#i feel okay sometimes and i tell my friends about it i'm like yeah it's bad but i don't FEEL too sad about it
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coraniaid · 7 hours ago
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I think I can, if I try, just about persuade myself that Xander and Jesse were friends.
Partly because the ways in which Jesse behaves unpleasantly [his treatment of women who aren't attracted to him, his obvious self-hatred about being " a loser" who nobody wants to date; various lines that were presumably written as jokes but just come across as disproportionately mean-spirited insults] echo the ways Xander himself is also sometimes (to a lesser extent) unpleasant (especially in the first two seasons of the show). In both cases, I suspect the writers didn't quite realize how badly the character was coming across (doesn't Joss Whedon say in the DVD commentaries that some of the way Jesse behaves around Cordelia is based on things Whedon himself did as a teenager? which suggests a certain obliviousness about precisely how sympathetic this behaviour actually is).
Also, well, because you can maybe assume that Jesse is going through a (non-supernatural version) of what happens to Xander in The Pack (in that he's "turning into a sixteen year old boy", as Giles puts it) and that he didn't use to be quite so unbearable to be around (or so obsessed with Cordelia). And because the closest that Jesse ever comes to being sympathetic is when he tells Buffy he wants her to feel at home "unless you have a scary home", which -- if you try really, really hard -- you can maybe tie into the (later) implications we get about Xander's own home life [and hence conclude that on some level Jesse is aware of and sympathetic to the reality that some people -- people like Xander in particular -- do have "scary homes"].
But Willow? President of the "We hate Cordelia" Club Willow? Shy and soft-spoken computer loving nerd Willow? "I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world before he notices me" Willow? Yeah, it just doesn't make sense to me at all that she and Jesse would be friends. The only thing they have in common is hanging out with Xander.
Actually, I'm not sure there is a point in either of the first two episodes in which Jesse or Willow refer to the other as a friend, is there? Or even hang out together except at school with Xander? They both get captured by vamps while at the Bronze on the same night, but they weren't there together. Willow tells Buffy in Welcome to the Hellmouth that she's in the Bronze because she "thought Xander was going to show up ... we're just friends", and in The Harvest Giles will tell Xander that, when he sees Jesse again, he won't be "looking at your friend". And vamp!Jesse will address Xander as "buddy". But Willow never calls Jesse a friend, that I can remember.
After Jesse is captured Willow talks about "wanting to help [Buffy]", but she doesn't show any real concern for Jesse himself. In fact, when Buffy goes to try to rescue him, and Xander is about to talk himself into chasing after her, Willow reassures him that "Buffy'll be okay". Not Jesse, but Buffy. And what's her immediate reaction to Buffy and Xander coming back and telling her that Jesse is something "worse than dead"? She says "at least you two are okay". And that's it, that's the whole of her reaction. Xander tells vamp!Jesse he's sorry and gets angry and talks about disliking vampires, but -- even in an episode were Jesse's death is acknowledged -- we never seen any emotional response to his death from Willow. She reacts far more to the death of Cordelia's boyfriend Kevin in Prophecy Girl, and Kevin is a character who (1) only exists for one episode and (2) Willow herself never interacts with.
So, yes, it rather beggars belief that Willow would be friends with Jesse and I don't think there's any on-screen evidence that they actually are friends in any real way. I don't think Willow would even hang out with Jesse between classes at school if he wasn't with Xander.
obviously the out-of-universe explanation for why jesse's name is never mentioned again after "the harvest" is that (a) while joss was tickled by the idea of immediately killing off a character he had set up to appear important, he had no desire to make a show with the dynamic of 'the hero and her two friends who are in mourning and traumatized over the death of their third friend who the hero failed to save', and also (b) the writers forgot he existed. but in-universe, given how many times it would have made sense and been in character for xander and/or willow to bring him up (such as in wacky stories from their childhood, or times when they are throwing buffy's failures in her face), i am forced to conclude that the reason jesse is never mentioned again is because neither of them actually liked him very much. he was just unpopular because he is unpleasant and so they let him hang out with them because they were unpopular too. but secretly they were kind of a bit relieved when he died because, well, he sucked and they didn't like him. and i'm sure they felt guilty about being relieved. but that didn't change the fact that they were. which is why neither of them ever mentions him again and never will
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monstermoviedean · 2 months ago
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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moinsbienquekaworu · 2 years ago
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The struggle between being happy that all kinds of aspecs are talking about aspec experiences more and barely being able to stand the way people talk about aspec experiences
#i don't know how to say it but like. i'm aro and i hate how nobody ever. talks about us except us#if i was the type of person who comes out and if i didn't already need a powerpoint to explain asexuality#i'd start telling people i'm aro and not aroace#like just. the way i feel towards both alloallos & alloaces who try but fail at being inclusive....#towards alloace and sometimes aroace communities & the way they are & act....#legit making me think about identifying as like. non sam aro or something#yeah technically i'm asexual but i'm going to take that word away from everyone#my allo friends are trying bless their heart but they DO NOT GET IT!!!!#they're trying and they're FAILING!!! BADLY!!!!#i understand people who use certain sets of pronouns but only with specific people. holy shit#like if i see one more time that asexuality means not being interested in relationships.#if my friends ask me and only me if i'm comfortable with a sex discussion when i am participating in it#if i get told 'no bitches!! :D' as a pride thing ONE MORE TIME#i'm sorry if you're seeing that m btw. on the infinitesimal chance you do see it. it's not against you it's my aro rage#i just. i'm not ace and then aro as an afterthought.#i'm ARO and eventually if it comes up i'm ace#'oh but no bitches isn't necessarily about sex it can also be about relationships'#yeah okay. well. i'm interested in both of those. i do want bitches. not like allos but i'm not signing up to be a nun here.#the flattening of the aspec experience to 'asexual and possibly aromantic' is making me want to tear things apart with my teeth#hate hate hate hate#and let's not forget adolescent romances. listen. i'm a teenager and i love romance#but all the stuff where the 17yo alloace teen feels broken and ends up dating a comprehensive partner......#i keep seeing it like you see the fin of a shark. and that's already more than i can stand#i'm happy it's resonating with people but it's exactly as insipid as bland straight love songs to me#anyway. i didn't get everything i wanted out but i chipped away at it.#wow i have a ramble tag now
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linalilia · 2 years ago
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Now you have to tell me which one of your Milgram ocs you kin! XD
honestly, ALL OF THEM JSKDKLSLSLS. no i really do find all of them extremely relatable (yes even the sanada brothers) and i think all of them have at least one personality trait of mine?
but if i had to choose, i think i'd go with shun, riku and the hunger pair?
shun, because that's kind of a given, mahiru is my strongest milgram kin after all sjsdksklsl (her t2 interrogation made me realize that we're even more similar than i thought too..). um. well, my memory is not great and my brain likes to make me forget about the things that i find stressful, sometimes it's hard for me to tell what's real and what's not and we both like to think of reality as something better than it really is ("I want to forget this boring real world, it's nothing but disappointment. I prefer the fake world I've created in my head"). also i should mention that i relate only to his t1 and pre-milgram version I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH HIS T2 VERSION THAT MAN IS NOBODY TO ME
riku, because, uh. both of us like to put the others' needs first and end up getting angry at both ourselves and others because of that and also ngl i kinda wrote his relationship with his childhood friend based on my personal experiences? riku also often tends to overwork himself and forget about his own health and needs and yeah, i can relate to that. (also fun fact: idk if i mentioned this before, but i remember getting the same mbti type as him before i started getting intp when i took mbti tests?)
and the reason why i relate to the hunger pair so much is mostly because of my upbringing, because yeah, i'm an only child and i'm still kinda spoiled so :'D i'm not a rich kid at all though, but most people assume i am when they meet me?? 😭😭 like, because of my personality and all, like people say that i have this rich kid/royal vibe all the time sdjdsksls and yeah, i share a lot of personality traits with them too
also i kinda kin the third guard
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anaalnathrakhs · 9 months ago
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turns out actions have consequences and i can't just act mentally ill around people five days a week and expect them not to be miffed with me at least a little bit :)
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astonmartinii · 10 months ago
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it must be a sign | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x fem deaf! red bull engineer!reader
when the two most unbothered people in the paddock combine their joint powers to be the it couple
request sent by the lovely @bibissparkles xx
author's note: heyyy so many of you won't know but i am actually deaf - i am 50% deaf in both ears and wear hearing aids so i love requests like this! (all i do most of this stuff as a deaf person, turning off your hearing aids >)
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 302,446 others
yourusername: you can't complain about the dutch national anthem when you can just turn your hearing aids off
view all comments
user1: the way max's engineer is as sick of that damn song as us
user2: turning off her hearing aids makes how bored she looks during podiums make sense
yourusername: it was a banger during the mercedes dominance but would it kill someone to play the australian anthem
danielricciardo: i knew you missed me
yourusername: sure, jan.
user3: her and max signing slay to each other will always be so personal to me
maxverstappen1: gonna pretend you didn't just say that
yourusername: boo hoo babe, you gotta lose something sometimes
user4: babe? are the flowers from max?
maxverstappen1: would rather choke on my own spit and fall into a pit of snakes, hope this helps ❤️
yourusername: rude! i wouldn't want flowers from you either :(
user5: i swear we get into this argument every weekend, i think people will still assume they're together until their married to other people
liamlawson30: stop using me as a messenger pigeon please and thank you
yourusername: but i thought red bull gave you wings?
liamlawson30: do not use a pr answer against me 🤨
yourusername: no comment
liamlawson30: choke.
yourusername: idk what's going on in the red bull junior academy but spit in helmut's coffee not mine
user6: y/n consistently giving all the red bull guys shit is my favourite thing ever
user7: the amount of times the sky broadcast has caught her waving them off or taking her hearing aids out lol
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oscarpiastri
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 782,309 others
oscarpiastri: switched four tyres for two this weekend
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user11: you can't distract us with your slutty bike pics WHO THE FUCK IS THAT
landonorris: A WOMAN? A WOMAN? IS THAT A WOMAN OSCAR JACK PIASTRI?
oscarpiastri: yeah i'm pretty sure
landonorris: don't play smart with me buster - why was i not informed?
oscarpiastri: i don't ask to be informed of every time you get rejected in the instagram dms
landonorris: FAKE NEWS
oscarpiastri: okay buddy
user12: i be seeing the sign language book, oscar you are so real for that
user13: that's my king, i need a oscar and y/n link up in the paddock - my unbothered queens
user14: she's in the likes !!!!!!
logansargent: oh we've entered the soft launch phase i see
oscarpiastri: and what?
logansargent: someone is feeling defensive this morning, dude i won't tell i've already kept it a secret for so long
landonorris: HE KNOWS? DOES BEING YOUR TEAMMATE MEAN NOTHING?
oscarpiastri: he's my childhood best friend?
logansargent: there's levels to this game norris
landonorris: @oscarpiastri consider yourself UNDER SURVEILLANCE
oscarpiastri: okay girly
user15: oscar has the patience of a saint, the mystery gal may want to rethink it before having to deal with them all
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 381,044 others
yourusername: unrelaxed, unbothered, moisturised ✨
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user18: queen SHIT THAT AIN'T SHIT
user19: but this mystery man IS
maxverstappen1: yeah sorry about that... but at least boyfy has made his instagram debut?
yourusername: about time, he's too sexy to gatekeep
maxverstappen1: well i'm not going to agree out of respect for you
yourusername: so you don't think he's sexy? i might not be able to hear but HE CAN MAX BE NICE
maxverstappen1: first of all it's a text, second of all i've been way too nice to him
yourusername: he beat you in padel fair and square you're just SHIT AT IT ❤️
maxverstappen1: you know that's a sore subject WHY WOULD YOU BRING IT UP
user20: my queen was really like you wanna tell me to fuck off? oh here's my sexy boyfriend
user21: jos verstappen really didn't know who he was tangling with that gal may be chill but she doesn't take shit
user22: she's like a female version of oscar lol
user23: i knew there was a reason i liked her
this comment was liked by yourusername
danielricciardo: why am i left out of everything these days?
yourusername: snooze you lose
danielricciardo: I AM AWAKE REPLY TO MY TEXTS
danielricciardo: I JUST SAW YOU PUT YOUR PHONE ON DO NOT DISTURB
yourusername: protecting my peace
danielricciardo: i'm on to you buster
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oscarpiastri
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liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,209,455 others
tagged: yourusername
oscarpiastri: overjoyed to get my first (proper) win in formula one and even more overjoyed to have my amazing girlfriend (and even better engineer) up on the podium with me
view all comments
user27: so this was the special occasion?
user28: so this is why she said she wanted the australian national anthem over the dutch one?
user29: this is now my roman empire
yourusername: babe is so fucking good and i'm so fucking proud
oscarpiastri: i'm so glad to have been able to share this moment with you
yourusername: you deserve this and more, i love you
oscarpiastri: i love you too xx
user30: wait so oscar knows so much more sign language than i thought
user31: he looked so excited and even mark knows some
logansargent: he forced (we were happy to do so) me, mark and his family to learn as soon as he secured the date lol
oscarpiastri: and now we're all so cool because of it
logansargent: cool and able to chat shit without people knowing what we're saying
yourusername: best bit about it tbf (everyone please learn, it's a beautiful language)
landonorris: I KNEW IT
oscarpiastri: no you didn't
landonorris: no i didn't :( i'm hurt
oscarpiastri: if it's any consolation, we didn't tell many people, max and logan are exceptions
landonorris: WHY WAS I NOT AN EXCEPTION???
yourusername: boo hoo
landonorris: i'm not gonna say anything back to that you kinda scare me
yourusername: good ❤️
yourusername
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, oscarpiastri and 529,778 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & oscarpiastri
yourusername: me and a racewinner (and our world champion third wheel)
view all comments
user32: fave trio in the paddock no competition
logansargent: logan erasure
yourusername: we love you logan, sunday roast at mine this weekend ❤️
logansargent: SCORE
user33: every time you post there's a new plushie
yourusername: we usually get one to commemorate a big weekend and we both got one for osc's first win
user34: that's so FUCKING CUTE
oscarpiastri: it's all fun and games until you don't fit in the bed because y/n feels too bad to put any of them on the floor
yourusername: they have FEELINGS OSCAR
oscarpiastri: she cried one time when max set off the smoke alarm cooking breakfast and the bed alarm shook so bad that all of them were thrown to the floor
yourusername: it was HARROWING but it also did wake me up so at least we know it works
maxverstappen1: actually my favourite couple to third wheel, but enjoy it while it's here osc, i won't lose again
yourusername: yeah sorry osc it's actually my job to help max win so you're gonna have to wait for him to retire if i have anything to do with it
oscarpiastri: not even for me :(
yourusername: sorry not sorry (i'm really sorry, i love you so much)
oscarpiastri: i love you too even if you won't sabotage max for my race :(
maxverstappen1: okay i know i said you guys are cute but that's enough for today
yourusername: we ARE cute thank you
oscarpiastri: the CUTEST
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fin.
note: heheheheh i hope you enjoyed this, i love requests like this xx also on the comment about the bed alarm i had one in uni halls and when the alarm went off that baby SHOOK it was kinda scary
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chaussetteblanche · 3 months ago
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and they were roommates pt. 3
pairing : Spencer Reid x fem!student!roommate!reader summary : life on campus with a killer on the loose, the FBI makes an arrest word count : 2k warning : canon-typical violence, swear words (one use of the f-word) A/N : thank you so so much for all the love on this story !!! I'm so glad you all enjoy it <333 I'll probably do a part 4, it may be the last part, idk yet :)
part 1, part 2, part 4
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"Spencer, I realise your concern, but lots of women look somewhat like this." It wasn't lost on Spencer what Hotch was trying to do by calling by his first name. "Hotch, she- she could be right next to them. She fits his type right down to the colour of her eyes!" "Spencer, man, you need to think rationally." Derek placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Lots of women have that hair colour and length, it's in style right now, right Emily?" "Yeah, definitely." "Look, I just- I need to make a call."
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When Spencer had called you sometime in the evening, you'd been expecting him to tell you he was going to come home late and to not wait up for him. What you weren't expecting was for his voice to be the most serious and stern you'd ever heard it. "Don't go outside until I come home, okay?" He knew it was entirely irrational. The unsub only took women in broad daylight, you weren't facing any more risks than usual. But he couldn't take a chance. Not with this. Not with you. "What? Why?" "Just- I'll explain everything when I come home, I'll be there in a couple hours, but please, don't leave the apartment. And make sure everything is locked." "Spencer, what's going on?" "Can you just-" He paused, forcing himself to remain calm. "Look, do as I say, please. I'll explain everything later, I promise." You hesitated for a moment. Luckily for you, you weren't working at the bar tonight. Luckily for Spencer, you liked him enough to indulge him. "Okay." "Thank you."
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"Oh my God, no, absolutely not!" "Y/N, it's for your safety, don't you understand that?!" "My safety? What about my life?"
This was the first real fight you'd ever had. You'd had disagreements, of course, he didn't like you leaving your empty cups and glasses all over the place. You told him off for waking you in the morning by making too much noise. Sometimes you'd get jealous if Geoffrey slept in Spencer's bed rather than yours. Yes, you'd had your fair share of arguments, but none quite like this.
"I'm not asking you to give up your life, you're being totally-" You scoffed loudly, interrupting him. "Spencer, you might as well! Do you realise what you're suggesting I do? You want me to give up on going outside, not go to any of my classes, not see any of my friends, not go to work, don't you see what bullshit that is? It's putting a cross on my social life, my education and my work!" You gesticulated angrily as you speak, feeling heat rising to your face. "I already told you, it's for your own safety." He sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He wasn't even looking at you. A tiny, tiny piece of you wanted to slap him. "I will not stop living my life because some psycho thinks it's fun to kill innocent girls! I won't!" You crossed your arms over your chest and resisted the urge to stomp your foot.
"You're being incredibly childish right now." You hated how he managed to stay calm. You wanted him to get just as angry as you were, livid even. It wasn't fair that you were the only one getting upset. "Are you making all the girls who look like me give up everything for the sake of their safety?" Your tone was mocking and mean but you didn't have it in you to care at the moment. He met your eyes at last, lips turned downwards into a frown. Finally, some sort of emotion. "Don't do that, Y/N," he warned in a low voice. "No, I think it's a valid question. Is your boss making an announcement to the press that all the girls in Mary Washington University who look like the three last girls should stay inside? Is he?" you pushed. Spencer looked away from you again, shaking his head in disbelief at your attitude. "No, he isn't."
"Then why do you expect me to do that?!" You threw your hands in the air, beyond frustrated. For a logical person, Spencer's behaviour wasn't making any sense at the moment. "I don't expect you to do it. I want you to do it, I need you to do it." You could feel his calm facade breaking, piece by piece. "Why, Spencer, fucking why?!" "Because!" He finally exploded, jumping to his feet and slapping his palms onto the table. You didn't jump. "Because it's you, Y/N! I can't work this case if I know you're in danger every single day! If I know yours could be the next dead body students ogle at on the university's front lawn! If I know it's your picture they're going to hang up next to the other victims! I just can't do it!"
Oh.
You let yourself fall down on the couch, running your hands over your face. You were both stepping into uncharted territory. You'd tip-toed this line before but had never crossed it yet. And this was not the way to do it. You were not going to cross the border from friendship into something more by screaming at each other. Spencer seemed to read your silence as distress.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." He softly trudged over to the couch and sat down next to you. "No, it's okay, I- I kind of wanted you to. I'm sorry for getting so upset." You take his hand in your lap and intertwine your fingers. "I understand, I'm asking too much of you, it's selfish." He gives your hand a squeeze. "I just can't stand the thought of anything happening to you." You sit in silence for a little while, processing.
"I just can't hide while I wait for other girls to be killed, Spencer, it wouldn't be fair." Sometimes, Spencer hated how good of a person you were. If your morals and personal ethics were some of the things he liked about you the most, he couldn't help but curse them in this moment. "I don't care about fair," he mumbled, hating how puerile he sounded. You cooed and laid your head on his shoulder. "I know, I'm sorry."
"I won't promise you anything, but I'll try to always be with someone around campus. I'm usually with my friends anyway. And I can share my location with you all the time if that's reassuring for you." "I'd like that, thank you. And... what about when you're at work?" "I can ask Paul to walk me to my car." Paul was the manager at the bar you worked at, Quantequila. His past was a mysterious blend of prison, MMA fighting and crochet clubs. He liked you plenty and you knew he wouldn't mind walking you to your car for a while. "Thank you."
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Over the next week, you did just that. Many students started moving in groups and avoiding being alone at all costs after the FBI released the profile and the pictures of the last victims.
"We're looking for a local white man, early twenties. He may have moved here a year ago, we figure he's either in his first year of BA or MA. This is someone you don't notice, he's shy and introverted, he doesn't participate in class and he won't talk to people if he can help it, especially not women. This man is a loner and does his best to be invisible. We think he stalks his victims for a while before attacking them, so if you start seeing someone you've never seen before in strange places, please notify us. My name is Aaron Hotchner and you'll find the hotline on the screen you're watching this on."
You always had at least two friends with you whenever you were roaming about on campus. Though no one really spoke about the situation, the energy had changed. People were becoming tense and suspicious. Friends were fighting over who should accompany who, when and where. A place which had once gathered so many motivated and joyous students now had those very people looking over their shoulder.
You hated it.
Truly, you didn't want to underestimate this killer, but you were getting tired of it all. You'd wish the BAU would just catch him, but, as Spencer had explained to you multiple times, they had incredibly little to go on. What you knew without him telling you was that they needed another victim to predict his next move. Still, you were a person who appreciated alone time and you had gotten none in the last 10 days. So, when two of your friends who were supposed to walk with you from your class to the subway bailed on you, you weren't that upset.
You put your headphones on, listening to your favourite song of the moment and started walking. You had a tendency of getting lost in your thoughts and didn't notice the sound of heavy footsteps following your own over your music. What you did notice though, was the reflection of someone walking close behind you in a cafe window. You looked over your shoulder, frowning. The sun was in your eyes, blocking your vision, but you managed to perceive an average-sized man with long-ish black hair which hung around his face in greasy strands. Not thinking too much of it, you continued on your way.
You didn't think too much of it when you saw him sitting a few tables away from you when you were studying one afternoon at the library. You were captivated by the Middle English poem under your eyes, wondering what the author had meant with the particular use of the kenning "earth-cave". When you looked up and caught his eyes, cold and unnerving, you didn't overthink it. There were some weird people on campus. Who were you to judge?
When you saw him at your grocery store, though, that was when you started worrying. You were picking up a box of After-Eights for Spencer when you saw him looking at oatmeal raisin biscuits. What really tipped you off was that no one really liked those, so he must have been pretending to look occupied. A chill ran down your spine as all the other places you'd spotted him came back to you. Your lecture hall, the cafeteria, sitting in the lawn under a tree, the main hall,...
You decided that the next time you would see him, you'd tell Spencer. You didn't want him to worry if this turned out to be nothing. Maybe the man was just an exchange student? Or had joined during the academic year?
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Two days later, the FBI made an arrest. A man named Ben Colton fitted the profile exactly. In his dorm room, they'd found pictures of women who looked exactly like the last victims and of resembling women on campus, you were part of them. You didn't know that, Spencer had felt you didn't need to be aware of that specific detail. The only problem was that the BAU had no physical evidence tying him to the crimes yet. The arrest had been sanctioned by higher authorities while physical proof was searched for. Police dogs and officers had been tearing through all of his possessions while Garcia had gone through his entire online life. Nothing tying him to the murders had been found.
The general public knew nothing of this, of course. To them, someone getting arrested meant they could go on with their usual lives. The man you'd been seeing left and right had left your mind entirely as you celebrated your regained freedom with your friends.
Of course, Spencer had warned you. They were 99% sure this was the unsub, they just needed the evidence. That didn't eliminate the 1% chance it wasn't him. But 99% chances were good enough for you. You trusted the BAU. Specifically, you trusted Spencer. With your life.
So you started living your life normally again. You left for class a little later because you didn't need to walk with your other friends. You stopped sharing your location with Spencer. You put the volume of your music higher again. You started leaving your pepper spray at home. You started texting while walking again.
Needless to say, you were wholly unprepared for the violent blow to your head as you walked to class one morning. How ironic, you thought as you blacked out, that Mary Goldman had probably experienced the same thing exactly two weeks prior.
Taglist : (all of you who asked for a part three <3) @princess-ofthe-pages @usuck @theylovemelody @empressgraytea @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @lillianacristina @venomsvl @user-3113s-blog @pumpkin-cake @redros3y @faunrasthewinterelf @puppykinsthepotato @bookishnerd1132 @bonza-bear @teeshamcbeesha @hades-disappointment-child @princesssparkle2024 @darlingcharling-blog @yasmin12312 @khxna @jamieeboulos
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luveline · 8 months ago
Note
hotch sister idea-- convincing hotch to take you out to dinner with the whole team because you "want to properly meet his friends" (i'm a sucker for team dynamics) but then being shy and cute with spencer the entire time to the point that hotch notices and gets a tad protective...but ends with spencer getting her number or something
thank you for requesting 💌 —you attend a party with your older brother in a not so secret plight to see Dr. Reid. You fawn, Spencer flusters, and Hotch drinks a tad more than usual. fem, 2.3k
cw for mentions of past child abuse
The car is quiet besides the tread of the tires on asphalt. You click and unclick the clasp of your shoulder bag, checking for your purse, getting worried your purse isn’t in there, and checking again.
“If there’s something you want to ask me, you can ask me.”
You move your gaze to your brother. His quietness can make you nervous, a reflection of your father but with none of the cruelty. “I don’t want you to get mad at me if it’s stupid.”
“Well, I won’t. I promise.”
You know he won’t, but sometimes the fear remains. Even when you’re far from being a kid. “Do you remember when I got suspended for, um, disrespectful behaviour? My senior year?”
Aaron turns the wheel with care. “I do.”
“And we went for ice cream.”
“Yeah, honey, I remember.”
That’s the point you’re trying to make, maybe. That tenderness sewn into the middle of his sentence. If your dad knew you’d been suspended again he would’ve made you feel it. You remember the sinking sensation in your chest waiting for him to pick you up, having written the speech he’d give you in the car ride home in your head ten times over, the sting of his palm grazing your cheek before you’d even seen his hand. So you waited in a total violent panic, head rush, wondering if anything was worth anything, when Aaron arrived to pick you up.
How did you know? you’d asked.
I changed your emergency contact. I hope that’s okay.
“You asked me what I wanted and…”
What flavour did you want, honey? he’d asked. Honey, like he loved you, the only person in the whole world who’d bother asking. The only man who’d take you for ice cream at seventeen years old to cure a bad day.
“And you burst into tears,” Aaron says.
He’d sat down opposite you in his suit, torn from one of his trials, and you can’t remember anymore if he was an attorney or already in the FBI, but you can’t forget how he’d taken your wrists into his hands and asked you not to cry.
“When you took me home, Haley asked me if you’d upset me, and I didn’t know how to explain it so you said yes. And she shouted at you for a whole half hour.”
“Why are you thinking about this now?” he asks.
Maybe because college is over and you’re forced to move on. Aaron asked you to try hard and you have, but now you have your degree and you don’t know what to do with it, you’ll get a job, and then what?
“I’ve been thinking about… my love life.”
“Oh. And you have to talk about this with me?” he jokes.
“I don’t have anybody else.”
He tears his gaze from the windshield. “That’s not true.”
“But…”
He turns into the parking lot outside of Dan’s Fine Wine Bar and pulls into a tight space with ease. He hesitates before he flicks off the engine, turning to you with a smile. “You’ll always have me,” he says, “and we can talk about your love life. I want to. God knows you’ve heard enough about mine this last year.” You both grimace. “But if I have to listen one more time to you talking about Spencer–”
“You said you wouldn’t get mad!”
“Honey.” He takes off his seatbelt and opens the door. “I’m not mad. But imagine your younger sibling comes to you one day to tell you they have feelings for your employee and try to find some sympathy for me!”
He clambers out of the car. You rush after him, unbuckling your seatbelt and nearly smashing your door into the car next to you. The air outside is cold, and you didn’t bring a jacket even though Aaron told you to twice, so you can’t mention it aloud. “I don’t have feelings for him.”
“You have a crush. You’re too old for it.”
“I am not.”
He gestures for you to walk in front of him as he clicks the fob for the car and the doors lock automatically. “I don’t understand what this has to do with your suspension.”
You chew on your cheek. Neon from the wine bar mottles your skin as you pass under it and through the door, air quickly turned from cold to temperate, the smell of old rain replaced by carpeting and beer. When you lift your head to his gaze, he’s still waiting for your answer. “You told me things wouldn’t be that hard forever. I was just wondering when it’s safe to say you were right.”
He grins at you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder to give you a rough hug. “Right now. Be happy right now, honey.”
“There they are!” Penelope calls from a table near the back. Suddenly, Aaron’s entire team of work colleagues stand up where they’ve dominated a whole row of tables and booths alike to greet you. “Oh my gosh, I missed you!”
You met Derek a long long time ago, and JJ around the same time, but everybody else is basically new. College was busy and Aaron busier —there was hardly ever time to visit, and when you did it was to see him and Haley. Meeting his friends was somehow put off.
You’ve since been introduced to Emily and Spencer, so Aaron directs you to David Rossi first. That’s the main team done quickly. But then he has to introduce you to Anderson, Sweeney, Kelly, Cory, Davidson, etc. So many agents for one man’s birthday. Anyone would think Derek Morgan was a celebrity.
“Happy birthday!” you say, when you finally get a moment to speak.
Derek reaches over the table to hug you quickly. “Thank you, gorgeous. We’re thrilled you’re here.” He pulls back, elbowing Penelope lovingly. “Aren’t we, mama?”
Penelope squeals and jumps for you. “So thrilled!”
Aaron touches your back, as if to say, I’m here, before taking a seat opposite Rossi. You hear snippets of a conversation about whiskey and when, but you’re distracted, because suddenly Penelope’s forcing you to sit down in her vacated seat, smack bang between Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid.
Dr. Spencer Reid. “Hi,” you say quietly. Can’t help it. You remember how you’d reacted when you met him the week before last and wonder if it’s too late to pretend you’re cool —you’d gotten so worked up about him. He wrote a bunch of papers you had to read for your degree, some of the most sophisticated theory on elliptical math you’d ever read, and you’re supposed to act like he’s just a normal guy?
It doesn’t help that he’s model pretty. You’d never have thought of him as he is now over email, his huge brown eyes, pale skin, the flicking curl of his hair behind his ears. When he turns his head, he has indents on his nose from a pair of glasses you wish you’d seen. You clear your throat.
“Hi, Y/N, how are you?” Spencer asks.
“I’m gonna go get a drink now,” Aaron says. “What do you want?” he asks you.
“Um, anything. I don’t really wanna drink.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back,” he says with deliberateness.
You feel heat like a rash on your neck. He’s embarrassing you doing his dad routine.
“You look pretty,” Spencer says.
You hide your hands under your thighs. “You think so?”
“You look beautiful,” Penelope says from across the table.
“Didn’t inherit that Hotchner scowl,” Derek says with a grin, “I thought it came with the name.”
“I learned how to do it the day they signed the adoption certificate,” you nudge in, “I just keep it to myself. I think Aaron has it down.”
Everybody within hearing distance laughs at you, to your relief. To your left, Spencer’s shoe hits your heel.
“So weird to hear his real name,” Emily says, tipping her drink to the side, ice and sugar on the surface. “I thought for sure you’d have to call him Hotch too.”
You look around in surprise. “He can’t be that bad. Does he really frown so much?”
You’re told vehemently that your brother is a grump, which is something you were aware of, just not experienced in. Sure, he’s had his unhappy moments, no one can smile every second of the day, but if everyone is to be believed he’s the sternest man alive. Eventually things drift into storytelling. Aaron brings you your drink with a straw and a napkin wrapped around the base, and you find yourself listening to a graphic rehash of Derek’s first case with the BAU.
Spencer’s leg is a coal at your side.
Your self preservation runs out. “You don’t drink?” you ask, nodding to his glass bottle of coke.
“I– I never did. I never had the opportunity. I’ve never even been to a party.” He pauses. “I don’t know why I just told you that.”
“I didn’t go to parties either,” you say, overjoyed to find common ground so quickly.
“I mean, I was never invited, but highschool parties didn’t seem like my thing. And, you know, I was twelve.”
“You were twelve in highschool?”
He’s doing that thing you noticed the day you met, where his lips move before he’s ready to talk, his emotion clear. “You weren’t?” he asks, not quite smooth but enough to make you laugh suddenly.
“I wish! I could’ve been done with college years ago.” Your brows pinch together. “Wait, so did you go to college as a kid?”
“I mean, sort of.”
“What? No wonder you didn’t go to any parties, that must’ve been insane. When I was twelve I was still setting my Barbie’s up for dance parties. Aaron has a photo of me dressed up in mom’s old clothes.” You lean forward for a sip of your drink.
“Oh, don’t worry, there’s a photo of me just like that when I was twelve, too.”
You laugh so hard you almost choke.
A cup comes down hard somewhere behind your turned head.
“You okay?” Emily asks.
She wears a smirk you don’t understand, a joke you’ve missed. You peer past her to look to Aaron for advice and find him rather sullen, hand curled tightly around his drink. You try to give him a signal to ask if he’s alright, but it’s to no avail.
“I’m fine, sorry, just a joke.” You turn back to Spencer. “That’s adorable.”
You’re breathless talking to him. He must notice, but Spencer doesn’t say a word.
If someone asked you why he caught your attention, you’re not sure you know the answer. He’s pretty, undeniably, and it’s fascinating that you used his theory while you were in school, but fascination isn’t endless. Maybe it’s the way he looks at you. No ones ever given such a clear sense of awe; he gets stuck on you, his eyes tracing your cheek and your nose and your lips. It’s noticeable, but it isn’t unwanted. You keep coming back to his smile as he talks, the flash of his teeth.
“I honestly didn’t know Hotch had a sister,” Spencer says.
“He was keeping us apart for a reason,” you say insistently, “I just don’t know what that reason is yet. He must’ve known you were the Dr. Reid I’d been reading.”
“It makes it sound like you’re reading me,” Spencer laughs. “Like, my hands.”
“Do you want me to?”
“Do I want you to what?”
“To read your palm?”
“You know how?”
“No parties, remember?”
Spencer gives you his hand. He has nice hands, big but slim-fingered like a pianist’s, though if he plays isn’t something you know. You angle it flat careful, your thumbs to either side of his open palm. “What do you want to know?” you ask.
“What can you tell me?”
You hum gently. “You have your life line, your head line, your heart line– your love line.”
“What does that– that mean for me?”
You press your thumb to his mount Jupiter, a soft hill of his hand under one of his fingers where the heart line begins. “Your desire for love, and your capacity for it. See how deeply curved it is?” you ask, drawing along his heart line gently. “It means you’re warm, and loving. That you could have a great love.”
You look up, his hand held gently between yours. “But I could be really wrong. I haven’t done this in so long, I might just be making stuff up.”
You sound insecure to your own ears, cringing away from his hand, but Spencer ducks his head just a little to keep your gaze, and he smiles at you softly. “It’s okay. I like your reading, even if it’s wrong. Where did you learn how to do that?”
“Aaron would buy me any book I asked for growing up, he…”
Your brother, sitting only a few seats away, can’t find it in himself to regret that particular generosity even if the sight of you holding Spencer’s hand isn’t one he wants to see. It’s odd. You’re fully grown up, and it’s not like Aaron thinks Spencer would ever hurt you purposefully, but it’s hard to see anyways. He can admit to feeling like a father watching his daughter finding a first love; he can’t keep you forever and he doesn’t want to, but it’s still hard to watch as you descend into giggles that border on dizziness.
“This is a good thing,” Rossi says. “You’ll never have to worry about her being out past curfew.”
Aaron laughs, it’s funny, and then he knocks back his drink.
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godsfavdarling · 5 months ago
Text
How does that feel?
+18!!!
pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader summary: You've been having a hard time finishing in bed and you finally tell Spencer what's going on. words: 4,4k warnings: smut - oral (fem! receiving), breast/nipple play, unprotected sex (don't do that) a/n: this was a request! also, i've stared at this thing for so long i don't know anymore what's going on, but i hope yall like it <3
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You sat at a cozy corner table in the dimly lit bar, surrounded by your closest friends - Penelope, Emily, and JJ. The four of you had met up for a much-needed girls' night out to finally have a chance to unwind and catch up. 
"Can you believe the latest case we worked on?" JJ said, shaking her head. "Sometimes it feels like we're living in a crime novel."
"Tell me about it," Emily agreed. "But PLEASE! Let’s not talk about work. I need to decompress."
Penelope raised her glass. "To decompressing! And to… friends!"
You all clinked glasses, smiling at each other. Very quickly the conversation shifted towards more personal topics.
"So, how are things with Will?" Emily asked, turning to JJ.
JJ smiled. "Things are great, actually. We're planning a little getaway next month, just the two of us. What about you, Em? Any romance on the horizon?"
Emily shrugged. "I'm enjoying the single life right now. Besides, it’s not easy to find love having this job. When am I supposed to do that?"
Penelope grinned. "Don’t you worry about it, pumpkin! You’re gonna find someone soon. I can feel it in my bones!."
The conversation continued in this vein for a while, each of you sharing updates about your romantic lives. You listened and laughed along, but Penelope's observant eyes caught the slightly distant look on your face.
"Alright, spill it," Penelope prompted, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. "What's been going on with you lately? You've seemed a bit off."
You sighed, feeling a mixture of relief and embarrassment. These were your friends, after all, and you knew you could trust them. "It's just... I've been having a hard time finishing in bed lately. It's been… really frustrating."
Emily raised an eyebrow, her expression sympathetic. "Have you talked to Spencer about it?"
You shook your head. "Not yet. I mean, I want to, but I don't want to make him feel bad or think it's his fault. He's always so attentive, and I don't want him to think he's doing something wrong. And he’s not doing anything wrong. He’s perfect. Obviously."
JJ leaned in, her voice gentle. "Hey, communication is key. Spencer loves you, and I'm sure he’d want to know what's going on so he can help. I’m sure his big brain knows exactly what to do."
Penelope nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely! Plus, it could be an opportunity to explore new things together… Sometimes all it takes is a little experimentation."
You smiled, feeling a bit more encouraged. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I'll talk to him."
-------------------------------------
Later that evening, you found yourself back at home, sitting on the couch next to Spencer. He was engrossed in a book, the dim light casting soft shadows across his focused face. He set the book aside when he noticed your pensive expression, concern immediately clouding his eyes.
"Hey, is everything okay?" he asked, his voice gentle but laced with worry.
You took a deep breath, feeling your heart pound in your chest. "Spence, there's something I need to talk to you about."
He turned to face you fully, his full attention on you, his brow furrowing slightly. "Of course. What is it?"
You hesitated, your fingers twisting in your lap as you searched for the right words. Finally, you decided to dive in. "Lately, I've been having a hard time finishing in bed. It's been really frustrating for me, and I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want you to feel bad."
Spencer's expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding and concern. His mouth opened slightly as if to speak, but he hesitated, clearly processing what you had just revealed. "Oh…”
You immediately regretted saying anything. It wasn't the end of the world, after all. You still enjoyed sex but just couldn't reach the high. Maybe you were just too stressed. 
It had nothing to do with Spencer. 
Tears welled up in your eyes as Spencer seemed lost in thought, his brow furrowed as he tried to find the right words. Why would he know what to say? You felt like you were just making things difficult.
“Forget it. It’s fine,” you said quickly, trying to dismiss the conversation and spare him the discomfort.
“No, no, no, wait,” he said, reaching out and grabbing your hands as you started to stand up. His grip was firm but gentle, grounding you. “It’s okay. I’m glad you told me. I just… how did I not notice? I… I’m just trying to remember, well, I remember everything and I just… I can’t believe I… couldn’t tell.”
“It’s fine, Spencer. I didn’t want you to know. It’s embarrassing.” Your voice wavered, and you looked away, feeling tears start to spill down your cheeks.
“No, it’s not. It’s not embarrassing. I want you to feel good.”
“It does feel good. Always. I just… I don’t know. I just can’t cum. It’s like I get almost there and it feels good, but it never happens.” At this point, you were crying openly, the frustration and embarrassment overwhelming you.
Spencer pulled you into a tight hug, his arms wrapping around you securely. You buried your face in his chest, feeling the warmth and steady beat of his heart. He rubbed your back soothingly, his voice a soft murmur in your ear. "Hey, hey, it’s okay. We’ll figure this out together. I want to help."
You clung to him, feeling the weight of your frustration starting to lift just a little. "I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to think it was your fault."
Spencer pulled back slightly to look into your eyes, his gaze intense and filled with love. “It’s not your fault, and it’s not my fault. Sometimes these things happen. What’s important is that we’re in this together. We can try new things, we can talk and see what works for you.”
You nodded, sniffling a little. “Okay. I’d like that.”
“Good,” he said, smiling gently, his thumb brushing away a tear from your cheek. “We’ll take it slow and explore together. Your pleasure is important to me, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you’re satisfied.”
As you snuggled into his arms, the tension slowly easing from your body, you wondered why you had been so scared to tell him in the first place. Spencer always knew what to say, always knew how to make you feel safe and loved. 
This was Spencer - your Spencer - and you realized you had nothing to fear.
-------------------------------------
Spencer was clearly waiting for you to initiate anything, respecting your pace and comfort. In the meantime, he very carefully tried to understand you.
Despite his constant reassurances that there was nothing to be ashamed of and that he was more than happy to figure this out together, you couldn't shake the lingering embarrassment about your problem. He was understanding and supportive, trying to create a safe space for you to open up about your frustrations.
You spent several nights just talking, diving deep into the details of your intimate experiences. Spencer approached it with a mix of curiosity and determination, asking thoughtful and sometimes probing questions. 
You discussed every position you'd tried before, analyzing what felt best and why. You talked about your feelings toward toys and whether they might help. 
Spencer inquired about foreplay - whether it felt too short, too long, too intense, or not intense enough. He wanted to understand what was most pleasurable for you in terms of finishing. Was it when he was eating you out, fingering you, or through penetration? Or did you find that a combination of these was most satisfying? 
He also asked if you enjoyed it when he talked to you during the act. What were your favorite things for him to say? 
He wanted to understand everything about your experiences. What went through your mind when you masturbated? What kind of porn did you watch? Each question, while sometimes making your face flush with embarrassment, was asked with genuine care and focus. 
Spencer treated it like a meticulous scientific research project, aiming to solve the problem with the utmost care and attentiveness. His dedication and focus made you feel deeply cared for, as he was on a mission to be the one to help you find the satisfaction you deserved.
On Saturday night, you and Spencer lay in bed with your books, enjoying the quiet comfort of each other's company. He was engrossed in a thick classic novel in a foreign language, while you were absorbed in your favorite author’s new romance. The plot had just reached the point where the two protagonists had sex for the first time. The scene stirred something deep within you, making your skin feel hot and your heart race. You bit your lip, trying to concentrate, but your thoughts kept drifting.
As the scene ended, you finally allowed yourself to look over at Spencer. He was completely lost in the pages, his brows furrowed in concentration.
“Having problems, genius?” you teased, your voice carrying a playful edge.
“What? No!” he replied, not even looking up from the words on the page. “How’s your romance? Is it good?”
“Oh... it’s very good,” you said, scooting closer to him, propping your head on your hand. Finally, he looked at you, curiosity mingling with his usual attentiveness.
“What is it?” he asked, sensing your change in mood.
“Nothing,” you replied with feigned innocence, placing your hand on his chest. 
His eyes stayed on you, studying your expression. Your breathing grew heavier as you stared at his neck, unable to hold back any longer. You lowered your face to the side of his neck, your lips brushing against his skin.
Spencer's breath hitched slightly, and he set his book aside, his attention fully on you now. "Are you sure it's nothing?" he murmured, his voice low and inviting.
You smiled against his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin. "Well, maybe it's something," you admitted, your voice a whisper. Your fingers traced gentle patterns on his chest, feeling a now quicker beat of his heart beneath your touch.
Spencer’s hand came up to cradle your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek. “Tell me,” he urged softly, his eyes filled with desire.
The room felt charged with electricity. 
“Well… I was just reading this scene… where, you know… the girl and the boy finally fucked. On the floor. It made me think of us.” you confessed, your voice trembling slightly.
“You want to have sex on the floor?” Spencer asked with a serious tone.
You laughed, the sound easing some of the tension. “No, too many germs,” you said with a playful grin.
Spencer chuckled, his eyes softening with affection. “Alright, not on the floor then,” he said, his voice low and inviting as his hand gently caressed your cheek. “But I get the idea.”
You leaned into his touch, your heart pounding with anticipation. “I just want to be close to you,” you murmured, your fingers tracing the outline of his collarbone.
Spencer's eyes darkened with understanding, and he leaned in to kiss you, his lips soft yet insistent. “Then let’s explore that together,” he whispered against your lips, his hand sliding down to rest on your hip, pulling you closer.
His kiss was deep, his lips moving against yours with a gentle urgency that sent shivers down your spine. 
His hand, now resting on your hip, guided you closer, pressing your bodies together. 
You instinctively rubbed your thighs together, seeking some friction, and Spencer, ever observant, immediately noticed. It seemed impossible for him to be more attentive, yet somehow he was. 
With a gentle but deliberate motion, he turned you so that you were lying on your back beneath him. As he shifted, you felt the press of his already hard cock against your core, making you lift your hips slightly, yearning for more contact.
“We’re gonna take things slow, okay?” he murmured, his voice soft but firm. “I want you to feel good.”
You wanted him, you wanted him now, but you understood his approach. 
After all the endless conversations, you and Spencer had reached a few conclusions about what worked best for you both. 
For one, you often found yourselves too excited, mostly you, to slow things down. Foreplay, though it was present, had usually been quite brief due to the intense need to get naked and feel him inside you. So, longer foreplay became a new priority.
Two, you discovered that you felt most connected when he was close to you, every part of his body touching yours.
Three, you both agreed on the importance of more kissing. Spencer had given you what felt like a comprehensive college level lesson on erogenous zones, emphasizing the need to focus on and cherish these areas. 
His lips, his touch, his breath - every aspect of physical intimacy was to be savored and explored in greater depth.
With these insights in mind, Spencer leaned down, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss. His hands roamed your body with a slow, deliberate grace, each touch designed to explore and stimulate. 
His kisses traveled from your lips to your neck, then lower, each movement a careful balance of passion and tenderness.
He paused to look into your eyes, his gaze filled with both love and a hint of playful mischief. “Ready for us to take our time?” he asked, his voice a soothing murmur.
You nodded, your heart racing with anticipation. “Yes,” you whispered, your voice filled with a mix of excitement and relief. “Let’s take our time.”
Your nipples were already hard against your tank top, the fabric offering little barrier to the stimulation. Spencer grazed the side of your breasts with his hands, his touch both teasing and tender. 
As his lips kissed and nuzzled your collarbones, his thumb began to circle your nipple through the thin material of your shirt. The sensation made you shiver with pleasure, and you melted further into his touch.
His leg, now firmly pressed between your thighs, rubbed gently against your inner thighs and core. The pressure of his length pressed into your hip, amplifying the heat building in you.
“Please, take it off,” you whispered, your voice quivering with need.
“Take off what?” Spencer murmured, his face still buried in your chest, his hair brushing against your face with every movement.
“My shirt. Please,” you pleaded, a hint of desperation in your voice.
He chuckled softly, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he slid his hands lower, pushing up your top to reveal your stomach. He showered your exposed skin with soft kisses, his lips warm and affectionate against your belly. 
As you reached for the hem of your shirt, you quickly pulled it off, tossing it aside.
“What happened to taking things slow?” Spencer asked, looking up at you with a teasing grin, his chin resting against your stomach.
“Sorry,” you said, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
“Don’t be,” he replied with a smile. “I just want to make sure you feel really good.”
“I do,” you whispered, your voice filled with need. “Keep going.”
“Whatever you say, angel,” he murmured with a soft chuckle.
With that, Spencer moved between your legs, lifting them and resting them on his shoulders. He positioned himself comfortably, and you felt the anticipation rise as his face moved closer to your core. 
He inhaled deeply, his breath warm against your sensitive folds, making you whimper in response.
“Please,” you begged softly, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Okay,” he said, his voice muffled as he pressed his face into you, pulling down your underwear with careful, deliberate motions. He started with a gentle kiss on your nub, his lips exploring with a tenderness that made you gasp. 
He then trailed his kisses down to your thighs, peppering them with soft, teasing pecks. The sensation was delightful, and you giggled, placing your hand on his cheek.
He turned his mouth to your hand, kissing the inside of your palm before taking it in his hand and guiding it back to rest gently beside you. His fingers lingered, his touch warm and reassuring as he held your hand. 
He then looked at your cunt.
“You’re already so wet. For me?” he asked, his voice filled with both awe and desire.
“For you? Always,” you replied, your breath hitching.
He chuckled against you, the sound and the vibration making you shiver. “Don’t do that,” you said with a laugh, trying to steady your breathing.
“Sorry,” he murmured with a playful tone. 
Before you could say anything more, he gave you a long, slow lick from your entrance to the top, his tongue moving with a deliberate slowness. He stopped at your sensitive nub and began to suck gently, his mouth working with a rhythm that made you arch your back and moan in pleasure.
Spencer’s mouth was a world of sensation against you. 
He kept going with long, languid licks, his tongue gliding from your entrance to the top of your sensitive nub. Each stroke was deliberate, exploring every inch with a careful, loving precision. 
The warmth of his tongue, combined with the perfect pressure, sent waves of pleasure coursing through you, making you gasp and moan.
You felt your breath quicken as his movements became more focused. 
He moved his tongue in quicker, teasing circles around your clit, his mouth creating a constant, delightful friction. 
You squirmed under the intensity, your hips instinctively bucking in response.
When you no longer felt him on your clit, a desperate cry for him almost escaped your lips. But then, he gently slipped his tongue inside you, and a wave of relief and pleasure washed over you. 
He moved with precision, his tongue exploring deeper while maintaining the steady, teasing motions that drove you wild. Each movement was deliberate, calculated to elicit the maximum pleasure from you.
His nose brushed against your folds and clit with each movement, adding an extra layer of sensation. The combination of his tongue inside you and the gentle pressure of his nose against your most sensitive spot made you tremble. 
Your hand clutched at the sheets, your body arching toward him, seeking more.
You could feel the build-up of tension and ecstasy swelling inside you.
Through all of this, Spencer held your hand firmly in his, his fingers intertwined with yours. 
As you felt your orgasm approaching, you squeezed his hand tightly, your fingers gripping his with a mix of desperation and pleasure. 
Spencer responded by tracing gentle circles on the back of your hand with his thumb, his touch soothing and intimate amidst all the intense sensations he was creating.
With a final, expert flick of his tongue, he sent you spiraling into a powerful climax. 
Your body tensed and then released in a wave of pleasure, your moans filling the room. Spencer continued his slow, consistent movements, savoring every moment of your release.
As the waves of pleasure began to subside, he slowly eased his mouth away, leaving soft, lingering kisses along your inner thighs. 
His hand remained clasped with yours, and he looked into your eyes from between your thighs, his expression a mix of content and desire. “Wanna keep going? We can stop if you need to.”
You shook your head, a determined glint in your eyes as you pulled yourself up and crushed into him, pressing your lips against his with an almost desperate intensity. 
The kiss was fervent, your tongues dancing together, both urgent and consuming as you tasted yourself on his lips and on his tongue. He was covered in you.
Spencer’s hands found their way to your back, his touch warm and gentle, but firm at the same time.
Tonight felt different. It was more intense, more electric. 
As your kiss grew deeper, you moaned into him, the sound mingling with his own soft groans of pleasure. With a deft maneuver, he turned you so that you were straddling him, his hands firmly on your hips.
“Is this okay?” he managed to ask, his voice a low rumble as he pulled away just enough to look into your eyes. The effort it took to break the kiss was evident, his breaths heavy and laden with desire.
“Yes,” you responded quickly, your need palpable as you crashed your lips back onto his, kissing him even harder. 
“Baby, slow down,” Spencer said softly, though his voice was tinged with longing. “We were meant to go slow.”
You moved your lips to his cheek and jaw, leaving a trail of kisses that were tender but laced with urgency. “I need you. I need you so bad,” you whispered against his skin, the words laced with an aching desire.
Spencer gently cupped your face, his fingers tracing soothing patterns along your jawline. He guided your gaze to meet his.
“Look at me,” he said softly, his voice a gentle promise and his eyes filled with affection “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere. We have all night and even more.”
He leaned in and kissed you with a tenderness that contrasted the intensity of moments before. 
“How do you do it?” you asked breathlessly, your curiosity blending with the haze of desire. You wondered, as you looked into his eyes, how he managed to maintain such control over himself amidst all the passion.
“What?” Spencer’s voice was a mixture of confusion and intrigue.
“Stop yourself,” you clarified, your voice barely above a whisper. “How do you manage to hold back?”
Spencer’s eyes softened, and he gave you a reassuring smile. “It’s not about holding back,” he said, his voice calm and sincere. “It’s about making sure you feel good. I want this to be perfect for you, for us, every time. That’s what matters.”
His words stirred something deep within you, and you were hit by a wave of warmth and appreciation. As he leaned in to kiss you again, the tender, loving nature of his touch gave you goosebumps.
“Can we fuck now?” you asked, your voice husky with need.
Spencer looked at you with a warm, eager smile. “Yes. Yes, we can,”
You gave his cock a few teasing strokes, feeling the way he reacted, his breath hitching as he moaned softly into your shoulder. You slowly guided him to your entrance. 
The sensation of him pressing against you was both thrilling and comforting, a familiar solace you will never get tired of and always makes your world shudder.
With a gentle, deliberate motion, you positioned him at your core, and you slowly lowered yourself onto him. 
The gradual stretch and the way he filled you completely was exquisite, causing you both to moan into each other’s mouths softly. 
You took your time, savoring each inch, feeling every subtle shift and movement.
Spencer’s hands were steady on your hips, guiding and supporting you as you adjusted to his size. His breaths were heavy, matching the rhythm of your movements. 
The room was filled with only the sound of your shared pleasure, a mix of gasps and moans.
As you slowly rode him, the rhythm of your movements became more synchronized, each motion building both of you up to the peak. 
Spencer’s hands were not idle - he moved with purpose, his touch exploring every inch of your body with a deep, loving attentiveness.
One hand continued to support you around your lower back, while the other trailed up to your breasts. His fingers began to play with your nipples, gently pinching and rolling them as you moved. 
That was one thing you had confessed to him during one of your intimate conversations, and Spencer had clearly taken it to heart. You had shared with him how much you loved when he played with your breasts, revealing, a bit embarrassed, the deep pleasure it brought you.
“How does that feel?” he asked in between the kisses he left on your neck, his voice a husky whisper against your skin.
“Fuck,” was all you managed to say, a breathless gasp that made him chuckle, his eyes gleaming with amusement and desire.
He massaged your breasts tenderly, his fingers moving with a practiced ease, adjusting his touch to match the rhythm of your thrusts. His lips covered every inch of your neck and shoulders, leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.
The combination of his hands on your breasts, the feeling of him inside you, and his lips on your skin was overwhelming. Your body responded instinctively, arching into his touch, your breath coming in short, sharp bursts.
Spencer’s breath came in ragged gasps, his groans of pleasure mingling with yours. His hands worked skillfully, keeping your nipples sensitive and aroused as your movements became more frantic and desperate. Then his eyes locked onto yours, a mixture of concentration and passion evident in his gaze.
While you stared into his brown eyes, he finally teased your nipple with a light lick of his tongue. 
You almost screamed. 
He started kissing it while his other hand worked on your other breast, his mouth hot and insistent. His tongue traced circles around your hard peak, sending shivers down your spine, while his slim fingers squeezed the other one.
At that point, you screamed into his ear, unable to contain the intensity of your pleasure.
“Sorry,” you whispered, your voice a trembling apology.
“It’s okay. You’re so beautiful,” he replied, his eyes softening with affection as he looked at you, his hands never ceasing their tender ministrations. His words and touch combined, making you feel cherished and desired in every way and that made your heart swell.
His lips returned to your other nipple, sucking and teasing it with more insistence now.
Finally, the pressure inside you reached its peak. 
With a gasp and a shudder, you came, the wave of ecstasy crashing over you while his lips stayed on your breasts peppering them with kisses.
Your body tensed and then relaxed as you rode out the climax, your moans filling the room. Spencer continued to stroke your breasts gently, his touch both soothing and stimulating as he guided you through the final throes of your orgasm.
As you slowly came down from the high, you leaned your head against his, your fingers gently threading through his hair, the other arm wrapped around his neck. He held you close, his hands now lingering on your back with a soft, affectionate touch. 
He squeezed you tightly, turning his face to kiss your neck, which elicited one more moan from your lips. 
You could feel him smiling against your skin as he squeezed you tightly one more time.
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rinsoap · 6 months ago
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best friend! suna who makes you new playlists all the time. the names are inside jokes with you, little things he whispers in your ear late at night. the description always says, "for y/n". sometimes it has a little message explaining why he made it alongside the dedication, but he never fails to remind you, it was made for you and only you.
"for y/n. songs that remind me that time at the park." "for y/n. just songs that reminded me of your face. "for y/n. songs for when you're sad. hope it cheers you up."
best friend! suna who always know when something is off with you. he can tell from just the shaky delivery of a sentence or the small tremble of your lip, he knows. he hates seeing you like this, he'll do anything to see your pretty smile. words aren't his thing, he'd rather listen to you for hours, even if you're just venting the whole time. anything to make you feel a little better.
"what was that?" "what was what?" "you know. you did a weird nervous laugh when you said that." "stop that's just how i laugh don't make fun of me" "no you laugh completely different don't lie. come on, tell me what's wrong. i'm here, i got you."
best friend! suna who's favourite thing is your movie nights. your legs draped over his thighs with his arm around your shoulder. you glance over at him, and he's already staring, glow of the tv flickering on his face as he studies your face back. his eyes keep dropping to your lips, so when you give him a smile and a slight quirk of your eyebrow, he cocks his head before turning back to the movie. the next morning, you wake up on his couch and in his arms.
"what are you staring at, huh?" "what? nothing. just... it's nothing. i, um, i like how you did your makeup today. looks nice." "oh, i did it differently today! thank you!!! how'd you even notice that? it's so dark!" "just got sharp vision, i don't know damn. now pay attention to the movie. don't even know what's going on." "you're the one who was staring at me???"
best friend! suna who playfully calls you princess whenever he does you a favour. despite his frequent complaints, he secretly loves treating you like a princess. he knows you deserve it. so when you ask him to pick you up from a party you don't want to be at, he grabs his keys as soon as soon he sees the text, like he always does, no matter how late it is. he'll tease you, telling you he's not coming as he's starting the car. he just likes toying with you. when he picks you up, you slide into the passenger's seat with a sigh, expressing how hungry you are and begging him to take you to the nearest drive thru. he protests, but he drives you to a burger king trying to suppress a smile.
"really now? what am i? a personal butler?" "i was thinking more like righthand man. like smee from peter pan." "i'm definitely the captain hook out of the two of us but okay whatever. are burger kings even open this late?" "well can't we see? pleeeeease rinnie i'm so hungry i'll eat a whole cow" "fine okay, whatever you want princess. just to save the hypothetical cow though."
best friend! suna who doesn't drive you home quite yet. he pulls into a spot by the beach, a cliff overlooking the water sparkling under the moonlight. a playlist of love songs he made you plays as background to your conversation as he looks out on the view while you aid the song in filling his silence. you're hardly eating the burger he bought for you, so caught up in speaking. he looks to you, leaning in to listen more intently and you instinctively match him and close the distance between you. he nods in agreement to a long rant you've been going on about, stumbling over your words when you realize how close he is.
"you're giving me that look." "what look?" "i don't know. the one from the other night. when we were watching howl's moving castle." "oh. right." "does my makeup looks good again?" "yeah, i mean... it always look good, you know. you always look good." "oh, well, thank you rin you're sweet" "only to you, princess."
best friend! suna who hooks his finger under your chin to lift your head to his, bringing you into a gentle kiss. his other hand finds yours resting on the centre compartment to carress your skin with his thumb. when you pull apart, both of you don't say anything. you smile at each other, forehead to forehead, and there is a silent agreement that words could never be enough.
ᵎᵎᵎ ִֶ ࣪ ⊹ ֶָ ، 𓂅 the song playing in the car: infrunami by steve lacy
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vivian-pascal · 8 months ago
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Summer Love
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dbf!joel x f!reader
summary: You were the sweet, little, innocent girl that your father had raised perfectly. You went to church every Sunday and made sure to do all your college work before any free time for yourself. Your dad and you had a great relationship, talked about boys, college, friends. Anything. Sometimes your dad's best friend would come over on a warm, summer eve. You'd all sit outside and listen while he played the guitar, every time you were with him, you had a tingly feeling in your core. One night, he decides to do something very unexpected.
warnings: age gap, flirting, teasing, jealous!joel, pervy!joel?(just gonna put that in there incase) sexual tension, referring to pussy as 'she', description of what reader wears, manhandling, piv (wrap it up) oral f!receiving, fingering, clit slapping, joel's dirty mouth, thigh riding, joel not lasting, reader is on birth control, aftercare
authors note: so, I just wrote this little one shot expecting it to be just a drabble, but it is a bit longer than I expected and I'm kind of in love with these two and might turn it into another series 😭 what do you guys think I should do??
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You laugh uncontrollably as your dad makes jokes about this boy at college that you've supposedly had a 'crush' on. "Dad stop!" You swat him on the shoulder as he walks into the kitchen. "Just sayin' sweetheart." He shrugs his shoulders and you roll your eyes.
"I don't like him dad, I didn't even say anything that would hint to that!" You hear a knock on the door and your dad walks over to it. "Yeah yeah." He opens it and immediately smiles.
"Hey man!" He opens his arms wide to the stranger you're not quite sure who it is yet. When he walks in, you're stomach immediately flips. Joel Miller.
He grins at you as you shyly smile. He walks through the door with his guitar, of course, and Tommy walks in too. "Hey uncle Tom!" You smile and give him a big hug. You've always loved Tommy. He's funny and will make a joke about almost anything. Where as Joel, he's a bit more cold.
"Hey yourself." He squeezes you tightly and spins you around. You giggle when he puts you back on the ground. You all make your way outside and onto the back porch. Joel sits in his usual spot, the rocking chair, and you sit next to him on the lounge couch that holds Tommy as well.
He strums the guitar once to see if its tuned and then he begins to play. The night breeze flows on your face as the music he plays fills your ears. "So how's college goin'? You look at Tommy and look at your dad. He has a big stupid grin on his face and you shake your head as a 'please don't' to your dad so he doesn't mention your so called 'crush.'
"I think it's goin' really good, isn't that right sweetheart?" You roll your eyes and give him a dirty look. "Oh what's this now?" Tommy leans forward as he's more interested in the conversation. Joel stops playing and your face turns a shade of pink.
"Do you wanna tell them hon, or should I?" You cup your face in your hands and run your fingers through your hair. "Oh my god dad, it's not that big of a deal okay? He asked me on a date once! Once!"
Tommy's grin only widens and Joel just looks angry. "Right sweetheart, and what'd you say hm?" You roll your eyes. "I said yes okay?"
Joel can feel his heart pounding in his ears. You? Going on a date? That's a no go.
"Ohhhh!" Tommy throws his arms in the air and sits up straight. "Well? Did you get laid with'em?" "Tommy!" He laughs as you slap his shoulder and sigh loudly.
"Joel, you alright over there? Looked like you'd seen a ghost brother." You turn to see Joel and your eyes widen in surprise. He looks furious and scared at the same time. How is that possible? And what's he mad about?
He clears his throat and rests his guitar against a pillar. "Yeah, m'fine." He stands up and steps over your legs. He stares down at you and that's for sure a sign he's not okay. "M'gonna get a drink, anyone want anythin'?" Tommy shakes his head but your dad asks for a beer. "I'll get my own." You stand up and walk over to him.
His nostrils flare as he sees you pass by him and into the house. You walk into the kitchen and grab the kettle. Filling it with water, you put it back on the stand and flick the switch to start it. You reach up and onto your tip-toes to reach your mug but its just to high. You try jumping but its no use. Just as you're about to turn around and ask Joel for help, he reaches his arm above yours and grabs the mug.
You mumble a quick 'thanks' as you grab your tea bag. "What's his name?" You turn your head to face him. "Who?" He looks at you as he cracks open a can of beer. "The guy you're datin'." You roll your eyes and lean against the counter.
"For the last time, I'm not dating him. We went on a date once and-" "Did you have sex with him?" The question stumbles you. Who the hell asks that? You look at Joel dumbfounded and he just raises his eyebrows. You gulp as you beg the kettle to hurry up so this conversation can end.
"Well" You pause as he stares at you. "Yes but it was only one time-" "Thanks darlin', that's all I wanted to know." He gives you a smile as he leaves you standing in the kitchen all alone. You run your hand through your hair. Grabbing your mug, you pour the boiling hot water and take it outside.
You sit down on the lounge chair and try avoiding his glare. The men talk for a while as you sit and sip your tea, just listening. You do wish Joel would play his guitar again. Something about the way his fingers move and how he strums the shallow instrument makes you tingle.
Something about him, Joel. Makes your heart jump out of your skin. He's always had an impact on you. His voice, his hands, his hair, his strong body. Just everything about him is perfect.
You yawn as the conversation comes to an end. "Think it's time we should head out." Your dad stands up and cracks his back. He grabs Tommy's hand and pulls him in tight for a hug. You stand awkwardly with Joel. All of a sudden, two strong shoulders are spinning you around and you fall head first into a strong chest.
He wraps his arms around your small frame as you try to wrap your arms around his. It's unexpected so you're not exactly sure what to do. He rests his head on yours and you breathe in his scent.
"Don't be gettin into much trouble darlin', don't wanna end up with the wrong people ya'know." He lets go of your body and you look up at him as you nod your head. He gives you a little grin and pats the top of your head. "See ya kiddo." He walks out, grabbing his guitar, and shakes your dads hand.
You stand there for a few moments. Trying to regain composure as you try to wrap your head around what just happened. The fuck does he think he is?
You clear your head and begin to walk inside. Closing the sliding door, you kick your shoes off and head upstairs. You take off your shirt and bra changing into your over-sized shirt and some shorts. You lie in bed and close your eyes. Dreaming of Joel.
When you wake up to the morning sun shining into your room, you think back to the day before and cringe at all the awkwardness. You pull back the sheets and get out of bed. You put some socks on before opening your door and heading downstairs.
Your dad is in the kitchen making breakfast and his coffee already. "Morning dad." He looks up and smiles at you. "Morning sweetie, I gotta head out to work, Joel's gonna be around to fix up the bathroom since the showers not working, see ya later okay? Love you!" And with that, he grabs his work bag and shuts the door.
Shit. You completely forgot the shower wasn't working. Oh well.
You walk into the kitchen and grab a glass, filling it with water and gulping it down before heading back upstairs. You go into your room and change into some booty shorts and a sweater, you put your hair up and into a high ponytail. You smile at yourself and head downstairs.
Its almost noon by the time Joel arrives. He knocks on the door and you immediately jump up to answer it. "Hey!" You smile up at him sweetly and he takes a deep breath. Seeing you in your little cute outfit makes his jeans get a little tighter.
He clears his throat and smiles down at you. "Hey there darlin', your dad in?" You shake your head and leave the door open for him to follow you in. He watches the way your hips shake as you walk back into the living room with those little shorts on, leaving much to the imagination.
"Nope, he left a few hours ago, just me and you Joel." You smile slyly at him and he groans. How is he supposed to contain himself when you're just looking too goddamn good?
He heads upstairs and straight for the bathroom. He sets his bag down and inspects the shower. He opens his bag up and gets straight to work.
Its been about an hour since Joel has been here. You decide to make him a little sandwich and bring him a glass of water since he must be hungry and thirsty because of how hard he is working.
You carry the plate and the glass upstairs and into the bathroom. "Here Joel, I brought you some-" Your face immediately turns red as you see his shirt soaked with sweat and his face shining with it. You can see the muscles in his arms and his back. You gulp when he looks at you and grins.
"Well that's very thoughtful of ya sugar." He backs out of the shower and heads towards you. He takes the plate from your hands and his fingers just glaze yours. You take a deep breath in when you smell his sweat and that rough musky smell of him.
He takes a bite of the sandwich and sips a drink of water. "H-How is it?" You stutter as you stare at his veiny neck. Watching the way his jaw moves as he takes another bite, swallowing down the bread.
"Great! Thanks s'much sweetheart." You nod your head as you stare at his mouth. The way his lips bite into the soft bread and how they form themselves around the rip of the cup just perfectly makes you want to devour him.
Once he's done the sandwich, he leans in close to your face and looks into your eyes. "Ya know, ya shouldn't really be interested in an old man like me sugar." Your eyes widen at his statement.
He knows he shouldn't be flirting with you, let alone do what he's about to do, but how could he resist your sweet little self?
"I, uh, I'm not sure what you mean Joel?" He grins as he grabs onto your waist and pulls you into him. He leans in close to your ear and his soft whispers of air tickle your neck.
"I can practically smell how wet ya are f'me darlin'." He leans back and looks down at your starstruck face. "Joel, that's not true-" He snakes his rough hand down the outside of your shorts and cups your mound.
"Really darlin'? Cause it sure does feel like she's drippin'" You moan as his hand stays where it is. Putting the slightest little pressure on your swollen bud. "Joel, please." He chuckles at your begging state.
"Oh no honey, you were just sayin' ya didn't want me." He teases as he sneaks a finger into your shorts, moving your panties to the side and pressing his bare finger to your clit. Your hands perch onto his strong arms as he rubs your clit. "There she is, there ya go." He praises you as his finger slides through your slit and collects your seeping arousal.
"Lets remove these, shall we?" With his free hand, he tugs your shorts and panties down. Leaving you there with just your sweater. His eyes turn a shade of black when he sees your bare cunt.
He licks his lips as he kneels down. You lean your back against the door and brace yourself for what's about to come.
He presses his nose into your pussy and you moan aloud. He breathes in your sweet scent and groans. "So good darlin', s'good."
He grabs onto your thighs and pulls one over his shoulder. He smashes his mouth onto your pussy and you arch your back. He licks a stripe from your clit to your weeping seam and sticks his tongue inside.
"Oh god Joel." He smirks against your core as you moan and try to grab onto something. Your hands make their way into his hair as you tug and pull. He groans against you which only sends vibrations flowing throughout your whole body. Making the sensation even better.
He removes one of his hands from your thighs and reaches up to grab onto your breast. Tweaking and poking at the nipple. You whimper as you feel your orgasm nearing.
He can feel it too. The shake of your thighs, the pulse of your cunt, the way your moans seem to be higher in pitch, oh he knows. He carries his tongue back up to your clit and flicks it back and forth, side to side. "J-Joel!" You moan when your orgasm hits you.
Arching your back as far as it can go. Grabbing onto Joel's hair and pulling it so hard it hurts. He drinks up every bit of arousal from your soaking cunt. "Such a good girl."
He stands up and grabs onto your waist. He looks down at your hazy expression and chuckles. You side eye him and groan. You begin to fix your hair and walk out of the bathroom but Joel's hand grabs onto your arm.
"Where do ya think you're goin'? I ain't finished with ya yet." He picks you up and throws you over his shoulders. You kick your legs and smack his back. "Joel! Put me down right now!" He shrugs his shoulders. "Alrighty darlin'." He throws you on the bed and chuckles.
You lie on your back as you death stare him. He crawls over you and gives you a confused look. "What! You told me to put ya down darlin' so that's what I did." You roll your eyes and wrap your arms around his neck.
"You're pathetic." He chuckles and shakes his head. He slowly leans his head down and combines his lips with yours. You groan as you taste yourself on his lips.
His hand flows down your body, tracing every curve and dip in your small frame. His hand meets your pussy once more and he inserts a finger. You arch your back and moan aloud. "Now, about that 'guy'" Your face freezes in shock. Why is he mentioning him now of all times?
He adds a second finger and you can't help but whimper. "How did he fuck you?" He continues his movements and it just feels to good to answer. He would never compare to Joel. "Darlin', ya gonna answer or?" You shake your head as you bite your lip.
"Right." He removes his hands and sits up on the bed. He moves to the edge and pats his thigh. You sit up and rest your arms behind you. "What?" He pats his thigh again. You get up, confused, and walk over to him.
You stand in front of Joel and stare down at him. "Remove your shirt." You do as you're told and take off your shirt and bra. He pats his thigh again and you hover over it. "Sit."
You lower your pussy onto his strong thigh and sigh when they make contact. His rough hands grab onto your waist and starts to move you back and forth. You grind on his thigh as his hands help maneuver you. You moan at the feeling and wrap your arms around his neck.
"There ya go sugar." He praises you as he removes his hands and undoes his button on his jeans. "Now, how did he fuck you" That goddamn question again. Why?
"Uh." You're not quite sure what to say. It was only one night and those are hard to remember.
"Well?" You shallow your eyebrows as an orgasm starts to near. "We made out first, a-and then-" You arch your back as his fingers start to prod at your clit. "Hm?" He looks down at you with a questioning look.
"H-He just layed me down on my back and fucked me like that. That's it Joel." You try your best to sound stern but the feeling only increases. He smirks and kisses your nose. "Great."
You moan and arch your back as you soak his denim jeans below you. He smiles when you breathe deeply and look up at him. He picks you up once more and lays you down on the bed.
He removes his shirt and jeans and crawls over your body. He removes his cock from his boxers and your mouth instantly waters at the sight. He grins as he sees your face and lines himself up with your entrance.
"Ya ready?" You nod your head in desperation as he pushes in. You moan at the intrusion and bite your lip. You wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him thoroughly. He groans into your mouth as he feels your tight cunt adjusting to his size.
"So tight darlin.'" His lips hovering over yours as he begins to move his hips. His pelvis crushes your clit and you arch your back at the sensation.
He's not sure if he can last that long. Watching the way your back arches off the bed, your sweet little sounds you let out for him. He knew you didn't sound like this when you were with that other guy. He would never make you feel as good as Joel.
Feeling your tight little pussy pulse and squeeze his cock only made his orgasm unable to control. He tries to hold it but he's been on the edge for so long. Watching you come, making you come, that only turned him on more.
"Darlin'." He moans as you squeeze his cock once more. "I'm not gonna last long." You smirk at his submissive state and tug at his curls. His thrusts become sloppier and more messy as he thrusts in all the way. "Oh fuck baby-" He groans as he spills his hot seed into your weeping pussy.
He rests his head on your breasts as he regains himself. "M'sorry sweetheart." You look into his eyes with admiration as you admire his cute little state. You run your fingers through his hair and shush him.
He begins to get out of bed and head for the bathroom that he was fixing. He returns with a wash towel and some shorts for you. You thank him and give him a kiss on the lips as he begins to get dressed.
You throw the wash cloth in the hamper and put your shorts and sweater back on.
You stand up and scratch the back of your head. "So, maybe you should get going soon. I can just tell my dad you didn't finish it and you can fix it some other time?"
He stands up and puts his shirt on. He smirks as he sees what your trying to say. "Sure darlin', i'll come back and 'fix' your bathroom."
You roll your eyes and walk out of your room. Joel grabs his bag and tools from the bathroom and throws it over his shoulder. You walk him to the door and he walks out.
"I'll be back, don't be too desperate f'me now, I know you'll miss me. Oh and this." He points down to his jeans and your face turns pink. He's somehow hard again and you can't help but drool.
His thumb wipes your saliva from your mouth and gives you a smirk as he heads to his truck.
You close the door and lean against the back of it.
What have I just done?
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part i part ii part iii
tags!
@guelyury @livingonthehems @ursagittariusgirlfriend @iamsherlocked @heartpascalispunk @pinkcrystal44 @amyispxnk @simplewanderer @tupelomiss @heartramen @kotourasan123 @mermaidgirl30 @brittmb115 @littlevenicebitch69
@sinful-mind-joyful-thoughts @itsokbbygrl @mountainsandmayhem @morallyinept @rav3n-pascal22 @magpiepills @javierpenaispunk
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astrxealis · 2 years ago
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arctic monkeys in the philippines raghh raghhhhhh raghhhhhhhhhh
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i am not going unfortunately but i am going to the 1975 in a. month? or so? two months? SO RAGHHHHHHHHHHH#u see my mom actually asked! heyy are u into them... like late last year and i was like kinda but mostly lune#I DID NOT KNOW THEY WERE GOING HERE UNTIL LAST MONTH !! <- stupid#tbf i only got more into their songs lately too. so yeah#idm not going but i hope everyone going has fun <3 wish i could go too but like i said it's alright!#i wna go to an mcr concert so badly tbh. hope they come here and i convince parents#uhh hozier bet will never go here ... he has never. and i doubt ever will SOBS#so enjoy !! <3#i am just. really excited for may oh my god i die every time i see love it if we made it live online#i will die then ... happily#also i think its cute how i often say 'our' instead of 'my'#uh. out of context doesnt make sense! but basically since i have a twin and we're super close yeah we include each other in almost anything#everything* + funnily sometimes we think scarily similar and really do things uh. yeah#would love to ramble about that another time bcs i'm sure it's uncommon lol not everyone has a twin#some people act normal meeting us some people are so shocked some people tell me they want a twin too and it's all weird and fascinating#how it's the most normal thing in the world for me but what about when people meet one of us and the other later?#and being friends with twins... i wonder how it feels. + we're closer than a lot of twins bcs we're insanely close but fight a TON. so. ya#anyways yeah my classmate once mentioned to me how she thinks its cute how i refer as 'us' and 'ours' even if shes not present then hehe#okay i will play games now... and continue homework later#stress ngl. cramming so badly! but i'll do my best aaa i know i got this
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mintmatcha · 2 months ago
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OMG MINT please continue bc kiri saying again … was he picking up the pieces before w reader ??
cw: Reader is a high school in this part, reader is said to not be conventionally attractive.
Kirishima remembers the first time Sero ever saw you.
He's fumbling with his key ring in the most obvious way he can, letting it swing and jingle around his fingers.
"My parent's won't be back until late tonight, so we can do whatever." Kirishima isn't one to brag, but there's still something cool about being a latchkey kid. He doesn't have Bakugo's big house or all of Denki's gaming systems, but he's got the coolest hang out spot because he has all the privacy they could ever need.
"You bozos should actually study this time-" Bakugo says, slinging his backpack across his shoulders.
Denki groans. "You're so lame-"
"Your grades are lame!"
Kirishima unlocks the door to the apartment when another door across the hall opens. He doesn't turn at first, thinking it's just Mr. Yagami leaving for the night shift-
"Eijiro-"
Kirishima turns at the sound of your voice. Catty corner from him, you're halfway out of your apartment door, still dressed in your wrinkled school uniform. The smile you flash him is timid, mostly covered up the doorframe.
"Hold on, guys."
He walks over to you with a little wave and you produce a familiar set of containers, perfectly cleaned and polished, just like always.
"Tell your mom thank you," you mumble, adjusting your glasses as you speak. Kirishima thinks it's weird that you're being so quiet today, but then your eyes flicker to the group behind him. School's hard for you, he thinks, the other kids aren't very nice to you most of the time. At least, that's what his mom says when you aren't around.
"It was really good, thank you."
"Yeah, don't mention it," Kirishima points back to his gaggle of boys. "These are my friends from school, by the way. Bakugo, Denki, and the tall one's Sero. They're all really cool."
Your face goes weird when he says Sero's name. Not sour or stressed or something he knows, just... funny. Like you've swallowed a lemon whole.
"I'm the only cool one here," Bakugo says.
"Aw, don't listen to this big grump-" Sero throws an arm around Bakugo. "We're pretty okay."
"Hi." With a little wave, you duck back inside your place and let the door close. Kirishima starts to go back to his friends, but for Sero to stop him.
"So, who was that?" Sero asks, a bit too interested for Kirishima's liking. Bakugo bumps his shoulder into the dark haired boy, then shoves his full body weight. Even when Sero stumbles, he keeps looking.
"She's cool, just super shy. My mom gives her food sometimes." He shakes the Tupperware for effect. "She lives by herself because her school's around here."
"Ask her to hang out with us," Sero says.
Denki groans again. "Why would we want some weirdo girl-?"
Sero's already slunk across the hall. Bakugo and Denki share a look and roll their eyes; last summer's growth spurt didn't only give Sero a couple extra inches of height-- it gave him too much confidence and too strong of an interest in girls. Denki could kind of relate, minus the confidence. Thankfully, Bakugo didn't seem to care about women at all.
(Kirishima was thankful for that.)
The blondes both go inside the apartment when Kirishina opens the door, but Sero has already knocked and peeled you out of your shell.
"Hey, we were just thinking-"
That funny look comes over you again- a strained, sloppy smile, own that-
It clicks in Kirishima's head the second Sero leans against the doorframe, one arm extended above his head. You think he's cute.
You think he's very cute.
Sero seems to know it, too.
"I- uh- I-" You're fumbling each word. "I have cram school-"
"Aww-" He runs a hand through his hair with a cool little smile. "What a bummer."
Kirishima's stomach twists at bit, mostly on instinct. He doesn't have strong feelings towards you or anything, but he suddenly feels a surge of protectiveness, like an older sibling watching the younger get whisked away.
You're not even cute, Kirishima thinks, not in the ways that Sero usually goes for. He usually goes for girls without glasses or braces, the types that win beauty pageants and don't have stutters-
Flirting with you just seems... cruel in comparison. It's a game he knows he can win.
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silkscream · 1 month ago
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you're an angel, i'm a dog
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ੈ✩ megumi fushiguro x reader
ੈ✩ synopsis: megumi comes home to you.
ੈ✩ tags: fem reader (gets called a girl and wears lingerie), established relationship, fingering, unprotected sex, teasing, mentions of masturbation, megumi is bad at feelings
ੈ✩ wc: 2.5k (what the fuck)
ੈ✩ a/n: its me n megumi n the dog metaphor against the world sorry. yes like the mitski song. could be considered a part 2 of this
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Your heart beats faster as you fix the blanket atop the couch. Your mind is calm, but your body isn’t, as if anticipating his return.
Megumi is coming home today.
It’s been less than a week – maybe four days. You weren’t counting. You insist. But he said that it would only be two days.
You feel tense upon his return since things had gone sour the last time you spoke. You were being clingy again, overbearing. Sometimes you wanted to stitch yourself to him and he couldn’t take it.
Your blood stills when you hear the knob to the door of his apartment jiggling. You stayed there often instead of your dorm – he gave you a key. 
He’d let you move in if it was an easier process. The apartment was in Gojo’s name, but it’s mostly Megumi’s. He wasn’t going to get your name on the lease to the apartment Gojo paid for. He wouldn’t, not now, at least. Megumi felt crazy for even thinking about it when you’ve only been official for six months.
He unlocks the door and steps inside, a thinly veiled cloud of irritation surrounding him from having to deal with Gojo post-mission. His eyes land on you on the couch, wearing a new lingerie set.
You think you see his eyes widen in surprise for a fraction of a second. He schools it back to a facade of stoicism as quickly as his expression of desire leaves.
“Hey,” you say softly.
“Hey,” he mutters. 
You ask him about his mission and he tells you. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to talk about anything so openly that you get to see his feelings, so you take in every expression he makes like it’s something intimate. Maybe for him, it is.
He’s short with his responses. Eyes looking everywhere but you.
“You okay?” you prod.
“Yeah… just, uh–” he exhales and glances at you before looking away. “Distracted.”
“Distracted?” you snort. “Does that mean my efforts of seducing you are paying off?”
His brows raise slightly at your boldness, a faint blush dusting over his cheeks. “Perhaps.”
“C’mon,” you pout. “Is that all you have to say?”
He exhales and properly looks at you this time. You’re wearing a mix of satin and lace – all a sage green, just a touch lighter than the color of his eyes right now. He’d blame it on the dim lighting, but his black pupils are swallowing up his irises, his eyes looking dark forest green from afar.
A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of Megumi's lips. "Alright," he says, feigning a tone of aloofness. "I suppose you look... tolerable."
You scoff. “Tolerable?”
“Yes, tolerable,” he chuckles. “Some might even say pretty.”
“Does that include you?” you mumble.
“Yes. Of course, it does.”
He says it kindly. Like throwing a dog a bone.
It’s funny how much you’re trying. You’re almost as quiet as him, though more eager to come out of your shell around your friends. He liked that you thought this would be a grand gesture instead of telling him you missed him. He’ll tease it out of you anyway. You think you’re doing the same to him.
In bed, you’re often wet-eyed, pouty. Pliable. You don’t know how to ask for what you want, thinking that Megumi must not want you as much as you want him. It’s cute. He can always tell when you’re horny by the way your hands fidget around him. How your stares linger with suppressed longing.
Megumi knows because he’s just like you. He’s just more attuned. He won’t tell you, not directly, but he also likes to tease you a little.
It shouldn’t get him hard, the way you want him so desperately yet try so hard to contain it. You think it would disgust him, but in reality, he wants you even more. It’s beyond disgust or dignity at this point.
He supposes it’s the sense of control he craves. You tease him often for being a control freak and for being so serious during missions. He can’t help it — his technique forces him to be a leader, herding around his shikigami. His Divine dogs adore him.
He notices that, like them, you are eager to please.
You look at him sheepishly, embarrassed of the elaborate display of your body. You don’t feel like you’ve won anything even though he called you pretty. Technically.
Megumi’s eyes soften when he realizes how easily you’re giving up. 
“Um,” you mumble, reaching for one of his hoodies draped over the chair. “Are you hungry? I thought we could do takeout and watch movies–”
“What’re you doing?” He interrupts you, glancing at the hoodie you’re starting to put on.
You blush and his cock twitches in his slacks.
“Nothing… just–”
“Come here,” he commands, his voice rough. You make a small noise of surprise as you fall into his lap, the oversized hoodie drowning your frame.
He notices you smell strongly of roses – one of the perfumes you break out for special occasions. He also notices the slight gloss of your lips.
“You smell nice.”
You blink at him, embarrassed. He looks at you in adoration and amusement.
Before you can get out a thank you, he leans in and inhales, nose nudging at your collarbone. He wants to bite you above it, but you’ve put on his damn sweatshirt.
You shiver when his hands reach underneath to splay over your abdomen, right over the lace. 
“Why’d you cover up?” he chides lightly.
“It’s… cold,” you mumble. He knows you’re lying.
“I’ll warm you up, then.” 
You gasp lightly when he nearly tears the hoodie off you, your nipples pebbling to the cool air. His hands graze your ribs to your hips. His eyes flicker with something predatory when he notices the wet stain on the delicate fabric of your underwear.
“Don’t hide from me.”
“I– I wasn’t,” you huff. “I just thought you weren’t… y’know. In the mood or something.”
He laughs.
“You’re cute. Thinking I don’t want you.”
You glare at him. He thinks you resemble an angry kitten. 
“Well, you didn’t react to me when you walked in, so…”
“You don’t have to dress up for me. I do like this, though.” He rubs his hands over your breasts and you reflexively preen into his touch. You look away, assuming he’s just saying this to appease you.
He’s telling the truth, though. Megumi is so good at controlling his expressions that you hadn’t even noticed the hitch of his breath when he walked into the room. It was bad enough to be around you, finding you desirable during mundane moments, like when your bedhead emerges in the morning as he makes coffee. The determined look on your face during a mission when you hone in on your cursed energy.
Hell, he’s gotten hard just watching you read a book. Seeing you like this was something else entirely. 
He sighs as he cradles you in his lap, mouth nipping at your collarbone as if to admonish you. You’re so warm, everywhere, and he’s about to snap from the way his cock strains against the confines of his pants.
“Did you miss me?” you whisper.
He pauses, lashes fluttering against your neck. He isn’t the kind of person who says he misses you. He rarely holds your hand. Ignores your use of corny emojis. But then, he pulls away slightly to look at you wholly, and his green eyes are blown out with desire. 
“Having no service the whole time was a bitch,” he mutters. 
You hum. “So you didn’t get any of the funny videos I sent?” you pout.
He rolls his eyes and shuts you up with a kiss. He’s always careful at first when he kisses you like you’re breakable in his hands, but this time, it’s like lighting a match. He pins you against the couch like he’s starved. Days without seeing your face and hearing your voice made him feel insane.
He groans as you cling to him. He loves how you’re as desperate as he is. Trying to mold your bodies together. He’s impatient to unclasp your bra and fiddle with your garter and underwear. He likes you in the set, but he likes the simplicity of skin-to-skin contact much more.
Megumi splits you open easily on his fingers. He didn’t know what it was like to be so passionate about pleasing another person until he met you, and since your first time, he’s addicted to every reaction you make. He has it all memorized, every spot that makes you moan out. He supposes it’s overly clinical to think about sex that way, but control has been his strong suit for far too long, and you seem to like it far too much.
You whine as your hips buck up, the curl of his fingers already hitting the spot inside your cunt that makes you dizzy.
Once you cum, you’re frantic in helping him undress. You blink at the small bruises that align his abs, frowning slightly, but he knows to shut you up with his tongue in your mouth and his cock rubbing against your slit. He grins when you moan.
“Want me inside you, huh?” he whispers in your ear, his tone almost threatening. “This all you could think about while I was gone?”
“Y-Yes—”
“Yeah? My baby can’t help but cling to me like a little pet.”
You whimper his name, humiliated. He rubs your clit gently and you gasp. After nuzzling your neck, he pulls back and hovers to admire how wrecked you are. He smiles and your cunt pulsates with want. He always looks a little mean when he wants you.
“Can I tell you a secret?” he rasps.
You nod.
“I kinda like it when you’re clingy. I like knowing it’s me you want and nobody else.”
Your eyes flutter, pressure building in your stomach from the warmth seizing your body. You’re so close just from him playing with your clit. When he retracts his fingers, you whine.
Usually, he scolds you or teases you, but he fucks into you instead, without warning. Groans when he bottoms out, knowing how well you fit together. He’s carved you in his image – you’re perfect around him. 
He doesn’t talk much during sex, not usually, but he wants to indulge you. Reward you with what makes your face hot, what gets you wet at night.
“Good girl,” he mutters. “Good fucking girl—”
You moan so loud he has half the mind to cover your mouth. His stomach flips. He hooks a thumb into your mouth and watches your eyes water in delight. It makes him ache all over with tenderness.
He ruts into you quicker, hips slapping against yours as he uses his other hand to lift your leg. You feel your head spin with how deep he’s getting, feeling him up to your rapidly beating rabbit heart. Lungs tightening with pressure. 
“Oh, god—” you moan, your voice pitched. 
He grunts, your pussy swallowing his cock in a bed of warmth. You feel impossibly tight. Tethering him to you. He doesn’t usually get this rough unless he’s stressed. He wants to be gentle.
But fuck, he hated that mission. He hated being in the middle of nowhere, with no service, with only Gojo of all people to keep him company. With only thoughts of you to warm him at night when he had his hand wrapped around his cock.
“Missed this, huh?
“Y-Yeah– missed you–”
He chuckles darkly. It wasn’t what he asked, but it’s easy to make you a desperate girl.
“Megumi,” you whine. “Missed you. Missed you so much.”
“I know, baby.”
“Tell me you missed me,” you mumble.
“You know I did.” His tone is mildly dismissive but the softness in his voice makes you keen regardless. He soothes you with a tongue to your jaw, thumbs hooked on your hips like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.
“You touch yourself while I was gone?’ he mutters, slowing his thrusts as he peers at you with dark, vulturine eyes.
You blink rapidly, unsure of what the right answer is. He slides out until his tip is brushing the inside of you, then slams himself to the brim of your cunt. He grins when you mewl.
“Yes – fuck–
“Language,” he scolds, smiling. He holds your chin in his hand. “So honest. I thought about you too.”
He feels you flutter around him and groans.
“Can you show me?” he grunts.
“Hm?” You’re barely conscious of yourself when you’re full of him, face cradled by him – his angel on Earth. It’s times like this when he feels justified to tease you and call you his pet. Despite never admitting it, he belongs to you more than you belong to him. 
“Touch yourself. I wanna see.”
You bring a shaky hand in between your bodies to circle your clit, legs trembling at the extra stimulation. Megumi can feel his gut searing at how your face contorts in pleasure, gasps hiccuping out of your mouth like bubbles when he presses his knuckles down gently on your stomach. 
He’s more than willing to sink deeper and deeper into you. Your warmth and wetness and softness help him obscure all the jagged parts of himself. He can forget.
“Feels so fucking good,” he groans. “So good, baby.”
You moan and babble incoherently as you take him, fucked out of your mind. 
You’re fucking close. He’s coaxed both of your legs up and onto his shoulders. You can feel him dig into the most sensitive parts of you. You feel drunk on the feeling of his cock. 
It seems that your pulses are synced because he smiles at you knowingly. He knows all your expressions, the slight constriction of your cunt around him when you’re on the edge.
He leans in close to whisper in your ear. “Gonna cum, angel?”
“M-mhm… can you– hah–”
“Yeah?” he breathes.
“Faster,” you hum. “Just like – oh, fuck –”
His hips buck and you pulse around him, letting out a choked gasp as you come. Fuck, he should pull out. Going raw was only a recent development, mostly because you’re very persuasive, but he usually likes to pull out and spill onto your stomach. Your tits if he’s feeling more pent-up.
He can’t find it in himself to not come inside you right now, though. You feel too good and he doesn’t want to ruin the buildup of what will be the most relief he’ll have in days of not touching you. 
Your face is begging him, taunting him. His eyes flutter as he finally lets himself go, grunting as he spills inside you. He doesn’t realize until after he pulls out how tight his grip on you is. He falls back on his knees, watching your heavy-lidded eyes examine his glistening cock.
“Wow. You really did miss me, huh?” you laugh.
“Shut up,” he mumbles.
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tastesousweet · 6 months ago
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⭒ blurb : podcasting
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bf!hamzah x poc!reader
summary: based on this ask!!! little blurb of the times you pop up on the ooc podcast
mickey speaks: this was so funny to write!!! also i need to be hamzah's gf yesterday bitch
─────────── · · ୨୧ · · ───────────
hamzah having you in an episode with mandy and martin
“oh wow this couch gets kinda tight when four people are squeezed on here” hamzah says while adjusting a few pillows
“yeah,” martin starts before addressing the audience, “and, well, you’re probably wondering ‘who the heck is that?!’” he gestures his hand over to you, beside hamzah with your legs folded and knees lying against his thigh
you can’t help but smile as hamzah introduces you, “and, yeah, believe it or not i have a girlfriend.”
“i’m right next to you so i’d hope they believe it” give a soft giggle
“only hamzah would announce he has a girlfriend with ‘believe it or not’” mandy adds and hamzah throws a hand up in the air in defeat
martin: “i can’t help but think this feels like in middle school when people were just group dating all the time”
hamzah: “was group dating that common? i don’t remember that”
you: “i remember certain friend groups at my school doing that but i definitely wasn't participating”
mandy: “this isn’t really a group though martin, more like a double date? there’s four of us”
martin: "it's not all about numbers mandy sometimes there's just a vibe"
martin: “but you two have been dropping hints about dating for a while now”
you: “yeah, we’ve been doing a little soft launching here and there”
martin: “i like that term a lot actually”
mandy: “i think it’s cute, but i've seen a lot of people online that don't use it properly”
you: "i agreeeee, like you didn't soft launch by posting the back of his head if we already saw the front of it a week ago- we know who he is!!! there is no mystery"
martin: "oh so the appeal is the mystery... almost like scooby doo?"
hamzah, nodding his head: "mhm... exactly"
you: "it's always two dumb bitches telling each other-"
you and hamzah together: "exactlyyyyy"
martin looks over to mandy as the two of you laugh: "oh come on this is their first episode together and look at them mandy! we have to be cuter, come on. lock in."
hamzah: "hey no need to be jealous, my friend."
hamzah pats martins thigh
mandy: "so what was that right there?"
hamzah: "you wouldn't understand..."
martin: "no but seriously mandy you never soft launched me- only hard"
mandy: "there was no need to??? next time i'll do it i guess"
you, laughing: "next time???"
hamzah is sat in thought for an extra second before he replies to martin, making them both laugh
hamzah: “okay martin you said like that term so much? boy, now imma soft launch these nuts in your mouth”
you: "and i know you were thinking on that joke for a minute"
martin, through laughs: “okay, okay, enough”
hamzah, wiping his eyes: “well, now the jig is up. you know it's all aired out and public”
martin: “yeah... a hard launch on the podcast, that’s crazy bro”
you and mandy, mocking: “that’s craaazzyy brooo”
hamzah answering your call during a podcast
martin: “hamzah whenever you buy clothes from the store or get it shipped in the mail always wash your clothes!”
hamzah: “i do wash my clothes but if it’s new that doesn’t make any sense”
martin: “so you’re just gonna open it up and put it on?”
hamzah: “yes!”
hamzah’s phone starts ringing
martin: “and wow. now look who’s breaking the phone rule!”
hamzah: “stop shhh. it’s y/n”
he answers, hamzah: “hey what’s up?”
you see the mic in his hand and widen your eyes, you: “oh shit, i’m sorry to interrupt”
hamzah: “it’s okay i have something to ask you now anyway.”
you: "okayy.. do you wanna go first or me?"
hamzah: "you go ahead"
you: "okay quick- is this business casual enough for an event tonight?"
hamzah: "nobody is doing business lookin' that hot, you can't be serious"
you: "kay thanks"
hamzah, jokes: "you are not anyone's office siren, girl"
you: "i'm gonna hang up"
hamzah: "no!!! i need to ask if you wash your clothes after you buy them."
you: "if they smell like stale water and factory chemicals, yes"
hamzah: "martin is educating me on the importance of this unimportant thing right now."
you: "and you should listen to him, stinky"
martin: "thank you!"
hamzah: "oh nahhh, now i'm gonna hang up"
you: "mkayy bye, sorry for interrupting! bye martin!!!"
martin: "byee"
you drop something off at the warehouse studio while they’re filming
hamzah: "what was that noise?"
martin: "i don't know..."
hamzah: "it sounds like someone's actually trying to break in, what?"
martin: "were you expecting company?"
hamzah: "no, were you?"
martin: "no...i mean let's ask the audience"
martin turns to the camera, concerned
hamzah: "okay i'm actually about to go check. this is weird."
it cuts to a clip of hamzah sat again and you peeking your head in the frame to wave
hamzah: "nevermind. it was just my sweet girlfriend bringing us lunch, sorry if that scared you guys."
martin: "should we make like a super artifical thumbnail for clickbait? somethin' like; 'someone tried to kidnap us in our studio!'
hamzah: "no"
they have a trolling episode where you and mandy both sub in and act as martin and hamzah for an entire episode
mandy: "you know i find it crazy how we manage to talk about nothing for an entire hour"
you: "this is the talent people expect from us bro! and if we ever get too boring we can always discuss the state of sabrina and barry's relationship."
mandy: "true. and don't make fun of me but everytime man-crush monday comes around i'm always picking barry..."
you: "well if i can't make fun of you then i'll just stay quiet for your sake."
taglist -★ (some of u didn't ask to be tagged but have frequently liked my hamzah content lol, just lmk if you'd prefer not to be tagged!!!)
@sirenedeslily @333michelle @thatmartinkitten @@maybankfr @imsosillygoofylol @certainfestivalnerdshepherd
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loaksky · 2 years ago
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— 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘶𝘴
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the deets — in which you, a quiet healer in the tribe, have the biggest crush on the upcoming leader. sometimes you think the feelings could be mutual. until one night in the glowing forest shatters that.
the who — neteyam x fem omatikaya!reader
the word count — like 7.6k (jesus h. christ)
the tags — idiots-to-lovers (it's teyam, he's the dummy), childhood friends-to-lovers, one-sided pining (reader is a softie).
the warnings — language, a lil kithy kithy, neteyam's emotionally constipated, but he redeems himself! reader's kind of a pushover, but it comes full circle!
the notes — first post for avatar & i'm really excited but a lil nervous bc like ??? i haven't written fanfic in SO long. i imagine neteyam & reader to be a few years older in this fic (eighteen or nineteen), but at the same time the circumstances could fit their current age as well. finally, this is written in a heinous blend of second / third. don't know how to explain, but i think it flows okay? if you like it please leave a request or let's have a chat! (also barely proofread oops).
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YOU AND NETEYAM HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN DISTANT ORBIT. Many would argue the two of you are cut from the same cloth; quiet, noble, mature, but you couldn't feel even more disconnected from the tribe's golden boy even if a chasm would crack the earth between you.
It's why you think it's silly that you'd develop such a yearning, your heart thudding like a war drum every time his amber eyes flit to yours. There's never any weight to his gaze, just fleeting glances among frequent observation, but you can't help but stare.
It doesn't help that his youngest siblings cling to you like a second and third skin, chattering excitedly about whatever piques their immediate interest. You just listen and hum your acknowledgements, a comfort to the two as you move through your studies.
Oftentimes he's sent to fetch his siblings, clearing his throat outside of the tent's flaps to announce himself, then wiggling a few fingers through the opening before peering in.
He's always in a hurry, never biting when you offer him opportunities to linger. You understand, how busy it can be when the whole clan begins to rely on you. So you bask in the short-lived moments in his space, skin scented with salt and the tang of the foliage.
But there are moments when you truly think he sees you. When you cross paths during clan meals, and the smallest of smiles twitches in his lips when you cut fruit and he's the first you offer to. When it's time to train to shoot your bows and he adjusts your form with a brief brush of his fingers on your elbow. When all of the older healers are unavailable and he shyly peeks his head into your tent for a quick patch up.
Nevermind the small tells stored in your short-term, but the little slivers of time when you were both growing into yourselves. When you were seven and he'd carried you to the elders when you hurt yourself. When some of the older kids in the clan would pick on you for keeping to yourself and he'd tell them that it was unbecoming and cowardly to pick on someone weaker than them. When he picked a flower during a group excursion into the deep depths of the forest and stuck the glowing stem in your satchel.
You had fallen so hard for Neteyam and your only hope is that he'd be at the end of the fall to catch you.
“You're not listening, ________!” Tuk whines and you look up from the scrolls you unfurled from the basket moments before she walked in.
“Sorry,” you murmur. “I have a lot on my mind.”
There's a small giggle from somewhere else in the tent and you peer from Tuk to Kiri who beads an anklet on her own.
“Yeah, like big brother,” Tuk teases, turning her attention back to her own beadwork.
Kiri's face splits into a grin.
“You've been lost in thought a lot more recently,” she observes. “Could Tuk be correct?”
You don't bother to deny it, the obvious flush in your cheeks a dead giveaway. Kiri's always been perceptive and the more you fight her on it, the longer she'll draw it out.
“I think it's worth a shot,” Kiri says. “Neteyam’s always had a soft spot for you.”
It's a million degrees hotter in the tent.
“You don't have to do that,” you say quietly, slouching in your seat.
“Do what?” Kiri challenges.
“Pretend I have a chance.”
Kiri makes a face.
“You do!” she argues. “Neteyam's just shy.”
You're silent for a moment, fingers twitching over a tear in the scroll. You want to believe her, tell her that you think it could be worth a shot, too. But you scent him before you hear him, and then you hear him before you see him.
Four blue fingers wiggle in the tent's opening before Neteyam is poking his head inside.
“Tuk? Kiri?” his voice rumbles. “Ready?”
Kiri glances at you as she stands to her feet and begins gathering her things. Her eyebrows do a little dance, eyes widening as she tilts her head discreetly to her brother.
“I'll see you,” you say quietly, patting Tuk on the back of her leg as she drops her finished anklet in your lap and giggles at you.
You follow their movements as they exit the tent through where Neteyam holds the flap open for them patiently.
He simply lifts a hand as a silent greeting and you wait until they're out of sight and earshot to expel the breath you'd been holding and slump down on your pillow.
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In hindsight, you should have been more careful. Neteyam was a skillful hunter, the tribe's best warrior after his father. It's only normal that he'd be in the dense forest when you were plucking flowers and herbs for your salves, speaking quietly to Eywa about your concerns.
“Please, Great Mother,” you whisper, the woodsprites caressing the skin of your arms. "Please give me a sign, any form of motivation to be brave about my feelings."
The grass below your toes lights up and tickles the pads of your fingers as you pluck the glowing flowers.
There's a trail of them, purple and pink, and you pluck and pluck and pluck until you're led to the mouth of a clearing.
Something salty and tangy circles your figure and like usual, you scent him before you see him. When your gaze latches onto his lithe figure, you grin a little, lips parting to announce yourself. This must be your sign, of how vast and great the forests are surrounding your looming home tree, it must be fate that you stumble upon him at this hour.
But his name dies on your tongue when he shifts and you see the silhouette of another pressed to his side.
It's another Omaticaya girl, pretty and tall. You'd know her anywhere, the waves of her thick hair, the tinkle of her dainty laugh. But she is fierce all the same, far from perfect, but gritty enough that it doesn't matter.
Te'feyra draws a bow and one of Neteyam's hands come up to adjust her front grasp, fingers closing over hers and the arrow.
“Steady hands to make up for the recoil,” he says softly and your heart is in your throat.
He's engulfing her as she takes her aim and sends the arrow flying through the air.
Somewhere unknown to you, the arrow sticks its landing and Te'feyra jumps excitedly, pressing her lips to Neteyam's briefly.
You back away from the clearing, eyes burning as you fist the flowers so hard they wilt in your hands. A twig snaps underneath your weight and from your distance, you see the glow of Neteyam and Te'feyra's eyes through the brush.
You take off running without a single word, and despite your stomach tearing itself to ribbons, you thank Eywa for the clarity.
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“Something's wrong,” Kiri says to you days later.
Instead of the tent, you two are sitting on opposing branches of a thick tree, observing the flora and fauna of your corner of the forest. You decide that you need some time away from the bustle of the clan's circle and venture off into the opposite side of the woods.
“Why do you say?” you wonder, scribbling onto one of your scrolls.
“You're naturally quiet, I get that, but the past few days, I feel like I've been in the presence of the dead,” she sighs, staring down at you from the branch above. “And Ewya's given me the feeling that all may not be well with you.”
You lick your teeth, then roll your lips nervously.
“I told you Neteyam didn't like me,” you admit.
Kiri's eyebrows furrow.
“What are you talking about?”
“I saw him,” you sigh, fiddling with your pen. “In the forest with Te'feyra. She kissed him.”
Kiri curses under her breath.
“This is stupid,” she huffs. “He's just being stupid. Neteyam likes you and I'm going to prove it.”
You open your mouth to protest, but Kiri's already jumping down from the branches of the tree and dragging you with her through the darkening forest.
“Kiri, this isn't necessary,” you finally pipe up. “It's okay if the feeling isn't mutual, I never expected it to be.”
Kiri stops in her tracks and her pinched face softens, braids swinging by the set of her jaw.
“________, we all grew up together,” she says softly. “I know my brother, and I know you. You two belong together, I feel it.”
You swallow around nothing, allowing her to drag you through the forest and back into the clan's main circle.
“Hey, Kiri! ________, where are you two headed off to in such a rush?” one of the elders calls from where they're working on tools.
Kiri smiles politely.
“Very important business,” she replies quickly, fingers tightening around your wrist to pull you across the grass.
You stop in front of their family's hometree and Kiri guides you through vines and steep inclines before pausing in front of their family's tent.
Lo'ak's voice sounds from within, whiny and irritated.
“Bro, are you being serious right now?” he squeaks and Neteyam grunts, obviously bored.
“Frankly, Lo'ak this has nothing to do with you,” he says.
“Dude, yes it does,” Lo'ak argues. “You've inadvertently involved everyone in this affair because you won't get your head out of your ass for three seconds and just admit that you like her.”
“I don't like, ________,” he says simply and Kiri freezes in front of you.
You chew the inside of your cheek, fingers twitching in Kiri's loosened hold.
“Who are you trying to convince?” Lo'ak moans. “You're really going to commit to Te'feyra even though you have no interest in her?”
“Te'feyra is a great huntress,” Neteyam says simply. “She's well-loved, a strong leader. What's there not to like?”
“________ is all of those things,” Lo'ak says. “She's a talented healer, always patches you up when you get yourself in trouble. The clan loves her, Tuk and Kiri love her, Mom and Dad love her.”
“The clan barely knows that ________ exists,” Neteyam says and you wince.
Kiri makes a move to infiltrate the heated conversation, but you put a hand on her shoulder and shake your head.
“Dude, that's low,” Lo'ak scoffs in disbelief.
“________ is a sweet girl, but she's weak. She's hollow and does what she's told. I wouldn't want to spend my life bonded to someone so passive,” Neteyam says plainly and Lo'ak lets out an exasperated hiss.
“You're kidding right? ________ is amazing,” Lo'ak challenges. “She's quiet, but she's caring. She's resilient and intelligent and anyone would be lucky to be bonded to someone like her, your stupid ass included.”
“Maybe you should focus more on training for your rite rather than trying to play matchmaker,” Neteyam says, showing the first signs of annoyance.
“You just won't admit that for the first time you're scared,” Lo'ak finally says.
Everything seems to still and Lo'ak presses on.
“Everyone loves you, you're the clan's golden child and you can do no wrong. You like ________ so much, but you're afraid that you'll let her down,” Lo'ak says fiercely. “But you don't realize that being a pussy about your feelings is the ultimate let down!”
“You'd know a lot about being a let down, wouldn't you,” Neteyam grumbles.
There's a split second of silence before Neteyam lets out a loud grunt of pain. The flap to their tent flies open and Lo'ak freezes before you and Kiri.
His eyes meet yours and his gaze softens before stalking past.
Neteyam stands stunned in the middle of the tent, lip bruised and bleeding. His gaze swings to the arch way, face falling when he finds you standing behind his younger sister.
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“Wanna go swimming?” Tuk asks you the next evening, after dinner.
You smile down at her weakly, heart melting when she pets your hand. You can't deny her, nodding gently as you stand from where you're sitting on the outer circle of the scattered clan.
“Carry me?” she asks sweetly.
You heave her up with a grunt and she grins at you, playing with one of the braids in your hair. Her small fingers caress the skin of your cheek and you blink when she ghosts over your eyelid.
“Pretty,” she whispers, head nestling on your shoulder.
“I think you're prettier,” you tell her, readjusting her growing form as you walk through the brush, towards the rush of the waterfall.
You don't realize that there's a set of eyes on you, watching as you disappear through the trees with Tuk.
The cliff that houses the waterfall towers above you two in a semicircle, the water rippling gently as Tuk squirms from your grasp and splashes through the shallow pool.
“Stay close, Tuk,” you coo, toes wiggling through the pebbles washed up on the tiny shore.
“I've been practicing!” Tuk tells you. “Wanna see how long I can hold my breath under water?”
“Stay in shallow waters,” you advise her, wading into the pool until you're waist deep.
Tuk dramatically inhales and then sinks down under the surface. Something cracks in the distance and you glance around, met with the stillness of the forest and the chirp of bugs.
When you turn your attention back to Tuk, you smile fondly as you wait for her to emerge, counting the seconds diligently to report to her chubby cheeks.
Fifteen pass, then thirty. Your smile begins to fade as your arms feel around in the water around you.
“Tuk?” you call out, chest tightening when you're met with the subtle rush of the glittering cascade from the waterfall up above.
You push forward in the water until your chin touches the surface.
“Tuktirey!” you shout, thrashing around the pool, searching for her tiny frame through the illumination. “Tuk!”
Your toes lose purchase as the water deepens and you begin to panic without the youngest Sully in sight. You turn when you hear a splash, Tuk giggling on the shore.
Your stomach churns hard and Tuk's face falls when she sees your panicked expression.
“Tuk, I-I can't swim well!” you cry out, legs flailing as you splash through the water. You try to dig your toes in the earth below, but you're just shy of the mark.
Tuk looks scared on the shore, fidgeting as she looks around desperately.
“You're too deep, ________!” Tuk whines, voice laced with tears.
Your legs ache, head lolling under the water for a moment before you emerge with a splutter.
“Get– Go get help!” you instruct her, feeling your calves begin to burn as you try to keep yourself afloat. You don't know how long you'll be able to tread water. “I'll be okay, little one. Hurry!”
Tuk turns, picking up her satchel as she makes way for the path you took. When she's out of sight, you fall slack, chest heaving as you try to use your skinny arms to paddle at the water.
Meanwhile, Tuktirey runs through the forest, tears spilling down her rounded cheeks as she trips over sprawling roots and nudges low-hanging vines from the pathway.
She skids to a stop when Neteyam, who had finally worked up the nerve to excuse himself from dinner, comes into view.
He turns when he hears her wailing, face scrunching when he registers his youngest sibling's anguish.
“Tuk, wha—”
She grabs at his hands, tugging him towards the path to the waterfall.
“________ needs help!” she cries. “She can't swim!”
Neteyam's ears prick at the mention of your name, scooping up his youngest sibling in his arms before breaking into a sprint through the brush of the brightening forest. The woodsprites begin to emerge and he barrels into the clearing of the waterfall breathlessly.
It's still, like it's been untouched and his heart hammers nervously in his chest, eyes searching the pool for any sign of you.
He's setting Tuk down quickly before splash desperately into the water.
“_______!” he calls.
He ducks underneath the surface, eyes open wide as he searches for you. And there you are, body slack as you sink slowly to the bottom of the rocky pool.
He dives forward, lungs burning as he cuts through the waters with lean arms. His fingers circle one of your wrists, the other hand winding around your waist as he propels you two up above the water. He chokes on a breath, hand coming up to touch your face.
Your head lolls to the side, eyes shut as Neteyam holds you close.
“Neteyam!” Te'feyra calls from the shore, having followed him after being rebuffed during dinner.
Kiri and Lo'ak are close behind, eyes wide when they see their eldest brother wading quickly through the waters with your unconscious form in his arms.
“Neteyam,” Te'feyra repeats, hand coming to grasp his bicep.
“Not now,” he grunts, tugging his arm from her grasp to march through the brush of the forest.
Woodsprites surround you two as he takes you back to the village, a silent plea to the Great Mother not to take you away weighing heavy on his lips.
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You awake to a shining sun and a wet towel on your head. You squint against the beaming light and sit up abruptly as the prior night dawns you like a swift strike to the gut.
“Whoa, wait, slow down,” a thick voice rumbles.
You scent him before you see him.
Neteyam's hands are on you, guiding you back to rest on the pile of pillows that had propped you up before.
You shoot up again anyways.
“Where's Tuk?” you ask anxiously.
“Tuk's fine,” Neteyam says. “She's eating breakfast with Kiri and Mom.”
You lean back in relief, eyes squeezing shut as you wheeze out a sigh.
His hands are on you again, gentle, warm as he takes the towel from your forehead and wipes your face to refresh you.
“Are you okay?” he asks quietly, hesitantly.
You pause a moment, but then nod.
“Yeah,” you affirm hoarsely. “M'fine.”
Neteyam just stares at you, yellow eyes unblinking and you know this isn't like one of those fleeting moments. He sees you and it makes your gut churn hard.
“I'll be okay here,” you say quietly. “You may have...someone, you know, waiting for you.”
Te'feyra's name is a silent implication and Neteyam doesn't look amused.
“I told them I would look after you until you're fully well,” he counters, wringing the towel into a bowl that sits next to the mound of blankets your rest on.
You fiddle with your fingers, fully disheartened because even in times like these, he remains the diligent leader-in-training that he is.
The air in the tent is think and you can't breathe.
“I'd like some air,” you whisper, crawling from the soft mat to climb to your feet shakily.
“You need to rest,” Neteyam says crossly, seemingly annoyed at your persistence to put as much distance as you can between the two of you.
You don't respond and finally he seems to burst.
“You can't swim and yet you still went after Tuk,” he calls after you like an accusation. “Why?”
You pause.
“Tuk is like a sister to me,” you say quietly. “I would never let anything happen to her.”
You make a move to exit the tent, but Neteyam's voice stops you in your tracks.
“You could have died,” he says quietly, and you can't place the emotion in his voice.
“I'd do it again,” you admit, craning your neck to face him. “I'm not that weak.”
Neteyam's face falls and you duck from the tent.
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Neteyam becomes restless after that moment. He loses his focus, agility taking a hit as he hunts one on one with his father.
He goes to shoot another arrow, but Jake stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Neteyam, I know I can be hard on you,” he starts. “But I’m always here.”
“Yes sir,” Neteyam nods.
“Something’s bothering you,” Jake observes. “You’re not yourself. You’re losing focus.”
Neteyam swallows.
“Sorry, sir,” he says, head hanging.
His braids form a curtain around his face and Jake gives his shoulder a squeeze.
“Son?”
Neteyam swallows again, head tilting up to look is dad in the face.
“I don’t want to be with Te’feyra,” he admits quietly.
Jake's lips twitch.
“Well I could have told you that,” Jake scoffs, the corner of his lips twitching into a soft smile. “You look about as dead as a washed up fish when she’s around.”
Neteyam recalls the kiss she’d given him nights ago and how he'd internally recoiled, body stiff under her touch.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats.
“Why are you sorry?” Jake prods.
“Because I know Te’feyra is who the clan wants me to be with, who is my most suitable match,” he says. “I just— I don't want to let you down.”
Jake gives him an impish grin.
“Neteyam, let me give you a word of advice. There are things in this world that are suited well for each other; you and Te'feyra are one of those things. But your heart and your mind are the two most powerful things about you,” he says. “You will not be punished for giving into your heart.”
Neteyam thinks of you. He thinks of your face, the lines of your timid smile, the idents that dimple your cheeks. He thinks of your touch when he's wounded, gentle and expert, warm against his skin. He thinks of your voice, airy, soft, a low rasp.
He thinks of when he'd called you weak. Of your face, wounded and hurt. He's stricken in this moment as he realizes that strength doesn't have to be audacious. It can be quiet, small acts that become mighty.
Tuk had told him about the waterfall, how she'd wanted to pull your leg a little. You'd accepted your fate if Ewya deemed it time, you'd even sent the youngest away in the chance you wouldn't surface.
You were far from weak. Your strength ran nearly as deep as the roots of Ewya herself, yet you'd taken the criticism in stride. Let Neteyam paint you as a coward, a pushover with no spine.
“I think there’s someone you need to clear the air with,” Jake says after a few moments of silence. “She should be in her tent.”
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Neteyam's hands are clammy. It's been nearly a week since he'd last seen you. You'd reserved to spending time inside of your tent to brush up on your studies and refine your work. He'd catch glimpses of you, but you were used to blending in the background and Neteyam's used to overlooking you.
Was he being presumptuous? Maybe you only admired him as a warrior. Or perhaps it was a duty to the clan to revere him. He feels sick to his stomach thinking of confronting you. But Lo'ak wouldn't try to convince him of his own feelings if it wasn't mutual, would he?
And when had the feelings become mutual? He's recently began to think that perhaps he'd always liked you because you were the only one who didn't actively vie for his affection. Who only saw him as Neteyam, an equal, not Neteyam, the Olo’eyktan's son.
Maybe it was whenever he'd see you wandering in the forest during his hunting trips, murmuring to yourself as you picked herbs and flowers for you studies. Or maybe when he'd spot you still high on the branches of the lofty trees with a tablet of paper and ink. Maybe it was when you'd smile at him shyly when he'd adjust your form during archery and it'd melt his insides. Or when you two were little and he'd plucked flowers for everyone and you were the only one who'd smiled at it sticking out of your satchel.
If he recalls correctly, it's pressed to a scroll hanging in your tent and that alone makes his heart race.
Maybe you two are inevitable and he'd only prolonged it because of his own fears.
“Neteyam!”
Te’feyra steps in his line of sight, standing before him and the hometree that houses your tent. He glances away when she stops in front of him.
“Te’feyra,” he greets cordially.
“I haven't seen you since the incident with ________,” she says. “Are you alright?”
Neteyam nods.
“Never better,” he says simply.
“After dinner we should–”
He spots you, satchel thrown over your shoulder. You glance his way momentarily, but scurry in the direction of your tent when you lock eyes with him.
“If you will excuse me, please,” he says politely, extricating himself from Te’feyra to follow after you.
He catches up to you right outside of your tent.
“________!” he calls.
You freeze almost imperceptibly, but continue on your way, climbing the flattened incline spiraling around the center of the hometree.
“________,” he murmurs, fist closing around your skinny bicep.
You jolt to a stop, golden eyes razor sharp as you glance down at him. Your fist is wrapped tight around the strap of the satchel, knuckles stretched taut.
“Neteyam,” you reply softly. “Yes?”
He opens his mouth to say something, but finds that his tongue weighs heavy behind his lips.
“If you seek help, there are elders available for healing,” you inform him, making a move to remove your arm from his grasp.
He instinctively tightens his grasp and you shift uncomfortably.
“Sorry, sorry,” he says quietly, pulling away. “I just want to speak with you.”
A few beats pass as you blink at him.
“Well?”
“Oh,” he swallows. “Can I come in?”
You turn to face the flap of your tent before craning your long neck over your shoulder to nod.
“Sure,” you agree, holding the hide open to let him in.
You step in after him, table scattered with mixtures of finely-pounded dust, scrolls of research and bundles of materials.
You set your satchel down and begin unloading your finds from you excursion.
Meanwhile, Neteyam paces nervously, trailing the circumference of your tent, eyes flitting every which way to take in every piece of you.
A thick silence envelops you and you clear your throat when the satchel is empty.
“You wanted to talk?” you ask, watching as he stops in front of a scrolled tacked to one of the beams.
It's the pressed flower he'd given to you all that time ago as children. It's central in the room, catching the sun so beautifully and Neteyam uses this as the last bit of courage he needs to continue.
“You kept it,” he says, voice shaky.
“Of course,” you say simply, picking through your different finds. “You gave it to me.”
Neteyam turns, looks you head on and he feels his resolve crumbling.
“You like me,” he says bluntly, afraid that if he beats around the bush, he'll cop out.
“Everyone does,” you deflect.
Neteyam's jaw locks.
“No, ________, you like me,” he repeats.
You feel small, sorting the petals by color, fingers nimble against the soft grain of the wooden tabletop.
“Presumptuous,” you hum, unable to meet his piercing gaze.
“________,” he presses.
You bite your lip, tears clouding your vision as your fingers begin to trembling through the sorting. He's being so unfair and he doesn't even know it.
“Why?” you ask shakily.
“What do you mean why?” Neteyam counters, voice taking on the same edge he did with his brother days prior and he'd interrogated him about you.
“Why are you doing this?” you croak, and he hears the tears in your voice.
He's across the floor before you can blink.
“Are you crying?” he asks, shocked.
“Why do you want me to say it so badly?” you choke, poor petals strangled in your vibrating fist. “Is it not enough? To know that I yearn for you silently? That everyone pities me because my heart belongs to someone who's already spoken for?”
Neteyam is stunned.
“I like you, Neteyam. I always have,” you say, voice raw with emotion. “It's my biggest defeat to say I always will. Is that what you want to hear?”
Your eyes are tinged red and his throat feels stuffed with cotton.
“I've always admired you,” you say quietly, between hiccuping breaths. “But I didn’t know you could be so cruel.”
Neteyam winces, every word he’d practiced earlier, completely obliterated from his short term. He knows he should just tell you, tell you that his heart yearns for yours, too. That he'd been too blinded by his impending duty to feel the full effects of what a first love could be like.
“You should go,” you say when he's silent.
You brush your tears away and pat your cheeks dry with the back of your hands as you carefully set the wilted flowers the the edge of the table.
“I–”
“Neteyam, spare me, please.”
“I don’t want to,” he finally says.
Your eyebrows furrow, eyes swollen as you gaze at him unjaded. Who he believed to be so stoic and passive now baring every possible inch to him.
“You're–”
“I don't want to be with Te'feyra,” he finally spits, fists clenched. “I won't be with her.”
Your gaze softens, lips parting to ask what's gotten into him, but he cuts you off.
“You,” he answers firmly, before the question clings in the air. “It’s you. I want to be with you.”
"Stop," you whisper, shaking your head furiously. You take a step away from where he's quickly closing in on you. “Don't–”
He pauses mid-stride and the expression on his handsome face is absolutely devastating. His chest rises and falls shakily and you take a moment to meet his eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t notice it before,” he says desperately, “I was scared and didn't fully realize it, but I do now.”
“That’s unfair,” you hiccup. “This isn't just on your terms. You can’t— you can’t just tell me you like me and expect me to be with you.”
These passing moments are the most he’s ever heard you speak, and he’s afraid that he's severely underestimated you. It doesn’t taste so sweet now that he’s faced with the reality of things.
“You will be the future leader of this clan,” you continue. “That is a great responsibility that you've prepared for your entire life. Who you decide to be with is a permanent fixture that cannot be undone.”
“I know, I know,” he assures you.
“You find it in your heart pity me, Neteyam,” you breathe quietly. “But do you really want to be bonded to someone passive and weak?”
He opens his mouth to argue, but you've squared your shoulders, stomach caving and expanding with a deep breath. You turn to your prior task.
“You should go,” you repeat. “Duty calls.”
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“What do you mean you need help?” Kiri asks incredulously, eyes widened at her older brother.
“________,” Neteyam says. “She's icing me out.”
Kiri's face melts in relief and she scoffs a laugh.
“Do you blame her?”
“Kiri!” he pleads.
Kiri stops her movements, falling back on her haunches to meet Neteyam's desperate gaze. It's so unlike him, being uncertain, nervous. He's picked up the habit of fiddling his fingers and Kiri snorts to herself.
“Actions,” she says simply.
“Huh?” he vocalizes.
“Words mean nothing to ________ if your actions don't support them,” she says. “This entire time you've acted so lukewarm towards her. Of course she won't believe you when you decide to acknowledge that you love her.”
Neteyam's throat bobs as he stares down at his sister.
“And how will I do that?” he presses.
Kiri shrugs.
“Not so mighty warrior now, are we?”
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As the days progress, you begin to grasp at finally coming to terms with the tattered remains of what's left of you and Neteyam's frayed relationship. Your heart hasn't stonewalled him completely, but the yearning for him has dulled to a slight ache.
His eyes are piercing every moment you share the same vicinity. Kiri would even try to argue you that it's longing, but Neteyam's a slave to his honor and you aren't convinced.
“You should pity the poor boy,” an elder tells you as you cut up ingredients for the evening's dinner.
You pause, fingers tightening around the handle of the knife. You roll your lips together before briefly meeting her gaze, warm under firelight.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you deflect, clearing your throat.
She laughs, peeling a purple fruit.
“Neteyam,” she says forwardly. “Hasn’t taken his eyes off you in who knows how long. Will you continue to let him suffer?”
You want to argue that it's you who's suffering. That the heart that beats inside the hollow of your ribcage feels like it'll tear in two every time you recall the venom in Neteyam's voice when he'd called you weak.
“I doubt his suffering has anything to do with me,” you say instead. “We are only acquaintances.”
The elder laughs again.
“Is that why he's been pestering the elders for input on how to sway your heart?”
Your head shoots up from where you've focused on the fine cuts of vegetables.
“What?”
“He’s been slacking on his duties, instead poking around the elders and villagers trying to pry information about you,” she says. “Heard him muttering about what kind of flowers you like.”
“It will take more than flowers to sway my heart,” you mumble.
“So you admit that there's something there, hmm?”
Your cheeks heat, caught like a fish in warm waters.
“I–”
“I'd argue that Neteyam’s liked you longer than you've liked him,” the elder says simply.
You bite.
“Why do you say that?”
“He's always asked Eywa for courage, and it seems like she gave you as an answer.”
The elder climbs to her feet, leaving you near the open flame. You open your mouth to call out to her, but the scent of salt and leaves envelops you before you can say anything.
You crane your neck and find Neteyam a few paces from you.
“Do you have a few moments?” he asks politely.
You want to say no, tell him that you'd offered him an infinite amount of moments that he'd spent building bridges between the two of you, but if he's a slave to his honor, you're bound by heart.
“Okay,” you say hesitantly, abandoning your task.
He holds his hand out for you to take and your fingers slide across his warm palm as he pulls you to your feet. Once he secures your hold in his, he tugs you along.
You don't know where he's taking you, or what he could possibly want with your time, but you feel a thousand times more nervous than ever now that the tangled web of your feelings drapes the both of you.
After a few moments of rugged silence, climbing through bushes and brush, he punctures the quiet.
“Are you well?” he asks.
“Yes,” you answer after a moment. “You?”
“Truthfully?” he responds, pausing to face you. You realize his hand still engulfs yours. “No.”
“No?” you parrot shakily.
“No,” he affirms. “I've been hurting actually.”
Your eyebrows furrow.
“You should seek help if you have an ongoing–”
“Here,” he says, the hand still caught in his being guided to lay flat against his chest. You can feel his heart hammering behind his ribcage. “It hurts here.”
You swallow, pulling away from his grasp when you realize his insinuation.
“Don’t,” you warn.
He breathes a shaky sigh before taking a step towards you. He's corded muscle and warmth as his palm comes to cradle your jaw. Your bottom lip twitches as you stare up at him.
“It’s always been you,” he says quietly, thumb brushing your chin as his eyes map every curve of your face. “I think I’ve always known it deep down, but...”
Your hand comes up to meet his, gently prying his touch away.
“Neteyam,” you sigh. “Had the last few days unfolded differently, I don't think you'd been saying this now.”
“Maybe not now,” he agrees. “But one day, I would. I know I would. Because when I recall every fond moment, you’re there. No matter how close to the background you get, you’re always there.”
You look skeptical, and Neteyam knows he's losing you. So he digs in the small knapsack he has slung over his broad shoulders and pulls out something thin.
When he holds it up with shaky fingers, your breath catches in your throat. Strung through the taut brown of tree vine is a line of beads identical to the one that he wears on a braid tucked behind his ear. Upon closer inspection, you notice the blue and purple beads formed to create your favorite flowers.
“Wha—”
“Until you decide you want to be mine,” he says, voice trembling nervously as he takes your arm and gently slides the band up until it fits snuggly around your bicep. “So that you remember I'm always yours.”
Your voice is caught in your throat as he brings your fingers up to his lips.
“I won’t push you,” he says when he realizes your words have evaded you. “But I’ll wait for you.”
“Neteyam–”
He simply smiles at you, golden eyes shy as he takes a step back to admire his handiwork. He seems satisfied, triumphant, when you eye the band but make no moves to remove it.
“I’ll wait for you,” he repeats, giving your fingers a squeeze before running off.
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“He did what?” Lo’ak shrills a week later.
The younger three Sully's had hunted you down and brought you to the clearing dedicated to archery training.
Slender fingers wrap around your wrist and elbow to turn your arm to examine the band with wide eyes.
You can’t help but smile gently to yourself, watching the way the sun catches the reflection of the pearlescent beads and reflects them brightly.
“I knew that dummy was planning something,” Kiri grumbles. You bite your lip when she meets your gaze. “Well?”
“Well what?” you ask, arm still in Lo’ak’s grasp.
He twists playfully and your laugh glitters in the air.
"Are you going to put my knucklehead brother out of his misery or what?" Kiri hisses, arm drawing to shoot a arrow that stabs the target about a centimeter too left.
Tuk giggles as she runs up to the target to examine the damage.
“Yeah, please do, he's in love and it's disgusting,” Lo'ak grumbles, still eyeing the cuff.
Your heart skips at the mention of love, cheeks going warm when both Kiri and Lo'ak notice how you've gone quiet. They begin laughing, dealing you playful punches.
“Stop that,” you scold, swatting their hands away. “I haven’t given him an answer yet.”
“Oh, get real!” Kiri huffs. “You are so in love, you know you'll say yes.”
“Please put me out of my misery,” Lo'ak moans. “I'm tired of being his therapist because he's a little bitch.”
“Lo'ak,” you warn, eyes narrowing.
He giggles and Kiri stifles a laugh as you flounder, cheeks blooming under the siblings' teasing.
“You are both so awful,” you say petulantly, arms crossing one over the other. “How are you so sure I’ll return his feelings?”
It's Kiri's turn to groan, eyes rolling.
“Sure enough that I know if I let you in on a little secret, it'll light a fire under your ass,” she says seriously.
Your spine goes rigid, arms loosening as you wait with bated breath.
“Neteyam may choose you, but if you don’t choose him back quickly enough, someone could swoop in and claw that chance from you,” she shrugs.
Te'feyra's name is an ugly insinuation and something green coils its way into the pit of your stomach as you recall the chaste kiss she'd pressed to Neteyam's lips all those nights ago in the forest.
“Gears turning?” Lo'ak lilts.
They definitely are and suddenly you feel small, digging your big toe into the dirt to drag lines through the forest floor. You nod hesitantly, band suddenly tight around your bicep.
In your ruminating, Lo'ak and Kiri pass a knowing glance.
“Well?” Lo'ak prods.
You fidget, rattling with nerves.
“I suppose...”
Lo'ak sighs and his hands come down on your shoulders to steer you through the clearing.
“Where are we going?” you squeak.
“To put everyone out of their misery,” Lo'ak huffs.
The forest seems way more alive than usual, glowing so bright it almost overpowers the sun. Woodsprites gather around as Lo'ak nudges you through the thick foliage and you can't help but think about the sweet smile that curled on Neteyam's lips as he assured you that he was yours. All yours.
The fire crackles in the distance and you know that the morning meal is in the works when voices roar quietly meters away.
Neteyam sits near the center, surrounded by elders and the dreaded girl.
Te'feyra's obliterated every single centimeter of space available, nearly melded to his side as the elders talk animatedly over the two.
You want to turn back, uncertainty vice-like, but Lo'ak squeezes your shoulders as a silent plea. Not even a moment passes before Neteyam peels himself away and begins putting distance between them.
When Te'feyra gives him a curious glance, he gives her an uneasy smile.
“Be courageous, ________,” Lo'ak encourages. “You're one of the strongest people I know.”
With a final pat on the back, he pushes you towards the circle and the sudden movement catches everyone's gaze.
“________,” one of the elders calls fondly.
You smile and bow your head, fingers twitching at your sides.
“Hello,” you greet quietly, eyes swooping hesitantly to Neteyam who rises to his feet, already watching you intently.
That's when you notice it, the choker fastened around his throat. The vine is identical to yours, but it's strung with a line of beads that mirror the ones woven into a singular braid at the nape of your neck.
You hadn't realized that he'd noticed it all this time, but it's the ultimate confirmation that Neteyam sees you. And when he notices that you notice, he smiles softly.
The elders notice as well, drawing the link between your arm band and the necklace that Neteyam wears, now that you two stand opposite each other.
“May I borrow Neteyam for a moment?” you ask politely.
The same elder you prepared with the evening prior gleams a wide smile when Neteyam takes a step towards you, fingers brushing delicately with yours.
Te'feyra remains seated, lips twitching as her gaze flits between the two of you.
“By all means,” one of them says. “Take your time.”
You bow your head again, heart thudding when Neteyam's fingers twine with yours and he lets you drag him out of the circle and deeper into the forest.
When you deem that no prying eyes or ears surround you, you stop, Neteyam bumping softly into your back. The hair on the back of your neck bristle when he makes no moves to extricate himself from you, simply moving your braids from your face to reveal the string of beads tucked near the nape of your neck.
“You needed me?” he whispers, fingers still ghosting the skin of shoulder.
You swallow, squeezing your eyes shut as you relish the moment. Your fingers are still locked and for a fleeting second, you pretend that it's always been like this, the two of you.
“I am nothing extraordinary,” you start, and Neteyam's fingertips pause at your elbow.
“I'd argue differently,” he responds.
“I value time alone and I get overwhelmed often,” you continue.
“We all have our moments,” is his rebuttal as the hand covering yours squeezes gently.
You sigh.
“I could—”
Neteyam turns you and you're met with the the choker, beads glinting under the light. Your eyes drag up the column of his strong neck, flit past his soft lips and finally lock with his searing gaze.
“You can try all you want to run me off,” Neteyam laughs quietly, cupping your jaw. “But I'm not scared anymore.”
Your expression is skeptical and Neteyam decides to bite the bullet. He's closing in on you and your heart pounds violently in your chest.
“Neteyam,” you whisper weakly, hand coming up to his chest.
He traps your fingers against his heart, lips slotting between yours before you can protest some more.
It's like the forest comes alive around you, grass tickling between your toes as you melt under his touch and lean up into his mouth.
His hands are everywhere at once, branding your cerulean skin as he kisses you like it's your last moments. There's no hesitation, no feeling it out, just his warm breath and his soft lips as he pulls you impossibly closer.
“I'll take you as you are at any moment,” he says breathlessly between kisses. “You just have to say you want me back, ________. Please.”
You nod, nose brushing against his as one of his palms splay at the small of your back and the other grabs your chin, pulling you back to plant another burning kiss on your lips.
“Say it,” he begs.
Your eyes begin to mist as you nod again eagerly, parting for a moment to whisper the words.
“I'm yours,” you hoarse, hands on either side of his neck. “I'm yours if you'll be with me.”
Neteyam simply kisses you again, a satisfied hum rumbling from his built chest.
“Fucking finally,” a whisper sounds from the brush.
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A LIL' BONUS
“You think they would have figured it out on their own?” Lo'ak asks, wolfing down his food.
Kiri shrugs, feeding Tuk a piece of fruit from her wooden plate.
“Maybe,” she says, unable to suppress her proud grin. “Maybe not. They're both stupid."
“I think so,” Te'feyra laughs watching you and Neteyam fondly from across the fire. “They were a long time coming.”
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an – thank you SO much if you've made it this far! again, leave a request or let's chat hehehe. up next is lo'ak so stay tuned! :)
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