#i feel like one thing that makes me and my brother easier is keeping lists of cds and dvds we want (and books for me idt he reads much)

[autumnrory]

FINALLY starting to feel a little better about christmas though i only have two things on me and one thing ordered BUT i got a list of books from my mom so i can order those when i order the cookbook for my sister in law and my mom also mentioned something my sister wants that i could get, gonna do most of the kids' shopping on friday, still need ideas for my nephew and godson though, plus i have general ideas for my dad and brother lol you guys are getting gift cards and a little something else bc you are too difficult for me to shop for ANYWAY like i am going to make progress in the coming days so it's fine

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Doing Time 4

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, threats, age gap, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: you try to keep your brother safe in jail but put yourself in danger along the way.

Characters: con/ex-con!Steve Rogers

Note: Hi hi hi

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You don't own many dresses, and those you do, are more office casual than date night. Still, you have no time to stall, no room for excuses. You pick out the only one you think you can still squeeze into.

A button-up black dress with long sleeves, a white collar, and white trim around the sleeves and ruffled hem. It's something that would look much better on Audrey Hepburn. 

You check yourself in the mirror. You shouldn't care but you have to. If you want to get out the other side of this, if you want Vaughn to, you need to go along with it. You need to keep Steve happy. 

You emerge, as content as you can be with your appearance after a day of work and an unsettling homecoming. You keep your eyes on the floor as you wring your hands. You need heels, something to match. 

Before you can pass him, Steve stomps toward you. He pinches the frill around your skirt. "You look amazing, sweetheart." He lets go and drags his hand up your thigh and hip. "Can't believe it's the real thing, right in front of me." 

"Uh, yeah," you agree weakly. "I need shoes." 

"Sure, sweetheart, take your time. Get dolled up," he moves away with a sultry sigh. 

You feel him watching you as you shift around and search the shoe rack. You bend over to take out the black vinyl kitten heels and he purrs. You wince and stand up, wobbling as you step into them. 

"Hate to be too forward but I was away a while. Pretty lady like you has me all hot under the collar," he snickers. "Gotta say that dress hugs you in all the right places." 

"Thank you," you murmur and untangle the thin strap of a small purse. You shuffle around your work bag and slip your ID and debit card inside, along with a tube of lip balm. 

"You don't gotta be so shy," he nears. "I mean, I should be. Being locked up, I forget the way things are out here." He steps close and spreads his hand across your ass. "Just so nice to touch you...but I'll be a good boy and take you on a date first." 

You shudder and resist the urge to shove him away. You force a smile, "where are we going?" 

"Somewhere close," he answers and peels his hand off of you. "Been a while since I had a date," he snorts. "If you can't guess." 

"Me too," you mutter as you back up toward the door. You grab your keys. 

"Oh yeah? How long?" He asks as he opens the door and gestures you through. 

"How... er..." you think about it.  

You've not been on many. Vaughn always kept the men away. Even if they wanted a second date, it was never many more than that. 

"At least a year, I think," you step into the hall and he comes out after you. 

You lock the door as he stays close. You tuck the keys into your purse and he offers his hand. "Ready, sweetheart?" 

You don't hesitate. No more of that. You can't keep pushing your luck. You put your hand in his. You can feel his strength. 

He takes you down the hallway and patiently assists you down the stairs as your heels make your steps unsure. Or maybe that’s him. He’s especially gallant for someone like him. A criminal. Wait, no, he’s been absolved, hasn’t he? 

He slips his hand along your lower back as you come outside. There’s a hitch in his strut. Victory. 

“Got her out of storage, fresh wax,” he announces as he approaches the white vintage car you noticed before.

It’s strange how you can pick every single thing that’s out of place but you can never put them together. It was the same with Vaughn. 

“It’s very nice,” you say. “I don’t know much about cars, my brother...” 

You trail off. You’d rather not think or talk about him right now. 

Steve opens the passenger door for you. You get in and he lingers at your door. He purrs. 

“You really do look just perfect, sweetheart.” he tickles your jawline then draws back.  

He finally shuts you in. You shiver as you watch him through the windshield. You fix the hem of the skirt as it rides up with the two sizes you’ve put on since you bought it. Or maybe it shrunk? You pinch yourself as you do, hoping you might wake up from this nightmare. 

No, you’re already awake. Painfully so. 

Steve gets in and you peek over for just a second. The seat emphasizes his size. Everything seems to remind you of his power over you. Over your family.  

You’re so stupid. You have no one to blame but yourself. What were you thinking? Thanking a convinct? A criminal? A murderer? Or not a murderer? 

“You’re tired,” he says as he backs out, “seat belt, sweetheart. Last thing I need is an accident.” 

You buckle up. You dab your nose as it tingles. Don’t cry. You have to play this right. Pretend. 

“A little, yeah. Work...” 

“At the clinic, right?” He prompts. 

It’s like the phone calls. That familiarity he puts on. Your head spins as you replay all those nights in your head. It struck you then how presumptuous he could be. How he said ‘we’. His presence then reframes every call, every visit. They were not the same to him as you. 

“Yeah, a lot of phone call,” you swallow as your throat scratches. “People don’t like waiting.” 

“Tell me about it,” he chuckles. “After how long I waited for this...” 

You stare at his hand. Huge, thick, gripping the slender wheel. You put your eyes to your lap and play with the ruffle. 

“We’re gonna have a good night, sweetheart. You and me.” He preens. “A lot of them.” 

You nod and turn your face to the window, “yes, Steve. Thank you.” 

⛓️‍💥

The restaurant is nice. As you’re greeted at the door, Steve snakes his hand down your arm and twines his fingers through yours. As he squeezes, you realise how strange it must be to him. You shouldn’t empathize with him, not with all the threats, with how he’s taken your life over in less than an hour, but you do. 

“Table for two,” he says. 

The hostess smiles, “yes, sir. I can find you something.” 

She grabs two menus and a smaller one from the desk. She turns and leads you into the dining room. You walk just ahead of Steve as he urges you on, though his hand stays on yours. She stops you at a round table framed with a crescent bench. 

“Booth alright?” 

“Sure is,” Steve answers. 

He holds onto you until you sit. You slide around and he follows. The hostess lays out the menus. 

“Drink menu,” she points to the thinner folio, “a server will be by soon.” 

“Thank you,” you gulp out of courtesy, Steve echoing you. 

You clasp your hands in your lap as he takes the wine list and opens it. You’re not very hungry. Or thirsty. You’re scared. 

You glance at him, the around the restaurant. To the other diners, to the staff, he’s just another man. The suit hides his true character. If you passed him on the street, you’d assume he was some refined businessman. 

“Red or white?” He asks. 

You look at him again. The silver strands woven into his blond shine beneath the chandelier lighting above. You drag your hand up your sleeve. 

“You know, I’m not much of a drinker,” you murmur. 

“Well, it’s a special night, isn’t it, baby?” He drawls and closes the folder. 

He sets it down and you shift forward on the seat. He touches your lower back again, tickling you through your dress. Your posture goes rigid as you open the menu and focus on the options. He pulls his menu down, leaning it on the table’s edge as he continues to pet you, his other hand cradling the folder. 

“Steak. Mm. Been a while since I had a good filet,” he growls. 

“Sounds nice,” you nod. 

“What about you?” He wonders and traces his finger up your spine. 

“Hm, the pistachio crusted halibut sounds interesting,” you tap your nails on the page. 

“You don’t gotta peck like a bird around me,” his hand falls right back down, right along the top of your ass. “You really got a nice figure, sweetheart.” 

You fidget and flutter your lashes, “thank you. It’s not that. I was thinking... something light for dinner and the rice pilaf sounds interesting.” 

“Ah,” he trails along the cushion of your rear, “god, you’re so...” 

His voice peters off and a server appears across the table. He sits up and clears his throat. The man in his pressed white shirt and black slacks is amiable as he prompts you for your order. Steve lets you go first. You close the menu and hand it over after you order. 

“Of course, miss,” the server smiles at you. He’s young and handsome. These sort of restaurants only hire a certain type. 

“Bottle of champagne,” Steve begins, “we’re celebrating,” his arm curls around your middle, “and the New York Strip...” He finishes up his order and shoves the menu across the table. What’s that about? 

“Yes, sir, I’ll be back with the bottle and put your order in,” the server nods and glances between the both of you. 

He strides away and Steve growls. His fingertips dig into your side. He leans back and sucks his teeth. 

“Is something... wrong?” You twist to look at him. 

“That... guy. Looking at you like that,” he sneers. “He’s supposed to be taking our order, not ogling you.” 

“No, he wasn’t, Steve,” you assure him. 

“Sure as hell was. You’re just too sweet to notice. His eyes were all over you,” he huffs and his leg sways in agitation. “Judging me. Thinks I’m too old.” 

“Steve, he was perfectly polite,” you say, “please, you said it’s going to be a good night.” 

You bite your tongue as you examine his face. His sudden anger, his paranoia, unsettles you even more. His jaw ticks as he grits his teeth. 

“Steve,” you touch his sleeve, “please, I’m not here with the server, am I?” 

His blue eyes flick over to you. They search your face. You force a smile. 

You have to keep from wincing as he reaches for you. He frames your face with his large hand and grins, “you’re right, sweetheart.” He draws you closer. You let him. “All mine.” 

He meets your lips with his and you swallow a gasp. His nose brushes yours as he kisses you, softly, then his tongue glides over your lips. You resist for only a second then let him in. His hand slips behind your head as he locks you in. You brace his chest as he takes your breath away. 

“Ahem,” the server clears his throat. 

You rip away from Steve as he snickers. He wipes his mouth shamelessly as you shrink down in embarrassment. The server uncorks the bottle with a pop, his smile effortlessly hiding all judgment. He’s probably honed against all types of customers. 

He pours the bubbly and leaves the bottle. You watch him go and squirm. Steve sits up and takes his glass, “what’sa matter, sweetheart?” 

“N-nothing, I don’t-- I don’t usually do that... in public,” you sniff. 

He laughs again, “I know, you’re a good girl.” He hovers his glass. You take yours and he clinks his against it, “to us.” 

“To... us.” You echo softly. 

You drink as he does, mirroring him. It’s sweet and bubbly. He sets the glass down and reaches for the bottle. He grips it and drags it closer. 

“Only one for me, since I’m driving, so help yourself,” he says. “You deserve it. A nice night to let go.” 

“Oh, I...” you stare at the dark glass. Why did he order the whole bottle? 

He slaps his hand on your thigh and you squeak. Your hand falls over his instinctively. You look at him and lick the moisture from your lips. He growls and kneads your flesh. 

“Sweetheart,” he rasps. “Aren’t you happy? I’m here.” 

Your eyes dart back and forth, “yes, I’m happy.” 

He pushes his shoulders back and his cheek dimples, he shifts on the cushion. His other hand tugs at the top of his belt. 

“Not gonna lie, gonna be hard to hold out all night,” he smirks. “Six years...” 

You blink at him. You won’t look down. That’s too much. 

“You gonna be nice to me?” He leans in to nuzzle your cheek, tickling the back of your neck so you shiver. “Huh? I’m so pent up, baby, you gotta take it easy on me.” 

You shudder and ball your hand up tightly. Your stomach is roaring but not from hunger. The more you think about what he means, what he expects, the sicker you feel. 

“It’s been... a while for me too,” you assure him. “We can take it slow.” 

“Slow, baby?” He hums. “Oh, I don’t think I can.” 

[gardenialver]

Girlies

synopsis - telling him a secret about girls

pairings - Tetsurou Kuroo, Shoyo Hinata, Kenma Kozume

content - fluff, reader is afab and fem, mentions of: periods, pads, boobs, discharge, boob touching but not in a sexual context, wet hair, it's slightly alluded to the length and texture of the readers hair but I've tried to make it slightly more upto interpretation

Tetsurou Kuroo

"Babe, I'm gonna tell you a secret but you can't tell anyone ok?" Your boyfriend looked at you with shaking eyes, "Why are you nervous?" You laugh at him, hitting his shoulder lightly.

"You're making it sound like you're about to tell me you've killed 5 people," You put your legs up over his lap and he holds onto them, "I'm not, this is a girl thing ok? You have to promise not to tell anyone,"

He leaned closer to you, shoving his face into yours, with a hand you pushed him away, keeping your fingers on his cheek. "When girls change their pad, they stick it onto the wall," You felt Kuroo's cheek raise as his face contoured to confusion.

"Wait so you like stick it onto the wall?" You nodded at him, "Yeah we just kinda," You made a slapping motion, "Wait, why?" You side-eyed him, a judgy look on your face.

"Because it's conventional, if you put it on your leg then it hurts like it hurts to take a bandaid off, you always whine when we have to get blood-tested, and if you put it on your leg then it sticks and you get your uterus tissue and blood on your leg and that's nasty,"

"If you put it on the floor then you have to bend to get it and that's uncomfortable and lowkey hurts but if it's on the wall, then you put your new pad on and then grab your old one and roll it up and throw it away, easy, conventional, clean, painless,"

"Wait, that makes so much sense," You nodded, "See, anyways you promise not to tell anyone I told you this, this is top secret," He nodded intently. You placed a small kiss on his cheek and he smiled into you.

Shoyo Hinata

"False alarm it was actually just discharge," You call out to Shoyo as you turn off the washroom light, there he was standing with painkillers, a ginormous plush, a heating pack, and an assortment of desserts.

"Thank you babe," You greet him with a kiss, touched at the lengths he went to just under the pretense that you may be on your period. Despite that he still gave you the large plush and put everything else away, crashing onto your shared bed.

His arms wrapped around you underneath your chest, tossing and turning, ending with you groaning and him stopping with wide worried eyes. "I'M SORRY DEAR ARE YOU OK?? WAS I TOO ROUGH I'M SO SORRY," All you could get out was a pained, "My boobs hurt"

There he was on the bed bowing in apology while you clutched your chest, one hand clutching onto the plush. "I'M SORRY I FORGOT THEY GET SORE!!! DO YOU WANT ME TO MASSAGE THEM OR ANYTHING??" Your boyfriend continued to worry but you threw your plush at him with teary eyes. "NO YOU PERVERT" "I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT BABE I'M SORRY"

After a while of back and forth you laid your head against his chest. "It's so annoying Sho, that I keep preparing and thinking my period's here and it's not." He held you close, cupping your chest lightly to lift the weight off of you.

"The discharge wasn't this bad before was it?" He asks peering down at you and you only lull your head, "No it's been this bad I'd just never tell you properly." He pressed a long kiss to your cheek, "My poor babbyyyyy" He droned.

"Your boobs get very sore, your cravings kinda startish? The headaches and back pain, sometimes you get early cramps," He began to list and just saying it out loud made your body feel even worse and as she felt the weight pressing against him he leaned back.

"Is it like this for all girls? I only have Natsu to go off of and I'm sure she'd be uncomfortable telling her adult brother that," He said while moving his hands to rub your back.

"Yeah, I mean some girls have it easier and only get it for like 3-4 days and their pre-symptoms aren't as bad but it's definitely bad enough for you to mistake it as your period." While offering comforting kisses he continued to ask questions.

"Ohhh is this why girls will pack double the underwear on a trip for like three days?" You nodded, "So this is that type of emergency?" You nodded again, holding him closer out of the need for affection.

"DO YOU WANT ME TO CHANGE YOU???" "PERVERT" You yelled again lamely hitting him. "I'M SORRY, I JUST FEEL LIKE I FINALLY HAD AN EPIPHANY, A REVELATION, A BREAKTHROUGH." "A full circle moment? Well an emergency is also if you get your period and then you leak"

He nodded and adjusted himself closer to you, "Thank you for telling me babe," He cheerily thanks and you nodded, lips finally turning up at another kiss.

Kenma Kozume

With a towel slung over your shoulders you smiled at the feeling of cool air hitting your skin, "Babe I'm done showering" You call out to him, your slippers thumping against your feet and the flooring as you find him.

"Thanks I'll go shower now," He mutters to you, holding your hand momentarily before sulking off to the washroom. As you settled into his gaming chair, preparing to benefit off of his high levels and high currency in games you heard the usual shriek, pouting as you went to check on him.

"[Lastname] [Name], can you stop doing this." He scolded you while pointing to the cluster on the wall, "No," "What is this?" "Uh, my hair??" He rolled his eyes, "This is gross, this is nasty, why is your wet hair in clumps on the shower wall, THE SHOWER THAT WE SHARE"

"Ugh, stop being so dramatic, be happy it's not in the bath, either way all girls do this," He deadpans at you, "I don't care if all girls do it, I don't want to see your wet hair whenever I go to shower, your hair's long too''

"Can you stop being misogynistic? My hair's not even as long as you're saying it is" You mock him, trying to leave until you were held back. "No can you get rid of it?" He glared with his arm wrapped around you.

"Why can't you just do it yourself?" But you still complied as he carried you from point A, the shower wall, to point B, the trash can. "Ok now go shower in peace," You finally left the room, the steamed room now suffocating you since you had finished your shower.

Sighing again at the cool air that hit your exposed skin you went back to playing games on Kenma's computer, finally getting touchy with him when he emerged from the washroom.

You wrapped yourself around him, watching him play a horror game, your own version of mansplaining coming out of you whenever he wouldn't follow your instructions.

As time passed so did you and your partner's bathing practice. "I've finished showering babe," You call out to him, a new set of pajamas on your body and the usual sigh of refresh when feeling the slight breeze of the cooler air outside the bathroom.

Again your slippers thumped against the floor while you searched for Kenma, "Hi Kodzuken," You teased as you placed your chin against his shoulder.

He rolled his eyes and continued playing a little longer before he finally left to wash, allowing you to take over his gaming set. "pikmin" But again you were stopped by a noise of alarm in the bathroom.

However, this time instead of annoyance you now had a small smile on your face, knowing exactly what he was calling you for. "What??" "DID YOU MAKE F****** APPLETUN WITH YOUR WET HAIR??" "No that's obviously Wooloo, have fun showering,"

[angelwings-crossbowstrings]

Chapter 26

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Mainly just pregnancy stuff

A/N: I hope I pulled this off while keeping our archer in character. Be gentle.

You knew it was bothering him, it was evident in the way he moved. The jerking slices of the knife as he made bolts while he sat cross legged on the old railing across from you. You were perched on the porch swing—he had all but jumped up and down on it to make sure it would hold you safely—just watching him, guilt flaring to singe the inside of your chest. He wanted to go on the run, get the things that you and the baby needed, but you were scared. Hershel had said the baby could come any day. It was at your insistence that Daryl wasn’t going. You didn’t have to try hard, mind you. He was worried about leaving you as well.

Still, it wasn’t sitting right with him for the others to be risking their necks for his baby.

“Maybe you should go.” You finally said, picking at your thumbnail. You saw his movements come to an abrupt halt before continuing.

“Nah. Ya need me here.” He sniffed, starting up on another piece of wood. He had legitimate bolts with his crossbow, so you could only assume he was just trying to keep his hands busy. He was so undeniably torn and it was showing.

“I think you should. You know what I need. You’ve read the books. Maggie will be there to help with the medical side of things, the list Hershel made.” You sat up straighter, attempting to massage the little foot away from your ribs. Of course, Daryl noticed.

“S’wrong?” He was climbing off the rail and made it over to you in one long stride, giving you a once over before he sat down. He didn’t ask before taking over for you, lightly rubbing over the little form of toes with the smallest, gentlest of smiles. You’d almost consent to constant discomfort if it meant you’d see more of that expression.

“Thumper has a personal vendetta against my ribcage.” Your head found your partner’s shoulder, watching that same laser focus that had moments ago been on the wood he was carving now honed in on you. For a moment, you were just a couple expecting a baby. For a moment, the world hadn’t ended. For a moment, you had managed to find perfect. “I love you.”

Daryl’s hand froze but for a mere heartbeat before his fingertips continued chasing little toes as if he were playing a game with the baby, when in reality he was simply trying to divert the tiny digits away from your ribs. “So ya keep sayin’.”

“So you keep saying. Is that all you’re ever gonna say?” You weren’t angry, not even frustrated. There was merely a soft curiosity that sat in the back of your mind; along with the little voice that assured you Daryl was yours and you were his, even if he could never say the words.

“Dunno.” It always unsettled you when he spoke so quietly, small and fragile as if he feared his words would end in some sort of pain. God, you wanted to bury his father in a gopher hole, maybe even his mother and brother. It was normal for a person to be unsure of feelings, to question and explore before accepting what they were, good or bad. Daryl didn’t have that capability. He questioned. He explored. And then he feared, good or bad. He didn’t think he deserved good and he was so attuned with bad that it’s what came naturally in his own reactions. Perhaps he thought you were trying to fix him, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. You didn’t see anything broken. You saw someone who had never been shown what love was supposed to feel like. He wasn’t broken, he just needed to learn, and Daryl was good at learning. 

Still you persevered, your fingers finding their way into his hair, delicately tracing the scar from Andrea’s bullet. “Do you love me, Daryl?” Maybe narrowing it down to a simple yes or no would make it easier for him. Maybe you were pushing him. You would need time if the answer was no but you would be okay. He cared enough to be with you, to raise Thumper as a family. In the end, that was all you needed.

But then his hand stilled on the center of your swollen belly and he lifted his head to seek out your gaze. Even with all the emotion stirring in those stormy pools of blue, you could easily see the fear, but there was something else. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, the color darkening somewhat as it grew. Even with that comforting gesture, you held his gaze, heard his breath stutter, watched his lips move so, so nimbly without a sound. His free hand came up to brush back your own hair, tenderly tucking it behind your ear. As he leaned toward you, the corners of your mouth lifted into a welcoming smile.

“Y/N, I—”

“We’re heading out!” Glenn called from the doorway before stepping onto the porch. Daryl pulled away fast, his hands on his knees, eyes downcast. 

You were going to absolutely torture Glenn before you murdered him.

“You sure you don’t wanna go, Daryl?” Rick had joined Glenn and was checking his weapons before he finally looked up.

Daryl, though, only had eyes for you; his bowed head angled to see you, questioning. 

You sighed with a smile, giving him a nudge with your elbow. “Go. Try to find those bra pad things. Cloths suck and they hurt my nipples.” There was no deeper shade of red that could color his skin. You laughed, loud and true. “Go. We’ll be fine.” Licking his lips nervously, Daryl nodded and left the swing.

T-Dog held out the archer’s bag and crossbow. “Thought you might change your mind. Went ahead and grabbed these.” He only received a nod. 

The group began to descend the steps, but Daryl paused at the end, looking back to you. He closed the distance in seconds, a finger hooking under your chin to lift your face higher, even though you were already looking at him. “Be back ‘fore dark. Promise.”

That earned him one of your sweetest smiles. “We’ll be waiting.” You patted your belly. The rough hand at your chin, moved to your jaw, his thumb stroking the apple of your cheek. “I love you, Daryl. Be safe.” He hesitated, long enough for something to stir in your chest. Hope? Excitement? Then he merely nodded and was gone.

You and Lori were given the least strenuous tasks. She was not far behind you. A few weeks, her belly almost as prominent as your own. Luckily, you found it helped for folding clothing before stuffing them in the correct bag. Your bare feet were propped up in a chair across from you, your ankles swollen, squeezed by the socks that you had to wear to keep them warm. Your body just ached all over. Thumper Dixon was playing field hockey with your internal organs and the nausea you had definitely not missed was threatening to make a comeback. You just felt awful.

“The last month is the worst.” Lori commented while packing away some of Carl’s clothing. “And it’ll take a while after the baby comes to feel human again.”

“Growing a human fucking sucks.” You groused, one of Daryl’s few shirts lying spread over your torso. “And goddamnit, I have to pee. I always have to pee.”

“Means you’re hydrated at least. Silver linings.” Lori tittered. If anyone had been watching the two of you battling to your feet, it would have been worthy of more than a few chuckles.

“Thanks for going with me. Daryl would have a kitten if I went alone.” When you straightened, there was an immediate feeling of change in your body that had you looking to Lori, eyes wide. “Holy shit, I can breathe but I feel like I’m gonna piss my pants and my hips hurt.”

She smiled and placed her hands over her own round bump. “The baby dropped. You're carrying differently now. I wish we had a mirror.” 

“Carrying differently? What do you—oh.” You immediately noticed when you began to massage the taut skin that the swell sat lower. You suddenly couldn’t remember a word the old man had said. Were you about to go into labor? How would Daryl know? You couldn’t do it without him.

“Easy, Y/N.” At some point, the other woman had crossed the small space and put her hands on your shoulders, your stomachs brushing against one another. “It just means the baby’s getting ready. Though, I think after this run, Daryl should probably consider staying behind on any others.” You nodded, trying to get your breathing under control. In through the nose, out through the mouth. “Let’s go take care of business and then let Hershel do his daily thing, okay?”

You nodded again, a jerky motion while you trembled. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.” You followed behind her, trying to keep your mind on the fact that if you didn’t empty your bladder within the next couple of minutes, you would still be incredibly anxious but you would be so with wet pants. “Maybe the little gremlin can’t reach my ribs now.”

You felt like crap. All day, you felt heavy and sluggish, swollen and nauseous. By late afternoon, you just couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“Carol.” You spoke her name quietly, leaning onto the dusty countertop to pillow your head on your folded arms. You saw the concern on her face when she turned from canned foods with which she was planning small meals. You couldn’t even wave away her worry. “Do you need my help right now? I think I’d really like to lie down.” 

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” She came to place a hand on your back, rubbing softly. It only succeeded in making your yearn for Daryl to be there, easing your fears in his own Daryl way. He would probably already have an aneurysm when someone told him that you’d done work, light as it was. And then you needed to tell him that the baby had indeed dropped. God, even if you didn’t tell him, he’d notice with that keen eye of his. Your stomach had shifted, still round but lower. There was so much pressure on your pelvis that you thought the bones might separate at any moment. Lori had promised that what you were feeling was normal, that it was simply new and you would take a day or two to adjust unless the baby decided to make its debut before you could.

“I just don’t feel well.” You stood straighter, nodding that she could remove her hand and you were fine. “I’d rather have Daryl come back to me feeling like shit and resting than to me feeling like shit and trying to help get things done.”

“I can’t argue with that.” She laughed. 

Carol was about the only other person in the group that Daryl dropped any of his walls around. With Rick, it was all business. There was respect there, but not yet friendship. You could see it though, the subtle changes in your hunter. He was getting comfortable around these people. It was a snail’s pace but if they were anything like you hoped they were, he would be granted their patience. God knew, he had earned it. 

“Come on.” Carol urged. “Let’s get you settled.” 

With each step, you whined, feeling less and less like the woman you had been only months before, like she had been left behind somewhere, starved or trampled by a herd. “I hate this. Is it wrong to hate this?” You grimaced at Carol who only chuckled breathily, her hand resting on your cheek.

“It’s not wrong. This is a lot. Our bodies do a lot.” A couple of soft pats and then she bent down to straighten the bedroll and arrange the blankets. 

You were watching, actually finding yourself excited to be off your feet and deciding that a nap wouldn’t be so horrible when there was a strange feeling low in your belly. It started as a gradual tightening but soon turned into an unyielding cramp, your stomach hard beneath your hands as you grabbed for your sweater. You gasped Carol’s name, could hear her clearly calling for Hershel but you couldn’t seem to respond, swallowed up by every fear that had been looming like a dark shadow for the past few weeks. The pain wasn’t even horrible, not like you had imagined at all. But it was terrifying. The only thing you could think of to do was hold the area that housed your little Thumper and whimper out Daryl’s name.

A bed had been cleared, dusted, and made for you in the downstairs room. As you laid there, resting, and stared at the half empty cup of water on the bedside table, you overheard Beth and Carl animatedly re-telling how two walkers had shuffled by the driveway gate. The children had hid and remained quiet, reporting that no others were seen once those two had moved on. You weren’t naive enough to hope that it didn’t mean more were coming. The group would need to pack up and head out likely within the next day or so. 

“Braxton Hicks.” Hershel had stated matter-of-factly. He had expressed that he was actually surprised you hadn’t experienced them before then, added that maybe you had but they were so mild that you just didn’t notice. You had two more instances over the course of three hours but nothing since then, though your body seemed to be in a constant state of dread, waiting for another to happen; for it to be more than what Hershel had said. You were waiting for something to be wrong.

Beyond the dusty, tattered green curtains, you could see the light fading. Daryl would be back soon. Would he blame you for bringing this on by doing a little work? Would he be angry? He’d be beside himself with worry, that much was a given. Hershel had said you could do small chores, that it was good for you to be moving, but what if Daryl didn’t see it that way? The morning had started so perfectly. The conversation had been left unfinished but it didn’t seem to have been heading anywhere bleak. 

“Ugh.” You didn’t know what was more exhausting, your body or your brain. Each time you closed your eyes, your mind ran rampant with each and every wildly negative scenario it could possibly conjure. You groaned and rolled to your other side despite the effort and apprehensiveness of even moving. Letting your eyes close yet again, you fought against the intrusive thoughts, forcing images of what Thumper might look like instead. A little girl with Daryl’s eyes and your smile. A little boy with unruly light hair like Daryl’s had been, a constant scowl. You laughed softly, wetly, shedding a few tears around your smile. No matter the sex of the baby, you hoped for Daryl’s eyes. They were the one thing to always gave him away, no matter what expression he wore. With a baby that couldn’t communicate needs and wants, you would at least have that in your corner.

At some point, you must have dozed off, opening your eyes to the sound of the old truck Daryl was driving. Looking to the window, you could see the faint light of dusk giving way to the moon. He’d kept his promise, albeit barely. You didn’t care as long as he was back. Shifting and struggling, you finally made it upright just as you heard Glenn’s all too cheerful voice, though you couldn’t make out the words. Rick’s few words trailed right after. Then there was Daryl. He spoke but then there was nothing more than hushed tones. Hershel offering the day's events, most likely. A thud was followed by echoing stomps of boots pounding against the hardwood floors.

“Where is she?” Daryl roared, closer to the door.

“She’s fine, son. She’s resting. This is normal. It just caused a bit of a fright. She just—”

“Where. Is. She?!”

The old man must have nodded or pointed because the next thing you knew, the door was swinging open with Daryl’s silhouette backdropped by the soft candlelight in the other room. His shoulders were heaving in what sounded so close to sobs that you squinted your eyes for a chance to catch his expression before he moved, startling you with how quickly he had one knee on the bed and was leaning in to check you over himself. He was filthy, mostly dirt and grime, but spots of walker blood and a cut across his cheek that was no longer bleeding. 

“What happened?” You asked, reaching for his face but letting your hand hover in fear of hurting him.

“Don’t matter. Ya alright? Baby okay?” He was breathless, either from his haste to get to you or maybe just with worry. He was touching you without hesitance, his hands in a mad rush to feel your face, neck, your belly. You watched his eyes go wide and knew exactly what it meant. “Why’s it look diff’rent?” 

“Thumper dropped.” His eyes were dancing back and forth as he flipped through his mental catalog of reading material and Hershel’s words. Relief was evident in his posture when he recalled what he had been searching for, but he was still tense.

“Hershel said ya was crampin’. The fake shit. Does it hurt now?” You shook your head and watched him finally sink onto his hip beside you, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Shouldn’a gone. Ya didn’t need to be alone through that.” 

“Hey.” You leaned as far as you could, to guide his hand away with one hand while the other used his chin to turn his face toward you. “I wasn’t alone and we’re okay. It’s just my body getting ready.” Daryl’s head tilted, his expression displaying his gratitude for your attempts at consolation but also heavy laden with guilt for leaving you there. “Daryl, you had to go.”

“Didn’t hafta do nothin’. Could’a stayed right here where ya need me to be.” 

He hadn’t asked what you had been doing. Maybe it wasn’t that important to him after all. He seemed to be more concerned with what happened and how you currently felt than anything. You truly needed to start trusting him as you wanted so badly for him to trust you. Your palm left his face and wrapped around the back of his neck, not needing much pressure to pull him to you for your lips to press against his. It was gentle and chaste, his hand leaving your belly to cup your jaw.

“We’re okay and you’re here now.” You soothed, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Just—no more runs until Thumper’s here, okay?”

“No more runs.” He agreed, his eyes closed, forehead against yours. “Ain’t leavin’ ya again.” His hand lowered back to your belly, rubbing back and forth. It was always the most tender thing you’d ever seen from him. You didn’t think him the type but he actually seemed to be calmed by the action. “D’ya need anythin’?”

“Just you.” You let him help you lie back, but he didn’t follow. 

“Need to clean up. I’ll be quick.” He made to stand up but you grabbed his forearm and pulled yourself up again, not stopping once you got there. He gave in to your incessant tugging and wrapped his arms around you. “You’re gonna need to change too now.” You sniffled, trying hard not to cry, but you were just so overwhelmed with relief that he was back in one piece, that nothing bad had truly happened, that he was going to stay. “Don’t cry, woman. M’here.”

“I know. I’m just—I’m happy. I have you and Thumper. And—I don’t deserve you, Daryl Dixon.”

Daryl scoffed, rubbing his cheek against the crown of your head. “Ya deserve way better than me, Sunshine.” He took a deep breath that actually shifted you against his chest and then he was tightening his embrace. “But I love ya. An’ m’here unless ya tell me to get lost.” He pulled away before you could say anything, heading quickly for the door with one last look before he walked out. You were stunned frozen, silent. 

He said it.

He said it and you could feel that he meant it. His actions had always conveyed it, but hearing it from his mouth was everything. 

Thumper rolled and kicked before going still, reacting to all the emotions you were feeding to them through your bond. When you laid down again, it wasn’t hard to fall asleep. No wicked images formed behind your eyes. Just those words replaying in your head, a baby’s tiny hand gripping a large finger. A child’s giggle. And then his voice again.

Your eyes didn’t want to obey when you bid them to open, the mattress dipping beside you, the sheets moving. A warm arm pulled you against an even warmer body, enveloping you in a veil of safety.

Everything would be okay.

Because you loved Daryl.

And Daryl loved you.

[andrewminyardslawyer]

Okay here's a companion piece to my "Jeremy Knox What The Hell Is Up With Your Family Evidence". I wanted to have a bullet point list so it was easier to keep track of everything. I am aware that this is probably excessive lol again if I missed anything feel free to let me know! I tried to keep all of my personal theories out of it and just present the facts but I included a couple explanations 

Jeremy Knox What The Hell Is Up With Your Family The Bullet Point List Edition 

Home

- "The trick to starting Saturdays off in the right foot was to get out of the house as early as possible. He'd realize years ago that he'd never be the first one awake"

- is on very good terms with the butler, William Hunter. William has coffee ready for him when he leaves in the morning, and texts him that his older brother and stepfather are in the sitting room when Jeremy gets home so he can avoid them and opens the front door for him

- is required to stay at the house during the weekday while school is in session. He is allowed to go to Cat and Laila's house on the weekends and over summer break. "Jean didn't miss away Jeremy's gaze slid past him to peer into the distance, or the tight tug at the corner of Cat's mouth. Jeremy was still smiling but the light had gone out in it" when talking about his living situation

Step Family / Mother 

- step grandfather is a congressman 

- "he'd wasted years arguing against such events, as he had absolutely no relation to his stepsfather's father, but his mother refused to budge. If a Congress man needed a picture perfect family for photo ops, the Knox family was duty bound to dress up and smile bright for the exhausting number of cameras"

- His stepfather's last name is Wilshire 

- is stated that he is permanently on his stepfather's bad side 

- told Jean not to call him by his last name, Knox 

- says that he will maybe do frosted tips next year after he's graduated and doesn't have to deal with the fallout and was kicked out of family dinner because of his bleached hair

- Jeremy says " 'I've never been to Europe. Dad's been stationed there a couple times, but....' " The wording makes me feel like his biological father is still alive but they aren't in touch 

- Jeremy's mother picked his therapist

Siblings 

- does not get along with his older brother, Bryson

- Jeremy left the house without his keys in order to avoid a confrontation with Bryson.

Later on he states that he "idly wished he'd been brave enough to get his keys"

- Bryson lives at home during the summer and goes to college on the East Coast

- does not get along with his sister, Annalise

- Annalise "insisted on keeping her own place on the other side of the city year round"

- in the one scene with Annalise she is very hostile to Jeremy:

•"more drama...".   •"Overdue for a new scandal, hm?' she asked. 'End the way you started.' He didn't flinch but it was a near thing. Once upon a time she had gone to all of his high school games, but once upon a time was before the fall banquet that broke their family in half she's gone out of her way to forget everything she knew about Exy since then, and she'd never forgiven him for sticking with it. He'd walk through a hundred hypothetical arguments with his therapist in preparation for the day he finally fought back, but every time the chance came, he watched it slip past and miserable silence." • " sent him an arch look. 'What’s Grandpa think of this investment of yours?' It was obvious bait, but that couldn’t keep the edge out of Jeremy’s fierce, 'He is not our grandfather.' 'Careful,' Annalise warned him as she rummaged for her keys. 'You already destroyed the family. Don’t destroy my future, too. Door.' "

- asks Lucas if he feels safe with his brother and when Lucas says he's my brother Jeremy says that's not what I asked 

- Cat hesitates when telling Jean how many siblings Jeremy has. She says there are three, one sister and two brothers. The older brother is an absolute tool and she nervously pushes her fries around her plate after speaking

- The second brother is never mentioned and seems to have a big part in The Incident. Potentially also played Exy. Is unknown if he is fully related, half sibling, or step sibling. Most likely younger than Jeremy

Money 

- Jeremy keeps meticulous track of his receipts and how he spends his money. There are three different times it is pointed out that he keeps the receipt and puts it in his wallet

- "It was always best to have a paper trail when dealing with his mother's bookkeeper"

- gives Cat the remaining money in his wallet to help with groceries and rent even though "Cat was more concerned with how many hoops it took him to pull it together when he was permanently on his stepfather's bad side"

Miscellaneous 

- Jeremy avoids the cops sitting at the park. Says there was little to no chance he'd know them, and no reason they'd recognize him, but Jeremy kept his gaze forward and his mouth shut until they were passed

- Rhemann says he will call the cops on Grayson if Jean wants him to and that he will "send Jeremy away first". Could be because Jean said that he did not want Jeremy in the room while Rhemann was cleaning his injuries and he figured Jean wouldn't want Jeremy there when he was talking to the police or it could have to do with Jeremy hiding his face from the cops at the park

- has specific fun ringtones for everybody except his family. Becomes very tense whenever they contact him

- automatically calls Wayne's suicide an accident and then "grimaced like it wasn't at all the word he wanted to use" perhaps whatever happened, his family calls The Incident an accident instead of what actually happened 

- responds with " 'that isn't a joke,' Jeremy said, with an unexpected ferocity' " when Jean jokes about suicide

- Cat says no judgment when it comes to therapy and the right therapist can be life-changing and to look at Jeremy for proof. Insinuating that The Incident was fairly traumatic

[dystopicjumpsuit]

The Plant Prowler of Pabu

A/N: I’m scared that Pabu is going to be toast after this week, so I wrote a little fluff to make myself feel better. Also, this is the first time I’ve been able to finish a fic in six weeks, so… yay me!

Pairing: Crosshair x Reader (GN)

Rating: T (but MDNI as always)

Wordcount: 2.1K

Warnings and tags: mild language; fluff; a kiss; spoilers for The Bad Batch season 3

Summary: Exploring the island during his first morning on Pabu, Crosshair encounters a mastermind of botanical crime: you.

Suggested Listening: 

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Whoever said, “It’s darkest just before dawn” had clearly never woken up to go for a walk before sunrise. Even if Crosshair hadn’t had enhanced vision, it would have been easy for him to navigate his way down to the beach of Pabu in the dim half-light. Hunter had wordlessly watched him exit the Marauder, pretending to still be asleep, but Crosshair knew that his brother would have drawn his vibroblade in a flash if he’d even glanced sideways at Omega.

Crosshair didn’t exactly blame Hunter for his caution, but it didn’t make it any easier to swallow. The squad had arrived on the idyllic island the previous day, and Crosshair was immediately swarmed by a horde of curious locals. With Hunter determined to keep Crosshair in sight at all times, there had been no escape from their onslaught of hospitality, and by the time the celebrations had died down, Crosshair had been clinging to the tattered threads of his patience and sanity.

It was a hell of a thing to go from barely speaking to anyone for months on end to suddenly being plunged into the midst of a vibrant and chaotic crowd of nosy spectators. He’d escaped to the Marauder at last and pretended to sleep, keenly aware of Hunter’s eyes on him. He’d spent enough time under the microscope in the past several months, though, and he was ready for some privacy.

And so it was that he found himself wandering down the empty terraced walkways of Pabu, making his way to the shoreline in the pale gloaming. He didn’t encounter a single soul as he walked—barring the ubiquitous moonyos that seemed to frolic across the island at all hours. Pabu was the sort of place that seemed too flawless to be real. Too flawless to last.

Not quite as flawless as it seems on the surface, he acknowledged as he turned down a path that snaked through one of the sections of the island that had yet to be rebuilt after the catastrophic sea surge he’d heard about countless times at the welcoming party the previous night. The buildings had been reduced to rubble, and judging by the weeds sprouting in the cracks of the walkway, the locals tended to avoid this particular part of the island.

Perfect.

The gentle breeze off the ocean was chilly, and he told himself it was the reason his hand trembled more than usual that morning. He shoved both hands deep into his pockets as he navigated the last few levels before he reached the beach. As he stepped onto the sand, a gust of wind buffeted against him. It was bracingly cold, and it smelled like salt and aquatic vegetation and wet earth, and he closed his eyes for a moment, breathing deeply and focusing on the sensation.

When he opened his eyes, a flicker of movement in his peripheral vision had him snapping his head to the side. He froze. A figure meandered slowly down the beach, sticking close to the bottom of the hill where the lush foliage grew thickly right up to the edge of the sand. He was certain you had spotted him, but you didn’t immediately acknowledge his presence.

He watched for a moment as you paused and stooped down to examine one of the plants, then carefully plucked a few bunches and laid them in the basket you carried. Bizarre. What the kriff was this person doing out here so early? Nothing innocent, that was for damned sure. Why would anyone sneak down to such an isolated stretch of the beach at this obscene hour if they didn’t have nefarious intent?

Aside from me, obviously.

He squinted slightly. Even with his enhanced eyesight, it was dark enough, and you were far enough away, that it was difficult to make out your features, but he was reasonably sure you hadn’t been at the party the night before. 

Hmph.

He turned and walked the opposite direction, away from the person who’d had the audacity to interrupt his solitude by getting to the beach first. Better not to get involved.

Crosshair took a different route the next morning, arriving at the beach just as the sun rose. As bad kriffing luck would have it, you were exiting the beach just as he arrived, and your paths inevitably intersected. He braced himself for a conversation, but you simply met his eyes and nodded quietly as you passed him.

He suppressed a sigh of relief. Stepping aside to make room for you to pass on the narrow trail, he couldn’t help noticing that your basket was filled with a variety of neat bundles of leaves and twigs. Odd, but your hobbies were none of his concern. Even if they did involve herb rustling and grand theft shrubbery.

He continued his path down to the shoreline and wandered along the water’s edge, staring out at the horizon. Out of the corner of his eye, he could still see your solitary figure making its way up the steep slope and into Lower Pabu. He was now completely sure that you’d not been at the welcoming party, nor had he encountered you in the village. It wasn’t that surprising; after all, hundreds of people lived on the island, and he wasn’t in any particular hurry to meet them all—or any of them, if he were honest.

Of course, he didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. Wrecker had flatly refused to allow Crosshair to isolate himself, while the gregarious mayor Shep Hazard seemed equally dedicated to the twin causes of thrusting Crosshair into the community and plying him with as much fruit as he could eat in a lifetime. He was starting to feel a tiny surge of violence every time he saw a jogan fruit.

On the third day, Batcher woke up with Crosshair and scrambled out of the Marauder, bounding ahead of him down the ramp and then turning to wiggle her entire body in anticipation as he followed. He let the lurca hound pick the path that morning, not bothering to hide his thin smile at Batcher’s endless curiosity and enthusiasm. She crisscrossed the walkways incessantly, sniffing and exploring, chasing the moonyos playfully down the hill, investigating every nook and cranny of the village, and easily running five times the distance that Crosshair traveled on their way down to the water.

The beach was empty this morning, to Crosshair’s relief. At last, some peace and quiet. Or at least as quiet and peaceful as it could be with Batcher rocketing back and forth across the wet sand, grunting and huffing as she charged into the surf and back up to Crosshair, crouching into a bow as she tried to entice him to play with her. When he didn’t immediately comply, she took off chasing a flock of seabirds, scattering them into the air in a cacophony of indignant squawking.

She chased the birds down the beach, barking joyously as she splashed through the surf. When the hound disappeared around a bend in the shoreline, Crosshair sped up slightly, not wanting to risk Omega’s wrath if anything happened to her pet on his watch. As he rounded the bend, he was greeted with a most unexpected sight: Batcher was lying on her back on the sand, writhing with delight as you rubbed her belly.

Your basket was overturned, and all the neat little bundles of herbs were strewn across the sand. It wasn’t hard to deduce the instigator of such carnage. Batcher spotted Crosshair and immediately jumped up and shook the sand off herself before rushing to greet him.

“Down,” he said sternly as she jumped up and swiped at him with her massive paws.

She dropped obediently, and trotted along next to him as he approached you. You’d already begun picking up your fallen bundles of leaves, and he quickly bent to assist you.

“Sorry about that,” he mumbled.

“No harm done,” you replied, shaking a bit of loose sand out of the bundles before you dropped them into your basket. “They all get washed before I hang them up to dry anyway.”

“So you’re not just engaging in botanical heists for the adrenaline rush?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah, it really gets the blood pumping,” you replied, deadpan. “My day just doesn’t feel complete without a little horticultural larceny.”

“I can see you like to live on the edge,” he said with a tiny smile. “The Plant Prowler of Pabu.”

“And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for a mysterious stranger and his meddling dog.”

He liked you. Damn it.

Crosshair didn’t see you for the next several days. He assumed you’d moved your criminal enterprise elsewhere on the island, and after the team returned from Barton IV, he didn’t feel the same need to escape the Marauder as he had previously. Still, he wasn’t sleeping particularly well, and after an excruciatingly restless night, he slipped out of the ship not long before dawn and wandered aimlessly down the streets of Pabu until he found himself in the unstable section he’d discovered on the first day.

As he picked his way through the ruins, he spotted movement two terraces below, and he grinned. Forcing himself to walk casually so you didn’t suspect how pleased he was to see you, he sauntered down to your level, only to find you ripping weeds up from between the fragments of pavement with uncharacteristic abandon.

“What did those plants ever do to you?” he asked.

You must have spotted him before he arrived, because you didn’t even flinch at the sound of his voice.

“Invasive species,” you replied. “I try not to over-forage, but in this case, I’ll make an exception.”

“And I thought your crimes only extended to vegetational theft,” he drawled. “I had no idea you’d escalated to floral murder and agricultural vigilantism.”

“The hero Pabu needs,” you said with a smile that had no business being as charming as it was, considering you were currently covered in a fine layer of dirt and assorted bits of leaves and twigs. “If this plant gets established on the island, we might never be able to eradicate it. It will outcompete the native plants and could cause significant disruptions to the ecosystem.”

“How altruistic of you,” he remarked drily.

“Not at all,” you laughed. “It also happens to be delicious.”

Crosshair stooped down and pulled one of the plants up by the roots, examining it closely. “It’s on sight, then.”

“Exactly. No mercy.”

As the first rays of the sun appeared on the distant horizon, you packed the large bundles of weeds into your basket, then stood and dusted your hands off on your trousers. You stretched a bit, clearly a little stiff from your labor. Impulsively, Crosshair spoke.

“Want to watch the sunrise with me?” You looked surprised at his offer, and he cleared his throat, looking awkwardly away. “Or do you turn into a meiloorun if you stay out past dawn?”

“Yes,” you said. “I mean, no. I mean, yes, I’d like to stay. No, I don’t turn into a meiloorun.”

You bit your lip and stared down at the bundle of weeds in your basket, poking at it ineffectually as you muttered something unintelligible under your breath. Stifling a laugh, Crosshair climbed up onto the crumbling half-wall of a destroyed structure and extended his hand to help you up after him. You scrambled up and sat down next to him, gazing out at the tranquil ocean as the sun began to paint the high clouds in brilliant shades of gold and pastel.

“Not a bad view, is it?” you asked quietly. 

“Definitely worth waking up early,” he replied, watching your face as the light caught on your cheekbones and reflected in your eyes.

Without making a conscious decision, he lifted his hand and brushed a little loose dirt off your cheek. His damned hand trembled, and he mentally cursed. You didn’t seem to notice the slight tremor, though—or if you did, you didn’t say anything about it. Instead, you turned your head slowly, grazing your lips across his fingertips as you met his eyes. It seemed the most natural thing in the galaxy to continue to trace the line of your jaw until his hand curled around the back of your head.

Your lips were soft and warm in the cool breeze, and you tasted like sea salt and dew and something he didn’t quite recognize. Something new. He liked it. You leaned into his kiss, and when at last it came to its natural conclusion, he drew in a shaky breath.

“Hi,” he whispered. “I’m Crosshair.”

---

Want more Crosshair? I have another Crosshair x Reader ficlet here!

Taglist:

@secondaryrealm @sev-on-kamino spicy-clones @523rdrebel @wings-and-beskar @merkitty49 @anxiouspineapple99 @sinfulsalutations @arcsimper5 @starrylothcat @clio3kantarella @cloneloverrrrr @goblininawig @ladytano420 @arctrooper69 @sunshinesdaydream @littlemissmanga @stunkbiggu @starqueensthings @marierg @idontgetanysleep @moonlightwarriorqueen @dudewhynotthis @sleepycreativewriter @tcwmatchmakingau @littlemissbshine @multi-fan-dom-madness @heavenseed76 @wizardofrozz @bobaprint @sweetcream-coldfoam @banksys-rat @skellymom @pickleprickle @trixie2023 @mythical-illustrator @dickarchivist @cw80831 @kimiheartblade @meredithroseg @flyiingsly @lightwise @swcowgal @reader6898 @cdblake1565 @epicy0n @starstofillmydream @msmeredithrose @totallyunidentified @eclec-tech @euphoriacafe @hipwell

[dysfunctional-doodle]

TMNT FIC RECS

I got someone asking to recommend some angst TMNT fics so I decided to make a list of my own! I’ll recommend some of my favourite fics then a few of mine for those that haven’t read them :)

NOTE - I’m such a Mikey fan that almost all of these are Mikey-centric angst, my bad. Still very very good. Top tier shit:

Ok so I’m going to cut this because this list is massive, please keep reading!!

NOT MY FICS:

Feed Me Poison ‘Til I Drown (TMNT 2007, All Media Types)

Summary: Mikey’s tired of not being taken seriously by his brothers. Karai is very persuasive. As such, Mikey joins the Foot clan…mere months after Leo is sent away for training.

Notes: This is wonderfully written. A what if based on a cancelled TMNT 2 sequel where Mikey joins The Foot due to him feeling unappreciated and a burden. I personally love a unreliable narrator, and this captures that perfectly - you don’t know whether Mikey is being manipulated, or whether his actions (and how antagonistic they get) are of his own free will and not brainwashing. Chefs kiss. (Ao3)

All works by Justalittleobsessed.

All of them are perfect angst ranging from mild injury to absolute gut wrenching angst. Please check all of them out, they are some of my favourites for sure. (Ao3)

Radio Silence (All Media Types)

Summary: Mikey isn’t answering his shell cell, which isn’t like him, prompting his brothers to go look for him; Mikey has no idea what’s going on, but the rain is making nice sounds and moving hurts and there are noises coming from his shell cell that he should probably pay attention to.

Notes: Less angst and more hurt in this one, but still brilliant on capturing exactly how it feels to wake up from a serious injury, alone and confused. Perfectly describes shock and has a decent dosage of comfort after. (Ao3)

Missing Comedic Relief (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: Michelangelo is the light of the family, he's always cracking jokes no matter what situation they're in. His family doesn't realize it, but his jokes help keep up the team moral. They always break the tension and make it easier to do what they need to do. So when Mikey isn't part of a mission, his family can't help but notice how empty their team felt. To make matters worse, the reason Mikey isn't part of their mission was because he was missing.

Notes: I love this one because the amount of emotional angst from the brothers not knowing where Mikey is and missing what he means to each of them is just amazingly written. The brothers don’t know where Mikey is but know he’s hurt and in trouble, and it largely follows their point of view as they search everywhere for him. Mikey himself suffers quite a bit too (cage fighting against a bunch of Purple Dragons, not fun) and it ends with comfort! Huzzah! (Ao3)

The T Subjects (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Mikey and Don face their worst fears when they're separated from their brothers by ruthless scientists.

Notes: If you want angst, this is the place to go, seriously. Explores the terrifying reality of what would happen when any of the turtles get captured by scientists who want nothing more than to study them. It’s heartbreaking reading about how Donnie is trying to keep it together for Mikey, but ultimately fails when he is separated from his youngest brother. And Mikey - god, he goes through it too much. His childlike faith in Donnie and genuine fear is written so well.

I will note that this is private, so you can only read it if you have an ao3 account.

I’ve Been Afraid of Changing (TMNT 2007, though can be read as general)

Summary: “You can’t make me go,” Mikey blurts, too loud. “I won’t. I don’t want to.”

“Jesus,” Donnie mutters, rubbing his forehead. He’s already so fed-up with Mikey after like three seconds of conversation that Mikey can feel his eyes start to sting. “The last thing I want to do is fight with you, Mike. I thought you liked Cowabunga Carl.”

It’s not fair. Donnie’s so smart. He’s tired and overworked and unhappy, but he’s smart. How can he get this one thing so wrong? How can he not know Mikey as well as he used to, like all of those years of being each other’s best friends and co-conspirators and secret-keepers from where they were relegated to the “B Team” aren’t as intrinsic and important and fundamental to him as they are to Mikey? How can he look at Mikey, right in the face, and not understand him at all? Something breaks.

Notes: a kind of AU of the TMNT 2007 movie where Mikey develops depression/has a mental breakdown due to how the other brothers have drifted apart. His birthday is forgotten, Donnie and Raph keep fighting, he hates his job - and he can’t take it anymore. It’s horrible reading Mikey’s breakdown, but it ends on a much happier note! If you want emotional angst this is FULL of it. (Ao3)

Nothing is Ever Simple (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: When breaking up an arms' deal goes bad, Mikey is taken and Raphael is on the trail of his brother's kidnappers. You don't mess with family.

Notes: Mikey gets kidnapped and Raph is left following a small trail to find him. This fic is one of my favourites because of the way it focuses a lot on Raph and his own personal demons, and how much Mikey means to him. Also, Mikey gets tortured in a twisted way, and seeing him never give in is always a plus in the old angst book. Overall, though it seems it’s about Mikey it’s mostly about Raph. His own reflections, fears and loyalties to family. (Ao3)

Never Really Over (ROTTMNT)

What appears to be another routine Purple Dragons bust takes a devastating turn when one of the brothers gets infected with leftover krang sludge. Or; kraangified Mikey

Notes: what can I say about this one apart from Mikey gets kraangified. It’s peak angst, I promise. Absolutely amazing, read it. (Ao3)

That’s where the blood is supposed to be! (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Sometimes, you just get hit a little too hard (aka: mikey blames everything on low blood sugar for ~4K words)

Notes: Mikey is seriously injured but doesn’t tell anyone due to the high tensions between Raph and Leo. Come on - physical and emotional angst? Sign me up! Very good and accurate descriptions of injury and gore, and the build up of this one is just perfect. You know something is horribly wrong, and it’s torture. Poor Mikey. (Ao3)

A Change In Outbreak (TMNT 2003)

Summary: Shredder showed us that there are there infinite number of realities, thousands of dimension and each of them differ from the last when it came to the turtle brothers. This one is no different then the one we've known our Turtles to be part of, however there is one little detail, one small thing that's different. Instead of Donnie getting mutated, it's Mikey.

Notes: long time fans probably all know about this fanfic, it’s a classic! Based on the original idea that Mikey would be double mutated in the Good Genes arc rather than Donnie, it retells the events if Mikey had indeed been infected. It keeps it fresh by adding new elements and plot points, as well as a lot of angst surrounding the brothers after seeing their youngest and heart be reduced to a monster. Plenty of emotional and physical angst all round, it’s perfect. (Ao3)

Heated Arguments Don’t Warm a Frozen Family (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: “He’s gotta be around here somewhere, I just kno-“ he suddenly tripped over an object buried in the snow.

“GaH!” Leo shuddered, pulling himself up quickly and brushing off the cold substance.

“Leo???”

Looking back to see what it was that caused his fall, his heart nearly launched into his throat. “Oh no.”

“Leo, what’s wrong?!” Raph’s voice echoed again from the phone.

Leo got onto his knees, ignoring the cold snow that he initially was avoiding. He anxiously brushed away a few inches of loose fluffy snow to see the familiar pattern of a shell. “Shit-“ He muttered under his breath “Get Donnie and come to my location now!”

“What’s going on?! We’re on our way now!” Raph sounded like he was already running.

“I found Mikey.” Leo’s voice cracked as he hung up the phone before Raphael could respond.

Notes: one of the first fics I read on this fandom and still one of my favourites. Lots of emotional and physical, Mikey centric angst in this one! (Ao3)

Everything by BrightLotusMoon

Seriously, they got me into this fandom from a casual watcher to artist and fanfic writer! Full of Mikey angst, and creator of the Empath! Mikey head cannon that lives rent free in my head and has inspired many of my own material! Read them all, they’re all bangers.

Revenge Always Tastes Sweet (But the Aftertaste is Bitter (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Actions have consequences and they come back with a vengeance when it's least expected. A trip to the Hidden City gives one of the brothers a taste of just how deadly making enemies with a yokai can be.

Notes: What, not Mikey angst?? Not this time - Donnie gets the full angst attack when he gets poisoned from an unknown enemy. Lots of well described hurt, end it has a happy ending! (Ao3)

Hyperactive Hyperthermia (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Snow day ruined for the second year in a row! They had expected a break, but they really couldn't ever catch one. How could they have known mystic fire was so uncontrollable?Maybe standing on the ice lake was the first bad idea.

---

OR: The brothers go out for a snow day, but it quickly goes south after multiple avalanches and other shenanigans leaves Mikey without any winter clothing and trapped with Donnie under the snow.

Notes: this one…this one is heartbreaking, honestly. You have to read about Donnie being trapped with a freezing Mikey, and he knows this but is helpless to do anything but watch it happen. The emotional angst in this kicks you deep in the gut, it’s terrible I love it. (ao3)

Nowhere Boy (TMNT 2003, can be read as general)

Summary: He was twelve years old, and he realized that his dreams were always the same. Every single one. "We need you. We'll find you," those indistinct figures would say, their eyes glinting in the darkness, shadows stretching out to him like hands. But he always woke up before they reached him.

Notes: I LOVE this one. It has lived with me ever since I read it, something about it is so heartbreaking. It explores the feeling of being lost despite not knowing why, and how much you miss someone despite never knowing them. It actually inspired a fic of my own, which I will link in my own fics list. I don’t want to spoil it, but please read it. Mikey centric angst heaven (ao3)

Unfamiliar Familiar (ROTTMNT/TMNT 2012 Crossover)

Summary: What the hell is Michelangelo supposed to do? Having woken up in a strange world with new brothers? Why is everyone here so nice? Why won’t they let him leave? The Rise brothers stumble upon a traumatized Mikey, and when they learn the reason behind all that trauma, there is no way they’ll let him experience that again.

TLDR: Rise brothers adopt 2012 Mikey

Notes: I am a sucker for slight 2012 bashing and this one fulfils it without being overly mean. 2012 Mikey has been traumatised by his brothers and his enemies, and finally gets the chance to heal and start again when he is thrown into the rise universe. Very popular fic, I highly suggest you read it despite it not being complete. So much emotional angst I swear. (Ao3)

Going under (ROTTMNT)

Summary: “Have a pleasant swim, little turtle!” they snicker.

Mikey’s eyes widen.

“NO!”

Then, he feels weightless.

He’s falling.

And falling.

And then —

His body hits the water with a loud splash and his vision flashes white.

Notes: Mikey almost drowns. Peak angst. (Ao3)

Sunshine in the Rain (ROTTMNT)

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Michelangelo is taken by a government scientist named Bishop, how will he respond to this new environment, and more importantly, will his brothers be able to save him before he breaks? Let the game begin.

Notes: Mikey sacrificing himself to save his brothers from Bishop? Yes please, and thank you author. Seriously, this has it all - introducing Bishop in the rise universe, and Leatherhead! Of course, lots of angst in the form of experimentation. But that’s what we’re here for, right? (Ao3)

Quicksand (All Media Types)

Summary: Trapped in darkness, no one can hear you, no one can see you, no one knows where you are. The cold lingers, the fear rises, who will help us? Who even knows we are down here? The only people who might know are probably dead. Help us, someone please help…

Notes: Mikey and Donnie get trapped in a collapsing lair when earthquakes year apart their home. Leo and Raph are the only ones that can get to them, but the snow storm is stopping them. This is so brutal in the way NO ONE gets a break, the angst just keeps coming. Everyone gets it. I love it. Read it (fanfiction.net)

Ghosts of New York Past (TMNT 2003)

Summary: The turtles and Splinter have been transported 100 years into the future through Cody Jones' time window. Future New York is a lot to take in. But when the dust settles and the sun goes down, the big unanswered question is still there: how are they supposed to fit into a time that doesn't belong to them?

Notes: light angst, exploring the more emotional and wise side of Mikey that we don’t see often in the show. (Fanfiction.net)

Questioning Choices (TMNT 2003, All Media Types)

Summary: A fun family trip to the beach turns ugly when Michelangelo is injured and his brothers have to make difficult decisions that go against their morals in order to save him.

Notes: I don’t know why but I love this one too much. Mike’s slowly getting worked whilst the brothers have to go against their morals and steal from an ambulance? Perfection. (fanfiction.net)

Suffered to Slumber (All Media Types)

Summary: "Breathe quick, breathe slow, put the gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Any way you like, you're gonna die down here."

Notes: this one is also BRUTAL. Mikey getting buried alive? It’s all the angst you think and somehow more.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (TMNT 2003)

Summary: What was supposed to be a pleasant Christmas Eve with family and friends suddenly turns to one of terror and uncertainty for the turtles. Will they make it through this Christmas together? Or will one fall?

Notes: one of my favourites. Mikey can’t keep out of trouble on Christmas Eve, and ends up paying the price this time. (Fanfiction.net)

It’s Much More Complicated (All Media Types)

Summary: After a late night patrol, Mikey falls ill. At first it's nothing to worry about, but something that seemed to be harmless turns into a race of life and death.

Notes: we love our favourite character getting deadly sick

An Agonising Secret (All Media Types)

Summary: Mikey tries to hide an injury from his brothers, but soon discovers that it wasn't as harmless as he thought it was...

Notes: more hidden injury? Yes please. I highly suggest look at this authors other works as well, lots of angst

Underdark (TMNT 2003, can he read as general)

Summary: He's hanging upside down in the middle of the great underdark, weighed down by a half hysterical turtle in the middle of a bunch of pipes and water and rock that are conspiring to kill us both off, and Leo still manages to sound like he Has A Plan.

Notes: do I need to even introduce this classic? Everyone knows it, it’s amazing.

MY OWN FICS

Helpless (TMNT 2003):

Summary: “No one comes. No one swoops in at the last second, nor does he manage to break the cuffs at the perfect moment. Instead, there is a collective shriek from the beasts below him as they all lunge forward in a hungered wave, their curled claws scraping against his scales and hideous jaws dripping with froth and drool.

Heart racing, Michelangelo hisses at the rodents. However, his warning is ignored by their destructive hunger. The hiss cuts off into a yelp when the first rat bites down on the exposed area between his skin and his shell, its grimy paws digging the pink flesh underneath away.”

What if, in the episode I, Monster, Mikey didn’t get out of the restraints in time? What if he was left, helpless against hoards of rats with no one to help?

TLDR: Mikey gets attacked by rats. It doesn’t end well. What can I say, I’m in a horror mood.

I’m Lost (But I Don’t Know Why) (TMNT 2003)

Summary: “He is mourning the loss of someone he never knew, doesn’t know, but it hurts all the same. He thinks back to the nunchucks, and the orange tape wrapped around them. The comic books hidden under the couch. The extra plate that he sets up everyday, has been for the past three weeks. The gap in their formation.

Missing, missing, missing, his mind chants, but he can’t know what. He’s lost, and can’t remember why.”

There have always been four of them - Donatello, Raphael, himself and his father. Or at least, that’s what Leonardo had thought. But something is missing. They are mourning the loss of another they have never even known. They are lost. But why?

TLDR: a curse makes everyone forget Michelangelo. Leonardo knows there’s something missing, but he doesn’t know why.

All I Ever Wanted (TMNT 2003)

Summary: Donatello vowed that the future he had seen would never occur. He wouldn’t let it. But he’s failed. He’s failed, because Mikey is bleeding out beneath him, his arm severed under a stormy sky. And no help is coming in time.

TLDR: Perhaps the future will not repeat itself, but it can rhyme. How Mikey, despite Donatello’s efforts, loses his arm in the cannon timeline.

Hunted (TMNT 2003, can be read as general)

Summary: What starts out as a late night adventure in the woods beside the farmhouse turns deadly when a group of hunters catch Mikey off guard. Alone and wounded, Mikey struggles to find his way to safety.

TLDR: Mikey is chased by a group of hunters with no way to contact his brothers.

The Shoebox (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Post “Snow Day”, Mikey tearing his coat has drastic consequences that result in him freezing and slipping into brumation.

TLDR: Box turtles, when hibernating, can have no detectable pulse or heartbeat. None of Mikey’s brothers are aware of this and believe that they have just watched their youngest brother die.

Don’t Wander Off (Stay Where You Are) (ROTTMNT)

Summary: Box turtles will keep walking in attempt to find their home if they ever get lost, even if they die doing it. Mikey shares that same instinct.

When he gets lost, he keeps walking. He finds home.

TLDR: Mikey centric angst where he keeps walking despite growing weaker.

Promise (ROTTMNT)

Summary: After the events of the movie, Mikey discovers that, with the increase in his mystic power, he gains the ability to see the future. However, every time he does, he forgets some of his present.

Year after year, a gift twists into a curse, crumbling the relationships between brothers and ultimately ending in a terrible price. But Mikey made a promise all those years ago, and intends to keep it.

TLDR: Mikey sees the future until he forgets everything of his present.

Vs The World (ROTTMNT)

Summary: The Kraang almost-invasion has been hard on the entire family. Michelangelo knows this, and knows he needs to be the one that keeps them all together, like stubborn orange glue.

But his brothers aren’t talking. They aren’t leaving their rooms, trapped in their own traumas. Mikey tries - so, so hard - but the silence is suffocating. He leaves the lair, only to find a stray cat left for dead. And suddenly, he isn’t alone anymore. But he is still breaking, slowly.

TLDR: Mikey find Klunk in the Rise universe whilst dealing with trauma and depression. I am bad at summaries, so give it a quick read if you want.

Wow, this is long. Happy reading @nat06cas, @brightlotusmoon and @sparklingsunkissedsoul and everyone else!

[little-pissbaby]

@amazingphil @danielhowell just making extra sure these words gently caress your eyeballs. there's also a special message for viewers at the end.

That sense of impending doom is TERRIFYING. There is no feeling quite like knowing your life is very possibly about to end. It makes whatever pain you were feeling at the time forgettable, all that's left is every alarm bell going off at once saying something is deeply and dangerously wrong.

I had a heart attack when I was 21. I talk about it all the time, it was the catalyst for having genetic testing done and revealing that I have a brand new genetic variant causing Long QT Syndrome type 11. All I remember from that day was the feeling deep in my chest that something was wrong, but I was in a hospital so I was going to be fine. I'm terrified of overexerting myself and having a second one.

I had a stroke when I was 24, it was a stupidly rare complication of my wisdom teeth extraction. I know it was the worst headache I'd ever had up to that point, but all I remember is staring at florescent lights and screaming that I needed a hospital.

I've had several anaphylactic reactions before, once where I stopped breathing completely. It took two doses of epi to get me restarted. All I can hope is that my brother wasn't too traumatized by basically watching me die.

I've faced death countless times and it does not get easier. My partner couldn't sleep if I coughed even a little, it took three years for him to be okay sleeping as long as I was awake if he want. Three years for him to stop lurching upright in bed at the slightest hint of a cough or whispered "help me".

My point is that both sides of this are immensely traumatic. Tell your people you love them, hold them a little tighter, a little longer, give the homies extra goodnight kisses. Anything to help keep the trauma at bay while you fulfill non-reschedulable obligations like, for instance, an entire world tour.

I wish I could lend an ear to listen and a voice to commiserate with. I wish I could provide a comprehensive list of banger jokes relating to medical trauma and the lives led by both those of us who are sickly and not meant for this world, and our partners who live in a constant state of Hospital Time™.

Enjoy that olympian blood, philly 💪use it to win an athletic Dan vs Phil 🥇

p.s. Phil, if no one has told you yet, you should definitely see a rheumatologist about the possibility of you having Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. I think Dan will have lots of fun reading articles about it and going "SEE? I TOLD YOU THAT'S WEIRD", which is exactly how my partner reacted to my LQTS and EDS diagnoses

p.p.s. to everyone who listened to Dan and Phil tell a genuinely terrifying story that nearly ended in tragedy, it's okay and very normal for that to make you anxious and afraid of your own upcoming tests and procedures. my inbox is always open if anyone needs to talk, whether it's about upcoming medical things and the fear they bring or it's about literally anything else because you just need a distraction. love you guys 💙💜

[dfortrafalgar]

I'm Losing You

Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem.

Warnings: Read chapter 1 for warnings. posting two chapters today just because chapter 11 was so short in comparison! Beware... chapter 13 is when things start to get heavy again </3

Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock

Chapter 12

[Prev] [Next]

While Law was busy with work, Shachi and Penguin had become more akin to doting brothers than friends during your post-op care… but today your apartment was bustling.  Penguin had taken the liberty of using your phone to invite Ikkaku, who brought Nami and Usopp in tow.  As you laid in your bed fighting off a mild headache, the sounds of chattering and cleaning in your apartment filled your closed off bedroom.  At one point, something heavy had clattered against your kitchen floor, followed by harsh shushes warning the perpetrator of keeping silent so you could catch up on sleep.  Not like that made a difference.

You checked your phone that was set charging on your bedside table.  1:00PM.  You were thirsty.

Standing, you grabbed your empty glass and began to pace out of your room and toward the kitchen.  Your recovery had been incredibly swift, and you had achieved a total of five days off from work with the help of the weekend.  Your incision site healed quickly with a barely-visible scar, and while you still had a bit of recovery left, you had begun to feel much more like yourself.  Helped in part by your official diagnosis: endometriosis.  Not that you were surprised by that, but it definitely felt good to have an actual answer to your troubles.  The few cysts that were found on your ovary were also benign, and your call with Dr. Robin to discuss your results left you feeling surprisingly refreshed.  Things felt like they were finally starting to look up.

You rounded the corner of your apartment and entered your living area, the smell of pine and lemon-scented floor cleaner invading your nostrils and making you grimace.  Your gaggle of friends were seated around the kitchen table, digging into more left-over chocolate chip cookies that, at this point, had to be beyond stale.  

“Hey, there’s the woman of the hour!” called Usopp.  “Sorry if we woke you up.”  He flashed a toothy grin as he popped a cookie into his mouth.

You smiled, meandering to the sink to refill your glass with fresh water.  “Nah, it’s all good!  Thank you guys for cleaning up and spending time with Bepo, I really appreciate it, you know.”

Nami leaned back in her chair, tossing her arm over the back of it to twist her torso and gaze at you.  “It’s no problem at all, it’s the least we could do!  You deserve all the rest you can get after everything that’s happened.”  Her friendly grin quickly morphed into one of mischievous intent.  “Though, if you wanted to Venmo me, I wouldn’t say no.”

“Nami!  The poor woman is struggling!” Ikkaku placed a firm slap to Nami’s shoulder, making the red-head wince.

You were laughing as you approached the table to sit with your friends, politely denying the stale cookies that were offered to you.  “No no, she’s right.  I’ll think of something I can do to repay all of you for all the help you’ve been to Law and I.  I don’t feel right not treating you guys back in the same way.”

Shachi stretched his arms above his head and cracked his knuckles, uttering a deep groan at the feeling of his shoulders extending.  “Give your future kid my name, and we’ll call it even.”

“No fair, I wanted my name passed down!” shouted Penguin.

You sputtered a laugh against the lip of your glass.  It still filled you with a bit of discomfort to discuss the topic of pregnancy so soon, but your friends’ lighthearted attitudes made your feelings a bit easier to cope with.  “Not to disappoint, but Law and I already have names picked out.  None of you were on the list.”

Two disappointed sighs came from your husband’s best friends, but Ikkaku excitedly leaned forward against the table with her head in her hands.  “What are the options?”

You circled one of your fingers around the rim of your glass.  “Law really wanted his family to be honored in some way, so right now our favorite choices are Cora, Rose or Rosa, and Lami.  He said he felt a little strange having our kid’s first name be his sister’s, so if we have a daughter her middle name will probably be Lami.”

Usopp sighed dreamily.  “He’s so sentimental, isn’t he?”

Ikkaku giggled.  “Never say that to his face, though, or he’ll–”

The front door cracked open.  From the corner of the room, Bepo picked his head up.

“Say ‘what’ to my face?”  Law entered his apartment with a grouchy expression, closing and locking the door before shrugging off his light jacket and placing his hat on a hook behind the door.

“Hi, honey!” you called, your eyes immediately lighting up at the sight of your husband.  “You’re home early!”

Law stretched his back and wobbled toward the kitchen, opening the fridge and grabbing an energy drink from the door.  “Well, I had a surgery this evening, but the patient ended up coding.”

Nami cocked her head.  “What does that mean?”

“He croaked,” replied Law, taking a sip and assuming a protective stance behind your chair.  “Can’t perform surgery on a dead guy.”

“Aw, that’s too bad…” Ikkaku chimed in, her excited posture manifesting into a more forlorn slouch.  “You must see that a lot, huh?”

Law shrugged.  “Not really, most of the time it’s elderly people who die before they get treatment.  It’s hard when you’re old.”

You reached a hand up behind you, placing it on your husband’s shoulder.  He took his free hand and wrapped it around your own.  “Well, I’m glad you got to come home early.  Everyone spent the entire day cleaning the house while I was in bed.”

“Is that why it smells like pine cleaner in here?” he asked, somewhat confused.

“Usopp spilled the bottle on the floor,” Nami piped up.

“It was an accident,” the curly-haired man replied with a perturbed hiss.

—

The plate of cookies was discarded, the kitchen was finished being cleaned, and your friends had all departed for the night, leaving you and Law cuddling alone on your couch as a brain-dead comedy rerun played on the television.  Bepo remained on his plush bed in the corner, his entire body upside down and snoring away peacefully.  You laid against Law’s chest as his lean hands ran up and down your sides, ghosting the skin beneath your cotton shirt with pleasant electric tickles that made you stifle a giggle occasionally.

“Hey, can we talk?” Law asked, eyes still trained on the television, but clearly not absorbing any of the half-assed jokes and canned laugh track.

“Yeah, of course,” you replied, shifting a little against his body to face him.  You reached over his head for the remote that was sitting on the arm of your couch, pressing the power button to turn off the television and envelope you and your husband in a calm silence.

Law smiled weakly, his golden eyes now trained on your own.  “Did you get a call back from your doctor?”

You nodded.  “I do have endometriosis, and the cysts on my ovaries are benign.  She actually said they were quite small and said if they started causing me more trouble, then they could be dealt with.”

Your husband ran his hand over the back of your head.  “And how do you feel about that?”

You sighed, leaning your head against his chest, listening to the way his heart thrummed against his rib cage.  “I feel… strange.  It’s weird to know that this entire condition was under the radar for my entire life until we started wanting to have kids.  And everything’s been happening so quickly, sometimes I feel like the entire world is spinning around me.”

Law hummed.  “I bet… it’s been a hard few months.”

You closed your eyes, your own hand trailing fleeting touches up and down his shoulder.  “Thank you for sticking with me, Law.”

Your husband picked his head up to gaze down at the top of your head.  “Why would you have to thank me for that?”

“Well…” you began, struggling to form words.  You felt too ashamed to face him head-on, and chose instead to keep hiding your gaze in his chest.  “We’ve been married for over two years, and I still haven’t been able to give you a baby like we’ve wanted.  So the fact that you’ve stayed with me–”

“Let me interrupt you right there.”  Law’s tone was firm and authoritative as he interjected.  “Do you remember what I told you before I got my own test done?  That I’m your husband and that I refuse to leave you over an idle issue?”

You dug through your brain’s memory bank, finally settling on the vision of the two of you in much the same position as you were now.  You smiled faintly.  “Right, the issue that might be resolved.”

Law pinched your cheek in his fingers.  “Will be resolved.  And do you remember what we promised each other on our wedding day?”

“Law, why are you quizzing me?” you questioned, voice barely higher than a whisper, as you finally lifted your head and made eye contact with your husband.

He didn’t answer you, instead continuing his own train of thought.  “On our wedding day, one of the promises we made to each other was ‘in sickness and in health.’  I feel sick to my stomach when I imagine a world where I leave you over this.”  His hands continued rubbing your back as he spoke.  “No one could have predicted this outcome.  No one could have ever expected a reality like this, but it’s a reality that we’re sharing.  I’m happy without children just as I’d be happy with children.  What matters the most to me right now, at this moment, is that you’re still here with me.  Right now, your health and wellbeing is more important than any hypothetical child.”

Law’s words were rapidly provoking heavy, salty tears to well in your eyes, which quickly overflowed down your cheeks and into the fabric of his shirt.  One of his hands caressed your cheek, feeling as your jaw shifted and you sniffled away the snot that was also forming in your sinuses at his words.  You blubbered, a weak smile crawling onto your weary lips.  “How do you always know how to make me cry?”

Your husband’s chest bounced slightly with his own chuckle.  “You bring the sap out of me.”

You laughed into his neck.  “For someone who claims to be shit with emotions, you’re surprisingly eloquent.”

He responded to your words by placing a tender kiss on the crown of your head.  “Well of course.  I need to make sure I keep my wife smiling, after all.”

After a few brief moments of gentle caresses, your tears subsided enough for you to ask, “When we get the okay from my doctor… Do you still want to try again for another baby?”

Law smiled.  “For as long as you want to keep trying, so do I.”

[antivan-sprig]

Just straight up edible yapping below:

I’m having quite literally the dumbest (highest) argument with myself right now.

I shrimply 🦐 must discuss it-

For the Rook’s Roost AU- I really want to keep Lisel’s story as similar to the OG one as possible (I just really like the story I created and feel like it works out nicely thematically). Also I just generally have less time to HC now that I’m working full time again (although summer break is coming up 👀) so keeping it the mostly the same is easier, more productive, and more fun for me.

HOWEVER. I love giving my OCs my family’s Hispanic name: Cordova/Cordoba (first one is anglicized) and was actually soooo bummed when you had to be a de riva (srry Vi, love you Vi). I was so so hopeful that you’d get to pick from a list, and Cordova is a pretty common last name in the real world, so I had hopes.

I think it’s such a pretty name and it has a cool history as well and idk, I just really like it. (My FE oc was a de Cordoba.)

also I believe Cordova is a legit house name (just not one of the main 8) because there’s a few items named after a Cordova. And as I said, it’s a common enough last name.

So now I have the chance to actually do that- but I can’t get rid of Lisel and Viago’s relationship. It’s just too crucial to her as a character to have a male figure who isn’t interested in her sexually + have such pent up resentment towards. That’s like… her main two things aside from Sylaise and a dead family.

Anyway- is it too period drama if I say Lisel was a de Cordova in name only, still lived with Vi in his fancy house (yeah that’s right, no crow barracks for Lis, she’s living large on daddy Viago’s dime) but was ultimately sent away to the Cordova house after the (would-be) Antaam incident? Viago visits her once or twice a year like a sad older brother coming to visit his consumptive sister.

Essentially that would make Viago’s re-homing of her the equivalent of kicking her out of the crows. I can either make the Cordova (Cordoba? Idk which spelling to use) house be a front created by Viago or just have a theoretical cordoba exist. This also means Lis hasn’t had any Varric or Harding time, so she’s extra bitter and extra repressed 😅.

And pre re-homing she was still used as an entertainer & spy by Viago.

Anyway thanks for coming to my internal monologue 👋

[zoeykallus]

Hi there, i assume you're most likely flooded with requests currently but here's my shot if you feel like it : how about how the Badbatch reacting to their s/o posting simple normal stuff on their social media (like spotify links, cute pics all that)? I think that would be so cute 🥰🥰🥰 i don't think you've done something like this before so it's totally okay if you don't want to!

Aloha!

Indeed, I am, and I barely have time to work through them, but I do, bit by bit, hoping no one hates me for being so slow 😬😅 Interesting question. Let me look into this....

The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Your Social Media

Warnings: Mostly Fluff/Maybe Slightly Angsty

______________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

______________

>Master List<

Tech

Our shy Tech uses social media to find out things about you, even before you're a couple. Stalker? Yes and no. Basically, he just uses it to try to find out what music you like, what movies, if you like to read, and if so, what books. Tech spends a lot of time browsing.

He is looking for information about you that will make it easier for him to start a conversation with you, to surprise you in a positive way and to respond to you. Tech feels more confident approaching you when he already has some background information.

But he also likes to check in on things in the future, keep up to date. He's often in the tunnel at work, and that's how he finds out if he's missed anything when he's on a mission. Maybe you've discovered a new favorite song, or something culinary, or you're reading a new book.

Of course, he doesn't miss the opportunity to send you links to reports, documentaries and the like, about whatever he's excited about. The last link was a report about upcoming, groundbreaking new hyperspace technology.

Hunter

He has no idea about social media, he himself has had no contact with it until now, and Hunter has never been interested in it. Until Wrecker points out to him that you're on social media.

"Have you seen that funny Loth cat video your sweetheart shared?"

Hunter frowns.

"What, shared, I don't quite understand."

Wrecker shows and explains everything to him in general terms, and Hunter ends up making a social media account on the Holonet. The cat video was amusing, but not the reason. He wants to know what else you share, if maybe there are hobbies he doesn't know about, or events you'd like to attend.

In fact, three days later he surprises you with tickets to an event you're dying to attend, but can't find the money in time.

Hunter doesn't spy on you, you can do whatever you want. He just picks out a few little things, like this event, to make you happy.

Echo

He stays away from it completely. In fact, he hates this social media nonsense. There was even a whole format of its own for clones, and he remembers well how some of his brothers used to act online. He doesn't really need that.

You can do whatever you want, of course, but he won't touch that stuff unless you explicitly ask him to. Echo still won't spend much time on it, just occasionally liking one of your shared posts, but that's all you can expect from him.

Echo is not comfortable on the Holonet, it's not nearly the same, yet it always kind of reminds him of his imprisonment by the Techno Union.

"You spend way too much time with this devil stuff".

Wrecker

He is all over the place. Wrecker has an account on every social media site, and he posts as regularly as he can. Cute and funny animal videos mostly and in stark contrast, videos of explosions. Every now and then a music video and articles about guns and explosives.

In fact, he bombards his pages so hard that sometimes you completely lose track of what's going on and don't really manage to keep up. But Wrecker miraculously knows, despite his own constent-posting, what's going on with you in social media.

Among other things, you once posted a picture of him when an admirer wouldn't leave you alone. After endless attempts to get rid of him and several block attempts whereupon the nag just kept making new accounts, you shared Wrecker's picture in full gear, with you next to him.

"This is my boyfriend, if you want me, work it out with him".

Wrecker drops the holopad laughing and says, "What's going on? You didn't tell me that someone was bugging you."

You shrug your shoulders, "Always wrote to me privately. I thought it was time to expose that person."

"Hm," growls Wrecker, "Let me know if he doesn't stop."

Crosshair

One of those who talk badly about social media, very badly, avoid it for quite a while and then suddenly sink into it almost like an addict. Crosshair has his holopad in his hand every free minute, checking his messages, new links and likes.

Crosshair will never admit it, but he really enjoys the attention, being anonymous in a way and still being noticed. Of course, he also digs through your social media, and you can assume that he scrutinizes everything.

He knows the guys who are on the Internet, make immoral offers, send nude pictures and want to have nude pictures and so on. Otherwise, he flies over the things rather so casually, he's not really interested, he rather wants his contributions to be seen, shared and liked.

[empressuxu]

Dear Soulmate

╭┈ • ┈ ୨୧ ┈ • ┈╮Chapter 2 ╭┈ • ┈ ୨୧ ┈ • ┈╮

Prev ˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ Next

The sun is bright today. Y/n thought, or maybe it was the week she spent hosting her late-night show. She doesn't know, nor does she care. All that this short girl could think about was finding gifts for her newfound soulmates.

“I guess we could start with the easiest.” Y/n pulled out her phone. She checked her notepad app, double-checking she got the right store. When she had mentioned her art-loving soulmate to her aunt, her ever-supporting aunt sent her to the location where one of her friends owed her a favor.

Y/n pushed open the door and was greeted with a rainbow of colors. She's been to stores in the Hidden City before, but this one made her feel like she was in another world. Everything just feels so lively and bright. She was now certain that Mikey was gonna love his present. 

“Did you need help, young lady?” an airy female voice asked. 

Y/n turned around to see a tall girl with bright orange wings tucked behind her. Wings that remind her of a monarch butterfly. Her eyes are large and bright, just like a butterfly. The shorter girl couldn't help but be captivated by the way they reflected the lights. 

“Um, did you need help?” The butterfly girl asked again, confused as to why Y/n was just staring at her.

“I-I do,” Y/n said, feeling slightly embarrassed that she was just staring at her like a creep. She quickly reached into her bag and took out the paper her aunt gave her. She was told that it had a list of things every artist needed, as well as a message to the staff that she was told not to read at all. As much as she wanted to read it, she didn't want to disappoint her aunty. 

She handed the note to the taller girl. “My aunty told me to give you this note.” 

The taller girl opened the note, wondering what it could say. As she read the note, her face began to turn pale. She looked over to the shorter girl; she just couldn't believe that this small-looking human was related to that huge and scary thing of a yokai. She must be adopted, the girl thought. “I-i-i’ll get started on this list. It's gonna take a second, so why not look around.” 

The s/c girl nodded and walked away from the clerk. She started to wander around the store, looking to see if she needed anything herself or if something caught her eye. Lucky for her wallet, nothing seems to interest her. 

“I guess I should text Aunty that I made it to the shop.” As she began to text her aunty, a text notification popped up. Clicking on the banner took her to a newly made group chat, the members being her and the turtle brothers. 

Donnie: I thought it was easier for our better half to have a group chat with us in it.

Leo: Dont lie u know it wast just ur idea. 

Mikey: Yeah! It was all of our idea >^< 

Raph: movin on r u free today

Y/n: im running some errands (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

Y/n: but ill be free later ヽ(‘ ∇‘ )ノ

Donnie: Good, don't make any plans for later. It appears that someone couldn't keep their mouth shut(Leo) and has told our father of your existence.

Donnie: We’ll come by your place to pick you up around 10. 

Leo: Make sure to dress cute! Maybe something blue? 

Before Y/n could reply, the group chat blew up. They began to argue about the color that she should wear. She giggled, and it was clear to her that they all had a color that was her signature color. It's cute, she thought. 

“Excuse me.” the butterfly girl spoke softly, sacred to speak any high just in case she's like her aunt. She placed a medium size bag into the s/c girl's hands.“It's all done and paid for by your aunt.” 

“Oh well, thanks for the help.” Y/n began to walk to the door but stopped right at the door. She turned around to say bye to the clerk, but she was gone. Maybe she went to the back, she thought to herself. Well, I have other stores I need to get to if I want to make it on time. With that, she left the store and began to her next destination.

The rest of the day went by quickly for Y/n. Before she knew it, she was at home putting on the finishing touches on her outfit for the night. It took her a second to find an outfit that incorporated all of her soulmate's colors, but she did it. 

There was a knock on her window. She jumped up in excitement, quickly putting on her backpack, she ran to the window she opened to see Leo leaning against the railing. 

He dropped to one knee, eyes closed, one hand on his chest and the other stretched out to her. “You’re handsome soulmate, is he-” His eyes finally opened to see her, and he was stunned. He had joked about her wearing something blue, but she wears his color. Granted, she was wearing her other brother's colors, but still, the blue striped shirt just looked so good on her. “Nice shirt.” 

She giggled and, taking his hand, she pulled herself through the window. “I'm glad you like it. “ 

“Like, no, no, I love it.” He pulled her close. “I love it on you.”

Y/n blushed at how close Leo was; she hadn't been this close to anyone in a while. Not since her last boyfriend was back in high school. Thinking back to him made her heart hurt. She gave him her heart, and what does he do?  He took her heart and broke it. He ruined love for her for a while. Every relationship after that never lasted long. She couldn't bring herself to trust any of them with her heart, so she was always closed off. He changed her for the worse. Her loved ones could tell her whole personality had changed. 

Her aunt couldn't stand her like this, so she helped her sweet niece. Giving her the tools to help her find her soulmate with a warning that she couldn't it may take her forever to find them, or she might never find them at all. Y/n didn't care; just hearing that she could find them was all the hope she needed to make her love again. 

She didn't like the girl who became; she didn't like how her family worried for her, how they fought about whose fault it was. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Leo’s hand on her cheek.”Are you ok there, princess?” 

“Y-yeah.” Y/n rubbed her cheek against his hand, trying to cover her mind.”I guess I'm just a little nervous to meet your dad.” 

He chuckled, “Well, don't be, trust me, he is more than happy to meet you.”  He pulled her closer to the latter and picked her up bridal style. “Well, I’m gonna have to hold you for this..“ 

“No-not that I mind, b-but can I ask why this is better.” She nervously asked him. 

“Because we’re about to go on a wild ride. So hold on tight.” Leo jumped over the railing, making Y/n squeak out of fear. He quickly pulled out his katana and sliced the air, for a second, Leo panicked. Out of all the times his mystic power could fail him, it just had to be this just as he started to brace himself to take most of the damage from the fall. A blue portal opened. Leo chuckled, feeling so relieved that his powers didn’t fail him. 

The pair fell through the portal. Y/n felt weightless as they fell, opening her eyes. She was met with concrete walls covered in graffiti and some kind of weird green substance. Her ears picked up on the sound of water running. “Are we in the sewers?” 

“Yes, we are.” He began walking towards the only light source near them, a tunnel covered with four familiar colors. Giving her one last hug, he started to place her down. “While I don't mind this oh-so-tender embrace from you, it's probably for the best that we walk from here, or else I’m gonna be murdered by my brothers.”  

Y/n, feeling sad about the lack of warmth, held out her hand.“Could we at least hold hands?” She asked sweetly, hoping her blue Romeo would say yes. Lucky for her, he found her so cute that he couldn't help but grab her hand. 

“How could I say no to you, my hermosa princesa.” He brought her hand to his lips for a quick kiss. 

Feeling his lips touch her hand, the poor, shy girl felt her heart race. His lips felt so warm and slightly rough. She wondered how they would feel about hers. Y/n could feel her face turning red at the thought of kissing him. Her mind was spinning; she never thought of kissing any of her last boyfriends this early. 

“Hey.” Leo tapped her forehead, the warmth from his three fingers brought her out of her thoughts. The blue-masked turtle could not help but feel worried for the girl. This was the second time today he had to pull her back to earth. 

“I’m sorry if I worried you.” She squeezed his hand to try to keep herself grounded. “I get lost in my mind a lot. I blame myself for getting nervous easily.”

He started to tung her along.”Well, can’t say I blame you.” Flashing her a smile, his unoccupied hand flared out dramatically. “I am your most handsome soulmate.” 

Mikey popped out from the light tunnel  “If you get the title of handsome soulmate, could I get  the cutest?” 

“I wanna say yes to the both of you, but I’m not sure that would be fair to Raph or Donnie.” Y/n took her hand back from Leo’s to open her bag. 

Leo pouted at the loss of warmth from his soulmate. 

“I got you guys some presents.” She handed each a gift box.” I would prefer it if you wait until everyone gets theirs to open it.” 

“Wells, let's hurry up and get you in there.” Mikey dragged her into the tunnel. 

Once inside, she could see Raph and Donnie seated on some bean bag chairs, watching a movie. She noticed a slightly worn-out recliner chair right in the middle of them. 

Donnie quickly took notice of the h/c haired girl and got up to greet her, with his brother in tow. ”Hope you got here alright.”

Y/n nodded “I got here ok. I was a little surprised to see that you guys lived in the sewers.” She once again reached into her bag.”I got gifts for you and Raph.” She passed them their gifts. 

She pulled the last gift from her bag. “I also got a gift for your dad. He is here, right?”

Leo walked over to the worn-out chair and spun it around to reveal a short, chubby rat.  “He's right here, princess.” 

“Y/n, this is our dad, Master Splinter.” Raph walked over to his dad. He ruffed his dad’s white hair, pulling a couple of strains from his bun “Dad, this is Y/n” 

“So you must be my son's soulmate.” Splinter walked to her. “My sons did so good to find someone so beautiful. Hopefully, my grandchild will get their mother's looks.”

Y/n face quickly turned red. She could feel her pulse quicken, the thumping almost audible in her ears. They just met his sons, and he's already talking about getting grandchildren. She’s only 21 and still relying on her aunty to get her through college. How is she supposed to take care of a child when she can barely take care of herself? “Um, it's nice to meet you, Master Splinter. While I thank you for the complaint, I think grandchild would have to wait until sometime later in the future.”

“I guess that's ok, but just don't wait too long. I'm not getting any younger.” Splinter sat back down on his chair.”And call me father.” 

Y/n smiled, she felt so happy that he asked her to call him father. Her father died pretty early in her life, so she barely remembered him. She walked over to the rat man. “Well, I hope you like your gift.” 

Splinter took the gift from her shaky hand. He looked up at the girl; she was shaking. She was nervous about the gift. She didn't have much to go off for his gift. The brothers only told her that he was always watching something on the TV. 

He ripped the wrapping paper like a child. Paper is flying everywhere. A flash of green fabric peeked through the flaps of the top of the box. Splinter's eyes widened in curiosity, reaching into the box, he pulled out a bundle of fabric. It felt like a blanket but had arms like a hoodie. 

“It's a blanket hoodie. I have one at home, but in pink.” She started to play with her hair. “It's super comfy to watch movies in it. Since you don't have to take your hands out of the blanket to grab things.” 

Splinter sat up on the recliner and put on the hoodie.”This does feel nice.” He sat back down and snuggled against the hoodie. “You’re now my favorite child.” 

Y/n felt giddy “I’m your favorite. But I'm not even your kid.”

“You will be when you marry my idiot sons.” 

Her face burned, she could feel the heat spreading like wildfire all across her cheeks and ears. “Well, that would be true, I suppose.” She said nervously, her palms suddenly clammy. “But  I think that another conversation to have later down the road. 

“Fine.” He turned up the volume.”I’ve embarrassed you enough to go back to my sons.” 

Raph came behind Y/n and picked her up.”Raphs got ya.” He walked away from his dad with Y/n in tow to another room. 

The room was dark; the only source of light was from the rows of game machines lined up on the wall. In the middle of the room were Donnie, Leo, and Mikey sitting on bean bags with their gifts in their laps. Raph placed Y/n on the bean bag chair next to Donnie before sitting down next to her.

“Well, I guess you boys were waiting for me, so why don't you open your gifts, starting with the youngest.” 

Mikey squeaked in joy, ripping into the box. He was so happy that she let him go first. He just couldn't wait a second longer; his curiosity was getting the better of him. Once the paper was gone, he opened the box to see sealed spray paint and a green canvas bag. 

“When you told me you got all your paint from the dumpster from behind the art store, I just had to get you some new ones.” She crawled over to Mikey and took the bag from his hands. “I also got you a bag. I just had to get it the second I saw it, look at the strap it has little orange turtles. Isn't that cute?” 

Y/n, in excitement, got a bit too close to Mikey’s face to show him the little orange turtle. Mikey could feel his face heating up from how close she was. He wasn’t even sure that she knew how close she was to him. If she did, he was sure she would turn red. He thought back to her question and couldn't help but think that the little turtle wasn't even nearly as cute as she was right now. “Yeah, super cute.” 

He quickly took the bag from her hands and put away his new paints. “Donnie, it's your turn now.” He said, trying to get the attention of Y/n away from him. He normally doesn't mind attention from his loved ones, but he swore his heart was gonna explode if she kept looking at her with those soft e/c eyes. 

“I am aware I was just waiting on you to stop hogging all the attention.” Donnie teased as he began to unwarp his present, trying very hard, not careful not to rip the paper. He didn't want anyone to know how excited he was; his present felt a bit heavy compared to everyone else. He opened his box to see a few game consoles and a couple of motherboards.  His heart began to race in excitement; it was hard to get his hands on complete consoles; it was always parts and bits from the game stores. Things they would throw away when they couldn't fit it. So, getting his hands on complete ones was hard. 

“Sorry that yours isn't brand new like Mikeys, but when your brothers told me that you like to make things out of old tech, I thought you would like this more since you can destroy them without feeling bad about taking them apart.”

“Thank you, I will not lie. I would have broken them down and felt bad after I realized what I did. So great thinking.” 

Y/n felt so relieved from his answer. She was trying hard not to seem like she had favorites, and while she had no problem buying them things, she wanted the gifts to feel personal. It was her first gift to them, so she needed them to feel special. 

Donnie closed the box and gently put the box on the ground.”Leo, your turn.” 

“Finally!” Leo quickly ripped the wrapping paper off his present. He hastily opened his box to see a blue basketball jersey and matching blue shorts. He jumped up in joy. “How did you even know my size?” 

Y/n giggled, feeling happy that he was so excited.”I asked Mikey.” 

Leo has never felt so happy in life as at the moment. He's never had a girl inserted in him before, much less one that even thought about getting him a gift. No one besides April, but he can’t count on her since she is more like a sister to them at this point. 

“I can’t wait to wear this next time we play.” He put the clothes back into the box “Raph, you may now go, my big bro.” 

Raph began to open his present. He was trying his best now to rip the paper, but it was easier said than done. Once the paper was gone, he opened the box to see a brown bear with a red ribbon on its neck. Picking it up, he could feel how soft it was, 

“It's from Teddy Bear Town.” Y/n played with her fingers nervously, trying to distract herself. “I figured since Mikey said I could call you my teddy bear, I should get you one.” She mumbled, feeling her face heating up. She couldn't believe she said that to him. 

Teddy bear, she called him her teddy bear. Raph knew Mikey said to call him that as a joke, but for her to take it seriously made his heart race. Raph could feel the heat rise to his cheeks. He could hear his heart beating fast; it was so loud. He hoped that no one could hear it, but at the same time, he hoped Y/n could. Ralph is not always good with his words, and he knows it. So he would hope that when needed, he could show her how he felt so she could know that she does like her. 

“Raphs gonna sleep with it every night.” He held the teddy bear close to his body, giving it a small hug.

“I hope you do.” She gushed quietly.”I hope y'all like the gifts. It was a bit hard for me to find the perfect gifts for y'all.” It was really hard for her to find them since she hadn't been to the Hidden City in a hot minute. She was really happy that her aunty was willing to help her so much.”I just realized I should tell my aunty that you guys like the gifts. ” Y/n pulled her phone out to message her aunty. 

“Does she live in the Hidden City or up here like you?” Donnie inquired 

“Yeah, she does. She owns a couple of businesses. I mean, I don't know what they are, but I know she lives in one of them.” Y/n answered. 

“Will we ever meet her?” Mikey asked, wondering what kind of person her aunt was or if she was yokai or human like her.

Y/n tilted her head. She would have to find a day that her aunt wasn't busy, but she was sure that they could make it work. “I would have to figure out a day that works for her since she's always busy, but probably not now since she is busy around this time of year.”  

“Well, just tell us a day, and we’ll make sure to clean the day,” Raph said, finally putting his bear down and back into the box. 

Leo clapped his hands, gaining the attention of everyone. “Now that's settled, why don't we play some games?”

[possibilistfanfiction]

More surgeon suffering pls! Maybe bea learning more about Ava’s injury?

[definitely sooo gentle & no present-day suffering lol but here u go]

//

‘you can ask.’

beatrice’s gentle, callused, careful fingers still along your back, their patterns you can’t quite decipher gone quiet. ‘i would never do that.’

her voice is so soft and so relaxed, it’s not at all a reprimand; you can’t say it aloud, not yet, but you love her. you roll over so that you can see the gentle planes of her face through the silvery-blue light from the moon and the night outside her big windows, the blinds not yet drawn. she looks at you openly, patiently, like there’s nothing she wants to take from you; everything she wants to give. you know — in your heart and through your friends and your family and your therapist telling you over and over again — that you have so much to offer: you’re beautiful and funny and very smart, and you love the world more than anyone you know. you also know that beatrice is sometimes less sure of herself than she seems: she clams up every time her parents call, unable to tell them to, unequivocally if it was up to you, fuck off; she loves to be lazy and sleep in and wants no one to know; she still is in the habit of downplaying accomplishments, anything from a surgery she mastered (impressive in that you know how hard it is) to a new route she climbed at the gym (you have no idea but lilith was jealous and you can imagine it’s hot); she’s a horrible cook.

‘i know,’ you say, and you do. you let a finger drift down the bridge of her nose, count her freckles, feel the chapped bow of her lips beneath your thumb. she has a scar, small, through her left brow, and you trace it. ‘what’s this from?’

she smiles, always so quick to understand, always so generous. it makes you feel like you could light up the entire world sometimes. ‘i was five; my brothers were trying to teach me how to rollerblade.’

you think about it: beatrice’s gap-toothed grin and the delightfully terrible bob haircut she had for so much of her early childhood, the photos making you laugh when, unprompted, lilith showed you a few weeks ago when you’d all had dinner at a good oyster place near bea’s house. ‘can you rollerblade now?’

‘no, it frightened me. i never learned.’

‘putting that on the short list of things that scare you. good to know.’

she holds up her right arm so you can see the small scar on her elbow, the skin darker than before. ‘at university, i was drunk and my crush dared me to climb a tree.’

you can’t help the laugh it pulls out of you. ‘oh my.’

she nods. ‘yes, quite. needless to say, amelia and i went our separate ways fairly soon after.’

‘well, her loss. i’d have paid to see you fall out of a tree.’

‘i didn’t fall,’ she says. ‘i scraped my elbow on the way up, but i did continue.’

‘of course you did.’

she shrugs. you trace the scars across her chest, ones you love. 

‘camila told me you tried to go back to classes a week after your surgery. like, the day after you got your drains out.’

bea laughs. ‘yes, and promptly fell fast asleep about three minutes in.’

‘front row?’

‘well, the second.’

‘knew it.’

‘i can keep going, if you like. i have a good story about a scraped knee during field hockey at boarding school.’

‘homoerotic, i hope.’

she rolls her eyes, but based on her silence you know you’re right.

she lets you sit in it, easily, and her house is beautiful and warm and, you’re beginning to think — to hope — it might be full of your things one day, too. it’s easier to be brave here, but your words, the worst of them, still get stuck in your throat. ‘well, what do my scars tell you?’

she weighs it. ‘you know i’m more interested in cardio.’

‘you’re the smartest person i’ve ever met.’

‘well, you favor your left hand when you’re practicing sutures, and i know your left foot gets numb often. you have trouble with temperature regulation and walking long distances, but an easier time standing for the most part; your neck aches, i think all the time.’ she pauses. ‘your handwriting is abysmal, although i suspect that has nothing to do with your injuries.’

you’re about to start crying, but she makes things lighter, even now.

‘all i care about, ava,’ she says, soft and sure, a hand tangled in your hair and then gentle on your cheek, ‘is that you get the care you need, that you tell someone — me or anyone else who can help. and you can tell me whatever you like, if ever you feel ready.’

‘i can’t — i want to.’

she kisses your forehead. ‘like i said. it’ll always be up to you. i’m here.’

you take a deep breath. ‘my mom had a garden,’ you say. ‘she died, uh —‘ you get a little caught, stuck on the way her eyes looked when she wasn’t alive anymore, when you couldn’t move, when you were stuck for so long, screaming and so, so scared — ‘she grew all kinds of vegetables.’ your voice shakes but beatrice only nods. ‘and flowers. we were going to —‘ you sniffle and beatrice just wipes your tears — ‘i think she wanted to keep bees. i don’t even know if that was possible; we had a little yard. but everything grew.’

‘that sounds wonderful.’

‘it was, even though i hated eating my vegetables.’

beatrice laughs softly, admonishing in a way that’s harmless, fond. ‘you’ve grown so much since then.’

‘hey, i’ll have you know just today i ate, like, seven bites of a salad.’

‘very impressive.’

‘can i — not right now, because i think i’ll just cry too much, but — can i tell you more about her? i wish you could’ve met her.’ i wish i could remember her more; i can’t forget.

‘i would love that. and, if she was anything like you, i’m sure she would’ve lit up an entire room. it would’ve been an honor.’

‘bea, i really don’t want to cry again,’ you whine.

‘you should know,’ she tells you, a little firm, so there’s no argument. ‘she would be so proud of you. i know it; who wouldn’t be?’

‘that’s —‘ you bury your face in her neck, just for a moment, soft and warm and safe. 

‘would you like to plant a garden?’

‘in my tiny ass apartment?’

‘no,’ she says, and you can’t see her but you can practically feel her rolling her eyes. ‘here. i have the whole back yard and, frankly, no real interest in a lawn.’

‘i —‘ you back up so you can look at her, and her eyes are clear. ‘really?’

‘of course. i’m actually quite interested in self-sustaining agriculture, and the pacific northwest has great growing conditions for so much wonderful flora and fauna.’

‘wow. okay, but — it’s your house.’

she pauses. ‘ava.’

‘i just — you’re sure?’

‘i would really enjoy it, if you’d like. also, my friend marco, from the climbing gym, runs the community garden in their neighborhood and has been pestering me to meet you.’

‘you talk about me?’

‘of course.’

‘well, if marco will do all the heavy lifting, and preferably both of you not have shirts on, i’m so in.’

‘it’s february.’

you shrug. ‘you’re tough.’

beatrice laughs, and you sink into it, delight in it. you could light up the whole world, ava, she told you after two glasses of wine and half an edible the other night, entirely serious, crammed onto the small couch in your small apartment, your life expanding far beyond, past any walls you knew. 

‘next weekend, when we’re both off,’ she says, ‘we can go to the nursery nearby and get started.’

‘you’re —‘ the love of my life sits right on the tip of your tongue, but you kiss her instead. ‘thank you.’

‘thank you for telling me about your garden, and your mother.’

all you can do is nod, and then hold her after she turns over and falls asleep.

[lucidlivi]

I Can See You (I)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 @cevansbaby-dove @cutedisneygrl (if you would like tagged in this, please send me a message or an ask with the title so I can make sure to keep my tags straight!)

story takes place during filming of season two of supernatural so the ages will make more sense!

switching points of view indicated with italics

a little mini series for you, I hope you like!

All my life, the only thing I ever wanted was to be noticed.

I wanted my parents to notice when I had done well on a test that was hard for me.

I wanted my friends to notice when I was quiet or felt out of the loop.

I desperately wanted that cute guy in my biology class to notice that I had spent the entire semester taking detailed notes just so I could help him study.

I just wanted someone, anyone to notice me.

It was never me though.

It was always my older brother Jared.

It was like he always had to one up me.

Nothing was ever mine.

For example, whenever I would ace a test, Jared would somehow be offered some prestigious award for academics.

He hung out with all the popular guys, and the girls practically threw themselves at him.

It was like he didn’t even have to try.

It's only gotten worse since he'd landed a starring role on the new hit show Supernatural.

Jared didn't know if they would even make it past the first season, but the show was an instant success. It catapulted him to stardom. Girls from all over the world were crazed about my brother.

It kind of grossed me out.

I had to admit, I was getting a lot of recognition now too, but it was always (y/n) Padalecki, sister of Jared, and never just (y/n).

I mean I love my brother to death, he's the best, but sometimes it would feel nice not to be so, so invisible.

I stretched my muscles with a sigh.

I had finally landed in Canada.

I was going to be visiting Jared for awhile, while they filmed season two of supernatural. I missed him like crazy.

I was also taking a much needed break from fashion school in New York.

"Moose!" I squealed, spotting the top of my brother's head.

I could hear Jared groan from across the airport. I chuckled as he hated being called Moose.

I pushed through the crowd of people, finally seeing my brothers dorky face.

He rolled his eyes before pulling me in to a bone crushing hug.

"I missed you moose." I said as I squeezed him.

"I missed you too brat." Jared laughs.

He lets me go, setting me back on my feet.

"come on, Jensen's waiting for us back at our house." Jared said grabbing my bag.

"wait you and Jensen are living together?" I asked, my cheeks tinting with a blush.

"yeah, we decided to just rent a place together this season, it'll be easier, is that okay?"

"mmhmm." I nodded not trusting my voice to formulate an actual answer.

Jensen Ackles.

my brother's crazy hot co-star.

and according to him, best friend, besides me of course.

I met Jensen before they started filming season one.

Jared and Jensen went on "bonding" trips together, I guess to make playing brother's more believable. I had been invited on a few. Of course I was always pushed to wayside, but I didn't mind.

It gave me the opportunity to gawk at the eye candy that is Jensen Ackles.

He wasn't just hot though.

He was more complex then that.

He was kind, he was funny, he was easy to get along with.

and I was completely crushing on him.

It didn’t matter though.

It wasn't like he noticed me.

I was completely off his radar.

"how's design school?" Jared asked breaking the silence.

"I just needed a break I guess. It's a cutthroat industry, and I don't know if I'm cut out for it." I admitted.

"what of course you are, you're insanely talented! I mean why do think I always call you before award shows? I trust you to make sure I don't look like a dork!" Jared laughed.

"well I hate to break it to you moose, but you always look like a dork, the clothes aren't going to help you." I smirked, earning a punch to the arm.

"ugh thanks to you the entire supernatural cast calls me moose now!" Jared groans.

"well if the shoe fits." I shrugged earning another punch to the arm.

"I could always call you gigantor, if you like that better." I added pushing my brother's buttons.

"I think we'll stick with moose."

Jared pulls in to a condominium.

It's beautiful, fit for celebrities I guess.

"wow, living the high life I see." I said as my eyes traveled around the luxurious condo.

"It's definitely crazy."

I gazed at my brother, seeing his shoulders slumped over.

I can't imagine how he was feeling.

I mean his life basically changed overnight. He can't go out now without girls flocking him. He has no privacy.

I know he won’t let it show, but I could tell the pressure that comes along with his new found fame gets to him sometimes.

I walked over to my brother wrapping my arms around his tall frame, squeezing him again.

"I'm really glad you're here brat, it's kind of nice to have some sense of normalcy." Jared said running a hand through my hair.

"hate you." I whispered with a smile.

"hate you too." Jared smirked.

I stepped away from Jared, just as the door flung open revealing Jensen.

"is that baby moose I hear out here? "

I swallowed harshly as he came over wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks and I hugged him back, nonchalantly taking in his sweet scent.

"Hi J." I said quietly.

Jensen stepped back, letting his eyes rake over me. I couldn't help but shrink under his gaze.

It was intimidating.

I took this time to stare at him too.

He's different.

His muscles were more defined now, signifying he'd been working out for the role.

His hair was still short but messy.

He had a very light stubble on his face that made his jawline more defined.

He looked good.

Better than good.

He looked sexy.

I heard Jared clear his throat loudly, making me tear my eyes away from Jensen. A heat spread throughout my body.

I wondered what Jensen was thinking.

"Jensen and I have a meeting with the director, I'll uh help you take your things in and then you can get settled while we're gone." Jared said.

I nodded my head as Jared grabbed my bag from the trunk, taking it inside.

"it's nice to see you baby moose." Jensen said offering me a cheeky smile before getting in the car.

I bit my lip, hiding the blush that spread to my cheeks. I followed Jared in to the house, which was even more extravagant on the inside.

"I guess it pays to be famous." I said spinning around to get a complete view.

"I'm not famous, just lucky." Jared laughed.

"yeah that's why a fangirl followed me around in the grocery store the other day, asking me a million questions about you."

"wait that actually happens?" Jared laughed.

"more times than I would care to admit." I said joining in Jared's laughter.

our laughter died down, a comfortable silence settling in between us.

"uh your room is upstairs, the third door on the right, next to Jensen's, you sure you're going to be okay here?" Jared asked handing me my duffle bag.

"I think I'll manage."

"I'll be back soon."

Jared placed a kiss on my forehead, before going out to join Jensen in the car. I watched them drive away before going to find my room.

Jensen

Jared got in the car giving me a stern look.

"what?" I asked innocently.

"don't what me, dude that's my sister." Jared growled.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I smirked.

"just keep your eyes away from my sister."

"I wasn't even looking." I laughed as I pulled out of the drive way heading over to the studio.

I was looking though.

She was different.

She looked different.

Her hair was longer.

She definitely grew in to her body.

She was no longer the lanky girl I had come to know.

I would be lying if I said my eyes didn't linger on her now defined chest.

She looked good.

Better than good.

She looked beautiful.

Fuck.

I shouldn't be thinking like this.

I mean this was my best friend's sister.

I know Jared would kill me if he knew I was thinking this way.

I better stop.

I didn’t want to though.

"hello, earth to Jensen." Jared said waving a hand in front of my face.

"sorry man, what did you say?"

"I asked if you were coming."

I looked up seeing we were in the parking lot of the studio.

I wasn't sure when we arrived, or how we arrived in one piece considering I wasn't paying attention.

"uh yeah sorry, just thinking about this meeting." I lied smoothly.

I just hope I can focus enough so I don't lose my job.

Reader

I finally settled in, unpacking my things and familiarizing myself with the layout of the house. It's been over two hours and the boys still aren't home.

I heard my stomach rumble.

I was starving.

I walked down to the kitchen, opening the fridge. I saw some ham and cheese.

Oh gosh a sandwich sounds good right now. I looked around in the cabinets, looking for the bread.

I finally found it, high up on a shelf.

Moose.

He needs to learn that not everyone is as freakishly tall as he is.

I stood on my tiptoes reaching for it, but alas I didn't get the height genes that Jared had. I huffed blowing a piece of hair from my face. I stood on my tiptoes trying again.

I heard a chuckle from behind me, causing me to snap my head back.

"need some help there baby moose?"

I blushed a deep red as Jensen came up behind me, reaching the bread with ease.

I could feel the heat radiating from his body just from the proximity.

I wondered what it would be like to be this close to him in a heated moment.

I let my imagination run wild for a moment before realizing he still lingered behind me.

He cleared his throat before stepping away.

I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I was holding.

"thanks." I whispered shyly.

"you know for a baby moose, you aren't all that tall." Jensen smirked.

"yeah, no Jar stole all those genes." I said causing him to chuckle.

"well baby moose I will gladly reach the bread for you anytime." Jensen said making me blush harder.

I'm sure I looked like an idiot from how bad I was blushing over his words.

"uh is Jared back?" I managed to choke out.

"uh not yet, they needed him to shoot a promo for the new season, he asked me to come check on you." Jensen said sitting down at the kitchen island.

I rolled my eyes at his protectiveness.

I was twenty two now.

I didn't need a babysitter.

"Jared still thinks I need a babysitter." I spoke as I took out two pieces of bread starting to make a sandwich.

"he's just worried about you."

"I can handle myself."

"I have no doubt about that." Jensen said.

I snuck a glance at him, accidentally meeting his eyes. He wore a smirk on his plump lips that got my heart racing.

"I have to, I mean now that you two are like major celebrities." I laughed.

"okay, hang on I was major celebrity before supernatural." Jensen joked.

I rolled my eyes throwing my cheese wrapper at him.

He dodged it with ease laughing at my antics.

"of course how I could I forget your starring role on Dawson's Creek."

"I don't know because I definitely made season six of that show." Jensen laughed.

“I never watched it.” I shrugged.

Okay that wasn’t exactly the truth.

I did watch it.

I watched it for him.

“well we’ll definitely have to change that.” Jensen said getting up from the island.

I let my eyes linger on his form as it retreated up the stairs.

I was hopeless.

I was completely hooked on someone I would never have.

I sighed sitting down and digging in to my sandwich. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.

I heard the door open, seeing Jared walk in.

He sat down beside me taking the other half of my sandwich.

“I made that for me you ass!” I whined hitting his chest.

“yeah out of my fridge!”

I rolled my eyes.

He had a point.

“how was your meeting?” I asked as we ate.

“really good, we’re all excited for filming to start.”

I wondered what it would be like to be on camera. I definitely didn’t have a face or body for film.

“actually there’s this party tomorrow, for the cast, kind of like a kick off to the new season, do you want to come with me?” Jared asked.

I was never a big fan of parties.

Jared always tried to get me to go to high school parties but it was never my thing.

“I guess, but just for you.” I said booping his nose.

I finished my sandwich, making sure to clean up after myself.

“I’m uh going to head to bed early, I’m exhausted from the flight.” I said giving Jared a hug.

I jogged up the steps towards my room. I felt the heat radiating from the bathroom as I passed it.

I could see the door was slightly cracked.

I peaked in seeing Jensen in only a towel.

He was wiping the condensation off the mirror.

I couldn’t stop my eyes from traveling over his toned chest and back.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared.

I would give anything to be able to run my hands down his body.

I bit my lip, forcing my body to move away from the door before I was caught staring.

I crashed on to the bed, letting my thoughts linger on the gorgeous man.

I wondered what his lips tasted like.

I wondered how it would feel to have his hands caressing my body as we kissed.

I wondered how his body would feel on top of mine.

I choked back a moan as I thought about him in such an intimate way.

A loud knock on my door tore me away from my thoughts.

I quickly sat up, I could feel just how flushed I was.

“uh come in.” I squeaked.

I was surprised when Jensen came in setting a laptop on my bed. I gave him a confused look as he typed away.

“Dawson’s Creek season six.” He smiled turning the laptop towards me.

I laughed as I brought the laptop to my lap.

“I’ll leave you to it.” Jensen said walking towards the door.

“aren’t you going to watch it with me?” I asked slightly disappointed.

“oh no, I never watch myself on tv, but make sure you pay attention cause I’m going to quiz you tomorrow.” He said.

I rolled my eyes at his antics.

“Goodnight Jensen.”

“Goodnight baby moose.”

I hit play, even though I had already seen every episode he was in.

I watched anyways.

I watched until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

I watched until I fell into a deep slumber, plagued by dreams of a man I know I would never have.

I woke up to a light pounding on my door. It was bright out, but still appeared to be early morning.

Jared strode in wearing running gear.

It was nice to see he still took his morning runs.

It was something that always made him feel at peace, helped with his anxiety.

“ugh what time is it?” I groaned throwing a pillow over my head to block out the sun.

“five am, come on a run with me.” Jared beamed.

“Jared normal people don’t go for runs at five in the morning.”

“good thing you’re far from normal.” Jared joked pulling the pillow away from my face.

“I don’t want to go for a run, I want to sleep.” I pouted.

“pretty please, for me?”

I glanced up at Jared to see him giving me the puppy dog eyes.

Damn.

He knows I can’t say no to his puppy dog eyes.

“you better get me an extra large cup of coffee after this.” I groaned throwing my legs over the side of the bed.

I threw on some workout clothes, making my way downstairs. I was surprised to see Jensen standing in the kitchen in workout gear.

Fuck.

I was uncoordinated, and the last thing I wanted to do was run in front of Jensen.

“you managed to get baby moose to come, impressive.” Jensen smirked.

I rolled my eyes grabbing a bottle of water.

“I uh hope you didn’t stay awake too long watching your new favorite show.” Jensen said laughing.

“It was alright, Pacey is definitely my favorite character.” I shot back walking past him towards the door where Jared was waiting.

“and what about CJ?”

“I mean he was alright in the beginning I guess, turned in to kind of a dick.”

“oh yeah how so?”

“I mean he did sleep with Audrey even though he knew Jen was in to him, kind of a dick move.” I shrugged.

Jensen huffed rolling his eyes.

“I didn’t write the script.” Jensen shrugged.

“It might’ve been better if you did.” I said, giving him one last glance before starting to jog.

I jogged at a steady pace, close behind Jared and Jensen.

I was smaller then both of them, so I took smaller strides.

I have to admit I did feel at peace.

I enjoyed the gentle morning canadian breeze nipping at my cheeks.

I was taking in all the beautiful sights around me.

I liked it here.

It seemed like we weren’t jogging for long before we were stopping at a little coffee shop.

“I believe I owe you an extra large cup of coffee.” Jared said glancing at me.

“I believe you are correct.”

“I’ll be right back, you want anything J?” Jared asked turning towards Jensen.

“nah man I’m alright.”

Jared nodded at us before disappearing inside the coffee shop.

It was silent as I stared at the quiet street, the town not quite awake yet.

“did you really hate CJ?” Jensen spoke making me glance at him.

“I think hate is a strong word, more thoroughly disliked him.” I laughed.

Jensen furrowed his eyebrows as I chuckled.

Was this bothering him?

“I like the guy who plays him better.” I spoke, not thinking about how it sounded.

I felt my cheeks heat up as I realized what I just said.

“oh well good.” Jensen responded, rubbing his neck nervously.

I was about to respond when Jensen grabbed my arm pulling me to his chest.

“Careful!” he shrieked as the coffee shop door flung open, almost smacking me in the face.

I swallowed nervously as he stared down at me, our bodies pressed together.

It felt even better than I had imagined.

“thanks for that.” I whispered tearing my eyes away from his.

I felt as if my heart would jump out of my chest at any moment from how fast it was beating.

I could feel his eyes lingering on me.

Jensen carefully tucked a piece of hair behind my ear that had fallen from my ponytail.

I shivered at his touch, feeling as if my body was suddenly engulfed in flames.

It felt good to be touched by him.

It felt heavenly.

I quickly jumped away from him, hearing Jared’s voice reappearing.

“what’s going on?” Jared asked looking between me and Jensen.

“uh baby moose is as clumsy as you say.” Jensen smirked, causing Jared to laugh.

I rolled my eyes taking my coffee from Jared.

I walked back to the condo as Jensen and Jared jogged ahead.

I was taking time to sip my coffee.

I was taking time to control my racing heart.

what in the world happened back there?

I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Ouch.

Okay that hurt.

and I’m not dreaming.

I bit my lip trying to fight the smile that made it’s way to my face.

I have no idea what that was.

but I liked it.

I liked it a lot.

I made it back to the condo, being informed that the boys had to go to the studio to shoot more promos for the new season, and that they’d be back to get me for the party tonight. I gave them a wave, crashing on to the couch from exhaustion.

I remember now why I don’t run at five in the morning.

I grabbed a blanket off the couch, curling up to catch a few more hours of sleep.

I woke up around noon, sleeping later than I would’ve liked.

I got up making myself some breakfast.

I passed the time watching more Dawson’s Creek.

It wasn’t like I had anything else to do.

It was starting to get later, I needed to get ready for this party.

I grabbed a simple mini dress throwing it on.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror.

I didn’t completely hate what I saw.

I didn’t love it either.

I wasn’t anything exceptional.

It was no wonder I was so invisible.

I heard the boys come back home, stomping up the stairs like a herd of elephants.

I put a light coat of makeup on, before brushing through my hair.

I heard my door opening, making me glance over.

Jared stood there in a button up and some jeans.

“you look beautiful.” Jared smiled.

“thanks moose, you look, well very moose like.” I laughed as Jared gave me an annoyed look.

“come on brat, it’s time to go.” Jared said rolling his eyes.

I grabbed my purse, following him down the stairs. Jensen stood there waiting, wearing an outfit similar to Jared’s.

He looked handsome.

He looked flawless.

I could feel his eyes linger on me as I descended the staircase.

“ready to go?” Jensen asked looking at me and Jared.

I nodded my head nervously.

I didn’t like parties.

I would suffer through this one for Jared.

and maybe a little bit to be with Jensen.

I played with the hem of my dress as Jensen drove. It was a silent car ride, nobody bothering to make conversation.

I sighed as Jensen pulled up to the studio.

I hesitantly got out, already overwhelmed with the number of cars in the parking lot.

I could feel the nerves taking over my body making it shake slightly.

I felt a hand on my shoulder making me relax a little.

“it’s going to be okay, just stick with me.” Jared said offering a smile.

I gave him a forced one, following him and Jensen inside.

Jensen disappeared immediately when we got in, going to hug various cast and crew members.

I have to admit I got a little jealous watching him hug multiple women.

It wasn’t like I had a right to be.

Jensen looked right through me.

I just had to accept that.

“I want you to meet Jim.” Jared said grabbing my hand and pulling me to an older gentleman.

I made sure to act super polite as I met various cast and crew members that I hadn’t met the first season.

I felt like Jared’s shadow as he made his way around the room. I didn’t know anyone really except for Jensen and Jeffery Dean Morgan.

I had already talked to Jeff for a little so now I had nothing else to do except following Jared around like a lost puppy dog.

It was exhausting listening to conversations I didn’t really care about.

I needed some air.

I quietly slipped out the door, not that anyone would notice I was gone.

Jared was too busy basking in the limelight.

I was happy for him, don’t get me wrong, it’s just hard to be in his shadow sometimes.

I sighed looking around the studio parking lot. A bunch of trailers sat on the lot, with names of cast members etched on the doors. I found the one that said Jared Padalecki, and took a seat on the steps.

It was a beautiful night out.

It was quiet.

I took a deep breath blowing it out of my nose in a huff.

“you know the parties inside right?”

I jumped as Jensen’s voice took me by surprise.

“geez Jensen I never noticed how observant you were.” I joked rolling my eyes at him.

“not a fan of parties huh?”

“uh not really, they were always sort of Jared’s thing.” I answered with a shrug.

“yeah they’re not so much my thing either, too many people.” Jensen said.

I nodded my head, an awkward silence falling between us.

“uh do you want to see my trailer?” Jensen asked.

I felt the all too familiar heat creep up my spine.

“uh okay.” I whispered, flushed.

Jensen extended his hand pulling me to my feet.

It turns out his trailer was right beside Jared’s. He opened the door allowing me to step in.

It had his wardrobe for Dean in it, a small couch, a mini fridge, and a bathroom. I let my fingers graze over his costumes, observing a few articles closely.

“It’s nice.” I smiled plopping on the couch.

It was rather comfy for a small sofa.

“perks of being like a major celebrity.” Jensen smirked, quoting me from yesterday.

Jensen sat down beside me, our bodies just inches from each other due to the small size of the sofa.

“I’m uh glad you’re here baby moose, Jared’s a lot happier when you are.” Jensen said giving me a smile.

“I’m glad I’m here too.”

It was quiet, another awkward silence falling between us.

“we should probably head back inside, people are going to wonder where we are.” Jensen said standing up.

I stood up too.

“wondering where you are maybe, in case you haven’t noticed I’m pretty good at being invisible.” I said with a slight frown.

“well I can see you.”

Author Note:

I hope you enjoyed part one of this mini series! Please give a heart, reblog, comment or follow if you want more! I appreciate it!

Part (II)

[dragonotaku-justineverything]

Can you rank the girls in Ichika's harem? Since you still like Infinity Stratos.

I do still like it indeed! Man it's honestly been a while since I watched that anime so it was nice to go back and look at a few episodes to refresh my memory! To make things easier on me though, I'm only doing the girls in the IS academy.

Form my least to most favorite, we have:

Rin Fan - She’s probably the only one on this list that I honestly don’t like at all really. She can cook and all which is nice, and she does have a sweet side, but she’s way too violent and jealous. I get that she’s supposed to be a huge tsundere, but like… she seems to have no qualms with pulling out her IS unit to try and hurt Ichika at the drop of a hat if she hears he had an interaction with another girl. She’s not just a tsundere, she's borderline Yandere in my opinion.

Laura Bodewing - Bit too cold and possessive for me. She becomes really cute and shy after like two episodes, but she still introduces herself with a slap and basically saying “I don’t like you and I don’t accept you as Chifuyu’s brother because you're pathetic compared to my incredible teacher”. She is still really cute, but I just… never really felt that attracted to her.

Kazanshi Sarashiki - I think she was really cute at first. The whole inferiority complex really drew me to her, and then she even got some confidence when around Ichika and the other girls. Unfortunately we didn't get to see much of her in the anime before the second season ended.

Cecilia Alcott - I... am kinda weak for how she sounds in the english dub. I think she's really cute in how she tried to get better at cooking to match everyone else's skills that were vying for Ichika's attention (even if she did end up kind of poisoning the other girls by accident when they tried to help teach her how to cook). I like how her snobbish superiority complex isn't her only personality trait and dissipates somewhat quickly. I think it's cute how she starts acting a bit helpless with things, but still regal while doing it, to get Ichika's attention/help.

Tatenashi Sarashiki - I like how assertive and confident she is. Like she didn't waste any time in trying to get with Ichika and doesn't beat around the bush with him, unlike all the others. That alone was a nice thing to make her different from the other girls. Her also trying to help out her sister with her confidence issues, granted not in the best of ways, was also really sweet. And her cat outfit?! Definitely a highlight of her character for me hehe.

Houki Shinonono - She’s also a tsundere like Rin, but not nearly as violent. She only gets aggressive with Ichika when she gets embarrassed by him. The childhood friend that grows up to have feelings for the main character, but unable to admit them, is always kinda sweet to me so that was nice. Plus she's also sort of a tomboy and that's super nice to me haha. The inferiority complex she has with her own sister too also draws me towards her a bit. She made a really cute/hot kitsune miko maiden in Ichika's birthday episode too!

Charlotte Dunois - Literally the sweetest girl in the whole anime in my opinion! I think she had the most chemistry and nicest interactions with Ichika in the anime. I liked when she got introduced, even though I didn't really believe for a second that she was supposed to be a guy like she was pretending to be. She's always just been super kind and helpful, even to the other girls aiming for Ichika's attention. The way she gets Laura more comfortable in her cat onesie and later her swimsuit is super wholesome! Her bikini was also the second hottest one in the whole beach episode and her dressing up as a french poodle for Ichicka's birthday was amazing! (I love her nickname Charl that Ichika keeps using as well!)

However, the "Hottest" woman in the anime has to be Chifuyu though, no doubt! She is so freaking sexy in that beach episode and such a tease on Ichika's birthday special with wearing that maid outfit!

[stilljuststardust]

Hey Stardust. I wanted to share another success story and continue on what I said about my previous point about consistency. I have a brother who is a heavy drug addict.

He has been suffering mental health issues. Unfortunately - he is in prison now but I am not going to accept that. He has always had a hard life.

During a time where my brother was out and doing goddess knows what - he had gone silent for a long time. I decided to put my feet down and everyday I assumed he was going to rehab everyday.

Mind you - I had other problems going on - especially with my mom and step dad fighting and other things happening (getting my information stolen and nearly doxxed) and other things.

One day - my mom told me he was in rehab. I was happy. I just happy he was getting better. He did leave after some time - but this time he was getting slowly better but unfortunately due to my old beliefs - he started drinking again.

The moral of my story? As you said “be consistent” and “keep going.” Another story was simply changing my age and staying home from a place I didn’t want to go to. Both times - I was dealing with other problems - both times I continued everyday to assume my age changed and I was staying where I was at.

Both of them manifested quickly. The problems were not important - I was an emotional wreck during both of these times. I doubted and sometimes thought it would be better to give up.

But I didn’t. I continued to - everyday - assume that I have my desires. I continued to- even when my stress and anxiety was at the highest it has ever been - to return to the state mentally my brother was in rehab, staying home and changing my age.

Not going to lie - I am manifesting my list. And more problems are coming up again now. My list has everything I want. I know - that I have to keep going. Be consistent. Keep going like I have done during other times of great stress and anxiety.

I wanted to tell you this - because without your help or guidance - I wouldn’t have been able to do this. I hope you leave some of your own opinions about what I said! I’ve been dealing with a lot of stress, anxiety and sadness - but I know this is not the end.

All I have to do is keep being consistent and keep going. Also - one question - do you think affirming to “get” something is okay or would you suggest not to do this?

I'm glad he got the help he needed, even if it didn't last. you can always return to that state. You did it once you can do it again ❤️

As for the second part, its controversial so don't burn me at the stake if you disagree, this is just one way of looking at it.

I think it doesn't matter. If you are thinking from the state of already having it, it doesn't matter why you're doing it. You are thinking from the state.

I think that "affirming to remind" can be a great way to make thinking from the state feel more natural and therefore easier to sustain, but it's not the only way.

Most of the discourse comes down to believe or don't believe, and I just don't subscribe to that. I think what exists is what I decide.

I guess the divide is between belief as in thought or belief as in feeling. In my perspective, emotions are a chemical response in the body and our thoughts are the shapes we choose to take as a consciousness.

What is belief truly? I don't know that I believe in belief (haha). Its immaterial and arguably could be presented in different ways. I think belief is important if by belief you mean what you choose to think, but I don't think belief is important if you mean what you feel in your heart of hearts.

A lot of people try to "figure out" whether or not they're believing and end up in a constant cycle of trying to "fix" what they feel, which is usually a losing battle. It's easy to turn belief into something outside of yourself that you have to answer to, but you're in control.

I agree with Sammy Ingrams definition of a thought you keep thinking, but I understand how it can be more than that. Maybe it's not more who knows, as I said it's immaterial and in my opinion up for interpretation .I think it's a hard thing to define because it's the sort of surrender to a concept, just letting a statement be. Which is why I think robotic affirmation works, because you're just letting the words be. You've said it, you don't oppose it, that's surrender.

I just kinda say I believe it even if I don't, because what exists outside of my decision? Nothing, I create reality. Letting your affirmations be spoken without opposition (arguing with yourself) is what manifests, at least for me.

Either way, I don't believe that you have to feel it emotionally. My heart is irrational, and my emotions are often too big for me. Emotion is fickle and in constant flux.

If I based what state I thought I was in entirely off of my mood I would think I didn't have it because I feel like shit. I don't feel like shit because I don't have it, I feel like shit because I'm not drinking water and I'm writing this in a sitting position that is abusing my spine. SO much of emotion is in the body because it's evry chemical.

Also my brain is randomly on today but don't expect that to be consistent, another bout of insomnia is still a possibility.

In conclusion, just say the affirmations.