#i feel like this can go anywhere?? they could be strangers/exes/ex friends/went to high school together/enemies LAKSJDK

[malboraslihan]

@wozmi​ liked for a wishlist starter | based on the fifth bullet

sana curses herself again, fists banging against her lap cause god, she should have insisted on leaving earlier. she knows it would've been useless, deep down, her parents barely let her out the door imagine if they would let her work out a few hours before. but now here she was, stuck on traffic on what felt like the hottest day on the year, no sign of moving and with a broken air conditioner — though that one was her fault, her parents did offer to fix it, or borrow her a new car for the trip, and her stubborn self just settled on a no. arranging her hair in a bun, she finally takes the courage to leave her car, tapping on the stranger's window, using her best smile possible. "hi, sorry." she's already regretting it, charms were her parents thing, clearly not hers. "can i seat with you? my ac is broken"

[rattyoakenbitch]

karate kid: “because of you” ₊˚ ⸝  johnny x reader

❝but it can all get a lil’ crazy, unless there’s something to hold onto. for me, that was true love.❞

gif credit: n/a song: lana del rey - because of you

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

pairings: johnny lawrence (1984) x reader

warnings: angst, language, mentions of sex, themes of depression, the overuse of the word ‘baby’ lmfaooo

summary: despite johnny’s reputation, you still weren’t expecting him, your first and only, to be unfaithful. but you were only a blind fool in love, after all.

“.. What the hell is going on here?”

You stood back on the beach overlook with your friend, watching the scene unravel before your eyes.

Below you, there Johnny was, along with his little Cobra Kai gang. The small crowd of teenagers around him shouted and cheered as he brawled with a smaller kid in a red sweater, who was obviously getting his ass beat. 

“Dammit, Johnny, stop!” 

A familiar high pitched, girlish scream caught your attention. Your eyes scanned the crowd until they stopped on Ali, who you knew to be Johnny’s old flame. Despite them being over for a while now, you knew Johnny still had feelings for her. But it was something you buried in the back of your mind. You were too in love with Johnny to acknowledge or care about the fact that he hasn’t moved on. 

Now, watching what was happening, you didn’t know what to think or how to feel. You’ve barely talked to Johnny at all over the week, and now you find him here?

Instead of intervening and chasing after Johnny, you gestured for your friend to follow you back to the car and head elsewhere. She didn’t protest and based on the heartbroken expression on your face, she knew better than to question you. Now was not the time to talk it through. 

Since that night, things were not the same. You explained your situation to your parents who were aware of your relationship, or now former relationship with Johnny. Johnny would call a few times a day, but you never bothered to pick up. His calls started to get more and more frequent, so you ended up blocking his number. Because of this, you started to fall out with the Cobra Kais, who you made good friends with because of your relationship with Johnny. So knowing you’d run into them at school, you stopped attending and would spend the days locked up in your room, only going out to use the bathroom or get something from the kitchen. By now, Johnny knew something was up, and went as far as to pick a fight with your dad whenever he’d drop by your house, asking to see you.

“Come on! I just wanna see Y/N, dammit!”

“She’s none of your business anymore, young man. Now get the hell off my property!”

“Man, fuck you! Let me see her! I need to talk to her!”

“You have three seconds, Mr Lawrence!”

“Y/N, I know you’re in there! I know you can hear me!”

The days became gloomier and gloomier. Weeks had passed and you hadn’t talked to anybody. You shut everyone out and would spend the days alone in your bed, wallowing in your own self pity.

How could you be so foolish?

To think you could be the one to fix Johnny. 

To think he loved you as much as you loved him.

To think he would want a future with you as much as he wanted your clothes off.

But the reality hit you; you were just a rebound. And you let him use you. It was all your fault. 

An overwhelming feeling of nausea and anxiety overtook you. You jumped off your bed and ran to the bathroom, pushing open the toilet lid and vomiting. You flushed the contents down and got to your feet to straighten yourself up. You looked at yourself in the mirror, your eyes widening in disbelief. You didn’t even recognize your reflection.. The person looking back at you was a stranger.

You lifted your hand up to touch your face as you analyzed your appearance. You had dark bags under your bloodshot eyes, your hair disheveled, skin pale and dry. 

“That’s just great.”

Sighing, you stooped down to the sink to rinse your mouth out and splash water on your face. As soon as you were finished, you flicked the light switch and trailed back to your room. However, you were stopped in your tracks by the sound of your father’s voice. 

“Y/N..? Oh, wow.. Wow, girl, I haven’t seen you in days.. How are you feeling now?” He stared down at you, searching your empty face for answers. You avoided his gaze, crossing his arms and looking down at your feet. He sighed, “The school called. You need to return by this Monday.”

You felt your heart sink. You looked up at him, opening your mouth to speak until he cut you off.

“I know you’re still healing but... This isn’t good for you. When you get back to school, you’ll at least get to hang out with your friends again, right?” You weakly shrugged, causing him to let out another heavy sigh. He patted your shoulder. “It’ll get better and soon, you’ll be back to your normal self!”

“What day is it?” you asked.

“It’s Sunday..”

You groaned, “Oh, gosh.” 

“Hey, hey, hey, you’ll be fine.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, definitely. I’ll run into my ex and his little posse, who I ghosted, and then have to explain to my friends why I look and feel like shit. Great. Thanks dad,” you scoffed sarcastically, and stormed off into your room, slamming it shut.

Today was the today. Exasperatingly, you dragged yourself out of bed, showered, brushed your teeth, and tied up your hair into a long braid that cascaded down your back. You figured you’d put on a bit of concealer to hide your dark circles, and topped that off by applying dark red lipstick. You dressed yourself in a white shirt, the collar sticking out of the green sweater you layered on top of it. You matched that with a white pleated skirt that stopped mid thigh, and slipped on a pair of black knee high socks. 

Finished with your look, you shrugged on your backpack and headed downstairs, putting on your Mary Janes before pulling open the front door. You ignored your mom’s calls and ran out to the driveway, about to get into your vehicle to head to school. However, the plans seemed to change when a familiar red car idling on your street caught your attention. 

Your heart began to thump loudly in your chest when you met Johnny’s burning gaze as he waited for you in the car. Knowing how stubborn and persistent he was, you immediately gave up and got into the car, slamming the door shut. 

“All right, so you gonna explain where the hell you’ve been?” Anger and rancor dripped off his voice. You knew this would happen.

Turning to look him in the eye, you treated him with the same attitude. “Oh, that’s just golden! Where have I been? No, Johnny, where the hell have you been? I was trying to reach you for over a week until I found you at the beach with Ali.. Not to mention you were picking on that poor kid.”

As soon as you mentioned Ali, Johnny’s demeanor changed. He laid back into his seat, his jaw clenched. He was caught. 

“Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out?”

When he wouldn’t reply, you broke the silence. “I don’t wanna argue with you right now, let alone talk to you. Now just drive me to school or I’ll be late.”

He scoffed. “Since when did you care about being late? You were absent for more than a week!”

“Jeez, wonder why,” you retorted. “You know what? This was a mistake.” You pushed open the car door, about to step out, when Johnny gripped your wrist, pulling you back. 

“Wait, don’t go,” he said softly, begging you to stay. Worry filled his big baby blue eyes as he waited on your decision. “Please, Y/N.” You could never say no to him, especially when he was giving you that look. You got back into the car and shut the door, but faced away from Johnny. You swatted away his hand, causing him to recoil and put both hands on the wheel. 

“If we’re gonna talk, let’s not do it here,” you said.

After that, you both stayed silent as he started the car, driving off to wherever. As you drew nearer to your destination, the surroundings started to look more and more familiar. It hit you; this is where you and Johnny had your first kiss, and maybe a little more than just that.. You found yourself smiling at the memories. Then again, maybe some things are just better as memories. 

You were laid beside Johnny on his car, watching the sunset. When the sun went down, instead of heading back home, you ended up stargazing together. You both entirely forgot about your surroundings and the time, getting lost in conversation. Conversation turned into kissing, which eventually lead to something much more heated. 

“You’re so damn beautiful, baby. I can’t believe you’re all mine,” Johnny hummed, beaming and grinning widely. You giggled, continuing to pepper his pretty face with kisses.

“Well, you better believe it then, babe,” you said in between kisses. “Cause I’m not going anywhere.” 

Johnny sighed in satisfaction, pulling you closer to him. “Good, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Johnny managed to catch your lips, capturing you in a deep, passionate and loving kiss. He held you tightly against him as you straddled his lap like his life depended on it. 

Johnny pulled over, snapping you back into reality. You overlooked the city as he shut off the car engine with a heavy sigh, preparing himself for whatever was to come out of this conversation.

“So? You got anything to say for yourself, Lawrence?”

He took a moment to think, before opening his mouth to speak. 

“Y/N.. I’m sorry. I fucked up big time.” You scoffed at that, rolling your eyes and looking away from Johnny. “I’m sorry! I really am! I know I shouldn’t have gone after Ali when I had you.”

“Had,” you pointed out, chuckling.

“Oh, just listen to me, will ya? I told you I’m sorry and I admit to my mistakes!”

“And lemme guess; you’re telling me all this just now because Ali once again rejected you?” Johnny stayed silent, a sheepish and guilty look on his face. You groaned, “For fucks sake, Johnny. Do you ever mean the things you say? This was a complete waste of my time.”

“I didn’t wanna lose you, Y/N.”

“If you’re still loving Ali, then you’ve already lost me.”

“Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious. You ghosted me! At least I tried to make things right between us instead of running away!”

“You really are an awful person, Johnny Lawrence. My friends were right about you-” you blurted out. Your throat ached as you tried to keep yourself together. “You’re really nothing but a player! There is no ‘us’. You don’t give a damn about me. You never did. So just drop the act and take me to school,” you whispered the last part, not wanting Johnny to hear your voice break. But he could easily see through your anger and sense the sadness in your voice.

You faced the opposite direction from Johnny. 

“Please look at me,” Johnny said after a while. You refused to glance his way, your eyes fixed on your fingers as you anxiously twiddled them together. The rage built up inside of you and the thoughts fueled by heartbreak, you kept to yourself. You wanted to be strong. You didn’t want to show Johnny how much he truly hurt you. But all that was gone when tears began to stream down your face. 

“Oh, Y/N, please don’t cry. I’m sorry, I-” Johnny trailed off, his voice cracking. He felt so lost. He had never been faced with a situation like this, even with Ali. And he’s never seen you cry before. You were always tough and strong in front of him, and to see you bawl like this, he thought it really must be that bad. 

“Don’t apologize unless you really mean it,” you sniffled. “Don’t make it worse than it already is.”

“Then I’m gonna keep apologizing because I mean it! With all my heart, Y/N, I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you cry. I can’t stand seeing you like this because of me.”

You turned your face slightly towards Johnny’s direction, curiosity and hope sparking inside of you. 

“I was told that you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. And even if you leave after this, I’m not gonna hide the way I feel, Y/N. I’ve never felt this way about a girl. Even with Ali. That’s why I was confused at first, but I knew I wanted to make it work with you.” Johnny squeezes your hand in his significantly bigger ones. “I hated to admit it at first, but I was and am smitten with you. You cross my mind everyday, and every song reminds me of you. And- And even if you shut me out after this.. If you go, I’ll stay. Even when you fall out of love, I just want you to know I’ll always have feelings for you.”

You didn’t know what to say after Johnny’s confession. You had all these emotions; betrayal, heartbreak, anger, confusion. They clouded your mind. You didn’t know how to properly react. 

“Do you really mean that?”

Johnny chuckles sadly, “I may be a douche, but I’m not a liar.”

You leaned back into your seat, replaying everything that just happened in your head. Johnny’s confessions, his declaration of love for you. You knew Johnny had a rough life and wasn’t one to be open about his feelings. And you also knew you loved that boy, even after the pain he caused you. Did you really wanna risk it and be with him? 

After being silent for a while, the uncomfortable stillness in the air prompted Johnny to speak up. 

“You- I- I’ll just.. I can take you home. Wherever-”

“No! Wait, don’t,” you placed your hand over Johnny’s before he got the chance to start the car. You locked eyes with him, your heart beat beginning to speed up suddenly. You were stuck on what to do at that moment. 

“Oh, fuck it,” you thought to yourself, and cupped Johnny’s face, bringing him closer to you. Now without the support of your hands, you were caught off balance and ended up stumbling atop Johnny. And in the heat of the moment, you crashed your lips to his. Okay, that was totally intentional. 

Johnny didn’t waste a second and immediately kissed you back, holding you steady above him. You really didn’t want to, but you had to break the kiss for air, giving Johnny the chance to let out breathy words.

“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much, baby.”

You pressed your forehead to his and wrapped your arms around his shoulders while you tangled your fingers in his hair. He cupped your face, placing gentle little kisses on your nose.

“Nothing bad is gonna happen to us, baby, I promise.”

[hxwks-gf]

｡･:*:･ﾟcrossing the line 

pro-hero deku x reader 

summary: you show up on deku’s doorstep in the middle of a stormy night with a fresh bruise on your cheek. he big mad and takes care of you 

genre: angst, fluff, mutual pining

warnings: domestic abuse, descriptions of abuse, descriptions of injuries, spicy elements if you squint, one swear word

w/c: 2.4k 

request: Hey there! I am feeling the sad and the numb and feeling like being rescued. So can I request Deku saving female reader from an abusive situation? (up to you whether they are in high school or adults) Like say a boyfriend, or now ex boyfriend, is all mad you've been spending with Deku. So you get in a fight and this now ex boyfriend has the audacity to slap/punch you. Either in front of Deku or like reader comes running to him with a dark bruise on their cheek.

a/n: this has some explicit depictions of the reader being hit by their partner, so if that’s triggering to you i would advise you not to read! it’s not super graphic, but i know it can make some people uncomfy. also, if you or you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence, here’s their hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) please be safe my lovelies! and enjoy some sweet and soft deku ♡♡

“Y/N…” Deku’s soft yet firm voice only served to force the tears in your eyes to spill over your cheeks against your will. “Who did this to you?” 

“Deku, it’s fine,” you said through trembling breaths, trying to regain at least some of your composure. “It’s not a big deal.” 

He stepped close to you. Too close, your mind screamed. This was exactly what your manipulative boyfriend had berated you for, this strange closeness between you and Izuku that could no longer be categorized as pure, simple friendship. You had danced along this line for months now, blissfully unaware of the fact that taking even a single step over it, accidental or not, could ruin you. However, as Deku’s warm breath fanned over your face, smelling of peppermint and comfort, you were so afraid. It was blindingly evident in your wavering breaths and trembling hands. 

The pads of his fingertips found themselves gently caressing the harsh bruise that mottled your upper cheekbone, his green eyes carefully gauging your reaction to see if you would stop him. You didn’t. You couldn’t. 

You melted into his touch and pushed your cheek further into his hand, wincing at the dull, aching pain of the bruise. Pretty soon his fingers were damp with your tears. 

“When?” he asked, and you recognized that dark, determined tone lurking just beyond the word. 

“Not long before I came here,” you replied. “He…he just lost control. That’s all.” 

“No, that’s not all.” Deku pulled his hand away and settled for holding one of yours, still shaking with fear. The callouses and scars that decorated his skin stood out against your own, a reminder that he too was no stranger to abuse. Albeit none of it came from a jealous, manipulative, disgusting boyfriend. “Was this the first time?” 

“Yes,” you whispered, swallowing the lump in your throat as you remembered the pure, unchecked rage and aggression that had bubbled in your boyfriend’s eyes just moments before he snapped. 

“You’re staying here tonight.” 

Fresh fear ripped through you and you violently shook your head, pulling your hand out of his grasp. You didn’t want to think of the consequences you would suffer if you didn’t return home that night. 

“I can’t,” you said, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I have to go back, you don’t understand—”  

“Hey, listen to me.” Deku reached up and cradled your cheeks, mindful of the bruise. “Y/N, you’re safe here. With me. I will never let that man come anywhere near you ever again, do you understand?” 

“What are you saying?” It was hard to focus on anything but his warm hands on your cheeks, his thumbs idly wiping the salty tears that never seemed to stop dripping down your face. 

Deku sighed and dropped his face. “I want you to stay with me until we can find another living situation for you. You aren’t going back to that apartment until we pick up your things.” His expression hardened. “You will never have to deal with that pathetic excuse for a man again.” 

Your lower lip trembled. “He won’t just let me go, Deku.” 

“Yes, he will.” 

“How do you know?” 

Deku ran his thumbs across your cheeks again. “Because if he doesn’t, I’ll make sure he does.” He slid his hands along your jaw, your neck, your shoulders. He was so warm, so inviting. He was a cozy cabin in the middle of a harsh and unforgiving blizzard, just waiting for you to open the door and let yourself inside. 

“Deku,” you whispered, looking up at him through tear-stained eyes. Your hand was on the metaphorical door handle of the cabin, all you had to do was turn it. “I…” 

His lips curved into a smile. “You don’t have to say anything, Y/N. Let’s get you inside.” 

“Wait, wait,” you said, reaching out to stop him. Your fingers curled around his bicep, strong and corded with muscle. “Deku, you really don’t understand—” Pinching the bridge of your nose before you could say anything else, you sighed. You wanted to scream at him that it was because of the budding feelings you had for him, the feelings that were forcefully pushing back against your inhibitions you had so carefully crafted, but no sound came out of your mouth. 

He just stood there, staring at you with those impossibly deep green eyes that reminded you of forests in spring, bright and soft all at once. “Y/N, is there something else? Something you’re not telling me?” 

Nothing ever gets past him, you thought to yourself. He was still so close. You could feel the warmth radiating from him. 

Your phone suddenly buzzed in your pocket, the familiar ringtone that you had assigned to your boyfriend breaking the strange, heavy silence. Your stomach dropped as you slid it from your pocket with shaking hands, barely able to read the little text bubble. 

“Don’t read that,” Deku murmured, and his hands were covering yours and gently pulling the phone out of your grasp. “Can you come inside, please? It’s going to rain again soon.” 

The bruise that decorated your cheek was starting to throb, as if somehow you were still connected to your boyfriend through it. Every thought you had of him only made it worse. 

“Okay,” you said softly, letting your head fall in defeat. 

Deku wasted no more time in ushering you into his apartment, mindful to double-lock the door behind you. The space was a little more cluttered than the last time you had been over, various piles of clothes strewn about the floor and boxes of takeout left forgotten on the kitchen counters. 

“S-sorry,” he sheepishly chuckled, clearing some of the clothes out of the hallway with a swift kick. “It’s been a busy few weeks since I last saw you.” 

You stood in the middle of the living room, waiting for him to tell you where to go or what to do. Everything felt...muddled. Your toes were up against that invisible line again, but this time they were curious. What was it like on the other side? Your eyes flicked up to watch Deku hurrying andto try and tidy his place for you, his eyebrows pulled together in adorable concentration. He noticed you staring and flashed you an embarrassed grin. 

One step. 

“Deku,” you said, wringing your hands. 

He stopped, his grin dissolving into a frown. “What’s wrong?” 

You licked your lips in anticipation, not sure how to approach the words that wanted to spill from them. All you wanted to do was have him wrap those strong, protective arms around you and never let go. “You don’t have to worry about cleaning,” you found yourself choking out, wincing at your own cowardice. “I’m really tired.” 

“Oh, right,” he said, dropping the box of takeout he held in his hands into the garbage. “Let me get you some clean clothes to sleep in, is that okay?” 

You knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you simply nodded. He disappeared into his bedroom for a moment and then reappeared with a pile of neatly folded clothes; a soft hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. When you took them, his fingertips brushed your knuckles and it sent a bolt of electricity up your arm and directly into your heart. He stood there and stared at you, hands still just-barely touching yours, until you cleared your throat. 

“I’m going to go change,” you said, averting your eyes and skirting around him to escape into his bedroom. Once inside, you quickly shut the door and threw the pile of clothes on the bed. You stared at his sheets, still rumpled and messy from whenever he last slept in it. You had no doubt it smelled of him, too. 

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” you said from the bedroom door, dressed in his hoodie and sweatpants. 

Deku glanced over his shoulder and his eyes traveled over your form, unhidden appreciation all over his face. However, his expression shifted into confusion as he processed your words. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “You’ll take my bed. I’d be a terrible friend if I made you sleep on the couch after what you went through.” 

“It’s fine,” you said, unable to tell him that you didn’t want to be completely surrounded by his scent for fear it would only catalyze your feelings that you still refused to acknowledge. “Please, just let me sleep out here, Deku. It’s okay.” 

“Alright,” he said slowly before glancing at the clock. “I have some work to finish at the agency tomorrow morning, but I’m going to take a half day and come home early. Will you be okay by yourself for a few hours?” 

“I think so,” you replied, absentmindedly running your fingers over your injured cheek. 

He stepped close to you again, breaking you out of your thoughts. Your breath hitched in your throat as he reached up and studied the bruise, fingertips tracing the mottled colors. He shook his head and sighed, dropping his hand. His touch lingered on your skin. 

“Get some rest,” he murmured, guiding you to the couch and placing a blanket over you. “I’ll see you in the morning.” 

You looked up at him standing over you, knowing that it would be so, so easy to twist your fingers in the collar of his shirt and bring his lips down to yours. But a heavy thunderclap shook the apartment and interrupted the thoughts that were stirring in your mind. You pulled the blanket up over your shoulders and pressed the uninjured side of your face into the pillow. 

“Goodnight,” you said, already feeling the sleep begin to pull you away from the waking world. 

Deku chuckled, giving the top of your head a gentle stroke, before disappearing into his bedroom and drifting off to sleep himself. 

A deafening thunderclap jerked you from sleep and you shot straight up on the couch, looking wildly around for any signs of your boyfriend. 

“Fuck,” you muttered to yourself, putting your face in your hands. The bruise throbbed incessantly. The rain pattered against the windows, and every few minutes a bolt of lightning would illuminate the apartment. 

Without thinking, you were slipping out from under the blanket and walking towards the bedroom. Stop, stop, stop, the little voice in your head started to shout as you placed your hand on the doorknob. 

“Shut up,” you growled at it, and you twisted your hand to take that glorious first step over that invisible line you had been dancing along for so many months. 

His bedroom was dark but you could make out his sleeping form underneath the comforter. You pulled it back and slid beneath it, already feeling his warmth stretching across the bed. 

“Y/N?” came his groggy voice. 

“It’s me,” you whispered, and he shifted so he was facing you. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You swallowed nervously. “I want to do something.” 

That got his attention. He lifted his head and blinked before saying, “What do you mean?” 

“Just stay still, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Your heart melted at the softness of his voice. Before you could stop yourself, you scooted close enough to him that you could smell his sweet breath again, and you hesitantly placed a palm on his cheek. 

“Y/N,” he whispered. 

“And don’t talk,” you whispered back, bringing your face just centimeters away from his. His hair was soft at the ends of your fingers as you held his cheek, and then you slowly, slowly brushed your lips over his in the softest way possible, so soft that you were sure you had imagined it. 

But when the breath he had been holding exhaled over your mouth, you realized you had not imagined it and you had, in fact, just kissed Izuku Midoriya in his bed, in the middle of a thunderstorm. 

You pulled back and took a trembling breath, still feeling the lingering touch of his lips. He was staring at you with wide eyes and a slack jaw, no words coming out of his open mouth. A breath of silence passed between you. 

Before you knew it, his hands were grasping at any part of you that was available to him and pulling you flush against his body. He placed his lips against yours again, but this time it was like a dam had broken and he was spilling out every single missed opportunity into the kiss. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think, the only thought you had in your brain was of him. 

You opened wider for him and he gasped into your mouth, fingers gripping your hips so hard you knew it would leave bruises. 

“Stop,” he breathlessly whispered against your mouth. “This...this isn’t how I thought our first kiss would go—” 

“You’ve thought about kissing me?” 

Deku pulled away and looked at you, the softness returning to his eyes. “Of course I have.” 

You were already craving more of him, now that you had gotten a taste. As you leaned in for another kiss, he gently stopped you. 

“What’s wrong?” you asked, unable to mask the nervousness in your voice. 

“I want to take this slow,” he murmured, running a hand along the side of your face. “I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you and your….current situation. I want to give you the time and space to properly heal and process what you’re going through.” 

Is this what a healthy partner does? you thought to yourself as you stared at him. Weird. 

“Alright, fair enough,” you finally said, laying back down beside him. Deku automatically wrapped an arm around your shoulder and brought you into his chest, just like you had pined for just hours earlier. He pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to kiss you,” he said into your hair, and your eyes fluttered closed. 

“I want to do it again soon,” you said, smiling into his chest. 

His chuckle rumbled through you and put you at an ease you didn’t think existed. The line you had crossed was long gone now, and you would never think about it again. As his arm tightened around you and the rain continued to pour outside, you felt safe for the first time in a very long time. The apprehensiveness of the future still festered in the back of your mind as you lay there and listened to the rain. 

But for now, with his arms keeping you safe from the world, it was enough. 

♡ 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚐: @greatbiscuitsword @a-monsters-love @jennammae @heydae20 @unlasting @kuurechr @erilerichan 

𝚓𝚘𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝!

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[favefandomimagines]

Queen of Mean 2 (p.p.)

Summary: it takes some wise words to make you realize that maybe Peter is the only person who can fix you.

AN: HERE IT IS!! part 2!!! the fact that people even wanted a part 2 has me over the moon and makes me v happy! so please enjoy and hopefully i met the expectations!!! v long and v angsty but tbh with me social distancing, i’m always angsty. 

I also made MJ super understanding because girl power is important and i feel like she’s not the type of girl to be all ‘i hate you, you stole my boyfriend.’ When she sees two people are meant to be she won’t stand in the way of that.

It had been a few weeks since what happened between you and Peter on the roof top. You made good on your promise and stayed out of his way and left him alone.

But you stopped going to school. You were spiraling down a dark hole and you weren’t sure if you could crawl out of it. After all, you dug it yourself.

Your friends noticed and sent numerous texts and phone calls, asking where you were. It wasn’t like you to skip school. But you didn’t want to go and have to face Peter and MJ.

You sat at home in your apartment, using your powers for small minuscule things, like you and Wanda used to do when you were on lockdown at the Avenger’s facility.

Peter immediately noticed your absence at school. Ned would be talking about the newest Star Wars lego set he got, while Peter was waiting for you to show up at your locker. But you never did.

Or when he’d be at lunch with MJ and Ned and he would be staring at your lunch table but you never showed up.

MJ could tell something was wrong with him and decided to ask him about it. It wasn’t like her to be subtle.

“What’s going on with you?” She asked him. “W-What do you mean?” He stammered. “You’ve been acting weird for weeks. Staring at nothing like you’re waiting for-“ MJ started before dropping herself.

As she was speaking, her brain connected the dots. Peter was waiting for you. “It’s about Y/N isn’t it? You’re waiting for her to show up?” She questioned.

Peter and Ned shared a look before Ned got up from the table to let the couple talk.

“Y/N, isn’t doing so great. We, uh, had a run in a few weeks ago and she wasn’t herself. Somethings wrong with her.” Peter explained. “What do you mean?” MJ further pushed.

Peter knew he had to tell MJ why you weren’t around anymore. Why you all of a sudden changed your entire personality in a blink of an eye. He had to tell her it was because of him.

The story he told MJ about your breakup was that the two of you drifted apart. Losing Tony was too much for him and you were battling your own demons. Peter never told MJ you broke up because of her.

MJ was a feminist and knew that no girl should question her self worth because her boyfriend broke up with her for another girl. A mind set like that wasn’t healthy for a teenage girl.

“When Y/N and I broke up, it wasn’t because we drifted apart. It was because of you. I broke up with her because I had feelings for you. Then she changed. She became mean and cruel and she started to mess up my patrolling just to get to me. That night on the roof, something snapped. And I think it was because of me.” Peter explained.

MJ looked at the boy and everything became clear to her. He used had. Past tense. Which meant he realized he made a mistake picking her.

“And it is because of you. Peter, a teenage girl’s mind can be fragile enough as it is, let alone a girl who has mutated powers. Powers she got from being kidnapped and powers she got before she watched her older brother die in front of her. You should know better than anyone how sensitive Y/N. I mean, do you know how many times she didn’t want to hang out with me because of how often she thought of her brother?” MJ replied.

The truth was, Peter didn’t know. He didn’t think anything of it when you said you weren’t feeling well and couldn’t hang out. He didn’t even see the signs of how close you were to losing it.

“You were the straw that broke the camel’s back. She had every reason to not keep it together but she had you. Until you broke up with her.” MJ added. “And I know you want to get back together with her. And it’s okay. I get it. The two of you were epic and I can’t think of two people who are more meant to be than you and Y/N.” She finished.

“You’re not mad?” Peter asked. “I’m mad that you couldn’t see how much she was hurting. She was there for you after Tony Stark died and every day after that. He was like a father to her just as much as he was to you. Did you ask her how she was doing?” MJ answered.

Peter sat there, swearing that he’s asked you how you’ve been after losing Tony. But he came up short. Realizing that he never asked you how you were doing.

“The fact that you can’t answer that means you’re a big reason as to why she’s not herself.” MJ told him. “I’m a terrible person.” Peter muttered. “That’s the thing, Peter. You’re not a terrible person. Sometimes you just lose track.” She told him.

“Y/N is never going to speak to me again. I’ve tried calling, she sends me to voicemail. Said she doesn’t deserve to be forgiven.” Peter said.

MJ saw the guilt and sadness in his face and realized that she had to be the one to talk to you. You were close friends before everything went downhill and she owed you that much.

—

You were wrapped up in a blanket, sitting on your couch when there was a knock at your door.

With furrowed brows, you got up to answer. You didn’t know who would be knocking, aside from the landlord bringing you your mail.

You opened the door and your face fell at the sight of MJ standing there. “M-MJ, what are you doing here?” You asked.

“I came to talk to you.” She answered. You were hesitant for a moment but let her in anyways. “It’s about Peter.” She started. “Look, MJ,” You began before she stopped you.

“He’s miserable without you. He worries constantly and he told me everything. About the breakup and the night on the roof. He really is sorry.” She said. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I was awful.” You said. “You were grieving. Trying to adjust to a new normal without one of the most important people in your life. He understands.” MJ rebutted.

You sat down in defeat and ran your hands through your hair. “But he’s with you now.” You said. “He’s not. Not anymore. The two of you were each other’s epic love. Who am I to stand in the way of that?” MJ said. “But you must really like him.” You said quietly. “Maybe. But he would have never been all in with me because of how much he loves you. And he needs you, Y/N. I know you’re hurting. I’ve known for a while and Peter is so worried about helping total strangers, he lost sight of who was the most important; you.” MJ told you. 

“I know you think you don’t deserve to be forgiven but you do. You’ve been going through a lot and it’s okay to not be okay all the time.” She added. 

By that point of the conversation, you had silent tears streaming down your face. 

“I just don’t want him to throw me away again.” You said quietly. MJ really felt for you and of course she had no idea what you were going through but she knew you needed a friend. 

MJ hugged you tightly and you gladly hugged her back, really needing someone in that moment. “Peter loves you, Y/N. And he really wants you back.” She said to you. 

The two of you sat like that for a moment. The affection from someone who used to be your closest friend, helping you climb out of that hole. 

__

Peter was not having a good night. He had been bruised and beaten by numerous thieves and muggers and he was just off his game. Mainly because thinking about you threw him off. 

He rested up on a fire escape, at least fifteen stories high, when he felt the presence of someone next to him. 

“Hey, Parker.” You greeted. Peter saw you and his posture straightened and his mouth went slightly agape. “Y-Y/N, wha-why are you here?” He stammered. 

“I, uh, thought we should talk. About everything.” You answered. “I am so sorry. For everything. The way I broke up with you, being the reason you became so mean and not noticing just how much you were hurting all this time.” He told you quickly. “I should be the one apologizing. For being terrible to you at school and trying to make you fail at being Spider-Man. I just, I don’t know, I was hurt and angry and I didn’t know what to do or how to make it stop. So I thought, why stop?” You said. 

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Y/N. I was so caught up on my own stuff that I didn’t bother to ask how you were doing. I feel awful because you don’t do that to someone you love.” Peter said. 

You were fiddling with your fingers, thinking about what you should do. Do you go back to Peter and reopen those wounds and expose yourself to new ones? Or do you decide you needed to be alone? 

“I just, I can’t go through you leaving again. I lost so many people and I can’t lose you too. Not again.” You spoke. “I will never make that mistake again. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I can’t lose you.” He told you. 

“And believe me when I say I forgive you for what you did. I was the reason for it and you had every right to react the way you did.” He added. “I know. MJ talked to me today. That’s why I’m here.” You replied. “She did?” Peter questioned, shocked to hear his ex girlfriend went to talk to you. 

“I love you, Peter. I always have but when we were together, you’d be there physically but you were never all there. And I need you to be there.” You said. 

It was taking a lot for you to be so vulnerable and upfront about your feelings, especially when you were admitting you needed help. 

“I need your help, Peter because Wanda isn’t here and no one else knows what I’ve been going through like you do.” You added. 

Peter could see it was a big deal for you to admit what you were saying. You weren’t one to express how you felt, that being a factor in your mutated breakdown. 

He walked towards you and slowly reached for your hands, afraid you’d reject him just like that night on the roof. 

“I am not going anywhere. Not again.” He told you softly. “You’re officially stuck with me.” Peter added, causing you to smile softly. 

Peter smiled because you were smiling and that was something he hadn’t seen in so long. “What?” You questioned. “I haven’t seen you smile like that in a while. I missed it.” He explained. 

That caused your smile to grow before you leaned in a pressed a gentle kiss on Peter’s cheek. But before you could pull all the way back, Peter let go of your hands and cupped your face in his and kissed you deeply. 

You were taken aback by that action, kissing Peter something you learned to live without, but soon melted into it. It was a deep and passionate kiss but once you tasted blood, you pushed him away. 

Getting a good look at his face, you noticed the blood coming from his nose and the busted lip. “What the hell happened to you?” You asked. “It hasn’t been a good night.” Peter answered. 

You examined his face before making him lean against the fire escape railing before beginning to clean up his wounds. “Y/N, how have you been holding up? Tell me everything.” Peter asked. 

You smiled giddily before going into a long explanation of how you’ve really been doing. And the two of you stayed up all night, Peter just being there for you. 

Tag List: @tommysparker​ @eridanuswave @lets--be-honest @averyfosterthoughts @juliebean247​ @ixchel-9275​ @watson-emma​ @peterbparkerth​ @fckingchile​ 

[purplesurveys]

1248

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say?  I feel like I’ve answered a similar situation recently, but I would assume it was a drunk text or wrong text, inform them about it, and move on.

Do you play video games?  Nah. I do feel a sort of connection of video games since I grew up surrounded by them, though; but I’m more of a watcher than anything. I like watching playthroughs of video games I’ll never play. Do you spend a lot of time with family?  No. We used to, back when the quarantine was still a relatively new thing – we hung out in the living room all the time. But now that we’ve settled in this new normal, we’re back to our normal routines and I usually like staying in my room.

Is your house more than two stories tall?  Technically, yes. We have a rooftop that serves as the ‘third’ floor.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you?  My ex and I never hit one another; that’s a gigantic red flag even I would notice, considering I ignored most of the ones I saw hahaha.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!)  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to answer this question directly, but I like my generosity. I’m not sure if I can call it attractive, though. But if we were focusing on physical features, I like my smile.

What color is your hairbrush/comb?  Pink.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm?  My dad splurged on chips in his last grocery run so we actually have quite a lot of junk food in the pantry at the moment. He also bought several packs of cookie sandwiches, wafers, sunflower seeds, and garlic-flavored peanuts.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive?  Neither.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?  No, she’s just a good friend of mine.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you?  I guess I don’t, because I’m not even aware of them.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female?  Guy. It was another reporter, so I just ignored it and luckily he didn’t PM me just to ask to add him back, which others have already done. I really hate when work people try to make their way into my personal accounts.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you?  My parents, especially when they are rude to service crew. Gen X-ers are impeccably talented at that, apparently.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate?  Around two or three weeks ago when I had dinner at Angela’s. Her dad gave me a bar of Crunch so I can have something sweet after our meal.

Do you play any games on Facebook?  No, I never did hop on that trend.

What would you like to get a degree in?  I wanted a degree in journalism, and graduated with such. At the end of my college stint I didn’t want to pursue it anymore, but I pushed through with it anyway because it was too much of a hassle to shift and start all over.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Technically not, because I stay up until the middle of the night anyway. It’s been a while since I fell asleep anywhere between 8 to 10 PM.

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game?  Watch a show.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater?  I don’t like either; I get fries instead.

What genre of films do you like the best?  Drama.

How many bank accounts do you have?  Two but I haven’t been using the other one in months. That was the bank account I initially opened when I first started ~adulting~ but when I got employed I was required to enroll in this other specific bank, so that’s what I mainly use now.

Have you ever had the flu?  Not really. I just get the occasional fever that pop out of nowhere.

What is your goal for the next few months?  Start saving FOR REAL, and also prioritizing furniture over merch for a while so I can finally fix up my room, which is quickly starting to look and feel like just a warehouse and not very homey at all.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life?  Nope.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience.  Yeah, it was from barbecue that apparently went bad, even though it tasted nothing of the sort. I woke up at 3 AM sweating profusely and with the most excruciating stomachache; I was feeling hot, cold, and nauseous all at the same time, and it probably lasted for like an hour or so.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for?  Sealed albums and my pets’ vet expenses.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex.  Charming and smart.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it?  It felt nice to help people.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? Good question; I’ve never encountered this before. I would let her live a more comfortable, privileged life, where she didn’t have to staple her shoes to keep them closed or have to choose between eating at a fast food restaurant or being able to commute back home.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I’m not sure, actually. Everyone’s always slightly taller than me.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you?  I haven’t.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see?  Tumblr, I guess? My survey blog isn’t for any irls to see.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping?  I don’t really do either often, but I’ll go with mopping.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious?  Not for me.

Did you pull a senior prank?  No, that’s not a thing here. Did you graduate?  Yeah, elementary, high school, and college.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship?  Nope.

What was the last song you listened to?  It’s a song called Epiphany.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision?  Not ever since I was like 9 lol.

Is fashion one of your interests?  I’m way more interested in it now for sure, mostly because the celebrities I’m into these days put a lot of effort when it comes to their style; so it makes me more aware of the trends that come and go, as well.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone?  I’m keeping it as a possibility, but it’s not a priority for me now.

Do you care what people think?  To an extent, I would say. My life doesn’t depend on it, though.

Is acting something you enjoy?  Never been.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained?  Do you mean a thing or a body part? Anyway, I’ll answer both. The last thing I broke was my BTS Mic Drop pen of V looooooooooool the figurine came off the pen :(( It was pretty cheap though so I’m fine with it; I can always get another one. Last body part I sprained was my ankle, when I had a bad fall a couple of years ago.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours?  Either hasn’t happened.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language?  I don’t think so.

Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at?  Angela’s. Also JM’s, just because their family doesn’t hover and that vibe can sometimes be nice whenever I’m at someone else’s place.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you?  Never.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? Not as a very young kid, but I took up table tennis starting when I was 12. Did you ever watch the show Full House?  Nope.

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry?  Now that’s just delusional haha. I’m pretty obsessed with some celebrities, that much I can admit; but thinking of them in the context of marriage is so many steps overboard.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture?  No. I could, but I am scared of fire and will probably just think of other ways to express my anger, like tearing up the photograph. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on?  Total length was probably like 3 hours. I haven’t gone too far when it comes to hiking.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo?  Not interested.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Hans.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes?  My mom tried it once in her life, I think. My dad has never smoked.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it?  “Hope right here!”

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want.  Anything that’s supposed to roam freely in the wild, like squirrels.

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller?  Taller, since I’m already quite pint-sized to begin with lol.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. < Agree, especially with the eras. Childhood photos are always fun to look at, but I have had to delete a CHUNK of photos from years ranging from 2014 to 2020 because I’ve lost a handful of friends from that period.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people?  It’s hard to for the most part, but I’ve noticed very few people people really don’t. Most of the time it’s bullshit though.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in?  That it’s pretty close to the metro.

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during?  Hmm, I prefer TV shows if I’m craving comedy.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during?  Life Is Beautiful.

What’s your favorite restaurant?  Omakase for my sushi fix; School Tteokbokki if I want Korean; Yabu if I’m looking for a generous rice meal.

Is there a dessert you don’t like?  Anything with fruits.

Favorite album?  After Laughter by Paramore.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it?  I can name authors instead of books – John Green and Haruki Murakami.

Underwater or outer space?  Outer space.

Dogs or cats?  Dogs.

Kittens or puppies?  Puppies.

Bird watching or whale watching?  Whale watching. I don’t get to be in the water as much, so I would jump at the opportunity.

What is your spirit animal?  I dunno if I have one but let’s just go with dog and elephant, I guess? They’re my favorites.

What was your best subject in school?  History.

What was your worst subject in school?  Chemistry.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school?  Don’t waste your time.

Who is your fashion icon?  Audrey Hepburn.

Diamonds or pearls?  Diamonds.

What color dress did you wear to prom?  For my own prom it was cream-colored/beige. When I went to Mike’s ball, I went with a royal blue gown.

What’s your favorite plot-twist?  I don’t think I’ve found my favorite yet.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?  Not actively.

Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?  I dunno...road rage, maybe?

Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad?  It’s very likely.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out?  Sometime in the last week.

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? No thanks.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call?  Nope.

Who are you closest to?  Angela.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience?  No, all the ones I’ve been to have been amazing experiences.

Are you currently sad about anything?  Not really. I can’t complain.

Have you had any form of exercise today?  Nah.

Can you handle blood?  Nope, I will feel faint if I see it 100%.

Has any place hired you underage for a job?  No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon?  I haven’t.

Are you currently searching for a job?  No, I like the one I have.

Does eating breakfast make you sick?  No?

[ibringyouasong89]

Self-Awareness Time, Part One:

So I’m reading this article one day, (see article here: https://psych2go.net/6-signs-youll-be-single-forever/), and realize how some of this is true, but also some of it is bullshit. Spoiler Alert: I haven’t had a boyfriend since I was 18.  Is it because I haven’t wanted to be with someone, or be in a relationship, since that one ended? Quite the contrary, actually. I have dreamed, since I was a small child, of a perfect soulmate for me, and that it would be a Disney-movie-ending come true for the rest of my life. Having my first (and since then, only) boyfriend break up with me (so he could go out with my ex-best friend, who in turn, dumped her boyfriend of three years - who was my childhood friend from elementary school - in order to be with him; it was dramatic, stupid, and messy, i.e. we were teenagers who thought they knew themselves but didn’t have a clue) did not, in fact, deter those dreams at all. The problem is that I didn’t learn to love myself. I learned to move on, which is always wonderful, but I didn’t hold myself in any higher esteem than I had before, and while I was with him. It wasn’t a reflection on being with him, but more or less, a reflection of myself and how I saw myself, based on my childhood and certain experiences. Fast forward a couple of years later: my parents are divorced, my father is dead, my childhood friends have disappeared out of my life for the most part, I live with my mother and grandfather (who was close to dying himself), and I am now living in a different state, faraway from everything I know and love and hate everything about this new place. I hated (and still do, for many of these points) the polluted environment, I hated the lack of nature (I moved to a metropolitan-region within the realm of a major city), I hated how crowded it is, I hated how everyone lives on top of one another; I hate the noise, the traffic, and most of all, I hated how alien and out of place I feel. I knew I didn’t belong, but because of finances, and having an ineffective bachelor’s degree (that didn’t come with a lifetime guarantee of having a career, as promised by my parents and elder generations. Though it did come with the nice guarantee of student loans), I was unable to move anywhere else. I was unable to be independent, financially or otherwise, and could do nothing to make my dreams a reality or to improve my life. In short, I was stuck. And hating every minute of it, along with myself. To be fair, I wasn’t an emotionally healthy person to start off with - but I mean, who is by the time they’re 23, 24 years old, and a culminating reflection of time, pressure, past abuse, parental issues, trust issues, abandonment issues, lack of socializing/being ostracized for being different, and self-worth and self-love issues? No one, and I mean, NO ONE, is taught how to love themselves, completely, as a child. I don’t care who raised you or where you grew up. This is a fundamental truth and fact. But I met someone. Lo and behold, there came this divine gift, one day, of someone who was just like me! He didn’t have the same issues as I, but he understood in a general sense (as any individual who has a certain degree of sympathy and empathy can do), and made me feel seen (even if I hated it at times). Someone who, in all honesty, has fundamentally changed me forever. And to think I met him at my job! (i.e. retail). This person...well, I thought he might’ve been THE ONE. I was really, REALLY in love with him. More so than I ever thought I could be with someone.  Our connection was real and based on emotional, mental, and spiritual intimacy (there was none of the physical, which was probably for the best, in the end), and I had never loved anybody before, in the entire history of being connected to family and friends, the way I had loved him. I thought he was truly something special - a gift from the universe that not only allowed to experience this once-in-a-lifetime kind of love, but also because of how OBVIOUS it was that we were meant for each other. (I was so arrogant back then and admit it heartily now). Well, suffice to say, it didn’t end in rainbows-and-sunshine-for-years-to-come. He had already been entering a relationship when I met him, while also having his heart broken by another girl. As the saying goes: wrong place and time. While I was busy pining over him and fantasizing about us being together romantically (after building this incredible connection and deep friendship), he was happily living his life and enjoying his relationship...even though, for a time, he went out of his way to spend time with me and deepen our emotional intimacy further. He told me things about himself, and his life, that he swore he had never told another human being before in his life. But it all came to a grinding halt one day - out of the blue - when he severed our connection with all of the swiftness and severity of a well-placed swing from a sharpened blade. Later he would confess that it wasn’t intentional - it was because he was busy cutting other people out of his life and I got caught up in the “crossfires” of it all via social media and the like *insert eyeroll here* - but that he had also been conscious of my burgeoning feelings for him, and felt “flattered” that I had come to regard him so greatly. He promised to re-open the lines of communication between us again and to be a better friend. Spoiler Alert Part Two: None of these promises were fulfilled. Now, some of you (or whoever reads this long-ass personal post) might say “Well, maybe in knowing about your feelings, THAT was why he didn’t bother talking to you anymore. It made him uncomfortable, especially since he was in a relationship with someone else. He just wanted to make a clean break.” To be completely honest, I was aware of that possibility from the get-go. The problem is that he claimed (during this period of seeking me out and spending quality time with me) his relationship with his girlfriend was “casual.” That he was more than aware that he was her first boyfriend, but that he knew it wouldn’t last. In knowing that, he still pursued a relationship with that girl (though his self-prophecy did come to pass...three years later). Now, there were never any promises made about entering a relationship with ME, as some of you may point out as well. I agree. There are, and never will be, any guarantees when it comes to the heart. Someone who learns to love another is quite capable of also learning how to un-love that same individual, at any time. And hatred, as many know, is not the opposite of love; apathy is its true counterpart.

No, what was truly hurtful was that he knew that truth, honesty, compassion, consideration, and genuineness were core values of mine. Values that I thought he shared...but turned out to be lies when he revealed his regard, or lack-there-of, for me in the end. When he did not confront me over my feelings for him and instead played ignorant for the sake of his own happiness. When he promised that this did not interfere with his ability to be my friend, even after confessing said romantic intentions to him, and probably lying about it all the same. He knew of my past, my issues, and had probably guessed at my level of loneliness and knew about my lack of friends since moving away from my hometown...and didn’t think twice of ditching me, nor of how his sudden “ignorance” about our bond would effect my feelings. That being “one of the guys” was my true status - despite the fact that I have breasts, a vagina, lack a penis, and had never acted in a “masculine way” around him (aside from being intelligent, having common sense, being interested in comic books, music, and movies, having a deep appreciation for classic muscle cars, and a biting sense of sarcasm); i.e. no hanging out in bars with him and his male friends, no doing stupid shit for giggles, no running around in the middle of the night to each other’s houses to smoke pot and drink in the basement, not being into sports and wrestling, recalling the same stupid stories from high school and retelling them, over and over again, along with the same stupid jokes, etc...And I’m not judging any female (or person) who does DO this, or enjoy these things! I’m just simply describing how he, and his friends, acted and what their similar interests are. I was “friend-zoned” (which is a ridiculous phrase, but I can’t think of anything else to describe it as), but was NOT treated like a friend any longer. I was treated like a stranger or an acquaintance that you remember vaguely seeing in the hallways and cafeteria when you attend your high school reunion (that guy who makes you go “Oh, *Insert Name Here*! Omg! How are you?! Wow, it’s been a while! Great to see you lost all that weight! So uh...how’s things?”). In short: I was being gas-lit. For anyone who has experienced this, you have my deepest sympathies and my ear and shoulder, whenever you would like. Of course part of the blame falls on me too: for treating romantic love like a drug I couldn’t live without, for depending on someone too much for my happiness, and for allowing myself to be treated as someone who is less than worthy of real love, respect, consideration, kindness, compassion, and honest, open communication.

So, not only did this guy break my heart, but he also threw me, and our friendship, away like it all meant nothing. It became obvious then that I, and our bond, had never mattered to him at all.  The worst part is that he continued to flirt with me, stringing me along (unknowingly or not), while also maintaining this enforced distance! (Which is also COMPLETELY WRONG TO DO TO ANYONE!) In truth, I think he’s an unaware narcissist who doesn’t realize, on an unconscious level, how manipulative he can really be. It’s sad. But I know, without wishing for it or egging the universe on, that there is a lesson waiting for him in the wings of the cosmos that will enable him to truly understand the lows, and highs, of true personal awareness (if it should come to pass - anything is possible, in any way, shape, or form). But back to the point: In conclusion, my soul was shattered. My heart was a destroyed. I fell into a depression based, not only on this heartbreak, but also my heart being broken by ME. I was so unhappy with everything going on, and not, in my life and it all felt so hopeless and pointless. I could see no path forward, no future for myself, that didn’t result either in me being unhappy or being unstuck. (Hell, even writing about all of this is allowing the phantom pains to rise from their graves in my heart, which makes me realize how much healing, and self-love, I still have to gain). This, however, was the beginning of my awakening for me.

It dawned on me like the rising sun within me that I really SHOULDN’T put stock into having people depended upon so much to MAKE me happy. I should be making MYSELF happy. But then the deepest question, out of the pit of darkness within my soul, arose: Why WASN’T I happy with myself?

[vcg73]

Free Kurt - Past Kurt

I wrote one extra story for the Free Kurt, anti-proposal challenge, but it’s a little different. 😊

~*~*~*~*~

“What are you wearing?”

Kurt jumped at the sound of a young and judgmental voice speaking directly in his ear.

He was standing on a wide marble step within the hallowed halls of Dalton Academy, surrounded by dozens of friends, acquaintances, and strangers from the assorted western Ohio high schools that Blaine had brought here today to witness his proposal. A proposal that was currently proceeding from the step below his own, and which Kurt was feeling increasingly pressured to accept in spite of his own very real misgivings.

And while it was a very distracting scene, he had not noticed anyone sneaking up behind him. He turned his head slightly, attempting to pay attention to Blaine’s words while simultaneously taking a quick peripheral peek over his right shoulder.

Kurt nearly jumped out of his skin when the voice spoke again, this time right next to him on the left. “Wait, are we getting proposed to?”

Whipping his head to the left, Kurt frowned. Who was that? He didn’t see anyone.

Blaine faltered a little, apparently noticing his distraction. “Kurt?” he mumbled, hazel eyes darting about as his intended frowned and looked everywhere but at him. “What are you doing?”

“Don’t you hear that?” he asked.

“I’m very good looking in the future!” the voice observed, sounding pleased. “Tall too!  But that suit has got to go. Peacock blue brocade can be beautiful if used sparingly. Maybe a vest or a jacket against an all black suit. Though on second thought that might make it look like you were about to deal roulette in Vegas. But an entire suit?  And with a violet silk shirt to contrast? I know this is just a dream, otherwise I wouldn’t be watching myself, but what has happened to my fashion sense since I got old?”

The young voice was so utterly horrified that Kurt almost laughed in spite of the bizarre circumstance. For he recognized the speaker now. What was even stranger, he remembered now with a startling burst of clarity, that he had had this very dream when he was about 14 years old. Himself standing in what he had thought was a fairy tale palace, watching himself be proposed to by Prince Charming.

Had it not been a dream? For he did recall suddenly that it had occurred following a whack to the head brought about after one of the goon squad, who had already started targeting him in middle school, had aimed badly when shoving Kurt into a locker.  Kurt had told his dad that he’d been hit with a dodge ball during P.E.  His dad had skeptically bought it, not able to prove otherwise, but Kurt had been given a few days off of school that week, and he remembered being watched like a hawk the whole time.

He also remembered having a lot of strange half-remembered dreams that he had written off to concussion.

A little shiver went down his spine. Surely it was not possible that he had done some kind of astral time travel thing. Wasn’t that just a little too sci-fi for the real world?

And yet, he could not deny the voice that was apparently only in his own ears at this moment. For nobody else was reacting as if they heard a young teenager passing judgment on this whole affair.

“Actually, forget our fashion taste. What the hell is he wearing?”

Kurt bit down a smirk. He had forgotten how dramatically fond of italics he had been as a kid. But he focused, really focused for the first time, on that hideous banana yellow creation that Blaine had chosen, and had to give his alter ego a point on it. No doubt Blaine had wanted something that would force every eye onto him. It wasn’t like he had ever been able to stand not having 100% of the attention in any room turned his way.

Blinking, Kurt wondered where that harsh thought had come from. Sure, it was true, but shouldn’t his thoughts be focused toward how romantic this all was? Apparently listening to the point of view of his less inhibited younger self was sparking a little rebellion inside of him.

“He’s handsome, our boyfriend,” the young voice observed in a clinical tone that made his older self want to laugh. He remembered using it when deciding between two equally perfect outfits, trying to decide which would have more of a ‘wow’ factor. “But his fashion taste is terrible and I don’t like the hair. That slicked back Elvis retro thing is so 1995. It also makes him look like he’s pushing 30. Wait. Is he older than us? How old are we?  Are we 30?”

That age must seem ancient to a boy of 14, Kurt supposed. His conscience prickled at the remembrance of his own life plan having been to find someone and become husbands or domestic partners, depending on what the law dictated so far in the future, with him by 30. Before that, he had always expected to live a life of fashionable single fabulosity, with boyfriends by the dozen, while he conquered the career of his choice. It had not been until high school, developing his first bad crush on Finn Hudson, being swamped with insistent hormones, and being constantly surrounded by relationships, that he had started longing for a commitment. Not because he knew what to do with one then, but because he had hated being the only person who did not even have the prospect of a real relationship.

He knew better than that now. So why was he still so determined to do something he knew in his gut that he was not ready for? Even if their ‘teenage dream’ had been perfect, was he really willing to enter into a lifelong commitment before he even hit 20?

Apparently unaware of his thoughts, the voice of his young observer continued with relentless interest. “Oh, my god. Is that Rachel? Tell me you are not thinking of letting Rachel Berry be your attendant. She’s the most obnoxious girl in school!  And she’s dressed better than you! Maybe this is actually a nightmare. Oh, hey, there’s Dad. Hi, Dad!”

Kurt looked at his father, looking slightly confused a few steps below where he stood just behind Will Schuester. Burt looked around surreptitiously, as if he had heard the call, but knew it was not possible for it to be there.

“If he’s here at our proposal then he knows about us!” invisible Kurt said happily. “Did we come out to him, and he’s happy for us?”

The sound of a dreamy sigh made Kurt’s eyes unexpectedly prickle with tears. How well he remembered that feeling. That co-mingling of fear, dread, and hope that had gripped him every time he had considered biting the bullet, and telling his father that he was gay. Of course he would have thought he was dreaming all this, seeing his father in his every day attire in a place like this, while they were both surrounded by the glitter and formality of dozens of smiling peers. Friends were another thing that young Kurt had never been sure he would actually experience in real life.

“If this is a dream, does that mean Mom is here too?” the invisible speaker asked, this note of longing in his young voice going straight to Kurt’s heart. He had heard that question deep inside himself for so many years. The small childish part of him that had never entirely accepted that someone as wonderful, fun-loving, and tenderly understanding as his beautiful mother could just be snuffed out of his world after only eight short years.

“No,” he said softly. He knew suddenly that if his mother had been here, she never would have approved of this. She had held the safety and happiness of her only child as a sacred trust from the day he was born until her very last day on Earth. He had always been able to talk to her about anything, and this would have been no different.  Mom never would have allowed him to compromise his heart and his future for a dream that he already knew did not live up to reality. “I’m sorry.”

He had been speaking to past-Kurt and to his mother, but when he said the words, it caused Blaine to stop mid-sentence with a look of shock. “What do you mean, no.”

Kurt blinked. Suddenly he knew that while he had not meant those words for Blaine, a part of him had actually wanted to say them out loud ever since he walked in the building.

“Kurt, what are you doing?” Blaine said, his voice more annoyed now as Kurt brushed past him to walk down a few steps, looking around at the crowd and realizing for the first time how few of these people he actually knew. “You’re embarrassing me!  I don’t what you’re looking for, but it doesn’t matter. Can we just get on with this thing?”

Kurt turned to look at him, frowning at the irritated question.

“This thing?” he repeated, eyes narrowing. “You mean the thing where I’m missing my flight home so my ex-boyfriend who’s still in high school can ask me to agree to spend the rest of my life with him, even though we’ve only been casually back together as a couple for a couple of days? The thing where we’re both supposed to agree to love and be faithful to one another forever? That thing?”

Apparently he had not entirely lost his love of italics after all. His tone was biting, the reminder of his own youthful hopes and expectations making him feel angry and betrayed all over again.  

Instead of understanding, Blaine actually rolled his eyes. “Not that again. I told you, I thought we were over when that happened! And didn’t I promise I would never ever do it again? Isn’t that enough? Why can’t you just get over it?  It’s not like it meant anything, Kurt.”

That injured way he said Kurt’s voice, the way that usually deflated whatever outrage Kurt felt and caused him to guiltily give in, enraged him this time.

“No, Blaine. I can’t just get over it. Because we weren’t anywhere near over when it happened, and you know it. It’s called a long distance relationship, and what you did was horrible. Our being boyfriends meant everything to me. The fact that you could throw what we had away on a stranger after just a few weeks apart, because I couldn’t devote all of my attention to you while I was starting a new life in a different state? That meant something to me. It meant that I couldn’t trust you anymore. I don’t trust you, and I can’t forget that happened, so I guess I was wrong about being able to forgive it too. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I don’t want to spend my whole life with a guy that I don’t believe will keep a vow to honor and cherish me.”

Blaine sputtered. “But, but I . . . what about all this?” He gestured frantically around them as if he could not conceive of such a scene not magically wiping away whatever doubts Kurt had.

“This is all very beautiful,” Kurt said, glancing around at the streamers, balloons, and startled faces that filled the room, “but it’s only a child’s dream. The real world isn’t a pretty song and a lot of smiling faces. It’s hard work, and compromise, and shared joys, and making sacrifices for each other’s happiness. That’s what a real commitment means, Blaine. It means being there for the people you love even when conditions are not ideal. Even when they’re so bad that you don’t know what to say or how to move forward, but you keep trying because you love them too much to ever want to cause that person pain. It means being your best self and making good times for the two of you even when the worst things are happening.”

“I don’t understand,” he admitted, flopping his hands helplessly. “Where is all this coming from?”

Kurt looked at his dad, who was dashing away tears from eyes that carried mingled pride, regret, and new understanding.

“I was reminded on the way here about how much my mom and dad loved each other, and how deeply committed they were to each other. Even when my mom was dying, they never stopped trying to make each other smile. They never would have cheated on each other, or tried to pressure each other into making a decision that they knew was wrong. And when it was just Dad and me, he did the same for me. He wanted me to always know that I had a safe space with him, a home where I could be myself and try to block out all the pain of the outside world. And I did the same for him, even when I was a little clumsy about trying to protect him.”

Burt nodded, his smile wry as he was clearly remembering some of of the awkward, uncomfortable, but always deeply loving moments they had shared together

“I want that again,” Kurt said, turning back to his would-be fiance. “It’s been a long time since I had a place where I know I can always be myself without having to hide half of the things that make me who I am. A place where I can feel safe because I always know that I’m loved and respected. A home where I can be with someone wants to make sure that I’m happy, just because knowing that makes him happy. Because I deserve that, Blaine.  And because I’ll do the same for the man that I’ll agree to spent my life with one day.”

“And I’m not that man?” he asked, sounding genuinely sad.

Kurt looked at him, smiled, and gently kissed his cheek. “No. I hope you will be that man for somebody one day, but we both know deep down that it can’t be me. Our relationship started right here in this hallway three years ago. It’s appropriate that it ends in the same place. Good luck, Blaine.”

They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment, Blaine reading the truth in Kurt’s steady gaze. “I’ll miss you. I’ll always love you, Kurt.”

“Goodbye. Dad, I’ll meet you out at the car.”

Holding his head high, Kurt walked down the steps and past the shocked crowd of onlookers.

“Thanks, Kurt,” he whispered, no longer able to sense his younger self, who had probably awakened from his dream at the same time his present self had ended the swirling nightmare of his unwanted proposal.

Pushing past the great double doors of Dalton Academy, Kurt smiled and stepped out into the sunlight, leaving the past behind him.

THE END

[everythingisgayandnothinghurts]

TK and Carlos in NY, meeting his old friends and crew. They can run into Alex or not up to you. Please and thank you.

I hope this answers your prompt well enough and of course I had to torture TK with his ex.  I love how as a fandom we have all made him a borderline abusive creep for the most part.  Fandom is great.  Hope you enjoy this :)

TK had thought coming to New York would be fun.  It turned out there were more memories he wanted to avoid instead of revisit.  

They were leaving the day after tomorrow and honestly TK would be happy curling up in a hotel all day tomorrow instead of seeing anymore of this city.  There were just so many places that were tainted with bad things.  His high school was where he had found pills in the first place and it had been the place he dealt with his dad getting divorced for the second time.  The firehouse had been great to visit to see his old team, but then it reminded him of Alex which still did funny things to his insides.  They had visited with his mom and that had been alright, but they were practically strangers at this point after so many years.  It was good to see her, but there had always been a reason TK had chosen to stay with his dad despite his crazy hours at the firestation.  His mom meant well but she was overbearing and a little self absorbed.  TK never felt at home around her the way he did with his dad or with Carlos.  

“You look exhausted,” Carlos observed over their table at the back of the bar.  This bar had too many memories, but also some of the best food TK had ever eaten in his life.  He had been craving pizza from this place since they had left for Austin.  He had come here almost every weekend during the fire academy with his friends.  He had even gotten an enthusiastic hug from the owner upon walking in.  Carlos had looked surprised but TK had merely shrugged and chatted amicably.  

“It’s nice being home, but it’s a lot,” TK told him as he finally slowed down devouring his pizza.  “I’m glad you got to meet my mom.  I don’t see her much, but she means well.”

“She was nice,’ Carlos said awkwardly which made TK laugh.  Carlos was nice almost to a fault.   

“She is a total bitch,” TK shook his head while chuckling.  “It’s kind of what I love about her.  She isn’t the most nurturing woman, but she reminds me of home the most.  She was a fun mom to have growing up a lot of the time.  She was the one who joined me jumping in the sprinklers when I was little.  She’d  skate around in our socks on a lazy Saturday morning.  We had some good times before she left.”

“Was it hard when your dad remarried?” Carlos asked curiously.  “Are we not meeting your dad’s second wife?”

“Fuck no,” TK said quickly and definitively.  “I will never talk to Lauren again if I can help it.  That woman nearly destroyed me when I was seventeen.  She’s the bitch that threatened me with conversion therapy when she found out I was gay.  She ended up leaving when my dad told her that absolutely wasn’t an option.  She was mean and abusive and just awful.”

“God, that’s awful,” Carlos said quietly and TK blushed when he realized how vehemently he had answered that question.  His high school years had been complicated and he had hurt a lot of people not least of all himself during those years.  Lauren had been a nightmare back then and TK was happy to never have to see her again.  

“Like I said, being here is complicated.” TK said quietly as he took another large bite of his pizza.  Carlos reached over to squeeze his hand in understanding and they were silent for a few minutes.  TK was just starting to relax when the door opened and the last person he wanted to see came through the door.  Alex was in the doorway with who he figured was Mitchell from spin class.  He was about TK’s height with blonde hair and blue eyes.  It was bad enough that the thought of Alex made his stomach knot up, but seeing him made his entire body freeze.  Alex had turned him into a shell of himself while they had been together and he had been too blindly in love to realize.  Alex had broken him and driven him to OD when he hadn’t touched pills in years.  He loved Carlos, but his heart still screamed for the pain to be felt when Alex was right in front of him.  It was like his heart was totally separate from his head and it was hard to tell his heart it couldn’t love someone anymore.  

“What’s wrong?” Carlos had noticed his change in posture and looked concerned.  “What’s going on?”  

“Alex is here,’ TK said as he closed his eyes tightly and tried to fight the mixture of longing and hurt and anger that was washing over him.  

“Your ex?  In this bar?” Carlos whirled around to look for himself.  

“He’s the one that introduced me to this place,’ TK said numbly as his body still tried to decide how he wanted to react.  Part of him wanted to burst into confused and hurt tears while another part of him longed to march up to Alex and tell him exactly what kind of hell he had been through this year because of him.  “He took me here on our first date.”

“Do you want to go?  I’ll pay our tab and we can go, okay?” Carlos put a hand on his before digging out his wallet and heading to the bar to pay their tab and for their food.  TK sat there and somehow knew Alex was going to come speak to him.  They had always been stupidly drawn to each other.  TK shouldn’t be surprised since he was drawn to everything that would destroy him.  

“TK?” Alex’s voice reached him and TK only wanted Carlos to be here.  He couldn’t be alone with this man, not now.  “Is that really you?”

“Hey Alex,” TK forced himself to open his eyes and those dark eyes looked so damn happy that it made him sick.  Alex didn’t get to look at him like that anymore.  That job was for Carlos and Carlos alone.  

“What happened to you?  I haven’t seen you since…” Alex trailed off, apparently unable to say since he had broken TK into indistinguishable pieces.  

“I moved,” TK said shortly and tried to see around Alex’s tall figure to find his boyfriend.  He really wanted to go back to their hotel now and sleep for a year.  

“You did always like to run away from your problems like a little boy,” Alex sneered at him with a shake of his head.  

“TK,” Carlos appeared at just the right moment and TK stood quickly.  He wanted out of here and he wanted out now.  

“Who is this?” Alex had to ask snidely.  “Did you find yourself another sorry soul to take care of you TK?”

“I’d watch what you say about my boyfriend,” Carlos said in a deep voice that sent shivers down TK’s spine.  

“We need to go,” TK said as he tugged Carlos toward the door.  “We really need to go.”

“You don’t want to have drinks with us?” Alex offered as he gestured to the man he had walked in with.  “First round can be on me.  Mitchell would be...interested to meet you.”

“Like I want to be anywhere near you,” TK spat at him as the anger won for the moment.  

“What?  We can’t be civil Tyler?” Alex knew TK hated to be called that by him and he only ever used it in a derogatory way.  

“It’s okay baby,” Carlos said to him lowly as he took charge and finally got them past Alex and out onto the street.  TK was shaking badly as Carlos got them a cab and gave directions for a hotel.  They collapsed onto the backseat and TK huddled into himself for the short ride to their hotel with his mind racing.  He hated that Alex could still get such a strong reaction to him.  He really hoped Carlos didn’t take his tears the wrong way to mean something they didn’t.  His emotions were tangled up in a mess and crying was the only way he could let them out.  He didn’t want Alex back and he didn’t love him.  He only loved Carlos.  It was just hard seeing someone who had once been your entire world with someone else. 

“I don’t love him,” TK sobbed out the minute the two of them were alone in their room.  He collapsed on the end of their bed and wished his body would just stop reacting so damn much.  

“I know that,” Carlos said quietly and patiently.  His boyfriend came to kneel in front of him with a plastic glass of water the hotel had supplied them with.  “Try to drink some water for me, okay?”

“Don’t be mad,” TK begged softly instead of drinking the water as he wiped at his eyes.

“I’m not mad at all, Tiger,” Carlos told him gently as he took his hand.  “Today has been a lot for you.”

“Seeing him is weird,” TK tried to explain even if it made the tears come faster.  “He controlled my entire world outside of my job.  He forced me to get clean when we got together and everyone thought it was such a good thing.  Then he controlled where we went and who I spoke to.  I let myself fall for him and focused solely on him and being without him was so overwhelming that I OD’ed and thought I couldn’t live without him.   It was so unhealthy what I felt for him, but it’s like my body is conditioned and I just can’t react to him normally when he had the guy he cheated on me with there and expected me to have drinks-”

“Take a breath, okay?” Carlos stayed in front of him and TK felt so incredibly stupid crying like this in front of him.  “I’m not upset with you at all.  You’ve been feeling a lot of things all day and you’re tired and Alex was just one thing too much.”

“Can you hold me?” TK asked shyly, knowing that’s what he needed.  He needed Carlos all around him to protect him and ground him to the here and now so his mind wouldn’t wander to days past.  “I just… I need you.”

“You don’t have to ask, baby,” Carlos told him as he leaned forward to kiss him gently.  The tears were slowing and with every touch TK could feel his body settling down again.  Carlos slowly unbuttoned TK’s shirt before gently taking it off his shoulders and tossing it to an extra chair.  He took both of TK’s hands and pulled him gently to stand.  Gentle hands ran down his body to his belt to undo the buckle before the button and zipper followed.  TK had never had someone undress him so intimately before and the care nearly brought him to tears again.  Carlos undressed him completely and got him under the covers before quickly taking off his own clothes and following suit.  The room was dark, the blankets were warm, and Carlos was completely surrounding him with his warm arms and firm chest.  

“I never thought I would love again,” TK said softly after some quiet minutes had gone by.  He placed a kiss to the underside of Carlos’s jaw.  “I never thought anyone else would ever want me, would ever love me.  You’ve taught me what a relationship is supposed to be.  You’ve taught me what love is Carlos, and I can never thank you enough.”

“What he did to you does not make you unlovable in any way,” Carlos told him with a kiss to his head as his large hands drew slow, soothing circles on his back.  “He manipulated you, controlled you, and hurt you.  None of that was your fault in any way.  You’re safe here with me.”

TK silently snuggled into Carlos’s chest and felt his eyes grow heavy.  Carlos put the TV on low to some game show they could both zone out to.  It had been fun enough to show Carlos his home and all his old stomping grounds, but he knew Austin would always be home for the both of them. 

[kerice]

Painful Memories...

I came across some old photos. Some of my wedding. I can look at these pictures now with less emotion. There is sadness but I really can’t identify with that person in the photo anymore. Does this mean I have detached myself? I remember being there. Have I healed from the wounds that are still painful to mention? This day, more than 17 years ago, was a start of a major trial in my life. Having the courage to work through the pain of recovery has helped give me the drive and tenacity to overcome financial debt and to succeed in school. 

My academic journey started back in 1996, academic achievement did not come easy to me in high school, but I wanted to get a good job, so a few years after high school I started classes at Seattle Central College, in Seattle Washington. I then had a child at age 25 and I became a single mom. I am always inspired by women who say that without hesitation, trepidation or feeling less than women who have a partner. When my son was about three years old, I transferred to Bellevue College. They had a work study program where I could work at the school daycare (where my son was) and also work on my career goals, while having my son close. Due to the early birth of my second son on Nov. 27th, I was unable to finish my last two weeks of course work in the fall of 2003. As a result, I received a failed grade in my personal enrichment courses of French 201 and Algebra II. However my GPA for my science classes were within the range they needed to be. But, even so, I had to quit my job and dropped out of college since my son was born two weeks before the final exams. 

On the day of the wedding, It was a beautiful, warm day in September 2004, I remember, the kids were dancing and laughing, the lakeside property was gorgeous. I remember my family and friends being around me, it felt like a different life. I don’t like going back in my thoughts. The pain of those memories has become less as time’s gone on. To go from such a happy day celebrating with the person I wanted to live my life with to days later, almost losing my life to this person. This is a story, no one wants to tell. Four days after my wedding, I was a victim of a road rage incident, where I was physically assaulted and (along with my infant son) nearly killed. My husband of four days was charged with reckless endangerment and assault and then arrested. A passerby had seen the incident and called 911. I still can’t believe this happened to me. He never apologized for what he had put us through, we never saw him again except at a distance. I then started therapy for the physical pain that was inflicted on me, the emotional pain would be a much longer process of healing.

When you go through the family court system and testify in front of everyone, what you go through, it is very difficult. After the shock wears off, the shame sets in, it’s hard to talk about. They (the court advocates) encourage you to talk, saying that it saves lives. I felt lost and defeated. I was forced to go through court ordered therapy, which I knew, any invasive findings would be broadcast in court. I had to acknowledge other incidences of abuse that led up to the escalation to the road rage. I was faced with the reality of my own denial of what was happening to me. The excuses I would make to myself. He was just stressed out. Maybe it was a psychotic break? I couldn’t be objective or logical enough to begin to imagine why someone would do such things to a person they profess to love. I didn’t want a stomach ulcer on top of everything else. I was able to get a pro bono attorney for the first trial.  But after my ex-husband went to domestic violence treatment, there was a new trial. This was because, where there is “abusive use of conflict,” the courts don’t allow mediation to settle parenting plans. This put me in financial peril, and I have struggled financially  ever since. 

It’s been many years since the assault and arrest. I was vilified and blamed for what caused our separation to our community and friends. According to his account, it was all an exaggeration, a misunderstanding. I heard him say in court that I was crazy, emotionally unbalanced. Especially during the child custody proceedings. I was so afraid of him and what he would do to me. I couldn’t even comprehend fully what he was doing, who he even was. Was he my enemy now? He blamed me for getting him arrested, even though I had not been the one who called the police, but an anonymous stranger did! I felt alone, scared, traumatized. I hated having to go through the court hearings and hear the venomous words coming from him and his attorney. It made me feel crazy, out of my mind. I had to get away, I saw him everywhere, I was always looking over my shoulder. Sudden movements would make me jump. Flashes of the trauma would enter my mind. While driving my car, when I would see brake lights I would tense up and my heart would skip a beat. How could I even co-parent with this person? My Post Traumatic Stress was keeping me from moving beyond what happened to me, keeping me from moving forward. But I knew I had to somehow keep it together and be strong for my children. 

After the divorce, I was given permission to move out of state. In 2007, my brother, who lived in Northern Kentucky, offered me a job. Because of this, I was able to move out of state with my children. I am so grateful to my brother for his help in this transition. During this time, my father had entered retirement from the military out on the west coast. He and my mother were planning on moving to Cincinnati to help my brother with his business. The timing of the move was good since we would be able to have the support of my family, during this time of healing and transition. Upon my move, my ex was continuing to file motions at the Seattle court house. I had to hire an attorney, from out of state, to represent me and to respond to every motion filed. Within 5 years, he filed 12 motions that were all dismissed for lack of credibility. Even though he was ordered to pay my attorney’s fees, these orders were not enforced, therefore leading me to incur much debt over the years. With the two divorce trials costing $40,000 and the additional $10,000, my finances were in trouble. I had to ask my parents for help with these huge costs. Two years after the divorce, he stopped paying child support and my daycare costs exceeded $6,000. I had to ask my parents for help with the kids, which allowed me to work more hours to pay my debts. I have been used to working two or sometimes three jobs to get a handle on my finances. In 2015 I was able to receive vocational training so I could earn more per hour. 

I am a single parent living in the Cincinnati area for almost 14 years now. After much healing and hard work, I am anxious to continue my academic career goals. I am the proud parent of two well-adjusted young adults and I’ve had much experience juggling work, school and parenting. I also became the caretaker of my grandmother the last year of her life. In which I moved her into my home with my two children. During this time, as I partnered with the hospice care staff, I assisted in many nursing responsibilities. Reflecting back on this now, I feel that nursing is the field I belong in. During my time in Cosmetology school, I took on another caretaking job. I did this while managing my other full-time job. Then in 2018, I enrolled in an accelerated program at the Cincinnati School of Medical Massage. Where we had rigorous course work in A&P and Pathology. I also became a personal care assistant in 2018. I also currently work as a licensed Cosmetologist and LMT, as well as an STNA. 

I am happy to say that my domestic partner and fiancé is supportive of my desire to finish my nursing education. Over time I had developed a tougher exterior, not able to readily identify with my feelings. I was so guarded, out of necessity. An armor of survival. I find it more difficult to make friends, especially deep friendships that take invested time and effort. Letting people in feels too high of a risk at times, as the emotional scars surface. Where I attended massage school, they taught us what it means to be “semi-permeable.” The idea of boundary lines that define your personal space and the space for the client. If you are too closed off, then you won’t be able to tune into anyone else’s needs. This was a wonderful exercise for me in many ways. It’s helped me in my relationship with my children as well. In the past, I’ve heard awful comments directed towards me, anywhere from saying that I am a bad mother, to questions like, why didn’t I just get an abortion. Being on the other end of the parenthood journey, with my kids entering the adult world, I would say it was worth the pain, the struggle. We persevered, we are all tough as nails, I can see it from the work ethic my kids have. Even in the most ideal circumstances, children can still have issues. But seeing the love for me in their eyes is very moving. Watching them run around, playing and laughing is like watching my heart dancing outside of me. I wish that some things had been different for them. But through the struggle, we established a strong bond, which I believe will last for years to come. I don’t know who made this quote but it sums up so much. “A son makes love stronger, days shorter, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten and the future worth living for.” 

This trial has taught me to not be too quick to dismiss the notion that real love does heal our wounds. In my younger years I would have thought of that notion too trite. Having my children with me in my life has given me profound purpose and meaning. As small children, they looked to me as their constant, their calming force. They were my purpose for staying strong, stoic, steady. When they were little and even now, I give them my continued support. Also, it took me years of being single to allow myself to fall in love again. I feel thankful to my family and to my God that I have another chance at a lifetime partnership. So much healing has taken place but the memories in the emotions are still there. The muscle memories within the physical scars, are still there.

I see what those court advocate where talking about, all those years ago. I have come through the pain of a trial that allows me to empathize with the profound pain of others. Sharing my pain can save lives, or at least meeting others at their depths, so they feel less alone. Not that I have the answers, only the experience in the struggle to survive. I believe now, as a nurse (or soon to be) I can come along side someone and show them I understand what it’s like to be in pain. I can better understand where they’re at because of what I’ve been through. Not everyone is ready to hear a story like mine. A lot of times i get the, “ wide eyed, gaping mouth” reaction. But sometimes I meet someone who says, that it was what they needed to hear. It gives them the courage to set out on their own journey of survival. To start fresh, to start over if that’s what is necessary to start the healing process. As a massage therapist I deal with people and their physical pain all the time. I build care plans around strategies to begin the healing process. Many times, the physical pain is locked up with emotional pain underneath. I understand this, as I am there with them, letting them cry through their trauma. It’s a process that I feel privileged using my skills and abilities to aid in the healing.

[trying-write-fanfics]

Hitoshi Shinso X Reader part 24

Y/n didn’t come to school for a few more days. She was on her retreat, so Shinso’s avoidance was kinda pointless. He still didn’t practice his quirk control because he’s afraid to ask someone to practice his quit on someone. 

Sonny and Benny went to the gym with class A. They were mostly just lifting weights and cardio. He never seen them really train their quirks, but then again that’s probably what their hero teachers are for. 

The door opened to reveal Y/n in casual clothes. She held Benny’s workout bag. There was a clear reason why she came, to drop off something of her friends. Shinso still didn’t even know what to say to her. ‘Hey how have you been, last time I saw you you were getting harassed.’ 

Sadly/luckily someone else caught her attention. Bakugo had ran up to her. 

“Where have you been, dumbass? Avoiding a rematch?” He asked her hitting her shoulder. 

No one was really expecting that from Bakugo. They couldn’t tell if he wanted to see her or smack her. Shinso looked around and couldn’t find Benny or Sonny anywhere. 

“I was on a training retreat.” She told Bakugo, but her voice didn’t seem right.

“Are you gonna fight me or what?” Bakugo asked. “I’ve been making new moves.”

“I-I guess we can.” She said putting the bag down. 

Shinsou zeroed in on her hands and saw them shaking. Bakugo and Y/n went outside to the front of the gym. He knew something wasn’t right. Through the glass he was able to see the beginning of the fight. They got in their stances and then charged. Bakugo aimed for her head, but she was able to duck quickly. However it was a trap. With his other hand. Bakugo grabbed her wrist which was covering her face. The look in her eyes was the same terrified look she had, she wasn’t prepared. Bakugo couldn’t see it, he just thought he was winning. He let the explosion go off and threw her into the cement. Shinso rushed outside. Y/n was on her side, her limbs vibrating. Her arm covered her face.

“What? Get up. You can’t be going easy on me. You dodged that last time.” Bakugo said, walking towards her. 

Aizawa also came out of the gym after hearing explosions. It was a quick patch up of the story looking at the scene. 

“What were you doing?” Aizawa asked Bakugo, getting time the girl’s side.

“I asked her to a rematch. She can’t be hurt, last time she-“

Bakugo stopped as he saw Aizawa lift her arm up. The skin on her wrist was scorched. Her eyes were tight shut and tears were pouring out on her cheeks. Her teeth were clenched. 

“(Last name), can you hear me? Can you get up.” Aizawa asked. 

She nodded her head, but her facial expression remained the same. Shinso got to her side.

“Let me help.” He said. 

“I don’t understand she was fine-“

“Bakugo now is not the time!” Aizawa growled. 

Getting tossed into the cement didn’t help his case. She hissed in pain as Shinso tried to peel her off the sidewalk. 

“I’m fine!” She cried, still her eyes sealed shut.

Shinso remembered why she wanted to hold on to the strong act. If anything goes wrong she would probably lose all hope of becoming a hero. Bakugo got tired of how this gentle act was going to take forever. So he took her by the arms and pulled her to her feel. She winced, but didn’t complain.

“I’m gonna call recovery girl, get her to the gym’s back office.” Aizawa said.

Shinso and Bakugo went under her arms and dragged her without making a scene. Y/n probably didn’t even know who was helping her since she kept her eyes shut. They sat her on the couch in the back office.

“What happened! I’ve seen you do way better than this?” Bakugo asked crossing his arms. 

“That’s what matters right now?” Shinso growled.

The muffled sobs stopped their bickering. Y/n covered her face with her hands trying to be as silent as she could, but both males were trying to listen for a response from.

“Let me look at it.” Bakugo said, reaching for her burnt wrist. 

“Bakugo, you’ve done enough.” Shinso said. 

“I’m fine….”she whispered out a sob.

 This only irritated Bakugo. Now she was lying to him? He grabbed her arms and took them out of her face.

“You’re clearly not! Look I’m-“ bakugo yelled.

Shinso went to try and pull Bakugo off Y/n, but the door slammed opened. It was Sonny. She saw the teary face of her (nickname) and her expression harden. Benny stood behind her.

“Out! Now!” Sonny yelled.

“You’re not the-“ bakugou yelled.

“Did I stutter?” She took bakugou by the shirt “you too Shinso!” She barked. 

They didn’t remember being on the other side of the door, but there were, with Benny who was eating a protein bar. 

“What the fuck!” Bakugo groaned.

“She got all mama bear on you two.” Benny said. “What happened?”

“Bakugo hurt Y/n.” Shinso hissed at the blond. 

“She agreed to a rematch.”

“Jesus Christ. She’s only been home for probably like a half hour.” Benny sighed. “Listen next time don’t challenge her after she used her quirk for a long time. She can’t think straight and she’s always gonna say yes because she wants to prove herself.” Benny said. 

“That’s her fault for agreeing.” Bakugo argued. 

“Put someone else’s need first for once. She doesn’t exactly have the most stable path to becoming a hero! You already have name recognition and a school with endless resources to help you succeed.” Benny said. “Everyone is trying to talk her out of being a hero so she can just be some miracle healer at a hospital. Every wrong step, every loss, feels like a sign to give up,  but guess what she’s still trying.”

Bakugo looked away and sighed. It wasn’t that he believed she ddI t have what it takes to be a hero, it was that he didn’t know how to talk to her. She wanted to show off her quirk to him and even sparred with him. What’s he do? Blast her into the ground. 

“She’ll forgive so don’t pout too much. She  had a lot of patiences, but if you use too much, I’ll make you blast your own face off.” Benny said. “What were you doing Shinso?”

“I was just worried about her.”‘ Shinso said. “Her hands were shaking.”

Aizawa came back but not with recovery girl.

“I couldn’t get ahold of recovery girl, but there’s a first aid kit in there.” Aizawa said.

“Can it deal with burns?” Benny asked.

“Yeah, it’s part of the training to become a teacher here.” Aizawa explained. 

Aizawa went into the room to find Sonny comforting her friend. The short glimpse Shinso got gave him an image of Y/n with her face in her friend’s lap as she pats her hair. 

He wasn’t special. The only reason why she called him that night verse Sonny, Benny, and Bakugo was because the first two would get there in time and Bakugo would be asleep. She called Shinsou knowing he would be awake and nearby. If anyone saved her, she would share the bed and cuddle whoever. Not because of anything wrong, but that was who she was. She needed affection. She needed to be told things would be okay with a head pat. 

“Where’s thst healer that works here?” Sonny asked.

“Probably in bed.” Aizawa said. “I can help though.”

“She’s gonna scat.” Sonny said.

“Even if recovery girl made it, (last name) would scar anyway.”

“I’m fine, really.” Y/n said, clearly in pain. 

Aizawa already knew the situation she was in. It was why he tried getting her to UA in the first place, but after the first year he would never be able to prove UA was a safe school. He was also to figure out the nature of Y/n’s quirk with her around more. It wasn’t exactly a healer’s quirk, but rather a body manipulation quirk or a cell manipulation quirk. Healers can only close wounds or at best fix broken bones. The hospital’s board thinks soon Y/n will be able to get rid of tumors. It’s not terrible, but it’s too much pressure on a high school student. He did have a selfish reason for wanting her to become a hero, a quirk like hers on the battle field would be able to help more accidents. If she could heal heros, they wouldn’t take up medical staff at hospitals. 

“Just relax.” Aizawa told the girl as he began cleaning the burn wound. 

Sonny held her ex’s free hand as she choked on the pain.  Sonny sighed knowing a scolding was hopeless. Her friend had always been insecure about her fighting abilities, even when she was catching up she couldn’t use her quirk to defend herself. She’d have a to take up a weapon or a fighting style, which both she has done. But it was hard for her to watch how effortlessly her friends can harm another with their brute force. Benny using his gravity quirk to sink his opponents to the ground, while Sonny could just light them on fire. If a punch isn’t hard enough or a kick isn’t swift enough against someone rally strong, Y/n would be done for. So she improved her mobility in order to dodge attacks and tire out her opponents, but she was still relying on her teammates to finish the job. It was stupid to accept every chance to fight, but then again she was fried from her retreat so she wasn’t thinking clearly. 

“You need to give yourself a break, (nickname)” Sonny commented. “No school, no work,  no training and maybe you’ll figure yourself out some more. Learn what you need to.”

“I’d fall behind if I did that.” Y/n said.

“You won’t be useful to your friends if you exhaust your quirk though.” Aizawa said.

“Oh are you apart of girl talk now?” Sonny asked.

“(Last name) shouldn’t have to drop everything, but she does deserve a break. You’ve been healing a lot of heroes I heard.” Aizawa said.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” Sonny said. “Trying to increase your overall endurance?”

Y/n nodded. Destroy the body’s pushing it to the limits to have it regrow into a stronger vessel. She was always told she was perfect by so many strangers, job, schooling, training, a perfect balance. But honestly she was afraid to relax and let go. Even on her off time she feels like she’s never doing enough and she’s running out of time. Her act was going to be up soon and everyone will know she’s a fraud faking under pressure. 

“Recovery Girl offered to mentor you. If you don’t mind me prying, why didn’t you take it?” Aizawa asked.

Over a year ago, Y/n revived her recommendation to UA, something she was not planning. A lot of heros were her family’s clients. They met the young girl, surprised by her healing quirk. Her parents weren’t exactly happy someone went behind their back trying to get Y/n to become a hero. It was a steadier deal to become a doctor/healer. However they still made her tour the school where she met Eraserhead. Sure he looked weird, was kinda stiff, but he tried to get her to consider instead of telling her she didn’t have the heart. Then she met recovery girl, the kindest, wisest woman. Having similar quirks, she offered immediately to mentor Y/n. Y/n’s initial reaction was to reject it, she didn’t want to grow up too fast. She didn’t want things to change even though they already were. Her friends were going to different schools, people wanted her to spend her time healing more people!  Recovery girl said the offer still stands.

Weeks went on and Y/n felt like an idiot. Her friends weren’t picking their schools because of Y/n so why should she pick her future around her friends? The answer was she was scared. She was scared she wasn’t the healer the world thought she was. She just didn’t want to be looked at or seen the way she’d always been. 

“You’re so rotten.”

It was how she fell for Sonny. They’d been close for so many years. Sonny was one of the first to get into fights with Y/n and call her out for her timid flaws. She was commanding and demanding. If she didn’t get what she wanted then she fought for it. Y/n was utterly shocked how her friend was just so different from her. But she also feared Sonny was the only one real with her. People wanted a healer so the world could be a little less painful. They would say anything to make Y/n feel confident in herself, even if it was a lie. But Sonny told her the first thoughts that came into her mind. There was no filter, there was no concern for altering the future. 

“If you have people using you for your healing powers just let them suffer, honestly, you’re not a god Y/n.”

She wasn’t the sweetest most nurturing person in the world, but her words would lift some pressure off Y/n’s shoulders. They started working out together. When jogging and boxing Y/n felt more of the pressure release. She was moving, moving for herself and on her own. While working out she was able to discover more about her own thoughts. She hated waiting for someone to heal, it’s like a slab of meat being thrown in front of you being told to fix it. She’d rather hunt for it, heal because she would feel the need to, not because it was thrown into her face. But that’s how she learned she could heal in more ways than one, so it wasn’t totally useless. 

“You’re bad person, but not because of your complicated feelings toward your quirk, but because you refuse to acknowledge what you do to those around you.”

Y/n had always been “nice”. Maybe even “guibile” and “doll-like”. She’d do anything to lessen another’s pain and would do anything told to her. Because she was losing herself in other’s commands, she didn’t feel much, but they sure did. If she would have just said “no” instead of falling in line to a steward way of life she wouldn’t break so many hearts, confused why she cared so much about their happiness to only not love them back. She only cared because they didn’t know her quirk and they asked for her. 

“I felt like the hospital needed me more.” She lied. 

Aizawa accepted the answer, even though he knew she was lying. She wasn’t one of his students, but he knew her enough. He wouldn’t take it personally, already knowing the pressure she’d be under with such a blessing of a quirk. 

Benny and Sonny took Y/n home. It’s been awhile since all three were together, like old times. No dating drama came up either. She looked at Sonny. Sonny has some hurtful things I’ve the years, but also some of the most special lines. Maybe they were losing meaning(l, but Y/n decided that it would be best to let it go, the idea Sonny would love her forever whether Y/n wanted her or not. Those lines would have special places in her heart, but also wanted Sonny to find happiness even if it wasn’t Y/n. Because it wouldn’t be fair now that her heart was beating for someone new.

Aizawa basically gave Bakugo the don’t let your ego get too big. Context matters when it comes to challenging someone. He also gave Shinso a scolding that he needed to trust his gut more to stop things form getting bad. Y/n would be fine, but she would have a scar from the last battle. 

Both male students went up to their dorm in silence. All Shinso wanted to do was protect Y/n from any sort of pain, and he just watched Bakugo blow her up even though he knew it wasn’t right. He just remembers her hand twitching. Shinso opened his door and sighed. He looked over and Bakugo. He slammed his door loudly. He heard a muffled scream covered by the walls.

At least he didn’t mess up as bad as Bakugo.

[strangerfictions]

Snowed In

Request: heeey, can you do 24 for the Christmas prompt list?? AND HAVE A GOOD DAYY

24: We just had a one-night stand but a massive storm hit so now we’re snowed in, hello awkward.

Summary: You were supposed to be at the club for a girl’s night out, but your friends ditch you. Somehow you end up talking to Steve Harrington and you end up going for ice cream. Steve ends up staying the night but the morning after is a little interesting!

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, cigarettes, Fluff, awkwardness, Dom! Steve, and a WHOLE LOT OF SMUT SO BE WARNED

Words: 4187

A/N : Thanks to @steveproblems for this awesome request! I was so excited to do this prompt when I added it to the list, so I really enjoyed writing this! As you can see from the word count it’s a long one. I did get a little carried away, but I think this particular prompt needed to be long for it to work. I decided to go for Dom! Steve because it worked well! I may do a part two if anyone is interested! If you want to send me in a Christmas request I have a list of prompts here!

As you walked through the dimly lit club you wondered how you had even ended up in this situation. You had been through a tough breakup a few weeks ago and so your friends decided it was time for you to get out of your apartment. You tried to say no, but they wouldn’t hear it and so here you were standing at the bar watching as your friends danced with random strangers.

“Hey! Y/N, right?” You turn around to see Steve Harrington standing beside you drink in hand. Steve had been in a few on your classes in high school, but you didn’t really know him all too well.

“Yeah…how are you Steve?” You attempt to make friendly conversation, but you would much rather be anywhere but talking to King Steve.

“I’m good How are you ? You look great!” Steve is leaning towards you shouting in your ear so you can hear him.

“I’m alright” You try to cut the conversation hoping your friends would be to the bar soon but when you turn to face the danced floor  you can’t see them or the guys the guys they were dancing with.

“I can’t believe them” You turn back around and finish your coke getting ready to go home. Not only had your friends dragged you out tonight but they also ditched you and you were not happy.

“You okay Y/N?” You turn towards Steve who was still standing beside you

“Just great…so much for girl code. Who drags their friend out to a club and then ditches them?” You stop talking suddenly realizing you are ranting to Steve Harrington

“Sorry you probably don’t want to hear this”

“No, it’s fine I get it…uhm come outside with me and you can tell me all about it” You nod and you both begin to walk towards the smoking area. Once you are both outside the door you can see that Steve is the exact same as high school. Same hair, same walk, same goofy smile. You breathe in the fresh air as you both sit down at a bench furthest from the door.

“Rant all you want I’m listening” Steve pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and places them on the table. You sigh deciding it was probably best to let out your feelings even if it was to Steve.

“You know when you just want to curl up in bed and watch shitty movies and all day and all night with a big carton of ice cream…well that’s all I wanted to do tonight but of course the girls had other plans. They think I’ve been hoarding myself away for too long and so they said a girl’s night would help cure my broken heart. So far there has been no girl’s night and my broken heart is still very much broken and I now want ice cream” You sigh as you watch Steve listen to you intently.

“What I’m gathering from all of that is that you are going through a breakup?” Steve takes a cigarette out of the box and places it in between his lips.

“Yeah…they are probably right, but I prefer to do things in my own time” You watch as Steve brings his lighter up to his face lighting the cigarette between his lips. As it lights up, he takes a long pull from it and lets out a stream of smoke.

“When did it happen?”

“A couple of weeks ago” You mumble knowing how stupid you are for being too caught up on your ex.

“I would say that’s still a healthy amount of time to be grieving…I know for me it takes about a month to get over someone I really liked so I reckon you are doing just fine.” He offers you the cigarette and you take it from his fingers placing it between your lips. As you breathe in you get the taste of something sweet you assume t is the coke in his drink. You exhale and pass the cigarette to Steve

“I just wish they were more supportive. You’ve been more supportive tonight than they have the entire 3 weeks” Steve watches you as you pick at your nails out of awkwardness

“I have an idea! I was ditched by a friend too and I now want ice cream as well so How about we go for ice cream? I know this great place that stays open late” You shift on the bench not sure if you should say yes.

“I would have thought you would be sick of ice cream after working in an ice cream shop…but sure I’m down for some ice cream and it’s not like I have anything else to do” You joke as Steve puts out his cigarette.

“I was for about 2 years. Couldn’t look at ice cream the same but then after a while I got over it…I think I had been dumped and I found a giant carton in the freezer and I went ham on it” You both walk through the door to get through the nightclub. You both stay quiet as you walk through instead of shouting over the music.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who turns to ice cream after a breakup” You laugh once you get outside the club. You follow Steve as he walks towards the town centre.

On your way to the ice cream parlour you and Steve reminisced about high school and how ridiculous everything was back then. You didn’t think you would get on so well with Steve, but you were, and you liked his company.

Steve held the door open for you as you walked into the ice cream parlour. You could smell the sweetness of the ice cream as soon as the door opened.

“So, what’s your go to flavour?” Steve asks walking up to the counter

“Depends on the mood I’m in…right now I’m feeling adventurous” When you say that Steve looks up and smiles as you. As he turned back towards the counter you didn’t expect your body to react to his smile as hard as it did. Your stomach was full of butterflies. You hadn’t felt like this for a while and you certainly didn’t expect it to be with Steve. You pushed it to the back of your mind as you browse the flavours.

“I think I’m going to keep it simple…chocolate chip mint!” Steve beams as he watches you look at all the ice cream

“You know I was thinking the same thing, but I was going to pair it with strawberry!”

“You really are in an adventurous mood because that is the weirdest combination I’ve ever heard, and I worked in an ice cream shop!” You laugh at Steve reaction. You stand beside him as he order for both of you. As begins to search for his wallet you already had a ten dollar bill out and in the hand of the cashier.

“Hey! I was going to pay” Steve looks at you surprised at how fast you were

“You snooze you lose Harrington!” You grab your ice cream and walk towards a table at the front of the store. You sit down watching Steve as he approaches you and sits opposite you.

“At least let me pay you back!” He goes to reach for his wallet, but you reach over and stop him. Your face inches away from his face.

“No you listened to me ramble on about my shitty friends and shitty ex for way too long tonight so it’s the least I can do” You look into Steve’s eyes but your adventurous mood doesn’t come with courage so you sit bac down and start eating your ice cream.

You both continue to talk as you eat your ice cream. Turns out strawberry and chocolate chip mint aren’t the best combination, but you enjoy it all the same. As you continue to talk to Steve you can feel the tension build between you both, but you know it’s not a negative tension, but you just can’t put your finger on it.

“Would you mind walking me home?” You ask Steve as you both stand up from the table.

“Sure, I would love to! I’ve actually had a really good night tonight. Thanks for letting me talk to you. Most people from high school ignore me whenever I say something to them” You can see a hint of sadness in Steve’s eyes as he tells you this.

“It’s alright I’ve had a great night too despite being ditched! It also happens to me too which is why I never attempt to talk to anyone from high school anymore” You take the lead guiding Steve towards your apartment. In the twenty minutes it took to walk to your apartment you and Steve got to know each other a bit more and the ore you learnt about him the more you liked him.

Once you are at your apartment block you walk up the steps a little but before you get to the top your courage and adventurous mood has taken over and you run back down to where Steve is standing.

“Thanks for walking me home…I really appreciate it” You mumble as you take a step towards Steve.

“Of course,” Steve breathes out as you both stare into each other’s eyes the tension continuing to build.

“Kiss me” You whisper and without warning Steve’s lips were barely touching you as if he was afraid to deepen the kiss. You warp a hand around his neck pulling him in towards you. His lips are soft against yours. You feel his tongue run along your bottom lip looking for invitation but instead you pull away.

“Come inside” You take Steve’s hand in yours and pull him up the stairs to the door. After rummaging in your pockets for your keys you pull them out and open the door. You both stay quiet until you are in the elevator. Once there Steve pulls you towards him crashing his lips. He runs his tongue along your bottom lip again just as the elevator door opens.

“Come on” You laugh as you pull him towards your apartment. Once inside Steve has your back against the door.

“You live alone right?” You nod as he starts to kiss along your jaw moving slowly down to you neck where he begins to nip at the skin. You can’t help but let out a moan as he continues to mark up your neck. Your hands tangle up to his hair as he kisses back up your neck to your lips.

“Bedroom? “ He mumbles against your lips. Without breaking away from the kiss you both stumble to the bedroom. Steve guides you gently to the bed until you feel the frame hit the back of your knees. Without warning Steve pushes, you onto the bed. In seconds clothes are flying across the room and Steve is laying on top of your naked body kissing along your jaw and neck.

“Steve…please” you moan as you feel Steve suck more marks into the skin of your neck.

“Tell me what you want sweetheart” Steve continues to kiss down your neck until he get to your nipples. You whimper quietly as he softly licks your nipples blowing on each as he switches between them.

“I want…fuck…you” You are so sensitive that the simplest of touches from Steve has you begging for him. Your hands tangled in his hair as he pleasures you.

“Mhmm what do you want me to so ? Use your words” He continues to lick and suck your nipples as you moan out loudly. You just needed him to fuck you, but you couldn’t get it out fast enough.

“I need you…to…fuck me Steve!” You whimper as Steve bites your nipple.

“Okay patience baby” He continues to kiss and lick down your body stopping at the bottom of your stomach. He slides off the bed to kneel in between your thighs. You whimper as you feel his tongue on the inside of your thigh.

“Steve…please…I need you so bad!” Without warning you feel Steve tongue flick over your sensitive clit. Your hands tangling up in his hair as he continues to flick his tongue over your clit. You feel Steve’s hands run up along the inside of your thigh as he continues to suck your clit. He slowly insert two fingers and curls them upwards. You can feel the heat begin to build in the pit of your stomach. You were close.

“Ste..ve…I’m clos…” You couldn’t get it out because Steve reached up and pinched your nipple and you were coming in seconds. As you come down from your orgasm Steve crawls back up placing sloppy kisses along your body.

“On your hands and knees…facing the mirror!” You get up on your hands and knees facing the mirror across the room. You can feel Steve come up behind you as he places a condom on.

“I want to see your face when I fuck you” With that Steve rubs the tip of his cock along your opening causing you to moan. As he begins to push in you push back quickly causing Steve to growl as his hips connect with your body.

“Fuck baby…you’re so tight. I don’t think I’ll last long if you keep this up” You continue to push forward and back on Steve’s cock as he moans and growls. His hands meet your hips with a firm grasp that was sure to leave a few bruises tomorrow. He takes over fucking you fast and steady grabbing your hair in his hands pulling your body up towards his.

“Steve…I’m close” You moan as Steve continues to push in and out of you. He reaches around your body and starts rubbing your clit.

“Don’t come yet…wait for me okay?” You hum in agreement as you feel the familiar wave begin to build in your stomach. You can tell Steve is close by the way his thrust begin to slow down and get sloppy.

“Come for me sweetheart” You let yourself unravel allowing your orgasm to take over your body. Steve comes with you, growling and moaning in your ear as you clench around his cock.

“Fuck…” You both collapse on the bed coming down from your high trying to calm your hectic breathing.

“Well that’s not how I expected the night to go…I really just wanted to bring you for ice cream!” Steve laughs as you nudge him with your elbow.

“That makes two of us” You get up and grab our pyjamas from under your pillow. You walk towards your bathroom when you hear a slight snore come from Steve. You turn around to find him fast asleep with his head on your pillow.

While doing your night time routine you happened to look out the window in your bathroom. Snow. It had started snowing at some point in the evening and you were too preoccupied to notice. You hoped it wouldn’t stick or get too heavy. You begin to feel your eye lids shut so you get into bed beside Steve who was now under the covers.

You wake up with an arm wrapped around you. You had hoped it was all a dream but when you turned your head you see Steve facing you his hair falling into his face. You pull yourself out from under his arm and use the bathroom. All you could think about was how awkward this morning was going to be between the two of you. It always was after a one-night stand. You push those thoughts to the side as you walk into the kitchen and see the scenes outside your window. You were snowed in. The snow was at least half a meter deep which meant the front door to your apartment complex would be blocked. You decide to ignore the alarm bells going off in your head and make some breakfast.

Halfway through frying bacon you hear your bedroom door open closely followed by bare feet hitting the wooden floor in your hallway.

“Is that bacon I smell?” Steve walks into the kitchen with just his trousers on. Somehow in the space of twelve hours you forgot how great he looked and seeing him again sent shivers up your spine.

“Yeah…I thought it would knock the blow of what was outside a little” As you say that Steve’s expression changes suddenly. A look of confusion as he walks towards the window.

“Shit! Are we snowed in?” You hum a yes as you plate up the bacon on two plates and place it on the small breakfast bar.

“Can I use your phone?” Steve asks as he walks towards the breakfast bar where you are sat.

“Sure, its beside the sofa!” You pour yourself some coffee as you begin to eat you r bacon. You watch as Steve sits on the sofa and dials a number.

“Hey Robin its me Steve…yeah…thanks for ditching me last night…no I’m snowed in…I’ll tell you later…yes robin…no I wont thank you for ditching me…fuck you Robin” You could hear the playfulness in his voice as he joked with his friend. As you listened into the conversation you knew Robin was probing him on where he was, and you could tell he was embarrassed to be talking about it with you right there. You soon stopped listening when there was a loud knock on your door. You get up and walk towards your front door. Opening it you find your neighbor standing there looking frantic.

“Hey Y/N have you got any spare milk? I was planning on going to get some today but now we…”

“It’s okay Flo I’ve got some come on in” You allow Flo in and walk towards the kitchen where you find Steve sitting at the breakfast bare hovering up his bacon.

“Flo this is Steve, Steve…wait Steve did you eat my bacon too?” You shake your head when Steve looks at you guilty. You can hear Flo let out a little snort behind you. You open the fridge and take out the milk.

“Here you go Flo…sorry about the animal” You say as you hand over the carton of milk.

“Are you sure you don’t need it?” You shake your head as Flo thanks you profusely. You let Flo out and walk back to the kitchen. You can hear some banging coming from the kitchen when you walk in.

“What are you…” You see Steve standing at the cooker with the frying pan in front of him.

“Sit down. I’m making you more bacon!” You try to protest but Steve doesn’t listen.

“Come on it’s the least I can do. You’re kinda stuck with me until the snow melts so we might as well make the most of it” You hadn’t thought about that. It could be a few days before the snow melts

“Wait that came across wrong I don’t want you getting the wrong impression of me I meant we should get to know each other not…well you know” You laugh as you watch Steve fumble over his words.

“I didn’t even take it that way Steve. We aren’t all as dirty minded as you” You watch as Steve plates you up some more bacon. You thank him as you begin to eat your bacon.

Steve places the frying pan in the dish washer and sits beside you at the breakfast bar. Out of the corner of your eye you can see him take a swig out of his coffee with what you can only take as his thinking face on.

“That was really nice of you” Steve mumbles as he watches you eat your bacon.

“What was?” You ask not knowing what he was even talking about

“Giving your neighbor your entire carton of milk” You nod as you take in what he was saying

“Yeah well I usually don’t use a full carton. It’s usually for when my friends come over for coffee. She has young kids, so she needs it more” You say staring ahead of you not looking at Steve.

“Still…it was a nice thing to do” You hear Steve get up from his stool and walks towards the dishwasher where he places his coffee mug.

“Do you always make yourself so at home at peoples houses?” You joke as Steve walks back to the breakfast bar.

“Not really but…this is probably going to sound super weird, but you make me feel welcome here its like I’ve lived here for years!” You look at Steve as he avoids your eyes.

“All I did was make you breakfast Steve it wasn’t that big of a deal”

“It’s not just that though. It’s something else that I cant put my finger on. You give of an energy that just makes me feel welcome” You knew exactly what he was talking about. It was exactly how you felt last night while he was listening to you rant about your friends.

“I get it. It’s how I felt last night when you were listening to me rant” Steve looks up and smiles at you causing your stomach to do those stupid flips again.

“Okay so we can either play some boardgames or watch a movie…up to you” You ask Steve as you get up to place your dishes into the dishwasher.

“I hate making decisions…board game!” You laugh at how quick he made his decision.

“Well that was easier than I expected. There’s a pile of them in the corner by the TV you pick. I’m just going to make the bed and tidy up a bit.” Steve nods and walks towards the board games as you walk into your bedroom. Your clothes from last night were still strewn around the room. No wonder Steve wasn’t wearing a t-shirt he probably couldn’t find it. You go around the room picking up clothes eventually finding Steve t-shirt behind a chair in the corner of your room.

“Hey, Steve, do you want your t-shirt I just found…” You shout out as you fold your own clothes.

“Yes please” You jump hearing Steve a lot closer to you than you expected. You turn around to find him standing in the doorway of your room grinning. You throw it over to him as you watch him put it on.

“Thanks, I couldn’t find it this morning. We were too busy last night to care about our clothes” You can feel your cheeks begin to turn red at the mention of last night. You turn around and finish folding your clothes placing them on the set of drawers beside your bed.

“Here let me help you make the bed” You both are quiet as you make the bed. You take a pillow and start to plump it up. You can feel Steve watch you as you do it.

“Why are we letting things be so awkward?” You look up at Steve who is hugging the other pillow to his chest. You weren’t really sure why things were awkward because you liked Steve and you knew you got on well with him. You sigh and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“I’m not really sure why” You look up at Steve who is still standing clutching to the pillow for dear life. He sighs and sits down at the opposite end of the bed. He rests his back against the head rest and puts his feet up.

“I mean we had sex what’s awkward about that right? We can both be embarrassed all we want but it happened and now we are both snowed into your apartment. It’s not like we barely know each other because we got to know each other pretty well last night…” You watch as Steve stares of out the window beside your bed

“How about we forget about how awkward things have been and enjoy each other’s company because this may come as a shock to you…brace yourself Y/N…I like you a lot actually so I would prefer things to not be awkward between us. Of course, if the sex was so bad, we can stay being awkward” Steve suggests as you laugh

“Okay fine you have yourself a deal!” You both stand up and walk towards the door of your bedroom. You suddenly turn around stopping Steve in his tracks.

“I…uhm…like you too…a lot” You say watching Steve’s expression go from content to happiness within seconds.

“Thank god cause I really didn’t want you to think I was wei…” You crash your lips to Steve’s to shut him up. Steve runs his tongue over your bottom lip this time you give him access. Your tongues fight for dominance as you continue to make out. Steve is the first to pull away allowing you to catch your breath.

“Come on lets play a board game and wait for the snow to melt so I can bring you on a date!” Steve takes your hand in his as he drags you to your sofa.

“I thought getting ice cream last night was a date?”

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[azozzoni]

VDS saga, coda 1 of 3. I’m back, I’m jetlagged. I gotta go to work :(

*

“How’s your mom?”

The bedroom door squeaked behind Lucas as he closed it gently, turning to where Jens had perched himself on the edge of Lucas’ bed. It was strange to see him there, surrounded by all of Lucas’ things. His textbooks and scattered clothes he hadn’t bothered to pick up lately and an old photo of him and Kes sitting on the desk by the wall.

“She’s asleep,” he said, lingering by the door. It all felt different now, with Jens watching him, a soft smile at his lips. “I left her some food so hopefully she’ll eat something when she wakes up.”

“Is it like this a lot?”

Lucas shrugged. “Couple times a year.” Moving over to the bed, he sat down finally, next to Jens. “She’s usually fine in a couple days.”

Jens’ hand moved to Lucas’ thigh, sliding along his inseam, and Lucas glanced at it, the burning warmth through his jeans. They were really doing this, he thought. Jens had said it. This was the start of something totally new.

“How did you know where I lived?” Lucas asked as they sat there, his face too close to Jens’, eyes flicking to Jens’ lips instead. He supposed he should be asking some of these questions, how this was going to work, if this meant Jens was going to invite him to every party, even the ones his ex threw. He should be asking them, but with Jens’ hand hot against his thigh, he kind of thought there’d be plenty of time to figure all that out later.

Jens hesitated, smiling slightly, as though embarrassed. Lucas had definitely never seen Jens like this, as though hesitant to admit how he’d known.

“I didn’t,” he said finally. “I went to the cafe. I was going to call you, but then I saw you walk by the window.”

“So you followed me,” Lucas finished, only slightly surprised that Jens would go that far just to talk to him.

“I prefer to think of it as being romantic and not creepy,” Jens said with a laugh.

“I like it better that way too,” Lucas admitted, leaning into Jens for an easy kiss that made his heart flutter. He couldn’t help smiling as Jens’ hand came up to his jaw, opening his mouth to deepen the kiss as they fell back, awkward onto the mattress. He heard Jens’ laugh, and everything seemed to relax.

Jens shifted first, letting Lucas pull his legs onto the mattress, straddling Lucas instead as they kissed, slow and lazy. Jens’ body was heavy and warm on top of him, a pressure on his chest that Lucas liked. It felt safe somehow, like Jens wasn’t going anywhere.

“When do you have to get back?” Lucas murmured against Jens’ mouth, lips tingling, not quite willing to move away, more interested in kissing Jens and feeling the warmth spreading through his body.

Jens’ hand slid to Lucas’ hair, fingers buried in the curls as he pulled his lips away to mouth along Lucas’ jaw instead. It was with a contented sigh that Lucas tilted his chin back, mouth falling open at the feeling of Jens’ tongue on his skin.

“I told my mom I was staying at Robbe’s,” he said finally, pressing a kiss under Lucas’ ear.

“So do you have to go to Robbe’s?” Lucas asked, pulling Jens’ mouth back to his, tugging on his bottom lip. He didn’t know where he was going with this, just that he didn’t want Jens to leave, not yet.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since Lucas had seen him last, since the last time Jens had kissed him, had looked at him like he was right now. But it was different now, a sort of warm glow in his gaze as though he’d be content to stay there forever. It made Lucas smile, anchoring his hands in Jens’ hoodie he still had on. It was getting hot with Jens on top of him.

“Not if you don’t want me to,” Jens said, thumb brushing over the warmth on Lucas’ cheek. He had a smirk on his face as though he knew the answer before Lucas even said it.

“Asshole,” Lucas said, but he pulled Jens closer, rolling them onto their sides. Jens’ leg slid between his, tangling on top of the sheets.

Jens merely laughed, sweeping Lucas’ curls from his face. “The last train leaves at 21:30. I could still catch it.”

He started to roll away, but Lucas tightened his grip on his sweatshirt, dragging him back, kissing the smile off Jens’ face. He felt Jens’ smile fade as the kiss deepened, becoming more serious somehow, tongues sliding together.

Lucas sighed as Jens’ hand moved down to his side, grazing under his shirt, skirting along his lower back, and he shivered.

A few days ago, he hadn’t imagined they would be there, holed up in his room, lips tingling from deep kisses, a flush along the back of his neck as Jens’ fingers traced his spine. A few days ago, he was pretty sure he was never going to hear from Jens again.

“You can stay here,” he said finally, pulling back to watch Jens’ eyes, the way they softened as he smiled.

“Your mom won’t mind?”

“She probably won’t even notice.” Lucas shook his head. The chances of her leaving her room tomorrow weren’t high, and Lucas could always just say Jens was a friend from school. He hadn’t really thought about how he was going to tell her, if he should. It hadn’t been a good time lately, but maybe once she was back to her usual self. Maybe then he’d tell her.

“Do you think she’ll care?” Jens asked after a minute, head on the pillow next to Lucas. His fingers were still tangled in Lucas’ hair, brushing it back gently, and Lucas let his eyes close for a second at the soft touch. No one had ever done that before. No one else had ever laid this close, noses almost touching. It was all new, the feeling blossoming in Lucas’ chest as he realized that Jens cared about his answer, wasn’t just asking to ask.

“She’ll like you,” was all he said, and Jens smiled slightly.

“Everyone does.”

Shaking his head, Lucas bit back his grin. “So confident. I’m not sure my friends will agree.”

Jens frowned at Lucas’ words. “What do you mean?”

Pausing, Lucas wondered if he should even bother to say it. After all, it had worked out. Jens had come here, apologized, now had his palm pressed to the small of Lucas’ back, making his whole body hot.

“You did ditch me for an ex’s party,” he said at length, watching realization come into Jens’ eyes.

“You told them?”

Lucas shrugged, watching Jens closely. Jens sighed, scooting closer, hand tight on Lucas’ back.

“Maybe we can go to a party together,” he said instead, tracing over the mole on Lucas’ jaw. “I did offer once and you turned me down.”

“I wasn’t ready then,” Lucas admitted, but he leaned into Jens’ touch.

“What about now?” Jens shifted closer until their chests were pressed together and Lucas swore he could feel Jens’ heartbeat against his own.

Smiling, Lucas met Jens’ mouth for a slow kiss, warm and soft and stirring something deep inside as Jens’ hand fell to the back of his neck, holding him there. He didn’t want to go to any parties, didn’t want to leave this room ever again, but he did sigh when Jens broke the kiss.

“Right now, I’d rather stay here.”

Jens grinned, pulling Lucas on top of him, so he was straddling his waist, and he licked his lips as his gaze traveled down his chest. Lucas paused, watching him. He wondered if Jens liked this position. That was something they’d have to explore later.

“I knew you were a romantic,” Jens said simply, hands on Lucas’ hips, edging under his shirt.

“What gave it away?” he asked, running his hands up Jens’ chest, smiling at the way Jens’ eyes followed the movement.

Jens glanced around the room obviously, the poster of Donnie Darko, Eternal Sunshine, photos of his friends tacked up on the walls, an old valentine Isa had given him last year. “The movies, your love of cake, that we were about to have a reunion in the rain until you took pity on me and let me inside.”

“Liking cake has nothing to do with any of that,” Lucas pointed out, but he still smiled as Jens tugged him down, into a kiss that made Lucas melt. Fuck, he never wanted this to end, to go back to the real world. It didn’t even have to end now. Tomorrow, maybe he and Jens would hang out with Kes or go to a party or spend the whole day lounging around in bed. It didn’t really matter because Jens would still be here, with him.

And when Jens went back to Antwerp, he wouldn’t be chatting up random guys or hitting on hot girls at parties. Maybe Lucas would even be there with him, dragging him into empty rooms in stranger’s houses. He smiled at the thought when Jens broke away to press kisses down his jaw.

“What are you smiling at?” Jens asked after a second, hands reaching for Lucas’ neck, pushing into his hair.

“Nothing,” Lucas replied, brushing Jens’ hair from his forehead and smiling down at him. “What are you smiling at?”

Jens’ smile widened after a second, licking his lips and tugging Lucas back down until their noses brushed together and Lucas tilted his head to the side as their lips almost touched, teasing.

“Nothing.”

Jens kissed Lucas before he could say anything else, lingering against his lips, pulling Lucas closer, and Lucas couldn’t help thinking how glad he was that Ralph had practically shoved him out of his chair that day in the cafe, that he’d gone to that club in Amsterdam to meet Jens. Mostly, he was just glad that Jens was here, wrapped up in his bed with no plans to leave any time soon. That was about all that Lucas could ask for, and it was about all that he wanted.

[alicedopey]

Unrated Truth or Dare - Part II

Genre: Smut / Romance

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Words Number: 3042

Warning: Smut, Dubious consent

Summary: Ivar’s little plan backfires. Then, he shows you the consequences of your actions.

A/N: Here it is guys, sorry for the long wait.

Link to Part I

You took some time to collect yourself before walking through the enormous corridor and join them into the living room in what you hoped was a calm and dignified pose.

Ellie eyes you anxiously as you went back to your seat opposite Ivar. The latter was giving you a sardonic smile.

Don’t kill him Y/N! Don’t kill him!

He patted his jeans pocket and you were reminded that you were not wearing any undergarment. You could not help blushing. Embarrassed, you instinctively crossed your legs and folded your arms against your chest.

Bjorn cleared his throat. “Y/N, I believe this is your time to play now.”

Ivar’s smile widened. Clearly, he was waiting for you to take your revenge on him…but you would not give him the satisfaction to play his game. You turned to your friend.

“Ellie, truth or dare?”

“Err…truth.” She answered, almost afraid. She knew you by heart and it was quite obvious you were furious…and she was responsible for all this mess, she was the one who brought you here!

You couldn’t do that to her, though. Ivar was the asshole. “What is the oddest place where you had sex?”

Hvitserk bumped his shoulder against hers. “Oooh I like that one, babe.”

Ellie flushed but answered, nonetheless. Apparently, she did not only “work” with Hvitserk at the library. Nobody was surprised but you. Hvitserk seemed to be a real dog ready for a quick fucking session anytime, anywhere.

The game kept going and going, you did your best to keep your cool when confronted to one of Ivar’s questions. Dare was now out of the question, you knew what he was able to do.

Every time it was Ivar’s turn to play, he would turn to you with that annoying smirk of his.

“Y/N, when was the first time you kissed a boy? Y/N, are you a virgin? Y/N, have you ever had a threesome? When was the last time you sucked a cock?”

Every time you looked at him, almost bored and answered his question as if he was asking you what your favorite color was.

Ellie would look at you, half-apologizing half-begging for you not to make a scene in front of her boyfriend’s family. You tried your best. Really, you did. Ivar knew no limit, though.

“Y/N, truth or dare?”

Breathe, breathe. “Truth, of course.”

He smiled, you did not like that smile. Something was very wrong about it.

“Did you know that your ex-boyfriend is telling everyone you are a damn prude and an awful lay?”

You felt as if an ice bucket had been poured all over your body. Everyone who knew you knew that your ex-boyfriend a sensitive topic for you. He had no right to mention this, even if it was true. He did not know any limit but you had just reached yours. He wanted to play this game? Fine.

A fake smile stretched your lips. “Yes, I did. So…Ivar, truth or dare?”

If he was surprised that you were finally acknowledging him in the game, he did not show it. “Truth.”

Perfect. A fake smile still on your face, you leaned over him. “Did you know that Freydis, you know that sweet ex of yours, is telling everyone you could not get it up?”

He was mad, you could tell. His brothers had stopped breathing except for Sigurd who was looking at his younger brother with a malicious gleam in the eye. Ivar had lost his smile now and it was definitely not a good sign.

“Yes, I did. Y/N, did you know that your ex-boyfriend used to sleep with your best friend in high school while you were studying?”

Of course, you knew. That bitch was too nice to be true. “Yes, I did. Ivar, did you know that the child Freydis lost was not yours?”

Ellie grabbed your arm but you jerked it away from her touch. The others were watching the exchange in silence. The brothers knew better than to intervene, it would probably make things worse.

“Yeah…yeah, I did.” He answered between clenched teeth. Then, he snorted and let out a deep dark chuckle which sent shivers running down your spine. He looked up at you, amused.

“Y/N, did you know your own little sister used to give blowjobs to your ex?”

Your hand went to Ivar’s face of its own volition. The slap you gave him slammed like a whip in the air. Ubbe set a hand on Ivar’s should to appease him but he violently pushed it away. He tilted his head to the side, his tongue running upon his lower lip.

“I guess you didn’t know that one, then.”

You stood up, almost trembling with fury.

“I don’t know who you think you are but just because your name is Lothbrok doesn’t mean you have the right to humiliate everyone. “

You took a step closer. Ivar should have scared you – he was scaring everyone – but right now, you could have killed him.

“You know what I think? I think you did this little humiliation number tonight so that you could make someone feel more miserable than you do and to distract yourself from thinking about your own life and the fact that you’re such a loser, you did not succeed in putting the college bitch in your bed…plus, let’s not forget she got fucked by someone else while supposedly dating you.” Your lips curled up in disgust. “You are pathetic.”

Out of breath, your almost ran towards the entrance door, took your jacket from the coat rack and went out.

The nice October wind cooled down your cheeks, flushed with anger. You quickly walked through the streets of Copenhagen. They were surprisingly busy since it was Halloween. Most students were out to party and a few of them were already wandering drunkenly in the noisy streets. You tried to keep your eyes down, unwilling to catch any attention after this already messed up night.

The building where you lived soon came into view. You ran up a few steps and reached the room you were currently sharing with Ellie. You entered the room and slammed the door, letting out a breath you did not know you were holding.

All you needed right now was a good hot shower and a long night of sleep. You would deal with Ellie’s wrath tomorrow. It was her fault, after all. She should not have dragged you there, you had told her numerous times you did not want to go.

Moreover, Ivar had no right to mention such private things about your life, even if most people already knew about it. Your ex-boyfriend was a dick, your ex-best friend was a bitch and it seemed your little sister was an idiot and a traitor. To learn such a thing from Ivar’s lips and in front of strangers…Your blood boiled at the thought. You took a deep breath, willing to calm yourself down. He was not worth it, they were all not worth it.

Sighing, you took off your jacket and threw it nonchalantly on your desk. Someone knocked on the door. Ellie had probably forgotten her keys. You walked to the door, reminding yourself to remain calm and opened it.

“Alright, I know I messed up but…” It was not Ellie.

Ivar was here, supporting himself on his crutch. You tried to slam the door in his face but he had anticipated your move and opened the door wider with his shoulder. He pushed you away and came into the room, closing the door behind him. The two of you looked at each other defiantly.

“What the Hell are you doing here? You want another slap in the face?”

Ivar chuckled and held out a hand to show you your undergarments.

“Actually, I came here to give you those back. I told you I would put them back on, remember?”

Your eyes widened. You had gone outside with no panties or bra on. Ivar saw your embarrassment and smirked. You were tired of his games. Irritated, you tried to take them back but he pulled them out of your reach.

“I don’t have time for this. Either give them back or keep them but I want you to get out of my room.”

“Oh no, pet. You wanted to play? You won the first game but I am here to settle the score.”

He was really scaring you now. “Look, I don’t want to play any game. You just got what you deserved.”

“Really?” He took a few steps closer and you took a few steps back. “What about you? Did you get what you deserve?”

What? He took another few steps towards you. This time, you refused to show your fear and did not move an inch. You just hoped he would not hear your heart furiously beating in your chest.

“You deserve a nice and good fucking lesson.” Ivar let out in a dangerous whisper. His fingers grazed out your neck.

“And I suppose you’re the one who will teach me that lesson?” You raised your chin defiantly, refusing to let yourself being intimidated by him. You were a bit scared he might strangle you, though.

But he simply smiled. His fingers travelled down your body brushing your shirt, your skirt. He got closer and his scent hit your nose. It was nice…almost too nice.

“You play the disgusted act but I know better. “

His hand stopped on your hip. He leaned over you, his mouth was getting dangerously close to yours. You did not want to show any sign of discomfort but your breath quickened. Ivar looked at your chest, amused.

“See? You are craving it. You are calling for it.” You followed his stare and realized your nipples were pointing under your shirt.

“What are you talking about? I’m just cold.” Your hands pushed his chest but he did not bulge. “Move!”

He ignored your order. His hands kept travelling down your body. He touched your knee, your inner thigh… You wanted to move away from him but your body was frozen to the spot, both scared and aroused by his actions.

His fingers played with your curls and before you could react, he inserted one if his digits inside you. Your mouth opened in a silent gap.

“You are wet, my sweet Y/N.” He said mockingly and inserted another finger in your drenched core. “Who knew your little number was just a trap to get me there. You’re craving to be fucked, aren’t you?” He kept moving his fingers languidly. Your hands on his chest gripped his dark shirt.

“I can tell you like what I’m doing. The little prude is in fact a little bitch.”

His insult woke you up from your lusty daze. Your harshly pushed him away and his fingers left your sex as you slapped his face once again.

Silence fell on the room. You looked at him, he looked at you. His eyes took a darker and threatening shade, he pushed on his crutch and lurched forward. He grabbed you and threw you on the bed. His violent gesture ripped your shirt apart, offering your bouncing breasts to his view. He let himself fall over you and pulled your knees apart with his hands. His hips met yours, letting your feel the bulge in his pants.

Your eyed widened. He could get it up! Ivar had followed your train of thoughts.

“See? You shouldn’t believe everything you hear on the campus. Just because I didn’t fuck Freydis doesn’t mean I can’t fuck at all.” He smiled darkly. “And I’m going to show you how good I can fuck you.”

Oh no! You would not let him get you that easily. Trying to ignore the nagging pulse of your pussy, you violently wiggled against him. You slapped, you scratched but nothing made him move.

Somehow, he managed to grab your hands between his big one while his other hand sneaked underneath your skirt. His talented fingers entered your sex once again. Your head fell backwards on your pillow. You were enjoying it in spite of yourself.

“Good, isn’t it?”

You glared at him. If you wanted to, you could try and kick him but you did not wish to hurt his legs. Instead, you pushed your thighs against his hips, trying to enclose him in between them. You tilted your hips upwards to create some friction that could destabilize him. He only groaned and increased the pace of his fingers as a punishment.

A loud moan fell from your lips, getting even louder when his thumb rubbed your clit. A jolt of electricity ran through your body. Your thighs pressed against his hips even harder, you did not want him to get a chance to escape. He owed this orgasm after all!

That is when he stopped. Your eyes opened and you groaned in frustration. He was looking at you with that awfully sexy smirk on his face. He licked his fingers which were glistening with your juices.

“So, this is the lesson you wanted to give me; leaving me all hot and bothered?”

“Nah…” He touched your cheek with his wet fingers and you turned your head, angered by his behavior. “I just figured you might like something bigger.”

“Like what? Sigurd’s dick?” The answer flew from you lips. It was your turn to smirk.

He frowned. “I’ll give you Sigurd’s dick, you little…”

“Shut up and fuck me already!”

Ivar was so surprised he released your hands from his vicious grip. Deeply annoyed by his lack of reaction, you unbuckled his pants and pulled them down his ass, along with his boxer shorts. You fully encircled his dick. Ivar finally showed some reaction as a groan escaped from his lips. He kneaded your breasts, mashing them with his big hands before lowering his head. His lips took the place of his hands. He harshly tugged on your lips with his teeth. You moaned at the pleasuring pain.

You stroked him harder and faster. There was no way you would leave him the upper hand. But he put his hand on yours and stopped your delicious torture on his body.

“That is not how I wish to finish.”

You retrieved your hand and let him guide himself to your entrance. He suddenly paused. “Please, tell me you’re on birth control.” A willing pussy was always so tempting but he was no Hvitserk to be that reckless and deal with an unwanted pregnancy.

You nodded fervently. Sighing in relief, Ivar dived into you. You screamed. The pleasure was intense. He was big, filling you in the most perfect way. You understood now why sex with your ex was not that good. You were not the problem, he was.

Ivar started moving slowly, then faster. His hands were viciously pulling at your hips for you to meet his thrusts. He was using you like a doll, except he was paying attention to your reactions, closely watching your face distorted with pleasure.

The urge to touch his skin was strong so you pulled at his tee-shirt to get rid of it. When his chest came into view, you caressed and scratched it. He was full of muscles, so well built it was almost unfair…better enjoy it while you could.

You embraced him and your upper bodies met. The skin on skin feeling was exquisite. Ivar seemed to enjoy it as well, he nuzzled your neck and nipped at it. His thrusts were becoming harsher. You could tell he was close and wanted you to reach your end before he did. Feeling revengeful, you clenched your walls around him.

“Oh no you little slut…” He whispered hotly against your ear. You felt one of his hands slide between your bodies to play with your most sensitive place. He circled it furiously and you clenched harder. Your nails dug in his back, drawing blood. He bit at your neck in response.

This could have looked like a fight except for the savage grunts that were leaving his mouth…and the whimpers which left yours.

There was no doubt the other students were hearing you. After that, people would definitely stop calling you a pride – quite the contrary.

Ivar was rutting into you by now. Your bodies danced with each other. You were so close to each other, one could have thought you were one.

His thumb pushed one last time on your clit and you came undone, seeing stars. Ivar gave one final hard thrust and spilled himself into you.

You stayed there; your sweating bodies intertwined and your heavy breathes mingling until he left your body. You whimpered at the loss, feeling his cum dripping from your cunt.

Ivar stood up with the help of his crutch and got dressed. You suddenly felt ashamed of your behavior and stared at the ceiling, refusing to meet his mocking stare.

“Bottoms up.”

You frowned, intrigued. When you set your eyes on him, you noticed he was holding your green panties. “I promised I would pull them back on myself, didn’t I?”

He slid the fabric up your legs. You raised your ass so that he could cover your skin with it. Then it was the turn of your bra that he surprisingly clasped with ease. He looked at you; hair disheveled, cheeks flushed, chest rapidly rising, your covered pussy still filled with his cum.

“Call me when you feel the need to take them off again.”

“When Hell freezes over.”

He smiled. A real smile, this time. “I guess I’ll see you soon, then.”

He softly closed the door behind him. Lying awake on your bed, you tried to analyze the madness that this night had been. Sleeping with a man like that was so out of character for you but something was telling you that you would see him very soon indeed.

Tagging (please tell me if you want to be added or removed): @naaladareia​ @tephi101​ @therealcalicali​ @peaceisadirtyword​ @akamaiden​ @ivarswickedqueen​ @captstefanbrandt​ @thevikingsheaux​ @mblaqgi​ @the-greenestofbeans​ @tinyfistwarrior​

[romansleftshoulderpad]

Almost Had You (But I Guess That Doesn’t Cut It)

Tags: @fandermom @my-analogical-romance @patchworkofstars @poisonedapples @hogwarts-my-love @opaque-puppet 

Words: 1,706

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of doing drugs, the word “slut” used in lyrics, weed, Deceit and Remus mentioned but not by name

Ship: Prinxiety

Quick note: the formatting might be a little off on mobile, but it works fine on AO3!

---

I almost got drunk at school at 14 Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen.

It had been 12 years since Roman and Virgil met. It had been 10 since they became friends. It had been 8 since they started dancing around each other like pining, gay ballerinas.

Who almost went off to be Ms. Texas, But lost to a slut with much bigger breastes.

Roman could remember the exact moment he started to fall in love. It was the end of their senior year. They had been messing around in Virgil’s “studio”, an extra walk-in closet in his dad’s apartment. Virgil was painting a stormy sky while Roman played around with an old guitar that hadn’t been touched in years (save for specks of paint and purple storm clouds painted on the wood). Roman had been messing around with different chords but he found himself enchanted by Virgil. His bangs were tied back into a bun and his arms were covered in white, lilac, and navy blue. His tongue stuck out between his lips in concentration as he tried to paint the moon just right.

That’s when it hit Roman. He could easily see them doing just the same in 20, 30, or 40 years. Maybe in a different town, maybe with different hairstyles or clothes, but still them. Still happy. Still soft and domestic.

Married. He could see them together and in love. It was terrifying, but as he closed his eyes, he played a love song.

I almost dropped out to move to LA Where I was Almost famous for Almost a day.

It was college that separated them. Roman was going to a fancy music school and Virgil wasn’t going anywhere. It was one of the worst fights they’d ever had.

“Come on, Virge! It’ll be perfect!” Roman pleaded.

“Perfect for you, maybe,” Logan muttered.

“Oh shut up, nerdy wolverine,” Roman snapped.

“Even combined, how are we supposed to afford an apartment in L.A?” Virgil asked, not looking up from his sketchbook.

“We’ll figure it out!”

“You mean I’ll figure it out while you get a degree.”

“Just forget about rent,” Roman said. “We’d have so much fun! We can watch Tim Burton movies every week and cook together and go on adventures!”

“Roman, if I may add some input-“

“Logan,” Virgil said quietly, “can you give us a moment alone, please?”

“Don’t sign any contracts without a lawyer present,” Logan said, and with that, he left.

“Roman, I can’t just pack up and leave because you need a roommate,” Virgil said. “I’m not even sure why you’re asking me anyway. Obviously, there are better options.”

“Better options?”

“Yes! Like Logan-“ Roman scoffed. “Or Remy! Or even your brother!”

“I’ve lived with my brother for far too long, thank you very much,” Roman said. “But why do you think there’s better options? Why is it so hard to imagine me wanting to be closer to you?” Virgil chewed on his lip, visibly becoming more anxious. “Virgil, you’re my friend. I care about you.”

“You shouldn’t!” Virgil yelled but it echoed like a scream. Tears pricked at his eyes and as Roman took a step forward he took a step back. “I gotta go.” He grabbed his backpack and ran out of the door before Roman could go after him.

I almost held up a grocery store Where I almost did five years and then seven more

Virgil was 22 and living with a friend of the brother of a friend. It sucked. He spent most of his nights' painting and wondering how much better his life would be if he had said “yes” to Roman’s offer. He picked up a drawn on canvas he had titled “Two Lovers” And began to paint as his thoughts spiraled.

Instead of loud music and loud... other sounds coming from his roommate’s bedroom, he’d at least only have to deal with Disney songs and rapping along to Hamilton. And yes, Virgil would have to admit, watching The Nightmare Before Christmas would be a lot more enjoyable than airing out the living room to get rid of the smell of weed.

He looked at the painting. The two lovers were still just a sketch. He took a pencil and adjusted one of the lovers to be male instead of female. “Could be gayer,” he mumbled to himself as he did so.

What would watching movies with Roman be like anyway? Virgil grabbed a clean brush and started painting in the couch the lovers sat on. He’d be annoying and talk through the whole film, of course. Probably eats popcorn way too loudly. Of course, he would have been the one insistent on making popcorn. Probably homemade because he would insist that it’s superior to the bagged stuff.

He’d probably fall asleep during the movie. It’d be far too much of ask of the arrogant asshole to actually appreciate art. He’d lean onto Virgil as he’d begin to doze off. He’d pretend to yawn and put his arm sound Virgil’s shoulders, holding him tight. Virgil chewed his lip as he painted. He worked on the lovers’ clothes and skin. Roman was always a deep sleeper; he’d be impossible to wake up. This would, of course, keep Virgil trapped on the couch. Virgil hated being trapped.

But would being stuck with Roman even be a bad thing? Virgil had slept on plenty of couches before, surely it wouldn’t be worse to share that space with someone warm holding you tight. Roman’s heartbeat would be calming and lull Virgil to sleep.

Cause I almost got popped for a fight with a thug Cause he almost ran off with a bunch of the drugs That I almost got hooked on cause you ran away.

Virgil looked at the two lovers holding each other tight and dressed in red and purple.

And I wish I would have had the nerve to ask you to stay.

Roman dropped out of that college after two years. It was a tough choice, but it was for the best. He’d looked at a picture from his high school graduation. He wasn’t the same anymore, but that wasn’t a bad thing. He just had new interests and passions.

And at 26 he was going back to a new college to pursue a writing degree. But he kept drifting back to that graduation photo. He hadn’t seen Virgil in 5 years, but he still had a soft spot for him. He still had so many things left to say.

Here I go thinking ‘bout all the things I could’ve done.

He pulled out his laptop.

I’m gonna need a forklift cause all the baggage weighs a ton.

Virgil pulled the rest of his boxes out of the moving truck. He finally got away from roommates and memories of the past. He was free.

He opened a box labeled “Paintings” and saw it staring back at him. The two lovers.

I know we had our problems. I can’t remember one.

Roman kept typing. It was a stupid email to write to someone he hadn’t seen in years but getting all of these feelings out was pure ecstasy.

I almost forgot to say something else And if I can’t fit it in I’ll keep it all to myself.

Virgil put the painting in a frame and hung it up in his unfurnished living room.

I almost wrote a song about you today. But I tore it all up and then I threw it away.

Roman deleted the email.

And I Almost had you, But I guess that doesn’t cut it.

Both of them sat, miles apart, staring at their screens and silently begging for contact. For nostalgia. For a second chance.

Virgil hated risk. He hated change. Yet, as he looked around at the unpacked boxes, he knew a tiny bit of change between him and Roman wouldn’t make that much of a difference. He picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts.

Almost had you.

Ringing. And ringing. And ringing.

“Hello? Who is this?”

Virgil’s heart raced. He hated phone calls and Roman probably didn’t want to talk to him anyway and- oh this was such a bad idea. “R- Roman?” he asked, his mouth dry. “It’s Virgil. You still live in L.A right?”

“Virgil,” Roman repeated. His heart was beating just as fast. “It’s been a while. And yeah- yeah I still live here.” He took a deep breath. “How are you?”

“I, uh, just moved to California. Exciting, right? Uh, and I- I was wondering...” He took a deep breath and tried to steady his shaking hands. He exhaled slowly. “Do you want to grab coffee?”

And I didn’t even know it.

“Coffee,” Roman said with a smile. “Coffee would be great. You can tell me where you’re near and I can meet you somewhere. You must be tired.”

“You have no idea,” Virgil said with a laugh. He glanced to the painting and let his anxieties melt away. He smiled. “I’ve missed you.”

“I- I’ve missed you too,” Roman said, barely above a whisper. He wondered if Virgil could hear his smile.

“Meet me at 4?”

“4,” Roman said. “See you there.”

You kept me guessin’ And now I’m destined To spend my time missing you.

He looked the same way he did six years ago. He had his hair pulled back into a bun with colors on his arms, only now they were stray tattoos and not paint splatters. He looked more tired and spaced out. Surely from the stress of moving, but Roman was one hundred percent ready to take this man home and properly lull him to sleep.

Roman was different though. Dressed to impress as if meeting a stranger and not an ex-best friend. It was appropriate, almost. They had become strangers. Almost. Strangers didn’t spend years thinking of one another.

“Virgil,” Roman said with a smile and open arms.

“Princey,” Virgil said with a smile, falling into his open arms and holding him tight. Past fights and years of regrets faded away. They were together now, and Virgil knew he’d have his chance.

I almost wish you would have loved me

Wish you would have loved me too.

[rafandro]

Three of a Kind (1/3)

This is purely for fun, and not real in any way, shape, or form. Please do not post this anywhere else without my permission. If you want to post on your blog, please be cautious when tagging.

Summary: Ronen is polyamorous and in a relationship with his ex co-star Alberto. Then Ronen starts a relationship with his new co-star Rafael.

Rating: M (this part)

Warnings: polyamory, hand jobs, making out, falling in love, sex, threesomes

Note: I’ve been thinking of posting these stories on AO3. I can post anon and still get to see the comments and stuff from them, just my name won’t be attached to it. What do you all think? Keep it on tumblr only? Post on AO3 only? Post on both? Let me know!

Ronen’s always had a lot of love to give. When he was a kid he was hugging everyone; family, friends...strangers. Which is something his parents would frown upon and have to apologize to the person he hugged.

As he got older it turned into having multiple girlfriends. High school was a wild time and he was going from one girl to the next, or if he wasn’t careful he had two girlfriends at once, which never ended well.

When he got out of high school and really out in the world polyamory was thrown around and it kind of stuck. Ronen loved the idea of having multiple partners. He could have a girlfriend and a boyfriend or whatever and his partners were supportive for the most part. There were a couple that didn’t get it no matter how he explained it.

Which led him to dating his co-star, Alberto. They met on the set of Dead of Summer and clicked right away. They had fun on and off set Ronen had told Alberto about being polyamory, the man didn’t blink an eye and just said “Cool...me too.” The show was cancelled after one season they were sad but knew new shows and movies were being sent to them every day. Plus they had each other.

They had their relationship, but would go off into others. Ronen would go back to New York to visit his family and meet someone for the week or so he was there, but come home to Alberto. Alberto in turn had his flings and relationships but Ronen was his number one.

When Alberto started on Station 19 they drifted apart for a while. Ronen was wanting to spread his wings and trying to get a gig. He started dating some girl, who was great, but wasn’t what he wanted. Alberto was busy getting his new show off the ground. He was part of the Shrondaverse now so that meant he was a huge deal. He had ABC and Disney calling him all the time which made Ronen slightly jealous. He was happy for his boyfriend, but at the same time wanted to work as well.

Finally the call came that Ronen was cast in a new show. Ryan Murphy produced, no less. Ronen couldn’t believe he was going to be on a show playing Rob Lowe’s son. He and Alberto celebrated that night with a bottle of champagne. Alberto was so happy for him. 

The producers had him come in for chemistry reads to cast his love interest. There were a couple of guys that were good, but when the last guy walked in, Rafael something, his heart stopped. He was handsome, musicular, and his smile was bright.

They went through the two scenes together. And the police station scene was just...out of this world. Ronen felt something that he hadn’t felt with the others. There was something there. Rafael left after that and as soon as the door closed Ronen turned to the casting director and went, “That’s him.”

Thankfully the show agreed and they hired Rafael a week before shooting started. Ronen tells Alberto about Rafael while they’re having dinner that night. His whole face lights up when he talks about him.

“You really like him, huh?” Alberto asks.

“He’s great. New to acting but still. Oh my god, I wish you could’ve seen him,” Ronen replies.

Alberto smiles at his boyfriend, “He sounds wonderful.”

“I can’t wait for you to meet him,” Ronen replies, “Seriously he’s a great guy.”

“All that from a five minute chemistry read?” Alberto teases.

Ronen blushes, “It was really intense. Okay? I haven’t had something like that in a long time.”

“I’m only teasing, baby,” Alberto replies. He takes Ronen’s hand in his, “Also if he’s half as gorgeous as you say I can’t wait to see a photo.”

-----

Once filming starts Ronen doesn’t get to see Rafael for a week. They’re filming so many scenes out of order that it’s hard to get any time to see each other before it’s time to shoot the dance scene. They had a small rehearsal with everyone to learn to two step but Ronen was so caught up in trying to learn the dance they didn’t talk much. Plus Rafael was kind of quiet and stuck to himself while they rehearsed.

The whole cast is on set when Ronen finally gets to talk to Rafael. They’re setting up for the dance scene and the director has them go through the basics of what’s going to happen. Ronen mostly gets to watch before Rafael comes up to him asking to dance. 

“You ready?” Rafael asks.

Ronen looks over at him, “Yeah, hey man. Haven’t seen you since the chemistry read.”

Rafael smiles at him, “It’s been a wild experience. Can’t believe I’m filming with Liv Tyler! And Rob Lowe!” He makes a noise like his head is exploding which makes Ronen smile.

“I feel that,” Ronen replies, “How’s everything else?”

“Good, just taking it all in and learning a lot,” Rafael answers.

“Alright, everyone time to get rolling!” The AD says and everyone moves into their spots.

They film each individual part first first, Ronen and Rafael’s close ups are last. They have fun during the actual dancing part. Rafael gets Ronen to smile as they shimmy together. When the camera isn’t on them Ronen likes to make silly faces at Rafael to get him to laugh, which gets them dirty looks from the AD and tells them more than once to stop. Rafael gets red in the face and apologizes on their behalf.

“Dude,” Ronen whispers, “It’s okay. You don’t have to be all...whatever.”

“I don’t want to be fired before it even begins,” Rafael replies, “This is my first gig and I don’t want it to be my last.”

Ronen shakes his head, “You’re too pretty for it to be your only gig.”

Rafael blushes at the comment.

When they get through the scene and they’re allowed to leave for the night, Ronen throws his arm around Rafael’s shoulders as they walk back to their trailers.

“I can’t wait to film more with you,” Ronen says to the man.

Rafael nods, “I’m looking forward to it.”

“We should hang out sometime. Get to know each other better,’ Ronen says, testing the waters, “I mean we’re going to be on camera making out and stuff so might as well get used to each other.”

“I wouldn’t mind that,” Rafael agrees, “Um, do you want to hang out tonight? I don’t really have anywhere to be.”

Ronen’s about to answer when his phone rings. On the screen is a picture of Alberto, he almost lets it go to voicemail but if his boyfriend is calling him this late when he knows they’re both filming it must be something important.

“Uh, let me get back to you,” Ronen answers, “I need to take this call.”

“I’ll be at my trailer,” Rafael says but Ronen’s already turning his back and his phone is at his ear.

“Hey, baby,” Ronen greets, “How are you?”

“I...” Alberto trails off, “I don’t know. Are you almost done for the night?”

“Actually we wrapped up a few minutes ago. Are you okay? Shouldn’t you be filming?” Ronen asks back.

Alberto sniffs, “I...I’m being killed off. They just told me.”

“What? Baby, oh my god. Are you...do want me...” Ronen’s at a loss for words, “I’ll be home soon. Okay? Are you home? Do you need me to come get you at the studio?”

“I’m heading home now,” Alberto replies.

“Are you okay to drive?” Ronen asks.

Alberto sniffs again, “Y-yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll see you at home.”

Ronen sighs, “I love you. I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“I love you too,” Alberto replies.

Ronen rushes through getting undressed from his costume and into the clothes he came in. He grabs his keys and is rushing out the door of his trailer when he sees Rafael standing at the bottom of the steps.

“Shit,” Ronen exclaims, “I mean I’m sorry. My, uh, my boyfriend called. Can we reschedule?”

“B-boyfriend? Uh yeah, yeah sure. Is everything okay?” Rafael asks.

Ronen shakes his head, “I can’t say much because he works on another show but he got some bad news. He’s really upset.”

“I’m sorry,” Rafael lamely replies, “Um, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

Ronen nods, “Yeah, I guess. I am sorry. If he hadn't called...”

“Relationships come first,” Rafael says, “Go, go. I’ll see you in the morning.”

------

At home Ronen finds Alberto with a glass of whiskey in his hand and his face wet from crying. He pulls the man into a hug and lets him cry about how it’s all ending. They both knew it was coming, the way the storylines had been written but it was still hard to see it happen. How he was being shot and killed off. Ronen lets him rant and cry until he falls into a restless sleep.

The next day, Alberto wakes and is melancholy but gets up to start his day. Ronen gives him a blow job in the shower to try to cheer him up, but it does little to help his mood. Ronen says he can call out, see if they can reschedule his scenes but Alberto shakes his head telling him to go to set. There’s no point in making a bad impression when you just started filming. Ronen kisses him with a promise to call later.

On set, Ronen puts on a smile for everyone. Rafael asks about what happened but Ronen shakes his head and just tells him his boyfriend will be alright.

They go through the scene a couple of times, making sure Rafael and Ronen are comfortable with what’s to come. It’s the first sex scene for their characters and it’s hot. A little savage and at the end has them rolling off the couch. Ronen and Rafael work through the roll more than once making sure neither of them gets hurt when they roll onto the mat. Ronen may get a little hard at how close they are.

When action is called the door of the set slams open and they’re making out. Rafael pushes him against the wall and woah, it’s a little harder than Ronen thought but damn if it isn’t hot. They push and pull at each other’s clothes before Ronen’s shirtless and pushed onto the couch. Rafael throws his shirt off and fuck if Ronen wasn’t hard already he would’ve been now. Rafael is a beautiful man and his chest is just so hard.

Rafael moves on top of Ronen and kisses him and just as they’re about to roll onto the floor the director yells, “Cut.”

Rafael pulls his lips off of Ronen’s and with a smile pushes himself off the other man. Ronen smiles back, “That was good.”

“Can’t say I have any complaints myself,” Rafael replies.

“We’re going to go from when Rafael pulls his shirt off,” the AD says, “Ronen stay where you’re at. Rafael shirt back on please.”

Rafael moves off the couch and grabs his shirt from the floor. The wardrobe people come to put it back on to make sure the buttons are still there and it looks the same as before. When everyone is happy with the shot they clear the set and call action again.

Rafael’s shirt comes off again and Ronen’s breath is taken away. Even though he knows it’s coming it’s still a sight to see. Rafael gently falls on top of him and his arm comes up like they rehearsed so they can fall onto the floor. Ronen’s arm goes around the man as they tilt and they fall onto the map.

Ronen laughs once “cut” is called. 

“Oh man that was more fun than the rehearsals,” Ronen says from his position on top of Rafael.

Rafael smiles back up at him, “Can’t say I’m complaining either.”

They have to redo the whole scene a couple of more times before they’re given the okay for lunch. They make their way to the food truck and eat lunch together, laughing and joking. Ronen learns about Rafael immigrating from Brazil when he was a kid and how hard it was. Ronen was younger when he came over to the US from Israel but still knows what it’s like.

They find they have a lot in common and it makes it easier when it’s time to go back to filming. They finish in the early afternoon and have the rest of the day off, so Ronen suggests they hang out for a while.

Rafael agrees and soon both are dressed back into their street clothes and walking out to their cars.

“Wanna come back to my place?” Rafael asks.

“Sure,” Ronen replies without thinking.

Rafael gives him the address of an apartment complex not too far from the studio and Ronen plugs it into Apple Maps, “I’ll meet you there.”

“There’s guest parking,” Rafael replies, “Just follow me and I’ll show you were to go.”

Ronen smiles, “Sounds great. Parking in LA is the worst!”

Rafael laughs, “New York isn’t much better.”

-----

They end up hanging out at Rafael’s and he makes them dinner. Ronen checks in with Alberto a few times to make sure he’s okay and Alberto replies with emojis varying from happy to sad. Ronen asks multiple times if he wants him to come home, but Alberto tells him to have fun. And to use protection which gets an eye roll emoji from Ronen.

As the night winds down and Ronen looks at his phone for the hundredth time Rafael comments on it.

Ronen sighs, “I feel bad having all this fun while Alberto is at home, wallowing.”

Rafael looks at the time on his phone, “It is getting late and I have an early call time tomorrow...”

“I should go,” Ronen says, “I didn’t know you had to go in early.”

Rafael shakes his head and pulls at his wrist stopping the man, “It’s fine. I’m used to late nights and little sleep. All the joys of college life.”

Ronen looks down at Rafael from where he’s standing. Rafael hadn’t let go of his wrist once Ronen had stopped moving. Ronen doesn’t think before he moves into Rafael’s lap and kisses him. Rafael is taken off guard but gets with it pretty quickly.

Rafael pulls back first and pushes at Ronen, “Wait, you have a boyfriend.”

Ronen shrugs, “And?”

“And we shouldn’t be making out on my couch,” Rafael says and pushes Ronen off of him so he’s sat next to him on the couch.

“He won’t mind,” Ronen says, “Honestly, he’s cool with it.”

Rafael looks at him, confused, “He’s fine with you making out with other guys?”

Ronen shrugs, “Something like that. Seriously, he’s cool.”

“I’m not a side piece,” Rafael says, “I don’t do that shit. Ruin relationships or whatever.”

“You’re not,” Ronen replies, “I...I’m poly.”

“Wh-what?” Rafael questions back.

Ronen sighs, “I’m polyamorous. Alberto and I both are. We have our relationship but have other relationships as well. As long as we’re both honest with each other and don’t bring any of it home unless discussed we’re allowed other partners outside of our relationship.”

“Oh,” Rafael replied, “I, uh, I see. And making out with your co-stars is...”

Ronen blushes, “Not something I normally do.”

“And what if said co-star was actually really, really into it,” Rafael teases. His hand coming up to land on Ronen’s thigh.

Ronen smiles at him, “I would say that I can get with the program.”

Rafael moves and presses his mouth to Ronen’s taking the groan that came from the man into his mouth. Ronen’s arms wind their way back around Rafael and pull him down so they’re laying across the couch. Rafael’s hand trails up his thigh and over his hardening cock before moving under his shirt. 

Ronen’s hand trails down Rafael’s back and lands on his ass pushing them together. Rafael’s erection brushes with Ronen’s through their clothes and both moan into each other. Rafael’s hands explore more and he gets his hand down Ronen’s pants to pull at his hard cock. 

Ronen whines into his mouth and pulls away to catch his breath, “Keep doing that...and I’ll come in my pants.”

Rafael laughs into his neck, “That’s the plan.”

Ronen whines when Rafael’s hand twists at the head of his cock. They connect again in a kiss, Rafael dominating it. Ronen’s cries get shorter and shorter the closer he gets to coming and he warns Rafael when he’s about to. Rafael slows his hand making Ronen whine, “P-please, I’m s-so close.”

Rafael pushes Ronen’s pants down so his cock is freed and his hand wraps back around it. He pumps Ronen’s cock and Ronen bites down on his shoulder as he cries out when he comes. Rafael strokes him through it making Ronen whine when it’s too much.

Rafael’s hand moves away and his lips go to peak at Ronen’s. Ronen sighs into the kiss.

“That was...” Ronen says but stops.

Rafael kisses his cheek, “I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

“Give me a minute and I can return the favor,” Ronen says.

Rafael buries his face into Ronen’s neck and shakes his head, “Don’t.”

“What’s that?” Ronen asks.

“I said don’t,” Rafael replies.

“Oh...” Ronen trails off, “I, uh, I okay.”

Rafael kisses his cheek before whispering in his ear, “I already came.”

It takes Ronen a minute to get it, “Oh...OH, wow that’s, okay, wow.”

“I’m so embarrassed,” Rafael says.

Ronen’s hands come up to pull at Rafael’s head and he pulls the other man’s face to his, “It’s actually kind of hot.” And he pulls him down into another kiss.

-----

Ronen leaves Rafael’s with a kiss and a promise to go out again. On the way home, Ronen texts Alberto he’s on his way and Alberto responds with a smiley face and thumbs up emoji. Ronen feels guilty for making out and getting a hadnjob from Rafael when Alberto’s at home, still upset about being killed off. He can’t tell the man what happened without feeling like he failed in some way.

When he gets home he begs off saying he needs a shower before talking and Alberto let’s him go. He takes his time washing up and getting ready for bed before he can’t delay it any longer and he moves into the bedroom where Alberto is laying in their bed, the dogs laying at the foot.

Ronen crawls into his side of the bed and cuddles up to Alberto’s side, “How was your day?”

“Fine, how was work?” Alberto asks.

“We did the sex scene,” Ronen answers, “It was pretty hot.”

“Oh yeah, with your new hunky love interest,” Alberto teases, “What’s his name? Rafael?”

“Yeah, Rafael Silva,” Ronen replies, “He’s great. Moved from Brazil when he was like thirteen or something.”

“Oh, a Brazilian man,” Alberto teases, “Now that’s something I can get behind...or in front of.”

Ronen blushes, “I may have gotten under him.”

“No shit,” Alberto replies, “Bagging another one of your co-stars?”

“Shut up...it’s nothing like that,” Ronen says pushing playfully at the man, “He’s a great guy. So smart. Like it’s mind blowing.”

“Mind Blowing, huh?”

“Oh my God, I hate you!”

Alberto pulls Ronen closer and kisses his cheek, “I’m sorry, babe, but it was right there. I had to say something...seriously though. You know the rules.”

Ronen kisses Alberto’s lips, “You’re the best, you know that?”