#i feel like a clown even though everyone says its beautiful

[offensiveslur]

In my not into blush/bronzer era

[hopeluna]

★★

CW: 18+ , strangers to enemies to lovers??, smut at the end, a bit crack to be honest, a little fluff too

♡! hope's notes: i am a clown at writing smut pls ignore <3

m.list

Satoru who you met on a particularly sour morning on your way to work. You swore you wanted to shove something up this stranger's ass when he told you to watch it after accidentally bumping into him.

Satoru who was having the worst day himself. His mind only registered you after you walked away, cursing himself for being rude to someone who looked like the embodiment of beauty.

Satoru who was absolutely screaming inside when he saw you from afar a few days later at a bar. You were less than elated at seeing him. You were merely looking for a peaceful night, hoping to drink your stress away and that dream looked far fetched the more this guy was stepping towards you with a grin.

Satoru who from then on seemed to pop up in the most random places that you were in. He didn't even do it intentionally. But he always strikes up a conversation with you everytime, saying that its destiny that you stumble upon each other so much. You like to think its the universe giving you a sign to kill yourself.

Satoru who you slowly start to warm up to more, despite his more than hyper personality. Suddenly, all his annoying ramblings are not annoying anymore but sort of...endearing? You want to throw up from the warm, gooey feeling bubbling in your stomach everytime you are with him.

Bf!Satoru who you're not really sure how he became your boyfriend. You like to say that Satoru put a curse on you to be with him against your will. Satoru hates that joke, pouting everytime.

Bf!Satoru is definitely the type of boyfriend who steals your lipgloss from your bag when you're not looking any chance he gets. How do you think his lips stay so pretty?

Bf!Satoru will sneak in bites of food from your plate but will pout like a toddler if you ask for some of his.

Bf!Satoru who has a special ability to tell when you are having a bad day and will wordlessly put on your favourite movie in the background and will accidentally find your favourite snacks in the pantry.

Bf!Satoru who never misses the chance to loudly proclaim that you're his partner. Especially when others are eyeing you up.

Bf!Satoru who is a absolute menace with his teeth. He will bite you at the most random times, in the most random places. You have to be careful when he is walking behind you in public because he will bite you hard in the neck in front of everyone.

Bf!Satoru who's bites you only like when he is between your thighs. It annoys you often though, the way he neglects you and instead chooses to place bites and kisses all over your inner thighs.

Bf!Satoru who groans when you grip his hair tightly, shoving his face right in front of your dripping cunt. It makes you tremble, the way he maintains eye contact with you while licking a long strip, his eyes closing and letting out a muffled moan, like he just tasted the world's sweetest honey.

Bf!Satoru who is a little shit, but he's your little shit.

© hopeluna. Do not copy, translate, modify or repost any of my work in this or any other site. Do not steal or modify my ideas/concepts either.

[jealousmartini]

"Haven't you ever seen skin like mine?" A vault

Skin clarity + glow | Skin tone | skin clarity

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

⋆.˚ Skin clarity .𖥔˚

My skin is just so clear and beautiful, I can't help staring and feeling it. I am just in awe at how wonderfully blessed I am to be born with such perfect ideal skin. It is so gorgeously smooth, and while its firmness keeps me looking young and perfect, it is still supple and has a slight bounce to the touch.

I mean my skin is so perfect some friends ask me what brand of skin care I use to get my skin so even and glowing like it does, but truth be told.. genetics and positive assumptions about myself I guess😭?? I've never had any reason to use skin products because my skin has always been naturally flawless, and ive never had any reason to doubt myself because literally look at me- i am the proof. That's just my nature. But every now and then, I'll get gifted high-quality skin korean care sets and expensive most wanted skin moisturisers with the most delicious and entising scents by my mum "just in case" but also because the process is fun😋

It's also so fun being able to eat whatever I want without ever having to worry about my skin because nothing could ever affect its perfectness. I just eat what I want, and the after-effects are like a couple of crumbs on my lips and still looking pretty😭

But some people do be jealous tho🙄. "There is no way she can eat what she likes and still look that good" one says and "what about the acne? Has she even gotten a spot once?" another says. And it's even better when I post pictures or videos cus haters really be out here doing there best to convince themselves and everyone around them (like the clowns they are) that skin is impossible to look that perfect and it HAS to be makeup or it HAS to be a filter or she MUST have gotten some surgery of a kind and they all couldn't be more wrong lmao. I just be existing and nothing else and i am just that naturally radiant😂

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

⋆.˚ Skin colour.𖥔˚

I've had people pointing out how dewy and golden like my skin is like all my life and I never even thought about it until now. Well, I kind of always knew that I have the most gorgeous, jaw dropping skin colour that ranged between a deep caramel tan in the light and like a golden brown in the dark; I've even been accused of bleaching my skin to get a lighter tone once but how would that even make any sense when my tone changes slightly due to lighting?😭😭 But anyway other than that one person I've been getting remarkable amounts of compliments both in person and on social media about how glorious my skin colour looks. It's kind of overwhelming but ive been fighting though it.

skin colour in the dark | skin colour in bright lightings

∘₊ ✧───────────────────✧₊∘

1 dimple is ♡shaped | I sweat= I shimmer | cutest mole marks

⋆.˚ Unique features.𖥔˚

— Glittery skin when I sweat

I have a rare phenomenon that only 0.0001 in the entire human population have, with my skin where if I am to sweat, my skin will have a light glittery coat. Scientists have recently come to find out that the glittery coat left behind by the sweat is a natural skin protecting barrier. This is incredibly useful for preventing skin problems like rashes, strawberry skin, and uneven skin texture. Scientists have not found a name for this yet (im scientists and don't know what to call it)

— ♡Shaped Dimple

Another rare phenomenon for people to get is dimples. Only 0.01 of the entire human population have dimples, and an even smaller number of people (me) have a heart-shaped dimple. There is nothing scientific about this tho, it's just fun to look at

— Beauty marks / moles

I have a couple of cute beauty marks on my body and face. Also somewhat rare, somewhat not lol. Nothing more to add😊

@theshifterbear @livingmydreamlife5555 @4ellieluv

This was lowkey entertaining to script especially the unique features one too. ONTO THE NEXT!

[youremyheaven]

so well put, I think people underestimate how much the way you dress effects how people see you. People limit their creative expression because they get caught up in their features, the way their body looks, etc. when the truth is people just love and gravitate towards beauty and art... if you're someone who adorns yourself beautifully and makes that a part of yourself, people will find you beautiful 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am usually considered beautiful and yes i am a healthy young woman lol but other than that I don't see myself as having one over any other girl, every girl is beautiful and can learn to alchemise it in a way. Also yess! If I go out in a hoodie or something I find myself invisible too lol, or at least blending it more.

I live in Australia!! It's a thing here, people don't dress up lol or wear colours. I definitely relate to what you're saying about being the only one to dress up for class 😭💜 I think a lot of people admire when somebody carries themselves with that level of class and artistry, I'm sure lots of people commend you for it :) (and ofc the Venus men are eating it up) hahaha

The aussie culture is reaaally casual and I kinda love that, it's a chill place to live but I do wish there was more colour. Everyone is so... monochromatic here. I'm not muslim but we just live in a muslim area where a lot of people immigrate straight from Lebanon and that kinda thing. In this specific area, the girls who aren't hijabi just wear black leggings and a black hoodie. I be looking like a clown for being so colourful hahaha.

Also you're right!! They might be less judgy than I'm imagining. I'm still trying to wear what I like but yes, baby's safety comes first so I have to go a litttle incognito at least for now 🕶️🤣💕

"so well put, I think people underestimate how much the way you dress effects how people see you. People limit their creative expression because they get caught up in their features, the way their body looks, etc. when the truth is people just love and gravitate towards beauty and art... if you're someone who adorns yourself beautifully and makes that a part of yourself, people will find you beautiful 🤷🏼‍♀️ I am usually considered beautiful and yes i am a healthy young woman lol but other than that I don't see myself as having one over any other girl, every girl is beautiful and can learn to alchemise it in a way. Also yess! If I go out in a hoodie or something I find myself invisible too lol, or at least blending it more."

THISSSS. this is the Venusian code!!!

I feel like many women feel as though they're not "pretty enough" to dress up, when the truth is, by performing the action (dressing up) you can invoke the feelings (feeling good/feeling pretty). you dont feel pretty because you're not channelling your Venus (the Venus everyone has in their birth chart, which is the planet of love, beauty, creativity etc). its like someone saying they dont feel clean and refusing to take a shower. like if u feel dirty, then the solution is to step into the shower.

same way, if u dont feel "good enough" , u will feel it once u invest the time and energy in taking care of yourself <333 rituals are important because it makes us feel purposeful!!! a life with none is dull and dreary.

people treat u so differently based on how ur dressed,, its such a powerful tool!!! when i was a teenager it made me sad bc i thought i had to rely on it ?? to be treated in a special way✨ but as i grew older i realised that its just the clothes lol bc even the most beautiful celebrities look meh in unflattering clothes.

"I live in Australia!! It's a thing here, people don't dress up lol or wear colours. I definitely relate to what you're saying about being the only one to dress up for class 😭💜 I think a lot of people admire when somebody carries themselves with that level of class and artistry, I'm sure lots of people commend you for it :) (and ofc the Venus men are eating it up) hahaha"

Australia??? 😭😭the way u described it, i thought u lived in the Middle East 😭😭😭

they dooo hehe 🥰😌 my professors always complimented me for it as well🥰😌 (im rlly grateful for that bc i know a lot of professors/teachers, esp in india can be MEAN asf to girls who dress up) i was always the first to show up in class and i had this one professor (im dyinggg to know her birthday bc she loved me sooo much) who complimented me every single day,, she'd be like "i know if i come at this time only you'd be in class but i still come because it makes me sooo happy to see your beautiful face first thing in the morning 🥰🥰" and id be like 🥹🥹idk why but she was sooo sweet to me (everybody else disliked her bc she was strict asf)

she remembered and noticed random things about me and i remember one day i just wore jeans and a cute top to class, which is not my usual style at all (i dont wear pants, remember??) and i went to the staff room to talk to a different professor and this prof pulled me aside and asked me concerningly "why aren't you dressed up today? 😦😟 you look so pretty when you're dressed up, why did you dress so plainly?" ngl it kinda hurt my feelings lmfaooo but then i took it in my stride bc it made me realise that when someone channels their beauty, its sooo valuable to others around them as well because everybody wants to surround themselves with beauty!! and a lack of it, makes things seem dull!!

(the Venus men did eat it up 😉😏)

"The aussie culture is reaaally casual and I kinda love that, it's a chill place to live but I do wish there was more colour. Everyone is so... monochromatic here. I'm not muslim but we just live in a muslim area where a lot of people immigrate straight from Lebanon and that kinda thing. In this specific area, the girls who aren't hijabi just wear black leggings and a black hoodie. I be looking like a clown for being so colourful hahaha."

damnnn, thats so interesting. i never would've assumed that about australia (granted that its an island and most people probably just dress for comfort???). but that means, you can be the anomaly 😏😏by wearing colors!!

one thing i love about india is how colorful and vibrant it is!!! absolutely every corner of india, even the insides of rickshaws are soooo colorful and pretty!!! i love it!!

nooo girlieeee, i think you're overthinking it. unless you're wearing flaming neon colours, i dont think you'd look odd at all!!! (and even if u did, im sure u could pull it off!!)

these are all colorful lewkzz and they're also relatively modest!! idk if they're your style but i just thought id give u some ideas 😬(they're my style tho😌🤭)

"Also you're right!! They might be less judgy than I'm imagining. I'm still trying to wear what I like but yes, baby's safety comes first so I have to go a litttle incognito at least for now 🕶️🤣💕"

i understand this completely!!! do whatever you've got to do to stay safe!! (although its unfortunate that it has to mean not dressing up :((( screw the male gaze 😠😠)

[st4rgzer]

KNOW ITS FOR THE BETTER p.1 (Conrad Fisher)

summary: you return for another summer, little do you know this one will be very very different

genre: angst

cw: uuh there's not very many, just maybe some self esteem issued implied?

a/n: I just got the random urge to start a multiple part story about Conrad so yeah, there will be more parts, so if people like this, I will release them.

Me and Conrad have been best friends since we were kids, I'd always come with the Conklin's to the beach house every summer, it was my second home, and I loved it.

Belly and I were like sisters, she was my best friend, I'd spend the nights in her room gossiping about boys, doing our nails and makeup, I was the shoulder she cried on when Conrad talked about other girls. I didn't think much of it at first, I mean, if he talked about other girls all the time with me, I'd be upset too, it was normal, right?

Conrad and I were also inseparable. One summer, he broke his elbow in an attempt to skate and he couldn't go out for 3 weeks, I didn't think twice to stay with him there, we played card games, ate ice cream, rewatched the goonies for the 100th time even though he was the only one who enjoyed watching it, I listened to him whine about him not being able to do anything for what felt like an eternity, but that he was thankful he had someone to sit through it with him. I never knew I liked liked Conrad till the summer I turned 14. I don't know why but something just clicked, It wasn't even something special, we were on the beach while belly, jere and steven were splashing around in the water, it was night, and even though I knew it was always chilly on the beach when it was late, I refused to bring a sweatshirt, so I was freezing cold, he looked at me and laughed, I got embarrassed. And he gave me his sweater, no words were exchanged, we just sat there in silence looking at each other, smiling, for just a few minutes, but long enough that I noticed the butterfly's in my stomach weren't just a figment of my imagination I chose to ignore, they were real, this was real, and the feelings I had for him weren't just platonic.

Forward 2 years and it was finally summer again, and no, I never acted on my feelings, I knew belly liked him, I knew she would be mad if she found out all the times she was rambling on about how "perfect" he was, I was thinking the same, she wouldn't be happy.

This summer, Belly got pretty, don't get me wrong, she was always pretty, she had this natural beauty I envied and adored, but according to everyone else, she had a "glow up", which basically meant she got her braces off and got older. I never thought I was very pretty, not in an insecure low self esteem way, but in an "I'm average" kind of way, I wasn't special like belly, I didn't light up a room when I entered, I never really tried with makeup, when I did I'd look like a clown, this summer I got better at it, I still didn't think I looked very good, but other people complimented me so I just kept doing it, Taylor showed me.

We got out of the car and Jeremiah, Conrad and Susannah were waiting for us, when belly got out of the care I swear I saw their mouth drop, hugs were exchanged as I silently waited for my turn.

"Y/n, hi!" Conrad says, stopping to look at me, it's weird, he'd never stared at me like that before, at least I don't think he ever has

"hey Connie" I reach for a hug, I breathe in his cologne, the same one he wore since his dad gave it to him when he was 12, it was way too strong for his age but he still liked it.

"You uh...you look really good" of course, the makeup, that's why he was looking at me like that, is it because I look silly? Or is it because I look good?

"thank you! You too" I say standing awkwardly, we've never had trouble with conversation before, this was definitely weird.

"Hey y/n/n!!" Jere shouted before engulfing me in a hug, he hasn't changed.

After the hello's and how are you's, Conrad and Jere did the annual Belly flop, a tradition I normally enjoyed, but they did it while I was talking to Susannah, they didn't call me, I ignore it.

Belly dries herself off and joins me, Susannah and Laurel in the kitchen, Susannah compliments Belly, telling her how pretty she got, I decide to go to my room, it's not that I didn't want to hear how gorgeous Belly was, but I just prefered to not be there.

I looked around the room, the green wallpaper that Susannah picked out, the Ivy bedsheets, the saltwater scent that flooded the room, and suddenly I finally felt at home for the first time since I got here, I lay on my bed, letting the duvet engulf me. I closed my eyes, then I hear a knock on my door.

"come in!" I yell, not bothering to move from my very comfortable position

"hey" Conrad walks in, I immediately sit up as he enters, looking around the familiar room

"hey, what's up?" I ask, slightly confused as to why he came all the way up here instead of shouting from downstairs for me to come down, like he usually does, the only times he came up to my room like this was when I was sick, or had my music too loud and wouldn't hear him yell from the living room.

"Is something going on?" He says very forward, hands in pockets. Why would he think something was going on? Did I do something that seems like something is going on? Maybe it was the way I said hello, or the way I lingered in the hug, maybe.

"No, why?" I lie.

"I don't know, it just seems off" he wasn't really the type that expressed feelings or addressed things, somehow with me it's different. We always say what we're thinking, well, apart from the fact that I have feelings for him...we haven't got there yet, maybe that was the reason I seem off, am I being too obvious?

"What seems off?" I pretend not to know. I'd rather act like I don't know anything than tell him the truth, even if that means lying to him.

"Us...we seem off, I don't know, maybe it's just me" He sits on the side of the bed, looking around, trying to focus on anything other than the conversation.

"Well, I've only been here like, 20 minutes so..." I laugh in an attempt to lighten the tension.

"Yeah yeah, totally...ok well, nothing then" he says scratching the back of his neck, still failing to maintain eye contact. There's awkward silence for a few seconds before he gets up.

"Well um, I'll see you later?" He says while pointing finger guns at me.

"Yeah of course" I chuckle as he leaves the room, he hesitates for a second before giving me a tight lipped smile

"Bye..."

"...bye"

I sit there staring at the door, wondering if he'll turn back. I know I shouldn't be lying to him, it feels wrong, but I just know I'll feel even worse of he learns the truth. It's for the better, right?

a/n: AAAAH I have a vision ok, bare with me

@iha8you @dwntwn-strnlo @20nugs

[pumpkinpie59]

What musicals the 2012 cast would love most

This was in part inspired by @fabuloustrash05 ‘s post about her Renet headcanons, where she mentioned that Renet likes historical musicals. You can find it here.

Anyway, since I am a theatre performer myself, I decided to associate some musicals with the rest of the TMNT cast. Enjoy ^^

Leonardo

“When I drive

When I drive

I'm in love, I'm alive

And I forget about everything I hate

When I drive

When I drive

I can read 65

I won't pay the long, long line

They'll always be behind

And man that just feels great”

If you were to ask him, he’d claim his favorite is Singin’ in the Rain (which I’ve been in btw). It’s funny and a total blast to watch (though ... the movie is better than the stage show). But in reality, his favorite is Bonnie and Clyde. You cannot convince me otherwise.

Raphael

“Always you, every thought I'll ever know

Everywhere I go, you'll be

All the world is only

You and me!”

Like Leo, he also doesn’t tell the truth about his favorite musical. He claims his favorite is Phantom of the Opera. An easy choice, and everyone believes him because it’s just as dramatic as he is lmao. But his favorite is West Side Story. I mean, c’mon, it has gangs, violence, and at its core has a mushy love story. He will not admit he likes it as much as he does.

Donatello

“If only you could know

The things I long to say

If only I could tell you

What I wish I could convey

It's in my every glance

My heart's an open book

You'd see it all at once

If only you would look”

He seems like a Disney fan. You’d think I would’ve chosen Beauty and the Beast, but nah. The Little Mermaid fits him better (I’ve also been in this show). He’s so insecure about not being human, and he’s also from a big family with an overprotective father, so I think he’d relate to Ariel a lot. Plus she’s a redhead so there’s that lol. Maybe a bit on the nose, but I don’t care.

Michelangelo

“We're a notorious couple of cats

As knockabout clowns, quick-change comedians

Tight-rope walkers and acrobats”

Yeah, he’s a Cats fan. I think he’d love how artistic and chaotic it is. His brothers probably hate it, which only makes him like it more lmao. He hated the movie.

April

“You can build me up, you can tear me down

You can try but I'm unbreakable

You can do your best, but I'll stand the test

You'll find that I'm unshakeable”

I kinda see April as the kinda girl to like the most popular musicals rather than obscure musicals, and I also wanted to choose one that was about strong women. I considered Wicked and Legally Blonde, but Six seemed most appropriate. Also, she’s my queen, so why not choose the one about queens pfft

Casey

“Flashpots are shootin' bright as the sun

I'm one highfalutin' sonuva gun!

Don't ask me how

Fortune found me, fate just crowned me

Now I'm King of New York!”

Casey’s favorite is Newsies. It just seems so freaking obvious. Plus, the love interest is a journalist, so do with that what you will.

Karai

“Home, Love, Family.

There was once a time

I must have had them, too.

Home, Love, Family,

I will never be complete

Until I find you...”

Like Leo and Raph, she also lies about her fav musical. She says it’s Little Shop of Horrors, and she does like it. The Dentist song cracks her up. But her favorite is Anastasia because it hits close to home. See lyrics above. She also lost her real family at a young age, and didn’t know the truth until she was 16. (Also, Anya is my dream role. I got to see the show on tour!)

Shinigami

“Gotta haunt till it hurts

Through the night

And give those guys the fright of their lives”

Shinigami gives me Beetlejuice vibes. I don’t know what else to say about it.

Mona Lisa

“Tranquil as a forest

But on fire within

Once you find your center

You are sure to win”

It’s my headcanon that Mona loves movies once Raph introduces her to them, so I think she’d like movie musicals more than stage musicals. Her favorite is Mulan. As a soldier herself, she respects how the film takes war seriously while still having uplifting and even funny moments throughout.

BONUS:

Lotus Blossom (my 2012 version)

“A new dream

I have one i know that very few dream

I would like to see that over-due dream

Even though it never may come true”

Jekyll and Hyde is a musical about murder, the duality of man, and tragic romance, all things that appeal to Lotus Blossom, an assassin with difficult experiences in romance. (Jekyll and Hyde was my favorite musical back when I first got into TMNT, too! Still is a favorite.)

[katakurisgirl]

FUTURE WORKS 😜

BASICALLY THINGS YOU WILL SEE ON MY PAGE IN THE FUTURE 😘 (Yes, most of my writings are inspired by songs in my playlist.)

-SUCCUBUS/ INCUBUS! READER TRYING TO CONVINCE CHARACTERS TO LUST

-UNDERCOVER, AFAB READER! X ROBIN ; reader is undercover as a man in Dressrosa when she falls in love with Nico Robin, Scared that Robin doesn’t have a preference for women.

-“WE’LL MEET AGAIN.” MEETING AS DIFFERENT PEOPLE! ; Brook runs into the reader who looks just like her dead grandmother that he regrets never admitting feelings to.

-“WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US?” ; One piece characters react to you and them killing someone for the first time

-THE MOTHER I WANTED; Reader is a princess from a VERY powerful family that even the yonko’s fear. Readers mother is harsh to them all their life but reader finds comfort from Big mom and sees her as a mother figure.

-“YOU ARE A MONSTER FROM HELL!” ; reader is Vivi’s sister and goes to Impel down to curse out Crocodile, This is the same time as Luffy breaking in and he recruits her to fight in marineford. Crocodile ends up saving reader constantly but she is always shutting down his advances.

-THE OTHER WOMAN ; Reader is in deeply love with Doflamingo and would do anything for him but he could not care less about reader. Corazon deeply cares about reader though.

-HEART TO HEART ; As the Straw hats are leaving Whole cake island, Sanji goes to get reader from the crows nest only to find out that they had sacrificed their life so that the crew could leave Whole cake island.

-“ITS JUST LIKE SEEING HER FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN.” ; Law sees afab! Straw hat! reader in Punk Hazard when he hasn’t seen her since Sabaody two years ago.

-“SO YOU WANNA MARRY, Y/N?” ; Different characters reactions to meeting their fiancés extremely wealthy family for the first time, the family tried to intimidate them.

-“YOUR BEAUTY NEVER REALLY SCARED ME.” ; Reader lives in a village where everyone is very unattractive, reader was considered unattractive in her village because she was the only pretty one. Reader wears a paper bag over her head to hide her “unattractive” face. Characters react to seeing readers face. (Hope this makes sense somehow.)

-“NEVER EVER GETTING RID OF ME” ; Luffy isn’t leaving tailor! Reader alone until they joins his crew.

-“WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY TO YOU?” ; Reader is Kuina’s sister and blames Zoro for her death. Reader avoids talking to Zoro, he sees her in louge town and confronts her.

-“SMOKING CIGARETTES ON THE ROOF, YOU LOOK SO PRETTY AND I LOVE THIS VIEW.” ; reader can’t sleep after Enies lobby because they are scared that the government will try to steal Robin while they sleep. Robin can’t sleep either and the two enjoy each others presence on the roof.

-“THEY WERE BOTH FOUND DEAD… “SHE MUST HAVE BEEN OUT OF HER HEAD.” ; Robin smells a perfume that is similar to the one Nami would wear. Jimbei asks who Nami and Reader were, the archeologist explains how the two died. Yandere! Nami.

-GHOSTING ; Reader ate a devil fruit that killed her and made her into a ghost. Reader likes to mess with Straw hats but decides to move on to the after life when her crew gets bored of her and her antics.

-BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ; The Disney tale but Katakuri is the beast, Reader is belle, and Doflamingo is Gaston.

-SLIPPIN THROUGH MY FINGERS ; Reader looses her daughters life, different characters react as the other parent.

-“I CAN’T IGNORE YOU, DO ANYTHING FOR YOU” ; Eustass kid who is obsessed with his ghost gf that only appears at night, heavily inspired by ‘In my room by Insane clown Posse.’

-Characters react to you kissing them with your new lip stick.

-“HIDDEN IN THE SAND” ; Zoro and Reader get lost on an island and walk on the shore until they eventually find their ship.

-CHARACTERS THAT WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH A TRAVELING TRADER READER.

-READER WITH CHARACTERS THAT CONSTANTLY FAN GIRL OVER THEM.

-CHARACTERS REACTING TO STRAW HAT! READER BEING SOLD AT AN AUCTION IN SABAODY

-“I CAN STILL SMELL HER PERFUME.” ; Reader was a run away princess when she joined the straw hat pirates but after her mothers death, she has to leave the crew and step up to be queen. The crew misses the reader and the ship still smells like her perfume.

-CHARACTERS WITH AN S/O THAT ATE A ZOAN DEVIL FRUIT THAT MAKES THEM A DEMON

-LOVE GAME! ; An entertainer forces reader to play a love game with the monster trio, they must all answer readers questions but in the end up all getting into a fight. (The neden game inspired)

-“SEARCHING FOR A MAN ALL ACROSS JAPAN JUST TO FIND, TO FIND MY SAMURAI” ; Reader looking for their S/O in Wano.

-“IF I COULD TELL HER” ; Ace talking to Yamato about his crush on Whitebeards strong grand daughter.

-“ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SAY MY NAME” ; Beetlejuice/Demon! Doflamingo trying to manipulate reader.

-DIFFERENT CHARACTERS WITH A VAMPIRE S/O

-UNDERCOVER STRAW HAT! ; Reader comes to Dressrosa before the rest of the crew, Reader bumps into Bartolomeo who doesn’t recognize her as a straw hat because she is in disguise and he is very rude to her but he regrets it when he recognizes reader.

-STRAW HATS RECRUITING A TAILOR!! ; Straw hats come to an island to get a tailor for their crew, they meet the reader at a bar. The reader gets into trouble and the straw hats find out that reader is the islands best tailor and a total bad ass! Straw hats make reader join their crew.

-PRINCESS! READER WITH A LOT OF CONNECTIONS. ; Reader is daughter of the most powerful family in the world and has become friends with A LOT of princesses/princes/yonkos/kings/queens/warlords/ect.

-READER AND STRAWHATS WAKE UP AND THEY ARE SPLIT UP IN A WEIRD CAVE SYSTEM!! ; What it would be like if you woke up with different straw hats in a cave system that is set up with traps and different rooms.

-ROLLER COASTER ISLAND!! ; You and the straw hats arrive on a theme park island! Luffy sister! Reader.

-CHARACTERS HEARING READER LAUGH! ; Characters react to hearing Reader laugh for the first time, reader is insecure about their laugh.

-QUEEN OF THE DUEL!! ; Afab! Reader looses her tittle as “Queen of the duel” after loosing a duel. Reader has to kinda seduce the guy that beat her so she can prove he cheated. Sanji is a jelous little guy :)

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS READING READERS DIARY!! ; Characters reaction to reading a seemingly innocent readers diary only to find out how big of a pervert they are.

-“THEN YOU WALKED IN AND MY HEART WENT BOOM!!” ; Royalty! Reader who’s family is hosting a ball and she can’t help but catch a crush on one of the guests.

-GUILTY, DAD! Eustass kid that got his son killed and reader has a hard time forgiving him.

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS REACTION TO SEEING LITTLE KIDS DRESSED AS THEM FOR HALLOWEEN!

-SICK FOREVER! ; Yandere! Sanji that takes care of a sick reader until they get better, but he won’t let them leave after they get better. (Heavily inspired by the one episode of Human Resources 😭)

-CHARACTERS THAT ARE MORE RESERVED WITH A VERY COCKY AND FLIRTY READER

-RUN AWAY PRINCESS READER AND SHY KNIGHT KOBY THAT FOLLOWS HER EVERYWHERE

-CHARACTERS AS DEITIES CRUSHING ON DEITY READER

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS WITH TALL WIFE READER

-NERDY ONE PIECE CHARACTERS AND NERDY READER

-TALL! DEMON QUEEN! AFAB READER! FLIRTING WITH ONE PIECE WOMEN

-DIFFERENT CHARACTERS REACTIONS TO HOW READER GOT A HIGH BOUNTY AT A YOUNG AGE

-DIFFERENT CHARACTERS AS DEMONS SEEING A HUMAN FOR THE FIRST TIME

-ENEMIES TO LOVERS WITH DIFFERENT ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

-CHARACTERS REACTION TO YOUR LAUGH SOUNDING LIKE A LAUGH FROM THEIR PAST.

-“THAT FUCKED UP GIRL” ; Basically Noel’s lament reader with a paper devil fruit bc I said so 😛

-REACTION TO ACCIDENTALLY BREAKING SOMETHING THAT BELONGS TO READER

-REACTION TO YOU LEAVING THE CREW

-CHARACTERS WITH AN S/O THAT DOESNT CARE ABOUT MONEY OR OBJECT VALUE

-CHARACTERS HAVING A CRUSH ON AN OLDER READER

-LAW MEETING CORAZONS STRAW HAT DAUGHTER

-BEING HANDCUFFED TO EACHOTHER

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS WITH A READER THAT ACTS LIKE SANJI

-VILLIANS REACTION TO FLIRTING DURING A FIGHT

-VILLIANS REACTION TO LAUGHING AT THEM DURING A FIGHT

-VILLIANS REACTION TO YOU HAVING A SIMILAR BACKSTORY

-REACTION TO READER MAKING A BUNCH OF “THATS WHAT SHE SAID” JOKES

-KILLING READER THAT IS IN LOVE WITH THEM

-READER THAT MAKES THEIR S/O THINK THEY NEVER LOVED THEM

-READER REACTION TO SOMEONE DOWN TALKING THEIR SIBLING

-READER REACTION TO SIBLING ABOUT TO DIE

-READER ERASES EVERY MEMORY OF THEIRSELVES FROM THEIR SIBLINGS MEMORIES BEFORE THEY DIE

-ONE PIECE WOMEN CALLING READER ATTRACTIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT

-NIJI, ICHIJI, AND YONJI WITH A HOT HEADED S/O

-CAPTIVE! READER

-BLACK CAT OR GOLDEN RETRIEVER?

-FAKE DATING

-WHO FELL FIRST AND WHO FELL HARDER

-BEING ACADEMIC RIVALS WITH ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

-ONE PIECE CHARACTERS WITH AN S/O THAT HATES EVERYONE BUT THEM

-READER THAT IS A PICKY EATER

-GETTING STUCK WITH DIFFERENT ONE PIECE CHARACTERS

-🔞ONE PIECE CHARACTERS GETTING WET DREAMS ABOUT READER🔞

OKAY THOSE ARE JUST THE ONES IM WORKING ON RN, LMK WHICH ONES YOU GUYS WANNA SEE FIRST. FEEL FREE TO REQUEST AND TELL ME WHAT CHARACTERS YOU WANT TO SEE IN DIFFERENT SCENARIOS/PROMPTS/HEADCANNONS 😘🫶

[butchladymaria]

11, 12, and 16 for the violence asks!! I need to know

OG POST HERE!!!

11. number of fandom-related words you’ve filtered

actually all 36 terms i have filtered are fandom-related lmao. honestly i use the filtering system as a way to clean up my dash. i sometimes filter a tag if someone i follow gets into a new thing that i’m ambivalent about or unfamiliar with. it means i can keep following them without seeing stuff i’m just not all that interested in yet but also (and especially) to avoid having something spoiled for me if i want to check it out in future! it also means that i can click the “show” button if i’m in the mood for something specific or want to learn more about it — go to their blog and just look for anything filtered :) this is literally the only way i know of to search a tumblr account for specific shit because the actual search function is Actually Useless Shit

16. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

man there’s so many picks here but i’d have to say annalise. she’s not unpopular as in actively disliked afaik, just more generally overlooked. i need to post more about her but like — she’s such a key piece of bloodborne’s themes around gender and motherhood and its a goddamn shame it doesn’t get talked about more!!! she feels like a foil to miss doll in many ways (editor’s note: i Went Off on this but it needs to be its own post, so rest assured i will elaborate lol). she’s such a goddamn tragic character. in so many ways it feels that she retreated into the role of the queen to cope with the loss of her people: there’s nothing left of her home besides that. she calls herself “we”, not “i”. she is the queen of cainhurst before she is a human being and it feels like a very visceral reaction to the bigotry of the church. she is trapped in the throne room in a nightgown — evidenced the fact that her portraits show her wearing period-typical gowns, and the attire she wears looks like historical sleepwear. it makes me fucking insane. she was wearing her nightgown when the executioners attacked. despite seeing everyone she ever knew and loved be butchered before her eyes, despite being reviled as a corrupted subhuman monstrosity, despite being imprisoned in complete solitude for god only knows how long, she still fucking demands your respect and i love her for it. she is canonically some flavor of queer on account of the fact she rejects your marriage proposal in an identical way regardless of gender. i am able to fulfill my fantasy of a beautiful vampire woman bossing me around thru her questline. what is not to fucking like!!!!

17. you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc.)

hands down probably the defanging of the women characters: chiefly maria, miss doll, and adella/arianna. like, i know WHY it happens (misogyny) but it’s still baffling to me. why are you making them waifus. follow up question is your taste honest to god just that boring, and if so get better soon. they’re so much cooler than that. shut the fuck up. maria is such a complex character and if i see another clown reducing her to some soft maternal wifey because… what, she was compassionate to the research hall patients and felt bad about doing uhhh *checks notes* A Whole Ass Genocide???? i will staple myself to the ceiling. like some folks will do the most absurd mental gymnastics to call a woman in any media maternal for the most basic things 😭. in a similar vein are the people who shit themselves to death trying to claim that she TOTALLY COULD HAVE BEEN a femmey little uwu housewife even though she has a canonical and marked preference for masc presentation, and actually a woman conforming to victorian gender roles and being attracted to men is an EPIC FEMINIST WIN, actually. usually this comes from cis and/or hets who are convinced they are personally oppressed because like 3 queers on tumblr said maria is a butch lesbian. having said that there are so many amazing artists and theorycrafters that when i was trying to link specific posts/art the list was actually a million years long. some people are annoying but MORE people are so cool and thoughtful and creative!!!!! shoutout to nishihii saintadeline butchjolyne and pretty much all the lgbtqs in the mariadeline tag, all of your work is like oxygen to me 💕 yall are amazing :)

it’s the same with miss doll. either their complexity is painted over by making her the butt of those insufferable sex doll jokes or they’re made out to be this pure innocent mommy/housewife. usually this is hand in hand with just blatantly ignoring the misogyny inherent to the dynamic between her, maria, and gerhman and i just have to wonder how anyone manages to so spectacularly miss the point. i wrote a forty page paper on this. needless to say it makes me insane. i’m also a big fan of YOUR theories on the matter for a different yet equally neat perspective :) also i think marble did a post on it but i cannot for my LIFE find it

also i cannot stress enough how lame it is that adella gets reduced to a flat stereotype. they took a violently traumatized woman who was groomed into loathing herself by the catholic blood cult and who desperately clings onto the hunter for showing her justo the most basic decency of not Leaving Her To Die and decided instead of any of that it would be way cooler to water her down into a “yandere”. same can be said for arianna. like istg if they were men ther would be ESSAYS. but then again if they were men their themes would literally not even be half as cool AND they couldn’t be lesbians so i am writing the essays myself. tl;dr i am absolutely OBSESSED with both @/jurasicass and @/undefeatablesin’s portrayals of both these ladies. finally some good fucking adella/hunter/arianna dynamics‼️‼️‼️

[purplalien8]

🎭 ♾️MIRRORBALL by Taylor Swift is about Autistic masking, struggling to keep up with expectations, kissing up to the neurotypicals and it’s AUTISTIIIIIIC 🙌🏻♾️✨ - warning I fell into a very chaotic mood brace yourself

I will order my evidence from most to least evidence (sort of):

🎵I can change everything about me to fit in - Masking

🎵 I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try - MASKING

🎵 I'm still on that trapeze - OMG masking HAAARD

🎵 I'm still tryin' everything to keep you looking at me - MASKING YOUR BUTT OFF FOR SOCIAL APPROVAL u don’t need it Taaay😭

🎵 (For background, don’t @ me) - And they called off the circus, burned the disco down - Disabled people in general were taken to circuses as “freaks” and people would laugh at them. But then they also burned disco, idk maybe they’re just so normal they hate fun😤

🎵When they sent home the horses and the rodeo clowns - YES GO AWAY

🎵I'm still on that tightrope - Nooooo Tay😭😭 She’s still buying into the idea that autistics deserve ridicule because we’re “too dumb” & that we should also try so hard it feels like we’re doing acrobatics in order to MAAAASK

🎵You are not like the regulars - “Wait you’re not ‘normal’ either”??

🎵The masquerade revelers - Love interest is not like the bastard NTs who’d rather see autistics mask💕💕

🎵Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten - Either the mask slips (you accidentally don’t mask something) or she’s just hurt from something & it shows because we can’t lieeeee

🎵I'm still tryin' everything to get you laughing at me - MASKIIING to get love interest’s attention BUT I THOUGHT THEY WERENT LIKE THE MASQUERATE REVELEEERS🥺

🎵And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why - She’s thinking a) Maybe I can’t keep up masking, it doesn’t always works, & I might burn out and/or b) What if I don’t need to mask and I was lied to?🤔

I want you to know

🎵I'm a mirrorball - She masks by MIRRORING PEOPLE, ITS A THING & Discloses her autism like “You know that Normie personality you thought I had? Nope it’s just a conglomeration of everyone I’ve ever seen. I’m not like that at all😤😤”

🎵Hush, when no one is around, my dear - Anxiety over people finding out :( Aw Taaay

🎵 Hush, I know they said the end is near - Neurotypicals saying we can’t ever keep a relationship

🎵 You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes - WALKING ON TIPTOE IS A SIGN OF AUTISM

🎵I'll show you every version of yourself tonight - mirroring/imitating as a coping mechanism for masking

🎵I'll get you out on the floor - aka work my brain so hard to get the social & timing right enough for you to actually follow me even though I’ll get an ACTUAL headache

🎵Shimmering beautiful - masking as a Grill (girl)

🎵And when I break, it's in a million pieces - hypersensitivity & emotional regulation, meltdowns

🎵Hush, I know they said the end is near - people thinking YoU cAn NeVeR kEeP a ReLaTiOnShIp

🎵But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes - unmasking bc she’s being vulnerable??

🎵 Shinin' just for you - NO U DERSERVE IT TOO

🎵 Hush, when no one is around, my dear

🎵 You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes - TIPTOOOOE

🎵 Shinin' just for you - NO TAY, LIVE FOR YOURSELF NOT JUST FOR THEEEEM

🎵 Hush, I know they said the end is near - MAYBE ITS NOT

🎵 But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes - YES GIRL YES

🎵 Spinnin' in my highest heels, love - DO IIIIIT

🎵 Shinin' just for you - N O🔥 you were literally almost there Tay!

🎵 Because I'm a mirrorball - BECAUSE I MASK

🎵 I'm a mirrorball - I MAAAAAAASK

🎵 And I'll show you every version of yourself tonight - I MIRROR IN ORDER TO MASK

🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 *yippeeeeeee*

[thejellybeanboys]

Hi its me again :D and ty for the answer's BTW i didnt mean to overwhelm or hurt Wil-Liam 😰(i was only curious cuz he had hearts in his eyes)

I have a few more questions that i forgot to add in the previous ask but i didn't get to because i was in a hurry lol

Q:

For everybody:

1:what are your biggest fears?

2:Do you have any one for valentines day???(Note:Btw you don't have to answer this one im just curious :>)

3:Worst childhood memories?(Note:You also don't need to answer this one)

4:Fav animal???Why???

5:Whats on your mind?

(NA: LOL it's fine :3 these kids are all emos and embarrassed dummies and its all in their perspective so if these little buggers are mean or acting dumb its not your fault they are teens they are like this, also rest assured that Wil-liam is okay now he's just realized that he totally has a crush lmao) (okay back to the boys)

Luis: "Oh this person again um thanks for the ask. We got another one with multiple so I guess let's do them sequentially."

Codey: "Yeah. um, first one. Oh, Easy, biggest fear is getting forced into a relationship.. even worse if it's with ugh... those misogynistic online guys."

Cecil: "Ahí no, that should be everyone's biggest fear. But um mine is...Oh, this is going to sound really shallow but...being seen as pretty by others if I was...different. Like if one day I woke up to look too different or too... materialistic idk, I'm mostly saying that I like how I look right now and I wanna believe everyone thinks I look good but what if...I looked more up to everyone's standards, then they really didn't like the real me..."

Luis: "Woah..." O.O

Jeremy: "People are dumb if they don't think you're like the prettiest thing ever like how you are now."

Cecil: "...Thank you, Jeremy." (Blushes)

Jeremy: "Oh um... heh...ah, I guess I'll say my fear is...being forced to move in with my even more transphobic aunt."

Mason: "My turn! Two words. Clown. Snakes."

Hoagie: "Mines Getting eaten. Oh come on it's obvious, I'm a snack yes but sometimes not in a good way."

Leroy: "Being a DJ for a famous celebrity but it all goes wrong and my music career tanks forever."

Otty: " Rabbits hating me, wahh I wouldn't make it if those little guys all hated me."

Wil-Liam: "... Getting rejected. And being feared...also other things."

Luis: "Cryptic...But um mine is a monkey attacking me and ripping off my ugly beautiful face, look I...I can handle primates in memes and shows, I just, eh can't do it in real life."

Leroy: "...wait isn't like your uncle a monkey?"

(Second question)

Codey, Leroy, Benny, Mason, Hoagie: "No."

Jeremy: "You see. um...(Just do it man) I WAS HOPING YOU--CECIL COULD be my VALENTINE."

Cecil: "Really?"

Jeremy: "Yeah! Um, its okay if you say no or don't say anything--I mean we could all forget I said anything--"

Cecil: "Sure."

Jeremy: "Yeah?"

Cecil: "Yeah :))"

Jeremy: "Oh...awesome..ha. Um well I'll text you the dets later. Cause were like in a middle of a question."

Cecil: "OFC, hehe. Um thank you for asking me."

Codey: "OH thank gosh."

Luis: "Wow yeah we totally didn't expect that.(sarcasm) But...ugh as for me. I don't think I'm going to give Chris a card this year. I looked but all these cards are crummy and...well it's the 8th and my time is kind of up, so I'll put that plan on hold. Oh well, I guess I'll look through this card that I just found here addressed to me, but I'll see it later."

Wil-Liam: "..."

(Third question)

Codey: "Erm yeah I don't think were okay with sharing trauma rn, look we'll dump out our personal stuff all the time but..."

Luis: "Not really feeling it...Though I'll give a quick one. One day when I was 7 my mom accidentally threw away my vintage ebay bought Webkinz...I cried."

(Fourth question)

Luis: "Easy...DOG. Best answer the only answer."

Wil-Liam: "HEHE it's only a doggy-loving world now!!"

Luis: "That's...acceptable. But everyone else is not allowed to say other animals. I just muted yall,"

Wil-Liam: "Mines are wolves...is that okay?"

(N0t_Wordgirl /command: mute) (Not mute Wolfnoob,exe)

Luis: "HA yeah!"

(last question)

Luis: "We have no thoughts."

Wil-Liam: "Head empty.

Luis: (giggling) Oh wait... I forgo to unmute everyone...eh whatever it's much better like this anyway."

Wil-Liam: (Oh word?)

[synthetic-venus]

Ok, ypur post abou the situation is the most level headed I've seen. Why is everyone taking such hard sides??

Honestly I think most of the drama is made worse by the fans. I feel terrible for both of them never being allowed to move on. Selena has been saying for years to leave Hailey alone, Hailey asked to be left alone, they took a photo together (it was giving pr but still). I really thought it was over.

Selena making that comment on that tiktok was such a big mistake, but I can see how triggering TikTok has been for her. She's been making comments on posts from her fans about how she's not as skinny as she used to be and how her exes preferred models. If she interacts with fans content this is what she gets, this and Hailey/Justin content. I know it happens because it happened to me.

She made a live talking about how the comments about her body were getting to her. Made a video about how she's not as beautiful as Bella Hadid. Proceeded to defend Taylor on that video that seems to have popped up on her fyp, and that triggered a whole unnecessary drama.

There's people saying Selena did nothing wrong (which she made a poorly thought decision its not the end of the world but still a mistake) and calling Hailey a bitch and trying to bully her off social media. FOR WHAT?? like that's so embarrassing, they need to move on. That woman has been getting harassed about this for years, it's clown behavior she's been married for 5 years. Jelena is over people need to move on that's embarrassing.

Then there's people who will pretend that Hailey didn't shade Selena at all. And that she's completely innocent, like pls. Pretending Selena has no reason to be paranoid or upset over Hailey at all. That post she made with Kiley was definitely about Selena, and she's been known to make comments and like content against Selena.

This just seems extra embarrassing because it felt like they were finally moving on and people refused to let it happen, so now it's back to how awful it was 5/7 years ago. They're both 30 fighting for justin bieber of all men.

I'm glad Selena decided to quit tiktok is the best for her. That app is so toxic and it was doing her no good.

Conclusion we should all move on because there's no point to it at all.

Social networks - in particular Tiktok - have certainly added fuel to a fire that has been refusing to go out for years.

I've been noticing some renewed interest in the Selena/Justin/Hailey case for a number of months now, personally my FYP was full of videos discussing the topic even though I wasn't following any of the people connected to this drama, but I have to admit that even I was invested in this whole affair for a while.

I have to say that besides being very entertaining, you can't help but relate to either Hailey or Selena because so many of us have been through similar situations. As you said, the girls both have their share of faults, which is completely human. Unfortunately when you're a celebrity there's not really a lot of room for mistakes.

It's already hard enough to move on when you break up with someone, so I can't even imagine what it must be like for Selena to be constantly reminded by the media of her past relationship. As for Hailey, it can't be easy either to be compared every single day to your husband's ex.

Then again, I think there's also a lot we don't know. All we can really do is speculate about all of of this which for most people is really entertaining. It's always easier to gossip about celebrities than about people you know. You feel less guilty about the things you say because these people seem almost fictional given that they are so far removed from our daily lives.

And I think that with these two there will be a lot more to say because there are clearly still a lot of hard feelings between them, it's clearly it's going to take more than a photo to calm the masses and i'm not sure that the latter wants that so...

[tragicvictoriantears]

✞ To never underestimate the passage of time! ✞

Ferid Bathory X FemReader!

✞ angst.

✞ TW: Ferid is the biggest tw. Mentions of death.

I wish that my first post is for my dear best friend @theorphanprince . I love you, thank you for everything! You are an ocean of inspiration, truly splendid by its own nature, your soul never fails to amaze me! De asemenea, ești o gagică mișto, hai te pup șmecherio!;)

He held her tightly in his arms, too bad it almost hurts so much, as if her skeleton was going to snap - not even the smallest bone would escape from such a lovely well-made trap! Ah, how nice it would pop though! I like to imagine that everything would break to the rhythm of the piano keys, when "Moon Sonata" is sung with pathos — for only the moon can offer beauty to such scenes or even morbid thoughts. Even my terrifying descriptions, in the sunlight, they would become ridiculous. Too much would be seen ( to my shame as an amateur and lazy author )! Ah, alas, I did it again! I distracted you from the real story! I don't think I was made to read children bedtime stories. Lucky for me, this one is for adults — and lucky for you, it’s a short one!

Ferid, Ferid, Ferid and again, Ferid! Ferid Bathory!! Applause for him! To this splendid prince! So charming and mysterious, a good girl’s dream of a bad boy! He is rarely seen without his role as a clown in Shakespeare's plays. But now I would describe him as a protagonist, a sad and old hero, in a tragic love story! Italians shall cry at the table with their pasta and with Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, Ferid. Alas, so long he insists on holding her in his cold arms, as if… as if she was going to turn into sand!! He must — for the sake of his own desperation — catch every strand. Before the tide steals a part of her figure forever, or even before it takes everything away from him. As you can see, we are talking about waves. Waves from great storms, with drowned pirates and hungry mermaids, followed by the cries of orphans as they watch how their father figures never return home.

But who was that wave? Maybe the past that still thinks about haunting, like a bored ghost in the cemetery, fed up with the silence of others. It can't be, it can't be! But wait! Who was he to fight the inevitable?

However, let's see some other possibilities! It must be searched with great patience if you really want to find the answer burning in our throats. What could go wrong for Ferid? Well, many things made him miserable in his life... alas, he lived badly. As both human and vampire. Has he ever kept up with all his misfortunes? I mean, at one point, they kept coming and coming, I’m sure he started to not pay attention to them anymore. Until now… .

I know! I found it! Everyone's feared weapon when they get their hands on something ephemeral: time. Like a little girl who fears that her rose is dying, like a woman who worries that she is getting older. Time takes everything, my dear readers. There is nothing time can’t take. We all have debts. We all owe time. Even when it comes to immortals, time manages to steal a few things. Maybe it doesn't really take everything, there remains a bitterness on this earth - that's why they are immortal. But time, to them, is like a seagull flying towards your food.

Y/n, oh, precious she! It reminded him of the humanity he didn't get to enjoy, but he enjoyed it through her. Sleeping, skin care, needing to go to the bathroom or eat a well-prepared meal. Things that no longer had meaning for him, look, through her, they’ve gotten one! Isn't this a beautiful gift for mortals? To enjoy simple things? I say it's very beautiful and Ferid totally agrees with me. He began to feel alive through her, to get rid of that boredom and that hatred held deep for time, which at one moment seemed to spite him. He didn't need much, really. Although his exterior is as extravagant as can be, I assure you that this bloody nobleman, carries a simple heart in his chest. Like most of us, too.

Here comes the bug. It would be such a shame, if not even terrible, for Ferid to subject y/n to a life like his. Immortality drains you. It's true, you stay young and beautiful, that can be attractive at first. However, let's not jump into such a dangerous offer, just… just look at the price! Internal rot is not worth it!! You will begin to have serious breakdowns from not being able to identify yourself properly. The best advice is to not dare become immune to time and death, you pay dearly! Ah, ... but Ferid never wanted to pay dearly, to have eternal beauty and youth — he was so small and unhappy from the beginning. His childhood was so bad, I swear, you could say he had already tasted immortality, right from the start! But enough, that's enough! I better stop with these descriptions. Everyone will be very sad if I continue! And Ferid is tired of being stuck in those memories anyway, that's why he adored his lover. With her, he is slowly moving on like a mortal, over all those terrible episodes. To live in the present! It is something, as a vampire, to be able to enjoy the present once in a while. Without thinking about the expensive payment… .

Wait! He realizes that he may be paying right now! It sounds crazy but it's completely normal for somebody like him to experience this! Just as we are surprised that a bitter week has passed like lightning, for them it is years, decades—centuries! Oh my! It is natural for him to think that at this moment, it’s happening, again! Maybe if he stops the hug, oblivious to the passing of minutes and hours, he'll wake up with Y/N ​​already dead. Oh, sweet Juliet, held all her life in the arms of a terrible bastard! We shall cry rivers together, for her tormented soul!

And with an extraordinarily agitated movement, he breaks the loving embrace to gaze in horror at her face. His eyes and hands were shaking terribly, if he wasn't a vampire, I would dare say his forehead was also sweating from the whirlwind of emotions.

And if he wasn’t a vampire, I would also dare to say that he breathed a sigh of relief. That horrific image didn't happen.

,, You act like you are cutting your first tree! What have gotten into you again? Who holds the sword over your head? " she decides to tease him innocently, the goal being obviously to calm him down. Ferid of course doing the same at the times when y/n is tense.

“I'm afraid the sword is pointed at you, my dove. "

,, Although I like to see that you are capable of concern, I would prefer that you no longer have any reason when it comes to me. " her hands reach for his neck, looking at him with curious eyes, eager to discover more. What a beautiful and confident smile she has! Ferid, maybe out of embarrassment, looks away, a gesture that makes y/n giggle.

"This is hard! You know it too! I’m not ready to let you go. Not now… maybe not ever! " and his face gets scrunched up. The opposite cheek is poked by her finger, specifically to turn his gaze and look at her straight in the eyes.

" But you are ready. You don’t need to be dependent on me! “

“ Maybe… I need to. I don’t know any other way to live! “ delicately, he ends up holding her face in his still shaking hands.

“ Ferid, blink now, I promise I'm not going anywhere." her hand touches his cheek as she makes him do this calming exercise again. So he closes them, relishing the warmth of her skin against his, his glacier cheek.

He opens them. The waves are calmer, although there is still a little wind. In front is a sandcastle knocked down by the water, and her hand is gone. It's quiet, no sign of any playful giggles. She died decades ago.

This is what happens when you underestimate the passage of time.

[gimme-mor]

ACOTAR THINK PIECE: ELAIN ARCHERON, UNTOUCHABLE

*DISCLAIMER*

This will be a long post.

Please take the time to read this post in its entirety and truly reflect on the message I am trying to send before commenting. My goal is to use my background in Gender and Women’s Studies to deconstruct the comments I have seen on Tumblr and Twitter and bring awareness to the ACOTAR fandom.

The reason I am tagging “Elriel” in this post is to call attention to the arguments in the Elriel fandom that: weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions about Elain’s character and her relationship with Lucien; victimize Elain’s character in fandom discussions; and coddle Elain’s character, which limits fandom discussions about her narrative development and prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions in the same way that the fandom holds other characters accountable for their actions and inactions. It is for these reasons that I WILL NOT remove the “Elriel” tag from this post because all of the above points contribute to the toxic discourse surrounding Elain’s character.

I urge those who use these arguments to understand their implications, why they are problematic, regardless of intent, and reexamine their contributions to the ACOTAR fandom. I WILL NOT tolerate anyone who tries to twist my words and say I am attacking people and their personal shipping preferences. In fact, I AM CRITIQUING THE ARGUMENTS THEMSELVES NOT THE PEOPLE USING THE ARGUMENTS.

Also, I highly encourage the Elriel fandom to read this post because it addresses how the concept of choice as an argument enables arguments to exploit social justice and feminist languge in order to vilify Elucien shippers, among other problematic things.

Elain Archeron is one of the most polarizing characters in the ACOTAR fandom. Though opinions about Elain vary, arguments in the Elriel fandom cite society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters as the reason behind the hate, and this belief is used to provide an explanation as to why other characters in the series are favored over her. In the series, Elain is portrayed in a wholly positive light and this image carries over into the Elriel fandom, painting her character as a good and kind female who has been unfairly wronged and a victim of circumstances that were out of her control. When arguments in the Elriel fandom oppose other viewpoints in the fandom, they fall into one of three categories:

Category 1: Weaponize Elain’s femalehood to shame real life people for their opinions

Maybe people who hate Elain are just jealous of her in a weird way similar to when someone hates the pretty, nice, and charming girl in school just because she is too perfect

Disliking Elain is misogynistic

What happened to feminism? What happened to women supporting women? What happened to she can say no? All of that disappears the second you force Elain to be with Lucien

Elain antis are misogynistic

All Eluciens are Elain antis

Antis claiming they’re feminists when in reality they hate on Elain and Feyre but love Nesta

Elain antis are such sore losers. Y’all were that bunch of people who could not get over being rejected from hanging out with the cool kids so y’all are projecting your hatred towards pretty people now to get validation

I don’t get how Elain’s love for gardening equals boring for some people. I’m sorry your misogyny finds traditionally feminine activities boring

Why are you attacking a female? What did Elain do? Where are your feminist voices?

The fandom is misogynistic towards Elain

If people loved Elain they would ship Elriel

If you hate Elain it says a lot about your feelings toward women

If you hate Elain because she has no “development” then you must hate Azriel because otherwise you’re misogynistic

Eluciens are turned off by the idea of a woman that has the autonomy to reject a man for the simple reason that it is her choice

Eluciens are all about feminism and “it’s HER choice” until it comes down to females not wanting a male

Eluciens don’t respect Elain’s feelings when they ship her with someone that was part of her trauma and makes her feel uncomfortable

The way some Elucien shippers completely disregard how uncomfortable Elain is around Lucien is so hilariously not funny. Prioritizing being mates over Elain’s feelings is just regressive

It’s hard as a fan of Elain to see someone ship her with a person who makes her physically uncomfortable to be around. Wouldn’t you want both characters to be happy to be around each other

Imagine if SJM saw all the awful things her “stans” had to say about Elain

It’s true that we know comparatively little about her, but is she really boring or do you just not value stereotypically feminine traits?

So y’all are just gonna tell me you prefer Elucien over Elriel? Even though Lucien treats Elain as if she’s something that belongs to him? The only reason he wants to be with her is because she’s his mate, he doesn’t respect her, doesn’t treat her as his equal, even though that’s what mates should be? He doesn’t bother to look past what’s on the outside to see her for who she is. And Elain is obviously repulsed by the idea that she should belong to anyone or have no choice in who she can be with. Azriel is her friend and the only person who sees her quiet strength. He has so much faith in her, in her abilities; he’s the one who kept her company when no one else did, he’s the only one who bothered to see her for more than her brokenness. You’re going to tell me you still prefer Elucien over Elriel?

The more I see Gwynriels that ship Elucien out of their hate for Elain, the less I can understand Elain stans that ship Elucien. Pls Elain has made it very clear that she doesn’t want Lucien, why would you ship her with him? Do you hate her too? Smh

The real question would be, if you care and understand Elain why would you ship her with Lucien (where she canonically shrinks when he is near)?

People crying over Helion and Lucien’s mom not getting to be with each other and her being forced into a relationship she didn’t want, but also ship Elucien? Just say you hate Elain

When Elain’s book is out, Gwyn stans will look like clowns and I will laugh because they set her up by shipping her with Azriel just because they hate Elain. Watch them play the victims now because Elriels are clapping back the hate they’ve sent towards Elain

As romantic as wanting girl who is visibly uncomfortable around a guy who caused her trauma to end up with the said guy. Guess their standards for romance are in hell

Category 2: Victimize Elain’s character

Gwynriels only want Gwyn with Azriel because they despise Elain

Gwyn stans and Gwynriels are Elain antis

No one in the books dislike Elain, so why are there so many people who do?

Elain hasn’t done anything wrong or questionable to warrant the hate she gets

Not having Elain’s POV makes it easy for people to be swayed a certain way about her character if you already don’t relate to her in some way

It’s been years since this series came out and we haven’t gotten a lick of an Elain POV, but people still hate her for what? We don’t know her thoughts, dreams, or aspirations

We haven’t even had Elain’s perspective yet and people are passing these judgments off on her

Elain antis who say she’s boring are just cruel when she has obvious symptoms of PTSD like Feyre and Nesta

Gwyn is one of the most overhyped characters and that’s only because most people hate Elain and they couldn’t wait to find a random girl to ship Azriel with

Nesta was abusive to her sisters but Elain (who has only ever been kind) is painted as the villain

From the text we know that Elain is the epitome of feminine stereotypes (gentle, gardening, baking, non confrontational for the most part). Yet people still call her boring or deny that she has any interesting character traits?

You can’t love Nesta and hate Elain

People hate Elain because of internalized misogyny and lack of taste. All the girl does is tend to her garden and mind her business and they treat her worse than Tamlin

Does Gwyn deserve all this support? Of course yes! She is amazing! But where’s that support when Elain was in the same situation as she? Where’s that support for her right now? Why do they idolize Gwyn for her interactions with Azriel and hate Elain for having any interaction with him?

It’s not even a ship war anymore, they just hate Elain

People hate Elain for no reason

Some of y’all don’t like feminine traits and it shows

We know less about Eris and Helion but people don’t call them boring. Why would rejecting femininity make Elain more interesting?

Elain has had a lot forced upon her

The main reason I believe most people love Gwyn so much is to get Azriel away from Elain. It’s not a secret that Elain has been a widely hated character for years so suddenly we get a new female who has a minimal amount of interactions with Azriel and BOOM. New ship that once again doesn’t make sense (just like Azriel x Emerie after ACOFAS)

Elain hasn’t done something so terrible for her to get this hate. At this point some of you are just being misogynistic and you don’t want to accept it. Don’t call yourselves feminists and then say bs like this, it’s embarrassing. She’s pretty and everyone agreed to hate on her

Just a personal feeling, but I feel like a lot of the Elain hate stems from internalized misogyny. That to be a strong female lead, you need to pick up a sword and fight. That to be strong, you need to adapt traditionally masculine traits

Elain is feminine. She is beautiful. She loves to bake and garden. She is docile, quiet, observant, and a people-pleaser. All traditionally feminine traits. Yet for some reason, she’s like the worst in these people’s eyes?

I think also maybe a lot of people can’t relate to her femininity? That her being so beautiful and quiet doesn’t allow for the people who dislike her not to self-insert? Most of the hate stems from people not wanting Elain to be with Azriel. It’s mean, but maybe the people who hate Elain literally just can’t self-insert if they have a story and that’s why they’re vehemently against it?

Poor Elain. The Cauldron dealt her a bad deal. Upon emerging as Fae, she is immediately declared by Lucien as his mate, never mind that she was already engaged to a prick. Her love life is not good

It blows my mind how they really think that they can compare all the shit that Elain gets with some dumb jokes about Gwyn on Twitter (and yes, the “hate” towards her started mostly because Elriels are clapping back, it was bound to happen)

I would think of it as anti-feminist with Elain and Lucien because she has consistently stated that she does not want him so if she was forced to embrace the bond that would be taking away her right to have a choice but with Az she feels comfortable around so if they were mates then Elain would be happy and feel safe which again should be the priority for women to feel safe in their relationships with anything and to not be forced into any type of situation aka the mating bond in this

Category 3: Coddle Elain’s character

Elain has value the way she is, in all her domestic girly glory. Not every character has to be badass

We don’t speak of Elain’s flaws frequently because everyone else already speaks badly of her, mainly in an unfair way

There is definitely something deeper going on with Elain but by no means will she ever be evil or any less feminine. That goes against everything we already know about her

It’s ok to critique Elain because she needs growth but y’all keep forgetting the shit her and her sisters went through

The last “bad” thing Elain did in ACOTAR was not help Feyre when they were impoverished and I’m tired of people acting like she’s a terrible character when it was their father’s responsibility. It happened 4 books ago and Feyre has forgiven both Nesta and Elain

Elain’s character and the evil Elain theory are a great example of the trend where people only consider female characters interesting if they reject femininity

We don’t know enough to hate Elain

Many people want Elain to turn evil (which in my opinion seems to come from a place of internalized misogyny)

However we don’t tend to talk about her faults, at least not publicly, as that has been, and still is, done to death, and I--personally, at least--find it much more fun to theorise about potentially interesting aspects of the overall plot, than dwell on negatives

And ultimately, I would be shocked if Elain has a more karmically-charged story than Nesta, considering that Elain’s “wrongs” are so much less severe and bad than Nesta’s, and Elain has already apologized for them (or paid the price in other ways, like through what Graysen did)

I guess I also think Elain has suffered and been punished enough. I hope her story is about finding hope in terrible situations, and learning to love her new life, and choosing her own path after everything that has been done to her. I don’t think she needs to be punished anymore or face any additional trauma

Also, why is she being judged on her decisions as a human at all? Fae are monsters to humans! They enslaved them for thousands of years, and the Wall was erected to keep them out

Like I’m sorry, but think Elain would want to leave her ONLY FAMILY AND FRIENDS for the Spring Court where she has no one because--oh look, lots of flowers!--is the craziest thing I have ever heard

Her sisters are in the Night Court. Her nephew is in the Night Court. Her closest friends (Nuala and Cerridwen) are in the Night Court. Her love interest is in the Night Court. Her extended family is in the Night Court. Her home is in the Night Court

SJM isn’t going to keep two sisters together and split up the third. Especially not keep Feyre and Nesta together and separate Elain. They were either all going to end up in separate places, or together. Not 2 here and 1 there

Compared to the other female characters in the series, Elain is the only character whose femalehood is at the center of conversations; this is because arguments in the Elriel fandom fixate on it when discussing her character. While Elain, Feyre, Nesta, and Mor are all representations of white womanhood and white beauty, Elain epitomizes the most fragile version of white womanhood. It’s easy to blame society’s perception of traditional female characters in comparison to non-traditional female characters when it comes to the discourse surrounding Elain’s character because it: falls in line with the fixation on Elain’s femalehood to silence opposing viewpoints; is a simplistic explanation that fails to tackle the underlying issues with Elain as a character, the same issues that are downplayed in-universe; absolves Elain of her wrongdoings; prevents the ACOTAR fandom from holding Elain accountable for her actions and inactions within the series; and diminishes the impact Elain’s actions and inactions have on those around her. It’s not that Elain is hated in the fandom because she’s a traditional female character; it’s the fact that arguments in the Elriel fandom deflect a critical analysis of Elain’s character because she’s a traditional female character who embodies the ideal white woman in need of protection. White fans and white-aligned fans of color, especially white women, have a tendency to vehemently defend, gatekeep, and coddle white female characters in fandom; this makes it difficult for other fans to engage in critical discussions about these white female characters because they’re viewed as flawless and all around perfect characters despite evidence to the contrary. Since Elain is viewed positively by the other characters in the series, it has rendered her character untouchable to any perceived slight or criticism in fandom discussions because those negative opinions challenge what has been said about her character thus far. And as a result, her character has been placed on a pedestal and implicitly hailed as the epitome of white womanhood; and when she’s criticized, it’s seen as a direct attack against white womanhood. Arguments in the Elriel fandom: exploit feminist language and perpetuate white feminist tactics under the guise of defending Elain’s character; center Elain in conversations about female oppression in the ACOTAR world and uphold white feminist ideologies in their critique of ACOTAR’s patriarchal society; and use the fragile white woman narrative to victimize Elain in Lucien’s presence, playing into racial biases that are associated with white supremacy’s defense of white womanhood.

Feminism is a social movement that seeks to promote equality and equity to all genders, and feminists work toward eradicating gender disparities on a macro-level, in addition to challenging gender biases on a micro-level. As feminism became more mainstream, a flat and oversimplified version of feminism emerged: mainstream feminism. The mainstream feminist movement is meant to represent all women, but rarely does it center conversations around issues that concern most women. The problem with mainstream feminism is that it’s just a popularized version of white feminism. White feminism has relied extensively on an individualized understanding of women’s oppression, exclusively from the lens of privileged white women. White feminism only focuses on the oppression experienced by white, able-bodied, affluent, educated, cishet women; and it views gender as the key mode of privileged white women’s oppression, isolated from the privileges granted by their other social identities. White women can be and are oppressed under the patriarchy but only because they are women; their identity as women does not exempt them from the privileges granted by their whiteness. The term white feminist does not mean any feminist who is white, but refers to feminists who prioritize the concerns of privileged white women as though they are representative of all women. However, the term is not exclusive to white people. Because white feminism is so pervasive, people of other racial and ethnic backgrounds often buy into white feminism, believing that if they work hard enough, they may be able to reap its rewards.

Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism only recognizes the identity of being a woman, assumes that all women share common experiences of gender oppression, fails to address other social identities in relation to overlapping systems of oppression, and disregards privilege in relation to various social identities. Just like white feminism, mainstream feminism is palatable because it doesn’t seek to challenge the systems in place, instead its goal is to succeed within them. Essentially, mainstream feminism and white feminism are extensions of performative feminism. Performative feminism is a type of performative activism that’s used to describe feminist views that are surface level and solely for the benefit of one type of person. It’s a pretense which often has nothing to do with genuine activism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom normalize and promote performative feminism because the topic of feminism is only referenced when discussing Elain. This indicates that these arguments are engaging in disingenuous discourse to push a personal agenda within the ACOTAR fandom, and it becomes more apparent when they use white feminist tactics to shut down opposing viewpoints:

White feminists weaponize and exploit feminist language to silence the opinions of other women, especially when they’re called out for their problematic behaviors

White feminists use the phrase “Women supporting women” to defend other white feminists who exhibit problematic behaviors instead of holding them accountable 

White feminists weaponize phrases like “Women supporting women” and “You just hate women” to attack other women who disagree with them on any given topic

White feminists use phrases like “All women face challenges” and “Stop pitting women against each other” to sidestep conversations about privilege

White feminists divert conversations away from privilege and towards the Trauma Olympics to equate their struggles to the oppression of marginalized people 

White feminists skirt around the realities of other forms of oppression and discrimination, downplaying the experiences of marginalized people

White feminists diminish or ignore the ways in which gender oppression affects other marginalized people

White feminists paint those they harmed as aggressive, mean, or divisive when confronted with the ways they have harmed a marginalized group

White feminists deflect criticism by focusing on the anger or emotions being expressed rather than the issue that is being discussed, invalidating the concerns of marginalized people

White feminists speak over marginalized voices in an attempt to sound “woke”

White feminists get defensive and insist there’s no way they could be a part of the problem because of what they’ve done to help marginalized groups already 

White feminists say they don’t see color in an attempt to obscure racial issues that need to be addressed

White feminists center and victimize themselves in conversations about racism, which derails necessary conversations from taking place

White feminists who are white weaponize the intersectionality of their race and gender to avoid accountability

Feminism is not meant to be approached from an individualistic perspective nor is it only about addressing the experiences of privileged white women, it involves addressing the intersections of race, class, gender, sexuality, (dis)ability, and other social identities as well; and it involves addressing how these social identities relate to privilege. Moreover, feminism is not about women upholding complete loyalty to other women because of a shared gender identity, and to claim that it does implies that women should be held to different emotional standards than men. If men are able to dislike and criticize other individual men, real or fictional, without their characters being compromised, why aren’t women granted that same privilege?

It’s clear that SJM set up the ACOTAR world to mirror a patriarchal society, and that the imbalance of power between males and females stems from sexism. Arguments in the Elriel fandom analyze the ACOTAR world through a feminist lens to show how ACOTAR’s patriarchal society, to which the mating bond is innately tied, contributes to female oppression and limits their agency. When choice and free will are emphasized as part of Elain’s arc, they imply that Elain, through the mating bond, experiences female oppression under ACOTAR’s patriarchal society because of her identity as a female with that identity being the focal point of her oppression in the world. Elain is one of the most privileged characters in the ACOTAR world: she’s High Fae; she’s the sister of the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, which gives her access to wealth and political influence because of that connection; she’s able-bodied; she was magically blessed by the Cauldron; and she lives in Velaris, a place that grants females autonomy and power because of the beliefs of Rhysand and Feyre. Arguments in the Elriel fandom trivialize female oppression in the ACOTAR world because they disregard the fact that Elain’s privileges prevent her from experiencing female oppression in the same way that other marginalized females in the world do. The mating bond being one such example because those around Elain are not forcing the bond on her, instead they’re allowing Elain to reach a decision about the bond for herself; a privilege that other marginalized females in the world probably wouldn’t have. Just because Elain has endured hardships in her life and is a female in a patriarchal society, they do not erase the privileges she holds within the ACOTAR world. The failure to include Elain’s privileges in discussions about Elain being a female in a patriarchal society feeds into white feminist ideologies because white feminism operates from a very narrow perspective; it doesn’t take other intersecting identities into account when it examines gender oppression, leaving no room for discussions about privilege (or lack thereof) in relation to those intersecting identities. When discussing oppression in hierarchical societies, it’s imperative that privilege is also included in the conversation because privilege and oppression are not mutually exclusive; they equally affect the ways in which people navigate those societies through their social identities.

Rather than attributing Elain’s uncomfortability to her new life as a Fae female or the mating bond itself and her trauma to the Cauldron, the King of Hybern, or Ianthe, they’re placed on Lucien to cast his character in a negative light. Moreover, fandom discussions portray Lucien as a possessive character to further emphasize Elain’s discomfort despite the inaccuracy of this characterization in canon. Arguments in the Elriel fandom play into racial biases when it comes to Lucien (a male character of color) because they mischaracterize his character in order to victimize Elain (a white female character), placing her character in the role of the white damsel in distress. In Western society, the concept of womanhood has been conceptualized from a Eurocentric perspective with femininity and feminine attributes favoring white women. It’s the idea that a certain type of femininity is only inherent to white women as they are seen as the embodiment of an ideal womanhood. White womanhood has been a symbol of innocence and purity, and white women have been viewed as fragile beings in need of protection. The reason white womanhood functions within white supremacy is because it’s the same idea that has motivated white men to kill and beat black and brown men. The so-called protection of white women has been used as a justification for the horrific violence committed by white men because black and brown men were stereotyped as aggressive and seen as a threat to the virtue of white women. The white damsel in distress trope considered white women as worthy of protection because of their perceived innocence and purity; women of color were not granted that same treatment because they did not fit into the ideal image of womanhood. Over the years, this trope became a means for white women to exercise limited power in a patriarchal society with white women weaponizing their status as the damsel much to the detriment of black and brown men. It’s through the white damsel in distress trope that white supremacy sustains its dominance in Western society. The misrepresentation of characters of color in fandom, the dismissal of their importance to the overall story, and using them as tools in arguments centered around white characters are the foundation of fandom racism; they’re examples of how racism moves silently in fandom spaces. Instead of examining their behavior and taking constructive criticism from fans of color, white fans will often double down on their bigotry and center their uncomfortability in the conversation when confronted with their complicity in fandom racism. White fans expect fans of color to swallow fandom racism in its many forms in order to not ruin the experience of fandom, dismissing the fact that racism is prevalent in nearly every aspect of society. This mentality ensures that no one is held accountable for the harm they caused and alienates fans of color in fandom spaces.

To reiterate what I mentioned in my first think piece: terms like “oppression”, “the right to choose”, “feminist”, “feminism”, “anti-feminist”, “anti-feminism”, “internalized misogyny”, “misogyny”, “misogynist”, “sexist”, “sexism”, “racist”, “racism”, “classist”, “classism”, “discrimination”, and “patriarchy” are all used in specific ways to draw attention to the plight of marginalized people and challenge those who deny the existence of systems of oppression. Yet these words and their meanings can be twisted to attack, exclude, and invalidate people with differing opinions on any given topic. When social justice and feminist terms are thrown around antagonistically and carelessly to push a personal agenda, it becomes clear that these terms are being used to engage in disingenuous discourse and pursue personal validation rather than being used out of any deep-seated conviction to dismantle systemic oppression. Being an ally, activist, or feminist is not an identity, it’s a practice. It requires: ongoing self-reflection; holding ourselves accountable; listening to marginalized people; educating ourselves; dismantling implicit biases; challenging those around us who are exhibiting problematic behaviors; and action behind our words.

It’s important to be aware of the language that is used within the fandom when defending or critiquing characters and ships. It’s also important to question how an argument is framed and why it’s framed the way that it is to critically examine the intent behind that argument: is it used as a tool to push a personal agenda that reinforces problematic behaviors, or is it used as an opportunity to share, learn, enlighten, and educate?

-----------

Tagging: @spell-cleavers @bookofmirth @m0bulidae @ilya-boltagon

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[internal-orchids]

I got some tasty THH headcanons from the oven if you wanna look

-Sayaka: Transfemme Polyamourous Pansexual (she/doll). She has perfect pitch! I also feel like she is really fascinated by fancy knifes cuz why not. Has a collection of em. Oh, but she has had those little plushies youtubers have of her band and owns plushies of the rest of her band. She’ll do your make-up and nails and hair and say you look amazing and kiss your nose! Her favorite animals are chinchillas. She’ll get mad when you don’t take care of yourself. She totally stims by playing with her hair mhmhmhm I’d play with her hair if I were her. She loves the smell of citrus, cinnamon, and berries! She lights scented candles all the time. -Leon: Transmasc Polyamourous Bisexual (he/they/strum/explo). He needs to walk around a lot. He gets really, really restless. Stims by singing? Sure why not. He 100% has volume issues. His older brother gave him his first guitar, and most of his cool punk jewelry. His hair is dyed. He pierced his own tongue. Chaotic mans, truly. I feel like he wolud really like Panic! At the Disco? He just has the vibes. Also a lot of eighties stuff. His favorite musical is either Rent or Heathers. He bites ice cream, and drinks sparkling water. Self-proclaimed gremlin man. WAIT I FORGOT MOTHER MOTHER. He listens to Mother Mother. He plays FNaF for the lore but will never admit it mostly cuz he sucks at it. Hates clowns cuz he watched Popee the Performer as a child and it fucked him up. -Chihiro: Genderqueer Pansexual (literally anything except it/its). They are actually really chill person! Once they become more comfortable with who they are, they really come out of their shell and make new friends. In addition to their programming, they also have learned 3-D modeling. I feel like they’d have a cat but be unable to let it in their room cuz it wants to snuggle. Well but what if they made a tiny keyboard for it so it can lay on that while they work. That works. They like making jewellery, and make those rainbow loom bracelets colour coded to their friends. They have a polaroid camera and take pictures of their friends. They even have a scrapbook! Sayaka helps them with it. They play Cookie Run for the character designs. -Mondo: Transmasc bisexual abrosexual (he/him). He can sew and do embroidery. He has to tell himself that it’s very very masculine while he does it, though. He spends way too much on hair products. Occasionally he uses super glue mixed with water in a spray bottle. He’s really nice to kids, and makes sure they are always safe! Yes, that means threatening assholes. I feel like he would stand in front of pet stores for fucking hours. No, mans volunteers at shelters. He swears a lot but they keep him on because he’s so good with the pets. He will get you on a motorcycle. It will happen. You can’t disagree with him. He has a tomodatchi that he’s had since he was like five. -Kiyotaka: Bigender (Male and Agender) demihomoromantic (any pronouns he doesn’t care). He can knit. It helps him calm down and stuff. Yeah. He’s actually…kinda boring? He has so many identity issues. Who even is he? He’s stubborn, y’know. Oh! I know. He’s actually just really awkward around people. He knows lots of little fun facts. If you give him enough time he’ll tell you all about any given topic you want! He just never gets time to talk to people. Let him interact! His favorite book is 1984 by George Orwell and it scares the hell out of everyone because he talks about how well the society runs. -Kiyondo: Non-binary (possibly polyamourous) pansexual (they/it/flame/match). They can sew! They like sewing. They can also imitate anyone that they hear cuz they get really really bored. That’s actually why a lot of they exist? They also like arson. Well, not arson. Just fire. Yeah. They like dressing up in either fabulous beautiful outfits, or greasy little mole outfits, no inbetween. They also bite people a lot, and get into a lot of fights. It’s ok though, they’re good at dodging. They think they are the hottest, most seductive person in any given room, but they flirt like a bad A.I. and never wash their hair so up to you. They are friends with Chihiro on Cookie Run but they mostly just fucking grind. -Hifumi: Cisgender aroace (he/her/they) HE IS FUCKING RICH. He doesn’t actually like buying physical thing UNLESS it’s like…a cosplay or figurine. He reads everything online, but he does commissions all the time and once he gets to Hope’s Peak he’s in really high demand, so he can charge a fucking premium. He’s suprisingly good at buisness. He is also a closeted furry, though he hasn’t made himself a fursuit yet. He makes other people fursuits, though. He honestly loves making costumes. He will join a discord group, he’ll love it and comsume his entire life, it will die, he’ll be crushed, and then the cycle starts again. He needs more IRL friends. -Celestia: Transfemme Lesbian (she/fleur/hush) I hate her but I love her and want to kiss her. She has a whole fuckton of peircings, and she’s got one of those chains that goes from her ear to her nose. She wear way too much make up too. Fuck it give her black lipstick. She tried to wear fishnets, but they messed up her legs and she doen’t like them. She wears those funky bell earrings so Grand Cherie Bois can play with them when he sits on her lap. She will never wear anything that’s not completely elegant, though she has a soft spot for fuzzy cat slippers. She kinda hates being her persona all the time. It’s fiiine though.

[alreadyblondenow]

Easy come, easy go

“I’m saying, we’re not going to be okay when we’re apart. I’m not sure if I could give the same efforts you’re about to offer in the future,”

Pairing: Jeno x female!reader Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, ANGST. Enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, summer love WC: 3,038k Warnings: female reader wears lipstick, jeno putting on lipstick to you, swearing, mentions of parties and one beer, but no alcohol consumption, high school graduates so it the summer before college starts. Unprotected sex, mentions of making out, breakup, couch sex, mentions of other idols.  A/N: I’m in a jeno mood for days already now ughs

It all started this summer, where your cousin Haechan introduced you to some of his friends to somehow help you make new friends over the summer. Having new friends is nice of course, who wouldn't want that. But meeting Lee Jeno and being nice to him was the worst decision you made so far. He was annoying, rude, has poor eyesight and seriously you don't understand why girls go crazy over him. It's like he is this walking nightmare the whole summer that you try to avoid at all costs but you just can't because he and Haechan are best friends.

"The guy likes you. Jeno is not usually "rude" to girls, in fact, he's good with girls. So just have more patience with him," Haechan explains after you rant your heart out during a house party. "Fix your lipstick its smudge- I'll go get you a beer, wait here" and so you did, you took out your phone and your lipstick, trying to re-apply it under the dim lights and neon lights, then suddenly someone bumped your shoulder so hard and spilled their drink on your thin blouse.

It was Jeno. And instead of saying sorry he let out a small laugh and pretended that he didn't do it on purpose. "You look like a clown- uh, your lips... here let me get that for you-"

"Fuck you. Don't touch me," you said sternly and walked away. Leaving Jeno completely speechless and worried because he really did fucked up this time.

You looked for the nearest bathroom and wash away the beer from your blouse but it's useless. The beer stained already it's so obvious, not to mention your face is a mess and Jeno was right you look like a clown because you didn't notice you put on too much lipstick earlier. "Fuck" you murmured and got a tissue to wipe away your ruined makeup.

"Y/n, it's Jeno uhm... Can you please open the door so we could talk, and I could apologize sincerely" he rests his head on the door while holding on to the knob, waiting for you to open it. Thankfully, you did but not because you're being soft this time, you only opened the door because sooner or later you have to deal with him and you rather talk to him in private.

"What?" you asked without meeting his eyes and trying to re-apply your lipstick again but this time you're sure you'll get it right.

"I really didn't mean it earlier. I have poor eyesight and as you can see I don't have glasses right now, so that's why... I'm really sorry." he explained, short but you know it's the truth. He wouldn't come and find you if he didn't want to apologize.

"Apology accepted," you leaned on the mirror and continue to what you're doing but to your surprise, he came closer, grabbed you by the waist gently, and took the lipstick out of your hand.

"Turn towards me," you do as you're told, he then lifted your head, and then you watch him put a little pigment on his middle finger, just enough for your lips and just how you like it. Is he really this good with girls that he even knew how to apply lipstick? "Part you lips," he requests.

But it was a request that made the atmosphere a little warmer and it both made your hearts beat so fast.

Gently then he dabs his finger lightly on your lips, carefully putting enough color into it and careful not to ruin it again for the second time. And when he's done, you simply locked eyes and that's when you saw that he does like you.

Then he kissed you and stopped the world for you. Everything turned silent even though the party music outside the bathroom was blaring and everyone seems to be shouting. It was a quick kiss but it felt so good and right at the same time that Jeno asked for more and wanted to deepen the kiss but you stopped him.

"Okay okay. I understand now," you giggle and erased the pigment on his lips with your thumb. "Let's take it slow," you said and smiled at him but the man who's smiling so big in front of you reached out for the doorknob and locked it. You would be lying if you say you don't want him to kiss you again.

A few days after the kiss, Jeno didn't stop teasing you in front of his friends but it got lessen. A few days later, the little crush grew and grew until Jeno decided he really wanted to try and make things work with you. He can be so annoying to the point that you wanted to punch him, but you know that he's serious when it comes to his feelings. Jeno can be a real asshole sometimes, but the man knew how to make you happy and smile privately.

After the first month of summer, you and Jeno had the time of your lives and spend your precious time together privately. Night swimming in his house, sneaking out to make out during parties with friends, you visiting him during his work and wait for him until its closing time. The first month was beautiful and you didn't expect you would have a great time with someone you used to hate. Even though you hide what relationship you have from everyone, you and Jeno love the privacy and to be honest you don't care if he doesn't flex you to everyone. The man loves you and that's what's important.

“Welcome, beautiful”

Jeno said with a big and teasing smile as you enter the coffee shop his family owns and where he usually works whenever he’s free. “You here to see me? I knew it, you always had a crush on me” he teases further.

“No dumbass, I’m here to buy Haechan a cake,” you said, scanning the displayed cakes and avoiding to look at Jeno’s handsome smile. “I’ll take the birthday cake, and three candles please”

You watch Jeno put the cake and secure it in a box, with the three candles as requested. Giving it to you before he accepts your payment, "You're really not here for me? While I think about you every second of the day?" he pouts and crossed his arms.

"Oh you're annoying, see you tonight" you rolled your eyes but left a smile before you leave him.

Tonight is Haechan's birthday and everyone at home was busy preparing for the party including you. It's a sleepover, only Haechan's closest friends and a few family members were invited that's why you're lucky you get to sleep with Jeno tonight, you just have to plan out how you can sneak out without the others seeing you.

As the party started and guests started arriving, you and Jeno barely talked to each other because you were busy talking to your relatives. But he never let you out of his sight, he was watching you from afar and listing the names of the guys who talk to you tonight in his head. And when all family members came home and everyone who stayed are all drunk and sleeping, you went downstairs to where Jeno is sleeping and brought him a pillow and a blanket.

"Thought you forgot about me already, hi" he waited for you on the couch while he's laying comfortably there with all the lights turned off and only the light from the swimming pool illuminates the room.

"Don't you want to sleep somewhere comfortable?" you whisper and sat on top of him, legs on both of his sides.

"Now that you're on top of me, this is my definition of comfort" he smiled so sweetly and reached for your face to cup it and kiss you. "Let's sleep here tonight," he whispered and pulled your body closer to him. Lips moving, tongue swirling on each other while your hands are intertwined. Letting yourselves enjoy this quiet night for this busy day kept you both apart from each other for so long.

"Jaemin was too friendly with you earlier,"

"I didn't notice- wait, you were watching me the whole time?" you whispered back.

"Of course I'm watching you,"

"Well if we go out in public he wouldn't be so clueless, and you wouldn't end up hating your friend"

"I like the privacy we have. Plus do you realize how much teasing we'd get from Haechan?" you agreed to him and placed your head on top of his chest to listen to his heartbeat. "You know when I first saw you my heart beat so fast that I ended up being rude to you instead of acting cute," you feel the vibrations of his giggle and hear him well. It was just a few words, a sincere gesture and, a little honesty but it made you feel something deep inside that made you confess your love to him.

"I love you. I know it's too early to say it, but there I said. I love you," you hide your face on the side of his neck and feel him soothe your back.

"I was planning to say it first, that's not fair. But, me too. I love you too." he searched for your eyes and flashed a handsome smile at you. Tracing your lips as he remembers the first night he kissed you for the first time. Then you came closer to him for a kiss but the moment heated in no time and the next thing you know you're pulling down Jeno's shorts and palm his big cock through his boxers briefs.

He let out guttural sounds, proof that he's loving the pleasure but careful enough not to be heard so you kissed him and caught all his moans as you continue to work on his cock and eventually started grinding on top of him.

"Are we really having our first on a couch?" he whispered in between kissing, hands started to undo the buttons from your sleepwear. Finally exposing yourself to him, "beautiful as always," he murmured but you rolled your eyes on him, making you both giggle quietly. You removed his shirt and proceed to kiss his very hot body, kissing him on the neck, his collar bones, abs, and most importantly, his sensitive nipples that made him part his lips when your tongue made contact with it. "You're going to be the death of me," he said and slipped his hand inside your thin shorts to palm your ass. You then took initiative, to remove your shorts and throw it on the floor. Now that you're both only in your underwear it made you even more excited.

Slowly Jeno let his hand wander around your body, touching your boobs for the very first time and brushing his fingers oh so softly on your nipples and make them hard just like what you did to his. Until you intentionally came closer to him so you're boobs are near his face and did not hesitate to suck it until both of your nipples are swollen.

"When was the last time you had sex?" he whispered beside your ear and the way he asked you just made you breathe in deeply and let out a small moan.

"Let's just say that it's been too long that you will think you're fucking a virgin,"

"It's going to be a long night then," he said and immediately put two fingers inside you which made you hold onto his shoulder and grind on his fingers. "You were right," Jeno felt how tight you were and became more excited that he moved his finger deeper and curled them, massaging your tight walls and watching you enjoy the pleasure that he give you while you're on top of him.

Then he removed it and you let out a heavy sigh because of frustration, you were so wet by this time and you see his boxers briefs stained with your pussy juices and you swear, you wanted to get mad at him but now is not the time. "Put your fingers back in please,"

“You were so close to cumming, don't you want to cum on my dick instead?" he asked you, pulling his hard cock from his boxers briefs and reaching for your hand for you to palm it and feel how big he is. You swallowed the lump in your throat as you look at how big he is and you knew right then and there that he will feel good. So you position yourself comfortably on top of him, touching yourself for a few seconds before you let him line his cock on your hole.

"Just go slow," he said before you sink down and take him whole. Lips parting and eyebrows furrowing as you take him and let his big cock stretch you out. And when it's finally in, you breathe in and out heavily before you move your hips and make you both feel good.

"Oh fuck" he croaked and place his hands on your waist pulling you closer to him so he could keep you close. "Go slower," he whispered beside your ear then watch your pussy swallow his dick. The sight of it just made him want to fuck you hard tonight, break you and make you scream but he can't.

From the tip of his cock right to his balls, you were that deep that you were both losing your minds at that very moment. His hands roam around your body but it mostly stays on your ass, caressing your butt cheeks and teasing your butthole for a few times so you clench around him. "That's cheating," you joke and kissed him.

He pulled you in for a hug and focused on how you fuck him. Yes, fuck him. And this time a little faster and deeper that he's already on edge and making faces already. Faces that he does whenever he's about to have a mind blowing orgasm that he rarely gets. "K-keep fucking me like that," he said with deep groans, one arm around your waist and one arm reaches for your clit.

"Baby, you don't have to do that- fuck that feels good, mmm" his fingers were enough to make you crazy that you ended up fucking him faster, that the couch creaks already and anyone who is awake can definitely tell you're fucking on the couch.

And when the most awaited moment comes, he pushed you away so he could pull out and pump his cock and let his cum land on his stomach. With heavy breaths and a weak body, Jeno looked at you so lovingly at the other side of the couch. Reaching for his shirt to clean his cum so you could go back to your comfort on top of him.

"I'm sorry you didn't cum,” he said softly, sitting up to reach for you and kiss your shoulders as you busy yourself to wear your panties and sleepwear again. Jeno did the same before you two squeeze your bodies on the small couch. Laying bodies to bodies, sharing one blanket and keeping each other close the whole night.

And when the morning comes, you woke up alone on the couch with the blanket perfectly covering your body from the morning breeze.

Days after that fateful night, you and Jeno find ways to have sex whenever you can and enjoy the second month of summer together doing the things you want to do together, going on places and making unforgettable memories. But just as your relationship was going well, you didn’t expect it to fall right before your eyes.

While you were walking hand in hand on the street just after he ends his shift at the cafe and promised to walk you home, you were reminded of the following things you have to deal with just before this summer ends. And because you’re preparing for your college move-in next month, you mentioned it to Jeno for the first time with excited eyes and high pitched tones. “Am I boring you? Sorry, I was just excited” you said. And then he stopped walking.

“I’m not good with long distance. I love you but I know myself, I could end up cheating and hurting you-“

“Where is this coming from? What are you saying? What are you implying?” you asked, question after question because you have no idea why he’s acting like this. You didn’t expect that your excitement for your college dorms will spark something that will ruin your day.

“I’m saying, we’re not going to be okay when we’re apart. I’m not sure if I could give the same efforts you’re about to offer in the future,” he avoided eye contact and clenched his jaw. You’ve never seen him cold like this before.

“So in other words you’re telling me that eventually, we will break up? You just can’t say it to my face because you’re a coward who would rather give up than try the whole long distance shit first?”

Unfortunately, he nodded. And you don’t know why you’re still holding his hand so let him go and walked away.

“Y/n- fuck,” he followed you and tried stopping you, “let's not do this tonight please, it's so sudden,”

You closed your eyes and tried so hard not to cry in front of him. He just kept on saying the wrong words and it's breaking your heart.

“I would rather accept this sudden situation than let you hurt me slowly on the following days.” you shook your head and show him your disappointment. And what hurts you the most is he didn’t even tried to fight for you, or say he's sorry or admit that he’s wrong. He just let you walk away and throw everything that you built tonight.

A few days after your break up, Jeno regrets everything he did that he even tried reaching out to you and Haechan. But he was too late. You left because you can’t stay there and wait for him to chose you again, only to have the same answers that you get on the night you broke up.