#i feel is important but i know that being focused on isn't an experience everyone wants

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

not me doomposting about l*ona again

I pointed out in an older post that Leona seems to demonstrate a unique ability to unite others under a common cause. This is in spite of the lore stating that it's very difficult to get different kinds of beastmen to see eye-to-eye, so much so that Sunset Savanna's acting king, his older brother, has yet to really unify their people.

WELL.

***Spoilers for Leona's Nightmare Suit vignettes below the cut!***

A central theme to Leona's Nightmare Suit vignettes is figuring out what makes someone worthy of being "king". At the start, everyone is reminded of Jack Skellington's status as the "King of Halloween, which makes him the most important person in town. However, Leona's quick to point out that the title isn't what's important, but what one achieves is. He then expresses interest in what it is exactly that Jack Skellington does around here to earn his crown. Jack describes his duties as making Halloween the scariest it can possibly be. He drives around in his buggy, walks his dog Zero through the local cemetery, studies and conducts experiments, and reviews the proposals from Halloween Town residents. An important part of his job is considering his people's ideas! But Leona thinks there could be a more efficient way to do this rather than having the king read the proposals one by one. We can see a divide between their ways of thinking; Jack is willing to hear individuals out whereas Leona is focused on efficiency. This is also reflected in how they assign tasks later in the vignettes. Jack has everyone going up one ladder to decorate, while Leona commands the witches to do this task, as its much faster for them to do on their brooms. I don't know if this was intentional, but the way Jack rules feels reminiscent to how Leona often describes his older brother, Farena/Falena. So often does Leona mention that Falena is too kind and cares too much for others, which impedes on the political and economic gains he could be making if he were just more focused on his goals. “[Falena] could just focus on the kingdom’s affairs–you know, his JOB–but nooo, he’s gotta be the caring big brother who’s nice to everybody." (If you want to read a more in-depth analysis of Falena vs Leona's priorities when it comes to ruling, please read this post.)

Leona claims that the qualifications for king around here are actually really simple--and yeah, maybe there's nothing more to his line than this, but considering that in his home country one's order of birth is also a strong determinant, a merit-based system like what's seen in Halloween Town probably is simpler to him. And that means it's his time to shine and be acknowledged when he wasn't successful at earning this recognition back home.

Now, what REALLY surprised me in these vignettes wasn't that Leona knows how to boss around his peers and put their strengths to use (for example, he tells Vil, who has an eye for detail, to look over the embroidery, and Idia, who is a science and math whiz, to handle difficult calculations). It's that Leona is also perfectly aware of the abilities of the Halloween Town residents--people he has only known for less than three days--and uses them and their skills well too. That's an insanely short amount of time to get to know an entire TOWN'S worth of people and what each of them are like... yet he just pulls it off effortlessly????? HUH... This earns him the praise of Dr. Finkelstein, the mayor, Jack, Sally, and Skully. Sally in particular highlights Leona's strengths very concisely, stating that he can accurately assess the situation and give appropriate directions on how to act in that situation. Skully adds that Leona technically doesn't move himself or do any of the dirty work, he's focused solely on giving orders. This makes him a "king" and a leader of equal standing as Jack Skellington. And then Skully--SKULLY, THE OBSESSED HALLOWEEN OTAKU THAT THINKS HALLOWEEN SHOULD BE A VERY SPECIFIC WAY--says that Halloween was made possible by not one, but two great kings this year. It just goes to show how much one can truly accomplish when not barred by a negative environment and a lack of social support.

One definition of "king" that is offered in these vignettes is "the one who can bring everyone together". That's certainly something that both Leona and Jack do, albeit in very different ways. But then, at the end of the Halloween Town segment of the vignettes, Leona acknowledges that "king" can be defined another way. He realizes that Jack is recognized as king not just because he's a leader, but because he's also needed and loved by the townspeople. This, too, is a "king". However, it seems that this is a definition that Leona somewhat looks down upon, as he basically apologizes to Jack for not thinking highly of him at first. Again, Leona prioritizes getting shit done, no matter what the cost of it may be--and even if it earns him the ire of others. This, as I said earlier, puts him in stark contrast to Jack, as well as his own older brother. But here and now, we have Leona finally seeing the strength that a different kind of ruling can have instead of always speaking so disparagingly about it. Even if it's just a little... it feels like he's growing and learning, doesn't it?

The vignettes end on flashing forward to Leona back at Savanaclaw dorm. A few of his freshmen students are goofing off right before magift/spelldrive practice is about to start. As soon as Leona shows up, the freshmen snap to attention and rush off to change for practice. Jack (Howl, not Skellington, lol) remarks that usually the other first years are so lazy, but their attitudes completely changed when their dorm leader appeared. Ruggie chimes in, saying that Leona keeps the entire dorm in line... THJBAEBVUFAEIYAFIOYBVADFILH ThEN HE CALLS THEIR KING THE BEST... AND JACK AGTREESS... WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHUT THE FUCK UPAS ALREADY STOP POGINTONG OUT HE'S A AGOODFK leADER DFOR YOUE AEPEOPLE YADFJKHAFLIYVDGVYUADGVUEGAVN

In response to the praise, Leona says that simply scolding misbehaving students doesn't make you a king. If it were as simple as that, it would be a pretty cheap throne build only on flattery. The vignettes end with him telling everyone to move their asses to practice. lh WDBHFAIYOEAIYEIYF BUT TAHAT'S PRETY YMASSIVE FOR HS CHARACTER... These vignettes demonstrate that Leona's not fixated on the title of king, but what it means to truly "be" a king and leader. He doesn't value being called a "king" if he feels it's easily earned, he wants to prove himself worthy of it and earn that title through his talents. This all circles back to a thought I had a while ago: that what Leona is after isn't the literal seat of king, but all the things that come with it but was denied of in his childhood. Respect, admiration, recognition for his abilities.

OOoogohoggoOGH... OTL I hate how well it comes together...

[mieczyhale]

"If you don't know the difference between Zionism and Kahanism you have already forfeit your opinion. And if your opinion relies on historical revisionist propaganda you have also forfeit your stake in this"

-@eye-in-hand on this post

[empty-movement]

Welcome to Something Eternal: A Website Forum in 2023 wtf lmao

It's 2023, and a single belligerent rich guy destroyed one of the primary focal points of uh...global communication. Tumblr is, shockingly, kinda thriving despite the abuse it gets from its owners, but that I will call the iconic refusal of Tumblr users to let Tumblr get in the way of their using Tumblr. Reddit killed its API, removing the functionality of mobile apps that made it remotely readable (rip rif.) Discord, our current primary hangout, has made countless strange choices lately that indicate it has reached the summit of its usability and functionality, and can only decline from here as changes get made to prepare for shareholders. (NOTE: WROTE THIS POST BEFORE THEIR MOBILE "REDESIGN" LMAO)

The enshittification is intense, and it's coming from every direction. Social media platforms that felt like permanent institutions are instead slowly going to let fall fallow incredible amounts of history, works of art, thought, and fandoms. It kinda sucks!

A couple years ago, I posted about a new plan with a new domain, to focus on the archiving of media content, as I saw that to be the fatal weakness of the current ways the internet and fandoms work. Much has happened since to convince me to alter the direction of those efforts, though not abandon them entirely.

Long story short? We are launching a fucking website forum. In 2023.

If you remember In the Rose Garden, much about Something Eternal will be familiar. But this has been a year in the making, and in many ways it's far more ambitious than IRG was. We have put money on this. The forum is running on the same software major IT and technology businesses use, because I don't want the software to age out of usability within five years. It has an attached gallery system for me to post content to, including the Chiho Saito art collection. It has a profile post system that everyone already on the forum has decided is kinda like mini Twitter? But it is, fundamentally, a website forum, owned and run and moderated by us. We are not web devs. But we have run a website on pure spite and headbutting code for over twenty years, and we have over a decade of experience maintaining social spaces online, both on the OG forum, and on our Discord. Better skilled people with far more time than we have can and will build incredible alternatives to what is collapsing around us. But they're not in the room right now. We are. And you know what? Maybe it's time to return to a clunkier, slower moving, more conversation focused platform.

You're not joining a social media platform with the full polish of dozens of devs and automated moderation. Things might break, and I might need time to fix them. The emojis and such are still a work in progress. Because e-mails no longer route in reasonable normal ways, the sign-up process instead happens within the software, and has to be approved by mods. Design and structure elements may change. Etc. The point being, that the forum isn't finished, but it is at a place where I feel like I can present it to people, and it's people I need to help direct what functions and things will be in this space. You all will shape its norms, its traditions, its options...choices I could try to make now, but really...they're for us to create as a group! But the important stuff? That's there. Now let's drive this baby off the damn lot already!

Come! Join us!!

PS. As always, TERFs and Nazis need not apply.

[mind-intheclouds342]

Helping Daisuke!

(I don't know why but i think you all gonna think that the way i write its pretty funny and weird, it's just so different making it in spanish.

My first language isn't english and i'm trying my best doing this for the first time!

I hope that at least you can all enjoy it a little bit)

This is pure fluff

You thought you were going to have a horrible experience on that ship, but a light was there to brighten your days.

After finishing high school, you weren't quite sure how your life was going to keep going or what you were going to do.

Your parents were very worried about you, immediately urging you to do different things that only ended up putting more stress on you.

Until they achieved this, and you accepted, you needed to escape from them and have time for yourself.

You never imagined that one day you would reach space, it was something unreal for you.

The fact that they hire people with no experience at all it seemed so strange, but you didn't complain too much about it or think of it.

You ended up being Anya's intern, who was in charge of the nursery.

You liked her a lot, she was so calm and sweet with you, and you felt secure having another woman on the crew.

At the beginning of the trip, you were extremely focused on learning as much knowledge as possible from her, where the medications were located, CPR techniques, how to perform a routine check-up, and other things.

In any case, you kept a certain distance from others, feeling defenseless in front of everyone else since they were older than you and had the necessary experience to do their jobs, while you only felt like an intruder.

But not with him.

Daisuke had gone through a situation similar to yours, ending up as Swansea's intern, helping him with mechanical work.

But you two hadn't exchanged a word until that day…

Swansea: "Hey (Y/n), I need you to help me with something, and it would be better if you bring your emergency kit"

You had been alarmed immediately upon hearing the man call you, but you nodded to accompany him; he certainly looked upset, making you wonder what had happened.

Swansea: "I couldn't find Anya, you were the closest one to ask for help, because I need you to fix this idiot soon."

He mentioned, pointing at a Daisuke sitting on a box, thinking about what had happened.

You immediately noticed the drops of blood on the floor, you began to carefully examine the boy's body until you found that he had a piece of metal embedded in the palm of his hand.

You tilted your head, analyzing the wound for a moment; it wasn't large, the metal was cylindrical and of small diameter.

"How did that happen?"

Swansea: "Ask the fool, I don't wanna here, if I keep seeing him I'm going to smack him"

He ran his hand over his face in frustration before leaving.

You couldn't help but smile, noticing that he was truly worried about the boy.

You approached and sat down in front of him.

Daisuke looked up to see you, and his eyes soon began to search for something else to focus on.

"I'm going to need you to lend me a hand."

You said, extending your hands, hoping he would do the same.

Daisuke: "Really, it wasn't as stupid as the boss says! Seriously, I was doing something very, very important"

He began to speak nervously, to which you just kept staring at him, waiting for his hand. Defeated, he finally handed it to you.

"So, what was that totally not silly and super important thing you were doing?"

Daisuke: "As you can imagine! Swansea couldn't fix inside the ventilation ducts for obvious reasons! I wanted to help him and I climbed up! But… I fell and my hand got stuck as you can see… It was for a good cause!"

"Mmh"

You hummed, focused, watching the swelling around the metal, and touched the boy's fingers, making sure it hadn't pierced any tendons or bones.

Daisuke: "Does it look very bad? It doesn't hurt as much as you might think"

"It's going to hurt."

You warned him, leaving him confused, when you put on a glove and ripped the metal off, making him let out an extremely high-pitched scream.

Both of them stood there, surprised by how he had shouted, the boy immediately turning red.

"The good thing is that it didn't go through anything important, you were lucky."

You began to clean the wound carefully.

Daisuke: "Great… Great… Soooo… what things are you into?"

You raised your gaze curiously for a moment at his question.

Daisuke: "I need to talk to distract myself from the pain."

"What do I like?… Lemme see… I like watching series… Listening to music… Read… Normal things, I guess? Nothing extraordinary"

Daisuke: "Those are awesome things! What kind of series do you like to watch? Oh! What's your favorite music genre? I can teach you some awesome songs! Do you like movies? I love action movies! Ka-pow!"

You couldn't help but laugh a little at his enthusiasm while you were already bandaging his wound.

"You're going to have to take good care of yourself and we'll do some check-ups from time to time, okay?"

Daisuke: "You mean like dates?…….I mean! Medical! Medical dates!! Medical appointments?"

You were surprised by that and smiled at him, raising an eyebrow, starting to understand what all that nervousness was about.

"We can also have dates, if you like, although it will be difficult on the ship, but if you're okay with a day playing cards and watching the screen, then I think we can make it work."

Daisuke: "Are you serious??"

You could see how her entire face lit up with your suggestion.

"I'm not going to deny it, you're cute, and you're the only one my age, I feel much more comfortable with you."

Daisuke: "Eh-? Seriously, is that all you see??"

"…You have never spoken to me! How could I like anything else about you if I don't know you?"

Daisuke: "It's just that talking to girls makes me nervous… I was afraid of saying something that would make you think I'm an idiot-"

"Okay, so… What do you like about me?"

Daisuke: "…That you're my age… and you're pretty…"

You crossed your arms at his vague answer like yours.

Daisuke: "How handsome do you think I am? The most handsome one in the crew, am i rigth?"

He smiled, running his hand through his hair, making you laugh.

"The second one, I would say~ but Captain Curly is too old for me."

Daisuke: "I didn't want to know that! Lie to meeeee!"

He stayed, and you could only laugh more, to the point where you accidentally started to snort, covering your mouth trying to stop laughing.

Daisuke found that even more adorable and magnificent, his cheeks flushing even more, thinking that he might have a chance with such a sweet girl who laughs at his silly words and actions.

"Remember, no matter how much it itches, you mustn't scratch it, okay?"

You indicated to him after you had caught your breath and stopped laughing, you had to return to the infirmary to leave the emergency kit you had taken.

Daisuke: "Got it!"

He brought his hand to his forehead and smiled at you.

You returned the smile and approached him to leave a kiss on your cheek before leaving.

He stood in place for a few seconds before jumping up, shouting with joy, raised his hand wanting to high-five someone, but realizing he was alone, he high-fived himself.

Something he immediately regretted but it was worth it.

Anya: "Oh, (Y/n) was looking for you"

"I was helping Daisuke, he had hurt himself, here I bring the kit to put it back in place."

Anya: "Yes, it had a very nasty wound"

"…How do you know?"

Anya: "Well, I was the first to see it but Swansea suggested that you should see it to test what you've learned, I'm sure you did great."

You let out a chuckle upon hearing that, so Swansea took it upon himself to help you talk to each other, he really do cares about Daisuke.

[countcvnt]

Howl

Chapter One: Coffee Shop Crush

[Werewolf!Poly!141 x GN!Reader]

Summary: Four years after a horrible attack, you and your childhood best friend move for her job. After the move, you frequent a coffee shop near your apartment, and you meet a cute ex-military man. You can't help but fall for him. Warnings: Mentions of blood, descriptions of scars, 2 named OCs (i know some people don't like that, and that's okay!) one of the OCs is a child (they are important, i promise) reader being insecure about said scars, pet names (from friend), no use of y/n Word Count: 2.3k A/N: I had an idea and had to write it!! THIS IS AN AU (obviously), I'm doing what i want and everyone is alive. Don't worry, I'm still working Experiment as well! I love Gaz, truly and deeply, you are about to see that in full swing baybeeeee! Divider by @cafekitsune

“This isn't so silly now, is it?”

Your friend looks at you, her hand on her hip. You can't help but roll your eyes. “I never said this was silly,” You deadpan at her. “I said–”

“‘The idea of wanting to go camping before you give birth is silly’.” She uses air quotes around the words.

“Yeah! The idea, not the action, Cynthia.” You bite back.

She rolls her eyes this time. She looks at the tent the both of you set up —mostly you— and smiles to herself. You can’t help but smile too. You groan at yourself and walk over to her. You pat her on the back.

“You’re right.” She looks at you, “This isn’t silly. I’m just–”

“A hater. I get it! I love you for it!” Her words stun you. You cross your arms at her and scowl. You grunt and walk away from her. “Hey!” She turns to you, “Where are you going?”

You click your tongue, “Gotta get wood for a fire, silly.” She gives you an enthusiastic ‘thank you’ and you walk off towards the treeline. The sun is setting and there is a horrible feeling settling in your gut. “You’re just a hater…” You mumble to yourself. “Nothing bad is going to happen.” You inhale sharply and walk into the woods. You grab some branches that look pretty burnable and rush back out to your campsite.

Cynthia says nothing about rushed actions, instead she motions for you to place the branches in the spot she made for the wood. You set it down and Cynthia grabs the lighter fluid. She douses the branches and sets them ablaze. 

She smiles and sits down a few feet from the fire and you watch her. She places her hands on her stomach and closes her eyes. She looks content. Genuinely, and utterly content. You sigh. One of her eyes squint open and she pats the ground beside. You don’t hesitate to sit down with her.

“What’s wrong?”

Your stomach flips. In a horrible way.

“I don’t know.” You look at the fire before staring up at the full moon. Your eyes cut back to her and she pats you on the thigh.

“We’ve been friends forever, you can tell me anything.” She gives you a soft smile.

“My stomach hurts.” It’s not a complete lie.

“Sorry, babes,” She shakes her head, “can’t help you there.”

“I guess–” You pause. “You’re so happy. Like, glowing… I want that too. What are you doing?” You let out an awkward laugh. Her face drops. “It’s not that I’m not happy, I just– I’m not happy like you.”

“Oh, sweetie,” She pulls you into a soft hug, her ‘mom voice’ coming out. “I promise, I’m not always thrilled. I mean, I’m about to be a single mom… That’s terrifying. But I do have you, and that means a lot to me.” Her hand rubs your back. “When we get back from this trip, we can do something you want to do!” She pulls away and presses her forehead to yours. “I promise.”

You close your eyes, nodding. “That means a lot,” You smile. Cynthia pulls away and you sigh. You can’t help but still feel sick. A loud whine comes from the trees behind you. An animal dying. You tense.

“Get in the tent.” You don’t even look at Cynthia, your eyes are laser focused on the woods.

“It’s probably wolves or something…” She doesn't argue though. Cynthia crawls into the tent and waits for you. You don’t get in fast enough.

Something big moves in your peripheral vision. You look up and want to scream, no noise comes out. Cynthia sees the pure shock on your face before she registers what’s going on. You're tackled to the ground by some creature. You figure it’s not an animal or a man. Definitely not a man. Its claws are large, too large to belong to an animal you know, and ripping into you in seconds.

A scream finally rips from your mouth. Cynthia doesn't move. You hope she doesn’t come out of that tent. You’re overpowered instantly; the creature gnashing its teeth above you, its claws rip into your stomach. Another one of your screams echoes through the woods. You look over at the tent.

Cynthia isn’t in the tent.

Your eyes widen. You don’t move.

“Get off– Get back!” Cynthia screams, her voice full of rage and fear. You can’t see what she’s doing but, suddenly, the creature removes itself from you and takes off away from the both of you. Your eyes cut to her. She’s standing there, holding a burning stick. Tears fill her eyes.

“Sweetie,” She’s using her mom voice again, you look at her with shock filled eyes. Adrenaline is dwindling, she sees it. “I need you to stay with me…” She’s fumbling for her phone. “I have service!” She calls what you can only assume is authorities, and everything is starting to fade in and out. She gives the operator the location and she’s trying to keep you focused on her. “Please, stay awake… I can’t lose you…”

You open your mouth to speak, but you are out. You’re too far gone to even comprehend what you want to say. You let the darkness take over. So much for doing whatever you wanted to do.

You sit at the coffee shop, eyes looking at the laptop screen in front of you. Your eyes move down to the time and your heart is in your throat when you see the date. It doesn’t get easier it seems. You know what day it is, really, you are always aware. But, seeing it makes it so real. You inhale sharply and look back at the screen.

You’re doing your annual “What The Fuck Attacked Me in Those Woods” research. It’s hard to constantly look things up. And, every year around the time of the attack, things become fresh. The scars, and the thoughts. It may be the worst time to look things up, but it’s the only time you want to.

So far, you’ve found a big wolf, a bigger bear (which you are sure it wasn’t either of those), and… A werewolf. That doesn’t make sense either though. Not completely. It fits the description of whatever attacked you. But those aren’t real. You sigh and continue looking at the pictures.

You come across an article. Someone claiming ‘a large creature’ (a werewolf, they are sure) had attacked their livestock. You want to look away when you catch images of the poor animals, but you can’t… You’re too busy comparing the marks on the sheep to the marks on your stomach.

It’s adding up…

“Whatcha lookin’ up?”

You almost jump out of your skin. A yelp escapes you and slam your laptop shut. “Gaz!” You whisper, swatting at him. “What the hell?”

“Sorry,” He puts his hands up and sits across from you, “but really… Were you looking up werewolves?” He raises a brow. He sounds playful. If only he knew you weren't playing.

Your brows furrow and your lips turn downward into a pout. “I’m not in the mood.”

Gaz immediately apologizes. “My bad,” he pauses. He watches you closely as you grab your coffee and take a sip. “Are you alright?”

You only nod. “I will be.” You solemnly sigh. Your eyes peer up at Gaz, his wheels are turning.

“Would now be a bad time to ask you out?”

You are certain the shock on your face is visible from across the coffee shop. Your jaw drops and you stare at him. Gaz shifts. You swallow hard and compose yourself. “Um, actually, I don’t think there would be a bad time for you to ask that.”

He is relieved. You see him relax. He gives you a toothy grin and you can’t help but return the smile. “What about tonight?” His confidence is back.

“Yes!” You are excited, you cannot help but feel so excited. “I mean, yeah, that's fine.” You rub your hands down your thighs and try to act nonchalant.

Gaz’s smile turns cheeky. “Perfect.” He jots something down on a piece of paper and hands it to you. His number. “I'm surprised I haven't given this to you yet, but here.” He stands from his seat. “I have work to do today, but tonight I'm all yours.” He winks at you.

Heat bristles across your cheeks. You nod at him as he leaves. You pick up your phone and quickly put his number in. You send a text to him, letting him know it's you. You slip your phone into your jacket pocket and bite the inside of your lip. You put your computer in your bag and begin to leave yourself. Your mind is running faster than you can keep up with.

Maybe it doesn't have to be a bad day after all.

As you're leaving the coffee shop you pull out your phone. One new message.

I forgot to tell you what I have planned for tonight

If you're up for it, I can keep it a secret? -Gaz

Your stomach knots. You want so badly to know. Maybe not knowing will help you grow. You trust Gaz.

Just let me know what I need to wear.

Something cute! But you're always cute. So that won't be a problem. -Gaz

Your face is burning again. You respond with an ‘okay’ and send a thumbs up emoji. You smile all the way home.

You open the door of your apartment and are greeted with a shrill scream of your name. You close the door and small arms wrap around your legs. You smile down at the child.

“Hey, booger.” You hug back. “Where's your mom?”

Footsteps come from another room and the child points towards the noise. Cynthia walks in and smiles at you. Her eyes narrow and she hums. “You seem… oddly happy.”

“Is that bad?”

“No, no!” She shakes her head. “It's good. Great! I know you were upset this morning… Did something turn your morning around?”

You shrug. “Maybe.” You smile at her. She perks up. “I'm going on a date tonight.” You are nonchalant this time. Playing it cool for your friend.

She runs towards you and hugs you, her daughter in between you and her. She squeals. Cynthia pulls away and smiles widely at you, after apologizing to her child who runs off. “For real?” When you nod, she continues. “With your coffee shop crush?”

You nod again. “He stopped by today just to ask me out…” Your stomach flips at the thought of that. You want to scream at how sweet he is.

“What's his name, anyway?”

You haven't told anyone his name. You met him a week ago and didn't want to jinx anything. You didn't dare mess anything up for yourself. Now, you feel obligated to at least tell Cynthia his name. “Kyle.”

“Know anything about him?” She cocks a brow.

“Well, we've only been talking for a week. I'm sure I know more about him than he does about me though… He’s ex-military. I know he works with his old military colleagues. I also know he has the prettiest eyes I've ever seen and is the sweetest man I've ever met.” You smile at her.

Cynthia beams at you. “I'm happy for you! We've lived here a week and you're already among progress.”

“Now I have all day to think about this date…” You pause, remembering your search from earlier. “Cynthia, I looked more up about–”

Cynthia’s eyes snap from her child and to you. “Sweetie,” her voice is soft but full of worry. “It's okay to not know what it was…”

“Maybe for you!” You keep from shouting. “Cynthia… I found someone saying something attacked their livestock and the marks looked like mine.” You whisper. “What they described is the only thing I can describe.”

“What'd they say?” She whispers back.

“Werewolf.” It's the only word that falls from your lips.

Cynthia tenses. She mumbled your name and sighs. “I know you want to know what happened that night– But maybe… Maybe it's best we don't know.”

That is her way of saying that werewolves aren't real. You bite your tongue. “At least I know I'm not crazy.”

Her eyes widen. “You aren't crazy. I saw what you saw!” She stops herself from raising her voice any further. “I have a bad feeling about this. Maybe it's best we let this lie.”

You keep from rolling your eyes. “Whatever.” You walk to your room and close your door. Inhaling sharply, you begin to find something to wear for your date. You have the rest of the day ahead of you, but you want to be ready. You see an old sheer top and scrunch your nose. You wonder why you still have it. It's not ugly, but…

You lift up your shirt slightly and look down at the raised skin stretching from the middle of your ribs down to below your belly button. The scar is big, gnarly, and reminds you too much of the attack to wear that sheer top.

“Hey!” A knock comes from the other side of your door and it swings open. You drop your shirt.

“Amelia–”

“I knocked.” She smiles at you. “Are you comin’ to my party?” Her eyes are big and round and sweet.

You nod. “I'm just going out tonight. Your party is tomorrow, silly.” You pat her on the head.

“Good.” She pats your thigh. “I'll be…” She pauses.

“Four.”

Amelia smiles even wider. “Yeah! Four!”

You can't help but smile. “Okay, Amelia, go to your mother.” You shoo her from your room. She exits as fast as she entered and you sigh. You shake your head and look back at your closet. “At least I have all day to figure out ‘something cute’ for tonight…”

[c-rowlesdraws]

So my dad is a chef and Ratatouille is his favorite Pixar movie. Less for the story and more for the attention to detail they put in keeping a professional kitchen true to life. The whole "anyone can cook!" motto of the story was kind of undercut by Linguine just...not being a good cook? But there's more to a kitchen than just the head chef! A restaurant, a kitchen can't function without EVERYONE doing their jobs. Even dishwashers to keep things clean and sanitary are critically essential; the person who just chops up the vegetables is a simple job but is crucial when there's a a metric TON of onions that needs prep. And is that not cooking? Is everyone working together, cooperating, keeping people fed and happy what it's all about? Linguine wasn't a good over a stove without Remy, but we saw by the end he was a good waiter - that's important too. A great side arc while Collette learns to re-love her passion as a chef is teaching Linguine that he isn't defined by Gusteau's legacy, and not being a *chef* wouldn't mean his contributions to a restaurant aren't valuable either. It would be a great dual 'finding / refinding yourself' arc for both of them!

“The whole "anyone can cook!" motto of the story was kind of undercut by Linguine just...not being a good cook?”

YEAH OKAY like… my biggest problem with the movie was how confused the message seemed to be. Like— “anyone can cook”, that’s a great smaller message, you can be an okay home cook and not a ✨chef✨ and that’s still cooking, that’s still something to be proud of; and another interpretation of that phrase spoke to the main message of the film: “anyone can cook”/“a great artist can come from anywhere”, as in, you can have the potential to achieve your dreams no matter how humble your origins are. But all that was undercut by the film, for some reason, needing to emphasize that some people are doomed to mediocrity even with the best teaching— I remember feeling like, “wait… what?” at the end of the film when the voiceover said, “not everyone can be a great artist” as the camera focused on poor Linguini. It seemed unnecessarily mean of the movie to separate people into, as it seemed to me, people destined to be singular “great artists” and those destined to fail. After having learned more about Brad Bird and his ego, the confusion of the message makes more sense to me. But yeah—back then and especially now, with my professional bakery and kitchen experience as an adult, I don’t like how a movie about a restaurant, where teamwork from top to bottom is essential and “rockstar” chefs are usually red flags, seemed to conclude by celebrating the idea of the singular genius artist.

I feel like it’s also worth pointing out that animation studios, like restaurant kitchens, make art through an incredible amount of teamwork, so it kind of hits extra dirty for me that this army of creative people were directed to produce a story about a similar workplace, where the message wasn’t really ultimately about teamwork or valuing each person for their own skills and contributions, but about how one little special guy ascended to being the bestest specialist guy of them all.

Also YEAH like. Head chef whatever, important position, makes the Big Decisions and is very cool and etc, but good luck running service without anyone doing prep, taking out trash, or washing the dishes. Everyone, especially the head chef, knows the success of the entire damn kitchen rests on the shoulders of the guy in the dish pit.

[exceptionimagines]

Meeting and Dating Jerry Dandridge

(Not my gif)(Requested by anonymous)

(The real ones know about the struggles of the meeting scenario. They also know that I'm kind of referencing the original fright night with the whole 'reincarnated lost love' thing. Also, sorry that this ones kind of horny, guess I just had that dawg in me at the time lol.)

- When you tell people you're not the type of girl to get noticed, it's not some lame attempt to garner sympathy or an admission of low self esteem. You're not pouting at them and crying out for help, begging them to tell you otherwise or to comfort you about the unfortunate state of your love life.

- No, you're simply stating a fact: one you've never really deemed as the end of the world or some egregious issue that you must work to overcome. There's nothing wrong with being the way that you are and no amount of magazines or movies or books will convince you otherwise. You've come to terms with being plain; with being easily ignored, and at this point in your life, you don't really notice it anymore.

- It's only when Jerry Dandridge moves into your neighborhood that you find yourself reconsidering this once definitive description of yourself....

- Due to your lifelong experience of being overlooked, you've grown used to interacting with everyone around you as a sort of sexless being. You don't overthink things when meeting someone for the first time, you don't try to flirt or expect them to find you so attractive that they'll have no other choice but to ask you out. No, you view yourself the same way a little old lady would, expecting people to treat you in a platonic, "well isn't she sweet" kind of way; liking your company but never considering you as an option when thinking of a potential future partner.

- It's why you're so casual when meeting your new, incredibly attractive neighbor for the first time: shaking his hand and welcoming him to the area with a polite smile instead of the lovestruck and giggly grins of the other women around you. You keep things cordial and you think nothing of it when he first starts focusing in on you, always bringing the conversation back to you as you stand amongst a couple other neighbors; the same ones who called you over to greet the man when they noticed you returning home from work.

- At first you think he's trying to be nice, that he notices you're a little reserved and wants to keep you included whenever you seem to get lost in the chaotic cacophony of voices. But then you notice that he isn't really addressing anyone else in the circle directly, that he's seemingly only interested in what you think of things and what you want to say; almost to the point where the conversation is beginning to feel like a one on one talk with spectators.

- You're not used to the attention, not used to having someone specifically drawn to you out of everyone else in an entire crowd; a crowd that includes far more conventionally attractive women than yourself. You're confused when he keeps looking at you, sharing little smiles with you while your other neighbors speak, like you're the most important one there and that he wants you to know that. Your mind races when trying to figure out why he's behaving in such a way....

- It isn't until one of the older lady's on your street nudges you and coos about you having a "new admirer" that you actually consider the idea. You brush it off at first, refusing to think that that's the case; especially when you're talking about someone like Jerry. You argue to yourself that this sort of thing doesn't happen to you, men like him don't go for women like you.... But apparently they do....

- Jerry continues to pay special attention to you, continues to seek you out even when he's certainly not hard up for choices; as though the other girls on your block aren't throwing themselves at him. When he leaves his house, he looks out for you amongst the sea of people, giving your other neighbors a small smile and nod of acknowledgement as he makes his way over to you, meeting you at your car or your mailbox and starting a conversation.

- He hops from topic to topic, anything to prolong your time with him, to give him an excuse to be closer to you, to touch you in some way. You leave your interactions with him flustered, your skin still tingling from where he held your wrist to look at your bracelet or brushed his fingers across your own when exchanging mail. You feel silly for it, feeling like you're too old for all of this giddiness, this school girl sort of crush that's making you weak in the knees and tying your stomach in knots.

- Not long after you meet him, he asks if you'd want to get together, smiling at you charmingly, a touch of shyness on his face as he glances to the ground and then back up at you. You quickly agree, faltering only a little when he chuckles and tells you that "the only problem" is that his house is still a mess from moving. You invite him over to yours and he promises to bring over some wine/beer, telling you he'll "see you then" as the two of you part ways.

- When he comes over to your place, he brandishes the alcohol with a smile, complimenting your appearance as you invite him inside; his smile growing just a tad bit more as he steps over the threshold of your doorway. He looks around, makes a joke about having you help him decorate his own home and follows you happily as you lead him into your living room.

- As your date progresses, you start to think that Jerry is the closest thing to a perfect man that you've ever met. It's like he was handcrafted with the extent purpose of making you fall for him: every little thing he says or does making you like him even more. It's like you've known him for forever and yet it still feels new and exciting.

- When you're ready to call it a night, you're ecstatic to hear him say that he had a great time, that he wants to see you again soon and that next time, he'll invite you over to his place.

- He does so not long after, meeting you at your car one evening and asking if you know anything about painting. When you give him your answer, he invites you to help him decide on a color for his walls, taking you with him to the store once you get a tour of his home, making a date out of picking out the perfect shades. You end up back at his place when you're done, drinking together and watching reality television as you roll different colors across the blank drywall of his home.

- The two of you share your first kiss that same night after he points out that you have some paint on your cheek. He reaches out, smoothing your hair from your face and swiping the fleck of color from your skin with a gentle touch, his hand lingering on your cheek as he stares down at you with an affectionate gaze. Before you know it, you're both leaning in and sharing a short and sweet kiss, smiling at each other happily once the two of you pull apart.

- It all feels too good to be true.... And maybe it is, because not long after, you notice Charley; Jerry's next door neighbor, staring at the two of you when you meet up for another date. You take in the way that he's looking at Jerry and then the way that he's looking at you, at the way he hesitates like he wants to say something. You turn to Jerry and asks what's up with the boy, to which he merely chuckles, telling you that it's nothing while he throws an arm around your shoulders, leading you inside and casting a dark glance towards the boy before he closes his door.

- The next morning, Charley knocks on your door. He tells you that there's something wrong with Jerry and that you should stay away from him. You question him, wanting to know exactly what he thinks is wrong with your boyfriend, not knowing Charley to be the type of kid to make stuff up. He finally admits that he thinks your boyfriend is a vampire and you laugh a little, thinking he's joking.

- He doesn't laugh with you though, instead, he takes his phone out and swipes through photos: photos of scrolls, and antiques, and suspicious belongings. You grow even more confused, asking where he's taken all these pictures and why he's showing you all of this ...until you're shut up by the sight of a painting, a painting of ...you.

"What is this Charley?" You ask, chuckling somewhat incredulously, weirded out and confused.

"It's Jerry's, it's in his house. Just see for yourself, y/n. You'll find it there and you'll see that I'm telling you the truth. Just be careful, alright? He's dangerous." You're baffled by his words, baffled by the entire encounter. Your neighbor has broken into your boyfriends house and found an antique painting of you, or, at the very least, someone who looks identical to you.

- You want to put the whole thing out of your mind, but you cant. You have to find out the truth, so late in the evening, you go to knock on your boyfriends door. You hesitate on his front step: moving to knock then chickening out then moving to knock again. Finally, you decide to just leave, decide that you can't do it, but before you can walk off his front step, the door behind you opens and Jerry asks if you're alright.

- You assure him that you are, telling him that you just wanted to see him and apologizing for bothering him as he shakes his head and smiles, inviting you in as you swallow down your nervousness.

- You try to act normal but you doubt that you're doing a good job, sitting stiffly on his couch while he fetches you a beer. He presses the cool glass to your temple when he comes back, the icy feeling making you flinch, tearing you from your thoughts as he asks if you're alright again. You want to confess everything, to purge yourself of your newfound worries, but instead, you ask to use his restroom, feigning being overheated like he seemed to think that you were; probably from the flush of your cheeks and/or the light sheen of nervous sweat on your forehead.

- You head towards the room you recognized from the photos, remembering it well considering the fact that you picked out the color that's seen on the wall behind the painting. It was a bare bedroom back then but it must be furnished now: furnished with shelves and trinkets and antiques. And a painting of you, framed in aged wood and sealed in yellowing varnish, standing tall against the wall, staring back at you like a mirror, right down to the last freckle and eyelash. It was obviously painted centuries ago, and yet you can almost remember the moment, as though that were even logical or possible.

- You turn to leave, knowing you don't have much time to pretend you're in the bathroom splashing a bit of water on your face or neck in order to cool down. But when you turn, you see that Jerry is already standing in the doorway, watching you as you stand paralyzed in the middle of the room. He tells you that he was worried you would pass out, chuckling almost bitterly, devoid of any cheerfulness.

"What is this Jerry?" You ask confused. You're not upset, not scared or hurt or anything, just confused; baffled.

"It's a long story," He tells you. "Much longer than you think."

- When you finally go to leave, you're somewhat in shock, mind swimming with everything you've just found out. Jerry watches you closely as he walks you to the door, trying in vain to read your expression, to try and see what you think of everything; what you think of the truth. You pause on his front step, turning back around and looking at his face, at the almost imperceptible signs of worry. You gently pull him down by the back of his neck and press a kiss to his cheek, feeling him grip you in return, hold you against him for a moment as you tell him goodnight.

- When you begin walking home, you happen a glance at the Brewster's house, your eyes catching sight of Charley as he stands at his window and watches you. You look away just as quickly as you looked towards him, suddenly feeling guilty; like you've betrayed the boy in some terrible way.

- But you just can't help it. You can't help the fact that you love him....

- Due to his ...affliction, it isn't often that you and Jerry are seen out in public together, so while he's an incredibly affectionate boyfriend, pda just isn't very commonplace. When it does occur, however; depending on your personality, you might just wish that it hadn't.... Jerry is well aware that it isn't appropriate for him to practically fornicate with you on his front lawn, but he simply doesn't care. He enjoys showing off and he enjoys seeing peoples scandalized reactions; especially when they're people who are suspicious of him.

- On that same note: Jerry is definitely a bit of an exhibitionist so you're gonna have to be okay with people seeing you in various compromising positions. Sometimes you'll be aware of it, sometimes you won't, but if you really aren't comfortable with it, he'll try to keep it to a minimum.

- Jerry is oftentimes a great example of raw, animalistic want. He's a very touchy, very affectionate, and very dominant kind of person, so don't be surprised when he's constantly wanting to be close to you. He'll wrap himself around you continuously, kissing your skin and nuzzling into your flesh. The two of you come together and pull apart like magnets, like your bodies are naturally drawn to each other, needing to glide against one another in order to survive. He's admittedly a little obsessed with you, but it's certainly not unwelcome.

- Temple and hairline kisses. He also occasionally kisses you right at your pulse point; though you should definitely make sure that you can trust him before you just let him do it.

- I firmly believe that the way Jerry kisses in the film is not just done to rub his success in Charley’s face, but because he’s genuinely just that kind of guy. When he kisses, he aims to devour you whole: kissing you like you're the only thing that can ever truly satiate him. His kisses are dominating, deep and rough and bruising, and they're always just so ...hungry. He'll oftentimes have to pull away before you're finished with him because he has to try to control himself; his fanged teeth and darkened eyes on full display as he keeps his shred of distance with a lustful smile.

- Getting hickeys from him is a very dangerous game but Jerry is always glad to be on the receiving end; probably even more than the alternative. They typically fade quite quickly due to his healing factor, but he simply uses that as an excuse for you to give him more, lounging around open shirted in hopes that you'll pounce, or teasing you about how they're starting to fade, urging you to do something about it.

- He has a slight obsession with touching your ass but you generally allow it because he lets you touch his in return. Ass smacks are a sign of affection in your household, but they're also a very dangerous game. Your boyfriend can get a little feral sometimes and your voluptuous backside has become his favorite victim.

- Laying your head in his lap as he cards his fingers through your hair. Jerry kind of likes using you as a weighted blanket so it's also quite common for you to lay across his chest, relaxing against him as he absentmindedly traces patterns on your back.

- Definitely has a habit of toying with your hair: absentmindedly twirling strands of it, brushing it back from your face, smoothing it down, etc. He isn't even shy about it, making it blatantly obvious that he enjoys what he's doing and that he see's nothing wrong with it. But it's also so ingrained in him that he doesn't even realize he's doing it sometimes.

- He calls you "bunny" a lot: "my little bunny" or "my little mouse". But he also calls you more common things like angel, baby, babe, princess, and/or honey.

- He likes pretending to be distracted by something, only to grab you and pull you down on top of him whenever you get too close. He likes the little rush of adrenaline that courses through you, feeling your heart beat wildly in your chest and/or smelling the ounce of fear that permeates the air whenever you react to the sudden "attack". It's like micro dosing a drug to him, and it's a fun way to get his hands on you.

- He finds your scent, in general, to be incredibly intoxicating. So, if you're ever wondering why he doesn't just change you right off the bat, it's probably because he doesn't want to lose your uniquely godly scent to plain old generic vampire musk. Be prepared for him to bury his face in your hair, your neck, or your clothes because it definitely happens fairly often. Depending on the day, it either relaxes or riles him up, so you might as well make a game out of guessing which one it'll be.

- You cannot be around him when you're on your period; regardless of how much he may claim otherwise. So much of his personality is animalistic and horny: if it isn't the blood that gets him going, it's the hormones, and when he says he's fine, he's lying. He's also unapologetic about being on demon hours so you can't even successfully shame him for it. Don't trust him to contain himself. Do trust him to furiously jerk it after he catches the scent of you.

- Going for night drives.

- Convenience store runs.

- Laying in the bed of his truck or sitting up on the tailgate and watching the stars. There's a lot of big deserts where the two of you live, and they're all nice and peaceful, providing a scenic atmosphere and a clear view of the unpolluted sky.

- Watching Desperate Housewives together. Jerry finds reality television to be particularly amusing: it's like modern society; particularly the parts of it that he's not able to interact with, all wrapped up in a chaotic and entertaining bow. To some extent, it's like a scientific study, but he's also just a messy bitch himself so it all appeals to him on a very deep and personal level.

- Not having many choices when thinking of date ideas because he's only able to go out at night or in indirect sunlight. You usually go to different movies, bars, carnivals, and occasionally the odd casino or club; if you're interested in that sort of thing.

- Showering/taking relaxing baths together.

- Loves when you wear his clothes.

- He literally smells so good and nothing can convince me otherwise. He talks about your scent, but his scent makes you feel like you're ovulating: out here fully ready to start mating whenever you get a hint of his cologne.

- Getting each other special and/or matching jewelry. He's literally never seen without his, and whenever the two of you are in a fight; or even breaking up, he checks to see if you're still wearing yours; thinking of it as proof that you're still at least somewhat in love with him. He's very smug about it.

- Unapologetically steals things from his victims and gives them to you. Thankfully for you, he typically spares you from the truth and tells you that he simply bought them.

- Always keeps your favorite things on hand and in stock. He survives off of beer and apples like 90% of the time, but his fridge and pantry are full of random goods, entirely because he knows that you like them. Rest assured that if you don't drink liquor, he's got at least one Snapple or water or whatever in his cooler or fridge at any given moment: and that he thinks it's cute that you're so "feminine"/innocent. He just likes looking after you without making a big deal out of it.

- Jerry; probably, literally stalked you before the two of you started dating so try not to question it when he reveals that he knows things that you've never told him before or guesses what you're going to say before you say it. He loves you enough to listen to you tell the same stories over and over again, but just know that he's already memorized every little detail of them; and that he's probably just focusing on how cute you look instead of exactly what you're saying.

- It doesn't matter if you're all dressed up and looking drop dead gorgeous, or if you're looking like you're about to drop dead: he thinks you're adorable at any given moment, and he wants you bad. He also thinks you're especially adorable whenever you're sick, but that's neither here nor there.

- He's constantly acting like your knight in shining armor, using his inhuman speed, strength, and reflexes to make up for any sort of clumsiness that you might display while being in his presence.

- Helping him with his little projects. You know, he always claims that he needs your help, but when he says that, he always just means that he wants you to sit and look pretty while he does all the work. Although that's honestly a win-win for you.

- Jerry has centuries of experience when it comes to learning the ins and outs of appliances, so you can rest assured that he can fix literally anything that you're capable of breaking. A lot of this experience comes from wanting to get the upper hand when catching "prey", but you don't have to know that: you just have to stop worrying about everything and reap the benefits of his labor.

- Making jokes about him being an old man or a cradle robber; considering the fact that he's like 400 years old. Expect him to either raise a brow at you, smirk, or make a downright sleazy comment. *cough, cough* daddy *cough, cough*.

- You can honestly get away with so much just because he likes you; even when the two of you are technically broken up. You'll literally be trying to kill him and he'll act as though you're simply being difficult, smiling at your petrified friends as he says something along the lines of "can't live with them, can't live without them". It's partially because he finds it hot that you're a worthy opponent and that you can occasionally manage to best him: thinking of it as a reason for why he loves you so much.

- You're a victim of the sassy man apocalypse. Jerry seemed like such a masculine sort of person when the two of you first started dating, so you really didn't expect him to be as unserious or as shady as he; occasionally, is. His personality can make him seem a lot less dangerous than he actually is: especially when he's mocking and teasing and making quips at people. It makes staying mad at him or serious in a situation pretty hard since he's actively just being ...kind of a little shit. He's a comedic genius, but when it's in the middle of you convincing him not to kill someone, you tend not to appreciate it.

"I repel you with Christ our lord."

"Do you? ...Really?"

- If you have pets, be prepared for them to absolutely despise him; so much so that the two of you probably have to hang out at his place almost all the time. They simply recognize that he's a dangerous creature and distrust him from the get go, growling or hissing at him before dashing away or trying to protect you. He occasionally mocks them when you're not around; playing into the legitimate rivalry that they have going on, but once he realizes how important it is to you for them to like him, he tries to bribe them into acting nicer towards him; which ends up partially working so yay.

- He can literally lift an entire car, so expect him to treat you like you weigh nothing, regardless of your actual size; especially when he's horny....

- Speaking of: he sometimes gets legitimately feral after feeding, so don't be surprised when he returns home or finds you somewhere in town and behaves as though he needs to jump you immediately; and passionately at that. One minute you'll be cooking dinner and the next, you'll be on the counter with a tongue down your throat. ...You're truly a victim.

- Sampling his blood from time to time; though it's a dangerous game: both because it's addictive and because Jerry goes feral for blood drunk you. It becomes really hard for him to control himself so it can easily lead to him actually turning you.

- Expect your boyfriend to ask for selfies whenever you text him that you're going somewhere or doing something. He gets legitimately grumpy over the fact that he can't take selfies with you. Like he lowkey sulks a little whenever he has to politely decline someone's offer to take photos of the two of you together, or when he overhears you telling your friends that he really doesn't like pictures. He just wants to take middle aged man pics with his PYT!!

- His entire phone is full of photos of you; so is his Facebook, and everyone thinks that it's absolutely adorable, calling you so lucky to have a boyfriend who loves you enough to only have photos of you on his wall. They might be a little confused, because you'd expect someone as attractive as Jerry to post himself, but they certainly don't tell you that.

- When Jerry picks you up from work; a fairly common occurrence, you always just assume that it's because he wants to be a good boyfriend and make sure you that get home safe. And while that may be the case, he also has some ulterior and self serving motives as well. Jerry; while a loving partner, is also still a monster, so when he comes to your place of employment and charms your coworkers, he's not only being friendly, but also trying to ensure that they trust him enough to let their guards down; which is especially handy when the two of you get into a fight. He also just likes flaunting your relationship and making people jealous so....

- Jerry loves you with every fiber of his being but he simply doesn't get jealous over you. A big part of it is the fact that he takes pride in having things that other people want; takes pride in winning, and he knows that none of them have even a fraction of what he does; that the two of you are made for each other. He's a very "I know she loves me" and "how could you ever think that she'd be interested in you?" kind of person.

- Regardless, he still enjoys rubbing his relationship in other people faces and passive aggressively bragging whenever he knows that someone is interested in you; or giving them a knowing look that tells them that he's well aware of their feelings for you and that he finds them very amusing. He's a smug bastard.

- It isn't often that Jerry worries about your safety, mainly because he's an immortal demon who's capable of doing terrible things in order to take care of you. But, occasionally, he'll find himself worrying about not being able to look out for you whenever you're out in the sun. To combat this, he makes sure to take care of all of your issues during the night; or makes you convert to his nocturnal schedule. You're looking at a man who can pick off half a town in a single night just because he wants to: rest assured that he's doing the utmost when faced with someone threatening your safety, comfort, or happiness in literally any way.

- Jerry always tries to stay calm whenever you're in an argument or a fight; he doesn't like losing his temper with you or making you feel hurt in any lasting way. So while he'll occasionally be a little rude or downplay your feelings, he's typically a pretty easy person to resolve an issue with. He lets you rant when you need to and listens to you be a little ridiculous at times; even if he might make a couple of incredulous faces, so you'll usually just tire yourself out to where you're ready to apologize or listen to him explain.

- Because he can occasionally downplay your feelings, you sometimes opt to give him the silent treatment, which he tolerates for a day or two before he's coming over and demanding to talk because you're "being ridiculous and you know it". He'll knock on your door and sigh, and while his apologies might occasionally sound a little insincere; very "alright, alright, I'm sorry, okay?", he usually genuinely means them; even if it's just because he doesn't like hurting your feelings or because he didn't mean for things to come out the way they did.

- He can occasionally be a little manipulative, but that's only because he really loves you and doesn't want you leaving him whenever he scares you with his vampirism or makes you question his character. He's a cold blooded killer so you'll occasionally have some differences of opinion and morality; which is when he turns on the charm and tries to sway you towards forgiving him or otherwise not breaking up with/leaving him.

- He usually tells you that he loves you in response to hearing you say it, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't genuinely mean it. He simply tends to prove his love instead of outwardly saying it; unless he wants to reassure you that he cares for you whenever you're feeling a certain type of way.

- Jerry definitely intends on turning you sometime fairly soon, wanting to spend the rest of eternity with you and guarantee your safety. It's up to you to decide whether you're interested in that. But if you really aren't, I'd suggest getting as far away from him as possible because he's definitely not against turning you "for the greater good". One day, you'll understand why he had to do it; even if it takes a little time....

[secretmellowblog]

My favorite bit of dialogue from Les Mis 1.1.10 is from the exchange where the Bishop and the revolutionary are discussing the death of one of the Royal children during the revolution:

“I will weep with you over the children of kings, provided that you will weep with me over the children of the people.”

“I weep for all,” said the Bishop.

“Equally!” exclaimed conventionary G——; “and if the balance must incline, let it be on the side of the people. They have been suffering longer.”

I don't know, I think it's a perfect encapsulation of why the bishop's "All lives matter, we should feel sorry for Everyone equally" philosophy was incomplete. The bishop's privileged aristocratic background means he doesn't necessarily understand how to take this systemic inequality into account when choosing who to grieve and who to forget. The death of a king's child is a horrible tragedy beyond words and proof that the rebels are heartless monsters.....but the deaths of thousands of non-royal children under the reign of tyrannical kings, as a direct result of those kings' policies, are quietly forgotten by him. Until the Conventionary pointed it out, the Bishop couldn't see that "weeping for all" isn't enough when some lives are treated as if they're inherently far more expendable. It also makes me think of the fact that there are, for example, so many pieces of media about the suffering of Poor Girlboss Marie Antoinette to the point where its almost its own subgenre. And there's that entire subgenre like A Tale of Two Cities/The Scarlet Pimpernel that's about how Hard it was to be an aristocrat around dirty deranged French Revolution peasants. And period/fantasy media as a whole loves to focus on the struggles of royalty and the upper class. Like yeah, everyone can experience pain/trauma regardless of their social class- and yeah theoretically we should weep for everyone's pain equally. But as the Conventionary points out.... it's interesting how the pain of one small group of privileged people is treated with far much more importance, and is focused on so much more often, while the pain of a much larger group of people is utterly forgotten. "Weeping for all" often only means, weeping for the powerful and important people who were considered worthy of being remembered. And in that vein I think it's relevant that multiple main characters in Les Mis end up being buried in nameless or unmarked graves.

[fefairys]

"The way Vriska introduces herself to John says everything about her, and about their relationship, and really, her relationship with everyone. She forcefully interrupts a moment that is deeply important and emotional to him, thereby probably denying that opportunity from ever happening again, just so she can insert herself into his life and force him to pay attention to her. Now here she is again, being kind of rude (e.g. calling him stupid), but more than that, being vaguely obsequious overall, which is something about her I was harping on in the last book. Vriska cozies up to certain kinds of people, namely those she wants something from or feels will elevate her status by association. John's the perfect mark for the manipulative, ass-kissing games she plays. Since we're in the Vriska Zone now and forever, I'll just keep talking about her. It bears more examination of how her manipulation strategy seems to deftly blend ass-kissing and aggression. Successfully manipulative, sociopathically charismatic people tend to have this balance down to a science. The strategy seems to involve controlling the interplay between flattery, appealing to common interests, charming or flirtatious rhetoric, and little jabs, negs, or outright insults to keep the target off-balance. The target gets sort of hooked by the fascinating spectacle, intrigued, and strangely disarmed. Too much flattery results in suspicion, too much negativity is a turn-off (or taken to an extreme like Karkat, results in not being taken seriously at all). The barbs mixed in with the flattery are effective because they lead the target to think, "If this person really wants something from me, why would they insult me?" Of course, this is how pick-up artists operate, which isn't far off from Vriska's mindset when pursuing her goals—which, although more broad than romantic goals, are still mixed in with them, with the end result being part of the overall power play. Over the course of her tactics focused on John to make herself more relevant, when actual romantic designs start seeping into the fabric of her manipulation campaign, that's when it all starts to get...A Little Bit Weird.

We've already seen a lot of Vriska's tactics on display in Hivebent, with mixed results. By now she's had a lot of practice, and she's bringing all her skills to bear on the perfect rube for her schemes, this nerdy, gullible Egbert kid. The romantic angle that surfaces from this effort, as I just implied, is vaguely troubling. How else to describe it... ? Icky, maybe? Something is off about it, and we feel that more than John does, obviously because we know a lot more about her than he does. For Vriska, are the romantic desires real? Is she such a mess inside that she wouldn't be able to tell whether the feelings are genuine or not? It's more likely that it's all about the ego boost, the power trip involved with grooming this hapless fool into the thing she wants him to be, and hoodwinking him into feeling something for her. But for him, it's probably more sincere. His first awkward experience with romance, albeit one contrived by a manipulator. Too bad he has no idea that none of this even has anything to do with him. It's still just about Vriska's gamesmanship with Terezi, who is another person exhibiting many of the aforementioned qualities of a manipulator. Terezi just uses hers to target a different boy. Both are highly successful with their boywork, but they take very different approaches." -Andrew Hussie

[arirovi]

“The Girl Who Loves Smiles” is an evocative and provocative chapter, which “shows” before “tells.”

I think most of the reactions I saw about the chapter reflected that.

From the first moment, the chapter was evoking memories of the plot and the characters in us and with great ease. We all wanted it to be about Ochako, because the title alluded to her and consequently, also to Toga, and it was (but not in the way i'd expected).

On a personal level, I was hoping for a more direct and concrete resolution on them. I wanted to know if Toga is still alive or not. Find out if Ochako knows anything about her current state and how she is facing the end of her own battle.

Would the chapter present a final confrontation between the two?

Looking back, I think expectations played tricks on me again, but that's because, as a human being, I look for patterns everywhere. The pace of resolution of the previous two chapters had been just what I expected from this last one: a direct and concrete resolution, both for Todoroki facing Touya with his family, and for Izuku facing Spinner.

The change of narrative pace in this chapter, I think, affected many of us quite drastically and I have the feeling that this abrupt and unexpected change was put there with the intention of provoking us, but not in the sense of making us anxious (for the idea that there is not enough time to tie up all the loose ends), nor addressing the typical revenge speech of those who like a certain ship (we all know which one).

I think it was intended to evoke Ochako's motivation as a hero and provoke a real emotional connection with her in her process to endure that weight (at this particular moment).

The first time the chapter shows us Ochako, she is literally and figuratively silent (her mouth is covered), as they talk about Shoto, Kacchan, and Izuku's central role in the war. Of course, she was also a part of it, so why isn't she also included for her merits? And so, the first hint that someone is feeling pain appears in the form of an sfx, which is evocative of his own battle with Toga. The way of showing this, in white, invites us to remember what she did almost by force (since there are no flash backs), rather than focusing on the present plot.

Then she disappears from the scene for a moment and what are we supposed to do with these seemingly inconsequential pages? While I was glad to see how things improved on a social level; how Kacchan, Edgeshot, and the rest were inching forward, I was still bothered by why now?, when there's a bigger part about Ochako to address? Then Ochako returns to being the focal point and her first words are in response to what a civilian said, reaffirming what we already know: that everything is going better. However, just as she appears falsely cheerful, we as readers are forced to place our attention on these distractions instead of the pain (like Ochako did to).

It's frustrating and it's painful that everything seems to move so fast but in slow motion at the same time, that everything feels so superficial and mundane, when there is something more important that should be happening under the surface. And why does everyone seem so optimistic so quickly? Where is the feeling of the aftermath of something so terrible? The guilt? The trauma? The emotional resolution?

The thing is, we've been provoked to feel like Ochako all along. The narrative, so far, shows us what Ochako wants to see, the day-to-day life that Ochako struggles to experience, because it's what she supposes she should do and feel about it no matter what (and us with her).

And then, Tsuyu comes to tell us other thing that we were already shown before: Ochako is not responding, but not only to the most obvious thing, the text message, but to her surroundings and not to her friends either.

Now is when the “telling” becomes the center of everything: Ochako directly explains to us why she was not included in the group of heroes, her companions, who gained admirers (there were no recordings). She tells us, like an echo while reaffirming it to herself, that everything is improving, that the city looks like before, that it is time to be optimistic and positive because the war is over. She reminds us that he has been hiding his own pain because she loves seeing people smile, since that is a sign that they are happy moving forward.

However, even though she is saying it, she does not remember any smile of her classmates in particular (the words are on a black background) and instead, the only smile she remembers is Toga's, but whose image is tinged with the pain of his battle scar (which at the same time represents special, intimate connection with her).

In a few pages, all the evocation and provocation increase in a crescendo until reaching the point of no return. Ochako can no longer suppress the truth and neither can we: that the one smile she apparently couldn't save weighs more on her than all the other smiles she can see day after day.

It is a very intimate chapter, which seeks to incite a feeling of empathy and vulnerability with the character.

I don't know about you, but I felt very vulnerable too while watching her break down.

With this slow and almost artificial, forced rhythm, I felt that she invited me to live this repressed pain with her and to hope that, somehow, there is a kinder way out that does justice to everything she is having to endure.

And yeah, i hope the next chapter goes well.

[nebula-remnants]

oh man... you have no idea what i'm about to drop on you all.

HEY!!! so. I made a GIANT list of headcanons for Sun and Moon that are all autism related since I have an excuse to now. I gave twitter a warning but I forgot to here so sorry to anyone who clicks to keep reading and goes into this post unprepared.

I did want to make an attempt to make this easy to read so, Green is just going to be for regular but still have some in depth meaning for why it's on this list, Orange is for a headcanon that is more serious!! I try to word myself correctly and explain why these ones are important in the case of accurate. (sometimes PAINFULLY accurate) representation. I wanted to go in depth for symptoms that are less discussed. so i'm going to discuss them the best I can regardless because their just as important to representation. ideas that stray from canon and are more my interpretations of how I think they'd act in certain situations will be pink

Both get frustrated when you mess with their stuff (this could just be a cleanliness deal for the daycare exclusively, however the barrels aren’t exactly a major mess since there are so few of them, so it can also be taken as wanting items a certain way. I kind of headcanon it as a bit of both tbh

I think Sun would have a strong sense of justice. He is a “hero” character as far as old theater traits go. And his canon behavior suggests he’s both petty and controlling of his environment. I believe those traits are a result of his current situation, but with this headcanon a sense of justice would go in perfectly because it means he’s strongly bound to his moral beliefs. Now it’s good to mention a strong sense of justice is NOT always a good thing!! Having a strong sense of justice does not automatically mean someone has all the correct moral beliefs, but it can sometimes make people self righteous (especially when they aren’t self aware.) but anyways moral righteousness does not always mean correctness!! I really like this headcanon especially because it’s complex, it falls into morally gray areas. Has good intentions but can hurt people by accident. Some of this applies to Moon too but I have less canon material to work with.

I think Moon would go COMPLETELY non verbal when upset, but it would go easily unnoticed because people might just assume he’s always quiet. which y'know. isn't okay obviously, but for his circumstance I do feel it would be at least accurate.

I don’t think they would know about being autistic themselves. LET ME EXPLAIN. So if the Fallfest thing is right they’re potentially from the 70s, that makes them old. Plus they’re robots. It’s not like someone realistically would go and diagnose them with autism, unless like, the guy that made them was autistic and was projecting onto them HARD. but what i’ve noticed from older family members that went nearly their whole life without a diagnosis?? They kind of just. Suffer and think it’s normal. My father has ADHD and kind of went most of his life thinking he was just a problematic kid in school, actually i still think he does 😭 (spoiler: he had a hard time focusing on subjects he wasn’t hyper fixated on and was treated without any accommodations even considered) the reason i bring this up for Sun and Moon is i think they sort of just go about their business thinking it’s normal and everyone experiences those things. So basically I think they’d be undiagnosed in the fnaf universe (or could have some outdated information about autism stored somewhere, like I even did a few years ago. because in my opinion I haven't really seen any widespread information until more recently and that's how I found out LATER in my life, when some damage was already done). Someone tell them please

I think masking would be minimum, they probably try a little bit but give up and decide they don’t care anymore (like I said, it’s possible that they’re older, so give them a break)

On the topic of not being aware of symptoms I headcanon Moon (or at least pre security breach one, maybe, idk) as the kind of autistic to have a hard time realizing he’s upsetting or genuinely scaring people. He’s being whimsical, but like, wouldn’t realize unless specifically told so. I don’t believe a potential nicer form of moon would be there to intentionally hurt people (i don’t like the idea of him being evil just BECAUSE) but i think he could still cause all kinds of distress by accident. I certainly don’t think he’s shy (and i believe Kellon Goff corrected himself in a later tweet and said Moon wasn’t exactly shy himself but he used a shy part of his life to bring Moon to life, if i remember correctly (correct me if i’m wrong bruh i don’t wanna misquote the man himself 😭)) Canon Moon probably isn’t shy but instead he gets to be fluent in being awkward in a conversation

I mean don’t get me wrong I adore the idea of shy moon but it’s most likely not going to be anything we see in canon. But in an au? Or in your own headcanon? Go crazy, make that man shy, be a little self indulgent. You’re not required to stick to canon to a tee.

I definitely think Sun and Moon would have clashing sensory needs. being opposites but also having a common root in an issue whether they want it to be there or not is like their whole thing. A lot of clashing except maybe the clicking they do. They fidget and click a LOT and the clicks are so pleasant to my brain so i think that could be maybe a similarity. As far as clashing sensory needs I think, y’know, if they were to be given separate bodies, because I actually really like that idea of seeing how their dynamic plays out that way (lots of fighting, so much fighting)... I DONT CARE IF IT MOST LIKELY WON’T BE A THING IN CANON BECAUSE OF THE DYNAMIC STEEL WOOL IS LEANING INTO SHSHHSHSHSH I CAN DREAM. 

Anyways I think Moon would have sensory issues related to lights (duh) and sound (MAYBE sun for sound too, if he has less control of it. Just because he’s generally louder doesn’t mean he couldn’t have an issue with unwarranted sound. And if anything, in the daycare I think that would contribute to his burnout MORE.) thought i definitely think Moon would be more reactive to noise and lights considering he’s much less used to them (that doesn’t exactly dwindle sun’s ability to become overstimulated to a sound because he’s used to it, but he might have a much more subtle response to it after a while like the snappy behavior/burnout in hw2. While I imagine Moon for once having a much more obvious response. (kind of like how he reacts to the lights in ruin but probably only half as much)

I think they both reacted to overstimulation through getting snappy, so like in an au where they’re physically separated and they have clashing sensory needs that’s… an easy argument starter. Visibly doing some small behavior that screams irritation on Sun’s part. And moon probably stares at you, but angrily (you can’t tell because he doesn’t have fucking eyelids)

I think the movements they do in canon are some form of stimming. Like I mentioned before, I think they enjoy the clicking. Moon does the movements with his head and rotating his face a LOT. and i began associating it with stimming a while ago. As for negative stims when stressed and anxious. Their wires are exposed. There may not be evidence for it but maybe that’s something they mess with. Also, no evidence for this but I felt like there damage in ruin was both from the situation and themselves, can be taken as a more self destructive (kind of like how scratching/hair pulling can be considered stimming at times for humans) but most likely accidental form of this. Or more likely a stress habit and causing more damage from fighting for control (idk man I kind of lost myself on this one)

Also!! The staff bot parts in their room, and later in Ruin more parts from endos are present. I think they fidget with parts on occasion. This strays from autism related headcanons but Those parts being there in the first place i think is Moon’s doing, and based on his behavior in ruin along with similar cases recorded in security breach i take it as frustration/misguided anger. And eventually because those parts are yk, there after Moon did whatever it is he may have done, i wouldn’t be surprised if the stuff in their room is occasionally fidgeted with as a distraction. The only evidence I really have for this is that in Ruin those items are all sorted. Someone was doing something as a distraction.

There’s no way they would be flirted with in a roundabout way and immediately understand, you need to be DIRECT AND TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT!!!

I think Sun might easily misinterpret all kinds of things he's told, and be completely confident with his interpretation, while while recognize when he's a little unclear, decide it's probably not important if someone wasn't being clear, and then forget.

For whatever possible circumstance this would EVER come up I don’t think Moon would enjoy phone calls, nor would Sun but I think he likes yapping so he’d probably talk your ear off and then get really sidetracked. Moon would just respond with simple one word answers, or not all (me, i do that, i’m projecting) I don’t think Moon is shy in canon but i do headcanon he just, sucks at holding up a conversation (projecting again)

basically canon but hypo verbal Moon and hyper Verbal sun. (this gets a little too personal and realistic and a second) I just want to say that because it’s a trait associated with autism and instead of them just being considered too quiet or too loud, they are literally just being themselves. This also goes along with the idea where they wouldn’t realize they have autism, and just think whatever they’re doing is considered normal for everyone else so hey might recognize people think of them poorly but might not realize what someone has a stick up their ass about until someone is like “ermm you talk too much/too little 🙄” actually i definitely think they would get criticized on a daily basis for that. I have my own ideas about how they would react in an immediate situation vs over time after being told over and over again. And basically, I think Moon would kind of… NOT react at first but it would get to him later on and that’s when he goes completely quiet or makes sure to avoid people. I think Sun would react negatively on the dot (in one way or another) and stew in frustration for a bit, and sometimes it might come back to him on occasion.

A part of me wants to believe moon is capable of yapping but he spaces it out, like I think he’d randomly tell you a fact and then go quiet for a while. OR!!! OR!! He’d tell you a joke then wait for you to laugh as he stares at you intensely and silently.

I think Moon would mutter to himself a lot, but so quiet and muddled from an outside perspective it's completely incoherent. Sun too but a little easier to hear. Speak out loud in a quiet voice but still loud enough that still makes people briefly pause wandering if he’s speaking to them.

What if they were both heat sensitive… imagine getting to go outside (if they were part of Fallfest than maybe first time and years) but it’s during the summer, and they're both fatigued and miserable. I see a lot of people say sun would absolutely love summer, but considering if he is from Fallfest, and assuming they shut off animatronics when not in use, he’d realistically he might not even be used to summer at all. Then in this case it would actually be sort of an ironic situation where he grows to dislike summer heat.

okay ya'll I think it's done for NOW. I have a few I left out because they were half baked, or too vague for what I wanted to say so I may edit or add onto this in the future. a whole load of this ideas are also things I wanted to implement into my AU so!!

UGRHHHH IK I HAVE AUTISM BUT ITS NOT LIKE I EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING MENTIONED HERE SO I HOPE I DIDN'T MESS UP ANYTHING BUT LET ME KNOW!!

[illegiblewords]

SOME ILLEGIBLE RAMBLES AND REFLECTIONS: THE DEAD THREE

Finished my first/main playthrough of Baldur’s Gate 3, and it’s had me turning over all sorts of ideas tied to Dungeons and Dragons lore. A bunch happens to be about cosmology so I'm slapping together one post about the Dead Three and a follow-up about deities more generally. Buckle up if you decide to proceed dudes. This is chunky and opinion/interpretation heavy. CW for mention (not extensive) of graphic violence and sex crimes during discussion of Bhaal and Yeenoghu.

MYRKUL

I get that there are multiple death-affiliated deities in DnD. Our buddy Jergal is the end of all things and the original incarnation of the concept. Myrkul stands for the experience of dying, decay, necromancy, graves, bones, and the fear of mortality. Kelemvor rules over the dead. Orcus is a demon lord and quasi-deity of undeath. Could prob go on.

I've read many different incarnations of death over the years. To set the stage on my Myrkul read, it bears mentioning that Terry Pratchett's Death is probably my favorite. I don't have it in me to see death as something totally malicious. It's very natural, and I tend to imagine that if there were to be an incarnation embodying it this persona would have an intimate view of all the love and grief, vulnerability and intimacy, ugliness and solitude, etc. that mortals deal with. Death has witnessed the end every living being faces, from the dawn of creation until now. Even if it isn't consciously accessed at all moments, death is ancient and experienced and not likely to be shocked by what mortals are capable of anymore. Mortals are small. Uncountably numerous though we are we are far outnumbered by the unliving. What are lives next to planets, to stars? Here I'd argue against assigning value according to how big or small something is, how eternal or how brief, how simple or complex. Everything that is, is a universe unto itself and deserves the gravity of that. It is also very mundane at the same time. To me, death needs to be able to balance the preciousness and commonality of life, of existence, on the tip of its scythe. Death needs to be able to deal with the most depraved beings to exist, but also with every beloved pet put to sleep. Every lost child or parent. Everyone who dies surrounded by loved ones and everyone who dies alone.

Initially, even knowing Myrkul in particular had been a mortal necromancer and not of particular moral standing--I had mixed feelings about him being the evilest of evil skeletons. He worked it well, but the idea of any aspect of death (or any character tbh) being flat evil felt off to me. Especially with 'we're all the protagonists of our own stories' being at work. People don't often look at what actions they'd consider to be evil then go 'I'm going to make myself that on purpose'. Disregarding morality maybe, but being evil on purpose is weird.

So I looked into further lore about Myrkul. One spot that gave me pause was that Myrkul as death (rather than the adventurer Myrkul Bey al-Kursi he’d once been) revels in inspiring fear of death and driving home experiences of loss. From what I found he isn't focused on the name of the individual holding the office of death, but for the force itself being feared. He can be bribed, and he will allow for necromancy/resurrections--but the fear and gravity of death is a sacred thing to him. Disregarding that is a pretty good way to get onto Myrkul's shitlist. I want to take a moment to emphasize the importance of Myrkul focusing on his portfolio over his own ego. That is far from a given in the DnD pantheon, and like I said he's a former mortal himself. It wouldn't be out of the question for him to be a petty and insecure deity. He could have been the sort of guy where becoming a god of death by itself wasn't enough power. If Myrkul was a different person, he might have wanted people to stroke his ego and say how strong he is. He might have been someone who felt inadequate as a god without that affirmation. He could have (as a character) been unsatisfied and forever wanting/dependent upon the views of others to define himself. The fact that he DOES focus on death and decay as forces rather than himself is a big deal in reading him imo.

Anyway. Myrkul's emphasis on death as something feared got me thinking about what would cause a person to put such weight on death being understood in its negative aspect. It struck me that this is actually a very common and even important thing. You don't need to demonize death to see it, either. If you value life as sacred, the idea of life being treated as cheap or disposable is horrifying. When you love something dearly, the idea of that beloved thing being defaced is beyond outrage. It's a kind of sacrilege. People who kill as casually as breathing, who revel in the permanent destruction of someone else, become a source of horror. The absence of love creates a sort of cruelty that can't even perceive itself. And it's not uncommon for human beings in particular to partake in this. Humans dance on the graves of those they deem enemies not because they're relieved to be safe, but because they glory in the end of other lives. They don't recognize that anything of value was lost. There is no tragedy in death anymore. Every gentle moment, every vulnerability, every tragedy in their opponent's life is something to be crapped on and gloated over. There is no greater insult to life itself. Myrkul stands as a reminder that such behavior cannot stand. You can't treat life or death as cheap. To see something horrific and fail to realize the weight of its horror is itself a form of horror. The idea of a death that demands to be acknowledged for what it is, particularly by the living, imo actually denotes a level of care for life too. It might be harsh or ugly, but I don't know about evil. So while Myrkul is certainly flawed and often serves as an antagonist, I’d argue the function he performs is not only important but necessary.

And while it might vary between players, I found Aylin's enthusiastic executions and body defiling pretty uncomfortable. I understand she went through a lot and am fine with her as a character. But I think Myrkul's point stands if the audience feels even a moment of disquiet seeing her celebrate over the corpse of a broken person.

Some things are meant to be ugly.

BANE

Of the Dead Three I find Bane the most disturbing and dangerous tbh—but not for how Gortash invokes him. Way I see it, the other word for tyranny is authoritarianism on a macro-level, abuse on an individual level.

I’d argue that in life, we can only healthily control ourselves and our own individual actions/choices. We can try to persuade others or appeal to their judgment, but we can’t MAKE another person think or act how we wish. When folks attempt otherwise (individually or more broadly) it involves fear, force, deceit, or other forms of pressure. Coercion, enslavement. These fall under the umbrella of tyrannical practice to me. You treat another person as subhuman and strip them of agency.

We don’t live in a pure and ideal world. If a tyrannical person is committing crimes and denying others their free will through force, I wouldn’t call defense through force tyrannical as long as it wasn’t needlessly excessive. Power struggles exist. But the whole practice of using fear, force, deceit, or pressure to control another person is dangerous imo. They're to be utilized as little as possible.

In DnD I don’t think the fringe evil cults would be the ones most at risk for corruption by Bane. I don't think individuals or groups who prioritize self-indulgence would be most at risk, either. The most dangerous and frequent disciples of Bane imo would be within good alignment. This means followers of benevolent gods as well as the nations or groups that consider themselves to have righteous causes. ESPECIALLY those with chips on their shoulders.

When someone assumes they have and always will have the moral high ground, that they are incapable of committing injustice, that their end justifies whatever means, that it doesn’t count as abuse with the 'correct' target… that, to me, is where tyranny festers. The person convinced of their own moral infallibility is the one who sees no need for brakes and so cuts them without concern.

I’d argue everybody has a seed of tyranny in them that can be fed or starved. We feed that seed with our own indignation to become a tyrant victimizing others while still seeing ourselves as powerless. The person who first victimized you can still also be victimized by you. There isn’t a target that exists where finding joy in cruelty gets a pass.

Bane, I think, thrives on the idea that it's no problem if you're enforcing your will. Especially on people contemptible to you.

For DnD purposes, imagine you have zealous followers of idk Tyr. They are willing to do whatever it takes to enforce and spread their definition of justice. They believe in making examples of people at every opportunity. They torture, isolate, rob, and shame those they consider to be unjust or dangerous. If their victims are falsely accused—well. It’s for a noble purpose so the sacrifice is not in vain. And imagine Tyr abandons these followers as hypocrites. He no longer empowers clerics or paladins no matter how they cite scripture or brand ‘heretics’ with his symbols.

Bane doesn’t enter calling himself Bane, god of tyranny. Bane claims to follow a higher justice. Maybe he uses an avatar, maybe he chooses a Banite disciple, maybe he finds a true believer. But he argues that Tyr as an individual was never ultimately what those zealots stood for—it was justice itself. And if Tyr has turned traitor to his own portfolio, mortals need to go over his head to the core concept and implement that. Bane offers a name that suits his purposes and begins sourcing power to clerics and paladins instead. And throughout, as the zealots commit increased atrocities against those they deem dangerous or evil they fail to realize they’ve spiraled into evil alignment after all. They’d think they were either just as good as they’d always been OR BETTER. The compassion of Ilmater is spent on the depraved and corrupt as far as they’re concerned.

I think the real threat of Bane is that he should be 100% capable of corrupting an otherwise heroic party member if they aren’t wary of that capacity in themself. You suddenly find your friend who listened to your problems and supported you through awful shit mocking a person sobbing on the ground as they kick them. And that friend looks betrayed and hurt (or outraged) if you challenge their actions, because they think you should know exactly how disgusting this piece of shit is and how much they deserve the abuse. And even if you concede that individual case—it’s not the only one. The slights worthy of torment become smaller and smaller. A thought or word out of line betrays the ideology of an evil alignment, with the only solution being to beat thoughts and words out of the target until they can only repeat approved ideas back. And even then, it may not be enough.

If it was explicitly confirmed that the deity the zealot followed was Bane all along, the zealot might genuinely not believe it. They might get pissed at the very suggestion. What they do against the wicked isn’t tyranny after all. They’re righteous.

Denial doesn’t serve to disempower Bane in the least if tactics remain unchanged.

BHAAL

I’m holding off on more detailed Bhaal thoughts until I complete a dark urge run, but I’ve listened to lore on both him and the demon lord Yeenoghu recently—and I think there’s room for a really cool potential contrast.

Yeenoghu Lore

Providing this particular video link for the curious, as a way to help illustrate what I’m drawing from.

Yeenoghu holds the title as demon lord of slaughter. He glories in filth, rape, excessively graphic murder, torture, violence, and playing with corpses along the way. He’s meant to come across as a bestial, self-absorbed, remorseless desecrater. And when I say bestial, I want to draw attention to a particular IRL factoid that might be worth considering.

I love animals to bits. I don’t think animals generally contemplate morality the way humans do just due to cognitive differences and limitations. I also think it’s important to remember that humans are ALSO animals, so certain things umbrella’d under ‘human experience’ would probably apply to at least some animals too. If there are human altruists and human serial killers, we should be able to expect that animals likewise have some altruists and some serial killers within the scope of individual variation.

Cruelty is not exclusive to humans. Orcas will essentially torture smaller animals to death by flinging them into the air with their tails repeatedly like balls until repeated beatings and suffocation kill them. Dolphins commit rape and chew on live puffer fish to get high off the toxins. Chimpanzees are a horror unto themselves with cannibalism and mutilation and basically whatever atrocity they can commit. Wolves and cats sometimes hunt to excess just for the joy of it and don’t eat all they kill. Hannibal the swan (as a specific and notably homicidal individual) beat and drowned any other swans visiting his pond and showed his signet how to do it. I could go on. Some cases it might be a matter of the animal not having theory of mind to recognize that they are inflicting pain on another conscious creature. Other times, like with pissed off chimpanzees, they know EXACTLY what they’re doing and it’s on purpose to cause maximum suffering.

I think Yeenoghu should embody a little bit of both propensities. He’s just utterly self-absorbed and doesn’t give a fuck about the experiences or perspectives of other living things except insofar as they impact him.

Bhaal I want to research more like I said, but one thing I remember from my initial play through was finding a note from the Dark Urge to Orin.

Little sister, whatever in the Gray Wastes are we going to do with you? Bhaal will never care that you waste your time, posing your corpse-dollies. Bhaal doesn’t care whether you give him the corpse of a pauper or a king. At the end of the day, all Father wants is death in droves, death in numbers. To sap away the life of this dull world as swiftly and widely as we can. You plan, you plot, you prevaricate, and you waste his time. Bhaal doesn’t need us to think. He needs us to kill. You kill beautifully, and have talents in your shapes’ magics that I never will. But you do not understand Lord Bhaal. Perhaps it is a failing of your diluted blood, as a mere grandchild. I am his sole living pureblood. I will accept no challenge from you, until you show some damned respect.

To be honest this is interesting af to me because it positions Orin a bit more in-line with Yeenoghu’s modus operandi in some ways. But what sets apart the principles of Bhaal from Yeenoghu or Myrkul?

The Dark Urge suggests the goal of Bhaal is the extinction of all life, but to be honest I’m a bit skeptical. Seems like short term thinking. Even if Bhaal pulled that off, once it’s done there is no more murder or god of murder for that matter. If Bhaal is aiming for a cessation of existence and wants everyone else along for the ride maybe that’s what he’s after, but I dunno. That seems like something fans/players/loremasters would have touched on before.

I’d like to invite this possibility for foiling instead:

Life consumes other life by nature. Animals, plants, fungi, bacteria, so forth—it isn’t just a matter of philosophy. One life cannot exist without destroying another. We need to eat. If we don’t, we die well before reproduction enters the picture. But it’s more than that… you take a step, you kill countless tiny organisms you aren’t even aware of. You swat a fly. You hit something with your car. You move gracelessly or touch carelessly, and catastrophe ensues. Etcetera.

It is inevitable that your existence will mean the end for the life of another living thing. That’s just how it goes.

It could be interesting on a LOT of fronts (both as members of the dead three and as former adventuring companions) if Bhaal acted as a kind of philosophical opposite to Myrkul the way I previously described.

If the Dark Urge’s note is to be trusted, Bhaal has no interest in ritual or glorified death per se. Bhaal would be more about the mundanity that comes through the act of killing. Life is fragile as-is and often ended by accident. Killing in its most common form is thoughtless and unconscious. To Bhaal, if every life is a universe then the universe looks meaningless. There is no importance or fanfare to any of it. If one side is ‘everything matters, give weight to life and death’, Bhaal would be ‘nothing matters, we are not capable of affording reverence to every single life and death we encounter’. More specifically, the mass deaths Bhaal favors would be a kind of illustration of the uncaring and casual relationship living things have with killing other living things. The more casual and effortless it is, the more I’d imagine it serves Bhaal. Sadism and revelry miss the point—there is no hierarchy. Suffering is inconsequential. Fear is inconsequential. Instinct is inconsequential. To live is to kill by Bhaal’s logic.

It isn’t limited to murder in the sense of a member of one species killing a member of the same species. It’s more Bhaal is the god of killing. He’d gain power from murder too sure, but also hunting, harvesting, and butchering. With these interpretations in-mind, we can actually figure out how the Dead Three might have answered Jergal's question about what worth a mortal life holds. With the disclaimer this is very much conjecture. I think Myrkul would likely be "Each life is of infinite value and merits sacrificing everything for." That lends life a heavy weight and makes death a fearful force for all. It would also mesh with Ketheric as his chosen. Bane would lean into "That depends on a person's deeds", "The only life that matters is mine", or "Depends on the mortal". From those positions, the speaker argues for a hierarchy of life where some is more expendable than the rest. It's easier from that position to slide into adopting a role as judge and executioner, and from elevating yourself into a role of authority where other voices and experiences count less than your own. Bhaal I think is reflected in "Life’s only value is as currency. Doesn’t matter to me otherwise", "The only life that matters is mine", or "No one life is worth more than any other. We are equal." Bhaal has the implicit question in-turn: what is the blood-price of your own life? How much have you claimed in your own name to keep moving? It's kind of the belief that while "The only life that matters is mine" is Bhaal's answer, every other living thing should be answering the same way. There's more nuance than that of course, and likely truth falls somewhere in the middle. We aren't mentally capable of giving reverence to every death, but we can recognize in general terms and do our best case-by-case. We have a right to protect ourselves and what we love, but others share that right.

Feel free to offer different stances or thoughts though, and if you made it this far goddamn thank you for reading this monster.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Wanted to share a few more things to keep in mind when writing about a man of color who has ADHD. I really hope most people know why presenting Ed as messy and unable to take care of himself without a White man's help is racist and bad, but there are a lot of other things I see that make me (a brown man with AuDHD) uncomfortable!

If you have ADHD, it's obviously okay to see yourself in a character! But it's important to keep in mind how they might come across as racist when you're writing about a man of color.

Here are some things I see pretty often:

Implying that ADHD means Ed isn't smart or capable. He's canonically a genius! It's okay if he worries he's not smart enough and the text directly contradicts that fear, but please be sensitive to how other characters will perceive a man of color who is very successful and also has ADHD symptoms on top of that. Don't make it sound like bigots are right about Ed. This is a careful line to walk and if you're White I recommend finding a sensitivity reader if you're going this route.

People of color very often will not tell you if we have ADHD. I'm too used to finally getting to a point where people see me as capable, then casually mentioning I have ADHD, and then being treated like a child again. Straight up if you're White I'm not telling you, and when Ed goes around in fics telling everyone he meets, it takes me out of the story. Show his symptoms, have him mention it in his own narration, but he's probably not going to be telling Stede right after they meet. In one of my fics, the only time he ever tells anyone else he has ADHD, it's Zheng, and that's on purpose.

Don't imply that Ed is only successful because of White men keeping him in check. That's racist and gross.

ADHD does not make someone "hyperfocus" on relationships or drop established relationships at the drop of a hat. That is not something Ed does. Please stop making me read this one, people with ADHD have normal and complicated relationships just like everyone else.

And some things you could do instead:

Consider Ed's symptoms based on what we actually see in the show. He's easily exciteable, bouncy, and sensory-seeking, often seeking out touch and experiences.

Remember that everyone's tolerance levels are different. Some people with ADHD really can't sit still, but Ed isn't one of them. When he's focused and mentally in a good place, he has no trouble being still and quiet. When he's doing a boring, quiet task, or when he's feeling intense emotions, that's when he has trouble.

If you're writing about Ed struggling with his symptoms and feeling like a failure because of them - which does happen! I'll be feeling great because I'm succeeding at work and school and then feel awful because I realize I forgot a doctor's appointment! - please let the narrative and other characters challenge those thoughts.

Just...basically, if you're writing about an ADHD Ed, don't let the ADHD take away that he's a very smart, talented, successful, tidy man of color. Honestly if you're White and writing about Ed's ADHD based on your own experiences, I recommend looking into a sensitivity reader. I'm pretty much always happy to do a sensitivity read if you ask. :)

[svsss-fanon-exposed]

I find it interesting that the most controversial/widespread posts have been those relating to physical appearance/visual medium. Lbh's hair and body type and sqq's eyes. I wonder what's the underlying cause for this. Maybe because people get attached to designs they feel more protective of them? Just a thought.

Oh, I would say this is absolutely the case. Visual design choices are, after all, often symbolic reflections of parts of individuals' own selves in some way, or of other things that are important to them. Artists will also spend a lot of time and thought on creating their designs-- and in some ways, visual media and written media are also quite different. You don't need the visual contrast so much in a book, but you do need it more when it's pictures, because characters with good contrasts are pleasant to look at together.

I actually think the donghua designs create a sort of contrast too-- both by SQQ's lighter eyes to LBH's, but as well as with the broader silhouettes, where SQQ has flowing robes and hair and LBH's silhouette is tighter. Also in general, the black robes of adult LBH vs the teal & white. Western stylization just focuses more on body type+hair texture silhouette diversity, while eastern stylization is more about the clothing and hair-styling silhouette, in a broad generalization, so it's only natural that when people create their designs, especially for a media that is only written, like SVSSS before the donghua or official cover art came out, that they will draw influence from the background of their own culture in creating these designs, in addition to their own experiences.

It's difficult too in my position, because while I genuinely want to take a neutral look at trends and history and patterns and cultural influence as a scientific sort of examination, there are so many instances of attacks on character designs, which make both the artists and designers and the people who like those designs feel bad and just isn't productive, even if criticisms are genuine. Things should be talked over civily, without bashing, because a space where people are belittled and attacked is not a space where people can learn.

Anyway, everyone has reasons for their designs. Sometimes these may be rooted in stereotyping or westernization, but other times, they're based on personal reasons and don't actually have those roots. It's not my or anyone's place to declare, definitively, that someone is stereotyping (of course, there are some instances when things are very very obvious and that's a different story), I only try to explain what things i can so that people are then able to examine things for themselves. I do think it's everyone's own responsibility to look at their own biases and think about where their portrayal choices are sourced from, especially when engaging with a culture that isn't one's own. But I don't want people to get into a justification loop, because that's not going to help anyone-- just to honestly take a look at the why of things. Sometimes there's subconscious biases, sometimes it isn't about that. I don't know peoples' own experiences, so I'm not going to say what it is or isn't.

In the end, accountability is something that is definitely needed in sensitive areas like westernization or stereotyping. However, accountability is not dogpiling on someone. Instead, it's personally being open to consideration, to change, and to growth-- and we'll never have that in a hostile environment. People need to focus more on holding themselves accountable, and less on holding others accountable-- we all have unconscious biases. It's part of existing in any culture or environment, and it's a life-long process of examining them and growing in experience and knowledge. And I hope to contribute that knowledge wherever I can, and use what platform I have to foster that sort of gentler environment, where it's not about making people who genuinely didn't know things feel bad, but where it's okay to be wrong, and to learn and grow.

It's up to an individual to examine themselves when they hear new information. That doesn't mean everyone needs to change their designs to conform with Chinese beauty standards-- which have plenty of issues of their own, and shouldn't be taken as more "morally correct!" It's just so that as many people as possible can have as much information as possible, so they can make the best and most informed judgments and decisions they can about their own viewpoints and thought processes.

But yes, even saying all this, I can perfectly acknowledge that fan-designs of beloved characters hold a bit of their creator's heart. While creators can be imperfect, the experiences and emotions and care that these designs stem from is still genuine, and should be treated with gentleness and understanding.

No matter if someone's viewpoint is erroneous or just different from yours, it's important to remember that every person on the internet is a real, human person. Fandom culture can be so notoriously toxic-- and it's high time that people remember each other's humanity, and treat one another with compassion and understanding. That's the only way to create a better fandom space-- and ultimately, a better world.

[astroyongie]

Why Am I This Way - Psychology Answers

Note: hey guys! This will be a little series post mainly based on psychology. In order for me to congratulate myself for finally achieving my masters in clinical psychology I have decided to create these mini posts that will contain different questions that we often ask ourselves. In these questions I will provide psychological answers in which they will hopefully bring you a sense of understanding on yourself! Enjoy

“How Am I” Section

“I love to be alone.. am I weird?

What happens in the unconscious brain: 

To start off, it's important that we distinguish two types of people. the extroverts that focus on the exterior world and receive their energy from other people and the introverts that focus on their inner world and need to be alone to recharge their social batteries

For any interest in these type of personalities you can always check the works of Carl Jung, Isabel Briggs Myers and Katherine Briggs and the MBTI personalities 

Now is it weird that we love, need to be alone? Well no and it's perfectly normal. 

Social interactions are important and they influence one's mental health and well being but studies show that depending on your personality you will be more sensitive to one type of interaction.

Extroverts are the type that are influenced by their environment and introverts are focused on intention instead. 

Being alone allows the introvert to dig into his own self, and permits them to have access to fantasies inside their mind in order to recharge (contrary to extroverts that need to be around others to feel positive). Now we can ask, but are those daydreams and fantasies healthy? 

yes they are, contrary to the mainstream “oh day dream is a sign of mental illness”. No. everything needs to be balanced. Fantasy isn't something tangible but it doesnt stop being a fact. That way, the introvert shouldn't feel ashamed or say sorry for those fantasies that are fundamental for their well being and their functional self and perceptions. 

The fact of being alone allows one to think, it gives time to reflect on actions and events to process, it allows one to dream, and immerse in a positive comfort. introverts prefer to have deep conversations, instead of going for the superficial 

What happens inside the brain? Introverts are able to do quick information processing to the parts of the brain involved in inner experiences such as remembering, planning and problem-solving. This means that they are better at these areas than extroverts whom are not sensitive to dopamine and need to have rushes of adventures to release that hormone. 

On the other hand, introverts are also more sensitive to dopamine which is the reason why small interactions are enough to make them feel overstimulated. 

So it's not only a question of personality but also on how your brain is programmed.

So what can we do?

It’s important for everyone to understand boundaries and needs. Extroverts need to be around people not to feel depressed. introverts need to often be left alone to process events and recharge. when you are around one of these personalities, acknowledge their needs in order to become a better person for them

Introvert, your inner world is your safe place, a garden that needs to be taken care of. Keep your flowers bright and alive, and seek help when you feel that garden fading and becoming darker because that's when mental illness can snatch you.

The best thing you can do, extrovert and introvert, is benign yourself, to use your own resources and be your own initiative. Don’t follow what people expect of you, and instead follow what you need to feel secure and happy 

Now, you know where to work to become a better version of yourself

[bugsbenefit]

attraction in ST

or. oh god stop stripping the show of it's themes no please no it needs those, stopppp

actually making this post now bc i'm sick of people claiming anything remotely sexual or even kissing happening to the party (an opinion that often pops up in the context of byler) in s5 would be horrible, sexualising, or out of character for the show

ST has always had a realistic approach to kids growing into their sexualities. the show's never shied away from directly addressing sex and sexual feelings so i'm honestly amazed by the extremely puritan interpretation of the show. i'm assuming, in good faith, that a big part of it is coming from people not having seen the actual show in ages and are just forgetting how explicitly the show handles sexuality. instead of just assuming it's from culturally raised christian people, who feel uncomfortable seeing any portrayal of sexuality, no matter how tasteful or realistic

i'm also saying all this as an ace person myself, i get not being into sex and not wanting to see it. however, refusing to acknowledge entire themes of a fictional show just because i don't experience them is bizarre to me. sexuality is vitally important to a lot of the characters and isn't just there to be fun(gross). essentially, ST is the opposite of porn without plot

so just as a little reminder what's actually IN Stranger Things. canonically.

sorry i had this sc for ages and wanted to include it Somewhere, so here you go. at a little starter... dorry

also this is an old draft seeing the light of day now, if anything's worded weird it's bc i didn't read all of it over again so oops, grammar hard?

TLDR: the show has never shied away from explicitly addressing sexuality. buying into the puritan fanon version of the show is going to make your s5 viewing experience worse because that show doesn't exist

season 1

we're starting the show off with Stancy, which is very sexually charged in general. (even in s4 Nancy still experiences physical attraction to Steve despite them having unchanged compatibility) the plot surrounding them in s1 explicitly focuses on Nancy having sex with Steve and later regretting that choice. the scene that everyone remembers, is of course, the "explicit" (not really, because ST is really tasteful with how it shows these teens explore themselves) sex scene

they're in sophomore and junior year of highschool here. around 15 and 16 years old - yet the show doesn't shy away from letting them figure things out. and it's not like this sexual theme is contained in only that scene. it keeps coming back the whole season as Nancy tries to sort her feelings out and deals with the aftermath of that night

also sidenote here while still at Steve and his party: even Steve's friends are very casual with their sexualities. and yes, they can even explicitly mention sex and specific sexual acts, no holding back here

Nancy's character conflict in s1 very much hinges on her sexuality and sexual themes. and it's not like there is a magic you need to be at least this old rule to know what sex is on the show like so many people seem to believe, because even 12 year old Mike seems to very much know what his sister and Steve are up to. he even goes out of his way to use it against her

iconic line! but i've seen insane takes trying to spin this into something not alluding to something sexual. i'm sorry to say if he doesn't think they're full on having sex he at least thinks they're getting very intimate with each other regardless

so not even the youngest characters on the show are "innocent and pure" the way fandom likes to claim when it comes to sexuality. and of course they aren't. real 12 year olds know what sex is, they're young not oblivious

and the following seasons make that even more obvious

season 2

as of s2 the kids are getting more involved with the sexual jokes, not just making them about other people but even being directly involved with those themes themselves. which is also realistic. with 13 sexuality starts to get thrown your way by every possible form of media. lots of them start developing crushes, have no idea how relationships work, etc. it's messy, typical teens thrown into the dating game. (i say all of this from a developmental media psychology perspective thanks uni and not personal experience sorry lmao, i'm a bit too ace to have my own input here)

s2 features comedic and awkward mentions of sex(ual activity) towards Lucas and Max,

older peers giving their 13 year old friends well meant advice on how relationships work,

and has even younger characters play around with attraction/kissing/love as well, which is incredibly normal for kids to do at that age

they're all young and the show treats growing up realistically. while the theme of attraction or sexuality gets more relevant for them (in scenes that are often received with awkwardness by the characters themselves) the show offers them safe territory to stand on. none of them are directly confronted with sexuality and are instead offered people to seek advice from for example

meanwhile the sexuality theme for the older kids is still very much explicit. just as Nancy's arc is still heavily tied to her romance and sexuality (which ties into her non conformity themes - she's an ambition driven person trying to escape the culdesac life first and foremost)

not only do we get another sex scene (this time with a cut away), there's also explicit jokes about it after

sexuality on the show is continuously awkward and messy. Jonathan and Nancy are only 16-17 here - no one really knows what they're doing or what the right way to go ahead is and Jonathan rightfully almost does a spittake here. out of pocket Murray

sexuality. is. awkward. (we get is s2 thanks)

season 3

s3 gets even more explicit with it's awkward puberty sexuality themes

from Dustin talking about how much he likes kissing Suzie (and her liking him not having teeth for it?) which weirds Steve out to the repeating, awkwardly received, "happy screams joke" (which gets a callback in later scene)

sexuality is still awkward for them. it's a realistic approach to what 14 year olds act like and know. they're actively dating by now, they're kissing people And have messy relationship situations. all while still acknowledging knowing what sex and attraction is, duh, of course they know that. but i'm explicitly pointing it out because i see obscene amounts of people claiming the characters are completely sheltered and even implying that they know what sex is would be gross. to that i say, do you not remember being 14???

and while i'm at s3, also let it be mentioned that even the adults are suffering at the hands of the sexuality theme here. Hopper's hookups with random women are focused on in s1, but now that he's getting closer with Joyce they get very explicitly told to just have sex. literally

not putting the whole dialogue in here, i already have too many images because there's so many sex mentions in this show and he really just tells them their mating ritual is painful and they should tear their clothes off and fuck right now

thanks Murray, always insightful

season 4

and s4 has stopped just confronting the kids with the existence of sexuality, but is tentatively starting to explore mature themes more directly - which allows them to tentatively start exploring their own sexualities instead of just having to acknowledge the general concept of sexuality

Max gets to ogle shirtless Steve

Lucas has something under his bed that's never confirmed as anything except "100/10 gross" but had 90% of the audience i saw immediately assume something sexual (magazines or the like)

and has a bunch more direct nudges, from the kids "experimenting sexually" as Murray says

to Argyle explicitly telling Jonathan he needs to have sex with Nancy again

to Hopper and Joyce's escalating make out in a church while shirtless

to visual innuendos (i'm looking at you hose scene. this one wouldn't be such a big deal if there wasn't a genuine moral panic about it last year. which was crazy. people literally had to pretend the scene didn't exist to escape the witchhunting mobs, except instead of being killed for magic it'd be for looking at a canon scene and acknowledging it. crazy times - aside from that there's also more visuals you can take as innuendos in s4e1 which there's already posts about out there so i'm not getting into them here, i'm more focused on the overt textual references)

to Yuir extensively talking about pleasing women and making them cum (I'm sparing you from that, the sc in at the top was already enough)

to explicit graffities all over the place, like here as an example "give me head until i'm dead" which is in frame for the whole phone call and Steve talking about his bitchlesness. and is also some of the only easily legible text (i hope this is readable, most of my screenshots kind of died a bit so maybe you need to look at an actual clip to see the text)

that is aside from the "DRUGS" poster which touches on another point s4 makes. the show doesn't just explore sexuality, it also puts the kids into more mature situations in general (not talking about the deaths, this is a horror show), specifically drugs

Jonathan uses weed as a coping mechanism the whole season and Eddie even sells the stuff in full bags (insane weed selling practices btw, even i know that). Chrissy (17-18) wants to do weed and ketamine. and we also see Lucas (14) hungover after drinking at a party for the first time

the show does not shy away from portraying realistic teen experiences

Murray called s4 very well, the kids pound some bears, smoke some ganja, play nintendo, and experiment sexually

literally. you have drinking, weed, and confusing queer sexualities. they took this list step by step

and all of those pretty normal things teens tend to explore. and i say that as someone who was decidedly not into those things. the ace experience is a bit different, but i can still acknowledge how that period was like for my allo friends and people in general

there is an extreme push in this fandom to reject any form of sexual jokes or references in the show, made mostly by people being uncomfortable with portrayals of sexuality. however, the themes not only still exist, they're also very prominent throughout all 4 seasons and are important to a lot of the characters directly

and it's also noteworthy here to see how ST approaches it's sexuality theme. it grows with the characters. starting out as jokes and being received with awkwardness to slowly letting them figure things out on their own time and turns. an extremely realistic progression and very common for coming of age narratives such as ST. it's a far cry from shows exploring sexuality or sexual themes for the sake of the viewers enjoyment like Euph0ria (don't want it to show up in tags)

based on what we currently know s5 could very well be taking place in 1988 or later which would place the party at around 16-17 years old. going into the season with the fanon version of the show that is completely clean and non sexual will 100% set you up for disaster

ST is very realistic and non exploitative with it's exploration of teen sexuality so there is obviously nothing to worry about in the sexualization department, that's just puritan fear mongering. however, it's very likely that we're going to get more than holding hands or pecks on the lips from the characters that are now older than characters we've explicitly seen hook up before. there could be more intimate scenes or making out, yes. but there's also at least one basically guaranteed vulgar joke in there, all seasons have them

there's no real theorizing or speculation about s5 here, anything could happen and i'm not placing bets, i want the characters narratives to be wrapped up well first and foremost and trust the writers to do it well. however, going into s5 with some of the mindsets i've seen circulating on here and expecting the show to be "clean" and cater to a version of it that's never existed outside of purified fandom could genuinely make you feel blindsided by the shows canon themes

not targeted at anyone or anything specifically, just using this as a bit of a reality check of what the show is actually like after recently rewatching all of it in one go