#i feel like he would emoty my mind from everything

[maxtermind]

absolutely loved ‘baby, would i still be your lover’, everyone single one got me in my feels! i was wondering would you consider doing a part 2? whether it ends in angst or fluff

I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

★ : summary :: when he accidentally insults you during an argument- aftermath ★ : feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris ★ : genre :: hurt/comfort, hints of angst ★ : word count :: 4.3k ★ : a/n :: thank you so much for the love on part 1 💓 some of these have open ending so you can pick whether you'd like to forgive them or not as a reader!! feedback is appreciated :)

( part 1 )

Max Verstappen

You sighed as you sat down to have your morning tea as usual, trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. As if you hadn't spent all night long getting your phone spammed with calls that you were ignoring.

After mindlessly roaming around for a bit, you eventually decided to crash at your best friend’s place. You lazily waved at her as she frantically got ready to leave for work. However, you were on your tiptoe as soon as the door opened.

A body that was possibly sleeping while leaning against the door fell inside and you heard curses that you were quite too familiar with. Your heart clenched at the sight of your boyfriend - or perhaps now, your ex-boyfriend - on his knees, nursing the wound on his head. The ache of seeing him in pain reignited the anguish you thought you had left behind.

“Okay,” you heard your friend murmur. “I'm gonna let you guys get to it.” She was out the door a second later.

You looked at the closed door instead of the man who was desperately trying to make eye contact with you.

“How long have you…” You trailed off before deciding that you didn't want to know.

“As soon as you turned your phone off, Y/N! I've been here since last night.” "Why?" you choked out, the words barely escaping your lips as tears threatened to overflow. His brows furrowed before he ran his hands over his face and got up to sit right next to you. You saw his hand itching toward yours and instinctively pulled it towards your body. "Because I needed to see you in person, to talk." He took another deep breath and you later realized that he was trying to stop himself from crying. “I realize I messed up, baby. I.. I never should have let you walk out.” But his attempt to mend the shattered pieces of your relationship only served to reopen the wounds, your walls instinctively rising in defense,"Talk? You think a talk is going to fix everything?" Max's eyes were filled with a mix of regret and desperation as he reached out for your hand, his fingers trembling slightly. "No, I don't think a talk will magically fix everything," he admitted, his voice raw with emotion.

"But it's a start. I need you to know that I'm truly sorry for what happened. I hate myself for hurting you, for making you doubt how much you mean to me."

You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, the pain of the previous night still too fresh in your mind.

“How can I trust you again, Max? How can I be sure that this won't happen again?" Your voice was barely a whisper, filled with the ache of betrayal.

Max's grip on your hand tightened, his eyes pleading for understanding. "I know I've messed up, Y/N. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. I'll work on my temper, I’ll be better to you, I'll do anything you ask of me. I just need you to give me another chance." “You know you’ve always been the best to me, right? I just can’t believe that instead of talking it out yesterday, you straight up skipped to breaking up wit-” Fresh tears started falling down your cheeks. Max immediately leaned forward to hold you in his arms and you let him because you needed him. But how could you trust him again? How could you be sure that history wouldn't repeat itself? That he won’t throw away your whole relationship just because the anger got a hold of him? As Max held you close, you felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over you. Part of you wanted to push him away, to scream and shout at him for causing you so much pain. But another part of you craved his warmth, his touch, his presence.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Max whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I know I messed up, and I hate myself for it. I never meant to hurt you, I swear."

You buried your face in his chest, the tears soaking through his shirt as you struggled to make sense of your feelings.

“I just don't know if I can do this anymore, Max," you admitted, your voice muffled against him. Max tightened his embrace, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "I understand," he murmured, his voice gentle. His admission eased your thumping heart a bit, you were glad to have him back. The storm within you finding a momentary calm.

"I made you feel like our relationship was disposable, like breaking up was no big deal. But that couldn't be further from the truth. You're the most important person in my life, baby and the thought of losing you terrifies me. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to show you just how much you mean to me. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust if you still want me."

Lewis Hamilton

The weight of Lewis's words hung heavy in the air, suffocating you as you retreated into the sanctuary of your bedroom. Tears streamed down your cheeks unchecked, your heart aching with a pain you couldn't quite comprehend. How had a day that started with such a promise turned into this? You buried your face in your hands, the sting of Lewis's words feeling like acid running through your veins.

Outside the door, the silence was deafening, broken only by the muffled sound of your sobs. Lewis stood frozen in place, his mind racing as he replayed the exchange in his head.

He couldn't believe the words that had escaped his lips, couldn't fathom how he had allowed his frustration to morph into such hurtful remarks.

Minutes stretched into eternity as Lewis grappled with the weight of his actions, the gravity of his words settling like a lead weight in his chest.

He wanted to reach out to you, to apologize and make things right, but his feet remained rooted to the spot, paralyzed by the magnitude of his mistake.

Inside the bedroom, you were consumed by a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Anger, hurt, betrayal - they all swirled together into an ugly monster, threatening to engulf you whole.

How could the man you loved, the man who had always been your rock, turn on you with such venom?

But beneath the anger and hurt, there was a flicker of doubt, a gnawing fear that maybe Lewis's words held a grain of truth. Maybe you were too insecure, too needy, too demanding. Maybe you were asking for too much, expecting him to be there for you when he had his own priorities and responsibilities. Maybe-

The sound of a soft knock on the door snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked up to see Lewis standing there, his expression wrought with regret and guilt. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the unspoken apology hanging heavy in the air. Looking at him distraught made your chest feel worse. How could he make you feel ten fold worse than this and not feel a thing? 

"I'm sorry," Lewis finally whispered, his voice barely audible. "I didn't mean what I said. I was out of line, and I know I hurt you. Please, let me make it right." He rushed through the words.

His words pierced through the haze of your pain, and you felt a bit of heaviness leaving your body. He crossed the room in a few strides, dropping to his knees in front of you, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. 

"I don't know what came over me," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion before your boyfriend took your hand away from your face and kissed your cheeks. "I was so caught up in my own frustrations that I lashed out at you, and I hate myself for it. You don't deserve to be treated that way, especially not by me."

You studied his face, searching for any sign of insincerity, but all you saw was genuine remorse and regret. And despite the pain still raw in your chest, you couldn't deny the love you felt for him, the longing to mend what had been broken between you. “You hurt me,” you whispered but didn’t push him away as he laid down with you, holding you close to his chest. Some of your resolve wavering when you felt his fast heartbeat. “I wanted you there so much.” He nodded as he shushed you, his own eyes dropping tears. “I’m so so sorry, baby. I can't even begin to express how deeply I regret the way I acted the whole day, I know you deserve so much more but-” You shifted slightly, knowing all that you wanted right now was comfort, you didn't want to forgive him or minimize the weight of his actions. "I don't know if I can right now," you replied, your voice trembling with the weight of your emotions.

Lewis's eyes brimmed with tears as he whispered, "Please don't shut me out. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

You felt a pang of guilt at the pain evident in his voice. "I just need some time to process everything," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

"I understand," Lewis replied, his tone filled with sorrow. "But please know that I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."

You nodded, silently acknowledging his words as you allowed yourself to be enveloped in his comforting embrace. 

"I promise to make it up to you," Lewis vowed earnestly, his voice laced with determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust."

"I want to believe you," you admitted quietly, your heart heavy with uncertainty. Everything was a little too raw right now and your emotions were all over the place.

"I'll spend every moment proving it to you," Lewis declared, his eyes locking with yours in a silent vow.

“I was thoughtless and cruel today, and I never should have let those words leave my lips. You are not insecure, you are strong and resilient, baby. You deserve so much better than the hurtful words I spoke. Please know that I can’t lose you, Y/N. I will work tirelessly to regain your trust and rebuild what I have so carelessly shattered. You mean the world to me, and I will spend every moment striving to be worthy of your love.”

Carlos Sainz

As you sat nervously in your childhood home, the familiar sights and sounds providing little comfort, your mind raced with thoughts of disappointment and hurt.

For the third time, Carlos had failed to join you in meeting your parents, leaving you to face their questioning looks and unspoken concerns alone. You had rehearsed what you would say to them, how you would explain his absence, but each time, the words caught in your throat, choked by a mixture of frustration and sadness. For the past few days since you walked out of your apartment, you had been ignoring Carlos’ attempts to reconcile with you. The calls and texts he spammed you with were ignored and curses left your mouth as soon as your mind went back to the day of the argument, bringing unwanted tears to your eyes.

In the passing, you saw a Ferrari conference being conducted and as much as you wanted to reach out and talk it out with him, your heart did flips that you were sure you should have visited a doctor for.

Your parents, ever perceptive, noticed your unease as you fidgeted with the napkin in your lap, casting worried glances in your direction. You tried to muster a reassuring smile, but it faltered, betraying the turmoil within you.

How could you explain to them that the man you loved couldn't find the time to meet them, despite his promises and assurances? "What's wrong, sweetie?" your mom asked, concern evident in her voice.

You sighed, hesitating for a moment before replying, "It's Carlos... He like…"

Your dad's brow furrowed. "Is everything okay?"

You tried to muster a reassuring smile. "Yeah, he said that he got caught up with work. You know how busy he is with his racing and all..." Your dad’s brows furrowed when you trailed off, about to ask you what exactly you meant but just as you were steeling yourself to broach the subject, the doorbell rang, startling you from your thoughts.

Your heart sank as you realized it was likely a neighbor stopping by to meet you since you don’t visit that often, you stood up to go greet them. But then, to your disbelief, you heard his voice drifting through the door, before you saw your boyfriend standing right behind it. Your head titled in confusion and you drew a breath that took most of the stress from the previous days away from your body.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, his tone apologetic yet determined. Carlos took your hand and kissed it lightly,"Traffic was a nightmare." “What about the conference that you-” “You’re the most important person in my life, Y/N.” He cut you off before pulling you in and walking to the dining room that was in his vision. As if that was the answer to your question.

You turned to face him, your eyes wide with surprise and a flicker of hope. There he was, looking slightly disheveled but undeniably earnest, his gaze that locked on yours was as if it was seeking forgiveness. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the regret etched in the lines of his face.

Your parents exchanged a glance, their expressions softening as they took in the sight of Carlos standing before them. 

Despite their reservations about his repeated absences, they couldn't deny the genuine affection that Carlos held in his eyes when he looked at you.

Before you could find the words to respond, Carlos took a step forward, his hand reaching out tentatively. "I'm really sorry, both of you," he said, addressing your parents directly.

"I know how important this is to you, and I should have made more of an effort to be here on time."

His words hung in the air, a silent acknowledgment of his shortcomings and a pledge to do better. You felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you, a mixture of relief, gratitude, and a glimmer of renewed faith in your relationship. "Well, we're just glad you could make it," your dad said, offering Carlos a handshake.

"Thank you for coming, Carlos," your mother said, her voice warm yet cautious. "We understand that life gets busy, but it's important to make time for the people who matter most."

Carlos nodded, his expression earnest as he met her gaze. "I couldn't agree more. Family means putting in effort, I promise to make it up to all of you."

As you sat down to dinner, the atmosphere was tinged with a sense of reconciliation and hope. Your hand still intertwined with his as you saw him charm your family. Despite the rocky start, Carlos's presence brought a newfound sense of unity and understanding to the table. And as you shared stories and laughter, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to mend what had seemed irreparably broken.

In that moment, you realized that love wasn't just about grand gestures or sweeping declarations—it was about the everyday moments of connection and compromise, the willingness to forgive and grow together.

And as you looked at Carlos, his eyes filled with determination and affection, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand.

Charles Leclerc

Charles had apologized right after he had said those words and though you had both fallen back into routine, the underlying bitterness and resentment was still present. You weren’t the one initiating any kind of affection from your side and every time Charles was initiating anything, you half assed your way out of it. Was it childish? Probably. But you were still not comfortable with how easily you had forgiven Charles, burying your hurt just to avoid conflict once again despite knowing deep down that he has hurt you probably more than anyone else ever has. These thoughts were running through your head as you sat beside Charles, your heart still heavy with the weight, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the air. Especially because Charles seemed distant, his mind preoccupied with thoughts, that you couldn't help but wonder what exactly they were. Why had he even asked to go on a date today? To break up with you? Suddenly, Pippa appeared, her presence causing the knot to form in your stomach to get tighter. She approached with a confident stride, a charming smile gracing her lips as she greeted Charles with a hug.

"Hey, Charlie!" Pippa exclaimed, her eyes flickering briefly in your direction before returning to Charles. "Long time no see!"

Charles returned her hug, though his embrace seemed somewhat forced. "Hey, Pippa. Yeah, it's been a while." 

You observed their interaction closely, your unease growing with each passing moment. Pippa's presence always seemed to unsettle you, and you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to their friendship than met the eye. Was he gonna break up with you in public and confess his years long feelings for Pippa? Charles glanced at you, his expression softening as he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I was just out with Y/N today."

You couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth at his actions, his affectionate gesture soothing some of the tension that had been building between you.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," Pippa said, offering you a friendly smile. "Sorry I didn’t see you next to Charlie."

You returned her smile, though it didn't quite reach your eyes and managed to reply without gagging. "Nice to meet you, Pippa." Charles tightened his grip on your hand, silently reassuring you of his presence and support. "We were just grabbing a coffee," he explained, his gaze flickering between you and Pippa. "Care to join us?"

Pippa hesitated for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly as she glanced at you before turning back to Charles. "Actually, I was hoping we could catch up alone, if that's okay."

You felt a pang of anxiety at her words, a sense of foreboding settling in the pit of your stomach. Despite your reservations, you nodded, forcing a smile as you released Charles's hand. It was better to walk away yourself than to have Charles dismiss you.

"Of course," you said, though your voice sounded strained even to your own ears. "I'll wait for you outside."

Charles shot you an alarmed look as you stood up,”I’ll see you in a few.” Charles’ hand lingered on yours for a moment longer before you reluctantly let go and made your way to the door.

You leaned against your car and enjoyed the wind for a second. You couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of the exchange between your boyfriend and his best friend sitting inside.

You were half scared to find them kissing or something but, instead a sense of confusion washed over you as you watched the way Pippa was angrily point a finger at Charles and scream at him.

It was a second later when she stormed out before making her way towards you.

"Is he doing this because of you?!" Pippa's accusatory tone sent a shiver down your spine, her words hitting too close to home.

Before you could even process what was happening, Charles emerged from the cafe, his expression determined as he approached you and Pippa.

"Go home, Pippa," he said firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument as he intertwined his hand with yours.

Pippa's eyes blazed with anger, her fists clenched at her sides as she glared at Charles. "You will regret this, Charles!" she spat before storming off, leaving you both standing there in stunned silence.

Once Pippa was out of sight, you turned to Charles, your heart pounding in your chest. "What was that all about?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

Charles sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked at you with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, Y/N. Pippa has been... difficult lately."

You frowned, your mind reeling with confusion and frustration. "Difficult how?"

Charles hesitated for a moment, his gaze searching yours as if trying to find the right words. "She's been pushing boundaries, trying to come between us. But I won't let her." 

"Hey," he continued, taking your hand in his. "I told Pippa that I wouldn't be spending time with her alone anymore. If she can't accept you, then it's better for us to not be friends at all."

You blinked in surprise, a rush of gratitude flooding through you at his words. "Really?"

Charles nodded, squeezing your hand gently. "Really. You're the most important person in my life, and I won't let anyone come between us."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. "Thank you, Charles. I appreciate you standing up for us."

He smiled softly, squeezing your hand reassuringly. "I'll always stand up for us, Y/N. You mean everything to me."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you threw your arms around him, holding him close. Despite the lingering bitterness and resentment, you couldn't deny the overwhelming love you felt for him in that moment.

Lando Norris

As you stepped out of the taxi, the cool night air enveloped you, offering a moment of respite from the whirlwind of emotions that had engulfed you throughout the evening.

Your heart still felt heavy with the weight of Lando's hurtful words, but beneath the pain, a numbness resided- knowing deep down that you might’ve just broken up with your boyfriend.

Before you could take another step, you heard the sound of hurried footsteps approaching from behind. Turning around, you saw Lando rushing towards you, his eyes filled with remorse and his expression wrought with sorrow. Your hand instinctively went to your chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of your heart.

"Y/N, please wait," he called out, his voice pleading as he reached your side, breathless from his haste.

You pulled your face to meet his eyes, uncertainty and wariness etched into your features as you met his gaze. Part of you yearned to turn away, to shield yourself from the pain of his words, but another part couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, he was sincere in his apology.

"Lando," you said softly, your voice tinged with a mixture of hurt and apprehension. You wanted to say more but the damn ball in your throat stopped you doing so.

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours as he searched for the right words to express the depth of his regret. "I know I messed up, Y/N. I hurt you, and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that."

His words washed over you like a soothing balm, offering a sliver of comfort. But still, you couldn't bring yourself to let go of the hurt that lingered in your heart.

"I should have been there for you tonight, supporting you and showing you how much you mean to me," Lando continued, his voice filled with genuine remorse. "Instead, I let my own selfishness and insecurities get in the way, and for that, I am truly sorry."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to him, the sincerity in his voice echoing the ache in your own heart. You were sure you’ll regret letting go of this amazing relationship without at least attempting to work on it.

Despite the pain he had caused you, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance to rebuild what had been broken.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right away, Y/N," Lando said softly, his hands shaking and showcasing the intensity of his vulnerability.

"I know I have a lot of work to do to earn back your trust and your love. But please, just give me a chance to make things right. I promise to do whatever it takes to show you how much you mean to me, every single day for the rest of my life."

His words hung in the air, heavy with sincerity and remorse, leaving you torn between the desire to hold onto the pain of the past and the hope for a brighter future. As you gazed into his eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity or deceit, all you found was raw honesty and unwavering devotion.

With a heavy heart and a flicker of hope, you reached out to take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. "I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you just yet, Lando," you whispered, your voice trembling with uncertainty.

Lando takes a step closer, gently cupping your face in his hands. "I'll spend every moment proving I'm worthy of your love, Y/N. Let me show you how much you mean to me, starting from this moment. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, even if it means giving you the space you need. Just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready."

( writing masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

[bluecookiedisaster]

I see you also own

Honeyburton and Honron!

Yes, they provide beekeepers

for our farms.

Beekeeper. I find that

to be a very disturbing term.

I don't imagine you employ

any bee-free-ers, do you?

- No.

- I couldn't hear you.

- No.

- No.

Because you don't free bees.

You keep bees. Not only that,

it seems you thought a bear would be

an appropriate image for a jar of honey.

They're very lovable creatures.

Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.

You mean like this?

Bears kill bees!

How'd you like his head crashing

through your living room?!

Biting into your couch!

Spitting out your throw pillows!

OK, that's enough. Take him away.

So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here.

Your name intrigues me.

- Where have I heard it before?

- I was with a band called The Police.

But you've never been

a police officer, have you?

No, I haven't.

No, you haven't. And so here

we have yet another example

of bee culture casually

stolen by a human

for nothing more than

a prance-about stage name.

Oh, please.

Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?

Because I'm feeling

a little stung, Sting.

Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!

That's not his real name?! You idiots!

Mr. Liotta, first,

belated congratulations on

your Emmy win for a guest spot

on ER in 2005.

Thank you. Thank you.

I see from your resume

that you're devilishly handsome

with a churning inner turmoil

that's ready to blow.

I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?

Not yet it isn't. But is this

what it's come to for you?

Exploiting tiny, helpless bees

so you don't

have to rehearse

your part and learn your lines, sir?

Watch it, Benson!

I could blow right now!

This isn't a goodfella.

This is a badfella!

Why doesn't someone just step on

this creep, and we can all go home?!

- Order in this court!

- You're all thinking it!

Order! Order, I say!

- Say it!

- Mr. Liotta, please sit down!

I think it was awfully nice

of that bear to pitch in like that.

I think the jury's on our side.

Are we doing everything right, legally?

I'm a florist.

Right. Well, here's to a great team.

To a great team!

Well, hello.

- Ken!

- Hello.

I didn't think you were coming.

No, I was just late.

I tried to call, but... the battery.

I didn't want all this to go to waste,

so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.

Oh, that was lucky.

There's a little left.

I could heat it up.

Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.

So I hear you're quite a tennis player.

I'm not much for the game myself.

The ball's a little grabby.

That's where I usually sit.

Right... there.

Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,

and he agreed with me that eating with

chopsticks isn't really a special skill.

You think I don't see what you're doing?

I know how hard it is to find

the rightjob. We have that in common.

Do we?

Bees have 100 percent employment,

but we do jobs like taking the crud out.

That's just what

I was thinking about doing.

Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor

for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.

I'm going to drain the old stinger.

Yeah, you do that.

Look at that.

You know, I've just about had it

with your little mind games.

- What's that?

- Italian Vogue.

Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.

A lot of ads.

Remember what Van said, why is

your life more valuable than mine?

Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!

I think something stinks in here!

I love the smell of flowers.

How do you like the smell of flames?!

Not as much.

Water bug! Not taking sides!

Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat!

This is pathetic!

I've got issues!

Well, well, well, a royal flush!

- You're bluffing.

- Am I?

Surf's up, dude!

Poo water!

That bowl is gnarly.

Except for those dirty yellow rings!

Kenneth! What are you doing?!

You know, I don't even like honey!

I don't eat it!

We need to talk!

He's just a little bee!

And he happens to be

the nicest bee I've met in a long time!

Long time? What are you talking about?!

Are there other bugs in your life?

No, but there are other things bugging

me in life. And you're one of them!

Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...

My nerves are fried from riding

on this emotional roller coaster!

Goodbye, Ken.

And for your information,

I prefer sugar-free, artificial

sweeteners made by man!

I'm sorry about all that.

I know it's got

an aftertaste! I like it!

I always felt there was some kind

of barrier between Ken and me.

I couldn't overcome it.

Oh, well.

Are you OK for the trial?

I believe Mr. Montgomery

is about out of ideas.

We would like to call

Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.

Good idea! You can really see why he's

considered one of the best lawyers...

Yeah.

Layton, you've

gotta weave some magic

with this jury,

or it's gonna be all over.

Don't worry. The only thing I have

to do to turn this jury around

is to remind them

of what they don't like about bees.

- You got the tweezers?

- Are you allergic?

Only to losing, son. Only to losing.

Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you

what I think we'd all like to know.

What exactly is your relationship

to that woman?

We're friends.

- Good friends?

- Yes.

How good? Do you live together?

Wait a minute...

Are you her little...

...bedbug?

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

[moonlisid]

THE CONQUEROR'S CROWN

MASTERLIST | Part 1 ; Part 2 ; Part 3 ; Part 4

GIF CREDIT

Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x FemOC!Velaryon (Strong)

Summary: The secret of their relationship is out in the worst time possible, but Visaella does not seem to care. Drown into her own madness, the rage of her grief blinded her and left her thirsty for vengeance. Now she will not rest until she gets her revenge.

Tags/TW: death of multiple characters, blood mention, murder, angst, sexual content (nothing too explicit), death threats, grief, mentions of forced marriage, typical sexism of the time, visaella lost her mind, insanity (?), violence, cursing, aegon is emotially attached to the oc, if there's anything else, pls let me know!

Author's Note: we reached the end. everything that is written with cursive are memories, just so you know. firstly, i'm sorry. secondly, the gif is how i imagined Visaella while writing the story, but you are free to picture her as you wish. thirdly, perhaps i will write some blurbs about the happy moments between these two bc it will be a closure to me lmao. lastly, thank you for reading this story and enjoying it as much as i enjoyed writing it, i hope the end make justice to the rest of the story.

Word Count: 16.1k

Taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @clairacassidy @alexandra-001 @stormgirlfriendd @kravitzwhore @poppyflower-22 @bellameshipper

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Two tired and sweaty bodies were laying on top of a big blanket in the middle of the woods. They were smiling and throwing breathless laughs to the air, exhausted and overwhelmed. They were lost, living in their own world as they usually did whenever they were alone. The fire beside them made them feel warm so their naked bodies did not feel an inch of cold.

Anyone can start again Not through love, but through revenge. Through the fire, we're born again, Peace by vengeance brings the end.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Aegon turned in order to kiss her delicately, muttering sweet words against her lips, touching the soft skin of her legs while suspiring, utterly enamored by the girl under him. He leaned back afterwards, only to see her rosy cheeks and glossy lavender haze. A soft smile was made on her face once he saw the messy hair of her lover, produced by her own hands. They were like that for a couple minutes, with silly smiles decorating their faces while staring at each other with complete devotion. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“I never thought we would be able to do this outside the castle.” Aegon confessed, biting his lip trying to hide his excited smile. “I thought I wouldn’t see you until my father’s next name day.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“But here we are.” She said, “Together, and alone. And for the first time, without being scared of someone finding us.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“You’re a genius, my love.” He left multiple kisses on her face, she chuckled due to the tickles his soft peachy lips produced. “How did you even find this place?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“I saw it on the map on Dragonstone.” She shrugged, “Then, one day, I took Vermithor here and found that cave where he perfectly fits with Sunfyre. It’s right in the middle of Dragonstone and King’s Landing, and far from the Kingsroad. It’s perfect.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“It is as if the Gods gifted this place to us.” He spoke with a dreamy voice. Visaella nodded, tangling her legs between her lover’s.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“I guess we should thank them.” She muttered, kissing him once again.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Aegon cupped her face, starting to leave subtle kisses all over it. Her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, her forehead, her lips. Every single part of her face was kissed by him while she only could hum and whimper delicate words to him. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎He pulled away and stared down at her, his eyes glistening with a glow that she had never seen in another man's eyes, but she liked the way it made her feel.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“What?” She asked teasingly. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Aegon shook his head softly, 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“I don’t think I'm ever going to get tired of seeing your face.” Aegon whispered. The silence of the night was only interrupted by the sound of his voice, and the breathing of the two large dragons inside the cave; Vermithor and Sunfyre. “You are too beautiful.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Visaella just laughed, and Aegon fell in love with her all over again. It was such a magical sound, so special and unique. It was the most beautiful sound in the entire world, he was sure of it. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“You are too kind, my sweet prince.” The girl said, wrinkling her nose and brushing Aegon’s hair with her fingers. “I would bet there are a thousand girls who are more beautiful than I am, and I can assure you that because I’ve been witness to their beauty.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Aegon’s mouth dropped in a gesture of offense, frowning. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“Are you confessing to eyeing other women, my love?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“Of course I do,” She shrugged, and Aegon started to kiss her collarbones. “And I know you do it too.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“Why would I spend my valuable time seeing other women when the most perfect one is already mine?” He muttered against her skin, marking her neck and leaving wet kisses that made her sigh. “It’s nonsense.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“You are lying.” She raised her torso, leaning on her forearms, getting closer to Aegon’s lips and kissing them softly before he went back into marking her breasts. “You are a liar.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“I’m not lying.” His tongue swirled around one of her nipples before going lower to her stomach. Visaella bit her lip. “I have eyes only for you. You’re the only woman that I will ever worship.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“Worship?” She asked teasingly, looking down at Aegon’s face buried on her abdomen, filling her with kisses and soft bites. “I’m no goddess for you to worship me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“Of course you are.” His lips started to mark trails down her hips, each time he would get closer to her core. “And I will always be on my knees for you.” He gave a soft kiss on the inside part of her thighs, making her shiver under his touch. “Now, let me prove how well I can worship my goddess. Let me serve my queen.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎Her head fell back the instant she felt his warm mouth against her. Aegon hummed against her wet skin after feeling her sweet taste. She opened her eyes, putting her gaze on the darkened sky that was the only witness of their love.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“Visaella.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎The princess was too lost in her memories to even notice her step-father’s voice calling her. The ring on her heart finger was spinning around it while she stared at it with lost eyes; the black band covered with beautiful rubies was the only memory of Aegon she had on her. She tried to get rid of it by throwing it at the wide and open sea, but she could not bring herself to do it. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎“Visaella.” Daemon repeated.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The eyes of the girl looked up and saw all the lords looking at her, expecting an answer for whatever they might have been talking about. Jacaerys was at the other end of the table, staring at her with worried eyes. Visaella lifted her chin and quickly hid her hand behind her back, as if she was embarrassed to show the ring decorating her finger. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Pardon me, my lords.” She said, clearing her throat and putting on a smile. “I’m afraid my mind has been a bit lost these last hours.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your grace, I was expecting an answer from you.” Lord Corlys said, “The fleet will be ready to sail on the morrow from Driftmark to King’s Landing.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Remember that the fleet must arrive after me.” She indicated looking at the giant map carved on the table. “We need to make it appear as if I’m there to bend the knee in the name of my mother. Otto will be the first one to die if everything goes to plan.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Perhaps you should send the fleet at least an hour before Your Grace leaves on Dragon back.” Daemon indicated. “Or, we can find a place to hide near King’s Landing to settle while you go on your fleet.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Isn't it too risky to get closer to King’s Landing?” A lord asked. It was Lord Tully. “With all due respect, your Grace, I think two large dragons are not quite easy to hide.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ But they were. Visaella knew about it because she had been witness to it before. She knew it was possible to hide a dragon, because she knew the perfect place to do so; a site that was full with memories that she would rather forget. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “There is a place.” Visaella spoke, walking around the table. The men moved to let her walk freely. She grabbed a wooden symbol of a dragon and put it on top of the part of the map where it said Duskendale. “The woods of Duskendale.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Daemon looked at Visaella with an raised eyebrow, remembering that name from the letter she had written to Aegon a few nights ago. She just ignored his judgemental stare and looked at the rest of the guards and lords in order to keep explaining herself,

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “There is a cave between the shore and the woods.” She explained. “Large enough to fit at least three adult dragons. Vermithor being one of them.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “And the other one?” Jacaerys asked, curiously. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella just ignored the question and kept talking, “The woods is right in the middle between Dragonstone and King’s Landing, besides it is also quite close to Driftmark and far enough from the Kingsroad. It is the perfect spot.” Her eyes looked down in the instant those words came out of her mind, having instant flashbacks. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It is decided then.” Lord Corlys, concluded. “On the morrow, Your Grace and Prince Daemon will fly with their dragons towards Duskendale, our fleet will take all the armies toward the place and then, when the time arrives, we’ll begin the attack to the Greens.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “That sounds perfect.” Daemon complimented, “Although, I’m afraid we aren’t thinking about something important. Who kills the beast?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What beast?” Visaella asked.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Vhagar is a threat to all of us.” Daemon warned, “We cannot risk being attacked by her, we would lose.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “There is no need to kill Vhagar. Besides, killing a dragon of her size is almost impossible for a common human being.” She said, “Killing Aemond will be enough to get rid of her, she would be a riderless dragon.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Then we need to avoid Aemond from going to Vhagar.” Jacaerys added, “Leave that to me, I will kill him-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “No.” The eldest daughter said, “Alicent, Aemond and Helaena will be killed under my command, they will die with the flames of Vermithor as traitors to the crown. Leave them to me.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What about Aegon?” Daemon asked. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella looked at the table for a minute, brushing her fingers against the wood and taking a deep breath. She turned around to see the older man, 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I will kill Aegon with my bare hands.” She decided, “You can have the rest if you like, I heard you’ve had some tense encounters with Ser Criston, you can kill him if you want. I do not care about him.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What about me?” Jacaerys asked, “What am I supposed to do?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You are staying here, in Dragonstone.” His older sister informed him. He was about to complain, but she spoke first. “You are my heir now, Jacaerys. Me going to King’s Landing is a big risk as it is, I will not allow you to go too.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “But I have a dragon, Ella. I- I can help you, I want to help you.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You will help me by staying here, by protecting our home.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The boy was ready to keep insisting on the subject, ready to give a reasonable argument to make her change her mind, but he was interrupted by the words of his grandsire,

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your grace,” Lord Corlys spoke again, taking all the attention. “That is a matter we must talk about.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What matter?” She asked. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your line of succession.” Visaella clenched her jaw, and she gave Daemon an uncomfortable look, trying to search for help. He only looked down at his feet, avoiding her eyes. “You are not married, and you need an heir.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her hand unconsciously reached her stomach, specifically where her womb was located. She thought about the hundred times when Aegon promised her to give her a child as beautiful as her. She dreamt about it almost every night that now the thought of having a family with any other person feels wrong, even after everything that has happened. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Jacaerys is my heir.” She clarified. “And after Jacaerys comes Joffrey, or Jacarys’ future children. I have four alive brothers, my lord. I suppose the line of my succession is not at risk.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You need a son.” He said, “Or a daughter.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “And what are you planning to do about it?” Daemon jumped into the conversation, looking at him with a serious semblance, “She is not married, and at least you have a proper suitor, I don’t think there will be any children from her any time soon.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What about Prince Jacaerys?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella felt her body tense, and her breathing stopped for a second. She looked up at her brother who was already staring at her with widened eyes and his frown slightly wrinkled. The princess later laid her eyes on Lord Corlys, glancing at him with a clearly incredulous face.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What?” Daemon was the first to speak, also shocked by the proposal.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Targaryens have been marrying between brothers and sisters long before the conquest of Aegon.” He explained, “If I remember correctly, Prince Daemon, even your parents were brother and sister, were they not?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “They were.” He agreed, reluctantly. “But Jacaerys is already betrothed.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “A betrothal is just words, there’s nothing done yet. We can call off the betrothal and marry him to Your Grace.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The fact that they were talking about her as if she was not in the room listening to their words made her furious. Other Lords started to agree with the idea, and Visaella felt sick with just the thought of marrying Jacaerys. She could not do it, and she will not. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I don’t think it is a good idea.” Visaella said, “Jacaerys is my heir either way, I don’t see the need to marry.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You need children, Your Grace.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What about Cregan Stark?” Daemon proposed, “His wife passed away a few years ago.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “He already has children of their own.” Lord Corlys said. “I insist, the best option right now is to marry you both in order to continue the line of succession.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “That’s enough.” Visaella stopped them before any other person could keep adding reasons to defend the matter. “I will not stand here, hearing how a bunch of men talk about what is best for my reign by trying to sell me away to a husband I do not need.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your Grace-” Ser Corlys said, but she cut his words.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “We shall talk about this matter once I become queen.” Visaella answered fastly, “There is no need to worry about those foolish things now when I don’t even have a crown to claim my rightful position.” Her voice sounded angry and annoyed, Lord Corlys nodded, “Once I sit in the Iron Throne we will discuss my succession. You’re all dismissed.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Not wanting to talk any more about the matter, she left the council room and walked away. Ser Erryk, as loyal as always, followed her lead. She was heading towards the beach, finding that bench where she used to sit and watch Lucerys train against Jacaerys. Ser Erryk gave her the space that she needed, standing a few feets away from her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She sat there, releasing a big amount of air that was trapped in her lungs. She looked down at her shoes, playing with the sand under them. The sound of the waves felt empty without the voice of Lucerys. Everything felt empty without him.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She tried not to look forward, knowing that the memories of her brothers training would come to her mind only to make her cry. Visaella allowed herself to let go a couple of tears, she needed to find some kind of relief from all this agony that had been inside of her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Baela left with the boys.” A male voice informed behind her back. “Although Joffrey insisted on traveling on his own dragon.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Now they are safe.” She was quick to brush off the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks, looking up to find her brother’s face. “Thank you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Jacaerys sat on the empty spot beside her sister and looked at the waves crashing against the shore. Visaella just went silent, not knowing what to say. She could perceive how Jace wanted to say something, but the words were struggling to come out of his mouth.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ella, I- I’ve been trying to find the right words to talk to you since I came back.” He spoke softly.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Talk about what?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Jacaerys tilted his head, looking at her with a softened haze, “About Lucerys… and mother.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “And what do you want to say about it?” She shrugged, “He’s gone now. He’s not coming back, neither is our mother.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It’s not good that you keep all those bad feelings to yourself.” He grabbed her hand, trying to comfort her. “I saw what you did to those men, Ella. It wasn’t their fault, they-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You know nothing, Jace.” She chuckled with sarcasm, “Those men made me lay in bed, unable to go to Storm’s End in Lucerys’ place. It should’ve been me, not him!” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What did you do?” He asked, “Why did they try to stop you?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It does.” He insisted, “What are you hiding?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Nothing, just leave.” She muttered.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I will not. Tell me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Jace…” She begged, “Please, stop asking questions.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You never tell me anything.” He spoke, hurted. “You barely speak to me. I know your relationship with Lucerys was different, but I really hope we can live through this grief together… she was my mother too, he was my brother too.” His eyes started to get teary with threatening tears, Visaella’s gaze softened, “Right now, right here, we are every we have left. We need to stick together.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “And what do you want me to do?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I want you to, at least, be honest with me.” He brushed his tears from his face with a careless gesture. “Please, tell me what is going on with you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She knew he was right. In that instant, there was only them left. There was no point in hiding the truth from him, no use in lying anymore. One of the biggest regrets was the fact that she did not tell Lucerys the truth before he was gone, he deserved to know it. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ And now she realized that Jacaerys also needs to know.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She nodded slowly, understanding what she needed to do. However, she was having an incredibly hard time in finding the words and sorting out her own thoughts to give him the news. A part of her knew that there was a big possibility of Jacaerys starting to hate her for it, but it was the right thing to do, so she just tried, 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I had a thing… with- uhm, with Aegon.” The words were crashing against each other, but Jace was able to understand. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “A thing?” He asked, confused. “What do you mean? Like a- like a rivalry or-?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “We were together, Jace.” She interrupted him, “In the same way that our mother was with Daemon, in the same way Lord Corlys is with Princess Rhaenys. We were-” She stopped herself before finishing the sentence and corrected herself. “I was in love.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Jacaerys leaned back, straightening his posture and looking at her with astonishment, as if he had not understood what she had said. Visaella did not look him in the eye, too embarrassed to even dare to look up, and too scared to face him. She was staring at their hands.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ella…” Jacaerys whispered, “Since when?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Since Aemond’s accident, I think.” She shrugged, “I don’t know, I don’t remember.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You’ve been with him for six years?” His voice was demonstrating how shocked he was, it was a bit funny how his expression would change so quickly, “Why? How?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I don’t know.” She shook her head. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “That’s why those men took you, right?” Jacaerys asked, “You were going to see him and that’s why you were treated as a traitor.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella nodded, “Perhaps, if I hadn’t been so blinded by the love that I had for him, none of this would’ve happened.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Why would you say that? It’s not your fault.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “He always told me he didn’t want anything related to being King. He even told me that the only reason why he hasn’t escaped yet is because he wanted to escape with me.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “And did you want that?” He asked.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I thought about it… multiple times.” She confessed, “Everytime he would say those things, I would spend the entire night thinking about escaping with him to Essos.” She laughed, but it was a bitter one. “Now that I think about it, perhaps it was all an invention in order to take me out of the picture and steal the throne. Aemond has always wanted it.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It’s a bit shocking, if I’m honest.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You didn’t see it coming?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I mean,” He chuckled, “Sometimes I would catch him staring at you from head to toe, but I thought he was only being a pervert.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Well, I don’t blame you. He has quite the reputation.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Both siblings went silent once again. Their hands were still tangled while Visaella was caressing him with her thumb, just how she used to do with Lucerys whenever he –or herself– was anxious or nervous. It was a small gesture that brought both of them lots of comfort. It appeared to work with Jacaerys too. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You will kill him now?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Jacaerys voice sounded so soft and low, it was barely audible and easily blended with the sound of the sea. That question brought a hundred of emotions to Visaella, who only managed to mumble some words.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I guess I’ll have to.” She muttered. “He is the usurper. He stole my mother’s birthright.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “But will you be able to do it?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I really hope so.” She bit her lip, nervously. “I trust in the rage I feel, that it will not let me get blinded when I see him.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Let me go with you.” He begged, “I will help you, I swear.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You will be more useful here, Jace. Taking control of Dragonstone, this place cannot be left alone in case they decide to fly over here.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ella, please-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I can’t lose you too, Jace.” She spoke harshly. He frowned his lips looking down at his shoes, “It’s enough with Lucerys and with mother, you cannot leave too. You already said it, it’s you and me right now. We are all we have left.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What if you don’t come back? Then what will I have left?” He raised her voice, “The boys are too little to even understand what is going on, how am I supposed to live with that burden by myself?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Then what? Do you want me to stay here and send Daemon alone?” She scoffed, “To leave my own army on their own? No way.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I want you to take me with you, I want to fight by your side. We are siblings is what we are supposed to do.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It has already been said, Jacaerys. Enough with that.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella stood up, but her brother’s hand grabbed her wrist, making her stop. She turned around and saw the sadness in his eyes, which caused a slight pain on her chest. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I sent Lucerys to Storm’s End.” He said, Visaella’s heart stopped, reviving all her inner pain. “Lucerys is dead because I wasn’t there to protect him. Mother is dead for the same reason.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Jace-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Please, at least let me protect you.” He begged, “Please, Visaella.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The girl stared at him with the same look as him; one filled with sorrow. She frowned her lips, thinking about what is the right thing to do on that occasion. His begging eyes reminded her of Lucerys’, and then it was impossible for her heart to deny something to him.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She nodded, and Jacaerys hugged her tightly. She felt the pain of her inner wounds, but she decided to ignore it. She hugged him back, stroking his hair and closing her eyes. She felt his tears falling on her shoulders, and his soft sobs were not easy to ignore. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Jacaerys was everything she had left right then. 

+

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You’re going to spill the wine inside the tub!” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella laughed, her vision was already blurry due to the effect of alcohol on her body. Aegon hid her face in the crook of her neck, chuckling softly. “Aegon, stop- You’re making a mess!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Pardon me, my love.” He said between laughter, leaving a delicate kiss under her ear. “I feel a bit dizzy.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Give me that,” She said, grabbing his cup and filling it with wine. She stole a sip from it before giving it back to him. “There you go, my sun.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Aegon grabbed her and hugged her tightly against his chest, loving how intimately it felt to have her bare skin against his. Visaella leaned her head back, resting on his shoulder. Aegon started to leave soft strokes on her belly, sighing in her ear.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “How I wish I could be here forever.” He muttered, “All my problems would be solved if you were here with me every day.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella could not help but smile, “Soon we’ll get lucky enough to do it.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What if we don’t?” He asked, his voice sounded worried. “My mother is quite eager to marry me off with Helaena.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She turned around, making a mess on Aegon’s bedroom floor. He chuckled after hearing the water splashing against the carpet, and his smile only widened once he saw her face staring at him. She sat on his lap, and soon he was touching the skin covering her waist and hips. Visaella started washing his hair with care, being completely careful and loving. Aegon started to hum without even noticing it. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Don’t be so pessimistic, my sun.” She said while pouring water on his platinum hair. “We will be able to be together one day. We’ll just have to wait a bit.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “How long?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “My eighteenth nameday is a few moons away.” She thought a bit, “Perhaps, you can come to Dragonstone with that excuse and present to my mother your wish to marry me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I don’t like waiting.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I know you don’t.” She laughed, “But be patient for me, please?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Aegon pouted his lips before nodding. Visaella smiled and kissed him gently, tasting the flavor of wine in his mouth. He held her tight, caressing her back and playing with her wet hair strands. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I love you.” He whispered against her lips. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella rubbed her nose against him, making him chuckle. “I love you too, my sweet prince.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The princess took a big breath once her head was out of the water. Her hands quickly went to her face, brushing off the hair strands that were covering it. She looked around her room and she found an empty bed. She looked through the window at her side and noticed that the sun was already up in the sky, announcing the arrival of a new day.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She felt the coldness of air on her shoulders and she hugged herself for a couple of minutes. Lately, every single action has been a reminder of something that she has done with his company; even a simple activity such as taking a bath would be enough to see his face once again. He was carved in her memory, and there was no way to escape from him.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella stood up from the bathtub, covering her naked body with her silk robe. She let her hair loose afterwards, and started to brush it in front of a mirror seeing the water dripping from her head to the floor.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Soon, she got dressed, and she did not wear her typical attires; she wore a black vest that was covered with metal details imitating the scales of a dragon, it was hard material that shielded her whole torso and shoulders, along with black leather pants. It was similar to her rider’s clothes, but this had way more protection. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Later, a maid braided her hair enough to leave her face uncovered. Then she gave her something to eat; it would probably be the first and last meal of the day, so she enjoyed it as much as she could. Perhaps it would be her real last meal. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ After finishing it, and before leaving her room, she looked at the ring on her finger, and she made it spin around it. She thought about letting him there, in some random place inside of her chambers. Instead, she just put it back on her heart finger and left the room with her scabbard around her hips, which had her sword and two daggers. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Ser Erryk received her in the hallway, bowing his head in a subtle move. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your Grace, Prince Daemon is waiting for you in the dunes along with Prince Jacaerys.” He informed her, “The dragons are ready and the fleets have already left for Duskendale woods.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella stopped walking and turned to him, looking confused. “Why are you still here, then?” She asked, “Shouldn’t you be in one of the ships, leading an army?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Prince Jacaerys commanded me to stay here, protecting the castle.” He replied.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Nonsense.” She shook her head, “You will be my Lord Commander, they need to see you there.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Prince Jacaerys-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I don’t care what Jacaerys said.” She interrupted him, “Ser Erryk, you are my most loyal guard, I will need your presence in the battlefield. You're coming with me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She started walking again, but soon the guard’s voice made her stop. “But, your grace, all the ships are gone.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You’ll be riding Vermithor with me.” She said, shrugging as if it was not a great thing. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your grace, I don’t think I could-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Grab your sword, Ser Erryk, we need to hurry.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She ordered him, and the man only nodded and followed her trace. People would bow whenever she passed by them, they would stop doing whatever they were doing only to do that small action. Visaella did not like it, she did not feel like a queen yet. She barely lets them call her ‘your grace’, and it was only because Daemon persuaded her by telling her she was now representing their leader. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She managed to see the three dragons and the dragon’s keepers holding them in their place. Jacaerys was talking with Daemon, who seemed to be giving orders and explaining something. Both men turned around to see her, but only Jacaerys smiled while Daemon only bowed his head as a greeting. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella walked towards Vermithor, and started to caress his bronze scales. Her head leaned against his and she whispered, “Rytsas, ñuha pazavor valītsos (Hello, my loyal boy.)” Vermithor sighed as a response, “Kessa sagon iā bōsa tubis (It will be a long day)” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “He is very fond of you.” Daemon spoke behind your back. “He is a loyal dragon, not everyone can have that. ”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “He is.” She agreed, “I’m lucky to have him.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Daemon’s hand fell onto her shoulder. She looked at him, and he smirked. It was the first time since the day of the feast that she felt some comfort in him; perhaps it was because he was the only parental figure left in her life, and she felt like she needed some kind of guidance in her life from now on; a guidance that he could provide.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your mother and Lucerys would be proud of you.” He said, Visaella haze softened. “I am proud of you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Why?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He laughed, as if she had just asked something terribly obvious.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Look what you’ve done.” His hand cupped her face and she did not feel the need to take a step back in order to stay away from his touch. She thought it was rather reassuring. “You are eager to defend your mother’s legacy until your final breath. You finally opened your eyes and saw the Greens for what they truly are; a group of traitors that deserve their punishment.” He spat the last words with rage, while a grin filled with disgust crossed his face. It faded as soon as he looked at her again. “You will be a great Queen, Visaella, as long as you don’t let your feelings blind you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She nodded, as if she was wordlessly promising him to follow his advice. And then, Daemon hugged her tightly. It was an odd action coming from him, but she doubtfully accepted the gesture by patting his back. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ When they separated, Visaella looked at her side, seeing Jacaerys staring at them with a confused expression on his face. He quickly walked towards them, and stood beside them trying to find some explanation.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Did something happen?” He asked, addled about the prior scene he had witnessed. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “No, everything’s fine.” Visaella answered. The boy looked at Daemon and then looked back to her sister. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Why is Ser Erryk coming?” He pointed to the man, “I told him to be here protecting the castle.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I told him to come with us,” She replied, “He is my Queensguard, my most loyal guard. I need him in battle with me, not here.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Then who will stay to protect Dragonstone?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I sent a raven to your grandmother Rhaenys.” Daemon stepped in the conversation, “She will settle here along with Baela. Meleys and Moondancer will be guarding it, with a small group of guards.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Problem solved.” Visaella muttered, “Now, stop wasting time, we should leave before it gets late.” She ordered. Daemon and Jacaerys immediately obeyed, walking to their dragons. “Ser Erryk, it is time!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The knight walked towards the dragon with care, too scared to even stare at it. He saw how Visaella just caressed his scales while using a rope ladder to climb onto the black and golden saddle on top of Vermithor’s back. Ser Erryk reluctantly followed her path and nervously climbed onto the dragon, seating behind the princess.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Vermithor stood up when his rider gave him the instruction to do it, “Sōvētēs, Vermithor.”  He shook the sand off of his body in a harsh movement that did not even alter the princess, but terribly frightened the brave guard. He gave two steps before starting to fly in the direction of a very well known place for him; the woods of Duskendale. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ During the whole flight, Ser Erryk did not say a word, too terrified to even move. The landing was the worst part; due to his big size, Vermithor was not so delicate, so he always had a hard time arriving on the ground. Visaella was already used to it, but Ser Erryk almost fell. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “How was the trip, Ser Erryk?” Daemon teased him while he was getting off the dragon, smiling mockingly at him. The knight did not answer him, and Visaella rolled her eyes.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The three dragons were kept in the cave resting. Visaella looked around, feeling an uncomfortable sensation in her gut. Thousands of memories came to her mind and it made her shiver. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Lord Corlys was arriving at the shore once they got to the cave, and a few hours later, they joined them to rest and eat before the big attack on King’s Landing. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella was starting to get anxious, a bit nervous too. The pressure might be too much for her, but she knew it was too late to regret the decisions she had made; the day could end on her death or with her being the queen of the Seven Kingdoms, no inbetween. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The idea of having Jacaerys by her side brought her some comfort. He was sitting on a trunk beside her while eating a piece of deer one of the guards had hunted. He was looking around, moving his legs nervously; Visaella put a hand on his leg trying to calm him down, Jacaerys looked at her with his mouth filled with meat.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You are nervous.” Visaella claimed, “We will be okay.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I know that,” He said with difficulty, trying to swallow the food in his mouth,”It’s just I’ve never been in battle before, what if I do something that costs our lives?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “No need to think about those things, Jace.” She tried to smile, but nothing came out on her face. “We will do fine, we will win this. I promise you.” Jacaerys nodded and he smiled at her. The sweetness of his gesture reminded her of Lucerys and she got teary eyes almost immediately. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ When the sun started to set, everybody started moving. The ships were ready to sail, the dragons were fed and it was almost time for the attack to start. Daemon was busy giving orders and revising the plans and strategies with Lord Corlys and Ser Erryk, while Visaella was walking around, trying to compose herself before exploiting. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She walked away from the big group, around the trees and the bushes. She leaned against a tree while trying to take deep breaths of air, a knot formed on her stomach and suddenly she felt overwhelmed; as if she had just realized what she was about to do. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back, she felt her heart fastened so her hands grabbed the tree behind her, in an attempt to feel the texture of its trunk and get distracted by it. It barely worked.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She opened her eyes and saw the sky. The stars were starting to come out, she counted them. Aegon always used to say that whenever he was feeling overwhelmed about anything he would count the stars to relax. So she did, and she felt her breathing starting to regulate. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She looked at her hands for the millionth time and saw the ring on her finger; she took it off. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The ring started to spin between her fingertips while her eyes looked at it, observing every detail, color and relief in it. She clenched her jaw, knowing that the ring was everything he had left of the memories she shared with Aegon. She thought about throwing it away for many days now, thinking that it would be better if she could get rid of every piece of him. Perhaps, it would be easy to move on that way. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She saw a hole in the tree behind her, it was small and it was empty. She looked at the ring for the last time before putting it inside. The memories of Aegon will be staying there, in the place where they used to freely show their love towards each other. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ It was the right thing to do, she thought. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ella!” Jacaerys' scream made her jump. She moved her head to see between the trees, and Jacaerys was moving his arm in order to catch her attention. “It’s time, we’re leaving!” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She saw the ring shining inside the tree’s hole, she covered it with some dirt to avoid someone else to see it and then she walked back towards her brother. Jacaerys was beside Vermax, caressing him while seeing his sister approaching with a fastened pace. His eyes widened with surprise when she hugged him tightly. She closed her eyes and buried her face on his shoulders. He did nothing besides hugging her back.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ella-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Please, be careful.” She muttered against his shoulder, “I beg you, please, be safe out there.” Her voice sounded shaky, as if she was trying not to cry. “If you see things getting complicated, I need you to promise me you will fly to the Eyrie to meet the children, to take care of them.” She pulled back and grabbed his face with both hands. A motherly look was seen in her eyes, “Please, Jace, promise me.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I- I promise you,” He nodded, and Visaella kissed his cheek before hugging him once again. “I thought ‘we will do okay’.” He joked, “You said that yourself.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It’s a battle, Jacaerys.” She spoke softly, “We never know what might happen.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Everything is going to be fine.” He said, copying her own words. She tilted her head, and Jacaerys remembered, “But if things get ugly, I will escape. I promise you that.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Good.” She nodded, “Now, it’s time to go.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She stroked his hair one last time before going towards Vermithor once again. Once she was already seated on the saddle, she gave one last look back to the woods. It was probably the last time she would be there.

+

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ When Vermithor landed on the main entrance of the Red Keep, the guards took off their swords immediately, pointing them to the giant beast in front of them. Visaella smiled proudly at her dragon, before starting to go down the rope ladder. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She walked in front of Vermithor, presenting herself to the knights and watching them getting close. They never let their guard down.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “My name is Princess Visaella of House Velaryon, and I’ve come in the name of my mother, Princess Rhaenyra, in order to speak with the King’s Hand.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ One of the guards stepped forward and looked at her from head to toe. He intended to move closer to her, but Vermithor moved his head, scaring him away.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What do you want to talk about with him?” He asked.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “With all due respect, Ser.” She spoke with a fake politeness, “I don’t think that something of your interest. Please, tell him to come.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “The Hand will only accept a reunion in his chambers.” The guard explained, “We can guide you to him if you wish.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Vermithor might have felt the despair she felt when she thought everything would come out in the wrong way, because he put his head closer to the guard, in an attempt to intimidate him. Visaella let herself enjoy his terrified face before controlling her dragon.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Lykiri, Vermithor.” She commanded him. He took a step back before laying down once again. “Now, please bring the Lord Hand, tell him it’s important.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The guard walked inside the castle while Visaella waited there. The nervousness was consuming her body and soon she started scratching her own fingers, trying to free some of that tension. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her whole body stiffened up when Otto came to her sight. He had the nerve to walk towards her with a smile, as if they had done nothing wrong, as if Lucerys was not dead because of them. The rage suddenly took control over her body, and her jaw clenched as her eyes darkened. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Princess Visaella,” He greeted her with a small bow, “I didn’t expect your presence around here.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I’ve come to talk.” She declared, “There are some important matters that need to be discussed.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Otto nodded lightly, “Perhaps we should go inside, I would be more comfortable if-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “No.” She hurried to say, “I wouldn’t feel comfortable in a room with only your presence. Not under the circumstances of our present.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Well then, so tell me, Princess.” He said, “What have you come to talk about then? Did Daemon change his mind about our terms?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She frowned, not knowing what he was talking about. She held back the urge to ask him, knowing that she needed to follow a script written in her mind.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I came to bend the knee,” She confessed, Otto looked at her strangely. Visaella looked quickly at the sky, waiting for Daemon's signal. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Why?” He asked, doubtfully.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Beg your pardon?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Why are you bending the knee now?” He said, “After your brother’s murder, why?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She swallowed hard after hearing him pronouncing his name, as if he had the right to do it after everything he had done. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She thought about her answer and she almost bit her own tongue for it. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Because my love for Aegon is bigger than anything else” The words felt so bitter, so filled with lies. She had to blatantly lie. “I came here to serve him, as- as her loyal friend.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Otto did not seem to be convinced at all, it was the opposite actually. He stared at her with pure confusion on his face. Visaella gave up then, the thought of her being caught immediately came to her mind while Otto was observing her with an intense gaze, showing how much he did not trust her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Allow me to doubt you, Princess.” He looked to a guard and tilted his head. The guard started walking towards her. “But, I must speak with King Aegon before letting you in.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Vermithor roared when the guard was close enough to touch Visaella, and the man fell backwards to the ground. Otto frowned,

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Princess-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The sound of Caraxes’ singular shrill roar was heard while he flew above their heads. Visaella felt something in her chest, Daemon heard Vermithor and flew over there to check on her, ruining the entire plan. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Fuck, fuck, fuck, Visaella thought. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What is he doing here?” Otto asked, raising his voice. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Vermithor stood up, spreading his large wings and roaring once more. Otto looked at her, now he was scared, and she gained back the control of the situation. The look of pure terror on the old man’s face will be carved on her memory until the day she died,

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Tell him to calm down!” Otto demanded.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella did not say anything, she just stood there while Vermithor was getting as angry as her. Suddenly, an arrow flew beside the princess and hit the dragon’s scales. It did not do him any harm at all, it barely tickled him, but the Princess saw this as a threat towards her beloved dragon, and she would not allow that. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What is going on?” Otto asked again.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You all killed Lucerys,” She said, “You killed my mother and two of my siblings.” She spat, her eyes filled with hatred. “And yet you feel entitled to smile in my presence.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Otto started to walk backwards, knowing that he was in great danger. Another arrow passed beside her, hitting Vermithor's thick skin once again. She looked up and saw two men preparing their archers to shoot him. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You stole my mother’s throne, you killed my sweet boy.” She walked, positioning herself under Vermithor’s neck, “Now you will pay.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Princess-” He was looking up at the dragon and giving swift glances to her, scared of taking his eyes away from the beast. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I will burn every single one of you.” She threatened him, “I will burn this entire castle and city if I have to.” The guards were starting to walk towards the entrance door. “My mother did not want to be Queen of the Ashes.” She spoke softly, “But I do.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Visaella-!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Dracarys.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Vermithor spat a cloud of fire on the men in front of her, and the ones that were stupidly throwing arrows at her. She started hearing their screams, watching them squirm in the ground trying to put out the flames that were burning their flesh, and she could not take her eyes off of Otto’s burning body. She felt a big relief when she saw him kneel in front of her out of the pain, it was better than any other feeling.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ It brought her greater pleasure than any night she spent with Aegon, and that is when knew how good it would feel to kill every single one of them. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She walked between the burning bodies, her chin lifted with pride as she walked inside the main door of the castle and started to make her way towards wherever Aegon was. There were thousands of maids and servants running and screaming while she was walking up the stairs. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ They deserve to be scared, Visaella thought, they bent the knee for the usurper and betrayed your mother.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella sneaked inside the castle without being seen. The commotion and panic of the people were quite helpful as less people were paying attention to her. She tried to walk with her head down, always paying attention to her surroundings in case someone would recognize her, but no one did.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She was almost chanting victory when she saw Ser Criston Cole trotting in her direction and being followed by at least twelve other guards. Visaella panicked, and she opened the first door she found, hiding in an unknown room. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her movements were quiet and stealthy; the door did not make a sound and her steps were barely heard. She went unnoticed, remaining silent until she heard some voices near her.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I told you this would happen!” She heard a whine from someone she could not recognize. “It was just a matter of time after what the Prince did to that poor boy.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella peeked from where she was hiding, and saw two maids hiding behind a big piece of furniture. One of them seemed as if she could not stop crying. They had not noticed her presence in the room yet.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Poor Princess Rhaenyra,” One of them lamented, “I can only imagine her pain when she found out.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “The worst thing of it all, it’s what the people are saying.” She whispered, “I’ve heard in the corridors that Prince Aemond took Prince Lucerys’ eyes and gave them to his betrothed back in Storm’s End.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ A hole was installed on her chest, and the whistle on her ear came back. Her brow lowered and her lips became a line showing her serious semblance. Her body started to heathen up, and her hands became fists, one of them surrounded the sword handle on her scabbard. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I heard that the King celebrated with him.” One of them continued, now Visaella’s heart stopped. “He threw a feast for his brother.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “How terrible-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The princess made herself seen by the maids, who widened her eyes scared after noticing her presence. Visaella was shaking, she was crying and her face was red. She looked down at the maids with pure abhorrence on her darkened eyes. They saw her hardened stare filled with rage and they closed their eyes, thinking she might kill them.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Where is Aegon?” She asked, her voice sounding deeper than usual.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “He- he was- he was walking…” The maid was stuttering, deadly scared of Visaella, whose knuckles were starting to get white thanks to the strength of her grip around the hilt of her sword. “He was walking to his chambers…”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Was he alone?” The maids nodded, “Good.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella drew her sword before opening the door abruptly, stumping outside the room and starting to walk fastly towards Aegon’s chambers. Raging tears were escaping her eyes, she was fuming; breathing too fast. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ A guard caught her, but she was quick enough to cut his throat with her sword. Then came another, and another. Visaella was letting all her anger take control of her senses, being completely numb by it, by the end of the fight she was already covered in blood and her arm was bleeding due to a deep cut. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She knew the path very well, so it was quite easy to arrive at the hallway where Aegon’s chambers were located. She peeked through a corner at the end of the corridor and saw a guard standing outside the room. Visaella picked a stone and threw it on the floor in order to make noise and caught the attention of the guard. It worked.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The guard walked towards the corner with the hilt of his sword in his hand. Visaella waited for him as he slowly went forward. She grabbed one of her daggers, and once the guard was close enough, she stabbed him on the neck in a quick movement, without even letting him react. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ His dead body fell onto the ground and she used his white cloak to clean her dagger’s blade. Then, she got inside the chambers. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ A certain feeling unbeknownst to her positioned in her gut. She closed the door behind her and looked around, trying to find him. His scent reached her nose and it was a triggering sensation that almost made her cry, it drove her mad and her mind was engulfed with the tons of memories that came to her mind. She even was able to feel his touch on her hips once she closed her eyes. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She shook her head and woke up from the tortuous trance that her own mind put her in, and quickly tried to compose herself. Only then, she had the strength of going inside the room. Her eyes were scanning around trying to find him, until her eyes fell onto his messy bed. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ There he was.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Aegon was sleeping, he was shirtless and only a pair of thin pants covered his nudity. His hair was spreaded on the white pillow, and his milky skin was still covered with marks; marks that she had done. He was sleeping on the right side of the bed, leaving the left side completely empty. There was an empty bottle of wine on the nightstand. She looked around and she was surprised to see her red gown with a wine stain on one of the sofas.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her haze softened a little, but then her mind started poisoning her feelings again. He was there, sleeping safe and sound, seeming so relaxed and calm, while she barely had enough sleep these last days. She had been living in a nightmare, and yet Aegon seemed to be so content in his bed. It was not fair. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He made a feast, Visaella thought, and the madness started to succumb her once again. You were grieving and he was having a feast.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Just as if he was able to feel her presence, he started to move. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, and stretched his body. His heart stopped once his vision cleared and saw Visaella standing in front of the bed, he sat up and his eyes softened instantly; he was so bewitched by her presence that he did not notice the stains of blood on her armor. He did not even notice she was wearing an armor. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her skin shivered, and she did not know if it was for the cold breeze that came inside the room, or the intense haze of Aegon on her.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “My love…” He whispered, astonished. He crawled desperately over the bed until he got close to her. “My sweet love, is that really you?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He stood up from the bed and walked carefully towards her, as if he was scared she was some illusion of his imagination. He tried to touch her face, but she grabbed his wrist with a strong grip, Aegon widened his eyes, taken aback by her unexpected action.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You made a feast.” She claimed. Aegon frowned, confused at her words.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Wh-what?” He muttered. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Lucerys died… and you made a feast.” Her voice sounded so hollow, so monotone. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Aegon looked at her eyes, and he saw it again; the same hatred that she used to hurt him the last time they saw each other. He leaned backwards, and just then he woke up from her spell and realized that she was covered in blood. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Are you hurt?” He asked, worried.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You lied to me.” She accused him, “You used me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What are you saying?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You trick me… you used me to take my mother’s crown.” A tear fell from her eye. Aegon tried to wipe it off, but Visaella leaned back. “You fucking liar.” She whispered.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ella, I did this to protect you- They forced me to do it.” He explained, frowning, “I’ve never lied to you, why are you saying those things?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Protect me?” She scoffed, “Lucerys is dead for what you did… My mother is dead. How dare you call that ‘protection’?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ It seemed as if the news of his half-sister’s death had shocked him more than Visaella expected. His eyes looked confused, almost lost. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Rhaenyra is dead?” He questioned, astonished.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Because of what your brother did.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “What happened with Lucerys was an accident, Ella. Just let me explain everything-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Aegon’s words stopped once Visaella’s hand started to squeeze his throat. He looked at her with horror reflected on his face while his mouth dropped open trying to breathe. Her grip was strong, even Aegon was surprised by her strength; her eyes seemed to be lost. He tried to escape from her grip, but he could not do it. Then he just closed his eyes, being unable to bear that malignant stare on him again.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Don’t you dare to say his name.” She spat, “Don’t you fucking dare to defend your murderer brother.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I did this-” He spoke breathlessly, searching for air, “I did this so we- so we can marry.” He whined. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella freed him from her grip, and she started to push him. “Stop lying!” She yelled at him, while he was trying to make her stop. “Fucking liar!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Stop it.” Aegon said, grabbing her arms and putting them behind her back, she kept squirming trying to escape. “Stop it!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She started to cry all over again, breaking down in front of him. Aegon noticed the ache of her heart by seeing through her hardened haze. He leaned his forehead against hers, and he felt the warmth of her breath. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “They told me I’ll get to marry you if I accept the crown.” He whispered, “I did it so we can be together, why don't you believe me?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You killed Lucerys…”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I didn’t.” He shook his head, desperately trying to prove his innocence. “Aemond did.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Under your command.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I didn’t order him to kill him. Please, my love, you have to believe me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You stole the crown, Aegon!” She yelled, her face was covered in tears by then, and burning with rage. “If you would’ve rejected it, Lucerys would be with me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “They forced me-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You have a dragon…” She interrupted, “Why didn’t you fly to Dragonstone?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I sent you a letter.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Stop lying!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I am not!” He raised his voice, tired of the situation, “Stop fucking screaming and listen to me!” Visaella whined, “I fucking love you, I would leave everything for you, I would do anything for you! How can you not see?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her lip trembled, “And yet you did nothing to prevent Lucerys’ death.” He went silent, “You didn’t even punish Aemond for what he did.” She cried, “You knew how much I loved Lucerys, you knew how much this would ruin me, and yet… you did nothing.” She looked right at his eyes, wanting him to see her face once she pronounced the following words, “You ruined my life, Aegon.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ His grip around her hand weakened, her hurtful words made him close his eyes. He wished to be dreaming, he begged to wake up with her between his arms that day when everything started to go down. He pledged to the gods.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You don’t mean that.” He mumbled.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I do.” She spat. Her words were venom, and it was burning Aegon’s heart. “You ruined everything! You ruined me!” She managed to get out of his grip and she pushed him far from her. Aegon stumbled, “Look how miserable I am now, and it’s all because of you!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Don’t say that.” He whispered, shocking his head while his teary purple eyes looked at her. “Please, don’t.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I wish I hadn’t believed in your words, in your lies.” Aegon hummed in pain, “I wish I had never let myself be with you. I was a fool.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ella…” Aegon begged.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “And I warned you, if you ever touch them again I will kill you.” She remembered him. “You didn’t listen, so now I'm here to keep my word... I will kill you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her words were harsh, they pierced through his heart like a dagger and it made him feel miserable. The worst thing of it all is that he wanted to be angry at her, but he couldn’t. He wanted to scream at her, tell her to fuck herself for treating him this way after everything he had done for her, he wanted to yell a thousand of atrocities at her face so she could feel an inch of his pain, of what he was feeling right then. But, he could not bring himself to do that. He had felt abandonment a long time ago by his own parents, being neglected and left aside from his family. No one showed him what love truly was until she arrived in his life to save him. He could not afford to lose her, not after he had tasted her sweetness and devotion. Not after everything they have been through. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ So, instead of getting mad, he begged her. He fell onto his knees and hugged her hips so tightly that Visaella gasped. She tried to push him away but he was too strong, and she was weakened by her own sorrow. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Please…” He whined, “Please, my love, please. I love you, you need to believe me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You don’t love me.” She cried, “You don’t do these things to someone you love.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I’m sorry!” His voice broke between his screams, “Please, forgive me!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her knees felt weak, they were shaking. Aegon’s face was buried on her belly, not caring about crushing his nose against the cold metal of her armor. He wanted to be as close as he possibly could. Visaella was sobbing loudly, everything started to ache. It was too much, it was too painful.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Too many emotions were drowning her body.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I love you, I love you.” He repeated. “I’m sorry. Please, love me.” He whined, “I can lose you, please. Tell me you love me too.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I can’t.” She spoke. “I can’t love you anymore.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “No! No, no!” He stood up and he grabbed her face. “Look at me, my love. Please, please!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Stop it.” She muttered.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I love you!” He screamed at her face, touching her skin. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Aegon, shut up.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I love you, my sun. I love you, please!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Shut up!” She closed her eyes, not being capable of looking at his eyes.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Forgive me, my love. I can’t lose you, I love you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Stop it!” She screamed, “Stop it!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I love you-”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her lips smashed against his, and Aegon moaned out of relief and pain. His lips were dry, but they were still as soft as always. Visaella whimpered against him, feeling Aegon’s hands grabbing her body and bringing her closer to his. It was desperate, intense, it was a kiss that made it count for all those agony days without each other’s presence. Aegon felt consolation, he devoured her mouth shamelessly, whining and sighing against her tongue and feeling her taste. Visaella’s hands were tangled on his platinum hair, feeling his softness one last time.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ When she pulled apart they were breathing fast, their lips swollen and wet. They stared at each other’s eyes, Aegon’s were filled with love but she could not see it. He smiled at her, feeling unburdened by having her back into his arms. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ His eyes were glistening, his purple eyes were softened. Until a shook look took over his face.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ His hand covered his throat while the blood splashed on his naked chest and on her clothing. Aegon’s eyes were filled with horror while he started gulping and choking with his own blood. Visaella looked at the front with a lost stare, trying to ignore the sound of Aegon’s body falling dead on the floor. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She was shaking, and her legs were trembling desperately. She fell on the ground and looked at the lifeless eyes of her lover. She let out a loud sob, starting to cry desperately. She hated him, she hated him for making her do this. For forcing her to despise him. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She looked up, staring at her reflection through the mirror; she was covered in blood. Aegon's blood. Her chest was moving fast, she was sobbing uncontrollably, her eyes displaying the hatred she felt. There was no mercy in them, she was blinded by the rage and vengeance. Those sweet eyes were no longer there, there was no kindness left. She went mad, and killing Aegon was the livid proof of it. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella crawled to the balcony, still whimpering and crying, she felt the smell of smoke reaching her nose and once she reached the door frame, she used it as a support to stand up. Her shaky hands grabbed the railing, and she observed the view; everything was burning, screams were heard. The heat of the fire felt so close to her that she could feel its warmth. She looked at the sky and saw Vermithor flying on top of the Red Keep, he stood on a burning building and roared. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She was just starting to get worried about Jacaerys and Daemon when a cold blade was positioned on her neck. She gasped out of impression, and a laugh was heard against her ear.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Prince Aemond will be thrilled to see what you’ve done to the King.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He grabbed her carelessly, almost dragging her outside the chambers, forcing her to keep up with his fastened pace. Her legs were not steady, they were crashing against each other making her drag her body around the corridors. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The man never let the knife go, constantly putting it against her flesh and even cutting a little of her neck. Visaella did not fight him at any time, knowing that she was at a big disadvantage, and that she would probably lose any kind of fight at that moment; she was still shaken with what had happened; with what she had done.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “When Daemon finds you, he will kill you.” She muttered.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Not if Prince Aemond kills you first.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She did not recognize where they were going, the big castle seemed like a maze and it appeared that not even the guard knew where he was taking her. He was just walking around, as if he was trying to find something –or someone.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The presence of a familiar face came in her way. He stood up in front of the both of them and she frowned; it was one of the twins guards, but she was not able to recognize which, as the light was too dim. She only begged for him to be the right twin.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Where are you taking her?” The guard said, looking at her covered in blood and then to the other guard holding her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “To Prince Aemond.” He replied. “Why don’t you do me a favor and tell me where he is, Arryk?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She tensed after hearing the name, starting to feel unsafe once again. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ���No.” He shook his head. “Give her to me, I know where Prince Aemond and Queen Alicent are, I’ll take her to them.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Or you could just tell me.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “No.” He denied again, “Only me and Ser Criston know where the Queen is hiding, I will not give that information to a strange guard.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The man behind her clicked his tongue with annoyance before removing the dagger from her throat and throwing her to the ground, just by the feet of the guard. He looked down at her at the same time she looked up, he grabbed his flail and Visaella covered her head once he raised his arm.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She closed her eyes, expecting the impact but instead she heard a body falling next to her. The guard's body. The man was continuously beating his face until it was unrecognizable, and it left a huge blood stain that almost reached the princess.  

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She crawled away from him, and the twin kneeled by her side.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Your Grace, are you okay?” He spoke softly.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Ser Erryk…” She answered with relief. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I was looking for you.” He said, “Prince Daemon wants to see you, he claims to have a surprise for you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He offered his hand, and she took it without even thinking twice about it. She stood up with his help and he guided her through the castle. She looked around, and there were dead bodies of white cloak guards laying around on the cold floor. It was a gruesome view, but it was proof that they had won. That thought made her feel some kind of peace within her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ However, Ser Erryk did not let his guard down until they reached the main entrance of the Red Keep once again, Vermithor was the first thing she saw through the open gates, and later she managed to see three wooden poles with three people tied on them. As she was getting closer, she finally recognized the silhouettes of Aemond, Alicent and Helaena. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Daemon turned around and watched her approaching him with a victorious smile. Jacaerys was by his side, standing up straight with his arms behind his back. He seemed to be unharmed, and that made Visaella feel relieved. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Finally Your Grace is here.” Daemon announced once his daughter reached his side. “That one was tough,” He said pointing at Aemond, who was staring at them without expression at all. Next to him was Alicent, who could not stop shaking, “Ser Erryk was able to catch him before he could escape to find Vhagar.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Where’s Aegon?!” Alicent asked, almost screaming in despair. “Tell him I want to see him!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella ignored the woman’s words and kept talking with Daemon, “Ser Criston?” She asked after not seeing him among the others.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I took my liberties with him.” He said with a malicious smirk, “But, I assure you he will not be an issue for you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Good.” Her eyes traveled to her brother’s face, “Are you okay?” He did not verbally answer, but he nodded.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Bring me Aegon!” Alicent insisted, “I want to see my son!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella turned around at her, expressionless. Alicent looked at her state with eyes filled with terror. The princess’ eyes were orbitated by madness, her whole face changed. The fact that Alicent thought that she would let Aegon live after what he had done to her family was just too insulting for her not to react. She took her words as if Alicent did not think she was strong enough to kill him.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Visaella, please!” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Aegon is dead.” She spoke coldly. The woman frowned and her lip trembled, “I sliced his throat open and watched him bleed to death.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “No…” She denied, incredulous. “You wouldn’t do that. Not to him.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “But I did.” She shrugged. “The usurper is dead.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I don’t believe you.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The princess walked towards her, nothing was found beneath her purple eyes. Alicent was frightened by her.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Do you want me to bring you his head?” She asked teasingly. “He still lays in his chambers.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “He loved you!” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She scoffed, taking a step back and whispering, “No, he didn’t.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Behind her back Daemon smiled pleasantly.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella walked towards Helaena, who remained serene even after everything she had seen. The silver haired girl looked up to her, she had teary eyes but there was no sign of tears on her cheeks. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I’m really sorry, Helaena.” She said softly, “You were the kindest of them all… Perhaps you do not deserve such a cruel and ruthless death,” She clenched her jaw and looked down. “But neither did Lucerys.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Helaena whispered, “The emerald kinship will prevail, a small child with his sire’s face.” Visaella ignored her words, walking towards Aemond.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Being in front of him was as if a wave of rage washed over her body. Her breathing turned sharp as soon as she saw his face, the despise on her eyes was easily seen and her hands were itching to grab her dagger and cut his throat. However, she held herself back by taking a deep breath and say,

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “After what you did, I dreamt of many ways to kill you.” She confessed, “I hoped the Gods would make your life miserable, I hoped you would die in the most painful and horrible way possible.” She laughed, “You will die last, because I want you to see. I want you to see while your mother and sister die screaming, so you can feel an inch of my pain.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Aemond tensed. He tried to make himself look careless, but Visaella knew he was growing desperate as there was nothing he could do by now. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Was it worth it?” He spoke with a deep and raspy voice, looking down at her. Visaella frowned. “Killing Aegon,” He clarified, “Was it worth it?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella knew he was trying to touch her nerve and make her break in front of everyone, but she would not let him get the pleasure to see her cry. Instead, she smirked.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Put him aside,” Visaella ordered, “And make sure he has a good view.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She walked back towards Daemon and Jacaerys while Ser Erryk along with other guards started to take Aemond off the wooden pole. He was positioned in front of Visaella, watching the scenery in the first row. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Soon, Vermithor started moving towards the women. Alicent closed her eyes the minute she saw the beast getting closer; Visaella watched her as she started to pray to the Seven, and hummed pleased by seeing her despair. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Queen Alicent Hightower, Princess Helaena Targaryen. I, Visaella of House Targaryen, first of my name and rightful heir to the Seven Kingdoms, sentence you to die.” Helaena muttered the same words as before, but once again Visaella ignored her. Alicent took a deep breath and watched her children for the last time. “Dracarys.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The fire brought warmth to the cold night. Visaella looked down at Aemond who was kneeling in front of her with Ser Erryk holding a knife against his throat in order to keep him still. She smiled, pleased with herself after seeing the despair in his eye. She felt an inner peace after seeing him suffering; she had the same look on her face once she found out about Lucerys, and it was such a pleasant feeling to see the same distress reflected on him. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Once the fire started to fade out, Visaella made a subtle sign to the guards and positioned Aemond between the two calcined bodies. He looked completely wrecked, his hardened look now was a defeated one. If he was going to die, he was glad he would die along with his family.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I will not even justify your murder by giving you a reason… we both know why I am doing this.” She put her hands behind her back and straightened up her body, “But I will ask you something, and you shall answer; why did you do it?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He did not speak back.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “You owe me an answer, Aemond.” She spat, “Why did you do it?”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “It was an accident.” He muttered, his voice sounding raspy and low. “I never meant to kill him.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She scoffed, shaking her head and looking at him incredulously. “An accident.” She repeated, “You fucking liar.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “I’m speaking the truth.” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “How can I trust in the words of a kinslayer?” 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He laughed, bitterly, “You are one too.” He said, looking at her through his eyelashes.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella pouted her lips, and nodded softly. “Yes, I guess I am.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her loyal dragon prepared himself once again. Aemond straightened up his body and lifted his chin, showing himself unafraid of what she may do. They were staring at each other’s eyes without breaking eye contact, filled with hate and resentment. Visaella did not bend, she remained still in her position without letting him intimidate her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She smiled, and Aemond frowned confused at her reaction. “Ipradagon zirȳla. (Eat him)”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The silver haired man widened his eyes after hearing her voice, realizing that he would not have the same death as his mother and sister. Vermithor growled loudly, taking his time. Aemond looked up at him just when he opened his mouth and swallowed him fully. The look of shock on his face will probably be carved forever in Visaella’s mind, as a gratifying memory.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She turned around only to find everyone looking at her. She looked to the faces of the present people, she managed to see fear in some of them. She walked towards Daemon, who arched his eyebrow when he saw her expressionless face, expecting her to be broken and crying until her eyes felt sore. But she was intact, with just a few dry tears on her face. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “Gather the Green Tropes that are left.” She commanded, “Send ravens to every single Lord and Lady in the realm. Tell them to come to King’s Landing to bend the knee to the rightful heir to the throne, or else they will suffer the same consequences as them.” Her head moved pointing at the place where the burnt bodies were. Daemon bowed his head as affirmation.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Visaella looked at Jacaerys who was staring at the floor without being capable of looking at her. She grabbed his face between her hands and forced him to do it; he was crying.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She reached his forehead and left a soft kiss in it, “We won, brother.” She whispered, “Now we can finally live at peace.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Jacaerys saw her eyes and nodded assuringly. She gave him a soft smile before starting to walk away to the inside of the castle that now belonged to her at the same time that Vermithor flew away. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ As she was getting further from the rest, her smile started to get bigger. She had fulfilled her duty, she kept her word and avenged her family, gaining back what belonged to her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Her smile just showed how relieved she felt. It was over now, she finished the war before it could even start. She knew very deep inside her that her mother would be proud of what she had done for her. Now she could finally live in peace.

+

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Two months later all the Lords had come to King's Landing, with Lord Stark being the last one to arrive. They were gathered in the Throne room, along with servants, some peasants, and the guards. They were all waiting for her.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ When the gates were opened, everyone turned to see her delicate frame, and a silence took over the place. She was wearing a black gown, with metal ornaments that imitated a dragon’s scales; it seemed like an armor. Her hair was perfectly braided, not a single hair strand was out of place. She was looking completely gorgeous.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The princess started to walk in the large hallway that divided the two big groups of people that were there to witness her coronation. She saw the front, at one side of the throne was the Maester Gerardys along with Daemon, and at the other side was Ser Erryk and Jacaerys. The last one was looking proudly at her.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She saw around the audience the faces of many lords and ladies that she could recognise. Some of them as Lord Stark and Lady Arryn were staring at her with subtle smiles, while others as Lord Lannister and Lord Baratheon were caught with scared hazes; they had supported the usurper after all, and they were afraid of what she might be capable of doing with them.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She felt the weight of everybody’s stare on her, that made her feel nervous. Her nails started to pinch the flesh of her hand, trying to make her calm down and relax. She needed to enjoy her big day after everything she went through to get there.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ Once she arrived right in front of the throne, she kneeled before the Maester. He took a vase filled with liquid and started the ceremony. Two stomps were heard before the Grand Maester spoke,

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “We gather here, to be witnesses of this great event.” His voice echoed around the room, it sounded loud and clear. “The rightful heir to the Iron Throne, has defeated the usurper!” He dipped his thumb in the water and marked her forehead with it. “May the Warrior give her courage, may the Smith lend strength to her sword and shield.” She looked at Daemon, who was smiling down at her, and then she looked at the hand-shaped pin decorating his vest. “May the Father defend her in her need, may the Crone lift her shining lamp and light her way to wisdom.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The Maester slowly gave the vase back to Jacaerys, and then he grabbed the crown; Aegon’s crown. He passed it to Ser Erryk, who took a step forward, grabbing it and lifting it up for everyone to see. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ “The Conqueror’s Crown passed down through generations, and now it will lay on our Queen’s head.” She held her breath once she felt the weight of the crown on top of her head. “Let the Seven be witness: Visaella Targaryen defeated the usurper, and claimed her position as the rightful heir to the Iron Throne.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ He offered his hand, she delicately took it and stood up. He was the first one to bow, followed by the Maester, Jacaerys and lastly, Daemon. She sighed deeply, and she turned around. Joffrey, Viserys and Aegon were on the front row looking at her with excitement; their sister is now the queen, they might have thought. Baela and Rhaena were next to them smiling slightly at her. Everyone seemed pleased to see her with the Conqueror’s Crown on her head.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ They were all signs that she had done the right thing. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The Maester cleared his throat, “All hail the Queen!” He yelled. “Visaella of House Targaryen, first of her name. Queen of the Andals, the Rhyonar and the First Men, lady of the Seven Kingdoms, and protector of the realm.”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ A silence was taking over the room, until Ser Erryk screamed, “Long may she reign!”

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ In unison, all the presents repeated his words, creating a deafening echo in the room that made her feel shivers down her spine. Visaella stood up tall looking around with her jaw clenched, and proud of what she had achieved.

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ However, in a subtle movement, she touched her belly. A small, melancholic tear fell down her cheek knowing that the last piece of Aegon was growing inside her. 

‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ The emerald kinship will prevail, a small child with his sire’s face.

[yutanology]

Promise Me | Yandere! Nakamoto Yuta X Fem!Reader

Warning : 18+, possessive, foul behaviours, sexual content(nothing biggie), mental illness, death, etc. No proofread. Please, don't be too harsh on me. I'm still new and this is my first ever one shot/fanfiction here :)

Word count : 2.4k+

"Could you just stop?" Y/n whisper shouted at her seatmate who had been bothering her since this morning.

It's not like this is new to her or to anyone in their class but today, he seemed to be more clingy and touchy than he usually was and she found it quite unusual.

By the time she stepped into the school campus this morning, he abandoned his game with his friends on the soccer field just to greet her with his dashing smile and a nice warm hug.

She didn't mind it at first as she was already used to it but when she thought he's going to leave her alone after that, he followed her around instead like a lost puppy. She could almost see a furry tail happily wagging behind him.

Everywhere she goes, he's there right beside her. Either his hands were holding hers or his arms were wrapped around her lower waist. Some people were jealous or happy when they thought they're finally officially together and when someone questioned their relationship, Y/n would immediately respond saying they're just friends while Yuta would say otherwise, leaving them confused.

He was still attached to her during her classes and even ditched his just to be with her. The teachers could only sigh in defeat and shake their head. They knew that whatever they say, there's nothing they can do to make the stubborn guy follow their orders.

At the end, he'd always get what he wants.

The Japanese boy glanced at her side profile. His head was laying on top of his other hand. Seeing her brows furrowed irritatedly, he stopped for a moment before continuing to twirl a few strands of her silky hair between his long fingers.

It doesn't look like he has any plans of keeping his hands to himself at all. She'd been trying to get rid of him for countless times and she failed with all of those useless attempts. She's so close of getting angry at him but she doesn't want to lash out on him and seem like a bad person.

With her another sigh passing through her soft reddish lips, she looked at the clock on the wall. ‘Just five minutes more, Y/n. Just a little more patience, you can do it.’ she tried to convince herself. By those five minutes, she let Yuta play with her hair.

When the school bells rang and echoed around the campus, she immediately fixed her things and rushed out of the classroom before the teacher could even dismiss them. The corridors are already crowded and she could only hope that Yuta wouldn't be able to follow after her this time.

She decided to go to the restroom and stayed there until she was certain that Yuta's nowhere around her. He's really acting weird and she couldn't understand why. Whenever she asked what's wrong with him, he'd always say the same thing like 'I'm fine. It's all in your mind.’

His gaze, the way he looks at her also felt different this time. She felt something uneasy somewhere in the pit of her stomach or maybe there's something wrong with 𝘩𝘦𝘳. Maybe she's just overthinking way too much since that's what she always do mostly when she doesn't get enough sleep and she stayed up late last night.

That's right... these shit are all just in her head.

She released an exhausted sigh and turned the faucet on to wash her face, hoping that it would also wash her frustrations away. She reached for a handkerchief from her bag and wiped her face dry as she made her way out of the comfort room.

Her heart almost jumped out of her ribs when she found Yuta standing just a single step from the exit. She gasped and her hand immediately flew to her chest in surprise. "Yah! Stop scaring me like that!" she yelled and he only chuckled in amusement.

"I've been waiting for you. What took you so long?" he asked her, locking his hand on hers as he lead her to the canteen. Eyes of the people they passed by were immediately on them like they're more interesting than the lessons that their teachers taught them.

"Wait, why were you waiting for me?" confusion was evident on her face.

"So we can eat together for lunch, of course. Come on, we don't have all the time. Classes are going to start after forty minutes." he casually said, pulling her closer to him when they walked passed a group of boys and he didn't fail to notice the way they looked at Y/n.

He didn't like it, not even a bit.

Y/n seriously couldn't count how many times she sighed at how she always end up letting Yuta do whatever he wanted to do with her. From the simple hand holds to sudden random kisses that he pepper on her face. No matter how hard she tried to push him off, he'd always stick himself even more closer to her.

It was like that for the passed weeks and it was honestly so tiring as hell. Yuta just won't leave her alone even when she goes to the restroom, he would insist to wait outside the cubicle that she had to push him away and lock the main door of the room.

She could barely talk to other people peacefully as he would shoo them away immediately and ask them to leave her alone. It was so frustrating and she's getting fed up of his unexplained foolish practices.

She's well aware that the guy likes her more than just a friend and she also can't deny that she's attracted to him but these behaviours of his are just too much for her.

The said dirty blonde haired Japanese guy was sitting closely beside her, his chin rested on her right shoulder as he watched her turn pages of the book that she's reading. He wasn't paying attention to the words written on the dead leaves. His eyes stared at her small hands, wondering how they would feel like around his cock—

"Yuta." the guy's ears perked up when she said his name. Snaking his arms around her waist, he pulled her to his chest and planted a kiss on her neck. Her cheeks heated at the unexpected skin contact but she tried her best to ignore the butterflies that he's giving her.

She's planning to finally confront him and she had to make him stop whatever he's doing cuz it's no fun at all. It's not entertaining and she's not amused at all. "Yuta." he hummed, his kisses getting wet and he started to graze his teeth on her skin, lightly nibbling on them until he finally bit hard enough to leave a mark.

A whimper tried to escape her mouth but she's fast enough to bite her lower lip, trapping the sound until it disappeared on it's own. He was disappointed when she didn't make any sound for him, thinking that he didn't do well enough to make her feel good so he ran the tip of his tongue on her neck.

His hot minty breath heated her skin and tingles spread around her body when he blew her sensitive ear, nibbling her earlobe and placing a kiss on one of her flushed cheeks. His hands wandered under her blouse, caressing the side of her hips with his thumb.

He slowly dragged his large hands up under her breasts and just when he was about to touch them, Y/n pulled away from him. A low whine and groan simultaneously erupted from him, complaining at the lose of skin contact from her.

Y/n looked around the library if someone saw them and she was thankful that no one was there but only them. She straightened her blouse, closing the book and stood up. "Where are you going?" he also stood up from his seat, ready to follow her wherever she's going.

She didn't answer him. She slung one of her bag's strap on her shoulder, walking away with the book and placed it back to where she took it. Yuta was quick to keep up with her steps, confused of why she was suddenly in a hurry.

When they finally got out of the library, she stopped at the nearby bleachers where students barely pass by and turned to him with an exasperated sigh, "Yuta, seriously, what's wrong with you?" the way she questioned him came out more stressed out than how she wanted it to be.

Yuta blinked his eyes a few times as if he's trying to figure out what she meant. "What do you mean, what's wrong with me? I'm totally fine. Are you okay?" it was his turn to ask her, walked close to her and placed a hand on her forehead.

"Are you sick? You don't seem fine to me. Let me take you to the clinic—"

"Yuta, stop." she stepped away from him before he could even hold her hand. He halted, his brows met as his eyes stared at her worryingly.

"Stop whatever you're doing to me and please, leave me alone. I also need some time for myself and other people around me, alright? You can't keep me from interacting with anyone. This is honestly suffocating, Yuta. We can't keep doing this."

He felt like his heart shattered into tiny pieces. His chest tightened and his airways narrowed, making him unable to breath properly. Without him knowing, tears were already streaming down his cheeks.

Y/n was taken aback at this, immediately feeling guilty for making him cry. She didn't expect him to be this emotional for his appearance.

"Look, I'm sorry but—"

"D-don't you love me anymore, Y/n?" He didn't let her finish her words, leaving her speechless at the question.

Her mouth left agape, struggling to find the right words to tell him. "Did you find someone else better than me that's why you're planning to leave me, is that it?" more salty water poured out of his eyes.

"Yuta, w-what are you talking about? We're not in a relationship to begin with."

"Then let's be together officially! Just you and me, Y/n. I'll do anything just to be with you. I promise, I'll be the best boyfriend you'll ever have. I'll give you everything you want—" he held her arms, "—just promise me I'll be the only one you'll ever love and want to be with. Promise me, Y/n. Promise me!"

Yuta secured his arms around her, holding onto her desperately. Scared that if he lets go, he might lose her. He can't let that happen. Like what he said, he'll do whatever it takes just to have her.

All for himself.

"Y-you have to promise me, Y/n."

Her head was clouded with a lot of thoughts. She was barely thinking straight and her emotions also messed up with her. She really likes Yuta. The increasing speed of her heartbeat and the butterflies flying around her stomach with euphoria whenever she's with him didn't lie at all but it felt wrong.

These feelings didn't feel right.

She pulled herself away from him and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Yuta..." that was all she said before she left him without even looking back at him.

She had no idea how it broke him and how it made him do things that a normal person wouldn't do. He saw nothing but red after she disappeared from his sight. Everyone who tried to touch or talk to her the next day suddenly disappeared, a minute after they left somewhere else.

At first, she didn't think much about it until the number of people disappearing quickly increased and made everyone alarmed. All schools around the place were forced to close for a moment and people were told to stay at home with tight security to keep them safe.

Everyone was scared including Y/n, of course.

It made her so anxious that she could barely sleep at night. One morning, a knock on her door echoed around her silent apartment and she panicked, quickly hiding on her bedroom.

She almost peed her pants in fear when the knocking and ringing of doorbells continued for minutes. Her phone went off on her nightstand and she ran to it. Yuta's calling.

Without a second thought, she answered it with trembling voice. "Y-yuta..."

"Y/n, are you okay? Please open your door for me, I have to make sure you're safe. I'm the one outside your house."

And that was all it took for him to be with her. Make her scared to be outside, convince her that everyone is dangerous and he's the only one who can protect her.

Whenever he goes outside to buy food and other necessities for the both of them, he'd always return with a small cut or bruises and it made Y/n scared that she might lose him too.

He's all she had left.

He made her thought of that. He's all and everything she could ever need. She'd be nothing without him.

"Do you love me?" he asked and she nodded silently.

"If you really do, promise me that you'll love me and only me, Y/n. I wanna hear it from you." Yuta looked at her straight in the eyes when he said those words.

"I promise." his heart raced inside his chest.

A smile stretched out on his plump lips. "I love you, Y/n. So much than you could ever imagine." He meant it. He always had and always will. He leaned his body closer to her, locking his lips with hers and they moved in sync.

This is paradise to him.

He couldn't explain how much happy he's right now. With her here in his arms, it's the only place where she's safe. He watched her drift off to sleep, he kissed her forehead when her eyes finally closed.

He could look at her like this forever. The love bites that he painted on her skin looks so beautiful. She's like the most beautiful painting he'd ever seen and she deserve to be placed on his art gallery but she's only for him to be looked at.

He sighed dreamily as he continued to press more kisses on her neck. He successfully made her love him. There's nothing he could ask for, now that her naked body is already tangled with him under their soft blanket.

He could only hope that she'd keep her words and stay true to him.

Feedbacks are pretty much appreciated and requests are open! Feel free to share your thoughts!

I will not always be active but I will try my best to attend each of your requests and to also interact with y'all.

I apologize for not being word-perfect in English. English sadly ain't for me—

[karrahkshatria]

PAIN and WISDOM TOOTH EXTRACTION

September 1, a time to welcome a new season that brings out joy to everyone. Jose Mari Chan on cue to sing his timeless Christmas songs that has engraved a sense of excitement in each of our hearts every time the “Ber months” commence.

               On the one hand, I face a gruelling challenge for the day as I was scheduled for my wisdom tooth extraction at 9 in the morning. I was feeling exuberant as the day started, believing that such procedure would be an effortless one and that I can finally get rid of this impacted wisdom tooth. I was even hesitant that I be accompanied to the dentist by my sister as I expected I can drive myself home and it would just be a no sweat predicament given that I’d be injected with anesthesia anyway.

               The dentist explained the matter based on the x-ray and expanded on so much, mentioning of the other things he discovered on the result. I kept on nodding and felt that there was too much information when all I could ever think of at the moment was how the procedure would feel and conclude. I realized I did not much prepare myself for one because I have experienced tooth extractions many times in my life and so there was not much fear inside of me. But when everything he discussed was absorbed in my mind and state of consciousness, I suddenly felt a bit frightened. Then again, I had no choice but to bear whatever pain there was on the process.

               I sensed the dentist’s struggle throughout the whole extraction thing. I would clench my fist whenever there was a discomfort or pain that originated from underneath. I can feel those tools come in doing its job of forcefully removing this relaxed tooth effortlessly lying down beneath my gums. While I was aware of the doctor’s tough job, I was relieved with the thought that he has been doing this for years already. So this one must be just one of the cases and sooner that we know it, it will just come through! After an hour or so, I saw this tooth full of blood out of my mouth. My eyes lit up and I felt relieved!

               I thought that was the climax of my day. But when I got home, I felt so much pain that even the painkiller could not fully do its job to alleviate it. I was not in my right mind as it has been a while since I last experienced such horrible discomfort. I never expected it to hurt like that but I guess you just really have to expect the unexpected. I underestimated the idea that when the anesthesia comes off, the real deal comes in. My lips were so numb I could hardly feel it and the heavy burden on my jaw just could not keep me calm.

               I was feeling really weak the whole afternoon that it kind of worried my mom. She remarked, “It’s just a tooth, you’ve had it way worse before.” That was actually what I was feeling before the whole thing materialized. I even questioned myself why I let myself be consumed with the pain when I’ve experienced even much worse before. And then I came to a realization that just because you have been in the same situation as before does not mean you’re numb to the next difficult circumstance that may come along the way. However, you also have to help yourself and rise from the occasion. Each pain comes with an important lesson and it is up to you to decide how it will make out of you.

               I have had my fair share of pain in a whole lot of aspects. I’ve been in numerous physical afflictions and I think each one tends to display a different level of agony. So I guess pain has a unique intensity of manifesting through our bodies. I underwent a major surgery in a way I have never imagined but I survived because of God’s healing. When I was younger, I got into an accident wherein a large karaoke fell on me and some few stitches were done on the upper part of my forehead. I recovered, again because of God’s grace. I could go on and on but I credit everything to the one up above for giving me the strength to withstand all those difficulties.

               Emotional and mental exhaustion are also another kind of pain that may come off as a normal thing to others. However, these kinds of challenges are just like any other physical sickness. The pain may come at a different extent but the experience of survival may just be the same. Fighting through rejections and insecurities and hopelessness are some of the many things I grew up with. Rejection after rejection can be a daunting experience.

               I have always been a dreamer and it hurts whenever I get so hopeful of an opportunity that I come across with. Then I tend to put myself on a pedestal, “Maybe, this is really it.” Afterwards, I’d see myself crumbling in pain and questioning myself why I did not make it. “When would that day finally come?” I get overly optimistic as I almost always reach to the very end of the whole thing, only to be disappointed by the end result.  But that’s life. You cannot have everything you want. I give myself a few days or weeks to feel the pain and evaluate on where I could improve so by the next time, I can correct the mistakes I previously committed. I would then find myself slowly picking up the broken pieces and figure out what to do next. I grab an inspirational book, pray about it and shower myself with encouragement.

               Life is but a series of wisdom tooth extractions. One day, you would feel a throbbing pain so you prepare yourself for what’s to come. But you cannot be totally ready for anything like that. You accept the situation as it is. Feel the pain. Feel it slowly getting deeper. When the pain subsides, you get up and focus on the good things. There is always light at the end, for pain is temporary. Your endurance and courage are your fuel. Most of all, your faith and never ending belief that something good will happen are your lifelines.  You see, pain is something that constantly reminds us that we are just human. Without pain, we can never truly experience how it feels to be relieved, to be healed and to move forward.

[tundrainafrica]

Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  

February 7, 2021. 

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 

@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 

@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

[icharchivist]

hello icha!!!!! learned from my mistakes and typed this out in a separate document. first i have to say im feeling a very deep connection with citron as of late bc i was giving myself a pep talk abt like physics and i told myself "face up and man the music!" and was like "...is that wrong. theres that song called man against the music isnt there... yeah it must be right" and. well i realized later. i also think the phrase "dont cry because it happened, smile because its over" is very good. also I’m halfway thru creating a very eclectic list of like. a Pokémon team for each a3 character which is… something. kinda knew it would happen to me. might take a while for me to finish it tho now that I’m halfway bc I’m suddenly having a crisis like “wait shit I’m only confident on my understanding and characterizing of like 4 characters am I good enough” so… it’s slow going lol. anyways. i finished that damn physics thing I was giving myself a pep talk about and so am treating myself to autumn/winter. happens that watching these events is also like. the only thing which reminds me to actually like. log into a3 lol. i am so bad at gacha games. probably a good thing in the long run. ok starting from the top!

hisoka going "zzz" as his reaction made me immediately go... oh dear, please dont fall asleep in the bath and guess what happened. yeah. good thing homare was there lol. speaking of i fucking adore homare and his poetry. id buy his collection. i also wish there was a collection like if there was a master list of every poem he says in like. at the very least main story. if not i will literally do it myself. i love homare so much im like him in that back when i had to play dodgeball id always be like kufufufu they cant hit me if im friendless enough that no one pays attention to me but like in my case it actually worked out. on the subject of the pillow fight tho, hisoka's crazy strong pillow fight throw... one more mark on the list for suspicious, maybe assassin occupation. this event made me realize how much i missed winter like. i saw the stranger pretty recently (which has caused the effect of be being like "taichi!! thats my boy!!" in my head everytime he shows up lol but anyways i havent gotten to a winter play yet so im VERY hype. especially bc this seems like it stars hisoka and homare??? like oh!! oh!!!! also detective fiction... im swooning. i also just enjoy the hisoka homare dynamic a whole fucking lot i think its nice how homare was like "yeah im ride or die for this funky lil amnesiac, why wouldnt you be?" and its just like. nice. feel like hes always reaching out to hisoka which is like. man homare is so nice.

back to chronology. ofc sakyo goes cheap for the hot springs lol. on brand as ever. was very hype for the azuma sakyo dynamic bc all i remember is like azuma trashing everyone including sakyo at some game or the other in one of the winter chapters and it was very good. or was this a clip in like a stage play? either way it was delightful. at first i misinterpreted taichi going "…" after azuma and sakyo said theyd never been on a field trip bc like. taichi being quiet or noncommunicative... after going thru autumn troupe act 1 it makes me fear for my life a little lol. anyways im glad he was just like planning fun times. speaking of taichi tho we got a tasuku taichi pair for etudes!!!! im not spoiling myself for later events but i hope to GOD tasuku and taichi do like a lead co lead in SOMETHING or at least like some mixed troupe event i want them to talk!!!

also dunno if this is an intentional pun but i enjoy that its called high spirits at the hot spring bc like oh theyre having fun but also bc like. "spirits" is used to refer to a certain type of alcohol i think? which is cool. dunno if its intentional but i liked that. anyways the talent show. taichis moving rendition of single ladies... ok i know it said single fellas but like. we know. wonder if that line was a different song in japanese? its not too old at ALL tho imo. anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment... flashback to when banri slaps juza live on stage instead of doing a stage slap lol. my reaction to azuma essentially went:

azuma: I can offer to bare my soul, and a little more ;)

izumi: what do u mean by that???

me: hey tasuku and omi were shirtless what's ur problem with azuma

anyways i reread and from what i understand they were maybe only flexing and doing a gun show? which like. no wonder it didnt last too long then lol. also explains why they didnt have shirtless sprites i suppose lmao. i am SO curious abt what azuma ended up doing tho that fade to black is so mysterious! did he tap dance? did he pole dance? the world will never know...

oh also im not like super familiar with azuma yet but my read on his personality is definitely like "I am so touch starved All The Time but I will be chill. :) :) this is fine :)" like he just seems to rly like being around people! just like basking in presence whether or not hes rly talking that much.

i enjoyed that juza mentioned pillow fighting with his lil brother... thats nice! i think a lot of this event was just focused on ppl having fun over the drama lol bc it got wrapped up sooo quick. i liked the bit where sakyos worried that izumi was out late searching for him tho it was so sweet. table tennis match was very fun although id argue calling hisoka and juza the two quietest tho lol like... banri exists so juza isnt quiet. just like inevitably. finally, the event cg!!! azumas hair tied up... so nice! thats how I tie my hair up sometimes tho it doesnt look nearly as nice lol. taichi rambling abt his first love for so long tho... lol. ill be honest i have to reread autumn bc i was not aware of this whole situation until it came up in the stranger and i like inferred from there. the end of this event was nice! it was cute. i dont rly have much thoughts on it but im so hype for the winter play

Hello:!!! so good to see you again, freshly learning from your mistakes then :3c

the connection with Citron is a BLAST to read about. I am glad that Citron is there, on your mind, supporting you at every turns of language. It's beautiful.

AND OH THE POKEMON LIST!!! thrilled to hear about it being a wip ongoing! take your time ofc and i hope you'll feel more confident as you go for your characters interpretation! i believe in you!

lmao i'm glad the events help you remember to play a3, i'm sure that by the time you'll be done with the events you will have unlocked so much of act 2 you won't have to worry too much about it. Anyway i'm glad you treat yourself to good things :3c

of course Hisoka fell asleep in the bath. tbh this event was a lot of "Hisoka almost dies in a spring house multiple times if it wasn't for his troupesmates". Between sleeping in the bath and almost swallowing the table tenis ball... where would we be without Winter, and especially Homare, taking care fo him.

I'm SO GLAD you like Homare that much! he's so so good! i'm sure there must be a masterlist somewhere, or well. can be done anytime i guess?? but yeah Homare is fantastic and LDJFDLKFJDF the evil plan to avoid dodgeball from both of you.. this is incredible DLKJFDLKF. But yeah alas he's loved by his own so he gets hit smh.

And yeah Hisoka is just acting sus huh.

BUT YEAH... YEAH... WINTER... BELOVED.... I feel regular and normal feelings for Winter as you know, s o .

(i'm so delighted that you feel that way about Taichi though, as he deserves!! what a good boy!!!)

But yeah Winter play next!!!!! i love the winter plays so much i hope you'll like it as well!! aND YEAH HISOKA AND HOMARE AS A DUO... for a DETECTIVE story?? so good.

I'm sO GLAD you like their dynamic! yeah i adore it too. Homare was so quick to leap into taking care of Hisoka? Like i mean he immediatly called him sleeping beauty when they first met, and immediately decided to be his roommates to watch over him, and then he did everything to take care of him and it's just so sweet. Homare has such a big heart he's so gentle with Hisoka. Homey and comfortable, whenever Hisoka admits it or not ahah.

ahah wouldn't be Sakyo if he didn't need to stay cheap. BUT YEAH the Sakyo/Azuma dynamic is pretty good. oh the event you talk about i think is in some of his very first backstage storyes (that you can read if you have them since they're at this point of the chronology). There's one where they play a mafia game and Sakyo is warry of Azuma because "people like him are those you need to worry about the most" and Azuma is just ":) you wound me :) i would never :)" and then Azuma wins the game and starts to mess with everyone. It was so fun. and yeah i see which clip you mean for the stage play!! it's so so fun they have such a neat dynamic and i loved to see it in this event as well.

and omg worrying about Taichi while he was just there preparing a fun time! this child really would have worried us all back then huh

but AHH YEAH TASUKU TAICHI.... It's such a neat dynamic! ofc i won't say anything but man i love the potential of their stories, as the two ex Godza boys. To see them bond and be comfortable with each other always make me so soft.

OH NICE CATCH FOR THE PUN! i think it must be the reason for it tbh, i love it! thanks for pointing it out!

The talent show was really fun yeah ahah! I wonder what it is in Japanese too but at least the localization was hella fun!

"anyways the way banri and juza being themselves Are the entertainment." THEY'RE SO SILLY I love them so much

AND LMAO YOUR REACTION AT AZUMA I LOVE IT. YEah i think Tasuku and Omi are just flexing (which is Still. SO FUNNY. Just there saying "our talents is.. our muscles...") meanwhile Azuma is like "my talent is that i'm crazy hot :)"

But YEAH Azuma... AZUMA WHAT DID YOU DO....

your read on Azuma's personality feels pretty spot on to me ahah omg. Staying with what you know about him, the fact that with his job and all, he seems like he's starving for connection while also terrified to make himself emotionally vulnerable. He loves staying with people, listening to them, caring for them, and he's touch starved as hell (i mean it's his job) but he doesn't seem to really know how to be on the receiving hand of affection. there's a flair talk, i can't remember where, with Omi at some point, where Azuma compliments him, and Omi is just "mhm.. but you know i think that it's more about you" and ends up complimenting Azuma in depth and it let Azuma dumbfounded because he didn't expect Omi to trick him at his own game, while Omi just genuinely don't get why Azuma is reacting that way. He gives he gives he gives, and he's genuinely happy with that, but he seems to have difficulties to take, or to demand for something, while also starving for it. I have so many emotions for Azuma.

Any mentions of Juza's little bro are the best things. I love this type of mention TwT

And yeah it was such a laid back event. Honestly deserved after the crying fest that was The Stranger imo. It's good to relax once in a while and it was nice to have them have fun. There was the bitterness of both Azuma and Sakyo's past that was always a bit looming but everyone was working so hard for them to enjoy themselves that the joy just overtake any sadness i loved it.

Sakyo worrying about Izumi is always adorable TwT

And yeah the Table Tennis match was so fun and chaotic LMAO. I love the dynamic between Juza and Hisoka. Just two usually quiet boys who like sweets. Except that yeah like you say, as long as Banri is around, Juza cannot be 100% quiet. Rip.

THE CG WAS SO PRETTY i loved seeing it. And omg you can share your hairtips with Azuma how nice :D Azuma manages to make everything look beautiful smh....

Oh yeah Taichi and his first love! if i recall he mentions it quickly at the begining, that Yuki reminds him of his first love, and he says that again at some point - then the fake Portrait he does he mentions his first love again. And since then it's been a reccuring topic so yeh :3c

but yeah! this event was really sweet and laid back, not much to say about it, but it was nice to have it at all!

Hope you'll like the winter play :3c

Take care and thank you again for your thoughts <33 i love reading them!! bless you!!

[megumis-lashes]

Love Bites

Vampire! Han Jisung x Reader Part 2

**Contains**: mentions of blood/blood drinking, parental abuse, bullying, fighting, slight swearing, emotional abuse, friends to lovers, werewolf Hyunjin, western high school standards, female reader

Flashback =

> Hello

Spending the weekend with Jisung was awkward to say the least. I knew it was in no way his fault. It was mine. I hadn’t had ‘friends’ in years and practically forgot how to act around other people. Thankfully his bubbly personality seemed to make up for everything I lacked. Following the weekend I knew I had to attend school. As much as I hated it, I knew that skipping would only spell more disaster for me in the future. I arrived to school with Jisung, looking somewhat put together despite my rough situation.

I never knew how knowing and interacting with certain people could gain. So. Much. Attention. I forgot just how popular Jisung really was. He wasn’t the most popular, but the majority of students could easily recognize him in a croud. Much to my dismay, people began to spread rumors about the situation. The biggest one was in regard to why I arrived with someone like him, or even talked to him for that matter. We had never talked outside of school before this. This reminded me of a similar situation. My parents being the way they are had signed me up for the school tutor program. Much to my dismay I had been assigned the school’s pretty boy, Hwang Hyunjin,as my student. Despite his constant attempts at becoming my friend, Hyunjin and I’s relationship was purely professional. I helped him out on school work and I would get more points for college. This didn’t stop the rumors though. Many jealous ‘fangirls’ spread rumors about us dating, which I didn’t appreciate. I would constantly get hate notes delivered to my locker.

I quickly dismissed Jisung and began my day. Today was pretty standard. I had two quizzes and some homework due, but nothing too bad. The only thing that scared me was what my lunch schedule held. Hyunjin had a huge unit test in chemistry today and he requested my help during lunch period. I hadn’t really given him an answer, but he said that if I showed up he could pay me. Right now I really needed the money so I was willing to accept a few more hate notes than usual. After my morning classes I showed up to lunch and sat by Hyunjin’s group of friends, surprising them in the process.

“Wow Hyunjin is this your girlfriend? I’ve seen you with her before.” One of the boys questioned. I think his name was Felix.

“No, no this is my tutor, name. She’s here to help me study for my chemistry unit test, I’m just surprised she showed up is all.” He chided as he rubbed his neck nervously. I could tell he was in no way ready for this test.

“Don’t worry the study session should be quick. I’ll make sure you’re prepared before the end of lunch. You should still have some time.” I explained as I shuffled through my backpack. I handed Hyunjin a small study guide I prepared for him.

“Here’s something I threw together. Read that over and tell me what you don’t understand. I’ll be over there when you’re done.” I smiled subtly as I walked over to the next table. Despite his popularity he was still a normal teenager.

As I had expected, helping Hyunjin during lunch drew some attention to me, especially from the ‘popular girls’ or whatever they like to be called. I never really minded their existence, but I could always feel their eyes burning into me whenever I hung around their ‘love interest’. Before lunch ended collected my payment from Hyunjin and went to use the restroom. I was fixing my hair in the mirror when those girls walked in.

“Oh if it isn’t name! That’s funny we were just looking to talk to you!” I sighed in annoyance. I was in no mood to talk with them for whatever reason. I never had many interactions with them, but they still managed to put me on edge. Their small group consisted of two juniors and one sophomore. Their leader ‘Mia’ was a relatively tall girl with long black hair who typically wore bright red lipstick. She was by far the worst out of them. Along with her was her close friend, Jiuen. She had bleach blond hair that she often styled in curls. The last girl was rather mysterious. I honestly couldn’t remember her name. She wasn’t one to stand out in a crowd and I don’t think she was a part of the group by choice. She had dark brown hair, styled in pig tails, and wore chunky blue glasses.

“Did you need something?” I sighed. I would have to leave for class soon.

“Ah yes!” Mia answered. “We’re here to make a deal with you!” I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion.

“What about?” I questioned

“So you see you’ve been hanging out with some popular people lately, and I guess you could say that I’m a bit jealous.” She giggled. “I hate to be that person but could you do me a favor and leave them alone? I need all the chances I can get in getting a boyfriend!” She explained.

I sighed. “Are you serious? If you’re talking about Hyunjin there’s nothing going on between us at all. Same with Jisung. We’re simply acquaintances who help each other out from time to time. I don’t see how it’s a problem.”

“Well I’m afraid that’s not convincing me. There’s no way I know anything about your relationships so you could be lying for all I know. I simply cannot trust your word on this!” She huffed. I rubbed my temples in annoyance.

“Look I swear I’m telling the truth. What would I even gain from lying? Plus there’s no way I can fully avoid Hyunjin as I am his assigned tutor.”

“Just request a change in students it’s not that difficult. I don’t see why you can’t just help me out this one time.” She groaned dramatically.

“Well what’s in it for me? You’re practically rewriting my life for your benefit only. I’m sorry but I’m not changing my entire schedule just so you can have a better ‘chance’!” I was getting sick of this conversation. I wanted to leave.

“Fine then you leave me no choice! I can easily destroy you.” She snickered.

“What do you mean?” She was making me anxious. She barely tried to convince me and she’s already pulling out her greatest asset?

“Well if you somehow managed to forget, I am the principals daughter. I could easily pull some strings. Maybe I could say you cheated! Yeah that’s a great idea! All the grades you worked so hard on would turn to dust! Then you’d be suspended for breaking school law! Oh and I’m sure your parents wouldn’t be so happy about that now would they?” She chuckled as she pulled out her phone.

“You can’t be serious Mia. This isn’t that deep.” I tried to stop myself from shaking.

“Oh I’m serious! It only takes a press of my finger to ruin you! If I send a report to my dad about you cheating, I know he’d believe me! You’re best option is to just agree to my conditions! There’s no way your parents would be happy with you being expelled!”

I was on the verge of tears. There was nothing I could do in this situation. She was right. There was no way I would be let of the hook for being expelled. This combined with all the stress I had been feeling in the past week led me closer and closer to breaking.

“Fine.” I stammered “You win. I won’t talk to either of them and I’ll ask to tutor someone else. Just please don’t mess with my grades. You know how much they mean to me.” I pleaded.

She giggled. “Finally you gave in! Alright then that’s a deal! I won’t ruin you, or at least not until later!” She exclaimed. I gritted my teeth, still trying to keep my composure.

“Come on girls let’s go!” She led the girls from the bathroom. Upon leaving she slammed into my shoulder, effectively pushing me into the wall. That hurt like hell.

“Haha so sorry! I must’ve not see you there!” She chuckled again and walked away with her group.

I cringed in pain as I felt the warm tears I had worked hard to withhold cascade down my cheeks. Wasn’t this an eventful week.

For the rest of the day I made it my duty to avoid the two boys at all costs. I could in no way afford that level of failure going on my record. I would be doomed for all eternity. Avoiding them wasn’t too difficult during classes. I was in much higher classes than Hyunjin and only shared a few classes with Jisung. Thankfully I had all my shared classes in the morning. At the end of the school day, I requested a new student to tutor. I claimed our timing didn’t work out and left a small note to Hyunjin explaining it was for personal reasons. I continued through my day as unaffected as I possibly could act. I attended volleyball practice until 6, then took a different route back to Jisung’s house in hopes of avoiding him completely. I managed to sneak in through his back door (AN: no pun intended) since he had given me a key. I only saw him once that night for a brief moment. He questioned why he didn’t see me and I explained that I had volleyball and homework to do. I also warned him that he probably wouldn’t see me much after school so that he wouldn’t worry. The next morning I left before he woke up.

Over the course of the next few weeks I was successful in avoiding both Hyunjin and Jisung. Jisung did seem a little suspicious of seeing me extremely rarely, but he didn’t push his questions since I helped with chores and even payed him a portion of the money Hyunjin had given me. Hyunjin on the other hand was extremely bothered over my sudden change in schedule. He would constantly try to approach me at lunch or during class and as much as it pained me, I would force myself to ignore him or walk away giving him some dumb excuse. I knew he didn’t believe anything I said. The most persistent thing he did was leave me letters. I read the letters but I never replied. He would often describe his day and somehow always end up on the topic of tutoring. He explained how he was assigned a new tutor, except it was a girl that was a year under him. Despite how advanced she was in classes, she knew little of the junior material and was even more confused than Hyunjin. With his constant begging for me to come back I constantly felt terrible about my decision. As much as I appreciated his efforts at keeping in contact with me, there was one small issue. He. Was. Extremely. Obvious. Practically the entire school knew he left envelopes in my locker, many of them believed the notes to be love letters.

Today was no different. I was returning to my locker at the end of the school day only to find another note. Upon first look it was easy to understand why people thought the notes to be out of love. Hyunjin wasn’t exactly great at portraying his emotions and could be rather dense at times. He used a baby pink envelope and decorative stationary that I could only assume belonged to a female in his family. In today’s note he described how desperate he was to have me as a tutor again. His current tutor recently passed out from what Hyunjin had described as ‘confusion’ and had been too embarrassed to show up to tutor sessions the past couple sessions. When Hyunjin attempted to ask for a new tutor, the teachers refused as he had changed tutors once that month already. I chuckled. I could tell he was panicking while he wrote the letter. His messy handwriting was a stark contrast to the beautiful card. He could be dense at times but I knew he was a smart kid, he could manage without me for a while. What I failed to notice at the time were the burning stares drilling into my back.

“Hi name! It’s a nice day today isn’t it! You wouldn’t mind going on a small walk with us would you?” My small smile quickly faded. That voice, I could recognize it anywhere. It was Mia and by the overly ‘happy’ tone of her voice I could tell she wasn’t too happy with me. As much as my gut pleaded me not to follow her I couldn’t risk anything.

“Sure.” I murmured. I quickly finished packing my backpack and shut my locker, following the three girls. The girls stopped at a small shady spot at the back of the school. They weren’t lying it was nice out. It was a clear fall day, the sun shining beautifully in the sky. Despite all this I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it. I was scared shitless of what they were going to say. Mia quickly faced me.

“So what do you have to say for yourself? Liar.” I creased my brows in confusion.

“What do you mean? I haven’t broken our agreement?” I really hoped they withheld their part of the deal.

“Well name you aren’t very subtle. I thought with how smart you are you would know better!” She scoffed.

“I’m still confused as to what to what you mean?” I was seriously starting to panic at this point.

“Just give up already. You don’t have to play dumb for me anymore. I know you broke our agreement. Your little relationship with Hyunjin is pretty obvious if you ask me. Sure you may have stopped tutoring him but I see how he leaves letters for you. You read every single one and you even chuckled while reading today’s ‘love letter’. You’re not a sly as you think!” She exclaimed. I knew she was mad now.

“No, no, no you’ve got it all wrong! I’m in no secret relationship with Hyunjin and I never reply to his letters! He’s just struggling in class and wants me to tutor him again but I’ve told him I can’t-“ Time seemed to freeze at that moment. What woke me from my trance was a sharp pain to my left cheek.

She slapped me.

I was frozen out of pure shock. As I blinked out of it I could feel warm drops of blood stream from a small cut on my check. I definitely didn’t expect her to get physical.

“That’s what you deserve you deserve you bitch! How dare you! I went easy on you! I made an agreement and you just had to ruin everything! That’s it! Two can play at this little game of yours! By Friday I’ll make sure to ruin you and make sure the whole school hears your embarrassing little sob story as well!” She screamed as I collapsed to the ground. My shaking legs had finally given out a look of shock still painted on my face. She began to walk away. I stumbled forwards towards her.

“Wait! No! No! No! You can’t do this to me! What did I ever do to you! I never did anything-“ She cut me off by yanking my hair. I sobbed out of fear and despair.

“Shut up. YOU ruined my chances. YOU broke the deal! Think of this as ALL. YOUR. FAULT!” She finished her argument by slamming her hand bag in my face. I cringed in pain as the metal clasps made contact with my skin. That was sure to bruise later. Following their leaders departure, Jiuen walked over to my slumped form. She shuffled in her bag and pulled out a small carton of milk. She quickly tore open the carton and dumped it over my head. I sobbed and coughed in disgust. The third girl did absolutely nothing besides stand there and look down at me in pity. She quickly ran after the other girls.

“Why me?”

I sat there for what felt like hours but was probably along the lines of 15 minutes. I felt disgusting to say the least. I had never wanted to shower this much in my life. I took of my bag, thankful it was still clean, and began to dig around. I quickly found an old gym shirt and used that to somewhat clean my face.

The walk home was humiliating. I could feel the stares of students and teachers alike burn into my back. I kept my head low. The walk itself felt like torture. I was exhausted, both mentally, emotionally and physically. I was also still in pain. I could feel blood ooze from the cuts on my face and the bruises begin to form. I’d probably have to buy some concealer to hide the bruising. Upon arriving to the house I quickly stumbled inside. Once I reached the living room I realized my mistake. Jisung was home and was staring right at me.

“What the fuck happened to you?” He questioned almost flying off the sofa. He must’ve been playing games before my arrival.

“Oh, uhh nothing really. I just uhh... tripped is all. Don’t worry I’ll go take care of it.” I knew it was probably the worst excuse of the decade but I really didn’t have the energy to make a better one.

“Bullshit! You have bruises and scratches almost exclusively on your face! Plus I can tell you’ve been avoiding me!” He exclaimed as he approached me “Name you don’t have to act strong all the time. I can tell you’re not ok. Please tell me what happened... if you can.”

It didn’t take another word from Jisung for me to breakdown in a mess of tears. It was about time. The amount of stress I had been experiencing was extremely unhealthy. Combined with the fact that I wasn’t allowed to express emotions at home, the pressure was too much.

“I-I got into a f-fight.” I sobbed. “I really don’t know what I did wrong! They had to blackm-mail me for what? Having friends?” I buried my head in my hands. I was broken. “They got mad at me for being by you and Hyunjin! They, they threatened to ruin me! All my hard work! My hours of unhealthy studies! All to make my parents happy! But they just had to destroy it all out of spite!” I coughed as I felt the salty tears slip onto my lips. My sobs were cut off when I felt strong arms wrap around my middle.Jisung had hugged me. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had given me a hug. As happy as I should of been, the physical contact simply made me sob harder.

“Slow down, slow down! I know you’re upset and I’m here for you! Just go at your own pace. I’m not gonna go anywhere until you’re done.” He patted my back. I tried to calm my breathing and began to explain. Explain everything, from when I had been kicked out to when the girls had first blackmailed me to when they attacked me for Hyunjin’s notes. It was exhausting to just remember those events. Then I explained everything about my parents. How difficult they were. Nothing mattered besides numbers and results.

“They could care less about my existence as a person, or their daughter. “ I explained. We were now seated on his large sofa, his hand holding mine out of comfort. The whole time I explained my situation I could tell he was listening. He started at me attentively with a kind look in his eyes.

“I never knew we were so similar.” He chuckled as he scratched his neck.

“What do you mean.” I questioned, drying the tears from my face.

“The whole parent thing I mean. My parents are incredibly hard on me as well. I’m the next in blood line per say, and because of my familial ranking I take an important family position once my parents die. They aren’t necessarily that focused on grades like your parents are but they care a lot about field performance. That doesn’t mean I can slack in school though.” He sighed. “Other than that they barely pay any attention to me. They let me figure out everything on my own. By the age of 12 I practically lived alone. I’ve been an adult for almost the entirety of what should’ve been my childhood.” He sighed. “Anyway thank you for explaining it to me I know it’s been difficult for you. As much as you dislike them, let’s make a deal.”

“About what?” I blinked myself awake. I was starting to get really tired.

“No more secrets. Don’t keep this sorta stuff to yourself from now on ok? It does more harm than good. I’m always here to listen!” He smiled. I could feel my checks warm at his smile. It was cute.

“Alright then.” I smiled bashfully. “Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise!” He confirmed, quickly wrapping his pinky around mine.

“Now I hate to be rude but you should really take a shower.” He scratched his neck as he chuckled.

“Hey! I went through a lot today!” I chided

“I know, I know. How about you go shower and then we can watch a movie! Maybe it’ll help you feel better!”

“Actually... that sounds really nice. But what about my homework? And my grades?” I completely forgot that school existed.

“Ahh don’t worry about it! I’ll do your homework for you when you shower! I already did mine so it’s fine! About your grades, just leave it to me! I’ll talk to them tomorrow ok!” He exclaimed.

“Are you sure?” I questioned. I’d feel guilty if he did all that for me.

“I’m sure! Now go!”

I started to walk to my room to go shower when I stopped.

“Hey Jisung?”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“Thank you.”

I smiled. My first true smile in a while.

[all-might-blog]

A Child and his Doll

All_Greenie

Summary:

Eliza Stevens is in Japan for the winter holidays when she stumbles upon an unlikely situation. A green-haired child, sitting alone in the rain with nothing more than the clothes on his back, a small bag and a super hero doll.

It was a rainy night, and it was cold and windy. The rain fell hard on my umbrella as I tried to make it to my hotel room in one piece. In fact, I yet had to get to the building itself, and I knew there was a long way to go despite everything. I was having a bad day.

My feet were cold and damp as I quickly walked down the sidewalk, boots splashing on puddles of rain water, the cold wind blowing at my rain coat's hood. It was already eleven forty six, and there were barely any people out due to the bad weather. Maybe a car or two here and there (zooming past and splashing water on her!), bit otherwise everyone was sheltered away from the bad night weather.

Right. Except me. I swore under my breath as I stepped on a reather large puddle of water, dampening my poor feet even more. The wind gave a sharp tug, nearly wrenching my umbrella from my hands.

"Shit!" I snapped, closing it. Better keep the umbrella in one piece than have to go through the trouble of getting a new one, and I was already a few streets away from the hotel. I pulled hard on my rain coat's hood, stomping along, teeth gritted, shivering with cold.

Then I saw him.

He was seated at the entrance of an emoty shop, sheltering underneath the small arch of the doorway. Yet he was still getting wet, head buried in his hands, trembling. My motherly side of me got the better of me and soon I was approaching him. I tapped his shoulder and he looked up at me. He couldn't be more than six, a small, thin child clinging to a super hero doll and a small, orange bag. He wasn't wearing anything to keep him worm but a thin jacket, and green hair stuck to his forehead.

He looked a mess and I got a feeling that he would be needing my help.

"What are you doing out here?!" I shouted over the thundering of rain.

"I'm lost!" he cried back. I pulled him to his feet and led him to a nearby alley, sheltering away from the rain. It was a bit quieter there, and easier to have a conversation.

"Why are you out so late? It's raining like crazy out there!" I said.

"I'm lost. I can't find my Daddy." the boy said, tears welling at his eyes. I bit my lip.

"Are you hungry?" he nodded. "My hotel is not far from here. I will get you there and see what I can do about this, okay? By the way, my name's Eliza. You?"

"Izuku."

"Are you still hungry?" I asked, popping both our plates into the dish washer.

"No, not really." Izuku replied. I looked back at him, his huge, expressive eyes staring into mine. I had brought him into my hotel room away from the rain, toweled down his driping hair and fed him with what little food I had in the fridge (which had been a rather large sandwich that I had divided in half for the two of us). He had practically wolfed down his food, and I wondered just how long he had been out in the rain. One fact was that he never parted ways with his beloved doll.

"And who is that little man?" I had asked when I had noticed this. He had held him up proudly, beaming.

"His name is A Might and he's the number one hero. Mommy made him for me." he said. To be honest, it was a cute doll, with a round face and black button eyes, as well as blonde hair with two bunny-ear-like tufts on his forehead. Izuku's mother was probably a talented seamtress, since she had done very well in adding in every single detail. He was dressed in a blue and red body suit, a red cloak stitched to his back.

After that, he had rambled on about All Might's superpower, his ability to save people with a smile, the fact that he was inspired by Izuku's father. I interrupted him there, asking him if he knew his name or his phone number.

"Mommy called him Toshi sometimes," he said.

"And phone number? Email?" I asked.

"Well, daddy told me that if I ever got lost, that I gave this to someone so that he could find me." He lifted the doll's cloak and easily fished out a small slip of paper from a hidden pocket, holding it out for me to take. I was surprised at this turn of events.

That doll would save Izuku, that's what I thought as I took it from him and found a phone number and an email written in it.

"Izuku, this is perfect. Thanks." I said, fishing out my phone from my pocket.

"What is it?" the boy asked.

"You father's phone number. It means that I can contact him and let him know where you are." I said, dialing the number. Izuku brightened up.

"Really?!" he said happily. I smiled as I put the phone to my ear. He picked up almost as soon as I had done so.

"Hello?" the man on the other end asked. I could hear desperation in his voice, and I knew it was Izuku's father.

"Hi. I know it's late, but I believe that I found your son? His name is Izuku." I added.

"Yes! Is he okay?!" the man cried, relief in his voice.

"Yes." I replied. "You can come pick him up now, if you don't mind the rain."

"I'll be on my way, then. Adress?" he asked. I could hear a door opening on the other end of the line. I gave him the name of the hotel and the street's name, as well as my own in case he had to ask about me. He thanked me deeply, and promised to be there in ten or so minutes.

"Daddy's coming?" Izuku asked me as I ended the call and left the phone on the table.

"Yes. Ten or so minutes, he said." I said. I held out the slip of paper. "You keep this safe, alright?" he nodded vigorously, putting it back into its pocket underneat the cape. "While we wait, how about you tell me a little more about All Might?"

He was pleased to do so. "Well, he's super brave and he's the Symbol of Peace. Mommy created him for one of the bedtime stories she used to tell me, and she made me this doll so I could always have him by my side. Usually, he's thin and tall because part of his power is to turn into a strong, muscly man. By the way, his power is called One for All, and his enemy is All for One, who is a bad, mean man with a potato head." he said that last bit clutching the doll in a hug.

I laughed as the image came into my head. "He musn't have been very dangerous then, right?"

"He was!" Izuku cried. "He was super evil and he nearly killed All Might! But All Might won, like always!" Izuku said thia happily, legs swinging.

"And your mother made all of this up?"

"Yes! She even put me, Daddy- he's All Might!- and hersef in it!"

"Wow, that sounds cool, eh?"

"It is! Do you want me to tell you part of the story? She didn't really get to finish it, though, but it's really cool!"

I agreed to it, and by the time a knock sounded at the door, he was animatedly telling me about the Hero school, U.A, he would have attended as a teen in the story.

"Just a moment, Zuku." I said, standing up. I opened the door to find a tall, thin man standing on the other side. He had a pair of noticeable blonde tufts of hair framing his face and unkempt short hair, dripping with rain water. He looked terribly worried.

"Are you Eliza?" he asked.

"Yes. Your son's inside. Do you want a drink or something?" I asked him. He was reluctant to step inside and 'drip water all over the place', but I told him there was no problem. As soon as Izuku saw him, the little kid ran and barreled into his legs, hugging him tightly. His father picked him up and returned the hug, dropping a kiss on his son's forehead.

"Thank god you are okay," he said with relief. He bowed to me, the Japanese way of thanks or apology. "Thank you so much for helping him out."

"Well, I couldn't just leave him outside now, could I? Take a seat, make yourself at home. I'll get you some tea." I replied. He sat at my small kitchen counter with Izuku on his lap. When I returned with the tea, the young boy was asleep, hugging All Might to him and nestling on his father's lap.

"I'm really sorry for the trouble," He said quietly.

"Ah, no worries. He's a nice kid. I haven't gotten your name yet?"

"Sorry. Yagi Toshinori, but you can just call me Toshinori." he anwsered. "Thank you so much for looking after Izuku. I couldn't believe that he had gone missing and I was terrified."

"Yeah, I know the feeling. Same thing happened to my little brother, but he turned up a few hours later." Eiza said. "Say, where's his mother? I would have expected her to come pick him up with you."

Instantly, the smile fell right off the father's face.

"Izuku didn't...?" he looked down at his sleeping son, then back up at her. "She... my wife died a few months ago. In an accident."

"Oh my... I'm really sorry..."

"So am I. At least she got to see him one last time before she passed. I don't think he understands yet, though. He's still too young to do so, and he misses her."

"Of course he does."

"I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to him because of me. I should have been more careful." he sighed, pressing the heel of his palm against his forehead.

"Well, he's all right now." I said, trying to cheer him up a bit.

"Yes. For that I am incredibly grateful. I am a bad teacher, but an even worse father..."

"Oh, I don't think so. Izuku speaks very higly of you." I said. "He really loves you as his father, as well as All Might."

Toshinori laughed at that. "Oh, I know he does. I just wish I could be a better father to him to make up for his mother's absence. In fact, I just wish everything could go back to normal."

"Nothing wrong in wishing that," I said.

"I suppose not." he drained the last of his tea. "Well, I wouldn't like to bother you more, and this young boy of mine needs rest. It was a pleasure to meet you."

"Before you leave," I quickly said. "He told me a story before you came here. My friend, he's a manga artist. You wouldn't mind if I told him this story? As a way to keep it alive, you know? He takes a lot of inspiration from these kind of things."

"You are asking me if he can use the idea?" Toshinori asked.

"Sort of? I'm going to be here for the winter holidays, and I would love for him to meet the two of you. Does coffee sound good for you?"

"Well... I will have to think about it. I wouldn't mind, but at the same time, it was Inko's creation and not mine to give. I'll talk to Izuku about it and let you know by next week."

"Sure. I don't want him to steal the idea, I just think it would be nice if everyone could get to know this story, as to not just let it disappear, you know?"

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

A Place To Call Home, Ch 4.

Fandom: Rosewell, New Mexico.

Summary: A canon divergent take on Roswell, New Mexico, and the relationships between Isobel, Noah, and Rosa; later parts will shift the focus to Michael and Alex, as well as Michael and Noah. What is it like to share a body with another alien? Can broken trust be mended? Do the ends really justify the means?

Rating: M.

Tags: Canon divergence, minor character death, not really character death, body sharing, polyamory, hurt/comfort, addiction problems, sickfic, revenge, fix it, friends to enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies to lovers, Noah is complicated, cw: dubious age stuff for a little bit considering Nasedo/Noah is who-the-hell-knows how old.

Word Count: 2333

Love, Nasedo had always thought, was often a weakness.

It felt good, there was no question about that. Every time they saw Rosa, there was a giddy, bubbly feeling that rose in their chest, and it felt as if electricity was running through them every time Rosa looked at them with that smile that she reserved only for them. Isobel was happy. Nasedo was happy. But it was that happiness that bred complacency. And  complacency? Complacency was dangerous.

"We'll tell her," Isobel decided the night after their second date, "if it gets serious."

They had gone to two movies in two weeks. Nothing else had happened. But they both knew, even if they hadn't talked about it, that they were already hopelessly attached. It was an unfortunate mechanism built into their biology; their species, while not necessarily monogamous, formed deep relationships with others after an emotional connection. Those connections were often lifelong, and they were not easily broken. In many cases, they lasted even beyond the death of the person. It wasn't anything to treat lightly, and Nasedo knew-- as Isobel knew-- that  'serious' was just around the corner. That was, if Rosa felt the same way.

If. 'If' was the only thing between their secret, and potential disaster.

It was the concept of everyone else finding out that was Isobel's true fear. Early May, Max almost saw texts from Rosa when he borrowed Isobel's phone for something; the next day, Isobel broke down before history class, and Nasedo steered them out to the bleachers. It was a warm, sunny day, and he stretched out with their sunglasses on and earphones in, listening to Isobel's favorite music. They were finally starting to relax when a shadow blocked out the light.

"Whatcha doing? You're supposed to be in AP History."

Nasedo cracked open an eye and glowered at Max. Although Nasedo had sworn to protect the prince, and would do so if only for Isobel's sake, he found the boy an annoyance. "You're blocking my sun."

"You get one more truancy, you'll be banned from the prom."

"I don't care about prom."

"Okay. Who are you right now?"

Oh, if only Max knew. Nasedo gave him a little goodbye wave and put the earphones back in, smiling as Max walked away with a frown marring that  pretty face of his. The brief amusement was short-lived. At some point, Isobel was going to have to say something to her brothers. If they were going to exist together for long-term, perhaps for their whole lives, it wasn't a secret she could keep forever. Michael already looked at them in a way that made Nasedo suspicious. Michael was a firebrand, reminding Nasedo of himself; he was angry, violent, chaotic, and too smart for his own good. It was only a matter of time, Nasedo was convinced, before Michael figured them out. And without a doubt, he'd tell Max. He told Max everything.

Unfortunately, Max had been right. Principal Markham pulled them into her office, banning Isobel from prom. Nasedo sighed. Isobel would fix things later. He took them home after school, locking them in their room to make up the homework they'd missed. Stupid rules. They had a perfect 4.0 GPA, who cared if they missed a few classes?

Isobel's parents, apparently. The minute they heard what happened, they started in on the snooty lectures and pointless threats. Nasedo nodded and muttered some platitudes. Whatever would get them to shut up. He was relieved when nighttime fell, and he was able to get ready for bed. Isobel hadn't returned; he couldn't blame her. Well, sometimes she needed a night, and he was content to curl up with ice cream and a trashy novel. It was a few minutes past 10pm when Isobel's phone buzzed.

I need you. Crashdown, roof.

Rosa. Nasedo rolled out of bed and threw on some clothes, slinking out the window and into the night. He rushed to the Crashdown, climbing the fire escape to get to the roof. No one was there. Perching under the sign, Nasedo gazed up to the sky and waited. Soon, he sense the familiar presence he'd come to treasure. Rosa hopped up to sit next to him,  letting out a long, defeated sigh.

"I'm so glad you're here. I had such a crap day."

Nasedo smiled as Rosa twined her fingers with his. "Me, too. But, hey, it's over now." He lifted his hand, bringing Rosa's with it, and pointed to a collection of stars. "Look. I found my favorite constellation. It's a man and a serpent. Maybe the man's killing the serpent, maybe the serpent's killing the man. You can't tell where the man ends and the snake begins."

"What's it called?"

"Ophiuchus."

Resting her head on Nasedo's shoulder, she let out a soft hum. "I love it. Where's Pisces?"

"There." He pointed to the constellation. "Is it your sign?"

"Mhm. It looks like an arrow."

"I'm sorry I missed your birthday this year. We'll have to do something special next year," Nasedo said, before realizing what that implied. "I  mean, if..."

"Izzie?"

"Yeah?"

Grinning, Rosa leaned in and kissed Nasedo on the cheek. "Thank you."

Blinking, he touched the spot where her lips had been. Nasedo opened his mouth to say something, anything, but suddenly they were kissing for real. Rosa had grabbed the front of Isobel's jacket and tugged them together; Nasedo closed his eyes, kissing her back. Her lips were warm, gentle, and she smelled of patchouli. Her hair was soft under his touch, and she smiled against his mouth as he trailed his fingers through it. Oh, it felt perfect. It felt right. But then she was pulling back, murmuring something that Nasedo barely heard.

"We should go before my dad comes looking for me."

Nasedo stroked her cheek. He didn't want to go, he never wanted to go, but it was true enough. Isobel would be furious if they got discovered. "Will you be alright?"

"I will now." Rosa's cheek were flushed as she stood and gave Nasedo's hand a light squeeze. She ducked her head, eyes bright. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Rosa."

Heading down the fire escape, Nasedo was halfway down when Rosa popped her head over the side of the building. "Hey! Movie night tomorrow. Your choice."

"Last House On The Left?" Nasedo suggested. Rosa loved horror movies. "Text me what time your shift ends."

"It's a date."

By the time Nasedo got home and got back into bed, his heart felt light as a feather and filled with warmth. Maybe love could feel like fireworks for him, after all. Isobel was back in the morning, muttering to herself about not getting the first kiss. It was good-natured, of course. Everything was... fine. It seemed like, just maybe, life was looking up and everything would work itself out in the end. All that was left was one tiny little thing.

Telling Rosa.

"I don't feel comfortable kissing someone who doesn't know who she's kissing," Nasedo said as they got ready to head to the Crashdown. 6pm, time to pick up Rosa. "It's not right."

So, the plan was to go to the movie, get some dinner after, and then take Rosa to the roof and tell her there. It wasn't totally private, but it was quiet and would give both parties an easy way to escape if necessary. Hopefully, it wouldn't be. They had both waited so long to  tell someone, they were all but bouncing in anticipation by the time they got to the Crashdown. They could do it. They would do it. It would  be okay. Except...

... Max. Max, who was supposed to be off with friends, was right there.

Isobel turned to run back out before Max could see, but it was too late. He shouted to her, waving her over. Nasedo got shoved out of front, the opposite of their usual way of handling tings. Was it because Isobel knew how much Nasedo disliked Max? Most likely, but damn it he at least needed to see and hear what was going on. By the time he  managed to crawl his way back in, it was just in time to hear Isobel pretend to not know Rosa, and rush out of the cafe towards Max's car.

"What did you do?" Nasedo hissed. "Isobel!"

"I panicked! She brought up our date right in front of Max, and I... Oh, god. What did I do? How do I fix this?"

"Go back in there and apologize!"

But Max was already coming out of the cafe, and Isobel had to fake wanting to go home. Once they were there, she tried to text Rosa. No reply. Rosa wasn't at any of her usual places the next day, and she wasn't at school on Monday. Isobel curled up on their bed and cried; Nasedo could feel their heart breaking, but he knew it was probably nothing compared to what Rosa was feeling. Isobel wrote a longer email, explaining that she panicked because she wasn't out to Max yet, and was worried that it would get back to Kyle-- Liz's boyfriend and the school's biggest homophobe. She was sorry, terribly sorry, and would do anything to make it up to Rosa.

A whole week went by, with no word. Prom loomed. Isobel managed to mind-bend her way back into the principal's good  graces, and ended up going to the dance with Max and Michael. Isobel and Nasedo figured they could have some fun and try to numb the sadness for a little, but then Max opened his mouth about leaving Roswell, and Isobel fell apart. She stormed away, finding a dark corner to huddle into; Nasedo eased his way into control, just as Michael approached.

"You okay?" he asked, offering a cup of punch.

Nasedo turned his head away from it. "I'll be fine. I need a moment."

For a long moment, Michael said nothing. His eyes met theirs, and there was some emotion in Michael’s expression that Nasedo hadn't quite noticed before. Something he couldn't identify. Whatever it was, Michael just shrugged. "Look, I don't know if this is your scene right now or not. If you want to go, I'll cover for you."

Nodding, Nasedo headed for the second exit, the one away from Max. He'd have to thank Michael later. For now, he knew what he wanted to do. What he needed to do, and Isobel had been too nervous to try. He headed towards the Crashdown. It looked closed, but the door was still open. At first, he didn’t see Rosa, but then she came out from the back with a knapsack in hand. When she saw him, she froze.

“Izzie...” Rosa trailed off and narrowed her eyes. “We’re closed.”

Nasedo took a step closer. “I came to apologize in person. I know I screwed up, Rosa. Please, can we talk?”

“What’s there to talk about? I don’t want to be your dirty little secret, Izzie. I thought I’d be okay with it, with us keeping things hidden,  but... But it really hurt. I don’t want to be something you’re ashamed  of. We both deserve better than that.”

“I’m not ashamed of you. You are amazing, and I want nothing more than to be who I am with you all of the time. I love you.”

“You... Izzie, you can’t just say that if you don’t mean it.”

“I mean it.”

Silence fell over them both as Rosa stared up at him, eyes wide. Finally, she managed to sputter out a reply. “I was going to leave town for a while. There’s this guy, he says he could help me stay clean. It’s been really hard, and I just... I just need someone to be here for me.”

Nasedo felt his stomach churn. “A guy?”

“Not that kind of guy. His name is Valenti. He’s kind of a father figure to me, you know? I thought if you didn’t want me here...”

“I do want you here. I want you to be with me.”

“I want to be with you, too, but I can’t hide forever. It’s not me.”

“So run away with me instead.” Nasedo blurted out the thought before he could think. “It’s less than a month until I graduate. If you can hang on until then, we can leave here. Start a new life somewhere else, somewhere better. You and me.”

Rosa slowly set down her knapsack. “Really? Are you sure?

“I am.”

“What about Max? Michael?”

“They’re leaving after graduation, anyways. Even if they weren’t, we... I need to make my own path. I want you by my side on that path.”

“Well.” Rosa shook her head, sitting down on one of the bar stools. “When you make an apology, you really make an apology. Oh Izzie, what if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then we’ll be friends and laugh about how silly we were, but it’ll be far away from here.”

“And we just have to keep this up until June?”

“Yes, and I’ll give you anything you need.”

“Like, love notes?”

Nasedo couldn’t help but smile, a little. “If you want them.” He reached out, taking Rosa’s hand in his. “I know it sucks to have to hide, and I’m  sorry I hurt you. Let me make it up to you. If you’re still mad at me by graduation, you can always go see this Valenti guy. Right?”

Rosa sighed and gave a playful roll of her eyes. “I suppose I can try to forgive you for acting like a bitch. Kyle is a homophobic ass... But how are you gonna make it up to me? Besides heartfelt letters of affection?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Ignoring your temporary lapse in human decency, yes, I trust you.”

“In that case...” Nasedo took a deep breath. Now or never. “I have a secret I want to share with you. Something I’ve never told anyone.”

“What kind of secret?”

“I think it’s better if I show you.”

[tmarie82]

A Necessary Arrangement (Part Eight)

A Desire and Decorum AU

Pairing: Ernest Sinclaire x MC (Ella Mills)

Book: Desire and Decorum (AU= Alternate Universe)

Word Count: ~3,050

Rating:  PG-13

Author’s Note:  It’s time!  This is the final chapter in this little AU series!  Thank you to everyone who has kept up with Ernest and Ella’s journey together.  I hope you enjoy the conclusion!

Please let me know if you would like to be added to my tag list.  You can find all of my fics in my Masterlist on my homepage.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You look so serious, Mr. Sinclaire.”  Ella smirked playfully over her cards, observing as her husband’s eyes flitted over his own.  His brows furrowed and his lips were pursed as he studied his hand for his next move, creating what Ella deemed as the most adorable pensive expression.  Of course, these days she had come to find that most of his facial expressions possessed at least some level of adorableness in her eyes.

Ernest’s lips tugged at one corner, although he never allowed his gaze to leave his cards.  “My next play may be the difference between victory or defeat.  You have become remarkably talented at this game recently, my lady.”  

Ella chuckled softly, a proud smile spread across her face.  “This is true, husband … but only because we have been playing so frequently.”  She could not decide which aspect made her prouder … the fact that she had become quite the skilled card player or that her skill had been acquired over the countless hours she had spent alone with her husband.

As odd as it would seem to an outsider, courting her own husband had been the most enjoyable (and daresay, romantic) experience of her life thus far.  Now that their mutual feelings had been established, the pair felt a new sense of comfort and affection during their frequent interactions.  Not to mention, Ella had become bolder and more generous with her affections as time had progressed.

Days had turned to weeks, the couple finding that time really does go by so much quicker when you are with someone you … care deeply about.  As the weather turned colder, the two had found their trips outside becoming less frequent, providing ample time to spend together in the warmth of their own home.  Ernest had taught Ella his few parlor tricks, more specifically his favorite card games, a move that had backfired as his wife became increasingly capable of beating him at his own games.  Many a lazy day were spent curled up by the fire reading together, Ella’s head resting upon Ernest’s lap or upon his firm shoulder.  The duo would sup together, often retiring to their parlor afterwards with a glass of brandy each to converse into the late hours.  It was these late nights that Ella loved most, the uninhibited dialogues with her husband as they discussed anything and everything.  

Today Ella was making her best attempt to distract Ernest, playing his favorite game and flirting with him to keep his mind of the impending afternoon.  Over the course of the weeks, the pair had met with Ernest’s lawyer twice to strategize their next play in the dispute over Ledford Park and discuss the arrangements for Ella’s stepmother and brother.  Little progress had been made thus far, however the news of Felicity giving birth to a healthy baby boy last week had cast a dark shadow over the situation.  Despite her reassurances, Ella could see the worry in Ernest’s downcast eyes every time the case was mentioned.  Yesterday a letter had arrived from their lawyer stating that there was new evidence on the matter and inviting them to visit the law office this afternoon, and Ella knew immediately it would be her job over the next day to keep Ernest’s mind occupied with more pleasant matters.  

After what seemed like an eternity, Ernest finally glanced up from his cards with one eyebrow arched speculatively and placed a single card down for his next play.  He smirked, a confident gleam in his eyes as he stared her down defiantly.  “Your turn.”

Casting her gaze to her cards, Ella’s eyes narrowed and she bit her lip as she ran over her options in her mind.  Ernest watched her intently, an amused smile on his lips as he admired her competitive focus.  Finally she gave a loud sigh, shrugging her shoulders before timidly retrieving one card and setting it atop the stack.  “Well, I am sorry, husband …” she flicked her eyes upwards to meet his, a wicked smile forming on her lips, “but I seem to have won again.”

Ernest tossed his cards down with a scoff and rubbed his hand over his forehead in frustration.  A few seconds later Ella heard the rumble of a laugh, noticing his chest vibrating at the noise and his lips turn up in a grin.  When he finally dropped his hand to his lap and slumped back in his chair defeatedly, he raised his gaze to hers again, his eyes dancing playfully as he spoke.  “I have officially decided that I shall never teach anything again, for it is turning out to be quite destructive to my ego.”  He said with a low chuckle.

Ella laughed, leaning forward to stack the cards back neatly.  As she tied the deck in a tidy ribbon, she glanced up to find him watching her thoughtfully.  She arched a brow, giving him a spirited look.  “Alas husband, you are mistaken … for you have already promised to teach me skittles once we return to the country in the spring.”  Her remark elicited a a cheeky grin from Ernest, who shook his head amusedly.  “But do not fret, dear husband … for this time I promise I shall go easy on you.”  She gave him a sly wink, and Ernest could not fight the bout of laughter that spilled from his mouth.

~~~

The couple was escorted into the office of Mr. Simon Williams by his assistant and asked to make themselves comfortable as they waited for the lawyer.  They both nestled into the inviting leather wingback chairs, but Ernest could not seem to settle himself as he continued to wring his hands together fretfully as he leaned forward over his knees.  Ella had said little of the meeting on their way over in the carriage, still attempting to distract him and his worrisome mind, but now that they were here she knew there was little she could say to alleviate his concerns.  All she could do was support him, which she did by grasping one of his hands in her own and bring it to her lips for a comforting kiss.  Ernest seemed to come back to reality for a moment at her action, giving her a thankful smile and releasing a short gust of breath before settling back into the chair.

Luckily the pair did not have to wait long as Mr. Williams came bustling in within just a few minutes, a portfolio of papers pressed tightly with one arm against his rotund belly.  He grumbled a curt greeting to Ernest and his young wife with a nod as he settled into his chair behind the desk.  Ella held Ernest’s hand tighter, although it did not go unnoticed that his free hand was gripping the arm of his chair so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.

Mr. Williams finally glanced up, leaning forward over his desk and clasping his hands together before speaking.  “Well, Mr. and Mrs. Sinclaire … thank you so much for braving this horrid weather today to come meet with me.  I believe that news of this magnitude is best to deliver in person.”  Ella felt Ernest’s hold of her hand tighten slightly, and gave him a reassuring squeeze in return.  “I received correspondence two days ago from Duke Richards’s lawyer … including evidence that Ledford Park has indeed been left to both your grandfather and his sister back in 1781.  There was also records from a similar case of familial inheritance from eight years ago that documents a division of assets upon the court ruling.”  Ernest retrieved his hand from Ella’s and dropped his head, holding his head in both hands and running his fingers through his hair in dismay.

Mr. Williams paused upon noticing Ernest’s reaction, a look of understanding behind his aging gaze.  “I cannot imagine how disappointing this news is to hear, Ernest … but I think if you’ll hear the rest of what I have to say your mood will be greatly improved.”

Ernest’s face lifted swiftly with a quiet gasp, his hopeful stare meeting the lawyer’s earnestly.  Ella slid her hand to grip his shoulder as they both waited impatiently for the older gentleman to continue.

“Now, these case records were very disheartening to say the least, and upon reviewing them I had little hope for your dispute.”  Mr. Williams cocked his brow with a sly smirk at them, then proceeded to dig through the stack of papers before him.  Finally he extracted a single document, a handwritten letter, and handed it over to the couple.  “This arrived later on that same day from your cousin, Felicity.”

Ernest gaze twisted in a puzzled expression as he tentatively grasped the letter, holding it between him and Ella so that they could read together.  His eyes flitted over Felicity’s words as he read in silence, Ella reciting the words aloud along with him.  

“To my cousin Ernest Sinclaire and his wife Ella,

As I am certain that you will both begin reading this letter with doubts of my intentions, I have chosen to enlist the support of your lawyer in this matter to ensure that there is no chance for any dispute in the future.  

I have felt great shame and embarrassment of my behavior since the evening of your dinner party last month, in addition to my complacency in my husband’s obsession over my claim to Ledford Park.  I offer my sincerest apologies for the hurtful words I spoke of you.  I have no excuse for my behavior except perhaps that I was jealous to witness the happiness of your marriage firsthand.  Although I have tried to make the best of my union with Tristan, I have come to learn that he is only driven by his power and greed and has no care for the well-being of myself or our son outside of how we may benefit him.

In regards to my son, little Frederick immediately captured my heart the moment he arrived in this world.  I want to be my best self for him, to show him how to be an honorable man as he grows.  It is this desire that has brought me to the decision to forfeit my claim to Ledford Park.  I have no emotional ties to the estate and no need for the additional wealth as my husband would desire.  Ledford Park belongs in the hands of you two, who will cherish it and care for it to pass along to your own children.

I hope you can forgive me for my despicable behavior and understand why I did not attempt to make this proclamation in person.  It is my greatest wish that we shall reunite as a family as our grandparents were and that my son shall grow up knowing you in his life.

Your devoted cousin,

Lady Felicity Richards”

Ernest set the letter down on his lap and sank back in his chair, his mouth ajar in surprise despite his inability to speak.  “Ernest?”  Ella asked softly, placing her hand over his.  “Are you not happy with this most wonderful news?”

“I- I- “ he stuttered, his mind still racing at the contents of correspondence.  “I … am astonished, to be honest.”  He lifted his hand, pinching his chin between his index finger and thumb with a blank expression.  Suddenly he released a soft guffaw, a satisfied smirk spread across his mouth.  “I just can’t believe it to be true.” He lifted his gaze to meet Ella’s beside him, relishing in the glow of her wide smile, reaching to grasp her hand and bringing it to kiss her palm.  Ella beamed as she observed the lightheartedness behind his stare, the weight and the worry of their predicament … suddenly gone.

“Well, I see you two have much to be thankful for this holiday season!  I could not have asked for a better turn out on the matter.” Mr. Williams clapped his hands together with a self-satisfied air.  As he glanced between the two, his brow furrowed as he remembered something and began digging through his papers again.  “Ah, but while I have you here … Mrs. Sinclaire, have you given any more thought to the matter of Countess Henrietta’s future?”

Ella’s smile dropped upon mention of her stepmother, her mind immediately drawn back to the reality of her own unfinished business.  “Umm, I …” She stammered a bit, then cleared her throat and sat tall in her chair to face the lawyer.  “I have decided that she may stay at Edgewater.  With conditions, of course.”  Mr. Williams nodded, an almost proud look in his eyes as he started scribbling notes.  “She will have a modest allowance, and she must continue to run the household when I am away.  But for the most part, Mr. Sinclaire and I shall divide our time between the London house and Ledford Park, so she will retain her independence at Edgewater.”

Mr. Williams finished his scripting, lifting his head to glance between the pair before him.  “This seems very generous, Lady Sinclaire. I shall deliver your decision-“

“Actually, I shall deliver it myself …” Ella interrupted.  “It is my estate, and it is my decision.  I will visit Henrietta once the weather is warm enough and tell her myself.” She sat upright, her stare firm, although she did notice the twinge of a pleased smile upon Ernest’s lips from the corner of her eye.

Simon Williams just nodded, a faint smile upon his face.  “Very well.  I think that is a reasonable request.”  He looked to his desk and began stacking the papers together.  “Now, unless you have any other business, I believe you two have some celebrating to do.”  He glanced over to Ernest with a gleam in his eye.

Ernest stood up and leaned forward to shake the man’s hand.  “Thank you so much, Mr. Williams … I do believe we do.”

~~~

After dinner that evening, the couple retired to the parlor with two glasses of brandy as was customary.  Ella sipped the fiery liquid, already feeling a bit flushed after the glass of celebratory wine from dinner.  She watched as Ernest paced around the room, as if his body and his mind could not still themselves after the excitement of the day.  

“Ernest, will you not come sit down already?  You are making me nervous with all that pacing.”  She gave him a playful smirk when he met her eye, and he immediately complied to come sit beside her on the settee.

“I’m sorry, Ella, I just … just can’t believe it is true.”  He shook his head as if trying to awaken himself from a dream, but realizing he was already awake he cast his stare upon her.  “Are you happy, my dear?”

“I am most decidedly elated, Mr. Sinclaire.”  She raised her hand to stroke her thumb across his cheek, her eyes darkening with affection in the dim light.  “To think of how far we’ve come in just the four months since our wedding … it is astonishing.”  

Ernest’s face turned stern, a hint of fear dancing behind his sapphire eyes.  “Yes, yes I suppose we have.  First the matter of Ledford Park, and then the situation for your inheritance of Edgewater …” his voice trailed off, unsure and unsettled.

Ella grasped his face in her hands, cupping both cheeks in her palms as she pulled him to press his lips against her own.  It was not a timid kiss like she usually initiated, with the shyness of a girl being courted by her beau.  This was a fierce kiss, the hard and unrelenting kiss of a wife giving herself completely to her husband.  She finally pulled away, savoring the breathy gasps escaping Ernest’s lips. “I did not mean that our inheritances are finally in order, Ernest… although that is a relief.  I meant us.”  She paused, her eyes peering into his with such emotion that she feared she may burst. “I meant we have come a long way.  And now, despite my initial wishes to despise you, I find myself hopelessly in love with you, Husband.”

Ernest chuckled, his gaze filled with joy and amazement as he studied her features up close.  “That is the best news I have heard all day, my Ella.  For despite my best attempts to shut you out, it appears that I too have fallen completely in love with my wife.”

Ella’s eyes brimmed with tears that threatened to fall but would never have the chance as she pressed her lips to his again.  She gripped his sandy curls within her fingers, tugging him tightly against her as if she would never let him go.  Ernest’s hands trailed up the sides of her bodice as he pulled her against his chest, finally giving into his hunger to feel her body against his own.  

“Ernest-“ She murmured against his lips between raspy breaths, “Take me to bed, Ernest.”  

Ernest moaned at her request, a carnal hunger stirring within him that had so long been suppressed.  He pulled away breathless, pausing himself to ensure he was not imagining his innermost desires.  His eyes pierced into hers, seeking her permission.  “Ella, I do not wish to rush you-“

Ella grasped his face again, smashing her lips into his. “Ernest, enough talking.  Take me to bed.”  She ran her palms over his shoulders and down his back, urging him to give in.

Ernest separated from her kiss long enough to jump to his feet, yanking her by the hand to standing before lifting her into his arms.  He peered down into her begging gaze, begging to be his finally … and at last he felt a comforting fullness in his heart.  He bent down to place a gentle kiss to her lips, a genuinely happy smile upon his lips.  “Yes, Mrs. Sinclaire.” He whispered softly before carrying her up the stairs to their marriage bed.

END

~~~~~~~~~~

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[moonknight-ep5]

Sanders Sidecanons Story

11:36PM

Perfect.

Logan quietly awoke and rose from his bed. This was the day that he would perform his greatest experiment yet.

How long can one withstand the grips of anxiety?

He put his glasses on and began to walk, mindful to stop and look over to Patton every few steps to make sure that he was still sleeping. He always felt uncomfortable whenever he had to do an experiment late at night, knowing that he'd have to walk past Patton's sleeping form in their shared room.

As he approached the door, he already felt the clutches of the negative emotion strapping him to his room, as if it was telling him Don't leave, Logan. It's not safe.

Ignoring this feeling, he stepped out into the darkness of the hallway. It seemed so eerie in the middle of the night, but didn't everything? That's how it's supposed to be, right?

Logan shook his head. No. This is NOT the time for those emotions. Not now. The experiment didn't even start yet! He had everything planned perfectly! This is not how it was supposed to go. Not at all...

He walked towards Virgil's room, and, to avoid going inside, observed its surroundings. It was a big mahogany door, almost fit for a palace hallway. It had some scuffs, but it was in otherwise great condition. There was a black sign on the door which said If you're coming in, get out. in large white letters...

No! He had to stop getting distracted! He took a deep breath as he cracked open the door. As he stepped inside he noticed another sign on the other side of the door, white this time, which said If you're leaving, please stay... in small black letters.

This is when he began to worry. Thoughts ran in and out of his mind.

Is Virgil alright? Is he depressed? He has been shrinking away from the others lately. That's not a good sign. He should help. He HAS to help. Logic has helped in almost EVERY situation. It's his job, and his job only...

His eyes became baggy and covered in eyeshadow as he began to sit on the floor.

But what if he can't help? He really doesn't know how to deal with emotions. Is that why the fans, and even Thomas sometimes, hate him? Because he's emotionless? He can't fix that. He blew his first impression. Everyone hates him. It's proven...

Logan was reduced to a sobbing mess on the floor. He curled up into a corner and began rocking back and forth with his head in his knees. Now he removed his glasses, as they were getting foggy and difficult to see through.

The thoughts.

The lies.

The truth.

It was too much.

He could barely breathe, and he wanted to leave, but he couldn't because he was glued to the floor.

Glued to the floor.

By emotions.

The bane of his existence.

This continued on for a while, almost 10 minutes, before he heard shuffling from the other side of the room.

"Who's there?"

Logan backed away into the wall. Virgil couldn't see him like this. Not now. Not ever.

He walked closer. "Let me ask again. Who is in my room?"

Logan mumbled a reply, and Virgil gasped in response.

"L-Logan?"

Logan nodded his head slightly, but the pain of his fears, his anxieties, we're preventing him from moving any more.

"Why are you here?"

Logan attempted to wipe his tears. "N-No reason..."

"Well there better be a goddamn reason for you coming here. Because if there isn't, I'll be very disappointed in you, Logan."

Disappointed.

Virgil was disappointed in him.

Logan began to cry more, and as this was happening, Virgil sat beside him. "Now what's the real reason why you're here?"

He couldn't take it anymore. He had to say something. So he hiccuped a reply. "I was cur-curious... On h-how you w-worked..."

"How I worked? If you needed information, you could've just asked."

Well damn I fucked up...

Logan nodded as he tried to sit up.

"I don't think you should move. Just breathe in and out. 4. 7. 8. And repeat, got it?"

Logan didn't reply, he just heeded his advice and placed his head on Virgil's shoulder.

After a few minutes, Virgil spoke again. "Do you feel better?"

"A-A little..."

Virgil assisted Logan in standing up, and they both walked out of his room together.

Logan looked over. "Virgil?"

"Yeah?"

Logan smiled softly. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He paused. "Really. Don't mention this to the others. I have a reputation to uphold."

Logan chuckled as he spoke again. "Okay."

That's where they both bid their farewells. They promised each other that they would never speak of that incident again, but they would always remember what happened, and the feelings that were lost and those that were gained.

💙

@sanderssidecanons

[jumpingjackets]

The General’s Attention (George Washington x Male!Reader)

Request:

Anonymous said: Yo, its the Wash X Male!reader anon XD Could you maybe of your comfortable write smut for Wash and reader? Like maybe Wash had thought Reader had died and when Reader returns Wash takes his time making love to him?

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: Aye, always up for washingdad! But pls be gentle with me, dis my first smut (kinda)

TW: smut, badly written cannon-era, probs historically innacurate (i apologize to every American ever)

George Washington was a mess. The man who is known for his composure and elegance in the face of hardship was quickly crumbling to pieces at the prospect of your death. The war was over, but you hadn’t yet reported back to him and that could only mean terrible things.

He gave himself to his work to distract himself, he didn’t eat, barely slept, the fire that you loved so much draining slowly from his eyes. Anyone who didn’t know any better would say that the General was just a dedicated man and that there was nothing wrong, but others knew. The ones closest to him were worrying about the General’s health, terrified of what he was doing to himself.

Alexander and Gilbert were sat under the shade of a tree, speaking in hushed voices and barely audible whispers. They were discussing on how they could help their General. They were so focused, they didn’t notice the ship that had just set with hundreds of soldiers flooding the shoreline.

You walked out to the shore along with them. You had been hurt badly, so another man was kind enough to help you walk up to steady ground. You saw the two gentlemen hunched over each other and smiled to yourself. The memory of your George crept into your thoughts, and you were overwhelmed with the feeling of seeing him again. You didn’t know how he would manage your disappearance. You prayed to God he wasn’t in too much pain.

You walked over to the two men, placing a strong hand on Gilbert’s shoulder, mostly to get his attention but also to keep you balance. Gilbert turned back, startled, but his smile shone bright like a child’s once they realized who you were. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, speaking in rapid and excited French as Alexander hugged you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist gently. He must’ve seen the bandages.

“Mon ami, we grew more worried each passing day that your arrival would not come.” Gilbert said, pulling back slowly to look at your expression.

“I knew you were going to return.” Alex mumbled behind you. You had to laugh.

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving my favorite Frenchman and Tomcat alone.” You said, raising your hand to Alexander’s hair to brush through it. It earned you a fond laugh from both of them.

“Y/N, are you badly hurt?” Gilbert said once he had pulled away from you.

“A little, but not to worry. I’ll live.” You said with a reassuring smile. Alexander had pulled away and was now standing next to the tall, curly haired man.

“Y/N, hey, have you been to see the General?” Alexander said, voice now heavy with worry.

“N-no. Is everything alright? He survived, right?” Your mind raced with the most terrible thoughts, and you had broken down with nerves had not Alexander shaken you slightly.

“He’s alive, but barely. I suspect your silence and the uncertainty of your arrival is beginning to take a toll on him. You need to see him this instant.” Alexander said, and you couldn’t agree more.

They both led you to Washington’s tent. It was easy to pick out, certainly being the biggest out of the whole camp. Your heart was rapidly increasing as you neared it. Gilbert opened the flaps without hesitation and pushed you inside. You stumbled, struggling to stay in your feet.

Washington didn’t notice, having his back to the entrance while speaking to three other men. The men eyed you strangely, but said nothing to the General. George waved them off and walked to the side of his desk, not once turning. The other soldiers left quietly. You were about to speak, until you heard the sound that ran through you like a bullet.

George Washington, the powerful and astute George Washington, let out a heartbreaking sob. You couldn’t move, you were sure you weren’t breathing, the entire world just stopped.

“Oh, Good God, get it together.” He said to himself, leaning into his desk.

“G-George…” Your voice wavered and you immediately cursed yourself for being so weak.

You worried George’s head would fall out with how quick he turned. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly opened, his posture was as straight as a wall. You could tell his mind was searching for the right words to say as he walked over to you. His hand cupped your cheeks, hand trembling. You placed your hand over his, trying your best to form a sentence in your mind as well. It wasn’t working. All you could think about was George’s hand on your face, how much you craved such a simple gesture like that.

“I thought you were dead.” George said simply. He pulled you into his chest and enveloped you in a hug. The wound in your side hurt like actual hell and you could feel it starting to bleed, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care because you were finally in George’s arms. His hand found its way to your hair and he entangled his fingers through it. You buried yourself deeper into his chest, craving more of him.

“I would never leave you in such a brutal way, George. Without word, without certainty, without letting you know how much I love you.” You babbled on, unable to think straight. “I would never leave you.”

You stayed like that for maybe a few minutes, but an eternity to the both of you. When George pulled back, you hadn’t noticed you started crying. He wiped the remaining tears and looked down at your bloodstained clothes.

“Y/N, you’re hurt.” He said. He slid a hand to your lower back, carefully, to lead you to a cot in the corner of the tent. “Lay down.” He commanded, and you did so without protest. He went out for a moment, and returned with another person. They must be a medic, they brought a huge bag with them. The young man sat on his knees at the side of the cot, removing your coat to reveal your bandaged torso. He began to cut through the bandages a medic in the boat had wrapped you in. You winced in once he lifted them to reveal a terrible gash just below your ribs.

The medic was gentle and obviously experienced, he had cleaned the wound and rebandaged you so quick you didn’t realize he’d done it. George thanked him, and he left without another word.

George sat next to you, holding your hand and taking it to his lips. He kissed the back of your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. “Do you want a more comfortable place to lay, my love?” George asked, and you nodded frantically.

He helped you on your feet and, like before, slid his hand to your lower back. He led you through the camp, saluting a few soldiers who called out to him. There was a huge building in the far end of camp to where you were walking. He didn’t waste a second in entering and walking up a set of stairs, opening the first door at the right.

You entered the room without question and took your coat off. Spotting the bed instantly, you tugged at George’s hand to join you. He chuckled and walked with you. He helped you lay down where you couldn’t hurt yourself. He walked around the bed and laid next to you. With a finger under your chin he made you look up at him. His eyes were filled with love as he scanned over your face.

You couldn’t hold it anymore and crashed your lips with his. He was taken off guard, but kissed you back with the same level of passion and need as you. Your hands roamed down to tug on his coat when you realized he had already removed it and was now left in half nudity, like yourself.

His hands found your breeches and, with minimal pain and movement, helped you get them off without once breaking away from you. He pulled away to take of his own, leaving you a panting, whimpering mess.

The moment they were off, he separated your legs as careful as possible and settled between them. With both hands at either side of your head, he leaned down to join your lips again. This time, slow and tender, like he was shy and nervous about kissing you.

His hand slowly ghosted over your torso down to your shaft, wrapping his massive hand around it. You gasped into his mouth, feeling yourself harden in his hand. He spread your legs slightly further, pulling back from your kiss.

Your body felt like it was on fire. Your cheeks were probably crimson, your chest felt like an open flame, and your length in George’s hand felt almost detached from your being. It had been so long since you were paid attention to in such a way and your body was making it painfully obvious.

You breathed in and let out a guttural moan as he began pumping his hand, alternating his speed. Every single one of your ribs was visible with every breath you took. George’s eyes felt like they were burning into your soul. You covered your face with your hands, embarrassed and self-conscious.

The General stopped his movement to remove your hands out of your face. “My love, there’s no need to hide.” His voice was like silk in your ears and it relieved some of the burning in your cheeks.

“I’m afraid the war has left me hideous and like a virgin, my general.” You said, giving him a nervous laugh while your hands went to thumb at your ribs, but George’s face turned sad.

“Hideous? Don’t be ridiculous, my love. You are beautiful,” he leaned in to kiss your jaw, “in every way possible.” he kissed your collarbone, “Don’t you dare even entertain the idea that war could begin to affect one of God’s most entrancing creations.” He said, placing a final, long kiss to your stomach.

You could feel the tears threatening to fall, but you weren’t going to let them. George was looking under the bed for oil. When he sat back up, you leaned on your elbow as best as you could and looked him in the eyes.

“I love you, George Washington.” You said, your chest felt heavy with all the emotions you felt as you said those words. George responded with another mind-numbing kiss. You could never get enough of this man’s lips.

He pulled back and uncapped the small bottle, coating his fingers generously. You laid back down, gasping slightly as you felt the tip of his fingers in your entrance. He was gentle at first, letting you relax into his finger before adding another one, then another. Your small gasps turned into small moans of pleasure when George created a rhythm with three of his fingers inside of you. You grabbed onto his shoulder, the other hand gripping the covers on the bed.

“George, please.” You moaned out, eyes closed and head falling back.

“Please what, my prince?”

“P-Please make love to me.” Your voice cracked in a low whine.

He gently took his fingers out, leaving you feeling momentarily empty, before lining himself with your entrance. You felt the tip right against it, a sob racketing through your body.

“George, please, I need you.” You whimpered, looking into his eyes. He slowly pushed himself into you, biting his lip and trying to control himself as to not thrust into you too harshly. Your head fell back, mouth opened slightly. You hadn’t received him in so long it felt like it truly was your first time.

He moved inside you until his hips met yours. Breathing in deeply, he looked down at you to make sure you were okay. Your eyes met his, and you couldn’t help but wrap your hand to the back of his neck and pull him down for a desperate kiss. He began to pull his hips back and into you again. You moaned into his lips without breaking too far away.

“More, please.” You said. Your mouth was so close to his, you could feel his hot breath in your lips. He obliged, quickening his pace.

Your moans became progressively louder with his thrusts. He was never to rough, never too overwhelming. His gentle thrusts almost threw you over the edge.

“My beautiful boy, so good for me. Always so good.” He whispered into your ear. “Always ready to take me. So good.” He rested his head on your shoulder as he continued to thrust into you, slow and gentle one second and quick and sloppy the next. You felt the familiar heat in your abdomen and gripped into the sheets tighter.

He felt your muscles tense and sensed you were close. He sat up again, grabbing your length and mercilessly pumping it. You leaned into your shoulder to look down at his hand around you. Your moans turned breathy and then quiet. You were so close, it was maddening.

“Spend yourself for me, my love.” As the words left his lips, you felt your body go completely numb and your vision go white. Your body spasmed as you let yourself cum, white strips covering your stomach and George’s hand. George continued to thrust into you throughout your orgasm, holding your body.

“By God…” He whispered before one last thrust, cumming inside of you with a low growl-like moan. You let yourself be used as you regained your breath, holding him when he collapsed over you.

He pulled out of you after a moment of recovery and laid back next to you. You were quick to rest your head on his chest, smiling involuntarily. You were finally home, and no war was taking you away from him.

[sad-af1121]

Unforgettable Part 2/?

Summary: You thought your life would be played out they way you thought. But due to a tragic event, you left everything, including your soulmate, Bucky Barnes. Pairing: Deadpool x Reader (platonic friendship), Bucky Barnes x Reader (eventually) Word Count:1858 Warnings: Language, angst

A/N: Hey :) Here’s part 2. The (*) is where it turns back to present time, meaning end of flashback. There will be numerous flashbacks in the series so that you guys will know the reader’s past and what has happened. Feedback is welcomed 💜

4 years ago, …

Family meant everything to you, but to understand and know the full extent of your powers, you left them in pursue to find answers to what you were and how you became. You couldn’t just sit around, doing nothing when there was a world of people who knew about this kind of stuff…only if you went to the right ones.

The Avengers always peaked your interest. You wanted to be a part of that world thinking you had a reason for your abilities, therefore, you should do something worthy and good. So, you went to S.H.I.E.L.D., explaining and showing what you could do. They were a taken back that a mutant was so eager to join a world of risk. They evaluated you, ran tests, and did all sorts of monitoring to see if you weren’t a threat to society or a threat to them. You were a type of person who wouldn’t hurt a fly but you weren’t afraid in kicking some ass. You believed you could solve many problems through logic not only fists, however, both concepts played perfectly well together.

After a year, you were given the opportunity to see the multimillionaire engineer, Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, the scientist for further analysis. They were both fascinated by your abilities and molecular structure. It was something they’ve never seen before. Tony invited you to stay at the tower so that he and Bruce could figure out your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing what would make you vulnerable was key to making you stronger.

You were ecstatic and downright nervous at the same time as your vehicle approached the infamous tower. You didn’t know how everyone would act and feel about you being there. You believed Wanda, aka The Scarlet Witch, would understand you. You two basically had the same powers but obviously different in what they do. You couldn’t wait to meet her and meet the other members of the Avengers team.

They would be your new family.

The black SUV stops abruptly, snapping you out of your thoughts. You look out your window, and your jaw instantly drops. Not only were you amazed by how tall and grandiose the tower was, but you felt a wave of panic and anxiousness hit you like a train. As you stepped out of the car, walking forward, the agents from S.H.I.E.L.D. escorted you through the building, hauling your luggage with you. You didn’t have much, just a suite case and duffle bag. You reach the elevators, waiting for the silver doors to open when you spot Tony Stark walking down the hall, with the biggest grin played across his face. He opens his arms and cages you in a hug.

“Oh god… Hi, Tony.” You awkwardly look around, weirded out by his actions. You pat his back and huff out a laugh.

“How’s it goin’ kiddo?” He pulls away and stuffs his hands in his pockets.

“Not so bad. Just –“

“Nervous?”

You chuckle apprehensively, nodding. Tony looks down at you, understanding what you were going through and what you were feeling.

This was a new beginning.

“It’s alright, Y/n. They’re not so bad.” He winks at you, causing you to huff out a laugh.

“I just don’t want them to think I’m a joke, ya know? I’m serious about this.”

He nods and he looks at the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, motioning his hand in a ‘go’ manner.

You start gnawing on your bottom lip. It was something you always did when you felt uneasy. You were even overwhelmed by the emotions radiating from Tony… well, from everyone in the tower. You felt on particular one of hate, fear, and regret. They felt so torn with themselves and broken. You wanted to see who was feeling that way and comfort them, but the sound of the elevator doors opening with a ‘ding’ made you jump, pulling you away from your thoughts.

“Care to join me, kid?”

*

“Please Y/n, we need you. You’re the only person who Hydra hasn’t seen in years. They probably think you’re dead from what happened last time.” He pauses, hesitant to speak again. “Look, we’re obviously desperate -”

“What’s in it for me? I left for a reason, Steve. I’m not coming back.”

You could practically hear Steve hang his head in defeat. There was a moment of silence before he spoke.

“Don’t you care? We were a family once Y/n… we wouldn’t have come to you, begging if this wasn’t serious. Please.”

Hearing the mighty Captain America beg did make your heart heavy, but you pushed down that feeling and contemplated if you should go. You were curious as to who they were facing, obviously Hydra, but you knew there was more to it. Maybe going wasn’t a bad idea. You were stronger than the Y/n they knew before.

Even deadlier.

“Fine. But I’ll help under one condition.”

“And what would that be?” He lets out an exasperated sigh.

“After I help, I leave. Forever. Never contact me again, no matter how desperate you guys get. I don’t want anything to do with you guys.”

You lean against your window frame and look out onto the city, the cold air breezing through calming your nerves. You shut your eyes and focus on the sounds surrounding the night. It helped stable you when you felt you were losing it.

Your emotional switch was yearning to turn back on. But you couldn’t.

Your eyes slowly open when you hear Steve clear his throat.

“You mean us or just Buck?”

He says bluntly and you snapped open your eyes wide, anger flourishing you.

“I wouldn’t wanna go there, Steve. I have too much respect to fire back, so don’t.”

He runs a hand down his face and sits, trying to calm himself down.

“I’m sorry. I… we just care about you Y/n. You left without explanation. We’re just trying to understand things, for our mind’s sake.”

You inhale deeply, before straightening your posture.

“How soon do you need me?”

“As soon as possible. I would prefer you come by tomorrow if you could, depending on where you are, and since I had this call traced, you’re in the city.”

You curse under your breath and shake your head at your own stupidity. Should have used a burner phone.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll be there tomorrow, Cap. Don’t call this number again. It’ll most likely be in the bottom of the ocean. I’ll be there by the evening…”

You turn and see Wayne leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. His lips are slightly curled and you can feel the sadness and anxiousness emitting from him.

“I gotta go, Steve. See you tomorrow.” Before he could say bye, you hanged up the phone and crushed the cell in your hands, throwing the useless thing into the trash can. You inhale sharply and stuff your hands in the back of your pocket, raising your brow at Wade as he rounds your bed and sits on the edge.

“For how long?” He says without meeting your eyes. You watch as he plays with his fingers. He picked that up from you.

“Until they catch whoever they need help capturing with. They know where you live now, Wayne. You should go someplace else. This dump isn’t much either.”

He snorts and nods. Your smile fades away as he stares on the ground.

“Hey, where’s my ass of a friend who always compliments my firm butt huh?”

He looks at you and smiles.

“Oh, he’s right here, still thinking about bangin ya.”

Both of you laugh and you playfully shove him.

“But right now, he’s trying to figure out what his best friend is doing. Do you think it’s smart to go back? All those memories flourishing back, not to mention a number of emotions that you’re going to be absorbing there? It’ll feed your powers Y/n. You and I both know what happens if it gets out of hands.”

“So let it. I’m like a star, Wayne. Eventually, we die out after using all our energy.”

You hang your head, staring at the chipped wooden floor from the time you and Wade decided to throw your knives up on the ceiling. You two were drunk and thought it was hilarious chucking sharp objects in the air. Wayne had told you an awful joke which led you to laugh so hard that a wave of your power surged throughout the room, causing the knives to fall, piercing the hardwood floor. Both of you stopped laughing, staring at it before looking at each other and carefully taking off the remaining knives from the ceiling. Luckily, no one was hurt, but Wade ended up stabbing himself when he tossed one blade, trying to swiftly catch it with one hand but missed.

Your lips curl into a faint smile, remembering the time. Wayne knew everything about you, in and out. No matter how annoying and obnoxious this man was, he had a good heart and cared. His silly exterior was just a mask to what he dealt with internally. He endured more pain and suffering than you did…well, that’s what you thought but according to him, it wasn’t. Different people suffer and go through pain in their own ways. There isn’t a factor of who experienced more of the worse when everyone will go through what they fear the most.

You happened to have several fears.

“I’m not gonna let that happen, not in a million years. We’re stuck with each other, don’t forget that Nova.” He shoves you playfully with his shoulder and you tilt your head, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Really, my alias name? I should call you avocado, it seems to suit you.”

“Oh, dear God. There you go again with the insults. I want a divorce. I’m taking my unicorn stuffy with me.” He shoots off the bed, does a flipping of the hair motion and walks out the room. You sit there, laughing before looking up when Wade re-enters the room.

“Can I keep some of your panties? They’re helpful for when I gotta…” He whistles and raises his brows, wiggling them. You grab a pillow, throwing it at his face. He stands there, unfazed. You get up and hug him, closing your eyes and letting an ounce of your emotions open, so you could show him some satisfaction that you’ll be okay. You gasp, as you turn your emotions on but quickly regret it when your eyes turn a bright blue and you stare at the reflection of yourself in the mirror.

Not again.

You quickly shut your eyes and push your emotions down, rapidly shutting off your emotions. You pull away from Wade and punch his arm, causing him to recoil and place his hand where you hit him.

“Jesus Christ, woman. I may be able to heal back perfectly, but I can still feel shit.”

He rubs his arm and walks out of the room, looking at you shocked. You walk back to the window and sit there, looking up in the sky.

If only he knew, he’s right.

Tags: @thatawkwardtinyperson , @buckybarnesismypreciousplum, @the-violent-peach, @amrita31199, @finallybreathee, @atari-writes, @am-ialive-yet, @that-winchester-hoe, @scarlettsoldier, @tittymuncher69, @elaacreditava, @angelicshinigami, @softwhispers, @wolfechildofslytherin, @cutescreenname

(if you want to be tagged, let me know :)

[cophine-mon-amour]

*I’m totally into what you guys have to say about this matter and would love to read your responses.

Delphine Cormier. Delphine is not only my favourite character of the show (with Siobhan a close second) but my favourite character all together. It’s not original, I know, but like everyone else I have my reasons. Some say our favourite character is someone who is close to reflecting us as a person, whether it be personality or appearance. For me that might be true, I may have personal reasons but here that doesn’t matter. What matters the most is Delphine.

Now, I bet you remember months ago when we were enraged by the way certain TV shows were treating us with cheap cliffhangers and unnecessary deaths. Maybe I was in denial but for me it was difficult not knowing for sure, even though I knew (hoped) that the creators of OB weren’t silly enough to end Delphine in that way. Although I still prepared myself for that outcome just to be more on the safe side. I know we need to consider Evelyne Brochu’s schedule but if it were me I would have been begging her to come back if the original plan was to kill the character. A sigh of relief, around a year later we were relieved that Delphine is in fact still alive.

Ever since season 3 aired I have been trying to figure this character out. I’ve thought about her a lot and have come up with many theories, some improbable and even absurd but either way her past is interesting. There’s always a possibility that the unthinkable could be true. The fact that we know very little about her is exciting and it allows us to come up with many ideas of our own. If or when we are given information on this lots of ideas will be made but like many things on OB it’s difficult to develop the correct theory, because simply put; you just never know with this show. Also the extent is subjective, but I think we can agree not much is shared when it comes to the history of many of the characters. 

(SPOILER) Of course, every season we learn more and we have been told that this season will include a tasty episode for all those Cosima Niehaus lovers. We love to know more, but will this be a case of ‘the more we know, the less we understand’ or will the truth we uncover finally put us at ease about Cosima? Either way I can’t wait for the fanfiction.

Back on track. If we don’t know the truth then we can at least consider the characters’ behaviour and decisions. Not entirely an assumption but one thing I’ve considered is the possibility that Delphine has lost a loved one. At an early age or later on in life, my favourite one is being fairly recent. Before I jump right to it I think it’s important we take a close look at the way she is in season 1 and 2 to season 3. Allow me to start off by saying Delphine’s turn of point was the beginning of season 3. Prior to that she made decisions that would come across as shady and as betraying Cosima, but these seem quite minor compared to season 3 – and no, I’m not just talking about the eye scene where she interrogates Rachel but her demeanour takes a turn. What I see, where some may see a cold-blooded stalker, is determination and braveness through the act of love.

Season one Delphine’s a puppet and is being pulled by the strings that belong to the DYAD institute and does her best when she’s thrown in the middle of work and love. We know she’s highly intelligent so it makes sense that she would take her work (her passion for science) seriously. We don’t know how long she had been working with the institute prior, though whether it was for a while or a short period of time perhaps she had no reason to question them. Which is why near the end she is surprised when she faces the thought of losing Cosima when what she wanted was to protect her – because she trusted the institute. To me, she remains innocent because she was unaware of the actual truth at that time.

Speaking of DYAD, it’s only fair to include Leekie and that it seems she may have had a sexual relationship with him. Though this is too innocent to judge her for, since it was before anything more than a friendship developed between her and Cosima, it’s worth considering why she had this relationship with him. It could have been a way of using him to gain promotions during her career with DYAD or let’s admit it – just an arranged decisions between them either for some fun or because there was attraction there. A more interesting one is that there could have been some information he or the institute was holding against Delphine like the situation with Paul.

Season two I feel like there’s not much to say other than she’s finding her feet and feels content. There’s opinions that clash that causes arguments but all seems well as Delphine’s choices are risks done out of good reasons for both Cosima and her sisters.

The scene when they confess their love for each other both seem sincere. I don’t need to tell you how this scene went but it’s worth mentioning the point when Cosima tells her ‘I have enough dirt on you to destroy your career’, to which at this Delphine laughs. Recently when I re-watched this I found it rather odd and pondered for a while on her response. I have a few solutions but my favourite one; there’s a slight pause, she realised how much her job doesn’t matter to her any more or how it wasn’t obvious enough for Cosima to know that. It could be nothing and that she found it simply funny and I’m reading too much into this, but little details matter me.

Season 3 was the most difficult season for me to watch. I have re-watched OB countless times but this one I have never returned to fully. If you are like me then the reasons could be quite self explanatory when the fondness for Delphine is taken into account. If you’re somebody who knows how it feels to have loved someone who doesn’t love you back (or doesn’t show it), then maybe it’s fairly easy to put yourself in Delphine shoes and understand some of her actions. Of course, it’s a great season and I won’t let the whole Shay and Cosima (and of course cophine) situation cloud my judgement. As I previously said, I have my personal reasons towards my favourite character so maybe I’m just salty. It’s just a shame there had to be a relationship involved as I have lost a fair amount of respect for Cosima for her actions. To this day I still question her actions and whether she loves Delphine, but I won’t talk about that here because I think it will be better suited in another post (I’ve tried writing here but it seemed more relevant with Cosima rather than Delphine).

From what we have seen in previous seasons Delphine doesn’t interact with a huge range of people. It’s usually in a professional manner and work related but when it’s not, it’s with Cosima. This makes it easy to understand how lonely she must have been during the season. The worst part is having nobody to confide in, but when she tries it’s with Cosima and basically gets ignored. Ouch, I’m not surprised she turned to drink for comfort. On more of a serious note, Delphine’s now the one feeling hurt and betrayed by the woman she loves. Doing whatever it takes to keep the clones safe there’s no wonder how angry she must have felt to have her efforts be taken for granted. There’s proof that she would even die for them. It’s difficult to put these thoughts into words, so in the best way I’ll put it this way; I can imagine a conversation in season 5 between Cosima and a salty Delphine. “Why did you help us?” “Because I’m the only one stupid enough to fight for what’s right.”

One thing that is worth mentioning is that Delphine mentions being in boarding school. There’s speculation about whether the girl in her suicide attempt story is actually her rather than some girl. That being said, I think there’s definitely more to this story but unless it has a huge part to play about her I doubt we will know the whole story this season. My point is, things like this could have played a part that triggered her drive to be the way she was that season.

My theory (finally) *Firstly, I would like to note that I couldn’t begin to imagine what it feels like to lose a child and this is not intended towards anyone who has been affected from this. I hope nobody is offended by this post but if you feel you could be impacted by this next paragraph, skip the one.

There’s not much to be said here. Like I said, my favourite theory is that she has lost a loved one. More specifically, a child of her own who was sick for months. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is far from the truth, but I still consider it interesting as it could seem possible. To me it makes sense. Countless times we’ve seen that Delphine would do anything in her power to help Cosima even if it meant going against her word and behind her back. Season 3 suggests to me that she was hurting deeply to the point where her past was brought back, hence her devotion to saving Cosima as well as her love for the woman. It makes sense that as a doctor she would try everything she could to save her child and feel useless as a parent and doctor when all fails. She knows how it feels to lose somebody she loves, why would she want to go through it again with Cosima? My appreciation This post is pretty much all over the place and I have probably left out a few things I should have mentioned, but I’m glad you’ve stuck out to hear what I had to say.

Orphan Black Season 5. The last season of the (add mind blowing adjective) series that has brought like-minded people together, creating friendship and even more along the way for many of us. In some cases the show has helped our lives for the better in ways we can and cannot explain. For this reason I have trouble accepting this as our last season, including the knowledge that some day the fandom will die. Maybe not soon after, but sooner than what a lot of us hope for. The worst part – most likely it will die out slowly. I’m not one for happy endings but I’m a sucker for OB and I’m not ready for it to end because I’m emotionally invested. And if you’re like me, a fussy bugger, you’ll have trouble finding a TV show as good as this ever again that includes amazing acting from brilliant actors and the best fandom I’ve been apart of for many years.

Perhaps that’s the whole point – to move on and keep this as an experience. I feel the need to include this as I have never made a post this long before, and consider this my only time on expressing my gratitude for this show and the fandom. I don’t know where I’d be without you guys and I bet that’s how a good handful of us fans feel. I would also like to add, everything I mention in this post is totally my opinion only, I’m making this clear so I don’t come across as some self-assertive ****.

Comparing season 1 to season 4, I would say there’s a significant difference and I am yet to be disappointed as they improve after every season, this includes the directing, scripts and producing. The surprises they keep rewarding us with is great, though with a few exceptions.

Conclusion Overall, we’ve seen Delphine be selfless and risk dying for what’s right, but for our last season I hope we discover her doing everything in her power to live for what she loves. I know this for sure; Delphine Cormier is one of the Bad Ass Bitches I know on TV and deserves one massive thank you party hosted by the other characters.

:)

[nyskateboarding]

About a year ago now, I saw down for a drink and conversation to feel out this guy’s film he was working on and get a feel if it was legit or not. We had a long talk, and I came away hopeful but in a wait and see kind of status because I didn’t really understand it. Fast forward a year and I am happy to see all the progress Michael has made and pleased to be able to share this with you all. It was hard to nail down everything from that one conversation so I had Michael write out his answers and have posted his full responses below. His project called Humanity Stoked covers many topics but the general gist is about humanity helping humanity. We spend so much time absorbed in our day to day and see a lot of negativity out there wishing there was more that could be done…or waiting on someone else to step in. The film interviews people who make strides everyday to make the world a better place and how everyone can do so in their own lives. There’s a laundry list of names that share their stories and as with any project like this, a short summary doesn’t grasp its full spectre. Get comfortable and dive in to find out more in my interview with Michael…

Name: Michael Ian Cohen Age:  52 Hometown: Brooklyn, NY Current Location: Long Island Years skating: 44 Years

It’s about the love of humanity, the importance of living an open, loving life, giving back, and the issues that affect us all, from music and art, human rights, LGBTQ rights, women’s rights, the environment, science, activism and more.

What’s up Michael, for those who haven’t heard of it, can you briefly tell our readers what Humanity Stoked is all about? Humanity Stoked is an unprecedented feature length documentary featuring the biggest names in skateboarding, including Nyjah Huston, Bob Burnquist, Tony Hawk, Leticia Bufoni, Tony Alva, Christian Hosoi, Vanessa Torres, Brian Anderson, Chris Cole, P-Rod and many others. There’s also dozens of musicians, artists, activists, scientists and more, ALL of whom are also skaters.  What’s cool as hell is that it’s a skateboarding doc…and it’s NOT. It’s about the love of humanity, the importance of living an open, loving life, giving back, and the issues that affect us all, from music and art, human rights, LGBTQ rights, women’s rights, the environment, science, activism and more. These are the issues we dig into with everyone, and share their personal stories related to it all.  The end game is to make a film that’s totally unique, interesting as hell, and that inspires people to think more deeply about these issues. I’m not trying to tell people what to think about issues, as that would just make me part of the problem that’s dividing people. I’m trying to get to people to think more deeply and with an open mind, before jumping to conclusions and worse, voting for people that create legislation based on knee-jerk reactions, unjustified fears and twisted facts.  I also want to inspire people to live a life that’s more open, authentic, purposeful and to give back a bit more in the process. As we say at the WhatStopsYou.org Foundation,  to “Live more and give more!” It’s a beautiful mission as much as it’s a film. The fact is, we’re giving away all our distribution revenue and nobody on the crew, myself included as the producer and director gets paid. We’ve been fortunate to have some amazing people in the film and companies supporting us, including, Steve Van Doren and VANS, Wing Lam and Wahoo’s, Jet Blue, Loaded Boards and many others as well.

Tony Hawk Squawking

Why did you decide to do this? What’s your motivation? That’s a damn good question Chris. I had not been living a particularly authentic life and was ignoring the things that were critical to living a happy life, including being able to express myself creatively and doing my part to make this world a better place. It was clear to me how much activism and  volunteerism is needed right now and I wanted to make a positive difference in people’s lives. Around 2015, I began sliding into a devastating depression. I ended up in a very dark place for nearly 2 years. Often, I would just break down in tears. As I emerged from it, it became clear I had to make some fundamental changes in the way I was living.  The fact is, I was lucky enough to have some great influences in my life, especially my Grandfather, Ralph Bofshever, a FDNY member that was awarded a gold medal of valor from the Mayor of NYC in 1948. Actually, they named a day after him in Brooklyn! From the way he lived his life, I learned the importance of people helping and supporting one another in any way one can. My grandfather was never wealthy, but he volunteered his time to various causes he believed in his entire life. Wanting to pay that forward, I ended up creating a non-profit, the WhatStopsYou.org Foundation to help ensure other children had a positive inspiration in their life too. I also knew an epic documentary could have an even greater reach to inspire people to help make this world a better place if it was done right and featured interviews with the right people to make it interesting. I didn’t want to produce some preachy condescending bullshit. I’ve been skateboarding my whole life and it occurred to me I’ve only seen professional skateboarders talk about skateboarding and their social lives. I wanted to have deeper conversations with them all about some really important issues that affect us all. To make it even more interesting, I wanted to involve musicians, artists, scientists, politicians, activists, philanthropists and more. I wanted to keep with my original concept of skaters however and wondered if I could find people from all of those other areas of life, but that also happen to love skateboarding. Fortunately, I was able to pull it off and the result is the film Humanity Stoked.

You’ve got a lot of big names that have gotten involved in the project. Who from New York is on board and what do they bring to the film? Yeah, we’ve been really blessed with the support of so many iconic people who chose to be in this film and support it (the full list can be seen at www.HumanityStoked.com). From my home town of New York, we’ve got Brian Anderson, Tyshawn Jones, 6-Time Afro-Latin Jazz Grammy winner Arturo O’Farrill, Virgin Blacktop’s Charlie Samules and more. Other cool East Coast dudes include Bam Margera, Brandon Novak, Jesse Margara, McRad’s Chuck Treece, and more.  Everyone brings their own personal stories related to the issues in the film. With Tyshawn for example, we get into his childhood, growing up poor and being raised by a single mom. It’s not about just telling the story however, it’s about the value of a mother’s love and guidance and positive ways it has impacted his life. Of course, Brian Anderson gets into issues such as LGBTQ rights and equality, but so much more. The lessons people can learn from his experiences go far beyond that of one’s sexuality. Having the courage to live truly, fully, and authentically is important to all of us, and Brian’s life is a great example of that. I’m lucky to call him a good friend. With other guys like Bam and Brandon, of course we talk a lot about addiction and recovery. They’ve both spoken about that before of course, but we hit that from a different angle. Guys like O’Farrill and Treece talk about the importance music and creative expression and the way it can impact our society and even legislation. In the end, what these people bring to the film is their perspectives and personal stories of triumph, failure, giving in to fear and overcoming it as well, living life fully and giving back. Beyond the people of New York, everyone knows New York has its own energy and vibe, and that comes across for sure. We filmed all over the world, but our New York locations include all 5 boroughs, and specifically, LES, Battery Park, Long Beach, the Wythe Hotel, the Brooklyn Bowl and other iconic New York spots.

What I’m trying to do however is help make sure whatever direction we move in, wherever we end up, it’s because it’s a result of careful, open minded, reasonable contemplation, and not as a result of insecurities, ignorance, fear, hate, intolerance and the turning of our backs on science and facts in general. 

On your website it says you are raising money and awareness while making the film, how does that work and who is benefitting from it? Great question, Chris! The importance of giving back in life is a real part of the film, so we shine a light on lots of charities that many of the people in the film are involved with. Some of the famous people have their own foundations, and that’s great, but it’s important to understand each of us is already  empowered to make a difference. It’s doesn’t even have to take money. Most people don’t have the time and other resources to create and grow their own charitable foundations, but we don’t need to. Everyone can help out in any number of ways that don’t require money or even much time. Actually, Nyjah Huston speaks about that in the film specifically.  As for the money, that’s another area we’re very proud to speak about, and with hope that it can inspire others. The fact is, we are producing the entire film for free. Nobody in the cast and nobody in the crew gets paid. Even as the producer and director, I do not take a salary of any kind. The WhatStopsYou.org Foundation has already been granted its 501c3 Non-Profit status and we’re giving every cent of our film distribution revenue to it. More specifically, in addition to producing non-profit films for the betterment of humanity, the main purpose of the foundation is providing amazing leaders from the worlds of action sports, science, business, music, the arts and more, as inspirational speakers to schools, youth groups, and other qualified non-profits that would otherwise be unable to do so. I’m proud to say the vast majority of pro skaters in the film have already filmed promos for the launch of the foundation. 

BA looks like he covered the gamut of emotions here.

When the film comes out, what do you hope the impact is? It’s funny you ask that, because at the end of each interview we complete for the film, while the cameras are still rolling, that’s one of a few questions I ask every interview subject. We also ask everyone exactly why they wanted to be featured in the documentary. The answers are often deeply moving and sometimes damn funny. We will be posting everyone’s answers on our social media and on a special website: www.WhyHumanityStoked.com. Anyway, my hope is that the film inspires people think more deeply about all sorts of things that affect the peaceful advancement of humanity…the issues that affect us all. Again, I don’t want to tell people what to think or what direction we should be headed in as a society. What I’m trying to do however is help make sure whatever direction we move in, wherever we end up, it’s because it’s a result of careful, open minded, reasonable contemplation, and not as a result of insecurities, ignorance, fear, hate, intolerance and the turning of our backs on science and facts in general. 

Who has been the most inspiring or influential person you’ve met during the making of this film? Okay, that question really makes me smile! It’s because I’ve set out to make a film that can inspire people, and was surprised to learn it began working from the very first days of production. During almost every interview we’ve done for the film, both myself, the interviewee and the crew have all talk about how inspiring the process was! Seriously man, most interviews end with heartfelt hug and even some applause, as was the case with Chuck Treece’s interview in Havana, Cuba. As for the most influential person, there are some obvious names like Tony Hawk because of their massive global reach and also because the impact the Tony Hawk Foundation has had in so many communities. In terms of the most inspiring people for me personally, there have been so many but two that come to mind are Tony Alva, Brian Anderson, Valeria Kechichian, Brandon Novak, Ray Barbee, and Vanessa Torres…just to name a few. A few of the most inspiring skateboarders to me have deeply moving stories in the film and will surprise everyone because you’ve not likely heard of them before; truly amazing people like Hamish Brewer, Ray LeVier and Chris Koch.

What’s been the best part of this whole experience for you? Without a doubt, being able to finally live my life more authentically, with purpose and being able to have a positive impact on people is an amazing feeling, although there was something else that caught me by surprise. This all began as a selfless endeavor yet in the process, my life became enriched with new friendships with some truly wonderful human beings that inspire me every day and help broaden my perspectives on so many things.

Have you encountered many challenges getting the film made? [laughs] Ummmm, fuck yes!!. There are endless challenges to making any film, but especially so on a film like this. Remember, not only is this my first film, I’m making it with zero financing so I’ve had to be very creative with just about every aspect. I also began without a single connection to anyone from the worlds of filmmaking, skateboarding, music, art, politics, etc…so I had to literality start from scratch in every imaginable respect. To this day, I am the sole producer of the film. As far as shooting the interviews, I’ve been beyond blessed with a team of amazing, selfless, talented professionals that donate their time and equipment because they believe in the mission and social responsibility as much as I do. From almost the very beginning, Nick Lang out of Philadelphia came on board as my main DP. He’s a talented filmer and also an amazing drone cinematographer. More recently, another talented Filmer and truly excellent colorist came on board, Ian Gibson from Brooklyn by the way of Texas.  Both these guys will hop on a flight with me for a 4 day shoot, working 15 hour days with no break and NO PAY. I have endless respect for them as human beings and as gifted professionals. They both deserve so much so if you know anyone that can use their services, reach out to Nick Lang at nicklangmedia.com or on Instagram @nicklangmedia and Ian Gibson at frostedindependentfilms.com or on Instagram @iangibson_fif. For the record, there are over a dozen people on the crew, all of whom have donated their time and talent at one time or another so be sure to check them all out at http://www.HumanityStoked.com

When and where can people go to see the film? The plan is for a release in the spring of next year. We are in talks now for an official screening in the Olympic Village at the 2020 games in Tokyo, as well as in New York and California. In addition to any film festivals, look for it on Netflix, Amazon Prime or Hulu. Keep an eye on our website, for progress reports and of course, like and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @humanitystoked. You can see the first official mini teaser/trailer featuring Iconic skateboarding pioneer Tony Alva and read about why I chose him for the first teaser at the website www.HumanityStoked.com. You can also look up Humanity Stoked on IMDB and see the trailer there.

Any parting words for our readers? As a non-profit film and mission, it’s critical we build out social media following, so please follow us, like and share our posts. It really will help us so damn much down the road! Facebook, Instagram and youtube are all /humanitystoked. If you are in a position to make a credit card donation to the charity, please visit www.WhatStopsYou.org

Lastly, if you want to jump out of an airplane at 12,000 feet with me and Bob Burnquist this summer, be sure to look for our upcoming contest announcement on our social media…no skydiving experience necessary 🙂

Here's the details on the 2020 Documentary featuring skateboarding's biggest names. About a year ago now, I saw down for a drink and conversation to feel out this guy's film he was working on and get a feel if it was legit or not.