#i feel like normal circumstances/breakup no

[theloveinc]

do u think if deku cheated on u all might would let u fuck

[zyafics]

HIII!!! I love ur writing sm <3 If you're taking requests, I was wondering if you could do one about a reporter reader who used to date Rafe but they broke up and now she has to interview him??? Set in college if possible! Thank you so much! I hope you're having a good day 🥰

hi baby! yes, i do take requests and i absolutely love this one 🥰 i made reader work for a network company but she's still in college and he plays basketball! (but fair warning, i know absolutely nothing about basketball so if i got the terminologies wrong, look away!!) i hope you enjoy <3 this is angsty as fuck

ALL FOR THE GAME | Rafe Cameron

MASTERLIST (Oneshot) | College Basketball Player x Ex!Reporter!Female Reader .ᐟ

Content — college au, athlete/reporter, prior breakup, heavy angst, hurt/no comfort

Word Count — 4.2K

You couldn't believe it.

It's considered lucky. For someone in your position—having received this entry-level job a couple of weeks ago—to have the opportunity to interview an athlete. In fact, many people would call it a great honor.

And it is. Under normal circumstances, you would be more than happy to oblige—elated, even—because people at this stage in your career rarely get such an opening. Especially since you're in college, fully prepared for this internship to be nothing more than grunt work.

Yet, this? This would allow you to advance your career at an expedited rate only offered to nepotism. You should be thrilled, overcome with joy, jumping at your feet and thanking whatever deity you believed in for such a chance.

But you don't.

Because the person to interview is Rafe.

Rafe Cameron, the top prospect of the NBA draft picks.

Rafe Cameron, your ex-boyfriend.

Your boss waits for an answer. He proposed the question a few moments ago, about covering the press conference for the last game of the season. Because of a sick reporter who called out at the last minute, your objective is to build a profile on Rafe Cameron. Since he's the leading prospect, with scouts all over the country looking at him, many people want to know more about the rising all-star who's done nothing but dominate the court.

This proposal, however, was done more out of common courtesy. No one would be stupid enough to say no, and when your boss raises a brow, signifying his manifesting annoyance from your silence and lack of celebratory cheers—you stammer.

"Um, um," you say.

"Um, what?" He prompts. "Will you be doing it or not?"

You shouldn't. There are many reasons why you shouldn't attend Rafe's basketball games. There's resentment because when you step back into that arena, back onto that court, you're reminded of how Rafe picked it over you. There's lingering sadness, residing heavily against the back of your heart, dulled from the passage of time, but not completely forgotten. And lastly, there's anger, because sometimes, all you want to do is scream, cry, and yell at the man who shattered your heart into a billion different pieces.

But that doesn't matter, does it?

Romance has no place in a reporter's life because you're nothing more but a projection for the audience, a vessel for the readers to learn about something else. You don't have feelings; you're a prop. And, certainly, it doesn't matter to your boss, who's only asking you because you're the last choice.

"Well?"

Seconds away from retracting the offer, something in your chest tightens. Logically, you know the choice to make. But your heart doesn't agree. It still hurts, aches, and burns at all of the past memories. It wants nothing more than to bury itself in a hole and pretend that such a critical part of your history does not exist.

But you can't. Life only moves forward. So, all you do is move with it.

"I'll do it."

By the time you arrive at the stadium, all you want to do is run. Anxiety pricks at your spine and your palms grow clammy by your side. Everything inside you is blaring like a warning, cautioning that this is a mistake, that you aren't ready, and that you should turn back.

Despite the badge dangling around your neck, you almost listen. Put your career on hold for a man who hasn't given a single thought about you since the breakup. You can't let him win, and with that reminder, you move with the mob, flocking to their seats.

The atmosphere is charged with exhilaration, and you're reminded of everything before. It's automatic. How easy it is for you to return to old patterns, to follow them, and to find yourself trickling down the steps and towards the courtside seats reserved for family and friends of the team.

Until a hand is placed on your lower back, and a security guard guides you to the press box instead.

It's quieter. The enclosure of the room dulls the energy of the crowd, with a thick sheet of glass separating you from the rest of the people, and reminding you of your purpose.

You take a seat on a cushioned chair, reserved for your network, and look around the place. You're among the most seasoned reporters in their field, chatting with one another, familiarity engulfing the air that somewhat alienates you. They pay you little mind—saved for a curious-yet-judgmental glance at how you wore a jersey compared to their formal suits and pencil skirts. When you follow their line of vision, you realize it wasn't an ordinary merch of the UNC team but Rafe's.

"Fuck," you mumble. You hadn't realized you picked out his jersey; it was left in the back of your closet and you couldn't see yourself attending your college's game without a visual form of support. This probably appears to the rest of the journalists that you're nothing more than a superfan who managed to weasel their way into their network.

It makes your stomach flips with nausea. You want to separate Rafe from you as much as possible, and with a quick run to the bathroom, you change out of the merch and throw it over your tote, straightening out your blouse underneath. When you return, the players are slowly filling out to court.

The visitors' team enters first; UNC follows. You count each player that exits the locker room, watching their expressions as they grin and absorb the energy of their home stadium, as they walk down the length of the bench, as they talk among themselves and share playful jests and banter. You didn't even know you were holding your breath until Rafe stepped out last, to the loudest cheer of the crowd, with a solemn look on his face.

You watch as Rafe searches the stands. Not in the same manner as his teammates, where they're acknowledging fans, or sending flirtatious winks to pretty girls sitting front row. It's different— with purpose. He's searching for something—someone—and your heart clenches in your chest at the thought of Rafe having found your replacement.

But it's been months, hasn't it? It should be more than fair game for him to date whatever he wants. You can still act professionally with this developing news, but it's striking down at your armor.

However, whoever he's looking for, he doesn't find. Rafe goes to huddle with the rest of his team as their Coach gives a final motivational speech before releasing them.

The game starts with a tip-off, and once the referee throws the ball in the air, Rafe takes it into his possession.

He sprints across the court, slicing through the opponent players, and scoring points on the board. Rafe is powerful, knowing exactly when to exchange his hands and pass to his teammates, where exactly to cut through, and when to commit to a play. Commentary heard from the built-in speakers can attest to it, as their primary focus is on how Rafe is taking the last game of the season by storm.

But, while everyone's eyes are glued to the game, as much as you try not to, you can't do anything but stare at Rafe.

He's just as incredible as he was when you were dating him; if not, more. In some way, it makes your heart tighten, knowing that this validates his reason for the breakup. You just wish he felt some semblance of the pain you feel. But as much as you hate it, you're also proud. Rafe has come so far, and trained so hard, to make it to where he is. If he secures a win for the last game, it will be nothing but a guaranteed track to the NBA and luxuries and fame ahead.

All without you.

By the time the game ended, Rafe scored the last shot in a close game, delivering the end of the conference with a secured UNC victory. Everyone in the press box stands from their seats, heading to the media room where they'll be meeting a panel of UNC athletes for questions.

Yet, you linger. You step up to the glass, watching as the erupted cheers of the audience surround the entire stadium, much to the glee of the UNC team, while Rafe stands in the middle of the court for a few seconds, soaking everything in. His eyes pan across the bleachers again, in search for something, before his expression falls and he retreats to the locker room.

When you enter the room of journalists, you slip into a seat. It'll be a while before the players come shuffling in, and you take each second to rehearse and calm your nerves. In one hand, is a tape recorder, while the other is a notepad of the written questions you plan to ask.

UNC's Publicist steps out first to provide an official statement and give a brief overview of the conduct of this press conference. She'll be the moderator, giving everyone enough time to ask all of their questions, and she'll be selecting the networks to her own accord. After everyone comes to the general consensus, the door opens and the Coach steps out with his players.

You watch with bated breath as Rafe is the last to enter, freshly showered and changed into grey sweatpants with a matching UNC zip-up jacket. His headphones dangles around his neck, while his expression exudes nothing but boredom and reluctance. Rafe has always hated interviews, especially post-games, during your relationship. At least that's the one thing that hasn't changed.

You drop your gaze to your lap, swallowing hard as you calm your racing heartbeat. It's been months, yet you still feel the same emotions coursing through you as if no time has passed—longing, hurt, sadness. You whisper positive affirmations, reminding yourself that it's just a job, and that'll be short and simple. You won't even have to speak to Rafe, because your boss may have said to find out more about Rafe Cameron for your profile, nowhere did he say you have to ask him specifically.

When Rafe sits on his chair, he lazily scans the room, a habit of his to pass the time, before he spots you among the crowd. In the third row, second seat; your favorite choice to sit. You don't see it, but a corner smile lifts to his face, demeanor changing, and he straightens up in his seat.

Throughout the conference, the publicist hands the microphone off to whoever she selects. They often direct their questions at Rafe, to which he gives monosyllabic and deadpanned answers. Then, when they try to seek more clarification, Rafe gives them nothing, much to their grimness.

You keep your head low, writing down notes, and drawing doodles on the edge of your notepad. Anything to avoid making accidental eye contact with Rafe. But, regardless, you feel him. The heat of his stare remains on you the entire time, especially when the publicist approach you and hands you the microphone.

It’s time.

With trembling hands, you stand from your seat. You turn your attention to the front of the panel, introducing yourself, your network, and your job. Smiles spread across Rafe's teammates as they recognize you, and you offer a polite one of your own.

Beginning at the furthest player at the end of the table, you ask, "How would you describe Mr. Cameron as a teammate?"

He grins as if he was prepared for this. "Rafe's an incredible teammate and captain. He's a capable leader, who's strong on the court, but also strong on having his teammates' back. You saw it back there—" That earns a small laugh from the reporters. "But, yeah. Rafe's one of my favorite teammates, if I'm being honest."

You tilt your head at that conclusion, because, if you remember correctly, in freshman year, he often rivaled with Rafe and got into fights over minor things. Regardless, you nod, thanking him for his response, and moving on to the next player with the next question.

"What do you think about Mr. Cameron's plays throughout the season?"

"Is that all you got for me, Mrs?" The second player teases playfully, causing heat to warm your cheeks. "Whatever, I got this. Well, let me think. Rafe's always had solid stats. He's one of the hardest-working players on and off the court, and he always keeps his head focused. Even when he had a bit of a bump a couple of months back, he adjusted his plays and bounced back. That’s his resilience."

Your breath hitches at the implication. You try your hardest not to sneak a glance at Rafe, but you can't help yourself. Turning to your side, you discover Rafe watching you, his expression grimacing at the confession of his teammate.

Months ago. The only thing that changed was your breakup. Does this mean he was as affected as you were?

You try not to think too much about that. Thanking the player again, you move to the next, asking more about Rafe's character—his prospects for the NBA, and his experience managing a student-athlete. You didn't ask just about Rafe, you asked about the games and conferences too, but most of the players always return their answers to Rafe. Positively. As if they had this unspoken agreement behind the scenes to hype Rafe up to his ex-girlfriend.

Time goes on, and you start to immerse yourself in the role. It wasn't as difficult as you expected, especially because you're entertaining a team who've known you all throughout their collegiate career. They answered the questions with enthusiasm and a playfulness that can only be recognized by years of familiarity. You can feel the energy from the reporters shift, stewed with envy, because of how the players are showing favoritism to a novice reporter who barely has her foot in the door.

Rafe watches you the entire time. How truly riveting you are in your role. How you command the room with your questions, how you captivate the players, and how you grow more comfortable as you talk to your teammates. He waits patiently as you make your way down the table, for his chance to talk to you.

But just as he's about to be next, you return the microphone to the moderator. You were going to leave him hanging. Before you can fully hand off the mic, a voice commands the room.

"What about me?"

It was Rafe. You lift your head to find him leaning against his own microphone propped on the table, his blue eyes pinned on you, his expression full of want. Your lips part, but no words fall through. The publicist doesn't take back the microphone.

You stammer. "What about you?"

"Don't you have any questions for me?" He questions, as the crowd murmurs with surprise. On any other day, Rafe would've gladly taken the lack of questions aimed at his face. You've done your research; you've seen his previous interviews.

"I..." You can't seem to answer him. All eyes—from the Coach, to the players (who are smiling their head off), to the reporters—turn to you. "I've asked all my questions."

"I'm sure you can think of one more," he declares, his eyes not once straying from your face. As if he's taking the time to memorize all of your features, to absorb any changes. "Come on, hit me."

Everyone waits. Eagerly. With jealousy. The media room stills with a palpable silence, and you can't do anything but retract your arm, holding the microphone back up to your lips.

You blink, racking your brain for any questions. You truly did ask all of them, and there's nothing appropriate enough to ask in front of a room full of people who are recording and monitoring your moves. So, you settle on something safe.

"How did you feel scoring that winning shot?"

Rafe takes a deliberate moment to consider his answer. His silence tells it all. Before he leans down against the mic, his lips centimeters from the pop filter, and he says, "Empty."

Flashes of the camera go off, and hushed whispers are heard throughout the room. But none of that matters to you. Your eyes remain on Rafe, your heart skipping beats from his confession, and you tame enough of your voice before asking a follow-up. "Can you explain why?"

He nods. "Basketball is great and all, and I'm grateful for everything that has happened, and all I have accomplished. Hell, I'm even grateful for this team right here that's been such a hardass on me since day one," he gestures to his teammates on the panel, and they all grin and laugh. One even blows him a kiss. "But, at the end of the day, it's just a game. Without the people you love by your side, it's meaningless."

You truly feel like all the air has been sucked out of your lungs and tears crowd your waterline. When his words finally deliver through, it's almost a straight shot to your chest. This was the admission you'd been waiting for, but it didn't feel satisfactory whatsoever. It's painful, all of the old wounds opening by their stitches, and grief comes crawling up your throat, demanding to be felt.

You don't answer him. You can't. Rafe watches you carefully, trying to gauge your reaction, trying to see if his words had any impact, but you hide them well. For now. With tears stinging your vision, and seconds from unraveling at the seams, you drop the microphone onto the chair and leave the room in a rush.

That's when he realizes he fucked up.

Rafe stands from his seat, ready to follow after you, but his Coach commands him to sit down. His gaze remains on you until you exit the room, but with direct orders, he can do nothing but slump back into his chair.

When Rafe finishes the rest of his interviews, with more reluctance than he had before, he wants nothing more than to go back to campus to search for you. But he doesn't know if that's such a good idea. Clearing out, Rafe steps out of the doors.

To where you were waiting.

"You had no right," you snap, as Rafe heads to the exit of the stadium. He whips around at the sound of your voice, finding you leaning against the wall. As much as he knows he fucked up, he can't explain the happiness he feels at seeing you still here.

"For what?" Rafe prompts with an easygoing smile, "Talking? I'm pretty sure that's what the press conference is about."

But you don't take it so easy.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," you huff, "You used my words against me."

During the breakup, Rafe had said something along the lines of focusing on his basketball career. You had rebutted that basketball can't be the one thing in his life. At the time, he disagreed, prompting the necessity of the breakup further. It had hurt to hear your words twisted and used against you.

"It was friendly," he reassures. "Just like the rest of my teammates. Talking like we're friends."

"We're not friends and you know that."

He frowns. "We said we would be."

"No, you said that," you hiss, clenching your hands by your side, memories slapping you and prickling your skin. "To rid yourself of the guilt, or to make it seem like permanent. I don't know. But it doesn't work that way with me, Rafe. We aren't friends."

His brows pinch together, and agitation flares through his hard features. "So, that's what it's gonna be like? You come to my games and you interview my entire team but you ignore me because we broke up? That's unprofessional."

You falter. "That's not fair."

"It isn't?" He challenges, stepping closer into your space. "How do you think I felt when you were interviewing every single one of my teammates about me, but refusing to talk to me? To look at me? What does that suggest?"

"That I got everything I needed from your teammates."

"You could've gotten it directly from the source."

"I didn't need to,"

"You could've,"

"Why are you so adamant about me talking to you?"

"Because you're acting like a vindictive bitch."

You stagger back as if he struck you, and Rafe instantly regretted the words that left his mouth. But he can't take them back. Your lips part, and you stare at him in disbelief, but you come up with nothing to defend yourself.

With the hardest glare you can muster, you proclaim, "Fuck you, Rafe."

And you turn to leave.

Rafe quickly follows after you. "Wait—that's not—I didn't mean that."

"I don't want to talk to you anymore."

"Just like you didn't want to talk to me in the conference room?"

"You broke up with me!" You snap, stopping in your tracks with such abruptness, that Rafe almost ran into you. Turning back around to face him, you say, "You were the love of my life, and you left me, and you expect me to keep it professional?"

Rafe says nothing.

"I'm trying," you croak, tears crowding your vision again, and you hate how vulnerable and pathetic you feel in his presence. Like it was back to that night in the car, where Rafe said it was over. "I'm trying to do this right."

Rafe watches your face with anguish, but he can't say anything. You're trying hard to keep your composure, and regain some semblance of stability, you say with a even voice, "I'm glad everything is working out the way you want it to. I'm glad you get this bigshot career and you're about to make it in the NBA, and I'm glad you found it so easy to move on but that's not how it worked with me." Your voice cracks. "I loved you. I can't just forget about it like it's nothing."

His voice is small when he answers. "I didn't."

"You didn't?" You repeat with disbelief. "Rafe, you're thriving. You barely look like our breakup had any impact on you. You're about to secure one of the biggest deals in NBA history. What else could you possibly be missing?"

"You."

His dark eyes connect with yours in utmost vulnerability and it cripples you. All your aggression and anger, all your pent-up frustration—it makes you upset that Rafe manage to disarm you with one word.

"No," you step back, shaking your head, "You can't do that."

"It's the truth."

"It's too late."

Rafe looks pained at your declaration. "Don't say that."

"Don't say what?" You sniffle, your vision blurring with hot tears. "My truth? Did you expect me to wait around for you to come to your senses? To beg for you to take me back?"

"I didn't..." Rafe stammers, searching your face for any indication that it isn't too late. That he still had a chance. But he doesn't find any. "I was honest back there. Any win without you feels empty."

"Stop,"

"I made a mistake."

"Rafe—" You shake your head again, sucking in a deep breath, and needing him to listen and step back. "I'm not here to talk about that. I don't want to talk about that."

"But I do,"

"But I don't," you declare firmly. "I just... I need you to understand. You can't do that. I'm trying to move on with my life. And I understand that we're going to be seeing each other, no matter how I don't want to. But I'll get used to it. I'll numb that pain. But you can't do that. Here; back there. It wasn't fair to me."

Your words sound too permanent. Too real. Rafe can't stand it.

With desperation, he pleads, "Can we talk?"

"We're already talking."

"No, I'm talking about us," Rafe says, taking a step forward. Only for you to take one back. "Please."

"There's nothing to talk about it."

"There's so much to say."

"Name one."

"I miss you."

"Rafe," you cry, tears streaming down your face that you can no longer contain. He hates seeing you cry. He hates it more to be the reason. All he wants is to pull you into his arms and apologize, over and over, to soothe the pain, but it looks as if it would hurt worse if he tried to touch you. "Please stop. You're breaking my heart again."

He made a mistake. There are so many times he can say that. When he saw you in the media room, for the first time in months, it came rushing back to what he's missing. How much he's losing you. He wanted to ask you so much—about how you're doing, to learn how you got the job, to uncover more about how close you are to achieving your dreams.

But he was barricaded. By responsibilities, obligations, and duties. He couldn't ask you in a room full of people. He couldn't help you when his father pressured him to break up with you for his career. He couldn't do anything, then. But he wants to do better now.

He says your name, so defeated, in a last-ditch effort. But you shake your head.

You need to leave this place with whatever is left of your pride and dignity. So, you straighten your spine, take out his jersey from your tote, and hand him the last remnant of your relationship. "Congratulations on your win, Mr. Cameron. I wish you the best in your career."

And when you turn to leave this time, he doesn't stop you.

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[jenchan-writingmultis]

Twisted Wonderland Boys x Gn! Reader Breakups

A/n: I had fun writing this one! I hope you like it!

Masterlist

Chapter One: Heartslabyul

Not Beta read

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

Sypnosis: Imagine how twisted Wonderland boys are as your ex-boyfriends? Who would cut ties first? or how they would break up with you due to unforeseen circumstances? what was the reason for their breakup, and how would they do it?

Warning: Self-destructive behavior on reader's part (Jack Howl)

Savanaclaw:

Leona: He breaks up first because of his fear of hurting you

𓃬 There are plenty of reasons why Leona would break up with you, but one’s thing for sure, it wasn’t because of his royal family, or some bullshit like that. He just thinks it’s better to part ways than to deal with the current problem that was arising in your relationship with him.

𓃬 Your relationship was going normal and actually perfect for once, he had someone who he cared for deeply and someone he finally can keep for himself, not someone for his brother, you were only his. He was content with what he had, and for the first time, he started to be present in classes if it meant spending more time with you (since you told him multiple times that you were not gonna cut classes with him) so he reluctantly started going to class more often just to spend a few more hours with you. Be grateful herbivore, the things he does for you.

𓃬 However, he still wanted more than just you, still pushed further, still wished for validation, for success that he can be number one, not only to prove himself to the world and his royal family, but to you too. He didn’t want you to think he’s always at best, a second rate.

𓃬 You were kept in the dark of his plans, since you’re not a savanaclaw student, he could plan freely without you knowing, his plans were corrupted as hell too.

𓃬 The moment that he executed that plan however, he didn’t expect you to be part of the one rebelling against him. Was this some kind of sick joke? Why did you decide to defend Malleus’ than your own boyfriend? That became a reason why he was pushed off the edge, in the state of his distress, his judgement was clouded, and he almost turned you and Ruggie into sand.

𓃬 When he woke up from his overblot, the first thing he noticed was your arm, you were hugging him, begging him to wake up, that his ears flopped down, his hand twitching to touch your arm, which you didn’t let him since you were hugging him so tightly with that one unharmed arm.

𓃬 “Herbivore” his expression turned into worry, as he touches your hand “I’m okay” you whispered, trying to hold his hand as well, except, you couldn’t feel your hand.

𓃬 His breath hitches when he saw your hand unable to move, burying his face into your shoulder he sighs, “Let’s go to the clinic”

𓃬 He tried to offer you his bed indirectly, but you refused multiple times, stating that you only had an injury on your arm while he might be suffering internal damage.

𓃬 At first, he didn’t feel anything for awhile due to the effects of the overblot, but he felt especially bad when he saw how bad your hand was harmed. The doctor stating that you were lucky that your nerves weren’t permanently damaged, and with physical therapy. Hearing that made his frown go further. While it was a guaranteed success, what happens if he overblots again?

𓃬 Fuck, he didn’t even know that you were part of Malleus’ little scheme, if he knew, he would have dissolve the plan and create a new one just to get you out of it.

𓃬 Biting his lip, he looks down, looking defeated.

𓃬 “Leona, it’s okay” you tried to touch his hand but he pulls it away, turning away from where you’re sitting besides him. He didn’t understand what he was feeling currently. Was it anxiety? He wouldn’t overblot again cause of this right? He couldn’t help but sigh and just close his eyes, hoping that this was some kind of shitty dream, and he hoped he wakes up out of it.

𓃬 He unfortunately, did not wake up from the nightmare, still seeing the scar on you as the result of his action, he thought giving it time, it’ll heal up eventually, but it became a reminder that not only was he a danger to his juniors, but a danger to you himself.

𓃬 He chuckled bitterly to himself one time when you two were cuddling you on top of him while his hands were behind his head, using it as a pillow, he wanted to cuddle you as well, but this new fear of his was starting to develop and consume him.

𓃬 Looking at the ceiling, the silence was deafening, you scrolling on magicam as usual, what was once a relaxing moment, became a suffocating embrace to Leona, and you were clueless about it.

𓃬 “Hey” he calls out to you as you stopped scrolling, placing your phone on the bed as you lift your head up. “Yeah?”

𓃬 His expression was unreadable as he didn’t even bother looking at you. “Let’s end it”

𓃬 “What?” you sprung up, pulling away from him as he closes his eyes, eyebrows knitting as if he’s the one annoyed, shouldn’t it be you?

𓃬 “I just lost interest” he lied, closing his eyes more, not wanting to see your expression. But you didn’t buy that, you tried to grab his arm, trying to get him to open his eyes and look at you, but he didn’t. “Herbivore, just leave, I know what I said was pretty painful, you can deal with it when I’m out of the picture”

𓃬 Your heart shattered, biting your lip, “Is this about what happened in the overblot? Leona, I told you I’m fin-“

𓃬 “What happens if I overblot again?” he asked, finally opening his eyes as your breath hitches, seeing the turmoil of emotions in it. “What happens if you became my target, again?”

𓃬 “You sided with Malleus, you betrayed me” he reasoned, thinking that if he acted as if he was hurt by your betrayal, you might have a reason to move on from him “I can’t just let that slide Herbivore”

𓃬 He was expecting refute, anger, expecting a slap on his face but his eyes widened when a tear strolled down your face.

𓃬 He reached out instinctively, a habit he developed ever since you started dating as he wipes your tears away.

𓃬 “I’m sorry” you sob out, trying to lean closer to the hand that became your comfort for all these years.

𓃬 Leona sighs, finding it hard to push you away when he wasn’t the only one that got their defenses broken down, but yours as well.

𓃬 “Give it some thought” he urges, cupping your cheeks. “Let’s take a break from each other, that’s all I ask”

𓃬 It was much better than breaking up.

𓃬 As an "ex" boyfriend, he's a 9/10, respects the time he asked for, he wouldn't bother you, he trusts you that much. He was the one that asked for it as well. it will depend on you if you two got back together. Did you find someone new? or did you realize you deserve so much better? Either way, he will support your decision once you see your life without him in the narrative.

Ruggie: Breaks up first

𓃢 Ruggie lived paycheck by paycheck already, he didn’t expect that he’d add another in his already hectic life.

𓃢 He really tried his best to become a good boyfriend to you, but like Riddle, he has a lot of side hustles that he gives priority over you. Of course, he loves you! It’s just he wants to place his family first. Which would be a reason for your breakup.

𓃢 You both had different priorities in life, and while the start of your relationship was stable to the point it felt like a dream that Ruggie could never had, it was real, even if for a short moment, he loved you, he knows that you were going to drift apart eventually.

𓃢 No one loves forever, a controversial take but nonetheless true for people with limited lifespans, if he was immortal, he’d place trying to get out of poverty for the first hundred years and once he’s stable, he’d court you.

𓃢 But that’s just a pipe dream, he doesn’t even know if he’d ever get out of getting scraps from the ground off rich people who he had to mooch on. He certainly didn’t want that kind of life for you.

𓃢 So, as early as possible, he’d break it off, it didn’t surprise him that you agreed, having to have spent less time this month than the other. He is hurt with how fast you agreed to breaking up with him, not knowing that you only agreed so he wouldn’t pass out of exhaustion just because he didn’t want to sleep to spend time with you.

𓃢 Seeing him getting run ragged by various jobs, even by Leona made your heart ache, and add to the fact that you were starting to become one of the people he exhaust his remaining energy in.Instead of feeling like you were his rest, you started feeling like you were the burden, an additional burden to the plethora of responsibilities he had.

𓃢 During the time of your break up, he managed to get you out on a date, he didn’t know if this was considered sick and twisted when your first official date with him became the last one as well. He was going to use the money to take you out a few months ago, in a cafeteria just a walk away from NRC, but deciding against it, thinking that you deserved better.

𓃢 Which sucks cause now, he’s going to take you out somewhere more decent with the thought of leaving you. During the whole time, he couldn’t read your expression, he was straight to the point with it, telling you that he didn’t see a future with you and that he thinks that you deserve better than him, he can’t provide you with luxurious stuff that usually, other students are very capable of achieving.

𓃢 You wanted to argue that you weren’t a gold digger, and that you didn’t fall for him because of anything other than the fact that he’s… him. But Ruggie kept going, giving more and more reasons for you to leave, he was a bad guy, he could hurt you, he’s poor. You didn’t have the heart to stop him from his self-deprecating thoughts when he looked like he needed to spill all of it out.

𓃢 In the end, you agreed, realizing that Ruggie needed his space, and needed his time back, if you were out of the picture maybe he’ll finally get the rest that he needed.

𓃢 As an ex-boyfriend, he’s a 10/10, he’d treat you the same, except without any labels, you went back easy being his friend, even if you both had lingering feelings for each other. Maybe once he’s out of poverty, he’ll court you again, if you accept him.

Jack: You break up first

𓃠 Jack as a boyfriend is like Trey, they’re both major green flags, so what is there to break up about? Especially when Jack believes heavily that people, at least his species, only loves once. When he realizes that he’s falling for you, he didn’t outright say it at first when he found out about it. Taking his time in reflecting whether the feelings he’s experiencing is just closeness akin to friendship, or did he really want you to be his lover?

𓃠 After a few months of contemplating, he finally found the answer. He truly sees you as someone he wants to be with and introduce his family to. So he confessed, he was only slightly expecting that you’d say yes to his proposal, and that sliver of hope blossomed when you agreed to trying to have a date!

𓃠 This relationship blossomed quite slowly, with Jack prioritizing individuality often that he wasn’t the type to hover over you 24/7, you two could meet often or not, his feelings for you doesn’t change (Hide the fact that whenever he sees you, his tail wags so fast that it thumps on whatever surfaces he’s near)

𓃠 While you’re his first relationship, he knows how to navigate like a professional (only because his siblings often showed him romance movies) so expect some flowers, hand holding (even if he’s shy about it and totally uses the excuse that he didn’t want to lose you in such a crowd) and cuddling. Kissing makes him too flustered.

𓃠 Your lovelife with him was going great, until you started to feel like you didn’t deserve any of his pure love.

𓃠 Maybe it was you, but Jack’s love went from comforting to downright sickening. What made this drastic change? The bundle of fond memories you had, made you realize that you didn’t have any bad arguments with your lover, and whenever It does happen, he’s always quick to talk it out with you. Your friends said you’re lucky to have him, you truly are happy that you have him, but do you deserve it?

𓃠 Jack would notice it, he knew you had the tendency to be self-destructive, but he failed to realize the fact that it could range to this extent, you avoided him, and whenever he sees you, he tries to chase you down the hallway, and you’d tell him to leave you alone to think.

𓃠 He was confused and frustrated, overthinking If he had done something bad to you to react this way. He tried asking your friends, who became his friends too, if you’re doing alright, but even they have no clue.

𓃠 Sometimes he’d think if he should go to your dormitory whenever class ends but decides against it, thinking that you need some space, and always reassuring himself that you wouldn’t leave. You were just feeling a bit under the weather so maybe a breath of fresh air away from him would suffice. 

𓃠 But it went on… for days, he didn’t think before how dependent he was to you as his rest. It was starting to get obvious in the eyes of others that you two got into some fight, what they didn’t know was it was one sided, with you trying to fix your feelings that became sour out of nowhere.

𓃠 Even Leona was starting to get annoyed by Jack’s rampant circling around the Savanaclaw that he grabbed the junior’s shoulder and forced him to sit down on the floor. “What the hell is wrong with you?” he growled, glaring at the other.

𓃠 “I-“ he stopped himself, should he ask his housewarden for love advice? Was that appropriate? As if reading Jack’s face he sighs, “If this is about them, why don’t you personally ask them what’s up?”

𓃠 “Huh?” Jack looked dumbfounded before scratching the back of his neck, contemplating once again if that was alright. “I don’t want to bother them”

𓃠 “If you continue dragging along the problem in your relationship, it’ll leave nothing but a trail of bad memories” Leona says, crossing his arms. “So, if I were you, be a man and go visit them, they might need It more than you think.”

𓃠 Jack stares at his housewarden before nodding, standing up. “I’ll be right back,” he  says, turning around but stopping his track and turning around briefly, “Thank you sir” which Leona just grunts in response.

𓃠 Now Jack was rushing to your dormitory, arriving there with just less than 20 minutes. The knock made you snap out of your thoughts as you checked who it was, slightly opening it to meet with massive body blocking your entrance.

𓃠 “Jack?” you said, looking at him as you felt your heart drop, seeing him after awhile made you feel sick. “Hey” a short answer was the only thing he could muster as he backs away, realizing you looked pale.

𓃠 “Could we talk?” he asked, if you didn’t know him well, he would have sounded demanding, but you could hear the hint of desperation in his tone. But your emotions were in rage right now and you didn’t know if talking to him would help.

𓃠 “I don’t think-“

𓃠 “Please,” His expression softened, wanting you to see him not as a threat at all, he could observe your face, why are you looking at him like he’s a wolf about to pounce on you?

𓃠 Your sweat dropped as you open the door further. “Go ahead” it’s been a while since Jack went inside, the last time was two weeks ago, or was it more?

𓃠 Jack sat down as you sat on the opposite side, you looked like a mess, your hair disheveled, a blanket permanently wrapped around you as if it’s the only thing that could understand your pain. It made Jack beat himself up in his mind, realizing that he should have done this much earlier, then maybe you wouldn’t look like you’re having a field day with death itself.

𓃠 True to himself, he went straight to the point. “Why have you been avoiding me?” he asked, hands firmly on his lap as he stares into your eyes who you avoided. “Nothing, I didn’t feel like interacting with anyone. Which was not a lie, you barely talked with anyone, only the ghosts and Grim.

𓃠 “The truth” he said, pushing you further, he didn’t want to do it, but if he finds out the other reason, maybe he can help you fix it.

𓃠 “I told you, It’s nothing” you pushed as well, glaring at him,  both of your stubbornness ended up in a fight, with him minding his tone but still arguing while you…

𓃠 You seemed like you were about to explode. He didn’t know what he wanted to achieve, but if he riled you hard enough, you’ll tell him right?

𓃠 His plan succeeded when you slammed your hands on the table, blanket falling down to the chair you were sitting on.

𓃠 “I’m sick of you! You’re too good for me that even my friends had to shove the fact that you deserve so much better!”  Jack backed his face away out of surprise. Your expression went from angry to shocked as you covered your mouth.

𓃠 After a minute of silence, you tried to justify your words, but Jack slumps, sighing as he pushes his hair back. “Is that how you feel about me?” he asked, you wanted to deny it but it feels like your words got stuck in your throat.

𓃠 “I didn’t think you’d feel that way” he plants his hands back to his table. He almost looked relieved, but you were too worked up to think if that was because you finally told him the truth. “We can break up, if that’s what you want” he adds as he looks at your state. “But only when you get a hold of yourself. I’ll stay out of your tail and once you’re stable enough, we’ll talk if you wanna continue our relationship.”

𓃠 As an ex-boyfriend, he’s also a 10/10, he respected your wishes for some time to think it through, he even gave you advice on how to handle yourself better, if your feelings for him continued to stray that way, he’s fine if you wish to cut contact, although it hurts like hell for him, he also knew that you were suffering as well. He didn’t want to prolong it and completely destroy your relationship just because he wished that you stayed with him. He values independence, and right now, he thinks that’s what you needed.

[shangsclaws]

For your alphabet prompt list :) can I request b and v for bi-ham

don't u just love this grumpy little ice man

𝑩𝑰 𝑯𝑨𝑵

B - Beg: How would they try to win their s/o back?

Regardless of the circumstances behind the breakup, there is one thing that's for certain: Bi Han will have become awfully distant with his ex partner. His attempts at getting you back will thus feel as alarming as running hot water on cold, frostbitten hands.

His initial gestures are small but significant: sheepishly offering your favourite tea on cold mornings, muttering his hellos when he often used to pass you in complete silence, and catching him staring as you train before turning away and frowning.

He's not like this because he's shy, but because not only is he too proud to outwardly admit that he misses you, he's also full aware that he might not be able to express this in words. Bi Han hopes that these brief moments of gentleness can speak for themselves -- that he wants so badly to be vulnerable with you again.

V - Violence: How do they react when their s/o is threatened/put in danger?

Bi Han's no stranger to this: someone threatens one of his clan members and he doesn't bat an eye, knowing damn well he's trained his people well enough to fend for themselves. But to threaten you? The grandmaster becomes stubborn and damn near unreasonable, assigning practically half his clan to behead whoever put you in danger.

Bi Han is so on edge his callous behaviour starts to rub off on his own subordinates, too. And this demeanour doesn't return back to normal even when you're in his arms safe and sound -- Bi Han must have your aggressor's blood on his hands before he can rest easy.

"Who did this to you?!" snarled the grandmaster, holding your chin and tilting your face to his gaze, his touch surprisingly gentle despite the fury in his eyes. "If I have to tear the realms apart to find them, I will."

➴  𝑴𝑨𝑺𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻

[autumnrory]

do people ever think that rory has certain expectations about crushes and relationships because her first boyfriend is so obsessed with her and instead of being viewed as unhealthy everyone tells her it's just being so devoted and loyal etc and she thinks it's supposed to be like that because that's the only frame of reference she has LIKE she knows dean for four+ years and he NEVER stops being obsessed with her so of course she thinks jess will be waiting for her to figure things out (and he himself says "like dean would've done") and of course she thinks jess will call regularly because she's used to dean who calls 14 times in a day and she thinks jess will be reliable and show up when expected because she's used to dean always coming around even when he has not been asked (or explicitly asked not to as in 2x16)

like to be clear rory doesn't even have high expectations here lol like unfortunately for a variety of reasons and with lack of communication jess seems like he's at the opposite end of the dean spectrum because he's in some ways more lowkey in his affection and he does not have many true connections with other people so ofc he doesn't really know how to do things "right" in a romantic relationship and like basically rory feels like she's gone from one extreme (even if it's not acknowledged as such by rory or anyone around her) to another (even though despite his mistakes jess is much closer to a normal boyfriend throughout their relationship than dean) so like she never really got to adjust to a completely different vibe. remember when she was so sure jess would be mad at her for being friends with dean because she's so used to being screamed at for such things?

or even like with the affair. like i do maintain rory does have some responsibility as does anyone who knowingly gets involved with someone in a relationship, BUT overall not that much compared to some situations because dean lied and manipulated her. and so like her bratty response is very un-rory like imo because much as fandom likes to say she's a spoiled brat she virtually never acts like that any other time. but again she says "he's my dean" because as i said he has never stopped being obsessed with her, he literally became friends with her again after the breakup with the hopes that he would get between her and jess just like jess got between her and dean. in part she thinks of him as hers because she wants to justify this horrible thing to lorelai and herself but also....dean never let go of that relationship, he never moved on, he proposed to lindsay immediately after fighting jess, he drunkenly moped over her the night before his wedding to lindsay like! rory who had been abandoned by jess, who she arguably had a much more intense love for, sees dean who is still "there for her" and still wants to pursue her in spite of their circumstances and thinks that's how it's supposed to be. if even one person had told her dean's behavior was wrong, she might've given the relationship a second look, but that never happened, so she never got to realize it's the opposite of what a relationship is supposed to be

[monstermoviedean]

the rupture is both their faults, actually, and i'm going to yell about it now

here's the thing. the breakup scene in 15x03 once again starts on cas' terms, same as the argument in 15x02. dean has just gotten done wrapping up the ghost business by checking in with stevie, then he checks in with sam and tries to console him about losing rowena. then he goes to pour himself a drink, and that's when cas shows up and starts the conversation. i can't gauge his intention here, but his actions back dean into a corner. even if dean doesn't want to have this conversation for very good reasons, cas is going to make it happen.

consider that dean doesn't know what went down in the crypt. he has absolutely no clue what happened between cas and belphegor. cas has given him almost no detail about what happened. here's what dean knows at the start of this: cas killed belphegor, and the crook was destroyed. that's it. cas reveals during this conversation that it's because belphegor was lying, using them, and planning to suck up all the souls, which is why "the plan changed."

coupla things here. one. someone lying to dean, using him, and then sucking up a bunch of souls to get power and become a new god? yeah, dean has seen that before. that is beat-for-beat what cas did in season 6. i don't think that's lost on dean. i think he's remembering right then and there how he stuck up for cas then, how he refused to believe cas could have betrayed them when everyone else had given up on cas already. and how he was wrong. not to mention what followed.

that brings us to chuck. i cannot overstate the importance of the chuck reveal as context here. dean is questioning literally everything about his life. that includes cas. chuck pulling the strings could mean chuck is pulling cas' strings too. dean is wrong about this - he's being very paranoid and it's not good for him or anyone. but it also makes sense in context because the context is horror after horror after horror.

and that brings us to mary (and jack, and ketch, and rowena). are any of these deaths cas' fault? nope! but dean can trace all these deaths back to cas breaking the trust between them by not talking about his concerns about jack. dean feels that cas has broken the trust between them, and even though it's unfair to blame cas for this whole situation, it's perfectly fair for dean to feel betrayed on some level.

snapping at cas in the moment is not kind and not fair. under (relatively) normal circumstances, dean would quickly and sincerely apologize. but right now he's at his breaking point. and i can see why he's sick of extending trust and getting burned.

now cas' response. "you used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt." it's true! but cas isn't recognizing that his actions affect this trust. cas is not automatically entitled to dean's trust. trust is earned, and it needs to be reciprocal. cas also needs to trust dean, and dean is wondering if cas does trust him if he didn't trust him enough to tell him about jack. we know cas trusts dean, but dean doesn't necessarily know that, especially when his faith in everything is at an all-time low. but in spite of that, cas is placing the burden here on dean, blaming dean for not granting cas his trust and the benefit of the doubt. i don't think that's especially fair either.

then he brings up his powers failing - it's an odd segue because they haven't really talked about this. this has not been made clear to dean or to the audience. then it's about dean not talking to him. can this be chalked up to lingering resentments from season 14? maybe? because if cas is talking about trying to talk to dean over and over in season 15, we only have two examples. 15x01, dean asks if cas is okay and when cas answers, dean ends the conversation. dean starts this conversation so it's not a great example of cas "trying to talk about it." and then 15x02, where cas corners dean and starts talking - just like this conversation in 15x03.

i'm not saying that if someone talks to dean when he doesn't want to have a talk, that all bets are off and dean can do whatever he wants. nope, not at all. but it's been a pattern for the last few seasons at least that dean avoids a conversation he's not able to handle -> someone else decides they need to have the conversation -> they force dean into it -> dean either walks away, beginning this cycle over, or he expresses upset, which makes him look like the bad guy.

"you don't want to hear it" may be fair. but "you don't care" is absolutely not fair. the problem is that dean cares too much and it's choking him. he's lost almost everyone. he is not able to bear it. he's retreating because he can't bear it, and then cas is accusing him of not caring at all at the first sign of dean not bending over backwards to care for cas. (as stated above, he is actively caring for sam, and everyone else he usually would care for is dead. so this is about cas)

finally, cas leaves when dean doesn't immediately apologize and talk to him and say he trusts and believes in him. cas turns and walks away. he has every right to do that, but he is an independent person with autonomy and he is making this choice. dean contributed to cas making this choice, but he's not solely responsible for it.

let's say their relationship is a bridge over a chasm. this is not a case of dean burning the bridge, though you can read it that way if you want to believe dean is at fault for everything. this is dean and cas retreating to their own sides of the chasm rather than meeting on the bridge. dean is very often the one to walk out on that bridge. this is one of the only times he doesn't, and cas takes that as a personal betrayal. but cas isn't walking out onto the bridge either.

[k-nayee]

Ghost Town BNHA

wc: 2.8k a/n: Song Inspiration: Ghost Town by Benson Boone; recommend you listen while reading!!

Traveler M.List

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

You fill me up 'til you're empty...

The late afternoon sun casted a warmth over school grounds as you chatted with  Uraraka and Midoriya.

It was nice as the three of you walked together; even the greenette, who usually had a hard time speaking to girls, laughed along with your teasing comments.

Bakugo stood a little ways off, watching. His crimson eyes were sharp with a certain tension in his expression that hadn’t been there earlier that day.

Normally he would’ve made some snide comment by now, especially seeing you standing so close to the timid boy.

But today, Bakugo wasn’t himself.

He approached you in deliberate strides, his jaw set. You noticed the way his hands were shoved deep into his pockets, almost as if he was holding himself back.

As he neared, you felt a flicker of something—nervousness? Excitement?—you couldn’t quite place it. Bakugo always had a way of stirring something inside you, no matter the circumstance.

“Oi,” he barked, voice unusually serious. “We need to talk.”

I took too much and you let me...

Conversation around you fizzled as Uraraka and Midoriya exchanged confused glances. You, too, blinked in surprise. Normally, Bakugo wasn’t this direct—not with you, anyway.

He was blunt, sure, but not like this. There was a hardness to his tone, an edge that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

You smiled, trying to keep things light. “What’s up, Katsuki?”

He didn’t respond, his eyes flickering to the duo. You take the hint and turn to the pair, giving them a quick wave. “I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

As your friends walked away the air between you and Bakugo thickened. He turned abruptly, heading toward the school building without a word, leaving you no choice but to follow.

When you reached an empty classroom, you slip inside, Bakugo shutting the door behind with a soft click. The familiar scent of chalk and old textbooks filled the space, but it did nothing to ease the growing tension.

He didn’t say anything at first. Just stood there with his hands still in his pockets, gaze fixed on a spot on the floor. His usual gruffness was gone—replaced by something much colder, much more distant.

We’ve been down all these roads before...

You watched him, waiting, hoping that he would explain whatever was weighing him down.

“Katsuki?” you step closer, voice soft. You offer him a bright smile, the kind that usually softened his rough edges.

But today, it didn’t reach him. He barely looked at you.

A sinking feeling began to settle in your chest. “Is something wrong?”

The silence hung between you like a heavy curtain. You reached out, your fingers just grazing his sleev—

“I want to break up.”

And what we found don’t live there anymore...

You took a step back, feeling as if his words had physically struck you. Your heart pounded in your chest until it echoed in your ears, drowning out the silence that had fallen between you.

“…What?” The word barely escaped your lips, a fragile whisper as your mind struggled to comprehend what he’d just said.

It didn’t make sense. Nothing about this made sense.

Bakugo’s jaw clenched, and for a fleeting moment, his crimson eyes met yours. He stiffened at the sight of you—vulnerable, confused.

Your brows furrowed in pain, your lips pressed together in an attempt to hold back the hurt. Seeing you like this made something inside him twist sharply.

But just as quickly, he tore his gaze away, refusing to let you see the storm raging inside him. 

“This,” he said, gesturing between the two of you with a sharp wave of his hand, “only happened out of obligation.”

Obligation...

The word hit you harder than the breakup itself.

He continued, his tone bitter.  “You know how the old hag was. Always on my ass, hounding me to give you a chance.”

It's dark...

Your mind reeled. You met Bakugo in middle school and from that moment you’d been drawn to him.

He was rough and brash with a fire that burned everything he did, and that only made you more determined to get close to him.

Your crush had been obvious, but you never shied away from it. You pursued him with a confidence that even now looking back you admired.

And yes, Bakugo had been difficult—dishing out the usual sharp remarks, disrespect dripping from every word. But still, you never backed down.

You tolerated it—not out of weakness, but because you refused to be intimidated by him.

You met his fire with your own; challenging him and pushing back, not afraid to give him the same energy he threw at the world.

It's cold...

At first you were just an affectionate annoyance to him. Always hanging around, always inserting yourself into his space. But with time, you grew on him—though he’d never admit it.

You became a part of his life, slipping past the walls he put up around everyone. He never asked for it, but he came to expect your presence—to crave it in ways he didn’t understand.

And now, standing in this empty classroom you could barely recognize him.

For a moment your voice felt lost. The Bakugo in front of you—saying these words and shutting himself off—was a stranger.

Something inside you knew he was lying. He had to be.

“…You’re lying.” Your voice came out weak, trembling.

The silence that followed was suffocating. Your words hung in the air fragile, and you weren’t sure if you were trying to convince him or yourself.

But you knew Bakugo. He was a lot of things—angry, hotheaded, unpredictable—but he wasn’t a liar. Not to you.

If my hand is not the one you're meant to hold...

You searched his face for any hint of truth, any crack in his exterior. But his expression was hard, closed off in a way you hadn’t seen in so long.

“I’m not, and you know it!” His voice was sharp, louder than before with anger lacing every word.

His lips press into a thin line as his teeth into the flesh to keep the words trapped inside—the sorrys, the desperate apologies. Taking one last look at your face, he turns away with a scoff.

His chest tightened as he try to hold back the wave of guilt that threatened to swallow him whole.

But he couldn’t let it out. If he did, it’d be over. He wouldn’t be able to do this.

Wouldn’t be able to let you go.

"You are!" Your voice cut through the silence more sure this time. He could hear the determined steps you took toward him, the confidence in your voice making it even harder to breathe.

You were close now, close enough that he could feel your warmth even though he kept his back to you. He didn’t dare turn around.

"Tell me you don’t love me if you’re serious." You dared him, forcing him to confront the truth you already knew. "Because the Katsuki I know will tell me the truth, because he isn’t afraid of the consequences."

You know I'll stay don't you tempt me...

The words echoed in his mind, bouncing off the walls he had built around himself. And for a second, just a second, Bakugo faltered.

His resolve wavered at the sound of your belief in him—a belief he didn’t deserve, not after everything he was about to do.

Your confidence made his head spin, made the words in his throat turn to ash.

But no matter how much your voice reached out to him the doubt gnawed at him. The weight of every fear and insecurity clawing at the edges of his mind.

Do it, the voice whispered. You don’t deserve her. She deserves better, someone who can give her the kind of love you can’t.

The voice grew louder, drowning out everything else. They took root in his mind; poisoning every thought and emotion until all he could feel was the crushing weight of his own incompetence.

But all this weight is getting heavy...

"You want the truth?” Before he could stop himself the words ripped from his throat.

Turning around to face you with a vicious glare, his voice was laced with venom. “I can’t keep letting an extra like you drag me down!"

The second the words left his mouth the air between you seemed to freeze. Your footsteps, even the sound of your breathing—it all stopped.

The world felt like it had come to a standstill.

Bakugo's heart hammered in his chest as he forced himself to keep going. "You're not even in the hero course!"

Though meant to hurt and push you away, as soon as they left his mouth, he felt a sickening twist in his gut. Still he couldn’t stop. He had to finish this.

“Keep following me around like a pathetic dog. I will be Number One, and I refuse to have any baggage slowing me down!" His voice rose, louder and harsher than he meant.

Every syllable spoken was coated in venom, cutting deeper and deeper with each passing second. And then—silence.

Been holding up what wasn't meant to stand...

No words. No movement. Just...nothing.

Bakugo grit his teeth, jaw tight as he waited—waited for you to scream, to lash out, to fight back like you always did. But nothing came.

The silence stretched on, wrapping around him like chains, pulling him down deeper into the pit he had dug for himself.

Then, came the sound of your sniffles. Soft and faint, the sound of your heart breaking. For years, you always worried that you weren’t good enough for Bakugo.

You didn’t have the flashy, powerful quirk that the others did. Hell, you weren’t even in the hero course! You were just a simple General Studies student.

That insecurity had haunted you for as long as you could remember. It always lingered in the back of your mind, whispering doubts whenever you saw Bakugo training, pushing himself harder than anyone else.

And it had only gotten worse when you started dating him. You couldn’t help but wonder if people looked at you and thought, How could someone like her ever deserve him?

I turned this love into a wasteland...

But Bakugo had always been there to shut those thoughts down. Harshly. Brutally. He never let you get away with doubting yourself, always snapping at you for thinking so low of yourself.

His scolding had been tough, unrelenting, but it was his way of caring—his way of showing you that he believed in you, even when you didn’t believe in yourself.

And now...he was throwing all of that in your face.

His words cut deeper than you ever thought they could. He was attacking the very thing he had always defended you against.

The thing he had never let you believe about yourself. You weren’t in the hero course. You didn’t have a strong quirk. You weren’t like him.

Maybe you never would be.

The weight of his words pressed down on you, making your chest tight and throat constrict. You were so overwhelmed, so hurt, that you didn’t even notice one crucial thing.

He never said it.

Bakugo never said, “I don’t love you.”

But in your frantic state, your mind couldn’t latch onto that detail. Instead, it spiraled; twisting in on itself, unraveling every belief you’d ever held about his love for you.

Before I turn your heart into a ghost town...

Was everything he ever told you a lie? Was this how he truly felt all along?

'Was I just fooling myself this whole time?'

The thoughts came at you fast like a storm. Everything you thought was real—every tender moment, every quiet confession, every time Bakugo had pulled you close, even if he didn’t say the words outright—it all felt like it was shattering into pieces in front of you.

It was all too much. You couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t be here in this moment.

Not with him, not with those venomous words still hanging in the air between you.

Your vision blurred and you could feel your heart pounding wildly in your chest, threatening to tear you apart from the inside.

Panic set in. You couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think straight. Every part of you screamed to get out, to run, to escape.

'I can’t let him see me like this. I can’t...'

Before you knew it your hand was on the door, slamming it open with a force that rattled the frame.

Show me everything we built so I can tear it all down...

The sound echoed through the empty halls as you bolted, your sobs finally breaking free from your lips.

The world outside the classroom was a blur. Your tears streamed freely now, hot and stinging against your cheeks. You didn’t care who saw you.

You just needed to get away, to be anywhere but here. Suddenly, your shoulder slammed into something—someone—knocking you off balance.

You gasped, the impact jarring you out of your spiral for a split second.

Your eyes barely registered the green hair before you stammered out a tearful, jumbled, "S-sorry!" Your voice cracked by the sobs that you couldn’t control.

Down...

Down, down, down...

Izuku stumbled back wide-eyed in shock, his hand instinctively reaching out to steady you. But before he could ask what was wrong, you were already gone.

His fingers brushed the air where you had just been, mouth opened as if to call after you, but the words never came.

He watched helplessly as you disappeared down the hallway, your sobs echoing behind you like the remnants of a broken heart.

His hand hovered in the air for a moment longer, his brows furrowing in concern. “Wha...?”

His gaze flickered to where you had come from, the half-open door to the classroom still swinging slightly from your frantic exit.

What the hell just happened?

With a sinking feeling in his chest Izuku slowly approached the classroom door. Peering through the half-open door, he froze.

Tear it all down...

Inside the empty classroom stood Bakugo. The blonde had his back to the door as stared out the window.

Izuku had known Bakugo for a long time. He’d seen him angry, frustrated, ready to explode at a moment’s notice. But this...this was different.

This time he was silent. Completely and utterly still.

“Kacchan?” Izuku’s voice was hesitant, quiet, as if he were afraid to break the silence.

Not receiving an answer, the freckled greenette took a cautious step into the room, one foot out just in case he needed to make a quick escape. “Why was ____ crying? Is everything al—”

“Izuku.”

Izuku’s words died in his throat as his eyes widened in shock. His name. Bakugo never called him by his real name. Ever.

Not unless something was really, really wrong.

Down...

“Y-Yeah?” Izuku stammered. He took another step forward, but he froze again when Bakugo finally turned around.

Heart-broken, teary vermillion eyes are the first thing he sees.

His face was twisted, lips trembling as if he were desperately trying to hold everything in. The raw emotion on his face—the vulnerability—was something Izuku had never seen before.

It was like looking at a stranger.

“Kacchan...” Izuku’s voice was barely a whisper. For a long moment, the two boys just stood there staring at each other in silence.

Izuku was in disbelief at the sight of Bakugo. His childhood friend, his rival, the one person he had always thought was untouchable—completely crumbling before him.

But the more time passed, the more Bakugo’s carefully constructed façade began to shatter. And then, with a strangled yell Bakugo folded in on himself.

His body shook violently as he hunched forward, arms wrapping around his middle as if he could physically hold himself together.

But it was no use. The dam had broken.

Down, down, down...

Izuku’s heart lurched in his chest, legs moving before his brain could even process what was happening. He rushed forward, catching Bakugo just as the blonde collapsed from the weight of his own emotions.

“K-Kacchan—Bakugo!” Izuku’s voice was panicked, his arms holding the teen to steady him, though he barely knew what to do. “What’s going on? What happened?”

Bakugo wasn’t supposed to break like this. He wasn’t supposed to fall apart. He was strong. Stronger than anyone.

And yet, here he was: trembling violently, sobbing uncontrollably in Izuku’s arms.

“I… I had to…” Bakugo choked out between gasping, shuddering breaths. His voice was barely recognizable, thick with pain and regret.

His hands clutched desperately at Izuku’s arms, as if they were the only thing keeping him grounded. “I had to do it… I had to…”

Izuku tightened his grip, his mind racing as he tried to process what Bakugo was saying. “Had to? Had to do what?” he asked, his voice shaking as he looked down at Bakugo’s tear-streaked face, alarm written all over his features.

He’d never seen Bakugo like this—no one did.

Bakugo’s head fell forward, his messy blond hair shadowing his eyes as he gripped Izuku’s arms harder. “I had to let her go,” Bakugo rasped, his voice breaking as fresh tears spilled down his cheeks.

“...I had to.”

I'll tear it all down...

[zombee]

I feel like the luckiest Our Flag Means Death fan in the world after the season 2 finale. By a series of incredible circumstances - including a significant metatextual realization that came in at the 11th hour - it was close to perfect for me.

This essay has everything. Completely normal behavior over a television series. Steven Universe references. The David Jenkins School of Whatever is Best for the Bit. Humbling catharsis.

First: this piece does not exist with the central thesis of “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad.” I feel like thousands of words have already been written on this since Thursday, so I’m going to try to not get too in depth on that.

Second, cards on the table, because it’s relevant and I don’t want to waste your time if this is going to sour your ability to hear me out: I’m an Izzy Canyon hater. For MANY reasons, but from way before the concept of the Canyon existed, (some) Izzy fans pinged me in the same way as Snape/Kylo Ren fans did, and before May 2022 was over I went from genuinely enjoying Izzy’s character and place in the narrative to hating him because his fans made it impossible for me to enjoy him anymore.

(SOME! of his fans. Please don’t keep making me say this, although I’m not going to talk about the Canyon directly anymore after this. I know there are a ton of normal Izzy Enjoyers and even Canyonites, I am literally friends with many of them, please take this all in the good faith it’s intended and if you’re not One Of The Bad Ones then you’re fine! I very carefully don’t go anti-Izzy on main, and when I stopped enjoying his character, I stopped writing him into fics. I’m not trying to be a dick, I just want to be honest. Anyway.)

The season 2 finale made me weep over Izzy Goddamn hands.

ALL season long, I was disgruntled. All season long. I really, truly, DEEPLY appreciated what they were doing with his character and arc, I thought it was wildly on brand for the themes of community/queerness in the show, I saw the vision, I liked it!!! But. I wanted a fucking apology, yall. I needed three seconds of “sorry I called you a slur, Ed :/” and that would have been enough. But I had to let it go. It was poisoning my enjoyment of the whole season, which I loved with very little exception (not none!) and I just had to let it go. I wasn’t getting an apology. That didn’t negate what they were doing with his character.

Yall. They withheld the apology on purpose.

THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!

Let’s go back a bit. I was at the episode 6 + 7 screening, and the breakup shook me. Probably a LOT more than if I had watched it alone in bed at 3am on my laptop - five days of no sleep after NYCC, lots of emotions, seeing it on a big screen with a hundred other intense fans, etc etc - but I did see other folks reacting in parallel ways to me when the episodes aired to the regular public, so maybe I would have felt the same way. Regardless, I was mad at Stede and to a lesser extent Ed. I NEEDED AN APOLOGY FOR THAT FISH LINE. I needed it! “Whativah” autocorrects to “WHATIVAH” in my phone. I was going through it.

(When I rewatched the episode when it aired it was not nearly as bad as I remember, lol)

So now the episode 8 screeners go out and the reviews drop and I think I catch one half-glimpse of a “What a heartbreaking ending!” kind of snippet, and some of my friends who are spoiler fiends unintentionally drop little hints about similar ideas (devastating/heartbreaking/split the fandom) type shit.

And I was a fucking WRECK! about it.

I do love this whole show with my whole chest. I do!!! But I’m not rotted because this is an excellent television show, I’m rotted because two old men kiss each other! On the MOUTH!!! in an excellent television show. You get it, right? I’ve written 700,000 words across almost 100 fics and 98% of them are dedicated to those two men falling in love in different universes. 

So it just did not even occur to me the “heartbreak/devastation/fandom split” would be about anything but Gentlebeard.

Another piece of this that was fucking me up - David Jenkins and his “satisfactory” ending biz. My brain was reacting like this show was ENDING ending, even if I knew logically! that this is just season 2!!! And I wasn’t ready for that, because what if it wasn’t personally satisfying, and I’m a mess about it? Why was I so worried about not liking it? I’d liked the whole season! Even if they didn’t nail the landing I wasn’t going to stop writing fic or hanging out with my pirate community & friends. 

…is what I kept trying to tell myself, but the way anxiety disorders work is funny like that lol. What if I did stop writing fic and hanging out in pirate spaces? That would hurt much more than a show I like disappointing me. And for anyone who’s having that experience with ofmd s2, I’m so very, very sorry. It sucks and that’s where my epiphany came from on Wednesday before the finale.

Because it has happened to me before.

I flit from hyperfocus to hyperfocus, as ya do when you’re spicy, but the last thing to get its hooks in me PROPERLY like pirates was Steven Universe. And I did NOT like the way the regular season ended!!! (I actually really did like most of Future; that’s not what I mean. I mean season 5). I don’t like how they handled the Diamonds, tldr; I think the scope of their villainy got too out of hand, and I was left grieving the thing that had meant enough to me I ran a fan convention for four years based around it. 

Side note: imagine if I had channeled the hyperfocus of almost a million words of fanfiction into an American OFMD con instead. We could have made magic :( I did consult with Our Con Means Death though so I am at least a teeny tiny bit of that one!

I did not like the way Steven ended… but I do respect the story they were telling and think they told it well.

I’m still sad about it. Steven is still one of my most beloved, it will always be beautiful and great to me, but that experience did and does sully my memories. There is so, so, so, SO much more good than bad from being in that fandom, and I cherish it. And I hope, if you’re having this experience with OFMD right now, that you’ll find similar comfort.

But, like I said at the top, “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad” has been belabored already by people better at writing about it than me. I just had the incredible privilege to remember my brush with lower case T trauma and having that experience in my last REALLY big deal fandom. That’s why I had been so extra anxious about being disappointed. Because it happened to me before. It helped so much to connect those two.

So the finale happens, and it’s actually about twelve hours of me going from “eh, rushed but fun, whole season was great” to “THIS MAYBE IS THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME, ACTUALLY!”

BECAUSE THIS SHOW MADE ME CRY OVER IZZY FUCKING HANDS!!!!

They literally told me this was the story they were telling this season. “Men can change” “The end  of piracy” “Ed leaving Blackbeard behind (ish).”

As for me? I didn’t get an apology for the fish. Instead, I got “Sorry I was a dick.” “You weren’t a dick. Life’s a dick.”

Just… fuckity BAM. THREE FUCKING SENTENCES resolving that fight. Saying so much in so little.

In real life, should these two men have an actual conversation about this shit? Sure!!! But that’s not how OFMD tells its stories!

It works in symbolism. It works in vibes. It works in an hour’s worth of content into each half-hour episode, and for how much lamenting I have done about the pacing, I would prefer that 100x to having to stretch it out too much.

I have said since March 24, 2022 that OFMD wields anachronism as a weapon. First and foremost, it’s fucking funny, but in addition to that, it’s stating clearly: “This is a fantasy world. This is not real history. This show is about romance (and so much more than that), and the rest is just VIBES!!!”

Sometimes vibes can be historical accuracy. Sometimes vibes can be true emotional poignancy. Sometimes vibes can be Ed finding his sunken leathers in the sea, changing underwater somehow, and coming out of the ocean like the Birth of Fucking Venus, because water and rebirth and mermaids and shit is all very prominent this season. And ALSO, and this is very important! BECAUSE IT LOOKS FUCKING COOL!

I don’t want to do much real Izzy meta here. It’s been said by others, and better than me. But it was telegraphed and it was symbolic – he was the paragon of Traditional Piracy in season 1, for goodness’ sake, and Traditional Piracy is Toxic Masculinity, and he was a part of Blackbeard and Ed had to leave Blackbeard behind (yknow, ish), and he got this ABSOLUTLEY FUCKING LOVELY! storyline about appreciating what a (queer) community can do, and god fucking shit fucking dammit… most of all, best of all (for me), was Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave at the end. Men can change. And Izzy DID!!! He did it for Ed. For love. For community. I am puzzled by “it’s fucked up to use Izzy to further Ed’s storyline” because… this was Ed’s season, in the way that season 1 was Stede’s. And Ed cannot be removed from piracy as a whole (neither can Stede!) so to have this old, set in his ways, coded-queerphobic character blossom to the point he can give this gift to Ed and to piracy… idk man. I just find it so fucking beautiful.

It is okay not to like what they did. It’s okay!!! It’s okay, and it’s okay to mourn, and while it’s not okay to do [insert vile behavior here], it’s okay to carefully examine what you think is “bad writing” vs “what you would have preferred to happen” and give good-faith, textually-based criticism on that.

But I want to remind you over and over and over again, this show works on vibes. It tells its stories leaving many, many, many gaps. There are many things I would have liked to see, and y’know what? I would have told the Izzy story differently. I would have personally done it differently. But it’s not my show! It’s not my show, and I am humbled and delighted to remember that, and to appreciate Our Flag Means Death for what it is and not what it isn’t.

Other words have been written better than I could about the 18 months between seasons 1 and 2 and what that does to us as rabid fans with expectations of how things will go. Millions and millions and millions of words have been written about OFMD, fictional and non, and that is going to color our expectations and experience. We had built it up SO MUCH in our minds and along the way I think some of us forgot (INCLUDING ME!!!) that it is first and foremost about Vibes.

The vibes of Izzy’s death are about rebirth and forgiveness and leaving traditional piracy behind. And he got to die in Ed’s arms, knowing (HAPPILY!) that he had been wrong, and giving Ed the gift of letting him know he is loved, and being a part of something. We had a funeral but we also had a wedding. The only constant is change. Men, piracy, Blackbeard; it all changes. And Izzy found peace in that.

Before my last point, I want to @ myself on things I felt versus realizing in the end it is (I will say it until I’m blue in the face) about vibes.

· I was convinced they left Buttons’ transformation ambiguous because they wanted to leave room for it not having been real. NO!!! It is real, until they decided it isn’t. Magic in the OFMD universe? Fucking why not!!! IT’S SYMBOLIC!!! IT’S IMPORTANT TO ED’S STORYLINE AND THE CENTRAL THESES OF THE SHOW!

· I was unhappy, and still am a little, about the Polycule Situation, but now that I realize Oluwande is Zheng’s Stede… I am less so. The Zheng : Auntie :: Ed : Izzy vibes, btw? Fuckin immaculate.

·        Obviously they touched on Stede/Ed’s “killing people trauma” but I’d reallyyyy like Stede to address it, and even though I think Ed’s is left on a very satisfying note, I’d like him to dip a bit more into it as well. But if they don’t, oh well! It’s not like they ignored it, they just didn’t have a Deep Dive like I Wanted Them To!

· They didn’t deal with Ed throwing Stede’s shit away. They just ignored it! Stede started to collect new trinkets, and I believe that was as much about giving the audience back the old feeling of the Revenge as it was anything important (not to say it wasn’t also important thematically!!!). Just like Ed going back to his leathers is both Extremely Important thematically and about putting Taika back in the leathers because that’s what Blackbeard should be wearing for the epic final scenes for the sake of visually keeping the show consistent. That’s Blackbeard’s uniform.

· Stede’s frilly little outfits my beloved. God I hope they give him back some of his frippery in season 3. I think they will re: cursed suit BUT his journey this season was about something else, so!

· Ed’s stupid little non-profit non-apology, oh my god. It was so funny. And there is a transition from eps 5 to 6 where Ed is back in his leathers and the crew is more comfortable around him. They didn’t have to have him do a Real Apology, it’s implied it was all settled. What was the timeline? A day? DOESN’T MATTER, BABY, VIBES!!!

· Lots more, I’m sure, but now that I’ve tried to let it all go, I’m remembering less of what I wanted and appreciating what I got!

And, last point here, I think it is also very very very important to remember that a lot of people are normal about this show. In fact, WAY more people are normal about this show than aren’t. And that is EXTREMELY! IMPORTANT!!! because otherwise it wouldn’t be profitable and we all know what would happen then. We are the core of it, to be sure. Without word of mouth that stems from our intensity, this show would not be NEARLY as successful as it is. I truly, truly believe that.

But.

Do normies need deeply emotional discussions dissecting the central relationships? No. What normies need is Ed and Stede running dramatically toward each other on the beach and kissing. And I am happy, so fucking happy, to realize that’s what I need too. I’ve got fanworks for the rest.

I love this fucking show and this fucking fandom and its fucking creators so much. Fuck.

[xjulixred45x]

Big Bro Gojo! Reader find out about Megumi and Tsumiki. Ft Kugisaki and Itadori!

This part is pretty long!

First part for context

first of all, thanks to @shootinglove14 for giving me the idea for this adorable drabble, thanks sweetie!

Now, moving on to the topic, I think Big Bro Reader would know about Megumi's existence shortly after he has his talk with Satoru (after the breakup of KFC) and confesses that, that Touji told him that he had a son, as if He would wait for his brother to tell him what he should do. Big Bro at first, I'm not going to lie, is too angry at Touji for almost killing his little brother to think clearly, so he tells him to do what he thinks is right.

which in Satoru's mind translated to: "do what your brother would have done" and knowing that under normal circumstances Big Bro Reader would not hesitate to take in a child in need (ESPECIALLY if Big Bro already has children of his own) Satoru He decides that he will do the same.

so, he goes to get Megumi (and additionally Tsumiki), takes them with him and introduces them to his older brother as the children he had been telling them about :D (completely ignoring the fact that he warned him with, like, 5 minutes of before they arrived and that it was supposed to be just ONE SON)

but as soon as Big Bro Reader sees them, any kind of dislike towards Touji or resentment IS CRUSHED and replaced with pity when he sees how small they are, he very much regrets having thought the way he did when he saw how they lived, and begins to treat them like his normal friendly self, almost like his own children.

As Megumi and Tsumiki grow up, Big Bro reader is a very important figure in their lives, mainly because he has the tact that Satoru doesn't have, he is cuddly without being annoying, he is much more respectful, how could they not love him? especially in the case of Megumi, who tries to help him with his abandonment issues.

With Tsumiki he becomes close through things like housework, Reader is a deconstructed man, he helps his wife and Tsumiki in everything he can😤 and even teaches her some tricks that he has learned in the Gojo house (cooking, laundry, embroidery, self-defense, the man is a box of surprises).

overall Tsumiki sees her friendly personality supported by someone like Big Bro reader who is almost the same. She sees him as a great man and definitely a good example of a man, father and husband.

Megumi, as I already said, likes Big Bro Reader more in the sense that he has much more tact and respect for what others say, that already gives him many points, but he also gets attached very quickly to him because of how good he is. general that he is, but he doesn't take shit from anyone. Big Bro reader will be gentle, yes, but he can't stand disrespect and is definitely someone who can hold a grudge, can empathize with it.

but Big Bro's fatherly and uninterested attitude was definitely what made him love him so much, they can bond through things like board games, Big Bro teaches him how to be a gentleman, go out to parks together with the Divine dogs, teach them Gojo clan techniques, etc.

By the time they grow up, they see Big Bro Reader as a kind of secondary father, but if Big Bro already has children, they will be their guardians and help Reader take care of them. when Tsumiki happens, Reader is the FIRST to run to the hospital and comfort Megumi, he is the one who occasionally prepares her a homemade lunch for school, he is the one who Megumi goes to visit when she has the opportunity (aside from Tsumiki) to tell him of his day.

Big Bro reader is one of the few people (if not the only one) who feels like he will never abandon him, and gives him a genuine and warm feeling of security that he wishes he had before. He loves it very much.

Megumi becomes an unofficial part of Big Bro's family, his wife even has a guest room tailored to his tastes (and for his divine dogs), she has some of his favorite snacks in the pantry, and MY GOD, when he comes over of surprise and Reader's children are going to greet him with "welcome home Megumi-nisaaaaaan!" Megumi could DIE THERE AND DIE HAPPY.

They even leave him a space at the table (Big Bro's wife always gives him extra portions because according to her "he is very thin") and he can feel calm. simple peace of mind.

Gojo's brother is amazing.

and eventually thanks to this and being the fucking sensei's brother, he would also meet Nobara and Itadori.

Itadori would meet Big Bro reader before Nobara, he would probably even be either 1- one of the people Itadori would go on his first missions with or 2- one of the few people Gojo trusted to let him know that Yuji wasn't dead.

Let's go for both.

Itadori was VERY surprised to see the difference in attitude between his Sensei and his brother, but he still saw that Big Bro Reader was someone very respectable, even adorable! always bragging about his family and Gojo-sensei also started showing him his own photos of his nephews/nieces (Big Bro's children) and even some photos from when they were young, it was very wholesome.

I can see Big Bro joining Itadori in his movie marathons (especially after the incident with Junpei), inviting him to his house to meet his family, even staying for dinner. For Yuji everything is so...NEW, a whole family, functional and happy, how does he do it? but ends up thanking him very much for the experience (even giving him a hug that Reader gladly returns).

Itadori goes with Big bro reader if he needs more sentimental or emotional advice, since Big bro is something like his guide in that sense, his reference point for what he would like to have, and although Itadori is a walking green flag , sometimes doesn't understand certain situations, and wants to become as friendly and supportive as big bro reader.

Imagine Itadori and Megumi babysitting Big Bro reader's children! I imagine that they are half angels and half Gojo(xd) so they would have to be very careful with that. Megumi would absolutely LOVE to see children drawing pictures or talking about their family, if they draw him a picture of him, he will cry (even if it is the ugliest thing ever drawn, he will hang it on the refrigerator, NO BUTS)

Itadori stays more with Big Bro reader's wife (if she is there) and helps her with things like shopping bags and wanting to know more about the children to be a better babysitter with Megumi (although he knows them better so not much problem).

And when Big bro reader comes Back and the kids go running to give their dad the "welcome home!" Call, Itadori swears his heart MELTS.

Sensei's brother is very kind. Is what he thinks whathever the topic of Big bro is bring up.

Nobara would probably meet Big Bro after Itadori's "death", and at first she didn't think much of him (except that he dressed VERY well) until she learned that he was Gojo-Sensei's older brother. and honestly? She didn't believe it.

It couldn't be!! IT HAD TO BE A JOKE! How did someone like his sensei have someone so friendly as a brother? Or was Reader hiding his own idiotic side? It took photos from when they were young and a lot of insistence for her to finally believe that they were even related.

Definitely at first she was a little alert because of the friendly way Big Bro Reader acted, but eventually she was able to let her guard down when she realized that he wasn't planning anything shady, on the contrary, he wanted to be with them in a difficult moment like what he was doing. It was losing a partner. Nobara could respect him for that.

and he believed that he must be the proudest man in the world, because he always showed off his family, especially his children. At first Nobara found him somewhat annoying, but it didn't take long before she got on the train of enthusiasm for the achievements of Big Bro's children.

If Big Bro has a bad fashion sense, Nobara is ON A MISSION to change that, no ifs and buts. They won't go away until you at least know basic color theory.

Overall Nobara is happy to be a girl around Big Bro reader and have good mental support at this school. Sensei's brother is great.

Thank you for reading!❤️

[mixed-imagination]

can you do a sfw alphabet for nikolai please??? there are not enough stuff to soothe my nikolai fixation. if you can't do a sfw alphabet, i would like to hear about any headcanons you have about him too. thank you in advance x

Nikolai Lantsov SFW Alphabet

PAIRING: Nikolai Lantsov x reader ♡

WARNINGS: I haven't read the second and third Shadow and Bone books yet, so this is purely based on my perception of his character in Shadow and Bone season 2.

*** Beautiful heart divider created by @saradika ♡♡♡

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

♡ When Nikolai is with his one true love he is super affectionate. He's super comfortable around his love and loves physical touch. Physical touch is definitely one of his love languages. He's not afraid of PDA but he's respectful. A simple touch on the waist as you pass each other, a squeeze on the shoulder, or a kiss on the hand is how he would show you affection around higher-ups. But in private, he's handsy. He loves the way your skin feels and loves to smother you with kisses constantly. A kiss attack is one of his favorite moves.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

♡ Nikolai is a loyal, honest, trustworthy person. He's friendly and kind and anything but evil. Any person who reaches the best friend level with him is very lucky. He would give up his life to save a friend. Nikolai's also super funny, a cheeky bastard. Being best friends with him would involve being on the other end of his cheeky and sarcastic statements. He definitely likes to banter and tease, in a playful, innocent way of course. He would never hurt his best friend intentionally.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

♡ Nikolai is a big cuddler. At the end of a hard day of being King of Ravka or Captain Sturmhond, he loves to undress and snuggle up in bed under the covers with you. He loves to lay close to you and brush your cheek with his thumb while watching you snooze. Falling asleep with your head squished against his chest and your body in his arms is his favorite cuddle position. He also likes to keep his feet by yours even if they're cold. He likes to warm them up hehe.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

♡ Nikolai can't wait to settle down and have a partner and kids. (only after unifying Ravka, of course.) He's all about adventure, and for him, love is the biggest adventure of them all. Nikolai loves to cook - or at least he loves to try. He's not the best cook due to living in a palace for most of his life. As Sturmhond on his ship, he loves to cook his "best" recipes for you. Regardless of his pirate privateer life, Nikolai is also a relatively neat person. In the palace, servants rarely ever have to clean up after him.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

♡ Of course, it goes without saying that Nikolai would never want to leave you, his true love. But if he had to, it must be for heavy circumstances. At first, he'd avoid you and the act of breaking up. But eventually, he'd do it and probably give a breakup speech that would definitely end in tears between the two of you. Breaking up with you would mean he was breaking his own heart.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

♡ Again, once he unifies Ravka, Nikolai is suuuper down to marry. He can't wait to put a ring on it. He would get married to his true love as soon as possible. But he also wouldn't mind if you, his love, wanted to wait. He would wait forever for you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

♡ Nikolai isn't normally gentle. He honestly can't keep his hands off of you. He's no stranger to snatching you back toward him or firmly grabbing your face to pull you in for a kiss. However, Nikolai is very gentle when necessary. When he's feeling romantic, his softer side comes out. He would hold you like you were the most fragile thing in the world. And when you're sad, he would embrace you and gently wipe your tears. It's you who brings out his gentleness, no one else has the privilege of seeing it but you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

♡ Heck yea, Nikolai is a happy hugger. When he's feeling enthusiastic and having a good day he would grab you, squeeze you, and then maybe spin you around. He also loves to embrace you lovingly and hug you from behind while pecking at your neck.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

♡ Nikolai is a romantic. As soon as he feels it, he will tell you he loves you without hesitating. He's not afraid of wearing his heart on his sleeve when he's with you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

♡ Nikolai is a confident man and he's not really the jealous type. He doesn't mind any attention his love gets if it's within reason - he's an openly flirty guy himself. But if it gets too much, and another person got close to you, you know damn well he'll be feeling some type of way. Nikolai's honest and he will let you know how he feels. It's well-known that he loves a bit of dramatics, and he is all for showing up or challenging anyone who hits on you.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

♡ Nikolai is a really good, sensual kisser. It's so easy to melt into his kiss. In fact, he is a kiss stealer. He loves to steal kisses from your lips whenever you least expect it. Whenever you're busy or walking by, he would firmly grab you for a long snogging sesh, and when he's in a particularly lovey-dovey mood he also likes to kiss attack you.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

♡ Nikolai's so good with children, especially toddlers. He has the natural ability to be goofy and fun with little ones. He likes to make silly faces and voices with them, and sometimes he would play pranks on you with their help. Nikolai really is a big kid at heart when he's around kids. He adores them and can't wait to be a father one day.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

♡ Nikolai always wakes up with a big, loud yawn and arm stretch, similar to a rising lion. He usually wakes up early before you do, and likes to take a shower to start his day. And like every other man, he also wakes up with morning glory (ó﹏ò｡)

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

♡ Evenings with Nikolai are always an interesting surprise. After really long, taxing days, he'd be so exhausted and would fall asleep as soon as his body hit the bed. On other days, he would take you on mini nighttime adventures around the town. Sometimes when he has nothing planned and is not too busy saving Ravka, he also likes to have a few drinks with his friends and crew. And on most nights, he likes to end the day in bed with you ;o

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

♡ Nikolai is only an open book to those he completely trusts. Only a few people know of his true identity, you being one of them.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

♡ Overall, Nikolai's very patient. He's a natural-born leader and strategist who knows the right moments to act. However, he has absolutely no patience when it comes to people hurting the ones he cares about or anyone getting in the way of saving Ravka.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

♡ Nikolai's pretty good at remembering details about you. He's memorized your facial features and how your body reacts to his touch or his voice when you find something he says funny. He remembers everything you've ever seriously said when opening up to him. However, he's no exception to forgetting some of the passing things you say. It's rare, but it happens, and he's only human.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

♡ Nikolai's favorite moment in your relationship was when you first kissed. It was a moment where you both finally came to your feelings. You both had been dodging the obvious connection between you, overlooking and doubting all the little touches and teasing words, until finally, you both gave in naturally and kissed. It was one of the most fulfilling and sweetest moments Nikolai's ever had.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

♡ You are Nikolai's weakness. He would never want you in harm's way, and he would defend you and protect you with his life.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

♡ Nikolai is a busy man, saving Ravka as king/prince, but he always puts in the effort to find time to spend quality time with you, his love. Every day he reassures you of his affection through physical touch, his love language. If he is unable to see you, he sends you romantic love notes and letters.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

♡ Nikolai has a habit of interrupting others, and every so often, he also bites his fingernails whenever he's under stress.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

♡ Nikolai isn't too concerned with his looks, but he does clean himself up well and knows how to present himself. He's confident and clearly knows he looks good, or dashingly handsome as he would put it.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

♡ Nikolai often gives tokens of himself to those who are parting ways with him, and you are no exception to that. Whenever he has to go away on a voyage, he would give you a meaningful belonging of his, like his ring or compass. This action meant that he was incomplete without you, and he would only be completely whole until you and the item returned to him.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

♡ Nikolai likes to dance and sing. He doesn't do it often, but after a few drinks on a night out at the pub, he loves to break out into song with his friends and crew. He would have the bard sing songs all night long and he would dance with you and spin you around until you were dizzy. If karaoke existed in this realm, he would kill it.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

♡ Nikolai doesn't like Debbie downers or when a person is too overly pessimistic or negative. He doesn't like hypocrites or people who are prejudiced. He absolutely hates lies. Also, bad hygiene is a big turn-off.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

♡ Nikolai doesn't get much sleep and tends to go to bed late due to stress. When he is able to have a good night's sleep, he is a light snorer and always has detailed dreams that cause him to talk in his sleep from time to time. When he's with you he sleeps much better.

gosh darn, nikolai lantsov really is prince charming. he's so dreamy.

I hope yall liked it! this was my first SFW alphabet :P Please support my writing by giving me a like, follow, and reblog! ♡♡♡

[doll-book]

𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫: 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧 𝐬/𝐨 𝐢𝐧 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐝𝐫. · ° . ♡ ⊹

☆彡 -`, why building your dr around a partner could possibly be a blockage ꒱ 𔓘

ʚɞ゜・゜this is something i only internalized recently. on social media, i began noticing that when anti-shifters decide to run their mouths, they usually attack us or call us delusional for scripting popular celeb/character partners first. that means that the shifting content locals are exposed to first is about significant others and dating in other realities.

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💭 i started thinking .. why? why is 90% of shifting content i see about couple scenarios, s/o faceclaims, etc? why is recent shifting culture so based around dating and finding love in other realities? lately, i realize i've also been affected by the content i see so much. i have only one dr where i don't have an s/o, and it's my self care dr. i felt & still feel like i had to be dating someone in every reality i wanted to shift to, and if i didn't, i'd be missing out on something.

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💭 i’ve now realized that this way of thinking could possibly be a blockage. when you build your entire dr around a person, you neglect the other important parts of shifting to a real place. when you shift in, you won't be spending 24 hours a day with your s/o. even if you did, you'd quickly get tired. (i know, getting tired of THE namjoon or THE beomgyu sounds crazy, but they're people just like us. don't put your s/o on a pedestal once you shift in, that's unhealthy for both of you (ˊ‸ ˋ )...)

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i had to take a step back, and ask myself realistic questions like: ➴ "is this a dr where i have the time and energy to emotionally support my s/o?" ➴ "will our relationship be healthy in the long run, taking our lifestyles into account?"

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— ꒰ ♡ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ there was some discourse over this on tiktok (as always🙄). people were saying, "if you think your relationship is/will be unhealthy, just script it never becomes that way and you both love each other wholeheartedly forever."

💭 i don't want to make this complicated by getting into my beliefs about scripting, but simply put: your s/o is a real person, with real emotions and feelings. i can't stress this enough. you can script that they love you forever, but if both of you are in an environment that is busy or constantly changing, that will affect the dynamic of your relationship no matter what you script. it doesn't mean that they'll stop loving you, but like any normal relationship, the circumstances have to work out.

💭 furthermore, if you script that they love you forever no matter what, that could become a burden for you. what happens if you lose feelings, want to pursue other dreams, grow emotionally exhausted, etc? scripting relationships is a super sensitive thing imo, but shifters kinda gloss over it. it could unintentionally lead to traumatic experiences in your dr, so pls be careful pookie!

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➴ what circumstances make for an unhealthy relationship? i'll use one of my drs as an example: my rich & famous dr.

💭 i'm a world famous model and actress in this dr, with a number of amicable breakups from before i shift in. naturally, i scripted that i start dating one of my biases, and everything seemed perfectly fine until i started truly getting into the headspace of this dr. i began visualizing my day to day life, and not once did my relationship cross my mind.

💭 i scripted a packed schedule full of fun things i've always wanted to do. photoshoots and movies and exclusive parties and secret friendgroups - literally everything that makes a glamorous lifestyle. i scripted that the only day i have off completely is sunday, for relaxation, self care, and sleeping in.

and then, i started thinking about my partner. ➴ "when will i see her next?" ➴ "what will we do when we're together?" ➴ "are we both excited to see each other?"

when i answered these questions honestly, i realized most of them were negative.

➴ "i might not see her for a one or two because of our overlapping schedules." ➴ "we might go on a date, if she's tired we can just hang out at home." ➴ "realistically, no.. we'd probably both be tired, even if we meet up on an off-day because of our exhausting work weeks."

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💭 when i shared my thoughts to some shifting friends, they just said "script that your workload isn't as much." but.. i don't want to? i enjoy the realism of being tired after a long day. it's like proof i truly worked, and everything isn't just a dream. i could script that my schedule is more spread out to make time for my s/o, but then we come to my point:

💭 i dont want to change the entire structure of my dr just to have a partner. if my s/o doesn't fit into the dr i planned, i don't want to squeeze them into it. to me, building your dr around having an s/o feels wrong and unnatural. i notice shifters tend to forget: you're really truly actually going to this place. you have your own life to live, things to do, etc etc. don't let having a partner overshadow the experience of shifting.

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💭 when it comes to actually fixing the issue, it may feel weird to delete an entire person out of your dr or become strangers w/ them - so just change your relationship status. in my fame dr, i re-scripted my former s/o to a person i'll meet and become very close friends with. if it turns into something more over time, after i shift in, that's great!! yay for me! i just don't want to feel held back by someone i should be cherishing, and instead let it happen naturally. if you feel more comfortable scripting out your relationship, then you do you!

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NOTE: i'm not trying to say stop scripting significant others. by all means, script an s/o! a partner! a boyfriend! a girlfriend! a husband! a wife! a spouse! a sneaky link! anything! it's your reality, i'm not trying to take away from that fact. i'm just pointing out how shifters often gloss over the realness of being in a relationship. this was simply a reminder for those who may be feeling the same way i did, and to help those people to make the neccessary changes. if you feel that the relationship you've scripted is happy and healthy, go for it cutie! even if its not happy or healthy, but you.. want that..? it's none of my business fr 🤷‍♀️. you were warned, and you have the resources you need to do your research. i trust you!

and one more thing i should mention, i'm saying all this without even starting on how the aroace shifting community must feel abt it. if you're aroace & wanna share any comments, suggestions, or experiences, pls msg or ask !! this is something that affects most shifters regardless of orientation but aroace ones especially😭 hope yall are hanging in there..

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that's all! ily!

[jenchan-writingmultis]

Twisted Wonderland Boys x Gn! Reader Breakups

A/n: Hi!, We're back to brainrotting for a bit <3 Will not be writing Ace and Cater since I don't know much about both of them currently! Masterlist

Chapter Two: Savanaclaw

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

Sypnosis: Imagine how twisted Wonderland boys are as your ex-boyfriends? Who would cut ties first? or how they would break up with you due to unforeseen circumstances? what was the reason for their breakup, and how would they do it?

Heartslabyul:

Riddle: Breaks up with you first

♚ He breaks up with you first, not because of his mother’s decisions, no, it’s because he thinks that he’s not giving you enough time. He’s always in motion, filled with responsibilities, he didn’t know if he could even spend time with you anymore.

♚ At first, he was fine with it, thinking that, once summer break happens, he would get to spend time with you, however, he almost forgot that his mother is anticipating his arrival back home, and he felt apologetic for even telling you that he’ll have more time once summer started, a huge error on his part.

♚ He realized that his time with you started to get chipped slowly, more and more responsibilities awaited him after finishing his second year.

♚ He decided that you deserve a boyfriend who could give you the time he lacks, and you deserve to know about his plans. Inviting you out for the first (and last) time. He invites you out to eat at a nearby café. One that you frequented with him in the first stages of your relationship.

♚ He’d have a casual conversation with you first, before setting down the tea he ordered; mustering the courage he accumulated during the time he couldn’t talk to you.

♚ “We should break up” he stated, hands intertwining with each other as if he’s speaking in a housewarden meeting.

♚ “What?” your voice broke, almost breaking the glass you were drinking from as the hurt in your heart made his heart ache and making him want to backtrack his statement. Yet he continued forward.

♚ “I think you deserve better than my broken promises” his resolve was crumbling when your lips formed into a thin line, looking down as if you were admitting defeat made him frown further. “I’m sorry,” he adds, feeling as if cotton was stuck in his throat, what else could he say in this situation?

♚ “Maybe if we focused on our careers first-“He cut himself off, a bitter realization that he was starting to sound like his mother as he bit his lip, he couldn’t face you anymore, standing up he fixed his uniform, “I’ll give you some space.” He finishes, before grabbing his bag, “Riddle-“you tried to call out to him but he was out of the door in a split second.

♚ He was pathetic, how would he consider himself a man, leaving you there alone? He basically ruined your reputation.

♚ As an ex-boyfriend, he would avoid you at all costs, and even if he couldn’t he’ll cut his conversations short with you, he knows that you might hate him because of what he did, so he’s making sure that he respects your time for self-healing.

♚ Although he unconsciously seeks you, sometimes he would ask your friends, especially if they’re from Heartslabyul like Ace and Deuce if you found a new lover? Or were you preparing for something? Like a midterm exam or finals? Or were you planning on any new designs for Ramshackle?

♚ 7/10 ex-boyfriend, mainly because he cannot move on from you and will continue to keep tabs on you if you ever find another lover, he’ll get so upset and hurt by it, but realizing that he was at fault he swallows up all his bitterness and “tries” to accept it.

Trey: You break up first

☘︎ You didn’t really understand why you would break up with someone like Trey, he gave you everything, yet you ended a perfect relationship with him just like that.

☘︎ Which is normal, you lost feelings for Trey Clover, and you couldn’t see a future with him, maybe it was the fact that you felt like you two didn’t have the spark that you felt in the first stages of your relationship. There are endless possibilities of why you would break up with Trey Clover. But this simply was because of your loss of love for him.

☘︎ Trey would notice how you seemed to be further from him, or at least you were starting to distance yourself from him. He’d ask you if you wanted to come to go out on a date with him, but simply refused, he’ll respect that, but couldn’t help but wonder what has gotten you to start avoiding him out of nowhere?

☘︎ He would be patient at first, letting you have your alone time, and he’d do his own thing, having plenty of responsibilities that he could distract himself instead of worrying why you were ignoring him.

☘︎ Maybe you needed time? Did he do something wrong? Or was it the time Riddle got his attention due to almost collaring a few Heartslabyul students during your date inside NRC?

☘︎ He didn’t even realize that despite trying to avoid his thoughts, they were still there, so when you finally decided to speak to him after a few weeks of ignoring him, he was ecstatic.

☘︎ But that was short-lived when you told him that you wanted to end your relationship with him.

☘︎ His heart dropped when he heard that, but his face remained neutral, staring into your eyes, scanning for any jokes, this might be some cruel joke, right? He wanted to grab your shoulders, and ask you what happened and what did he do wrong? When did you start thinking about this? But all he could ask was

☘︎ “Why?” even muttering that made his throat constrict, he looked away, hand automatically going to his forehead as he felt like he was having a bad dream

☘︎ You told him that you simply lost interest, that you didn’t want to drag the relationship further, and that he deserves someone who could love him fully. He wanted to reject it, but he couldn’t, he didn’t have the heart to force you to reconsider when it’s obvious you’ve been thinking about this for so long.

☘︎ He’d accept it without a fuss, even to the point he gave you one last hug, a lingering one because he knew that it was the last time he gets to hold you like this as your boyfriend.

☘︎ “I hope you find someone who’ll treat you right” A painful farewell, but he knew that with time, he’ll try to heal.

☘︎ As an Ex-Boyfriend, he wouldn’t be the type to avoid you, he might stay friends with you even, in order to keep peace, he doesn’t like conflicts and starts thinking about the situation in a more positive way, that you two weren’t meant for each other and that you deserve someone much more compatible (although the thought of you being with someone else leaves a bitter taste in his mouth) If you avoid him however, he wouldn’t notice it, since he’s starting to get used not seeing you more often than normal.

☘︎ Whether you’d be bitter at the improvement or not, Trey is trying his best to put both your best interests at heart, you broke up with him, so he’s just trying to remain civilized with the situation!

☘︎ Overall 10/10. He is the best ex-boyfriend you can have, he doesn’t get hostile with you, maybe a little awkward but he doesn’t outright insult your name and ruin your reputation to other heartslabyul students.

Deuce: You break up first

♠️ Wouldn’t believe it at first, he’d try to ask you where he was lacking, was it because he wasn’t acting like an adult? Was he too childish? Dumb? Immature? He would try to stop you from leaving without telling him the reason, but he wouldn’t get too aggressive with it even of you truly wanted to leave him with no questions unanswered.

♠️ You’re Deuce’s first lover, so he can’t just let you go, he’s in denial that you even broke up with him, expect a few flowers, phone calls and chats from him which is encouraged by a few of his friends.

♠️ If you truly didn’t want him to chase you, please provide him with a reason why you even wanted to leave in the first place. He won’t argue with you for it, he just needed to know where he lacked that he pushed you to the point where you had to break up with him.

♠️ If it was something like losing the spark in the relationship, he wouldn’t understand it at first but would accept it.

♠️ Sometimes, his gaze would linger on you if you decided to stay friends with him instead of ghosting him. If you noticed he’d outright, try to reject it only to wither if you pushed even a little bit.

♠️ His response would be that he still really loves you, and hopes that you’d reconsider (no matter how many months to years it takes)

♠️ His mother would know about what happened but wouldn’t hate you for it, sometimes young love doesn’t work out, however, she does feel the want to scold you for creating such a mess of his son whenever he calls.

♠️ Always talking about you instead of himself, she understands that he truly does love you as first love, but she’s really hoping that you’d either take him back, or her son could finally move on, especially when there are many fishes in the sea, her son is not ugly after all!

♠️ As an Ex- Boyfriend, would rate him a 5/10, he’s sweet, caring, and a good boyfriend, but as your ex, he’s not the type to let go that easily, he would yearn for you, wish that you’ll take him back no matter what. So, unfortunately, he’s not good with staying far away from you when he craves your affection.

[moonshynecybin]

https://www.tumblr.com/moonshynecybin/741446960125509632 'The scans of his bones that sit in his email, twisted out of shape and healed sloppily. His relationship to Valentino, the same.'

this is embarrassing but i DID have to stare at the quote for several minutes before i figured out EYE wrote it.... this is sweet thank youuuu <3... um i also do wanna talk about that excellent post from @frogsonabike as well bc it makes me crazyyyy.... bear with me.

so yeah! marc's docuseries is one of those interesting little exercises in self-mythologizing that is well. maybe is not the most objective way to frame his sporting story but is CERTAINLY revealing concerning what matters to MARC. like he the one producing this, he's the subject of the documentary, and a big part of the structure of the show is literally marc sitting down and giving feedback about the edit straight to camera (CONTROL FREAK.) truly. there are scenes in this show of marc straight up saying hmmm i like this but i want to make sure we include x y and zeee so people can see how normal and happy i am :) because thats something normal people do. and so the whole project is very much in his hands and shaped by how he wants himself to be perceived... like the narrative arc of the whole thing is SUPPOSSED to be focused on him getting surgery and coming back from injury -- its a straightforward sports story that lets us get to know marc a little more and sets up his (hopeful) return to health/competition. a normal if somewhat micromanaged sports documentary.

BUT marc is crazy. crucially we must never forget that marc is crazy. crucially. so instead theres this HUGE diversion in the middle of our three act play just to talk about valentino for a full fucking episode. because of course there is. and marc's all like. i know we have to talk about valentino frowny face. but my man you literally do not under any circumstances have to derail your hagiographic feel-good comeback story to talk about your ex of seven years. he is retired lol. like truly i think it all ties into how traumatizing the breakup was, ESPECIALLY the way his personal narrative got kind of removed from his control during the whole deal... like forgive me if im wrong here but dani and jorge dont make any other appearances in this thing. marc had to make that call specifically for this lol. it wasnt just i GUESS i'll talk about valentino its wait a minute lemme call the other aliens they need to be here to back me up. actually dani being there is so funny but i digress. like i think marc desperately wanted to tip a lil of the balance of the scales here and saw his chance.... which is so interesting to meeee like he can say as time passes i love him less and less but it clearly still matters to him!!!!! otherwise he wouldnt have said SHIT. and then he dropped it on their birthday lol. crazy ex-girlfriend behavior.

[n7punk]

“Slipstream” Fic Notes

Slipstream is done after growing far beyond the “simple hacker fic” concept and honestly Mara’s so cute I can’t even be mad. Fic notes below.

Playlist:

I’ve got the playlist here, but other honorable mentions I listeded to on repeat during this just because I wanted to: The Sex Was Good Until It Wasn’t album by XANA (it dropped in May and that shit is still on repeat), SUCKERPUNCH album by chloe moriondo (for chapter 6), PVRIS’s entire discography (I was going through something).

The Kicker — XANA

Good Luck, Babe! — Chappell Roan

Diet Heartbreak — chloe moriondo

TRAUMA BOND — poutyface

Albi — XANA

Rly Don’t Care — chloe moriondo

Chaos Is Love — K.Flay

Teenage Nightmare [unreleased demo]

What’s My Age Again? — Emilia Ali

Late Bloomer — Allison Ponthier

Holy Revival — Maisie Peters (ignore the verses)

Femininomenon — Chappell Roan

Mercury In Retrograde — Avril Lavigne

NIGHT IN JAIL — Rachel Bochner

my best friend’s ex — emlyn

Even If It Kills Me [unreleased demo]

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl — Chappell Roan

Sirens (feat. Sophie Powers) — MOTHICA

Homewrecking Era — XANA

Obsessed (feat. Ashley Sienna) — Sophie Powers

Obsessed — Astrid S

Look At Her Now — Selena Gomez

Pretty Girls — Renee Rapp

Cruel Summer — Taylor Swift

Picture You — Chappell Roan

Epilogue Life:

It takes a few months for Catra to feel like she has any handle on “parenting” or any right to even think that term about herself when she’s still a newcomer to Mara’s life, but Mara has accepted her at that point, it’s Catra and her own lack of a parental figure that is stopping her. She never would have accepted someone trying to come in and parent her after being so jaded from the first few years of her life (see her  relationship with Adora’s parents in high school), so she’s expecting Mara to be a lot more hesitant and take “convincing”. She wants to give her the time she needs, but Mara had a loving parent growing up and doesn’t see adding Catra to that role as a bad thing.

Mara also has a little kid understanding of the world, so to her the instant Catra and Adora are dating she’s her stepmom, not because it’s that easy, but because obviously dating = will get married, so there is no point “fighting” something that is inevitable. Even though her parents don’t talk to each other, it doesn’t occur to her that people break up under normal circumstances. Her dad has hurt her mom and her a lot, he’s a bad guy, and Catra isn’t that, so why would she ever leave. They’re both girls and gay, they have no need to breakup. Life isn’t that simple, but it does make their relationship transition pretty smooth from Mara’s perspective.

Catra still insists on the stepdad thing and it becomes a family joke. Catra tells Mara it’s because it would be too confusing if they were both mom and Mara accepts that without question, because she is actually right. The reasons for stepdad are multi-layered, like this addition which helps Mara accept it: Mara wants someone good to replace the force of rejection and imbalance her bio dad was, so she’s more than happy to have Catra take that mantle instead. Catra wants to replace him as well, for many reasons including her own selfish hatred of him, but also her own insecurity. She knows she can be a better parent than Falcon, but she doesn’t think she can ever be equal to Adora and thus an equal mom. Adora’s parents weren’t 100% wrong when they mentioned the butch thing either because it is my headcanon Catra is a little GNC at times. Not really anything deep or strong enough for her to identify any particular way, just something that means she wouldn’t mind stepdad or “sir” even without all those other layers. Eventually a lot of those factors stop seeming like such a big deal but at that point it is just a family joke that never really dies. Occasionally once she’s in high school Mara calls her mom, but mostly Catra is “Dad” or “my stepdad” when being referred to singularly, and then when Mara is referring to both her parents she calls them “my moms”. Which does confuse people and Catra finds that funny.

When Mara is in high school and the age Adora and Falcon were when they started dating, Falcon finally tries reaching out again. That was a phone call Adora never wanted to get, but he’s not coming back to the country — he does still have those debts waiting for him, after all, and unable to pay them back, the stress would take him right back to that mental state he fled — and he’s not trying to rejoin their lives, he just kind of wants to know what happened after he left. Adora is angry and tells him he doesn’t have the right to know that after what he did — and she’s right — but later she still regrets it and, after talking to Catra (who also tells her she was right and she shouldn’t call him back and open that door back into their lives for him, but sits by her side when she’s on the phone to support her when she insists on going through with it), she calls him back. She only gives him the very high level stuff: she started dating someone right around when he disappeared, and they’re married now and happy, and she has become Mara’s new stepdad — something Falcon thinks she says as a pointed jab not knowing that’s really what Mara calls her — and Mara is doing well despite Falcon messing up her sense of trust and safety as a little kid, and definitely doesn’t need him fucking with her again by trying to contact her now. Adora makes it clear this is a courtesy she is giving him with the understanding that, now she has volunteered the information, he isn’t going to seek any more out or bother them.

That holds kind of true. He checks in with Adora around high school graduation just to make sure Mara made through it okay — he can’t help but remember around this time he was ruining both their lives — and to see if she plans to go to college, which she does, and then he calls again three years later just to see if she’s still on that track, which she is. He never calls again and Adora never knows if that’s because he moved on, or got closure, or lost their number, or died. Mara knows he called to check in on her once or twice but Adora didn’t tell her until she was an adult because she worried about reintroducing all that old uncertainty and fear back into her life, and at least now no one can force her to see Falcon if she doesn’t want to.

Catra seriously considers hunting him down after he goes dark, but she has done what she can to close the illegal chapter of her life and she knows Adora wouldn’t be happy with her reopening it — especially when she’s a little rusty — for their own closure with him. Catra didn’t exactly succeed in turning over a new leaf overnight, but she did greatly reduced her law-breaking, leaving only little slip-ups that happened every few months until she managed to stretch a gap long enough for it to become permanent, the impulse no longer second nature and her episodes of feeling untouchable either more rare or focused on something other than being unafraid of the government. She does stay in the cybersecurity sector professionally for a long time and works alongside Entrapta several times throughout the years.

I’ve kind of talked about this before and even included it in the concert scene, but Catra and Entrapta do kind of keep  referring to each other as partner occasionally and honestly neither of them are really sure how they mean it. They never formally said “QPR over”, they said “no more physical affection (sex)” and they remained very close, though it felt like it did end more definitively when Catra eventually moved in with Adora. That took her longer to do than it usually does in AUs due to both her happiness/comfort with Entrapta, trying not to “upset” Mara by forcing the change on her, and Catra still needing the ability to get distance from them for the night sometimes while dealing with her own demons, but those slowly disappear as Mara lets her heal her own childhood and she sees she can be a good parental figure with experience.

Chapter 1:

⦁ “Slipstream” was once again a temporary placeholder name that became permanent. It’s a reference to the hacker Slipstream, one of the names behind the Nintendo gigaleak.

⦁ Entrapta’s daily energy drink limit is by no means her daily average, but any day drinking seven energy drinks is a bad one. She doesn’t actually drink Monster every day… Just like 95% of them. And she is a lot more likely to drink 1-3 than 5.

⦁ Okay I’m like half bullshitting the tech speak in this fic. The 20 minute decryption Waffle House thing? Yeah that’s actually optimistic. The kid who hacked the CIA did that exact thing and took 30 minutes to log on and he still eventually got caught.

⦁ Close followers of my Tumblr will already know Adora Maria is reference to some terrible  “wrong” trivia answers to a question about She-ra’s names.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Steps (loosely): 1) Identify absolutely necessary files and save them, 2) Paste contents of other important word/text files into empty cloud documents she can download later (cleaning metadata), 3) Create a new encrypted email on a totally different machine (in this case, Catra’s clean laptop she had with her), 4) Forward absolutely necessary emails to new address (being very selective), 5) Delete what accounts it’s reasonable to just nuke, 6) Completely wipe computer and reset it, 7) Change first the associated email and then the password of all other accounts in a closed environment (Catra’s laptop) and turn on two-factor for absolutely everything that has the option, 8) When all information has been reset, delete old email in closed environment as insurance.

⦁ Adora’s scent changed some with pregnancy and then the rest with lifestyle changes.

⦁ Mara comes out to check on them because Adora told her an old friend from high school was coming over and she wasn’t making the happy sounds she makes with her friends. When she realized Adora was stressed she got worried, doubly so when she said it was grown-up stuff, because that grown-up stuff could be Mara-related — especially since she knows Falcon is causing problems with child support even if Adora tries to keep her from hearing about it too much — which is why Adora invited her out to see it’s really okay.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Originally when I wrote the group chat there was nothing differentiating who was speaking, but I had the idea to use emojis like profile pictures to make it more clear. The scorpio icon was originally head-in-the-clouds (high af emote), the star was originally just a sassy emote, and the dragon changed the same. I ended up changing them because a reader sent an ask letting me know that the emotes wouldn’t translate to epub format and the Scorpio and star “emote” are part of the standard unicode colored symbals, so I’m hoping they’re included, but I also don’t have any way of checking without just uploading the thing so this was my best effort. I kept the dragon even though it’s not included because I was too attached and only one person missing an icon would at least differentiate it from the others still.

⦁ Adora named Mara after her old teacher Mara because she was the only out lesbian she (knew) she had ever met. She was pretty quiet about it to not get harassed by parents, but she wasn’t about to lie about it, and she would talk about Hope when prompted. Adora admired that back in high school thinking she just Respected Her Ideals™️ and later realized it was more than that.

⦁ Catra’s conflicting feelings looking at Mara hugging Adora’s hip are actually less because she’s remembering her father and more remembering she was doing that to feel safe and she doesn’t like to think she’s making a kid feel unsafe too.

⦁ Adora’s habit of rubbing at her tattoo (versus something like the back of her neck) started when it itched a lot while healing. She has terrible tattoo discipline and really shouldn’t get another one because she couldn’t leave it alone.

⦁ You might be able to tell here, but originally Mara was intended to be older (8-ish or something) but I didn’t want them to separate that long. The timeline is already kind of screwy because even with Adora a year older Mara should actually be four with pregnancy time, but shhhhhh.

⦁ Oh my god I wish more people knew the difference between the deep web and the dark web. People act like they’re interchangable when Facebook qualifies as the deep web. Catra is a deep web miscreant, not the dark web.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Perfuma doesn’t know they’re cyber criminals but given the jokes about felonies she can guess that’s the only thing that makes sense, and then she elects not to think any more about it because they’re really important to Scorpia and she wants plausible deniability.

⦁ Obviously Catra hadn’t said Adora’s name yet, but Adora is such an Entity in her mind it feels like everybody should think about her as much as Catra does.

⦁ Perfuma would have to be totally oblivious to not pick up from the conversation that Catra had a crush on Adora in high school, and knowing what she does about Adora’s comphet she just kind of assumes it was the classic “crush on a straight girl” that went nowhere until Catra left school. She’s not about to embarrass Catra by bringing that up to Adora, but if she knew how serious it was and had a hunch how Adora felt she might interfere.

⦁ Table break lore. I wouldn’t say this is a reference so much as a shared headcanon that previously came up allllllllllll the way back in Drawn Into The Music, where Scorpia breaks a table trying to lean on it while drunk because Biceps.

⦁ Mara’s set up is basically what I had as a kid. When we were little we had the “kid computer” which belonged to someone back in the day when it was actually considered a good machine. It didn’t have internet and was just for playing games (which were all offline at that point in time). When we got old enough for the internet we had a  software that only let us browse for like 30 minutes each day and I think had an automatic filter of inappropriate sites? If it did, the site list was very minimal and I never ran into any issues personally, but a software that blocks pornhub isn’t a bad thing for a five year old to have even if I’m generally against online surveillance lmao. It’s not making a list of sites she visited for spying purposes or anything, and generally Adora tries to be in the room with her when she’s online (in-game or not) because you know. Super young. She’s really busy though and sometimes has to rely on the idea that the parents of Mara’s friends are doing the same thing and monitoring them so they can keep safe. That is not always true.

⦁ Adora tousles Mara’s hair and pets her so much because that became one of the ways she knew how to express affection with Catra and now it’s just ingrained as a part of her.

⦁ Semi-related, she and Catra didn’t actually meet until middle school in this ‘verse and had about five years together before Catra’s breakdown.

⦁ Adora’s tattoo is the season one sword in a deep maroon and then the gem in the center of the hilt is the sunset ombre from the lesbian flag. Catra just thought the lines were black because she couldn’t see that shade of red.

⦁ “The breakup” here is code for “uncomfortable sex experience”.

Chapter 5:

⦁ Catra was about to say she doesn’t get on her knees unless a pretty girl asks nicely before her brain caught up with her mouth.

⦁ Adora was absolutely not going to interrupt because she was smitten watching them interact. She never in her wildest dreams thought Catra would do more than tolerate her child at best, but she forgot the factor of her kind of outweighed the factor of child.

⦁ Uhhhh. So. Alright fuck it. Catra was in a mania fit when she broke into the mall. That can come from a couple things and I’ve experienced it once I think, but yeah she really should be on mood stablizers and just refuses to see a professional about it. Once her life stabilized and she essentially had Entrapta as a safety net, knowing she wasn’t going to kick her out if her work lapsed, it made things a lot easier, but her constant vigilance against authorities could just as easily be seen as appropriate vigilance as it is paranoia (primarily socially-unacceptable anxiety).

⦁ Catra doesn’t know how to categorize her emotions outside of bad criteria so any strong emotion gets categorized as “breakdownable” or not but that’s definitely not what she’s feeling here, having emotions just feels like she’s dying.

⦁ Bella Sara supremacy !! 🗣️🗣️I don’t think it was available on the Vita lol but it was in THIS universe.

Chapter 6:

⦁ Catra was, subconsciously, still trying to delay the inevitable of Adora and Entrapta meeting by meeting with Adora and Scorpia downstairs. When they finally came home and it was time, Catra basically tried to get everyone settled in the living room and her own bedroom without “bothering” Entrapta, but she did vaguely greet them when they got home. Their first real conversation was the one in the bed, though.

⦁ Adora is the type of drunk to try to perpetuate her own existence. If you look away from drunk Adora for a second she’s doing another round of shots and trying to get herself hospitalized.

⦁ “Adora shouldn’t be worrying about this” yeah this reaction has nothing to do with cheating, Catra, that’s just all she can do with her jealousy reasonably.

⦁ The Scene (1)

⦁ Belgian Boys mini pancakes my beloved

⦁ Okay so “cheating” per se isn’t so much a thing in their relationship, but by the idea that there are rules and they have an understanding which involves not messing around with other people without notification/permission, then yes cheating is a thing. It would  be shitty for Catra to do anything without letting Entrapta know she intends to, which is the entire point of the fun pass.

Chapter 7:

⦁ Catra didn’t really have a sex addiction or anything she was just really, really lonely, knew people found her hot, and needed reasons to stay at other people’s places, so it ended up as a perfect storm.

⦁ “Put the kid on and let me talk to her” from Catra “I’m just tolerating the kid” Meow Meow.

⦁ Yes I know that “bludgeoning weapon” was not at all correct. But it sounded good, and that’s what writing is sometimes.

⦁ “She tells herself Mara would miss her gifts and then immediately questions why she needs to tell herself anything at all.” Idk Catra I think Mara might miss you as a little more than a gift-giving source. She might be really broken up by you not coming around. (You would also miss her but I’m not even going to pretend you’re open to that idea)

⦁ IDK CATRA MAYBE THE KID WANTED TO BE AROUND AND TRUSTED BY YOU. IDIOT

⦁ The Scene (2)

Chapter 8:

⦁ Turnabout’s fair play and we’ve gone from Adora thinking she can’t stay over to Catra thinking it. These two lesbians just need to accept they’re equally needy.

⦁ “Hoodwinked” agenda !! In all seriousness I haven’t watched it in years so I’m not sure if it holds up, but I loved that movie as a kid and so did my mom. I watched it so many times.

⦁ “Tax-free” is in reference to the final line of the chapter, where Catra has some (minor) dues to pay for how she has lived her life, but it’s nothing more serious than what she has already done, because as awful as she often thinks herself, most of what she did was just surviving under hard circumstances.

Chapter 9:

⦁ Adora has it right with Falcon. To him, he and his girlfriend had sex bad enough for her to realize she was gay (he was not being a good partner for that because he didn’t notice she was uncomfortable, he was just thinking three years together made it about time), he suddenly has a kid at only 19, and his now-ex he was planning to marry can’t even look at him. He already had gambling tendencies and really fell on it with the stress of college and navigating the kid situation, and then everything snowballed because the debt got bad enough he couldn’t make tuition and his stress went even further through the roof when he was forced to just get a job to pay what child support he could, and then he starts getting these threats and at that point completely starting over is looking pretty attractive. Whether or not he was in the right has no effect on how his brain was able to handle it and Mara’s inception turned out mildly traumatic for everyone involved.

⦁ “The fact that Adora is right to have her suspicions is annoying.” That’s a little thing called guilt, kitten.

⦁ I don’t know what my thing with Albuquerque is but whenever I think of someone going into hiding/leaving the country I think of them doing it there. I’m sure it was used in some piece of media I consumed when I was young and that’s where it came from because to my knowledge it’s not an international flights hub.

⦁ Glimmer is one of those people who will drop in the group chat like hey who wants to see a show in two weeks and then just buy tickets for everyone. This was actually arranged months ago, hence the Star siblings not thinking about the timing and having a conflict, and it was before Perfuma and Scorpia even started dating.

⦁ Melendy Britt was a voice actress on the OG cartoon and like a third of the female characters, playing Adora amongst others. She was recently at the MOTU SDCC panel.

⦁ In most ‘verses I think Catra loves music, she just has a specific history in this AU that makes it a weird thing for her because she knows it was robbed of her but can’t try to get into it now because that’s acknowledging everything she has lost.

⦁ The brain development thing is actually a myth and it varies wildly between people, but Adora’s parents are also the kind to sincerely believe you’re only using 10% of your brain at any given time.

Chapter 10:

⦁ When I was initially figuring out what to do with Falcon, I wasn’t really sure what to do with him. I wanted to get him involved in criminal stuff Catra could uncover so he couldn’t be around Mara anymore, but I was also hesitant to do that because Adora’s life is in a precarious place without the child support. I also didn’t want to make him into this caricature of awfulness when he was once Adora’s longterm boyfriend and thus at least seemed decent. Then I remembered Catra has a tech sector paycheck and I could easily just run him off at that point.

⦁ Honestly, now is probably the time to admit that every third time I went to write Falcon’s name I almost wrote Sea Hawk just because they’re so similar, which makes sense since Falcon was invented to be Sea Hawk’s ex, but it was a struggle the whole fic lol.

⦁ Okay, but what did happen with Falcon and the money/threats? Well, Catra had it pretty right: they were sketchy people, and criminals sure, scammers definitely, but they weren’t actually going to send hitmen after him or anything. He was never in any danger. Leaving the country did actually give him a new leaf though and he was a better person with it, managing to build something even though he was still struggling with his gambling addiction. He wasn’t able to keep any kind of savings going as a result but he at least learned not to spend money he didn’t actually have and get in debt. He managed to find a small pension job and get help for his anxiety, which let him at least a small modest life.

⦁ Mrs. Bee is Sweet Bee.

⦁ I meant to have a conversation about swearing they never ended up having. Basically, Adora vaguely tries to censor herself, but things like “oh stars” come naturally to her from her parents, “fuck” just also comes naturally from everyone else in her life lol. Mara knows kind of what swear words are and that they’re “adult words” you need to be older to understand the impact of, so when Catra (or Adora) does inevitably swear in front of the kid, it’s  not much of a big deal. Catra ends up making it out to be a bigger thing in her head and putting more effort into censoring herself (read: any effort) than Adora does or cares. Eventually they do talk about it when Catra takes a bit more of a parental role in Mara’s life and is trying to figure out what that entails.

⦁ There’s this tendency for people talking to kids to refer to their parents as “your mom” rather than like, their name which you would be using in any other context. Catra has had a secret rule — secret even to herself — that she’s going to keep Adora’s name and not do that “your mom” shit. Well, here she is doing that shit, and it’s because she feels a lot less like she needs to distance herself from Mara — and thus the concept of Adora having kids — than she did at first when Mara quite frankly terrified her.

⦁ “I didn’t remember your phone number-” a straight up lie, “-and I wasn’t about to go back home under any conditions to ask your parents what you were up to,” will turn out to be a lie.

Chapter 11:

⦁ “It’ll even look bad on Mara by the time of their next zoo visit.” Oh? Are you planning to be part of that visit, Catra?

⦁ (I am not personally a big fan of bucket hats but there are times when they look really cute — yes even on adults — Catra’s just a hater)

⦁ Catra’s description of how the magicat crowns work is actually how her mask works on her official doll. In the case of the magicat queens, though, the hooks were more like a fallback because the mask was made to be so perfect against their face its weight was distributed over the entire thing and the small hooks just kept it from getting out of place.

⦁ Catra’s freakout is very funny to me because kids will play with literally anyone they like but Catra has so little experience she thinks this is what fatherhood is. Not that she isn’t a Trusted Adult to Mara but most of her “signs” would be there whether or not they were dating.

⦁ “It’s also partially that she isn’t ever going to be a father to anyone, and thus using it has more joking distance that feels marginally more acceptable.” She’s a dad within six months lmao.

⦁ Being a parent doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people, and Catra is one of those, so for most of the fic you don’t really get to see her in “parent mode”, and I do worry where it leaves off some people will see her as not a good step-parent for Mara, but that’s a slow process for her to reach. The fic would have to drag out a lot longer before it could reach  the point where it’s natural for her. For most of the first year she feels like she’s horribly flailing during every interaction with Mara, and that doesn’t change with this chapter, but she does internally accept that this is a role she’s going to have and wants to take  up, so while she still jokes and occasionally slips up, she does love the kid and is doing her best.

Chapter 12:

⦁ I’m basically picturing the Home Alone house for Adora’s parents but I don’t remember it from the movie, I remember it from the LEGO set. So do with that what you will.

⦁ Marlena knows what she’s doing and she’s just trying to feel Catra out because she never would have pictured her becoming a parent in high school, but she also knows, both logically and from her phone calls with Adora, that Catra has grown a lot.

Original Outline:

I actually have my original idea for the fic still written down from a Discord conversation with a friend so here it is in its entirety:

vague idea is catra + entrapta are a hacker duo and they’re a thing. adora's organization is data compromised, forcing catra to get back in contact with her to help her fix it (vaguer idea is adora works for a nonprofit or something. dont hold me to that) like catra independently finds out there's a security vulnerability and is like fuck i have to be a good guy about this Maybe Catra tries to hack them to spy on adora because she misses her and then she gets way too much way too easily.

So yeah obviously a lot changed. Another idea was that Catra had to protect Adora from people trying to get her for… IDK, something Catra uncovered that Adora didn’t even know she knew (or at least didn’t realized was incriminating enough for people to want to cover it up), but I don’t really like writing action lol.

Everything changed because I had been wanting to write a single mom Adora fic too, just didn’t have anything written for it. In the initial version of Slipstream, I had no background for how they drifted apart, and the comphet backstory for the single mom Adora fic slotted nicely into Slipstream’s empty past, so I combined them so I could write both at once, especially because (as evidenced by how little was in the outline) I didn’t have any kind of ongoing plot after they reconnected that I actually wanted to write (again, action ideas are fun, but not for me to write). The new story gave me a lot more avenues to explore relationship dynamics as a big element for all the characters, and thus gave the QPR more relevance and let me portray something I think is kind of rare. Entrapta’s relationship with relationships in this fic is really personal to me and it kind of stuck out as a little out of place in the old idea, but in this version of the fic it works into the overall themes of relationships, self-denial, and accepting that what satisfies you isn’t necessarily the thing that will make you happiest and that’s worth whatever risks are associated with it.

I want back and forth on the club chapter and the following revolving around a few points: should they actually kiss in the club or just come close, should they kiss in the kitchen, and should they get evolved enough in that kiss for Adora’s hand to reach Catra’s tail. I kind of knew the latter would be too far, but ultimately decided the first two were permissible within their rules.

Meta:

Adora’s floorplan

Upcoming:

Next up will be an OotW oneshot. I’m also working on the Lightbeam sequel fic, and lowkey another AU I’ve been teasing, but I don’t think I'll have time for them before Sapphic September starts and I chip away at some of those prompts, so we'll see what’s going to shove to the forefront first, so stay tuned IG lol

[kaveehs]

Same Old Mistakes — Getou Suguru

fem!reader, she/her pronouns used, wc ≈ 4.6k, angsty with comfort towards the end, previously established relationship, break up, reuniting with an ex, Shoko, Gojo, and Utahime mention, slightly suggestive, reader and gojo have a moment, use of alcohol/mention of getting drunk

synopsis: after the breakup of your long term relationship, you finally decide to go out with your friends. who knew it would lead you right back where you started?

a/n: this fic was originally for the ex's and oh's collab but the creator archived, but i still wanted to share it. it's a bit on the longer side for me but i had a lot of fun writing it!

It’s been 8 months.

The departure happened too quickly for you to realize what occurred, or what could have caused it. You couldn’t deny the fact that despite how long it’s been since you’d last seen your former lover Getou Suguru, you constantly thought of him. 

Everything was perfect on the surface. Suguru was all you desired at the time, coming out of a long-term relationship. In a sense, you were broken pieces for Suguru to collect and bring back together ever so slowly. He was a gentle and understanding man, a sharp contrast from your previous relationship. It was seemingly that way for him too. He made you believe you were perfect in his eyes. You were everything he could’ve ever asked for. You were an angel to him, and he would never leave, until he finally did.

Your thoughts trailed you down a path of regrets. You wondered what you could have possibly done differently to still have him in your life. Groaning at the aching feeling in your head, you glanced over at the time on your phone. It was well past the time you would normally start your day at. You stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom you shared with your roommate Shoko.

“I was worried you wouldn’t get out of bed at all today,” Shoko sighed as she made her way upstairs. “Are you feeling ok?”

“It’s just been a long morning,” you yawned, starting the shower. This wasn't entirely a lie. You did have trouble sleeping the night prior and your thoughts kept you from getting out of bed longer than you had anticipated. Realistically, you could have pushed those thoughts aside and gotten yourself out of bed. 

Shoko finally greeted you through the doorway of the bathroom. The first thing you took notice of was how much she had changed from how you pictured her. Her hair had gotten slightly longer than you remembered, although she still had the same sleepy eyes as always. You bit the inside of your cheek, disappointed in the little attention you were paying to the world around you during this time.

“You were thinking about Suguru again, weren’t you?” Shoko questioned you on the matter with her arms crossed. She’d always been an understanding person to those around her, and it was no different for you. She’d been able to read you like a book since you first met in high school.

“How’d you know,” you said in a tone heavy with sarcasm, despite knowing the answer was obvious.

“Because, that’s all you’ve been doing all this while, especially during these ‘long mornings’.” She had been right. She knew you all too well, especially during these trying times when your thoughts had consumed you. All you could really do was nod at her in a sorry sense of agreement before shutting the bathroom door. You undressed, wincing at the hot shower water hitting your skin. 

“By the way,” Shoko announced from the other side of the door. Her voice sounded slightly distant, as if she was projecting her voice from the staircase of your shared apartment. “Satoru’s going to be here soon. He said he wanted to see you.”

Your eyes widened at your roommate's words. It had indeed been a long while since you had last seen each other, and due to the circumstances, you didn’t know if this was a good or bad thing. He was your former lover’s closest friend— Gojo Satoru. The thought of his carefree, snarky personality always made you roll your eyes. 

“Why does he want to see me?” you shouted over the sound of the water hitting the shower floor.

“Didn’t say. Maybe it’s just been a while.” Shoko finally made it back downstairs. You rinsed your face with the now mild water, attempting to wash away the stress of this entire situation to no avail. You knew in your heart you had to face him eventually, and that time has definitely come now. You inhaled sharply, embracing your moment of solitude in the shower.

What reason could he possibly need to see me for you thought. Yes, it was inevitable eventually but why today of all days. You couldn’t stop yourself from thinking of the possibility that it could be regarding your ex. Around 6 months ago, a similar event did take place, but you never got to see him, as Shoko told him it probably wasn’t a good idea for your own sake. Before you knew it, you were already drying off, hearing distant chatter as you headed towards your room to get dressed.

“Not at all. I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to show up,” you heard the male voice answer a former question as you stepped into the kitchen. As the two heard your footsteps, they looked up at you. Shoko’s eyes had slightly widened, however her calm composer hadn’t left her. Both of her elbows rested on the kitchen’s island while they both sat on bar stools. Gojo on the other hand had the widest smile on his face. “But something in me knew she would come around,” he said as you crossed your arms. You couldn’t help but smile as well. You all had finally reunited after such a long time. Almost all, you had to correct yourself in your head. Suguru was still absent.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it,” you remarked, grabbing the free seat at the head of the table. These were the same spots you all used to sit in when everyone would come around. So much time had passed yet so many things stayed the same, you thought. 

“Sure has been,” Satoru let out one of those overly exaggerated sighs that he always used to do. “Ieiri already filled me in on everything, so we can just pick up right where we left off.”

“What exactly did you say,” you looked over to Shoko. She could sense this question would come eventually.

“There wasn’t really much to say. It’s been the same old,” she shrugged. “We barely see each other for more than an hour a day despite living together.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” you uttered weakly. Her eyes were a little less stoic than before, and a little more sympathetic. Satoru’s smile had also faded at some point. They both hated seeing you like this, rather than your lively self.

“I think you deserve a night out,” he said, resting his cheek on his fist. “That’s actually why I came today.” A puzzled look emerged on your face. There’s no way he was being serious, right?

“You want to invite me out,” you asked in genuine surprise. Gojo nodded enthusiastically. “I appreciate the gesture, and I know why you’re doing it, considering everything, but I don’t know if I’d be up for it–”

“Unfortunately, I’m not going to let you pass on this too.” Shoko interrupted your speech. “I’ll be going to, so we’ll be there together. I think it would be helpful for both of us.” Despite her words, you knew she wasn’t actually going to force you to come with her. You could translate them into her just wanting to spend time with you again. The choice was ultimately yours.

It surprisingly didn’t take you much contemplation to make your decision. Shoko was right– you needed to get out of your own head and into the world again. This was the perfect opportunity to finally let the past go and extinguish the flame. You were going to make the most of all the time you lost in sorrow.

“I’ll go,” the other two smiled at hearing your voice in a positive light. “Where is this place we’re going anyway?”

“You’ll see,” Gojo replied, cheeky smile and all. Your face soured into an annoyed expression.

“You’re not actually going to keep it a surprise, Satoru. You know how much I hate those,” you whined.

“It’s probably just some club,” Shoko let out a breathy sigh. “It’s not like Satoru would be clever enough to plan anything better than that.”

“Yeah yeah,” all Gojo could do was roll his eyes and shake his head, indicating Shoko was actually assuming correctly. You laughed at your friends in front of you. It was just like the old times. 

“I’ll come get you both at 11.” You took a look at time on your phone. Although it was hours away, you mentally prepared yourself for going out again.

Time only seemed to move faster than it normally would throughout the day. You spent the rest of the afternoon cooking while watching a show Shoko had thrown on. When evening came, Shoko read out the ‘don’t forget about tonight’ text she’d received from Gojo as you began to start doing your makeup with her for the outing.

“I don’t even think I have anything to wear anymore,” you croaked, looking over to Shoko who was putting on a silver necklace. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s a bad idea at all. I’ll go into your room and pick something for you,” she softly smiled, before adjusting the necklace and settling down her hair. She walked out the bathroom and made it straight to your room. With your relationship with Shoko, you knew you could confide in her about your doubts and fears.

“I don’t know how or why I agreed to this,” you yelled out to her just loud enough for her to hear from your room. There was no response from her. You thought she was unable to hear you from where you were, so you just kept quiet and continued to put on your makeup. A few minutes went by before she came back and called out your name.

“This would look great on you, I remember when we went to buy this,” she held up a backless black top with a matching leather mini skirt. It was in all sense of the words club attire, something you couldn’t possibly see yourself wearing in the state that you’ve been in. 

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to go out tonight, but I think it’ll be good for you,” Shoko started again, reaching her hands out to lend you the outfit. “The choice is all yours.” You nodded, accepting it into your hands.

“You know me, I’m just all wrapped up in my own head,” you giggled heartfeltly, setting the outfit down on your lap. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ieiri.”

“You’d lock yourself away forever, ‘cause unlike Satoru, you know I can’t convince you to do anything,” she smirked as she touched up her own makeup. “You look way too good tonight to shut yourself in though. Maybe I would’ve had to drag you.” You both bursted out into laughter. “I’ll meet you downstairs, he should be here soon.” Shoko stepped out of the bathroom.

You finished getting ready soon after, slipping on a pair of platform heels you spontaneously found in your closet. You heard the voices of Satoru and Ieiri, prompting you to hurry downstairs.

“I hope you guys weren't waiting for too long,” you uttered breathlessly after making it down the stairs. You looked up only to see the two smiling at you as if they hadn’t seen you in years. Shoko immediately engulfed you into an embrace, the smell of her perfume made you feel even more secure. It seemed as though Gojo’s eyes hadn’t left you either.

“Not at all,” she replied. “I was right about earlier, that you look way too good to shut yourself in.” You both chuckled as she let you go and made her way to the door that Gojo had opened. You couldn’t help but turn your attention to him.

“You’ve been staring at me with that look ever since I got down here, Satoru.” 

“Because you look good,” he whispered just loud enough for you to hear. It was such a simple, off hand comment yet it made you almost freeze in your tracks. “I’m glad to have you back,” he continued as you both locked eyes. You couldn’t think of any words to say— all you could do is smile and roll your eyes at him as you walked out the door.

The ride there was filled with random chats and conversations. These two were incredible at keeping you at ease through this simple part of the night. When you had finally arrived at the club, you felt your nerves return to you like they never truly left. Shoko squeezed your hand in an effort to tell you things were going to be fine, this gesture helped alleviate the tension stored in your body. 

You were granted entry with no problem— the bouncer seemingly took one glance at Gojo and let all three of you in. The bass of the music that blared through the speakers could be felt throughout the whole club. The strobe lights were almost blinding. Your grip on Shoko’s hand tightened as you squeezed through the crowd and to the bar.

“I think Utahime is here,” she leaned in so you could hear her better. “Want to say hi?” You hesitated for a bit. Like Gojo, it had been a long time since you had seen her, maybe even longer. It would be great to see her again, but you weren’t entirely sure if you were ready yet.

“Sure, I’ll come find you later,” you answered, taking a seat at the bar. She nodded, giving Gojo a stern look as if to say ‘Make sure she doesn’t overdo it’ as she turned and disappeared in the crowd.

“Sorry you’re on babysitting duty,” you joked after asking for a drink. Gojo was dressed in a fitted white button down with a window of his chest exposed, typical clubbing attire on his part. His rectangular blacked out frames rested on his nose bridge, although you could still see his eyes.

“Don’t be like that,” he laughed while receiving a drink from the bartender. You assumed it was his signature, seeing as he seemed to be a regular here. “It’s been such a long time, I could never get sick of seeing your face.” You turned your chair towards him, thanking him for getting you out the house tonight.

“Drinks are on me tonight,” he spoke again. “Just try not to drink too much, or Ieiri might actually kill me.”

Conversation seemed to flow so easily, as if there’d been no lost time between you two at all. The more you both drank, the more you talked about anything you possibly could. It was the first time your mind had been so free these past 8 months. Suguru hadn’t crossed your mind once while you listened to Gojo talk on and on. It felt amazing to finally focus on something else— more specifically on someone else for a change.

“Come, dance with me,” he suddenly leaned into your ear. You could feel a smirk develop against it as you got up and took his hand. He led you to the outskirts of the dance floor, further from everyone else. He made it easy to focus on him— the fresh smell of his cologne filled your senses as you kept your eyes solely on his tall frame. You found your body swaying to the natural flow of the music.

“I wish we’d done this sooner,” your soft voice made you wonder if he could hear you over the music. “I missed this.”

“I know,” he pulled your body closer to his. The smell of the alcohol you both had consumed earlier lingered on his lips. “I’ve missed you.” The smug grin on his face only grew more apparent when he witnessed your cute reaction to his words. Satoru had always been known as someone who was lightweight, but it was hard to tell if it was the drinks talking or if he really did mean what he said.

“Are you already drunk Satoru?” you furrowed your brows at him as your eyes traced his features. You even found yourself slurring on your own words while you questioned his sincerity. You slowed down your movements with the beat of the song, but also because he’d piqued your curiosity.

“Only a little tipsy,” he bluffed as his hand trailed over to your lower back. You looked down at his hand, then back to him as you felt your distance close in. His other hand trailed from your upper thigh to your waist. His touch left behind a satisfying sensation— it’d been so long since you felt another person’s hands on you like this. You truly had no room to think of anything else but him. Despite being as close as you were, bodies pressed against one another, you noticed he wasn’t looking down at you anymore— instead straight ahead. You didn’t pay much mind to it until you heard someone speak.

“You’re awfully handsy with her,” you heard a male voice from behind you. Sure, you were startled, however it wasn’t the suddenness that made you stop moving. 

It was how familiar the voice sounded. 

Everything from the tone to the pitch sounded familiar. You tried to ignore the details but you couldn’t. You knew exactly who was behind you.

“Suguru, you’re finally here,” Gojo confirmed your suspicions with the name. It was him. “I didn’t think you’d make it.” His voice was as casual as ever, as if he knew Suguru would be here and would see you. Your mind went back to the word ‘finally’ that he had said. Did he know this would happen? “I’ll give you two some space to talk, yeah?” There was no doubt in your mind now that he planned for this whole exchange to take place.

“How about we go somewhere quieter,” your thoughts were interrupted by the voice of your former lover while he reached out his hand for you to take. Of course, you were reluctant to take his hand and he knew this. You had every reason in the world not to after all, 8 months of no contact at all and suddenly he’s right in front of you again. Still, his eyes were just as convincing as they were when you were with him. You were hurt and confused, and your heart ached to take his hand. You needed answers, you thought as your hand met his ever so slowly. The familiar feeling of the warmth from his hand engulfed your own.

He led you astray to a private area, stumbling far enough to where the music became muffled and faded in the background. The area was dimly lit, however you were still able to make out the figure of the man in front of you clearly. Once you both stopped moving, you swiftly let go of his hand, sinking down into the booth in the room. He sat a ways away from you, however he rested his arm closest to you on top of the booth, right where your head was. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the predicament you were in.

"I didn't think you'd show up, let alone with Satoru," he remarked. You could feel his eyes staring down at you, but you didn’t look up into his eyes.

“Why does it matter,” you asserted, thinking back to the idea of Gojo planning out this whole event. Was Shoko aware? Was she in on it too? You subconsciously bit your inner cheek to prevent yourself from asking any more questions.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting to see you with him, bodies all pressed up against each other,” he voiced so matter-of-factly, which annoyed you to no end.

“Again, why does it matter? We’re not together anymore,” You sat up a bit, feeling his stationary hand brush against the back of your head when you did.

“So you’re with Satoru now?” his question sounded more like a statement.

“No,” you scoffed, your eyes finally met his. “I haven’t seen him in like six months, so your jealousy is pointless.” The expression of relief on his face baffled you. Truly, why did he care so much about whatever you decide to do after the break up.

“It matters because he’s a good friend of mine, or did you forget that,” he analyzed you with a smirk growing on his face.

“I guess I have selective memory.”

“You’re the same as always, as stubborn as ever.” A chuckle erupted from his lips as you shot him a nasty glare. His whole demeanor confused you– he was as calm and collected as ever despite your obvious disdain towards him. He was just like this in the past too, always maintaining a calm and gentle persona.

“I’ve missed you, you know,” his tone suddenly got softer and quieter as he fixed his eyes on you. His words were laced with a sweetness that was almost hypnotic, it didn’t waver even when you tried to pay him no attention whatsoever. However, opposite to the comforting nature of his words, they made your heart painfully swell.

“Cut the shit Suguru,” you bursted, turning your full body towards him. “If you really cared about me you wouldn’t have left the way you did. For the past 8 months my mind has been filled with nothing but you. So don’t tell me you miss me.” In the heat of the moment, tears released from your eyes, carrying the remnants of your mascara down your cheeks with them. You helplessly tried to wipe them away. It was pathetic for you to cry in front of him you thought, but you could practically feel the guilt permeating from him.

“Tell Satoru his plan was stupid,” you sniffled as you got up and attempted to make your way to the door. The feeling of warmth returned to your wrist, as you turned to see Getou got up and stopped you. His grip wasn’t firm at all, it would be easy for you to get out of it with minimal effort– you just couldn’t bring yourself to do so. You stayed unmoving as he wrapped his arms around you, but this action triggered your tears to start again. Your head was buried in his chest as you silently sobbed, your arms laid limp at your side– too emotionally exhausted to even react to him saying he was sorry. “I hate that I missed you so much,” you weakly mumbled as you felt one of his hands caress your head in an effort to console you.

You shouldn’t be doing this— shouldn’t be here with him right now at this moment. You thought the flame that was once lit between you two had been permanently extinguished, but his touch ignited the spark all over again. You shouldn’t still love his touch the way you do. You shouldn’t still love him the way you do.

“I’ve already made an unforgivable mistake when leaving you once. I can’t let myself repeat that and let you go home by yourself in this state. Let me at least drop you at your place.”

Your conscience knew being dropped off by him was the best decision for you. Slowly pushing yourself away from his chest, you nodded as you took his hand yet again. He led you outside the club, into the now rain-filled night. The light from the moon illuminated his silhouette as he rushed you to his car. By the time you made it to his passenger seat, you were both slightly drenched from the rain. Only the patter of the rain could be heard throughout the ride, soothing you as your eyes slowly shut.

You woke up in the comfort of your bed, dressed up in a pair of your pajamas. The time of day was way later than you anticipated, unsurprising for how much you had drank last night. From the moment you opened your eyes, your head began throbbing. This is probably what Shoko wanted you to avoid– a nasty hangover. Stumbling out of bed, you immediately made your way down to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“Why would you plan something like that and not tell me first? Imagine how bad that could have been for her,” you heard the voice of Shoko say. When you fully opened your eyes, you saw her, Gojo, and Getou all seated by the kitchen’s island table. They were too wrapped up in your conversation to realize you were there until you sat at the table with your glass of water.

“My head is killing me,” you groaned as the three looked over to you, startled by your sudden presence.

“Thanks for not doing the one thing I asked of you, Satoru,” Shoko mumbled. He threw his arms up defensively while utterly a slew of apologies. Being honest, you couldn’t be mad at him for it, as you were fully aware of how much you were drinking.

Getou sat across from you at the other side of the table. Neither of you said anything, or more or less looked at each other. The other two fell silent as they noticed this. Gojo gave Shoko the all knowing ‘we should let them talk it out’ look, to which she complied. “We’ll be back,” she said, her tone filled with annoyance. They both left out the front door.

The silence returned as soon as it left. Maybe you were both contemplating what to say first, tiptoeing around what would have been the most important topic of discussion— the feeling of you both missing each other. 

“Did you sleep okay?” He was the first to speak. You hummed, nodding your head.

“Did you stay the night?” He nodded as you nonchalantly tapped on your glass of water. You both still didn’t have the heart to look at each other.

“I’m sorry,” he confessed. You looked up at him as he sat up.

“For what?” You weren’t trying to be snarky with your response. There was so much he could possibly be apologizing for, so you didn’t know exactly what to say.

“For everything. You don’t have to forgive me, but I am sorry.” His eyes were ridden with extreme guilt.

“A simple ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t going to fix everything. I just want to know why you did it,” you retorted as you crossed your arms. 

“I felt like I wasn’t enough for you,” he explained. “I wasn’t sure I could continue giving you the love you deserved in the state I was in, and I didn’t want to hurt you, but that’s exactly what I ended up doing. In hindsight, I should have talked it out with you.” His perspective saddened you a bit, as you didn’t see the faults he saw in himself. You were happy as long as you were both together.

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” you answered in response. Quiet filled the room yet again as you both became drowned in your thoughts, long enough for Gojo and Shoko to return. They both didn’t say anything, but you could feel Gojo’s eyes stare at you in anticipation.

“I don’t want to give you the satisfaction of thinking your plan worked,” you rolled your eyes as you broke the silence. “Wanting us to be okay again is asking for a lot.” Your words caused a chain reaction of laughter starting with Gojo.

Even though you did mean what you said, you couldn’t help but enjoy this fleeting moment where everything seemed to be normal again. It was going to take a while for the group to return to this, maybe even forever. Yet with whatever happens, you hoped it would always be the four of you, together.

[darksigns-exe]

the kind of love i've been dreamin' of - darius tehrani x f!reader

warnings: 2.5k

word count: Swearing, alcohol consumption, fingering (f receiving), protected intercourse

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You’ve ended up here as a favour. Your friend had helped you move, and in turn you’d agreed to go to this get-together with them. Even if you could imagine so many other things you’d rather do on this Friday evening. But you’re here now, and you’re going to sit through it like the good friend you are. 

You realise a little too late in the evening that the man you’ve been loosely flirting with was your host for the evening. Aside from the fact that he’s physically attractive, you find yourself drawn to the deep, rumbling laughter that falls from him when you tell him about your unfortunate encounter with a Paris metro door. 

There’s an intense draw to him, the attention he awards you makes your tummy flutter and your cheeks tinge pink, and you’re sure that he takes absolute delight in hearing you stumble over your worlds. 

As the evening crawls on and people slowly depart, you move over into the living room. You still find yourself next to Darius. Somehow, you’re even closer now. His knee keeps bumping into yours when he talks, and the constant touch makes you a little dizzy. 

Somehow you end up as the last person. Your friend hand long said goodbye, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to go with them. And he'd looked so relieved when you had said that you’d stay for a while longer. 

And now here you are and suddenly awfully aware of how close you are to him. Your mind swims with wine and need, and taking your hand off his knee feels like the worst idea to you. Moving away from him in any way feels like a bad idea. 

You’re not entirely sure how you ended up being the last person here. When your friend has asked you to come with them to his get-together you’d planned to stay until desert and now here you were drunk on good wine, getting handsy with the host you’ve met maybe six hours ago. 

Darius had wrapped you around his finger a little too easily. Between the wine and a somewhat recent breakup, you’d been very susceptible to his flirting, regardless of how subtle it was. 

By now he’s crowding into your space, and under normal circumstances he’d be way too close for someone you barely know. But with how much your head already spins, you can’t bring yourself to complain. 

The proximity makes you dizzy. 

You throw the rest of your wine back. A droplet slips past your lips, trailing down your skin until it’s brushed away by his finger. 

“Careful.” He says quietly, “Don’t wanna stain that shirt.”

The finger slips past his own wine stained lips, and you can’t tear your eyes away from the scene in front of you. 

He catches you looking at him, meets your stare with an intensity that almost makes you disappear into the ground. 

You feel your stomach drop. The tension between you has been building all night. It all seems to culminate at this moment. He carefully tucks a few stands of your hair behind your ear, leaving his palm to rest against your cheek. 

“Can I kiss you?” He asks softly. 

His eyes flit across your face, never stopping in one place for long. He’s so close already. 

“Please.” You find yourself sighing. 

You swear that you see the faintest trace of a smile on his lips before he moves in. To your surprise, he’s so very gentle. His lips feel so soft against yours and god you could lose yourself in the feeling. The warmth of his palm against your cheek fills your head with fuzz. 

You’re breathless when you part again. The way he looks at you is dizzying. 

“I’ve been thinking about that all night.” He sounds surprisingly sheepish, eyes cast low to where your hands fiddle with a loose piece of thread on your jeans. 

“Darius.” You return his earlier gesture and bring your hand to the side of his face, making him look at you, “Kiss me again?”

A heart beat later, he’s on you again. His hands cup the sides of your face as you kiss. You can taste the wine, the faint trace of tobacco from the cigarette you’d shared earlier on his lips and tongue. He leans closer into your space, forcing you to lean back. You can find a good place to hold on to when you feel yourself falling backwards. The squeak you let out when you collide with the sofa should have been a little embarrassing, but you can’t bring yourself to care a whole lot. 

Darius pulls away just enough to speak, “We have to stop.”

He looks so awfully torn up about it. You know that the sensible thing would be to stop this while you still have your wits about you. You’re both drunk, you barely know him, but nothing in you wants to leave. You bring your hands to the back of his neck. 

“What if I don’t want to?” You ask, gently pulling him back down to you. 

His lips meet yours in a brief kiss. 

“I don’t — I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I won’t.” You promise, once again pulling him closer to you.

He lets out a quiet curse, before he dips back down to kiss you again. You thread your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck to keep him close. The warm, woody notes of his cologne wrap themselves around your senses. His body blankets yours entirely, and you feel yourself getting lost in the way he kisses you. 

His hands roam across your sides, pushing at your shirt to reach the skin beneath. Your fingers dig into his back, trying to find some kind of purchase. Darius grinds down against you, and you’re suddenly so very aware of how much he’s already affected by you. From your lips, his descend along your jaw and neck. In your already dizzied mind, you tear at the tie that holds his hair up. The curls fall, dramatic, like the final curtain on a theatre stage. He looks almost frenzied when his head whips up to face you. 

“Do you have a condom?” You’re not sure where the sense is finally coming from. You’re glad that you’ve found it, though. 

The question seems to clear up his mind in no time. 

“Shit of course. Yes. Give me — give me a moment. I’ll get one.” 

He takes a moment to gather himself and steals another kiss from you before he lifts himself from the sofa. You watch him round the corner and disappear into the dark hallway. You take the time to strip out of jeans, the shirt you’re wearing is oversized enough to still leave some things to the imagination so you don’t feel entirely exposed. 

When he comes back a moment later, his shirt is already gone, exposing his lean torso. You watch curiously as he moves through the room. The subtly shifting muscle keeps your eyes focused on him, and you can’t stop your hands from wandering across your belly. Darius stops in his tracks when your fingers start to creep higher. 

“Starting without me?”

You keep your eyes fixed on him while you let your fingers drift across your skin. His lips are parted ever so slightly in anticipation, and you swear that you hear him let out a sigh when you pull off your shirt. He’s back onto you a moment later. He struggles out of his trousers, unwilling to part from you for too long. Your legs wrap around his waist as soon as he’s bared to you. You take the foil wrapper from his hands. He’s straining against the fabric of his boxers, and you can tell that he’s by no means small. It’s a little intimidating. You can’t stop yourself from brushing your fingers against the imprint of his cock. Darius pulls in a sharp breath at your touch. His eyes are focused on yours when you look up at him. 

You tug down his boxers, freeing the length of his cock. The noise he lets out when you wrap your hand around him makes you shudder. You give him a few more strokes, before you tear open the wrapper. You roll the condom onto his length. Darius leans down for another kiss. This one just as soft as the last. One of his hands remains on your side, while the other slithers between your thighs. 

He makes quick work of you, easing two fingers into your. He shifts when you pull him down for another kiss, moving his hand next to your head to keep himself upright. 

“Does that feel good?” He asks softly, “Not too much?”

“It’s good.” The words come out slurred and muddled. 

If his fingers already feel so good inside of you, how will the rest of him feel?

You can tell that he’s growing restless too, the rhythm of his hands becomes unsteady, a little too fast for what he’s doing. His eyes flicker between your face and where his fingers work in and out of you. 

“Darius please.” You whine, digging your fingers into his shoulder. 

“I know – just a moment longer.” His words trail off into a groan when you clench around his fingers, “God fuck you feel so good. Is that good?”

His fingers curl inside you so deliciously, hitting all the right spots. You can only whine in response. And your body follows his fingers when they finally retreat, pulling a deep chuckle from him. 

“Be patient.” He hums, as he comes down to kiss you again, “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

You give him a faint nod. 

Darius dips down to steal another kiss from you. You watch as his hand wraps around his cock, giving it a few haphazard strokes before he guides the head down towards your entrance. His thumb presses against your clit, making you sigh so sweetly. Darius’ head drops back when he eases the head into you. Your hand wraps around his arm, trying to ground yourself as your mind threatens to drift off into pure bliss. The stretch is almost too much, but he’s so careful with it that you find yourself pushing past the ache. His quiet curses make you dizzy. Seeing him so affected by you makes your head swim.

The furrow in his brow dissolves when he’s properly seated inside of you. He sets himself upright, eyes drifting across your outstretched body beneath him. His hands drift across your tummy. 

“Look at you.” He mumbles, “So beautiful.”

“Should see yourself. ” you reply, finding yourself sounding more confident than you had anticipated. 

And really, he is a sight to behold. A few stray curls stick to his forehead, his lips are parted just enough for you to see his tongue dip out to wet them. You can’t stop yourself from tracing a finger across his sternum. Darius draws in a trembling breath at your touch. His hips tick forward, making you whine out. 

He pulls out until just the head remains lodged inside of you. Your legs wind around his waist as he sinks back into you, this time with a little more force. The weight of his body, when he leans over you, makes it all feel so much more intense. Your hands dig into his shoulders, nails pressing crescent moons into his skin. His lips find the side of your neck. You’re sure that you’ll find your skin littered with marks come tomorrow morning, but you can’t bring yourself to care about that, not when you can already feel that knot in your belly tightening. 

Darius’ hand grips into your thigh, pressing it up against your chest. You somehow manage to wrap your legs around his waist, keeping him close to you. He seems to be more than willing to give you what you’re asking for. Every thrust he gives into you rocks your body against the cushions of the sofa. You’re not sure how he does it, but he seems to be able to read your body perfectly. This man you’ve met only a few hours ago is already treating you better than the person you’ve spent the last three years with. He’s just rough enough with you for it to be pleasant, and you’re glad that he’s not treating you like a fragile little thing. 

You tangle your hand into his hair once again to urge his lips back down to yours. The kiss is more teeth and tongue than lips. Your head tips back when he grazes his teeth against the edge of your jaw. 

Between the sounds of his skin making contact with yours over and over and over again and the steady flow of moans that falls from both of you, you find yourself crawling closer and closer towards your climax. You barely notice the stutter in his hips when you bring your hand to the side of his face. 

“Close.” you choke out, “Don’t stop.” 

Darius lets out a breathless laugh, “Good – fuck you feel so good. Right behind you.” 

He feels impossibly good inside of you. The stretch, the angle – it’s all too good. 

“Is this good? Do you need more?” he sounds so stretched thin and breathless. 

“So good.” you sigh, pulling him back down. 

He shifts just a little bit, changing the angle just enough to send you over the edge. You’re sure that you black out for a moment. You know that your fingers dig into his back, that his face is buried against your neck, but apart from that the world fades entirely into the background. 

His thrusts slow down until he stills entirely. For a long moment, he remains hovering above you. The warmth that radiates off his body seeps into yours and when he finally looks at you again you feel as if everything has changed. 

Darius eases himself out of you, soothing his hand across your side when you wince. 

“I know, baby.” he speaks softly, “That’s it.”

He slumps down on the other end of the sofa, drawing in a deep breath, before he turns to look at you. 

When you’d normally go searching for your clothes, you find yourself so very comfortable in front of him. There’s a soft warmth in the way he looks at you, and it feels so deeper than it should considering that you’ve only met him today. 

The tender moment tears when he eventually gets up, letting you know that he’ll be right back. While he’s gone, you gather your clothes. You’re just pulling up your panties when he returns. The sweatpants he’d pulled on hang low on his hips, hiding virtually nothing. 

You’re not sure where this leaves you. It’ll be good if it remains a one time thing, but at the same time it would be an absolute shame.

He speaks up just as you reach for your jeans, “Do you want to stay here tonight? It’s late and –”

“I’ll stay under one condition.” 

Darius perks up at that, “And that would be?”

“Take me out on a date?” 

Obvious relief washes over his face, and he flashes you a soft smile. 

“Gladly. As many as you want.” 

You wake up well into the day to an empty bed. The sun breaks through the partially opened curtains, and you feel as if you could rest here forever. It takes you a moment to realise that you aren’t in your own bedroom. Slowly, the memories of the previous night flood back into your mind. And you can’t shake the feeling that this night has changed everything. You let yourself reminisce until the scent of freshly brewed coffee drags you towards the kitchen. You find Darius, still only clad in sweatpants, tending to something on the stove. It’s so awfully domestic, and you cannot tear your eyes away from him. 

He does notice you eventually, and you’re handed your own cup of coffee. You hope that the late breakfast you share won’t be the last one, and not just because it’s that good. 

Eventually, you realise that you will have to leave at some point. When you announce that you’ll head home in a bit, Darius offers to drop you off at your place as you had arrived with your friend. You gladly take him up on the offer if only to extend the time you get with him. 

He leaves you with the promise that you’ll go out before the end of the week. And after a rather sweet kiss to your cheek you say your goodbyes. You’re barely up the stairs and behind your own door when a text from him pops up on the screen of your phone. 

Can’t wait to see you again. How do you feel about hotpot?

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