#i feel like an animal in a cage
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birbtails · 6 months ago
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#i HATE it here#if this is what the rest of inpatient is like i have no clue how it helps anyone#not only do i have no control whatsoever over my life#(i can't choose when or what to eat or when to sleep i can't go outside i can't shave i cant even really go to the bathroom whenever i want#bc theres checks every 15 minutes and so i have to look like im doing okay bc otherwise someones going to come in and ask entirely unhelpful#questions and i can't change clothes in my room bc the window covers the whole room and it looks out directly on the entrance so theres no#privacy even between checks)#i feel like an animal in a cage#you know how bettas apparently bite off chunks of their tail when kept in a too small tank? thats how i feel#this is my 3rd full day here and still no one has told me what to expect#and i got ambushed by a doctor a social worker and a scribe asking me shit like what caused your depression? why are you here?#fuck if i know!!#i got sent to the fucking er from my meds checkup and no one's told me shit about what to expect here and i don't have Anything#i got sent to the er with my backpack and the clothes i was wearing and they took all of that away immediately at the er and they only gave#back a little bit of it when i got here and my dads been bringing me stuff but i can't even have a stuffed animal or conditioner!#i feel like im going crazy#i don't know any other way to describe it#i want to claw my skin off or tear out my hair or jump through a window or bang my head into a wall until i bleed#and i know thats definitely not something that would let me get out sooner#but i Did Not feel like this until i got here#all i can say is that i feel like a caged animal like im on display at a zoo#and they won't even tell me what's going to happen while im here
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houseofwolvess · 8 months ago
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i love being left behind by everyone at home. i love never being invited anywhere and i love rotting away in my bedroom
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chilei-the-hotsauce · 16 days ago
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i fucking. made him move for a school project.
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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Something you start noticing is that people who hold delusional or "incoherent" beliefs have reasons for believing them that you might understand. There's this idea that delusional people or people who otherwise hold "out-there" views just... come up with them on a whim, but that isn't always the case. I find that when people start assuming that delusional beliefs come from nowhere, they think that they're really easy to just "snap out of," and it doesn't work like that.
You might not understand why somebody believes in something, but knowing that it is for a reason can remind you that they aren't being antagonistic. There is already a lot going on. The least you can do is understand where the person is coming from and offer compassion, not judgment.
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waterwindow · 4 months ago
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Does anybody know any good adult oriented tf2 discord servers
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neonhellscape · 1 month ago
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new rt everyone shes a freak whos pretty sure shes been been given the role of rogue trader as an act of divine intervention to eventually replace the godemperor and bring new glory to the imperium which she thinks is dull and stagnant. dont worry about why she keeps marazhai caged in her trophy room like he's bait its not important and completely irrelevant to the fact ive joke nicknamed her simon thresh. has anyone noticed a lot of slaaneshi demons during warp jumps lately
#warhammer rogue trader#rogue trader#marazhai aezyrraesh#von valancius#if i ever mention about marazhai going insane on the voidship this is what i want you to think of#understimulated predator animal in a cage claws itself open#its worse with her but i do think he generally feels kinda insane anyway#yeah he's tricked into thinking she's tolerable and a fair alternative to the arena then hes taken to the voidship#yrliet [who was the fixation until now] tries to warn him about her before getting her head bashed in infront of him#spirit stone smashed into shards for ritual use body dragged off for vague poor medical knowledge dissection#he is now thinking the arena might not be so bad after all. except he's got no way to back out of this so hes screaming clawing at the wall#shes not giving him up willingly and the only person who could take him by force is calcazar whos not a great alternative tbh!#so he gets to go insane being bait for the chaos god he's already ocd fixated is stealing his soul [on top of normal drukhari fears]#and he's not able to maul anyone else while locked up so its just him dealing with this alone! yay#she doesnt give a shit about pasqal until he gets xenotech in him. then he goes to the trophy room too for study/more grafts#heinrix is most likely captive in the trophy room too with his death faked so he cant snitch#idira Almost got in trouble too for the implant she gets from tervantias but then it breaks and this lass is just angry at her#the Only reason she doesnt feed her to the wolves and kick her out is her door. and she is now trying to force it open with a crowbar#abelard has to deal with her shit and manage it socially. he never thought he'd want to retire but fucking hell when can he quit#she likes jae mostly for her connections. toxic yuri theyre both using eachother#she briefly idolises achilleas for bringing her to commorragh but then finds out he did it under torture and didnt want to. mad at him#he can make it up to her once hes a wrack though [he is going next to marazhai. this will only improve both their mental states]#can you tell this freak is a piece of work yet#shes got screams of the damned volume 3 playing across the ship and shes having a great time but is completely deadpan the whole time#unrelated! you can finally see my idea of marazhai next to a normal fucking human good god. yeah i think hes huge
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zorosdimples · 4 months ago
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tomorrow i plan to put in my notice at my job and i’m so fucking nervous
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palerick · 1 month ago
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I’m so normal! I’m so normal. I’m the most regular person about this with no thoughts that would make god fear his creations
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malewifemurdock · 6 months ago
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*opens Tumblr* *sees ANOTHER piece of fanart comparing Damian to an animal and putting him in a dog cage* *it has thousands of notes and zero criticism*
Alright. Okay
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neverendingford · 8 months ago
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skyglow:
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(alternative title: photo dump of a midnight desert run)
#photography#Ford's Art#color says shit#it was either go on a twelve mile run or re-download grindr and get absolutely blasted so I went with the more responsible option.#b because damn I'm feeling it tonight. or at least I was before the run. I need to shower and then I'll cook dinner and go to bed satiated.#I did also jerk off under the bridge and then piss on someone's flowers on the way home. gotta get those animal instincts out somehow right?#anyway I've successfully vented most of my manic energy and a cold shower will finish it off and then we're good.#the mood meds have been helping a lot. last time I got hit with this kind of a mood I came out of it with huge bite marks and chlamydia.#and I haven't been feeling it nearly as bad this time so that's nice. more like a restless dog and less like a caged wolf thirsty for blood.#yes I'm making references to Call of the Wild again deal with it.#anyway sorry to anyone who sees this from the tags and not because you follow me. you didn't sign up for this lmao.#also. this is why I can't be a binary trans woman. this night photography shit is the most gay-man thing ever and I enjoy it.#I was doing it before my last boyfriend but he got me even more into it.#anyway bye I'm gonna go shower and then eat food. I've been hungrier more recently.#between the meds and the hrt my appetite is bigger and I'm gaining weight with the hrt fat redistribution which is cool and good.#I want to be a healthy weight and maybe even a lil chonky? we'll see we'll see.
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scentofpines · 3 months ago
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please dont reblog "cute" or "funny" videos/pictures of animals when it takes like 0.5 seconds and a quarter ounce of empathy to tell that the animal is kept under bad conditions and/or distressed and/or abused. have some empathy and respect for other creatures my god
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s0fter-sin · 6 months ago
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i’ve stopped expecting interesting animation from bones. the star and stripe fight is cool but like every other fight/moment in mha, it’s only cool bc the source material itself is cool; bones does nothing to elevate the manga
they rarely try to experiment with colour and style. i saw so many colourings of the moment star and stripe made a giant version of herself out of the air; people made her look like a cosmos, like it reflected and bent the sky around her, doing so many inventive things and for the anime to just make her an outline against that godforsaken sky? i’m disappointed
but people will take me saying i’m disappointed and spin it to me saying the fight was bad. it wasn’t, just like most fights and moments in the anime aren’t bad but that’s all bc horikoshi knows how to draw. they never do anything beyond that; they never try and adapt it. whether it’s bc of time, direction, budget, or what have you, they will never do something truly inventive with their colouring
i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again, it’s not just that the sky is blue; it’s what the blue sky represents and that is an unwillingness to broaden their colour palette or atmosphere to support the changes in the tone of the story. the story isn’t just “will midoriya get into his dream high school and achieve his dream job?” it’s child abuse and societal systems and their dysfunctions, it’s racism and morality and is it right to try and save someone who’s determined to destroy the world just bc they are also a victim?
look at the finale of atla, a show that mirrors the narrative tone of mha; it starts out bright and colourful and vibrant to match the happy and small stakes nature of the story and as the tone of the story changes, the environment changes to reflect that. the siege of the north pole? everything goes blood red when the moon spirit is threatened, then goes completely desaturated when it is killed with only fire bending having any colour. the day of black sun? uses a solar eclipse to change the lighting. the entire sozin’s comet fight? has red skies and lighting to show the threat
bones abject refusal to change anything about the art itself is a detriment to horikoshi’s complex narrative
#its not just about the colour of the sky#lets get that straight#we’re doing some real the curtains arent just blue shit here so keep up#colour and lighting are a very deliberate choice in any visual medium#and choosing to ignore it and not take advantage of it will just be a detriment to whatever youre creating#i see so many colourings of manga panels where they do insane things and really do next level colourings#and to then see the anime that has so much money and talent behind it just for it to be flat and emotionless with no atmosphere?#it sucks#when you can pick out a scene from something called the WAR ARC and it looks the same as the sports festival arc? come on#and i know theres more to making a scene out of a panel then there is to colouring one#but when these indie creators doing visually gorgeous colourings its hard not to feel like the anime is lacking#and when your colours are flat and your camera angles are uninteresting then what is the point of an anime adaptation#even if they do change things here and there like the endeavour v hood fight or all might v afo#it doesnt change that the majority of the time its the exact same#and when the storm eventually comes round? that wont satisfy me either enless they change the colors of everything as well to be desaturate#and fully embrace the new atmosphere that horikoshi has very deliberately drawn#class a v deku is the one time they did a sustained colour difference and theres a reason that went over so well#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#go beyond plus ultra#mha#bnha#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#star and stripe#shigaraki tomura#izuku midoriya#bakugou katsuki#save post
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moonshynecybin · 8 months ago
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also vale and his relationship with injury has been discussed a lot but NOT ENOUGH! marc has got to be a masochist or something why does he not care if he's in pain how does he ignore it (answer: he's insane) BUT vale forcing him to be careful always making sure he's not hurting himself even more letting him feel good...
he DOES care that he’s in pain he has restructured his entire LIFE around that pain and he made an entire hagiographic DOCUMENTARY in order to process that pain and like. present the bad things that have happened to him in his life (vale hating him, sepang fallout, his arm) as a narrative that MEANT something. it can’t be so bad all these things happened to me because i came out the other side having learned something. and he says this white-knuckling the counter in his bathroom and staring into the mirror covered in motivational slogans
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triglycercule · 15 days ago
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horror's jacket fluff has probably accumulated so much DISGUSTINGNESS over 7 years in it that it's managed to acquire it's own signature Dog Smell (TM). however i think this would be a prime opportunity to pet him and then get some of that disgusting smell on you because for some reasons Dog Smell is just unavoidable when you pet a dog with a lot of hair
he'd hate it but awww awww whos a good boy (ノ´∀`*) whos a good boy (*≧∪≦) YOU ARE!!! awww so cute you didn't commit all those murders against innocent people you were innocent ( ̄▽ ̄)/ such a good boy!!!! (gets beheaded) (he got too embarrassed)
#forcing the dog horror agenda down people's throats#CAT DOG RABBIT TRIO I SCREAM INTO THE DISTANCE#cat and dog run circles chasing eachother around the sleeping rabbit (MURDER TIME TRIO REAL TRUST I WAS THE AIR)#THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME. guess where the inspiration came from. THATS RIGHT (triglycercule owns a dog) (for context)#my favorite recurring theme i keep on bringing up 4 some reason is horror not wanting 2 be treated like hes feral or animalistic#he is a rational man. he can think for himself. he isn't a DOG. SO THEN STOP TREATING HIM LIKE HE'S NOTHING MORE THAN SOME CAGED CANINE#(glares at killer and dust. dust simply looks off to the side (not paying attention) and killer slightly smiles bigger (creep))#it would be SO fucking demeaning. something killer does to horror to piss him off EASILY#leave it to killer to find a way to get on horror's nerves all the time. thank god dust is much less pissy than horror 🙏#can just SEE the thought bubble of horror as a dog above dusts head#he wouldn't verbalize it (because why would he need to) but dust can see the dog parallels (truly like me)#maybe he'd say it on an off day when theyre all feeling chill and its dead silent#someone's gotta be the calm one out of the three maniacs and why not let it be the rationally insane one ‼️‼️‼️#and theyre all just like chilling. horror's organizing the pantry. killer's playing a cat game on his phone. dust's reading#and then he just says to nobody in particular. horror reminds me of a dog#it's almost as if nobody reacts when horror turns around flabbergasted??? as if nobody said anything!!!!!#because dust is still reading and killer's still on his phone!!! WHAT!!!! and horror's just like ever so slightly irritated and weirded out#but...... its a good day. its been chill. maybe he just imagined that. and he goes back to his thingy#and dust just ever so slightly smiles. killer's actually been looking at horror ever since dust said that (the blank sockets hide his gayze#and in his head hes like..... damn. dust is right tf i do see it??????#kemonomimi mtt when. when do i get to see them with animal ears and tails that i approve they would fit in????#triglycercule you have to do it yourself.WHAT!!! NO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO (disintegrates) (imagine that ashy baby photo)#i felt like killer typing out that second paragraph. its like i can hear his voice saying it as i type. its like i can see his smug face#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#tricule hc#i mean killer and dust are mentioned in tags so its whatever DONT KILL ME DONT GUILLOTINE ME OK SORRY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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orcelito · 16 days ago
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I've been working on Finally finishing Naruto Shippuden (after being a Naruto fan for nearly 15 years), & I just finished episode 420. And I have some THOUGHTS about the "Naruto is the reincarnation of Ashura" thing. This started as just me rambling for my normal liveblog posting, but I had a LOT of thoughts about this actually, so I am presenting them to u all Now.
So. Naruto meeting the Sage of Six Paths! Cool!!! I'm finally learning about Naruto being the reincarnation of Ashura, which... honestly is not a choice that I like very much. Narratively speaking, I mean. The Point of Naruto's journey was that he was the underdog, the bottom of his class, the orphan that everyone hated and made fun of. Through hard work and perseverance, he managed to drag himself from being a complete social outcast to someone generally really loved and respected. That's compelling!!! It means a lot!!!
But then the show is like. "Oh...actually, he's the son of the fourth hokage. And Also, he's the reincarnation of the son of the literal creator of ninshuu aka the precursor of modern ninjutsu." I mind him being Minato's son less as a narrative choice (for reasons I will get into shortly), but making him Ashura's reincarnation?? I've got Several things that bug me about that.
So First, for him being Minato's son. It's not like that's ever Actually given him any sort of status (since most people don't know), & Minato was also kind of just a random guy?? Just incredibly skilled, enough so to become the 4th hokage. And then there's also Kushina, descended from a very successful and very Feared clan that ended up almost entirely killed bc of that fear. Naruto being an Uzumaki means great power, huge chakra reserves (not even including the extra chakra he gets from Kurama), & some innate skills (that Naruto mostly didn't inherit, but one can play pretend sometimes). BUT ALSO, they were almost entirely killed off. He's a survivor of his clan's genocide that happened well before he was even born, and he doesn't even REALIZE it yet. So even though being Minato's son means he's the son of a very influential person, it doesn't give him the same leverage as being a Senju or Uchiha would. And the clan he Does belong to bc of Kushina does not give him status either, bc they're almost all fuckin Dead. And we know that Minato is a Namikaze, but as for what that actually *means*.... it's basically nonexistent. There is no mention of a Namikaze clan. Minato was just a prodigy in his own right.
SO.... All that is to say that while appending Naruto's orphan story with a "well, Actually, his parents were very powerful and well respected" does discount it a little bit, it's still not Especially unique in terms of what other people in their world may experience (there are other descendants of current and/or former kage + Many other powerful clans running around) OR in the benefits that it gives him (essentially nothing, outside of his physical strength and the inheritance of Kurama himself)(which inheriting Kurama did grant him access to IMMENSE power, but it also was the source of So Much of his suffering growing up, so I think it balances out).
The "reincarnation of Ashura, son of the Sage of Six Paths" thing tho... that one really kinda does. At that point, Naruto is no longer just the orphaned son of two respected shinobi & the current jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi (something special, but not entirely original, given that there are Other jinchuuriki who are descendants of powerful shinobi). He is now something that NO ONE ELSE ALIVE can be. It is saying that He, above Everyone Else, is special in this way. Outside of Sasuke lol, but I'll touch on that in a moment.
It just feels kinda cheap. It's cool I guess, but at this point it feels like we've completely lost the Plucky Orphan who works hard to overcome his circumstances plot. It's saying that he was Always one of a kind, he was Always destined to become Someone Special (or that he was, in fact, special the whole time). It removes the importance of his hard work in the equation. It makes it so that this is no longer something he earned for himself, but rather something that was a Given, since he is, of course, Ashura's reincarnation.
Cheap. It's cheap. And I don't like it.
Then we get into Sasuke being the reincarnation of Indra. Which I haven't gotten to that yet in the show, but I know from seeing it around. I do enjoy the sun and moon aesthetic between Naruto and Sasuke (so SO much, in fact), but. Making Sasuke the reincarnation of the Other son of the Sage of Six Paths is... frustrating? In several ways. There is of course the fact that Naruto and Sasuke have such extremely gay vibes (and Always Have), so making them the reincarnations of brothers so late in the story feels like an insult to anyone who reads their relationship in that way. Which to be fair, we do see Naruto mention at a few points that he thinks of Sasuke like a brother, but it's only a few points + feels like a kind of narrative cop-out. Sasuke himself said he doesn't think of Naruto in that way (though that could also be his self-denial speaking & it could change. Haven't gotten that far yet.), & I think there are much better choices for Naruto's "brother" figure (primarily Iruka, but people like Killer Bee and any of the other konoha 12 would be fitting too). Personally, it feels like Naruto was trying to put a name to his very strong feelings for Sasuke, & since he doesn't realize being gay is an option (since Kishimoto is clearly homophobic & made this ninja society to reflect that), he settled on Brother. But Sasuke is like "what the fuck? No, my only brother is Itachi." Instead, Sasuke has called Naruto his best friend. Which also doesn't fully encompass their relationship, but it's still closer than Brother.
So here we are, Kishimoto saying around 555 episodes into the plot (only 80 more to go) that they're actually the reincarnations of brothers. And not just any brothers. THE sons of the Sage of Six Paths. Incredibly influential, incredibly powerful, two sides of the same coin and very historically significant figures. Sasuke always had the "descended from an elite, yet disgraced clan" thing going for him, so in my opinion it doesn't hold the same kind of insult to his story that it does for Naruto. But it still feels like an insult to THEIR story.
Naruto and Sasuke were just two orphan boys. Their moms were best friends, but they didn't know that. They died when they were too young. But Naruto and Sasuke still gravitated towards one another. Understood each other like no one else. And got on each other's nerves like no one else. But that irritation stemmed from their genuine admiration of each other. They wanted to be able to beat each other. They became Rivals. And it was on their own terms. No one else pushed them together. Outside of them ending up on the same team, their entire relationship was fueled by their recognition of one another, Jealousy of one another, and the simple enjoyment of being around one another. They were the ones to decide the importance of their relationship. Sasuke recognizing Naruto as his closest friend & thus thinking he was the one he had to cut off to achieve power, and Naruto recognizing Sasuke as his first peer that acknowledged him, a precious bond he finally made, and thus someone he had to cling to FIERCELY. That was all them.
But here we are. They're a reincarnated set. The sun and the moon, but Officially. One could say soulmates in a way, in a non-romantic kind of context (considering the first iteration was a pair of brothers). While this is cool from a story standpoint, it really takes some significance away from their relationship to me. It makes it less of something they chose for themselves and more of a given. Pretty much just like Naruto being Ashura's reincarnation cheapens his own story, it cheapens their relationship too.
I dont want a story about two boys who were destined to be important to each other!!!! I want a story about two orphans who just happened to become important to one another thru a series of coincidences and personal choices. In that way, their relationship gains greater gravity bc it's born from their own hearts Alone. It's Naruto moving mountains for the sake of this boy he loves, and it's Sasuke finally coming back around bc of the force of Naruto's dedication. It means so much more than the implication that they were always meant to be a pair. So I really don't like this narrative choice.
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#naruto#narusasu#sasunaru#(i talk about how the reincarnation thing affects the context of their relationship lower down in the post)#naruto spoilers#if anyone still cares about those lol#anyways it's been really cool to finally see all this late-show stuff for myself after being in the fandom for so long#(i was caught up once upon a time. but that was around episode 200 or so lol)#but as much as im enjoying some things in the show. there are other things that i just... dont like.#part of that is nearly Half the entirety of shippuden being the fucking war arc. it's precisely what's kept me from catching up until now#but then theres the loss of the story's original Feeling. the anti-war and anti-child soldiers sentiment.#Naruto being an absolute nobody and watching Haku and Zabuza's ending & being so moved by it that it informs his entire ninja way#but Kishimoto is turning around and saying 'he was actually destined for this the whole time'. which just... i just really don't like it.#this + Neji's death feels like it's discounting their fight's entire point. Neji's entire character arc.#the fact that fate doesnt matter as much as dedication. being a 'genius' doesnt matter as much as effort.#but Neji. the caged bird. dies to protect the main line. driving home that it was pointless for him to resist it the whole time.#and Naruto. the one who worked tirelessly to become hokage against all odds and adversity. turns out it was Meant To Be after all.#sigh... i really do love this anime so much. ive loved it for most of my memory and its characters are so so dear to me.#but i also. really. REAAAAAAAAALLY hate this anime sometimes. damned anime discounting its own points...#alas. i shall continue to watch. because i do want to finally finish it.#i shall simply. probably not watch Boruto afterwards lol
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smalleevee · 5 months ago
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phannies....i need to be sedated
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