#i feel like this means my casual vocal training is paying off

[lexicog]

𝖠 A AＡ ♫𝅗𝅥

[colossal-fallout]

[ Classified ]

The full report - Eren Yeager

The following report details all information on Eren Yeager. Contains NSFW content and reader must be over the age of 18 to view this document.

For your eyes only.

Name: Eren Yeager

Birthplace: Shiganshina

Height: 180cm / 5ft 9"

General

[ A1 ]

Appearance & Hygiene practices:

Eren's chestnut brown hair is always clean and fresh. Whenever he pays you a late night visit, he'll have most probably just gotten out of the shower. Coconut scented shampoo of sorts? Whatever it is, it smells so good.

Prefers showers over a bathe. He says it's to save time, but he spends a good 40 - 60 minutes in there, easily.

Once he's dry, likes to throw on jogger bottoms and a hoodie over his bare skin. His bare skin that is now so soft and scented as his favourite shower gel which is either tea-tree oil or Coconut.

If he wants to remain clean shaven, Eren must shave every 2-3 days. Sometimes he likes to grow it out but nothing ever past a long stubble.

Minimal body hair.

Trims the hairs on his pubic bone/lower stomach. Has pleasuring you in mind as he does so. Will take into consideration the friction against you.

Totally clean shaven testicles.

Eren's nails are short but that's because he bites them. [ see section A3 ]

Beautiful set of teeth. Brushes twice daily in a modern AU.

Eren adores it when you brush his hair for him. He finds it extremely relaxing as you massage his scalp. His eyes will close and a small, barely audible hum will emit from time to time.

Eren's skin care routine is pretty basic. All of the steam from sitting in his hot, frequent showers for so long seems to do him wonders - his skin is flawless and worthy of envy.

Due to the healing power of being a Titan shifter, Eren has no scars.

Eren has quite large hands with long fingers. He doesn't wear rings or jewellery as it reminds him of the burden of when he had to keep that damn key on him at all times. Will however, put up with a wedding ring.

[A2]

Body & Love language:

Eren is a pretty introverted person. His hands are usually tucked away inside of his pockets - be it either trousers or hoody/jacket.

He hunches a little too. Likes to feel hidden. He's had enough attention over the years and wants nothing more than to just shrink away in a crowded room. Or maybe, it's the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Brooding, moody exterior. Extreme "resting bitch face"

Shrugs a lot. At first glance, you'd think he was a moody teenager trapped in a grown man's body.

Likes to sit with his feet flat up on the chair with his knees splayed - you'll usually find him like this with an arm resting over a knee while the other is at a 90 degree angle pointing away from his hip.

Fumbles his hands together in formal occasions when he can't sit so casually or tuck them away.

Likes to drape his arm over you without touching you. His arm will rest above you on the top of the chair. A clear indication of "They're mine" and "I will keep you safe"

His hips will usually be swivelled in your direction, regardless of where you are in the room. A subconscious body language of sexual yearning.

Eren likes to hold hands with you when you're walking. He's not huge on PDA but likes the strong yet subtle showings that you're together.

Tends to rub his thumb over the back of your hand absent-mindedly when you do so.

His love languages include physical touch. Can get very needy and touch starved pretty easily. Not in a overbearing way, but even just a run of his slender fingers through your hair is enough to keep him going until the two of you are in a more private setting.

[A3]

Bad Habits & Tendencies:

As mentioned above, Eren bites his finger nails. His toe nails too. It's pretty gross to be honest.

He never does it in public, but he has been known to do it in front of you when he feels comfortable enough to do so.

Get's very fidgety when irritated or annoyed, which is pretty often. Especially if Jean is around.

Short temper. He's learned to tame it more over the years where he doesn't show it so easily. But everyone has their limit and when his is reached, his yell is booming and pretty intimidating.

During an argument with you he has been known to raise his voice, but it's not the frightening roar you've heard him unleash on others before.

Always apologises to you after he's calmed down. Even though it wasn't that bad.

If you two ever have a bad falling out, will lock himself away for days. He'll be pissed at himself for letting it get so bad and depressed that you two are having such problems. But he'll do anything he can to fix it.

[ A4 ]

Common misconceptions:

Obviously everyone has their own cannons and opinions. But I don't personally see Eren as being an abusive partner. Yeah, he has his problems and treats his friends like shit but there's a reason for that we'll probably see in the last chapter. If you're worthy enough to pierce that cold and distant shell, you're a very special person and he'll treat you as such.

Eren actually has a large heart hidden under that huge chip on his shoulder. He cares and loves the people around him unconditionally. Even to the point of carrying out mass genocide to protect them.

Still... He does have a dark side to be weary of at times.

Even though he's gross while in Liberio, usually Eren is actually pretty clean.

[ A5 ]

Food & Drink:

In a Modern AU Eren loves fancy coffees with the weird names. The longer to pronounce, the better. He just likes the fact they give him energy and the fancier ones taste good.

Due to not having meat for so long, a good ol' fashioned beef/lamb stew is his favourite.

Doesn't drink in canon.

Modern AU, his alcoholic beverage of choice is bottles of beer and craft ales. Sometimes is a sucker for red wine.

[ A6 ]

Modern Au:

Eren wears loose clothing. Hoodies, loose jeans, those baggy cardigans too.

His texting style is spam over one long message. Especially if he's pissed off. He's too impatient to sit and type in paragraphs.

Drives a black car. Don't ask me what type, I don't know cars. But it's black, 'kay?

It also has "black ice" air freshener inside.

Likes to ride quads and mopeds along fields. He's a thrill seeker. Rollercoasters, bungee jumping... you name it he's game.

Eren plays the guitar. He took lessons for it but after about a year he just went his own way and self-taught.

If he sees a guitar at a party, he will pick it up and play it. He won't sing though.

He actually hates singing. He finds it embarrassing.

Always has in his air pods/earphones.

Likes any sort of music that is catchy.

Probably streams on Twitch. He won't talk much though.

Could have a wide range of jobs. Coffee shop, could be in college, might be a ride attendant... who knows? It's anyone's guess what Eren is doing. He doesn't talk about himself that much.

Romance & NSFW

[ B1 ]

Crush:

Eren would definitely be in denial he has a crush on you at first.

• “Does y/n seem different to you?”

Armin; “No…? In what way?”

“I dunno… Just, different.”

• His poor stubborn brain would be ticking for weeks as to why he suddenly wants to be near you a lot more often and has urges to touch you, even if it’s just a slight brush against your arm.

• Will find any excuse to do extra training with you

• Once he FINALLY clicks on as to why he’s had these feelings, he’ll be pretty knocked off his feet and a little annoyed at himself.

I’m here to kill the enemy...

• Still though… Can’t seem to keep himself away.

[ B2 ]

First kiss & general kisses:

After the initial denial and keeping himself away, he'll just decide one day he's had enough of feeling this way and decides to to something about it.

He won't shove himself onto you. He'll do some sly probing to see if there is any indication of reciprocation.

Knowing Eren, he'll indirectly piss you off or insult you. He didn't mean to. He's just lacking social skills. Man aint smooth.

You'll slap him, probably, where he'll keep his head away from you for a few seconds, realising he's pushed you too far. Whichever side you palmed him away, he'll stay.

He'll slowly return his gaze to yours before gently holding your arms, apologising and planting his lips onto yours.

His general kisses are quite firm and forceful. Not in an aggressive way, but a "god I want you so bad" way.

Always either slides his arms around your waist or cups your face/head.

He tastes like sweetened tea <3 / Coffee in a Modern AU

Loves coming from behind and snaking his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck when you're doing something. Doesn't like it when your attention is away from him for too long.

When he's feeling soft and tender, will dance his nose with yours and catching your mouth in a caress.

When he's super turned on, he'll suck your tongue, bite your bottom lip and kiss anywhere he can.

[ B3 ]

Sex:

Ha ~~!

Eren is up there with the best when it comes to sex. He knows what he's doing and he does it well.

Extremely skilled with his fingers and tongue. He'll have you crawling the walls with hysteria as he likes to tease you throughout the day. He more than makes up for it, though.

Gropes, nips, kisses, licks, bites, flicks... anywhere and everywhere he can.

Is the most vocal when you perform oral sex on him. Will groan so deeply, his entire body will vibrate.

Dirty talk is this man's second language.

"Look how desperate you are for me." / "Look how desperate for you you've gotten me..."

"Do I feel good like this?"

"Am I making you feel good baby?"

"You're so good at that. Fuck, such a good girl/boy"

"S'so fuckin' tight."

"You're my little fuck thing, aren't you?"

"You're perfect."

"I love you..."

Are some of the many things you'll hear while he's fucking you.

He doesn't really have a favourite position. He'll gladly take you anyway he can. If he's in a rough mood, he'll bend you over the sofa, take you up against the wall... But if he's feeling more soft he'll make slow, passionate love to you for hours.

He does have a strong soft side at times.

Dominic Dominant. He loves seeing you totally at his mercy, the power over you the most arousing thing in the world to him.

Big daddy dilf vibes. He knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking good at it too.

The only time he’ll sub is if he wants to be lazy - letting you ride him and use him to your heart’s content.

Dirty talk. It can get pretty degrading at times. If you’re not into that, he respects that boundary.

Will absolutely ruin you.

Low-key loves it when you claw his back in hysteria. He thrives knowing he can send you absolutely insane, and he can just heal the claw marks in a matter of seconds. Sometimes even during sex (which is the hottest thing ever)

In an AU modern, he would love to fuck you near a large mirror or record you both getting at it to watch at a later date.

A lot of hissing, humming and low groaning, especially when he’s close to unloading.

Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Hair pulling is his overload language. Will tug fistfuls when he gets too turned on.

[ B4 ]

Kinks:

The risk of getting caught. He likes having risky sex in semi public locations. Makes a game of how loud he can get you to moan, knowing someone would probably hear you.

Light Degradation. When he’s in a rough mood, he doesn’t mind calling you a few names. Nothing too extreme. And if it’s not your thing, he’ll respect that boundary.

Loves a good ol’ 69. Having you on his face with your ass in view is just… *Chef’s kiss*

Speaking of ass, he loves to bend you over too, allowing himself in nice and deep with a great view and something Juicy to grab.

[ B5 ]

Aftercare:

Aftercare with Eren isn’t anything special unfortunately. He’s another who gets sleepy after sex.

Won’t ignore you though. Often lazy pillow talk is on the cards and telling you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you are.

Will run his fingers across your scalp to soothe you.

Also will kiss any bite marks or finger bruises he’s left behind and ask if you’re okay.

Relationship with loved ones & becoming serious

[ C1 ]

Friends & Family:

When Eren meet's your friends family he will be polite yet quiet. He wants them to like him but he won't pine for their approval. If they like him, awesome. If they don't...? No big deal.

Same goes with your friends. He'll stay quiet until spoken to at first, but once he's been eased into conversation, he'll flow with it a lot easier.

Again, he'll be polite but don't expect him to kiss ass, because he certainly wont.

[ C2 ]

Marriage:

You couldn’t actually believe Eren had proposed. Although he was down on one knee in front of your very eyes, your mind just wasn’t accepting it. Folks and onlookers watched with bated breath, awaiting your answer. He sure kept this surprise hidden well…

Of course, you said yes and he picked you up by your waist in a spin, colliding his lips to yours.

And now here he was, watching you walk down the aisle, a lump in his throat and his heart racing.

You looked gorgeous, like something from a fairy tale.

And of course, he looked as handsome as ever. His suit was smart and his hair was up in its usual bun.

Armin is his best man, of course; who is standing and beaming with pride.

Eren holds back his chokes and tears as he reads his vows;

“Y/N… From the first time I ever laid eyes on you, all those years ago, I knew you would be in my life forever. Back then, I didn’t think it would be as my wife, but God I am so glad it is. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and irrational behaviour when we were young. But despite that you still loved, and stood by me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. I vow to always stand beside you, whatever the world throws at us. I vow to hold you when you need support. I vow to remember how you always had my back no matter what. And I vow to always love you, with my heart and soul, until the day I die and after.”

The room erupts in cheers and tears when you seal your kiss.

The reception is wild.

Everyone is drunk (except Levi) and dancing. Reiner and Connie are dancing like weirdos, Reiner's blazer removed and at one point Connie is on his shoulders.

Sasha has too much to drink and is spewing in the bathroom.

Mikasa can’t stop crying with happiness and pride.

He carries you to your room afterwards where you spend all night sealing a special bond that will never be broken.

[ C3 ]

Children:

Eren has a soft spot for children, believe it or not. As seen before the expedition to the forest of giant trees. He sees his old self behind the innocent glint of unaltered admiration within a child's eyes.

He's not super into child play though. He wont pull weird voices or funny faces. He'll sit at their level and speak to them like they were anyone else. Obviously, watching what he says around them.

If they're unchecked and acting themselves, he'll become quickly annoyed as they wreck havoc around him and will have to leave the room or he'll get too agitated.

If his s/o discovers they're pregnant he'll seem to take it well. But inside he's falling apart and freaking out. He won't ever show it to them, but he doesn't know how he could be a father. Would he be like his own? Would he be able to be a good figure to look up to? What if he fails? Is it selfish to bring a child into this cruel world?

He'll be shocked but understandably so. After after a couple of weeks of self-reflection and brooding, he'll start to feel better about the whole thing.

More protective over his s/o than usual. Will make sure they're eating, drinking, resting and god help you if he finds you doing something you shouldn't such as trying to lift something heavy.

Will hold your hair and rub you back, as well as bring you water while you're having your morning sickness.

"Babe? It's four in the afternoon. How come you're still sick?"

"Eren, it's called morning sickness but it can happen any time."

He'll click his tongue. "....That's a dumb name, then."

The first time he feels the baby kick within you, his heart absolutely melts. His eyes enlarge and you could swear you saw them soften with that spark behind his emerald greens he had when you were younger.

His large palm is warm against your stomach as he feels around, the little flutter of your child hitting against his skin making him flinch in surprise at first.

"Woah..." He'll gasp in amazement. "They're already so strong. Hey, y/n? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes." You'll laugh softly.

He'll gingerly place his face to your skin, a little embarrassed he's doing this; but he feels the need. "...Don't hurt your mom, okay?"

As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, he will not leave your side. If he has to, he'll be worrying and you'll be occupying his mind. In a modern au, he'll constantly call and text and will get Mikasa or Armin to check in on you often.

Will be so gentle during love making. He's terrified he'll hurt the baby.

One of the only times you've seen Eren panic in his adult life is when your waters break.

You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. Climbed back into bed and felt a strange pressure, followed by a pop. Then a warm gushing sensation. You wait a few seconds to settle your own panic before you nudge Eren awake.

"Eren..."

He'll bolt up, confused. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Eren, my waters have broken."

"Shit. Okay. Shit. What do we do? Shit." He'll leap out of bed and throw the lights on. You get to your feet where more water will start to drop onto the floor. "Shit, shit. I'll get the bag. Do you need help getting dressed? Okay, where's my jacket? WHERE'S MY JACKET?!"

"Eren, honey I need to you calm down."

"Okay, sorry. I'm calm. Shit. Shit..."

Will hold your hand with a worried look the entire time you're in labour. Has water and snacks on hand.

Will watch in amazement as your child is pushed into the world. This magical moment changes something in him, but right now he's not sure what that is.

They will bond immediately. As soon as he holds your son/daughter he can't take his wide gaze off them.

They're inseparable.

Any doubts of being a bad father is washed away as he takes them under his wing and teaches them about the world.

[dalish-spectre]

Trust the abyss - a Baldur's Gate 3 backstory. Ch. 4 Haunting riffs of a vazhan-do pierced the air accompanied by the sharp vocals of a deathsinger – drow bards whose vocals could command the undead if they so chose.

Tonight, however, this vocalist was entertaining rowdy crowds of guards from the various noble houses of Menzoberranzan at a tavern located on the fringes of the bazaar.

It was called the Jewel Box and Dinin had never been anywhere like it before.

He had never been this drunk before either.

Kelzt and Masryn had insisted on dragging him out of House Darketh’s perimeters and into the noisy crowded streets of the heart of the spider city.

Before House Do’Urden fell, the former elder-boy had only visited the bazaar on rare occasions when his Matron Mother had required him to. He had never been permitted to drink. Even after joining Bregan D’aerthe, he had only ever indulged in a few drinks with the band’s leader Jarlaxle. He preferred to keep his mind sharp and sober but going undercover as a guard within Darketh, his first mission as a houseless rogue, he was expected to play the part.

It would be suspicious if he refused to drink with the two guards that had decided to befriend him.

He didn’t know how much algae ale they’d be able to polish back.

So here he was, five ales deep, being dragged into a brothel by two drow he hardly knew.

“Don’t scowl so much, Dinyrr, you’ll scare the whores away,” laughed Kelzt as they’d stepped through the door. “I’d say a brush with death is a perfect reason to wet one’s blade somewhere other than the belly of a hook horror.”

Masryn chortled from beside him. “Maybe that’s what he wants – have you ever been to a whorehouse before? I’ve heard Gracklestugh has several.”

“I’ve no need of whorehouses,” Dinin replied coolly as they took a seat at a stalagmite table, the alcohol softened the usual edge of his voice.

Kelzt’s own laugh reverberated through the cavern as he motioned a serving slave over.

“We’ll take a bottle of sul-paga here,” he said to an older dwarven woman who had been around long enough to not bother flashing her eyes in an alluring manner. She simply nodded and wandered back towards the bar.

The Jewel Box was filled with tables made of stalagmites, twisting upwards with slate tops. Stone benches on either side accommodated guests who wanted to sit.

It was lit by faerie fire, candles and glowing blue fungi wound its way around various stalactites that protruded down from the ceiling giving the place a very ethereal feel.

Kelzt rubbed his hands together as he looked around the room.

“We got here just in time,” he said. “Narbondel has only just died and that means the artists will be coming down soon.”

Dinin cocked an eyebrow.

“Artists?” He tried not to roll his eyes. “Why are they called artists?”

Masryn snorted.

“Why do you think? They are trained in the arts of sexual pleasure,” the young drow emphasized the first part of the word for effect, waggling his white brows up and down.

Dinin ran his fingers through his shoulder-length hair anxiously. He needed another drink.

His hopes were soon answered as the dwarven woman returned with three glasses and a large bottle of sul-paga.

The crisp, distilled scent of the alcohol pricked the hairs up on the back of his neck as he watched Kelzt pour the clear liquid into his cup.

Masryn drank his own glass deeply, scrunching his face up. Dinin had only drank wine when he lived in House Do’Urden and he tried desperately not to make a face as the sul-paga burned his throat on the way down.

Sputtering, he wiped a gloved hand across his lips.

Kelzt watched the two younger drow, mirth shining in his dark red eyes as he casually sipped his own drink.

“Ah, youth rushes into everything – sul paga is to sip lads, it is made of the finest sul roots this side of the Underdark.”

The music took a frantic toll as the singer began the first verses of the beginning of Tornan’s Guts – a common song in Menzoberrazan though Dinin was not familiar with the words.

Chants and hymns to Lloth were all he knew of music. He found his foot tapping to the rhythm of the vahzan-do while a table next to them burst out singing loudly and offkey.

O’ Tornan was a great warrior indeed

The greatest warrior did Menzoberranzan ever see

A bell rang out above the singing, Dinin followed Masryn and Kelzt’s gaze at it shifted towards a staircase at the back of the room.

He took another swig of sul-paga as he watched silk-clad figures make their way down the stairs and mingle with the tables.

Much to Dinin’s dismay, his scowl did not in fact keep the whores away.

A surface elf slave with long red hair twined her way over to their table and sat down beside Masryn.

The last time he had been this close to a surface elf, he had inadvertently witnessed his family’s doom as his brother failed to please Lloth by killing one.

She spoke Undercommon quite well, he supposed, but he could not bring himself to find her attractive.

Masryn however had fallen under the enchantment of her tinkling laughter. She clutched a glass of dark liquor in one hand and used the other to brush away a strand of hair from the younger drow’s face.

“I personally don’t understand the appeal,” said Kelzt, watching the surface elf lead Masryn from the table. “Our young friend however appears to have a liking for pale flesh albeit a sadistic pleasure – here, anything goes as long as you don’t mark their faces.

It’s a pleasure house yes but it’s also a place where men are freely allowed to take out any emotion on a female.”

Dinin scoffed, “Surface females don’t matter.”

“Aye but it’s not just surface females here – there are drow ones as well, low-cast but drow,” Kelzt replied. “Master Dro pays a pretty penny to the council to keep the place in operation.”

The older drow explained how he thought the Matron Mother’s figured if there was a place the common guards could blow off steam it would make them more pliable.

“I’ve heard from our weapons master himself that Matron of Darketh pays the tab here for us idiots to keep us in line,” he continued. “If keeping me in line means all the paga and ale I can drink and a warm place to lay my cock then I’m all for it.”

“I could think of worse things I suppose,” Dinin swirled the clear liquid in his glass pensively. He watched a human female take off her top across the room with mild interest. Peals of laughter rang out from behind their table as a slender male drow clothed in a silk robe poured wine down a guard’s throat.

“It appears they cater to all tastes here,” He shifted in his seat to face Kelzt again. The alcohol was making his face warm or was it the atmosphere which was becoming slowly more debaucherous.

Kelzt nodded his head and took another drink.

He stole a priestess’s virginity

The scandalous line of Tornan’s Guts rang out above the din. Some of the crowd cheered and Dinin glanced over his shoulder, fearing the sting of a snake-headed whip.

Feeling none, the tension in his shoulders released. Old habits died hard.

For this Lloth could not forget

Tornan would have to pay his debt

She put a toll upon his soul

Kelzt had begun to sing along, periodically punching the air with the hand holding his glass, grinning.

A small smile tugged at the corner of Dinin’s lip as he watched the merrymaking a scene quite unfamiliar to him.

“Don’t you find it kind of funny that we’re singing a song about a man who was killed for defiling a woman at a place where men come to defile women?” Dinin asked, raising his voice over the chaos.

Kelzt laughed.

“The irony is not lost on me, young one.”

Suddenly a young male slid in between the two of them.

“Why Kelzt, I thought you had forgotten me,” the newcomer’s voice was smooth. His head was shaved on either side leaving a disheveled white strip of hair – black orbs for eyes that glittered in the candlelight of the table.

Dinin begrudgingly shifted to make room for Kelzt’s friend. The boy had a pleasing enough face and a cocky air about him.

“Ah, Naxir, how could I forget about you, you bring an old warrior so much joy,” Kelzt slid his arm around the younger drow.

“Such sweet words,” Naxir laughed and turned to fix Dinin in his stare. “Hello, who is this treat? Will he be joining us this evening?”

Kelzt laughed and shook his head while Dinin felt his cheeks burn. It had been sometime since he had indulged in the carnal pleasures of flesh and while Naxir was attractive, the thought of seeing the older soldier rutting didn’t interest him at all.

“I think I’ll pass this time,” he poured himself another drink and let his gaze wander as he halfheartedly listened to the old warrior flirt with the handsome young drow.

Tornan’s Guts had ended, and the bard seemed to be taking the crowd in the direction of a sensual macabre tune.

A familiar laugh rang out and Dinin noticed Taztar, the patrol leader of his squad, sitting two tables to the side of them with some other guards from House Darketh.

A slender figure in a short, flowing red dress was gyrating before them, unbound hair illuminated by faerie fire.

“Come closer, girl,” he heard Taztar growl and watched as the girl obeyed. Her skin was not as dark as Dinin’s and as she moved closer to the candlelit table, he could tell her hair was a dark silvery colour.

Suddenly one of the guards’ arms shot out and poured a mug of ale over her head. “Get out of here half-breed, you can tell Dro that I want the real drow tonight.”

Laughter exploded from the table as Taztar said, “We all want a real drow tonight lads.”

Dinin watched intently as the girl’s hand clenched at her side, the shocked look on her face quickly replaced by anger and she swung her fist, a soft thud as it connected with the guard’s face. Just as quickly as it happened, Taztar reached out and grabbed the girls arm and pulled her in roughly.

He couldn’t make out what the patrol leader said before shoving the girl backwards.

Impressed, he watched as she strode toward his table, delicate brows furrowed as she fought to keep a smile on her face.

As she passed, he found himself drawn to her – her delicate features belaying the scowl she was trying not to show.

He watched her enter a door near the back and come back out again with a white-haired female drow. They parted and for a moment he watched the new girl saunter over to Taztar’s table.

It was then he realized that Kelzt and his friend had left him alone. At least they had left him the bottle, but he cursed as he went to pour himself a drink.

What in the hells was he going to do now, wait for them to finish rutting?

Sipping his drink, he glanced about for the girl with the dark hair again when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

He was mortified to see it was her.

“You’re staring at me.” Her voice was terse. “Do you see something that you like?”

Her arms were crossed causing the curves of her breast to peek up from the low cut of her dress.

“Yes – I mean, no, I’m not here to …” His words caught on his tongue as she glared at him.

She rolled her eyes. “That’s what they all say at first.”

“Well, I can guarantee you that I’m not like they,” he said. “And I’m not here looking for sex.”

“Let me guess, you probably have no problem picking up women – or men, whichever you prefer,” the girl sat down beside him and propped her cheek up with her hand.

Her eyes swept him up and down, assessing him. He leaned back in his seat fixing her with his own cool stare.

“Whichever I prefer depends on many things – why did you punch that guard, surely you’re lucky to not be injured,” he asked, truly curious.

To his surprise, she laughed, a strange melodic chuckle that made him want to laugh with her though he knew not why – probably the blasted sul-paga Kelzt had fed him.

Still he poured himself and the girl a glass.

“Hrazzra is an idiot, he comes here every tenday, my master hates him, but he likes Taztar’s money,” the girl paused, accepting the glass of liquor. “Besides, Taztar will make me pay for it later but it’s nothing I haven’t felt before.

“The trick is to make yourself numb and you don’t feel anything anymore.”

She emptied the glass with one smooth gulp without making a face. Dinin followed suit but was unable to keep the look of disgust off his face over the taste of the alcohol.

The girl laughed again.

“I prefer the taste of mushroom wine if I’m being perfectly honest,” he chuckled. “This stuff tastes like how the cleaners smell.”

“Mushroom wine – you have rich tastes for a common soldier.”

The alcohol had loosened his guard and he cursed himself inwardly.

“I have only been so fortunate that my former master would allow me wine after a victory in the slave pits of Graklestugh,” he attempted damage control, and briefly explained his backstory to the girl who watched his eyes intently as he told of how he was fortunate to be sold to House Darketh of Menzoberranzan.

“Well, former melee master of Gracklestugh, I bet I can find us some mushroom wine, stay where you are.”

The music remained at a mournful pace as she picked her way through the crowd towards the bar where the older dwarven lady polished the too-smooth slate.

It had been hours since Narbondel died and the number of patrons in the bar seemed to be getting less and less.

Dinin looked over to see that another surface elf had joined the white-haired drow girl at the patrol leader’s table. Only Taztar and two other soldiers remained and were tossing coins at the girls as they writhed on one another atop the stalagmite table.

“Noril and Alunira are very beautiful aren’t they,” Dinin almost jumped as the girl whispered in his ear, sitting back down beside him.

He turned to look at her and noticed she was grinning holding two large bottles of mushroom wine.

“I don’t have any fancy glasses, ussta zhennu sargitlan, but this is not a fancy place, we could drink it right from the bottle if we wished.” To emphasize her point, she uncorked a bottle and drank deeply, a little drip of liquid glowed green as it spilled from the corner of her lips.

He tried to hide the grin as she playfully called him my great warrior in high drow. For a slave, she was brazen and he found he liked talking to her.

“High drow, that’s an awfully rich language for a common slave,” he said, taking a swig of the wine, feeling almost sacrilegious drinking it straight from the bottle.

Her laugh was infectious as she snagged the bottle back from him, raising her eyebrows and cocking her head to the side.

She brought the tip of the bottle playfully to her lips before drinking then leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

“Maybe we both have … secrets,” her lips grazed his earlobe as she pulled away and offered him the wine coyly.

Flustered but intrigued, he changed the topic to mushroom wine and how it wasn’t as noble a drink as one might think as it was fermented from the most common fungi but as he was trying to cover up that the wine was made from mushrooms that had never seen any form of light, it was a highly arduous process, and she was nodding as if she believed him even though her eyes told him she didn’t, Taztar stumbled over to their table.

His breath reeked of ale.

“Ah, Dinyrr, I never expected to see you here – I didn’t know the house paid for slave soldiers to drink and fuck,” he slurred as he stood over them. “I see you’ve met my girl – Tavari – she may be a half-bred but she’s quite beautiful to look at.”

He gruffly grabbed her by the chin, forcing her to look up at him. Her gaze steeled over.

“Yes patrol leader, she’s quite nice,” Dinin forced himself to play his part, as this common man’s lesser when he could easily slice out Taztar’s tongue and present it to Jarlaxle.

“Indeed she is and I think she’s quite done talking with you – it’s time for her to repay her folly in punching Hrazzra, don’t you think?

"We’ll take that extra bottle of mushroom wine as well, Tavari will need the extra help tonight.”

He made a show of knocking over the almost empty bottle they had been sharing. Dinin ground his teeth.

“Come girl,” he wrenched her up from her seat. Her face paled in the candlelight, she looked disheartened.

Suddenly, Dinin rose from his seat and grabbed Taztar by the shoulder.

“The girl stays with me,” he said, the alcohol he consumed wouldn’t allow the slight of this mere man – this third patrol leader of the 35th house of Menzoberranzan taking away his enjoyment.

The bard, whose interest had been piqued by the exchange began to play a new tune he had been commissioned to write. A song that would surely get the males blood up as it told the tale of the destruction of a noble house.

The fall of House Do’Urden.

Taztar laughed and shrugged off Dinin’s hand.

“I’ll have you killed,” he sneered, not letting go of the girl’s wrist.

As the singer began to sing of Lloth forsaking a once ancient and noble house, Dinin noticed the words of the song, speaking of Zin-Carla, Malice’s folly and a wayward son.

“The girl is with me tonight,” he growled., stepping in front of of the solider.

“Are you stupid? Did you hear what I said – I’ll have you killed and if not, the weapons master will have you sacrificed to Lloth for breaking the chain of command,” Taztar replied, dropping the girl’s hand and clenching his own into a fist.

Their faces were inches from each other, Dinin breathed heavily, egged on by the song.

“You’re nothing – you worthless,” Taztar’s slew of insults were cut short by the crack of Dinin’s fist against his jaw.

The thicker drow swung back catching Dinin in the lip, splitting it open. He tried to grab Dinin but the former master of melee magthere’s reflexes were quick as he swept to the side. He wasn’t a fist fighter as some were but his swift blows fueled by alcohol and rage were enough to fell the shorter drow to the ground.

The bard remained impassive and kept singing. Those left sitting around the tables cheered and promptly resumed drinking.  Dinin’s heart was pounding. How dare there be a song about the fall of Do’Urden. He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. He had potentially blown his cover for his mission. What would Jarlaxle do to him? He opened his eyes to see the girl, whose name was Tavari, stand up from kneeling over the prone form of Taztar. Her fingertips looked for a second as if they had glowed.

“Come with me,” she said, picking up the bottle of wine from the ground.

She grabbed his hand, he jolted back to reality at the physical touch.

“Taztar won’t remember anything,” she assured him as she led him up the stairs. “But, let’s get out of here before Master Dro sees him on the floor.”

“You really knocked him out,” the girl giggled as she led him past rooms filled with moans. He followed her down a dark windowless hallway, lit sporadically by candles.

She opened the door to the last room on the left, lit a candle – did she use a match? Dinin wasn’t sure. The adrenaline was beginning to wear off and the alcohol was beginning to make him feel a little nauseous.

“Thank you for what you did back there, by the way, Taztar is awful, I hate him,” she crossed her legs as she sat down on the bed.

“I can assure you from working with him that I hate him as well. He allowed half of our latest patrol to be slaughtered by hook horrors,” Dinin replied, sitting beside the girl on the thin mattress. “We haven’t properly introduced ourselves, my name is Din-in-yrrr.” He almost stumbled out his real name. “Dinyrr, it’s Dinyrr. My apologies, I don’t usually drink this much.” He was embarrassed to note that he was almost slurring his own words.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Din-nin-yrr, my name is Tavari and I am always drunk,” the girl chuckled but the laugh didn’t reach her eyes.

“Just Dinyrr is fine, and you shouldn’t drink so much, it’s not good for the mind. A mind like yours is only diminished by liquor,” he sloppily scolded her.

“That’s very sweet,” she replied. “Now, you have me up here – you said I’m yours tonight, what would you wish of me?”

She began to slide off the thin red fabric that barely covered her lithe form, but Dinin stopped her muttering shhh.

“You don’t need to do that,” he said. “Let’s just finish this troublesome bottle of wine.”

He helped pull the dress back over her head. The girl, Tavari looked shocked then laughed, deep from her soul, her eyes gleaming in the candlelight. He couldn’t help but join her – he couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so much.

“What do you want to just talk?” She asked playfully. “I’ve never had a man nor woman ever buy me just to talk. It’s not normal.”

“I’m not normal,” he replied slurrishly, with a grin passing her back the bottle of wine.

She nodded her agreement.

“What do you want to talk about?���  She shifted closer to him, propping her cheek on her hand as she had earlier that night.

“Memories,” he replied, looking out the window, the streets of the bazaar were quiet this deep into Narbondel’s death.

“Good or bad,” she asked.

“Are there such things as good memories?” He countered, turning to look back at her again with a wry smile.

“Not really,” she shrugged.

They continued to pass the bottle back and forth, each sharing their own cryptic stories, edging towards truths they could never share with one another.

The last thing Dinin’s half-blurred vision noted as the two laid facing each other on the threadbare mattress was the colour of her eyes as Narbondel’s first light filtered through the small window.

Orange, like the flame of a candle. https://archiveofourown.org/works/33301066/chapters/84017953

[accioromione]

your last fic was nice... can you do a drunk! Hermione being horny for Ron please :( I like how you do it from Harry's POV

Omg okay I will try

It was a Hogsmeade weekend. Harry was excited because he had not seen Ginny in one month, he was also eager to see Hermione. He had grown used to her consistent voice of concerns that it felt oddly quiet without them. Ron, who was accompanying him was also ecstatic. When the two of them had decided to go onto Auror training, they had known that this would mean that they would spend the year separated from Ginny and Hermione, who had decided to return to Hogwarts.

Harry, although sad that he had to leave Ginny and Hermione aside, was happy he had Ron by his side. Doing Auror training with Ron reminded him of his Hogwarts days, when they would sit in the back of their classes and play around. However, Ron and Harry did not even remotely goof around during Auror training, the sense of having his best friend there gave training a more positive feel. Harry and Ron, who were no strangers to dark magic, did not struggle much in training. Harry had seen a great change in Ron in the last few years, he was talented, confident and determined, he also figured that having Hermione by his side was a factor at his new found confidence. Because Ron and Harry were excelling quite well in their training, they had been granted permission for a weekend off, which both of them had requested, in the hopes that they would be able to visit Ginny and Hermione. 

‘Are we apparating?’ Ron asked Harry, indicating towards his bags. 

‘I dunno, maybe we should floo’ Harry suggested, ‘you packed light’ he added, indicating towards Ron’s backpack, they had established that they would be staying in Hogsmeade for the weekend, both of them had gotten rooms in Hogsmeade, and although Hermione and Ginny weren’t technically allowed to sleep outside of Hogwarts, Harry was hoping she’d break the rules for him, he knew Ron was hoping the same thing about Hermione, and they both had a silent agreement  to not make it a topic of conversation. 

‘Well yeah, it’s just the weekend after-all, besides there’s a chance that Hermione won’t-’ he trailed off, his ears turning red,  ‘and I used the extendable curse Hermione taught me so I wouldn’t have too much to carry’ Ron responded, Harry hit his hand on his head, why hadn’t he thought of that? 

‘I should’ve thought of that’ Harry sighed, ‘sorry mate, apparition would be easier, I hate flooing’ 

‘It’s fine’ said Ron, ‘we can put the extendable charm on one of your bags and just put the other two in there’ Ron suggested, and he casually placed the charm on his smallest bag, Harry opened the bag to see that it was much larger on the inside. 

‘of course, brilliant,’ Harry said, ‘Hermione is really starting to influence you eh Ron, before you know it you’ll be quoting Hogwarts: a history’ 

Ron’s ears turned red, ‘doubtful- as much as I love her-’ he paused, blushing at what he had revealed to Harry ‘you could never catch me reading that, pretty sure she's the only person in the world to read it, bet you the Bathilda Bagshot didn’t even read it.’ Harry laughed, choosing to ignore Ron’s confession on his love for Hermione. 

Harry put the other two bags into the charmed one. 

‘Alright so that’s it, we’re settled then? They said they’d meet us outside the Three Broomsticks’ Ron told Harry, ‘wish they would’ve been able to go last week, y’know, for Hermione’s birthday’ Ron added 

‘S’all right, we’ll celebrate today’ Harry added, ‘ready?’ 

‘Ready, see you in a second mate’ Ron said, both of them pulled out their wands, Harry closed his eyes and thought of the Hogsmeade and the Three broomsticks, and sure enough Harry felt a sensation throughout his whole body that confirmed he was apparating, when he opened his eyes he saw the Three broomsticks and Ron standing by his side, who was now twisting his head, to look around for Hermione and Ginny. 

‘Where are they?’ Ron asked, stretching his neck, looking for any signs of Hermione or Ginny. 

Harry looked around too, and sure enough he saw a girl with bushy brown hair and smooth ginger locks making their way to them. Ron spotted them too, beaming at Hermione. 

‘Harry’ Ginny yelled, running at him.  Harry embraced her in a tight hug and placed his lips on her. Ron, who was too fixtated on Hermione, did not seem to mind this.  

‘Ron!’ Hermione yelled, beaming at him. He embraced Hermione, lifting her up off the ground and spinning her around, also going in for a kiss. Hermione put her arms around his shoulders and deepened it. After the excitement of seeing their significant others subsided, Harry gave Hermione a hug and Ron gave Ginny a hug. 

‘Nice to see you Harry!’ Hermione grinned, 

‘You too Hermione, happy belated birthday,’ he added, reaching in for his bag, when he felt his hand find a wrapped gift he took it out and gave it to her. 

‘Oh Harry, you didn’t have to! Thank you!’ Hermione said, taking it and giving him another hug. 

‘No problem, not as good as what Ron got you, but then again, he was worrying about it for a month, so I reckon I couldn’t have beat him anyway’ Harry added and Ron’s ears turned red. Harry and Ron were being paid for Auror training, and Ron, who had been worried about what to get Hermione a month prior to her birthday had been saving up just for her gift. Harry had gotten her a book, but Ron, who knew Hermione loved books, wanted to get her something that showed more significance in their relationship. They had been shopping around, and Ron had asked and looked around the whole day for a suitable gift for Hermione. In the end, Ron had bought a golden bracelet, that had sapphires, which was Hermione’s birthstone. encrusted in it. Ron had then spent money to get it magically customized so that, when it was placed on a book, it would be able to scan the whole book, and have it be able to recite the contents of the book either vocally, or could present the contents in a projection in front of the reader. Harry thought it was brilliant, it was like a magical audio book and projector all at once, when Harry had told Ron this he had looked at Harry confused, not realizing what an audio book or projector was. But it was perfect for Hermione, as she always had her back hunched reading, this way she’d be able to read at ease, and also have a pretty bracelet to wear. Ron had put all his savings and a lot of thought into the gift, and the idea of Ginny seeing that scared Harry for the expectations he’d have for her birthday. 

Hermione looked at him with a sparkle in his eye, ‘oh Ron you didn’t have to stress about my birthday gift- you just started training!’ 

‘I wanted to’ Ron said Hermione beamed at him ‘I er...want to give it to you in private, if that’s okay’ Ron said shyly to Hermione.

‘Harry and I are going to go for a stroll’ Ginny said, taking the hint, ‘we’ll meet you in the three broomsticks for drinks later’ 

Harry followed Ginny and they enjoyed their private time together. The only other date he’d ever gone on in Hogsmeade was the one with Cho in his fifth year, and he had to admit, this experience was much more enjoyable. As the evening approached, he and Ginny went to the three broomsticks, meeting up with Ron and Hermione, and the four of them settled at a booth. 

Harry sat beside Ginny and Ron sat beside Hermione, who was now wearing the golden bracelet Ron had bought him. They each ordered a couple of butterbeers, Ginny suggested a couple of firewhiskey’s as well to celebrate being together as well as Hermione’s birthday. Harry took one shot, and decided that was enough for him. Ginny had two shots and one butter beer, and seemed to able to handle it quite well for her size. Ron, much to Harry’s surprise, only had one firewhiskey and two butterbeers. Hermione, however, was already on her fourth shot of firewhiskey, and her face was looking flushed. She was about to order a fifth shot, and Ron shot her a look of concern. 

‘You don't think that’s enough for the night Hermione?’ Ron hesitantly asked 

Hermione’s cheeks were now a deep pink due to the effects of the alcohol, she smiled at Ron and hugged him. ‘You’re always so concerned about me you handsome man’ she said as she kissed him on the cheek 

‘Did you two see what he got me?’ she sighed at Harry and Hermione, and she drunkenly lifted her arm to show the bracelet on her hand. Ron’s ears turned red and Ginny giggled. 

‘Yes Hermione I know, you’ve told us two times’ Ginny said, smiling. 

‘He didn’t even have to! I just wanted to see him! Even if it was just a bracelet....but no he had to go get it all charmed too.....isn’t he amazing?’ Hermione sighed, looking at Ron adoringly. 

Ginny sighed, half amused, half annoyed at the adoration Hermione was showing for her brother.

‘Yeah, until you hear him singing in the shower’ Ginny teased

‘Oi!’ Ron said, his arm around Hermione, as he was supporting her to say up.

Hermione seemed to pay no mind to the joke, she put her head on Ron’s shoulder and sighed.... ‘Ou, you’re right, I love Ron in the shower......Especially when I’m there with him’ she said, now closing her eyes and embracing him. 

Ron coughed embarrassingly and Ginny looked disgusted. Harry also thought he could have done without that bit of information.  Hermione seemed to pay no mind to what she had said, she had drunkenly made her way onto Ron’s lap and Ron was supporting her back, making sure she would not tip over. 

‘You sick prat, you’re loving this’ Ginny said to Ron, 

But Ron also was paying no mind to Ginny. He had been keeping his composure in front of Harry and Ginny but it looked as though that had been eliminated the moment she had gone on his lap. Ron and Hermione were now sharing a heated kiss and Harry and Ginny looked at each-other awkwardly. 

‘Right- yeah, well....we’ll be off’ Ginny added, grabbing Harry’s hand and getting up, but the only response Ginny got was Ron moving his hands to put through Hermione’s hair. 

Harry retreated with Ginny, leaving money on the table for their drinks.

‘TAKE CARE OF HER RON....’ Ginny yelled back before exiting with Harry 

‘Right- well...’ Ginny said as they were now outside ‘now we know not to mix alcohol and Hermione’ 

‘Didn’t know she had it in her’ Harry added, looking at Ginny amused. 

‘All what Ron needs right? His head to get bigger?’ Ginny joked. 

‘They’re good for each-other,’ Harry said, ‘I doubt he see’s Hermione that way- he....he really loves her.’ 

Ginny looked at him, with a now serious face, ‘I know...she loves him too.’ 

‘And I love you’ Harry said simply, Ginny kissed him.

‘I love you too Harry’ Ginny responded.

‘I er, I was wondering , I got a room, and I know you’re not supposed to sleep outside of Hogwarts, but seeing as it’s the weekend and-’ he was interrupted with another kiss, 

‘Since when did you think I’d follow the rules?’ Ginny joked, ‘I’m not going to see you for another two months, of course I’ll spend the night here....Hermione will with Ron too obviously, reckon she’ll get in less trouble doing that than showing up at Hogwarts all pissed.’

Harry grinned, he and Ginny started to retreat and saw a Ron and Hermione also leaving the restaurant. Ron was carrying Hermione on his back, and she had her head buried in his shoulder, he saw Ron turn his head back to place a light kiss on Hermione’s forehead. 

‘At least I can say my brother’s a gentleman’ Ginny sighed, looking at the two of them. 

Harry, without a doubt, knew that Ron was indeed a gentleman, especially when it came to Hermione. And as Hermione’s close friend, he was very happy that she was with someone like Ron, who clearly cared about her very much. And with that, Harry and Ginny walked off, and Harry decided to forget that he would be separated from Ginny soon, and enjoy the rest of the weekend. 

(I thought this would be smutty but it ended up fluffy idk) 

[mindfulnessogmeditation]

mindfulness i skolen

Lately I have actually been reading concerning mindfulness, the act of stopping and also paying attention to the here and now. During the act of stopping, we quit assuming, lapse of memory and also the strong emotions that rule us. When we are exercising conscious breathing, consuming, walking, packing the dish washer, driving our automobile, grocery store buying and so on we are touching deeply today minute and also valuing the well being that is currently present in our everyday lives.

Normally when I do any one of these tasks I'm usually thinking of something that occurred in the past or planning the future, absolutely not regarding what I am really doing or perhaps where I am most of the moment. The number of times have I driven almost all the means to function and also questioned just how I arrived! What occurred to the last few miles of road?

There I was, on a fine summer season early morning, sitting on the actions of my front patio, mindfully eating my breakfast. I did wonder if consuming mindfully would make me feel more complete after a meal however instead of house on that idea which would have led me on the equine of no return, I simply went back to my grain and also the blueberries. "I am folding washing, be mindful of it", I responded and also brought myself back to the job at hand.

Throughout the day I practiced mindful walking, driving and also listening. Each time my galloping horse removed, I merely asked myself, "What are your doing?" and also returned to the currently. Each job, also if it was simply conscious breathing, came to be one of the most important work in my life then.

We are all having a hard time to find happiness as well as happiness in our lives. Living mindfully suggests that it is best before us daily in our average lives. Maybe it is a blue sky on a summer season day, a blossom that grew over night in your garden, the noise of your kids's voices. My father, who just relocates with pain in his later years, would certainly claim that joy is having the ability to relocate like he made use of to as a younger man. Did he value this when he was more youthful? No, naturally not. We just take note of these things when they have actually been eliminated from us. Pay attention to the now, practice living mindfully as well as find the joy that is ideal before you everyday.

Mindfulness is finest referred to as moment-by-moment recognition. There are 4 measurements of mindful minutes. They are (1) present centered, (2) non-judgmental, (3) non-verbal, as well as (4) non-conceptual.

Mindful minutes constantly concentrate on the present, never the past or the future. Many ideas are one action eliminated from the present moment due to the fact that they focus on the past or future. Conscious moments constantly exist in today room and also time, a context frequently described as the "present moment." Mindfulness focuses on being fully involved in the here and now. Conscious minutes are not thinking minutes where you try to figure something out or judge it. Mindful minutes are non-conceptual since during them you simply keep in mind the occurrence of something and also approve it for what it is. You do not evaluate what you are experiencing, you accept it. The talking that takes place during mindful minutes is self-talk. It is non-verbal as well as additionally referred to as sub-vocal speech. Basically self-talk is what you say to on your own when assuming or really feeling something. When individuals describe or list self-talk messages it includes an additional layer of analysis as well as distance from them. Mindfulness is developed with casual as well as formal training activities.

Informal mindfulness training focuses on the application of conscious behavior into daily experience. Informal mindfulness training entails discovering exactly how to dedicate your full focus to every activity you are participated in. There are 2 measurements of informal mindfulness training; (1) coming to be extra mindful of your internal environment (thoughts, feelings, mental pictures), and (2) becoming more knowledgeable about your exterior setting (behavior as well as prompt physical environments).

Ending up being a lot more aware of your inner setting is the first step in accepting it and co-existing with it as you function in the direction of accomplishing jobs and fulfilling your goals. Being a lot more conscious of the things going on in your internal atmosphere is various from evaluating or assessing them. When you are truly conscious of your ideas you observe them without judgment. It is as if you have actually stepped beyond your own mind as well as are considering your thoughts as an outside viewer of them. When you do this you'll probably notice that a great deal of your thoughts and feelings are not extremely useful in satisfying your objectives and living a life based upon your values. Among the tricks to anxiety administration is living our lives according to our values and also criteria as well as the objectives we set based upon these points. An essential to doing this is comprehending when our thoughts are not practical because they are really judgments and also examinations as opposed to monitorings about the present moment.

Coming to be a lot more familiar with your outside environment focuses on enhancing your understanding of your actions and also what's taking place in your instant physical surroundings as you participate in this behavior.

Conscious eating is often used as a kind of external mindfulness training. It focuses on your eating behavior as well as the context in which it takes place, your immediate physical setting. Conscious consuming is often educated to individuals with eating problems to aid them end up being extra mindful of their eating habits. When you practice conscious consuming you rest silently at a table gradually pick up tiny items of food with your utensils, progressively raise the food off your plate and also bring it to your mouth, and take sluggish bites chewing extensively. For those participated in the method, they experience consuming like never ever previously. They are shown to focus on https://en.search.wordpress.com/?src=organic&q=mindfulness the presentation of the food prior to consuming it-the shade, shape, placement, aromas, etc. They begin to admire points like just how the fingers, hands, as well as arms operate in consort with their mind to select the food up and also bring it into the mouth, the process of chewing, the experience of sampling something anew.

Formal mindfulness training is a structured program of everyday practice of mindfulness meditation sessions. These sessions remain in addition to continuing casual mindfulness training through mindful consuming, strolling and so on. Typically you would certainly start by practicing meditation for a few minutes three to 4 times a week. After a couple of weeks of this you would boost the duration of your sessions by 5 minutes as well as repeat this till you could practice meditation for 20-30 mins at once.

Få skabt indre ro & klarhed i tankerne med et onlinekursus i mindfulness - Mindfulness giver dig redskaber & værktøjer til at håndtere stress & andre problemer.

På dette mindfulnesskursus med mindfulnessinstruktør Andreas Sune Hansen lærer du bl.a de syv grundindstillinger i mindfulness, meditation, mindfulde øvelser, mindfulnesspraksis og mindful yoga.

[mindfulnessretreat]

mindfulness guide

Recently I have actually read regarding mindfulness, the act of quiting and taking notice of the present moment. Throughout the act of stopping, we stop believing, forgetfulness as well as the strong feelings that rule us. When we are practicing conscious breathing, eating, strolling, packing the dishwasher, driving our auto, grocery store purchasing etc. we are touching deeply today moment and valuing the well being that is already existing in our day to day lives.

Usually when I do any one of these tasks I'm typically considering something that happened in the previous or planning the future, certainly not regarding what I am really doing or even where I am a lot of the time. The number of times have I driven nearly all the means to work and also questioned exactly how I got there! What took place to the last couple of miles of road?

There I was, on a fine summer season early morning, sitting on the steps of my front veranda, mindfully eating my breakfast. I did ask yourself if consuming mindfully would make me really feel extra complete after a dish however instead of residence on that idea which would certainly have led me on the equine of no return, I merely went back to my cereal as well as the blueberries. "I am folding washing, be mindful of it", I responded and also brought myself back to the job at hand.

Throughout the day I exercised mindful strolling, driving and also listening. Each task, even if it was just mindful breathing, ended up being the most vital work in my life at that moment.

Living mindfully suggests that it is ideal in front of us every day in our average lives. Perhaps it is a blue sky on a summer day, a flower that bloomed over night in your yard, the audio of your youngsters's voices. Pay attention to the currently, practice living mindfully as well as find the pleasure that is right in front of you everyday.

Mindfulness is best described as moment-by-moment understanding. There are four dimensions of conscious minutes. They are (1) present focused, (2) non-judgmental, (3) non-verbal, as well as (4) non-conceptual.

Mindful moments always focus on the present, never ever the past or the future. Most thoughts are one action gotten rid of from today minute due to the fact that they focus on the past or future. Conscious moments always exist in the present space and also time, a context frequently referred to as the "present moment." Mindfulness revolves around being completely involved in the present moment. Mindful moments are not thinking minutes where you try to figure something out or judge it. Conscious minutes are non-conceptual due to the fact that during them you merely keep in mind the occurrence of something as well as approve it for what it is. You do not judge what you are experiencing, you approve it. The talking that takes place throughout conscious minutes is self-talk. It is non-verbal as well as additionally called sub-vocal speech. Basically self-talk is what you claim to yourself when believing or feeling something. When individuals explain or write down self-talk messages it includes an additional layer of analysis and also distance from them. Mindfulness is established through casual and also official training activities.

Casual mindfulness training focuses on the application of mindful behavior into everyday experience. Casual mindfulness training involves finding out just how to commit your full focus to every task you are participated in. There are two measurements of casual mindfulness training; (1) becoming extra conscious of your inner atmosphere (ideas, http://edition.cnn.com/search/?text=mindfulness feelings, psychological images), and (2) ending up being much more aware of your outside environment (actions as well as prompt physical environments).

Being a lot more mindful of the things going on in your internal environment is different from judging or examining them. When you are absolutely mindful of your ideas you discover them without judgment. An essential to doing this is recognizing when our thoughts are not helpful because they are actually judgments and assessments instead of monitorings regarding the existing moment.

Ending up being more aware of your outside atmosphere revolves around raising your recognition of your habits and what's taking place in your immediate physical environments as you participate in this habits.

Conscious eating is often made use of as a form of outside mindfulness training. It focuses on your consuming actions and also the context in which it happens, your immediate physical atmosphere. Mindful consuming is usually instructed to individuals with consuming problems to help them end up being much more conscious of their consuming habits. When you practice mindful eating you sit silently at a table gradually get tiny pieces of food with your tools, slowly raise the food off your plate and bring it to your mouth, and also take sluggish bites chewing extensively. For those engaged in the technique, they experience eating like never ever in the past. They are taught to pay attention to the discussion of the food before consuming it-the color, shape, positioning, scents, etc. They start to marvel at points like just how the fingers, hands, as well as arms operate in accompaniment with their mind to select the food up and also bring it into the mouth, the process of eating, the experience of tasting something over again.

Formal mindfulness training is an organized program of daily method of mindfulness meditation sessions. These sessions are in addition to proceeding casual mindfulness training via conscious consuming, walking etc. Usually you would certainly begin by practicing meditation for a few minutes 3 to 4 times a week. After a couple of weeks of this you would certainly boost the period of your sessions by five mins and also repeat this until you could meditate for 20-30 mins each time.

På dette online mindfulness kursus med mindfulnessinstruktør Andreas Sune Hansen lærer du bl.a de syv grundindstillinger i mindfulness, meditation, mindfulde øvelser, mindfulnesspraksis og mindful yoga.

[bnhainsert]

Sound Out

Chapter 7:  Aria di Relazione Fiorente

As soon as Hado had recovered fully, she was discharged from the hospital and sent to Midoriya’s agency. Midoriya waited right outside the building to greet her. Midoriya then started to walk away from the agency.

“Am I not staying here?” Hado asked confused. “Well technically no. You’ll be staying next door” Midoriya explained.

He walked up to a small cottage looking building and unlocked the door for Hado. She walked in and was surprised by how quaint it was. The rooms weren’t too terribly big. However, it had things that Hado had personally never had in her living space: multiple rooms.  Hado’s apartment was basically a bedroom/front room and a bathroom. That’s all she really needed. Seeing a front room and a kitchen and a separate bedroom made her so excited.

“Please make yourself at home. This is my agency’s guest room for clientele that need to stay in the area. Most of the time we keep people who might be in danger here to give them some peace of mind” Midoriya continued. “There are security measures in place so that if someone were trying to break in, they would be immediately captured and the police will be contacted” Midoriya said with a smile. “If for some reason, the alarm system doesn’t work, my personal cellphone number is written down on a piece of paper next to your bed. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need something” Midoriya finished.

Hado bowed politely and thanked him. She almost felt tears well up in her eyes. She hadn’t been shown this much kindness in a very long time. Midoriya said his goodbyes and left to let Hado get situated. She excitedly checked out every room in the space. While it was pretty plain in terms of decoration, it had some nice furniture. The couch was big enough for her to sleep on if something happened to the bed. There was a TV on a stand right across from it. The kitchen had been stocked with food items that Hado could use to cook or snack on. There was a kettle for making tea, a fridge stocked with more food items and water, an oven, and a spice rack. Hado didn’t really get to cook meals that were too elaborate but she thought that with all of this, she should give it a try.

She continued examining the rooms and finally settled in the bedroom. She laid back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling for just a few moments. She thought back to the fight she nearly lost just a week ago. She remembered feeling weak and helpless. Her stomach sank. She also remembered the upset looks on the faces of her new pro hero friends. The face that looked the most upset though, and caused her to feel the most guilt, was Bakugo’s. He looked so……pained. Hado knew that most of that pained feeling was her fault. She couldn’t follow protocol. She didn’t call for help. She didn’t even hold off the villains like she thought she could. She never wanted to see Bakugo that upset ever again.

Hado sat back up and made a pact with herself. She was going to use the next few days to train her quirk, her mind, and her body. There wasn’t a ton of space, but she could do specific workouts that focus on certain muscles in the body. She wanted to also work on producing multiple sounds in multiple places. She would have to do even more ear training.

While Hado was in the middle of formulating this schedule, she heard a loud knock at the door. “Who the hell is knocking so loud” She complained to herself. She quickly walked her way to the door and looked out of the peephole. She recognized the blond spikey hair anywhere. She wiped herself off, though she wasn’t sure why, and opened the door. Bakugo stomped through the doorway before Hado could even invite him in.

“Well hello to you too” Hado said closing the door and following his movements. “I just came by to…. check in on you” Bakugo said grouchily. “You sound like checking on me is a big chore. If it’s that much of a problem, you could just text me” Hado said mostly in jest but was honestly upset by his tone. He seemed to realize this because he took a deep breath and turned around to look Hado directly in the eyes. There was a gleam of some kind of emotion Hado couldn’t quite grasp in his eyes. “It’s not a chore…” He quietly admitted and immediately broke eye contact with her. Hado felt relieved at Bakugo’s statement.

“Well if that’s the case, you can check on me whenever you’d like” Hado smirked, trying to get a rise out of him. “I don’t need your permission you idiot. We’ve been over this” he snarled out and plopped down on the couch. “Ah of course that’s right. But you do need my permission to sit on this nice couch that Midoriya so kindly supplied for me. Stand back up” She began to tease again.

“Oh shut up loser. I can sit wherever I want, whenever I want”

“Is that so? Would Midoriya agree with you about that?”

“Probably not. The nerd is way too polite to actually let loose and assert himself, even though he is one of the strongest people I’ve ever met” Bakugo casually throws out.

“Well then maybe it’s a ‘you’ problem then”

“Who said it was a problem? I’m not broken dumbass”

Hado laughed loudly at Bakugo’s response. “No of course you’re not broken. That’s me, right? I’m the broken one” She said gesturing the the sling her arm was in. “Don’t even joke about that Miss ‘Pro hero’” Bakugo somehow managed to warn and mock her in the same sentence. Hado grabbed a pillow off of the couch and threw it at Bakugo, only for him to catch it quickly without even glancing her way. “You’re going to have to do better than that” Bakugo replied still not looking her way. Hado then made the soundwaves in the pillow vibrate so furiously that it exploded into feathers in Bakugo’s hands. He looked over shocked and didn’t see another pillow had been launched at his head from the direction he wasn’t looking. The pillow slammed into his head and Bakugo’s movement stopped. Hado’s breath hitched in her throat as her smirk grew bigger and bigger.

“Not bad Sound Girl” Bakugo looked back up at her and smirked. Hado felt her face grow hot and looked away. “Why do I feel like this? Ugh this is gross” She thought to herself. “When you fully recover, you should train with me. I want to see you use your power to it’s full extent” Bakugo added. Hado nodded still looking away from him. “Oi look at me when I’m talking to you, dumbass” Bakugo demanded.

Before Hado could turn her head to look at him, another knock on the door happened. Hado quickly got up to answer it. Miodriya stepped in and Hado let out a sigh of relief. “What did you two do?!” Midoriya yelled. Hado looked over and realized that feathers had flown everywhere. “Oh…umm about that…” Hado was about to explain but was cut off by Bakugo. “I accidentally ripped one of the pillows open. These things are pretty flimsy. You should get them replaced” Bakugo lied. “Why would you tear up the pillows” Midoriya cried with a shocked look on his face. “Look nerd, what did you come here for” Bakugo interrupted Midoriya’s lamenting of the lost pillow. “I came here to fill you guys in on the next big step of our mission”.

The three sat a table in the area next to the kitchen after cleaning up the feathers. Midoriya explained the passageways below the city and how they needed an updated map of them before they did any kind of take-down mission. “I know that you’re just now healing up, but in 3 days would you be willing to go with one of the other pro heroes into the base? I think you and our pro hero we have lined up would work perfectly together” Midoriya said. “I mean one of the biggest pro heroes to ever grace this earth has asked me to do this. Can I really say no?” Hado jokes. “Well I just want to make sure that you feel comfortable enough to get back into the action”.

“I’ll be fine” Hado reassured him. “Now who’s this pro hero I’ll be working with?”

Midoriya left the cottage to go back to his agency and make sure things were still running smoothly. His agency had about 4 different sidekicks that would be sent out to protect more than just the one city, but other cities as well. He walked in to sit in his office. His office was covered with All Might posters and memorabilia.  Once a fanboy, always a fanboy. He sat in his seat at his desk. There were a few cases scattered here. There were also 2 framed pictures. One of him and All Might hugging out in front of Midoriya’s agency, and one of him and Bakugo after their first big mission that gave them their current popularity. On the wall behind his desk were more photos of him and his friends on their journeys to become pro heroes.

Midoriya sighed loudly looking at all the unorganized cases. He wondered if he could hire Catalog for a week from Bakugo’s agency. He highly doubted that Bakugo would let that happen considering Bakugo’s agency only worked if him, Catalog, and Renova were all working there. He then wondered if he would consider hiring Vocaller on as a sidekick. It would technically be a demotion from her current job, but it would pay better.

As if on cue, Bakugo walks into Midoriya’s office. “How’s Hado holding up?” Midoriya asks. “She’s fine” Bakugo replied. “Are you sure she’s going to be safe there?” Bakugo questioned. Midoriya looked his friend in the eyes and saw some faint hints of worry. “Don’t worry. I’ve made sure that the most recently available security technology was installed” Midoriya reassured him. It was kind of interesting for him to see Bakugo caring openly for another human being. Sure, he cared about other people and their shared friends, but never openly. Here he was showing Midoriya some vulnerability connected to another human being.

“Do you think that after this case is closed that you would invite Hado to work at your agency?” Midoriya asked knowing exactly what he was doing. “She deserves better than to just be some sidekick” Bakugo replied. “She deserves better than to be my sidekick” he mumbled. Midoriya realized Bakugo was still beating himself up over the villain attack 2 weeks ago. It was still hard for him to find an outlet for his emotions.

“Well I at least think you should work closely with her after this. I think you two work well together” Midoriya kept pushing. Bakugo shrugged. “She loves her city too much so there’s no way we’d be able to work together under any other circumstances” Bakugo slumped himself down in one of the chairs in the room. “I think you two would be able to work something out. Want to spar for a bit while we have time?”

Bakugo perked up. “Hell yeah let’s go nerd”

For the next 3 days, Bakugo stopped by in the evenings to help Hado train and work on her quirk. Even with one arm in a sling, she could keep pace with Bakugo. He had to admit that he was pretty impressed with her progress. What she really needed was different ways to think about the world around her. She was so set in one way of thinking from working the same small jobs over and over again that she had made a habit of using her quirk in only very specific ways. Bakugo forced her to think differently, coming at her from so many different angles with so many different techniques. He didn’t try to hold back.

Hado winced in the middle of one of their training sessions, grabbing at her arm that was in the sling. “Giving up already” Bakugo teased from across the training grounds. “No! Rude! I just…. It’s just a small bit of pain. I can keep going” Hado answered. Bakugo made his way over with a towel for her to dry off with. “Let’s take a 5 minute break. Then I’ll destroy you for sure” Bakugo gloated. “Oh sure whatever. Doesn’t take much to take down a helpless girl with one arm” Hado shot back. “I wouldn’t call her helpless” Bakugo replied.

The two sat down on a bench sat off to the side of the training grounds. Hado wiped her forehead sighing. “I really appreciate you helping me out with my quirk and stuff” Hado spoke up. Bakugo shrugged. “I went to UA too, you know. I got the same kind of education you got, minus all of the villain attacks” Hado said. Bakugo grunted in response. Those villain attacks did help his class specifically grow much stronger much faster than any other class. “I just…. I just wish I was as strong as you. I think…. I think after my parents died…. I kind of lost the will to fight” Hado admitted, her face softening.

“That’s not something you can blame yourself for” Bakugo replied gently. “I don’t know. I mean I wanted to work in a small town because of what happened to my parents, but I think I got too complacent” Hado continued. Bakugo was curious what happened but didn’t exactly want to press her on a subject that could be painful. Hado seemed to notice Bakugo’s dilemma because she started to explain exactly what happened:

“So, about 10 years ago when I was 15 years old and starting my 2nd year of high school, this villain that nobody had ever heard of before started rampaging in the city. My town didn’t really have huge incidents happen, so we got by with just a normal police force. This guy though…. He was really tearing the city up with no remorse for his own actions. He was too fast for the police to catch and the nearest hero was about a 2 hour flight away. He managed to make his way to my side of town pretty quickly and busted into my family’s apartment. My parents didn’t have strong quirks like me. My mom had the voice of an angel, but she couldn’t really use that in a fight. My dad could amplify or dampen sound waves sort of like me except I can also control the frequency and other things. Well we all woke up to the sound of this crash. I immediately tried to put what I had learned at UA into action. I tried my best to produce the strongest soundwave I could to send him back outside the apartment, but I was just too tired from training.  I remember him laughing saying something like ‘what a nice quirk, mind if I borrow it?’ or something. He reached for me and I kind of went blank. I woke up to the sound of police sirens and my mom and dad unresponsive on the floor. I tried to check on them but was kept away by the police. According to them a huge soundwave went off in my apartment, knocking both my mom and dad out. That man had somehow used my quirk and I can’t even remember how. My parents were both rushed to the hospital but the damage from intensity of the sound had ruptured some vital organs in their bodies. They were pronounced dead that same evening” Hado finished explaining. “If only…. if only there had been at least one pro hero…. If only I had been strong enough” Hado continued with her head down and her fists clenched. Tears started to roll down her face.

That’s when Bakugo’s body moved on its own. Before he could even register what he was doing, his arms were wrapped around Hado pulling her into his lap. “What the fuck” Bakugo’s brain was finally catching up with his body. He recalled Midoriya once saying something along the lines of “Most heroes have stories of their bodies moving before their brain could react”. Usually that only applied to saving people. He wondered if this was the same situation.

Bakugo felt hot tears fall onto his arms. He continued to hold Hado in hope that it would bring her some comfort. He knew how painful it was to feel like he wasn’t strong enough or fast enough. Some very small part of him still blames himself for All Might’s retirement. “I’m sorry Bakugo. I must sound like a godamn babbling baby. We should get back to training” Hado spoke In a cracked voice. “Yeah you do sound like a dumb baby but…. Maybe it’s okay to cry like that sometimes……” Bakugo responded. Hado wiped her face with her towel and got up off the bench. “Well I’m all cried out now so why don’t we get back to training” she said turning around and offering Bakugo her hand.

Bakugo slapped it away, stood up and said, “Alright cry baby let’s go”.

Hado looked around the small comms room Midoriya had in his agency. Midoriya, Bakugo, the detective working the case, were all there. There was also…. a floating pair of gloves? “Hado this is Hagakure Toru, or better known as Invisible Girl” Midoriya introduced. Hado reached her hand out and felt the glove take hold. “It’s like so nice to meet you finally! The others have told me so much about you!” Hagakure gushed. There was no facial expression to read so Hado would have to go off of tone alone, although Hagakure seemed like a pretty straightforward woman.

“You two will be mapping out the underground hideout, taking not of any unusual rooms or people. Invisible Girl will use her quirk to make you invisible as well Vocaller, and Vocaller will use her quirk to make both of you silent” The detective explained. “We are an infiltration dream team!” Hagakure said excitedly. Hado nodded in agreement. They continued to go over different scenarios if anything went wrong. They tried to talk about if the 2 women got caught but Bakugo just interrupted with “Not gonna happen”, having small explosions erupt from his hands. Each hero was given an earpiece and a small camera to hide on their person. They weren’t sure how far the connection would stretch so the 3 staying behind would be in a van near the secret entrance Hado had discovered a while ago.

They arrived at the scene and double checked the outline of the plan. Hagakure and Hado were also given a small tablet to help with mapping everything out if for some reason the comms did go out. Hado looked at what she believed to be Hakure’s face with determination. The two shared a high five and were on their way.

Hado used her quirk exactly the same way she had done before to unlock the mechanisms for the door. The long dark tunnel leading downward was revealed. “Spooky” Hagakure said out loud. “Eh I’ve seen worse” Hado shrugged.

The two began their decent with Hado deafening every step they took. After a bit of climbing they finally reached a floor on which they could walk.  Hagukure made sure the light was refracted in just the right way to keep Hado hidden. The two walked silently down a hallway looking for suspicious rooms or even suspicious people. They couldn’t separate from each other to make things go faster because both of their quirks were covering for the other person. The process was going to take a while.

Each hallway they entered looked almost identical to the last. They made sure each twist and turn were mapped out on the tablet so that they could make sure they weren’t walking in circles. It seemed like they had been walking for hours when they heard the detective speak into their earpieces. Hado made sure that the sound waves never went any further than the front of their faces.

“Hey, are you two okay? The cameras seem to have cut out” he asked. “Yes everything is okay on our end don’t worry” Hado responded, again keeping the soundwaves from moving any further than their faces.

Soon enough, Hado hears some faint voices down one of the approaching hallways. She whispers into her earpiece. “Hey, I’m going to keep the comms on so you guys can also listen in. Please stay as quiet as possible. I’ll try to keep your sound out of their range”.

“Yeah that stupid sound hero got beat up pretty badly I heard. It’s a shame those other pro heroes got in the way. I think boss would’ve been happier if she was dead. If he sends me out next time, I know I’ll finish the job” The voice spoke from around the corner.

Hado gasped, losing concentration for a moment and immediately stopped the soundwaves again. “Shit”. “Did you hear that?” The man who was speaking earlier asked. He walked around the corner but didn’t see or hear anything. He shrugged and walked back around to his spot. Hado and Hagakure let a small sigh of relief that Hado made sure she had controlled.

A voice belonging to the person the man was speaking to started to talk. “But Rowdy really did put Ground Zero through the ringer then. He seemed to handle that 2nd quirk pretty well after only having it for 2 days. This quirk transference stuff is working out so much better than those dumb nomus the league of villains made forever ago”

Midoriya felt a chill go down his spine at the mention of a notorious villain group himself and Bakugo had bested years ago. He shareed a knowing glance with Bakugo who’s face was contorted in the angriest glare he could make. The comms started to break up in the middle of the two men’s conversation. “We’re lucky….. had……get blood…..All…One”. The hair on Midoriya’s arms stood straight up. Is it possible….. that All for One is involved here? How?

The girls also feel a chill run down their spines at the mention of All For One. “Do you feel like…. like someone’s watching us?” The first man interrupted. “Come on out you cowards!” He yelled around the corner. Before he could fully make his way around, Hado quickly manipulated the soundwaves as far down the hallway as she could and managed to amplify them enough so that the two men could hear. “Hey! Boss needs you two right now! Stop slacking and get back to work!” she mimicked the sound of the villain that had grown the spider legs.

The man that yelled out before turned on his heels to look at his partner and replied, “Yes sir!” and were running down the hallway away from the two pro heroes. Hado and Hagakure book it for the secret entrance they had come in through. They get all the way back up and out into the light. “Oh thank god! That was so scary! I’m so glad you are such a quick thinker!” Hagakure praised Hado. “Hey my quirk would’ve meant nothing if you hadn’t been there to keep us from being seen” Hado shot back. The two girls high fived again.

“You guys may want to see this” The detective calls from the van. They all end up back at Midoriya’s agency, looking at all the data they collected. The tunnels that had been mapped seemed to never end but they were on a constant path moving in a westward direction. Hado looked closer at the underground map compared with what was above it on land. “If these tunnels keep going like we think they do” The detective started. “They’ll go right underneath my city” Hado said quietly, clenching her fists. “You have to send me back to my town. I have to go back!” Her voice started to build in volume. Items in the room started to shake with the vibrations she was putting out. Midoriya tried to calm her down saying that they needed more information.

Bakugo grabbed her by the shoulders. “Look. Tsukuyomi and Ingenium are out there right now. I make them give me a report every damn day. Nothing has happened in your city. I promise” He said looking her directly in the eyes. Hado takes a deep breath. “That still means there could be an entrance in my town. You need to send me back” She pushed again.

“No” Bakugo abruptly replied.

Hado looked likes she was going to both cry and punch Bakugo in the face. “You’re not going by yourself. I’m going with you” He finished his thought. Hado’s face went from shocked to confused to thankful. “Thank you Bakugo”. The tears had managed to escape her eyes as she pulled Bakugo in for a tight hug. Bakugo was also shocked and had his hands in the air. He slowly put his hands down and wrapped them around Hado in return.

“Aww this is like so cute!” Hagakure squealed. The two of them broke their hug to look around for the Invisible girl. “Shut up you invisible piece of shit, I’ll kill you” Bakugo threated but couldn’t seem to find her. Hagakure giggled and left the room. “It was so nice to work with you Hado!” She called on her way out.

Midoriya is still trying to process the idea of All for One being involved but he has to push that thought away to focus on the task at hand. Bakugo wanted to go with Vocaller back to her town. Who knows how All for One is involved and where he would be if he was still alive? One thing is for sure: He was not letting his best friend go out there without him.

Chapter 6   Chapter 8

[mycandylavynder]

Christmas Date

Nathaniel - Rayan - Priya - Hyun

Castiel

"Hey. If you aren't busy this morning could you come over for a bit? I could use your help with something." You see this text message from Castiel when you wake up around 11 in the morning.

"Yeah, I can. I'm free until 2:30. What did you need help with?" You text back, curiousity at full peak as your brain slowly wakes up. Why would Cas want your help?

"Cool. I'll text you the address. Just come over whenever you're ready."

You stare at your phone for a few seconds, but the only message that comes through is the one with the address. You wonder if he ignored the ladder part of your text on purpose but decide to get ready anyway.

After you are dressed and have packed your bag, you look at the address again. It sounds familiar but you still have to GPS it. As you begin to recognize the location on the screen, nostalgia hits as you think about the place you first got to "know" Castiel. Your face reddens as you recall that night, but you quickly put the memory away to set out on your walk.

As you are walking, you pass a liquor store and decide it might be best not to show up empty handed. You buy a pack of pricey craft beer and set back on your journey. The memory of your steamy nights at his parents' come back to mind when the building comes to view. But like a seasoned pro, you bottle them back up. No sense in reading the past when you are ready to write out your future.

You press the intercom and Castiel let's you in. You walk a flight of steps until you come to the apartment door. You give a gentle knock and hear him approach from the other side before the door opens.

"Hi. That was quick." He says as he helps you take off your jacket.

"Yeah, this wasn't as far of a walk as I remembered." You hand him the package of beer before taking off your boots and setting your bag beside it.

He examines the label on the box while you do this. "Dragons milk? How'd you know I like this?"

"I do my homework." You say giving him a playful wink.

"I don't doubt that." The redhead says as you catch his smoldering gaze roaming over your figure. You're wearing a low cut white v-neck shirt, blue highwaist jeans with slits at the knees, and a long black fuzzy cardigan. You're lovely mane is fishtailed into a single braid and a black velvety choker wraps around your neck. You bite back a smile, confident you know what he's thinking. And as cute and casual as you are, you feel a bit over dressed. Castiel is wearing a black band T with gray joggers. His red locks pulled into a messy ponytail.

"So Castiel, what exactly did you need my help for?" You finally ask.

"Follow me to the kitchen." He says as he leads the way.

You lift an eyebrow but don't say a word as you take in the old familiar sights of his parents apartment. When you enter the kitchen, you stop dead in your tracks when you see what all is spread out on the floating island. "Uh, Castiel...what are all these groceries for?"

"So," he begins as he runs his fingers through his red fringe. He leans a hand on the counter before continuing, "It's Christmas. My parents flight got delayed. And I forgot to get them a present. So, naturally, like the wonderful son I am, I thought I'd have Christmas dinner ready for when they get here."

The corner of your red painted lips lift. "So, I'm guessing you need me to cook it?"

"Yeah, something like that." He says eying you. You can tell he is preparing his self for your endless teasing.

"Alright." You say cooly as you casually slide off your cardigan and hang it on the barstool. You see an apron hanging in the corner and slide it over your head. You start to tie the string around your waist but feel a hand gently swat your hands away.

"Let me do it." He says as he takes the strings into his hands. He is so close behind you that you can feel his cool breath tickling your neck and your knees quiever ever so slightly. He ties a solid knot that falls at the small of your back. You feel his fingers brush against your neck as he gently tugs your hair from under the apron collar.

You pull yourself together in time to face him, uttering a small "thanks" before you busy yourself with looking over the spread of ingredients. You make a mental checklist of what needs to be made: chicken, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, macaroni and cheese, carrots, green beans, and dinner rolls. Okay. You can finish this in time to make your train.

You set one of the ovens to 350 degrees Fahrenheit before instructing Castiel to peel potatoes. You rinse your hands thoroughly and wash the celery and carrots. You chop them up and set them aside while you prep the chicken in a roasting pan. You add the vegetables and a few peeled potatoes to the pan and sprinkle over a generous helping of herbs and spices. Setting the pan aside while you wait for the oven to finish heating, you start gathering things for the Mac and cheese.

“We could use some music, don’t you think?” He says as he finishes peeling the last potato. You look up to watch him walk over to plug his phone into a speaker.

You break into a smile when you hear Brandon Flowers belt out "Oh Santa." Castiel catches your smile and winks. You did not think he would remember your favorite Christmas song after all these years. And as embarrassing as it is, you can't resist the urge to sing along.

Castiel unsuccessfully bites back a laugh as he listens to you miss all the notes. And you absolutely could care less because you are delivering the lines as fiercely as Beyonce. Cas rejoins you behind the counter, completely enthralled by your impromptu concert. You're wiggling as the song plays out its last cords and drifts into another alternative Christmas jam.

He stares at you. Amusement, horror, and pure mischief stir in his silver eyes as he watches you put the chicken in the oven and set the timer. After a moment, he finally speaks. "I might have to find you a spot in the band with that...wide vocal range."

You laugh. "Yeah, I don't know about that. I might just steal the show."

He smirks as you set water on the stove to boil. "When this starts to boil, add the macaroni to it." You demand as you fill another pot with water to boil the potatoes. You had to admit, getting to boss Castiel around without retaliation is a once in a lifetime opportunity and you intend to take full advantage of it.

"So how did you learn to cook like this?" He asks as he pours the Mac into the boiling water.

"Years of helping my mom, I guess. My mom's a bit of a wiz in the kitchen so she taught me quite a bit."

He grows quiet as he digests the picture of you helping your mom. "Does your mom normally cook the Holiday dinners for you?" You ask, breaking his train of thought.

"Of course. I honestly think my dad and I would burn the building down if my mom let us help."

You smile. "I'll be sure to keep an eye on you then."

A little time slips by without any thought and he finally speaks up again. His voice slightly distant as he speaks. "So... I was a little surprised you were able to come. I was sure you would have other plans."

You laugh, sounding a little bitter at the way he says that. "Yeah, what? You mean other plans like a date."

He looks at you coldly.

"No worries, Cas. I am single as a Pringle. And besides you're one to talk. I'm sure you could have easily called up your fan club and they would have had a 12 course meal on gold plated dishes at your doorstep in an hour." You hiss sounding much more venomous than you mean to. No matter how hard you try, this boy can touch you in a way others can't.

A quiet spell falls over you both as music blares in the background. The potatoes are boiling, the macaroni and cheese is ready to brown in the second oven, and Castiel joins you in clipping the ends off of the green beans.

"I'm sorry...if that came out wrong." He says carefully.

"Me too." You say, allowing the moment to pass.

"How have you been since the infirmary? No catty girls are spreading rumors are they?" His voice is softer as he speaks.

"I've been a lot better, actually. Moving forward, I decided to stop letting so much things pile up on myself. And as for the girls... I think you scared them off for good. I'm sure when we return from winter break, everyone will have completely forgotten about it."

"Good. I don't want to rough up the entire campus if I don't have to."

You smile a little, allowing a comfortable silence to form as you finish up the vegetables. The two of you debate music for a while as you finish making the mashed potatoes and start the stuffing. Castiel shares a couple of wild band stories as you put him in charge over the gravy.

Soon you both find all the food is either cooked or in the oven. And it's time to clean up the dishes. You already set aside most of the dishes to soak. He picks up a few of the stray forks and spoons and brings them to the sink. "You dry, and I'll wash?" You suggest and he takes his spot at the side of the sink.

"I sure hope your parents like everything we made."

"Me too. But if they don't, I'll just tell them I had help from this funny little girl."

You playfully jab him with your elbow. "So, you plan on taking all the credit if it turns out nicely then?"

"Obviously. I did do most of the work after all." He says, side-eying you.

You gasp in mock offense and flick a little water at him. He glares at you and you take a step back. "Oh you're definitely going to pay for that little girl." He says as he scoops you up into his arms and throws you over his shoulder. You laugh and pound his back softly with you fists as your feet kick the air.

"Put me down, Castiel!" You demand through fits of laughter as he walks you toward the living room.

"Oh no, not until you pay, Candy. That was the second shirt of mine that you've ruined." He says dramatically.

He tosses you on the coach and climbs on top of you. His long legs carefully straddle your thighs as he runs his fingers down your sides to tickle you.

You burst into uncontrollable laughter, tears forming in your eyes as you try to fight it. He tickles his fingers over your stomach and arms and doesn't let up until you whine, "Stop, Cas, I swear I'm about to pee myself."

He pins your wrists above your head, a wicked look twinkling in his sexy eyes like that of a cat that wants to play with it's spoils. Your stomach is doing Olympic worthy flips, and you can hear how hard your heart is working to keep you alive. His eyes fall to your lips as he slowly lowers himself over you. You feel his arrogant smiling lips begin to gently brush against yours.

Then the timer goes off, startling you both out of your little bubble. You both stay frozen before you finally whisper, "Uh, the chicken is done." Your face is terribly hot and your head is spinning in a merry-go-round. He slowly lets you free, a quiet unreadable ecpression washing over his face. You get up and go to the kitchen, slidding on oven mitts to pull out the chicken. That is the last of the food to make.

You check the time and panic. "Oh shit! I missed the bus to the train station!"

"Don't worry, I can drop you off." He says as he strolls past the kitchen. "Just let me get changed." He says heading toward his bedroom.

A few minutes later, he emerges, dressed in his usual threads. "Ready?" He asks already heading for the door.

The car ride to the station is short and quiet. The radio plays its usual rounds and you wonder what Castiel thinks whenever he hears Crowstorm play on the radio. But you don't ask since your destination is coming into view.

He comes to a stop in front of the station. You both linger for a second before you grab your stuff. "Thanks for the ride. I guess I'll...see you around?" You say just before you place your hand on the handle.

He grabs your arm and pulls you toward him. His lips zealously crash against yours and you both can't stop the desire to deepen the kiss. A wild fire is breaking thoughout your body and you don't want to put it out. He tastes wonderful and wreckless as he gently tugs on your hair.

But unfortunately all good things must come to an end. You hesitantly pull away from each other, feeling your heart sigh at the departure. "See you around, little girl."

You flash him a smile before skipping out the car to catch your train. It was a strange surprise to your Christmas morning, but you would not have it any other way.

Much later that evening, you get a text from Castiel. "I think you missed your calling."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you'd make a better chef than an art historian." You smile, feeling a wave of relief wash over you.

"So everyone likes the food then?"

"Yes. My mom won't shut up about how I've been holding back on her and that I'll have to do this again next year.

"So...are you free next December 25?"

You cover your giggling so your parents don't hear you in the kitchen. "I don't know... I'll have to check my schedule."

"Merry Christmas, Candy."

"Merry Christmas."

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #225

“i tried to write your name in the rain, but the rain never came.”

How many times a day do you check your cell to see if you have a text? Considering my dumb phone doesn't let me know I have texts half the time, I do multiple times throughout the day. Ever wonder if the person you hate will become the person you marry? HA HA YOOOOOOOOOOOO SARA AND I DID AND NOW I DEADASS WANNA MARRY HER TOMORROW How many times a day do you wash your hands? It varies. After I use the bathroom or if I'm about to touch food. You walk in on your parents smoking pot, what do you do? lol h u h How old were you when you had your first crush? Hell if I know. I do remember as a young kid though, I was very much "ew boys no thnx." Maybe like... 5th grade? When was the last time you asked God for something? A long, long time ago. Your opinion on smoking: Just don't, dude. It's money going towards gradual suicide. No one likes the smell. You sure won't like how it affects your body. It's an addiction/it's stressful to stop. I'm not gonna like, judge you if you smoke, but nevertheless, I'll tell anyone it's an awful idea. Make love or fuck? It depends on the mood. I was more into the former mood back when that even applied to me, though. Have you ever cried so much over something that later felt like nothing? Oh, I can assure you I have. The last time you were afraid of the dark was: I'm not really scared of the dark, but one time I got up semi-recently in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and after one incident, I was so, so careful and nervous to step on Bentley's tail. He lost his fucking mind on me when I did it once, of course on accident. The TV was off by this point, so I couldn't see well at all. I love having a dog that fucking scares me. How often do you say I love you to your parents and mean it? A whole lot. Your boyfriend/girlfriend say they can’t hang out & it’s been two weeks. You? I mean sure, it sucks, but if they're legitimately busy, they're busy. Have you ever wanted a wild animal for a pet? If yes what animal? I had a phase where I really wanted a fox, and now I am DEAD serious about fostering opossums at some point. When you go to sleep, do you have to have white noise or silence? SILENCE. Though I don't really get /total/ silence 'cuz I have to have my fan on. My room's always hot. Have you ever gotten in a fight with a teacher? No. Ever had a creepy dream about a teacher? No. Where were you when you had your first sleepover? Your house or a friends’? I believe I was at my then-best friend's house. I had suuuuch bad separation anxiety from my mom that I know I was older than most kids who did. What are you limits for doing stuff for money? I'd never do sexual favors or seriously hurt someone for it. Is there someone you are mean to all the time for no reason? No. I'll admit I'm typically rather short with Bentley, but Jesus, do I have reason. When you think of love what’s the first that comes to mind? Sara. How do you calm your mind and find peace when you are stressed? My best bet is going to sleep; that's pretty much, usually, my reset button. Have you ever given someone flowers? I gave Jason flowers once or twice. I gave my mom some for Mother's Day as a kid. How often do you get on Facebook? A couple times a day... mainly just to see memes lmaoooo. What day of the week is usually your busiest day? Good Lord, Tuesdays. I'm at school for 13 hours. Mostly sitting in the library waiting for classes, but. I do study a whole lot, though, and it's when I get a bunch of schoolwork done. Is there a place that you will never return back to? Idk. When was the last time that you created a PowerPoint? I'm actually working on/off one for FYS 'cuz we have to do this "Lifeline" thing where we introduce ourselves and give our stories. Guess who's not fucking ready. Do you like group work? NO. NO. Particularly if it's with people I don't know. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Is music or the TV on while you complete this survey? I'm listening to Chase Holfelder's cover of "Kiss The Girl" rn. Does your grass need cut currently? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? Occasionally. What color are the doors in your house? White. Have your friends ever not wanted you to be with someone? Probably. What is your favorite use for whipped cream? I hate that stuff. What is your favorite flower? Orchids. And your favorite nut? Ew no thanks. Can you curse in a foreign language? Of course I know "fuck" and "shit" in German lmao. Are you fond of spaghetti? Hell yeah man. Have you ever played in the mud? I sure did zoom through it on my bike as a kid. Do you remember what your first real relationship felt like? That relationship ultimately led to PTSD, how could I possibly forget. Who can make you happy no matter what? Sara, Mark, and Game Grumps are particularly good at that. How tall are you? 5'4.5'' Are there any animals near you? No, I'm at school rn. Do have a lot of lists? No. Are you a godparent? No. Do you sleep too much or not enough? Eh, it depends on the day and my mood. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? Yep. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? Never been on one before. Do you think having a bad temper is a sign of immaturity? I mean, no? It's an interesting question and I guess a "maybe," but. I feel this depends on the trigger. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? I was a fucking yoga master babe in 9th grade, fuckin fite me. When growing up, did your parents keep the house very tidy? I guess? It wasn't dirty. How many watches do you own? Zero. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? Political views, I guess? Or the fact I'm bi? I only know of one person in my extended family that's gay. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? No shit? Emergencies are a thing? BUT, respect the teacher, please. I cannot stand people using their phone in class, especially here in college. You're paying a shitload to learn. Spend that time as you're supposed to. Take education seriously. If your phone's on vibrate for said emergency situations, that's cool. Do you have any gay relatives? Lol oh. Yeah, Mom has a cousin. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Yeah. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? I deleted my sister's mother-in-law in fury over her homophobia because I've seriously had it, then just a few days ago actually I went through my Facebook list deleting people I just didn't really feel connected to/didn't really care to follow their journey anymore. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? Zero. Do you know what your vocal range is? It's not broad. I'd say I'm probably in a rank slightly lower than most women. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I've never really been in the position to be capable of that. I've never had a source of income. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Probably heavy. Or symphonic, though I haven't found too many artists in that sub-genre that I really enjoy. But BOY, when I do? I will BINGE that shit to the ends of the earth. Have you ever turned down someone who didn’t handle the rejection well? Ha ha oh man, I remember in 4th grade, this kid Nick was desperate to date me. It was endearing and cute, but he asked kinda obsessively. Then jfc, when I broke up with Tyler, you would've thought I was Jason and he was me, holy shit. How large is your largest scar, and what is it from? Well, I can't see it, so I actually don't know. I guess kinda long, but not wide. It's from a cyst removal surgery. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? Omg, my Writing teacher. She really liked my writing on my essay. I was so flattered. When was the last time you went for a walk? Like, just a casual walk for the sake of walking? Not since I was at Sara's last. That was when my muscle atrophy was starting to get extremely bad though and I was very close to death omg. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? I don't think so. When cooking a meal, do you clean up as you go or wait til you’re done? I don't know how to cook. Do you develop crushes easily? NO. I am soooooo romantically picky. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? A month or more with Colleen after we were evicted. That was a really good time, honestly, regardless of how we feel about each other now. I don't think anyone's done something so selfless for me, and we really did have fun. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? I'd say it was normal for someone that age. Do you like salsa that has fruit in it? NO. Do you think stained glass windows are pretty? Hell yeah. That was my favorite thing about the church I grew up with; Catholic churches tend to truly have incredible stained glass. Are you scared of snakes? Nope, snakes are Baby. Have you had your wisdom teeth removed? No; I only have two, and I just slightly have enough room for them. Do you like hard or soft pretzels better? I strongly prefer soft. Have you ever been carded when buying something? Yes. Do you eat meat? Regretfully. Can you sleep with the light on? NOOOOOOOOOO. I have to truly be exhausted. Have you ever broken a bone? No, but I did fracture my wrist as a kid. Have you ever made ice cream in chemistry class? Bitch I wish, tf. Do you use the microwave often? Considering a bitch can't cook, yes. Microwavable meals are the reason I am alive. Have you ever painted a room? No. What’s in your copy and paste? This survey. Do you know anyone that’s painfully, socially awkward? Fuckin ME JFC. How do you usually pose in your pictures? With the left side of my face facing the camera (bc my hair kinda swoops over the right side), and I'll usually smile with my teeth or do a :D face bc at least I look happy instead of high with my squinty-ass eyes. :') Do you know anyone that absolutely freaks out if you try to take a picture of them? um????????? me?????????????? Do you pick on them for it and attempt to take loads of pictures anyway? If someone doesn't want me to take a picture of them, I absolutely don't push them 'cuz I totally get it. How’s your posture? Bad. Have you ever had to take care of a fake baby in family ed? Thank God in Heaven no. I. Would. Have. Raged. ^ were you a good mother/father? N/A What’s your favorite way to wear your hair up? My hair is too short for that. But I generally find french braid buns SO pretty. Have you ever read a ‘banned’ book? Uh, I don't think so. What does your screen name mean? Favorite animal, meerkats, + favorite artist, Ozzy Osbourne. Have you ever had to take a sobriety test? N- no wait. They were mandatory when I've gone to the ER for suicidal thoughts. Do you like movies more if they’re based on actual events? It doesn't really matter to me. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done with your cell phone? Idk, dropped it? What’s your opinion on gold diggers? Selfish, or smart? Both? Uh, I don't think it's exactly debatable to call it selfish... I mean, you're dating for the sake of monetary gain...? What would you do if your bf/gf was hitting on someone else right in front of you? I couldn't even try to picture her doing that, but obviously I'd be uncomfortable and jealous. What’s something you’ve done that you’ve sworn you’d never do? Idk, multiple things. Which ex of yours do you talk to the most? I only talk to Girt. Can you recall the first person you ever drank/got drunk/high with? I drank with family, probably, but I've never reached the point of being drunk, and I've never been high. ^ are you still friends? I mean, I love my family. Have you ever taken someone else’s vehicle without permission? No. What were you doing the last time you were videotaped? *shrugs* Is that something you’d be comfortable uploading and sharing? I don't know what it would be. Which friend wears the same size clothes as you do? Probably none? I don't have many friends to compare to. Is there anyone’s wardrobe that you’d like to steal? UM Suzy Hanson is a B A B E? ?? ? ? ??? I adooooorrrrre her clothing line (Psychic Circle), too, and so wanna buy something. Have you ever been lost in the woods? DARLIN I've watched The Blair Witch Project 2 much for that shit. What did you last stretch the truth about? Idk. Have you ever had withdrawals from something? Caffeine, and then WoW for quite a few months after I stopped playing for like, a year or more. Is there anyone on your friend’s list you know next to nothing about? I know at least one of Mom's friends that I've only met once, and briefly. How old is 'too old’ for you to date? I wouldn't date over 30 (I absolutely stg that has nothing to do with H I S age being 30 lmaoooo). How do you feel about guys in tight jeans? Skinny jeans look good on like, anyone. Favorite hour-long show? Uhhh idk. Well, at least out of the shows I used to like and would be most interested in watching, The Good Doctor. Favorite half-hour show? Meerkat Manor. Most people who’ve slept over at your house all at once? My current house? Just one, I think. Steak or chicken? Chicken. I'm piiiiickyyyy w/ steak. Is flirting really cheating? Yes, if you're clearly not just teasing. What’s something you own that’s /only/ of sentimental value? My pebble from my partial hospitalization program. What’s your choice of chips? Girrrrrllll gimme Cool Ranch Doritos. What song would you use to torture someone? i t ' s  f r i d a y  f r i d a y What is the weirdest compliment you have ever received? Probably that my nose was cute? If someone REALLY fat was upset, and saying how FAT they were, what would you say? First off, NOT say "you're not fat omg ur beautiful." I'M overweight and don't like when people say that. I'm perfectly aware that you're lying "for my own sake," which is sweet, but it's not helpful. Motivate me/the person to improve without being an asshole. Let them know I believe in them, which I do for ANYONE. If I could lose 60-70 pounds in a year, anyone can. What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a kid say? So when I was very little and my mom gave me orange juice, I freaked out because it had pulp in it. And what did I say? "I CAN'T DRINK THAT IT HAS NIPPLES IN IT" look idk don't ask but boy does Mom love sharing that story. A random stranger walks up to you and says 'you’re hot’. You say: Most likely "go away." Possibly "thank you, but please go away." Actually yeah, that's more likely. Like it's flattering to know someone finds you attractive, but yeah, that's just uncomfortable for some stranger to do that. I also wouldn't want to really piss the person off. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? Definitely not. Almost the only person ever would be Girt. Have you ever gone to a strip club? No. Not my kinda scene. Like I absolutely will not think less of someone who does this, but I just don't like but moreso feel bad for men or women who reduce themselves to their sexual capabilities. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? Hell nah man. Pizza is supreme. What color is your watch? I'm not wearing one. I never do. Do you believe in love at first sight? Absolutely not. Visual attraction, of course that's real, but I promise you dear, you don't love someone upon looking at them. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? I hate that stuff. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? Ashley's father-in-law's mom. ... At least I think that's what she is? Do you want to change your name? Nah, it's fine. Have you ever tried to erase someone from your memory? Of course I have.

[dzzystrs]

ironhide/wasp one-shot

this is the first chapter of a multi-chapter ironhide fic im still weary about posting (and honestly? need to fix, theres some stuff i really dont like about it) BUT i still really love the first chapter and i think that if the rest of this fic never sees the light of day, this at least should!

so here is some tooth-rotting fluff from two very underrated boys!!

“I swear if that bumbler of a bot makes us do even one more transform-up, I’m going to rip out his vocal synthesizer and shove it up his tailpipe.”

Ironhide chuckled and offered Wasp a warm smile. He watched from his berth as the smaller mech tried to stretch out all the stress his joints had received from doing so many transform-ups. Ironhide shared his quarters with Wasp-- stretching out and bitterly talking about how pissed he was at Bumblebee had become a nightly routine for the two at this point. Ironhide was annoyed with their fellow cadet as well, but not to the extent Wasp was. He was happy to be a sympathetic audial for the other, though.

“I was thinking of something a lot less violent, but that works too,” he casually replied.

Wasp got up and onto his pedes to look at Ironhide. He stretched his arms over his helm and asked, “What were you thinking of?”

“Taking off those stubby lil’ stabilizing servos of his and putting them up somewhere short-stack can’t reach ‘em?” he answered with a grin.

Wasp burst out laughing, which in turn, made Ironhide snort out a laugh too. The smaller mech stumbled over and into Ironhide’s berth, landing right next to him, all the while still snickering. “Oh, that’s perfect. It’s settled; we’re doing that.”

“Well, we ain’t doing anything if we don’t try recharging soon,” Ironhide pointed out. He laid back and yawned. “I dunno about you but I’m exhausted.”

Wasp shrugged. “Yeah. I am, too.”

A small moment of silence passed.

“We gotta kill the lights if we’re gonna recharge,” Ironhide pointed out.

“I turned them off last time,” Wasp snapped. “You do it.”

The bigger mech huffed. “Fine.”

Ironhide purposefully rolled right over Wasp and out of the berth. Wasp spat a curse at him. Ironhide just chuckled and went to go turn off the lights. As he turned back around to head for his berth, he was surprised to see Wasp still in it. He had his back to him now and looked like he had made himself right at home. Ironhide’s optics nervously darted to Wasp’s own berth that laid on the other side of the room, as if looking at it would remind Wasp that he had his own place to recharge. Not that… Ironhide minded having Wasp curl up in his berth with him. It was just a little… unexpected.

Ironhide carefully crawled back into his own berth, trying his best to not disturb the other. He was worried he might break this weird spell Wasp must have been in and he would bolt to his own berth, never to speak of this again. Fortunately, Ironhide was able to comfortably lay down without bothering him. Ironhide laid on his back and awkwardly stared at the ceiling. He couldn’t recharge now with Wasp just… there. It was making his processor go nuts.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Ironhide snapped out of his thoughts and literally flinched when Wasp spoke up. He turned his helm to look at Wasp who still had his back towards him.

“Nah,” Ironhide simply said. “I don’t mind the company.”

There was a small pause between Ironhide speaking and Wasp finally turning over to face him. Ironhide moved to give him more room, which was what he initially thought Wasp wanted. He became confused when the other pressed himself into his side. Ironhide awkwardly held his arm above Wasp for a moment as he tried to figure out what the Pit he was doing… and then he realized that Wasp was trying to cuddle with him… oh.

Ironhide gave in. He settled his arm on top of Wasp and pulled him closer. Surprisingly enough, Wasp didn’t fight him or say anything mean; he happily settled right into their new position. Wasp placed a servo on Ironhide’s chest and started to lazily trace his digit along the other’s insignia. Ironhide couldn’t help but smile.

“I don’t get why you put up with me,” Wasp suddenly murmured.

Ironhide’s optic ridges furrowed in worry. “What do you mean?”

“No one else I’ve ever met has tolerated me as much as you do,” he continued. “I know I can get really… mean sometimes, and I don’t get why a nice bot like you sticks around with it. Longarm’s fine, and the others… they aren’t the greatest but they sure as slag are a lot easier to put up with than me, so I don’t understand why you don’t abandon me for them.”

Ironhide hesitated, trying to think of the right words to choose. “I… I think you’re a good bot.”

Wasp scoffed.

“No-- I really mean that,” Ironhide persisted. “Yeah, you got your issues but doesn’t everyone? I ain’t exactly the smartest or most cultured bot around but yet you’re still here with me-- and cuddling up in my berth with me, as a matter of fact.”

“Don’t push it, numb nodes.”

Ironhide snickered.

“I dunno why other bots don’t like you, Wasp. Yeah, you can be kind of a pain in the aft sometimes but it’s a pretty small price to pay for getting to be with you when you’re nice-- which, by the way, happens a lot more often than I think you’d like to admit.”

Wasp was quiet. He then buried his face into Ironhide’s side.

“I’m really glad we met,” he muttered. “And I’m really glad that we got roomed together, and that you let me train with you, and that you don’t mind the fact that I’m pretty much glued to your side all the time. It means a lot to me. I know I don’t always say stuff like that but I hope you know that I feel and think it all the time.”

“Those feelings are more than mutual, bud,” Ironhide murmured, embracing Wasp just a little bit tighter than before.

If Ironhide hadn’t been so exhausted, he would’ve laid there the whole night cycle, just taking in the moment. He wanted to just memorize how it felt to have Wasp in his arms and how fluttery his spark felt. He had never thought that slipping into stasis would ever make him feel disappointed until now.

[sebeth]

Fantastic Four #7 - 9

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

 A Brief Summary:  The Master of Planet X, The Puppet Master, and FF: The Movie!

Debuts:

·         Kurrgo, Master of Planet X

·         The Puppet Master

·         Alicia Masters

Favorite Cover: #7’s “Wanted Dead or Alive” poster

Important Points:

·         Kurgo, a short, bald alien with a wrinkled, over-sized head spies on the Fantastic Four: “In every way we of Planet X are the Earthlings’ superiors! We are a far older race, a far wiser one! Our science is a thousand years more advanced than theirs! So, what a pity it is that they will survive, while we will perish when that runaway asteroid collides with our luckless planet!”

·         If Kurgo, the Master of Planet X, is aware of the incoming asteroid, shouldn’t he have had better things to do for the “last three weeks” than spy on the Fantastic Four? Maybe use their society’s advanced science to destroy the asteroid or set up an evacuation of the planet?

·         My evacuation idea is shot down: “Oh, Kurrgo, my Lord! If only we had enough space ships to enable us to flee our planet before the holocaust!”

·         “Fool! You know we have only two space ships on Planet X! But one of those ships is even now blazing towards Earth…towards the only four creatures in all the universe who might find a way to save us!”

·         How exactly does Kurgo think the Four will save him? We have a non-force field projecting Sue and a Johnny who doesn’t have the control and stamina of his adult self. Is Ben expected to smash the asteroid to bits? I know Reed will end up being the solution but Kurgo admits to spying on the team for the past month – mentally recap the last six issues – would you trust Reed with the fate of your planet?

·         We switch to the Baxter Building. Reed wants the team to attend a dinner in their honor in Washington.  He’s met with a severe lack of enthusiasm.

·         Johnny: “Aw, who needs it, Reed? I’m not even hungry! Heck, we’re no speech-makers! Imagine what would happen if I have try to say something clever! I’d probably get all tense and nervous, and the next thing we know, it would be just my luck to burst into flame!”

·         A shy Johnny? Much different from his later appearances where he loves the spotlight!

·         Reed brushes aside Johnny’s concerns: “That’s foolish and you know it, Torch!”

·         I don’t know, Reed, you should take it seriously if a man who burst into flames expresses concerns over his control of his abilities.

·         Ben: “Bah! It’s just a waste of time! I ain’t going! Can ya imagine how I’d look in front of all those Congressmen at a big state dinner? They’d think I was nutty if I kept all bundled up, but I’d scare ‘em to death if I took my hat and coat off! And then, what if those wise-guy photographers try to take pictures of me? You know my temper! In a couple of seconds, I’d start tearin’ the joint apart! And I’m just the guy to do it, too! No, siree! I don’t want any part of that fancy pants dinner!” Ah, early Marvel, when Ben was the angriest hero in the universe – pre-revived Namor, the Hulk, and Wolverine, of course.

·         Sue: “Such short notice! I haven’t got a thing to wear! Oh, Reed, I’m afraid to go. I’m not used to meeting all those important people! I’m liable to get so flustered that before I know it, I might vanish in front of their eyes! If that ever happened, I’d simply die of embarrassment!”

·         Did Sue attend college? Or did she not have the option as she was raising Johnny at the time?

·         Reed brushes aside his teammates’ concerns: “All right, I’ve heard all your silly little excuses, and now I’m sure you feel better, now that you’ve said them! So, let’s start getting ready now, and let’s this all this nonsense! You know we can’t refuse a request from Congress!”

·         Uh, it’s a dinner, Reed, not a congressional investigation, you are allowed to say “no, thank you!”

·         Reed is such an ass in this scene. He brushed off Johnny’s legitimate concerns about his control of his powers, Ben’s PTSD and desire not to be gawked at, and Sue’s social insecurity.  Is he that desperate to have his ego stroked by politicians?

·         The Johnny-Ben prank war begins.  Ben adjusts the water temperature while Johnny showers.  Ben oddly chooses to increase the temperature.  I would’ve thought Ben would have decreased the temperature – Johnny’s a “Human Torch” – heat’s not an effective weapon against him.

·         Ben again vocalizes his displeasure about the dinner: “I just wanted to start a little ruckus so I wouldn’t have to go to that blamed dinner!”

·         Reed: “Thing, stop feeling sorry for yourself! How do you think I feel! I’m in the middle of a new rocket fuel experiment which is almost reaching fruition, and I’ve got to interrupt it also!” World’s smallest violin, Reed, world’s smallest violin.

·         Reed: “C’mon, Thing, cheer up! You might even enjoy the dinner!”

·         Ben: “Sure – sure! I just love to have people gaping at me and laughing behind my back!” Who doesn’t? Someone needs to sign Reed up for sensitivity training.

·         Reed: “I suppose these nerve-wracking ceremonies are the price we must pay for fame!” No, Ben’s transformation and disfigurement is the price that was paid for fame!

·         Kurgo’s robot arrives in Washington and activates a “hostility ray”. The congressman turns on the Four in mid-speech: “It’s time the public awoke to the fact that the Four of you are the worst menaces ever to threaten this land!”

·         “Down with the Fantastic Four! Drive them out of this country!” “Call the police! The militia! Get the Fantastic Four!”

·         Johnny clears the way. The militia realize “We can’t tackle him without asbestos suits!” Do not get the asbestos suits!

·         The Four escape and return to the Baxter Building.  The robot arrives: “Heed my words, puny Earthlings! I have travelled many light years to find you – and to bring you a message from Kurgo, master of Planet X!”

·         The robot announces that the whole planet has turned against the Four but, hey, my home planet will offer you asylum.  Reed’s response boils down to “Makes sense, let’s do it.”

·         Sue, Ben, and Johnny need to revolt and elect a new leader for the group – Reed’s plans suck.

·         The Four travel to Planet X. Kurgo combines the “Welcome” and the “We’re all going to die” speeches.

·         Ben: “I knew we shouldn’t come! But nobody’d listen to me!” Let’s make it official – Ben should be the leader of the Four.

·         Johnny and Ben battle the robot – Johnny goes super-nova for the first time.

·         Reed’s solution is to shrink the entire population, have them board the ship, travel to another planet. They will return to their original size upon leaving the ship. Should Henry Pym sue for gimmick infringement?

·         Sue questions Reed over the effectiveness of the “enlarging gas” capsule that will return Kurrgo’s people to their original size upon reaching their new destination. Reed’s response: “There was no reducing gas, Sue! It was just an empty projectile! I only told them about it so they could consent to my plan! But once they reach their new world, it won’t matter! They’ll all be the same size, and in this vast universe of ours, one’s size is only relative, anyway!”

·         This is the second time within seven issues where Reed has shown no respect or consideration for an alien species’ right to their own physical appearance and refused to consider the long-term consequences of his actions. Kurrgo’s people are going to land who knows where – it may not be safe or feasible to be the size of a bug in their new home.

·         Ben attempts to enter Reed’s lab but is stopped by Sue and Johnny. “Please, Ben, trust me! Don’t enter Reed’s lab!”

·         “Bah!  How come you only call me ‘Ben” when you want something?  All the rest of the time I’m just the Thing to all of you!” Ben’s not wrong on that – In previous issues the rest of the Four only refer to him as “Thing”.

·         Ben moves Sue out of the way “because I got a feelin’ things are gonna get rough around here! Okay now!  I’m gonna teach you and that walkin’ rubber-band not to try to keep secrets from me!”

·         Johnny pleads with Ben: “Thing, wait! You don’t understand!”

·         “I understand plenty! I’m thru bein’ a patsy for you two grand-standers! You’re real buddy-buddy with me when you need my muscle – but whenever something important comes along, I ain’t good enough to be told about it!” Ben makes another good point. Ben was an astronaut, an occupation that requires an advanced education – they shouldn’t talk down to him.

·         Reed refuses to explain why Ben isn’t allowed in the building causing Ben to storm out.

·         An invisible Sue pleads with Ben to re-enter the building, the group needs him.  Ben refuses: “Sure!  That’s why you treat me like Dracula’s brother!  Sorry, lady!  I ain’t buying!”

·         Several men approach Ben to harass him for talking to himself: “How about introducin’ us to the lady you were talkin’ to?” “Yeah! What was she? A gremlin, or one of the good fairies? Haw Haw!”

·         Sue promptly kicks one of the men in the behind: “I’ll bet you’ve never been kicked by a gremlin before, wise guy!” I love feisty Sue!

·         The Four’s argument is interrupted by a man attempting suicide by jumping off a bridge.

·         We see a bald man inside a home with a replica of the bridge and the climbing man: “Go my helpless puppet! Jump as your real-life prototype will also jump at the same instant.  You, a nameless nobody, will be my first test of power!”

·         The bald man pushes the figure off the bridge only to suffer burns to his finger.

·         Johnny has arrived at the bridge and prevented the man from falling his death.

·         The bald man exclaims: “Only one living creature could have done this! It means the Human Torch will be the Puppet Master’s next victim!”

·         A young woman enters the room: “Father!  I heard you cry out!  What is wrong?”

·         “Nothing, Alicia!  It is of no concern of yours!  I have work to do!  Return to your room!  And I have told you never to call me ‘father’!  I am only your step-father!  Do you understand?”

·         What an ass! The Puppet Master is rather psychotic in his first appearance – willing to casually murder a nameless stranger and needlessly cruel to Alicia.

·         The Puppet Master’s “power” is terrifying – even more so than the Purple Man.  Killgrave has to be within a certain radius of his victim to gain control of the individual’s mind.  The Puppet Master simply sculpts a figure and – bam – instant control!

·         The Puppet Master reveals the source of his power – radioactive clay!

·         The Puppet Master carves a figure of Ben and places it in a replica of the house causing Ben to head towards him.  An invisible Sue follows him.  A blind Alicia realizes Sue is in the house when she hears her breathing – and her heartbeat?  Really? Is Alicia secretly Daredevil?

·         The Puppet Master captures Sue.  It’s the eighth issue and Sue has been a hostage in four of them.

·         The Puppet Master notes that Sue “looks remarkably like you Alicia”.  I don’t see it.  If anything, Alicia bears a resemblance to the not-yet-created Crystal.

·         The Puppet Master dresses Alicia up in a Fantastic Four uniform and wig.  He orders her to accompany Ben to “play a harmless little prank for me!”

·         Alicia touches Ben’s face and notes “This man – his face feels strong and powerful! And yet, I can sense a gentleness to him – there is something tragic – something sensitive!” Nice summary of Ben’s character. But not one comment on the not normal texture of Ben’s face.

·         The Puppet Master orders the duo to return to the Baxter Building. Alicia states “This is all so strange!  I do not understand!  But I must do as I am told!” Alicia was clearly not one of the liberated women of the 1960s.

·         Ben attacks Johnny and Reed upon entering the Baxter Building. Reed tricks Ben into destroying a container that holds an experimental liquid.  The liquid transforms Ben back into his human form. Reed reveals that the liquid is the reason he didn’t want Ben in the lab: “I didn’t want you to know about it, in case it failed!  You’ve had so many disappointments I didn’t want you to suffer another one until I was sure!”

·         Reed’s heart was in the right place but it’s incredibly arrogant and condescending to not inform a patient about their course of treatment.  He’s essentially treating Ben like a lab rat.  Ben would have to brace for disappointment either way as potential success wouldn’t be known until Ben tried the formula.

·         A blind, and very confused, Alicia pleads: “Where am I?  Who are you?”

·         Reed, mega-genius, notes: “That girl!  She isn’t Sue!” Seriously, Reed, it took you this long to notice?  I can think of one more butt-kicking Sue needs to deliver!

·         Ben assures Alicia: “Don’t worry, kid!  You’re safe and sound!  We’re all your friends!”

·         “You’re voice! You are the strong, kindly one! But – you seem different now!”

·         Ben transforms back into the Thing.

·         Alicia continues: “No, wait! I was mistaken! It is you – it is the same wonderful man!”

·         Ben laments to himself: “She likes he better as the Thing!” I wouldn’t say Alicia prefers Ben as the Thing – I’d say it was more that Alicia – a blind woman in an unfamiliar situation – found comfort in a familiar presence.

·         The Puppet Master causes a riot/breakout at a state prison. The men head to the prison to contain the situation.

·         Johnny rescues the warden while Ben insists “I’m gonna grab me a little bit of the action, pal! Like wow!”  When did Ben become a valley girl?

·         “Sufferin’ snakes!” The inmates are terrified of Ben’s rampage especially when he plays “fastball special” with said inmates.

·         The Puppet Master reuinites with Alicia. He informs Alicia of his upcoming plans as the “Ruler of all the world!” Alicia and the Puppet Master struggle for control of the “Ruler of the world” figure.  Alicia trips which causes the Puppet Master to fall out a window and plummet to his presumed death.

·         Nice introduction of the Puppet Master – a surprisingly scary villain who thankfully isn’t as depraved as the Purple Man.  If the Puppet Master hadn’t allowed his ego to take over, he could have become a true “puppet master” – pulling the strings of a huge criminal empire.

·         #9 is the first “clunker” of an issue. The Four go bankrupt and have their fortunes restored by Namor: Movie Producer!

·         Namor, chilling undersea, watches a television newscaster announce: “The world-famous Fantastic Four are bankrupt!  They have announced plans to dissolve their partnership and sell all their possessions in order to pay their debts!”

·         I now understand why Sue eventually takes control of the groups’ finances – Reed didn’t even last a year before he went bankrupt!

·         Writers often use the “FF go bankrupt” storyline – it’s rather silly since Reed can invent something that will cure their money woes in five seconds.  Who wouldn’t want a Reed-designed smart phone? However, at this point in the group’s history, potential investors would be worried – it was less than a year ago that Reed’s mistake caused his friends’ extreme transformations.  

·         The Four are dealing with bill collectors back in New York City. Johnny, Ben, and Sue offer their abilities as a way to raise money.

·         Reed refuses: “I appreciate your support, but it’s not that simple!  I’m not going to let you rent yourselves out to a freak show – and the only other way to cash in on our supernatural powers is thru crime – which would be unthinkable!” Or the alleged mega-genius could invent something and turn a profit?

·         Ben stumbles across the dissection of the Pogo plane: “Leggo of my plane, you crumbs!  I oughtta pulverize ya for that!” Yeah, you don’t touch a pilot’s plane!

·         Reed assures Ben that they’re “getting a good price” for the plane. Ben counters “No price is good enough for all the work we put into designin’ that ship!” Poor Ben is very upset over the loss of the plane!

·         Ben rips on Reed: “Some rotten manager you were, rubber-man! You made a fortune by selling patents on all your inventions – enough dough to keep us going for years – but you hadda be a big shot and invest it all in stocks! You lunkhead!” Reed’s genius clearly doesn’t extend to financial management.

·         Ben decides – once again – to quit the group. A cab refuses to stop for Ben so he impales the vehicle on a street pole.  I’m not sure how this didn’t result in Ben being sent to jail.

·         Reed receives an offer from S.M. Studios: One million dollars cash if the team star in a movie.

·         Ben reunites with the team and they head to Hollywood. The team is broke so they have to hitch-hike across the country. In full costume.  

·         The group arrives at S.M. Studios only to discover the producer is the Sub-Mariner!

·         How did Namor keep his purchase of a movie studio a secret? It wasn’t that long ago Namor was terrorizing New York City and threatening the surface world with dire vengeance. The authorities should have been swarming the place as soon as Namor assumed ownership.

·         Sue’s still has a serious case of Namor-lust: “He’s so masterful – so confident!”

·         The men film the movie while Namor romances Sue.

·         Namor fills his movie with legitimate threats to attack the men – Cyclops, poison spears immune to flames, etc. Namor battles the Thing. Ben loses when he transforms back into human form mid-fight.

·         Namor returns to Sue, announces he’s triumphed over the men, and proposes marriage. Sue’s not impressed and attempts to flee. However, Namor has “the powers of all the creatures who live beneath the sea!” and uses the “power of the electric eel” and the “radar sense of the cave fish from the lowest depths of the sea” to capture Sue.

·         Namor announces “Your struggles are useless! I like a woman with spirit! Only such a female can be a fitting mate for the monarch of the sea!” Namor, I love you, but you’re delving into very creepy territory.

·         The boys arrive and are ready to trounce Namor. Sue prevents a brawl by stating both parties must “honor the contract”.  Namor pays the FF the million dollars and returns to the sea.

·         Not a great issue and not a good portrayal of Namor. Only highlights were Ben’s despair over the loss of the Pogo plane, Ben’s excitement over being a “white knight” and a fun Ben-Namor brawl.

[lukebygrace]

Merc; Pre-Show

The grim, plastic table stood in the centre of the room, metal legs dug into carpet, metal folding chairs surrounded each edge. Atop of the table sat a blank, black ash tray, a bottle of whiskey toppled, a few plastic cups. A swiss army knife with the blade casted out. The table laid stained with drinks, food and spit, not to mention the dank scent of stale alcohol. The group sat around the table. Smith at the end, a small clipboard in hand with a pen between his fingers, a stubborn frown across his face. “They want it fuckin televised.” James spoke from the middle left of the table, leaning on the back of his chair,foot extended out  to a support rung underneath the table, a crumpled plastic cup of liquor in his hand, a grim frown across his shaggy face, eyelids sagging with exhaustion. He rose his cup of liquor and swished around the yellow drink. “I can’t--” A sniff came from in front of him, locks of yellow hair falling from Sam’s head and onto the table, brushing along her wrist bands  as her hands struggled to hold up her face, head locked down to the table. “Fucking believe this…” Her voice shrieked, vocal chords failing under the emotional stress, her voice wobbled with a resounding despair.

Laina sat next to her, one leg folder over the other, with a hand on Sam’s back. She looked dumbfounded, mouth showing her teeth, biting against the flesh of her tongue, deep brown eyes cast along to the floor, lost in thought, before her head gave a shake. Her hand jostled up as Sam gave a loud sob, her body shivering as it drug it's self off of the table, only to slump down in a shuddering mess again. A messy, distraught snort came from underneath the mop of yellow hair. “It’s fuckin stupid!” James grunted out a loud, followed by an anxious grunt, his head hung low, staring down unto himself, arm drooping off to the side, splashing the liquor onto the old carpet. Laina’s fingers played with the air. “I...uhh…” she muttered underneath her breath, before she lulled her head up, even just the slightest bit to meet eyes with James. “We sorta have to.” Laina mumbled, just barely enough for her voice to echo along the solemn, scuffed walls. “We’re--We’re fuckinngg…” Sam’s body seized and jittered along as she tried to speak, the uneven, harsh breaths she desired hanging in her throat as she slowly drug her hands up her face. “D-dd…” She stammered out as her head sat up, facing forward, the mop of yellow hair hiding her face before her hands just barely shimmied it away from her face, her jaw still pressing hard into her palms. Eye’s red and watery, the smoky look of tear stained make up dragging down her eyes, her mouth and lips tensed back in that gut wrenching, anguished frown, her brows strongly tilted up, her eyes pailing, drenching themselves. That utter look of hopelessness lost over her face. “Dead-dd-ddtt..” she cried, her chest shaking and jittering, her cheeks a pale red, compared to the washed out, pale flush of her face. “WE’RE not fucking DEAD!” James lurched forward from his chair, slamming his arms against the plastic table with a loud bash. Sam slowly sat herself up against her chair, eyes looking up to the roof as she took in a deep, sharp inhale, hanging harshly in her throat, the anguished, guttural cry of misery following shortly after, before her hands crept back up to hide her face. James’ hand slung up to hold against his head, his fingers tensed as they rolled through his hair. “We’re just!...” He looked to the table, for just a short second, before looking back up to Sam. His mouth held just the slightest bit open, his eyes darting around the floor, “Nnuh…” a grunt came from his throat. A short, sobbing laughter slipped from Sam’s lips. “They want, the fuckin thing televised alright?” James looked up to her. “If they want a fair fuckin fight then we’ll fucking give it.” James growled out, before sitting up in his chair. “5 of them, 5 of us.” Smith shrugged out from around the corner, his eyes flickering between both James and Sam. He missed the times when he was like that. “Yeah,  uh…” Laina mumbled, turning her head to look at Sam, soon becoming aware of the lanky hand that was slouched on her back. Her hand started to drift and rub against Sam’s back through her shirt. “Like, James.” Laina looked to James, James’ blue eyes snapped onto hers, that fiery, razor sharp spark in his eyes seemed only lit further by the small amounts of tears that started to build. “You kill 2 dudes a mission anyway, right?” Laina’s brows quirked up. “Don’t fuckin kill TRAINED militia, Laina.”  He fired back, training his eyes onto Laina, as if trying to stare down her soul. Though she wasn’t much phased. “So? Just means you get to hit em more. They’ll probably have armor.” Laina throws around casually, her eyes peering off to the side to look at Sam. Meanwhile, Smith leans down into his notepad, and his pen starts to write. “ - 5 Targets. Armoured.” James lets out a scoff and rolls his eyes, staring back down to the table. “We kill some fuckin dude, get ambushed by 4 fucking militia recruits, we barely fuck our way out of that, and now they want to actually have a fair fight. On fucking camera. On their own fucking turf. And you…” He turns back up to Laina. “And you think we’re gonna be able to just, magically.” His hands swing off of the table as he shakes his head, his eyes flaring wide. “RIp through one of their normal fucking squads.” He leans forward, a little scoff coming from his throat before a small chuckle, a derranged smile over his face. “Because you’re not the one who’s always in fucking front, you sit at the fucking back.” He leans back onto his chair, swinging on just two of the chairs legs. He laughs again, “Hah, yeah! You sit all the way at the fucking back, of course you’re not fucking scared! You could fucking book it if I get my head fucking blown off!” He snaps, his hand tenses into a fist as he raises it up to her. “HEY! You even shot the fuckin dude that got us in this fucking mess!” His hand turns to a stern point as it slams into the air, two fingers pointing right between Laina’s eyes. Laina’s bushy brow goes to frown. “We were all trying to kill that fuckin knob alright?” Laina’s eyes turn to a squint. “You saw his fucking life alert bullshit and you fucking shot him!” James pulls his hand up to show his wrist, slapping his hand over his bare wrist. Right as he begins to yell, Laina starts to intervene “You fucking saw” “He was in the fuckin” “That bullshit fucking” “Shower. We were” “Tablet bullshit!” “all trying to fucking kill him!” The two yell and snap over each other. “Just fucking SHUT UP!” Sam screams, from between them. Her hands pressing and shifting against her face, as if trying to press out every bit of despair she feels. James hangs silent, a frown still over his face, a catch in his throat, ready to start barking again. Laina holds her frown, she kicks her legs up onto the support rung of the table and crosses her arms. “Enjoy tonight! While we still fucking have it!” she snaps out, before dragging her hands down her face, hanging her head low as she starts to stand up, turning around and starting her walk down the stairs. Laina’s eyes move in front of her--Not to the table, not to the wall, simply ahead, staring at the blank particles of air. James rushes to stand off of his chair, shoving his chair back behind him. He looks between Smith, and to Laina. Laina pays him no mind, while Smith only stares back. James’ hand schmoozes up to his nose, angrily scratching and messing with his tingling, craving nostrils. His eyes look to the table, darting around, pupils slowly starting to shrink as he looks around. He takes a slow gulp, and he shakes his head again, dismissing the whole situation, dismissing the crew before he walks to the stairs, hopping on each step down, rushing down to the end, storming past the hall, past the living room and right to the kitchen, grabbing the kitchen drawer and slamming it open, the metallic cutlery clanging inside. His hand quickly finds the wooden, carved handle of his favourite kitchen knife, before he turns and rears his head up, looking to the lounge room. “The fuck…?” Sam shudders, out of breath as she stands by the couch in the lounge room, strangely shocked. “Jess..--”He looks straight into her eyes, into the light blue pool of her beauty, he can feel his hand tense against the curve of the wooden handle. Sam frowns, her eyes dip to the side, before looking back, leaning her head close. “Jess?” she questions. His eyes flare open, and he can feel that singe of clarity wash through the back of his head, like a douse of water on a dirty window. He drops the knife back into the cupboard, and slowly draws his hands out, before he shuts the drawer. His arms quickly move around himself, grasping along the sides of his ribs, hugging himself as he turns to face the kitchen drawer again. “Oh. GOD.” Sam scoffs, mouth wide in shock, before her hand moves to hold her other arm, to shield herself from….That. “I’m.. gonna go, take a bath.” Sam, pauses, before rushing out her sentence, before rushing past the hall, and into the bathroom. The door shuts with a click, and the snap of a lock. James’ eyes don’t dare look away from the kitchen wall, from the kitchen drawer. He can still feel that handle in his hands, the pound of her flesh against his hand.

[girls-scenarios]

Have a Little Courage

Idol: Mina (Twice)

Prompt: Woooow, I've been waiting for this moment for like centuries, I'm so happy. Can I ask you a Twice's Mina scenario set in the world of Harry Potter? Mina is in love with the Slytherin reader (female) but is afraid to declare her love because she is a Gryffindor. Something fluff, thank you very much

Writer: Admin Kiwi

A/N: It’s really been so long since I watched the original movies or read the books, and Fantastic Beasts didn’t really have anything about Hogwarts in it, so if the classroom seems a bit off, I’m sorry. Ignore the weird thing Tumblr is doing with the apostrophes, hopefully it goes away soon. Also, I’ve been writing a lot of Mina lately. I think we had more requests for her than usual. And this is pretty long. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this story!

Warnings: A curse word or two

Mina glanced over at the Slytherin table, eyes straying over the occupants for the third time since she’d sat down to eat breakfast. Her fellow Gryffindor friends were talking about something, apparently something exciting because Dahyun was waving her hands animatedly beside her, but she wasn’t paying attention. Her attention was instead focused on a certain person at the Slytherin table.

She watched as you laughed at something the person beside you said, and something twinged deep in her heart. She didn’t exactly feel hungry any more, especially when you leaned into the person and rested your head on their shoulder. She swallowed thickly and looked down at her plate.

“Mina, are you even listening?” Dahyun’s voice broke through her thoughts and she looked up, eyebrows raised.

“What?”

“I knew it.” Dahyun huffed and crossed her arms. “You never listen. What are you spacing out about that’s so important?”

“She’s always staring over at the Slytherin table,” Momo pointed out, wiggling her eyebrows. “Did you not hear about her crush?” The sick feeling in Mina’s stomach got worse, and she wrinkled her nose.

“Shut up, Momo.” She’d always known it had been a mistake to let Momo know about her crush. Her best friend had pried it out of her, but Mina knew it was only a matter of time before Momo spilled to Sana, and then everyone in the school would know.

“I didn’t know you had a crush, Mina. That’s exciting!” Then Dahyun seemed to connect the dots. “Wait. You have a crush on a Slytherin?”

“Keep your voice down!” Mina shushed her, giving her a little glare and glancing around at the rest of the table. Thankfully, no one else seemed to be paying them any attention. Dahyun leaned in closer, an incredulous look on her face.

“You’re kidding me, right? On a Slytherin?”

“She’s not kidding,” Momo said, then grunted when Mina elbowed her in the stomach.

“Shut up, guys. I’m going to leave if you guys keep picking on me.”

“But a Slytherin?” Dahyun repeated. Mina rolled her eyes.

“Not all Slytherins are bad, Dahyun. Nayeon, for example. Or your friend Tzuyu.”

“You guys only think Nayeon is nice because she has a giant crush on Momo. Trust me, Tzuyu can be evil when she wants to be. Jihyo can confirm.” Momo’s face bloomed red at Dahyun’s words, and Mina just sighed.

“You’re too prejudiced. There are Slytherins who don’t fit the stereotype, just like I don’t fit the Gryffindor stereotype.” Momo seemed to have recovered from Dahyun’s jab at her relationship, because she snickered.

“Yeah, you can’t even get any courage to ask someone out.” Mina elbowed her again, hard, and grabbed her plate as she stood up.

“Forget this. I’m done being picked on. I hope potions is especially hard for you today, Dahyun, because I’m not helping you any with your homework.” Dahyun’s head swivelled and her eyes widened. 

“Wait, Mina, you know I didn’t mean it!” Mina ignored her call, quickly walking away from the table. She was annoyed, mostly with her friends but somewhat with herself too. As she left the hall, she shoved her hands into the pockets of her robes, sighing at herself.

Momo had been right. She didn’t have any of the courage that Gryffindors seemed to have. All her housemates had no problems confessing to the people they liked. Momo had always been vocal about liking Nayeon, and Dahyun had walked right up to Sana the first time Mina introduced them and hit on her. It was only Mina who was afraid.

Really, she didn’t need to worry too much about the whole Slytherin rivalry thing. Sure, there was still something there, and Momo and Nayeon had faced some opposition at first, but usually people would move on to bigger and better gossip after a few days and forget to care about people dating between houses.

Even though she didn’t need to be, she was nervous. Nervous of rejection, mostly. From both you and her housemates. Momo would stand by her side, she knew, and so would Dahyun, but she feared not everyone would be so understanding. Maybe they had only accepted Momo’s relationship because she was popular, with good standing and a infectious smile that left Mina a few steps in her shadow.

Her shoulders felt heaver as she thought more, and she bit her lip, fighting back tears. She really didn’t belong in Gryffindor at all. She should have been sorted into Hufflepuff, like Sana. But even then, her crush would still be looked down on. There was no way around it, because she certainly didn’t belong in Slytherin either.

So with heavy shoulders, and an even heavier heart, she headed to her charms class.

Apparently, her gloominess was obvious, because as soon as she sat down in her seat, Nayeon turned around in the chair in front of her and put her elbows on Mina’s desk.

“What’s up, sunshine? You look dead.” Mina looked up to see Nayeon squinting at her, and then glanced over to the other side of the class, where you sat with your partner.

“Nothing. I’m just not feeling well.” Nayeon didn’t seem to be buying it.

“You know, I’ve seen you when you were throwing up, and you just looked sick. Right now, you look like you just lost your best friend, or found out someone killed your owl.” Mina made a face.

“You have a weird train of thought.”

“Whatever. My point is, you’re obviously sad. So come on, tell Nayeon what’s up.” Mina chewed on her lip, debating whether or not to tell Nayeon what was going on inside her head. Sure, she trusted Nayeon. A bit, at least. Nayeon had always been great to Momo, and she’d never done anything to upset Mina either. But at the same time, Nayeon was in the same house as you, and anything could easily go wrong.

“I don’t know if I should-.”

“Is this about your crush?” Mina’s brain went blank for a minute. And then she slammed her head into the desk. “Oh my god, Mina?” Nayeon’s voice rang in her ears, and she felt Nayeon’s hands touching her face. “What the heck, Mina, you’re going to hurt yourself. Oh my god, people are looking over here like I did something to you, stop that before I get attacked by your housemates.” Groaning, Mina sat back up.

“Did Momo tell you about it?” Nayeon was looking at her with a weird look on her face, and was definitely judging her.

“A little bit, yeah. Was that enough for you maybe to give yourself a concussion?” Mina did feel a little dizzy.

“What did she tell you?”

“Just that you had a crush, damn.”

“Nothing else?”

“Nothing else. She’s not that bad of a friend, give her some credit.” Mina’s shoulders slumped in relief.

“Oh thank goodness.”

“Now are you going to tell me what this is all about?” Mina sighed and rubbed her forehead, then was struck by how much sighing she had been doing today.

“Promise not to tell anyone?” She was probably crazy, doing this. But she’d done worse before. Nayeon leaned forward, nodding her head.

“I promise.” She looked way too interested for Mina to feel comfortable, but she continued anyway. There was no going back now.

“Well. I may have a little crush on one of your housemates.” Nayeon’s eyebrows jumped up higher than Mina had ever seen them go, and her mouth dropped open a bit.

“For real?” She whispered, eyes darting around. “Are they in this class?” Mina hesitated, then nodded.

“Yeah. They are.” Nayeon’s eyes twinkled.

“Who is it?” Then, something seemed to go off inside her head. “Wait, is it (Y/N)?” Mina sat back a bit.

“How did you know?” A smile was spreading across Nayeon’s features, and Mina didn’t like it.

“A few things make sense now. You stare at them a lot, you know?” Mina flushed automatically, bringing her hands up to cover her face.

“Shut up,” she grumbled, but Nayeon’s grin just grew.

“Listen. You should just talk to them. I promise nothing will go wrong.” Mina peeked out at the other girl.

“What do you mean?”

“Just talk to them. Maybe even ask them out. I’m telling you, you wont regret it.” Mina narrowed her eyes and brought down her hands, but just as she was about to speak, the professor entered the classroom. As Nayeon went to turn back around, she gave Mina a wink and mouthed “just do it”. The problem was, Mina wasn’t sure she could.

When class had ended, Nayeon had caught up to Mina at the door and grabbed her hand, giving it a quick squeeze. 

“Listen to me, Mina. I have an idea.”

“I’m not sure I want to know,” Mina replied, her heart in her throat as people passed all around them, headed to their classes. Nayeon rolled her eyes.

“Trust me, you’ll thank me later. Anyway, my idea. We have some tests coming up, right? Momo already agreed that we should all study together in the library. I’ll casually invite (Y/N) to join us, and then officially introduce you guys and let you get to know each other. If you feel like you really want to get to know them more after studying with them, then you can ask them to hang out with you again sometime. It’s as simple as that.” Then, Nayeon winked. “Or, you can ask them out, right there on the spot.”

“You know I couldn’t do that,” Mina retorted, giving Nayeon a look. Nayeon huffed and crossed her arms.

“What kind of Gryffindor are you, even.”

“A bad one.” Mina checked the time and swallowed. “We both have to get to class, Nayeon.”

“Fine,” the other girl said, flipping her hair. “But you’re coming with me and Momo to the library tonight, and you’re going to talk to (Y/N) and break out of your pathetic little shell.”

“Thanks, Nayeon,” Mina said, sarcasm dripping from her voice, but she knew Nayeon didn’t really mean any harm. Nayeon sent her another wink, before turning around and disappearing into the crowds of students. Mina swallowed and watched her go for a minute before turning around and heading the other way. Could she really do this?

Apparently, she was going to have to, because Momo gave her no choice.

“We’re doing this for you, Mina,” she said as she tugged Mina out of her comfortable bed. “That, and for our grades. But mostly for you. I’m tired of watching you pine.” Mina gave in and stood up, stumbling over to put on her robes and grab her books.

“I don’t know why you guys are so into my romantic life,” Mina said, letting Momo pull her out of the dorms and towards the library. Momo shrugged.

“You make it hard not to be. You’re so cute and smitten, it’s makes everyone want to help.”

“By everyone you mean you and Nayeon,” Mina pointed out.

“Little details,” Momo responded.

The library wasn’t as busy as Mina had expected it to be, with all the upcoming tests, but Momo still steered her towards a small corner in the back of the library that she hadn’t even known existed. It was dark, but comfy, with pillows and a small table nestled into the tight space. Mina gave her best friend a look.

“How do you know about this place?”

“Would you believe me if I said that it was actually Chaeyoung and Jeongyeon who showed me this spoke first?” Actually, she would. For Revenclaws, the two were pretty good at getting into places they shouldn’t be.

“It’s not going to distract me from the fact that I don’t want to know what you and Nayeon have been up to back here.”

“Well, I’m not spilling,” Momo said with a grin, plopping herself down onto one of the many pillows. “Sit down, make yourself comfortable.”

Nayeon arrive only a few minutes later, with you right behind her. Mina’s heart jumped when she saw you, but smiled when she noticed that you looked just as suspicious as she had.

“Did you just bring me to your make-out spot, Nayeon?” Nayeon shrugged and sat down beside Momo.

“Maybe. But we’re going to do some homework here now, so it’s okay. I wont kiss anyone while you’re here.” Momo giggled and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, and you locked eyes with Mina. The only open spot was beside her, and she realized what Momo and Nayeon had been planning. Still, she gave you a small smile and scooted over.

“You can go ahead and sit here,” she said, “I don’t bite.”

“Unless you ask,” Momo said, wiggling her eyebrows. Mina kicked her under the table, her face heating up.

“Don’t be gross,” she hissed, but you laughed as you put your books on the table.

“I don’t think I’ve talked to you at all since second year,” you said, smiling at Mina. “My name is (Y/N), by the way.” Like Mina totally didn’t know.

“I’m Mina,” she said with a smile.

“I know,” you said, then blushed and looked down at the table. “I mean. I remembered your name.” Mina felt hope bubbling up in her chest, and couldn’t hold back the little giggle that escaped her lips. Nayeon looked between them, enjoying the scene a little two much.

“You’re both so adorably awkward,” she commented, cooing a bit. You shot her a look and Mina fiddled with her books, trying not to feel too nervous.

“How are we supposed to study back here,” you said, changing the subject. The blush was still evident on your cheeks, though, and Mina thought it looked cute. “It’s so dark.” Immediately, Momo pulled out her wand. The space was bathed in light as she muttered a spell, and then she smiled.

“Enough light for you?” You huffed and didn’t bother to answer, instead opening up your book. Mina smiled a bit and opened up her own as well, while Momo and Nayeon shared a look before untangling their limbs to grab their own things.

“Well, I guess we’ll get started.”

Studying with you right beside her, Mina realized, was distracting. When you asked her about a problem and she leaned over to explain it, you leaned in even closer, forgoing the concept of personal space. Your shoulder and hands brushed against her and she felt jittery at all the contact. Still, the hope that she’d had was only growing, because when she looked up, she’d sometimes catch you looking at her. You’d quickly look away, of course, but it made her heart do jumping jacks inside her chest.

When it came time to leave, Mina didn’t want to. She mourned the feeling of your shoulder against hers as they all stood up, gathering their things.

“Well, that was surprisingly productive,” Momo commented. “We actually got a lot of shit done.”

“I honestly thought we’d talk more than study,” Nayeon commented. “But I guess this is best for our grades.”

The four of you walked out, past a few other groups packing up. Once all of you stepped outside of the library, Momo stopped and turned around.

“Should we do this again?” Nayeon nodded, but it was you that answered.

“For sure. I mean, if you guys are down with it.” 

“I’m up for doing it again,” Mina said, smiling at you. You smiled back, and her heart jumped again.

Nayeon turned to leave, and you glanced at her before glancing back at Mina, like you were waiting for her to say something. Mina swallowed, and wished to the courage of the great Gryffindors before her for help. 

“Um, actually. I-.” A hundred things ran through her mind to say, but only one made it through. “I like you.” Nayeon’s mouth dropped open, and Momo grinned, proud. Your face immediately bloomed bright red.

“Really?”

“Yep. I guess I’ve probably liked you since second year.” You bit your lip and glanced at Nayeon before looking back at Mina and smiling a bit.

“Would it be weird if I said I’d liked you since then too?” Mina internally screamed, but externally, she giggled.

“Not at all. I’m glad to hear it.”

“Not to break up this cute moment, but we’re getting really close to curfew and I don’t feel like being caught again,” Nayeon butted in. All of you laughed, and then Mina turned back to look at you, a hopeful smile on her face.

“Will I see you tomorrow?” You gave her a blinding smile.

“Of course. I can’t wait.” And the giddiness in your voice told Mina it was true.

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 6

I had said goodnight and closed the door on a still speechless Tom, then slid down the back of it and hit the floor with a gentle thud. I sat there like a rag doll, arms hanging loose at my sides, chin resting on my chest as my synapses fired like a fourth of July fireworks show gone awry. I felt like one of the Synths from HUMANS when their code went bad.

Half an hour went by before the world began to come into focus again, and I slowly began to take the vast amount of shit that required my attention into consideration. I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands.

“Am I insane? How the hell am I going to tie up all my loose ends and do two seminars in two days? What the fuck was I thinking?!?” My phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my bag…it was Tom. Right. That’s what I’d been thinking. I tapped the answer button.

“What can I do to you, Thomas?” I slapped my hand to my forehead when I realized what I’d said. Nothing like a classic Freudian slip to start off our very first phone conversation.

There was a moment of silence, then a sharp intake of breath that was deliciously tantalizing…which I desperately tried to ignore as I scrambled to recover.

“Whoops. Perhaps I should rephrase that. What can I do FOR you, Thomas?”

“I…I…” He cleared his throat. “Christ, Maude, are you trying to kill me? It took me all this time to cease picturing you strutting naked through your suite and regain enough of my composure to hit the call button.”

I grunted out a hmpf. “If it’s any consolation, I’m still sitting with my back against the room door. Because that happens to be where I landed when I slid down it after closing it in your face. Now my legs are asleep and I’m not quite sure how I’m going to get up.”

“Serves you right, you wicked temptress.” He laughed, then paused. “I know you’re ridiculously busy, but I…well, I suppose I just wanted to hear your voice again so I could reassure myself that this unimaginably marvelous day actually happened and I didn’t dream it all.”

I groaned. “Really, Hiddleston? How the fuck I am I supposed to top that? Anything I could conjure up would pale in comparison, so I’ll simply state that I understand and concur.”

“Good. Now, shall I pay you a visit and help you attain a more desirable position?” I didn’t need to see his face to know he was smirking.

“Thomas. Stahp. I have no time for a cold shower break.” He laughed.

“I guess that makes us even, then. I’ll let you get back to work. Goodnight, Maude.”

“Goodnight, Tom. And if you find you need something to keep you occupied, feel free to make me a list of at least five websites you like the looks of. Don’t forget to include exactly what you like and why you like it.”

He huffed. “Did you just assign me homework? Because it sounds very much like you assigned me homework.”

“Let’s call it project participation instead. Better?”

“Marginally.” He paused for a few seconds. “May I call you tomorrow after your seminar?”

“I’d be rather pissed if you didn’t.”

“And I’d be terribly disappointed if you weren’t. Goodnight again, Maude. Try and get some rest.”

“You too. Goodnight again, Tom.”

I hit end call and began the arduous process of hefting myself off the floor. It was even worse than I anticipated, and I was reasonably sure I bore a strong resemblance to a newborn calf standing up for the first time. Once I felt steady enough, I pulled my dress over my head, yanked off my bra and grabbed a T-shirt off the floor. I sniffed it…not bad. I slipped it on, grabbed my messenger bag and plopped down at the desk.  

***************************************************   My first mission was to find a videographer willing to work on extremely short notice. I’d decided to have these last two seminars recorded, hoping one or an edited combination of both would be good enough to post on my website for sale. Consulting was out of the question, but there was no reason to not make some residual cash after so many years of perfecting my lectures. Plus, it alleviated the bit of apprehension I felt at pulling the plug on everything in the blink of an eye. I found one that was open until 11 PM and had experience with marketing production - Kamana Media. I dialed the contact number, fingers crossed.

The rep seemed very excited when I told him what I wanted, but balked when I casually mentioned that I needed it done tomorrow and Wednesday. It took some seriously high levels of Maude-schmooze and tripling their normal rate, but they’d be at the hotel tomorrow morning at 9 AM.

Next came editing my presentations to remove all references to consultations, followed by a search for a shopping cart that worked with both my merchant account and design software. Then came my favorite part…getting the cart customized, adding items, and figuring out how to embed the code to my site files so it would display exactly the way I wanted. The next time I looked up, it was 1 AM and I still had some text modifications to complete, in addition to a ‘hey, so sorry, but I’m outta here’ letter to post on the site and across all my social media accounts. My phone vibrated, dancing its way nearly out of my reach. I picked it up, hoping it wasn’t a last minute kiss off text from the Kamana people, though they closed two hours prior.

Went out for a night walk and noticed that your lights are on. You can’t possibly still be awake at this hour, can you? –T

I’m not sure awake is an accurate representation of my state of consciousness, but I am not currently sleeping, so…technically, yeah. –M

I waited for his reply for a few minutes, but nothing came through. Figuring he might have gotten a call or had fallen asleep, I set the phone back on the table and returned to work. The text changes were easy, but then I realized the menus needed to be adjusted to remove several links. My ability to focus was fading fast, so I cranked up the volume on my iPod, hoping it would give me enough of a boost to power through. I ignored my mother’s voice in my head saying ‘Turn that down, young lady. Do you want to end up deaf? Everyone will think I’m a terrible mother!’ Junkie XL’s ‘Beauty Never Fades’ came on and I sighed happily…exactly what I needed. I put it on repeat.

The third time through I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye…my phone was doing the jig again. I paused the song and nabbed it just as it started to go over the edge of the desk. There were six texts, all from Tom.

“Damn.” I frowned and began to scroll through them.

I’m out in the hallway with a little surprise for you. Hope that’s okay. –T

Hmm, you aren’t answering your door. –T

Does that mean it’s NOT okay? – T

Still knocking. Can’t be too loud, don’t want to wake the neighbors. –T

Hope you’re alright in there. Starting to fret a bit. Ease my mind and reply, please.  –T

Maude, I know you’re in there, I can hear you singing. –T

The phone vibrated in my hand as I yanked out my earbuds, got up, and headed for the door. I undid the bolt and flung it open to find Tom in a white V-neck and navy shorts with an orange-red stripe, pacing and staring at his phone. He raised his head, exhaling seemingly with relief when he saw me. I spotted a carryout tray with two cups in it on the floor, as well as what appeared to be a bag of Lindor truffles. When I lifted my head to meet his gaze and instead caught him in the act of looking me up and down, I suddenly remembered that I was clad only in a thin T-shirt and panties. His eyes finally met mine again, lips parted just enough for his tongue to slip out and graze over them. I began fanning myself with my hand.

“Is it me or is it ridiculously warm tonight?” He said not a word, continuing staring at me with an intensity that made me want to push him down and ride him like a pony right there in the hallway.

“Yeah. Anyway. I had my iPod turned way up so I wouldn’t fall asleep at the wheel, as they say, and totally didn’t hear you knocking. And my phone was on vibrate too. Not that I would have heard it ring if it wasn’t. So. Really, really sorry about that.” I pointed to the truffles. “Please tell me that those are for me. And that the beverages are caffeinated.”

He shook his head as if to clear it and smiled as he put his phone in his pocket, then bent over to pick up the carryout tray. He took two steps towards the door. “Yes, and yes. But I’m afraid you can’t have them unless you invite me in.”

I snorted, stepping back to hold the door for him. “I’d invite Freddy Kruger in if he had Lindor Truffles and caffeine.” He didn’t move. “What? Damn you British and your impeccable manners. Thomas, would you care to enter my temporary domicile?”

He grinned. “Why yes, I thought you’d never ask.” I stuck my tongue out at him.

“You’d best get in here before I snatch that tray out of your hands and slam the door in your face.” He chuckled. I poked him in the chest. “I wasn’t joking.”

He patted my upper arm. “Oh, I’m aware. That’s why it’s funny.” He set the tray on the desk. “You have quite a lovely singing voice, by the way. Have you had any vocal training?”

“Thanks. And no, unless you count the band I was in a thousand years ago when I was young and didn’t know any better. Or when I’m driving. Or working. Or in the grocery store.” I rolled my eyes. “Or everyone’s favorite, when I think of the perfect song for the moment and belt it out no matter the location or company.”

He was leaning on the desk, legs and arms crossed, head tilted. “Do you like to dance, Maude?”

“No, I don’t like to dance.” I watched his face fall a bit. Such an easy mark. “I love to dance. Sometimes I even dance and sing at the same time. It all depends upon how the spirit moves me. Right now it’s moving me towards those truffles, though. Will you do the honors and open them, please?”

I put my phone on the table, walked over to the wardrobe, pulled a pair of cut-off sweatpants out of the drawer and slipped them on. Tom grabbed one of the oversized wing back chairs and dragged it over to the desk for himself. I sat back down in my spot, pulled the earbud jack out of the iPod, put it into shuffle mode and lowered the volume from ‘dance club’ to ‘study session’. He proffered the bag and I took a handful of truffles. I unwrapped one and popped it in my mouth.

“Ung. These are SO good.” I swallowed. “How did you manage to score these at one in the morning?”

“I’ll have you know that they are from my own personal stash. Which I normally never share. With anyone. But, being that you were generous enough to share your cookies with me earlier, I felt it was only fair to reciprocate in kind.” I nodded.

“Let’s not forget about the baked mozzarella, the parmesan fries and the fettucine alfredo I ‘shared’. Totally against my will.” I devoured two more tiny balls of chocolatey goodness. “So, you travel with candy. I would have accepted Luke’s offer immediately and without question if I’d known that.”

He laughed and handed me one of the to-go cups. “Earl Grey tea with a splash of cream. I figured you’d take it with sugar but wasn’t sure how much, so I brought these.”

He pulled a handful of sugar packets out of his pocket and put them on the desk. I took the lid off and took five sugars from the pile. They were warm to the touch, and knowing they had just been so close to his skin made me a little lightheaded. Or maybe it was just lack of sleep. Sure, Maude, keep telling yourself that. I shook my head.

“Damn, did I get that wrong? Luke said you asked for tea earlier so I assumed…” I cut him off.

“Nope, I’m a tea all the way. Coffee makes me ragey for some reason. Let me guess, you travel with teabags too?” He grinned.

“Indeed I do. I got the cups, tray and hot water from the all-night gas station down the road.”

I furrowed my brow. “So you did all this in, like, 15 minutes?” He held his hands out and shrugged, blushing slightly.

“Actually, I stopped at the gas station on the night walk I mentioned when we were texting.” I put the lid back on my tea and swirled it around to mix in the sugar. He pulled a plastic stirrer out of his other pocket and handed it to me, sighing as he realized I’d most likely have guessed that this encounter wasn’t at all spontaneous after hearing what he’d just said. He smiled self-consciously.

I reached out to put a hand on his knee, but he had begun sliding out of the chair towards the desk so he could grab his beverage and it wound up on his bare inner thigh instead. I could feel the muscle tighten under my hand, his hips thrusting upward reflexively in spite of his valiant effort to resist. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, opening them when I felt his hand on top of mine through his shorts. His jaw was clenched, nostrils flaring as he tried to control his breathing. My pulse was pounding in my ears and in my head and in my chest…and, most noticeably, in my groin. We exhaled in unison. He spoke first, taking my free hand in his.

“Maude, I…I am so, so sorry…I didn’t…” I shook my head vehemently.

“Thomas. Please. Don’t you dare apologize for what was perhaps the most sexually exciting moment of my life.” I bit my lip again, leaned in closer and raised an eyebrow. “So far.” He began rubbing my wrist with this thumb, his face a kaleidoscope of emotions.

“You…you’re…you aren’t offended?” He looked puzzled.

“By the fact that just putting my hand on your thigh earned me a pelvic thrust? Um, no. Nope. Not even a little.” I squeezed his hand. “Why would you think I’d be offended by a physical expression of something we’ve been bantering back and forth about for hours? And let’s not forget that you’ve literally seen me naked already.”

He shook his head. “I’m…I…damn. That’s not really what I meant. I was more referring to the idea that I’d arrived with tea and truffles not to spend time with you, but instead as a ruse to get you into bed. I didn’t. Honestly. I just don’t want you to think less of me, or that I don’t respect you, or that this is how I conduct myself with women I’ve just met, despite what most of the world seems to believe, and most importantly I absolutely don’t want you to conclude that I think you’re just another notch on my belt and that all I want from you is sex because that couldn’t be further from the truth …god, I’m fucking this up royally, aren’t I?” His chin fell to his chest.

I let go of his hand so I could touch his face. “You most certainly are not.”

We were both silent for what seemed like an eternity, La Roux’s “Tigerlily’ playing softly in the background.

“I could be here when you call I’ll make you top of the list And in the crush of the dark I’ll be your light in the mist I can see you burning with desire for a kiss Psychobabble all upon your lips”

He slowly raised his head as the chorus repeated, wrapping his fingers around my wrist and holding my hand to his face. I’d heard the song a hundred times, and sung it nearly as many, but suddenly the lyrics held meaning I could have never envisioned. The look in his eyes told me they resonated with him as well.

I slid the hand that was still on his thigh out from under his shorts and got up from my chair, closing the space between us in a single step. He looked up at me, eyes wide, as I climbed into his lap and straddled him. I felt his arm wrap around my waist as I leaned in and touched my lips to his. They were warm, and soft, and I couldn’t resist running my tongue across them. He opened his mouth to me in invitation, and I accepted with boundless enthusiasm. He tasted of chocolate, with a faint hint of something spicy I didn’t recognize. He bit my bottom lip before thrusting his tongue out to meet mine, and I seized the moment to capture and begin sucking on it. He groaned loudly and yanked the tie from my hair, freeing it so he could bury his fingers in my curls. Time seemed to have come to a screeching halt as we devoured each other, completely lost in the moment, until our teeth crashed together with such force that it made my ears ring and brought us back to reality.

I was panting like I’d run a six minute mile. “Shit. You okay?”

His chest heaved as he grinned. “I am positively divine, thank you.” I responded by grinding my pelvis against him, then pushed myself up and off his lap. “Maaauuuuuuddde. Where. Are. You. Going.”

I shimmied out of my sweat-shorts and returned to my spot, grinding against him again. “Mmm, that’s much better.” I dragged my hand down his chest and stomach, smirking as I slipped it under the hem of his V-neck. “May I?”

He leaned forward and lifted his arms over his head. I peeled it off slowly, drinking in the sight of his naked torso. Tossing the shirt to the side, I leaned in and licked the hollow above his collarbone. He gasped, and I traversed to his left nipple, first biting it gently, then suckling. His long, low moan was intoxicating, making me dizzy with want. I felt the warmth of his hand on the skin of my back as he pushed my T-shirt upward. I pulled back and raised my arms above my head before he even had a chance to ask for permission. He laughed.

“Eager, are we?” His voice was deeper than usual, throaty and full of ardor.

“You have no idea.” I was blinded momentarily as he finished removing my shirt. When my view was once again unobstructed, the intensity in his stare as he gazed from my breasts to my face then back again made me wonder if spontaneous combustion was in my near future. He let out a low whistle.

“Oh, but I believe I do, Maude. I believe I do.” He took one in each hand, running a thumb over each already rock hard nipple, then pulled me forward to take one in his mouth. It was my turn to gasp, and I wound my fingers in his hair, holding him to me. He alternated from one to the other, and I felt his hand creep down my stomach, finally reaching my mound and cupping it gently. My panties were soaked through. He let my nipple go with a pop and looked up at me, eyes dark and pupils blown wide with desire.

“My apologies, you were, in fact, correct…I had no idea.” He slid his hand under the elastic waistband, whining audibly when it met skin that was waxed bare and dripping wet. He tugged at the fabric, unable to utter anything other than “Off. Please.”

I stood, pushing them down over my legs, then kicked them off. I paused for a moment to take him in, my eyes resting on the bulge tenting his shorts that made it glaringly obvious he had opted for going commando this evening. I stepped between his legs, leaning down to slip my hands under his shorts at the waist. I hesitated, knowing we were near the point of no return but hadn’t covered all our bases. I looked up at him.

“So. Tests?” It took him a moment to piece together what I was getting at.

“Yes. Last year. Clean. No one since. You?”

“2010. Clean. No one since. On the pill.” His eyes widened in surprise and I didn’t wait for him to comment. “Yes, five years. I’m very…particular.” I grabbed onto his waistband and pulled with one hand, tapping his hip with the other. “Lift.”

He raised his hips up and I eased the shorts over his erection, then slipped them off his ass and down his legs. He smiled as I licked my lips, then grunted as I took him in hand. At least eight inches of glorious purpose, and almost too thick for me to get my fingers around. I leaned in to whisper in his ear as I stroked up and down, squeezing, pausing now and again to run my thumb over his weeping slit.

“It’s no wonder Loki thinks he deserves a throne. THIS is the cock of a king.” He growled, a sound so low and deep that I could actually see his chest vibrating, and began to lift himself up off the chair.

I let go of his cock and put both hands on his shoulders, pushing him firmly back into a seated position as I nestled my knees on either side of his hips. He raised his brows quizzically, eyes narrowed.

“No bed?” I shook my head. He looked down at himself, then back at me, concerned. It finally dawned on me what he was getting at, and I supposed that his size might be a challenge for some women if they weren’t sufficiently aroused. I shook my head again and rubbed my soaked pussy up and down his shaft, groaning as the tip hit my clit over and over.

“Nope.” Groan. “I’m good.” He reached between us, sliding two long fingers inside me. I came instantly, and the look on his face was priceless.

“Di..I…did you…did you just…” I rolled my hips and squeezed his fingers, grasping his face with both hands as I leaned in to pull his bottom lip into my mouth briefly. He moaned as he withdrew his fingers and brought them to my lips. I licked at them, then sucked them clean greedily. I felt him shudder as I rose up on my knees. He breathed deeply, inhaling and exhaling for a few moments as he tried to pull himself back from the edge.

“Maude.”

“Tom.”

“Not going to last long.”

“Don’t care.”

“I…I…Mau…”

I kissed him sloppily, cutting him off, then spoke.

“Thomas. William. Hiddleston. Shut up and fuck me already.”

Before I even got the ‘me already’ out the head of his cock was poised at my entrance, and our eyes locked as I pushed down and he pushed up, meeting no resistance and fully seating himself in a single thrust. He stared at me in wonder, mouth agape, gasping and grabbing onto my hips as I began to ride him.

“Maude…that…you…how…all of me…GOD…feels incredible…you…so warm…so WET.” He began thrusting, and I squeezed, matching his rhythm. His eyes rolled back in his head for a few seconds, then met mine again. “Close. Too close.” He maneuvered his hand between us again, rubbing my clit furiously with two fingers. I rolled my hips faster, chanting his name as my walls clenched around him.

“Tom. Tom. Tom. Tom.” Words quickly failed me and my chant devolved into a monosyllabic keen. His thrusts faltered, stuttering, and he cried out.

“Oh, Maude, god, Maude, oh FUCK, oh Maude…” I felt him pulsing inside me, come jetting in long, slow spurts, the edges of my vision going dark, hearing screaming as I came that I didn’t initially recognize as my own.  

***************************************************   When I began to emerge from what I thought was a post-coital haze, Tom’s arms were wrapped tightly around my limp torso, holding me to his chest. My head lolled on his shoulder, his chin nuzzling my neck. I raised a leaden arm and set about rubbing his back. I felt him smile.

“Well hello there.” His voice was just above a whisper. As I raised my head to look at him, my body shifted and I realized he was still inside me. He smiled sheepishly when I met his gaze. “Sorry about that. I didn’t want to wake you.” I yawned.

“Mmm, I’m totally fine with staying this way forever.” I leaned back, cocking my head, puzzled. “Wake me? What do you mean, wake me?”

He grinned and kissed the tip of my nose. “It appears the vigorousness of our…activities…combined with the lateness of the hour exhausted you completely, resulting in your dozing off for a bit.”

I groaned. “Um, how long was I, you know, dozing?”

He traced my spine with his fingertips. “About fifteen minutes or so.”

I covered my eyes with my hand and shook my head. “Fuck. Me. Sideways.” He leaned in to whisper in my ear.

“Let’s save that for next time. You, darling, need to get some sleep.” I sighed, figuring he’d be out the door as soon as I was off his lap. I tried to reach my T-shirt, which was behind me on the floor, intending to use it to contain some of the mess when I got up. His was already in his hand. “Here, let me help.”

I lifted myself off him slowly, wondering how it was that my legs weren’t asleep. He gently nudged the shirt in place as his cock slid out of me. He was at half-mast. I bit my lip and rocked my hips. He chuckled as he put his hands under my arms to help me stand.

“Don’t tempt me, woman. It’s taking every ounce of my willpower to refrain from fucking you into that mattress all night long.” I whined. “But you have a very long day ahead of you and it’s well past 2 AM.” He walked me to the bathroom, closing the door after I went inside. I bundled up the shirt, tossing it on the floor as I sat on the bowl to pee, wiped, flushed, then brushed my teeth quickly. I opened the door, fully expecting him to be gone.

He was standing right outside, waiting, and kissed me quickly. “Do you have an extra toothbrush I can use?” I shook my head. “May I use yours, then?”

I nodded. “Sure. Yeah.”

I stood in my stupor, listening to the toilet flush again, the water running, him spitting…and suddenly there he was, naked, smiling, beautiful, and herding me over to the king size bed. He pulled back the covers, motioned for me to climb in and glanced at the clock.

“What time do you need to be up?” I blinked.

“Um, seven? I guess?” He set the alarm and stood next to the bed. I just stared at him. He grinned.

“Well, are you going to move over or would you prefer that I get in on the other side?” I moved over and rolled onto my side. He climbed in and nestled in against my back, arm around my waist. He kissed the top of my head.

“Goodnight, my Maude.”

I was sound asleep before I could return the sentiment.

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: They Call Me IDOL! Reliving BTS' Musical Journey Through IDOLiSH7

  One day as I was cruising the crunchy-catalog, I came across a little show called IDOLiSH7. I was in the market for a new show, and what I was presented with was not only a show with delightful characters and great music but a nostalgic reminder of the musical journey of one of my favorite k-pop groups ... yes, it's BTS! You know, TIME's Entertainer of the Year. Between a similar origin story, self-marketing, and team image, I couldn't help but draw comparisons to how this show reminded me of "International K-pop Sensation Sunshine Rainbow Traditional Transfer USB Hub Shrimp BTS," as well as see how the show highlights the entertainment industry when it comes to navigating trainee life, agencies, and debut.

  Who doesn't love an underdog story? IDOLiSH7 revolves around seven young, aspiring idols who train under the agency Takanashi Productions, and their manager, Tsumugi Takanashi, who is tasked with coaching these hard-working trainees to debut as a successful idol group.

From the beginning, it's very apparent Takanashi Productions is a small agency that doesn't have a lot of money. Aside from the rare times they splurge when celebrating special occasions, the idols are often supplied cheaper lunches. When it comes to promotion, it's not TV performances that are getting their name out there, but rather the idols themselves and their manager promoting their music and upcoming concerts around town by spreading the word, handing out flyers, and street performing. Because flyers and local concerts can only reach so many people, Tsumugi decides to later emphasize internet projects like IDOLiSH Night With You, a variety web show where IDOLiSH7 partakes in activities while also working on their approachability, accessibility, and connecting with their fans.

  When I look back at the early days of BTS, they too debuted under a small agency with limited money — especially when compared to the big three entertainment giants in South Korea: JYP, SM, and YG Entertainment. When getting started, BTS didn't have the same resources as other idol groups. While IDOLiSH7 ate cheaper lunches, BTS had to practice their singing in a basement and recorded songs for their first full album in a garage. When it came to promotion, Big Hit didn't have the ability to market the group widely, so BTS turned to the digital space, relying heavily on social media as a means to connect with fans. Their social presence included casual posts, vlogs, and later on, yup you guessed it, a well-produced — and very entertaining — variety show! While IDOLiSH7 has IDOLiSH Night With You, BTS has Run BTS, a variety show that also participates in activities like drama reenactments and cooking shows, allowing fans to feel connected and providing an approachable feel where ARMY are able to see the members being their honest selves.

  #방탄소년단 #BTS Debut Showcase photo update! ☞ (( http://t.co/43HAicnXiR )) pic.twitter.com/MddkYmQWRQ

— BTS_official (@bts_bighit) June 13, 2013

  Both the members of IDOLiSH7 and BTS were specifically selected — brought together in untraditional ways with a mixture of personalities and individual appeal that brings something special to the group when they are all together. In short, it's seven members with various personalities, skills, and goals. This connection seems VERY obvious, I get it. On the surface, it's super easy to make a connection between RM and Yamato by saying, "Oh well they're both the leader," or to compare Nagi and Jin because they're both visuals who also just so happen to have this youthful and fun personality with love for character mascots. But as I continued watching the series and saw the character development, I started to see a deeper connection beyond the surface and immediate similarities.

      BT21의 특별선물 전세계에 딱 하나뿐인 대형알제이 진 에디션 중고로 나오면 범인은 김석진 완성 소식 듣고 자다 일어나서 출근함 감사합니다BT21 pic.twitter.com/bdoJwjnx4G

— 방탄소년단 (@BTS_twt) July 17, 2020

  Not all of the IDOLiSH7 characters had the same reason for becoming an idol. Mitsuki — who brings this feeling of encouragement and positive energy — dreamed of becoming an idol and worked hard auditioning for years in the hope of signing with an agency to get their chance in the spotlight. Iori — whose personality is more logical — simply wanted to support and help fulfill another's dream. 

When I watched this development between Mitsuki and Iori unfold, I couldn't help but think of V and how he came to be a trainee at Big Hit, and later, a member of BTS. Like Iori, V initially had no intention of auditioning for an agency, but soon found himself as a trainee after he was encouraged to try out by an executive, (and getting permission from his dad) after being spotted at an audition, even though he was just there supporting someone who was trying out. While V and Iori entered into the industry by unconventional means, getting in is half the battle. Staying in is a whole other pressure that, as I was watching IDOLiSH7, I came to realize Riku and Suga know all too well.

  The entertainment industry is tough and often an uphill battle. Trainees work hard for years to get their shot at debuting and despite all that hard work, it's not guaranteed your career will be launched. Being let go is a harsh reality and trainees don't want to give the agencies any reason to cut them. This is why some trainees hide secrets that could affect their chances of debuting, and in IDOLiSH7, it's Riku who withholds knowledge about a certain condition. Luckily for Riku, he's surrounded by support from his fellow members and his manager who sees his potential and wants him to continue this journey.

    When the series revealed this aspect of Riku fairly early on, I recalled when Suga injured his shoulder while working a part-time delivery job to pay his tuition, and how he too kept that a secret from his agency in the fear of having his dreams of working in music cut short. When talking about his injury, Suga said he thought Big Hit would let him go if they knew about it, but that wasn't what happened. When Suga discussed his future with Big Hit and Bang Si-Hyuk, their support for him became apparent, and like Riku, Suga saw how Big Hit was willing to wait and they ended up paying for his tuition.

  via BANGTANTV

  IDOLiSH7 members Sogo and Tamaki are members of a subunit called MEZZO. Now, I won't go into detail about how MEZZO came about because you know, spoilers, BUT what struck me is that although these two characters perform as members of a subunit, their desire to perform with the rest of the group remains strong.

IDOLiSH7 is a series that really focuses on that team aspect. Tsumugi is a supportive manager who fights for the group's success, and the members are appreciative of her hard work and guidance. Although there are certain strategies Tsumugi wants to explore when it comes to getting this group off the ground, Tsumugi also hears the thoughts and opinions of the group, creating a trustworthy, well-balanced partnership and establishing a strong team image.

  Similarly, BTS is a group whose members partake in solo projects and perform in subunits. From mixtapes to music singles to performing songs as either the rap line or vocal line, the members of BTS are individuals with unique identities who express themselves creatively through many musical opportunities. Although BTS has the opportunity to express themselves creatively and create and collaborate on music as individuals, Big Hit and Bang Si-Hyuk also emphasize team image, and like IDOLiSH7, it's very clear BTS loves performing as a group, which is inspiring to see. 

  RM's playlist "mono." 10/23 -- pic.twitter.com/hPNhNMMHSw

— 방탄소년단 (@BTS_twt) October 20, 2018

#jhope <Chicken Noodle Soup (feat. Becky G)> MV Sketch More photos @ (https://t.co/FYK528MADp) pic.twitter.com/PbqCNSWB3w

— BTS_official (@bts_bighit) September 28, 2019

Agust D '대취타' Music Video Out Now (https://t.co/yed4lgwPrg)#AgustD #D_2 #대취타 #Daechwita

— BigHit Entertainment (@BigHitEnt) May 22, 2020

[#오늘의방탄] Good Morning America @GMA???? with #BTS -The Biggest Boy Band on the Planet- #BTSonGMA pic.twitter.com/dBho7QqGss

— BTS_official (@bts_bighit) September 26, 2018

  IDOLiSH7 intrigued me with its similar origin story to a music group I admire, but it hooked me with its well-balanced ensemble cast, upbeat music, and an authentic look at the entertainment industry. I clicked because of the connection, but I "jumped high" for Yamato, Mitsuki, Sogo, Nagi, Riku, Iori, and Tamaki, better known as IDOLiSH7!

  What are your thoughts on IDOLiSH7 and BTS? Let us know in the comments!

    Pro hero Veronica Valencia is an anime-loving hot sauce enthusiast! You can follow more of her work as a host, writer, and producer on Twitter and Instagram.

  Do you love writing? Do you love anime? If you have an idea for a features story, pitch it to Crunchyroll Features!

By: Veronica Valencia

[idolizerp]

[ LOADING INFORMATION ON VIVID’S MAIN DANCE MOON MONA…. ]

DETAILS

CURRENT AGE: 23 DEBUT AGE: 16 SKILL POINTS: 15 VOCAL | 15 DANCE | 00 RAP | 10 PERFORMANCE SECONDARY SKILLS: Multi-instrumentalist (guitar, piano)

INTERVIEW

debuting fresh off her sixteenth birthday, moon mona was perhaps an atypical choice for the group. they came onto the scene with an image that began already rather sexually charged, veiled in short bloomer style shorts and pastel colors, as if that were less affronting, less obvious, as if there weren’t suddenly and immediately eyes all over the young girl, surprise that she was a minor, that someone so young could look like that.

in fact, she probably shouldn’t have debuted that young at all. there is something inherently damaging in entering the public eye that early. the scrutiny wears at you, an endless tide beating against crags and cliffs until they wear smooth as sea glass.

many times, this is how mona feels.

a wild child plucked from the streets of jeju, from backroads where sand blows over the asphalt on the breeze that carries with it the scent of the ocean. maybe this is why she so easily melts into the role of summer goddess when it is bequeathed to her. she has the energy and power of the ocean, she thinks fondly, when she watches herself dance. this is what they capitalize on. she has a sensuality beyond her years, a grace that defies age, a presence that commands attention.

it disappears offstage into a flurry of eye smiles and half hidden laughter, tucked behind a hand that trembles just a little bit, nervous still under the direct glare of the camera, the lights. she’s young when she debuts, and foolish, and the image that they have her selling - relatable, girl next door, but impossibly hot - is one that both suits her and stifles her.

she isn’t the strongest at either skill. she doesn’t have the range to sing main, with her voice lending itself to a certain mellow, husky timbre. as she gets older and her voice continues to change and develop, it moves further into this range, and farther from the expected idol falsetto filled soprano. but she manages within her range just fine. her live performances are stable and day by day, more and more, she commands attention. she draws eyes. it covers her shortcomings, the way she can move, the look in her gaze. they chalk it up to a natural sex appeal. mona could wear a potato sack and still look like a million bucks, still have fans knocking at her door, that’s what they say.  

at eighteen, nineteen, even twenty the comments make her uncomfortable. by twenty one she doesn’t really watch her parts in their videos anymore. she knows what they’ll focus on, how the camera will pan over toned thighs or the curve of her ass, or her chest, she knows the look in her eyes because she’s spent hours practicing it in front of the practice room mirrors. it all feels so hollow, but it sells like hotcakes. as their concepts become more sexual, mona shines more and more, despite herself, reluctant to capitalize on something that makes her feel so uncertain, like the weight of eyes sinks beneath her skin to make it crawl.

she can feel herself changing, day by day, under the weight of a thousand eyes, purposefully smoothing out the rough edges of herself, until she is polished and shining and pristine. effortless in her casual charm, in her relatable silliness, in the way she can so naturally shine with a sincerity that doesn’t seem half so manufactured as it is.

maybe it’s not. maybe this is who she is now, changed by the constant weathering of the sea. featureless and shining, polished until she is devoid of anything, a mirror held up to reflect the image men want to see in her. because let’s be honest, she was placed in the group  not for her outstanding talent, but for her visual appeal, even then. curves in the right places, a warmth and charm that drew in the viewer, a gap between on stage and off that compelled fascination. mostly, mona is just glad they can’t see that she’s tired of this. of the same sultry themes, the same lurid movements; suggestive but tasteful, they claim. she’s very well trained, she thinks, because she never rolls her eyes half so hard as she might want too.

and she gets the sort of rumors that the hypersexualized type tend to get, and then some. she takes a hiatus due to a bout of pneumonia contracted from the flu gone untreated, and there are malevolent rumors that she’s gotten an abortion, rumors the company finally, this time, steps up to smack down, to sue those who are propagating them. but even after, the menial ones continue.  is she dating this one or that one, is she posing like that on purpose? did she get her boobs done, are they real, is she showing them off? why does she try so hard, doesn’t she know this is trashy, isn’t this inappropriate? can’t she do anything but dance and make those faces, doesn’t she have anything else to show us? isn’t it always the same?it is, mona wants to tell them. it is always the same, because that’s what you all wanted. that’s what’s selling my albums and my merchandise. that’s why i’ve had a dietician and a trainer since i was sixteen years old, that’s why i spent my childhood smiling at leering middle aged men. and now you want me to do something else?

she’d like too, sure. she dreams of an artsy, lo-fi album. something folk inspired maybe, just her and a guitar and some producers to fill in the gaps. but the company knows no one wants that, they tell her. no one wants that from moon mona of heaven. they want a toned body and a bright smile and a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, they want long hair in artfully done waves that suggest she might just have left the ocean. and she can give that to them, so why risk anything else?

but she does. god, does she want to risk it. hones skills that aren’t hers to advertise, practices her vocals until she could rival the other members, maybe, if anyone would give her some lines. if anyone would let her sing. she works her way relentlessly towards the distant promise of a solo career, towards her desires to produce music she can be proud of. with their contracts arriving at expiration soon the company begins to yield to her desires, but alway sin their own way, always in their own manner. she’ll take it, she thinks, she’ll take whatever she can get.

and so mona is seaglass. weathered and unchanging, polished to a smooth shine. featureless but beautiful, meant to be admired, touched, and then put away again to keep for another summer day.

BIOGRAPHY

MOON MONA is born at the stroke of midnight, which might have meant something magical and mysterious in another story, but in this one, it means only that her mother had a little tidbit of a story to share about her midnight baby. The seaside hospital was perfectly well equipped and her mother faced no difficulties with the delivery, other than the usual. Her father was - and remains - quite typical of his generation.  Fifteen years older than her mother, he was smoking outside when Mona was born, and would remain sort of blandly absent for the remainder of their relationship. Mona holds no ill will here. In a rapidly developing society, he is undoubtedly the product of his time and not of her own. Not even of her mother’s, somehow.

Her mother is a lecturer at a nearby school - a small affair, nothing notable. She teaches biology to freshmen and an upper level botany course and Mona is surrounded by flowers and the sea from birth. The young girl is tangled in them, in the smell of fresh cut grass and salt spray, flowers braided into her hair during long hours in the fields on the edges of town, only a bus ride away.

She loves the bus, loves to stare out the window as it rattles and lurches through the town. When she gets older, her indomitable will and unstoppable energy demand trips to the nearby city to go to dance classes. She’s grown tired of the basic fare offered her in her smaller town, and so an hour off she rides, thumping along the road and dozing between stops. As she grows older and her interest refuses to wane her mother expresses gentle discouragement and her father nods in distracted agreement in the corner.

Perhaps the most attention either of them pay to her, she thinks later, is when she skips school to attend auditions for the first time. They’re furious of course, at the call from the school, at the fact she hadn’t answered her phone, at the fact she dared run off to audition at all. What a stupid pipe dream, they tell her. Do you think we moved to Busan for this, so you could gallivant off to the capital and do whatever you want?

The move had upset her, honestly. Stealing her home away had been the most intolerable cruelty for a girl of thirteen, had unleashed a rebellious fury only the unbridled ocean and other parents of teenage girls with strong wills and fierce eyes could imagine, or hope to match.

So at thirteen Mona’s willful teenage form of rebellion is to pursue a pointless dream, spurred on by her fondness for the likes of SNSD and the Wonder Girls. She copies choreography, she practices singing, begs her way into continuing vocal lessons. She skips after school classes to put in more hours dancing or singing, she spends her time making faces in the mirror and wielding a hairbrush, as so many do.

The difference is that one day, someone sees something in her.

She’s promising they tell her. She has a look, a vibe, and how old is she right now? They don’t seem deterred by her confident answer of fourteen, just take a step back to examine her, ask if she can sing, or dance maybe, and are pleased when she answers to the affirmative. She should have known then, taking the card, turning up for the audition, that they’d been more sold on her face, her figure than anything else. But she was young, and she was foolish, and she had a silly little dream, as her mother might say.

The second time her family really, really notices her is when she explains she’s thinking of moving in with her aunt while she trains.

Her father is distractedly horrified, perhaps more because he should be than because he’s actually unhappy about it, and her mother has sort of just given up on the idea of an academically inclined daughter, a daughter she could maybe relate too, in some way. There isn’t an attempt to meet Mona at her level, to get to know her, or why she loves dance so much. They dismiss these things as childish whims, tell her to come home when she’s ready.

She debuts instead.

In an instant her life changes. Immediately she becomes frozen in time, it seems. Mentally she feels still as though she never quite left that moment of being a naive sixteen year old, practicing choreography designed to put more than mildly inappropriate thoughts into the heads of viewers, thrilled because this was her big chance, her big break. Foolish, ultimately, but not untrue.

She has made it, after all. At twenty three she’s established a name for herself, a brand. That brand might not be one she wants, nor one she is comfortable with, but it sells. Sex always sells, and until she hits that magical age at which women cease to appeal to men sexually on a general level, and then she’ll retire and do something like mediocre acting or variety or nothing, just get married and fade away. She’s done things that make her sick, has lived experiences that make her ill, producers with wandering hands and comedians and hosts who think it all too acceptable to push advances on her based only on an image portrayed on screen, assigned her by the lustful masses, faceless commenters that feel it acceptable to nitpick her body, her styling, her sexuality, her appeal.

Mona is seaglass. She would like to be a flower, taking root and blooming, growing day by day, flourishing, flowering. But Mona is not life and greenery, she is not reaching and seeking. She is sea glass, polished and glimmering, appealing in the moment and ultimately discarded.