#i feel like ek is about to get so much more annoying

[gl-saveme]

What happened to your finger? I cut it with a knife. That's not good. Because someone like you, Pleng, must use your fingers often, right?

Affair the Series Episode 6 Preview

[baronessvonglitter]

Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 15 🍒

"Shameless"

pre-outbreak! AU!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 3,469

Summary: secrets are revealed at Sarah's birthday party

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 35), takes place July 2003, (not-so) secret relationship, morning quickie, unprotected piv (reader is later mentioned to be on birth control), Joel being a grumpy protective dad, jealousy, oral (m receiving), someone walks in on you and Joel during an intimate moment, revelation of your relationship (at last!), no use of y/n. If I've left out any tags please let me know!

Author's Note: there was a lot I wanted to cram in here because the next chapter gets quite serious. Also, anyone interested in the "Shameless" song can find it here. Fun fact: it was written by Billy Joel about a decade before Garth Brooks covered it and quite honestly, Garth sings it better. I feel like it just perfectly captures Joel’s feelings about helplessly falling in love.

Series Masterlist

Your phone rings on your nightstand, the tinny Nokia ringtone interrupting your morning quickie with Joel.

"Don't answer it," he pants behind you, slamming into you as he grabs your hips.

"Wasn't going to," you gasp, closing your eyes when he leans down to kiss your neck.

The phone rings again.

"Who's calling at 5:30 in the morning?" he grumbles, lips grazing your ear, his breath hot on your skin. He pulls you upright, his movements slow and steady. He palms your breast in one hand and toys with your clit, enjoying your little cries of pleasure as you snake your arm around to bring him to you for a sloppy kiss.

It doesn't take long for you to come, Joel hitting that hidden spot inside you this way. He stills long enough to relish the sweet, strong pull of your walls seizing around him. "That's it, my beautiful darlin'," he whispers against your neck. The scent of your skin keeps him spellbound, your pulse pounding just beneath his lips. He's going to think about this moment all day at work.

The phone rings again and, frustrated, you reach out to shut off the noise. Joel doesn't part from you, flattening you to the bed as you scramble for the little silver phone. "Not gettin' away that easy," he grunts, his chest pressed to your back. You turn off the phone ringer, cutting the annoying ringtone in mid-play and toss it on the floor where your clothes from last night are discarded.

Joel sweeps your hair to the side, his thighs on either side of your legs as he pumps into you, hands on your waist. Trapped between his legs you feel him even more snugly inside you, the friction almost too much. "Joel!" you moan, half-muffled by the pillow against your cheek.

"That feel good? You gonna come on my cock again, babygirl?"

Just him mentioning it causes an automatic reaction, your body so acclimated to him by now that his pleasure is yours and vice versa. "Yes," you moan again, pushing yourself up slightly to be heard clearly. "Harder!" you eke out.

He rumbles low in his chest, pulse racing, heart feeling like it might just give out, but what a fucking wonderful way to go. Your pleas for more are answered as his thrusts become aggressive. "Fuck!" you whimper, your body on edge as he continues his hard work.

"I can feel ya grippin' me so tight, sweetheart.. Jesus, I never get tired of feelin' you this way."

"Joel.." you beg. "Don't stop, don't stop..."

He sustained his pace, beads of sweat starting to surface on his skin and yours, his hands on your shoulders for leverage. When you break apart, cunt throbbing, hips and ass arching up to get every inch of him soaked with your sweetness, he can't help but finally let go, slamming into you one final time as he spills every drop into you, staying still, keeping you at an angle so that you get all of it, all of him.

With Joel in the shower (it took a lot of willpower not to join him, but he was already late for work due to your morning fuckfest), you find your phone on the floor and see who called you.

Of course it was your mom.

Three calls, two voicemails, and plenty of texts.

Suppressing a groan, you dial her back, quickly wrapping a blanket around yourself and heading out to the hallway.

She answers with an annoyed tone. "What are you doing that's so important that you can't call back immediately?"

You roll your eyes. "Mom.. it's super early and it's my day off. Can't I sleep in?"

"You should start waking up early, go outside, get some exercise, it's good for you. Plus school is starting soon anyway. Don't you want to pursue good habits?"

"Yeah," you tell her, though it's honestly the last thing on your mind. This summer has distracted you from everything you hoped you'd do, and given you something even better, something you never thought you'd have.. love.. sex.. things most people took for granted but you'd been gifted with simply for being in the right place at the right time.

"Tell me why I have a bill from my insurance for a gynecologist visit."

A large lump forms in your throat, as if a natural instinct to block the truth from coming out. You'd rarely lied to your mom simply because she was good at hounding the truth from you.

"I had a UTI. Sofia recommended a good doctor." In truth you'd gone to get on the pill, a decision you'd been proud of, taking care of your sexual health. Not to mention it made Joel more excitable than ever, and almost every night had been spent with him filling you up.

"Okay.." your mom doesn't sound completely satisfied with that answer, but she lets it go. You talk a little about your summer so far, talk about her boyfriend and the road trips they take. You pray she never makes the trip out here to ruin the peacefulness of the newfound independence you've forged for yourself.

"What're you doin' out here?" Joel asks, finding you leaning against the wall. He's freshly showered, dark hair slick, skin scented with Irish Spring soap. His dark red tee clings to every muscle, even the little belly you're so fond of that he sometimes feels insecure about.

"I had to make a call," you tell him, exhaling sharply as he removes the blanket hiding your body.

"Come on, lemme see."

Your heart thuds in your ears as you open your legs, the remnants of his cum leaving a sticky trail on your skin.

"God damn.. I never get tired of that sight.. gonna fill ya up again soon, babygirl. And don't forget about tomorrow."

Tomorrow.. Sarah's birthday barbecue..

"Sure thing, darlin'. Oh by the way, I put some air in your tire, it was lookin' a little flat. Don't want you runnin' off the road and gettin' hurt," he says.

"Thanks," you're genuinely touched by his gesture.

"Next weekend I'll change the oil," he says, putting the blanket back on you. "But only if you bring me some lemonade while wearin' a cute little skirt." He narrowly evades a swat from your hand as he ducks, laughing. "All right, all right, I'm goin'. Love you." He kisses your lips softly.

About to head out to the mall to get a birthday present for Sarah, you spot a CD on the console of your car. It's Garth Brooks' Ropin' the Wind. The blue-eyed country singer poses on the cover, clad in a black and blue dress shirt against a blue sky background. You had this poster when you were a kid. It's probably still in your room if your mom hasn't redecorated.

On the back of the CD there's a sticky note: play #6

You smile, seeing what track that is, and as you make yourself comfortable in the car, starting it and letting the AC cool your heated skin, you listen to 'Shameless'. The lyrics feel like they come from Joel himself, the passion and devotion, how you've transformed him, stripped away the person he used to be for someone better, happier.

A teardrop splashes onto your lap before you realize you're crying. No one has ever shown you this kind of love, this much love before. If Joel was here now you'd kiss him.

You put the song on repeat, the anthem of your love, the anthem of your last innocent summer.

"Ice cream cake? In this heat?"

"Do you have any extra towels? And sunscreen? I forgot mine."

"I think we're gonna need some more aluminum foil."

Your house is bustling with guests, mostly friends of the Millers, other people you know, and kids Sarah hangs out with. Not one for attention, she's still enjoying celebrating her day, even more so because Joel allowed (hesitantly at first) for her to invite boys.

"One boy," he said at first.

"A boy with a bunch of girls? At that age? He'll be scared shitless," you told him.

"Good. Then he'll leave early."

You and Sarah managed to sweet talk him into agreeing on inviting two boys.

Right now they're both in the water with Sarah and her friends, splashing, being kids.

"How's it feel to have a fourteen-year-old?" you ask him as he prepares the meat to put on the grill. The air is scented with seasoning as he expertly adds it to the chicken and ribs. Tommy's at the other counter making a margarita.

He shrugs a little, glances outside at the pool where the teens are shouting and diving. "Makes me feel old."

"You're not." You rest your head on his shoulder, and hear Tommy behind you saying, "Aww. When's the weddin'?"

"What?" you force a little laugh as you turn around, watching him watching you and Joel. Joel ignores him, face turning red as he prepares the food.

"I'm just sayin'.. y'all are cute together."

"I--" there's no other reaction you can think of on the fly except to act dumb, as you're woefully unprepared for his remark in the first place.

"Let her be," Joel grunts. "Babygirl, can you open the sliding door for me?"

Following you, Joel gives Tommy a look.

Hailey from the cafe shows up, bringing some Smirnoff Ice. You sit in the shade, sipping your drinks as you surreptitiously eye Joel at the grill, listening halfheartedly as she talks about the latest guy she dated, what a disaster he was in bed. Little could she possibly know the fun you've been getting into with your own man.

"He's so hot," she says suddenly.

"Yeah," you agree, still in your own daydreams. "Who?" you ask, alert.

"Joel Miller," she answers, eyes looking past you and at your boyfriend, at the grill, laughing at something Tommy's saying.

"Oh.. yeah.." Her assessment comes so suddenly that you aren't sure how to answer. What feels like jealousy starts to bubble in the pit of your stomach.

Hailey's eyes don't leave him, and it starts to irk you. You feel a smidgen of what Joel must have felt when that idiot at the saloon had his hands on you without your permission.

"I'm fucking him."

The look on her face is priceless. "What? You're kidding.. I thought you were a virgin!"

"Was," you say with some smugness.

"Damn, girl!" Hailey looks impressed. "Is that why you asked me about what it's like with older guys?"

"Sort of. Well, yeah."

"What's he like?" she asks in a whisper.

Now this is the part you want to keep to yourself. Let the world know this man is yours, but you won't give any more details than that. It's private, it's sacred. But now Hailey thinks it's just physical.

"I'm not wearin' that," Joel chuckles at Tommy, averting his eyes from the navy blue apron his brother has produced from a shopping bag.

"At least try it on."

Sighing deeply, Joel removes his old, faded black apron and puts on the new one, unable to take himself seriously.

It reads, EAT MY MEAT on the front, with a picture of a perfectly placed hot dog.

"I ain't wearin' this," Joel repeats.

"You don't gotta. It was just a joke. That's supposed to be your birthday present by the way, so happy early birthday."

"Thanks." Joel rolls his eyes, stuffing the apron back into the bag and tending to the barbecue.

"So.." Tommy sips the margarita in his hand. "How'd an old sourpuss like you land a college girl?" He motions to you, walking back towards the house. "And don't tell me 'nothing' because that ain't true. She was leavin' your house that one mornin', you brought her home the other night, carryin' her though the front door like it was your honeymoon. You're with her all the time."

Joel shakes his head, purses his lips as he ignores his brother's look. He's tempted to say, 'She's just a cute, feisty eighteen-year-old who takes care of my daughter and gives great head.' But he doesn't have it in him to denigrate you to his own kin.

"Keep this between us," Joel warns him. Tommy nods. "But yeah, we've been seein' each other."

A little smile forms on his little brother's face. "I knew it! Sofia owes me twenty bucks."

"Don't tell her. Not yet."

Tommy nods. "Okay.. but you might not wanna wait too long, brother. Makes you look guilty."

"Sometimes I feel guilty," he mutters. "I'm twice her age. What's she doin' with someone like me?"

"I'm askin' myself the same thing," Tommy laughs. "You deserve to be happy," he adds.

"I appreciate that," Joel says warmly. "And she does.. she makes me happy."

Coming back outside from taking a break in the AC, the first thing you zone in on is Joel. And Hailey is next to him, flipping her blonde hair. Touching his shoulder. They're laughing together.

Jealousy is not an attractive trait in a woman, you can almost hear your mother say, but for the first time in your life you feel it, like a cold spike in your belly, altering your brain chemistry, blinding you to everything except them.

Before you realize what you're doing, you're marching over to them, looping your arm through Joel's, telling Hailey that you need to talk to him.

You're on autopilot, your brain screaming at you to be normal, to stop while you still can, but the green-eyed monster has taken over, and it's this monster that brings you to your room, closing the door behind you as you tear his stupid apron off him and unbutton his cargo shorts.

"Babygirl, what--"

"Why were you talking to her?" you ask, relieved that he's not hard because of Hailey and disappointed that he's not hard because he's alone with you.

"She was askin' me when the food was gonna be ready," he replies, a little exhalation of surprise when you get down on your knees before him and stroke him. "What's this about, baby? Are you.. are you jealous?"

"Of course not." You seem offended he would even suggest it, but there's a desperation to the way you're handling his cock, as if you're afraid if you stop touching it it'll go into someone else.

"Baby, it's okay. I don't like her. Don't even know 'er."

There's silence, a small grunt as you get him worked up for you, finally hard and pulsing in your hand.

"She knows." you tell him, licking the salty precum off his tip. "I told her."

His dark eyes narrow a moment before going wide as he thrusts against your touch, needing friction, either the softness of your hands or the wetness of your mouth. "I told Tommy," he admits.

There's a brief moment where the air is filled with a sense of harmony. It's a relief to you both.

With a heart full of warm, fuzzy feelings, you bring him to your mouth, cupping his ass with your hands.

"I want to do the cake!" Sarah announces, emerging from the pool and wrapping herself in a towel. Her friends follow suit, still kids at heart despite the fact that they're about to go into high school. Sofia brings out the ice cream cake, perfectly thawed out, and Tommy places the candles on - trick ones that don't extinguish - as everyone begins to gather around.

"Wait, where's Dad?" Sarah asks. "Wait, let me go find him."

The house is calm and cool inside, chilling her still-damp skin. Joel's nowhere to be seen, so she searches deeper into the house.

Getting closer to your bedroom, she hears something, a soft sound, a sigh or a moan. She doesn't think about what it could be, only who.

Your bedroom door swings open silently, and it's a long moment before Sarah can grasp what she sees: you, on the floor in front of her dad, the soft sighs coming from both of you.

It's just a second but it feels like an hour goes by as she leaves, closing the door behind her louder than she intends, walking back out to the party, a thousand-yard stare on her face.

She walked in on an intimate moment between you and her dad, and though she'd teased you about it, even predicted that something like this would happen, seeing it was very different. If she's walked in on you kissing it would've been different, but it's as if you've ruined her hopes, as if you've skipped the fairytale ending and shown a cruder, lewd side of being an adult.

When she returns, brushing the tears from her eyes, she simply says that she doesn't feel well, they can skip the birthday song, please serve her friends first, she's going home next door to lay down.

Joel's a little disappointed when he learns Sarah left early, attributing it to her burgeoning teenage attitude, which he'd rather not deal with at the moment.

Selfishly, you're more preoccupied with whoever it was who closed the door on you and Joel earlier. Obviously someone had seen you, accidentally, and left quickly. It could be anyone at this party. Walking back after your hookup feels like going in front of a firing squad. A glance from this person means one thing, a word from another person means something else.

As the day grows late you keep at Joel's side. He doesn't try to push you away. You make yourself comfortable, sitting next to him as you eat, letting your thigh brush his. You even lightly brush an imaginary piece of lint off his shirt, your hand lingering on his shoulder as you talk with the other guests.

You forget who's idea it is to tie knots into cherry stems. You've never heard of the challenge, and when a bowl of leftover cherries from the cocktails made earlier that day is brought to the table, you bite the sweet bulb of red fruit and easily tie a knot on one with your fingers. Joel teases you, telling you, "No, babygirl, with your tongue."

A little moment passes between you, a shared look that is not lost on the others. You take another cherry and he bites off the fruit while you take the stem and place it in your mouth.

It's a hidden talent, one that impresses the table when you effortlessly tie a knot into the stem using only your mouth.

And that's how you get the nickname Cherry.

"You know what this is s'posed to imply, right, darlin'?" Joel rasps, twirling your tongue-tied knot in his thick fingers.

"No idea," you smile, lost in his eyes.

"It means you're good with your tongue," he murmurs.

It happens so quickly, so naturally that you don't realize it until it's happening. Your lips are on his cheek, loving the feel of his stubble against your soft skin, and everyone else is looking at you.

"What?" Joel asks, addressing the table, pink showing up on his cheeks. "My girlfriend can't give me a lil' kiss?"

Cleaning up the kitchen later on, Sofia comes next to you, busying herself with packaging leftovers and rinsing off dirty dishes. You can feel the tension between you.

"I don't approve," she says sternly, not looking at you.

"Of what?" you try to sound innocent, but you know she can see right through you, that it's pointless to lie.

"Of you and Mr. Miller," she says, using the formal surname you should have been using all along.

"You don't have to approve," you say, scrubbing particularly hard at a stubborn spot on the stove.

"He's twice your age, cousin," she says with concern. "I'm supposed to be looking out for you while you're staying with me. How's it gonna look, me letting you date someone older?"

"That's all you care about? How it's affecting you?" you shoot back. "Please. You sound like my mom."

Sofia sighs. "This kind of relationship can't be healthy. He's done more, he knows more.."

"I know."

"Please don't tell me you've-"

"We have." There's no pleasure in telling her this, but it's a massive relief to tell someone.

"God damn it," she mutters. "Are you at least being careful?"

"Of course!"

Sofia's at a loss, unsure of what to say, the warnings countless on her tongue, but unwilling to part from her lips.

"I love him," you tell her. It's whispered confession, as if your own truest feelings carry the worst sin of your life.

Another author's note: just wanted to clarify that Sarah didn't see anything too inappropriate, but she definitely understood what was going on.

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dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑

[panlight]

I.e. Bella not suffering any consequences: what I find even more annoying is that Meyer makes such a big stink about the books being about choice but only BELLA gets any big choices. Every other member of the Cullens was forcefully turned, either entirely against their will (Carlisle, Jasper) or to save their life (Alice, Edward, Emmett, Esme, Rose). Every shifter is forcefully turned due to the vampires; not even Jacob chose it in the end and actively fought against it. Imprinting is forced. Don't get me started on Leah. And even if Nessie wants Jacob in her life, the book heavily implies that she wouldn't have a choice either way. Also, she has to stay with her family because she'll never look old enough, isn't as invulnerable, etc. Literally only Bella has any choice over life-changing decisions (even Edward claims that he never had a choice in loving Bella). Bella chooses Edward (actively endangering herself and others), chooses to be a vampire (supposedly an evil, immoral life endangering others), chooses to give birth to Nessie (possibly an inhuman killing machine while endangering herself and others), and so on. And instead of ANY consequences AT ALL for what appear to be TERRIBLE choices (based on every single book except the back half of BD), she's ALSO the only one who gets pretty much everything she ever wanted while everyone else has to live with whatever crumbs of happiness they can eke out. It's infuriating if you care about anyone AT ALL other than Bella.

Totally agree! It's always been amusing to me that SM says the books are about choice. The apple being offered on the cover presents a choice: do you take it or not? Do you eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil? Do you take the apple from the old woman who might be a witch or evil queen in disguise? And the original name of the book was "Forks;" obviously for the setting but also for the idea of forks in the road: which path you will choose?

But Bella's the only one with any real choices here. She actually has a lot more agency than a lot of people give her credit for. SHE chose to move to Forks. SHE chose to pursue a relationship with Edward. SHE chose the reckless actions in New Moon. SHE chose to ask Edward to sit out the fight. SHE chose to become a vampire. SHE chose to keep the pregnancy. She certainly suffers hardships, but they almost all come from choices SHE made for herself.

And the negative effects of those choices are temporary or unimportant to her specifically. Her scars from James are healed in the transformation; Emily's face is still scarred. The toll her pregnancy took on her body is erased in the transformation, but Esme is still 'rounded and soft' from her pregnancy, and Alice is 'thin in the extreme' from her malnourishment. Bella doesn't even burn for the full three days, only two! There's even a line where Edward literally says something like, "Renesmee's eyes are exactly your color, so that wasn't lost after all." She gets to keep Jacob literally forever (he has no choice) and she gets to keep Charlie when no one else got to keep their human families in their lives. Irina dies, but Bella doesn't know her so it doesn't matter.

I fully understand the main character is the main character for a reason; because they're special, because their journey is unique, etc. But this is also the reason I tend to find main characters annoying. This is not a Bella problem or an SM problem but a me problem. I feel similarly about Harry Potter and Katniss Everdeen as I do about Bella Swan. I like ensembles; I like when there are lots of narrators, or when there's no obvious 'main' character. And if there is a main character, dollars to donuts they aren't my favorite; I will 100% always sympathize more with the secondary characters and find them more interesting.

Bella gets to choose what she wants for her life and it all works out for her. Good for her! Genuinely! But it's a glaring contrast to the stories of virtually all the supporting characters and, to me at least, less interesting. Forever disappointed Bella being a newborn was such a non-event. I was looking forward to it for three and a half books and she just basically carries on her life like nothing has changed. Meh. The supporting characters not having many choices and making the best of things is personally more interesting to me.

[waterfire1848]

A little twist on the nonbender!Sokkla -AU with a Azula being a prodigy in archery instead of a swordfighting-prodigy. Hit us with your headcanons, please :)

Hello, @subterraneanwatcher !!!!

(Side note but I'm loving the nonbender!azula asks) (Also, changing this up just a bit so that it doesn’t seem like a copy and paste of the sword AU)

1. When Azula was born a nonbender, Ozai wanted her dead or thrown in an orphanage. Ursa and the Fire sages intervened on her behalf though, arguing that she had some promise. So, Ozai allowed her to live but she was forever treated as the unwanted child. Ozai wasn’t fond of either of his children so Ursa did her best to split up time between the two but Azula still felt left out most of the time. She would often wander the palace alone, as the child servants and nobles would look at with disgust or pity, and try to find something to fill her time. One day, she saw the Yuyan archers practicing in the court yard and asked if she could try. The archers decided to humor her and helped her use the arrow (because again she’s a child) and Azula fell in love with the craft.

2. She begged her mother and father to let her enroll in archery classes and while Ursa was worried about her (because Ozai’s words about her being weak were getting to her) Ozai decided to let her so that he could have an excuse to not have his nonbending daughter around. When Azula started her lessons, she excelled. She was a natural and very fast learner. When she turned 11, the archers asked Ozai if they could take her with them. He gladly agreed.

3. Azula officially became a member of the Yuyan archers when she was twelve, the youngest member, and grew to love her little family. Most of them treated her like a younger sister or daughter. They joked around with her, brought her into the circle when they ate, gave her tips and praised her (all things she was missing from her bio family). Azula started going on missions at the age of twelve as well and became known as one of the Yuyan archers most accurate hitters at 14.

4. Azula was annoyed when they were hired by Zhao (who didn’t recognize her thanks to her makeup) but didn’t complain because the task of capturing the Avatar seemed like an interesting on. Azula remained with her brothers and sisters until the Avatar escaped and she attempted to stop him. Aang accidentally hit her head and she slammed it against the stone and was knocked out. Feeling guilty, he takes her with him and runs off, leaving the Yuyan archers devastated and believing her to be dead (don’t ya just love Fire nation propaganda??)

5. Aang brings her back to the cave where Sokka and Katara are still sick and lets her rest because she’s still knocked out. When Sokka and Katara wake up, they debate about taking her with them or not: Aang wants to because he doesn’t feel right about leaving her here alone so they decide to do that. After getting her onto Appa and getting in the air, Azula wakes up and demands to know what’s going on, yelling about her arrows and bows and the other archers. Aang explains what’s going on and that they can’t take her back but are more than happy to set her down and let her walk back (which isn’t an option because they’re in deep EK territory and Azula would very quickly be captured). Azula agrees to come with them until she can find a way back to her own people.

+1 (because there was no room for Sokkla) - Azula takes a notice in Sokka’s weapon and asks him to show her them. He gladly does which leads to a conversation about Azula’s archery skills. (Sokka: Wow! Your family must be really proud! Azula:…Not exactly. Sokka: What do you mean? Azula: My father only wanted benders as children. I’m a nonbender so he pretty much threw me away before I could even crawl. I don’t care. I stopped trying to impress him years ago.) Slowly but surely, the two grow closer and closer until the North Pole happens. Azula refuses to return with Zhao and (with a bow and arrow given to her by Yue) stops him from killing Tui (Azula: I’m not called the sharpest Yuyan shot for nothing. Sokka:…Do people really call you that? Azula: No, but I want them too, and I just saved the fish. I think I’m entitled to a cool nickname). Yue remains alive and in the North Pole but agrees to get them to start participating in the war. Azula, having killed Zhao, officially sides with the Gaang and her relationship with Sokka grows. All of them unaware that Zuko, who was trained under Ozai, is now after them.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

If You Can't Dance 4

Warnings: dubcon, noncon, other possible triggers. Proceed with caution.

Note: this is what you get when you encourage me. Please leave any and all feedback! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Part of The Club AU

One second you're alone at the table in the back corner, the next you’re not. You don’t see G come in, you only notice him as he pulls out a chair one away from you, along the side of the table and drops down. He drops his bag into the seat on his other side, a stitch of agitation already between his brows.

The room is getting loud. The voices of your coworkers, old and new, buzz from around the other tables and near the coffee station. Only the grim loner opted to sit at your table but you guess that’s because he knows you won’t bother him. You appreciate that he’ll repay you in kind.

You give a tiny wave to him and he nods. That’s the most you’ll get and as much as you need. It feels a bit better having someone familiar with you.

You look down at your cup of water. You’ve only had a few sips. You slide it away and nervously draw circles on the tabletop with your fingertip. G shifts, unzipping the bag next to him and shoving his hand inside. Something lands right in front of you; you blink at the pale green packet. It’s tea, the same tea you drink every day.

You glance over at G with wide eyes then back to the tea bag. He has another in his hand. You shake your head in confusion.

“You always drink it at the meetings… I’m tryna get off coffee,” he grits out as he stands.

Nothing else. No time for your response and you’re not sure you could come up with one. You’re surprised and utterly upended. He strides away from the table as you grab the packet and turn it over to read the ingredients. Your brand and brew, you can’t mistake it.

G puts a cup by your hand as he comes back, setting his own in front of his own seat. He sits again and tears open the packet. You don’t know what else to do but the very same. You open the package and place the bag in to steep. The smell comforts your stirring nerves.

“Thanks,” you eke out, looking over at him but not getting as far as his face. His thick fingers curl around the paper cup, silver rings on his thumb, middle, and pinky fingers.

“Mmph,” he grumbles. Yep, that’s G. His dissonance is almost reassuring.

You lean over and inhale the rising aroma of the tea as the water slowly tints with the pale jasmine colour. What are the odds? You play with the tab dangling from the string, he must have a good eye.

“Alright,” a voice carries over the din as the speaker claps his hands, “let’s settle in.” You peek up as Jonathan stands at the front of the room, “I’d like to start by thanking you all for coming today. I know we’ve a lot of work to do in this unification, a lot of this work will be done by you, our experts, and so I want to make sure you have all the support you need.”

You scrunch your nose. So he’s not a fellow programmer, he’s the boss. Oh god. You want to shrink into a grain of sand. You slump down and draw the cup close, clinging to its heat. G sniffs as he turns the cup and inch, back and forth. Is he nervous like you? No, probably annoyed.

“So we’ll start simple, we’ll go around and introduce ourselves, name, title, what you typically do, and a little bit about yourself.” He smiles, “I’ll go first; Jonathan Pine, Chief Operating Officer, I work to make sure that all is operating well. You will see me from time to time, though I do tend to see supervisors more often, despite my best efforts to check in with everyone. Oh, and my little tidbit, I have an undefeated record at the billiards table.” He smirks and points to the first table.

You tune out their words, too concerned with what you’re going to say. You’re not interesting at all. You can talk about your work, that’s easy, but yourself? 

Your dread builds as each person stands and lists off their answers. You feel dizzy as the drain circles around you. Oh no, you hate talking in front of others. If you could avoid all interaction, you gladly would.

Then it’s up to you. At first, you don’t even stand. As you do, you hit the tea and spills, splashing over the table and dripping over the edge. It scalds your hands before you can pull away and wets the front of your shirt. You back away as you squeak and shake off the moisture.

“S-sorry…” you choke out, blinking wildly as your fingertips sear. “I… I’m–”

G stands, “I’m G.” He says bluntly. Nothing else. 

Silence, deafening and defeating. You feel your chest caving in. Without a thought, you storm away from the table and up the side of the room, pushing quickly into the hallway. You feel like crying but you won’t. You don’t do that, not over tea. Not over strangers.

You wander down the hallway cluelessly, not sure where to go. You don’t know where anything is. You hate this place! You hate this so much. You should just quit.

[alshaverpressbox]

the minnesota wild as High School Musical characters

did I take this too seriously? yes. have I spent the last week thinking about this? also yes. anyway, the context: we were assigned the wildcats by a swede. @babygirlspurgeon kept tagging things with HSM lyrics. @wildaboutmnhockey created the masterpiece video of the mn wild set to getcha head in the game. so now here I am!!! this has been meticulously constructed with the help of my friend who doesn't know anything about the wild beyond what I tell her (shoutout to zoe for being balls to the wall no matter what I throw at her! who else will discuss the misc. cunt levels of the wild players with me). anyway to make this easier on ourselves we constructed a reality wherein High School Musical is being recreated on ice & instead of basketball in the plot it's hockey, so this is NOT about who's most like a character etc (though that ended up being a large part of it anyway whoops), but who could embody them best in a production of it. since the cast for HSM is not...particularly large, I was really getting down into the weeds with minor parts to fit (almost) the whole roster in here, so most everyone has their moment!!! anyway. and lastly. I am just saying that mounting this show during intermissions could maybe fix the nightmare this season has been & bring the team together. because they are. after all. all in this together.

tldr: this is basically a fancast of HSM using only the minnesota wild. I am not explaining myself any further

***

Troy Bolton // Matt Boldy

look. we really had to waffle between many options for Troy and this is where we ended up. my thoughts on matt boldy have been semi-well documented at this point, so mr. white bread bimbo feels like an organic option for this role. I feel like he can really serve us some mid-range semi-insensitive high school jock realness + angst without trying too hard. plus: I feel like he'll play off Shawzy as Gabriella really well.

Gabriella Montez // Mason Shaw

for as fucking annoying as Gabriella is at points, there's an earnest authenticity there that shawzy so easily embodies. his "let's play hockey" moment from playoffs 2023........he has the emotional RANGE and will murder When There Was Me and You in cold blood. plus, much like gabriella does for troy in HSM, mason will be able to coax that emotional performance from boldy as troy with his whole do-it-for-shawzy energy. what else can be said!!! the boys love him!! so don't worry, shawzy!! you soon will be soaring. flying. and breaking free.

Sharpay Evans // Marcus Foligno

marcus foligno the man that you are. he can and WILL serve the cunt necessary to be Sharpay. he will commit body and soul to bringing this role to life, though we may have to adjust the line "evaporate, tall person" to be more appropriate. anyway. I would give SO much in this life to see moose perform Bop to the Top. who will fund this with me.

Ryan Evans // Mats Zuccarello

known funky little man mats zuccarello does SO WELL as Ryan in my mind. his dancing has been well documented so you KNOW he's gonna absolutely kill the game with those jazz squares (it's a crowd favorite! everybody loves a good jazz square), plus his affable, everyman, team-first energy is exactly what the role of ryan demands. also: the idea of him as ryan and foligno as sharpay....chef's kiss.

Chad Danforth // Ryan Hartman

hartzy...hype man for the boys...put him a series of shirts with chirpy slogans on them for my enjoyment please!!! then make him walk around with sports props for the entire production. anyway, hartzy gives me the requisite jock bro energy necessary to pull off chad's role, as well as the bitchiness needed to essentially sabotage something that is making his best buddy troy happy. plus. I'm just SAYING. given chad and ryan's dynamic in HSM2. I am eyeing him and zuccy with anticipation.

Taylor McKessie // Joel Eriksson Ek

he's going the distance. he's going for speed. he's being cast as the tenacious captain of the scholastic decathlon team. mr. september is nothing but committed to his craft and this seriousness and dedication is EXACTLY what we need for taylor. that being said, our boy jeek is up for some shenanigans given the right situation, so will he manufacture a situation to rudely disrupt the decathlon & basketball finals? but of course!!

Kelsi Nielsen // Connor Dewar

who ELSE is going to bring enough weird girl energy to the table?? I feel like dewey 2 would take this SO seriously and the role of kelsi, while at times beyond fucking annoying, demands nothing but sincerity and dedication. he wouldn't be able to NOT take this seriously. this man has also stated that he would be a writer if not for hockey, so we can really get some method acting up in this bitch. essentially: put a bowler hat on that beast and watch him go.

Ms. Darbus // Marc-Andre Fleury

this role had to be rotated in my mind a lot before settling on a casting choice. I mean, goalies are weird, and I feel like flower would bring jussssst enough bizarro energy that would perfectly drive a middle-aged thespian who, for some reason, allowed a high school student to write and mount a musical that seems to make little to no sense. maybe it's all part of a large prank. who knows.

Coach Bolton // Jake Middleton

I can't pretend this is anything other than typecasting, I'm so sorry. I can't look at middsy without being reminded of the dad from Inside Out, plus "the mustache is saying pushing 50" according to my friend. I can also perfectly envision middsy yelling WHAT ARE THOSE TWO DOING IN A TREE with great dedication, so. assigned dilf at HSM casting

Lucille Bolton // Jared Spurgeon

does spurge deserve a larger role? maybe. possibly. probably. but look: once we cast middsy as troy's dad, spurgeon was quick to follow as troy's mom. who are we to fight the natural sexual chemistry of these two? anyway. assigned milf at HSM casting

Jason Cross // Brandon Duhaime

typecast as dumb jock from a team of jocks. what does that say about you, mr. duhaime??? anyway, dewey 1 is really going to deliver on the clueless but loyal bro vibes here. as a bonus. a very IMPORTANT bonus. I have to note that at the end of All in this Together jason is the one to remove kelsi's bowler hat and help her shoot a basket in a VERY flirtatious manner. and I AM all about putting the deweys in that situation, so help me god.

Zeke Baylor // Frédérick Gaudreau

he IS a sweetheart!!!!! a sweetheart!!!!! someday you WILL make the perfect crème brûlée, freddy!!! & your boys will love you for it!!!!

Martha Cox // Brock Faber

the glasses are giving nerd. and then THIS is giving pop and lock and jam and break.

Skater Who Plays the Cello // Jon Merrill

do I need to explain this one????? c'mon. he's so believable as a skater kid and ALSO as someone who plays the cello. the duality of man is contained in jonny "vibes" merrill.

(tbc)

[isa-ghost]

*grabby hands desire more qphilza headcanons*

WEHEHEHE

qPhil headcanons masterlist

He hates it bc he hates the quiet and feeling vulnerable n bored but sometimes this idiot really needs alone time. Whether it's to think or to do something Just for him or to self-care or something else, he needs some Him Time. And between being a dad of two, several people's confidant, a Horrors(tm) magnet, and just generally a self-negligent dumbass, he rarely gets any.

Another hypocritical thing he does: Complains he needs xyz (a break, rest, some kinda need met, etc) but whenever someone else tells him he needs xyz he's like What No I Don't I'm Fine And Functional Wdym. It's like the second someone is caring for him rather than him finally caring for himself, he's suddenly allergic to care at all

"Thanks I hate it" <- loves it very much or thinks it's hilarious unless it's a legitimately bad thing. Says this to Fit A Lot

He's the epitome of "Fine I'll do it. But I'm gonna complain the whole time." And depending on what it is, he ends up genuinely enjoying himself

Boating unironically de-stresses him. Though nowadays he can't help but think back to the Purgatory insanity he heard while at sea Day 1. 50/50 if he laughs about it or gets a pit in his stomach thinking about the trauma

From all his sleeping in that stupid fucking chair in the bunker, motherfucker's back sounds like bubblewrap sometimes

He has to sleep on his stomach bc sleeping on his wings BIG OUCH uncomfortable. At best, they just fall asleep. At worst they're in unbearable pain.

He's extremely paranoid after Chayanne's 3 day fight with EK that EK will possess Chayanne next or go after him first whenever he returns

At this point he barely thinks Cucurucho is a threat. More so a semi-annoying pathetic little weirdo with an obscene amount of power

He misses the old spawn bakery. The new one's kinda whatever. Too boujee. The old spawn one was not only a short walk from home, but also cozy and had character. Also he misses being able to prank it.

He also has beef with the use of gold for decor in new spawn bc shiny surface sometimes blanks/distracts his crow brain.

He (used to, been kinda difficult to post-Purgatory for misc reasons) go to Cellbit to give him pics & info on happenings/enigmas on the island. Now his go-to is Bagi (he sees her more), but like. He never Goes To Bagi. She just so happens to bump into him when he has something he needs to talk to her about or give to her

Missa occasionally gives him really good back massages that melt him into a puddle. They're rare bc a) Missa's away a lot and b) his back is very sensitive and in pain more often than not

Every once in a while he gets tea cravings and he hates it

Good god this man is not a morning person. His body just simply won't let him sleep last like 10am and he hates it.

[notmoreflippingelves]

I need to ramble more about Esteban Flores, because everything about this character and his arc seem as though it was tailor-made for me and specifically designed to make me absolutely feral.

This going below the cut, both because I do not want to spoil the entire show for my friend who is think of watching Elena of Avalor and because I go full-on apologist here and I feel like that will annoy some people.

Imagine making the absolute worst mistake than anyone could possibly make, because you are 18 and scared and stupid and tired of being ignored. And it results in you losing your family and your freedom and what little self-respect you had left because you know all of this is very much your own fault.

 And so you proceed to spend the next 41(!) years eking out a miserable existence in an oppressive state. Upon fear for your life, you are forced to be the reluctant right-hand of the evil witch-queen who conquered your country, killed your aunt and uncle and trapped your cousin in magical prison. In spite of this, you nevertheless do everything within your limited power trying to hold the kingdom together and make sure the people don't starve, because the queen certainly doesn't care about anything except greedily bleeding your country dry.

And no exaggeration, this is just what canon explicitly gives us outright in the pilot. Like that's not even getting into head canons/interpretations/common sense of what exactly this sort of life entailed for you. Because this is a children's show so there's only so much they will let us imply about living under that kind of system. Especially as a young, attractive, terrified person who is the last living member of the previous royal family who is likely being kept alive partly as a combination trophy/punching bag for the evil queen (even if the show never actually states this outright).

And then by some miracle, what's left of your family comes back after all this time. The evil queen is overthrown, partly because you yourself finally stood up to her at a critical moment. You and your country are finally free again, and what's more, you and your family are finally together again after over 4 decades. But you still feel like an outsider--partly because you always were an outsider in your family even in the better times and partly because  over the past 41(!) years, time stood still for all of them except you.

And as a result, no one ever cares to ask what those 41 years were like for you or even just if you’re doing okay. Not only because your family can’t even begin to comprehend what it must have been like, but also because they don’t care to even *try* to understand. Because the narrative has decided that everyone else’s respective traumas is worth way more than your own.  (Though tbf the narrative really doesn’t dwell much on anyone’s trauma in general but yours gets especially neglected , except to briefly play it for laughs or to remind you that your trauma is *your own fault and only your own*).

For a little while, life is pretty okay. It’s weird not having to watch your step every instant to make sure you’re not putting a toe out of line. And so you never really fully break out of your “survival mode” conditioning, making sure that you are still considered important and valuable enough to keep around.

But all the while, you know that your past—and especially your terrible little secret—is eventually going to come back to haunt you. And it does. First via blackmail and then via the return  of the evil witch-queen herself. Fortunately, she is defeated for good before she can take avenge your “betrayal of her” but you still have to deal with seeing the ghost from the past who terrorized you for 41(!) years.

And then, your secret finally comes out in the open and you are disowned by your family—the family you *just* got back a few years ago—for an admittedly super bad decision that you made over four decades ago and have regretted ever since.  Rather than face the rest of your life in isolation (as though you didn’t already have enough of that during the previous regime), you escape before you can be sent into exile. This puts you directly in the path of *another* terrifying, evil magical milf who you are forced to ally yourself with. Because you have 40+ years of conditioning that when a woman like that says “jump,” you say “how high?” if you are to have any hope of survival.  Especially given that the only people who could’ve protected you from her are the family and friends who have just definitively washed their hands of you.

Despite this, you are still trying to seek your cousin’s forgiveness and to protect her in the little ways that you can. But you are constantly getting rebuffed over and over again, and if anything, your attempts at reconciliation only seem to make your cousin angrier, and she now hates you just as much as—if not MORE than—the woman who actually murdered her parents.

Your cousin is so angry at you specifically that she actively ignores the greater threat of Witchy Milf 2.0, because she happens to see your face and is enraged. This ends up backfiring spectacularly for you both, though it does indirectly lead to the defeat of said Witchy Milf 2.0.

But guess what?  There’s no time to breathe or celebrate, because her defeat occurred during the successful summoning of a third power-mad, feminine-presenting magical humanoid and her allies. At least, this one treats you with some initial respect and actually gives you outright what you-think-you’ve-thought-you-always wanted. But she also turns your family and friends to stone in front of you as a warning of what’s to come if you dare to defy her.

But this time, you are finally done with this, have finally lost enough that you have paradoxically found your courage. You sacrifice yourself to save your cousin, and she is finally able to accept that you’ve sacrificed and changed enough that she can forgive you. And her forgiveness is so powerful and pure that it not only restores you to life but also undoes all the other evil magic. Together, you defeat this final enemy, paradoxically by banishing her to the same Underworld where your mistakes accidentally sent your aunt and uncle and her parents long ago.  Peace has been restored. You have returned for good and are finally secure in your family’s love.

And after all that, there are *still* people (both presumably in universe and in the fandom outside of it) who say it's too little, too late and that it would've been better for everyone if you'd simply stayed dead.

Like I'm just... are we really victim-blaming the character who has 45 years of unprocessed trauma and guilt (both survivor's guilt and guilt in general) because of a decision he made when his brain was still developing and he was being manipulated by an older, much more powerful person?

[ebby172]

@isa-ghost per request, I continue to try and cook, tho I'm not exactly a writer xD

- he takes some sculk home because it's pretty and its a good touch for builds sometimes - this is a bad choice - he goes to use it later for a project (i dont remember rn if he's actually used it recently, but that's not super important) - hey that's so weird it seems he misplaced all that sculk he got, he has to go back to get more, so annoying :( - he's also been sleeping badly, now that he's back in hc his body (mainly his wings) have been healed plenty, but they still sometimes ache enough he struggles to rest - now I'm not too sure how it starts exactly, I kinda want it to be that he starts hearing the Scourge's whispering to him and mistake it for Kristin since he's so tired - the whispers grow as he works with the stuff, and he's surprised to find that the few times hes had to take a nap to skip the night or try and rest his body doesn't hurt as much after - it starts preying on his loneliness, it offers to not be alone again- you cannot when everything and everyone is a part of you. And doesn't he deserve that guarantee? isn't he tired of always losing those he cares about? doesn't he long for them to forever be a part of him? that is not greedy, isn't it love? -This possession is- or at least feels- more painless that when EK did it. As subtle as EK started, his work met a lot more resistance than the Scourge did (on account of there being no support system to help Phil this time, and so it being able to take all the time it wanted to get a hold of him) - I cant imagine Phil being as gone as he was with EK either, he's aware and in control of what hes doing most of the time, he's just convinced that the Scourge's goal is at least not so terrible, and its not like he's hurting anyone so far, so why does it matter? (so an altered common sense, basically) - but eventually it starts to demand he spread its influence more, because it's never enough -Phil has the wherewithal to not want to corrupt Rose's domain yet out of gratitude, so he decides to go as far as he can to delay it as much as possible - Don't think about how that means he;s also leaving one of the last options he'd have to remove the corruption, I'm sure his gratitude and respect of Rose was the only reason he felt compelled to leave :) - And that's how he end up on the jsmp, where I'm sure he'll be able to do what he came here to do without having to come to terms with what he's allowed to happen to him :D -as a little thought because we've only had one stream so far, I reckon Fit wouldn't clock the possession yet because its so different from last time, even if he can tell something's up with Phil -because if it was EK again Phil would surely be going for the bounties relentlessly, so he's probably sick and/or having a very rough time after what happened in qsmp

[licuadora-nasir]

There's not much people haven't said about Errant Kingdom on steam, but I've been following them since they first launched WTNC as it was my first visual novel, and I was greatly looking forward to EK's finale, so I might as well give a piece of my mind.

First of all, maybe I didn't catch on, but who attempted on the monarchs' lives? Who were the creepy cultists in the forest? The ending seems rushed. It's like they had a lot of loose ends and they did a poor job tying them. Lazy writing.

Until chapter 4/5 we didn't know what was going on, and then, in the last release, we've been presented with the problematic of the story and the poorly crafted ending with barely no epilogue.

I'm also annoyed that most of the romance with the MC and some LIs have been barely developed while Maja and Erik's seems more important than ours. I get this is a VN and not an otome game, but sometimes our MC didn't feel like the protagonist.

For instance, the Livia x Nomad route hasn't been half as developed as Maja and Erik's. They barely see each other and they fall in love? I get that given their roles in the story it's complicated, but if you're not sure you can deliver good work, why deliver it at all?

My impression is that they developed the story and the plot AND THEN tried to stuff the main character in there, offering us crumbs of romance after they started to officially date.

I'm not gonna talk about the communication of this team, the constant changes on the release of the chapters or the lack of organization and formality cause we all players are familiar with it, and the usual broken promises and delays are not easy to forget.

I checked the last review I gave them in itchio and it was 4 years ago. This doesn't feel like a game that has been worked on 4 years.

Although I have to say that not everything is bad, as the characters truly are what bear the entire burden of this project. The characterisation is splendid, and the reason why I've waited all these years for the game to release and actually play it is due to my emotional attachment to them.

With much more reason, I kinda feel played by this team cause I suspect that knowing of the love and affection that their clients have for these characters and the fact that many of us would play the game regardless of how long it took, they've relaxed.

I don't wish any ill to Lunaris Games, but I do hope they learn from this and improve the communication of their company as well as the way they develop their games.

[syncogon]

misc thoughts fresh off finishing yumi and the nightmare painter: 

* i should’ve taken my time reading this ahaha. books definitely hit different when savored and on larger screen/pages

- there were some tropes i didn’t like here, like painter pretending to yumi to be all cooler and more heroic than he actually was = cringe when it comes falling down. at least that part was relatively short. but like digging a hole with your lies ughhhhhhh hate that hate misunderstandings hate people not believing you when you tell the truth 

- was not convinced to care about the side characters. they didn’t really get any development. i wasn’t even sold on the old friend group being friends with each other - their banter wasn’t that good, and I’m sensitive to this kinda thing atm since I’m in my own struggle of writing convincing and interesting friend group interactions - nor were they written particularly compellingly as individuals. akane was kind but that was about it. i love the sleepless as a concept and masaka was great but she really came out of nowhere to help. and liyun could have used more development 

- speaking of masaka this is a hot take as a cosmere fan but i think there’s a point where the cosmere references get too much and detract from the story at hand. felt that a bit with lost metal, at times with tress, and definitely here. 

- hoid’s narration - i thought it fine in tress, suited the fairytale storytelling tone, but his comments felt kind of more annoying and distracting and out of place in this one. at least he had an actual role in tress...

+ the twist was very cool, big fan, i was totally misled, but 

- the reveal was... the fact that what happened was so complicated that it needed SUCH a big exposition dump, i was not a fan. like im grateful to hoid that he knew i was confused. but it shouldn’t have been so confusing, there had to have been a better and more elegant way to present what happened 

- and im still a little confused about what we saw of yumi’s world was real 

- also like who were the actual aliens they encountered lmao we’re just moving right along

+ so i was ready to throw hands when i saw “epilogue”. and then “another epilogue” ahaha. to be fair that sad ending was still a good ending itself but god i would’ve been so upset hahaha

+ the ending made me feel things. almost eked out some tears. such a good ending overall.

+ the art ahhhhhhhhh so pretty. def my fav artist / artwork of the four (i’m just a big fan of this kind of aesthetic. traditional korea + futuristic japan) 

- though i was a little disappointed with the cover. not sure why. the pure outlines don’t stand out very well and the text font/color... idk... 

* for some reason i thought that the colors being cyan and magenta meant that there’d be significance in the missing third color yellow or lime or smth. i thought there was a WoB or smth. oh well 

* are maipon sticks actually any different from chopsticks. why not just also call them chopsticks. 

- i think the preview chapters gave me expectation that there’d be a bit more with their respective magics and worldbuilding which were so cool and i wish we saw more of that, b/c that kind of stuff interests me more. top tier aesthetics for these worlds. but i guess this was always supposed to be more “inward” and more focused on the romance... 

- i think i didn’t find yumi or painter super likable on a personal / personality level either. this is kind of a me thing though. i know they’re supposed to be Like That with their backgrounds, histories etc. i suspect i’d appreciate them more on reread.

- oh yeah and i want to know more about the other yoki hijo too! 

+ this is a pretty focused book even if i do want to know more. i can respect that. like how this was a lifeswap not a bodyswap, allows for keeping the focus on the story he wants to tell 

+ will admit it was super funny that painter was seen as yumi but yumi was still just seen as herself 

+ was gonna cry at the introduction of the Machine to replace Art. but then it was like, maybe it’s worth it if it saves any other girls from suffering the - abuse, basically - that yumi had to go through? but in the end the Machine is unequivocally the evil here 

+ i do love yumi Stacking Things whenever stressed ahaha

this sounds like a lot of negative points but those are more interesting to talk about and those are what come to mind quickly esp since i’m just pulling thoughts out very quickly and haphazardly here. to some extent the good parts go without saying and id appreciate them more on (a slower) reread and tbh i might make a follow up post as i think more on this. i think i was just a little disappointed bc i came in with really high expectations... ah well. still a good book overall, and i want to give it a reread to better understand and catch some things. i think my current ranking is tress > yumi > frugal 

but im gonna hit post for now to forcibly stop myself from adding more

[shine-reblogs]

sighs i just finished errant kindom and man...it really feels like one of those "we had this super cool, super in depth idea that we hadn't actually finish preparing when we got all our funding and made promises, and then we lost interest halfway through but are obligated to finish it" situations. i wanted to believe they could fix things give then TWO YEAR break they had to come up with something but its just *so* obvious they stopped caring about EK once they got the greenlight for Call Me Under. idk how much most people remember from early dev of EK (since they've deleted two tumblrs, privated their original twitter account + deleted comments on the itchio pages to get away from the drama they've caused through this whole process. very normal things for a developer to do in response to very justified critique lol) but the change in attitude/tone/amount of updates about it after CMU became a thing was immediate and noticeable even back then. i think most people (me included) figured they were just really excited about their next game esp since wtnc had bought them so much good will, but in hindsight the warning signs were there even before the hiatus.

i know they site covid as the main reason for delays and everything for EK but at the same time, they've been perfectly on pace for CMU despite its development starting later (but before the pandemic) and not having nearly as many financially backed obligations as EK did at the time? they managed to release two waves of new content for WTNC including a mini story they charged for during the pandemic and got most of an extended demo done for CMU, but the ending of EK is the best they could manage in two years *AFTER* getting another 3 months to work on it from the original re-release? sorry not buying it any more, i'm sure the pandemic made things difficult and i emphasize but they very obviously were getting work done, just not on the project they should to have been prioritizing over their shiny new toy.

It definitely feels like they got tired halfway and just put whatever together to call it finished...

Honestly, I got into EK kind of very late (just about when they went on hiatus if I recall right?), so I missed a lot of the drama about the when and hows of the updates. I'm not necessarily annoyed that they ran into problems and had to release much later than originally said (that's the risk of buying unfinished games), but I would have appreciated it if they were more forward about it from the start. Instead they made excuses and pushed the date further and further away with half-baked excuses, and now that annoyed me. I honestly would have preferred if they took an indefinite hiatus and came back together to the game finale with a fresh mind instead (a controversial opinion perhaps, but I'd rather have had a good finale later than... Whatever we got now).

I'll admit I haven't yet looked into their other games (I get into stuff randomly and at random times), and after everything that went on I'm certainly no more confident to do it now.

I can only hope that the devs do better in the future, being more honest with the fans and taking their time to deliver a final result according to what they've been building up.

[robotlesbianjavert]

i'm not sure what to ask besides what do you think the nayuta + denji + power + aki dynamic would be like? my sister and i were discussing it the other day i think the nayuta + power interactions would be explosive given how needy both are. they definitely band together to dogplie people though there's no doubt about that. aki and denji would not survive it i think. ik some people aren't fans of "everyone lives and is happy" aus but idk love, peace, and, happiness on the planet earth i love em <3

but like fujimoto's works mean so much to me. his work has made me cry more than once. he puts so much thought into his characters and their behaviors. the payoff after all the buildup is amazing.

i bought chainsaw man 1-14 + the csm light novel + fujimoto's one shots in japanese the other day. cus i really want to learn japanese. buying jp manga to read will serve as a motivator. plus i got the complete could you die, my darling? and the tokyo bride story series. since both are favorites of mine. they haven't come in yet but i will be so happy when they do. also i think you can cross reference this with other asks i've sent since i'm kind of frequent in your inbox LOL. will probably fall asleep after sending this

OH HO MY MANGA REC ANON EYYYYY HOW YOU DOIN

anyways excellent question had to think about it a lot while getting through my post-camping haze. i think in some ways i have to mentally break it down in two camps: does nayuta + aki/denji/power take place in a scenario where shenanigans have taken makima out & brought nayuta in before makima's scheming were able to manifest, or a scenario where makima shows her hand and the plot more or less plays out except aki and power manage to eke out a survival?

this distinction would be most apparent for aki. if we're dealing with the former scenario, where aki can still 'love' makima, he's gonna grieve her, feel guilty about not being able to stop it because he just feels guilty about everything, so he's gonna be really protective of nayuta. a bit smothery. in the latter situation though, where makima's plans have come out and he's feeling shock and betrayal, and probably fear and anger and guilt over how power and denji were in danger? i think aki would be much less open to having her around, even cold and distant. not outright mean, but think how he was with denji and power turned up a notch. not like completely heartless about her, she's still sooooooo baby, but it'd be a rocky relationship. nayuta is gonna think he's annoying probably. but he makes good food. so he may live.

with denji, i think the most important factor to consider in comparison to what we're seeing from the denji+nayuta canon relationship, is that here denji isn't alone with her. while i still think denji and nayuta would still be the closest, but i feel like denji doesn't have to Single Dad it so soon after losing aki and power. like, in this reality has he been forced to confront the truth of his childhood? confront makima's manipulation of his feelings? while i don't see denji like, being less close to nayuta and wanting to take care of her, i do think there's some room where he's less compelled to make her #1 while aki and power are still in his life, or if he thinks that aki can help take care of her the way he takes care of everything.

this probably is of no surprise to anyone but the idea of a power + nayuta dynamic intrigues me the most. i think first and foremost that they would Not Get Along (At First, Shenanigans Can Still Happen). their brashness and pushiness are so similar that i think they'd just fuckin clash. ESPECIALLY over denji. they both want denji to pay attention to them and be their bestie and not hang out with the other. in particular, i think that power would delight in being Bigger and More Powerful (from her perspective) than the former makima, and try to pay back all those times makima intimidated her. this won't work out for her! but then something looney tunes slapstick will happen to denji and they will take a break from their rivalry to laugh at him and all will be well.

the other aspect of power+nayuta i kinda mull over is like - so we see power openly disobey makima, The Control Devil, in chapters 90/91. and i'm going to have to reread the series to recall whether power had disobeyed makima before, because i feel like i had the thought before those chapters came out but i can't remember. we do see power pathetically pushing back or whining when makima tells her to do something, only to be cowed when makima looks at her like :) but it's still different from the more servile or fawning way people influenced by makima. though maybe it's because power is a fiend rather than one of the humans that makima condescendingly dotes on. idk i just want power to be My Most Special Girl and have that 'it factor' that lets her resist makima's direct control or something. and nayuta recognizing this and being both threatened and intrigued by her. it's not a legit theory i have but i do think of it.

but eventually. EVENTUALLY. there will be love peace and happiness on the planet earth. fujimoto would never deny us that.

but yeah 110% agreed on fujimoto's works meaning a lot. csm, fire punch, his pre- and post-csm oneshots, pretty much everything has a spark that i straight up can't resist. i do get extra sentimental about look back and goodbye, eri just because they happened to come out after i was dealing with a loss and it was like, Man He Gets It. and he's a fan of psycho goreman dude has taste.

anyways. wishing you LOTS of luck in learning japanese. i will never be able to do so because i do not have a head for languages (my mom lost the form for doing french immersion and from that point i was doomed) and can only subsist on what my friends share, but there's a lot of value in learning any language. which sounds corny. but it's legit.

[benchofindigo]

Asian TV Shows Watched in 2024

And here is my 2024 list! All shows listed are ones that have completed airing.

This time I put them in sections - Thai, Japan, Korean, China, Honorable Western Media. Each section lists the shows from fav to least fav.

Thailand:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - Is this the best written show? Nope. Does it have anything serious to say? Nope. Is it probably my new comfort show? Yep. This show is so silly and overdramatic at times but ngl SailubPon have such good chemistry that I could watch them all day doing the most whack things. And that's why it's at the top of the list.

Moonlight Chicken - Loved it! Felt so authentic. Relationships are messy at times, they don't always work out, life sometimes really really sucks and horrible things happen to good people.

Cupid's Last Wish - the acting was very well done and the pining was also chef's kiss. The ending was meh, but from my experience I'm not a fan of how most Thai BL wrap up their shows, so wasn't too bothered by it. Pleasantly surprised by how respectful some bodyswap elements were done, like the period. Did still have some annoying stuff, like Win being so much weaker in Lin's body, though they did say that Lin had some sort of sun sensitivity but it was blink and miss it compared to all the times they say Win has to be careful when in her body.

A Thousand Stars - This show did make me cry and I enjoyed it, but it got a bit too overdramatic in the last couple of episodes which is why I controversially liked it less than Cupid's Last Wish (which also was overdramatic at the end, but it didn't feel as drawn out imo). Anyways, Earth and Mix get the best GMMTV shows imo because all three of them felt more mature than the company's normal offerings and overall had solid storylines. Hopefully their adaptation of Ossan's Love continues that trend...

Manner of Death - A solid mystery show that was well acted, directed, and shot. Didn't need the full 14 episodes imo, but the ending was actually pretty solid. I do think this show would have been better as a GL - just because it was kind of frustrating to see most of the woman be victims but none of them were a main character.

My Stand In - Love the concept and was a fun watch. Need to suspend disbelief over one of the main couple falling in love with a person based on just seeing their back but it's fine it's good, don't think too hard when watching this show. Expected it to be more toxic than it was actually.

Pit Babe - a wild ride. Ngl though, didn't care for the main couple oops! AlanJeff all the way and the other side characters were what kept me engaged.

Every You Every Me - love the concept, though didn't quite stick the landing. Did cry at X & Namping's story even if it was overdramatic and the relationship didn't actually make sense for the dramatics given they knew each other for what? A month? Sian & Blue storyline was the best even with that weird art contest plotline.

Affair the Series - started off great with a messy co-dependent friendship. Didn't quite maintain my attention by the end of it. Also, for a show called Affair - there wasn't much of an affair going on - Wan and Ek were already separated (even if Ek was in denial about it). I wanted more messiness, like Wan still living with Ek and hiding the fact that she's with Pleng etc etc. Sigh. Whateves. The two actors have good chemistry.

The Trainee - Cute at places, but that ending? Why? Also would have preferred if Ba-mhee and Tae did not end up together. Ba-mhee and Judy weren't right for each other either but the concept of not ending up with someone is also a thing, hello??? Appreciated the little facts about a commercial production house.

The Secret of Us - had some good moments, but Earn annoyed me so much. So many stupid tears from that woman. I especially hated it when she was crying to Susi to get out of trouble. It felt so much like white woman tears especially considering the power dynamics and Susi being a trans woman. (in contrast TLDHLB had Wan's agent - another trans woman - rightfully storm away from Wan when he was being an asshole which is what I wanted Susi to do). Also, Earn never actually apologized to Fahlada for what she said in the past which irked me. Like she said horrible shit (even if she didn't mean it) and then in the present jumped right into trying to win Fahlada back and seemed oblivious as to why Fahlada wouldn't want to get back with her? Like read the fucking room. Anyways, best character on the show was Ingfa and she deserves her own show.

Wandee Goodday - Started good and was cute, but lost steam at the end and I lost most of my interest. Also they have Plakao and then don't really do anything with him :/ (guess I have to stick with Jdramas if I want well-rounded ace rep). A meh show.

Cooking Crush - DNF up to ep 11... it was cute at parts but never really spoke to me. Too cutesy for me maybe. The conflicts and things that happened to get characters to interact - like getting knocked out by a soccer ball of all things just made me roll my eyes.

23.5 - Had cute moments but was boring and the drama was annoying especially towards the end. Had to watch it on double speed to get through it.

Cherry Magic Thailand - Stopped watching at 4 episodes. May return to it, but I do not understand why it seems most prefer this version to the Japanese live action. It's way over-bloated with filler dialogue and the chemistry is not there imo.

Dead Friend Forever - middle episodes were good but it did not stick the landing. Way too many threads were left undone and the last episode was so rushed for no reason - like nothing happened in the previous 2-3 episodes before that. Show made me feel like I wasted my time watching and is a big reason I decided not to watch 4minutes (also can't care less about Bible so yeah lol)

Jack and Joker - disappointment of the year. What the fuck was that plot and still mad at Jennie's character's death.

Blank the Series - DNF. Forced myself to watch all of season 1 then asked myself why am I forcing myself. The younger of the main pair was sooooo annoying and I could not for the life of me understand what Neung saw in her.

Playboyy - Did not finish - got up to 12 episodes and realized they were going to make the abusive pairings end game so noped the fuck out. Read spoilers later on and yep that was what happened so glad I didn't continue watching.

Japan:

Koisenu Futari (Two People Who Can't Fall in Love) - Wait there's actually a show that portrays ace/aro people in an authentic manner and in such a positive light? And they're the main characters? What???? My heart was filled with such joy watching this show. Also, Takahashi is literally me and I love that he's a 40 year old man. Queer middle age people!!! And stuck the landing - like yes - ace/aro people can create family and relationships based on their terms not what society expects of them. You can be a family and live apart and be perfectly content ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Okay I'm good.

Cherry Magic - so adorable!!! I'm totally fine with the fact they didn't show the kiss. It was all about the hands and the hugs and everything else. Also aro representation my beloved!!!

Ossan's Love Returns - so funny and heartfelt and love seeing middle-aged gays. Also has found family dynamics too which I love to see.

Old Fashion Cupcake - older men getting together woo!!! And with the older of the two being the one to discover his sexuality- love to see it! Short and sweet.

Perfect Propose - cute though the overworking was too real 😣😣😣

Love is a Poison - Fun! Wish this show was longer so it had time to let the relationship breathe and maybe delve into some more messed up shit, but for the time constraints they have, this show did a really good job.

Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko - DNF after 2 episodes. This one was not for me. Didn't find it funny and leaned more towards cringy for me and then read spoilers that made me not want to continue watching so I didn't.

Korean:

Love in The Big City - beautiful. Absolutely beautiful show.

The Devil Judge - Some good fucking food. Such a smart well thought out plot and incredibly developed characters. Sunah the villain that you are 😍and of course Yohan and Gaon and their spiral of betrayal and devotion. Found family too!! Like so many beautiful, filling, morsels to gorge oneself on with this show.

Extraordinary Attorney Woo - So wholesome and fun! Last few episodes kind of tapered off but overall enjoyed this a lot. Also, made me think about some of the stuff I do and how Young Woo does them and well... hmmm... (also the fact that Young Woo was able to set boundaries for hand holding - wish younger me knew to do that, might have saved me a few tears back in the day lolll)

Let Free The Curse of Taekwondo - a solid show. I read some weird spoilers which skewed my idea of what the show would be and it ended up not being that so was a bit confused watching it but upon reflection the show does what it sets out to do and has the right emotional beats. Some plot threads are not the most neatly resolved but overall a good watch.

China:

Meet You At The Blossom - Another fun show! Xiobao has like sub zero braincells but he gets what he wants at the end so he's doing something right!

Honorable Western Media Mentions:

We Are Lady Parts - Amazing Showstopping Spectacular! Go watch - season 2 is better than season 1 and season 1 was already amazing!!!

Run The Burbs - Cute, funny, wholesome.

[grimowled]

ANIMALISTIC THOUGH the impending coupling was, as always, there was something lingering between them, caught hanging for a mere moment where time stood still; there was precious hesitation shrouded in bewitching confidence, and though he hid it all too well behind that assured façade, and almost managed to inveigle his avian lover of the same, the owl demon was superbly versed in more than just observing with his eyes.

(an opening.)

in his long existence, he'd seen very few beings capable of such attentiveness in the sheets and, coupled with blitzø's natural irresistible allure and charming flightiness, it fed the demon prince's festering obsession with the imp. it wasn't even about the abyss between their social standing, or how they practically lived on different planets when it came to lifestyle and motives - and while stolas had a undeniably soft spot for imps, his utterly ravenous and primal longing for blitzø transcended even the titillating yet trite prissy-prince-and-rugged-peasant kink.

(it was more fun when they played hard to get - and this one really didn't want to be caught!)

there was nothing like feeling the weight of his feral lover's knees dipping the mattress behind him, ready and rearing to savagely mount him; but then he'd go for something unexpected - and never did he disappoint.

(what he wouldn’t do for a peek inside that pretty brain between those fierce horns of his!)

the downed prince all but squawked in surprised delight as the base of his tail feathers was roughly yanked, just the way he liked it, moaning unabashedly at the sudden and very welcome visit of a forked tongue teasing the tight and pulsing heat of his cloaca, obscenely adorned with the threads of his own seed as excitement could no longer be contained in the coils of his loins.

"oh blitzy--I, aah-- ngh! yes, yeees... more, more please--"

begged obscenities tumbled alongside rugged breaths and moans without restraint past the parted beak of the lascivious supplicant, ruby red crescents squeezed in most sinful bliss as the tongue dared deeper, followed by those wretched claws.

(and they were still in the overture of their evening!)

taut arse wiggled and pushed against the hungry beast's maw, at the mercy of his claws, tail feathers quivering, winged arms squirming and taloned feet bracing and tearing at the bedsheets, helplessly greedy for more of everything he was eking out in torturous parsimony, the obscene touches and squelching noises from the way his own hole sucked everything in teasing him to nigh madness; expert in doling out as much teased frustration as he did pleasure, every slick of that serpentine tongue pushing him deeper into the murkiness of that lustful insanity.

"stop torturing me so-- aahhn,-- fuck, I need more of you-- give me your big cock, stick it in me --please! nnh-- I can't take it much longer--"

despite his brazen enjoyment of that royal arse eating, the desperate, filthy whining and the way his lanky limbs trembled with shameless need was meant to provoke and purposely annoy the other into doing his very worst; no longer was a dignified owl prince-- all solemnity mercilessly buried beneath the sheets of the indecent altar of their desecration, his title sacrificed to the fanged jaws of the hellborn ravishing his behind, the demon's true power at play as that damningly gorgeous imp worked his way to fucking him just the way he craved.

 【𐂃】 sassy features decor his demeanor, rude && cheeky. Unamused with the prince's melodramatic inquiry. ( who the fuck else is in this room ?! ) Blitz had all but mused to himself, deciding to keep his rampant tongue at bay. For now. Remaining pleasantly pleased with the gift acceptance.

Settling into the mood: he took a kneel. Thighs rotating inward && his hooves pointing outward. Legs spread apart in a 'W' sitting, claws digging into the sheets as he leaned forward. Prepping, devised to crawl towards his fledging prey when given the signal.

❝ That's right, you're not gettin' the prince treatment tonight, bitch. I'm going to breed you so hard- you won't be able to stand straight when I'm thru with you. ❞ he'd counter, flicking the owl's toe-talons with one of his fingers. A small discipline gesture for not biding his tongue. ( they were here for sex, not words! ) Despite his domineering nature, when it came to intimacy, there wasn't a soul out there he fully committed to like he had with Stolas. Stirring away from condoms, usually going all in. As he intended tonight, enticed to give the owl a belly full of his essence.

Half-lit irises gleamed, observing, fixating on the royal adorning his arms. Causing his hues to become a little, daresay, enamored with the new visage. Recalling the time Stols had taken full demonic form to save his ass. His highness, fully dressed, seeming a bit more plump even. His cheeks were flustered- innerly cursing himself for loosing his cool act. ( suffering with foolish unrealistic thoughts ) The display of an impaired bird beseeching a crooked frown out of him. ( fuckin' hell ) Taken aback he pivoted his head to the side- looking away until the owl's voice chimed in once more. Instantly causing him to wince, urged to shake his head to regain his composure.

❝ uh, right! ❞ he nearly choked, on cue, crawling his way to his majesty. Grasping the base of their tail feathers he fiercely tugged it towards his own body, hosting their rear end higher for a better angle. The imp planned to mount him, but in due time, for now- he grew inclined to moisten their ass first. ( despite it already being wet )

He probed the entrance with his forked tongue. Seductively licking, teasing, leisurely coaxing before slipping his tongue inside. For an extra tingle, entering two fingers at the same time. Deliberately twisting his claws inside to rekindle a few sparks.

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @k-eke

My name is Kévin, but everybody calls me Kéké! I’m a 2D animator and illustrator, mostly drawing little bouncy animals and sharing them on the internet. I like cartoons and storytelling, trying to create stories where people can find themselves in, also trying to go further and develop stories that are rare in media, such as LGBTQ+ content, for example. I try to keep up with my 3DS to create my work and see how far I can go with it!

Below is our full interview with Kévin!

How did you get your start in animation?

I started animation back on September 4th, 2009, this is when I discovered Flipnote Studio on the DSi for the first time. I did try to animate before but solely on paper, and I had no knowledge about the medium at all, so it was an amazing discovery. I later became self-taught and could keep going by myself.

What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as a creator?

I feel the habit that talks the most to me as a creator is communication. I feel it’s important to communicate with your public and fans to keep them updated and knowing how things are moving. It’s getting overwhelming to me the more I grow because the community is massive. Still, I keep up, and I thank many people for always updating me when something wrong happens (thieves, plagiarism, etc., etc.).

From idea to final piece, how long does it take for you to create something?

It all depends on the idea and process of the creation. For example, if my idea is just to animate a cat bouncing, this might take me a few minutes. Otherwise, if I want to animate 50 pigeons bouncing, this will take me around 5 hours or more! In general, an animation takes me less than a day or more if I’m busy on the side and can’t advance as much as I wish I could.

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Art blocks often happen. I take them as good to rest and do something else. It’s not a must to draw/animate all the time or too often, and when it happens, I take it easy and try to entertain myself and see when it will be back. Also, I scribble sometimes just to feel like I’m still drawing but not with a point to reach a certain idea, just to let my hand go and make something silly. The mood can come back faster this way!

How do you use Tumblr to further your creativity?

I love Tumblr for the fact you can post 10 illustrations/GIFs as one whole post. This is not possible on other websites I know, so that was great for me to be able to make a compilation of GIFs and post it all there in one shot. It was really helpful and also allowed me to make a few little stories with this opportunity.

What is the hardest part of your process?

The hardest part is drawing on a DSi, 3DS literally! It’s so limited, with few colors (4 or 6 depending on the version), 2 or 3 layers, no zoom, and no options to make camera moves …… but I still love it haha. I’m so used to it that those don’t annoy me anymore, I accepted them, and people admire my art for it (I think!)

Have you ever wanted to dive into another medium before?

I did. Now I use TVPaint and Flash, toon boom more often, but in the end, I still come back to Flipnote Studio because it’s my favorite tool and program.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

So many inspire me it would be hard to choose! But I did love Sarah Andersen, Owlturd comics a lot, visually and the humor. Also, the use of Tumblr to post multiple pages at once: it inspired me to try it as well!

Thank you for stopping by, Kévin! Check out more of Kévin’s work over at @k-eke!