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#i feel like it's just not emphasized enough how much of a risk it is that everyone involved in treating & studying covid
starry-bi-sky · 4 months
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tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid
okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.
Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.
It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.
(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)
There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.
It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.
Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.
Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.
He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.
At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.
This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.
Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.
Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.
Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.
("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)
Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.
Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.
Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.
Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.
Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".
(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)
Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.
He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.
Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.
Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.
At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.
He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.
Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."
And there it is. There's his out.
Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."
The ball starts rolling.
Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.
He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.
It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.
Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.
He breaks the lock by hand.
Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.
The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.
And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.
I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"
I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.
Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.
But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.
Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.
Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.
Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.
Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.
And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.
#dpxdc#dp x dc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#tales of the passerine au#i dont want to overemphasize how much vlad sucks but also i dont want to downplay it. but also i didn't wanna make this post too long#i didn't emphasize enough on vlad's possessiveness but i wanted to make this post as general enough as possible for the au.#for some more wiggle room in the future if i make more posts about this au.#the consequences for Danny repressing himself was not a concern i was focused on for the post but i am thinking about it and mulling it ove#i'll be blunt my main specific reason for why this occurs shortly after tue is bc it means dani doesn't exist yet and it means i dont have#to include her in the continuation of this au. i love that girl but she's a dead weight. i dont wanna come up with an elaborate reason as#to why she's not in the picture when i can just say 'she never created in the first place' instead. i don't have anything for her to do#I don't want to risk giving her a poor plot line just so that she exists in au.#sometimes i really hate just how long my posts get. i feel like it kills my engagement. but i also don't want to make posts that have#a part 1 and part 2 just because I think it got too long.#i feel kinda bad for having Danny take the spot of 'first partner' from Dick. But that was part of the reason i was inspired to make this a#i've already got the skeleton of a reasoning for danny becoming a vigilante being made in my head.#He can't go by Phantom since that risks drawing Vlad's attention -- a new vigilante showing up in Gotham. a place the visited frequently#who goes by the name Phantom? He'd be on that faster than chickens on meat. and nightingale has familial meaning behind it due to being#part of an ancestral name. it follows robin's theme of using it to honor his parents while still having its own unique enough lore to stand#on its own without feeling like a cheap copy. plus the bonus meta reason that it follows the bird theme. which personally is vital to me#my other alternative to Nightingale is Sparrow. mostly because it has good phonetic structure for a hero name. not too many syllables#a good balance of consonants and vowels. dont want a hero name with too many syllables or unbalanced consonants. or worse; both.#my reasonings is that hero names should be easy for a civ or teammate to yell while still being understood. max amount of syllables before#it threatens to become too wordy is 3. If it goes over 3 it should have a balanced consonant-vowel ratio. Wonder Woman is a good example#some things got cut here that were in the initial oneshot. like danny giving bruce his physical ghost core and showing up bloody.#the first son au
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sesamenom-misc · 30 days
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brief survey
*common symptoms include:
physiological - lingering chest pain, shortness of breath, lingering cough, heart palpitations, abnormal heart rate
neurological - brain fog, general cognitive decline, fatigue, language/word retrieval issues, short term and long term memory issues, abnormal executive dysfunction, difficulty concentrating, exacerbation of pre-existing depression or anxiety
**if you first contracted covid before vaccines were available, you can count it as unvaccinated
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jegheterkerry · 7 months
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i went to the dentist back in october, for my semiannual cleaning. everything was fine, but they always ask if there's anything bothering me. i mentioned some sensitivity bordering on pain between my last two teeth on the right side when i floss. "like i can feel the thread touching a nerve, or something sensitive in the tooth, when i pull it back up." they had me open up and look around, tapping the tooth. it didn't hurt during any of that, or during anything else, like when i ate or drank, or touched it with my tongue.
she concluded that i was traumatizing my gums. i was flossing too hard back there. my pain was self-inflicted. i just had to be more gentle, kinder to my teeth and gums, my self.
so now i think about that every time i floss. i use a little less force now, and i do feel less sensitive. but mostly i just think about how much of my pain is my own fault.
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alastorss · 7 months
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Could you maybe write something with Alastor and reader,
and reader gets hurt in the extermination and he cares for her? And maybe like she takes a nap on his lap and he just sorta falls asleep right next to her?
a/n: hello!! i sort of got carried away with this one and made it more sappy than i originally intended, but i hope you still like it! for context: the reader stepped into battle when alastor was hurt by adam and this is the aftermath :) hurt/comfort and fluff!
⋆。゚☁︎。⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。⋆
Alastor has been eerily quiet since returning to the newly-rebuilt hotel, sutures and bandages in hand.
All his belongings, including his beloved cane, have been cast aside in lieu of medical supplies to be split between you. One measly box worth of gauze and sanitizing wipes. Definitely nothing to gawk at, but good enough.
He's stripped his shirt without any exchange of words. You know his silent request, too prideful to ask for your help verbally but desperation clear in his expression.
"Is this the only spot?" You ask, slowly stringing a suture through his skin. He hisses in pain—his only response. The demon doesn't even gratify you with his eyes anymore, opting to stare off into space as if his mind has taken a vacation elsewhere.
You frown but continue delicately stitching him, piecing him together until he's whole again. His back hits the dresser as he leans on it, body instinctively trying to crawl away from the stinging of the needle. Finally, you knot the end of the sutures and sigh in relief, reaching over to get something to clean the area.
"I'm glad this whole fiasco is over," you comment softly, knowing it won't make him look at you. "With their leader gone, maybe the angels will finally—"
"You disobeyed me," he suddenly snaps. "Why?"
You pause in your movements, blinking up at Alastor while he glowers at you. His eyes narrow into slits, half out of anger and half in a grimace.
"You were cornered. I couldn't just sit by and—"
"I told you to stay out of it," he interrupts again, slapping away your hand. You gasp, alcohol wipe hitting the floor beside you. Defiantly, you challenge him with a glare of your own.
"I'm trying to help, asshole!"
"I know, I know!" He explodes, obviously frustrated. "And look where it got you!"
He pinches your chin to tilt your head up toward him, rotating your face around so he can observe your wounds. A cut lip, a bruising eye—horrible reminders that sinners could be hurt. And you were no more of a sinner than he, much less an Overlord who knew the shape of a soul.
"You risked your life by intervening! What if you had been struck down, you fool?"
Alastor's voice is all panic and no composure, missing any semblance of that accent which is so beloved to him. You know he's telling you exactly what he feels, true emotions unburdened by the character he built for himself in the afterlife.
"So be it! It's no less a fate than what would have happened to you!" You emphasize by jabbing your finger just above his wounded abdomen, careful not to agitate his fresh stitches.
Wincing, he goes silent. It's unnerving how quiet it is again. You've gotten so used to the ambient buzz of his static, but with it missing, you can feel the hairs on the back of your neck pricking up in unease.
He still hasn't released your face, clawed fingers pinching your chin and holding you in place. It isn't until he feels the wetness of your tears pooling at the pads of his fingers that he recoils in surprise.
Sighing, he twists over to open new packs of wipes. You stay still while he carefully cleans your face, ignoring your little whelps of pain the best he can.
Once the blood is gone, he pauses. Then, his fingers gingerly wipe under your eyes, swiping away the globs of tears spilling down your cheeks.
You are pitiful right now, he thinks. Though he probably looks no better.
"I'm sorry," you hiccup. "I don't mean to make you worry."
His expression softens, though his viscous smile remains. You can see it in his eyes—something genuine buried beneath his act.
"I don't want you to die," you admit quietly.
"I wouldn't dream of it, my dear."
You laugh dryly, wiping up your tears on your own with your bloodied sleeves.
"But you almost did. What would I do without you?"
The question is rhetorical, but something vile still swirls violently in your stomach at the idea. As if knowing what's going through your mind, he grabs you by the cheeks and forces you to meet his stare again.
"Not another word out of you," he demands.
His gaze flicks to the bruising under your eye, flesh already discoloured and swelling. "Got a remedy?" You grumble.
Alastor shakes his head but leans in anyway, pressing a chaste kiss just below the swelling. His lips linger on your skin for a moment before he pulls away, amused by your stunned expression.
He invades your space again, this time kissing the crown of your head. Speaking into your hair, he whispers, "I will be more careful. I promise."
"And I'll think before charging into battle after you," you chuckle softly, overwhelmed by his warmth.
Slowly, he tugs you along and sits you on the sofa. He brushes the hair from your eye and takes the opportunity to look at it under better lighting. Just like that, he vanishes, melting into the shadows. When he reappears in front of you, he has cold packs. In a place so warm, they are of little use. But they are better than nothing, he supposes.
Groaning in pain, he seats himself beside you and allows you to slot under his arm. Two demons seeking comfort and companionship curled up together—any other Overlord would laugh.
But Alastor knows what it means to be loved, to have someone who would stand in front of a lethal blow for him, to be stitched back together by your hands.
In the safety of each others' presence, you both fall asleep with the faint hum of static filling the air.
~
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ro5ani · 5 months
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Some thoughts I've been having since round 6 but it's mostly me ranting about Ivan
So first of all, this whole thing where Till goes looking for Mizi's flower crown and they get attacked by the alien, it was all staged by Ivan. He was waiting for Till outside of the entrance and followed him as he went there
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He didn't do anything to help them get away he was just watching how things played out, his goal was to get Till locked up so he could free him when no one was watching and they could escape (it would also show him as a savior thus making Till like him more)
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You can see marks in the wall while he watches, my boy was stressed (maybe even worried that something would go terribly wrong). And before this scene, he is shown hugging the alien and there's an official art of him inside the aliens mouth (not sure what that means maybe that was the way of convincing it, it's known Ivan always does whatever the aliens want so he can use that later to his favor) ANYWAYS there are no scenes where he intervenes, so I'm pretty sure he planned the whole thing.
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WHAT I'M TRYING TO GET AT IS, the meteor shower scene when they escaped.
If Ivan staged the whole thing he must've picked a specific day and time, so them escaping while there was a meteor shower is not a coincidence. Ivan did everything he could to convince Till, in the best way he could come up with.
Just like Till, Ivan suffered a lot of abuse even though it's not shown as much. At the beginning of round 3 we can see an alien threatening to throw him from the top of a building. He was scared and crying yet he saw, what probably was the most beautiful thing in his whole life, a meteor shower.
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There's a lot of focus on Ivan's eyes throughout the series, he's very observant and it's also a way to emphasize how he is always looking at Till. But before he actually met Till, the meteor shower was the thing that caught his attention, and you can tell by the way his eyes fill with meteors when he looks at Till. Till to him is as shiny and sparkling as a meteor shower.
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Ivan might be smart and very observant and mature for his age, but he's still a kid! He not only tried to save Till he also tried to impress him so they could get closer. So what did he do, like a kid showing off his toys to make an impression, he showed Till the most beautiful and impressive thing he knew.
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And Till was impressed! But it was not enough, so it happened what happened.
The point of this whole thing is that I've seen a lot of people say Ivan's only way of catching Till's attention is by bothering/being mean to him, and while he did that a lot, he also risked his life and staged this whole thing so Till could be happy.
And even after that didn't work out, he kept looking out for Till in the only way he knew or was able to.
So my boy Ivan is not just a bully give him some credit😭 He could've been a little more honest but u don't expect the aliens to teach them proper communication.
SO THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO GET OUT OF MY SYSTEM
If u read all of this thank you 😭 and feel free to share thoughts too!
And excuse any weird wording, i literally never write long stuff
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h-sleepingirl · 5 months
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Maybe I don't emphasize this enough but one of the reasons I push constant hypnosis education is because the less you understand about hypnosis, the less capable you are of playing safer. More advanced knowledge = more advanced safety.
This applies to BOTH hypnotists and subjects.
There are certain beginner concepts that I would call "safety dead-ends": "This unwanted response happened because some part of you secretly wanted it." "Suggestions work because hypnosis makes someone suggestible."
Untrue, incomplete understanding limits safety SO MUCH.
"What makes me/my partner actually feel suggested IQ drain?"
It is: motivated by/creating desires, a role-enactment, a creative act, partially unconscious, draws on/creates associations, builds patterns/habits/familiarity, a learning experience, and much more.''
The more you actually understand what is happening in hypnosis -- not treating it like a magical black box -- the more you have control over identifying and mitigating risk, as hypnotist or subject. It is why I often push a non-state model of hypnosis.
This connects to something I was talking about re: suggestions -- simple statements where you are relying on someone just being convinced something might happen are not very helpful/effective.
"You will only respond to this trigger in this scene." Why?? Prove it! Help them!!
Triggers are associative conditioning. How do you ACTUALLY mitigate and replace a conditioned response? What is ACTUALLY happening both from their subjective perspective, and psychologically? What makes them keep responding to it? How could you change those aspects?
Writing about this more in depth for my upcoming "intermediate+ hypnokink" book :)
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rapunzelbro · 3 months
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Hi! Could you write an Angel Dust x Reader (Platonic) oneshot. Where the reader comforts him after his day with Valentino. And in return, he comforts them when their feeling sad
I find comfort in you…Angel x Reader
An: thank you so much for requesting! I hope you enjoy this. I accidentally made it longer haha. Enjoy it! Any feedback’s appreciated.
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If you had a penny for every time you comforted Angel after meeting him, you'd have a room full of pennies, and then some. Angel was super protective of others seeing his true feelings, he didn't want to have to risk the people he cared about getting hurt by being his friend, he didn’t want Valentino to find out by any means. He kept his guard up a lot around you when you first met him. But after time of just talking, he finally slowly started opening up to you, which led to him finding comfort in you.
The first time he came to you, he was a crying mess, you instantly rushed out of your bed wrapping your arms around him, he instantly did the same back. You gently hummed trying to soothe him the best you could. You never seen him like that before. Ever. You guided him to your bed, not letting your hand leave his side, he didn't want to let go quite yet. “Angel… Angel please look at me” you softly spoke, wiping his tears. He looked at you still a mess of emotions “Please just, try to copy my breathing” you said before taking some emphasized breaths, trying to get him to calm down. Thankfully it ended up working, averting his eyes to look at the light blue blanket that rested on your bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?” you start looking at him with concern. Angel sighed, not saying anything for a while, leaving you two in a comfortable silence “It's my boss Val, he is a piece of shit you know?” he finally spoke looking at you, you just nodded letting him continue “He always has me as his little fuckin toy and I can't get out of it if I wanted to” Angel laid back on your bed,groaning as he focused on the ceiling now. “Y/n, do you ever wish you could go back to the past and prevent yourself from doing something stupid?” Angel glanced at you “Believe me Angel, I really wish I could, everyday I do” you muttered laying back too, looking at the ceiling with him, gently squeezing one of his hands “But then we’d never be friends you know?” you smile, earning a chuckle from Angel “You make a good point.. Thank you..” You let out a hum in response just laying there as Angel scrolled on his phone.
This became a common occurrence for you two. He always came to you when he was upset, he felt like he could trust you and you were more than willing to be there for him. While he was open with you, you didn't often show your feelings to him. He had enough issues as it was, you didn't want to add yours to the list, which leads back to when he first comforted you.
Angel arrived back at the hotel late. Putting it simply, he looked like shit, but you’d never say that. Sitting at the bar. You held your head up with one arm that rested on the table of the bar, while the other hand swirled the ice cube that remained in your drink using the tip of your nail. You could hear him walking in, but you didn’t look at him just watching the icecube. “Did he hurt you again?” you mutter, loud enough for him to hear, you sounded tired.
Angel walked over to you, obviously put off by how blunt of a statement you made “Straight to the point toots?” he sighed before going around the bar and grabbing a whole bottle of vodka, sitting next to you. “Yes, but nothing I couldn’t handle, ya know? Hey wait, are you okay?” Angel paused trying to look at your face, noticing you haven’t looked at him since he walked in. “Angel don't worry I’m fine” you looked up from the glass, removing your nail from the glass, drying it with your shirt. “Cut the shit Y/n, what happened?” Angel looked concerned, noticing your usual makeup was smeared, like you were crying.
You stood up wanting to walk away from this conversation but Angel grabbed your hand before you could leave “Oh no you dont, you deal with my shit, I deal with yours too. What happened?” His voice was full of concern as he felt your hand start shaking, that's when he pulled you into a hug, you not returning it for a while, until you started to sob holding onto him like you'd lose him if you didn’t. He picked you up with one of his many hands, taking you both back to his room, before putting you on his bed, grabbing a box of tissues for you.
He’d never seen you like this, you never seemed upset around him, or anyone in the hotel. I'm sure the only other person who would've gotten any light clue of the feelings you hid would be Husk, being the way he is. Angel comforted you the best he could, he honestly didn’t know how to be of much help except by keeping too close to him, waiting until you were ready to speak. “I just, I feel so lonely okay?” you finally spoke hiccuping as you tried controlling your sobs
“I know that.. Everyone at this hotel cares in their own way, and I know you do, but I cant help but feel like everything I had while I was alive is just, all I ever had'' you stared down at your shaking hands, Angel taking one of your hands just listening to you “I don’t regret anything I’ve done, but what if what I did was all for nothing?” you muttered looking at Angel “I feel like that too darlin.. All you really can do is focus on the future.” He started “Look I’m.. not the best when it comes to comforting someone, but if anyone has changed things around here for the better it’s you” he smiled slightly at you. “And so what if you didn’t do enough while you were alive? You have another shot here, and that’s enough ya know?” Looking at Angel you gave a faint smile looking at your friend “I think you’re doing great Y/n” he finished before you gave him a hug, which he returned
Angel would check on you often after this, and you would continue to check on him. Sure you both ended up in hell, but you're glad you were in hell with him. And he was glad you ended up with him too.
Angel dust Taglist @vendetta-ari @brithedemonspawn @satansmanager @storydays @saturnhas82moons @zamadness @fizziepopangel @saitisfied @the--rebel--fae @mcueveryday @rainbowbunny15 @molaroo @bonkbonkbobk
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 4 months
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just wanted to say your posts about sex ed are super cool and epic and swag. i was informed recently that i was supposed to get sex ed sometime in the 3 years i was going to catholic school (basically my middle school years) and i was not supposed to have to learn everything from fanfiction/The Internet(TM). And they maybe shouldn't have taped closed the sex ed sections of the family life textbook. Catholic school was wild.
anyway wanted to ask how does one go about explaining kink to teens? education around kink seems like one of those things that are especially denied to young folks, and there's so much stigma around it, and it doesn't seem like there are many (if any) resources out there that keep teens in mind (which makes sense but its also infuriating! there are kids out there who feel deeply ashamed for this kind of thing!! or are practicing unsafely!!!)
hi anon,
with teens who are old enough to be kink aware and kink curious, I think the big thing is emphasizing that while there's nothing wrong with being interested in kink at a young age it is very possible that folks who are inexperienced are going to make mistakes that can be really scary and dangerous for themselves and/or their partners, a la the "choking epidemic" described by Evie Lupine here.
youtube
it's also worth noting that kink is historically something that's largely been taught and mediated through communities of kinky people, which are understandably not spaces that teens are welcomed into for the safety of everyone involved. obviously there's no stopping The Youth from getting up to whatever they want to get up to, but I think it's really important to emphasize that virtually any sexual behavior entails risk, it's going to be much safer to avoid playing with things like rope, needles and/or blood, breath, and consensual nonconsent (to name JUST A FEW!) until they're old enough to be part of spaces where people with experience can teach them how to play safely.
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throneofsapphics · 26 days
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old faces, part 11
Rowaelin x f!Reader
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Summary: you and Rowan meet again after seven years, and deal with the fall-out of a secret. 
Warnings: mentions of violence
Word Count: 3159
A/N: I know it's been 6 months, but I'm just getting back to a place where I'm able to write this story! I'm sorry this took so long <3 thank you to @whisperingmidnights for your help with this part
series masterlist
“Your plan is to piss them off?” Fenrys looked at you like he prayed you were joking. 
“It’s not my whole plan.” 
“But it’s part of it?” 
“Figure out how desperate they are, and I can get a good gauge on how dangerous or useful the object is.” 
“Don’t underestimate their intelligence,” Fenrys cautioned. 
Rowan wanted to snarl at the male, he might as well have agreed this was the best plan. It was a good plan, he could admit that, there was only one pitfall - a very big one. It puts you in harm's way. No, it makes you even more of a target than you already are.
“What if it backfires?” Aelin asked, and Rowan both admired and was incensed by how calm she seemed. “What if others become suspicious, start asking around, and end up wanting the same thing they do?” 
“There’s always a risk,” you chewed on your bottom lip. He was about to open his mouth, to say ‘exactly’ or, ‘it’s too great of a risk,’ when you turned your gaze on Fenrys, then Aelin, then him. 
“From a strategic standpoint … if it weren’t me -” 
“It is you,” Aelin interrupted, but you continued as if she hadn’t said a word. 
“What would you say? What if the potential knowledge we’d gain is of great risk to Terrasen? Aren’t we better off knowing?” 
“It’s not much of a question if you put it like that,” Fenrys muttered. He didn’t look particularly happy about it, but Rowan knew he agreed. 
He turned to Aelin. ‘What do you think?’ his eyes asked.
“She’s right.”
Gods. He knew he would, if it wasn’t you, if it was nearly anyone else he’d task them with figuring it out. 
“We know a few Akkadian males are searching for some kind of artifact or weapon,” Fenrys started, ticking things off on his fingers, “and that it’s possible they are working independently, that they want to keep this secret. We know they have … dangerous knowledge of your past, and they’re connected with some kind of underworld.” 
There’s no real other way they’d know Andal - a male he’d like to kill one day, if only for the fear and pain in your eyes when his name was said. 
Aelin pinched the bridge of her nose. “We see if it draws some kind of reaction, see if anyone else is surprised, if he’s really acting personally or if he’s a scapegoat.” 
He prepared himself to protest, but your past words ‘don’t coddle me,’ echoed in his mind. With your characteristic stubborn tenacity, you’d already set your mind to this. At least you were letting him help, at least he could do something to help keep you safe. Rowan latched onto that mentally, onto the small consolation he got. 
“We need to ensure your safety,”  he emphasized, sending you a challenging look. Rowan knew this wouldn't be as desired if they didn’t all go in on it together. Sure, you could do something similar on your own, but he knew you well enough to tell when you didn’t quite want to. When you wanted help, even if your stubborn pride kept you from agreeing to or asking for it. “You won’t -,” Rowan paused and correctly himself, “don’t need to do this alone. Anymore.” 
You agreed, and the planning began. 
-
After two long hours of hashing out every detail, reviewing and reciting them until Rowan was satisfied, Fenrys and Aelin looked ready to explode. You found some comfort in it, but even you were tiring. 
When Rowan and Aelin locked in on one of their silent conversations, you turned to Fenrys, angled so they couldn’t see your face, and mouthed “leave.” 
He winked, and made a poor excuse for a departure, but they didn’t seem to care. 
There was an impending sense of doom, perhaps your mind playing tricks on you, but you couldn’t help feeling like something - maybe everything - would go wrong, no matter how much planning you put into it. 
The Queen and King stood as well, murmuring ‘goodnights,’ before you could say anything. Fuck. 
Your ill-thought out plan had not included that. 
Aelin stopped at the door, hand on the brass knob, Rowan a few steps outside, paused as well. Golden hair fell like a curtain over her shoulder, her head turning  as you slowly stood, teeth digging into your bottom lip. 
Time slowed, her eyes tracked the movement, darkening when they reached your mouth, teeth digging into soft flesh, perhaps imagining them digging in somewhere else. You certainly where. Step by step, you crossed the room towards her. Your footsteps sounded obnoxiously loud, thundering almost as loud as your heart. She turned fully to face you, hand letting go of the door. 
Less than a foot away, you stopped. Eyes glimmering, she tilted her head - daring you. 
This time, you didn’t back down. Hands reached, cupping her palms - still she waited. You could see how the patience cost her, a small curve of your lips and she nearly snarled, but you cut off the words forming, pushing forward to close the gap. 
Soft lips, slow movements, hands wandering, grazing over shoulder, down sides, settling on hips - moving all over as if you couldn’t wait to memorize. 
A low whistle from the hallway - who, you didn’t care, but heard Rowan’s snarl as a response. Aelin’s arm wound around your waist, drawing you closer, shifting your attention back to her. 
You felt Ceri’s magic, likely just down the hall, and stumbled back. 
Hurt flashed over Aelin’s face, through her eyes, mouth parting in dismay. 
“Ceri,” you hissed, “and company,” you added as an afterthought.
The hurt faded, replaced by a smile and a knowing nod as she stepped out of the doorway. 
“Tomorrow,” she said, the word a promise and a plea. You nodded, but couldn’t shake the sense that tomorrow might not come. You cursed yourself for thinking so negatively, for winding yourself up into a state of gloom. Things would work. They had too. There was too much at stake, and too much to lose. 
Four sets of shuffling footsteps - Ceri accompanied by the little … gang, to say the least. The three E’s, Edde, Edie and Elias.
Ceri burst through the door, her friends trailing more cautiously behind her. 
“They can spend the night, right?” 
“I don’t think that’s how you ask a question,” Rowan said dryly. 
You fixed her with a sharp look before she could roll her eyes. 
“We- we can go,” Elias said, voice barely carrying. He’d always been the most cautious of the three 
You opened your mouth, already ready to agree, seeing the sharp look Rowan fixed her with out of your peripheral, but Ceri cut in first - 
“Please, can we spend the night here?”
“Yes,” you laughed and waved them back towards their rooms, shooting a kind smile towards her three friends. In all honesty, you were surprised she asked, but figured she only did it because Rowan and Aelin were also present. 
-
“You might as well adopt the three of them,” Aelin commented. She’d meant it half as a joke, but saw how your eyes brightened. 
“Maybe when this is all over.” There was a distant look in your eyes, accompanied by the slightest upward tilt of your lips. Not the distant gaze of someone in pain, but someone thinking forward, thinking of the future. 
‘Maybe’ might as well be a yes, considering your expression - and if the three of them agreed, of course, but she couldn’t see them declining it.
Aelin didn’t know how anyone could turn you down, not with your pretty eyes or -
Rowan coughed next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Not pleased with looking away from you, she managed to turn her attention to him. 
“Going to stare all night?” He asked silently. 
Aelin didn’t dignify that with a response, instead let her eyes flash briefly to your lips, before murmuring goodnight’s to all of the room’s occupants, noticing the flush on your cheeks as you tracked her gaze. 
Aelin was out the door as Rowan gave his own goodnight’s, and she already knew that once they were back in their rooms he’d gripe that she happened to be the one closer to you. 
Two fingers touched her lips, her back pressed against the stone, mind wandering - wondering when she’d get to kiss you again -
You appeared in the open doorway, eyes wide with panic, head snapping back and forth - had your magic told you something? 
Aelin realized she trusted you implicitly as you tugged her back inside, slamming the door behind her. 
“Aelin and Rowan decided to stay a little longer,” you yelled - a course of acknowledgements coming from further down the hall, already in one of the rooms. 
“He’s - they’re both down a hall or so,” you were blinking rapidly, your breaths obviously intentional. And you didn’t need to clarify who ‘he’ was. For your sake, Aelin forced a tight, tight lid on her anger - and saw Rowan do the same. 
She felt Rowan’s wind sweep past her - buffering against your shield, she felt it as a small crack opened for him - letting his wind slide into the hallway, likely clearing all traces of their scents, along with Ceri and her little gang’s away. When had she become so attuned to your magic?
She heard him as he crossed closer - pausing a few feet away from the door - before continuing on, making it to the end of the hall before he backtracked. 
“I redirected our scents, not erased them,” Rowan murmured quietly - although your magic would block any noise from escaping.
“So he knows where,” you said aloud, arms wrapping around yourself. 
Rowan moved quicker than she could, his arms laid gently over your shoulders, almost hesitantly. When you didn’t flinch, when you leaned into him instead, he tugged you closer, brought your chest to rest against his, other arm wrapping around, fingers running through your hair. 
Aelin saw when you let your beautiful mind stop running, your face tilting, cheek pressed against him, arms coming around his waist. The moment when you relaxed, and let Rowan give you comfort like a lover would. 
-
Another familiar, but friendly scent tricked through the door. Fenrys. He was both grateful and annoyed with his timing. 
“You can let him in,” you sighed. Rowan tightened his arms around you, afraid the moment might leave before he truly got the chance to enjoy it. “And you can let me go,” you whispered. Aelin was by the door now, her hand perched right above the knob. 
“I’d rather not,” he muttered, but stepped back anyway. 
Maybe the day had been too long, and likely he was reading into things but he saw a flash of disappointment on your face. 
Regardless, he’d stepped back just in time - the door swung open, revealing Fenrys - looking unusually grave. 
“I didn’t interact,” his tone indicated he would’ve liked to, very much so, and the words proved Rowan’s inkling from earlier - the wolf hadn’t gone far at all, and having known the male for decades, he wouldn’t for the rest of the night. 
-
Laying back in bed, staring at a ceiling he’d memorized hours ago, Rowan rifled through his memories. 
Maeve had a vague interest in acquiring the types of objects made by your family, but the makers were, as far as she knew, always in Antica. Unattainable. To Maeve, the individual objects wouldn’t have been worth hunting down, not when she could acquire a source. He wondered if one day, if Aelin hadn’t come in and drastically changed his - all of their lives, he or one of the others would’ve received an order to find you or a member of your family. 
Somehow, thankfully, she had no idea your mother made her way into Wendlyn. He figured yours or her magic must’ve kept you hidden, that made him wonder how they’d found you.
It was obvious, he realized with the barest tinge of guilt. Your position in Aelin’s court would undeniably bring attention to you. Expose your abilities and bloodline in a way you’d avoided for so long. That brought the question of why you had accepted, considering it’s you, you knew the risks - hence why he felt the barest tinge of guilt. Maybe, after so long, you were sick of hiding. It wasn’t any use debating, rash decisions were uncommon for you, and rarely did you tell him exactly why you made the choices you did. A bit like Aelin, but not in a good way, but unlike Aelin if he asked you he’d usually get a straight answer. Usually. 
Nothing from his past campaigns with the Akkadians, past experience with the two Fae currently stirring too much trouble, gave guidance on how tomorrow could play out. 
The plan. One he’d made them go over countless times until everyone in the room looked like they wanted to kill him, that’s when he knew to call it quits, if you stuck to it then maybe things would work out. Too big of a maybe for him, but there was no other choice at this point. 
“Try to sleep,” Aelin murmured sleepily, he heard sheets rustling and felt her head rest on his chest, hand sliding over his stomach to rest just below his ribs. 
“We’ll see,” he kept his voice low, and traced circles into her back, the bare skin warm and smooth under his calloused fingers. Her breaths were even, and she’d already fallen back asleep. 
Rowan closed his eyes, and figured he could at least try and follow his Queen’s suggestion. 
-
Fenrys tried for his usual jovial manner in the morning, but it was obvious he was on edge over breakfast. You waited to call him out until after Ceri and her friends had left, accompanied by guards.
“At least pretend everything is normal,” you pushed your food around on your plate, “or you’ll tip them off and ruin our big plan.” 
The second half was laced with some sarcasm, in hopes to placate both you and him. He snorted, but none of the tension left his body, if anything it seemed to increase. That was a failure. Hopefully the rest of the plan would work out - even with the sense of doom still hovering over you like a storm cloud.
Finally letting the spoon clatter to the plate, your hand went up to trace your scar, thumb running over the still raised skin. It shot back down as you saw Fenrys tracking the movement. Most days, you hardly noticed it, but the habit reemerged once in a while. 
You glanced at the clock. Another part of the plan. Maybe you should’ve come up with a more interesting name for it. You brought it up to Fenrys. 
He let out an edged chuckle, “operation don’t cause another international incident?”
“Technically,” you tapped one finger against the table. “They started the incident.”
The statement did feel a tad childish, but in a good way, a way that lightened some of the invisible pressure pushing your shoulders down. 
“So you admit there already is one,” some of the tension had actually left his shoulder and a small sense of accomplishment filled you, but you just shrugged. 
“Operation mitigating international incident.” 
“OMII isn’t a worthy enough acronym.” 
Fenrys’s eyes lit up at the last word. Acronym. 
After taking the time to come up with your name, the two of you were nearly late - having to cut through a secret passage to make it on time. 
O.S.H.I.T. 
Successfully hinder international tactless-assholes. Hyphenated because according to the two of you, “O.S.H.I.T.A” doesn’t have the same ring. You’d also agreed to only inform their Majesties of the moniker if the plan was successful. 
“Why do I feel like you two were up to no good?” Aelin leaned over, no more than a queen consulting one of her advisors, whispering to you. 
“We would never intend to cause trouble, your majesty.” 
A very un-royal like curse came from her lips, thankfully just loud enough for you to hear, and you fought back a smile. Fenrys winked at you from across the room. 
-
Sun warmed your skin, the temperature absolutely perfect for an early summer mid-morning. They’d requested you stay in the castle until all parties had departed. But, there was no reason you couldn’t wander around some of the gardens. Fresh air was good for you, and you felt like you’d spent far too much time in a stuffy castle recently. You ached to get back to your home, considering everything went fine, hopefully that would be sooner rather than later. Not that you need permission, you reminded yourself. 
You had to fight to keep a big grin off your face. All of the worrying, all of the stress and pressure felt worth it now that you were on the other side. 
Yes, their eyes had flashed with anger when you ‘responded to the inquiries,’ publicly and slid them a handful of notes, drawing curious eyes from their companions. It had been a relatively simple plan, but you’d spent hours rehearsing answers to every feasible and not-so-feasible reaction, making it feel much more complex than it should’ve. But they’d departed that same night, and with them left a weight off your chest. 
At least, that’s what you thought before the cool flat side of a blade pressed against your neck, angled so the slightest wrong movement would have you bleeding out on the floor - dead within a minute, something clamped around your wrist - iron, and your magic winked, reduced down to a mere puddle. Some, but not nearly enough to get you out of this. 
“Don’t move,” a voice snarled in your ear, breath warming your neck. You didn’t dare swallow, didn’t dare attempt to form any words. It wasn’t them. Not the two Akkadian’s who’d been haunting you for the last week. Who had they sent? How many others were involved?
Despite your efforts to clear your mind and focus on the current … situation, names kept whirling in your head, making it near impossible. 
Ceri. Rowan. Aelin. Fenrys. Edde, Edie, and Elias. Reya. Ani. Ines. 
‘Safe,’ a familiar and wise female voice murmured in your ear, ‘they are all safe.’  Your chest loosened a fraction. Your mind reeled through every defensive maneuver you knew, and none of them would guarantee to get you out of this alive.
You froze as his hand slid around your front, you couldn’t glance down to see, did you want to see? But … just the briefest pressure of something sliding into your pocket, a crinkle of paper. Why would they slip you a note? The thought fled from your mind with his next words. “Listen carefully,” he hissed, “to what happens next - your life depends on it.” 
Why now, you thought, why when I have so much to live for?
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"Let's find out together, then"
Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs
Pairing: Chuuya X Fem!Reader
Request: "Chuuya finding his s/OC’s sex toy(s)? 👁-👁" ◜By lovely anon!!◞
Genre: Smut
Format: Headcanons + Scenario
Warnings: Bondage, Handcuffs, NSFW content MDNI
Word Count: 0.7K
A/n: Hehe~~
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§ Chuuya... He is always respectful toward your privacy. Never pokes his nose in your business unless he senses that you need protection, so the only way for him to find your toys is you asking him to go through your things.
§ Let's go with this scenario. You're at work and you need something, so you ask Chuuya to go to your house and bring it to you, completely forgetting about the risk of him finding that exclusive collection of yours; and Chuuya, being the perfect boyfriend he is, decides to help his pretty, kinky girlfriend out.
§ Chuuya searches everywhere, but won't find the thing you wanted. Not wanting to miss a spot, he also takes a look at the under of your bed. There isn't that thing he was looking for, but a medium sized red box. A box that has a block ribbon on top of it, tempting Chuuya to go against his morals and take a look at your personal belongings... And boy was that a fine decision.
§ He finally brings you what you want but the look on his face? It's... different. Weird. Smug. Dangerous. Exciting. And that can be said for his words.
"Come home soon tonight. We need to... talk"
§ He doesn't really mean it tho. You won't be talking much. If degradation and loud moans doesn't count hehe~ But that sentence is scary as we're all aware of, so you're kinda anxious until you finally get home. When you go inside the bedroom where he's waiting for you, the smile he's wearing half assures you, until you lay eyes on a particular box of course. A familiar, bloody box.
§ Well, FUCK.
§ "Ah... that's... that's not mine..."
§ Chuuya shakes his head and raises one of his eyebrows (which makes him look a 1000 times sexier), his grin not leaving his face, but getting even bigger.
"Is that so?" "Yeah! I- I don't even know how they work!?"
§ That's when he slowly starts taking his gloves off while his gaze is piercing through your fucking heart, pulling the black ribbon to unravel the box with his bare hands.
§ "If that's the case... Let's find out together then, hmm?"
§ It's... gonna be a long night. Also good luck :>
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You gasp as you feel the vibrator on your clit again, struggling to escape from the touch but Chuuya's grasp on you is tight, as if the handcuffs imprisoning your hands weren't enough. You can't see him- the fucking blindfold is getting in the way, but his hot breath burning you neck is emphasizing his presence, and that he's still not willing to stop.
"You've got quite the collection here, Sweetheart. I wonder why you never brought them up though"
His tongue wanders on your skin, licking the shell of your ear as he pushes the toy inside you, delighted by how you squirm on his lap, but never actually try to scape. He knows you can feel his hardened cock tangled in his pants, and he likes it that even though you're already fucked up, you try to rub yourself against his erection; but that has to wait for now. It's still the beginning of the night and there are many more toys in the box waiting to get their turn of exploring through your wet, gummy walls.
Chuuya bites your neck softly, on that particular spot he knows will make your mind go numb, and lightly spanks your ass. He's not angry but you should be more honest with him, and he hopes you'll be after tonight.
"You're so dirty, Baby girl. Not that I will mind though, not at all. I'm just impressed of how hard you were trying to hide these. You thought I would find it quirky, didn't you? I thought that we trusted each other enough to open up... But it's ok, people make mistakes; yet you can't run away from your punishment. So stop shaking around so much Gorgeous; hang in there a little bit and then maybe I'll give you the real thing afterwards. How's the sound of that?"
That... is definitely something worth waiting, and you do have all night, don't you?
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All rights reserved © 2022 AshTheMadWriter. Please do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works on any platform.
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cripplecharacters · 29 days
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I'm writing a protagonist or deuteragonist for an original work. She has symbrachydachtyly and anophthalmia on her right side (from her perspective). I have a few questions: 1) How often do people with one eye wear eyepatches, use prosthetic eyes, or use nothing? 2) What kind of clothes would she be able to put on by herself? 3) If she starts off as a jerk but becomes kinder over time, does this still count as treating people with limb differences and facial differences as "evil?"
Hello!
You mentioned her anophthalmia so my response to your first question will be with this in mind. Please note that it will differ for somebody who has had their eye removed later in life or otherwise only has one eye.
She would need to wear a conformer (Not exactly like a prosthetic eye but similar in a way, it keeps the shape of the eye socket) at first so that her eye socket, face, and skull in general can develop and grow properly. Later on, she'd likely move to a prosthetic.
A common misconception is that wearing a prosthetic eye is just an aesthetic choice. In actuality, it's for much more than that. Prosthetic eyes:
Help to prevent the eyelid/eye socket from drooping or otherwise losing its form.
Prevent tissue growth into the eye socket.
Help to prevent infections/injuries to the eye socket.
Can be more comfortable. Some people are more sensitive to the feeling of their empty eye socket than others and can develop headaches as a result.
Although some people choose to wear an eyepatch full time -- usually because of personal preference such as fashion sense, prosthetic eyes are generally the more popular choice. That isn't to say your character can't wear an eyepatch instead, just be aware that it's less common.
Wearing nothing, however, would come with a whole host of risks. It would be making the eye socket vulnerable to infection/injury and can also cause the eyelid/eye socket to lose its form if done for long enough. Unfortunately, it can also cause people to be uncomfortable or stare and just generally draws a lot of attention. Not everyone is bothered by this, but it is something to keep in mind.
Mod Sasza has some information for your second and third questions below!
Cheers,
~ Mod Icarus
Hi!
Symbrachydactyly is a spectrum, so it probably depends on if she has fingers. However, she would most probably be able to put on majority of clothes, with the exceptions being buttoned things, tying shoes, jewelry, possibly belt buckles and such. But generally a lot of these things can be adapted with rather low tech solutions.
To answer the third question, I'd probably need more info to tell you with more confidence, but as a general checklist:
Is she like that because of her anophthalmia/symbrachydactyly?
Is her disability emphasized/mentioned more when she sucks and less when she's nice later?
Are there other characters with facial differences who aren't jerks? Anophthalmia can be genetic, maybe she has a family member who's kind since the start?
Are there other characters with limb differences who aren't jerks?
What kind of jerk? Characters with facial differences fit in some very specific character tropes. A pretty popular mean girl who talks shit about others doesn't have the same weight as a physically violent, scary bully.
I hope this helps! mod Sasza
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yumeka-sxf · 8 months
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A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Part 24
*This is part of an ongoing post series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*
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When Twilight finds out that there's a bomb on the ship, he's at first torn about whether to intervene or not. This is an interesting situation for him because it's not a mission he was assigned to do, and intervening could run the risk of revealing himself to the SSS. But at the same time, not intervening and relying on the SSS being capable enough to take care of it, is risky, too.
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If Twilight was the selfish, unfeeling spy he makes himself out to be, he would figure out a way to escape the ship with just himself, Yor, and Anya (of course he'd insist he's only taking them with him "for the mission"). He'd probably use one of the lifeboats like the eavesdropping assassin used, perhaps even contact WISE beforehand so they could pick him up. But we know that he's way too conscientious to let such a catastrophic event take place when he could have used his skills to prevent it. So, like his wife elsewhere on the ship, he makes the unselfish decision to help others even if it's a risk to himself. 
Later, Twilight has some final bouts of second-guessing regarding his decision when he picks up Anya at the daycare that night.
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Rather than be proud of himself or even relieved that he was able to stop a potential crisis, he instead feels regret that he had to once again abandon his family…but his family is also part of his mission…so by averting the crisis, he saved them? But taking a vacation was also his mission, so does that mean his mission is to…not have a mission? Even I had trouble making sense of his thoughts here, but it's clear that the poor man still has a long way to go before he's not so unnaturally hung up about "missions." Rebecca Silverman on ANN neatly wraps up Twilight's cruise arc character development in an article here, to quote:
"…He wants to make sure the ship doesn't go down, but he also doesn't want to just abandon his child so he can go save it, and that's a distinction that hasn't been as clear in his mind before now. His little meltdown at the end is him fighting against the realization that this family isn't just a “mission” to him anymore; he's now a dad. This is beautifully shown when he catches Anya when she rolls off her bunk; not only is he attuned to her movements, but he cradles her for a moment instead of putting her down immediately. The smile on his face says that he cares, even if he's not comfortable with the idea."
Speaking of the aforementioned scene of Twilight catching Anya when she fell off the bunk bed, the anime adds this new footage of the early morning before the ship arrives at the resort island. Considering Twilight's doubts the night before, we see one of his rare, not-forced smiles, as he interacts with Anya.
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Meanwhile, Yor is alone in her room treating her injuries. We know that she didn't sleep at all the night before since she was keeping watch over Olka's group the whole time. She then spent most of the following night in life or death struggles against various assassins, so she looks rightfully exhausted (and I'm sure the pain from her wounds disturbed what little time she was able to sleep).
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While they wait for Yor at the island, Anya continues to show how much she has Twilight wrapped around her little finger – all she has to do is suggest that he's not acting like a "normal" dad would, and he immediately bursts into an awkward skip to try and prove to whoever's looking that, yes, he is just a dad having fun on vacation!
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However, as soon as he realizes that Yor is there, his face reddens in embarrassment. He doesn't care if nearby strangers think he's acting like a silly, fun-loving dad, but it seems like he doesn't want Yor's view of him as a dignified, composed husband to be tarnished.
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His look of concern when he notices that Yor's face is swollen is emphasized more in the anime…what could have been his first thought upon seeing that? However, when she tells him that despite City Hall's failed attempt to win over the couple, they were smiling in the end, he softens. Since the latter part of Yor's words here were not a lie, she was able to express them with genuine satisfaction, and Twilight picked up on her sincere feelings about the matter.
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In fact, throughout their entire time on the island, Twilight gazes at Yor with more noticeable softness than he ever has before. From the aforementioned moment when she tells him that the couple were happy, to when she tells him how peaceful she feels watching Anya play with the sheep, and then at the very end of their excursion when he praises her for her hard work while carrying her and Anya back to the ship…Anya may have been right to call him out about missing Yor during the cruise. As I mentioned before, this is likely the longest time he's gone without seeing her since their "marriage," so this may be his subtle way of showing that he missed her.
At this point in the series, it's not hard to tell when Twilight's smile is his fake "Loid Forger" smile versus his real smile – Endo does a good job making the former look "forced," usually accompanied by his eyes being closed in a stiff squint to emphasize the phoniness, while in the latter case, his eyes are much more relaxed and his expression is more animated overall. Nightfall noticed this as well during her visit to the Forger house – how Twilight's real feelings seeped through the phony smile, particularly when his eyes relaxed.
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Takuya Eguchi, Twilight's voice actor, also does a good job changing the pitch of his voice slightly when he's speaking as Loid Forger versus speaking his true feelings. If you compare how Twilight converses with Yor in this episode compared to, say, how he converses with Desmond during their encounter at Eden, the difference is very noticeable…even though, according to Twilight, both situations are "for the mission." In his mind, he shouldn't feel anything special for Yor compared to Desmond or anyone else he has to put on an act in front of. And yet, his voice and eyes convey otherwise.
It's been a while since the Forgers went on a family outing, so it was wonderful seeing them enjoy such a variety of activities together. What stood out to me the most as far as analyzing was Yor's difficulty riding the horse.
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This may be more of a headcanon, but I feel like animals are uncomfortable around her because they can sense her insane physical strength even when she's not actively showing it. This could be why Kopi didn't put up any fight when she grabbed him, why all she had to do was glare at the German shepherd for him to run away, and why this horse doesn't want her riding him. It could also be why she's Bond's least favorite according to Endo in the fanbook. Also, Yor's fear of bugs makes sense since they're so tiny and quick, which makes them very difficult to take down from an assassinating perspective.
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While Anya plays with the sheep at the petting zoo, Yor is finally able to fully relax for the first time in days, since she got the cruise assignment. She doesn't have to do anything in that moment besides watch Anya enjoying herself to the fullest in this lovely, peaceful little town. She tells Loid how peaceful she feels while also thinking to herself that she hopes this peace could last forever. Out of all the activities they did together, the reason this particular scene is so emphasized is because it perfectly portrays the reason Yor decided to keep being Thorn Princess back on the ship – so that children, whether her little brother Yuri, Anya, Gram, or whoever, can live freely and innocently in a peaceful world. And, when she expresses to Loid how peaceful she feels here, he says that he feels the same way.
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As I just discussed, Twilight was not in "Loid Forger acting mode" here, so the reason he honestly agrees with her is because he's fighting for the same thing. Like I mentioned in Part 21, Twilight and Yor continue to do their ugly, thankless jobs in order to secure the peace of future generations.
When it's time for them to head back to the ship, Yor's exhaustion finally gets the best of her, forcing Twilight to carry both her and Anya in his arms on the way back. While he's a bit perturbed at first since some onlookers were snickering at him, it didn't take long for him to give into his feelings in that moment – namely, his genuine appreciation of Yor's sacrifice so that Anya could have a wonderful day with both parents. Though it's not a long scene, I think this is one of the most significant scenes for their relationship thus far (along with the post-Fiona date). Why is it so significant? Because there was no reason for Twilight to put on any Loid Forger acting in that moment, since he wasn't conversing with nor being scrutinized by anyone.
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So why would he give that soft smile followed by such affectionate, comforting words as "お疲れ様/otsukaresama"? (this can be translated in many ways, but generally it's what you say to thank someone for their hard work). The answer is because it's something he truly felt...he knows all about being overworked and tired, yet Yor still made the effort to spend the day with them to make Anya happy. And, as her father (or "for the mission" in his language), he was grateful for that (now if only he knew the sacrifice she made on the larger scale!)
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Many scenes in the cruise arc, as well as the resort island episode in particular, showcase that Twilight has a distinct relationship with both Yor and Anya, despite the fact that, in his mind, both relationships should be "fake." He's extremely casual with Anya, not just in his speech (more apparent in the Japanese version) and he doesn't feel any qualms about scolding her when necessary, being strict with her studies, or criticizing her weird little comments and actions that confuse him. The way he acts with Anya is more similar to how he acts with Franky than anyone else. But he's practically the opposite with Yor – despite her actions also confusing him at times, he never scolds, criticizes, or expresses disapproval of what she does. He also always speaks to her politely and, unlike most other people with whom he puts on his Loid Forger act, she's more often on the receiving end of his genuine smiles instead of his fake ones. It could be that because Anya is a child, he feels like he doesn't have to worry so much about acting in ways that would make her suspicious. Also because she's a child, she's less likely to take offense if he lets some of his negative emotions slip out. On the other hand, he knows from both the "post-Yuri's first visit" and "post-Fiona's first visit" instances that Yor has very sensitive self-esteem, so that could be why he's thoughtful about how he interacts with her, always speaking with courtesy and encouragement. He also knows the struggles she's had to go through in the past and how much she genuinely cares about Anya, which is another reason why she brings out his "softness" more often than anyone else.
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In a way, Twilight's relationship with both Yor and Anya bring out a side of him that he may not realize he wants to strive for – with Anya, he can be relaxed and can drop the "nice guy" act in favor of being an exasperated but still caring father. And with Yor, he can become the polite, compassionate husband naturally, because he knows that many of her struggles and values are the same as his…he's realizing more and more about how much she sacrifices for others, and that can't help but resonate in him whenever he interacts with her. Perhaps one day he can become these personas and drop the "Loid Forger" and "Twilight" acts for good.
Continue to Part 25 ->
<- Return to Part 23
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r--kt · 5 months
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Rin's confession scene and its rough timing
"the friend who liked her just died and THAT'S when she decided to confess to another guy?" that's what I heard about this scene. is it really this selfish? what's the point of her confessing right then? well, let's see
contents | the scene itself · lost in translation · prerequisites
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CH. 244. First version.
to begin with, I looked at the original scan, and it turns out that both English translations distort the essence. I also don't know Japanese and I will talk about it really shallowly.
why did I mention both translations? here's another one.
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I'll give this one as a better example and later will summarise the translation thing in general.
The scene itself
Obito is dead. Kakashi and Rin have just said goodbye to him forever (yeah, the irony) and are in the middle of a battle with Iwagakure ninjas, who are much stronger. that's Kakashi and Rin's conflict I'm going to talk about.
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so, Kakashi is not even considering the option that Rin will fight now, he is so set up for the idea of protecting her that this is the only attitude for him now, and it is not surprising for a child who has just lost a friend in battle. the same description can be applied to Rin. she also just lost a friend and is as afraid that she might lose another one. when Kakashi tells her to leave, she objects because she wants to protect him the same way he's protecting her now, and the same way Obito protected both of them (what a bunch of self-sacrificers). this is actually the central theme of their conflict.
so the first component of their conflict is Rin's care for Kakashi, from which the second component comes out — Rin's confession of her feelings for Kakashi. why so?
Lost in translation
now let's linger on the original, and see what was really meant there.
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CH. 244 Page 13
Rough translation (tell me if I messed it up)
Kakashi: Obito liked you... he liked you so much... you were important to him. that's why I'll risk my life to save it.
Rin: if that's the case! Kakashi... my feelings—
okay, how exactly is their dialogue built? Kakashi says about Obito's feelings for Rin and emphasizes that he is ready to risk his life to protect what was very important to Obito (saving Rin) in tribute to the dead comrade.
in response, Rin uses the word "nara" [ なら ] [second picture, frame on the left], which means "then, in that case, if". thus she makes a link with Kakashi's remark, which means that Rin intends to continue the meaning of what the boy said with his phrase.
the thing is, Kakashi's phrase contains two thoughts:
Obito, who just died in the fight, did it because he loved you very much and wanted for you to be safe.
I respect that and I want to fulfill his wish by protecting you. that's why you should go away.
Kakashi focuses on the second thought, while Rin focuses on the first one. this is where they have a conflict, they understood the meaning of what was said in different ways. or they choose what they wanted to hear.
Rin focuses on the first thought because with the second one Kakashi decided everything for her — after what happened. she needs to find an argument for why exactly she can stay and protect Kakashi, and this argument has already been said by Kakashi in relation to Obito, so why wouldn't he understand her in this?
what she intended to say can be read as follows: "since you understand Obito's position, you should understand why I don't want to leave you. the way I was dear to Obito, you are dear to me. and that's why I'm not leaving the battlefield."
her confession here is so hasty, forced, she needs to say it to explain her intentions. there's no selfishness actually and I think she didn't even wanted to tell this to him in such way, because she does it really cautiously, just enough to explain and not shout "I LOVE YOU", as Hinata did, for example. so, she just had to.
why is this "my feelings" phrase a declaration of love to him, and not something else? after all, feelings can be about a lot in such a context, and we are not given a direct lead, are we?
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Kakashi: I... I was once... the scum that would abandon you...
after Rin's words, Kakashi doesn't talk about anything but himself. he says that he has already let Rin down once, as if showing her that he is not worthy of Rin feeling for him anything comparable to what he mentioned before. we can also see that he is hesitating a bit, trying to find what to say, as if Rin's words were unexpected (but not traumatizing) for him anyways. however, he obviously interrupts her, that is, he does not want to hear the full phrase, again for the reason above.
Prerequisites
a couple of additional "why then" reasons.
Rin was being kidnapped, and she probably blamed herself for it. due to her abduction, kkobkk opened a side quest to rescue her, which led to the site of their last battle together (cave) and the enemy's trap (collapse). and the conflict scene with Kakashi takes place right after. can you imagine how it feels to feel guilty about everything that happened and find yourself in a situation where the best thing you can do is not get in the way? Rin's tears here, as well as her desire to help Kakashi after everything, are really justified, and I feel very sorry for the poor girl.
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CH. 239
and even while being kidnapped, Rin protected Kakashi and Obito in her own way. before the mission, she gave Kakashi a first aid kit, which helped a lot when he was injured.
well, what am I all about. this is not a random moment for confession, and you should not blame Rin for allegedly not respecting Obito's feelings. she? didn't respect Obito's feelings? can you hear yourself? she's the last person you can say that about. I love her. be nice to the cutie.
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thequietkid-moonie · 4 months
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hello, I’d like to request romantic scenarios about Madoka, Sayaka, Mami, & Homura from PMMM with a S/O who has an intense hero/savior complex to the point that they casually disregard their own (regarding the S/O) needs and health
S/O with superhero syndrome
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[ HEADCANONS ] [ Madoka, Sayaka, Mami Homura ]
[ Puella Magi Madoka Magica ]
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What an interesting request! I have bad memories about wanting to help too much people, anyways this was quite interesting to write so i hope you enjoy it! Thanks for requesting it!
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Kamame Madoka
Madoka is a really caring and loving girlfriend, she doesn't feel like she is enough and yet always wants to help, thats why she admired a lot your willingness and desire to help others! She wishes she could be as she could be as brave as you are but she just can't bring herself to do so, so she just sees you be a hero!
At first Madoka didn't thought much about your attitude, just the admiration for it, she even used to compliment a lot your strenght and bravery, she used to see it as something so admirable and innocent to the point that she even started to carry around a little first kit aid for whenever you end up injuring yourself a little, she hates when it happens but she doesn't want to stop you, so she used to just try to help as best as she can
It take a long time for Madoka to notice that your wish to help it can scale to unhealthy limits, it isn't that she didn't payed attention to you is just that she refused to aknowledge that you were getting into extremes by it, she wanted to believe so hard that you were fine and that you were doing fine because she didn't liked the idea of you being hurt
Even despite realicing that your behavior is quite unhealthy because it is putting your comfort and safety at risk, Madoka still will need some time before being able to say anything about it, Madoka is worried and even scare about you and your safety, the posibility of something happening to you doesn't let her sleep at night but she doesn't want to make you upset or offend you by accident when asking you about it
Madoka doesn't want to tell anyone about this for how serious it is but at the same time knows that it may be the best, so she end up telling her friends in hopes that they give her a good advice to how to deal with all of this, or at least to how gain the courage to confront you about it
When Madoka finally is able to confront you about it she emphasizes how worried she is for you but also how willing she is to help you, she loves you so she obviously will worry about you, she doesn't want you to get hurt and there is no need for you to put your life at risk, you two can find a way to help others without putting your own life in such risk
Madoka doesn't want to be pushy but she will be watching over you for the next days because she is to tense and worried, now that she could finally tell you her worries now she is a little bit more worried about what you would do and how you will react, now she is more frecuently remembering you how you don't need to go to the extreme to helping others, you matter just as much as anyone else
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Sayaka Miki
Sayaka is a incredibly caring person, specially towards her partner, she worries way too much for the person she loves but normally she tries to hide it. Still, at first, once Sayaka noticed how much you want to help others she even felt quite flattered, she imediatly take it as something good and always talked about this with a lot of admiration
Sayaka used to ask you stories about what you have done to help others, just like if you were a superhero, always giving you a lot of compliments and bragging about your bravery, about how selfless and admirable you are! Sayaka seems to always have something positive to say about your attitude, what, at the end, only end up feeding your need to help other
It take a while for Sayaka to finally understand how unhealthy this actually is, she tries to don't accept it because she doesn't like the idea of you putting yourself in danger just to help others, and deep down she also feels quite guilt for how much she always said that it was something good
It will take her a while to accept it and even more to try to talk to you about it, she wants let you know that forgetting your health isn't good at all, but she has a lot of troubles when trying to say it, she can't find the right words to tell you because she doesn't want to start an argument by accidentally upseting you or even offending you
Sayaka tries by indirect ways first, is undeniable and quite obvious how worried and anxious she is feeling but if you ever try to ask her (specially if you offer her help) she panic a little and quickly tries to brush it off, saying that she is fine and everything is fine while trying her hardest to laugh
Sayaka will spend quite a while time ranting to her friends about all of this, about how this is a problem for you and you can't just see it! about how you had forgot about yourself just to help others again! about how angry she is about this whole situation (but not exactly to you, she doesn't even know to what or who she is angry at this point), it continuos until her friends help her gaing the courage to talk with you about it
She will be way too anxious while confronting you, spitting all her worries without being able to stop herself, talking no-stop until she can't talk anymore, until she run out of breath and now is just embarrassed about all that she had said. If you get mad or even offended she kinda understand and even apologize for making you feel that way but not for confronting you, but if you seem affected by her words she will have the impulse to apologize, but will only swallow and ask you if you are alright
After finally confronting you and making sure you two are still in good terms she will be actively taking care of you, making sure you never forget about yourself even if she has to do it herself
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Mami Tomoe
Mami is a really caring and loving girlfriend, however she still finds quite hilarious that you two actively fight for help other in diferent ways and for diferent reasons, she does it because she wanted to survive and because is her job while you do it because is almost as if you need it, because you want to be the hero of someone
Honestly, at the start Mami support you in this, she finds more honorable your reasons to fight (or at least at the start) in comparation to hers but she doesn't feel bad about it, in reality she feels like she can understand you to some extent on how exhausting it can be
It doesn't take much time before Mami realice that your mindset and the reason of why you want to help others isn't exactly healthy or even purely altruistic, and, honestly, is something that worries her too much, you and her friends are the only thing that makes her life still have a meaning, is what gives her reasons to keep fighting with dignity and honor, so knowing that you put your life in danger just to help other makes her feel anxious and troubled (specially if you are not a magical girl and don't have real reasons to put your life at risk the way you do)
Just as she quickly notices your unhealthy behavior it doesn't take much time for Mami to confront you about it neither, but she does is so casually and smooth that you won't feel the pressure of being confronted, Mami ask you why do you feel this need and since when you were doing this just because she wants to help you out, and she leaves clear that this is unhealthy but she will try her best to help you, as well she reasures you that you and you alone are more than enough, you don't need to prove anything to anyone nor win others respect or admiration by doing all of this
Mami tent to give you compliments quite often along with a soft teasing, all wholesome fun, even after understanding your unhealthy behavior, although she does it along with a gentle remainder of not pushing yourself to your limits or force you to continue
Mami doesn't normally shows directly how worried she is for you, she does it indirectly by taking care of you and making sure you don't push yourself to the limits to help others, she makes sure you have proper rest and meals, she is there for you everytime she can and helps you help other people or even restrains you from even offering help when she thinks it has being too much, but she always does it with comforting words, not forcing you but trying to convince you, reminding you that this is unhealthy and there is no need
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Akemi Homura
For Homura her partner is irreplaceable and incomparable, she loves with intensity and is completely loyal to those feelings, Homura had problems expressing herself after all the problems she had to endure but she doesn't hesitant when it comes to her partner, specially with their safety
As much as Homura love you she despises that need you have of helping others, she doesn't like it at all and make her anxious, is the kind of thing that keeps her awake at night because she just can't stop feeling troubled by the idea a of you putting your own comfort and health under others, specially if those are people you don't even know
Homura hates it with all her being because is something threating for your safety, she doesn't understand why would you want to do something like that anyways, for her the most important thing in the world is you, and the fact that you put yourself under anyone else is eating her alive
The more you try to help other and putting yourself down by consequence the more angry and anxious she feels, Homura want to keep you safe but you being reckless by the excuse of helping others is making it too difficult! At that point Homura doesn't even try to hide how much she despises that habit of yours, expressing how stupid it is to risk your life in that way for people you don't even care about
Is probably that you two end up having some arguments about it, and even when Homura hates fighting with you she won't stop until you understand her point of view, she will have the same argument over and over again if that is what you need to finally listen to her
The more you insist on putting your life at risk by forgetting about you just to help others the more anxious and emotional she gets, there are high chances that she end up crying, begging you to stop doing this to yourself because is not healthy in the slighest, is just consuming your and her life (not that she particulary cares about her own)
Homura will be willing to acompany you and help you with your little journey to help others if you want, if that takes for you to stop putting yourself under others, but she will just do it for you to stop being so reckless and stop putting your life at risk, she won't really be kind to anyone she helps, she does it for you not for them
In this case she will be even angrier and even more at the edge whenever Kubey came into the picture, she knows that you would accept without thinking much and she can't let that happen, so she will grow even more protective over you. As well, she will try to take care of you at the best of her habilities, looking after you and paying close attention to make sure you aren't neglecting yourself
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just-some-sorta-person · 11 months
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Nagi's "Hidden Path"/ Loophole
*featuring Isagi, Bachira, and Rin analysis*
I've been thinking a lot about how Nagi represents a "hidden path" in Bluelock, and the ways in which it seems the main manga and episode Nagi disagree on whether he should succeed- the key issue being his relationship with Reo. He plays soccer for their collective dream in a manga where depending on another character for your motivation is treated as soccer suicide, which should doom him, but his own manga starts with the statement that his genius is shaped by Reo - framed as a good thing.
I've said in the past that maybe Nagi will succeed by Episode Nagi's standards, but fail by Blue Lock standards, and I still think that would be an interesting path to take, but rn I wanna discuss the alternative that Nagi succeeds by both standards, even if to a lesser extent in the main manga since Isagi is the MC. And we're assuming here that his relationship with Reo isn't permanently severed in a way that makes him more similar to every other Bllk character bc that would make him much less interesting and also remove the "hidden path" aspect that we're expecting here.
So for him to succeed by both standards, I think what essentially needs to happen is that Nagi represents a loophole or caveat in Blue Lock's philosophy. And to understand why that would be the case, we'd have to understand WHY playing for anyone but yourself is a bad thing in Blue Lock. And there are plenty of examples to draw from.
Isagi and "All for One"
We can start with the "One for all, all for one" team Isagi was in- the most extremely dependent soccer we see. I'll be drawing from Isagi's Light Novel for this, because it really just spells it out. First, let's look at the reasoning for that "all for one" given in response to Isagi's request to shoot more:
“Up until now, You could have won matches with your individual skills, but high school isn’t a piece of cake... We win together, and become stronger together! If you do that, then you'll have double the joy! And half the sorrow!”
The reasoning given here isn't that the resulting soccer is better at winning games - rather there is an emphasis on safety. "the world is tough", "If we stick together, there's half the sorrow". And within that emphasis, is the implication that the individual isn't enough.
We can also see complacency in this ideaology. When Ichinan loses, the coach says
“You fought well. It’s frustrating, but this is what Ichinan is capable of now. The third years are leaving after this… and some of you might quit soccer after today but you can be proud of the days you fought together as a team." "To me, Ichinan’s soccer team…is the best team in Japan!!!”
Within this dream doping that Ego rants about later on, we can again see the acceptance on the individual not being enough - "You fought well... but this is what Ichinan is capable of now." We also see within the dream doping the injection of safety and lack of perceived agency. Because we are one unit, there is no blame, no frustration, no need for improvement. The point is the team, not to win, so be proud.
Most damning is the way we see this reflected in Isagi
There’s no need to take a risky battle. If they lose, it will be his fault and he will feel bad for the team. He makes an exquisite pass to Tada's feet. A perfect last pass.
What's emphasized here is the risk in making an egotistical decision for the whole team in believing himself good enough to make that shot himself. What essentially happens here is a devaluing of the self - " I'm not good enough on my own, its safer to trust others, trust the system, not your instincts" And that forces Isagi to not live up to his fullest potential, to chase what he wants. Until Blue Lock that is.
Bachira and the Monster
Bachira is probably the character most directly "punished" in the narrative for playing for someone else. Though I feel like punish is the wrong word because this problem with his ego reared its head and was resolved in the same game - once he realized the problem, Bachira resolved to solve it
According to Bachira's explanation
"...Until now, I was afraid of playing soccer by myself. I guess I wanted you to come save me. But, once I tried fighting on my own, like I'd done as a kid, I realized...
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And so the problem with his habit of looking for another player when playing instead of focusing on himself was again the perceived lack of agency, and devaluing of the self. Longing for someone to play soccer with led to a dependency that negatively impacted his decisions on the field
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So that's why his moment of growth was breaking through all on his own to steak back Isagi and win - ignoring the idea that he should wait for someone else to help him. He needed to believe in his own agency/value to prove himself on the field and achieve his goals.
Rin and Sae
I recently took a look at Rin's Light Novel and there was a line that stood out as kinda similar to Bachira's old habit of passing to an imaginary monster before coming to Blue Lock
he understood why things were not going well. Neither their coach nor his other teammates have the slightest idea of Rin’s image of play in his head. (If it was Nii-chan, he would have made a pass here……) he thought so many times during today's practice. He jumped out in front of the goal to a position where I said, “Here!” but his teammates were like, “Huh?” “There?”
So whether you're passing or shooting, a reliance can develop, huh...
(How do Bachirin shippers feel about this parallel? haha. And what does this say about what Rin says to Bachira "But afraid of fighting alone. It is a soccer looking for someone. That luke-warm ego won't make my heart dance". Cus it seems Rin is criticizing Bachira for doing the same thing he did. What does this mean about how Rin feels about himself? (I mean.. he did already call himself lukewarm later but was he thinking about himself in that moment?))
In the light novel, I think it becomes clear one reason why Sae is so against Rin using him as his reason for soccer - it definitely affects how Rin plays when Sae is away. And since Sae becomes aware of the competition outside Japan during his time abroad, he knows that Rin's mentality as it was wouldn't be enough and thus wanted to spare him the suffering and have him give up. And this is in combination with the idea of "I've found out, that I'm not strong enough to hold you up. If you rely on me you'll fail" At least, this is my interpretation of it - but moving on-
With Rin’s last pass, they score a shot. If his Nii-chan had been there, he would have passed the ball to him in front of the goal and he would have scored it directly….. He stopped thinking. No pass is coming. That is now the reality. Anyway, the team won for the first time in a long time.
We see a lack of agency and a reliance on others once again - "If only Nii-chan was here". Like with Bachira, Rin is waiting for someone to "save" him, which limits what he chooses to attempt and stifles his potential because of how it limits his perceived agency.
We can also see this limitation in how he wants to be 2nd best after Sae - not best (de-valuing). It causes Rin to seal off his ego in order to catch up to Sae, by being more similar to Sae instead of developing according to his own unique talents/ego.
In order to catch up with his Nii-chan he saw off at the airport, he has to make the team’s victory his top priority. To do so, he must hold himself back. Hold back the you who was trying to steal the goal with everything you have using that sense of smell for the goal and assemble an attack as a team play.
Even after Sae's return he's always on Rin's mind, and this still limits his soccer. It's only after Rin declares himself lukewarm and rejects the stories others create through their relationship with him that he is able to go all out by embracing his own personal style, rather than focusing on others.
Back on Topic!
So in summary, what is wrong with depending on others? What causes Blue Lock to default to individualism? Ultimately it seems like its the resulting lack of perceived agency - the idea that you can't do things without other people present. By constraining yourself into a narrative with other people, you limit what you can do, and you limit what you think you can do by molding yourself to their vision. Thus, your potential is stifled.
How can Nagi and Reo become an exception to this reasoning? Well, maybe Nagi's decision to leave Reo during 2nd selection is part of the key.
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We know from Episode Nagi and Manshine that Nagi wants to improve for the sake of his and Reo's collective dream. And he (correctly) identifies following soccer that challenges/excites him as the proper way to improve.
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Here, Reo identifies them playing together as a must, but Nagi corrects him and saying that them being the best in the world together is a must, saying (in his head T-T) that he likes being with him, but that in order to protect their dream, Nagi needs to change.
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It's actually pretty much spelled out here. Nagi says he's fine with Reo playing with other people, but insists that Reo stay with him till the end. Its ok to play soccer with others, but keep me in your heart always. In other words, I don't mind not playing together, but you and our end goal is always in my heart.
This is different from Isagi, Bachira, or Rin's situation because in those cases, the team/monster/Sae were considered as key to success. However, in Nagi's case, success is key to Reo. It's completely reversed. It's that nuance of "I play soccer to play soccer with you, to win with you" vs. "I play soccer for you, I win for you". Because "playing together" is not a requirement for winning, it no longer acts as a constraint that restricts agency. Nagi's concept of being together separate from playing soccer together saves their partnership from being the same as the others and frees him to (for example) join Isagi to improve.
You can see more of this in epinagi
The Tag Game
You might say this is a bad example because Nagi relies on Reo to get him un-eliminated, but by Nagi's "I figured you'd do that, Reo..." we can guess that this was more from laziness than a belief that he needed Reo's help. Indeed, when Reo's in danger of being eliminated himself, when their dream is in any real danger, Nagi takes it upon himself to solve the issue
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They didn't solve the problem relying on teamwork/partnership or anything. Nagi solved the problem because they're partners.
Playing Against Barou
The next time their dream is "Challenged" is when Barou says "Becoming the world's best striker means you'll be alone until you die", essentially a challenge to the viability of Nagi and Reo's dream. Nagi's response to that is to run off and instigate a 1v1 with Barou
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So again, rather than deny Nagi options, his partnership with Reo provided the motivation to act out on his own.
Playing against Team Z
Even when they play against team Z, we see this in action. Nagi plays a more reliant soccer, his dream/Reo is challenged when he sees Reo's face, and Nagi decides to act out on his own.
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Nagi will rely on Reo for the sake of laziness, but when it comes to their dream, there's this pattern of deciding to rely less on Reo, take destiny into his own hands, and make an effort. It's really that nuance of doing something to be with someone vs. doing something for someone.
Beyond 1st/2nd Selection
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Brief mention here of Nagi's eyes shining when Reo says "But it's not enough" when Nagi praises him. I think this might be Nagi thinking its a sign that Reo in fact has not forgotten their promise and is also working to achieve it - consistent with the idea of being together without necessarily playing together (Whereas Reo is thinking the other way round - improving for the sake of playing together because that's the only way to be together)
So, where this theory hits its roadblock is the Manshine City Arc, where Nagi asks for Reo's help. But because of all the ominous foreshadowing afterwards, in addition to Ego's words that Nagi's deep ego (implied by timing of skull imagery +all the scenes I just listed to be Reo/dream-centric) is about to be tested, I think their dynamic is bound to change in some direction within the next game. So, their relationship is still in development and the theory isn't necessarily debunked.
**edited in addition** I think the key is that regardless of their behavior, the core of their partnership (ie their internal feelings) isn't dependency, but rather reciprocated faith and commitment, though especially with Nagi's communication and introspection issues, it may take some time for them to figure that out because Reo has no idea the faith that Nagi has in him. Reo actually assumes that their partnership can't exist without dependence - assumes its over when that dependence fades because Nagi will have no reason to stay with him, but this is him insecurely misinterpreting Nagi's intentions. They also can't really flourish until Nagi figures out his ego/motivation, though that's luckily foreshadowed to be addressed. I think with how Reo misinterprets Nagi's motivations on a shallow level in 207, and how Nagi's motivation is foreshadowed to be addressed soon, we will get nagireo communication soon timeline wise (not real life lol). And hopefully with that communication, Reo's insecurity + Nagi's motivation can be addressed and they can begin to figure out a functional partnership within Blue Lock. But really the key here is that faith and devotion don't necessitate playing with only each other in mind, while dependence/reliance does.
In terms of what will happen, I think we might finally get a confirmation of what Nagi's ego is - it certainly fits with their conversation in 207, where Reo tries to give a substitute that doesn't really fit. I'm not sure what would happen once Nagi and Reo have the clarity of understanding what Nagi's ego is though...
In Any Case!
I'm running out of fuel but just to let ya'll know I was thinking really hard about what the difference was between Nagi and Reo's dynamic in comparison to partnerships or teamwork criticized by the main manga and I did not expect the difference I came up with to be the difference between reliance and devotion. "I am not enough by myself" vs. "I will make myself enough for you". I still wonder if I'm just biased?
Plz lmk ur thoughts
link to a continuation of these thoughts - Hiori's Words, Reo's Insecurity, Nagi's Enforced Indifference
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demodraws0606 · 9 days
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Whit and Eden Accomplices Theory (or mostly just rambling about how Eden could be the culprit in a way that makes sense to me and also how Whit's strange behavior could be explained alongside it but that's a way longer title, oh wai-)
(I'm so sorry every DRDT theory I have involves Whit maybe if he was fucking normal and also not my fav character I would stop putting him in everything)
My entire mindset about theories is just throwing shit at the wall until it sticks, and it seems that this one has really stuck in my mind.
I feel like this post will be long bc there has to be a lot of explanation as to how I got to this theory.
See, I have an issue with the Eden motive from mostly a character perspective as Eden coming up on her own such a cruel method to kill Arei just does not feel in character even if she did snap. It also doesn't help that there isn't much of a motive for her. I've seen people justify but I just don't buy it and I personally just find it a bit boring. I also don't believe she would be fully distrustful of Arei unless being pushed to believe so.
However, the idea that she might have an accomplice could help that justification but it ends up creating a lot more problems. Because you'd need to find a character who would be willing to put their life on the line for seemingly no good reason. This is the issue I had with the Levi/Eden accomplice theory and now for me that theory is pretty much debunked since Levi admitting to his secret just drives more suspicion around him (it also doesn't match with his behavior in the trial, he does seem to genuinely want to help).
I can't deny that Eden definitely is the most suspicious despite me throwing Levi and even Whit under the fire purely because I just don't buy narratively that Eden murdering Arei makes sense. However undeniably, Eden could have access to both Teruko/Hu's clothes and she could've gotten hold of the tape, doesn't help that she was also quite suspicious when Teruko snuck up on her.
So I start to go back to the idea of accomplices, if it's not Levi, who could it be ?
Now before I get to Whit, I do want to propose the kind of other thought I had that didn't quite work out but also is interesting.
Eden culprit + Hu accomplice theory
Now this one is purely because of the fact that we know Hu and Eden hanged out a lot the day before the murder happened, Hu and Eden talked about the clothes as well. There's enough of a connection to make them planning a murder make sense.
However, it doesn't make sense with Hu's character so far. We do know she seems reluctant about her secret however we run into the problem that she has no reason not to just admit it on the spot when the secrets are now already revealed. It works especially not well with the fact that her whole thing is that she wants to live and blows up at David for wanting to play with the cast's lives. In fact her secret quote emphasizes how much she wants to live.
Her having also an alibi makes it impossible for her to have committed/contributed to the murder directly though if she's an accomplice that isn't much of a rebutal, it just makes it impossible for her to be anything more than just a distant accomplice.
Anyways, that really just doesnt leave us with a lot of viable accomplices to help Eden, at least not ones that would make actual sense except....
*sigh* Whit...
I would like to say this is kind of an evolution/building up of my personal theory of Whit being the culprit, as he was linked with a lot of suspicious behavior and also would be the only one with a hypothetical motivation (which in this theory there is a potential second motivation possibly here).
Now my main argument against a lot of the accomplices is the threat of death, who would willingly risk or give up their lives for someone's murder ??
The thing is...Whit already has multiple times refused to tell the truth both in the first case and second case, to the detriment of the survival of everybody. Trial 2 being the most obvious with him being reluctant about Eden's note and David's secret, if he truly continued to keep it shut he had potential to risk people's lives by leaving out information. In the first trial it's him being reluctant to divulge Charles's trauma despite it being the key reason as to why he couldn't have commited the murder.
In fact it's such an issue that Charles hands his secret to Teruko and not Whit because he can't trust Whit to divulge the secret in the class trial.
This would also give Whit a motive, his strange disposition to not unveil anyone's secret could potentially expand to him having personal motivation to not have everyone's secret revealed.
But I think the real motive lies in the strange subject of Whit's secret, his secret being thrown away by Rose without her looking at it, making it impossible for Whit to ever know what his secret was. Interestingly enough he also takes a strange amount of time to indentify that secret as his, like to a point of it no longer just being carelessness.
Therefore lies a potential motivation of him overthinking what his secret actually is. If you want more I go into Whit's potential motivation more in the Whit culprit post (specifically his strange behavior) but let's get onto other information that's smaller but works well with th
Another thing that like, while is mostly based on vibes and circumstancial evidence is still an interesting thing to think about. There's the fact that Whit and Eden were both the people chosen with Teruko and this is something I want to bring up for three reasons.
One, it is important to bring up the counter argument of "them orchestrating Arei's death would go against the body announcement rules right ?" and that is correct. However, the rule is extremely vague to an almost ridiculous degree, if Arei died of suffocation or if Whit and Eden weren't looking when she actually died would it not count as "witnessing the murder" ? In fact I believe this rule being there more so hint at it being subverted especially since we know how unreliable Mono-TV is. Also if we're going with that argument, it is interesting to also note that Eden and Whit were weirdly reluctant about Teruko going to the playground (aka Whit asking if she even really is at the playground and Eden telling Teruko to please wait when she opens the door).
Second, is Whit and Eden's closeness due to this trial, well that wouldn't be the right word, the more correct word would be proximity. Whit jumps to comfort Eden, although in a quite strange apathetic way (no whit saying "there there" doesn't count as actually emotionally being there for someone whose friend just got hanged). They both are in charge of the evidence by Teruko with Rose being grouped up as well. Whit tries to avoid the subject around the note that is incriminating to Eden. They also both "coincidentally" didn't notice Arei's swaying.
Third, more shorter and "funny" little subject would be Teruko's bad luck, especially with Min in the first trial. How unlucky would she be to have picked both of the people responsible for Arei's death. It would be an interesting running theme. However there's not much evidence behind that.
Now here are like short little bullet points that I think kinda cement my thoughts on how Whit being an accomplice can work (bc a lot of people have talked about Eden being the culprit already)
-Whit again one of the few who knows about Arei's rope, everyone could've technically gotten their hands on it but only a few would really know about the rope itself and it being taken away
-Whit is the one to question about acomplice thing and in fact actually manages to get Mono-TV to accept his criteria on who would be considered the blackened. Aka the one that was the most "active" in the crime. If Whit managed to do less than Eden this could be a potential attempt at him for the rules to be in his favor in case Eden gets found out (or vice verca, if he did most of the work he'd be the one to escape).
-I feel like Whit would be high in the spot of being able to manipulate Eden, they both have similar ideologies, plus his intuition seems to get him to read people like a book (or see the future ? were still not sure about that one chief /j). Along that it would be really funny if the Ultimate Matchmaker was the one to break down a relationship. Similar irony to the Ultimate Student killing the Ultimate Rebel.
Anyways I'm sorry about these incoherent ramblings, i'm trying to piece this whole thing together and Eden just being the culprit just doesn't sit right mainly because it feels like the story doesnt justify itself enough.
So here's some spice
By the way if Whit's motivation seems strange throughout my ramblings is mainly because I don't fully know what they are, what I was trying to get across is mostly that it wouldn't be out of character for Whit to have motivations that would lead him down to helping Eden. Unlike, say, Hu whose whole theme of being someone who probably having taken their own life before considering the secrets, has an immense determination to live.
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