#i feel like that if something horrible HORRIBLE as the level that twitter people act was actually happening

[sillygh0st]

the way qsmptwt expects some ccs/admins to leave is so egregious, and that behavior is as parasocial as die hard cc defenders. "i KNOW they're gonna leave," did they tell you directly?? it's been especially bad with the french cc's. the copypastas of their characters fates (where Pierre betrayed them and the rest died heroically) is so fucking weird. and don't even get me started on how people responded to etoiles not joining the qsmp awards. "he's not there cause he's leaving the server!!!" except HE WAS ON A MENTAL HEALTH BREAK. but i guess his mental health didn't matter to them, all that mattered was validating their rage/hatred. just... it's so, so bad.

I tottaly agree about what you said anon!!!! Like, we dont know the streamers (and even less the admins), so we cant expect them to react in X or Y ways just bc we act like we do know them, its simply parasocial expect that a cc/admin will react in the same way as you!!! I stoped using twitter for like now 3 weeks for mental health issues, so I didn't know that people were doing this with Pierre oh god????? Also i trought that It was obvlious that etoiles wasnt going to partcipate in the qsmp awards, he was taking a time out of livestream and stuff for mental health, so I simply dont get how those people assume this 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I fell like people on twitter act like they are better than the rest, but actually they are usually the most parasocial ones lol

And I also fell like that people just were already not liking qsmp in general or stoped liking It so now they got the "excuse" to actually trown hate, bc If those type of people ACTUALLY cared about the admins situations they would be more mature about that, and wish that best will happen, not that the worse will happen

(1am for me im so fucking sleepy so probally im not thinking straight sorry lol)

[akumajoaurora]

Castlevania Games Do Have a Story (And Why It’s Important That It Stays Subtle)

Ok so this is basically an expanded writeup of some loose thoughts I posted to Twitter earlier today in response to the news that the God of War Ragnarok guy wants to do a Castlevania game, but this is something I’ve been thinking about for a long time, so I figured it deserves to be on a long form post and not just Three Sentences Per Post Dot Com.

A big criticism of Castlevania that I hear pretty frequently is “Oh, it has no story”. However, this is untrue- Castlevania games very much do have a story, they’re just not presented in the format that most people are used to. 

A lot of story-driven video games play out somewhat like a TV show or a novel. You get to watch the story play out from start to finish, with characters talking to each other, and often moving and acting as though you were watching TV. There’s nothing wrong with this format- I enjoy it a lot myself! Everyone who knows me knows I’m a big fan of Devil May Cry, after all. But this isn’t the only way to tell a story.

With the exception of a few games (mainly Lament of Innocence and Curse of Darkness), Castlevania has a much different format. While there are some cutscenes, they’re generally much more limited and there aren’t very many per game; In some of the really old games, there really isn’t much dialogue at all, and instead the main plot points are given to you in scrolling text at the beginning and end of the game or in the game’s manual. This is important because it pushes you, the player, to engage with the text. The story is there, but how deep does it run? How does each game play into the overall saga of Castlevania? That’s what you have to discover for yourself, and clues can often be found in the level design, the music, and flavor text.

To give an example, let’s analyze one of my personal favorites story-wise, Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest. 

This game takes place 7 years after the original Castlevania. Our friend Simon Belmont, now 29 years old, has already killed Dracula. However, he begins to feel gravely ill, and fears he may be on his deathbed. He goes to the family cemetery to contemplate this, and a mysterious unknown woman appears to him, who tells him that he’s been cursed by Dracula. In order to save himself, he will need to collect five scattered pieces of Dracula’s corpse, use them to resurrect Dracula, and then kill him again, all within seven days or he will die. The mystery woman then disappears.

Simon travels the land in search of the Dracula relics. Along the way he, of course, fights monsters, and also talks to the ordinary people of Transylvania in search of clues; Some of them are nice or even flirtatious towards him, but a lot are openly hostile, and will lie to him or try to scam him. Every night, Simon’s curse worsens, and the famous words “What a horrible night to have a curse...” appear as more and more monsters start to come out. During this time the player is unable to go indoors. Depending on how long it takes you to complete the game, Simon either dies fighting Dracula, or survives and frees himself from the curse. He then is seen making a grave for Dracula. This is the text of the good ending:

"The encounter with Dracula is terminated. Simon Belmont has put an end to the eternal darkness in Transylvania. His blood and sweat have penetrated the earth and will induce magic and happiness for those who walk on this land."

So, what can we get out of this short, dialogue-lite game? Let’s take a look.

Even though Simon has already defeated Dracula, the fight is not over. He can’t truly escape his family legacy, and the ongoing battle between man and vampire. Simon, like many Belmonts, is trapped within a cycle of violence- Even when he does what he’s “supposed” to do. It’s manifesting in an extremely physical way that forces him to engage with the conflict- If he were to do nothing, the curse would quite literally kill him within a week.

Simon is a thoughtful and spiritual person who respects his family greatly. Rather than getting angry about his condition, giving up, or even asking a doctor, he went to his family cemetery to contemplate in the presence of his ancestors. The fact that he seemingly didn’t go to a doctor brings me to my next point...

Simon is largely disliked by his neighbors- Even though, again, he’s already killed Dracula. A common element of Castlevania games is that the Belmont family are feared and distrusted for their magic powers and their proximity to the supernatural, and this is certainly true for Simon. Still he continues to fight.

Despite this, he clearly still has someone looking out for him. Who is the mystery woman? Is she an ancestor spirit (Sypha, perhaps)? Is she a witch? An anonymous admirer? Either way, she cares enough for Simon to help him in his time of need.

Simon is, ultimately, a deeply kind and caring person. Even though Dracula caused so many people horrible suffering, including Simon himself, he still took the time to build a grave for Dracula. He showed respect even for his greatest enemy and went out of his way to provide him dignity in death.

In the end, the people finally recognized Simon’s good deeds, and he was hailed as a hero... But at what cost? It’s worth noting the specific phrasing, “his blood and sweat have penetrated the earth”. Simon had to give so much of himself, very much putting his life on the line in order to keep humanity safe. The burden of heroism is an extremely heavy one.

Simon’s Quest becomes even more poignant when put into place with the wider Castlevania timeline. Simon is one of so many Belmonts to be feared and hated by his neighbors, give everything in order to save them, and finally win their respect- But at a very high cost. Again and again this cycle plays out. It’s also worth mentioning that Simon’s Quest is the origin of the famous background music track, “Bloody Tears”. Interesting name, isn’t it? Whose tears are they? Are they Simon’s- Is the curse ravaging him so badly that he’s literally crying blood as he keeps fighting? Are they the tears of the Belmont clan, unable to escape their fate? Or maybe tears shed for, or perhaps by, the spirits of all those who have lost their lives to Dracula? Worth thinking about. 

Every Castlevania game has a story, and all of them come together to create a much wider tale of life, death, and rebirth, generational trauma, the cosmic battle between good and evil, the nature of humanity, finding light in the darkness, and why we keep fighting. Like the gothic novels it draws from, it poses many questions about the nature of life, death, suffering, and what it means to be human. The format in which this story is told is a unique one that encourages introspection and participation. If you’re someone who enjoys media analysis, I highly recommend the Castlevania series.

Ultimately, while I don’t think it’s impossible to do Castlevania in a more traditional format (after all, LoI and CoD pulled it off pretty well), I do think that the layers to the story are a big part of what makes it, well, Castlevania. I don’t think it’s at all fair to say that Castlevania doesn’t have a story- Many of the games don’t have a distinct linear dialectical narrative the way a lot of modern games do, but they very much have a story. Why not try experiencing it?

In conclusion,

[lazbotronence]

5 minutes with... TEDxBrighton's Laurence Rickard [x]

8 Oct 2015

TEDxBrighton caught up with this year's host Laurence Rickard. Larry (as he would prefer you all to call him) is a BAFTA-winning comedy writer and actor, probably best known for his work on the hit BBC sketch show Horrible Histories and the Sky 1 fantasy comedy Yonderland.

What are you doing right now?

I'm on a train, which is where I spend a fair proportion of my life. I find I get huge amounts of work done on trains, because I can't procrastinate by making a sandwich or going for a walk... Well, not for a very long walk anyway. Though answering these questions means I'm not doing the re-write that I've promised my producer. If she shouts at me, I'm going to give her your number.

What was your first thought when invited to host this year’s event?

Honestly? I was worried that I'd taken on something I wouldn't have time to do. But then I feel that when I agree to do most things. It'll be fine. I just like to worry.

You’re undoubtedly extremely busy this year with your writing and acting, and also with the release of your first film, Bill. With this in mind, what persuaded you to add this role to your already crammed to do list?

I went to school with Sam, one of the organisers, so he probably has quite a lot of dirt on me. I thought it best not to cross him, in case he had a copy of that demo my band did when I was 15. I wouldn't want that getting out. Also, it's TED, isn't it. It's an institution. I felt very privileged to have been asked.

This year’s conference is about losing control. When was the last time you lost control and why?

Well, I'm five days away from the release of a film right now (it's called Bill and it's in cinemas on September 18th – you should definitely go and see it), so I'm probably running on slightly heightened levels of anxiety and reduced levels of sleep. I'm not sure I'd say I've 'lost control' at any point, but there's been a few moments where I've raised my voice a bit, which is very rare for me. That's a very British answer isn't it? You ask when I lost control and I tell you the last time I raised my voice. Hardly a thundering maelstrom – I don't think it'll make the papers.

TEDx is all about sharing inspiring concepts and ideas. Who has been your biggest inspiration and why?

Probably my drama and English teacher at secondary school. He was always so supportive and encouraging. On reflection he was quite anti-establishment – he would give you a thousand merit points for a piece of writing, which both bolstered your self-confidence and made a complete mockery of the 'merit point' system. That was him all over. I was quite shruggy-shoulders about most of my school life, but I looked forward to his lessons so much. He encouraged me to write and act, and now I write and act – if that's not an inspiration, I don't know what is.

If you were asked to deliver a TED talk, what would you like to talk about and who would you most like to deliver your talk to?

I'd probably talk to young people about the celebration of celebrity. I worry that there's a generation who are, in many ways, being robbed of inspiration, and I don't think that's fair on them. People who, in a world of Geordie Shore and vlogs about making a nice breakfast, think that 'being a celebrity' is a goal to strive towards. Not trying to learn a skill or an art or hone a talent, but wanting to get 'rich and famous' by doing something that, in essence, pretty much anyone could do. You just want them to find that thing – whether it's bricklaying or mastering the violin – that enthuses and inspires them beyond the desire to one day have 2 million Twitter followers. Making sure that the world's best UN Secretary General doesn't end up never existing because they became the next Joey Essex instead.

As a born and bred resident of Brighton and Hove, what do you love most about this city?

I like its size. It's a walkable city. I lived in that London for a bit, and people travel for two hours just to meet up for a beer. That seems mad to me. And I like that Brighton is, on the whole, tolerant, liberal and diverse. I don't like that big spike they've put by the West Pier though. I just don't get it – we are a city of vibrant streets, not striking skylines. The view in one direction will just be roofs, and the other will just be just water. I never really got the thrill of looking at stuff from a bit higher up.

If you could take just one book, film and album on holiday this year, which would you take?

The film please.

What do you think events like TEDx offer to audiences?

Tickets I'd imagine. That would be the model I'd adopt. It's simplest in terms of seating etc. Plus the revenue would help to cover production costs. It's certainly worth looking into.

If you could pick a theme for next year's conference what theme would you most like to explore and why?

Special Effects Techniques in the Original Star Wars Trilogy. It's the only thing I can speak about with any authority.

[ripplestitchskein]

Heey I really like your Stolitz and Helluva Boss Takes! They are very insightful and interesting to read. Your circus theory is adorable :)

I’m wondering, why do you think this fandom in particular is… so rabidly against media literacy. I too am an old trooper from the Destiel days and I remember the days when internet fans would beg for more complex characters that have grey morality. Also when people would BEG for gay representation like this. I’m so confused man. The “vivziepop critical” hashtag just makes me depressed. So many people seem obsessed to criticize this show and I don’t get it. I haven’t seen this much hate since Twilight. Also did the mistake of checking twitter… Also, why do people act like one person did everything when animation is a highly collaborative medium and there are 100+ creator names at the end of each episode? I’m so confused because I’ve enjoyed the show so much and went online to find fanart and fanfics and found… insane levels of hate and projection?? Why does everyone and their dog want to cancel this woman for making an animated TV show with millenial style sensibilities? Why are they saying the writing is horrible and atrocious when I personally think it’s better than Family Guy, Big Mouth, American Dad and many other adult animation show’s writings? I’m so curious because I’m from Eastern Europe and it feels like something particular about american culture doesn’t click to me in all of this…

Thank you so much Nonnie! If nothing else I might illustrate Blitzo’s little circus with everyone in their roles. I’m working on a Stolitz piece I am VERY excited about but maybe after that.

As far as your question. Whooboy is that a question I have both given a lot of thought to and found no real satisfactory answers, but I have some ideas.

I think it’s a mix of things and I think a huge part of it is the medium and the accessibility of the creators combined with the show reaching a huge internet audience other fandoms don’t really normally touch.

The audience numbers for both of the Spindlehorse/Vivziepop properties are ENORMOUS. On the main channel alone an episode will reach 20+ million views. This doesn’t include other channels that take the same episodes and put them on their channels and reach several million as well. The Nielsen numbers average around the 18-20 per episode but Nielsen ratings are a flawed metric especially with internet based media. We’ve seen some of the Amazon numbers as well and they are insane.

We also live in a time where people are under an extreme amount of scrutiny all hours of the day, the likes of which we really don’t have a comparison for in human history and we have a independent creator who was largely available to that fandom for a long period of time. A lot of media properties are corporate, are sanitized and managed by large PR firms. I think VivziePop said some things before she had fully grown and developed as a person that people latched onto as a core belief system, something the internet is really good at. There also isn’t a lot of grace given to people who change their views after taking in other viewpoints and information. If you say something it will live on in infamy and I think some of the hate stems from that.

I went into it a little in this post here that I just don’t think people are aware of the creative process that goes into making such a thing. An indie creator has to be way more transparent than a corporate entity to get the funding they need and that transparency builds expectations with people who can’t grasp that plots and characters change as the story actually develops. They are very used to prepackaged, sanitized and complete productions and this messy and chaotic realtime creative process is very foreign to them.

Critical thinking skills are also a precious resource in humanity in general, and when you’re dealing with a fandom this large you have more people who lack those skills than normal. These two shows do not spoon feed their audience, a lot of things are in the details and hidden under character complexities and I genuinely believe that they aren’t used to not being told flat out “this is what is happening. This is how the characters feel about it.” By the media they consume. We’re also dealing with two different shows with similar visual elements and comparisons are made between the two while ignoring the actual shows themselves. A great example is the chains in Hazbin for Angel and Husk being compared to the chain in the drug hallucinations in D.H.O.R.K.S. They are not remotely the same, or for the same reason but because they are visually similar, being from the same team people really thought they were on to something while ignoring the actual content and dialogue of the scene itself. Meme culture used for wrong imo.

Having characters that do “problematic” things, say “problematic” things and behave in realistic and nuanced ways is hard for people to separate from the creators or the fans. Any whiff of perceived “toxicity” is jumped on like rabid dogs. They believe it’s a reflection of what the creator and fans actually WANT in real life. It’s purity culture run amuck and it’s a HUGE issue. Like actual fascism in action and it’s extremely concerning to me but what can I do but continue to engage critically with what I like and provide analysis while enjoying it?

There is also this sense of competition in fandoms. My ship is less problematic than yours. My blorbo is a better person. Etc. It’s the silliest shit.

There is also a huge wait time between episodes. In a binge watching culture, or a serialized tv culture where seasons are completed and then released all at once or on a regular schedule with maybe a week or two between it is hard for the audience to retain what they saw previously and connect it. They also build up expectations and have months to sit with them only to be disappointed when it doesn’t play out how they wanted. The Sherlock fandom was notorious for this. The years long gap between seasons let things fester and rot and now we have a show like HB that will go months between episodes and take years to tell a story.

Being completely honest almost all the criticism I’ve seen is not rooted in actual problems with the show but people saying “if they had done X and X and X it would have be a better show” but because the show didn’t deliver what they specifically wanted it’s “not good”. Or they don’t realize it is delivering that, just at a very slow pace.

I think it can best be summed up by a lot of the internet are what me and my partner call “baby brained”. I don’t mean to be dismissive of real criticisms but I haven’t seen any that hold water yet that aren’t rooted in the things I’ve mentioned above. If I’m presented some I’ll engage with them logically and will use the text to determine their validity.

I have more thoughts on this but this is already pretty long so I’ll save it for specific posts on this subject. But like I always say, just block them and do things that make you happy with the things you love. You don’t owe them your time or your attention and the creators don’t owe them anything either.

[yukidragon]

So on Twitter, there's a small au going around featuring Jack as a slasher. From what I've seen it's pretty much same ol' Jack except more feral, not dead (?) and chasing around some unlucky ones.

I was wondering exactly what your take on a Slasher!Jack would be? I've come up with a few concepts myself but I'm curious because you seem to expand better on possibilities concerning AUs and writing.

I’ve seen that. Some of the art is really cool and very chilling. (Also some of it is exceptionally smutty, but that’s to be expected.)

Also thank you for such kind praise! I’m flattered you think so highly of my writing.

In a lot of ways, canon Jack does tick a fair number of the typical slasher killer boxes, at least if he winds up going down the murderous yandere path. Most of the most famous slasher movie characters have some sort of supernatural angle to them. An unstoppable killer makes for a very terrifying antagonist after all, especially if Jack has the same level of immunity to pain and fatal injuries as one of the early pictures Sauce drew of him.

Just as a heads up, there will be bloody violence and potentially smutty stuff behind the cut in this post. Remember, Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack is for Adults Only.

I mean just look at Jack in the lower right there. That’s practically the climax of a horror movie where the “final girl” is desperately trying to survive the killer coming for them.

Credit as always to Sauce for being cool with me using their absolutely lovely publicly posted art in my posts. Remember, please don’t repost anything privately posted over on the SnaccPop Studios Patreon. There’s even more tiers than ever now, with more goodies to discover. Not to mention new incentives including custom artwork, extra content, and you can suggest lines for the Sleepy Time Jack virtual body pillow. Imagine one of your saucy lines being said in Jack’s sexy voice~

And I’m starting to get off topic thinking about Jack being sexy when we’re talking about him being a scary serial killer. Oops! Let’s get back to that, shall we?

One of the key differences between slasher killers and yandere killers is motivation. Yanderes do it for the sake of love, but slashers don’t tend to have that sort of redeeming quality. If they love anything, it’s the joy of murder and being a psychopath. If they’re not evil incarnate, they’re a lost soul so caught up on thoughts of revenge that even innocent people get pulled into the mix. The latter would actually fit Jack’s background disturbingly well considering he was murdered during filming.

It wouldn’t take too much to tweak the canon story in a slasher direction. Heck, you don’t even have to remove the yandere aspect. I mean, let’s face it, Jack wouldn’t quite feel like Jack without his intense love for his sunshine, would he?

Some slasher types are mindless hulking brutes, but some are very smart, even chatty with one liners. Imagine Jack making a bad pun as he hacks some innocent soul in half.

Since a slasher just isn’t a slasher without them committing brutal acts of violence, in this sort of AU, Jack wouldn’t have that hang up with acting perfectly in character as Sunny Day Jack to prevent him from getting his hands dirty.

Imagine if, say, during those 40 years in hell, Jacktor’s mind broke a little differently. Instead of burying himself so deep into the role of Sunny Day Jack to keep his sanity, thoughts of revenge were what he clung to. Brutal, awful, horrible revenge that got more and more twisted as he was stuck in hell, unable to sleep, only able to think and suffer in a place so very, very cold.

Jack is Jack because he reinvented himself as a new identity, sort of like how a lot of slashers are no longer known by their former identities, but by their new monikers. It’s not that Jack believes he is the character of Sunny Day Jack, but that the character is his. He has made it his own, and no one is going to take it away from him.

The studio dares to erase his legacy then replace him and pretend it was always this new replacement? Oh hell no. There’s only one Sunny Day Jack, and no one will ever forget him again...

During the day, Jack is cheerfully loving on MC and being their best friend. At night... he’s picking off his targets, using the persona of Sunny Day Jack in a perversely ironic way to twist the knife - quite literally at times - when getting revenge. Heck, why stick with just a knife? Clowns are far more creative than that, and he’s had 40 years to consider all sorts of lovely ways to enjoy his bloody revenge...

What? An innocent person who had nothing to do with this died? No way - they must have been involved. If they weren’t, that might make revenge a bit less sweet, make Jack potentially question things. He might not be the character he’s playing, but he knows that being happy is a lot more fun than being angry, and he can be pretty jolly when those awful people who crossed him pay the price~!

MC is unnerved by all the deaths being reported, and so gruesome too, but Jack assures them he’ll watch out for them. He won’t let anyone hurt them, he promises.

Still, Jack suggests MC remains vigilant about other people. Don’t talk to strangers except when required at your job. Don’t trust that blind date - what if they’re going to hurt you?

Unlike in the main universe where Jack killing people would be a move of desperation to keep his sunshine, in this AU, killing people would be a source of schadenfreude. He might try to keep things a secret from his sunshine, but sooner or later MC will find out about his dark secret and all the twisted “fun” he’s been having, then they’ll have choices to make...

Jack’s behavior before being discovered as a serial killer would probably be a bit different as well in this AU, mostly due to the variant that he remembers that he’s an actor and isn’t the actual character. He remembers vividly what happened the day he died and all those who may have been involved.

Sticking with the limitation that Jack needs MC to need him in order for him not to be damned back to hell, he would still be sweet and doting. Not to mention MC saved him, and he fell in love with them for being his savior and can feel their emotions. The idea of hurting them is unthinkable and certainly not fun like murdering those who deserve it.

When MC asks Jack questions about who he is and where he comes from... I imagine they would actually be able to pry some real answers out of him, though no doubt with great reluctance and pain. Being empathetic to him, they wouldn’t push too hard to force him to relive it, so to speak, at least not unless they felt pressured by all the suspicious things going on...

So MC believes either they’re hallucinating, or an actor who was tragically murdered is haunting them because they wanted a friend and Jack was lonely like them. With more clues about the incident, they could have a slightly easier time digging into what happened... though I’m sure Jack would rather they not.

After all... if they start looking into LambsWork Productions, they might get caught up in Jack’s revenge, and he doesn’t want to risk losing his sunshine.

Now... a few pictures of the slasher AU have Jack chasing down their sunshine, who is running away in terror. If Jack is dependent on MC needing him around to exist, this wouldn’t be able to happen unless he became powerful enough not to need them as a tether anymore.

Given that in a lot of supernatural slasher movies the slasher is disproportionately powerful, it could be in this AU that Jack doesn’t need MC to need him to stick around, as playing the tape set him free without limits. He just stays with MC because he loves them since they saved him. They could even have this bond between them still.

Really, this makes me think in this AU that MC has nightmares most every night of the killings. It’s not in perfect detail, but they see glimpses of what’s happening. In some dreams they feel the same terror as the victims, as if they were the one in danger. In others, they see more from Jack’s perspective and feel the rush of his emotions, the joy and sadism in killing.

In terms of a visual novel’s routes, there would be a route where MC would have to stop Jack and would wind up being the “final girl” like typical slasher films, culminating in a climax where they’re being hunted down in the studio by Jack who is caught up in a mixture of love and betrayal because they tried to send him back to hell.

The happy ending in this route is succeeding in doing so, though no doubt there’d be a teaser in the epilogue that the threat isn’t over... so MC better watch out since they’ll be the target of revenge next...

In the bad end of this route, MC would fail to stop Jack. Maybe he kills them due to betrayal, or maybe he is willing to forgive them... but he makes sure they’ll never, ever betray him again...

Another route entirely would be getting closer to Jack and understanding his broken mind better. MC learns all about what he’s doing, but isn’t trying to destroy him. Instead, they’re trying to talk him down and stop him peacefully without letting anyone get hurt.

The happy ending to this route of course is breaking through this slasher mentality to reach Jack’s humanity. He is then left to have a breakdown over what kind of monster he became, and MC would help him let go of his hate and finally heal for real. Whether that involves him staying or being put to rest peacefully depends on one’s own personal taste for a happy ending. (I know I like OTPs to stay together to smooch and heal each other’s broken hearts.)

The bad ending to this route is that MC is the one who breaks first. They empathize with Jack too much, get too drawn into his twisted revenge pleasure and join him. It’s still a “happy” ending in so much that the two of them wind up being murder happy psychos together, moving on to wreak havoc elsewhere once business is done with LambsWork Productions. After all, there’s a whole world of fun to be had~

Now... when it comes to my personal interpretation of the canon I use for Sunshine in Hell and how that affects an AU like this... I like to think that MC resonated with Jack in a way, suffering from a similar pain and longing, and that’s why they could summon him from the tape and form that supernatural bond. With this in mind for a slasher AU, Alice’s state of mind is going to be a bit different as well...

With Jack desiring love and bloody revenge, he would resonate with someone who feels similarly, don’t you think? In this AU, Alice is twisted up inside due to the life she’s lived. She was bullied, experienced SA, the person she trusted and loved the most cheated on her, along with other awful things... A part of her wants revenge. She has always suffered with violent thoughts, dreaming of sadistic revenge fantasies where she would paint the walls of her school red with blood, where she would do all sorts of horrible, savage things to the person Ian slept with while he watched before she turned her brutal revenge on him next...

Alice moved out because of heartache, but also because she was afraid that she might murder Ian if she ever saw him again.

Working in food service doesn’t help. Rude customers, long hours, a boss that demands too much work for too little pay... It’s impossible for Alice not to fantasize about putting something toxic into the yogurt she serves so that the Karen who yelled at her dies foaming at the mouth, or maybe her boss Barry can wind up getting chopped up and served up as a new mystery flavor...

It’s sick. Alice knows these are sick thoughts, and she hates how much she indulges in and enjoys these fantasies.

Fortunately, Alice suddenly finds herself with a new friend! Gosh, he’s had such a hard time. All the awful things that happened to Jack remind her of how the world kept crushing her down. They’re kindred spirits in a way.

Jack is also a very bad influence, encouraging Alice to just indulge in these wicked impulses. She jokingly comes up with the idea to do something vicious to someone she hates and wants to see suffer. Jack, being the true friend, asks why shouldn’t she? They deserve to pay for what they’ve done.

Essentially, Jack encourages Alice to indulge in the vice of revenge just like him. He nudges her into doing more, going a little further each time in crossing the line, and she finds that she enjoys it too much. She feels guilty, but thrilled, and he praises her for it, reassures her that what she feels is wonderful. The person she got revenge on deserved it. Why shouldn’t she enjoy seeing those bastards get their just desserts?

Oh, that reminds me, since Jack wouldn’t be stuck in the mindset of the character of Sunny Day Jack he would be free to swear as he pleases. He might be out of costume most of the time and just in costume when committing his murders, though his name is Jack either way.

Basically Alice was someone on the edge of committing violence, fighting it because she knows it’s wrong even if a sick, twisted part of her enjoys seeing others suffer for the awful things they’ve done... and Jack tips her over the edge to join him on the slasher side.

Poor Ian. During all this, he believes that Alice wants to see him to get back together with him. Such a shame that she’s already moved on to love someone else, someone who helped her see that she shouldn’t prioritize other peoples’ feelings over her own. She should be free to indulge in her desires without shame, and not hold back on how she really feels about anyone.

Nick would likely not be Jack’s victim in this AU. Rather, he would be Alice’s first victim. After all the awful teasing, bullying, and entitled customers she’s suffered over the years... what better person to get revenge against than someone who makes her feel cornered and who’s been secretly stalking her for a long time now?

Don’t worry, sunshine. Jack will help guide you through it and show you how much fun getting revenge can be~

In this AU, Shaun would be the “final girl” so to speak, having to end this slasher reign of terror during a bloody climax full of dead bodies and violence. Of course, in true slasher fashion, it only seems as though they’re dead. As a horror director, he would be painfully aware of this trope and constantly worrying about the fact that no one ever found Alice’s body after he was forced to shove her out a window after they both drew blood in the final conflict...

It’s such a shame that Shaun believes that Alice was the serial killer all along and that she was working alone. After all, she was the only one he could see. How could he have ever expected a supernatural lover to catch her and save her from a fatal fall and make sure she wouldn’t bleed out from all the injuries she took during the final fight?

Of course... Jack isn’t going to take kindly to anyone trying to kill Alice. He may have come back from the dead, but that’s no guarantee that she can do the same.

No one will take his sunshine away.

Shaun almost got away, but not all “final girls” live in the end, do they? Such a shame...

No one knows what happened that night in the studio, but the next morning LambsWork Productions was all over the news. It’s impossible to hide murders when anyone with the power to do so is already dead. What’s more, it’s like the murderer wanted everyone to see such a gruesome display of death and carnage. How horrible!

Of course, since sometimes slashers have a motivation to come back to life along with their revenge. Also, it’s a popular trope that rituals to revive the dead tend to wind up with a lot of other people getting slaughtered in the process. Put them both together and, well...

Let’s just say that the epilogue involves a new location, with neighbors who are a bit intimidated by the big fella with the muscles and tattoos who just moved in with his girlfriend.

Fortunately, Jack quickly shows the neighbors just how friendly he is, and he’s so affectionate with Alice, who is adorable in her own right. What a relief it is that the new neighbors moving in are so nice. They could have been someone dangerous. Can you imagine?

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur    

[bricommissions]

Haii haii.... I'm a minor who uses he/they Pronouns,, + I am so horribly awkward irl and people kinda mistake me on being on a bad mood/angry (because sometimes I squint my eyes because I cannot fucking see clearly bc I think I got the wrong prescription of my glasses!! And to add along with it, it furrows my eyebrow, and because of my "resting bitch face") but in reality I'm not I swear!! I lack friends but more on having acquaintances,,,, and I try to be nice in every social interaction(in the end the conversation won't last a minute) but uh I try to "look" or "act" more kind because I don't want my younger brother to start copying me like mom is gonna blame my fuckin ass if they turn out to be a little shithead delinquent, so yeah I guess I'm nicer to kids, even tho some of them are scared of me because of me being too nice with them or acting like I'm their older sibling!! But I swear I'm nice and respectful, sometimes annoying and clingy to my acquaintances? (I am backing off from them rn bc they might find me too annoying) and also to my older sibling, in online I'm the same but more social and like... I have 2 friends online, I'm a silly lad who roams around the internet either on tt, ao3, discord, or tumblr, and twitter, and of course I cannot forget about the slow self esteem!! Also it would be very very nice of you could pair me to both genshin and enstars thank you !! :D

omg hi hi, thank you so much for sending something in !! i hope you're having a good day/evening/night :D

DRUM ROLL, PLEASE . . .

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

FOR ENSEMBLE STARS : KOHAKU OUKAWA !!

i think the both of you would instantly get along very well. & it's only uphill from there !! as you said above, you're often mistaken for being in a bad mood. however, i think kohaku would be able to see through that & sense your true kindess right off the bat. he's very intelligent & good at reading people. that awkwardness you mentioned probably wouldn't even apply since he instantly feels more at ease around you compared to his unitmates.

if you were a part of the staff working with the younger idols in training, i have a feeling you would eventually run into kohaku. after you keep meeting, you'd eventually get to know each other better & even become friends !! since he has older sisters & you are an older sibling in your family, you'd be able to level with each other about family matters. you can share the struggles, exchange tips, & swap points of view. before you even realize it, you both start looking forward to spending time together.

kohaku starts helping you out with the young future idols when he's not working with his units, crazy:b & double face. he sees the way the younger teens are wary with you because of your older sibling vibes, but he's quick to defend you. kohaku is in a very crazy ( pun intended ) unit, but with you, his silly side comes out for reasons unrelated to work. he talks about how he doesn't quite understand how you don't have more friends considering how kind of a person you are. kohaku enthuses about how much he enjoys your company, that he's able to enjoy being himself with you. along those same lines, he's quick to pick up on your struggles with self esteem. that's why he always compliments you when he gets the chance. he points out your efforts to be kind, the way you take care of the idols in training, & how much respect you show to those around you.

after working with the young teens, you both have a habit of hanging out in the practice room once they all leave. you typically end up showing kohaku silly videos you've found on various platforms on your phone. the more this happens, the closer you'll sit together. eventually, you have an unspoken thing of holding hands while scrolling through the videos you wanted to see kohaku's reactions to in person. you showed him discord & he made an account; you obviously became friends on there. you might send him goofy memes on there whenever you're not together.

HOWEVER !! the unspoken thing becomes obvious when kohaku gives you a parting kiss on the cheek one evening after practice. the rest is history !!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

FOR GENSHIN IMPACT : BENNETT !!

i can think of no one other than mondstadt's coolest adventurer ever !! similarly to kohaku above, i think even an accidental "angry" face could not deterr him from befriending you almost instantly. he struggles with making friends because of his unfortunate bad luck streak, so he'd see becoming friends with you as a rare yet welcome instance of good luck !! perhaps you're also a part of the adventurer's guild ─ that could be how you both meet.

i think you'd both have a wonderful time adventuring with one another. since you are respectful, you wouldn't make fun of him for having a hard time with luck. you bond over reasons why it's difficult to make friends. him with his notorious bad luck, you with being misunderstood as someone with a temper. i think you both would be friends for at least a year before he starts realizing that his feelings may not be platonic anymore.

it's when he watches you tell the younger kids who dream of being adventurers themselves stories about your quests that he realizes he likes you !! you both often watch over the kiddos together after a long day of adventuring, so story time happens often. but there's something speial about that day.

bennett thinks about how he loves the way you don't judge him & how he deeply enjoys being your number one cheerleader. as the kids go home, he spends the rest of his time with you beneath the golden sunset telling you exactly how he feels.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

THANK YOU FOR READING !!

if you're the person that sent this & are unsatisfied with the results, feel free to shoot me an ask or im !!

if you'd like to receive one of these yourself, they are still open at the moment. please refer to THIS POST if you're interested.

if you liked my writing, please consider commissioning me !! it is my only source of income at the moment. i offering writing commissions such as custom character x reader fics, comfort character emails, ship fics, & more <3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[alpaca-clouds]

Also, the thing with Hector

You, after blogging about the entire Trevor thing, I really wanna write about something else, too. And that is Hector. Because steady as clockwork there will be tweets on Twitter and blogs here on tumblr, about how horribly written Hector supposedly is and how little sense his role in the animated series supposedly makes.

And, honestly, as an autistic person this almost feels a bit hurtful.

Because… Look, I have no idea whether it happened on purpose or accidentally (there is just a large number of neurodiverse folks running around in creative areas after all), Hector very much reads as a neurodiverse, possibly autistic character. And as such, yes, he very much makes sense as a character to a lot of autistic folks.

Yeah, yeah, I know, a lot of folks will be like: “But why make him a general?” To which I will just look in confusion, because, well… A) Dracula explains his reasoning (Hector and Isaac are humans aligning with his goals, hence he deems them more trustworthy than the other vampires). B) We know forgemasters are rare (probably, because they get hunted down by the church) and the two might well be the only forgemasters he knows. And he needs forgemasters and had to make sure they were loyal. C) It is not as if Dracula is of sound mind – while the other vampire generals only listen to the two forgemasters, because Dracula tells them to.

And everything else kinda makes sense, too, especially reading him as autistic. He is a victim of child abuse, he clearly has some developmental delay (several characters refer to him as being “child-like”) and he is really bad at reading other people’s intentions (again, something that very much speaks for him being neurodiverse in some capacity), leading to him easily getting manipulating. It might be noted that the fact, that over the entire course of the series, no matter how much shit he gets put through, he never actually cries, also speaks to this.

The thing that most annoys me, though, is how people will then argue, that his game version was better written, which… it is just not? I am sorry, in general I like the Castlevania games, but as written in the Trevor rant this morning: The 3D games are the exception. I hate them. All four of them. With St. Germain (yes, the one character, where I agree that the series kinda did him dirty) as the sole exception, I think that Curse of Darkness is horribly written.

And you know what? The reason I consider the Netflix version of St. Germain to be bad, is the same reason I hate the game version of Hector: Their sole reason for acting is a refrigerated woman. Their entire motivation in the plot is a woman getting lost (in the case of Netflix!St. Germain) or killed (in the case of Game!Hector). Though, really, Game!Hector takes is to a whole new level, because he then goes, finds a woman who happens to look like the refrigerated girlfriend, shrugs and goes living with her. Which is just… Wow, that is just such horrible writing!

Just the disdain that game has for the female characters in question… Thanks, I fucking hate it.

And yes, I am very much aware that the manga exists. But… It really does not make things better, doesn’t it, except from giving Rosaly some basic character instead of making her the “quickly mentioned dead girl, who gets replaced by Julia”. But to be frank, the heel-face-turn still does not make a lot more sense with that context added.

Really, I cannot shake the feeling, that the main issue, folks have with Hector’s arc in the series, is, that it categorically refuses to give them a power fantasy, aka the thing that the game obviously is all about. Hector does not get a power fantasy, he gets a disempowerment fantasy instead, his big moment of agency involving him cutting of his own finger.

But here is the thing: You can dislike that… but it is not “bad writing”. Just because you wanted that power fantasy and did not get it, it is not bad writing. Especially in an ensemble series like Castlevania it is perfectly fine, that not all characters get the big power fantasy.

And honestly, there is some shaky writing in the series. Again, St. Germain and just… season 4 is at least weirdly written. The pacing is super weird and it is just so weird, how the series shrugs off most of the trauma from season 3. And I have spoken before about how I did not like that Hector somehow forgave Lenore off-screen. But him not having a big hero moment? Yeah, I am absolutely alright with that.

[just-your-average-cryptid]

I feel like the reason some fandoms get so hostile and cannibalize each other over ship wars and callout chains is that they’ve stalled their “complex media analysis” growth.

I mean think about it. Most kid’s shows deal with pretty simple concepts like “sharing is good!” and “lying is wrong!”, very black and white takes on very easy-to-understand issues. There’s some notable exceptions, especially in more teen-focused media (ATLA being a prime example for genocide and the complex reality of war,) but generally speaking everything is surface-level escapism with easy morals.

Compare that to more “adult” media and the mindset is wildly different. The themes are way more complex, the morals are grayer and blurrier, there’s symbolism and metaphors and all that good deep-level stuff.

Crucially, though, the latter requires you to engage with it beyond observation.

If you’ve been in online fandom spaces, especially on (shudder) Twitter, you’ve seen the damage of “the curtains were just blue!” So many people just refuse to engage with media beyond the surface level. Everything is escapism, because what other purpose do stories serve? And in that mindset, anything complex or gray means you support those actions and ideas, because you’re escaping to a world where this happens. Media is supposed to turn your brain off for a bit, not force you to grapple with the horrors of our society and question the views you uphold. Analysis is to find the One True Interpretation and lord it over everyone else.

In case you couldn’t tell, that last bit was sarcastic.

So you have a bunch of people only looking at the surface level and only engaging with the material as entertainment, as something you watch for fun and nothing else.

This isn’t to say this is all of fandom - for my fellow good omens fans, please keep analyzing every second for more devastating fascinating details. But I’ve seen enough secondhand complaints from people I follow and screenshots to know this is a real issue for a lot of online fandoms.

No, a character doing a Bad Thing does not inherently mean the author/creator supports the bad thing. Yes, even if the protagonist does it.

Neither characters nor real people are purely good or evil. Stop trying to make that true, it never will be.

On that note, sometimes very nice-looking people do horrible things and still act nicely to others. Sometimes people who seem very cold are the kindest you’ll ever meet. First impressions are not the full picture, in fiction or reality.

(Abusers are very, very good at seeming like such nice people to everyone else.)

Yeah, some stories are just brainless entertainment. But you should still be critical - actually critical, not criticizing, there’s a huge difference - of what you see and what you think. Sometimes it IS that deep. And writers love when you notice the breadcrumbs! It means they did their jobs well :)

If you’re not sure where to start, try stuff like this:

What visuals or ideas are repeated? Could it be a symbol or motif?

Why does this action seem “out of character?” Is there anything from their past/background that might provide context to what they did? (Tbf, this one can just as easily be “we don’t care about continuity, this is a Marvel movie”)

What is the arc for this character? How do they change or evolve? Alternatively, why don’t they change?

What real-world issues could this be a proxy for? What does it say about the creator’s views?

[breadstickysquid]

my thoughts on endless sunsets, from the pov of someone who is very mentally ill and has a partner they love with their entire heart (cw for talk of mental health and suicide):

so. ow. fuck. godamn. okay then. just MAKE me hurt like that.

i cannot formulate my thoughts coherently right now other than "AAAAHASIDSHFYDUUJIUWAAUUUUGHBBHBGBHGBBBAAAUUHHHH" but i'll do my damn best (beware, this all might be incomprehensible) AND KEEP IN MIND I'm not all caught up on the caimsey lore!!!

this hit me hard. really hard. from both the pov of c!quqqie and from c!aimsey (and all of their friends)

i've struggled with anxiety and depression for 6+ years now. i can't remember a time when i didn't struggle with my mental health.

I was doing really poorly in 2020. i was very depressed, isolated from most of my friends, and constantly behind in school. i was struggling, and at multiple points in the year i was very seriously (but didn't actually make plans) considering ending it all. i was tired.

early 2021 i finally joined twitter, to be able to interact with the mcyt fandom.

through twitter, i met the most important person in my life.

my best friend, my partner, my other half.

it's been far over 2 years since we've met now, and since i met them, my life has become so much better. we hang out of hours on vc, chat daily, and we just, get each other on a deeper level than anyone else i've met. It's cheesy, but I genuinely believe we're soulmates. For ages, we thought we were just best friends, until awhile ago when we realized we were actually queerplatonic, and since then, my days are full of the heartache that I have from just having. So much love for xem. When it's hard for me to see the beauty in life, they help me see it again. When they're feeling down, I'm there to pick them back up. I am theirs and they are mine, we are each other's better halves, together to the end.

A couple years ago, I wouldn't have expected to live past my 20s. Now, I can comfortably see myself growing old, and it's because of my partner.

I see me and my partner in caimsey and cquqqie, and it hits HARD.

I see c!sunshipduo as the world where me and my partner didn't communicate as well, and ended up being too scared of heartbreak after years of having loved ones abandon us, and cutting the relationship off before it could fully bloom.

I saw some people being like "woah, aimsey and quqqie sound so genuinely sad in their acting, thats really impressive. I wonder how" and I can tell you, watching Endless Sunsets, it... it broke me, thinking of me and my partner (or our half-us/half-oc characters) as c!sunshipduo. I imagined losing my partner, either the way that caimsey or cquqqie did, and I cried. I'm still crying as i write this. I don't know what I'd do if I lost my partner, and being a creature of anxiety, i worry about it a lot. I've had nightmares about something bad happening, and never seeing xem again.

Seeing caimsey continue living eased some of that weight in my chest. Because even if things go horribly wrong and something happened to my partner, life goes on. cquqqie would have wanted caimsey to live, and so they did. I now know that I'd do the same.

Idk, I might come back to this either as an edit or a reblog to dump more thoughts, or to actually organize the damn thing.

and yall!! I'd love to see your stories of your feelings regarding the caimsey finale, and how it helped you, if you're comfortable :]

Thank you so much @aimseytv for making this beautiful character that helped both you and us grow as people, becoming who we are today. We will all continue to bloom.

[cervidaedalus]

There's a LOT that I still think about from time to time because yeah, a lot of it has irreparably traumatized me from engaging in this community like I did within the first year or so, and what I've seen from Twitter has not made those feelings any better. I see Roxi in the notes on that post and I still remember the time that person sent her a nasty anon because she reposted a comic and then just... admitted to it on their blog. There's a few people I was glad to see were still active when I came back after deletion (Fay, Maha, Kiki, Roxi, Rivi, Zhaur, etc), and there's others that continue posting but don't seem to do the XIV thing anymore. I know some have more or less just migrated to Twitter but are still active like Rahela, Tiergan, Sounsyy, Vex. There's a couple faces I remember but I don't remember the names at all. Uh... Domino something? And that person who had the cool Hannish character, the girl who was one of the first Viera RP'ers before they were even announced whose character had long red curly hair, and some others I can't accurately describe. Then there's the ones who seem to have left completely like Syrena, Zevet, Yuha, Zeph and Natsu. It still pains me on a personal level what happened with Syrena and sometimes I wish I could tell her how horribly Braden acted in real life but idk if she'd even believe me and at this point I just kind of hope getting his publishing deal has resulted in him just becoming a better person. I genuinely wonder about those who will live in infamy like Oz and Allister too lol.

[kilbaro]

my depression spikes pretty neatly with my social media usage. any site - doesn't matter if it's here, twitter, discord, reddit, mastodon, hell i finally got a bluesky invite thanks to my partner and that place seems pretty chill and nice, but it doesn't matter. it's like just the act of reading other people's interactions and seeing what kind of lives and interest they have triggers despair in me. it's not really fomo, i guess it's like.. envy? i deeply want to be motivated to have and pursue interests and hobbies and Do Things and Make Things and i'm just not, so i feel like all i can do is watch other people do it instead and feel sad and left out about it.

when i do try to engage with people about stuff, i feel like a sad fake fan because my knowledge of almost anything is very surface level. i'm interested in a VERY wide swath of stuff, but nothing very intently, so i just know a little about a lot. i live in terror of anyone i'm talking to realizing i'm just a fake dumbass with regards to anything i talk about so i suppose that's one thing that fuels my anxiety when i interact with people. that and the unshakable notion that i'm deeply bothering anyone when i interact with them in any way, or disappointing them if they initiated the interaction. it's like.. i guess imagine getting horrible stage fright but it strikes whenever someone reaches out or communicates with you in any way.

unfortunately due to the aforementioned 'little interest in doing anything', even arguably very passive enjoyable activities like gaming or watching tv or something, all i really have left to fall back on is mindless scrolling. sigh.

it also means the only thing i'm a deep and abiding expert on and can speak confidently about is my own misery, which i know nobody else really wants to hear about.

[notsosilentsister]

When I studied linguistics in college, I read that the amount of detail needed to sufficiently describe something according to the cooperative principle can vary greatly depending on context and purpose of the speech act. "Italy looks like a boot" - probably not enough to navigate the shoreline, perfectly sufficient to find it on the map.

There are lots of people in my life, who probably have more of an "Italy looks like a boot"-level of knowledge about me. As a teenager that made me feel horribly misunderstood. Now I think, eh, close enough. This has done wonders to alleviate my general malaise and feeling of alienation.

Still....

On the platform formerly known as Twitter, a recent main character posted a bitter rant about allegeded "asexual millenials" (probably zoomers of varying sexual orientations) celebrating friendsgiving in a way deemed too cringy by the poster. It made me fondly remember the actually millenial friendsgivings of my own college years (which would surely inspire equal derision and contempt by this jaded critic of contemporary mores; a bunch of theater kids solemnly gathered in the attic of Cecila's grandmother, listening with rapt attention to Cecilia reciting a long poem about Puritans).

This in turn triggered a series of other fond college memories: long nights spent around the ashtray in front of the dorm kitchen with the smokers, gossiping, arguing, mentally masturbating; our jour fix at the coffeeshop on campus debriefing after the class with that one professor every normal student preferred to avoid because he demanded so much; going swimming at the public indoor pool and afterwards for running-sushi with my flatmate every Thursday; another friend throwing a birthday dinner for me in her appartment, because my own appartment was too small to host anything; going into town after an exam, having no plans for the rest of the day, randomly running into some acquaintance and spontaneouly deciding to spend the day together, running errands, going for a coffee; sitting on a blanket in the park, listening to friends singing and playing guitar; going to see a band I knew; even one or two especially exuberant nights at the club. And I normally hate clubs.

I loved college. I loved that college town. I finished one degree, moved away for a bit for a job, missed the place too much and moved back. I finished another degree, took a series of precarious, badly paid gigs, had to give up my appartment when my flatmate got a call to teach in Heidelberg, stayed on a friend's couch for a while. And then I finally got a full-time job in the place I was raised, and moved back there for good.

And when I returned to that college town, some time after, to visit some friends still living there, I felt like a tourist, like the place I had known for ten years no longer existed, and neither did the person I had been. And I remember thinking that no one ever really got to know her and now no-one ever will.

I don't know what had gone into me. Would be certainly news to my friends from college I had just been visting, and have visited many times since and am actually still friends with to this day. But at that moment, that's what I felt.

I don't know where I'm going with this. I love my friends. I could have no better ones. I reconnected with old friends from high school and even Kindergarten and I also managed to make new friends after moving back home. I'm not spending as much time with them as I want to, and it's mostly my own fault. I have a job now where I'm always interacting with a lot of people. I need a fair bit of solitude to recharge my social batteries. Any complaints I might have about my social life I will lay solely at my own feet.

But I keep thinking I need to keep a diary, I need to get back into writing. I feel like there's a part of me not even I get to know otherwise. "Loneliness is the diary keeper’s lover. It is not narcissism that takes them to their desk every day." It's not a replacement for friends. And friends, maybe, are no replacement for it.

[tabzjoynt]

#storytiiime cos we haven't had one of these in a hot minute 🫥

stumbled across an old post on my Snapchat from 6yrs ago, I was really going through it.

I do remember this day in particular, I was ready to step out in front of truck tbh - I was doing it rough emotionally and was heavily over being bullied by this Korean man at my job. he was horrible and most importantly the reason my anxiety came back stronger than ever. I was constantly looking over my shoulder, legit feeling like I could piss myself everytime I heard his voice.

I was also coming to terms with losing everything I invested into our exhibition - my motivation was in the toilet and I was angry for a few years after this all crumbled 🥴 I hated Onehunga - the one these people had created off the back of SWIDT's success. I recall watching the manager of the venue use the money made from my sales to shout her staff beers and lunches and cutting me out of the loop once I left to come back to Sydney. that one experience gave me the hugest trust issues when it should've been the base for something greater, her face is firmly burned into my memory - along with the smear campaign she decided to create on Twitter 🤣 it showed me the true colours of people in that circle and why I will always be allgood with being on the outside.

I had also finally ended a relationship that made me feel like I was a problem not an asset. he would belittle my appearance often, especially if I was going out to gigs or the pub with friends. once he told me that I shouldn't bother trying cos it's not like guys would find me attractive anyways - I believed him for about 5 minutes 🤣 (I got very drunk the night he said this and trashed my kitchen when I got home lolz #holesinwalls kinda trashed) even worse was when he finally left, his new gf picked him and his belongings up and disappeared into the sunset. he tried to come back a few times and each time I opened my front door to the fastest sentences that made no sense, I replied by slamming the door✌🏾 also if it wasn't for me he wouldn't own the franchise he has right now (just saying) I have all his numbers saved on my phone under #dogcunt 🤣

I am not the same - my heart still acts from a loving and respectful place but I can spot a gatekeeper from a mile away and trust my gut more than ever.

this is where my over thoughts kicked into hyperdrive and hesitation became my first reaction to everything.

although I didn't enjoy that particular growth journey in this life, it makes me excited about the possibilities - with you.

I am so much more comfortable in my own skin, I'm still awkward as fuck but it's all me.

reconnecting with you has opened me up and even tho we are severely detached from each other rn you still consume my thoughts. my faith has been tested more than once and my unorthodox energy shifts have been born out of never wanting you to feel burdened by my presence or my feelings for you. I don't think my most recent energy shift came across as a positive to you tho, I feel like you regressed and there's a very high possibility that you don't trust me at all.

Let me know if you're ready to celebrate a level up - or if you want to talk about anything or everything 🙂

I'm not lost, I just want you to find me x

[dilfdoctordoom]

On Tom Taylor, the Current Nightwing Run & Ableism

I did mention I was gonna do a post about it, so here we are. There are some things I want to make clear before we begin: the issue exploded on Twitter on the very first day of disabled Pride month; disabled people have been discussing the ableism in Taylor’s Nightwing run since it began; nobody has blamed Taylor for what happened to Barbara in 2011. We are, however, blaming him for the way she is written in his series during 2021. 

I am also going to be discussing the ableism in the fandom in this post. The reactions I have seen, from here to Twitter to TikTok, are showing not only a great misunderstanding of the situation, but a purposeful misunderstanding. The very real reasons disabled people are angry right now have been twisted to make us seem ridiculous and overly sensitive and I cannot help but feel that is very intentional.

Another quick addition: disabled people are not a monolith. Barbara Gordon spent over 20 years as a paralyzed wheelchair user. Stating (and I would like to note, never truly showing) that she is a part time cane user now is still erasing her disability. These things are not interchangeable.

So, with that out of the way, let’s begin.

Tom Taylor’s run is ableist. That is a fact of this situation. He made the active choice to include a version of Barbara Gordon that is ableist caricature. Story wise, the role that Barbara plays could have easily been filled by anyone else. There is no real season, within the narrative and outside of it, for Taylor to include this version of Barbara Gordon, who has received a decade of criticism from disabled people. It’s very well known that this iteration is problematic, to put it kindly, and Taylor is aware of that. 

He made the active decision to include her, anyway, showing, at the very least, that he is passively, if not actively, ableist. Passive ableism is still ableism and disabled people are allowed to take issue with that.

That alone is reason enough for disabled people to be angry. But that’s not why things exploded on Twitter.

On July 1st, the very first day of disabled pride month, the new design for Barbara was dropped. After months of teasing Barbara’s return to a wheelchair using Oracle (see: Last Days of The DC Universe, Batgirl (2016), etc), they debuted... a new Batgirl costume that the artist has openly said draws inspiration from the Burnside suit.

There’s a lot of issues to unpack here, so let’s start small: the issue with consciously calling back to Burnside. The Burnside era of Batgirl stories was... beyond awful. The villain of the series’ first arc, was an AI based on Barbara’s brain patterns when she was disabled. It was evil because of all the rage and pain Barbara felt. The actual Barbara, on the other hand, was good -- because she was able bodied. Because her PTSD had been tossed aside. It was a horrifically ableist era that drove the idea that Barbara’s life was terrible when she was disabled; that it was some horrible, twisted secret.

Comics have kept that narrative going. Barbara is seen hiding books on chronic pain; she reacts aggressively to the mere idea that she could be in a wheelchair again, acting like it would be weakness. Whereas Barbara had once been Oracle not because of, but in spite of, her disability, who was fantastic representation for the disabled community, she now acts like it is the most shameful thing in her life.

To call back to Burnside is to call back to that ableism and make no critique of it. If anything, it’s to embrace the ideas of that era.

There is also the design itself to consider. Many people have pointed out the inclusion of a back brace, as if that saves it from ableism -- it does not. Any person who has ever worn a back brace can take one look at this design and know that they did not consult a disabled person. Hell, by how impractical that thing is, I doubt they even Googled a picture of a back brace.

It’s a superficial acknowledgement that Barbara is supposed to be disabled. Something that was apparently thrown in to appease the numerous complaints of Barbara being able bodied; something that no one working on it put any effort into.

When it comes to aids, this is not a new thing for Barbara in Infinite Frontier. She’s said to be using a cane occasionally, that we got a better look at in Batman: Urban Legends, and as any cane user can tell you... that is not a cane that could feasibly be used. It’s another pathetic attempt to acknowledge that Barbara is supposed to be disabled, without actually doing anything of importance.

[IMAGE ID:  A segmented cane with a tri-pointed handle with a wrist strap. There is a stripe across the sections to connection them, labelled “solar battery charger buttons”. The text reads: “telescoping antenna doubles as cane or weapon if needed”. END ID]

Dropping this design (which we have now established to be problematic) on the very first day of disabled pride month is a sickening move. The very first day, and DC has doubled down on their disability erasure, thrown in superficial things like a back brace to act like it’s fine.

Tom Taylor is definitely involved in this, whether you like it not. No, he is not in anyway responsible for the events of the New 52 and what they did to Barbara Gordon, but that does not absolve him of blame for what is currently being done to her in his run.

When the design dropped, it started trending due to disabled fans reactions. To be clear: we were directly calling out the ableism in this design. This was Tom Taylor’s response:

[IMAGE ID: A tweet from TomTaylorMade that says: “Hey, @Bruna_Redono_F I think our new Batgirl suit is getting some attention.” He then adds a winky face emoji and tags @jesswchen and @drinkpinkkink. Attached are a screenshot showing that Batgirl is trending in the United States and a picture of the design itself. END ID]

This is him, bragging about how the disabled community reacted. Perhaps before this tweet, you could’ve made an argument that he was not ableist, but after he flaunted the fact that disabled people were rightly furious over this, like it was something to be proud of? No. If you are defending him, you are a part of the problem.

Taylor has included ableist writing in his Nightwing run, beyond the inherent ableism that comes with the current iteration of Barbara Gordon (whose inclusion, yet again, is his decision).

[IMAGE ID: A panel from Nightwing #79. Barbara and Dick are standing in his apartment. Barbara is saying: “I have some pretty new technology holding my spine together. I’m happy to do most things -- eat pizza in the park, take down low-level thugs -- but leaping from rooftops seems... unwise.” END ID]

What Barbara says in the panel above has bothered a lot of disabled people. The implication that she couldn’t “eat pizza in the park’ and “take down low-level thugs” without a spinal implant that conveniently erases her disability is... fucked up, to put it mildly. Those are both things that Barbara has done in a wheelchair. The first one is something wheelchair users can do and the implication that it’s not is beyond offensive.

But, let’s leave Barbara behind for a moment. I have previously mentioned that disabled people have been discussing the ableism present in this run long before July -- and that ableism is not only centred on Barbara. Dick is also a player in all this.

Dick Grayson was shot in the head. I don’t believe I need to retread the story, but just in case: Dick was shot in the head by KGBeast, developed amnesia from the event, and went by Ric Grayson for a long enough period in comics. If you have been active within the DC fandom for the past year or so, you know all about this controversial storyline and its fallout.

The Ric Grayson arc concluded itself the issue before Taylor became the writer for the series and ever since his tenure has begun, Taylor has completely ignored the reality of Dick being a disabled man. We understand this is comics, that things do not function the way they do in our world, but still -- it is clear that this gunshot wound to the head has affected Dick massively. We had an entire arc dedicated to how he struggled to find himself in the aftermath.

Taylor is choosing to write Dick as an able-bodied man, despite his canonical injuries and how they would impact his life.

This man is choosing to give empty gestures towards Barbara being a disabled woman (as discussed above, the completely dysfunctional back brace, etc) whilst writing her as able-bodied as possible. He writes both Dick and Barbara as able bodied as humanly possible. That is ableist. He is ableist. This is the same man that said he made a dog disabled ‘in honour of Barbara’. I do not think I need to elaborate on why that is bad.

The least he could’ve done, was get a sensitivity reader. We know that Taylor is not beyond getting people from marginalized communities to consult on his work (see: Suicide Squad), so why, when writing two characters that should be disabled, one that the disabled community have been criticising for a decade, does he not reach out to a single disabled person? A mere Google search could’ve improved the situation massively. In both the new design and the current writing, it is beyond clear that this is not just an able-bodied person writing it -- it’s an ableist person.

He could have listened to the numerous disabled fans that spoke out. Instead, he chose not only to refuse to do that, but to describe justifiable anger as ‘raging’. He treated us like we were crazy for daring to speak out about blatant ableism being parading around of us in our pride month.

Tom Taylor has failed to do the bare minimum and in doing so, he is, at very, very least, guilty of complicity. Again: passive ableism is still ableism.

The argument at hand is not just about Barbara Gordon and the continuing ableism that shines out from her current writing. The argument is about the treatment of disabled characters in his run. It has also become about the way he treats physically disabled people.

We also can’t have this conversation without acknowledging the fandom’s role in it all. I waited a day to write this up, to allow all the reactions to flood in... and I am sickened.

We have everything across the board. Able-bodied people that have actually listened to disabled people, who have supported us (which is deeply appreciated). Able-bodied people who may have had good intentions, but a skewed sense of the situation and perpetuating some of the more insidious lies being spread around (IE. that this is only about the new costume).

There are, obviously, the ableist reactions, though, that we will be discussing here. People deeming the current issues as ‘crazy’, calling disabled people ‘overly sensitive’ and ‘delusional’. Many people have completely glossed over the examples given for why Taylor, specifically, is ableist, and instead have resorted to telling disabled people that we are wrong and should be mad at DC instead.

It’s important to note that Tom Taylor is an adult man. He doesn’t need a fandom to attack disabled people for daring to call him out. He is not the victim in this situation; he has, for quite a few disabled people, been the aggressor.

I have seen claims that Infinite Frontier is a ‘slow burn’, implying that disabled people need to patient... as if we have not waited a decade for less ableist writing. There is a complete refusal from able-bodied fans to actually listen to what disabled people are saying. They would much rather rush to the defence of the (honestly rather mediocre) current Nightwing run. 

Disabled fans know that comic book spaces are ableist. We know that both DC and Marvel and many of their writers are ableist. We are still allowed to be pissed as hell about it and acting like the current reaction being had right now is disabled people being ‘overdramatic’ is yet another example of how the able-bodied side of the fandom both refuses to listen to and undermine disabled people when we call out ableism.

We know it when we see it. We always do and we always will and we will always be able to recognize it far faster than an able-bodied person. If this many disabled fans are coming out and talking about an issue, calling it ableism, then it’s time for you shut up and listen.

Stop being a part of the problem and start supporting disabled fans for once.

[a-scaly-troublemaker]

Here's my characters I relate to list

Updated because I found out about kin discourse and don't want to bother anyone

Ruvyzvat (Friday Night Funkin' Mid Fight Masses/Date Night Masses) - I'm an antisocial, prickly motherfucker more often than not. I also have a strong and lawless sense of justice. I would love to see objectively horrible people (ex, war criminal) get smited by vigilantes. I also have a very tight group of people I trust in real life. Only like, one. My social skills are so bad that they get me shit-canned sometimes.

Sarvente (Friday Night Funkin' Mid Fight Masses/Date Night Masses) - I'm seen as a sweetheart by some people, and several also claim that I'm a great singer. I'm also very accepting of diverse people, cultures, etc. People are people, fuck whatever the bigots think. I've studied flower symbolism and would absolutely use it in floral themed AUs, too.

Whitty/Whitmore (Friday Night Funkin' Vs. Whitty, which was sadly taken down because of Twitter drama. sigh) I hate social interactions with a burning passion because I always feel like the elephant in the room, so I hide. I also feel like there's always someone who's gonna come after me for whatever I'm doing. I have a 'fuck you' punk rock attitude, until someone comes after me, then I'm timid as shit and kinda have a lowkey panic attack. I'm rarely seen not wearing a jacket of some kind.

Dark Choco Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) - I feel detached and disconnected from my family. I also am so incredibly insecure that it's depressing. I berate myself regularly and don't believe I'll be able to change much, if at all. My family hasn't been able to help much with this, on the rare occasion that they try. I also still struggle with mental illness along with my habitual 'oh I forgot to take my ADHD meds NO WONDER I CAN'T SLEEP'. I'm also afraid that other people are going to hurt me and don't trust on a personal level all that easily.

Dark Cacao Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) - I hide some of my inner workings expertly, because I may have repressed them into practical nonexistence. I also hold a few of my mistakes in the past against myself to this day. I also tend to self-isolate whenever given the opportunity to do so. I'm also cynical as shit and take kindness towards me as a fleeting act that will likely not come again.

Milk Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) - I care a lot about what others are going through, even if I don't know how to help and even if my politics are always in the back of my mind.

Truffle Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) I'm reclusive as shit when allowed to self-isolate. I just hide in my own little corner of existence and stay there until I absolutely have to leave. Feel free to step into my little bubble of paradise in the blighted hellscape that is planet Earth. Be warned, there's some crazy shit in my little bubble that might scare you.

Purple Yam Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) - I can get irritated at the slightest, most insignificant detail in some of the things that I do and perceive around me.

Red Velvet Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) - I love animals and get along with animals better than some people. I would likely never leave my room if allowed to stay there forever.

Espresso Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) - When I work on something I'm passionate about, I may not stop working on it for hours, and will fuss over every little detail. I'm also not afraid to call people out on their hypocrisy, to the point that it can cause issues when our situations differ dramatically. I also have sudden moments of 'I can't fucking sleep' because I enjoy roleplaying with friends over Discord too much. My bluntness has been a small problem in the past. To top it off, I habitually listen to audio that will keep me awake at that time.

Madeleine Cookie (Cookie Run Franchise) - Let me stay in my own little bubble, because everything outside of it has done, at best, nothing.

Peacock/Patricia Watson (Skullgirls Franchise) - I'm a little unhinged sometimes, and what I wear can lend a dubious aura to me, but don't be frightened by my mayhem. It's fun for me, and I normally mean well, even when someone gets mad at me for my antics. I also have random spaz moments sometimes that can be glorious and hilarious to behold. I've also had a rough past that still haunts me on some level, though what that level is, I don't know.

[xhellkittyx]

About EA's T.O.U regarding mods/cc

Thanks to Creator Updates on Tumblr, who linked to EA's Terms of Use, I can now with a happy face say that EA allows for using early access on custom content. Which means, I will continue doing my early access, like I have done so far. And to "celebrate" and say thanks to my sweet patreons who didn't leave when I was unsure of the situation and choose to stop my uploads temporarily (even though it did not last that long) I will very soon put out 3 or 4 early access at once which I hope will be appreciated😊 Also, for September, I will pause the payment as a celebration of my birthday, so anyone who are already a patreon, or who pledges before september, will get September free (I will make a reminder post with more details about it when we are getting a bit closer to september)

And here it is, EA saying Early Access is okay

If you are interested in reading the whole Terms of Use from EA considering mods/cc, you can read it HERE 

I also want to say thanks to all the amazing creators out there and CC/mods users who did NOT go out there, trashing creators for their choice to create cc and trying to live off their joy & hobbies by doing early access. You guys are awesome, and good karma will come your way ❤

Seeing how the sims community have been the last few days on twitter and tumblr (in particular), have made me ashamed of being part of such and awful, hateful, ignorant and horrible community. I can't understand how people can be so mean, and so horrible towards each other in an community who are supposed to be known for being loving, supporting and friendly. I do feel so sorry for all creators this hate have affected the last few days. It is not okay to treat people like shit just because some vague news, faked screenshots and people screaming loud without having the whole picture. My heart goes out to everyone who have gotten hate, disrespect and horrible comments these days❤

And to those who have been going crazy and treating people like shit, SHAME ON YOU !!! You should know better than acting like this. It's disgusting seeing how you all been acting! Creators are just people too, trying their best to do something nice and something they enjoy. You all should be ashamed for even being capable of acting like this towards people you don't even know. I am a believer in karma, and karma will come and give you all what u deserve. And most of you, should probably take a look in the mirror, or your own closet before you start judging others and being this level of rude !

But anyways In short terms this means: - I will keep doing Early Access as I been doing so far (And i will still NEVER use patreon exclusive or any other form for paywall exclusive) - My early access will last 7 days or 14 days. Never any more - Patreon tiers will stay the same, and benefits will stay the same - And life will go back to normal again

(CC used in the sim picture at top is listed in my original patreon post with cc links included)

Are you against me (or any other creators) doing early access? Feel free to unfollow. I don't care. If you have any opinions or something you want to say? My ask box and direct messages are always open (here and on all of my social media sites). And by the love of goth, if you are going to trashtalk or be nasty, please have the courage to do it off anon, don't be a coward hiding being anon if you are gonna pretend you are a bigshot speaking your mind 😸