#i feel like i may have talked about some of these before but i'm not sure

[barbwritesstuff]

I went to a couple of writing workshops on the weekend and one of the authors speaking had some very prescriptive things to say about writing.

Things such as:

"If you don't use the hero's journey structure your writing is ugly."

"There can only be one protagonist. If someone tells me they have multiple protagonists in their story, they fundamentally don't understand the craft of writing."

"Readers have to empathise with the main character. Being relatable is the most important trait for a main character to have."

"Action comes before dialogue."

"Our bodies mimic the breathing patterns in punctuation."

"Stories have to have a satisfying ending, or they're not good stories. Unsatisfying endings are a modern invention which has harmed book sales."

And. Look. I know I'm not a big, famous flash-bang author or anything.

But some of these things are just outright false. I also really feel like this sort of attitude is (at best) snobby, and (at worse) shitty.

It's also not a very new attitude. Since the dawn of humanity, humans have been saying things like: "Stories are only good if XYZ."

And so, I just wanted to get online and say one thing:

"Aviate. Navigate. Communicate."

Those are the actions pilots are meant to do in an emergency. It's very important that they do them, in that order, because if they don't, there is a higher probability of disaster.

Like... crashing to the ground in a flaming ball of death level of disaster.

Writers (and I cannot stress this enough) are not pilots.

If we break rules, no one dies.

Sometimes, when we break rules, wonderful things happen.

So—while I think it's hugely useful to learn about story structure, craft, etc—coming at an art with absolute rules like this, is silly.

We're not pilots. Lives are not on the line. We can (and should) be creative and have fun. And if it doesn't work out? Oh well. That's fine. That's how we learn and grow as writers.

Also, what works for one writer may not work for another, and that's fine. Commerical success isn't everything... and there are actually plenty of very commercially successful books and stories that break these 'absolute' rules this author talked about.

So...

Yeah.

That's my lukewarm take.

Write and have fun. Don't worry about this sort of snobby silliness.

P.S I did actually enjoy the workshop and I think overall this author had good takes. I think there were just some very silly takes sprinkled in and I've been ruminating on them for a couple of days.

[vickyvicarious]

Today's entry is full of Lucy/Jonathan parallels. It's so many throughout... I can't possibly quote every single one, but here are a few big things.

I write this and leave it to be seen, so that no one may by any chance get into trouble through me. This is an exact record of what took place to-night. I feel I am dying of weakness, and have barely strength to write, but it must be done if I die in the doing.

vs

If this book should ever reach Mina before I do, let it bring my good-bye. (5 May)

+

These may be the last words I ever write in this diary. I slept till just before the dawn, and when I woke threw myself on my knees, for I determined that if Death came he should find me ready. (30 July)

Lucy is writing with the specific intent of keeping anyone else from getting into trouble through her - in other words, so none of the maids or her doctors or whoever will be blamed for her murder if she dies before the night is through. The first quote from Jonathan is not really a direct match to this sentiment, of course. But while I couldn't remember a perfect quote to compare, we see hints throughout his journal that Jonathan is writing in the hopes that someone else might someday see it. Perhaps Mina, perhaps some other guest to the castle... he hopes that the explanation of what happened to him, and detailing of what Dracula is, will prove useful. Perhaps it will help someone else protect themself - just like Lucy hopes here. (This is of course not his only reason for writing. Another major reason why is how it helps to keep him sane and helps him plan escapes. Still, it is one of his reasons.) And certainly, the sentiment that the record is important to keep even at risk to oneself, is a shared link between them. Both of them also show a determination to face their death directly.

This line is also an echo of the various times Jonathan (and, more recently, Jack) experienced something seemingly impossibly horrific, and made a big point that they were writing things down exactly as they happened.

The time did not seem long, but very, very awful, till I recovered consciousness again. Somewhere near, a passing bell was tolling; the dogs all round the neighbourhood were howling; and in our shrubbery, seemingly just outside, a nightingale was singing.

vs

Something made me start up, a low, piteous howling of dogs somewhere far below in the valley, which was hidden from my sight. Louder it seemed to ring in my ears, and the floating motes of dust to take new shapes to the sound as they danced in the moonlight. I felt myself struggling to awake to some call of my instincts; nay, my very soul was struggling, and my half-remembered sensibilities were striving to answer the call. I was becoming hypnotised! (24 June)

Lucy awakens after the first attack of the night to the sound of dogs howling (amongst other things). Jonathan too has been saved from a trance by this noise, though in his case it was a close call. Dracula certainly seems to have successfully hypnotized her and most likely did drink from her between his arrival in the room (the dust swirling in) and the maids'.

What am I to do? what am I to do? I am back in the room with mother. I cannot leave her, and I am alone, save for the sleeping servants, whom some one has drugged. Alone with the dead! I dare not go out, for I can hear the low howl of the wolf through the broken window.

vs

I fear I am myself the only living soul within the place. (8 May)

+

What shall I do? what can I do? How can I escape from this dreadful thing of night and gloom and fear? (24 June)

+

Suddenly it struck me that this might be the moment and means of my doom; I was to be given to the wolves, and at my own instigation. There was a diabolical wickedness in the idea great enough for the Count, and as a last chance I cried out:— "Shut the door; I shall wait till morning!" and covered my face with my hands to hide my tears of bitter disappointment. (29 June)

These are only a few of the lines that Lucy's quote reminds me of. This is the big one, there's so much to connect in it.

Like Jonathan, Lucy is alone with the dead. Dracula has sabotaged her only chance of reaching out to other people for aid (drugged maids = workers in the yard, people who saw Dracula dressed as Jonathan). She also feels duty-bound to stay by her mother's side, in a way which reminds me of Jonathan's feeling of obligation towards Mr. Hawkins (all the more as Mina's letter today emphasizes how familial their relationship has become). Like Jonathan, Lucy cannot see any options to escape from the living nightmare she is experiencing.

Like Jonathan, Lucy cannot leave because if she does, she fears a wolf will get her. (Much like Jonathan, she is earlier in her memorandum able to distinguish a wolf howl from a dog's, despite never hearing one before.) Even though she does not really expect to live through the night, she cannot make the choice to go out and face almost certain death. She's even recently seen the wolf kill a mother, to really drive the comparison with Jonathan's experiences home. (A contrast between the two is, of course, the mother he saw die was trying to rescue/avenge her dead child, but was too late. Mrs. Westenra seeks comfort from her daughter tonight, and as she dies unwittingly steals away Lucy's protection (garlic), thus holding true to her role of accidentally endangering her further.)

The air seems full of specks, floating and circling in the draught from the window, and the lights burn blue and dim. What am I to do? God shield me from harm this night! I shall hide this paper in my breast, where they shall find it when they come to lay me out. My dear mother gone! It is time that I go too. Good-bye, dear Arthur, if I should not survive this night. God keep you, dear, and God help me!

vs

Then I began to notice that there were some quaint little specks floating in the rays of the moonlight. They were like the tiniest grains of dust, and they whirled round and gathered in clusters in a nebulous sort of way. (24 June)

+

God help me in my task! Good-bye, Mina, if I fail; good-bye, my faithful friend and second father; good-bye, all, and last of all Mina! (25 June)

(I've run out of new colors and am recycling. These aren't meant to match to the above instances of these colors.)

Like Jonathan described his experience being hypnotized by the vampire ladies, Lucy too sees Dracula's form as circling specks (twice, in fact, the other quote being above). The lights going blue and dim are also reminiscent of the various times Jonathan describes moonlight at the Castle. I especially think of just before he meets the vampire women, when he muses about the powers that modernity cannot defeat, and his modern lighting is contrasted to the moonlit room. Here, Lucy's modern lighting is going out as the supernatural invades her bedroom.

Lucy bids her final farewells to her mother and her fiance. In the quote I gave, Jonathan does the same for his father figure and his fiancee. Both of them invoke God for help. Both of them end their entries with this thinking of the one they love most. Jonathan of course does this multiple times, but I'm only quoting this one instance as it feels like the closest match overall.

And once again, we also see multiple comparisons beyond what I directly quoted. Lucy reiterates her expectation of death as in the quote at the top, and even chooses to hide her memorandum in her clothes, much as Jonathan hid his diary on his person at all times. (The difference being, he wanted to hide it from Dracula; she wants to ensure hers is seen by someone.)

[hibiscusseaart]

huge ass post with MadaTobi Babies

its finally done, its almost 1 am, I started at 7 pm

OK SO HERE THEY ARE

So a little lore and then I'm gonna introduce them.

As you may remember from my earlier post, Tobirama (they married when he was 19) after the marriage, decided to create a child to tie Madara to him and the village stronger just in case Madara would try to leave the village. He couldn't destroy the village if there's his kid running around, right?

So Tobirama started learning biology pretty early in their marriage + Itama (@oh-no-its-bird 's one) helped a lot too. Mito helped with the seals to make an incubator. Tobirama didn't want a surrogate mother just because he was afraid that Madara would get attached to the mother of his children and he didn’t want that (plus he's jealous but doesn't realise it 🤭).

He created some sort of very real transformation jutsu that would trick his body to think that he has ovaries and he'd get the eggs that way! But he couldn't keep uterus and ect for 9 months, plus this jutsu is HARD to keep on for very long periods of time. It's easier to make a few organs from chakra that could produce real eggs than a whole new system. Plus Tobirama really didn't want to get pregnant and he wasn't sure he wouldn't fuck up his own body. Tobirama, with as gray morale as his, could just scrap failed embryo and start anew. He can't do that with his own body.

Anyway, incubator it is!

At first he did all of that in secret, stealing Madara's sperm (that's... a thing now) for his first experiments while they had sex. (Tobirama fucking Madara real hard that he’d pass out after and then take samples) ANYWAY

So he announced about his plans when the first stable and pretty healthy embryo was ready.

The first baby, Motoko! The melanin quee. She got all of it. Nothing left for her brother or sister. Ofc she's not THAT dark skinned, but she is for an Uchiha who are mostly white as a paper in canon.

(Tobirama is 21 for reference)

Her name literally means "Experiment seed first". Tobirama named this project this way for secrecy if someone would overhear his talks with Itama and Mito. It’d be Uchiha clan head’s child so hush-hush.

The name meanings + kanji! Hope I got them right, I have no japanese knowledge

oh and there is flirting with past and time in general in this name so it might be Tobirama reminiscing his first timeline. Like Motoko didn't even EXIST before.

So when he presented the embryo to Madara and Hashirama, they were ecstatic of course.

Madara almost cried. Hashirama became a river of tears.

Madara never really hoped for his own children since he married Tobirama cuz, well, they're both men. Doesn't really work that way. But Tobirama made it work and Madara is in love all over again.

Madara refuses to leave their future baby for a long time, just looking at them in the incubator. But the baby doesn’t need much there so Tobirama makes him leave and live a life while they’re waiting when the kid is ready.

Oh and Madara was SO against the name that basically means “experiment seed 1”. But when Tobirama asked if he got smth better, he ran away to his compound and tried to find the PERFECT names. He got lost in so many variations and never really decided. So when the kid was “born” (Tobirama just… took her out of the incubator*) and medics checked her, Madara took her in his hands, started crying and while he was having “A moment” Tobirama wrote her name as Motoko, cuz they needed it for administration and Uchiha clan.

*come to think about it, wouldn’t it fuck up a kid a bit? i mean, children develop under pressure of their mother’s organs and they’re in tight position. maybe test tube kids don’t really like to be wrapped in cloth? as i know ppl do that with newborns to imitate feelings like they’re in the womb.

But this name also can be read as “Festival child” so its kinda cute? Madara def told her that that’s exactly what her name means. No seed 1.

Interesting thing, when Tobirama made the baby, he thought he’d make a boy first, a heir. But something went wrong and the kid developed to be a girl. Tobirama was confused why. But technically, the kid is a boy with XY chromosomes but bc of their development and being a genetic experiment something went wrong and they developed as a female (its a real thing btw).

In the long run it didn’t really matter except that Motoko can’t have her own kids bc of all hormonal weirdness. And I don’t think that Tobirama would figure all of that out. He’d think he made some mistake when choosing gender, but kid was born healthy after all. Ofc when they found out that Motoko can’t have kids Tobirama will blame himself, that he ruined his daughter’s life. But she’s would be ok, she had her little siblings growing up and other clan kids so she’s done babysitting.

Okay for her personality! I think she’s kinda like Shisui? Very happy kid, spoiled rotten by her uncles (Hashirama and Izuna compete who is THE BEST uncle) and Tou-san (Madara). Btw Tobirama refuses to be called Kaa-san or any motherly terms. He’s barely holding a kunai in his pockets when Madara calls him wife.

But she’s also very Uchiha with temper and protectiveness. She was trained to be very much Uchiha cuz she’s the future clan head so her jutsu’s are strongly fire natured. Oh and her secondary nature is eath! She took it from the Senju side :)

Good sensor, but not as strong as her other siblings. Have really good chakra reserves and vicious on the battlefield.

Surprisingly looks really like Madara and Izuna’s mom. Her face is all that. Has soft dark hair and soft features. Considered to be very beautiful among Uchihas.

Oh and as you can see, I wrote that she has the Mangekyo. She got it when she was around 14. She was already really strong and cuz of her family, she got cocky. So, you ask me, who died? I think it’d be her female teammate (maybe from Hatake clan? idk I take suggestions) who she was in love with.

So yeah, she got a reality check. Because she got Mangekyo, Tobirama didn’t want her baby to lose her sight, so he improved his own seals that helped him with his albinism. Seals improve his sight and protect from the sun. So he drew Motoko tattoos on her face, like his. Years later it’d be a new feature of the main line.

But before that, when Motoko is 12 and Tobirama is 29, after 8 years of research (and possibly sealing/killing Black Zetsu in the meantime) he decided to try to make another kid. He still wanted a boy.

And he was successful. Meet Akemori! The Music King

The name was suggested by Hashirama. It means “red forest”. Red eyes, plus he sensed that the kid has a bit of mokuton!

But on the downside, Akemori was born an albino. Tobirama himself was really lucky, cuz he had a strong health and I hc that he still has healing abilities, but not as strong as Hashirama’s. But it still helped him in his childhood.

Not for Akemori tho. He was a sickly child, almost blind and burned on the sun easily. Tobirama had to put seals on him when he was about 3 years old. But even then his eyesight was still poor. Seals can’t fix everything.

Tobirama, once again, feels guilty that he didn’t notice any mistakes when he was creating the child.

And being born almost blind in Uchiha clan of all people wasn’t really nice. Though he is still clan head’s child and has a whole bunch of very powerful adults to protect him. Plus his older sister who loves him very much and wants to protect him from any harm.

But because of health issues Akemori was never really trained in shinobi arts. Well, he was trained (his fathers are literally… them) just that he could protect himself, but no one expected him to go on missions or even become a shinobi at all. Uchiha elders treated him as a potential political marriage pawn (even though Madara and Tobirama would never let them do that). Akemori caught on that and never had the motivation to become a shinobi at all. He was offended and said that he’d NEVER become a shinobi.

Madara was a little mad at that, cuz they’re SHINOBI clan, what the hell. But he shut up the second Tobirama sent him The Look. Tobirama was ok with Akemori’s wishes, like his twin and himself are shinobi by necessity, but they finds more joy in research.

Akemori was trained in Mokuton by Hashirama of course, even though Senju elders bitched about him selling clan secrets to Uchiha. But Hokage does what he wants.

Akemori’s mokuton isn’t as strong as Hashirama’s, plus he never really wanted to fight. But he was good with plants so he joined Itama-oji in his research a lot! Especially since Hashirama is busy with Hokage stuff, Itama was delighted to get a new helper.

Akemori is also a really good sensor because, like Tobirama, he had to compensate his bad eyesight. Basically, Akemori is a very Tobirama’s kid.

Surprisingly, he awakened the Sharingan! He was 6 and some foreign ninja (prob Kumo) thought it’d be cool to steal a kid with the Sharingan. Because of his naturally red eyes Akemori got stolen. Ofc when Tobirama felt his kid out of Konoha bonds, he sounded the alarm in the whole Uchiha clan to check on their kids whereabouts and was first to chase the kidnappers.

Kumo nin were killed by a very mad Tobirama and bc of the stress Akemori awakened the Sharingan. It wasn’t much of a use for him, since he’s not a shinobi. But at least Uchihas acknowledge him as a fellow Uchiha and not just Tobirama’s carbon copy.

(btw noone outside immediate family actually KNOWS where the kids coming from. They don't see any pregnant women in the main line house or anyone in the clan with the same time who gave birth these days. Tobirama himself or god forbid Madara aren't ever seen pregnant. Where the fuck kids are coming from? Do they just spawn in the house or what)

(they basically do spawn)

Sharingan helps Akemori to actually see! At least he could see something and could read. But stll, its not really strong, cuz not trained enough.

Basically Akemori is a perfect mix between Senju and Uchiha with Sharingan and Mokuton, but he was nerfed by albinism.

Being almost blind boy who can navigate only with his sensing, doesn’t gives him much hobbies. Ofc he helps Itama and he studies plants and medicine a lot with him, but he still needs a hobby. Books don’t work for him, any type of handicrafts too cuz he can’t just use Sharingan all the time, his head hurts and sometimes he doesn't want to remember a whole book perfectly. He’s also not very interested in training as a hobby.

So in his tweens while Itama and he were traveling (with Uchiha escort (prob Motoko) just in case) to the near town for some medicine and plants, he noticed (heard) a group of musicians and he fell in love.

Itama immediately bought him an instrument (maybe Biwa?).

And now the second son of Uchiha Madara became a musician! Isn’t it fun. Elders are furious.

Madara was baffled but “You do you, son. When you learn, show us? Oh and maybe you can copy someone else’s playing, but be discreet. They may not like that you’d try to copy their music. Shinobi don’t really like when we copy their jutsus too”

With age he learned to play several instruments (I take suggestions on which ones). Some people even thought that he’s trained to become geisha (he's not, he's just a pretty boy who plays music for fun).

When he grow old enough, Itama started to give him weed for inspiration and to relax. Akemori is prone to quiet anxiety attacks after he was kidnapped.

Okay, the final kid. She was born 4 years later after Akemori.

Nari! The pout queen

Madara finally got to name his kid. Her name means “Calm, harmonic village”. Yeah he decided to name his kid after a village. It's still better than Konohamaru

And she’s the final kid, because Tobirama finally got it and produced a “normal” healthy kid. Plus he's not sure how many kids (3) and students (another 4 and Kagami) he can actually handle.

She has very Uchiha coloring, but Tobirama’s facial features. She also inherited his stare.

She’s the baby of the family, but she grew up slightly strict and serious cuz she stayed a lot with Tobirama, cuz he decided he won’t spend another maternity leave out of the Tower. The first two times were a disaster when he came back.

Tobirama left on maternity leaves just cuz he needed to monitor his kids health, especially Akemori’s. Idk about Konoha maternity leaves, but they should be really short, since well shinobi are needed all year long and they can’t wait for mother-shinobi to spend a whole year on that. Though on the other side, mothers need time to recover or they won’t be able to perform good on their missions (plus they probably have a milk smell lol). Who knows, maybe Tobirama was the one who drafted a law about at least one year maternity leave. He got very popular among kunoichi (can you believe that I just remembered that this word exists)

Nari is really like Izuna, but got her temper under control. Maybe think of teen Kakashi but without dead fathers and angst. But also brat.

Her chakra is water nature and she has 0 affinity with fire. Still she did produce great fireball as their traditions dictated, even though it took her many trials and errors. After that she decided that she hates traditions like that. Got really rebellious in her teens, about 13 and even tried to challenge her sister (25) for the clan head position. She didn’t win ofc and was bitter about it.

Also because her sister and brother both have seals, she always dreamed of the same, cuz as a baby she thought that it’s something special for their family. But Tobirama doesn’t think she needs them cuz her sight is perfect and her skin is pale, but it doesn’t burn like Akemori’s.

It triggered interest for seals in general cuz “FINE if you won’t give me seals, I’ll just make them myself!”

Tobirama was completely okay with it. He always strives to encourage kids when they want to learn something new. So he sicked her at Mito. Though his aunt was quite happy to teach her niece sealing art.

also idk why i write evil near her. she's just a brat. though she has the potential to become Azula ish

And that’s it!

I will write more about them later cuz im tired. I have some other ideas I wanna expand. Like Tobirama introducing his pups to his Hatake aunt (did i tell you that i LOVE Hatakes?),

Oh and fun little sketches close ups for a treat

i love this Hashirama with the kids, ugh he's so father

if you have any questions you can send them to my ask box!

[olsenmyolsen]

Hey!!! So im finally gonna send a request from that prompt list lol.

May i please request. absentmindedly playing with their hair at all times

I dont mind either elizabeth or wanda, but can I ask that yn has a buzz cut on her sides back back of her head. And as she just had it redone yn makes a comment about her feeling like a sheared sheep lol

Just got my hair redone and I always say that after touching the back. I just wish I had someone who would stroke my hair also;_; id melt if wanda/elizabeth did.

If that's not too much trouble ;_; please and thank you

A Sheared Sheep

maroon master list . dark master list . request marvel master list . short n’ sweet master list

No Powers AU - (Female Reader X Wanda Maximoff)

Summary: You got a haircut without telling your girlfriend, Wanda Maximoff.

Word Count: 1.3K

Content: Girlfriend Wanda Maximoff, Meet-Cute, Baking, Haircuts, Fluff

You had met Wanda Maximoff only a few months prior. It was a classic meet-cute moment.

A lapse in thinking had led your iced latte to go from your hand to her shirt. An exchange of apologies, small talk, quick glances, some light flirting, and a dinner to make up for it all led to the two of you dating.

It's been bliss and wonderful. You two have only grown stronger and more comfortable. Sharing details about your lives and what you want for the future.

Wanda was very upfront in talking about kids, and she said she didn't care how it happened but that this was something she wanted. That made you feel better when you pointed out through some laughter that you didn't have the parts to help her in the department.

Wanda shook her head and hugged you tightly before running her fingers through your long hair.

An action that always made you smile.

And yeah, sure, talking about kids a few months into a relationship might seem forward, but within the last year, Wanda had recently called it off with her fiancé. Plus, she was older than you. Not significantly, but enough to where you needed another hand to count the years separating you two.

Anyways, like I was saying.

What you and Wanda have is clearly special. And you know she loves you for you. Not a whole lot could change that as of right now.

Well, that's what you keep telling yourself as you close your eyes in the hairdresser's chair. "We really don't have to do it Y/n." Your favorite hairdresser and good friend Natasha pointed out for the hundredth time.

You see, every once in a while, once your hair grows past the point of driving you crazy, you usually just buzz it. Well, at least most of it. Normally, Natasha styles it or just trims one side. Today, the two of you were talking about buzzing the sides and back of your head, but then Wanda popped into your mind and stopped everything.

No, she didn't telepathically communicate with you. As cool as that sounds.

No, the thought of her popped into your mind.

She has only ever known you with your long hair. Would she even like you if you didn't look like... like you?

You shook your head and told yourself that, of course, she would still like you. Hell, she loves you!

Thus, the thought cycle repeats.

"Y/n, why don't you just tell her you want to get it done?" Natasha asks as she watches you look over yourself in the mirror. "Because I want it to be a surprise." You answer back with conviction. "Okay, so then why aren't we doing it?" Natasha asks another question, making you close your mouth.

You sigh.

And after a few moments, you tell Natasha to start cutting.

As your hair fell to the tile floor, your stomach began doing flips and tangling itself up, waiting to be in front of Wanda.

"Wanda?" You called out into her condo as you closed the front door behind you. "I'm in the kitchen!" Wanda yelled. You smiled at her voice and kicked off your shoes by the front door before making your way through her space.

It was just as soft and cozy as she was.

The smell of cinnamon and apple pie filled your nose as you walked closer and closer to her green-tiled kitchen. That backsplash was the first thing she did to make this place her own.

You loved the color.

"Smells amazing!" You said as you appeared around the corner of the kitchen as Wanda pulled out a second pie and set it on a stand to cool.

Wanda briefly glanced your way with a big smile. "Thank you!" She turned back and turned off the oven as she started moving around to put some dirty dishes into the sink. "I made two pies. One for us and the other for Agatha. I think she and Ralph are having some trouble, so I thought I would bake her a pie, too." You leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen with a warm smile, watching as your girlfriend.

She really was beautiful inside and out.

"It took me forever to find the specific brand of apples I wanted. You know, I didn't want it to be too sweet or sour, and then-" Wanda shook her head after wiping her counter down. She let go of the rag and chuckled. "Sorry." She glanced towards you again.

Still not noticing the WestView Witches baseball cap you're wearing to cover up your haircut.

"I'm rambling." Wanda brushes her apron and quickly unties it before fast walking to you with a spring in her step. She quickly kisses your lips and pulls away as she hangs up the apron. "How was your day?!" She looks towards you, and then that's when you see her notice in her eyes. Her mouth goes from a smile to a shocked look. She takes a step back and looks over your face before she reaches out and gently takes your chin, moving your face from side to side. "Y/n- I- when-" She can't form a sentence as she lifts her hand to the baseball cap. "Can I?" She asks after a beat.

You nod, afraid saying anything will spook her.

Slowly, Wanda grabs the end of the cap and lifts it off your head. You hear her breath hitch as she looks over your very short hair. Her fingers slowly run through your hair before she brings them down along the backside of your skull, where the buzz is prominent, making you shiver slightly at the contact of her nails brushing you.

Wanda notices as her eyes move to meet yours. "Does that hurt?" She asks carefully. You laugh through your nose and shake your head. "It feels good. Really great, actually." You say in the same tone as her. Wanda nods, glad that she isn't hurting you.

She brings her hand back up and runs through it again with more pressure. "How does that feel?" Wanda asks.

"Good. Touching the back is the best part." You say before making a joke. "I feel like sheared sheep." Wanda can't help but smile and laugh quietly before she removes her hand and brings it down to yours. Holding you. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted it to be a surprise." You say, looking to Wanda, who looks to you, waiting for more. "It's just something I've always done. Do you hate it?" You then question, and just as quick as you ask, Wanda shakes her head, giving you an answer. "I don't hate it. I just wish I would've known." She squeezes your hand.

You nod.

After a few seconds, Wanda grips your hand. "How about while we let the pies cool, we can go sit and relax," Wanda says, making you nod and following her to the living room, sitting next to her on the couch in your usual spots.

Wanda flips through some channels before coming across a marathon of her favorite sitcom.

The two of you relax and cuddle into one another. Letting the surprise of your haircut fall into the back of everyone's mind.

After an episode of the show, you feel Wanda's hand move from scratching your back to up your neck and through the back of your head, stroking your buzz. You smile and let out a satisfied sigh that makes Wanda look over at you with her own smile. "I like it." She states making you feel warm and happy with your choice.

You turn to her. "I'm glad." Wanda leans into you and kisses you as her fingers scratch your head. "My little sheep." She jokes as you two part, making you roll your eyes. Playfully.

All in all, that joke wasn't as bad as when you brought Agatha her pie, and she turned to Wanda and said: "So how many Y/n's do you have to count in your sleep to you fall asleep?"

dividers by @/benkeibear

[velvetvexations]

I feel like a lot of the trans women saying that masculinity/manhood is always rewarded in everyone because patriarchy often forget that the opposite is true, actually, for people who are seen as women/put in the "woman" category.

Because yes, trans women are usually forced into manhood and "rewarded" for being men, and punished for being women. But that's not because manhood is universally rewarded in everyone, but because partriarchy sees having been born with a penis as "man".

It also sees being born with a vagina as "woman", and every deviation from that is *also* punished.

Yes, people who are seen as women/girls may have more freedom in expression of gender (depending on where they are from. I hate when ppl act like people afab everywhere can just dress like men without punishment. There are so many countries with laws on what "women" (and those treated as women because of their agab) can wear, and if anyone believes for one second that breaking these laws is REWARDED in any way, they're so fucking deep in their own head and need to talk to someone from these countries) but that freedom was fought for by feminists! Feminists have fought to be simply just allowed to wear pants. It's ridiculous to look at how it is now (in the western world) and make conclusions on that without looking at *why* it is that way now and how it was before.

And people are usually expected to grow out of their tomboy-"phase" by the time they reach their late teens, or early twenties at latest, and become a feminine woman, wife, and mother. If you don't do that, your masculinity gets punished.

And the masculinity of people afab is also only (begrudgingly) accepted (in SOME places in the world) as long as they're still visible as women or girls and their masculinity is hot and serves cishet men. As soon as they step "too far" out of these roles (by being non-binary or men, or being "ugly", fat, or anything that would make them "undesirable"), their masculinity gets punished. Horribly.

It's really infuriating when (trans)radfem trans women try to act like their experiences are universal and whenever someone says something that disagrees with them, they must be lying or "delusional" (yay, ableism! so progressive /s) for thinking that they were, in fact, punished for their masculinity or manhood...

Sorry for unloading this on you, didn't know where else to put it. And thank you so much for listening.

I think a major issue here is that no matter how much we try to reason things out and work through why they act the way they do, radical feminism, trans or cis, ultimately comes down, at some point, to a deliberate decision to prioritize egocentrism and their own desires over seeing other people as real, actual people - not even other transfems, who they just sexualize and try to control, or call a TERF if they can't. And it's hard to reason with that.

Like, they have to know on some level that they hyperinflate trans women in particular being "socially murdered"* to use as social capital and terrorize younger** transfems into isolating themselves. Maybe a very long time ago for some of them it came from the distress they felt from the legitimately immense danger transfems face in a variety of contexts, but they've shot far beyond that now and just don't really care. They've built a cage of unreality around themselves that makes me feel like I'm talking to aliens.

Like the other day, I was talking to one who insisted that the tee-em-ees will not show up for me. Like, I said they did, and she said they won't, and I was like, but they DO! They have! Always! I've seen it with my own eyes, directly for me specifically! But it was just "who hurt you," "let yourself be angry," "don't settle for just scraps," "they won't treat you better if you throw yourself at their feet," "social murder," and it's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? WAS THIS A DREAM YOU HAD?

And what about the deliberately cruel fuckery, the constant derision of the most petty things like forcemasc? What the fuck do they get out of wrongly asserting that women are never punished for masculinity and never have a problem with being viewed as masculine, like why are they doing that, what is their goal? Because it seems like it's literally just "mock and invalidate the sexual interests of others and deem it an inferior copy of our thing."

What do they get out of misgendering cis and trans men for forcefem funsies and telling them to suck it up? They don't really believe that their forcefem joke is the only thing that might make an egg crack. That's extremely obviously a lie. They're doing it because they want to, because it's their kink, because they don't care about the feelings of other people, and they can use transmisogyny as a convenient defense when people ask them to moderate literally any of their behavior for the comfort of everyone else to literally any extent while demanding everyone else shut up and defer to them on every single topic in every single situation.

And this stuff with D20 and Ophiuchus and the transmasc character being treated better? A lie. Just fully making it up. Inventing it. Fabricating it. For attention.

I've never had one acknowledge it when I've tried to explain that I first learned about all of this from transmasc friends bringing it to me so they could defer to my opinion.

They're determined to stay like this. It sucks.

*truly a phrase that makes me livid to even think about now, they reduce it to about the same level of seriousness as forcefem jokes, every single time it's so thoughtlessly hollow and self-obsessed but you could guess that from it being a fair description of every thought they externalize

**let me make this clear, I'm referring to young adults, I am not accusing anyone of being predatory towards minors nor am I saying the motivations are necessarily sexual anyway, although clearly transradfems don't care about the effect their hyperbole will have on the mental health of minors exposed to it and trained from a young age to never trust anyone, so underage transfems are very much a concern here, but not in the sense that they're being directly and personally abused in any way

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 86)

Uzi was listening to Reida, the woman having enough energy to power a city and then some. But her voice was fading out in favor of her own internal thoughts- or feeling more accurately.

And that was the tingly sensation in her side panel, only getting worse as she continued to sit on Hal and Reida's squishy couch. Her core was pinging relentlessly, even after she'd downed the chilled oil Reida had given her.

She glanced over to where the guy's were talking, for some reason N was blushing heavily, also taking a glance at her, almost like he was nervous.

“You alright girlie?” Whoops, it seemed like Reida noticed her not paying attention, and Uzi jumped slightly, startled by her voice.

“Yeah! Yeah I'm fine. Just… core. You know.” She half-heartedly explained, and Reida gave her a soft smile. “Oh, little babe is pinging? Their about ready then.”

Uzi nodded with a half smile.

“Y-yeah, another month or so, they might actually share a birthday with their dad if we're not careful.” She sucked at small talk normally, but now it was painful. Her body was being too distracting to focus on conversation.

“Oh! How cute! Have you picked out any names yet?” Reida asked, cocking her head to the side and scooting slightly closer to hear her better.

“Ah… kinda? We don't know if their going to be a boy or a girl… but I have a couple that N likes as well…” From the way the older woman was looking at her, she could tell she wanted her to continue, so she sighed, maybe it would be a decent distraction.

“There's, Colt, Winston, and Beanie for boy names. N suggested Beanie, though I'm not sure we'd go with that one, it's a little silly.”

She paused for a moment, before starting again.

“And for girl names we have Ash, Jinx, and Naomi. I'm partial to Naomi, but N likes Jinx better, says it has more ‘Doorman Charm’.”

“Those are all wonderful names! I'm sure you'll pick the one that most suits them!” Reida cheered, and Uzi couldn't help but smile back.

“Thanks. We're trying. We haven't really decided yet, it's been so bu-SY!?” The last syllabull becoming high pitched as she felt a sudden snap in her side panel, it was slightly painful, like something had just given out under pressure.

“Uh, where's your bathroom?” She suddenly asked, an uncomfortable wet feeling beginning to seep from the underneath the panel.

“Right over there dear!” Reida pointed it out, and Uzi scrambled over to it, slamming the door behind her as she let out a strained breath.

With gritted teeth she yanked off her hoodie and tank top, both clinging to her body with how tight they were now, and threw them to the ground, she looked down at her side panel;

She was leaking…

Oil was oozing out from underneath the bottom seam of the panel, dripping a small drop onto the tile floor. With a gasp, she opened it, wincing as the area came in contact with the open air.

The port that allowed her to siphon off oil was openly weaping, the inky black lifeblood seeping out from her gently, she stuck her fingers in the fluid. It was much- much denser then normal, when she rubbed it in her fingers it hung there, stretching between them as she pulled her fingers away from each other.

What the hell?

She probably shouldn't be caught of guard by her body suddenly doing something weird anymore, but somehow she always was, and this was doubly concerning, Tera still needed oil, and if her oil was changing in any way, it may no longer be safe for her to drink.

Not that it didn't already give her the solver… but that wasn't the point.

She sighed, either way, she needed to staunch this flow before she stained everything, thankfully, there was a roll of paper towels sitting on the bathroom counter; and those would have to do.

She came out of the bathroom, re-dressed and her side feeling bulky now that it was stuffed with paper, thankfully, her core had stopped pinging and had fallen still once more, making it a little easier to focus.

She made her way over to N and Tera, tugging on his coat in a way that he knew meant she wanted to leave, he looked down curiously at her, lifting his brow.

[Leave. Talk. Important.] Displayed on her screen breifly, she was trying to resist the urge to rub her side. Ugh, why can't she just be normal!

“Oh, uh. Sorry guys, have to cut this short. Looks like Zi’s not feeling well.” She also hated being the reason they had to leave, N deserved to hang out with other people besides her! But noooo, stupid organic body!

“Say no more, I get it.” Hal smiled, Reida at his side in less then a second. “Take care son.” He slapped his shoulder with a smile.

“You're welcome back any time!” Reida gave them both massive hugs again, squishing them together with an iron grip.

“We'll be back, promise.” Uzi chimed in, she already felt bad enough for cutting this visit short, and she intended to make up for it. But, in another moment, she'd shoved N out the door and they were headed to their apartment for a little… science experiment.

[riding-with-caryl]

I wasn't sure I was going to make this post because I know others have made posts around this topic before. But after sitting with it and giving it some thought, I do feel that I want to go ahead and make it so I can add a perspective that I believe is worth sharing.

This is not about telling others how to feel or trying to control the fandom. I have zero interest in doing that. Feel what you feel, be that positive or negative. Your feelings are valid. It is about asking people to consider not projecting those feelings onto Melissa, painting your feelings as hers, victimising her, and declaring what is best for Melissa.

Melissa is a grown, middle-aged professional, business-savvy woman. She is not some shy, ineffectual, unable to make herself heard or have her voice listened to wallflower.

Melissa herself has clearly expressed and made clear on multiple occasions this year how happy she is. How excited she is about this spinoff, both season 2 and their plans going into season 3. She has talked about the way she and Zabel have worked together from very early on regarding Carol's story, and it is crystal clear from what she said that Mel has played a significant role in her story. She and Norman have played a significant role in their shared stories and the direction of this spinoff. That will include whether canon happens or not. Watch Mel, listen to her. She seems extremely comfortable and relaxed with David Zabel. You don't need to be a body language expert to pick that up because she makes it clear and obvious.

Now, some fans may not like David Zabel. That's your prerogative. Some fans may not like the decisions made when the spinoff airs and the direction it takes. Again, that is a personal thing that only we can decide for ourselves on an individual basis. Our opinions on those things, however different they may be, are all valid. But I believe it's really, really important that we express those feelings as being our own and not project them onto Melissa.

What I've seen a lot from fans these past few years is an expression of wanting Mel to be listened to, to have a voice & be able to express that voice. To not have others speaking for her. We all love Mel and care about her. I know I do, and I believe everyone who is so vocal about those things love and care about her, too. Why else would they try and fight so hard for her?

But here's the thing. (And this is why I feel so strongly about it and feel the need to make this post.) By projecting our own feelings onto Mel, by speaking for her, by saying what needs to happen for things to be best for her, to say the type of showrunner they need to hire to be the right showrunner for Mel, to even presume to know what Mel wants for Carol and Caryl and express that assumption as being her wishes is doing the exact same thing we claim to hate/be against. Namely, taking away Mel's agency by not listening to Mel's voice when she tells us how happy and excited she is about this spinoff, Carol's story, Caryl's story and the general direction it's headed. Not hearing the pure joy whenever she talks, including regarding Zabel. Dismissing & invalidating what she says by claiming she has to say that for whatever reason, claiming that she doesn't really feel that way and then presenting something that Mel didn't say or imply and stating that is what she *really* feels.

Now, I wasn't in TWD fandom in the early seasons. As is normal for me, much to my son's annoyance, I was very late to TWD party. But I have been in the Twitter fandom for several years at this point. My point I'm getting to with this is that I didn't witness in real time Melissa's happiness & demeanor in those early seasons. So I can only speak to the later seasons. But I haven't EVER seen Melissa as happy and excited and just so full of joy as she seems to be now from everything we've seen of her since she came back. I've not seen her appear to be as outwardly comfortable with a showrunner as she seems to be with Zabel, comparing like for like in the public arena of panels and interviews. Obviously, I didn't get to see how she was with Frank Darabont, although I am aware of her pre-TWD working relationship with him on The Mist.

I'm going to end here, but I just want to repeat that this is not in any way me trying to tell people what to think and feel or saying people shouldn't express their concerns and worries. There needs to be space for everyone to be able to do that if they want to. It's simply me expressing and explaining why I think we should be mindful of not projecting our feelings and concerns onto Mel and hopefully giving some food for thought about it. I know I can't force people to stop doing it, that I can only share my opinion, make my case for not doing it, and ask people to consider it, and that is what I am doing with this post.

[eldrith]

omg heyyyyy guys!!! <3 tldr for those of you who aren't the stupid cunt still spewing shit in inboxes: thanks for being kind & supportive and fucking normal. appreciate you beyond words, genuinely. my inbox is always open to you.

but to whom it may concern,

i am so fucking serious when i say that you, anon, need to grow up and start talking to real life humans for once in your life.

this isn't a joke. i'm so so so fucking embarrassed for this imbecile who stalks mutuals and any writer or account with decency in this fandom. you're so embarrassing. you are so clearly out of touch, there is something so clearly wrong in your tiny little pebble brain. it's a miracle you can even type words onto a screen because you're so inconceivably obtuse. (btw, you may need to reel in the extent of your lexicon - if you know what that is - for some of the things im about to say)

not only are you so impossibly, functionally incapable when it comes to media literacy - sorry, literacy at all - but you actively seek out to make incorrect points and its so troublesome... you need to learn context, subtext, implicit bias, nuance - honestly, grab a dictionary and look up what the term 'critical thinking' means too. you are SEVERELY lacking. you are deficient in communication and even worse with inference. i could laugh, and i have before.

despite the fact that this is all fictional - the truth is that we are all just people on here who enjoy writing or maybe enjoy a character from a fictional show that isn't even about romance in the first place.

anyways, i digress: the truth is that every single one of my friends on here has gotten this person's weird fucking obsessive comments in their inbox and as pathetic as this person is, i will say this directly to them: you treat writers or other blogs like some sort of sad therapy and you're being embarrassing.

i'm embarrassed when i see the cringey, out of touch shit you say. you act like a minor. i genuinely think you are one. you act like someone who has never had a personal relationship, let alone conversation. i don't think you've had an emotional connection ever. you act like a fucking baby who just crawled out of a sewer to see light for the first time in your life. it's so fucking sad. i would never care enough to say i feel bad for you, but i feel bad for anyone who has ever interacted with you, myself included.

it's so astounding to have to say this, but: WRITERS AND BLOGGERS ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. WE ARE NOT A HOTLINE FOR YOU. here, you’re so stupid you probably didn’t catch that: WE ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING THERAPISTS. YOU ARE BEING A FUCKING CHILD.

i beg you - i implore you to fucking block me, to block all of my mutuals who you come to whining in their inboxes, because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE what you have to say. pick up a book. talk to a man irl. ask someone how their day is and try to use empathy for once.

anyways, i love every single person on here who takes the time to be kind, or funny, or care. i love all my writers, all of my friends on here, moots or not - sorry to say this but im tired of pretending that i'm nice to childish pathetic cunts. lol

[something-tofightfor]

Liminality: Part 12

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Female Reader

Word Count: 8,426

Rating: R - for violence, injury, blood, fear etc... but there's also feelings.

Summary: In the aftermath of your attack by the Chaos Wolf, you and Frankie have a long - and important - heart to heart.

And when you meet up with all of his friends to recount your story and begin to plan for what will happen next, you realize that what you plan for may not always be possible.

Author’s note:

Happy full moon + partial eclipse. Tonight is the best possible night to release this chapter, and I'm so glad it all lined up.

I'm so excited for you to read this chapter. I have been waiting a long time to get to this point. Thank you for being patient, and for sticking around. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Wanna talk about Wolf Frankie or his friends? My inbox is always open.

Masterlist (for the journal entries and all of the other 'extras' + previous chapters)

You both slept most of the day, and when you woke up later, there were multiple missed messages on his phone from his friends. He answered them while the two of you waited for dinner to be delivered, and it gave you a chance to check your phone, too. 

There was a text from Alec, and with some hesitation, you decided to tell him the truth about what happened. You sent him a voice note outlining the previous night, and by the time you finished it, Frankie’s attention was back on you, his mouth set in a deep frown as he listened. At least I only have to explain once. 

“Can I see the video?” His voice was even, but you heard the unease in it, Frankie’s posture rigid. “See what it looks like?” 

“Yes.” Scooting closer to him on the couch, you opened your camera and then the video, hanging your phone over. “But you need to watch the beginning, too. Before the wolf. It’s important.” 

He pressed play, eyes on the screen and at the sound of your own voice, you looked away, staring out the window. You had no desire to watch your attack, and even though it was the truth, you were somewhat embarrassed at the way you’d bared your feelings to him before the wolf had found you. So I’ll just let him watch and listen. 

You stared out the window until you heard yourself scream for Will, and then you looked back at Frankie, watching his reaction to what he was seeing onscreen. It was subtle, but you saw the way his body stiffened, watched the color of his eyes briefly change again, flashing gold for a few seconds as his nostrils flared, your screaming and the wolf’s growling louder than you thought it would be through your phone’s speakers. 

The sound of a gunshot rang out, and for the second time, you heard the wolf react to getting shot, followed by the sound of Will’s voice and yours, the video ending abruptly and plunging the room into silence. Frankie didn’t speak right away, but when he did, it was to whisper your name and then pull you into his lap, his arms going around you before pulling you tight against his chest.

“You’re so fucking brave, do you know that?” He spoke into your ear, the tip of his nose grazing the shell of it. “Most people would have dropped the phone. Most people would have been too afraid to fight back. Most people would have run screaming when they saw what I go through every month.” Frankie pressed his lips to your cheek. “You didn’t. You weren’t. You stayed. You got the other wolf on video. I don’t even know how to…” His arms tightened around you. “Tell me what you were going to say.”

“What?” It took you by surprise, and you backed away, meeting his gaze. “What do -”

“You got cut off when the wolf showed up.” He swallowed hard, unblinking. “That’s the second time you’ve been in the middle of saying something to me and you got interrupted.” You’re not really doing this now, are you? “D’you want to finish that sentence?” 

“I do, but...” Pressing a hand to his chest, you could feel his heartbeat thrumming beneath your palm, though the rest of him gave almost nothing away. He’s anxious. He’s … why? What does he expect? You stared at him, thinking, and wondered what he saw in your expression. I already told Pope. “I’m scared, Francisco.” You spoke quietly, but didn’t look away. “It -”

“I’ve read up on a lot of shit over the past couple years.” He cleared his throat, the hand on your back moving in a slow circle. “Just to try and see how similar my behavior is to a regular wolf’s. I’ve seen videos of myself while I’m not human, and I remember what happens, so…” He shrugged. “And it’s pretty typical for both.” You nodded, unsure of where he was going. “But the more time that passed, I started noticing that I was doing … different things, even when I’m human.” He frowned, but quickly erased the expression from his face though the furrow in his brow didn���t lessen any. “My sense of smell’s better. My vision’s improved, even though it was damn good before. My reflexes are back to what they were when I first joined the Army, or better, maybe.” 

“That’s good for a pilot.” He nodded, still stroking your back.

“I figured that since it’s always in me, the longer it was there and the more used to it I got, the more … we’d mesh.” His other hand moved down to your hip and squeezed. “I’ve always been protective of my family, but when I came back, the first time I saw Carmen? I’d never felt anything like that before. It was like … I can’t explain it. And I thought that the same would be true for Becca, because even though we had problems, I still … we’d been together forever, y’know? Mother of my kid and everything, but it wasn’t like that. Ever. I didn’t have the same … drive when it came to her as I did for Carmen and even the guys. Losing any of them would have been fucking awful, but my relationship with Becca? It sucked when it ended but I wasn’t…” 

“Frankie, you don’t -”

“No, I do. Let me explain.” He swallowed hard, and then took a deep breath. “I want to protect you. I’ve told you that before, but it …” He closed his eyes, swearing under his breath. “The first night I met you. Do you remember what happened?’

“Yeah. You fucked me in front of your fireplace and we both pretended it was going to just be a casual hookup.” He smiled, his eyes flashing with amusement. 

“I bit you.” His gaze dropped, lingering on your neck for a few seconds before it rose again. “I bit your neck.” He smiled. “Actually, I paid a lot of attention to your neck, and -” Just like he did last night when he turned. Was that the wolf’s interest in me from the very beginning? Fuck. “And I didn’t want to go into the bedroom with you, I -”

“You wanted me on the floor.” Your eyes widened. “And it didn’t feel right until you were behind me, and…” It was all coming together for you, and you were stunned. It shouldn’t have taken this long. I should have realized. “It was a wolf’s instincts from the beginning. And you’re… it’s just… fuck, Frankie.” 

“Some part of me knew from the beginning how I’d… how important you were going to be to me. It doesn’t make sense. None of this does.” He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. “But if it’s the wolf and it’s making everything I already do and feel stronger, then…” He took another breath and let it out, the sound shaky. “I treated you like a mate from the very first night, and you reacted the way that I hoped you would, even if I didn’t realize I was doing it at first.”

“You scented me last night.” Your jaw dropped. “I thought you were trying to hug me, but when you put your paws on me, it was because …” You wanted me to smell like you. Oh, Frankie. 

“I asked you to stay.” His heartbeat had slowed and Frankie’s voice was steady, but you could feel his tension. “Everything else might be the wolf, but that was all -”

“No.” You leaned in, shaking your head. “It’s you, Frankie. The wolf, the man, all of it’s the same thing.” Are you really going to do this? “I don’t have friends. I don’t have people I can count on, except for Alec, and even that’s spotty.” Biting the inside of your lip, you narrowed your eyes. “But ever since I first got here, it felt different.” You’re going to do this. “I’ve never been as scared as I was last night. And yeah, I thought I was going to die for a second, but it was more than that.” 

“You didn’t, though. You did what you needed to do.” He squeezed your hip. “You were perfect.” 

“It’s too soon to say any of this, and I understand that.” You steadied yourself, closing your eyes and taking a breath . “But if I didn’t say it and I never got to, I’d regret it.” He hummed but didn’t interrupt, and so you continued, opening your eyes and meeting his. “I was scared I was going to die last night before I got to tell you I love you. I thought it days ago, but after last night, after seeing you in that clearing, I … I know it.” 

It felt good to say the words. Admitting to the truth was freeing, but Frankie’s silence unnerved you. He wasn’t expecting that. Why would he? It’s been two months. “Repeat that.” He wet his lips and then drew the lower one back and between his teeth. “Please.” 

“I love you, Francisco Morales. And believe it or not, I want to protect you just as much as -”

“The first time we met, when I sat next to you at the bar? I knew it was different.” He shook his head, looking down and then back up. “There was something about you, about the way you smelled, and because it was only a couple days after a full moon, it … there was no way I could miss it.”

“I missed it, though. I just thought you were shit at hiding being attracted to someone.” He laughed quietly, rolling his eyes. “We both tried pretty hard that night to play it cool, didn’t we.” Frankie nodded, the look in his eyes soft. “All I wanted to do that next morning was kiss you.” You looked down, nerves catching up to you as you registered the fact that he still hadn’t replied to the fact that you’d told him you loved him. “I just thought you should know. I -” 

He reached up and used one knuckle beneath your chin to urge you gaze back to his face. “You shouldn’t have stopped yourself the other night in bed.” Oh. really? “I didn’t think it was fair to put any of this shit on you before you saw everything, though, so I didn’t ask you about it.” He steadied himself with one deep breath, nodding as he said your name. “You still feel that way after yesterday? After … you got attacked?”

“Yes.” Your answer was immediate, eyes going wide as you spoke. “That had nothing to do with you, Frankie. Why would it change how I feel about you?”

“Because you know what one of us can do to someone. You’ve seen the way it changes me, and it’s not going to stop. This is my life for as long as I’m living, and if you love me, that means you accept that, and the chance that I might turn on you at some point.” 

“You won’t. If you were going to, you would have yesterday. I trust you.” He still hasn’t said anything back. All he’s done is try to talk me out of feeling this way. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“Yeah.” He nodded, the look in his eyes sad. “It is, especially coming from you. You shouldn’t love me. You shouldn’t love someone like me, especially after you’ve been looking for wolves to -”

You stood abruptly, wincing as you put weight onto your leg - and distance between the two of you. “No, not just any wolves, Frankie. The Chaos wolves. You’re not one of them. You proved that.” You moved further away, your back to him to hide the fact that you were in pain. “And if you’ve been treating me like your mate since the beginning, you obviously would have noticed if I’d had any reservations about that, or about you or about being with you.” 

It hurt - not that he hadn’t immediately told you that he loved you, too, but that you’d bared your feelings to him, and all Frankie had done was question your admission. Especially after how he’s noticed he’s been treating me. Especially with what I thought he felt toward me. You stood in front of the fireplace, crossing your arms over your chest and blinking back tears.

The room was silent, thick with tension and almost uncomfortable, but moments later it was shattered by the ringing of the doorbell. Food’s here. Rubbing at the bridge of your nose, you lowered your head and closed your eyes. I’m not hungry. I should go. “Let me know what I owe you for dinner, Frankie. I think I’m going to go back to my -”

“Please don’t.” You heard the couch springs creak and then a few footsteps as he made his way to where you were, stopping before he got close enough to touch you. “Please don’t leave.” You turned slowly to face him, unsure of what to expect. 

It certainly wasn’t a look of unease on his face, or his lower lip trembling. And it also wasn’t his slumped shoulders or the nervous shuffling of his feet, Frankie shaking his head as he stared at you. “Why? I just bared my goddamn emotions to you, Frankie, and all I get in return is you telling me that I shouldn’t feel a certain way, or that I couldn’t possibly understand what I’m getting myself into with you. That’s what love is, right? Taking a chance and going into things unprepared and trusting yourself to navigate through it all with the person you’re with?”

“Yeah.” He nodded slowly. “But it’s not usually with someone like me.”

“Alec and Ashley seem to be perfectly happy together.” You swiped a hand over your face, the sadness turning into anger. “He was raised in the same damn way I was and he’s having a baby with a wolf. Fuck, Frankie, you’re not the only person in this world that -”

“We stole hundreds of millions of dollars from a drug lord.” He stepped even closer, straightening up. “So I’m also thinking of that when I consider how the fuck I feel about you, and how close it’s safe to let you get.” His lip curled, and Frankie’s head moved back and forth a few times. “It’s not just that I’m a wolf. I might also have a target on my back for a lot of other reasons, and bringing you into my life fully puts that on you, too.” 

You hadn’t considered that, and you knew that your expression gave it away. Fuck. He’s right. “Frankie, I -”

“I’m fucking in love with you, and every time I’ve thought about telling you that these past couple weeks, I’ve convinced myself not to for multiple reasons. And hearing you say it first, I … fuck.” You gasped, a shaky breath escaping you, and when Frankie took another step forward, you nodded, tears filling your eyes. “I wasn’t looking for this. I’m not ready. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, but you’re right. It doesn’t matter. You need to know. You deserve to know.” 

“You’re in love with me?” He nodded, one large hand rising so that he could slide his fingers along your jaw, his thumb catching briefly on your lower lip. “Really?” He nodded again, unblinking. “Well that’s good to hear.” 

Silence hung between you for a few tense seconds and then he laughed, his other arm going around you. He took the final step and closed the distance completely, crushing you to his chest without forcing you to take a step on your injured leg. Your tears started falling when he lowered his head to speak into your ear, murmuring that he didn’t know what to fucking do with you, but you were too overwhelmed to speak. He’s in love with me. He’s in love with me but was scared to tell me because of everything he’s been through and done and … fuck. I shouldn’t have pushed. I shouldn’t have forced him to… “Hey.” 

“Yeah?” You backed off, meeting his gaze again. “Hmm?” 

“That’s not how I wanted to tell you any of this.” Frankie used one knuckle to brush tears from your cheeks. “I’m not happy I’m a wolf now, but I’ve made peace with it, y’know? I just sort of figured that I’d never really have anyone permanent in my life again, and then you …” He swore quietly, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “You showed up and just …” 

You understood immediately, Frankie’s desire to protect you winning out over his emotional detachment. And he doesn’t know what to be more worried about, the drug money or the wolf, which is …God, I can’t even imagine what he must be thinking. “We can start over.” Your voice low, you tightened your hold on him, fingers gripping the material of his shirt. “This conversation anyway. Start at the beginning, and -”

“I’m in love with you. I want you to stay here, in Florida with me. I want to find this wolf and get rid of it and then figure out what comes next, but …” Frankie took a deep breath, nodding. “I want to be with you. There’s so much shit I still need to tell you, that I want to tell you.” He paused, wetting his lips with a flash of his tongue. “If you’ll let me.” 

“I will.” Your heart was pounding in your chest, eyes locked with his. “If you’re honest with me, I’m more than happy to listen to whatever you’ve got to say.” Here goes nothing. “That’s what happens when you love someone, right?” He nodded slowly, never looking away from you. “Then yeah, Francisco. We’ll do that.” 

“Good.” He bit down on the inside of his lip, narrowing his eyes. “Do you actually want to go, or were you just trying to bow out because you thought I wasn’t going to say anything back to you?”

“I don’t want to go anywhere.” You looked up, eyes on the ceiling for a few seconds as you thought. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, but the idea of being alone right now isn’t appealing, either.” 

He didn’t say anything right away, instead leaning in and kissing your forehead, his lips lingering. “Why don’t we eat dinner, and then we can decide what to do next, alright?” Frankie spoke quietly, sighing as he straightened up. “We’ve got a month to figure this shit out.” 

— 

“Frankie, we’re going to have to get out of this bed at some point.” You sighed, reaching down to drag your fingers through his damp curls. “We have plans tonight.” He was wrapped around you, cheek resting against your chest. “And to be honest, I need a couple hours of rest, because -”

“You weren’t complaining earlier.” Tightening his hold on you, he tipped his head back so that he could catch your eye. “Or this morning, or -” He wasn’t wrong. Since you’d admitted the truth to each other the night after the full moon, the two of you had barely been able to keep your hands off of each other when you were in the same room. 

You’d lost count of the number of times you’d been together, the hours slipping away as you spent them tangled up in his bed and shower. It was like a barrier had been broken down completely, freeing you to not only act on your true feelings, but to stop hiding them, too. He whispered that he loved you over and over between kisses, and hearing his voice repeat it at full volume before he left for work and when he got home in reply to your greeting made you feel at peace in a way that you’d never anticipated. 

But the truth was that you were tired, despite getting good sleep, and you knew that he was, too. “I’m still not complaining.” You sighed, pulling on a curl. “But we need to go and meet your friends, and I’d like to be alert for that conversation.” He laughed, finally letting go of you and sitting up to stretch. “Is this how it’s going to be every month after the moon? Because if it is, I might need to take some extra vitamins, or buy stock in electrolytes or -” 

“Might be.” He wrinkled his nose, reaching up to ruffle his own hair. “Donno yet.” He was joking, and the two of you laughed together, Frankie leaning down to kiss you softly on the mouth. “It’s just nice not to have to hide anything, and I know that when we go over there, it won’t be like that.” 

You sat up, too, leaning against his headboard and pulling the blankets up to cover your chest. “I get it.” You shrugged, nodding. “But I do think it’s for the best.” 

The two of you were meeting his friends for the first time since your attack to fill them in on all the details. You were going to be honest with them about everything - except for why you were in Florida. While in truth, it would only be Benny and Tom that didn’t know the whole story, widening the circle of trust even that much further seemed risky. It wasn’t because Frankie didn’t trust the two of them; instead, it was because he didn’t want to make you explain your entire family’s history, or bring Ashley and Alec into it without their permission. 

Will’s knowledge of the situation had been the result of circumstance, and though you were glad that he knew, part of you wished that you hadn’t slipped up in front of him. Because it feels like too many people know, and nothing’s changed as a result. “I’m gonna jump in the shower.” He stood up, giving you a lengthy opportunity to stare at his bare ass, and then headed for the bathroom. “You wanna come with me and conserve some water?” 

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” You grinned and got out of the bed, too. “Saving the environment?”

“It can be.” He waited at the door for you, reaching back so that you co uld take his hand. “Just for tonight.” Both of you were laughing as you entered the bathroom, Frankie flipping the lightswitch up before you shut the door behind you. 

— 

“Where’s Molly?” You looked out the window at Tom’s place, eyeing the well-kept lawn and pristine house. “You guys don’t come over here to meet up often, right?”

“She’s gone for a couple days with her friends, I think?” He pulled up to the curb, parking his truck. “And Tessa’s in college now, so she only comes home on weekends to do her laundry.” He laughed. “They moved her into her dorm a little while ago.” You hadn’t realized that - but you were thankful that there was a place that all of you could talk without interruptions. Not that Yovanna is an interruption, but … “And he’s always looking for an excuse to use his grill, so it worked out.” 

You made your way to the gate that led to the back yard, Frankie walking slower than usual to accommodate your injury. It felt much better, and he’d re-bandaged it for you twice, checking on the state of it and reporting back to Will, but it still hurt, and there was no reason to push it. 

The others were already there when you rounded the garage and made it to the back lawn, and you and Frankie were greeted with a chorus of hellos, Benny lifting his beer bottle in salute. But the smile on his face froze when he got a good look at you, his gaze going immediately to your bandaged leg. Here we go. 

“What the fuck happened to you?” He frowned, looking at Frankie. “‘Fish? Wh-”

“That’s her story to tell.” He pulled your chair out for you, waiting until you were seated to drop into the one next to it. “Figured it’d be better to do it in person.” You gave Benny a smile and then looked in Pope’s direction, nodding before letting your eyes move to Will and finally to Tom, who was standing next to the grill with one hand on his hip. He looked curious, holding your gaze for longer than he usually did before shaking his head and clearing his throat. 

“Well we’re all here and in person.” He stepped toward you. “And we’re listening.” You felt Frankie’s hand on your knee, the pressure welcome as he squeezed it. “What happened to you?” There was no way to sugarcoat it, and no real reason to, and so you didn’t, opening your mouth and letting the words tumble out. 

“I got attacked by the other wolf in the clearing outside the RV.” It sounded impossible, even by your standards, and that feeling only grew when you continued. “It didn’t bite me, though. It just clawed at me, and then Will shot it, and -” 

“WHAT?” Benny was on his feet, fingers balled into fists by his sides. “You what? My brother did what? And we’re just now hearing about -”

“Benjamin.” Frankie’s voice was quiet, but you heard the power behind it. “Calm down.” The younger Miller stilled, though his expression didn’t soften. “Nobody said anything because we wanted to tell the story once. And we took a few days to recover, but none of the three of us thought that a phone call or a text message was the right way to talk about this.” 

Benny finally nodded before dropping back into his chair, his gaze focused on your injury. It was Pope that spoke up next, reaching across the table to touch your hand before saying anything. “Are you alright?”

“I am. It was a little scary for a couple minutes, but as soon as Will scared it off, it was … better.” He nodded, leaning back. “No, you know what?” You closed your eyes, steeling yourself before you pressed your lips together and nodded. “It was really fucking scary for a few minutes. I thought … I didn’t think I was going to make it.” 

“But you did.” Tom crossed his arms low across his chest, tilting his head to the right. “It didn’t try to bite you? Really?”

“Really.” Flattening your hands on the tabletop, you looked between the four other guys again, taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “If you come and sit I’ll tell you all exactly what happened.” For a second, you didn’t think he’d join you - but then Tom crossed the patio and pulled out his own chair, dropping into it without looking away. 

It took a little while because they all interrupted you, but with Will and Frankie’s help, you recounted the events from the night you’d been attacked. And when you pulled your phone out, opening the cropped video and pressing play, they were all locked in, eyes on the tiny screen throughout the duration of it. It played once for all of them, and then each man took your phone in turn, the device held up close to their faces as they analyzed the other wolf’s attack. Benny’s response was anger, his lip curling while his head whipped back and forth. Pope just seemed sad, his large brown eyes filled with emotion as he winced at the sound of your screams. Will’s expression was full of intrigue, his brows knit as he used both fingers to zoom in on your screen toward the end, mumbling the words I should have aimed higher before he handed it to Tom. 

And Tom’s response shocked you most of all, his posture rigid as he stared at the screen, teeth digging into his lower lip. When he set your phone down and slid it toward you, he finally spoke, leaning in to lock eyes with you. “Don’t take this the wrong way, because it’s a good thing, but why the fuck didn’t it bite you?” 

Frankie growled from next to you, but you murmured his name, head moving slowly back and forth. “I don’t know. I’ve tried to figure that out for the last couple days, and all I’ve come up with is that maybe it didn’t want to? I don’t think it wanted to turn me the way the kid that bit Frankie did, I think it just … wanted to hurt me.” Lowering your eyes to where your fingers were linked on the scarred wood, you took a deep breath. “And it did. But not like it… he has hurt the other people he’s attacked.” The guys all nodded in agreement, but none of them spoke before you went on. “At least now you all know what it looks like. You know for a fact that it’s not Frankie attacking anyone. I don’t know what good that will do, but -”

“How did it know you’d be there?” Tom’s voice was soft, the the fingers of one hand rhythmically tapping the table. “That RV isn’t even in a real camping spot, we had to bribe them to approve the space for it.” He rubbed at his forehead. “It doesn’t make any fucking sense.” 

“It does.” Frankie spoke up, leaning forward so that he could look at Tom. “Based on the pattern.” He explained your theory about the other wolf working his way through local parks that had campsites, explaining that Richloam was one of the final ones in the area that hadn’t been an attack site in the past. “And I can smell people from miles away those nights, so he probably smelled all of us, maybe even me as a wolf, and came running.” 

Tom looked thoughtful, his attention moving between you and Frankie for long moments before he swiped a hand over his face. “Fuck.” 

“So what do we do now?” Pope leaned back in his chair, exhaling. “Frankie, you said there was a pattern to the places the other wolf’s been attacking? Do you think we can use that to figure out where he’ll be next month?”

“Maybe.” Frankie leaned in, nodding. “There were only two or three that were left that are similar to the ones he’s already been to, but Richloam was the most likely. I just didn’t think … I didn’t think our campsite would be where he went first.” Frankie looked over at you, wetting his lips and then lowering his gaze to the tabletop. “He’s either going to branch out and find places further away, or start the pattern again.” He looked up, meeting the eyes of each of his friends in turn. “It’s what I’d do.” 

“Makes sense.” Will agreed, scratching the side of his head. “To someone that’s not looking for a wolf, the attacks seem like random animals, and I’m sure at least a couple of the parks and swamps have had others since the first one we noticed that are just shit like big cats and things fucking with campsites.” You hadn’t looked into that, and made a mental note to do so when you got back to Frankie’s. I should have already thought of it. 

“But what the fuck do we do about it? One of us goes out to each of the most likely places, while ‘Fish picks one of us to come with?” Benny pointed at you, shaking his head. “Do we let you go out by yourself, or always pair you with Frankie because if this fuckin’ thing got your scent, he might be looking? Do we all stay at the camper every full moon so there’s five of us with guns and -”

“I can’t exactly leave my wife once a month on every full fuckin’ moon, Benny.” Tom gestured toward the house, his tone harsh. “She’s not dumb. She’d ask questions, and unlike Morales, I don’t exactly want to tell her wh-”

“Guys.” Will stood, holding his hands out. “Look, we don’t need to decide anything tonight. We know what happened. We know that we need to come up with something before the next full moon. When is that, by the way?” 

“October 28th.” You were the first to answer, certainty in your tone. “The Hunter’s Moon.” You reached for your phone and pulled it back toward you, fingers curling around the device. “And I have every intention of being a part of this plan - whatever it is, because the sooner we deal with this, the sooner Frankie and I can …” 

You trailed off, realizing that you’d just admitted to the fact that you and Frankie were considering a future together. Shit. Did he want that? Did - “The sooner we figure all of this out, the sooner we can figure out how her staying here works.” He reached over and put his hand on top of yours, slowly looking between each of the others. “Because that’s what’s happening. We’re -”

“Hell yeah, brother!” Benny jumped up and circled the table, first clapping Frankie on the shoulder before he put him in a loose headlock, the two of them laughing. When he let go, he moved to you, winding his arms around you from behind and ducking down to press a kiss to the top of your head. “And good for you too. There are plenty of worse guys out there than ‘Fish.”

It made you laugh - Benny lightening the mood significantly, and when you tipped your head back so that you could plant a kiss on his cheek, he grinned and winked before he backed away. “He’s alright.” That made the others laugh, too, and when Pope stood to go and get another drink, the conversation around the table resumed. 

You settled in, Frankie by your side with an arm around your shoulders as all of you caught up with each other. For the next hour, everything was normal, and when Tom stood to preheat the grill, you also pushed away from the table, excusing yourself to use the bathroom. 

“I’ll come with you.” Tom pointed at the grill. “This is ready, so I need to get dinner out of the fridge anyway.” 

There was a small bathroom off of the kitchen, which was bright and cheerful with lots of natural light and greenery. Molly, I’m sure. He was still inside when you finished, and when Tom turned in your direction, holding out a tray of skewered vegetables, you took them happily. “I’ll be honest. I never pictured you as a grill guy, Tom.” 

“Oh yeah?” He grinned at you and you nodded, eyes on him as he picked up a tray of hamburgers and hotdogs. “What did you think I was?” He gestured to the bags of buns before he grabbed a basket full of cutlery and condiments, and then the two of you headed back for the door. He pushed the screen to the side, waiting for you to walk through. 

“I don’t know. I just figured with as much time you spent enlisted, you never had time to learn to cook.” You jerked your chin forward. “Or grill.” He spoke as he followed you, his tone amused. 

“Molly’s the cook. And I’m decent with grilling, but I like it.” You set what you carried down and then turned to reach for the condiments, Tom reaching forward to hand them to you. You caught the wince he tried to hide - slight but still noticeable, his jaw tightening briefly before it relaxed and he spoke again. What did they say happened? Tess and volleyball? “And these assholes will eat just about anything, so as long as I don’t turn their burgers into fucking hockey pucks, it’s fine.” 

Benny snorted but agreed, and even Will nodded briefly, though there was an expression on his face you couldn’t read. You sat down next to Frankie again, and without hesitation he reached over and took your hand, squeezing after linking your fingers together. Ask later. “I’m also not a fan of eating hockey pucks, so…” Tom held up both hands after setting the meat down, muttering the word understood, and then pulled the top of the grill open. 

The conversation continued around you, and as the smell of cooking meat and vegetables filled the air, you fully relaxed. The weather was nice, the company was even nicer, and the fact that everyone was 90% on the same page was a relief. 

“Hey.” Frankie’s voice was quiet in your ear as he leaned in closer, his lips curved upward in a tiny smile. “Ironhead and I are going in to get another round of drinks. You need one?” You did - and told him as much, eyeing the two men as they stood from the table and left you, Pope, Benny and Tom in the back yard. 

When Benny stood to walk over to Tom, you turned your attention to Pope, beginning a conversation about him and Yovanna, and what they’d been up to. He answered enthusiastically, his face lightning up as he spoke, and you were so engrossed in what he was saying that you almost missed Frankie and Will coming back, setting down bottles and cans in front of where everyone was sitting. 

Dinner was ready only a few minutes later, and while you ate, there was none of the lingering tension from the beginning of the conversation, or even any of the uncertainty that you’d seen on Will’s face. You chalked it up as just a product of the situation you’d all found yourselves in, and once again let your guard down. 

It was stupid not to; you were surrounded by a retired Delta Force team and the full moon was weeks away. Nothing was going to happen to you in Tom’s back yard, and even the dull itch of your healing leg wasn’t enough to deter you from that line of thinking. 

As the night went on and dinner was cleared from the table, the six of you moved from the patio and into the yard, sitting in a circle around a small fire pit. You knew that you and Frankie would have to leave earlier than everyone else - he had flights the following morning, and needed to sleep - but the truth was that you didn’t want to leave. 

You’d been to gatherings before, though none of them had been with actual friends. You’d attended bonfires and parties, scoring invites from people you’d met in previous cities in an attempt to strike up conversations with people as they drank or smoked more and let their guard down. But you’d never been to a night like the one that night, and even though you enjoyed yourself, it was also a reminder that no matter how close you got with Frankie and the others, they had true history together, something that you’d never had the opportunity to experience. 

“You alright?” Frankie leaned over, ducking his head to kiss your shoulder. “You’re quiet.” 

“I’m just glad to be here.” You gestured with your bottle, indicating his friends. “It’s a nice change of pace from my usual routine.” You could see that he understood, and while the two of you stared at each other, the firelight flickering in his eyes, you also understood how much the time with his friends in a casual setting meant. “We should probably go soon, though, right?” Chewing on your lip, you took a deep breath. “You’ve got a 10 am, right?” 

“Right.” He leaned back in his chair, stretching. “And that alarm goes off early.” Frankie groaned, reaching up to pull his hat off before using the back of his hand to rub at his eye. “We’re gonna get going.” The other conversation stopped, everyone’s attention going back to you. “We should probably figure out what we’re doing about next month pretty soon, just so we’re all on the same page.”

“Think it’s my turn to head out with you, ‘Fish.” Benny cleared his throat. “But I’m not opposed to turning it into an all play, just to cover our asses.” 

“Might be a good idea.” Pope sighed, rubbing at the space between his eyes. “I think it’s gonna come back and try to see if we’re back at the RV. It had to have smelled wolf-you, Frankie. It might even go back there as a human to scope it out, so -”

“I can head out there in the next couple days.” Tom leaned forward, the hand holding his beer dangling between his knees. “See if everything looks right. Check on the blind, replenish the first aid kit, all that.” Frankie nodded from next to you, and you opened your mouth to speak, but Will beat you to it. 

“Will you be able to get away with us next month, Redfly?” He sipped from his beer, gesturing to the rest of you with it. “Strength in numbers and all that shit?”

“No.” Tom shook his head, staring at the blonde. “There’s a realtor’s conference in Orlando that goes all weekend. Didn’t get to go to the one in August, so I thought this one was a good backup.” He cleared his throat. “I can do whatever you need me to until that Wednesday night, but I won’t be home for the full moon.” 

“Alright.” Will agreed, shrugging. “We’ll do it without you, then.” You could hear the annoyance in his tone, but everyone else ignored it - and so you did, too… at least outwardly. It’s bullshit that Tom hasn’t helped the same ways that the others do. You stood, reaching behind you to move the chair out of the way so that you could head for the fence gate. It seems like he’s just making excuses, and that’s… it’s fucking bullshit. 

It wasn’t your place to say anything, and even though part of you hoped that one of the others would, you didn’t know how likely it was. “Thanks for dinner, Redfly. See you around.” Frankie moved to stand next to you, extending the goodbyes to the rest of his friends. “Let me know what you find at the RV, alright?”

“Sure.” Tom stood, too, sticking one hand in his pocket and jerking his chin at you. “Take care of that leg, alright?” You assured him that you would, and then you started walking again, Frankie’s hand reaching over to take your bottle from you. He dropped them into the trash can next to the back door before you made it to the side of the house, and then he linked his fingers with yours, squeezing. 

“Do you want to go to the car? I need to use the bathroom.” You stopped, turning your head toward where he stood. “Or you can come inside with me, and we’ll go out the front.” 

“That.” You nodded. “Sitting in the car alone feels weird.” He grinned and then changed course, heading for the sliding door. You followed him, moving to lean against the dividing wall between the kitchen and the front hall. The lights were dimmed, but you used the time to look around the room, taking in the details. 

It was cozy and looked lived in in a way that Frankie’s house didn’t. Molly’s influence was all over the decor, and there were fresh flowers in vases scattered around the room, too. I bet Tom doesn’t give a shit about artwork or tile style or - 

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass, and instinctively, you perked up, craning your neck toward the door leading outside. There was some commotion and then the sound of voices as they got closer to the screen door, and only a few seconds later, you watched as Tom entered, his face set into an angry scowl and one hand curled into a tight fist. “You alright? I -”

“Ironhead dropped a bottle.” He went toward the sink, using his other hand to turn the tap on. “Sliced my fucking finger open helping him pick up glass.” You winced in sympathy for him, watching as he unclenched his fist and stuck his flattened palm under the water, shoulders rising and falling as he rinsed the wound. 

A few seconds later, the bathroom door opened and your attention moved to Frankie, watching as he stepped back into the kitchen, wiping his hands on his jeans. He inhaled sharply and then paused, but he veered past Tom to get back to you, sliding an arm around your waist to pull you closer. Why is he so rigid? What is going on? “You cut yourself, Redfly?”

“Beer bottle. It’s fine.” He groaned and turned the water off, reaching for a paper towel. “Ironhead already offered to stitch me up if I need it.” You laughed quietly, but Frankie didn’t, instead pulling gently on you and leading you toward the door. “Have a good night, you two. Get home safe.” 

The further you got from the kitchen, the tighter Frankie’s hold on you became. And when you were finally inside the truck, he raised both hands to the wheel, gripping it tightly enough that you heard it creak. Ok, what the fuck. “Frankie? What’s -”

“I should have fucking seen it.” He nearly growled the words, squeezing the wheel one more time before letting go and starting the truck’s ignition. “I should have fucking known. It’s been right there, in front of my goddamn face.” What? What is … His hands were shaking as he put it into drive, and even in the low light from the streetlamps, you could see that he was breathing hard. Something happened, but what? 

“Frankie, you’re scaring me.” It was the truth. You hadn’t actually felt fear around him in the entire time you’d known him up to that point. “You were fine before you went into the bathroom, and then Tom -”

“FUCK!” He reached up, pulling his hat off and flinging it at the windshield, the truck jerking to a stop at the end of the block. “I can’t fucking believe that he … goddamn him. He’s lucky I didn’t fucking …” The truck started moving again as Frankie’s head whipped back and forth, the shadows sliding over his features as you headed away from the Davis residence. What the fuck is going on with him right now?  

“Frankie?” Your heart was pounding, and even though you were afraid, you knew that he wouldn’t hurt you. Not with the way that he got me out of that house. Not with the way he got me away from … “Tom.” 

The pieces fell into place in an instant, even though you didn’t know the details. Tom’s the other wolf. Somehow, he figured it out tonight, but what would have … “Take your phone out.” He was still angry, but there was a calm to the way he spoke, and you realized that Frankie had slipped into whatever mindset he’d used to get through each mission he’d been on. He’s in survival mode. And that means he really believes this is true. “Ironhead’s going to call you as soon as he gets into his car because he knows I’m driving.” 

You wanted to reach for him, but instead you did as he told you, digging your phone out and holding it - screen up - in one hand between you. “Where are we going?”

“Back to my place.” He was still holding the wheel with both hands, eyes on the road. “Because if we don’t go there, and he checks, he’ll know.” Before you could reply, your screen lit up, Will’s name and picture on it. “Speaker, please.” 

You answered, saying hello, but you didn’t get a chance to say anything else because Will’s voice filled the cab of the truck, his tone just as calm as Frankie’s. “Well?”

“It’s fucking him. I don’t know how, but it is.” He let out a shaky breath. “Good call on the glass, by the way. I can’t believe it worked.” He smelled the blood. He smelled it the other day, and then again today. 

“Are you sure?” He wasn’t outright questioning Frankie; he was confirming. “Because -”

“I smelled his blood all over that goddamn clearing, and even though my nose isn’t as good right now, I’d know it anywhere.” You covered your mouth with your other hand, turning your head to look out your window. “Tom is the other wolf, Will. He’s been hurting people for months, and he just tried to kill my girl a few days ago. I’m fucking sure.” 

There was a long silence as you and Frankie drove through the darkness, and your fingers tightened around your phone as you waited to see who would break it. You didn’t have long to wait. Before you and Frankie made it through another light, Will’s voice came though the speaker again - just as calm, but with a note of resolve in it. 

“I guess we’ve got to decide how you want to handle it then, don’t we ‘Fish?” 

The cab of the truck was silent for a few seconds longer, and then you watched as Frankie eased his grip on the wheel with his right hand. Tom? It’s Tom? He tried to … “Can you come to my place, Ironhead?” But you said he might check. How… how will this work? “This isn’t a conversation I want to have over the phone.” 

Frankie reached over, settling a hand on your thigh and moving his thumb against it in a slow, possessive arc. His touch was gentle, though, despite the rigidity of every other part of his body. “Yeah. Let me go home and get the bike. I’ll be there in thirty.” 

You hung up then, setting your phone down into one of the cupholders - but you stayed quiet. What is there to say? With both hands free, you moved to clasp them together in your lap, but Frankie didn’t let you, intercepting the movement and capturing one hand with his and bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to your knuckles. 

“I meant it, by the way.” His voice was low but even, and when you turned your head toward him, Frankie’s gaze slid to the right and caught yours. It didn’t surprise you that his irises were golden, and you realized in those few moments just how hard he was fighting to hold himself together. 

 You didn’t pull away - and you didn’t flinch, either. “Meant what, Francisco?” He kissed your hand again and then lowered your hands to rest against his thigh, his grip tightening. 

“I’m going to rip his fucking throat out.” 

—

[http-drabbles]

soulmate, soulmate where are you? 2

1.3k words of absolute crushing angst, it's 7am and i woke up to write. shall i be evil and let this be the final part? mayhaps.

warnings: s/h and making jungkook sad (:W)

fuck fuck fuck.

skimming every question and typing out my answer feels a lot like betrayal. name, age, country of residence, when my soulmate mark appeared, contact details, translator needed, agreeing to a declaration that if my soulmate mark was found to be fraudulent i could face a fine or jail time. i tick the box by his name, attach a photo of my mark and send the form off. the confirmation email is too cheery it makes my jaw ache at how i grind my teeth.

i don't want to talk about the circumstances that lead me to fill out that form, to apply for a loan that covers travel cost and a hotel for this. the woman who helped me fill out the form was again all too cheery, wishing me a good luck and all i could do was smile so fucking limply back at her while noticing lipstick smudged against her teeth.

a month passes and i'm gleeful, maybe it's a network error and my form never submitted. i'm free and can tell the loan company to cancel my plan, i don't go on social media to see what jungkook is up to and in those weeks the nightmare is over and i embrace my loneliness.

the email arrives at 16:21. heathrow to seoul, a contact at hybe will meet me at the airport. id needed. date of when i'm expected to actually meet jungkook, with a disclaimer that it may change due to fluctuating schedule. the tiger lily tingles, and i almost see the petals opening ready to accept him.

"don't get your hopes up, i can always email them back to get out of this."

i don't. of course i don't because i'm standing in a Costa in London Fucking Heathrow next to the hybe contact who is analysing their croissants like it's the key to end all misery. i wished i could look at croissants with that much intensity.

she asked once to see my soulmate mark, gave it a one second glance over and then typed something down in her phone, i wondered how many people she's flown with to Korea. more than ten i would bet. i don't ask, i'm not conversational but when we're waiting in the queue holding out boarding passes i blurt to her.

"i haven't flown before. i've got a fear of it i think."

she passes me a sleeping tablet and i bump her number from ten to a solid fifteen.

korea is pretty, face practically smushed against the taxi window i take in every single detail i can. there's an over-abundance of signs, low hanging wires and roads so tiny it's a miracle a car can pass through them. i don't take photos, i rely on my brain to remember and then forget.

hybe is anything but pretty, more like a grey lump of concrete and glass. i sign two more documents and the translator informs me that in two days time i will be meeting jungkook, but not officially meeting. more like my arm will be stuck through a gap and our soulmate marks will touch, i will have to wear a mitt because some people had become a little too excited and scratchy. my mark is thoroughly inspected this time, deemed official and not a tattoo i'm driven over to my hotel.

i don't unpack, staring at the forms in my hand which are a mix of korean and english i almost laugh. traitor. stupid traitor.

over the next two days i come to two big conclusions, one kimchi is too sour but the rice cakes should be considered a universal delicacy and two, is it too late to back out?

is it too late to back out? i'm in the taxi, i consider clawing the windows for escape but i decide that digging my fingers into my belly helps ease my nerves. can i back out? hybe is cold, the ac is too strong and there's other girls in the room i'm lead into. shy smiles as i plop myself in the back. we are called alphabetically. is it possible to back out? there's four of us left now, i didn't bother counting us as a whole. i can't stop digging my nails into my stomach.

i can't back out. my name is called and somehow my body removes the hand from my belly and i walk myself over to the room. there's a row of grey screen partitions that divide the room, a small slither in the middle presumably where my arm will go. it hits me jungkook is on the other side and i bite my bottom lip hard to avoid laughing. tugging my sleeve up a staff member puts the mitt on securely, another verbal warning to not do anything harmful to the artist.

artist and not his name.

i sit down on the chair, staring into that small space to catch a sight of him but there's nothing. i don't mind a fine, or jail time. i hope it's not real. deliberately slowly i raise my arm, putting it through the gap with my tiger lily facing upwards. the air shifts around my arm and i feel him. warm as his tiger lily presses against mine.

at first nothing, and i almost let out the loudest sigh of relief and then it is everything. in the mitt my fingers jerk, i pull away like i've been electrocuted clutching my arm but it's energy, pure energy. thrum. drum. drum.

he's tearing the partitions apart and i stagger back, nearly falling over the chair to get away from him. frantic korean, something more reassuring from a staff member and then he pokes his head through. beaming smile, he's so happy to see me and i guess i'm somewhere between absolutely mortified and in complete shock. his sleeve is rolled up and i notice his tiger lily has fully blossomed, a quick glance down at mine and i realise mine is the same.

he speaks again, approaching me like he wants to hug me but seeing that i'm backing away like a rabid animal he slows, contains himself and glances at the translator and back at me.

"hello. i'm jungkook. it's nice to meet you finally." oh god. too much. he's too kind and his cologne has infiltrated my nostrils and i'm so glad the mitt is still on because i'd be clawing at my nose to stop smelling it.

"s-sorry.. can't." i give the staff member who brought me in here the universal look of, 'get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here-now.' i am ignored.

"sorry?" he tilts his head in pure confusion, he looks worried. i hate him for it. "don't be sorry. it's okay. i'm happy."

i glance around the room and notice i'm being recorded, i don't know what sets me off more. he's too close, the camera, him, why is he so close? he touches my shoulder to comfort me and i jerk away, i can't stop looking at the camera and the other staff members who are beaming at us.

"i'm sorry," my eyes lock with his, "i don't want you." he doesn't understand and i glance at the translator.

she looks sad and very softly tells him what i've said, he doesn't seem to believe her because he presses his fingers against the tiger lily and shakes his head.

"us. this is us." he's struggling to speak himself and i can see him remembering. he's really looking at my arm now, clearer. the burns, the cuts. all the times i've tried to prune that cancerous flower from my arm. almost physically wounded he takes a step back.

"i'm sorry, i don't want this." the translator repeats my words and all he does is nod.

he nods and i leave.

[bloggingboutburgers]

cw: discussions of bullying and aphobia

Hearing aroace peoples' existential crises over their friends discussing crushes, as someone who was socially isolated and severly bullied for their whole childhood and most of their adolescence so had NO friendgroup until adulthood and NO community or inclusion in literally anything (and when it came to sex and romance the other kids explicitly considered my potential involvement in either to be impossible / laughible because of how "weird" they found me (my autistic traits before I even realised I'm autistic)), felt like starving while listening to someone else complain about the food they're actively eating.

Food intolerances and dislike of different foods (as metaphor for being aro/ace) ARE important and difficult to grapple with when you're expected to eat specific foods in specific proportions at different times - but man did it sting until I realised why I felt that way and gave myself a talking to since my trauma doesn't justify belittling the very real struggles of aroace people.

I guess since the choice between 'stay alone or conform' was never really a choice because I was rejected no matter how cis straight or allo I was it taught me to go "fuck it" and accept myself regardless of what other people do or say (which ironically has lead to me becoming dramatically popular all of a sudden at uni, which has been weird to get used to since I have literally no experience with any of this - platonic or otherwise - which did lead to some advantage being taken of me but f*ck it we ball ^^'). And I guess it's just been difficult understanding why anyone would care so much about whether they're "normal" or not? You really have nothing to gain from that, safety is not guaranteed in conformity so best to live aroace and damn all aphobes to hell if they have a problem with that.

It's a mindset I'll never understand and that's only ok now insofar as that lack of understanding no longer results in misplaced anger at people who, for a time, I had once considered spoilt, ungrateful and out of touch. Basically, I'm full of sh*t and to every aroace person reading this you deserve good friends that actually respect you for who you are and do not even TRY to get you to change your mind about sex or romance. Have a lovely day x

Sincerely,

An aggressive emotional support anon

I'm genuinely sorry for all the hardships you went through. I don't mean to equate at all, truthfully from reading you and considering I WAS asked some of those questions as a kid regardless (the "who's your crush" bullshit and whatnot), it definitely sounds like I had it less hard than you did, but... I was bullied in elementary school and middle school, also not necessarily because I was aroace (I don't know why it happened really, I don't know if anyone ever knows, I boil it down to... me being me and there being something fundamentally wrong with me ig), and I definitely also get some of those feelings of "oh boo hoo you call that struggle" boiling in me when people discuss their own past struggles sometimes, so... Yeah, every one person's experience is unique, but I can at the very least very much sympathize.

I think a way it manifests in me is that I now have that compulsive, debilitating fear of being "othered" in any way, shape, or form, so I guess being aroace doesn't help my case. But at the same time... Well, like you brilliantly put it, when you're in a situation like that, no matter what you do, you won't be accepted anyway, and having that knowledge back then is probably also what lead me to figure myself out as aroace so early in life. Because I was treated as this much of an outsider, I ironically had that much room in my own head to form my own identity, far apart from others and the need to conform. Yeah, that identity may include a "piece of shit that doesn't deserve to be supported of part of a group" side that's been forced in, buried deep down and can't be erased, but... It also includes asexual and aromantic, and it's been cemented so hard from so early with such self-affirmation that later down the line, it saved me from a lot of stuff. I never had to force myself into a romantic or sexual relationship because I was undoubtably aroace – and people saw me as an outsider and an eyesore anyway. I spent years of being scared to go to school or out in the street every day, but later down the line, somehow, I feel it saved me from doing so many things I wouldn't have wanted to do.

...Bleh, sorry, didn't mean to turn this into me-me-me crap when you had the courage and sincerity of not only showing your experience, but finding the strength to show more love, understanding and support than a lot of people probably cared to give you for so long, despite all the pain you felt for so long. I guess I just wanna say... This take is definitely inspiring, so thank you on behalf of myself and others I'm sure, but also... I hope that, for yourself, you're also managing to own what you lived through in a way that allowed you to affirm yourself more strongly (it sounds like you are, I hope it IS the case), and most importantly, I hope you're in a much better place in your life now and you'll never have to return to that level of loneliness again.

[reallychaoticwoo]

May I request a yeosang x fan reader smut. Where she goes to Seoul to go to a concert. But she meets Yeosang the day before and she freaks out like panic attack mode. So he takes her to his dorm. Has her shower and change into some of his clothes and it gets him hard and she never had experienced sex or even masturbate so she doesn't understand what she is feeling so he walks her through it all from fingerings to squirting to oral to eventually full on sex. And as they finish she notices blood and gets worried so Yeosang calms her down and such?

⛓️I really enjoyed writing this one! Im still not fully confident in my smut writing abilities, but i think this one turned out better than the last one. Hopefully, this meets your expectations🖤⛓️

✨️Sex Ed in Seoul✨️

📝Word Count: 3,820

❤️Pairing: Yeosang x reader

⚠️Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY!! cussing, fingering/oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it folks), squirting, inexperienced reader, experienced Yeo, panick attack, lots of smut and a sprinkle of fluff (im a sucker for a happy ending)🖤 Please lmk if I missed anything!

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idols in any way‼️

🖤Hope you enjoy!🖤

Your plane just landed, and you are rushing through the bustling airport to get your bags and find where you'll be staying for the night. Not that you haven't already booked a hotel, but you've never been to Seoul before, so you weren't really sure how to get around the city.

Grabbing your bags, you made your way out of the airport and through the busy streets. It must be obvious to everyone that you're not from here. Aside from your difference in fashion and your obviously American choice of luggage, you were looking around at your surroundings like a kid in a candy store. The locals seemed rather nice, giving you small smiles as you passed by. After about 15 minutes of mindless wondering, you made your way to a rather cozy looking coffee shop.

Sitting down with your large luggage bags next to you, you made yourself comfortable and started to Google Maps how to get to the hotel you'd be staying at. You were so ready to make it to where you'd be staying for the next few days. Wanting to unpack, shower, and set out your concert fit for tomorrow. You'd been saving up since the last tour, your heart set on making it to Seoul, and you finally had.

Having been so engrossed in your googling and your thoughts of what tomorrow would be like, you completely missed the man who just sat down next to you. He looked really familiar but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. It's not like you know anyone from here, minus the idols, which, let's be honest, you don't actually know. That's when you saw it. The distinct birthmark peaking out from under his mask, next to his eye. 'No way. There's no fucking way that's him. Do I say something? Do I ignore him and pretend like my bias isn't sitting right next to me??' Your mind was racing almost as fast as your heart.

"So, what brings you to town?" Omg, he's talking to you. You're not sure if it's fear, embarrassment, butterflies, or sheer panic, but your heart is beating so fast you could swear it's about to pound itself right out of your chest. Right now, your chest seems like it's the tightest it's ever been.

"Hey, are you okay?" He looked at you with concern written all over his face. "Uh- I- i- I'm so sorry," quickly trying to gather your things, tears starting to well in your eyes, you knocked your coffee over. Spilling all over the table, floor, and your clothes. 'No... fuck, this can't be happening right now.' The tears no longer resting in your eyes but flooding down your cheeks. Your breathing uneven and fast, your body trembling all over.

Yeosang was quick to action, notifying an employee nearby that there was a spill and apologizing for the hasty exit the two of you would be making. Grabbing your hand and your luggage, he pulled you outside and into a black car that was parked at the back of the coffee shop. Once the two of you were secure in the car, he checked to make sure you were buckled properly. He held your hand is his, pulling down his mask. "Hey, hey, take some deep breaths.. everything is okay." Barely able to comprehend what just happened, what was currently happening, you leaned forward, putting your head in between your legs, trying to steady your breathing. Rubbing small circles on your back with his free hand, his other one gently brushing your hand is his, he repeated, "Everything is okay. You're doing great, so continue to take deep breaths and let your body relax."

Not even 10 minutes later, the car had come to a stop. Extending his hand out to you, Yeosang helped you out of the vehicle, grabbing your luggage once again, before waving the driver off. You had gained some control over your breathing, but the feeling of your chest shattering inside you was still evident. Walking inside the large building in front of you, he effortlessly navigated you through the halls and to a room. The room was stunning, white walls, soft gray bedding, a few plants hanging or sitting in various spots, a small bookshelf against the wall filled with some of your favorite novels and a sleek gray desk without a single thing misplaced. It felt comfortable, like a safe haven.

"This is my room, I hope you don't mind the messy bed, I wasn't really expecting to bring someone home today," a nervous but sweet chuckle escaping him. "Uh, I figured you could use a shower as they always help calm my nerves, and I'm not really sure where you're staying, so I brought you here. I hope that's okay?" You tried to look grateful, but everything inside of you was stuck in the limbo of uncertainty. Giving your best polite smile and a nod, he continued, "Well, the bathroom is over here, I'll set some clean clothes and a towel in there for you. Please take all the time you need in there. I'll be in here when you get out." Grabbing a towel and some of his comfiest clothes, he placed them neatly on the counter before returning to the room. "All set. I'll see you whenever you're ready."

Standing under the warm water, letting it embrace your skin, you finally let your body release its tension. Your shoulders dropping and your back slouching ever so slightly. He was right. A shower is just what you need to help calm your nerves. After about an hour of regaining yourself, you finally left the warmth and comfort of the shower. Drying yourself off and putting on the clothes Yeosang left out for you, you took a look at yourself in the mirror. "You've got this. He's just a human, like any other human out there. Just be yourself and don't panic." After your whispered self pep talk, you finally made your way out of the bathroom.

Perking up as soon as he heard the handle to the bathroom door move, he asked, "Are you feeling any better?" You smiled at him, an actual smile, and oh, it was a beautiful smile. "I am. Thank you for helping me out. You really didn't have to do that." He just shook his head at you, smiling kindly. "I did, though. I couldn't just let you go through that alone." His kind smile seemed to change for a split second with a different emotion you weren't able to quite place. Trying not to read too much into it, you sat on the foot of the bed facing him. "Well, I'm grateful for your kindness." Your smile was truly breathtaking. In fact, you sitting there on his bed, in his clothes, it was mesmerizing. Like all of his daydreams had come to life before him.

He'd always imagined himself with a girl who was soft and kind. Someone who would look like a doll in his clothing, whose smile would make his world pause in an instant. With someone like you. Feeling guilty for his wondering mind, he decided to ask again, "So, I asked earlier, but I never got my answer. What are you in town for?" Blush spreading across your face, you looked down, "Funny, you should ask.. I Uh, I actually came for your concert tomorrow. I've been a fan of you all for a while now, and it's my first time being able to come out to Seoul to see you perform." A wide grin spread across his face. How did he not notice you were an atiny? He was so worried about your impending panic attack that he completely failed to remember the fact you were wearing a tour shirt. "I'm glad you were able to make it! I must know, who's your bias? Maybe I could set up a personal meet and greet for you!" Fidgeting with your thumbs, you shot him a shy smile. "Oh, there's no need for that." He was puzzled, to say the least. What atiny wouldn't want to have a one on one with their bias? "Why's that?" He needed to understand why someone would pass up that opportunity. Most fans would (and have) fight for even a minute of time with their favorite member. "Well, uh, you kind of already have. You're my bias." There was no hiding the fact that your face was the same shade as a tomato. Did you really just tell him that?  "Oh? Oh! Well, I'm glad I was the one that you ran into today then." That was it. You're literally the embodiment of what he's been dreaming of, and you like him too??

He wonders if you feel as soft as he's always imagined. What you sound like when you're being worshipped. What you'd feel like if he ever got to make you his own. His pants were tightening at the thoughts. Trying to shift his position, he leaned back further on the bed, pulling one of his legs up to try and hide his hardening length. Unluckily for him, or maybe it was lucky? You noticed that his pants seemed to have a tent that wasn't there before.

"Uh, should I, um, leave you to, uh, take care of that?" You weren't uncomfortable, but nervous? You didn't know much about sex. You were a virgin, hell, you've never even touched yourself. Yet the sight of him, even if only for a split second, sent tingles down your spine. "No, uh, I'm sorry. I'm not usually one to be so, uh, easily excited. I just, well, never mind." You cocked your head at him, your eyes questioning what he meant. Catching on to your confusion, he quickly tried to explain. "Look, I'm usually very in control of my urges, but I'd be lying if I said that you weren't something right out of my dreams. You are very gorgeous, and your smile is heart-stopping. I let my mind wonder, and I apologize for that."

He was honest. That was one of the many reasons you'd liked him so much in the first place. Aside from being painstakingly beautiful himself, he had a personality that was just as inviting as his looks. Feeling a surge of curiosity and something else you weren't really used to feeling, you decided to ask, "What do you mean you let your mind wonder? I'm sorry to ask, but I, Uh, I'm not really um.. experienced." It was his turn to look puzzled. "What do you mean by that? Not to ignore your question, but surely you have some experience?"

"No, I don't. I've never even touched myself, and I'm still a virgin. I just wanted to wait, ya know? Find someone worth giving myself to in that way.. someone who would actually love me and not just use me. I know, it's rare these days, but one can dream." You weren't really sure why you were telling him this. After tomorrow, you'd never see him again, so did it really matter? Give it a month, and he probably won't even remember. They meet so many fans with all kinds of stories.

"I understand, well, to answer your question from earlier. I couldn't help but wonder what your lips would taste like against mine. Or how pretty you sound when you moan. You must make the most magical noises when you're enjoying yourself." Your thighs clamped shut at his words. Your untouched cunt silently screaming to be loved, to be pleasured. You gulped at the thought, I mean, who better to take your virginity than someone you've literally dreamt about every night for years. Someone who you could only pray your future partner would remotely resemble. Someone who saw you, a stranger, and decided to help you when you were afraid and vulnerable.

"Yeosang... would you, um, would you be okay with taking it slow? Walking me through it?"

"I'd love nothing more. I'm gonna need you to come lay on the bed next to me, okay?"

Patting the bed next to him, you moved to lay beside him. Your nerves were getting the best of you again, but this time, it felt good? He eased his way over you, his legs straddling your thighs. Looking down at you with nothing but awe, he leaned in slowly, giving you time to move if you wanted, before softly caressing your lips with his. His hand moving up to gently cup your cheek and pull you slightly closer. Your head was already spinning. How could a kiss feel this good? He slowly moved his other hand to your breast, palming at the soft mound over your shirt. A small but angelic whimper escaping your mouth and flowing into his. You were so perfect, and all he's done is kiss you.

Parting your lips to catch his breath, he moved his way down, placing soft, calculated kisses on your jaw, then neck, the chest. Arching into his touch absentmindedly, your eyes closed in pure bliss, your hand followed his every move, finding its place in his hair, gently gripping the blonde locks in between your fingers. Kissing down your stomach, he stopped right above where his sweats sat on your waist. "Are you comfortable with taking these off, love?" He looked up at you, his eyes reassuring, full of concern for your comfort and yours only. It was obvious he wanted to make you feel good more than anything else. You nodded a quiet "Yes" escaping your lips.

With your permission, he hooked his thumbs on the waistband, pulling it and your panties down carefully. "I'm going to taste you now beautiful, okay? I need you to relax for me and let me make you feel good. Can you do that for me, precious?" Another nod from you is all he got, and all he needed. Licking a slow strip up your folds. "Fuck you're so wet already. Did you know that precious? Did you know how beautifully eager you cunt was for some attention?" Looking up at you, all he could see was the absolutely fucked out look on your face. He hadn't even fully started and you looked like you were ready to fall apart. God, you really could not be more perfect.

Placing a few more slow licks through your folds, he spread your thighs a little further apart. He wanted the perfect view of his new favorite meal. Your hands gripped the sheets beneath you, your hips bucking up, trying to find his tongue once again. "Fuck you're so eager to learn princess. Don't worry, I promise I'll teach you everything I know." And with that he was face first in your cunt again. Licking sweet circles around your clit. You felt like you were floating, your stomach creating a knot of pleasure just waiting to be released. Your hips moving with the licks he placed on your aching bud with perfect timing. Feeling like you were nearing your climax he slowly slipped his index finger inside your tight hole. "Dear god, you are so fucking tight baby, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to fit, we're gonna have to prep this pretty pussy of yours okay?" You were nothing but a fraction of the girl you were just 10 minutes ago. Your brain foggy, your climax ready to take you under. He slipped his middle finger in, curling both fingers up to find the spongey spot he knew would set you off. Once he found it, he only slightly quickened his face, adding pressure you your clit with his tongue expertly flicking away. "Fuck... FUCK YEOSANNNGGG" Your vision went white, your thighs trembling at the feeling of your high spraying out of you. You were an absolute mess. Trying to catch your breath, you propped yourself up on your forearms. Yeosang already climbing on the bed next to you, water in hand. "Here love, take a sip." You gulped the water down, handing it back to him. "Your shirts soaked?? I'm so sorry!! I didn't mean to - i- I didn't know.." You started. He just laughed waving you off. "Of course you didn't know baby. I'm pleasantly surprised you can squirt and I am absolutely not complaining. It was hot as fuck. I'd love to make you do it again." And you would love to do it again. Having finally fully come back to and steadied your breathing you look at the blonde man sitting next to you. "Yeosang, please, I want you. I want you to have me, I want you to be my first. Please..." Fuck, how could he say no to that? He couldn't. He wouldn't. "Are you absolutely sure love? I don't want you to regret it later." He meant that too. He knew that it was important to you and he didn't want to be the guys you were so desperately trying to avoid. He wouldn't be them, he'd made up his mind. "I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather loose my virginity to, Yeo.. you're literally my biggest fantasy.. please take me."

And with that, he was taking off his clothes, throwing them on the floor. You followed suit, taking off your.. his shirt, and tossing to the floor. He climbed back over you once again, and you spread your thighs, giving him perfect access to your glistening entrance. Leaning over you to place a gentle kiss on your forehead before resting his against it. "We'll take it slow, okay baby? If you need me to pause or to stop all together, just tell me, okay?" You smiled up at him, your eyes full of love. "Okay," you nodded. Lining himself up, he slowly pushed himself into your sopping cunt. Your lips parting at the stretch, a painful inhale falling from your mouth. "Are you okay? Do I need to stop?" You shook your head, "No, no please don't stop Sangie." A breathy plea to him. Inching himself further inside he groaned in pleasure at the feeling of your warm walls clenching around his cock like a glove. You feel like you were made for him. Molded to fit his dick, and his dick only. Stilling his movement once he was fully sheathed inside you he placed a hungry kiss to your lips. His tongue massaging yours, your beautiful moans being swallowed by him. Pulling away ever so slightly you whined looking at him with the most pitiful, gorgeous, look he's ever seen. "Sangie, please... please move."

Slowly, he retracted his hips before pushing back into you with one deep thrust. "Aahh, shit Sangie!" Another sharp thrust, "fuck you feel so good wrapped around me baby." He set the perfect pace, slow and deep thrusts, pulling you into your own personal utopia of pleasure. Your hands found their place on his shoulders, nails sinking into his skin surely leaving cresent marks he will be wearing proudly tomorrow. Your back arching in pleasure and your walls clenching around him, he quickened his pace. Sharp deep thrusts threatening to explode. "Fuck angel, are you close? I need you to cum for me beautiful, I need to feel you cum all over my cock." His eyes were pleading with yours his hand quickly moving down to where your sweet perky bud was. Applying pressure to the small mound, flicking over it in time with his trusts, your eyes glossed over, you were so far gone. "Sangie... sh...aaahhh.. I'm gonna..." the feeling washed over you with a surge that refused to hold back. Yeosangs thrusts becoming speratic as your essence floods over him like a warm wave "Quick baby, where do you want me to come??" Your mind barely had time to comprehend his words before you were saying, "inside please fuck Please cum inside me, I want to feel you everywhere." With a few more unsyncronized pumps, he was spewing thick white ropes onto your spasms walls. Steadying himself above you, he kissed you tenderly before slowly pulling out and standing up. "Let me help you get cleaned up, I'll be right back."

He disappeared into the bathroom, coming back only a few moments later with a warm washcloth. He was gentle when cleaning you up. Taking his time as to not cause you any pain or discomfort. You looked at the bed, and your body froze. "Yeo... Yeosang.. why is there blood??" Your voice and body trembling at the sight. He quickly wrapped his arms around you, pulling you to his chest. "Don't freak out, okay. It's perfectly normal. A lot of girls bleed their first time having sex, and I promise it's nothing to worry about." He reassured you. "Now, how does a bath sound?" A soft hum into his shoulder was all he needed to know that that's exactly what you needed right now. Gently laying you back down, he disappeared to the bathroom again. As he drew your bath, adding relaxing oils and bath salts, he laid out two towels and some body oil for after.

"Let's get you in the tub angel. I'll be there to join you in a few minutes, okay? I'm just gonna make the bed really quick." He helped you into the tub, one hand holding yours and his other hand resting on your back as you eased yourself in. A quick kiss to your forehead, and he was leaving to change the bedding and throw the soaked sheets in the laundry.

Once he returned, he joined you in the tub, sitting behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist. "So I was thinking.." He started, "I know we just met, and we just had sex, but I was hoping that, if you want, of course, you'd stay with me? You don't have to answer now, but I just want you to know I think you're really something special and I'd love to see what the future has in store for us." You nodded, listening to his words, deciding to answer him after you weren't naked at the very least.

He helped you bathe, and you, of course, returned the favor. Getting out of the tub, he made sure to hold you steady and wrapped you in a fluffy towel. He helped you get dressed in a new set of his clothes and even carried you to his bed. Laying you down under the covers, he climbed in bed next to you. You turned to face him, looking at him with so much admiration, so much wonder and love. "I'd love to stay with you." You said before turning to lay on your back. He pulled you back to face him, his arms tightening around your waist. He kissed the tip of your nose softly, "You dont even know how happy you just made me. You really are the woman of my dreams."

[hollowflight-propaganda]

I think it's time I change my bio to say it's been 11 years since I started to watch Ninjago.....

Gosh. Where's my senior discount on the lego sets, huh?

[lettersiarrange]

Has time always moved this fast? I'm genuinely asking. In 200 years we went from Bridgerton to AI. The everyday lives of people in each of these eras feel like universes apart. I'm no historian, but it seems like the everyday lives of people between 1500 and 1700 weren't that different.

Have humans throughout time immemorial reflected on life 30 years ago, 100 years ago and commented on how vastly different it was? It feels like we're running at a breakneck pace in the modern era. The It Gets Better project was founded in 2010 because gay people were so universally ostracized that lgbt teen suicide rates were off the charts. And while we're still pretty far from full LGBT equality, openly having a problem with gay people existing is a pretty fringe opinion now that's fairly universally frowned upon, even in the southern US.

I'm pretty sure the first time a woman wore pants in congress was in the 90s.

Culturally, technologically, resource-wise, it feels like every 5 years we leap 5 decades forward. Is it just our own preoccupation with the era we live in that makes this moment feel so significant? Or are we actually moving as quickly as it feels?

I know people have always laughed at the grandpa's who complain "when I was your age...", but has the gap ever been this wide? Or is there truly something special about now.

[blujayonthewing]

extremely important to me that my satyr is completely sweet and naive and gentle and innocent and is still a satyr who loves to drink and do drugs and have as much sex as possible, likewise extremely important to me that my goofy little kooky mad scientist archetype wizard with a silly voice and funny eccentricities is also unironically beautiful and desirable and capable of sincere attraction and love, extremely and equally important to me for different reasons that are the same reason

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up