Chris asks. 
“Oh…..I…..” you turn around and look towards where your friends are congregated. 
“I’m really flattered, I am, but I don’t want to be an asshole and bail on my friends, you know?” 
You feel bad immediately when you see his face fall slightly. 
“It’s okay. I understand. You should go have fun. You’re only young once.” he tells me. 
You apologize once more before slipping off the barstool and heading back to your friends.
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2am finds you outside, sweaty and needing some fresh air after dancing your ass off without taking a break. 
You’re just about to light your cigarette when you hear a voice coming from your left side. 
“Can I bum a smoke?” 
You almost drop your lighter; you really thought you were the only one out here.
“Jesus Christ, make a noise!” you say, holding your hand over your heart. 
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Chris says. 
You fish your pack out of your purse and pull out a cigarette and hand it to Chris and then hand him your lighter. 
“You smoke but you don’t carry cigarettes?” you ask. 
“I’m more of a social smoker. I try not to make it a habit.” he explains. 
You make small talk as you smoke, and you laugh at his cheesy dad jokes. He really is cute and funny and charming, but you’re really not looking for anything right now. Especially not with someone famous. You can only imagine what a headache THAT must be. 
“So, you ready to dance with me now?” he asks, smirking. 
You laugh. “My God, you are tenacious as hell.” 
He shrugs. “Well, I didn’t get this far in life by being shy and keeping quiet. I don’t know what it is….but I saw you and my heart just kind of skipped. I know that sounds so stupid and cliche’, but something just drew me to you.” he says. 
You sigh. 
“Can I be really honest with you?” you ask. 
He nods. 
“I’m coming off of a really shitty week. Actually, it’s been a pretty shitty year. It’s kind of just been a string of disappointments all in a row. And I promised myself that I would start off 35 the right way. I’m going to find a new job, I’m not going to get wrapped up in guys and their bullshit. I’ve spent way too much time focused on other people and their happiness, that I’ve completely ignored my own. I like you. I really do, but I’m just not looking to fall into the same habits. It’s nothing against you. It’s just the fact that I’ve been burned one too many times and I’m kinda over it.” 
“I get it. Honestly, I do. Trust me, I’ve been where you are now. It’s exhausting being hurt so many times.” he says. 
Before you can say anything else, he gives you a beautiful smile before stubbing out his cigarette and turning to go back inside. 
Again, you feel like an asshole. 
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About thirty minutes before last call, all hell breaks loose. Your friends have all decided to call it a night, citing early mornings and needing to relieve babysitters as reasons for bailing, but you’ve decided to stick around a little longer. 
A group of really drunk dudes have decided to throw down and you’re just desperately trying not to get in the way. You don’t feel like being smooshed to death by one of the assholes. 
A beer bottle gets thrown your way, and before you can even wince or make a move, you’re hitting the floor and there’s a huge weight on top of you. You crack one eye open to see what’s happening, to find Chris on top of you. 
“Hi.” you breathe out. 
“Hi. Sorry. I saw that bottle headed your way, and I just kind of….”
“Decided to throw yourself on me?” you ask, laughing. 
He looks down, between himself and you and shrugs. 
“Pretty much, yeah.” 
By the time you both get up off the floor, the fight has broken up, and the offending parties have been escorted out. 
“Thank you. For saving me from death by beer bottle.” you tell him. 
“I don’t think it would have been THAT bad, honestly.” he chuckles. 
“Still….thank you.”
You don’t know what comes over you, but you raise up on your toes and press a soft kiss to Chris’ lips. 
The two of you just stand there for a moment, staring at each other, trying to process exactly what just happened. 
“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t-”
You don’t get a chance to finish because Chris wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer before pressing his lips against yours, and kissing you soundly. 
By the time you break apart for air, they’re calling last call, and you’re trying to get the oxygen back to your brain. 
“Do you want to get out of here?” 
You nod. “Mmmhmm. Yeah. I do.” 
 The Usual Suspects: @averyrogers83 @wordywarriorwrites @imanuglywombat @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @hlkwrites @reminiscingrogers @mom—nicole @jtargaryen18 @alexakeyloveloki @kelbabyblue @sarahp879 @moonlessnight14 @mojean13 @mrskokitztelford @artisticrogers1972 @southerngracela @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @mybesttobobcratchit @gracethegeek9902 @mdemontespan1667 @marvelfansworld @capslut2014 @dispatchvampire @jamielea81 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ @southerngracela​ @what-is-your-plan-today @letsdisneythings​ @theladybiers @lexeeehhh @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @autumnrose40 @donutloverxo​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @jessayw
@smediumsmeatbae
Kinktober 2020: @saiyanprincessswanie​ @superquirky-blog
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12tardis · 4 years ago
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Empire Line (Part 1/?)
Warnings: none
Summary: Newt has been in love with you since your second year at Hogwarts. You have been in love with Newt for nearly as long. You’re both ridiculously oblivious and you think he has feelings for Tina. Will Newt set the record straight before he loses you for good?
Pairings: Newt Scamander x Reader, Reader x OC (super brief)
A/N: Sooooooo this is part 1 of ? maybe 2 or 3 I really really really hope you like it bc I’ve slaved over this one. I’ve been wanting to write something more than just one shots for a while but my self esteem hit rock bottom this last couple months and that has bled over into my writing- hence why I’ve been so absent on here I’m so sorry fam ☹ In my head, this is a companion piece to I’m Gonna Keep You In Love With Me , it’s their origin story. Pls let me know your thoughts! I’d love to know what you think or where you think it’s headed. What do we think of Alistair?... Title: Empire Line by The National - literally listened to this on repeat while writing this
Taglist (I LOVE YALL): @auror-lovie @moonkissk7 @sagittarius-flowerchild @fishdonttouch @cal-ifornication @haileygarciasunshine
You had been completely in love with your best friend Newt Scamander since your school days at Hogwarts. You two had been inseparable since you first met and were now living together in a shared flat in London as you had been for the past few years since graduation.
You had tried to make your feelings known several times over the span of your friendship but Newt was either oblivious or pretending to be so he didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of turning you down. You thought it was the former but as the years drew on you grew suspicious because how could one person be so completely clueless?
The unrequited love was recently becoming harder and harder for you to push aside. Your heart ached with every letter he exchanged with your dear friend Tina and your stomach knotted every time he would mention her in passing.
At the end of the day his happiness was all that mattered to you and if Tina was the one to bring him that then you would accept it. You just weren’t sure how you would bear it when they finally did get together.
Maybe it was time for you to move on and open your heart up to other possibilities. Merlin knows there’d been plenty of willing men ever the years, but you’d always held out hope that the love of your life would one day return your feelings.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to settle for someone else.
Once you finished your cup of tea you set the empty mug in the sink and grabbed your handbag before you left the flat, starting the journey to your workplace. Walking through the streets distractedly you thought over all the times you had tried to tell Newt how you felt.
The most recent time was when you’d been standing beside him a few months ago, posing for a photo for the newspaper at one of his book signings. You were so immensely proud of Newt for his hard work and dedication in pursuing his passion despite everyone that had ridiculed him for it throughout his life.
You had accompanied him in his travels while he wrote the book and had only fallen more in love with your best friend as you watched him in his element. And you thought maybe he may have returned your feelings considering he’d dedicated the book to you. Even his brother Theseus had dropped a couple of not-so-subtle hints your way regarding you and his younger brother.
So, as you stood beside him a few months ago at his first book signing you held his hand tightly in your own. You were pressed close to him and beaming with pride for the camera and you caught yourself glancing up at him where he stood beside you. He looked so uncomfortable and nervous in front of the camera but at the same time he was just so ridiculously handsome. You continued to gaze up at him adoringly after the photographer had moved on, squeezing his hand.
“I love you.”
You uttered the words before you could even stop yourself. It just felt so right and after everything that had happened over the past few months you were certain you had ‘something’. But when he looked back down at you with a crooked smile and squeezed your shoulder casually you felt a sinking sensation in your stomach.
“I love you too,” he said back with such ease that you just knew he only meant it as a friend. Your smile dropped for a split second, but you quickly composed yourself, letting go of his hand.
“Aaaaand I’m going to go find myself a drink,” you said in a fake bright voice, leaving him behind, completely unaware of the way he was staring after you yearningly.
What you didn’t see was the older woman that stepped over to him telling him that you were a lovely couple. And you definitely didn’t see the way he smiled back at the woman, thanking her softly as he continued to look at your retreating figure.
People were always mistaking you for a couple. It had been a regular occurrence since you were 5th years but unbeknownst to you - Newt had recently stopped correcting people when they made the same assumption. Instead opting to smile warmly in response and allow himself to get lost in the illusion for the briefest moment.
                                          -     -     -     -     -     -
You sighed to yourself as you reminisced on the memory, slipping your apron over your head once you arrived at work. That particular moment had taken you a good few weeks to get over.
Were you that undesirable to Newt that he didn’t even consider the possibility of you harbouring romantic feelings for him beyond friendship?
And then there’d been the numerous events you’d asked him to over the years.
You had been the one to ask him to the Yule Ball in your 6th year.
You’d asked him to attend your brother's wedding with you a few years after.
Once again you’d asked him to go as your date with you to a cocktail ball your work company held just the previous year.
And each and every time he knocked you back. His excuses ranged from: ‘it’s not my scene’, to ‘Pickett is under the weather’. And each rejection hurt more than the last.
To his credit though, he did eventually change his mind each time and always ended up being the best plus one there ever was. But that didn’t quite erase the embarrassment and heartache you felt every time he turned you down.
Just last week you’d asked him to go with you to your old school friend’s wedding. You’d thought he’d agree easily this time as Sarah was a mutual Hufflepuff friend of both of yours and she and Newt had always gotten along but he’d simply told you, “I’ll think about it,” before he had scurried off to his bedroom.
“Excuse me, are you open yet?” You snapped out of your musings once more when you heard the first customer for the day enter the shop, plastering a bright smile on your face. You were determined to have a good day.
                                           -     -     -     -     -     -
Newt walked into the kitchen shortly after you’d left for the day, frowning when he saw you had indeed left without saying goodbye and that you’d forgotten your lunch too.
He was worried about you lately. You usually always wished him a good day before you headed off anywhere and you hadn’t done so a couple of times now during the last few weeks. You also appeared to be forgetting meals here and there too.
You had been uncharacteristically quiet since the two of you had returned back from New York and Newt figured you must have been upset about leaving behind Queenie and Tina.
He knew how much you had bonded with the Goldstein sisters and he’d tried his best to cheer you up but everything he tried appeared to be futile as the smile would disappear from your face after a few moments and you’d just go back to tending to your plants or reading your books.
The only thing that seemed to grab your attention was when he would talk about Tina so he found himself mentioning the other woman most days, feeling a sense of relief when you would actually utter more than a few words in response. But something still seemed off.
He didn’t have the slightest clue about the heart ache you felt each time he uttered the other woman’s name.
Newt grabbed your lunch off of the counter and made his way to your workplace, figuring he could grab some things from the nearby grocers afterwards. He was planning to cook your favourite meal for dinner in the hopes to cheer you up a bit and maybe ask if there was something upsetting you recently.
Smiling to himself when he arrived at the small plant nursery where you worked, he leaned in the doorframe as he watched you tend to the plants, humming quietly to yourself. He saw you happy and at ease for the first time in weeks and he couldn’t help the grin that spread on his face at seeing you huff in annoyance when you couldn’t reach one of the hanging plants, stretching up onto your toes to try and reach the offending plant. How could one person be so adorable?
He was just about to step in and retrieve it for you when another gentleman walked over to you, resting a hand on your waist as he leant over you to grab the planter down. The smile dropped from Newt’s face immediately as he watched this man grin down at you, still completely in your personal space.
The mystery man set the plant down on the counter in front of you and Newt felt bile rise in his throat at the giggle you let out when the man leant in even closer to you, brushing some soil from your face. He was obviously a co-worker of yours and Newt felt awful because he should have been happy that you were happy, considering your previous co-worker had been horrible to you but when he saw the way the other guy still had his hand on your waist he felt nothing but jealousy.
Who was this guy?
Why hadn’t you told him you had a new co-worker?
You usually told him everything.
He thought you told him everything.
And WHY was the guy still gripping your waist like that?
Jealousy. It was a rare feeling for him to experience but it definitely wasn’t a new one. He’d experienced it every time someone had come along over the years and dared to look at you a little too long, or touch you with too much familiarity.
And every time, he felt like the world's biggest ass because he knew he didn’t have some claim to you. You weren’t some prize to be won or fought over, and yet here he was, gritting his teeth as he watched the other man make you laugh and swoon, just like he wished he could.
It took him back to the very first time he’d experienced the wrath of the green-eyed monster when you were 3rd years at Hogwarts.
                                           -     -     -     -     -     -
Newt was rushing towards the common room to find you with the new Pixie he’d just found hidden in his robes. He was excited to show you his discovery because you’d been particularly fascinated in the pixies when you’d studied them in class but as he stepped into the common room he was entirely unprepared for the sight that greeted him.
Pierce Brixley, one of the popular Hufflepuff 5th years, was gripping your shoulders and saying something to you with a megawatt smile on his face.
He couldn’t quite make out what either of you were saying as he made his way towards you, pausing in his tracks when Pierce leant in and planted an eager kiss on your cheek. Newt then felt a foreign twisting sensation in his stomach as he watched you lift a hand to your cheek to brush over where Pierce’s lips had just been, laughing while you waved to the older boy as he turned to leave.
“You saved my life, Y/N!”, Pierce called out to you over his shoulder as he rushed to leave the room. Newt noticed the other boy had a potted plant grasped in his hands.
“Oh, hi Newt!”, he grinned but Newt simply nodded at him wordlessly, watching him leave the common room in a rush.
He didn’t know what this strange feeling was that had just washed over him. Newt really liked Pierce. The older Hufflepuff had gotten him out of strife with some of his bullies several times and had even offered to help him with his studies from time to time.
So why did Newt suddenly feel the urge to jinx him?
“There you are! I’ve been looking for you since Charms”, you beamed at him, practically bounding over to him and tipping your head aside at the blank expression he wore.
“What was that about?”, he asked, completely ignoring your earlier statement, feeling a twitch of annoyance when you frowned at him in confusion “with Pierce,” he quickly clarified.
“Oh! Right that,” you laughed, shaking your head.
“He was panicking yesterday because it’s his girlfriend's birthday tomorrow and he accidentally squashed the Puffapod he’d gotten for her but it was fine because I found some growing out by the pumpkin patch- remember that time?”, you barely paused for breath, waiting for him to nod in affirmation.
“Yeah so I just gave him a new one that I dug up today. And now I have a sad but still hopeful Puffapod of my own to nurse!” You smiled as you held up the crushed and wilted flower for him to see.
And just like that the foreign sensation in his gut was gone and he felt normal again.
“So, I got him out of a pickle apparently but I’m not too sure about that because I don’t know who in their right mind thinks a Puffapod is a romantic gift! They make you dizzy if you mishandle them, did you know that? I certainly wouldn’t appreciate that as a gift.”
You rambled on so quickly that Newt was struggling to keep up, but he couldn’t stop his growing smile because he absolutely loved listening and watching you go off on tangents. You were so passionate about plants and flowers and he utterly adored the way your eyes would light up when you got carried away talking about them.
He gazed back at you as you continued to talk about the qualities of a Puffpod while you inspected the plant in your hands, trailing your fingers over the foliage.
“So, what kind of gift would you appreciate then?” he chuckled, smiling softly back at you and you blinked back at him because it wasn’t really something you had thought about.
“Uh...just something that shows genuine thought and care I guess- WAIT is that a Pixie?!”
                                           -     -     -     -     -     -
Newt was broken out of his daydreaming when he heard you laugh once more, and he cleared his throat when he decided you had spent way too long gazing back at the mystery man.
He gritted his teeth when said man was the one to turn to greet him while you went back to watering the plants, not noticing his presence in the shop.
“Hi there! How can I help you today?”, your co-worker said brightly, heading around the counter towards Newt.
Newt held up the lunch bag in his hand. “I came to see Y/N”, he said flatly, so flatly that he almost didn’t recognise his own voice.
Newt stared at you desperately feeling some of the tension leave him when you looked up to see him, a bright smile appearing on your face not a moment later.
“Newt!”
You smiled happily at him instinctively. You were always happy to see him, that much had never changed. It was just when you pictured him with Tina that that miserable shadow would fall over you again.
You cocked your head aside as you bounded over to him and Newt was entirely distracted by the sensation of his heart swelling on his chest at the sight of you, looking just like you did that time in your 3rd year.
Your lips parted when you recognised he was holding your lunch that you hadn’t even realised you’d forgotten. “Oh goodness, I totally forgot. Thank you, Newt! What would I do without you?”, you pecked him on the cheek quickly as you took the bag from him.
Newt blushed as he usually would at your affection, but he also felt a small sense of pride when he noticed the way your co-worker’s eyebrows shot up at the kiss.
“Starve probably,” he answered with a teasing smile, pausing when he spotted some lingering soil on your cheek that the other man had obviously failed to brush away.
He lifted his hand without a moment's hesitation and slowly and gently thumbed away the remaining dirt from your skin. Not noticing the way you held your breath and leant into his touch instinctively.
“I’ll see you later”, Newt murmured, dropping his hand quickly when he realised how long he’d been staring at you. He allowed his hand to brush down your arm, squeezing your hand in his own momentarily before he stepped away from you.
“Have a good day, Y/N,” he called looking back at you once he was in the doorway, simply nodding at your co-worker before he left the shop.
That evening when you arrived home to find Newt preparing your favourite meal for dinner, you’d felt a small spark of hope flourish in your chest, wondering if maybe he was trying to be romantic. Especially after that moment in the shop.
The meal was perfect, and you were sat there gazing back at Newt adoringly with your chin resting in your palm while he told you about his day with the creatures.
He paused in his ramblings as he got up “oh I nearly forgot, Tina wrote us both,” he grabbed two envelopes from the kitchen counter, passing you yours with a wide smile.
And just like that you felt all your hopes fade away once again. This time it really hurt to see the soft smile on his lips as he looked down at his own letter that looked considerably thicker than yours.
Of course it would be thicker than yours.
They were probably writing full romantic essays back and forth by now.
You plastered on a smile of resignation, pocketing your own letter and going straight to your bedroom once you’d finished cleaning up. Having no idea that Tina had actually written to Newt in great detail of all the reasons why she felt he needed to share his feelings for you.
                                        -     -     -     -     -     -
Newt had read over Tina’s letter at least a dozen times over the following week, knowing logically that everything the woman had written was true.
‘I know you’re nervous. Especially after all this time but you’ve known Y/N for so long now you know she would never ridicule you or lash out at you.
You should make the most of all the precious time you have together. Our time is never promised, I learnt that with the passing of my parents and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to be able to tell them how much I loved them.
I can’t tell you for sure how she will respond but you will be able to finally rest without wondering what could be. Be brave Newt.’
He’d been re-reading that specific page over and over again and he was finally building a plan in his head of how he was going to tell you.
There had been so many moments over the years when he’d nearly told you of his feelings. The words had truly been on the very tip of his tongue more times than he could count.
But every time he grew anxious and backed out, promising himself he’d tell you ‘next time’.
The most recent time had been just a fortnight earlier when you’d been down in his case with him.
He went to the markets to fetch you a box of your favourite pastries and a bouquet of your favourite flowers, planning to present them to you when you got home from work. He had set the sweets and flowers in his study to give to you later before he’d headed down to check on the creatures, running through what he would say to you in his head as he cleaned around the enclosures.
“Newt?”, he startled when he heard your voice call for him because you weren’t due home for another hour. He looked up in time to see you coming down the stairs towards him.
“You will not believe who’s getting married!”, you said excitedly, waving the opened wedding invitation in front of his face “Sarah! Oh I’m so excited, it’s next month and the venue is incredible. Please come with me? Please?” you rambled on quickly.
Newt felt the courage to tell you of his feelings completely disappearing as he looked back at you and how beautiful you looked gushing excitedly over the wedding of your mutual Hufflepuff friend. “I-I’ll think about it,” he stammered, turning his attention back to his creatures because he simply couldn’t trust himself to look at you any longer without blurting out everything he had on his mind.
He was so focused on managing his own emotions that he was entirely oblivious to the hurt that washed over your features and the dejected way you slumped your shoulders before you left him alone in his case.
That evening he ended up tossing the pastries to Dougal and leaving the flowers on the doorstep of your workplace for you to find the next day, figuring it wouldn’t be too strange for a floral bouquet to show up at a plant and floral shop.
                                       -     -     -     -     -     -
The next time he worked up the courage to tell you how he felt wasn’t for another two weeks. The weeks had passed rather uneventfully as you both had continued on in your usual routines.
It was that morning as he watched you feeding the Mooncalves with the sweetest smile on your lips and Pickett perched on your shoulder that he decided he was going to try and tell you again.
You had seemed to perk up again recently so he took that as a good sign and once you’d left for work that day he once again went to buy you your favourite flowers and even booked a table at one of the restaurants you’d been nagging him to go to. Yes, he was going to put himself entirely out of his comfort zone tonight if it meant winning your heart.
Time got away from him though as he did a few other errands and got caught up in a menswear shop when he decided on a whim that he was going to buy a nice suit that you would hopefully like. He recalled you telling him how much you liked him in blue, so he was feeling quite confident with himself as he wandered back to the flat with his new blue suit and your flowers in hand.
It was 5.30 now. You would most likely be home from work but he figured that still gave you both ample time to get ready for dinner and enough time for him to plan out what he was going to say to you like he hadn’t already been rehearsing all day.
But his newfound confidence dissipated immediately as he approached the front door, hearing your voice and a distinct male voice that he didn’t recognise. Just like that he felt every last drop of courage drain from his body as he stepped into the flat and saw the very same co-worker from a few weeks ago.
He was sitting at the dining room table smiling back at you while you had your head tipped back in laughter at something that he’d said.
                                            -     -     -     -     -     -
Completely unbeknownst to Newt you had spent the last two weeks trying your very hardest to train your heart out of beating erratically every time you saw your best friend smile. Or stopping your stomach from doing somersaults every time he looked back at you with a little too much interest.
Sure, you loved him more than anything or anyone, but you simply couldn’t take any more of listening to him gush on and on about Tina. You knew it was time for you to move on.
So, you had to get over him and that meant turning your attention to your co-worker, Alistair. He was handsome, he was flirty, he was passionate about plants like you and most importantly he was into you.
You were still down in the dumps from Newt turning down your invite to Sarah’s wedding as you walked to work the next day but as you stepped towards the shop the most incredible bouquet of flowers sat waiting for you against the shop door. You felt your chest tighten as you scooped up the arrangement, seeing it was all your favourites.
“Blegh, who puts sunflowers with peonies and ranunculi?” Alistair said from beside you, having just arrived. You looked back at him suspiciously.
“...they’re my favourite flowers,” you said slowly, watching him closely because you were certain he’d heard you telling a customer that much just a few days ago.
“Oh, I knew that, I was just joking” Alistair played it off casually with a wink and such a charming smile that you were convinced he’d been the one to leave them for you.
When he set his hand on your waist and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek you were certain it had been him.
Who else could it be?
                                           -     -     -     -     -     -
“Oh hi, Newt! This is Alistair I’m not sure you’ve met properly yet,” you said brightly when you noticed Newt had arrived home, gesturing to the man sitting across from you. Alistair looked Newt up and down, keeping a pleasant smile on his face as he eyed the flowers Newt had tucked under his arm. Almost an exact replica of the bouquet from the other week, just in a different colour arrangement.
“Pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard plenty about you,” he said smoothly, holding his hand out to Newt.
Newt shook Alistair’s hand begrudgingly, feeling completely intimidated by just how classically handsome and built the other man was. He could never compare.
“Nice flowers you got there,” Alistair nodded at the bouquet just as you jumped to your feet excitedly, finally noticing the flowers.
“Uh...yeah I just found these on the doorstep,” Newt lied, holding the flowers out to you and stiffening at the calculating look Alistair was now giving him.
You blinked a few times as you took the stunning bouquet from Newt, whipping your head aside to look at Alistair.
“I KNEW it was you!”, you said happily as you poked a finger into Alistair’s chest, completely missing the look of confusion that passed over his face for a fleeting moment.
And missing the look of alarm Newt was giving you.
“You tried to pretend you didn’t know what my favourite flowers were! When did you even have the time to put them there?”, you giggled, truly thinking Alistair had managed to pull off such a romantic feat.
Newt gritted his teeth, feeling the strongest flare of jealousy yet when he saw Alistair quickly compose himself and plaster that stupid smug smirk back on his face “well I had them delivered of course,” he lied smoothly as his eyes flicked to Newt.
The two men locked eyes for a moment. Alistair was silently challenging Newt to tell you otherwise. Newt glanced back at you, opening his mouth to protest but he stopped himself just as quickly when he saw the happy glimmer in your eyes.
He just didn’t have the heart to ruin your good mood especially considering how down you had been lately.
So what if you thought the flowers came from Alistair? It was a harmless misunderstanding, right?
Not a moment later you were pressing a kiss to Alistair’s cheek and Newt was gritting his teeth again.
You wandered away to find a vase for the flowers, leaving the two men alone to just stare at each other. Alistair looked back at Newt and the stony expression he now wore, clearing his throat after a moment.
“I should really get going, Y/N,” he called out, keeping his gaze fixed firmly on Newt, another fake smile gracing his lips when you turned to look at him.
“It was nice to meet you, Newt.”
Alistair walked over to you and Newt wanted to die as he watched him press a kiss to the top of your head and saw the shy smile you gave him in return.
Newt briefly considered throwing the damn bouquet into his case for the creatures to feast on when you went to see Alistair off but when you returned to the room, he felt a horrible sense of guilt settle in his chest. You looked so happy and touched by the notion and he just didn’t have the will to wipe that smile from your face.
Would you have been so happy if you’d known who they were truly from?
Probably not.
“He seems nice,” he murmured quietly, staring back at you desperately and hoping you would realise the truth. But when you nodded your head in response, he knew it was a pointless hope.
“Yeah he’s lovely. He’s uh, a bit of a handful sometimes but he’s really sweet and he doesn’t get bored of all my plant talk,” you laughed, looking back at Newt, nodding at the bag he had in his hand “what did you buy?”
“Oh, just some stuff for in the case,” he lied quickly, forcing a smile at you before he walked away, pretending that his heart wasn’t in total shambles.
He decided it didn’t matter who the flowers were really from. All that mattered was that you were happy.
                                           -     -     -     -     -     -
Another week passed and Newt didn’t hear or see anything more of Alistair much to his relief. Strangely, you appeared to have slipped back into your more quiet subdued self and Newt was worried again.
Had Alistair done something to upset you maybe?
In actual fact you’d been wallowing for a few days now since you’d happened to glimpse one of Newt’s letters from Tina, mistakenly thinking it was yours.
‘Newt,
There is so much to admire about you. You are handsome and inspiring and truly one of a kind. I know Queenie agrees with me on this. Don’t sell yourself short. Much love,
Tina
Not only were you completely unaware that the true intention of the letter was more of a friendly pep talk on Tina’s behalf after Newt had written to her about his failure in telling you his feelings and detailing how charming Alistair was comparatively. But you were also hurt to think that Newt had neglected to tell you that he and Tina had made things official.
Sure, the letter was a little lacklustre and you could think of roughly two thousand things to add to the list of things to admire about Newt, but it was still clearly a letter between two people holding affection for one another.
It wasn’t an idea you really wanted to accept yet, so you decided the safest course of action for your bruised heart was to limit your time with Newt. So as a result, you’d been busying yourself throughout the week with your garden.
He would tell you about his new relationship with Tina when he was ready, and you would smile and support him like a good friend.
You’d been up in your bedroom all morning and Newt was concerned so he set about making you a cup of tea deciding he would go and check on you but he nearly dropped the mug in his hand when you came sweeping into the kitchen, dressed up to the nines in the most magnificent dress he’d never seen before.
Your lips were painted to perfection and your hair was styled to frame your face. His chest was aching from your sheer beauty.
“Y/N, you look...incredible,” he breathed, his mouth agape as he looked back at you. “What’s...what’s the occasion?”, he managed to ask eventually, moving closer to you instinctively.
You were completely taken aback by his reaction and his sweet words because he almost looked...awed? You shook the thought away, remembering the letter from Tina and frowned at him.
“It’s Sarah’s wedding? Remember you were invited? I told you about it last month?”, you walked away from him when the doorbell rang, and Newt stared after you helplessly.
Had Sarah’s wedding seriously snuck up that quickly?
Why hadn’t you mentioned it to him again?
Usually you would remind him of such events with a few weeks’ notice, giving him plenty of time to get his act together.
He felt his stomach drop and he understood exactly why you hadn’t mentioned the wedding to him again when he saw you pull the front door open, revealing a fancy suit-clad Alistair. You were taking a practical stranger as your date to the wedding of one of your oldest friends and boy did that feel like a kick in the guts.
“Y/N, didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to out-shine the bride on her wedding day?”, Alistair said loudly as he walked into the apartment, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. Newt rolled his eyes so hard he thought they might roll right out of his head.
“Oh, you won’t be saying that when you see Sarah. She’s actual perfection”, you smiled back at Alistair bashfully.
“I highly doubt there is going to be a single lady who can hold a candle to you today”, Alistair smirked, and Newt grit his teeth because that was something he could actually agree upon but just the way the other man was leering at you as he said it had Newt wanting to cover you up in one of his long coats. They always did swim on your frame.
Alistair eventually stopped his leering long enough to thrust a huge bouquet of flowers into your face. You raised your eyebrows because this time it was a giant bouquet of red roses.
“I thought it was about time to change it up a little, don’t you think?”, Alistair smiled, reaching out to toy with a strand of your hair, making Newt want to break his hand.
When you just stared at the roses wordlessly Alistair pressed a kiss to your cheek “I think Roses are much better suited to a lady such as yourself. Elegant, beautiful and the flower of romance.”
As you took the bouquet from Alistair and offered him a thankful smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes Newt found himself being thrown back into his Hogwarts days when he’d first learned the truth of why you didn’t like roses.
                                            -     -     -     -     -     -
“Now remember this spell will only heal minor injuries.  Anything beyond that and I highly suggest that you still take a visit to the hospital wing.” Professor Jamieson’s dry voice carried through the classroom.
“Now repeat after me ep-PIS-kee...Episkey. Good.”
Newt was sat beside you in charms class during your second year, fidgeting with his quill nervously as he prayed the Professor wouldn’t call on him to demonstrate for the class.
Professor Jamieson had a penchant for making the entire class demonstrate their pronunciation and wand motions and it was often a source of great embarrassment for Newt as he would stutter when the entire class was watching him.
Newt groaned quietly from his spot beside you when the teacher did just that and he began to bounce his knee nervously as the students began to take turns one by one.
He blinked in surprise when you lay your hand on his knee. You offered him a smile of comfort and he felt his nerves melt away for a moment as he found himself getting lost in your eyes and the soft curve of your lips.
That moment was short lived though as the Professor had the class begin to recite the spell and the motion one by one.
He desperately whispered the spell to himself under his breath, but of course once it was his turn he froze, staring down at his desk as he fumbled with his wand.
Everyone’s eyes were on him as you nudged him gently and the Professor called on him again.
“...Ep-p-p...p-pisskey,” his flushed deep red right to his ears as one Colin Fligshaw guwaffed with laughter, already mocking Newt from the back of the classroom.
“P-p-p-p please Professor! I only speak FREAK!”, Colin mocked, and Newt sat in complete humiliation wanting nothing more than to disappear as the other students began to laugh along.
That was until you threw your ink pot with shocking accuracy, hitting Colin in the middle of his head and sending the ink all over the boy and his robes “Merlin, YOU’RE A GIT, FLIGSHAW!”
Your angry voice carried through the classroom as everyone else sat in stunned silence and Newt stared at you like you’d grown a second head.
“Miss L/N, Mr Fligshaw, detention for a week! And 10 points from Hufflepuff and Gryffindor!”  
You scowled back at the other boy who at least had the decency to look ashamed, remembering the time you had made him pay for stealing Newt’s textbooks the year before. He’d had a sore ear for an entire week after you’d dragged him the length of the entire school, ranting and raving at him like a complete lunatic.
“Y/N, you didn’t have to do that. Now you’re gonna be stuck in detention,” Newt said when you were leaving the classroom and you frowned at the guilty expression he wore.
“Newt, you’re my best friend. I’m not just going to sit back and watch you be poked fun of. Plus, you’re going meet me after detention every day with snacks, aren’t you?”, you grinned back at him. You were only joking but Newt nodded in response.
And he did just that. Waiting diligently outside the detention hall for you each afternoon with your favourite snacks hidden in his robes that he’d pinched from the kitchens.
“You’re free!”, he hugged you when you’d finally finished serving your punishment at the end of the week, handing you a cinnamon bun that was still warm.
You hummed happily in appreciation wasting no time in chomping down on the pastry as Newt held out a letter for you to see “Look what my parents wrote me h-oh no!”, he tried to grasp for the paper when a gust of wind sent it flying out of his hand.
You quickly chased after it across the courtyard and Newt tried to call out to get your attention, but it was too late. You managed to catch the paper at the same time you stumbled straight into a rose bush, crying out when the thorns dug into your skin.
“Y/N!” he ran over to you as you thrashed around trying to free yourself from the rose bush, only to end up with more thorns piercing your skin. “Y/N stop moving!”
He winced at your whimper of pain as he carefully pried the bushes away from you, helping you out from the garden bed and sitting you down carefully as he looked over your injuries and torn stockings.
“This IS WHY I HATE ROSES! Firstly, they remind me of my mum's funeral because Merlin, they were everywhere that day but now this! Terrible, stupid, overrated flowers!”
Newt hated the tears he could see you fighting back as you bit your lip in pain. Your stockings were torn and there was blood running down both of your legs. He didn’t hesitate as he knelt down in front of you, taking your hand and using his other to pluck his wand out from his pocket.
“Episkey,” he murmured, letting out a sigh of relief when your skin mended quickly and you were no longer wincing in pain.
“Newt! You did it!”, you gasped, looking at him with big eyes and gripping his shoulders with a proud smile.
“I guess I just needed a reason to get it right,” he smiled back at you crookedly, casting another charm to get rid of the blood and dirt off of you before he helped you to your feet.
He didn’t let go of your hand as he guided you towards the common room, vowing to never ever present you with roses as a gift.
                                                 -     -     -     -     -     -
Newt stepped towards you cutting Alistair from your view as you set the flowers in water with an unreadable expression on your face.
You looked up when he took your hand, looking back at him in confusion before you smiled weakly at him.
“It’s okay. I told Sarah you were busy with book signing things. She understands.” You squeezed his hand gently and Newt wanted to kick himself because that was the last thing that was on his mind. Really, he just wanted to stop you from leaving with him.
He wanted to tell you the truth. And he wanted to dash off to get into his own suit so he could take you to the wedding himself, but he knew he’d lost his chance.
Alistair’s low laughter filled the kitchen as he moved over to you and Newt gritted his teeth at the way he was still leering at you. “Don’t worry Newt, I’ll have her home by curfew,” Alistair teased, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you out of Newt’s grasp.
“Come on princess. We don’t want to be late,” Alistair fixed Newt with one last hard look over your shoulder before he pulled you from the house, missing the way you looked back at Newt in concern. Wondering what it was that he’d been trying to tell you.
Once you were gone from the flat Newt tried to go about his day as usual but the image of you looking so beautiful in Alistair’s arms was burned into his retinas and he found himself checking the time constantly.
He glanced at his watch with a sigh for the 4th time in an hour that afternoon, wondering what you were doing and if Alistair was being respectful. He knew it was silly. You were an adult and you could take care of yourself but that didn’t stop him from worrying and it certainly didn’t stop him from wallowing in self-pity.
As the hours wore on and the light faded, he found himself feeling more and more worked up, lingering in the living room by the front door when he would usually be in his case working.
It was the thought of you slow dancing in Alistair’s arms that had him rushing from the house and before he knew it, he was standing on his brothers’ doorstep, pounding on the door in a complete daze.
“Newt?”, Theseus frowned when he opened his door, knowing immediately from his younger brother’s body language and expression that something was bothering him. He stepped aside, motioning for Newt to come in and went to put the kettle on the boil while Newt sat himself down in the lounge room.
“I’m sorry I know it’s late and you’re probably busy- I can, I can go,” Newt stuttered when Theseus had returned with a pot of tea, getting to his feet to which Theseus frowned and cast him back into his seat.
“Newton. You know my door is open to you no matter the time. What’s upsetting you?”
Newt let out a deep sigh, brushing his fingers through his hair “I don’t...I don’t really know.”
But Theseus fixed Newt with a deadpan expression because he knew his brother only stumbled on his words like he was now over a select few reasons.
“Is one of the creatures ill?”
Newt shook his head.
“Have you lost Dougal again?”
He shook his head again.
“So, it’s Y/N.” Theseus said slowly, watching the younger man closely as he shook his head again.
“Well no...it’s not her specifically,” Newt ran a hand down his face and then let out a groan as his shoulders slumped.
“Merlin, who am I kidding. She’s at a wedding right now with some other man. Her co-worker. I was supposed to go with her, but I said no- I know I’m an idiot don’t give me that face Thes,” he rambled on as he wrung his hands in his lap.
“They’ve been getting closer lately and I just, I’m trying to be happy for her, but I can’t stand the guy Thes’ I seriously can’t stand the guy and it’s driving me mad!”
Newt’s voice grew louder as he continued on but Theseus watched him curl in on himself again when he finished.
The brothers sat in silence for a few moments as Theseus just looked back at Newt, choosing his words carefully.
“You...don’t like him because you’re simply jealous or you don’t like him because he’s genuinely unlikable?”
Newt blinked back at his brother in confusion “why’s it matter?” he sighed, shaking his head as he flopped back in the chair.
In the past he would have ardently argued that he wasn’t jealous and he didn’t see you that way but he knew there was no point trying to lie to Theseus.
“Well I just mean- do you dislike him just because you want to be him? Because you want to be in his shoes? Or do you dislike him because he’s not a good fit for Y/N? Does he treat her well? Will he make her happy?”
Newt looked down at his lap then, twisting his hands together once more as he pondered what Theseus had said.
“Not like I can,” he whispered eventually.
Theseus nodded in response, smiling softly back at him as he clapped him on the shoulder “then I think you better do something about it, Newt. You need to tell her how you feel before it’s too late.”
He noticed the hesitant look Newt wore so he continued, “you need to tell her before you have to watch her move on with someone who can never love her or treat her like you do.”
Newt got to his feet then, nodding to himself and determined to tell you the truth once and for all. Surely you would be home by now. When he arrived home though it was clear you still haven’t returned. That was fine. It just gave him more time to rehearse what he was going to say.
He paced around the kitchen as he imagined hearing you tell him you felt the same way.
“I had a great time tonight, Y/N.”
Newt’s head snapped up and he spotted you in the front terrace, your heels in one hand and Alistair’s hand gripped in the other.
That was okay too. It didn’t have to mean anything. He could still go through with his plan once you were inside and Alistair had left.
Then just as you reached for the door Alistair tugged your hand, spinning you around in his arms and leaning in for a kiss but you turned your cheek at the last second. You successfully dodged the kiss and Newt could almost hear his own heart sing.
That had to be a good sign! You didn’t want to kiss Alistair so maybe he still had a chance to tell you the truth. His brother's advice still echoed in his ears and he realised he had to tell you tonight before he lost his shot completely.
He sucked in a breath when you finally entered the house, standing in the hallway and just glimpsing Alistair’s retreating figure before you swung the door closed and turned to face him.
“Oh, Newt you’re still up”, you said in surprise and Newt had to focus on the task at hand when he realised just how distractingly gorgeous you were still looking.
“Yes, I have to tell you something,” he blurted out, stepping closer to you tentatively.
“Me too actually,” you murmured, smiling back at him weakly and Newt was caught off guard.
Why were you looking at him like that?
What did that smile mean?
He was so dumbfounded by your expression that he forgot to speak, so you eventually filled the silence.
“Alistair’s moving to South America to research the flora and fauna over there.”
Newt only blinked back at you dumbly, so you spoke up again.
“I said I’d go with him.” OTHER WORKS HERE! -
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bonesandquills · 4 years ago
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Dreamboat (Dream Sans x Reader)
The odd figure always appeared in your dreams. Not that you much minded, not that you minded at all. But, well, you sought to know who he was. He was always there, always a part of your dreams, but he never spoke to you. As things were in dreams, it seemed that you could never quite reach him.
Until finally. . . you got your chance.
It was bright, quiet, peaceful. You were in a calm meadow, with the wind swaying in the grass.
At the far end, you could see him and as you always did, you started towards him.
Perhaps the oddest thing about him was that he was a skeleton. That, however, didn't stop him from being adorable in your eyes. He had dark eyesockets, but from them glittered two pools of gold. He looked bright, cheerful, kind. Around his skull there was a golden band. All his clothes were either pale blue or gold. Somehow, you didn't perceive him as out of place. He seemed natural, a part of the space around him.
You drew close. Rather than disappear as he always did, you finally reached him.
He didn't look at you, barely acknowledging your presence until you spoke.
"I.... hello?"
He smiled, and replied in a voice light as air. "Hello, (Y/N)."
You paused. "How do you know my name?"
He laughed, a regal sort of sound. "Have you forgotten already? This is a dream."
Oh. Right.
"So you're not real?" It was hard to imagine this, him, being a figment of your imagination.
"No," He said, turning to you. "No, I'm as real as you are."
"That doesn't make sense."
He chuckled and explained.
"I am the Prince of Dreams, and good emotions. Sometimes, I go Dreamwalking, as I am now."
"What's your name?"
He laughed again. "Dream."
You tilted your head. "How fitting."
"It was well-intended," he said, turning back to stare over the meadow. There was silence for a moment, then you asked, "Why my dreams, then? You've been here long as I can remember."
At this he seemed to gather a light dusting of gold across his cheekbones.
"Even when we were both young, your dreams were... fascinating. Vibrant, warm, cheerful. I found myself drawn to them. From them I got to know you."
You tilted your head. "How long have you been here?"
"Since the earliest I could Dreamwalk. Since you were young and so was I." As an almost unconscious thought, he took your hand. "I couldn't explain it. Why I was always drawn to you."
You opened your mouth to reply when a shadow seemed to fall over the meadow. Dream looked up.
"You're waking up."
Somehow, you didn't want this to end, and you tightened your hold on his hand. He seemed to notice for the first time that you were holding it and blushed further. "I... I will be here. Next time you dream, look for me." He seemed to consider for a moment, then leaned forward and kissed your cheek. "Goodbye."
You woke up suddenly. You couldn't tell if it had been a dream or not.
You raised your hand to touch where he had kissed you, and it was warm. You smiled.
You looked forward for nightfall.
-------------------------------------
Nightfall didn't come soon enough. The time crawled like it had two broken legs. You ran out of things to do. You tried busying yourself with work, which didn't last long. You tried reading, only to find yourself stuck on the same page for who knows how long.
But finally, finally, finally, came a reasonable hour for you to go to bed.
You got ready, and thought to yourself. What did you look like in your dreams? What did he see?
There was a fair uneasiness that gripped you suddenly. What if you didn't look like yourself in your dream? What if he saw someone completely different? Someone more beautiful, more perfect?
Suddenly you weren't in such a hurry to go to sleep. If there came a time to meet him in real life, would he be disappointed? Would the real you be underwhelming?
You shook off your feelings for a moment. No, what's the worst that could happen?
But that anxiety settled and stayed with you the whole time you were pulling on your pajamas and slipping into bed. It took longer for you to fall asleep that night, much longer...
You woke up in a field of golden flowers. You smiled softly, the gentle yellow buds tickling your face as you slowly sat up and looked around. You didn't recognize this place, didn't recognize these flowers. Was this one of Dream's creations?
You looked around, but couldn't see the figure that you had looked forward to seeing. You slowly got to your feet, and went looking.
You walked for what felt like hours. The golden flower field seemed to go on, and on, endless and forever.
You couldn't find him. After a while you started to feel the same anxiety come back. What if he wasn't coming? What if he decided you weren't worth it? He had always been in your dreams, where was he now?
You tried to breathe deeply, to tell yourself that maybe he was late, maybe he had other things to do. Besides, it was selfish for you to assume that he'd just drop everything for you...
Somehow your thoughts didn't do much to comfort you, and you continued walking. Finally, you found the end of the flowers.
You looked up and the sky was suddenly plunged from it's soft airy blue to a dark inky black. The warmth of the sun that had shone on your back was suddenly replaced with a chilling wind, one that seemed to cut right to your bones. What was going one?
You turned around, looking to head back the way you had come, but there was nothing there except darkness. What had happened?
You shivered and hugged yourself, already missing the sun. Suddenly, in the distance, you saw a short, familiar figure.
You ran toward him, calling his name, smiling. He would make this go away, right? After all, he was the Prince of Dreams.
As you got closer, he turned to face you, and your heart sank suddenly. This wasn't Dream. This wasn't your Dream.
The figure in front of you was a skeleton, yes. But he was the opposite of Dream in every way you could think of. Instead of giving off a soft golden glow, this skeleton seemed to do the opposite, taking all the light from around him and giving only darkness in return. From his back sprouted four inky tentacles that you wanted to stay far away from. One of his eyesockets was fused shut, and he wore a plastered-on smile that send a chill that was colder than the wind.
"Who are you? Where's Dream?"
"Miss my brother, don't ya."
His brother?
"He was so... upset that he couldn't make it tonight. He wanted so much to be with you." The skeleton took a step closer to you, his one eyelight darted over you, examining you. "Though I can't see why."
You lowered your eyes to the ground. "What... what did you do to him?"
"Me? I didn't do anything."
"Liar."
"Temper. My brother had important work to do. He didn't have time for an ugly freak like you."
His words stung. So you were right. Dream had other things to do, couldn't make time to come see you. So why had he sent this... this...
"Who are you?"
"My name is Nightmare."
You could gather what his purpose was right from his name.
"Why did Dream send you?"
"I came to deliver a message; he's not coming. He won't come to see someone so low, someone so self-centered. You really thought he was going to drop everything just you come see you? You-"
The flurry of insults continued, and with each one you sunk lower and lower. You didn't deny any of his words. They were right. He was right, why would Dream ever...
You could feel the new negative thoughts spilling out of you, overflowing like the tears on your eyes. You thought that you should do something, say something back, turn and walk away, but it was like you were frozen there. Unable to move and incapable of getting away from his cutting words.
Nightmare was suddenly cut off by a strangled cry, and your head snapped up.
Dream stood there, facing his brother with a blaze in his eyes that you hadn't ever seen.
"You bastard."
Huh. You didn't take Dream for the swearing type.
"Look who finally showed up." Nightmare said with a sneer. "Guess he does pity you a little, huh? I'll bet he-"
He was cut off again as his brother shoved him back and held his hand out threateningly.
"Get out. You've caused enough damage here, told enough of your lies. Get out!"
"She's not worth protecting, If I were you-"
"I said GET OUT."
Nightmare glowered for a moment, then said to you, "Until we meet again, freak show."
With this final remark he vanished. The sky, however, did not return, the flowers remained wilted at your feet. You sank slowly to your knees, holding your arms tight around yourself like you could somehow hold the pain inside. Suddenly you felt a warm pair of arms wrap around you.
"I'm sorry I wasn't here. He stopped me from coming... he must have sensed negativity from you..." He tilted your head up slightly. "I'm sorry. Please... forgive me."
"He w-was right." you said quietly, in a voice barely above a whisper. "Everything he s-said was right."
Dream's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No! Don't listen to him. He feeds off bad feelings, bad emotions, he only told you those things for his own gain. But you're none of it!"
"How do you know? You've only ever seen me in my dreams, what if I look completely-"
Dream, with a regal sort of wave with his hand, summoned a small handheld mirror and gave it to you. "Look..."
You gazed into the mirror and saw... yourself, undoubtedly, but you were different. You're eyes had a sort of gleam to them, your skin was glowing.. you would have looked perfect if not for the tears on your cheeks.
The view in the mirror didn't make you feel better. "See? That's not what I look like. I only look like that here.. but I'm completely different! Ugly and-"
Dream kissed you. Hard enough to shut you up.
You made a small sound, but he didn't draw back until you absolutely had to breathe.
"Will you listen to me?" He pleaded. "Just for a little bit?"
Still reeling a bit from the kiss, you nodded.
"Here in this dreamworld, you look like you do through the world's eyes. Not through yours. What you would look like if every negative thought wasn't there to warp your view."
He smiled fondly. "That's what you look like to me."
"B-but-"
He shook his head and pulled you closer. "Put the negative thoughts out of your mind. Think of me... think of how much I care for you."
The world around you started to glow a little brighter as you listened to him.
"I was so angry when I found out what he'd done... I knew that I couldn't let him damage you, couldn't let him hurt you... but I'm here now. I'm here, and I love you."
A little brighter.
"You were always kind, always tried to do what was right. Your dreams were filled with happiness and laughter. I got to know you... I got to know you, and I loved you."
The sky above was a beautiful, airy blue. The flowers beneath were gold and blooming. Dream smiled brightly at you. "There... I won't let him hurt you again."
He pulled you flush against his chest in a tight hug, and you smiled. "You.. you love me?"
"I know that's odd, considering, but..."
"No.. no, that's okay. You were always there in my dreams. Always there to comfort me and make me happy." You smiled at him. "I.. I think I love you too."
There was nothing to compare to the bright look on his face as he kissed you again.
"We will go as slow as you need... but I'll always be here."
"Do you think... do you think that we could meet in real life?" You said. You had to know that he wasn't just something that you made up, something from your dreams...
He smiled softly. "That can be arranged."
Suddenly, you woke up.
The room was dimly lit, but... suddenly it glowed with a soft, yellow light. A sort of warmth filled the room as Dream moved to sit next to you.
"See? I'm real. And I'm yours, if you'll have me."
You nodded and he pulled you close to him.
You quietly leaned against him, finding comfort in his warm embrace. Here was someone who loved you, who sought to make you feel happy, who would keep the negativity away. And you loved him too.
When you glanced into the mirror at the far end of the room, you saw the same reflection of yourself that you had in your dreamworld. Uncorrupted, unwarped.
You smiled softly to yourself and drifted back to sleep in Dream's arms.
And he was waiting for you with that same quiet smile when you started dreaming again.
(A/N)
I can't tell if this is good or not, you'll have to tell me. Also, I take requests because why not. I'll write for Undertale and it's AUs, Markiplier egos, Hazbin Hotel and Helluva boss, among others. Cheers, and have a good day.
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fichtner-fics · 4 years ago
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Christmas Miracle (Alex Mahone)
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Warnings: none (besides some spoilers in the context describing, mention about family problems (just a few words)), in contrary TOO MUCH FLUFF AND CUTENESS OMG my heart just can’t take that
Context: So this is a bit out of the PB storyline. Cameron, Alex’s son is alive, but Pam is not in the picture at all. I didn’t exactly clarified, where she is or what has happened to her (she’s not necessarily dead), and from the point of this fic it doesn’t matter. What does matter: Cameron is five (just like in the serie), living with his dad, spending so much time with Y/N (who isn’t from the office, not even working in law-enforcement). And the rest is down there, I just wanted to explain the basics. 😊
A/N: So I thought it would be nice to surprise you with a little Christmassy-Mahone, with so much fluff, cuteness, love, joy, gingerbread and sparkles. This is the end result. ✨  (2298 words??? sorry I was just typing and suddenly it happened) (I’m already visualising a secod part of this, help, things started to get out of my control)
Originally I wanted to post this on the 22nd, BUT I JUST COULDN’T WAIT YOUR REACTIONS so tell me tell me whatever you think about this. 😭😭
I know this is quite early to say, but I want y’all to have yourself a very happy, merry, holy, jolly, fun Christmas, take care yourselves, and rest as much as you can. We all have things to recover from, so let this period be that recovery’s time. Thank you all for making my 2020 whole, giving me some light during these shadowy times. It is such an adventure which started this year. ❤
I know I have 2 requests pending, I’ll start the next year with them. Pinky promise!
[yeah, that’s Carl Hickman on the gif, but as I realized there’s no footage in the wide Internet of Mahone smiling so I had to improvise😆; gif’s from here, thank you!]
Alex and I were friends for such a long time. Though during his marriage we hadn’t seen each other as frequently, our friendship remained. What’s more, since they split up with Pam and he was left alone with his son, I was the first person he came to. I usually cooked them and spent so much time with the little boy. We grew closer and closer – with both of the boys. With Cameron in the sense of a mother-son relationship and with his father… well, I fell in love with him, and I was quite sure that he felt almost the same way. There was nothing on Earth I would enjoy more than our long nights with deep conversations and a cup of tea, which happened pleasantly often. We could talk about anything and everything, he shared with me all his ups and downs, everything at the office, in his (ended) marriage, and vice versa. I didn’t have a failed marriage to talk about, but given my drunk father, I had some things to share about as well. Long story short, basically we would just have to say things out loud to become a couple.
Given Alex had to work late (unfortunately) on the 25th of December, he asked me to look after Cameron, which I took happily. I already planned our whole day during the night before, so I arrived with decided plans at their house.
First things first, we of course bake some gingerbread to build a house. When finally it wasn’t hot, I put everything on the table and called Cameron. While I was gathering some tools missing, he took the plate in front of him.
“We won’t have anything left to build the house if you keep eating all those gingerbreads” I said laughing and messing up little Cameron’s hair. He giggled but kept chewing a gingerbread man’s leg. “And tell me” I asked, sitting on the chair next to him “what did you wrote on your list?”
While I was waiting for him to answer, I started to prepare the frosting and the tubes with coloured icing in them.
“I asked a huge… truck…” he said excitedly. “With a remote controller. And a toolbox for myself, because daddy has his own, and I want to help him repair things. And some Lego!”
“That’s amazing. You will have so much fun with these” I smiled at him. “Give me two sidewalls, please” I said after finishing the preparation of the necessities. It wasn’t the funniest part of making the house for a five-year-old, but I hoped that by involving Cameron in the process would cheer him a bit. I put some frosting on the sides of the gingerbread, then glued two pieces together.
“And I asked a gun, too” he said suddenly, while we were holding the pieces to stick. I laughed in surprise.
“Like daddy’s” I presumed.
“Yes” the little boy chuckled again. “To fight the bad guys, so daddy don’t have to do it alone. And you know what else?” he whispered, leaning close to my ear. His huge, brown eyes sparkled in excitement, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“What else?” I whispered back, pecking his cute cheeks.
“I asked for you to be my mommy” he said out finally, scanning my face just to see my reaction.
At first, I couldn’t find the words. Just in a half second all our shared little tender moments with Alex flew in front of my eyes and suddenly I was aching for his love even stronger. I was so in love with him, I would do anything to know he feels the same. And of course, I was fond of this little boy, too. I already imagined the tree of us being a real, whole family.
“Aww, you’re so sweet, darling” I hugged him finally. He put his little arms around my neck and hugged back tightly. Luckily the frosting between the two gingerbread parts was stiff enough now to stand alone. “That would be my best Christmas present, too” I said quietly.
After our little squeeze-session, Cam helped me piping frosting and icing, pouring sprinkles and gluing sweets on the gingerbread roof with some syrup. Of course, at the end he looked like he was the one who had been decorated, but it was nothing a solid wash wouldn’t fix.
Rest of the day passed by with playing, laughing, and while he had his daytime nap I rested too. When I noticed the snow started to fall, I got so excited for Cam to wake up and see it.
It was around 4pm when I heard some noise from his room, so I went to take a look. He was sitting up in his bed with cute messy hair and sleepy eyes.
“Good morning, my sweetheart” I whispered happily. I sat next to him on the bed, letting him to lay on my lap. I started to play with his soft hair. “Did you sleep well?” I murmured. He was to drowsy yet, but his waggish smile already sparkled on his face.
“Yes. And… I dreamt about stars and reindeers” he said after a yawn. “And you and daddy and I was playing in the snow, really.” 
“I’m so happy you dreamt these nice things” I smiled at him, gently touching his nose. Talking about it reminded me the fact that it was actually snowing outside.
“Hey, you want to see something amazing?” I asked after some minutes, leaving him stretching a bit and playing with his plush rabbit. When he agreed in a quiet, husky little voice, I took him, and we left the room.
Cameron stayed in my arms as we stood in front of the window in the living room. We were watching the silently falling, huge snow-petals. I was surprised that he didn’t change his mind after a few minutes and wanted to play or do anything else – he was unusually cuddly that day. He just leant to my chest with his thumb in mouth, breathing quietly while I was slowly rocking him. There were no lights on in the house besides the light garland’s yellow twinkle on the Christmas tree, which gave such a warmness to the room. It was just the two of us, the snow and the spirit of Christmas around us.
“Are you awake, honey?” I whispered, because I thought he fell back asleep. Feeling him nodding made me smile. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Can we go out for a walk?” he asked in a dreamy voice.
“We should wait for your dad to come home” I suggested. “If he arrives and it’s okay for him, we can go and check the Christmas lights in the street. How does it sound?” I placed a kiss in his hazel brown curls.
It was his first thing to ask when Alex entered the house a few hours later. He said yes of course, so we put on some warm clothes, and left. Cameron ran forward, leaving us slowly mooning behind him.
“Did your day went well?” Mahone asked quietly.
“Yeah” I looked at him. “We built a gingerbread house, which you could see only in its ruins, because Cam pretended to be a shark and… bite the roof off” I laughed. “We played hide and seek, drew some amazing pictures and while he took his nap, I finally finished my book.”
“I’m glad to hear” Alex nodded. As we walked, he suddenly offered me his arm. I glanced at him, and with cheeks turned into rose I accepted the gesture. “Thank you for being here for us” Alex whispered. “I have no idea what I would do without you. Truly.”
I smiled but remained silent, only fixing Cameron standing mesmerized in front of a huge, sparkling snowman statue. His words came up in my mind, and at that moment I decided not to let the moment go.
“Did he tell you what’s he wishing for?” I asked innocently.
“You mean the gun?” Alex burst out in laugh. “Yeah, well, he won’t get that one. Not yet” he shook his head. I refused the temptation of rolling my eyes.
“Mommy look” Cameron shouted when we finally reached where he stood. Timing is perfect, little guy, I thought myself.
“What did you say?” Alex asked immediately, astonished. I remained silent, curiously waiting for what was going to happen. “Since when do you call Y/N mom?”
“It’s a secret, dad” said the little boy. “Only Santa has to know, and mommy has to know” he added, while nodding seriously. Then he took my hand and started to pull me where he saw the thing he wanted to show me. Alex just frowned more, but this time looking at me, waiting for a proper answer.
“It’s on his list” I mouthed while smiling wide at the confused agent. I only hoped this is enough information him to understand the situation. Letting him go, I crouched next to Cameron, to look at a little sheep in a Nativity Scene he was excited about.
“Look at him, he’s so cute” I said kissing the little boy’s rosy, cold cheeks.
“Can we have one at home?” he looked at me. I chuckled and looked towards Mahone who stood a few steps behind us. His face surprised me. He was watching us so tenderly, with sparkling eye, slight smile glued on his lips. I felt my cheeks burn suddenly and I had to fall my eyes.
“I don’t think your dad would approve” I answered to Cam. “Go, have a look at Rudolph” I suggested, pointing towards an at least three metres tall, red reindeer-silhouette. The boy nodded, then he started running immediately.
“Don’t rush, son” Alex tried to calm him, without any effect at all of course. I stood up biting my lips, because I had no idea what the agent will say about what happened earlier. “So, what’s this between you two and Saint Nick?” he laughed as I took his arm again. We walked slow, so he could scan my face as I looked at him almost laughing in embarrassment.
“Cameron wants Santa to make me his mom” I replied shyly. “I think he wants him to be reminded. But as you heard, it’s a secret, so I shouldn’t have told this to you.”
“This means I have to wrap you and place under our tree?” he asked. I heard on his voice that he was playing. If it wasn’t for his arm, I’d fly away by happiness for sure.
“Why, do you think it’s a wish so easy to make come true?” I teased back.
“Well, this is Santa Claus we’re talking about. He can do anything” he looked at me, smiling wide.
Suddenly I felt myself ran out of words. These past three minutes made me fall for Mahone even harder, but I couldn’t imagine what was going to happen. I pulled him closer, and in the same moment he lifted his other hand to fold on mine. When I looked at him in surprise, I found his wondrously blue, sparkly eyes already fixing me. He smiled at me, and I suddenly got sure about the meaning of the word ‘Christmas miracle’.
We remained silent until finally reaching Cameron, who basically looked around in the whole street while we walked slowly after him. When he noticed us, hugged our legs.
“Hey baby” I ran through my fingers in the boy’s hair.
“Aren’t you cold, buddy? Can we go home now, you saw everything?” Alex asked.
“Yes” Cameron nodded looking up at his father, but he suddenly froze. “Look daddy, mistletoe!” he pointed above us. And he was right. We stood right under the huge reindeer, who has a great deal of mistletoe hanging in his neck. I laughed out loud, shaking my head. This only could happen in movies.
“Do you know what it means, Cam?” Alex asked his boy but smirking at me. He shook his head. “We all can wish something” Alex explained, awfully misinterpreting the whole thing. I curiously watched them, my eyes jumping from one to the other, and I couldn’t believe what Mahone was doing. “But we must close our eyes, otherwise it won’t come true” he warned his son. “I count to three, then everybody shuts their eye, okay?”
“Okay, daddy” Cameron replied, then he lifted his hands, ready to place them in front of his face. When Alex counted three and Cam covered his face, we looked at each other, and within a split second he placed his cold lips upon mines. I felt him cupping my cheeks and I pulled him closer by his waist. He let me go after a little while, but before he would completely pull away, he whispered just on my lips:
“I love you.”
“I love you too” I breathed back. Suddenly we heard Cameron bursting out in chuckling. When we looked at him, he stretched up his arms towards me, giving a sign he wants to be taken up.
“And I love you so much too” I squeezed him after lifting him in my arms, making Cam laugh even louder.
“What’s so funny, little man?” Alex asked smiling as well. He stood next to me so close, resting his hand on my waist. I looked aside at him, just to see the joy in his eyes.
“I peeked” Cameron giggled with his little hand in front of his mouth. He was so sweet I almost couldn’t bear.
“You were so fast making your wish” I said pretending some surprise. Alex laughed through his nose.
“Because I knew what I wanted to wish” the little boy rolled his eyes. “But you didn’t wish. I saw” he stated.
“What makes you think we didn’t wish?” his father asked.
“Bec…” he yawned just in the middle of his sentence. “Because you kissed Y/N, so you didn’t have time for… wishing” he grimaced by pulling up his nose impishly.
“Hey, I made one” I said while nodding. “Did you make one?” I looked at Alex.
“Of course, I did. And you know what? It came real immediately” he added, looking straight into my eyes. Cameron gasped in surprise, and Alex pressed a soft kiss on my temple.
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bimbosupreme · 3 years ago
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Hey, it's anon again. I've been really moved by your post, thanks to you and pearl-princess who drew the lovely picture! (There's so much depth to both Douman and Limbo. But all my acquiantances see is creepy horny man. They also say they're ugly.) Seeing blogs like yours always cheer me up, knowing that I'm not the only one who's obsessed with this dumb clown (affectionate) <3
Long response under the cut!
You sent this a while back & I still find myself struggling to even phrase the gratitude I feel reading your words. And I don’t want u waiting forever for a response on something u wrote super wholeheartedly so I’m just gonna ad lib a response as is and hope it’s sufficient
Limbo is an obsession of mines thanks to how well written they are and heian kyo kind of cements it, theres sooo much depth, i usually joke “they’re everything at once” and by that I mean a nice guy a bad guy an evil guy a good guy a confident guy an insecure guy. Etc all at the same time, I can’t wait until NA catches up so I can fully read translated heian kyo and lose my mind once I read the events I caught in snippets here and there about douman
AND I MEAN... yeah he’s creepy I will admit because douman kinda goes hand in hand with horror related things and that’s just due to how their nature is lol they’re creepy in how they act and I LOVE that so ur acquaintance aren’t 100% off with that assumption, and his final ascension .... he may be .. yeah I think he’s horny for sure there ... and he’s always screaming about ... honeydew when he’s injured thats a voice line when he’s damaged.,,, um.. there’s also his hedonism passive, that could just be pleasure tho right I don’t wanna say it’s ALL horny stuff but it’s certainly there to a degree lol
THEYRE WRONG ABOUT THE UGLY THO. I THINK HES BEAUTIFUL. The game even calls him beautiful carnivore, musashi trips up when she sees them because they’re HOT, i think ur friends simply refuse to admit it !!! Hmph!!!! I also think maybe they find the clothes and hair off putting but I swear if u dressed him up normal and gave him a normal ass haircut he looks like any other hot big pec anime dude
BUT THE MAIN THING THAT I WAS STRUGGLING TO RESPOND TO WAS YOU SAYING THAT BLOGS LIKE MINES MAKE U HAPPY
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Thank you so much! I’ve mentioned this in previous asks to other ppl but it really needs to be reiterated that I’m nothing but extremely pleased to know that me doing my little clown doodles and uploading them can translate into making some strangers happy and *squints & readjusts glasses* you said “cheer you up” oh my that’s a lot of praise I wasn’t ready for uh uh um um that certainly seems like a powerful emotion to generate and a positive one at that, I’m literally sitting here drawing some clowns & u just point at me and go “that’s the shit I’m talking about” while I’m sitting there w my mouth agape & drooling & all my processing power is occupied by douman thoughts —— anyways !!!!!!!!!!! Douman fans are out there anon we out here (Pearl princess is one, general gray is another u can talk to — we often examine every single spoiler on douman with Extreme scrutiny all the time lol, my homie vampireadjacent is a douman fan, there’s a lot and I mean a LOT of douman artists on twitter especially on the jp side) he’s like. Very crazy popular on the jp side of fgo fandom things, I mean hell me & someone tried ordering official douman keychains when they came out and those damn things sold out in less than a day , so it shouldn’t be long until douman gets a figurine at which point I will be ready to trade blood for um I went off a tangent again, anyways anon main thing is thank you for sending such nice words in my direction and at me,
I was explaining to a friend that sometimes I hesitate to post drawings or explore more horror themes with douman and post those but honestly all this, support??? Um I guess the Positive Response I’m getting lately to my drawings regarding douman & horror things is leaving me feeling more confident to keep trying and push the boundaries more lol not that I need approval to post such things but it’s nice knowing “it’s ok” and now I have the knowledge that it “cheers someone up” like what do I even say to that goddamn that’s cool I can be that person for u, feeling honored over here teehee
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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
This response was much longer than intended anon & I apologize for that but yeah I can’t believe a fucking mobile game character got me acting up and none of my fgo friends understand and I have to be like well u gotta play this dog shit mobile game and read all of doumans lines and ,,, ok another tangent lol let me stop anyways anon thank you I’m eternally grateful and ur words are gonna stick w me And I’ll use them as reference for when I feel bad to be like damn I cheered them up that one time whewwww 😭💖🥰😳
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emerald-echeveria-plant · 3 years ago
Text
[Part 3 of ???]
The Lost Civilization
//Baozhai is doodling in a notebook. She drew a picture of the stranger aka Flint with little hearts draw around him.//
Baozhai, sighs in admiration: you're the most handsome man I've ever seen..
Cletus: Why thank you! I always did fancy myself as good-looking.
Baozhai, glares at Cletus: Not you! I'm talking about the stranger I saw from yesterday..
Cletus: Which one?
Baozhai: The handsome one..~
Cletus: ...
Cletus: Erik?
Baozhai: no!
Cletus: Sao?
Baozhai: No... The one that I felt I had a close connection to..
Cletus: Oooh! I know who you're talking about... The Captain is gonna be real mad if he finds out you're attracted to Haggis.
Baozhai: WHAT?! NO! NOT HIM! GROSS DEFINITELY NOT HIM!
Cletus: Well, then who is it?
Baozhai: I don't really know his name..
Cletus: If you don't know who the fuck it is, how am I supposed to know??
Baozhai, frustrated as hell by this point but somehow manages to stay calm: I'm talking about the guy that... Punched me in the face..
Cletus: Oooh... I already knew that I was just fucking with ya' *snickers*
//Baozhai punches Cletus in the stomach. Cletus falls the floor. He groans in pain as he clenches his stomach. Noëmie walks up to Baozhai and lightly taps her shoulder.//
Noëmie: Um.. Baozhai?
Baozhai, turns to Noëmie and annoyed: What do you want Noëmie?
Noëmie: I know almost everyone you talked to about your love interest isn't going to well... But uh, maybe the next time you see him, try to, I dunno... Get to know him more and tell him about yourself..?
Baozhai: ...
Baozhai: Noëmie... did you just give me advice about love?
Noëmie: Um, I think so..?
Baozhai: ...
Noëmie: ...
//Baozhai hugs Noëmie and twirls her around in her arms.//
Baozhai: Noëmie, you're a genius! That's a wonderful idea!
Noëmie: oh my, well, thank you!
Baozhai: Yes, I'll charm him! Flatter him! Make him mine! And if he doesn't accept it... I'LL RIP OUT HIS SPINE, GOUGE HIS EYES WITH A RUSTY NAIL, AND-
Noëmie, cutting her off: How about you don't do any of that brutalizing stuff..
Baozhai, genuinely confused: Why..?
Noëmie: Well if you love someone, you can't threaten them with violence and maiming. Especially when they don't accept your feelings.
Baozhai: Then, what do I do..?
Noëmie: Cry it out, accept thats how they feel, and move on.
Baozhai: That sounds good.. but what if I keep bothering him-
Noëmie: what-
Baozhai: keep professing my love to him-
Noëmie: wait-
Baozhai: and I'll make him mine..! I am such a genius!
Noëmie: Please don't do any of that..
Baozhai: Don't worry Noëmie, I won't do any of that unless he loves me back. You have nothing to fear! Because I am the master of charm 😏 oh! I better go practice putting on makeup.. since I don't really know how.
//Baozhai runs off to another part of the ship.//
Noëmie: ...
Noëmie, shakes head: This is going to end horribly.. I just know it is.
Islay, walking up behind her: You really shouldn't have said those things. Don't ya' realize the captain will take issue with her falling for one of Haggis's crewmates???
Noëmie: Oh dear! How could I forget their fueding..! I hope this infatuation is minor with Baozhai. Who knows what'll happen if the stranger falls in love with her too!
Islay: oh please, you don't need to worry about that. Baozhai has the literal sex appeal of a boat crash. It looks terrible but you just can't look away. I don't mean to insult her but it is true. Can't see any men or women falling in love with her personality or looks. And knowing Baozhai, she's going to do something stupid and dangerous to get his affection.
Noëmie: I mean she is rather distasteful at times but I wouldn't call her that...
Islay: This better not cause any issues. The captain already has enough on his plate with Haggis nearly killing him. But if it does, this'll be on your hands for getting those ideas into her head!
Noëmie: okay..
//Islay goes to help Cletus off the ground. She puts the injured man over her shoulder and proceeds to walk towards the hold. Leaving Noëmie alone on the deck. The dark grey canid poundered for a bit.//
Noëmie: I mean, it's not like Haggis and his crew are following us... Right..?
//And Noëmie couldn't have been more wrong. Because in fact, they were following right behind them... On Haggis's ship, they managed to fix up the hole that Bonnet had caused previously. Haggis was still pissed that Bonnet did that to his ship. He was getting revenge and they were going to pay with their blood. As Haggis navigated the ship, on the deck were Flint and Billy, swabbing the deck.//
Billy, looked over to Flint: So, you and that loony crewmate of Bonnet's... Kinda odd that they stared at you for a pretty long time.
Flint: Mhm.
Billy: ...
Billy: Not gonna say anything about that?
Flint: Whatever happened between me and that man was minor. So, no, I don't have anything to say about it.
Billy: Flint... That was a woman.
Flint, stops swabbing and looks at Billy: what?
Billy: That was a woman. That you also happened to punch. In the face.
Flint: Oh... Well, too late to take it back now.
//Flint walked towards the bucket of water. As he went to dip the mop into the bucket of water, Erik stepped in front of the path of the cabin boy.//
Erik: Hello Flinty~!
Flint: Erik. How disappointing to see you.
Erik: Oh you're such a charmer! Wonder if your little girlfriend thinks so too! *Chuckles*
Flint: What the hell are you taking about?
Erik: Heh, You think nobody noticed you and that little wench making goo-goo eyes at each other?? Because boy, everyone's been talkin about it!
Flint: First of all, he's- I mean, she's not my girlfriend. And secondly, I wasn't making "goo-goo" eyes at anyone. Especially towards someone who looks like they got their nose done by the front door.
Erik: hmm.. well, it'd be a real shame if someone told the captain about those rumors about you and that girl.. and told him they were true. Meaning you'd get punished some more for coercing with the enemy..😏
Flint, rolls his eyes: you want something don't you. Of course you do, I already know you too well... Now tell me what is it???
Erik, grinning: Give me half of yer loot when we find the treasure and I'll keep my mouth shut.
Flint: what if we don't find the treasure??
Erik: Then, I guess I'll have to tell the captain. Too bad you've barely gained his trust from the time you spent on this ship..
Flint: Just in case you didn't know, I loathe everything about you.
Erik, chuckles: Hehe, I know. So do we have a deal..?
Flint, sighs: what other choice do I even have..
Sao, interrupting their conversation: LAND HO!
//The crewmates put their attention forward. A few miles away from them was a planet with lush jungles and plants. Beaches with golden sand with oceans that seem so crystal clear you can see right through them. Not too far in a distance were tall golden buildings, along with statues of different deities. The ship came to a stop, landing near the sandy beaches.//
Captain Haggis, shocked: I can't believe it..
Sao: what is it captain..?
Captain Haggis: Don't you see it... This is the lost civilization of the Paititi! A city that has tons of gold hidden somewhere to prevent colonizers from stealing it..
//Haggis looks through a telescope. He looked towards where Bonnet's ship had landed. He saw Bonnet, what looked like giving his crew orders. Bonnet then pulled out several maps and passed them out to each of his crewmates. Haggis chuckled darkly.//
Captain Haggis: Too bad the "gentleman pirate" and his crew won't be as much as getting a dabloon of that treasure.. Sao, round up the crew and get them ready. I'm making sure they don't leave this place... Alive.
Sao: Yes Captain! Right away!
//Sao made her way down towards where the rest of the crewmates were.//
Sao: Alright everyone, Captain says to get ready.. we're going treasure hunting!
//The crew cheered with joy. Some lifting their swords and flintlock pistols in the air.
Meanwhile on Bonnet's ship, he finished giving out the maps to the rest of his crew.//
Captain Bonnet: Alright with these maps we can all split up into two pairs. They show where hidden booby traps are and how to get to the treasure.
Ironbeard: this all seems like a good idea captain but uh, why are you splitting us up into pairs exactly..?
Captain Bonnet: Because I think I'd be a much more quick and efficient way to do so! And also the twins have been freaking me out lately..
//Ironbeard and Bonnet turn their heads towards the Solace twins. The twins slowly crept their heads towards the rest of the the crewmates. They were holding hands and were side by side to each other. Their eyes looked soulless as they stared at the others.//
Solace twins: A horrible fate awaits to whoever dares to awake the beast's slumber from inside the depths of hell and they'll bring misfortune and misery if awoken.
Ironbeard: ...
Ironbeard: Yeah I guess I can see why.
((Bonnet, Baozhai, Noëmie, Cletus, Islay, and the Solace twins belong to me!
Haggis, Sao, and Erik belong to @chaossmith2))
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