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2demondogs · 20 hours ago

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Can you do Arthur and BioKid!reader (prob age around 5-7) where Arthur sent his kid to school (around 1870, school began to become free) because even if he knows he could teach his kid the basics, he wants better for them.

As we know, schools back then did physical punishments. If a kid lacked behind their fellow students, teachers often saw it as laziness and would punish the kid.

Arthurs kid, who was very excited to attend school, came back from it sobbing their eyes out because they were canned (hit) on their hands for not understanding math and begging that Arthur doesn't send them back.

Obv Arthur, being an amazing dad, doesn't send them back and taught them stuff himself.

Weirdly enough I had a very similar experience at that age but in ballet class. Are any of us okay?

Historical accuracy was attempted. Though the image of being dropped off at school on a horse is absolutely hilarious to me. "Okay little buddy here's a cigarette for lunch, I'll clip clop back at 4. Daddy's gonna go rob a bank now. Hyah!!"

Arthur's a cigarette mom tbh. Also this took literally like 2 months for me to get to I'm so sorry LOL I wanted some familial comfort so I was finally in the headspace for it.

Words: 3k Tags: AU - canon divergence, pre-canon (circa 1888), hurt/comfort, it takes a village so the gang's all here too, angst but also a lotta fluff Arthur is just being Arthur (aka a killjoy), gender-neutral reader

Few things in his life have brought Arthur as much pride — in someone else, in himself — as the grin plastered on your face the first day of school.

Boadicea disliked the amount of people, the small kids that tried to stroke her legs before being beckoned away by their parents. Most were used to animals like her, but he could tell the city-bred ones from his own kind: brighter faces, slower walks, cleaner nails. It's the same as their parents, dressed well and sometimes in automobiles.

What an odd gathering these schoolrooms make for. He's always thought it'd be funny to have punted John in the direction of one, but he finds he's had a wrong idea about the crowd. Wouldn't have been as satisfying as he imagined when the man was just a boy, wily and jaded and just like all the other farm kids that he saw trudge in and out yesterday. (Of course, when John showed curiosity about it and asked him what the crowd was like, he told him he was far too stupid to dream of going to school. He is a father, but he ain't John's.)

In another life, he might even stick around to converse with the other parents. He'd pondered it that first day, feeding Boadicea an apple for the trip from camp some miles off and to this building on the edge of town. Arthur wondered if he had had you ten years later, and if he were not so much younger than all these parents, and if you were not so—

Well, misplaced in the world. His own fault. He thinks of it everyday.

He studies the bricks while he smokes and waits at the side of the building, now, early as he was yesterday lest he miss something important. What it would be, he doesn't know. Perhaps he just hopes you'll be given back to him sooner today, because he's coming to realize he's grown fond of knowing exactly where you are. After your mother died, the clinginess is a little more souring than he'd like to feel, so he doesn't study it.

Instead, he flicks ash off his cigarette and considers that it's going to get chilly soon. You've grown since last winter, and he ought to make sure you still fit your coat when he brings you home.

He doubts Grimshaw will mind making you another; seems to like you. Pities you, anyways, because your father is the young, dumb oaf Arthur Morgan. That woman drives him insane, sometimes, but he has learned that she cares in her own way ever since you came along. A certain softness came out in her that, rarely but truly, extended to him, too.

The cigarette is replaced by another by the time the kids begin to pour out of the doors. Youngest first, so there's no wait to see you searching for him.

Already, Arthur knows something is wrong. There's no difference from your usual face, besides whatever calm comes over it when you lay eyes on him— but that calm looks more like an ache for comfort that concerns him, even though he can't tell what, precisely, tips him off. He supposes it's the same thing that changed him to the point of considering your winter clothes, whatever thing makes him a father instead of a simple man.

The ground is tough and sandy below his knee when he drops to one to meet your eyes, brows raised in expectance of some explanation. Even your gait is quicker, your hug tighter; you aren't talking like you were yesterday, let alone grinning, and Arthur pinches his cigarette in his teeth to smooth a hand over your head and back.

That smile had made you seem so grown-up, but now you look so young and small. He takes the smoke from his lips and holds the hand to the side to keep it from your face.

"How's your day, buddy?" He asks, anyways, and frowns when you shrink in his arms and press closer. Peeling away to take a look at you, Arthur runs a hand over the side of your head to brush away your hair. He doesn't see any bruises or scrapes, but still asks: "Y'get in a fight or somethin'?"

You shake your head. His hand is large where it lays on your shoulder, firm and comforting. It only takes a moment for you to give up the silence and struggle to explain.

"She called me lazy," you say.

Arthur's brows furrow. "Teacher, you mean?"

You nod, speaking as if it's difficult not to burst into a shout. Around you, the older kids begin to pour out, but he is only focused on your voice. "She smacked me with a ruler."

"What?" He interrupts.

It comes out harsher than he means it to, and he strokes a hand over your head when you flinch. Jesus, you're on edge if you're flinching at him. Anger broils hot and instant in his gut; he knows very well how most people raise their kids and he had talked long and hard with Grimshaw for yanking on your ear one too many times but regardless, it isn't anyone's place to lay a hand on you. It isn't even his — he isn't Lyle, and you're considerably more of an angel than he ever has been himself — but it certainly isn't anyone else's.

"Where?" His eyes pass over you, searching.

Looking over the handsewn clothes Grimshaw had done-up for you, adorned with those gaudy little buttons Dutch had popped off of some nice suit jackets during a gathering he'd infiltrated some months ago, Arthur feels even more anger. Six years of raising you and dressing you in love.

It certainly is not her right to smack his child. Our child, he thinks, and the fondness only feeds the disgust. Suddenly, he wonders what you didn't tell him the first day, and if some of those wailing kids were sad for more than simply missing mother dearest.

You hold out your hands, backs up. A few knuckles are swollen, and you wince when he traces a fingertip over them to test how badly.

He bites back a sigh. He feels like he should've known this would happen, although not a single one of them has been inside a schoolhouse. Maybe Grimshaw, seems the type, but she never spoke of it. Still, Arthur thinks he should've known it the same way he knows you'll grow out of your coat this winter.

Isn't it what fathers do? Know things? Lyle hadn't been much of a father, but he always knew things.

Is Arthur worse off than him?

"Why'd she do this?" He asks.

Your face is growing redder and redder, flushed with embarrassment and shame. He wishes he had the words to soothe that, but he knows a scolding like this always leaves a certain rawness in a child. He'd had plenty of them himself.

"I was bein'... in— inatten..." The frustration of not being able to remember and repeat the word wells tears in your eyes, but Arthur's heard enough.

"Hey, it's a'right," he hushes, shaking his head. Takes a quick drag and blows it to the side. "Let's get'chu home, okay?"

You ignore him, trying to explain: "I was bad at math."

"Shit, I ain't no good with numbers, neither," Arthur says, and then catches himself. "Don't say shit. Okay?" You nod. A small flicker of your lips into a smile makes him feel better, though you still look like a kicked puppy and it makes his heart ache. "Let's get'chu home," he repeats, and this time you listen.

He's never seen Hosea so displeased.

That's untrue; he has, over gunshots and blood-puddles. It feels like a gunshot to see you burst into tears, curled into the man's chest after Arthur tried to encourage you to talk to him about what happened. He had always been better with words, but he remembers while watching him handle your sobbing that Hosea has always been better with comfort, too.

Hardly had the man picked you off your spot hugged to Arthur's front atop Boadicea — did so yesterday too, and if today was just as happy then Arthur would've been glad to see it turn into a habit — before you broke into tears once more. He had quieted you eventually on the ride with the promise of not returning, although he intended to talk it over with the others before he decided once and for all.

Our kid, he thinks warmly, and then: I feel like a kid myself. Some things come naturally when you have a child, he's finding, but so much of it just doesn't.

"Teacher smacked 'em with a ruler. Poor thing's knuckles are all..." Arthur explains, sighing heavily, waving with a hand in the air as if to say: fucked up. Hosea will jump off that crate he's sat on and smack him if he talks that foul in front of you. At least I'm grown enough to take a flick to the nose, he thinks bitterly. "Doesn't wanna go back, now."

Hosea seems to struggle through the same thoughts as he did, prying your hand off his chest to take a look. It's normal for others, though not for them. Not with you, at least. He can almost see the memories of similar punishments in his eyes. Still, Hosea pats your back and picks you off himself to hold your face.

"You think your Daddy knows everything you need to know, anyways, do you?" He asks.

It's a tease, mostly, humor to get you to stop crying. You're too upset to realize, and only nod. Arthur could cry himself at that. I'm still a kid myself, he thinks, in the back of his mind; Hosea only smiles at him, before righting his expression to look at you.

"I figure we all do," he says. Looking to Arthur, he raises his brows. "You intendin' to try again?"

Arthur sighs, shrugs his shoulders. He doesn't feel so dissimilar to you: vaguely ashamed, upset, embarrassed. "I was gon' ask what'chu thought I oughtta do," he admits.

Almost imperceptibly, Hosea's face softens further. "Well," he says, looks back to you to dry your eyes and wipe your nose with the sleeve of his button-up. Natural-born for a man that's never raised kids this young. "I never was in school, 'n' I'd say I'm quite well-educated."

"Never had a class on humbleness, I see," Arthur says.

Hosea snorts. "Don't listen to him," he says without sparing a glance.

"What's humbleness?" You ask, oblivious.

"Oh," Arthur says, steps forward to ruffle the hair atop your head. "Y'see, Uncle Dutch is real humble."

The other man bites his cheek to stave off a smile. "Arthur," he warns, looking up at him.

But it's a good opportunity to send you off and allow the two of them to talk in private, so he leans over to catch your gaze. "If you go tell Dutch he's humble, I'll give you a dollar," he promises, patting your shoulder.

"Is humble mean?" You ask.

"Y'catch on quick," Arthur says, grinning. John has certainly given you coins to say worse to him, though he found it funny each time. Your face is puffy and red, and he finds it sweet that you paused every other thought going through your head to consider it. "No, it ain't mean, sweetheart. Very nice, in fact."

Very mean to lie about, he thinks, and when you turn on your heel to go and earn yourself a dollar, he knows you will be just fine. Hosea laughs only when you've pattered away.

"Odd critters, kids," Arthur says. He sounds far too fond.

It was an easy choice. It had been a stretch to even take you to school, and the adults had all agreed that you'd likely miss most of it, anyways. They could only change so much about their lives, even if it was no way to raise you.

Sometimes Arthur wonders what it'd be like to live a normal life with you. To find someone to help him raise you proper, like a civilized family. He doesn't speak of it, but he's sure they all know that he wonders. Maybe they do, too. He thinks on it less after testing those waters with school, but once in a blue moon, the dream comes back to him.

Arthur ran into a block, as far as teaching you how to read went. He'd sat you on his lap and tried his damnedest to answer the fifty questions that every sentence of Dutch's borrowed book provoked you to ask, but he had run out of answers very quickly despite it being one of the simplest ones he had to offer.

For the last two days, he has been laying awake at night trying to answer why, exactly, bear means both an animal and an action that seemingly makes no sense. Tried and failed to use Hosea's beat-up old Bible to teach you a few words, because by the second verse it was losing him a little, too. That one made him feel quite stupid.

Hosea is better suited for that, they'd decided. He seemed a little tired being asked to teach yet another person to read, but Arthur knows that irritation is only skin-deep and watches it disappear whenever you're around. When Arthur said he wasn't sure where to start with writing, either, Hosea put a hand on his shoulder and told him the alphabet in a tone that told him he was on his own, unless he really got too lost.

It is fair. Arthur wants to teach you as much as he can, too, finds a sort of warmth about it.

The pride he feels watching you copy the alphabet he'd printed out — as steady as he could, admittedly nervous he'd screw it up and somehow damage your intellect forever, is this what being a dad feels like? — was greater than any he'd felt before. Your handwriting is unsteady, and he has to readjust the pencil in your grip more than once, but by all accounts, it is much easier to answer what sound does this make? than what's a garden?

He lets you work. Arthur likes, too, that this way your first writings will be kept in his journal. He already protects it like a sacred thing; now, it'll probably be on his body or in his pocket until you're old enough to marry someone. Even then, if all goes well, he'll have it.

Oh, how the thought of you growing up distresses him. He can't imagine what you might look like older, even though it sneaks up on him every year come your birthday that your eyes and nose are looking more adjusted to your skull, that your face is sharpening out from baby-round. He could hardly picture John as anything but the scraggly little mutt Dutch dragged back into camp when he had. It's a familiar, more intense fear.

Shit, Arthur doesn't even know what he himself will look like come three year's time.

He's twenty-five and still changing. Will he see what your face settles on?

Is this what it is to be a father?

He thinks so. There can't be any other truth, because he's faced this feeling every time you've hit a milestone. He was glad you didn't need to be carried constantly anymore, but so very depressed that you could walk; he was overjoyed when you said his name clear as day for the first time, but he was terrified at the thought that he may one day be Arthur to you.

It's sad, but it makes him smile when you look up and proclaim that your wobbly rendition of the letter W — dubba-yuh, as you say, he won't ever get over how children always sound like they are drunk — looks almost exactly like his.

Grimshaw and Hosea make a fuss, playing cards at the poker table some yards away. You ignore them entirely, absorbed in your own little world, writing at your own pace. With ears that turn off so easily, he worries about how you'll do hunting. He could've heard Grimshaw asking Hosea in exasperation why he's not cheating, you old fool, from a mile away.

Then comes Dutch, after you've scrawled a few more letters. Walking quiet up to the pair of you sat in the grass outside Arthur's tent, observing from above you before he speaks.

"Arthur?" He asks, and he sounds odd, considering that they're doing nothing unusual.

He looks up. "Yeah?"

Dutch points to the open journal. You look between them, then, interested in whatever is going on now that your dad is involved. "Did you forget the letter Z?"

Arthur squints, looks back at the journal. Oh. His ears turn red, but he only clears his throat. "I mean, who uses Z anyways?" He dismisses.

The prospect of being able to show some kind of smartness beyond a full-grown adult's seems to excite you. "Where's Z go?" You ask Dutch.

He kneels, takes the pencil and book from you to write it in after Y. In cursive. Christ, Arthur thinks, but he doesn't say anything.

"Right here, my dear," he says. Handing you the pencil back, he smiles as you skip over the others to add your own interpretation early. "Now, will you cover your ears for me?" Perplexed, but you obey anyways. Arthur is already narrowing his eyes before Dutch turns to him. "You are a goddamn fool, you know that?"

There's no malice in it, only amusement. He looks positively chuffed, which almost irritates Arthur more than if he truly meant to call him an idiot. "Who even uses Z?" He repeats, waves a hand. "It ain't that big'a mistake."

"I don't know," Dutch scoffs. "A zebra?"

"A zebra?" Arthur says, in disbelief. "You ever seen one for y'self?"

Dutch's brows raise. "Are you—?" His face falls into mock graveness. "Arthur Morgan," he says, feigning disappointment. "You can't be serious."

"Well, have you?"

"I ain't gon' dignify that with a response," Dutch says, turns to smile at you. He always smiles at you, at least, Arthur likes that about the man. He plucks one of your hands off your head. "You're good, now, honey. Keep writin'."

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sir-fenris · 2 days ago

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Started with tags, but then it got too long, as always :'D

"He was too busy with his hundreds of psychic children"

And lost all of them. Should've stayed with your own kids, mate. You're awful with anyone else's.

But I'm glad he does love his own kids.. it's hard to see Martino loving anything with that attitude of his. Such a bitter man.

"Ohhh so you can be nice but you just choose to be cruel to me. Why"

ouch

That actually made me sad, that's a heartbreaking feeling/thought, cause it IS so fucking unfair and there's nothing to do about it. Delta deserved so much better.

Fuck you Martino, ugh.

Lorelai knowing Martino's daughters is..... very interesting. Feels like two different worlds interacting, idk why. Martino and Lorelai "side to side" (as in, Lorelai and Martino just coexitisting in the same space or talk) feels.... idk. Two worlds apart. Though they're actually very close, considering Paris. And even Delta. And now Martino's daughters.

"(...) totally backfired and delta was the one who ended up getting punished for it, as seems to always be the case. "

Fucking ouch

I like Simon better than Martino, but fuck him for that one, holy shit. Even Paris comforted Delta in his half-assed way. When Martino and Paris defend Delta is when you know you fucked up BAD. Cause this two seem to make his life miserable just for the freaking thrill of it sometimes. Most times. All times.

Delta cried. Cried. And then blamed himself for crying. And then- ugh. I could spend hours talking about that chapter, really, I meant it. Heartbreaking. Every single detail, beginning to end.

A bit of more yapping below.

So yeah. I like Simon. At least more than Martino. But he's not out of hate's way. Delta also suffered without reason because of him >:(

And I really do like Martino. His character is cool to read about, and I'm always, constantly, curious about him. Sometimes even more than I am about Simon. But I still hate him. Cause fuck this asshole. Everytime I re-read a scene of his, I feel like kicking the air.

"There was nothing they could do for the broken ribs. Dr.Martino was clearly reluctant to yield about the painkillers; Simon had to leave the room to calm down." (This chapter) <- LIKE THIS FUCKING PARAGRAPH, FUCK YOU MARTINO. The way this man makes me angry with one single sentence is astounding.

Guess liking and hating him at the same time is what makes me be so curious about him, tbf.

Since Martino is dead, though, I'm very curious about Simon.

"Simon stared at him. Paris briefly misread his expression as scorn; his hand tightened around the blade. But as the light shifted, he knew what he was witnessing. He’d seen grief on the faces of plenty of old men. He let go of the sword. Simon didn’t say a word." (first chapter of Crash out) <- I take this as to say he's miserable. Cause like...... His mind was already on a bad place before.

How could it be not? The person who had his role before pulled the trigger for a reason (honestly, curious about this person too. But that's not new, I'm curious about everything)

And then he learn Martino AND Delta are gone in one swoop. Like? Fuck. And he probably knew more people who died, but I think Martino and Delta must have hit harder. And then he doesn't have a job anymore. And Paris is also gone. And NEZU is on the throne. Like? Fuck #2. Terrible place to be in, really.

Why did I make this a long comment again? Geez. I have to stop writing so much. Sorry :') Thanks for the extra information, I always love extra informations.

Delta saying "i love you" and being so much softer in Rubies it's so... 🥺🤏 melts my heart. And then I started to think, how would people that knew Delta before react if they saw him now, being like that?

So... Simon and Martino (if the asshole was still alive), how would they react to seeing Delta now?

And by the way... how is Simon? To him, both Delta and Martino are dead and Paris is gone and... well. How is he holding up?

While Martino might not think Delta is being intentionally deceptive, he would still believe that Delta is misrepresenting himself with any facsimile of softness. That is a fucking serial killer. Martino would think Galatea was being way too lenient with him and that it’s an accident waiting to happen.

But I think on some level he actually would feel guilty. He can recognize how completely starved for affection Delta is and knows that it is largely his fault. He’s being present with clear evidence that Delta is actually capable of kindness and empathy rather than just mindless obedience, which definitely ruins his perception of Delta as a soulless monster who basically deserved everything that happened to him. He feels a small pang of conscience over this, but ultimately buries it because “Delta’s just being manipulative again.”

As for Simon, this will be answered within the story! How do you think he’s doing? :)

#Destroyer's universe #Destroyer's universe: comments

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crookedfivefingers · 2 months ago

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3.13 | ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀꜱᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅꜱ

link to the post I accidentally wound up prattling endlessly about in the tags 💀

#doctor who #tenth doctor #martha jones #david tennant #freema agyeman #(good god. without even meaning to I went into 'psycho stream of consciousness tagging' mode. whoops)#always thinking of that one post #where OP mentions how the writing tries to make it seem like Ten looked right through Martha/etc #which is a good concept for demonstrating his grief. but also isnt what we really see throughout S3 #(not saying he wasn't a grieving MESS because he was. but he's a multi-faceted character and he can grieve AND value Martha simultaneously)#but we see such fierce protective instinct+trust; a bond between them that obviously isn't some one-sided affair #+ his clear intent to impress her/be admired and respected by her (apropos the post that inspired this sentiment)#but RTD obviously isn't the most infallible of writers #*cough* [list of reasons I cut down b/c long] *cough*#He can make Martha say “he's not seeing me/he doesn't look at me” but then you just watch with your eyes and you get a different story #It's like the opposite of when Moffat tries to make you believe someone is super important through bold claims without showing his work #instead RTD tries to make you believe Ten is functionally blind to Martha's existence while showing numerous examples of the contrary #then bring in the novels+myspace blog+cartoon that he all signed off on. Which tie together to create a canon backdrop #basically I said all of that to say this—#it's the whole reason I had to make this blog to get this sort of stuff off my chest (even if it's just for me sometimes)—#Ten not only SAW Martha—he trusted+respected+enjoyed+adored her. And it's a good thing #it doesn't cheapen his grief. I feel like people must think it does which is why I constantly see bad unnecessary takes about them #it just means that Martha was SO important to him and it's ok. they had a killer friendship outside the unrequited minutiae and it's ok #there's even a comic where 'someone' makes him believe she's Martha and he makes her change her appearance because “it's still too raw”#Just saying you don't say that sort of thing about someone whose existence you're all blasé about #Martha already gets fucked by the narrative in enough ways without people totally missing her significance in the Doctor's life #you don't have to ship them to appreciate them on a deeper level #anyway. fuck. if you actually read all of these then I'm so sorry #creating this blog has taught me that there are only like two people who feel the same way about tenmartha matters and it’s fine 😂#but if I didn’t give myself an outlet it would probably form a tumor SO there we are then

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necrotic-nephilim · 3 months ago

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for the recent ask game, i’m really curious about your take on 7 + 8 :P

for the choose violence ask game!

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?

i'll be so honest: Jason Todd. i know there's a lot of argument of "who has the worst fans" and i think that question is flawed and impossible to answer, but i will say Jason fans irked me so deeply. because i read mostly 90s era Batfam, i admittedly didn't have a lot of exposure to Jason for a while, expect for his New-52 runs i'd read years ago. and since i never liked him based on those runs, i could not understand *what* his fans liked about him, or where they got some of their headcanons/ideas from. i've never been more baffled. it ranges from "oh i don't agree but you do you, i guess?" to "what character are you talking about i am BAFFLED". and it soured me on Jason for so long that i actually hate read *most* of his pre-Flashpoint appearances just to understand what on earth people liked about him. and now i can say, i love him dearly, but i can also say, i still don't know what character his fans are talking about sometimes. and i hate the fanon version of Jason who feels almost, Deadpool-ified? with this self-aware slapstick humor but a sad soft interior but also sassy and will kill a man it's just. it feels very hollow to me and it has made me almost tempted to block his character tag more than once over the years bc sometimes certain takes make it difficult to even like him. i just have to tune it out or yell about it for hours.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

i'm going to get particularly saucy with this one: that Dick Grayson has Eldest Daughter Syndrome. or more generally, that he was parentified. not a single ounce of Dick's backstory indicates him as being parentified. to be parentified you have to be a child taking care of other children either emotionally or physically because your parents are not fulfilling that role. and Dick was *never* a child at the time that another child was under Bruce's care. he has been an adult for the entirety he has known every other Batkid. and even then, the *only* one he was something you could akin to being a parent figure to was Damian, and Dick *chose* that. Dick was a grown-ass man in his late 20s who had the facilities and capacity to make the decision to be Damian's primary caretaker. he's never been parental toward any of the other Batkids, nor has Bruce ever forced upon him the role of having to raise them. did Bruce do a sort of questionable job with Dick? yeah. but i would argue Bruce did the best job with Dick of all the Batkids, and even if he was shitty with Dick, he couldn't parentify Dick bc there was no one for Dick to be parenting. and Dick wasn't parenting Bruce either. they just had a normal relationship of loving and caring for each other.

as for Eldest Daughter Syndrome i just.. i Do Not Like calling any male character "female coded" or "female rage coded" or "eldest daughter coded" because they're *not*. especially not in *this* medium. these are male characters, created by men, written by men 90% of the time, and written to be *male power fantasies*. nothing about Dick or Jason or any Batboy is female-coded bc they exist to be badass men. just because they show emotion and have complex relationships with Bruce doesn't make them suddenly women. Dick shows his anger in a very destructive, stereotypically "masculine" way. even if we strip it of gender, Dick doesn't exhibit most traits of Eldest Daughter Syndrome. he easily makes relationships with people his age, he has no issues telling Bruce no, he did not have caretaking responsibilities forced onto him by Bruce, he's not even really hyperindependent. Dick has a support system outside of the Bats, the fandom just ignores it. does Dick force caretaking responsibilities onto himself sometimes? can he be an overachiever? absolutely. but these are internal complexes that just come with making a character a superhero, it's a complex they all have. if i have to hear one more fan call him Eldest Daughter Syndrome-core or say he's a victim of parentification, i think I'll explode a little bit.

#necrotic answerings #ask game #this is regarding canon specifically #if you write fanfic where the batkids are taken in younger #and thus dick is parentified that's valid to explore #but that doesn't make it canon #also here's a take i'll hide in the tags:#if someone has a pfp of wfa jason i. tend not to trust their opinion on jason todd.#i'm so sorry i just can't do it.#you can like wfa and enjoy it for what it is do not get me wrong #but using it as your basis for jason is going to make you wildly off the mark #of everyone i think wfa butchers jason the most #who is that man.#why is he there.#metas about jason from wfa perspectives are always missing the mark for me.#that's just my opnion so no one take it *too* seriously but like #man. i've got feelings #also i'm super passionate about the “female coded” thing #like there are women in comics. yk you can read about them. right-#still never getting over the post where someone was like “who do you think is more female rage coded jason or dick i can't decide omg”#and the notes were just people recommending comics with women in them. bout peed myself laughing.#i do think jason is interesting to view through a female lense and same with dick #but you have to understand that will always be fanon. not canon.

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oidheadh-con-culainn · 11 months ago

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i'm sorry i'm not being fun enough on my personal blog which is the only place on the internet i get to just be a person and not have to be professional because it's the only place my colleagues and employers don't follow me but also i'm not sorry because sometimes being grumpy is part of being human and i'm so goddamn tired of having to perform perfection on the internet

#personal #like. yeah. on a good day i would have given a longer and more thoughtful response to the arthuriana ask #but also sometimes you hit a point where you're like. i've said this. i've written this post. it's in the tag already #i don't know what more people want from me that i haven't already given. i can't keep writing the same essays again #i'm not mad at the asker but i also can't do Free Academia On Demand at all times you know?#particularly when arthuriana isn't even my area of research specialism #i am pretty much always happy to answer ulster cycle asks because i always learn something from researching the answers #(or i already know the answers so they're very easy)#but stuff outside of that just feels like work after a while and sometimes i do not have the spoons #i am very glad of cicelythereaper's response. i recommend reading that one.#i'm sorry i couldn't be the one to give it on this occasion but lads. i am so fucking tired #i have so many jobs i have so many chronic illnesses i am so behind on everything in my life

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thawthebeez · 1 month ago

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oikage......... if you carry the one and factor out a four... are a manifestation of the thin line between admiration and jealousy .... i've solved it....🚬

#how there are things they both admire and are jealous of in one another #and how jealousy manifests more in tooru than it does in tobio #and how that shapes how they act towards one another and talk about each other #how tooru sees himself above tobio in social settings but inferior when he's alone due to jealousy #and how tobio sees tooru as an equal* in social settings but above when he's alone. silent admiration #*although the term 'equal' isn't entirely correct. a challenge he can rise to is more accurate #reaching the level of reliability that tooru has is a goal of tobio's. and an achievable one #tooru- however- wants tobio's natural talent. which isn't achievable.#meaning tobio can have admiration for tooru seeing as the thing he's jealous of is an achievable goal #whereas tooru is left with jealousy because the part of tobio he wants is not achievable and therefore he cannot admire him #at least not in the same way tobio can admire tooru #CHAT DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENSE🗣️#god it has taken me so long to figure these two out and i cannot comprehend why #every relationship in haikyuu (everyTHING in haikyuu actually) has a general theme #matches (shiratorizawa v karasuno being a battle of concepts)#relationships (kuroo and kenma being the types of people who push each other and grow together in the discomfort of trying new things)#like. everything has a concept.#kageyama and hinata and their soulmateism and how someone will always match ur freak is just self explanatory #but oikawa and kageyama. despite being a relationship dynamic that intrigues me. their concept has been a mystery to me until now #god i feel like a university professor. spending this much time studying one piece of media for like 9 years #that's right i've got a phd in volleyball series with homoerotic undertones😎#call me dr. beez from now on #my dissertation was on kageyama and hinata's relationship and how it's fucking awesome REAL NOT FAKE #anywho. gonna go listen to lacy by olivia rodrigo and Cry ^_^#olivia rodrigo fans i'm so sorry this is in your tag now IGNORE ME IGNORE ME #volleyball guys

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daz4i · 11 months ago

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how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭#i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that?#'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way?#'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that.#i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer.#so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤)#also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

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trans-leek-cookie · 5 months ago

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I just saw your tags on the unreliable narrator post and I really want to know what character you’re talking about now

Geto Suguru from JJK. I came for the hot Asian guy with long hair and a cool outfit stayed bc I'm interested in how cults and eugenics hurt ppl irl and also how they're explored in fiction. But between heaven and earth I alone am trying to find a fic that actually treats him being a cult leader as the problem it is and also gets fucking Nanako and Mimiko out of their. Uhhh fuck idk if u know JJK so spoilery ranting under the read more that assumes familiarity (so not like. Explaining specific plot shit bc my brain will explode)

so basically ppl have called out the eugenics shit with like "kill everyone who isn't a sorcerer" and generally they're like yeah that sucks but whatever not important lol. And I've seen like 0 shit actually about how he's a cult leader + how cults are Abusive. And some ppl are like "actually he has a point bc blah blah blah" like okay. If sorcerers were a stand in/comparable to real life marginalized groups. WE DONT NEED MORE "MARGINALIZED EUGENICIST" PLOTS. But even within the story they don't seem marginalized? Like, there are Marginalized Sorcerers, but being a Sorcerer isn't something that's consistently oppressed? The closest thing is either misdirected ableism/sanism ("they see things that aren't there and are assumed to be psychotic" which is its own can of worms) or like accusations of witchcraft which... I guess that's sorcerery based on this universe but irl those were usually used either along with or as cover for other shit (racism, misogyny, land grabs, etc). So hes not necessarily marginalized on that level- tho growing up in a family without other sorcerers mightve caused problems for him that's a LOT different from systemic oppression. And, also? In a lot of cases it seems like sorcerers are relatively privileged with a lot of economic, social and maybe political power? Like the big three families are obv examples bc they're fucking Rich and control the sorcery world so. Y'know. Also it's stated at one point sorcerers receive some like exceptions to the law but aren't allowed to hurt ppl who aren't sorcerers so. Yeag

anyways going more in depth on eugenics- okay real quick terms: negative and positive eugenics. That's not in reference to the quality, "positive" doesn't mean "good" But Rather in reference to wether the action is meant to Reduce "bad genes" or Increase "good genes". And obv negative eugenics includes shit like forced sterilization and murder which I don't want to downplay, but positive eugenics is also coercive and fucked up. For example, forcing ppl to have children they don't want. Which isn't Discussed in the series, but the fact is sorcerers a SMALL minority of the population, and they're already having trouble with curses, so. Theoretically sorcerers would be coerced to have more children to bring the population numbers up. Personally I think that's Not Something Suguru Believes In (I'll get into that but main thing is his eugenics isn't an actual strategy but rather lashing out and ego) but like. There's abuse on both sides of the equation no matter what. Eugenics isn't fucking redeemable.

Now onto the cult shit. It's not super expanded on besides needing money and curses to like. Kill ppl or whatever. But my interpretation of Suguru is that he started a cult, and believes in eugenics, because his ego was damaged. Like the trauma impacted him and influenced his actions ofc bc trauma Does That but also I straight up think his ego was bruised and he wants revenge.

Like first of all, the wider context- he's a kid who is alienated from his parents and probably most of the ppl he interacted with due to his abilities, which is understandably damaging esp at a young age.

He is then scouted and labeled as a special grade- he is one of three in Japan and I believe the world, if I'm not misremembering. He is on par with Gojo Satoru (category wise) who. Literally "Gojo Satoru's birth changed the world" like that's a NUTS ego boost to get

Anyway Gojo called the two of them "the strongest" literally pairing them up and positioning them as equals so like. Whoo boy. Also special grade sorcerer is defined as "a sorcerer who could single-handedly take down a nation" which okay! Labeling children as essentially weapons of mass destruction. Normal behavior

Then Toji happens and this random fucking guy beats you up. He kills your best friend and the girl you were escorting. But he doesn't kill you- because of your cursed technique being risky to deal with, but also. Obvious subtext of "you aren't important enough to kill"

Then your friend comes back from the fucking dead. Kills the man who tried to kill him. Discovers entirely me abilities and becomes even more powerful. And you are stagnating, with a technique you fucking hate. Your entire power is the power of Other Things.

So like. Understandly, thought maybe not justifiably, your ego is fucked.

So you start creating a new dichotomy: sorcerers and everyone else. If everyone else is lesser, you still have worth because you're Better than them by virtue of existing.

And then you discover 2 children being abused for the thing you have a victim complex over (<- this is also it's own thing I'll talk about) and you murder a bunch of ppl about it (okay this is a little questionable of My Opinions maybe but I could. Not forgive but understand the mass murder bc there's a lot of shit building up and clearly if 2 young girls being badly abused in a small village that implies the majority of people were either okay with it or unwilling to try and help at all. Anyway it's still Bad but like. Understandble mental breakdown trauma kinda bad for me? Also bc most ppl irl recognize murder as being Bad but are Weirdly Forgiving of bigotry yknow)

Anyway you take over the cult that was doing some other shit and my personal interpretation of this is also an ego thing. Bc lots of cult leaders do it for the money, but a lot of them also do it bc they like the feeling of controlling ppl. And there's essentially 2 levels of the cult- everyday people and the people he considers Family (which includes Mimiko and Nanako, the 2 children from the paragraph above).

On the "everyday people" level, there's a feeling of being a revered religious leader, knowing something they don't (curses exist), and the satisfaction of taking advantage of the people you don't like.

On the Family level, you position yourself as a savior and as The Only One Brave Enough To Do What Must Be Done (eugenics genocide) so even if you aren't the strongest you're still Special.

So that's my main analysis of why he became a cult leader, and now I'm gonna make more comments about why I think his shit is "Ego" rather than a (fucked up) desire to actually help ppl

If you wanted to help sorcerers survive: THE CLANS ARE A MASSIVE FUCKING PROBLEM. They hoard techniques tools and knowledge and the Zen'in clan literally cast out Toji who could've been a fuckin BEAST at dealing with curses. The clans reliance of tradition also generally hinders sorcerers ability to grow and improve in ways that aren't Traditional

When he dies the cult falls apart (which: good) but also the members have different ideals like some of them wanna keep doing eugenics, some of them just wanted Suguru to be powerful, and two of them were basically his adopted kids. If you actually had good intentions: CREATE A PLAN FOR WHEN YOU DIE SO YOUR FOLLOWERS CAN ACTUALLY CARRY OUT YOUR WILL AND HELP PEOPLE INSTEAD OF LETTING THEM INFIGHT

And idk if this is totally Ego or starting to move into a separate thing so I just decided to split it up: even when he was "righteous" his beliefs kinda Sucked

Like "the strong must protect the weak". There are inherent sort of... values being placed there, because weak is negative, not neutral. It's relatively minor, but I think it's important to note with how his beliefs evolve.

It's not like "we need to protect the people who can't protect themselves" it's really reductive. There's weak people and strong people and basically Noblisse Oblige but for strength or whatever which isn't really actual kindness or equality but rather pretty much. Pity.

Also he sorts jujutsu sorcerers into "strong" and everyone else into "weak" for the most part so that's... great worldview my guy. Definitely not going to just worsen your alienation from other ppl

so when he goes to "why should the strong protect the weak?" He jumps to "the strong don't owe anything to the weak, and actually the weak should be Punished For Being Weak" instead of. Just doing something else. Just get a fucking job, my guy

Anyway his plan is just garbage top to bottom total mess morally and logistically and he's a traumatized teen who grew into an abuser and like. The trauma influenced that but there were always fucking problems so it isn't "oh he got hurt and is evil :(" it's "he has some worrying beliefs and his trauma is likely making his emotions and ability to reason unstable, and then he finds an excuse to turn that instability into Violence" like. He's not necessarily abusive bc he's mentally ill or traumatized marginalized he's abusive bc he got to a point in his life where he could justify it to himself and it felt Good

And I just remembered this part: for the characters who interact with him I do enjoy that they still like and love him, even though he fucking sucks, because that's very human. You'll love imperfect people, you'll love horrible ppl who hurt you and/or others, and that isn't irredeemable it's just Human because being a Human and Connecting With Humans is complicated like that

I even like it when they excuse his bad behavior! Bc that's a realistic character flaw, to value the person u consider your friend over the people they hurt! It's not ethical, but it's natural and interesting to explore in fiction.

THE PROBLEM. IS WHEN THE AUTHORS DO NOT TREAT OR ACKNOWLEDGE IT AS A PROBLEM.

Like... listen. Love a relationship where one character sucks and the other character forgives them for the ppl they hurt and just wants their loved one back. The problem is when the writers are like "aww this is so sweet/romantic/beautiful" WHATEVER. Because it's not??

Someone defending their fucking abusive partner/friend/family member, especially when they aren't victims themselves, isn't fucking sweet it's scary, either for them or others!!!! And I want either to see the characters grapple with the way they excuse their loved ones' abuses and how that reflects on them and their morals, or, if the characters don't do that, for the author to acknowledge it as A Flaw!!!! I'd that too much to fucking ask

Especially with cult abuse, I don't want to say it's necessarily treated worse than any other type of abuse, but it feels really hard to find things related to fictional cults that actually acknowledge the Real Life Damage and Abuse cults do instead of having the cult be 1. Faceless evil 2. A joke 3. Fetishized/romanticized. And like all forms of abuse are similarly distorted in media + fiction, but I feel like ive almost never seen cult abuse portrayed respectfully/accurately, especially in fan works

Anyways for the wild TL;DR I think Geto Suguru's personality is comparable to an anti-sjw trans guy who is getting scarily close to Actual Fascist beliefs and is hurting all the people around him and his ex mutuals are like "he's not that bad" when he is That Bad and I'm so fucking mad about what happened to Nanako and Mimiko. If I think about their canon treatment I get so upset I start to have a headache

#Ask to tag #JJK #Cult mention #Abuse mention #Eugenics mention #I wrote mention bc I feel like it's more accurate to a discussion of fictional depictions? I can change that if necessary #Sorry if you don't know about JJK anon I'm fucking obsessed w this guy. I was like ''i want to see his pussy'' and now I'm relistening to a #Podcast discussing cults bc he reignited my dormant special interest. I'm in hell #When (one of) ur favorite character(s) is an objectively awful person in ways that are genuinely fascinating to explore but #The only time they are treated as an Awful Person in fanfic is fucking abuse fetishism. I'm going to start killing the hostages #Anyways I think it's fun to interpret him as a trans man not as like ''haha I support trans wrongs!'' but rather #''theres some interesting narrative + character ideas if u consider this character being gendered femininely but rejecting that #And also it's a good reminder than trans men + ppl assigned female at birth in general can be as toxic dangerous and abusive as #People who were assigned male at birth esp bc they're rarely acknowledged as being capable of the same violence #(which essentially is largely a mixture of bioessentialism and often transmisogyny since trans women r over represented as dangerous)''#And I just. Sometimes you gotta remind ppl that just bc someone was assigned female at birth that doesn't mean they're always going to be a #Victim and never an abuser y'know? Because fanfic writers sure seem to have trouble internalizing that!!!!#And also Togata from fire punch ignited a deep need for trans men who just fucking suck. I need them for my health. I also need to attack #Said trans men for my mental health.#Anyway sorry about the probably disorganized rant I have memory issues. ❤️ I love Suguru and also he should be dug up and shot bc I hate hi

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deadstarsrisingsblog · 1 year ago

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Last line challenge

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or however many you like).

Thank you for the tag @blackkatmagic :D

“Taun We, show our guest to his quarters,” he continues, smoothing the fabric of his tunic with an absent hand. This time, when his eyes flit to the clones, there is no threat in his gaze. Only bland satisfaction.

Surprise, I'm working on the next chapter of Tripping Forward again @alamogirl80 >:)

No pressure tags: @foreverchangingfandomsao3 @cacodaemonia @alamogirl80

#star wars #my writing #snippet #last line challenge #last line game #tag game #tripping forward turning back #tripping forward #I feel like I always tag the same people #I'm so sorry guys I know like exactly six other writers #and the second I try to tag anyone half of them disappear into the void for me #rip

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nerdyfangirlingbooks · 6 months ago

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Every now and then I remember the times I would mention to my flatmate that I was thinking of buying myself something reasonably expensive (that I had been eyeing up for months and had budgeted for) and she'd tell me that I shouldn't spend that much money on something I didn't need and it would be stupid etc etc while she regularly impulse bought things that cost at least as much and she would use once (while complaining that she was under a lot of financial stress and couldn't afford <$3/week for 2 months for a rental washing machine when ours broke). She is... perhaps not my first call for financial advice

#like I get that you're financially stressed but also it feels a bit rich to complain about it when you're on student allowance (not loan)#and your parents still contribute to things for you even though allowance is supposed to be for people whose parents can't afford to help #and you get multiple scholarships a year even though you're technically not eligible for half of them anymore but then as soon as the money #comes in from those you spend it all on a brand new dress for your sister's hen's do picnic because you can't wear the same dress as you #will for the actual hen's night or the wedding. Better buy a full price one at an expensive store instead of looking in a single op shop or #borrowing one from one of your three sisters who are all roughly the same size #god life must be so tough for you getting the same amount of money as the rest of us on student loan except you only have to pay back half #like the only money you have to live off is the same as what the rest of us get + scholarships (plural) plus what you earnt in your summer #internship? how could you possibly survive??#anyway I am NOT a fan of people who are like 'oh you say you have no money for rent but you have a phone?' because that's bullshit #and the whole 'millenials need to stop eating avocado toast so they can buy a house' thing is also bullshit #however. If you pay $60/week for a gym when you have access to the free uni one (or any other gym in the country is like $20)#and you buy uber eats multiple times a week for like $30+ each time despite having a premade meal in the fridge. and you get multiple #scholarships which mean you are arguably among the more well off students. AND you impulse buy things that cost over $100 regularly #then maybe the problem is not that you don't have enough money to split the rental costs of a washing machine (<$3 each/week)#maybe you are just bad with money #which is fine like it's not like it's unfixable it's just annoying when you act like you're worse off than people whose only money is what #they get from student loan each week so they eat beans on rice for dinner for a week #because that's all they could afford (yes I know people who did this. Yes she complained more than them)#so no I don't think I'm gonna be taking financial advice from you babes because one of us has entertained the idea of a budget to help with #finances and it's not you xx #(she turned down offers of financial help/advice/books to borrow from multiple people multiple times. I 100% get that you might not want to #talk to people about it especially your friends but we had multiple books on finances lying around the flat which she always said she didn't #need. And then she'd continue to complain that she didn't have enough money #god forbid you suggest something like going to a cheaper gym (or worse. The perfectly fine free uni gym!)#again. Her gym cost $60/week for most of last year until they brought in a student discount which was 'only' $45/week #the next most expensive gym chain I can find costs maybe $30/week for the highest membership level #to get what she was getting she would only need like a $20 membership #BUT to be fair she wouldn't get such strong culty vibes at any other gym #lol anyway sorry for the rant. I could keep going but apparently you can only have 30 tags and this is the last one

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just-nebularomantic-things · 9 months ago

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Nebularomantic culture is not feeling like you belong.

You don’t want to be grouped in with the allos because you have your own unique experience and love embracing your identity, but you also don’t feel like you’re “aro enough” because of the fact that your identity causes you to love more rather than love less… doesn’t help how heated things can get in the aspec community and even just watching from the sidelines makes you anxious..

❀

#aroace discourse is a scourge to us all....#I'm sorry you're feeling so divided #when i started this blog I wondered if I even should tag posts as ace or not #in the end i did #because while it is not entirely a total lack or romantic attraction #it is different than amatanormative romantic love.#and bonding over that is what the aro community should be about right?#aro #aromatic #aspec #nebularomantic #submission #thank you as always anon!#I'm happy to see people submitting things #it makes me feel like i am not alone in my feelings....#I hope this blog has the same effect to others :)

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dootznbootz · 11 months ago

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There's something so specifically infuriating when someone uses one of your experiences or your demographic in an argument, especially if said argument is about spreading hatred or is just so wrong. They "speak on behalf of the ___" to say such fucked shit.

"You're not thinking of the ___!"

"I literally am ___. You saying that adds nothing as you do not speak for me or for other ___. Shut up."

#I really really hate it. It angers me in such a specific way that just skldjf ksdl #...#vent below. idk. I'm really sorry #Mad rambles #Terfs will be like “oh think of survivors! 'MEN' can share women's spaces!” like shut the actual fuck up. SHUT UP. Shut your damn mouth #A terf is so much more dangerous than a trans person. Me. a tiny cis woman is so much more dangerous to a terf than a transperson is.#Because I will obliterate you. How dare you say you speak on MY behalf? As if I don't know what I'm fucking talking about.#as if you're “protecting me” by spewing such bullshit? by treating someone as a danger when they're not?!#Especially when they believe it's a fucking TRUMP CARD. Like mentioning it means they're right!!! when obviously they're not!!!#Or when they think the fact that I'm cis will make me agree with them! I'm cis simply because I am. I'm not better or worse because of it #being cis doesn't mean I'm fine with bullshit though!#I really hate feeling almost as if like...idk I'm “known” for talking about this but it's just so so infuriating. people will act like they #know when they don't. Obviously every experience is different and terfs who are survivors I hope you find peace and my heart goes out to yo #but you also need to get your fucking head outta your ass. Saying such things isn't the way to heal and you're hurting others with it.#It's NOT about hating men or trans people! the “men are always violent/women are always victims” mentality needs to fuck off #as if it's just the script of life and that it's inescapable no matter what. that it's the truth even if circumstances say otherwise.#...I'm going to possibly block the epic tag for a bit. I have the name of the saga blocked but like... It's just genuinely upsetting.#my story got picked apart too on how it wasn't actually that bad. that I'm actually the fucking worst. “Men are just like that sweetie”#BULLSHIT!!! Gender doesn't dictate a person's morals. Being good and kind does. It doesn't matter what form that takes!#not even saying HE'S good and kind as he's horrible and wonderful at the same time but about this stuff? Do what you want but #I DO think you're insane if you see it as otherwise and it makes me wanna lock my door. You're not a bad person probably but also 🙃#I get that there's history but there's also the fucking TEXT.#I don't know. I'm really sorry #tw trauma #tw sa mention #I'm not necessarily against reblogging this (I don't care) but don't post with tags. please

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moinsbienquekaworu · 2 years ago

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It's 2pm, my city's pride parade starts at 2pm in a part of town that's like 20 minutes away in public transportation, my best friend said we would go together but they made other plans for this afternoon so I'm going alone, and it's raining. Do I even bother.

#i swear i love them they're great but it's always 50/50 on if they'll actually be available with no issues or not #we made those plans months ago!!!!!!! MONTHS!!#and yesterday they go oh btw uh i'm hanging out with x i'm not available #like holy shit. holy shit!! did we or did we not make plans a while back to go together!!!#i'm sorry last time it was the same friend who needed medical help and they just didn't show at our meetup #but hey. someone needed to go to the hospital i think? so like. it's impossible to plan for and really urgent #but this time!! like please come on if you're not going to write down when you have plans what's the point of making plans!!!!#deep breath.#AND IT'S RAINING!!! THE WEATHER IS SHIT AND I DONLT HAVE ANYONE TO GO WITH!!!!!#that's really unfair cause i've been hypee for this for a while and i don't even feel motivated #like. if i'm going to be sopping wet and alone what's the point #i can just eat the candy & biscuits i bought for this at home where it's warm & dry #& i'm not alone in a crowd of people in groups #wow i have a ramble tag now

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forever-nerdsrope · 19 days ago

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yearning to be in a relationship again fuckkkk can't do this

#i dont miss him. but i do miss those days.#enjoying eachothers presence is silence. the physical touch. knowing someone so intimately you can silently communicate #this doesn't need to just be attatched to romantic of course. platonic soulmates and all that #but i feel like all my bonds are destroyed. crumbled all the way to the source. i don't know if i can make those bonds again #so i pretend i could. i see these creators and believe that i could create those bonds with them. i become someone that'd be in their spher #but i also see the reality that. if i was in their sphere it'd take the same work i'd need to create bonds now.#and the source is rotten. the source can't create bonds. so i'm stuck to float and yearn.#stuck getting high to let my imagination run wild without the nagging. without reality setting in.#and i'm not even getting high cause i got no weed </3 and it's 2am I can't order any. and it's 20$ to order #So I'll stew here and go stockpile weed tomorrow. knowing i'm feeding into my addiction.#But maybe once I'm able to start working more and finals are over I'll be able to cut back.#Maybe When I feel I can connect with people again I'll cut back. I won't be here forever #temporary setback. that's alright. I'll figure it out eventually. Big man did after all. So can I #haha projection go hard. Sorry I try not to. That's a lie but idk.#The reality is we make jokes from some sort of reality #The reality is everyone is struggling and fucked up and cope in different ways.#And no matter how many layers of personas you put up there will always be a thread of truth.#Or maybe I'm fucking insane and projecting. Who knows. I wouldn't I don't know him.#But psychology and data extrapolation is my passion <3 #God the ADHD is strong with the connection of thought process in this one. I always laugh looking at my tags #Whatever we live and vibe yahooo #I'm okay I'm just in a yapping contemplative mood lol

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heartshapedcreaturefromcriptoon · 6 months ago

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Okay but also ... How it feels to have CW Supernatural fans with studio ghibli icons and tumblr badges try to passive aggressively bully you for sharing your experience as a Hazbin Hotel fan trying to ship an asexual character on a post that they made about fandom ship culture, certain actors being obnoxious, and basically, bullying, and they were getting along with Anne Rice Fans (of which you also are one) and letting them talk about their shit just fine, and after all, they're referencing Supernatural so you thought they'd know how to be humble and that you would be safe with them, but you weren't. Because unlike Amir Talai talking about Alastor, you actually had the balls to tag the Hazbin Shipping Discourse Tea on your reblog of the post that OP made about shipping culture (and bullying), that they somewhat already related back to CW Supernatural Fandom Discourse... And now you can just feel all of those nasty, negative energies coming at you at once for speaking your truth like you're Louis De Pointe du Lac at the end of the Interview with The Vampire Season 2 Finale, so you decided to just go ahead and eat those basic bitches all up before they have another chance to mumble in the margins of the tags about how badly they wanna try eat you or kill you or something, instead of just coming at you directly, saying what they mean, or giving you a cyber stink eye instead of just ignoring you entirely or learning how to use a damn block button...

And oh you did, you did eat them... It's just all so nasty and tasted like a Supernatural Tummy Ache and you're just kind of exhausted now because for some reason, the very nature of just safely trying to exist anywhere at all as a Hazbin Hotel Fan (even within the fandom itself, sometimes) just has to be so draining and exhausting ...!

*Raises my head to be perfectly straight without moving the rest of my body* For the sake of spreading positively though @zaebeecee , I'm currently at least 5 chapters into 'To Sever A Loveless Bond' and finding it lovely so far! ^_^ ❤️ And @fletchingbrilliant (s)' illustrations for it are beautifully brilliant as always! ^_^ 💜 X.O

Actual footage of myself

Art by 3330kt

#Hazbin Hotel #hazbin hypocritical #luna replies to people #art #undescribed #anti culture #anti anti #fandom fuckery #fandom bullying #But an implied #cw supernatural #fangirl actually trying to do that might as well be a freaking harry potter fangirl trying to be a bully 2 a Hazbin Fan like sorry it didn'#work honey it's not the same and I'm aware of my own worth you cant shame me but I'm sorry you were so delulu that you hated yourself #like that once ... Couldn't be me though ... <3 #I'm okay just a little tired I found a link to watch Venom: Let There be Carnage for shits and giggles and then I watched a bunch of #Trashy youtube gossip channels and now I'm eating a roast beef sub with gravy and melted mozzarella and sipping a root beer I'm fine... <3 #But also why do #tenderqueer #vivziepop antis #always tell you to eat food as a bullying tactic and think it's an own?#Like bitch I'm trying to eat something if I didn't have you talking at me right now?!#Hazbin Hotel Fans I LOVE YOU!!!! <3 X.O #The fact that the first tag that popped up there when I typed that was 'Hazbin Hotel Fans dni'...#Like the little bitches on this website who will come to you and condescendingly tell you to leave your house and buy sweets for a specific #amount of money to “Feel Better” TM when you were already at home just trying to eat your damn dinner and not be bothered ...#That's like byproduct of consuming nothing but Ghibli movies for fucks sake ...#Case and Point the fast food drive thru meme the Snooty Cat Girl Who Thinks She's Gigi responded to me with ...#Like no bitch I'M the Gigi in this situation ... You and that other bitch are the snooty witch and cat on the broom who turned their noses #up when I crossed your path who do you think you're fooling?!

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