#i feel like my response is poopoo but

[supportingfire]

he's not home yet - but the instructions were clear that night: a request for thoma to occupy his bedroom regardless of how late he might arrive. not that it was outside the norm for him to do so, but ayato was explicit in his requests - so much so that he listed the time, the state of dress he'd prefer his lover (nothing), and a very, very detailed and verbose outline of... how to ready himself for whatever ayato might have had planned for when he did show back up.

despite his absence, three items rest upon his retainer's pillow (who brought them in is anyone's guess) when he does choose to arrive. the first: a red wrapped bouquet, windwheel asters (preserved with meticulous dendro energy) mixed with sprigs from the sakura tree that stood sentinel in ayato's private garden. the second, a small box of chocolates mixed with liquor from fontaine (untouched by ayato's devious hands), and the third...

carefully pillowed upon vestiges of deep blue velvet lay a simple dark collar and leash - soft leather unadorned by patterns apart from the kamisato emblem tooled near the buckle. cheeky of ayato, as always, to accentuate any sort of romance with his... sexual proclivities. but what was most curious was in the corner of same container rest a small divet... where a ring might of rested. and yet, that item seemed to be missing from the gift. but it mattered not - ayato's demands had been clear: put the collar on, undress. and wait.

luckily for thoma, the yashiro commissioner was intent on hurrying home that night.

ayato being away from the estate on business was not a new venture, nor would it stop any time soon, so thoma can't exactly be disappointed the man would be absent their first valentine's as an official couple. the "holiday" was mostly a mondstadt custom anyway, but other nations had adopted the symbolic day of love and friendship. thoma would never put personal needs above that of the clan, the commission, and he takes pride knowing when his lover does return, he will have ayato all to himself. thoma will give his gifts then, and they can celebrate in their own time. which is why he takes to his tasks for the day with an upbeat attitude, like always, and completes most of his chores before dusk has arrived.

after a shower and a light snack, he returns to their quarters to find items laid out for him on his side of the bed. impossible to miss, as they hadn't been there thirty minutes ago. eyes gravitate instantly to the fresh flowers, mind remembering how they smell before he even brings them to his nose. he inhales deep the scent of home, of a part of his youth he cherishes like gold, along with a hint of something familiar. something that smells like his home, now. sakura. the lengths ayato must have gone to to get not just one, but an entire fresh bouquet of windwheels was no small feat. thoma has to stop before continuing his investigation further to procure a vase from the connected bathroom, setting the windwheels and sakuras in the clear glass container to safely place them on the nearby nightstand.

chocolates, next. typical for the day, he thinks, but sweet (literally) nonetheless. and the kind were exquisite, also imported, and probably cost a pretty mora or two to bring to inazuma. their borders may be open now, but it hasn't been long, and trade is still trying to catch up. ayato wasted no expense to procure the indulgent treats for him, and it makes retainer feel a warmth that had nothing to do with his vision. the man could have given thoma socks for all he cared, any gift ayato put thought into to give to him was cherished. thoma feels a little sheepish when he considers the winter coat he purchased, and the yukata he'd sewn for ayato's own gifts. it didn't seem like enough in return…ah, but there was more still. gaze falls to the last item laid out for him, and the card along with it.

briefly, he wonders what poor sap had been wrangled to drop off these items in such a way, considering maybe an apology was in order...there was no way one could mistake the collar and leash as one for a common dog. the leather was immaculate, too well-made to be used on an animal, not to mention the neck looked large. and the most glaring fact of all - they didn't own a dog. as thoma reads the incredibly in-depth description of what ayato wants when he returns, a mixture of excitement and sheepishness wash over him. he was returning tonight, how long did thoma have to prepare? he's already showered…archons, that man. damn how well ayato knew him, for thoma's mind is already racing at the possibilities. fingers fondle the soft leather strap of the leash, feeling a heat settle in his gut like fresh tea. the excitement for what's to come almost overwhelmed him as he secured the collar around his neck, he had to take a moment to focus, before he began preparing for ayato's return.

thoma, of course, does exactly as he's told, ready to spend the long evening with his lord commissioner and their non-existent dog.

[aohisworld]

BROKEN CD

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ when the world picks on Aohi, she crumbles gently, and Ri-ki’s there to put her back together, piece by piece.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ nishimura ri-ki x addedmember!oc. mentions of poly!ot7 x addedmember!oc, contains. cringe writing, angst (as always).

| : ̗̀➛ MINTIE’s NOTES: a little self-indulgent because I feel like poopoo honestly 😞 I apologize if this mini- drabble? fic? Is short, I really barely have any time to write to my pieces, and I can only offer you guys these small little fics 😭

| : ̗̀➛ WARNING! How I write ENHYPEN is not meant to portray the idols irl, this is my au and I write this for fun.

✧. ┊    No one’s a stranger to the familiar feeling of coming back down from a successful peak, the sudden feeling of clouded thoughts or the slow burn-out of your sociality or productivity being a familiar dull sting to your body and mind.

And sometimes you can’t understand just why you have to burn out, and with that comes along frustrations, anger, the tantrums inside your mind when nothing goes your way when you’ve already had a bad day.

Aohi’s world dulls to grey for a little while, the exhausting schedule and the upcoming recording for memorabilia took a lot out of her.

All she wanted was to sleep, maybe for a week straight, if she could, she’d hibernate like a bear. Aohi knows she can’t though, engenes would miss her too much.

Despite her frustrations with the slightly wrong tones or the wrong words being sung out, she trudges on, continuing to work, to rewrite, to practice.

She’s repaid by the loss of her voice, and recording’s been pulled back a week later due to the sudden situation. Aohi sits in her seat speechless when her manager explains it on the way to the studio.

“But then, why am I going if I’m being put on vocal rest?” Aohi’s voice croaks out. In a comical way, she sounded like a Justin Bieber when he was in his teens, cracking and going airy from time to time.

“I didn’t want you to come in either, but the studio was insistent on it,” Aohi groans, despite how hurtful it was on her throat. “Trust me, I tried to fight for a day off, all I could do was move your session to a later time tomorrow.”

“I can’t even do anything at the studio, the whole point of a vocal rest is so I could rest!”

“First off, stop yelling, don’t use your voice-“ Her manager looked up at the rear view mirror, shooting her a glance that told Aohi to fix her attitude.

"Second, just get through this recording, it'll be over before you know it.."

Aohi just rolled her eyes, feeling already irked that she had to come in today. Aohi stared out the window as she ended up tuning out her manager’s voice and locking herself inside her mind.

There wasn’t much to do for her especially when she had a sore throat, even if she could, Aohi doubts her current health would even be able to keep up with anything.

“Aohi, let’s go.” Her manager could be heard unbuckling her seatbelt, Aohi following. Aohi grabbed her phone and opened her car door, squinting at the bright sun.

Her instant response to the sudden rays was to put up her hoodie, entering the studio.

“Batsy!” Sunoo chirps, reaching for the girl before any of the other guys could call for her, and with her call, Aohi gravitates towards Sunoo, his arms taking her in like a cuddly bear.

“I missed you..” Aohi mumbled into his clothes, and Sunoo just hums and kisses her forehead, “gonna keep with the PDA or are we actually recording?” Xiulin amusingly spoke from behind the two.

And it would’ve been funny, if Aohi hadn’t hissed back at her. “Unnie, respectfully shut up.” Aohi replied with a hoarse voice, and Sunoo was taken aback by her sudden reply. Xiulin must’ve been as well, looking at Aohi with widened eyes.

Aohi’s furrowed brows seemed to soften after realizing the stunned faces across the room, and she sighs, pulling away from Sunoo.

“Sorry, unnie… i just… don’t feel well.” Aohi walks into the studio booth trying to rubbing her temple with a frown. Xiulin was still waiting out her aftershock as she just watched her dongsaeng walk away.

“What’s her problem?” Ri-ki pointed his thumb at Aohi inside the booth, looking towards the boys who looked equally confused. “I know manager-nim said she wasn’t feeling well… but she’s never snapped at me like that before.” Xiulin frowns at the booth door, rubbing at her neck in discomfort.

“It’s okay noona, I’m sure Aohi just didn’t feel up to the teasing, you know how she is..” Jungwon tries to ease Xiulin’s feelings, patting the older girl’s back to comfort her.

“We’ll talk to her, don’t worry.” Sunoo added, giving Xiulin a gentle and reassuring smile as the group trailed into the booth.

Aohi sat in one of the couches, trying keep to herself, quietly playing on her phone. The boys looked to each other, trying to figure out how to approach the girl without already irking her more than she already was.

“Heeseung-ssi, Xiulin-ssi, we can record your lines now.” One of the producers called the eldest of the hyung and maknae line to come in, and Xiulin glanced at Aohi, who glances at her and Heeseung.

Aohi quickly darts her gaze back onto her phone as she tries to focus on her games, trying to get the day to go by faster.

Xiulin sighs, looking towards Heeseung who was already waiting by the booth, he mouths to her as if to tell her, that the boys will handle it while they’re gone, and not to worry too much.

Jay decides to make a move towards Aohi, sitting beside her with caution. Aohi squirms at the sudden dip in the couch, but refuses to look up anyway.

“Batsy.. look at me, baby..” Jay encouraged, his hands gently reaching for her tense ones. “You want to tell me what’s wrong?.. we just want to help, Aohi, baby.” Aohi feels rather suffocated in Jay’s hold, and she knows he doesn’t mean to cage her in, but she feels like she can’t breathe.

Aohi shakes her head, trying to pull away from his hold, and Jay’s eyebrow twitches, his first indication that something was worse than just annoyance or tiredness. She mumbled something that Jay couldn’t decipher, he leans even closer.

Jay knew that even if Aohi was annoyed, she’d never turn down any of his hugs, even going as far to tell him that he’s the best at cuddling besides Ri-ki.

“Look at me, Batsy.” Jay reaches for her face, his gentle fingers barely touching her cheeks when Aohi slaps them away. “I told you to leave me alone!” Aohi’s voice croaks loudly, and Jake stands up from his spot in the room.

Her hand reaches to push Jay away, who seemed hurt at the way Aohi raises her voice at him. Despite being scolded by Aohi before, it never sounded worse like it did at this moment.

Aohi’s hand is stopped by Jake’s hand around her wrist, and her attention’s turned from Jay to Jake, trying to pull her wrist away from him.

“Let go!”

“Aohi, that’s enough! We’re just trying to help you!” Jake holds her tighter, and Aohi squeezes her eyes tight, letting out a sob. “I don’t want your help!” Aohi stands up from her spot, shoving Jake away.

Jake toppled over a few instruments, hissing at the impact. “Hyung!” Jungwon and Sunghoon quickly stood up, rushing to Jake’s side. Aohi’s breath hitches, and she sniffles, glancing around, Sunoo and Ri-ki looking at her with disbelief.

Aohi could feel her heart beating with intensity as she only looks for her only escape, running out of the room to the front door.

She has no idea where to run, but her legs certainly aren’t stopping, Aohi doesn’t register which way she goes, turning all sorts of corners, and the sun blinding her.

Soon enough, her body stops running, and Aohi has no clue where she is, she sits on a random bench, the area seemed deserted, some patches of weed growing through the brick path she ran down on.

Aohi brings her legs up on the bench, and she remembers that she’s left her phone at the studio with everyone else, and the air doesn’t do much to calm her.

She digs her face into her knees, and she could feel the familiar sting of tears in her eyes and she squeals into her knees, as if angry that she’s crying.

Aohi has no idea why she’s been so upset lately, maybe she needed to be alone for a while, or maybe Aohi felt like the world hasn’t been so nice to her lately. She’s tired, so tired.

Aohi just wanted to rest for a little while, and she can’t do that when her company wants her to go to these recordings despite putting her on vocal rest.

Aohi can’t afford to go home right now either, for one, she has no clue where she is and Aohi knows that she needs a ride to even get back to the apartments.

She only whimpers, and lets herself cry into her arms, pitiful sobs leaving like a lullaby from her lips. Aohi’s back shakes as her sobs continue, and she realizes that she can’t even stop herself or quiet herself.

And in an ironic way, the world sends a somewhat comforting breeze to her side, despite being certainly mean to her the couple of days, Aohi takes the breeze with gusto, sniffling as she’s blanketed with the wind.

Aohi cries her pretty little heart out in a deserted part of this random park, and she cries and cries until her eyes tire out, Aohi can feel the creeping tiredness loom over her as her eyes don’t fight the urge to close, to get sleep.

She just lets it happen as her eyes blanket her vision with darkness, and she sniffles once more, the need to sleep heavy and she doesn’t fight.

The sun’s starting to come down, and Aohi can barely register the muffled call of her name. Aohi could feel the approaching headache from dehydration, obviously from crying her eyes out the previous hours, but she looks up anyway.

“Aohi.. wake up, damn it..” Ri-ki curses, and he sits beside her balled figure on the bench, he runs his hands through his hair, sighing out of worry and concern.

“nini…” Aohi mumbled out, and her voice is still coarse, maybe even worse than it was the last time Ri-ki heard it. Ri-ki stops himself from softening at the nickname she calls him, one that she got from other fan accounts on Twitter, thinking it was adorable.

“Do you know how fucking worried we were?…” Ri-ki breathlessly spoke, and he gently placed a hand on her cheek, his eyebrows furrowed. Aohi whimpered, digging her cheek into his palm anyway.

“I’m sorry, nini…” Ri-ki curses under his breath, and he takes off his jacket, placing it over Aohi’s body, he felt the alarming heat of her body on his palm, he stands up from the bench and takes his arms under Aohi’s knees and supporting her back.

He lifts her up with a huff, carrying Aohi bridal style. “Don’t think just because you’re sick means you’re off the hook for running like that.” Ri-ki walks down the familiar path, the sun was going down and soon enough, he won’t be able to see the path out of the deserted park.

“You worried the fuck out of everyone… Jay and Jake were out in the cold for hours, you left your phone so we couldn’t even…” Ri-ki blinked his tears away, the worry and the thought that something could’ve happened to Aohi overwhelming him.

“We couldn’t track you down, and who knows where the hell you could’ve gone?…” Aohi, despite being too tired out of her mind and sleepy, felt guilty anyways, she felt stupid for running then, and she still felt stupid now.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if I couldn’t find you… hell, what would we tell the engenes? you hate disappointing them..” Ri-ki grits his teeth, it takes a little while for them to regroup with the others, and Ri-ki had gone silent from walking for a bit and he finally walks out to a familiar path, seeing the boys and Xiulin waiting anxiously by the van.

“You found her!" Heeseung sighed in relief, jogging up to the two, Aohi seemed to knock out on the walk, and Heeseung reaches to check on her.

"She's burning.." Heeseung curses, and he walks to the van and opens the door, "Let's get her home before she gets worse." Sunoo agrees, nodding as he climbs into the vehicle, helping Ri-ki climb in with Aohi in his hold.

"Careful.. she's going to bump her head.." Sunoo whispers, placing his hands on her head, looking at Aohi with worry in his eyes.

The boys and Xiulin are silently driven home by their staff, and they all apologize to the staff member for keeping them waiting as Ri-ki, bowed, before walking up to the apartment.

"Ri-ki-yah.. I can carry her.." Sunghoon offered from beside him, and he shakes his head, just continuing to walk up to their dormitory, which Jungwon opens for the youngest.

"Wait! You should bring her to our dorm, I can't take care of her from your dorms.." Xiulin voiced, and the boys turn to her, "Noona, don't worry about it, I'm sure you're tired, me and the hyungs will take care of her." Ri-ki shoots their eldest girl a reassuring look, and Xiulin can't help but sigh.

"But-" Jay shakes his head, asking Xiulin not to fight them on it, "You can trust us, Xiu, don't worry." Xiulin softly frowns, but she couldn't go up against seven boys, even if she wanted to.

"Okay, just.. make sure she gets some rest..." Xiulin reaches over and places a small kiss on Aohi's burning forehead, a quiet goodbye as she recovers in the boys' dorms.

The boys and Xiulin part from the stairs, and Aohi's brought into the boys' dorms, they all have separate rooms now, the countless complaints from singer to manager had worked, and given them some sort of privacy.

Ri-ki makes a quick move to place her onto his bed, tucking her with record-breaking speed, trying to keep her warm, feeling Aohi shiver all throughout the car ride.

Despite his worry, he still feels sour about earlier, knowing Aohi wasn't feeling well, and her mood was not best, did not excuse the fact that she ran off, and for hours they couldn't find her.

"I'll go grab a rag for her fever.." Sunoo whispers from beside Ri-ki, patting the youngest's back in comfort before leaving the room. The rest of the boys seemed to follow after Sunoo, quiet excuses pouring from all of their lips.

"We'll get dinner started, make her some food.." Jay and Jungwon walked out together, and Sunghoon runs his hand through his face, "We'll give you some space.." Heeseung pulls Sunghoon with him, who seems hesitant to leave Aohi's side.

"How could you be so reckless, batsy?" Ri-ki whispered, his tone scolding. For once, he was babying Aohi without any complaint. Well, not that she could anyway. "I thought something had happened to you.. and I wouldn't of been there..."

Ri-ki sat by her side for a while, he repositioned to the ground, gently rubbing his thumb against Aohi's palm. A calming gesture for both of them. He quietly watches Aohi's sleeping figure, and despite the underlying cringe from him, feeling creepy for watching her, he couldn't help but worry, truly.

"...I would've lost it.. batsy, I need you," Ri-ki whispers, and it seems like every time they were by themselves, he starts to speak in Japanese, like he's at his most vulnerable with her. "I need you like water, my love.." He continues his sentence, hoping she'll awake for a little bit.

Like a miracle, Aohi twitches from her sleep, and she lets out a quiet groan, her eyes fluttering from her nap, and she's faced with the familiar ceiling of Ri-ki's room. She calls for him with a broken voice.

"Nini..." And Ri-ki makes a move, sitting up on his knees to coo at her silently, "I'm here, lovely.." He feels Aohi's hand squeeze his, and he feels himself relax. Ri-ki is relieved, comforted by Aohi's presence.

"Why.. would you go look for me..?" Aohi croaks from her spot, looking at Ri-ki with a hurt expression, and he's almost confused on why she would ask such a question. "Why wouldn't we?.." Ri-ki tilts his head, his thumb makes comforting swipes at the back of Aohi's hand.

"You could've gotten sick.. stupid.." Aohi tries to flick up at Ri-ki's forehead, and he shakes his head, making her drop her hand. "I don't care about getting sick, I care about finding you." He replies, and Aohi sighs, turning her head from Ri-ki to the wall.

"I hate when you say stuff like that.." Aohi whispers, and Ri-ki is confused, sure, his words would fluster the girl, but her? Hating such words from him when she was as affectionate as him?

"Why? You and I both know it's true," Ri-ki responds, and Aohi makes a move to almost throw a slight action of defiance. "And that's what I hate about it, I hate that you're willing to break your back as long as I'm with you.."

"And it's the same for the other boys, and I love that you love me so much," Ri-ki listens, despite his dislike for where the conversation was heading, "and I love you all the same, if not more, but I hate that you'd disregard your own well-being for me.. I wish I wasn't that important to you.. any of you."

"How could you say that?" Ri-ki asks, standing up from his spot and sitting on the bed, and Aohi sits up from her spot, "Ri-ki, how could I not? Hell, you gave me your jacket even when you knew it was cold.."

"You're always bending over backwards for me, and I wish you'd be a little more concerned with yourself." Aohi looks towards him and Ri-ki furrows his eyebrows. "You're the same way."

Aohi stays silent, "It's the way I am.." Aohi fiddles with her fingers, looking down at her lap. "And so what? You think we should just take and take, and you get nothing in return for yourself?" Ri-ki assumes, and Aohi looks to argue, to deny, but words don't come out of her mouth.

Ri-ki waits for a reply from Aohi and when she doesn't seem to speak, he continues. "What's the point of us dating you if we'll just be selfish while you break like this?" Aohi still doesn't reply, and she knows there's nothing she could say to fix her words, and what she meant.

"Are we even your boyfriends that way?" Aohi finally moves from her spot, "Of course you are! I just don't want you to be so consumed with being with me that you just.." Aohi brings her hands to her face, "It feels like you have to take care of me all of the time, and I'm just.."

"I don't want any of you to help me because it's not your job, I should be able to do this myself!" Aohi sobbed, and Ri-ki feels angrier than before.

“if you didn’t want any of us to help you when you’re crumbling like this then why are you still dating us?!” Ri-ki yells, and it’s the first time in a while that Aohi had heard him so loud.

Aohi blinks at him and for once she’s surprised of the way Ri-ki stared at her with angry tears. Ri-ki was angry at her.

“Are you angry at me?…” She whispers, and Aohi doesn’t miss the way her voice quivers as she asks this to Ri-ki who turns away from her.

“You don’t know how much it hurts when we see you like this… when I see you like this.” Ri-ki sobbed, his fists grab at his hair, and Aohi makes a move to stop him, knowing it’ll hurt.

“I feel like the worst fucking boyfriend when I see you fall apart like dust and I can’t help you.”

Aohi doesn’t say a word more, unable to reply. Her tears cascaded down her cheeks and she pulls Ri-ki into her arms. “I’m sorry.” She repeats like a mantra.

And it seems like Ri-ki breaks alongside Aohi, and she starts to think that maybe the world was a little too cruel on both of them, or maybe she was being too cruel on him, on all of them.

how could she fix this now?

"I'm sorry nini... I didn't mean to make you feel like that.. I just... feel awful and I've been too cruel.." Aohi holds Ri-ki tightly, and she could feel her hoodie starts to dampen with the boy's tears.

"I'm so sorry... I feel like the worst girlfriend to you... you don't even know nini.." Aohi hugs Ri-ki like she could never let go, and she knows she would never.

"Then help me know, I want to, let me understand, let me help.." Ri-ki begged from her, and Aohi feels worse than she already did.

Aohi places a gentle kiss on his forehead, continuing her apologies. Ri-ki seems to cry for forever he felt like, he just couldn't stop, and his fingers had gone red from how tightly he held Aohi in his arms.

"You don't deserve such a cruel girl like me.." She whispers, lifting Ri-ki's face, wiping at the streaks on his cheeks, and with a quiet voice, Ri-ki speaks, "I want you anyway, I'll always want to be with you, even if you don't."

"How did I score someone like you, hm, nini?" Aohi laughed through her own tears. "I don't know, but you're never getting rid of me." Ri-ki replies, before taking Aohi's cheeks in his hands and laying a gentle kiss on her lips.

The two's lips intertwined like perfect puzzle pieces, Aohi's hand reaching to cup Ri-ki's in a warmth he'll never deny. Aohi thinks that she could never get used to how warm Ri-ki's lips were, always comforting her in ways she could never do herself.

The two pull away, and Aohi almost chases after Ri-ki, already missing him so close to her.

"...I love you, so much." Aohi spoke after a while, using her hoodie sleeve to wipe at her nose, and Ri-ki laughs, grabbing a tissue from his bedside, "Don't wipe it on your hoodie, batsy.."

"I really do love you though, you know that right?" Ri-ki smiles, and nods, wiping at Aohi's tears. "aigoo... you big baby.." Ri-ki kisses at her nose, and Aohi squeals at the ticklish feeling.

"You cried too! I'm not the only big baby!" Aohi retorts, gently slapping Ri-ki's shoulder, the two continued to giggle for a little before they quiet down, the only evidence of their silly behaviour being their smiles.

"Don't ever be scared to crumble, we'll be here to pick you back up... just like you are for us.." Ri-ki hugs her tightly one more time, and Aohi's never felt as loved as she was with the boys, and it makes her realize how much she could never actually live without these boys.

"So.. how does soup sound?"

"Sounds lovely, nini."

"Good, you're going to have to apologize to Jay-hyung and Jake-hyung, they've been sulking since this afternoon." - "Oh... about that.."

[bengiyo]

I am curious for your perspective on the way the OF creators are interacting with fans and have even admitted to editing the show based on fan reactions. It strikes me as an unusual level of interaction and capitulation, though of course TV is a live medium that is nearly always responsive to reactions to some extent. My preference is for a lot less of this kind of thing, but I know you have experience with direct interaction with media creators and have found it enhances your experience sometimes. What do you make of how these dynamics are showing up in OF and the effect it’s having on the show?

TV and Critic Background

So, I am actually the worst person to talk to if you think the creators should be quiet about their work, because I really enjoy talking to directors, producers, actors, cinematographers, and especially editors about their work. I often go to film festivals just to talk to the creators about their processes.

I've also been in the TV space a really long time, and I am used to this kind of behavior. I don't think a lot of folks who are in BL are used to being in the process of TV itself, and I think a lot of people have let the Netflix binge model inform the way they view TV. TV is not like movies. When you get a movie, you are seeing the end product of filming, editing, test screenings, re-edits, etc. TV is usually only an episode or two ahead of the viewers.

It's extremely normal for a show to respond to feedback when characters test well. The 100 did this with Jasper. He was supposed to die in the pilot when that spear entered his chest, but he tested well with audiences so they revived him.

Fun Fact: This is why Kiseki: Dear to Me didn't just move their release schedule up when episode 8 was leaked early. They probably weren't finished assembling episode 9.

I followed Sense8 through its entire development process all the way from rumors and then J. Michael Stracynski's posts about it, to the things Lana and Lily said about it, to the commentary from the cast.

I have a special hatred for Rick Behrman over Star Trek.

I absolutely hate Russel T. Davies because of Cucumber.

I bailed on Supernatural because of the way the writers condescended to us at comicon after killing Kevin.

I know some fans are upset about the idea that scenes they wanted to see got cut, but I was there for Noah Galvin opening his fucking mouth to talk shit about other actors at ABC who were playing beloved gay characters and that subsequently getting The Real O'Neals canceled. The show had a very short second season and I feel forever salty about that.

What does this mean for Jojo and Ninew and Den?

I actually think Jojo, Den, and Ninew are fine. I don't think they usually poopoo on valid reads from what I've seen, and mostly they're having fun with the fans, too. I just don't think people are used to the creators being so honest about how feedback affects the editing process.

I think this is the first time we've had a big show in a while where the creator was fairly active on socials about the show. Aof and Au are usually pretty quiet when their shows are airing, and only give small tidbits while they show is airing. Jojo is silly and likes to play with fans. Den is feisty and has a gay agenda to pursue.

Truly, I don't think Jojo and friends are that bad about anything with this show, because they're mostly just laughing and stating things that are obvious to people who pay attention to how the sausage is made.

Shipping

That being said, the biggest struggle OF is having is shipping. The FK girlies are so loud and their heavy breathing has likely influenced the way Jojo and friends decided to write Ray. The FB girlies are so into them that it's made Jojo and them dial back some of their Top content because the audience hates him so much. Only Boston and Nick feel like they've made it through the shipping gamut intact because Neo and Mark aren't bringing a bunch of preexisting shippers to the table.

Coming off of episode 10, you can see this plainly with the nasty4nasty dynamic with Boston and Nick. The emotional core of their dynamic feels true, even down to the way their moments in the store mirror their first interactions again. Boston came in for service about his phone and intentionally showed Nick something on it.

I don't think Jojo has ever had to work with multiple acting pairs that were big branded pairs prior to this, and this is only his second time really dealing with that. With Never Let Me Go, Pond and Phuwin weren't that big yet, and he wasn't threatening their ship with anything complicated. OF is challenging for people who just watch BL as fap material and have to deal with their faves not being easy people to parse.

As usual, we go back to that post that goes around all the time, thought I think the OP deleted it:

"Never ever be normal about fictional characters but please GOD be normal about the people who play them, I am begging you" -tumblr user mantorokk-writes

[sinfulcries]

BELLY BULGING + PRETTY SETTERS PART TWO!

authors note. ITS OFFICIALLY KINKTOBER! oh my god I wanted to join so bad but I realized that I can’t post everyday ugh poopoo as fuck anyways, i wanna make a pretty girl/boy’s belly bulge i’m sobbing so hard

tw. porn links, tummy bulging, cnc-ish, massive size difference, manhandling, juicy big fat cock reader, feminization ( fem petnames ), daddy kink

ATSUMU MIYA

Atsumu likes it rough we all know that, so when you immediately start to thrust into him,

he instantly notices the bulge in his belly and he can’t help but get mesmerized seeing you move so quickly in and out of him!

you’re rutting into his tight little cunny like a feral beast in rut

and with the way your cock just pokes out of him, proving just how massive you are,

metaphorical hearts practically glow in his eyes as he begs for you to fuck him deeper

You knew just how much Atsumu loved to be treated and bred like a whore however, you didn't expect him to play the role so fucking well. With the way he babbled and squealed hips moving forward to take your cock in deeper, you would’ve mistaken your boyfriend for a cheap, common slut.

“DADDY DADDY! ‘Yer gonna fuckin’ ah! b-break me!” He moaned, fingers leaving deep scratches on your broad back as his hole practically milked your cock dry. “I know you enjoy this princess, Your cute stomach’s bulging too�� You grinned in response, angling your hips to thrust in to the blonde much deeper. “ ‘Gonna fucking break your pretty pussy”

KENMA KOZUME

kenma’s already so tiny, you knew that fitting your cock inside of him would take a lot of prep.

however when you do manage to get the boy to take your cock, kenma’s moaning and sobbing so prettily, whimpering about how it’s too big and that he should just cockwarm you instead <3

what kind of boyfriend would you be if you didn’t prove how well he could actually take your cock? and you do just that,

fucking him in front of a mirror so that he’s forced to watch your cock moving inside of him, rearranging his guts

he soon turns into a braindead cock whore!

"Ngah! I c-can’t take it!” Kenma squealed girlishly, feeling his insides clenching around your massive cock like a vice as you continued to rut into him like a feral beast. The lewd sound of your balls smacking harshly against the underside of his ass accompanied by his high pitched moans and pleads were honestly driving you insane, and the urge to knock him up with that bulge in his tummy was too hard not to resist with how pretty he looked sobbing on your cock.

“I know you can take it kitten, Look at how tiny you are, taking my massive cock nicely.” You grunted, battering his prostate as breathless pants only leave his lips in response. How was he supposed to respond with your cock fucking him dumb? Such a cruel man you were and yet Kenma loved every second! “M— Taking d-daddy’s cock like a g-good boy!”

SEMI EITA

another confident man, he’s positive that he can take your cock like a champ!

it’s so adorable seeing his cockiness crumble the moment your thick head prods against his puffy rim

realization hits him and he goes, shit this is not going to fit inside of me

he’s still too prideful to give up! So he takes it in anyway, and he can feel his tummy stretching, trying to accommodate your cock as it bulges out of him

“You’re taking too long, babydoll. Can you even take it?” You teased watching as the man on top of you struggled to take in your cock. Semi was beyond embarrassed, only having been able to take in your tip during the past few minutes he spent cursing at you about how he could take your cock. “Yer well prepped too, am I that big?” You inquired cockily.

Semi only sent you a glare deciding to finally take you in as he slowly sank himself down on your cock, his back arching impossibly as he took in every inch. “F-Fuck too big!” He gasped, eyeing the bulge in his milky stomach. “I c-can feel you in my haah— fucking guts.”

AKAASHI KEIJI

he’s so sensitive and obsessed with it! he may seem like a simple man but this boy’s a fucking menace

he’ll pull you in closer as you fuck him making sure that every inch of your cock’s nice and snuggled inside of him

press on the bulge in his belly and he’ll be squealing and squirting like a dumb little girl!

you’ll also feel his walls deliciously tighten around your cock when you do so

and the boy just loves when you take advantage of how huge and strong you are!

The sight of Akaashi’s puffy hole sucking your cock in so effortlessly was so erotic, you could feel yourself almost going crazy! The way his eyes were rolled into the back of his skull, tongue lewdly lolled out as you fucked him full nelson in front of a mirror was overkill for you and your fat cock.

“AH AH AH! S-SIR, S TOO DEEP!” The man cried out, fogging his glasses in the process as you pounded balls deep into his prostate. The bulge in his pretty tummy only proved that you were indeed way too deep inside of the pretty little boy. “Take it for daddy will ya?”

[loveforbdsm]

You reward yourself and reinforce the "good, nice" sensations and feelings of wetting and messing your diapers. You reward yourself for wetting and messing your diapers.

It is not initially possible to "ignore" the conscious awareness of needing to void, but by telling yourself to relax and "let it happen" you will find your subconscious, the part that actually learned control and controls the behaviour responses, begins to accept and adopt the new patterns and responses until you do just void unconsciously. A few weeks of unconscious natural voiding and you will be wetting and messing just like a little baby all over again. Continue rewarding yourself mentally for being such a good baby, and wetting and messing yourself naturally and easily, and you will never feel ashamed or humiliated or embarrassed about what you now can do.

The defecation reflex occurs when the internal anal sphincter relaxes and the external anal sphincter contracts. The rectoanal inhibitory reflex (RAIR) is an involuntary internal anal sphincter relaxation in response to rectal distention. After the defecation reflex is triggered, you can either delay or defecate. This is where you relax and let it out. Forget the thought of delaying, just relax and it out.

Most babies have a pattern for voiding, say after breakfast, or during the afternoon, or after dinner. Once your pattern is established, ensure they have a heavy diaper or one that is lined to make sure the diaper can handle the load. Messing is much easier than most people think. Especially if you eat a healthy diet with lots of fibre, roughage natural laxatives to ensure soft, easy voids. Not too much so you get the runs, which is unhealthy, but just soft, regular movements two or more times a day.

Use the same "positive conditioning" mental rewards as used for wetting, and when you feel the need to void, again just relax. Don't hold it in, relax and let it out. It may pass for a moment or two, then come back a little stronger. Each time, just relax. Concentrate on the sphincter muscle that has been trained to tighten until you are on a potty, and concentrate on just relaxing this little muscle.

DO NOT BEAR DOWN, OR TRY TO FORCE THINGS "OUT". THIS IS NOT NATURAL, AND CAN RUIN THE NATURAL TRAINING. Just relax the sphincter and again try deep natural breaths to help you relax yourself.

You may find it easier to void standing, or crawling. DO NOT SQUAT, or pretend to be sitting on a potty. This again places strain on the muscles, resulting in a bearing down action that is unnatural, requires

"control". As you begin to void, there will be a learned tendency to try

and tighten the sphincter muscle. Again just relax. Tell yourself "I'm going to poopoo my diaper. I like poopooing my diaper. It feel so good. I like messing my diapers as a baby." You will be rewarded.

As you mess your diaper concentrate on the feelings of helplessness at messing your little diapers as a baby. Concentrate on the sensations of messing helplessly and feeling the soft, gooey void filling the seat and crotch of your diapers and smearing on your little bum. Tell yourself how nice and good this feels, and how babyish it is to mess your diapers, how babyish YOU are to mess your diapers.

Good baby you wet and mess your diapers, naturally, now.

A few more times and you will begin to think "Oh, me go poopoo didee" as your subconscious feels the need to void, and your body becomes retrained and the poopoo just naturally passes by your relaxed sphincter into your soft diapers. Naturally you will wet your little diapers after you void, as all babies do. You may have to stay in your messy diaper for a while so be prepared.

BABIES ARE TO NEVER PLAY WITH YOURSELF IN MESSY DIAPERS. THIS IS BAD, and baby will be punished.

During clean up, it is going to smell a bit and be unpleasant, but remind yourself how good it FEELS, and how babyish your FEEL at messing your diapers. Be sure to wash off your bum, crotch and entire diaper area with warm water and mild soap, or with Baby Wipes and get it all clean and sweet smelling. Put baby lotion or oil, and baby powder on baby's diaper area, and then a nice thick soft diaper and plastic panties so baby is well protected again.

Take care of your diaper, put it in a plastic baggie to dispose of or to put in your diaper bag. Wash your hands real well with soap and water and then put a fresh diaper and plastic pants on along with the rest of your clothes.

Now you're all ready to go play again, until your next diaper change.

[forbidding-souda]

Wait omg I haven’t really seen any posts with a dom souda, could you do an nsfw dom souda x fem reader?

Dom! Kazuichi Souda x fem S/O

The fact that you haven’t seen any dom Souda is really sending me rn because you’re right

Also doesn’t souda canonly have abs wait hello 

Anyways I split this up between a scene and hc bc my brain is poopoo peepee rn all I can focus on is dnd bye BAHAHAHHA

-Mod Souda

He licks his lips, watching you fan yourself.

You’re sitting on the floor, and he is sitting at a table drinking coffee.

He never used to wake up this early before.

It isn’t a particularly warm day but you had found the thing while going through the boxes of miscellaneous stuff you had stored away. A lot of things got put away when he moved in.

Still, out of curiosity, you find yourself going through them again.

And then, something takes your interest.

You don’t remember hiding this away. You had assumed it was lost in your laundry basket or in some of your many drawers.

You pull out a pair of black handcuffs, the cuffs in the shape of a heart. 

Kazuichi’s interest is piqued. He crouches behind you.

“Those look uncomfortable.”

You purse your lips. “If they were uncomfortable then I wouldn’t keep them.”

“You’ve used them before?”

The disbelief in his voice makes you want to laugh. 

Instead of responding, you give him a kiss on his forehead before standing up.

“I’ll put them on the night stand.”

<3

And throughout the day, surprisingly, he had forgotten about them.

He was more interested in the fact that you were gonna teach him how to fix the holes in his old jumper. 

That’s how most of your days are spent. You helping him, and teaching him all of the things he didn’t even know he didn’t know. 

Like how to pack food to put it in the fridge, or how to know if brownies are finished or not.

“A toothpick, Kaz. A fork works too.”

But when you were changing into your pajamas, he noticed the things again. His eyes flicker from the bed to the handcuffs. 

“You only have one pair?”

You didn’t even know what he was talking about until you turned around. It even takes you a second to process the question.

“I don’t like having my arms spread out, if that’s what you mean. I’d rather use one.”

“You know a lot about what you like.”

The two of you meet eyes. “And you don’t?”

He doesn’t respond. Not to that, at least. “Do you want to try them?”

“Right now?”

The room is empty except for you two, but he still finds himself looking around in case he is being watched.

“Right now.”

There’s a pause in the tone of things when he starts taking slow steps towards you. In response, you meet him in the middle and kiss him.

It catches him off guard. But he is quick to wrap his arms around you. 

You recognize the way he kisses.

He likes keeping a steady pace. He savors the way you taste.

Kissing him is easy.

It’s the ability to contain yourself when he pushes you against the bed that’s hard.

It’s almost like there are roses - flower petals decorated all around you. 

The feeling of him pressed up in between your legs is almost foreign. Usually you are the one crawling ontop of him.

Now, you can see how the friction can be addicting.

<3

He lets you reposition yourself, laying with your head on a pillow and your hands above you. 

The two cuffs go around your wrists as the chain wraps across a single post on the bed frame. 

His chest is near your mouth. If the shirt wasn’t there, you wouldn’t hesitate to lick up his sternum. 

“Did I do it right?” He murmurs in a soft voice.

You test it out. Wiggling, pulling your wrists. It’s fine, just how you remember.

He smiles at the confirmation. 

A short second passes before he is positioned against you again.

His lips connect to your neck. 

It gives you tingles down your spine, lingering in your lower back, which feels like a million feathers are brushing against you.

His hand rests on the skin of your shoulder blade. It slides to your collarbone, and then, after his lips pull away, against your neck.

<3 

HC

<3

The way he takes off clothes is gentle. Though, your shirt stays on, which makes the feeling of his hands climbing underneath even better. Cold hands against your warm skin.

And he positions your leg on top of his shoulder. His teeth dig into your thigh, watching you wince and whine.

You both giggle together whenever he accidentally tickles you, too. The lightheartedness in his heart never lets up.

The arousal he gets from seeing you biting your lips in disobedience of your submissive position can get him out of his usual smiles and uneasiness.

Likes to feel your hot tongue wrap around his fingers when he sticks them in your mouth. You suck as he probes your mouth.

He grabs your face, too, making you kiss him. He never holds you hard enough to make you ache. But the ass slaps sting for awhile after.

[that-banana-headed-bovine]

Headcanons for Michael, please?

hMMMM- Gonna be honest, I haven’t given neaaar enough consideration to Michael ASHODAOISHD, I will do my best with this-

By the way, a lot of these headcanons were made in collaboration with friends so like, these are by no means Bovine Originals TM-  I’m gonna tag som people but if someone gets tagged who did not wa n t to be tagged I will take it out and I am sowwy if this happens

What I think realistically:

  In between episodes, missions still go on (this has been confirmed by canon at least once I think?), but the missions are a whole lot more casual.  A lot of times, it’s more like a glorified road trip than an actual mission, and this is where Peak Bonding Time with Michael and Kitt happens.  As long as Michael’s not spending the whole time playing Atari, anyway... They wind up playing a lot of games that Kitt rigs with Hax (c’mon now that can’t not be how he swept the floor with Michael at blackjack of all things) which Michael somehow doesn’t catch on to, and they end up at a looot of drive-thrus, much to Kitt’s chagrin. 

What I think is hilarious:

  Pretty much all of these were made with @trust-doesnt-oxidize, we stan they-

  Michael really, really loves his burgers okay?  Like, so much.  Like SO much that if he doesn’t think he’ll be able to go to a drive-thru for a while, he’ll just.  Store one in the glove compartment.  Kitt hates this SO BADLY-  Michael will willingly eat week old food from his glove compartment and it reaches a point where Kitt has to stop him for sanitary reasons.  Perhaps Bonnie occasionally finds one of these highly expired treasures during repairs and loses her mind.

  But also our mans is a human garbage disposal, so he’ll eat anything you put in front of him.  He is very not picky, but if he has an option he will choose That Option.

  Also Michael continually forgetting that Kitt has access to his own programming and betting him to beat his high score on Atari games,,,

  Michael continually losing said bets.

What is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends:

  Honestly I don’t think I can ever beat the novelization’s tragic backstory, seriously I refuse to believe that what the heck-

  I was talking with @solarcitymelodies and they mentioned Michael being emotionally repressed as a product of the time (and likely his history in the military), which is why he has a very difficult time being emotionally vulnerable.  He plays off everything as a joke, and what he can’t do that for, he likes to project (think “Trust Doesn’t Rust,” where he repeatedly just Told Kitt yOu FeEl NeRvOuS tOo RoIt?! and Kitt’s like ???no??? and Michael’s like uwu I totally get you buddy it’s okay to be scared and Kitt’s like Literally What-).  That one def hurts, and I think it’s real accurate.  Our mans doesn’t think he can be emotionally vulnerable because he’s gotta be Strong Tough Boi and like Michael stop nobody takes you seriously anyway <3

  Another one that I love to toy around with is just,,, Michael seems very confused about what the heck Kitt i s.  Like, sometimes he treats Kitt like a robot who just happens to talk, sometimes he treats him like a friend, sometimes he acknowledges Kitt’s feelings, sometimes he doesn’t-- It’s likely a product of inconsistent writing from different teams since Michael’s character was actually progressing quite naturally throughout Season 2 until Season 3 decided to destroy our hopes and dreams. Sniffles.  But like, I feel like he wants Kitt to be a person and a friend, but until he can get himself to really believe it, he can’t really,,, act on it I guess?  It seems like he’s catching on by Season 2, but, once again, Season 3 is evil and hates me.  I like to think that, once the series ended, at sooome point, he’d come to a more confident realization about Kitt, and it’s then that he’d realize Kitt’s own insecurities as a result of being confused about what he himself is based on how others treated him.  And he’d feel at least somewhat responsible for that, so yeah.

What would never work with canon but canon is Stinky Poopoo so I believe it anyway:

  Michael realizes that smacking the dashboard as hard as humanly possible is actually abuse, and he stops doing that.

Haha jk that’s too crazy even for this.

  This one’s the hardest for me because Michael is such a spazz that nothing feels too OOC for him, so this is more going to be an explanation for why something I love to think, and I think most of the fandom loves to think,,, can’t be canon.  I’m sorry.

  Whether it’s after the events of Knight Rider or Knight Rider 2000 *gAGS*, Michael eventually has to permanently retire from FLAG because, y’know.  Aging exists.  And I would love to think that Michael is able to take Kitt with him to live this very calm and “normal” stretch of life, where their friendship can grow and they can be buds.

The issue is idk if this can ha pp e n .

  And no, I don’t mean because Shawn happened in KR2000, I literally give zero hoots about what that movie wanted us to think.  The only thing I take from that movie is Kitt’s temporary deactivation for finance reasons, but anyway...

  I just feel like FLAG couldn’t afford to DO that.  I mean, it was actually pretty clever that the events of KR2000 were kicked off by FLAG running out of funds because, really, that was going to happen eventually.  In the original series, it seems like Wilton left behind an infinite supply of money based on what Michael is able to do and whatnot, but unless Wilton was the richest man in existence ever, that’s not the case.  Devon still has to host fundraisers for charity reasons, and it’s still highly discouraged that Michael causes as much property damage as he does on a regular basis, because that all comes out of the Foundation’s wallet.  Eventually, that’s going to run out if donations don’t match what Wilton had.  And while repairing a building costs a lot of money, something costs a lot more money than that, and that is the vehicle itself.  I can’t tell whether more money went into the microchips or the cars themselves, all I know is that they cost a LOT of money, like I want to say Kitt was 16 million?  Karr was even more expensive at 20-something million I- I don’t know my lore well enough okAyyyyy- It was a bad enough blow to lose Karr, but FLAG viewed that as a necessary loss which it wasn’t imo but AnYwaY.  Kitt is currently programmed to Michael, but I feel like that would be easy enough to change.  It wouldn’t erase his emotional bond to Michael since I think most of that was Kitt’s own feelings over his programming, but it would allow FLAG to utilize their investment for even longer.

  I could see the show taking the happy ending where they’re able to continue to exist together, and any stories of mine will definitely take the happy ending, but it’s not actually very realistic with canon.  Maybe, if Kitt’s programming became outdated or the Knight 2000 was too expensive to keep in good repair, then it could happen?  Idk, lemme know what you think about this one!

[thesummerstorms]

Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 12)

CW: combat violence, medical needles, planned bombing

TL:DR Recap: Niner steals a speeder. Etain and Dar have what’s probably their most awkward conversation, although the river scene is close. Hokan continues to trash Ankkit’s villa in the name of a double bluff.

Beginning Kal Count: 21  Ending Kal Count: 24

We open back on Niner, who’s finally able to use comms to openly call his squad now that the Nemodians/Separatists can’t listen in. He also needs to steal a ride so that he doesn’t have to keep running on foot away from the large explosion he just created.

Listen, I will give KT shit about her timelines and narrative consistency and sexism, etc, etc all day every day, but she does have some great lines. I love the description here. Also, I guess it’s hoping too much to hope that the gdan would eventually learn not to eat people in armor.

There’s a little bit of banter here, but it’s an incredibly short scene. Fi teases him on the phone and Niner tells Fi to call Darman before hanging up to find a ride. Long story short, Niner sees a Trandoshan approaching on a speeder bike, probably to check on his slaving business Niner thinks, Niner headshots him, and then Niner leaves the area with “newly uplifted spirits”.

We cut to Etain, who’s annoyed because there’s still run off from the rain dripping down Dar’s makeshift tent, she can only hear out of one ear still, and her effort to scare the gdan with the Force the way she thought Jinart did “only succeed[ed] in making them more curious, although they had stopped trying to take bites out of her.”

The real problem at the root of her restlessness, though, is that she’s finally having a down moment to process having killed someone and also her sense of personal failure.

I mean, it’s kind of early in their relationship to be using Darman’s presence as a meditation focus, but you know, given her lack of coping skills in evidence thus far, I’m gonna say that’s a teasing, non-serious minor objection. She is already getting pretty good at sensing him distinctly in the Force. 

And of course he’s exhilarated because he, finally, finally got a phone call from his brothers. He gives Etain a status update about the comm station and their gear and the squad having a prisoner while Etain muses on how strange it is to see his excited body-language and Force presence without seeing it in his face.

That’s a really unkind thought on Etain’s part not gonna lie. And it’s weird as hell to be that KT has her sensing Darman’s exhilaration a moment before, but not his grief in this conversation, which we have plenty of evidence for. I don’t even have a good explanation for that. Also, this is the first time since the actual moment of death that we see Etain acknowledging grief for Kast, but it feels a little flat compared to how we’ve seen Omega’s grief written.

I’m choosing to take the two mentions of “our training sergeant” plus the one in the next paragraph as basically adding up to one for the Kal Count (22) since they’re in the same conversation and really off-hand.

Etain has a knack for asking the most awkward of questions, but sometimes they’re also motivated ones. I still disagree with the general thesis here, in light of  the farmer’s situation, but honestly I’m gonna take that up with Traviss, not Darman or Etain.

I could do a little less with everyone always pitying everyone else in these books, but otherwise this is kind of... nice? Dar, again, is generous/thoughtful. At Etain is pretty good at making small observations,like about the dried fruit.

And then we get to this infamous part..

I’m gonna be real with y’all, that isn’t where my brain would have went, but I’m very, very ace. It is kind of frank for a Star Wars book, but I still didn’t get it as an eighth grader. I have since seen someone make a joke about the symbolism of the tent and the pole, but my brain really just doesn’t work that way, so I think it’s best if I shrug and move on.

“she was exhausted, she just wanted to sit numbly and do nothing. She jumped to her feet, snatched the pole, and ran at him.” I don’t think “numbness” is an unreasonable response, but Dar does a pretty good job of drawing her out of it.

Fun fact, I tried once to use this as evidence to decide which of the classic lightsaber forms Etain was best at, since every other time she uses her lightsaber in combat it’s against blasters, which doesn’t tell much. The closest match I could find to her movements here was form V, which is emphatically NOT meant for someone her size.

The ebook version of “Jedi Path” is TERRIBLE but:

Anyway, moving on.

:( They go on to talk about Darman’s training, the fact that commandos died in training (I’m not even gonna go into my ??? at this point), and the fact that Darman started training with live rounds at four or five. That would make him 8-10 developmentally. I have a lot of questions as someone who teaches 11 year olds, but I’ll save them for later. Etain confesses she’s perplexed by the clones’ enhanced aging as well.

Kal Count 23. Also, ouch. Like. A lot of ouch.

I like that highlighted quote a lot, because as much time as Traviss spends poopooing the Jedi in this series, Etain is Jedi, and while the institution is corrupt, the impulse for the Jedi teachings comes from their literal connection to all the life around them. So seeing this perspective of death/war from her is important to me. Of course the rest of the next several paragraphs is calling her out/refuting that point of view but.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m tired. We’re just gonna say “culture clash”/”narrative authority”/ “positional pov” and move on.

I’m also counting that as a separate Kal Count, because it’s referencing a different quote/topic/ideal. So  now we’re at 24.

Anyway, they go outside and Darman asks Etain about the daywings, which are basically space!dragon flies that are beautiful colors but only live for a day. The narration/Etain makes an obvious connection to Darman without him being aware, but honestly it just makes me uncomfortable. It does really make his line in Order 66 about being a man who was tired of finding things in common with insects sink home, though.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Finally we finish off with more Hokan, who is trashing Ankkit’s villa some more just to rub things in while also trying to stage a double bluff- Uthan has already been moved from the villa back to her lab/bunker.

He also has a Napoleon complex, apparently.

Okay, I’ll admit, I chuckled at this part. Hokan finishes off by talking about the droid comlink and promoting one of his officers who just discretely murdered the other, higher-ranking officer Hokan didn’t like, at Hokan’s bequest.

Again. The guy has issues.

[nivefrost]

guess i’ll drop a notice here. 

my mother passed away earlier this month. so i’m on hiatus regarding tumblr as a whole. got some family things to focus on in the meantime. work related, friend related and taking care of my father who is also disabled. so i’m just underneath the funk of mixing depression and responsibility as an individual. i go back to work soon so that’s gonna sap my time away too. i work overnights and that alone makes anyone feel like poopoo. body needs to adjust.

i’m just in a clouded funk right now. need some time to figure it out and move forward,,y’know,, while being productive, cleaning up and packing my mothers’ belongings and clearing the suffocation in my household.

thanks for understanding. 

[lookslike-wemadeit]

January 2011

1- At 12:13 AM, Louis tweets his first tweet of 2011 “#harrylouyear <<< GENIUS ! :) HAPPY NEW YEAR :)”

1- Hannah tweets at 12:43 AM “My head is pounding from Louis playing 'The Musical Theatre Game' aghhh xx”

Louis rides the train to London to see Stan

1- Hannah tweets her NYE with Louis “@AlexheartsQuiff I stayed at home with Louis & my sister and played Smurf Village hahaha xxx”

1- Harry spends New Year’s Day with family

2- Louis tweets “So excited for today :) xx”

2- Show at the Forum in Hatfield, Hertfordshire

2- Harry tweets about the show “Brilliant gig at The Forum! Got a brilliant book from Italy:) Thanks You Everyone!! :D”

2- Jay tweets Robin “@robintwist My beautiful little sugarbreasts :) So lovely to have you on twitter land xx “ (Louis mum and Harry's step dad)

2- Robin responds to Jay “@JayTommo my little swamp duck, why aren't you following Mr Womderful? “

2- Louis tweets “Great gig today , thank you Hatfield :) we love you !!!!

2- next to you during the concert

3- Dusty posts Ted makes me feel like the only cat in the world :)

3- he also tweets- going to watch a film with the best boyfriend in the world

3 - Harry goes shopping in Manchester with his cousins

4- Dusty posts a picture of flowers he got for Ted. And a video and my boyfriend is sexy

4- Louis tweets “Big shout out too @joekenners thanks for tonight !!!“

4- Harry tweets about the game “Off to the football :D  Not much is better than a trip to Old Trafford with the father @louis_Tomlinson and @rioferdy5 :) .x”

4- Harry & Louis go to Rosso for dinner and later drinks

4- Harry tweets again about what a great night it was “Great night with @louis_Tomlinson , @ashwils84 , @joekenners and @rioferdy5 :) .x”

4- Louis tweets “Niall has been hacked so ignore his funny tweets ha”

4- Louis tweets a picture of him and Harry with Nemanja Vidic before they’re even home “Me Harry and Vidic http://yfrog.com/h6y7hdj”

4- 20 minutes later Louis tweets again “Great night with @Harry_styles and @anton_Ferdinand !!!“ Anton was not there. Rio had tagged the wrong Louis (Louie Spence) in a tweet earlier in the evening and Louis was getting him back for it.

4- Harry & Louis have a sleepover at Harry’s house in Holmes Chapel

4- Louis tweets “@AshWills84 unlucky mate I'm just sat at home drinking tea haha good to see you mate !”

4- Louis tweets at 1:54AM “sleep over at Harrys :)”

4- Louis tweets X Factor contestant John Wilding who was eliminated at Judge’s Houses in 2010 “miss you man !!”

4- Louis tweets “:)” in response to a fan telling him he was lucky for sleeping over at Harry’s

5-Louis tweets Rio Ferdinand “@rioferdy5 when you gonna come play for doncaster rovers then boss haha”

5- Louis tweets Joe Kennedy who asks Louis “haha have u seen ok today? jk.” Louis responds “no what does it say ? X”

5- OK! tweets article “One Direction fan Rio Ferdinand catches up with Harry and Louis at the footie”

5- Louis goes home to Doncaster late in the afternoon. He hangs out with Hannah at her house for about 3 hours

5- Louis tweets “Just got @BrunoMars ' album... what a talented guy ! Great album!!!” He was talking about Doo-Wops & Hooligans

6- Zayn & Louis ride down to Brighton together in the afternoon

6- Louis tweets while in the car “Hello everyone :) x”

6- Louis tweets asking if anyone has the unauthorized One Direction biography “Anyone got this a to z book ? X”

6- Louis tweets the Larry Stylinson Twitter account “@LarryStylinson :) have a nice day x”

6- Louis tweets Aiden Grimshaw “@Mr_Grimshaw well my name is Aiden and I smell of poo poo and still wee the bed !!”

6- Louis tweets Rio Ferdinand “@rioferdy5 man up !!”

6 - Louis tweets “@LoveForAnneCox big love for Anne cox :)” (Harry's mum)

6 - Louis tweets “@SupportHStyles hollister and that is a silly thing to say cos I support Harry x”

6- Louis tweets “Damn I miss all the interactive stuff like megamind :(”

6- Louis tweets Rebecca Ferguson’s old account “@beccaxferguson good thanks lovely how are you superstar :) ? X”

6 - Louis tweets Niall “@NiallOfficial poopoo”

6- Louis tweets Rebecca Ferguson again “@beccaxferguson ha you miss us anyway!! Can't wait for the tour x”

6- At 8PM, Louis tweets “Let's start a trend :) any ideas ?”

6- At 8:20PM, Louis tweets “More trends ....?”

6- At 8:30PM, Louis tweets “If it trends world wide I will tweet an never seen before picture :)”

6- At 8:47PM, Louis tweets “If you want that unseen picture get tweeting :)"

6- At 9PM, Louis tweets “Two trends related to me love it !!! I love you all !!!!”

6- Louis posts “never before seen” picture of him and Harry before the first live show “Before the 1st live show http://yfrog.com/gym6leyj“

6- 15 minutes later, Jay tweets “Silly Ol' @Louis_Tomlinson for tweeting a photo a previously seen one :) Louis aged 6 xx http://plixi.com/p/68274395″

6-9: The boys in Brighton doing “band stuff,” including recording “I Want”

9- Harry’s friend, Ashley, tweets “harry would go a hint of gay for Louis, he never shuts up about him ;)HA!”

9- Harry posts picture of him and Louis playing with light sabers at 9:30 pm. I think that was taken in the studio in Brighton. Hannah said Louis had the light sabers in his car forever, but didn’t have the Clio anymore at this point. He sold the car before moving to London from X Factor. “Star Wars Is Always Cool. Enough Said.

10- The boys move into the X Factor rehearsal hotel, The Richmond Hill Hotel in Surrey

10- Harry (and the other boys?) have dinner at Nando’s

10- Harry tweets “ And i say,What a way for the Ice to break.....”

10- Harry tweets “ Night Everyone!!  I leave you with this, "The Awkward Moment When............................................" :) “ at 11:19 PM

10- Harry tweets link to video of father and daughter doing a cover of “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes at 11:24 PM

10- Harry tweets lyrics to “Home” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes at 11:32 PM “ We laugh until we think we’ll die,Barefoot on a summer night..Nothin’ new is sweeter than with you :D night .x “

10- Zayn tweets at 11:35 PM he’s “chillin with @harrystyles :),” tags the wrong Harry on twitter

11-The boys record “Gotta Be You” in southwest London with Steve Mac

12- Zayn’s birthday

12- The boys take Zayn out to lunch for his birthday

12- Harry tweets “The awkward moment when your mum walks past the shop at dinner time and the whole of One Direction start shouting milf -.-  hahaha!!“

12- Harry then tweets “I feel like I should tweet something not directed at the mother now.....a Turtle wearing a helicopter hat. Done. :D”

12- Niall says Louis sleep walks “In the night louis started sleepwalkin, he got into my bed, I pushed him off and he sat on the floor singin the tune t jungle book!wierd”

13- Harry gets a haircut

13- Sugarscape tweets “Harry and Louis are dancing with each other aahhhhh!”

13- mutual we discussed it

Lots of flirting

Pretty much always touching

louis slapped Harry's bum

13- Louis posts “Secret Video Diary” from X Factor on twitter which is about 3 minutes of him searching for Harry

13- Dinner at Nando’s

14- Someone on Twitter claims to work for Sugarscape and says they were at the shoot the previous day; Says Harry asked for her number; the official Sugarscape twitter says they’ve never heard of the person and they were not at the shoot

15- G-A-Y performances,1 public and 1 private, at Heaven nightclub in Central London; The owner of the club booked the boys for his birthday party; Hannah got to the club around 11:30PM, waited in line with fans and stayed in a separate hotel room with friends

16- Harry posts picture of him and Louis with Brian May from Queen at 6:58 PM “ Brian May.....Hero.

16- pictures of all the boys together they are clingy

16- The boys go to the JLS concert at the O2 Arena in London

17-Choreography rehearsals in Surrey for X Factor tour

17- pictures of One Direction outside Richmond Hill Hotel

17- Niall tweets he ate Domino’s with Harry & Louis around 9:30 PM “ Just had dominos with @Harry_Styles and @Louis_Tomlinson ..harry just had sweetcorn on his “

19- Article published saying they were thrown out of “health club” for rowdy behavior; In actuality, they were scolded for playing around in the pool at their hotel

19- Harry tweets “I'm being serenaded by Zayn :P" w/ picture

19- Harry tweets “Finally something to do in our hotel rooms...but word of warning, xbox kinnect is tricky in a tiny hotel room :D haha!”

19- Photoshoot

20-23- Days off

20- Louis tweets from the One Direction Twitter account “  Morning everyone , have a lovely day :) - Louis :) xx”

20- About 90 minutes later, Louis tweets from his own account about official One Direction Twitter account “Everyone follow @onedirection !! We will all be using the group twitter alot more as well as our personal accounts :) #followonedirection”

20- At about 7:54pm, the One Direction account (Louis), tweets “likes Who Let the Dogs Out by Baha Men on Ping http://itun.es/iFV6dW  #iTunes ”

20- At 7:54 pm, Louis tweets from the One Direction account again “Will everyone please follow the one direction iTunes ping :) - Louis.”

20- Louis sets his profile pic on ping to a cropped picture of him and Harry in Holmes Chapel in December

20- Harry leaves late in the evening to visit Gemma “On the way to visit my sister :D .x

21- Harry at home

21- Louis tweets about official One Direction facebook page

21- The One Direction account tweets “Who wants a follow 5 people will get followed today just type #followme1d and your reason :) we will pick the best 5 :)”

21- One Direction account tweets the now defunct URL “Check out a new webpage :)  http://www.1direction.co.uk/ join our news letter for the latest updates and video diaries :)”

21 - One Direction account tweets “18th in The Shorty Awards, Best Musicians Twitter Account http://bit.ly/voteonedirection #voteonedirection ..Keep it up lets get to 10th :)"

21- Harry tweets “So tired....kinnect volleyball all day:P but now I'm a 'pro' ;) haha .x”

22- Niall tweets from One Direction account “Hello twitter :) great few days at home , see you soon .... COME ON DERBY !!- Niall xx”

23 - At 11:54AM Harry tweets from the One Direction account “  I think thats the best lie in i've had so far :) Harry .xx”

23- At 12:01PM, Harry (?) tweets from the One Direction account “  i'm just chilling out today :)”

23- At 12:04PM, the One Direction account (Harry again?) tweets “  Shorty Awards: Vote @onedirection for music!! Louis for humor and Harry for Fashion...They're near the top!! :D“

23- At 12:05, Harry tweets from his personal “Haha Just seen I'm 8th for Fashion in the Shorty Awards!! :D ^^^”

23-Hannah tweets a picture of her and her friends before the G-A-Y performance in London

23- Hannah immediately tweets a picture of her mother’s desk at work, saying the picture is from Louis’ birthday

23- Hannah immediately tweets a self-described “blurry pic of Louis”

23- Hannah tweets a fan how long her and Louis have been dating, saying “For about 17 months x“

23- Hannah tweets “@louis_tomlinson is NOT leaving One Direction! Don't know where that rumour came from xx“

23- Hannah tweets her anniversary with Louis is March 18th

Hmm math... It would either 22 months or 10... Not 17?

23- Harry & Louis leave Surrey early in the afternoon and ride a Southwestern train 45 minutes into Central London

23- Harry & Louis go to TGI Friday’s in Haymarket Square and go shopping

23- Harry & Louis go to Odeon Leicester Square to see Black Swan

23- Harry tweets “Vote @louis_tomlinson for humour in the shorty awards!! :D” at 3:37 PM

23- Harry tweets “TGI Fridays......heaven.” at 3:41 PM

23- Louis tweets “Please RT my last tweet love you all :) if I am 2nd by tonight me and Harry will do a twitcam , bromance special ;)” at 3:41 PM

23- Harry tweets lyrics to “California” by Phantom Planet at 3:51 PM “On the stereo,listen as we go,nothing's gonna stop me now..California here we come..Right back where we started from :D“; He later played this song during the twitcam the same day

23- Hannah tweets link to Shorty Awards after fan tells her Louis is in 1st Place “Louis is 1st!! Keep voting please & keep him there :) http://shortyawards.com/category/humor

23- Hannah tweets the link to vote again, this time with Harry and One Direction included “@louis_tomlinson for humor, @harry_styles for fashion & @onedirection for music.. please vote! http://shortyawards.com/category/humor”

23- Hannah announces she is booking flights for Dublin to see the X Factor tour

23- Harry & Louis ride the train back to Surrey around 8PM

23- Hannah tweets a fan 15 minutes before the twitcam begins that she’ll watch the twitcam if she was on her laptop “@1OneDirectionx If I'm on my laptop then yep xx”

23- Harry & Louis do promised twitcam lasting an hour, beginning at 9:53PM and ending at 10:50PM

23- Hannah tweets a fan 20 minutes into the Twitcam “@xsarahloveharry Won't load! Never mind, I'm tired anyway xx”

23- Harry tweets “:) (@Harry_Styles live on http://twitcam.com/3m2lg)“

23- Anne watches the twicam, calls them “my boys”

23- Niall tweets he saw Little Fockers with Zayn at 11:30 PM “ Went to see little fockers wi @zaynmalik and TM..really funny!! ";

The film was still in theaters at the time; They did not go with Harry & Louis to their movie, and likely went to the movie theater an 8 minute bus ride from their hotel

23-Harry tweets at 12:13 AM “I Wish #thepersonunderthistweet A Very Nice Sleep :D .xx“

23- Harry tweets at 12:20 AM “It's not about the Money money money,We don't need your Money money money..We just wanna make the World Dance..forget about The Pricetag :D”

23- only Larry Twitter cam

Harry: Me and Louis had a really nice girl’s day out today.

Louis: Yes. Me and Harry spent all day shopping...dining...eating cookie dough...and watching girly films like The Black Swan. Which ended up being not that girly, quite rude and quite violent.

Harry: [quietly] It was good though.

24- Harry tweets at 7:47 AM “It's National Pie Day...And I got hit in the head with a Cream Egg!! :D”

24-Louis tweets at 6:55 PM “I love every single one of our fans !! You are amazing ! We are so lucky to have you !!”

25- One Direction Twitter account tweets “Good bye to all our lovely fans see you soon , lots of love Louis , Harry , Niall , Zayn and Liam”

25- Louis tweets at 9:18 AM “Please keep voting on the shorty awards it's so close now!”

25- Louis posts link to vote in Shorty Awards “  http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson please vote humour :) RT love you all xx”

25- they arrive at LAX

25- Hannah tweets “I'll do my best to keep you updated on the boys if you all keep me company while they're away? xx”

25- Hannah tweets 2 pictures of Louis

25- Hannah tweets Danielle Peazer, Liam’s very new girlfriend at the time “@DaniellePeazer Lou asked me what I wanted but I didn't have a clue so I'm excited to see what he brings back!Bet we get the same stuff ha!x”

25- Hannah responds to Danielle who said she texted Liam her US clothing sizes with “@DaniellePeazer Oh great well I didn't think of that so I'll trust Louis' judgement haha.. I just want them back safe xx

25- Hannah tweets with the hashtag 1Dupdate to let fans know the boys would land soon in LA “#1Dupdate The boys should be landing soon!! And I think it's about 2pm in America xx  “

25- The boys fly to Los Angeles, arriving at mid afternoon local time

25: Louis tweets “So excited to be in L.A will tweet pictures when I can :) xx”

25: Louis emails Hannah “@larrybromance Lou says the hotel is incredible & they're living not being recognised xx” It was the Days Inn Hollywood.

25- in LA they are whispering and cleny

25-30: The boys in Los Angeles recording “Save You Tonight”

26- Louis tweets from the one direction Twitter- hey everyone me and Harry just had pancakes and maple syrup great way to start the day :) miss you all Louis and Harry x

26- 4 minutes later, Louis tweets from his personal account “Ohh yeah and we had sausage with our pancakes :) x”

26- Hannah replies to Louis’ tweet “@Louis_Tomlinson Sausage and maple syrup together?? That's even worse than pasta on toast x”

26- 6 minutes later, Hannah tweets  “In all fairness to Louis, pasta on toast is quite tasty but makes the bread a bit soggy.. I'd choose that over maple syrup sausages anyway x”

26- Louis tweets a picture of himself “Doing the American look :)"

26- One Direction spotted in West Hollywood with Cher Lloyd and Savan Kotecha Harry and Louis are not far apart the whole time

26: The picture from the train hits the internet

26- Louis tweets from the One Direction twitter account “Having a great time and met up with Savan and cher :) - Louis

26- An hour later, Louis tweets from his personal “Voting closes Monday please keep voting for me on humor guys it means a lot! http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson”

26- Louis then tweets from his personal “lets trend #votelouis :) Please RT :)”

26- 2 minutes later, Louis (most likely) tweets again from the One Direction account “Everyone ! Voting closes on Monday please vote One Direction for music :) http://shortyawards.com/onedirection #voteonedirection  ”

26- At the same time, Louis tweets again from the One Direction account “Also vote Harry for fashion http://shortyawards.com/Harry_Styles :) #voteharry :)”

26- 1 minute later, the One Direction account tweets “And Louis for humor :) http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson #votelouis”

26- Harry tweets “The Sun Has Got His Hat On And He's Coming Out To Play :D”

26- Hannah tweets “Louis has bought new shoes...And no, they aren't Tom's.. America has changed him already! :(”

27- Reports emerge that the first single will be released on March 13th

27-Harry tweets around 8AM “Here comes the sun,du dun doo doo,Here comes the sun,I say...it's alright :D”

27- Harry tweets “Have a good day everyone :D. Will tweet some pictures later from @onedirection :) .xx“

27- Louis tweets at 6:35 PM “  Hello everyone hope your well . Missing tweeting you guys so much ! Xx”

27- Louis tweets at 11PM LA time “I think it's funny how some people are just getting up and I'm not even asleep yet !!”

27- Louis tweets “Keep voting on the shorty awards please #votelouis”

27- Louis tweets a fan “@heyimisabella good babe how are you ? X“

27- Hannah tweets Louis’ Clio was named Cheryl “@katiejburroughs Louis used to drive a Clio (called Cheryl) but he sold it when he went to London so now he hires cars when he's home :) xx“

27- Hannah tweets “Definitely getting used to this Louis not being here thing.. You've all been so lovely to me as always. 3 sleeps until they're back! Night x”

28- Hannah tweets early in the morning UK time/late night LA time “Spoken to Louis - he's having an amazing time, meeting lots of people & now he's going to bed :) xxx”

28- Hannah tweets a fan “@leprechaunxo The only time he ever cooked for me was when he made this tasty salmon pasta :) xx“

28- Anne tweets Jay about the Shorty Awards  “@jaytommo :-) we must be doing something right :) xxxx http://shortyawards.com/category/lovelyonedmummys” ( Harry and Louis' mom's)

28- The One Direction account retweets Harry “RT @Harry_Styles Have a good day everyone :D. Will tweet some pictures later from @onedirection :) .xx“

28- Robin tries to win tickets to the Brit awards and says since “Harry (S) and Lois (T)” can’t go he would take Anne (Harry's step dad)

28- Hannah tweets “@Louis_Tomlinson is only 3 points ahead of 2nd place so can we all please #voteLouis again!! http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson”

28- Harry tweets “ Thank everyone who's been voting me, @louis_Tomlinson and @onedirection in the Shorty Awards...Keep Going!! :D. Love you all .xx“

28- Hannah tweets “When you #voteLouis or #voteHarry you have to make sure your reason has something to do with humour/fashion or it won't count!! RT”

28- Harry tweets from the One Direction Twitter account “  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL_WvOly7mY BEVERLY HILLS!! :D  -Harry .xx http://twitpic.com/3u6zh2″

28- Harry tweets “Look what Liam showed me... HAHAHA!! :D http://yfrog.com/h8r4ejj”

28- Harry tweets from the One Direction account “Sunny Again Today in L.A.!! Have a Good Day Everyone :D  - Harry .xx”

28- Louis tweets “Expected more from skins , disappointed :(”

28-Jay tweets that Louis got into bed with Harry “@tomlinson_love he got in bed with Harry last week lol”  

29- Hannah tweets a fan “@xx_annemarie_xx Louis doesn't have bebo babe xx” ( x ) (Even though it’s well-documented that he did)

29- Hannah tweets what time the boys are landing at Heathrow “  If my maths is correct (and my world clock) the boys will land at 4pm tomorrow UK time which is 8am LA time. That should mean that they leave 5am tomorrow UK time & 9pm tonight LA time. Wow does that make sense??”

29- Anne tweets ”to all those asking: to my knowledge Harry isn't dating anyone”

29- Harry tweets “Have a good day everyone :D. Love you guys and see you soon!! .xxx”

29- The band in West Hollywood posted by Paul on his facebook

29- Ashley (ash_sherls) does a twitcam while drunk with her friend and says Harry isn’t a virgin; An uproar on Twitter ensues; Ashley defends her statement to Twitter user @CaraStalik: “cus trust me...he won’t care.”

30- Hannah tweets “Not long until the boys are home!! #welcomehome1D” and encourages fans to use that hashtag in all tweets

30- Hannah tweets “When I spoke to Louis last night the boys were sunbathing by the pool & didn't want to come home!! Lets trend#welcomehome1D to make them happy to be home”

30- Hannah tweets two fans about something Harry & Louis bought in LA “Louis' are brown & Harry's are sand coloured ha xx” and “Yes they did, lou got brown and Harry got sand x”

30- Hannah tweets “I'm not seeing Louis today, I'm just excited for him to be back in the same country as me!! #welcomehome1D xx“

30- Hannah tweets “They've landed, prepare guys xxx”

30 - The boys arrive back in London and are mobbed at Heathrow

30-Harry tweets “Oh..my..days. Wow!!”

30- Louis tweets from his personal “My jumper got ripped in the chaos so I give it to someone ! Love you all x”

30- Louis tweets from his personal “Every needs to stop saying sorry it's fine it was crazy cos there was so many people but don't worry :) love you all !”

30- Louis tweets from the One Direction account “What a way to be greeted back to the UK how we've missed you :) love you all - Louis x”

30- Jay tweets she talked to Louis & Harry on the phone and the boys are fine

30: Hannah tweets “Please follow mine & Louis' best friend @DanWoollett - he did the live link from Doncaster on the finals & is going to a London tour date :)”

30- Hannah tweets “Feel a bit sick after watching those videos but on a brighter note I love you all for trending #welcomehome1D worldwide all day!!”

30- Louis tweets “http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson - Keep voting :)”

30- Louis tweets “  Massive thanks to @AJ_RedOne @Savan_Kotecha and the rest of the boys !!  “

30- Louis tweets “Just been watching my old Grease videos , it makes me sad :( That was a fantastic part of my life!

30- Louis tweets James Corden “  @JKCorden Jamesy baby chips and gravy how are you old bean ?”

30- Harry tweets “Goodnight :D Thanks for all the support..you guys are amazing...seriously. .xx”

30- Louis tweets “Voting closes tomorrow and I am 200 votes behind please keep voting me for humour :)http://shortyawards.com/Louis_Tomlinson.”

30-Louis tweets “Let's trend #votelouistomlinson”

30-Louis gives instructions on how to vote “You can only vote once and have to leave a reason or it will not count. #votelouistomlinson”

30-Louis tweets Joe Kennedy and Ashley Wills “@joekenners @AshWills84 Hey mate yeah I'm really good! yeah was a top day , hope to have another day soon! Just signed Ash on FM haha“

31- At around 6:45PM, @CaraStalik creates the Twitter account @HarrysVirginity and puts in the bio “I seem to be lost according to @ash_sherls”

My thoughts

Harry and Louis spend most of the month together.

They went on a few dates

Hannah spent most of her time tweeting Louis

Louis never tweeted Hannah

Hannah had no clue when they actually started dating.

Harry was not a virgin.

[cicatriselle-blog]

Ouch.

(Also known as: here’s how piercing my nipples was a glorious act of self-care and an important step in my recovery/healing/story!)

Sooo. Hi. It’s been a while. This is going to be long and rambling.

I got my nipples pierced a month ago. This is something I’ve been wanting to do for at least five or six years. it connects to Longtime in that when I’ve expressed that previously, he never explicitly was like, “no, you can’t do that”…but he very much made clear that he did not like that idea or the look and generally all sorts of negative-nope-naysay comments. Then, with the boy (who has all sorts of piercings, including his nipples, that he’d done himself—yes, I know, sigh)…I’d talked about it with him, and he said he’d pierce my nipples for me. Luckily, that never came to pass for a variety of reasons (the boy had supposedly pierced a lot of people in high school, but had stopped), but it goes to show how much I trusted the boy and how incorrectly calibrated my good idea meter was because of that. During our situationship (thanks @thegassedlight) there was even a point where he offhandedly let me know he’d pierced [some random girl’s name I’d never heard previously]. I was like. Uh. I’m not okay that you just, did that? Without saying anything or asking or letting me know? And he was like sorry, blah blah blah. (I am pretty sure he probably did indeed, but that he did it to his now-wife.) ANYWAY. Anyway.

The boy had really emotionally abused/fucked over another girl, whom he’d introduced me to and we’d interacted with a few times, whom I’ll refer to as Red. I poured my heart out to her the night and days following The Shit, and she and I traded timelines and found out that there was even a point that he was cheating on (at least??) me, Red, and his current wife. At some point I talked about the nipple piercings, one of the many things he said he’d/we’d do and it never happened, and she shared with me that her current boyfriend is a piercer and if I wanted to get it done to just let her know. (And I loved that narrative; getting my nipples pierced by the boyfriend of another girl who (was unfortunately) emotionally destroyed by the boy, too, but who is now doing so, so much better, and is loved by someone else that’s so, so much healthier for her.)

August 16th, 2017 was significant in that it was the day I broke up with the boy. I’d written a wonderful letter to him two days prior that I’ll post in a bit, which basically said either we do this or we don’t, I’m not tolerating this shit anymore, that I’m healing with or without him. We came together on the 16th…and he told me he wanted to help me heal….but as friends. Even though we’d been fucking and acting like a couple and not even two weeks prior had gone on a romantic camping trip. Why had I written him this letter at all? After our lovely trip toward the end of July 2017, my Spidey sense was tingling again in mid-August, as it did from time to time. I hadn’t looked in a while, but something told me to go look at [his now wife]’s Instagram. She’d blocked me on there for some weird reason (I have a feeling he’d taken her phone and done so), so I opened an incognito tab and saw a picture wherein she thanked the boy for dyeing her hair so well (despite him having told me he’d cut off contact with her since earlier in the year, other than some bullshit about how she was living with his best friend [x] and that’s why asdkajdlak I can’t even go into that. But because he’d told me he wanted me, he wanted to work on us, that he was choosing this relationship and had severed the relationship with her because I told him that can’t happen if you have any contact with her). Anyway. The dyed hair thing. I can’t even remember what he said in response, that he was at a friend’s house, and that she showed up, and needed help dyeing her hair, something. It was so stupid. SO, so, so, so, stupid. I didn’t believe it then. So I wrote him this letter. I was done with him telling me bullshit. I had reached a point where I was perfectly ready for the relationship to continue, with major changes, or for the relationship to end, and that be that. But it never ONCE occurred to me that he might not want to be with me romantically. That he thought of me as just a friend. Because I certainly don’t go on romantic camping trips/do couple-y things/have sex with “just a friend.” Eye. fucking. roll.

Anyway. So another anniversary was coming up. I was feeling anxious about it. It was looming over me, as all these benchmarks seem to do for some weird reason. That whole tumblr post about anxiety being like hearing the boss music but you don’t see the boss, that sums it up. Or, like the theme from Jaws, as I said to a friend of mine recently. Foreboding. Ominous. About a week beforehand, the nipple piercings thing popped up in my mind again. I thought it over a day, and then reached out to Red. It felt like it was the right time. We talked a bit. And then I picked out the jewelry I wanted and she said she’d let her boyfriend know and that they’d arrive in the shop in about a week.

I told Red that I was intending to get them done the 16th. Work had been decent that day, but I was physically feeling weird all day, and started second-guessing myself. I had a tearful therapy session that afternoon. And then on the way home, I was like, fuck this, I’m going to fucking do it. I’m re-authoring this story. I’m replacing this day with something positive. This is the day I got my nipples pierced. Not the day the boy somehow broke my heart in a new way, not the day I remember walking away from him in the rain, not the day I expected a no but got somehow an even worse answer. I’m erasing that memory with this one; the pencil marks under it still remind me that I wrote something else first, but what I’m choosing to write instead is there now because I wanted it to be there.

Once I stopped waffling in my head, I messaged my roommate and she was happy to come along for support (who also has her nipples pierced). I went and picked up Red (WHO ALSO HAS HER NIPPLES PIERCED). Red and I have interacted several times in real life, but I finally got to meet her cat and she came over and saw my place. I packed a “don’t faint/seize/etc” bag with some mini Snickers bars and a tiny can of Mountain Dew (along with more sensible items like dark chocolate-covered almonds and crackers) and the three of us went to the shop. I was really nervous. But I was totally, nobody can change my mind or tell me what to fucking do, I-worked-13 hours-over-what-I-was-hired-for-this-pay-period-so-I’m-gonna-spend-it-on-meeee, 100% going to pierce my nipples.

I felt at ease when we got there and I met her boyfriend. He knew ALL about the boy—knew intimately how he had fucked Red over, the lingering damage he’d done, and knew how he had destroyed me in a new way because she’d talked about me. There was an apprentice with him, too. It turned out that everyone BUT me in that damn room (so, 4 out of 5 people) had their nipples pierced. I nervously made some joke about not being part of the cool kids club. But I felt safe.

I imagine that getting your nipples/anything else of the sort is kind of a weird situation to begin with. But I knew Red, my roommate…and knew “of”/but had only just met her boyfriend. I wanted both Red and my roommate there, but it was a little trippy to take off my tank top and unlatch my front-closing bra (which I never wear, but it seemed like a perfect time to actually do so) and show my breasts in front of 4 people who had previously never seen them before while he marked my nipples for placement.

(Also, props to Red: dude is so much cuter than the boy, so sweet, doesn’t drink at all, takes care of himself, and gave off super calming vibes. And has actually good tattoos and a stable job. It made me go. Oh, yeah girl, he’s fucking cute. If you can heal from what he did to you and find love again, maybe I can too.)

Red had previously offered to hold my hand and as we got ready she grabbed my hand (which, now that I’m thinking about it, is probably the only physical contact we’ve ever had) and it was so comforting. Red’s boyfriend was very professional and I trusted him totally, he walked me through how he’s going to do it and when he wants me to breathe and all that. The week prior, Red had told me he’d ask which nipple was more sensitive, which is a question I’d never asked myself before; I went, huh, I…don’t know, and then banjo-strummed both, and found out that my left nipple is indeed more sensitive. (I was so excited to find something new about myself I didn’t know before, haha.) So he pierced that one first.

I felt fine initially, and then started feeling weird. I said, I don’t know if I’m faint-y or not yet, but I let him know I felt kind of weird and he gave me a cool washcloth and told me to just relax and breathe. I said, hold on, let’s see what my pulse is, and my pulse was 53, so I asked for my “don’t faint” bag and chugged my tiny little can of Mountain Dew. We waited several minutes and then I was like, okay, pulse is back to normal, let’s do the other one. And did it!

It didn’t hurt too badly. I loved how they looked. It was a perception-changing act for me. Not only was I saying fuck you to Longtime (who’d poopoo-ed the idea many times in our relationship), but I was replacing “here is another thing the boy said he’d do and didn’t [and probably did with his now wife]” with “I went out and fucking did this myself on a meaningfully significant date that I previously had associated with something painful and I made it part of my healing narrative.” I caused myself actual physical trauma, triggering some feelings and sensations and emotions I had not felt in a while, in a controlled, supportive environment. I got to pick how the hurt happened that day. And the hurt wasn’t the focus of the whole thing; I wanted to do it because I’d been wanting to do it for years. I wanted to do something to make myself feel beautiful. Instead of having a panic attack thinking about the minutiae of that evening the year before, I got to have my new day. I took all the elements—the boy, nipple piercings, Red, Red’s boyfriend being an actual piercer, August 16th, my roommate—and I got to redo it all. Instead of having my nipples pierced by someone who systematically abused me, I had my nipples pierced by the boyfriend of someone who had experienced some of the same things, by the same person, and she’s here holding my hand as I leap into this experience and the boy is not. I wanted to connect these threads in my life in a way that felt empowering and healing and transformative. It was beautiful and sunny that evening. We had the windows down on the way home. A new memory. A rewrite.

I’m so glad I did it. I thought I was CURED of anxiety for about a week afterwards (spoiler alert: I was merely riding on the high of all sorts of adrenaline and pain responses and other hormones, I’m sure, haha). I felt so calm and cool and collected in a way I never had. Relaxed. At peace. And then “I” came back. Anxiety came back. Freaking out about work came back. But since then, I just. I don’t know. It feels different. It was a really healing act for me. I’m so proud of myself.

I’m going to stop here for now. But that’s where I am. My therapist told me she’s moving to California in a month yesterday. A year ago, I would’ve had a crisis. It would’ve been super jarring and I’d be in meltdown mode. I guess, I did do that, since my old therapist basically dumped me right after I found out that the boy had gotten married to the girl he’d cheated on me with ten months prior. tI think I am kind of having a micro-one, but the fact that I finally de-emotionally constipated myself by writing all this out, feels better. I think I’m sad about it. Yet I think this is the push I need to actually start trauma-based work/EMDR. We talked about it in session yesterday and she agreed. She asked if I wanted to continue seeing her or start transitioning now, and I said. It would be good to have a therapeutic situation wherein I actually have termination carried out properly, since I have never done that, and I would like for us to process and discuss our relationship ending so that it can happen in a positive way. Like. Woah, me.

She agreed I’m doing better, too. I have been exercising regularly, for the first time, since, childhood?? And it makes my brain feel better? WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME? (I might be being a little sarcastic regarding that query.) Eating is still not great. I am using my DBT skills naturally, which is cool. It often does still feel like whack-a-mole—once I feel like I have something figured out, another problem pops up. I guess that’s life, though.

Wow. How my mind meandered. I took my medication this afternoon with the intent to look back at my journals, something, I don’t know. (I was prescribed intranasal ketamine in PHP last December for treatment-resistant depression; it’d always been something I wanted to try but was out of my reach until I ended up at that hospital’s program). I grabbed the journal I’d kept during that time (the first ever composition notebook I completely filed every page of), the one I’d started after that, and the 2 wire bound notebooks I kept when I was with the boy, hoping to finally face head-on some of these things I’ve been avoiding re-processing for a while. I think part of it was me wanting to activate myself. In a healthy way, but also maybe not. I feel really good about the thing with my therapist but I know there are elements at work in my brain, things I have no control over, that are probably dealing with abandonment, again. Again again again again. It feels better now, I feel more in-tune with myself, but I know that some of these things I don’t have any control over. So maybe that’s why I wanted to grab all of these notebooks and re-activate myself. I dunno.

I feel good. Things are okay. I still hurt a lot. But it’s okay.

[frootgutz]

So very sad. The person who I believe has taught me to be the warmest version of myself deserves nothing but happiness in their life. Genuinely one of the smartest people I know like GENUINELY the only person I can have endless conversations with about absolutely EVERYTHING and never get bored. We go from talking abt peepee poopoo and then wind up having hours worth of conversation abt politics and fashion and music and people and EVERYTHING !!!!!! I can genuinely be myself around you and I constantly feel like your conversation is literal brain food to me. Today we drove to San Francisco and literally not one second of the ride was silent at all. We didn’t even have music on and I can find myself always getting lost in such informational conversations with you. The fact that you’re going through so much right now makes me want to shelter you from any negative emotions or problems in the world. I hate that you feel so upset and sad and responsible and like you have no control. Literally the person that changed my perspective on life. Taught me to be warmer and kinder and more understanding. I hate that you always find some sort of good in people or light when I’m in my moment where I just want to be mad. You’re literally such a patient person and literally every day I strive to be more and more like you !!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope to one day have the same amount of patience, understanding and warmth as you.

[kewpieandco]

Strolling with Kewpie

October 3, 2018

Although it is hard for me to believe, my little Kewpie doll is almost two-and-a-half years old already!  She has passed all the baby milestones like rolling over, sitting up, eating solid foods, and crawling.  Now she is onto bigger and better milestones like talking….a lot.  Not talking like, “Mama” “Dada.”  No.  Talking like, “Mommy, why does it smell like a skunk in this car?!” or “Oh that was a loud pass gas! I need to cover my ears.”  And while I marvel at how articulate my sweet baby has become, I have found myself in more and more awkward situations due to Kewpie’s loud public announcements.

Many of these announcements come during our morning walks.  When the weather is favorable I strap Kewpie into the stroller, give her a Tupperware full of dry Cheerios, and we set off to explore the great outdoors.  At this time, I get my exercise and vitamin D, while Kewpie provides a running commentary on the world around her.  She describes the stench and noise level of the chickens at the neighbor’s house down the street, then insists on me picking one petal from the wild sunflowers that grow on the side of the road so that she can feel its silky softness. And it is not until she has heard the tinkling of the wind chimes at another neighbor’s house that she can finally settle into her seat and quietly observe nature.

The following is an example of one day’s worth of comments that proceed out of Kewpie’s mouth during the remainder of our walks about the town.

I try to make sure we always go on a walk on Wednesday because it is Kewpie’s favorite day of the week, trash day.  Ever since Kewpie became aware of the happenings of the world, she has had a deep love of trash trucks and all things garbage.  Strolling around the neighborhood and seeing everyone’s trash cans lining the street makes her angelic face glow with unbridled joy.  And the best event of all is when we time our walks perfectly and get lucky enough to see the trash truck in action!

On this particular Wednesday, we were the lucky winners.  The trash truck was a bit ahead of us and we had a front row seat of it’s magnificent work.  The truck lifted the bulging barrel with its mighty arm and dumped the rotting garbage into its huge bin with a tremendous crash.

“Yay trash truck!” Kewpie yelled, clapped her hands, and kicked her feet against the stroller. “You DID IT!”  She waved enthusiastically at the driver as if to congratulate him on his accomplishment, and then we parted ways and continued on our walk.

Next we visited the horses that live behind us and down the street.  As always, the horses were enjoying their morning serving of hay.

“Horsies, you eating breakfast?!” Kewpie called, her little voice carrying a surprising distance.  “Eww, it smells like poop.”

Kewpie has a fascination with excrement.  Not with touching it, thank goodness, but with discussing it in great detail.  So sensing a long discussion ahead that would best be conducted in the privacy of our home, I quickly moved the stroller along the road and left the horse droppings behind us.

“What a beautiful day it is, Kewpie,” I said. “Thank You God for giving us such a nice day to be outside.”

Kewpie immediately added onto the prayer, “And thank You for the trash truck.”  No day is complete in our family without thanking the Good Lord for Waste Management.

We turned right and started walking around a loop of houses, many of which have dogs in their yards.  I try to silently sneak by the dogs unseen so as not to cause a chain reaction of barking all around the neighborhood.  But Kewpie is not content to pass quietly by.

“Doggies, where are YOOOOOOOOOOU?!” Kewpie bellowed from the stroller.  The response was immediate.  Every dog within two blocks started barking and causing a ruckus.  Kewpie beamed.

On one of the straight stretches of road we saw a neighbor walking toward us with his little dog on a leash.  It was one of those distances where it was too far to start talking to each other, and too close to ignore the other person’s presence.  Kewpie took no note of this unspoken social awkwardness and started babbling away about the approaching duo.  At one point, the little dog sniffed a plant on the side of the road, and I knew what was coming next.

Kewpie gasped and shrieked, “His doggy is going poopoo!”  She pointed an accusing finger at the tiny canine as we passed in a hurry.  Luckily the neighbor smiled, but I couldn’t help but cringe as Kewpie held onto the subject, and her words continued to echo through the streets after we had turned the corner, “Going poopooooooo!”

After a moment of silence I thought we were in the clear.  Then I heard a man behind me say, “Coming up on your left.”  It was another neighbor on a bicycle who we often meet on our walks.  He is a retired man and has said that Kewpie reminds him of his granddaughter, so of course he’s smitten with her cuteness.

“Here is a flower for you,” He said, handing a sunflower to Kewpie.

“Say ‘thank you,’ Kewpie,” I said.  Kewpie did not obey.  She just held the flower and frowned up at the man with her distinct furrowed brow.

“Well have a nice day,” Said the neighbor as he pedaled off down the hill.

As soon as the man left our company, Kewpie began to admire her flower and sing its praises.  She also became upset that the flower man had gone away.

“Where’s the man?!” She shouted.  Then she saw him still riding his bike down the hill.  She pointed.  “He’s on his bicycle!  I love that man!  There’s the man—“

But Kewpie stopped mid-sentence, for something far more intriguing had captured her attention.  A neighbor had just hurried out of his house.  The sound of the advancing trash truck had no doubt reminded him that he had not put his garbage bin out on the curb, and he was rushing to wheel the contraption down his driveway.  The only unfortunate thing about this situation was that in his haste, the elderly man had forgotten to put a shirt on before going outside.  

Well, Kewpie simply could not let this incident go unannounced.  She sat bolt upright in her stroller, pointed to the unsuspecting man, and broadcasted to the neighborhood, “That boy is NAKED!!!  He’s a NAKED boy Mama!!!”

The poor man and I both turned the same shade of red.  He tried to cover his exposed flabbiness, but there is not much one can do on a long, open driveway.  I tried to rush past his house as fast as possible, but Kewpie’s news flash did not cease.  She finally made one last attempt to tell that world that, “THAT BOY IS NAAAAAAKEEEED!” And then she fell back against her stroller, exhausted from the exertion. 

She sat in silence during the last block of our walk, no doubt pondering the events of the day.  As soon as we arrived home, she burst through the front door, thrust her freshly picked sunflower into Teddy’s face and said, “Teddy, I saw a naked boy today!”  All I could think was, Obviously we need to rehearse a new opening line before Daddy gets home from work tonight! 

[a-darling-thing]

Thanks for the response about Miss Sherlock. Wasn't trying to poopoo it before seeing it just couldn't help noticing the similar aesthetics. Hope it didn't come off too negative.

Yeah, no.  You’re fine.  And I’m sure there will be some BBC Sherlock influence there, but I’m willing to give it a chance to stand on it’s own two feet. 

It’s an 8 episode series, so it has time to work out it’s own identity.  And then, of course, if it were to get picked up for a second season it would have even more room to develop that.

I’m just hoping that I’ll be able to see it when it comes out.  I’m assuming it will be on HBO On-Demand here in the States as well as on HBO Asia.

It seems like interest is really high.  The post I made about it got 16K+ notes in less that 24 hours.  That’s unprecedented for anything I’ve ever posted here.  And despite the fact that people are being predictably tumblr-ish in the notes,  it’s nice to see that so many people are interested in a femlock adaption.  

There are few to none of them out there.  There is ‘My Dearly Beloved Detective’ which is Russian and from the 1980s, and then I saw someone mention in the notes of my post that there is a Korean adaptation called Mystery Queen (16 episodes).  But upon further research it seems that it just has a female Sherlock, not a female Watson.  Same with Elementary.  Female Watson, but a male Sherlock.  So other than My Dearly Beloved Detective, which was quite some time ago, this might be it.

I’m hoping it will be good.  Many times when it comes to femlock adaptations I feel like beggars can’t be choosers. It’s a veritable desert out there.

[vertcoinreddit]

Thought I would share this chat I had with James Lovejoy last night. Super generous of him to provide this much access and time answering questions. I was already a HODL'er, but this solidified it.beerfinger [1:28 AM] Just read through the entire rebranding thread in the Vertcoin subreddit. Earlier today I also watched some of Crypto Hedge's interview of James Lovejoy from last August on YouTube. I understand both sides of the rebranding argument and have tried to play devil's advocate. Right now I do believe that the argument against rebranding is stronger. Full disclosure: I've worked in marketing/advertising my whole career and just recently got into cryptos. With that said, there are two questions that keeps nagging on me:[1:28] 1. this coin has been around since 2014, so nearly 4 years. James seems like an incredibly smart and capable chap, but I'm just going to go ahead and assume the he hasn't always been the Lead Dev while he was in high school. Presumably there was someone before him and, after he graduates and moves on to whatever it is he's going to do with his life, there will be someone after him. Yes? So, with all due respect to James, as an investor in VTC, what assurances are there that this isn't merely an interesting side-project for a brilliant MIT student with little interest/incentive in its value as an investment portfolio? If the value of this coin to James is that of a college project, that is something I as an investor would like to know.jamesl22 [1:32 AM] Hey![1:33] I've been the lead dev since Nov 2014[1:33] (while I was in high school)[1:33] And I've kept at it through college, I certainly don't intend to go anywhere[1:33] Plus, there are more who work on this project that just mebeerfinger [1:33 AM] 2. I've read complaints about Vertcoin from people who poopoo its usefulness. Decrying it as "just another coin trying to be Bitcoin with not much differentiating it." People don't seem to view the ASIC thing as a big enough differentiator to make VTC stand out. There seems to be a kernel of truth to that as part of the argument against rebranding seems to be a tacit acknowledgement that it should not occur until a major change in the development is launched. So my question again stems back to James' motivations and incentives here. Is this a convenient use case for some college thesis? Or is the team really working on coming up with a major change in development?[1:34] hey James! wow, thanks so much for your quick response[1:34] great to actually communicate with you. and I stand corrected. very impressive that you started on this so young. I can see why MIT accepted you :slightly_smiling_face:[1:36] my questions still stand though: I'm not trying to insult you so I hope you don't take it that way, but as someone who considers VTC part of my investment portfolio, I am very curious to hear about your incentives. You clearly have noble intentions. But what is your ultimate goal? What's the end game? Is it the same as Satoshi's was? (assuming he was really one person who existed)[1:37] Or is there something else?jamesl22 [1:37 AM] I think it's the same as Satoshi's[1:37] To recreate the financial system in a fairer, more distributed way[1:37] My research at MIT is totally separate to my work on VTC, though the two are complimentary (both are in cryptocurrency)[1:38] In my ideal world everyone runs a VTC miner and full node in their home, banks become narrow banks and clearing houses/stock exchanges are a thing of the past[1:39] The rewards of the financial system (in the form of transaction fees) will be distributed to the people, rather than siphoned off by banks or ASIC manufacturers as happens now (edited)goodminer [1:40 AM] :thumbsup:beerfinger [1:40 AM] I see. That is compelling. So, being that's the case, that sounds to me like something worthy of a brand, no?[1:41] Unless you think there are other coins on the market with the same goals. In which case, what will differentiate VTC?jamesl22 [1:42 AM] I don't think there are any on the market with as strong of an ideology as us[1:42] Or any that can demonstrate that it follows through on its commitments[1:42] The way I see it, VTC went from being worth $0.01 last year to 100x that now[1:43] I don't see how a rebrand can possible accelerate already parabolic growth[1:43] Bear in mind, that until a few months ago we had 0 marketing, that is where our focus should be nowbeerfinger [1:44 AM] Fair. I'm curious, what do you think it SHOULD be worth?[1:44] I mean right now, at this moment.jamesl22 [1:44 AM] I don't think I should say, the SEC might be watching usbeerfinger [1:44 AM] Not in the future.[1:44] haha[1:44] ok[1:44] Can you say if you feel it is undervalued?[1:44] or overvaluedjamesl22 [1:45 AM] I will say with confidence that 95% of the top 100 is severely overvaluedbeerfinger [1:45 AM] coins you meanjamesl22 [1:45 AM] Yes[1:45] On coinmarketcap[1:45] If you visit most of their websites, there is no code at all[1:45] Yet it's worth many times what VTC is worth[1:46] Where VTC has been established for nearly 4 years, bug free and features well demonstrated[1:46] VTC also had LN and SegWit on main net before LTC or BTC (edited)beerfinger [1:46 AM] Yes I mean your statement doesn't surprise me. It's a nacent market. Lots of snake oil, clearly.[1:47] I guess to steer this back towards the branding/marketing of your coin though, you clearly feel strongly about it and have a clear vision. Do you feel that as it stands the branding conveys that sentiment?jamesl22 [1:47 AM] When you say branding, I assume you mean "vertcoin" and the logo?beerfinger [1:48 AM] yes. logo, color scheme, etc...[1:48] name even[1:49] also to clarify one point, when I say that you clearly feel strongly about it, the "it" refers to your coin (not the marketing of it)jamesl22 [1:49 AM] I think it's largely arbitrarybeerfinger [1:49 AM] why is thatjamesl22 [1:49 AM] Most coin names have no meaning whatsoever[1:49] Google, the largest tech company in the world has a silly name[1:50] Litecoin (whose name ought to imply it has fewer features) is #4beerfinger [1:51 AM] I wouldn't underestimate the amount of strategy that went into branding Google (and continues to this day)jamesl22 [1:51 AM] What's most important is the pitch, how can you convince someone who knows nothing about the technicals behind cryptocurrency, that ASIC resistance and decentralisation is important?[1:51] Yes, but the original branding was arbitrary and haphazard[1:52] Yet the technology spoke for itself[1:52] Now it's in the dictionary[1:53] Spending lots of time and money on a new name/logo, trying to get community consensus on that and then redesigning the website/subreddit/wallets/other services to reflect the changes is not where I think we should focus our small resources[1:54] My goal over the next year or two is to take VTC from speculative value to real-world value[1:54] So point of sale, ease of use, that's the focus now[1:55] I aim to over time provide complete solutions for merchants to implement VTC at point of sale, for laymen to set up nodes and miners in their homes[1:55] As well as potentially enterprise support if we get big enoughbeerfinger [1:55 AM] It sounds like this is your intended career path then, yes?jamesl22 [1:55 AM] In some shape or form, yesbeerfinger [1:55 AM] Wonderful[1:55] When do you graduate, James?[1:55] If you don't mind me askingslackbot Custom Response [1:55 AM] I AM talking to you aren't I !jamesl22 [1:56 AM] Charlie Lee worked at Coinbase for several years before returning to LTC a month or two ago[1:56] 2019beerfinger [1:56 AM] So you're a Sophomore? Or are you in graduate school?jamesl22 [1:57 AM] Juniorchuymgzz [1:58 AM] @beerfinger can you imagine when people first heard the word "dollar" like WTF is a dollar where did it actually came from. It actually comes from Czech joachimsthaler, which became shortened in common usage to thaler or taler. Don't pay much attention to the name Vertcoin, just take a look at the tech. If you buy into this coin's ideology, you will actually start to like the name.jin [1:58 AM] Hey guys :slightly_smiling_face:[1:59] @chuymgzz but not everyone looks purely at the tech, if we look at the top 100 coins, you would know whats going on :stuck_out_tongue:beerfinger [1:59 AM] Cool well thanks for indulging me, James. I really appreciate it. Hopefully this conversation continues in the future. While your probably right that right now is probably not the right time, that doesn't mean at some point in the future it won't be. In the meantime, I'll take comfort in the knowledge that I've invested in a worthy cause.chuymgzz [1:59 AM] Longer term only the functional ones and the ones that deliver will survive and a whole ecosystem will be built around itjin [1:59 AM] buzz and hype is unfortunately a large part of itbeerfinger [2:00 AM] *you'rejin [2:00 AM] that is true, but without marketing to draw in attention (which leads to usage and so on etc) it will be difficult for a functional one to survive evenbeerfinger [2:07 AM] @james122 One more thing: how do you feel about regulation? Pro or con? Do you feel that the idea of nation states like the US and China (ergo the ICO ban) taking it upon themselves to place restrictions on the market to try and make them safer is anathema to the idea of decentralization? Are you a full on libertarian in that respect? Or do you welcome regulation because it'll separate the wheat from the chaff?jamesl22 [2:07 AM] I think we need a sane amount of regulation[2:08] ICOs are clearly illegal imo[2:08] Unless they are performed under the same rules as an IPO[2:09] Plus I don't want to create a safe harbour for child pornographers, people traffickers and terrorists to store their money[2:09] However I do think the state has no right to spy on you without a warrant (edited)beerfinger [2:09 AM] You mean you don't want to be Monero? :slightly_smiling_face:jamesl22 [2:09 AM] No[2:10] I will pursue privacy features that make the pseudoanonymity provided by the blockchain easier for people to use effectively[2:11] That way, it is not obvious to anyone your holdings or transactions publicly (edited)[2:11] But things like sting operations would still be theoretically possiblebeerfinger [2:13 AM] Love it. I still feel the branding thing will need to be revisited at some point. I don't know what that means, exactly. Whether its as small as a font change to something bigger like a new color scheme, logo or even name, I'm not sure of. The ideology is strong, but as it stands Vertcoin doesn't have a clear differentiator in the market. I'm not sure that matters so much yet at this time, but it will.[2:15] You clearly have a strong vision, I'm just not sure it's being communicated effectively yet. Hence, haters who say Vertcoin is just trying to be another Bitcoin.workstation [2:15 AM] beerfinger might be a huge whale sniffing out Vertcoin before a huge loadup. Not that, that's a bad thing :stuck_out_tongue:beerfinger [2:15 AM] haha... I wishjamesl22 [2:16 AM] Vertcoin is trying to be another Bitcoin lol[2:16] It's picking up where Bitcoin left off[2:16] If people want a decentralised cryptocurrency, they should use Vertcoin[2:17] Bitcoin just isn't one anymore[2:17] Neither is Litecoin (edited)beerfinger [2:20 AM] Semantics really, but if that's the case then that means Vertcoin isn't trying to be another Bitcoin. Bitcoin is already Bitcoin, which is a coin that did not fulfill it's promises. Vertcoin, on the other hand, like you said picks up where Bitcoin left off. I'm not sure that's being communicated by the brand (yet). Doing so may have nothing to do with rebranding (unless rebranding generates a bigger social following who then helps you communicate that).workstation [2:20 AM] You've continued on a great coin James and no doubt Vertcoin has great features vs other coins, however without widespread use and adoption, Vertcoin might just become another coin without much use. The marketing side is sometimes even more important than the development side. Just need to look at history for that. E.g. Early version of Windows was buggy, bluescreen of death plagued it. But with heaps of $$ and marketing, Windows is pretty rock solid these days.atetnowski [2:21 AM] joined #marketing.jamesl22 [2:22 AM] Yes, agreed to both statements[2:22] We're working on it, but it takes time and money[2:23] But really, adoption is pointless until point of sale works properly[2:23] When you can get it into people's physical wallets, or phone and they can spend it in a store, that's when it takes off (edited)[2:23] Walmart, Target, all the big retailers hate Visa and Mastercardworkstation [2:24 AM] Thats a long way off... Even Apple and Samsung are struggling in that areajamesl22 [2:24 AM] They would love a solution that opted them out of having to pay their feesbeerfinger [2:25 AM] @workstation To play devil's advocate for one sec, most successful people in the world don't achieve success because they tried to achieve success. Success is merely a byproduct of their passion. I do believe that James' commitment to the ideology can be sufficient. But it is true that the branding should communicate his vision. That is a constant conversation, too.workstation [2:25 AM] yes, truejamesl22 [2:26 AM] What we really need is talented content creators to make compelling media that explains the vision in a layman friendly way[2:26] Thus far the message has been far too technical[2:26] But in the past, the space was mostly populated by technical people so that is understandable[2:26] It is only in the last 6 months that the general public has started to get involved[2:27] Sadly "ASIC resistance" doesn't speak to thembeerfinger [2:27 AM] @james122 While it's true that universal adoption is key, you can say that about ANY coin. Even dogecoin would suddenly become a real coin if everyone up and decided to start using it one day. What's your strategy for making VTC that coin?jamesl22 [2:27 AM] Whereas I think taking power from banks, chinese miners and giving it back to the people can be far more compellingworkstation [2:27 AM] We take Visa and Mastercard at our stores. We only do it because it boosts sales. People these days are all borrowing on credit because they don't have enough.... Paying on their CC# lets them buy things now (instant gratification) and slowly pay later. They managed to get banks on board because they make so much money on the interest. There is a clear reason why those cards satisfy a demand. We get charged about 1.5% by VISA/MC. To be honest, it's not a real deal breaker.beerfinger [2:27 AM] haha, well, james you're talking to the right guy :slightly_smiling_face:[2:28] My career is content creation[2:28] I have nearly 20 years producing commercials and (lately) social content for global brandsmikevert [2:29 AM] joined #marketing.beerfinger [2:29 AM] I would be happy to consult and provide any assistance I can[2:29] "taking power from banks, chinese miners and giving it back to the people can be far more compelling" - that's your modus operandi[2:29] you can definitely tell that story in a compelling way[2:30] Question: have any crypto's ever created any sort of ad before? Even just for social content? (sorry, I'm new to this space)jamesl22 [2:30 AM] Well we'd obviously be grateful for your assistance[2:31] I'd imagine so, though I don't follow many other coins' social media very muchgoodminer [2:31 AM] @beerfinger lets chat :smile: We've been working on a lot of initiatives over the last few weeksjamesl22 [2:31 AM] @workstation 1.5% to a huge retailer is a large sum of money thoughworkstation [2:35 AM] I don't see any coin being widely used to be honest. They fluctuate way too much. Say a typical consumer whose after tax salary is $1000/week.. He buys groceries at the store for $1/Liter. This is simple maths for him, he knows it's going to cost $1 each week, inflation may make it rise to $1.10 next year, but he understands that. With coins, the price of his milk is too hard to calculate.[2:37] Why would Bob switch to using coins, when Visa/MC give him so much more? He doesnt pay the processing fee (1.5%), he gets free credit (these days, banks will easily approve 10k credits). Why would he switch to Vertcoin?jamesl22 [2:37 AM] @workstation, volatility is high because market volume is low[2:38] I think it will take another financial crisis or two though before people start to abandon fractional reserve banking (edited)workstation [2:42 AM] As long as bob gets his paycheck, he's not going to care what happens at the fedjamesl22 [2:43 AM] Bob ain't gunna get his paycheck one day though[2:44] Because the credit ponzi scheme economy will have collapsedworkstation [2:48 AM] yes, the fed can print whatever it wants out of thin air... But its backed by US tax payers to the tune of 2+ trillion/year with most banks adhering to loan capital requirements. E.g. they need a certain amount of money deposited before they can loan more money out. What is Bitcoin/alt coins backed by? Seems like its somewhat of a ponzi scheme now, with everyone piling in thinking it will go up forever. I get that BTC is backed by real energy usage/capital requirements to mine it (asic equipment, datacenters, etc), so its more "real" than $1 USD, but they both service a purpose.axelfoley75 [2:49 AM] joined #marketing.workstation [2:51 AM] but whats the end goal because it seems they all become ponzi schemes. The only true coin will be one that will not allow any fiats be converted to to coin.[2:51] the only way to earn a coin, would be to mine it, wouldn't you think that that would be the truest coin?[2:52] right now people are just moving wads of fiat money into coins/alt coins, thereby skewing everything.beerfinger [2:54 AM] just jumping in here with one last comment before I go to sleep: money, whether we're talking salt, precious metals, fiat currency, or cryptos, is just something that we all agree to prescribe a value to. That being the case, how are you going to stop someone from trading that value for something they want? If someone wants to trade their cryptos for chickens, a latte, USD or anything else, they're going to do it. No point in trying to regulate what people spend their money on or how they do it. Seems the antithesis of the whole decentralization thing anywayworkstation [2:57 AM] trueaegisker [3:02 AM] I belive when crypto matures, has fast and easy payments solutions, volume will rise and price will be more stable. Current price is speculation due to news and new development. I dont belive that after 10 years we will be seeing such swings.beerfinger [3:04 AM] sorry keep thinking of new stuff... @jamesl22 your point about POS is salient. What's your perspective on coins like TenX that try to address that with payment platforms and cards?[3:05] is that what you mean? nuts & bolts, how would Vertcoin become a POS option?aegisker [3:06 AM] How is usdt keeping its price around usd?beerfinger [3:07 AM] don't they just keep up with USD inflation by making sure there's an equal amount of tokens to USD in the market at any given point?jamesl22 [3:07 AM] Integration of LN and AS is key[3:07] Then providing some hardware or software solution to integrate with payment processors[3:07] I haven't looked at tenxbeerfinger [3:07 AM] so Vertcoin IS actively pursuing this then[3:08] interesting[3:09] perhaps there's some way to leverage things like ApplePayjamesl22 [3:09 AM] I doubt it[3:09] ApplePay's design is fundamentally differentbeerfinger [3:09 AM] I mean it doesn't have to be ApplePay itself. Can be a separate applucky [3:09 AM] Having bitcoin or altcoins tied to your debit card isn't unbelievablejamesl22 [3:10 AM] Of course not[3:10] But it is suboptimalbeerfinger [3:10 AM] yeah sort of kills the whole decentralization thinglucky [3:10 AM] in fact if we are going the whole hog and saying fiat collapsed. You'd be silly to think the banks would standby and let crypto take over without thembeerfinger [3:10 AM] now we're relying on banks againlucky [3:11 AM] At the first sign of crypto succeeding fiat. Banks will take over[3:11] Because they can trade their fiat to coin[3:11] Government tooaegisker [3:12 AM] Well, banks issues debt, whole market is built around debt. Crypto would take that away[3:12] This will be hardest transitionjamesl22 [3:12 AM] If the crypto market ever gets to say $1tril, the banks will use their lobbyist army to squash it as best they canlucky [3:13 AM] Is it not possible crypto gets immediately regulated into the banking system as soon as it passed fiat in some wayjamesl22 [3:13 AM] They don't care right now because the space is tiny compared to their own equitylucky [3:13 AM] Yes exactly Jamesbeerfinger [3:13 AM] i like the idea of leveraging NFC tech as a way to introduce crypto to POS purchases... everyone already has a smart phone so no need to reinvent the wheel... it's basically just an applucky [3:13 AM] If finance is going to change politics needs to too[3:14] Nfc seems like the way. Yeag[3:14] Lots of the android wallets leverage itaegisker [3:14 AM] No need for nfc, nfc was kinda overhyped. Qr codes can work equally goodjamesl22 [3:14 AM] @beerfinger I think LN will allow us to achieve thatlucky [3:14 AM] Lol qr[3:14] Who has ever scanned a qr....jamesl22 [3:14 AM] We just need a hardware implementation for the readerbeerfinger [3:14 AM] sorry james, what's LN?lucky [3:14 AM] Apple made sure qr never workedjamesl22 [3:14 AM] Lightning Networkbeerfinger [3:14 AM] ahaegisker [3:15 AM] If u use your phone, why complicate with nfc, is there a security benefit?beerfinger [3:15 AM] the infrastructure is there... most readers i come across these days are already NFC compliantjamesl22 [3:15 AM] QR can work, but requires a high res display in the POS device[3:15] Which would increase costs[3:15] NFC is cheap aflucky [3:16 AM] Yep. Qr is extremely requirement heavyaegisker [3:16 AM] For example, pub: you get check with qr. U pay with your phone. Waiter sees on his computer that its payed.lucky [3:16 AM] Look at Asia and south America[3:16] Nobody can read qraegisker [3:17 AM] I europe all checks already have qrs for tax checkinglucky [3:17 AM] I work in global marketing. Qr is completely unadopted in the real world[3:17] Yes in no public scenario qr is usedaegisker [3:17 AM] Where you from?lucky [3:17 AM] Uk[3:19] A decade in marketing I can tell you for sure Joe public doesn't scan qr codes[3:19] James is right. We need an alternative hardware solution[3:19] And I think I unique piece of tech in public would drive massive interestaegisker [3:20 AM] In slovenia, croatia, austria(i tjink) there is law that all transactions in coffeeshops or shops(everything with fiat transaction) is sent to tax authority as soon as check is printed. U get qr code on your check, so you can check if tax s paid for your service. This is to prevent black markets and unauthorized sellers. Works pretty well. If you frequently scan qrs you can get some bonuses..[3:21] Public got used to this pretty fast.lucky [3:21 AM] So there's an incentiveaegisker [3:21 AM] So also you could print qr shop wallet addr.lucky [3:21 AM] Kind of skews the ease of adoption stat we are looking foraegisker [3:22 AM] Costz nothinglucky [3:22 AM] Costs a smartphone with a quick camera[3:22] How about in a dark clubbeerfinger [3:23 AM] I came tonight with many questions about Vertcoin. Namely the incentives of the Devs and how it differentiated itself in the marketplace. All of those questions have been answered as best as I could have hoped. The only thing left is figuring out a way to tell that story. @jamesl22, all of the things you've said tonight are reassuring and exciting. They provide great promise for the future of this coin and even more - your goals, if realized, are truly category shifting. This is such a compelling story. TELL IT!lucky [3:23 AM] Asking every transaction to require an in focus photo capability is insane, imoaegisker [3:23 AM] uploaded and commented on this image: IMG_20170908_092307.jpg 1 Comment Thats how it lookslucky [3:23 AM] We need something similar to a contactless debit card[3:24] Good luck scanning that in the dark with a £100 smartphone. Though.aegisker [3:24 AM] For starters this is easiest solution for early adoption (edited)workstation [3:25 AM] why not something short like vCoin. Then u could make it go off V=Vendetta, sort of has a nice mystery, anti establishmentaegisker [3:25 AM] You just need plugin for your pos software that checks your crypto wallet for received funds[3:26] Imo this is easiest way to implement first public purchases of beer or coffeebeerfinger [3:26 AM] by the way, less is more when it comes to branding[3:26] look at apple[3:26] i love this example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUXnJraKM3k YouTube Brant Walsh Microsoft Re-Designs the iPod Packaging[3:31] and there's always something to be said for ad wars... apple's david vs goliath attack ads vs microsoft is what put them back on the map[3:31] that could be a great angle for Vertcoin... go after Bitcoin[3:31] make fun of it the way Jobs poked at Gates[3:32] that's just my 2 Vertcoins via /r/vertcoin