#i feel like any second now quinn is about to tell us that his parents sold him to the one direction when he's 12

[elvesofnoldor]

can't believe blackwood farm is just a cheesy text-based supernatural fantasy romance rpg game. quinn is just a blank-slated self-insert player character. He gave off "player character who can be selected as either "male" or "female" on the start-up screen but the choice doesn't impact the story whatsoever because the dialogues and choices would be literally the same" vibe. Meanwhile, lestat, former villain, current anti-hero, now a featured bisexual love interest that everybody calls "playersexual". This book has only one purpose, and it is to let you imagine what's like to want to fuck lestat through the perspective of the most pathetic most livejournal fanfiction.net self-insert character ever who also happens to be a bit louis look-alike. This book is so fucking bad, but at least it's hilarious.

[quintinh43]

3 Times Quinn Almost Proposed + 1 Time He Actually Did

The best decision Quinn ever made was you. From the second he stumbled into that Cafe with his parents, to moving in with you, to admitting he loved you and everything else in between. It was a no-brainer that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. And there was no doubt in his mind that you felt the same way.

"I can't believe you're proposing," Jack said, tapping his fingers against the center console of Quinn's car. He never could sit still, and sometimes it grated on Quinn's nerves.

"Why? Do you think it's too early?" Quinn asks anxiously, running his tongue against his lips.

Luke pitches forward from the back seat to share his input, "You've been dating for like what? Five?" He asks, doing some quick math on his fingers.

Quinn nods, "Since March,"

"Ya know, we still haven't forgiven you for not telling us immediately," Jack huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"If it's any consolation, you are the first people I wanted to tell," Quinn says placatingly.

"Quinner, go easy on our uneducated brother, he doesn't know what the word consolation means," Luke says seriously.

Quinn snorts a laugh as Jack turns around to swat Luke on the head. "I have a bigger vocabulary than you dumbass!"

Before the two of them can escalate into a full-blown bickering match, Quinn interrupts, "Back to my problem, guys! Do you think it's too early to propose?" His fingers tap nervously on the steering wheel as he navigates to the jewellery store.

"There's no proper timeline when it comes to proposing Quinny, it comes down to when you are ready and you feel like it's the right time in your relationship," Jack says.

"I mean, you already knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Y/n, so this is just taking the next step towards that, isn't it?" Luke adds, adjusting his Devils Hockey cap over his curls.

"When did you two become so wise?" Quinn grumbles as he pulls into the parking lot.

"We've always been wise beyond our years," Luke says puffing his chest out. Jack flicks his cap off his head, rolling his eyes.

"Sure Lukey," Quinn snorts, running a hand through his hair.

"Alright boys, let's get this done." Jack claps, practically jumping out of the car.

It wasn't hard at all. Quinn chose a shop where he could completely customize the ring, and with access to your Pinterest board and all the rings that you already own, he knew almost exactly how he wanted it to look. The only thing he was nervous about was whether or not you would like it.

"Don't overthink it too much Quinn, you know her better than you know yourself," Jack squeezes his shoulder comfortingly.

"You could propose with a ring pop, and she would treasure it for the rest of her life," Luke adds, with a roll of his eyes.

The three of them are in and out of the shop within an hour, and Quinn is smiling his ass off all the way home.

1.

A week later, Quinn picks up the ring. It's even better than he imagined it would be in real life. As his car pulls into the driveway of the lakehouse, he sees you out front with his mom, helping her tend to her garden.

You kneel in the dirt, sunglasses perched on your nose, and a canucks cap on your head. Smiling and laughing with Ellen as you both pull weeds from the ground. Quinn's heart beats out of his chest with happiness, and he's struck with the urge to kneel in the dirt next to you and present the ring to you right then.

When you notice that he arrived, you grin widely, giving him a wave. There's dirt smudged across your nose and under your nails, and Quinn thinks the ring would be a lovely accessory to your mud-stained hands.

The outline of the ring box feels warm in his pocket as he approaches you and his mom, "Hi babe," he greets, dropping a kiss to the top of your head, and it takes everything in his bones not to get down on one knee and pull out the ring right now.

"Hi Mom," he says with a quiet smile, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Her eyes twinkle knowingly.

"Jack and Luke are napping upstairs, and the two of us are going to start lunch as soon as we're done this."

Quinn nods, "Lemme change and I'll come help you two," he runs up the stairs, tucks the ring box safely at the top of his closet and changes into shorts and a t-shirt to help you and his mom in the garden.

2.

Quinn never expected to be the guy who obsessively walked around with his engagement ring in his pocket after he bought it. But here he was, on the boat, with the ring sitting in the glove compartment. Which you had complete access to.

Jack had called him an idiot, stating that a number of things could've happened, from you finding the ring accidentally, or it falling into the water. Or maybe even a shark eating it. Luke was quick to call Jack an idiot, saying that there were no sharks in Lake Erie. Jack rolled his eyes and flicked Luke in the forehead saying it was to emphasize how stupid Quinn was being by bringing the ring with him onto the boat.

Quinn is currently in the driver's seat, you're on the wakeboard, and the rest of the boys are littered around the boat, whooping and cheering as you throw the rope and tip backwards into the water with a salute.

Trevor whistles low with admiration, "Wow, Mrs. Huggy is a professional,"

"She's not Mrs. Huggy yet, but she will be soon," Quinn mutters under his breath just as you climb the ladder back onto the boat.

It takes a minute for the words to register, but as soon as they do Trevor's jaw is on the floor. He stares back and forth between you and Quinn.

Jack, Quinn, and Luke wear various degrees of alarm on their faces, hoping and praying that you didn't hear anything.

"Damn, guys, was I that bad?" You laugh nervously, and you take in the looks on their faces. You unzip your life jacket and squeeze as much water out of your hair as you can.

"He-" Trevor starts pointing at Quinn, but before any words can actually leave his mouth, Jack is tipping Trevor over the edge of the boat and into the water.

You burst into laughter, and the boys seemingly return to normal as a soaking-wet Trevor climbs back into the boat, muttering obscenities under his breath. "Alright, who's next?"

"Me," Quinn says, desperate to get away from Trevor's pointed smirk, "You're driving," he says, pushing you gently into the driver seat where he was previously seated.

"Are you sure you want me to drive?" You ask skeptically, brow raised.

"O'course babe, there's no one I'd trust more." Quinn punctuated his sentence with a kiss on your cheek. Jack makes an offended noise, that sounds like a dying bird of some kind and you laugh at him.

Quinn rolls his eyes at him as he zips his life jacket and gets into the water for his turn on the wakeboard. He gives you a thumbs up, and parrots the movement, before slowly accelerating. You stand at the wheel of the boat, half twisted towards the back, so you can keep an eye on Quinn.

Quinn stands easily, and you smile accelerating a bit more. You turn in patterns that aren't too sharp but still make nice big waves for Quinn to ride. He's grinning like a madman. You maneuver the boat in a manner that gives him a wave to jump off of if he wants to.

He takes the opportunity, sailing through the air and managing a half spin before he hits the water. You drive around him in a slow circle as he resurfaces.

"That was fucking amazing! Where did you learn to drive a boat like that?" Trevor asks admiringly.

You shrug, cheeks heating under the praise, "My dad taught me," you say, crawling to the back of the boat and offering Quinn a hand as he climbs the ladder, "Been driving watercraft since I was like, twelve or something," you grin, squeaking as Quinn shakes his wet hair out in your direction, "You should see what I can do on a jet ski."

Jack whistles heartily, "We might have to take you up on that one of these days,"

"Sure, Jack, if you think you can handle getting your ass beat by a girl," you smirk. Jack scoffs offendedly, and Luke cackles from where he lies at the front of the boat.

Quinn is smiling so hard, his eyes crinkling at the corners, "I think we have to upgrade you to Captain for the summer, that was the best boat driving out of all of us," Quinn praises, pressing his lips to your hair.

"Seriously!" Jack says excitedly, scrambling for a life jacket, "That looked so fucking fun, no one can ever make waves like that! I'm next." He says jumping in the water before anyone can protest.

"Don't let this one get away Quinner," Luke says, tipping his hat in your direction, "Or I'll take her from you," he throws an over-exaggerated wink in your direction, you giggle and Quinn rolls his eyes. As if the shithead wasn't with him when he bought the ring.

Quinn eyes the glove compartment, where the ring is stored, and thoroughly debates how proposing right now would play out. A sharp whistle from Jack pulls him from his thoughts, and he takes his spot at the back of the boat as Jack spotter.

You resume your place in the driver's seat, and for the rest of the evening, that's where you stay.

Quinn almost has a heart attack when he sees you reach for the glove compartment, but Luke manages to fake trip into you just in time so that Jack can sneakily snag the box and relocate it to one of the other boat compartments.

3.

The house is completely full, with a bunch of the boy's friends who are visiting. Everyone is camped out around the fire pit, nursing beers and laughing loudly. You are curled up in Quinn's lap, head pillowed on his chest while you listen to all of the boys talk about their fondest memories.

You play with the strings of Quinn's hoodie, while he absent-mindedly traces patterns on your arm. His chest rumbles with laughter and his arm tightens around you, as Jack tells a story from when they played together for Team USA. An overwhelming wave of gratitude washes over you. You're grateful for everything in life, and most of all Quinn.

"You're quiet tonight," His lips are pressed against the side of your head, and the comforting baritone of his voice soothes your soul, "doing ok?"

You nod, bringing your fingers up to trace his jaw, "just thinking,"

"Penny for your thoughts?" He speaks low, his words only for your ears, the crackling of the fire, and hearty laughter fade into the background and at this moment it's as if you and Quinn are the only two people who exist.

He was a way of doing that. Making everything else disappear and making you feel like you're the only girl in the world. "I'm so grateful for everything," you answer quietly, "especially for you. Getting to experience life with you, being able to support you, having you there to support me- and just everything that you do and have done for me. You know?"

Quinn's heart swells so wide he thinks it might burst out of his chest. Before he really knows what he's doing, he's slipping out of the chair and kneeling in front of you. You huff because you were enjoying being curled into him.

His hands are on your thighs, and your hands cup his cheeks, thumbs tracing over his cheekbones. Neither of you has noticed that the laughter has died out, and everyone is watching the two of you. Their faces are a mixture of disgust and confusion.

Jack and Luke look downright horrified, sharing a look and exchanging silent words with their eyes.

"Will you m-" Before Quinn can complete his question, Luke is scrambling out of the lawn chair that he and Duker are curled up in and tackling Quinn to the floor.

"BEE!" Jack screeches, adding to the dramatics as he stands on his chair and points in the direction of where Quinn and Luke lay in the grass, "THERE'S A FUCKING BEE!"

There was no bee.

At Jack's distressed yelling, half of the boys are out of their chairs, running around and swatting at the heads of the non-existent bee.

You hold your stomach, laughing at the general chaos. It shouldn't be as funny as it is, but the sight of almost twenty grown men screaming about a bee is pretty hilarious.

"You are welcome you fucking numbskull," Luke hisses in Quinn's ear, as he helps him back up. Quinn gives him a sheepish smile of thanks. Were it not for his brother's antics, he would've regretted that being how he proposed for the rest of his life.

Once the general chaos dies down and everyone is back in their chairs calmly, you speak up with a smirk on your face, "You guys do know Bees are not nocturnal right?"

Quinn looks pointedly at Jack like he's an idiot. As if Quinn has the right to call him an idiot when he almost proposed to the love of his life in front of twenty hockey boys around a campfire on a Tuesday night.

"How do you know that?" Jack asks, crossing his arms over his chest with a pout.

"Yeah," Trevor scoffs, "Seems untrue,"

You snort, taking a sip of your beer, "I'm an elementary school teacher, dumbass, the science unit about bugs is practically ingrained in my brain. Bees are definitely not nocturnal."

"Nope, there definitely was a bee," Luke chimes, "I literally saved Quinn's life."

"Yeah, I saw it too," Dylan adds with a nod.

"It was basically the size of Quinn's head," Cole adds, "really Y/n/n I don't know how you didn't see it," Cole says matter-of-factly.

"I can't believe you guys are trying to gaslight me about bees right now," you snort, nuzzling further into Quinn's warmth.

"I heard it buzzing in my ear, babe," Quinn says seriously.

You roll your eyes at him and tuck your head under his chin and he wraps his arms around you securely, pressing a kiss to your hair, while you argue with the guys about Bees for the next half-an-hour.

+ 1

Quinn slips out of the bedroom to let you finish changing, he pads down the stairs to where his family waits in the kitchen. Jack presents him the ring box, that he had decided to keep with him after the boat incident. Quinn tucks it into his pocket with a deep breath.

"You ready Quinner?" Luke asks, squeezing his shoulder comfortingly.

"Yeah," Quinn nods, breathing deeply.

"She's gonna say yes," Jack reassures, giving Quinn a pat on the back.

"I hope so," Quinn says nervously.

His dad chuckles, "Don't worry kid, you're doing great compared to how nervous I was when I was proposing to your mother,"

Ellen laughs fondly, "It's true, he was so nervous he forgot to pull out the ring, and then when he finally did, he dropped it."

Jim rolls his eyes, but the smile stays. Quinn laughs at that, then all his anxieties are bubbling to the surface and spilling past his lips before he can stop them.

"What if she doesn't like the ring? What if she says no, and she thinks it is too soon? What if I fall on my face? What if I lose the ring? What if-"

Jack squishes his cheeks together to keep him from talking. He tips his forehead against Quinn's staring deep into his eyes. "Breathe with me, Quinn,"

Jack takes exaggerated breaths, and Quinn follows his lead. Jim and Ellen quietly slip out of the room, leaving the brothers to themselves.

Once Quinn's breathing returns to normal, Jack lets him go. "She loves you with her whole heart, Quinn. You have nothing to worry about," Luke says, bonking his head against Quinn’s affectionately.

"Thanks, guys," he murmurs, running a hand through his hair with a sigh.

Everything goes smoothly in Quinn's opinion. Even when he practically forgot his whole speech. But if he had to do it again, he wouldn't change a thing.

-

Yeah so this ended up being like 2.9k words....

Anyways enjoy friends!

So it's basically a fic but lazy.

Part of This Universe

[luvhughes43]

tuition payments | hughes!sister

[luvhughes43 masterlist🌷]

request: hi!! i love your work and would like to know if you could do hughes brother x younger hughes sister as the reader, who is short money to go to college and is afraid to ask her brothers first help hut once they find out they help her out?

word count: 0.6k

with your parents' new jobs, they were off the grid for awhile while they tended to their clients and hockey prospects. you knew that in advance, which is why your parents had paid for your tuition before their schedules became busy. so when you got an email on monday saying your tuition was overdue, you were shocked to say the least. 

there was $3 000 pending in your account, which meant your scholarship hadn’t gotten cleared again. you emailed your school back immediately, asking about the money and if your credit could be used, but you didn’t get a reply. all you received were multiple OVERDUE messages, each promising to add more money as a late fee to your already high balance. 

you didn’t have enough money in your savings or chequings account to cover the remaining balance, and so you hastily picked up shifts hoping you could make enough to cover the costs. your friends downright asked why you couldn’t just ask your brothers for the money - and in truth you could, but it just felt wrong. you felt so bad for being dependant on everyone in your family, so if you could help it you would work for the tuition money.

you had almost saved enough when you got the email that your payment had gone through. you sighed in relief, thinking your credit went through but when you checked the app you saw that the remaining balance was paid via card. 

you didn’t have a second to think before a call from quinn lit up your phone. 

“hey quinny?” 

“why didn’t you tell me about your tuition?” he asks, getting straight to the point. 

“how do you know about that?” “dad told me before he went on his work trip to check your accounts and make sure everything was paid,” quinn states simply, and you wonder briefly how quinn even got into your school account before realizing your parents have your passwords. 

“oh…”

“why wouldn’t you tell us you had tuition due?” your brother asks again, this time his voice full of confusion. “like, we could’ve handled this sooner. at least you don't have any of the stupid fees,” he trails off. 

“i just,” you pause, feeling that your reasoning was stupid now that you were about to vocalize it. “i feel like i'm so dependent on you guys. i picked up a few shifts to try and make the money up but it just didn’t happen,” you sigh. 

quinns quiet on the phone and you shift uncomfortably. “you know we don’t care right?” 

“i care!” you huff before putting the call on speaker and laying down on your dorm bed. 

“i’m a millionaire,” quinn states simply. “your schooling is important. you’re not working full-time so you can focus on your studies” 

“i know but i still feel bad…”

quinn sighs, “literally don’t worry about it. nobody feels like you're dependent. you're a university student it’s normal to need help,” 

“okay…” your voice is quiet, and you feel a pang of guilt hit your chest. sometimes you just wish that you didn’t have to ask your brothers or parents for help. 

“i love you y/nny, if you need anything just call” 

“i love you too,” you reply. the siblings stay on the call for a few more minutes, just debriefing on life and the daily dramas. you always know, despite how guilty you may feel, that you’ll always have your brothers if you need help.

[jackhues]

you can miss it - mockingbird! au (platonic! hughes)

requested by: @rowdyhughesy

summary: in which y/n wonders what life could've been like if her parents were better

notes: continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3, this takes place in may/june. 2024

likes are good, reblogs are better &lt;3

mockingbird! au request rules!|| mockingbird au! masterlist

gif not mine

"how about your aunt from colarado?" you asked, going down the list of random hughes members you'd heard of.

"which aunt?" jack responded.

"the one that gifted ellen that green vase," you reminded him. "are we inviting her to the wedding?"

jack thought about it, "i mean, we can invite her. i don't think she'll come honestly. she's like my mom's something cousin, i can't remember."

"we'll at least invite her," you decided, jotting that down on the second list.

you and jack were sitting on the couch in the lake house, trying to get together the final guest list for your wedding. there were still a few months left, and most invites had even gone out. but with so few people coming from your side, there was still space for more of jack's relatives.

"do we have to invite her?" luke asked, sitting on the floor in front of the couch. "she's always complaining and telling me to cut my hair."

"it's her or aunt griselda," quinn told him, leafing through the invites. "take your pic."

luke made a face, "neither is better, but i'll take the green vase lady."

you and jack shivered, remembering 'aunt griselda'. she was just some random neighbour or something who called herself the boys 'aunt', and often pinched their ears. she was not fun.

"wait, do you guys even know the green vase lady's name?" you asked the boys.

luke looked at jack, who looked at quinn, who tilted his head in thought.

"honestly, i have no idea," he realized. "we've always just called her aunt, or that one from colorado."

"well, i guess we're not inviting her," jack took the list from your hands and crossed out 'colorado aunt'.

you sighed, wondering what it would be like to have so many relatives that you didn't even know their names.

after cutting contact with your dad, your mom decided she didn't want to talk to you either. you had a feeling your mom was left no choice by your dad, but sometimes you wished she'd pick you over him.

if you had a better relationship with either of them, then you'd have someone to walk you down the aisle.

you loved jack and his family, truly. they were everything you didn't have growing up. but sometimes, you just wished you could've had that feeling of love your whole life.

you wished that your dad cared about you, that your mom tried harder for you, that they both loved you and showed it.

you dreamed of them being present on this big day, with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes. you dreamed of your dad warning your husband not to hurt you, but then hugging you both and saying he wouldn't trust anyone else with his daughter.

you dreamed to have an uncle who was going to drink more than he should and then flirt with his wife, you dreamed to have cousins who'd be dancing even after the music was off, you dreamed to have little kids who'd hide in your dress and ask you not to leave with your husband.

they were such small things, but it seemed to hit you that you weren't going to have these moments.

all because your parents failed you growing up.

jack nudged you softly, "what's on your mind?"

you looked up, snapping out of it. "nothing."

it wasn't anything. you'd chosen to give up contact, and they'd chosen to pretend you don't exist anymore. you'd accepted that, and you were okay with them not being in your life.

"y/n, you've been a part of this family for years now, and you're going to legally become a part of this one in only a few months," quinn looked up. "even if it's stupid, you can tell us what's on your mind. i assure you, jack and luke have stupider things on their mind at any given moment."

you smiled as luke threw a pillow at quinn, ducking quickly to avoid retaliation.

"i was just being emotional," you shrugged. "like, growing up, i always thought my mom and dad would be here, on my wedding day. i didn't expect much from them, but i imagined them being there and being happy for me. i guess i always dreamed of our relationship becoming better by that point. but now... it's not like i want all of the stress again. it wasn't healthy and i don't regret cutting them out. i just, sometimes i wish they were better parents."

your voice grew soft at the end, but you realized how much better you'd gotten at communicating. before meeting the hughes, you'd often bottled everything up. you never spoke your mind, and you were forced to keep your opinions to yourself.

but now, you were proud at how well you'd explained your rambly thought process to the boys. you wished you'd had the love of parents growing up, but you didn't want them back in your life right now.

quinn smiled a little, tapping your hand in comfort.

"just because they weren't good to you, doesn't mean you're not allowed to wish they had been," he said.

"you're allowed to miss them," jack assured you. "you can miss them, and not want them in your life because of everything they did. there's nothing wrong with that."

"we're always going to support you, y/n/n," luke promised. "whatever you want, whatever you feel. we're here."

you smiled, wiping the corners of your eyes. "you're all so sweet and mushy, you're making me cry. oh god, i'm going to end up ruining my makeup on my wedding day because of you three."

"there's still months until that," luke waved it off. "we'll be sure to be even more sweet and mushy and get all the tears out before the wedding day."

"god, i love you three idiots."

---

tags:

@svechnikovvv , @hockeyboysarehot , @mysticaldonkey , @lam-ila , @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @moldenhauers , @hischierdevils , @jackhughesily , @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @hischierhaze , @cinnamonpancakes , @luvmmarner , @lifeofpriya , @marshmallow-babe , @starsandhughes , @thatoneblog , @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94 , @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj , @fandom-oneshots-etc , @ajbird18 , @cherrysodadevils , @cixrosie , @xcicix , @wbkz3gras , @cole-mcward48 , @idontlikelizards , @bitchy55 , @privatemythss , @shaysucksatlife , @dancerbailey3

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[nycbaby21]

A Kiss on the Cheek

prompt: meeting the Hughes family doesn't go as good as either of you hope (angsty)

word count: 4,331

*It hurt me to make them all mean and to write this*

“Would you stop fidgeting? It’s going to be fine baby. They are gonna like you, trust me,” Quinn’s voice interrupts my anxious thoughts about meeting his family. I look down and notice I am picking at my fingers, so I put my hands face down on my lap. I glance over at Quinn who is concentrating on driving, I honestly wonder how I got so lucky to be with him. We met at the sports bar I worked at in Vancouver. The team walked in to celebrate a win, and Quinn walked out with my phone number. I didn’t even know who he was, or what he did for a living until our third date.

“Sorry,” I mumble quietly. My nerves are through the roof right now. The Hughes family, especially the brothers, are one of the closest families I have ever seen. I know that Quinn values their opinion more than anything else. He once called Jack and Luke to weigh in on the new couch he was buying. “Hey would you look at me please,” he says stopping at the stop sign. I look over and he smiles at me.

“You know after you stop you can go right,” I laugh trying to get out of this conversation. “Really? I had no clue. Good thing I have you to keep me informed,” he joked rolling his eyes at me. He reaches across the console, grabs one of my hands, and brings it to his lips. “Y/n, I wish you could see yourself the way I do. You are literally the best thing that has ever happened to me,” he says sweetly looking over with loving eyes. “Even more than hockey,” I ask raising an eyebrow, joking with him now. “Okay second best,” he says and I slap his chest playfully.

“Thank you, Quinny,” I say leaning over and kissing his cheek. “You don’t have to thank me, baby. But if you wanted to, I think I need a little more than a kiss on the cheek,” he says leaning towards me a connecting our lips. I smile into the kiss and can’t help but fall more in love with Quinn Hughes. We hadn’t said that out loud yet, but I knew how I felt about him. A horn honking snaps us apart. He laughs and drives forward while I sink into my seat embarrassed.

We pull up to his parent’s house he turns off the car. He had already unbuckled and opened his door before I even made the first move. He walks around the car, leans over gently unbuckles my seatbelt, and opens my door. He puts his hand out for me to grab as he pulls me out of the car. I smile up at him and he leans down giving me one more reassuring kiss. We break apart and I notice people watching us from the window.

“Hey, if you are uncomfortable at any time you’ll tell me, right? Because they can be a lot and I think some of Jack’s friends are here. If they say anything I’ll kick their ass okay,” he adds the last part trying to make me smile. I give him a closed-lip smile and lace our fingers together as we walk up to the door. Before he can even open the door, it is flung open, and a brunette boy a little taller than Quinn, who I know is Jack, launches himself on my boyfriend. I smile at just how close they actually are.

“Okay, Jack enough. Let him come in okay,” I hear a female voice come from further in the house. Quinn ushers me inside first and follows closing the door. We shed our jackets and I finally turn a see a room full of people staring at me. I give them a shy smile and feel my legs turning into jello. “Everyone this is Y/n. Y/n this is my mom and dad, Ellen and Jim. And over there is Luke, Trevor, Alex, and Cole. And of course Jack,” Quinn says pointing everyone out to me. I give a quick nod already knowing their names from studying them on the way here.

“It’s so nice to meet all of you. Quinn has told me all about you. And thank you for inviting me into your house,” I say turning to face his parents. His dad gives me a small smile and reaches forward to shake my hand. His mom stared at me for a second and then ran to the kitchen after hearing a beep. I shrugged it off, thinking I was just being sensitive and overthinking everything. After everyone greeted Quinn, he moved over to the couch and I quickly followed suit. 

The guys were playing some video game on the tv and Quinn was quickly sucked into it. I tried to keep up but I had no idea what they were talking about. I just sat back and nodded or looked up at the screen trying to follow. “You wanna try,” Jack asks pushing the controller towards me. I open my mouth to say no thank you but before I can Luke interrupts,” She can try later okay? I really wanna beat this before Quinn has to go. No offense or anything to you.” I brush it off and nod saying it was fine. Jack looked over and gave me a sorry look. The guys were so into the game, that no one noticed I had gotten up and followed the sound of voices to the kitchen. I was going to offer to help with dinner, but I stopped in my tracks after actually hearing what they were saying.

“El, come on you can’t already hate the girl. They just got here,” Jim whispers to his wife. Ellen didn’t even try to lower her voice. “Jim I don’t hate her. I’m just saying I want the very best for Quinn and I just don’t think that’s her,” she says walking around the kitchen. “Sweetheart. We don’t even know her yet. I mean I loved Ex/n just as much as you did, but that doesn’t mean we can cast this girl off,” he says following his wife from the kitchen to the dining room.

“How do you know she isn’t just using him for money, Jim? I mean we know nothing about this girl. Nothing. Quinn used to talk all the time about Ex/n. He has only ever mentioned this girl once. And that was to tell me she was coming for the weekend with him.” My eyes filled to the brim with tears and I had heard enough. I understood how they were still close with his ex. His mom still followed her and commented on her things. They were together a long time so I completely got that. But hearing that he didn’t talk about me like I did him to my mom hurt. Also, I felt like I wasn’t even getting a fair chance.

As I turned around to go back to Quinn I bumped into Jack. My eyes go wide and I glance at the kitchen. He gave me a look filled with pity and I knew that he had heard the whole thing. He went to open his mouth to say something when I cut him off,” Jack hey, didn’t see you there. I was just heading back.” We both knew I was lying but he chose not to say anything and followed me back into the living room. “Hey, baby. Where did you go? I didn’t even notice you were gone,” Quinn says looking over to me.

“Sorry, I just had to call Mom and let her know we made it. You know how she gets,” I laugh and out of the corner of my eye, I see Jack look our way. I cut him a look pleading him not to say anything. He sighs but nods and turns his attention back to the game. When I turn I see Trevor and Luke staring between me and Jack. I tried to ignore it and curled into Quinn’s side. I started picking at my fingers again, this time Quinn didn’t notice.

As we all sit down for dinner my stomach drops to the floor. In the big bowl in the center of the table was a shrimp alfredo dish. I have a small seafood allergy and couldn’t eat what she had cooked. I already felt awful from the words I heard from the kitchen earlier, so now how would they feel when I didn’t eat? Quinn hands me a plate and smiles down at me before fixing his own. I sign and tell him thank you. I pushed the food around and ate some of the noodles here and there when someone would look my way. My throat would be scratchy later but nothing too serious would happen from just a couple bites.

“So how did the two of you meet,” Jim asks breaking the awkward silence at the table. All eyes are on Quinn and I,” we meet at the bar she works at.” I know I shouldn’t feel ashamed about what I do for work, I really enjoyed it. But something about sitting at a table full of professional hockey players, future professional hockey players, and their parents made me feel so self-conscious. “You work at a bar,” Cole asked looking my way. I knew he didn’t mean it the way I took it but it made my face flush. “Yeah, I wait tables at this sports bar in downtown Vancouver,” I finally say after drinking almost my whole glass of water.

“The guys and I went out one night after a game to this new bar near the arena. Y/n was our server for the night,” Quinn said proudly putting his hand on the top of the table. “I’m working on my degree so I work at the bar at night to help pay for school,” I say hoping that would give me some brownie points. I guess that was enough because the conversation was quickly changed and never revisited. “Oh Quinny did you see that Ex/n got that role in the movie,” Ellen asked excitedly. I tensed up and tried to distract myself. I felt a small nudge under the table and looked across to see Jack. He sends me a smile and I return it. At least one of them liked me, or he just pitied me.

“Oh yeah, I did. She called me after she found out. Said the only reason she got it was because of all the practicing I helped her do for it,” my boyfriend explained to his mom. She let out the biggest smile and it made my already broken heart completely shatter. Quinn hadn’t told me that they had talked. “Oh, I would love to talk to her,” his mom gushed. I sat in my chair rethinking and overanalyzing every little detail of our relationship. I knew I was going to cry and didn’t need anyone to see. “Hey, I’m gonna run to the bathroom real quick,” I whisper to Quinn, who just nods and keeps talking to Luke about something.

I head down the hall looking for a bathroom when a voice from behind me scared me. “You can use the one in my room if you want,” Jack said and I let out a deep breath knowing it was him. I smiled and followed him to his room. By the time I made it to the door, the floodgates opened. I quickly shut the door and locked it. I sat on the floor and cried trying to keep myself quiet. I heard some ruffling outside the door and noticed a shadow on the other side. “I know this is a dumb question, but are you okay,” Jack asks through the door. “Yeah I’m fine,” I sniffle trying to pull myself together. “I can go grab Quinn if you want,” he started but I interrupted him. “Please don’t,” I said louder than I realized.

“Okay okay, I won’t. Is there anything I can do,” he was being really nice to me and I wondered why the rest of them didn’t. “No. I promise I’m fine. I’m just super emotional. It’ll pass,” I croak out my throat already getting irritated from the small amount of food I ate. “There is a cup next to the sink I use to rinse my mouth, I know it’s weird because you don’t know me. But you should fill it up and drink something your voice sounds shaky,” he says with a slight worry in his voice. I leaned over and unlocked the door. I see the middle Hughes brother leaning against the wall. 

“It’s not from the crying. Well that probably isn’t helping, but I actually have a small seafood allergy,” I say hating the look he gives me. “Why the hell did you eat then,” he raises his voice and I quickly shushed him. “Keep your voice down, please. You heard them in the kitchen earlier, I didn’t wanna give them another reason to hate me. So I ate it. I’m not gonna die or anything. My throat is just scratchy and my eyes are puffy,” I say leaning back against the bathroom cabinet.

Jack crawls into the bathroom and sits opposite me leaning against the bathtub. “I’m really sorry about my parents,” he says after some time. “It’s okay,” I reply automatically. “No, it’s not. I know how bad it sucks trying to prove to someone you are worth it. I went through that and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. So no it is not okay,” he was very different than I imagined him. From Quinn’s stories, he was this goofy energetic guy who couldn’t sit still, but he was being so calm and serious right now. “Yeah I guess you’re right,” I whisper. “Are you gonna tell Quinn,” I ask looking up at him. He looks back at me conflicted. “I won’t tell him tonight. But if you haven’t by tomorrow I will.” The deadline he had given me made me sick to my stomach.

I stand up and splash cold water on my face. I try and make myself look somewhat presentable and turn around to see Jack leaning against the doorframe. “Thank you, Jack. It really made me feel better,” I say and he pulls me into a hug. I hear footsteps walking away from us and jump away from him. “Oh no,” I say rushing out of the door towards the hall. I make it to the kitchen just in time to see Luke telling Quinn what he just saw.

In his defense, it probably did look bad, but maybe if he had actually stopped for two seconds he would have known. “What the hell,” Quinn stands up from the couch and looks my way. By that time Jack had walked in and looked around the room. “Quinn? Are you still there,” I hear a voice coming from his phone and this time I don’t try and hide the tears. I knew who it was, I made myself watch all of her movies one night. “Hold on sweetie he’ll call you back,” Ellen says and hangs up the phone. 

“You wanna say something or just stand there,” I have never heard him this mad. “Her say something? Quinn why don’t you say something,” Jack says walking forward and standing even with me. Quinn’s eyes shoot between the two of us and his nostrils flare. He was angry, and he had every right to be. But if he had every right, so did I. ”I’m sorry what the hell does that mean? Because from this side of the couch, it looks a lot like my girlfriend is all over my brother,” his words are laced with venom. Jim stands up and puts himself between the boys. “Quinn nothing is going on! Jack was just comforting me,” I say with a rough voice.

“Sure sounds like something happened,” he says face red with anger. I step back a step away from him, which only upset him more. “We have seen you all night looking at Jack. And every time he goes somewhere you go to,” Luke says defending one brother while glaring at the other one. “Unless you can give me the truth about what happened, I think maybe you should go,” his words pierce my heart like an arrow. “What,” I ask tears falling down my face at this point. 

“The truth Y/n. And if you lie to me we are through,” he says stone-faced. I shake my head not even believing what is happening right now. I hoped all of this was some nightmare I was about to wake up from. “You honestly think I would come into your parent’s house and try and get with your little brother,” I ask not caring how rude I sounded. “Unless you give me a reason to think otherwise yes.” I shake my head and grab my jacket from the rack. “Where the hell do you think you’re going,” he asks following me. “You said leave so I am.” I opened the door and walked out not bothering to shut it. 

The cold night air sent chills down my spine, but I think I would rather freeze than be inside that house any longer. The part that put the final nail in the coffin was that he let me walk out and he didn’t try to stop me. It was dark and I had no idea where I was. I reached in my pocket for my phone and I realized it was left on the table. “Fuck,” I let out all my emotions. I remembered a small diner not too far away so I started walking. I didn’t stop until I got there and noticed an older man locking the doors. “Excuse me are you closing,” I ask tears streaming down my face. He looks up at me and his eyes widen. I must look terrible and scare him.

“Eugene, honey grab my sweater from the truck please,” I hear a feminine voice come behind me. A nice older lady put her hand on the small of my back and ushered me into the building. “If you are closed I can leave,” I try and walk out but her grip is strong for an old lady. “Sweetheart there is no way I am leaving you outside in all of this,” she says sternly and leads me to a stool at the bartop. She quickly walks towards the back and I hear her clattering around. I feel something on my shoulders and see Eugene wrapping her sweater around me. I send him a sweet smile and his wife is back with three cups of hot chocolate.

“Alright sweetie get to talking,” she says patting my arm. I look between the two of them and sigh. I tell them the whole story, from meeting Quinn in Vancouver to tonight. They never once interrupted or made me feel like a burden for dumping my problems on them. “Here let me get these dishes and we can take you to a motel for the night and figure out the rest tomorrow,” Eugene says gathering up the cups and walking to the kitchen. Martha, his wife, put her hand on top of mine and smiled at me. “I’m sorry all this happened to you. Michigan really is a wonderful place. I hate your visit wasn’t,” she said. As they close up shop for the second time tonight, I wait for them outside their truck. Everything in me said don’t get in with them, but what else could I do? My thoughts are shut down when I hear someone yelling my name.

“Y/n, oh my gosh. I’m so glad I found you. You scared the shit out of me. Please don’t ever do that again,” Quinn rushes towards me wrapping me in his arms. I let him for a second and then I push him off. He looks at me and I can tell he has been crying. I hear a door shut and see Jack get out of the car and walk over. “Who are you two,” Eugen says walking over and putting himself in front of me. Martha pulled me into a hug, noticing I was crying again. “I’m her boyfriend Quinn. Who are you,” his voice is mixed with confusion and anger. Who the hell was this guy trying to “protect” you from him?

“Last time I checked I didn’t have one of those,” I say staring him dead in the eyes. His whole face dropped. Jack stayed a little ways back and watched everything go down. “Baby, please don’t say that. You don’t mean it,” Quinn says stepping closer. Eugene slides over blocking me once again. I step out of Martha’s embrace and put my arm on Eugene’s shoulder. He looked down at me and I nodded my head at him. The two older people step back and lean against their truck watching the whole thing. I walked towards the man I loved and frowned. 

He took my actions as forgiveness and opened his arms. “No Quinn, I do mean it. You can’t actually believe after everything that just happened, I was just gonna jump in your arms and we ride off in the sunset?” He closed his arms and his body shook from the sob that left his mouth. “I will never ever be able to apologize enough for tonight. And I don’t think you should forgive me,” he says through tears. Seeing him like this hurt me, but he hurt me more. “Jack told me everything,” that was all he had to say. I looked behind him at the younger boy and he nodded.

“So you believe him? But not me,” I whisper barely being able to talk. “Y/n/n, please.” I shake my head. “Please what Quinn? I don’t know what you want from me,” I scream back frustrated. Jack walks forward and stands between us. I felt like shit putting him in the middle of us. “Please don’t leave me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I know I hurt you more tonight than I have ever hurt anyone else. I know that if you tell me to right now I will walk away,” he started,” but you know what else I know? I know that I have never been happier than I have in the past months with you. I know that I screwed up my chance at happiness tonight. And I also know that I may just lose the girl I love because of my own stupidity.”

After his speech, he just dropped to the ground and cried. I look away from him and to Eugene and Martha. Then I look over at Jack, who is already staring at me. “You love me,” I ask squatting down in front of him. He picks his head up and looks me in the eye. “Of course I do, I just have the shittest way of showing it I guess,” he says and a small laugh leaves my lips. His face perks up at that. “I love you too,” I say wiping the tears away from his eyes. He grabs my wrist and holds them in place. He seemed scared that I would disappear if he let go. He closed his eyes and finally took a normal breath.

“I don’t deserve it,” he says opening his eyes and looking over at me. “You know the funny thing, Hughes, you don’t get to decide that,” I say dropping down to my knees and moving my arms around his neck. He doesn’t wait another second and his are around my waist. He holds me tighter than he ever has before. “I am gonna spend every day for the rest of my life making up for the way I treated you tonight,” he says into my hair. “I know you will. You are a good man, Quinn, I think we just both got a little insecure tonight,” I say back. He nods and holds me while we sit on the ground outside the diner in the freezing air.

When we got back to the house I figured everyone was asleep. I followed Jack inside and saw everyone sitting on the couches with worried looks. Their heads snap up when they hear us walk in. “Oh thank the lord,” Ellen says rushing over. She stopped right before she got to me and looked at me. I nodded my head and she wrapped me up in her arms. “I am so sorry for the way I treated you tonight. I judged you before I even knew you and almost ruined everything,” she cried and I shook my head. “It’s gonna be all right. We can start over,” I say and she pulls back. “I would really like that,” she says wiping some tears from her face. Slowly everyone started going to bed and it was just Quinn and me.

“I waited until I was with you to do this,” he says as I get in bed next to him. I look over and he pulls out his phone and blocks his ex on everything, and then her number. “Quinn you didn’t,” he cut me off. “Yes, I did. I am a happily taken man who doesn’t need any contact with my ex,” he says looking down at me. I smile and give him a small kiss on the cheek. “I never thought I would be so happy for a kiss on the cheek in my life,” he said making me laugh. “Baby steps, Quinn,” I say laying my head on his chest. I knew we would have to have a longer talk, and that everything wasn’t going to be fixed immediately. Things were gonna take time, but I knew Quinn was worth it.

[starry-hughes]

baby please come home

quinn hughes x reader, daisy's au

summary: quinn and you get into a fight and he leaves for the night and daisy isn't happy when her dad isn't around.

warnings: angst angst angst, fight, talk of a toxic relationship with parents, toxic parents, mention of a miscarriage, quinn is a bit of a dick, crying (so much crying), daisy just wants her dad, inspired by this anon

au masterlist

You and Quinn didn’t fight. This is why it was so surprising to Brock when Quinn knocked on his door, a duffle bag in hand. “Where are the girls?” Brock asked, not seeing you or Daisy trailing behind Quinn. It was late, way past Daisy’s bedtime. Brock had only received a text from Quinn asking if he could spend the night, but Brock assumed that it would include you and Daisy. 

“At home.” 

Quinn’s blunt response and aversion to answering Brock’s questions made it obvious that something was wrong. “Well, do you want to talk about it?” Brock asked as Quinn made his way to the guest bedroom. “We got into a fight, and I couldn’t be there any longer.” 

Silently, you washed Daisy’s bottles at the kitchen sink. You took a second to wipe your nose, snot still dripping from your crying. You were trying to convince yourself that Quinn wasn’t going to come home and demand you and Daisy leave his apartment. Hands shaking, you turned off the sink water. The words exchanged between Quinn and you during the fight replaying in your head. 

Quinn had been begging you not to rekindle a relationship with your parents. They weren’t exactly supportive during your pregnancy and had pretty much disowned you. Quinn didn’t understand why you would even want to have any more contact with your family, but you felt like he didn’t understand. 

“How many times during your pregnancy did I hold you because you were crying because your parents ignored your messages? Or how you asked me to keep them out of the hospital room? Or when they didn’t even bother to show up when you had the miscarriage scare?” Quinn asked. The two of you were standing in the kitchen, trying to speak in hushed voices, not wanting to wake up Daisy. “You don’t understand! You’re so fucking lucky with your parents and your brothers, your teammates, and your fucking endless supply of money! You don’t understand how alone I feel sometimes! I need my mom sometimes like Daisy needs me!” you tried to explain. 

“Am I not enough?” he stuttered. “Quinn, you aren’t listening. I didn’t say that. It’s just that it’s hard, okay? I just miss my family,” you said lowly. “The family that treated you like shit?” he snapped back at you. “Stop! Just stop! I’m done fighting!” you shouted. 

Quinn simply nodded, walking away from you and down the hall to your now-shared bedroom. “Where are you going?” you asked as he grabbed his duffle bag from the closet. He usually used the bag for when he was leaving on trips. “I’m not staying here. I’m not going sit and watch you make dumb decisions,” Quinn spoke while shoving clothes into his bag. 

Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you dialed your mom’s number. You hadn’t seen or talked to them since you were pregnant. When she didn’t answer, you chalked it up to be because it was late. But that reasoning faded away when she texted you not to contact her. Quinn was right, they didn’t care. 

You cried yourself to sleep that night. Sleeping without Quinn and knowing he was sleeping somewhere else was killing you. Daisy was fine throughout the night, only waking up to be fed and have her diaper changed. It was in the morning when everything went sour. Daisy was a baby, but she had a small understanding that when Quinn was leaving for trips, he would tell her goodbye and never leave her guessing where he was. But that didn’t happen last night, and it wasn’t him coming to get her from the crib in the morning when she was crying. 

Daisy refused her bottle, a pacifier, music, and being rocked. Nothing was working. Just crying out for Quinn. It took you an hour of her crying and you trying different methods of trying to get her to stop before you realized that she was crying out for her dad. 

Quinn and Brock were sitting on Brock’s couch, playing video games. Brock didn’t necessarily agree with Quinn’s decision to leave you and Daisy for the night, but it wasn’t his business. Quinn had felt his phone buzzing with a call, but he ignored it when he realized it was your contact calling. 

Daisy was still crying when you started calling Quinn’s friends. You had tried calling Quinn twelve times, and he ignored all twelve of the calls. Choking back sobs when Elias answered your call, saying that Quinn wasn’t there at his place. It was nearing two hours of Daisy crying when you called Brock. 

Brock answered his phone. Quinn only got Brock’s half of the conversation. He wasn’t able to hear you on the other side of the line, sobbing. “Hey. Are you okay?” Brock said. Brock threw a glance at Quinn, “Yeah, he’s next to me. He’s here (Y/N).” 

Quinn realized it was you on the other side of the phone. “Calm down. What’s wrong?” Brock asked, and Quinn was sitting up worriedly. “And nothing has worked?” Brock repeated. “Okay, okay. I’ll tell him. If anything, I’ll come over there.” 

Brock placed down his phone and stared at Quinn. “Daisy isn’t taking her bottle, won’t eat, won’t take a pacifier, (Y/N) needs you.” 

Quinn felt like he was moving fast as he grabbed his bag of items and made his way to the door. “Quinn, you shouldn’t have left her there with an infant, don’t pull this shit again,” Brock stopped Quinn briefly. “I know,” Quinn shamefully admitted. 

You were sitting on Quinn’s side of the bed, tears rolling down your face as you continued to try and calm Daisy down. Quinn opened the front door, and seeing the state that the apartment was in made him feel worse. Toys scattered around the living room, unfinished bottles on the kitchen counter, and Daisy’s cries made Quinn feel horrible. 

You didn’t even realize Quinn was in the room until he was bent down in front of you. “(Y/N), sweetheart, I’m going to take Daisy, okay?” Quinn started to move her from your arms. “I can’t take care of my own daughter Quinn,” you whispered as Daisy’s cries began to subside when she realized Quinn was holding her. 

“You’re a good mom, I promise.” 

Quinn let you sit there, taking Daisy out to the living room and grabbing a bottle. He sat on the couch and winced, hearing you crying from down the hall. He couldn’t think of how to apologize for leaving you alone with Daisy, ignoring your calls when his daughter needed him. 

You quietly made your way out to the living room after a couple of minutes, seeing Daisy taking her bottle in Quinn’s arms. Quinn noticed your tear-stained face as you sat next to him on the couch. You silently let yourself curl into his side, watching as Daisy happily took her bottle, half asleep, probably exhausted from crying so much. Once she drifted off to sleep, Quinn removed the bottle from her mouth, letting his now free arm wrap around you. 

“You were right about my parents,” you said, voice hoarse. Quinn felt another wave of guilt wash over him. “I tried to call them last night, and they told me they don’t want to have contact with me,” you explained. “Please don’t leave Daisy and me again, don’t leave me like my parents Quinn. I can’t handle that again. I feel like a shit mom, I can't even take care of our daughter. Please don't leave us,” you sat up to look him in the eyes, lip wobbling. 

“I’m not leaving like that again. I promise. I’m sorry.”

[bluejay-the-geek]

DC characters/moments as Tortured Poets Department songs/lyrics bc i have a light concussion and am very bored (in the album's chronological order)

(disclaimer before someone is triggered- some of the lyrics are taken out of context or interpreted differently than what they actually mean. this is just for fun don't come for me. also this gets pretty angsty towards the end so proceed with caution)

"I was supposed to be sent away, But they forgot to come and get me"- tim drake very obviously bc neglecting parents/boarding school

"I love you, it's ruining my life"- early harleen quinzel about joker

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys"- the whole song is just harley quinn idc (pre-harlivy of course)

"Now I'm down bad, cryin' at the gym"- nightwing def cried at the gym at some point

"I stopped tryna make him laugh, stopped tryna drill the safe"- dick grayson about bruce after moving out of wayne manor

"You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? I died on the altar waitin' for the proof, You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days"- remember the whole selena leaving bruce at the alter thing? yeah

"I'd rather burn my whole life down, Than listen to one more second of all this bitchin' and moanin', I'll tell you something 'bout my good name, It's mine alone to disgrace"- I'm just getting red hood vibes from this no specific reason

"Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you, Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to"- almost every gotham rouge to batman right after escaping arkham/prison. especially joker, catwoman and riddler lol

"At the park where we used to sit on children's swings, Wearing imaginary rings"- this one specific panel of tim and steph

"And this city reeks of driving myself crazy"- everyone who's ever been to gotham

"All my girls got their lace and their crimes, And your cheating husband disappeared, well, No one asks any questions here"- it's giving gotham city sirens

"Am I allowed to cry?"- maybe it's just me but i thought about clark kent discovering he had different biological parents and grieving about them even though the parents that actually raised him are alive and well

"So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street, Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream, "Who's afraid of little old me?", You should be" red hood's debut

"The scandal was contained, The bullet had just grazed, At all costs, keep your good name, You don't get to tell me you feel bad"- jason todd about the whole making batman choose between him and joker at the end of under the red hood

"You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me"- this is 100% Bane bc he was born and grew up in prison for a crime he didn't even do!! also cassandra cain and damian wayne

(^this is actually the lyric that inspired this entire post lol)

"You caged me and then you called me crazy, I am what I am 'cause you trained me, So who's afraid of me? Who's afraid of little old me?"- kind of a stretch but remember that time they put jason in arkham?

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)- again the whole song is harley about joker

"Your arson's match, your somber eyes, And I'll still see it until I die, You're the loss of my life"- bruce about jason. out of all the robins that died, jason's death hit him the hardest. even now when bruce sees red hood, he still sees that happy little kid that he lost

"I can read your mind, "She's having the time of her life", There in her glittering prime, The lights refract sequin stars off her silhouette every night, I can show you lies"- bc we all know Nightwing is always dying on the inside, and it was very true in the discowing era bc it was right after he left the manor

"'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit"- jason pre-bruce

"I'm so obsessed with him, but he avoids me like the plague"- ok so we got joker about batman, cupid about green arrow, hush about bruce wayne... and a bunch of others but it's too many to write lol

"And you deserve prison, but you won't get time"- fucking tarantula that bitch

"The smallest man who ever lived"- the atom! not any of the messages in the song tho ofc he's just very small

"What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, Worst sleep that I ever had, I circled you on a map ,I haven't come around in so long, But I'm coming back so strong"- joker to batman after escaping arkham again

"I haven't come around in so long, But I'm making a comeback to where I belong"- jason coming back to protect crime alley after being away from gotham for years after his resurrection

"Even if it's handcuffed, I'm leavin' here with you"- batman and catwoman<3

I Hate It Here- imagine the whole song as homeless jason todd taking shelter in the library💔

"I built a legacy that you can't undo, But when I count the scars, there's a moment of truth, That there wouldn't be this if there hadn't been you"- bruce built a legacy as batman, and created a huge family he loves, and it hurts to think about but he wouldn't have any of it if joe chill hadn't murdered his parents

"Please, I've been on my knees, Change the prophecy, Don't want money, Just someone who wants my company"- kid bruce grew up all alone in a huge mansion, but he'd give all his billions away in a heartbeat if he could change his parent's fate

"So, they killed Cassandra first 'cause she feared the worst"- ok so you might think i chose cassandra cain for this only bc of the name, BUT- cass notices things others don't (like cassandra the prophet...), bc of her skills and abilities she is feared the most (Ik the song said "she feared" not "she is feared" but idc lol). like if someone knew so much about you just by looking you'd think she's some kind of a witch too

Peter- picture this: jason had a childhood friend back at crime alley. he left to live in wayne manor and become robin, and said goodbye to his old friend, promising they'd reunite again in the future. 3 years pass and his friend reads an article about jason's death. now listen to the song and try not to cry (if someone writes that fic send me the link IMMEDIATELY this has been haunting me) here's the link to the song with lyrics bc ik you're too lazy to look it up. also jason's middle name is peter:)

"Splendidly selfish, charmingly helpless, Excellent fun 'til you get to know her"- brucie wayne vs batman

"Started with a kiss, "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" But it always ends up with a town car speeding, Out the drive one evening"- catwoman and batman of course<3 the town car is the batmobile speeding out the batcave to catch catwoman (to arrest her or make out with her? probs both)

Robin- ofc we have to go robins for robin! imo that's bruce to dick and jason's robins, and dick to damian when he was his robin. dick and jason- despite the hard times they went through that led to them becoming robins, they were still mostly happy curious kids that run around covered in mud while bruce tried (unsuccessfully) to maintain the innocence they had left. as for damian- it's more of a stretch than the other 2 bc he had no childlike innocence before robin, but dick tried his hardest to extract the child that was hidden inside the ruthless assassin the league created, finally allowing him to experience normal kid things. idk

"He said, "I'm not a donor but, I'd give you my heart if you needed it", She rolled her eyes and said, "You're a professional""-to me this is clark kent completely in love and lois with her sass

"And at last, She knew what the agony had been for"- almost every hero. they suffer, they sacrifice, they fight, and sometimes they want to give up- but at the end of the day, they save lives, so it's all worth it

and that's it folks! feel free to add more/share your insights!!

sorry for any spelling/grammer mistakes, English isn't my first language plus like the title said i had a minor head injury a few days ago and I'm tired soI'm not proofreading this bc I'm going to sleep rn goodnight to all✌️

[letsgetrowdy43]

Since Hayden is a “bicon”😭 would you ever write something about her telling Quinn and honey?

I might do a little longer fic on it but Hayden definitely comes to the realization young, and it's never really something talked about just something she knew her parents would fully support her for and never something she should be ashamed of!!

She tells them the summer she turns 16 which is also the summer she starts dating Trevor's oldest daughter (who is a few months younger than her). She had always been very headstrong and confident but her fully addressing this and sharing this part of herself with Honey and Quinn definitely scared her a little just cause she knows her parents are supportive, but there's always a “what if”

It's something she just very casually drops on them while they are out doing something just the three of them, she looks really nervous and unsure of herself which is so unlike her and Honey just asks what's wrong and is like “Are you okay, you seem upset?”

Hayden just blurts out “I'm gay” and there is a second of silence before Quinn and Honey are like “Thank you for sharing that with us, we love and support you no matter what” and Hayden just starts crying.

She is sobbing into her hands while her parents just stare at her wide-eyed cause they thought they said the right thing and now they are scared they upset her, and she just starts hugging them and saying thank you cause now she can fully be herself around her parents and family without feeling like she's hiding a little piece of her being.

They talk a little bit more, calm her down and tell her that they will always love her and be proud of her no matter her identity or sexuality and that they just want her to be comfortable in herself 100% of the time.

And finally, Honey is like “Soooo any girls???” and Hayden just laughs and tells her parents that she started seeing Trevor’s daughter and Quinn’s face just drops because he seemingly cannot seem to get rid of the pain in his ass that is Trevor Zegras.

-

-

-

[yankstrash]

Hi!

Quinn Hughes telling his family that him and you are expecting a baby and Ellen is like “it’s going to ruin your career” and is very disappointed! I’m just craving for some angst

request for anon :) i hope you like it !!!!

"You're WHAT?!" Ellen's voice boomed through the apartment, and not in an excited tone. That was definitely not the response you were expecting or hoping for from your mother in law as you just told her you were pregnant.

Ellen and Jim were in town for the Devils/Canucks game, and were staying with you and Quinn. You thought this would be the perfect time to tell them you and Quinn just found out you were having a baby. Guess not.

"Mom!" Quinn said back, disappointment evident in his voice. "What?! You're 23 years old, Y/N is 21, and your career is just getting started. How do you expect to raise a child with so much going on!" Ellen argued back.

You and Quinn knew it would be hard, but you were willing to work through it. The two of you have been talking about kids since you first started dating, and now that it's actually happening it felt like a dream. Apparently not for some people though.

"We're going to be just fine. You're supposed to be happy for us and support us!" Quinn said. You wanted to speak up too, but you were honestly shocked at Ellen's reaction. The two of you have been close ever since you met Quinn, and you always looked forward to the day you got to tell her you'd be giving her a grandchild.

Ellen sighed and took a few seconds to collect herself before speaking again. "I love you, and I love Y/N, but this was not the right time for a child. It's going to ruin your career." She said, much more calm, but it almost hurt worse hearing those words than any other words she had said previously.

You couldn't stand it anymore. You turned and hurried off to you and Quinns shared bedroom, slamming the door once you were inside. You threw yourself on your bed as tears streamed down your face. You were so upset by Ellen's reaction to your pregnancy. Gosh, if this is how she reacted, what will YOUR parents say?

The thought of that gave you even more anxiety, and you began to cry harder. Within seconds, you heard the bedroom door open and close gently.

"Baby?" Quinn said. You responded to him with choked sobs. He sat down next to where you were laying on the bed and began to rub your back. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry sweetheart. I cannot believe she reacted that way, I am furious." He said.

You didn't know if that made you feel any better. If anything, it may have made you feel worse. You hated the idea of driving a wedge between Quinn and his mom, whom he loved very much. They were so close, and the thought of them growing apart because of you killed you.

"It's okay, it just shocked me. I really thought she would be thrilled." You said, rolling over to face him. "She'll come around, I promise." He said caressing your cheek.

You could only hope Quinn was right. You didn't know how you were going to do this without Ellen by your side.

[stephstars08]

Still Alive ~ Chapter Four

Ethan Landry x Reader

Warnings: Murder, Violence, Weapons, Adult Language, Parent Issues, Nightmares, Trauma, Death Threats, Angst, A tiny bit of Fluff, Blood, Ghostface Attack, and Stabbing. (Sorry if I forgot any!)

Word Count: 2,540

Author’s Note: Hello Again Everyone! Happy to say that this chapter is finally when the action starts to begin!!! I wanted to tell you all now that I am currently writing another scream fanfic however this is in a universe where there is no ghostface! It takes place in high school. It’s based off the song called Teenage Dirtbag. It’s a Ethan x Reader story again. I will say it won’t be ready to post for a while since I’ve got a lot going on in my personally life so my writing process is slowed at the moment. I have a Jack Champion one shot in mind that includes some of the Avatar cast. I do want to write some Avatar stories as well which I know will be a challenge that I’m up for! Anyways, thank you to the ones who are reading this and the story! I hope you enjoy this chapter and next chapter will be posted Sunday!

When Chad brought Sam into the apartment Y/N was sitting with Ethan on the chair while Quinn was sitting on the couch with Mindy and Anika. Tara was sitting on a different chair by herself. Everyone had a worried gaze on the TV. A guy who lives downstairs followed Sam which Quinn noticed right away. “Cute boy. Nice!” Quinn said to Sam with a nod of her head. “What’s going on?” Sam asked with worry in her tone. Chad just pointed at the television.

 “I’m standing in front of the apartment building where the mutilated bodies were found.” The reporter said. Everyone in the room had their eyes glued to the screen. “Their names have been released by the police. Jason Carvey, and Greg-.” The reporter said but before the group could listen to the last name of the other victim Mindy spoke.  “Holy shit, that’s that chod from our film studies class! The one obsessed with Orchento.” Mindy said to Tara in a surprised tone. “Also found at the scene were various Ghostface costumes, the character popularized by the ‘Stab’ movie franchise.” The reporter said.

 Y/N felt her whole-body tense up. She quickly thought back to the party. That guy who was dressed as Ghostface. Could that have been one of them? Did they go and kill those guys and head right to the party acting like it was nothing? She jumped a little when she felt an arm wrap around her shoulders but quickly relaxed when she realized it was just Ethan. He gave her a comforting smile which helped her relax. She returned the smile but also felt a strong glare on them. When she looked over, she noticed it was Quinn looking at them with a glare. When their eyes met Quinn looked away and back to the television. Y/N is close to everyone in this room but Quinn. She feels like Quinn has a huge problem with her and she has no idea why.

 “Pack a bag, we leave in ten.” Sam told Tara in a stern tone and walked out of the room. “Sam! Wait, Sam!” Tara called out as she quickly stood up. “We’re getting out of the city.” Sam called out from the kitchen. “What?” Cute boy said with a mixture of confusion and concern in his tone. “Thank you, very much suspicious new guy, but I think we can handle it from here. Have a good night, get home safe.” Chad said as he pushed the guy out of the apartment and shut the door.

 Tara called out to Sam again. Sam grabbed a knife and walked back into the living room. “Sam wh-what, hold on.” Tara said with panic in her tone because of her sister holding a huge kitchen knife. “Come on.” Sam said to her, acting all calm. “Hold on, wait, let’s talk about this for a second.” Tara started. “Cause’ this-this might not have anything to do with us.” Tara explained stumbling over her words again. “Are you serious?” Sam said she was starting to get annoyed with her sister again. “You knew him!” Sam hissed pointing at the TV. “Barely.” Tara hissed back.

 “Chad, Mindy, Y/N, back me up.” Sam called out to them trying to get some sense into Tara. “I mean it is a little bit- “Chad started to say shuffling his feet around. “Close to home.” Mindy said finishing Chad’s sentence. Everyone then looked at Y/N which made her sigh. Why does she have to be a part of this fucked up situation? “As being the daughter of a former Woodsboro cop who went through this shit like a hundred times. This can’t be just a coincidence.” Y/N explained to Tara with a serious look in her eyes. “See!” Sam told Tara.

 “Quinn, your dad’s a cop, right?” Tara asked looking over at Quinn. “Can you call him and find out what’s going on?” Tara added on. “Before you make the unilateral decision to abandon my college education and flee the fucking state!” Tara snapped looking back at Sam with a nasty glare in her eyes. “I’m calling him now.” Quinn said, putting her phone up to her ear. She stood up from the couch and walked into a different room.

 The room was all quiet till Sam’s phone started to ring, making the whole room tense up. Sam walked over to her phone that was on the dining table. “Who is it?” Y/N asked trying to not sound scared but didn’t do a very good job. “Your mom.” Sam said relieved seeing the name ‘Gale Weathers’ flashing on her phone. “Hit fucking decline!” Y/N hissed now angry and annoyed.

 Sam did exactly what she told her to do. Y/N knew her mom just called Sam to ask her for a comment about the latest murders. Y/N feels like her mom cares more about her stupid ass career than anything. Quinn came running back into the room. “Sam, my dad wants to talk to you.” Quinn said, handing her phone over to Sam. Sam let out a sigh as she took the phone.

 As Sam talked on the phone with Detective Bailey the whole room was silent which made Y/N slip deep into her thoughts. Of course, she was thinking about this new Ghostface, but she was also thinking about her careless mother. A normal mom would call her daughter up to ask if she and her friends are okay. Not to call up one of them to ask them questions about the fucking murder. Y/N really wished that her dad was here with her. If he was here, she knows she would feel a whole lot safer. Y/N broke out of her thoughts when Sam spoke.

 “Detective Bailey needs me to come down to the station.” Sam said giving the phone back to Quinn after she changed her shirt really quick. Sam grabbed her phone putting it into her back pocket. She also grabbed her jacket and keys and walked out of the apartment. Tara grabbed her jacket and quickly followed Sam.

 “I’ll be right back.” Y/N said as she stood up. “Where are you going?” Ethan asked her. “I need to go give my mom a special call.” Y/N said, taking her phone out of her pocket and walked into the kitchen. “Expect to hear some yelling.” Mindy warned everyone as she let out a sigh.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

It was the next day and Y/N was completely exhausted due to the lack of sleep. Right when she and Mindy got back home to their apartment, they got a call from Tara saying her and Sam got attacked by Ghostface. She reassured them that she and Sam didn’t get hurt and were at the police station for questioning. That was one of the reasons why Y/N didn’t get enough sleep. It was like every time she closed her eyes, she had a nightmare, and they were worse than before.

 Since she knew that they would continue to the point where she wouldn’t be able to sleep at all she gave Sam a call when she got up this morning asking for the number of the therapist she’d been seeing. Sam gave her the number and then mentioned to her that they had a run in with her mom outside the police station which had her fuming. Why won’t her mom just fucking listen to her? After she ended the phone call with Sam, she gave the therapist a call and was able to get an appointment this afternoon since he had a cancellation.

 Y/N was sitting in the plaza on the school campus with the whole group. Y/N was sitting in between Ethan and Tara. Tara was sitting next to Chad while Sam, Anika, and Quinn sat on a bench together. Mindy was standing in front of everyone. “Already nerds, listen up!” Mindy said as she clapped her hands together.

 “As terrifying as this all is, I’m actually glad I get a chance to redeem myself for not calling the killers last time.” Mindy said with disappointment at the end of her sentence. Y/N rolled her eyes. She didn’t even want to be there, but Mindy made her. “It’s fine.” Mindy said quickly, changing her mood. “The way I see it, someone is out to make a sequel to the requel.” Mindy told everyone. Anika raised her hand. “Um, what’s a requel?” Anika asked in a curious and innocent tone. “You’re beautiful sweetie, let’s hold questions ‘till the end.” Mindy said to her girlfriend as Anika put her hand down. “Stab one took place in Woodsboro, Stab two took place in college.” Sam chimed in. “Do we think that the killer is trying to copy the movies?” Tara asked in a curious tone. “That is one possibility.” Mindy said, pointing at Tara.

 “Hero’s now in college, check. Suspicious new characters brought in to round the suspect list and/or body count, check, check, and check.” Mindy explained by pointing to Quinn, Anika, and then Ethan. “I don’t like this!” Ethan said with a mixture of fear and nervousness in his tone. Y/N could tell that his heart was racing so she took one of his hands into hers and gave it a light squeeze. “Hey, it’s okay. Relax.” Y/N told him in a calm tone as she gave him a smile. “Okay.” Ethan said with a nod as he looked into her eyes, which were helping him calm down. “Hey lovebirds.” Mindy called out getting their attention. “May I continue?” Mindy asked with a stern look in her eyes. “Yes, please continue.” Y/N said in annoyance as she shot a glare at Mindy. Mindy was really getting on her nerves today.

 “As I was saying, it can’t just be about Stab two.” Mindy said, getting back to her lecture. “Why not?” Tara asked her. “It would make sense if that were just a sequel, because nobody just makes sequels anymore!” Mindy said as excitement started to build up inside of her. “Don’t say, don’t say, don’t say it!” Y/N mumbled out. “We’re in a franchise!” Mindy said, throwing both of her arms up into the air. “There it is.” Y/N said with a groan. “And there are certain rules to a continuing franchise.” Mindy told them. “I had a feeling.” Sam said with a sigh.

 “Rule one, everything is bigger than last time! Bigger budge, bigger cast, bigger body count, longer chases, shoot outs, beheadings, gotta top what came before to keep people coming back.” Mindy said starting to list off the rules of horror movies. “Beheadings?” Chad asked looking up from the notebook he was writing in. “Beheadings.” Mindy told him with a point of the finger.

 “Rule two, whatever happened last time, expect the opposite. Franchises only survive by subverting expectations, and if the killers last time were whiny snowflake film nerds with letterboxed accounts instead of personalities, you can bet the opposite will be true here.” Mindy said explaining rule two. Mindy was starting to give Y/N a headache.

 “And rule three, no one is safe.” Mindy said in a stern tone. “Legacy character, cannon folder at this point. Usually brought back only to be killed off in some cheap bid for nostalgia.” Mindy said it in a much nicer tone than before. “It’s not looking good for Gale and Kirby.” Mindy said with sadness which made now made Y/N’s heart rate speed up. “Woah, hold on!” Y/N said before Mindy could continue.

 “You’re telling me that my mom is on the list to get butchered.” Y/N said in a worried tone. “Like I said, no one is safe.” Mindy told her which struck Y/N’s last nerve. “You know what, I’m done!” Y/N said standing up which made her let go of Ethan’s hand that she actually didn’t even realize she was still holding onto. “Y/N, I’m just- “Mindy started to say but Y/N immediately cut her off. “NO!” Y/N yelled making everyone in the group jump.

 “I lost two family members because of this Ghostface shit!” Y/N said with anger as she picked up her bag from the ground. “This isn’t a fucking movie, Mindy; this is real fucking life. I’m not going to fucking sit here and let you tell me I’m going to lose more people, especially my mom.” Y/N told her in a snappy tone and walked away from her friends. Yes, she may be super pissed at her mom and doesn’t want to talk to her but she’s still her mom and doesn’t want to see another family member killed. Ethan wanted to follow her, but he knew that she most likely wanted to be alone to cool off. Everyone was in complete shock because they had never seen Y/N like that before. She finally let her friends see all of the anger and frustration that had been building up inside of her.

  ~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N went back to her apartment to cool down and take some medicine for headache. She relaxed a little bit till she had to go to her appointment. Y/N decided to just walk since it really wasn’t that far of a walk. When Y/N got to the address she saw the front door was wide open and a body was just lying there. As she walked closer and closer to the door her heartrate kept speeding up. When she got to the door she gasped in complete horror. The therapist was laying on the ground. His face was all bloody, it looked like he was stabbed through the face.

 Y/N stepped into the house to get a better view but that turned out to be a huge mistake because she was grabbed from behind. As Y/N struggled she noticed the familiar black sparkly gloves holding onto her tightly. “Get off me you motherfucker!” Y/N hissed as she used all of her strength to back Ghostface into the wall which made them let go of her.

 Y/N ran into what seemed like the living room to find some kind of weapon. Before she could grab anything, she felt something sharp going into her shoulder making her scream in pain. She fell to the hard wood floor after Ghostface took their knife out of her now bleeding shoulder. Ghostface kept trying to stab her legs, but she kept kicking them away as she held onto her shoulder wound.

 Ghostface finally had enough of her, so they grabbed her by the neck and pushed her up against the wall. Y/N struggled to breathe as they held tightly onto her throat. “Say hi to daddy for me!” Ghostface said into their voice changer as they raised their knife. Before Ghostface could stab her with the bloody knife a gunshot rang out. Ghostface dropped her and quickly fled the house. Y/N groaned in pain as her ass hit the hard wood floor.

 “Hey Y/N.” She heard a familiar voice say. When she looked up, she saw Kirby. “Kirby!” Y/N said in a relieved tone. “It’s okay, I got you.” Kirby said walking over to her helping her up from the floor. “Where did they get you?” Kirby asked with concern. “In the shoulder.” Y/N answered in pain as she let Kirby help her out of the house.

 *Tags*

@sweetirilly @aqellano @igotmajordaddyissues @athenalive @hotweeb @ghostlyboiii @marshallowy

[canonicallyobserving911]

Seven Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

FANON speculation for season 7

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!” 

Chapter 10 will be posted soon.

I’m excited to finish writing Chapter 10 because a lot is happening and there's still more to come. At the end of Chapter 9, Buck and Eddie were trying to cope with everything that happened during and after Jonah's criminal trial. At the end of day two, Buck had a major panic attack, he asked Eddie to get him out of the courthouse and Eddie drove them home instead of taking Buck back to the loft. Then Buck scheduled an emergency therapy appointment with Dr. Copeland and later that night, after Chris and Buck were already asleep, Eddie spent time trying to decide if he should make an emergency appointment with Frank instead of scheduling one with his new therapist, Dr. Theresa because Frank's a trauma therapist and she's not. He was strongly considering it since both him and Buck were faced yet again with additional ramifications from the shooting.

___________

As a continuation of my WIP Wednesday, here’s a little more of Buck’s conversation with Rhett and Eddie’s conversation with Bertie.

___________

Buck

“Now… if you swipe to the left, I think… well it’s either left or right who knows with all this new fandangle technology… you’ll see a picture of me and my husband.”

Buck swipes left in the photos app and he sees Rhett in a photo with a very handsome man.  If he didn’t know any better, he’d think it was a picture of him and Eddie because the man in the picture standing next to Rhett has dark hair, brown eyes and olive skin just like Eddie.

“You have a beautiful family.”  Buck says as he hands Rhett’s phone back to him.

“Yeah, we did.  Me and Ray…”  Rhett chuckles then continues.  “His real name was Raymundo but after he left his parents’ house, he wouldn’t let anyone call him that anymore.  We didn’t get married until nine years ago but by that time… we’d already been together for more than forty years.  Even though we didn’t need a piece of paper to tell us how much we loved each other, we wanted it… so we had a small wedding in our backyard with our son and his family.  Getting married also allowed me to change my last name from Quinn to Dominquez… it’s on our marriage license and it’s still hanging up in our home today.  I looked at it before I left to come here.”

Buck’s hit with another realization because he knows he’s been wanting to marry Eddie for years but he’s still not sure Eddie wants him so he tucks the little hope he has back into the corner of his heart.

“You didn’t want to keep your last name?”

“No, I didn’t because the last name Quinn didn’t hold anything but hurt and pain for me.  I grew up in an ok family but my parents weren’t ready to be a mom and a dad and I suppose, it affected how emotionally detached they were.  I don’t blame them for it anymore but finally being able to take my husband’s last name after 40 years of us being together was the best because me, him and our son all had the same last name.”

Buck nods his head because the last name Buckley certainly doesn’t mean shit to him anymore.  That’s Phillip’s last name not his and he’s been trying to figure out what he should change it to.  Diaz has a nice ring to it but he’d have to marry Eddie first for that to happen and since he hasn’t told him how he feels, he doesn’t think it ever will.

Where is Buck?  Also, who is Rhett and why is he telling Buck about his life?

_____

Eddie

After they leave the hospital and they get back inside of the ambulance, it only takes Bertie a few seconds to mention something about Loni.

She closes the driver’s side door, looks at Eddie then says, “She lives on the outskirts of Los Angeles and if anything ever happens to the solitary road that leads to her house, no one will be able to get to her”.

He shrugs his shoulders then says, “Well… she said she likes living out there and she likes the peace and quiet”.

“Yeah, she did say that and she also said the reason why she did it was because she figured she wouldn’t find love again.  So, maybe her decision to live all the way out in an area of Los Angeles that resembles ‘Death Valley’ wasn’t completely about her desire to live in peace and quiet.”

She turns her head to crank the ambulance, then she looks over at Eddie again.  “Some people choose to be alone while others feel like it’s their only option.  Neither choice is wrong but if someone doesn’t want to die alone, they don’t have to”.

Almost immediately after the words leave Bertie’s lips, Eddie feels like someone is screaming at him even though he’ll never admit it’s the universe.  Over the last few days, several people have told him things that remind him of that Geoffrey Chaucer quote, “Time and tide wait for no man” and he realizes he might be running out of time to have a conversation with Buck.

Who is Bertie?  Why is Eddie partnered with her and will he listen to the things she's saying?

___________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 -Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 -After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are part of the foundation when a couple builds a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - Will be posted soon.

__________

I’m enjoying writing this fic because it’s giving me the chance to unravel the mess that was the 6x18 ending for Buck, Eddie and Chris.  Also, it’s taking them places the show refuses to go including Buck finally having a mental breakdown and Eddie being there for him the same way he was there for Eddie in season 5.

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading

Read chapters 1 - 9 are already available on AO3.

[maddieladner1999]

Bad Idea Right?

A Ricky and EJ fanfic set during season 4 when Ricky visits EJ at college. I really liked a lot of the dialogue from there scene, so I kept most of it and tweaked it to my story.

All rights go to Disney and Tim Federly for characters. I do not own them. 

When Ricky and Gina kept having problems between the movie, seeing each other, and Mack always being around, Ricky didn’t know what to do. He’s scared. He hasn’t been this scared in a while, so he does the stupidest thing he could possibly do, goes to visit EJ at college. While looking for his dorm  building he finally sees EJ standing on the stairs on the second floor. 

EJ: Richard Bowen

Ricky: Elton John

Ej: Welcome to college. 

Ricky is taken by EJ into EJ’s room and given a brief tour. He’s staying by himself as an RA so that means he won’t have to worry about any conversation interrupters. EJ tells him that he is no longer speaking to his dad, working 4 jobs, has a full class schedule, weekly practice for the ping pong team, and sectionals is coming up for his acapella group the Blindorphins. No suprise that he stays busy he always has. And of course he’s doing acapella, he always like Blaine the best on glee. 

Ricky couldn’t help but notice the guitars. He remembers hearing EJ play for the first time at camp this summer. He never knew EJ even knew how to play guitar, but alas the older boy is full of surprises. Camp also reminds him of trying to hang out with EJ and EJ was too busy. He wonders back on that night to what could’ve happened if he did instead of Gina. He never wouldn’t realized his feelings for Gina probably. He most likely would’ve realized the truth of why he always steals EJs girlfriends. He really just wants EJ. He asks EJ to play him a song

EJ: it might be terrible

Ricky: “all songs might be terrible, Elton.” He loved using his given name. It made him feel things. 

EJ: yeah sounds about right. Capo. 

Ricky: oh capo? Fancy. 

EJ starts singing and Ricky can’t help himself. He’s absolutely in love with the man standing before him. He decides to join in with his struggles in the song too. 

Ricky is strolling through Instagram to find Quinn’s latest post featuring Mack and Gina kissing. He’s not even jealous anymore. He just wishes Gina would tell him how she feels. Guess he’ll just have to tell EJ first and see what happens. 

EJ comes back and can visibly see something’s wrong

EJ: ok so you wanna grab food? You ok?

Ricky: I am great. Super. Good

EJ grand his phone and sees the pictures. “Hey I know what it feels like. I’m here for you though, unless you wanna be alone.”

Ricky: I thought everything was perfect. It was, for like a second. Just like it was with my parents. Just like it was with nini. Just like it was with my dad and miss freakin jenn. It’s like everyone’s allowed to be ok for like 10 seconds. And then everything falls apart. And then Gina gets this great movie opportunity, and this guy, her childhood crush, is hanging around all the time and it’s like ok I don’t wanna get in her way, but I don’t know what else to do but hide. 

EJ: well do you know what she wants?

Ricky: IDK. I’m too afraid to ask. Are you ever like um afraid of the truth? 

EJ: I mean not so much anymore. 

Ricky: I don’t wanna respond to my moms texts because I don’t wanna know if she’s back with Todd. I’m tanking my senior year instead of applying to colleges or focusing on my grades. I’m just distracted at the fear of losing more people. I’m tired. I’m tired of losing people. I don’t wanna lose Gina but the truth is I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you for quite some time now. I love her I do. But not like that. 

EJ: wow that wasn’t what I was expecting. 

Ricky: and what were you expecting? 

EJ: I thought you’d come here for advice on getting Gina to be 100% yours. I never expected you to secretly harbor feelings for me. 

Ricky: well I do. And I have no idea what to do now. Especially since you probably don’t even feel the same way. 

EJ: oh. I do though. I have for a while now too. I’m not sure how long but I do. I hated calling you my brother that day at the screening. Especially since I was just so hurt I thought you liked her. I never thought you could ever like me. Clearly, I was wrong. 

Ricky: so now what?

EJ: why don’t we get some food and then figure it out. I’m starving 

Ricky: ok 

EJ orders some food for delivery to campus and the two boys eat on the floor since EJ doesn’t really have a table. 

EJ: I am stuffed

Ricky: yeah me too

*thunder rumbles outside*

EJ: no

Ricky: I should probably hit the road before an actual monsoon arrives. Hey I’m sorry for showing up and dropping everything on you earlier. You didn’t ask for that. 

EJ throws a balled up paper wrapper at Ricky “actually, I think you’re done talking for a minute.”

EJ: there are a lot of things that I would do different. I wish I would’ve stood up to my dad sooner. I wish I had spent last summer having more fun… there are just so many things that I didn’t get right. 

Ricky: I had no idea

EJ: look the point is, sometimes things don’t work out and our job is to just shake it off and hold on to some hope for what’s next. Look… my time at east high is over. And I am  so proud of who I am and who I’ve become. And I do love what has come next. But dude there is nothing in this world like high school. Nothing. And I promise you, you will never find another family like the wildcats. Take em in. Love em. Because honestly one of the biggest reasons I stay so busy is because I miss it every single day. And you will too Ricky, I promise you. It happens to every single one of us. And look dude, I think there are plenty of people who do more than worry about you, but you have to actually let them. I mean you have to actually pick up the phone, reach out and stop feeling sorry for yourself. 

Ricky: that’s not…

EJ: and look Gina is the best. And I am at peace with how things worked out, but you have to tell her the truth. I know you think you’re the guy who runs away and that’s just some personality trait that you have to be stuck with forever. You know something bad happens and you hide like opening night with HSM. And the crazy thing is you think you’re actually helping the other person, but you know what?

Ricky: I’m actually hurting them?

EJ: no you’re actually hurting yourself. Look you can be the guy who runs. You can be. Plenty of people do. But is anybody gonna show up for that guy? You still have plenty of time to change that. 

Ricky: (sobs) how?

EJ: if you wanna be happy in the future, you better start speaking your mind to the people you care about. Like right now. 

Ricky: okay. Okay. I’m not gonna run away again. I’m not gonna run away this time. I like you EJ. I do. And I need to tell Gina that. And I will. 

EJ:  ok but it’s storming and I can’t let you drive home in that weather. You can stay here tonight and drive back in the morning. 

Ricky: ok but I didn’t plan on staying the night so I don’t have any clothes and you have a twin size bed. 

EJ: I’ll make a pallet on the floor and you can borrow some of my stuff. 

Ricky: so now what?

EJ kisses Ricky and Ricky finally understands the whole thing about fireworks. Seeing EJ tonight was definitely a bad idea but it’s time he goes after what he wants. It’s the best kiss he’s ever had. But he can’t continue with Gina still being his girlfriend. 

Ricky: I’m sorry but I can’t do that to Gina. 

EJ: right I shouldn’t have I’m sorry. I’ll get you some clothes. 

EJ starts rifling through his stuff and Ricky decides to step in the hall. He texts miss jenn that he can’t make it to rehearsal and calls Gina. She answers. He doesn’t wanna do this over the phone but he can’t keep it to himself any longer. He wants EJ. And he can’t sleep on EJ’s floor next to him tonight and resist him. 

Gina: hey Ricky I was just sitting down for dinner is everything ok? I know you went to see EJ

Ricky: yeah I’m still here. It’s raining pretty bad and he refuses to let me drive in the bad weather. 

Gina: that’s good. So what’s up?

Ricky: look I love you, I do. But this year has been rough. With Mack, your childhood crush, and the movie. I don’t think I can do this anymore. 

Gina: what are you talking about?

Ricky: I just had a really long important conversation with EJ and he laid some truths out. I run away from my problems and I know that. And I can’t keep doing it anymore. Running away won’t make it better. This time without you thought has made he realize something. I thought it could work with nini I thought it was supposed to because I’ve known her forever and we’re so good together but as just friends. And then I realized maybe it was you but as always everything bad that could happen happened. I really thought I could be with you and that you were the one and who knows maybe you are. But I think we need to be apart. You can go be with Mack if you want. And I’m sorry for doing this over the phone but I just couldn’t continue on without telling you how I feel. I’ll be back tomorrow 

Gina: you’re right. This isn’t working. I tried the best I could but you still slipped away. I couldn’t stop you. I understand. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then? 

Ricky: one more thing. 

Gina: what?

Ricky: I like EJ. I didn’t wanna tell you over the phone but I needed you to know. He kissed me. That’s it though. I couldn’t do that to you. But now that we’re over I need to see what happens next here with EJ. 

Gina: I always suspected but l wasn’t sure. 

Ricky: what?

Gina: you stole his girlfriend twice. You always seemed to care about what EJ was doing. It makes sense now. 

Ricky: well I’m sorry again. 

Gina: it’s ok. At least it was before we got too serious. Didn’t break my heart Bowen. 

Ricky: good. I’ll see you at school?

Gina: yeah. Bye. 

Ricky comes back into EJ’s room to find EJ had taken a shower and got him some clothes

EJ: everything ok?

Ricky: yeah. I just broke up with Gina. 

EJ: oh. How’d she take it?

Ricky: good. She even apparently kinda suspected I liked you

EJ: oh yeah? 

Ricky: yeah. I guess I was a little obvious with my obsession of EJ caswell. 

EJ: so everything’s good. No broken hearts? Cause I would never forgive you if you hurt her. 

Ricky: yeah everything’s good. We weren’t that serious yet so she’s not hurt. 

EJ: ok well I guess you could shower if you want now. I left some clothes on your pallet. 

Ricky: ok. I’m gonna do that

While Ricky showered he thought about EJ some more. He’s in his shower using his soap and shampoo. He liked the idea of smelling like EJ. He couldn’t wait to get out and see him again. That scruffy looking dork could be his now. If EJ wasn’t too busy to have him of course. 

When Ricky comes out the bathroom he understands the term “coming out the closet” even more. So that’s what he’s gonna do tomorrow. He’s gonna figure out his sexuality and tell everyone in the drama club. They’ll accept him. He knows they will. Carlos, Ashlyn, and Maddox are all part of the community already. And his best friend big red is Bi. And gina already knows. Everything is going to be fine. 

EJ: you good?

Ricky: yeah. I’m just not a fan of sleeping on the floor. 

EJ: wanna trade?

Ricky: no. I wanna spoon you actually. 

EJ: oh? Well then get in. 

Ricky gets in the bed and goes to wrap his arm around EJ when EJ turns toward him

EJ: so if you and Gina are over and she knows does that mean we can kiss now?

Ricky: oh I wanna do so much more than kiss you. 

______________

EJ’s pov:

EJ kisses Ricky with such force it almost knocks Ricky off the bed. He saves him in great timing though. EJ rolls Ricky on top of him so he won’t have to worry about Ricky falling off the bed and immediately takes off Ricky’s shirt. He’s used to the smell of his soap but he notices it on Ricky. He likes it. As he goes down to pull off Ricky’s pants he takes a moment to let Ricky take off his shirt. Momentarily distracted by Ricky kissing his entire torso up and down he almost forgets what he’s doing. Finally he gets the pants off along with the boxers. Ricky is bigger than he thought he’d be and already fully erected. He realizes he doesn’t completely know that he’s doing so decides on giving a blow job. He flips Ricky over so he can get to the right spot. He knows what he likes so he does it to Ricky. Ricky doesn’t take very long to cum and soon his mouth is full. After that, Ricky is obviously dazed. He doesn’t know what to do know so he cleans Ricky up and kisses him up his torso. Ricky finally has words 

Ricky: I thought coming here would be a bad idea actually 

EJ: yeah? Was it?

Ricky: no I think it was the best idea I’ve ever had. 

EJ: good. So you wanna take a turn now? 

Ricky: 1 night and you’re already asking the right questions. Of course I do. 

 ___________

Ricky’s pov:

EJ just gave Ricky the best blowjob of his life and he could feel that EJ was hard. So when he asked if I wanted to return the favor I knew I had to. 

I flipped EJ back to his back after slipping off his pajama bottoms and boxers. I thought I was big but man did EJ have an inch or 2 on me. I moved down to get in position and got started on his cock. I did everything the same as he did but faster. EJ was moaning so hard. Once he came, I cleaned him up and kissed him up his torso till I met his lips. This was the best night of my life. But I was tired so I promptly laid down on top of EJ and fell asleep. 

The next morning I was still naked and on top of EJ who was of course also naked. I couldn’t help but smile. He looked so cute when he slept. He soon woke up and said good morning. I responded the same and kissed him. I knew I had to get back home but I didn’t wanna leave. After a few minutes of kissing EJ stopped and had some things to say

EJ: well last night was fun. 

Ricky: yeah it was. I guess I have to go back now. 

EJ: yeah I guess so. I almost forgot you were still in high school. 

Ricky: me too. I didn’t even wanna leave. 

EJ: well then when you get home go apply to go to school here and work really hard to get in. 

Ricky: I will. 

EJ: long distance can be hard. Is that something you wanna do or do you wanna wait till senior year is over?

Ricky: I think I’ve waited long enough for the right person I’m not running away from that again 

EJ: you really taking my words to heart?

Ricky: yeah. So I guess you can text me your busy schedule and I’ll find time to FaceTime you. And maybe even visit. And you have to come see the show. 

EJ: of course I will. So we doing this. 

Ricky: yep! I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. 

EJ: you should get going soon 

Ricky gets up off of EJ and gets dressed in his clothes from yesterday. 

Ricky: I guess the pajamas weren’t that necessary after all

EJ: nope. (EJ gets up and puts on his boxers so he’s not naked) but it was still nice to see you in my clothes if only for a minute. 

Ricky: well thanks for last night again. It’s time I go after what I want. And who I want. 

EJ: hey I’m always here when you need me. 

Ricky: well I should get going. (Ricky texts his dad he’s on his way home)

EJ: wait before you go

Ricky: one last kiss for the road?

EJ: no. Well yeah but I wanted to give you something. (EJ hands Ricky his electric guitar)

Ricky: no

EJ: you’ll probably get more use out of this than I will

Ricky: EJ

EJ: please. (EJ kisses Ricky very passionately before taking him into a hug)

Ricky: I love you

EJ: I love you too now get out of here

Ricky: see you at opening night?

EJ: of course and we’ll definitely FaceTime before then

The end. 

[writing-blog-iguess]

Harley Quinn

Summery: The batfamily hears three stories about batmom and Harley. How they met, how they started dating, and how they ended.

Warning: fluff, angst.

A/N: This bish is 4847 words. I did not mean to write that much.

Man, the amount of love I got from Stories...I'm so happy people enjoyed it. So, I hope you enjoy this one just as much.

Feedback is welcome! And feel free to let me know who or what kind of story of Batmom you want to see next.

-------

There were only two weeks left of summer, and she wanted to move onto campus as soon as possible. But her friend, Selina, had made it a little difficult for her. On the first day the campus was allowing their students to come, Selina had come over and stopped her from packing. And they spent the day together shopping, seeing a movie and eating. Selina ended up crashing at her place after they had binged a show.

When she started packing the next day, Selina did the same. But after a promise of hanging out when she was settled in her dorms, Selina conceded and helped with the packing. And after some whining and pizza, Selina came with her to campus to help as well.

Struggling to keep the heavy box in her hands, she made her way towards her dorm. “You can help me, you know,” she grunted, shifting the box as it was slipping out of her arms.

“I am,” Selina said, holding up a couple of garbage bags full of clothes. “My hands are just full to help you carry your box.”

“You’re funny,” she deadpanned. Selina flashed her a smile, to which she returned one of her own.

“And that’s why you love me.”

“No, no I don’t think that’s it,” she mused, looking at each dorm number. “I think I love your cat more. And that’s why we’re friends.”

Selina gasped mockingly, and bumped her shoulder. “I knew it!” She laughed just as she found her dorm room.

Fishing out her key from her pocket, she handed it to Selina and waited until Selina opened the door. The minute she walked through the door, she was eloped in a hug. It caught her by surprise that she dropped the box she was holding.

“Hiya! I’m your new roommate!”

“And they were roommates,” Dick gasped out, interrupting the story.

“Oh my god, they were roommates,” Tim finished, and three out of the four boys burst out laughing.

“You two are hilarious,” she said, slumping into her chair. They had just finished dinner when the boys started bombarding her with questions about her and Harley. And after teasing them a little about which story. She started with how she met her ex-fiancé.

“Are you two done?” Bruce asked, and the laughter slowly downed a little. Until they caught each other’s eyes, and it started again.

Damian rolled his eyes, and turned to his mother. “I didn’t know you and Selina were in a relationship,” he said, and that had caused Dick, Jason and Tim to stop and look at her.

“No, no we weren’t dating,” she answered, shaking her head. “I didn’t know my sexuatilty until I started dating Harley.”

“And how long did that take?” Jason asked, rolling his cup on the table.

She blew out a puff of air and sighed. “When we were twenty-one. Even then I needed help.”

“I don’t think I’ve heard this one,” Bruce said with a smile. She flushed in embarrassment and looked away before recalling the story.

——

“Pumpkin,” her roommate sang from the other side of the room. She hummed, blinking at her homework trying to keep awake. She was currently laying on her stomach with her chin sitting on her hand. “Maybe you should take a break. You’ve been at it for hours.”

“Pft, I’m fine,” she answered, though the words were starting to blur together. “Hey!” she said, as Harley yanked the book from her. “I need that.”

“And you need a break,” she pressed, closing the book with a snap. “Come on Pumpkin, let’s get something to eat.”

She pouted trying to grab her textbook. Harley giggled and held it out of her reach. “Harley,” she whined, “the test I'm studying for is supposed to cost half of my grade.”

“You should know that taking care of your body is more important than school, doctor,” Harley teased. She stuck her tongue out, causing Harley to poke it. “Come on, we’ll go to your favourite café.”

She lit up and quickly got out of bed, almost tripping on her feet doing so. Harley laughed and tossed the book onto the bed. “You gotta be more careful, pumpkin.” She made a face, and grabbed her stuff before the two of them left their apartment.

She looped her arm through Harley’s as they walked. Talking about everything and nothing that came to mind. On occasion, she would check her phone, hoping for any messages from Bruce. But there were none.

She hasn’t spoken to Bruce since the last time they hung out, and she wondered if it was something that she did. Though the thought was ridiculous. They’ve only met up a handful of times since he’d been back. And even then, she couldn’t think of a reason why he was avoiding her.

The only thing she could think of was their first conversation they had together. But that was back when he first arrived in Gotham.

Bruce had found the apartment she was sharing with Harley, and decided to pay her a visit before the tabloids caught wind of him being back.

It had caught her by surprise when Harley called, saying there was a billionaire holding pizza. Confused on what she meant, she rounded the corner to find Bruce Wayne standing in her hallway.

After giving him a hug, and a little catch up, the three of you spent the night hanging out. And it felt like nothing had changed between the two of you.

It wasn’t until Harley had gone to bed, that Bruce told you everything that happened since leaving Gotham when he was fourteen. He told you how his training had gone, and all the people he’s met.

It was one thing reading about them through Bruce’s letters. But it was a different experience hearing them from Bruce. When he had finished, he told her it was time to start fixing Gotham his way.

With a sigh, she had hoped that he had changed his mind. Instead of talking him out of it, she suggested waiting a little bit before doing so. Make Bruce Wayne into a public figure, or more then he already is. And then have his second persona make an appearance. Only so people didn’t connect that the two were related.

That had been two months ago. And sure, she’s been busy with school and midterms were just around the corner, and Bruce was busy running a company and….well, being a playboy from what she’s read in magazines. She didn’t read the articles, it hurt a little reading them.

And he was also busy with being Batman. She laughed at the name the media had dubbed him, it almost made her call him up just to tease him about it. But she refrained from doing so. She was unsure where she fit in his new life, and at this point she was too afraid of the answer to ask.

When they arrived at the café, she found a table for them while Harley ordered.

Harley looked over the rim of the coffee cup in her hand when her friend sighed again. “You’re in love with Bruce!” Harley accused.

She dropped her bagel on her plate and stared at Harley in shock. “I am not!”

“You totally are! You keep checking your phone like your love sick, waiting for someone to call you.”

“I am not in love with Bruce,” she stuttered out, “why would I be? He left to go to school abroad, and shows up eight years later! And so what if I thought about him during those years, and was worried about him. That’s what friends do, they worry about them. It’s not like I noticed how much he’s changed or dream about holding his hand or...or kissing him or…or...” she trailed off as she thought back to all the times her heart hammered in her chest when he smiled at her.

Or all the times Bruce made her blush. She thought back to how she smiled when she saw Bruce’s letter in the mail, or how happy she felt as she read them. Or how relieved she felt when she saw Bruce in her apartment or how hurt she was when she saw him with different girls every night.

Then she thought about all that when she was with Harley. Could she be in love with Harley too? But she quickly dismissed it, thinking it wasn’t possible.

She slumped into her chair as Harley set her mug down, and smirked at her in satisfaction. “Holy hell, I’m in love with Bruce Wayne.”

“There it is,” Harley said, giggling as she received a glare. “You’ve known Bruce since you guys were little, how is it only now that you're realizing this?”

“I don’t…” she trailed off, hands picking up her cup. She twirled it around the table as she tried to come up with the right words, “I’m not...when I can’t pick up the cues when it comes to stuff like that.”

“So someone has to tell you that they love you. Like your parents loving you,” Harley mused, she shrugged.

“I know they do and I can see that they love me. But for whatever reason, when it comes to romantic feelings, I have a blind eye,” she explained, letting the cup go in favour of pulling apart her muffin. She huffed out a laugh. “It’s funny. Back in high school there was this guy who asked me out on a date. But he didn’t use those words, he used ‘wanna hang out?’

“I said yes. It wasn’t until he kissed me that it was starting to click. Even then I didn’t fully understand. Selina told me what it was that I knew. I was so embarrassed I couldn‘t face him. I feel like there’s something wrong with me.”

Harley leaned over and took her hands, she stilled her hands and her eyes flitted up to Harley. And her heart stuttered as Harley looked at her. “Nothing’s wrong with you pumpkin. People process things differently, you just happen to need someone to tell you.”

Relief washed over her and she smiled. “Thanks, Hars.” Harley hummed and leaned back, letting go of her hand. She missed the warmth of Haley’s hands, but didn’t think anything of it, especially when she noticed a twinkle in Harley's eyes.

“So, are you going to tell Brucie?” Harley teased, she made a face and shook her head.

“No, I will not,” she said.

“But he might love you back!” Harley exclaimed, “pumpkin, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He looks at you like you hung the moon every night.”

“Even if that’s true, I don’t think it’ll work. At least not right now,” she mumbled, and quickly added when Haley gave her a confused look, “he’s not interested in anything serious right now.”

Harley nodded in understanding, and she looked away when she saw pity in Harley's eyes.

That weekend, she found herself in the school library with Harley and Jonathan doing homework. Harley had just left for drinks, leaving the two of them alone.

Jonathan looked up from his homework and studied his friend. She hunched over her books and tapped her pencil on her head as she was going over a question.

“Are you and Harley dating?” Jonathan blurted out. She froze and lifted her head to look at him in surprise.

“Excuse me?” she asked.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow at her reaction, and stifled a laugh. “I think you heard me.”

“Oh I heard. But what made you come to that conclusion?” she clarified, squinting her eyes at him.

“The way you two act around each other,” he explained, “you're all in love and shit. It’s a wonder you haven’t kissed yet.”

“I don’t….but I can’t….” she trailed off. The words weren’t coming and she wasn’t quite sure if she did or not. “Friends can act like that platonically!”

“That’s true. But with you two, it’s hard to tell. You both have heart eyes every time you either talk about each other, or just being in the same room.”

She stayed quiet, she didn’t have anything to say.

“You know, when Harley told me you process feelings differently than most people, I thought she was joking,” he mused, this time chuckling.

“It’s great to know you talk about me,” she deadpanned, setting down her pencil.

“But I’m serious, do you like her or not?” he asked, and she let her head drop on her textbook and groaned.

“I don’t know. The other day, Harley helped me discover I’m in love with my childhood best friend. And now you're making me question my feelings for Harley.”

Jonathan held up his hands in surrender, though she wasn’t paying attention. “Wasn’t my intent, I just figured you needed to know.”

“Thanks,” she said dryly, and lifted her hand and flipped him off. He laughed and gently patted her head.

“I’ll ask a question or two, maybe it’ll help.”

She nodded but kept her head on the table. Jonathan's smile grew wider, enjoying this a little bit too much.

“When you see her, what do you do?”

She took a moment to ponder the question. “My heart starts to beat faster and I can’t help but think how pretty she is. And I get all flustered when she gets really close or she gives me a compliment. And when she’s happy and smiling and laughing, and my butterflies explode in my stomach when that happens because I did that. And sometimes, when she’s pouting or just sad, I just want to pull her into a kiss.”

Jonathan raised an eye at her statement, and had no doubt that she was blushing. “What about Bruce?”

“The same thing! He winks my way and the next thing I know I’m a blushing mess. And when he gives me a certain look, it’s like I gave him everything and I melt and just want to kiss his stupid face! And I hate him for that, but not really and….hhhhh!”

“Damn,” Jonathan huffed out, staring at her. “You have it bad for both of them.”

“But I can’t love two people at once!” she exclaimed, getting shushed by other students. She paid them no mind, head racing on what she should do.

“Who says?” Jonathan asked, and she paused to think about it. “There's no rule saying you have to like one person at the time,” he continued when she didn’t answer. “Now the question is who are you going to pick? Bruce or Harley?”

“What if they both don’t love me?” she whispered, lifting her head up slightly. “What if it’s all in my head and they laugh if I tell them?”

“I don’t know about Bruce, but Harley won’t,” he answered, going back to his homework, “trust me.”

She spent the next week pondering over her conversations with Harley and Jonathan. And there were a few things she’s discovered.

She’s bisexual.

She’s really bad at feelings and seeing them for what they are. Though this wasn’t anything new, still she hated that she needed help when it comes to emotions.

If she did choose Bruce over Harley, it wouldn’t have worked out. Not only because of him being Batman, but because she didn’t see it as a long term relationship. And she didn’t want that.

And if she chose Harley over Bruce, she didn’t want to make Harley feel like she was second pick. She didn’t want that either.

By the weekend, she still doesn’t know what to do.

Sighing, she fell on her bed. She stared at the ceilings and groaned, pressing her palms to her eyes. “Why is this hard?”

“I don’t know pumpkin, maybe I can help?” Harley suggested, startling her. She sat up quickly and turned to see Harley leaning against the doorframe.

“Help me with what?” she asked, nervously laughing. Harley smiled and walked further in the room.

“Whatever you’re having trouble with,” Harley answered.

She sighed and fell onto the bed again, she took a pillow and hugged it to her chest. “I don’t think this is something you can help with,” she mumbled, closing her eyes.

She felt the bed dip, and felt Harley shift around until she stopped. “I could listen to you rant about it?”

She hummed, but shook her head. “It’s something I need to figure out.”

Silence fell around them as she thought. Harley brought her hand over her face and tucked a stray hair behind her ear. She tensed at the sudden touch, but soon relaxed into it.

“Does it have something to do with what you and Jonathan were talking about last week?” Harley asked after a moment.

Her eyes flew open and she stared at Harley, panicking a little. If Harley knew, there’s nothing she could say that wouldn’t be a lie.

“But I…did he tell you?” she asked, Harley nodded. She groaned and stuffed her face into the mattress. “Damnit.”

Harley giggled and slowly moved her face so they could look at each other. “If it helps any, I love you too.”

She flushed, and looked anywhere but Harley. “But I don’t want to make you feel like a second choice. I don’t want you to resent me because you know I love Bruce too.”

“Hey I won’t,” Harley reassured. Biting her lip, she shook her head. Harley sighed, and moved to press her forehead against hers. “Can I tell you a secret? I loved you before I knew you loved Bruce, and I still love you knowing that. I just hope you can give me a chance.”

She studied Harley for a moment before closing the distance and kissed her.

——

“Ew! Mom! Gross! We don’t need to hear about that!” Dick interrupted. She looked up to see her boys looking at her in disgust. Jason and Tim gagged mockingly as Dick shuddered.

“What? It was just a kiss,” she answered, amused.

“Yeah but you kissed Harley. And that means you’ve done more than kissing,” Jason said.

“You knew this when your father told you I was engaged to her.”

“It’s one thing thinking about it, it’s a whole different thing to hear it from you, Mom,” Tim said, leaning back into his chair.

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Shrugging, she picked up her glass and took a sip.

“So Harley figured out you loved me before you did? And this after meeting me once,” Bruce asked, amused. She felt her cheeks burn and looked away.

“Wasn’t my proudest moment, but yes she did,” she said with a shrug.

“And she was okay with it?”

She nodded, smiling a little at the memory. “Yeah. She didn’t seem to mind too much about it. But I didn’t spend too much time being hung up on Bruce. I was too busy with Har-”

“Ma!” Jason exclaimed, stopping her from finishing the sentence.

“I wasn’t even going to say anything bad!” she defended.

“You went to school with Crane?” Damian asked. She turned her attention to the youngest and nodded.

“We had a few classes together, and Harley just sort of adopted him into the friend group,” she mused.

“What I can’t get over, is the fact that Crane had to tell you about your feelings for Harley,” Dick put out.

“Like I said, I have a hard time deciphering emotions. Especially when it comes to romantic feelings. But once I know, then I’m okay.”

“How long were you together before getting engaged?” Damian asked, though it was still hard to believe his mother had someone before Bruce.

“And who popped the question?”

She looked at the clock and back to the boys. “Doesn't the patrol start soon?” she asked. The boys looked at Bruce with their best puppy eyes. Well, Dick, Jason and Tim did, Damian seemed indifferent but Bruce could tell he wanted to hear the story as well.

“If it’s okay with your mother, we can listen to one more story,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow at her husband. “What?”

“And I thought I couldn’t say no,” she said with a mumble.

“Shut up,” he said, but smiled slightly.

“So Ma, what’s the story?”

Her hand went up to her necklace and started playing with it as she thought back. “We’ve been together for almost eight years before I asked her.”

——

She fell on the couch once she got home from the hospital. It had been a taxing day, and all she wanted to do was curl up with Harley and sleep until the morning. But they had dinner plans they needed to get to, and if everything turned out as planned, she and Harley would be engaged.

Over the years of dating, conversation of marriage would come up. Whether it be just then asking about it, or their friends. They both wanted it, but they silently agreed that they wouldn’t take it seriously until they both finished school.

Harley had already finished her last year of residency, and she was one you last year. Granted, she still had a month left, but she figured it would still count.

“Pumpkin, I’m home,” Harley called as she walked in.

“Living room,” she answered back. A moment later, Harley walked in the room and plopped beside her. Harley laid her head on her lap and sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Tiring day?”

Harley nodded and closed her eyes. “I know we had plans to go out, but can we stay in? Arkham really took me out.”

She scrunched her nose, her hands stopped moving. “I thought you didn’t start there until next week?”

“I did, but something happened with the inmates,” Harley answered.

“And they needed a psychiatrist?”

“Apparently some of the inmates needed help and they couldn’t wait until next week,” Harley said, and sighed happily when she resumed playing with Harley’s hair. “So can we stay in?”

“Yeah, we can. We can order take out and watch a movie or something,” she mused, trying to think of a new plan. “What do you want?”

“Chinese.”

She smiled and reached over, grabbing her phone and ordering food. Once finished, she set the phone before turning back to Harley. She stared at her loving, watching as Harley was slowly falling asleep.

“You’re staring,” Harley mumbled with a smile.

“I can’t help, you’re just too gorgeous to look at anything else,” she teased. Harley blushed and snuggled into her legs.

“Shut up.”

Thinking it’s the perfect time, she went for it. “Marry me?” Harley’s eyes flew open, and she quickly sat down and looked at her.

“What?”

“Marry me,” she repeated, smiling at the bewildered look Harley was giving her. “I know we talked about it a few times. And since I have a month left of residency, I figured why not. So, marry me?”

Harley looked at her for a minute before smiling widely, and threw her arms around her, laughing. “Of course I will, pumpkin!” Harley said, kissing her all over her face.

And just like that they were engaged.

As the months went by, they planned a wedding. They had decided who was going to be in the wedding party, where the venue would be, and who was going to cater for them. They just needed to book everything, but they weren’t going to do so until they picked out the wedding day.

And for a while everything was perfect. Up until Harley started seeing Joker as a patient. She didn’t see it, not a first. She took it as Harley having bad days or long tiring days at Arkham. And with doctor patient confidentiality, Harley couldn’t talk about their problems.

But Harley could tell her how the day went. If it was bad, she’d drop it and offer to make Harley's favourite foods.

Then Harley started to become distant. She would come home later than normal, and would snap for no reason. She had tried to get Harley to talk to her, but she wouldn’t. She kept saying she was fine and it had been a long day. It was worrying.

All at once, it stopped. Harley stopped talking to her, and stopped coming home.

She was out of her mind, worrying for Harley. She hoped her fiancée would come home. It was to the point that she went out and looked for Harley.

But Bruce had stopped her before she could leave the apartment.

She had found him waiting in her living room after a long shift at the hospital. It had startled her seeing Bruce dressed as Batman standing there, he cowl down.

She was about to greet him, but the sad, pitied expression Bruce had stopped her. “No, don’t…don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, taking a step forward, she stepped back. “But something happened to Harley.”

She shook her head frantically, covering her mouth with her hands. “Nononono, she can’t have…please,” she begged, as Bruce wrapped her into a hug when he was close enough.

“I’m sorry, but Joker got into her head,” he started, tightening his grip as she choked back a sob. “Convinced her that they were meant for each other. Made her fall in the chemicals he fell into. She’s alive, but she isn’t Harley anymore. Not the one you knew anyways.”

She broke down crying before Bruce finished his sentence. She clung to him like a lifeline as the words sunk in.

She expected to hear that Harley died, that someone had killed her. Not this. But this? This was so much worse.

——

A heavy silence fell once she finished. She was clutching the ring that was threaded on a chain. It helped keep the tears at bay. She didn’t want to cry, not now, not after so many years.

“The next day, Bruce told me the full story,” she whispered, and grimaced as the fight flashed before her. “We fought. Okay, I yelled and he just took him. I said some things I shouldn’t have and I avoided him for a while.”

“I remember that,” Dick said, leaning onto the table. “Bruce looked heartbroken during that time. And every time I tried to ask what happened, he shut me down. Even at gala’s when you were there, he looked like he wanted to go and talk to you.”

Bruce looked at him in surprise. Dick was only eight when that happened, he didn’t think he was paying attention.

On the other hand, she felt guilt crawling in her stomach, and slouched into her chair. She hid her face in her hands when Dick continued.

“That falling out thing happened for a few years, didn’t it?” he asked. She opted to stay quiet, letting Bruce answer the question.

“Three or four years, yeah.”

Tim was about to ask what had happened, but Jason nudged him and shook his head. Tim gave him a look, and Jason gestured to their mom, practically saying I don’t think she wants to talk about it.

“Sorry for bringing up the past Ummi,” Damian said softly. “We didn’t know.”

Rubbing her face to get rid of stray tears, she dropped her hands onto the table. “That’s okay sweetie. I wouldn’t have told you anything if it still hurts.”

“So, how’d you fix your friendship with Bruce?” Jason asked. She shook her head and stood.

“Bruce can tell you,” she said, stretching, “I have the night shift tonight. And I need to get ready.”

With that she left her boys staring at Bruce, waiting.

“It’s time for patrol,” he gruffed out and followed his wife. The boys groaned, saying that wasn’t fair.

“Are you okay?” he asked when he reached their bedroom. He leaned against the doorframe, watching her quickly change and grabbed her stuff before pausing. She clutched her keys and sighed.

“Honestly? I don’t know,” she sighed, dropping her shoulders. “After ten years, it still hurts. Not as much as it did, but still.”

Bruce nodded, and pushed off the frame and wrapped his arms around her. Holding her close. “I’m sorry again for everything.”

“You know I don’t blame you anymore, you don’t need to apologize for it.”

“Feels like I have too. You don’t deserve to have gone through that.”

“No one does but life sucks that way,” she said, giving him a smile. “I have to go.”

Bruce frowned, tightening his hold a little. “I wish you didn’t.”

“I’m a doctor Bruce, but I’ll be careful,” she said, reaching up to kiss him. “You be careful too tonight.” He nodded and dropped his arms and watched as she left the room.

“I love you,” he called. She popped her head back in and smiled.

“I love you too.”

Running out of the manor and to her car, she didn’t notice a figure standing in the distance. Harley signed as she watched, glad that her ex-lover found happiness again. And promised she’d do whatever it took to keep it that way.

[slafkovskys]

Angst 7 with jack hughes, possibly some brother angst

7. “do you think about them when you look at me?”

you’d known jack for a while, so it was easy for you to tell when things were off. to say that it was the first day that he was acting cold towards you, would be a lie. in fact, it had been going on for the better part of the summer ever since he had come home from new jersey. instead of grabbing onto your hand when you had held it out, he had brushed past you easily and started walking alongside jim, leaving you to walk with quinn. you cross your arms over your chest and quinn nudges your side with his elbow, “look at us, the alumni are back.”

you swallow the lump in your throat, tearing your gaze away from the back of jack’s head to glance at his older brother, “i think to be alumni, you have to graduate, and that only applies to one of us.”

“oh, that’s how it’s gonna be,” he laughs, throwing his arm over your shoulder and you giggle as you shove him away. the noise draws jack’s attention and he turns his head, face falling as he spots the two of you. he sends the both of you a glare before turning his head around. quinn makes a noise, “what was that for?”

“he’s been acting like that ever since we got to your parent’s house. has he-,” you lower your voice because you now knew that he was listening to you, “has he said anything to you? like, at any point this summer?”

“this has been going on all summer?”

you shrug your shoulders, “only when we-”

“‘when we’ what, y/n?” he raises his eyebrows as he shoves his hands in his pockets. you were getting closer to your cars now and you were about to be separated from quinn, but it all started to make sense. he chuckles, “so you’re just gonna leave me hanging?”

“it’s when we’re around you, quinn. he only acts like this – gets cold and acts like someone pissed in his cereal – when you’re there,” you look at quinn and he freezes. you can see jack’s car when the lights flash as he unlocks and you stop alongside quinn, “is he- did you- you said that he was okay with it. he told me that he was okay with it.”

that was the thing with you and jack, jack wasn’t the first hughes that you had been involved with. you were a couple of years older than your boyfriend, meaning you and quinn were the same age. you had met quinn in high school during his time with the ntdp. it wasn’t until college where you started messing around with each other. it fizzled out after a couple of months, but you and quinn decided to stay friends.

you had met jack through quinn, obviously, and from the moment that you met him his crush on you was obvious. he was quinn’s little brother though, and that was a boundary that you didn’t want to cross.

well, until jack invited you to the draft. he was thrilled when you pulled on his jersey for a picture (just as you had done for quinn the year before) and to this day his lock screen was a picture of you, new jersey devils hat perched atop your head and a big smile on your face. it wasn’t until just before new years during his first season that you finally agreed to go out with him and here you were, almost two years later, about to move out to new jersey with him for the season.

with the way that he had been acting, however, you were starting to second guess your decision.

“he knows the truth. i told him a million times that it doesn’t bother me and that the feelings i had for you are gone. we’re friends, y/n,” he insists and you nod. you hear someone clear their throat and you both look at jack, who’s suddenly a few feet from you.

“are you going back with quinn and my dad?” jack’s question is directed towards you, but he’s staring holes through his brother.

“if that’s gonna be how you speak to her, yeah she is,” quinn steps up and your hand wraps around his elbow, a move that jack takes notice of. “y/n-”

“it’s fine, q, see you at skeeps, yeah?”

quinn pulls you close, which really doesn’t help the situation, and his mouth hovers over your ear, “if he says anything to you or if you need me, text me. my dad and i will set him straight.”

he presses his lips to the side of your head, shoves his brother as he passes him, and gets into the passenger seat of their dad’s car. you and jack stare at each other for a moment before he holds out his hand. you give him the same treatment that he had given you, pushing past him to get into the car.

you stare out of the window as he gets in the driver’s seat, starting the car and pulling out of his spot. he gets behind his dad and with the post-game traffic, you knew it was likely you would be here for a while. “what is wrong with you jack?”

he scoffs, “there’s nothing wrong-”

“please don’t lie to me. i’m about to pick up and move my whole life to jersey for you in two weeks and if that’s-” your voice cracks as tears threaten to spill out of your eyes, “if that’s gonna be a mistake, i want to know now.”

“why would it be a mistake?”

“because of you, jack,” you lean your head back against the headrest and look at him. his hand rests on the steering wheel and his jaw is tight, “you’re not the same guy that you were a few months ago. you’re so, so cold towards me. like, we sleep in the same bed every night, but i have never felt further away from you.”

his breath hitches.

“can you please just tell me what’s going on? because if it’s about me and quinn-”

“do you think about him when you look at me?” his words make you tense up. he doesn’t look at you as he inches forward out of the parking lot, flicking on his blinker to go in the direction of his parents’ house. “when you look at me do you wish that i was quinn?”

“jack,” your voice shakes, “whatever happened between me and quinn is over. it’s in the past. you said that when we got together you were fine that we had history, but that you didn’t care.”

“he looks at you, y/n. he looks at you the way that i look at you. anyone can see that he still has feelings for you. the way that you acted around him at the game earlier-”

“how did i act, jack? because my boyfriend was ignoring me and i didn’t want to mope around the whole night? is that why you’re upset?”

“i’m upset because i’ll never be quinn,” his words form a pit in your stomach, but his next sentence makes your whole world crumble, “is that why you’re with me? because you couldn’t have quinn, you settled for his little brother.”

“jack, oh my god, i didn’t settle,” you reach out to grab onto his arm, but once again, he pulls it away, “me and quinn, we weren’t anything serious, ever. we’re better off as friends and that was a mutual decision. to this day, we still feel that way.

“i was with him tonight because you were acting like you wanted nothing to do with me and it was obvious. everyone fucking noticed, jack. do you know how embarrassing it was to get looks of pity because i was being shooed away by my boyfriend?”

“you were embarrassed?” he spits, “my girlfriend was all over my brother. even niko noticed.”

“you’re not even listening to me!” you let out an exasperated sigh and the two of you fall into silence. it stays like that for a minute before you break it, “take me home.”

“that’s where we’re going,” he scoffs.

“no, i don’t want to go to your parents’ house. i want to go to my house, alone.”

his eyes flick to you and he shakes his head before changing lanes, “whatever.”

ten of the most painstakingly quiet minutes of your life pass before he pulls into the guest spot of your apartment. your hand wraps around the door handle and you pause, turning to look at him for the final time, “i love you jack, so much, but if this is going to keep coming back up and being an issue, i think that it’s best that we don’t see each other anymore.”

“so, what does that mean?” he keeps his eyes glued to the building in front of him, hand covering his mouth, “we aren’t together anymore?”

“i think we both have some things that we need to figure out before we have that conversation,” you slide out of the car and plant your feet on the ground, closing the door.

you make it up onto the sidewalk before he calls out your name softly. you turn to look at him and you can see his watery eyes, “i love you.”

“let me know when you get home, please. you know that i worry,” you send him a nod before turning and making your way up the stairs to your apartment. he waits until you get inside before pulling away from your complex. you watch his tail lights as they disappear into the night and you wonder,

what did i just do?

[captnjacksparrow]

I just got into the fandom and I love it so much. However, there are parts where I just cringe. I’m going to be completely honest when I say I can’t see SS being a thing, a healthy one at that. A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him. I just... find it utterly bullshit. Hell, even I do ship narusasu, I tried to be open minded and not fall too far off canon or the characters. I don’t understand how Sasuke had those feelings for her when all he did was shown the opposite and it felt genuine. He seem always annoyed and pushes her away. She kept forcing her feelings on him when he makes it clear that he’s not interested. I don’t hate the ship because it’s not my ship but because it’s extremely toxic. It feels one-sided (Sakura’s side) more than anything and it’s makes it hard to believe he had those feelings for her. I mean, on the second episode of season five, she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive. She’s just like every other fangirl expect she’s on his team. I’m trying my best not to hate her but Damn she’s really pushing it. Anything that annoyed me was that she made it seem like they were dating, again making it about herself and her feelings. She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.” I just can’t with this ship. I’m still wondering why the hell is it even a thing? Also find it beyond pitiful how she stayed with Sasuke in Boruto when he left for 12-13 years?! No note. No checking up. Nothing. Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP. If that’s what true love looks like (good thing it’s not), then I’d die single. I can’t be the only one who thinks this ship is just as bad as Harley Quinn x Joker.

First off, Thanks for this lovely ask @larrycherry04 ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I've always wanted to write about this and your ask is the perfect timing.

Disclaimer: SS shippers, Sakura fans!!! Don’t read  this post!!

Me being an SNS shipper, I am just going to write this from a non-SNS perspective. Meaning, I am going to consider Naruto and Sasuke are just friends or rivals. 

Bear with my lengthy answer.

Where do I even begin?

A rumor said that Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

I think this rumor is from a light novel called Akatsuki Hiden or whatever shit. But for me, it looks like a pathetic attempt to convince those horny women shippers who would pay any money to read a romance which mirrors their own love life where they desire an ‘unreachable & handsome’ man who has this ‘cool & overbearing’ aura and carries this ‘bad boy badass’ vibe. They would do anything to get the attention from this boy. Until this point is where the reality ends. 

What they really wants to happen and fantasize is somehow that handsome man, one day, will look only them and recognize their love and becomes a ‘soft’ guy who would bring the heavens for them and treats her like a princess. That fantasy led them to buy these novels and believe everything while completely disregarding the canon material. And those novels are aimed at these type of women.

You must have been wondering now, ‘I have seen these type of shit somewhere’!!!!!

That’s right.

50 Shades of Grey, Twilight, Beauty and the Beast, 100′s of K-Drama, C-Drama follow this shit romance trope and it’s regrettably fucking popular. 

In other words, Don’t believe anything apart from the canonic resources. 

Let’s dissect the canon materials about SS.

TEAM 7 

This is how it all started

Does anyone see anything positive here???? 

Well, I am not.

Sakura wanted to impress Sasuke. Since, Naruto always picks fight with Sasuke, she badmouthed Naruto in the hopes that Sasuke will recognize some common ground with her which may develop into a friendship. But she shot her own foot. 

[Regardless, I hated her here and she never redeemed herself, for her being completely insensitive & oblivious towards Sasuke’s life, the boy she loves]

Technically, Sasuke should have said ‘You’re Annoying’ towards Naruto for kissing him before the class and tying him up later. Here, Sakura is simply badmouthing another guy. He, somehow, find this very annoying than anything Naruto did earlier. 

Sasuke always had feelings for Sakura but he didn’t know how to show them because hatred blinded him.

Am definitely not seeing any feelings here.  

ZABUZA ARC

Alright, much later, somehow Sasuke started to integrate into team 7 and started to see them as a Family. No denial here. He started to care about everyone in his team at some point. Which was evident from the way he thought to himself, ‘That was Sakura’s voice... What is Kakashi doing?’

But does it means he hopelessly fell in love with her??? Nope. 

It’s just a team camaraderie where he was worried about his teammate. If he has special feelings towards her, he should have said ‘I must go save Sakura’ or something along the line. 

But, later in that episode, he went on to die for Naruto and even at his dying moments he didn’t think about Sakura or Team 7. It was all about someone else.

Even seconds before falling into Naruto’s arms, Sasuke was smiling with no regrets. 

It was funny very later that after he got up from his temporary death, rather than consoling her like ‘Sakura, Don’t cry. Am alright’ or anything, he was asking ‘Where’s Naruto?’. LOL.

Even much later, when Sakura was asking him about a date, he bluntly said ‘I refuse’.

So, you’re telling me, throughout this arc, a boy blinded with hatred can able to pout, play childish games, train and die for a boy but when it comes to Sakura he can’t show his feelings???

Sorry, I don’t see romance here. Not in this arc.

Whether you agree or not, every parent has their favorite child, every child has their favorite parent. Even within your family, you always have a special person.

For Sasuke, Itachi was that person in his real family. Sakura was not that person in his Team 7 family. It was Naruto.

CHUNIN EXAMS ARC

This arc is where those SS shippers celebrates a lot and I know why. Remember earlier I talked about that shitty 50 Shades of Grey romantic trope??? The following scene vaguely falls under that pattern.

A guy loses his control because of a cursed seal and beats up the guys who hurt one of his teammates which happens to be a girl and calms down after seeing the girl. 

That Infamous back hug. 

I understand why SS people lose their mind with that scene. And I don’t blame them. I am going to throw their own proof at them.

So, this First databook, tells us that he finally sees both Naruto and Sakura as comrades and his heart softens from the path of revenge, a little bit.

Definitely, Sakura’s tears or love towards him stopped his rampage. But nothing says about whether Sasuke loves her back.  

Much later, Sasuke also stops his cursed seal on his own after thinking about worried Sakura and a screaming Naruto (Who don’t know about this seal thingy at that time). 

Well, whatever. That databook has another funny fact, that too in the same page. 

LOL. Weird!!!! This accidental kiss unravels Sasuke’s heart ❤️❤️???? 🤣🤣🤣

So, influencing Sasuke’s heart can be attributed to both his teammates,according to this databook. Atleast upto this arc. There are no special feelings for Sakura alone, guys. 

Proof?

If Sasuke really considers her in a romantic light (this is after that back hug), he doesn’t have to do this at all. Believe me, Love is all about subconsciously or purposefully enjoying or feeling little touches. Those touches can be through eyes, memories or physical. Sakura is delighted with his touch because she loves him but Sasuke just see her as a comrade and keeping his distance but this time very politely.

If Kishi really likes these couple, he doesn’t have to make this scene at all. It’s not just this one instance, he rejected her twice very bluntly before this saying ‘Don’t cling to me!!!’, ‘Sakura, you’re heavy!!!’. 

If you say her back hug is a token of romance, then I can say ‘this’ kiss is also a token of romance. You can’t ignore one while keeping the other.

Anyways, at the end of the arc, Orochimaru is the best judge to identify who can change Sasuke’s heart. And that person is not Sakura.

DEPARTURE

she confessed and poured out her heart and he blew it off. I cringed hard and was beyond disappointed because she’s making it about herself. That’s literally how I feel about their damn “relationship”. She made it about her and her only. When he’s hurting, it’s about her. It’s so annoying and it makes me see how self-centered Sakura. When she said she understood Sasuke, I wanted to scream (I nearly did but my family is sleeping and I don’t need a lecture.) She doesn’t know Jackshit about Sasuke besides he’s the only survivor of his decease clan, he’s a loner who cares only about himself, and he’s attractive.

You know what, Larry??? You are 1000% right. 

But, atleast, I thought she was genuine in the first part of the proposal, like saying ‘Revenge is not good’.....bla bla.. Because, Revenge will never satisfy a person completely and I agree. Then she took a 180 degree by saying ‘Take me with you, Sasuke-Kun. I’ll make you happy’. This is where I lost it entirely. ‘Alright Bitch, So you really don’t care about his revenge or health. As long as you have the chance to get inside his pants, you are okay with it. So you are okay with Sasuke going to Orochimaru as long as you are with him..... Fucking Shit!!!!’  This is not okay at all. 

How did Sasuke respond?

“Why should I have to tell you anything”

“I’m telling you to keep your nose out of my business”

“Stop bothering me over everything I do”

Ummm..... where I come from, this screams ‘Irritation’ to me. Added to it, throughout the whole conversation he never saw her face. There was evidently no pain or anything from his face. On top the cake, here comes the cherry

“You really are...annoying”

This is where he saw her face throughout that painful confession before knocking her out. Umm... When you love someone or atleast feel for someone, you will look in their eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave. Or atleast show some pain??? There’s visibly nothing from Sasuke’s face. 

Alright, I know what SS wankers will pull out here. That Databook 2 with some vague words. I am going to throw this at them. 

Again, like I acknowledged before, he considers her as a comrade and part of a family. So, her existence also eased his loneliness. But you have to look at the word choice here. “The one that filled his lonely existence was Sakura”. It’s not the ‘Only’ person. Before he left he said ‘Thanks’. Meaning, Thanks for all these days. That’s all between us. 

This piece was about the Team 7 picture. So he acknowledges, he was not alone during his genin days because of his companions and Kakashi (so it’s not just Sakura to ease his loneliness). Whatever he said to Sakura was real. 

So can we safely confirm “You’re annoying” is real????

But what’s really interesting is the way Sasuke projects himself before Naruto. I am going to refrain myself from attaching all those rollercoaster of emotions flowed throughout the fight in VoTE 1. Otherwise, it will become an SNS post. 

However, this particular scene caught my attention.

Ummm.... Initially Sasuke walks without looking at Naruto. Then he looks back and answers him. 

Naruto was pretty much asking the same question as Sakura. “Why does it come to this?”

But Sasuke pauses and surprised for a moment and asks him pretty much “Why do you care about me?”

Why couldn’t Sasuke do the same with Sakura???? Kishi can pretty much make a panel or two rather than making some insulting panels.

Anyways, If they throw the databook, then I can also throw the same.

Alright, can someone explain the highlighted sentence for me???? Because I want to confirm whether I have a blurry vision.

Here, Sasuke is trying to punctuate Naruto as a different person from the rest of his companions. ‘his companions as well as that with Naruto’, I mean, Come on!!!! Naruto is also one of your companions along with Sakura. Why differentiate????

‘The village, companions, Naruto,....’ . Again....He is differentiating his home (village), companions (his friends), and Naruto. So who is Naruto for him? What is the need to make exception for Naruto? It’s very clear he is placing Naruto at a high pedestal for some unknown reasons.

Before this Databook dissection, remember I said something about saying Goodbye, ‘ When you love someone or at least feel for someone, you will look into that person’s eyes and speak some farewell words before you leave‘

Sasuke is doing exactly that here in this scene without saying anything.

Am sorry SS shippers, you can scream all you want about Sasuke knocked her out and left her on the bench. But there was no emotional distraught when he left her. Sasuke seemingly spent a longer time staring at Naruto than looking at Sakura when she confessed. 

OROCHIMARU HIDEOUT

Well, there is nothing I can say about here for SS. He pretty much saw her and said, “Sakura, huh?”.. And that’s all. He didn’t give two shits about her. 

His attention was completely on someone else. 

UNDER THE BRIDGE

She sent Naruto to get Sasuke for her benefits, so she can keep him. Again, disregarding Sasuke’s feelings and what he wanted. Naruto should’ve said “I’ll bring him back because HE wants too, to keep HIM safe, not for you.”

Naruto pretty much said the same thing in this arc, Larry. Naruto, in part 1, was happy for Sakura feeling the same about Sasuke as him, that is ‘To bring him back’. And also sad that his crush really loves someone else. But after Sakura gave up on Sasuke and faking her confession, Naruto decided, ‘Alright, I want to save him personally. I don’t care about our promise anymore”. 

This is where, SS ship goes into a crazy ride and it’s not a positive one.

Sasuke was on a rampage. He lost the ability to differentiate between his friends and foes. He stabbed Karin. And when he find her alive, he was about to Chidori her. 

And then comes the pink princess, full of lies and deceit. And Sasuke being impatient and disgusted with her lies, he does this

Well, in part 1, she had a degree of power to change his heart. But not here. He, instead, got riled up more and even tried to kill her without a warning and that too by not looking at her face. Pathetic!!!!

This scene screams ‘Trust issues’ from both sides. 

Did it stop here???

Fucking Shit!!!!!! Is there any people who still ship this nonsense?. If you are a Sakura fan, you should hate her for the lack of trust and backstabbing the person she loves, 

If you are a Sasuke fan, errrrmmm.....I have nothing to say. You know what to do. 

There is nothing positive here, that can make me ship them. He is killing her like a Mosquito.

If you truly loved someone in the past, even in your darkest moments, you will be honest and you cannot fake before that person.   

Proof??

Here, Sasuke had a clear resolve to kill his brother, Itachi. He lived for this moment for about 8 years and immersed himself in Darkness for 3 years with Orochimaru. He could have run away, dodge or look away from Itachi. But Sasuke simply couldn’t!!! You know why?? Sasuke loved Itachi once more than anything in this world. At this moment, he is letting all those defense loose and embracing the moment and see what Itachi was about to do. Because somewhere in his heart he trusts Itachi. 

But killing Sakura doesn’t make Sasuke feel anything. She is just another victim like Danzo or Karin or all those Samurais or a fucking mosquito!!!!

So you are telling me that Sasuke had feelings for her but kept it hidden all along and still tried to kill her like a pest???

Give me a fucking break!!!!

And you all know, who changed Sasuke’s heart here in this scene. It was not Sakura. There’s absolutely no reason for Sasuke to listen to that person and what’s more, Sasuke even made a promise (despite being in darkness, he had it in his heart to listen to that person) to destroy Konoha only after killing that person .. 

WAR ARC

Well, this is the arc where Sakura behaves like a rabid dog on heat waiting for Sasuke and shamelessly trying to wag her tails. But Sasuke didn’t give two shits about her, not once or twice but multiple times.

MOMENT 1

An explosion was about to kill the whole shinobi alliance and this dude wants to save Jugo, his companion and Naruto, the person who will challenge his Revolution, his rival and the one whom he wants to kill. Why only Naruto??? Why not Naruto and Sakura???

Pink cherry Queen doesn’t even crossed Sasuke’s mind.  Because he already threw her away in part 1. 

MOMENT 2

Alright Bitch!!! The entire shinobi alliance was dying on the other side of the battlefield. And this asshole is doing a clownshow before Madara just to get inside Sasuke’s pants????

I mean, Come On!!!! 

Well, if Sasuke truly likes her, he should be the one to have catched her or atleast should have asked her, ‘are you alright??’ 

I am sorry, where are the romantic feelings???

MOMENT 3

ROFLLLL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

For the first time, Kishimoto is trolling those Sakutards through Sasuke’s words, what we, readers were right about all along. He is calling her useless here. And still these fake feminazis trying to ship her with him???

Don’t you guys have any self respect??? If so, this should be the moment to jump out of this trash ship.

MOMENT 4

Geez!!! You are still on this ship????? 

He clearly doesn’t want to save her at all. The hawk can clearly lift 3 people. Sasuke is not even making an effort here. 

And you are still yapping that he is blinded by darkness??? 

MOMENT 5

This is the moment SS calls it as ‘eyesmex’... While in reality, he was just looking at her and silently thanking her for helping him out. Do you know what is a real ‘eyesmex’??? I will attach it at the end.

If you guys pull this as true love, then he should have stayed in the same love till the end. But Sasuke has other ideas. 

This is the one of the funniest thing in this arc. LOLLLLL

Instead of being relieved that Sakura was saved, Sasuke was wondering about Kakashi’s Susanoo.....and Sharingan. 

Do people still think he cares about her????

MOMENT 6

Am cackling here, while dissecting the sorry state of this ship guys 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣!!!! If something good happens to me because of SS , it’s just the way you guys are making me laugh by making a clown out of yourself!!!!

Do you guys know something? There was a man named Itachi. Before massacring his clan, the very first person he killed was his ‘supposed’ Girlfriend, named Izumi. I wouldn’t say Itachi loved her like a lover boy. It was just one sided on her part. He just talks to her when he finds a spare time and considers her a good friend. 

Do you know how he killed her? 

By putting her in a ‘Tsukuyomi’. And what kind of Tsukuyomi, you ask?

Can you see how he fulfilled her dreams gracefully before he was going to kill her???

Why didn’t Sasuke do this???? Why particularly select a murdering genjutsu????

MOMENT 7

He said it, finally.

He don’t love her at all. There was no hidden feelings. He admitted from his own mouth. 

One day later, after the final VoTE battle ends.... After exchanging some intense feelings and even crying tears of happiness with Naruto....

Sasuke tells Sakura, ‘Sorry’....

Ummm.... That’s all???

All those negative shits happened before cannot be solved by just simply saying ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thank you’. If someone has an ounce of self-respect, they should know this is not OKAY at all...🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️🙅🏻‍♀️

Am Sorry, but Sasuke was just being politely blunt, kind of insincere towards Sakura and turned his attention somewhere else in a matter of minutes. He was not even bothered by Sakura’s tears here. Instead staring at someone on his left. Remember I talked about touching the person physically and visually?

Sasuke is subconsciously or purposefully touching someone on his left through his eyes. Definitely it’s not Sakura. You know who it is. Remember SStards’ infamous ‘eyesmex’... I seriously believe this is a perfect example of ‘eyesmex’.

All these intense looks and feeling pain still doesn’t serve Sakura, even after pulled out of darkness. If there is a moment, where SS wants to shine, then this is where it should be. He should have told her, how he missed her all along, how he felt about hurting her, should have wiped her tears and some corny shit. But instead, Sasuke went for a long ass monologue for his friend and talking about sharing his pain. 

What about your kween’s pain???? 

You don’t have to ship SNS. But you should know where Sasuke’s priorities are. 

It’s not Sakura. 

Sasuke said ‘Sorry’ to Karin too. ‘Thank you’ to Kakashi as well. 

And what’s even more pathetic is, still Sakura wants to get inside Sasuke’s pants by accompanying him. Bitch, you can help your village, console your best friend Ino who lost her father, try to surpass Tsunade, improve your skills or whatever... Why bother him???

So, if you really think ‘Thank you’ as a token of love, then I can’t help it but term Sakura as a rabid dog who waits for her master to come home and throw some bones whenever he finds time. Your standards for a romantic love is piss poor and you will suffer just like Sakura in Boruto with just emptiness. All Sasuke did was poke her forehead just like Itachi which symbolizes keeping someone at a distance. He also said the same words to her just like Itachi said to him many times ‘Mata kondo da’ meaning ‘Maybe next time’. And we all knew that next time never came for Sasuke. 

Now all we see is a Sasuke as an absentee father in Boruto for which I don’t blame him. He was never a marriage material in the first place. Sakura and the Manga Editors forced him and she is paying for it. 

Hell, Sarada doesn’t know how her own father looks like or the truth of her mother. Both of them were miserable and I find it absolutely ridiculous when SS shippers still say “they’re in love” or they’re OTP.

All I want to say to SS shippers is, Your Ship Has Sailed Already. You cannot expect Sasuke to go lovey dovey towards Sakura with a 12 year old daughter around and for fuck’s sake, this is not a romance manga, it’s a battle manga. So stop dreaming about this kind of non-existential romance and pull yourself altogether.

[homoose]

Through the Smoke

Request: could you do spencer x bau reader where they aren't dating yet but they both feel for each other? where both spencer and reader are very closed off people and the whole team knows that. but after one rough case on the flight back, they're both just exhausted mentally and physically and seek comfort in each other. then spend the night at reader's apartment and kiss for the first time there. sorry if this is specific but thank you (:

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: angst with a happy ending

Warnings/Includes: typical CM stuff, cults, kidnapping, violence, etc.

Word count: 8.1k

Music recs: Through the Fire by Jake Etheridge and Margot Todd; scared by Jeremy Zucker

a/n: anon, I have no idea if this is what you were looking for, but this is where it went. It’s a generous rewrite of 300, substituting the reader for Garcia. Also this blog operates with the understanding that the season 14 jeid arc does not exist lmao. JJ is firmly in the “I love you as a brother” camp and I will not be taking questions at this time. Also, this is a reminder that my requests are open! send me some fresh ideas, head cannons, rambles, whatever! 

———

“Metro PD and the Bureau have been made aware of the Believers and possible activity following their leader’s arrest,” Prentiss confirmed, looking out over the team mingling in the bullpen. “But taking Theo at his word—”

“We only arrested three. There’s probably more out there, but if they follow cult dynamics, they’ll break down on their own without the messiah,” Matt finished.

“Typical cults: you think it’s a cast of thousands when really it’s just four whackos sitting around in the dark,” Tara mused.

Prentiss smiled. “I think we deserve some decompression time, and Rossi’s kind enough to host.”

Rossi leaned over the railing and nodded. “And I have some top shelf wine picked just for the occasion.”

The team started gathering their belongings and heading towards the elevators. Y/N hesitated, looking toward the case file still sitting on her desk. Something about how this had all wrapped up just… didn’t sit right. Her nearly five years with the Critical Incident Response Group had given her an up close view of some of the most prolific cults in American history. She’d studied Jonestown, Waco, Ruby Ridge, Liberty Ranch; new cults emerged onto CIRG’s radar regularly. And there was something about The Believers that just didn’t add up.

Y/N began shuffling things around on her desk, trying to look busy. She caught Spencer and JJ out of the corner of her eye, talking quietly. They ended their conversation with a hug, lingering just a little longer than Y/N would have preferred. She shook her head to try to physically clear the thought from her brain. She knew that Spencer had been through a lifetime’s worth of trauma before she joined the team, and that JJ had been an integral support for him. Y/N was also aware that she had zero grounds to be concerned with any of Spencer’s relationships, romantic or otherwise.

“Y/N, you coming?” JJ asked, walking toward her desk. Spencer headed out of the bullpen and down the hall.

Y/N gave her a half-hearted smile. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a little bit. Just wanted to finish up a couple things here.”

“Well, don’t stay too late.” JJ pressed her lips together for a moment before adding, “Maybe you and Spence could drive together. He said he might not make it, but if he had some company...”

Y/N hoped her immediate flush wasn’t too obvious. After nearly a year in the unit, she finally felt like she had built some solid relationships with the team, and Spencer was no exception. She relished their card games on the jet, the laughs over too-sweet coffee, discussions about books and films and music. But she also adored the way his hair sometimes curled and fell into his eyes, his animated and rambling tangents, the way his hands traced over the tiny print of his books. Most of her adult life had been spent surrounded by men who would gather up her trust in their pitted hands and crush it on a whim. She’d kept her heart behind glass for a long while, but Spencer was slowly chipping away at the fragile panels. She was certain he had no idea that he was even holding the chisel; but just about everyone else seemed to have figured it out. JJ, with her hands clasped together and an eager smile, definitely had. Y/N smiled, too. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“So we’ll see you in a bit?” When Y/N nodded, JJ gave her a warm smile and headed out.

Turning back to the case file, Y/N pressed her fingers to her temple and looked over the documents. Some of the pieces fit together, but the whole case felt littered with gaps and holes. The tale that Theo had woven about The Believers seemed true enough— his parents were simply the suppliers of potential cult members. Although, she still couldn’t figure out the reason for the kidnapping and torture. There were much easier ways to recruit vulnerable people.

She flipped past the pages of written statements and read over the report from the warehouse raid. It was short— the take down of Merva was too easy. Why was he sitting alone in an empty warehouse with only two unarmed, sleeping followers as a defense? Where was the rest of the cult? Matt was correct that most cults fall apart without their leader; unless the loss of a leader was a possibility they’d already prepared for.

The burns on Quinn’s hands didn’t make sense, either. Why use the initiation ritual as a torture device? Shouldn’t that be saved for people who had accepted the invitation? And then there was the one coincidence that nagged at her the most: what were the chances that Theo just happened to be enrolled in Spencer's course? Why did Spencer seem to be at the center of the whole thing?

Y/N sighed as her phone lit up with a message from JJ. She realized she’d been poring over the file for twenty-five minutes, and she had to laugh. As the least experienced profiler on the team, what could she possibly see that the others hadn’t? She closed the case file and quickly packed up, grabbing her jacket and bag and making her way toward the elevator lobby. She paused at the glass doors, retrieving her phone and pulling up Spencer’s contact information. Her thumb hovered over the call button for a long moment before she huffed out a breath. If even JJ hadn’t been able to convince him to go, there was no way she’d be able to change his mind. Despite herself, she glanced down the hall, allowing herself one moment to imagine an alternate timeline where she asked him to come along with her— to Rossi’s, to the moon, anywhere.

With a sigh, Y/N pushed open the glass doors and saw Agent Meadows leading Quinn to the elevator. She pushed down the little red flag in the back of her mind. As she stepped onto the elevator, she smiled politely at the two agents.

“I knew you didn’t do it. I just knew,” Meadows said to Quinn. She turned to Y/N. “And I can’t tell you what a privilege it’s been working with the A-Team on this case.”

Something about the calm in her voice made Y/N uneasy. “Yeah, it’s— um. It’s a great team to be a part of.” Her phone lit up again, this time with a phone call from JJ. “Okay, okay,” she muttered under her breath. Y/N answered the call, half an ear still listening to Meadows speak to Quinn. “Hey, I’m just leaving now.”

“Are you still at the BAU?” JJ demanded, voice low.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry. But I’m in the elevator,” Y/N answered.

“Listen, we’re pretty sure Quinn was converted,” JJ told her. Y/N’s heart dropped into her shoes. “I need you to make sure he doesn’t leave that building. We’re coming back now. Where’s Spence?”

Y/N took a breath to try to even out her voice before speaking again. “Mom, we already talked about this. I don’t know.”

JJ paused. “Is Quinn in the elevator with you?”

“Yep.” JJ spoke quietly to someone on the other end of the phone. Y/N watched as the elevator dinged to the floor of the parking garage. “I’m going to have to hang up, mom. I’m gonna lose you, but I’ll try to take care of it tonight, okay?”

“Y/N, we’re on our—” The call dropped as the elevator hit the basement level.

Y/N took a deep breath to steady her voice. “Ugh, lost her.” She glanced at Meadows and Quinn, forced a smile and shrugged. “Elevators, right?”

The elevator doors began to open and Y/N stepped out, surreptitiously reaching for her holster. She had just lifted the strap when she heard the crack of metal hitting bone. Her face hit the concrete before she realized it was her own skull that bore the impact. She watched as her gun skidded across the parking lot floor, the taste of iron flooding her mouth. “Fuck,” she muttered, wincing in pain and scrambling up off the ground as a gunshot went off.

She didn’t feel the impact of the bullet. She looked down at her body, expecting to see a blooming rose of blood. She stared dumbly for a second too long, before remembering that she needed to get to her gun. Her hand instinctively went to her nose as she stumbled forward, coming away wet with blood.

“Stop, Agent Y/L/N.”

She heard the sound of a gun cocking, and then another. She closed her eyes and ran through an internal stream of curses. Raising her hands up, she turned slowly around. An older white man stood to her left, his gun trained on her. Meadows walked slowly towards her, lowering her own weapon. Quinn leaned against the back of the elevator, clutching his abdomen and blood staining the front of his shirt.

“Surprise,” Meadows sang, a sick smile spreading across her face. She stopped in front of Y/N, sweeping her hand in the direction of the man. “Now, John’s going to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Get in the car.”

Y/N glanced in the direction of the vehicle, a dark sedan, driver armed to the teeth as well. “The team knows something’s up. You won’t make it out of this garage alive.”

Meadows laughed, loud and unhinged. “Oh honey. They’re not looking for lil ol’ me. And they sure as hell won’t be looking for an ambulance.” Her smile returned. “Plus, I already erased 299 murders from the Bureau’s radar. What’s a couple more? Now, shut up... and get in the car.”

Y/N moved to the open car door, keeping her back as straight as possible and her chin up, refusing to show them any cowardice. The barrel of the gun jabbed her in the back as she lowered herself into the vehicle. The door slammed shut, and in a moment, the gun was back on her, the man sitting next to her in the backseat. Y/N waited for the car to pull out, still trying to make sense of it all. Meadows was a Believer? What did she mean by “erased” 299 murders? Why would she blow her cover to shoot Quinn? Did she think that he had figured her out? Or that Y/N had? If that was the case, why not just shoot her? Why wasn’t the car moving?

“Drop your gun, Agent Reid,” Meadows’ muffled voice penetrated the inside of the vehicle. Y/N’s heart began to race. John dug the gun further into her side.

“It’s been you the whole time,” Spencer deduced.

“Yes, it was. Quinn somehow figured it out first. Pity having to shoot him,” Meadows mocked. “But he can’t give me what I want. And you can.”

“What’s that?” Y/N’s brain scrambled to put the pieces together as she listened to the exchange. Spencer was at the heart of it after all. It was right there, she just couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Meadows continued, “You and I are going to go upstairs and free my Messiah.”

“You’re in the heart of the FBI. As soon as the rest of my team figures out it’s you, you’ll be dead before you’re out the door.” Y/N hoped to god that he was right.

“Then we need to work quickly.”

“I’m not going to cooperate with you,” Spencer told her. “Might as well shoot me.” Y/N didn’t even have time to panic before the car shifted into drive.

“I have a better idea.” On Meadows’ cue, the driver squealed out of the parking space and into Spencer’s line of sight. His eyes fell on Y/N, hands nearly pressed against the window, John’s gun pointed at her head. “Now, what’s it gonna be? Because you can either join us, or she dies.”

Y/N tried to radiate her rage through her eyes and screamed, “Reid, just shoot her! Shoot her!” The last thing she saw before the second crack of steel against her skull was the hesitation in Spencer’s eyes.

⧭⧭⧭

Y/N’s eyes fluttered open and she groaned at the pounding of her head, the rhythm of her heartbeat throbbing in the space behind her ears. She tried to lift her hand to check for blood, only to strain against the hold of a zip tie attached to the base of the chair. Instead, she surveyed the room around her. A warehouse, lots of shipping containers, and even more men— this time armed with assault rifles and machine guns. One stood at the entrance point of the small area she was being kept in.

She worked through her memory, putting the pieces together. Meadows was a Believer, had been for quite some time to pull all of this off. Quinn wasn’t special, he just got in the way of her real target. Ben Merva might have been the messiah, but Spencer Reid was clearly just as important to whatever mission they were carrying out. Every twisting thread of information somehow traced back to him: Theo in his class, Quinn’s attachment to him, Meadows’ demand that he be the one to free Merva.

“Good, you’re awake.” Meadows strode through the space with a laptop in hand. “I need your handiwork.”

Y/N stared at her. “Is that so?’

Meadows set the laptop on the barrel in front of Y/N and then leaned down to cut the zip tie. “Besides being my collateral for the good doctor, you’re also going to help me access CIRG’s surveillance data.”

“Fuck you.” Y/N spat on Meadows’ shoes. “I’m doing nothing for you.” Her head rolled back, eyes piercing daggers into Meadows. “You should just kill me now, because this is a waste of your time. And I’m sure you know the A-Team isn’t going to waste theirs.”

Meadows narrowed her eyes and gave a theatrical sigh. “I should’ve known you’d make this difficult.” She nodded to John, standing at the entranceway.

Y/N spat again, this time to rid her mouth of the taste of blood. She steeled herself for the next onslaught, compartmentalizing every emotion outside of her fury. Her mind raced to salvage and scrutinize the memories from her time in CIRG, trying desperately to identify what Meadows could be looking for in the surveillance reports. The Believers hadn’t even been on the Bureau’s radar. The reason had to be linked to their interest in Spencer… a piece of information that involved both Spencer Reid and the existing surveillance data. A single grain that could bring the whole damn bushel down.

She heard a scuffle at the entrance of the room and raised her head. Her heart jumped into her throat at the sight of Spencer, bloodied and bruised. John dragged him into the room, throwing him down onto his knees in front of Y/N. His eyes tracked over her face and clouded over with an emotion she couldn’t quite place.

“Shit, Reid—”

“I’m fine—I’m sure it looks worse than it is,” he murmured. The concern in his eyes told Y/N she looked about as bad as she felt. “Are you all right?”

“I should’ve seen it. I should’ve known—”

“No,” Spencer interrupted. “This isn’t your fault. We all missed it.”

“What’s the end game here?” Y/N asked. “What’re they doing?”

“I’m going to be their last victim.” Spencer shook his head, barely able to keep himself upright. “I don’t know why, but I overheard them. There have been hundreds.”

Meadows stepped up behind Spencer, grinning at Y/N. “Have you changed your mind? I sure hope you have.” She raised her gun to his head. “Because if you don’t do what I want, I’ll blow his big, beautiful brains out.”

Spencer locked eyes with Y/N. She held his gaze for a moment, then tilted her head slightly as the gears started turning. The tie between Spencer and Benjamin was where it all unraveled. “No, I don’t think you will.”

Meadows’ grin faltered for less than a second, but it was long enough that Y/N knew she was right. “Is that right?” Meadows questioned.

“Yeah, it is.” She furrowed her brow, and Spencer looked at her. “You need him, don’t you? Alive.” Meadows’ tongue darted out to wet her lips, and Y/N was sure. “Because this isn’t just about Benjamin Merva. It’s about Benjamin Cyrus. It’s about Liberty Ranch.”

Meadows held her gaze for five seconds, then ten seconds. Y/N raised her chin, refusing to be the one to blink first. Meadows shifted the trajectory of her gun a foot to her right and fired off one shot. The breeze from the bullet shifted Y/N’s hair.

“You have two minutes to decide,” Meadows advised. The phone in her hand began ringing. “The next one won’t miss.” She answered the phone and stepped out.

Spencer spoke quickly. “Do whatever she’s asking. We have to get you out of here.”

“Reid, are your eyes broken?” Y/N snapped. “There’s a cult loyalist with a machine gun every five feet. You got a plan for that?”

“Listen to me.” His voice was calm, determined. “You’re right about them wanting me alive.”

The frustration bled through Y/N’s voice. “You should have just shot her.”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that.”

“You could’ve shot all three of them and ended this in the garage,” Y/N argued.

“And then I would have watched you die,” he said quietly. “That was never even an option.”

“I’m failing to see how that would have been any worse than this. Look at us.” She gestured wildly between them. She watched as the storm of emotion returned, a cyclone swirling in seas of gold and brown. “The team needs you. Spencer, I—” I need you. She reached a hand up, almost touching his face before dropping it back in her lap. He had found the chink in her carefully constructed armor; a fissure he’d fractured a little further with every smile, every look, every moment. All at once she knew she’d never be able to keep him out, no matter how much it might hurt.

“You’ve got one minute,” Meadows barked, hovering over them.

“Y/L/N, listen to me… Please...” Spencer’s voice was thick with tears. “Tell my mom—” The phone rang again, and Meadows stepped away to answer it. Spencer dropped to a whisper. His eyes flashed with urgency. “They’re taking me and Theo. We’ll distract them. The car we were in is right outside the door. We’re 18 minutes from Quantico. Turn left outside the parking lot, take a right at the light, you’ll recognize the rest. They stay off the highways.”

Y/N’s voice was frantic when she asked, “What about you?”

His eyes pleaded with her to respect what he was asking her to do. “I’ll delay them. Get the rest of the team back here. And do not worry about me.” John hauled up him off the floor.

“Time’s up.” Meadows, in a rare display of mercy, allowed them a hug.

Spencer leaned into her and Y/N wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She squeezed as hard as she could and whispered his name. She felt him take a deep breath into her hair, holding it for one impossibly long moment. Just before she released her hold on him, he mumbled, “It’s all happening. 10:23.” John dragged him back out the way they’d came.

“I gave you what you wanted.” Meadows ordered, “Get to it. Now.”

⧭⧭⧭

Y/N worked and waited, then watched and worried. Spencer spoke to Meadows. He was stalling her, offering a deal, boosting her ego, granting Y/N the opportunity to mentally prepare. But no matter how much time he gave her, she would never be prepared to leave him in that warehouse. He met her eyes across the movements of the operation and gave her an imperceptible nod before lunging forward to reach for John’s gun.

Chaos exploded throughout the warehouse. Theo ran in one direction, accosted by half a dozen Believers. Spencer and John tussled over the gun, one fighting for control and the other fighting the inevitable. Y/N sprinted, largely unnoticed, toward the huge sliding doors left slightly ajar. Bursting out into the night air, she immediately spotted one of the black sedans, unbelievably unlocked and with the keys in the ignition. She slammed the door behind her, turned the key, hesitated with her eyes on the door and her mind on Spencer for one moment too long. A single gunshot sounded from inside the warehouse.

Meadows raced out of the doorway, gun drawn. “Stop!” She pointed her gun at Y/N and there was nothing to do but step on the gas. Y/N had her eyes wide open as Meadows bounced off the windshield and onto the asphalt. She didn’t look back.

She drove. Left out of the parking lot. Just a dark, rural road—nothing particularly special or descript. She drove. Right at the stoplight. Then it was, just as Spencer said, familiar terrain. She wondered how it was possible to have seemed so far away— a world away— when it was right under their proverbial nose. She drove.

Her brain navigated of its own volition. Her mind couldn’t have been farther from the inside of the vehicle. She didn’t realize she’d arrived at the Bureau until she was attempting to pull into her usual parking spot, only to be met with her own abandoned car.

She turned the car off, left the keys in the ignition, and nearly floated out into the garage; up the elevator; across the cold floors of the lobby. Her body had walked this same path so many times before; it carried her without hesitation. She could hear the voices of the team, drifting through the open glass doors.

“She accepted their help knowing she would betray the government,” Tara deduced.

“Not every survivor wanted help,” JJ clarified.

Rossi continued, “We ran those who left the ranch and kept their names. A few relocated in rural Maryland and Virginia.”

“They could be helping now,” Luke suggested. “Any of them have large pieces of property?”

“A few,” Emily confirmed. Y/N turned the corner as she continued, “The Washington field office has started searches in Maryland. We’ll take the lead in Virginia.”

As she moved into the doorway, JJ’s eyes went wide and she rushed to Y/N’s side. “Oh my god, are you hurt?” She gently grabbed Y/N by the shoulders.

“It’s a warehouse in Hillcrest,” Y/N said flatly, eyes unfocused. “I can take you there, but we have to hurry. They hurt Reid; he looked— bad. He told me to r-run and take the car, but he’s still there.” Everyone headed for the doors except JJ and Garcia. “They won’t be there long, they have lots of trucks.” Y/N’s eyes locked on JJ, and for the first time since the whole ordeal started, she allowed herself to splinter, just a little. “I heard a gunshot. JJ, I heard a gunshot. I tried—”

“Shh, it’s okay,” JJ nodded, drawing her into a hug. “I know. I know you tr—”

“I left him there.” Her voice broke, but she couldn’t cry. Not yet. “I couldn’t get him. There was no way to save hi—”

“Stop,” JJ ordered, pulling out of the hug. “Y/N, look at me. You got out, you got back to us. If you hadn’t, we wouldn’t even know about the warehouse.”

“What if— what if I got him killed?” Y/N asked.

“You didn’t get anyone killed. Spence knew what he was doing.” JJ’s voice softened. “That’s what he does. He always figures things out before the rest of us. He has a plan and getting you back to Quantico was part of it.” She raised her eyebrows, making sure Y/N was listening. “And now we have to help him by putting the rest of it together.”

Y/N ran a hand over her face. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right.”

Garcia stepped forward and laid a hand on her arm. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Then we’ll get Reid back.”

They cleaned the blood from her face and hair as best they could in the bathroom sink. JJ patched up the lacerations with steri-strips. Back in the conference room, Garcia insisted she should get screened for a concussion as Y/N rubbed the knot on the back of her head. “There’s no time. Reid said, ‘It’s all happening. 10:23.’”

“But it’s past that,” JJ considered.

“So what did he mean?” Garcia asked.

“Could be a clue here.” Rossi's voice came over the speakerphone from inside the warehouse. “They got sloppy since they left in a hurry.”

“Okay, well you can’t be that far behind them,” JJ insisted.

“I know,” Emily agreed. “But there’s easy access to three major highways, and we don’t know which way they went.”

“Right, but they’re in tractor trailers. That means we can track them through weigh stations.”

“Garcia?” Emily prompted.

“In order to do that, I’d need the transponder identification numbers,” Garcia answered.

“Which we have no way of knowing,” Rossi sighed. “Everything they used was almost definitely forged.”

“We’re going to do another sweep here, and then we’ll head back,” Emily said. “Try to map out the most likely routes they’d use to get out of dodge.”

JJ hung up and looked to Y/N. “What do you remember about the warehouse?”

Y/N pressed her fingers into her temples. “It was full of supplies. They were disguising them, but they had stockpiles of weapons and ammunition; non-perishables and other food items; water. Enough to be off the grid for at least a year.” Y/N leaned back in her chair. “But it wasn’t just about The Believers. I mean, we know they’re a reincarnation of the Separatarian Sect.” She looked at JJ and Garcia. “It was more than that, though. Reid was at the center of everything; he was the target all along. Merva is the messiah, but it somehow all comes back to Spence.”

“Makes sense. They blame him for the downfall of the Sect,” JJ supplied.

“Yeah.” Y/N cracked her knuckles. “But—and I can’t—I can’t really explain it, but Meadows really wanted to kill Reid right then. She was— she was irritated, more than anything else.”

“So what stopped her?” Garcia asked.

“That’s what I can’t figure out. She threatened me with it, with ‘blowing his brains out,’ but I— called her bluff. And she was pissed.” Y/N rapped her knuckles on the table. “I mean, really, really furious. Which tells me that, even though she wanted to,  she couldn’t kill him.” She looked between the two of them. “Merva was pulling the strings, and he wouldn’t let her do it there.”

“So it matters where the final sacrifice takes place,” JJ concluded. “We’ve got to figure out where they’re going.”

⧭⧭⧭

They’d been rehashing the details over and over. Liberty Ranch, The Strangler investigation, The Believers, Meadows, Merva, Cyrus, 300 victims, the hyoid bones, all of it. About the only thing they knew for sure was how far the cult could get in the trucks. Spencer could have told them the exact square mileage, but the potential geographical range of the trucks was dauntingly large. Y/N tried not to panic as she stared at the map.

“If this is about a Believer's rebirth, babies are born with 300 bones,” JJ said. “And they’re taking the hyoids.”

“And the hyoids we had in evidence are missing, which means Merva needed them back,” Tara reasoned. “And that means they mean more to the end game than we thought.”

Y/N felt her patience waning. “But why did Reid need us to know it all happens at 10:23?” Y/N hated that her voice sounded snappy and desperate. “That’s got to be important. It’s the last thing he said to me.”

Matt put his hand on her shoulder. “Listen, you’re right. It means something to him. We’re trying to figure it out.”

“Yeah, well, we better figure it out soon.” Y/N shrugged off his hand, pushed back from her seat at the conference room table, and turned for the door. She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Every minute they spent floating ideas was another mile between them and Spencer. Another moment closer to losing him. She shoved the bathroom door open, hurrying into the stall and emptying the contents of her stomach.

She slumped back against the side of the stall, head gently knocking into the cool metal. She needed to pull herself together. The team was always strongest when they did their group think sessions, building upon each other’s knowledge and perspectives and filling in the gaps. If they’d done more of that earlier— if she’d had the confidence to call it out as soon as she saw the holes, Spencer might not be locked in the back of a truck, hundreds of miles away.

Y/N hoisted herself off the ground and out of the stall. She braced her hands on the counter top and tried to breathe evenly. She turned on the water and splashed her face, tapping against her cheeks. With water dripping down the planes of her face, she stared herself down in the mirror, willing her tired brain to make that last connection, to find that missing thread. It was all about the Benjamins, and she had a feeling that Cyrus was the key.

Y/N rolled her shoulders back and made her way to the conference room. She listened to their rotating conversation, knowing that this team was the only group of people capable of getting Spencer back alive.

“We have confirmation that there’s been no activity in or around the old ranch,” Matt informed them, pocketing his phone.

“If this is about rebirth, they’ll choose a new place,” Luke posited, arms crossed.

Tara leaned over the table. “Given their adoration of Cyrus and his love for the country, he’d want them to stay within our borders.”

“But Benjamin Cyrus wasn’t his real name, and he wasn’t born into the Sect,” Y/N reminded them quietly. Everyone turned to look at her. She gave an apology grimace to Matt. He just shrugged and smiled, motioning her over to the table.

Garcia nodded. “Right, let’s see. Uh, he and his mom arrived there when he was a teenager. He was kicked out for molesting girls. And then he served time in prison in Kentucky.”

“And that’s where he found religion,” Y/N recalled, thinking back to the report she’d studied dozens of times. “So he was reborn as Benjamin Cyrus in Kentucky.” She closed her eyes and flipped through her mental file cabinet, looking for 10:23.

“That’s within the area,” Garcia confirmed. “Maybe that’s where they’re headed?”

“Find out what city he was born in or where he was in prison,” Luke said. “We’ll spread out from there.”

“He found religion,” Y/N repeated, mostly to herself. “Chapter ten, verse twenty-three. 10:23 isn’t a time.” Y/N shook her head and then dragged her hand through her hair. “It’s scripture.”

“Let’s get in the air; we can narrow down which verse and city before we land,” Emily instructed.

⧭⧭⧭

“We’re approaching Kentucky; the pilot needs to know where to touch down,” Rossi informed them.

The team was scattered throughout the jet, scrolling through scripture on their tablets, reading out verses. Y/N held her chin in her hand, eyes unfocused, dragging a net along the furthest corners of her mind.

“Hey guys, listen to this,” JJ said. “Matthew chapter ten, verse twenty-three: ‘When you are persecuted in one place, flee to another.’”

“They’re going to the next town,” Emily said.

“Flee to the next town. But which one?” asked Garcia.

“Their end game is also a new beginning,” Rossi explained. “Cyrus brought religion back to the cult. They’d honor that by wanting to start fresh.”

Y/N raised her head. “Like the Garden of Eden.”

“That’s how 300 fits,” Tara concluded. “That was the number of angels that protected the Garden of Eden. Are there any Edens in Kentucky?”

The sound of Garcia tapping across the keyboard came through the laptop. “Um, no, but there are two synonyms: Canaan and Arcadia.”

“Cyrus is the original messiah. Which one is closer to where he was born?” Y/N asked.

“Arcadia,” Garcia informed them.

Y/N stood up. “That’s where they’re going.”

“Garcia, pull land deeds. I’ll notify SWAT,” Emily instructed.

JJ grabbed Y/N’s hand. “We’re going to get him.”

Y/N met her eyes. “I just hope we’re not too late.”

⧭⧭⧭

The new compound proved easy to find. In the middle of nowhere but illuminated by hundreds of lights, there were rows and rows of tents. The team began strategizing, looking for the best route to Spencer.

Emily tried to convince Y/N, now showing clear concussion symptoms, to stay with the SUVs.

“With all due respect, there is no way in hell that I’m going to sit in this car while Reid gets sacrificed by a homicidal cult leader,” Y/N said. There was a hushed pause, the team exchanging knowing glances.

“Fair enough,” Emily conceded. “Matt and JJ, I want you on the left side. Luke and Tara, the right. Dave and Y/N, you’re with me. We’re clearing every tent; eliminate any threat that would give away your position.” She unholstered her gun and swept her eyes across the team. “Our objective is to extract Reid with minimal loss.”

As they approached the first line of tents, Y/N could faintly hear Spencer speaking. “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Her heart hammered against her ribcage. “A time to be born and a time to die.” She could feel the blood rushing through her ears. “A time to weep and a time to pluck up that which has been planted.”

“Okay, he’s stalling,” Meadows snapped. “That’s enough!”

“All right. Let the sacrifice begin.” That was Merva now, riling up the followers. “Protect us from all harm.”

As Merva led The Believers in a monotone chant, Y/N tried to block it out. She scanned a tent, watched as SWAT took out a bodyguard, looked for Spencer. Rinse and repeat, again and again. It was taking too long.

“And we thank Our Guardian, who will protect this family now and always,” Merva’s voice rang out. “Spencer: keeper of provisions!” Y/N saw the gathering of followers, but she couldn’t see Spencer.

The SWAT commander stopped them. They had reached the final line of tents. He signaled to the leaders on each side. They were ready to strike.

Y/N’s eyes scanned the crowd. She could just barely make out some sort of hanging mobile, white u-shaped decorations suspended from string. The hyoids, she realized, a wave of nausea hitting her like a truck.

Merva continued, “You have given selflessly to others and will be rewarded by the highest honor we could bestow. Your blood will be our blood. Your life will fuel ours.”

A gunshot rang out. The followers gasped. There was a split second of calm before the bedlam. Y/N took a single breath. Then she heard Matt yell; saw John lift his rifle and be felled by a solo shot to the head; watched Luke take down another bodyguard directly after.

And then she saw him. Strapped down under a canopy of bones, Spencer was silent and unmoving. He didn’t struggle. He didn’t call out. And there was Merva, knife in hand— still trying to complete his mission.

She didn’t vacillate, barely breathed, just let her legs carry her forward. She heard Emily call out his name. When Merva turned, the curved blade of the knife poised at the column of Spencer's throat, Y/N’s trigger finger compressed. She felt the gun recoil, felt the force of the shot travel up her arm as she put a single bullet in his chest. As he fell, she didn’t stop, just stepped over him, knew one of the others would take care of it.

She tripped over the small platform Spencer was restrained on, stumbling and holstering her gun. Her hands moved over the straps, loosening the one over his waist, then the ones at his hands, finally pushing the leather from his head. He panted and muttered his thanks, but she didn’t dare speak, afraid that if she did, she’d never be able to stop. Instead, she flung her arms over his shoulders, pulling him down and close and over her heart. She wondered if he could feel the way it pummeled against her chest, because to her it felt like it might smash through at any moment. His arms came around her, chin resting on her shoulder, nose in her hair. She heard him inhale and hold his breath, a mirror of that last moment together in the warehouse. She held onto him as an overboard sailor holds a life ring: single-minded, unrelenting, desperate.

There was a touch on her opposite shoulder and Y/N swung around, adrenaline still racing through her veins. JJ put her hand out in a placating motion, and Y/N came back to herself, allowing JJ to step forward and help Spencer off the platform. Y/N let out a breath and reached a hand out to steady herself, only to flinch when it brushed one of the straps that had held Spencer down. Luke caught her on one side, Tara on the other. She grasped at them, her emotions teetering right along with her physical form. Luke pulled her out from under the macabre canopy and into a hug. Tara held her hand. For the first time since the parking garage, she let herself go.

⧭⧭⧭

The jet was quiet. The team was spread out around the cabin, each of them lost in their own heads. There was a tranquility over the space, one that only ever happened when unmitigated relief overwhelmed even the joy or fulfillment of a life saved.

Y/N sat in one of the single seats, across the aisle from where Spencer was settled. Tara and Luke had finally convinced her to get checked out by the EMTs, who had confirmed her concussion. She convinced herself that the fuzziness on the corners of her vision was just a symptom of that, not a product of the tears she was struggling to hold back.  

The team each stopped by Spencer’s seat, patting his shoulder, squeezing his hand, or in Rossi’s case, gently ruffling his hair. They all spoke briefly in hushed, grateful tones. All except Y/N. She couldn’t formulate a sentence that seemed adequate. There was simultaneously too much and nothing to say. Everything felt contrived or insufficient or intemperate.

Spencer was safe. They hadn’t been too late. He was bruised and undoubtedly sore, but ultimately, he’d been through worse. So why was her heart still aching? Why couldn’t she catch her breath? She hadn’t spoken more than a few words since leaving the raid, so why did her throat feel like it was on fire? She closed her eyes, leaned her head back. She incessantly pressed her hands together, trying to crack her sore knuckles over and over again.

A pair of hands gently closed over her own, stopping the abuse, and she didn’t have to open her eyes to know who they belonged to. His thumbs stroked over the backs of her hands and she cursed the tears that spilled over her bottom lashes. He didn’t say anything, didn’t force her to look at him or acknowledge her shattering. He waited her out, rubbing a rhythm on her skin and steadying her without a word. She opened her eyes but couldn’t bring herself to look at him just yet. Instead she focused on their joined hands, reciprocating the gentle pulses he gave every so often.

She turned her head to wipe her wet cheeks on her shoulder as the landing announcement came over the cabin speaker. She did look at him then, and the emotion in his gaze left her feeling raw and exposed. Their hands reluctantly separated to buckle their seat belts. Y/N closed her eyes again, turning her face into the warmth of the early morning sun as the jet began its descent.

When they landed, everyone wearily shuffled off the plane, eager to get home to their beds. Penelope met them at the elevator, enveloping Spencer in a long hug, the rest of the team smiling at their embrace. They each moved through the bullpen, gathering their things and talking quietly. Y/N’s eyes paused on her bag, brought up from the parking garage by one of the team after she’d gone missing. They lingered for a long moment on the case file, still sitting where she’d left it hours ago, before she let herself let it go. She grabbed her bag and turned to see Spencer standing in the aisle, hands in his pockets and eyes fixed on her.

“Hey,” she said dumbly.

He smiled. “Hi.”

Her hands wrung the straps of her bag. “How—how’re you holding up?”

“I’ve been worse.” He shrugged. “How’s your head?”

“I’ve been worse,” she agreed.

“That’s good. Because I think after all that, the least you could do is give me a ride home,” he joked.

Y/N knew he was trying to reassure her that he was fine, but she couldn’t bring herself to laugh. If anything, his attempts to provide comfort made her feel worse. Because she couldn’t forget the sound of the gunshot at the warehouse, the sight of the knife at his throat, the feeling of nearly losing someone whom she knew she could love if she just had more time. Too exhausted to hide her emotions, she could tell by the change in Spencer’s eyes that the pain was apparent on her face.

“Actually, you probably shouldn’t be driving, even if it’s just a mild concussion. Where are your keys?”

“It’s fine. I’m all ri—” Y/N started.

“I know I phrased that as a question, but I’m not really asking.” He held out his hand.

Normally she would have argued, but she just didn’t have the energy. Y/N dug into her bag, fishing out the keys and dropping them into his hand. He closed his fingers around them and jerked his head toward the door. “Come on,” he murmured. He waved to the rest of the team, and Y/N nodded, avoiding their eyes.

The ride in the elevator was silent. The walk to the car, too. They were pulling out of the garage before Spencer finally broke the silence.

“You know this wasn’t your fault, right?” he asked. Y/N stayed quiet. “We all missed the connection to Liberty Ranch.”

“But I knew something was off, and I didn’t say anything. I— I almost came to find you before I left, and if I had just done that—”

“Y/N,” Spencer interrupted. “The plan was already in motion. Meadows and Merva would have just figured out another way to execute it.” His fingers tightened on the wheel. “And without you and the leads from the warehouse, the team might not have figured it out in time.”

Y/N opened her mouth before realizing she didn’t have a response. She didn’t even want to consider that possibility. She leaned her head against the window, pressing the thumb and fingers of one hand into her eyes to stave off the throbbing.

Graciously, Spencer let her remain in silence the rest of the ride to her apartment. There was so much to say, especially now; she didn’t know where to begin. And even after everything, she couldn’t stop herself from bringing up that wall— protecting herself from what she knew could hurt her more than any unsub.

They pulled onto her street, fairly empty at such an early hour. Spencer parked in front of her apartment, opening the car door and coming around the other side of the car. She expected him to give her the keys, but as she exited the car, he waited by the gate for her. “I’ll walk you up.”

Spencer opened the gate, allowing her to walk through before closing it behind them and following her up the sidewalk. “I need the keys,” she told him.

He shook his head as if to clear it. “Right, right.” He placed them into her outstretched hand, and she wondered if she imagined his fingers lingering over hers.

When they reached her door, she unlocked the deadbolt and swung the door open, stepping over the threshold. He waited outside, hands in his pockets. Y/N rolled her keys in her hand, and Spencer watched them.

“Um— thank you for—” Y/N started.

“I told Emily on the jet, and I’ll tell you now.” Spencer raised his eyes to meet hers. There was that look again, the one she couldn’t quite identify. “I’ve always had a hard time saying what I feel. And maybe sometimes it’s because I’m afraid of being disappointed. But sometimes it’s because the words I’m looking for don’t exist in the English language.”

“Spence—”

“Please just let me get this out,” he said. “There have been a couple moments over the past few months where I thought maybe we were sharing mamihlapinatapei.”

“Mamih what?” Y/N asked.

“Mamihlapinatapei.” He repeated, gesturing with his hands. “It’s a Yagan word that originates on the Tierra del Fuego archipelago off the southern tip of Argentina. It translates succinctly as ‘the wordless, meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to do so.’”

“Oh.” Y/N felt a flush rising up in her cheeks.

Suddenly, Spencer couldn’t meet her eyes. “I, um—I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize our friendship or make things awkward at work. But last night, I… I just— I’ve had too many moments in my life where I thought it might be my last, and I hadn’t said all the things I needed to say.” He met her eyes again, and there was that familiar storm. “Last night I was out of time, and I hadn’t told you how I feel, and I realized that I wouldn’t get another chance, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but I needed to—”

Y/N stepped forward, grabbed the front of his shirt, and crashed their mouths together. She tried to pour everything into the kiss: every blush, every worry, every laugh, every panicked moment, every mamihlapinatapei. Spencer cradled her face in his hands, opening his mouth and capturing her bottom lip, accepting everything she gave him. She wound one of her hands into his hair, pulling him impossibly closer and grounding herself to this new reality that almost wasn’t. The height of the kiss tapered off, and Y/N drew back, untangling her fingers from his hair and her heart from his grasp. Spencer watched her carefully, honey eyes uncertain.

“I do. Feel the same,” Y/N confirmed. Spencer’s lips twitched. “I’m not good at vulnerability. I’ve got a great track record of getting hurt.” Spencer grabbed her hand and opened his mouth, but Y/N continued, “But then I thought we might lose you, that time was out, and that I— I wouldn’t get the chance to see if you could be— if this could be more.” She gestured between them and then met his eyes again. “And I guess being vulnerable isn’t so bad in comparison. Because I think I could fall in love with you. I think maybe it’s already happening.” She held her breath and pressed her lips together, fighting the regret of saying too much.  

“Actually, there’s a word for that, too.” Spencer smiled, warm and soft and genuine. “Forelsket. The origin is Norwegian, and it roughly translates to ‘the euphoria experienced as you begin to fall in love.’”

“Forelsket?” Y/N asked.

“Well, it’s more like forelsket,” Spencer corrected.

“Wow, okay, 187.” Y/N laughed for the first time in what felt like days. “Forelsket.”

“Better,” Spencer praised. “There’s also the Tagalog version, kilig.”

Y/N took a step closer to him and smoothed his shirt where her hands had wrinkled it. “Translation?”

“‘The sudden feeling of an inexplicable joy one gets when something romantic happens,’ or alternatively ‘the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.’” Spencer moved his hand to her waist and stepped over the threshold.

Y/N cupped his cheek in her hand, soothing the bruises and guiding him back to her. “Yeah. Sounds about right.”