#i feel like...perhaps...this strategy could be employed by trans people?

[arrowheadedbitch]

I remember when I decided I didn't want to go by my middle name anymore, my brother said he wouldn't switch over because it would be too hard for him so my stepdad suggested that I call him by his middle name (he went and still goes by his first) until he starts calling me the name I told him to call me. Worked like a charm, I admire you so much for that, John.

[molsno]

white feminism is feminism that centers around the advancement of white women in capitalist society. rafia zakaria gives a more detailed explanation in the beginning of her book, "against white feminism" (which you should read if you want to learn more), but for the sake of brevity, I'll share a relevant excerpt:

White feminists can attend civil rights marches, have Black, Asian, and Brown friends, and in some cases be Black, Asian, and Brown themselves, and yet be devoted to organizational structures or systems of knowledge that ensure that Black, Asian, and Brown women's experiences, and so their needs and priorities, remain sidelined. More broadly, to be a white feminist you simply have to be a person who accepts the benefits conferred by white supremacy at the expense of people of color, while claiming to support gender equality and solidarity with "all" women.

it's very important to understand that the dominant feminist theory of the 2010s was white feminism. any and all discussion of feminist issues to gain notoriety in this time period were centered around the experiences of white women, and were ultimately about advancing the rights of white women so that they could reap the same benefits from the white supremacist, colonialist, capitalist project as their male counterparts. they sometimes paid lip service to women of color, queer women, trans women, fat women, disabled women, and so on, but their feminism notably did not call for any real systemic changes that would actually meaningfully liberate these women from their oppression.

crucially, white feminism is a feminism with no morals. it has no tangible goals, let alone plans of action designed to realize them. white feminism grants concession after concession to women's oppressors under the assumption that doing so will eventually result in material gain. this is the same strategy that the suffragettes of the late 1800s/early 1900s employed, wherein they wholesale excluded black women from the suffragist movement in order to win the support of southern voters, who ended up not supporting them anyway. white feminists of the modern day threw the most marginalized women under the bus and made no real demands in order to avoid alienating men who might be sympathetic to the cause but weren't willing to go "too far" and give up their male privilege. as a result of these concessions, women's rights have made no significant gains, and in many ways have been restricted even more - just look at the overturning of roe v. wade for one major example.

perhaps the clearest example of white feminism is the barbie movie. it depicts a white feminist utopia, where women don't have to do genuine labor, where women of all backgrounds - white, black, trans, fat, gay, and more - are able to serve in positions of power like president or judge. if you take this to be a manifestation of a potential real-world white feminist utopia, then you understand that the society white feminists yearn for is one where they can continue to benefit from imperialism and colonization, but with "equality" among women in the imperial core. I digress, however. the barbie movie ends with barbie apologizing to ken for making him feel insignificant enough that he was willing to overthrow this white feminist utopia by instituting patriarchy. she takes responsibility for his desire to oppress women by shifting the blame onto herself and other women. the movie is practically about ken's feelings, and ensures he doesn't take the blame for anything that he did. this film is the pinnacle of white feminism, and upon its release and still now, several months later, it is widely celebrated as a feminist masterpiece.

I understand the desire not to disparage feminism, and to blame its failings on MRAs and anti-feminists, but I really cannot understate just how vile white feminism itself is and how much damage its proponents have done to feminism as a whole.

it's so fucking bleak how the point we've arrived at in feminist discourse is one where you can say that women can reinforce patriarchy and loads of people will agree without hesitation and say that it's important to talk about that, but if you even suggest that men can reinforce patriarchy then suddenly everyone will come tell you that you're lacking nuance and you don't understand how the patriarchy works and you're basically a terf. white feminism is truly a disease

[a-womans-rhetoric]

Because I spent my last "J.K. Rowling" post on how ContraPoints uses rhetorical tropes exclusively,

I figured I'd dedicate this space to her exhaustive use of rhetorical devices. I'll be block quoting her bellow, and then trying to work through each device as it appears — attempting to bring attention to how each enhances her overall rhetoric. Also, I may try out some of these devices for myself. Wish me luck!

"So is the author of Harry Potter really a bigot? Well she certainly seems invested in the belief that she is not a bigot. '[Interviewer] What vice do you most despise? [Rowling] Bigotry.' And looking over Joanne's tweets, I don't think the average person would see any problem with what she's said. However, I mean not to be condescending, but, I feel like the average person's understanding of *transgender* is still a little bit... "I don't really get the whole trans thing." "Like why can't you just be a feminine man?" I don't know Amber. Why don't you be a feminine man? Who knows, you could be missing out! So we're gonna go through the things that Joanne said about trans people, but I don't want this to be just a drama video, ... Like, I wanna try to do something a little bit more meaningful than that. So I'm gonna use J.K. Row as a case study in bigotry, and see if we can maybe learn something about what bigotry is. How does it work, and how do otherwise good people get drawn into it? And if we can make any progress on any of those questions, well for once, I think, I'll actually have earned my Patreon budget. (magical sound) So keeping in mind our very serious and educational purpose, let's spill some shade, throw some tea." (01:36-03:25)

Anaphora - Basically, utilizing anaphora, Natalie Wynn consistently employs "so" to give direction to her arguments (as they're usually paired with subject changes). Basically, the repeated use of "so," as a conjunction to begin her sentence, becomes familiar to the ear. Basically, Since her medium of choice is the video essay, an argument that flows well and is pleasing to hear is of the utmost importance.

Hypophora - What is hypophora? ContraPoints utilizes this rhetorical device frequently, when she asks and answers her own questions. Why does she use it? She utilizes this strategy to peak curiosity in the listener — questions naturally demand a certain amount of attentiveness. Why else? Along with modifying audience response, Wynn also (likely) uses hypophora to structure her piece. Questions, even those which are self-posed, allow a speaker to provide answers in an organized manner.

Epistrophe - Used exclusively at the beginning of this excerpt, epistrophe, gives weight to the word "bigot" in three successive sentences. As the answering the question of bigotry is the ultimate goal of Wynn's essay, employing a rhetorical device that brings attention to the word (especially while associating it with J.K. Rowling) is a rather clever way to structure her sentences.

Exemplum - ContraPoints uses two forms of exempla (plural for exemplum, which is Latin for example). In the beginning, she uses a short video clip of Rowling claiming a hatred for bigotry; it succinctly supports her previous claim (which the clip directly follows) that Rowling seems — perhaps unusually — invested in the belief that she isn't bigoted. Her second example is more playful: she mockingly takes up the tone of an "uninformed transphobe." This exemplum, although fictional unlike her first, also succeeds in its own purpose — to bring attention to casual transphobia.

(Discursive footnote: Is me citing her exempla a form of exemplum? If not, this device may've proved beyond my reach!)

Rhetorical Question - In a succinct dismal of the previous transphobic "exemplum," or the questions posed by the fictional Amber, ContraPoints states rhetorically: Why don't you be a feminine man? The answer is implicit, but obvious: because she doesn't want to be. The way this question is posed also adds to her irreverent tone — Wynn's sassy wit feels well-warranted in response to prejudice. What's not to like?

Expletive - [Tumblr ran me out of colors, so the expletives in question are italicized.] Expletives, you see, are single word or short phrase interruptions which serve to emphasize the speech that they interrupt on both sides. Natalie Wynn, clearly, employs this device in her use of the word "but" and her clause "I think."

Malapropism - Natalie Wynn provides an intentional and humorous malapropism with her declaration of "let's spill some shade, throw some tea." The correct phraseology of the common internet slang is generally "spill some tea" and "throw some shade." Her intentional mis-use adds a layer of humor to her intro — as malapropisms are intended to do, if you use them once in a blue spoon.

[lemondzest]

Understanding Obesity (Part 2): Whose responsibility for obesity?

Now that we know obesity is a public health crisis requiring urgent action, we may wonder - what causes it? After all, effective solutions require tackling the root causes of the problem. This part therefore aims to shed light on five of the many contributing factors to obesity. 

1. Choices

Nothing much to elaborate here; choosing to eat more and moving less will result in weight gain. More calories in, less calories out - basic law of thermodynamics. Boring. However, many people are quick to go down the reductionist route by placing ALL the blame on the individual’s personal choices. If it’s just a matter of people needing to make the right choices, if it’s really that simple, we would have tackled obesity long ago. Blaming obesity solely on individual choices does not answer WHY we are increasingly eating more and moving less. Take a look at this timeline of adult obesity in the U.S below by the CDC, similarly reported in other countries across the globe. 

The rate of obesity has tripled worldwide since the late 1970s. If obesity is simply caused by a lack of personal responsibility, what happened in the late 1970s? Did everyone collectively lose their rationale - maybe everyone got together, decided to YOLO and go buffet in life? Definitely possible (cue the entrance of conspiracy theorists), but highly unlikely. Did some form of transcendent power strike the DNA of humans collectively that made us evolve into a bunch of lazier and much more ravenous creatures? Scientists have studied evolutionary changes during this period and concluded that nope, our gene pool has remained constant; any changes in the gene pool would take hundreds of years to produce an obvious effect across a global population anyway. This means that:

the global rise in obesity is not because of any significant genetic changes,

people did not willingly choose to eat more and move less, 

there are other external factors that mainly drives the obesity epidemic.

Consider a class of 10 pupils. When only one pupil gets very low grades in an exam and the other nine got full marks, the one pupil is considered mainly at fault. Perhaps they need to study more and work harder to get a good mark. But when six out of ten got very low grades, is it still the pupils’ fault? Would we then tell the children to study more, while everyone else (i.e the teacher, parents, education system) just remain in inertia, or goyang kaki? 

Similarly, when 63% of the people in Brunei are living with overweight and obesity -- is it still entirely their fault? 

2. Environment

(Please bear with me, I’m trying my best not to turn this section into a whole thesis).

The environment is one of the largest contributors of the rise in the obesity epidemic. This is based on rigorous academic evidence and decades of research. Essentially, the environment has generally promoted the increased consumption of unhealthier food through a rapid increase in its:

availability : since the 1970s, the food environment underwent a shift from predominantly fresh produce to a more ultra processed diet. Food are being processed to the point where they look nothing like what they originally look like, stuffing them with cheap ingredients such as sugar, salt, trans-fats and flavourings to enable mass production to be sold at cheap prices and for easy consumption. These products are called ultra processed food, and examples include soda, sausages, nuggets, sugary cereals, instant noodles, crisps, chocolates and so on.  Because of its poor nutritional profile, ultra processed food has confidently been associated with higher risks of obesity, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, cancer, depression, asthma, etc. And we, especially young people, are consuming more of this than ever. 

exposure : we're talking about the aggressive marketing strategies that has been employed especially by the fast food industry and beyond. I remember going back home from the airport after my 14-day COVID quarantine being bombarded by roughly 10 billboard ads, majority of which are advertising for fast food. As I went out and about for the next few months, I realised that we are exposed to food companies constantly fighting for our attention through their advertisements, whether in the form of billboard ads, physical outlets, leaflets, newspaper ads, TV ads, social media ads, social media influencers, event sponsorships, - the list just goes on! In fact, 46% of the annual advertising budget in the UK goes to soda, confectionery and snacks, while only 2.5% goes to fruits and vegetables. Imagine if it was the other way around.. One can only dream... The point is, we as humans are constantly being tempted with unhealthier food rather than healthier food, which in turn, drives up our purchase and consumption of unhealthier food products. I also particularly like this photo taken in the UK that just showcases the pedestal unhealthier food ads are being placed on, i.e. same level as public health ads. Oh, the irony! (Good news for Bruneians - a code of conduct on responsible food marketing has been implemented recently to shield our children from these ads! Just what we need, priority on children’s health > anything else.)

portion sizes : certain food such as pizza and soft drinks underwent a significant increase in portion sizes from the 1970s to 2000s. Just a few days ago I went to to a fast food outlet and noticed that, as usual, the default drink choice is soda, but the default size is now the large one as compared to the smaller one that I remember seeing 3 years ago before I left the country. I was also informed that some other outlets have been asking customers to upsize their drinks by default. Just how necessary is this? We may think this is not a problem because people supposedly eat according to their physiological needs and can simply stop when they’re full, and so they wouldn’t need to finish the whole portion. But research leading to the discovery of what is known as the portion size effect (PSE) has suggested otherwise; the more energy-dense food people are served, the more they tend to eat. 

The 21st century environment is also promoting physical inactivity and a sedentary lifestyle compared to the past centuries. Opportunities for physical activity especially in high-income countries have declined possibly due to the rapid urbanisation, rise in 9-5 jobs and more people relying on motorised transportation methods. Although research has shown that physical activity (PA) among adults done during free time have increased in the past ~30 years, a simultaneous decrease was found in physical activity done while working in the past ~50 years. Young people are also observed to be more physical inactive levels throughout the years, though locally... I like to think that our younger people are getting more physical-activity-conscious nowadays since applaudable efforts to widen opportunities for PA such as the launch of Bandarku Ceria and the opening of numerous hiking sites and gyms booming in 2019-2020. But this could just be my skewed perception looking at a small and specific demographic of the population - more formal research needs to be done.

So, we know that the environment is the main factor that drives up the obesity pandemic. But if we are all living in an environment which predisposes us to develop obesity, why don't we ALL have obesity? This tells us that there are other factors that makes an individual more likely to act on the environment's impulses - such as their socioeconomic status (income, education) and especially their genes.

3. Income

Research among developed countries such as the UK, Australia, Germany and Singapore has shown that people who are from lower income level are significantly associated with a higher risk of obesity. This graph below just shows how stark the inequality is between the most and least deprived areas of the UK. Note also how rapidly-widening the gap is over the years!

Why are poorer families in developed countries more likely to live with obesity? 

Food that are more nutritious are often less affordable than nutritious food. I particularly love this infographic showing how in order to meet the general recommendation of a healthy diet in the UK, the poorer families would have to spend 39% of their income on food alone, while this percentage steadily decreases as your income increases, to as low as 8% for the richer families. The same pattern is reflected in many other countries including the USA, Australia and

This inequality is not just seen within countries, but also across countries. One study across 18 countries identified that in order to meet the recommended guideline of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day, families in lower income countries would need to spend 52% of their income on them, those in middle income countries would need to spend 17% while those in higher income countries would need to spend a mere 2% of their income.

The price gap between healthier and unhealthier food can then affect people's purchasing behaviour, where families from lower income are forced to prioritise quantity of food over quality. For some of us, we are privileged enough to be able to choose food that are delicious, nutritious, and of different variety each time. But for some others, especially among families with poorer background battling food insecurity, they can only afford to eat in order to feel full and get through the day. Research has shown how poorer families always have to 1) balance out their choices of food with the utilisation of scarce resources, and 2) make judgment of food prices relative to other food prices. Combining this with the known fact discussed above that unhealthier food are FAR more aggressively marketed (almost 20 times more) than healthier food - we are left with a group of the population who are predisposed to choosing food that are mainly satiating, and less nutritious than the recommended guideline.

In fact, we know that even more factors than those discussed above can contribute to people from poorer families having an unhealthier diet. One of them is, on top of the price gap of groceries, we have the price gap of fast food. Parents who are busy and don't have much time to cook nutritious and homemade food often resort to fast food to sustain their family. Sure, we have a plethora of fast food options to choose from (and they just keep increasing - don't get me started). But what kind of fast food is both affordable and nutritious? Nasi katok costs $1 while a balanced meal costs $5 (minimum), and this disparity is seen all around the world.

Given all this, we still have the audacity to say that obesity is simply caused by a lack of willpower?

Gimme a break. It is clear that people who are not as financially privileged requires additional support in order to maintain a healthy weight. If not through finance, through education (further explained in Cause 4), or even better - both!

Side note: Despite the overwhelming evidence that having low income is associated with higher risk of obesity, there is also emerging evidence showing the possibility of the opposite (reverse causality); living with obesity is ALSO associated with having low income due to stigmatisation and discrimination. So basically... living with low income may cause people to live with obesity, and likewise living with obesity may cause people to live with low income. This syndemic is similar to the that of obesity and mental health issues discussed in Part 1.

4. Education

Health is not formally taught in most schools. Health starts at home. Because of this varying education level and awareness about health across the population, each family has very different approaches of ensuring how their family can grow up adopting healthy behaviours.

Generally, the likelihood of having obesity increases with decreasing level of education. This was observed in many countries including Taiwan, Saudi Arabia and Iran. The trend is similarly reported in OECD countries such as Australia, Canada, England and Korea as shown below.

This may be because more educated families tend to have healthier lifestyles and are more aware of what the causes and consequences are of obesity. If a family is lacking awareness and knowledge on certain aspects of health, such as in nutrition - eg: what the importance of consuming enough fibre is, what exactly constitutes a balanced diet, how to cook nutritious meals under time constraint etc - then their family will be less likely to adopt healthy (protective) behaviours.

Awareness on the causes and consequences of obesity indeed remain low within many communities. In one study, 76% of young people surveyed believe that "obesity has a genetic cause and that there is nothing much one can do to prevent obesity". Almost 30% of them also believe that even when substantial changes were made to one's lifestyle, obesity cannot be prevented. In the UK, around 3 in 4 people didn't know that obesity can cause cancer - the leading cause of death worldwide.

Not only are people unaware of the causes and consequences of obesity, many people even show a general lack of understanding of obesity itself. It was found that among 401 Malaysians surveyed, 92% of those with obesity underperceive their weight, thinking that their weight is at a normal range or lower than it actually is. This is particularly concerning, because any intervention efforts to reduce obesity rate within a community will just bounce back by the majority of the target group who think the messages are 'not for them because they don't have obesity' when they actually do.

All in all, if you come from an educated family background - good for you. If you have the opportunity to study more about health, or human/medical sciences - good for you. But what about those who do not have all these privileges?

Side note: There is also evidence showing how having lower education level is not just associated with higher level of obesity in a direct manner, but also indirectly where having a low education level may contribute to households having a lower income, and as discussed above in No.3 -> may result in a stacked effect on obesity. This is called the mediation effect and more explanation can be found here (pg 133).

5. Genetics

Over 200 genes influence our body shape and size. This include genes that affects how frequently we feel hungry, the rate that we burn calories, our metabolism rate, and many more! Some of these individual genes can increase our likelihood of becoming heavier while some other genes tend to make us lighter depending on whether it is 'switched on or off'. And this mix of 'on and offs' for EACH gene is always going to be different between individuals (polymorphism).

Because of our own 'mixed bag' of ~200 obesity-related genes interacting with each other, some people will find it much harder to resist that bar of Kinder Bueno sitting on the cashier till, while some others wouldn't even bat an eye. Some people naturally feels full after a bowl of rice, while some others would need three bowls. Some people can store a large amount of fats while some others can store only half of that amount before those fats (lipids) seep into other tissues instead such as muscles and potentially cause diseases (lipotoxicity).

Our genetic differences within the population explains why some people respond differently to the obesogenic environment we live in. It is not as simple as our genes determining whether we develop obesity or not. We simply can't be saying "Oh it's in my genes, got it from my parents~" to justify our lack of effort to address obesity. There's no single gene that makes people develop obesity. But rather, our mixed bag of genes determine our susceptibility to obesity. For people with many of those genes that makes it likely for them to gain weight easily 'switched on' -> they will be more susceptible to obesity because their own biology makes it much harder for them to fight back the temptations of the obesogenic environment.

Because this concept is so difficult to be understood by people who have always had a healthy weight all their life, privileged with not having the genes raising the likelihood of obesity 'switched on' -> they tend to blame obesity solely on the individual's personal choice. Because their own biology makes it easier for them to resist the temptations of the obesogenic environment.

As Joslin - an American doctor - described almost a century ago which pretty much summarises the role of genetics in obesity:

Genetics probably loads the gun, while lifestyle in our obesogenic environment pulls the trigger for the spreading of the obesity epidemic.

Does this mean that people who have genes that makes it more susceptible to develop obesity can simply blame their genes for their weight?

No! Not entirely. They can and should apply the same general concept of weight loss to counteract the risk of obesity, i.e. - eating balanced meals, doing plenty of physical activity (going back to the boring law of thermodynamics: more calories out than in = weight loss). However, it will be especially harder for these people to achieve it due to their obesity-encouraging genes. They have to put in more effort to lose 1kg than someone with less of the obesity-encouraging genes.

What this means for those with obesity: Your own genes and biology is one of the factors why your BMI is considered high at the moment and why it feels so difficult to lose weight. It is important for you to understand this, so that you don't beat yourself up too often! It is not entirely your fault. It will be hard, and in fact it will be harder than many people, but what matters is for you stay focused in putting in the work to get there!

What this means for those with healthy weight: It's about time for you to stop blaming everything on the individual's personal choice when you don't even know how difficult they have it and how much they have been trying to fight their own biology. Don't act like you know their struggles just to shame and stigmatise them because you don't and neither do I. Leave it to their close family and personal doctor to consult them.

What this means for policymakers: We have a duty in making sure that 1) the environment is as conducive as possible to live a healthy lifestyle to avoid 'triggering the gun', and 2) people are aware that genes play a big factor too (of around 40-70%) in determining someone's weight and its not just entirely down to the individual.

Side note: The genetic explanation above which acknowledges the role of hundreds of different genes in the development of obesity is applicable to the majority of people living with obesity (polygenic obesity). However, there are also the minority of people who develop obesity due to mutation in single genes (monogenic obesity / syndromic obesity) which warrants a separate and more technical explanation.

Bottom Line

To summarise the cause of obesity:

As mentioned in Cause 1, how we develop obesity is always down to the individual eating more and moving less. But as explained in Cause 2, 3, 4 & 5, the complex interaction between the environment, the individual's socioeconomic conditions, and their own biology explains why it is so difficult for some people to eat less and move more.

To summarise the cause of the obesity pandemic:

Personal choice explains why one individual may develop obesity, but the environment explains why more people across the whole world is developing obesity. Our socioeconomic conditions and especially our genetics then explains why not ALL people develop obesity as a response to the change in environment.

So what should I do with all these information?

That's entirely up to you and how much you understood! But the reason why I brought this topic up is because I'm personally sick and tired of hearing people living with obesity being blamed for their "poor choices in life", "lack of self-control", for "being gluttonous", "lazy", etc.

As I have hopefully explained, obesity is undoubtedly very complex and a result of so many factors. These five things I mentioned above? There's. So. Much. More.

Click here for a clearer view.

So the next time we blame it all on people with obesity - check your privileges. You're rich? You're naturally slim? You're educated? You don't have as much obesity-encouraging genes? Good for you. Perhaps that tends to make you feel entitled to say that people who are living with obesity just needs to make "better choices".

But understand that you have it easier in maintaining your healthy weight, while people with obesity most likely have it harder. The least you could do is really be sympathetic and understanding, acknowledge their struggles, and certainly avoid shaming and stigmatising them. Make it easier for them by providing healthier choices and support them physically and emotionally in their goals of achieving a healthy weight!

Aren't you just giving an excuse for people to live with obesity?

Disclaimer: My BMI sits quite well on the healthy range at 23 kg/m^2. I am nowhere close to having obesity, nor do I have any family members, partners or close friends living with obesity. I literally gain NOTHING to be making up an excuse for people to live with obesity. Quite on the contrary, I understand its dire consequences as I have outlined in Part 1, and I have even mentioned personal choice as one of the causes above. It's not about giving excuses, but simply an effort to give voice and justice to those who has been silenced.

I hope I have gotten my point across through this post and the previous one in my Obesity Series! Let's all be more-informed members of the society and support each other in achieving our health goals :)

*Note: For simplicity purposes, ‘unhealthier food’ in this post refers generally to food lower in nutritional profile, and food high in fat, sugar and salt (HFSS). In reality, we should understand that food does not exist in a binary manner.

Unlinked References:

Gene Eating by Giles Yeo (Book)

CMO Independent Report: Time to Solve Childhood Obesity by Professor Dame Sally Davies

[quartusbellum-blog]

SARA for the role of REGULUS BLACK using the faceclaim NICOLE MAINES. 

I am very excited about your portrayal of this character! Not only have you given life to the plots hinted at in the skeleton, but you’ve threaded new layers of meaning into Regulus’ story. I can’t wait to see them explored on the dash! 

ooc details

Name: Sara

Age: im a fandom grandparent

Pronouns: they/them

Activity Level: I’m around every day and enjoy making a mess of things in game

Other: No triggers though my character might end up triggering others. I’ll make sure to tag.

Acknowledgement: I acknowledge that the themes of this game may include triggering elements. I also acknowledge that my character may be harmed, coerced, or even killed (with player’s consent) during paras/events or may cause harm to or kill others during paras/events. Yep here4themess

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general ic details

Name: Regulus Arcturus Black

Age: 19 | January 23rd

Ships: Regulus is rather aromantic in manner so a romantic is unlikely. Even still, I’d be happy to try any ships, any nonromantic ships etc.  Warning: please read the whole app prior to seeking a ship with Regulus given that any sort of romantic/nonromantic/sexual ship might contain triggering experiences.

TBH my dream ships are probably more found family/family oriented… polyamorous with an asexual asshole who is a little skew?

Gender/Pronouns: publicly Regulus is still he/him but there will be a blending and fucking up of pronouns as Regulus explores and comprehends her gender (likely ultimate ending but nonbinary is also possible). This is different then how i sometimes write trans characters because in this game one aspect of her narrative will be the concept of growing up and understanding she can be who she wants to be. Even if Regulus knew from a young age (which not all trans people do), Regulus would have innately rejected the idea because of the pride his mother has(d) in having the two heirs at a cost. This became even more pressing when Sirius left his role as heir and it landed to Regulus–suddenly Regulus’ choices shrank even more. Its only in death that she has started to comprehend that there are choices now.

So pronouns will be flying ALL THE WAYS but mostly reflecting how the character is presenting EXTERNALLY to others. FC will remain static but may not be used all the time due to the lack of stable presentation.

For this app He/Him were used exclusively as up until perhaps the past year Regulus presented exclusively as he/him.

Headcanon for transitioning Attisgalli Corrective Draught.

Face Claim: please provide two face claim options.

Nicole Maines

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bio questions

Please note, while this game is “canon” up until the start of the Wizarding War it does not stay canon and it’s quite divergent at the start of the game.

biography:

The Black Family is too old of a family line not to have gotten… muddled (never muddied) in the past. It shows on the family tree in little notations (a dark red swirl like an ink blot on their shoulder for vampire) or in burn-marks where a person used to be (for scum of the earth traitor). Sometimes, Regulus’ mother sniffed when explaining this, certain family members couldn’t do what needed to be done.

A little pruning never hurt anyone–not any more then a little cultivating did.

Regulus and Sirius Black might have been half brothers but that was simply the most prudent action their parents could take to make absolutely certain the bloodline continued. Sure, children that shared both parents blood would have been ideal but with Druella only providing girls and Orion not providing any… Walburga Black was always very good at problem solving. Perhaps the only problem she failed to solve was her eldest son Sirius–or maybe she almost fixed it with Regulus.

If Sirius Black was loud and brash and bright–Regulus was the opposite. He was a late talker and when he did start talking it was almost always a last mumbled as a last resort. It wasn’t that Regulus wasn’t intelligent but that he struggled to organize his thoughts and provide them to others–something that continued through childhood, through Hogwarts, and beyond. He preferred chess and finding patterns within potions, charms, and even Quidditch to social obligations.

Prone to being misunderstood when he did attempt to make friends (he wasn’t threatening that girl, he was warning her so she wouldn’t be hurt), Regulus over values any and all friends or family he has. As such, any disowning, death, or friendship breakup has been taken incredibly personally. Its no excuse, and Regulus knows that now more then ever, but the need for connection and purpose helped drive his passion for Voldemort. Regulus believed in what Voldemort was fighting, becoming a Death Eater would provide a structure that Regulus knew he would need outside of Hogwarts while learning how to manage the Black family vaults and investments, and there was a social aspect, too.

For all that Regulus was good at strategy and understanding how seemingly fragmented pieces of information fit together: he was too slow to understand what Voldemort’s real goals were and what they ultimately meant for his family (and the wizarding world, but his family, of course, was paramount). Regulus Black never woke up one day and started believing muggleborns were ‘okay’ or that his innate belief system was wrong. He woke up one day and realized that the few people he cared about were in danger in a way they did not, could not, understand.

The vampire blood was easy to get, although he hardly thought it would work. He had long since been in the habit of visiting Narcissa and feeding the prisoner James Potter. Adding a fail safe into James’ layers of memory charms was not easy but necessary. Most likely, even with the blood, even with over a month of planning, Regulus was certain he was going to die.

Which he did. It just didn’t stick.

It’s been almost a year since then and Regulus isn’t sure if it was the potion, the vampire blood, the way he died, or if he’s finally just turning into his mother’s child in ways he never wanted to–but Regulus Black can’t seem to get a grip on his emotions, or his tongue, the way he used to. In some ways, though, its a relief–like finally being able to peel off an ill-fitting skin for something new.

                                                 ჻    ჻    ჻   ჻

my character is:

Please Provide the Following

A Belief that is Wrong

Please Describe a Belief your character has that is wrong. It can be something we, as players, know is wrong (ex. prejudice against werewolves ).  Alternatively: How is your character lying to themselves (and how is is it shown externally).

Regulus has always had something about organization and if he thinks about it too much even he would have to acknowledge that it’s a lie. But Regulus generally doesn’t pay that much attention to the reality surrounding these habits, only the relief it brings him. His clothes are always pressed–even in his closet of a space with the Radical Alliance. The robes are cleaned, and charmed pressed, and hunt up in a very specific order. His bed is exactly one inch from the left wall. The trunk he keeps things in is under the bed and must not touch any of the posts or the wall. He keeps things perfectly separated inside the trunk. He counted the flur de lis on the carpet between his and Sirius’ bedrooms over and over and over again as a child. He can tell anyone how many panes of glass are in the windows at Hogwarts and even differentiate between wings of the castle. These habits (because, of course, that’s all they are, all they will ever be) didn’t start out so all encompassing but as Regulus grew up, as life became more complicated, choices too limited, finding ways to control it (even illogical ones) seemed to be the only answer.

If things are clean enough. If things are the right number. If he stops counting at the right moment, if he taps the right pattern : everything will be fine. There’s arithmancy in everything, he tells himself, because life has always been more bearable when he believes it to be true.

Job

Is Regulus Black Doing Anything? He isn’t sure, really. Certainly he doesn’t have a job–he’s never worked a traditional job a day in his life! He’s no longer a Death Eater. Can he continue to look after his family’s finances if he is, in a sense, dead?

Does he want to be alive? –Regulus wonders this sometimes, believing it not to be any sort of suicidal ideation but a simple, obvious question. Should he be alive? The answer is no.

Does he want to be–he doesn’t know.

As far as anyone knows (particularly Remus but also Marcus and Narcissa), Regulus Black has no job and is doing nothing but trying to pour his scrambled eggs of brain and impulse control back into some semblance of viability. Underneath that, Regulus Black is trying to pour his scrambled eggs of brain and impulse control back into some semblance of viability…and remember just what his next steps were supposed to be regarding the horcrux.

ooc questions

Writing Sample:

He’s at the stairs. Not the grand stars at the front of the house that fork and twist along the side of the foyer–but the back stairs. Servants stairs his mother would hiss if she saw them except none of their family have ever employed household staff.

House elves are bad enough, his mother says in his ear and Regulus jerks, expecting to feel her breath on his cheek but–nothing. Its nothing.

“I’ve food for the prisoner.” He says but its pointless because no one is listening. No one has been listening since Peter Pettigrew. Since Dumbledore. Since James. It is a mistake but they haven’t realized it yet.

He’s stood too long, frozen above the narrow staircase with a silver tray. Someone will see you–the thought hisses through his mind and Regulus knows, suddenly, with a clarity he’s been lacking: its not real. It’s not a part of this. A dream? The idea s fleeting and wilts under a brush of light as the curtains behind him are pulled open.

“Then go ahead, darling.” Narcissa says.  

The memory jerks, skitters, speeds up.

“I’ve food for the prisoner.” He says. “I’ve food for–”

Regulus is down stairs and the food is gone, shoved to the side. The lip of the tray is pressed into his ankle but Regulus ignores it because–James.

“Listen to me,” Regulus is saying. It’s strange, like none of this is real because he can’t feel any of it. The words fall from his mouth because where is his tongue? His wand is tight in his left hand, the swirls carved into its handle cutting into his palm. He should smell blood, he thinks.  

There’s nothing, though. The room is bleary with weak autumn light from a small window about ten feet above them. There’s a bed but James isn’t allowed to use it. He’s on the floor. Regulus is on the floor. No, he’s straddling James–James can’t move during this or else–or else.

James tenses under him and Regulus grabs a fist full of James’ fraying robes. “This is serious.” The robes are too tattered to bruise when Regulus’ jerks them. He can’t strangle James (and wouldn’t even if it would be a mercy)

“Why should I?” James, the fucker–it had been a month and he still had that smirk except there’s blood at the corner and this time (not the first time) Regulus can feel his stomach growl at the sight of it.

“It’s important.” Regulus has his wand pressed at James’ temple and his mouth brushes James’ cheek when he leans in to whisper. “You’ll thank me later.”

Regulus Black has never been good at mind magic.

When Regulus wakes up, he tastes salt water and bile.

Exploration:

Please share three things you’d like to explore. This could be a character changing sides, darker themes, or basic fiction tropes.

Family Lines: I think this game provides a particularly interesting set of circumstances regarding possible family lines. First there’s Narcissa and her condition–how did that happen? Possibly Regulus, trying to manage his life post cave and fucking up again ( or maybe it was a blessing?) I like to headcanon that maybe Alphard was a vampire and thats where the blood came from (open to other options). Speaking of, how has Walburga doing? And then there’s, of course, Sirius and all the brother’s baggage which is made even more complicated as (if this set up is accepted) Regulus sort of used Sirius’ best friend as a last will and testament–not that James remembers it yet. Last, … does Regulus even count as a live anymore and if not who has inherited ?

A Family Curse: The Black family has never exactly been known for its cool head and steady hands but Regulus, for all his somewhat muffled anxieties, has mostly stood out as awkward but not particularly memorable. In fact, it’s safe to say without his last name (and grades) Regulus probably wouldn’t have gotten much notice at all. That has largely changed now, although Regulus has trouble pin pointing why and how. There are a lot of factors, many of which no one else knows, and Regulus should care about that. He should be highly concerned–but those concerns evaporate before he can even generate a game plan to consider addressing it. Most seem to assume that its just Regulus taking after his mother. TLDR I’m interested in seeing what information he drops (likely not entirely clearly) without thinking it through and how the changes in demeanor and method impact both those who grew up with Regulus Black and those who didn’t. Don’t worry about wangst, I’m much more interested in throwing weird or intense tings at others then have Regulus mope.

Choices mixed in with all of that, Regulus has found himself well and truly on his own about making choices for the first time in his life. Sure, Remus might have ideas on what he should do, and Sirius, and Marcus, and Narcissa—but all of them have different goals, different expectations of what Regulus could do and in the end, Regulus doesn’t have to do anything. At the onset the only thing he does know is that he must do something about the horcrux…but how? When, where, and why? I want to see how different interactions with various characters might influence those choices and how Regulus handles managing his own reigns ow for better or for worse.

Gender: its so easy to boil gender and trans experience into one narrative but so often things are far…messier then that. Regulus is a character who hasn’t felt the ability to think overly hard (or pursue if he has thought of it) alternatives to gender even if the Wix Community at large is accepting (people turn into frogs, after all). This game provides a unique chance to explore gender through the lense of a character who is learning and failing and not overly confident (or overly feminine) but genuine in that (at least) if nothing else. Also, does being a vampire effect Attisgalli Corrective Draught?

Extras:

Anything else you’d like to provide?

[ellenzone]

The Struggle of Trans Positivity

I think I’ve talked about this before, but it’s worth writing about again in light of recent alarmism and potential threats to portions of the Affordable Care Act that protect trans folks. I wrote a book for 12-17 year olds called Coping with Gender Dysphoria. It acts as a primer on what gender dysphoria is, what being transgender can look like, and the strategies trans people and their allies can employ to combat the impact of gender dysphoria.

I wrote this book over most of January and throughout some of early February. Being that it's a book primarily for kids and teens who are dealing with gender dysphoria, my goal was to make the book accessible, practical, impartial, and realistic. I wanted the advice, strategies, and definitions within the text to be applicable across a wide swath of trans experience; to be immediately relevant to the book's audience; and instill a feeling of hope in the young adults reading it, whether they're trans themselves or they're merely trying to help a loved one cope with dysphoria.

I tried to write a book full of actionable strategies. It's aimed at an audience that's largely in the US, with some advice that could perhaps be relevant and accessible for readers in Canada. Even with that kind of a target, it was hard to provide advice that could equally apply to a reader in the Bay Area and a reader in, say, Tennessee. In pursuit of being transparent with the reader, I tried to make it clear that their rights were in flux. While the book comes from a place of optimism, and ultimately argues that things have been worse, I trusted the reader to understand that the strategies that would work for one kind of person in one particular place wouldn't be universal. I attempted to provide resources and advice that would work for everyone, even in the face of that struggle, but I fear the words I wrote may quickly become outdated by the time the book actually ships.

Writing this book throughout January was difficult. Watching the inauguration and the stream of conservative appointments, I became immediately worried that any optimism I shared would become moot, and that some of the advice I gave would become impossible to act upon. That fear became more visceral as news of religious freedom orders and rejections of trans-friendly policies flooded my Twitter timeline and sent my friends into a panic. I did my best to stay strong - I needed this book to have a positive message for the audience reading it, even if I worried that positivity was pointless.

I think back to election night. I remember staying up for hours, worrying about what might be. Talking with my then-girlfriend about our vague plans for getting married and the necessity of making that happen sooner - we got engaged just over a month later. I panicked, as my legal identity change was a process I had put off, and I set about to fill out court documents and secure a date for my name change as soon as humanly possible. I remember my friends doing the same thing, I remember the fundraisers and the pro-bono legal advice and the people offering to do impromptu marriage ceremonies before inauguration. I began to fear the ramifications of losing all these points of progress I had taken for granted. Somehow, all of this, even just months ago, feels so distant.

As much as I feared losing these essential rights, I reiterated each of them as if gospel in the book I wrote. I feel guilty for that. I tried to be realistic with the reader, expressing the danger of challenges to these rights and offering potential backup strategies in response to their loss. Even still, I couldn't let my fear dictate my work, and I needed to go off reality. The reality then is the reality now: many of the essential rights we fear losing are still in-tact, even as recurring threats loom on the horizon. I often remind myself the same thing I reminded the people who will read my book later this year: even if threats to our rights exist, we have options for survival. We need to cherish the progress we have made and defend it.

Fear is overwhelming and very powerful. Sometimes, it can prompt you to feel like you've already lost. I feel that way, occasionally, when I read about the havoc being wreaked by this administration. It's so very hard to hold onto hope and positivity and progress in light of how quickly things seem to be evaporating. In writing this book, I tried to remember exactly how far we've come and how much we have to lose if we don't fight. I wanted my audience to know that no matter how tough things get, there are more people that support them than ever before, and they have more options than ever before. Those options, that progress, it's all worth fighting for.

I followed up that book pretty much immediately with a second, one on the history of the queer rights movement, for the same audience. It was a sobering book to write - and much more difficult, mind you. The first book was rooted in far more personal experience and knowledge. The second, however, involved a lot more research. I'll be the first to admit that there is so much about our history that I had yet to learn. The exciting thing about writing that book is that I truly believe I learned about as much as my readers will. Doing the research for that second book, learning about how far we've come and the people that fought before me, reminded me just how much progress we've gained.

There are days when it still hurts. There are times when it aches and it feels like everything I care about is being taken away in an instant. However, I've realized something in having to be positive for the sake of queer and trans kids. Staying glued to that hurt, focusing on loss over progress, and feeling powerless instead of feeling the will to fight aren't going to help. We aren't going to win if we don't do everything we can to survive. Sometimes that doesn't feel realistic. Sometimes, it feels foolish and ignorant. But on days like today, when I read again on Twitter about the impending loss of all our rights, it's what I need to hold onto.

I don't want to keep fighting either. I want a victory to be a victory, I want progress to be permanent, and I want the struggle for equality and dignity for queer folks and all people to end. As much guilt and worry I might feel for talking about rights and strategies that may be gone some day, I want to believe I was telling the truth to those kids. I'm driven to ensure that the strategies I discussed in that book remain viable and are one day expanded upon. We need to hold onto the progress we've gained as best we can. We have survived so much - writing that history book taught me that as much as anything else. I feel compelled to believe in a better future, for the sake of those who fought before me and of those who look to me to fight for them.

[hughshannon1994]

Last Longer In Bed Astonishing Useful Ideas

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Ejaculation By Command Information

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What To Cure Premature Ejaculation

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