#i feel like a great wave of change is going to come crashing this year or the next

[maareyas]

late night catastrophizing again fellas ✨

I'm gonna be real lads. I'm not feeling great about where the world is headed.

Funnily enough, the thing that sent me into this tiny spiral is seeing the weather reports from the past week. Apparently my country's reaching above 40 C, and summer hasn't even fully arrived yet. I've made cynical jokes about how my country will be one of the first to be obliterated if climate change gets worse. and as time passes, I keep thinking about how it comes closer and closer to becoming reality. And y'know. How I don't know how I'm going to deal with a potential doomsday scenario like that.

And this isn't even taking into account Everything Else. The genocide, the rise of unregulated AI tech, the Cost Of Living crisis that every country seems to be going through these days, etc etc. It all feels like. a lot, to say the least.

I feel like a plastic bag in a dirty river struggling with a bunch of other plastic bags and what-have-you along the current. I keep thinking back to those "signs of the end times" I used to hear at church. Maybe it's bc of my upbringing and I'm worrying too much as I always have, but I'm unsure about the future hhhhhh

I'm glad I don't plan on having kids, man. For now, I suppose I'll continue living and making things better in my own way.

[natalievoncatte]

Kara knew something was wrong from Lena’s heartbeat. That alone, the barely detectable change in rhythm and tempo, was enough, but her breathing was erratic and as Kara drew nearer, drifting through the afternoon air, she could hear the soft sobs.

A bad feeling had come over Kara. Things had been quiet between the two of them ever since the wedding; there had been a strange tension between them on that happy day and Kara couldn’t say why

(she knew what she wanted it to be but didn’t dare hope)

and with Alex and Kelly away on their honeymoon, Kara had mostly been on her own. Nia was spending most of her free time with Brainy and Kara sensed a proposal coming, and she was busy preparing for her public interview with Cat Grant. She was going to rip the bandages off and reveal her identity. There was a great deal of work involved, and Kara had spent a lot of time fretting over the details, and in the back of her head she was worried about the ramifications of years spent reporting on Supergirl and using “her” as a source. It was a massive ethical dilemma, and thought it always made sense at the time…

Right now all that mattered was the heartbeat. Kara had been giving Lena the space she sensed she needed, but Jess had called Kara from the Foundation and told her that Lena hadn’t come to work in three days, and no one had heard from her. It was uncharacteristic of someone who ran her life with almost military precision. Kara had even asked Alex to text Lena, but they’d gotten the same single word replies.

Kara pulled in a big breath, feeling her stomach churn as she lighted on the balcony and slid open the door, knowing it would be unlocked. She wished Lena would stop doing that, but also felt a little tilt in her chest from knowing Lena hadn’t locked her out.

She was on the sofa, curled up on her side and asleep. She’d probably had the same pajamas on for two days and there were empty bottles of wine in a neat row on the table in front of her. Her eyes were puffy from crying and her cheeks a little raw. Kara felt an instant pang and reached for her, before stopping to deactivate her suit.

Kneeling next to the sofa, Kara touched her fingers to Lena’s shoulders. Lena woke instantly with a start, head jolting up as she sucked in a reedy breath and her heart raced explosively, sending a shock of terror up Kara’s spine.

“Oh fuck,” Lena blurted, kicking out her legs as she bolted upright. “Oh God, Kara what…”

“Hey,” Kara said softly. “I was… I’m sorry. Are you okay? I came in through the balcony. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Lena’s chest heaved as she gasped for breath, staring at Kara with watery eyes. “Are you real?”

“What? Yes, of course I’m real.”

“I must have been dreaming. It was a dream. Just a dream. I was dreaming,” Lena muttered.

Kara rose from her knees and sat down on the couch.

“Come here.”

Lena almost crashed into her, wrapping her arms tightly around Kara and squeezing hard. She smoothed her fingers over the soft dark waves of Lena’s hair and pulled her in as she began to sob into Kara’s shoulder.

“I dreamed he killed you,” Lena choked out. “He came back again and he killed you and I couldn’t stop it. It felt so real.”

“I’m fine. I’m right here.”

Lena continued to sob, her entire body shaking with the force of it. Kara wrapped her in a fierce hug, trembling as she did.

“Every time I close my eyes he’s there, and when I’m awake all I can think about is that I killed my brother.”

“That didn’t happen in this timeline.”

Lena choked out an angry, frustrated sob. “It happened for me. I aimed a gun at my own brother’s chest and I pulled the trigger. And he came back! He came back and he almost killed you two or three fucking times, I can’t count.”

“He’s gone. He’s not coming back.”

“You can’t just say that!” Lena screamed into Kara’s throat.

Stunned, Kara softened her grip on Lena, only for Lena to pull her in harder, like she was trying to climb inside her.

“Why can’t I stop mourning him? He ruined my life. He was the person I trusted most and he turned out to be a monster. He used me my whole life and my emotions were just a game to him. He tried to to kill the woman I… tortured you, took you away for months and I thought I’d never see you again. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I was and how much…”

Lena cut herself off with a sob.

“I know it’s not the same,” Kara murmured, “but when I was a little girl I worshipped my father. I wanted to grow up like him and do what he did. I was going to be a scientist too.”

“You’d have been a good one.”

Kara shook her head. “My father was responsible for the Medusa virus. A bioweapon designed to eradicate non-Kryptonian life. A weapon of genocide.”

Lena shuddered.

Kara swallowed, hard.

“My world wasn’t a paradise. It felt that way because it was simple for me. There wasn’t all the pain of learning alien ways and an alien language and controlling superpowers and everything else. My father taught and protected me and my mom maintained order. But it was wasn’t a paradise. My people were… Krypton was… I think in a lot of worlds out there, we were the bad guys. Okay, the Daxamites were slavers, but on Krypton people were born into the labor guild and did menial jobs their whole lives, while people like me were born into privilege. Is that much better?”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t judge you for mourning Lex, Lena. He was your protector and your friend, and it was real to you. If there’s anything I hate him for, it’s hurting you.” Kara swallowed. “The one thing I can’t abide is anyone hurting you. I’ll break all my rules to keep you safe.”

Lena’s breathing eased and Kara could feel her relax.

“I’ve been avoiding you.”

“I figured you needed space. I wasn’t sure why but I trusted you to tell me if you need to.”

There was a long, heavy pause, and then Lena said.

“Kara, I can’t do this. I can’t share you.”

“Share me?”

“When you reveal your identity,” Lena pulled back, “you’re going to be the most famous person in the word. Everyone is going to be all over you. The press, politicians, everybody, and everyone who has a grudge against you or your cousin is going to know exactly where to find you, all the time.”

“I’ll keep you safe, no one will…”

“I didn’t say anything about me. You, Kara. What about you?”

“I’m Supergirl. I’ll be fine.”

“And what about me?” said Lena.

“I told you…”

“No. What about me when I have to watch you getting beaten to a pulp by another alien? What about me when you’re in a coma on the sun bed? What about me when I see on the news that a bomb went off in your apartment and I have to wonder if it was laced with Kryptonite shrapnel? I’m not worried about people coming after me. I’m a billionaire with magic powers. I could put on a goofy costume and join the club if I wanted. I’ve already lost you so many times and I can’t do it again.”

Stunned, Kara sat with her eyes wide, not sure when exactly she’d lifted Lena into her lap.

“It’s so selfish of me,” Lena went on. “You don’t belong to me. I don’t get to make demands of you. But don’t want you to out yourself. I don’t want to lose you again. As soon as you do this you’re going to be hounded by the whole world and they’ll claw you away from me again.”

Kara’s own heart raced now, hammering in her chest. Lena sounded so desperate and so sure, clinging to a Kara like she might disappear.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s your choice and I have to respect it. It’s okay,” she was clearly telling herself.

“No,” Kara choked out, “no it’s not. I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.”

“Kara,” said Lena.

“No. I have been. I can’t believe I said what I said to you at the wedding, about not being my authentic self. To you, of all people.”

Lena swallowed hard. Kara drew back and looked at her, really looked at her, drinking in the soft beauty of her eyes as she swept back a tear with a brush of her thumb. Lena’s eyes were huge, her lips trembling, and Kara felt an almost painful pang of sorrow and regret and a powerful stirring, long thrust down and buried and now clawing its way forth as Lena stared back, the deep sadness and loss in her own eyes tinged by a hint of forlorn hope.

“I can’t believe that I can see through walls and I’m so blind.”

“Kara?” Lena whispered.

“I’m calling it off. I’ll keep my secret.”

“You don’t have to do that just to please me.”

“I don’t need them. I need you. I’m yours, if you’ll have me.”

Lena’s heart raced so fast that Kara briefly thought she might have to fly her to the hospital. Instinctively, she slipped one arm under her knees and the other around her shoulders and stood, lifting Lena as if she weighed nothing.

Eyes wide, Lena bit her lip.

“What do you mean?”

“What do you mean when you say you’re mine? I need you to say it, Kara. I was too scared at the wedding. I can’t do this. I need you to.”

Oh.

Kara shifted her Lena’s weight in her arms, bring them closer together. She’d danced this dance before; she thought of the day she came back from the Phantom Zone, when she held Lena in her arms and felt the sun again and she almost did it, she almost just fucking did it…

And she did it.

She kissed Lena, already ready to sputter an apology and find a way out of this, but her words were lost when Lena’s soft lips met hers and Lena was ready to devour her, happily rocketing past chaste first kiss as she grabbed Kara with both hands and pulled her in.

Kara’s stomach flipped. She didn’t know what to do. She’d been kissed, she thought she’d been intimate, but she could see now that those things had been mere stimulation and nothing more. Something soared inside her as she had soared in the sky the very first time she flew. Joy unbridled swelled in her chest and she could feel Lena laughing exultantly into her mouth and even as tears mingled on her cheeks.

She wanted this. She wanted this. It was right here all along.

“Kara,” Lena whispered. “I…”

“Should I put you down?”

“On the bed.”

[deitripper]

I was one of the Chilean winners to meet Paul McCartney and go to his soundcheck. My experience.

Well fellas, it's been a long time since i posted here and what can i say, i just wanted to give u the good news! As u read it, i had the chance (next to other people, 9 great fellow fans) to hug paul and share few minutes with him (As i write this all what i experienced feels unreal) I'm the one wearing the sgt pepper's suit btw!

I don't remember too much about the whole day, but the soundcheck was AMAZING, he played temporary secretary, mrs Vanderbilt, Let em in and Coming up!!it was CRAZY. Bf the soundcheck was over we were taken to another place in the stadium where we waited few minutes, and we talked with Stuart Bell (((((i joked a bit with him about he having the dream job and the possibility of k1ll1ng someone to be part of Paul's team and he told me 'HOW!? IT WAS A SECRET I TOLD U! ))))😂 Stuart is Paul's tour manager and we met his photographer and cameraman.

To be brief, let's jump right into meeting Paul, where do i start??? HE'S THE MOST ADORABLE MAN EVER, as soon as i saw him my eyes turned into waterfalls, my heart skipped a beat and all the memories of me binge watching videos and interviews of The Beatles crashed in my head. He greeted all the other winners and i didn't notice i was almost the last one, i was so shocked, too paralyzed to even say something, other winners told me Paul said something like 'Oh darling come on' and i just went slowly as i could to be near him and get a hug. I swear won't forget that moment. I HUGGED A BEATLE LIKE WHAAAAAATTT THE ACTUALLL HECKKK!!!! He share few words with everyone while the cameraman recorded everything. I feel that we were with him like 5 minutes but they -believe when i tell you- FELT LIKE 2 SECONDS. Then we took an official photo with Paul (which i'm kinda sad to receive bc i know my sgt peppers suit was totally hide behind two other girls who won, but hey, i'm in the same pic with Paul and that's enough!!) and lastly i had the chance to show him a bit of my work, i ordered some badges and stickers with my Beatle illustrations that i put on my suit and explained him stuff that i can't remember right now :'( But this is what finally made me lost my mind (internally bc for everyone is was just crying) LISTEN LISTEN, HE SAID MY WORK WAS """IMPRESSIVE""" AND HE TOUCHED THE STICKER WITH THE JOHN LENNON PORTRAIT I HAD ON THE SUIT, HE- TOUCHED- ONE- OF- MY- PORTRAITS AND HE RECOGNIZED THAT IT WAS JOHN READING SPANIARD IN THE WORKS. FFS, as i write this i start to sob. Then in a rush we sang the spanish version of 'Besame Mucho" a.k.a Cha Cha Boom song 😂 and then we all said goodbye as we could, waving, screaming, and in my case, crying hard af.

I really really hope to have a chance too see him in concert again, i know that the chance to be THAT near to him again, a literally walking legend, is almost impossible (as impossible as it feel the first time) i know i'm a lucky girl, and my life changed just having the chance to be in the same room with him. I won't be over this, there's now way this feels less exciting over the years. I was one of the few people that had the opportunity to be to his side -even if it was for a minute- and nothing is going to change that.

I have big dreams ahead, and i hope i'm able to accomplish every one of them. After hugging Paul everything feels possible.

If you like my art, know that i feel more inspired than ever before and i hope u can follow me on this journey🩷

Love, Dei.🩷

Ps, all the winners and i are expecting the video of everything, so as soon i as get it i'll try to share all the bits where i'm interacting with Paul (i hope with my soul that our hug is recorded and that his team doesn't cut that while editing the clips)

[naturalswimmingspirit]

elaine_doyle_

Kneeling faintly at the footsteps of the deep initiations that crash like waves over me again and again and again

I deeply bow & surrender And I say thank you Thank you for pulling me into truth The truth that dissolves all shadows

Deep into my inner well of knowing That I called you in Every single one of you Cracking me open Into the utter destruction that is the awakening path For change is my natural state Like a caterpillar morphing into the butterfly The beast becoming the beauty Crawling out of the shell of my ancestral pains & deep untruths For the bud to become the rose

Through the crashing waves I rebirth myself again and again and again A million thousand pieces I lie on the womb of the ocean floor Calling all parts of my higher self back into my body to be become whole & holy once again

Chaos, heartbreak, pain & love I say thank you For reminding me of why I came here For my soul to expand and stretch beyond all limitations A promise I made to myself eons ago To return here now In the midst of this golden age To reclaim the way of love To remember the mysteries of the rose

Grounded in peace, heart wide open ,kneeling at the footsteps of these crashing waves I trust, from the ecstasy to the agony, to the joy to the grief, the bloom to the fall, that life is happening for me not to me for the pain is the portal to my souls liberation & I am no longer afraid of these crashing waves 🕊✨🌹🐍

📸 @kateflomurphy

elaine_doyle_

Can you feel the intense energy? 2022 was predicted to be the most intense year of the great awakening yet. A reminder ,this transition that earth is in, this falling away of all that isn’t in alignment so she can increase her vibration and frequency started in 2012 and is said to last until 2032 and is the initiation into the golden age that will last 2’000 years. This is why so many of us are feeling the pull to heal ourselves and others. As the earth increases her vibration none of us can escape the intensity whether we are conscious of it or not. 🌀 So we are smack bang in the middle of this transition, summer solstice 2022 being the midpoint between 2012 & 2032. So of course this is going to feel like perhaps the most intense, density & also the crossing over into a magical threshold of ourmost divine , authentic, passionate, focused self. For me personally when I tuned into the energy of 2022 the word that kept coming to me was solitude. 🌀 There is so much transmissions, healing & remembrance that deep silence and solitude has been essential. Which is hard because I love and desire community deeply but the last while has showed me I cannot deny my need for deep silence and aloneness & honestly in that space I am finding the bliss & remembrance my soul is yearning for. Which is ironic as there is now so much gatherings and opportunities for social contact . It’s like spirit is testing me (us) how much can you really give your body and soul what it needs. How much can you trust that in solitude you will meet all of your own needs. I do feel the unpredictable weather in Ireland is also reflecting the energy ; the need for hibernation and rest for us all. 🌀 For me It feels to good to finally acknowledge the part of me that is a massive introvert and witnessing it’s power. I want to acknowledge here my lack of response to messages gatherings etc is in no way personal and I feel it’s important to mention this and for us all to set some boundaries with a device that can force us into constant informal contact which is now way beneficial to our soul. 🌀

I feel I am transforming and changing so rapidly right now I just don’t have the ability to have anything less than solid boundaries to allow the space the upgrades deeply need. 🌀 Also for me there is so much remembrance flooding in from other lifetimes that I am continuing to pause offering regular space holding of others to truly focus on my own path. It feels strange at times as for along time my life was dedicated to helping others and honestly one of the most courageous things I’ve done is pulling back from all of that, to really hold and give space to myself, my heart, my longing for freedom and deep healing & remembrance. 🌀 The past few weeks I have had another massive death and rebirth again wow this has just been so continuous over the past 3 years and as magical as it is it’s also extremely exhausting . As I rebirth each time my energy is that of a new born and I am thrown into deep surrender of what is possible given the energy levels & within this the most DIVINE consciousness arrives, that of unconditional love, forgiveness, non judgment and that is what this golden age is all about. Raising our vibration by raising our consciousness. 🌀 I am also excited for the time when it comes , to share and hold space again I have just so much juicy reflections of this healing journey to share but you know there is no rush this great awakening is only getting started and as we honour our own path we fall back into the flow on the divine. 🌀 Would love to hear what you are all navigating during this midpoint? As we share our story we allow humanity to breath and remember they are not alone on this path. 🌀 Míle Buíochas to the priestess herself @kateflomurphy for capturing this moment at the sacred waters in Donegal. My first social outing in weeks 😂 Grà Mòr Léan 🌀🌹✨

[anniemika]

Lost and Found

Eren Jaeger x Female reader

Chapter 1: Past and Present

Chapter summary:

After deciding to come home and try to fix the mess he made seven years ago, famous musician Eren Jaeger finds that not all things are as he left them behind.

Words: 2.9k

Prologue Chapter 2

…..

Eren Jaeger had forgotten what it felt like to be nervous.

Spending so much time on stage, in front of thousands of people, was sure to make you numb to the feeling. Alcohol and substances were a great help, too. Meshing them together was bound to bring success.

He wasn’t on either of those now, but his heart pumped like he hadn’t stopped for days.

The 26-year old man took a deep breath as he stood outside of his father's doorstep. The mix of excitement and apprehension was almost too much to bare. It had been exactly seven years since he’d last seen him, and he wasn't sure what to expect. Although, he was sure joy wasn’t one of the emotions he was about to see on his father’s face. He rang the doorbell once, then stepped back, his face down at his feet. Jaw clenched, fists balled. He was nervous alright.

A few moments later, the door swung open, and Eren raised his head up.

There he was, in the flesh. His father. Grisha Jaeger. The wrinkles on his face were deeper, his hair was thinner, but overall.. he hadn’t changed that much.

The man’s eyes widened, blinking a few times, like he was trying to make sure that the person who stood in front of him was truly his son.

"Eren?," he finally muttered, his son’s name sounding almost foreign to him.

Eren felt a lump form in his throat. “Hey, dad.” When was the last time he said those words? “Long time no see," he said as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

The older man remained quiet for a while, the shock still evident on his features, "When did you come back?”

“Just the other day. I’m staying at a hotel downtown.”

An inevitable quietness settled, as Eren watched his dad try his best to comprehend everything.

“I- I was around the neighborhood, and I thought..”, the attempt of making his appearance out of the blue seem natural crashed down as soon as he spoke the words. He hadn’t been here in seven years. Not sevens days, not weeks. Years.

“I see.” Grisha’s tone was low, not emitting any type of warmth. Not that Eren expected any. “Well, then.. Come on in, I suppose.”

Eren looked at his dad like he wasn’t supposed to let him in so easily. He realized that deep down, he expected to be rejected, just like he rejected him all those years ago. But nonetheless, as soon as he stepped inside the house, he was instantly hit with a wave of memories. The smell of his mother's cooking, the sound of his father's laughter, the feel of the carpet under his feet. It was all so familiar, yet so different. Like it was just yesterday, yet so long ago.

The younger man walked through the house, taking in the changes that had been made over the years. The furniture was different, the walls had been painted a new color, and some of the pictures had been taken down. It was clear that life had gone on without him.

“Go in the kitchen. I’ll make us some coffee.”

His father’s voice echoed through the hallway as Eren took step after step. The emotions hit him like a truck. He thought he was ready for this, but boy, was it tough.

When he reached the kitchen, the image of his mother instantly flooded his brain. He remembered her standing over the old stove, stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce while he sat at the table, writing songs instead of doing his homework. He remembered the smell of freshly baked cookies, the sound of his mother’s soothing voice, and the warmth of her embrace. This was her space, and Eren was happy his father hadn’t touched a thing in it.

“Hasn’t changed much since she left it, huh?” Grisha asked while reaching for some coffee mugs from the upper kitchen shelves.

“Yeah.. it hasn’t.” The dark-haired boy replied, still looking around the room like it was the first time he was seeing it.

“Take a seat.” His father instructed before pouring the freshly made coffee into the mugs.

Eren sat down on one chair, while his father sat on the opposite side of the table. Silence crept up again, as the younger man tried to find the words to begin. His arms were on the table, his face down. He felt like he was 15 again, having to answer before his parents for coming home late. Although he’d much prefer having to deal with that a hundred times over, than having to deal with this once.

“So, Eren.” Grisha started, his dark eyes on his son, “What made you come visit after all this time?”

What made him come back? Starting with the real questions. Questions that Eren thought he was prepared for.

“Look, dad”, his voice was weak, still not having enough courage to look his father in the eyes, “I know that it’s probably too late to say this, but.. I wanted to come here and tell you that.. I’m sorry.”

Grisha stayed silent, waiting for him to continue. Eren thought that he must’ve sensed how hard this was for him.

“I’m sorry about everything.. I’m sorry I abandoned you.” Saying the words out loud cut like a knife. “It was just.. I was stupid. Too stupid. And wrong. I was so wrong, and you were right. And I know that it must mean nothing right now, but.. I just wanted you to know that.” He finally looked up at his father’s face, “I’m sorry.”

The older man didn’t say a word. He just stared at his son, reading his face.

Eren felt the need to continue, “I- I shouldn’t have left like that, without saying goodbye. I should’ve called you, kept in touch. I know I messed up.”

After a few seconds, Grisha crossed his arms over his chest. "You're damn right you messed up. You left everything behind, without a word. You didn't care about anyone but yourself."

Eren flinched at his father's words, but he knew that he deserved them. "I know that. I was selfish, and I didn't think about the consequences of my actions. But I'm here now, and.. I really want to make things right."

Grisha let out a bitter laugh, “You want to “make things right”? Eren, it’s been how many.. seven years? But I suppose with your way of living, they might as well have been a few months.”

Another silence. Eren wanted to disappear. The words “you deserve worse than this” echoed in his mind.

His thoughts went to a dark place. What if something had happened to his dad? What if he’d needed him and there was no one else he could turn to? In the seven years that he’d been gone, he was sure there were moments when his father needed him the most but had to live with the thought that his only son had abandoned him. Those thoughts brought an instant headache, along with the inevitable regret and anger he’d been living with for so long.

“I know I can’t fix the past. It’s there, and it’s never going away. But I do want you to know that I’ve spent my fair share of being miserable.” He shared a quick look with the older man, then continued to stare at a little crack on the wooden table. It’d become his comfort zone throughout this entire conversation. “There were times when I wanted to call you, come home.. but then the shame made me decide against it. And then one day,” he took a deep, exhausted breath, “I realized I couldn’t do it any longer, so.. here I am.”

Grisha fixed his glasses, then continued to stare into his son’s piercing green eyes. Or were they blue? He never could figure it out.

“Here you are.” He repeated the words, and the reality of them made Eren want to pinch himself. He was really here, in his old house. Talking to his father. It felt surreal until now. “Eren.. I truly want to believe you’ve realized the severity of your actions. And if that’s true, I’m happy for you. You’re my son.” The word made Eren draw the tiniest smile. He hadn’t heard that in years. “But it’s not so easy. You can’t just waltz back in and expect everything to be okay after the mess you left.”

“I don’t expect it to.”

“That’s good.” Grisha took a quick sip of his coffee, “Because it won’t be. You’ve hurt a lot of people.”

Oh, how Eren knew that.

“I know. Trust me, I do.”

“Well, then, if that's true.. maybe you aren’t as hopeless as I thought.”

Eren nodded his head, eyes focused on the black coffee in front of him, “Thank you, dad. Really, I don’t deserve you even talking to me right now. You’re too kind to me.”

“I’m not kind. I’m old. And I only have one son.“

Eren couldn't help but chuckle at his father's response. "Well, I'm lucky to have an old man like you then."

Grisha rolled his eyes, but there was a hint of amusement in his expression. "Don't push it, kid.”

And just like that, Eren felt like he was a teenager again. He truly didn’t deserve his old man.

Another silence settled, but this time, it was a more comfortable one. The two men stood there, father and son, both thinking about what could’ve been.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes, dad,” Eren spoke after a while. The need to get the guilt off his chest was too much to handle, and he thought now was the right time to acknowledge it.

“Yes, you have.” Grisha nodded his head slowly, “Leaving Y/n was the biggest one.”

Eren’s whole body stiffened. He didn’t expect his father to be the one to bring the subject. In a way, he was kind of thankful. Uttering your name was hard enough for him.

“You had a good thing with her, Eren. A really good thing.”

Eren’s jaw clenched. He deserved to hear it, not only think it.

“Why’d you throw it all away?”

It was a genuine question, without any malicious intent. And still.. he felt the weight of the words. He knew that he had no one to blame but himself.

“I don't know," and with his voice tinged with sadness, it was a genuine answer, "I was young and stupid. I thought I could have it all."

Grisha set his eyes on his son, no longer a boy, but a grown man. He noticed that in the past couple of years, he had begun to look a lot more like him. When he was younger, he was a carbon copy of his mother. He still had her eyes, though. That was never going to change. "Listen, Eren,” he spoke firmly, “I don't know if you can make it all right.. But you can start by making better choices for your life. That’s what Carla and I always wanted for you.”

Eren's eyes widened at the mention of his mother's name. He felt a pang of sadness in his chest, knowing that she would’ve been so disappointed with his life choices. "I know. I still want to make her proud. I want to.. become the man that she taught me to be."

Grisha looked at his son for a long moment, studying him carefully. "Alright then. But remember”, he stood up from his seat, collecting his coffee mug, “It’s not just about making things right with everyone else. It's also about making things right with yourself. You have to be at peace with the choices you've made, and you have to be willing to move forward."

Eren nodded, feeling a sense of gratitude towards his father that he hadn’t felt for anyone in years. The first sincere conversation he’s had in a long time. "Thank you, dad. I will."

And forward, he would move. The first step had been taken.

…..

Time moved faster than anything else in the world, relentless and unforgiving, and with it, everything changed. The world spun on its axis, the seasons came and went, and people grew older as well. Nothing stayed the same forever, and that was the nature of life.

Eren felt a sense of nostalgia come over him as he drove through the familiar streets of his hometown.

As he drove past the old diner he used to go all the time with his family and friends, he couldn't help but smile. It was still there, just as he remembered it. The same neon sign, the same red and white checkered tablecloths. It was like stepping back in time.

But as he continued down the road, he noticed how some things were never going to be the same again. The old hardware store that he used to visit with his father was now a trendy coffee shop, complete with outdoor seating and a fancy espresso machine. He couldn't help but shake his head at the irony.

And then, as he walked into the local grocery shop, the one he and his mom used to shop at every week, he realized that it was possible to stay the same, but also go through change. His footsteps echoed on the well-worn floor as he inspected the rows thoroughly. The fresh produce was now positioned at the front of the store, with the intent of driving people to be healthier. The rows of canned goods had been moved to the middle, and the alcohol section which his dad loved to choose from had been moved to the back. And then, there were the things that looked just as he remembered them. More precisely, the bakery sections with their mouth-watering treats.

As he walked past them, he wondered about your favorite dessert. You used to come here together, and with your big sweet tooth, he remembered how you used to watch the treats with hearts in your eyes. He wondered if they still sold the same chocolate cake with strawberry filling that you used to love.

Lost in thought, he didn't notice that someone was walking towards him until it was too late. Eren stumbled backward, almost knocking over a display of apples. "I'm sorry," he said, looking up to see who he had bumped into.

He swore his heart could’ve stopped right then and there.

The person he'd spent the last seven years longing for, the one that had haunted his dreams every night, was now standing in front of him, looking as stunning as ever. You.. you were exactly the same. Your hair was now shorter, with a couple of hairs framing your pretty forehead, but other than that, it was like he was back seven years ago. You had a simple white sundress on, that showcased your collarbones and slender shoulders. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. The one he had let slip through his fingers. His dreams could never do you justice.

"Y/n..,” he muttered, still in shock.

You looked up, your pretty eyes going wider as you took in the image of him, like you’d just seen a ghost, "..Eren?”

Frozen in place, his heart was palpitating as he struggled to process the sight before him. However, his surprise was multiplied when he saw a little girl clutching to your hand, with a tiny dress resembling yours, and a cute little bow on top of her head.

Eren, too stunned to speak anything with a little bit of sense in it, exchanged looks with the little girl. She had dark hair and the most striking eyes he had ever seen.

"Who’s this?", he asked, not leaving his eyes off her.

You visibly swallowed, taking a moment to comprehend his question, "This- this is Lily."

His tongue was tied inside his mouth like he had forgotten how to speak. He had always imagined a reunion with you, but never in a million years did he expect this.

“Is she..?” Eren didn’t know exactly what he was asking, but he knew he needed some kind of answer.

You looked back at the little girl, who was questioningly staring back at Eren, “Yes.. she’s mine.”

He had to take a small step back.

You had a kid.

“I’m sorry.” He said weakly like he’d run a thousand miles. "I didn't mean to intrude."

"It's fine," You replied, voice cold and distant. The shock that you’d felt had now visibly turned into frustration, "We have to go now."

Without another word, you turned on your heel and walked away, the little girl still clutching your hand. He watched you go, feeling a mix of emotions - shock, confusion, sadness.. and happiness. Happiness that he’d finally seen you in the flesh, and not in his dreams.

He couldn't ignore one thing, though. That little girl.. She looked.. No, it couldn't be. Eren stood there, too dumbfounded to move.

When he found the strength to walk back to his car, his mind was racing. He had so many questions, so many things he wanted to say. But he knew that he had to be patient, that he couldn't rush things.

At the end of the day, he didn’t know how many hours he’d spent driving around town with his car. What he did know, was that something important happened today. Something that was probably going to change his life forever.

…..

A/N: Hiii<3 So, the idea for this story is inspired by a movie I watched a few weeks back. If anyone’s watched it, you may find quite a few similarities, but that would be only in this and the next chapter. I just love the idea so so much, and I couldn’t help but imagine it with Eren. I also decided not to make Grisha a bad father just like in every AoT fic I’ve ever read lol. I hope you like it. I’ll try to post the next one soon.💙

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PLZ READ TAGS FOR TRIGGER WARNINGS

𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝙸 𝚃𝚛𝚢 𝚃𝚘 𝙵𝚕𝚢 (𝙸 𝙵𝚊𝚕𝚕)

BuckTommy Fic | M | Chapter 2/? | 5817 words

Prologue | Chapter 1 | ao3

I also made a Tommy Begins-esque tumblr story a little while back which ties into this fic, and since it won’t be added directly to the story I’ll share it here (killing two ideas with one fic… if you will 😂)

Parts: one | two | three | four of the backstory

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚃𝚠𝚘: 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝… 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎

As soon as Tommy pulls Buck’s front door closed, every ounce of anger, all the annoyance, the jealousy—everything his mind had been so desperately clinging to up until this moment—dissipates. He doesn’t know what makes him feel worse: Tommy’s lack of anger that Buck had gone through such great lengths to uncover his past, Tommy not fighting him on the break up (regardless of the tears in his eyes, and the hurt on his face saying he desperately wanted to), or Tommy calling him Buck. 

Or, maybe they’re all equally combined in making it so the second that latch clicks, and he hears Tommy’s footsteps fade off down the hall, he immediately regrets everything. 

The intensity of it surges through his body and overstimulates him. He stands in the middle of his loft while the reality of what just happened—what he’s just done—comes crashing down onto him. He wants to scream, but he can’t breathe. He wants to chase after Tommy, but his feet are cemented to the floor. He squeezes his eyes shut, pinches his arm as hard as he can, and hopes this is just a nightmare and he will open his eyes, and have woken up. 

Instead, when he opens them all he sees is the closed front door. When he finally manages to break them away from that, he sees the flowers, the wine, and the card… He grips his phone in his hands… his fingers are already itching to call Tommy so he can beg him to come back. It was never supposed to come to this. Sure, he was upset… but not relationship ending upset. 

He feels so stupid, and hot-headed… he feels like an asshole… He feels like he definitely doesn’t deserve another second chance, or forgiveness for his once again loose and hurtful lips. Maybe that’s why he doesn’t call, and instead just goes back upstairs, and collapses onto his bed. 

He doesn’t think he really deserves to succumb to the tears building in his eyes, because he did this to himself; but if he does cry it out… at least the exhaustion it will bring might help him fall asleep. He needs to sleep; he has work in the morning. He doesn’t sleep, though. He just lays, curled around his pillow, and spends the night going through all of the pictures of them. 

What was supposed to be years, and years and years spent growing old together… now will only exist as yearly memories. 

Before he knows it his alarms are going off and he has no choice but to drag himself back out of bed. A pot of coffee, black, and an ice cold shower… do nothing to help the exhaustion. He doesn’t even change clothes before sulking out of his loft and down to his Jeep. The drive to the station feels like it takes an eternity. His head has never hurt this bad in his life. Not to mention…

…he now has to tell everyone he ended things with Tommy.

A new wave of dread, nausea, and exhaustion wash over him, and the amount of energy it feels like it is going to take to make himself get out and go face the music is far too great. He considers just driving back home; Bobby would understand.

“S’up Buck!” Eddie says, slapping the hood of the Jeep. Buck jumps so hard it causes Eddie to jump, too. “Whoa, you okay?” Buck looks out the window blinking slowly—because he is too tired to do much else—until Eddie starts to look concerned. 

“I– I’m fine,” Buck lies. “Just… tired.” 

“Tommy told me he was heading over there after his shift…” Eddie says, Buck tenses up, dreading talking about it. “The hell did he do when he got—You know what… I don’t want to know.” Eddie’s face relaxes back into his warm, bright smile—which has finally returned after months of it being nonexistent or just plain forced during everything that happened with Christopher. What’s Buck supposed to do, ruin that with his self-inflicted drama. 

No.

So Buck just goes along with it. He slaps on his best, cheesy, classic Evan “Buck” Buckley smile, laughs at Eddie’s discomfort from the images he put in his own head, and tosses all his woes and regrets into the negative thoughts bin.  He tiptoes around any mention of Tommy, he says the bare minimum when he must, he lies where it is necessary… 

He goes on about his day as if nothing—no major life-altering thing—has happened, and he makes it to the end of his shift managing to leave the team none the wiser about his relationship status. 

He does this for a week. 

Everyone has lives, and their lives are busy, so he plays on that and keeps them talking about themselves instead of him. Apparently Tommy isn’t too keen on sharing the news of their break up either, because he doesn’t mention it to Eddie or Chimney during their game on Thursday. Buck wonders how long he can avoid it; logically, as he gets back into his regular clothes (trying to not look at the picture of him and Tommy hanging up on the inside of the door he hasn’t been able to take down yet) he tells himself this was the last day. He hasn’t spoken to Tommy—not that he thinks Tommy wants to speak to him—and he hasn’t been able to get the courage up to reach out himself. He decides to break the news when he comes back to work. 

“What are you and Tommy doing tonight?” Chimney asks, stopping Buck just as he reaches his Jeep. Buck can feel the color drain from his face, so he keeps his back to him for a moment to compose himself. At least he remembers Tommy’s schedule for the near future so he is able to get out of whatever this invitation is with: “Oh—uh—actually Tommy has a shift today.” 

“I thought he said he was taking a couple days off,” Eddie interrupts. Buck is sure he looks like a deer caught in the headlights. His brain sputters to a stop rather than working on a back up plan, but before he is sure he has to come clean, Eddie snaps his fingers; “No wait, that’s right. He said he was taking time off after this shift.” 

“So you two finally have snagged a few days off together, then?” Hen chimes in, joining them at Buck’s Jeep. “He planning on taking you up to meet Mrs. K, yet?” 

Chimney lets out a dramatic Ooo; he nudges Buck with his elbow. “Those are the big steps, Buckley.” 

Buck tries not to react. 

They had made plans to take a trip up to NorCal to visit Tommy’s mom actually; before… everything. Buck has only spoken to her on the phone—never FaceTimed because she’s older and doesn’t like smart phones—because they were taking it slow. Tommy didn’t want to rush bringing Buck home to his mother; Buck didn’t push, his nerves always in hyperdrive at the thought of her not thinking he was good enough for her baby. 

Tommy’s an only child, and they are extremely close. It was such a big deal to him for her to meet Buck. Tommy swore she already loved him, and she made it seem as such the few times they had spoken. That’s all unimportant now, though… 

“Yeah— yeah, I know… right?” Buck says, a nervous (very unconvincing) laugh bubbling out of him. “We’re definitely taking some… big— big steps on our time off.”

Chimney narrows his eyes, and Buck is certain he is about to start asking questions. “I feel like this just pivoted into sexual territory,” he says, and Buck has to force himself to not sigh in relief. “And I’d very much love to not go there… so changing the subject—”

“Yeah, great… let’s do that,” Buck blurts before he can stop himself, nervously shoving his hands down into his pockets. 

“Uh huh,” Chimney says. “So anyway, do you have plans tonight?” 

Buck should say no. He should go home and get his head straight about all of this… he should consider calling Tommy… and if he decides to not—if he decides to stay broken up—he should figure out how he’s going to tell everyone. “I’m free,” he says instead. 

~~~

The bar is noisy and packed; it’s definitely doing wonders for Buck’s already pounding headache. He has to squint his eyes at the brightness of the dimmed lights just to navigate his way towards the table Chimney is frantically waving him over from. “Hey! You made it,” he says, moving further into the booth so Buck can sit. “Everyone else should be here soon.”

“Cool,” Buck replies. “Cool, cool, cool…” He swallows around the nausea that everything—the lack of sleep, the pounding headache, the entire situation—is causing. A young bubbly waitress comes up, pad waiting to take his drink order. “Water,” he tells her, and that’s enough to get Chimney curious. 

“You ok?” 

“Uh— uhm— yeah, I’m fine. Why?” Chimney cocks a brow, Buck knows why. “It’s just… I think I’m coming down with something,” he lies. “Figure I should avoid making it worse with alcohol.” 

Chimney keeps eyeing him like he’s not buying it, but Hen and Ravi thankfully walk in to distract him. Of course the distraction is short lived because both of them question his glass of water the second the waitress sits it down in front of him. “He says he’s sick,” Chimney fills them in.

“Buck’s sick?” Eddie asks, joining them. He furrows his brows at Buck, concerned. 

“I’m fine!” Buck manages to laugh. “I just feel like I could be catching something.”

“Keep it to yourself please,” Ravi says, letting Hen in before him so he’s furthest from Buck. “I can’t afford to get sick!”

Buck sighs, taking a sip from his water, and looks around the bar. “Is Bobby coming?” 

“Nah he and ‘Thena have the house to themselves tonight,” Hen replies. 

“Oh god… I don’t even want to think about what they’re doing,” Ravi quickly says, cringing. Everyone agrees. Buck kind of feels a little bit better. 

That is until he sees an oh too familiar body slump down on a stool up at the bar. What the hell… he thinks, as he watches Tommy order a drink from the bartender. No one else knows he’s there; the booth they’re in isn’t facing the bar… Buck was just looking around and happened to see him, and since he has not looked in their direction since Buck spotted him it’s likely he doesn’t know they are there either. 

So back to Buck’s original thought; what the hell… is Tommy doing here? He was supposed to have a shift… not that he owes Buck an explanation of his whereabouts… but still. 

Then some guy walks up to the bar, right to the seat beside Tommy; and Tommy looks at him and smiles. It probably shouldn’t make Buck’s blood boil the way it does… but it most definitely does. The next thing he knows he’s out of his seat and walking towards them. He thinks someone at the booth asks where he’s going; he thinks he hears someone ask if that’s Tommy; he thinks he is maybe just overreacting about halfway across the room…

Then Buck is spotted by the guy— he looks up directly at him, and he is very familiar. Buck stalls; it’s Sal. There’s a sudden relief in recognizing the person there with Tommy… not that it matters if he were on a—

Sal says something to Tommy, then grabs his face and kisses him. 

Buck feels like the wind is sucked completely out of him. Tommy jolts away from Sal and frantically turns around, locking eyes with Buck instantly. His eyes go wide and he scrambles to his feet and towards Buck, who is already walking back to the booth as fast as he can. He blinks back his tears and tries to not think about the many eyes on him (most notably from his team). 

Tommy catches him and grabs his arm just before he reaches the booth. “What?!” He snaps, bitterly. 

“You don’t understand— that wasn’t what it looked like!” Tommy cries, he sounds winded, or desperate. Buck is hurt enough (justified or not) that he doesn’t care either way. “Evan, please let me—” 

“Oh,” Buck scoffs. “So now it’s Evan again?” 

Tommy deflates, he lets go of Buck’s arm and stares at the floor. “That was— I’m sorry about that…” he says softly. 

There’s a split second Buck wants to just let it go. He was considering trying to fix things already… This is his chance, and Tommy is willing to talk, but he sees Sal watching them from the bar and the anger comes rushing back. “What’s there to talk about? You don't have to explain yourself, Tommy… it’s not like we’re together anyway, right?” 

“What?!” He hears Hen ask from the booth. 

“Since when,” Eddie adds. 

“Apparently long enough for him to already move on,” Buck says. Sure, it’s petty… but he’s having a hard time making himself care. He grabs his keys off the table, throws some money down towards the tab, and is walking towards the exit… leaving everyone watching after him in confusion. Everyone, of course, except for Tommy who is hot on his heels. 

“Evan, stop…” 

Buck ignores him for the most part, getting all the way to his Jeep before he finally turns around. “No, Tommy, you stop. Stop making excuses… or trying to make me understand. It’s— it’s pointless… I don’t want to hear it.” 

“Then what do you want to hear? I’ll tell you anything you want to hear!” Tommy’s eyes already look red even just under the dim street light. “You’re right, I was way too guarded about my life…” he continues. “So I’ll tell you everything: About Jay, about the army, about my childhood… I don’t care— I can’t— Baby, I have been losing my mind this past week… I can’t live like this—without you. Please…”

Buck feels like his heart is being ripped in two. “You sure seemed like you were living just fine without me in there…” he says, biting his tongue after. 

Tommy covers his face, Buck can hear him sniffling and whimpering behind his hands… he has never seen Tommy like this. It makes him want to grab him and hold him and apologize. He should be the one apologizing! The thought gets shoved back down by the louder, angrier ones. “I’m so sorry, I fucked all this up, I know that. But that was just Sal being an idiot!” Tommy says. “He thought it would make you jealous…” 

“So you let him kiss you to make me jealous?!”

“No! I didn’t know— Evan please…”

“Maybe you should… just stick with Buck,” Buck says. Tommy’s face falls more. He takes a step, his mouth falls open like he’s going to speak. Buck turns back to his Jeep, opens the door and climbs inside. “I’ll— uh… I’ll see you around.” Then he pulls the door closed and jams the key in and takes off, leaving Tommy standing there, dumbfounded. 

He spares one glance in his rearview mirror—catches Tommy just as he pulls a fist back and connects it with the light pole. 

~~~

It’s not like Buck has never been through a break up before. He’s been through a few of them, actually. Bad ones… This time shouldn’t be any different.

Except for the fact that there are a plethora of reasons this time is completely different. 

Everyone likes Tommy, for one. He has potentially been Buck’s only partner that not a single person in his life has disliked. His parents even like Tommy. (That is saying so much it makes Buck sick to even think about having to tell them it's over.)

There’s also the little (extremely significant) detail of everyone telling Buck to leave this whole mess Gerrard stirred up alone. Now, Buck has to face the fact that he, in fact, did the exact opposite, then used that as the fuel that ultimately blew up the relationship. 

It shouldn’t have surprised him when everyone tries to tell him maybe he needs to step back and reconsider this decision. It shouldn’t have surprised him when after all was said and out there they seem to sympathize less with Buck and more with Tommy. It really shouldn’t have surprised him—after he walks in to work the next day, and overhears Chimney telling everyone Tommy shattered his hand with that punch—when all eyes turn judgingly onto him. 

Doesn’t make it suck any less that it seems like no one is on his side. 

“Of course I’m on your side,” Maddie says, after he confides this to her. She reaches across the table to squeeze Buck’s hand. “I just want you to be one hundred percent sure this is what you want. I mean… you were so happy together.”

“And then I found out he was hiding stuff from me…”

Maddie’s face shifts, she tries to shift it back but Buck sees. She sighs: “Was he really hiding it from you… or had he just not told you about it… maybe because it was a difficult memory.” 

Buck scoffs and pulls his hand away. “But you’re on my side…” 

Surprisingly Maddie’s face doesn’t soften. “That’s not fair,” she says. “I can be on your side, and still point out the flaws in your reasoning, Buck.” 

And even if he wants to argue with that, he can’t. 

Hen and Chimney haven’t necessarily been avoiding him at work, but they haven’t necessarily tried to stop Buck from avoiding them—like they normally would—which tells him all he needs to know about where they stand. Eddie has remained neutral, but in remaining neutral he has distanced himself from them both. (Well… he has definitely distanced himself from Buck.) Bobby gives Buck that worried papa bear look everytime he sees him, but he pointedly doesn’t bring it up… 

Ravi is— At least Ravi is still Ravi. He blurts out needing to call in air support when they are at difficult fires. He asks if Tommy is still available for car problems, given everything… He asks when they are all going out again—Buck included—as if anyone wants to be around Buck at the moment. 

Regardless… Buck would have never guessed when the Buckley-Kinard divorce era finally happened (maybe a part of him always planned on this ending, like his relationships always do…) Tommy would be the one to be granted custody of the 118 family… his family. 

That jealousy that had taken root inside of him from Jay, begins to grow and blossom; logically Buck knows the rage he feels from it should be aimed at himself, but instead he turns it outward. He projects onto everyone around him who clearly sees Tommy as the fan favorite. Clearly no one wants to see Buck’s side of the story… Clearly they don’t care about him as much as they used to act like they did…

Clearly he is reaching. Logically he knows this. Unfortunately he is too lost in his own head to stop himself. 

Then the 217 starts to reach out. 

It’s about a week after the blow up at the bar. First, it’s a call from Lucy, asking him—demanding him, really—to talk to Tommy. “He’s a wreck, dude… just— I don’t know… Just consider hearing him out?” 

“Hear him out about what?” Buck snaps back. 

“About all of it! God damn, Buck, do you even fully know what you’re mad at him about?!” 

“I— what— what the hell is that supposed to mean? Of course I do!” 

She laughs, actually laughs at him and hangs up. 

Next it’s an older pilot, James McCarty, who comes into the station requesting to speak to the kid. He just wants him to know Tommy is starting to slack at work. He’s getting careless. Buck looks from McCarty to the team eavesdropping from upstairs. He feels his face heat up. “What am I supposed to do about that…” he asks, trying to ignore how bitter and petty he sounds. 

“Look, kid, maybe whatever you two had was one-sided… I’m letting you know what’s going on.” Buck tenses his jaw, pushes back the bile that statement brings, and how it reminds him of what he said to Tommy about Jay. “I guess I just figured he meant a little more to you than that, maybe I was wrong.” 

Buck itches to correct him, instead he stands firmly planted in place and watches him turn and leave. 

When reaching out to Buck gets them nowhere the 217 starts reaching out to the 118… and then the 118 starts trying to convince Buck to talk to Tommy; which only makes the anger grow despite the little voice in the back of Buck’s head telling him maybe he should listen to them. 

“Why are you acting so childish about this, Buck?” Hen blocks the exit to the lockers when he groans and tries to leave. “Stop getting so defensive, no one is attacking you… It’s a legitimate question.” 

“I really don’t want to do this, Hen…” Buck says. He crosses his arms tightly over his chest and leans back into his locker. Hen gives him that look; she’s not backing down either… they might be here a while. “I told you what I found,” he tries, and her glare intensifies. It’s true, in a last ditch effort to not be painted the bad guy in this Buck told them everything he found—ignored how grimey it made him feel to bring up Tommy’s personal business—and just stood there waiting for them to jump ship. It didn’t happen, of course… 

“Buck, all that proves is that you went digging for something to be mad about,” Hen sighs. “Look… I get it, okay? I’ve been there… feeling like you’re doomed to be unhappy in love… and then you find someone who is different. Someone who is good, and honest, and just too perfect to be real. So what do you do? You sit and wait for it to go south… and when it doesn’t you end up sending it there yourself.” Buck shifts his feet, looks at his hands instead of Hen… so maybe she won’t be able to read him like an open book… so maybe she can’t tell he knows she’s right. “Buck, you remember when you asked me what I thought the secret to happiness was?” Buck finally looks at her… “I really thought—I’d hoped you’d finally figured it out…” Then she’s gone, and Buck is left with that to weigh on his mind the rest of the night. 

It’s still on his mind when he walks back into the station for his next shift. 

Everyone is gathered around the engines, looking up to the second floor; to where Bobby and the captain of the 217 are having a very serious looking conversation. “What’s going on?” Buck asks, about ninety percent certain that conversation is about him. Everyone looks at him, no one says anything.

“Buck,” Bobby calls down, both men now looking at him. “In my office.” 

Captain Collier says something to Bobby then turns and starts down the stairs, eyes remaining fixed on Buck until he feels like he might come out of his skin if he doesn’t get away from them. He pushes through the small crowd and goes into Bobby’s office to wait. Bobby barks for everyone to stop being nosey; he sounds pissed… Buck dreads this conversation. 

Bobby walks in, shuts the door behind him, and slowly crosses the room to his desk. He sighs as he drops down into the seat, and motions for Buck to do the same in the chair in front of him. “I’m sure you already know what that was about,” Bobby starts, running his hands over his eyes tiredly. Buck nods. “Listen kid, I’m not about to tell you what to do; I can’t demand you go talk to Tommy. I do, however, think you should.” 

“Cap I—” 

Bobby throws a hand up, and Buck snaps his mouth shut. “Look I don’t know the full story, and it's not my business. I don’t want to play favorites; I’m not here to take sides. If you don’t want to be with Tommy… don’t be with him. I’ll set my opinion on that to the side and let you be a grown up and make your own decision. But Tommy is not the only one who needs closure from this; you do too, Buck.” 

“What— what do you mean?” 

“You’re letting this drive a wedge between you and your team,” Bobby says. “You have to have each other's backs out there and you are barely speaking to any of them.” Buck goes to say it’s more they aren’t speaking to him, but is met with Bobby’s raised hand again. “I want you to consider talking to him…”

Buck fidgets in the chair. “I doubt he wants to—”

“Buck stop… if Tommy didn’t want to talk to you he wouldn’t be grieving this hard over losing you.” 

“He— he’s grieving…” Buck says quietly. 

The look Bobby gives him is almost comical; it's so exhaustive. “Have you just been tuning everyone out who’s been trying to tell you that, kid?” 

Buck shrugs; he kind of has. “I don’t know why he’s grieving me.” 

Bobby groans: “I really didn’t want to get in the middle of this,” he mutters, before pushing himself to his feet and walking around the desk. “You ever think it could have something to do with him loving you? Or maybe that you actually do matter to him.” Bobby sighs. “You know… I was so happy to see you grow up in this relationship, given your history… but it seems like maybe it got a little bit too real— too serious— too grown up. So you turned and started running in the other direction ” 

“But— But he—”

“He what, Buck? Didn’t tell you about something from his past.” Bobby crosses his arms and sits on his desk. “Look, kid, just because you have no problem over sharing doesn’t mean everyone can. Sometimes things are too big, they hurt too bad… Did you ever think maybe he was planning on telling you one day? Bottom line is he didn’t owe you that information… and you let it sit and fester until it turned into a problem… and rather than fix it you got mad that people called you out on it.”

“Wh- what about him kissing Sal… he seemed to have moved on pretty—” 

“Again… did you even stop to think maybe you had it wrong?” Buck falters; he did think that… he didn’t really dwell on the thought long though. “Chimney said Tommy talked to them after you stormed out. It turns out Sal was in town, so Tommy took off a day earlier than he was going to, to catch up. He confided in Sal about the break up, and Sal suggested going out for drinks… Sal saw you were there, and thought maybe if he gave you a little competition… you would get jealous and take Tommy back.” 

Buck is… confused, if not dumbfounded… but mostly confused. “Kind of a bold move,” he says more to himself, but Bobby still laughs. 

“Yeah Sal’s good for making some questionable heat of the moment decisions…” Bobby says with a sarcastic laugh. “Kind of reminds me of someone, actually.” 

Buck can feel his cheeks heating up. “So— so your saying I should try to fix this?”

“I’m saying you should take a moment and look at this whole situation. Then do what you feel like needs to be done… whatever that may be.” He tells Buck to go home, and to take a couple days to get this figured out; that he wants it resolved and for Buck to have a clear head (and hopefully Tommy will too) when he comes back to work. 

Buck reluctantly agrees, and leaves, trying to avoid everyone and their curious judgmental stares as he walks out of the station. He climbs into his Jeep, feeling every bit like the terrible person he’s sure everyone thinks he is—feeling like he definitely deserves to feel like it, too. 

~~~

Buck spends most of the morning trying to work up the courage to call Tommy. It’s past noon before he finally manages it. The call goes straight to voicemail. He waits an hour and tries again. Again, straight to voicemail. Buck groans and collapses on his bed. Maybe he should just go over there…

Of course, Tommy’s not home. 

Buck contemplates just sending a text for him to call after he gets off… except when he gets back in his Jeep he drives straight to Harbor. He’s met out in the lot by Collier. “Damn, that was quick,” he laughs. “If I’d have known Nash would be able to get you over here that fast I’d have come to him to begin with.” 

“Uh… yeah, well…” Buck feels like his face is on fire. “Is— Is Tommy here?”

“Should be back soon,” Collier replies. “He is flying over Angeles Forest; got some calls about a possible fire… a ground crew already checked it out, we’re just following up. You’re more than welcome to wait for him here,” he offers. 

Buck should say no, if the glares around the station give any indication how the time will be spent… “Uh, yeah— yeah, sure, that would be… great,” he says instead.

Collier leads him into the station, towards where Lucy and Morris are sitting. The two are watching him and whispering to each other instead of their usual greetings—teasing jokes about how much Tommy talks their ears off about him. “I’ll let him know you’re here,” Collier says, gesturing for Buck to sit on the couch; both firefighters get up and leave the area as he does. 

Not even an hour passes before Buck is too antsy, awkward, and annoyed to stay seated. 

He goes to Collier’s office, knocks, and pushes the door open. “Hey listen I’m just gonna—”

Like a mirror of Bobby, Collier throws a hand up, silencing Buck. “Are we certain this isn’t a prank call,” he says into the phone, before lifting his walkie to his mouth and panickedly radioing Tommy, only to get no answer. “I understand— it’s just that I recently spoke to him, ma’am.” Buck wonders if Collier told Tommy he was at the station. “I want to be sure they are positive they saw a helicopter go down—” is the last thing Buck hears. 

Then he is moving. 

Away from Collier’s office, out of the station, across the lot to his Jeep. He doesn’t even put his seat belt on before he is driving in the direction of Angeles Forest. 

Buck throws the Jeep into park at the edge of the forest; doesn’t even lock it and slams the door closed behind him. He doesn’t even know what direction to go in. He doesn’t even know if they saw it go down in this forest, or in a forest at all… he just knows he has to find Tommy. 

He is running blind, he knows that. The forest is massive and his chances of getting lost are far higher than his chances of actually finding Tommy. 

But he has to try. 

He runs until he loses track of which way he’s going, or where he’s already been. Until the land is no longer flat that he is running on, and he is leaping over fallen trees and boulders and brush. Until his legs—specifically his bad leg—are burning and aching and ready to give out… but then he just pushes himself to run faster. 

And as if by some miracle… he finds the helicopter.

Off a little ways in the distance—just as Buck is almost ready to give up hope… or at least slow down for the sake of his legs—he spots it. Part of the propeller is broken off, the front window is busted out, the tail is snapped in half… and it’s caught between two trees, about thirty feet above the ground. “Oh god…” Buck gasps, faltering his running to take in the sight. The helicopter is tilting and the door has fallen open. “Tommy.” 

He is hunched over, seemingly unconscious… possibly worse—Buck can’t let his mind go there, not yet. He has to stay focused because Tommy is literally hanging out of the open door. All that is holding him in is a single strap across his chest.

Buck tries to pick up speed, but his legs are so tired; too tired. He screams at them—at himself—to go, move, run faster. He has to get to Tommy. He has to save him. He has no idea how… but he has to. 

“I— I’m coming!” He calls out to him, doubtful that it’s heard; between the noises all around them, and the fact that Tommy doesn’t appear to be alert, Buck is sure he doesn’t hear—

Tommy moves.

He groans.

“T- Tommy,” Buck gasps, barely above a whisper. He thinks there’s no way he is heard that time but still Tommy’s head lifts, his eyes instantly meet with Buck’s. His face is covered in blood and so swollen that one eye is completely closed; and yet he smiles. He looks directly at Buck and even from the distance Buck still is away from him, he can see the wave of relief that seems to wash over Tommy. Like just seeing Buck has made what is an incredibly dire situation into a simple walk in the park. 

He shifts his body, and the helicopter creaks. The limit that the tension being put on the belt can take is being tested. “T- Tommy! Tommy, don't move!” Buck screams; reality rushing back to him as he tries again to somehow get more momentum into his now limping feet so he gets there faster. 

“E- Evan…” Tommy calls out to him, and Buck suddenly loves his name. He swears he will call and thank his parents for giving him that name and even allow them to use it again. If he can just reach the trees and get Tommy out safe. 

Buck mentally pleads with his legs to move faster. He has no idea what he’s going to do; he will climb up to him if he has to, crawl across the wrecked helicopter and then carry Tommy down on his back… if that’s what it takes. He doesn’t care. He will do anything.

He’s so close. 

There’s another creak. 

A snap. 

The belt suddenly goes slack. 

It no longer matters how fast Buck runs… there is nothing he can do. Tommy falls from the helicopter—his hands frantically reaching around, trying to grab something to stop it—and he collides with the ground just as Buck reaches him.

My little tag list for this fic 🫶 @bucksxkinard @30somethingautisticteacher @do-androids-dream-ao3acc @girlwonder-writes … I think that’s everyone (let me know if you want to be added 🫣😂) hope y’all like the next chapter of angst!

[caged-canaria]

Soragumi's National Tour: Great Pirates/Heat On Beat Review, or How Soragumi Gave Me My Groove Back And How I Got There

TW: mentions of the incident (implied)

I miss my old life.

What a way to begin a review about a silly Takarazuka performance right?

I miss when I was 19 and a baby fan and... quite simply a baby with all my dreams yet to be realized. When I discovered Takarazuka, my dream was to move to Japan. After a lot of waiting and wishing and hoping, that dream came true.

As I welcomed my second year living in Japan, I started to contemplate where I'd be going from here. I started to look back on where I had come from, and I started to miss my wide-eyed self.

I missed coming home in 2017 and watching Tsukigumi on repeat while trying to ignore exams just lurking around the corner.

Personally, Zuka had not been "fun" in the past year. For... obvious reasons, and also because it just started to feel distant to me. I didn't feel connected to Tsukigumi as I had been before, even though my oshi, Kazama Yuno, was there so I watched them a number of times. And Soragumi... well...

My home troupe had been Tsukigumi for a good chunk of my early Takarazuka fan life, then when I moved, my first live show was High&Low/Capricciosa. It changed my life seeing Takarazuka in the flesh. As soon as I saw Makaze Suzuho, the tears started flowing and when I saw *Kiki*... Oh...

(And then Zun beamed into my opera glasses during Capricciosa and my heart was hers from then on)

All that to say, Soragumi turned into my favorite troupe.

Then the latter half of 2023 happened.

I wasn't able to see Le Grand Escalier because I had qualms about seeing Soragumi after what had happened. I was full of complex feelings, as was... Is... everyone, probably.

But seeing them again... oh, the complete and utter joy it brought me.

As soon as the curtains lifted to reveal Serika Toa I started weeping. Seeing her again felt like the a nostalgic wave crash into me. I felt a piece of my "old life" had come back to me. I couldn't stop weeping but my glasses were starting to fog up so I told myself to hold it together.

It was nice to see Soragumi again.

I had not seen any previous production of Great Pirates before, so I was coming in blind. My expectations were very low, but thanks to that, I had a great time!

The story wasn't stellar. It felt much longer than 95 minutes. There were many scenes that felt like padding to me that while showed off the kakyuusei, didn't do much to further the plot or develop the characters.

The main character, Emilio felt very flat to me. He had this whole revenge story which in theory should be compelling but... it wasn't. Serika Toa did a great job at trying to give this character layers but there's only so much she can do when the character has 2 layers at most. She's so tall and commanding.

Sakura didn't have much to do in this one, but I couldn't complain because most of her few scenes had her singing and I can listen to Sakura sing for years and years. She is, in my humble opinion, the best musumeyaku vocalist in Zuka right now. She looked like a doll in her blonde wig and her big, beautiful gowns. She brought determination to Elaine and her love duet with Serika Toa was so lush and breathtaking. Those two have the most beautiful voices together.

Zun was great as Kidd, giving him a sense of maturity despite his aggressive nature. I felt like he and Kiki had good chemistry together which made me feel like the true romance in this show was between Kidd and Emilio. They even had a little slow burn, tsundere friendship going on which I very much enjoyed.

The dark horse in this show for me was Sendou Naru, who was one of sexy villain Moeko's sexy henchmen. She was Hamming it up and she looked like she enjoyed every second of the role. I hope we get more roles like this for Naru in the future!

There was also Mashiro Yuuki, who played comic relief. She's always very funny so it was fun training my opera glasses towards her to see what kind of mischief her character was up to. (When I saw it, Sakura accidentally dropped her hair ribbon during the romantic duet and I wondered who was gonna pick it up and then Mashiro adlibbed picking it up and played with it too! It was great. She's very clever!)

The songs were good, classic Takarazuka fare. But *Soragumi* sounded so beautiful together, the choral parts were sublime. My enjoyment of each song number was doubled because of how well Soragumi delivered them.

The climax was my favorite part of the show right up until the ending. I had no idea that would be the ending because I had never seen Great Pirates before and wow did I feel so unsatisfied.

All in all, Great Pirates was not great but there were many parts of it that were enjoyable. It also gave birth to a new ship so that's always a plus in my book!

Now, for the main event, Heat On Beat. This is Kikigumi's only proper revue. And wow, did they make the most of it.

Heat On Beat had always been Tsukigumi, performed by Sena Jun, Kiriya Hiromu and Ryuu Masaki. Like Great Pirates, I had not seen any production of HOB before (shamefully. Or maybe I have, but I had forgotten) so I came in not knowing a lot about it. I was expecting a lot of dancing and a lot of Heat and boy, did they give me that!

When Kiki first turned to face the audience, she was met with cheers. And I felt the vibe shift. I was having *fun*. Of course it goes without saying that Takarazuka is always fun for me but that was the first time I felt laid back. This was fun, I thought.

Heat on Beat was a delight from start to finish. There were no lulls and even the ballad parts never slowed the show down. In fact, I wanted it to be longer! I wanted it to go on forever. It was a revue full of Latin and jazz numbers.

Sakura was dazzling in every scene she was in. Like... wow what a gorgeous girl and what a gorgeous presence. Her voice soared all throughout the theatre and I felt so lucky to be able to hear it. There was one scene wherein she used her lower register and Wow did the hairs on my arm stand so quickly. My favorite scene of hers was definitely the punk girl scene, her smile is captivating. Please watch her!

Zun was also great and her chemistry with Sakura is impeccable. I think they would make a great top combi. (Fingers crossed!)

Soragumi did a great job as well. I can't go without mentioning my new child Sendou Naru, of course, but everyone did well! Moeko and Kotty all gave great performances! (But they were always in the same scene as Naru so my opera glasses were trained on her, haha.)

Serika Toa's legs are loooooong. And they sure do make use of those long legs in this show. There's a lot of leg choreography and the tango is the best dance to show off Kiki's legs. Anyway, enough about her legs.

Kiki is a top star.

I was fully intent on locking in on Zun during the kuroenbi but then there was something so commanding about it that made me just put my opera glasses down and watch the entire thing. The formations were beautiful, the choreography very cool. I heard people weeping as it went on. Please don't miss this kuroenbi. This would be Kiki's last proper kuroenbi after all, so the girls truly gave it their all. (And in the theatre I watched it in, the girls' steps were very audible so it made it feel even more impactful)

Heat on Beat was a treat. It brought me so, so much joy. I felt more pieces of my old life coming back and I asked myself why.

Why, of all times, did I feel so joyous?

Then it was when I realized that Heat on Beat was from Tsukigumi and Soragumi had made it their own. Two pieces of my past coming back as something new... it felt full circle.

I am glad I saw Soragumi. I am glad I saw Great Pirates and Heat on Beat. It gave me the hope to keep going and reignited my love for Takarazuka. Thank you, Soragumi.

The dream continues...!

Side story: I was staying in a hostel in a women's only dormitory room and the staff asked me if I was there to travel and I was like "I'm seeing Takarazuka!" and he was like "A lot of guests have come to see Takarazuka today!" and then lo and behold all the ladies in my dormitory room were Takarazuka fans and we all gushed about our faves and Soragumi and we all became fast acquaintances!

[jeridandridge]

Only Girl

You go on a Schemmenti family vacation and have a very important question for Melissa.

As soon as the plane touches down in Italy your anxiety sky rockets. In a jewelry shop 45 minutes away from the hotel you’re staying in, the engagement ring you bought for Melissa sits. Thanks to her cousin Joey you were able to find the most perfect ring and order it so you could propose early on the vacation.

You can’t help but lean over kissing your girlfriends cheek. “You’re so cute.” You giggle looking at her beaming smile.

“I’m so happy.” She squeezes your hand.

In the airport everyone grabs their luggage and Joey gives you a discreet thumbs up after checking his phone.

It takes two cars to get everyone to the hotel, you with Joey, his kids, and Annette in one car while Melissa, her nana, Uncle Tommy, his sons, and Kristen riding in another.

“Take a load off, y/n.” Joey laughs. “We’re not even at the hotel yet.”

“I know I know.” You nod. “I figure if I freak out now while in a separate car I’ll be fine the rest of the day.” You laugh nervously.

“Wait what’s going on?” Joeys son Anthony chimes in.

You twist in your seat looking back at the kid. You’d grown close to Melissa’s family over the past two years, especially Anthony. “I’m asking Mel to marry me.” You smile.

“No way!” Bianca, joeys daughter smiles from the back.

“Way.” You laugh. “So I need you guys to keep it quiet until dinner tomorrow night.”

In the other car as you all get closer to the hotel, Melissa’s nanna, Maria, sits grilling her granddaughter.

“Cara, when are you going to ask that girl to marry you?”

“Nanna!”

“What? It’s a good question!” She defends with a shrug.

“Nanna, we’ve talked about it but we’re in no rush. She knows how I feel about it.”

“You should bag her before she runs off.” Kristen grumbles. Maria reaches over to smack her other granddaughter.

“Careful, Kristen don’t make me knock those fake nails off a ya.” Melissa glares.

Family vacation is off to a great start.

At the hotel everyone gathers their things and files into the gorgeous lobby. You couldn’t stop looking around, the curved architecture of the ceiling holding you in a trance.

“Tesoro,” Melissa laughs reaching for your hand, “Ready to see our room?”

“Yeah, this place is beautiful. It’s not like the tourist traps I thought I’d see.” You smile following her to the elevators.

“They built it in the ‘60s, it was a hot spot for artists.” Melissa informs you with bright eyes. You can’t help but smile at the redhead as she goes into the history of the hotel.

You look at the cage style doors pushing them open when you reach the floor. “We’re in 1201.” Melissa reads off the card.

You feel a giddy excitement as you walk down the hall, your hand finding the small of Melissa’s back when she opens the door. “I think it’s time for wine on the balcony.” You grin kissing her shoulder.

“You read my mind.”

Unpacking your bags for the almost two week stay you pull out an evening dress for the balcony and dinner later that night.

When Melissa changes you let out a whistle when you see her red dress. The sight of your girlfriend smirking at you in a gorgeous room over looking the water with the sound of the waves crashing have you in a euphoric state. it couldn’t get much better than this. “Now I’m really in Heaven.”

“Sweet talker.” Melissa comes over wrapping her arms around you resting her head on your shoulder as you get out of your jeans and tshirt. Turning your head you meet her lips in a soft kiss, getting lost in her hold on you.

“If we start something now we’ll never make it to dinner tonight.” You smile resting your head against hers.

“I’d skip a meal just for you.”

You let out a giggle resting your hand on top of hers before moving to step into your floral dress. “We can’t do that, I don’t wanna piss your nanna off.”

“I hate when you’re right.” She teases letting go of you. “I’ll get the wine.”

Slipping into your dress you adjust your hair and opt to go barefoot up the one step to the private balcony that overlooks the sand and water. Melissa hands you a glass before pulling you onto her lap in one of the chairs. Smiling like an idiot you wrap your arm around her neck pulling her into searing kiss with a hum.

Breaking away you rest your forehead against hers. “There’s no where else I’d rather be than right here.” You whisper.

Melissa beams, warmth radiating through her chest. You were so special to her and she was so happy to share this family trip with you. She strokes your cheek with her thumb meeting your eyes.

“I love you, angel.”

In that moment you realize that your decision to propose on this trip was the best idea you’ve ever had.

“I love you.” You grin clinking your wine glass against hers.

You two sit in comfortable silence together, sipping your wine and stealing kisses as you watch the sun dip into the waves below. When the bottle of wine is polished off your phone chimes, a text from Joey letting you know that he made it back from the jewelry shop.

“What’s Joey sayin?”

Your eyes go wide and immediately turn the phone off. “He said the car is almost here.” You smile recovering easily.

In a few minutes you and Melissa get to the lobby where Maria is talking to the concierge and everyone else is hanging around. You squeeze Melissa’s hand jogging over to where Joey and Anthony are waiting.

“Hey, y/n! I got it right here.” Joey says quietly.

“Perfect! Perfect, I think I’m gonna do it tonight. After dinner. I can’t wait anymore.” You beam.

Anthony jumps up squeezing your arm. “Do it!”

“Okay, okay,” you laugh, “keep it chill remember?” You say quietly, discreetly taking the ring box from Joey.

“Pockets!” You beam turning in your dress heading over to Melissa and Kristen.

“There’s the only person on the planet that can stand my sister.”

You smile wrapping your arm around Melissa’s waist. “You know Kristen, I’m having such a good time even your D - attitude isn’t gonna bother me.”

“Ha! Alright, Melissa. I like this one.” She points at you before going to Maria.

“Wow, it only took two years.” You roll your eyes when Melissa starts to laugh.

“Cmon, hon. You don’t have to sit by the wicked witch of the east coast.”

Not long later you’re seated with everyone on a gorgeous patio with wine in hand. Everyone’s laughing and having a good time and you couldn’t be happier sitting across from your love. Giving her a wink as you sip your wine you pay attention to uncle Tommy sitting next to you.

“Hey, Joey and Annette let me in on your plan. I’m really excited for you two.” He smiles.

“Thank you, Tommy.” You give him a grateful nod. “I just need to ask Maria for her permission and I’ll be set.”

Tommy looks at you with a smile of approval patting your shoulder. “Going for the head of the family, I like it. I’ll get Melissa out on the dance floor with the kids after dinner that way you can talk to Ma.”

“You’re the best, Tommy.” You smile patting his arm.

“No no, Melissa cut the hair off my doll first THEN I drew on her face in permanent marker.” Kristen explains through a laugh.

“You girls made my blood pressure go up.” Maria laughs along with the table.

You catch Melissa’s eyes across the table giving her a warm smile just before Anthony and Bianca come up to her. “Mel, come dance with us!” They drag her out to the stone walkway where a few others are dancing to the classic Italian guitar.

While Melissa goes off to dance with the kids you make your way over to the other side of the table, your hand over the tin box in your pocket.

“Maria, can I speak to you for a sec?” You beam.

“Of course, cara ragazza. Are you having a good time?”

“Absolutely! It’s beautiful and I’m so happy to be here with all of you.”

Kristen rolls her eyes downing her wine. “Out with it, pipsqueak.”

You shoot her a glare you reserve just for her, almost a frenemy type situation between you two since you started dating Melissa.

Maria takes your hands ignoring her other granddaughter.

“Maria, I love Melissa and your family and I would really like to have your blessing so I can ask her to marry me.”

The older woman’s eyes well up as she squeezes your hands pulling you into a bone crushing hug. For such a small woman you felt like she could break you.

“My dear girl, yes you have my blessing.” She smiles holding onto your shoulders when she pulls back. “I’ve never seen my grand baby so happy. Not since she was a cosa giovane. I see how you look at her and how you treat her. She’s deserved someone like you for a long time.” She all but weeps wiping her eyes.

Listening to Nannas words you look out to the dance floor seeing Melissa laugh and spin with her young cousins, the fairy lights from the patio making everything look like a dream.

“I’m lucky to have her. Thank you, Nanna.” You smile hugging the woman again.

“I’m too old for that!” Melissa laughs coming back to the table. “Nanna, are you okay?” She asks, smile immediately falling.

The older redhead waves her off drying her eyes. “I was having a nice heart to heart with y/n is all. Nothing to worry about.

You smile at the redhead, Maria winking at you.

You’re extremely excited now, still nervous but grateful to have the blessing from the most important person in Melissa’s family. For the rest of the evening you relax enjoying everyone’s company.

“Baby, let’s go down by the water for a bit.” You suggest wrapping your arm with Mel as you two get out of the car.

“Yeah? Wanna walk in the sand like a mushy couple?” She beams at you.

“Exactly.” You grin. Looking over your shoulder Joey gives you a thumbs up before you two break away from the group heading out the back to the beach.

Full from dinner and more wine, you hold Melissa’s hand as you two walk barefoot in the sand down to the glistening shoreline.

“God look at that moon.” You beam wrapping your arm around her waist. The ring box in your pocket sits against your thigh as you two walk across the cool sand, practically burning a hole in the fabric.

“It’s the perfect night.”

You hum pulling her closer. “I think it could be even better.”

She gives you a curious look and before she can say anything else you’re kneeling in front of her pulling the ring out of your pocket. Melissa looks at you with a gasp, her eyes going to the gold band that holds a green sapphire surrounded by other diamonds. It was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, and it was now hers.

“Mel, I want the movie nights, family dinners, parties, the vacations, and the opportunity to introduce you as my wife. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” You smile with tears in your eyes. “Marry me?”

Melissa beams through her own happy tears pulling you up and wrapping her arms around your neck.

“Yes! A million times yes, Tesoro.” She laughs holding you tight. You keep your hand on her lower back and the other holds the ring box as she cries into your hair. For a moment, time freezes and it’s just you two and the water.

“Hell yeah!!” You hear whoops and hollers from up the beach causing you and Melissa to separate just enough to look over to see your entire group, and most importantly Maria crying tears of joy. Even Kristen gives a thumbs up your way.

You can’t help but laugh seeing Tommy and Joey smoking cigars in celebration.

“You think they’re happy?” You tease your fiancé keeping your arm around her.

“I think so.” She laughs holding her hand up for you. “Do I gotta put it on myself?”

Biting your lip you take the ring out and shove the box back in your pocket before sliding the band onto her finger.

“Beautiful. It matches your eyes.” You beam bringing the back of her hand to your lips. Bringing both of her hands to your cheeks she pulls you in close.

“I love you, Tesoro.” She whispers pulling you into the most loving kiss you’ve ever experienced.

“Did she say yes?!” Anthony yells making you laugh against Melissa’s lips before she pulls away with the biggest smile you’ve ever seen.

“Yeah I did, kid!

—————

Melissa’s ring

[andie-platonically]

Fantasy High characters as songs by The Mountain Goats

1. Kristen Applebees - Before I Got There

“And the tapestry above / Torn down, trampled then re-hung / Now illegible forever / An oracle with no tongue/ All of this, all of this / All of this before I got there”

I think this song so perfectly mirrors Kristen’s relationship with both Cassandra and Ankarna. Like, both of them had been corrupted and used to further other people’s evil plans with no regard to their original followers’ intent. Until Kristen arrived. Until she lovingly restored them to their original forms with such respect to why they were created, and her compassion is one of my favorite things about her character.

2. Riz Gukgak - Ground Level

“You can light a cigarette / against the cooktop if you need to / feel the heat against your forehead / let it bleed through / you’re never gonna get by / on three hours of sleep a night / unless you absolutely have to / and then you get by alright.”

I almost picked Bones Don’t Rust, which you should also add to your Riz character playlist but I went with this one instead. We see Riz take up smoking in Junior Year, we see him not sleeping and overworking himself throughout the series, and I think a lot of that does come from a place of going beyond his breaking point, steadfastly refusing to break, and thinking that means he’s okay.

3. Fabian Seacaster - Wage Wars Get Rich Die Handsome / Great Pirates

I’m cheating and giving Fabian two songs because he changes so much throughout the series. Here’s the first one:

“Stay independent, make adjustments as needed / it’s losers all the way down, you stay undefeated / wage wars, get rich, die handsome.”

I think this song is peak Fabian from Freshman Year. It references motorcycle riding, the narrator genuinely thinks he’s such hot shit, and I mean like, come on. Wage wars, get rich, die handsome. It’s literally perfect. But Fabian grows. He changes. So here’s the second song I picked for him:

“On the morning when I stop looking back / I’ll be up to see the sunrise in deep, bruise black / And bright, blood red / And pale desert rose / And several other colors like those / great pirates, testing the waves.”

Okay, so obviously it was fun to use a Mountain Goats song with pirates in it, but also, I interpret this song as being about moving on from your past and looking towards an uncertain future. So much of Fabian’s arc has been him figuring out who he is beyond his dad’s legacy, and so I think this song works really well with that. (I probably could have picked any Jenny from Thebes song and it would have a lot of those themes, but come on, pirates!)

4. Fig Faeth - Cry for Judas

“Speed up to the precipice / and then slam on the breaks / some people crash two or three times / And then learn from their mistakes / But we are the ones who don’t slow down at all / and there’s nobody there to catch us when we fall.”

I think Fig’s self destructive tendencies are more evident early on in the series (see: all her affairs with middle-aged men) but honestly, the way she puts herself on the front lines again and again for her friends is just as destructive imo. Also, this song gives such difficult child-energy, and I think sometimes this is how Sandralynn sees her. This kid who didn’t deal with her curse because it didn’t seem important when her friends had other things going on. This kid who skips her classes, is straight-edge except for drugs. This kid who was knocked unconscious in her first combat and wanted everyone to think she spent the whole time fighting.

5. Adaine Abernant - Up the Wolves

“I’m gonna get myself in fighting trim / scope out every angle of unfair advantage / I’m gonna bribe the officials, I’m gonna kill all the judges / It’s gonna take you people years to recover from all of the damage.”

Trigger warning to those who need it: Sunset Tree is about abuse, which is obviously quite prevalent in Adaine’s arc Freshman/Sophomore Year. It was between this and Lion’s Teeth. What I like about this song for Adaine is that it is tragic, of course it’s tragic, but it also shows her rage, not just for herself but for Aelwyn too. This is a girl who took what her parents did to her and said that’s not fair and punched her dad so hard in the face that he died. I also think that given how Adaine’s relationship with her mother is so much more complicated, the other parts of this song work well with that.

6. Gorgug Thistlespring - The Slow Parts on Death Metal Albums

“Drive home alone and listen to the slow parts / In a new universe / trying to find the mask that still fits me / shaking the curse.”

I’m gonna be so real, I really struggled with this one because I just don’t relate to Gorgug as much, but I’m so infatuated with the idea that he listens to the slow parts of death metal albums, and I do think that this song, to me, fits the fact that Gorgug doesn’t really fit the roles anyone expects from him. He’s not just a mindless raging half-orc, he’s also kind and shy and gentle and loving. But he does have a lot of rage and he reacts violently at times and his parents love him but they don’t always know what to do with that.

Bonus song! Jawbone - Midland

“Come and stay with me as long as you like / I live outside of town where the straight highway curves / three years I lived next door to the airport / so nothing you can say to me can get on my nerves.”

Jawbone collects fucked up teens like pokemon cards, so I every time I hear this song I think of him. Also, the way the narrator of this song gives the subject time and space to go through things and assures them that yeah, I’ll still be here, is so very Jawbone-coded imo. Also, later in the song, he says “stay till you can grieve like normal people do / I’ve got room, room in my house for you.” Like, every line of this song is just so Jawbone I need y’all to understand.

Bonus song #2! The Bad Kids - When a Powerful Animal Comes

“Speak in gestures only we can understand / we’ve made mistakes / everyone spots their own mess / when the dawn breaks / we get so exhausted / lost kids, just wasted / sleep in short shifts then rise to our feet / life is short and life is hard and life is sweet.”

This song is the most Bad Kids shit I’ve ever heard in my life. If it’s not in your Bad Kids playlist, you gotta add it now and Weary Adventures by Skull Puppies haha anyway It’s just literally so perfect. It’s just these kids with the weight of the world on their shoulders, so fucking tired of saving the world. It’s literally the overall arc of Junior Year!

[lovekz]

eyes don't lie

syn -> part 2 of ‘what does he have that I don’t?’

warnings : mention of tits, angst ( a little bit ) to comfort, reader wants to be a cosmetologist, rindou studies astrobiology, breakups,

-

the next time rindou sees you, is two years later at one of his parties he held at his shared house with ran.

after your talk, he’d gotten over you within at least 3 months.

now all he had to do was keep living and leaving you where you were at with your boyfriend.

at his parties, he was always the dj, and ran was always mingling (or asleep with someone in his lap, whichever works).

so rindou was upstairs at the balcony where the dj set was, one headphone over his ear.

it’s about 1 am right now, and he’s been up here for a few hours.

he’d leave the stand, but he isn’t sure where hanma ran off to with that girl that brought him a drink.

not like he cared, he didn’t feel like mingling tonight.

he just knows the celebration is for izana learning how to drive (he crashed shinichiro’s one too many times).

so he’ll let izana have all the talk the about him.

rindou feels eyes on him, but he shrugs it off. someone probably has a request or something.

he just hopes no drunk guy tries to propose at the party again.

“does the dj need a drink?” he hears a teasing voice beside him, making him look over.

you were smiling at him, holding a red cup with your phone in hand.

rindou pulls the headphones down to sit around his neck, leaning back into his seat at the sight of you.

of course you were here, you were the girlfriend of izana’s brother.

why wouldn’t you two come along?

“nah, I’m okay.” rindou rejects politely, waving you off and looking back at the laptop.

he expects you to leave with embarrassment, but you don’t and it's so like to you stay.

you take a seat next to the set and take a sip from the red cup.

rindou doesn’t mind, he can use the company after hanma ditched him for some blond with 'great tits' (hanma's words, not his).

“how’ve you been?” you ask him, tilting your head up to look at him.

rindou shrugs, glancing down at you and then back at the DJ board.

“been alright. still studying to be a cosmetologist?" rindou asks, clicking around to change the song.

you nod, almost forgetting that rindou knew almost everything anyone could possibly know about you.

"you still studying astrobiology?" you question right back, tilting your head.

rindou nods, tapping his phone screen to check the time. it's only been five minutes since you came up here.

it was nights like these where you two would sit together and he would play music.

and although you two have talked about damn near everything, you would find something to talk with him about.

through the crowd, rindou catches mikey staring up at him from the far end of the couch.

he'd been watching him for a while now, and rindou thinks he understands why.

"you should probably go. he's looking for you." rindou states, before completely tuning you out.

however, he doesn't miss the hurt look that you present as you make your way downstairs.

suddenly, the music feels like it would be better if it were to be louder.

-

the night after the party was over, rindou was in his room typing away at his computer.

the assignment he was working on wasn't due for another six days, but he wanted to get a little headstart.

he wasn't sure if ran would make him take that road trip to izana's new place with him in a couple days.

rindou was typing so hard on his computer, that he almost missed his phone buzzing repeatedly.

if it weren't for it falling into his lap from its inconsistent buzzing, he would've ignored it.

but your name was read across his screen about a dozen or so times.

missed calls, text messages, voicemails, and facetime calls.

rindou immediately scrunches up his nose in confusion, unsure of why you were desperately trying to get his attention.

he calls back immediately, squinting into the camera.

you answer, and you're outside. walking it seems to be. it makes rindou sit up because of the time on his phone.

what the hell were you doing walking by yourself at 2:20 in the morning?

"hello?" rindou greets gruffly, voice coming out a bit deeper after not speaking for a while.

not to mention those five minute naps he's been offering himself.

a sniffle gains his attention, making him stand up from his desk and almost knock everything off of it looking for his keys.

"are you okay?" rindou asks, putting on his shoes and grabbing his hoodie as he looks at your background.

you won't show your face, but by the sound of your sniffles, you had been crying for a while.

"did i wake you?" you ask, voice cracking multiple times just to get those four words out.

rindou kisses his teeth almost immediately once you dodge his question, growing irritated.

but he knows you're already upset, so he doesn't push you any further than you would want.

"no, i was working on something. where are you?" rindou asks, walking downstairs.

and just by hearing him ask that, you knew he was coming to get you off the streets so late.

"mariana ave and sapin street." you state into the microphone, and rindou is immediately in his garage.

he flicks the button to open the door, and he hopes it doesn't wake his older brother up.

rindou is painfully aware that ran's room is directly above the garage, so he feels when the door is opening and closing on the floor.

though he's a bit confident ran can sleep through a hurricane and earthquake combined.

rindou gets in his car and immediately speeds down his neighborhood to get to you before anyone else does.

-

when the two of you make it back to his house, rindou understands that you might want a shower.

so he offers up his bathroom and a few of his clothes while he heats up his chinese food from earlier, and the food ran had gave him.

he didn't get to ask what happened yet, only because he didn't want to make you hysterical.

the waiting game is a game that rindou has played for years, so he doesn't see a problem now.

once the microwave cuts off, he's stuffing another bowl into it and pressing the number two.

footsteps gain his attention, making him turn around to look at you.

you had on a pair of his psd boxers (just so they'd fit like shorts) and his shirt, your thigh wrapped in gauze.

when the microwave cuts off again, rindou grabs the food and begins plating it for you.

it's probably best if you tell him on your own.

the two of you walk upstairs to his room once he grabs water for the both of you, and sit on his bed.

his essay is still open on his laptop, some of the words jumbled together and not making sense.

but you understand that it was just a draft.

the two of you eat in silence as rindou looks through his disney plus to figure out what he wanted to watch.

he knows a kid movie would be enough to bring your spirits up even a little bit, and that's because he knows you.

and rindou is right.

halfway through moana, you begin to speak.

"he broke up with me." you state mindlessly, pushing noodles into your mouth.

rindou looks at you from the corner of his eyes, before taking a sip of his water.

he desperately wants to say 'oh really?' or maybe even laugh at the fact that you were in his bed now, but he doesn't.

self restraint, rindou reminds himself, twisting the cap on his bottle.

lucky for him, you continue without his feedback.

"didn't know where else to go, so i called you. said he doesn't think i love him." you explained to him.

so you were at his house before you were wandering the streets.

that was probably a good two miles away, which makes rindou's heart ache just a bit.

"is it because of yesterday?" rindou finally asks, leaning back against his headboard as he watches the movie.

your silence gives him all answers he could possibly need from you.

rindou suspects that he's felt like this for a bit of a while, but doesn't let you know that.

last night probably took the cake when you sat next to him and not your boyfriend.

and then rindou thinks about the words izana said to cheer him up after you two had that talk.

'10 years from now, she's gonna have five kids and be miserable.'

minus the dramatic amount of time after that day and the five kids, you were miserable.

and it hadn't been that long since you two were togehter.

self restraint, rindou reminds himself again.

"did you love him though?" rindou asks, finishing off his water bottle with a satisfied sigh.

you nod almost immediately, drinking from your own water bottle.

"i did, but he was the one that grew distant." you told rindou, shrugging to yourself.

rindou knew you desperately wanted to say that line you always say when things happen.

'we made it work.'

but he knows the truth behind those false appeasing words.

you were just holding onto whatever strings you had left of the poor relationship.

"well good riddance." rindou replies, finally letting you know that he wasn't really that fond of mikey.

even though everyone and their great grandmothers probably knew that already.

but it makes you laugh for the first time tonight.

you cover your mouth as your pupils disappear behind the lids, your nose scrunching up in the prettiest of ways.

it reminds rindou why he had a crush on you two years ago.

everything about you was pretty and you radiated such positive energy all the time.

"what happened here?" rindou asks, softly touching the gauze that was wrapped around your thigh with his index finger.

you look down at his hand and hum, pointing your fork to the gauze as you chew your food.

"it's a burn. was eating em's soup when he broke up with me, and i dropped the bowl." you explain to him, rubbing the gauze.

and rindou feels a bit at ease, knowing it wasn't because of a tattoo mistake or because he hurt you.

it was a simple mistake, be it out of shock, anger, or fear.

as long as mikey didn't put his hands on you, everything is fine.

"well. you can stay here until you can get back on your feet. i don't mind, and i'm sure ran doesn't either." rindou informs.

and your eyes shine with adoration when those words leave rindou's mouth.

after everything that went down, rindou still had the upmost respect for you and would always help you.

rindou can see the gratefulness in them, and hope to see happiness in them one day again.

even if it means you still never have feelings for him.

[memekais]

epic the musical sentence starters. the ocean saga. feel free to change pronouns as needed!

storm

these waves and tides have grown in strength and size.

is it nature or divine or a blessing in disguise?

our home's in sight.

this storm's our final fight.

brace for a storm!

with home so close, we must keep pushing forward.

head towards the island but avoid the crashing waves.

tread where the tide is flat and then you will be saved.

have them follow my ship, i'll ensure that we prevail!

we're taking too much damage to survive.

at this rate, we won't make it out alive.

grab the harpoons, as many as you can find!

we're gonna shoot for the sky!

everyone grab a harpoon and aim it high!

we're shooting for the island in the sky!

luck runs out

please don't tell me you're about to do what i think you'll do.

you've heard the legends of the island in the sky, this proves they're true.

i'm gonna climb to the top and ask 'em for a hand.

you could be caught off guard and lose your life or piss off this god and infuse us with strife.

don't forget how dangerous the gods are.

have faith, friend, we've come this far.

how much longer till your luck runs out?

how much longer till the show goes south?

how much longer till we all fall down?

you rely on wit, and people die on it...

i still believe in goodness, i still believe that we could be kind.

lead from the heart and see what starts.

what will we do when it tears us apart?

i just don't wanna see another life end.

you're like the brother i could never do without.

suddenly you doubt that i could figure this out?

how much longer till your great days cease?

how much longer till your strength takes leave?

thank you for the concern but brother I can assure you our journey is almost done.

i understand that we're tired, i understand that we're fazed but don't forget how much we've already faced.

if you'd like to speak more, let me pull you aside then i need to talk to you in private.

i can't have you planting seeds of doubt, i can't have you disagreeing each route...

i need you to always be devout and comply with this or we'll all die in this, okay?

keep your friends close

our path to home is blocked by an impenetrable storm.

i ask for your assistance so we at last can go the distance.

i am the wind, twisting and turning, i give the fire enough to stay burning!

if you win, you will get what you're yearning.

take a look right here at this bag, it has the winds of the storm all trapped.

sounds too easy, what's the catch?

keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

never really know who you can trust.

sometimes killing is a must.

the end always justifies the means; friends turn into foes in rivalries.

we cannot let the treasure rumour fly.

now they wanna get the bag open so they can have closure.

sometimes sneaking is a must

for nine days, i've stayed wide awake.

i can't wait to make some new memories.

time for me to be the father i never was.

why are my eyes and my heart and my soul so heavy?

i keep on tried to embraced you both. why won't you let me?

we can save whatever wind we have to use another day, come on!

[NAME].... do you know who i am?

ruthlessness

in all my years of living, it isn't very often that i get pissed off.

i try to chill with the waves but damn, you crossed the line.

i've been so gracious and yet, you hurt the son of mine.

i'm left without a choice and without a doubt!

guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now!

i've gotta make you bleed, i need to see you drown but before you go, I need to make you learn...

ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves!

you are the worst kind of good 'cause you're not even great!

a greek who reeks of false righteousness, that's what I hate!

you fight to save lives but won't kill and don't get the job done...

you are far too nice - mercy has a price!

it's the final crack we're about to break the ice now!

unlike you i've got no mercy left to give.

now it is finally time to say goodbye. today, you die unless, of course, you apologize...

we meant no harm, we only hurt him to disarm him!

we took no pleasure in his pain, we only wanted to escape!

the line between naïveté and hopefulness is almost invisible.

so, close your heart the world is dark, and ruthlessness is mercy.

i am your darkest moment... the monster that always draws near.

any last words?

[hangster-hangout]

The Love Chicken

“My dad said he knew my mom was the one over a bottle of wine and the best roast chicken he ever had.”

“And now you’re making it for Hangman. So he can figure out that you’re the one.”

“Something like that.”

Bradley cooks for Jake. It goes even better than expected. 

(post canon, getting back together, straight up sweet fluff)

The ridiculously catchy intro to an old Fall Out Boy song cuts through the classic rock station he has on. Phoenix.

Bradley puts her on speaker as he sautés the green beans and glances at the timer on the stove. 

“Hard deck in an hour?”

“Can’t. Plans.”

“With Hangman? Bring him along.”

“Maybe later.” The timer set for the potatoes goes off and it takes Natasha about two seconds to put it together.

“Are you…cooking for him?” And Bradley is a lot of things but he’s not a great liar so while he tries to think of a way to change the subject, Natasha lets out a low whistle. “It’s going to be different this time, right?”

Because she was there for the first time, the messy fights and makeups that never truly fixed things. Bradley and Jake had something that burned so bright but crashed before it truly had a chance to take off, both of them falling too fast and terrified the other wasn’t.

Bradley was going to make sure it was different this time. 

“Yeah. It already is. These last two weeks…” After the mission he and Jake had been damn near inseparable. At first, Bradley thought Jake just needed to see him, needed proof he really did survive. But the more hours they spent together, laughed together, the more Bradley realized this is what it was supposed to be like. 

Bradley was aware he never truly got over Jake, but he forgot just how desperately he loved him. And unlike all those years ago, he was finally courageous enough to tell him. 

“My dad said he knew my mom was the one over a bottle of wine and the best roast chicken he ever had.”

“And now you’re making it for Hangman. So he can figure out that you’re the one.”

“Something like that.” It’s a testament to how nervous he must sound that she doesn’t make fun of him. 

“What time is he coming over?” Bradley glances at the clock. 

“Five minutes. But it’s Jake so-“ he hears a rustling of keys in the door. “Oh god, he’s here.”

“You got this Bradshaw. Enjoy the Love Chicken.” And Bradley barely has enough time to hang up and toss his phone on the counter before Jake walks in. 

“You said to bring a bottle of wine but I weirdly don’t know if you’re a red or white guy so,” he holds up his hands, a bottle in each. “I brought both.” Jake looks between the roast chicken resting on the stovetop and the kitchen table set with actual cloth napkins. “You trying to wine and dine me so you can tell me you need help burying a body?”

“Can’t a guy do something nice?” Rooster rolls his eyes and gets the roasted potatoes out of the oven. Jake lets out a low whistle. 

“Oh this is very nice. I love roasted potatoes.”

“I know.” Bradley says and he turns to the vegetables so Jake doesn’t see the red flush coloring his cheeks. 

They open the red wine and have an easy conversation over dinner, only arguing about the superior movie in the Mighty Ducks franchise.

“But the Bash Brothers! And the knuckle puck!” Jake waves his fork around and Bradley laughs but doesn’t give in. He’ll never bet against the original, that movie helped raise him.

He takes a deep breath, knowing that dinner is near over and its time to actually talk to Jake. Bradley puts his hands on his thighs, forcing them to be still and is about to start talking when Jake swallows another bite of chicken and makes a satisfied sound.

“Jesus Bradshaw, you cook like this again for me and I’ll marry you.” Jake leans back in his seat and the sunlight hits his golden hair just so perfectly and before he knows it Bradley is blurting out:

“Okay.”

It’s silent. Jake’s eyes pop open and Bradley can feel his cheeks start to heat up, the flush working its way up his neck. There’s no way he can play this off as a joke, no way to take it back. It was too serious, too honest and too revealing of everything he ever wanted.

“Shit,” Bradley mutters under his breath. “Shit Jake, I’m sorry, I made this dinner to talk to you about maybe giving us a shot, like a real one.” The words don’t stop coming out and Bradley starts talking even faster. “Because you’re really important to me and I want a relationship with you because I think, no, I know you’re the one and-“

He’s interrupted by the sound of a chair scraping across the floor. A second later he has a lapful of Jake Seresin and he has barely enough time to register the shock before he is being kissed. 

And oh boy is Bradley being kissed. 

It’s different from the ones they shared before, kissing Jake was always incredible but it had an undercurrent of competition and neither every truly let themselves get lost in it. This was nothing like that. The walls were down for both of them and they were both, finally, all in. 

Bradley’s not sure how long they stay like that until Jake moves his head slightly back and rests his forehead against Bradley’s. 

“Holy shit. I really might marry you.” Jake’s voice is full of wonder. Bradley rolls his eyes but brings his hands up to cup Jake’s face.

“Typical, you fly right from being friends to being engaged.” On the last word, a shiver runs through Jake.

“I’m dead serious, baby.” Jake says and Bradley’s heart is about to literally leap out of his chest. He stares at Jake for a second more and smiles.

“I already said yes, didn’t I?”

—

Later, as they are tangled up in bed and Bradley’s head is resting on Jake’s bare chest, Jake leans over to check the time on his phone. He chuckles and Bradley look up at him, one eyebrow raised.

“A new message in the group chat.” Jake holds his phone out for Bradley to see.

Phoenix: So are you two boyfriends?

“That’s presumptuous to send it to everyone.” Bradley snorts and Jake laughs. 

“Sweetheart, I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who didn’t realize i was a sure thing.” And even after everything that happened over the last few hours, hearing it still makes Bradley smile. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jake runs a hair through Bradley’s curls. “I’ve been crazy about you since like…five minutes after we met. Hasn’t really stopped.” Bradley adjusts himself so he’s next to Jake.

“Never stopped for me either. Doubt it ever will.” And Jake smiles and Bradley thinks ‘yeah, this is it.’

“That’s what I’m counting on.”

Hangman: Fiancées actually. See y’all Monday.

And they turn off their phones and fall back together.

[soulofapatrick]

Country Step - Joel Miller x Reader

Summary: Ellie and Tommy help Y/N reignite that southern cowboy in Joel during a ‘Jackson Cowboy Night’ ( I literally had a thought about Joel and Tommy line dancing)

Words: 1.5k

Warnings: make out (?) can cowboys be a warning

Joel’s POV

It’s Friday which means the barn is lit up and full of people dancing and letting loose to music that is thumping through the building. I’m not a fan of these things but Tommy and Maria insisted I came, a suspicious amount but then again it was a good excuse to catch up with them having missed so many years with my baby brother. It’s why I’m currently sat in the booth, swirling a beer as most of the teenagers and young adults are on the dance floor, having the time of their life but I don’t see Ellie anywhere. I can’t find Y/N either but that’s not as surprising because she’s so shy and-

I’m choking on my beer when Ellie enters the barn, dragging a barely recognisable Y/N. Y/N’s wearing extremely tight jeans that show off her curves while she’s only got a flannel on her top half, the flannel tied right under her chest. Her hair is falling around her shoulders in manufactured waves, her hair usually being deadly straight and she looks gorgeous. She looks like she belongs in a country movie and it dawns on me why Tommy was so persistent for me to come tonight: it’s cowboy night as he calls it. 

The pair join us and I try to keep my eyes to myself but oh fucking hell this is going to be difficult. She’s like a wet dream and I want to leap over the table and eat her up. Ever since I met Y/N while trying to get Ellie to the fireflies I’ve had feelings for her but it’s only recently I’ve been realising they’re not bad feelings. They’re dangerous, feelings like love are a weakness and no one can have weaknesses in this day and age. 

The familiar tune that is Footloose has Y/N’s head flying up, glancing at Tommy before her  eyes search for someone in the bustling barn. They light up and she’s grinning bigger than I’ve ever seen her when she catches Chai’s eyes and he’s sending her an equally big grin. 

“Gimme your hat cowboy.” She’s snatching the cowboy hat Tommy insisted on wearing, placing on her head as she meets Chai on the dance floor. Ellie; Dina and Jesse seem to understand what’s happening and makes people back up, giving the pair space. Oh fuck, I think my jaw hits the floor when the pair begin to dance. That quiet and reserved young woman I’ve travelled with for over a year now is swinging and rolling her hips in moves that is very much line dancing. Soon enough others are copying the pair and joining in, everyone laughing and just having a great time. 

I can’t stop the smile at the sight of Ellie next to Y/N, copying her every move with her head back and laugh escaping her lips. Y/N grabs Ellie’s hand, spinning the girl that has become a daughter figure to us both, causing the latter to shriek with even more laughter as Y/N lets her go and Ellie crashes into Dina. 

Y/N’s eyes find mine and she’s beckoning me over with the pull of her finger. I’m shrugging my jacket off and joining her, hands migrating straight for her hips as she gets every step correct. If I didn’t already secretly love her I think this is where I would have fallen because she is not from any state that includes line dancing of any sorts yet here she is. It’s like muscle memory for me and soon enough I’m back in the swing of it, eyes never once leaving her as she grins up at me. There’s that familiar shyness behind the excitement in those forest green eyes as she pulls my hands off her hips and I spin her into my chest. We seem to shift from line dancing in the side step, her back against my chest and my hand on her hip as the song changes to one that I think I remember being called ‘Fake ID’. 

Most people leave the dance floor after Footloose ends not knowing the moves without Y/N or Chai to follow. I don’t care because Y/N’s spinning around me, footwork perfect. I have to pull her back into my arms, hands on her waist again, pulling her close, “Do you know what you’re doing to me darling?” 

“Absolutely no idea.” She sends me a cheeky grin so I grip her tightly, one hand moving from her waist to the back of her neck as I suddenly dip her as the song ends. She lets out a shriek, hands grabbing my shoulders as if I’d drop her. It’s as if the world slows when I realise just how close our faces are, noses almost brushing. Her chest is glistening with a light sheen of sweat as it rises and falls rapidly. I’m pulling her back up, wanting to kiss her so badly but I don’t want it to be a big thing in front of everyone so I keep her hand tightly in mine as I lead the way back to our booth. 

She seems dejected, not understanding why I didn’t kiss her when it was obvious we both wanted it. I stay quiet, sliding into the booth and pulling her onto my lap as there’s no more space with Tommy; Maria; Jesse; Chai; Dina and Ellie already squashed in. Y/N’s breath catches in her throat but she settles, leaning forwards to grab her beer from earlier and I almost let out a moan as her perfectly round ass is pressing into my crotch as if she knows exactly what she’s doing. 

“Keep the hat.” Tommy sends Y/N a cheeky smile before going back to talking to Maria while the kids gush to Y/N and Chai how good they are at dancing. I just listen, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing a kiss to her shoulder causing her to relax back against my chest. We stay like that for the rest of the night as the party carries on, the others going up to dance every so often if a song they like comes on. 

“Where’d you learn to dance like that?” I ask as I walk her home, the winter air freezing and the lights not doing much to illuminate the streets. 

“I may have asked Tommy for a few lessons,” She mumbles and my heart swells, “I wanted to impress you. I love seeing you happy and smiling.” 

“I fucking love you.” It slips out and she’s stopping walking, forest eyes wide and full of so many emotions. She doesn’t move when I approach her, cupping her face in my hands and pull her chin up so she catches my lips in a kiss. It seems to snap her out of her shock because her hands are in my hair and on my shoulders, melting into the kiss and pressing herself as close as she possibly can. It’s a sweet and hot kiss, not exactly how I had imagined our first kiss but that doesn’t matter as I can just recreate that idea another day. Right now her body is reacting to ever little move of my hands and my lips and it’s heaven beneath me. 

“I love you too.” She gasps out as we pull away for air and all control I have snaps. I’m picking her up by her thighs and slamming her against the nearest wall, groaning as she complies by wrapping her legs around my waist and yanking me into a kiss dirtier than I ever thought she had in her. My scalp twinges with pain but it just adds to the moment, thinking I might be hallucinating because she’s here, kissing me back with just as much heat and want.

I don’t want to do more than just make out at the moment as I have been waiting months to even get this far and I’m not ruining it by rushing her and making her think I want a quick fuck. It means I’m having to pull my lips away from hers, a chuckle rumbling in my chest when she tries to follow my lips with hers. She’s letting her head fall back against the wall, looking utterly ruined with her hair a mess, the hat lost somewhere between here and there and her lips shining and kiss swollen and we haven’t even done anything yet. This woman is going to kill me. 

That’s when two figures walk past and I shield Y/N’s body from whoever it is but it’s just Tommy and Maria heading home. Tommy meets my gaze, raising at eyebrow as he catches a glimpse of Y/N.

“Oi! Get a room!”

“Fuck you too Tommy!” 

[strxnged]

CYNO: # those who trespass.

word count. 2k. genre. adventure, platonic.

overview. with false rumours spreading that your research at the akademiya is concerned with forbidden knowledge, you travel across the desert to prove the subject's validity and your own integrity. but the lies seemed to have reached the ears of a certain law-upholding mahamatra.

warnings. fear, slight claustrophobia, one (1) bad joke from cyno. childhood best friends to percieved strangers trope ?

You had never expected to find yourself in the dry heat of the Hypostyle Desert, collecting information on the mystery of ancient times before. You were out of the direct sunlight, deep underground within the ruins of a temple, and you were close; you could feel the hair on your neck rise in anticipation. This room of the temple was the one you had been meant to find, and the thick pillar with the goat statue atop was the site which would hold the answers. As always, the answers would lead to more questions, but even a report of what you knew you would discover hidden in that pillar—the ancient power, and more importantly, the ancient tale—would carry you away from the endless respite from progress. It had only been luck that had led you here—luck, and some fear of lies that had followed you. Yes, this would be it, that last piece that would reclaim for you the reputation you sought.

But said lies you now heard the footsteps of, echoing dramatically down the long stone hall behind you.

“There’s nowhere for you to run.” The General Mahamatra—for you knew it was him—rather harshly stated your own thoughts aloud.

You knew it to be true, and yet you were not ready to give up. “There’s no grounds on which you can arrest me,” you declared, facing him more boldly than you felt. You mustered up the strength to look in his scarlet eyes. Your fear increased rapidly. Judging from his stance, staff held out to prevent any of your attempts of escape… he seemed to be beyond showing mercy.

“What gives you that impression?” At the General Mahamatra’s threatening gaze, you could feel your confidence begin to shatter. Even though you knew you hadn’t broken the law, you were beginning to feel the guilt of someone who had. The case had nothing to do with you. You didn’t even know where the rumours had started; only that you had been tracked here by the upholder of justice. He wasn’t Cyno to you anymore, nor he had he been for years. Clearly, things had change.

“If you lie to me, do not expect me to protect you from the law just because of our past friendship. Justice shall reveal your sins even as your lips tell falsehood.”

“For the last time, I had no part in it!” you said, feeling your voice hesitate. It seemed to be too late for your emotions to help declare sincerity.

“Then tell me,” he said, “why you fled to the furthest reaches of the Great Red Sands the day word spread of the project? A fair trial would have allowed you innocence. You are using forbidden knowledge as a crutch in your studies, and I will not regret.”

You could not speak again, because you knew this was going nowhere. The cold pillar behind you was all you could cling onto to steady your trembling.

The General Mahamatra eyed the pillar behind you, as if he noticed something worthy of suspicion.

Was it you shaking, or the pillar?

Before you had a chance to process what was happening, the General Mahamatra suddenly lunged towards you. It was hard to tell quite what had occurred in the moment that took you from beside the pillar to several feet down the stone hall, but you could faintly identify the feeling of hands leaving your torso and a blinding flash of Electro, as well as brief but overpowering motion.

Then, a sound like waves of fire exploded from the room, and it appeared that the entire chamber might come crashing down atop of you. As you readjusted your eyes, you could see that the pillar had been dispelled, and a great orange light with a peculiarly—familiarly—shaped artifact hung in the center of it.

Yes, you had been close to discovering the secret. But you might spend your life in prison before ever getting to finish your research, now. 

It was growing hotter in the hall; you could only wonder if your skin might have melted off had you stayed next to the pillar. Had… had you not been saved by…?

The General Mahamatra stood at the wall opposite you, also peering into the room in faint wonder. He seemed to have forgotten your perceived sins for the moment, the awe of the relic consuming his mind as much as yours.

You knew what this was, however. This was the hilt of a weapon once wielded by a descendant of King Deshret, as far as your research had led you to believe.

Recalling a scroll you had read on a related weapon, you wondered what might be making this piece so unstable. Was it the presence of a similar weapon? Or… some unresolved curse?

“The cycle of seven must be removed….”

A voice groaned from within the fiery glow.

Perhaps it was all of the above. A glance at the General Mahamatra seemed to confirm this; he was holding his weapon with wide eyes, as it seemed to be dragged by some invisible force towards the flame. If he didn’t let go of it now, it might drag him into the center of the heat.

Your thoughts whirled as you shouted, “Cyno! We have to get out of h—”

The General Mahamatra would not be getting out of here quite yet. He raised his staff, drawing Electro into a swirl of mulberry purple around him, and his attire seemed to change as the designs on his hood glowed. His arm changed colour too, and in place of his hand a large and terrible claw took form. He stepped once towards the room, and then took two more steps, crackling with Electro might. He drew back the claw and then released the gathered element at the artifact in increasingly powerful waves.

You could not look away, but you could not fully gaze upon the destruction. The artifact, the hilt—it seemed to wither away, and with it, the amber light. It did not cool, as the General Mahamatra did not release his form just yet. He had noticed the ceiling of the room caving in before you might have even thought to look. His claw now supported it, and he looked you dead in the eye.

“Run now, or join the ancients in their grave,” he snarled.

You ran.

—

“You called me Cyno.”

You craned your neck to look over your shoulder from the boulder you sat on outside the ruins. “My apologies,” you said, with less gusto than the comment deserved. The General Mahamatra walked around the boulder, eyed it, and sat right next to you, curtly dusting debris off of himself. You were somewhat relieved to see that he made it out in one piece.

“It does not matter what you call me,” he reprised, “for it does not impact my authority nor the law’s.”

“So what’s your point?”

“Well,” he said, and cleared his throat. He seemed to endeavor eye contact with you, but tore his gaze away after only a moment. This was strange. This was different than five minutes ago underground.

“Well?” you repeated.

“Yes. It made me think to our day. When we were younger. When I was Cyno, Defender of the Law, to you.”

You cleared your throat. “Cyno, Defender of the Law, and Scarlet Sand Authority of Justice.” You felt a bit shy saying something outright like that with the potential of embarrassing him. Especially after seeing how far his capabilities with his vision had come.

“Yes. I was reminded of that.”

Thankfully, he seemed unphased. You ventured to ask, “Aren’t you about to arrest me?”

He cleared his throat. You watched a short smirk form on his face and disappear just as quickly. “No, I need to rest myself first.”

“Hmm. You mean justice can wait for your minor fatigue?”

“No, I…” He looked you earnestly in the eye. “It was a joke.” As you did not immediately respond, he continued. “See, because you said you expected me to ‘arrest’ you, and because I have just exerted myself rather extremely in the ruins, I am in need of ‘a rest.’ So, I responded—”

“I get it, Cyno.”

“You do? You’re not laughing. Was it my delivery?”

You frowned. After all the fear that had led you here, along with the slightly crushing disappointment that your research could not continue on this subject now that the relic had been destroyed by a certain someone, you weren’t really sure what to feel right now. Especially with the General Mahamatra—Cyno, your old friend who you had not seen in years—cracking the same old dry jokes after threatening you with a glaring gaze and justice.

“So, can I call you Cyno again?” you asked.

“You may,” he replied.

“Okay, then, Cyno. What happened to my criminalization?”

“It was a matter of ruling you out. You would not admit to it, nor would you provide any evidence other than that of a dangerous pursuit. Now that the danger has been dispelled—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” you interrupted. “You tracked me down to the desert to keep me from searching for the relic?”

He blinked. “Not quite. I had planned to have you go through trial, and ban you from the topic altogether.”

“That wouldn’t have been very nice.”

“Oh, it would have been better for everyone involved. Do you realize what might have happened if I hadn’t been there to stop you just now?”

“I—” you faltered. Because, no, you did not realize. You hardly knew what set off the relic, much less what Cyno had done to destroy it. “Why didn’t you stop me before I got that close? Or at least be honest with me about it instead of making me panic like that?”

“You are not the kind of person who turns around at warnings of danger. That much is clear from your continued pursuit of the subject, as well as my experience as your acquaintance.”

“Acquaintance? Cyno, we were best buds a few years back!”

“Alright. As your former best bud, I know you to be reckless with your life in the pursuit of knowledge and prestige. In the name of justice, I took it upon myself to keep an eye on your endeavors.”

“In the name of justice?”

“Yes.”

“More like, in the name of a creepy former best bud who’s been watching me for years since we took different paths.”

“I disagree. That is an unfair statement. No, it was in the name of saving your life, and you cannot refute that.”

“I can try.”

“Indeed, you can try because you’re not dead in the ground.”

You clicked your tongue. He had you there.

“Well,” you said. You could not think of what to say next.

“Well?” he repeated. He had a serious look on his face, as always, but the response was so impish that you wanted to slap him.

“At least I’m not getting locked up,” you finally said. 

You had never expected to find yourself in the dry heat of the Hypostyle Desert, once again chatting with an old and dearly beloved friend, who you had thought, some ten minutes ago, was going to kill you.

author's note: yippee cyno. reblog if you agree 🔥🔥🔥

➳ GENSHIN MASTERLIST

[catierambles]

Back in the Saddle Part 2

Pairing: Syverson x Heather Markum (OFC)

WC 4896

Warnings: Some non-explicit allusions to sexy times.

@brattymum96 , @ouroboros113 , @peaches1958 , @summersong69 , @eldarwen333 , @omgkatinka , @identity2212 , @lucypaulette , @km-ffluv , @kebabgirl67 , @squeezyvalkyrie , @rebelangel1102 , @dopegardensaladhuman , @ilsacharlotte

It was by the third yawn hidden behind her hand that she was really starting to feel it, the dreaded caffeine crash.

"You can head out if you're tired." Sy said but she shook her head.

"I'm fine." And just to make her a liar, another yawn split her face making him smile. 

"Go on, go get some sleep. I won't take it personal, you said that's what you do on the weekends anyway."

"I have an idea and feel free to shoot me down, I'll understand."

"What's up?" He asked and she hesitated. "Doll?"

"How about we take a nap together?" It came out in a rush and she looked down at the table, nervous about his reaction. She was coming off as needy, clingy. They'd only met last night for Pete's Sake and she just--

"Sounds like a great idea." He said and she looked up at him. "Really. I wouldn't mind spendin' a lazy day with you, and apparently, Nap Dates are a thing."

"G-great." She said with a small smile, "I'll send you my address and we can go back to my place. Unless you'd rather we go back to yours."

"Yours is good. Whatever would make you comfy. Military life trained me to sleep just about anywhere." Sy said and she pulled out her phone, texting him her address and hearing his phone chime a moment later from his pocket. "Come on. Nap time awaits." 

Even though he had her address as a backup, he had no issues following her back to her place in his truck, parking behind her car in the driveway. He looked around as they got inside, letting out a low whistle.

"Nice digs." He said and she shrugged. "Maybe I should get into real estate."

"You could do a lot with that bachelor's degree you have," Heather said, throwing her keys on the table by the door and kicking off her shoes. "Police, state troopers, maybe even apply to Quantico. Prior military experience will help, too."

"I got a buddy who was snatched up by the CIA when his 6 years was up. He told me he'd put in a good word for me if I decide to leave before retirement age." Sy said, "I don't think I'm spook material, though. Hadn't considered Quantico."

"Never hurts to keep your options open."

"True enough." He said and turned to her, going to her and sliding his hands around her waist. Her own hands went to his chest, the material of his shirt soft under her palms.

"Bedroom's this way." She said, patting his chest once before pulling away from him and leading him up the stairs. "I'm going to get changed out of these clothes if you want to get comfy." He leaned in the doorway of her bedroom, watching her for a moment before his eyes swept over the room. Something on her dresser caught his attention and he went to it, staring down at it with a quizzical expression. "It's resin, don't worry." She said, going up behind him as he stared at the skull and he snorted. Grabbing her pajamas from the end of the bed, she went into the bathroom to change, pulling the clip from her hair and running a brush through it. Seeing as it had still been damp from the shower when she clipped it up, it had dried in messy waves so she just pulled it back again into a sloppy bun at the back of her head.

Sy was laying in bed when she emerged from the bathroom and she saw his clothes folded neatly on top of the dresser, his boots on the floor with his socks shoved into them.

"Kept my drawers on just to be on the safe side." He said and she smiled slightly, looking over at him. The blankets were at his waist and his hand was behind his head as he lay back against the pillows. The sight of his hairy muscular chest and stomach threatened to short-circuit her brain. He didn't have a happy trail, he had a parking lot. Some nervousness started to creep in as she went around the bed to the empty side, her movements a little hesitant as she climbed in. "If you're havin' second thoughts, I can take a hike. No harm done."

"It's just been a while since I shared a bed with anyone, is all." She said and he made an understanding sound.

"Come here, doll." He said, his voice low and she turned over to face him, seeing him on his side towards her. The look in his eyes made her heart race, but it wasn't one of lascivious intent. Moving closer to him, his arm wrapped around her waist and he tugged her even closer, his lips pressing to her forehead and making her sigh, tension she didn't even realize was there leaving her muscles. His skin was warm, his chest hair slightly coarse, and he smelled fantastic. Turning in his arms, she put her back to him and his arm tightened briefly, pulling her back against his chest and she felt his legs tangle with hers, pressing them fully together. "That's my good girl." The whispered praise made her sigh again and, oddly enough, made tears burn in her eyes. She just blinked rapidly to clear them before sliding her hand over his arm and shifting slightly to get comfortable, closing her eyes as she felt him press a gentle kiss to her shoulder.

Heather had been a fitful sleeper just about her entire life, never staying still, tossing and turning, briefly waking up several times. Even when she was married it didn't stop, much to David's chagrin. He was often snippy with her in the morning as her constant movement was an annoyance for him. With Sy, though, she didn't think she moved once, sleeping deeply wrapped in his arms with his warmth at her back. She was utterly and completely dead to the world, not the half-conscious rest she was used to.

She didn't know how long she was out, but it must have been several hours as the sun was setting when she finally woke. Had she really slept the entire day? She had been more tired than she realized. Sy was still asleep behind her, his arm still around her waist and his warm breath fanning across the back of her neck. Shifting slightly, she turned over as gently as she could so she didn't wake him, looking at him with his face relaxed in sleep. He really was handsome, almost devastatingly so. What was he doing with her? She knew they weren't officially together, but the fact that he had any interest in her at all surprised her somewhat.

David always commented on her appearance, telling her how plain she looked, how utterly unremarkable. He also scoffed at her slightly Gothic design and wardrobe choices. Dark clothes, and anatomical diagrams in frames on the walls. Her Tristan and Isolde Salvador Dali painting had been taken out of storage after the divorce, as David hadn’t allowed it in the house, saying it was "creepy", whereas she described it as "hauntingly beautiful".

Why had she married him? Maybe it was because he had convinced her that he was the best she was ever going to get. After she informed him that got herself sterilized while he was away on a "boys trip", he raged at her, calling her selfish among other less civil things. It still devastated her when he asked for a divorce, citing fraud as the reason. Her attorney asked him to clarify and he said that when he married her, he was under the impression that they were going to have children, start a family. She had quickly rebutted that he knew she didn't want children, that she had informed him very early in their relationship that she didn't want children, his sister backing her up at the character hearing. It wasn't her fault, nor was it fraud, that he didn't believe her or had no plans to respect her wishes. The judge agreed and David's attempts to weasel out of alimony on the basis of fraud failed.

It had taken their marriage falling apart for her to realize that he hadn’t wanted a partner, he wanted a Stepford Wife. Someone to rely on him wholly and truly, to take care of the house and the kids, to give up her career and put aside everything she wanted in favor of his own wants. He hadn’t been like that while they were dating, pulling the wool over her eyes, hiding his true self until the vows were exchanged. She should have known, she should have seen. His mother had given up her partnership at a law firm when she married his dad, becoming a housewife, having dinner on the table at 5 o’clock sharp, all chores completed and the house spotless. For some women, that kind of life was fulfilling in its own way, but that wasn’t the life she wanted for herself.

Moving into him, she tucked her face into his neck, sliding her arm around his waist and sighing. It must have woken him, as his arm tightened around her waist and she heard him breathe in deep through his nose, his lips pressing to the side of her head.

“Hey.” He said groggily, and she hummed against him. “What time is it?”

“No idea.” She said, “Sun’s going down, though.”

“Damn, didn’t know I was that tired.” Sy said, his hand starting to rub her back gently. “How’d you sleep?”

“Better than I have in a while.”

“Same.” He said, his thumb moving back and forth over her back.

“You hungry?” She asked and he hummed.

“Don’t want to get up yet. Comfy.” He said and she giggled slightly, pressing a gentle kiss to his skin, making him give out a low hum. "Do that again." She pressed another kiss to his neck, this time to the heavy pulse under his jaw. "Mmmm, baby." He moved, rolling them over so he pressed her to the bed, his hips pressed against hers as he buried his face in her neck, his beard scratching over her skin as he mouthed along her throat. "Tell me to stop and I will."

"No." She said, moving her hands over his bare back. "Don't stop." He picked his head up to look at her, his eyes moving over her face before he kissed her, one of his hands coming up to hold the side of her jaw. The feel of his body on top of hers, his lips moving against hers made that familiar tingle start in her thighs, a pressure building between her legs. His other hand pushed under her shirt and over her ribs, fingertips skirting around the edge of her breast. "Sy…" She sighed.

"Oh fuck, Heather." He said, the timbre of his voice making a shiver go down her spine. Her arms raised as he pulled her shirt from her and she pulled him down into another kiss, wrapping her legs around his waist. "I didn't--I don't want you to think I agreed to this just to get you into bed. Euphemistically speakin'."

"I know." She said, "And I didn't ask if you wanted to with the intent of seducing you."

"But, fuck, you're beautiful." He said and her eyes burned at the sudden compliment. She just closed them, pulling him into another kiss.

Sy took her breath away with the passion with which he made love to her. This man definitely wasn't real. The whispered praise against her skin, the way he held her while he was inside her, and the eye contact. He insisted on looking into her eyes as he moved within her, wanting to see how he was making her feel. His hands on her body, his lips on her skin, how it felt while they were connected, it was all almost too much and she came more than once before he finally seated himself inside her fully, groaning as he released into her. He took her to the bed from their seated position with her in his lap, holding her close.

"Goddamn." She whispered and heard him chuckle slightly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sy ended up spending the night, part of her telling her that they were going too fast, but it felt so utterly right to be in his arms. He surprised her the next morning with breakfast in bed, watching her eat as he drank his coffee, a small smile on his face. He spent all of Sunday with her, too, and they had sex several times throughout the day and in various rooms of the house. The shower, on the kitchen island, with her kneeling on the couch, her hands gripping the back as he held onto her hips. He couldn't seem to get enough of her and she was the same with him, returning his advances each and every time with a matched enthusiasm. She hadn't been like this with David, in fact they hadn't been having sex at all for almost the last year of their marriage. 

The feel of Sy's heavy body on hers, the way he touched her with his hands and lips, it made her feel beautiful, cherished.

He would have stayed the night again, if he hadn't needed to report for duty Monday morning and he left late Sunday night to head home. The kiss he gave her at the door made her toes curl and she very nearly pulled him back into the house by his belt. Somehow she resisted and watched him walk away, getting into his truck and pulling out of her driveway, disappearing down the street.

Her pillows still smelled like him when she went to bed and it warmed her heart, his goodnight text making her smile before she drifted off.

Sy had warned her that while he was on duty, he didn't really have access to his phone, so if she didn't hear from him, or respond to her messages, that was why. She kept her messages to a minimum, sending him a good morning text when she got up that wasn't responded to until long after she got home from work. He didn't have access to his phone, so she wasn't going to blow it up with messages.

It was about mid-week when she pulled into her driveway, seeing David's sedan parked out front, the man himself waiting on her doorstep. He was still wearing his suit from work and she hesitated a moment before getting out of her car.

"What're you doing here?" She asked as she walked up.

"Where is he?" David asked.

"Where is…"

"Jake Syverson." She hadn't told him his full name when she introduced him, just what he went by.

"How did you--"

"I waited until you guys left the coffee place and ran his plates." David said.

"That's…a massive ethics violation, David. Not to mention fucked up." She said, her fingers curling around her keys.

"Where is he?" He asked again.

"He's on duty this week."

"You mentioned he was in the Army."

"An Army Captain, yeah." Heather said, "David, what the hell is this all about? Please don't go all crazy jealous ex-husband. You asked for the divorce, not me. You wanted to end the marriage."

"He's not who he says he is." David said and she blinked at him.

"What."

"Jake Syverson is dead, Heather. He died three years ago in Afghanistan." He said, "I wasn't able to find particulars, just that it was in the line of duty."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" She asked with a sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "Of all the lame ass stories you could have come up with, "He's dead" is probably the dumbest."

"It's not a story." David said, "Whoever he is, he's not Jake Syverson. I don't know why he would take the identity of a dead soldier, but he's not who he says he is. Heather, I know we didn't end things on the best of terms, but I still care about you, and I'm worried about what this guy has planned for you. You need to cut off contact. Stop seeing him. If he tries to get in touch with you again, you need to call me and let me know."

"Absolutely not." Heather said, "And if I see any police cars, marked or unmarked, around my home, David, I'm calling your Captain and reporting you. Now get the hell off my property." Pushing around him, she unlocked the front door and went inside, closing it and throwing both of the deadbolts. Her first order of business after David had moved out was to change all of the locks, so even if he still had his key, he wouldn't be able to get in.  Pulling out her phone, she tried calling Sy but it went straight to voice-mail so she hung up without leaving a message. What would she say anyway? My ex-husband, who's a cop, says you stole the identity of a dead man? "Fucking ridiculous." She muttered and set about getting settled for the night.

She didn't see David for the rest of the week, although she did get an email from him in her inbox with Sy's name as the subject. While she didn't delete it, she didn't open it either, letting it sit there. The weekend came around again and she was laying in bed late Friday night when her phone dinged at her. Picking it up, she turned on the screen and saw the message from Sy.

"Let me in?" She nearly jumped out of bed, bouncing to the front door with a smile on her face and throwing back the locks, opening the door. He hadn't changed out of his uniform and she pulled him in even as he moved into her, his arms coming around her waist as she encircled his neck with hers.

"I missed you, doll." He said, hugging her tightly and she gave a squeak as he suddenly picked her up, walking her into the house and kicking the door closed before setting her down again. He had trimmed his beard at some point and it was neat on his jaw instead of the slightly unkempt it had been before. The whiskers were soft under her hands as she pulled him into a kiss that he responded to instantly, his hands encircling her waist as he pressed back against her. "Come on, baby, let's get reacquainted. It's been a long week." With his hands holding the backs of her thighs, she hopped up, wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him again. She heard him throw the locks on the front door before he carried her to the bedroom.

Sy was sleeping soundly as she left the bedroom, easing the door closed before walking down the hall to her office, dressed in only the green t-shirt he had been wearing under his uniform jacket. Get reacquainted with each other was right. It was like he hadn’t seen her in months, not just a week. Not that she was complaining. It was early morning, the sun was just barely up and she turned on her computer, needing to check emails for responses she was waiting for.

She saw David’s email in there still and she clicked the checkbox next to it before going up to the garbage can icon. She should just delete it. It was bullshit. Sy was Sy. He wasn’t someone pretending to be a dead man. Her curiosity won over and she opened it, looking over the obituary.

IN LOVING MEMORY

JAKE SYVERSON

There was a birthday and date of death, but no picture. The in memoriam statements matched what Sy had told her about himself. Born in Coppell, Texas, both parents were still in the picture, three younger siblings. Played football in high school, graduated middle of his class. It even mentioned the bachelors in Criminal Justice from UTD before heading into the Army Officer’s Program. A sliver of doubt started to creep in. It matched what he told her, but then it was his life, why wouldn’t it. She was being ridiculous. Served with distinction in the Army Special Forces, Purple Heart for sustaining injuries in the line of duty (he had a scar on his thigh that looked like a bullet wound), a Silver Heart awarded presumptuously at his service for valor. It didn’t say how he died, but then if he was Special Forces, it wouldn’t.

She was being stupid.

Going to google, she put in his name along with his hometown and the first match was the obituary David had sent her, but the second was a facebook profile. Clicking on it, she looked over it. There were messages on the wall posted after the date of death from friends saying how much they missed him, family saying that Christmas and Thanksgiving were hard without him that year. It was a public profile, so she went into the pictures, her eyes going wide. It was him. One-hundred percent him. The latest photos even showed him with the buzzed hair and beard, smiling a smile she knew so well. One of the pictures he was lying in a hospital bed, the leg with the scar wrapped in bandages and elevated. He looked tired, but still managed a smile and a thumbs up to the camera, a caption of “Well that sucked” on the sidebar along with comments for him to get better soon.

It was him. Why would he fake his death? And if he did fake his death, why would he still go by his real name?

“Babe?” She looked up, seeing him leaning in the doorway of the office. “It’s still early, what’re you doin’ up?” She didn’t answer, staring at him with wide eyes. The scant light coming in from the window was making his eyes glow with an unnatural golden light. “Shit.” She moved quickly, pushing out of the chair and running out of the side office door, hearing him chase after her. She was almost to the front door when his arms came around her tight, lifting her off her feet. Heather fought against him, tried kicking as her arms were pinned against her sides. “Stop fightin’ me, I ain’t gonna hurt ya!” Her mouth opened to scream, but his hand clamped over it, “Heather, baby, please stop fightin’ me. I’m not gonna hurt you. Please, baby, please.” He set her down on her feet, but kept a hold on her, tears burning in her eyes and spilling over, gathering on his fingers. “Don’t cry, please don’t cry.” He sounded in pain, pressing his forehead to the back of her head. “I’m not going to hurt you. I’d never hurt you.” She stopped fighting against him, stopped struggling to break free and his arm loosened around her. “I’m gonna take my hand off your mouth. Don’t scream.” She nodded quickly and his hand lowered slowly. “I need to explain.”

“You’re fucking right you do!” She yelled and felt him flinch at her back as if she had hit him. “You’re a fucking dead man!”

“Yeah, I am.” He sighed, “I died, baby, I died and was buried.” She hadn’t been expecting that, him saying that he faked his death for some reason, maybe, but not for him to actually admit that he was dead. “It didn’t take and I had to be dug up again.”

“What the fuck do you mean “it didn’t take”?!” He turned her around and she looked up at him, seeing the pain in his eyes that broke through her own anger and fear somewhat.

“Heather, I…” He stopped, closing his eyes briefly with a sigh, “The name I registered with the speed dating company is not the name I gave you. I gave you my real name, fuck I don’t know why, but I registered under an alias. I go to them to find women, take them home, feed from them, and then wipe their memories of me.”

“What?” She asked after a moment.

“But you, I knew the moment I saw you that you were different. I didn’t just want to have a night with you, take what I needed, and then move on.” He said, reaching up to hold the side of her face gently. “I wanted so many nights with you, and days, and weeks, and months, and years.”

“What the hell are you?” She asked and he sighed again.

“I don’t know if there’s a word for me exactly.”

“You said you feed off of women. What do you take from them?”

“Their energy, their life force, whatever you wanna call it. Not enough to hurt’em, but enough to keep me goin’.”

“Do they know that you…”

“I do it in the middle of us bein’ together. They probably don’t even notice.”

“But you…wipe their memories.”

“Last thing I want to do is hurt’em by havin’em think I was just some asshole who wanted to get laid and used’em.” Sy said, “Best they don’t remember me at all.”

“But you did use them.”

“In a way, yeah. I ain’t proud of it, but I gotta do what I gotta do to survive.”

“Did you ever…feed off of me?”

“No.” He said sternly, “Heather, baby, I…you’re special, fuck if I know how, but you are.”

“How do I know you’re not just some…psychopath living in a fantasy world? How do I know you’re not just going to kill me and dump my body somewhere?”

“I’d never hurt you, Heather, I told you.” He said, “But you’re right, what I’m tellin’ you sounds crazy. Even to me and I’m livin’ it.” His eyes closed again and he breathed in deep, letting it out slowly. When he opened them again, his blue eyes were gone, replaced by a solid black that covered the iris and the whites, so dark that she could almost see herself in them. The black slowly faded away to the edges of his eyes, and they were normal again. The small display seemed to tire him and his shoulders sagged somewhat.

“Where were you?” She asked and he gave her a questioning look. “The Army thinks you’re dead. Where were you all this week?”

“I needed to feed, so I went out and…fed.” He said and she went quiet.

“Oh.”

“I didn’t sleep with’em.” He said quickly, “I went back to their place, yeah, but I fed and wiped their memories of me, leavin’em asleep.”

“You didn’t…” Why was that important to her? She just found out the man she’s been having amazing marathon sex with wasn’t even human and she was hung up on him sleeping with other women? Priorities.

“I didn’t want to. Wasn’t interested in bein’ with’em like that.” Sy said, “Not since I met you.”

“But you still…fed from them.”

“I needed to. Real food doesn’t do anythin’ for me anymore, it’s empty. It’d be like you not eatin’ for a couple days.”

“Oh.”

“I was going to tell you, I was, I promise.” Sy said, “When we had been together longer, I was gonna spill those beans and deal with the fallout.”

“David is a cop.” Heather said and he arched a brow at her.

“Okay?”

“He ran the license plates on your truck, it’s registered under your name. He emailed me your obituary.” She said, “He told me to let him know if you ever contacted me again.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Absolutely not.” She said, “That was…before.”

“And now?” He asked and there was a moment before she stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his chest and holding him. He gave a great shuddering sigh as he returned her embrace, holding her tightly.

“No one else.” She said and felt him go still.

“Babe?”

“You don’t feed from anyone else.” What the fuck was she saying? Was she wrong in the head? “Just me.”

“Heather?”

“You said it doesn’t hurt them, right?”

“Yeah.” Sy said, “I don’t take enough to hurt’em. I could, but I don’t.”

“Then no one else.”

“Oh, babe.” He sighed and pulled back, reaching up to hold the sides of her jaw before he leaned into her again, pressing his lips to hers. There was a moment of hesitation before she kissed him back, her eyes closing. “Somethin’ special.” He backed her against the nearest wall, kissing her again as he pressed against her. When she opened her eyes, she saw his were black as he stared down at her and there was a small fissure of fear before she shoved it away, pulling him back in. Bending a little, his face buried in her neck, lips moving over her skin and she felt his chest inflate as he breathed in deep. There was a pulling deep in her chest that made her gasp, her eyes closing and he groaned against her. “Fuck.” He sighed and pressed his lips to the heavy pulse under her jaw before inhaling again, the pull stronger this time and making her moan. It felt like a thread was connecting them and she pulled him up into a kiss, feeling him press against her stomach, hard and thick. “You taste so fuckin’ good.”

[siriuslychessi]

02 Sandcastles

The lake was quiet in the morning, everyone would be either studying for exams or at the Great Hall for breakfast, yet Marlene loved that part of the morning outside, where the chill turned warmer, the sun bathed every corner of the grounds and she had time alone with her thoughts. 

And thoughts she had plenty. 

The wizarding world was at war, even if she wasn’t sure how it led there, and what had happened for wizards to turn so vicious on muggles, people that only did their own things and were not aware of their existence. And then how that hate had permeated through the magical society, tainting most of the relationships you might have, or considered having.

What had come of the world that hate was the answer and not anything else. 

She supposed that if she was younger she wouldn’t be thinking so much about this, her younger self knew there was some injustice, but the older she grew the more she worried, the more she understood how much she really cared. And it frightened her. 

Her alone time did not last very long as she felt someone sit next to her. 

No need to turn as she smelled the strong cologne of no other than Sirius Black. 

They sat there, looking at the lake, the little waves crashing at the shore. She could almost taste her last summer vacation before her seventh year, the last holiday before becoming an adult, having to make decisions that would impact her life and the life of the people she loved. 

“You read The Prophet?” His voice sounded distant at first, then it became clearer as she stopped focusing on her buzzing thoughts but on the presence near her. 

“Yeah,” she said quietly, not daring to look at him, she knew she would have too many emotions to face him right now. 

“Told you not to do that before breakfast, it always ruins your appetite,” he admitted, moving to stand and dusting off the sand from his trousers, his hand extended to her. 

“You are not my dad.” Marlene rolled her eyes, looking at his hand, “I don’t want to go back just yet.” she said truthfully.

“Who said anything about going back.” she could hear the smirk in his voice. “Come on, trust McKinnon, have I ever steered you wrong?”

Marlene chuckled, “I still remember a terrible James birthday where I ended up covered in goo.” 

“Pfff, merely once.” Sirius smiled at her, the sun behind him, the atmosphere changing with each minute they spoke. “Come on, Mars, I need a princess for my castle, won’t you join me?” he teased. 

“Castle?” she frowned, he mentioned they wouldn’t be going back. 

“Oh yes, very important castle.” He replied, “Technically we have to build it first, but I’m sure it’ll be a nice kingdom once we finish it.” 

“What do you mean build–” she didn’t have time to finish asking the questions while Sirius motioned to the sand around them, “You want us to build a sand castle?” she asked, amused. 

“The biggest there is, Bob loves them.”

“Bob?” 

“Yes, I mean he can’t come to shore, the big fellow, but I think he does love the castles we make, he always splash about when we build them.” Sirius pointed to the lake, and the cogs in Marlene’s brain finally moved in the right direction. 

“You named the Giant Squid Bob?” Marlene was genuinely laughing now. “You are mental.”

“Certifiable.” Sirius joked, “It was James’ idea, after Lily told him she would rather date the Giant Squid than date him, he needed a name for his nemesis. We were even more idiotic last year.” he admitted.

Marlene was laughing uncontrollably at how dumb it all sounded, but it sounded just like them. And by Morgana, she loved them just like that.

“What do you say, princess, would you help me build a castle?”

Marlene had seen him fake smile his way out of detentions, with other people trying to appear charming, even with herself when he tried to be dismissive, but this time around the smile on Sirius face was genuine, and it warmed her heart and whole body. 

“Let’s make Bob proud.” she smiled back, taking Sirius hand, feeling how her heart leaped once their hands touched, but decided that for today she would only think of sandcastles and nothing more. She could dissect her feelings for a certain black haired boy in the comfort of her room with the advice of her friends.