#i feel like i never draw at all so thats a shock to me

[butch-bakugo]

Its not a shock to me that most "transandrophobia doesn't exist" people are trans women, mostly white trans women. They have a very specific image of what a trans man looks like and it's only two categories: the hyper fem, tits out, make up, twink trans man who doesn't pass nor try to and the hyper masculine, bearded, t'd up, all the surgeries, big buff trans man who you could never clock. They genuinely think every "transandrophobia truther" is lieing about not getting privileges they don't fucking have.

They genuinely believe every trans man passes and therefore we get male privilege and they get backed up by trans men who do pass and think a cis man making rape jokes with them and asking about their lift set is male privilege. Lemme shatter the illusion because as much as you like to scream about some wide spread privilege that doesn't exist, most trans people, in general, do not pass. This is especially true for trans men due to the hyperfocus society puts on feminine features. I have never met a fully passing trans man and I've met over a hundred personally irl. never. I know they exist but the fact y'all think we, en masse, get male privilege is factually just fucking wrong.

Trans men are not more acceptable or palatable to transphobes. Trans men are not more likely to pass. Trans men in mass do not get male privilege by virtue of our lack of passing and our medical history. Most trans men are still affected by the gender pay gap and thus can not afford surgeries.

You do not acknowledge the existence of non-passing trans men, only uphold the voices of trans men who pass and have the money for surgeries (a small percentage) then wonder why trans men laugh in your face when you make claims about male privilege we do not experience.

We are more likely to be conversionally raped than you. We are more like to be forcibly detransioned than you. We are more likely to experience domestic violence than you. We are more likely to experience hate crimes than you.

Trans men's hyper visibility in online spaces dose not transfer to real life visibility. You are more likely to see white cis gay men and white trans women in any media or ever mentioned than even white cis lesbians or white trans men. Your rhetoric is the origin of the "theyfab" myth. Our issues are invisible to you cause you do not care about other trans people besides yourself and other transfems. Everyone and their trans mother knows about transmysogny and the issues you personally face yet you expect trans men to be silent about their issues and feel like they should be silent because they are men. Trans men are more likely to experience litterally all forms of violence over trans women in every single avenue of violence that exists; religious, sexual, domestic, familial, etc. We are more likely to be stopped and abused before we socially transtion than anyone else due to hyper vigilance of society over afabs. You can scream all you'd like about how we only bring up our sex/the gender we are often raised as when it's convenient but you always ignore those often traumatizing experiences when it's convenient for you.

Many Transmascs and trans men had a traumatizing upbringing because society views us as "bad women" and " bad women" get treated so much worse and by many more angles than "bad men" specifically because we were forcibly assigned as women. You take advantage of a lack of nuance in the community by trying to group us with cis men specifically because you group yourself with cis women. News flash, neither of us and our experiences should be grouped with ANY cis group because we do not have cisgendered experiences.

I seriously think you think you are the most oppressed group in the trans community and you are not, not by a long shot. You are not the most oppressed group in the transgender community and that's a statistical fact. The most oppressed group, by far, are two spirits and cultural genders by virtue of them being inherently indigenous and indigenous people being the most oppressed race of people in the community regardless of the location they are indigenous to.

You are literally taking advantage of the things that were drilled into transmascs at a young age to be seen and not heard and to be quiet and let others talk, that they are lesser than everyone. Everyday there's a new story in the community of a cis man or a trans woman getting a trans man/masc pregnant to hurt them or force them off t or to detransion, this is not a fucking accident. You are not men, no one ever said you were, but you sure love to silence them like they do.

I'm not quiet, you do not intimately know our issues the same way we do not intimately know yours, You don't get to tell us what we do and don't experience and the fact you'd rather cry wolf and suspiciously call us "bitches" than hear us out, tells me everything i need to know. That alt right to trans woman pipeline you said you escaped? Yeah, you didn't. Ur just an alt right trans woman, Try Again.

[jjsloverre]

after school -j.m

pairing: nerd!jj x popular!reader

in which… nerd!jj finally gets the courage to ask out popular!reader after she was forced to be his study buddy.

includes… cursing, a TINY bit of smut, handjob, fluff, overall cuteness 🤭

__________________________________________________________

it wasn’t shocking that jj looked at you everywhere you went. people would consider the nerd boy obsessed with you, the most popular girl in school. you never noticed him until your history class.

your teacher, mr. davis forced you to have a tutor because you were failing tremendously. and of course, jj already found a way to be your tutor. “you need to pass with a ‘c’ or higher or you are failing my class do you understand y/n?”

“fuck me…” you mumbled to yourself as mr. davis showed you your tutor. “who is this?” you asked. “don’t be rude y/n. this is jj maybank and he’ll be your tutor for the next two weeks.” you roll your eyes and reluctantly sat beside him. “i’m not studying at this stupid ass school, we can go to my house after school, don’t get any ideas.” you told jj straight up.

“l-like in your bedroom…?” he stuttered. you laughed at his nervousness. “no, i have a library in there to find all those shitty books about history or whatever.” he nodded. “so um.. im jj.” you rolled your eyes. “yeah i get that now.”

time skip…

jj showed up at your house as promised. you led him to your personal library. you both sat down as he tried to teach you whatever he was talking about. your eyes were wandering until you saw a large bulge poking out his pants. you immediately stopped him from talking more.

“yeah yeah no more of that.” jj looked confused. “did i say something wrong?” you shook your head no, and look down at his pants for him to also realize. once he does his cheeks deepened to a bright red. “s-sorry— i’ll take care of it—” you cut him off quickly. “or let me?”

jj didn’t realize it was even possible for him to grow harder in his jeans just from the words coming out of your mouth. “i never realized how good looking you are until i finally looked closely at you.” you kissed his neck and he moaned heavenly. “i-i’ve never done this before…” you lean up to kiss him. “yeah, i can tell.”

you palmed his hardening cock more and more until he started to jerk, a damp spot coming in his jeans. “jj did you cum already?” you ask. he shook his head no. “no- no i didn’t, it just feels s’good…” he gives you heavenly kisses to your forehead, to calm himself down. “here, let’s take care of it, shall we?”

he quickly nodded. “yes ma’am..” you took his dick out, it was big— bigger than you imagined with a little curve. your mouth watered at the sight. “i-is there something wrong?” he asked, his head resting on yours. “no, not at all.” you reassure him. “okay..” with that, you stroked him, slowly to tease. his tip leaking with precum. he looked so beautiful, you kiss his cheek and move your hands faster and faster.

“t-too much…” jj whined. “no, you got it jj, cmon you can take it.” you encouraged. he pulled you in for a hungry kiss, you gladly kissed him back. to you, he tasted like heaven. he moaned into the kiss, his balls drawing up tight. “i think i’m cumming! shit i’m cumming!” he screamed. you held your tongue out as spurts of cum erupted from his dick. he thrust into your hand until he was empty. you caught as much of his delicious release as you could.

“that- thats so hot..” he said, catching his breath. “you’re really cute jj.” you told him. he blushed and kissed your cheek. “do you… maybe want to go on a date? or you know? anything like that?” you cupped his cheek, kissing him between your words. “i would love to. now that all that is over, wanna continue studying?”

he nods, and hugs you. “i do a little, i’m happy you said yes.” you smile up at him, kissing him again. “i’m glad you asked me out jj.”

___________________________________________________________

a/n: i enjoyed writing this, should i do more parts of their date and potentially their first time?

taglist: @sturniologirlzz @sturns-mermaid @ethanthequeefqueen @aaliyahsturniolo @sophand4n4

[nobodyknowsimalesbian777]

Anderson - Abby (Tlou 2)

NSFW tags - enemies to lovers lowkey, hate sex, masturbation, powerbottom!abby, face-fucking (r!receiving), orgasm denial sorta (a!receiving), 18+

authors note: need to dominate a buff woman so bad oh my goddddddd. hoping to release something for ellie too if i get any requests or ideas 😈😈

----------------------------------------------------------

you bolted straight up as you awoke, instinctively reaching for the pistol that sat on the nightstand next to you

you pulled your hand away, noticing the way the cold of the morning seemed to envelope you, making every inch of your skin quiver

sweat gathered on your brow in spite of this, gathering on your palms as you rested your head in your hands

you took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself as you reached over to grab your worn journal

the cover was sturdy, with only a few scruffs and scratches, probably from you throwing it against your wall so often

the inside however, was absolutely filthy, filled with lewd drawings and stories of the woman you adamantly hated, abby anderson.

she was a wlf soldier, who you worked far tot close to. you had been on the same unit for years, which ment years of you enduring abbys hate-flirting

you knew she did it on purpose, because she saw first-hand how it riled you up. you would think the physical fights would be enough to split you two up.

you couldn't help it, the frustration made your face, and cunt, become unbearably warm. and she was just so easy to catch off guard when she got flirty.

so you had moved to journaling about abby, aggressively.

'had another sex dream about anderson again??? i swear to god she can't won't leave me alone, even in my dreams. i can't stand her.'

you slammed the cover shut, burrowing back under your blankets and trying to clear the image of abby's bare thighs from your mind

of course it was all you could think of. you couldn't catch a break.

it was andersons fault, you didn't mean to walk in on her changing. maybe if she fucking answered when you knocked it wouldn't have happened.

instead you're here, burying your hand between your legs and thinking about her toned thighs, the way they met with her plump ass

and her back, oh my god, her back.

you wanted to watch her back muscles ripple and flex while you fucked her from behind,

tugging on that stupid braid and drawing out the most needy moans

slick pooled under you as you fantasized about abby,

thinking about all the ways you would show her how much you hated her

"fuck you, anderson" your voice was low as your fingers sped up, the feeling on your clit drawing out quiet groans

and just as it was starting to get good, you felt your blanket come flying off you

an all too familiar voice echoing through your quiet room "well fuck you too-"

you met eyes with Abby just in time to see them shoot open, her jaw dropping while she took in the sight in front of her

"oh my god." you were surprised by the lack of disgust in her voice, which you expected

still, you felt your stomach sink as you realized abby had just caught you thinking about her,

with your hands down your pants.

her muscular frame took up so much space in your room, space that you had never imagined she'd be here to fill

"they told me to come wake you up..i- you didn't answer when i knocked" her voice trailed off as her eyes traveled down your body,

clad in pajama pants and a sports bra, not nearly enough clothes to be having this conversation with her

you swear you were in shock, and you opened your mouth to explain yourself, but no words came to your defense

"so...you're not going to tell me why my name is in your mouth right now?" her voice was challenging you, questioning if you really knew what she had just saw

"wrong anderson, i was thinking about your...uh, your...dad?" you really hated her for being an orphan right now.

"right. my dad. ohhkay." she cocked her brow at you, "didn't think you were that fucked up."

"NO! not your dad, thats not what...not like that" you looked up to see abby fucking laughing at you

a real laugh, one you had only seen from a distance, it seemed to light up her whole face,

that is until you sent a pillow flying off of it

"it's not fucking funny, abby!" her laughter just grew, almost doubling her over as she damn-near snorted

"i just caught you masturbating for me, after telling the whole unit how much you can't stand me," she had to fight off another fit of laughter "how is that not funny?"

your head landed in your hands, yet again. maybe this was just a nightmare, a horrible, cruel nightmare that you would soon wake up from

but it wasn't a nightmare, and when you felt abbys body press up against yours, you didn't think you wanted it to be.

her lips met yours in a harsh collision, both of your bodies a flury of passion and hatred as you both grabbed at every bit of flesh you could

your hands landed on abbys shirt, tugging it over her head in one movement with her sports bra

her tits sat perfectly, right in front of you. they were small, mostly muscle from her vigorous training, and they were absolutely captivating

your mouth found its way to her rosy nipples, sucking them harshly, one after the other

abbys pretty moans bounced off the walls while your tounge worked circles around her nipples,

her back arching off the bed, pressing her chest farther into you

you couldn't stop yourself from blindly searching for the waistband of her jeans, popping your mouth off her chest when you felt her belt

abby watched you with a smirk while you fumbled with her belt buckle, every frustrated grunt you made sent a shock right down to her pussy,

she was too impatient to let you struggle for long, however. you watched as she reached down and flipped her buckle open with one hand

"i need you on my tounge." you muttered, so incredibly turned on by her casual behavior and shit-eatting grin, which she was very aware of

her hips bent upwards, allowing you to pull her jeans and boxers off, eliciting a small gasp from the woman above you as the cold air hit her core

you hadn't pegged abby to care much about body hair,

nobody did anymore, with everything else there was to worry about these days

but sitting pretty under her boxers was a little landing strip, guiding you right down to her soaking cunt

you thanked god when you saw it connected to a little happy trail, you found your lips drawn to it,

leaving little kisses down her stomach, the wiry hairs tickling your lips

abby was writhing under you while you took your time, kissing all around her thighs and stomach,

making sure to give her attention everywhere except exactly the place she needed it

the woman grabbed your hair, tugging it up and forcing you to meet her steel blue eyes

"stop fucking around and eat my pussy." her words were nowhere close to a request,

abby anderson was bossing you around, and you fucking loved it

her hands stayed in your hair as she pushed you down to her cunt, watching as you licked slow, experimental strips up her pussy,

seeing the way her face contored gave you the confirmation you needed to continue sloppily dragging your tounge from her aching hole to her swollen clit

nothing you'd ever had tasted more divine then her, and you found yourself gripping her thighs,

shoving her into your face like you needed her to breathe

no part of you doubted that her scent alone would be enough to get you off,

but you found yourself grinding down into the bed anyway, searching for some form of friction

abby took note of this, watching your pretty ass jiggle with every movement of your hips,

she couldn't even register the absolutely maddening sounds coming out of her,

every moan made your stomach flutter, and you felt high off her voice already

"mm, gonna make me cum if you keep that up pretty girl" abby was trying her best to stay in control, and she was failing miserably

her cocky words held no weight, you could hear the bliss in her voice, and you felt it against your face

every motion you made drove her closer to her release, and she was very vocal about how close she was getting

thoughts of her teasing and flirting came to mind, you couldn't shake all the times she had that stomach-curdling power over you,

and as much as you wanted to continue, you wanted to have that power over her more

so when her moans were getting uncharacteristicly high, and her hips were grinding up with a near painful force,

you pulled back

abbys muscular body squirmed under your gaze as her whines and pleas filled the room,

"wh- what? no, no, no i was so close" you wanted so badly to dive back between her legs, to make her shake and come undone for you,

but she just sounded too good begging for you, so you placed a firm slap on her ass,

eliciting a surprised yelp from her as you gathered your clothes and started getting dressed

abbys desperate eyes followed you, watching with confusion as you threw her clothes into her lap

"they're gonna wonder where we are, better hustle anderson." you said as you head out your door, watching her scramble to get ready and get back before any questions arose.

----------------------------------------------------------

you watched as abby scrambled over to the meeting table, all eyes on her and her flushed face

she tried to steady her breath, asking "what?"

manny looked between the two of you, eyes landing on you as you shared a knowing look with him.

"didn't expect you to be so loud abby, ." manny said with the same shit-eatting grin you had seen on her earlier,

both of you doubled over in laughter as her face lit up, random sounds sputtering out while she tried to explain herself.

you were looking forward to having the upper hand over her now.

----------------------------------------------------------

listening to abby whimpering audio rn 🧘‍♀️🎧

[2knightt]

Hiiii! Can you do the outsiders gang with an s/o who models I feel like that would be interesting :)

↳but i’m into it, i’m into it.₊˚✧

➬ the gang x model!fem!reader

a/n;i love famous reader so much omfg. also, i love using chase atlantic lyrics for my titles. dont chase men, chase atlantic everyone.

Johnny Cade ;

believes that you are the most BEAUTIFUL person to walk the planet.

STRONGLY BELIEVES THAT.

probably thinks you’re too good for him.

PLEASE TELL HIM HE’S ENOUGH FOR YOU.

take him too your shoots and he will be blushing the whole time.

if you wear something that’s flattering to your body shape, he will explode right then and there.

“how do i look? should i fix my hair?”

“you look perfect.”

“you think?”

“…mhm.”

the gang seen you on a magazine cover and started freaking the fuck out.

“HOLY SHIT JOHNNY ISN’T THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?”

“WOAHHH!”

“jesus…does she have a sister?”

“guys please stop.”

cuts out your magazine covers/photo shoot pictures and keeps them in his jean jacket pocket.

not in a weird way, just in a way that when he’s sad and you aren’t around he can remind himself on how lucky he can really be.

Dallas Winston ;

oh my god he never shuts up about how he got the hottest model ever.

“yeah she’s pretty n all but, my girlfriends a model so.”

“that’s so cool that your chick is…like that! but mines a model, so, she’s just better.”

buys steals all your magazines/any photo shoot you do.

any guy thats talks about you in way dallas doesn’t like, gets knocked out.

“i’d hit that.”

“yeah?”

“yea—”

dead./j

no but he would pull all his strength in that punch.

the gang thought he kidnapped you because no way in hell a pretty girl like you would go after dallas winston.

“y/n, blink twice if you’re kidnapped.”

“raise your hand if you need help, dude.”

“guys, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

you’re legit, all he thinks about.

he’s so whipped for a model girlfriend, if you asked him to jump he’d ask how high.

genuinely believes you’re an angel, will NOT tell you that to your face though.

Ponyboy Curtis ;

he gets so nervous around you omfg.

his palms be sweating n shit, stuttering and everything.

“he-hey y/n.”

“oh, hey pony!”

uses his favourite photo shoot of yours as a book mark. i can feel it in me bones.

he giggles and kicks his feet when he looks at that bookmark btw

draws you?? i feel like that’s his favourite pass time.

IF HE HAS TO DESCRIBE A STORY IN ENGLISH HE WRITES ABOUT HOW HE MET YOU OMFG AND THE WAY HE’D DESCRIBE YOU IN THE ESSAY??/?!:;&

he’d be so sweet with his words when he talks about you. i cant i love him so much

the gang is lowkey jealous that the youngest one out of all of them pulled a model.

“hey, don’t you model?”

“yeah!”

“what.”

“how did ponyboy get a date with you?”

“…are you guys serious? am i that ugly to you guys?”

Sodapop Curtis ;

POWER COUPLE OH MY GOD I CAN’T.

you guys walking in the street together probably makes people pass out.

literally nobody was shocked that you guys started dating.

the prettiest girl for the prettiest boy, it was bound to happen, c’mon.

he probably got into modeling because of you.

OH MY GOD IMAGINE DOING A PHOTO SHOOT WITH HIM???

he asks for his favourite picture of you two from that shoot to be printed out larger for him so he can hang it in his room.

like dallas, he will punch a guy for you.

“she’s hot.”

“she has a boyfriend.”

“so?”

call 911 cause that guys gonna need it in a minute!

showed steve a picture of you before he introduced you to the gang.

“oh my god soda. why are you dating a literal model?”

“why not?”

“but what else did i expect, you get girls daily.”

Darry Curtis ;

honestly, he couldn’t care less about what you do for work.

if it brings in money, it brings in money.

but the gang sure as hell does!

“YO ISN’T THAT Y/N L/N?!”

“THE MODEL?”

“yeah? how do you guys know her?”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW HER?”

“she’s my girlfriend, soda. that’s why i brought her here.”

“WHAT??”

i’d be lying if i said darry didn’t carry around a head shot of you in his wallet.

he doesn’t brag, but when the chance to talk about you comes, he takes the chance.

“good for her. huh? oh—my girlfriend models. pretty popular.”

when he sees a magazine with you in it for sale, darry snatches it so fast.

compliments you after he seen it.

“i like your most recent shoot, the makeup suits you.”

“you think, darry?”

Steve Randle ;

rocked the whole world when you guys started dating.

DOESN’T SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT YOU.

“that’s so tuff soda, but y/n actually said—”

“nobody cares steve.”

“shut up and let me tell you what MY GIRLFRIEND said.”

STEVE HAS A PICTURE OF YOU TAPPED ON THE INSIDE OF THE TOP OF HIS TOOL BOX.

takes you on dates 24/7 just to show you off.

sometimes he lets go of your hand to see if anyone would flirt with you so he can punch them.

gang thought he held you hostage when you started dating ngl.

“you can do so much better, y/n.”

“dallas, shut the fuck up.”

“i’m just sayin’.”

“i will knock you out.”

Two-bit Matthews ;

HE’S SO WHIPPED FOR YOU IT’S DISGUSTING.

you have him giggling n shit.

his room is filled to the brim with photos of you.

not in a weird way, he just thinks you’re drop dead gorgeous.

tells you cheesy pickup lines, all the time.

“are you from Tennessee? cause you’re the only TEN I SEE! get it?”

would start a fan club for you if you asked nice enough.

introducing you to the gang was earth shattering for them.

“how??”

“what do you mean, ‘how?’”

“how did you pull her?”

“I PULLED HER WITH MY GOOD LOOKS AND CHARM, STEVE.”

“you’re so funny, two-bit.”

“like you falling flat on your fucking face yesterday?”

“YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TALK ABOUT THAT.”

may 24th, 2023. 11:30PM.

tag-list ;

@diorgirl444, @typereader 🧍‍♂️

[writingoddess1125]

Buggy Catching you in a New Costume (HC)

Fluffy Fluff with a Touch of spice

Support me on Ko-Fi

Main Masterlist<<<

• You being the main costume designer and creator with the Buggy Pirates defiently had its perks and downsides.

• A downside being you having to create new peices on the fly. Like the one currently in your hands.

• It was giving you one hell of a time, so many ripples of fabric and pearls that seemed to want to battle you. However one part on the front leg was extra difficult- it needed a particular angle in order to see how it felt-

• You knew the performer couldn't come down for a last minute fitting anyway since it took too much time and the costumes never lasted long anyway.

• You two were about the same size anyway..

• So you slipped it on quickly, figuring a few moments couldn't hurt-

• You adjust some of the fabric accordingly- glancing at yourself a few times since... the costume did look damn good on you

• Unaware of the door being opened and a figure making their way inside.

• "Holy fuck-"

• You turning around quickly to see your partner Buggy standing there, fresh from drinking it seemed as he stared at you in total shock. A wave of worry hitting your chest at the way he was staring at you which you'd never seen before-

• "Oh my Gods-"

• ...

• "Wow! You're so damn gorgeous!" He gushed, his eyes wide with amazement as he stares over your form with awe and desire.

• "Wow!"

• You can't help but giggle at this words and shyly cover your face as you feel his gaze practically worship you.

• "Oh my Gods~" He awed, you Not noticing his steps coming towards you as he gave a wide crooked grin.

• "If thats for you, You can't wear that as a costume- It looks too damn good and I wouldn't be able to control myself during a show-" He chuckles out, floating his gloved hands around your waist to give you a small twirl. "I'd just turn the whole show into getting to gaze at you"

• You blush and bat his hand away playfully making one of the many pearls jingle and clank.

• "Well it's for one of the performers- I put it on since we are the same size and-"

• His lips crashed against your own suddenly, drawing you in as his form seemed to be all over you.

• "B-Bugs" You manage to whisper out as you feel him closing the space between the two of you

• "You're so beautiful~" He purred out, a crooked grin on his lips as his lips traveled to your exposed neck.

• "Bugs I gotta finish this-" You whine weakly, already feeling your will power giving up on finishing this damn costume.

• "So do I~"

• He winks- And just like that you've practically been swept out to Sea as Buggy wisk you off to the couch in your little studio space.

• You end up apologizing to the performer and saying you had to make her a completely new costume-

• Cause somehow the original ended up ripped and stained-

[changbinsboobs]

Changbin as husband is next I'm curious for his and hyunjinss

This is the longest fucking reading I've ever had so i just HAD to split it in 2 parts so bear with me. I love him but i hate him right now😩 (no i don't)

Husband Series: Changbin pt. 1

Ugh...that guy🫠 i bet you if i let him use up my whole deck he would. The amount of "ok last card" i had to say...and yet there was still so much gushing put...and ugh, i just can't stress enough how much into details he is and how much he wants to stress on them and make sure they don't go unnoticed or get misunderstood or overlooked. Reminds me so much of my audhd friend😭. Anyways back on track - tho i don't even know where to begin from, i really think he used up half my deck. I just counted 23 cards😳 i do indeed draw a lot for the others too but thats just next level. Not on topic but i think he's a really chatty drunk😂 now i wanna read on them when drunk🙌🏻😂

Ok soooo since i have so many cards ill try to combine them as much as i can and keep the messages as concise as possible so this post doesn't become a novel - the overall energy i noticed here is not so much emphasis on him as a husband but overall him as a partner in a committed relationship. Which leads me to believe he himself doesn't view marriage with such dread as the others did (there wasn't really any dread with felix bust still a certain anxiety around responsibilities, meanwhile that with changbin is absolutely nonexistent). I would say he seems himself as capable and even ready to take on that responsibility and role if the opportunity presents itself and i think he believes he'll do a good job. He's responsible, capable and can take care of it. I actually sense a feeling of pride in him about that.

Another MAJOR theme is him being a "simp" for his partner (he insists on wife). There are many cards that im trying to sum up:

He's very protective over her and doesn't let anyone say shit about her, he's giving me guard dog vibes. Also a big bodyguardy. I can see him when being out with her eyeing people and being on alert and just idk, looking scary as to scare of any weirdos before they even think about trying something. And to clear any misunderstandings up, im really not getting this coming from jealousy (not that its not there, it is😂, but its just 10% reason, out of 100), but rather because he wants the woman he loves to feel safe and protected around him. He wants her to be able to relax and trust that he will always have her back and keep her safe. He wants her pretty little witty head not to be bothered by ANYTHING!

More from the simpy train - looks up to her a lot and kinda puts her a bit on a pedestal. This is not a very debilitating energy but feels rather like something he has made peace with and accepts - which is that she is indeed better than him and he can never be able to reach her, which means he is incredibly lucky and appreciative of the fact a woman like that has chosen him and he tries whatever he can to live up to her standard and continue to give her reasons to stay with him and continue to love him. Although she can never love him as much as he does (thats his thought🥲). But as i said this doesn't feel victimy to me at all but rather just seems realistic to him and he's a big boy and can accept reality for what it is and choose to feel lucky instead of beating himself up for not being good enough and self sabotage. Im actually really shocked looking at his energy because i can really feel the strength of his mind and ughh just how innovative and flexible he is. His will is just astounding and making me really happy, despite him obviously having some issues he doesn't let himself be defined by it and chooses to spin them to him favor. What an amazing guy💗

Back to the reading - so he spends a lot of time in his head, doing A LOT of 2 things. One is being thinking of his girl and what he can do to make her happy, analyzing previous conversations to see if he missed something or if he has remembered everything. Contemplating if she maybe gave him a hint about something, or if she maybe looked hesitant with something. Maybe her body language was off? He notes that. If there was any difference in her behaviour today, if she looked different. He's really putting LOTS of energy thinking about her and analyzing her and her behaviour. Again this doesn't seem to come from distrust (although he thinks of that as well, its just not his motivator, he just considers everything, thats why) but rather for his own feeling of safety. I think he is a very thoughtful and analyzing and sensitive person in nature so this may be something he always does, except when its something very important to him, and a relationship at that - he does it even more intensely. He doesn't only think about and analyze her tho. He does that to him too, to their relationship as well. He just wants to have a good understanding and overview of everything that is happening in the relationship so he has a sense of control and safety. You can always fix something if you know its broken. Or beginning to bend. You can fix the problem before the branch brakes i think is what he wants to say. And he wants things to run as smoothly as possible with them, and once again he has taken on the responsibility to make his girls life as easy and carefree as possible and how can that happen if he leaves the whole relationship in her hands?! He can't, so he doesn't his part very diligently and tries to keep up on the same level as her, emotional-intelligence-wise.

He also doesn't to just thinking but planing & organizing. So i think he takes lots of care for other stuff too like planing and booking fun dates. If he cant attend then books fun stuff for her. Provide her with the needed tools/means for her to be able to create, to indulge in her hobbies. He really loves that feminine creator energy and really wants to do his best to encourage and provide an encouraging environment for his wife to get in her feminine creator energy and bring him joy with it. Also thats really random but he's always ready and loves giving her massages😂💗(after her long day of crafting). He just loves hearing about it, seeing the excitement in her voice and face. It charges him.

He also spends lots of time fantasizing about her. Reminiscing wonderful dates, imagining potential future ones, creating scenarios etc. He's just A LOT in his head, his mind is really really active, and its very occupied with his love. Also another random message, commitment and love are tied with him somehow. Im seeing he cant commit if he doesn't love but he also cant love if he can't commit. So i would say he's very extreme-y. Like he's either all in or all out. No middle ground. What i mean is he HAS to be this intense in a relationship because for him thats commitment, THATS expressing love. And if he's not able to do that, then his love and interest and enthusiasm begin to fade away. He HAS to be able to be like that in a relationship and i think often he has been labeled (or was) just WAYYY TOO MUCH for the girls he has been in a relationship with. Im seeing he can get very overwhelming and overbearing if the person he's with just isn't the person to enjoy that kind of commitment and effort. But to go back to the cards, he also fantasizes about physical stuff too, for example he's riding in the car, and for the whole ride he's imagining and giggling and wiggling his feet and twirling his hairs because he plays over and over how that one time while they were still just dating she looked him in the eyes with that wet sexy look, and how his whole body got shivers and his stomach dropped and his heart skipped and his palms got sweaty and he swears some saliva started dripping out the corner of his mouth and his knees got weak and he almost felt like he was gonna black out and by the time he came back to his senses she was already sooo close to his lips and them BAM. Fireworks everywhere. He can never forget how that wonderful kiss felt and how sweet the sexual tension and anticipation before it was. He plays stuff like that OVER AND OVER again the whole damn day.

While being on physical stuff, he is pretty horny ill say. But not in a bunny way,m where he wants to fuck 5 times a day, but rather when around his girl he's always half way up, always ready to rise for the occasion iykwim. I think he gets *excited*👀 very easily and is just really weak when it comes to his girl. He's always ready to deliver whenever she ask, whatever she asks. Als im seeing once again he's a giver (and despite him loving head so much) he's focused on her pleasure and he can off just from watching her enjoy...whatever it is. So yeah thats that😂

Bro im so tired im thinking about doing this in 2 parts😭 im just halfway. Ok yk what im splitting it.

[skunkes]

ok detailed surgery experience

i made this schedule (?) of the major events as soon as I left while I cld still remember (and still kinda forgot!) i like knowing the Times of stuff so I asked my dad to take note of Times for me, and tried to ask for the time where i could

surgery I got was a laproscopic bilateral salpingectomy, full removal of the fallopian tubes only!

Misc details off of dis, obviously TMI territory as its a medical procedure.

The second blood draw (they took blood from me yesterday tooooo) hurt less and more somehow. Nasty nasty bruise forming.

IV really was the worst part of it ! I'd get weird throbs of frustrating pain long after it was in

I was given compression stockings that went right up to my crotch. Your toes stick out, and they put hospital socks over your feet. Some additional compress wraps were placed above my knees.

Pre op/prep didnt take too long at all. I know I have it listed as over an hour of waiting, which always made me nervous to read in other people's experiences, but it doesn't really feel like waiting. The TV helps pass the time, as do the people who are with you if any, and the nurses popping in with help or instructions or updates. The prep room was small and the bathroom was next door. The double doors open to wheel you out. Remote was given toe to control the TV and also call the nurses via a speaker.

The nurse who wheeled me in was nicest, she pronounced my name Correctly and was also really funny and friendly...

In general I knew this surgery was going to go well because I was actually able to fall asleep last night. I've stayed awake/tossed and turned for events far less stressful. Dis was also due to part of it kind of not feeling real for me! And being wheeled into surgery room added to that! It didnt feel real, it felt like watching one of many scenes from medical media of the same point of view.

I did start quaking and shaking once in the surgery room (also small, I did not look around much in fear of it making me panic last minute!)

They had me scoot from the prep bed to the surgery table. There was a pink foam headrest for me to slot the back of my head into. They strap you in with arms out like ur being crucified and thats when it became more Real for me so i started shaking a lot, but I can't tell how bad it was under the heavy blankets. I think I shook more and for longer when I went for my MRI (which also isnt/wasnt scary but the body freaks out for no reason). Im surprised at myself for being so Calm ykwim

Anyway, strapped in, had monitoring stuff stickered onto my body: my sternum, side of body under chest/armpits, and another pair I cant remember where. Hair was put up in hair net. My hospital gown was untied as the tie starts halfway across your body and goes under, but this was not done in an invasive-to-privacy way, and I was still fully covered by it (and then recovered by blankets)

(3 separate people asked me how many kids I had throughout this whole venture, and were Shocked at my response. This was the other most nerve wracking part as I started to get weirdly anxious that someone wouldn't like this and cancel my surgery or something. One of the Askers was the anesthesiologist.) Doctor/surgeon came in and asked if i was ready and talked about how he loved being under anesthesia LOL. Everybody was speaking about their opinions about childbirth and sterilization and parenthood, but amongst each other and not to influence my decision, along with telling each other to set up XYZ. Once again everybody is charmed by Cheye's usage of the word "yay"

Ive never had surgery before, so I was worried about anesthesia. In my mind i was imagining it to be being fully lucid and then your vision darkens and takes you, which was scary to me like i dont wanna be freaking out and then immediately KNOCKED out!

But it was gradual which actually made it more calming for me...the funny nurse put the oxygen mask over me, I got very nervous bc she said to take deep breaths and honestly i couldnt even breath much at all in it, and breathing out also felt very restricting and like I was going to choke, but it wasn't Distressing. I just breathed slowly and it worked anyway.

In a few seconds I felt a cool tingle in my arm that then sort of burst into my torso, and my whole body felt really light and my eyelids draggggggged half closed, but it felt very mechanical and involuntarily (like slowly closing window blinds...or like how the brightness options on a 3DS are numbered buttons ykwim? Like, Closing 1, Closing 2, Closing 3, Closed Halfway, all pressed in quick succession). Heavy heavy heavy. I stayed in that half closed state for a while! (Probably not even a full minute, but it also wasn't instant...i still had time to think and Hear conversation etc, as well as feel that there was some mechanical thing tightening around my spread arms along with the hand adjusted straps)

The funny nurse was telling me to relax and have sweet dreams and that they wld take care of me and such. And then I was out. I do not remember my vision fully fading or eyes fully closing, in my mind they stayed in that half closed state.

Ive heard ppl say it feels like blinking and waking up, but it did feel like sleep to me!!!! I know dreaming under anesthesia isn't really a thing, but waking up felt like....i was really waking up like normal and trying to remember traces of a dream after several hours of sleep.

I always thought it was silly seeing ppl ask if the surgery was over when they come out of it, but I did that. But like i swear it came out involuntarily??? Like i knew it was over....i think it was because I couldnt really SEE anything when i woke up, I could only hear staff speaking to me, and I can barely remember what they said. Vision was VERY very blurred. So I guess that question came out as substitute for Where Am I, and Who's Here With Me? Speaking felt like when audio unsyncs from a video, with my voice trailing far behind my words. I also remember being really bewildered bc there was some sort of residue on my lips, like when they're chapped and dry and cracking. I learned later this was bc of the intubation but i Didnt Know That Yet so i was just scared and thirsty.

Adding another "pain was less bad than the average period which has one Doubled Over" statement to the pile. Pain was at 3/10 or 4/10, which is to say if period pain is a whole abdomen event, this pain was small little bruises occasionally being brushed up against, just small throbs of sore pain in the 3 incision spots. I got an incision inside my belly button and that was the most present sensation, but that might also be bc I hate anything having to do with that area in general 😭 always feels weird.

My throat felt very DRY. It wasn't pain yet, it felt like when you're thirsty + dehydrated and your lips stick together at any slight moisture, but in the throat. Kept trying to look around and wiggle my fingers and toes in hopes that'd help me Come Out Of It sooner bc not being able to see was really frustrating me. I could not make out the face of the person watching over me for some time. I really wanted water !

HORROR when the person looking over me said i had a catheter still in me. Nightmare I wasnt counting on actually happening and wasnt mentally prepared for. I was told I would have one placed (make sure to ask if this is a concern for you!) but i thought they'd take it out before I woke up... I cldnt even feel it in me when I was told this! Which is good.

The staff of course had to remove blankets and open my gown a bit to access the area. But I did not feel any distress about this at the time.

Had a very funny slow motion distress response bracing self for removal. It did not hurt or sting at all, it just felt like [something I cant describe here]. Just pressure! It was pulled out gently but quickly of course.

After 1 hr i was wheeled to a separate private recovery room. The nurse uncovered my lower area to check if incisions were doing good so far as well as to check if I had been provided with a pad/underwear, as some patients have blood or other fluids come out as a result of the surgery.

parents came in, was so grateful for juice but in dismay over my food item being orange (i dont like citrus flavor) jello (i dont like jello 😭) i consumed all of both.

I also worried I'd feel weird about throwing my body parts away. But I dont feel anything ^_^ just feels very awesome and natural

Sore throat started further developing. Nurse came in after some time here, taught me how to Get Up. Was scary! I was worried about it hurting, but it was just more soreness.

Was able to go to the bathroom, went a very little bit but it was enough. I was very scared about seeing my incisions and being disgusted by them....but I caught a glance and it was Okey Yey. They are covered in surgical Glue and dont look gnarly, swollen, red or anything they look very cool ^_^ got dressed in stages as there was nothing to set clothes down on and sat back down on the bed. The bathroom connected to another room where somebody else was preparing for surgery.

Nurse came in with final post op instructions, upon describing nausea to me my skin got cold, stomach activated and krusty krab exploded with it. She was just barely able to get me a bag to throw up in. This exacerbated the throat pain. She encouraged me to get it all out especially since I also expelled gas, which is a good thing.

IV removal didnt hurt! Same level of pain as the tape around it being yanked off. I couldn't even tell it was over. I was wheeled out of the hospital. ^_^ i wore an oversized dress my sister lent me, and cheap target sandals so I wouldnt have to bend to tie shoes. My dad pulled up the car right outside. I brought a pillow to be a barrier in between the seat belt and my stomach.

Its 6:48 neow and I am laying down, but the pain is (currently) the same. I had another nausea (and release. Also exacerbated throat pain.) spell (while in walmart picking up the pain meds), was boiling alive in my very hot room, and was a bit dehydrated which may have contributed to some misery and nausea but as of right now I'm ok, i changed into lighter clothes, drank water, ate a bit, and situated self in a room with ac....i worry about getting up and becoming nauseous again 😭 i hate throwing up.

People are right about it being more discomfort than pain! You have to walk around every few hours, and it doesnt hurt but every step feels like my bellybutton is kinda pinching inward. Being tugged at from the inside. Ive gotten to a point where even chuckling makes me feel this very Sour soreness (not regular dull soreness) so maybe ill start the meds soon if necessary.... Squatting to sit doesnt hurt in a debilitating way, neither does actually sitting or putting on/stepping into clothing.

I couldnt nap because laying on my side doesnt hurt the incisions or anything, BUT its just the strange discomfort again. The weight of gravity on the body makes the incision sites feel very very weird in an abstract way i cant describe. It isnt pain. It feels like a mismatched sensation of some sort. Like if you touched your nose and somehow felt the touch on your knee. Adjacent to this. A very specific sensation sits in all the incision sites and drags down through your mattress to the ground and it feels Weird.

If you get up properly it really doesn't hurt to do so! Use your leg to get yourself fully onto your side, then use your arm to push yourself up into a sitting position.

I am very nervous from when all the good strong hospital meds wear off t_t i heard the day after is a struggle because of dis. but ive got the prescribed pain management on hand (extra strength ibuprofen and tylenol with codeine!! O_O) neow at least ^_^;

OH, AND THE DOCTOR TOOK FOTOS OF MY INSIDES LIKE I ASKED! ^_^ 🫶 I have glossy printed souvenir now! I dont exactly know wtf im looking at but its awesum LOL maybe i will ask for details at the follow up!

[number1jaymerrickhater]

So I'm going to see the terrible influence tour in november and even managed to snag gold tickets so I'm gonna get a meet and greet. This is amazing however whether due to anxiety or excitement I've been having weird dreams about it so I think I'll share some of them with tumblr.

1. Me and my best friend are waiting in line at the meet and greet, they suddnely announce they are tired of this and want to leave. We begin to fight because we are litterally in line to meet Dan and Phil. What do you mean you want to go now of all times??? Our fighting draws some attention and suddenly Dan and Phil appear, adopt us both on the spot and then drags us on stage to introduce us to the audience. We get booed off stage and start fighting over whos fault it is, Dan and Phil start fighting over where they went wrong raising us.

2. I am in the city where the show is being held and I realize that the show is today. I call my friend, and they say they're studying for midterms and can't go, but I should totally ride the train to see them. I ask them whats going on and they say to trust them. I go on the (several hour) train ride to see them and find out Dan and Phil are just casually in their dorm room helping them study. I pass out from shock and Phil tries to remove my apendix because "thats what you do when people pass out"

3. I go to the TIT and realize that the meet and great happened before the show, not after it. While Im sobbing about missing my chance to meet Dan and Phil they anounce that theres a part of the show where they need an audience member to come on stage. They call me and I get dragged on stage and have to cut Phils hair. I apologize profusly because I suck at cutting hair and he says "just cut it gay boy" so I get mad and shave him bald. I get a little jacket that says 'number 1 cutter' on the back and everyone leaves the show in tears. (Also they anounce they're in portland, which is several states away from me and I realize with relief that I didn't miss my meet and great, I just showed up to the wrong show.)

4. Dan and Phil loudly anounce on stage that they're not just bringing up their own secrets. They selected one lucky audience member to confess a secret to their 'maybe unrequided its complicated' gay crush. That lucky audience member happened to be me and I had to confess my feelings to my crush, who both didn't like me back and was also very confused how he was suddenly teleported onto the stage.

5. I asked Dan and Phil to sign my trans flag but they couldn't cuz there was nothing to lean against so Phil said "yk what, we'll just take this with us and then give it back to u later tonight after the show so we can sign it backstage" except they never gave it back they stole my trans flag. Months later after the tour they film a video with my trans flag hanging above a pile of random stuff and the video is titled something along the lines of "looking at all the stuff we stole from YOU haha loosers"

6. While taking pictures for the meet and greet Dan leaned over and whispered in my ear "me and Phil got a phivorice....no one will ever believe you" then I woke up immediately afterward.

[cupids-flyer]

Architecturestudent!Armin

Vira note: pls spare me. This my first work on here ♡︎ ill get better as i keep writing🧚🏾‍♀️

Armin falling for you the pretty and smart architecture princess | fluff |

you knew walking into a architecture class in all pink with you’re dark brown complexion would cause a lot of staring but you didn’t care. as you put your bamboo earrings in, your playlist changed the song to The Key by Tems but you paused it till you got into your car and drove to school.

architecturestudent!armin who sat in the back struggling to keep his eyes open in class couldn’t help but notice you the girl in all pink walking into architecture class.

“Princess! I think you’re in the wrong class!” someone yells out to you. “This room 208. Architecture. Is it not?” You say looking at the teacher for confirmation. “Yes you are correct. Y/n right? The only open seat we have is in the back.” “Thanks.” you say smiling walking to your seat.

architecturestudent!armin who is entranced at the way your hips sway as you walk to the only open seat beside him in the back and take out your books

“Hi!” you say smiling “i’m y/n and you’re..” “I’m Armin but call me Min everyone does.” He says responding frantically “thats cutee, well Min i hope we become good friends this semester!” You say cheesin

architecturestudent!armin who was in shock at how forward you were. from you saying “stop being a stranger, move your chair closer” to Give me your number.” which had him shocked “if i didn’t ask i had a feeling i would’ve never got it!” you say chuckling

architecturestudent!armin who couldn’t get you out of his head the way you always where attentive in class, always knew the topics, and always writing notes and sharing them with him. he knew you were a dime and he couldn’t let you slide from up under him. he couldn’t let you go.

architecturestudent!armin who loves drawing so he draws you little doodles in the middle of class. but one day he scribbles fast on the paper and taps your hand urging you to read it. you glance and the paper and do a double take as your eyes get wide. he’s asking to take you out soon. you look over to smile at him while writing a fast “yes” he was so happy he could’ve jumped out of his chair

architecturestudent!armin who calls you because he didn’t understand some of the lesson and as he looks at the picture you sent of your notes. while his face is in the camera you see that he wrinkles his forehead and sticks his tongue out when he focuses. you think it’s a adorable habit but he has no idea at all.

architecturestudent!armin who takes you to a little cafe just to talk and get closer to eachother. you learn that he was the shy type when he was younger and still slightly is but learned how to stand up for himself with his friends help. you also learn that he loves minecraft and use to have one of those creeper jackets and a diamond sword.

“It’s not that funny.” He says with a straight face as you laugh your ass off “I-“ You say trying to catch your breath “im trynna to imagine you with the jacket on zipped up with the diamond sword IN HAND!” you say busting out in laughter. he can’t help but notice how pretty you look to him when your laughing.

architecturestudent!armin who loves seeing and making you laugh. some people may call your laugh obnoxious, loud, ugly, weird. but he found it weirdly adorable.

architecturestudent!armin who calls you almost everyday just to hear your voice. he keeps a note on his phone of all your favorite things and facts about you so he never forgets.

architecturestudent!armin has the patience of a saint. like when you and him where challenged with making and building a modern miniature house structure with 2 tiers and the blueprint just didn’t work together it kept falling and while you got frustrated armin calmed you down.

“BRUH this just isn’t working. Why is the structure not structuring!” you say slamming your hand’s against the desk “y/n its okay.” he says rubbing your leg and his hand on your back “maybe we need more stability on the pillars.” he says getting more stabilizers and the building began to stand up. “armin! you were right! “ you say hugging him. you didn’t know it but armin was feeling more accomplished and comfortable than he ever did before.

architecturestudent!armin who’s parents got him a luxury apartment to stay in invites you over to his apartment to see a project he had been assigned.

“Welcome to my place y/n!” he says while ushering you in with his hand on the small of your back before closing the door. “Min…” you say looking at his beautiful apartment. “this place is amazing” you say with your jaw dropping “it’s nothing really!” he says anxiously with his hand up and scratching his neck “my parents didn’t want me to stay in a dorm. so they got me this place.” he says walking around “you want something to drink?” he says leaning in the fridge and putting out 2 of your fav drinks. “definitely!” you say sitting at the island “so what’s with this project?” you say taking a sip “it’s nothing really i’m just making a victorian style-“ you couldn’t barely comprehend the words coming out of his mouth and you kept looking at his lips. slowly but surely armin started to notice and he felt the same whenever you answered.

architecturestudent!armin who’s so soft for you so when you start dozing off during the project he lets you stay over and sleep in his house saying “it’s to late for you to be driving.” all you can get out is a “mhm” while your heavy lidded eyes couldn’t take the weight and finally closed. what you didn’t know was armin kissed your forehead while you were sleeping wishin you good dreams.

architecturestudent!armin who wakes up earlier than you and makes you a breakfast for a queen.

“Min?” you call out into the house from the room you were in. you smell the aroma of french toast and pancakes. like a spell you let your feet take you to the smell. as you walk into the kitchen you see armin over the stove putting his all into making breakfast. “morning y/n.” he says with a smile looking over his shoulder “minn you shouldn’t have!” you say walking over and hugging him from behind hands around his waist. all he can think is anything for my angel.

architecturestudent!armin who’s been planning how to ask you to be his girlfriend for a while now. asking your favorite flowers getting you a necklace with your name and renting out a restaurant.

“Okay. Open your eyes in…

3

2

1

the gasp that left your mouth was indescribable. there armin stood infront of you with the necklace on display and flowers in hand. the restaurant was empty aside from the musicians playing romantic music. “i want you to feel loved and respected always so…. will you go out with me.” he asks nervously “you made this seem like a proposal min!” you say taking the items out of his hands and setting them on a nearby table then going back to give him a bear hug. “but yes i will go out with you Armin Arlet!”

[ace-does-stuff]

all of a sudden

Summary: Casey Jones is good at adapting, but he didn't expect to be adapting to mutating

Warnings: body modification, small panic attack, angst in general, check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: inspired by the possum Casey Jones AU made by @probably-not-a-rutabaga except with some rasey vibes that can be ignored if thats not your style. anyways, hope ya'll enjoy and if you do consider dropping a reblog or checking the ao3 port

It's covered in fur and has claws instead of nails, it's hissing as the mutagen worms through it's body and then it's dropping.

It isn't Casey Jones anymore, something much more creature. Chest heaving up and down and furred body immobile, hockey gear still strapped to it's form. Raphael just stares, in shock, in awe, partially paralyzed by the fear and the worry.

His partner in everything just mutated, into a rat, or something very rat like. And Raphael didn't take the hit, he should've, he probably would've went mad or turned to a primordial ooze of some sort if he did but it would be better than Casey having this fate. He slams the final Kraang against a wall before hoisting up Casey's body, it's light, lanky, mammalian.

Donnie can fix him.

-/-/-/-

"What happened?!" Was Donatello's first response to seeing Casey, "Who the fuck is this and where's Casey?"

"That is Casey," Raphael supplied.

Donatello nearly faints.

"Fix him," Fingers trace over the expanse of almost matted fur where the jacket does't cover anymore. He feels this deepseated guilt as he looks at Casey, he could've stopped this, he could've taken the hit. He should've been the one to get hit with that mutagen blast, not Casey.

"I don't think I can, I'll try but I think it's hopeless," Donatello claimed rather boldly, "I can probably stabilize him enough to keep his humanity-"

"Then do that, just don't lose him," Raphael practically begged, "Please."

-/-/-/-

There's the sound of someone shrieking followed by a shatter that draws Raphael from his state of almost there but not quite. He's quick to glance over to Donatello's lab to find a rat rushing out and freaking out. Terror is apparent on it's face as it glances around frantically in search of something to look at it's reflection.

"Casey,"

It whips it's head around to look at Raphael and it's absolutely Casey Jones, just in a different body. Taller, thinner, furrier, but it's still Casey, panic and fear, but all Casey. The turtle slowly walks over, as if he'll spook the possum if he goes too fast and he probably will.

"Raph," It speaks softly, quietly, voice cracking. Then it's leaned against it's partners plastron, holding on tight and crying. It's so confused, so lost, so wrong, "What happened to me?"

Raphael doesn't answer right away, just holds onto Casey and doesn't let go. A snout is nuzzled against his neck and they were the same height once, not anymore. He rubs circles onto the possums back, "Mutagen."

"Oh god," is all Casey can supply in response to the new knowledge, body shaking even more, "I'm not human, I'm not-"

"Yes, you are. You're Casey Jones, I promise," Raphael answered with before Casey could spiral, "You're still my partner, still our best friend, still Casey Jones."

There's a weak nod even though Casey doesn't believe a word coming out of Raphael's mouth, "Okay."

-/-/-/-

Casey Jones is an opossum, almost a rat but not quite, and he has an eternal vendetta against the Kraang. He lives in a sewer because of them, he's an animal because of them, he lost his sister because of them. Everything out there is gone because of them and he could do nothing but sulk in the sewers over his new body.

And now he's out in a farmhouse, naught but an animal and he swears he's losing his grasp on humanity a little bit more everyday. But he digs his claws in and tries not to let go because he's got the turtles, a group of four that were never human in the first place but have treated him so much better than any human ever has. If they learned humanity from a rat then he can hold onto what he already knows for his sake and their sake alike.

Hockey stick against sai every single day. Baseball bat against bo staff every single day. Fists against nunchaku every single day. He holds onto that humanity by working out the animal in violence whenever he can. He burned the scare crow mutant to a crisp when no one was looking, he grabbed his lighter and lit it up before anyone could say a thing. Before it could hurt anyone else.

He eats meat and steals scraps off of every one's plate because he's still getting used to the needing to eat every couple hours thing in smaller portions. He sleeps in the morning and wakes at noon, training every hour he's active because what else is there to do aside from chat and play shitty board games.

"Hey, Case," Raphael begins as he watches his partner eviscerate a raw slab of meat on a once white porcelain plate.

The possum snaps up and his pupils are slit, he has blood smattered on his snout and stuck in his fur, dripping from his whiskers. He just stares and chews before swallowing, "Yeah?"

"Do you want some water?" Raphael gently nudges over a glass and Casey is quick to grab it with bloodied paws, he drinks it eagerly.

"Thanks, still getting used to this," He gestures vaguely to himself, "And the meat cravings, and the sleep schedule."

"I know, just try to ease up on the craze, I think you scare Mikey sometimes," Raphael said.

Casey shrugged, "Oops, that's why we eat in the kitchen instead of out there with everyone else."

Raphael just rolled his eyes and took another bite of his pizza, "We'll go out and train after this, work out some of your energy."

"Fucking wicked," Casey answered with.

-/-/-/-

This is the closest Casey Jones will ever get to feeling like himself ever again.

Tip of the sai to his throat and all he does is smile because this is home.

Hockey stick to the back of his partners knees and all he does is smile because this is home.

Cruel words spat and all he does is smile because this is home.

Raphael pierces the tip of his sai into Casey's arm just to draw blood, just to feel pain, to understand what keeps him human.

And Casey Jones has one thing to say in response to the violence.

"Thank you,"

[inkprovised]

I thought it would be a good moment for me to post this.^^

Every time I struggle with my art and hate everything... I go back.

Something I recommend doing if you're about to burn everything!

I took some time to search for some OLD art of mine... there is nothing left that shows the absolute beginning. But I can explain a little how it went: (aka recreate some stuff)

You think your art sucks??

This is how my first art looked like. imagnie everything even more off XDD

God knows what was wrong with my kindergarten- brain, but I shit you not. I needed a very long time to get rid of the T-pose! 🫠 wth

no neck, no eyebrows... ya know- the good stuff!

I remember I've drawn all the Sailor Warriors on the street with chalk multiple times, and I remember there must be a photograph of them. Should I ever find it... Maybe I'll post it 🤣🤣🤣

The (probably) oldest drawing I could find.... behold:

Jeeezuz fuck.

'What on earth is anatomy??' Remember everyone starts from zero.🤣

The Pokemon phenomenon. It was my life when I was younger, and I am shocked I did not draw very much of it. 😶 (but I had the plan of redrawing all 151 Pkmn!!! I did about 10 in the end) lol

Who does not have a special book to learn how to draw.🥲

I think this was my first one... well. Burn it! Not sure it helped much on this end to be honest ^^;

I had a lot other books after that XD

Sometimes you just need a guide.

Seeing my old art reminds me how far I've come and it's the proof I'm getting better!

Look at the anatomy! The folding of cloth! Perfection! lol Do I see Detective Conan, Lord of the Rings, Legend of Zelda and Dragonball influence?? XDD

Seeing all of this, I am so happy I never quit.

Redrawing. Observation skills were non-existent

Draw what you see!!! You'll learn shit if you don`t 'recreate'. What do you think where your brain gets all the information it needs?

Both Zoro pictures are from the same year. Don't know about you but sometimes my skills jump like crazy!! There are 10-15yo pics that look better than all what I can do today. Thats weird!

Gawd I hate it now lol But I loved it the time I made this.

I grew up loving to draw. I did not do it to show it to someone in the first place. Since I had no speacial goal I got better very slowly, but that's fine. I never pushed my skills actively forward- so there's nothing to complain about.

"Layer? What's a Layer?!" vs "Oh. Layer."^^ WTF

The digital journey began with ms paint (left) I scanned the lines and used a mouse.

Paint net (right) still no graphic tablet but the program had line- and curve thingys I could draw with and of course.... Layer XD

I don't know exactly- but between this pictures might be 2 or 3 years. This is from my non shipping time. These days this is totally shipping content and you are not allowed to think otherwise XD Platonic love (bromance) seems not to be a thing online anymore. And I miss it.

I lived for the aesthetics!!! Still do XD

Realistic stuff helped me. Everytime I tryed to draw irl people in manga/comic style - you had NO chance to recognise them XDD That got better haha

Redrawings. A great way to see how much better you 've become.^^

A little tip:

Write the date onto your artpiece. (onto the backside if you draw on paper) You'll be thankfull in a couple of years^^

Don't give up Peoples!!

And one other thing: If you desperately try to find your style: How you draw right now IS your style. And you (can) have different styles. It changes all the time! It's not an end point of your drawing journey- because there is none. Keep evolving. Find ways to draw you like. Even then, move on^^

Hope you feel better^^ I hate it when people show you their "first arts" and it's some advanced stuff :(

[defira85]

I have... thoughts about the first episode of the Veilguard podcast and I suppose one could call them critical but I'm having war flashbacks about the DA fandom in the 2010s so. This is going under a cut and I'm not going to tag it. Because I don't want to spoiler people but I also don't want to draw lots of attention

My biggest issue is that I don't necessarily feel like anyone on the writing team has specific experience with writing radio drama

Listen, writing specifically audio only narratives is a skill. It's a difficult one. It's not the same as reading an audiobook out loud, and it's not the same as listening to a recording of a live-play/improv group. It's not the same as a movie script. I've often thought that the closest comparison in terms of narrative structure and performance is live theatre, but even that has limitations to the comparisons

Exposition in radio drama is, by necessity, somewhat overstated. There's a lot of characters stating outright things that are happening, in order to convey that information to the audience, and sometimes that can come across as very... heavy handed. It's really hard to balance in a way that can seem like an organic conversation. They managed it relatively well at the start of the show when Nadia outright states that Elio has given her a ring - in a visual medium like a movie, we'd have a close up shot of the ring and maybe a close up of her shocked face, and they wouldn't need to explain it. But in the radio drama, we get the shock play out and then she confirms it's a ring thats upset her, because we as the audience need that explicit confirmation. It's the nature of the medium.

What isn't great, and this is where I think that it's obvious to me that the writers either aren't familiar with the medium or don't have a ton of experience with it, is the way that everything related to the conspiracy is laid out. Obviously, you don't want to info dump and ruin everything related to the conspiracy in the first episode, but it feels like this conversation happened at least 3 times:

"*gasp* what are you even saying?"

"... I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, you never want to talk-"

"Now isn't the time!"

"It's never the time for you!!"

What did Neve know about the raid and what did she say to convince Elio? We don't know, it's more important to have five minutes of grunting as Nadia climbs walls. Did we learn some stuff about Nadia as a character through the grunting? I mean, some of her stuff with Vik at the start, I'd say yes, but then it just went on and on. Did Elio talk to Nadia about what Neve told him on the arguably days or weeks long trek from Minrathous south to the Silent Plains? We don't know, they had to have multiple arguments like the one above. Could some of it be solved by the presence of a narrator? Arguable. How did Elio know the chant to follow along with Solas immediately?

"But Defira, they can't drop all of their exposition in the first episode, they need to build narrative tension" I'm not really talking about the story so much as I'm talking about how it's conveyed, how it's presented to us as an audience and what they're choosing to offer as the most important pieces of information and world/character building in the limited time frame. Lots of screaming each other's names dramatically sounds exciting, but it doesn't tell me anything the 15th time around. Lots of grunting as they yell and run and fight over and over again and I start to tune out

What can I tell about this first episode? That they spent a lot of money on sound design, and it sounds crowded. Narratively, I have lore questions (complaints) but that's not the point of the post.

The actors were great. The music was pretty good, but was it really worth it forking out for Hans Zimmer? The sound design was messy and cluttered.

I don't know. I'll keep listening, and maybe the writing will improve. The story concept is exciting but the execution is weak

I did laugh at Solas immediately fucking up again though

[likeadog]

i think i hauve a crush on you can you talk about ibara more

okay um teehee ill try to say something i havent just said a million times before o7

um but!!! one thing i think is interesting about her is ofc her hairstyle and the fact the crown of thorns very clearly had to have been styled herself (given we see her without it as well and just like, the nature of her hair) and in the sheet for her hero costume it says that "if she gets cold she can just wrap herself in her thorns". which is like, curious to me in that we know her thorns have some cutting and scraping power-- she expresses being worried about people getting scratched in the light novels, we see kirishima and kaminari covered in scrapes after getting wrapped up, etc. so this to me implies one of two things: either her skin is naturally just like, too tough to feel it, or shes gotten used to it

given like, what the crown of thorns represents and ibaras whole hardcore humble nature, personally i think that instead of being predisposed to thorn immunity, shes just gotten used to the prickles over the years. thats why i like drawing her with a lot of teeny tiny blemishes and scars on her face/neck/shoulders when i draw her!

(some of these are old as fuck fojeroijtgojogj sorry)

i would really. really like to see the vine sweater though like whatever "wrapping herself in thorns" means. please horikoshi i want to see it

i also think ibaras personality is full of some really fun and interesting contradictions and sillyisms like i know ive hammered on about how a lot of the times she just kinda does her own thing, but i think its cool to note that shes not like, obscenely arrogant or reckless or whatever. we see her express uncertainty a few times; she gets stage fright before class b's play, as well as in the ova when she tells jirou that she hasnt ever played baseball before. I think with ibara, it's not that she believes shes good at everything and always correct: i think ibara knows what shes good at, and so on THOSE things she doesnt really give a lot of wiggle room, but with other things, shes a lot more willing to let other people take the lead because shes like idkkkkk idkkkkkk girl

theres also times when she does lie! i know youre gasping. scandalized. but i think its also a really interesting little bit of insight

in the light novels, theres a chapter about the girls luring mineta into revealing himself while hes trying to peep in the training camp baths so they can kick his ass, and in that chapter, kendou, yui, and ibara act as the "decoys". they fake a conversation while they fill the room with smoke with a machine yaomomo made, and then all the girls hang out after and have a slumber party. ibaras well aware of what theyre doing and why, and she doesnt express any regret or uncertainty on the matter, even though shishida using her as a decoy in combat was something she was shocked and upset by. not to mention, she also mentions having stolen minetas headband in a "deceitful way" during the sports fest, and only mentions it possibly being a bad thing when their team wakes up after being brainwashed by shinsou and is like "was that karma for doing that"

like, there's very clearly this precedent of her explicitly and exclusively thinking of deception as 100% okay against mineta, which is hilarious, because we even see her apologize to gigantomachia.

This guy is trying to kill them. He is a "walking natural disaster". and shes still apologizing to him for outnumbering him. Which is hilarious. But she never once apologizes to Mineta. Given what that kind of thing means to Ibara, I think this makes her the character to express the most outright malice and hatred towards Mineta in the entire series. And she's right for that. (I don't know why so many people seem to ship them together also like what....anyways)

the biggest thing with ibara i think is that a lot of people will write her or write her off a certain way because of her initial gimmick and so they just kinda automatically assign a personality and traits based on the very western american concept of a devout christian. which is fair, i guess, like i get it, but ibara isn't in america (shes in a country where christianity is very heavily a minority) and i think most importantly, she's still a 16 year old girl. a very weird, very super powered 16 year old girl, but the appeal of the bnha students as characters is that even with all their funny habits and quirks, they're still VERY 16, and ibara is no different. the girl may talk about flayings and the body of the lord, but she still wears little pink sneakers to gym and gets nervous performing in a school play and has to worry about her math class.

and another one of her funny contradictions ive also spoken about but the way in which she speaks i think is another interesting facet. we know ibara is a very above-board, straightforward, honorable kid who hates lying or any type of deception. she has a moral panic over basic tactical maneuvers. but the way she talks is so esoteric that a lot of her peers dont seem to really understand her, and she seems almost completely oblivious to that fact? again, take an example from the light novels: iida asks what he just ate in the hot pot penalty game, and ibara says "the body of our lord..." to which he responds "A BODY?!" and its only when Yaomomo clears up that she's talking about bread does it get clarified at all. I can only think of one or two instances when Ibara clarifies what the fuck she's talking about at any time, and that's with a very direct set of questions. Another example is Shishida and his nickname:

It's very clear that he doesn't want to be called that, but they continue nonetheless.

And I don't think any of this is at odds with Ibara's very straightforward, guileless nature. I think it's just a "translation error"-- Ibara thinks what she's saying is exactly the same as what everyone else is saying, and doesn't get that most people don't have the context or background to decode how she speaks. They're "synonyms"-- but only to her, and nobody else. It's interesting! And I think it could provide a lot of interesting play with other characters who haven't had to adapt to it yet, or even with characters who by necessity would-- like Kaminari and Sero, who do work studies with her.

anyway eeeeek i have to get ready to go to work love you bye <3

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

aside from the alleged sexual vibes and maybe some of the mind controlly side effects mentioned in some of ur readings at least ik u arent that deeply obsessed and willingly delusional about said idols. i still find them interesting though except i dont really care to be that attached anymore cause ik even through readings ur beloved idols will still be different to how u want them to be so at least u arent promoting a false obsession and some are even sexualising them in other blogs and im just like well im glad thats not me... ppl who really do such readings i think normalise the agencies treatment of the idol and even my bias seems to also be overly fantasised about and it weirds me out too much now i dont even care if they show abs anymore. sorry im not that weakly desperate for them. yet its every other performance or their social media postll have them naked in some form. ik its just for the clicks and i think some idols do get fed up of it themselves, maybe thats the feeling felix was trying to demonstrate that people see him that way :/ it just sucks cause u know ppl will misread a reading or take it as literal or fact or the reader may want a certain narrative for said idol

even though i do think theres other things going on with idols that ur only just touching on and theyre already sexualised by the agency enough as it is and ppl be out there asking if they would do certain suggestive / crude things and yh i mean they can do what they want on their blogs but at the end of the day it seems idols really are toys for peoples sexual desires. i also dont know whether people actually get sort of prediction based information from whoever or whatever spiritual thing but people be out there really saying some gross stuff. i give their blogs a chance and they seem ok at first then take it way too far and even defend their obsession like its really not healthy at all. can u (not u specifically but generally) predict through tarot or are some blogs fibbing? is it possible to even tell a specific desire an idol may or may not have through a simple reading? cause i cant tell if i should take a lot of these blogs too seriously or give them a free pass to be weird and gross about it. anyone can write a blog post about oh yh somethings going on with such and such an idol and im like u dont say, shock, horror. i mean they always going to be surrounded by drama gossipers and lies being spread about them. its what goes on in 90% of their environment sadly.

sorry for my ramble rant but yeah i do think tarot readers need to eventually draw the line and have some better respect for idols they not for their own desires and fantasies. also whoever they future spouse is is going to need some prayers if they do get with some of the idols lmao

I absolutely love this response. And I agree with all you said. After reading these idols I have kind of detached myself from what I get and what the idol shows. I for do not 100 percent believe my own readings and I do not take anything I get to heart. I go with whatever comes to me, but I can never fully grasp the full story. I could interpret things worse than what it actually is, I think an anon mentioned this, or it could be worse, and I don't pick up on it.

None of us are meant to know the full story. This is just insight to their story, but I can't keep digging for answers. One, I don't care enough, too impatient to keep digging, also I get already invasive stuff as it is. I always ask the energy/higher self and guides to give me what they want to share and I go with what I get and if they don't share it, that's it, they don't want to share. I don't like prying more. I just like to give them space to speak on what they want.

I don't mind asking the invasive questions, because I know if the idol doesn't want to answer, which has happened, they don't, but most have no problem answering.

I don't think anyone should take readings too seriously. I don't take my own. Yes, you can think of it in the back of your mind and gain some insight about these idols through Tarot or Psychic reading, but if I see no proof of anything. I am not going to worry and stress about it. At the end of the day. There is nothing we can do anyway, so my energy is that it is not my problem. I adore these idols as performers, but I don't know them. I say we should worry about are community (family and friends). We shouldn't be concerned about what these idols are doing. I mean yes, I am sad for these idol, but I send them healing energy and go about my day. I care for them, like I care for all humans here on this Earth. I just like to be a bit of a messenger for them, since they are silenced, and it seems many like to speak on what is going on behind the scenes a bit.

Great insightful message here ❤️

[intotheelliwoods]

Yes! To add: In both Medium Leos and Little Leos timeline the movie events happened, just the addition of the arm loss via Krang in the prison dimension ofc

@mostlyvoid-partiallyturtles

---

For names stuff im just going with Big, Medium, and Little Leo accordingly!

And waaa thank you so much for the feedback! HA drawing all this stuff ahs been such a learning experience for me...

As for the whole, sacrifice ordeal? That will be shown later in the week and I think the scene will speak for itself... sweats

My heart also hurts!!!!

@alltheyearsblog

---

Technically... theres 3 and a half aus aha!? (at least in my head...) Since yeah ofc theres the original idea I had for an ending, and the current working AU. The other one and a half both involve some form of Big Leo also being alive and well in the current time! Which I can talk about how those came about later in the week I believe?!

As for the og Leos, if im feeling the need to draw them/I am motivated enough then yeah you can still spot them! Though if you mean in the main comic.. we will see? Depends how even more insane I get later down the road whoops

@amazing-captain-castiel

---

Yes! He knew he was going to break apart in some form, but that does not mean he would know what it would look like. The times Mikey did open a portal he was never there for them, and so never got to see what it looked like!

He also never got to feel it either... so partially recoil from pain/shock

I think deep deep down though, maybe he wanted to go somewhere else from their current situation. When Raph and Don helped Mikey make the portal to save Leo it was easy to push through the pain through their one goal, save Leo. With Medium Leo here, who is trying to even save anymore, himself? I think he lost a bit of his self worth a while ago...

As for Big Leos spirit, its... sorta in another place at the moment aha, a bit unreachable...

@wraenata

---

🥺 and Medium Leo will try his damn hardest to be what Big Leo was for him... thanks for the support ough 👍drawing all this has been such a trip for me pfft

@wrenthefrog

---

Looks at the peepaw multiverse.... ha thats going to take some explaining isnt it

@overthinkingintrovert-blue

---

<3 I got possessed back in april and decided to feel brave starting this summer oops

[theguardianace]

AROACE POLYSHO ???? SPILL SPILL SPILL TWLL ME ALL ABOUT IT PLEASE

AROACE POLYSHOW AROACE POLYSHOW THE GREATEST THING OF ALL TIME.

things of note that i think are fun.... nene and rui had major questioning phases pre-wxs about being aroace. i'd imagine nene being really confused why everyone around her seemed so interested in dating and romance and the whole amatanormative feel of dramatic media and such. it's in so many plays, and people get in so many shipping wars/draw suggestive art for games. it's hard to ignore as a theater kid and gamer. she didn't get it and felt isolated. she came across the term aroace online but had a hard time accepting that she might be that, but eventually silently embraced it. rui on the other hand knew full well he was not like other people. he's not the kind of guy who would pick and choose a crush that isn't there. being aroace and a middle/high schooler made him feel even more lonely and alienated from his peers. he agknowledged the fact he was aroace pretty easily, but it took him a lot longer to accept that isn't a bad thing at all.

emu and tsukasa had NO clue they were aroace. did not occur to them at all. emu had to be told it was a thing and she went "huh? OHHH THATS ME !!!! :D". skipped teh entire questioning/am i broken stage and went right to "hehehehehehe". (though other people don't believe her that often. emu is so full of love. how could someone like her not fall in love with other people? she's too young. she hasn't met the right person yet. it's just a phase. her siblings started off as ignorantly aphobic, but then realized the fault of their ways and learned.). my hc for tsukasa is a bit different than other peoples, but i am fully convinced he thought he was bisexual for teh LONGEST time. "guys and girls can both be good looking, so i must be bi! yeah the extent of my feelings is "they're cool" ... what do you mean that's not what a crush is". it was a shocking revelation to him that people actually want to kiss/have sex for real. he's accepted being aroace and actively embraces it, though he still feels connected to teh bi label. he'd like the concept of tertiary attraction and probably label as bi aroace, to honor both.

i like to think that tsukasa accidentally came out first (accidentally meaning he simply forgot to tell them and then was surprised when they were all surprised). emu was like !!!!! omg samsies and nene laughed and came out, too. wxs were the first people rui ever said the words "aromantic asexual" out loud to.

i personally think aroace polyshow never actually labeled themeselves as such, but BOY do tehy act like they're all married. they just care about each other soooooo much. its platonic its queer platonic its romantic its everything all blended together. if its them, they can do anything. with the shared knowledge of being aroace, they all also sort of feel more comfortable being openly affectionate, yknow? there's no risk of misinterpretation of intent- they love each other. they love each other in a way that they cannot describe and most people wouldn't understand. they are tied by their love of shows and their love of each other. emu is really physically affectionate and they all feel safe cuddling with her. rui lightheartedly flirts and half the time i dont think he even realizes he's doing it, the other half he's just trying to be silly. nene excels in the silent acts of love, making sure the stage is clean and there's always a few snacks backstage and honeslty just being there for everyone.

they have game night/sleepover every once in a while, usually during planning stages of shows. there's also a high likelyhood one goes to another's house at least once a week for some reason.

oh also they never do romance plays ever. it was a revelation tehy only came to after coming out. it just... never occured to them to do one. and now that they all know none of them can fall in love they actively try and avoid it. they've re-written fables to be about the power of friendship, or re-imagined the tale to the point romance wouldn't even be on anyone's mind. it's not a theme the audience ever picks up on, but at the same time they do? they don't realize the pattern but nobody ever comes out of a show with that interpretation. their shows are a hit every time, too. ("story" doesn't mean "romance", after all).

wonderlands x showtime isn't a romance. it's a love story.